#he realized how fascinated I was by the idea of his true form

[redactedlove]

Just me & G…

hi @overclockedselfshipping !

[emilicious0]

Oooh, I got a request!

Can I get a Lucifer X reader headcanons or fic where reader is like fascinated with his wings? Bc let's be honest, it angels were real, I definitely would be fascinated with their wings and he got three pairs of them!

lucifer x gn! reader

pt.2 !!!

after rebuilding the hotel, charlie's dad, lucifer himself, decided to stay with his daughter. done with living alone for so long, he started to create a bond with all of the residents (except alastor). with you, however, he finally found a true friend.

your friendship began when he visited the hotel before the battle, and charlie introduced you as one of the sinners looking for redemption. you were one of the first ones to ever believe in charlie's idea, and seeing how you supported her made him respect you. after the battle with the extermination army, he saw you protecting his daughter, which led to you two officially becoming friends.

of course, there is more to your friendship than just love for charlotte. you shared many similar interests. you were always interested in art and all of its aspects, which lucifer gladly discussed with you (he was amazed by different kind of art aspects that humans created). also, you happened to be a good listener, so the king of hell used you as his personal problem dump (not that you minded).

you were surprised by how well you two got along but weren't complaining about this newfound relationship whatsoever. lucifer was kind, protective, and someone to trust.

this evening was surprisingly peaceful by hell standards, and you decided to spend your time on the balcony, reading. you don't get many chances to do that peacefully in a place like this, so you were making the most of it.

while sitting there, you heard the flapping of wings, which made you tense up for a second, only to hear a familiar voice:

“well, look who it is!”

you looked up and couldn't hide the fascination forming on your face. lucifer landed on your balcony with three pairs of his beautiful wings behind his back.

when he landed, he did not hide them, noticing your shocked expression. you stared at him, which made the man blush a little. he loved it when you gave all your attention to him.

“y/n?” he asked, and you snapped out of your shocked state.

“can I touch your wings?”

you slammed your hands over your mouth, embarrassed and worried that this question was too rude.

lucifer got more flustered but smiled rather shyly and came closer to you.

with a low whisper, he said: “you can.”

you stood up and carefully put your hand on his shoulder, then on his right top wing. lucifer gasped quietly but stood still.

meanwhile, your hand moved across the wing, then lower to the second one. you carefully touched his feathers, shocked by the softness.

the man was melting at the feeling of your touch, loving how your fingers brushed his wings. he never really wanted that moment to end.

for this one moment, you both looked into each other's eyes, and sparks flew between you.

both of you wanted to say something, but words stuck in your tongue. you felt lucifer's hand on your waist and sensed your cheeks warming up.

your hands moved to his shoulders, and you both came closer to each other, somehow enchanted by one another.

“dad!” charlie's voice came from behind you, and you jumped away from each other. “there you are! I need your help! y/n, come with us too!”

“y-yeah, char, coming!” you said and followed the princess, but stopped to look at lucifer. “you coming?”

he, red in the cheeks, nodded and slowly followed both of you.

today, you two realized your feelings.

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Not alone [Harry Potter x reader]

Pairing: Harry Potter x f!reader

Summary: After spending some time with your crush Harry, and while on your way to Hogsmeade, you decide you don't want him to be alone.

Word Count: 1.3K

Warnings: Fluff, English is not my first language!

A/N: Had this idea (which was supposed to be a drabble but oh well) while watching the third movie yesterday. Harry and y/n are supposed to be in their third year (to stay true to the books) but feel 100% free to imagine them being older if it makes you more comfortable. Enjoy! Comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated :)

The one thing new third years in Hogwarts were looking forward to the most was the fact that, after hearing their elders talking about how awesome all the shops in Hogsmeade were and all these rumors about the Shrieking Shack, they were finally allowed to go too. When you received your permission form, you immediately went to your parents so they could sign it. Soon, your friends wrote to you about how fun the trips to the village would be, and you answered , genuinely, that you were just as excited. 

So when it was time for the new year to start and to get inside the Hogwarts express, your friends were already talking about it while looking for a compartment. After a while, you ran into three people, and you recognized them immediately, not only because they were in your year, but also because of them was your crush - Harry Potter. You immediately felt your heart beating faster and your cheeks becoming hotter, especially when, when he was about to enter a compartment after Hermione, he turned his head towards you, and seeing you, waved.

“Hi, y/n.”

You cleared your throat, trying to pull yourself back together, and managed to smile back.

“Hi, Harry.” 

He gave you one last smile before going into the compartment, and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Your friends didn’t know you had a silly crush on the Boy who Lived, as you knew they wouldn’t stop teasing you about it if they did know, so you kept your disappointment - and hope of the dark haired boy truly noticing you - to yourself. He talked to you sometimes, and you two were sometimes paired together for group projects which all ended in a very good grade - and even a correct one with Snape - and he was nice and friendly, but you felt like he acted the same with most of your classmates, which made you believe that your crush wasn’t reciprocated. 

The next month, the visits to Hogsmeade started, and you and your friends were just as excited as the other students. The day before the first visit, you went to the common room sometime after class and found Harry there, a book open before him - but it was obvious he wasn’t reading it, as he looked lost in his thoughts. There were only you two here, and you didn’t know whether you should go and talk to him or not. Gathering up some courage, you walked up to him.

“That book seems fascinating,” you teased.

Coming back to reality, Harry raised his head towards you and smiled.

“Oh, hum, yes,” he said. “We’re supposed to read it for Binns and write something about it.” 

“Ah, yeah, that one. I planned to do it tonight, too.”

And before you realized what you said, Harry answered.

“Oh. Well, we can do it together if you want?” 

You looked at him, incapable of speaking, and after a while, Harry cleared his throat. 

“I mean, it’s fine if you don’t want to, I know you have good grades in that class…”

“No!” you almost screamed. “I mean, of course we can do it together. I’d love to.” 

“Cool,” Harry said, nodding slightly. “Well, you should take a seat.” 

“Oh, of course, sorry.”

You felt yourself blushing, feeling horrible for being so awkward around him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. The two of you started doing your homework, but soon started to talk about other topics like Quidditch or Professor Hagrid’s classes, not noticing the people coming and going. You guys laughed a lot too, and for the first time, it felt easy to talk to him. You still managed to finish the homework, and when you did, it was already time for dinner.

“Maybe we should go, don’t you think?” Harry asked. 

“Yes,” you nodded.

You two went to put your bags in your respective dorms before meeting again in the common room a minute after, and went together to the Great Hall. Here, you saw your friends as well as Hermione and Ron, and wondered if Harry would decide to rather stay with them than with you, but you ended up sitting next to him, and actually talked a lot with him, inadvertently forgetting about your friends. After dinner, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, you and Harry walked together back to the common room, still chatting. 

“y/n?”

You turned your head and saw your friend Parvati.

“Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to go to bed.” 

“Oh.”

You looked around and saw that the rest of the Gryffindor house had already gone to their dorms.

“I guess you’re right.” you said before turning back to Harry. “Well, good night, Harry.”

“Good night, y/n.”

You followed Parvati into the dorm you shared, and fell into an easy sleep, dreaming of a boy with green eyes and a scar on his forehead.

The next day, everyone in your class was talking about going to Hogsmeade, which made you realize you maybe should have asked Harry if he was going.  The afternoon came, and you rolled your eyes when hearing Draco Malfoy brag about whatever new expensive thing his father had bought him, and went to the courtyard to join the students who were allowed to go to the village. After giving your signed permission form to Filch, you saw Hermione and Ron, and looked for Harry, who usually wasn’t far away, and saw him talking to Professor McGonnagall. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but seeing Harry’s face, it couldn’t be something positive. You saw your Professor shaking her head, and after walking away a bit, going back to him and petting him on the shoulder in a compassionate gesture. You wanted to go and talk to him, feeling sad for him, but Professor McGonnagall gently touched your elbow.

“Let’s get going, Miss y/l/n.” 

You nodded, and turned back your head. Harry was still here, and your eyes met before he turned on his heels and went back inside the castle. Your friends actually waited for you, so it was easy to catch up with them, but as you approached Hogsmeade, you couldn’t help but think how Harry and how alone he must be feeling at this moment. Pondering whether you should go back to stay with him and if he wanted you to stay with him, you decided on the second option. Ignoring your friends’ confused questions and calls, you turned and ran back to the school, and, catching your breath, you went to look for the boy you had your heart. You started looking in the common room, but there was only the kind Neville. 

“Neville?” you asked. “Have you seen Harry?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I saw him minutes ago, he was going to the library.” 

“Thank you,” you smiled.

You almost ran to the library, and found him sitting alone, a fist holding his cheek. He saw you when you came closer to the table, still a bit breathless.

“y/n? You’re not in Hogsmeade?” he asked, confused.

“I was going, but…” you gulped and had a small smile. “I…I didn’t want you to be alone.” 

Harry looked at you, not speaking a word, and after a moment, his silence made you doubt if you made the good decision.

“I mean, hum…I’d understand if you wanted to be alone, though? I…I can leave.” 

Feeling like you were gonna die of embarrassment, you quickly turned around to leave but you heard a chair moving and, seconds after, a hand on your arm. 

“y/n, wait!”

You stopped your pace, and when you turned around to face Harry, his hand was still on your arm.

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to come back for me. I…Maybe we can go eat chocolate by the fireplace in the common room?” 

You smiled, and felt your heart beater faster than ever.

“I’d love that very much.” 

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Masterlist

[crooked-wasteland]

Helluva Boss and its Cancerous Structure: Skipping to the "Good Stuff"

Vivienne Madrano has the dreaded affliction of having too many characters, followed by too many ideas. And the logical narrative to link everything together to actually tell a story doesn't seem to be a high priority for her.

For starters, the main plot of the story is supposed to be the relationship between Stolas and Blitz, but every decision that has been made throughout the show has worked to decrease the interest in this plot and relationship. Let's just start at the beginning. The major interest was Blitz being an Imp while Stolas is a prince of the Ars Goetia.

The status discrepancy and how these two individuals came to be in contact was a long-standing source of intrigue that the show seemed very aware of. The first episode (actually the pilot) established a hostile relationship between the two, mainly on Blitz's side, as he was the one who obviously had the weaker position in the deal. If he refuses to sleep with Stolas, he loses the book. He loses the book. He loses his entire business. The pilot also estaished that the business was Blitz's chosen family and thus was an emotional point for his character.

Regardless of the problematic blackmail-ish pretense to the whole thing, it's a good launch pad. It would be interesting watching Stolas fall into true feelings for Blitz, or for Blitz to become aware of his own soft power within the dynamic and how much control he actually has over Stolas through his emotions. However, we never see Stolas fall in love. From LooLoo Land to Ozzie's, the relationship just is changed every time we see it. Even with the suggestions made in the bad trip sequence of Truth Seekers, we never have any actual understanding of how Blitz feels on the relationship. Is he afraid? Trapped? Does he ever realize his own strength in the dynamic? Is he resentful? It never actually settles in what the relationship actually is.

