#he spent so much time proving that he could he never truly pondered whether he Should… the HC story

[fauvester]

@antebellumite shhhh he’s firing his single neuron

[happypolicecherry]

Alhaitham x reader. Read to find out

I'm not sure where this whole story was going but I tried my best to wrap things up nicely. I do apologise for any grammatical error or bad narration that makes anyone experience displeasure with my writing.

Writing has never been my area of expertise but I am trying my best with everything I have tried to write.

in the middle of the night and you are trying to convince Alhaitham to let you join a dangerous mission newer scholars has to participate in order to gain experience.

"As I've said before, no." Alhaitham stood firm in front of you, Arm crossed across his chest. His unwavering confidence nips at your patience the longer you spend trying to force your reasoning into his thick head as to why you must personally attend to the commission the Akademiya had tasked to the newer scholar in your team.

"Alhaitham, listen. I know that other senior scholars have way too much free time on their hands and that they should be the ones to watch over newer ones but I am also capable-" He sighs, eyes closing. Alhaitham begins to walk away from you, tinkering with books and the historic decor he has. With the sudden movement he made, you find yourself pacing after him like a child.

Or to be more accurate, like a young scholar chasing after her mentor, listening to his speeches while he stacks book after book onto her. God, what a nightmare. A sense of Deja Vu that makes the hair on your skin crawls. And it did.

"Why can't you just listen? It'd make a good opportunity for me too. I get to practice my knowledge in the real world instead of in some old boring office." Frustration grew inside of you. You already knew Alhaitham wouldn't willingly agree to something that could potentially risk your life but the fact that he flatly refuse your idea as if it doesn't worth being pondered over? unbelievable.

"I am listening. Although applying your knowledge in the outside world is far more preferred for many scholars as it does help with developing your skills faster,"

"Then I can go?!" You beamed. Accidentally cutting him off. You truly believe you had finally succeeded in convincing him.

"... I'm not finished. It doesn't mean you have to put yourself on the bridge between life and death. So my answer's still the same." He continued. As soon as he finished your expression slowly turn glum.

Just before you could feel the rejection setting in for the second time, a bright idea popped into your head. ".. why don't you follow me then?"

"I told you, I can't. As the acting grand sage I have multiples matters to attend to at the Akademiya. If I had known you'd insist as volunteering for the mission, I wouldn't have granted it approval in the first place." Alhaitham raises his hand.

Doing his usual gesture where he's staring right into your eyes and swing one hand out while the other stay crossed across his chest. It took every ounce of willpower in you to not roll your eyes over how annoying he looks with his as-matter-of-factly expression.

"If the mission is so dangerous why are you leaving it in the hands of the newer schoolars.." You mumbled your words but it proves that nothing goes unnoticed to Alhaitham especially when it's you he's facing.

"Because I like to see the world burn." his nonchalant-ness had you worried. You slowly backs away from him, opting to drop the topic. Maybe you had been too pushy with him earlier. ".. don't..?" until now you've never understood why people always complains over how hard it is to tell whether Alhaitham is being serious or not.

Over the time you've spent with him, he had always been somewhat of an easy-to-read man. Straightforward and honest to you. Oh but now? now you're sweating because his comment relating to arsonist paired with his serious expression makes you wonder if you should prepare for the day when an unknown fire broke out somewhere in the Akademiya thus burning the entirety of Sumeru city down.

Maybe you'd find your boyfriend standing on top of it all with an unhinged smile and maniac laughter coming from him screaming burn burn burn!

But ofcourse, all your fantasies were interrupted by the very same man. "I'm joking, Y/n." your expression must've told him everything you were thinking about seeing how he's quick to admit he wasn't serious.

"so then.. can I go?" you repeat your question. Continuously asking him until you finally get him to say yes. Alhaitham sighs in pure defeat. It's starting to look like you are not the only frustrated one here.

"Y/n.. Let's just sleep for now." he grabs your forearm gently, pulling you to your shared bedroom after having had enough of your persistent attempt on changing his mind regarding the matter that was so important to you. He still doesn't see the importance of you joining them if you can just stay at the Akademiya and learn with him instead.

But eventually, he'll give it some thought and try to view things from the eyes of a scholar and not the eyes of an overprotective lover. Just keep pestering him so he won't think you've given up the idea of going.

[typical-simplelove]

You All Along (J. Markstrom)

Author's Note: While celebrating 200 followers, I did a blurb weekend and wrote a blurb with the prompt: I didn't know where else to go with Jacob Markstrom. I loved the blurb so much that I decided to expand on it. This is the blurb if you haven't read it yet. It isn't embedded into the fic, but it is mentioned. Enjoy!

Warnings: cheating, broken engagements, heartache

Word Count: 11.6k

Additional Note: I didn't give a name to the ex-fiance; she is just referred to as "she", so if you see the pronoun she, then it's about the ex-fiance. Additionally, all italicized lines are in the POV of Jacob.

You and Jacob have been friends for as long as he’s been in Vancouver. You met him when you were on a night out with some friends. He was on his own and looking kind of sad. You walked over to him and introduced yourself hoping to make him happier. Instantly, he thought you were trying to sleep with him. When you told him he looked like he needed a friend, he let out a breath of relief. From there a beautiful friendship formed. You spent every single possible free moment together. As time went on, you began to develop feelings for him. Your friends looked at you the day after you realized how you felt and knew you finally realized yourself. They tried talking you into telling him how you felt. You always told them, though, that the reason your friendship blossomed was that he never had to worry about you falling in love with him. You didn’t want to lose his friendship, so you kept your feelings to yourself.

You watched Jacob date other women. At first, it was just casual dates and hookups here and there. However, when he met her, you knew it wasn’t casual. You watched Jacob fall head over heels for this woman, and she did the same. Unfortunately, you were standing on the side watching your best friend fall in love while you stood on the sidelines. For years, you watched them be all cute and lovey; you told people that you were fine and over him. You tried to be fine. Your best friend was happy, so shouldn’t you be happy, too?

A few months before Jacob got traded to Calgary, you got a new job. A new job in Calgary. You wanted to have Jacob over for dinner to tell him. He showed up at your apartment with his girlfriend in tow. You weren’t expecting her, too, but it made sense considering they were together. When you opened your door, you were met with big smiles on her and Jacob’s faces. You welcomed them, handed them a glass of wine, and immediately, she showed you her left hand. She’s engaged! You were shocked. You should have expected it considering they’ve been together for many years, but you thought Jacob would tell you.

You put a smile on your face and congratulated them. You ended up not telling them about your new job because you didn’t want to upstage them. You put a smile on your face and conducted a successful dinner party. When she and Jacob left that evening, you closed the door and broke down in tears. It was official, then. You truly had no possibility of ever being with Jacob. He was getting married, and you were in love with him.

You ended up taking the job and moving to Calgary. Jacob tried to talk you out of it, but later on, he retracted his statement. He didn’t say why, but you think that his fiance asked him to. As you began to observe the changes in their relationship, you noticed how she began to be controlling in the relationship. You wanted to say something, but you didn’t think Jacob would notice or listen to you because he was hopelessly in love with her.

When Jacob called you saying that he was being traded to Calgary, you were happy for him. In the months you were in Calgary, you felt you were over him. However, when you saw him for the first time standing on the front porch of his new house, you knew you were lying to yourself. You went home and cried. You weren’t sure how long you could pretend to be fine with the wedding and not having Jacob in the way you wanted.

You watched from the sidelines as Jacob and his fiance worked to plan the wedding of their dreams. You watched as she became a bit more controlling as each day went on. Somehow, she might have caught on to your feelings because she loved to flash her ring around. You put on a good facade that was worthy of an Oscars nomination.

You tried your hardest to put yourself out there and get over Jacob, but every date you went on, you were always comparing them to Jacob without knowing it. You did try; however, you knew that it was hopeless. Jacob was the person for you. He always would be. You felt bad stringing these men along, so you opted to stop dating for the time being until you could figure out how to coexist and co-date with the feelings you had for Jacob.

. . .

It was one week before the wedding when everything blew up in Jacob’s face. He thought they were happy; he thought she was also ready for forever. Turns out, she wasn’t. She was in the shower, and her phone was blowing up with texts and calls. He was trying to focus on a book you told him about, but her phone was bothering him, so he went to turn off the ringer. However, he paled at what he saw. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to ignore it? Does he confront her? Thankfully, though, she walks out of the bathroom in her towel and catches Jacob holding her phone.

“What’re you doing?” she asks in a tone that was a mix of accusation and nervousness.

“I was going to turn off your ringer because it was bothering me, but turns out, you’re cheating on me,” Jacob says blatantly.

She doesn’t meet his eye, but she also doesn’t deny anything.

“So, nothing to say?”

“What was I supposed to do, Jacob? You have Yn! You both have a connection that I can never match or be a part of! You’re too close. I was feeling sad and angry, and I needed someone.”

“So you went to someone else?” Jacob angrily says. “We’re getting married. You’re supposed to tell me when you have issues or problems like this.”

“You don’t think I tried?”

“If you tried then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If you told me how you felt, then I’d have tried to limit my time with Yn and focus on you. Like it or not, you and I agreed on forever. Yn and I won’t always be forever. At one point, she’ll get married. You have to tell me these things!”

She scoffs at Jacob. “It doesn’t matter if she might be getting married one day because she probably won’t.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“You’re both too close! The connection you have is ridiculous to ever get between. It’s like you both are together, and I’m standing on the sidelines. Jacob, I tried to slowly take her out of your life, but she’s always there.”

“What do you mean you tried to take her out of my life?” Jacob is getting angry now. You were his best friend, so anyone who said anything bad about you was automatically bad news to him.

“I can’t marry you if she’s in your life. I tried to limit her interactions with you as much as possible, but still, you found a way for her to be in your life regardless of what I wanted.”

“I didn’t know that you felt this way because you didn’t tell me! If you felt this way, why didn’t you say something?”

“I thought she’d back off knowing she can’t have you because I’m with you, but she was still there.”

“What do you mean back off?”

“You mean to tell me that you don’t know that Yn has feelings for you? She’s head over heels for you, and you don’t know?”

“No, you’re wrong,” Jacob denies. There’s no way, right?

“No, I’m right. She has feelings for you, and I think deep down, so do you. Every time she calls you saying she needs you, you’re always right there at her beck and call. Do you know the number of times that you’ve changed our plans to be there for her? You’re supposed to be canceling plans with her for me, not vice versa. Jacob, I tried to take her out of your life, but she’s always there because you refuse to let her leave.”

“Why would I want my best friend to leave? Also, I think we’re missing the fact that you cheated on me!”

“Like you never cheated on me with Yn.”

“I never did,” Jacob retorts, and she just scoffs in response. “You know why? Because I’m in love with you! I’m marrying you, not Yn!”

“You still want to marry me?” she asks softly.

Jacob doesn’t answer. Does he want to marry her anymore? She cheated and admitted to trying to control his life by taking you out.

“You have two options,” she says. “You pick me, and we get married. I’ll end whatever relationship I have with him, but you don’t get Yn in your life. You don’t get to talk to her, call her, or do anything with her. You stop talking to her cold turkey. Or, you leave me.”

“What? Why would you do that to me?”

“I can’t compete with Yn to be the number one woman in your life.”

“There is no competition because you are the number one woman in my life.”

She scoffs. “As much as I want to believe that, it’s not true.”

Jacob goes silent. She’s not wrong though. Even though she was number one in his life, you were close behind. He could always count on her, but he knew you’d be there no matter what for him. You’d never make him choose. “I’m not picking because there’s no reason to. Yn doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“Answer this, then. In the seven years that you’ve known Yn, has she ever had a relationship that lasted longer than six months?”

Jacob ponders the question briefly. No, you haven’t had any relationships that have lasted longer than six months. He never thought anything of it, though. You always told him that the person wasn’t what you wanted, or you didn’t like him like that. He never thought it had anything to do with him. It didn’t, he thought to himself. You don’t have feelings for him. “Why are you trying so hard to prove this point when it’s not right?”

“So, no, right? Jacob, why can’t you see it? She’s in love with you, and whether or not you realize it, you’re in love with her, too. Deep down, it was always her. It always will be.”

“I’m not picking you or Yn because there is no choice to be made. I love you and want to marry you. If you still want that, then I can find a way to get past the infidelity and everything said here.”

“I can’t. I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t be with you knowing that you know she loves you, and you refuse to do anything about it. I’m not marrying you. I can’t marry you. She’ll always be first in your heart, and I can’t compete with that.”

Jacob nods. “I understand. You can have the house; I’ll sell my rights to you.”

“No, you take the house. You have roots in Calgary; I don’t.”

“Okay, you can stay here for the next few weeks until you figure things out and move out.”

“Where will you go?” she asks.

Jacob shrugs. “I’m not sure.” In reality, though, he knows where he’s going. He’s going to you because he knows he can always count on you.

“That’s bullshit. You’re going to Yn.”

“Goodbye,” Jacob says as he walks out the door with only his wallet, phone, and keys in tow.

. . .

It was one week before Jacob’s wedding when you felt you finally figured it out. You figured out how to ignore the nagging thoughts that the person you were on a date with wasn’t Jacob. You finally figured it out. Sure, maybe it was partially because you haven’t seen him in a month. After all, he was busy, but still, progress is progress.

You had it figured out until Jacob knocked on your door at three in the morning. He knocks telling you he had nowhere else to go. You let him in, and he tells you that she cancelled the wedding. They aren’t getting married next week. Jacob begins rambling on, but you tell him just to ignore it all right now. Take the night to relax and try to calm down. You’ll both deal with the after-effects of the wedding being cancelled in the morning. You lead Jacob into your bedroom to sleep. He insisted on sleeping on the couch, but you both knew that he was way too big for it. You fell asleep that night with Jacob holding you as you fell asleep. You sighed in content. This was the way it was supposed to be.

. . .

As you quickly fell asleep, Jacob couldn’t sleep. He lied to you. He told you that the reason he and his fiance ended the engagement was because of his travel. He thinks you would have called out his lie knowing that she and Jacob have been together for five years. One would think that after being together for five years, the travel wouldn’t be a deal-breaker anymore. How was Jacob supposed to tell you that the reason he isn’t getting married anymore was because of you? How was he supposed to tell you that you were the reason he was in your bed? How was he supposed to wrap his mind around the fact that you might have feelings for him?

His thoughts were immediately halted when you shift around in the bed slightly and lean closer into Jacob. A wide smile crosses his face. Suddenly, though, one thought is coursing through his mind: was she right? Did you have feelings for him? Why did Jacob feel like all his worries slipped away when he walked into your apartment? Why did Jacob feel so much more comfortable holding you than he ever did holding her? Why did he feel more comfortable in your home than he did his own with her? Why did he love the smell of your perfume more than he did hers? Why did he love the feel of you against his body more than he ever did hers? Why wasn’t he more upset about his broken engagement? Why wasn’t he more worried about what would happen in the morning? Did he waste his time with her when you were always there?

. . .

Jacob woke up to an empty bed the next morning. Momentarily, he forgot about the broken engagement. He remembered the events the previous night, though, when he turns over and is met with your cream sheets instead of his grey sheets. He gets out of your bed and walks into the kitchen where you’re sitting there with a bowl of cereal. You left an empty bowl for him sitting there in the event you wanted some. He poured a bowl of cereal and sat next to you.

“Morning,” he says to you.

You nod. “Your mom called me.”

“Why did my mom call you?”

You just look at him with a peculiar, knowing look in your eyes.

“Oh, broken engagement, right.”

“Care to tell me why the engagement is broken?” you ask. He looks at you. He didn’t want to. The same thought went through his head. How is he supposed to tell you that you were the reason the engagement was broken?

“She couldn’t take the travel anymore,” he lies.

You nod. “Okay.”

Jacob knows that you know he lied. He’s grateful, though, that you didn’t call him out on it. He isn’t sure what he’d do if you called him out on it.

He was lying. You knew he was lying, and you weren’t sure why. He told you when he woke you up that it was the distance. You let that lie go knowing that he was probably going through a lot. However, when Jacob’s mom called you that morning saying she heard about the broken engagement, she wanted your opinion. You aren’t sure what Jacob’s ex-fiance told her, but she didn’t tell Jacob’s mom what Jacob told you. Jacob’s mom didn’t believe you when you told her it was the travel, but you were grateful that she didn’t call you out on your lie. What were you supposed to say? Jacob wasn’t telling you what happened, and you weren’t going to press him for any information he didn’t want to give you.

When you told him that his mother called, you knew he was shocked. “I know you wanted to be the one to tell your mother, but you didn’t get the chance to. You should call her back.”

Jacob nods. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Just out of curiosity, how long do you think it will take for her to move out of the house?”

“Already want me gone?” Jacob teases and flashes you his signature grin that makes your heart skip a beat.

“No, no, I’m just asking.”

“I know, I’m only teasing. I told her to take as much time as she needed, but I can go and stay with Elias or go to a hotel.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you reply. “You can stay with me. I don’t have a spare bedroom, but you can take my bed, and I’ll take the couch.”

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to take you out of your bed.”

“I mean, unless you don’t mind sharing a bed with me then it’s fine then,” you know that sharing a bed with Jacob for a few weeks will make your feelings skyrocket through the roof. You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to get over him.

“That’s perfectly fine with me.”

You nod. “You should call your mom.”

Jacob nods and picks up his phone to call his mom. You could get through a few weeks without breaking your facade right?

. . .

“I don’t believe you, Jacob,” Jacob’s mother tells him.

“What do you mean you don’t believe me?” Jacob asks exasperated. He was hoping his mother wouldn’t call him out on the lie he was telling.

“I don’t believe you because it doesn’t seem likely that distance would be an issue in a five-year relationship. Also, she didn’t tell me distance.”

“What did she say?”

“She told me you both grew apart. Is that true? Jacob, I’ll know when you’re lying to me, and so will Yn, so don’t lie to her either.”

“I have to lie to her,” Jacob blurts out. Shit, he shouldn’t have said that.

“What happened?”

Jacob looks out of the door to where you’re still sitting at the kitchen counter from where he’s sitting on your bed. He walks over off your bed and closes the door. He doesn’t want you hearing this part of the conversation.

“This conversation stays between us, okay?”

“Yes, yes, you’re making me worried.”

“Yeah, well. Okay, so, where do I begin? I was reading a book last night, and her phone was going off like crazy, so I went to turn off the ringer. Her screen was already lit up, and she was getting texts from this guy about when they’d be able to see each other in private again. She was cheating on me. She found me holding her phone, and I confronted her. She was saying how she would always feel second to Yn in my life even though she was always number one. Yn was not at all close to being number one in my life.”

“Jacob, I told you to stop lying to me.”

“Mom, I didn’t lie to you,” Jacob says trying to feign innocence. Wow, his mother was good at calling him out.

“Yes, you did, and you know exactly what you lied about.”

“Fine, Yn is a close second, but my fiance was still number one. She began saying how Yn and I were too close, and she felt like she couldn’t compete. She didn’t have to compete because there was nothing to compete for. She began talking about how Yn had feelings for me, and I deep down have feelings for Yn. I don’t, but she wouldn’t listen to me. She gave me an ultimatum and told me either we got married and Yn was out of my life or no wedding. I couldn’t pick because why would I? Everything she was saying was ridiculous, and Yn and I are just friends. Sure, we’re close, but there’s nothing more than that.”

“She picked for you, then?”

“Yeah,” Jacob says sadly.

“How are you doing with everything?”

“I’m fine, surprisingly,” Jacob answers. “This isn’t me trying to get you off my back. I’m fine. I don’t feel any heartbreak or anything.”

“If you’re doing good then, that’s good. Do you think you know why that is?”

Jacob doesn’t miss a beat with his response. “Because I have Yn.”

Jacob’s mother doesn’t say anything knowing that Jacob is going to realize in just a few moments the impact of his words, hopefully.

“No, that came out wrong,” Jacob rushes out quickly. “That’s not me saying because I love love her. It’s because I know I can count on her, and she can count on me.”

“Look, I’m not going to tell you what I think, but let me just leave you with this,” Jacob’s mother continues. “She has strong feelings for you. This is me asking you to be gentle with her heart. She’s been through a lot as your best friend, so please be gentle with her. ”

“Mom, she doesn’t —”

“Don’t argue with me about how Yn doesn’t feel that way to you, Jacob, okay? Be gentle with her because, whether or not you know it, you’ve caused her lots of heartache and heartbreak over the years, and the fact that she’s still in your life is monumental. Just open your eyes and look while you stay with her, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Jacob says. He and his mother say goodbye. Jacob puts his phone down as he hangs up. He stares at the pictures sitting on your dresser. He looks at you smiling with your young nieces and nephews. His smile widens, and his heart warms looking at your smile. Is it possible that you have feelings for him? If so, is it true that he’s caused heartbreak in your life? He walks out of your bedroom and into the kitchen where you’re still sitting.

“Good talk with you mom?” you ask.

Jacob nods. Suddenly, he isn’t sure what to say to you. He, for the first time, is seeing you. Despite your hair being a bit messy because you woke up a few hours earlier, it’s still beautiful. He, for the first time, is seeing the way your hair perfectly frames your face and how it accentuates your facial features. For the first time, he’s noticing the glimmer and shine in your eyes. He’s noticing the way your voice is laced with kindness despite him waking you at three in the morning.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, why?�� he asks, and he immediately blushes.

“You’re just acting weird,” you reply with a teasing smile. Jacob’s heart begins hammering in his chest. He’s looking at you and noticing your smile. How collected and beautiful your smile is. Jacob’s always known you were a beautiful woman. He’s told you on numerous occasions how stunning and beautiful you are. For the first time, though, he’s realizing how wrong that is, how much of an understatement beautiful is. You’re drop-dead gorgeous.

“You’re acting weird,” Jacob says mimicking your voice that brings out a giggle from you. Jacob looks at you, and his heart is beating much faster than before.

“You sure you’re okay?” you ask again and walk over to him. You place your hand on his forehead pretending you’re taking his temperature, and Jacob’s breath hitches in his throat. Did you notice? “Maybe you have a fever.”

“I’m fine, I promise,” Jacob whispers.

“Yeah, including everything that has happened?”

Jacob nods. He should probably stay at a hotel, right? He can barely get a single coherent thought, so why does he think he can live with you for a few weeks?

“Okay, well, I’m here if you want to talk,” you answer, taking your hand off of Jacob’s forehead. “I’m going to go get changed and ready for the day, okay? Maybe you should call or text her to talk about getting some of your stuff for basic survival.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Jacob answers. As you’re walking away, he calls out to you. “Hey, yn?”

You turn around and quirk your eyebrow. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. Jacob’s seen that expression before, but for the first time, he’s noticing how cute it is. “What for?”

He shrugs. How is he supposed to tell you he’s sorry for causing you pain and heartache that you’ve never voiced to him before? How is he supposed to apologize for a pain in you that you’ve hidden from him for so long? How is he supposed to continue knowing he’s hurt you so much before, but he’s never noticed? “Nothing in particular, just saying sorry.”

You nod in confusion. “Um, okay. Apology accepted I guess?”

Jacob thinks that if you knew what he was truly apologizing for, you wouldn’t forgive him.

. . .

He was apologizing. What was he apologizing for? What did he have to apologize for? He’s never caused you any hurt or sadness that would require him to apologize for. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Sure, he’s hurt you before, but it was because he fell in love with another woman. He didn’t know the hurt and heartbreak it caused, so he wouldn’t ever need to apologize for it.

You continue to get ready for the day and try to figure out why Jacob apologized and his weird mannerisms today. Normally, Jacob can meet your eye today and get clear, coherent sentences out. However, today, he couldn’t do that. He was giving you short, terse responses and nodding instead of talking.

“Jacob, do you know who’s going to be in charge of canceling everything?” you ask Jacob when you walk out of your bedroom.

He shrugs from where he’s sitting on your couch. “I’m not sure. Maybe I should ask.”

You sit next to him. “Whatever happens, just know, I’m here to help you, okay?”

Jacob nods and a weird look flashes across his face. Did you say something wrong? For the first time in your long friendship with Jacob, you’re second-guessing your words.

“You okay?” you cautiously ask.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Jacob deflects hurriedly.

“You’ve just been acting weird recently which is understandable considering circumstances, but you’re being weird with me which is weird.”

Jacob looks at you, and you try to read his mind and what he’s thinking. It doesn’t work; you weren’t able to.

“Jacob?”

He looks at you with a soft eye. “Yn?”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay, well, make sure you talk to her, so we can start canceling stuff and telling people that there isn’t a wedding this weekend.”

Jacob nods. He watched you get up from the couch and move to the kitchen table to get some work done. He knows you’re catching on to his weird behavior. For the first time, Jacob is befuddled and confused about how to act around you. He has no idea what to do, and he doesn’t like this feeling. You’re his best friend, so it shouldn’t be this hard for him to know how to act around you. Your smile, your concern, your soft facial expressions, your caring heart, all of it is overwhelming to Jacob. It’s always been there, and he’s always been on the other side of your kindness and caring nature and smile, but for the first time in forever, Jacob views it differently — a good difference. He’s going to have to figure out a way to push his conflicting feelings and views to the side if he’s going to be staying with you. He’s going to have to figure out how to act normally around you because he’s going to be staying with you. He’s going to be in your house, your home, your kitchen, your bed. He’s going to be living in your life, and he can’t put more on you than you can take. He now knows he’s hurt you before, and he has to find a way to make up for it.

. . .

For the week on what would have been the week of Jacob’s wedding, you and Jacob work to cancel it. He makes the calls to all his family, friends, and the wedding party. You were in charge of calling all the vendors and the venue. You sat next to Jacob the entire time he made the calls to his family. Much of it wasn’t in English, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. He thought he was starting his forever, but instead, it was crumbling at his feet.

During a particular call to his grandmother, you could see the tears starting to form in his eyes. You wanted to hug him and hold him, but he walked into your bedroom for privacy. You understood why, but you wanted to be there for him in every way possible. He walked out of your bedroom with his eyes puffy. You put your glass down and walk over to him. You wrap him in a hug and hold him as you feel his tears through your shirt. You stroke his back and comfort him as he finally lets all the emotions out. He lets all the emotions that he’s been keeping in for days finally out.

Jacob lifts his head off your shoulder, and you look up at him. You move your hands to his face and wipe the tears off his face. “Hey, it’ll be okay.”

Jacob nods. “How can you be so sure?”

“I don’t know, but I just do. Is that enough?”

“I think so.”

Jacob was a mess. He was sad and angry and upset. He wasn’t upset at her per se. He was more upset at himself. He was upset at himself for not seeing the signs of the relationship falling apart. He was upset that she cheated on him. He was upset that she put the duty of cancelling the wedding on him, not choosing to do anything. Mostly, though, he was upset that he’s been hurting you in the past years. He’s upset at himself for not seeing what he was doing to you and what she was doing to him. He’s angry and confused at himself for not seeing you for who you truly were. He’s confused. He doesn’t know much of anything anymore. He just wants to be okay and feel happy again. Despite all these confusing, angry feelings, Jacob takes one look at you, and he knows he’ll be okay because you always made him feel better. Even though he wasn’t sure the extent of your relationship with him anymore, Jacob knows that he can count on you and vice versa.

On what would have been Jacob’s wedding night, you ask him about his living situation. “Any news on when you’re getting the house back?”

“Already want to get rid of me?” Jacob teases. Was his voice teasing? Was it too accusatory? Is he coming off as teasing?

When you smile at his words, he knows that you knew he was teasing. “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just asking because my apartment is small, so I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or too cramped here.”

“Don’t worry, yn,” Jacob reassures. Was he talking normally? He wasn’t sure. His heartbeat was so loud in his ears that it was hard to know if he sounded normal. “Wherever you are, I’ll always be comfortable.”

You smile at him and return to the book you were reading. That was not normal at all. Has Jacob ever said those words to you? Maybe he should have told you that sooner because he always did feel comfortable wherever you were. Come to think of it, Jacob’s always felt more comfortable around you than he ever did her. He always felt more at ease and more at home whenever you were around. She never had that effect on him. Jacob always had to be on his toes around her making sure he doesn’t say or do anything wrong. Why did he always feel more comfortable with you?

“Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair in a few days if she doesn’t give me a plan or anything,” Jacob says.

“No, don’t do that,” you rush out quickly. Jacob knows you well enough to know that you’re flustered. He knows that you’re regretting getting that out so quickly. Despite all the changes that Jacob feels like your friendship is going through, the bottom line is he knows that you haven’t changed. You’re still the smart, beautiful, compassionate, caring person you always were. That’s not changing.

Jacob throws a deep chuckle your way.

“Stay as long as you need, Jacob,” you tell him with a shy smile. Upon seeing your smile, Jacob’s heart races. His stomach erupts in butterflies. Where were these feelings coming from? He’s known you for so long, so why is he just starting to develop romantic feelings for you? Were these romantic feelings? Was that what this is? Was he falling for you romantically?

“Thank you, Yn,” he whispers. You make him blush, flustered, and go crazy. Jacob doesn’t know much about what’s happening in his life, but he knows that as long as he has you, everything will be okay. You make his heart flutter and butterflies erupt whenever you breathe around him. Did Jacob always have these feelings for you? Did he ignore these feelings because he just wanted a friendship with you? Sure, at first that was all he wanted because he wasn’t looking for a relationship. Did he always feel this way? Were the feelings finally coming out because he wasn’t preoccupied with anyone else?

The following Monday, Jacob ventures out to practice for the first time. The coaches and the team gave Jacob a week to sort everything out and figure out his life. He was a bit rusty, but it felt great to get back on the ice. He noticed the pitying glances his teammates gave him, but when Jacob glared at them, they knew to stop.

“Marky? Do you mind staying behind for a moment?” Mark asks. “Just want to talk.”

