#he tends to fall on the side of trust and compassion

[extremely-judgemental]

Long Post (From the Drafts)

I hate Feysand. But it’s just me hating on Feyre, really.

I struggled for so long to put this into words as I couldn’t pinpoint the exact the reason to hate this ship until recently. It isn’t because Rhysand is manipulative or Feyre turned into his trophy wife. Aside from the reenactment of the SA as the stepping stone in their relationship, my problem is solely with Feyre.

To preface this, I don’t care about romances, only the character growth resulting from it. So I don’t care whether Feyre ends up with Rhysand or Tamlin or alone, as long as she evolves.

Warnings. This is completely based on my memory of how the two relationships progressed. Because otherwise I’d have to go through the books to cite and I really, really don’t want to. As it’s hard to explain this objectively without talking about the author’s influence in the narrative, this could be also taken as more of a writing critique on how to NOT write characters falling in and out of love. Basically, it’s a jumbled mess and it took turns on its own and there will be lots of psychology talk. Also, THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION FOR SHIP WARS. Don’t bring that shit here.

The common assumption is that Feyre and Tamlin weren’t good for each other from the start, which is only partly true. The first book had just a spark of potential since more were lined up in the series exploring their relationship. Feylin falling apart was not inevitable. They definitely had strong bones to build upon.

Their relationship starts out almost whimsical, a necessary reprieve from their lives for both Tamlin and Feyre. The two come together under the worst of circumstances and grow to understand each other.

Feyre is a mortal who sees Tamlin with fresh eyes, without the stain of his reputation. And Tamlin gets to see a side of her in return, one even her family didn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge. He experiences her as a person instead of her burdens or responsibilities.

Feyre finds a kindness that she was never offered with a beast. Tamlin learns that a huntress can have a heart after all.

Their relationship was built on shared values and beliefs like compassion for other lives, intolerance towards injustices, the youngest sibling forced to take on mantles they didn’t choose for themselves. They accepted each other despite their flaws and cruel choices. They fought for each other. They endured so much for each other.

Despite all this, the romantic notes were quite lacking and physical attraction was thrown in too soon to compensate for it. This undermined the bond the two had which is often considered the proof that their relationship wasn’t real or ideal. Whereas there clearly was a beautiful connection between them, one that neither had in their lives until they found each other. Even Lucien’s friendship doesn’t compare to this as Tamlin is still his saviour which forged an unwavering trust and loyalty.

To have developed such deep bond with someone for the first time in her life, Feyre is quick to move on. She states that she fell in love with the first person who offered her kindness and presents herself as a misguided being preyed upon by someone. But in truth, none of Tamlin’s love or kindness was fake.

Feyre wasn’t safe with Tamlin, I agree. It isn’t her choice of leaving that bothers me as much as her responses. The kind of resentment Feyre harbours towards Tamlin usually comes from prolonged trauma which completely replaces every good memory in the mind. Or if the relationship was built under false pretences and the victim is forced to accept their reality. Neither is the case here.

At best, all of this—leaving UtM, the almost wedding, leaving Spring for good—happens in less than a year. And given the list of trials Feyre lived through until then, what happened in Spring was only a blip. Trauma is unpredictable and so is the response. None of Feyre’s reactions are impossible given her circumstances, but they are so inconsistent that it feels forced.

Victims tend to have some sort of attachment with their abusers and fond memories even when they understand the gravity of their situation. Feyre had core moments that made her fall in love with her time in Spring—trapping Tamlin in the forest, swimming in the stardust lake, dancing for him and with him, her bond with Alis, the teasing with Lucien who was her first ever friend. All of it is instead treated as an illusion that Feyre wakes up from when her initial feelings were clear. She was finally, truly free and experienced genuine happiness with them but she remembers none of it again. She readily demonises everyone and hates them without hesitation. Not once does she reminisce her past, or mourn the life she left behind.

Feyre forces herself to relive the traumatic moments over and over again until the image of Tamlin as her villain is cemented in her mind. While she feels no need to do the same around Rhysand when she knows he can’t be trusted. Granted she doesn’t remember the SA itself, she however remembers the head mounted on a spike, her mind being violated, her arm being broken, being tricked and coerced, being stripped naked and paraded, being forced upon twice, and yet, she has no reaction towards him.

There are two other key moments which stand out. Feyre tried to escape Tamlin’s mansion after agreeing to go with him, but she doesn’t attempt anything similar in Night during the initial stays in Moonstone Palace. Of course, later she is homeless and alone in a strange world, but she has always been an advocate for freedom and she should have at least resisted the idea of living in a secret city no one knows about (basically a high class prison), which she doesn’t. Though this could very well be exhaustion from living in survival for long, it is also an attempt to drive the idea that Feyre feels safer with her supposed tormentor than the partner she chose.

The other is her hatred for Spring when she returns from Hybern. She despises everything, she can’t stand the mansion, the gardens, the people. But she had none of this anger or loathing for CoN, which mirrors UtM, when she plays Rhysand’s whore again.

Besides Feyre has a lot of issues on her end which is completely ignored. She is very controlling and she loses a part of it when she is expected to play her role in Spring. For someone as reckless as her, she couldn’t speak the way she wanted. She couldn’t act the way she wanted. And she definitely couldn’t lord her importance over Tamlin to have her way, like she is used to with her family in the past.

Despite being so perceptive, she doesn’t grasp the idea that she can’t and won’t be everyone’s priority. Feyre wants to be doted on. As a result of childhood neglect, she convinces herself that she is above it. The narrative wouldn’t let Feyre acknowledge this either since she is a feminist hero and she can’t have girly needs like love. She can’t be like other women.

But it is obvious with how her relationship with Tamlin cracks. During her first stay in Spring, Feyre had the undivided attention of Tamlin and Lucien alike. She wasn’t exposed to the court matters as most of his subjects were cloaked.

After UtM, Feyre sees Tamlin, the High Lord of Spring. She resents everything about him when he tends to his court—rehabilitating his subjects through the social events, entertaining priestesses in his court, even a basic tax collection.

Tamlin’s attention is now shared between Feyre and his duty. When she feared his devotion for her was slipping away, she began resenting him. She turned Tamlin into the scapegoat for every pain she was ever dealt. This is contrasted with Rhysand who is overly zealous about her (and literally doesn’t do anything court related ever). Feyre doesn’t have to want attention with him, she just gets it in abundance.

The more we look into these contrasts, it feels like Feyre forced herself into falling out of love rather than it being a direct consequence of Tamlin’s actions. Ignoring the bond and its influence, the switch from one man to another so lightly, to me, it doesn’t even feel like she fell out of love. Instead, what she had for Tamlin was trust. She had learnt to rely on someone for the first time in her life and she felt abandoned again.

And most of her feelings after leaving him is guilt that revolved around pursuing a new romance too soon. The first instance I remember clearly is right before she goes into the Weaver’s cottage. That happens weeks within of leaving Spring permanently. That’s how long it took to move on from a man she died for only months ago to flirting with the man who sexually abused. (I am a liar, I remember the others too. Rubbing the tattooed hand on herself comment, teasing Rhysand after stealing from Summer. Yeah, they are despicable and I hate the pair.)

Feyre essentially cheated on Tamlin emotionally long before she ended the relationship or decided to do so. This is not a judgement given the complicated situation but combining it with everything else, her guilt is again just a forced narrative so she can retain the saintly status.

The note she sent to Tamlin is a character armour as none of her actions so far imply Feyre believes her old relationship deserves a proper closure. It comes off like an afterthought that Feyre is only acting out of societal customs. But you can also tell it is the author trying so hard for the readers to not blame Feyre for enjoying the sexual act in CoN. Even without the note, Lucien could’ve come looking for her in Night and it wouldn’t affect the plot differently. The only purpose of the note is to protect Feyre from scrutiny and eliminate any grace for Tamlin.

Instead of disrespecting the sacrifices the two made for each other and ridiculing their struggles for a dramatic yet effortless partner swap, I’d have preferred if they had come to realise they weren’t right for each other, that the three months broke something in them, that Amarantha succeeded in tearing them apart, and moving on amicably.

But now, as a result, her relationship with Rhysand comes off as coping—to some extent, denial even—instead of genuine. The biggest flaw in this narrative is again not Feyre’s choice but the lack of emotional substance in her.

Her intense monologues and outbursts at times are often mistaken for emotional depth. But since moving to Night, Feyre becomes a mouthpiece for Rhysand’s state of mind and a device to endlessly justify him rather than processing her own feelings about him or her new life. There is no organic growth in their relationship as she is quick to agree with what’s fed to her without questioning anything.

While it’s a common notion that Rhysand manipulated Feyre, it is true only to a degree. In order to turn someone as stubborn as her, Rhysand will have to hit every one of her vulnerabilities and make her doubt every belief she ever had. But he doesn’t have to try so hard. At best, he gives her a slight explanation and Feyre takes it as gospel.

The only time she truly hesitates is when she learns of Velaris. It’s because she is supposed to. Because she is a strong female lead who can’t be gullible and believe her tormentor. Although phrased as such, she doesn’t really question it out of curiosity or because of her morals. She doesn’t pause to wonder if these ideals are something she agrees with, if it goes against her values. If the latter were the case, she’d question if the Illyrians, a race she knows nothing about, are really all brutes. She’d question if the people of Hewn City, again a bunch she’s never met, are all evil especially if Rhysand and Morrigan turned out alright.

Feyre always had a skewed sense of morality but it takes a much clearer form after she moves to Night. Her disdain towards her sisters and opinion about the townspeople represent her narcissism and shallowness. She also has a superiority complex, in my opinion, which actually drives her to oppose Tamlin during the tithe and offer charity to the water sprites.

Her kindness and compassion is very selective and circumstantial, and this is easily directed towards the people of Velaris. Not to mention the community that affected her the most was the artisans’. Because Feyre saw herself in them, saw them as vulnerable and the ones deserving of protection. And this belief is extended to the rest of the city.

I digress. Rhysand strokes this side of her. He feeds her ego by making her believe she has power through a sex show. In Illyria, he goads her into believing she is a match to the Generals (who knows how old they are) who have been trained to war all their lives.

The longer this dynamic is explored, there is one conclusion for me. Feyre doesn’t love Rhysand either as much as she loves the sense of power and importance she has with him. Feyre is basically a parasite and will latch onto anyone who benefits her. At the moment, Rhysand does, by validating her in ways no one else does. As long as he offers her a modicum of control over her life or others, and reveres as someone who can do no wrong, she will be by his side.

[dragonagehyperfixationwoo]

Omg @officialnostradamus thank you so much for the tag!! I'm gonna do this lil Rook study for my girl Zaria Mercar ❤️ also I've never done one of these so whoo!

Compassion: 9/10 - She is super empathetic, and is the person to drop everything they are doing to help another. In this way she often neglects things that affect her in favor of supporting someone else, which has helped her in her work with the Shadow Dragons, but not necessarily helped her mental health.

Bitterness: 4/10 - Zaria doesn't tend to carry a lot of resentment around with her, partly due to her out-of-sight out-of-mind mentality, however Elgar'nan has earned a special little corner in the deep dark recesses of her heart. She feels a lot of her bitterness in the moment, rather than later.

Happiness: 6/10 - For all that's happened, she's actually doing pretty okay- she's taking one from Bellara's book. Her happiness would probably be a lot higher if she hadn't lost Neve to Elgar'nan during the siege on Tearstone Island. Losing her, then going through the regret prison really tested her resilience. Seeing Neve there really solidified just how much 'saving the world' had taken a toll on her.

Politeness: 5/10 - Zaria is very good at acting polite, and generally is with people. However, she is a jokester and can sometimes have a bit of trouble reading the room. She also is very black and white in her understanding of people- aka if you do something and she perceives it as something a bad person would do, then that's it. You are bad in her eyes.

Chivalry: 5/10 - She is not great at this, but not terrible. She really does try to be chivalrous, but she has really bad timing and a hard time expressing herself.

Pride: 9/10 - She is definitely prideful. She is very confident in her actions and where she puts her trust, so much so that she can become blind to trickery. She's a little peeved that she sees so much of herself in the way Solas presents himself, especially because she believes she's a lot better than he is as a person.

Honesty: 8/10 - Oh, she definitely cannot lie. Her face will give her away if the obvious pitch change didn't already. The only way she can lie is by omission (another of those things that she sees reflected in Solas), which she does often in her line of work, but if she could choose she wouldn't bother lying at all.

Love: 3/10 - Zaria is TERRIFIED- not of falling in love, but of not knowing that she is, or isn't. Even with how hard Neve's disappearance hit her, she still second-guesses her feelings toward her. She really wants to be in love, but when she encounters it, it scares her.

Bravery: 9/10 - She honestly doesn't consider herself brave, but she knows she's not a coward. Her actions, however, like running into battle headfirst with only her confidence in her abilities? That must count for something. She is not afraid to stand against overwhelming odds, and in fact, she does her best work when all the world is stacked against her.

Recklessness: 10/10 - Oh yeah. This is definitely her in a nutshell. She's a rogue that runs in without a plan, fights like a tank, and basically regrets none of her actions. She is action first, consequences later through and through.

Ambition: 6/10 - Her goal in life is to get rid of "Bad people," and she actively works on that whether she has a mission or not. She does not wait or stutter in her purpose, if there is evil she will be there to staunch it.

Loyalty: 6/10 - Zaria is extremely loyal to the people she has chosen to keep close, but if you are outside of that circle don't expect her to take your side. She relies on her judgement of the good in people, and if she is working with you and you do something she deems bad, then immediately you have lost all respect and fealty from her.

Sense of Family: 8/10 - In terms of the family she grew up with, the Mercar's are incredibly important to her. She was adopted by them at a very young age and considers them her family even if they aren't blood related, she trusts them wholly and completely. In terms of the Veilguard, she tries to be as open and understanding as she can with them. She trusts her team and has come to view them as her family and closest friends.

Attractiveness: 7/10 - She's pretty enough to get away with being overly confident and a bit socially inept- and she won over Neve so she's at least cute! (I think she's 100/10 but I'm biased)

Agility: 7/10 - Being a rogue from the Shadow Dragons she has to stay pretty limber and flexible. She's very light on her feet but not necessarily sneaky, she's just good enough to dodge consistently. She does have a lot of nasty scars from her failed attempts though, seeing as she fights everyone and everything like she's got nothing to lose.

Sex Drive: 9/10 - She is basically always ready, short flings and one night stands are something she's very comfortable with. Sex is fun and exciting and something to be shared, and she is very fond of it.

***** AAA well there's Zaria Mercar for Y'all, I just love her so much <3

She's basically just Autistic... Like me woooooooo

Yay for rep!

Thank you again for the tag! I don't know who to tag so whoever wants to do this should!! ^o^

[palmolli]

my groozelink fankids along with a messy ahh family tree

The oldest is Impa, and then the youngest, Gannon (with a second n) (debating giving him a different name). I've had these two for... a while. I've tried writing a fic about them because I do have the basic idea for the story, and I'm just unsure of what to put in it.