Instead, Madrano does what I think has to be the worst form of storytelling I have ever seen. Rather than watching the characters grow and become more complex, we are sent back in time to justify the relationship by contrivance. Somehow, being friends for a day over two decades prior is all the justification we need. It rewrites the earlier dynamic of Stolas using Blitz because he can to having it be that Blitz was Stolas' childhood crush. That this crush was so strong it persevered through deception, distance, and time for Stolas to immediately beg Blitz to have his way with him at his wedding anniversary party.

The complexity and intrigue on how this relationship was supposed to work was stripped of all depth and relevance. There is no journey for this relationship to take actually because they got along so well that one day, a quarter of a century ago, that their compatibility is all but assured to the viewers. There is nowhere for the relationship to actually go now, making it unnecessary to the plot while also being the primary focus of the plot.

It is a beyond fascinating faux pas that hasn't just derailed the main plot, but appears repeatedly as microcosms of everything wrong with the shows past, present, and future.

The upcoming episode has been rather highly anticipated on Twitter. However, there is an inevitable looming disappointment that hangs over the episode and thus the show at large. As it has yet to be released, this is solely speculation, but I am fairly confident in this assessment due to the trends thus far.

To be frank, this episode exists on the foundation of misunderstanding the narrative purpose of a character, namely Fizzarolli. Madrano suffers from the amateur affliction of over-creation mixed with under-exploration. While not every character needs an explicit purpose outside of expanding the world, a character to closely entwined with your main lead needs a very clear reason to being involved with the plot.

And that's where I feel this episode will crash and burn. There is no purpose to the existence of Fizzarolli. He did not need to exist for Blitz to have an unsuccessful performance career or his resentment to those who have success and fame. It adds nothing to the main character or their life.

Narratively speaking, it would make sense if Fizzarolli existed as a former or slighted love interest to Blitz who then can be used, not as a foil, but as a mirror for Blitz to be forced to contend. Because the point would then be to have Fizzarolli be the living embodiment of all of Blitz's past mistakes that he must reconcile before he and Stolas can be happy and grow their relationship.

Except, as previously mentioned, that is not a factor in the plot. The childhood friends trope between Blitz and Stolas makes this narrative unnecessary. Blitz and Stolas just are, and their conflicts are external threats (Octavia, Stella, Striker), not internal reflections of their worst tendencies. They are not at odds within themselves so much as they just seem to level up and change after every major emotional beat.

Less an MMO where you need to work for that next number through time and dedication to the world and character and more akin to those click bait ads where the most mundane change can completely alter their present self. It's unfulfilled.

Additionally, instead of focusing on the main cast, Madrano insists on reaching above her ability. To treat a minor side character as a main character is an event that is earned by first proving you understand your main characters, which has not been achieved. So, instead of experiencing the same story from the alternative perspective, it feels like a wholly new beginning unrelated to the previous concept. It feels unfinished on a narrative standpoint because the question remains, why is this story important to tell.

That's a very lean way of structuring any story, but lean is worlds better than what we are currently being fed. Bones and fat do not a hearty meal make. Learn to stand before we walk. Madrano hasn't learned quite how to crawl narratively speaking.

In Seeing Stars, the conflict between Stolas and Octavia is identical to Season 1's LooLoo Land. The one way it attempts to make up for the spiritual rerun is by trying to add a parallel secondary plot between Blitz and Loona. However, the problem between Stolas and Octavia is resolved with a simple "Whoops, I forgot" while Blitz and Loona never share a word about their problems. Rather, the episode justifies Loona's abuse of Blitz and misbehavior in general by basically saying "She's had a hard childhood". Showing a brief glimpse into said childhood for Blitz to feel guilty for attempting to set any kind of boundary and claim ownership of being the problem when, in reality he isn't the one in the wrong.

Loona is never given the opportunity to talk about herself either. Instead, she is the preaching mouthpiece for Madrano and Co to talk about how great these characters are without actually seeing any of them do those great things. Loona never speaks on herself and how insecure she feels or how she can't help but need to push Blitz's envelope constantly to feel any kind of security, waiting for him to abandon her like everyone else.

None of this is explored, instead implying that this understanding of the characters should be derived from engaging with their pasts rather than their present selves. We are not encouraged to want our characters to actively change, but to instead "remember the good times." We are not challenged to grow and adapt with age and experience, but instead should be allowed to remain the same and not be responsible for how our actions affect others.

The entire approach to character growth and complexity is antithetical to the mere definition of "Maturity".

[caeslxys]

I am SO fascinated to get your take on BH's reaction to Ludinus and Downfall.

*****SPOILERS FOR 102 BELOW*****

As someone who left Downfall with a very negative view of the gods, it's interesting to me that BHs (in particular Imogen) kept saying "but you're just like them" about Ludinus and then not realizing that she was saying that the gods are no better than Ludinus fucking Da'Leth. Yeah, Luda is a hyprocrite. Do you realize that the gods are no better? The GODS.

And BHs comparing themselves to the primes/betrayers as this "fucked-up family" completely ignores the power differential. "They're just little guys! We all make mistakes" but you're saying that about entities that can literally sling 9th levels every 6 seconds without using any resources.

Nothing that can feel and be motivated by loss, rage, fear, and revenge should have that much power. Respectfully.

Sorry this took me so long to answer! I’ve been letting my own thoughts simmer and rewatching the episode in pieces to grasp the Many Many different things that happened on my own because it was Quite A Lot and some of it (the delilah of it all, funnily enough) left me immediately with an overall sense of disappointment that I wanted to sift through before talking Thoughts so that I could determine analysis from bias lol. BUT. I DO HAVE THOUGHTS

Long answer under the read more, but tldr: Apart from Orym, Ashton, and Dorian (simultaneously the most and least surprising!) I don’t think we’ve gotten the full breadth of BH’s opinions at all. In part because this a topic of discussion that requires them actually, well, discussing it to form fully rounded opinions on but also, crucially, because they were expressing opinions and emotions in front of Ludinus. This is important, because Orym/Ashton/Dorian make the most sense to have no reason for holding their true thoughts back in front of either him or the party (obviously in Orym and Ashton’s case, but I’ll be honest in not considering what is now obvious—Dorian has no idea who this guy actually is! Of course he wasn’t opposed to raising his perspective!), whereas other characters—namely Imogen—have many more internal steps and hurdles to actually reaching a conclusion that must happen outside of Ludinus’ eye.

Alright. Long version.

I think it truly speaks to the characters that the ones who reacted the most immediately decisive were Orym—the one whose opinions wouldn’t have changed regardless of what was held within that orb (which. sigh)—Ashton—the punk, anti-authoritarian character who has had an established perspective of the gods and their power for quite some time, perspectives that were in many ways cemented in viewing this piece of history rather than dispelled—and Dorian—someone who, as mentioned earlier, has the least amount of context for who Ludinus is, but who also himself was raised in a comparatively high position of social power so as to understand exactly what Ludinus is saying about the gods’ misusing theirs.

And, of course, Imogen. I’ll admit: I was immediately shocked at her response, but in hindsight of course she responded the way she did. I have talked and gushed and wailed before at how deeply empathetic Imogen is, and how it is also her ultimate fatal flaw (demonstrated explicitly here), so of course her first thought was how she saw the feelings and motives behind the decisions made in downfall and not how it was also an extreme over-reach of power and influence. Of course she did. I think the only person she’s incapable of empathizing with is Delilah lmao.

And to that point: A lot of that seemed, on a rewatch and to me, posturing on her part. So much of Imogen is defined by her guilt and shame and self-loathing and its especially prevalent when she is playing leader—a role she is naturally very good at, but doubts constantly because she does not consider herself “good”. So, often, she does what she thinks others perceive as “good” and “right” and keeps her more complex thoughts to herself until she is in a safe space (often with Laudna), and projects who she thinks others need her to be in the moment.

Laudna, in the same vein, also shocked me that she didn’t push the breach of power here. But, again, she is also right next to Imogen in “bells hells characters most driven by/capable of empathy” (though hers is, unlike Imogen’s, often in conflict with her desires in really compelling ways) so on further reflection—and especially taking into consideration the massive amount of shame she is feeling from swordgate—of course she focused on the empathetic side of it all.

Ultimately we didn’t get much time at all for them to actually discuss and dissect their take-aways on all of downfall in a setting and context that would be free of bias and performance. If i’m honest, I think those conversations need to happen individually instead of in a group, though maybe Dorian’s inclusion and obvious clear decision on his stance being more in line with Ludinus’ may just be enough for Orym alone not to break the conversational thread again with his personal grief (and guilt, but that’s another post lol). I think their real opinions have yet to solidify even for themselves, and we’ll see them truly form in the coming episodes. The Delilah of it all notwithstanding.

Speaking of Orym’s refusal to think about anything—I think he and Imogen both are suffering from Predathos tunnel vision. Honestly I’d argue a good portion of fandom is as well. None of that conversation is ultimately about Predathos, it was about the gods and the role they play and the power they use or over-use or deserve. By focusing so intently on what we all already agree is the wrong and bad solution to this problem, we ignore the problem entirely. It’s one of my main issues with Orym’s stance this whole campaign. If we don’t ask what is to be done with the gods, and the campaign just wraps up with “we defeated the bad guys, yay!” well. What of the ruidusborn, who we know are treated unfairly and unkindly and who suffer through no fault of their own. What of the young vanguard members—the kids—who, also, are only guilty of caving to the idea of peace. What of Aeor, what of Ludinus—what of the cycle that birthed them both. To not engage with the questions being asked for hyperfixating on the Predathos of it all is to leave this campaign, in my opinion, on both a deeply unsatisfying but also deeply hopeless note. The cycle will continue. We may not see it—it may be another thousand, two thousand years before another Ludinus rises—but another Ludinus or Aeor or both will rise, because ultimately no change will have been implemented in the problems which resulted in them.

And—final note, promise—I was talking to a friend about this yesterday but when it comes down to acknowledging the societal implications of downfall, especially in Imogen’s case, I do think it’s going to have to be pointed out first. A lot of Bells Hells are characters who have suffered at the very hands they are trying to save, but also suffered in part and specifically due to a lack of access to knowledge about it all. It does not escape me that the very first scene of campaign three is Imogen attempting to gather knowledge on powers that have made her miserable for a decade and being unable to access them in a library due to her station. That is, to me, more and more becoming the underpinning theme of this campaign—especially as all Ludinus is doing in this moment with the Occultus Thalamus is displaying it; again, obviously Ludinus is wrong in his means (and arrogant in his assumptions that just because of his failures that no one else could find a solution) but this, specifically, the spreading of knowledge—that, I 100% find myself in agreeance with. So it’s not that they won’t understand what characters like Ashton and Dorian, both hyperaware of the implications of power here, are or will be saying. It’s that they literally do not know to think about it like that. Why would they. It has been intentionally kept from them.