Jacob nods. He knew this was coming for him; he knew he was going to get a talk from his captain.

“How are you doing?” Mark asks after everyone leaves.

“Um, I think I’m okay?” Jacob answers.

Mark nods. “That’s understandable. So, no sadness or anger or disappointment?”

“I — I, I don’t know how to answer that.”

Mark gives Jacob a weird look, and Jacob tries to put the thoughts into words.

“I’m angry at her for cheating on me and trying to control my life. I’m upset because I was planning this life with her, and she was one step in and one step out. I’m disappointed because I should have seen it. I’m upset and disappointed with myself because my mom told me that I’ve broken Yn’s heart before, and I didn’t notice.”

“Woah, slow down. One woman at a time. I understand all the stuff about her, but Yn? What does she have to do with this?”

“I’m staying with Yn right now until my house is free of my ex. My mom called me and told me to be gentle with Yn’s heart. I questioned her about it, and she was talking about how Yn loves me but romantically. She was telling me to be gentle with Yn’s heart because through my actions I’ve hurt her and shattered her heart. I mean, how have I never seen it? She’s my best friend, so shouldn’t I be able to see when I’m hurting her?”

“She’s good at hiding how she feels,” Mark answers.

“You knew?”

“How she feels about you, or how you’ve unknowingly hurt her before?”

“Both, I guess,” Jacob prompts.

“Yes, to both then.”

“So, you know how she might feel?”

“It’s obvious how she feels,” Mark says.

“How could I not have seen it? How could I have not seen how I’ve hurt her?”

“Don’t beat yourself up, okay? As I said, she’s good at hiding it. It took me a while to notice her feelings for you. She didn’t let you know or see how she felt because she wanted you to be happy. She let her feelings stay hidden, so you could be happy. If you were happy, then she was happy.”

Jacob nods. “I just, I don’t know.”

“I think the question that you should be asking yourself is why you care so much about this. I understand being upset that you didn’t know you’ve broken her in the past, but why is this on the front of your mind even though you just had an ended engagement?”

Jacob ponders the question momentarily. “I think I’m in love with her? I think I always was, but I didn’t let myself feel those feelings. I always did feel more comfortable with Yn than I ever did with my fiance, ex-fiance. I always felt more at home with Yn than I did with her. I think I’ve always had romantic feelings for her, but I didn’t let them out.”

Mark just stares agape at his teammate. He thought he was going to have to nurse this information out of Jacob. He wasn’t expecting Jacob to have gotten to this conclusion on his own.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Jacob says sadly.

“I agree with what your mom said about being gentle with Yn’s heart. She deserves that at least. You shouldn’t say anything without knowing for sure because she deserves that at least. Just act normally around her until you’re ready to say something.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know how to be normal around her!” Jacob says exasperated. “I’m overthinking everything, and I no longer know how to act around her. I don’t know if the way I’m talking is weird or normal; I just don’t know.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. Breathe,” Mark interjects. “Try to stay calm. Sure, it might be difficult and hard to act around Yn, but try. That’s all I can say.”

Jacob nods. He goes back to your apartment after practice running through all the words Mark said. He’s thinking through them. He’s right; you deserve Jacob to gentle with your heart. You deserve the world, but Jacob isn’t sure if he can give you the world. He wants more than anything to be able to know exactly how he feels, but he can’t help but feel like he’s self-sabotaging the entire friendship with his overthinking. If he doesn’t figure out how he feels, Jacob fears your friendship might be doomed.

. . .

It’s been one month since Jacob showed up at your door telling you about his broken engagement. In that one month, you hoped to find little things about Jacob you never knew before and turn them into reasons for you not to love him. You tried, but you couldn’t because he was perfect. Jacob was the perfect house guest, and you hated it. Instead of finding reasons to fall out of love, you found reasons to fall more in love with your best friend. Jacob always made sure that his dirty laundry was in the basket, or his wet towel after showering was always hanging up to dry. He never left a mess in the washroom after using it, and he always cleaned the shaving clippings off the washroom counter. If you made dinner, then Jacob insisted that you relax, and he does the dishes. Even if he cooked, Jacob still did the dishes because that’s the kind of person he was. You tried not to let the domestic vibes of the situation get to your head, but it was hard. It was hard not to pretend that you and Jacob weren’t a married couple. It was hard to pretend that this isn’t permanent. It was plain hard to be around Jacob at all without your heart thumping in your chest. You’ve been good in the past years hiding how you felt, but in the one month Jacob was living with you, it all went berserk. You were overthinking and overanalyzing everything. You only hoped that Jacob didn’t notice.

On a random morning, while you were eating breakfast before going to work, Jacob prompts, “She called me and told me she wants to talk.”

You lookup. “Okay?”

“What’s your opinion on it?”

“None? I mean, you guys need to talk and sort stuff out.”

“Like?” Jacob questions. You have a feeling he knows what you’re talking about but chooses to ignore it.

“Your living situation? Who’s going to pay all the final fees for the cancellations of the wedding? Returning all your wedding and engagement gifts? Stuff like that. Also, I think it’ll be a good way to gain closure, too.”

Jacob nods with a forlorn look in his eyes. “Yeah, closure.”

The topic is immediately dropped, and you both continue in awkward silence.

You hoped Jacob was able to talk to her and sort everything out that he needed to.

. . .

Jacob met her on neutral territory — a coffee shop. Jacob got there ten minutes early hoping his nerves would die down by the time she arrived. They didn’t. She arrived, and Jacob’s heart continued to beat out of his chest. He isn’t sure why. Despite concluding that he’s always loved you, he knows that he loved her, too. Despite harboring feelings for you, he still loved her.

“Hey,” Jacob says when she sits down.

“Hi,” she says back. She and Jacob both stare at each other. Were they supposed to jump right into things or engage in small talk first? “Should we just get to the point?”

“Yeah, I think that’s best.”

“Okay, um, I changed my mind, and I want the house.”

“What?” Jacob asks, shocked.

“I want the house because despite it also being your home, I was the one who did most of the decorating and stuff like that because you were on the road. I’m not blaming you for not doing any of it. I just think it’s fairer if you let me keep the house. I’ll buy your half from you and everything. I just want the house.”

Jacob looks at her, so he’s supposed to find a new place to live in now? Should he find a temporary living place, so he doesn’t have to stay with you? “Okay, that’s fine. I guess just give me a date that works for you, and we’ll head to the bank to sort all the stuff out, and I can move my stuff out.”

“I might have destroyed some of it out of anger, but okay.”

Jacob laughs. “Hate me that much?”

“It’s not you that I hate,” she replies calmly but also coldly.

“Who do you hate then?” Jacob asks, confused.

“Really? You don’t know? Maybe I should remind you of the argument we had when you left. Also, where are you staying? I called Elias a while back asking if you need any of your stuff, but he said you were staying somewhere else.”

Jacob doesn’t answer, and instead, he opts to stare at his mug. She takes his silence as a sign as to where Jacob’s staying.

“Oh my goodness, you’re staying with Yn,” she says angrily. “Did you buy her a bigger apartment, or are you staying in her tiny apartment? If you’re staying in her apartment, then that means either you’re sleeping in her bed and she’s on the couch, or you’re sleeping in her bed.”

Jacob doesn’t look up or meet her eyes.

“No, you’re sleeping in her bed. Of course, you are. You ran right to her, didn’t you? Have you slept with her yet? Have you completely forgotten about us? Me? Was I just a placeholder until that bitch finally came clean about what she felt.”

“Hey! Don’t call her that,” Jacob condemns. “Sure, yes, we’re sharing a bed, but I didn’t think I would have to find a new place to live. I thought it was only temporary. And yes, I ran right to her because she’s my best friend. Who else was I supposed to go to when my future wife cheats on me and ends our engagement?”

“Have you slept with her?” she whispers. She doesn’t know if she wants the answer, but she still needs to ask.

“No, I haven’t slept with her.”

“But you want to.”

Jacob snaps his head up. He doesn’t want to sleep with you. That thought has never crossed his mind. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I think that you’ve finally realized that you’ve always loved her. I think that you realized that she loves you and would do anything for you. I think you’ve realized that you wasted your time on me.”

“That’s only partially true. I think I’ve finally realized that I’ve always loved her, and I think I’ve realized that she loves me, too. However, I don’t think I’ve wasted my time with you. Despite it all, I did love you at one point, and I wouldn’t throw away our relationship.”

“Did? When did you stop?”

“When I found out you cheated on me.”

“So, you’ve loved me our entire relationship?” she asks with worry in her eyes.

He nods. “Yeah, and there will always be a part of me that will always love you. Do you still love me?”

Now, it’s her turn not to answer and just stare at her mug. Jacob doesn’t want to pry for any information. “I stopped loving you a while ago. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Why didn’t you break up with me then?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re a great person, so I thought I could fall back in love with you, but then I started noticing the way Yn looked at you and how she acted. I began watching your patterns around her, and I realized that it didn’t matter if I loved you or not. I realized that even if you loved me, you’d always love her more. So, I cheated on you to find a love that I craved.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry you felt the need to go to another place for the love I couldn’t give you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t love you in the way you wanted,” Jacob apologizes.

“I’m sorry for the hurt I put you through. For what it’s worth, though, I wouldn’t undo our relationship. I think that if I were to redo it, we wouldn’t have gotten this far. We wouldn’t have gotten to an engagement. Deep down, I think we both know that our relationship began to fall apart shortly before you proposed.”

Jacob thinks about it for a moment. Yeah, she was right. “Yeah, you’re right. Doesn’t mean, though, that I didn’t love you.”

“Yeah, same here.”

“If I may ask,” Jacob begins. “Are you with him? I mean, the guy you cheated on me with.”

“Um, yeah, we’re together. He’s been staying with me and stuff, but yes, we’re together.”

Jacob nods.

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not,” Jacob says. He wasn’t. He’s moved on from her, and now, he just wants her to be happy.

“Look, Jacob, I’m going to be honest with you, okay? Yn? She’s the one for you. Don’t waste your time staying in your head thinking about whether or not Yn feels the same. She’s loved you for too long. She deserves you to be honest with her, okay? Just tell her how you feel.”

“Okay,” he says. They ended up talking for another hour sorting out things and catching up. Despite breaking up, they both knew that the other would be there if needed. Jacob went back to your apartment with the closure he needed to move on. Now, he needed to figure out how to tell you how much he loved you.

. . .

Jacob moved out into a new home two months later. In those two months, you helped Jacob in any way you could. You helped him pack up his house and move into a storage unit. You helped him look for a new place to live and helped him move in. The first night in almost three months you spent alone, it felt weird. It felt weird to eat dinner alone even though there were some nights you ate alone anyway because he was at a game or on the road. It felt weird to go to sleep in an empty bed, and it felt weird to wake up to cold sheets. It was weird, and you hated it. You missed Jacob, and you wanted him to continue living with you. However, you wouldn’t give up the time you had with Jacob. It was some of the best three months of your friendship, and you’d do anything to go back to it.

Despite spending all that time together, you still didn’t know the real reason why Jacob ended his engagement. You wanted to know what was the reason because you could tell it was eating him up. Jacob has cried and gotten emotional a few times, but you knew he wasn’t fully healed. You knew there was still something eating him up, and you wanted nothing more than to know how to fix what was going on.

Six months after the broken engagement, the Flames season came to a saddening end. Jacob opted to have the Year-End Team Barbeque at his new house. When he approached the idea with you, you told him it was a great idea. It was great that he was moving on and continuing on with his life. He told you he wanted you there. You tried interjecting saying that you weren’t part of the team; however, he countered by saying that families were also invited. When you tried to argue you weren’t family, Jacob gave you a look that made your heart beat faster and told you he expected you to be at his house on the date of the barbeque.

You showed up at his doorstep with a plate of lemon squares and a bag full of nervousness. You weren’t sure why you were particularly nervous today. It was Jacob. Jacob. Your best friend. You shouldn’t have any reason to be nervous. None at all. So, why were you suddenly nervous?

You knocked on the door, and Jacob opened it. “You don’t have to knock, you know.”

You smile. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I made lemon squares.”

He takes them out of your hand and ushers you inside. You take off your shoes, and Jacob places the plate on the bench. He wraps you in a giant hug filled with the warmth and love that you missed from him. Despite him not living with you for quite some time, you still missed him and his warmth. You missed going to sleep next to him and waking up next to him. You missed having a cuddle buddy while you were sitting on your couch reading or watching TV. Mostly, though, you missed him. “Hi,” you whisper shyly. You aren’t sure why you’re so shy all of a sudden.

“Hi,” he whispers back just as shy. You both miss the knowing and curious looks Jacob’s teammates give you. How could you? You were both absorbed in each other so much that the entire world slipped away. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course,” you whisper into his chest. You aren’t sure if your words are audible because they’re muffled by his shirt. “Anywhere you want me to be, I’ll be there.”

Jacob pulls away and looks down at you. You meet his eyes and notice his look. He looks like he’s contemplating something serious. You can tell the inner monologue and gears in his head are spinning like crazy. What was he thinking? You wanted so badly to know what was going on in his head. Jacob must have decided whatever he was thinking was not important or against it because he shakes his head to himself and takes your hand. He leads you into the kitchen where everyone is with one hand in yours and the other holding the plate of lemon squares you made.

“Get yourself a drink and mingle, I’ll be out on the patio grilling. Come to me if you need anything, okay?” Jacob whispers into your ear. It sends shivers down your spine.

“Okay,” you whisper and head to join the other women. You’re going to need some alcohol in you to get through the day if Jacob was going to keep sending your senses into a spiral.

Jacob isn’t sure what he’s doing, but he knows it’s risky. He knows that one wrong, intimate move or action could tell you what he’s been trying to tell you for months now. When Jacob finally moved into his new home, everything clicked in his mind. Despite designing it exactly how he wanted, it didn’t feel like home. That is, it didn’t feel like home unless you were there visiting. You came two or three times a week when Jacob wasn’t on the road for dinner. Sometimes you brought takeout or you both cooked. It didn’t matter what you were both doing, though, because as long as you were next to him in his house, it felt like home.

It took him three days of living on his own for the first time in a long time to realize how he truly feels for you. It took him three days to know you were the one. It took him three days to know he loved you. Loves you. When he finally realized, Jacob stopped what he was doing. He was cooking dinner. He was making your favorite meal that he’s learned to love and to cook while he was staying with you. After him asking many, many times for you to teach him, you relented and taught him. Jacob had to turn off the stove and sit with it for a moment. He loved you? He loved you. He loves you? He loves you. He will always love you? He will always love you. He loves you, and he can’t take you not knowing anymore. He doesn’t want to rush into another relationship right away, but he also wants you by his side forever.

Jacob didn’t bring you to many team events while he was with her. Before her, he brought you to a few events with the Canucks, but you haven’t gone to many events in Calgary. You met the team and the WAGs, and Jacob thinks you’ve made some great friends amongst them all. Now, though, Jacob never wants to go to a team event where you’re not there. He wants to go to a team event, see you dressed so beautifully, and be his date. Jacob just wants you to be part of every aspect of his life.

“What’re you thinking about?” Mark asks Jacob out of nowhere. Jacob was standing at his grill making food; he was watching you play in the backyard with some of the children. Mark looks to where Jacob’s staring and knows instantly. “Ah, I see. So, did you tell her how you feel? Actually, how do you feel? That should be the first questioning.”

“I haven’t told her how I feel, but I love her,” Jacob answers and a giant smile graces his facial features. A smile that reaches his eyes and shows every smile line. A smile that he only got from talking about you.

“When will you tell her?”

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, be careful because the way you greeted her? That screamed, ‘I’m in love with you,’” Mark tells him.

“It did not!”

“It did, but if it makes you feel better, her actions did the same. She loves you, too.”

Jacob nods. “I’ll tell her soon because I don’t think I can go another day as just her friend."

"You've never been just yn's friend," Mark says.

As everyone gathered around the table in Jacob’s backyard for dinner, you were seated right next to him. As the meal went on, Jacob’s chair got closer and closer to yours. After the meal was finished, you insisted on helping to clean up, but some of the other players and WAGs insisted that you and Jacob stay at the table. As the conversation continued, you began to lean closer and closer to Jacob. So close to the point where your shoulder was right up against his chest, and his arm was around your shoulder. You were as close as physically possible without sharing a chair. Jacob began rubbing patterns on your shoulder, and it sent shivers down your spine. Jacob noticed. He whispered into your ear asking if you wanted a sweater. You told him no, but he still insisted on getting you a sweater, so Jacob got up and grabbed a sweater for you as your conversation continued with Elias, Johnny, Noah, and Annica.

“So, you and Jacob are getting close again,” Noah points out suggestively.

“I mean, we’ve always been close, so I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at,” you reply. You think you understood what Noah was pointing at, but you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.

“Now that he’s single, are you going to make your move?” Elias eggs on.

You stare at them, and the heat drains from your face. “What?”

“I mean, you’re in love with him, and it’s obvious he’s in love with you, too,” Annica replies. “You should tell him how you feel.”

“No, he doesn’t love me like that.”

“Then explain how touchy and lovey he’s been with you. He was never like that with you before,” Johnny points out, and the rest of the group nod in agreement.

“Right, because he had a girlfriend, a fiance.”

“Sure, but he doesn’t have either of those right now, and he’s acting like a madman in love,” Noah says.

“Look, I know your heart has been broken before because of Jacob’s past relationships, so you’re allowed to be scared, but look at this as an opportunity,” Annica says to you sincerely. She leans in closer to you and places a hand comfortingly on yours. “Don’t go too long without telling him because, at the end of the day, Jacob loves you. He does, and he feels the same way. You’re allowed to be scared and nervous, but don’t let that stop you from the great love you can have with him. Don’t let your fears and nervousness stop you from getting the love that you deserve, okay?”

You nod. Out of all the people you’ve talked to, Annica somehow summed it all up perfectly. She seemed to know exactly what was going on in your head and why you were so hesitant to say anything, even now.

“Worse comes to worst, you, me, and Matthew can be a throuple,” Noah jokes, trying to ease the tension. This brings out a giant laugh from the group. It felt good to laugh with your friends again.

Jacob was walking out from his house with a hoodie in tow when he heard your loud laughter in the distance. He looks up to see you laughing along with Noah, Elias, Annica, and Johnny. He smiles at the thought of knowing that you’re happy and in a good mood. That’s all he wants. He wants you to be happy and in a good mood.

His emotion sours though when he sees you giggling along to something Noah says. He knows he’s reading into it too much, but he’s jealous. He’s jealous that Noah is the one who has you giggling. He’s jealous that Noah and Annica and Elias and Johnny get to be on the receiving end of your infectious laugh. He wants to be sitting right there with you and hearing your laugh.

“What are you staring so intently at?” Matthew asks out of nowhere. Where did he come from? Jacob doesn’t answer but continues to watch you interact with his and your friends. “You know Noah isn’t making a move on your girl, right?”

“She’s not my girl,” Jacob scowls. “Yet.”

Jacob wants you to be his girl so bad that he’s reading into a platonic conversation as something more.

“Just tell her. You know, go tell her right now. The entire team will be so happy that you finally figured shit out and are together.”

“I’m going to give her this hoodie, so she’s not cold,” Jacob deflects. He didn’t want to tell you in a public place. He didn’t want you to be pressured into telling him you felt the same. He wanted you to tell him you loved him out of your own free will and not influenced by added stares.

Jacob sits down in the chair next to you and hands you the hoodie without saying anything. He stays in his seat and doesn’t move to hold you close like he was before. You take the hoodie he offered you and put it on. Jacob’s heart begins to beat rapidly as he sees you wearing his clothes. When you put the hoodie on comfortably, you lean over to Jacob and place a soft kiss on his cheek. You whisper a thank you into his ear before sitting back down in your chair. Jacob instantly knows that he has nothing to worry about because you were it for him, and he was it for you. Jacob’s scowl goes away, and he wraps an arm around your shoulder. It didn’t matter who you smiled at or laughed at, as long as you were happy, then Jacob was happy.

You were the last one at Jacob’s that night. You helped him with the final cleaning up and sorting out. You plopped on his couch and let out a giant huff of air dramatically.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you tell Jacob as he sits down next to you.

“Of course,” he responds, but he has a lost look in his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

He looks at you. “Yeah, of course, why?”

“You just have a weird look in your eyes. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular, just how different my life is right now than I thought it would be,” Jacob answers. He hopes you’ll ask what’s changed because he thinks he’s finally going to tell you. He’s begging you to ask, so he can tell you that who he sees spending the rest of his life with has changed.

“Oh yeah? What’s changed?”

“A bunch of things. Like, my house, who I play for, my relationship status, who I want to spend the rest of my life with,” Jacob answers. You nod. You nodded? You nod! That’s it? Do you not have anything to say to Jacob saying the last part? He needs to emphasize it more, he guesses. “Especially the last part.”

“Oh yeah, how much has it changed?” you ask and turn to face him.

“Well, about a year ago, I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life with her, but now, I want to spend the rest of my life with someone else,” Jacob answers.

Your heartbeat quickens. Was this him telling you he’s found someone else or is this finally the confessions about the feelings you both have for each other? “Who is this someone else?” you whisper ask.

Jacob’s heart is beating so fast that it sounds like the rhythm of a dance song. He’s finally going to tell her. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Despite everyone’s insistence that you feel the same way, Jacob is still nervous that you don’t feel the same way.

“Tell me about her?” you whisper.

“Gladly,” Jacob says. “She happens to be my best friend for the past eight years.”

You snap your head up when you hear Jacob’s words. “What?”

Oh no, you don’t feel the same way. You’re going to turn him down, and Jacob ruined the most important relationship in his life. You realize that your response was a bit terser than you meant. You were shocked. Despite everyone telling you Jacob felt the same way, it was still shocking to hear. You hoped your response didn’t force him to shut down and not continue what he was saying. Jacob moves closer to you on his couch and puts his forehead on yours. It’s now or never.

Your forehead felt warm against Jacob’s, and it was making him go crazy. “Yn, I’m in love with you. It took me eight long years to realize it, but I’m in love with you. I think I always was, but I’ve realized it over the past few months.” Please, let her feel the same way.

You smile. Jacob loves you? He’s in love with you? You place your hands on his cheeks and bring his face to yours and kiss him. You place a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away slowly. “I’m in love with you, too.”

You love him, too? You love him! “I love you, Yn.”

“I love you, too, Jacob,” you say with a giggle. Jacob grabs you and sets you on his lap. You wrap your arms around him and lean in for another kiss.

When Jacob pulls away, you have a giant smile on your face, and your lips are sensitive from the kisses.

“I’m sorry,” Jacob says to you.

“You have to stop apologizing for things you haven’t done,” you tell him.

“I’m sorry for the heartbreak I caused you. I’m sorry you were there for each step of the other relationship I had. I’m sorry I never realized that I was hurting you,” Jacob says ignoring your comment.

“Oh. I’m not upset at you for any of that.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry.”

“How about, moving forward, the past is in the past, okay?” you suggest.

Jacob smiles. “So there’s a future? A moving forward?”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” you tell him with a kiss. Sure, it took Jacob a while to realize how he felt, but you were able to grow into a person who was ready to spend the rest of your life with this man. It took some time, but it was all worth it now.

. . .

Three Years Later

Jacob twirls you around on the dance floor with a giant smile on his face. It was the last dance of your wedding night. The past three years have been filled with laughter, happiness, and love. There were some difficult moments, but, at the end of the day, the love you both have for each other beat every difficulty faced.

You were dancing the last dance of the night with all your guests making a circle for the two of you on the dance floor. They were using their phones’ flashlights to illuminate you both.

As you both continued to dance to your second first dance song choice, Jacob glances around the room at the guests. Jacob sees your parents holding each other as they watch their daughter dancing with the love of her life. He sees his mother looking at you and Jacob knowing that it was a long time coming but worth it. He sees Elias, Noah, Matthew, and some of his other teammates and friends smiling and giving him a thumbs up. He sees Mark giving him a nod. Without his captain’s help, Jacob isn’t sure you’d be here today. Lastly, before putting his eyes on you, he sees her. He sees the woman he was supposed to marry. She gives him a curt nod and leans her head on her new husband’s shoulder and cradles her swollen, pregnant belly. Jacob isn’t sure what happened between you both, but he knows that you both went to brunch before the wedding and cleared the air. You both talked and cleared up things. Many thought it was weird that Jacob’s ex-fiance was invited to the wedding, but if it weren’t for her, you and Jacob wouldn’t be together. She and Jacob needed that relationship to realize who they truly wanted to be with. They needed the relationship to help them realize the lives they truly wanted to lead.

Jacob, lastly, lays his eyes on you, his new wife, and smiles.

“What are you thinking about so intently?” you ask with your beautiful smile gracing your lips.

“Nothing,” Jacob says and places a kiss on your lips.

“I don’t believe that,” you tease.

“I’m just thinking about how we got here,” Jacob says. The previous relationship Jacob was in was no longer an awkward topic. You were both able to mention it now and then without an awkward silence filling the room. Jacob knew that if he didn’t love her, then he wouldn’t have realized how much he loves you. Without her, Jacob wouldn’t be dancing with his new wife.

“Oh yeah? And what about it?”

Jacob smiles and holds you tighter. “Just how it was you all along.”

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[mrsgiovanna]

Evanesce (Giorno Giovanna x Ghost!Fem! Reader)

This was quite a specific request from a nonnie mouse🥺 . This is a bit angsty, I hope I was able to do your request justice my sweet, 💖💕❤️🐞

TW: mentions of death, part 5 spoilers

Word count: 2.1k

The gentle, crisp spring breeze softly rustled the leaves of the tree overhead, dislodging a few, which fell about the handsome young man occupying the bench you had sat on daily for the past 6 months. You weren’t upset or anything like that, you were just a creature of habit and that spot provided the best vantage point of your surroundings.

“Excuse me, are you saving this seat for anyone?” The blonde boy briefly looked up at you, shook his head sharply and returned to what he was reading as you took a seat on the other side of the bench, leaving a respectable distance between the two of you. He furrowed his well-defined brows at the page he was currently perusing and finally resigned, snapping his book shut in one swift motion.

“What are you reading? Well were reading…” he scanned your face pensively before answering.

“Catch 22…”

“Ah, Joseph Heller, I’m familiar,”

“Have you read it?

“No… I haven’t got around to it,” you admit shyly.

“you should, it’s quite brilliant actually,”

“Hmm, damned if you do, damned if you don’t… it’s a metaphor for life really, if you think about it,” you knew that feeling all too well, but that was a story for another day. In the time you had spent there you had learned the young man’s name was Giorno Giovanna, and he when he wasn’t a “freelance cab driver” he went to school a few streets away. You both chatted for what felt like a few moments, but in actuality, was the rest of the afternoon. Alerted by the changing colors of the sky as the day had started turning to dusk he had excused himself to make it back to his dorm before dinner. Watching him walk away, you sat there and wondered how different things might have been had you met him earlier.

Giorno was preoccupied with his thoughts too, wondering where you had come from and why he hadn’t seen you before… he had been to that park enough times, and if you frequented it as much as you claimed to have done so, surely he would have come across you before…

“Giorno, a few of us are going to work on the science project in the rec area after dinner, do you want to join?”

“Oh, Lorenzo, thanks for the offer, but I really need to finish this report tonight, sorry,”

“No sweat, catchya later,” the sprightly boy left Giorno to his own devices pondering silently over the events of the day.

Over the next few weeks, Giorno regularly visited the spot in the hopes of running into you, which he did, and slowly you both had learned so much about each other. Favorite foods, music, books, shows… hopes and aspirations… there was never a dull moment when you were around each other, and he had somehow enabled you to find your smile again, while you were certain you had done the same for him. He grew closer to you, connecting on a different level almost… he found himself wanting to spend more time with you than he could afford to, but your company was just too intoxicating. Savoring each smile, laugh and shy sideward glance, you were altogether too lovely, and too unaware of the effect you had on him. As much as you were unaware of his growing affections, so too was he unaware of yours. Falling in love with his wry smile when he teased you over the silly anecdotes you thought up, and the way in which the wind made his lovely, golden hair dance about in the sunshine, your heart both leapt and stung, lamenting the inopportune timing at which you had encountered your possible savior, but still being thankful that you could experience something as pure as this, nonetheless.

As much as you were happy, you remained unfulfilled, having such a specific set of circumstances during which you could interact with Giorno. In the beginning it was much easier, catching him in his quieter moments, but now, those moments barely ever occurred, each time you made a move to get closer to him, your plans were thwarted by his new groups of friends… allies? Watching him rapidly traversing Italy, cheating death at every turn, despite your yearning, you hoped with everything you had that you would not encounter him in your space between the two realms. You weren’t sure what kind of force kept you bound to earth but you knew the reason was because you had yet to truly experience love before your untimely passing. You found it altogether ridiculous and unfair, so many others with regrets much more intense than your own had encountered and passed you as they were finally able to cross over, so why were you still here?

You had wanted to tell him the truth of your semi-existence on so many occasions, but his sweet smile had forced you keep up the pretense, enjoying for once, the feeling of being a teenager with a crush, whether it was something more than that, you were unable to tell. When you hadn’t seen him for a few afternoons, you decided you needed to look for him, remembering where he had gone to school, you saw him in what looked like the throes of a fight near a white haired man, and something that looked nothing like anything you’ve seen before… was it a wraith? A monster? It seemed like the two men also commanded such apparitions, appearing and disappearing, it seemed, according to their will. Suddenly, you felt like the normal one in this scenario, which was rare for you. You knew that what he was going through was bigger than the both of you, and thus began your journey with them, keeping your distance and trying to provide support from your position in the shadows. One by one, you saw his comrades fall, each time grieving with him. When everything was finally over, you resolved to approach him directly, waiting for an opportune moment in between his duties. For now, though, you frequently visited the spot that held so many happy memories for you, knowing what you needed to do.

