#he now rests underneath my blossom tree

[abbeyofcyn]

Krang infection 11

PREV

Masterpost

NEXT

He was, in fact, not all right.

[osaemu]

hii could i please request watching n sitting under sakura trees as the blossoms fall w gojo ! missing him 😓

the gojo estate is a beautiful residence, but even with all its fountains and antiques, your favorite part is the courtyard. countless sakura trees line the massive courtyard, each fully grown with thousands of pink blossoms fluttering in the wind.

as you rest in the shade of your particular favorite, a picnic blanket spread out underneath you, you hear the soft crunch of heavy shoes on the leaf-ridden ground.

"took you long enough," you say playfully, not bothering to turn and look over at satoru. he sits by you with a soft exhale and rests his back against the tree.

"sorry, darling, got hung up with some of my dad's associates," satoru sighs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his lap. he hardly has to exert any effort to do so—after all, he's the strongest. but when it comes to you, he feels just a little bit weaker than he ought to. especially when you tilt your head like a puppy and smile at him, cherry blossoms fluttering around you in the wind.

satoru can't help but smile when a pink petal nestles itself in your hair, and he uses it as an excuse to run his calloused hands through your hair. you say something about not wanting to get your hair tangled, but as usual, satoru pays no heed to your words.

"satoru," you whine, flicking at his arm in a feeble effort to get him to remove his hand from your hair. "it's just a petal, stop tangling my hair!" you swat at satoru's hand again, but he only hums in response. "satoru!"

"okay, okay," he grumbles, extracting his hand from your hair and resting it on your thigh instead. "happy?"

you nod and lean against his chest, breathing in the cool, floral air of the gojo estate's courtyard. a couple moments pass in silence as you take some time to just admire the view, but of course, satoru has to interrupt.

"oh, by the way," satoru starts casually. "my parents want us to get married."

satoru's tone is awfully nonchalant for a topic like this, and because of that, it takes a second for his words to sink in. you blink a couple times before turning your head and meeting his soft blue eyes. "wait, what?"

"you heard me," satoru shrugs, wrapping his arms around you tighter. "it's nothing urgent, but they think i'm too old to still be unmarried. heh, like i'd have any trouble gettin' myself a wife anyways." he pauses and studies your face. "but really, i just want you. and my parents know that, so they thankfully dropped all of that arranged marriage bullshit."

your mouth falls open a little as a flood of information sweeps through your head. one second, you're just sitting under sakura trees with your boyfriend, and the next, he's casually bringing up marriage?

"satoru, this is . . . a lot to just dump on me right now," you say slowly. "i—"

his eyes widen and a small laugh slips out of his lips. "oh, i didn't mean it that way!" satoru says quickly. "i was just tellin' you what we were talking about in there," he clarifies, vaguely gesturing to the main building in the gojo estate. "there's nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, m'kay? i'll actually have this talk with you when i think we're ready, not when a bunch of old geezers want us to."

you smile at that, shaking your head endearingly at satoru's words. "you need to start watching your mouth, sweetheart. it'll get you in trouble someday," you tsk.

satoru scoffs lightheartedly and grabs your chin, pulling you onto his lips for a soft, floral kiss. "and you'll be there to drag me out of it, won't ya?"

yeah, you probably will be.

[system-to-the-madness]

Cherry Blossom Rests 🌸 Inumaki Toge x Reader

Pairing: Inumaki Toge x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 223 Warnings: mentions of wounds, blood Summary: After a mission, Toge and you rest under a tree

Sakura Festival Masterlist - Masterlist

“Toge, can you move your arm away? My neck hurts.”

“Okaka.”

“Asshole.”

With a groan you sat up enough to be able to grab Toge’s arm and move it away from where your head had been resting on it. Any other day you would have appreciated him offering his arm up as your headrest, but not today. You were sore all over from the mission you had just returned from. Your body was littered with small cuts, dust stuck to your skin and your sweat drenched clothes, and every muscle in your body felt like it had been robbed of any and all strength.

The mission itself had not really been dangerous, only exhausting. So much even, that you had fallen asleep in the train back home, and as soon as you had made it up the sheer infinite number of steps to the school, Toge and you had collapsed under the closest tree, not even bothering to make it back to your rooms. Here, on the school grounds you were safe from the prying eyes of public, so you had not made the effort to go further, and instead decided to rest here for a moment. Or a few moments. You had been laying underneath the blooming cherry tree for almost an hour now.

Toge protested loudly as you flopped back down, spread out like a starfish, but without the support of his arm this time. You knew he considered it his sacred duty as your boyfriend to always make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

“Toge, my neck hurts, stop it,” you protested as he tried to wriggle his hand back under your neck. “I just want to lay like that for a moment, okay? We can cuddle later.”

At your side, he whined, but pulled his hand away. You sighed quietly, focusing on the way your spine seemed to stretch out on the ground. It felt like a weigh was being removed. Experimentally you turned your head, trying to stretch out the tension in your neck, when suddenly something warm and heavy flopped down on your chest.

If you weren’t so familiar with this exact sensation, you might have been startled, but you knew what had happened, and so you just groaned a little from the way your chest got compressed by the suddenly added weight. Toge had thrown himself on top of you, arms around your waist, head resting on your chest, his bright hair tickling your chin.

“A warning next time,” you grumbled, but brought your hand up to his head anyway, running it though his strands. They were sweat and dirt coated. It had been over an hour since the fight had ended, but his body was still warm underneath his by now chilly clothes.

“Saamon Tsuna,” You should have seen it coming.

“You’re such a spoiled brat,” you sighed, craning your neck to press a kiss to the crown of his head.

Toge turned his head, resting his chin on your sternum and glanced up to you, indigo eyes scanning over your face as if he was uncertain whether you meant it. Of course, you didn’t, and he knew that, but sometimes you couldn’t shake the feeling that he still doubted your feelings for him. Was it really so hard to believe that you loved him? That idiot. But he was your idiot, and if you had to, you’d reassure him of your love for him until he got sick of it… which was a bold statement considering he always insisted he could never get enough of you.

“Okaka”, he pouted. I’m not a spoiled brat. “Takana-zuke.” You are.

“Oi,” you complained. “What did I do?”

Toge just kept pouting, giving you a moment to take in his appearance. You had been too exhausted to give him a proper once over, earlier only having made sure he was not injured too badly. Like yours, his skin was littered in cuts, his uniform dirty and still wet from sweat. At the corner of his mouth, he had missed a droplet of blood, that had by now dried and turned a dark shade of brown against his pale skin. He had used his technique too much, again. Over the past months he had gotten quite good at estimating how long he could use it, and how the impact of different commands shortened that time. But there were still moments where he went over his limits, and you hated it, hated seeing him hurt.

Reaching up, you ran your thumb over the corner of his mouth, trying to brush the dried blood away, but instead Toge turned his head to kiss your thumb.

“Hold still,” you demanded, “you have some blood there.”

Toge just rolled his eyes and pouted, but let you clean the small stain away, before looking at you expectantly.

“Tsuna Mayo,” he requested.

You furrowed your brows. “What do you want me to do?”

He rolled his eyes again, signaling you that he had expected you to understand him, before he pushed up on his hands and shifted himself so he could kiss you on the lips.

Something about Toge’s kisses always took your breath away. Sure, there were the heated kisses you shared in the privacy of your rooms, but even the smaller, almost innocent ones always made you swoon. His lips were soft and warm, his breath fanning over your cheeks in a familiar way as he pulled back after a moment to look down on you underneath him.

“Okome,” he whispered, making you smile. I love you.

“Okome,” you repeated to him, and satisfied you watched as a smile of his own spread over his face.

“Sujiko,” he smirked, lowering himself down again, so he could rest his head on your chest again.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” you complained. “You can’t make fun of me for saying I love you when you were the one who started it!”

“Shake.” Yes, I can.

“You’re awful,” you whined, your hand immediately finding its way back into his hair. “Why am I putting up with you again?”

“Takana-zuke okome.” You love me.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” You picked a cherry blossom petal out of his hair, the colour of the petal almost identical to that of his strands.

“Okome.” And I love you. Toge’s voice had gotten quieter, heavy, and you knew he was about to fall asleep.

“I know,” you whispered, carding your fingers through his soft hair. “And I’m so happy you do.”

Toge only hummed in affirmation, his eyes fluttering shut as he kept his ear pressed to your chest, listening to your breath and heartbeat. Warm sunbeams fell through the branches and blinded you, making you close your eyes too. Rationally you knew you should get up, go back to your room, shower, get patched up and write the mission report. But you really didn’t want to disturb your sleeping boyfriend. Besides, when would you get the next chance to cuddle with him on a spring afternoon under the blooming cherry trees? You sighed, relaxing against the ground. Nobody would mind if you took a little longer with that report. And if they did… their offence, no matter how big, could not compete with the feeling of peace that flooded your body from feeling Toge sleep with his arms wrapped around you.

@delzinrowe

[vixialuvs]

DONT YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR CURLY HAIR !

୨୧. pairing - riki nishimura x reader .

୨୧. cw - hurt/comfort, wrote with a curly haired hispanic reader in mind, lwk self indulgent lol :,), friends to lovers

୨୧. summary - you get insecure about your curly hair after you overhear some girls talking about it in the halls, and ni-ki is there to comfort you.

୨୧. NOW PLAYING - “a letter to my thirteen year old self” by LAUFEY .

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

you were a foreign exchange student, who has been living in korea since you were 7. you were never accepted into the standards because of your skin color, your hair, and the food you eat.

yet there was one boy, who you came to know as your best friend, nishimura riki. he came from japan, but still managed to fit in with the others. you sort of resented him, how easy people accepted him but gave you funny looks, always picking you last in games and never sitting with you during lunch.

he didn’t seem to care about any of that. he stuck by your side no matter how hard you tried to push him away, and you eventually gave in. years flew by, and you were still deemed as the odd one out, the only girl in the entire school with beautiful luscious curls, yet you were ashamed of them.

ni-ki, who was given that nickname by his friends in primary school, who was basically glued to your side, however, adored them. he would constantly ask for permission to play with your curls, and you couldn’t help but say yes, even though you knew it would make them somewhat frizzy. deep down in your heart, there was a sudden realization you were in love with the boy.

you pushed your feelings down deep, knowing he should get with one of the perfect korean girls in your school, ones with shiny straight hair and supple, pale skin that glows in the sun. you even decided that one of his fangirls would be a better match for him then you. in a final last ditch attempt to lose your feelings for him, you began to avoid him.

this hurt him so badly, seeing you dodge him in classes and hallways, hiding away during lunch in the library or the courtyard, eating alone. he kept trying to find you, hanging around the spaces you two used to sit together, under cherry blossom trees, on the bleachers, in the library, and finally, underneath the staircase.

he was going on his daily search for you when he heard sniffling come from your designated spot, and knowing your voice, he immediately knew it was you. he rushed down in his dark clothing, complete opposite from what your wearing, decked out in baby pink and white, bow in your hair and everything, seeing you sitting on the steps crying quietly. he sits beside you and cups your cheek, getting you to look at him.

“y/n? what happened?” his voice brings you out of your panic, causing you to look at the tall boy kneeled infront of you. you shake your head and look away from him, but he persists, now holding your face with both of his hands, thumbs caressing your cheeks so lovingly, as if he loves you. “cmon, look at me y/n, please. just tell me.”

he murmurs pleadingly, thumbing away your tears. you cave in, unable to resist his gaze.

“just.. everyone in this school treats me like i’m some specimen.. or like an alien from another planet. just because of my hair and my skin color. i hate it so much ni-ki. and.. um..”

you pause, not sure if what your about to say will go over well. it could seriously jeopardize your entire friendship.

“and what?”

he murmurs, looking at you expectantly, nodding along to what your saying, waiting for you to speak.

“i like you ni-ki. i like you more then a friend and more then a classmate. i like you. i don’t know why i like you. i just do, okay? i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry—“

your apologies are abruptly cut off with his pouty lips pressed onto yours. he brings you closer by placing a hand on the back of your neck to deepen the sweet, comforting kiss. your hands come up to rest on the sides of his neck and jaw. you pull away with wild eyes, but before you can speak again he cuts you off once more.

“don’t you worry about your curly hair, y/n. it’s so beautiful. people just aren’t used to your beauty, since nobody in korea has your beautiful hair. but you are so unique and ethereal, you stand out from everyone else for a good reason, and that’s why i love you. you aren’t considered normal, and neither am i.”

he rants on about how much he loves you and your hair, until you cut him off.

“you.. love me?”

you sound so awestruck. someone loves you? and it’s the boy you’ve been pining after for years?

“yes, y/n l/n, i love you so much it hurts. please, can i be your boyfriend?”

he pulls you up to your feet, yet hes practically towering over you, standing at 6’1, and interlocks your hands. he cups your cheek with another, bending down to kiss your forehead.

“yes, nishimura riki. you can be my boyfriend.”

you hum before pulling him into another sweet kiss, getting lost in his embrace.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

@vixialuvs . thank you for reading, do not copy, steal or plagiarize my work ! requests are always open !

[andypantsx3]

Deceiving the Duke | 9 | Todoroki Shouto

pairing: Todoroki Shouto x Female Reader

length: 4.1k of 30k words | 9th of 9 chapters

summary: When Camie Utsushimi elopes on the eve of her society debut, scandal threatens to destroy the family’s prospects. It’s up to you, a maid, to impersonate Camie throughout the Season, long enough that her elder sister can make a match. The only trouble? Lord Shouto Todoroki is also intent on making a match—and that match, quite impossibly, appears to involve you.

tags/warnings: romance, regency au, class differences, hidden identity/identity porn, aged up characters, eventual smut

You couldn’t think of a thing to say during the carriage ride, pretending to look out over streets glowing in the newly-risen sun. But you kept sneaking glances back at Lord Shouto, only to find him watching you contemplatively, his handsome face unreadable to you.

You wondered what he truly thought of you. If he had known this entire time you were only pretending to be Camie–why had he let you go through with it? Why had he kissed you last night, even?

You could almost think he had been trying to entrap you in turn, except that you knew him to be too good for that.

So why had he let you go on?

You stiffened as the palace came into view, a huge, imposing structure with immaculately whitewashed walls, rising several stories above the ground. An enormous wrought iron gate let into the grounds, down a short drive fringed pink-blossomed trees, which finally led onto a cobblestoned concourse which looked like it had never seen a speck of dirt.

Guards in the Yaoyorozu livery were stationed all along the palace’s face, their sabers resting conspicuously at their sides.

You felt your fingers tighten in the fabric of your dress.

Lord Shouto jumped down from the carriage as soon as it stopped, and reached out a hand for you again. You considered whether you should avoid it–you were not a lady, and you were now in the presence of hundreds of people who would see him do so. Before you could brace yourself to jump down on your own, however, Lord Shouto’s hands found your waist. Your stomach swooped as he lifted you out of the carriage entirely, placing you on the ground as though you were no heavier than a child.

Your knees felt suddenly weak, and you focused on getting your feet properly back under you. You did not dare grip his sleeve for support.

“Come with me,” Lord Shouto said, his low voice gentle in the morning air.

He offered his arm—as though you were a lady again!–and looked at you expectantly.

“My lord, I do not think you should treat me as such,” you said quietly, as a footman scurried out the entrance of the palace towards you.

Lord Shouto’s eyes picked over you, his head tilting. “There should be no object. You’ve already embroiled me in scandal enough, do you not think?” he said.

Your stomach turned over, but the tiniest quirk at the corner of his mouth told you he meant it in jest. Still–

“Your Grace, the princess will receive you in her sitting room,” the footman said, puffing as he approached.

“Thank you,” Lord Shouto said. Then he reached out and quite determinedly took your hand, pulling your arm carefully through his. He ignored the footman’s wide-eyed look, and gently tugged you along after him.

You were too stunned to say anything, your tongue feeling as though it had tied itself in a knot. The feeling only worsened as you were led deeper into the palace, down a long hall and through a series of intricately brocaded and muraled rooms with echoing marble floors. Eventually you emerged into a room painted a cheery yellow, with sunny rows of windows and several ornately patterned sitting benches.

Your heart stopped.

On the nearest sofa sat a gorgeous woman, with fair skin and raven-black hair, upon which rested a small silvery tiara. The Princess Momo Yaoyorozu herself.

Quickly abandoning Shouto, you dropped into the lowest curtsy you could manage, feeling your knees wobble underneath you. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Shouto swept the most absolutely cursory bow you’d ever seen in your life. You started, appalled by the slight.

What was he doing?

But the princess looked deeply unruffled, smiling as she rose from the sofa.

“Shouto,” she said, happily.

And then she rounded the table and embraced him.

“Momo,” Lord Shouto said in return. “It is good to see you in good health.”

You stared, aware that your mouth had dropped open, but completely unable to close it. So they–were a couple? But then you noticed the slight woman at the princess’s shoulder, who also reached out and embraced Lord Shouto.

“Jirou,” he said.

Jirou colored pink and cuffed the back of his head lightly. “Next time I’d ask you to consider causing a scene like this later in the day.”

Lord Shouto’s face went carefully blank, the very picture of innocence. “I know not what you mean.”

Jirou looked unfazed. “I’m sure.”

Just then, the princess’s gaze wandered to you, her eyes dark and fathomless and intimidatingly pretty. You froze under her sudden attention. “This must be your Miss Not-Quite-Utsushimi,” she said.

Your stomach lurched. She knew. The princess already knew what you had done.

Was this it, then? The moment of reckoning? What Shouto had brought you here for, to see that royal justice was done unto you?

But the princess just smiled, and gestured to a bench opposite the sofa. “Please, sit.”

You almost sat down reflexively right on the floor. Thankfully, Lord Shouto took your elbow and gently guided you to the chair, taking the place next to you. You tried very hard not to notice the way his strong thigh pressed against your skirts.

“Now then, Shouto tells me you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble. I’d like to hear it from you, if you don’t mind,” Princess Momo said as she settled back into her seat.

You could barely think straight. It was like every thought you’d ever had suddenly gathered in your mouth, all clamoring to burst forth. You tripped over your own words, barely managing coherence.

“Your Highness–it’s not. I mean, it’s not my trouble, it’s Lord Shouto’s. I’ve gone and involved him in a way I did not mean, and he desperately needs to call off the marriage. It’s entrapment! He was caught with me, and I’m not Camie–his reputation—my fault, I mean–”

Lord Shouto’s gloved hand found your thigh, and you jumped.

His mouth drew close to your ear. “Breathe, Y/N.”

It was the first time you’d ever heard him use your name, and the sound went through you like a lance. You only just managed to clamp down on what might have been a horrible little whimper, your fingers clenching in your skirts for something to ground you.

“It’s as I described in my letters, Momo,” Lord Shouto said, turning back to the princess.

She ignored him, her gaze picking over you. “You mean you meant to entrap His Grace?” she asked.

“No!” you yelped, leaning forwards desperately. “No, please. You must ask him to call it off!”

She tilted her head and waited, as if for more of an explanation.

You blew out a nervous breath, trying to find the words to explain. “I am a–I was a maid, Your Highness. I have worked for the Utsushimi family for years. Just days before the season, Camie Utsushimi eloped with Lord Inasa Yoarashi, leaving her elder sister Caroline the consequences of the scandal. Mrs. Utsushimi–that is, it was decided that I should pretend to be Camie long enough for Miss Caroline to make a match.”

The princess’s eyebrows raised.

“I did not expect that I should–-that I should find someone as good and kind as Lord Shouto. I have no excuses for participating in and continuing the charade.”

You did not know how to continue. You let the words sit there in heavy silence.

“And what would you want now?” The princess finally asked. “Now that you’re to be revealed as a servant?”

You ducked your head. “I want only that Lord Shouto distance himself quickly.”

“And you?” Princess Momo asked.

You did not dare ask that she let you flee into the countryside as you so desperately hoped. It was the height of folly to think that you would be let off with no punishment. God, however had you thought you could have pulled this scheme off? What absolute madness had possessed you to go along with it?

“Whatever Your Highness thinks is suitable penalty,” you said, unable to look into her face.

“Why did you do it?” The princess asked, as Lord Shouto had.

You answered as you had then. “For money, Your Highness.”

Lord Shouto leaned forward. “For her family, Momo. She sends a wage.”

Your skin prickled, hoping that this admission would not make targets out of your parents too.

“And your parents know of this scheme?” she asked.

You panicked, getting to your feet. “No! Your Highness, please, I have not told them–”

“Momo, I’ll thank you not to scare my intended,” Lord Shouto intoned from your side. You realized he’d also risen. He took your arm, tugging you gently back down. “Nothing will happen to your family, Y/N,” he said.

Your pulse pounded under his grip. You tried to focus on how gentle and warm his touch was, as little as you deserved it.

Fuck. Fuck, just what had you gotten yourself into?

“You are lucky,” Princess Momo said finally, “That Shouto thinks this is all very funny.”

You froze, glancing up at her. He–he thought this was–what?

“He’s been writing me these past months, telling me of you. I did not like the idea of it, but Shouto tells me you are…good. That you did not mean to draw anyone’s notice, and that you have very consistently resisted his advances,” the princess said.

Your memory flashed to the feeling of his mouth on you last night. You had not really resisted his advances consistently enough. If only she knew how inappropriately you had reveled in them.

“I see that you are much like what he says,” the princess said, and you heard a kind of unexpected softening of her tone.

You did not know what to say.

“I brought you here to see for myself. And I am…satisfied,” she said. “Though, I will always watch out for him as he has watched out for me since the War for All.”

The knot of tension in your chest uncoiled a little. But surely, she could not mean that she meant to let an infringement of this nature go unpunished?

“Your Highness, I am afraid I do not understand,” you said.

Lord Shouto’s hand found the side of your thigh again, and he pressed those long fingers against you. “She means that she will insist on keeping an eye on you, once we are married,” he said.

Your head snapped towards him, and you gaped. He watched you back, those mismatched eyes glittering in a way that you found so very horribly familiar.

“Married?” you echoed incredulously. “My lord–I am not–you cannot–what?”

Shouto ducked his head to look into your face more closely. “Then you will not have me?”

You sputtered. “Have you? Me, have you? My lord, really, are you unwell? We’ve just established, I am not Camie Utsushimi!”

“I’m well aware…Y/N.” Lord Shouto said, his tone dropping terribly low. A little shiver went up your spine.

“And as you are now well aware, I have known for some time,” he continued. “I knew from the beginning. And I certainly knew when I kissed you last night.”

The shiver became a full body shudder. “Lord Shouto–it doesn’t make sense…”

“He never does,” Jirou piped up helpfully from the princess’s side. “He’s been strange since birth, according to Momo.”

Shouto’s features went intentionally deadpan again, as though he could not countenance such a claim. You couldn’t help the grin that pulled at your mouth.

“He liked when you threw the apricot cake at him,” the princess supplied. “Wrote about it in great detail in his first letter about you. He also waxed poetic about your inability to speak any Greek, as though that were a great accomplishment of yours.”

Your ears went hot. “You did not,” you said.

Shouto had the grace to look the tiniest bit abashed. “Thank you, Momo,” he said, with absolutely no inflection to his tone whatsoever.

You were overcome by a wave of helpless affection for him. “Lord Shouto, I’m still afraid it isn’t done…much as I should–much as your affections are more than reciprocated. I–I’m afraid the scandal–”

“Will not bother me,” Shouto said.

You waved your arm helplessly. “My lord–”

“If it helps,” Princess Momo said. “At Shouto’s behest, I’ve found a little barren plot of land and a just-barely noble title that might be granted to you, in order to facilitate a proper marriage. I…owed him a favor, for services rendered in the War for All. That is, if you will agree to have him.”

Shouto looked back at you, looking a little bit smug for managing to have pulled all this together.

“I’ve procured a special license weeks ago. And I have also written Lord Inasa, and your Camie,” he said. “As it happens, I know Lord Inasa well enough. They will attest to having known of your status, and to having attended the wedding. Your friends Miss Uraraka and Lady Asui have also agreed, provided that you apologize to them in person.”

“As will Jirou and I,” Princess Momo said. “Which should be enough to get half the ton pretending that they were there.”

“Miss Caroline and Mr. Awase, should they care to continue their engagement, should also be told. There should be no impropriety in the match, then,” Shouto said. “Although there will still be talk of your impersonating Camie.”

You could not believe it.

It all sounded so unreal–that you, simply by agreeing now, could become Shouto’s wife.

Horrible, hot little tears gathered in the corner of your eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Shouto pointed out, though his tone was gentle. “Let those be the last secrets we keep from one another.”

A wave of emotion crashed over you, and it was only the princess’s presence that kept you from throwing yourself at Shouto.

It was real. He was really real, and he truly wanted you.

“Yes,” you said, watching him closely. “If you will really have me, then yes. It would be improper of me, I think, to admit how much I…how much I love you. But I have been driven mad with it, Shouto. I love you.”

A blindingly handsome smile lit up Shouto’s face, and he’d pulled you to him before you realized he’d even moved. He had you up and out of the seat in the blink of an eye, and he swept another barely-courteous bow in Princess Momo’s direction–one that you realized was born of years of friendship, rather than any disrespect.

“You understand we must take our leave of you,” Shouto said.

Princess Momo bit her pretty lip as though fighting down a laugh. “Indeed. Though I will expect you both back for tea the week after next. I still have questions.”

“I'm afraid I have a honeymoon planned,” Shouto said. He leaned down to you and said in conspiratorial tones. “I think perhaps some Greek ruins might be in order.”

You groaned out a laugh. “Shouto…”

Princess Momo waved you off, disinterested. “Then write, please. I am pleased to see you finally happy, Shouto.”

“I am,” Shouto said seriously. He pulled you towards the door in a bout of sudden impatience. “Thank you, Momo.”

She waved again, and then you were through the door, a footman collecting you and leading you back out of the palace.

Your head was spinning with a rush of emotion, and your heart beat a staccato of disbelief in your chest. Shouto helped you back into the carriage, a fond little grin on the corner of his mouth.

“You really mean it, Y/N?” he asked as he followed you in, taking up the seat next to you rather than opposite. You soaked in the delicious warmth of him alongside you, something you had been sure just fifteen minutes ago that you might never feel again. “Be honest with me.”

You nodded, looking up into his handsome face. “I promise to always be honest with you from this point on.”

Another smile twitched at the corner of Shouto’s mouth, a wry, mischievous little thing. “Good,” he said, his voice dropping low. “As I plan to make an honest wife out of you now, love.”

You shivered again, and Shouto drank it in with far too much satisfaction.

But then he leaned in, smiling, and kissed you.

Over the carriage ride, you spoke very little–far too occupied with one another to manage much conversation–but Shouto did convey that your wedding would be a secret affair, first thing in the morning, under the eye of the Archbishop who was closely aligned with the Yaoyorozu family, and excellent at keeping secrets.

Which left you with the entire afternoon—an afternoon you planned to spend wisely.

When you arrived back at his lodgings, an attempt was made to feed you and offer you a room of your own–so that things might be proper. But you hadn’t done any of this properly in the slightest, and you didn’t plan to start now.

In only a matter of minutes, you had both stumbled into Shouto’s bedroom, an elegantly-appointed suite that you would have to inspect more closely later, when you weren’t so preoccupied with what his mouth was doing just above the neckline of your dress.

“Shouto, you’ll tear it,” you said, as he tugged at the higher, more conservative collar of your servant’s garb.

“Good,” Shouto intoned in his low voice, his mouth still pressed to the line of your neck in a way that reminded you of the masquerade last night. “You’ll never need it again.”

His fingers tugged harder, and he murmured quietly, “Once I have this off you, you’ll never dress as a maid again.”

The thought made you dizzy, and you grasped his shoulder for stability, which only gave him better purchase to tug your dress down the other arm. Soon he’d gotten you down to your stays and stockings, and the appreciative groan he made as he looked you over sent little shivers over your skin.

He walked you back to his bed, layering kisses everywhere–over your face, your chest, your arms, any part of you he could reach.

“You’ll stop me, if you want to?” he asked, mismatched eyes flicking up to yours.

“I don’t want to,” you told him, reaching out to grasp his coat, pulling him down to the bed with you. His warm, hard body against you dredged up the memory of last night–all those straining feet of him pressing you against the wall, that feeling that had built up within you as he touched you through your skirts. “I could have screamed when they found us last night.”

Shouto’s face dropped into the crook of your neck, and he left a stinging bite on your shoulder. “I almost challenged Mr. Awase to a duel there and then. All good sense had left me.”

You knew the feeling–all good sense had left you quite presently, replaced with the burning desire to have him over you, pressing all along you, weighing you down into the mattress and finishing what you’d started on the assembly room balcony.

“Shouto, please. I want–I need–”

Shouto didn’t let you finish, sealing his mouth over yours. His fingers busied themselves with the laces of your stays, and it was only a matter of minutes until he had you bare to him entirely.

“Perfect,” he said, in a tone so low you could feel it in your bones. His fingers pressed between your thighs, and your gasp echoed in the early morning quiet. “You are perfect.”

You rather thought he was perfect, as you finally managed to push his coat off of him and tore at the buttons of his shirt. Underneath he was all hard muscle and smooth skin, and you found yourself struck dumb by the way his abs flexed, the way his waist tapered into the line of his breeches.

He was even more perfectly carved than those blasted Greek sculptures, and you surged up to kiss him again. His fingers found their way back between your thighs, and you threw your arms over his shoulders, clinging to him as he worked you up to the peak he’d brought you to last night.

It felt like you had no control over yourself as you writhed against his hand, your mouth desperately seeking his to quiet the noises you wanted to make.

Shouto’s touch was maddening, every twist of his fingers smooth and deft, and his thumb worked your clit so gently you wanted to scream. It was too much, and yet not enough, and yet everything you’d ever wanted—

“Please, Shouto,” you begged. “Please, please.”

“Please what, love?” he asked, smiling down at you. But you could tell he knew what you wanted, and that he wanted it too, if the hard press of him against your thigh was any measure.

“Shouto, if you don't take me in the next few moments, I swear there will be an entire hailstorm of apricot cakes with your name on them–!” you threatened, but Shouto was laughing and pressing into you before you could finish, and you cut off on another gasp, clutching him for dear life.