MORE ABOUT THEM BELOW 😊😊😊

I know groozelink isn't very popular with a lot of people, but I like don't care, lol. You can have your ships lemme have mine 😊. Because of that, I've been kinda putting off posting about them, also because they've been stuck in a draft stage for ages. But this is Tumblr, so I'm just gonna do what I want, I guess. ANYWAYS TIME TO RANT ABOUT MY BABIES YAAAAY

Oh gosh, Impa. The girl has a million pounds of pressure put on her, being the child of Hylia reborn and the Hero and all. She has to live up to both of their legacies, and she's expected to make an even greater legacy of her own. So she trained hard to be the very best, Like No One Ever Was (tm). Now she's buff as flip, can sword fight like a demon... but... she's constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown. The pressure is starting to get to her, and any moment she might crack and snap at everyone. She truly wants to help people and be an inspiring leader, but it's difficult to do that when her fuse is burnt out. She seeks purpose, but the purpose in question has been forced onto her by everyone around her (other than her family). Her parents constantly try to tell her that she doesn't need to prove herself, but she can't bring herself to believe that. Her moral compass and sense of justice is strong. Step out of line, and she'll correct you... even if what you did was insignificant... She has trouble being vulnerable around people, even those she trusts the most. Like her boyfriend, Rauru, who's been by her side since childhood. (YES THE GUY FROM OOT) (😈😈😈😈) (MWEHEHEHEU- COUGHHHH) mess with her peeps, and she'll kill you, no questions asked. (She gets it from her dad) She wants to uplift others, but currently, she's down in the dumps herself and refuses any sort of help at all despite people trying to help her.

GANNON!!!! the family baby(tm). He's still a child of the Hero and Hylia, so he's got expectations... except he's falling behind on all of them and has given up on appeasing anyone entirely. But that doesn't mean all the talk of his sister being God 2.0 doesn't get to him. Being the youngest of three sisters (Groose was with Peatrice before he said Fuck It, and followed his heart i guess. (peatrice didn't rlly gaf she was lesbian anyways) (lavender marriage core!!!!)) leaves him feeling alone all the time, especially now that Impa moved out of the house to live with her boyfriend. He's a jokester like his dad, and also, like his father, that jokester quality is just there to make up for his crippling self-doubt. He spends his time making weapons rather than using them. Eventually, he meets a Sheikah boy named Kira, (name still pending currently), who tends to pass out if he stands up too fast... stands for too long... he just passes out a lot for some reason... (pots.) And because of that, Kira's family considers him a Big Fat Disappointment, but he doesn't seem to gaf. They click instantly. Also... Kira has flipping MAGICK. Gannon didn't inherit any magic from his mother for some flipping dumb reason and finds Kira's sort of magic to be awesome, but... a little... dangerous, and tries to tell Kira he shouldn't use it so much. Kira doesn't really listen. Also, they're GAY. 😊

The story is basically about the Imprisoning War, as seen in Twilight Princess, but not really, and that's why I made these dang kids.

If it had game-play, it would be like Hyrule Warriors, basically. Different battles are in the povs of certain select characters, and each one moves the story along in one way or another. 👍👍

Pls internet like them please plsss pslslsss

Also, if you think the family tree is convoluted, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing it, lol. My irl family tree is way worse, and this is sort of based on my own family tree and experiences. (I relate to Gannon on a personal level)

[real-jaune-isms]

How Robin Would Confess: A Lesson in Vocabulary

*Zoro is sitting on a bench in the gym, napping after completing a workout and being cooled by the breeze coming in through an open window. Robin suddenly emerges through the trapdoor with a book in hand and the noise rouses him to look over and see her. A smile and nod is all they need for her to sit on the opposite side of the room and start quietly reading while he returns to his rest. But after a few minutes she clears her throat to get his attention and he wakes up to listen to whatever she's going to say*

Robin: Zoro, do you know what sublime means?

Zoro: Well I don’t hear a word like that too often, but I’m pretty sure it means amazing and perfect. That about right?

Robin: More or less, that’s what it tends to mean these days, yes. But the true meaning is much deeper, and I think you might enjoy hearing it.

Zoro: I probably won’t have a reason to use it much, but sure go ahead. Robin: Sublime is a descriptor for something that is possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. It's something that possesses a wildness and power that transcends human ability to control or even comprehend. Zoro: *sitting up a little more straight* Is that so? Robin: *giggles at Zoro being just as interested as she thought he would be* Indeed. Things like standing on the edge of a canyon leaning as far as you dare over the edge and still not seeing the floor below, waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a thunderstorm, or more apt for people like us, soaring straight up through the clouds on the Knock-Up Stream with the wind in our sails. Zoro: I think I getcha. So sublime is the word for an untamable force of nature whose grandeur brings you to your knees in awe and terror? Robin: Precisely! For instance, I think you're sublime~ Zoro: *is speechless and blushing, mouth agape* Bu-wu-huh?... Robin: Fuhuhuhu!~ You're so adorable, Zoro-kun~ *she gets up and crosses the room to sit next to him* We both know things between us have been growing steadily closer, more flirtatious, and it's taken some time to decide what that might end up meaning. I've wanted to tell you just how much you mean to me for a while now, and I simply couldn't find a better word for you than that so I wanted to be sure you knew what I meant by it. You are sublime, Zoro. And to put it a little more plainly... Zoro: *holds up a hand* I think I can guess what you wanna say, you don't have to say it. Robin: I'm afraid I insist. I had to gather my courage to come up here and say it, I want to see it through. And you deserve to hear someone tell you this. Zoro: Dammit, and I thought the cook was sappy... Robin: Roronoa Zoro... I love you~ Zoro: I know. Robin: *pouting* Would you please take this seriously?? You know what troubles I've had with opening my heart... Zoro: I do, yeah. Which is why I could tell it was for real when you started falling for me. It felt pretty significant, so I've been taking it seriously the whole time and trying to decide if I was good enough for that love. I've always trusted your judgement with big decisions though, so if I'm what you want then I must be doing something right. So, I know you love me. And I love you too, Robin~ Robin: *smiles brightly and wraps an arm around his before leaning over and giving him the kiss this romantic moment so rightly deserves* For the record, with the exception of keeping an internal compass, I think you do everything right, Zoro-kun~ Zoro: Hmph. Well I know how to find... this. Robin: *arching her back and gripping the cushion beneath them* Aahhhhh!~ W-Well... I can think o-of worse ways to christen a relationship~ *Anything further is silenced by another kiss, and from that point onward neither of them keep their hands idle*

[elliepassmore]

City of Stardust review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: alternate worlds, secret societies, mystery, magic

The feeling the book gives off is wonderful and it reminds me of books such as Stardust or The Golden Compass in terms of feel. There's magic and a quest and traveling to different places and meeting different people, and there are two groups with diametrically opposed goals. All of if makes for an interesting story and I was on the edge of my seat rooting for Violet.

Fidelis is a city that has been torn asunder by a long ago event and now only exists with access to the normal human plane of existence instead of a multitude of worlds. The scholars there study how to manipulate godmetal, reveurite, and use special keys to travel between their world and the one they have access to. It's a really interesting premise, and I do wish we got to see more of Fidelis in the book. There are two narrators from the city, Aleksander and Penelope, but both are scholars and tend to be tied up in their work in the scholars' tower rather than walking around the city, so we don't see much of it.

The Everly family is tied up in this somehow, though they themselves are not scholars. Their family, however, is cursed, and one Everly from each generation vanishes. Marianne Everly, we learn at the start of the novel, is determined to find a way to escape this fate and also prevent it happening to her daughter. But vanishing without word or trace does leave its scars on the people left behind, and Violet grows up not truly believing in the curse, but knowing her mother is gone. The Everly storyline is what's at the center of the novel and there's a race to find Marianne Everly, and hopefully stop the curse, before it becomes Violet's turn to be taken, while on the flip side there are people working to try and ensure Violet fails and is taken. It's a very interesting epic adventure wrapped up in less than 400 pages.

Violet grows up a secret, and even once she's no longer a secret, she's still hidden. As a result, she longs for adventure and to get to see the world and meet the people in it. She's also a bit too trusting, which sometimes gets her in trouble (and sometimes more than once with the same person). But she's also stubborn and loves and protects fiercely. When she discovers the truth, she is angry, but she's determined to find a solution to the curse and protect not only herself but her uncles as well. Despite growing up sheltered, she's able to quickly follow the trail of her mother and gain allies along the way.

Aleksander grew up in Fidelis as an apprentice scholar. He's Penelope's assistant, and yet he lacks her cruelty, though he can be just as ambitious and determined. Despite having grown up with knowledge and worlds at his fingertips he is, in a way, more naive than Violet because he wants to believe that Penelope is good and thus is blind to the way her tasks for him wreak havoc and put others in danger. Like Violet, he makes the mistake of trusting the wrong person more than once, but in the end figures it out. Aleksander wants to belong more than anything, and he struggles through much of the novel with feelings of inadequacy and questions over his place in the world.

There is romance in this book but I'm not sure I believed it. At first, yes, but not after that. Circumstance and time get in the way and then there's trust issues and when things finally come together the characters have really barely known each other for long. It's a pretty minor part of the book though.

Penelope is quite obviously the bad guy from the moment she walks onto the page. She's cold as a star and slippery as a serpent, and she's very very good at manipulating people, though sometimes she does resort to brute force. She actually reminds me a bit of what would happen if Yvaine and Tristran from Stardust had an epic, nasty falling out and Yvaine then sought revenge.

I liked Violet's uncles as well. Gabriel is in and out of Violet's life but he exhibits the kind of doting care that a distant, rich uncle might. Ambrose is the one who really raised Violet. Despite not knowing what exactly he was doing, he still stepped into the role and became a good parental figure to Violet, protecting her and loving her while also raising her to be the person she is. This little trio of Everlys obviously have a lot of love for one another and I enjoyed their group interactions as well as their one-on-one interactions with each other.

Overall I enjoyed this book and found it to be very atmospheric. The storyline is interesting and had me hooked until the last page. It's the perfect book if you want an epic fantasy but don't want to commit to a long book.

[redstringraven]

oop forgot to say

25 & 16 was for nyxram

>:D aaa, thank you so much!!! appreciate it! 💜

edgy/misc OC ask meme

16) what is your OC's pain tolerance like?

i imagine it's disturbingly high... to what's, like, probably an unhealthy amount. triceratons are tanks as a whole already*--due to their size, thick skin, and high-temperature tolerance--and here you have one who likely finds more nostalgia in certain pains than she does foods, smells or music (she didn't even grow up with access to music, so). yeah, nyxram is definitely one of those people where like. if you shoot her, you better know it's going to kill her. otherwise all you'll have managed to do is irritate her at best and piss her off at worst. she's not going to go down unless she's either dead or her body just physically gives out on her. which, again: not easy to do with triceratons in general. ...nyx could be standing in the meeting room bleeding from her side and be more concerned with excusing herself so she doesn't stain the floor or equipment than, y'know. the fact she has an open wound in her side. *they're hella nerfed in-series imo, and i'm gonna blame that on zanramon because he's there; don't @ me (lh)

25) what is your favorite thing about your OC?

gosh... i have a few, but for brevity i think i'll say: i love that she's a morally-gray character and also that because of the background i've given her, it's given me an opportunity to play with different approaches to triceraton combat and weaponized tech. like, post-rebellion nyx struggles with falling into old habits or old ways of thinking; she finds herself eavesdropping on her squad or traximus when she's quietly seeking '''moral guidance'''. she's a person who grew up in extreme isolation with, essentially, two serial-killers-for-hire as parents/teachers, raised and forged to kill. she had enough of a compass to realize she wanted out of that life, but now that she's out? she's having to learn, relearn, and unlearn all sorts of things. and there're times she falters; close as they've gotten, she and traximus butt heads about plenty of things. trax often wants to do things right. nyx often wants to get them done. it can be a lot of fun to think about how she might have moments of pause and internal struggle when it comes to choosing to listen to traximus or a squad member over something and trust their judgement, or if she chooses to solve the problem in a way she knows "worked" for her in the past. she hasn't been 'fixed' or made 'right' now that the external conflict of the old republic and rebellion has passed. the internal conflict is still very much there, and it's an interesting thing to get to explore. as for the combat/tech elements, i'm still trying to re-design nyx's suit to better reflect her as an assassin while also leaning a bit more into a scifi greek/roman-inspired look instead of something more based in the triceraton soldier's uniform, personalized tech included. i also want her to have a very distinct way she holds herself when ""working"" that makes her appear even more alien compared to the postures of triceraton soldiers. like, the ones we see in-series hold themselves similarly to how soldiers as we know them might--straight posture, kinda stiff, upright, grounded footing, etc. but when i picture nyxram, i tend to see her with her weight more on her toes/balls of her feet, and her posture slightly hunched with a wider stance. ...more 'dinosaur' or bird-like elements to her gait, presence, and overall silhouette, making her intimidating in a new and different way. "i've never seen a triceraton move like that", other races might mutter. ...some triceratons, too.

[angelickks]

#NAV.ᐟ supernatural mlist

[HUNTER DOSSIER – UNOFFICIAL]

Name: Sam Winchester Known As: Moose (Crowley), Sammy (Max & Dean), The Boy King Other Aliases: Agent Collins, Lucifer’s Vessel, The Miracle Kid Status: Active Classification: Hunter / Human (Psychically altered) / Former Vessel Age: Early 40s First Sighting: Lawrence, KS – house fire (see Case File #00001) Affiliation: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Jack Kline, Rowena MacLeod Reputation: Brains of the operation. Morality forged in Hellfire and free will. If Dean’s the blade, Max is the gun, Sam’s the compass.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Height: 6’4” Build: Tall, broad-shouldered, deceptively strong Hair: Dark brown, often falling into his eyes Eyes: Hazel—some say they change shade with mood or magic exposure Distinguishing Marks:

Anti-possession tattoo on chest

Scar on palm from sealing the Cage

Occasional migraine lines—residue from psychic echoes TATTOO FILE: "FORGIVEN / FORBIDDEN"

Location: Inner forearm, mirrored in Latin

Style: Clean, symmetrical script—precise, academic

Translation: Both a reminder and a warning

Detail: Ink glows faintly under certain moon phases—reason unknown

KNOWN ABILITIES

Combat:

Trained in Krav Maga, blades, firearms.

Hits with surgical precision—prefers efficiency over carnage.

Carries a silver-plated machete for quick decapitations.

Ritual Mastery:

Multilingual in Latin, Enochian, Sumerian, and some ancient Persian.

Can read, modify, and create sigils from memory.

Built the Devil’s Trap bullet casing.

Mental Fortitude:

Survived Lucifer in his mind for over a year.

Broke possession through willpower alone.

Functions through immense psychological strain with clarity.

Psychic Residue (Dormant):

Subjected to demon blood infusion as an infant.

Developed visions, telekinesis, and precognition (all suppressed).

Possible latent sensitivity—he “feels” when things are wrong.

PSYCH PROFILE

Temperament: Thoughtful, driven, idealistic. When pushed, cold and calculating. Tends to overthink everything.

