#he was still used to his body and charm specifically as a tool

[waluigisgaybf]

Once you learn more about Astarion his sex scene at the beginning just becomes so sad cause that line where you can be like “you okay? you didnt feel like you were all there?” is def implying the poor fucking guy was disassociating through most of it :(

[justporo]

Opening chests - A guide by Astarion Ancunín

As someone who's been merely seen as a body to use in the worst kind of ways, Astarion enjoys being needed for just about anything else.

You first noticed this when the rest of the party struggled to open a promising looking treasure chest which you all hoped would contain some direly needed riches - or at least something to make for a good dinner.

You were just about to step in and offer your expertise when Astarion made an entrance.

“By all the gods above and below! You bunch call yourself adventurers and can't even pick a simple lock such as this?” he exclaimed as he strode over with a swagger and a viciously teasing smirk. Gale moaned. He knew just like any of the others that Astarion was about to be insufferable when he put on a tone like this - more insufferable than usual that means.

“All these books and not a single one to be useful, just as always? Am I right - oh great Gale of Waterdeep?” the vampire barked back at the wizard's annoyed reaction.

Gale just pressed his mouth into a thin line, not willing to hand his pale companion more opportunities for snide remarks.

“I could always smash it with my axe,” Karlach chimed in and immediately grabbed for her martial weapon and took an enthusiastic step towards the chest.

Astarion threw out his arms to hold her off: “NO!” The tiefling just shrugged and casually hammered her weapon into the ground and leaned against it - an impressive show of her strength.

“My dear Karlach,” Astarion began “your uhm… enthusiasm is deeply appreciated.” (The sarcasm in his voice told another story. But Karlach still beamed at him) “But stuff like this is in need of a little more finesse,” the rogue finished and wiggled his long fingers.

You watched all of this as you crossed your arms over your chest. The lock really wasn't that big of a challenge. You could have probably done it in the middle of the night, with no light source and drunk out of your mind. But Astarion was keen to make a show of it seemed - and by now you were too interested to watch it play out as your less roguish companions watched.

Astarion produced his thieves tools out of his pocket with an artful flip and a wink he aimed specifically at you. You grinned at him. Despite his sometimes goofy or weird mannerisms and the cheesy lines he dropped on about everyone ( but especially on you), you couldn't helped but to be charmed by the vampire.

Astarion made to get to work.

“Now watch,” he exclaimed cheerfully “and take some notes,” he finished dryly with a pointed look at Gale who just threw his hands in the air at another unneeded jab towards him.

It was merely the blink of an eye and suddenly the lock made an very audible a click and fell to the dusty ground.

Astarion jumped up again almost as quickly as he had kneeled down in front of the chest. “Hah!” he exclaimed, twirled around to the party and made an obnoxiously gracious bow.

Karlach clapped, honestly impressed.

You just smirked.

Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

Gale immediately went to open the chest and- “It's empty,” he declared. “What a grand treasure you have revealed to us, oh great Astarion of Know-it-all,” the wizard spat. “It was all for nothing.”

The glance the vampire threw at Gale couldn't have been more sharp had he used his dagger on the wizard. “You all got a great learning opportunity. You should be grateful!” Astarion answered and pursed his lips

“Learned what exactly, Astarion? We could see nothing,” Wyll commented dryly, earning another dagger glance.

Astarion clicked his tongue and strode off as the others seemed to have lost interest in the damned chest now that it had proven worthless.

“Don't come to me again then, crying for help,” the vampire snarled as he walked off, shoulders slumped a little. There might have been just the tiniest tinge of hurt in his voice.

“No one asked him,” Gale muttered. But now he earned sharp looks from the others too.

“What?” the wizard asked offendedly looking around the others.

“Every once in a while even a Know-it-all like Astarion deserves a little praise,” you said as you looked after the vampire. “The next time he opens a lock up for you, you better give him a little pat on the back. We all should, actually,” you closed and then went to go after Astarion.

The others muttered in quiet agreement.

And in fact, from there on out, Astarion became the designated lock picker of the party. And you were happy every time you saw Astarion's ruby eyes sparkle a little with pride when you asked for his help.

[demonsword586]

Tartaros pp headcanons! (Just the nobles)

Bimet

- I imagine he is one of the few normal sized pp owners amongst devils. (Still,they are naturally larger than humans,so normal for a devil is still pretty impressive for a human.)

-Anyway I belive he is around 15 cm in lenght .

