#he needs therapy so bad

[oddberryshortcake]

Jamil’s CPTSD literally influences his entire moral outlook.

EVERYTHING has to be viewed with a master/servant dynamic because that’s the world he was forced to grow up in and still lives in.

He literally projects this onto everything and grasps at the chance to finally be the master aaa

[mofsblog]

(CW suicide) Does anyone else think TF like definitely tried to kill himself during the 10-year time period where Graves was in jail? No, like this has been an interpretation of mine for so long. It's just sooo. I feel like TF's absolute grief and guilt during that time period doesn't get talked about enough and like understandable because in the main lore it's only vaguely alluded to and implied and never really explored but like. If you think about it, you can not tell me this man did not cry himself to sleep for months if not years

Like it's fact that Graves got locked up (something TF probably blames himself for), which is already bad enough but then you take into account how TF has pre existing trauma surrounding abandonment because of his folk leaving him and I don't know about other people but I feel like a very common feeling when you're traumatised or hurt is being afraid you're going to put someone you care about through that so TF probably took it twice as hard because he felt like he "abandoned" Graves in prison. All of that guilt gets like 50% worse if you count the implication that TF has been in love with him for a long time and was self aware about it so now it's also guilt from "fuck I doomed the man I love because I couldn't save him"

AND THEN IT GETS EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT, HE DID TRY. He did try to break him out. And that trying lead to at least 3 of their crewmates/friends getting killed. No like I can not state how absolutely devastating that period probably was for TF. The survivors guilt from Graves being imprisoned, the guilt from the fact he got their entire crew killed trying to save Graves, the fact that it's canon he never spoke to anyone about it and held it in for years

All of this concluding in this line that I've always found interesting

Like I could already go on about how his identity and name change seem to have happened right after the last of his crew died and how it's really likely he changed everything about himself to distance himself from everything that happened and how it was probably too painful being himself because of the guilt and grief

But what I find interesting is the mention of the river and how it's implied this name change happened after he visited and left the river. Now there's a high chance I'm looking too much into this and this is mainly my own headcanon and interpretation but how likely do you think it is he changed his whole identity because he failed a suicide attempt (in which he probably tried to drown himself) and using a different name and identity was the second closest thing he could do to stop being himself and existing as himself

No, like I'm sorry, but it's the fact he went to a river despite not knowing how to swim after thinking the man he was pining after was abandoned by him and TF put him through the exact pain he had to go through, not to mention the isolation and beatings TF just sentenced him to by "letting him get captured" AND THATS ON TOP OF THE ACTUAL AT LEAST THREE FRIENDS/CREWMATES HE ACTUALLY GOT KILLED IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE HIM. and then the fact he literally had zero outlet during all of this. I don't know, I just feel like it's a solid possibility. TF's repression of his emotions through his nonchalant and playful attitude tends to, in my opinion, make people overlook how badly the whole thing probably affected him and I feel like that's a bit of a shame because there's so much angst potential there

Anyways I'm normsl about the league of legends gambler guy

[bunnieswithknives]

I dont know if this was asked before but why does david have stitches?

He had a lot of scars from the car accident that he really didn't like looking at so he sewed over them.

[venacoeurva]

Wren’s entire relationships during the 3rd era is marred by him gradually subconsciously becoming almost robotic and methodical in every interaction with other people due to his job because reaching every target and getting them vulnerable is a whole process that he stopped thinking about too hard and seeped into general life, and he was sort of like salesmen who can’t turn that off after work anymore.

At that time he could best be described at the worst of this by his ex as “coming home with someone’s blood on his hands nightly and a generic script falling out his mouth to still come across as something familiar and sentient, when I have my doubts on the fact of this that Wren is still someone who exists”, and this has haunted him for literal centuries and threw him in a terrible headspace of the loss of the self--and THEN got arrested like 2 days after being dumped and shipped off to Morrowind for that whole shebang, so it was a double whammy of a perceived loss of self

but it IS still kind of funny he got dumped in a conversation that was very brief and essentially just like “I think we should see other people” “is it the killing” “yeah it’s the killing”

[joanofarccoded]

unholyverse mikey.........