During his eight-day mission, in his quieter moments, Giorno had found his thoughts drifting back to you. He knew that you probably were there, at the usual spot, looking for him. he wished he could tell you about what he was doing, but the stakes were too high, there was too much to lose and not enough time to work with, so he made up his mind to find you once everything was over, but for now, he was on a mission that he could not back down from. There were moments during which he could have sworn he saw your silhouette from the corner of eye, smelled the pleasant scent he had come to associate you with, but those moments could not be dwelled on with how much was left to do and the unyielding assault from Passione’s elite.

With the battle being won, and his precious allies laid to rest in the manner they deserved, Giorno’s thoughts returned to you once more. Deciding he had avoided the place enough, he went the rendezvous spot, without any of his guards. He was confident in the ability of his stand to protect him from danger, the requiem arrow safely ensconced in his breast pocket if the need arises for him to use it. Seeing you perched under the tree, you cut a forlorn figure.

“(y/n) …”

“Giorno… oh gosh! I didn’t expect to see you here today…” you were taken aback by the sight of him, looking completely different in his black suit, embodying an entirely unapproachable, otherworldly beauty, but somehow the energy he radiated still felt warm and familiar.

“You’re probably wondering where I’ve been all this time… I’ll explain everything,” he intended to take your hand in his, but you flinched, deepening the grimace on his face.

“Cara, I’m sorry, I know you must be upset with me, as you should be, but if you allow me a chance to explain, you would understand, please…”

“It’s okay Gio… I know everything… please, sit down, there’s something I have to tell you,” with confusion replacing his pained grimace, Giorno sat down and looked at you expectantly.

“I know about everything that happened to you Gio, I was right there. The reason I recoiled from your touch, or never took you up on a coffee date is because I no longer exist in this world… my physical body has already perished Giorno,”

“April fools has already passed (y/n) and Halloween is only in October… either way, it’s still a terrible joke, not funny at all,” Giorno tried in vain to conceal his irritation.

“It’s not a joke Giorno, have you ever wondered why the area becomes deserted when we’re interacting? How I can disappear and reappear in the blink of an eye? I’m already dead… I’ll prove it to you,” in an instant, you had disappeared and the people had magically appeared in the distance. With his eyes locked on those, he suddenly saw them vanish again as you appeared.

“I don’t understand… where are we then?”

“This is the dimension I exist in, half way between the two realms. My soul refuses to pass over, being bound by a regret,”

“What regret? If you’ve been with me this entire time, surely you know my ability, and of the other ghost that inhabits the turtle… there must be something we can do,”

The desperation in his voice hurt you, you knew that he meant well, but you couldn’t allow him to live like this, being bound to someone who didn’t really exist. In the time you had observed him fighting for his life and for those around him you realized that regardless of how much you both would try, nothing would materialize from these interactions, so you made the painful decision to not pursue this any further, regardless of how much it may hurt you both.

“Face it Gio, there’s no way that anything can happen here, and hanging on to this is just going to hurt the both of us…”

“Don’t say it…”

“Giorno, this is going to be the last…”

“Please, (y/n), don’t say it. I already know… it’s just like me though… the first girl I fall in love with turns out to be a ghost… yet another one of my bizarre escapades… (y/n) … you’re glowing,”

You looked down at your hands and body, seeing a warm cerise glow taking over your body, you felt odd, -weightless- as if you would float away… and then you realized what Giorno had said to you. He loved you, actually loved you, and this was your moment of ascension. After all these months, finally, you would get your repose.

“I think it’s time, you’ve given me something precious, something I can’t even begin to return. I’m finally able to rest because of you…”

“Falling in love hey? Usually a declaration like this is supposed to awaken the princess, not send her away…” he said dejectedly, knowing well enough from recent events, that a spirit cannot remain longer than intended regardless of how much you willed it to.

Reaching up to try and cup his cheek as your image grew ever fainter, “Giorno, these past few weeks have allowed me to feel things in death that I couldn’t have even imagined when I was alive. You’re the reason I can finally rest, and I’ll always be thankful to you, I know you’ll be happy and will love again, all your dreams will be realized, I love you Gio,”

With a sorrowful smile, he watched you fading away from his sight, a warm gentle breeze swirling the loosened leaves around him, and just like that you were gone. Being unable to speak after what happened, he just sat for a while to gather his thoughts before returning to his life as the don of Passione.

It has been a few years since your final encounter with Giorno just before your ascension. Over the years you still watched him, this time from your vantage point above him as opposed to lurking beside him. Your spirit was at ease as he grew from strength to strength, realizing his dream, with a resolve that only he possessed. You watched as he matured, confidence growing in leaps and bounds… as he fell in love- again- just like you promised he would. She was perfect for him, the ray of sunshine he needed to compliment his golden soul. You smiled knowingly, the young man whose pure feelings granted respite to your soul, would be just fine, and even though it may have felt as if you had faded away on that fateful day, the memories of you will always live on through him, adding gravity to your existence- ironically, his memories of the beautiful ghost who had captivated him, would serve as evidence that you had lived…

[startanewdream]

A Figment of Your Imagination

Summary:  After fighting with Lupin in Grimmauld Place, Harry wondered if his father would have approved what he had said to Lupin. Fortunately, James comes to give Remus his piece of mind. Set during Deathly Hallows.

Read on AO3 or below:

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There was a time Remus thought he’d always fear the night the most, especially a full moon night. That was in those dark years, when his friends were dead, and he believed the only one alive was a traitor.

Now, however, when he looks at the sunset, at all those vibrant colours in the horizon, he knows that this is the time of day he fears the most. That hurts the most.

Remus averts his eyes, waiting for the sun to finally set; he prefers the stars, the dark sky, when the colour is safe. He is not proud of himself, but he knows, as Harry’s voice still ringing in his ears doesn’t let him forget, he is a coward.

After a few minutes he looks up, but the sky has not changed. All those vibrant colours are still there, orange and pink and purple and blue and if he closes his eyes he can still remember that last day of their honeymoon, when he and Dora had spent their last peaceful moment together side by side on that cliff in Scotland, watching the sunset, and he thought everything was perfect in that moment. He can still remember the warmth of her body pressed against his, her scent, their happiness, and the way her hair kept changing colours to match the colours of the sky.

But Remus does not close his eyes, fear and shame and longing bursting in his chest. Still, as time passes, the sky does not change.

‘Weird, huh?’, asks a voice besides him and, when he turns, he is surprised to see Harry – shouldn’t he be on Grimmauld Place? It is dangerous for him to be out –

But it’s not really Harry, even though he sounds the same and most of the details are like a carbon-copy. No, the person besides him has hazel eyes, looks slightly older than seventeen-years-old Harry and has a carefreeness that Harry never had – the same one Remus always envied on him, always wanted to duplicate.

‘Ideal conditions for flying, wouldn’t you say?’, James says brightly, ignoring the fact that he has been dead for the last sixteen years.

‘James’, Remus says shortly, and James turns to him with the same easy smile he gave Remus all those years ago, when they first became friends.

‘Remus’, he says, in the same voice.

For a moment Remus pauses, trying to understand what’s happening. Then Remus looks from the sky, still unchanging, to the very corporeal James Potter, who waits with more patience than Remus remembers of him ever having when alive.

‘I am dreaming’, he realizes.

‘Or maybe the madness within is finally becoming apparent’, James suggests grinning.

‘No, I’ve been mad for a while. But you are not really – I mean –‘

‘I am just a figment of your imagination’, James says playfully.

‘I think this is the first time I’ve dreamed of you – of something that is not a memory, at least’.

‘And why is that, now?’

‘I don’t know’.

‘I think you do, Moony’, James says gently, and Remus remembers of him as Head Boy, when he was helping a younger student to find a path to the classroom, how he seemed so mature back then. ‘You were always the clever one’.

Remus disagrees. James and Sirius had been the brightest in their year, best in almost every class, loved by the professors. Remus only studied a lot, trying to prove to himself – and to everyone – that he could be a good student, that he could earn Dumbledore’s trust in him.

Remus had always worked in earning the trust and love people had given him, even though he always felt there was not enough work that he could do to repay the friends he had.

‘You never needed, you know’, James adds. ‘To prove yourself. We were glad to be your friend as much as we were glad that you were our friend. You were worthy, always has been’.

‘You sound like Harry’, Remus says, and now there is a Golden Snitch flying in the air, that James catches easily as his son could. ‘Or maybe he sounds like you’.

‘I think he sounds like Lily’, James ponders. ‘I wasn’t nearly as thoughtful as Harry is’.

‘You would be proud of him’.

‘Oh, I am’, James says, eyes glinting. ‘I think parents are always proud of their son, no matter what’.

It is like a hand suddenly gripes Remus’ heart and he lowers his eyes. They are finally approaching the reason he is dreaming of James Potter and he doesn’t know how to react. Harry’s words ring in his ear more forcefully than before.

‘Her child is better without me’, Remus whispers.

‘Yours’, James scolds him lightly. ‘I am pretty sure it was not an immaculate conception’.

Even through the shame, Remus can’t help but smile.

‘That was what Lily said’, he remembers. ‘When you told us she was having a child’.

‘“It’s our child, James, it wasn’t an immaculate conception”’, James quotes, and there is a warmth on his voice. ‘She liked to remind me of that when Harry was crying in the middle of the night. “It’s your fault too, James”, she would say, but I never really complained. I liked to watch him sleep. It was peaceful’. James pauses, and Remus feels his eyes on him, but he doesn’t turn. ‘Even with everything that happened, I was happy’.

‘No’, Remus interrupts him. ‘It is not the same, our situations are –‘

‘My son was hunted even before he was born’, James countered.

‘But that was not your fault, was it?’

James sighs.

‘I don’t know. When we were locked on Godric’s Hollow, when everything was just too much, I’d thought that maybe I should’ve done things differently. Maybe I should not have fought so hard in the war, not join the Order, not married Lily’.

Remus blinks and turns around to look at James. There is a sad expression on his face that Remus has seen only on a few occasions.

‘No. That would not be you. You were too much honourable and brave –‘

‘I was reckless’, James notes. ‘I admired your self-control sometimes, you know? You were the only one of us that could really think before you did anything’.

‘I admired how you could jump in front of any danger’, Remus says bewilderedly. ‘I was always trying to be just like you and Sirius’.

‘You never needed to be like us. We may have influenced you a bit, give you the final push, but you were brave and bold too’.

‘My worst decisions were of when I was careless’, Remus whispers. ‘Letting you become animagus, not explaining my missions for the Order – that’s why you lost your faith in me, wasn’t it? -, and now, what I’ve done with –‘

‘You should have told us about your missions’, James says, interrupting him. ‘But other than that, every time you let your heart decide, more than any fear, you were happy’.

‘It was dangerous –‘

‘Life is dangerous. But living is the only way we can reach happiness also’. James takes a deep breath and looks at Remus with an expression that is the same as the one Harry had in their last meeting. Disappointment. ‘What are you doing, Remus?’

‘The only thing I can do’, Remus whispers. ‘I am only a risk for them –‘

‘You are at war, everything is unsafe.

‘You cannot understand –‘

‘Can’t I?’, James looks annoyed. ‘Lily was muggleborn, should have I kept her away from Harry?’

‘No, of course not –‘

‘Or maybe I should have joined the Death Eaters?’

‘No, that’s not what –‘

‘All those things would not have helped. The only thing I’d have achieved was giving Harry a reason to be ashamed of me’. James pauses and looks at the Golden Snitch in his hand. ‘I wasn’t a perfect man, but I tried to become the best man I could be. The man who my friends, my wife, my parents, thought I could be. If things were differently, if we had – I mean, I don’t know if I would have been a good father to Harry, but you can be damn sure he would have known he was loved every day’.

‘Harry knows. Your love for him is his Patronus, did you know?’

James smiles for a moment, then sighs.

‘And why are you forbidding your son of knowing this kind of feeling? Doesn’t he deserve your love?’

Remus raises his eyebrows, suddenly angry.

‘Of course he deserves to be loved. That’s why I am –‘

‘That’s why you are leaving your pregnant wife to her own? To bear your child and raise him on her own?’

‘I am thinking in the best for her – for them –‘.

‘No, you are thinking about yourself’, James says quietly. ‘In your guilt – and the worst part is that you feel guilty of being happy, you are scared of feeling loved’. When Remus tries to disagree, James shakes his head. ‘ “Happier than you have been all your life”, that’s how you felt when you found out she was in love with you, wasn’t it?’

‘How do you –‘

James pointed to himself.

‘Figment of your imagination, remember? I know what you know, and I know that you love Tonks.  I know that you were happy with us, Remus, but it was not the same as when you were with Tonks. I understand it. Being a Marauder, our nights of full moon, your friendship, all of this meant the world for me. But my love for Lily, my feelings for her, for the family we were creating – it is different’. He looks over the horizon. ‘I know that you can’t see the sunset ever since you left her because it makes you miss her so much that you don’t think you will survive not going back to her and plead for her to accept you back’.

‘She won’t’, Remus says unhappily. ‘She told me if I left her, I should not get back’.

‘I am not saying it will be easy’, James ponders. ‘But then again, when is life easy?’

‘She doesn’t want me anymore’.

‘I’m not in her mind, so I don’t know what she feels, but this is what I do know: that woman is one of the bravest person I’ve ever seen and she is generous and good and I really believe she loves you truly. But you broke her trust and that’s what you will need to repair, if you decide to. But if things doesn’t turn this way… She would not let you out of the life of your child, but you must decide, Remus. Whether you are in, or you are out, you can’t be in doubt forever’.

‘I –‘, Remus falters, but he knows what he’s been feeling for the last days. ‘I want so much to be in their lives that I – it is so selfish – but I love them, James, I really do. I’ve been in love with Dora for so long now that it feels like I’ve loved her all my life; I don’t remember how it was not being in love with her, not listening to her laugh, not feeling like her smile can lit up any room. And our child – it makes me terrified – how can I love so much someone I’ve never met before –‘

‘It is because you are his father’, James says gently. ‘But your child will never know he is loved by you unless you are there for him, for as long as you can. Dora won’t know also unless you are there to tell her, every day of your life’.

And then James looks at the horizon, giving time for Remus to take a deep breath and to dry his eyes.

‘When did you become so smart?’, he asks, with a brave smile. James laughs.

‘I told you, I am just in your mind. That means you already know all these things I’m telling you’.

‘Some of it was Harry’s advice’.

‘Harry knows how is like to grow up missing your father’. James sighs. ‘He is anxious for arguing with you, you know. Worried if I would approve what he said to you’.

‘He was harsh’, Remus says. ‘But he was right’.

‘Tell him that when you can. And if you remember when you wake up – tell Harry I agree with him. Parents shouldn’t leave their kids unless they have to’.

Remus nods.

‘He is the best parts of you and Lily’.

‘He is’, James agrees brightly. ‘Same as Teddy will be of you and Tonks’.

‘Teddy?’

‘Ops’, James looks guilty and rises, just as the sky suddenly changes colours. ‘Our time is up. I think you will be waking up in a few minutes’.

‘Oh’, Remus feels the sadness creeping over him, the same longing he felt on the last sixteen years when he thinks of James Potter. ‘Thank you, Prongs’,

‘Anytime, Moony. It is nice to be the one giving you sense for once’.

Remus smiles, remembering of being accused, a lifetime ago, of being the only reasonable person in their group. As the sun sets, and James starts fading with the light, a thought comes to Remus’ mind suddenly.

‘James – you told me how Harry is feeling. If you are in my mind, just a figment of my imagination, how can you know –‘

The grin in James’ face is the same one he had during their pranks in school, the same one he gave Remus when he first informed him they would become animagus for him.

‘A Marauder never tells, Moony’.

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If you enjoyed it, I have also another story set in this “Dreamverse” called Chasing Dreams, featuring James and Ginny having a father/daughter-in-law moment :)

[blissfulsun]

3rd installation of the lessons in love series, written for and with my angel Nics in mind because it’s my best frenssss bday!!! I love you so much💖@vlobsessed

word count: 2,311

A masterpiece in the making // Jeff Wittek

‘You’ve been quiet...’ 

It’s a simple observation made by Jeff, his fingers intertwined in your own as he leads the way and you follow. 

The fact you look so much like a couple right now is not lost on you, hands clasped tightly together and his jacket adorning your frame. 

An older lady even smiles as she walks past you two, it’s the fondness in his eyes that’s corresponding your own which makes her compliment how lovely of a couple you make. 

He’s right, you’ve been quiet since then, far too focused on the hammering in your chest and whether Jeff can hear it. 

If not that, then he can definitely feel just how clammy your palm has become. 

‘Angel?’ there’s humour in his tone, underlying concern that dances in his eye when you finally look up at him just as he pulls your clasped hand up and lays a feather light kiss to the rings adorning each finger. 

‘Sorry, ‘m just hungry’ it’s half a lie, since your stomach does grumble following the confession. 

Jeff knows there’s more to it, but he also knows how you operate, will tell him what’s on your mind when you’re ready. 

Besides, his primary concern right now is to feed you before you get grumpy, a look consisting of a permanent pout and furrowed brows that he secretly loves. 

‘What my girl wants she gets’ You soften, staring up at him with uncontrollable wonder but Jeff just misses it, already looking around the street for a place you might like. 

You end up in a quiet coffee shop, quaint and homely despite it’s location in the city, yourself taking a seat after Jeff has promised he already knows what you want as he goes to order. 

He sits close in the corner booth, your thighs touching and one of his arms around your shoulders while the other pushes another dose of caffeine your way. 

‘Is it-’ You begin to ask. ‘oat milk? Course, told you I know exactly what you like baby.’ 

He feels smug in the way his words seem to make you frazzled, teeth nipping at your bottom lip which makes his heart lodge itself in his throat in return, accidental payback. 

Because you are, frazzled that is, it’s a simple detail: knowing how you like your coffee or that you always forget to bring a jacket wherever you go. 

It’s the choosing to remember that keeps you in your own head so much on this day, Jeff’s choice to take notice of your habits, and you’re not even sure why it feels so different now, why it seems to have such an earth shattering effect on your thought process but it does. 

It feels good to be known without asking, you don’t remember the last time you’ve let someone close enough to even have the opportunity. 

Not like this, with his feet kicking against yours under the table as Jeff retells a story from a barbershop shoot you missed earlier that week, his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of your neck. 

Hours pass like this and you never really notice, afternoon slipping away without a care in the world, your usual habit of glancing at the clock forgotten in favour of looking at him, face animated in the storytelling, eyes reflecting the sunlight bouncing from the windows as strangers come and go but you don’t want to look away and miss a single thing. 

Has he always held your full attention like that? Hours turned to days spent in each other’s company, with your friends crowded around you but no one else truly in your sight. 

‘We should head back to the car if we wanna make our booking in time’ Jeff finally says, bursting the little bubble that’s somehow become your favourite spot in a couple of hours. 

You nod, standing up to follow him outside after thanking the barista in passing, hands once again intertwined. 

Maybe, just maybe your mind has been playing trick on you and there’s nothing different in the way Jeff glances down at you while you roam the streets, there’s nothing unusual about the comfort of his frame towering so closer over yours, or the way he opens the passenger door for you and lands his hand on the top of your thigh as he drives. 

It’s nothing more than two friends pushing boundaries in the name of your forsaken assignment. 

But then he’s smiling over at you, wind blowing his growing hair underneath the cap and cheeks full with bubbling laughter and you think, god, I love you, almost whisper it across the console when you’re sure the music playing is far too loud for him to ever hear it. 

Yeah, it’s definitely you that’s falling, simultaneously for your best friend and apart.

The day continues on, as if you haven’t had an epiphany that’s shaken you to the core. 

Jeff put the truck in park, runs around to your side of the car to open your door and reaches for your hand. 

You fight the urge to shiver when your fingers intertwine. 

‘You ready baby?’ He asks, dimples on show and brown eyes lit with underlying excitement at the prospect of the next part of your evening. 

‘I would be if you finally told me what it is exactly that we’re doing’ you whine, lips forming into a playful pout that Jeff mocks with his own before letting your hand go in favour of throwing his arm around your shoulder to pull you tight into side. 

He comes clean with his lips pressed against your forehead, a half peck accompanied by an instruction ‘We’re just around the corner, you’ll see’ Once you do, the excitement surges through you. 

‘The Broad?’ Jeff observes carefully, fondness sparking in his heart at how easily your expression brightens at the sight. 

Deep inside, he’s already sure you’re bound to be the most angelic work of art he’ll see tonight, a masterpiece of freckles, scars and booming laughter all wrapped up in the best girl he’s ever had. 

Jeff coughs, hand flying to rub at the back of his neck as he nods in answer to your question. 

‘I got us tickets to that light exhibit you wanted t-’ Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets as you interrupt. 

‘Kusama? I thought they were sold out’ your attempts at getting tickets proving futile in months passed. 

You watch the man shrug, expression a mixture between sheepish and smug, ‘I have my ways doll.’ 

The only thing left to do is leap into his awaiting arms, you whisper a gentle thank you with your head furrowed into his neck, lips pressed against the skin there momentarily, the touch is so feather light Jeff’s left wondering if it ever really happened as you pull away only to grab his hand and head inside with a new found bounce to your step.  

He’s right. The mirror rooms are beautiful, each installation of light stretching on in its endless path. 

Your eyes brightened by colour in wonder, each reflecting in the smile that shows your teeth and dimples as Jeff takes pictures and poses accordingly at your request. 

He listens to your explanations , every single thought, hangs on to every word as it leaves your pretty lips.

I could stay here forever. The thought presents itself through an exhale in your mouth, eyes travelling around the final room to land on the brunet that’s asking one of the other visitors to take a picture of you guys. Jeff returns with a sweet older lady in tow. 

‘C’mere doll’ he finds himself behind you, arm wrapped around your waist and palm splayed across your stomach, you smile, first at the lady and then again in preparation for the picture when the same hand turns your frame around and closer in his clasp, Jeff’s face leaning down. 

The flash goes off. He doesn’t kiss you, merely hovers with his forehead pressed against your own, but each of your erratic breaths makes the cupid bow of your upper lip graze the tip of his own. 

‘You two make a lovely couple, it’s sweet to see two young people so in love’ the older lady interrupts the storm brewing in your heart. 

The two of you reluctantly pull away, each reeling at the almost that hangs in the air as Jeff clears his throat and takes his phone back. 

We do..I am, you admit to yourself, gaze following the man that’s somehow the brightest beacon of light to your pacified mind. 

You’re surrounded by art, sculptures and reflections of beauty but there’s only one masterpiece worth observing in wonder for eternity if you get the chance. 

Unknowingly to you, Jeff’s heart is settling in his rib cage with the same realisation. What now? 

Something changes. Shifts as you exit the art gallery to be met with darkness of the night and sidewalks illuminated by streetlights. 

Jeff’s at ease, movements intentional as his hand slips into your own. 

You lift the intertwined fingers up to kiss his knuckles, pretending the blush you see dusting his cheeks and mirrored in your own is caused by evening breeze and not this new found quiet affection that feels so right. 

‘Hungry?’ Jeff asks, breaking the comfortably silence as he swings your hands as you walk to the car. 

‘Mmmm’ you ponder, ‘we could cook something back at mine?’ he nods, the journey spent listening to another one of your playlists made with him in mind. 

It should still terrify you. How your body slots against his, filling every space and gap with gentle precision, each of you mindfully working around the other as you teach him how to make the pasta dish of yours Jeff loves. 

The rest of the evening slipping past you in a domestic bubble of his aftershave wafting through the air and directly into your nose as you cuddle into his chest on the couch. 

‘Y/n...baby wake up’ the soft whisper stirs you awake. 

The moan of protest that leaves your mouth in realisation of being awake causes Jeff’s chest to rumble in laughter under your weight. 

‘Let’s get you to bed doll’ he insists again. 

‘Mhm...yeah, I wanna shower first’ you protest sleepily, body clinging to his warmth like a koala as Jeff sits up and begins the journey to your bedroom. 

Though once he sits you and pulls away you open your eyes to see the tiles of your bathroom from the sink counter. 

Your eyes watch his every move, white cotton shirt stretched along his muscled back as Jeff turns on the shower and sets it to a warm temperature that immediately fills the room with steam. 

He turns around to give you a soft smile, a sweet go ahead before turning to step out.

You’re not sure when you move, feet meeting the cold floor tiles as your small hand wraps around his wrist.

Jeff’s lost, brown eyes searching your own for an answer once he turns around, only seeing the vulnerability laced in your own that causes a stammer in his heart. 

You’re not sure what you’re doing, toeing this invisible line as you pause to momentarily fidget, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip before you whisper ‘Stay.’

One word, short and simple but enough to shatter the thin veil of almost that’s hang over both of you all day, if not for months. 

You think he’ll protest, respond with a Jeff like nervous giggle and the shake of his head that’s meant to let someone down easily, you’ve seen it happen in the past with your very own eyes. 

Instead, you watch the man take a shaky breath, eyes fleeting up and down your frame that’s changed into a hoodie of his earlier. 

He moves, hands instinctively reaching in your direction before they go for his own T-shirt instead, each garment falling to the floor with a thud as you slip your own off and step inside, distorted by the foggy window of your shower. 

Jeff hovers outside, inches of colourful glass separating him from you. 

Before you have a chance to call out his name he’s inside, pools of darkened brown tracing every detail of your bare face framed by wet hair. 

His gaze drops only for a short second, but it feels like a lifetime as you allow yourself to admire his toned chest and pause at the deep v lines of his hips without looking any lower.  

‘Turn around’ the gentle command pulls you away from reverie, you do as he asks. 

Breath quivering in your throat as you watch his hands reach to the shelf built into the wall to pull out your favourite bottle of shampoo before he squirts some onto his palm and begins to massage the soap into your strands, from the roots down to the ends that fall down against the lover skin of your back. 

The sensation is heavenly, Jeff’s long fingers gentle in their effort to clean your hair thoroughly before moving on to conditioner. 

You turn around after, silently returning the favour once he gets the hint and leans down slightly to match your height and allow you easier access to the locks matted against his forehead. 

There’s a moment of clarity, your eyes falling closed as he pulls you into his wet and naked chest, arms wrapping around your shoulder as you both sigh against each other. 

It remains, buzzing in the air when you slip into the bed and slot yourself against his side, head on his chest and leg thrown across his own as Jeff whispers a sweet good night that’s met with your soft snores.

It’s gone in the morning. When you wake up tangled in cold sheets and alone, tears blurring your vision at the realisation that your twenty four hours is finally up.

[persephonessunflowers]

A little batjokes fic I have been working on. It’s also on ao3 but I’m kind of at a loss of which direction to go with it at this point. So I figured I’d post it here for now until I figure it out .

I fell in love with an idea. A picture I had created that was never meant to be. There was never any possibility that we could be happy together. That a life where only the two of us existed could be possible. Not when every part of me craved the adrenaline from a night of violence and waking up to new scars that defined who I was. And you with your savior complex, thinking the whole world would fall if you went away. Needing the praise even in anonymity. Hiding the scars that defined you with a well-dressed suit. It could never be. But I would be a liar if I said every part of me didn’t ache for the possibility of existing.

Joker rolled over. His thoughts had once again turned the bat. He would never admit that he spent countless hours losing sleep considering the possibility of a normal life. One where his past had not led him to this place. One where he could casually run into a beautiful man while doing something completely mundane. Maybe walking down, the street, perhaps in a coffee shot, or even stealing passing glances on the subway. Finally, one would make a move. They would go on dates, share laughs, and slowly fall in love. He grabbed a pillow lying next to him a slammed it into his face, an attempt to eradicate these thoughts. The joker wasn’t a romantic. He was tyrannical, a leader, the bringer of chaos.At least in his mind this was how he chose to believe he was perceived. Sure, some would say he was insane, psychopathic, a cold-blooded killer, and well truthfully, he was these things. So, these romantic urges that kept coming over him where very detrimental to the brand that he had built around himself. For God’s sake if a hot intelligent blonde woman in a skintight suit who was utterly devoted to him never did it for him then why the hell was he fantasizing about a grown man in a cape. Joker groaned again because it wasn’t just any man in a cape, it was Bruce fucking Wayne. Leave it to him to fall for an eccentric billionaire with a savior complex and moral compass to match.

If you had told Joker a few months ago, the man he was caught in this never ending dance of justice with was Bruce Wayne he probably would have laughed in your face and depending on his mood that day, you might have also not survived the interaction. He did have a flare for being dramatic and something about senseless murder just made him positively giddy. Rumors have always spread in Gotham City’s underground. And why would they not, everyone wanted to know who was truly under the mask that continuously foiled their plans. Most wanted to know so that they could end him for good. Or at the least target those closest to him in order to prove a point. Joker had never particularly cared about the identity of his sworn enemy. He much preferred the tango the two performed without any outside views of who the other was. Both pushing each other to the right to the edge, waiting for the other to overstep their boundaries and go too far. Names could ruin that. There was something about the not knowing that added to the thrill of it all. That made the excitement of both men rise. Joker couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of it. But now he had name to the face behind the mask.