-You see the charm about this man's shlong is not in size like most people think but in it's shape.

- You see his tip is sharp. This man is a whore. With enough money,you could probably buy a night with him. And as a proper gold digger....he needs a sharp tool for the job.

-You ever saw the part of a flute in which you blow? Yea that's his tip

-Not only is his tip pointy but somewhere in the middle of his shaft he has tiny bumps. They're small and there's not a lot of them...but just enough for you to feel it when he ravages your insides.

-He thought about dipping his pp in gold like he does to his feet but immediatelly stopped after the first try. Mostly because the gold was dropping down way too quickly because of the higher temperature.

-He settled on just wearing a few thin golden cock rings. Also has a simple prince albert piercing

-From all the gold in the air,I woudn't be suprised if he eats it too. After a few years of chewing on metal,his cum got a certain yellowish color to it.

-I do think he cums a lot tho and it's watery...very watery.

-He keeps himself groomed most of the time. If you're serving the richest man in hell as his right hand,you gotta keep a certain level of proper hygene and looks to match.

- Also yes his pp does smell like pennies.

Valefor

- I think he's pretty similar to Mammon. He already works hard to have a body like his. I woudn't be suprised if that applies to his dick as well.

-As you can imagine....big. Not as big as Mammon's meat srick but very similar. Thick,long and hard as a brick. He should register is as a lethal weapon. In and put of the bedroom.

-At least he is aware of his own size,comparred to some other careless nobles. He knows he could actually hurt you and does everything in his might to prevent that,even if it means sacrificing his own pleasure for yours.

-Speaking of pleasure and cumming,he's another one of those breeding bulls. His cum is a bit thick but actually tastes pretty good. The most similar thing to it is a lemon tart.

-Back to his cock. It's a bit more normal whrn it comes to the shape. It's the kind of a penis that is pretty to look at but also scares you with just how big it is. In other words,a teddy bear kind of pp.

-He keeps his pubic hair growing. Of course,he does shave it off every once in awhile. But only when it gets so unruly it iches. But every other time? He just let's it grow. He just doesn't pay too much attention to his hair when he has to put so much work into growing out his muscles.

-But somehow has one of the healthiest hygene routines? Has like 12 diffrent products,all for a specific thing on his body. He's a good boy who takes care of himself properly.

-He does work out a lot tho,so he can't always be smelling like sunshines and manly chemicals. Even after many showers,there is still a small sprinkle of the sweaty smell on him. He is trying to get rid of it since he knows humans are a bit more sensitive about bad smells compared to devils

Eligos

- Small...the smallest penis owner in Tartaros nobility and he is damn proud of it!!!

-He's actually really happy with his size since smaller pps are way cuter than those muscular-looking dicks. It gives him a very cute bulge too!

- It's size is 11 cm.

- Some of his coworkers suggested he starts wearing some more gold but he refuses. After all,ribbons are way cuter than gold and very flexible in their usage too! He can wrap them everywhere even on his dick.

-Has a collection of diffrent types of ribbon fabric,each for a specific part on his body. There is so many pretty fabrics after all but not every one fits more intimate areas. For down there he uses a very soft,silk ribbon.

- Has a very good hygene too. Probably owns a whole cabinet of showering items. My man knows his stuff. He follows Orias's social media and they even give each other beauty tips in DMs. Paimon joins in on some conversations as well.

- Anyway back to his pp! We already got out of the way that it's small. Well it's also really sensitive! Especially on the underside of his shaft and the point where his tip is the sharpest. If you rub or touch him there,he becomes quite vocal. I don't mean those little whimpers but full on moans. When Mammon first heard him,he had to ask later if he was okay and if he needed a headpat. Poor man probably thought Eligos hit his balls or something.

-Speaking of balls,his are pretty small and round. His ballsack is a bit tight which makes his balls appear very adorable,like little marbles. They fit perfectlly in your palm too! Ah,but don't squeeze them,he'll push you away and cover them for a few weeks if he sees you.

-Man waxes. You see those shiny thighs? Yea he wants all of his assets to be like that. Smooth like an infant. He actually does the whole process by himself. Unless there is a place he cannot reach *cough* his ass *cough*

-Overall,a very cute little thing and slightly squishy. The color of it is just as his skin with his tip being a paler pink.

[tightjeansjavi]

Cigarettes & Feelings

Part One (+18)

“I always fall for the things that will hurt me.”