[horsegirlcastiel]

no but god cas would not even believe it if dean said "i love you." like he heard dean tell him he's family and he thought he could never be actual family because sam was always gonna be more important and he heard dean tear up the universe to get him back from lucifer and he thought it was because the world was ending he heard dean tell him he's his best friend and he thought 'dean has better friends' he heard it ALL and he couldn't accept it GOD the empty has to return him the empty has to so that dean can tell cas everyday that he loves him and so that cas can learn to hear it. so that he can learn to hear it in the mixtapes and the gentle touches and the concerned looks and the quality time.

[taco-slap]

Au where everything is the same except Sam and Dean get to heaven at the same time because when Dean dies he’s met by a bunch of celestial therapists that are like “hey Dean we don’t get a whole lot of people who have successfully killed themselves as many times as you so let’s talk about that for a bit huh?” And he spends 40 earth years in pre heaven therapy

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

You probably get this question a lot, but what aspects of Kou’s character make you love him so much?

(Tbh I didn’t pay much attention to him when I first got into DiaLovers but after reading your fics I really like his character a lot more lol.)

i have literally never gotten this question before so thank you. and thank you for reading my fics! i absolutely LOVE writing kou so much and i'm glad people like it. sometimes i worry i'm angsting him out too much and then i just remember his dark fate. he deserves all the love he can get ;;

i'm putting this under a cut because it's really long and has some tw

// mentions of suicide, CSA and drug abuse

His character design

starting off really basic but kou is really fucking pretty. i love his character design, his eyes are pretty, his hair is kinda dumb but cute, and he's so fruity?? the way he dresses and stands??? you can't tell me he's straight. he looks so good in all the art, he can pull of anything.

i recently got a BUNCH of kou merch on buyee for a really good price and i put it along my walls like this and damn

His voice

ryouhei kimura does such a good job with kou i think. he captures the way he can go from chirpy and happy to EXTREMELY angry in a split second. i gotta be honest i used to find kou's voice really annoying and it was like, the one thing that let me down. but then i listened to his more blood drama CD and damn. daaaaaamn. he's got such a range. honestly i love hearing kou angry lol. he's got such a sexy angry voice i can't take him seriously. and the way he says really simple things super over the top.

i also fucking love devil's spire with every part of me. i listen to it several times a day, every single day.

His humour

he's got a weird sense of humour, it's almost a bit morbid. like he talks about really serious things really jokingly. he calls yui silly nicknames and jokes with his brothers. some of the shit he says really makes me laugh even if it's not meant to. his drama CDs are great too, he's really overly dramatic and it's so funny.

His history with drug abuse

i don't think anyone wants to hear me talk about this any more because i've also written about it here and here but just know that the fact he did drugs in CANON makes me over the moon. i have such a fascination with drugs and writing characters as either recreational drug users or drug addicts is my favourite.

kou just fits it perfectly?? so far i've written him abusing heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine and MDMA, and i've hinted at him being an alcoholic in another fic. i can do so much with him. but it really draws me to his character. i wanna do drugs with kou so bad.

His further angst potential

like i said, kou's dark fate is a personal favourite. i think we see him at his lowest and most vulnerable. nothing broke me more than when ruki (you dick) breaks him apart from yui. and there's that flashback to him talking to karlheinz. and he's standing on the balcony, he says to himself "i can't see my blue sky anymore" then jumps off the fucking balcony. my guy tried to unalive because he was hurting so much.

not to mention his history of suicide attempts. i might be mistaken about this but i'm pretty sure kou is the only character who actively tried to commit suicide, and multiple times at that. his history with child assault too. we all know i'm a total slut for heavy, heavy angst. making kou severely unstable and on the verge of snapping all the time is really good if you want to write some dark shit.

he has such an unbelievable amount of trauma and it really shows. the fact he had to be given a magic eye in order to be able to simply trust someone because his trust was just that badly broken. i'll die on the hill that kou had borderline personality disorder too, i've written more about bpd here.

and that's not to mention seeing him having nightmares and stuff in more blood, and the struggles he has in lost eden.

one last thing which i don't think i've seen anyone say before, while i'm on the kou angst wagon - i know it's probably not this deep but. the implication that kou can't undo buttons himself because he was never the one undressing himself as a kid... ah...