Anyway I have no idea if that was uh. Sufficient Enough of an answer adksfjd at some point I just started yapping but! I’m intrigued, especially because of Dorian’s adamant belief, in what conclusions they’ll draw moving forward as the discussions truly begin! Hopefully! Hopefully they will discuss it!

[cookies-over-yonder]

"... In that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is."

The Close Family and Closure: An Analysis and Breakdown of Taylor's Issues in Hell or High Father

...and the way he addresses and, in Taylor fashion, downplays the problem, and denies its lack of solution.

(I have transcribed the majority of this scene, and below the cut is my line-by-line breakdown and analysis, as well as some other tid-bits.)

hello! ever since i got into dndads, taylor has been my favourite. i found his extreme escapism and dumb confidence fascinating, and as you may know, i love finding scenarios for him to break. it's, like, at least half of my fics at this point.

this episode is my favourite episode, it broke me, and it pieced me back together but Wrong in all the right ways.

this analysis is focusing on the taylor of it all. the motivation behind his words and the changes in his cadence and the denial that still, despite everything, refuses to fade.

i've never written an analysis post structured like this, so do let me know if you like it. i just... i really love taylor.

okay, let's go!

1. "Well...''

Nicky: … I didn't see a lot of Taylor's growing up and that was—that was fi—like we're cool now right, Taylor? Taylor: Fuck yeah dawg— Nicky: See?

to start off, taylor's instinctive answer is to agree with nicky. because well, yeah, they're chill now, that's true, so of course the first thing he does is agree. and i gotta say that i was expecting taylor to leave it at that, because he's not one to dig deeper when he doesn't need to, and even when he does.

Taylor: Well…

taylor says this immediately after his first answer and oh ny god i got SO excited. but this ain't about me. anyway. taylor finally admitting that they're actually not 100% cool is such a big fucking step argh i am so proud of him forever and also so sad for him forever...

Nicky: What? Look, I'm back now, and I'm super tight, and we hang out, and we can do samurai shit together, and we're fuckin'—we're tight as fuck.

this part makes me so sad because nicky is so ignorant to how his absence has affected taylor despite his frustrations at glenn for not being there. and also, this sort of reasoning would have worked on convincing taylor back in early season two. in fact, it did!

[Season 2 Episode 10: Dad Me To Hell]

taylor is completely satisfied with this reason because it feeds into his main character syndrome. his dad left to protect him. what better reason is there? and now he's back and there and able to do cool shit with him, so everything is perfect, right?

but the next thing taylor says is so fucking heartbreaking:

Taylor: If I'm gonna be honest, Dad, I've kinda been hoping and keeping an eye out for time travel magic so that we could go back in time, and you could be there for me.

the way he trails off as he says it, and he loses his confidence in his words... it shows an unfamiliar shyness. we've never seen taylor be this vulnerable before. and to think that he'd been holding out hope for time travel magic to fix his childhood? that perfectly aligns with the idea that taylor is so stuck in his anime escapist fantasy that he can't accept what's real. and magic is real, so therefore he must be able to fix his past, right? it's not impossible for there to be time travel (see. end of season 1 + see. attack on titanic.) but taylor doesn't realize that this is something that can't be fixed so easily, even if that magic were available. he doesn't believe that this can't be fixed. more on this later.

Nicky: [grunts and falls] Uh… um… I didn't know you felt that way. Taylor: Yeah, you know, it's just, when I was practicing my jutsus I could have used some pointers. Nicky: Yeah, but like— Taylor: As a result, I've developed a number of very bad habits that I'm told are very hard to break. And, you know, just watching YouTube videos is not the same as having a dad who can fight.

in the past, taylor has used anime to cope with his absent father, and he relied on the fictional characters to bring him the same comfort a father might bring (this was mentioned by freddie in one of the teen talks and while i've been relistening i've yet to find it. do forgive me as i am merely mortal) while this isn't directly referring to that, i still feel it's worth mentioning, as taylor is confronting his own unhealthy coping mechanism and acknowledging that no, youtube videos aren't a replacement for a dad. he couldn't fill the absence of a father with anything else in his life no matter how hard he tried.

also, taylor is smart. he knows that he has unhealthy coping mechanisms or "bad habits" that he can't break and he knows that they're caused by nicky's absence. i just wonder how long he's been stewing over that, you know?

as shown earlier, when taylor first met nicky and found out why he wasn't there, he accepted it immediately, knowing it was the coolest reason for a father to be absent and only fueled his protagonism.

but now, taylor's confronting his own issues surrounding nicky, and explicitly addressing them to nicky.

*wipes a tear*

i'm so proud of him.

Nicky: Wha—I mean, if it's training you want, we can train you, and like, you see your grandpa there— Taylor: [sighs] It's too late. I needed to start when I was three to five years old like true ninja warriors.

there is something so cutting about the way taylor says it's too late. he's talking about training to be a ninja warrior on the surface, yes, but that's not it.

it's too late. it's too late for nicky to witness his upbringing. it's too late for taylor to grow up with a loving father figure. it's too late.

and taylor knows that, and he's saying it, but he's still masking it with it being about training to become a ninja when in reality it's so much more.

this is just one example of the way he downplays the issue. he zeroes in on just one aspect of his life that nicky wasn't a part of, and speaks as if it's the main issue, when really it's only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

Nicky: Oh, well, I mean— Taylor: So I'm already trying to play catch-up a little bit, but you know, I guess it's water under the bridge. But you know, if there is time travel magic, then you know, maybe, or if you find it, you could maybe… pick me up on the way back… to the past, and you know maybe we could do childhood all over again.

taylor is playing catch-up with training, but he's also playing catch-up with having a father in his life.

and again, he downplays it, says it's water under the bridge, when it's so very clear how deeply this has been affecting him his entire life.

and to top it all off, he brings up time travel again. and the way he says this is so un-taylorlike it's jarring. the uncertainty of the maybes, the trailing off, the voice so quiet you almost can't hear it...

he thinks there's still a chance to redo it and fix things, but i feel that deep down he knows it's impossible, that it doesn't work like that, and yet he's still grasping at straws to try and make things better.

it's... it's really sad. i feel really sad for him.

and the way he says he wants to redo childhood. as opposed to only talking about training, here he actually says he wants to do childhood all over again, and it's so, so quiet. and taylor is never shy. it's so clear how badly he's hurting over this.

god. okay.

2. "I didn't even know where you were."

Glenn: So we're cool. Nicky: So, we're cool. Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicky: We're just three cool guys. Taylor: Well…

i love how taylor isn't backing down on the fact that nicky fucked him up. like the gates are open and they can't close back up that easily. he's not accepting them just being three cool guys.

Taylor: Well, I'm just saying—you know, I could have, y'know—not to put too fine a point on it, but Dad, I would have appreciated if, you know… I didn't even know where you were. I 23&me-d my ass, and they sent me a picture of fire, and the cops showed up! There was a white van parked outside of our house for three years!

again, i really notice the change in the way taylor speaks, he's more unsure, quieter, and uses more filler words (such as "y'know"), and it feels as if he feels bad about making nicky confront his faults as a father but he's pushing through it anyway, because he has to.

and i absolutely love the throwback to episode ONE with the 23&me test! like this had been brewing from the start! i just think it's fantastic for it all to build up to this. like yeah. taylor didn't know WHO nicky was or WHERE nicky was and trying to figure it out only led to more danger for him.

Nicky: [gets on one knee and puts his hand on Taylor's shoulder] I guess I never got to properly apologize to you, did I?

Taylor: Well, an apology won't really turn back time, and I don't know how I feel—I would rather have the time travel magic.

this is so cutting. like, yeah, an apology won't cut it, and taylor immediately circles back to time travel magic, as if it could fix what's broken when it really, really can't.

i also find the trend of time when it comes to the close boys to be very fascinating. glenn got locked up in time prison, nicky's childhood was split into two timelines, and taylor thinks time travel can fix his broken relationship with his father?

god damn.

Nicky: Well, I didn't even get to explain—I was in Hell. I was worried that these fuckers [pointing at the other kiddads]— Taylor: Yeah, those fuckers. Nicky: —would have chased after me if I'd gotten out of hell. Taylor: So you're telling me that these fuckers kept you away from me all these years? Nicky: Yeah, you know what? It was these motherfuckers! They are the reason I didn't get to spend time with you because they betrayed me! Taylor: That makes sense; I just saw the memory! Yeah, yeah!

thinking about how taylor immediately agrees with nicky in blaming the others for his absence, because, well, yeah, shit's complicated and they are definitely part of the reason, but the fact that taylor is so on board of whole heartedly blaming them after chewing into his dad about not being there is just so sad. like yeah, of course he doesn't want to be upset at nicky. and it hurts so much that he is.

god.

oh my god.

okay, now, i didn't transcribe the entirety of taylor's memory, i actually summarized it and quoted some key aspects of it, so here:

Taylor's first belt ceremony. He's performing, and he finishes, and he bows, and he looks up. His mom is there. He's sniffling a bit and Cass asks him if he's okay and comments on how he moved all the way up to green belt, and he says he knows. He looks over to the kid who was supposed to get green belt but didn't because of him. The kid is whining, and then his dad comes in and gives him a big hug and—

"It's okay son, I saw how hard you worked, and in my eyes, you're a black belt. Come on, let's get ice cream."

The kid says thanks and they hug and then they leave and Taylor watches them leaving through the window and sees the child and father and mother smiling together. Taylor looks down at and then throws away his green belt.

"I think I'm done with karate."

Taylor gets kicked out.

that line that the father said to his child really hit me, because taylor never heard nicky say that to him. ever. and that was all that he wanted, really. like, "i saw how hard you worked," as in, i was there, watching you, practicing with you, supporting you, i saw you, i see you, i'm here, i'm here with you. and "in my eyes, you're a black belt," in my eyes, you've worked so hard, in my eyes, you deserve more than what you got, in my eyes, you're strong, in my eyes, you're capable.

things nicky never saw, and things nicky never told him.

and then, well, taylor quits.

a memory defining taylor's relationship with nicky. a memory where he wasn't there. a memory where he didn't see taylor's growth. a memory where taylor gave up on an ambition. a memory of absence.

anyways.