(Javi Peña x f! reader)

A/N: so uhh this originally was going to be one part and then I got to writing it and I was like uh oh…and now 🫠 here we are! This is going to be a 2-3 parter at the least. *sigh* here we go again!

~word count: 1.6k~

Summary: Agent Peña, Bogotá’s infamous playboy. Has he met his match when he meets you, the US Embassy’s newest receptionist.

Warnings: Javi is a douche, cocky typical playboy, thinks that he can sleep with anything on legs, huge ego, kinda mean, doesn’t take well to you bruising his ego, fear of intimacy, would rather flee the scene than face his feelings, denial of feelings, flirting, banter, some sexual tension? (If you squint) reader doesn’t take any of his shit, still finds him attractive but heard the talk of his reputation, definitely going to turn into a game of cat and mouse, eventual smut, angst, unrequited feelings, heartbreak, pining, unestablished relationship, no use of (y/n) only description is that you’re an American no physical descriptions used.(+18) minors dni!

Agent Peña Playlist:

Bogotá, Colombia 1988

When you accepted the position to be a receptionist at the US Embassy in Bogotá, Colombia. You were thrilled to be leaving the states finally. You had desires to travel the world, meet new people, create new experiences, fall in love? Nah, that would be far too cliche, especially for an American. Your first day in the office was bombarded with the other receptionists warning you about a specific DEA agent; Javier Peña. Bogotá’s well known playboy. Frequent brothel customer, tool, has a bit of an anger problem, devilishly handsome, can break your heart with just a kiss, Javier Peña.

Agent Peña had slept his way through Bogotá. Coworkers, sex workers, married women, naive American girls, informants. Even men found themselves falling for Javi’s addictive charm. As soon as you were informed of the DEA agents' consistent conquests, you were going to do everything in your power to not fall for his charm. You were going to do your absolute best to not fall into his deadly trap. No matter how handsome, how beautiful his pools of brown eyes enticed you, you would not cave. The cord could only withstand so much pressure before it ultimately snaps, right?

Javier embraced all kinds of women into his sheets. He was unshy in the bedroom, and that's why it came as no surprise to him that almost every woman in Bogotá knew his name, and they knew the kind of lover he was. His lovers would be left in a sweet, sticky sex stained gaze. Javi’s presence would linger on their bodies, their clothes, their sheets for days to come. Cigarette smoke, musk, inducing cologne, would envelop their bodies in a comforting warmth. When his scent no longer lingered, they would be left craving more. Javier couldn’t blame them, not really. He took a sense of pride in knowing he was more than an adequate lover in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom? Well, that's where the playboy reputation came about. Javier didn’t date. He didn’t develop crushes and he certainly didn’t fall in love.

To protect the women he slept with feelings, and his own, he strictly stuck to one night stands. No matter how good the sex was, no matter if he felt a connection, an ounce of intimacy, he fled each time. He had a few slip ups here and there. He was only human after all. He craved human touch just as much as the next person. He learned quickly from his mistakes and his heart was even more closed off than before. Locked away in a steel cage, and buried deep within in the ground. He threw the key away and swore to never unlock it.

When you showed up to the office for the first time, Javi’s breath was stolen from his lungs the second he laid his eyes on you. He had encountered countless beautiful women, from all over the world. Why were you any different? Why was his heart racing? Why did his unnecessarily tight shirt suddenly feel even tighter? Why was he profusely sweating? What the hell was happening to him?

“Who is that?” He found himself asking Murphy, with a cigarette pursed between his soft lips. The smoke was slowly curling around his face, obscuring you from his view momentarily.

Steve glanced up from his typewriter as he followed Javi’s gaze to the receptionists area in the office. He raised a brow before chuckling, “New meat from the states. It’s her first day, so you better be nice, Peña.” he teasingly warned his colleague.

Javi quirked his brow up as he looked over at Steve. He scoffed under his breath, eyes rolling slightly. “American, huh? Who says I wasn’t gonna be nice in the first place Murphy? You think so highly of me.” His tone was sarcastic as he leaned back in his chair, taking a drag from his cigarette.

Steve gave him an ‘are you serious?’ look before he pulled the sheet of paper from the top of the typewriter to start on a fresh page. “You’re not the most welcoming to anyone unless you wanna sleep with them, Javier.”

“¿Me estás llamando puta? You fucking hillbilly.” Javi chuckled.

“Just telling you how it is Peña.” Murphy responded with a disinterested shrug.