Moral Compass: Ruthlessly ethical when it matters. Will bend rules, not break people. Believes in redemption—unless you’ve hurt his family.

Trauma History:

Lost mother at 6 months.

Raised in motels, trained in monster lore before learning algebra.

Manipulated by demons and angels alike.

Sought normalcy. Watched it die.

Once flung himself into Hell with Lucifer still inside. Did not expect to survive.

Notable Patterns:

Refuses to let others suffer alone.

Trusts too easily—and then not at all.

Carries everyone else’s guilt like it’s his own.

Fun Fact: Addicted to research. Has opinions about artisanal coffee. Owns more flannel than anyone in North America.

ASSOCIATES

Dean Winchester: Brother, anchor, protector and protected. Will walk through fire if Dean’s on the other side.

Castiel: Respected. Sometimes confides in him when Dean won’t listen. Has questioned his angelic logic more than once.

Max Winchester: His closest bond outside Dean. Intellectual equals, emotionally synced. Their dynamic is protective, codependent in a way neither talks about, but both would bleed for. When she goes dark, Sam pulls her back. When he doubts, she reminds him why they keep fighting.

MOST NOTABLE HUNTS

CASE #00003 – “Bloody Mary”Location: Toledo, OH Summary: Mirror spirit feeding on hidden guilt. Sam lured her by confessing he had dreams about Jessica’s death. Faced her down with tears and steel nerves. Quote: “I should’ve saved her.”

CASE #01900 – “The Cage”Location: Hell Summary: Volunteered to host Lucifer and Michael to trap them in the Cage. Dove in willingly. Broke the laws of Heaven and Hell to do it. Casualties: Himself. Took years to come back. Quote: “It has to be me.”

CASE #03551 – “Godfall”Location: Everywhere Summary: Helped lead the charge to dethrone Chuck. Defied fate, prophecy, and divine manipulation. Stood for free will when the world was unraveling. Outcome: God defeated. Humanity handed back the pen. Quote: “We make our own future.”

WARNINGS / NOTES

DO NOT TRY TO MANIPULATE HIM. He’ll figure it out—then dismantle you slowly, piece by piece, ritual by ritual.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE HIS DARK SIDE. When Sam breaks, it’s clean. And permanent. Mercy is optional.

HE IS NOT HIS BROTHER. But he’ll burn the world down just as fast if it means saving him.

HE’S NOT JUST A HUNTER. He’s what happens when a boy who wanted peace is handed a war. He’s the mind that learned to fight like a weapon—because love gave him no choice.

“He looks like the soft one. That’s the camouflage.” — Rowena MacLeod

[altarfates]

Cheng Xiaoshi had been learning compromise, it seemed discordant when his heart was inevitably in the right place, yet there was no kind gesture, no good intention that came without consequence. It didn’t seem fair, urged on by an ache so profoundly ingrained that it demanded to be heard albeit still unable to impactfully alter the past, unable to save anyone. There was a hopelessness that became inextricably woven between their cases, a resignation that he couldn’t quite bring himself to acknowledge, witnessing how others suffered because of his compassion had left him to flinch before his own touch. Even if he were tenacious, seizing those elusive strands of fate and desperately wanting to change things, he couldn’t, some things needed the input of both of them to lead to an outcome he could willingly face. Cheng Xiaoshi had always trusted Lu Guang, this was an extension of that, a compliance he could acquiesce to because it was him — willing to change his course of action instead of impulsively stumbling into peril. This normalcy feels too perfect to be jeopardized by their powers or the corollary of interfering with the past. Cheng Xiaoshi’s smiles come easy, even when they’re bickering like that, loitering at the threshold of the door and holding it open for him courteously as Lu Guang casts a side-long gaze at him. ❝ Uh huh, together.❞  he extends it in offering, tilting his head as he appraises the other’s expression, dark, tousled hair becoming a nuisance as it gets in the way of his view of Lu Guang.  ❝ Yeah, doesn’t sound too bad does it ? ❞ a contagious grin tugs at the corners of his mouth, because Lu Guang hasn’t out-right dismissed him, doesn’t refute him with the irrefutable evidence that his naming process was anarchic and arbitrary — who would recommend calling their cat grenade ? honestly, part of him still felt like it was a badass name. If he was a cat, could he say for certain he would be opposed to being called something like missile or grenade ? Whilst their unbiased third party did have the penchant for being a little biased in opposition of him, they could always turn to qiao ling to mediate if they were unable to settle on an appropriate name. He had an inkling that she would want to meet them anyway, an introduction that might be full of probing for his reasoning whilst simultaneously stroking the offending feline infatuated with its tiny, delicate paw-pads and curious wide-eyes. Cheng Xiaoshi was kind of looking forward to her reaction, almost as much as he was to seeing Lu Guang eventually melt whilst diligently taking care of them, even if he was only supposed to catch glimpses of it and not stand transfixed by the endearing scene playing out before him. ❝  You’re just gonna put me on the spot like that — aren’t you ? ❞ they fall in step as if it’s the most normal thing in the world and in theory, maybe it is. Because he hasn’t been known to keep many friends, it isn’t because he’s belligerent, in fact, most would agree he’s rather amicable, the sort to share laughs and good times with but beyond that, there was this inexplicable distance that seemed to wedge itself between him and others. There had been so many times where relationships like that felt onerous, because Cheng Xiaoshi was so impassioned, or impulsive or stubborn, others tended to drift away, as if he were destined to reiterate those reunions and partings in an eternal succession. This was the easiest things had ever felt for him, even when his emotions spurred him into acting rashly, even when he asked miserably if he would ever see his parents again, he had never once felt rejected by Lu Guang. Integrating into his life, sharing moments from the most mundane to the irrevocably changing were different now, because the two of them were together.

 ❝ Hmmm.. ❞ his arms cross languidly behind his head, fingers idling in the dark whorls that rest at his nape. He really had some good names, he swears he did but somehow they had been utterly effaced by seeing the name oven baked goods in elegant scrawl above a photo of a tabby kitten. Now, every subsequent name seemed displaced by things like: pickles, atomic toaster, meat-loaf, general george pawshington. ❝ How about…❞ Ah, he really was coming up with nothing right now wasn’t he ? After so boldly claiming he had an impressive cat name lined up even the captious Lu Guang would agree to. His shoulders slumped, matching Lu Guang stride for stride despite how despondent his posture currently was, giving a loose tug of frustration to the wisps of dark hair like they held the elusive name that was lingering on the tip of his tongue.  ❝ Actually, wise master lu guang, since the really cool-and-totally-awesome  name grenade got such a bad reception I kinda wanna hear what you were thinking of, then we go from there ? ❞ 

The streets leading to the shelter were relatively short, tending to wind around large, imposing edifices and tucked amongst a sanctuary of old, gnarled tree trucks. It felt inconspicuous yet somehow entirely out of place when one considered the stretches of sombre asphalt and discordant grind of traffic outside. He had spotted it on google-maps and zoomed in with a dubious expression, side-scrolling through an array of photos ranging from clear including the faces of satisfied customers to streaks of amorphous colour he could have only surmise were fur. He had even gone as far as to scope it out on his last walk to the milk-tea place, Lu Guang should be impressed with how much of the initiative he had taken. ❝ Already on it, check this out ? ❞ he goes to reach for his phone, nestled in his back pocket when the strident tolling of a bell rings out and he is hastily jerked closer to Lu Guang. His last step almost misses the concrete and for a moment the immanence of falling claws its way up his spine violently, a hand reaching out to involuntarily splay itself against his chest, the passers by hurtling past with adrenaline surging through their veins and their laughter on the wind. Theirs isn’t anything compared to his right now, his heart thrumming out an erratic cadence against his chest, his dark eyes flitting up despite their slight difference in height to catch upon his inscrutable gaze. ❝  Nice save. ❞  he musters the will to laugh but it holds the vestiges of that burst of fear that had heralded what should have been knees colliding with cement and pain shuddering behind his eyelids. His hand comes to rest atop Lu Guang’s, not really to deter him or shake him off but like he needed that tactile, grounding sense of skin beneath skin to breathe again. ❝ About the cat food, right ? I found some, uh, online, cat food. ❞ he reiterates, like the question had been posed to begin with. ❝  What if she gets lonely ? besides, sentencing someone to sleep on the couch their first night seems kinda .. not good cat-parent conduct. ❞ 

calling them ready to be cat parents might be a stretch, but for some reason, lu guang finds himself quietly entertained by cheng xiaoshi’s spirited attempts to convince him otherwise. the way cheng xiaoshi throws himself into the argument — rolling up his sleeves, gesturing wildly from left to right, moving with purpose from the couch to the front door — is almost endearing. he doesn’t realize it, but there are very few things lu guang wouldn’t do for him. ironically, that’s what makes it feel absurd for lu guang to deny him the joy of adopting a cat. especially when cheng xiaoshi meets every rebuttal with an earnest enthusiasm, complete with willingness to listen to rules and guidelines to ensure both their happiness and the cat’s well-being. no more stealing cats off the street. no bringing animals home before discussing it thoroughly with lu guang. no more searching for loopholes in rules that are meant to be absolute.

and yet, there’s elizabeth. she had been the exception — a brief, chaotic experiment that hadn’t even lasted a week. lu guang remembers all too well that she was taken with the best of intentions, even if the act had technically been theft. cheng xiaoshi isn’t a thief by choice. his actions are driven by good will. lu guang, however, is a thief well aware of how much time he has stolen. even then struggles to justify his own rule-breaking without confronting an uncomfortable truth: that he might just be the biggest hypocrite not only in the apartment, but possibly the entire street — or city. cheng xiaoshi is selfless, lu guang knows this as well as he knows his own shortcomings. because where cheng xiaoshi breaks rules out of kindness, lu guang can’t help but see his own transgressions as selfish acts. and now, standing there with keys in hand, caught in the very act of breaking the most important rule of them all, he still has the audacity to gently reprimand cheng xiaoshi for crossing the line. even lu guang isn’t impervious to imperfection.

❝ you want to name her together ? ❞ it’s not a bad idea, certainly a better compromise than lu guang had braced himself to hear from cheng xiaoshi. no, he hasn’t forgotten the names his partner had suggested when elizabeth was first brought home. most of them were bizarre, nonsensical words that couldn’t possibly suit a feline, yet cheng xiaoshi had offered them with so much pride that even lu guang had been momentarily speechless. grenade, ironegg, and a host of other ridiculous options had been thrown out with absolute confidence. lu guang can’t help but feel a pang of offense even now, remembering how his carefully chosen name for elizabeth had been playfully mocked while those absurd suggestions somehow escaped unscathed. at least, he thinks, if a mediator is needed to settle the matter of naming their cat, qiao ling is just a phone call away. in lu guang’s mind, that’s already a win. he’s almost certain she’d veto a name like grenade without hesitation. how often is she roped into their squabbles anyway? too often, most likely. but to her credit, she’s remarkably fair — most of the time. their arguments, however, are never serious. they don’t have the luxury of fighting over things that truly matter, and so these small, inconsequential disagreements will have to do. bickering over muddy footprints on the floor, stolen fries from lu guang’s plate, or even who snores louder feels far more manageable than confronting the weight of real fears — the kind that linger in the shadows of lu guang’s nightmares. 

so, naturally, he’s going to dig his heels in when it comes to naming the cat. not because it’s all that important, but because it’s a chance to see cheng xiaoshi puff his cheeks out, jut his lip in an exaggerated pout, and call him stubborn. there’s a certain comfort in these trivial fights, a reassurance in knowing that even in their imperfection, they can still find humor and warmth in the smallest of moments. it’s not about winning or losing. it’s about what these silly battles represent, a semblance of normalcy amidst a life that offers lu guang so little of it.

 ❝ alright, what is the really cool name you have in mind ? it better not be on par with what you suggested last time. we— you will end up banned from public spaces if you run around calling out for ‘grenade’ , you know ? ❞ 

lu guang’s hands slip into the pockets of his pants as he steps up to join cheng xiaoshi on the sidewalk, instinctively taking the spot closest to the road. it’s more habit than conscious decision — this ingrained instinct to position himself in a way that ensures cheng xiaoshi’s safety. whether it’s shielding him from people with ill intentions or simply preventing a careless misstep that could send him stumbling into traffic, lu guang seems to bear the weight of safeguarding him in every possible way. when they dive, though, it’s different. lu guang can’t physically stand between cheng xiaoshi and danger, can’t step in to block a blow or redirect harm. all he can do is watch — observe through the distant lens of another time, another life — and guide cheng xiaoshi as best he can through the connection they share. even then, most of that connection seems to be filled with cheng xiaoshi’s grumbling about the demands placed on him for the sake of the mission: complaints about backbreaking physical labor, the endless monotony of paperwork, or the mental puzzles that leave him exasperated. yet, lu guang never hesitates to help where he can, and when it comes down to it, he’s always ready to pull cheng xiaoshi back before things go too far. for now, though, the danger feels a world away. their pace falls into a natural rhythm as they navigate the familiar streets together. the shelter is only a couple of blocks ahead, and for once, it seems cheng xiaoshi has done his homework without lu guang's help, finding this shelter and then carefully presenting the idea to lu guang. lu guang notes this silently, the faintest flicker of approval crossing his mind. he might even be impressed, but he decides to keep that to himself — at least for now.

❝ we should order food and toys for her tonight, that way it’ll be delivered by tomorrow. ah, and no cats upstairs. that rule still stands. ❞ there is a pause there, and lu guang grabs a hold of cheng xiaoshi’s rolled up sleeve to pull him closer and out of the way as two strangers pass by on bikes. ❝ that is not a loophole for you to sleep on the couch with the cat. she stays downstairs, you sleep in your bed. ❞

[shybunnie20]

I think I may have already sent this request before but I can’t remember. Sorry if I already did I couldn’t remember. Please take your time and don’t rush yourself I can wait ❤️

Could you please write an Eddie Munson x reader. The reader is Eddie’s girlfriend. Please do angst and fluff.

The reader gets injured (bit) the same way Eleven does in season 3 and same wound except this takes place in season 4 episode 7 where Eddie, Nancy, Steve and Robin are fighting the bats. At the end of the fight one of the tentacles grabs and bites the readers leg and Eddie is the first one to grab onto the reader as she is lifted into the air by her leg the same way Eleven was. Eddie, Steve, Nancy, and Robin are all fighting to get the reader down and finally do but the reader is severely wounded and losing a lot of blood. Eddie carries the reader as they all rush to get to safety as they try to hide in the upside down and just like Eleven they have to cut her leg open to get what’s inside her leg out. Once they do the reader passes out from blood loss and Eddie carries her as they all rush to Eddie’s trailer to get out of the upside down. Once they get the gate open Eddie helps get the reader through the gate as she is still passed out. They are able to get her through the gate and are able to tend to her leg. When the reader wakes up Eddie is sitting right next to her holding her hand and tells reader he thought he lost her. Eddie and the reader comfort each other over the events that just happened and fall asleep cuddling each other.