The stretch of him inside you was sharp, and unfamiliar, and a little uncomfortable at first. But he seemed to know what he was doing, teasing your clit and layering hot, biting kisses all over you, until you didn’t know what to focus on–until he was fully inside you.

He kissed you utterly stupid while he let you adjust, his hands everywhere, distracting you. He murmured sweet things, how beautiful you were, how lovely, how perfect for him. By the time he finally moved you were a shivery puddle of praise and feeling, and the slide of him was so suddenly good you couldn’t even think straight.

“I knew you were my match the minute you first spoke to me,” he bit at out as his hips worked against you. “I knew I would love you.”

You bit back an embarrassing noise as Shouto’s pace grew faster and unmeasured. “I–Shouto–love you–” you managed. Shouto’s hips jerked in response, and he grasped your thighs, pulling you even harder into him. You couldn’t hold back a moan as he hit deeper within you and the new angle had you shuddering uncontrollably. He huffed a harsh breath against your throat, similarly affected, his fingers digging into you thigh.

After that, it was only a matter of minutes. Everything about him seemed calculated to drive you over the edge–the feeling of him hot and hard inside you, the sight of his abs tightening and flexing between your thighs, his fingers and his mouth all over you. The flush of effort on his cheekbones looked so good on him that you could barely believe he was real.

Everything–absolutely everything about him drove you right to the edge of madness, and then another hard thrust from him sent you right over it.

You cried out his name, trapped underneath him as you rode out your pleasure. And it seemed to hit Shouto too–his eyes widened as he watched you, and he bit out a curse you’d never heard from him before. His hips stuttered, frantically bucking into you as if he had no control, and a warmth flooded inside you.

Shouto breathed out a shaky breath and relaxed over you, the sticky, hot weight of him pinning you underneath him.

“I love you,” was all you could think to tell him, your mind still fuzzy with pleasure. “I love you.”

Shouto’s mouth curved into another wry little grin, and he smiled down at you, those mismatched eyes glinting.

“I see I did make an honest woman of you, then,” he said, sounding a little too pleased with himself.

You kissed him to shut him up, and pulled him closer–unable to deny that he had. You couldn’t think of anything you wanted than to give him your whole heart, bare and honest and real, for the rest of your lifetime together.

There would be no deceiving the duke–-not anymore.

Especially if, after you’d caught your breath, you could convince him to make an honest woman of you yet again.

And hopefully, again and again and again.

[denim-devil]

Kinktober Day 5 — Wall sex/Hickies

Pairings — Bully!Billy Hargrove x Wheeler!Male reader

Summary — Having the house to yourself was always a bonus but a certain Hargrove stumbles in and breaks apart your plans for a relaxing night…

A/N — Okay so I lied, I’m back on with Kinktober I just needed to clear my head and really decide on characters I find easy to write, so here it goes…

[ NOT EDITED ]

──────. • ☆:*.☽ .* :☆ﾟ• . ──────

He pushed past you, making his way into your home through the open front door. You shivered at the cold draft he brought it, he looked to be cold himself but you didn’t say anything.

Instead you sighed, slamming the door shut before turning to Billy. He made himself at home, sitting on one of the counter top- stools, his ring clad fingers travelling over to the freshly made batch of cookies.

The smell almost had Billy weak in the knees, he didn’t waste time, placing the warm crumbly biscuit in his mouth.

“Hands off Hargrove, there for my little sister’s baking stall-“

You were angry, you spent all night trying to perfect the recipe and once you did, Billy had to come and tear it all down, like he did with pretty much anything you did.

He stood before wrapping one of his much larger and warmer hands around your mouth, pushing you back into the wall behind you harshly causing a thump to ring out into the open space.

He was close, practically breathing down your neck.

“But there so damn sweet-“ he teased before taking another bite of the soft, halloween themed cookie. A certain blush crept up into your cheeks, blossoming like a tree’s branches.

Billy took that as an invitation, removing his hand his darted forwards, lips crashing into your own. Your anger was replaced with an almost tethering hunger, one that had you give into him, to your previous feelings for him.

This whole year was like a chase of cat and dog, Billy always coming out on top, including tonight.

“Get off of me you dick-“

You struggle to get out of his grips but of course, Billy wasn’t going to make it that easy for you…was he?

Another chuckle and a shove later your turned, now facing the cold, wooden wall. You begin to panic knowing full well Billy had some shitty trick up his sleeve.

He secured your hands together with one of his own before using the other to twist your face towards him gently. Your met with his ocean blues, his messy, dirty blonde curls hanging over his forehead…you really needed help.

“You know…this game, it’s got me thinking” Billy pressed his front into your arched back, before looking back up at you, licking over his teeth before his lips stretch into a menacing smile.

“Thinking what?” You slightly stutter over your words but the shyness only added fuel to his fire. He cockily began attacking your neck with his lips, kissing the sensitive skin residing underneath your right ear, toying with it before sinking his teeth in, sucking, creating a dark, red blotch.

“Thinking that maybe…just maybe you’d be into me” his voice continued on it’s low tone, it’s raspiness causing your thighs to press together, relieving the ache between your legs.

“You t-thought wrong” your cheeks heat up, you were the same colour as Billy’s open, burgundy shirt. He took note of that and used it to the best of his abilities. Releasing your hands, you rest them above your head, against the wall like the rest of your body, giving into him.

His finger tips graze over the waist band of your denim jeans, already they unclasped the button seductively, which helped Billy push them down, along with your boxers, that alone had you squirming in place, you were lying if you said you never thought about this…

“There we go, fucking perfect sweetheart” the nickname alone had you pushing back into him, your bare ass rutting against his clothed ass.

Quickly, due to his own aching member, Billy too unfastens his belt clasp and button, shoving his denim jeans lower until they pooled around his ankles, his cock slapping up into his flat stomach suggesting his boxers had also joined the mess of denim material on the kitchen floor.

He settled into you, his girthy cock slotting perfectly between your ass. You melted into his touch, clearly giving up your tough demeanour.

“How wrong was I…?”

The question left you speechless, you could only concentrate on the way his cock felt…down there, you’d give anything to know what it felt inside.

“B-Billy please; I’m begging- fuck” your whimpers of neediness encourage Billy to spit into his hand, reaching down he began fisting his dick, lathering the slick until he was satisfied.

He pressed the tip against your hole before silence fell over the both of you, preparing yourself’s for what was to come.

Once you breathily sighed, wiggling your hips antagonistically, Billy pushed forwards, stretching your pucker uncomfortably, he was big, so damn big you were scrambling to grip onto the hands securing your hips in place.

“Stop- please, it hurts”

Billy understood, slowing down but still pushing forwards, willing to break the boundaries you’ve had in the past, you were his now…nothing could change that, especially judging by how your body was reacting to him.

“Look at that- so fucking accepting, this body needs it- fuck, that’s it sweetheart”

The burn slowly sizzled down into a dull pleasure that began to ring from your gut upwards, blooming across your body. Billy was fully sheathed inside, he’s never felt more at home.

“Ready?”

You nod before allowing your bully to start his ravishing, you were certain by the end of this, you and your body wouldn’t be the same, that’s for sure…

[evereinefaust]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

Today's the day the four council boys dreaded the most. It wasn't alien to them that students of Akademi were entranced by the myth of the confession tree at the back of the school, and that many would attempt to have a chance at love by confessing to their crushes on a Friday underneath the cherry blossom tree.

It's also not unusual that a certain girl in their small group was roped into many situations regarding that stupid myth countless times.

No matter how many times the four boys tried to dissuade [Y/n] from accepting random invitations and meet with men underneath the cherry blossom only to reject their feelings, the [h/c]-haired council member is still an adamant girl. That's why, most of the time, the boys can't help but watch over the whole situation from afar, ensuring that no mishap would befall their precious Vice President.

"That girl really..." a certain blonde sighed, massaging his temple as he held the note in his hand.

After the dismissal of their last class, the five student council members immediately left their respective classrooms to fulfill their duties. If it were any other day, Reiichi would find himself waiting for a while for the other members to slowly file into the room. But today, it seemed that a certain someone already beat him to it.

Hey, Rei-kun! I won't be able to do my duties as usual because of you know what. You don't have to worry about me, I'll make sure to be done in a jiffy and return to the council room afterward. Thankies~ Love, [Y/n]

That was what was written in the paper Reiichi held. Although the male knew that it wasn't unusual for the [h/c]ette to leave notes informing him of such rendevous, he couldn't shake the feeling that she might be getting herself into deep trouble by simply meeting with him.

"Oh, was [Y/n]-chan still not here?" a familiar voice chimed in, followed by a couple of footsteps entering the room.

Reiichi turned around and spotted the three boys. Grunting, he showed them the paper. "She went first to meet with that boy."

Even without explicitly saying the name, the boys knew who their president was pertaining to. The three of them had varied reactions to Reiichi's words — Daisaku clicked his tongue, expression hardening; Ken pursed his lips, a slight crease embedded between his eyebrows; while José's half-lidded eyes stared at the wooden floor.

"So she went straight to the confession tree and met Yudasei, huh?" the black-haired enforcer scoffed, the information leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

"It appears so," the blonde hummed. Folding the note and putting it inside his pockets, he then faced his members. "We'll focus on doing our duties. For now, let's patrol our designated areas. If anyone sees [Y/n] on the way, inform her to stay and rest in the student council room."

"Understood."

"Mhm."

"Okay."

The three of them nodded. After that brief meeting, the four boys went on to do their designated task for the afternoon — patrolling the school and ensuring that no students were breaking the rules while also keeping an eye out for a certain [h/c]-tressed female.

The boys spent over an hour patrolling the campus, the students noticeably fewer as time went by. Despite their efforts, they hadn't come across [Y/n] yet. Reiichi was growing concerned as the minute passed by, his heart beating with an uncomfortable feeling.

"Has any of you seen her yet?" he asked, gazing over the three council members when they had an unexpected encounter at the plaza.

"Sadly no," Ken shook his head, a frown visible on his face.

Daisaku crossed his arms, pursing his lips in thought. "I've patrolled all floors but I haven't seen a glimpse of [Y/n]. Although I would see [h/c] hair out the corner of my eyes, it was just another random student."

"Same here," the exchange student added. "I haven't encountered her during my outside patrol."

"Hm..." the blonde placed a hand under his chin, a slight shift on his cold facade as he thought. After a moment, Reiichi sighed and nodded back. "Alright, let's continue with our patrol then. We'll cover [Y/n]'s part of the school in her absence."

Once again, the council members parted ways as they did another round of patrol around the campus, this time, including areas that fell under the female's jurisdiction. Worry was gnawing at the edges of their minds, their eyes peeled for any signs of [Y/n]. They questioned passing students, hoping to gather some information about her whereabouts, but to no avail.

However, a glimmer of hope seems to present itself to them. Out of the corner of their eyes, they spotted a particular black-haired student walking away. Their footsteps hastened as they followed Yudasei, the only one who could have the answer to their lingering questions.

"Have you seen [Y/n]?" Reiichi took hold of Jokichi's shoulder, stopping the boy in his tracks. The blonde's expression was a mixture of concern and frustration.

Yudasei seemed taken aback by the confrontation, his aloof demeanor faltering slightly. "I... I haven't seen her."

Daisaku scoffed and took a step forward, glaring down at him. "Come on, man, don't play games. Tell us where she is."

"No, I'm serious. I haven't seen her since I waited for her at the cherry blossom tree," Yudasei gulped, clearly a bit intimidated by the situation. "I swear!"

The boys exchanged puzzled glances.

"Explain," Reiichi demanded, releasing the third year and crossing his arms.

Yudasei took a deep breath, his composure wavering under the intense pressure of each council member's stare at him. "After cleaning time, I went straight to the confession tree. I waited for her for about an hour, but she didn't come. I... I wasn't expecting her to accept my feelings, but I never thought she'd stand me up like that."

This revelation sent alarm bells ringing in the boys' heads. They knew [Y/n] well enough to realize that she wouldn't just stand someone up without a good reason. Something was definitely wrong. Reiichi's mind raced as he processed the information. [Y/n] wouldn't just stand Yudasei up like that unless something urgent came up. His concern for her grew stronger by the minute, and he exchanged a quick look with the other members.

"Tch!"

After gathering this information, they left Yudasei and continued their search for [Y/n]. Dread and anxiety crept through their hearts as they scoured the campus, increasingly worried about her safety. As the sun began to set and their search seemed futile, they made their way back to the student council room, a heavy feeling of unease hanging over them.

"Where could she have been?" the blonde murmured, feeling agitated without seeing the girl since.

"She couldn't have returned to the council room while we were patrolling, could she?" Ken suggested, trying to ease the unsettled atmosphere over them.

The black-haired enforcer shook his head. "No. We know her too well. If she were indeed there, there would be tons of males flocked around by now."

"Mhm. Besides, she is usually the one coming to find us first, isn't she?" José added, rubbing his sleeved arm for a sense of comfort.

"And she couldn't have gone home yet. She won't do that without informing any of us," Reiichi continued, his mind racing with possibilities. With knitted brows and worry swirling in his oceanic pools, he muttered. "Just where on earth are you, [Y/n]?"

As they neared the room, a metallic scent wafted into their senses, growing stronger as they approached. The hall was quiet, devoid of any soul other than the four of them. The orange of the setting sun, once calming and beautiful, added a haunting sense of dread as it enveloped them with its hue.

"Can you smell that?"

"Yeah. Smell like rusted metal."

José and Ken exchanged confused glances, but hearing their conversation, Daisaku and Reiichi immediately recognized what it meant. Eyes wide and hearts racing inside their chest, the two boys burst into the room without hesitation, surprising the other boys.

"Wh—Reiichi-kun?!"

José and Ken trailed close behind them, confused yet alarmed at the two's sudden sprints. The sliding doors to the student council room slammed open, Reiichi's hands gripping each side. The pungent smell of metal was strong and suffocating, and the source was something inside this room.

He had hoped that he was just overreacting, he had hoped that once he opened his eyes, he would find everything to be normal. But reality shattered his hopes like glass hitting the cold, hard floor and their worst fears were confirmed. There, in the center of the room, was a gruesome sight that would forever be etched into their memories.

On the table, lay [Y/n]'s lifeless body, surrounded by a pool of blood. Multiple stab wounds adorned her once vibrant form, her beautiful white student council uniform matted with crimson, the fabric is torn and decorated with thorned roses sticking out from her open wounds. The metallic scent they had picked up on was the scent of her blood, and the realization was enough to send a wave of horror through their veins.

Her once bright, [e/c] orbs were now vacant and dulled. Her complexion paled as her life was taken away from her. Her beauty...stilled.

"No... No, this can't be happening," Reiichi's voice quivered, his legs faltering as he rushed to her side. His hands trembled as he lifted her head, his heart aching at the sight of her lifeless eyes. He whispered her name, a desperate plea as if trying to will her back to life.

Daisaku's fists clenched at his sides, his knuckles turning white. Anguish twisted his features, a mixture of disbelief and rage. Ken and José stood frozen, shock rendering them temporarily incapable of reacting to the horrifying scene before them.

"W-we need to call for h-help. I-I'll get the teacher!" Ken's stammering voice finally broke through the haze that had settled over them. Despite his trembling body, he willed himself to push through the shock. Turning around, he exited the room, running to the faculty as fast as he could.

As the sound of Ken's footsteps disappeared and was replaced by the deafening silence of the room, the realization of what they were witnessing fully sank in. They had lost one of their own, someone they had all cared for deeply. The student council room, once a place of laughter and camaraderie, was now a scene of tragedy.

Reiichi continued to cradle [Y/n]'s lifeless body in his arms, his tears falling onto her cold cheeks. The weight of the situation pressed heavily on his chest, threatening to crush him with the overwhelming grief that consumed him. The pain was indescribable as if a part of his soul had been torn away.

Daisaku's anger surged through him, a fiery rage that burned hotter than anything he had ever felt before. His hands shook as he clenched them into fists, his nails digging into his palms. He stared at the scene before him, his mind a whirlwind of emotions. How could something like this happen? Why had fate been so cruel?

José's usually half-lidded eyes were wide open in shock, his usually calm and collected demeanor shattered. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't fathom that [Y/n], the girl he had always seen with a smile, was now gone. He felt a knot in his stomach, his heart heavy with sorrow for the loss of a beloved.

As the minutes passed, the room remained silent except for the occasional sound of stifled sobs. The sun had fully set, casting a dim and eerie glow over the tragic scene. Outside, the world continued to move forward, oblivious to the heart-wrenching event that had taken place within those four walls.

Ken returned with a teacher in tow, the older woman's eyes widening in shock as she took in the sight before her. She quickly made a call to the authorities, her voice trembling as she described the situation. The teacher stood beside Reiichi, gently placing a hand on his shoulder as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know what to say in the face of such a devastating loss.

The next day, the school held a somber memorial for the fallen student council vice president. The students were stunned and devastated by the sudden tragedy, and the atmosphere in the school was heavy with grief. Even though it was a Saturday, everyone attended the ceremony, even some of their relatives came to pay respect to the female.

It surely came as a shock to everyone about the occurrence. After all, they didn't expect that the prestigious Akademi would experience such a gruesome incident within its grounds. What's more, it was a horrific murder done to one of the most popular and lovable students in school.

[Y/n] [L/n], the vice president of the student council, was a well-respected and admirable upperclassman. She was kind, compassionate, friendly, and pure. She extends help to every student who needs it. She doesn't discriminate against her peers. And she held a great sense of justice and actively upheld it.

[Y/n] [L/n], a model student and inspiration to all. Although some were envious and jealous of her excellence, popularity, and beauty, everyone will admit that she is on a different level than them. And the only ones who could comfortably and equally stand by her side were those four men.

[Y/n] [L/n]. She wasn't just any student. She wasn't just any girl. In the eyes of those four, she was their goddess. She was everything they hoped for, everything they dreamed of, everything they wanted. That's why, for as long as they live, they made an individual silent vow to never let anyone stain her.

That's how they became her thorns. And she, their rose.

However... not all beauty lasts forever... eventually, all flower has to wither.

The four council members, though devastated themselves, were now even more distant and unapproachable. The memorial ceremony was a blur as they struggled to accept the loss of their friend and colleague — their beloved. Every time a student came and attempted to console even one of them, they would glare at the student, the rage and coldness that brewed within was evident in their piercing stare.

Ken Kyonashima, known for being a humble and friendly secretary of the council, became passive-aggressive. His smile, once held warmth, became a broken smile filled with grief and anger. His once amiable orbs that resembled the setting sun were now distant and dull. Although he refrained from speaking harshly, his words held animosity within, always aimed at the students who approached him, no matter who they were.

After all, it was because of them that this happened.

José Silva, known for being the exotic treasurer of the council, actively avoids anyone who approaches him. His shy and easily-flustered demeanor before, now transformed into a detached facade. His beautiful eyes, reminiscent of a lush forest, were now shielded by a wall of indifference. No longer did he offer his signature awkward yet endearing smiles to the students who admired him. No longer did he respond to anyone who spoke to him.

After all, it was because of them that this happened.

Daisaku Aragaki, known as the reformed enforcer of the council, seems to have reverted back to his delinquent ways. The way he stared down at students who approached him held a challenge in his gaze, daring them to say something that would set him off. His sharp and abyssal eyes, once sources of intimidation, were now even more fearsome. He exuded an aura of danger, making it clear that he wasn't to be trifled with.

After all, it was because of them that this happened.

And there was him... Reiichi Tanaami, the cold yet dependable president of the council. From afar, it doesn't seem like he changed after the incident. He still carried himself with the same air of authority and control. But those who knew him well could detect the subtle shifts in his demeanor. His gaze held a depth of sorrow that wasn't there before, and the lines on his face seemed to have deepened overnight.

Reiichi was struggling to maintain his composure, torn between his role as a leader and the pain of losing someone so dear to him. Unlike the others, he didn't push people away with hostility or avoidance. Instead, he was surrounded by an almost palpable sense of melancholy, drawing an invisible barrier that kept others at a respectful distance.

After all, it was because of them that this happened.

During the memorial ceremony, he stood at the forefront, delivering a heartfelt eulogy that moved everyone present to tears. His words spoke of [Y/n]'s dedication, kindness, and unwavering commitment to making the school a better place. He described her as a guiding light, someone who inspired him and his fellow council members every day.

The entire time, he had his gaze fixated on a particular couple at the very front of the audience. The pair wept, their ragged cries unrestrained despite his speech. Reiichi, Daisaku, Ken, and José could only observe in silence as [Y/n]'s parents lamented the loss of their beloved child.

If what the four were feeling right now was agonizing enough that nothing could fill the void in their hearts, how much more excruciating the pain would be for the very people who spent all their lives caring for and watching the girl grow up, only to discover that her life was snuff away without warnings in just a day?

Witnessing the raw pain of [Y/n]'s parents made it even more unbearable. The guilt they harbored for not being able to prevent her tragic fate gnawed at their hearts like a relentless storm, tearing away any semblance of peace they might have had.

And yet, despite the efforts he and his members have to uphold themselves, rumors of a murderer on campus circulated, further contributing to the tense and gloomy atmosphere. Amid the memorial proceedings, the four boys struggled to keep their emotions in check, feeling a burning anger at some students' indifferent conversations about [Y/n]'s life and passing.

Unbeknownst to them, a certain female student watched from the shadows, her smirk revealing a sinister satisfaction. She had achieved her twisted goal of removing [Y/n], the one her beloved had a crush on. The price, however, was steep—the shattered hearts of four grieving souls and a school forever scarred by the darkness that had infiltrated its halls.

"Oh, well~ I guess I just need to avoid any of the council members from now on," she tittered, hiding the sadistic smile behind her fist. Her black eyes swirled with madness, pink tinted her cheeks as her heart thumped with a triumphant euphoria. "The only sin you had, dear [Y/n]-senpai, was being the object of interest of my beloved. You should've known not to entangle yourself with other people's affairs. Fufu~"

[angry-trashcan]

Welcome Home

Part fourteen to Hair Holds Memories

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, fainting, reader uses they/them pronouns. Let me know if I missed anything.

2.1K WC

(First) (Read on AO3)

You looked back at Ravio. His face held a small, fake smile as he waved slowly. His robes blew in the gentle breeze of the clearing. “Be safe.”

You nodded, “We will.” Before turning back and stepping through the portal, hand in hand with Legend. The darkness faded quickly as the bright light from the new world over took your vision. You were the last one through, taking in your surroundings slowly as your eyes tried to adjust.

The smell of magnolia blossoms flew through the air. Bees danced around honeysuckles on an old fence. Your vision blurred.

“Anyone know where we are?” Time’s voice sounded like a distant echo to your ears as you looked to the familiar tree line beyond the small field.

“Not mine, there’s too many trees.” Wind piped up.

“The air smells sweet though. Maybe it’s spring?” The voices melded together as you fell to your knees.

“Y/N! Are you okay?!”

“It may have been the portal.”

“The portal usually doesn’t affect them, though!”

There were too many voices at once as you looked up to the trees above you. A large white flower dropped a pedal as your eyes went black.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

You awoke to the smell of cooking meat.

“These woods make good huntin’.” Twilight’s voice was light from somewhere near you.

“They really do. You caught this not far away, huh?” Wild responded.

“Yeah, it’ll feed us good for a few meals.” The conversation was carried on quietly as you opened your eyes and looked around. It seems like they had set up a camp right where you had fallen. You were laying on your bedroll, covered with your blanket along with Twilight’s pelt. It was warm, too warm for the spring air. The rest of the group were sat around the fire Wild was cooking at or talking amongst themselves on their own bedrolls. You sat up slowly, letting the too-warm blankets fall from you.

“Y/N?” Hyrule called from somewhere to your right. You looked to him. He had a soft smile on his face, trying hard to conceal the worry underneath. “I’m glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?” He made his way over to you and sat on his knees next to you.

You shrugged, “I’m okay. I’m sorry that happened. I don’t know why I did that.”

He shook his head, putting a hand on your leg, “Don’t be sorry. We all figured it was the portal. As long as you’re okay that’s what matters.” He gently squeezed your leg before standing and offering you a hand. “Let’s get you something to eat. It will help whatever left over feelings you may have.” He pulled you up and held your hand as you walked to the fire.

“Oh, you’re up!” Wild exclaimed, wrapping his non-cooking arm around your legs from where he sat.

“How are you feeling, love?” Warriors asked, concern plastered across his brow.

“I’m okay. Just hungry now.”

“Well then come sit and let’s get something in your stomach. Wild says dinner will be done soon.” Warriors moved over on his log to make room for you. You crossed the group and sat next to him, Hyrule taking a place next to your legs on the grass.

Time looked at you hard from a few seats over, “Are you sure you’re alright? You gave us all a scare there.”

You nodded again, “I’m sure. I think I was in a bit of shock is all.”

“From the portal?” Four asked the question with a hint of confusion in his tone.

You sighed, “No, not from the portal.”

“Come on, you couldn’t have been that attached to the merchant.” Wind laughed out, causing everyone to shoot a glare his way.

“No, no it wasn’t leaving Ravio.” You looked down into the cooking pot, watching the venison simmer.

“Then what is it, darlin’? You cain’t just leave us all in wonderin’ after that.” Twilight asked.

You felt your nails dig into your other hand as you spoke up, “This is my home.”

A silence fell.

.

.

.

.

.

“What’s his name.” Legend’s words weren’t a question.

“Legend-“ Warriors began.

“I’ve already told you that if we ever ended back up here, I was taking care of it. What’s his name.”

Your shoulders gave in a bit, not answering.

“If you don’t tell me I will find out myself, Y/N. He’s going to pay for what he did to you.” Legend continued, his eyes now baring a hole into you.

“Legend. That’s enough.” Time’s voice carried across to the other man.

“No, no it’s not. I’m going to find that bastard an-“

“Please. Please, stop.” A cry came from your throat. Warriors put an arm around you, pulling you into him. The chain’s eyes cycling between you and Legend.

He stood, “I’m taking first watch. I’ll eat later.” He made his way into the trees before he was out of view.

You steadied your breathing, trying to comprehend the situation.

“We aren’t going to do anything we were asked not to do.” Four spoke.

You nodded against Warriors side. “Thank you.”

“I hate what he did as much as the next, but I’m not going to go against your wishes.” Sky explained, his hand gripping into tight fists.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you get hurt again. I intent to follow through with that.” Hyrule looked up at you from his place on the ground, a soft smile on his lips. You pulled away from Warriors for a moment to meet the smile, running your hands over the mark on your hand.

You sat up, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “My village is just beyond the tree line. It won’t take long to get there from where we are. I know the woods well enough to get there in the daylight.”

Time nodded, “We can leave in the morning then. If you aren’t comfortable being in the town, we can camp. But we will need to go into town to get supplies occasionally.”

You shook your head, “No, I’ll be fine. My family home is outside of the town a bit. And besides, I have y’all. Who is going to bother me when I have my own personal attack dogs?” Twilight shook his head, holding back a small smile and Warriors bumped your side.

“That’s right! Nobody’s gonna fuck with you!” Wind shouted. Sky hit the back of his head causing an argument.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

You headed the group beside Time, leading the way through the woods. Your earlier guess was right, it was spring. Small colorful flowers littered the forest ground and occasional large white pedals would fall from trees.

“It won’t be much farther from here. I think we should cut through town and go to my family home. I’ll talk to my mother and see if we can all stay there.” Time agreed.

“If it’s a burden we can stay at the inn. It was plenty big to fit us all last time we were here.” His armor clanking as he walked kept a steady rhythm.

“Time?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Hmm?”

“I never got to tell my mother, brother or grandmother goodbye. I probably just disappeared in their eyes. And it’s been over a year now. I’m worried what’s going to happen when they see me.” Your hand brushed his but you decided not to grab it.

“I think they will be glad to see you home and safe. I’m sure they have been worried, but those worries are going to end soon.” He looked down at you, giving you a small smile. Something else hid behind his eye. Was it regret?

“I guess you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?” He chuckled a bit before you bumped his side. He snatched your hand up in his own, bringing it to his lips. “We’ll be right there with you.”

The village was soon in view. Thatched roofs and brick walls sticking out through the trees. Music carried through the main street, falling out of a pub full of day drinkers. Warriors elbowed Legend and made a small comment about them visiting later as the group walked by. Paper lanterns of all different shapes and sizes hung over head. Blowing in the breeze of the morning. Fresh bread sat out on a small cart next to an open door to a bakery, the sweet smell filling your senses. The group finally made it to the other end of town and to a small split in the roads.

“The village is very homey. I forgot how much I liked it.” Sky noted.

You nodded, smiling. “It is. I really do love it here.” Time’s hand tightened on yours as you veered left in the road.

“I can see why. It reminds me of Hateno.” Wild smiled as he spoke.

“And Hateno reminds me of here. They’re similar in a lot of ways I think.” The road lead back into the forest, though this time not as thick. A small clearing soon came, light shining onto a small cabin. Smoke came from the top of it. In the side of it stood a target with nearly a dozen arrows sticking out of it. Many right on the mark. So he has gotten better.

You took in a deep breath, removing your hand from Time’s as they followed you to the door. You let out another breath before reaching for the handle. The door opened before you could do it.

“I’ve told you a million times to clean up your damn mess outside, son! I will not have arrows layin’ around everywhere you hea-“ The woman turned to face the open door and dropped the basket of clothing from her hands.

“Hi, mom.” You stuttered out. She enveloped you in a hug. Soft sobs coming from her as she held you to her.

“Mom, I’ll clean them up later. Do you need help carrying that out or something?” The younger boy came around the corner to see the two of you in the doorway. “Y/N?” His voice caught as he ran to the two of you, wrapping both of you in his arms as his own tears began to fall. When had he gotten so tall?

The three of you sank to the ground together, rocking and crying for a few moments before the woman pulled away. She put your face into her hands, staring through her glassy eyes as if she was seeing the dead walk. “It really is you.” She whispered out. “I- I thought-“

“But it’s okay. I’m here.” You covered one of her hands with your own, wiping her tears with your other.

“Y/N, we thought you were dead.” The young man spoke, his voice cracking. You looked to him with your own tears.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you like that. It wasn’t my choice.” You moved your hand to the boy’s face, wiping his tears as well. “Come on, lets get inside and I’ll explain everything.” You slowly stood, helping your mom to her feet.

“Y/N, I’m sorry to ask. But who are all of these people?” Your brother was giving the chain a hard look over.

