#he probably blames himself for everything from not being able to stop the war to Garmadon getting bitten | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

svnnyd4ys · 4 months ago

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thinking about Bubba and Jeremiah post war because- well. Is that even Jeremiah anymore?

think about it this way:

imagine being in love.

(imagine being Bubba.)

and the man (the one that you want and love) decides to fight in the war that cost you your leg, and nearly cost you him as well.

he still has night terrors and you still have night sweats, and you wake up one night, his shirt sticking to you like a second skin, but him not in bed.

there had been a message from the president over the radio the day before. they're coming back. they're coming back, and this time you won't even be able to run from them.

he's outside, and he's enjoying what could be one of the last times either of you ever see a spherical moon.

you sit down on the decking, hours spent watching him in silence and memorising the shape of his back under the bare light, until that spherical moon becomes a spherical sun, the two of them dancing in the sky (just like you used to).

when he turns to you, he looks disappointed to see you there. i told you yesterday. i don't want to have this fight, he tells you, it's done.

the country needs him. (who doesn't?) and the next day, he leaves.

he's a good soldier, but he's better at giving orders than following them himself. you know him like the back of your hand- not just his contours, his moles, his scars but you know his mind. you've seen it work everyday for the past 20 years.

you get yourself some new cube legs (hey, they nearly took everything from you- it's only fair you get something in return) and then you follow him to the front, pretending to be a new recruit. he's struggling, obviously and now seems to be the perfect time to reveal the truth- and then? well, the pair of you ride off into battle.

it seems that you revealed yourself to him just in time.

your husband dies in your arms. your husband dies in your arms.

(the pair of you look back on it and laugh now, but sometimes when Jeremiah's asleep and he's holding you, you bury yourself a little further into his chest and only breath when he does.)

you lay him down on the soft dirt beneath you, the eyes that looked at you with love were now looking to the dying sky and the mouth that once wrapped itself around quips or around you was slack and limp.

take a moment. stop and look to that same sky. watch it with him for the final time, before letting the old you take over. it's a good way to get out of things you don't want to do. how many times have you done it? how many times have you locked yourself out of your own body to run from it?

well, it's caught up to you now.

words fail you and he failed you but your new legs don't. your horse doesn't. he takes you where you need to be, and turns out-

it's the heart of the beast.

the Cube HQ. the Cube-Within-Cubes. it sounds silly to say it, it does. but you've seen what they can do. (who they do it to) (you lost your sister and your legs in the first war, your husband and yourself in the second- in the present. it's not over yet).

your president is in there. the guy responsible for all of this. (you'll realise later that this isn't true, but right now, naming someone with the blame erases any guilt you possibly feel. it's what keeps you going.)

they've trapped him inside a cube, and he says they'll do the same to you. you'd love to see them try. he admits to being a bad president, and when you're halfway through agreeing with him-

one of them is there. it's been behind him. it's been watching you. at this point, you can hear Jeremiah telling you to hold your horses. hold your tongue, but that's not who you are. and you probably would've said more, but then the president's wife shows up.

(it's horrific, you think to yourself. his lover gets to survive, and she gets cube legs. your lover gets what? a few more scars? a final resting place? no gratitude, that's for sure.)

his wife tries her best, she tries using her new cube legs- but there's no affect on the looming cube, their queen.

she's evolved. she can walk like you (before you got your new legs) and she talks in a stilted way- but she talks.

she speaks of peace- a combining of your spherical world, her cubic world. it sounds perfect. but it's not. because the one person you want to see this, the one who's been by your side through it all is dead.

he won't be there with you.

until she offers a deal.

a life-jelly (you can practically hear Jeremiah, see him, slyly laughing) for peace.

you can bring him back. you can bring him back and he'll be able to see the one thing he always wanted.

the president isn't as bad as you had thought, all things considered, and he lets you make the choice and he lets you bring the thing you want the most in this world back.

it is not him.

they didn't reanimate him, they didn't perform any fucked up cube magic. the queen was there and then she screamed, and she shrunk and transformed (those screams still keep you up at night, and you know they keep him up to because sometimes- sometimes you can feel him, or you'll wake up and see his face twisted into the same malformed visage as his saviour).

and then he was there.

Jeremiah.

you don't know when they started, but suddenly limp tears of relief, of happiness, of unshed grief begin to fallm and you wrap yourself around him.

he doesn't hug you back, doesn't move and his eyes- oh god, his eyes.

they're dull, and darting from face to face, place to place and- what if? what if he doesn't recognise you? what if he's still their queen, and this is just their plan? what if-

and then he practically topples you both. just like the Jeremiah you knew.

the president seems grateful, but as you four (his wife and Jeremiah become fast friends on the plane ride back) return to the main base, he doesn't say a word.

he simply turns on his heel, the new sun shining lightly down on him, the wife following after.

no more words are exchanged, but the next morning, there's a new Alexa sat on your bunk in the dorms and there's a plane ready to take you back to the farm.

Jeremiah sleeps basically the whole flight back. you don't. you sit on the seat opposite him, watching the gentle rise and fall and rise of his chest underneath the new starchy plaid shirt.

the medical team looked over him, and dismissed every single worry of yours- but he died. and then the 'life jelly' took on his form!

it's fucked!

the plane lands near your farm, secluded and away from everyone. Jeremiah clings to you like you're a life vest and he'll drown if he lets go. (chances are, he will.)

the first morning is rough. Jeremiah sleeps through it. he sleeps for the whole day and the next. you keep a silent vigil next to him, only leaving the bed to go to the bathroom, or to the kitchen (not that you can stomach much anyway, but Jeremiah's voice guides you through your routine, acting as a beacon through the fog), or to stand outside and observe the dodecahedron sun dance with the dodecahedron moon.

cool air whips at your face, and suddenly you hear him scream.

it's a horrible, shrill, gurgling sound and you nearly drop the glass of whiskey you're holding, jumping up from your seat on the porch and running up the stairs. (thank God for those cube legs, right?)

this goes on for weeks.

every night without fail, and every night it ends with him in your arms, on your chest listening to your unsteady heartbeat, or you in his, listening to his steady rythym.

a year passes, but things still haven't gone back to normal.

sometimes- Jeremiah wakes up in the corn field, staring up at the sun. he never remembers leaving the bed, and you would've felt it if he had. he speaks differently too, stuttering and stumbling through once familiar words, now acting like barbed-wire around his throat.

(he can barely say 'i love you' without it sounding like it physically pains him. your name now sounds like poison, or a broken radio when it once sounded like honey, or a record spinning on a gramophone.)

he's more difficult to hurt now.

one of the first times that he willingly left the bed, he scared you.

you were in the kitchen, the familiar friendly haze of whiskey seeping over you when his crackly voice speaks it's first proper sentence- "Alexa, play Baby Back by Future" "Now playing: MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT" "NO!!"

and you scream. the crystalline glass slips from your white knuckle grasp, and Jeremiah runs into the room, right onto the pile of shards.

you stand there, watching him. his shape is not as stern as it once was. his hands, his legs, his back- they move more. they're softer, as they dart across the glimmering glass, you notice that they barely even get a scratch.

his eyes are watching your every move, and you can feel them embedding a heated stare in your back as you turn away, grabbing the matching crystalline glass.

(they were wedding presents from his mother. the date of your marriage is engraved on them (13/01) and your names are written in cursive, perfectly and forever intertwined)

Jeremiah makes a passing comment on you having a heavy hand as you pour yourself another glass, and you say nothing. the old Jeremiah would've joined you for a drink. he would've left the shards there, hopping over them into your arms, pressing a kiss to the square line of your clenched jaw.

this is not your Jeremiah.

this will never be your Jeremiah.

you can love him as much as you want, but this is not him.

you remember- before all of this, you woke one night to find your Jeremiah staring at you, gently tracing a continuous line over your face. you had asked him why, but instead of replying with words he shushed you.

that night, his eyes had looked at you with so much love.

now, they barely look at you at all. he remembers the routine, the warmth you bring, but you don't think you can see an ounce of recognition in his eyes at all.

he does this because it feels right, because you've stayed by his side where a weaker man would've run. and maybe, there is some semblance of your Jeremiah still in there. maybe that's why he does these things, because the essence of your love is still there.

for a moment, you stand there, watching as he places the pieces of shattered glass on the counter top, neither of you speaking another word.

wordlessly, you leave this man and his soft sides and raspy voice in the cold heat of the kitchen, grabbing your whiskey on the way out. he doesn't follow after you, his eyes transfixed on the circular wall clock hanging just past your head.

you stand in the cornfield that Jeremiah proposed to you in.

he promised to stay safe and to keep you safe, as long as the two of you were together and even if (God forbid) the two of you weren't, but over the past year- the whiskey and the vodka and the gin have all been more of a safety net than him.

they don't have his arms, or his smile, but they make it easier to pretend that he still has those things.

you don't know how long you're out there, but the sun has risen and set and risen again, so you go back inside.

Jeremiah isn't there. the kitchen is clean, but Jeremiah isn't there and you whip your head around, desperation grasping at your neck like a dog's teeth.

dancing in the light of the kitchen table, is the glass you dropped from last night, and next to it, a small tube of superglue, and it's lid, the glue slowly seeping out of it.

holding the glass up with shaking hands, you can see its chips, its imperfections- but it's still nice.

you slowly creep into the living room, and Jeremiah is asleep on the blue couch. you had insisted on buying it when you first moved in together, but he'd hated it. he hated a lot of things that you'd loved, but he loved seeing you happy. you stand there, considering things for a minute, before grabbing a blanket that had been thrown over a nearby chair and covering him with it.

he doesn't stir, chest barely rising and falling but you can barely stand to look at the man claiming to be your Jeremiah anymore.

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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 months ago

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Do you think Sirius put up a fight w/ Dumbledore about Harry staying so longs at the dursleys in ootp? Or did he understand dumbledore reasoning (or atleast respect it)?

Like, not really argue, but Sirius and Dumbledore have a complicated dynamic.

Sirius was clearly upset with Dumbledore early in OotP (and for the whole book, really). I talked a little bit about their dynamic here and it's actually a really interesting one that I think would apply to this too.

Sirius is pretty bitter and angry toward Dumbledore early in OotP because he can't do anything. He wants to go out and do missions for the Order and Dumbledore (reasonably) stops him from doing so.

“Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded.

(OotP)

But Sirius understands Dumbledore's reasoning. Sirius' priority in the books is to keep Harry safe, everything else comes second. And Sirius trusts Dumbledore wants to protect Harry too. Sirius probably blames himself for not letting Dumbledore be the Potters' secret keeper back in the first war and he's not planning to endanger Harry on his own account again.