Silenced Cries Under Cobalt Skies

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

★My Masterlist

Author's Note: Thank you for your patience and for trusting me with your request. This isn't nearly as polished as I'd like it to be but I don't want to keep you waiting. I changed the demobat lore along with other details from Ep 7 to better fit the circumstances. This was my first time writing anything Upside Down related, I hope I did your vision justice!

Established relationship. No use of Y/N. Moderate angst with comfort. Loosely based on events from S3 and S4.

Word count: 5k

Warnings: GORE: descriptions of physical injury (of the reader), heartache, contains profanity.

This isn’t how you planned to spend your Wednesday night. Initially, you were going to pick up an extra shift at the arcade. Instead, you’re perched on the bench of a shabby rowboat with your boyfriend seated beside you.

On the opposite bench, Nancy is sandwiched between Steve and Robin. The three of them are staring fixedly at the compass’s twirling needle. Robin relays the discovery to Dustin and Steve gets to his feet. 

Nancy eyes Steve’s towering frame. “What are you doing?”

The boat bobs with the movement of Steve taking off his shoes, socks, and sweater. “I’m gonna go check it out.” 

You look between him and Nancy with a furrowed brow. “Have you lost your mind? You can’t-” 

“Unless any of you can top being a swim team co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then it’s gotta be me.” He reasons to no one in particular.

Eddie is unbothered and shows no interest in out-doing Steve’s courageousness. “No complaints from me. I do not wanna go down there.” He angles his flashlight over the gunwale but the beam fails to penetrate the onyx-hued water.

His comment is met with a single jab of your elbow into his side. Eddie groans and shoots you a scowl, “Ow, what the hell was that for?” He scans the disapproving glare that’s formed across the features of your face.

With preparative breathing exercises, Steve primes his lungs and observes the murkiness that awaits him. The heat radiating from his unclothed chest clashes with the evening air and it sends a shiver to his core.

“There’s no way you’re gonna be able to see anything.” Eddie wraps the flashlight in a plastic shopping bag that he pulled from his jacket pocket. “It won’t be waterproof but-” He secures it with a tight knot and holds the flashlight out to Steve. “It’ll do.”

“Thanks,” Steve exhales. He pauses before filling his lungs with a half-hearted prayer. “Wish me luck.” With that, he leaps with a pointed form and plunges beneath the surface of the lake. 

Droplets land on your arm and it gives you an idea of how frigid the water is. The four of you sit in utter silence. Unlike them, you’re oblivious to how the boat is rocking from the bouncing of your leg. “He’s taking forever. What if something bad happened?”

Eddie doesn’t dare face you because he knows exactly what kind of look his remark is going to earn him. “It’s been thirty seconds, I’m sure King Steve is just fine. You heard him, he’s a certified lifeguard.” He mockingly emphasizes with hand quotes as if to say “big whoop.”

Eddie is the only one who can’t grasp the gravity of what’s happening right now. He’s unable to wrap his head around what you’ve gone through with your friends over the past two years. He has a general idea because you’ve tried to explain everything to him before, but he couldn’t make sense of it. Dustin attempted to translate the circumstances through the lens of D&D but Eddie couldn’t piece it together.

He spends so much of his free time in fictional worlds that he creates. Each realm is accompanied by sketches of fantastical creatures with a myriad of thorough narratives. Despite seeing the forces at hand with his own eyes, he can’t fathom that this is reality.

Seconds tick by with the lapping waves of Lover’s Lake. It’s nearing two minutes since Steve left. Robin nudges your leg as a silent ask for you to sit still, but It’s difficult to stop fidgeting.

Eddie wraps his arms around you and guides you to his shoulder. He buries his nose in your hair and basks in the familiar scent of your shampoo. “You’re alright.”

You may be okay though he’s doubtful that Steve is. Eddie not only saw Chrissy and Patrick levitate, but he heard their limbs snap like twigs with every contortion. At this rate anything is possible.

In addition to the traumatic shit he’s witnessed, Eddie isn’t exactly in tip-top shape. He hasn’t gotten a good night's rest in days, nor has he had a proper meal. He’s beyond miserable, and yet, he’s prioritizing your needs. He can’t do much given the situation at hand, but Eddie is doing his best to help you feel safe.

Eddie’s supportive words duke it out with your perturbed thoughts. His attempt is insufficient but it calms your nerves a little. Much to your dismay, your heart rate spikes with each bated breath that you take.

Robin remains focused on the navigation device, watching it spin endlessly in reaction to the gate below. Nancy is counting the seconds on her wristwatch. They haven’t spoken since Steve took the dive. The chirping of the crickets and frogs off in the distance fails to saturate the quiet.

Because you’ve been asked not to bounce your leg, you opt for picking at the shredded denim of Eddie’s jeans instead. To distract yourself further, you zero in on the rise and fall of his chest beneath the tattered Hellfire Club tee. Your focus is disrupted by a harsh gasp and splashing.

Upon seeing that Steve is alive, your muscles are freed of tension but your stomach is in knots nonetheless. “Did you find it?”

“Yeah, it’s down there.” Steve pants as his lungs struggle to expand. His tight grip on the ridge of the boat causes it to dip. Nancy slicks back the soaked hair that’s plastered to his forehead and they share a look of unease.

Robin is less worried. “Is it a snack-sized gate?” She chirps curiously.

Steve tries to catch his breath. Beads fall from his hair and trickle down his face. “No, no. It’s pretty damn big.”

A beat passes while everyone digests his findings and it conjures varying images in all of your minds. Suddenly, Steve is tugged down. Though not hard enough to rip his hands from the rim of the boat, it’s enough to spook him. Steve peers over his shoulder and just as his eyes meet yours, he’s abruptly yanked under.

A cacophony of his name sounds off. You and Nancy lean over and look down as if you’d be able to see anything. Robin is appropriately panicked now.

Eddie shouts and points to where Steve disappeared. “What the hell was that, man?!”

Nancy doesn’t hesitate to forgo a discussion and jumps in after him. Robin is close behind, less gracefully but just as hastily. 

Eddie is too busy cussing to realize that you’re taking off your jacket. When he notices, his heart drops. “Woah woah woah, what do you think you’re doing? You’re not going down there.”

“Yes I am, he needs me!” You steady yourself near the ledge. With a deep breath, you mentally prepare for the drastic contrast between the sticky summer air and the cold lake. 

Eddie grabs your hand firmly. “Absolutely not! You’re staying here with me. We don’t even know what we’re messing with!” He attempts to draw you closer but you don’t budge.

You turn to face Eddie and your gaze trails from where your hands are joined until your glassy eyes meet his widened ones. “Whatever it is, it has Steve and it’ll kill him.”

Bewildered is the only way to describe the look on Eddie’s face. He doesn’t care about Steve, he cares about you. Eddie is so fucking exhausted and the tide of adrenaline is wearing him thin.

After everything you and your friends have been through, there’s an inseparable bond and you vowed to fend for them by all means necessary. For the number of times that Steve has saved your life, you owe him this much.

The tremble of Eddie’s grasp is unmistakable. You stroke his fingers with your thumb to comfort him. “Stay here and wait here for me. I love you.” You pack your lungs with as much air as they’ll allow and let go of his hand.

When you leap off of the boat, Eddie reaches to grab you but he doesn’t act fast enough. He paces with short strides to work up the courage to go after you. “God dammit, this is such bullshit!” After pulling an exaggerated inhale through his mouth, he jumps into the lake.

After climbing through the sticky crimson fissure at the bottom of the lake, you manage to recover in good time from holding your breath. You take in the new surroundings but you’re unable to ignore how irritated your eyes are from the mossy water.

Smoke-like fog hangs in the air with such humidity that it’s as though you’re still underwater. The air smells like rotten wood and white ash floats to the ground from the fire in the sky that roars behind the dense clouds. Another crack of blazed lightning strikes mere seconds after the last and is followed by booming thunder. The area is rather desolate, bearing little to dampen the thunder’s ferocity.

The distant echo of struggling gets your attention. Despite being nearly 50 feet away, you bolt to Robin and Nancy’s assistance. You snatch up an oar that you spot by the vine-wrapped boat. Robin stomps on the tail of the demobat that’s strangling Steve. Nancy bludgeons it with all of her might and you swat away the two that are flying overhead with the objective of getting a taste of Steve. 

Your shoulders pop with each swing of the oar. It’s as though the curse words that are tumbling from your lips are fueling you to whack the flesh-eating demons. Nancy and Robin are making equally as much noise with their grunting and shouting.

Meanwhile, Eddie floats above the gate. He’s stunned by the appearance of the glowing portal. He wasn’t sure what to expect but this wasn’t what he’d pictured. Though time is ticking and he doesn’t have long to inspect it because the tightness in his chest is rapidly worsening. He paddles forward and crawls through the gate.

One of the demobats swoops close enough that you’re able to snag it and impale it with the broken end of your oar. In doing so, you slam it to the ground and relish the way it’s squealing and flapping its wings.

Eddie heaves dramatically but in his defense, he can’t recall the last time he went swimming so his lungs are far from used to the pressure.

These creatures are damn hard to kill, but Nancy and Robin finally slay the demobat that had Steve in a chokehold. He stumbles to his knees and releases a heart-rending wheeze. You’re all relieved that Steve is unscathed. He’s beyond grateful to have fearless pals because he’d certainly be bat food by now if you hadn’t come to his rescue.

The environment is momentarily quiet so the four of you pause to catch your breath. The strenuous exertion produces a pang in your side. Just as your breathing is nearly restored, a slimy tail snakes around your throat like a noose. Before you can process it, you’re being hoisted up and slammed back down onto the cracked earth. A shriek escapes you before the tail tautens like a boa constrictor, effectively obstructing your airway. Eddie scrambles to his feet. He sprints faster than he’s ever run in his life.

Your friends’ reactions are delayed compared to Eddie’s due to being caught off guard but he has plenty of ground to cover. Of the three bats circling overhead, one of them descends from the sky and lands beside you. It latches onto your leg by sinking its razor-sharp teeth into the meat of your calf. A scream bubbles from your throat but it has nowhere to go.

With her blood-spattered oar, Nancy stabs at the demobat that’s choking you to death. The tail around your neck won’t let up. You claw at it but your fingernails are no match for the leathery skin. Simultaneously, you’re struggling to shake the other bat off by flailing but to no avail.

Steve grabs ahold of the tail belonging to the bat feasting on your leg. Although he’s far too weak to be of much help, Steve is giving it his all. Robin swings her oar to keep the last remaining creature at bay. Every time it flies closer to get a piece of you, Robin cracks it with the paddle as if she’s batting for a home run.

Your lungs are no longer receiving oxygen and deprivation of it causes black spots to bloom in your vision. It’s occurring to you that this is how you’re going to die. With that realization, the strength to flail and claw leaves your body, causing your limbs to go limp.

Eddie arrives just in time. He snags your abandoned weapon off the ground on his way to you. All of the pent-up fear and suffering from the last few days pours out of him in the form of a battle cry while he impales the head of the bat that has your neck. The demobat’s hellish grip releases and your airway is freed of the compression.

Steve and Nancy successfully detach the other bat from your leg, though it takes a bit of your flesh with it. Robin scans the area to make certain that the coast is clear. Luckily, the sky is free of any winged threats for the time being.

Before today, Eddie thought the idea of slaying monsters was thrilling but he feels differently now that he knows what it’s like.

Everyone surrounds you and Eddie falls to his knees. As he lifts your head, he can feel major swelling in the spot where your skull had hit the ground after being thrown down. “Baby, can you hear me?”

You lay stationary as your body acclimates to the renewed supply of oxygen. Your brain kicks into gear and your eyelids open a sliver. The low-lit environment looks smudged and out of focus. The rings around your throat are pronounced as blood fills the area. Now that you’re conscious, your vision is the first of your five senses to fully return. You see Eddie hovering over you. “Am I okay?” You ask breathily.

“Yeah, you’re okay. You’re gonna be just fine.” He reassures while stroking your cheekbone with his dirtied thumb. Eddie is struggling to catch his breath but he’s far more troubled by the state that you’re in.

“I wanna go home,” You whimper with a wobbly lower lip. You blink away the tears that are pooling at your lash line, afraid of losing sight of Eddie.

His heart cracks in half because he’s always been protective of you. Eddie’s biggest fear has come to fruition. For the duration of your relationship, a specific worry loomed over him. He constantly feared that something bad would happen to you for simply being associated with him and that’s exactly what happened. You got dragged into this mess to defend his name.

Screeching and yapping from behind the clouds indicates that another swarm of demobats is growing near. 

Steve urges, “We gotta get out of here. It’s not safe.” He surmises that the bats are being drawn by the scent of the fresh blood trickling from the punctures in your calf.

Eddie lifts you off of the ground bridal style and frowns at your grimace of pain. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He shifts your position in his arms so that your head rests comfortably against his shoulder.

After trudging through the leafless woods for quite some time, the group collectively agrees that this spot should be out of harm’s way. Eddie gently sets you down and props you up against the trunk of a fallen tree. He remains crouched and cradles your face in his palms. Eddie takes note of the swelling that spans your head and neck. Just as he turns to disclose this to the others, he’s startled by an ear-splitting yelp.

You throw your head back and squeeze your eyes shut. Eddie scans your expression in puzzlement. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

Robin’s voice cracks, “Uh, guys?” She points at your leg.

Eddie peers over his shoulder and his eyes follow Robin’s finger. He failed to notice the damage done by the other demobat when all hell broke loose. He thinks he understands why you’re in so much discomfort until there’s movement beneath your skin. You scream in agony and it’s a noise that none of your friends have ever heard you make.

Eddie loses his balance and falls on his ass. “What the fuck?!” He looks to Steve and Nancy for an answer but they’re speechless. Their stares are locked on the bulge inside of your oozing gash.

A roar of thunder weaves through the bare woods that you find yourselves in the heart of. The invasive crawling causes you to writhe.

Nancy kneels on the other side of you. She inspects your wound with her bottom lip between her teeth. “We have to get it out.”

Steve scoffs, “How exactly are we gonna do that, Nance?”

Eddie reveals a pocket knife. He holds it out and Steve takes it. Steve flicks the blade out to see what he’s working with.

Robin is quick to shut down the proposal. “Nu-uh, no way. This isn’t Operation, you can’t dig that thing out of her!”

“We don’t have any other options.” Nancy looks at Robin and then at you. “It can’t stay in there.”

Robin turns her back to the amateur surgery that’s about to unfold. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Both of Eddie’s hands caress your feverish cheeks. “Alright, sweetheart. I need you to sit still.”

“No-” you sob and fist at the material of your saturated shirt. “I can’t do it.”

While tracing the curvature of your jaw with the pad of his thumb, Eddie’s eyes look back and forth between yours. “We’ll get it out as quickly as we can. It’ll be over before you know it.” The sweetest sadness is swimming in your eyes and it makes his stomach churn. You’re so beautiful even when you’re shaking like a leaf.

“But I’m scared.” Your admission is laced with a quaking whine and your eyes have turned into puddles.