“Who says that I don’t wanna sleep with her? All the more reason for me to be nice.” He crossed his arms behind his head, leaning back with a knowing smirk.

Steve wasted no time to crumble up a piece of paper and chuck it right at Javier’s head.

“You are such an unbelievable fucking pig sometimes, you know that Javi?”

“Bogotá’s most irresistible Playboy.” Javi responded humorlessly.

Unbeknownst to the two DEA agents, you were watching their interaction from afar. You couldn’t help it. Javier was stupidly handsome. You were only appreciating the way his lips wrapped around the cigarette pursed between them so effortlessly. How the hell did one man make smoking look so goddamn attractive? A light, airy giggle slipped past your lips before you could stop it from happening.

Javi’s head whipped all the way around when he heard your sweet giggle. It tickled his eardrums in the best way possible. He wasted no time to ash his cigarette into the ashtray nearby on his desk before he was rising from his desk chair, shooting Murphy a playful wink before he strode over to your little cubicle.

You did your best to look busy, and act inconspicuous when two tan, muscular forearms were visible in your peripheral vision. Your manicured nails were quickly typing away on the typewriter. Javi’s scent was overwhelming, intoxicating and a tad irritating. The mix of lingering cigarette smoke, and an unidentifiable cologne, was a dangerous combination.

“Is there something you find to be particularly amusing sweetheart?” Javier nearly purred the pet name out past his sinful lips.

“Not at all, Agent Peña.” You were quick to respond without looking up from the keyboard. You were feeling slightly flustered, but you’d be damned to let him know that.

“Javier.” He corrected you. “My name is Javier but you, my dear, can call me anything you’d like.” He was still leaning over your small desk space. His stupid broad shoulders were casting a shadow over you from the overhead fluorescent lighting.

“Uh huh. That’s nice Agent Pena. I’m kinda busy right now, so is there something important that you need? If not, I'd appreciate it if you left me alone so I can focus on my job. Thank you so much.” The tone you responded with was flat, unamused to say the least.

Javier was taken aback momentarily by your distaste towards him. He was used to women twirling their hair, giggling, fluttering their lashes at him and flirting right back without a care in the world. What he realized then, was that he was gonna have to try a little harder..or give up entirely. He might have just met his match without even realizing it.

“My apologies, miss. I just wanted to come over and introduce myself.”

“I don’t think an introduction is necessary, Javier. I’m fully aware of your reputation around the office, and the city. Now, can you please take your hands off my desk? It’s rude to tower over someone like that.” You finished typing before pulling the paper off the typewriter and stood up, finally meeting his eye contact.

“Ah. Of course, the mindless office gossip from the Embassy’s finest receptionists.” He leaned in slightly, his stance still intimidating nonetheless. You got a small whiff of his cologne, and a peek at the glistening tan skin below the two open buttons on his stupid tight shirt. “Isn’t it rude to judge a book by its cover before you have even opened it, cariño?”

“I’m sorry? I think I'm going to take the word of multiple women in the office over yours Javier.” You challenged back as you stepped out from behind your cubicle with a manila folder in hand. “Here is that phone conversation between La Quica and one of the informants you slept with. Looks like you have a date later, Peña.” You shoved the folder into his broad chest before walking away, heels clicking on the smooth tile.

Javi felt his mouth go dry as you shoved the folder into his chest. He watched as you walked away, eyes zoning in on the slight sway of your hips. His ego wasn’t just bruised, oh no no. You had completely torn him a fucking new one. His knuckles tightened and flexed over the material of the folder, bending it slightly. His eyes averted to the other receptionists who were quietly typing away. He wondered if they all had told you about his reputation, or if it was a specific receptionist. Either way, he was going to find out one way or another.

He stopped at Valentina’s desk, leaning over the expanse of it. The same way he did at your own cubicle. “Val, was it you querida?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Javi.” The young receptionist glanced up at him briefly, before looking back down at the keyboard.

“Mhm. I’d suggest that you find new plans for Friday night.” He pushed himself up off her desk before he walked away, like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

Murphy had the biggest fucking smirk on his face when his colleague returned to his desk and immediately grabbed a cigarette before tossing the box into the desk drawer and slammed it shut.

“Damn. She really had you by the balls, huh Peña?” Murphy did his best to hide his chuckling, but it was hard not to. It wasn’t everyday that he got to see Javi turned down like that.