It had started as a relatively normal day, when Joker received word that a Mr. Bruce Wayne had been seen sneaking around one of Joker’s new warehouses. Of course, this had piqued his interest. Why was the elusive billionaire in such a bad area of Gotham, it’s almost like he’s asking to be robbed. It’s not as if he could blend in, everyone knew his face. And secondly the only ones in the know about this newest warehouse were Joker, his most trusted henchman R, Harley, and a certain bat who had found out and stopped by for a visit a week ago. Of course he had found nothing, and the camera only caught him for a moment before he flung one of those damned batarangs at it and every other one he found. Joker sighed, batbrain probably never even considered the expense Joker would have to incur to replace those. The warehouse was nothing, more of a safety net if he ever needed the space. Or more than likely it would be converted to a place for those who worked for him to stay. God knows the filthy animals couldn’t keep a living space to save their lives. And providing living arrangements, food, drugs, and booze was generally the best way he had found to keep street thugs loyal to you. He may be insane, but he wasn’t stupid. And of course, he knew word about his new endeavor would draw the bat in. If there was one thing batsy couldn’t resist it was a hot tip about a new diabolical plan the Joker was forming. And so, what if Joker had his henchman anonymously tip off Jim Gordon knowing he would immediately find a way to alert the bat. Sometimes you have to force fate to get what you desire. And that night what he desired was not a fight but just to watch batman in action.

From his hiding spot the Joker could see everything his bats did. He watched him canvas the area and could hear the frustrated huffs he let out every time he again came up with nothing. He watched as bats paced back and forth clearly trying to figure out what angle was being played. Listened as he radioed Gordon filling him in on the nothingness the warehouse held. They went back and forth wonder what plan was being devised for this place. God Joker could watch him forever. Studying his lips, the way his jaw clenched when he was unhappy. He longed to see his face, to touch him. On the other hand, that would ruin their game and Joker really really liked games. It was fascinating to him that even though the bat had found nothing he stayed there pacing. Glancing at the door every few moments. Joker almost wondered if the bat was waiting for him to show up. Did their little fights give the bat the same thrill Joker got? The way both of their adrenaline rose, their hearts beating fast, and their breathing getting deeper. The pain was so intoxicating and led to the ultimate pleasure. Nothing else could top it. But not tonight. Tonight, Joker wanted him to squirm. And squirm he did. In semi defeat, the bat sat down on a box in the corner. Hidden in the shadows waiting. He waited the entirety of the night, unaware that the Joker was sitting merely feet away. It wasn’t until light started to seep in that the bat finally sauntered away. It was curious. Surely there was other crime going on in Gotham. Honestly when wasn’t there crime in Gotham, the city was a cesspool of it. He’d even heard tell of a heist the Penguin was planning that night. And surely Bats had been made aware of that. And yet he never left the warehouse.

Snapping back to the present Joker frowned at the tingly feeling the memory had given him. Now onto the pressing issue of why Bruce Wayne was at his warehouse and how he knew it was there. He gathered himself, choosing his most basic suit. It was navy blue and had none of the flare that he had come to appreciate. He also forewent applying his face makeup to appear more normal. After a moments thought he also chose to grab his sunglasses, gloves, and a hat in an attempt to slightly disguise himself. He doubted this would do much as he slid a hand across the white skin of his face. It was an aspect of himself that he struggled to hide. It was why he preferred the night over day. In the darkness he could appear normal, avoiding the judgmental eyes that the daylight cast. He had learned throughout the years of course. Purchased wigs and learned how to properly put them on so they looked real, he had found contacts that closely matched the color his eyes had once been. But he was unable to find anything for the skin. He had tried foundations but none of them worked. He often questioned if it was due to the acid, this led to a spiral of remembering the events that caused him to fall. He never spent to long considering it otherwise his mind began to drift to a dark place. A place that scared even him, one where he could feel his mental state slipping. Slowly succumbing fully to the madness. Joker shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. After a final glance in the mirror, he slipped out of his apartment to find an available car. He hoped Wayne would still be there, thankfully it was only about a 10-minute drive from his place. He had made this decision deliberately hoping that no one would consider he lived close to his investments and would rather stay far away from them to avoid suspicion. Once in the garage, he chose a simple black car and started the drive, preparing for a confrontation with the treasure of Gotham, Bruce Wayne. As Joker pulled into the warehouse drive, he could see a small blue car parked not far off in the distance. It was pulled off to the side of the road just slightly, he assumed the placement was meant to make it look like the car had broken down there but due to the current situation it seemed like it may be Mr. Wayne’s. He pondered whether he should go search the car before heading to the warehouse, ultimately deciding against it in case Wayne decided to stop whatever he was doing and head back. Joker put his car in park and turned off the engine. He felt it best not to alert the man breaking into his building. As he walked up the gravel, almost by divine intervention a certain someone was crawling out of one of the first story windows.

“Uhm, excuse me sir. I don’t usually like finding unknown men crawling out of my buildings.” it seemed best not to start off too accusatory in case there was a valid reason a billionaire was snooping around his property.

“Oh, uhm, of course I am so sorry about this.” He stopped and cleared out his throat. “I am Bruce Wayne, I uh wasn’t aware that someone had purchased this property. I had been informed it was for sale and wanted to check it out to see if it would be a good space for some new developments at Wayne Industry.”

Wayne held out his hand and Joker realized he intended for them to shake hands. How disgustingly formal. He slowly reached out a gloved hand to shake, watching as the man’s hand nearly covered his own. The strong grasp jolted through Joker and he quickly pulled away wiping the glove on his pants as if this would establish some kind of unspoken boundary between the two. Joker kept his gaze on the man, there was something so familiar about him. Maybe he was making it up it was completely feasible that he had just seen an interview the man was in. His excuse was reasonable as well. The property had only been off the market 2 weeks at most, but why bother sneaking into it and distancing your vehicle from the building?

“Oh, I see. I’m Jack. Jack…Sawyer. Do you always examine potential investments by climbing through the windows?”

The man’s face reddened. “The uh, the door was jammed and when I was assessing the outside of the building, I noticed one of the windows was ajar and figured it wouldn’t hurt to use that as an entry.”

“Hmm understandable. Well, I would be happy to give you a tour of the building, but I am afraid that it has already been purchased by me, so it would be no use to your company endeavors.”

Clearly embarrassed by having been caught the man stood there fidgeting. His jaw clenching and unclenching. His eyes darting to the gate. He wasn’t scared, no Joker knew fear, and this was not it. Nervous perhaps? Anxious? Something was off but Joker couldn’t quite place it. His voice, his mouth something about it called to Joker.

There was a long uncomfortable pause before Wayne looked at Joker and said, “Yeah, I…I would love a tour. Do you have any plans for the building?”

Joker hadn’t expected this. It was more of pleasant offering rather than one he actually wanted to do. But, maybe during the tour he could pinpoint what it was about this man exactly.

“I’m not really much of a planner Mr. Wayne. To be honest the price of the building was such a steal I couldn’t pass it up. I’m sure you understand that you don’t become a billionaire by spending recklessly now do you? I am considering using it as a storage facility. I own a bar you see and the storage capacity there is really lacking so I figured why not buy a cheap warehouse.”

The man seemed genuinely taken aback by this statement. His jaw clenching again. His eyes searching Jokers face as if he was trying to pull something out of him. Joker stared back, his eyes never leaving Wayne’s. It was as if they were locked in a battle only Joker wasn’t sure what exactly they were battling for. Surely Bruce Wayne wasn’t so pressed for a warehouse building that he was going to come for some lowly bar owner. And that was when it clicked. Jokers’ eyes broke the stare and fell to the man’s clenched jaw. He knew that clench. He knew that mouth. As if he hadn’t fantasized about those lips on him for months now. Bruce fucking Wayne was Batman, unbelievable. In his surprise he let out a not-so-subtle gasp.

“Are…are you okay Mr. Sawyer?”

“I uh oh yes of course, sometimes my mind escapes me, I suffered an accident sometime ago and the effects seem to pop up at the most inopportune times.”

Wayne dropped his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. “You said you owned a bar. What’s the name of it maybe I’ve visited there?”

“Oh, I highly doubt that Mr. Wayne. It doesn’t usually bring in” he paused looking the man up and down “your type, but….If you’re ever feeling frisky, it’s called The White Knight.”

Joker stopped to look at the man after saying this. He knew damn well that Batman had no idea of the existence of this place. He had undergone every security measure to ensure so. But he knew that this would elicit a response from the bats. How could it not? The Joker owning a secret bar that batsy hadn’t been informed about, on top of the bar being a mockery of his title. It would make Batman seethe.

Wayne’s eyes darkened and his nostrils flared, it was slight, but it was enough for Joker to confirm what he already knew.

“Thank you for the offer to show me the building Mr. Sawyer, but I’m sorry I just realized I have to go.” he glanced quickly at his watch, “I forget I had a meeting to attend. This has truly been an enlightening afternoon.”

“I agree Mr. Wayne, it certainly has been. Are you sure you don’t want a quick tour?”

“No, uh thank you but no. I truly have to go.” And with that Joker watched the man saunter down the driveway. He pulled off his glasses and stared after the man. This newfound information complicated things but it also gave Joker leverage and God knows Joker liked having leverage.

What to do with this leverage? He could let it slip…no…no he didn’t like that. Freely handing out this precious information to those lowly Neanderthals. No, they would go after him, and while Batman would never stand down, they would probably kill him. The bat would die at the feet of those he spent so long pursuing. He grimaced picturing the scene. He couldn’t let them kill Batman. Batman was his. Joker felt that nagging voice in his head again, the one he constantly tried to keep at bay with Scarecrow’s medication.

if anyone is going to kill the bat it’s going to be you right?? You could never let anyone take him from you. He’s yours, yours yours. HAHAHAHAHA.

He took his hands, slamming them to his ears. “Shut up, shut up, shut up I do not want to kill him.”

Of course not, maybe just torture him a little bit until you can’t stop, poor Joker always unable to prevent yourself from going to far.. Drag the knife across his throat, cutting a tad too deep. Tie him up. Let him bleed out while watching you perform. That’s what you want isn’t it? For the bat to bleed, his pretty red blood spilling across the floor. And as he falls to the ground ceasing to exist so does his deluded version of Gotham. You, standing strong watching the city succumb to crime and destruction. Knowing they will not mourn him. Gotham doesn’t care. Gotham feeds on destruction, chaos, and the ruin of its citizens. If you’re born here you don’t stand a chance. There is no good in Gotham, so you must kill the only thing that believes it exist. Kill the bats, Kill the bats, Kill the bats.

He felt his mouth curving up into a terrifying smile as a fit of giggles erupted from his mouth HAHAHAHAHA.

His hands fell from his ears to clasp over his mouth, an attempt to silence, well really everything. After a few minutes, the laughter subsided, and the thoughts quieted. He sank to ground resting his chin on the top of his knees. His faced ached from the experience as it usually did, tears began to well in his eyes, a product of self-hatred, anger, and sadness.

He didn’t want the bat to die. Or…or maybe he did. Things would be far less complicated if a certain dark knight wasn’t involved. Unfortunately, a part of him wanted to be held by the knight. His slight framed wrapped in the strong arms of his enemy. Letting his body go limp as he breathed in the comforting smell. Hands running through his hair. Soft whispers trying to convince him that the world isn’t all bad. But it is isn’t it? There’s no good here, no God exists because if he did, he would surely drown this city. This hell on Earth, putrid and reeking of sin. Never allowing happiness to live within its borders. Joker pulled himself upright and violently wiped away the tears that had covered his face. He was the goddam Joker not some pathetic schoolboy with the luxury of pathetically crushing on the most popular boy in the grade. Brushing off his pants from sitting on the ground he began to stroll back to his car. Tonight, he would choose chaos. Perhaps a robbery he hadn’t performed one of those in a long while. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Harley to get the men prepped and to choose a nice jewelry store for their night out. Yes, a robbery sounded splendid. Maybe tomorrow he would figure out what to do with Mr. Wayne. Or maybe he would do nothing at all, just keep the information in his pocket. After all what was the point in ruining their game?

"Mr. J, if you don't mind me saying, you're uh heart didn't seem to be all into the score last night..." Harley's eyes didn't quite meet us. No doubt they were fearing the repercussion these words would bring. She would never say it but she liked the anticipation, the not knowing what was coming. Perhaps she even liked the pain when it came. But, perceptive as ever she was correct.

Sighing Joker looked over at her. "Harley I've told you time and time again please do not call me that. Just Jack is fine. Please just Jack. I was merely distracted last night. There's some financials issues with the club that I need to work out."

She walked over to him, placing one hand on his. The other at her side twitching to cup his face, knowing he would withdraw if she did. "I can't call you Jack anymore, it's too...personal." Then she jumped back and just like that her mood changed and smile erupted on her face "Besides Mr. J is so much more fun to say, wouldn't you agree? It gives you authority and I love a man who has power." The deviousness written across her face.

"Damn it Harley. Then call me Mr. Napier if you insist on acting this way about it. Also cut the showbiz act. It makes you seem desperate and pathetic." He knew the words would sting her. He wanted it too. He hated her for bringing out the worst in him. But that nagging voice loved her for it. Together the two could be unstoppable, maniacal. It's why he had broke it off. She was smart, brilliant even. She knew what his inside voice wanted and she knew how to provoke it out of him because in that world at least they are together. Part of him wanted to snap her neck and that be the end of it. And yet another part knew he could never do that because he cared for her in the way only two people with so much history and tragedy could. His gaze fell to her stomach, wondering what could have been. "Leave me alone Ms. Quinzel, your presence is pissing me off."

Tears gathered in her eyes as she turned to leave the room, slamming the door for effect.

He winced at the sound. Going after her would just provoke her wrath and he didn't have the energy to deal with that. It's best to give it a few days. He shouldn't have lashed out at her. He was frustrated. The bat had failed to show up last night, which meant the thrill he normally got from nights like that was nonexistent.

There was no point feeling sorry for himself. It never led to any place good. He stood up grabbed his jacket and headed for he bar. At the very least he could use this energy to get something done and for the sake of his workers hope that none of them were stupid enough to tantalize him tonight. His bloodlust was encompassing him and anything could set him off at this point.

The walk from his apartment to the bar wasn't a far one but the cold air made it seem like miles. Joker shivered trying to shake the chill that encompassed him. Gotham was always cold. It didn't matter what time of year it was. Sure the air warmed but you could still feel the breeze nipping at you, waiting to drop. He glanced at the sky, dusk was settling. It didn't matter, the sun never quite shown here in Gotham either. It was gray, just consistently gray. But it never seemed to bother any one else, or at least not that he had noticed. It's where his flare for colors came from, he wanted to break away from the gray.

He was merely feet away from the opening of the bar, the music creeped onto the otherwise silent street. He smirked, the song playing was one of his favorites. He leaned against the brick wall feeling the vibrations of the loud speak reverberate through calming him. He closed his eyes and just listened. Sighing as the song ended he felt a little better. Perhaps he would just go to his upstairs room and let the music take him away for the night. He would never admit the sway the sounds had over him. Finding comfort in the beats a rock song would produce.

A rustling sound came from the doorway, making him straighten quickly, keeping his face a blank canvas. He could already hear the gossip from his men if one of them found him out here basking in the sound of the music. Especially, with how he talked about it in front of them. Calling it a pointless waste. No. His entire personality was to remain hidden. To them he was a maniac, always angry, and mere moments away from snapping. Everything was jokes and crime. Not an entirely wrong synopsis but he was never to be seen as human, because that meant weakness and he would never again be seen as weak.

Fortunately, this was just a drunk patron stumbling his way out. In his drunken state the man couldn't particularly walk straight and managed to trip over his feet, his face colliding with the Joker shoulders. Finally a reason to have some fun. In less than a second Joker twisted away and wrapped his hand around the patrons throat, with full force he pushed him into the wall. The mans head collided with the brick, a sickening thud could be heard. Joker smirked, even drunk he could feel the mans fear radiating off of him. His adrenaline keeping him alert. His eyes screaming for help in ways his mouth could not. It was heaven. Joker leaned into the man, "Didn't your mother ever teach you that you should watch where you're walking?" He could feel his smile widening

"I.....I......uh.....I....I'm sorry sir." He gasped between words. Jokers fingers were wrapped so tightly around his neck it was a miracle he was able to get any words out all. With a glance down, Joker could see that the man had wet himself. Well this is no fun, the poor sap isn't even going to fight back. His smiled faltered where's the fun in that?

Just kill him, he isn’t worth anything. No one would miss him. Snap his neck, feel his bones crush beneath your strength. Come on you know you want to. You want to feel that rush. See the light as it drains from his eyes. Pleading until the very last second.

Joke could feel his smile widening again. His fingers twitched as he started to laugh. The man's eyes grew large with realization. He knew that laugh. All of Gotham knew that laugh. His body started to shake as tears streamed down his face.

See how pathetic he is. He doesn't deserve to live. You know you want the high this will give you.

And with that he gave in. His fingers tightened and with a final gurgle the mans will gave and his body slumped. The Joker let go and gasped at the feeling it gave him. He was positively giddy. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad day after all. He pulled out his phone and called one of his men to come dispose of the body. He didn't need anyone poking around his bar. A worker came out the side door and Joker motioned him over.

The worker glanced briefly at the body "Geez boss what'd he do to you?"

With a sneer Joker spat back "Not that it's any of your business but he bumped into me. Now get rid of the scum."

Recognizing his boss's mood the man quickly grabbed the body and retreated.

Joker turned away walking into the bar. He was ready to have some fun.

[adashelbysgirlfriend]

Belter - Tommy Shelby

a bit of Tommy fluff based on Belter by Gerry Cinnamon, because thats what the world needs right now.

i hope youre all doing well and staying inside and safe! nothing lasts forever <3

She is a belter Different from the rest 

Tommy saw you as soon as you walked through the door. It wasn't like when he saw Grace or Greta, he felt you. You took his breath away, you made the most powerful man in Birmingham speechless, without even knowing it. 

Diamonds on her finger And she always looks her best

You looked like something from his dreams, from any mans dreams. Every single light in that room hit your dress; you shimmered. He couldn't ignore you if he tried.

He would never know of the time you spent in the mirror, scrutinising ever part of your body and picking yourself apart - to him you were immaculate. 

 She is a gangster With a hundred mile stare When she walks Her feet don't touch the flair

You were Tommys ride or die, and everyone knew it. Nobody touched Mrs Shelby - those who didn't know you well feared tommy too much to do you wrong but the ones who did feared you. 

Just as smart as tommy, you were his equal. Arthur and John were no match for you quick wit, you could level with Ada on complex politics and even Polly admired your strength of character; 

“she's a good one Tommy, that lass, but god be with you if you ever do her wrong”

She plays with lightning I'm a hundred miles high Dishing out the thunder Like a God inside the sky

You had no fear of Tommy, and he loved that about you. the way you spoke to him, the way you teased him - made him weak. When you were alone together you had all the power. He would do anything you said, and it both terrified and excited him. Sometimes you let him have a flavour of that control, let him take the reins. But he knew it was all on your terms - he would serve you in any way possible, anything to hear the way his name sounded from your lips.

How can she reach me When I'm high above the shelf Lost inside a smoke ring While I ponder to myself

At first the Shelbys accepted you because they had too; Tommys girl was part of the family whether they liked it or not. However, when they saw how you could deal with him, talk him out from those dark corners of his brain he often dwelled in. You brought back parts of Tommy that they hadn't seen since before the war, parts they thought they would never see again. And for that, they welcomed you into the family with open arms.

Is happiness an option Or has love just turned me blind

It took Tommy a while to actually believe you would stay. He found it hard to believe that someone as good as you would be willing to blend their future with a man like him. He felt like he wasn't worthy of the happiness he felt when you were around him, the euphoria he felt under your touch. After all the bad things he had done, how could any god grant him such an angel like yourself. He'd lost love in the past, he knew the feeling of heartbreak and he also knew he could survive it - but he doubted losing you would compare. He had found someone he genuinely couldn't imagine a future without, and it scared him shitless.

No happy endings Unless fairytales comes true But she looks like a princess And there's not much else to do

He tried to turn you away, tried to deny the attraction he felt every time he was in your presence - but it was simply a battle he didn't want to fight nor did he enjoy. All it took was a bit of interest from you and he would lose all resolve, all common scene. You brought him to his knees and he would let you every time.

She gets underneath my skin But I've been stung a few times So I don't let no one in

No even belters

it would take a while for you to get inside that head of his, truly. Tommy had built so many walls to protect himself over the years that they were heard to bring down, even when he wanted to let you in. But Tommy was worth the effort, even if he didn't believe it himself. You loved him and you were willing to put in the leg work to prove he could trust you with all the sides to his personal. 

She is a Belter.

[kurowrites]

Letters From Beyond - Chapter 4: The Reply

AO3

---

How did one reply to a letter such as this?

Lan Wangji sat in front of an empty sheet of paper for far too long, and still he couldn’t think of a suitable reply. Hei was dozing now, apparently not in a hurry to return home after gorging himself on too many berries. Lan Wangji could take his time.

He considered the empty paper. What did Wei Wuxian want from him? What had he wanted to say by sending him a single line of text?

Wei Wuxian had answered every letter that Lan Wangji had written so far. Perhaps that was already answer enough.

He set the brush to the paper and started to write.

Wei Ying

I do not know how to reply to your letter, other than telling you that I do not wish to make you cry. It was the same then, too. I was angry, maybe am still angry now, though that is no excuse. I simply do not understand. I wish you would let me understand.

They call you a monster now. I have had the misfortune of hearing the stories they tell about you, how you eat children and hunt in the dark with glowing red eyes. But when I think back, instead of a monster I see you asking me to look at the ants in the courtyard because you thought they were cute. I do not understand. Your sister worries about you, and I wonder how you can subsist in a place like Burial Mounds. I wonder why you chose your own confinement instead of justice.

That was your wish, was it not. To be just and live without regrets. Are you without regrets now, Wei Ying? Have you chosen the right path for yourself? I have regretted not listening to you many times. Perhaps, if I had, your sister didn’t have to lament the absence of her brother on her wedding day. How can she believe you are still good when you are clearly guilty of the crime you are accused of? I do not understand.

Lan Wangji

He didn’t reread the letter, knowing full well that he wouldn’t sent it if he did. He folded it and placed it in front of Hei, so he could take it and choose to return home whenever he wanted. Then he cleaned his desk and went to take a bath.

He felt tense, harried. A bath might help to soothe his warring emotions.

---

The distance between Cloud Recesses and Burial Mounds was not inconsiderable even to a winged creature, and Lan Wangji couldn’t reasonably expect a reply before many days had passed. If Wei Ying was still willing to answer him, that was.

He knew he could do nothing but be patient, but despite his best efforts, he spent the next few days in a state of constant expectation, an impatience giving its way to irritation, making him more withdrawn than he already was.

Lan Xichen asked him if he was all right more than once. He only shook his head and assured his brother that he was, since he could hardly tell him that he was expecting a letter from the elusive Yiling Patriarch. He knew his brother wouldn’t judge him for telling him the truth, but he might want him to make the communication public. That, Lan Wangji could not allow.

He pondered over whether that constituted as a lie or not. But then, he had already broken another rule of his clan – do not associate with evil.

At the same time, Jiang Yanli’s words still reverberated in his ears.

Whatever he did, there is no doubt in my mind that he is a good man.

Could it be true? Or was it simply the denial of someone who wanted to protect themselves from the truth?

If this was about Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji would say the same thing without hesitation. He knew that his brother was a good man, that he would never draw his sword without reason. But Lan Wangji didn’t know the relationship between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, and he hadn’t known Wei Wuxian for long enough to truly know the depths of his character. He did not know if malice and falsehood hid behind the silly mask Wei Wuxian usually wore. He had no way of gauging that now.

He continued to debate the issue internally, until finally, Hei returned.

Lan Wangji found him hanging upside down from one of the tassels that held up the bamboo lattices in front of the windows of the Jingshi, amusing himself by gripping the cords with his feet and swaying back and forth.

“That is not a toy,” he chastised Hei. “I will give you some berries.”

Hei crowed in eager agreement, dropped from the tassel, and fluttered over to land on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. For such a large creature, he was surprisingly light, not at all what Lan Wangji had expected.

He went to fetch the berries he now always kept ready for Hei, and set them in a place he could easily clean up after Hei was done eating, careful to keep him far away from any more books he could destroy with a beak full of berry juice.

Once Hei was fed, he went to his desk. To his surprise, Hei hadn’t delivered just one letter this time. There were two.

He picked up the one that looked familiar to him now, the way it was folded saying “Wei Wuxian” more surely than any actual writing. It was, again, disappointingly short.

Lan Zhan

You say you do not wish to make me cry, and yet I must believe that you do. Telling me these things. That you of all people speak of regret, it pains me. I cannot regret what I have done. I still believe I made the right choice, and have chosen the right path. I have no proof, and so I hope that you believe me when I say that. Just… don’t blame yourself, please, Lan Zhan. This is my burden to carry. I shouldn’t keep writing to you, I know it puts you in a difficult position, but I cannot help it. I was serious when I asked you to be my friend, even though that can never happen now. I am so sorry. I knew when I saw you the first time that you were a special person, and I could not resist wanting to know you. If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Wei Ying

Lan Zhan stared at the letter in shock. His heart was beating fast, blood rushing in his ears. What a letter this was!

He read the last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

He put the letter down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply for long moments, trying to compose himself.

Me too, he thought to himself. If I had never met you, I would be without regrets, as well.

He fought for composure and reached for the second letter once he felt reasonably calm.

It was much longer than the first one, and as soon as he opened it, he could see that it was written by a different hand. It was also written in an entirely different style. It was properly addressed to him, as well, and contained the appropriate greetings and civilities at the beginning. The writer of this letter clearly wasn’t Wei Wuxian. It was Wen Qing.

He skipped over the general civilities and moved on to the main body of the letter:

Forgive me for being so frank, but I cannot stay silent any longer. Every time a letter arrives from you, Wei Wuxian is distraught, and it is worrying us to see him like this. He smiles and he acts like it is nothing, but I have never seen him as discomposed as when it comes to you.

My word may not be worth much in the eyes of the cultivation world, but I know that he will not tell you unless I do it first. Let me give you a true account of what happened that fateful night.

As you no doubt already concluded, I was sent as a spy to Cloud Recesses by Wen Ruohan himself, tasked with helping Wen Chao find one of the pieces of the Yin Iron. We knew it was in your possession, but were unable to retrieve it. I had my reasons for complying with Wen Ruohan’s orders, and I will make no apology for my deception.

At this point, we all believed that no one else was aware of the existence of the Yin Iron, and though we were pressed to retrieve it quickly, we weren’t much worried about anything else. That proved to be a major mistake. I do not know how he learned about our plans or where the Yin Iron was, but Jin Guangshan gained knowledge of it somehow. Since we were already suspicious and, compared to Wen Chao, relatively unimportant, he must have thought my brother and I convenient scapegoats. We were asleep when he snuck into our dorm that night, overpowered us, tied us up, and abducted us. He was smart about it, too. He knew how much my brother means to me, and he made use of that.

I don’t know the exact details of his plan, but I’m sure he wanted to make it look like the Wen sect stole the Yin Iron, and then planned to get rid of us once we had fulfilled our roles. Perhaps he was truly afraid that the Yin Iron would fall into Wen Ruohan’s hands. Perhaps he was simply greedy for his own share of power. Whatever it was, he showed no hesitation in stepping over a few dead bodies in order to get what he wanted.

He nearly killed my brother when I tried to disobey him, and he might have succeeded if it wasn’t for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is a magnet for trouble, but it saved our lives that night. He had snuck out of his own dorm that night, to plunder the kitchen or sneak wine into Cloud Recesses or whatever foolish thing he tends to do when left to his own devices. He managed to find us just in the nick of time. He is an honourable man, and did not hesitate in defending us. He stood between Wen Ning and Jin Guangshan without fear or hesistation. Jin Guangshan told him that if he was decided on defending the scum of the Wen clan, he should die with them too. He was the one who drew his sword on Wei Wuxian. I am sure Wei Wuxian didn’t want to kill him, but he also refused to let us die. You know how the fight ended.

As Jin Guangshan finally lay dead, we panicked. Perhaps we should have woken you up, and relate the circumstances to you, but it all happened so fast, we had no proof that Jin Guangshan had been the perpetrator, and we were scared. I was a spy, after all. So we ran away, taking the Yin Iron with us because we were afraid it would fall into the wrong hands.

The Yin Iron is still with us. Rest assured that I would never hand it over to Wen Ruohan now. Wei Wuxian uses the Iron to keep us safe, but the effect on him is becoming more and more visible each day. He is not doing well. I worry how long he can keep doing this, before he destroys himself completely. He says he does it to keep us safe – me, my brother and the remaining members of my clan that have made it to Burial Mounds – so it is no burden to him. He is lying, however. He knows he is slowly destroying himself, and I know that he is trying to figure out how to make sure we stay protected once he dies.

I cannot go against him and protect him from himself. But maybe you can. That is why I thought you should know the truth.

Lan Wangji put the letter down. He noticed that his hands were shaking, but he couldn’t stop it. His heart clenched, and bile rose in his throat.

If only Wei Wuxian had called for him. If only– If only–

He reached for Wei Wuxian’s letter again, and read it once more.

I have no proof, it read. And then, that last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Tears rose in his eyes, and for once, he didn’t try to stop them from falling.

To lament for a person he barely knew.

He looked at the letter again.

No, he thought. No, you will not.

[theangriestpea]

In the Shadows : Five

Summary: Jughead Jones, resident werewolf, just wants to protect his family and his pack from the incoming doom of The Red Circle. Sweet Pea and Lily join him to help keep the Southside safe from human tyranny. Meanwhile a demon princess named Myra and succubus named Lavender had a plan to bring on the apocalypse. <ao3> <masterlist> <playlist>

Rating: Mature // Explicit

Pairings: Jughead Jones x OC, Sweet Pea x OC, Kurtz x OC

Warnings: Smut, Mentions of forced pregnancy, Rough sex, Hair pulling, Intense choking, Fingering, Oral, Anal, Degradation/Humiliation, Dirty talk??? , NO AFTERCARE

Word Count: 6.3k+

A/N:  This chapter has a very serious warning. At the end there is a very graphic and violent, CONSENSUAL sex scene. If you are not comfortable reading about rough, violent sex then you might want to skip it because it gets a little brutal imo. If you're not in a good headspace for that, then please come back and read at a time when you are.