Eddie takes your hand and he interlocks his fingers with yours. “I know, baby. You gotta be my brave girl. I need you to do that for me.” With his free hand, he takes the skull handkerchief from his back pocket and folds it multiple times. Eddie taps on your chin, “Open, please.”

After hesitantly eyeing the cloth, you comply and open your mouth. “Bite down,” Eddie instructs and situates it between your teeth when you do so. Your mewl of protest is deadened.

“You’ve got this.” He kisses your forehead and strokes your hair with both hands. To block your line of sight, Eddie leans forward and tilts your head so you have nowhere else to look except at him. “Keep your eyes on me.”

The stillness of the creature is making Nancy and Steve nervous. She nudges Steve with her shoulder. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

Steve clears his throat and adjusts the small knife in his unsteady grip. He takes two incredibly deep breaths and mutters, “Here goes nothing.” Steve presses the tip of the blade into the raw and inflamed skin.

Your wailing is effectively muffled by the handkerchief and it saves your tongue from being bitten off. You reflexively try to yank your leg away but Nancy holds it securely in place. Blood starts to drip faster as Steve sinks the blade deeper, aiming for the subtle squirming.

The deeper he goes, the more difficult it becomes for you to sit still. Your shoulders fly forward but Eddie guides you to lay back. His hand is starting to tingle from how hard you’re squeezing it. Your brain is so overwhelmed by the misery that you don’t taste the lake water on the hankie.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve says under his breath. He’s fighting the urge to look away from the blood staining his hand.

All of the moaning and bawling drowns out the ravenous screeching coming from afar. Eddie is trying to remain calm but his voice wavers. “He’s almost done. Just a little longer, sweetheart.”

You’re praying to god that this is nearly over, you're not sure how much more you can take. Your pupils disappear behind your eyelids as the hot tears roll down your cheeks and settle coldly in your ears. The portion of the handkerchief that’s hanging out of your mouth catches the transparent stream running from your nose.

The tip of the knife hits an incredibly sore spot and you scream through the tears. Adrenaline is doing nothing to stunt the pain. Your teeth could shatter from how hard you’re biting down on the wad of material. Eddie’s heart is shattering with every sound you make but he’s doing his best to soothe you.

Nancy is having a tough time keeping your leg in place and her grip is borderline bruising. Steve is on the verge of giving up but he spots a black tail and promptly rips it out. The squealing creature is flung aside. As soon as it hits the ground, Robin stomps it to death.

Steve tosses the knife and applies pressure to your calf with two hands. “Shit! Nance, a little help here?”

Your elevated heart rate is causing blood to gush out of your profoundly opened wound. Nancy tears off the bottom of her sweater and ties it tightly around your leg as a makeshift bandage.

Eddie pets your hair with one hand and removes the handkerchief from your mouth with the other. “You did amazing,” Eddie’s voice is broken because he’s close to tears from watching you go through all of this. “You were so strong for me, princess. Thank you.”

An excruciating ache pierces your jaw but it pales in comparison to the rest of your body. Your friends’ voices liquefy and sound as if they’re calling to you from the end of a tunnel. 

Nancy applies firm pressure to your leg while Steve is preoccupied with talking Robin out of her rabies meltdown. 

The air is so muggy that it’s causing you to sweat. Your body is swarmed with shuddering from the wet clothes clinging to your skin as well as from the major blood loss. Suddenly, you feel drowsy. “Is it bad?” You crane your neck to look down at your leg but your vision has gone blurry.

Eddie guides your gaze back to his face. He doesn’t want you to know how bad of shape you’re in. “You’re not bleeding that much-” He glances over his shoulder and holds his breath from seeing the concerning amount of blood you’ve lost.

The cream-colored knit is now scarlet and the blood is transferring to Nancy’s hands. You’re unable to form another sentence due to consciousness slipping through your fingertips. You can sense Eddie’s touch but it feels the way a whisper sounds. Unable to fight the weariness any longer, your eyelids droop and your chin drops to your clavicle.

“Hey- stay with me.” Eddie taps your cheek three times. “Don’t fall asleep! C’mon, talk to me.”

Your lashes flutter once but you can’t keep your eyes open or hold your head up. The reply he receives from you is nothing more than unintelligible mumbling.

“We’re leaving right now,” Eddie announces while scooping you into his arms again. He kisses your forehead and speaks with his lips against your skin. “I’m taking you home, baby.”

Ten minutes have passed since taking off in the direction of the trailer park. You’re wading in and out of consciousness. Ruby rivulets continue to trickle down the curvature of your leg, over your ankle, and soak into your socks.

Eddie’s arms begin to quiver and his back muscles feel strained from carrying you. His loud panting is getting under everyone’s skin. 

Steve catches Eddie repeatedly adjusting you in his arms. “Dude, I can carry her if you’re getting tired.”

“No! I can do it.” There’s no chance that Eddie is going to jeopardize your safety by passing you to Steve. He’s going to tough it out because he can’t risk anything else happening to you.

Eddie’s clothes are drenched. The coarse wet denim vest rubs against the side of your face. His panting increases as he treks onward, though he tries to suppress it so that he can monitor your breathing.

Once you’ve all made it through the gate where Chrissy died, Eddie brings you to his bedroom. When he goes to lay you on his bed, his arms are so spent that they nearly give out.

Nancy and Robin guard the gaping hole in the ceiling by the front door. Eddie and Steve are standing in the hall just outside of the bedroom, but Eddie stays near the doorway so that he can keep an eye on you.

Steve sighs, “We need to get her to the hospital.”

Eddie shakes his head in disapproval. Not only is he being selfish but it’s extremely risky to deny you access to the medical attention that your injury requires. But after everything that’s happened, Eddie isn’t going to leave your side no matter what.

Steve rubs his forehead. “She’s in tough shape, she needs-”

“No! Are you crazy? I can’t go out there.” Eddie glances to check if you’ve woken but you haven’t moved nor made a peep.

“I’m not talking about you. I’ll take her and you can stay-”

“I said no, Steve!“ Eddie runs a hand through his curls. “I won’t let her out of my sight again, I could lose her.”

Eddie is distraught over what may no longer be. You had plans. You were going to turn the back of Eddie’s van into a liveable space and take a road trip you’ve both spent the past year saving up for.

He never mentioned it, but Eddie secretly daydreams of a youngster or two with his hair and your eyes running around the trailer. He’s never been someone who’s particularly fond of kids but the way that you love him makes him feel open to the idea. He’s thought about it enough that he knows what Star Wars or Lord of the Rings names he’d give them.

But if you don’t want children, that’s okay with him. All he wants is to be with you for as long as you’ll allow. The first day he saw you, that was it. You were the one he wanted until the very end and that hasn’t changed.

Steve sympathizes with Eddie’s apprehension. He crosses his arms and nods. “I’ll take a shot at patching her up. I learned a thing or two about first aid when I was a boy scout.”

Eddie is reluctant. He doesn’t want to trust anyone else with taking care of you but he has no clue how to help you himself. Your leg can’t be left as is. Because of this, Eddie agrees.

During the time that Steve spends rummaging through the bathroom and kitchen for supplies, Eddie struggles with your uncooperative limbs while he changes you out of your soggy clothes into dry ones. At the same time, he inspects you for other damage and he’s relieved that there’s nothing other than bruising and swelling.

You’re situated in the middle of his king-sized bed with your head resting on the pillows. Like a princess waiting to be awoken by true love’s kiss, your arms are positioned across your abdomen.

Eddie paces next to the bed, his patience is wearing thin.

“Okay, I think I found everything I need,” Steve says while double-checking the items.

Eddie stops in his tracks and examines everything that’s tucked under Steve’s arm. “Remind me why I’m trusting you to do this?”

Steve scoffs and uncaps the rubbing alcohol to sterilize the sewing needle. “Because to my knowledge, the most suturing you’ve ever done is putting weird patches on that vest. Relax, I know what I’m doing.” Under his breath, Steve adds, “I think.”

“Wow, you were a lifeguard, a boy scout, and captain of the swim team. What, were you a firefighter too? Or a secret agent?” Eddie cocks his head and crosses his arms. “You’re certainly not a one-trick pony.”

Already seated beside you, Steve rolls his eyes and threads the needle. Eddie sits on the other side and begins removing the tightly bound strip of Nancy’s sweater. He then places his hand on your thigh and rubs soothing shapes on your exposed skin. Even though you’re not awake, Eddie wants to comfort you regardless.

It’s impossible to not be nervous but Steve steadies his hand to the best of his ability. He works diligently and finishes by covering the area with an elastic bandage. Steve receives a look of appreciation from Eddie and he gives him a nod that translates to “don’t mention it.”

Steve has since left the room to give Eddie some privacy with you. Eddie gives a sponge bath to wash the sweat, lake water, and remnants of the Upside Down off of your skin. When he decides that you’re adequately clean, he lays down and watches over you. The past few days have been nothing short of a shit show and it feels incredible to finally be with you again. Feeling somewhat at peace for the first time in what seems like forever, Eddie drifts asleep.

It’s not long before you rouse. You’re immediately aware of the soreness racking your body. The rumble in your throat begins as a groan but swiftly turns into sobbing. The sound immediately alerts Eddie and he’s prepared to soothe you. “I know it hurts, I know. Breathe, baby. Deep breaths.” He takes you into his arms and you curl up to his chest.

You try to follow his guidance to breathe slowly but pain shoots through every inch of you with each expanse of your chest. Undoubtedly, your ribs are bruised from being thrown to the ground by the demobat. ���I don’t feel good," You whine.

Eddie wipes away your tears although he’s crying too. ”Get some rest, sweetheart. You’re safe now. I’ll never let anything happen to you again, I promise.”

Reblogs are greatly appreciated! ♡

★My Masterlist

★Ko-fi ♡

tags: @nj01 @tlclick73

[terrence-silver]

Do you have any headcanons on Gus Travis? I've just watched Black Point and I think I'm in love 💖

Him?

― Gus Travis has a major problem with jealousy. Why? Because outside of having a natural propensity for doubt (maybe due to the nature of his job, being a career criminal where you have to watch your back, against everyone, at all times) his wife betrayed him in the past and ran off with another man covertly acting as an informant and Gus' boss' money. Almost sounds like the typical entanglement in the life of someone on the wrong side of law enforcement hiding out in a small port town on the borders of Alaska and Washington state, but the event left Gus reeling, even less trusting and somehow, even more territorial and fidgety when it comes to love as a mere concept. In short notes, Gus Travis is as jaded as can be.

― Which means, despite seeming like the type who has had his share of easy sex, easy cash, easy profit, murky jobs, shady deals, Gus doesn't fall in love easily. Not before the event and certainly not after. He's a rough man, with a rough exterior, rough manners, a rough job and initially, he doesn't seem like the type to care for such things at all, but the opposite is very much true because internally, he's someone who tends to fall and fall hard which has left him messed up in the past. In his words, I treated her like a princess and gave her the world and this is how she repays me? He doesn't want that happening again and so, when he meets you, his first instinct is to be standoffish and stay away from you. Better yet, warn you to say away from him.

― Might have the typical gangbanger 'Do you know who I am?' or 'Do you know who you're dealing with?' vibe about him purely to push you away, even though he's quite as likely to contradict himself and be the one pursuing you. Gus overflows with clashing emotions where he isn't certain if he'd rather scare you away or lay his claim on you and make you his. Maybe just visit some nearby, shady portside pub and get himself someone who looks just like you; a whore, a hooker, a one night stand, anything, and get you out of his system through fucking someone else, not that that helps one bit at all and everyone either looks too much like you or not at all and he always comes back to craving the real deal, and he hasn't...well, he hasn't even laid a finger on you yet.

― Thing is, as I said above, Gus loves deeply. A surprising amount for someone who could only be labeled a bad boy and something of a thug in the most classical sense. The type of love that has him tattooing your name somewhere on his body --- maybe next to his heart, perhaps way before you even know it...or him --- wearing maching clothes, wearing matching rings and bracelets and necklaces. Where he dreams of buying a boat one day, sailing out with a bunch of cash, and naming it after you, as his muse, his lucky north, his compass. Where he sees you as his near overromanticized mythical being. His mermaid. His selkie. His siren. Interesting how someone otherwise so bitter and disappointed with love also has the amazing capacity of being borderline poetically idealistic.

― Of course, the nature of his career criminal leanings and rough and tough sailor and streetwise lifestyle might not exactly allow for him to express his idealistic side outright because there's a reputation to maintain and part of him doesn't want to. And yet, he still desperately does to the point his cravings are making him volatile. He fears being a fool in love again. He fears his men viewing him as a fool in love too. So, he might come off a bit hostile and passive aggressive; like someone who has a general distaste for you, which is far from true, his behaviour ranging anywhere from acosting you in public or god forbid, anyone you might be out on a date with, because he's fatally jealous. Gus can't handle himself or the gravitas of his feelings around you and he protects himself through what he feels is nessecary. Through being a bit of a bastard.

― It doesn't remain unnoticed though; just how much attention Gus Travis is giving you, even if this attention is masked through the guise of negative social interactions. It all becomes suspicious, though. The sheer quantity and volume of it. Him stalking you, catcalling you from his car, threatening to goddamn near shoot anyone else who dares, honking his horn at you, bullying you one minute and then flirting the next, harassing your friends and suitors out in bars or restaurants, having them scared away from you or outright beat up so they'd be afraid to stay in touch with you, being pushy, intrusive, threatening and petulant, having his men follow you around covertly and report back to him on your daily whereabouts, offering to lend you money so you'd be indebted to him, breaking into your place, kidnapping attempts. You name it!

― Ultimately, you will be his, and his grip on you will be tighter than any relationship he ever had before because he dreads losing you like he's lost meanigful people in the past and it has his possessive tendencies flaring up dramatically; he will correct the mistakes he made before you came along, he swears it. Realistically, he is difficult. Very difficult. He is difficult because he overcompensates. Overcalculates. Over-worries. He questions every interaction, every glance, ever action, imaginary or real, towards someone else from you or from you to someone else because the dread of you being whisked away from under him is acute, and so, most people never even discover Gus Travis even has anyone serious as you're his most fiercely guarded treasure. Hell, not even most of his men and crooks know. And if nobody knows you exist and you're merely abducted one day --- missing posters riddling your home town, only for you never to be found again, then nobody can coax you away from him in the future.

[ratsoh-writes]

Their types!

Sans: he likes gentle and intelligent people. Someone he can trust and be comfortable with, and one who’s clever enough to follow him when he’s talking about what he loves. Bonus points for people with good senses of humor!

Papyrus: he needs someone with passion! Someone who can enjoy life with him! Doesn’t matter what they’re passionate about, papyrus just loves seeing the sparkle in their eyes. Someone with good morals is a must too. Papyrus needs someone who can match him there

Star: he wants someone with a drive to improve in life and a touch of adventure! High energy people are preferred cause he can be a bit much for a partner who struggles to keep up with him. Star just wants someone he can call an equal, who can match him in positivity and drive

Honey: he’s attracted to responsibility. Well put together people and organized people catch his eye the easiest. He does tend to lean more towards outgoing and confident personalities but can fall just as easily for the shy types if he gets a glimpse of that responsibility he looks for. Bonus points for being good with kids

Red: he likes gentle and silly people. Someone who’s kind and soft but can also joke around. Don’t mistake kindness for being a doormat, they still need to be able to correct red if he’s being a butthead lol

Edge: he likes them soft and a bit innocent. Edge wants to be the knight in shining armor and so he needs a SO who’s willing to let him be a bit protective. Really affectionate people catch his attention fastest.