The blue sky metaphor

kind of ties into the above point but the blue sky metaphor means a lot to me. essentially kou always thought it was something physical - like, the sky itself. but then karlheinz points out that it's something to live for. the blue sky thing is something to trust with everything, someone to live for. something always there - the fact he used drugs as a kid to find that first is pretty sad too. and then yeah, trying to leave this world when he can't see his blue sky, in which case it's yui.

uh, linking back to the previous point though, that's angst potential. he's very heavily co-dependent in a relationship.

I'm lowkey a kou-kinnie

i have a kou tattoo with the "you're my blue sky" quote and the lilies covering my arm for a reason. there's a lot of personal stuff i relate to - from seeking comfort in drugs to desperately searching for a reason to live, something to cling onto. there's a lot of thought cascades he shows which (correlate to BPD) i relate to, and kou does some pretty shitty things to yui when he doesn't know any better. i've said some nasty things similar to what kou has said although i unfortunately relate to laito on this front a lot more.

His relationship with Yui and Subaru

if we push aside the co-dependence part so i can say something positive and not sad for once, he forms relationships pretty well once he's gotten through the not-trusting stage. especially with the help of the eye. i keep going on about his dark fate but I Just Love His Dark Fate Okay. when he cries to yui telling her that she's his blue sky when they're reunited. when he tries so hard to learn to communicate and protect her and he even becomes quite good at apologising lol.

i don't have to explain why i love subakou. everyone knows i love them. but i really love them. look at the DEVELOPMENT from the first picture here to the second. i think about this so often.

i guess on that topic, i'm a huge softie for the mukami's brotherhood too. i'll always think back to the beginning of azusa's more blood when kou warns yui that azusa is the problem child. like, no, YOU'RE the problem child, kou. that's u.

there's probably more to say but goddamn i love him so much.

[deathmcth-archived]

do i give ezra a dick and taint piercing

[kiroons-hyperfixtations]

((Psychic for Luci :]

psychic — does your muse have any intrusive thoughts? if so, what are they?

Yes, he’s got a lot of issues he’s dealing with his trauma or suicidal tendencies. Most of his intrusive thoughts tend to do with someone suddenly attacking/hitting him or just imagining something horrible thing happening to someone.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[adoptable-fanfic-prompts]

Red Robin Writing Prompt

Tim only told Jason that Jason had been cleaning up Gotham the ‘easy way’ is because Tim knows for a fact how easy killing is. He had his first kill before he was even 7 years old.

No one realizes this until Joker makes Tim “choose” between shooting one of two batfam members and Tim just picks up the gun without hesitation and shoots the Joker in just the right spot for it to be fatal but for it to not be an instant death.

Tim turns to Jason, “Like I said: Easy way out.”

[haunted-xander]

Do you think Saix' emotional co-dependence started as a Nobody or did it start as human Isa and just grew to an unhealthy degree?

[papanowo]

sorry i just needed to draw this shot hes just so BOIOIOING yk

[aimbutmiss]

I think Shanks has a fear of abandonment from when Buggy left him. There was a choice, and Buggy didn't choose him. So what if the entire world thinks he's strong and powerful and looks up to him like a god?What does it all mean when Buggy won't look his way? And in the end that's the difference in their self worth issues. Buggy wanted the world, Shanks just wanted Buggy. Because Buggy was his whole world, even when Buggy believed he'd never be enough for anyone. Buggy always cared about other people and their opinions, but Shanks only cared about Buggy's. Buggy wanted what Shanks had, the approval of the world. And Shanks would have given it to him in a heartbeat if he could. Not that it matters, since Buggy will never know...

Even if the entire world chose him, it wouldn't make the kid inside Shanks stop crying. Only Buggy.

[tobeos]

rei giving koga his guitar is all fun and games until you realize that people will gift their belongings to others when they're set on dying soon......