Nicky: I'm really sorry— Taylor: I'm kind of sensing a pattern here to be honest. Nicky: Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe the things that your granddad did, I do now. I'm thinking maybe I fucked up in the exact same way… Taylor: [lays a hand on Nicky] I think you fucked up in the same way too. Nicky: Okay. Well that's good. That's good for us.

god. oh my god. the fuckign pattern. i'm so sorry this part makes me lose my coherency all i can think of is how sad it makes me idk idk guys im sorry. you get it. taylor saying yeah you fucked up in the same way and nicky learning that and accepting it. oh my fucking god. like. i dont know theres something about the acceptance of it that really gets me. at the start of the conversation nicky denied it, and here he is, after seeing a memory of taylor doing something he wasn't there for, and now he's like yeah, yeah. i did fuck up royally.

3. "...there is no fixing this."

Glenn: What if we started over? What if we tried to kinda give it a little bit of a reset, and try and make some new memories together, as this sort of team of three? What do you think about that? Is it stupid? I dunno.

Nicky: What kinda memories are you talking about?

Glenn: Well I was thinking we all go to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and start everything off on the right foot! It's been so long since I've been to Disneyland, and, I dunno, let me show you all the secrets. Let me show you all the hidden Mickeys. I never got to show Taylor how to get over nine-hundred-thousand points on the Buzz Lightyear ride. And you! Nick, I never showed you the secret entrance into Club 33 that only I know about, and it requires you to go through the sewers a little bit.

I mean, what do you say? Maybe we can do something about this whole fucked up Close family. Maybe we could bring it on back a little bit. What do you guys think?

Nicky: Yeah, sure, yeah I mean, I like Disneyland as much as the next guy. What do you think Taylor?

Taylor: What's Disneyland? I don't understand, what's Disneyland?

now listen, i know that taylor not knowing what disneyland is was just because of the whole doodlerized world thing, but i feel like it also really highlights the disconnect here. like, glenn wasn't around much in nick's life but they knew each other and yes glenn went to disneyland without nick a lot and yes nick liked universal better and if i got into their relationship it would take far too long and i don't feel particularly equipped to tackle that which is why i'm focusing on taylor, but i think that taylor asking what disneyland is highlights the disconnect between him and nicky. nicky and glenn are talking about something that taylor is completely lost on, and to me it really shows the disconnect between all of them. first off, nicky likes universal studios better than disney, second of all, taylor doesn't even know what disneyland is. they grew up in different realms, and they grew up around different people, and nicky was never there, which means there's so much taylor knows that nicky doesn't, and so much nicky knows that taylor doesn't and so much of that knowledge and those experiences can never or will never be shared.

Nicky: Oh yeah, good point, I guess it's on a previously Doodlerized world now with a bunch of really fucked up shit in it.

Glenn: I'm just saying that like—give me a chance. Give me a chance to try and make up for all the—well—you know what? No, no, no, no, no, I can't make up for any of that stuff.

it's true. this solution is like putting icing on top of an overdone cupcake. temporarily sweet but it's still bitter and burnt. (i'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, i don't bake.) but like when you burn something you can't just. un-burn it. sure you can put icing and sprinkles and all the fun stuff and maybe you can wash out the taste but that doesn't change the state of what's underneath.

that's their relationship to me.

Anthony: As you're saying this, without even wanting it to, tears are rolling down your cheeks, and in that moment, you, and Taylor, and Nick all realize that there is no fixing this. That this is as good as it's going to get. That you are all stuck with each other in the forms that you are now. You see daddy magic—that same daddy magic that exited Ron and Terry's body, emanate from their bodies like a fine mist, coalesce into the air, and then zip into the jar and fill it up a little bit more because that's what your relationship is.

ah yes, finally, we reach the end.

this is what their relationship is. it's comprised of missing connections and missed experiences and misplaced memories and absences and longing and searching and finding one another only for it to be too late. it is comprised of absence as opposed to love or hate or anything in between. the nothingness that is absence is their relationship

how depressing.

if i'm honest, i think nicky still has a chance. obviously he can't fix anything with taylor, but i really do hope that he tries to be proactive in taking part in taylor's life from here on out, that is, if taylor even survives this next episode, oooh scary.... hahaha anyways.

i hope everyone enjoyed this essay! i started writing it the day the episode came out but schoolwork kinda took over me.

i wanted to get it out before this episode's teen talk so that's why i finished it tonight, but i may reblog with more thoughts, who knows! we'll see! :3c

i do also encourage you guys to check out my art for this episode specifically inspired by that last anthony quote there.

and of course my thoughts are not the objective truth, i am a mere university student, ignoring my school essays to write one for tumblr <3

bye-bye! <3 :3c

[aphroditesmoon]

hello love! first of all, don't forget to take care of yourself and take your time! good luck! secondly, if you're not too busy, can you please write some hcs about xavier x reader where they are newlyweds? i can't help but think this concept is so cute.. and we all need some fluff, i guess. i absolutely can see them being still young and not planning to start a real family yet but they've got married a month or 2 ago bc why not, we want to spend eternity together anyway. and they're sooo excited about it? like wow we're actually married?? Mr. and Mrs. Thorpe?? ik modern married life (esp newlyweds) may be not so different from just relationship but it feels much more domestic for me? more warm and even loving? you can disagree with me and it's absolutely ok! i love your headcanons so much ahh it hurts! they're absolutely fascinating! thank you for everything you do! and thank u in advance! good luck! take care!

newlyweds xavier thorpe x reader hcs

a/n: I love this idea! and thank you for your kind kind words<3

warnings: reader is part fae, absent parent, slight nsfw

°°°

- it was instant connection with you and xavier, since he laid eyes on you, your perfume clouds his sense and your beauty haunts his dreams and canvases.

- but the rush of the relationship had scared you at first.

- you two ended up in a big argument a few months in your relationships where you admit to him you worries about moving too fast etc and being scared you'd ruin it or he'd change his mind about you.

- since then, he decided to make extra efforts in reassuring you, and you two start spending many times together doing bonding activities and getting to know eachother's boundaries.

- as much as he seems confident in your relationship, he's deeply insecure about you finding a true mate that's not him.

- until one day, he notices you doing a specific courting ritual for him.

- it was then he realized that you were doing it to mate him in the faerie tradition, showing how serious you were about him.

- 4 months into the relationship, he's already bought you a ring, you two were basically already a married couple, every event he wasn't allowed to be around you in, his eyes will wander for yours, every moment you spend together are either deeply affectionate or in peaceful comfortable silence.

- it was during the holidays, his father was barely home, when he was, xavier tried bringing you up, telling him how he thinks you're the one.

- the older man only waved him off, reusing the lines "if that's what you want.", frustrating him.

- that night, without you warming his bed or holding him through his sleep, he realizes how truly lonely he feels. and the only cure for the loneliness was you.

- he suprised you at you family's house, your mother was absolutely whipped by Xavier.

- already referring him as 'my son'.

- seeing how easy he was accepted into the tight knit family, he takes the risks and proposes to you during dinner.

- you were in awe, tears formed in your eyes and you almost forgot there were other people in room.

- when you only stared at the diamond ring in shock, your sister had answered for you screaming "if you don't want him I do!" earnings a shushing from your mother.

-you jumped off your seat and basically leaped on him, crying yes repeatedly, and your mother cried that night, reminiscing her old love with your dead father, she was glad you had found the mate you deserved.

- he had brought a house near your's, using his trust fund (he's a nepo baby sorry y'all).

- when his father found out he was getting married, he guilt tripped xavier into agreeing to work under him with his company.

- Xavier agrees, telling himself that he'd work his way up to independence sooner or later, but for now he didn't want to promise you an unsure future.

- so you marry 6 months after graduating Nevermore, thankfully already now having a house and stable job.

- you work in a troubled children school as a counselor a few months in your marriage.

- and as much as you both learned to enjoy your jobs, he was upset that you two hadn't had a honeymoon yet, he secretly plans a vacation to bora bora while you're blissfully unaware.

- even if you two were busy with work, you'll always make time for eachother, always having dinner every night together unless he has a late shift (which he'd tell you first).

- sunday movie nights binge watching the hobbit and doing laundry together, an activity you both despise but work together to finish.

- when your 1 year anniversary finally arrives, he suprised you by coming home early and setting up a nice romantic chinese takeaway date, it may sounds cheap to other, but he knows your love for chinese fried rice runs deep.

- you pointed ears twitch at the sight of a small box he gifts you, and you couldn't he happier to find two plane tickets to bora bora in it.

- you two take a month off and spend it swimming in oceans and trying out new food.

- while you busy yourselves admiring the culture, he impatiently waits for night to come so he could admire you in private.

- it wasn't unusual for newlyweds to go at it like rabbits.

- but even after a whole year of being together, his desire for you was never sated.

- cooking dinner together too often ends up with you bent on the kitchen counter and moans and whimpers filling the kitchen while the spaghetti overcooks.

- it was not rare for movie nights to be spent with him in between your thighs instead of actually watching the lord of the rings.

- you also start showering together once you two got married, and on days one of you were too tired, you two would lay in a tub together while slowly washing eachother's hair and body. it was an intimate act both of you could appreciate without it having to be anything sexual.

- baby talks only comes in years later in the marriage, both of you settling with a fat tabby cat, not ready for an actual child.

- you grumpy orange cat was the light of your lives despite it's constant habit of breaking Xavier's stuff and accidentally spilling his art paints ( Mr fluffykins is no longer allowed in his art shed btw)

- you almost feel stupid for doubting your relationship a while ago, for now, you can't even begin to imagine ever loving anyone else.

[starryalpacasstuff]

Dhamma in The Sign

Hearing about Dhamma, my mind immediately went to Dharma, a hindi word often used in tandem with Karma, and a quick google search confirmed that yes, Dhamma is simply the Prakrit (a group of ancient languages) variant of the word Dharma.

It's hard to explain what dharma/dhamma is is english, but I'll do my best. Dhamma is said to mean 'to uphold'. And, in some way, this is true. Dharma revolves around duty, order, and the law of nature. Everyone is born with their own dharma, and must carry it out.

One of the best ways to explain the concept of dharma is the story behind the Bhagvad Gita. I'll do my best to summarize it in a way that is comprehendable to people who've never heard of it.

We begin at the very beginning of a battle, with Arjuna, a great warrior prince. His charioteer is Krishna, an avatar (form on Earth) of the god Vishnu, one of the big 3 gods in Hinduism. Arjuna surveys the battlefield, and sees his uncles and cousins on the opposing side, realizing that he will have to fight against family, and the insurmountable bloodshed that would follow. He fears that waging this war will be adharmic (the opposite of dharma). Arjuna hesitates. He tells Krishna if his worries, who then begins to lecture Arjuna. This lecture is now known as the Bhagvad Gita. Grossly oversimplified, the crux of it is that fighting in this battle is a part of Arjuna's dharma. He is a warrior, and a prince, and this battle is necessary for him and his brothers to regain their kingdom. Fleeing from the battlefield, as Arjuna thought of doing, is what would be considered adharmic.