Mal: he loves sass, fiery tempers and lots of passion. Mal loves a good argument, it gets him going like nothing else. Of course nothing actually mean. It’s all in good fun, so someone who has a thick skin is perfect for him

Cash: he loves a good girl/boy. Someone with a strong moral compass. Someone who will help him be a better person, make him want to be. And a good sense of humor is a must for him.

Oak: he just wants someone who will take him seriously, who won’t treat him like he’s invalid or like a child. Oak knows his limits.

Willow: he wants someone he can care for and fuss over, but he needs someone who will do the same for him. Willow does great with someone’s who’s main love language is acts of service.

Charm: patience. That’s the biggest quality his partner has to have because charm will be the slowest of burns when it comes to actual commitment.

Sugar: with Winnie in the picture now, sugar is much more selective in who he dates. He has to think of his daughter first. So only someone who likes kids of course, but also someone who is kind and honest and open with him.

Lord: he’s attracted to strength and success. It comes from a desire to be protected. Any partner of lords would have to have a fair bit of patience though, and a gentle side. He’s a skittish guy and needs someone who is willing to wait for him to come out of his shell

Mutt: you have no idea what attracts him to you. Mutt has no type. Just “not a murderer” or “my brother doesn’t hate them” as requirements. Unfortunately this doesn’t mean mutt is easy to get close to. Nobody knows what makes him decide to like someone either

Wine: he likes someone who’s intelligent enough to be good conversation, but either naive enough to not notice his shady side, or just plain doesn’t care. He does have a soft spot for shy people. He likes to fluster them

Coffee: he’s only attracted to those he has a close friendship with, so getting with coffee is a real slow burn. He has no preference for personality but it helps liking some of the same things as him

Pop: he just wants someone he can be himself with. Pop is a weirdo and he knows it, so somebody nonjudgmental is key. Preferably someone a little goofy too

Rhythm: he loves a daring brave type of person. Someone who can sweep him off his feet. Adventurous interesting people catch his attention the easiest. Rhythm loves a good story

Pluto: he needs someone who will take him seriously, who won’t baby him. Pluto may be shy, adorable and cuddly, but he’s also a super genius and he really wants to be treated like the independent adult he is.

Jupiter: he loves a bit of sass in his partner, someone who will tell him off if he’s being dumb, which is pretty often lol. Jupiter is attracted to the strong independent type

G: he loves his lovers bossy and domineering lol. But also rather raunchy too. Someone with the good humor to mess around with him but also someone with the confidence and audacity to keep him humble lol

Green: he likes respect and gentlemanly manners in a SO. Someone who can match his class. But green has a secret bad side. Someone who’s adventurous is also appreciated

Peaches: he wants a family guy/gal. Someone who wants to settle and have a large family with him. Someone who loves the country is a must, and sweet and affectionate personalities are preferred, but he’s also crushed on more serious people before too

Rancher: he loves having the best of both words. Someone adventurous and a bit mischievous but also someone who can settle and is a hard worker. Rancher needs a person serious enough to be good for the long haul, but spicy enough to compliment when he’s feeling a bit crazy lol

Snipe: patience, brains, patience, a thick skin, patience loyalty and did I mention patience? Snipe is a paranoid guy and needs someone who won’t be run off by his need for reassurance

Bruiser: he needs a partner who’s tough enough to keep up with him but who lets him be free. Bruiser is a secretive kind of guy, so he needs someone who’d respect his privacy. Bruiser won’t hide anything dangerous from a long term partner, but even his soulmate he’d have a few secrets from.

Ace: he needs someone forgiving and a good communicator. Ace doesn’t think like other people do, but if he ever fell for someone he’d definitely try. So somebody with the patience to spell out their feelings is perfect for him

Slim: he likes someone he can be comfortable around. So safe and easy going people. And slim does prefer people he shares interests with. He can fall for shy ones but he crushes on sassy people faster

Butch: bold, passionate and affectionate is exactly what butch wants and needs. Someone who won’t let him walk all over them but will match his affections

Boss: he prefers a practical partner, someone who’s respectful and has a good head on their shoulders. Basically the opposite of his family lol. He needs an ally in his world of craziness. But he’s not all serious, someone who will entertain boss silly side is perfect

Rust: since the famine, rust has realized he has a strong desire for a family, so someone who’s open to children is a must. He likes affectionate and honest partners best, but prefers more relaxed personalities over wild hyper types most of the time

Noir: he’s a grump and has given up on his old dream of being the night in shining armor, but that doesn’t change his taste for softies. Noir likes cheerful bubbly and soft people best. His opposite basically

Lilac: he wants someone who won’t ever baby him or fuss over him. Lilac is a proud monster and hates any feeling of being trapped or smothered. He needs a partner who gives him his space while being a close companion

Basil: he just wants a little kindness in his life. Someone cuddly and sweet with him. Basil craves affection and stability in his partners

Gears: he’s a little diva and it shows in his taste in partners. Gears likes affectionate and generous people who will shower him in love and attention. Don’t worry cause gears gives just as much as his partner puts in a relationship!

Compass: he likes curious and adventurous people. Compass has a quiet protective nature, but also a sense of wonder. So someone who can be his travel companion is perfect. As long as they sometimes let him fuss over them.

Lush: he loves a humble and loyal partner. Lush is a spoiler and plenty have taken advantage of his wealth before. Someone who doesn’t take him for granted will have a loyal lover for life

Pepper: he’s a classy diva and likes a partner who’s good with their words and takes care of themself. But also someone who’s genuine with pepper, who likes him for his personality, not his earth and looks

Sparks: passion. That’s all he wants in a partner. Someone who just loves him as deeply as he loves them. And preferably someone who treats him good too but he doesn’t have the best track record for that bit. Luckily his friends have his back

Salt: he likes them sweet and awkward, bonus points for shy ones. Salt loves bringing them out of their shells and seeing the results.

Orion: he loves playful and adventurous people! Someone he can fun with. Orion hates being bored so needs a partner who’s always up to try something new

Atlas: he wants a bad boy/girl. He wants someone exciting, that will make him feel wild and attractive. Confidence is key for gaining atlas

Cider: he wants someone loyal who will integrate well into his family, so an adaptable personality is great to. And he definitely prefers more social extroverted people

Barley: he wants someone who will put him and their dreams first, social norms be damned. Barley wants a rebel, someone who will scandalize his family with him lol

Ram: ram is tired of the fight and just wants someone calm to settle down with. And someone who is willing to be the brains of his life. He’ll happily be the brawn, he knows how to play to his strengths. He likes nonjudgmental people who don’t look down on him for being less well read

Pitch: he kinda hates people so getting close to him takes time and a willingness to be quiet lol. Pitch likes intelligent and relaxed people. Someone who will give him the space he needs. But once you have his affection, you get a thoughtful and loyal partner

Moose: after loosing his first one, moose longs for a family again. He wants someone to settle with but wants to take it slow. Moose likes bubbly people with a bit of bite to them, and a protective streak

Maple: he prizes honesty and bluntness cause he’s oblivious as hell and needs that lol. Also someone who will be goofy with him. Maple just wants a bestie he sometimes kisses

Fisher: he likes his partners artsy and shy. Fisher likes people who are easily flustered and enjoys messing with them. But he also likes how small they seem. It makes him want to shower them in affection. He’s a caring soul

Jasper: he wants adventure and loyalty! Someone who will stick to his side wherever he goes. Jasper is social so an extroverted partner is best, but he can work with a more interpreters person too.

Finn: he’s spent his whole life sacrificing for others, it’s time someone takes care of him for a change. Finn is kind and will give anyone a chance, but he’d be truly happy with a partner who spoiled him like he deserves, and someone who sticks up for him. Finn is incredibly generous and would give his partner the world if he could

Sails: he loves them bossy and grumpy lol. Something about it really gets him going, but a small part of sails also knows he kinda needs that in his life. He’s been spoiled too much by his bro and he craves authority

Hook: he only crushes on sweethearts. Innocent kind and soft. And hook falls real easily. Bonus points for artists. Unfortunately having a job that has him living on the sea most of his life makes dating tricky. So his partner would either have to be ok with a somewhat long distance relationship, or join him on the ship

Captain: he wants an equal in almost every way. Captain prizes strength and intelligence, so his SO has to be impressive in at least one of those categories. Someone with a sharp tongue will catch his eye easier than more laid back people too

Quill: he likes loud and outgoing partners. Which is funny since he’s a huge shy introvert. He likes them because they take the spotlight off himself. He can ease back into the background and just be his partners happy support

Crow: he loves divas. Crow wants someone to spoil rotten. And he can’t help but find vanity endearing lol. As long as they treat him kindly in return he’s happy

Lens: he wants someone who will be honest with him, who won’t sugarcoat his faults. But also someone who will be kind with him. Lens gravitates towards more positive people. Having them in his life helps make his hard days a little less dark

Cricket: he values strength, honesty and someone with a good sense of humor or thick skin. You need it to be with cricket. He’s temperamental and isn’t the monster for people who take things too seriously. But if you stay loyal, you’ll have a partner for life

Tempo: he’s happy in his own little world so it’s tricky getting tempos attention. He loves art and music, so he’s attracted to someone who’s talented in one of those. Or someone who’s a huge fan of them. Tempo is strictly asexual, so he’s not good for a partner who wants anything more than a cuddle. And hes really open about that

Vibrato: he’s a bit naive and just too trusting, so vibrato needs a protector. And he does like that. He’s hoping to find his own knight in shining armor someday. Vibrato likes classy and bubbly people. Someone with a lot of cheer but dignity too.

[shimmerbeasts]

Their relationship had always been complicated. A web, born out of youthful ignorance, childish fears and insecurities, the very drug, which they were currently fighting over, and the rushing of longing hearts. As a child, Powder had been too insecure and ignorant to understand her emotions and feelings for Ekko. Vi back then had diminished them into nothing but a childhood crush, while at the same time, claiming that Powder was too young to understand what that word meant.

However, Powder even back then had been far from stupid. While she did not completely understand the game the adults played, she understood that Barbette, that wrinkly, old Yordle with too much make-up on her orange skin, catered to this very same game. Just as Powder had also realised that for some reason, she had found both boys and girls pretty. Though that couldn't work, right? You only liked boys or girls. You could not love both, right? Powder had believed that because Mylo had believed it and by being older, Mylo must be right.

Nowadays, of course, Jinx knew better. You could love boys and girls. There was nothing wrong with that. Sevika and Silco loved the same way. They had told her. Thus Jinx was certain that she loved Ekko almost as much as she hated him. He had suffered just as much as she did and yet he was thriving. That couldn't be right. Jinx had seen how Ekko had tried to awaken his own monster back when he had still been on the streets. It had been a pitiful attempt and his body bore the marks of it: Discoloured, purple veins and the curse of an everlasting hunger. He hadn't dared to commit to his choice. His beast would punish him for such a lacklustre decision.

Jinx had been determined to save him from his own decision. If he could not tend to his monster in the right way, if he could not let it grow strong and terrifying, even with Shimmer being right there, then Jinx had to help him! Jinx had to awaken Ekko's monster in the same vein Silco had done for her. And she was going to use the exact same method: By turning Ekko into a hound. Hounding was a sign of love. Jinx loved Ekko. Loved him with a similar intensity, she loved Silco and Vi, and she was going to make him realise that! He was going to be a beast just like her and he would find it just as liberating!

Jinx's face bore no compassion, even as Ekko pleaded for the safety of the remaining bugs. Her nostrils flared and she gave a growl, almost a huff. She had not come here to show mercy to vermin! She had come here to watch her beloved wolver hunt. He had not been hunting for almost a month, so no doubt, his beast was clawing at his innards. Time to relieve him of his pain.

Jinx spoke: "On the contrary, Ekko: They have everything to do with this! They are sabotaging Silco's work. They are sabotaging the Cause. All because they are trusting the so-called Boy Saviour." She clapped as she spoke his title. "You must feel like such a martyr when your lost boys and girls gave you that title! Makes me wonder: How are they going to feel if they could ever look beyond the mask of the wise owl, you are projecting outwards?"

She laughed as Ekko's more animalistic side came forth through the growl in his mask. Her head swayed around, bang flopping and braids swinging. She called: "Oh, you are a class act, Boy Saviour! The lost boys and girls ain't your family. They are a pack of cubs, being led by a yearling." Jinx clicked her tongue and warningly wagged a finger. "I told you never to lie to me, Ekko. I am pretty sure if I were to remove your mask, you would be dripping drool."

The whistle had been enough to have Ekko look at the mask, Jinx herself had brought with her. Every Hound needed its own little cues and tricks to properly be unleashed and Shimmer was a vital component in this. Jinx tapped a fingernail upon the top of the mask like the rhythmic falling of a sledgehammer. She said nothing, merely waiting for her friend to come closer. As Ekko stopped before her, hands twitching as if he wanted to reach for the very mask, which would spell his group's doom, Jinx looked up and met his gaze behind the protection of his owl mask.

Jinx didn't answer his question and instead reached around the back of his head to unclasp his owl mask. No matter how complex Ekko's mask was, Jinx was just as inventive and could open it with the push of a button. Letting the air vent out, the Loose Canon hooked her fingers underneath the mask and flipped it off Ekko's head. Dumping it on the ground a bit out of reach, she smiled and took Ekko's face in her hands in a tender gesture similar to how a lover might.

"There is my wolver", Jinx said as she inspected the worn-out man before her with darkened veins so very pronounced against brown skin, "You poor, poor boy. Look at how rough you've had it the last couple of weeks. There, there! I am here now and we can get you nice and fed, Ekko."

With these words, Jinx suddenly sunk her hand deep into Ekko's pale yellow dreadlocks to keep his head still. Her other hand shoved the mask against his face, forcing it over his mouth and nose. She tutted softly as she clasped the ends together, securing the mask so that Ekko would now be forced to inhale Hound Shimmer. The most potent variety of Shimmer and something most addicts could only dream of.

Ekko had hoped and prayed that it was just an illusion. That he mind had simply conjured up an image of Jinx. Maybe it was his PTSD after being hounded making him believe she was there for a split second. That was the thing about hope, sometimes it paid off to have it. All the same, it could be squashed a single moment. Or rather a few choice words.

The Firelight didn't wonder if this had been planned, if Jinx knew this was going to happen. There had to be a reason why she was here in the first place. This, he realized, had all been a set up. Why he remembered being leashed by Jinx those few days but not remembering details. And yet all of those thoughts faded away as he heard that familiar whistled tune. How it caused more panic.