Part Five: Alone

A few quiet days passed. Lavender spent her days lounging with Charlie, enjoying the fighter’s company more than loneliness. During the night was when Lav hunted as Charlie could only see her partner after the sun had set. Charlie’s relationship was open and Lav’s was nonexistent.

As it turned out, Charlie was the newest member to the Jones pack. She had been an outsider from Greendale that escaped a desperate situation to what she thought would be safe in Riverdale. Once she arrived and found the plague that was The Red Circle, she realized that she had been gravely mistaken.

However, having a strong pack to back her up and support her was better than the broken home she had been barely surviving in. She also struggled with loneliness and did not quite fit in with her packmates yet. Despite her fierce loyalty to the Joneses for taking her in, it was said that she had yet to prove herself.

She was a champion in the ring. Charlie had never lost a fair fight. In Greendale she was forced to fight for scraps. She excelled and it was used to bind her into servitude. Now it was her greatest strength as it earned her enough respect on the Southside to not get messed with. Everyone knew there was a bite to back up her loud bark.

Seeing their blossoming friendship, Jughead decided to give Charlie a job to do. He wanted her to keep an eye on the succubus for the time being to make sure that she was trustworthy. The only reason he had to distrust her was that it was the very nature of a demon to be dishonest and conniving.

There was still two weeks until the next full moon and Jughead wanted everyone to meet together. Lavender was dreading this as it meant she’d have to see her baby daddy. While she wasn’t showing yet and didn’t really have any symptoms of pregnancy, she had a feeling he would know. Most likely because of Jughead’s big fucking mouth.

But she could always deny that it was his. She pondered this and eventually found that it would be the most beneficial tactic for her. The last thing she wanted was there to be strings attached to her in any way. Her forced commitment to Myra was bad enough. Her fling with Charlie was hardly anything more than friends with benefits.

Jughead had not probed any further about who the father was. Though he routinely asked her how she was doing in regards to pregnancy. Lav kept telling him that her human symptoms weren’t bound to start for another two weeks or so while her demonic ones were already in full swing. Never in her entire demonic life had she been so hungry, so insatiable that she thought she might go insane.

Myra even brought her supplemented souls to feed her. She could always tell when the succubus was starving. The demoness asked Lav why she didn’t take Charlie’s soul as often it was during the day that she needed more sustenance. Lav always dodged the question.

Presently the demon was on the back of Jug’s motorcycle as he drove through a large beaten path in the woods to the cottage where the witches lived. Her grip was tight but she was not nearly as pressed against him as she had been against Sweet Pea that fateful night. Her clothing choice was also a bit more modest since she knew there would be a toddler present.

The wolf had to assure Lily that Lav would not harm her child. It took a few lengthy conversations before the white witch that smelled of sunshine finally gave in. He pulled up into the smooth driveway and parked as Lav hopped off and threaded her fingers through her messy hair.

Jughead swung his leg around and stood as Lily came out to greet them. Lav watched her with curious eyes as she seemed to beam at the werewolf. She wondered what had happened the night he saved her from Kurtz when he took her home.

It was clear to Lavender that he was enamored with her and she suspected that Lily felt the same for him. It was cute in some way. Their energy was radiant when they were close to one another. She even suspected that they might be soulmates. It was incredibly difficult to take the soul of someone who had met their cosmic match. She always avoided those who gave off that aura.

Then, Lily looked at Lav with distrust. “Come on, Sweet Pea is already inside.”: The witch’s eyes flickered to the demon’s stomach that showed no sign of a child growing within. She shook her head before turning and walking back into the small home.

The succubus said nothing as she kept a blank look on her face. Once inside she noticed that all of their gazes were trained on her, specifically her abdomen. She put a hand on her hip, “if you have something to say, then say it.”

Sweet Pea was enraged with her, feeling as if she had deceived him. If he had known she could get pregnant then he would have worn a god damn condom. His anger was boiling, threatening to bubble over. The only thing that stopped him was the thought that if either of them were dead then those that remained alive wouldn’t have the necessary power to protect Daisy. Daisy was the only thing keeping him sane.

“You’re pregnant.” Lily said in a tone that showed just how much faith she currently had in their newest partner. It was very little. “Were you pregnant before you stole his soul or was that part of the packaged deal?”

Lav felt like she didn’t have to explain herself to mortals. Not when they were being this aggressive towards her. She kept her feelings calm. Any alarm would summon Myra or worse, Kurtz. That was the last thing she needed right now. She truly did want to help Jughead as the Southside had quickly become her new home.

“Before.” She lied, wanting to ease the tension. “I killed the father and ate him like any good demon would do.” It was so easy to let the deceit roll off her tongue. So easy to just pretend that she wasn’t in this complicated situation.

The air seemed to have left the room as all three of the others sighed with great relief. She felt herself irked that the thought of Sweet Pea being the father was such a bad idea that it caused them that much distress. Clearly she could never let the truth be known. It almost hurt her. But then, she never expected him to be in her daughter’s life in the first place.

“I don’t understand all of this hostility after I saved you for the vargulf the other night.” The succubus said, displaying her annoyance openly now.

Lily’s face dropped while Sweet Pea looked completely confused. “You saved her? When?!” He was snapping at the both of them. Neither woman appreciated it.

“When the vargulf attacked her. You didn’t think you got him off of you all by yourself, did you, little witch? Your magic was so weak that night that you couldn’t stop him from bruising your throat, don’t think I can’t see it under your charms. It was right in front of my trailer. I flung him off you and pinned him down. Jughead took you back to his home before I let him go again.” She hadn’t planned on ever admitting this but obviously earning their trust was something she was going to have to do.

“I could have let him tear you apart,” She continued, “because he would have had I not intervened. Jughead wouldn’t have been able to save you without getting himself killed in the process. My child has nothing to do with any of you.”

Jughead’s eyes softened. He had questions about what had happened that night himself, but didn’t think that it had been his neighbor who had saved his crush. The distrust in him was quickly fading. He did have one very important question though, whether or not she would answer him he did not know.

“I don’t understand, why did you save me?” Lily asked, her own voice light now instead of harsh. “He would have killed me. You are right, I wasn’t strong enough that night. My head was in a bad place for magic.” Her gratefulness was overcoming her doubt. This demon was the reason she could still hold her little girl every day. The reason she could still hold Jughead….A blush quickly crossed her cheeks but she hid it well.

Lav shook her head. The real reason was that Lily was important to Sweet Pea and he was important to her. She didn’t know why the prick was important but more often than not she believed that Charlie was just a distracting substitute for him. They did have some frank similarities that she really couldn’t ignore.

All eyes were still on her. She shifted uncomfortably. Normally she felt quite starved for attention but this was too much to take it at once. “You have a young daughter. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mother. I do not wish that on anyone.” She said, telling a half truth this time.

The white witch seemed to connect with her on a deeper level then. She was abandoned at a young age by her own mother so she also knew what it was like. “Thank you.” She said with great sincerity. “I truly appreciate it. If there’s anything I can...we can do to repay you, then let us know.”

“We? She took my soul! It was the least she could do to save your ass!” Sweet Pea said loudly in a voice edged with fury for being volunteered.

“Because you’d be lost as a single parent, Sweet Pea.” Lily replied harshly. “You’re a good dad but you couldn’t do it all by yourself and you know it.”

He backed down a small bit, knowing what she was saying was ultimately true. He couldn’t do it by himself and he didn’t have any disillusion that he could. “Fine.” He bit back, clearly not happy. “If she’d like another orgasm, I’ll happily give her one.”

Jughead couldn’t help but roll his eyes before sitting down on the couch. Lavender just stared at him with the same blank expression as before. “Believe it or not, witch, your dick is not the gods’ gift to womankind. If I want an orgasm then I already have someone in my care who will gladly oblige and I can assure that her head is much better than yours.”

His neck turned red with rage, eyes aflame despite the immediate arousal he felt from the mental image of her with another woman. One seemed to be fueling the other. “No girl can fuck like I can.”

“I suppose you’re right. Women don’t just pound into you until you have a mediocre climax. So no, she can’t fuck exactly like you can. She’s much, much better.” Lav said, a smirk on her burgundy lips now with pride in the fact that she knew she would win this argument, even if she was lying.

Lily was standing there awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say. She only had experience with sex with one person and that was Sweet Pea. She was unsure what it was like with other people. Her eyes darted to Jughead as the thought ran through her as to what he would be like between the sheets. Her cheeks were instantly pink again.

Jughead saw her looking at him and smiled before motioning for her to take a seat. She returned the smile before sitting down beside him. Close but not too close. Sweet Pea noticed this and frowned, jealousy twinging in his empty heart. He huffed and sat down in his old tattered recliner, crossing his large arms across his chest in a masculine pout.

“So, you’re asking for my help because you need another boost of power.” Lav said, successfully changing the subject. “I’m not concerned with my levels or Sweet Pea’s as having no soul means there’s no longer a barrier on how much he can hold. Sex with a demon will give you more than one witch can possibly handle. I’m sure you’ve noticed his lack of control.” Lily nodded, she had noticed but she hadn’t said anything. Sweet Pea scoffed, wanting to protest but decided not to.

Lav took a seat in a nearby chair, crossing her legs clothed in tight black denim pants. “Which is fine for what we’re doing, but a bigger concern of mine is that your level is relatively low, Lily.” She looked at her, hazel and green eyes meeting. “Not to say that you don’t have great magical strength, because I sense that you are quite powerful in white magic. Protection and healing mainly. Which is why you will need to lead the spell and why you need to be stronger. I suggest you have sex. Anyone will do. I will gladly have sex with you if you want, I love taking beautiful women to bed. Although, I understand if you do not want to partake in the risk.”

Lily was quiet, her entire face red. Sweet Pea was smirking, “Lily, I’d happily show you another good time. For old time’s sake?”

Her eyes cut and narrowed at him, “no thank you, Pea. And no thank you, Lavender. I’ll handle it on my own.”

Lav shrugged, not offended in the slightest. She wouldn’t have taken Lily’s soul but she knew that Lily did not trust her enough yet to understand that. Her cutting Sweet Pea down was extremely entertaining as the male witch’s face went from smug to enraged. If she didn’t know any better than she thought there may have been some hurt in between.

Jughead cleared his throat, wanting to throw his name into the hat but also not being confident enough to quite do that. “We have a few weeks before that’s necessary, I think. Fourteen more nights until the next full moon. What else will we need?”

“I have all the other ingredients, Jug.” Lily said with a confident smile, “As long as everyone is at their best then this will work. We just have to make sure everyone is inside the woods or some other safe place during that night.”

The wolf’s eyes moved to Lavender, his question from earlier finally coming to fruition. “Why didn’t you kill the vargulf the other night? You had the chance but you let him go.”

Lavender shifted, pretending to be simply adjusting herself to be more comfortable. In actuality she had been nervous of this being asked. Did she tell them the truth or simply add more to her ever growing web of lies? “It would be against the orders from my master.” Was the best way she could put it.

“Master?” Jughead asked, eyebrows rising at the word. “You have a master?”

The purple haired hybrid sighed. This was not something she ever liked admitting to anyone. “I am indebted to someone. Another demon. She has a hold on me.” She pointed at the faint pentacle on her pulse point of her neck, “She has marked me. And she is the one that I warned you about. She forced me to become pregnant to use my child. If anything were to happen to me or it. She would literally raise hell.”

They all fell silent. The pause was nearly as pregnant as Lavender was. This was more embarrassing for her than not. Admitting she didn’t have much free will was not something any demon wanted to talk about….ever.

Lily looked at her with a doleful expression. “She forced you? She’s going to take them after you have it? Will you ever see them again?”

Lavender did not want to think about that. Her attachment to the growing fetus was getting stronger each day. The thought of Myra taking her daughter from her filled her with despair. She attempted to hide it, and perhaps the two boys didn’t notice, but Lily sure did. After all, she was a mother herself. She knew .

“Yes. She made me drink a potion that made me fertile enough for conception to be possible. My daughter will not belong to me when she is born. As I do not even belong to myself…” The last part came out more sadly that she had meant it to. Even Sweet Pea felt a small spark of sorrow for the demon. It quickly faded and was never thought of again.

Jug bit the inside of his cheek, “I know we made an agreement before about payment, but what if we help you keep your child and gain your freedom? Would you want that?” Lily nodded her head eagerly, wanting nothing more than to keep mother and child together.

The succubus did not like the sound of this. “She will kill you for even thinking that, Jughead Jones. Do not ever say that aloud again. I will not even consider it.” She snapped harshly, her voice extremely stern. “When she is born, my master will take her and will do whatever she so desires. Are we clear? You are not to help me in this matter in any way.”

The wolf sighed, his determination squashed for the time being. “Alright. I won’t. You said daughter? You’re having a girl?”

Lav smiled, taking a small exhale of relief, “yes. I’m destined to have a girl.”

One witch practically squealed with excitement while the other looked bored to tears. Lily was about to say how much fun girls were, but then stopped herself. Lav would probably never know. She nearly started to cry from the rush of despair.

“If that’s all for now.” Lavender said, standing up, “I need to leave. I have an appointment. You have my number.”

Jughead stood, “let me drive you home. I’ll text you later, Lils.” He shot the little witch a toothy grin and a wink before turning to leave with the demon. Sweet Pea’s eyes were but slits as he examined the blush on Lily’s face at the pet name. This was not good. This was not good at all .

Later that night, Lavender and Charlie were visiting the Whyte Wyrm. This was not entirely usual for them as they normally went separate ways after sundown. It just so happened that tonight they had the same destination. Lav needed to feed but Myra had given her a soul late that afternoon. She would be fine for several more hours.

She was at the bar, wearing a black mini dress and stiletto heels. She stirred her Shirley Temple slowly. The red of the grenadine swirling around in the ginger ale. She still had a cheery bobbing on top of the ice.

A familiarly large figure sat down next to her and ordered a beer from the pink haired demon slayer. His dark eyes looked at the demoness through a sideways glance. He eyed her form, the fabric of the dress was skin tight. Again she left nothing to the imagination and he believed she must be there hunting.

“Why did you lie earlier?” He asked as a fresh bottle of beer was set in front of him. He nodded a thank you to the slayer before taking a sip.

Her spine went rigid, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The warlock made a sound of annoyance, something between a scoff and a huff.

“The night we met you were drinking alcohol.” He said. “You said you were pregnant before we were together but now you’re drinking a virgin cocktail. Tell me the fucking truth, am I the father?”

His tone was extremely dangerous and she was worried what a fight with him would cause. It wasn’t often that Lavender feared for her safety, but the mere thought had Myra suddenly appeared in the back of the room, eyeing the situation. The demon princess was quiet and hiding in the shadows. Only Lavender could feel her presence.

“You are.” She confessed. “I thought I’d spare you the trouble of another child.”

There was a dull ache in Sweet Pea’s chest. The fact he was having another kid on top of the fact that he’d never get to see her. He thought he was a boiling kettle about to scream instead of whistle. Lavender forced her nerves to quiet as to not raise attention to herself. “So you thought that I shouldn't know that you’re having my kid? And you’re not even keeping her?!”

“It’s not my choice.” Lavender hissed angrily, her eyes turning black for a moment. “I would not even be in the situation if I had any choice, don’t you fucking understand that?”

The dark witch backed down at the sound of pain in her voice. She thought she had hidden it with anger, but not well enough. Not for him. He knew the feeling all too well. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

Lav’s head turned to look at the stage. Charlie was dancing provocatively on it, showing off to her lover. “She’s with her boyfriend tonight. She wanted a nice ride.”

“So she needs dick but you don’t?” He asked, eyes flashing dangerously as he turned to face her completely.

The succubus shrugged, “dick is abundant and incredibly low in value, witch. When a woman wants it, she simply needs to ask for it. That’s it. Me? I don’t even have to ask. I just have think about it.” She proved her point by flushing the room with her hormones. Almost everyone’s attention then tuned in on her and she smiled with triumph.

Sweet Pea felt the pull stronger than everyone else due to his close proximity. His cock started to harden and he had to bite his tongue for a moment to control himself. He leaned in to whisper to her, voice low. “You won’t be so cocky when I’m making you scream.”

A thrill ran through her and Lavender was almost disgusted with herself. One minute he was borderline scaring her and the next he was trying to seduce her. She felt herself getting whiplash. Myra backed off, understanding that this was some weird courtship ritual she did not understand and that her sex demon was not in any actual duress.

“Is that a promise or a threat?” Lav asked, eyebrow quirked with a matching expression of a curious cat. “Because if I remember correctly, it’s an awful long drive back to Fox Forrest. I don’t think you can hold out that long.”

She put a manicured hand on his knee, thumb rubbing in small circles as she let her influence seep into him. His arousal surged almost painfully through him as he grit his teeth. He didn’t like anyone having this kind of effect on him, much less a demon.

“You don’t deserve to sleep in my bed again, not after what you’ve done.” He said darkly. Her smooth skin was suddenly replaced with gooseflesh. She bit into her lower lip so that she was pouting at him, pretending that what he was saying wasn’t fair when in all honesty it was.

“No?” She countered before taking a sip of her drink and setting it back down. “Then where do you suggest, daddy?” She cooed to him so that only he could hear her voice. “Did Lily ever call you that? Or was she too innocent to let you do the things you really love to do?”

Sweet Pea stiffened. Lily didn’t have much experience with sex so he had to be more...generic than he would have liked. They could have worked up to the kinkier stuff if things had worked out. He wondered if they ever would...Certainly not with the way she was pining over Jughead.

His heart sank for a moment before turning icy. “No.” He replied flatly, “She was boring as shit.”

Lavender giggled, hand creeping up his thigh. She squeezed playfully. “You don’t ever have to hold back with me, Pea. I can take it.”

He stood up abruptly and grabbed her wrist with a bruising grip. As he yanked her past the spot Myra had been spying in, she noticed that the demon princess was gone. Lav let out a sigh of relief, not wanting Myra to witness what was about to go down. She was certain to disapprove.

The demon slayer, Toni, yelled something at Sweet Pea as he stormed past her with his demon in tow. The witch ignored her as he went into the supply closet, forcing Lav inside before slamming the door and locking it from the inside.

He spun her around and grabbed a fist full of hair as he leaned down and kissed her lips so hard that it was almost painful. He forced her against the door, pinning her there as his knee went between her legs. He pulled away abruptly, panting with heated anger. “You think you can come into my town and talk to me this way? Talk about how much you don’t need my dick when I know you’re dripping already from the thought of it?”

He reached down, yanking her dress up and grabbing her crotch to prove his point. She was wet, her lacy panties practically soaked. No one in existence had ever turned her on the way he had. It made her full of want and she absolutely hated him for it. She found herself wishing he was dead.

Life would be much simpler if he was gone.

Sweet Pea wasted no time in ripping off her underwear. The fabric was so thin that it was as simple as opening a can of beer. She kept her weight against the door, unable to speak, fearing for what needy whine might come out of her mouth. Christ, all she wanted in this moment was for him to be inside of her.

His finger was within her core in an instant, “does your master have your tongue too?” He hissed at her before biting her earlobe. “Or can you not concentrate when I’m fingering you? Oh baby girl, you have no idea what you’ve started. I don’t care if you’re pregnant with my kid. I don’t care if you were ordered to take my soul. I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

She knew this was his darkness talking. If he had a soul then she imagined he’d care a little more. However, this wouldn’t be nearly as fun. Her breaths were staccato puffs through her nose as she held onto his denim vest. Her only response was the moan she let out when he added a second finger and started pumping at an insanely fast pace. She could feel the ring around it’s base against her walls.

“That’s it, take my fingers like the whore that you are.” He growled at her, “You just couldn’t wait to get me alone again, could you? You talk such a big game about how you don’t need my cock but as soon as I make the proposition you fall right into my lap. I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

He bit at her neck next as she pulled him closer to her. She couldn’t help the sounds that started to come out of her. Small whines of pleasure as she felt herself climbing higher. Release was imminent and it felt so damn good. The succubus was somehow at a loss for words. Mostly because he had a valid point that sent her into a pit of self loathing. He did have some bizarre effect on her and it was possibly the worst thing to have ever happened to her yet.

A third finger went in and her head lulled onto his shoulder pitifully. She could feel him using magic to enhance her pleasure. It was a dirty cheat. A trick she often used herself but she had never had it used on her . She grabbed at the hair on the nape of his neck, desperate to inflict some kind of pain. She tugged the locks twirled around her fingers aggressively. “You’re….fighting...dirty…” She managed to say between whimpers. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut.

“Telling me the big bad sex demon can’t even take my fingers?” He asked condescendingly. “Are you going to come already? What a fucking slut.”

She pulled his hair again but it had little to no effect on him. He was winning and she could try to grapple for control but the battle was lost and deep down she knew that. By bringing up Lily she had crossed a line that she shouldn’t have crossed and now he was going to make her pay dearly for it.

Lav clenched her teeth together tightly to keep from crying out as her climax was in fact building rather rapidly. His pace seemed inhuman. She’d never lost herself during just foreplay before. This was so humiliating... and she liked it.

“You’re going to come on my fingers and then I’m going to shove them down your throat.” His thumb brushed against her clit for a split second but it was enough to send her crashing over the edge. Volume control was thrown to the wind as she moaned loud enough for Toni outside to hear. The door was rattling on its hinges and she was sure it would break when he finally fucked her.

Sweet Pea did not let her ride it out. He yanked his digits out and just as he said, they were forced into her open mouth. She sucked on them hard, eyes rolling back as she felt like she could no longer stand. He held her up by pinning her hips with his own.

He gagged her with the pads of his fingers and she could feel the anger rolling off of his touch. The witch was full of it. Her lies. Her deception. Her taking his child from him despite the fact that he wasn’t sure if he even wanted it. Not having a choice in being in his second daughter’s life had him so full of rage that he could barely see straight. He was determined to take it all out of her because this was entirely her doing in his eyes. Master or not. Certainly she still had free will. She was a demon after all.

“If you think I’m done with you, slut, then you have another thing coming. Get on your fucking knees.” He released his grip from her, pulling away so that she fell forward, landing onto her knees so hard that pain shook her patellae. Lav cursed under her breath, enjoying this more than she knew she ought to.

He unbuckled his belt and tore it off of him before wrapping it around her throat, threading the end through the buckle and tightening it under she gasped for air. He kept it in one hand while he unbuttoned his pants with the other. He shoved his pants and underwear down so that his cock flopped out, hard and ready. He’d choke her with it too and she’d fucking like it.

Lavender opened her mouth without him even forcing her to. Her gaze was eager and he found himself almost wishing she wasn’t such a willing participant in his torture. He grabbed her hair with his now free hand and knotted it into his fist. He inserted himself inside of her mouth, groaning as the feeling of her tongue against the belly of his shaft. It seemed longer than before, nearly wrapping around him and he realized she was shifting the appendage with her power to make it more serpentine.

She pushed her demonic magic into him, just as he had done her a moment before. He tugged on the edge of the belt and she abruptly halted. Sweet Pea glared down at her hatefully, taking away any last ounce of control she had. Lav, who almost always dominated in sexual situations was suddenly on the bottom of the food chain.

His hips bucked hard into her mouth and she nearly threw up on him from the force of him hitting her gag reflex. The warlock didn’t care and he didn’t stop, thrusting hard into her mouth so that his scrotum smacked her defined chin. Tears streamed out the corners of her eyes as her tongue moved in sync with him. He loosened his grip ever so slightly as he lost an ounce of the control he had. The pleasure he was feeling clouding his aggression.

Lav put her hands on his thighs to keep herself a little more steady although he was holding her in place with his own grip. Between the belt and his dick she could barely breathe. Her heart beat fast and hard in her chest with excitement as she moaned around him.

He suddenly pushed her away and forced her to stand by tugging on the belt. He didn’t want to come just yet and he knew if he continued like that then he would. Plus, he didn’t want to wait any longer before he showed her what he could really do when he put his mind and skill into his favorite pastime.

In the next instant, he had her face pressed against the door and was lining his tip with her ass. “What the fuck-” She breathed out, knowing he was going to go in raw and that it would probably hurt more than she’d like.

“Shut the fuck up.” He ordered before pushing into her. Lav cried out at the sharp pain of him entering her rectum. It wasn’t totally unpleasant, just unexpected. She didn’t mind anal when the guy was small but Sweet Pea definitely wasn’t small. “Fuck your ass is so tight. Guess no one has been in there in a while. Good.”

She wanted to roll her eyes at the stupidity of his statement. While it was true, the amount of anal one had didn’t have anything to do with tightness. He knew that, of course, it was just something to say to her to degrade her further.

“Your cunt is so used out, I don’t want to fuck that anymore.” Lav growled at him lowly, threatening to turn on him if he insulted her much further. He was hip deep inside her but she’d castrate him if he started doing something she truly didn’t want him to.

Sweet Pea understood what she was trying to say. He didn’t apologize for he didn’t care if he offended her or not. She was just some sex crazed whore to him now and that was how he planned on treating her. His hips ploughed into her and the door began to shake again. She swore she heard the wood splinter for a moment after one particularly hard thrust.

Despite the initial pain, Lavender was almost fully immersed into a pool of pleasure now. Her moans had returned, vibrating the door with the echoing sound as her nails dug trails into the old wood. He yanked the belt back, causing her head to be forced back with it.

He reached around and pulled down the top of her sleeveless dress so that her bare breasts were exposed. He grabbed one nipple, fiddled with the hardware of her barbel before pulling roughly. The sensitive spot made her sounds go up an octave as he was effectively breaking her, just as he planned to.

Lav managed to turn her head to the side enough to look at him. His eyes seemed almost pitch black as he was looking down with concentration. He reminded her of a demon almost. Only a demon would not have let her feel any pleasure at all.

He was slamming into her without a shred of care for her well-being. If she had been human then he would have been causing a massive amount of damage not only to her orifice but also to her throat. She was lucky she didn’t need to breathe to survive.

Sweet Pea was lost in his own dark mind, giving into his carnal desires as he moved without a care in the entire world. He’d never been this rough with anyone before. He found himself enjoying it way too much and he had the sudden worry that sex with anyone else just wouldn’t compare.

He was cursing madly as he released into her, Lav was strictly being held up by him at this point and after his orgasm ceased he promptly dropped her to the floor. She collapsed into a muddle of skin, muscle, and bone. “You’re mine now.” He hissed as he redressed. “Don’t ever fucking forget that.” He put his belt back on and moved her out the way before leaving and slamming the door behind him.

Myra appeared, looking down at her little demon with an inspecting gaze. She eyed the bruising around Lavender's throat and tutted. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more pathetic, you let a human walk all over you. Pull yourself together, we’re going home.”

Lav was so numb that she couldn’t feel anything. She sat up, collecting herself and the shards of her dignity that had been laying on the floor there with her. She pulled her dress back up over her chest before pulling it down over her naked genitals. She had to use the nearby shelving unit to pick herself up off the floor. She couldn’t look at Myra, not with the amount of shame she had in her heart for what had just happened.

When she left the room her head was high as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. The demon slayer was starting at her and Myra, weary of their presence and the whirlwind that was Sweet Pea now storming through the bar. 

Once home everything was as it was before and Lavender was alone. 

Tags: @the-gargoyle-queen​, @southside-vixen​, @princesweetpea​, @lilhemmo​, @wayward-river​, @redhairdontcare732​  (comment/ask/message if you want to be added or subscribe to AO3)

[maaaddiexo]

Chapter Eighteen | Peter Pevensie

[Red Series Book One: Roses]

Synopsis: With World War Two ravaging the world, no one is safe and no one is happy.

Despite their protests, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie are evacuated from London and sent to live in the English countryside with an old professor. Scared and unhappy, only the youngest Pevensie child remains optimistic and ends up sharing her hope with her siblings in the form of a wardrobe that takes them to Narnia, a different world where they are the only form of hope to bring an end to an evil witch's reign of terror.

Rosemary Bennett has no more hope left in her heart. Her brother and father are off fighting for their country, the former having gone missing months ago, and her mother ignores her, preferring the company of a bottle over her own daughter. Giving up seems the only logical plan of action. But when it finally comes to carrying it out, she's transported to a different world, with talking animals and a prophecy that doesn't involve her. Unsure as to why she is there, she must navigate a new world and ponder the possibility that maybe - just maybe - she doesn't actually want to die.

*Warning: this book deals with depression and suicide. Though mental illness isn't what this story revolves around, the act of suicide and depressive thoughts are intertwined with the plot and act as 'backseat drivers' to the novel.

[Final Chapter] [Series Masterlist] [Masterlist]

Dear Peter,

Obviously, the existence of this letter proves I am alive back in England. Perhaps one day I will tell you the story of how I lived. It's been two weeks since I came back to England and I wanted to write to you sooner but I just didn't know what to say to you. I'm finally able to sort out my thoughts enough to write them down.

I hope you are enjoying your time as King. I don't know how much time will have passed when you finally return to England for this letter - if you ever do return - but know that I miss you all so much. And while a part of me wishes I could have spent more time with Edmund, Susan, and Lucy that last night, I don't regret the time I spent with you. I went to town and bought a journal that I hide under my mattress. In it, I'm writing about everything I can remember about Narnia. The people, the memories (good and bad), and the change we all experienced. While I would have preferred the ice not breaking on us by the waterfall, it has made me realize that it's impossible to avoid water for my entire life and am hoping to learn.

There are so many things I have to tell you and fortunately, most of them are good. The moment I returned home I ripped up my suicide letter to my mother and burned it. Then I rid the house of all the alcohol I could find. She was upset but she's better now. She's still empty and doesn't speak much, but she comes down for meals when I call her and we've been reading together in the sitting room. I contemplated telling her about Narnia but figured she might think I've gone crazy so I decided against it. I also never told her about my plan. It's in the past permanently and would do more harm than good at this point.