This is, imo, the best way I can explain the concept of dharma. It heavily emphasizes the concept of the duty that everyone is born with, and must carry out. Obviously, our dharma won't be fighting in a war, but everyone has their own dharma to carry out. Dharma and karma together shape our lives.

I'm hoping we'll learn more about Phaya and Tharn's dharma in future episodes, becauseit would be truly fascinating. Here, the monk (forgive me, I don't remember his name) mentions how dharma helps us distinguish right and wrong; following our duty is right, deviating is wrong. I suspect that Phaya and Tharn deviated from their respective dharmas in their previous lives, Tharn in particular.

Finally, I am by no means an expert on these things. I've offered a rudimentary explanation, but I honestly have no idea how much of this actually makes sense, so I'm tagging @waitmyturtles in case she'd like to add something here. Turtles, I know you're not watching The Sign, but you have been interacting with a few posts about it, so forgive me for asking for a bit of help here.

Side note: Dharma is pronounced as dha-rm, just like Karma is pronounced as ka-rm, NOT kaar-maa. The 'a' makes an 'uh' sound, not aa. Similarly, Dhamma is pronounced as dhamm. And, in The Sign, Karma is said as Kamma, which has essentially the same relationship to Karma as Dhamma does to Dharma.

[avatar-of-the-scribe]

Hello! Can i request something where gabriel from ultrakill has found himself falling for a machine that loves to make art of any kind?

Anon you are spectacularly in lucky because recently (as in, a few hours ago) saw this Tumblr post that gives an idea of V1 being programmed with an understanding and appreciation for Music. That being said? I am taking this person's ideas and sprinting away with them (dear OP of that post: if you see this- I love you and you are oh so smart and inspiring)

That being said- let's get into it :D! Heads up in the beginning it talks about V1 as well, also using it/it's and they/them pronouns for Reader because they are depicted as a robot.

Gabriel x Artist Machine! Reader

Learning Something New

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Machines were cold, unfeeling robots. Their purpose is to destroy.

That's what The Angel Gabriel had initially thought as it had learned of one- V1. And subsequently it had originally appeared this was true. The first Machine he encountered seemed Deadset on destruction- But then observing it, He had made a discovery... In the way V1 Seemed drawn towards the Terminals and their off tune, Drawn towards his own Organ playing- in the way the Machine seemed to play unknown music from it's metallic hull, music Gabriel learned it was composting itself based on it's surrounding. Soon, The angel found himself with a new Predicament- a new thought to plague his full mind. It also learned it possessed curiosity, in the way it observed its surroundings, in the way it would seem out and look over points of interest.

Could Machines care for- And appreciate things like art? Did they know to enjoy? Did they have an understanding of emotions and feel them in some way, even if different than humanity once did?

He tried to dismiss it. Perhaps V1 was simply an anomaly of its own kind. It was apparently the first of it's model- perhaps it was broken, acting outside of what code would allow. As he wandered through the levels of Limbo, drenched in the blood of a recently slain council- he was trying to clear his head... And yet something caught his attention in what should be a destroyed, abandoned layer. He could hear... Music. Music being played from a worn down speaker.

'How Ironic.' He thought to himself. 'First the Infernal Machine investigates these things, and now I've fallen to as well.' Yet such a thought didn't stop him from locating the source of the sound, feet carrying him towards its source.. Turning a corner he was quick to discover a Machine in Similar make to V1, wings folded back and hull gleaming- yet it's hand was Stained Red. 'Blood' he remarked grimly in his own mind. His hands twitched, intending to draw upon Justice and Splendor... Intending to cease this Machines functions. Yet he didn't- merely observed as it crouched down and dragged it's fingers through the pooled blood of the filth and the reached up to the wall it was standing by, tracing the hand over the surface in patterns. The realization came swiftly after... This machine was drawing using the blood it found as paint.

Time stretched on as the once proud Judge of Hell watched this new Infernal device depict a scene with its found materials, listening to the song it seemed to play as their design took shape, something within its mechanical filings of 'memory' given form. The Scene of a Garden Sketched out in blood- it would have made him laugh if he weren't fascinated by the fact they were throwing him for a loop. One Machine liking Art was an Oddity... Two was a Realization. A Realization that what he had been told was another blatant lie crafted by those who used to be above him to control his actions.

Gabriel found himself walking away, but thoughts of the Painter Machine lingered, gracing his thoughts each layer he passed through with something drawn in blood as if it were ink. Scrawlings on walls, floors- even one on a ceiling which truthfully just Impressed him. Treading along he found the new Machine once more drawing on a wall and regarded it almost fondly, stepping a bit closer to see what it was drawing... this time- a step too close, a small stone sent across the ground by his foot. Within an Instant the mechanical head had swiveled 180° to stare at him and his intrusion upon their time, the typical music it would play coming to an abrupt halt. The head stretched out a bit towards him as if studying him. Gabriel found himself frozen in place, thoughts swapping between backing off quickly and drawing his blades to defend himself. Neither action was he able to do before it had approached him.

It seemed to study him and his form, stretching its neck at odd angles that had it been living it would have been very, very uncomfortable. Could he Strike? Yeah. But instead he found himself observing it back- internally chuckling at its height.. do they make these machines short on purpose? His laughter froze as it reached out to him, assuming it was meant to be a blow... But instead Gabriel watched as its hand covered in slick blood began to draw patterns on his white and gold armor as they picked back up playing the same music as it had been moments before, seemingly pleased with having a new surface to draw on. Glancing up at the wall it had been drawing earlier, he realized... It was drawing him. Seems machines can indeed feel curiosity as apparently- it went both ways.

Eventually he was seated on the ground so it could reach better, observing it- as it observed its new canvas in turn. Gabriel made a decision as his arm was lifted so the swirling pattern of blood could be drawn on the Armor's side- perhaps it's time he chose to learn more about the Machines inhabiting Hell- perhaps get answers to the rest of his Questions about them; Starting with this one.

He likes this one.

[puckish-rogue]

I will forever be endlessly fascinated by the way Julius decides to pin everything that happened by the end of the first game entirely on the Boss. Like ignoring the various plot points that were more or less dropped in the sequel, it's kind of amazing how the man seemingly refused to take any accountability for what the Saints had started to turn into during their first iteration. For a man who was the founder and leader of the gang it sure seems like the kid he saved on the street was the real MASTERMIND behind everything.

To paraphrase a post I read that led me to think about this in the first place; people have a tendency to take what Julius said at face value. They just willingly accept the idea that the Boss was just "always like that" and Julius was not only justified in putting them into a coma, but able to see their true colors. But I highly doubt that. I mean, if you pay close enough attention to the first game, there's plenty of material that can lead you to believe that whatever "good intentions" he may have had in forming the Saints to being with was misguided at best and self-serving at worst.

Whatever "valid" reasons he may have had in dropping his flags with the VK's means jack shit as soon as you realize two things during a mission with his former friend/former leader of the VK's Ben King; the first is that Julius lies to everyone's face about coming from the Row, as he originally hailed from the neighborhood of Sunnyvale. The second is that the speech he gives towards the Saints is a direct copy of one Ben had given. Julius wants the same kind of power his best friend had. He wants the recognition, the respect, and everything that comes with running the biggest and baddest gang in the city.

With my specific portrayal of the Boss I've always said that before joining the Saints there was just something fundamentally wrong with him. Something that had been brewing for years and was finally able to be released by the time he wound up in the gang, acting as a sort of catalyst. Does this mean Julius was right all along? Maybe to an extent. But in no way can I say he was justified entirely. Because for a man who seemingly regrets the way things turned out, he sure as hell seemed pretty fine with everything the gang had done prior to his arrest. I mean shit, even the death of one of his lieutenants was met with a "she knew the risks of this life".

And it's not only that, but I can only imagine that the fallout from disbanding the Saints was pretty fucking bad. People getting arrested, murdered, and who the hell knows what else. Not to mention the large power vacuum that was ultimately filled up by three new gangs during those five years. Everything had basically gone to shit just so Julius could save his own ass.

Which brings me back to the Boss. Or I suppose Django to be specific. Make no mistake, I don't excuse anything he or the gang does. For all the ways in which I make him likeable there is no changing the fact that he is a villain protagonist through and through. But that's not going to prevent me from talking about frankly ridiculous it is that Julius could have the audacity to blame everything on him. That he could so easily try and assassinate his golden boy via explosives all because he saw him as both an ultimate evil and expendable.

I'm sure the man's had moments where he questions what he's done. Where he wonders if he made the right choice. And I know for sure that at least in my interpretation of the series and what I consider canon on here, Julius will convince himself time and time again that he was correct. That it had to be done. That the kid needed to go. It's fine. He's fine. It's all over now. There will come a day where the ghosts of his past will stop haunting him, and he can finally get that peaceful night of sleep he's desired for so long now.

Unfortunately for him some spirits are just that restless.

[cheeekycharchar]

Temptation is the Name of the Game

"I am good. And you, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice."

Crowley has always given Aziraphale a choice. He's never forced him into anything he didn't want to do. He never assumed the outcome would be in his favor- just hoped. He tempts him and if the Angel agrees, then they'll continue their little song and dance together. But if he refuses, he leaves it be. Maybe he'll try again later. There's always been a later. Always another chance. After all, they have all the time in the world. Or so he thought.

Think back to their random S1E3 meeting in Rome, and how Crowley looked so incredulous when Aziraphale tries to tempt him into trying oysters and Aziraphale flirtatiously acknowledges their lil push and pull game of temptations through the years.

"No-- that's your job, isn't it?" The wily demon tempts him, gives him a choice and more often than not, he gives in. But it's always been his choice.

We see Aziraphale truly give into his first true temptation back during the Job flashback in S2E2. Crowley tempts him with wine. Aziraphale refuses. Crowley doesn't push it. So, trying again, he gives him another choice.

"Are you trying to tempt me?" "Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you?" And Aziraphale gives into the temptation (and to the point of full on gluttony- OMG THE WHOLE OX, AZI!? lol) It's the first time Crowley realizes that even Angels can give into demonic temptations. After all, his whole purpose as a Demon on Earth is to tempt humans. Humans are human because they get to make the choice between all the good and evil in the world as was pointed out in S2E3 in the Scottish minisode.

I feel like one of the main reasons Crowley instantly fell head over heals obsessed with Aziraphale at the wall of Eden was that when Aziraphale tells him he made the choice to give up his flaming sword to humanity, Crowley realized how different this particular Angel was compared to all the others in Heaven.

Because normally, Angels don't get a choice.