Sirius does understand Harry's feelings early in OotP and wishes he could do more:

Sirius, at least, seemed to understand how Harry was feeling; admittedly his letters were just as empty of proper news as Ron and Hermione’s, but at least they contained words of caution and consolation instead of tantalizing hints: “I know this must be frustrating for you. . . .” “Keep your nose clean and everything will be okay. . . .” “Be careful and don’t do anything rash. . . .”

(OotP)

And we know Sirius liked having Harry around:

How could he have dreamed of returning to Privet Drive for Christmas? Sirius’s delight at having the house full again, and especially at having Harry back, was infectious.

(OotP)

That he offered for Harry to come live with him in PoA.

And I find his response when Harry asks him to stay with him in Grimmauld interesting:

“But if they do expel me,” said Harry, quietly, “can I come back here and live with you?” Sirius smiled sadly. “We’ll see.” “I’d feel a lot better about the hearing if I knew I didn’t have to go back to the Dursleys,” Harry pressed him. “They must be bad if you prefer this place,” said Sirius gloomily.

[...]

Over the next few days Harry could not help noticing that there was one person within number twelve, Grimmauld Place, who did not seem wholly overjoyed that he would be returning to Hogwarts. Sirius had put up a very good show of happiness on first hearing the news, wringing Harry’s hand and beaming just like the rest of them; soon, however, he was moodier and surlier than before, talking less to everybody, even Harry, and spending increasing amounts of time shut up in his mother’s room with Buckbeak. “Don’t you go feeling guilty!” said Hermione sternly, after Harry had confided some of his feelings to her and Ron while they scrubbed out a moldy cupboard on the third floor a few days later. “You belong at Hogwarts and Sirius knows it. Personally, I think he’s being selfish.” “That’s a bit harsh, Hermione,” said Ron, frowning as he attempted to prize off a bit of mold that had attached itself firmly to his finger, “you wouldn’t want to be stuck inside this house without company.” “He’ll have company!” said Hermione. “It’s headquarters to the Order of the Phoenix, isn’t it? He just got his hopes up that Harry would be coming to live here with him.” “I don’t think that’s true,” said Harry, wringing out his cloth. “He wouldn’t give me a straight answer when I asked him if I could.” “He just didn’t want to get his own hopes up even more,” said Hermione wisely. “And he probably felt a bit guilty himself, because I think a part of him was really hoping you’d be expelled. Then you’d both be outcasts together.” “Come off it!” said Harry and Ron together, but Hermione merely shrugged.

(OotP)

Because, for a change, I agree with Hermione's assessment. I think Sirius was wishing Harry would get expelled and stay with him, just a bit, and that he felt bad about it. But I think he was also unsure whether Harry would be allowed to stay, for Harry's own safety. Sirius in OotP is being overruled over each and every decision in his own house and he hates it. He hates it, but he doesn't fight against it beyond complaining because he understands Dumbledore's reasoning and he wants to be of help to Harry and the Order.

So, I think it's very likely Sirius raised the issue of where Harry is staying with Dumbledore. Probably every time Harry's letters arrived. But I won't really call it an argument.

I think it was more Sirius bringing up the subject, Dumbledore shutting it down quickly with the mention of the blood wards and being condescending in some way, Sirius getting angry, but not really taking it out on Dumbledore. Instead, I assume he moped for a bit or maybe took it out by shouting with one of the portraits or Snape. We actually see Sirius argues over Dumbledore's orders with Molly instead of with Dumbledore:

“It’s not down to you to decide what’s good for Harry!” said Mrs. Weasley sharply. Her normally kindly face looked dangerous. “You haven’t forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?” “Which bit?” Sirius asked politely, but with an air as though readying himself for a fight.

(OotP)

So, I think the case of Harry staying at the Duesleys would be similar. It's very likely Sirius brought it up, go shut down, and only really complained about it to Molly, or Remus, and remained more polite in front of Dumbledore.

I think Sirius feels too dependent on Dumbledore to really argue with him the way he wants to. Besides, Sirius couldn't really make an argument against Dumbledore's decision when it comes to Harry's safety. If Harry is safe, it's better, even if he's stressed and upset, he is alive, and that's more important. So, I think Sirius did bring it up with Dumbledore, but he probably didn't argue it much. I just, don't think he would because of the guilt he already feels over James and Lily. He wouldn't risk Harry's safety. Even if he disagrees with Dumbledore, he needs him to protect Harry, so I don't think Sirius really pushed the subject in canon.

(Though I love fanon that makes him even more protective of Harry and stand up to Dumbledore, I just don't think it really happened in the books)

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anonymous #hollowedtheory #harry potter meta #sirius black #good godfather sirius black #albus dumbledore

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makedonsgriva · 7 months ago

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anyway I had a thought today where crown prince xie lian is younger than everyone else.

He is probably 6-7 when he gets mu qing and feng xin (who are 16-17) and they coddle him a lot. Basically XL is their baby brother and baby prince wants to be as strong as his older brothers because they are both so cool!!!

baby lian meets hong-er on the streets one day and please gege can’t we keep him??? I don’t have friends!! You two don’t count cause you’re not my age. Please just please!!!!

So that’s how the trio becomes a quartet and feng xin and mu qing are not only the body guards of the prince but also baby sitters of two very unruly kids who are never up to any good

(They are not getting paid enough to deal with them) (it’s a damn good thing they love the fuck outta those kids)

anyways XL starts his training and ofc Honger tags along. they grow up training together, challenging each other, competing but falling in love at the same time and yeah celibacy is easy for XL except every time he sees HC his thoughts go haywire

When XL ascends, he has three generals by his side.

When he falls, he has two because honger died in the war

And XL truly thinks he is to blame. He went from being the darling of the heavens to someone who has now lost everything. he can’t bear the loss of his beloved

(And he never even got to confess)

Ofc HC keeps him company as a ghost fire because he’d never let his beloved be alone. (XL does not know who the ghost fire is because knowing the love of his life is not at peace would hurt him immeasurably) FX and MQ try their best to stick with him but circumstances deteriorate and they are forced out of his life once again

although this time, MQ does stand up for XL in front of the 33 gods (and gets subsequently banished from heavens). In the end, he still has to leave XL. FX gets forced out of his life after the entire sword ordeal and XL’s subsequent mental breakdown.

Unknown to XL tho they are still both watching over him from a distance because ain’t no way they are leaving their baby bro like this

When XL enters his calamity era, they both lose their minds and are trying their best to subtly stop XL from doing the worst things but THAT STUPID FUCKING GHOST ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WILL NOT STOP ENABLING EVERY BAD DECISION XL TAKES

fx and mq are losing their minds. when xl lies in the streets for three days, they try their best to disguise themselves and go help him but that NAMELESS GHOST!!! He does not let them!! “Your highness would be heartbroken when he realizes you two have seen him in such a state and he’d never forgive himself and you two suck at disguising yourselves anyways~”

wu ming does end up getting dispersed but not before XL realizes his true identity and absolutely loses his mind with grief because how did he manage to lose his loved one not once but TWICE and both the times it was HIS FAULT

He gets banished from heavens again because ofc

knowing xl won’t be able to cope fx and mq finally reveal themselves. xl can feel all ashamed of himself for his actions it’s fine they are not leaving him alone again and they will help him heal and move on

Except one night when the two aren’t paying attention, XL ends up running away. He can’t bear being around them, knowing they know what he did and how he caused honger’s death twice.

(fx and mq never blamed him at all. They were just heartbroken and guilt stricken for not being able to do enough for their darling brother)

Cue 800 years of searching.

This time when XL ascends, he is greeted by two powerful generals who have been reduced to a tearful mess because THEY FINALLY HAVE XL BACK WITH THEM!!! THEIR BABY BRO IS SAFE

they accompany him to mount Yu Jun as themselves and HC comes to XL’s aid

he does not reveal his identity but XL just knows this man is special

FX and MQ then tell him about Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the elusive ghost king who challenged 33 gods and crushed them all

(But he was super nice to both of them and it kinda freaked them out)

When XL meets San Lang. He knows. He just knows it’s Honger and feels like he can finally breathe again because in those 800 years he never once stopped loving him but he waits for him to reveal his identity to him because what is stopping him from telling him and fx and mq?

HC, meanwhile, is sort of embarrassed to meet them, not sure if they would be able to accept this new form of his. He missed them all dearly but he is just not able to move past his self doubts.

It is not until the cave of 10k gods that it revealed who HC really is and instead of FX and MQ freaking out, there is a tearful reunion

Um yeah. A thought was thunked. Bon Appetit

#somehow this AU has more angst potential than the OG work and still it is less ???#idk how to explain it #can y’all see my vision #Xian le quartet being a found family who kept on LOSING each other #like wow #i low key wish someone would write this #mxtx #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #feng xin #wu ming #mu qing #hualian #adding fengqing in the mix would make it 10x more delicious but maybe that’s just me hehe

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jedi-enthusiast · 1 year ago

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Yk one thing I barely see talked abt is the fact that Mace Windu's lineage and thus legacy is one of the longest Order 66 surviving ones in Star Wars WHO STAYED TRUE TO THE JEDI ORDER'S PRINCIPLES.

Like damn, Mace rly managed to establish a liniage of highly competent and compasionate Jedi. The Shatterpoint Lineage either outlasted or survived for nearly as long as the Disaster Liniage who pretty obviously stopped truly representing Jedi with Obi-Wan (only rly returninh to the true jedi way with Luke if ya see him as part of that lineage)

Like- who do we have in the Shatterpoint lineage ?

-Master of the Jedi Order , died trying to save the galaxy from the Sith

-Former council member, died saving her padawan from her brainwashed men

-Rebel Jedi training a student despite everything that went down , died saving his padawan & loved ones from a giant explosion

-THE GUY LITTERALY ABLE TO GET THE CHANCE TO FORCE TIME-TRAVEL WHO SEND HIMSELF INTO EXILE TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES & THE GALAXY

And who do we have in the Disaster Lineage :

-Guy with questionable methods who did his best

-OBI-WAN who rly doesn't need any explanation (who's also the last true Jedi with expection of Luke (if you counf him) to come out of this lineage)

-a genocial manbaby with an alergy for any sort of moral code or basic logic

-a pick me shitting on her own adoptive family, who isn't even a Jedi if we are being honest (sry Ahsoka, but your character to assasinated to a point where I just can't anymore)

And honestly ? It says a LOT that Mace Windu's lineage stands as pretty much last bastion of a true Jedi Lineage from the old Order.

Agreed 100%

And ngl I find it so funny that people constantly praise the Shatterpoint lineage- (Depa, Kanan, Ezra) -and then shit on Mace like, my dude, WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT DEPA AND PASSED ON THOSE VALUES TO HER AND THEREFORE HIS LINEAGE???