Also, my brother returned from war three days ago! I'm so happy Daniel is okay. Immediately I sent out a letter to my father to let him know but I don't think he has gotten it yet. As I told you during my last night in Narnia, Daniel lied on his enlistment form because he was too young. It seemed someone finally found out. Instead of reporting him, they told him to find his own way back home and re-enlist when he was old enough, which isn't for another six months, so I have at least six months to spend time with him.

There is one more piece of good news I have to share. Do you remember the necklace that Santa Claus gave me? Somehow, it came back to England with me. I don't know how and I don't need to know. But even better - it finally broke! I now have two rings. Oddly enough, one of them fits me perfectly. I still keep it hidden on the chain beneath my clothes so nobody will ask about it. In this envelope, you will find the other ring. It's for you. Hopefully, it at least fits your pinky finger, Mr. Sausage Fingers.

Santa Claus said that the second ring would go to someone who would always remind me that I would never be alone. But I think he got that wrong. After returning to England, I realized that only I could ever remind myself that I am not alone, but it is through other people that I realized this. Those people make me feel more at home and thus, not alone. And you, Peter Pevensie, are the best reminder of home - whether that is here in England or back in Narnia. When I first arrived in Narnia I felt empty and cold (and not because of the weather). But you and your siblings welcomed me into your small family and made me feel whole again. You made me realize I am not alone and for that, I will forever be thankful. Maybe one day I can thank you in person.

Yours truly, -Rose

[Final Chapter] [Series Masterlist] [Masterlist]

[langdvnshepherd]

Good For You ~ Part 4 (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)

PART ONE ~ PART TWO ~ PART THREE

Summary: You’re a broke ass college student whose one night stand with the infamous Duncan Shepherd leads to the development of a rather interesting relationship between the two of you. — Duncan puts you in an uncomfortable situation that leaves you torn between confessing your truth or walking away from it all.

Word Count: 9.8k (I’m sooo sorry omg)

Warnings: sugar daddy!Duncan, fem!reader, angst, smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), daddy kink

A/N: Sorry it took so long, but here it is! The final chapter (blowing nose emoji). It’s long as hell so I’m kinda sorry about that, but I just had a lot I wanted to include! Also even though it’s deadass like a novel, I still feel like I kinda rushed it?? idk lmk your thoughts I guess. I’ve loved writing this series and I’m sad to see it go, but it’s definitely time to move on lmao. I want to give another shoutout to @avesatanormalpeoplescareme for the inspiration for this chapter you truly saved my life again! Also to @belusima (she doesn’t know it but I left her a lil surprise in here hehehe). I barely proofread this and wrote most of it literally at 5 o’clock this morning so if you notice any major mistakes pls don’t roast me. Thank you all so much for the notes and kind words regarding this fic and my other work! I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. (gif credit to m-langdon666)

     Three aggressively persistent knocks on your door sent you jolting out of bed one morning. It was early, at least to you. Maybe your roommate stayed out last night and was finally coming home, but other than that you had no idea who could possibly need your attention at this hour. Rising from your bed with a loud yawn and stretch, you reluctantly made your way out of bed and towards the door of your tiny apartment. You must not have been moving fast enough for their liking, because three more rattles on the cracked paint of your front door echoed throughout the apartment not long after the first.

     “I’m coming! Jesus,” you muttered, picking up your pace and swiftly running to the door. As you passed the mirror in your hallway, you catch a glimpse of your current state: hair knotted from tossing side to side on your pillow, eyelids puffy from sleep, nipples peaking through the thin fabric of your thin, ratty university t-shirt in the cool air of your apartment. Definitely not presentable by any means, but whoever was beating on your door at this ungodly hour needs your attention and they need it now.

     Fully expecting to see your roommate on the other side, you unlatched the chain lock and forcefully flung the door open. She was really in for it thinking she could stay out all night and come home whenever she pleased, waking up the entire building as she did. Ready to lecture her about leaving her keys at home and the danger she puts herself in by partying through the morning at frat houses, you were instead greeted by a different set of eyes. 

     “Duncan?”

     The morning sun pierced through the shade of aqua, turning them an almost glacier-blue shade in the light. He had one arm propped against the door frame, the other rubbing against on the scruff on his neck. Clad head to toe in the most expensive black coat and pants money could buy, he looked so obscure standing in the doorway of your tiny, run-down apartment building. But nonetheless, he looked perfect. Upon hearing your voice, he perked up instantly and the word vomit began.

     “Y/N. Is this a good time?” The way his leg was anxiously twitching made you think his question was more of a courtesy, and that he was coming in whether you responded or not. 

     “Uhh,” looking down at your bare feet and legs, you crossed your arms across your chest hoping to mask your horrendous appearance from Duncan as much as possible, “Yeah, come in.” You stepped away from the entrance and he swiftly entered your living room, making sure to shut and lock the door behind him.

     “I’m about to ask you to do something, and I need you to help me out. Okay?” In this moment, both you and Duncan realized he had never been inside of your apartment. He took in the setup before him, recognizing pieces scattered throughout the space that he had purchased for you. An Oscar de la Renta coat hanging on the rack by the door, your Macbook resting open on the side table by the sofa, the high-end coffee maker he’d sent you after casually mentioned your old one had finally bit the bullet. It looked exactly the way he’d pictured it, bits and pieces of luxury scattered amongst the dingy, outdated furniture and appliances.

     “Okayy?” you responded, although it came out as more of a question than an answer. You’d never seen Duncan look so distraught before. He was pacing back and forth like he might explode if he stood in place for too long.

     “I got a phone call this morning,” he began. “Apparently, the lady in charge of our family’s finances saw my bank statement from our little... trip to Paris and got suspicious. She went digging and found everything. For whatever fucking reason, she took it upon herself to alert my mother. Thought maybe my card got stolen or something. Why she thought that was my mother’s business I have no fucking clue. So, I have spent the better half of this morning trying to make sure my mother didn’t have a stroke from how mad she was when she found out." Blood rushed to his face as he babbled on, his neck turning an irritated shade of pink. 

     You stood there, leaning against the arm of the sofa, legs crossed in front of you, still holding your arms in front of your chest. You were trying to process what Duncan had just said, but you were still fairly confused. His mother had found out about you. Did this mean he came here to call it off? Why would she be mad? Duncan is a grown man that can spend his money as he pleases.

     “And sooo what is it that you need me to do exactly?” 

     Duncan took a deep breath before finally turning to face you head on. He had been too apprehensive to look you in the eyes from the minute he walked into your living room. “She backed me into a corner. She kept asking if I’m being blackmailed for money or if I’ve been hiring hookers and I didn’t really know how to explain it to her without it being completely fucking embarrassing so I just told her that I’ve been seeing someone. Then she freaked out. Said she wanted to meet whoever it was. Told me to bring them to the event we’re having this weekend.”

     You cocked your eyebrow at him, still not understanding.

     “Y/N, I wouldn’t be here this early in the morning if it wasn’t important. I need you to go to that event with me...and pretend we’re together. Just for my mother’s sake. We don’t have to stay long, just long enough to say a couple words to her. Prove that you’re real. Then we can go and I’ll never ask you to do something like this ever again. Whatever you want, consider it yours. I just need you to do this. For me.” The pleading look in Duncan’s eyes was almost comical. He was scared of his mother. It was clear at that moment that he cared way too much about what his mother thinks for someone his age. For what reason, you weren’t sure.

     “I...uh...wow, Duncan.” You felt a twinge in your stomach that was hard to explain. Maybe it was just nerves from having all of this sprung on you just moments after waking up, or maybe it was because the thought of pretending to be Duncan Shepherd’s girlfriend for a night was enough to make you hurl. Your feelings about Duncan were becoming harder and harder to ignore since Paris, and you weren’t sure how doing this would make you feel afterward.

     “I’m not sure I can...I don’t know if-”

     “I know. I fucked up. But please don’t make me beg.” It felt like he was staring into your soul. He had never looked this desperate in the entire time you’d known him. You really wanted to be hesitant, to say no. It wasn’t a good idea, it didn’t do anything to help your situation. But who were you kidding, he could have asked anything of you, and you would have come running.

     “Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just tell me what I need to do and I’ll be there.”

     Duncan let out a loud sigh and closed his eyes in relief. “Thank you. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll have someone drop off a dress, just be ready by 7 on Saturday.”

     “Okay,” you replied, unsure of saying anything else.

     “Okay,” he repeated, satisfied with your compliance. “I’ll see you then.” Duncan approached you, taking your elbows in his hands. It was a gentle, gesture of gratitude, but it made your stomach flip.

     “Thank you. Again. I mean it.” He rubbed circles on your arms as he spoke. You looked up to meet his eyes once again, his gaze making your heart rate skyrocket. 

     You nodded in response, casually rolling your shoulders to shake yourself out of Duncan’s grasp. He took this as an opportunity to leave, making his way towards the door as his dress shoes tapped against the vinyl floor. He turned his back to take one last look at you before leaving.

     “See ya,” you called out. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, a slight smile appearing on his face.

     “Bye, Y/N,” he all but whispered as he shut the door behind him and went about his day.

-

     You sat in the limo more or less pondering your entire life, and how you’d ended up in this situation. If you would have told yourself 5 years ago, hell, even a year ago that you’d be in this position, you’d laugh at how insane you sounded. Not only had you accidentally found a sugar daddy, if that’s what you want to call it, but you’d also managed to catch feelings for him. Where he once was nothing more than a business arrangement, he now encompassed nearly your every thought. 

     There was a war going on inside your brain. Part of you wanted things to go back to the way they were when Duncan called on you once a week to fuck and sent you expensive gifts afterward. No strings attached, just fucking. The other part of you wanted clarity, to know how Duncan felt. If you confessed your feelings, would Duncan reciprocate? Could the two of you actually be together? If you weren’t on the same page, would he break it off? Cut you out of his life and leave you a broke, struggling college student? 

     The conversation you had with your roommate just minutes before Duncan arrived in the limo echoed in the back of your mind.

     “You HAVE to tell him how you feel,” she exclaimed, with a little more sass than you were expecting.

     “It’s not that simple!” you argued back. 

     You had finally let her in on everything that had happened with Duncan. The incident with the frat boy, the trip to Paris, that drunken night, the stolen glances, the event you were about to attend and pretend to be his girlfriend for the night. She was convinced Duncan felt the same way you did, but you weren’t sold on the idea.

     “But it is though! Come on, Y/N. What you said makes perfect sense. He likes you. He has to. When all of this shit started, it was strictly business. I remember. But now he’s acting all weird and shit and it just doesn’t add up. He either likes you or he’s been buttering you up to kill you this entire time.”

     “That’s not funny.”

     “Yeah, well, neither are you with your little ‘poor me’ attitude. You should just tell him how you feel. What’s the worst thing that would happen? He doesn’t feel the same, and he breaks it off. I highly doubt you would ever run into him again. Plus, think about what would happen if he liked you too. You wouldn’t have to hide in his apartment or in hotel rooms every night. You could actually spend time with him outside of the pillow talk you have right before you leave. And I mean I know this might be a sensitive subject buuttttt...imagine all of the shit he would buy you if you were actually dating. I mean we’re probably talki-”

     “Okay, that’s enough. Thanks. I get it.” Her rambling made you feel ill. Maybe she had a point. For something that started out so harmless, it was now eating you alive. “I just don’t see it ever working out. I’m a college student who barely has her shit together and he’s apparently a member of the most influential fucking family in America besides the goddamn president. We don’t go together,” you babbled, emphasizing your points with elaborate hand gestures.

     “Tell you what,” your roommate started, “This...event? Is it?” You gave her a confirming nod from your place at the end of your bed. “Okay, so if you’re pretending to be Duncan’s girlfriend tonight, why don’t you just multitask and figure out whether or not you’d even want to be with him? You’ll be out with him in public, where everyone can see. You’re getting to meet his mother. It’ll be like you’re actually together. If it goes well and you could see yourself doing something like this again, you should tell him how you feel. If you hate it, you should break it off. You shouldn’t let a man take up this much of your time if he’s making you feel like this.”

     Damn, why was she always right?

     A gentle squeeze on your kneecap drew you from your thoughts. You looked up to see Duncan staring at you from his side of the limo with concern washed over his features.

     “You okay?” he asked. “You’re looking a little spaced out.”

     “Yeah,” you enthusiastically nodded, hoping to put up a persuasive front and not let Duncan know the internal chaos going on in your body. “Just a little nervous.”

     “Me too. It shouldn’t be that bad though. Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll try to do most of the talking. My mother will probably ask you what you do or what your thoughts are about the wine selection. Whatever you do, just try not to mention the...nature of our relationship.” 

     And what exactly is the nature of our relationship? you thought to yourself.

     You absentmindedly picked at the beading on your gown as the limo ascended the winding, cobblestone driveway of the venue. It was a country club of some sorts, so you were dressed to the nines. The dress Duncan had picked out for you was modest enough to meet his mother in, yet showed off just enough skin to still make you feel sexy. 

    Duncan seemed to think so too, given that his eyes nearly fell out of his head when he picked you up at your apartment building. He knew he had good taste, but he was always taken back by how beautiful you looked.

     As the limo came to a halt, Duncan was the first out. He quickly straightened out his suit and made his way over to your side of the car, opening the door for you like the gentleman he was.

      “Ready?” he questioned, placing both of his hands on your shoulders to smooth out the creases in your gown from the ride over. It was a gentle and soothing gesture that made your heart beat in your ears.

      You looked him up and down one last time before looping your arm around his. He looked perfect, as always. Dressed in all black, and not a hair on his curly head out of place. It was styled differently this time, quaffed back instead of resting to the side. His scruff had been cleaned up around the edges, meaning he was really trying to make an impression on his mother with you by his side.

      “Ready.”

      You joined Duncan at the elbow and waltzed into the french doors of one of the largest country clubs you’ve ever seen, unsure of where the night would lead you.

-

     The ballroom of the country club must have been bigger than your entire childhood home. The ceilings felt like they were 50 feet high, and there was a waiter stationed at least every 10 steps to cater to your every need. Duncan escorted you straight to the bar, claiming that you both needed at least one drink before doing anything or speaking to anyone.

     He was nervous like you, and you could tell, but of course, he had different reasons. It was clear by the way he acted in your apartment that he cared a great deal what his mother thought of him, and impressing her was on the top of his list. Maybe she’d have his ass for spending so much money on a young girl such as yourself, but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it as to how that could be. You’d settled on the idea that perhaps he just had a close relationship with his mother, and that he’d do anything to stay in her good graces.

     As you nursed the cocktail Duncan had ordered for you (Which was fucking incredible by way. Why was he so good at everything?), your eyes wandered around the spacious room. There had to have been at least 200 people in the room, and more than a handful of them were familiar faces. You’d read about them, learned about them in class. They were infamous lobbyists, members of Congress, even a member of the Presidental Cabinet you’d managed to pick out amongst the crowd. This was his circle, the big dogs he ran with. You began to feel extremely overwhelmed and claustrophobic, the energy of the room becoming overbearing. How could you ever be with Duncan when this is what he did for a living?

     Just as you were about to excuse yourself to the bathroom for a proper panic session, Duncan’s grip on your arm tightened exponentially. Turning to him to see what was wrong, you noticed a small-framed, brunette woman making her way towards you with an ear-to-ear grin plastered on her face.

     “Well, well, well. Look who decided to finally show up!” The woman took both sides of Duncan’s face in her hands and pressed short, brief kisses on each of his cheeks. You weren’t sure who she was, but you had the inkling this was the woman of the hour. The one you’d been waiting to meet. Although she didn’t resemble Duncan in the slightest, the way Duncan’s jaw was tightened and the short breaths he was taking made you certain that she was an important figure.

     “Hi, mom,” the words slipped past his lips, almost in a mumble.

     “I was beginning to think I’d never find you in this place! You know I really like this venue, I think we should keep it in-“ by this time she was rambling about things beyond your grasp of knowledge. Something about the app you’d heard Duncan mention plenty of times before but could never wrap your head around, something about crowd-funding and one specific congressman you’d heard about from a tax-evasion scandal on tv. It sent you further into your spiral of anxiety. It must have been pretty obvious, because Duncan then unthreaded his arm from yours and moved it to rest on your hip, pulling you closer towards him to steady your shaking. He ran his hand up and down your side against the embellished fabric, it was calming to you but it was more for himself at that moment. He was nodding at every word that left his mother’s mouth, even though he could barely focus on her words himself.

     “-anyways. Enough of all of that. Were you going to introduce me or were you just gonna let her stand there all night with her hip glued to yours?”

     Your stomach dropped as you peered up at the woman. She was looking you up and down, taking in your form. You checked yourself one more time, making sure you hadn’t spilled something on your elaborate gown or had lipstick in your teeth. This was it. Time to put on a show.

     “Mom, this is Y/N.” Duncan’s features softened slightly as the mention of your name, a smile ghosting over his lips. He continued to run his hands up and down your side as he introduced you, a crutch for both you and him.

     “It’s lovely to meet you, Miss Y/N. I hope you’re finding this evening to be worth your while. We put a lot of work into this event, so I hope everyone has a good time.” She extended her hand to you, and you reciprocated, giving her a firm shake.

     “This place is incredible, Ms. Shepherd. Thank you so much for inviting me,” you stated in the most uppity voice you could manage. A beauty pageant smile adorned your face, sure to fool anyone.

     “Oh please, call me Annette!” She placed her hand over heart in exclamation.

     “Well, it’s great to finally meet you, Annette.” Duncan watched the two of you interact intently, ready to interject at the split second something could go wrong.

     “Duncan’s not told me much about you. What you do? Where are you from? Tell me all about yourself! You’ve got to be some kind of special if Duncan’s spending more money on you than he is on himself.”

     She wasn’t nearly as intimidating as you’d imagined. Sure, you were nervous as hell that she’d ask you a personal question about Duncan you didn’t know the answer to, and you were nervous about the decision you’d have to make by the end of the night (to confront him about your feelings or walk away from it all), but there was nothing about this woman that was particularly menacing.

     You cut your eyes to Duncan before parting your lips to speak. He gave your side a quick squeeze, letting you know you were going to be fine.

     “I, umm...I’m a student at Georgetown. I grew up kinda far away from here actually. I don’t have any family here or anything-“

     “That’s actually how we met, isn’t it, Y/N? At Georgetown? That symposium about higher education and research?” The cock of his eyebrow pleading for you to catch the hint.

     “Yeah, it was,” you shot him another glance and a toothy smile, slowly becoming more comfortable in Annette’s presence thanks to Duncan.

     “Aren’t you two just the cutest!?” Annette professed. “If I remember correctly, that symposium was forever ago. How come I’m only just now finding out about you?”

     Both you and Duncan swallowed the lump in your throat. You racked your brain for an excuse, anything to get her off this line of questioning. Thank god for Duncan’s smooth tongue, because you were at a loss for words.

     “We’ve just been taking it slow. Didn’t want to rush anything. We’re both pretty busy so we just haven’t really had the time to take any extra steps.” He spoke so calmly as if he’d been practicing how he would answer this exact question. He was her son, after all, surely he was aware of the kinds of things she’d be asking about.

     “Well, I hope you can make it out to another event soon. I think there’s a gala in the works for next month. Or maybe you can convince Duncan to come back to his mother’s house and we can have a proper get-together over a nice dinner. He never comes to see me outside of work anymore. I’m sure you’re busy with school, but I’d love to see more of you,” Annette gave an earnest smile to the two of you.

     “Of course, I’d love that,” you flashed your pearly whites at Annette and looked up one more time at Duncan. His face had completely softened when looking into your eyes. You caught a flicker of a spark behind his ocean blue’s, unsure of what it meant.

     “If you guys don’t mind, I actually just spotted one of the potential top donors for tonight. I’m gonna squeeze on by and say hello before he gets too drunk and has to be escorted out,” Annette tensed up in amusement and disappeared in the masses.

     Duncan exhaled audibly as soon as she went out of his line of vision. He turned to face you, now resting both hands at your hips.

     “Thank you. So much.”

     “No problem. It wasn’t that bad. She’s not nearly as terrifying as you made her out to be,” you said with a few chuckled in between sentences. You really didn’t know why Duncan made her out to be this big, bad, scary monster. She behaved like any other mother would in her situation. She hardly batted an eyelash when you told her you were still in school, and didn’t ask anything that was particularly worrisome. There was nothing out of the ordinary of her in your eyes. As far as you were concerned, she seemed pretty satisfied.  

     “Yeah, well, maybe if she raised you you’d know how hard it is to make her happy. She was either lying her ass off just then, or she was actually impressed. I genuinely don’t think she was lying, didn’t see any of her tell-tale signs, but then again she never fails to surprise me,” a blush covered Duncan’s cheeks and he scratched the back of his neck as he spoke.

     You quietly nodded back at him, unsure of how to respond.

     “Anyways, how about we actually enjoy ourselves now that my mother is under control? I can show you around if you’d like.”

     “Sounds like a wonderful idea.”

-

     How you’d ended up outdoors, propped against the lip of an Olympic-sized, cascading water fountain was beyond you. To your chagrin, Duncan excused himself to talk to one of his business partners, claiming he’d only be a second. Seconds turned to minutes, and by now it must have been about 15 since he’d left your side. You took a couple turns down a never-ending hallway and somehow managed to find the doors leading to the garden. There were topiaries galore, and greenery covering nearly every square inch of the back yard. It was peaceful compared to the medley of booming voices indoors. 

     You took some time to reflect on the night, weighing out the pros and cons of what you were going to do. You hadn’t forgotten the way Duncan had been looking at you all night, it almost resembled the way you look at him. His eyes flutter like he was looking at something precious. The way he always kept one hand on you at all times was not unlost on you either. You wanted to believe it was genuine, but you had convinced yourself it was all part of his act. To sell this fake relationship to his mother and to everyone else in the room. 

     On the other hand, you were actually having a fun night. Duncan had led you throughout the country club, showing you the various rooms whilst talking shit about almost everyone in attendance. When you went back for more drinks, you caught Annette’s eye again. She gave you a cheerful wave and tilted her glass of wine towards you. You’d even introduced yourself to your favorite journalist, gushing over her latest work. 

     Your pondering was cut short when you heard the rustling of bushes not far from where you were resting. You were about to have company or you were about to be brutally murdered by some creep that had been hiding out. 

     When your vision cleared, you realized it was a man. He looked vaguely familiar from far away, maybe he was another famous public figure that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He was dressed in a tuxedo, and his swagger was way too arrogant for your taste. Whoever he was, he was coming your way. You weren’t prepared for what was about to happen next.

     “Y/N? Is that you?” 

     His voice immediately sent shivers down your spine. You knew exactly who this man was. The two of you had a history, and not a good one. A few months before you met Duncan at the hotel bar, you’d had a little rendezvous with him. A couple times actually. Like Duncan, he had coaxed you back to the hotel more than once. You abruptly cut it off after finding out about his backwards, conservative rhetoric. You discovered via the internet that he was everything you despised, and you couldn’t even stand to look him in the eyes. He was a higher up for some media company that had tried to win you over multiple times by bragging about how much money he had. You never accepted a dime apart from the drinks he’d let you run up on his tab. He was repulsive, which you had told him the night you broke it off. It ended in him calling you a gold-digging whore that cared about no one but herself. Definitely not a ladies man to say the least. 

     You weren’t sure how to react, so you stayed put, straightening out the bottom of your gown that had been folded under your legs. Why the fuck was he even here? Of all of the people you could have run into, of course, it had to be him. 

     “Should have known you would have found your way into one of these. Tons of rich guys you can fuck around with and use for your own benefit,” he scoffed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat. He smelled like bourbon, and you could see the drunken blush that covered his entire face even from the faint glow of the water fountain lights.

     “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You kept your eyes glued to your heels, praying for him to walk away or for someone to come to your rescue.

     “Oh come on, Y/N. We both know that’s not true.”

     “You’re just mad that I refused to blow you after I found out your company is one of the top donors to the NRA,” you fired back. “Plus, it’s not like I was missing out on anything special when I called it off.”

     His jaw clenched, clearly infuriated. You realized maybe it wasn’t the best idea to get into it with a grown man that was at least a head taller than you outside, in the dark, where no one could see or hear. When he took another step towards you, you flinched.

     “Listen here, you fucking slut-”

     “Y/N?!”

     You had never been more thankful to hear Duncan’s voice in your entire life. He all but broke out into a sprint trying to reach you. Mumbling a quick, “Thank god,” to yourself, Duncan finally caught up to you.

     “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! I was starting to think you ditched me or something,” Duncan said with a hearty chuckle.

     “No fucking way. You’re here with Shepherd?!” the man beside you ragged. Duncan hadn’t paid any attention to him until just then. 

     “Do you two know each other, Y/N?” Duncan looked at you both with raised eyebrows and his lips turned down in disgust.

     “Umm...we-” you started, scrambling to find the right words.

     “We do. Quite well, actually,” said the foul man cut you off. “You better watch your back around her, Dunc. She’s trouble. Only cares about herself. She’s nothing but a gold-digging whore that’ll leave you high and dry after she gets what she needs. I’ve seen her do it, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’ll do it again.” 

     He jabbed his finger at you aggressively as he spoke, like he intended to shove you back. Before he got any closer, Duncan was immediately in-between the two of you. Duncan’s nostrils flared and his chest was poking out, mere seconds from snapping. 

     "Duncan, can we please just go,” you whispered from behind him.

     Duncan looked over his shoulder at you, giving you a brief head nod. 

     “You should probably get the fuck out of here,” Duncan spat at the man. “Unless you want your face plastered on the cover of every fucking newspaper in D.C., I suggest you never show your face to me ever again. The press loves a juicy story, and I’d be glad to give them one that’ll burn your company to the fucking ground.”

     He gave Duncan one last snarl before stomping off in defeat like a dog with its tail between its legs. When he was gone, Duncan gripped you by the elbow and led you out of the backyard, going around the side of the building instead of through the inside. He was quiet the whole time, and you were scared to know why.

-

     The car ride was silent, for the most part. Duncan revealed he went to the same university as the man from earlier. They were rivals, always going for each other’s throats whenever it was possible. Aside from that, not much else was said. You could tell Duncan was bothered by what happened, but you didn’t know if it was directed at you or the man. He kept rubbing his hands up his cheeks and jaw and had his body turned away from you, leaning on the window. 

     You had to face the music. After everything that just happened, was tonight the best time to confess your feelings? Were you even certain about what you wanted anymore? Sure, Duncan was great, but could you keep up with his lifestyle? The confrontation between you and the media mogul caused you enough anxiety to last a lifetime, and you certainly never wanted to have to do that shit ever again. 

     You’d told yourself the same thing one million times before. He’s a grown man, it would logistically never work out. Especially after this. 

     “Duncan,” you started, ready to shatter your hopes and dreams.

     He turned in your direction, the same, exhausted look on his face.

     “I don’t think this is gonna work out.”

     “What do you mean?” he asked, his facial expression quickly changing to one of confusion.

     “This. Us. All of it. I don’t want to do it anymore,” each word out of your mouth wedged the blade deeper and deeper into your chest.

     Duncan just stared at you, his face unreadable. His chest began to move more rapidly, but he stayed quiet. The silence lasted what felt like an eternity, damn near making you want to jump out of the moving limo.

     “Say something, Duncan. Please,” you pleaded.

     “Guess he was right, huh?” Duncan’s voice was low, like he was trying to steady himself without cracking.

     “What?”

     “That guy. When he said you take what you want and then you leave. You’re doing it right now. Aren’t you? You got what you wanted. The money, the clothes, the trips. You got caught, and now you’re running.”

     You couldn’t do anything but stare at Duncan with your mouth agape. He was really accusing you of being a gold-digger. If he only knew you stopped caring about the money months ago.

     “Are you fucking serious? You don’t actually believe what that piece of shit said, do you? You said it yourself, he’s a narcissistic asshole. He was fucking lying.” You argued, highly offended that Duncan would even say such a thing.

     “Honestly, I don’t know anymore. I can never figure you out. One minute it’s like you couldn’t care less about me, the next you look at me like you want something way more than a fuck. I’m not sure I can handle any more either.”

     There it was. The twist of the knife. It was ironic, really. Under any other circumstances, you might have thought Duncan was confessing his feelings for you. What he had just said was a mirror image of your inner thoughts, how you’ve been feeling about him for months. But the way he said it was so condescending, so hurtful, that you knew that wasn’t the case. He wanted nothing to do with you anymore.

     A stray tear managed to slide down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away with the flick of your finger.

     “Okay then,” you sighed, truly devastated that the man you had grown to care about so deeply thought so poorly of you. “Anything else you wanna add? Any more bullshit you wanna spew before you never hear from me again?”

     Duncan could barely hold eye contact with you. He was just as crushed as you were, only you didn’t know it. He kept his head tilted down, opting for silence.

     “Stop the car, please!” you called to the driver. 

     “Y/N, what are you doing?” Duncan rolled his eyes at you.

     “Going home. I don’t want to be in the car with you anymore.”

     The limo’s brakes screeched as the driver veered off to the sidewalk of the busy street. You gathered the bottom of your heavy gown in your hands and shoved your body out of the vehicle.

     “Y/N, stop being stupid. It’s late, it’s not safe. Let me drop you off, please,” Duncan called from the rolled-down window of the limo.

     “I’ll figure it out, Duncan. I’m not your responsibility anymore” you fired back. “You don’t have to ‘take care’ of me. I was fine before you, and I’ll be fine after you.”

     Your heels clanked against the uneven pavement as you walked away from Duncan and all of the baggage that came with him. In the heat of the moment, you were too fired up to not rub it in his face one last time how wrong he was. You turned back to see the limo still parked on the sidewalk, Duncan watching you. Perfect. Trudging back over to the car, you gave Duncan one last piece of your mind.