They follow orders. They fall in line. They listen. They don't ask. Their autonomy is locked into a heavenly order that they must obey. And if you go against any of that, then you fall. You're damned. You become a Demon. Like him. Unforgiveable. But here, an Angel- that if given the choice between following direct orders from Heaven or making his own choice to do something that he felt was right at the time and getting away with it; as he still stands on the walls of Eden with his pure white wings intact afterwards- then maybe this Angel is truly something special. Aziraphale piques Crowley's curiosity. He fascinates him. He surprises him. He keeps him guessing. And he loves that. Aziraphale to Crowley is just one big unanswered question and Crowley spends an eternity trying to figure him out. So he keeps asking him questions to understand him. To make sense of how someone so pure of heart could disobey and still be holy. (aka my TLDR; mini post)

In S1E6, right before they dine at the Ritz in the finale, they have a cute little inside joke moment on the bench.

"Let me… tempt you to a spot of lunch?" "Temptation accomplished!" It's like an unspoken lil game between the two of them at that point. Aziraphale knows that Crowley will always ask him if he wants to do something that might be against his natural instincts of being "the good one". But he also knows that he'll usually give in- especially if it's to spend more time with Crowley. After all, it's what Crowley does best (or worst. depending on who's perspective)- asking damn fool questions. What is a temptation if not a question proposed in the form of giving someone a desirable choice?

"You and me, what do you say?" He bares his heart and soul and gives him one last choice to make. The ultimate temptation. Give up this idea of going back to Heaven and stay with me as an "us".

"Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever."

"No… no I don't suppose it does.."

It's here that Crowley knew that their time was up- that he wouldn't be able to keep their lil game of temptations going any longer. What was once forever has turned into the final moments of the sand falling through the hour glass.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. It's too late for that now, isn't it? It's always too late.." An endless void of eternity finally shines its light at the end of the tunnel. With each passing world-ending crisis, he can vividly see that there won't be another six thousand years to keep nudging the choice under Aziraphale's nose until he finally decides to give into temptation and choose to be with him. So, out of desperation, Crowley went all in and took Aziraphale's choice away from him in hopes of speeding things up before the hourglass empties completely. But as we all know..

"You go to fast for me, Crowley.." Crowley has always been on a different speed than Aziraphale. Always one step ahead of him.

They kiss and… Aziraphale breaks all our hearts by immediately forgiving him.

"I forgive you." Forgiving him for ending their centuries old game. Forgiving him for taking that choice away from him- even if he would have said yes, it was still his choice to make. Crowley made the wrong decision to kiss him in that particular moment and he knew it- they both did. (side note: I'm not taking sides or putting blame on either one here for this "breakup". They both had their "wrongs" here.. regardless, I loved the angst and that kiss either way ^-~) But to receive that instant forgiveness from the most important being in his world was too much. So instead of pushing it further, he leaves the bookshop in devastating disappointment. And yet.. he still doesn't go far. He waits. Just like he always has been. Waiting for Aziraphale. Waiting for him to catch up.

Crowley silently standing at "their" car across the street is his true final temptation and giving back the choice to his Angel. But this time without words. Without action. He leaves an opening for Aziraphale to choose to be with him one last time. Its the final move in their long game of temptation and Crowley still holds onto hope.

So there he stands. Watches as Aziraphale looks at him through the window from the bookshop in trepidation.

But ultimately, Aziraphale just gives him that one final sideways glance before choosing to step into the elevator and leaves him for Heaven (more on his reasoning for that choice in my other post). Their game is over. No more temptations. No more time. Each set out on their new paths. Apart.. With no apparent winner or loser... :(

I know.. I know.. I'm overanalyzing again. And I'm sure others have pointed this out in every way possible but I just can't stop thinking about it and sometimes I have to write it out in my own words to wrap my head around it all ^-^ ..cause I'm still hurtin'.. *cries* T_T I need to go read some South Downs cottage fanfics to heal until S3....

[matthiastalksalot]

what is being aromantic? what is being asexual?

an anecdotal explanation about what being aroace means to me. part 2. technically. both can be standalone. but you should read part one because i enjoy being a chatterbox.

this is not proofread.

so. i finally figure out that i am asexual. yipeee! once the sex aspect is out of the way, i can finally persue relationships without any expectations of sex, right? wrong.

i have a long and not too complicated dating history, featuring many e-relationships and two week infatuations.

going back to the early days of fifth grade. i attended a catholic school, and everyone was starting to reach the age where crushes are a new and fascinating occurrence. of course, i don’t know how many ten year olds had true crushes, but they CERTAINLY said they did.

and so, naturally, i needed one too. i picked a boy in my class, joesph, and told my classmates when i was asked. i did not know him well, and he knew i had this “crush” on him, but he didn’t like me and i never actually asked him out, so that was that.

i got my first boyfriend the summer before 7th grade. we attended a jewish sleep away camp, and were part of the same group for leading our unit’s shabbat service. we had the same hairstyle, the only difference being that the top of his hair was dyed red, the top of mine was dyed blue.

this was a preppy camp. we stood out, and thus our relationship was born. a girl approached me and asked if i would date “brendan”. i did not know who brendan was, we met two days before. she described him as “the boy with the red hair”.

it was middle school, and so i said yes. a day later, he asked me out. we dated for that summer until the next one.

the relationship was incredibly 7th grade of us. we hugged, had a pre-planned “kiss” under the fireworks on the last night of the camp session. it was gross, but short. i could now say i had had my first kiss.

he broke up with me due to bullying the next summer, but then after two days of drama, we started dating again. we broke up for good around december or january of 8th grade, over text. he wasn’t going to camp next summer, so we would not see each other again without planning it.

during our first break-up, i was upset, but mostly because i was insulted by the reason behind it. i did not have any strong feeling about break up #2.

i had more relationships between the end of 8th grade and my senior year of high school, but that would be the fastest way to send you all to sleep.

and so. i take you to my two most recent relationships. May 2022 - August 2022, and April 2023 - May 2023

the first one was a girl from a community theater show i was doing. she was snow white, and i was her prince. we became fast friends, and ended up dating. we were together for months, talked daily. we hugged, and sat in bed, holding each other while watching movies. we did not kiss. we did not even attempt to initiate anything more than hand holding.

she broke up with me in august. i was upset at the prospect of us not being together, but the only thing i remember thinking was “there is nothing we did that we cannot do as friends”. of course, it is difficult to rebound from dating, especially long distance as we were. we ended on good terms, but no longer speak to each other.

after her was my ex from the last post. we began dating after months of infatuation. he broke up with a girl for me, i magically made the “crush” that i thought i had on my best friend vanish the second i realized that he may actually show any form of interest in me.

eventually, that too ended. i enjoyed the hugging, cuddling, and closeness. i hated kissing, and the expectations of what i was supposed to be feeling within the relationship.

i did not immediately begin identifying as aromatic, but this is when i first began to entertain the idea.

life went on.

i started college, and met many amazing friends. as is usual for first semester freshman year, people began to get in relationships, and the whole question of “should i try for one?” comes up.

i decided against it, as none of my friends were romantic candidates for me. i know, i know. it’s weird to think of people that way. however, that’s how almost every other relationship i’ve had started.

we became fast friends, and happened to have compatible genders/sexualities to date. and so we did.

it started to dawn on me: what was the difference between my romantic partners and my close friends? the two largest factors are the duration of time we were close, and the amount of physical contact we had with each other.

in my prior romantic relationships, we became close quickly, or became much closer as we started to enter the “talking stage”. the longest i’ve known someone before getting into a relationship with them was a year and a half, and we were much more distant and did not hang out too often before the dating part.

as for physical intimacy: we started hugging/holding hands/being comfortable with each other before dating, but used it as a sign that we should start a relationship?

i suppose that is where i stand right now.

i am unsure of what the difference in my current best friends are, and what my relationships used to be. i am very physically affectionate, and i enjoy it. i also became close to people fast, thanks to meeting them at college. the biggest change? my two best friends are a lesbian and an arospec who is also out of my age range, dating wise.

there is no room for romantic interpretation.

once none of my friends could be potential partners, it felt like a relief. i don’t have to figure out if they like me or not, and if i “like” them back. we can just be friends.

i don’t want people to have crushes on me. all of mine were deliberately chosen, and that is not the way i feel “romance” should be.

looking back, i have lost many good friendships to the pitfall that is dating. and why? i never have found anything more fulfilling than my close platonic friendships. romantic relationships were always just adding a degree of exclusivity i never could live up to, since i cared for my closest friend and partners in the exact same way.

what is romance? i truly do not know.

however, i do know some things:

i love my friends

i enjoy spending time with my friends

i do not need exclusivity to be valued

not attempting to date has led to my platonic relationships being more fulfilling and wonderful than they were when i constantly had to compare them with what the “line” between romance and friendship was.

of course, i don’t speak for everyone. you may relate to my experience, and be alloromantic. you may understand me, but think this is some sort of polyamorous “i’m in love will all my friends but am in denial because i know they won’t like me back.”

it doesn’t matter, because i know who i am. despite having a dating history, i identify with the label that allows me to describe myself as clearly as possible.

this post is getting long, i’m sure i’ll be back shortly!

all the best,

mattisaroace

[mrhyde-mrseek]

(ED MENTION!)

Been rewatching Scooby Doo Mystery Inc. and hyperfixating on small town gothic mystery aesthetics, so here’s my version of the gang if I were to write my own adaptation:

Fred

19, engineering major

6’2”

Autistic

His special interest is traps

Asexual and biromantic, he/him

In a pre-established relationship with Daphne, they’re a ride-or-die couple and can sometimes be sappy to the point that they gross the others out

The heart of the group, brought everyone together, is usually the one to cool down arguments

Decent at cooking but REALLY good at baking

Gets ascots from Daphne every year for his birthday

Knew Velma a little in high school, mainly from physics and math but never got to actually know her until college

Got the Mystery Machine from a sketchy car dealer when he turned 16 and loves the old rust bucket to death

Velma:

18, forensics science major, minor in history

4’11”

Also autistic, self-diagnosed because it’s really hard to get a diagnosis

Lesbian and genderqueer, she/they

Had a crush on Daphne a few years ago, but when Daphne and Fred got together she forced herself to ignore it until it eventually went away

LOVES true crime podcasts, kinda wants to start their own one day

Super blunt and sarcastic, can sometimes come off as rude to the people who don’t know them that well

Struggled with an eating disorder for a while, Shaggy helped her recover and now they’re best friends

Tech wiz

Daphne:

19, fashion design major

5’6”

Pan, she/her

Grew up in a wealthy family with four older sisters, was always pressured by her parents to fit their image of perfection, so she eventually started deliberately doing things to piss them off

Starting a relationship with Fred was the breaking point and now she doesn’t talk to them (she still keeps in touch with her sisters, though)

Natural blonde, dyes her hair

The most athletic out of all of them, used to do gymnastics and dance throughout middle school and high school

Quit when she realized how much it was negatively affecting her body image

Hates when people assume she’s ditzy just because she’s hyperfeminine

Looks mean at first, is actually super sweet

Fascinated with ghosts and cryptids

Loves ‘80s and ‘90s Heathers-inspired fashion

Shaggy:

20, culinary arts major but was undecided for a while

5’9”

Aroace, he/him

Mix of hippie and grunge aesthetic

Definitely smokes weed

Loves ‘70s and ‘80s music

Has a panic disorder, ADHD, and dyslexia

Has seen every classic horror movie to ever exist despite being terrified of them

Everyone assumes the Mystery Machine belongs to him until someone in the Mystery Gang corrects them

Will eat basically any type of food you put in front of him

Shitty relationship with his parents since they have unreachable expectations for him and constantly compare him to his classmates and cousins

Scooby:

Shaggy’s psychiatric service “dog”

Not actually a dog—in reality he’s an alien who crash-landed near Shaggy’s house and took the form of a Great Dane, the Rogers got him trained as a service dog for Shaggy’s panic disorder, and the rest is history

Shaggy still has no idea (although he and the gang do think it’s weird that Scoob can talk)

Despite being a bit of a coward he’d do anything to protect the gang, especially Shaggy

Likes horror movies just as much as Shaggy

Will eat literal garbage if hungry enough (which is all the time)

Started developing doglike traits over the years (barks at people walking by, hates the vacuum, developed a taste for dog treats, etc.)