But no, Mace's lineage is by far the best imo---I love Obi-Wan and Luke and Yoda, but they get negative points for having not one but TWO genocidal fascists in the lineage- (Dooku and Anakin) -and then someone who thinks the Jedi brought on their own genocide- (Ahsoka) -and then someone who decided that the fate of the galaxy was less important than her feelings and probably kickstarted another war- (Sabine, apparently, since Felony shoe-horned her into the lineage).

Meanwhile the Shatterpoint lineage has the head of the Order who almost won the Clone Wars and stopped the Empire from being created, who only failed because he was betrayed- (Mace) -then an amazing and empathetic general who was literally so selfless that she sacrificed herself to save her padawan- (Depa) -then someone who fought against the Empire, successfully overcame his own issues to both train a padawan and then forgive those who he thought willingly murdered his family, and then sacrificed himself to save his family and give the Rebellion a leg up on the Empire for the Battle of Lothal- (Kanan) -and finally someone who let go of all his grief, rejected the Dark Side SEVERAL TIMES, and then sentenced himself to a life in exile to protect the galaxy from a genocidal fascist- (Ezra).

Like...there's really no competition here.

In the Imperial Era, Mace was probably sitting back as a Force-ghost, watching the Disaster lineage fuck up the galaxy and then have to fix it all over again, smugly staring down Obi-Wan and Yoda like-

Mace, smugly: Hm, did you know that today Kanan taught Ezra how to connect with animals? I'm so proud of them.

Obi-Wan, watching Anakin commit even more mass murder and Ahsoka blame the Jedi for Anakin's actions: Must be nice.

Yoda, staring down Dooku, who literally tried to take over the whole galaxy with a fascist regime: Yes. Nice, it must be.

#star wars #pro jedi #mace windu #obi wan kenobi #yoda #shatterpoint lineage #disaster lineage

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verystrxxwberry · 10 months ago

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Hello Alex, I hope you're doing very well! I think your writing is incredible because you manage to convey the exact essence of the character, so I would like to ask you for an angst hc of Nevra first night since Erika entered the crystal. I'm not fluent in English so I apologize for any mistakes, have a great day and take care!

ELDARYA; the first night Erika entered the crystal

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: How did Nevra experience the first night Erika entered the crystal, sfw, angst, eldarya TO. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Oh my, it’s the first time someone ever tells me that, and I am very glad you think that! I do my best to write as good as I can the character because I fear doing something weird with the character (plus they aren’t my oc so it is different: probably the way I think about them in a situation is different than the opinion of another person) but anyway! Enjoy it.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

The first night was the hardest. Nevra arrived as quickly as possible to the crystal room, but still he arrived too late to help anyone. His best friend was lying down on the floor, his body surrounded by blood and not showing any answer at the sounds around him. Still, Nevra had the last hope of Valkyon being alive- he had to be alive. He didn’t mind getting his hands dirty by Valkyon’s blood, he shook him, tried pcr on him, he yelled at the body. But that body was empty already.

His tears came out without control, and he didn’t even mind because he was too busy trying to accept what his eyes were seeing. It had to be a nightmare. He couldn’t believe it.

Nevra turned around, gazing at Miiko, who was being attended by Eweleïn, but there were no signs of Leiftan or Erika, so he started yelling their names.

He wandered around the crystal room searching for them both, desperate and with a deep pain clawing at his heart. Even if his face was filled with tears, he had an expression of rage. His fists were clenched, prepared to punch Lance if he had the chance to find him.

But when they got told that Erika and Leiftan got trapped in the crystal, he truly hoped for it to break again. This shouldn’t be happening. He approached the crystal and hugged it, screaming if they could hear him.

Come on, the last conversation he had with Erika was to drink from her blood. She allowed him to keep the fight with energy, and he had to do something to help her too. But he couldn’t do anything.

He sobbed against the crystal like a little kid. His emotions were dominating every sense and control in his body. Nevra didn’t mind if there were people from the town watching him breakdown over that, at the end it was normal to break down after seeing the consequences of a war.

It was Ezarel who separated Nevra from the crystal and told Karenn to distract him outside. Nevra was reluctant to let go of the crystal, it stole his lover, his Erika. That place also held the last thing he would remember about his best friend, Valkyon.

All the time he remained outside the general headquarters, he spent it embracing Karenn and crying in her arms. He was desperate and his words went from “I can’t do this anymore” to “this is so unfair.” But he couldn’t change the past.

When the night came, Nevra went to the crystal room, which was still destroyed but finally empty. The silence on it was terrifying, it felt like all the color he saw around in his life was suddenly gone: everything was gray and carried the heavy weight of death. Even if his chest was heavy of remembering what just happened hours before, he decided to stay there. He sat on the floor, looking up at the crystal with the tiny hope of seeing any sign from Erika or Leiftan.

He blamed himself, thinking that he would probably have been able to stop Lance if he just came minutes before. He could have saved Valkyon. He could have saved Erika and Leiftan from being trapped in the crystal. But thinking that way… he could have saved Mery, he could have saved Ykhar as well. He could have saved so many people yet he was always late. And why was he feeling bad over Leiftan? He hated feeling sad for losing him after all the stuff he did, but he couldn’t help it. There was something about all the time he spent with Leiftan that made him miss him.

Nevra heard steps behind him but didn’t even bother to look around. If it was someone willing to stab him, he’d gratefully accept… but no. It was Ezarel who offered him a bottle of water. The elf sat beside Nevra and looked at the crystal. They shared a few words, where Nevra told him with a hoarse voice that he was terribly afraid of losing anyone else. xd

Ezarel remained silent, but he decided that it was correct to embrace his friend and stay there with him. They shared the same deep sadness and anxiety over the situation, so he also found comfort in Nevra’s presence.

They both didn’t sleep a bit through the night. Ezarel had his eyes closed, his head resting on Nevra’s shoulder, but not being able to sleep. Nevra had his eyes open all the time, staring at the crystal and visualizing how it could’ve been if he was there on time.

The next morning he had to take a nap because the headache he had was terribly painful.

The next days Nevra was off. His attention was driven into memories, into the things he experienced that day. He was closed in his own world, and the only ones he dared to open were Ezarel and Karenn.

His sleeping schedule was terrible, either he slept and had nightmares or he couldn’t sleep at all. That also came along with his eating schedule, which was also terrible as he felt nauseous most of the time. It was Karenn the one who forced him to try to eat something to at least feed his body- and it worked, because he was starving, but the anxiety made him feel nauseous constantly.

His coldness increased when he lost Ezarel. Nevra showed himself as being fine with the decision the elf took. He was an adult capable of making his own decisions after all. But he was deeply in denial about it. It was too soon for him to lose another friend. But he did, he lost Ezarel too soon for him to learn to cope with it properly.

✰; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

#: ̗̀➛ alex's eldarya hcs!#eldarya #eldarya headcanons #eldarya the origins #eldarya nevra #eldarya valkyon #eldarya ANE #eldarya ezarel #eldarya karenn #eldarya leiftan #eldarya scenarios #nevra #valkyon #beemoov

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quitealotofsodapop · 1 year ago

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[Once Mac learned that Wukong got possessed trying to take down LBD, the shadow monkey almost 99% decided that he wasn't going to lose his King to that bony biotch. And depeneding on how messy the Samadhi Fire ritual goes, the last thing Wukong says to Macaque is along the lines of "You ruined everything!", and Macaque doesn't want those to be the last words he hears his King say…] + [And soon Macaque started to remember how much him and Wukong discussed Having a family once the war on heaven was over, and how much they both wanted to be parents…]

he spent this whole time trying to put the... whole thing with Wukong on hold until he was free from LBD's control. keyword being trying, ofc. things don't really work like that when you're tasked with hunting the other monkey in question and his friends down, so he accidently made things worse and know he's trying to reign everything back in long enough to have even a chance to fix it.

[Its also around the time Macaque really has it sink in that; "Oh sh-t. I attacked the Monk and fought Wukong when he was pregnant. No wonder he killed me." He isn't sure how to build himself up to discussing this fact with Wukong yet, but he'll get there.]

it's probably something he decides to bring up shortly after the whole s4 debacle. Between the fight from right before ep 1 to the world almost ending again, he doesn't want to risk his death potentially being another surprise argument that gets out of hand or risk another world ending event getting in the way of any substantial healing again. he knows disagreements are normal and even healthy in any kind of relationship, lest the relationship be codependent, but he'd rather not fight about that.

[Red's hair is ruined with baby monkey drool by the time someone gets Yuebei off of him.] + [Nezha, angry flames flaring up: "You mean to tell me that you were "with Stone Egg" during the ritual to separate the Samadhi Fire!? She could have suffered the same fate as Ao Lie!" Wukong, guilt-ridden: "Yeah. Don't remind me. She kicked me non-stop for days afterwards."] + [Yuebei: *tries grabbing Nezha's skates to test the "spicyness"*]

Wukong is laughing at Red the whole time.

Ne Zha def feels a bit guilty about his first reaction being to bring up Ao Lie's death, probably knowing how Wukong feels about it.

and aww no, no I'm picturing Wukong so in pain from Yuebei's distress that he's basically bedridden. I imagine he'd spend this time resting with Ao Lie until they both recovered (atleast on the surface) while the other pilgrims fuss over both of them.

Ne zha can only squawk indignantly when Yuebei manages to get her mouth around one of his rings, immediately trying to pry it from her little jaws. with him and Wukong combined it takes 10 minutes and the promise of a lot of fruit to get her off. luckily the rings aren't perpetually on fire.

[And the dragon's last words to assure his friend that he never blamed him for the accident, nor his baby. Ao Lie was just sad that he'd never be able to meet the cub in this lifetime. He just wants Wukong to stop being so hard on himself for it. If only the dragon he tell him that in person.]

Scroll of memory! Ao Lie already broke the mold by interacting with Mei, he breaks it again when MK + Macaque are scroll diving for Wukong by telling him to pass on the message to the king that his stance on the matter hasn't changed.

[He def makes an awkward apology once they run into eachother at the start of S3. He refuses to let Wukong get into danger or exert himself tho - Nezha's a momma's boy at heart after all.]

Wukong insists it's fine, and that Ne Zha couldn't have known that he kept it from basically everyone, but Ne Zha still feels bad about everything regarding the ritual. he intends to make up for it by doing whatever he can to protect Wukong and his little one now (even if Wukong insists its not nessecary)

[Spider Queen hears the sounds of a thousand knuckles cracking and realises that she's looking at the person who might as well be the Monkey King's Mama. SQ ain't even mad by the end of it.] + [And although SQ kinda trusts the demon a little more, she's far more hesistant to step on the Monkey King's toes than before if his Mama's gonna respond. SQ is a lot more scheming for the rest of S2.]