“Don’t you fucking start with me, you fucking hillbilly.” Javier responded in a snappy tone as he quickly lit his cigarette and tossed the lighter down onto his desk without a care in the world.

“Ouch.” Murphy clutched his hand to his chest in faux pain to which Javi responded by flipping him off.

Yeah, you had ruffled his feathers pretty fucking good. That was for damn sure.

Translation: ¿Me estás llamando puta?

“Are you calling me a whore?”

_______________________

Tag list: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @pedgeitopascal @userpedros @pedrospartner @korynnekorynne @kirsteng42 @yazsos @last-girl @amanitacowboy @lovers-liability @tinygarbage @777-wonders @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @loquaciousferret @pedrostories

[possessionisamyth]

Here's some RE Separate Ways analysis that isn't about shipping because I like Ada. I'm happy her DLC actually focuses on her, but some of the takes I'm seeing are Insufferable. Main statements in bold for ease of reading and skipping purposes.

-Wesker and Ada haven't been working together consistently for the past 6 years. This dripless bitch is calling Ada every five minutes to babysit her. I don't think that's the relationship dynamic of someone you're regularly employed under, and when it is, Ada is not the type of character to tolerate that behavior for 6 years. We know Ada is a contract worker. We can understand she's worked for Wesker on and off, but she's a freelance agent period. She must've done enough jobs for Wesker that he feels the need to check on her and have this constant reporting in to make sure she stays on task since he's clearly used to her not always following his orders. He 100% hired her for this assignment because he knew the situation and compared to the other options, she had the highest survival chances. Which, he was right. High risk, high reward.

Sometimes Wesker's babysitting works: Ada holding Luis at gunpoint when he tries to negotiate saving Leon and Ashley. Sometimes he knows when to step away: "Keep your dog." All of it is in the effort to get what he wants. Look, he let her live. He worked with S.T.A.R.S for years and wanted them all dead. If he worked with Ada regularly and she pulled this shit with the amber, he would've had that helicopter blown out of the sky. There's always some restraint with personal distance, especially with a guy who thinks so highly of himself.

-Luis is a drama queen. In the regular game, Luis acts cool and under control to the best of his abilities around Leon and Ashley. It's a part of his newly found hero-complex even though he does still know when to ask for help: "save me prince charming!" In the DLC, we see the real side of Luis. The one who's scared, and dramatic, and knows when he's not shooting with a loaded gun so to speak. When Ada tells him to leave her to fight, he does. He wants to help, but his respect for her abilities sends him fleeing like she orders him to. Also, like every scientist, he has zero self-preservation! He ran into a fire that clearly would kill him to get medicine. And the exchange afterwards? "No! Now you'll all die!" "Make some more medicine." "Oh..yeah...I can do that. I do have that ability."

The flamenco dance. "Are you mad at me???🥺 You're mad at me!😭" This man understands Ada can kill him without blinking, but still can't keep his composure around her. This is such a fun dynamic to explore in fic for expansion stories and "Luis lives" au's. The DLC gives him breaks to freak out and panic, whereas the main game holds the "cool persona" moments after Leon saves him. Even his dying words to Ada. This man is bleeding to death and still can't shut up. I love him.

Okay, that's all I gotta say about the loser men. Now for the star of the DLC. Ada. :)

-Ada "Sans Undertale go into my eyes" Wong. The methods Ada uses in the DLC are fun and appropriate. It's not invasive and in your face unlike another agent, but more subtle. She can track footprints, fingerprints, gauge the safe distance required for her grappling hook, and she knows when she needs to fight and whens he needs to run. Her practicality has always been the cleanest of the entire cast due to her being a spy, but this time we actually get to see this trait utilized through her tools.

-Ada is silly and quips her own jokes to get through it. Something I'm not seeing anyone talk about including the aeon people who are claiming anything they can get, is this specific humor parallel between Leon and Ada in the remake. Both of them have gone through the horrors of Raccoon City. Both of them went right back into very difficult military in function style work which always has a body count. I talked about Leon's humor coping mechanism here [X], but to hear Ada do the same thing? I feel like they went under the radar because they don't sound as stupid as Leon's quips, but they are still so stupid. "Nighty night." "Lights out." "Bring me a real challenge next time." "Now look at the mess you've made." "You think that gun will be enough?" She and Leon even share the same "Next," line!