Also here’s the full body photos i drew:

[anjelicawrites]

The winner takes it all

Series masterlist

Chapter VIII

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x reader

Synopsis: inspired by the Æthelflæd and Erik's storyline in The Last Kingdom. Might be spoilerish if you haven't seen it (go watch it!!!), even though I've just stolen the inspiration and went on with the story my way.

Warnings: Canon compliant violence, Aemond’s brothel experience, talk of rape..

A/N: reader is AFAB, they/them pronouns are used (they are called “lady” and “daughter of the North”). The only descriptor is that they have long hair.

A/N 1: this is an AU. Look at me taking the canon story of Westeros and yell “Parkhour!” as I jump out of the window clutching it in my hands.

Understanding what started this war makes accepting it still difficult. You understand political intrigues, the wanting of a crown, of power that makes people make the worst decisions and actions. You have seen it all your life, the schemings big Houses like yours had run for years to become the one true ruling House of the North, the marriages and betrayals, you remember and you know, but it still hurts to see how the defenses of the North are crumbling against the Valyrian invasion. It’s taking more time than the southerner planned, but it’s happening and you have realized that a free North will be no more than a dream. It destroys you to know that it’s the only outcome where you will survive, where the other Lords will not come for your head. If only the late King Viserys hadn’t remarried, but your heart cannot take the idea of a world where you didn’t have the chance to meet Aemond, as complicated as it had been.

You two share a bed but he hasn’t touched you and you hadn’t initiated anything, your heart still at war towards him. He has taken on sparring with you using fake swords, going slow to help you get back into the complicate dance that is a fight and you can’t help yourself but admire him and his perfect form, the way he has total control on every muscle of his body, even his hair seem to move in tandem with the different position he finds himself into while blocking your attacks, as if he has control over it as well. He truly is a work of art, dangerous and fascinating, pulling you towards him, like a sailor lost at sea. You pour all your complicated feelings into this training, charging every blow with your sadness and anger, trying to keep your head clear and not let the turmoil win. It takes you a little while to go back where you once were before getting married, your muscles stiff and slow in following what your mind commands, but you are getting there and you realize it the day Aemond’s demeanor shifts and stops pulling his punches when you enter his defense and almost disarm him. For a second he stares at you incredulously and then proceeds to counterattack. The fight ends with him victorious and you breathless.

“You should be proud of yourself - he tells you while he is escorting you to your shared quarters - not many people can say they have almost managed to win over me”

“Maybe next time I will”

“You might as well have already done it” he says so low that you can’t hear him over the ruckus that’s the stomping of your guards.

You can’t help yourself but worry for him when he leaves for battle, hoping he will come back unscathed, while losing against the army of the North. The bed feels big and cold without him, you can’t fall asleep easily without hearing his breathing and random snoring; during those long nights you wish you still had the pendant with your parents’ portraits. You didn’t wear it during the kidnapping and you wonder if your husband had destroyed it, along with all your belongings the moment he came back from the failed negotiation. Sometimes you wonder if this has been his plan all along, in order to get rid of you without murdering you, which would have probably caused an uproar in the Houses loyal to yours; you marrying Aemond had been a curveball, he probably expected you to be killed, but branding you a traitor will wash his hands the moment he’ll try to kill you. You know he will try, given the chance, which will happen, sooner or later; Aemond is not stupid enough to bring you along when in battle, but one day you’ll be face to face with you husband and he will try to pull something, you know how his mind works and you are positive he will try to make you pay for disrespecting him during your last encounter.

Those thoughts surface at random in your head, you being swamped with work and having to practice sword fighting even when Aemond is not around. To top that, you can feel unrest in the men, but without knowledge of High Valyrian, you have no idea of what they are talking about, why they all look so sullen, despite the many victories. Again, it’s the woman you consider your handmaiden that sheds light, explaining that Aemond has forbidden the soldiers from raping the civilians; they can kill and loiter but, if he gets wind of someone not following his orders, there will be consequences. Prompted, she can’t explain the reason behind Aemond’s actions, just that from the moment you were attacked and the man punished, Aemond had instituted this weird rule. You are in equal parts grateful and curious: why would he care about the wellbeing of his enemies? Protecting the bounty you can understand, what about all the common folk no one truly cares about? With a sigh you realize you know next to nothing of the man you married; you know every crevice of his body, know the sounds he makes when he’s close to orgasm, but have no idea of the inner workings of his mind, of what truly lies behind his lonely lilac eye. The flash of the sapphire appears in your mind, how he scrambled to hide it, but why would that have anything to do with him banning his men from raping your people? It feels like you’re missing a detail, something you’ve seen or heard and it’s now escaping you.

“This is frustrating”

“What is frustrating, dōna ābrazȳrys?”.

You, literally, jump out of your skin with a shrill scream

“Aemond!” it’s all you can manage over the furious beating of your heart

“I apologize dōna ābrazȳrys, I didn’t want to scare you”.

No ill feeling on your side still, you want to throw something at him out of sheer frustration and you almost do, your hand tight around an inkwell. Aemond observes you, he is positive you will not hit him, even though your eyes are blazing and you are still trying to catch your breath; you are so dear to his heart, every day he spends next to you, every time he spars with you, he realizes that the pull he feels towards you has a name he dares not pronounce, because the Kinslayer can’t hope to have his feelings reciprocated. He’d be happy to live his life by your side, without asking anything from you other than the warmth of your presence and even that he doesn’t deserve. He had been a fool to believe you would have him in your arms after everything he’s put you through, even sleeping next to you feels like an undeserved miracle; for a moment he wishes he was Aegon, he wishes to be able to drown all his sorrows and regrets in wine and whores. If he were his brother, though, he would have never been able to appreciate you, he would have never felt the spark that binds him to you and as much as it hurts to be physically distant from you, he’d rather be himself and cherish existing with you, than feeling nothing at all.

“I suppose I have to thank you - your voice stops his unruly thoughts - for sparing my people the shame of rape. I don’t understand why drawing the line there, but thank you”

“Rape is an unforgivable crime” he says, hoping this will be enough of an explanation

“I still don’t understand why a man would care about that. We are no more than another battlefield in the end”

“Deaths are bound to happen in war, it has always and will always be this way. Other things don’t”.

He can see the way your eyes are zeroing on him, not unlike when you are sparring and looking for a way to enter his guard and he has to physically force himself from stiffening his stance: you must never suspect or know.

As you stare at him, your mind goes back to the night he had that nightmare, your brain trying to remember his precise words: what did he say that didn’t go there with murdering his family?

“I don’t want this. You said ‘I don’t want this’! And why would you tell your victims that?”.

Reaching the only, logical, conclusion it’s a matter of seconds, Aemond realizes and you can see his skin becoming a disturbing shade of gray. You don’t give him time to do anything, swiftly you go to him and take his hands in yours with a gentle hold.

“Is that person dead?”.

You have to repeat the question several times before he seems to be able to focus on your words.

“I don’t know. I never went back - his fingers curl with yours in a desperate attempt to keep himself under control, his stomach churning painfully - it doesn’t matter”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t”.

With gentle movements he uncurls his fingers from yours and heads to the door. He doesn’t have the courage to look at you, fearing what he could find there.

“I would have stopped my man anyway” he says grabbing the door handle

“Thank you Aemond”.

He doesn’t expect the seriousness in your tone, pity maybe, contempt even, but not the quiet firmness that makes him stare into your lovely face, where he can see your sadness and concern.

“You were the only one ñuha jorrāelagon, the only one I ever truly wanted - he hates how his voice sounds now - if you’ll excuse me” he says with a curt bow, before exiting your shared chambers, needing to be alone with his thoughts.

When you wake at sunrise, after an uneasy slumber, your handmaid tells you he has gone into battle. Your heart trembles at the thought.

Aemond taglist: @fan-goddess

[goldrushenthusiast]

Which The Hunger Games characters :

1. Do you relate the most?

2. Do you think missunderstood by people?

3. Do you want to know better?

Please give reasons for your answers. And you can pick more than one character for each question.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

1. Honestly probably Peeta

I’ve grown up with a lot of privilege, same with MOST (but not all) of my friends. Whenever I love someone I have the tendency to hold onto it no matter what. I have a great view of the world, and no matter how much I think I can I can’t really hold a grudge for the life of me. I take pictures of everything naturey, if I could paint I’d be doing it all the time, and in general I think we have very similar senses of humor and outlooks on life in general. Peeta and James Potter have been my top fictional character relations since probably early 2022 tbh.

2. Sejanus & Lucy Gray (this is influenced by Coriolanus HEAVILY)

One thing that’s interesting about these is that while people call Katniss an unreliable narrator (she really isn’t tbh, you get that with a lot of first person POVS), Coriolanus is really the one not to be trusted. Every word in that book, even thought it’s from a third person POV, is stained by his mind. It makes it hard separating characters true personalities in it because they’re so diluted by what Coriolanus wants them to be. Dialogue is the most important part of it, but just the dialogue itself. I don’t think we can trust Coriolanus much after.

For one- Coriolanus sees Sejanus as a bit dumb, like he doesn’t know everything he does but it’s not ignorant, just dumb and not smart enough to realize it. This is because of Coriolanus’ idea that he’s smarter than everyone, so he automatically thinks people who don’t think the same as he does are dumb. It’s condescending and even if he doesn’t notice it, it’s still there. When he’s confronted with the idea it might not be true (Lucy Gray winning, all of her deep discussions) his mind goes through hoops trying to explain it. His bigoted attitude towards district people is HUGE. He automatically thinks that they’re (including Sejanus and Lucy Gray) are less smart than him.