I love the mental image of Guan Yin using their hundred hands to aid in their righteous beat down

Spoder Queen knows she kinda deserved this, she did put a heavily pregnant person who is practically made of magic in a magic draining web. she was basically asking for this.

she will take this loss with the dignity and grace of the queen (believes she) is and not bother Wukong again (yet) she promises- please don't punch her again.

[LBD almost in the same fashion it tried absorbing the Samadhi Fire so many years ago - guess his baby found the ancient demoness "less spicy".] + [BTW I love the art you did for this scene!! Stone Egg had enough of LBD's nonsense and was Hangry, and Bama had spoken some sense into Baba, and now Nom NOM NOMNOM.]

she is very icy!

and I'm glad you like the art!

[Oh gosh Macaque realising that the baby looking like him brings Wukong joy too would make him cry even harder. He almost cost his mate everything by risking the world over his own debt to the Bone demon. Mac would gladly have died all over again if it kept the baby safe.]

Macaque is an inconsolable sobbing mess of emotions for a while after first meeting Yuebei, for a lot of reasons. and imagine how hard he cries when Wukong first names her out loud officially calling her "Sun Yuebei Xing" for the first time, Yuebei being a moon inspired/adjacent name. he's practically wailing at one point.

[She plants a big kiss on Yuebei's forehead, forgetting that her lipstick stains. Her husband chuckles, still teary-eyed, at his wife's embarassment at planting a big kiss mark on the baby's head.] + [MK is having unknown instinctual urge to curl up with Yuebei (his honorary sister) next to the other monkeys. Pigsy laughs that MK did the same with his fave plushie for years.]

Wukong laughs at the befuddled chirp Yuebei makes when PIF kisses her.

he would also very much welcome MK into his nest with his sleepy little family.

[Also, Mac is def the kinda guy to use exaggerated versions of the Brotherhood's voices when narrating villain characters in Yuebei's books. The little raspberry noises (or "Boos" as Mac likens them to) she makes at the voices encourages him even further.]

I love this. He so would. Wukong would be laughing his tail off the first time he hears Macaque voicing a villain with an over exaggerated Peng voice, Wukong actively encourages him to do this as well.

[And considering Yellowtusk is the only one with the sense to feed and bathe the hostage infant, he's not surprised when she turns on Azure and Peng specifically.]

I'm now thinking of a scene where yellowtusk manages to get Yuebei away from the others long enough to give her bath, and she's fussy about it but baths with her Baba and Bama in the mountains hot springs were usually fun and calm and she felt better afterwards so she didn't put up much of a fight when Yellowtusk tried to get her into the water. anything that reminded her of her parents is comforting right now. but she's crying the whole time and chirping for her parents as she's very far from home and with no one she recognizes, but this elephant is giving her fruit and cleaning her as best he can, so maybe he's okay? she ends up clinging to his trunk like how'd she would cling around her parents neck, and thats how he got his sore trunk during Yuebei's "tantrum". it wasn't her getting mad at him the same way she got mad at Azure and Peng, she was just scared and clung to the first person she felt was safe with, her uncontrolled baby strength leaving it's mark despite him being the only one she didn't really feel threatened by.

kinda sad note on Yuebe missing her parents, but I feel like she'd have seperation anxiety after the s4 debacle. she needs at least one of her parents in the room with her at all times when she's awake or she's wailing at the top of her lungs.

[Some of Peng's feathers are stolen too (Yuebei had a mouthful of them) and Macaque and Sandy turned the feathers into a cat toy. Mo and Yuebei both adore it.]

this is amazing Macaque would so let Yuebei keep a "trophy" of her victory over Peng in the form of a baby appropriate toy. he also is def never letting Peng live down that they lost to a baby if they ever meet face to face again. hell, they day he got Yuebei back he was ragging on Peng for their loss before the bird could even be peeled off the ground

Sequel to this Slow Boiled au post.

[he spent this whole time trying to put the... whole thing with Wukong on hold until he was free from LBD's control. keyword being trying, ofc.]

Yeah, Macaque is having a not-so-fun time trying to get used to being alive again, being still in love with his former mate (who killed him), having his soul indebted to a omnicidal Bone Demon, his former mate having a baby etc...

After finding out about MK and the Stone Egg; Mac was sorta half-hoping that he could duck LBD enough to slowly absorb the whole Wukong situation, maybe meet up with some old allies, get some answers, that sort of thing. The Mayor kidnapping him really threw those plans out the window.

[it's probably something he decides to bring up shortly after the whole s4 debacle. Between the fight from right before ep 1 to the world almost ending again, he doesn't want to risk his death potentially being another surprise argument that gets out of hand or risk another world ending event getting in the way of any substantial healing again.]

It's def a super awkward thing to approach, especially with Yuebi literally just being born and stuff.

Wukong now knows that Mac knows, and is super guilty for not having told him back then. At the same time, Wukong is confused why Max seems so... ok with it suddenly??? Like;

Wukong: "Dude, I killed you." Mac: "Yeah, and I attacked you while you were carrying a baby. Lets call it even." Wukong: "You didn't *know* at the time!" Mac: "Don't matter. Lets just drop it ok?"

Mac does have his own super complex issues regarding the whole "being killed by your former mate"-thing, but in his mind - he really could have killed Wukong and Yuebei if he hadn't been careful. He also knows that in his heart-of-hearts, he wouldn't have even considered fighting Wukong had he known about the Stone Egg ahead of time. He ultimately doesnt want to open up any old wounds Wukong has from the incident since he's been living with the outcome of that fight far longer than Mac has.

Bumping around Wukong's memories in S4 really dredges Mac's buried resentment and confusion about the last fight to the surface. Questions like; Why was Wukong protecting the monk that hurt him? Why was Wukong going on this Journey and not returning to his throne? Why did he hide the Stone Egg from the world?

MK is politely trying his best to let Mac vent to him about what happened between him and Wukong, but ofc they quickly stumble into MK's shared history with the Monkey King.

Lots of hugs, peaches, and family counselling is required afterwards, not doubts about that.

[and aww no, no I'm picturing Wukong so in pain from Yuebei's distress that he's basically bedridden. I imagine he'd spend this time resting with Ao Lie until they both recovered (atleast on the surface) while the other pilgrims fuss over both of them.]

Ao Lie and Wukong are quickly panicking over eachother while their other bros are forcing them to rest after the Samadhi Fire Ritual. Wukong was in so much pain that he was convinced that he was going into labor, or that he even lost Yuebei as a result of joining in the Ritual. Eventually though, the Stone Egg calmed down. Ao Lie's pain did not.

[Ne zha can only squawk indignantly when Yuebei manages to get her mouth around one of his rings, immediately trying to pry it from her little jaws. with him and Wukong combined it takes 10 minutes and the promise of a lot of fruit to get her off. luckily the rings aren't perpetually on fire.]

Yuebei mistook the rings as chew toys and liked the shiny gold colour. It takes Nezha a solid minute of apologizing to Wukong for his past behavior to notice that the little monkey cub has clamped her mouth over one of his skates. Wukong is laughing hysterically, especially as Nezha tries his best to gently remove the ring from Yuebei's mouth without activating it. Luckily all it takes to distract the baby is for Experienced Dad™ Pigsy to pull the oldest trick in the book.

Pigsy: "Got your nose, mooncake!" Yuebei, drops ring: :O! Nezha, quickly picks it up: "How did you know to do that?" Pigsy, still holding Yuebei's "nose" as the baby grabs at him: "You'd swear MK was half-garbage disposal from how much stuff he tried to eat as a toddler. Stealing his nose always worked." Wukong, a little wistful: "Tell me more, please?" Pigsy: "Sure thing. Guess little monkeys aren't much different from little MKs." *gives Yuebei her nose back*

Nezha makes note of hiding anything flammable whenever he visits the monkeys.

[Scroll of memory! Ao Lie already broke the mold by interacting with Mei, he breaks it again when MK + Macaque are scroll diving for Wukong by telling him to pass on the message to the king that his stance on the matter hasn't changed.]

Oh gosh... Imagine this though... Wukong trapped in the Scroll, busting on through his memories. Suddenly he hears a familar voice...

Ao Lie: "Wow! She really did make us all wait, huh?" Wukong, frozen in his tracks: "What?" Wukong: (*slowly turns to see the memory of Ao Lie, far older/frailer than what Mei had seen, standing by and watching the memory of Yuebei's first day of life.*) Memory!Ao Lie, smiling: "She's a perfect little pup... Mei was right on the money when she called her a ball of cuteness! She really looks like you! The blue eyes are a little unexpected, but considering that your mate dragged himself out of Diyu to be there - I guess anything could have happened!" Wukong, lip quivering: "No... you're just that memory curse. Ao Lie never got to see her! You're not real!" Memory!Ao Lie, frowning: "Why are you so stubborn to admit that it wasn't your fault? I really truly never blamed you, or her." Wukong, crying: "Why were you so ok with it? Because of me, the Samadhi Fire it... hurt you." Memory!Ao Lie: "I would rather die protecting my family than live and let them be hurt in my stead." (*quietly moves to hug Wukong*) "That includes you and your pup, Wukong. Always has." Wukong: (*now sobbing, hugging Memory!Ao Lie tight*)

Eventually the Memory!Ao Lie has to remind Wukong that he has friends to reunite with in the present. Wukong hesistates to leave Ao Lie alone again - the memory reassures him that he'll be fine as long as his pilgrim brother lives his life without the weight of the Ritual upon his shoulders. And to make sure to spoil Yuebei in his stead.

[Wukong insists it's fine, and that Ne Zha couldn't have known that he kept it from basically everyone, but Ne Zha still feels bad about everything regarding the ritual. he intends to make up for it by doing whatever he can to protect Wukong and his little one now (even if Wukong insists its not nessecary)]

Ofc Nezha feels like garbage for treating Wukong's actions during the Ritual as a failing.

Wukong thinks he has it bad with DBK, PIF, and Pigsy forcing him to rest? Imagine how stubborn Nezha is when he's worried over the Monkey King.

[I love the mental image of Guan Yin using their hundred hands to aid in their righteous beat down] + [she will take this loss with the dignity and grace of the queen (believes she) is and not bother Wukong again (yet) she promises- please don't punch her again.]

Spider Queen isn't sure who she's afraid of more; the spooky ancient bone demon pretending to be a little girl, or the 1000 Armed Bodhisattva that just whooped her hard (but mercifully let her live) for hooking the Monkey King to the power-draining Spider Mech. Spider Queen makes sure not to directly target or interact with the Monkey King or his protege if she can for the rest of S2.

The Spider Gang has nightmares of Guanyin coming to beat the rest of them up like she's a Jojo stand.