The same tune stirred something inside of him, luring out the monster that she planted there. He fought to suppress it, to not let the melody draw him in but it was impossible. The hound in him was already taking over, forcing his focus to shift entirely on Jinx. In this state he had no idea the looks he was getting. How his fellow Firelights were piecing things together with no context.

He was suddenly glad that he hadn't brought many here. Glad that Scar was home and safe from what would happen now. The few that had come with him today wouldn't share that luck. When got some semblance of his mind back, however brief, Ekko tried to plea. "They don't have anything to do with this, Jinx..."

A few of them were stiffer now, and he could feel as if they were doubting him. None of this had been his design, this had been forced on him by Jinx. She made him a monster and they were going to pay for it and all he could do is issue a silent apology that would mean very little. For very soon he wouldn't have any control at all.

"Please don't make me do this, Jinx. They are my family, just like you are. I don't want to kill them. I won't." Ekko couldn't hold back the feral growl that came out, heavily distorted in sound from his owl mask. "I'm not hungry."

That was a lie because he was absolutely starving. It has been a few weeks, almost approaching a month since the last hunt he was forced to do. As a result his hound was practically clawing him from the inside out for something to fill them up. It was only being made worse once she began whistling the melody again.

Eyes locked onto the mask she held in her hands. Noting the cylinder filled with shimmer, that mask called out the addiction that lingered over him like a plague. He understood what that mask was for, and induced a new state of panic in him. This was the mask that she used when it was time to let the monster out. The leader found himself moving closer to Jinx and the mask in her hands. Wanting to reach out for it, and yet wanting nothing at all to do with it. He found himself grateful that his comrades couldn't see his reaction behind his owl mask.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Ekko's voice was hoarse now, strained as he forced him to stop to maintain some distance. There were words he wanted to say and yet he couldn't get them to come out, but he thought them clear as day. None of this had been his choice. "I can't wear it , I won't...."

[maria-rayro]

extra for extraordinary?

Hector sighs as he sits down next to Charles, shaking his head as he begins to tend to his wound. "My compassion for you is inconvenient, Charlie" he says, calmly looking at the man. Lonnit whimpers in pain, looking at him with broken eyes. Hector smiles faintly, glancing at Charles. "The only thing that comforts me is that you feel the same way about me."

Lonnit tries to shake his head. Munday looks at him with love in his eyes. "There's no point in denying what's going on inside you. You can't fight it. Trust me, I tried. I tried really hard" he reaches out and gently touches his cheek, stroking it.

Charles whimpers. "No, no… no," he shakes his head, tears streaming down his face. Hector watches this almost sympathetically. "I'm not you… I'm not going to be like you… I'd never…"

Hector purses his lips. His shoulders sag as he sighs heavily, removing his hand from the young man's face. "No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. Through that love, we allow our beloved see their potential. Expressing this love, our beloved's potential comes true" he says, placing his hand on Charlie's chest, looking intently into his eyes. "I love you, Charlie. And this is how I express my love to you".

Charlie is shaking in pain and tears. "You're not letting me live because you love me, you're letting me live because you think I'll be just like you," he whispers, barely able to force himself to speak, barely conscious at all. "Because you think I'm just like you… why?"

Hector tilts his head to the side, staring intimately into Lonnit's bright eyes. "Because you were able to fall in love with me. Because I see that you still love me. Even after you saw my real face" he smiles. "Don't feel bad about it. We cannot control with respect to whom we fall in love".

"You will leave me. I will forget about you."

Hector smiles calmly. "You won't. I won't. I will always remember you, my love" he looks at Charlie's blood on his hand. "After all... how can I forget about someone so… extraordinary?"

[transmalewife]

Alright, let's talk about attachment

I can’t find clear information on when exactly the non-attachment rule was added to the code. It was either soon before or soon after the great sith war. Either way, for the VAST majority of the existence of the Jedi, it wasn’t a thing. Jedi got married and had families for over 20000 years, then added the non-attachment rule, which ultimately led to their destruction. And before anyone tries to tell me I believe they deserved to be genocided, I don’t. I have never actually seen anyone say that, but I see people argue against it constantly, and imply anyone who doesn’t think the Jedi were perfect and blameless thinks that. I don’t think they deserved to die, I think they needed to change. And Yoda says that himself, many times. The Jedi weren’t prepared for the return of the sith, or the war. They had separated from the military 1000 years before, and the galaxy was in relative peace all this time, so the order’s role changed to one that worked very well with their rules. Detachment meant they could be impartial when overseeing political disagreements, lack of possessions meant they would be focused on the mission at hand and not prone to taking bribes, and distancing themselves from the general population meant they were more or less uniform, and could be trusted not to side with someone for personal reasons.

All of this falls apart once they become an army again. Impartiality is a flaw when they have to defend one side at all cost and not even allow themselves to consider compromise. Lack of possessions and attachment to people means they are prone to taking unnecessary risks, because they have nothing to lose, and do things like send 14 year olds into battle, thinking of the “greater good” over the safety of children. And the order being a monolith, with set rules and philosophy distinct from the rest of the population meant the Jedi trusted Dooku long after they should have stopped, because he used to be a Jedi after all, surely he still follows the code.

Now, I am not saying non-attachment is always bad, I think it served a very specific purpose in the order, and to some extent worked for many years. However.

Humans are a social species. Human babies NEED physical contact and affection to develop physically. Children need a stable, strong, and supportive relationship to their caregiver to properly develop psychologically. And after last year I don’t think anyone will argue that adults don't need connection with other people just as much. And not just shallow interactions, but open affection and love. Love of any kind, because claiming that the Jedi only forbid romantic love is just untrue. I think people tend to forget that "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love." isn’t the actual doctrine, it’s a literal pick up line that Anakin uses on Padme.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan both get criticized by other Jedi for their entirely platonic attachment to Anakin, and vice versa. Now, humans are the most common species in the galaxy, and in the Jedi order. Many other species are near-human, so it’s safe to assume at least some, if not most of them also need that companionship and affection to develop and live happy and stable lives. I do believe that non-attachment is a valid philosophy and chosen path in life if done carefully and within reason, I just don’t think we have a single major character that actually applies to. And chosen is an important word here. Jedi don’t get much of a choice. I’m not trying to start the baby-stealing debate here. I hear the argument of ‘force sensitives are dangerous if left untrained, and said training should start as early as possible’. I think finding a way to deal with that problem was an insanely complicated decision, and taking children into the temple as young as possible is not a bad solution. I don’t entirely agree with not letting them see their families later, (especially since in legends Obi-Wan was allowed to visit his family, which implies Anakin couldn’t go free his mother specifically because he was already too attached), but the idea is sound. I do also understand that no one is forcing Jedi to stay in the order and they can leave for whatever reason at any time. But that isn’t exactly a free choice either. Leaving the order means leaving the only home you remember, the only people you know to make your own way in the galaxy, and staying with those people means you can never fully love them. It’s a difficult solution to a complicated question, and for the most part, it worked (not always, and not exactly as intended, but I’ll come back to that.) Children grew up in the order, were trained to control themselves and the force, and became Jedi who were impartial, patient, and balanced. But everything falls apart when you introduce someone who wasn’t raised in the temple.

In The Rising Force, 13 year old Obi-Wan had barely been off Coruscant in his life. He describes himself as sheltered and unaware of all the pain in the galaxy, and says it was done on purpose, so younglings wouldn’t have to face the dark side before they were ready for it. But Anakin had seen nothing but darkness, pain and injustice before he joined the order. He was severely traumatized, and while the temple might have had some ways of dealing with trauma and PTSD in adults, they had no experience in treating the same in a child, because their children were kept safe and protected. The idea of letting go of your pain and fear only works if you know you have a safe place to come back to, if you’ve spent the first decade or so of your life in the most protected place in the galaxy. Anakin spent the first decade of his life as a slave. He couldn’t let go of his fear, because fear was what kept him alive. Fear is not irrational if you are constantly in danger, it’s what protects you, keeps you aware of the limits you can push before you get punished. And that mindset doesn’t fade just because you’re out of that situation, especially if your only family, the closest person to you, is still facing that danger every day.

I’ve seen people use every excuse possible to explain why Anakin didn’t see his mother again to avoid blaming the council, including, and I shit you not, “He just didn’t have her comm number”. But to me that seems disingenuous, when we see in his first meeting with the council that they already consider him too attached. It's one of the main reasons they don’t want him to be trained, so it seems logical that they wouldn’t allow him to see her once he became a padawan. I also want to mention that what Yoda says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Is just… blatant catastrophizing. Right? Like we can all see that the escalation is not rational there at all. Maybe it could apply to something else, but not to a child who just left his mother for the first time in his life and went from a tiny dustball in the middle of nowhere to the most populated planet in the galaxy, and is now being tested by a bunch of old people with the power to decide his future. Obviously he’s afraid, and obviously he’s not dealing with it the way Jedi younglings do. That, in and of itself doesn't doom him to fall. Also what Yoda misses there is that suffering leads to fear. This is a closed loop, and one that has defined Anakin’s entire childhood.

Let’s come back to how the system doesn’t always work. The way I see it, most of the characters we see are attached. Obi-Wan is considered one of the greatest Jedi of his time. Windu describes him as “our most cunning and insightful Master—and our most tenacious”. And yet, he was not insightful enough to look past his love for Anakin, his attachment, and see how close to falling he was. Ahsoka was so attached to Anakin she refused to listen to Maul on Mandalore, refused to even consider the posibility he could fall. She was arguably the person with the best shot at preventing the empire forming at that point, and she loved anakin so much she doomed him and the entire galaxy. Aayla admitted to thinking of Quinlan as her father, and also, apparently in legends had a long relationship with Kit. Even Mace didn’t follow the code when he decided to kill Palpatine, which directly led to his death and the empire. He also indirectly caused the war to start. According to wookiepedia “Windu viewed Dooku as the shatterpoint of the entire Separatist movement, which meant striking Dooku down would theoretically end the imminent clone war before it even began. However, Windu's prior attachments to Dooku clouded his judgment.” I’m not even going to mention Kanan and Ezra, who are obviously family.

So basically everyone is attached and lying about it. How has no one thought that maybe this isn’t the healthiest way to live and tried to change the code? Well, I have a theory, and it’s Yoda. He was 900 years old when he died, and was on the council for the vast majority of his life. I can’t find when exactly he became grand master, but it’s safe to assume he held some degree of power over the entire order for most of a millennium. At the end of TPM he tells Obi-Wan “Confer on you the level of Jedi knight, the council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your padawan learner, I do not.” Then he reverses that decision by himself. So either he has the power to veto the council’s word, or who gets trained is entirely up to him. Either way, not great, considering his lifespan is so much longer than most Jedi, and therefore his approach to life is vastly different. Humans need love and closeness to live. However, while we don’t know much about Yoda’s species, it probably isn’t a social one. You could count all the characters of this species on two (human) hands, and Yoda lived in complete isolation for 20 years on Dagobah, and only went a little bit insane. They are naturally rare, and therefore probably lead solitary lives in nature. Moreover, Yoda outlived every master who trained him, and almost every padawan he trained himself, (there’s a great post about that here) so even if he wasn’t naturally predisposed to non-attachment, he would have had to learn it to deal with all the loss he had to live through over the years.

A lot of people think that Anakin fell because he had attachments, which is not true. He fell because of how his attachments played out and/or ended. The most obvious example being Palpatine, who used Anakin’s trust and friendship to groom him for over a decade and actively undermine Anakin’s trust towards anyone else, especially the order. (more on that here). Obi-Wan refused to take on the role of a father figure that Anakin tried to shove him into, so he turned to someone who did accept it. It’s not Anakin’s fault that it turned out to be the worst person alive, nor can we expect him to notice when he’s known Palpatine since he was a child. Another failure of jedi non-attachment, because a loving parent or guardian would not let their child be used as a bargaining chip when the most powerful politician in the galaxy blackmailed the order into allowing him to meet Anakin regularly, but a distant teacher and detached knight thinking of the greater good might. The other attachments Anakin had were taken from him (Shmi and Ahsoka, the last orchestrated by Palpatine who was fully ready to give her the death penalty to make Anakin more unstable), or he was forced to lie and hide them, compromising his vows as a Jedi (Padme) or refused to choose Anakin over the order/their principles (Obi-Wan, and again Ahsoka, and to some extent Padme, but he’d already fallen then). All these people had every right to make the choices they made, but it wasn’t the act of loving them that made Anakin turn to the dark side, it was how those attachments played out.

I think everyone agrees that Yoda is as detached as a Jedi should, if not can, be, and that didn’t prevent Dooku from falling. We see that explored in more detail with Barriss and Luminara. Luminara is detached and distant, she’s fond of Barriss, but their relationship is not familial in the slightest, and she repeatedly shows her willingness to put the greater good and the mission before Barriss’ safety and even life. And yet Barriss still falls. A complex combination of events and choices caused each of those characters to fall, not the simple presence or absence of attachment.

And lastly, just as attachment can make you unstable if your relationship with that person is unstable, it can also make you stronger. There is a reason Anakin and Obi-Wan were the face of the army. Not only did their obvious attachment (the strongest between two jedi we are shown) make them more relatable to the public, but they, when working as a team, are shown repeatedly to be more or less undefeatable. They spend half of aotc flinging themselves off great heights because they know the other will be there to catch them. They know from years of experience that they have backup and they know each other well enough (or force bond communicate) that they can trust the other will be where he needs to be to help/save them. Contrast that to how Windu and Palpatine fight in rots once the window breaks- very carefully, clearly holding back to keep themselves safe. Neither of them has backup until Anakin arrives, but until the last second they can't be sure which one he will choose. Anakin and Obi-Wan fight the same way on Mustafar, especially when balancing on that thin bridge. No acrobatics, swinging arms to keep balance, keeping their distance, being almost uncharacteristically careful compared to how they treated heights in aotc, in tcw, and on the invisible hand in rots, because they both know the other won't catch them if they fall this time.

[fanficwriter284]

Not So Much A Fic But More Of a Strengths and Weaknesses List

Chucky:

-Ok let's start off with his strengths, the guy's physically strong. Younger he was an athlete, playing several sports. However, he does have an artistic side. To reduce stress, he drew in his notebook of things that brought joy to him. Mainly of which was Tiffany or just nature. He was always fascinated with the theme of natural selection. The apex predator is always on top, having nothing to fear. When he was younger his grandfather taught him how to play two instruments since his grandfather was a musician back in his prime, and that is actually how his grandparents met. (Story for another time). He taught young Chucky how to play the guitar and the grand piano. He could even play a bit of the accordion, to get further in touch with his German Roots. But doesn't play it as much. Chucky was always a fast learner, so he picked it up rather quickly. When the twins were babies, he would grab his guitar and play a soothing song, sometimes sing but was VERY RARE. As the twins got older and took a music class, they discover that their dad could actually play the piano, so they annoyed him a lot with several requests for songs. He was excellent at mathematics and helped Tiffany a lot in school.