If I had 80GB to spare on the game, I'd see just how many more I could get out of her. Like, these are dumb as hell. She's found a method to cope with the horrors she's witnessing that just so happens to coincide with Leon's. I'm not saying this as a marker of whatever romance you've tossed them in or even to diss any other romances. What I am saying is that they have a similar type of mental illness resulting from trauma, and they ended up using the exact same coping method despite never seeing each other.

Ada fans who hate Leon! This opens a door for you when it comes to character analysis and how Ada deals with her PTSD and/or depression! Run through it RIGHT NOW!

-Ada's infection pulls a lot more weight than it seems. I've seen some people say Ada's parasite should've been removed the same as Leon's and Ashley's. (Which is an extremely unsubtle argument to get them all in the same room for your shipping nonsense.) However, something I noticed with the DLC were the parallels to the troubles in RE2. The Black Robe/U-3/Pesenta monster is the first time where we get to see Ada dealing with a stalking enemy. Due to RE4 being so much more plot-lined streamed to maintain the flow of gameplay, these events were not allowed to be random, but the narrative purpose remains. Ada gets to have a stalking enemy in her DLC like Claire and Leon did in RE2 with the addition of a hubris check.

The hubris check? Well, Ada has never been infected until this DLC. In the original games, she can step back and watch people die because she doesn't know what it feels like. Now she knows what it feels like. The lack of control. The pain. The slow turning. Her job has had her flirting with death for years, but not in a way she can't fiddle with the odds. A parasite is not something a person can distract with words. The action to steal the amber is backed up via personal experience not just a morality code slapped on. The addition of Wesker's correction to "billions of causalities" means she's included in that number and just cements her incentive to flee. She's not doing this for Leon. She's not doing this for Luis. She's doing this for herself, and if it so happens to help other people then it is what it is. After being on both sides of the coin when it comes to viruses, she can no longer function as entirely impartial to the work she's doing.

-Ada doesn't ask for permission but asks for forgiveness. Don't take this phrasing literally. She doesn't ask Wesker to forgive her. What this means is that she'll do something before asking, and if it upsets people then she'll course correct. Her job is not the kind of job where she needs to take orders for every action she implements which is why Wesker calling every five minutes was annoying as hell. In the OG RE4 she kind of argues with Wesker for Leon to live for "his usefulness", but it's swiftly shut down until it's convenient to Wesker for Leon to live. This forces her to sneak around and betray Wesker multiple times to save Leon secretly, and the concept rightfully gets thrown into the garbage for the remake DLC.

The scene in the bedroom where Wesker tells Ada not to become a liability after taking her blood? Ada doesn't fight to get her shit back. Some people said this was flirting. Wrong. This is Ada seeking forgiveness after the fuck up of passing out in the middle of an active field by letting Wesker walk off with an infection sample. She then makes sure not to fuck up a second time in the same way, and she doesn't. She learns the signs of her parasite so in case she does pass out again, she'll be somewhere much less conspicuous. She listens for the changes in her environment and the feelings in her body and prepares herself for what's next.

-Ada saves Leon and Ashley for Luis' sake. I stated earlier that Ada's action to take the amber was for her own sake but ends up helping others. This is the exact situation going on when Luis talks about getting the suppressant. She needs the suppressant in order to do her job and kill the black robe so she can heal. It just so happens that Leon and Ashley need the suppressant for survival reasons too. They are an afterthought until Luis dies.

We watch Ada question Wesker and his plans all throughout this DLC, and she comes to her own conclusions after her experience working with him. She could've gotten the amber back and let the whole place blow into smithereens like Wesker intended. Who cares about the president's daughter? Who cares about another dead federal agent? Luis did. He cared so much he died for it, and just like that other clown in Raccoon City (aka her), she got emotionally attached. If there was anything she could've done for Luis to make his death mean something, it was this act.

-Ada sells Leon's jacket. This isn't analysis, but I thought this was funny as hell. ACAB! No exceptions! Freeze your tiddies off, Leon! I don't give a shit!

-Ada's new outfit is still better than her old one. It's still not the best they could've given her. I'm also not speaking from a fashion point of view when I say this. In the OG RE4 we see Leon in a jacket which is forcibly removed to show off his pecs to the ladies, but it clearly marks a colder time of year. OG RE4 Ada has arms out, legs out, and tits out because a hoe never gets cold. The sweater dress for the remake re-establishes that it's colder here because even Luis doesn't lose his jacket. Ashley doesn't lose her jacket either until they yoink it off her for ritual reasons. I still hate that the thigh high boots have that heel and would prefer the flats, but that's going to be in the complaint paragraph below.