     “And by the way, asshole, I never did ANY of this for the money.”

     Adrenaline coursed through your veins, making you too wired to wait for Duncan’s reaction. You barged off into the dark of the city, this horrible, humiliating night being the only way you would remember Duncan for a long time.

-

     Months had passed since you had removed Duncan from your life. There wasn’t much left of your time together, your roommate insisted the two of you burn most of the shit he had bought you, lingerie included. 

     You did keep some things, however. Without Duncan’s money, you were back to being strapped for cash and trying your hardest to hit overtime at the coffee shop. You couldn’t afford to go out and buy a new laptop or replace the coffee maker, so he still popped into your mind from time to time. 

     School was going great, to your surprise. You were on track to graduate in just a handful of weeks, had good grades, and a positive outlook on your future. You even got accepted to conduct research with the head of your department in grad school next semester, which is how you’d once again ended up at that damned hotel for another university sanctioned gala in honor of their top students.

     You clung to the wall with your eyes peeled for Duncan. You weren’t going to let him sneak up on you like he had done all of those months before. You’d triple checked the pamphlet for tonight’s event, The Shepherd Freedom Foundation was the featured guest speaker for tonight, so you knew either him or Annette would be making an appearance. The particular corner you had set up base in gave you the perfect view of the entire ballroom, so you were sure to catch Duncan the second he entered the room.

-

     It wasn’t Duncan, nor was it Annette that took the stage. It was some man you’d never seen or heard Duncan ever talk about, so you were relieved, to say the least. Settling on the idea that Duncan had ditched tonight, you could finally let out the breath you’d been holding in ever since you waltzed through the revolving doors of the lobby.

     The gala had slowed, guests clearing out, music dying down. You found it best to leave, but not before heading to the bathroom one last time. The restrooms in the train station were filthy, and you wouldn’t be caught dead using one of them. 

     On your way out, you bumped chests with someone. Hard. The force sent both of you flying back at least a foot or two.

     “Holy shit. I am SO sorry,” you called out, still not being able to see properly.

     “It’s fine. I should have been watching where I was goi-”

     You tilted your head up, wondering why the stranger had stopped talking so suddenly.

     “Duncan,” you puffed. Of fucking course. Just as you thought you’d made it out unscathed.

     “Y/N.” Duncan looked like he had seen a ghost. “How have you been?”

     “Why do you care? I thought you couldn’t ‘handle me’ anymore. Isn’t that what you said?” you smarted off.

     “Please don’t be like this,” Duncan started, already tired of your attitude. “If you have a minute, I’d love to talk to you about that night. There are some things I need to get off my chest.”

     “Duncan, I really don’t have a minute. Save it, honestly. I got your message the first time. No need to rub it in again.”

     “That’s not it, Y/N. I want to apologize. I was a dick. For no reason. Come up to my room and give me 20 minutes to explain myself. That’s all I’m asking for.”

    You were ready to thwart him off again, hurl another insult at him. But the look on his face, the sincerity, made you hesitate. “It really isn’t worth it,” you thought to yourself, but seeing Duncan in the flesh opened the floodgates, your heart swelling full of emotion once more. Even if nothing came of what Duncan had to say, knowing you let him speak his mind made you think there could finally be some kind of clarity.

-

     An overwhelming feeling of deja-vu consumed you. You felt like you’d been in this exact position, better yet, you knew you had been in this exact position before. Leaning against the sturdy dresser of the hotel room while Duncan sat in the armchair in the corner of the room by the window. Only the last time, it was under completely different circumstances.

     “You wanted to apologize, right? I’m listening,” you didn’t have long until the trains stopped running, so 20 minutes was really all you had. 

     “Y/N...What I said to you that night. Was shitty. Uncalled for. I shouldn’t have let what that guy said get to me, but I did. You’re right, he is a narcissistic asshole. I know you would never do something like that. He was just jealous. Always has been ever since I can remember.”

     “No shit, Duncan. If you would have let me talk that night, I would have told you the truth. He never bought me anything besides drinks. That’s it. I called it off because he’s as disgusting as you said he is. I’ve never gone as far with anyone as I have with you.”

     “I know,” Duncan whispered. His nerves were building, you could sense it from the slight changes in his composure that you once picked up on all that time ago.

     “Then why did you do it?” you grilled at him.

     Duncan was quiet again, staring at his feet.

     “Duncan? Hello??” 

     He finally looked up at you, his eyes glassy and lashes fluttering to ward off tears.

     “Did you mean it when you said you never did this for the money?”

     Duncan got up from his seat and made his way over to you, your heart rate skyrocketing. You guessed now was as good as it was going to get if you were going to finally tell him how you’d felt about him for the back half of the time you were together.

     “Yeah, I did. At first, I didn’t mind it. The lingerie was nice, but I stopped caring about everything about halfway through. Paris is what kinda did me in. Every call, every trip. I just showed up for you. You could’ve cut me off from everythingand I still would have been at your door in a heartbeat. I never said anything, because I was never sure how you would react. I was more comfortable putting on a front than potentially ruining what we had. But I don’t really know why I’m telling you all of this. It’s not like it matters anymo-”

     You were cut off by Duncan smashing his lips against yours. Immediately, his scent, his taste, the feeling of his hands on the sides of your neck, it was completely overbearing. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed kissing him until now. The faint taste of liquor always on the back of his tongue, the way he tugged at your bottom lip with his teeth in a way that was rough, but just the way you liked it. When he drew back, you were breathless, your lips tingling from the stimulation.

     Duncan rested his forehead against yours, hands still holding on to either side of your face.

     “Y/N I think I’m in love with you.”

     Spots clouded your vision. This whole time, you’d torn yourself up over the idea that Duncan could never care about you in the way you felt for him. You were sure of it. You’d said it over and over, at least a hundred times.

     “Duncan-”

    “I’m serious. I never realized it until you were gone. I was raised on the premise that money solves all problems. That money gets you what you want. I’m not good at communicating how I feel. I was taught to manipulate and to lie from the time I could speak full sentences. I thought that if I kept buying you shit, you’d stay. That any form of intimacy was good enough, even if it meant nothing to you. But it meant something to me. It always did. I just never thought that I’d end up caring about you this much.”

     You weren’t aware of the tears littering your cheeks until Duncan swiped them away with his thumbs. There you both stood, chests shaky, trembling in each other’s arms. Everything was on the table.

     “I need you to stop talking and kiss me again,” you stated matter-of-factly.

     Duncan gave you the toothiest grin you had ever seen and pressed his lips to yours again, only gentler. The muscles of his mouth expertly worked against yours. You savored the feeling you’d deprived yourself of for so long. 

     Caught in another wave of familiarity, you walked him back to the bed. He caught on, letting you shrug off his coat before placing himself right at the edge. You crawled into his lap, your thighs straddling his waist, never once breaking the kiss. Duncan held you in place with his large hands, sighing at the sensation of being able to hold you once again. He really thought he had lost you for good.

     “Are you sure you want this?” he asked. He wasn’t sure he could bring himself to fuck you again if you were going to turn your back on him the second you finished.

     You nodded, looking deep into the crystal blue skies of his eyes.

     “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

     Duncan silently chuckled into your open mouth, pulling you in for another kiss.

     “Good. Now take off your clothes and lie down.”

     His demand ignited the fire in your belly, sending the already pooling wetness in your core over the edge and into the fabric your panties. You did as you were told, torn between wanting to tease him by taking your time and all but ripping your blouse off of your chest to get straight to business. Duncan licked his lips as you undressed, never once taking his eyes off of you. Once you dropped your panties on top of the rest of your discarded clothes, you made your way to the king-sized bed. The same exact one you’d spent many sleepless hours in for several consecutive months.

     “You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” Duncan said, running his hands up and down your bare thighs, parting them to reveal your glistening center. Duncan groaned at the sight, closing his eyes in satisfaction. He slowly ran his fingers through you folds, spreading your slick around, making you jolt on contact.

     “No teasing. I need you inside of me,” you panted.

     Duncan clicked his tongue at your remark. “I need to show you just how sorry I am. Let me prove it to you.”

      With that, he dove into your heat, lips immediately attaching to your clit. He started with slow, gentle sucking motions, pulling back every now and then to place delicate kisses on your most sensitive area. The tugging on your now swollen clit combined with Duncan’s velvet tongue had you whimpering within minutes. Maybe it was because you’d been touch-deprived ever since you ditched Duncan, or maybe he was really just that good. You truly missed this. No one compared to the way Duncan could make you feel. He was acutely aware of every twitch, every reaction you had to his touches. He decided to push you further by dipping his tongue into your entrance to fully taste you. Duncan moaned into your cunt, the taste of you being something he swore he could never get enough of.

     “God I forgot how fucking good you taste, baby girl.”

     You mewled underneath him, his words sending another bout of arousal through your body. He let a warm string of saliva fall from his lips, watching it drip down your already drenched folds before diving back down to drink from you once again. You felt your slick and Duncan’s spit running down your core, surely forming a wet spot on the duvet. Instinctively, you reached one arm down to pull Duncan closer by his hair, pleading for him to work his tongue faster and harder against you. 

     He took the hint, moving on to rutting in and out of your pussy with his mouth and gliding his tongue through your folds with more vigor than before. You were grinding against him, trying to gain any kind of friction there was to offer. Duncan removed one hand from of the inside of your thigh and trailed it down to where his mouth was, leaving goosebumps along your legs. Using his index finger, he torturously worked you open while his lips continued nibbling at your clit. He was lost in his own world, eyes closed, nose pressed harshly against your hood. It gave you some relief, but it still wasn’t enough. You wanted to let go so badly, to let pleasure overpower you. But Duncan’s cock was what you really wanted more than anything.

     It took everything in you to push Duncan’s head away from you. Using your elbows, you sat yourself up on the bed and reached for the buttons on Duncan’s shirt. He happily obliged, working at removing his belt and pants. When he peeled his tight boxers off of his thighs, you were greeted by his rock hard cock bobbing in the cool air of the hotel room. Your mouth watered at the sight, so many thoughts racing through your mind of what you wanted to do to him.

     He hungrily climbed on top of you and began kissing up and down your neck and into the dips of your collarbones. You never thought you’d feel this way again, consumed by Duncan. His hair tickled your chin, causing you to squirm and giggle beneath him. He pulled his lips from your neck with a smacking noise and looked up to see what you were laughing at.

     “What?” he asked, lips red and puffy, slick with spit.

     “Your hair. It tickles.”

     He looked at you once again with bewilderment. How he had managed to find you both back then and now again tonight was beyond his comprehension. He could look at you smiling like that for the rest of his life, he thinks to himself.

     Duncan returned the smile before bringing your lips together once again. You used his moment of weakness to take control, wrapping your legs around his torso and shoving Duncan sideways with your arms so that you were now on top of him, your bare core pressed against his stomach. Normally, he’d punish you for even thinking about doing such a thing. But this time, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was willing to do anything to you and for you, even if it meant letting you take the reigns.

     You slid back, leaving a trail of your wetness all the way down to Duncan’s waist. Using the muscles in your thighs, you carefully lifted yourself away from him so you could position his aching cock beneath you. He hissed at the stimulation of only your fingers, just as touch-starved as you. 

     First running his tip through your slickened folds for lubrication, you then hovered his cock directly above your entrance, bracing yourself for the stretch. As you sunk down, your eyes grew wider and wider, your face contorting into a look of pain and pleasure. 

     “You okay?” Duncan asked when you were fully seated on his cock, his brows furrowed, with small beads of sweat collecting just above them.

     “Mhmm,” you said, or moaned rather. “I forgot how big you are.”

     Duncan lay beneath you, biting his bottom lip so hard he might have drawn blood, but was too preoccupied to notice. It was taking every bit of the willpower had left not to begin bucking his hips into yours.

     He reached forward to grab both of your hands, lacing your fingers with his. He brought your knuckles to his lips, pressing reassuring kisses to each digit. 

     Once you were as adjusted to Duncan’s cock as you’d ever be and the slight pain from the foreign stretch subsided, you began to swivel your hips along his stomach, just barely grinding against him. Duncan kept his eyes on you, squeezing ever so slightly on your palms. The tiny whines leaving your chest with every rotation was music to his ears, but it was egging him on more than he could handle.

     “As good as you feel right now, princess, I’m gonna need you to move a little faster before this takes a turn for the worse and we’re both unhappy.”

     You snickered at Duncan, leaning down to lay your chest flat against his, his throbbing cock still piercing you. You kissed up his jaw, savoring the coarseness of his scruff against your lips. His hands unraveled from yours and went immediately to your ass, spreading you further apart and kneading the skin with his fingers. 

     “Tell me how much you missed me,” you started, in between nipping and sucking at the skin behind his ear with your teeth. “Tell me how much you missed this, daddy.”

     Duncan swallowed hard. He hadn’t heard you say his name like that in what felt like a lifetime. 

     “I missed you,” he gulped, “So fucking much. I missed your tight little pussy. How good it feels when you cum all over daddy’s cock. I wanna fill you up so bad.” 

     You spasmed on top of him, another wave of arousal gushing from you. With a throaty groan, you lifted yourself off Duncan’s cock and quickly slammed back down. Duncan’s breath hitched in the back of his throat, finally scratching that itch he’d had for months.

     You sat up slightly, placing the palms of your hands on Duncan’s pecks. Your pace was as quick as you could manage, his cock sliding in and out of your drenched cunt effortlessly. You fit together like a puzzle piece you thought. Made for each other, not belonging with anyone else. The gushing sounds of wet skin slapping together and exhausted panting encompassed the room. The initial burn had long gone and pure, carnal pleasure had taken over you as you impaled your body on Duncan’s cock.

     “God, Y/N. Are you close? I don’t think I can hold it much longer,” he confessed. 

     “Almost. Just hang on for a little while longer. I wanna cum with you.”

     You were bouncing on top of him now, your breasts bobbing along to your movements. Duncan shifted his position slightly, moving both of you a few feet back so he could rest his back against the headboard. He took you by the small of your back and pulled you as close as humanly possible, wanting to feel every inch of your skin against his.

     He eagerly placed on hand on the back of your neck, moving the other up to the spot between your shoulder blades to keep you close as you milked his cock. He started at your lips, working his tongue against yours in starving passion. Moving down to the hollow of your throat, he sucked harsh, moon shaped marks against your skin. You were chanting his name over and over, thrust after thrust like a prayer, losing yourself in Duncan’s touch.

     You weren’t sure if you could do it. Every muscle in your body ached from riding him, sweat coating every square inch of your skin. Duncan noted your falter and began moving your hips for you, thrusting you up and down his cock with all of the strength he had left. He was barely holding on himself.

     “Y/N I’m gonna-”

     He came suddenly with a grunt. His eyelashes fluttered and his mouth was parted slightly. You felt him spill inside of you, his hot seed coating your contracting walls. Duncan milked you for all that you were worth, his cum leaking onto his shaft, spurring on your own release in the process. The heat once pooling in the pit of your stomach spreading throughout your entire body. Your hips sputtered, unable to keep going through your orgasm, you buried your head in the crook of his neck.

     For a solid minute, neither of you said anything. You just laid there, still inside of him, catching your breath, your cheek resting on his shoulder. You had no idea what was going to happen next. You’d both just confessed your feelings, and you both felt the same way, but you kept asking yourself the same question. Would it ever work?

     “Duncan?” You spoke up, still not moving your head from the comfort of his shoulder.

     “Yeah?”

     “Do you think we could ever be together?” you were quieter this time, suddenly feeling as vulnerable as the night he approached you with the idea of the “arrangement” that briefly turned both of your lives upside down.

     “Is that not what we’re doing right now?” he asked.

     “You know what I mean.”

     “I’m willing to give it a shot. We’ve made it this far. Only a smaaaall mishap.”

     “Yeah, a small mishap,” you laughed, nuzzling further into Duncan’s neck.

     “Tell you what. Why don’t you stay here, and we can talk about it in the morning. I’m actually extremely fucking exhausted.”

     “Deal,” you replied.

     Duncan slid himself out of you, a chill taking over you at the suddenly emptiness. He turned you on your side, wrapping his long arms around your waist as he pulled the sheet up to your chest. You faced him this time, not worried about what he was thinking or what he would say next.

     He kissed the top of your forehead while running his fingers through the knots in your hair. You leaned into his touch before exhaustion took over and you both fell asleep. You dreamed of each other again, just like in Paris, only this time about the future each of you would have together.

Tagging:

(If you’re not on my tag list, I hope it’s okay that I tagged you! Definitely let me know if don’t want me to!)

@avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @venusxxlangdon   @ccodyfern @michaellangdong @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul @wroteclassicaly @omg-hellgirl @aveiangdon @belusima  @readsalot73 @americanhorrorstudies @langdonsdemon @ticklish-leafy-plant @michaelfuckinglangdon @fpsjacket @mother-tequila 

[onelonecritter]

FOP: Fairy Fallout Pt.1

Act I

“The Fairly OddParents: Fairy Fallout” begins where another one of Timmy’s unintentionally catastrophic wishes has ended.  The opening of the episode starts with a shot of Timmy’s room where Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda are poofed into the scene looking utterly relieved to see that everything was back to normal after narrowly preventing an irreversible disaster.  The main trio took a moment to reflect on their most recent misadventure, mainly with Cosmo and Timmy going about it with a positive attitude while Wanda balanced out their more comedic commentary with a lecture on how they really needed to be more careful next time; only for it to be brushed off by both her husband, and godchild.  While Timmy actually did acknowledge the lesson to be learned, he questioned the odds of future consequences since he always corrected his mistakes in the end.  

“It’s not like I’m going to lose you guys because of this, right?” Timmy asked jokingly with a shrug.

Before either of the fairies could respond, however, the hulking form of Jorgen Von Strangle suddenly appeared in an explosion of fairy dust right behind the ten-year-old; the realization of Jorgen’s presence was enough to wipe the smile off of Timmy’s face the moment his smaller form became shrouded in Jorgen’s massive shadow.  The camera then panned up to capture Jorgen’s expression of absolute fury, wafts of steam rose up into the air from off of his shoulders and out of his ears while his generally bronzed skin was colored a fiery red hue.

“Timmy Turner, this is the last time I let you get away with nearly causing the end of the Earth, and the entire universe!” He bellowed in a rage, shouting loud enough to send both Timmy and his fairies flying back into the bedroom wall with a loud thud before bringing his wand up to conjure a projection screen.

One by one, Jorgen Von Strangle brought up footage of Timmy’s past shenanigans that turned dangerous.  From time-travelling to role-reversal, and wishing for the entire world as everyone knew it to change at the drop of a hat, Timmy and the others sat in silence as Jorgen went on with his lecture.  By the end of the slideshow, Timmy tried to object to Jorgen’s accusations, but he was immediately cut off by the hulking fairy.  Not even Cosmo and Wanda were able to make an effort to persuade Jorgen into giving Timmy another chance to prove himself this time, which only brought a more intense amount of dread over the three of them.  After brutally berating Timmy and his fairy godparents, Jorgen’s skin began to fade back into its usual tanned color, and his expression deadpanned.

With another blink of his wand, he conjured up the “Da Rules” book before opening it to a section to describe the punishment for godchildren who never learn from their mistakes time and time again.  Unfortunately, having grown used to Jorgen’s usual lectures, Timmy only stared up at Von Strangle with a somewhat distant look on his face.  In Timmy’s perspective, he could only hear mumbling and incoherent babbling from Jorgen, with the exception of certain words being registered more clearly until the conclusion of the massive fairy’s speech.

“From now on, you no longer have to share your fairy godparents with Chloe-” Jorgen declared, pausing for a moment once Timmy smiled joyfully at the declaration, but then finished his statement with a sadistic smirk on his face. “Because you don’t get to have fairy godparents anymore!”

Timmy’s expression of glee turned to a look of astonishment, and disbelief in an instant, along with Cosmo and Wanda reacting just as horrified by the decided punishment.  While the three of them had close calls where Timmy would end up on the verge of losing his fairy godparents forever at certain points, there would always be a way to turn it all around in order to keep them from separating.  The stakes would be high, but there would still be a way that gave Timmy a chance to take control of the situation.  However, this was no longer the case.

Cosmo and Wanda pleaded with the superior fairy to let them keep Timmy as their godchild, begging for Jorgen to show some consideration for all the years they spent making Timmy’s life more manageable, and to remember how far Timmy would go to right his wrong-doings.  Timmy was driven to tears as his shrill voice argued with Jorgen’s verdict, his high-pitched tone just about wailing in a mix of despair, anger, and desperation from having Cosmo and Wanda being taken away from him.  They weren’t just playthings to him, nor were they just his fairy godparents.  They were his family.  Even with the overwhelming grief surrounding the whole scene, Jorgen Von Strangle remained emotionless, and unmoved by their efforts to appeal to him.

Realizing that there was no changing Jorgen’s mind, Cosmo and Wanda sorrowfully hugged their godchild goodbye.  Wanda barely managed to say some comforting words to try and assure Timmy that they would always love him, but even that did nothing to ease the unbridled heartache all three were experiencing.  Jorgen Von Strangle merely rolled his eyes at the display, watching impatiently as the fairy couple mutually clung to Timmy until he roughly grabbed Cosmo and Wanda in his gigantic hand to tear them away from Timmy’s hold.  With a single strike of Jorgen’s staff-like wand on the hardwood floors of Timmy’s bedroom, and one last flash of the wand’s star, the fairies disappeared in another cloud of fairy dust that eventually faded into nothing.  Timmy Turner was left all alone, sobbing with no one to console him, as the sequence ended.  

The next shot was set in Chloe’s room after Jorgen brought Cosmo, and Wanda over to tell her everything that she needed to know.  This included explaining why Timmy would no longer have custody over the fairy couple, and giving Chloe a stern warning on the more major responsibility of being the only godchild to Cosmo and Wanda.  Chloe could only stand, and stare up in disbelief as she took in all of the troubling information.  Unlike his cruel demeanor towards Timmy, Jorgen spoke in an uncharacteristically warm manner towards Chloe, even if she had her fair share of mishaps caused by her own wishes during the time she’d been a secondary godchild; Jorgen still had a bit of a soft spot for Chloe.  He genuinely sounded excited to finally have Timmy out of his hair, making off-handed comments about how he was glad to know that someone as reliable and responsible as Chloe wouldn’t cause nearly as much trouble as Timmy ever did, even though he would normally take fairies away from both godchildren if only one of them broke any of the major rules.

After a moment of letting Jorgen ramble, Chloe finally interjected in her usual polite tone, asking if it was truly the right thing to do.  At this question, the gargantuan fairy blinked with a look of bewilderment on his face.  No doubt, he had been expecting excitement, or glee from Chloe when he told her that Cosmo and Wanda were officially all hers.  Picking up on Jorgen’s questioning gaze, Chloe continued to put in her take on whether or not it was right to deprive Timmy of his fairy godparents, emphasizing that Timmy actually lived quite a miserable life without them.  She even went so far as to point out the words stated in “Da Rules” about the importance of fairies being assigned to children who were miserable, but to no avail.  Even though Jorgen had a sense of fondness towards Chloe, her words fell on deaf ears, and Jorgen was quick to counter her argument.

“Would you rather risk the whole world, and the entire existence of life as we know it coming to an end because of the reckless actions of a single child?” Jorgen questioned, conjuring up a bar graph that depicted potential rates of apocalyptic destruction lowering dramatically in accordance with Timmy no longer having Cosmo and Wanda to grant his thoughtless, and sometimes selfish, wishes. 

Chloe’s shoulders tensed up as she pondered Jorgen’s retort, and took in all of the evidence Jorgen Von Strangle presented to her.  Inside her mind, Chloe truly did want to help the world in any way she could.  That’s what she was raised to do, and what just about everyone expected from her.  Without Timmy’s spontaneous and risky wishes to potentially shake up the entire universe, the dream of making the world a better place was within her reach.

“But, what about Timmy?” She asked, sending a concerned glance out of her bedroom window to peer over at Timmy’s house.

Once again, Jorgen brushed off Chloe’s concern for her friend, bluntly stating that it didn’t matter anymore before abruptly teleporting out of the room.  Everything fell silent now that Jorgen was gone, all except for the light sobs of Cosmo and Wanda as they floated a few feet away from Chloe, crying over a framed picture of Timmy that they held in their hands.  As the fairy couple were grieving, Chloe quietly approached them, and gave the two a reassuring grin while opening her arms to welcome them into a comforting hug.  But as the scene came to a close, Chloe’s soft expression turned into a look of serious determination as if the sorrows of Cosmo and Wanda ignited a spark of inspiration within her.  Even though she felt a sense of uncertainty deep down, Chloe knew that there just had to be a way to help her neighbor somehow, and she was going to find a solution.

[bleufrost]

Frozen Embers || Chapter Two

Loki x reader

Series Preview/General Story Guide

Warnings: swearing, very conflicted emotions, some violence but nothing bad

Series summary: Growing up under the guidance of S.H.I.E.L.D, you were trained from the moment you could walk to be a good agent. You were everything you needed to be, but the emotions and empathy that ran through your blood tainted all of your hard work. One day, you are given the chance to prove yourself by being assigned to the cell of Loki, the god of mischief. Quickly, icy walls begin to melt as you both realize that your time together is bringing forth a mix of flame and frost that can only end in chaos.

Original request by: @procrastinatinglikeabitch

Masterlist

A/N: MY HIATUS DIDNT LAST THAT LONG!! YAY! im trying not to let myself wallow too much because i feel like laying in bed all day just makes me sadder, so lets try to write instead haha

and here we have chapter twooo! after this it gets a lot more...interesting. as always, i hope you guys enjoy, and love you all!

As you walk over to the training deck to meet Fury, your mind can't help but turn over the events that had just transpired. Loki had acted so nonchalant as you left, if not for the vocalization of his desire to see you again, you would have thought him to be indifferent about the entire situation. 

But he had called out to you. He had made it very clear that seeing you again was not only something he would endure, but also something that he wanted. It made your heart beat rapidly in your chest and brought a smile to your face. You weren’t foolish enough to believe that the words meant anything, the way in which he had spoken them promised nothing but a craving to simply not be alone, yet you were still somewhat giddy. 

"I hope to hell that smile isn't a result of you meeting that psychotic motherfucker." You quickly replace the look on your face with one of annoyance and roll your eyes at Fury. "That's real mature, sir. Maybe I'm smiling because I get to see your pretty face." 

Fury chuckles but you instantly regret the banter when you see him look up. "Barton! Smartass here wants to act like a punk, I was going to have her train with one of the new cadets, but why don’t we have her work with you again instead?” Fury smiles at you, giving you a mock salute as he heads for the door. You groan and get ready for another ass kicking at the hands of your favorite archer.

***********************

As your head slams against the mat for the seemingly hundredth time that afternoon, Clint comes once again to reach a hand out to you and pull you up. You give him your hand, but this time you let all your weight drop as he moves to pull. For almost anyone else, that would’ve ended in him falling to the mat beside you; Clint wasn’t anyone else though. He gives you a disapproving look, but quickly softens when he sees how genuinely exhausted you are. 

“You alright kid?” You lift your knees up, resting your arms against the tops of them as you let out a long sigh. Clint takes that as his cue, and gently takes a seat beside you.

“I met Loki today.” He becomes visibly uncomfortable at the mention of the god’s name, rightfully so considering the things he had endured at the mercy of Loki. 

“I don’t know why they’re sending you in to do that kind of stuff. You’re too young to be dealing with things like that.”

“Well, I have to prove myself somehow, right? I’m just not sure how smoothly this will go.” Clint places a hand on your knee and squeezes gently. “If it gets bumpy, I’m right here.” You offer Clint a smile before pushing yourself up and reaching your hand out to help lift him too. 

That night you couldn’t sleep. Every time your eyes fell shut, you saw the mischievous god smiling before you. That same feeling of uncertainty settled in the pit of your stomach as you pondered over whether you should run to or from the god. All the warning signs, every instinct you had been taught, gut feelings and red flags; none of it mattered. You always chose to run to him and that should have been a huge signal to abort, but you couldn’t. 

Or maybe you just didn’t want to.

In the morning you were barely able to register waking up because you couldn’t remember falling asleep in the first place. 

You took extra care in the bathroom after leaving your bed; something you didn’t want to admit to. For some reason your hand reached for the perfume you had for special occasions. He wouldn’t be able to smell you through the walls of the cell, so why do it? You put on another black protocol outfit, but this time it was one you felt confident in; one you felt irresistible in. You don’t even fully realize you had done any of that until you finally snap out of it. 

Standing in front of the heavy metal door once more, you slide your key in just like yesterday. Your heeled boots click against the cold tile just as they did last time, but this time you don’t waver or try to stop the noise. You want him to know you’re coming. 

Loki had spent the entire day thinking about you. It was in no way something he found any pride in, in fact he was nearly humiliated by just how much of his time had been consumed by thoughts of you. He was trying to justify it in his mind; you were the first being he had come in contact with for quite some time, there was nothing special about you specifically. He would have been just as relieved to see the man of iron as he was to see you. Deep down though, he knew this wasn’t the case. 

There had been something about you that sparked his curiosity. You were an agent, that he knew. What he could not for the life of him understand is how you could be so wide eyed and innocent. You were so gentle, so kind hearted, so delicately human. In this case though, Loki felt that being so was not a downfall. On you, humanity was radiant and he was desperate to interact with you more. 

He would get that wish very soon.

"Loki?" Your voice rang through the hall as you stared at the god, trying to call his attention. Loki grinned, but you didn't take notice as he wiped the smile from his face before turning away from the wall to face you.