[she is very icy! and I'm glad you like the art!]

It's really great art!!

Also LBD's soul probably tasted like shaved ice with a hint of chalk. Lots of it, but pretty bland. It filled up Yuebei at least!

[Macaque is an inconsolable sobbing mess of emotions for a while after first meeting Yuebei, for a lot of reasons. and imagine how hard he cries when Wukong first names her out loud officially calling her "Sun Yuebei Xing" for the first time, Yuebei being a moon inspired/adjacent name. he's practically wailing at one point.]

Aww ohoho! Macaque makes so many joyous squeaking/hooting sounds during Yuebei's arrival. To hear that Wukong has named her his little "Moon Comet Star" just makes him cry harder, especially with how casually Wukong names her. Like he'd had it it long before this moment, before he even knew that Macaque was back in his life.

I think in older Chinese traditions, the parents typically wait for the Man Yue (30 Days) celebration to publically announce the baby's name. But I bet Wukong is just so happy that he tells everyone Yuebei's name long before that time.

Nezha insisted on being at Yuebei's Man Yue to bless her, as that's his whole Patron God of Children thing.

[Wukong laughs at the befuddled chirp Yuebei makes when PIF kisses her. he would also very much welcome MK into his nest with his sleepy little family.]

There's def a bunch of photos of the incident with Yuebei looking at PIF with the most confused doe-eyed look ever, a huge red kiss mark on her head. The Princess looking embarassed and adoring all at once. It's PIF anf DBK's fave baby photo of Yuebei - besides the one where she tried eating Red Son's hair.

MK is very tired after the battle, so the gang has no problem just letting the kid rest in the nest with the monkeys. t

[I love this. He so would. Wukong would be laughing his tail off the first time he hears Macaque voicing a villain with an over exaggerated Peng voice, Wukong actively encourages him to do this as well.]

Heehee, Macaque finally agrees to read Yuebei a kids-friendly version of JTTW at MK's insistence, and when he gets to Camel Ridge, he pauses before looking towards Wukong for confirmation. At Wukong's excited nod, Macaque grins evily.

Macaque, narrating: "In the kingdom of Lion Camel Ridge, there lived three Great Demon Kings." Macaque, exaggerating the real voices: "Azure Lion! Yellow Tusked Elephant! And the Golden-Winged Peng!" Yuebei: *blows raspberry at the villains!* >:P! Macaque, normal voice: "Yeah, boo! These guys sucked!" Wukong: *laughing hysterically!* MK, sitting cross-legged on the floor: "Did they really sound like that?" Wukong, trying hard not to cry from laughter: "It's closer than you think!"

Macaque also deliberately exaggerates the voices of their allies like PIF and DBK so Yuebei doesn't accidentally associate their voices with the muddy past shown in the book.

[I'm now thinking of a scene where yellowtusk manages to get Yuebei away from the others long enough to give her bath, and she's fussy about it but baths with her Baba and Bama in the mountains hot springs were usually fun and calm and she felt better afterwards so she didn't put up much of a fight when Yellowtusk tried to get her into the water. anything that reminded her of her parents is comforting right now. but she's crying the whole time and chirping for her parents as she's very far from home and with no one she recognizes, but this elephant is giving her fruit and cleaning her as best he can, so maybe he's okay? she ends up clinging to his trunk like how'd she would cling around her parents neck, and thats how he got his sore trunk during Yuebei's "tantrum".]

Awwww..... :(

Yellow Tusk brings up the matter shortly after their takeover. Their former ally's cub is very fussy (especially since Azure has had her for about half a day now) and is starting to smell... ripe. Peng takes one sniff and recoils in disgust. Azure is clueless and isn't sure if monkey cubs work like lion cubs or not. Yellow Tusk has the sense to ask the remaining servants for help with tending to the infant - a group of seven brave orchard maidens stepped forward to run the baby a bath and prepare her a meal. Yellow Tusk is sure that he recognises them.

Baby monkeys instinctively cling to whatever is nearby - especially in situations where they feel scared or unsafe. So when the elephant gently put Yuebei in the warm bathwater and offered her mashed fruit, she instinctively clasped around his trunk like it was the arm of her parents, making sad hooing sounds as she sucked on her fingers. Yellow Tusk felt his heart break at the sight. He simply cannot fathom harming her in any sense of the word.

Azure must be mad to think that Sun Wukong won't kill them all to ensure this child's safety.

[kinda sad note on Yuebe missing her parents, but I feel like she'd have seperation anxiety after the s4 debacle. she needs at least one of her parents in the room with her at all times when she's awake or she's wailing at the top of her lungs.]

Absolutely.

Baby monkeys are already super clingy - the trauma of Yuebei's kidnapping during S4 only intensified this. She fears that if either of her parents leave the room, that they might not come back. Considering it was her parents arguing and "something" (aka the Scroll) taking her Baba away preceeded her kidnapping...

The first few times it happens, Wukong and Mac + the extended fam are terrified and aren't sure *why* Yuebei is so distressed. Eventually they figure out it's her anxiety, and are able to at least keep a clone posted to ease the worst of her worries when the others babysit. MK thankfully is one of the figures that Yuebei is calm around, and while she loves her uncles and aunts; Yuebei still starts wailing after a few minutes of realizing that she can't find her Baba or Bama.

It takes a long time for the baby monkey to be comfortable to not have her parents in sight. And considering how worried and overprotective that Wukong and Mac can be of her, they aren't in any rush to force her independance.

[this is amazing Macaque would so let Yuebei keep a "trophy" of her victory over Peng in the form of a baby appropriate toy. he also is def never letting Peng live down that they lost to a baby if they ever meet face to face again. hell, they day he got Yuebei back he was ragging on Peng for their loss before the bird could even be peeled off the ground]

Imagine the smug look on Macaque's face as he sees Peng reduced to a chicken burger on the ground by a *baby* with not even a tooth in her head. Mac would make a show of picking up his baby girl and kissing her all over while commenting in baby-talk; "Did you have fun with the birdy and kitty, moonlight? Yeah? Do you want Bama to take something to remember your little play date?"

And before Peng could make a snarking comment, they squawk! at the feeling of feathers being removed. They look up and see Yuebei playing with a handful of golden feathers. The Shadow Monkey grinning like a cat who's caught a mouse. The celestial bird faints from embarassment.

Macaque has one of the feathers preserved as a bookmark. It brings him great joy.

Again tysm for being so invested in this au!

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empressgeekt · 19 days ago

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Do you think Branch, after he recovers from his trauma and stops isolating and blaming himself for everything bad that happens to him, could be chosen by the matrix? Honestly, I think he has his flaws but Optimus has them too (poor guys worry too much).

¿Cree que existe alguna posibilidad?

-🦝

Branch on paper could be a good candidate for the matrix. All through out the series (movies at least), Branch is shown to deeply care about the safety of others even at the cost of himself. Nor dose he hold grudges against those who have wronged him. The only person he really holds a grudge against is Creek and that's for his betrayal against the village, not for his disrespect towards the branch personally. Once more upholding the lives of others above his own.

Branch is also not judgmental, and tries to see others perspective on things. Whether or not he agrees with their opinions is up for debate, but he never calls them wrong for it. Yes, he was suspicious of Barb before he met her, but that was coming from a place of caution not hatred. From his understanding at the time, there was a lot of conflict surrounding the strings and the years of isolation of the tribe might not have changed that, he only starts to see Barb as a real threat after seeing what happened to the classical tribe. Even then Branch only sees Barb's actions as the problem not her tribe or her culture. When he's faced with country music for he first time, he doesn't jump to "oh this is wrong" he tries to rationalize it, asking himself if he can figure out why these people find love for this type of music.

Both of these traits are seen in other matrix holders such as Optimus and Rodimus, but personally I don't think Branch would be able to accept such a title like that the matrix grants.

Unlike, Optimus and Rodimus, Branch didn't have a stable support system surrounding him for most of his life. Optimus usually has some kind of career and friend group before the war starts, and Rodimus has friends prior as well. Branch has been alone for years, constantly being told that there's something wrong with him since he's not like the rest of the village, and that he's the one who always ruins everything. Depending on where branch is in his character journey when he receives the matrix, it could manifest into a lot of self doubt about his new role. He's Branch, he's the outcaste, he's not supposed to be the divinely chosen leader. He's going to make things worse and mess up, because that is what his experiences tells him what will happen. He'll probably struggle even harder then Rodimus, because Rodimus is canonically a lot more social then Branch and isn't scared to reach out to others.

So, yeah, he'd be a good choice, but it would take a long time for Ramus Prime to be able to truly step into his role.

#trolls #questions and answers #thank you for the question!#trolls qna #trolls branch #crossover au #transformers #Ramus is Branch in Latin #Not to mention it rhymed with the other primes #Seemed right

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thatfantasyreader · 8 months ago

Text

My submission for @Aki-Bara for the @pjo-equinox-solstice-exchange

Life is short word count 1032. Summary after the war the campers are lost in depression and anger but maybe it’ll get better.

Life is short. That is an understatement when your a demigod. Every twist and turn in your life will probably be your last.

Every demigod knows this, but Percy may know better than anyone else.

His life up to this point should have ended. He knows he shouldn’t be alive. Not when so many aren’t.

Every day he walks through camp wondering if it will be his last.

He tries to appreciate what he has, he does to an extent. But he also thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

The world after the war is a dark one devoid of color or joy. This is Percy’s fault.

Life is short. Annabeth knows this. She’s watched her siblings die in front of her.

She shouldn’t be alive, she knows this too. She prepared her whole life for this war but wasn’t able to save everyone.

Most days she walks around camp being envious of the new campers who didn’t have to make the sacrifices to have the camp.

But as she watches Percy as he walks around camp. She knows it’s not his fault.

Sometimes she would like to blame him for Luke but she can’t. He didn’t do it.

Yet she can’t say it to his face. Looking at him causes too much pain for her to.

Life is short Nico knows this. Bianca died at twelve.

She shouldn’t have, he knows this too. But, for the moment he allows himself to be content with what he has.

He knows the sacrifices everyone has made just to built his small cabin.

He walks in there sometimes and wonders if he was worth the death.

He walks and remembers Bianca. When he does he also remembers that she was dead for him.

Sometimes that revelation is to much to bear. Other times it makes him realize that he must live for her and every person who died for him.

Life is short. The whole camp knows this. While many celebrate their win, many mourn the losses.

People walk around camp alone. Wallowing in their own grief.

Others walk together. Holding on as a lifeline to this mortal plain.

Hoping that if they hold tight enough their lives would continue. Hoping they could stay for a little while longer.

In all this grief only the truly strongest are able to continue living. In something as simple as walking they prove that they have the right to live.

Life is short. Newer campers do not know this. New campers run around laughing happy they have found this utopia.