-Capcom sexism at play once again. I don't give a shit about rigs and motion capture or whatever, her walk cycle was 2 adjustments from being full Bayonetta, and I hate it. The ass shots? Disrespectful. Her heels didn't have to be that high. Never heard of a kitten heel? They exist. The people who worked on RE3 Remake and worked on this DLC sure love to make a woman vomit don't they? Why the fuck was she so clean the entire game? She was being thrown around and tossed in the dirt a lot, but this woman's skin is shinier than a waxed apple. Either she has some wet wipes on hand, or god forbid women get filthy. Absolutely zero reason she shouldn't have been looking as rough as Leon by the time she gets on the helicopter! No reason at all!

That's all they wrote! I love Ada. I loved this DLC, and I loved the dynamics going on here even though I hated every time Wesker was on screen or opened his mouth at all.

As much as I would love to expand this post and go further into the changed Ada and Leon relationship, I frankly hate all the takes I've been seeing so much on either side of the Aeon debate. I hate the ongoing conversation around it so much that I don't know if I want to discuss this at all. The Aeon should've gotten this if not for Luis and Ashley side and the Aeon is dead side going back and forth with each other? All of you put on your clown noses! None of you are looking at this situation objectively to see where the lines cross and where they run alongside each other, and frankly I'm tired! I could clear this whole table off so both of you can get exactly what you want based on what you're not actually interpreting from this media, but I won't! Kill each other!

[not-souleaterpost]

opinion on gopher

Well no shade at any Gopher fans but not really positive so dont read further if you dont wanna be sad😂

To me Gopher kind of is one of the reasons for my controverial oppinion of the anime being better than the manga:

The most simple and least pretentious way of describing my thoughts and reasons is - I find him unfunny and obnoxious, while also feeling that he is a pointless charachter with wasted potential at the same time.

But to get more into detail...

When did he get introduced (if I remember correctly?): During that whole mini-arc about Maka wanting "to be an angel".

I have many problems with that part of the story, especially with how it turns Maka into some generic "tsundre kawaii girl who not so secretly likes the guy who she is bitchy too"

But I wont get too much into that, just the fact that I get the point - Gopher gets introduced as foil to her in that arc, to kinda give her a reality check of how unlikeable and childish she is acting.

But the point is, that even with the most charitable interpretation of the arc, Gopher IS just by his nature a charachter tailor-made (literally) to be obnoxious and annoying.

And unlike Excalibur, I find the way in which he is just groan-worthy and not charming and soothing (Yeah Excalibur is great, shout out to the OG)

But ok, maybe thats just bad impresions, does he improve later? Not really cause his whole gag stays this kinda creepy quasi incestious obssesion with Noah and idk, dont even wanna write about that part too much lol

But even if one just looks at it as a charachter trait with possible development, it leads nowhere, Gopher being static besides his final gag (which I admit is funny but also a bit ehh with the whole implication of what hes gonna do with 7 naked unconcious bodies...)

Still, one could say why am I'm expecting something out of a gag charachter? Just dont overthink it - maybe I wouldnt if Ohkubo didnt kinda setup a situation where it seemed there could be more to him, only to be just wasted panel time in the end:

What I mean is, the whole setup of him torturing and integoriating Kid - which seemed to be a perfect opportunity for charachter development for both of them - because they actually have some simmilarities:

Both are "created" and "reverant" to their Father-figure, both have unhealthy obssessions and both start throwing childish tantrums when things dont go their way. (also surface details like both seemingly being anime pretty boys appeiling to a specific demographic, with the dark hair and proper dress-code etc)

Yet all that didnt lead to anything - neither Gopher realised that his "master" is horrible compared to the other side, nor did it make Kid reflect about his own obssessions and how obnoxious and ridicolous he must look to others.

Neither was there anything about being sorta non human, "created" not born - but thats excusable cause that was revealed after the fact in Kids case.

Hell, still there could be even some strengthening of both sides negative traits, the tragedy of communication being impossible, but all lead just to an ok gag of Kids face being made unsymmetrical.

But also on a tangent, the whole "black wings" thing also just seems to be derivative - especially when the much stronger parallel of "angel vs demon" with black and white wings was between Maka and Crona, so yeah I think the whole obnoxious Maka and Gopher thing kinda deluded that meaning, but thats more of a pet peeve.