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit. Then stopped suddenly. How am I supposed to introduce my eight boyfriends and adopted brother?

“These are my, um.” You looked around, trying to meet their eyes for support. Wild’s thumbs up was all you got in response. You took yet another deep breath. No point in lying.

“Mom, Jayco. These are my traveling companions.” You stepped towards them, intending to introduce them all. “This is Time, he’s my boyfriend.” You notice Time react to that but ignore it. Your mom makes a small gasp and your brother snickers. Moving over to Twilight. “This is Twilight. He is also my boyfriend.” Your mom gasps again, this time louder.

“Wait a second, two?” You ignore her.

“This is Four. He’s my boyfriend.” Your mom looks to your brother who has a dumb founded face. You work your way through the chain to Wind.

“And last but not least, this is Wind. He’s basically my little brother at this point.” Your brother shifts awkwardly between his feet at the comment.

“Okay, I see. Well, come on in everyone. There’s not much space but we can make do.” Your mom motioned for everyone to follow her inside.

Legend caught your hand before you could follow. Turning to him, he had a small smile. “That was very brave of you.” You shook your head.

“No, bravery isn’t telling the truth.”

“It’s doing the right thing. And that was the right thing.” He finished, interlacing his fingers with yours and making the way to the front door.

(NEXT)

I will add the AO3 link as soon as it's back up!

[annonniiiiieeeee]

I just love the fact that Usagi gets so nervous after he found out that turtle babies are tiny. I wonder what the rest of the Tenshu gang think/react to Kaida being so tiny. I know the tmnt gang is like it’s just normal, but what is there reactions? I’m guessing Katsuichi’s reaction is just as worried

Part 2

It was early in the afternoon when they finally made it to the Tenshu. Jotaro walked between Usagi and Leo happy to hold onto Usagi’s hand, Leo’s cane was on that side but he would latch onto the fabric tied around it as away to hold on to his Dad as well. Leo had Sakura resting in his hip and Usagi had Ume on his. Kaida was resting in a small pouch around Leo’s chest. They walked though the portal that opened up where it always did now, underneath their tree.

Kitsune and Gen were there waiting for them as the stepped out. “Finally what took you so long Bunny butt?” Gen asked. Ume caught sight to them and imidiatly made grabby hands towards Kitsune. Her godmother quickly moving to pluck her from her Usagi’s arms. She blew a kiss into her niece’s cheek causing the girl to squeal.

“Sorry guys there was a bit of a mishaps this morning.” Leo excused their late arrival as best he could. They were all suppose to come together, but obviously Leo and Usagi had missed the meeting time. The last thing Leo wanted to do was to tell them why they were late.

Usagi’s worry about their daughter’s small size was endearing. But Kitsune and Gen were just as bad. If they knew that the reason the family was late was because Leo and Usagi thought they lost their youngest the two would lose their minds. Kitsune had already considered tying a ballon around the baby’s waist. Which Depending on how big she was when she started crawling Leo might just have to do that. Gen had wanted to stand guard over the little girl as she was ‘much to small’ to be left alone.

Leo love them, truly he did, he hit the jackpot when it came to in-laws. But he wished they’d calm down about Kaida’s size, he had been the same size once. She also inherited his strength, just as Jotaro had, she was far more durable then her size would have you believe. Not that Leo wanted to put that to the test, but he also didn’t want to over baby his daughter.

He had a feeling it wouldn’t get any better once Katsuichi saw her for the first time.

Speaking of which.

“Jiji!” Jotaro cried letting go of his Tou-san’s hand and running off down the hill. There walked Katsuichi who bent down so Jotaro could run straight into his arms. He picked the boy up and spun him around with a playful roar.

“How are you Lionheart?” Katsuichi asked as he tossed the boy in the air and caught him again. The little bunny was giggling up a storm as the big lion approached his parent. “My boy it’s good to see you.” Katsuichi moved Jotaro to rest on his hip and placed his now free hand on Usagi’s shoulder.

“It’s good to see you to Sensei.” Usagi smiled and gave his old master a respectful bow. Sakura started reaching for the lion as soon as he was in sight. Katsuichi turned to face her and Leo with a smile.

“Hello Blossom.” He said as he gently lowered Jotaro down so he could pluck Sakura from Leo’s arms. “Good to see you to Leo-kun.” He smiled at his son-in-law who returned the smile. Leo watched as the old lion hugged his daughter close placing a kiss on her head. “Now where is your sister?” Sakura pointed over at Ume who was still sitting happily in Kitsune’s arms. Katsuichi smiled at the girl and moved over to place a kiss on her forehead as well. “Hello Petals.” He knew better then to separate the little girl from her godmother. He would wait his turn to hold her.

Katsuichi gently handed Sakura off to Gen before turning to face the two parents. “So where’s my new granddaughter?” He was worried when he didn’t see the little one immediately. He had worried about their delay all day. After the twins had been born there had been some health complications. Leo had said that the girls had come a little early and just need extra care. He hadn’t seen them in almost six months after they left. He knew that the children’s health came first, he would never argue that. But he did miss his family terrible when they left. He had been thinking of retiring in Leo’s world so he could be closer to his children and grandchildren.

He still had yet to meet the newest. When he didn’t see a baby or a baby sling as he knew the boys had worn with the others, he started to grow worried. What if their delay this morning was to drop Kaida off as she had gotten sick like the twins had. No Leo and Usagi never would have left her if that were true. But then where was his granddaughter. He was more then happy with the first three children being here, but he really wanted to meet the newest member of their family.

Leo smiled at him and reached in to a little strap across his chest. It was far to small to hold a baby. Then Leo pulled his hand out and resting in his palm was the smallest little baby Katsuichi had ever seen.

He leaned down close to the little turtle unable to process what he was seeing. She was small, fitting in Leo’s palm well. They had put a little yellow bow around her waist. The little girl yawned and blinked her eyes open. She had Usagi’s ruby red eyes. Katsuichi knew some people found the color creepy but to him his boy’s eyes had always been warm and inquisitive. His daughters eyes were much the same as she blinked up at him. She then reached out and patted his nose with her little hand.

Just like that Katsuichi knew he would burn villages to the ground for her. Just as he would for his other grandchildren.

“Do you want to hold her?” Usagi had moved to stand at Katsuichi’s side also staring down at his littlest girl. Katsuichi nodded and held his hands up cupping them together to make sure she had a stable place to rest. Usagi gently picked his daughter up from Leo’s hand and transferred her over to Katsuichi.

The little turtle chirped up at him, before snuggling into his hands.” His heart melted.

“She does the same thing to Usagi-chan. My guess is it’s because you’re warm blooded and she’s cold blooded. The warmth from your hands feels nice.” Leo explained watching his daughter find a new napping spot.

“She’s so small.” Katsuichi whisper in awe drawling her close to his face.

“That’s what I said.” Gen agreed as he held Sakura close. “Strips, you sure she wasn’t early to?” He asked. He was worried that Kaida was to small for her age but he had no frame of reference for turtles. He just knew she was to small.

Leo sighed. “I’m sure, she’s perfectly healthy. She’ll catch up with her siblings in no time. Dad said by the time we were two we were the average size of a toddler if not slightly bigger.” Leo explained to Gen again.

“She’s so small.” Katsuichi repeated looking at the sleeping turtle in his hands. He looked up quickly at Leo and Usagi. “What happens if you lose her?”

Leo chocked on air. Well if they hadn’t answered that question this morning. Unfortunately Usagi chocked at the exact same moment giving them away.

Katsuichi’s head snapped up to look at both of them. “You already lost her.” He said it in a whisper as if horrified, and to be fair to him, Leo would be to if he didn’t have context to the story.

“You lost her!” Gen let out on an angry huff.

“When did this happen?” Kitsune questioned them. Both parties stepped closer holding the twins closer as the did so. Jotaro who had been standing beside Leo shuffled to hide behind his legs. Griping onto his pant leg for comfort. Leo reached his hand down to rest comfortingly on the boys head.

“We didn’t lose her.” Leo started to explain. He was keeping his voice calm for Jotaro’s sake as he didn’t want the boy to feel like anyone was mad at him.

“Then what happened?” That was Gen. Straight to the point and blunt. Leo knew he wasn’t trying to be combative, he just had a gruff way of putting things and always wanted his loved ones safe, so he tried to not let the tone get under his skin.

“This morning when I went to go get her, she wasn’t in her bassinet.” Usagi began to explain.

Leo picked up the story, giving Jotaro’s ears a ruffle as he did. “You all know how much Jotaro-chan loves his sisters.” There was a subtle nod from the group of adults in front of them. “Well he decided he wanted to help us out this morning by getting Kaida-chan for us.” Leo smiled down at his son who gave a shy smile back.

Usagi looked over at them fondly as he continued the story. “He just didn’t tell us what he was doing. So when I went to go get her I thought she was lost.”

“Not lost.” Leo reassured the group. “Just on an adventure with her big brother.” Jotaro’s shy face poked out from behind Leo to look at the group in front of them. Kitsune awed while Gen and Katsuichi let out a laugh. Now that there was context the whole story was rather adorable then horrifying as they initially worried.

“That’s our Lionheart always there for his family.” Katsuichi said smiling down at the small boy. Jotaro ran forward to hug his leg tilting his head up to beam at his Jiji. Katsuichi carefully handed Kaida to Usagi before scooping up the little boy again. “Well we should head inside. We were all quite worried at your delay this morning though I do understand it.” Katsuichi said smiling at the young parents. “But Lord Mifune and Lord Noriyuki have been anxiously awaiting your arrival.” Translation Lord Mifune wanted to see his grandnephew and grandnieces, and Lord Noriyuki wanted to see his big brother Leo and his children.

The family started making their way towards the Tenshu. It was almost lunch time so it was a perfect time to gather everyone together. Usagi watched as his family walked ahead. His children in the arms of his siblings and father. He held his youngest close to his chest and took Leo’s hand with his free one. They shared a smile and a quick kiss before following behind their family.

It was the start of a wonderful visit.

[nriacc]

I Wanna Be Yours | NRIACC: Alex’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100​​

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 25.2k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger​ and @sunsetinmyvein​ for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon​ and @alovesreading​, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

| Series Masterlist | N’s Masterlist | NRIACC Playlists | The Band’s Info | Read on Wattpad | Read on AO3 |

~*~*~*~ June 2020 ~*~*~*~

That night Alex came to get you was a turning point for you. You found this new way of living extremely less difficult with your best friend by your side.

When he got to your flat that night, he held you whilst you cried and he didn’t let you go until your tears dried up and he got you smiling again. You're sure it was the relief to be back in his arms that made you get more upset when he arrived.

It must have been the silent longing for him for those 3 months alone that had you not wanting to let go of him. It was a miracle you released him so he could help you pack up a few of your things to take to Alex’s house with you.

Your best friend assured you that you could both come back and grab more of your stuff at a later date but he wanted to get you back to his house so you could be comfortable. And that night he remembers you clutching him so tightly when he practically carried you into his bedroom and you held him even in your sleep.

That was the only night you slept in his bed, but you did have a lot of quiet cuddles every day where you just held him close and didn’t let him go. The only time you left him alone was when you both went to bed and even then Alex was sure that you weren’t having an easy time trying to sleep.

At the start you were quieter and you didn’t smile anywhere near as much as Alex was used to. You spent a lot of time sleeping or just lying in bed staring into space and it worried Alex so much, he ended up doing what you once did to him. He made you go on a walk with him.

Your best friend wouldn’t tell you where you were going and he found it amusing as you tried your best to pry it out of him but he refused. But your afternoon out in the boiling sun turned out to be one of your favourite days this year.

Alex took the both of you into his local shop so you could both get a meal deal and a few snacks and treats before he walked you to a specific spot in his local park. And he was right in thinking you’d love it. Your face lit up when you saw the huge cherry blossom tree and the both of you had your impromptu picnic underneath it before spending the next few hours there.

You finally got your smile back that day and Alex was so thankful to see it. And since he had seen a slow but steady improvement in you every day.

The morning after your picnic, Alex came downstairs to find you sitting at the dining room table and you were drawing again. Nothing had ever warmed his heart more, and he didn’t want to distract you at all so all he did was quickly go to the kitchen and make you a cup of coffee.

When he brought it to you, he placed a kiss on the back of your head and he sat down beside you and watched you work. He was so enamoured by you, he could have carried on watching you for hours, but instead he went and made the both of you a nice breakfast.

And since then, you always started your morning that way. You finally got your spark back and you started to feel so much better in yourself, and you owed that all to Alex.

Days were happier and somehow easier for you in this weird time of self isolation but when you snuggled into your best friend's arms every night whilst you watched a film on the settee, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Alex was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

Since you actually got inspired to be creative again, you and Alex ventured back to your flat to grab a few of your painting and drawing stuff and you’ve been feeling more like your old self again. And now a few weeks have passed, you’ve almost run out of room with how much stuff you’ve been making, you’re definitely going to have to make a trip back to your flat to leave some stuff there so Alex can have his house back.

Not that you intend to leave because you really don’t. You don’t want to be anywhere else than by your best friend's side.

You think that in the last few weeks, you and Alex have been closer than you ever have been, in a platonic way anyway. Although, your feelings towards him really aren’t all that platonic anymore.

There had been a lot of flirty banter between the two of you since you started living together, and each time it happened it left you with the feeling of butterflies in your stomach and your cheeks heating up. You always tried to bite your cheek to stop yourself from smiling like a fucking idiot when he flirts with you.

It sometimes makes it difficult if you’re cuddling on the settee under the same blanket because all you want to do is hide under it and grin like a lunatic. But you can’t because you don’t want him to know just how much he affects you.

And the only reason you didn’t want to put it all out in the open was because you were worried about what Alex would think. You weren’t sure if he was flirting with you because that's just how the two of you act around each other or because he is actively flirting.

So you’d kept your feelings to yourself for a while in hopes that you’d get some sort of sign. But last night when you got in the bed in his guest room instead of creeping into Alex’s like you so desperately want to, you decided you’d tell your best friend at some point the next day.

The both of you had let yourselves lose your brief moments in time together because you didn’t communicate properly. And you’re grown up enough now not to let that happen again. So you decided in bed that you were going to tell your best friend about your feelings for him.

And when you woke up this morning, knowing that at some point today you were going to tell him made you feel lighter somehow. Yes you’re nervous, but if worse comes to worst and he actually doesn’t like you that way anymore at least you’ve told your truth. And you’ll live the rest of your life knowing you did give it one last shot.

The hardest part of today has been not knowing when to bring it up, because you can’t really just say it out of the blue. It didn’t feel right. You didn’t want it to be an ‘i need to talk to you moment’, you wanted it to be an anxious free and healthy reveal of something instead of causing him to get anxious and possibly awkward with you.

But it looks like you might have to resort to that, because no conversation has taken any of that direction today. Alex has been reading for most of the day and you decided to paint some more as the both of you listened to music. Nothing sparked that sort of conversation though even over dinner so you just tried to stay calm and positive about it.

Now it’s the evening though and both of you got so wrapped up in your little words that you’d missed tea and it was too late for you to cook. So, you ordered yourselves a take out so you could chill out whilst you watched Glastonbury reruns, as the festival was obviously cancelled this year.

You watched Adele’s the night before and you both really enjoyed that. And now, after you both finished your food, you’re sitting next to each other as you polish off a bottle of wine between you, all while singing along and having a blast.

You’d just finished watching David Bowie's set from 2000 and you’d been waiting for Ed Sheeran’s headline set to start, and when it did you were both enthralled.

You have your legs over Alex’s lap and you're both resting your heads back against the settee aimlessly watching Ed’s magic that he makes on guitar. And your heart is warm by the way Alex's hand keeps running soothingly up and down your legs.

Ed has just finished his medley of songs and it’s so fucking amazing to you how he does all of what he does on a guitar and his loop pedals.

“God, he’s so amazing.” You say as your shiver slightly hearing the applause. “I’ve got proper goosebumps watching him.”

“Not you again with the goosebumps.” Alex chuckles a little and shakes his head.

“Look at my arms.” You smile and show him your arm which like you said, your skin is raised and full of goosebumps.

“You need to get a grip.” Alex smiles playfully and shoves your arm back.

You fake a frown and tell your best friend in half a giggle, “Don’t be nasty. I was like that for both of your sets.”

“Mmmm,” Alex thinks about it for a moment but ultimately he shakes his head, “Don’t believe you.”

“Well you know what Alex, I couldn’t just interrupt your set by running on stage to show you.” You laugh and you love the way he grins back at you. You also add, “And if they put your full one on from 2013 on iPlayer I would show you, but no BBC are dickheads.”

“Yeah, well,” Your best friend chuckles but defends, “I can't really say much, they have given us a pretty good platform in the past.”

“You're allowed to slag people off in private Alex, who am I gunna tell?” You grin, paying attention to only his bright eyes and his goofy smile.

Your best friend laughs, “Alright, alright.”

The both of you start watching the performance again and Ed’s just started singing Photograph which is one of your favourites. You both listen for a while but when it gets to the chorus you shiver again hearing everyone in the crowd sing the lyrics back to him.

And you can’t stop the question from leaving your lips to the man next to you who knows exactly what it’s like.

“Is there any way to describe that feeling?” You have to ask, because you remember being astounded hearing the crowd singing back to Alex at his Glastonbury. “Or is it as magical as it looks?”

You tilt your head to the side to look at him. Alex takes a deep breath as he thinks back to it and you watch him patiently as he finds his words.

“It's the best experience ever.” Alex looks at you and tells you honestly, “Nothing like it and I don’t think anything could ever beat it.”

You smile at that and it warms your heart.

“I’m so proud of you.” You quietly say, grabbing his hand that lay unmoving on your thigh

“Only just now?” Alex teases, lacing your fingers together.

You playfully glare at him then and nudge him, correcting him, “You know I’ve always been proud of you.”

Alex tries to hide his smile but he fails miserably and nods, “Yeah, I do.”

Instead of paying attention to the TV, you look at each other with smiles on your faces and you end up watching each other like that for a short while.

But then the both of you feel it. That pull between you again. The one that’s been happening every night you’ve been cuddled together. Or when the both of you are cooking together. Or go out on walks together. There’s always that spark and that pull between you, but this time you can’t ignore it.

You're both just listening to the music in the background and enjoying your view of the others resting on the settee looking into beautiful eyes.

You close your eyes and release a breath which Alex watches you do. He can’t help but think it’s like you’re mentally preparing yourself for something.

Your eyes open back up and you bite your lip for a second before almost whispering “Can I kiss you?”

That isn’t what Alex was expecting you to say at all. But he doesn’t hesitate like the first time you’d ever asked him that question, instead he just nods and watches you closely.

You pick your head up from the settee and slowly move towards him before you attach your lips to his. Despite your lips tingling the second they touch his, you know that this is just something to test the waters for a few seconds.

You can tell Alex isn’t really putting himself forward for it which you understand. He wants to see how you'd react to it.

The kiss starts slow as you really don't want to rush it at all. You aren’t after what you were last year. You’re so far past the need for him in just that sense. You just want to see if there truly is still a connection between you.

You need to know if it’s just your mind playing tricks on you or if it’s actually real feelings towards him. And from the way your heart is rapidly beating in your chest, you can tell they are genuine feelings.

Alex kisses you back with as much enthusiasm as you give, but he makes a conscious effort not to pull you to him when he’s wanting more. He needs you to direct this, for his own clarity.

And he’s thankful you are doing, because you cup the side of his face and pull him closer to you as you deepen the kiss. You feel like you’re trying to get all of your emotions out in this kiss, like you’re trying to tell him something without actually telling him.

And Alex definitely is reciprocating. After a few minutes, both of your breathing becomes laboured. You’re both so into it that it shocks you when Alex pulls away, both of you breathing hard and hearts beating rapidly.

Alex’s brain is going haywire, he’s surprised you can’t hear it screaming at him. But his biggest insecurity is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.

Your best friend runs a hand through his hair as he looks like he’s fighting with his own mind when he looks into your eyes and says quietly, “I can’t do this if you’re gunna go back to him.

You shake your head, your chest sinking at the mere thought that Alex would even think that. But at the same time you understand, so you don’t hesitate to assure him.

“I don’t want him like that,” You promise him, as you really haven’t thought about Matty like that for a long time. “He’s just my best friend.”

Alex looks stressed as he reminds you, “I’m just your best friend.”

“No,” You state simply, “You’re not.”

And he hasn’t been for a long time. There’s always been that ache in your chest that has you wanting something more with Alex. And you wish you could let him feel exactly what you’re feeling to show him.

Your best friend is clearly shocked and he almost looks like he’s trying to wake himself up from a dream. He can’t believe his ears or believe that you just kissed him again.

“I can’t do this if it’s only a one night thing either. Don’t get me wrong, last time was amazing but we shouldn’t have done it. It just made me more attached.” Alex rambles on, getting all of his thoughts and feelings out into the open. “I don’t want you as some now and again girl. That’s not what you are to me.”

“I like you Al. A lot.” You cup his face to try and ground him to the moment and you smile as you spill your truth, “Like you hurt to think about. And even after everything I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your best friend loses his breath when he hears you say that. And he can’t help but repeat what he thinks he heard you say, “You like me?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks like he wants to cry when he quietly asks you, “You like me how I like you?”

“I’m fairly certain that I love you Alex.” You grin, putting it all out there for him.

Some mixture of relief and shock floods Alex’s whole system then and you see it hit him. He holds his breath for a few seconds and he has to close his eyes and he’s holding your hand so tightly, you don’t even think he’s aware he has a hold of you.

When you see those beautiful brown eyes of his again a second later, you see him try and fail to find his words as emotions run through him. But then you see his lips turn up into a smile and he begins to stutter, “I- I, wow. I l-“

And you know what he’s about to say but you quickly put your finger over his lips to stop him.

“If you're about to say it because I just have, please don’t. Save it until you mean it, until you really want to say it.” You smile, but it’s like you’ve just got everything off your chest, you feel free saying them out loud, “I just can’t hold it anymore, I’m sick of hiding it now.”

Alex chuckles and you’re sure his eyes are getting a little watery but you can’t tell if it’s just pure and utter joy and elation that’s making him look like that. He takes another few deep breaths and it’s as if his throat has choked up and he’s trying not to cry.

You realise that’s exactly the case when he quietly asks you with a strained voice, “Me? Are you sure?”

You grin and nod, “It's always been you, Alex.”

You briefly see your best friends smile before your lips are brought down to meet it. Both of you can’t really stop smiling as you kiss each other, which is funny and cute all at the same time. You feel like you could burst with the happiness that you’re feeling, but the fact that Alex is kissing you like you could disappear at any moment, makes you think that he might not be fully believing it's happening.

The past is clearly playing on his mind, because when you pull away from the sweet kiss he lets those final insecurities out.

“How can you possibly want something with me after everything I’ve said and done?” He asks you after you pull away.

He’s still emotional, you can see it and hear it in his voice and you want nothing more than to ease his worries. You’ll do everything in your power to show him just how serious you are though, and you’ll happily spend the rest of your life doing it if he wants the same.

“A relationship is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. And I’m not ready to give up on you Al.” You smile as you gently stroke his cheek, “I won’t ever give up on you if you won’t give up on me.”

Alex smiles at that, and he moves his head to the side to kiss your palm before he says a quiet, “Never.” and that has you melting.

“This is it for me.” You promise him, “If you want this, I’m all in. I’m all yours. I’m going to marry you one day.”

Your smile is practically lighting up the whole room for Alex. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so happy and he can’t believe that he’s the cause of it. Alex smiles and chuckles in disbelief, he’s still not fully sure he’s not dreaming. But he just has to ask you one last time, “Are you sure you want this?”

“More than anything.” You nod, giving him the briefest kiss before you tell him again, “I love you.”

Alex grins at that but then he brings his hands up to hide his face and he whispers, “I think I’m going to cry.”

You chuckle, “Don’t cry.” as you pull his hands down so you can see his handsome face again, but when you do you see there’s actual tears in his eyes. “Darling don't cry…” but then he closes his eyes so you can’t see so you tell him, “Shakespeare, look at me.”

When he opens his gorgeous eyes again, you see that they have fully teared up now which makes you want to cry too. “No, stop with the tears, you’ll get me going.”

“All I’ve wanted for so long was to hear you say that you love me.” Alex’s voice cracks at the end of that and he barely gets out, “And you just said it.”

You nod, “Yeah, I did,”

He must tune back into your surroundings for a second because he then gestures towards the TV and laughs as he shakes his head, “And Ed fucking Sheeran is on in the background.”

You giggle at this, nodding as you realise that the end of him playing Nancy Mulligan is on in the background. This really isn’t how you imagined this moment playing out at all, but you’re so happy, you don't really care.

You just laugh, confirming, “Ed Sheeran’s on in the background.”

Alex reaches forwards and holds your face then, both hands cupping your cheeks and he gently strokes them with his thumbs as he tries to take in the moment properly. “Can you say it again?” He asks quietly as a tear falls, “Please.”

You have the biggest grin on your face as you tell him, “I love you, Alex.”

His whole face lights up with the sweetest and most innocent smile then. One that’s overcome with so much adoration and joy, it warms your soul. And when you see him go to say it back, you stop him, “I-“

“No,” You put your finger over his lips, “Don’t tell me today.”

He frowns at you a little then, “But I lo-”

You stop him again, already knowing he wants to say it back and in your heart you know he probably wants to scream it at you, but you want him to tell you when he can’t hold it back any longer, like you’ve been like today. You nod as you smile, “I know, but don’t tell me today. Tell me when you desperately want to tell me.”

“I’m desperate now.” Alex laughs a little, feeling his chest burst with the emotions you’re telling him he’s not allowed to get out just yet.

“I know, but please tell me on a day when it overwhelms you so much it hurts not to tell me.” You ask him, in hopes that he could do it. You explain, “That’s how I’ve been feeling for days. I had to tell you today.”

“You’ve wanted to tell me all day and you’ve waited till now? Christ Angel, it’s almost midnight.” He laughs, and his grin is so big that you’re trying your best to take a mental picture of how gorgeous he looks right now. He strokes your cheek as he asks, “What games are you playing?”

“Absolutely none,” You laugh, “I just love you and I needed to tell you.”

Alex giggles at that, still not fully believing he’s wide awake and this is real life. He’s so beyond happy, he really doesn’t have the words to tell you, especially if you won’t let him say it back just yet.

So your best friend does the one thing that he knows that after what’s just been said, you won’t deny him. He pleads with the biggest smile on his face, “Kiss me?”

You chuckle before you ask, “Thought I was the one that asks that?”

“If you’re mine, you don’t need to ask anymore, Angel.” Alex grins.

“I’m all yours, Shakespeare.” You promise him before you kiss him again.

This kiss feels like it seals the deal. It’s your confirmation that you’re his and he’s yours and your heart is bursting with all the love you have for him and the elation you’re feeling that he wants to give you another go.

You’re feeling euphoric and you know from the way Alex is pouring his heart into this kiss that he is too. He’s still holding your face so that you couldn’t even escape it if you tried, you know he needs this just as much as you.

You’re unsure if you’re only kissing for a few minutes, or if ten end up passing. All you know is that you’re so in love with your best friend, who has quite possibly just become your boyfriend, that you never really wanted it to end. And just when you thought it was about to, Alex bites your bottom lip and brings you back in for another one because he really can’t let you go just yet.

It makes you shiver like it has done every time he’s ever done it, but you knew that was another little nod back to the first time he’d ever done it. You’re thankful he’s always remembered how much you love it and you fully intend to let him kiss you and bite your lip whenever he wants from now on.

Even when your kiss did come to an end, the moment didn’t.

Foreheads resting against each other whilst both of you let your grins free. Your noses playfully nudging the others back and forth in cute eskimo kisses has you quietly giggling, and you keep whispering to your best friend that you love him.

It’s certainly the best night of Alex’s life, and he can’t wait until you let him say it back to you because he is dying to. He loves you so much. And he’s let that love slowly consume him again every moment you’ve had together since that night he came back to you. And he never ever wants to let you go again.

Even when you finally put each other down, you cuddle yourself right into him and Alex holds you tightly and every few seconds he’s kissing your head. Both of you are only half listening to the end of the 2017 Glastonbury set now because you’re just too focused on the mutual love you have for one another and how it feels like it could pour out of your chests.

But one song does grab both of your attention, and it’s when Alex takes your hand as he hears you humming along to the tune of Ed singing, ‘Now I have met an Angel in person, and she looks perfect, I don’t deserve it but she looks perfect tonight.’ that Alex lets out a short laugh.

You look up at your best friend as he sighs as he gestures to the TV, “That’s gunna be our wedding song now and we’ll be the most basic couple on earth.”

That makes you burst out laughing despite it now probably being true. It’s a stunning song and it says Angel in it, and now it’ll always remind you of tonight. But you’re just grinning like a fool because he’s practically said that he wants to marry you.

You lean up to kiss him again and you whisper against his lips, “I love you Shakespeare.” and he hums the words back to you as he kisses you which has your heart melting.

You love each other with so much of your hearts that none is left to protest.

~*~*~*~

Much to Alex’s dismay, you’ve still not let him tell you that he loves you yet and it’s almost been a week. It’s on the tip of his tongue and you seem to know every time he’s about to say tell you and you stop him from doing so. The only time he’s managed to get it out without you stopping him is when you’re asleep and he has half a mind to wake you up just to tell you.

But he gets why you want him to wait to say it. He remembers that tragic day after the night he got drunk years ago where he just needed to tell you that he loved you so he could try and fix things between you. He couldn’t get the words off his tongue like you couldn’t the night you told him, but thankfully the context was extremely different this time.

And Alex has no intentions to fuck things up between you ever again. The morning after you told him you loved him, you both talked a little bit and you decided there and then that you were official. You’re finally his girlfriend, and Alex is so beyond happy he can call his angel his own.

Truthfully, neither of you have ever been happier despite the fact you’re in the middle of a pandemic. The days together and finally getting to be how you’ve desperately wanted to be with each other really make everything better. You have each other now and you’re never going back to how it was before.

It was always going to be impossible for the two of you to just be best friends. There’s always been something more. And now you get to experience and live whatever that something more brings you both, and Alex will forever be thankful that you made the move to tell him you loved him.