Percy looks on in envy. The innocence these kids have. He also looks on in sadness knowing that one day soon it will be taken from them.

Annabeth looks at these kids and sees herself. A child so proud of her parentage and her own skills.

The older campers all look at these kids and see different things. A shadow of their past, a lost friend, or innocence not yet ruined but the cold truths.

Life is short. Annabeth realizes this now. She sees the happiness that can still be had in these short lives.

She watches Percy. Hoping the pain she feels will go away. It never will she knows this.

It doesn’t stop her from watching maybe one day the pain will be gone enough to walk with him.

At the moment it’s not. She wishes she could run to him and tell him everything will be ok. But it won’t be, she knows this now.

Life is short. Percy wishes it wasn’t. He knows he has much to be happy for. His family is alive so are his friends, well not all of them.

So many died because of him. Many gave their lives because they believed in him. But that’s just it, he didn’t change the world.

Sure the new campers shall never know about the pain of the war. But, that will not be the last tragedy.

Demigods die young. This is the horrible truth he has been trying to out run.

He walks. Noticing Annabeth watching him. He wishes he could run up to her and kiss her. But he can’t, he’s the monster who killed all her friends.

Life is short. And yet Nico embraces life. But not everyone does. He knows that for a fact. Instead of enjoying the temporary peace he watches his friends stall.

Percy and Annabeth just watch. No action. No happiness. They both blame themselves for what happened.

Nico knows that this may go on forever if no one intervenes. He knows this because it may have been his truth. But Percy helped him. He should repay this.

Life is short but maybe we can enjoy it. It starts small. Percy and Nico talking, Annabeth and Nico reading together.

It gets bigger. Now when campers look outside Percy isn’t walking alone. He and Annabeth walk in complete silence.

It may seem awkward to others, but for them it’s perfect. They walk in sync, taking comfort in the presence of each other.

Older campers start to reconnect. No longer sitting alone, they start to talk.

It starts small. Older campers talking to newer ones. They share their experiences and many tears.

They share stories of their fallen. The legacies of those taken way too soon.

Still Percy and Annabeth walk closer together they stay silent listening to the world around them.

Slowly color seemed to return. Laughter rang out from everyone not just the newer campers.

People walk up to Percy calling him a hero. He doesn’t feel like a hero. But maybe he’s not a monster. Maybe it isn’t his fault. Maybe just Maybe he could be happy too.

Life is short. Too short. But maybe that’s why we should enjoy it.

Percy and Annabeth walk no longer in silence. They talk and laugh and hug. Talking about the upcoming school year. Maybe it’ll be ok.

Nico walks watching as people laugh. Sometimes he does too. Maybe just maybe he could be happy again.

All this happiness seems far away but they’ll achieve it. They all have each other.

Although life is short it can be happy, and we mustn’t waste it thinking about the past.

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keischreiber · 1 year ago

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I'm here with another artwork done by @okcrk0. This has been long overdue for posting because originally I wanted to write the story behind it too, but I just can't words at the moment for my stories. SO.

To give an idea of what's happening, this happens sometime during the time where Marley is actively fighting a war with the Mideast Alliance. Most of the time, Kristina would accompany Magath and Koslow along with the Warrior Unit. However, for this instance, she was left behind in Marley along with the Warrior Candidates who were still in the middle of their training.

However, she received orders from Magath for reinforcements, and that along with the Warrior Candidates, they'll be part of the extraction team that tags along with the additional troops.

Safe to say, when they got there, they saw the current state of their mission. I can imagine this would be the time when the first Anti-Titan artillery was introduced by the enemy. It was an underestimation on Marley's part. They've been through a few missions where they were under siege. However, the enemy had never been able to truly make a dent in Marley's shield... until now.

So, it wasn't surprising when the extraction team was welcomed by the sight of the Armored Titan, lifeless on the ground, and severely damaged. Maybe everyone was in shock due to how severely destroyed their trump card was, and that affected their ability to move. It's hard to accept being defeated by enemies that would have otherwise yielded on any other occasion.

No one would blame anyone from cowering in their boots. Eldians who were conscripted just to be used as weapons probably never imagined something like this. Movement was slow in this bitter taste of defeat. For now, it was important to extract their shifters out, see the damage that this had brought about. Just because they could heal didn't mean that they were exempt from dying.

Kristina would join in the efforts, and eventually, managed to cut through the nape of the Armored. She knew that they could fix themselves up again, so when she saw how Reiner was still heavily injured despite that ability, it shook her to the core.

Often times, she's so good at keeping her emotions buried beneath the surface. However, she was once again reminded that the world they live in was an unforgiving one. The slightest mistake is all it takes to lose everything. And in this instance, if they weren't careful, Marley could lose the only thing they bank on for victory.

Something that she was once again reminded of. That the Eldian race was no different from her. That even they, if they weren't capable, can be welcomed into death's embrace.

She could hear Reiner mouthing off the words "Sorry", to which she answered him sharply to stop talking.

Something fell on his face. Water.

Reiner would ask himself if it was raining... only to realize that the water that fell onto her face was accompanied by the sound of withheld sobs and curses; probably too quiet to be heard in such a chaotic area, but just enough for someone like him who was close enough to the source to hear.

He thinks to himself that he definitely owes Kristina an apology now, not knowing that the only apology that the officer needed was for him to keep on breathing.

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clonesimpextra · 8 months ago

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A Shattered Peace: Chapter 14

Quiet Minds

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Pairing: Commander Wolffe x FemJedi!OC Word Count: 5.7K Chapter Rating: T Chapter Summary: Amara and Wolffe have a much needed discussion on Kamino. Also available on AO3 Author's Note: Yeah, it's been six months. I'm sorry, I went to LA, came back home and fell down a The Bear rabbit hole. I can't promise it won't happen again :)

“We’re still at war, Amara, and you are still a Jedi. There’s a responsibility that comes along with that.”

Master Windu’s parting words echoed in Amara’s head as she watched clones unload crates of weapons and other supplies from her ship to the Tipoca City landing bay. He hadn’t been against her coming to Kamino with Comet. In fact, he’d encouraged it, speaking to the Council on her behalf and ensuring the four-fourteen would be well taken care of in her absence. Amara had told him she needed to be with the 104th, and he’d listened.

But that didn’t mean he hadn’t also been wary of the emotions she’d only barely been able to keep at bay when she’d awoken from the dream she knew now couldn’t have been just a dream.

Hand gripping tight to hers, pulling her closer.

Ash covering them like snow.

A breath whispered across her cheek.

I wish you were here.

Amara blinked back the memories, refocusing on the clones lining up crates in front of her. She knew it wouldn’t do any good. The dream would remain, in the recesses of her mind, clouding every thought and decision she would make. Part of her wondered if Master Windu had sensed this. Could tell she’d be no good in the field with half her mind stuck in a place she couldn’t return with a man she was desperate to return to.

At that moment, the landing bay doors opened and Master Shaak Ti walked in, followed closely by a clone in full, plain armor. Amara didn’t need any symbols or paint to know it was Wolffe, though her heart ached at the missing maroon. She wouldn’t have even needed to see his maroon Force color. She could feel him in her bones and the sudden weight of him pulled a gasp right out of her.

She hadn’t been able to sense him in the Force since the Malevolence, relying on the promises of the council and a brief message from Master Plo to assure her he was alive. And then the dream … she’d felt him physically, somehow, but it wasn’t quite the same. The smudges of him in her mind, the flickers of him on her skin. Only now that they were back in full force did Amara realize how much she’d come to rely on them. How lonely she’d been without them. Without him.

She was staring at him now, could see the exact moment his visor turned toward her. Wolffe was too good a soldier, too much of a perfectionist, to react physically. But his Force color pulsed around him, the maroon vibrating between dull and bright and she could feel his relief at seeing her, too. She smiled for the first time in a week, taking a step forward only to be stopped by the brush of an armored shoulder pushing lightly past her.

Amara sighed, smile faltering, as she watched Comet quickly salute Shaak Ti before grasping his brother’s arm. Comet had spoken to her only as much as he absolutely needed to during their trip from Coruscant. Amara didn’t know if he was still mad at her for not ordering the four-fourteen to Abregado, mad at himself for not being with the 104th, or worried about his remaining squad. She thought it was safe to assume it was all of the above, and she couldn’t blame him for that because she was mad and worried, too.

She watched as Wolffe clapped Comet on the shoulder and turned him toward the door, probably taking him to see Sinker and Boost, wherever they were. But as the door slid open and Comet stepped forward, Wolffe’s helmet turned back toward her, a question emanating from him in the Force that Amara wasn’t even sure he knew she could feel. When he didn’t turn back around, stayed looking at her, Amara smiled softly and nodded. They’d talk later. They had time now, despite everything.

Wolffe gave a curt nod back and turned to follow Comet. Amara closed her eyes, relieved to find the weight of him stayed with her even after the door slid shut behind him.

“Amara,” Master Shaak Ti suddenly spoke from next to her, “it’s good to see you in person.”

Amara blinked, surprised and more than a little unsettled that she’d missed the Togruta’s approach. She turned away from the door and smiled softly at Shaak Ti. “Hello, master. It has been a while, I suppose.”

Shaak Ti tilted her head, studying Amara with patient eyes that, in Amara’s experience, had never failed to pull the truth out of a person. “How are you?”

Amara almost laughed at the question. There weren’t enough expressions in Basic to describe how she was. But Shaak Ti’s gaze was unwavering, and something about that made Amara take a moment to really consider her response.

How was she?

Angry and upset. Heartbroken and scared. Confused and lonely.

And it all circled around that moment on the bridge of the Sagacious. When her mind shattered with the draining of so many colors in the Force. There was only one word she could think of, and it didn’t come close to the truth of it.

She said it anyway, looking off to the side and away from the Togruta’s eyes.

“I’m … sad.”

Shaak Ti hummed but didn’t say anything further, only placing her hand on the crook of Amara’s elbow and gently squeezing before letting go. A small amount of comfort, but comfort nonetheless.

Amara cleared her throat and looked back at Shaak Ti. She couldn’t stand here forever, she’d come to Kamino for a reason.

“I wasn’t given much information before I left Coruscant,” which was technically true; she’d left before anyone could. “Catch me up to speed, master?”

Shaak Ti nodded, gesturing for Amara to follow her out of the landing bay. “Depending on how clean up goes in the Ryndellia system and his own recovery, Master Plo should join us in a standard week’s time. He said he trusts you to oversee matters until he arrives.”

Amara nodded, eyes flicking around the hallway, listening but also wondering if Wolffe was still near. The too-white hallways reminded her of medical centers — cold and sanitized — and she tried to imagine what it would have been like to grow up in a place seemingly devoid of warmth.