This leads to him treating them as such and seeing through that veil. There are a couple of times where we see Sejanus has a personality beyond pity and self wallowing, where he makes sarcastic remarks & acts like a complicated person. I’ll try not to let my own interpretation of Sejanus reflect too much here because I don’t have much to support it.

As a reader, naturally, we see characters how we remember them, and we remember them based on what’s memorable ABOUT them. You remember Sejanus for what Coriolanus calls “outbursts” or tantrums, so you begin to associate him with those childlike emotions and the idea that he doesn’t really understand what he’s getting into.

It’s why I see this idea - that he’s just a poor baby, who just wants to help - so much from people who’ve only read the books <3 times or so. They don’t remember his under the breath comments and things like that, or the way Coriolanus describes him. IMO, for the most part, Sejanus DOES know what he’s doing (most of the time), just doesn’t think it through entirely. I’ve seen too many people portray him like a himbo, or an idiot, which ISNT TRUE. At all. They only do it because Coriolanus still associates Sejanus with his 8 year old child self and because Coriolanus sees him as lesser, and dumber, which go hand in hand for him.

That was way more than I was planning to write- oops! But the physiological aspects of how we see characters and what affects that is fascinating.

Now, Lucy Gray. Because we see her in a more romantic way, because Coriolanus does, we see her differently, because Coriolanus sees all forms of love (minus obligatory things, like family) the same (I could talk about this FOREVER).

Coriolanus sees Lucy Gray as something he can control and own. Obviously, she isn’t. He also sees her as a bit helpless and needy, which again, she isn’t. She’s been providing for her family since she was 12 (approx). It’s easy to assume she’s very strong, and she handles things well.

Now, the thing with Lucy Gray is that a lot of people think that she never loved Coriolanus, she was just using him, and I get where that comes in. However, I disagree. I think that’s the MAIN off characterization. She was not stone cold and unfeeling, nor was she some badass.

Lucy Gray’s character I actually change my mind about a LOT, because that’s exactly what she does to people. That’s what she’s SUPPOSED to do. It was how she written. She’s an amazing actor, and everything she does (although not on the first read), we start to question. This goes back into our view as a reader & how we characterize characters. She’s memorable because we saw her as Coriolanus did (someone to be helped, with a sad past, and someone attractive), then that view switched. During the first half of part 2, we started to see her come out of her shell and be more fun & rebellious. She still was in part 1, don’t get me wrong, but because Coriolanus didn’t seem to register that as much neither do we, or at least we don’t get the full extent of it until part 2.

In the first half of part 2, because of the shows and the hanging tree, we get more clues as to who she actually is. I think that part 2 is where we really have to consider her personality because it’s 10x as likely she isn’t acting anymore. We also see her past with Billy Taupe, which provides just the right opportunity for Coriolanus (and therefore us) to continue seeing her as someone who needs protection and has ownership.

This is good (ofc not really GOOD, but you get the point), because it really lets us experience the full extent of the SHOCK (the first time reading it) when Lucy Gray betrays him. I’ve already talked lots about why they betrayed each OTHER, and how it made perfect sense for each character, so if you’re interested it’s somewhere on @balladofmyramblings. It’s the one about people getting wrong why the ending was perfect.

As I’ve said before, Lucy Gray values TRUST. It’s why she does go to Coriolanus for comfort after he shoots Mayfair, and why she turns to him. It’s not about needing him, it’s about the fact that now that she’s out of the arena and can trust him & she doesn’t think he’ll hurt her, she can actually trust him. It’s why I think that she truly loved him. Remember, Coriolanus is also affected by his view of himself. We’re annoyed with him and know he doesn’t view Lucy Gray well because we know him. But he’s a good actor, and it’s vibes that Lucy Gray must go off of. Their purest stage of their relationship was during the first half of part 2 for sure.

I’d also like to mention Lucy Gray just got out of a toxic, probably abusive, heart wrenching relationship so it makes sense she’s LOOKING for more protection in a partner, even if she doesn’t exactly need to be protected (or owned especially).

Anywho, TLDR, people think that Lucy Gray was more cold and calculated than she was or (but I didn’t touch on this because I haven’t seen it much) not at all. Truth is, she’s a mix of both, and does find comfort in Coriolanus & eventually betrays him in a cold and calculated way.

3. Tigris!

I’d love to see Coriolanus’ rise to power through HER eyes, and know her story, and all that she did. She’s a very interesting character and I’m glad Suzanne made her Coriolanus’ cousin instead of some stranger- it was genius.

Thank you for the question, @curiousnonny, and as always feel free to debate but not argue with me in the reblogs/replies!

[iiboronii]

Ok so the aforementioned OC universe is known as IDPS, short for Interdimentional Pizza Shop (and Mercenary Work)! There is literal YEARS worth of lore and ideas put into this thing I love it so much :D

This version of Artic is the one in my pfp, and who the oc: artic tag refers to lol- Basically she's embodiment of the season of winter, a huge dragon enthusiast, and the much-needed voice of reason!!

She's not a "true" skeleton per se, like she's not undead, she's just kinda in the shape of one- Though she can disconnect and reattach her bones like a cartoon ouo

She has ice powers, but not in a "shooting ice beams out of your hands" kinda way, it's very contact based!

She can freeze things by touching them, she can make a layer of ice under her feet to sliiide around super fast, and sometimes she physically freezes up under stress so you have to wait for her to thaw out akjfds

She can pick up your drink and little ice cubes form in it, in whatever shape she wants! And when she cries the tears freeze up so there's just little bits of ice on her face you gotta wipe off

In IDPS there are these things called essences, which are the super concentrated (and super illegal) form of a concept, usually in liquid form like a potion. Like if you poured a drop of Essence of Princess onto an apple, it would turn all sparkly and have a big bow on it!

Artic just naturally has the Essence of Winter in her bones instead of blood or marrow! So she doesn't have to worry about vampires bc they'd just get a really bad brainfreeze lol

She mainly fights with dual blades made of ice, inspired by Monster Hunter's dual blades! She's a very strategic and speedy fighter, her movements almost dancelike in combat, and she likes to use the terrain to her advantage!

And since this is a multiverse story, she actually goes through the story mode of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, saving a village from a giant sea monster! The gal who gives out quests in that game, Aisha, is like an older sister to her hehe ouo

So Artic is a licensed monster hunter, and she is absolutely FASCINATED with these creatures and how they work. And after some shenanigans in her childhood town in the mountains, she even starts her own sanctuary to educate people and care for dragons that wouldn't make it in the wild!

Here she's shipped with Ink Sans, and they live together with her dragon pet / companion Blizzard ouo!

It's this really sweet little story about Ink showing this really anxious and sheltered girl the world, seeing all the potential and life in her eyes and wanting to see her blossom.

And there's a scene where Ink is trying to hide his condition (basically he's undead and needs to drink magic paints in order to feel and regulate emotions), bc so many people have left him after finding out. But Artic doesn't mind at all, after all it's still him and she likes him for who he is ouo

The two are basically opposites, but they work well together and they're just silly little guys in love ouo

Artic's main arc is about identity and archetypes. Like how winter is often portrayed as this harbinger of death that needs to be driven away, but Artic is really soft and sweet-

She wants so desperately to be a hero, but the archetypal hero is confident and charming and brave and super strong; everything she thinks she isn't. But in reality, she's the most heroic of her peers because of her kindness!

There's a whole theme of knights and dragons and legends, realizing that those notions of what she should or shouldn't be don't define her, because people are more complex and nuanced than that ouo

THIS IS SO COOL OUGHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

My FAVORITE part is that there's literal years of lore built into this thing. Clearly it has been crafted with nothing but love and care in mind and I think that's beautiful.

I didn't even realize that was Artic in your pfp?? That's so cute I love it so so much :DD (Is there a high definition version I can look at? I wanna see her clearer!)

ARTIC'S POWERS ARE SO NEAT IN THIS!!!! I want heart shaped ice cubes that's actually so cute. And the way her abilities affect the way she experiences stress and cries? Chef's kiss. Do her ice powers affect her whenever she experiences other intense emotions? And also can the thawing out process be helped by blankets and stuff or does she just stay frozen? Oooh or does she just continuously keep refreezing bc of the stress? Like trying to thaw her out helps a little but not for long and not much? SORRY I'M JUST SO CURIOUS I REALLY LIKE THE CONCEPT OF HER POWERS AFFECT HER BASED ON EMOTIONS THAT'S SO FREAKING COOL-

And essences!!!!!! Oughhh I really like the concept (pun intended)!!!!! Is there an essence for every concept or just certain ones? And vampires getting brainfreeze LMFAO. Can you drink an essence or does that turn your organs into the concept? And is Artic the only person with an essence in her bones or do other people have it?

THE COMBAT YES OMFG I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY,,, STRATEGIC AND SPEEDY AND DANCELIKE I LOVE IT!!! She's so intelligent using the terrain!!! I can see her in my head looking around, eyes darting quickly to survey the area as she narrowly avoids an attack before making her next move!! Effortlessly she slashes her opponent when they're not looking due to her adaptability and quick thinking.

And I'm so sorry I don't know anything about Monster Hunter whatsoever </3 BUT I DID SOME RESEARCH FOR YOU OFC AND IT LOOKS LIKE SM FUN???? I didn't get much of the story aspect of it but it seems great omg. Anyways Artic's curiosity is always something I love seeing!! I can see her killing this giant sea monster (Lagiacrus, I presume?) and then being like "wait a moment- I know this thing was terrorizing you all but I want a closer look at it-" AND FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED OUGHHH ARTIC AND AISHA <333 THAT'S SO CUTE,,, and the sanctuary <33. Artic is so caring it's so sweet!! It's completely refected in her character and everything she does, I think. Not just in IDPS but across the board! Like. She saves this village from a sea monster and she wants dragons to be taken care of because she's just like that natrually. And even in like Buttermilk Daydreams she just wants to take care of The Onceler as best as she can!!!! And in the Biggering AU even though she's MAD at this man she's STILL telling him that they'll figure something out (they always do). Sorry I'm literally IN LOVE with the threads that stitch your AUs together I got so sidetracked LMFAO-

But anyways Artic and Ink Sans being opposites is SO GOOD AAAAAA- Artic feels so deeply and Ink doesn't feel at all without the paints. Artic has been sheltered and Ink has seen too much. And there's Artic's sweet and caring side coming out again!! Ink is afraid to tell Artic about his condition, but Artic could care less.

ARTIC SELF DISCOVERY YES YES YES YES YES!!!! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO GIVE INTO THE STEREOTYPES!!!!!! She's not winter even though she has its essence flowing within her. She's a hero even though she doesn't look like it. And her kindness being the thing that makes her most heroic?? I'M IN LOVE. This is what I was talking about earlier!!!! She's just so caring and sweet!!! It's something she uses to her advantage!!!!