Each day since, you’ve been so happy. He loves seeing you smiling and being all bright eyed and creative. It’s one of the things he really loves about you, and he can’t wait to tell you each and every way he loves you when you finally let him say it back.

Alex woke up alone this morning, which isn’t an issue but it’s the first time since you got back together that you haven’t had a lie in with him. But your best friend, now boyfriend, knows you’re an early riser and he can’t have you tucked away in bed all the time like he wants.

He’s just glad he woke up a little earlier sometimes and got to cuddle you whilst you were still half asleep.

Alex doesn’t have to worry at all as he knows you’ve not gone too far because he can hear the music you're playing downstairs. So because he’s that much of a simp and can’t spend a long time without you these days, he quickly gets himself washed and dressed before he comes downstairs.

The instant he sees you, there’s a smile on his face and it just gets bigger as he sees you dancing to the riff of the song you have on as you cook. When you finish singing the chorus, Alex watches as you dance to the instrumental part of the song and when the drums kick back in you start jumping around having a really good time.

He can’t stop himself from watching you and grinning. But just before the song kicks back in, Alex makes his presence known and he says over the music, “Morning Angel.”

You spin around to see him leaning against the wall with a grin on his face, clearly having a great time watching you. But then the lyrics come back and you point at him and start singing the song to him, “You look so cool, standing there.”

You walk towards him quickly, the smile sticking on your face now as you hook your finger into his belt loops and pull him towards you, “With your baggy jeans,” and you run your hands up through his hair, “And silky hair.”

Both of you grinning at each other, you wrap both your arms around his neck and carry on singing, “We can live for nothing baby, I don't care. Lose me like the ocean, feel the motion.”

And you make him move to the beat of the music as you sing the chorus to him at the top of your lungs after you give him a quick kiss, “I’ll be the sea honey, always always, and you’ll be the tide.”

You’re giggling like fools in love when you carry on dancing as you sing the outro. And when Heather stops singing, you pull your man down by his hair and you kiss him sweetly.

You can’t stop the smiles on your faces but being unable to stop smiling as you kiss each other really isn’t unknown between you anymore. It’s all you’ve been doing this past week.

After The Tide by Pale Waves finishes, Alex is smiling down at you as he asks, “What’s got you all happy?”

“I woke up next to you.” Your eyes are bright as you keep him close and tell him about your day so far, “The sun is shining. I'm feeling creative, I’ve already finished one poem and painting this morning. The day is good.”

Alex kisses you again then and he hums against your lips before he pulls away to say, “Let go of me so I can see the painting?”

You smile and do as you’re asked. You let him go and go back over to the hob so you can finish making the both of you breakfast as you tell him, “It's on the easel by the back door.”

After a few minutes, you feel his arms wrap around you from behind as you plate up both of your Full English’s for your brunch.

“My girlfriend is so talented it injures me.” Alex says as he leans around you to kiss your temple.

Whilst you think he’s very cute to say you’re talented, you decide to tease him for saying it injures him, “Maybe you and your fragile masculinity should write another album then.”

Alex’s jaw drops a little which makes your facade break. You giggle and lean back into him, “I’m joking, I’m joking.”

“Next year maybe.” Alex tells you after kissing his way up from your shoulder to your neck, “Focus on everything usthis year.”

You hum in agreement, and you turn in his arms as you tell him, “Sounds like a great idea.” and you quickly kiss him before you pat his chest, “Come on, let's eat.”

Brunch was delicious, as your cooking always is and both of you sat at the dining room table whilst you ate. The both of you chatted about the morbid news that the world is experiencing and the latest Covid figures that the government has released and you both wonder how the fuck the world is going to get out of the state that its in for a while.

But, the two of you are no help to anyone. You’re just hoping that Charlie is still doing okay as he is still on the frontline with all of this. It reminds you that you need to call Y/B/F today and actually have a proper lengthy conversation so you can make sure she’s alright.

When you get up from the table to put the plates in the dishwasher (you wouldn’t let Alex do it), your boyfriend finds himself longingly looking at the leather bound diary that contains all of your secrets. It reminds him of just how much he would love to read any poem of yours. He really hopes you’ll let him one day, even if it's years from now when you’re married and going grey, he really hopes you’ll let him.

Curiosity gets the better of Alex and he nods at your diary when you come back into the room, “Did you say you wrote a poem this morning?”

“I did.” You smile brightly at him, the sun hitting your face from the window making your skin have a golden tint to it. You look stunning.

Alex hums acknowledging what you told him, he grins when you walk around the table and sit on his lap instead of your chair. Stealing a quick kiss from you makes Alex smile and he also pushes his luck the tiniest bit, asking cheekily as he slides your poetry diary closer to the both of you, “Can I finally read some of these?”

You chuckle at the way he pouts at you, the silent plea on his face is quite amusing. But what is even funnier to you is his reaction to what you say next.  

“You can read them all.” You nod, “But just bare in mind that’s like two decades worth of my feelings.”

Your boyfriend’s jaw falls and his eyes go wide. It clearly takes a second to register because the next thing you know, his eyebrows are furrowed slightly and he asks, “Wait, what?”

“What?” You giggle, finding it quite amusing how shocked he is.

Alex picks up your poem diary properly now and holds it in front of you and asks seriously, “I can read this?”

“I don’t have anything to hide from you anymore.” You nod, confirming he can if he’d like to. And to ease your now clearly anxious boyfriend, your fingers gently play with the hair on the back of his neck, “You’ve been asking since we were teenagers, I think you’ve waited a sufficient amount of time.”

Alex is entirely lost for words. This book that he has seen for the past decade of his life has plagued him as he has been desperate at different moments in time to see what you’ve been scribbling down onto the pages of it. And to finally hear that he can read it without consequence is a real shock to his system.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You nod.

Alex looks at the leather diary then like he’s never opened a book in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. His hesitance makes you smile, but you think for your own sanity if he does want to read it, which you know he does, you need to do something for yourself.

“Before you do.” You get your best friend's attention again and you ask, “Can you please read and process them when I’m not here? I’d rather you take it all in and then you can ask questions afterwards if you have any.”

Alex questions, “Not all sunshines and rainbows then?” and his heart sinks a little as he’s sure of the answer you’re about to give.

“Has my life been all sunshine and rainbows, Al?” You raise an eyebrow but try to keep the mood light.  

“No,” Your boyfriend shakes his head and takes a deep breath before admitting, “And I’ve not helped with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Al.” You tell him, giving him a small smile and you gently stroke his cheek as you tell him, “I love you now because I’ve been through everything you’re about to read.”

Once it’s established that Alex does in fact want to read it, you send off a few texts and when you get responses, you grab a few things before you get yourself ready to head out. And once you’re at the door, you tell Alex what your plan for your day is, “I’m going to go for a long walk, meet up with Adam for a socially distanced chat at the park and then have a nice long talk with Y/B/F whilst you read, okay?”

Alex wraps his arms around your waist and he hides himself into your neck and he kisses it once before offering, “You can stay here if you want? I’ll go out.”

“And you lose my poetry book? Absolutely not.” You giggle a little and you give his hair a little tug so you can give him a kiss. “It’s a nice day, I wanna get out anyway so it kills two birds with one stone.”

“I love you so much.” You kiss him longingly and lovingly, “I’ll see you later.”

“I-” And your best friend tries again.

But you quickly silence him with another kiss and tell him, “Don’t say it until after you’ve read my poems.”

Alex looks hopeful when he asks, “I can say it after?”

“Yeah, I think I've made you wait long enough for that now too.” You grin, loving how excited he is at the thought of saying that he loves you. But you jokingly big yourself up, “Besides, I have a feeling that you’ll be desperate to say it. I have a way with words.”

Alex chuckles at that, but before he lets you go he raises his little finger to you and asks, “Afterwards?”

You smile and hook your little finger around his in a pinky promise, confirming, “Afterwards.”

~*~*~*~

The way Alex’s heart is beating as he paces in front of the settee, which your poetry diary is currently lay on, is frankly concerning considering all of his nerves are being caused by what a pen has written on paper. It’s been 15 minutes since you’ve gone out and Alex hasn’t yet found the courage to open it.

But he realises that he needs to just bite the bullet. He’s been asking to read your poems for so long, he doesn’t want to back out of this now. Alex wants to know the ins and outs of your mind, and this is the closest he’ll ever get to that. So after a few deep breaths, he forces himself to sit down and unwrap the leather diary and he opens it on the first page.

Alex smiles seeing that it's not only your words in this book, you have doodles in there too. Stunning ones, just like all your drawings but these are quirkier and on this page he knows they must be from a long time ago.

On the first page he sees your full name written down, your telephone number which has clearly been updated the few times it’s needed to be. And then you have a bigger note that reads:

If lost: Please call the above number and claim your £5000 reward.

It makes Alex relax a bit reading that because that’s a very you thing to do. He knows that if this book went missing you’d probably pay double that to get it back. And after a deep breath, your boyfriend turns the page to start reading properly and he finds it easier than expected, for now anyway.

After reading a few of your earliest ones, Alex spots the small way you’ve coded out your poems. The date is the first thing at the top of the page, but then in the top right hand corner, you have initials of who the poem is about.

The few he’s read he knows from the initials that there are some about your Mum. Other heartfelt and longing ones about your Dad that almost have Alex tearing up.

There are happy ones too, some that don’t necessarily have initials because they aren’t about anyone in general, they are just about how you’re feeling.

Even reading these from back when you were in high school and college, Alex knows that you’re amazing at what you write in this book. And if your writing was this good when you were half your current age, he knows you must be even better now.

Once Alex figured out your code, he decided that he wants to respect your privacy a little more, so instead of reading everything you’ve written, he searches for his own initials. And your boyfriend stops when he sees the first A.T. in the right corner of your book. Alex sees that you’ve dated it late July 2002 and then he goes on to read:

Thank you for making me

feel things I thought I

never could

It’s short and simple, but Alex knows already that you must have been talking about the night you first slept together then. It sort of hits him all over again just how deeply you clearly felt about the milestone in your lives as he never expected to read you thanking him for it.

Alex flips a few more pages until he stops when he sees a polaroid of you and all the 1975 boys in a swimming pool. You’re all grinning like idiots and he can see that you’ve all signed the bottom of it which is a very you thing to ask all of them to do. But he smiles when he reads the poem on the page the picture is in between.

It’s about him, and about how there’s a trace of him on your neck that you’re getting teased for, but you’re saying it’s all worth it because it’s your reminder of what's waiting for you back home. When Alex looks at the picture again, he can see the faint bruise that he remembers sucking on your neck in Matt’s bedroom all those years ago at that house party. It makes him smile, seeing you look like you did back when you first got together, as you don’t look that much different now. You’re still as beautiful as ever but you’ve matured and grown into your beauty. And you have tattoos now too.

There were a few poems about Alex from that summer, that he finds himself smiling as he reads. But the first one with A.T. in the corner that knocks that smile from his face is one that hits him square in the chest.

Is my timing wrong

or am I just that hard to love?

Maybe I’m just

not good enough.

You thinking that you’re not good enough injures Alex’s soul, because it was never that. Alex was just a moron who got caught up in another girl who was actually in front of him for that whole summer who gave him attention and he never should have done it. He should have waited for you to come back home. He wishes he did.

Alex can’t help but think that this will probably be the easiest one of the heart aching ones that you’ve written about him. And the fact this already has made his heart sink probably isn’t the best sign.

Your poems move on to being about Peter after that and they stay that way for a lot of pages. Alex flicks through them, not really paying too much attention to anything you write about your first boyfriend, but when Alex sees M.H.he pauses.

Nothing is wasted.

Things happen for a reason.

A kiss should be simple,

but the taste of you on

my lips that night (searing)

a beautiful complication

Simple? Then why does

my heart long for you

when I’m locked to him.

Alex quickly recognises that you must have written that when you kissed Matty whilst you were still going out with Peter. And at the same time Alex realises he can’t put himself through reading the poems you’ve written about Matty, whilst it’s beautiful, he knows he can’t do it. He promises himself this will be the last one.

The next Alex finds with his own initials on it is dated a few days after your 21st birthday. And this one was about how sweet you thought it was that he kissed you. After that, there’s endless pages that are about Matty and there are somany.

Whilst Alex is searching for his next one, he comes across a photobooth strip of pictures where you and Matty are kissing each others cheeks before finally kissing each other properly in the final photo tucked into one of the poems about him, but Alex has to skips over your words about your ex.

The next A.T. is dated early November 2007, so Alex knows that this is bound to be when you were on tour with him. And Alex knows it must be because from the context of the poem he knows that this must be about the night you finally slept together again.

Supernova

Boy you are a wild thing,

a supernova, a rush of

blood, burning desire.

(Angels could never)

You light up everything

you touch & set my

body electric.

Me and you?

Hearts true,

skin brand new.

Alex reads this one over and over again. He selfishly knows why he repeats the poem, because he knows that when he turns the page it’s going to turn nasty. Because he was so beyond nasty to you back then.

It’s still one of the biggest regrets of his life, leading both you and Alexa on. He should have never done that to either of you, but especially you. He was so stupid to disregard you like you were nothing and it will always be a splinter in Alex’s soul that he’ll never be able to get out. Just like the way the guilt is always slowly eating away at him but he buries it down these days. But reading your poems that follow make that guilt wash over him all over again.

When he turns the page, he finds it dated it dated early December 2007 which Alex knows is after you left the Favourite Worst Nightmare tour after what he did and he takes a deep breath before he reads the poem you’ve titled Betrayal:

You don’t understand

how a piece of you exists

within me. It hides convert,

burrowed in my centre.

My love, my love, my love,

I have learned to romance

ghosts with you: Men who

are all fucking talk and

zero substance. I have

learned a heart can be

feint, untouchable - even

when gripped in a fist.

I have learned you are

not mine but I have

always been yours.

Ours.

I don't understand why

I can’t kill the piece of you

that makes my heart shake.

I don’t understand how

you can look for more in her

when I have cracked open

my ribcage for you.

It makes Alex tear up, and so do the ones afterwards. There’s at least ten from December 2007 and they all progressively hurt more and more as Alex reads them. But he knows you felt so much worse than he does whilst he’s reading them and on some level he knows that he has to read them all because he deserves to feel the pain after he caused you so much more in the past.

Nothing truly gets him like the last one from that month though. You wrote this one after Christmas, the first christmas he remembers you not being at home for, and his one is called Devastation and it hits him even harder.

You are with me

in dreams sweat-soaked

and electric.

You are the reason

for this ache,

this heart burst open.

When I think of you,

the knife twists and

youyouyou,

you cripple me

even still.

You are beyond forgetting.

You are ingrained in

my blood.

What I don’t understand

is why I still care?

I am a car crash when

it comes to love:

Even when my head hits

the dashboard, I spit out

my teeth and

ask if you’re

okay.

It makes him feel sick, especially reading the end of it. The mention of a car crash wounds him as he knows what pain you went through years after you wrote this on paper what a car accident would do to you. And the fact he made you feel as if you were going through something that you later would find out to be the worst pain of your life, makes him start crying.

He’s not entirely sure how long his head rests in his hands and he cries about the way he once made you feel. Your best friend knows it’s a long while and he forces himself to read all of the sad ones before he lets himself move on.

He deserves to feel every once of your pain that he put you through. And Alex really doesn’t know how you managed to forgive him time and time again.

When he finally gets back to grips and he’s not crying anymore, Alex flicks through again, there’s a few more about Matty before they move on to being about Kyle for a while. There’s the occasional one about your friends and there's a platonic one about Alex dated in 2009 about distance and about how you send each other books.

After that a few more crop up about him that show how worried you are about him that were from 2010, after his split with Alexa and he came to stay with you. And there’s more about Matty afterwards. In fact, Matty takes up the majority of the next fifty pages which makes sense considering you were with him for so long.

The poems got Alex emotional again when it reached the year you had your accident and when you split up with Matty. Alex expects there to be a lot in there about the accident, but considering what happened with Matty, he realises that pain combined with the accident merged into one, so he still doesn’t read the ones with Matty’s initials in the corner.

One of them, though, doesn’t have any initials on it. And it’s the simplest poem but it hits Alex square in the chest.

I keep wondering

how sad do I have to be

for someone to stop insisting

everything is going to be fine?

Maybe it hits him because Alex thinks of himself as that someone who kept reassuring you at that point in your life. Despite you not putting any initials it really does seem like it could be about him.

Your poems stay about Matty for a while then, and he sees the dates move to when the AM tour started. At the beginning of that year there were a few more about Matty, probably how you felt betrayed by him going after Alex’s exes but he again skips over them until he finds his initials again. And he smiles when he does.

There are a few cute ones about the two of you getting closer again, some that suggest you want to see if you can be happy with him but with nerves because of what happened last time. They are really cute, ones that Alex wishes he could reread over and over again, but his favourite happens to have something else alongside it.

Alex opens that page and a polaroid falls out of it, one that he hasn’t seen in years but he remembers taking it. The picture of your silhouette as you sit on the decking above some American lake, and the sky is full of colour. Yellows, oranges, and reds all blurring into a stunning sunset, with the reflection of it on the water but you’re at the centre of it.

Seeing that the poem is the one that you wrote when you were sitting in his arms makes Alex’s heart beat faster, and this is definitely his favourite when he reads it.

Back To Life

This is the truth:

You touched me and the

universe fell back into place.

With you I feel infinity and

I wonder how many lives,

galaxies and red-hot nights

will live in our shared bloodstream.

Because it all boils down to

this sweet boy:

You have brought me

back to life.

It really hits him hard that one, and all of the ones after that ooze that you’re falling in love again. And knowing what happens makes Alex’s heart ache, he really could have had you be his back on tour if he’d have just asked you. If the both of you had just been direct like you were last week, you could have been together for 6 years.

Alex guesses that is at least one blessing of growing up. You all learn from your mistakes in an effort not to make the same ones again, and he’s so thankful he can finally call you his.

If he’s remembering the dates correctly, Alex reads another one that is from when you both came back home from the AM tour that is about him.

I learned to love

the most important parts of me,

because you did.

All my fear, anxieties,

quirks, and insecurities.

I overcame the struggle

because you held out

your hand and

offered to walk with me.

Whilst that warms his heart, the ones of heartbreak come next. Ones where you said that you let him go because you couldn’t be selfish to make him stay for you. Others of longing and the pain at him being so far away again and it makes Alex regret that move to LA in 2014 even more than he already did.

Reading the ones about both him and Matty make your constant heartache back in 2016 a bit easier to understand. He can tell from the way you write that you’re so confused by what you’re feeling for two different people and how overwhelming those emotions were for you. Alex starts crying at some of them because of how broken you sound in them. It made him wish he never put you through the stupid triangle.

Then the poems reflected on your 30th birthday party and the ones about him hurt him a fucking lot to read. Again, he deserves to feel that pain. It’s another of his biggest regrets to this day that he’d said that about you and used your virginity as some badge of honour. So when he reads about you actually forgiving him, he cries again in relief.

But then it gets to 2017 and something else trapped in the pages falls onto Alex’s lap. A letter.

One that just reads ‘Y/N’ on the front of it in someone's handwriting that he doesn’t quite recognise, but he knows he’s seen it before. But then it clicks after he thinks why you keep a letter in your most prized possessions, it’s important to you and important enough that you wouldn’t want to lose it. And it’s then he realises it must be the letter that Matty gave you, the one that ended up with you sleeping with your other best friend again.

For years it’s plagued Alex on what could be written in that letter - the one that's now in his hands - that made you rush to Matty and sleep with him again. It kept him up at night thinking about it in the days after you told him what happened.

He wants to know, he really does and when it clicked what it was there was no doubt in Alex’s mind that he was going to open it and read it. But when it comes to him even opening the envelope, he can’t do it.

Alex can’t bring himself to betray your trust like that. It’s unbelievable enough that you’ve even let him open your poetry diary, he can’t just open something that you’ve kept private for so long.

He trusts you enough with what you’d told him in the past and what you said last week that Matty is just your best friend. You will have had your reasons for why you got with him back then and he’s sure this letter in his hands would make him understand. But that can stay between you and Matty. Alex makes his peace with that there and then as he tucks the letter back into the pages of your diary before he starts searching for his initials again.

The 2018 poems begin and the months where you and Alex got together again the time it almost led to a proper relationship have your boyfriend really happy to read. Your writing is astounding and how you convey your feelings through your words is insane.

But Alex knows he’s about to fuck up and hurt you again. And when he reaches the poem where he does, it upsets him again.

In another life

I swallowed every reprieve

and instead

offered you a mouthful

of loathing.

Just not in this one

As he’s been reading all of the ones after this about how hurt you were after he called you what he did and you decided you didn’t want to be with him anymore. Again, entirely fair and he deserves to feel like this as he reads the following ones that also cover that heartbreak.

He reads the other ones that cover 2018, not many more are about him other than one about you meeting accidentally in your spot at the park that day.

The poem you write about your one night stand in January 2019 is amazing. You write about sex like it’s electricity and he can feel the ghost of what happened in his veins as he reads.

He wishes that you were ready for a relationship back then because he would have asked you if you wanted to settle down. It would have saved him the waste of time that was the rest of 2019 for him anyway, and he could have been with someone who actually appreciated him for the person he is instead of being used like he was. Another regret of his will always be that he foolishly didn’t believe what you said about his ex and that he hurt you with that.

The poems that start with the beginning of 2020 are beautiful and happy, but the ones that come after march are bitter in comparison. Your poems turn lonely and sad and it’s so blatantly clear to see that you weren’t doing too well. As Alex reads he can see tear stains on the old battered book that holds your emotions just as clearly as your words.

He too is balling his eyes out reading how broken you feel and he wishes you phoned him sooner than you did. He promises himself that he will never ever let you feel as upset as you clearly were for those few months and he will make sure he does that for the rest of his life.

Alex notices the dates get even more recent now. One a day after he picks you up and it's as if a light had been switched back on and you found your happiness again. And then he reads ones that slowly hint that you’re falling back in love and you say that it’s been dormant for a while but it's always been there. It makes your boyfriend emotional as his heart feels like it could burst. But then he reads ones that have been written this last week, where each of them have that A.T. in the corner and your boyfriend can’t stop crying.

21/06/20

Those little moments,

with my head on your chest

and your fingertips

drawing circles

on the base of my neck.

They are the tiny moments

you are more than my home;

you are my entire world.

~~~

22/06/20

If I were to build a house

I’d have your arms as the walls

Your eyes as the windows

Your smile as the front door

Your heart as the fireplace

And your soul as my light

And in this house

I’d place my faith

Knowing I’d finally

Found a home

~~~

23/06/20

My pen could write

for a thousand people

but it never smiles about them

the way it does for you.

I love you Alexander Turner,

my Shakespeare,

my Darling.

So much.

And then the pages go blank. You wrote that you loved him this morning and even though you’ve said it a hundred times this past week it still doesn’t seem real.

Alex closes the book and puts it down before he just lets himself cry. He’s so overwhelmed with everything that you’ve written that all of his emotions are blended into one and he just sits and cries.

The only thing Alex can make sense of is that It seemed like you both caught feelings for each other even harder at different paces. You caught them immediately whereas Alex noticed them properly about a year later and he made messy life decisions after that.

And after that you’ve been missing each other until you finally got brought together now. Alex is so beyond thankful that he has you now and he will never ever take that for granted.

He’s unsure how long he sat there reading, and now crying, but it’s long enough that you’ve made it back home. Alex hears the front door open and you’re humming as you walk through the door.

Hearing your small, “I’m home.” somehow makes him even more upset, but he can’t not get up because he needs you back in his arms now. As Alex turns the corner, you’re taking your AirPods out and putting your keys on the side and he tears up more just looking at you.

You didn’t even notice your boyfriend was coming up to you until the second before his arms wrapped around you and he gave you the biggest hug he ever has. It’s a lovely embrace that has you smiling, but it quickly turns worrying when you feel his shaky breathing and you realise he’s crying.

Just as you’re about to ask if he’s okay, you hear his choked up voice tell you, “I love you so so much, Y/N.” as he hugs you tightly.

“Alex,” Your arms wrap around him, instantly worried he’s had some bad news whilst you’ve been out. “What's wrong?”

You feel him shake his head as he cries into your neck and he just holds you tighter and “Nothing, I just love you.”

“I love you too, Al.” You promise him, giving him a big squeeze and you run your hand up and down his back trying to comfort him and coax him into telling you what's wrong.

You’re a little worried about him when he just cries for a minute in your neck before you start worrying that something bad actually has happened and he’s not telling you, “Alex come on, what's happened? What’s wrong?”

“I just read everything and I-” He chokes up when he pulls out of your hug briefly for him to wipe the tears from his face as he stumbles over his words, “I don’t know Angel. I’m overwhelmed and I-” He has watery eyes and you can tell just how much he means what he’s saying when he continues, “I just love you so much Angel… I’m so sorry I hurt you for so long.”

“Al, don't apologise.” You shake your head, and reach up to wipe his tears away, “I’m fine, I’m okay.”

“I just love you a lot. I'm so, so, so beyond sorry I put you through all that.” There’s no stopping his tears yet, and he looks broken when he cries in a choked voice, “You must hate me, I'm so, so, so sorry.”

“Alex no,” You promise him, “It's okay.”

He sounds broken when he says, “I don’t understand how can you love me when I made you feel like that?”

“Do you remember what that really clever man once said?” You ask him as you wipe his tears and he sniffles, shaking his head slightly to answer your question.

“‘The course of true love never did run smooth’, Al.” You quote A Midsummer Night’s Dream at him, before you go on to say, “I love you more now because of it all… You know I love you, you’ve just read how much I do. Please tell me you made it to the end.”

Alex nods, confirming he did, but he sniffles, “I don’t deserve it.”

“If you made it to the end then you’ve read how much I love you.” You smile at him, and the small smile he gives you back warms your heart. You really want him to believe you.

“We deserve to be happy, Shakespeare.” You wipe away the fresh tears that spill down his cheeks as you tell him softly, “It’s time to let it all go. It’s me and you against the world now.”

“Are you sure you want that?” It almost breaks your heart when you hear him ask that. “Want me?”

You nod, promising him, “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

Tears of relief seem to flood his eyes then and he smiles at you as he savours the feeling of you gently brushing his cheeks as you look up at him with such a loving smile.

He wraps himself up into the biggest hug again and as you lean your head against his, he says, “I love you so much Y/N Y/L/N.”

You smile as you whisper into his ear, “And I love you too Alex Turner.”

~*~*~*~ Mid July 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Curly, hey!” You smile as you answer your phone.

You just quickly ran to the kitchen to grab your phone when you heard it ringing but you were pleasantly surprised to see your best friend's contact name on the screen.  

“Wheels! Sweetheart!” Matty’s chipper voice comes from down the phone. “How are you? What you up to?”

“I’m good, thank you.” You tell him as you make your way back to  “And I’m currently doing another box painting for the next gallery. For whenever the world gets back to normal anyway.”

“Hopefully we will get there soon,” You can hear Matty’s smile when he adds, “And oooo, what’s this one of?”

You smile as you look at your artwork. This one was just a scene you conjured up from your imagination and it turned out pretty well if you do say so yourself, “This one is a foggy forest with mountains in the back.”

“Nice one, can’t wait to see it.” Matty says and you know he’s being entirely genuine.

However, today is about him, not you.

“You’re too cute, but anyway, I can tell you over the phone properly now.” You’re grinning like a fool as you say, “I’m so fucking proud of you Matty… Notes is fucking amazing.”

Notes On A Conditional Form came out today and you’ve already had your first run through of listening to it since Alex went out earlier as you painted. It’s so different to their other albums but still has that 1975 magic that makes the songs theirs. And you’re so incredibly proud of them all.

“Thank you Sweetheart,” You can practically hear his grin, “And whilst I’ve got you, Notes was actually the reason I was calling.”

“Oh?” You smile hearing that.

“We’re doing the twitter listening party later on at seven and I wondered if you’re not busy if you wanted to come to the studio to listen with me and George?” Matty asks, and before you can get a word in, your best friend starts giving his reasons, “I just don’t want you on your own when you’re being sensible anyway so having you around for a bit isn’t going to break any rules in our mind nor should it in yours. You shouldn’t be locked down alone anyway.”

“Matty,” You start, “Thank you for the offer but I’m not on my own anymore.”

“Who you with?”

“Alex…” You trail off, really not knowing how Matty was going to take it.

You’ve sort of just kept what’s gone on between you and Alex the past month between the two of you. You hadn’t even told Adam you were giving it another try with Alex yet, you just told him when you socially distanced met up with him the day your boyfriend was reading your poetry books that you were staying at his house, not that you were back together.

“Ah, right.” Matty thinks about it for a second before hesitantly asking, “I’m guessing in more ways than one?”

You feel fucking awful, like you should have had this conversation in person and not over the phone, so you immediately say, “I’m sorry Matty, I-”

“No, no Wheels, please don’t apologise.” Matty is quick to interrupt you, “I was just asking because I didn't want to presume. I just want you to be happy.”

“That’s all I want for you too, Matty. I swear.” You promise, because you do just want him happy.

There’s nothing you want more than for him to find the girl of his dreams who can put up with his excitable ways and for someone who loves him just as much as you once did. He deserves the world and there will always be a part of you that loves him, but you’re both so much better off as best friends it's clear for you both to see now.

“Yeah, I know.” You can hear his smile and that is still present when he excitedly hints, “I’ve got news on that actually.”

“Ooo what?”

“I’ve started speaking to someone.” Matty informs you and you can hear his grin down the phone.

You gasp, completely thrilled for him, “Really?”

“Yeah.” He confirms, sounding really chuffed for himself.  

“Would I know her?” Is your polite way of asking if she’s famous.

“You might.” Matty chuckles before answering, “You heard of FKA Twigs?”

“You’re kidding.” Your jaw drops and you have to pinch your nose wondering how the fuck Matty, your beautifully idiotic now skinhead Matty Healy has somehow managed to take FKA Twigs off the market. “How the fuck have you managed that Matty? She pole dances!”

“I know.” Matty laughs down the phone, clearly finding your shock funny. “I don’t know either Wheels, but it’s going really well. I was actually gunna tell you later on if you were coming round.”

You can’t stop smiling at how bloody happy he sounds, you coo down the phone, “Matty, I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you too.” Matty tells you sincerely, and your heart melts a bit when he adds, “You know I’m always here if you need me, right Sweetheart?”