But then, she’d lived five years surrounded by warmth, and it’d never really been able to push past her skin. Maybe there was more here than she could see right now. She’d have to ask Wolffe.

When she glanced back at Shaak Ti, the Togruta was watching her, smiling softly.

“It’s been a while since you’ve seen your former co-commander, too, no?”

Was she being that obvious? Amara shrugged, doing her best to maintain eye contact this time. “About two months.”

“A long time for people who to used work so closely together,” Shaak Ti stopped them in front of a door, waving her hand to open it and stepping inside.

Amara followed, fingers aching to reach up and pull at a braid that no longer lay down her shoulders. She never should have started wearing them up. “It was an adjustment. I’m just glad I can be of help with his rebuilding efforts.”

“Hmm, yes, I believe Commander Wolffe is glad you’re here as well. Please,” Shaak Ti gestured to the meditation cushions at the center of the room before Amara had a chance to react to her words, “have a seat so we can discuss.”

Amara eyed the other woman as she settled. Something in her tone had shifted when they entered her office. “I take it we’re in for a long discussion, then?”

Shaak Ti sat across from her and sighed, shoulders slumping for just a moment before leveling Amara with a calm but serious gaze. “I’m afraid so. This transition with the 104th is not going to be an easy one.”

*****

Amara had always been a fidgety child. According to Master Windu, she hadn’t sat still for the entirety of their trip from Lothal to Coruscant. In an effort to keep her from messing with the ship controls, he’d removed the crystal from his lightsaber and given her the hilt. An hour later, she’d disassembled the entire thing. She’d looked up at him, standing behind her with arms crossed and a scowl at the ready, and smiled. It would be a few more months before she was ready to speak, but her message, Master Windu told her, was clear through the Force.

I think I understand now.

Amara didn’t remember the specifics of that moment, just the feelings. Though she’d been happy to leave Lothal and was instantly fascinated with her first glimpse of space, her stomach had still twisted itself into knots with worry. All she’d known with absolute certainty was that it was OK to trust the man next to her. Everything else, from the controls on the strange ship to the blue lights blurring past the viewport, was confusing to her. She remembered that confusion slipping away into curiosity the second Master Windu placed his lightsaber hilt in her hands.

Her mind had quieted, her focus narrowed. By the end of that hour, she’d broken apart her confusion until it was lying before her in smaller pieces that were much easier to process. Over the years, she’d approached similar feelings the same way. Study, break down, understand, rebuild.

The methodical practice was why she was so good with ships — flying them and fixing them. And if doing so also gave her the space and time to sort through whatever issues she was dealing with outside of the ship? Then that was why she found herself in the belly of her Jedi-issued Theta-class shuttle in the Tipoca City hangar in the dead of night.

Her talk about the 104th with Shaak Ti had left her rattled, and she’d needed an outlet. The more the Jedi master had explained, the angrier and more afraid Amara had become. Disband the 104th? Split up Wolffe, Boost, Sinker, and Comet, after everything they’d been through? It was unimaginable and cruel and—

“Fuck.”

Amara yanked her finger back from the now-sparking exposed wire and sighed. Her mind was quieting the way it usually did when replacing a problem she didn’t know how to fix with one she did. Maybe because she’d never faced a problem quite like this one, that mattered to her so much.

Shaak Ti had said that the Kaminoan Prime Minister, Lama Su, had at least stopped pushing the disbanding efforts. He’d agreed to the rebuilding, so long as the Republic was still willing to pay and the trainers signed off on the battalion’s progress. It was the trainers who were the real problems. According to Shaak Ti, they’d been testing not only the shinies but Wolffe, Sinker, and Boost, too, seemingly determined to reveal some sort of fault. It’d been a tiring few days for everyone.

Amara had been able to sense the weariness in Shaak Ti and promised to take over, to keep watch on the training, and the trainers themselves. That was why she was here, after all.

But that wasn’t the only reason, was it?

Amara thought again of her dream, which she only called a ‘dream’ at this point because she didn’t know what else to call it. Having a dream that felt as real as this had once was maybe a coincidence, something she could and had brushed off as some deep-seated loneliness she needed to deal with. But twice? She didn’t know what to make of it, and she was scared to tell anyone, even Master Plo, for fear that they’d order her away from Wolffe for good and she… she couldn’t do that.

Or rather, she huffed as she pushed the wire aside and put a hand to her forehead, she didn’t want to. Normally, the very suggestion of that would scare her, too. Maybe even scare her enough into finally approaching at least Master Plo about it all. But something always stopped her. Something in the Force felt right when she thought not about the dreams, but about Wolffe’s place in them — his place with her in them and his place in her decision to come to Kamino. She was supposed to be here, with Wolffe and Comet, Sinker and Boost. Even if right now she wasn’t at peace with what was going on, her body and her mind felt at peace with her choice to try and help. Her choice primarily being born from Wolffe’s words in her dream, though?

If this choice hadn’t felt right… if the Force worked against it instead of encouraging it, would she have come anyway?

I wish you were here.

Amara thought of the pain she’d felt from Wolffe when he’d said that, with his forehead pressed against hers, fingers squeezing her palm against his chest. If she could have forged them together, pushed so hard against him that his skin became hers, her breath ran filled his lungs, and he could have woken up with her in his bones, she would have. The Force’s will be damned.

And that… that did scare her.

The idea that she should could possibly betray the Force, the one thing that had been with her through everything, that had brought her comfort during those long nights on Lothal after her family had left her, made her sick. But before she could spiral any further into that thought, Amara felt it fall away. Pushed aside by a familiar wave of deep maroon.

Amara pushed her forehead against the panel in front of her and sighed before he could even take a breath.

“Thought I might find you in here.”

Amara’s heart clenched at the deep timber of Wolffe’s voice. She’d played his holo message a dozen times in the last few days, but there wasn’t anything quite the same as hearing it so close and clearly. She turned around and offered him a small smile, heart clinching more when she saw him leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed, head tilted as he looked down at her. Something in his eyes felt like their dream, and Amara glanced to the side, grabbing a towel to wipe oil off her hands.

“Comet tell you the ride here from Coruscant was a bit bumpy?”

Wolffe huffed out a laugh. “He did. Among other things.”

Amara nodded, thankful for the distraction of thinking of Comet’s anger at her that hadn’t been resolved on their short trip to Kamino. He’d avoided her, settling himself in the bunk room before she even had a chance to broach the topic. “It’s been a rough few days for him, being away from all of you. Not knowing …”

If any of you were alive.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Wolffe pushed himself off the wall, walked over to Amara and reached a hand down. “Doesn’t mean he should be taking it out on you.”

Amara sighed and took his hand, noting that he’d removed his gloves, and let him pull her up. Standing in front of him now, hand still holding his, Amara finally felt her mind quiet. Just like it always did when she tinkered with ships. Just like it hadn’t earlier.

She very suddenly also felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Gently pulling her hand away, Amara sat on one of the upturned crates still lined against the wall. Wolffe stayed where he was, giving her space but watching her all the same. She looked down at the floor, taking a shaky breath and closing her eyes against his attention. Never mind that it only made her feel him all the more strongly.

Her connection to Wolffe through the Force had always been more. She couldn’t read his thoughts, couldn’t always tell exactly what he was feeling, but she had a strong sense of him. A firm grasp on his wellbeing. Even when he was hiding behind his shields, he’d had to work to not feel him, which was why it had been so jarring when he’d disappeared from her during the Malevolence attack.

Now, though, the filtering effect of his shield was gone. And, based on the calm and curious vibrations floating through the Force from him to her, he knew and didn’t care.

That was certainly different. But before she could even think about unraveling that thread, Wolffe interrupted the silence.

“Comet said you passed out. Before anyone told you about us.” Amara nodded, eyes still closed. “What happened?”

Snapshots of that moment flashed through her mind for the second time that day. Pain, screams, grey, general are you OK? Bodies frozen in place before obliterated into stardust. Amara shook her head, finally opening her eyes to force the memories away.

“I don’t think—”

“I’d like to know.”

Something in Wolffe’s voice made her finally look back up at him. It was just as intense as always but softer, somehow. It reminded her of the way he’d spoken to her on Tibrin, before everything changed. When they’d watched the sunset and Amara had been so sure she was about to kiss him. And she would have, but, as she watched him now, she was glad she didn’t. They didn’t know each other all those months ago, not really. An argument could be made that they still didn’t know each other as well as they could.

But that voice… Wolffe was trying. The least Amara could do was try, too.

She swallowed around the knot in her throat, trying to figure out where to start, how to make him understand that she meant it when she eventually told him a part of her died with all their men.

“Do you know how many we lost that day?” She watched him carefully, paying more attention to the plain white plastoid of his chest plate than the too large number he gave. She already knew the statistics; she wasn’t used to seeing him without maroon. Not in a long time.

He was waiting for her to continue, so she nodded, looked back up into his eyes. “I’d wager I knew about half the people on that ship well. Knew their names and their Force colors and their stories.”

Amara grit her teeth as she thought especially of Bash and Del, two of the boys who’d waited to tell her goodbye the night she’d left the 104th, and Caster, the 104th’s head clone medic who’d patched her up more times than she could count. She was haunted by the knowledge that if she searched her mind hard enough, she’d be able to point to which part of her pain had been specifically their deaths.

She took another deep breath and continued. Rip the bacta patch off, get it over with it.

“So when the Malevolence… attacked? I could feel all of them, even from as far away as we were. I could feel all their pain, all their fear. Just for a split second, but it was enough. And it was overwhelming. So much at once, I didn’t know who I was feeling. I didn’t know if you—” she swallowed and started again. Wolffe waited. “I tried searching for you and Master Plo in the Force, but the pain was so much I couldn’t focus enough. I thought you were both … I thought you were all dead. For hours. Comet did, too. We didn’t find out the details, or that there were survivors, until we were back on Coruscant.”

Amara remember very clearly the first few hours after they arrived. Comet had sped off to GAR headquarters before she could say anything to him. She’d wanted to follow, to be with him when they found out how bad everything was. She hadn’t wanted to be alone.

But she’d watched him leave, his transport heading in a different direction from hers. And as soon they landed at the Jedi Temple, Amara had forced herself to the Council Room. She’d spent the entire trip in hyperspace wishing they’d arrive faster, but at that moment, she’d wished she could exist just a little bit longer in the unknown. Because if Wolffe was dead, if Master Plo was gone, everything would change. And too much had changed these days, she wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

But Commander Riv had walked with her, his shoulder occasionally brushing against hers, a solid presence keeping her from turning around and running. And later, in the Council Room, keeping her from screaming.

The Council had told her there was nothing more for her to do but rest. Anakin and a quickly recovered Plo were handling everything. She could take some time, prepare for when she was needed next.