Alright time to get into his weaknesses: Chucky is what you call a logical thinker, and this isn't necessarily a good thing. He tends to look at problems as math equations. Not at all consider the emotions of others and justifies his reasoning with facts, choosing the more logical approach. He is terrible at reading emotions and body language. You need to be straightforward with him, or he won't understand what's up with you. He'll kinda just stare at you confused. If one of his family members is crying or upset, he'll sit next to them awkwardly, but eventually, he got better at it, due to the help of Tiffany. He just doesn't know how to do emotions. He's also awful at showing his own. Growing up he had been taught by his father that it was weak o show emotion, and his dad would repeatedly beat him till Chucky's tears ran dry. He began to open up again when Mary adopted him but when she passed, he closed off again. He doesn't let people in and doesn't like getting help from others. He struggles with anxiety and it's prone to lashing out. He may seem perfect and ok on the surface but underneath he's a trainwreck.

Tiffany:

Tiffany's a strong woman, who can easily hold her own. She's one of the most empathetic Rays. She's sweet and kind-hearted and will normally leave people alone unless they piss her off. She encourages people to be themselves and is always there to catch you when you fall. She's helped Chucky through so much and taught him how to properly handle the feelings and emotions of others and himself. He's getting there. Whenever he has one of his breakdowns, she's always there right by his side, trying to calm him down. She's the one person he trusts with letting his wall down. She would NEVER look down on him because he would break the tough killer and shift into the emotionally damaged side he has.

Some Weaknesses:----

Tiffany can be a little too empathetic which can sometimes lead to her smothering someone of her family members. Sometimes she can get more focused on taking care of others than herself. But luckily her family loves her and helps her. But sometimes she'll let her emotions completely get the best of her and outweigh her better judgment. Tiffany can a bullheaded and stubborn can lead to dumb decisions. Once she had her mind set on something it was almost impossible to break.

Glen:

Ok, some strengths with Glen are that he's compassionate and very loving. He had a strong moral compass, knowing right from wrong. He'll partake in a kill once in a while and is very supportive of his family. He'll always be there to lend a hand and a shoulder for someone to cry on. He's great at literature and history and likes to educate himself before acting upon something. Math and science he's decent at but not his strong suit. He's very optimistic and always tends to look at the positive side of things.

Weaknesses-

Yes, Glen is known for being the most levelheaded, but he does have a darker side to him. Nobody who harms his family isn't making it out alive. He and Glenda get along for the most part, but he can push her buttons from time to time. Which usually ends up in a fight that their parents have to break up. If he's pissed off, he'll seek out someone who seems to have dark intentions and kill em, to blow off steam. He's not proud of it, but it gets the job done. Especially in his teen years. He's not the easy push people make him out to be, if ya push him too far he'll push you back.

Glenda:

Some strengths of Glenda are that she's very independent and self-assured. She doesn't need no one to tell her that she's gorgeous, she knows it. She's strong and confident in herself. Like her dad, she's a fast learner. Math and science are the number one thing she is amazing at. She's always got that upbeat and cocky attitude like her dad. She won't allow anyone to tell her how to live her life and won't let anyone pity themselves. She'll encourage and reassure those who seem to have low self-esteem. If anyone disrespects her or her family, she'll gladly kill em.

Some weakness of Glenda is that she doesn't always think things through all the way. Never thinking before she jumps. She'll pick fights for the fun of it at times. She and Glen can have an on-and-off sibling relationship, going from wanting to kill each other to gladly risking their lives for one another. Like her dad, she struggles to help people help her and can end up pushing them away.

[beatleszeppelin]

You're A … Inexperienced Ch. 4

Chapter Summary: You spend every waking hour of the next day hoping for Daryl back, you don't know if you'll be mad, sad, scared or happy when he returns. But when you are notified of his return, and you find out he's hurt, things go a bit further, or should I say a base further?

Category: Friends to Lovers, Mild Smut, just a good ol’ time

Paring: Daryl x reader (second person)

Warnings/Includes: General Walking Dead grossness, Smut, swearing, use of weapons, non-graphic hunting, mention of past child abuse, (let me know if you see anything else)

Word count: 2.5k

Chapter 4: I trust you.

“Carol,” You yelled getting her attention.

She smiled back, a sympathetic look, but endearing and all knowing. “I heard what happened last night with you two.”

“Did he tell you?” The inquiry slipped immediately from your lips.

“On his way out he did,” the corners of her mouth pulled back into a smile, and she patted your shoulder.

“Out?”

“Went on a run, early this morning. Daryl stopped and talked to Carl and I on his way out the gates.”

“What did he say happened,” You begged, wanting to know the true reason he’s left you high and dry last night.

“Not very much, most was implied.” She held her arm out, guiding you to a near by table. You both sat together, and pried on the other’s interactions with the elusive conversationalist.

From what you gathered, he left this morning in a hurry, and he left mad. Mad at himself for fucking it up with you, whatever he thought it was. He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing in detail, but he didn’t take much water and nearly no food. He should be back today, based on Carol and Carl’s sleuthing.

But the day went on, and lunch and dinner came and went, and he didn’t make an appearance through the gates. You took the day off from whatever tasks you were supposed to do at the farm, with the animals, and crops, to instead take over a full day of gate work. You didn’t read a book, or draw stupid little pictures in the margins of other peoples papers that were left. You looked out, on guard, watching the shadows change on the road ahead.

Sometime after the shadows left, and the ground turned fully dark, your eyes fell heavy from the lack of sleep you had been allowed the night before. So you turned in. Sleep didn’t come easily, thinking of Daryl out there, mad at himself. He could have run away, he could have left for good. He could be out there hurt, or worse. The thoughts wracked your head, until you woke up the next morning, you don’t remember falling asleep, but you must have sometime early this morning.

You got up and dressed with no effort, for maximum efficiency. The first place you hit was the gate, it was a shift change, so you spoke with Carol on her way in.

“Do you know anything, has he come back yet?”

“You haven’t seen him yet?” she asked as if his whereabouts were seemingly obvious.

“No, I didn’t even know he was back, where is he?” You begged.

“He showed up at the gates late last night. He’s in the infirmary, he got hurt on his run yesterday,” She said, without too much concern, but it didn’t stop you from walking to him, but she did add, “he’s fine, by the way,” while you were still in ear shot.

You walked to him, but by the time you noticed you were running. You couldn’t tell what you were feeling as you braced yourself to see Daryl in whatever state he may be in. You were mad at him for leaving, but happy about his return. Sad that he felt the need to leave in the first place, and scared about his injuries.

You opened the door to the infirmary, walked into the rows of cells and stark white bed sheets that have so regularly been changed. Your quick lope took you to Daryl’s cell, the one that you heard Hershel’s voice and quite grumbles coming from. His monotonous pained breathing served as a compass, guiding you directly to him, without any consideration to which direction your feet were moving.

You stood on the other side of the bars, seeing into his room much like he must have seen into yours just a few nights ago. Hershel was tending to bandages wrapped around Daryl’s abdomen. There was no blood, though. His bare chest was wrapped up, around his ribcage and over his shoulder. He lay on his side, another wrap encasing his knee, was propped up with a throw pillow someone must have retrieved on a run.

As he lay there looking up to you, you stand in the doorway, sorting through the files in your head of possible things you could say to him.

“Welp, I’ll be back to see you later, and remember to take it easy on your body. No strenuous activity.” Hershel picked up and saw himself out, patting you on the back as he left.

Seconds long pause lingered over the heads of both of you, but was broken when you simply asked, “What the fuck?”

“‘m sorry,” he tucked his chin down to his chest.

“I really don’t care if you’re sorry right now, I just want to know what you did, and maybe why?” You said genuinely.

“Didn’t mean to hurt you, an’ when I did, just thought I should leave, always better out there.” He mumbled.

“What do you mean hurt me? You thought you hurt me. Look at you, laying here all wrapped up,” You couldn’t fathom him leaving because he thought he did something wrong, when what hurt you most was the fact that he had left in the first place.

“I knew what you’d wanted, but it didn’t happen, an’ I thought you’d be mad about it.”

“No, I wasn’t mad about whatever happened while you were in my cell, I was mad about everything that happened after. I didn’t want you to leave.” You paused for a breath, “I thought you left because of something I did, and it turns out you did. And what did you mean what I wanted?”

“Well,” He raised his chin, and his eyes kept darting in between your and the floor. “You wanted to fix me, but you can’t change the unchangeable.”

You felt disheartened, his words hurt, not because what he was saying was with mal intent, but because this is what he genuinely thought. He thought that you wanted to sleep with him to fix him, to some how change this broken man that sit before you, but he couldn’t be more wrong. He wasn’t broken, not to you, not to anyone here but himself. “I don’t want you to change; I just don’t want you to have only bad memories.”

“What if we try again, an I still don’t like it?” He said, voice breaking.

“We only try when, or if you want to. I’m always down.” You said, finally walking into the cell, and siting on the stool Hershel was on before.

“And what if I never want to…”

You cut him off, “have sex?”

He raised his head, and then nodded slowly.

“Then, we’ll never have sex, and I will be happy being with you, because you are my friend, and I love you.”

He reached out and grabbed your hand from you lap. And he simply held on to it.

“I do have one more thing to ask of you,” he looked, “how did you get hurt?” His face turned red again, he cleared his throat. “Was out, on my bike. Just riding. I was mad, at myself, at the world, so I was going fast, yeah?” You nodded. “I saw a walker, I tried to stop, but I’s on a patch of sand, and I slid, and fell off.”

You laughed and shook your head, then you pulled your hand out of his for a second, and he subconsciously reached out for it again feeling the emptiness. You grabbed the blanket from his bed, and draped it over his his body, stopping just before the curve his waist. You were scared to touch his bandages, not knowing how much pain he was in. You sat back down, and took his hand in yours, and his shoulders visibly dropped at the connection. “So what did Hershel say?”

He brushed his hair down into his face with one hand, you quickly undid this gesture by pushing all of his hair back behind his ears. “He said I’ve got a dislocated knee, from where the bike fell on me, and I slipped a rib, probably from sliding.” You smiled at him, sympathetically, causing him to bashfully add, “t’s nothin’ bad though.”

Days later, maybe a week, when Daryl could walk (with assistance), you took him out on a makeshift date. You planned where you would take him, a field, outside the walls, with a pond right next to it.

You drove his bike, he sat behind you holding on to your waist, one leg bent, with his foot flat on the pegs, the other straight out, as to not bend his hurt knee. You rode around for a while, you thought he needed it, before circling back to where you wanted to take him. “This is it,” you said as you arrived to a flat spot of land, encompassed by weeds that danced in the wind.

“What’re we to be doing here,” he asked hobbling off of the bike, he’s normally so comfortable on.

You pulled a blanket and some bread and jam out of the saddle bags on the bike, that he was still leaning on, as a crutch. You laid it down. And set the food on top. Then you walked back about ten feet to where Daryl leaned, and slowly eased his arm over your shoulder, seeing as to not hurt his ribs. Then you helped him walk over to where you planned to spend the day with him. You dropped his arm, and it hit his side with a wince.

He held his side, and not so gracefully slid his leg out from him, so it wouldn’t catch any weight on his way to the ground.

“What does it feel like?” You gestured to his leg once he had hit the earth.

He shrugged, “Dunno, like it’s tight when bent, an’ hurts anytime ya put weight on it. Can’t use crutches neither, cause those’d hit ma ribs.”

“You really fucked yourself up didn’t you?”

Breathily, he laughed.

You ate, breaking bread with your hands and passing the jam jar between you. The pond

was enchanting, just as the lake that you bathed in before was. This was safe, though. It was close to the fence, and you each had weapons at the ready.

“Been thinkin’,” Daryl said, with a mouth full of bread.

“Yeah, what about?” he caught your attention with his tone.

“Said, we could try again, right?”

“Right.” you replied, instantly knowing what he was talking about.

“What if, I know… What if the part that I don’t want ta… ‘s there anythin’ else?” He said chewing on his lip to mumble through the words.

“What?” You said scrunching your nose up.

“The whole putin’ yer,” he mumbled so you didn’t catch all of the words, “jus doesn’t feel right.”

“So you’re talking about trying stuff up until the second or third base, not going all the way?” You asked trying to understand.

“Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

You scooted over to him on the blanket, and held your hand up to cup his face. Once you did, and he eased into the touch, you ran your thumb over his cheek. Your fingers were spread, to make room for his ear, under his hair. You looked at his eyes, and he looked everywhere but yours. You leaned in, stoping for a second to whisper, “First base,” and then went in for a soft kiss. It wasn’t quick, but it didn’t last long before he bit your lip, the way he always does his own. Pulling back a little you said “Check.”

You unbuttoned your shirt, but left it on, billowing open in the light breeze. You let him have his fun, as you watched him, poke and prod you in likeness to a child studying a bug. He grew more and more comfortable with the actions, as he encompassed your body with his hands like a sightless person would use a walking stick.

As his hand fell down over your shoulder, your bra strap slipped down, causing him to freeze and wait for your cue. You just unhooked it, and slid the other strap down to match. He withdrew his hands, and started chewing on his thumb. “Would you like me to take it off, I mean it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

He nodded, thumb still in place.

You slipped it off through your shirt sleeve, and watched him take his vest off, and lay it down on the ground. You then helped him pull his shirt off over his head, which you and Carol have been taking turns helping him do, since his accident.

“I would say second base has been accomplished, what about you?”

He sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and mumbled an “mmm hmm.”

“Wanna try third or shall we wait for another day?”

“What exactly is third?” He asked.

“Hand stuff.” You said blatantly, awaiting his reaction.

He thought for a second, nodded, and said, “trust you.”

His words made your stomach bubble, it was excitement and it made you feel like you were about to throw up. You pushed those feelings down, and hooked your fingers in his belt, pulling him in for a kiss. This time, unlike previously, you didn’t lead it. His lips met yours and neither of you moved without the other.

You did however take the lead when you reached down and rested your hand on his leg. You slowly moved your hand up, and his breath hitched. “Are you okay, does something hurt?” you paused.

“Nah, just needed a sec, good now, though.”

Through his pants, you felt that he needed no time to get ready, so you got straight to work. You undid his button on his pants, unzipping as well. He halted all movement; focusing on breathing and staring at your hand slowly working itself up and down. He shut his eyes tight, and moved your hand.

“What, was that too much.” You asked, needing him to tell you what he wasn’t liking.

“It’s a lot, if you touch me ‘gain, I’m gonna…” his face was red and he grabbed his dick tightly.

“Open your eyes,” you coaxed.

“Can’t need to concentrate.” “If you need to, just do it. I’ll take it as a compliment.” You said moving his hand away. “May I?” You asked.

“I trust you.” He said barely above a whisper.

You finished him off in a matter of seconds, his pants were down mid-thigh, and you pulled his rag out to clean him up. He pressed his index and ring finger to the bridge of his nose, acting as a shield from his bright red face; he radiated chagrin.

As his heart pounded, and his breathing was still accelerated, he leaned on you, and whispered “I trust you, and I love you.”

And you could have spent the day there in that position, with him breathing heavily into your neck. And his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist. And although you got home later that day, and went to your separate sleeping quarters, that doesn’t mean this was the last time, it was only his first.