“Of course I do, Curly.” You nod, wrapping an arm around yourself in an attempt to simulate one of his. You’ve missed your Matty hugs these past four months. You remind him, “I’m always a phone call away too. You know that.”

“I do.” Matty confirms which makes you smile.

You really need lockdown to fuck off so you can go and hug your friends. You will certainly never take their presence for granted ever again.

“Who knows about you and Al by the way? Does Hann know?” Matty can’t help but wonder.

“No we’ve not told anyone, we've just kept it to ourselves for the time being.” You explain, “But it’s not a secret, tell who you want. I’ll phone Adam after I’ve finished on the phone with you though.”

He chuckles mischievously, “Amazing, Twitter will have a field day.”

“Just like they did when they found out you shaved your head again.” You pointedly accuse because you’re still not happy with him.

The bastard got rid of the mohawk and left a fucking rat tail on his head, and after copious amounts of bullying from you, he finally got rid of that too. But now he just looks like a prison inmate and you need him to commit to growing his hair back.

“So other than the both of us being happy, do you have any gossip? Personal or industry will satisfy my boredom.” You ask, changing the topic of conversation so he hopefully forgets his plan to out your relationship to twitter.  

Matty laughs then, but he can’t help but say, “Alex should be satisfying your boredom.”

“Oh he is,” You grin, knowing exactly what your best friend meant by that, “But I’ve gotta have a break sometimes, Curly.”

The sex you and Alex were currently having was very very nice to say the least. Lockdown was a blessing in that sense, between painting, watching shit tv, talking to each other and your friends left a lot of time for the two of you to get up to no good. And it’s needless to say, you’ve been left very satisfied.

But you can’t help but tease Matty, “Might watch a few more videos of your girlfriend pole dancing if you don’t give me some gossip.”

“Let me think.” Your best friend says quickly which makes you chuckle, but then he tells you the worst thing imaginable, “Oh yeah, so something devastating news for you actually… Catfish and the Bottlemen are no more.”

Your eyes go wide, and you gasp, “What?!”

You can imagine Matty nodding as he confirms, “They are splitting up.”

“No.” You say back in utter disbelief.

You don;t even hear the front door open, you're so in shock. All you can hear is Matty trying not to laugh as he says, “Yeah, sorry Wheels but it’s true.”

With your hand over your mouth, still in utter disbelief you ask, “But why?” like you’re a child who’s having a sulk at your toy being taken away.

“I’ve got no idea. Seems there’s been a few disagreements and shit’s hit the fan.” Matty tells you, “Apparently, they will be doing their confirmed tour dates and then that's it.”

“I’m in pain.” You're frozen to your spot, looking like your world just crumbled down as you exaggerate to Matty, “Immense pain.”

Whilst your best friend chuckles down the phone, Alex walks through the door with all of the food shopping bags on his arms, and he asks slightly concerned, “What’s wrong with you? You look like you’re about to throw up.”

As your boyfriend kisses you on top of your head, you repeat what Matty just told you, “Catfish and the Bottlemen are splitting up.”

“Yeah.” Alex nods like it’s not news to him before he turns and heads towards the kitchen.

You jump out of your seat and follow him, almost shouting, “You knew?!”

“I thought you did.” Alex says over his shoulder as he puts all the bags down in the corner of the room by the cupboards.  

Matty is laughing down the phone as you say in complete disbelief, “I can’t believe you knew and you didn’t tell me.”

“Don’t cry Angel, they weren’t that good.” Alex chuckles before he starts opening cupboards and the fridge to put the food shopping away.  

You jump up and sit on the kitchen island before saying, “I’m surrounded by rats.” and Matty again laughs as your boyfriend chuckles.

“Matty’s on the phone then?” Alex asks, and when you nod, you pull your phone from your ear and put him on speaker. Your boyfriend tells your best friend, “Brave of you to tell her that mate. How are you?”

“I know and good thank you, hope you are too.” Matty’s voice rings out of your phone speakers.  

But you smirk and add, “Oh he’s fucking amazing with his new pole dancing girlfriend.”

“Who?” Alex turns to look at you with a surprised look.

You grin knowing he’ll be shocked when you tell him, “FKA Twigs.”

“You’re kidding?” Alex’s jaw drops exactly like yours did.

You can’t help but laugh, “That’s what I said!”

“Okay it’s getting a bit rude now and you’s can call her Tahliah,” Matty tells you and you bite your lip to stop from laughing. Matty adds though, “By the way Al… Break Wheels’ heart and I’ll punch your lights out and get George to do the same.”

“Noted.” Alex chuckles, having absolutely no intention to ever hurt you again. Changing the topic, “Speaking of notes, we’re listening to it later, right?”

“We are indeed.” You nod confirming for your boyfriend.

“Excited to hear what you think.” Matty says pleasantly, but then he feels the need to remind, “Please both of you remember I wrote it a fucking while ago.”

You chuckle at that because you know he means that songs about you are on there. But you already knew that. You were in the music video to one of them after all. But you’re excited to tweet along later as you both listen to it properly.  

“Don’t worry, it's all good.” Alex chuckles, really not caring if you’re not upset by it.

Matty is entitled to write about his own experience just as much as he is.  

You leave Alex to put the shopping away after the three of you chat for a little bit. You and Matty could chat for days and you probably chat for another half an hour about anything that pops into either of your heads. But then Matty remembers something that will shock you to your very soul.

“Oh fuck.” Matty says randomly as you were gossiping.

“What?”

“I forgot to tell you something…” Matty trails off.

If you were on facetime with him, you expect you’d see the hint of a grin coming onto his lips as you can tell by the way he said that. You’re sure of it.

Which is why you question, “Is it gossip?”

“It is.” Matty confirms, before correcting slightly, “Personal gossip.”

Oh, fuck yes. The best kind… Especially when it’s not about you.

You’re grinning, “Spill, now.”

“Are you sat down?” Matty asks, “You might want to be.”

“Oh fuck,” You immediately feel guilty for getting excited and not realising something could be wrong, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything’s grand,” Matty thankfully eases your worries, but he still leaves you anxious as he says, “Just need you to be sitting for this.”

“Okay… You’re scaring me now. What?”

“It’s George…” He trails off again.

But you prompt him to continue, your heart beating a little faster wondering what the gossip could be, “What about him?”

Matty tells you, “He texted me earlier saying he’d managed to shag the girl he’s been after for a while.”

And just like that your hopes and dreams of George all crumble away.

You pout at that, and you sound a little grumpy as you say, “Well he’s not just shagged me so that’s a lie.”

“You wish.” Matty laughs, expecting to hear nothing else.

He can’t help but find your disappointment funny. But he knew he needed to be the one to tell you, because you’d need the news to sink in first and you’d be too polite for your own good if George told you himself.

As Matty is thinking all of this, you realise you really can’t be upset. You’ve got your man now and you’re very veryhappy with him. Maybe you’re just mourning what could have been and the jokes that can’t happen anymore.

Sighing, you brave the pain, “Come on spill... Who is it? Is she pretty? Do we know her?”

“Oh, you know her alright.” You can hear Matty’s grin.

“Do not say Alexa Chung.” You state bluntly, the idea not funny in the slightest to you.  

Matty cackles at that, but he assures you, “No, you’re safe don’t worry.”

“Who’s he fucking Matty?” You urge him to tell you.  

“Charli XCX.”

Your jaw falls open for the second time today, and you gasp, “No.”

“I promise you.” Matty confirms, but now you’re truly shell shocked and you’re left speechless. So much so that after a minute, your best friend makes sure you’re still there, “Wheels?”

Lucky fucking bitch.

You say as you stare into the void, “I’m deeply unwell.”

“I knew you would be.” Matty chuckles to himself as he can picture the shock on your face so clearly.

You whine, “She’s so fucking fit.”

“I know.” Matty agrees.

But you’re still thinking out loud as you complain, “They must have the hottest, switchiest sex.”

Matty cackles loudly at the pain in your voice. “I’m going to tell him you said that.”

Ignoring that comment, you carry on rambling about this fake heartbreak, “I half feel like he’s cheated on me because he’s not told me.”

Matty quite rightly asks, “Have you told him about Alex?”

“No, so I don’t have a leg to stand on but still I’m in pain right now.” You winge.

“Knew you would be.” Matty chuckles, “We’re all off the market now, Wheels. The shop has closed.”

You nod as if he can see you, but you then go on to the more pressing point, “We need to find Ross someone, stat.”

Matty agrees, “I might set him up a Raya account.”  

“Do it, the man needs to get laid.” You approve, then joke, “If I wasn’t spoken for, I would.”

“Please expect the bro code, Wheels.” You can almost hear Matty’s frown.  

“I’m not your bro.” You state, half offended he would call you that.

Matty chuckles, “You’re my best friend, you are.”

And just as you’re about to argue that you’re had sex with him before so you’re not his bro, Matty swears, “Oh fuck.”

You’re worried for a split second, “What?”

“I’m late for my Zoom meeting with Jamie,” Matty panics a little, but nothings wrong so you take a breath of relief as your best friend apologises, “Sorry Wheels, I completely forgot and he’s ringing me.”

You just chuckle, “Ever the professional.”

“Sorry Sweetheart.”

“It’s alright.” You smile, “Speak to you soon, love you lots Curly.”

“Love you too, bye Wheels.” Matty quickly bids you farewell.

“Bye.” You say back and when the call ends you stand yourself up.

It’s almost too much news to take in. You have to take a breath as you wonder back to the kitchen where you can hear your boyfriend starting to cook.

After you put your phone on charge, you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist.

“Al.” You mumble as you hug his back.

“Yes Angel?”

“Don’t suppose you’ve ever thought about a foursome?” You ask, unable to stop yourself.

Alex chuckles, “With Matty and Twigs, no.”

You laugh a little too as that was definitely not who you were meaning. You correct him, “No, with George and his new girl.”

“Who’s his new girl?” Alex asks absentmindedly, no matter the answer he’s not going to change his mind.

You still can’t believe George has managed to land the stunning woman, “Charli XCX.”

Alex turns towards you at this point, looking just as shocked as you, “You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” You confirm it’s true.

“Christ,” Alex chuckles, “The pandemic has done the rounds for bringing couples together, hasn't it?”

“I know, I know.” You nod, and go back to having a silent moment with him, once again hugging his back whilst he cooks.  

But after a minute, you ask again, “So… the foursome?”

Alex snorts, before telling you, “Get out of my kitchen, woman.”

~*~*~*~ 30th November 2020 ~*~*~*~

“I don’t think we’re ever going to find one, Angel.” Alex sighs as you both get in the car after another disappointing house viewing.

You try to keep both of your hopes up by assuring, “We will.” as you do your seatbelt and get comfy as Alex starts the car.

Your boyfriend just looks visibly deflated though, which is how you’re currently feeling too but you’re trying not to let it get you down. The both of you decided that you wanted to find a home together, because you wanted to build a life together that was your own.

Originally it was Alex’s idea, because he didn’t want to refer to it as your flat or his house, he wanted it to be both of yours together. He wanted to restart with you and you were certainly up for it. You’re really not attached to your flat in London at all, and you’ve been living with Alex since June so you’re certainly up for it.

But the current search hasn’t been going too well.

“Each one has so many cons and it’s infuriating.” Alex huffs as he waits for the car to de-mist. He turns to you and holds up each of fingers for the cons, “Either no studio space or no music room space. It's either all dark and dingy and needs too much doing to it.”

“I understand Al,” You nod, getting what he means entirely, “Nowhere has felt like a home.”

He runs a hand through his once again prince charming hair, but he looks at you and sighs, “We couldn't raise a family in any of the ones they’ve shown us.”

The both of you have talked about your futures a lot recently and the prospect of starting a family has been talked about. Neither of you want anything right now, but the option being left open is certainly something you’re happy with.

You just continue to tell your boyfriend, “We will find somewhere.” as you grab his hand and lace your fingers together.

Alex gives your hand a squeeze and he kisses the back of it before sounding slightly upset as he admits, “I’m losing hope and that's really sad.”

You give him a sad smile hearing that but you do understand. You’ve not liked any yet either and it does get the both of you down. But you just try to stay optimistic but also realistic. It really isn’t the end of the world.

“Well we have the viewing later today and if that goes shit, how about we just put a hold on moving?” You suggest, “We’re not moving because we desperately have too, we’re just doing it for better convenience for the both of us.”

Alex looks like he’s about to argue, but you get to him first and say, “It’s really not that much of an issue me going to the flat to sort the paintings out. I can survive a bit longer.”

“I know, but I also want to make a home with you like we talked about.” Alex sounds so defeated and you just make him lean across the car to hug you for a few seconds.

“Home for me is where you are.” You tell him as you kiss his cheek, “So I’m perfectly fine in the house for a bit longer, Al. I’m in no rush... Let's just see how later goes and if we get a good feeling about it we can see.”

Alex nods and lets you go, grabbing your hand again as he nods, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I always am.” You chuckle and squeeze his hand, “You never know, the one later is a little further out of the city. More room there. And if you want to, I don't mind not being in London, we can go back home and look up there.”

Alex smiles at that idea, but he outs himself for not being able to wait around for anything, “I just can’t wait to build a life with you any longer. Need everything now.”

You grin at him and lean over to steal a kiss as you tell him, “I love you, Mr Impatient.”

“Love you too, Angel.” Alex mumbles against your lips as he kisses you back.

~*~*~*~

“So this one has most of the things you were asking for.” Your estate agent Anna tells you as the three of you walk up the drive of the gorgeous looking house.

“Lots of natural light, which I know you wanted for your art studio, Y/N. There's another decent sized room that could easily be turned into a home studio for you, Alex. It’s a little bigger than you wanted, but more space is never a bad thing.” She goes on to tell you as she gets the keys to the house out. “It's a four bed, two bathroom. Master has an ensuite, and there's an open plan kitchen and dining area. And the lounge is fairly big with a fireplace. There's also a pretty much brand new conservatory on the back and a big garden too.”

“Well it certainly sounds good.” You smile as she starts unlocking the doors, “Looks it too from the outside.”

The drive can easily fit a few cars on there which is nice, and there's a tree that currently has no leaves in the corner too. The outside of the house looks huge, somewhere that you would dream of living when you were a teenager and never imagining it would be possible for you to have. You just hope inside lives up to the outside.

Anna smiles at you both, and she says, “Fingers crossed this is the one for you both, I have a good feeling,”

“Let's hope it’s a good one.” Alex nods as she opens the front door.

Anna gives you the tour around and you must admit the more things you see of this house, the more you can see the potential in it. This is one of the few that you’re actually letting yourself get excited about.

The room Anna thought about as your art studio is perfect, there's enough natural light so you could paint in there and there's enough room to store your paintings and all your supplies too. There’s nothing you don’t like about it.

And Alex seems to like the room that she envisioned as his studio. You could already picture his guitars on the walls, a drum kit in there, a keyboard, there was enough room for everything.

The lounge is fucking huge, bigger than the two of you need but it’s cosy and if theres a future where the two of you ever decide to expand your family the house certainly accommodates to it. The joint kitchen and dining room is astounding too, you wouldn't change a thing in there, you love all the units and so does Alex.

Upstairs is just as good. All the bedrooms and the bathroom are beautiful and the only thing you would change about them would be giving them some colour on the bare white walls. You can certainly picture yourself and Alex in the master bedroom too. The whole house is stunning and the both of you get that excited feeling in your stomach as you look around.

Anna lets you wonder around by yourselves for a little bit where you get the relief of knowing that the other person has a good feeling about this house too. And as you come back downstairs, you realise you’ve not looked outside yet or been in the conservatory.

“Do we get to the back garden through the conservatory, Anna?” You ask, looking back to her setting her iPad down on the kitchen island.

“Yes there is a door in there and there's a door in the utility room too, but feel free to go out that way, the key should be in the door.” She smiles.

Both of you think that the conservatory has the potential to be very cosy, and there’s no neighbours facing this way either, the garden just seems to be surrounded by trees so it gives the garden some privacy which the both of you like.

“Lets go check outside.” You suggest as you slip your coat back on, and Alex follows you out.

It's a nice big garden. Big enough for your friends to come over for a BBQ in the summer, or if your family did expand a swingset, trampoline, or a pool could easily be put up and little ones could still run around it freely.

Even though most of the trees have currently lost their leaves due to the time of year, you still feel like this is a lovely place. Lots of light gets into the garden and you know even when all the leaves come back it won't feel suffocating. You really love this house and Alex agrees with you when you say it as you head back inside with him.

“What did you think?” Anna asks as she steps into the conservatory to meet you.

You nod, “It’s lovely.” and Alex nods agreeing with you.

“It really is, especially in spring and summer.” Anna smiles, and she looks out of the window and nonchalantly adds, “That cherry blossom tree makes the garden look beautiful.”

Instantly you and Alex look at each other like you’ve missed something. Because you’re certain you would have seen a cherry blossom tree outside if there was one.

It’s Alex that questions it, “Pardon?”

“That tree at the end of the garden,” Anna points to the big tree with no leaves at the very end of the garden, “It's a cherry blossom… When it's spring it blooms and looks stunning. I’ll find the pictures for you.”

You and Alex look at each other then as the estate agent looks through her iPad and both of you share the same look. The both of you entirely full of hope and you're sure the warm feeling must have hit his chest like it just did yours.

“There you go,” Anna hands her device over to you which shows an image of the back garden with all the trees in bloom.

But there’s a huge stunning cherry blossom tree in the centre of it, and it looks stunning. It looks like the one you painted on the big canvas that Alex secretly bought at your gallery.

Anna adds, “It’s the same as the small one out the front.” and she swipes on her screen which shows a smaller cherry blossom which is clearly the tree on the drive that had lost its leaves.

Both you and Alex look at each other again, this time with smiles tugging on both of your lips and you just know. If this isn’t a sign, you don’t know what is.

In reality, the both of you know that there is no need to look around again because you’ve both fallen completely in love with the house. The cherry blossoms have just confirmed it for you.

Regardless though, just to confirm it, you take another look around all the rooms as if you don’t know that you both want this house. And when you meet Anna at the front door, Alex grabs your hand and you smile at each other before your boyfriend says, “We would like to make an offer please.”

~*~*~*~ 7th April 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” You smile brightly as you open the door to your cousin and his girlfriend, “Come in, come in.”

“God, I'm so glad to see you Carly.” You say as you pull her into a hug, “I’ve missed you loads.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She says as she hugs you back.

As Alex greets your cousin, you tell her when you pull out of the hug and admire her long hair, “Gosh, every time I see your hair I wish mine was still as long.”

“It’s growing back.” She grins as she twists a strand of your hair.

You chuckle, “Yeah, just not fast enough.”

At that point the both of you turn to the two men. And you can’t help the massive grin that comes to your face when you look at Adam.

“Bro,” You grin as you hug your cousin, “It’s good to see you.

“And you B,” He tells you as he gives you a tight squeeze, “Missed you loads.”

“I know, these lockdowns need to fuck off.” You let him go as he says, “Really hoping that was the last one.”

From January to March this year, there was another lockdown in the UK. One that was a blessing and curse. A curse because the country was suffering from high Covid rates again, but a blessing because in those 3 months you had got the keys to yours and Alex’s house and you finished making it your own.

“I think it will be,” Adam is clearly hoping that was the end of another bout of self isolation too, “Don't think the country will survive another.”

You nod, agreeing, “Can’t wait to get back to normal.”

Adam hums in agreement and then he looks around the hall and around what he can see of your new home and says, “The house is stunning.”

“Ahh thank you.” You smile, the pride washing over you when you take a look around yourself.

Carly asks the both of you, “Did you get everything finished during the lockdown?”

“Yeah, we did.” Alex nods, and he grins at the memories of the both of you covered in paint in domestic bliss.  

Getting this house with you was certainly one of the best ideas he’d ever had and he would change nothing about it for the world. And on the rainy days recently, Alex had loved cuddling up with you in the conservatory where you would read aloud for the both of you as he was playing with the ends of your hair and his eyes would flick between you and the cherry blossom tree that had started to bloom at the bottom of your garden.

“Come on,” You link Carly's arm and say, “We’ll give you the tour.”

You take them round your home and you find yourself really proud to show it off. You’ve made it your own and every room that you walk into, you feel that pride that you felt each time you finished decorating a room during lockdown as you show them your home.

Once you’ve given the tour, you all walk into the kitchen so you can make them a drink. It’s so nice to have them around, you’ve really missed everyone again over the lockdown, you just can’t wait for things to go back to normal now.

And you’re really excited for your little housewarming party in a month's time. You can’t wait to have all your friends back together.

“It's gorgeous B.” Adam smiles as you hand him his cup of tea.

You grin, “Thank you.” as you take your seat next to Alex.

“Was talking about Alex's studio but sure the rest is nice.” Adam teases you.

But you just shake your head and tell him, “You’re a little shit.” as Carly nudges him for you.

All of you chat for a while and you have a really good catch up. You talk of how lockdown treated you all, about how you really hope life will get back to normal soon. You laugh about your funny lockdown stories over lunch and you can’t remember the last time you’ve had so much fun.

Well actually, you can remember the last time. It was in November when you finally got to hang out with all of your favourite people once again back up in your old flat, and Y/B/F and Charlie were back living together as the fact you all now had a vaccine on the horizon made the future look a whole lot brighter.

You felt like your family was whole again. Your Monkeys and your 1975 boys and your best friends all in one place. It felt like a birthday party, you were so happy.

Of course, you still got the flirty banter from George which Alex didn’t mind about, but what made your boyfriend giggle was when Charli started flirting with you too and you all but crumbled at it. Matty was still a terror and the banter between you was still exactly the same, he bullied you for anything and everything and you did the same to him.

That day you took it easy on him though because his girlfriend FKA Twigs aka Taliah had joined the party, but you did tell him that you were really happy he was happy in a moment you had when you joined him for some fresh air when he went out on your old fire escape to smoke. You really hoped for the best for him as he’d been with her for a while by that point and it was easy for you to see he was in love with her.

It was such a good day, and you’re remembering it fondly in an anecdote before you and Alex clear all the plates and make your cousin and his beautiful girlfriend another brew. Once you both return and all of you wonder into your lounge, you notice that the couple take each other's hands and seem to silently communicate with each other before smiling and looking back towards you.

“We’ve got to tell you something.” Carly smiles at the both of you and she grabs Adam’s hand making the statement even more suspenseful.

“Oh?” You smile, feeling like you know what this could be.

You and Y/B/F bet back on that day in November that in the next 6 months Adam would propose to Carly. And Alex knew about this bet too so you both glanced at each other subtly thinking that this really could be it, which makes you hold your breath with a nervous eagerness to hear what they have to say.

But then you’re shocked to your very soul.

“We're having a baby.” Adam grins at you.

Your eyes go wide with excitement, but you lose your words as you look between them, “You’re… you’re…”

“Yeah.” Carly nods, understanding your speechlessness.

“Oh my,” You trail off, immediately tearing up as you and Alex both stand up to hug the parents to be. Both of you say at the same time, “Congratulations.”

Adam makes a beeline for you, which you find really cute because you were going to go for Carly first. But you embrace your cousin so tight and you really don’t want to let him go.

You can hear Alex congratulating Carly whilst you and Adam just silently hug each other as you try not to sob down his ear. You think the hug says a lot more than you ever could.

You love the man in your arms like he’s your brother and you’ve so beyond happy for him. He deserves nothing but happiness and this is going to be the happiest thing to ever happen in your family.

“You’re going to be a Dad.” You cry happy tears as you squeeze him in the tightest hug you ever have, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Your cousin sounds a little choked up too.

You think about just how amazing he’s going to be with a baby and you can’t help but repeat yourself in a little chuckle of disbelief, “I can’t believe you’re going to be a Dad.”

Adam laughs, “Neither can I.”

“I’m going to spoil baby Hann rotten.” You promise him, already formulating a plan for everything you’re going to do for this child.

“Oh, I have no doubt.” Adam chuckles before you give each other another big squeeze and you let go to see he’s just as teary eyed as you.

You smile and wipe away his tears for him but you don’t bother to do your own because as soon as you look at Carly the waterworks start again. She’s tearing up a bit too as you trap her in a long hug.

“I'm so beyond happy for you, Carly.” You tell her and she thanks you as Alex tells Adam how elated he is for him.

You and Carly hug each other for a while too, probably too long but it feels like the both of you need it. And you’re giggling in each other's arms for a few minutes as you talk about how happy you are for them both and you promise her too that you will spoil her child rotten.

When you finally let go of her, you all sit back down but you’re far more invested in this conversation than you have been with anyone ever before.

Alex asks Carly with a bright smile, “How far are you?”

“Twelve weeks.” She grins.

“Who knows?” You have to ask, because you need to silently scream about this to someone after they have gone.

“Just the parents and now you two.” Adam tells you, “Had to come and tell my sister before the rest of them.”

Once again, the love and pride you feel for them being in your family and now making their own hits you square in your chest. You’re so overjoyed for them. You can’t wait to phone your Aunt as soon as Adam leaves.

“You’re gunna be a proper Auntie.” Adam grins and that makes your heart burst and tears threaten to come to your eyes again.

Alex pulls you into a little side hug as he laughs as he tells your cousin, “You’re going to have her sobbing.”

“I saw your eyes well up Turner, it’s not all on her.” Adam outs him which makes you giggle a little as Alex’s hug brings you some comfort.

“Are you going to find out if it's a little boy or girl?” You have to ask them.

And Carly excitedly tells you, “No, we’re going to wait.”

“I’m so so happy for you.” Is the one thing you keep repeating.

After talking and congratulating them for another 5 minutes, Adam nudges Carly with an excited look on his face and says, “We better go and tell the others.”

“Who are you telling today?” You have to ask so you don’t blab about it to someone you’re not meant to.

“The boys.” Adam grins, “Can’t not tell them.”

You chuckle a little as you think about it, “You’re going to make Matty cry.”

“What an early birthday present for him, ey?” Carly grins as she gets up to hug you, “But we’re telling him last because he will tell the others before we get a chance to.”

Alex laughs hearing that, “Probably a good idea.” as he pulls Adam into a hug.

“Yeah I know my big mouthed best mate well.” Adam laughs, hugging your boyfriend goodbye.

As you hug Carly, you promise her, “Your little one is going to get so spoiled.”

“I know.” You can hear her smile.

And when you pull away from the hug, you look down towards her stomach and you say directly to baby Hann, “I promise I'll give you all the chocolate you want. I’ll be the best Auntie ever.”

Carly giggles at that and when you look back up at her, she assures you, “You will be.”

“I love you,” You have to hug her again after that, “You’re going to be the best Mum in the world and thank you so much for making my little brother happy and giving him his own family.”

“We love you.” Carly tears up hearing you say that and she gives you a tight squeeze before she pulls back and puts a hand on her stomach and says, “And we can’t wait to meet this little one. He’s going to love you just as much as we do.”

“If you need anything please let me know.” You offer, “Anything, honestly.”

“Well, we might rope you into painting some animals or something in the nursery.” Adam grins as he moves so he can hug you now.

“Just say the word, I’ll bring everything, I’ll do anything.” You offer up your services, as it would be an honour to do for them. You can already picture the room that they would use in their house, it will be so cute.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell Adam as you squeeze him tightly.

“Don’t make me cry any more.” Adam laughs, “It’s been an emotional few months.”

“I bet.” You giggle before you tell him sincerely, “I love you so much Bro.”

Adam squeezes you tightly, “I love you too B.”

After the couple leave, you and Alex have a silent scream together, entirely buzzing that the family is going to be extended. Alex can’t help but feel like it's his brother that’s having a baby too, he feels just as happy as when all the other Monkeys told him that they were expecting.

But this hitting you so hard as it's your actual family has him feeling the joy even more intensely, and Alex fully intends to marry you one day so Adam is his actual family now too. Both of you know it’s the lives of being an only child that makes it feel even more special, but you’ve never felt so happy for someone before.

“Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Alex, ey?” Alex brings you out of your thoughts. “Great ring to it.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” You grin and you get a little emotional again.

But that happens for the rest of the day. When you phone your Aunt up, you get in your feelings about hoping that you’ll be as good of an auntie as her to baby Hann and both of you just cry on the phone to each other for a long while as you wait for the others to find out.

You cry when each of the boys phone you after they have been told. It’s unsurprising they started with Ross as he is the most calm and collected of them all. And then they went to George and then Matty and by the time Matty found out it was about 6pm.

Instead of phoning you like he was going to, Matty drove to yours and Alex’s house in the rain so he could get excited with you both in person. And the three of you really did. You were planning gifts for them, Matty had a few ideas of things he wanted to commission you to paint for them (things you will absolutely not be charging for).

The other boys came round later in the evening too to join you and you all had the best time. You did phone Adam and Carly to come back too but they were driving up to Sheffield so they could tell Y/B/F and Charlie before going back to Manchester to tell more of your family.

All of you toast to Adam, Carly, and Baby Hann and the cutest family in the world that they will be. And with how much everyone in your house adores that couple, you know you’re all going to be the happiest family. You have no doubt at all.

~*~*~*~ 11th June 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Do you fancy a road trip?” You question your boyfriend as he stops playing his guitar. You walk into his music room and stand behind him as he’s on his stool to hug him from behind and you pre-warn him, “It’s a long one.”

Alex asks you curiously as he stops playing, “Where to?”

“Well it’s this place right, and someone wrote a song about it.” You try and fail to hold your grin as you answer him without actually answering him, “But it’s going to take us more than a forty-five minute drive to get there but not quite a seven hour flight.”

Alex puts his guitar down hearing and twists around on his stool. You see a surprised yet pleased look on his face, but his smile is bright when he wraps his arms around your waist and asks, “You wanna go back home?”

“Yeah,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as you smile. “I need to go to my old house. My tenants are moving out so I need to decorate and get it back on the market.”

Your boyfriend's smile gets so much bigger hearing that and he excitedly grins, “So we’re going back to 505?”

“Yes.” You giggle loving the grin on his face, “About a week's trip if you’re willing to help me decorate?”

Alex leans forward to kiss you sweetly before nodding, “Course I will.” because there isn’t a chance he would miss going back to where it all started.