"Pet, you've returned." Walking toward you nearly silently, his face took on the familiar mischievous look that you had already grown to recognize. You could tell immediately that he was going to take any opportunity he could to be condescending or make you feel the necessity to leave, so you decided early on that you wouldn't give him the chance.

"I brought something. It's obviously not going to be as entertaining as I'm sure you're used to, but I thought you might enjoy it nonetheless." Smiling, you sat cross legged on the floor in front of him. 

Loki stayed standing for a moment, his mischief laced demeanor slowly transforming to one of curiosity as he pondered over whether or not to trust what you had brought him. 

You took notice of his hesitancy, and brought your bag out to open in front of you. Pulling out two books, you laid them down for him to see, smiling gently up at him to encourage him to take a closer look and, perhaps, trust you. The god still seemed unsure, but he finally leaned down to see what you had taken the time to bring.

"Hamlet…" His fingers reached out to trace the glass by each title as he read their names aloud. "...Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus…" 

His eyes were filled with questioning as he finally looked back up to you. "What am I to do with these? I cannot take them inside of my cell." Suddenly you got nervous as you wondered if offering to read to a god was truly a childish act. Your stomach filled with worry and subtle regret that nearly closed around your throat before you cleared it of the unmistakable fear and spoke up.

"I was thinking we could read together, or at least I could read to you for a while. It's...difficult to trust someone new at first and I don't expect you to want to speak to me right away. I know I wouldn't want to if I were in your position. I figured, hearing someone else's story can be a bit more comforting than sharing your own, at least for now." Your cheeks took on a pink tint as you mustered the courage to look him in the eye and grew self conscious of the rambling mess that had flown from your lips. 

"Do all humans speak so much when they are nervous?" Looking down quickly, the twist of your gut could be felt again as your embarrassment grew. "I'm sorry." The light sound of amusement startled you, and Loki stayed leaning down still and laughing; at you most likely. You had the urge to leave, but just as you moved to turn away from him Loki sat down in front of you and smiled, this one was different though, it felt oddly sincere. 

"Don't apologize. It's oddly endearing to see one act so unabashedly human." Loki reached his hands up and spread them out to indicate the two books. "Now, pet. Which story would you prefer to start with?" 

Nearly four hours later, the two of you were still there reading from Mary Shelley's classic story. Your bodies had shifted several times, at first keeping that distance between you. As the hours flew by though, you both found yourselves sat with your sides pressed against the glass next to each other. It almost felt like the layer that separated your bodies wasn't there at times, but it was and it would permanently remain so. 

You shouldn't want it to be gone, it was there to protect you. It was there to ensure he could never hurt you. That he could never grab you, or touch you, or hold you. 

You needed to stop thinking like that. It wasn't safe, he wasn't safe; right? 

"Pet, you've grown quiet." His voice startled you out of your thoughts and suddenly you realized just how close you two had become. You sat up suddenly and shut the book, doing everything in your power to not alert Loki to the fact that your heart was thumping loudly in your chest. Your hands shook slightly and you wrung them together to hide the telltale sign of nervousness. 

"Sorry, I think I'm feeling a little tired. I'll be back soon okay?" You tried your best to put on the most convincing smile you could and watched as he nodded slowly. He didn't believe that you were completely alright, but he also was not about to beg you to stay...at least not out loud. 

"Alright, rest up little one. I will await your return with every fiber of my being." It was a shock to hear him say that, and your face unfortunately let it show as he quickly turned away and went to busy himself with something else within his cell. 

Did he really just admit that he was waiting for you to come back? That he wanted you to come back to him? Of course he had said a similar thing the first time you met, but this time it felt far more profound, far more personal. Your head was a mess as you left the holding area and made your way back to your room. 

***********************

Once again, your mind raced with concerns and confusion all night. You had only just met the god and still felt so tightly bound to him, it wasn't natural. There had to be some sort of explanation for what was happening. He had mind controlled Clint before, he could be doing the same to you, right? No. He had held the power of the Tesseract then and no longer wielded such power now. 

In that case, it must be your own fatal flaw. You were a disgrace for a S.H.I.E.L.D agent because your empathy ran too high and too untamed. Now was no different and you had to learn to control your emotions if you were ever going to figure out the god and report your findings to the agency. You wanted to understand him...but did you really want to betray him? 

Unbeknownst to you, your fearful conflict was shared in the mind and heart of Loki himself as he paced within his holding cell. He had allowed it to slip that he awaited your return to him in a far more intimate way than he should have allowed, and that made him feel utterly humiliated. He was a god and you were nothing but a puny human, but even he could not deny that your lack of anger or restraint in allowing yourself to be open and understanding toward him was enchanting. It comforted him to know someone so gentle could care for him. But you didn’t care for him, did you? 

The general panic and unease that was shared between you both seemed to transcend any wall or cage that kept you from each other. Neither one of you were able to share any communication as you lay in your bed and he in his cell, yet there was a connection that caused you both to understand you weren't alone.

It was all in one a comfort and an unwavering cause for alarm to know that you held such a strong connection to someone you had nearly just met. As much as you tried to fight it off, It was undeniable that a flame was ignited, and fires like these only proved to grow with every attempt to extinguish them.

_______________________

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I also tagged people i assumed wanted to be from the comments, but let me know if you want off the list (:

(message me to be added to my tom list!)

A/N: i love hearing feedback and, although i cant respond to comments since this is a side blog, please know that i highly appreciate it and it honestly makes me smile (and sometimes cry) when i read your comments!

[ashisbaeee]

how about a blurb of Tom meeting his ex!reader at the diner she works at and they talk about how they want to get back together? you can choose the ending, whether it’s angst of fluff.

A/N: here ya go, thanks for this request! as you can probably guess, I got carried away with this prompt as well, haha. anyways, I hope you like it :)

___________________________

Your break up with Tom had proved to be a rather difficult one. It’s been about 4 months since you’ve last spoken and seen him. You don’t remember the cause of your fight. Looking back, it was probably a pretty stupid one. All you remember from that night was words being said out of anger and annoyance. He had said some things, you had said some things. It was now a  battle of words, who would be the one to say the most hurtful things. 

He won that battle. You constantly replayed his last words to you.

<flashback>

“You don’t appreciate all that I’ve done for you. You’re a bloody nobody; you should be grateful you’re even seen with me in public. You should be grateful for all the opportunities that came your way because of me! You’re such a drag to be with. Do you understand that other girls, far more deserving than you would literally kill to be in your place? I could have any girl I want and yet here I am stuck with you. What a complete and utter waste of time. Everyone was right about you. ”

You remember opening your mouth to spew more insults at him, but you didn’t. It took you a moment to fully comprehend and absorb, realizing the sheer magnitude of his words. 

“bloody nobody” 

“such a drag”

“I could have any girl I want and yet here I am stuck with you”

“utter waste of time”

Ouch. That really hurt. 

You sharply inhaled, not realizing you were holding your breath. Your body began to physically shake. His words really taking its toll on you. He waited for your rebuttal. He waited to see what your words would be and would it have been as hurtful as his. 

You stood across him, looking down at the ground. 

Your sudden silence brought his attention from the ground and up towards you. 

He saw your change in posture, he took in your appearance. He saw your body physically shaking, he saw your watery eyes and red face. 

He realized the intensity of his words. Just as he was about to walk up to you, you held your hand out, forcing him to stop in his tracks. 

“Y-you’re right. I am a bloody nobody. You shouldn’t have wasted all of your time with me. Go find a grateful girl who’d love to be with you. You have girls waiting in line for a chance to meet and date you, so why don’t you get to it. If you were really feeling this way you should’ve just told me so we didn’t have to waste all this time” you spoke, barely a whisper as you turned your heel, making your way to the door. 

“Y/N, darling, wait, please. Don’t leave. ‘M so sorry.”

“Just stop Tom, you’ve said what you needed to say and that’s that. There’s no taking back what you said. I’ll get the rest of my things later during the week I guess” you grabbed your purse and sneakers as you made your way out of what was your shared home. 

A week later, you came back. He hoped that you returned to talk about the fight, thought that you just needed time apart to cool off, but much to his dismay, you came back to do exactly what you  said, that you were coming to collect your things. He prayed that during the time spent apart you would both cool off and want to fix the wrongs, to apologize for the words you both had said. But that didn’t happen. Things didn’t go as how he’d hoped. 

“Y/N, please, please don’t do this. Can we please talk about it? I want to properly apologize for what happened. I’m sorry I was so stubborn and that I didn’t do so earlier. This past week has been hell. 5 minutes, that’s all I’m asking. Please, just hear me out”

“Just please. Please Tom. I’m begging you, just stop. Please don’t make this harder than it already is.” 

Despite his pleas, you continued to pack your things. 

You completed the task in record time. 

As you held the doorknob to the front door, you turned around to look him in the eyes. 

“I’m sorry for wasting your time. I hope you do find the girl that’s right for you. Bye Tom, take care. 

<end of flashback>

That was 4 months ago. Your heart still hurts but you had to move on. As much as you had wanted to lay in bed and wallow in your heartbreak and sorrow, you knew you couldn’t. You had returned home. You moved into an apartment of your own, albeit it was pretty tiny but it seemed just perfect for you. You went back to your job at the diner, the owner and your friends happy of your return. 

You had just finished the lunch rush hour, so now things were a bit slow. The bell had rang, signaling that a customer had just walked in. 

As soon as you looked up, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped beating. 

He was here. Tom, your ex, has just arrived here. 

What do you do? Do you run to the back and hide until he leaves? Do you tell one of your coworkers to take his order? You needed to decide quick before he saw you. 

Oops, too late. 

He made his way towards you. 

You had to keep calm and play it cool. You had to act like he was just a regular customer. 

“Welcome, what can I get you?” you spoke 

“5 minutes of your time please, and a coffee with 2 creamers and 3 sugars”

“Coffee, sure, coming right up” you replied before going to make his order. 

You handed him the mug as well as the cream and sugar “here you go, sir”

He thanked you and proceeded to add the sugar and cream to his cup, taking a sip. About a minute later, he spoke up again. 

“Seeing as it’s not as busy, can I please have your attention for 5 minutes? There’s a lot that I’d like to get off my chest. It shouldn’t have waited this long and I apologize for that. I just want to talk to you, just hear me out, please” he practically begged. 

You look over your shoulder to you manager, as if you were asking permission to talk with your ex, she nodded, signaling that it was alright. 

Sighing deeply, you spoke.

“5 minutes, and nothing more. So I suggest you get started” 

“Oh okay, thanks. I know that there are no words to express how sorry I truly am. I don’t remember what actually caused the fight, but it’s irrelevant at this point. All I’m saying is that I know it got way out of hand. What I said was out of line. Please, you have to believe me, I did not mean a single word that came out of my mouth. You are not a nobody, you are somebody. Somebody that was so special to me, who meant the absolute world. Somebody who I saw a future with; someone that I was going to marry and have a family with. I don’t care about the line of girls waiting. They’re not who I want. Who I want in this entire world is sitting 2 feet in front of me. I know I had hurt her but I promise that if given another chance I would make things right. I would show her how much she really means to me. And how I was stupid to  say those words and make her think otherwise. I know that she is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life without you has been boring. I am nothing without you, you don’t know how happy I am when I’m with you. I am going to be a bit selfish and go out on a limb here and just ask you straight up. Do you think we can give us another go?”

Silence. You both fell into an awkward silence. 

You pondered his question. Did you want to be together again?

“Tom, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for the words I had said during the fight months ago. I’m so sorry. But I don’t think I can. Even if I did want to try us again, I would constantly replay your words. Those words are forever ingrained in my memory. I appreciate your apology but I just can’t forget your words and act like it never happened. These past 4 months have been difficult for me as well, but I had reestablished my life here. I can’t just uproot and go back to you at the drop of a hat. Maybe we can be friends in the future or something. But me and you, no, I don’t that will ever happen again. I truly appreciate your apology. And I truly wish you the best in everything you do. I hope that one day you meet someone special, someone who you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. I’m sorry, but I have to get back to work. Take care of yourself Tom.” 

You stood up from the booth and fixed your apron. He got up as well and gave a small smile. 

You inched closer to him and gave him a hug, he enveloped you in his arms as he held you tightly. He gave you a small nod and proceeded out the door. 

You watched him as he left, until his figure no longer in your line of vision. You returned back to work, one thing stuck in your mind. 

Did you make the right choice?

[spiltscribbles]

Notes: I am a soft ball of fluff who also loves these two to bits! 

A reblog saves a life<3

~*~

.-

“Hurry up, hurry up,” Stiles bucks up his hips, sliding greedy hands under the waistband of Derek’s briefs.

“You ever wonder if the romance in our relationship is lost?” Derek snorts, nibbling on Stiles’s collar bone, across his jaw and finally landing with a searing kiss onto his lips.

“Mmm,” Stiles flips him over so that Derek’s writhing underneath him. “Dude we have four kids under five! No time for romance between frantic hand jobs.”

“Freya’ll be six next month,” Derek points out, peppering kisses all over Stiles’s face.

“Fine, we’ll have a really romantical, slow bone session right after we clean up all the cake and ice-cream from her party. But right now, I can barely remember the last time our dicks touched.”

“Two weeks, nine days, and three hours ago.”

Stiles leers, “Bro I don’t know whether to be flattered that you’re counting down the hours till we fuck, or be concerned the my man is obviously thinking about me every second of the day instead of focusing on  his actual, very dangerous job.”

“One,” Derek pulls Stiles back underneath him—always having enjoyed the push and pull of their relationship, the way neither of them let the other have anything easy. Always poking and prodding and forcing each other to do better. To be better. “I’m your husband, not your dude, or bro or any of the other colorful nicknames you like to use, pretending you’re some douchey, snapback wearing frat kid getting drunk off his ass in some lame  party.”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t have been that douche in another life…You know one vacant of wolves and hunters and all that shit.”

“Two,” Derek continues as if Stiles hadn’t even spoken, grinding down into him and reveling in the little, gasps of groans that he lets out at the contact. “We’re doing much more than fucking, don’t ya think?”

“Oo, ah ah yeah, yeah definitely,” Stiles almost squeaks out. “But we’re not going to be doing anything if you don’t shut the hell up.”

“My have the tables turned.”

“Ass face,” Stiles latches their lips together with a fervor that Derek feels in his bones—making his toes curl and his dick shoot up in excitement. “Hello my old friend,” Stiles simpers before wrapping it with one of is large hands.

“It—huh—It hasn’t been that long.”

“Says the guy who’s been counting down the hours,” Stiles gifs another savage tug—using some of Derek’s pre-cum to rub up and down his shaft. Derek swears he sees light while he’s frantically smacking down on their night table, in search of some proper lube. That is until…

A bloodcurdling  screech bursts through their baby monitor.

Derek collapses onto Stiles’s shoulder in defeat.

“Jesus Christ!”  

“God fucking damn it!”

They freeze there for a moment more, Matty’s cries growing ever louder.

“One of us must’ve been a mass murderer in past life and that’s why Karma’s being such a bitch,” Stiles says, slowly pealing himself off of Derek and throwing on the nearest pair of boxers he could find.

“Oh I’m sure,” Derek reasons.  “Though I put my money on it being  you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say sour wolf.”

“Touché, you want baby duty or going down stairs to make the bottle?”

“Fuck, we didn’t bring one up?”

“Ah no, we were—erm, otherwise compromised.” Derek suddenly remembers much of the same actions taking place last night, but rather than a fitful baby that haunted their plans, it was a very fear ridden Freya, who had watched a scary clip on Youtube with some school friends earlier that day. And then him and Stiles had another argument over not sending her to a private  school and were angry at each other until this morning, when Derek agreed that he was acting a bit hot headed, and Stiles offered to talk with her teacher—which then lead to heated kisses and the bright prospect of finally getting off.

A prospect which never came into fruition.

“Right, well I’ll grab Matty,—he always likes your bottles more, for some reason.”

“What can I say,” Stiles sniffs. “I have magical hands.”

Derek licks his lips on a swallow. “Don’t remind me.”

.-

“Shhh baby, c’mon Matthew. c’mon you’re okay,” Derek croons, rocking him into his arms. “You wanna hear a lullaby? Huh? Yeah kiddo?”

“Derek! Derek!” Stiles clammers into the nursery, hair askew and shirt boxers slung dangerously  low on his narrow hips. “”s broken! His bottle! ‘s broke!”

Half dazed from a serious lack of sleep, not enough coffee, and the worst tease of his fucking life, Derek plucks out the  aforementioned bottle right from Stiles’s death grip.

“Ah Stiles—You didn’t even screw on the nipple?” Derek points out, rattling it in his face.

“Is it bad if you saying the word nipple is really making my pants tight?” Stiles ponders out loud,  biting into the nail of his thumb.

“Well considering your referring to the utensil our child needs to use to eat with, and that your not even wearing pants right now-“

“Does it take effort being such a dry witted ass hole so early in the morning?”

“You forgot functional. I’m a functional  dry witted asshole. Unlike you evidently.”

“Hey! I’m functional!” Stiles argues, to which Derek just gives a pointed look to his disheveled mop of hair, and bare chest speckled with dried milk that spilled out when he must’ve been shaking the bottle without properly sealing it’s lid. Stiles’s face goes a very fetching scarlet, and Derek very much feels the ache of their lack of, well…erm, private time, yet again. With Carson and Freya starting the school year, and the twins beginning teething—well it’s all been way too hectic, and something had to give way eventually…Derek just mourns that it had to be their sex life. “Hey! Don’t you dare use those judgmental eyebrows on me pretty boy!”

Derek’s eyes go owlish before meeting Stiles’s glower. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Yuh huh,” Stiles snorts unconvinced, taking Matthew out of Derek’s embrace, and tucking him into his own chest. “Well I’ll have ya know big guy that back in college,  I spent many a days fueled purely on Starbucks refills and sugar highs that these munchkins would salivate over.”

“Is that right,” Derek drawls, eyes flickering to the mural Isaac had painted on the wall of the twin’s room—a family tree where each branch has an emblem dangling off it’s tip—symbolizing the most important people in their lives.. Derek feels a rush of pure elation when spotting the Hale triskelion up on top. It’s so right and perfect, and never in a million years did Derek think he could have this. A set of friends and family who truly loves him, and who he trusts and adores implicitly. A partner that snarks at him at every turn, but also makes Derek’s knees go weak, and his heart swell with affection. Hell, never did Derek ever think of himself as being the fathering type—but with Stiles, it all just feels natural, definitely not easy (Especially when Carson’s favorite blanket is in the wash and he refuses to go anywhere without it, or when Freya brings in some new critter she’s caught outside in a sudden save every animal and bring it back home with me kick.) but it all feels right. Like Derek’s not screwing up completely.

“Yeah, well that and your vigorous love making of course,” Stiles clutches a hand over his heart, and flutters his lashes like he’s in a fucking mascara advert.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I know,” Stiles straightens up, hitching a now fast asleep Matthew into a more comfortable position. “But I’m also right. I use to be the king of doing shit without even a blink of sleep.”

“You know Stiles, it doesn’t bother me that you’ve become less spry in your old age.”

“Fucker.”

“Not in front of the children, they’ll be up soon for school.”

Stiles’s face lights up at that, n almost kitty gleam pixilated in his eyes. “They are, aren’t they?”

“ah, yuh…That’s what I just said?”

“M’kay! Me and you got bout the same amount of sleep last night, right?”  

“Sure, I think?”

“Well I know for da both of us. So let’s prove who’s actually the spry one in this little  relationship of ours”

“Oh?” Derek perks up at the sound of that, moving up to settle a hand on Stiles’s hip—his eyes going dark. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

“Definitely not in the way you’re thinking,” Stiles sucks in a breath   when  Derek begins to  ravish his neck with a fresh batch of kisses.

Derek deflates at the clarification. “I don’t think anything else really interests me.”

“Don’t be such a sour wolf.” Stiles chides, cuffing Derek on the back of the head. “Me and you should have a competition.”

Derek kinks up one of his brows. “See who can get Carson or Freya ready for school first?”

Stiles’s grin goes devious. “Winner gets head.”

“Loser?”

“Oh Derek, babe there are no losers in this game.”

“I’ve got Freya,” Derek calls, striding to her room, knowing full and well how difficult Carson could be in the mornings—probably because he stays up way past his bedtime without ever being caught.

“Succor, her favorite dress ’s in the laundry.”

“Fuck.”

.

-

“C’mon princess,” Derek coaxes with a slight jostle  to the frilly dress, trying to make its sparkles catch in the light. “This one ’s just as good as the red one.”

“No ’s not,” Freya sniffs with an imperious tilt of her little head, arms crossed and weight slung onto her left hip. (If Derek is being at all honest, he thinks she might turn out being an exact replica of Erica, and that scares him shitless— his best friend is a force that Derek hasn’t the slightest clue how to restrain.) “I want the red won!”

“I know you do baby girl,” Derek squats down to level her with a look. “But sometimes we don’t always get what we want.”

“”m the star of the week! I’m s’pose to be  the bestest dresser in the class! “s the rules.”

Somehow, Derek seriously doubts that the teacher had ever referred to the student’s way of dress being at all related to being line leader and snack maker, but he plays along anyhow, because damn it straight to hell,  if his girl wants to look the bestest, she damn will.

“Baby girl, I promise this dress’ll still make you the bestest dressed in the class.”

“Aunty Lydia picked the red won out for me,” Freya sniffs, beginning to eye the pink one in Derek’s grasp—much in the same way that Stiles always assesses something right before giving in.

Speak of the devil…

The door to Freya’s room pops open, a beaming Stiles swaggering in. “Morning buttercup,” he crows with a kiss to her forehead.

“Papa I don’t have my red dress,” Freya explains to him the dilemma at hand, her big, pale eyes peering up at him mirthlessly.

“Oh shoot sunflower, ’s in the laundry, isn’t it?”

Freya nods solemnly, which is about the time Stiles’s facade breaks, and he looks like he’d do anything to salvage her hopes of wearing that particular dress to class today.

“Freya, gorgeous, what bout while I go downstairs and start frosting the cupcakes you and daddy made last night, you could face time Aunty Lyds and pick out a brand new dress. You know, with her sealed approval?”

Freya’s whole face lights up, and Derek is left marveling at how collected Stiles could be under such a crisis—one with a lot less blood and gore than back in their heyday—but still, a crisis all the same.

.-

“You’re kinda smart, you know that?” Derek lightly  hip checks him as the pair cross the threshold from Freya’s room, the sound of her and Lydia joyously speaking in rapid tongue French over Freya’s new dress dilemma, left in their wake.

“I felt guilty,” Stiles shrugs. “You know that bitch Caitlin Snow would’ve teased her mercilessly if our baby girl was looking all upset over such a little thing.”

“Isn’t Caitlin like five?”

“Yeah, and her mom ’s the piranha who was trying to flirt you up last week when you had to pick the kids up cause I was running late at the paper…Your point?”

Derek shakes his head with a chuckle. “I take it that things are going smoothly with Carse if you had time to come peak us a visit.”

“Oh totally,” Stiles preens. “Carson is like basically ready.”

Queue a very lively Carson bounding through the hall—pantsless and a fresh pair of underwear proudly perched on his head.

Derek kinks up  a brow at Stiles.

“Okay…So I may’ve exasperated a tad,” he shrugs.

“Papa! Daddy! Look! I’m Captain of the world! I kill monsters just like you guys!”

“C’mon Carse,” Stiles calls out, his face going pained. “I said only five more minutes of play before you have to start actually getting dressed.”

“Die you  flesh eating alien!”

“A little bit?” Derek snorts, to which Stiles just waves a hand over his face and mouths, “It’s the eyebrows of doom.”

“You’re impossible.”

“But you’ll still Finnish up with him while I go frost the cupcakes for Freya like I promised? Thanks beautiful, Imma love you up real good later.” Like the whirlwind he is, Stiles pecks a chased kiss onto Derek’s lips and leaps downstairs to their kitchen— because they’re full grown adults now, who have a house with multiple floors and children, and a fucking breakfast nook— before Derek could even comprehend what he had just said.

“Papa’s got u whipped daddy,” Carson laughs maniacally, all the more insane looking with the conspicuous  vacancy  of his two front teeth.

“I’m monitoring anything you watch from here on out,” is all Derek remarks, a long suffering sigh and knowing full and well that Carson hit the nail on the head.

“Do I still have to go to school then?” Carson’s eyes go owlish, and Derek swears by the Angel that Stiles’s been teaching him the art of wrapping Derek around his littlest finger, on the sly. (Well that, or Derek is just a big old succor for his family.)

“Sorry kiddo, but all signs point to yes.”

Carson deflates. “Can I still keep on my Captain of the World suit?”

Derek’s eyes flicker up to the underwear on his son’s head. “Are they clean?”

“Yes, yes I double checked!” Carson squawks gleefully.

“Well then, I see no problem  with that, as long as you got on a fresh pair underneath your pants too.”

“Yes! Thanks daddy!”

Just as soon as the door to Carson’s room clacks shut, a fresh looking Freya steps out of the bathroom—Mouth smelling minty, and her long curls still damp from the night before.

“Daddy?”

“Hey there princess,” Derek hoists her up into his arms, brushing away a stray lock from her heart shaped face. “You had a good talk with aunt Lydia?”

“Yeah, she picked out  anew dress and even shoes, and Uncle Jackson told me how ta put on one of the pretty tattoos he bought me for my birthday.”

“That’s great baby girl!”

“But there’s only one thing daddy.”

“What’s that?”

A moment passes before Freya pulls out a bright brush from her nightgown’s pocket. “Can you give me a princess braid?”

.-

Fifteen minutes, a pair of dressed kids, a very deformed french braid, and a set of permanently woken up twins for the day, later, and the whole family has congregated around their kitchen table.

“Derek we got anymore apple juice?” Stiles shouts from where he’s making his patent, pancake and egg to go sandwiches. Freya’s biting into a cherry tomato before setting it on Marie’s fork, who in turn just pounds her tiny fists into her yogurt in delight, Matty’s munching on his bottle, probably going to be the only one to adopt Derek’s calm demeanor in the whole bunch, but that doesn’t really bother him considering that Stiles’s nonstop chatter is one of the things he finds most endearing about him.

“We’ll need to go to the market this afternoon,” Derek notes before pouring Carson a glass in his favorite, sparkling Ninja Turtle cup, and recycling the emptied bottle afterwards.

“dad, dad! Look!” Carson tugs on Derek’s hand, flailing around an obviously hand drawn picture.

“What’s that little man?”

“’s a chinchilla! Did you know that they sleep in the day time, just like uncle Isaac says he’s gotta do because he’s an artist.”

“is that right?” Derek silently hands Stiles a couple of apples to put in the kids’ lunch bags.

“Yuh! And they only eat grass and can shed their skin like snakes and have huge families just like ours!”

“That’s insane. You think they have brothers and sisters  too?”

“Definitely!” Carson crows, practically jumping up and down. “And this one even has a Uncle Boyd who shows him neat card tricks and an an Aunty Allison who shows’m how to shoot a bow and arrow real good!” Derek idly wonders if Carson’s teacher just thinks he has a hyperactive imagination, or if she just thinks his kid is completely insane. “Do you like it daddy!”

“Yeah Carse,” Derek gives him a blinding grin, genuine to a fault. “I love it.”

“Really?” Carson preens.

“Of course sport.”

“You think Grandpa and Grandma Hale would’ve been proud of  it?”

For a second, Derek’s heart clenches, and he’s back to lonely days and fear ridden nights and the smell of smoke clung onto his very skin. He’s back to thinking he’d never be able to be good enough to ever deserve a family, not after what he’d done. Not after his world crumbled to ash and his heart sunk into itself.

But no.

Derek knows that it wasn’t his fault. Knows that he was a fifteen year old kid who’d fallen right into the trap a woman twice his age had set. He knows now that he never deserved the way he once upon a time use to shelter himself from all the world had to offer because of his fear and guilt and despair. Derek knows that now after years of therapy and assurances from his pack— his family— and especially subsequent countless late night talks with Stiles before they had adopted Freya from a teenage werewolf who wasn’t ready to be a mother.

Derek knows that Carson didn’t mean anything behind the statement, that he and all his siblings know just how much Derek and Stiles and all of their family adores them to bits and pieces, but that doesn’t stop Derek from swinging Carson into his arms, an giving him a slobbering kiss on his cheek.

“ew, gross daddy.”

“I know Grandma and Grandpa Hale would’ve loved this kiddo,”,” he speaks with conviction. “C’mon, help me hang this up on  the fridge with Freya’s spelling test.”

.-

“You sure you can drop’m off to my dad’s  on your way to the precinct?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine if I’m a little late this morning.” Derek chastises, buckling Marie into her carseat, who just gives a little huff of annoyance when his hair is replaced with one of her rattles.

“Alright, alright, I’ll see ya tonight then,” a dopey kind of smile melts into Stiles’s face, right before kissing Derek—one a little more languid that the last, and Derek is appreciative for it. “Your parents would’ve been so proud  of the man you’ve become, just so you know,” Stiles gingerly sweeps a thumb over Derek’s cheek, a small smile tugging on the ends of his lips.

Derek has no idea how to adequately reply, so opts to just kiss him again—hoping it comes across just how much it means to him that Stiles always knows what to say, and how much Derek loves him—that is  until the kids start pounding against the windows to hurry them up.

“Hey wait!” Derek calls out to Stiles, who’s about to swing into the Volvo. “Who lost?”

“Like I said hot stuff,” Stiles leers. “There are no losers in this game!”

Derek thinks he’s a lot a bit in love with him.

.-

Scott and Allison offer to babysit that entire weekend, and Derek is sure  he’s never been so thankful when a very cocky, and very naked Stiles gets down on his knees for Derek the first time in months, and thinks that Stiles feels very much the same if his yells and commands for Derek to go faster already are anything to go by.