Amara had nodded her thanks, sent Riv to the barracks and herself to her room. But she hadn’t rested. She’d cried herself to sleep.

“And then you decided to come here,” Wolffe interrupted her thoughts once again. It wasn’t a question, but she could sense him searching for an answer anyway. Before she could decide how to even begin explaining that, Wolffe continued. “So why’s Comet mad at you?”

Amara blinked up at him, thoughts about their dream pushed to the back of her mind for now. “He didn’t tell you?”

Wolffe shook his head, eyebrows creasing together. “Hasn’t been much for talking the past few hours, to be honest.”

Amara sighed. She wasn’t exactly surprised, but she’d hoped Comet would open up to his brothers even if he was still avoiding her. Wolffe deserved to know what happened on the Sagacious, especially if it could negatively affect Comet. She just wasn’t sure if it was her place to tell him. If Comet would view it as yet another betrayal. Then again… what was one more anyway?

Amara looked directly at Wolffe as she spoke. “When we got the call about the Malevolence, the Council ordered us to carry on back to Coruscant. Comet wanted to head straight for the Abregado system, see if we could help. He assumed I’d agree, but I said no.”

She watched and felt for Wolffe carefully, for a sign that he was mad at her choice. She wouldn’t have blamed him if he was.

But Wolffe only nodded, his Force color an unwavering shade of deep maroon. “I would have, too.”

Amara closed her eyes again at his words. She’d believed what she’d told Comet on the Sagacious, that Wolffe would have done the same as her. But they’d lost so much. He had lost so much. And she wasn’t there.

She didn’t want to feel the lightness that came with his confirmation. She didn’t deserve it, and this… none of this was supposed to be about her. He’d said he wished she was here, in their dream. She had felt his need, for someone he didn’t have to be a leader around, someone who could share his burdens, flowing through her blood like it was her own. Maybe it had been.

Amara cleared her throat and straightened up on the crate, moving to the side so there was enough room for another person, even with all his armor on. She raised an eyebrow at him and Wolffe took the cue, sitting down next to her. With him this close, Amara thought of Tibrin again. Or rather, after Tibrin. In the Resolute’s medbay when he’d comforted her, the same way he was trying to now. All she wanted — all she’d ever wanted since that moment — was to do the same for him. And the only place she could think of where to start was their dream.

“I know none of this has been easy for you, either. Even more so than for me. You were there. And I…” She didn’t know how to continue, how to bring it up. It felt like an invasion of privacy, even if it hadn’t been intentional. Amara swallowed, looked Wolffe in the eyes, and continued anyway.

“We should talk about the dreams.”

Wolffe didn’t so much as blink, which was confirmation enough. The dreams were more than just dreams. Finally, he nodded, as if he’d been waiting to bring them up, too.

“So, they’re not really dreams then? They’re real?”

Amara hesitated, weighing how to answer his question when she didn’t really even know herself. “From a certain point of view, I suppose,” she shrugged, looking around the ship as if it could give her anything clearer. “What happens in there can’t hurt us, I don’t think. It feels more like a shared mental space. Everything we say, everything we do… it’s not just our subconsciouses. It’s us. At least, I think that’s what it is.”

She glanced back at Wolffe as he nodded again, eyebrows creased in thought. “Do you know how it happened?”

Again, Amara hesitated. The truth was, she had an idea. She’d spent most of the trip from Coruscant thinking of any explanation for the dreams and she’d finally landed on a distinct possibility. She just didn’t know how to tell him, didn’t want him to be upset with her for not admitting to it earlier. But every mess they’d found themselves in before, Tibrin the biggest of them all, had resulted from a lack of honesty. She wouldn’t go back to that, wouldn’t risk this — whatever it was — again.

“Back on Tibrin, after the explosion,” she paused, cleared her throat. “After the explosion, you were unconscious when I found you. You— you wouldn’t wake up. I tried everything. Yelling at you, slapping you, shaking you. You wouldn’t wake up and I needed you to wake up because I was so tired, Wolffe, and I wasn’t sure I could carry you all the way to the ship. So I did the only other thing I could think of. And I need you to know that I wouldn’t have done this if I’d had any other options.”

Wolffe tilted his head at her. “You saved my life. I don’t think I’ll really care how you did it.”

Amara didn’t know why, but his words frustrated her. He should care. They were most likely in this mess because of her. Maybe she’d saved his life, but she’d only had to because of her own stupid mistakes.

She shook her head, frustration pouring into her words. “Even if it involved me digging inside your head? Because that’s what happened.”

Wolffe’s eyes widened a fraction and he finally looked away. She could see a his neck straining as spoke. “Jedi mind trick?”

“Not exactly,” Amara sighed. There was no use in hiding anything now. “But similar enough. I used the Force to enter your subconscious and encourage you to wake up.”

She watched Wolffe carefully as her words sank in. She could see his jaw clench, and the movement made her heart hurt.

“Did you do anything else in there?”

“No,” her response was immediate because it was the truth. She would never. “I… sensed some things, but I swear. Wolffe, I promise, I didn’t touch them, didn’t mess with them, didn’t even look at them. I just needed you to wake up.”

Wolffe looked back at her, his eyes wary in a way she hadn’t seen since they’d first met. Amara had to bite down on her lip to keep from crying.

“Have you ever done that before?” He cleared his throat, eyes still not leaving hers. “Or since?”

Amara didn’t look away. “No. It’s a tricky thing to do, and I’d never done it with anyone else. Master Plo always said it was only to be used in emergencies and that… that was an emergency. To me. I— I would never do that without your permission.”

“Unless it was an emergency.”

Amara nodded, biting her lip harder until she tasted blood. “I should have told you as soon as you woke up, but everything was a mess and I… I didn’t think it would affect anything. I’m sorry.”

Wolffe stared at her for a moment longer before he rolled his eyes and leaned back against the wall, shoulder plates nudging her. “Like I said. You saved my life.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about how I did it. It’s still an invasion.”

Wolffe turned his head to look at her again and Amara didn’t know why he was letting her off so easily. But the wariness she’d seen in his eyes just a moment earlier was gone. Replaced with something closer to content, tinged, maybe, with a bit of exasperation.

“So that caused,” he motioned between their heads, “this?”

“It’s the only thing I can think of. I’m not even really sure what this would be called, but I’m pretty sure it’s something like a… Force bond.”

“Explain to the non-Jedi in the room?”

It was Amara’s turn to roll her eyes, relieved to see the corner of Wolffe’s mouth twitch. This was more solid ground they were walking now.

“It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like,” she shrugged. “A powerful connection through the Force between two people.”

“Oh,” Wolffe nodded, sarcasm still dripping from his words, “is that all?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Amara stood up from the crate, fingers twitching with the ache to be working on something she did understand. “We don’t really know why it happens, just that if you forge a connections strongly enough with someone, there’s a chance it could.”

Wolffe leaned forward, elbows on his thighs as he watched her. “How can I have this… Force bond… with you if I’m not a Jedi?”

Amara sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that rotation and sat back down. “I don’t know. Usually they only occur between two Force-sensitives. But, like I’ve told you before, all living beings are connected to the Force. Even if that connection isn’t always as strong as with others, you don’t have to be a Jedi or Force-sensitive to feel its affects. Still,” she glanced down at him, “I meant it when I said I’m not entirely sure what this is.”

Wolffe pushed himself back up, meeting her eyes again. “So what do we do?”

“I honestly don’t know. But I can feel it, the bond whatever it is, growing stronger.” She tilted her head, letting herself feel him in the Force. She didn’t even have to try anymore, he was just there. And he was almost overwhelming. She’d thought before that he didn’t have his shields up, but maybe…

“Do you have shields up right now?”

Wolffe nodded, eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“I can still feel you,” she laughed, confused, “intensely. That has to be the bond. I don’t… I don’t know how safe this is, actually.”

Wolffe scoffed. “I thought the Force was always right?”

“When you follow its lead, yes. But this… I can’t tell if I ‘m following or if I manipulated it.”

Could that be what was happening? Had she corrupted the Force when she’d pushed her way into Wolffe’s head? The very thought made her feel nauseous.

“You haven’t asked anyone?” Wolffe looked slightly bewildered when Amara shook her head.

“At first, I didn’t know how to, but then it felt, I don’t know, wrong? Asking anyone about a potentially dangerous thing that doesn’t only involve me, I mean.” She nudged Wolffe’s thigh with her own, kept it close instead of pulling away. “Whatever people decide from what I say could affect you, too. I’ve already pulled you into this. I won’t force you down another path you don’t want to follow. Say the word, though, and I promise I’ll find a way to stop this.”

They watched each other, neither moving as Wolffe mulled over her offer. Amara desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, knew it would be easy to slip into the Force and feel it for herself. She pushed away the notion before it could even become a real possibility. She wanted him to trust her more than that. When he finally spoke, his eyes were trained on the space where their thighs touched. Amara briefly wondered if he could feel her through the plastoid.

“The dreams,” he cleared his throat, voice rough around the edges but clear, “they’re better when you’re there. I don’t know that I want to give that up.”

Amara felt an immediate rush of relief, covering it with a quick nod. “Then we figure out how to manage it. We keep an eye on it,” she nudged him again and his looked up. “We communicate. If it gets too much or too intense or too… weird. I’ll seek out help.”

Wolffe nodded as she spoke and a warmth bloomed in Amara’s chest. She couldn’t explain it, but despite how much she didn’t know, despite how uncertain this whole thing was, this decision between the two of them felt right. All the way down to her bones.

And suddenly, everything about this connection felt purely like the Force’s will. Not like manipulation. The way it flowed from her into him and back again. The way his Force color pulsed a brighter shade. It was right. It was good. It had to be.

Without speaking, they left the ship together, and as they walked out of the hangar and reached the point in the too-white hallway, that doesn’t feel as intimidating to Amara as it did earlier that day, where they have to part ways, Wolffe turned to her.

“We have training tomorrow, and I know you’ll be there. But,” he looked back toward the hangar, corner of his mouth twitching once more, “I think that ship of yours could use some more maintenance.”

Amara smiled, the first real smile since before the Malevolence, and hummed. “I think you’re right. I’ll probably come back tomorrow night. See what else I can get done before bed.”

Wolffe nodded, looking back at her, face almost as soft as in the holo recording she still had in her pouch. “Sounds like a plan,” he glanced around them at the empty hallway, stepped closer to her, “Amara.”

He turned quickly and walked away, toward his room. And as Amara did the same, heart pounding the way it always did when he said her name instead of her title, she reached for him in the Force.

She wondered if he even realized when he reached for her back.

#commander wolffe #w: a shattered peace #oc: amara kora #commander wolffe x oc

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