“Amazing.” You grin and because you’re a fool and you’re completely and hopelessly in love with the man in front of him, you quickly sit on his lap and shout over to your Amazon speaker, “Echo, play 505 by Arctic Monkeys.”  

And Alex chuckles as the song begins to play before he pulls you into a kiss.

~*~*~*~

Walking into your old home after your tenants handed you the keys back was a little strange. Obviously the place had been gutted and it was back at its barebones, almost exactly how you left it years ago.

Alex joined you at the front door after the family drove away and he held your hand as you unlocked the house and stepped inside. It’s been years since you actually had to come back into this house, and it’s a little eerie being back.

Memories of your childhood and teenage years flood back to you, both happy and sad ones as you both walk around the lounge, dining room, and kitchen. This home ultimately just makes you miss your Dad though, that's the overall feeling when you first walk in.

The memories of you and your friends chilling out in the lounge or kitchen come back to you and make you smile as you wonder back around the rooms that used to be the only home you knew. You find yourself getting really nostalgic as you walk around.

You only have very few memories of your Dad, but the ones you remember of him playing with you when you were a child, you tell Alex as you pass the spots in your old home that they happened in. Alex smiles and asks you questions about him and you answer all of them. You love that he wants to know more about him and what he was like.

Alex was always one of the few friends that always had asked what your Dad was like and that was something you appreciated because you didn’t want to bury his memory like your Mum usually does. So you tell him anecdotes that you either remember yourself or that you’ve been told about as you explore the hold house.

The stories were more family based whilst you were down the stairs, but as soon as you go up the stairs and you open the door to your old bedroom, you go silent. With Alex only a step behind you, the wave of nostalgia really hits you. For the briefest second, when you opened the door you could picture it as your bedroom again.

The old box TV constantly on the music channel in the corner, the low bed, your drawings pinned to your wall, your fairy lights hanging around your window, sheets upon sheets of poetry you printed off for free at school littering your floor. As you step into the room, you can practically picture everything clear as day.

Something feels lighter about being in the room now than it did the last time you were in it. You remember not wanting to be in this house so badly when you left it in 2008, but now it feels less bitter and it only brings back the good memories.

Memories must be flooding back to Alex too, because as you look around Alex watches you as he leans against your door frame and he smiles as he quietly says, “Where it all began, hey?”

Your cheeks go hot hearing that and you try not to grin like an idiot. The memories of that night really hit you hard as you're standing in this room and it's unsurprising when you get a little flustered and have to look away from him.

“How long after did you write the song?” You have to ask as you sit on the edge of the bed frame that the family had left behind.

“God,” Alex chuckles, “It was in the drafts for a while.”

Your boyfriend walks into the room and sits down on the floor in front of you then, looking up at you as he recalls, “I think some of it straight after… But it was mostly when I started thinking about you again when we became really close friends that it got all horny.”

“Teenage you was something else.” You giggle.

“Was just thinking back to us in here every time I saw you and my mind went straight down the gutter.” Alex owns up to it. “Rarely stopped thinking about you Angel.”

You smile hearing your nickname being said in the room he first said it in. But you can’t help but point that out, “You called me that for the first time in here.”

“Almost in the exact same positions, just swapped.” Alex grins, remembering it fondly.

You hum in amusement, “Yeah, didn’t take me giving you head to call it me this time.”

“God,” Alex groans a little, playfully saying, “That was the best night of my life.”

“Not exactly what I recall you saying last weekend, but sure, we will go with the night we lost our virginities.” You laugh a little then as Alex gets to his knees to shuffle forward to kiss you and shut you up.

He kisses you like you’ve both got all the time in the world, which you guess you do. Your fingers lace into his hair which if styled differently, he could probably look like he did back when the both of you lost your virginities.

Alex playfully bites your bottom lip to pull you into another kiss when you went to pull away from him, but you indulge him for a little longer. You try your best not to smile and ruin the moment but it gets a little difficult because you’re so happy.

Your heart feels like it could burst out of your chest with how much you love the man that’s kissing you. You just know he’s it for you, your everything, and the fact you're in the room where it all started has you a little emotional.

When you eventually pull away, you lean your forehead against his just to savour the moment with him.

After a silent minute, it’s Alex who asks as he pulls back and looks around the blank room,  “So where do you want to start?”

“Trip to B&Q and get the beige and white paints for all the rooms and we paint the days away?” You think out loud.

Alex nods approving of your plan and he smiles as he sits back on the floor.

“Sorry it’s a little boring.” You apologise in advance.

You know this won’t be as much fun as you both decorating your house because you’re basically taking the house's character away to let whoever ends up moving in to have a blank canvas to make their own. It will be a lot of boring white, grey, and beige painting of walls for the both of you.

But Alex shakes his head and assures you, “Nothing’s boring with you.”

That makes your heart ache with the love that you have for him again. And instead of saying it for the millionth time today, you show him in your own special way.

You smile as you tap your collarbone and you adore the way that your boyfriend’s face lights up completely. Alex’s own heart swells seeing you tap the words he once wrote you that have proudly displayed on your body and whilst he wants to tell you that he loves you verbally again, he settles for smiling back at you and tapping his own collarbone.

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2021 ~*~*~*~

Today you’ve given yourself the afternoon off painting 505 because it’s your birthday tomorrow and Y/B/F asked if you’d come round and see her which you and Alex currently are doing.

You’ve made plans to go out with them both for your birthday tomorrow and you’d had a great catch up with them. But you and Alex are currently in your old bedroom boxing up the last of your things to move down to your new home.

Both you and your boyfriend were left to do this after your best friend and her fiancé asked if you wouldn’t mind. Of course with not living with her at all anymore, you said it was fine and going through your stuff really wasn’t a hardship. It felt like you were going through your old memories with each thing that you picked up.

Alex is of course being a gem and helping you. And he’s currently taking all of your old books from your shelves and boxing them up for you as you collect the last of your shit from the drawers under your desk.

You’ve been going through things for about half an hour now, and you’ve already filled 3 boxes of stuff when Alex asks, “You’ve never read this have you?”

And when you turn to see which book he means, you immediately know he’s right. You never ended up reading that book he gave you.

It was the book he hand delivered to you that day you were packing to go back over to your Aunt and Uncles for their wedding. The same day Matty came around a little after him and they both made you try your dress on for them, and you remember just thanking Alex for the book and putting it straight on your shelf where you clearly forgot to pick it back up and read it.

“No, I guess we sent that many to each other I never got around to that one. I'm sorry.” You apologise as you walk over to him.

“It’s okay…”Alex smiles, genuinely not minding as it was only an old poetry book at the end of the day. Lot of memories in this book.”

“How'd you mean?” You ask.

Alex taps the book a few times before he reveals, “This was sort of the final nail in the coffin for me and Alexa.”

Of all things, you really weren’t expecting Alex to say that.

“What?” You ask a little dumbfounded.

Alex sighs like he’s finally just got something off his chest, “Yeah.” And you see that he then checks a page near the back of the book and reads over whatever it is before he smiles slightly and closes it again.

Still confused about why a book Alex ended up giving to you helped end his relationship with his ex, you end up needing to get clarity, “I thought that yours and Alexa’s schedules-”

“It was that.” Alex jumps in, confirming your right, “But when she came back to the flat in New York when we were on the break before we properly split, just after we were talking things out she found that book and she read the quote in the back that I annotated about a month after we started on the break of sorts.”

“I don’t remember you telling me about a break.” You say honestly, because you just remember how heart wrenched he was about the split.

“I didn’t want to tell you.” Alex tells you honestly, “I didn’t tell anyone, until now I guess.”

“I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her anymore and this proved it.” Alex shakes the book in his hand, not looking sad about anything, maybe just a little nostalgic which you understand.

But you can’t say you’re not curious when Alex explains, “She wasn’t angry or upset with what she saw, probably the reason why we’re still on alright terms because we’d been growing apart for a while before that anyway… But yeah, she read that and she was moving her stuff the same afternoon, and the day after I was on the phone to you telling you I was coming home.”

It seems a lot to process as you’ve not heard about any of this before now. But you have to know what’s been lying dormant on your shelf all these years.

“What did you write?” You ask curiously.

Alex hands you the book, his finger holding the page open for you, “Read it.”

And when you open it, you really weren’t expecting what you found.

~~~

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self-respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all she should be. I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

This is how I feel about you Angel, always and forever. AT x

~~~

“You're an idiot.” You shake your head as you read the quote and his writing over and over again.

Alex knows he is. The month that he and Alexa went on their break he had been leaning on your friendship so much more and just from that month and every other part of your history, it made him realise his huge mistake.

And reading that poetry book that he found in particular which was all about love, it made him think so much of what he had felt for you in the past and what never really went away, and not what he was feeling for Alexa anymore. It was when he knew he needed to call it off for good.

Alexa just happened to pick up the book to see if it was hers but when she opened it and saw that at the back, they both knew it was time. Time to separate and go back home and for him to deal with his real feelings.

Alex doesn’t expect it, but when you look back up at him he sees that you’re a little teary eyed when you say, “You could have saved us a lot of time if you told me I needed to read this back when you handed it to me.”

Your heart feels like it's swelling and aching with longing in your chest as you tell your boyfriend, “This is the shit I dreamed of happening to me when I was younger.”

Alex pulls you into a hug, and you hold him tightly still not fully believing that has been on your shelf for the past decade and you’d not once touched it.

Your boyfriend makes you chuckle when he playfully says, “I think it’s your fault you didn’t read it sooner, if I'm honest.”

Knowing he’s only joking, you chuckle as you say earnestly, “I really wish I had done now.” and you hold him impossibly closer.

“It's always been you Y/N/N,” Alex tells you, and he kisses your temple before he admits, “Just took me a long while to realise it.”

You genuinely have to take a few minutes in his arms to process it, and when you eventually do, you look up at the love of your life and tell him once again, “I love you, Shakespeare.”

“I love you so much more, Angel.” Your boyfriend smiles before he leans down and kisses you sweetly.

Just as you’re about to let each other go and get back to your separate jobs, a voice shouting the both of you stops you.

“You two best not be shagging in the baby's future room!” You hear Y/B/F yell but it makes you and Alex stop dead.

You’re frozen in your spot for a solid few seconds just looking at your boyfriend as you both process the words you just heard. You have to ask him, “Did she just?”

“She did.” Alex answers immediately and he looks to your old bedroom door.

Both of you walk towards it and immediately walk back into the lounge seeing Y/B/F and Charlie sitting there with grins on their faces. You don’t have to ask because you know from the look on her face that she said that on purpose and that she is pregnant.

But you don’t blame Alex for wanting the confirmation, “Are you?”

Both of them nod before saying, “We’re pregnant.”

The way you dive for Y/B/F would be funny to her if she wasn’t already getting teary. The hug she receives is the best and biggest you’ve probably ever given each other but how can you not when your best friend since you were 3 years old has just told you that she’s expecting her own baby.

This is again another thing you really weren’t expecting to happen today and the mascara running down your cheeks is enough proof of that. You sit and cry with your best friend for a solid five minutes as you get information out of her.

“You can’t tell anyone yet, it's too early, but I missed my period and only just realised.” She tells you as you wipe each other's tears away, “Charlie got us in with his friend for a quick scan after the test came back positive… I’m ten weeks.”

Tears are freely running down your face when you ask, “When did you find out?”

“Yesterday.” She tells you, “I was going to phone you, but then Charlie phoned his friend and got us the appointment for yesterday afternoon just to make sure everything was fine because I didn’t know and I’ve had a few drinks this past month.”

“And everythings okay?” You have to know before she continues explaining.

“Yeah, everything's fine.” Y/B/F nods, getting emotional again as she confirms, “We’re all fine and healthy. ”

Your best friend grabs your hand as she continues, “And then I was going to tell you to come last night but you’d already texted asking if you could come today and I wanted to tell you both in person.”

She looks at Alex then and you look at him for the first time since you found out and it makes you more emotional when you see he’s all teary eyed for her. You can see the love he has for her plain as day on his features and you feel like you probably look the exact same. This is just as important to you as finding out Adam is having a baby.

You get a little nostalgic, thinking back to the days when you used to think about this moment in your futures, and you ask your best friend, “Remember when we always thought we’d both find out if one of us was pregnant when we’re with each other?”

“I was telling Charlie.” She laughs nodding, and looks at her fiance who looks just as emotional as the rest of you.

“She said you’d be pissed she wasn’t with you when she did the test.” The nurse tells you with a little laugh.

“Not angry, don't worry.” You chuckle and wipe away your tears, “Just very very happy.”

And after you give your best friend a kiss on her cheek you get up to give Alex a moment with her whilst you open your arms up to her fiance.

“Charlie, give me a hug please.” And he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you tightly.

You hug and talk for a little while as you tell him how happy you are for the both of them. And of course you cry a little, but for you and Charlie that’s standard. That’s how your friendship began and you don’t plan on changing anything about that.

And then you think about what brought him into your life and you can’t believe that it was almost 8 years ago now.

“Don’t shout at me for saying it, but I really never thought I would say it and actually mean it,” And you’re entirely honest when you say, “But I’ve never been so happy that car crash happened.”

And you do actually mean it. You’d go through it all again if it meant everyone in your life would be as happy as they are right now.

“Shut up, you idiot.” Y/B/F scorns you straight away but you don’t care. But she does make you smile when she says, “I would have found him anyway... It was fate we would meet. I have no doubt about it.”

“I do too.” You laugh a little, having no doubt about it. But then you look at your best friend and really look at her and how happy she is and tears spring to your eyes again. You can’t help but tell her, “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She pulls you in for another big hug and you wish you could stay in it forever.

You truly love this woman more than any other on the planet. Yes, you always call George your soulmate but in reality it’s this woman in your arms that has got you through every part of your life. And you’ll love her forever for being there for you as much as she has.

You can’t wait for her to have this baby and eventually marry Charlie who is the person that makes her the happiest in the world… Wait, the wedding.

“And before the wedding,” You shake your head and look down at her stomach and tap it gently, gently scorning the baby, “You’re ruining the hen party I’ve planned out, young one.”

They are due to get married in 2 months time. After all the push backs they have had because of the pandemic, you know they won't postpone again, but this means you definitely can’t be doing the things you’ve planned for the hen party. But you guess you’ll let your unborn niece or nephew off just this once.

Charlie, Alex, and Y/B/F laugh hearing you say that and you chuckle a little too as your best friend promises you, “We will go all out as soon as they arrive, I promise… Two drinks and I'll be plastered then after not drinking for so long.”

After an afternoon full of crying and telling each other you love each other a million times, your best friend hugs tightly as you’re saying goodbye to each other and whispers, “Happy early birthday present.”

You grin as you try your best not to burst into more tears, you’re so happy, “Best birthday ever.”

~*~*~*~ July 6th 2021 ~*~*~*~

For the last month with only a few days off for your birthday, you’ve been finishing up 505 and you must admit, for days you couldn’t wait to be done. Decorating was tiring but also really fun when you have your best friend who’s also your boyfriend at your side helping you out.

Alex made everything fun. Whether that just be his playful nature or keeping you motivated with the amazing playlist he put together to keep you going it always did the trick. His flirting was also encouraging, even if sometimes it ended up hindering your progress.

For example, when you both got to decorating your old bedroom, the flirting was off the charts. Your cheeks were hot all day and it got no better when you ended up having a small fight with the paints that ended up with both of your clothes coming off and paint ended up everywhere. On your legs, on your arms, on your face, and other places that the both of you found comical when you had to wash it off each other in the shower.

The way each of you could tell where your hands had been was the funniest part of it and it made your cheeks heat up as you could practically still feel his touch all over you with the visual reminder helping the memories come back.

And whilst that was a fun day, the rest of the days all seemed to blur into one long and boring project. You just wanted to add more colour to everything but you knew you couldn’t for the sake of the new tenants.

But today is the day. You’ve finally finished painting the entire house.

Everything looks clean and brand new and you’re so fucking thankful its all done. And you can tell Alex is too.

You lean back into your boyfriend as he wraps his arms around your waist and hugs you from behind. Smiling at the trail of kisses he presses onto your shoulder and up your neck, you praise the both of you, “We finally finished.”

“I think we should celebrate.” Alex says as he leaves a teasing kiss on your neck.

“We can’t shag again, Al.” You shake your head, knowing that you really can’t.

Yes the time in your old bedroom was fun, but you’re decorating for it to be someone else's home. You can’t defile it before you put it back up to rent out.

He laughs into your ear which makes you chuckle too, but you feel him shake his head, “No, look outside… The weather is stunning. Let's go get some food from the shop and a bottle of something and let's go to the park. We can’t stay in here, the paint fumes will kill us off.”

You smile knowing that ‘go to the park’ means go to your spot. And you think it’s a good idea.

“Get a taxi back to the flat later then?” You crane your neck so you can look back at him.

“Yeah,” Alex nods, “It's going to be a stunning evening. Let's grab a blanket and some wine and food and let's just stay in the park.”

You’re grinning like an idiot, “Yeah, good idea.”

And the both of you are sitting under your cherry blossom tree within an hour of leaving 505. The air is warm and you end up having a picnic of sorts to start off with.

Both of you got a lot of food from the shop before coming here and you both indulged in all the food you chose. You put the blanket down underneath the tree that is still looking glorious and such a vibrant pink in today's sunlight, and after the picnic you and Alex lay there for a while just relaxing and listening to music.

When you were packing up the last of your stuff at Y/B/F and Charlie’s the other day, you picked up Persuasion to reread and you brought that with you to finish off too. Alex had his own book he was reading so the both of you read peacefully for a long while.

Eventually the two of you needed more light as the sun kept shifting, so the both of you moved to the bench after a little while. And you lay down across it with your head resting on Alex’s thigh as you both continue to read.

Absent-mindedly, you end up holding each other's hand when you get immersed into your novels as Alex’s hand hangs across the back of the bench and you’re ever so slightly reaching up and keep interlacing your fingers with his. It’s peaceful and it's beautiful and you wouldn’t change anything about it and neither would your boyfriend.

The peace is only disturbed if either of you speak up, which isn’t all that often, but when you reread the letter in the book you just get the urge to want to read it out loud so your boyfriend can hear the beautiful words that are on the page as well, “Al, listen to this-”

“What's it about first?” Alex has to ask, needing even just a little bit of context so he can appreciate what you clearly think is good enough for you to want to tell him out loud.

“You’ve not read Persuasion? Austen?” You look up at him and ask curiously, thinking he would have definitely read this one in his time.

But you're left a little surprised when he shakes his head, “No.”

“You want me to tell you?” You ask and Alex smiles and nods prompting you to continue. You explain to him, “Long story short, she was persuaded not to marry this man nearly a decade ago and now he’s just written this to her and it's everything.”

“Okay go on,” Alex prompts you, and Alex listens and watches as you read it for him.

“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.” You trail off a little before the end of the letter Frederick writes to Anne.

You look up into Alex’s eyes and ask, “How beautiful is that? Austen was a fucking genius.”

Alex is already smiling down at you, but he nods, “She really was.”

You talk about it for a little bit before going back to the books again. But silently the both of you think over the line ‘I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it’ a little bit more because you find it so relatable in so many different ways.

But being here with Alex by your side now, you wouldn’t change anything about your own story for the world. You’re the happiest you’ve ever been here with your boyfriend and you love him so much you can sometimes barely find the words to describe how he makes you feel.

The amount of times over the past year you’ve stared at the page in your poetry diary for a good ten minutes wondering where on earth to start writing about how you feel about Alex is something you’ve lost count of. At this point, he is just an extension of yourself. You love him so much that your heart aches in the best way for him all the time.

Even as you spend your day with him doing nothing but reading out here, in your spot in the park, it’s not a waste of a day. And that’s because he’s by your side. You adore spending time with him no matter what you’re doing.  

You end up finishing your book and sitting up beside Alex where you rest your head on his shoulder and look out across the stunning view of Sheffield. It really is a gorgeous place that you grew up in. You miss being here all the time but you’re happy that you always have the excuse to come back up here to see your best friend and to come back to this spot which means the world to you.

Alex ends up putting his book down not long after you and the both of you watch the world go by as the sun slowly starts descending making the sky change colours with it. As it does, Alex starts playing with the jewellery you have on which isn’t all that different from what your quiet moments in your own home end up like.

But this time, your boyfriend smiles as he twists your Death Ramps ring on your little finger with one hand and he hooks his finger into the bracelet he bought you which has the Only Ones Who Know lyrics engraved onto it. Alex sounds really happy as he says, “I’m really happy you still wear these, you know?”

“Well,” You respond playfully, “The person who gave them me means a lot to me.”

Alex smiles and plays along, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod in confirmation, your smile never leaving your lips.

“Sounds like a great guy.” Alex tries not to grin but fails.

“He is.” You confirm for him, “The best I could ask for really... My boyfriend and everything now.”

“Lucky man.” Alex smiles.

You him like you’re not so sure but only because you want to say, “Not as lucky as me.”

The small facade ends when Alex leans in to kiss you, and you kiss him back enjoying the cute moment between you. It’s short and sweet, but it serves the purpose despite the both of you grinning like fools in love through the entire kiss.

“I love you so much.” Alex tells you as he looks into your eyes.

“I love you too, Darling.” You smile, not having called him that nickname in a short while.

“Thank god,” Alex sighs in relief, and you’re about to ask why the playfulness until he continues and it all becomes clear. Despite the big cheesy grin on his face, you know that he isn’t joking when he asks, “Because I really wanted to ask if you’d marry me?”

And then Alex lifts a boxed ring up from beside him and offers it to you, his smile never once wavering.

Yours becomes a million times bigger, as the fact he has a ring in his hand means he’s been planning this for God only knows how long, and the moment was perfect. You don’t waste another second before giving him your answer.

“I’d love to marry you.” You nod, your heart beating erratically in your chest.

“Thank god.” Alex chuckles and before he lets you lean forward and kiss him, he grabs your left hand and he quickly takes the ring out of the box before sliding it onto your finger.

As soon as it’s on, you kiss Alex like your life depends on it. Everything you’re feeling right now is poured into the kiss and it is just pure joy and complete love and adoration for the man you now get to one day marry.

You love him with the whole of your heart and you truly want nothing more than to be his officially. Because you always have been his, one way or another.

You kiss each other until you have no breath left and until you can’t keep the smile off your face as you’re too desperate to tell him you love him over and over again. Alex doesn’t hesitate to keep telling you either.

But once the both of you process the moment enough to tell each other something other than your love for one another, Alex lifts your hand up which is now home to your engagement ring and he asks, “Do you like it?”

You look at it properly now, and it’s just like what you’d always dreamed of sitting on your ring finger. Taking it in and seeing just how happy your fiance is has you telling him, “It’s beautiful.”

Truthfully, you don’t think you’ll ever forget how big Alex’s grin gets as he simply says, “Had to match you.”

And you’re unsure how your heart doesn’t burst there and then. The ache of too much love for the person who’s been your best friend for so many years whilst simultaneously being so much more really overcomes you.

You almost want to scorn him when he gets in there before you to say again, “I love you so much, Angel.”

“I love you so much more Shakespeare.” You giggle, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Alex nods, chuckling to himself as he reiterates those words back to you before he cups your face and pulls you into another kiss of a lifetime.

Austen really got it right. Your heart is more Alex’s than your own at this point. You’ve been through it all together and despite everything, he’s here by your side and you love him with everything you have.

You’re his Angel. He’s your Shakespeare.

Each other’s everything from the very start.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Alex’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Alex and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot All Of You is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more. Can also catch Wheels and Alex’s ending continuing from a distance in Chicken Shop Date and they will appear in Part 5 of it when it eventually comes out (it’ll be faster than this fic I promise).

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: I picked a few poems out for Wheels poems (wish i could have said i wrote them all but I'm not that good). I wrote the one that was about Matty. My friend @drinkurkombucha​ wrote the poems that have titles above them, and the others I found on Instagram. Full credit to the writers of those ones, a few were by courtney peppernell others were found on the lovequotes instagram page.

Taglist: @psychkunox​​​​​​​ @sofiaaraee​​​​​​​ @thewheeler​​ @cold-hands-cold-eyesss​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo​​​​​​​ @vroboat​​​​​​​ @hoodskillerqueen​​​​​​ @woahhealy​​​​​​​ @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk​​​​​​​ @elen-alambil​​​​​​​ @megann-duff​​​ @alexsvacuumcleaner​​​​​​​ @bshelley322​​​​​​​ @g0thwat3rr​​​​​​​ @cassieinnit​​​​​​​ @ohmyolympusssywp​​ @filling-thevoid​​​​​​ @xqueenkt​​​​​​​ @indierock4ever @amturners​​​​​​​ @alovesreading​​​​​​​​

[fragrantpines]

i've been thinking about yangzhou rice for the past few hours. he suddenly somersaulted in my brain and now i can't get him out of my head [sighs lovingly]

so beware of this incredibly long ask because here's some of the scenarios i think of <333 i hope you enjoy!! ^^

imagine stargazing with yangzhou under the winter plum blossom tree—you pointing out the constellations while he gazes at you with tender and warm expression; a hint of longing in his emerald green eyes. 

imagine mutual pining with him BUT both of you are afraid to confess to each other because YOU think he doesn't have feelings for you then HE thinks he's not worthy of your affection and reducing himself as a lowly food soul. other food souls are rolling their eyes in annoyance because they want you to get together already!!!!!! [this is cliche i know <3]

imagine staring at the sight in front of you that resembles like a painting that brought out to life—yangzhou laying down on a seabed of various flowers, resting in tranquility; his blonde hair lying down and blown out like waves; a serene expression plastered on his face and some butterflies around him. you fall in love with him even more because of the sight because you're so lucky to have him <333

his first kiss with you are hesitant at first but later on your relationship, he always kisses you desperately and coveting—as if you're a mirage; an illusion that will vanish quickly once he pulls away. he kisses you with a vow for everlasting love; to be always by your side and remain devoted to you. if something or someone breaks the two of you apart just like last time—he'll travel the ends of the earth just to look for you; to find his way back to you because to him—you are his forever home. 

NOW IT'S DONE oh my god and ngl writing these scenarios got me out of my writer's block, i feel refreshed and satisfied!! 

also I WANT TO TEASE YANGZHOU SO BAAAAD BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIS BLUSHING FACE 🥹 he's so adorable and cute when he blushes while getting shy and embarrassed 🥹❤️

okay that's it <333 also i'm the previous anon from before who found your blog and may i be zella anon pls??? i wanna gush more about food men and you seem fun to talk to !! hehe ❤️ enjoy your day and don't forget to hydrate!! 

– zella

Kicking my feet in the air while screaming because this entire thing is so so CUTE. I adore every single imagine here and the way each one written is (chef kiss) amazing, beautiful, showstopping, spectacular just like Yangzhou himself. Especially that last one because I can imagine when Yangzhou decides to pull away, he does it hesitantly as evident from his lips that shake the moment they part from yours and his hand that doesn't wish to let go of the warmth underneath his palm-- your warmth that he so desperately craves every waking moment, wishing that he could hold everywhere he went to but alas, Kongsang needs its master more than he needs you; and that very thought is enough to shake him to the core.

"I love you," he whispers, a silent plead for you to stay a little longer. If that isn't enough to convince you, then maybe another kiss will, and another, and another, and maybeeeee another....

Snsosnsksnjd I'm turning red but you get the idea. Also, you can absolutely be Zella anon and continue gushing about food men here. My inbox is always open for gushing, talking and ideas so feel free to drop by whenever!! Take care and hope you have a nice day 💕💕💕

[googleitlol]

My Beloved: Ch. 8

Calabash?

Yeah I was looking for a gif to fit this chapter and decided “oh shit” Wukong worked well enough lol

My eyes slowly opened, the sweet scent of lavender greeting me from my sleep. As I blinked the drowsiness of sleep away, I slowly began to frown. This is not my room.

Sitting up, I scanned the strange and unfamiliar surroundings. The large bedroom was vacant except for the bed I sat on, a wardrobe in the corner and a vanity across from the bed with a large mirror. The action of sitting up so quickly left me lightheaded and I frowned slightly, my hand raising to my head in support.

My brain felt sluggish, like a heavy fog had casted over to leave me wandering through an unfamiliar ground. Taking another look around, my eyes widened as I stared at myself in the mirror. What was I wearing?!

Instead of my usual outfit, I was dressed in a violet hanfu. The upper garment had white blossom-embroidery, the sash had a white ribbon that was tied in a four-looped bow on my side. I haven't worn one of these in ages... wait. "Where are my clothes?!"

Looking under the lapel, I sighed. I was still wearing my clothes underneath. The question still remained, though. Where was I and why the heck was I dressed like this? How did I get here?

The door the the room slowly opened, as if whoever was there could hear my inner thoughts and had come to answer. Out stepped a handsome young man, wearing a male hanfu of the same colours as my own, strangely enough, minus the embroidery. His long silver hair fell down past his shoulders. His eyes had an entrancing violet hue, complimenting the warm smile that formed on his face.

Damn. Oh, damn.

"You're awake." He smiled, stepping into the room. I tensed at his approach. Sure, man looked good and damn was his voice smooth, but I had no idea who he was and why I was here. He paused at my hesitation, smile faltering. "Excuse my manners, you must be confused. I am Jiao Min, who may you be?"

I blinked for a second. "I'm, uh, Yi Lian."

"Lian." Jiao Min smiled, testing out my name. "I found you unconscious not far from my home, you looked tired and in need of rest so I brought you here." He explained, gesturing to the room.

I tried my best to hide my frown of suspicion. What kind of fantasy novel was I living? I could've sworn I was at home earlier, now I'm in some random hot guy's house? Maybe I'd feel safer knowing where exactly I was.

"Thank you for helping me but I don't think I could bother you any longer. If you could show me to the door, I can get out of your hair." I smiled weakly, trying my best to ignore the throbbing of my head.

The man nodded. "Of course. However, I am not sure you should go out in the storm overhead."

"I'll just take the bus."

"Hmm..." He hummed, concern etching itself over his features.

I frowned. "What is it?"

He looked up at me with an apologetic look. "I don't believe you'll find any public transit nearby."

"Why?"

.

.

.

What the actual hell?!

Jiao Min led me to the entrance of his home, opening the door to reveal an insanely intense storm outside. Trees were practically horizontal from the harsh winds, rain poured down like the clouds intended to turn land into sea. Thunder crackled loudly overhead after a strike of lightning.

What surprised me the most, though, was the dense forest around the house. Where the hell am I?! There was no signs of the city anywhere. No cars, tall buildings, nothing!

I stared out at the wilderness with a defeated look as Min slowly closed the door. "I apologize for your situation. Had it not been for the storm, I would offer to take you home myself."

"No, no, it's okay." I shook my head as I thought of what to do next.

"You're most welcome to stay until the storm passes. I was actually preparing for dinner before checking in on you." Min offered, making me look back to him.

I looked back to my host, fighting against the underlying sensation in my head. "Sure... I guess I'm getting hungry."

"Excellent." Jiao Min took my hand into his own with a smile and I tried not to let him see the growing crimson of my face. I'd have to keep my guard up but damn, it had really been a hot minute since I've felt like this.

Sure, I've been 'courted' by many men through the centuries and dated every now and then, but since little MK wandered into Pigsy's shop all those years ago, I'd been more focused on the kid than guys. And Jiao Min made it very difficult to not focus on him.

No, stop! Bad Lian, you don't know him! Besides, hot charismatic guys don't just appear to sweep hopeless romantic hearts away. Stay alert!

Taking my hand, the boy guided me down several halls to a dining area. There, a table was set with an array of dishes, from what I could tell were all Shandong cuisine. Jiao Min pulled out a chair for me to sit in, the aroma of the dishes wafting into the air made my mouth water.

"I do hope you find the meal well, it was my mother's recipe." He pushed in my chair before sitting himself next to me. As he did, a soft glimmer on my wrist caught my attention. I hadn't noticed til now but there was a silver bangle on my wrist. One end resembled a fox head while the other was its fluffy tail.

When did I get this? With a frown, I reached down to inspect it when Min took my hand again from his seat. "Forgive me for saying this, Zuanshi, but despite the circumstances, it is nice to have another guest for dinner." He admitted as my cheeks flushed. "My home is quite large, though I am it's only occupant."

"Oh, I mean, does your family not live with you?" I asked, my eyes glancing away in an attempt to not show how his little nickname made me blush.

He sighed. "Unfortunately, my mother passed not long ago. She and my father have reunited, leaving me with their home."

I frowned a bit, looking down at my food. The fog was getting more dense as I tried to think of a response. "...And their culinary skills, it seems." Min smiled at the words.

"Yes, indeed. Please, tell me what you think." He smiled as I looked down at the golden silk noodles before me. Taking a bite of the meal, I could feel my eyes sparkle. Nothing could compare to Pigsy's, but this could definitely be a close second.

My reaction made the man chuckle and I looked back at him, mid-stuffing my face with the dish. After a pause, I quickly readjusted myself and cleared my throat. "It's good."

"I can see that." He smirked, making my face grow hotter.

To save face, I quickly changed the topic. "So if you live here all alone, what do you do to pass time?"

"I find various ways to keep myself occupied." He replied, eyes trailing behind me to the wall. "I've found painting helps the time go by."

Following his gaze, I let out a small gasp at the artwork that lined the wall. Many pieces were landscapes, all varying in ecosystem with some with wildlife running across the canvases. "They're beautiful, Min."

I stood to walk over to the art, admiring it. The shades of white and silver in his winter pieces were as vivid as the greens in his summer landscapes. From just a glance it was obvious the work put into his paintings.  "Have you been to these places?" The man nodded.

"In my travels I have seen many wonders and wish to replicate the natural beauty of the earth." He explained, standing next to my form. Min met my eyes with a smirk.  "I strive to capture the essence of our world on paper... Though, it seems I have found a beauty that rivals both my muse as well as my art."

His words made me pause, my eyes wide and cheeks flushed. There was no way he just... but he looked on at me, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes from my reaction. A small giggle was all I could express, his flirting had left me speechless. Damn, I've been out of the game for too long.

Ignoring my inability to communicate, he looked back to his work. "Tell me, are you an artist?"

It took me a moment to recollect my thoughts. "Oh, um... no, not really. Heh, I'm not much of a painter."

"Well, an artist can be more than just a painter." He smiled. "A sculptor, an inventor, perhaps... even a blacksmith."

I frowned at that. "A blacksmith?"

"Why, of course." I felt a hand slide around my waist as he began guiding me to another room. It appeared to be where he painted, judging by the inks and paper sitting on a low table. Portraits lined the walls here too, though there were different from the ones in the dining area. I probably would have taken more in if I wasn't focus on the hand around my waist.

Why am I not mad at this? Pretty people get away with everything.

I tried my best to listen to his words. "The design of a spear, the intricacies in the hilt of a sword, each of the choices made with a purpose. The weapons with the most care put into them are often those that are most powerful." He walked me over to a painting of the Qixing Baojian, a well-known sword of the celestial dipper.

"Really?" I looked up to the man, who met my gaze with half-lidded eyes.

"Of course. Like the creation of a diamond." He cupped the side of my face with his other hand and I felt my breath escape my lips as his thumb swiped across my cheek. "With the right heat... and pressure, the most precious of artifacts can be formed."

I subconsciously leaned into his hand, gazing into his strange violet eyes. They completely held my attention, I could barely even notice how he leaned down, his forehead touching my own.

The hand on my waist moved to my back, the other to the back of my head. My own hand found it's way to the side of his face, my other resting on his broad shoulders. For just a moment, everything was bliss...

Then, from the corner of my eye, a portrait caught my attention. I paused as a white sword sat against the wall, the painting capturing all its glory. The blade almost glowed, a stark contrast to the ebony hilt. The sword's hilt was tasseled with silver threads that shimmered in the reflection of a light that wasn't even there. There were carvings on the hilt and guard that were a pure white and seemed to resemble... blossoms?

The beauty of the sword had all but captured my attention in that brief moment. Taking in the moment again, my eyes widened. What am I doing? No! Bad Lian! What would MK think?

I stepped away from Min before our lips could meet, the fog now heavy in my mind. What was I thinking? I'm never this easily trusting, I just met this guy! Even when I used to date, I needed a background check as well as three references before even going out with another guy.

And MK... he must be worried sick! He has no idea where I am, why didn't I think of calling him sooner? "Lian?" Jiao Min gave me a look of concern.

"I'm sorry, I just had a thought..." I shook my head, turning away to gather my thoughts. Taking another look around the room, I frowned. The portraits, all of them were of weapons... they all gave me some strange feeling. "I should have told my friends I'm alright, they must be worried sick."

Patting myself down, I couldn't seem to find my phone. "Where is it? I thought I—" My thoughts froze as I saw the device on the table. Not to arouse suspicion, I looked around a little more. "Do you have a phone I could use quickly to call someone?"

"Sorry... mine is charging at the moment." As he spoke, I made sure to be quick and grab my phone while he wasn't looking. "You are most welcome to use it when it has power."

I nodded slowly. "Right..." My head started to ache now, making it difficult to form any thoughts. "I'm not feeling so well, I think I'll lay down and wait for the storm to pass in bed, heh." I mumbled, backing out of the room.

"If you wish." The man smiled as I exited. Once he was no longer in sight, I made a beeline back to the bedroom. My head was pounding, the fog growing thicker each second passing.

Reaching the room, I sat down at the vanity and opened my phone. A pit opened in my stomach at the sight of several missed calls and messages, all from MK and Pigsy.

Over fifty texts and twenty missed calls. Not only that, there was also a notification saying my location was still... turned off? When did I do that? Placing the device on the desk of the vanity, I quickly tapped on my little brother's icon, the boy picked up the phone immediately.

"Li! Are you okay? Where've you been?" He shouted, voice laced in worry. "I haven't seen you since yesterday!"

I frowned. "I saw you this morning, we had breakfast before work."

"What are you talking about? That was Friday morning, today's Saturday! Where are you?"

"I'm... I'm in a house, ina forest." I had to lean against the vanity, my words slurring as my limbs grew heavy.

My brother seemed flabbergasted. "A forest?! Where did you go???" There was another voice on his end. "Yeah, she said a forest. I know we live in the city! How should I know?! Lian, did you go on a hike or something?"

I shook my head before realizing he couldn't see me. "I th— I think I got—caught in the storm..."

"What storm?"

My eyes widened at the question. What storm? The one that was outside right now! What was he talking about? "Li, it's been sunny all day."

"...I need to get out of here." I muttered, my throbbing head now in relentless pain. The fake storm, the attempted... and successful seduction, I knew what this was. Before I could say anything else, a voice made me freeze.

"My, my... it's seems you've found your phone." I looked up to see Jiao Min at the door. My reaction delayed, I shot out of my seat, the chair falling back at my action. The aching intensified as I did, making me wobble on my feet.

"Lian, talk to me. What's going on?"

I leaned against the wall for support, my limbs sluggish. MK's voice was a distant echo from the phone speaker as Jiao Min approached.  "Feeling drowsy, are we?"

"Lian! Who is that?"

"Wha... What did you do to me?" I glared at the man who let out a soft chuckle. Why couldn't this just be a nice hot guy??

It was like his entire demeanour changed. Arms crossed, he narrowed his eyes in my direction. "Don't worry, I can make it go away. You just have to do what I say."

"Hey! If you go anywhere near my sister, you'll have to deal with the Monkey Man—" MK was quickly silenced as Min ended the call.

He stepped closer as I backed up further against the wall. I tried my best to summon any False Weapon, but they flickered in and out of existence. "Stay away! I've met enough demons to know what you're trying to do." I hissed, seemingly amusing the man.

"Oh, you think of me as one of those dogs that prey on humans to eat them, is that it?" He chuckled darkly with a shake of his head. "Let me introduce myself properly."

He continued to advance, backing me into a corner. "I am a huli jing." He smirked, looking down at me.

"I know what you are, fox, you demons create illusions and take the life force of others." I growled, my eyes quickly glancing around to find something I could use in defence.

He hummed lightly. "I like to think of myself as more sophisticated than that." The fox leaned over, his voice a whisper in my ear. "You know, I've always heard rumours of you, Celestial Balcksmith."

"Celestial what?" I frowned, confused from the pain and now from his words.

He studied my face with a wicked grin. "Mystery of the Heavenly Court, said to have been the creator of some of the most dangerous weapons on Earth." As he spoke, my thoughts wound back to the art room. "Your power pulsing through them, power you've been feeding into my little trinket since I brought you here."

He grabbed my hand, holding it up to reveal the bangle sitting on my wrist. Stepping back with a prideful scoff, he watched as I struggled to pry the jewelry off, to no avail. "Don't bother, the wearer can't remove it. Now, you have two options, my little Zuanshi." I stopped in my attempts to fix him with an intense glare.

"You can keep letting me feed off your power and stay trapped here for the rest of your immortal life, or you can be more cooperative and give me what I want." The fox crossed his arms with a boastful smile. "I prefer the first one, personally, but either is fine."

"What do you want from me?" I narrowed my eyes, fighting through the pain as I looked down to his sash.

The demon answered quickly. "Your last creation, your little pet project said to have been your most powerful. Capable of ending confrontations in a single strike." The description forced me to go through the words again. He thinks I made something like that?

"You got the wrong person. I don't know what you're talking about." I explained, stepping off the wall only to stumble.

Jiao Min was quick to catch me in his arms, an eyebrow raised to extenuate his smug look. "So you choose to wither with me?"

Perfect. "I choose this." Stepping back with the trail of his sash in hand, I gave a harsh tug to pull him back to me. As he tumbled forward, I raised my fist to deck him clean in his jaw.

He fell onto his back with a thud, hands quickly raising to his perfect jaw as he rolled onto his side in pain. Wasting no time, I grabbed my phone and stumbled into the hall. I was getting out of this sick trap.

Bumping into a few walls, I managed to get back to the front door. Just a few more steps to freedom. Running, I swung the door open to find the storm raging on.

Screw the fake natural disaster! "It's fine, this is all fake. Once I get out, I'll stop seeing it and—"

My thoughts came to an abrupt stop as the wind picked up, harshly throwing me back into the house of doom. I hit the floor with a thud, falling onto my back. With a groan, I massaged my beating head and looked up to see the wind quickly slam the door shut. What was that?!

"That... was unwise." My head swivelled back to see Jiao Min leaning against the wall, his hand massaging his jaw.

With a quick shake of my head, I jumped onto my feet. Guess this was the only way out then. He laughed at my readiness to fight. "You think you can take me? You're ready to fall over any minute now."

I narrowed my eyes at the fox. "Yeah, maybe, but I've also stood against Princess Iron Fan. Point is, I've already gone against way worse and way more attractive demons than you."

The demon growled, charging at me just as I ducked under his punch. Jiao Min was quick to spin around, his foot flying up for a kick I only just managed to block. He was fast, I'd give him that. I was mostly on the defence as he struck fast, barely giving me a chance to breathe.

Dodging another swing, I managed to grab his arm. Pulling him forward, I kicked his foot out from under him. The demon lost his footing enough for me to push him over to the ground.

His recovery was quick, the man flipping onto his back and sweeping my feet from under me. I fell back hard, hitting my head against the wooden floorboards. The throbbing only grew worse as I rubbed the point of collision with a groan. I could barely get up now, my limbs were sluggish and the fog in my head was the thickest it's ever been.

"You're more foolish than I imagined if you thought you could get away." He grinned, standing over me. "Even now, more of your sweet essence is strengthening me. You're in a losing fight, Zuanshi."

Before I could bite back a retort, he scooped me up into his arms. However, the instant he did, the ground shook. Both our eyes widened as the door suddenly went flying off its hinges and hit the demon. Jiao Min dropped me and flew back against the wall, crushed between it and the door. I rolled a few metres away from the impact, groaning in pain as I did.

"Lian!"

Arms wrapped around my back, encasing me in a tight embrace. I laid there, still partially limp in surprise at the action as Monkey King held me tightly in his grasp. He was hugging me like I've never been hugged before, it took me a little off guard. "You're okay... you're okay... you're here."

"...I'm here... could you help me take this off?" I tried my best to lift my arm with the bangle. Monkey King slowly loosened his hold on me, though he still kept me in his arms when the door fell over to reveal a dazed Jiao Min.

He glared at Monkey King. "So, you think you can stop me? You can give it up, Monkey King, with the combined strength from both hers and my own power, you don't stand a chance against—" Monkey King gently laid me back down before turning into a dog.

The change made the fox spirit hiss, jumping back before turning into his original form. The Monkey-Dog-King growled, the fox slowly backing away before retreating further into his home. Once he was gone, Monkey King transformed back, looking rather annoyed. "Stupid fox."

Turning back to me, he took my wrist in his hand and removed the bangle. As he did, the raging storm outside ceased, revealing the setting sun as well as the building in ruin we were really occupying. The large trees outside had turned into buildings that looked to be in the warehouse district.

The fog lifted from my aching head, like a pressure that had been pushing down on me had finally been lifted. "Thanks, I really owe you, heh..." I trailed off as the Monkey King pulled me close, holding me once more.

I'd never seen this from him before. Sure, I saw him everyday as a bird, we've spent a few talks together, but this was different. I'd never seen him so serious, so... worried. Seeing the Great Sage like this was surprising to say the least. "Uh, Monkey King?" He didn't respond.

"Monkey King? ...Wukong?" He looked down at me, I'd never seen such a look on his face. From what I'd seen of him in the past, nothing really seemed to bother him much, but now? He was visibly shaken, his eyes wide.

Whatever trance he was in, he quickly snapped out of it with a shake of his head. "Sorry. Can you stand?"

I took a moment to feel if my legs would respond. "I think I just need a sec, then I can—" I didn't get the chance to finish as I was scooped into his arms. Wukong held me by under my knees and my back, hopping onto his somersault cloud as I held on around his neck for support.

In the blink of an eye, we were soaring in the sky. Sun Wukong was uncharacteristically quiet, worrying me. "How'd you find us?"

"Hmm?" He looked down at me before processing my words. "Oh, I've seen that huli jing skulking around recently. I made sure to keep an eye on him incase he did anything and when I heard you over the kid's phone, I knew it was him. How are you, though?"

I smiled at the question. "Better, now." Thinking about it more, I was beginning to recall what had happened, my mind clearing more now. After Wukong dropped off his daily fruit, I came down to find Pigsy on the brink of having an aneurysm.

"I bet he's off at that stupid zero-gravity arcade! Just you wait, Lian, when he gets back, he's gonna get it!" Pigsy fumed, I stepped back a bit as to not be in his zone of rage.

I checked the Find My Friends app MK and I shared with Mei. "Why don't I go and grab him, Pigsy? It looks like he hasn't left the address of his last drop off, maybe he's just chatting with the customers."

"Oh, yeah? Well he better be chatting to them about a new job, 'cause I'm through with him!" I rolled my eyes as I waved a goodbye. Pigsy had a lot of talk, but I knew he wouldn't fire MK. I guess his overdramatic flare from his singing days still lingered.

Walking through the city, I took a few turns, the area slowly becoming more grey and shady. Less people lined the streets as more warehouses appeared, I wondered who MK was delivering to out here. Maybe some workers on break?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of crying. With a frown, I scanned the area. It sounded like... a baby? But where? It's cries filled the area with no signs of stopping. Concerned, I followed the sound of the cries, trying to find the source.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I called out, hoping a parent might be in the area. The cries grew louder as I entered an alleyway. After a moment, I was able to find the source of the cries, a box along the side of the alley.

Did somebody abandon a child out here? I frowned, crouching down by the box to see someone fidgeting under a swaddle of blankets. However, to my surprise, my eyes were met with the purple eyes of a white fox. They were the last thing I saw before blacking out.

My mind now clear, I smiled. "Thank you again, Wukong. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, guess even in retirement, I've gotta find ways to stay active." He laughed. "It was nothing, really." I watched him with unsure eyes. His words spoke confidence but I could tell he was still off.

Maybe the whole situation brought him back to his journey to the west, where demons would take Tripitaka to eat him in literally every chapter. It would be understandable why that would leave him so shaken, though I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to it.

There was something else on my mind as well. "While I was with Jiao Min, he called me the Celestial Blacksmith. Do you know who that is?" Wukong's eyes widened at the question, just by a smidge before returning to normal.

"Uh... who?"

I frowned a little, his actions leaving me suspicious. He glanced away, eyes not meeting my own. Before I could go into more detail on my question, we were interrupted. "Li! You're okay!"

We turned to see MK on the roof of our apartment, Monkey King floating down to meet his mentee. Letting me down onto my feet, I turned just in time for MK to encase me in a tight hug. "Hey, bud."

The boy scolded me. "Do you know how long it's been, young lady? You had me worried sick!"

"But I'm older than you—"

"Worried. Sick!"

With a sigh, I ruffled the boy's head, messing with his hair. "Yeah, I missed you, too." MK groaned as he swatted my hand away, making me laugh softly under my breath. Turning back to Monkey King, I blinked in surprise.

He was flying off into the evening sky.

I frowned a little, thoughts and questions running through my mind. The more time I spent with Wukong, the more confused I became. His reaction to my question definitely set off some flags, I couldn't help but wonder. What did he know that he wasn't telling me?

MK dragged me out of my thoughts as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into our apartment. "Okay, this is gonna sound crazy but hear me out. I went to go deliver some noodles, right? But it turns out there were these demons with really weird accents, and they trapped me in this calabash thing..."

The boy began to ramble about his adventures as I spared one last glance at the king on the cloud.

When we got home, I crashed onto my bed. I felt like I'd seen enough beautiful fox-men for a while. Turning onto my side, I looked out the window with tired eyes. There sat a plum on the window sill, probably from Wukong before he realized where I was.

I couldn't get his reaction out of my head. Both, his reaction to finding me and my question about some Celestial Blacksmith. I'd figure him out, he can try to hide whatever he's hiding but I'll find out eventually.

He can't hide from me.

Word Count: 5048

First | Previous | Next

Chapter List

[hostess-of-horror]

Kindling Hearts

@darkmedolie @lemonbaloni @augie-the-better-brother @salamifuposey

M.B.’s note: This is the official sequel to our last collaborated fanfic, Fallen Leaves! We are very excited to show you this, mainly because this is the story where love gets its spark! We do hope whoever reads this enjoys our work and can’t wait to see how our two beloved characters blossom into a beautiful relationship.

Medic’s note: Remember that humanoid form for Dryad I introduced in Fallen Leaves(that I edited ‘cause I wasn’t satisfied with the hair, at all-)?  That will be the form she’ll have for the majority of this part (so y’all don’t get any wrong ideas-)

Art Courtesy by @minnesotamedic186

Content Includes: Uh, description of sickness-? Other than that, wholesomeness!

— — — 

It had been a few weeks after the galaxy was saved from Cursa and her forces, and the beginning of Dryad and Sweetlopek’s new arrangement.  With Palette Prime completely purged of Darkmess, everything was going back to normal, if not better than before. Perched above the trees of Spellbound Woods, Dryad breathed in the cool, autumn air. She had not felt this kind of peace in a very long time; perhaps in hundreds of years. There was something so revitalizing - so fresh - within purified nature. Dryad watched as the town across the bridge was bustling with life. The Rabbids’ celebration had lasted much longer than she expected. However, she could not blame them at all. Such happiness made her smile, and even more so when she noticed the Rabbids’ picking up after themselves and leaving the earth clean. 

She lowered herself back down into the woods to check on her seeds. The soil was perfect -  leveled and rich with minerals. Her magic glowed as she waved her hands over the buried seeds, planting yet another tree for the upcoming season. Dryad had no fear of the colder weather approaching, for her powers would protect the seeds from the frost. As she finished her duties, a recent memory came to her mind. When the festivities began, underneath a breathtaking, starlit night, Sweetlopek came to Spellbound Woods to meet her. He told her that he left Paletteville to see her. Dryad smiled softly.

Oh, how they danced!

Then, her thoughts were interrupted by a sound from beyond the trees. It was familiar at first, but then another sound occurred. The sound of wood being chopped and then a hefty cough. Dryad was used to the sound of lumbering at this point, but to hear Sweetlopek, the lumberjack, coughing was another story. With nothing else to do, she followed the noise with the hopes of making sure Sweetlopek was okay.

Sweetlopek thrust his axe onto the block of wood. His arms and shoulders strained from his efforts. He would usually brush it off and get some rest after his work was done, but this pain was worse than before. However, instead of stopping, Sweetlopek insisted on finishing. He felt the urge to never stop until it was all done, despite his lungs constantly making him cough terribly. I’m fine… the lumberjack thought to himself, Finish this part and you’ll be fine. The axe grew heavier in his hands. His eyes struggled to focus on the block of wood. His breathing grew raspy. He lifted the axe to prepare another swing. “Sweetlopek?” a familiar voice called out to him. Sweetlopek turned to find a concerned Dryad, floating across from him. “Dryad!” he greeted her before letting out a cough, “What, have you come to magically ruin my lumbering again? Ha-ha!” Looking closer now, Dryad could see that he was sick. Dreadfully so, for his eyes looked sunken and his arms were slightly shaking. “Sweetlopek, are you feeling alright? You look miserable.” Dryad said, approaching him with concern. “Nah, I’m fine! Just a little in my throat, that’s all. I’ve been through worse and still swung my axe like it was nothing!” Sweetlopek boasted, “I just need to… I need to…” 

Dryad rushed over to hold Sweetlopek as he tried to swing his axe. Within moments, his grasp gave in and he collapsed to his knees, the axe landing on the ground beside him. A low groan escaped the ill lumberjack’s lips. “Sweetlopek, you stubborn fool.” Dryad sighed as she looked around to see if anyone was watching them. As she found no one, she shifted into her other form: a tall, beautiful maiden with hair made of leaves and a gown as vibrant as the trees of Spellbound Woods. With all her strength, Dryad lifted Sweetlopek in her arms and carried him bridal style into his house to warm up. She remembered the first time she entered his house. She was struck with a similar sickness, one that was gone within a week thanks to Sweetlopek. Dryad could still feel that warm sensation in her memories. Perhaps she could give back those sweet memories to him.

The living room was exactly how she remembered. Simple, cozy, and filled with ornate wood carvings. The scent of pine and chestnut filled her lungs. Then she noticed a hint of apple pie - or so she thinks it is called. The Rabbids did mention this “apple pie” before.  As she gently laid Sweetlopek down on his sofa, Dryad discovered something strange but interesting. On the spot between the lumberjack’s left shoulder and pectoral was a marking. It was black and shaped like a small wooden stump with an axe embedded in it. She traced her mitten paw across the marking, but stopped when Sweetlopek let out a nasty cough. Oh Goodness, Dryad thought to herself, I shouldn’t be distracted now, although that is a peculiar marking.  “I’ll make you some tea.” Dryad told Sweetlopek as she draped a wool blanket over him, “You just lay here and rest, alright?” He looked up at her and nodded.

As she entered his kitchen, Dryad paused, Oh! I should get some more ingredients for the tea. Silly me, I almost forgot! But instead of leaving, something caught her eye. There placed right next to the real kettle was a glass mason jar and inside it were the exact ingredients she was looking for. She examined the mason jar; the contents inside appeared to be scooped out. This occurred to her as rather… surprising. He kept the ingredients, and put them in a proper container, no less! Dryad thought that Sweetlopek would have discarded it, considering how he was not exactly the kind to use magical properties. Although, the tea she made the last time she was here was absolutely delicious. Pleased by this, she started making another pot.

Dryad looked back into the living room. Sweetlopek was sound asleep. With him resting, she had nothing else to do now that she was waiting for the tea. Hmmm… Perhaps this might be a good time to look around, she pondered, I do not believe that I have not seen everything inside this little house. And so, she wandered silently, admiring the decorative carvings on the cabinets, the framed pictures of his early lumbering days on the walls, the seemingly homemade curtains that hung over the windows. Her findings gave her the strong impression that Sweetlopek was one of great pride, and yet he did not adorn himself in riches. Only the humble fruits of his labor. Everything was unlike her nest, and yet she found the similarities within his home. It all fascinated her. Mortal Rabbids fascinated her. 

He fascinated her.

She went past the sleeping lumberjack and entered through the hallway right next to the fireplace. It was small, short, and a bit cramped, considering the height of her current form. There at the end of the hallway was a door painted red with matching carvings like the ones in the kitchen. Making sure she wasn't disturbing Sweetlopek, Dryad quietly turned the knob and opened the door. "This must be his nest." Dryad whispered to herself. She let herself inside Sweetlopek's "nest", crouching as to not hit her head against the ceiling. There before her was a bed with quilted blankets with a window just above it and two small wooden shelves on either side. On the right shelf was a dimly lit lamp, and on the left shelf was another framed picture. Dryad went over to see and in the picture, which was older than all the others, were two adult Rabbids and one young, little Rabbid. Looking closer, she realized that the young Rabbid was none other than Sweetlopek. She giggled; she could not believe that he used to be so tiny. So… adorable! 

Right across from the bed was a large desk, unkept and covered in wood shavings. Tools were scattered across the desk with a few on the floor as well. But none of this mess fazed her. No, Dryad was more focused on what the mess was a result from, which was placed neatly in a straight line. Three objects, one small on the left, one medium on the right, and one large in the middle, caught her attention. They were made of wood, all delicately shaped and sanded into each form of Dryad's likeliness. Her eyes glistened at this artistry. The smaller statue was her pixie form, posed in a swaying motion as if it danced while time paused itself. The larger statue was her monstrous form - a form she becomes for when danger approaches Spellbound Woods - in a powerful, defensive stance. And finally, the last one, the medium statue was of her maiden form. By the intricate details of her dress to the delicate flow of her long hair, this statue clearly had the most work done. Dryad's heart skipped.

She jumped at the echoes of the kettle's sharp whistle. Alerted, Dryad rushed to the kitchen to lift it from the stove. Sweetlopek groaned as he lifted himself up from the sofa. "Oh my goodness, I am terribly sorry! I didn't mean to wake you." Dryad apologized. "Oh, no worries… I needed the rest. This body ain't like it used to be, ya know?" Sweetlopek said, stretching his arms and back until they finally popped. He let out a satisfied sigh. After a moment of silence, he rubbed his neck. "I, uh… Should've known when to stop working, when I started coughing up a storm." He continued, "My Pa always told me to finish the work before you rest. Heh, and my Ma would then always tell me that I deserve to rest when I need it. They had their differing opinions, but that didn't stop them from… taking care of me in general." Leaning up against the sofa, Sweetlopek stared at the fireplace. It strained his eyes, but they were glued to the dancing colors of the flames, flickering as they ate their way into the firewood. His gaze was broken when Dryad approached him with a warm cup of tea.

He thanked Dryad with a nod. As Sweetlopek took his cup to his lips, his eyes were now fixated on another sight. They trailed up and down at Dryad’s flowing gown and silky hair, her eyes set aglow from the light of the fireplace. It was at this moment he realized how incredibly tall Dryad was. He was so used to seeing her as a small, floating Rabbid that he could not help but stare. “Is there something wrong, Sweetlopek?” Dryad asked, bowing a little to get closer to him. The lumberjack snapped out of his trance, clearing his throat. His cheeks burned bright red as he removed his eyes from her. “Oh! Uh… I was… going to ask if you’re… uncomfortable? You know, because you’re a… a very… pretty Rabbid- Uh, pretty tall! Pretty tall.” Sweetlopek stuttered. Dryad smiled. “No, actually.” she said as she gently sat herself down right next to him, “I’m fine, thank you. I’m just so glad you’re getting some rest. I was really worried about you.” Sweetlopek took another sip from his tea. His eyes began to wander again until he forced himself to look Dryad in the eyes. He chastised himself, Doggone it, Sweetlopek, get it together! Don’t be a creep now! “Well, I appreciate it, Dryad.” he smiled at her. He could feel the beginnings of sweat pour down his forehead. His heart pounded in his chest almost like a woodpecker at a tree. Dryad giggled, “Are you okay? I would ask if you’re having a fever, but it appears to me that something else is on your mind.”

“What? No! No, of course not! Don’t be ridiculous, I’m perfectly fine! Well, other than this doggone sickness…” Sweetlopek stammered, taking another drink. 

Dryad raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay then. If you say so. Although, I do have one question for you: those wooden statues… How long did it take for you to make them?” she ‘innocently’ asked with a smirk.

Sweetlopek instantly spat out his tea, almost causing him to choke. He gently placed the cup down on the coffee table in front of him as he cleared his throat. Dryad let out a hearty laugh as he wiped away the spill from his lips and beard. His face grew even redder than before. Shocked, Sweetlopek took a few breaths, composing himself until he finally stumbled, “Statues? Oh, I… Um! I, uh… What, what statues? I… I… How did you know about those?”

“Inside your nest, of course. I was waiting for the tea to brew while you were sleeping. I have never been inside a mortal Rabbid’s home before, other than that one time, and so I explored a bit.” Dryad answered, “You have quite the talent.” Sweetlopek swallowed and rubbed his neck. He chuckled awkwardly, “I… Thank you. Um, those statues actually… didn't take too long. Maybe two, or three weeks? Maybe four? The big one took the longest, I’m not even done with that one.”

“They’re incredible, Sweetlopek!” Dryad exclaimed, “But… why do you hide them?” Sweetlopek went to answer but closed his mouth, embarrassed. He cleared his throat again, his eyes averting her gaze. His mitten paws fidgeted with his blanket. Dryad watched patiently as the lumberjack struggled to speak, looking away from her. It did not take long for her to match two and two together. In fact, she already did. “Do you think I’m pretty?” she whispered in his ear. Sweetlopek jolted and shot a glance at her. Letting out a defeated sigh, he turned toward her, still fidgeting with the blanket. He nodded, “I do. I do think you’re pretty. But, I don’t think ‘pretty’ is a good word to describe it.” Casting aside the blanket, Sweetlopek sat up and scooted closer to Dryad. He reached for her hand, gently holding it tight, and took in one deep breath: “Now, I’m not like Woodrow - poetic stuff isn’t my thing, and I can’t string a couple of fancy words for the galaxy. But whenever I see you in those woods, doing your duties to protect nature or even making my job so much harder through your tricks, I can’t help but be… helpless. I mean, like… mesmerized. Completely and utterly mesmerized. I believe you have bewitched me, and if this is another trick of yours or I’m going crazy, I don’t care either way. You are sublime, Dryad. Beautiful, like the trees that spread across the Spellbound Woods. And, if I am under your spell… Then, Doggone it, don’t snap me out of it.”

Every word that came out of Sweetlopek’s mouth fell like a heavy waterfall. His heart throbbed with every aching pulse. He could feel his body slightly quiver as he spoke to his generous caretaker. A weight had lifted from his soul, and yet he still could not shake this overwhelming feeling. Dryad stared at him, her mouth slightly agape in surprise. A moment of silence passed. Sweetlopek released his hand, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. But before he could say another word, Dryad immediately latched on to Sweetlopek’s hand. Tears flooded her eyes as she let out the biggest grin she ever had. 

And she kissed him.

Her lips crashed against his as she pulled him into her embrace. Without hesitation, Sweetlopek melted, wrapping his arms around her waist. He felt Dryad’s hand caress his cheek and held it sweetly as they released from their kiss with a satisfied sigh. The lumberjack giggled bashfully as he planted his lips against the palm of her hand. “My Autumn Rose…” Sweetlopek whispered as he wiped the tears that ran down her face and went in for another kiss. 

[riahlynn101]

"Rose-Tinted Nostalgia.”

Summary: The memories and times of one, Yoichi Shigaraki.

Trigger warning: Implied/referenced sexual activity, terrorist attacks, and childhood trauma.

--

The loud wailing of a crying baby startles Yoichi awake. He jolts upright in bed, clutching the blankets to his chest. His heart hammers against the confines of his ribcage. Bright green eyes flit over to the empty space in the bed. The comforter is rumpled like someone threw it off in a hurry. 

A familiar voice, crackling over the thrift-store-bought baby monitor, helps ease some of his panic. With a fond smile, Yoichi reaches for the monitor to listen in closer. 

“You’re okay. Shhhh…nothing’s going to hurt you, not as long as I’m around,” his soon-to-be-husband quietly reassures Izuku. The three-month-old could be very fussy when he wanted to be.

Yoichi lays back down. The monitor remains close by, providing white noise. A static to match the fuzzy feeling buzzing around in his head.

He closes his eyes. For the first time in a long time, Yoichi is safe, content, and happy with nothing to regret. 

-x-x-x-

Yoichi is many things: pathetic, weak, frail, oblivious - all of which are things his older brother “lovingly” reminds him of, constantly - but Yoichi Shigaraki is not a quitter!

Which is not a good thing, at least according to his mom (who treats him as if he’s made of glass). He disagrees, but only quietly because no one talks back to mom and gets away unscathed. 

“Betcha can’t climb that tree ‘cause you’re scared! ” His obnoxious neighbor, a girl named Asa, taunts. Her hair is plaited into two, dark braids. Her button nose is covered in freckles, spreading across her cheeks. 

Yoichi can’t stand her. She’s mean and rude and….she’s the only one who Hisashi can’t scare off. If anything, Asa takes it as a challenge. His older brother’s threats seem to grow in severity everytime they cross paths. But he has yet to act on any of them, key word being: yet . 

“Heh, just watch,” he tells her, shouldering off his backpack and letting it drop to the grass. Yoichi glances up, suddenly unsure of his ability to climb a tree. It’s a large cherry blossom tree, planted just outside the playground limits. Sometimes, when the grownups are distracted, kids like to try to sneak away and see how high they can climb before they’re caught. The record, as boasted by Itsuki (another boy in their year), is ten feet. 

“Watching,” Asa says.

Yoichi nods, mutely. Today is the day he proves he’s more than his sickness, more than the fragile body he was born into. 

“Well,” she urges, impatiently tapping her foot, “get on with it.”

He doesn’t respond to her. Instead, he hoists himself up onto the first branch, bracing his feet against the tree trunk. The short use of strength leaves Yoichi feeling a little breathless. He ignores it in favor of moving higher, intent on proving something to his classmates. 

He climbs higher and higher and-

“Alright, Ichi-Chan, you can come down now!” Asa calls up to him. 

He rests, leaning his weight against the next branch up. “And, what? Let you best me and beat my record?” 

“Ichi-Chan, it’s not safe to be that high up. Please, come down.” 

He laughs off her concern. The branches creak under his weight, but Yoichi pays it little mind. He starts to pull himself up to the next level, when the unthinkable happens.

With a loud crack and an even louder thud, the branch he had been standing on breaks and falls out from under him. 

Yoichi’s left dangling from the tree branch, stuck between deciding to risk falling on the branch below or pulling himself up (a near impossible task even with the extra support underneath him). 

“Yoichi!” Asa screams. “I’ll go get your brother! Just hang on!” He watches her run away. Tears stream down his face. He wriggles, feet a good distance away from the nearest branch. 

“No!” He begs. “Don’t leave me!”

But she’s already gone. 

He struggles to take in enough air, chest heaving as his sobs intensify. Yoichi’s arms are starting to sting and the earlier adrenaline and dopamine rush has turned into a heart pounding terror. Worse yet, is his sweaty palms, which makes gripping onto his only lifeline that much harder. 

Yoichi tightens his hold, digging his nails into the wood. It helps little. The dried wood burns his skin as it slides out of his grip. He sucks in a breath. And that’s when it happens. His grip loosens, and in just the small millisecond it takes to readjust his hold, Yoichi’s falling. 

His stomach feels light, like gravity has no effect on it. The thinner branches - the ones that jut out from the strong, sturdy ones - scratch up Yoichi’s back, snapping in half from the sudden weight. 

He lands on his back, winded. 

“Little brother!” 

Weakly, desperately, Yoichi wheezes. 

“Oh, no! Yoichi?” Hisashi drops to his knees beside him, eyes wide. “Where’s your inhaler?”  

He somehow manages to get out a pathetic-sounding, “in my bag.”

Hisashi scrambles to search through the backpack - still laying in the grass where Yoichi dropped it. “C’mon! C’mon!” 

Yoichi listens to his frantic older brother. His chest burns and the littlest movement causes pain to spike up his arms and legs. Did he break them? He hopes not, but it wouldn’t be the first time. 

From his place on the ground, Yoichi can see the blue sky. Sometimes he and Hisashi watch the clouds together and tell each other what the fluffy shapes remind them of. It’s rare they get to do that anymore, especially after-

“Here it is!” His older brother carefully supports his head and guides the inhaler to his mouth.

A quick shake followed by one puff. Yoichi coughs, chest still tight but some of the burning is quickly going away. Hisashi gives him one more puff from the inhaler after his coughing fit calms down some.

His older brother pats his arms and legs, gingerly poking and prodding at the limbs to check for broken bones. Yoichi hardly reacts, besides occasionally wincing when his brother pokes a little harder. 

“Probably just a couple of cuts and bruises. But we can double check at home.”

Yoichi sighs in relief. He lives to cause trouble another day!

Someone behind them sniffles. “I-I’m really, really sorry, Ichi-Chan,” Asa cries. 

Hisashi shifts, turning back. “Go away! You’ve done enough!”

He tugs on his brother’s shirt, urging him to leave her alone. “Onii-Chan, it isn’t her fault. I wanted to climb the tree. It’s my fault. She told me not to.”

Hisashi scoffs. “Yeah, right,” he says under his breath. “Well, we need to go home anyway. So, find someone else to bother.”

Yoichi is pulled to his feet. His brother wraps an arm around him, making sure to keep him close. 

Despite his brother trying to block his way, Yoichi manages to wave goodbye to their neighbor, mouthing a quick, ‘thank you.’

-x-x-x-

Everyone’s dancing and drinking and having the time of their lives - a party to celebrate the first (of hopefully, many) laws in favor of meta-users - and all Yoichi can do is stare down at the table in front of him. 

It’s been a month since his release from the vault and adjusting to the outside world remains a work-in-progress. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” A woman asks.

He looks up. “Asa?” He asks, thoroughly confused. Hisashi had told Yoichi he had disposed of her long ago. What that exactly entails, Yoichi never asked (or wanted to know).

She still has her dark hair and freckles, but she’s grow-up a lot. Everything from her height to the way she carries herself to the way she speaks, hits Yoichi like a slap in the face (a reminder that they aren’t children anymore, and Hisashi took most of his teen years away).

“In the flesh,” she says, smiling brightly. “May I sit here?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She sits down, leaning into his space. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Yoichi knows she’s flirting with him. He isn’t attracted to her, at least not in the same way he is to Nisuke. But he can admit, smiling and nodding along to her story, it wouldn’t hurt to indulge himself just this once. 

-x-x-x-

They’re hiding in the cellar. Mommy is holding him, and his big brother close to her chest, hushing them. The basement is dark and reeks of mildew.

From their place under the stairs, Yoichi can hear daddy’s muffled voice pleading with their neighbors.

An hour earlier, Hisashi had been teaching him how to play “Hot Cross Buns” on the piano in their living room. Mommy was making lunch, buzzing around the kitchen in her yellow summer dress with the flower designs on the sleeves. And then daddy had burst into the house, slamming the front door shut behind him.

Hisashi played a high note, startling from the sudden noise. “C’mon, ‘Ichi,” he had said, helping Yoichi down from the bench. 

From there, he, his brother, and mommy were herded into the cellar. He catches a word here and there - “down the street…kill….need to hide…” - but it isn’t enough to help him understand why mommy, daddy, and Hisashi look so terrified.

Before the door closes behind them, Yoichi turns back. He sees daddy - the strongest, most bravest man he’s ever known - standing at the top, tears streaming down his face. 

The door is shut quickly and firmly. 

Now, sitting here, in the pitch black with only mommy’s shushing and Hisashi’s hiccuping breaths, Yoichi is starting to worry about daddy. 

“Mommy? Why isn’t-”

“Shush,” she tells him, running her thin fingers through his medium-length hair. 

“But mo-”

Bang! Bang!

Before he can ask mommy what just happened, her hand is clasped firmly over his mouth. She stiffens, holding them closer. The footsteps and angry voices have quieted down, walking further away from the basement.

The next time he sees daddy, he’s being lowered into the ground.

-x-x-x-

His son is small. Smaller than Yoichi pictured in his head. In the moments between the baby being swaddled and the various tests the nurse (they could only spare a single nurse and a midwife. Many of the base’s residents were injured in an attack, so it’s all the manpower they could lend them) conducts to make sure the baby’s healthy, Yoichi counts ten perfect, little fingers and ten perfect, little toes. 

Asa clears her throat, obviously trying to get his attention. 

He looks up at her. 

“There’s no easy way to say this so I may as well rip the Band-Aid off. I don’t want the baby. I don’t want anything to do with him, and I don’t want to be a part of his life and upbringing.”

Yoichi blinks. He gazes down at the slumbering (is he sleeping or is he awake? He can’t really tell) newborn. The omission isn’t that big of a surprise. Asa’s brought up signing away her rights before, but it still stings in a way it absolutely shouldn’t because the only feeling he holds for her is fleeting childhood nostalgia. 

“Why?” He asks her, if only to have something to tell their son when he gets older. 

“Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but I’ve never wanted to be a mother. I have things I want to do, people I want to meet, and having a baby was never in that plan. Besides,” she smiles at him, tone light, “he’s in good hands.”

“I will protect him until the day I die and then even past that,” he declares, stroking the baby-soft hair on his son’s head. 

Asa giggles. “Not exactly what I meant, Ichi-Chan.”

He looks at her, confused. 

“Well, yes, I know he’ll be safe with you. You are his father, but I am referring to Nisuke. Oh, don’t give that look. I know you two are dating. I’m not dense.”

Yoichi’s face burns. “Uh, oh, sorry. It’s not-”

“No, don’t apologize. I want you to be happy. I want the baby, you, and Nisuke to be happy. Together. After everything you’ve gone through, it’s the least you deserve. And it’s not like I’m going to be off wallowing in self-despair. I’m studying to become a doctor, which - if this whole experience should have taught you anything - we really need right now. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

Yoichi nods. 

“Good. Now to the more pressing issue: what are you going to name the baby?”

He thinks of his brother, of all people, right then. How, despite his illness and his unruly behavior in his preteen years, Hisashi never stopped loving him. The gentle way he wiped away Yoichi’s tears after each nightmare. The countless hours of his brother reading Captain Hero aloud to distract from the screaming and bloodshed just outside their window. All the sacrifices his big brother made to keep Yoichi alive and well (and then his sanity took a swan dive, and Hisashi turned into the very monster he wanted to protect Yoichi from). 

A single name pops in his head. One he’s been deliberating on for literal months now. 

When he doesn’t answer, Asa scoffs. “Well, you need to decide-”

“Izuku,” he says, steadfast in his decision. “His name will be Izuku.”

-x-x-x-

In spite of his nerves, Yoichi is the one to ask Nisuke on a date first. 

They have a picnic on the roof of the base. Far from any prying eyes. The sun has started to set, and the sky is painted with all shades of pinks, oranges, and purples. The September air is chilly, and even with a long-sleeve shirt and jacket, Yoichi finds himself shivering. 

Nisuke chuckles, shrugging off his jacket. He carefully drapes the coat over Yoichi’s shoulders. 

The action renders him speechless. All he can do is grasp at the material and mutter a breathy, “thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” 

It doesn’t take long for Nisuke to get cold. He tries to hide it with funny quips, but at one point he’s shivering worse than Yoichi. 

“Here.” He makes to give the coat back. A hand, covered in scars and rough with age, grabs his wrist. Yoichi looks at him, puzzled. “Wha-”

His lips are warm, Yoichi notes, dreamily. 

It was their first kiss, but it would most certainly not be their last. 

-x-x-x-

Hisashi holds his hand. The doctor is cleaning Yoichi’s arm for another shot. He hates getting shots, and they never seem to end. 

His older brother squeezes his hand, giving him a soft, reassuring smile. “Almost done,” he murmurs. This used to be dad’s job, but he isn’t here anymore. 

The doctor delivers the vaccine, holding a piece of cotton over the affected area. 

“Ow!” He complains, reaching up to rub at the spot the doctor pricked him at. 

“‘Ichi,” Hisashi says, grabbing his other hand as well, “don’t.”

“But it hurts,” he pouts, sticking out his bottom lip.

“If you don’t rub at it, I’ll buy you one of those penny comics they have at the corner store.”

From the corner of the room, their mom makes a noise of discontent. “Hisashi-”

His older brother just glares at their mom, which shuts her up pretty quick.

He thinks it over. “Deal!” 

That night, Hisashi reads Captain Hero: Volume One aloud to him. It’s the first time he’s ever done so, and it’s the first time Yoichi finds himself wondering if he, as weak as he is, could ever hope to be a hero. 

-x-x-x-

They get married on a Monday in December. No one else attends the ceremony save for Sanshirou - who is their witness and babysitter for the night - Izuku, and an officiant. 

Neither of them have enough money for a tux - borrowed or otherwise - so they’re both dressed rather casually. Yoichi in a long-sleeve shirt with the ironic labeling of “t-shirt” across the front of it and the nicest pair of pants he could find in his pathetically small wardrobe. Nisuke is dressed in a warm flannel button-up shirt and jeans.

The officiant had given them both a once over when they arrived. Clearly a little taken back by their lack of event-appropriate clothing, but held his tongue nonetheless. 

“Do you, Nisuke Harada, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer I do.”

“I do,” Nisuke says, voice shaking a little with the weight of their future resting on his shoulders.

“And do you, Yoichi Shigaraki, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live? If so, answer I do.”

“I do,” he answers, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He has to stop himself from giggling - excitement bubbling underneath his skin. It’s all he can do to force himself to stand still and not jump for joy. 

Behind them in the pews, Izuku squeals happily. 

The officiant smiles at them. “Then, by the power vested in me by the city of Musutafu, and agreed upon by both parties and that adorable baby in the front pew, you may kiss your husband.”

Unlike their first kiss, Yoichi is ready. But the way Nisuke presses his lips against his, firmly and gently, still manages to take his breath away. 

-x-x-x-

Izuku giggles, bouncing on his heels. “Look! Look!” He squeals, thrusting a crayoned-drawing towards Yoichi’s chest. 

Nisuke chuckles, watching from the sink in the kitchen. Dishes are a chore no one likes, so they take turns washing them after every meal. This morning it’s Nisuke’s turn. 

“Let me see,” Yoichi says, gently taking the paper from his son’s outstretched hands. 

On the pink construction paper are three blobs. One with hair just above the shoulders, one with spiky hair, and one shorter than the others with curly hair. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what his son is trying to depict. 

“Is this-”

“Mhm!” Izuku excitedly points at the drawing. “That’s you, that one’s papa, and this one’s me!” He looks up at Yoichi, eyes shining. “Do you like it?” 

A soft smile graces his features. Yoichi gives a curt nod. “I love it, Izu. Can I hang it on the fridge?” 

Izuku seems to consider this for a moment, cocking his head to the side. His white curls flopping over his left eye with the sudden movement. He grins, nodding empathically. “Yes, please.” Izuku moves closer, throwing his tiny arms around Yoichi. “I love you, daddy,” he says, genuine in a way only a small child can be. 

“I love you too, Izu.”

-x-x-x-

Izuku is two-months-old when he gets confirmation Asa has passed away. They’re living in an apartment in the city of Musutafu, and have long since cut contact with nearly everyone at the base (besides Sanshirou). 

A car accident. Black ice and a lack of any guard rails sent her vehicle careening over the edge into the river below. 

Though Yoichi doesn’t break down at the news, Nisuke hugs him close and comforts him anyways, probably sensing the conflicting emotions warring in his head. 

That night, Yoichi watches his son while he sleeps. Tiny hands furled up into even tinier fists. “I’ll protect you,” he promises, stroking his son’s hair. Peppering the dark strands are bits of white. If this keeps up, he muses, Izuku will have the same color hair as him and-

He cringes back. He hasn’t thought of Hisashi in months, not since his son’s birth. 

Hopefully hair color is all Izuku and Hisashi will share. 

-x-x-x-

He thinks of all these moments - all blurring together in a blend of beautiful, rose-tinted nostalgia - as he lays dying. The spike attack had been meant for his husband - and even though it hurts (badly) - Yoichi doesn’t regret pushing him out of the way. 

Hisashi stands in the middle of all the chaos. Tears are streaming down his face. He’s quiet for once, staring down at Yoichi. He falls to his knees next to Yoichi’s limp form. 

“Little bro-ther,” he chokes on a sob. “I-I…it wasn’t meant for you. Why..?” The tears are falling faster now.

Yoichi forces one trembling, blood soaked hand up to his older brother’s face. As gingerly as his brother used to after a bad dream or a horrifying ordeal, he touches Hisashi’s face. His brother has a look of absolute shock. “It’ll be okay,” he says, a small smile on his face. “I’ll be able to see my son again.”

Hisashi’s face crumples. He pulls back, taking Yoichi’s hand into his own. Giving it a small squeeze, he takes a deep breath. “About that,” he starts, noticeably not meeting Yoichi’s eyes, “Izuku…he…I…”

With all the grace of an elephant in a fine china shop, Nisuke stumbles over. His arm extended as if in the process of activating “gear shift.” Yoichi wants to scream at his husband to wait, that he needs to hear what Hisashi’s trying to say. But he can hardly talk without blood spilling from his mouth, and his chest burns with the slightest movement. 

He watches helplessly, vision steadily getting blurrier and blurrier, as Nisuke gets closer and Hisashi continues to flounder with his words. 

Yoichi wants so badly to reach out again. To scream at his brother and demand answers. But his body - weak as it’s always been - refuses to listen.

His vision goes dark and he can’t feel anymore, but Yoichi can still hear. Though, admitly, the sound is muffled and it’s hard to fully understand anything. 

“Izuku is alive,” his brother says, voice strained. 

Even as the last of his senses leave him, Yoichi finds himself hoping and praying that his son isn’t under the care of Hisashi. Loved as Yoichi was (and will, undoubtedly, continue to be), his brother’s love can be as wonderful as it can be horribly suffocating. It’s a fate near as frightening as death itself but less avoidable. 

A little selfishlessly, as well, he finds himself just a tiny bit upset; he'll have to wait to see Izuku again. It’s a terrible, awful thought to have as a parent. He should be happy, drifting off to nothingness or an afterlife with the knowledge that his baby lives on. But he can’t.

The last few months following the bombing near Izuku’s daycare, have been nothing short of hell.  

Every night, he dreamt of holding Izuku in his arms. And every morning, he awoke into the same nightmare. 

The grief was bottomless. 

And it’s not like it just affected Yoichi. Nisuke also had trouble getting out of bed and continuing his leadership duties. 

So, yes, maybe it is a nasty thing to think, but Yoichi is way past caring. 

As he’s pulled under, the inky blackness swallowing everything he ever was and ever will be, Yoichi hopes beyond all reason that his son isn’t suffering (wherever he is). That, if Izuku has to live under Hisashi’s roof, he’s safe and happy. 

That’s all he’s ever wanted for Izuku, even if they never see each other ever again and all of the memories they shared together are forever erased from his son’s still too-young mind, for Izuku to be as carefree as any child should. 

Goodnight, Izu, daddy’s sorry he couldn’t save you, like your papa saved me. I love you, wherever you are. Maybe one day we’ll be a family again, but until that time -

don’t forget I’m always watching over you. No matter what, I will protect you.

[swageyama-tobiyolo12]

Butterflies: Part 4

https://www.tumblr.com/swageyama-tobiyolo12/680371975201374208/dylan-writes-stuff?source=share

Hinata and I texted over the weekend, mostly memes, nothing serious. We didn’t talk about the kiss at all. I wondered how Monday would go. 

As I walk through the courtyard Monday morning, the wind whips my hair around. While I feel like I’m in a music video, I’m sure I just look insane. I look around not really for anyone but more to make sure Tsukishima isn’t around. While scanning my surroundings I see Kageyama sitting underneath one of the cherry blossom trees, looking incredibly annoyed with whatever is on the page in front of him. I walk up to him, disregarding all the negative things I’d heard about him throughout my life. He doesn’t notice me, so I decide to say something.

“Y’know giving your homework a death glare won’t make it do itself.” I smile.

“I guess I’m just hoping the harder I stare at it the more sense it’ll make,” he replied, sighing.

“Do you want some help?” I ask, sitting down.

“God, I’d love some.”

Looking over his shoulder at the worksheet, I help him finish it rather quickly.

“You made it seem so simple, I can’t believe I couldn’t get it on my own,” he said, exasperated.

“Hey, not all the same things come easy for everyone.” I place my hand reassuringly on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I just hate how I feel like nothing is coming easily to me right now.” he shrugged.

I let my hand fall to rest on his wrist and he looked into my eyes with palpable intensity.

“Hey guys! Whatcha doin’?” Hinata spoke, walking up to us sort of bouncing around.

“Mai was helping me with my homework, but now I have class. See ya.” 

As he walks away I’m not quite sure who the ‘see ya’ was directed at, but I shake off my overthinking tendencies and look at Hinata who is now sitting cross legged in front of me on the grass.

[ridreamir]

Edit: This is all scrapped, but I'm not sure if I want to delete the post or not. I guess you get to see the really really ugly part of my trash writing process :stickbug: for now, that is

I think I'll also be writing oneshots/smaller things to keep me going

This song is going to be the inspiration for one of them :^) I have not slept for the longest time :E __________________________________________________

A simple practice of mindfulness. 

On a day of light rain, take special care in noticing the sensations of the body. This can be done alongside gentle exercise, what is most important is understanding the equilibrium of the self. Though not required, mindfulness of one’s inner voice is suggested, as training the body and mind together is a practice of both balance and mindfulness. Just as one cares for the body and soul, so too does the space in which one dwells. Awareness of one’s surroundings can also be considered a meritable practice of mindfulness.

After all, there is a spiritual element that may be maintained when considering one’s place within the walls of a sacred space, and reflexively, within the structure of the world. On days of less gentle rain, none could go out into the main courtyard without dragging a trail of water following close behind, so many stayed inside. Some of the temple hands would stay to watch as you went about polishing what you could find in an effort to keep busy, but no words were ever exchanged beyond a simple, polite cordiality. Cleaning for the monastery has been a rigorous form of training in its own way, despite not being the standard breed of spiritualist. Not just the physical strain, but your emotional strength had constantly been under question, and it was easy to make a fool of yourself by saying the wrong thing. Silence was a virtue itself despite the problems it brought. 

 It must have looked like a simple practice of gratitude in exchange for indefinite sanctuary. 

.

.

Often, there is a mat laid out beside the open columns that overlook the courtyard. Without elsewhere to go, It is you that rests in solitude, beneath the star laden sky. The marble of the floor is cold to the touch. A hand rests against it, smoothing slow patterns down along the weathering. A cold front rolls over the mountain, bringing a breeze to caress a sliver of exposed skin. Your side is warm, flush against the bamboo, dry in the absence of rain. 

It is not always unpleasant to sleep outside during the rainy season. But it does remind one that there are few pleasures afforded to those who seek to obtain spiritual piety. For those that remain, they must be sought out. You could think of a select few. 

 The meals are offerings of rice and grain on most days, meant to sustain the body. They were hardly frivolous by any means, but they did well to feed and nourish. On days of light rain, the tin rattling of the roof follows no pattern nor rhythm. A single rain catcher is allowed to hang underneath a barren tree, its branches not yet over-cumbered by a million tiny blossoms. The light green papules on the bark are a sign that they are soon to come. Though welcome to walk amongst the temple hands, you have not been recognized as one. Many offer you no acknowledgments as they wander along, fulfilling their simple duties. It is clear that you are in many ways not a member of the temple, but rather a charitable case living under its roof. These have been your observations in your time at the monastery. You were not upheld to pious standards nor teachings, so long as you did not disrespect sacred space. That did not at all mean that you hadn’t picked up a few of the teachings that were common practice. As the unfitting puzzle piece, you had begun to trace the cracks in the marble, looking for a place to belong. 

.

.

There is one sole monk that never fails to address you in times you find your paths interwoven– usually in the early morning and just after dusk. 

He is a teacher, an overseer of some kind. He seems to be of the belief that one need not be of pious background to benefit from mindful practices. Thus, it was he who offered you the most in terms of conversation. You let him do the speaking, not looking to showcase your ignorance of their customs. He seemed not to mind, and even less like he’d be the type to judge, unlike many others living under the monastery in the name of ancient tradition. 

It had made sense, that he had taken some interest in your doings. When you had woken underneath the ornate ceiling of the main atrium for the first time, it had been his name that the temple hands had called for. After some intense questioning, he had since concluded that appearances made little difference in genuine innocence. Though you had wanted to express some sort of gratitude for his willingness to consider you, daily duties had kept you on separate sides of the complex, leaving you locked out of the restricted areas he’d been expected to frequent. It was lonely, truthfully, watching him disappear behind a row of arches that seemed to lead to a staircase far down the hall.

From what you could glean, the libraries had also been past the forbidden arches, not that you could even read the Hanzi scrolls, yet there was little left for you to memorize past the scars on the bark beneath your favorite tree and the days it last rained. 

.

.

You continued to look for ways to practice mindfulness, unconventional as your methods had been. It did not matter to you how you achieved a sense of bettering yourself, so long as you had been making progress. Not that it was easy, being self-taught. Trying to catch the movement of sprouts as they broke from the earth, you’d attempt to sit in place without any care for the time nor any external sensations, and dusk would often break before your daydreams of drizzling rain and perfect blossoms covered in dew faded into meditative quietude.

Despite the passing time, and the slow crawl of the blaring moon across an arc in the sky, there had been a noticeable lack in progress in your spiritual endeavors. The only visible difference had been in how intensely you longed for something to change. 

.

. “I understand how you feel, young Omi.” You had overheard earlier that day. “The start of your journey may make the road ahead seem impossible to trek, but you must focus on the small steps your feet must take to move forward and nothing else.”

Somehow, it felt like those words had purposely found their way to you, as well. 

.

.

A heavy thick layering of deep swirling grey had covered the skies the morning before the first storm of the season. Without the warmth of the sun, frost had dusted over the courtyard marble, leaving it moist to the touch. The thunder had come not long after the first flash of lightning, and it reverberated over the many mountain peaks in a foreboding grumble. The crashing downpour came suddenly, ripping away any peace that came with meditating under the light trickle of rain. You’d already been soaked, and it would be no different whether you went in now versus later– the floor would take up puddles either way. So instead of seeking shelter, you stayed put in place, once again trying to sink back into a state of peace. The lightning flashing behind the darkness of closed eyes did little to deter you. .

.