Still, to leave of not with just bitching, but an interesting thought, or atleast kinda funny in a stupid way (enough that I will prolly use it as filler in my iceberg videos):

So Gopher is a creation of Noah. But Noah is just one of seven other creations. Who are made by the Index, which is just a manifestation of a part of the Book of Eibon, which was written by the Wizard of the same name.

How many layers of being a tool is that?😂

[finnissilly]

Triple Threat - dnd campaign updates (2)

A story about three goobers

If you haven’t read the first campaign update here it is

Next session, session 5/6:

After waking up, Miles attempted to roll the bodies off the cliff to have any remaining conscious ones dead.

Two of the three he rolled woke up, those two being the bugbear bossman who beat the shit out of Blooper, and a hobgoblin who said something along the lines of skinning Orion for a rug (because. Tabaxi lore.)

The third was the half orc who Orion charmed and whatnot and he died and Orion set him on fire on our way back down.

Anyway- the bugbear started bookin it and Miles tried shooting him but was off by one point on his AC (also I wasn’t counting attack bonuses at this point since I was fairly new)

Anyways, he got away.

The hobgoblin on the other hand we ended up tying up and taking all his stuff so he couldn’t hurt us.

He apologized to Orion and told us that basically all the goblins here were being blackmailed and he had a family he needed to provide for.

We told him his boss got away and then he asked us to kill him, we didn’t. He told us basically if bugbear got away then his family was probably already dead.

Told us his name was Ogabond but we all just call him Og.

Two of the merchants were frkm Valica while Lloyd (Samantha Green’s husband) was from Farport.

So we all went to Valica first since that was much closer, and returned the the merchants back home.

But, there was a lot of bustling within the streets and it was super busy. Odd.

Orion went to ask someone what was happening and Orion and Miles specifically had not a clue what was happening, Blooper probably would’ve known.

Turns out there was a dragon festival happening and it’d be an event for the next three days. Pretty cool.

Also it was a colder day than usual (this will be important information for later)

The three of us decided to go chat with Korg, as we did. Orion and Miles decided to be very strange about it.

As- Orion snuck in, and Miles decided to book it in.

One important thing to note is that all three of these goobers are covered in blood.

Miles was tackled by a guard but teleported out of his grasp to right outside Korg’s office as Orion ended up there as well.

As for Blooper- he literally just asked the front desk where Korg was and if he was available.

We go to Korg and he’s happy to see us and we told him what was up and everything.

He was very impressed with us and offered us a job at the merchants guild in helping some beast tamers gather silk from spiders.

And he told us we should join the merchants guild etc.

We started considering the idea. As Blooper was on board while Miles? Not so much.

Anyway, Korg lent Dragon and Orion an armed guard carriage to return the remaining merchant(s?) back to Farport.

Korg said that we basically got rid of any threats that would be to and from the two places but despite that yk still heavily guarded.

Now I don’t remember everything to an exact point but basically a long rest happened somewhere and Og got out of his restraints and just lied down on the ground and Miles gave him a blanket.

Next morning Miles made fun of Blooper a little bit. Because. Their relationship is very much like overly competitive siblings.

Anyway, festival was setting up and during this we saw a beast keepers exhibit, which Miles was able to sneak over to and see two fey dragons who wanted out.

After telling the situation to Blooper and Og, we concluded we needed thieves tools to make this work. But. We are all broke.

What was the next best thing? Pickpocketing the public.

We got over 70 gold from that with Miles and Og pickpocketing and Blooper being once again- a good distraction.

We’re able to get some thieves tools and we waited for night to come.

Orion and dragon made it to farport and returned Lloyd home. I’m now realizing his name was actually Luke and not Lloyd.

But I guess that doesn’t matter too much because we never heard from him again. However we do meet another Lloyd within this later, so. They aren’t the same person I wanna make that clear.

Samantha was happy to have her husband back home and gave Orion a magical amulet and some money. Orion went back to mr Keraldac to get the money promised to us for solving the case.

He promised us 60 gold and doubled if we could take care of it.

After Orion struggling to remember how much he owed us, he was able to get the money.

Also. To any of you wondering: he loves the rats we gave him.

Also Miles named them since he tamed them and their names are Vanilla and Mayonnaise. Neither are white.

Anyway, got the money and Orion had to figure a way back. And I don’t really remember how it led to this? But basically Orion turned into a horse and tricked a farmer into thinking he had 4 horses and not 3, and Orion convinced all the horses to be free and follow him to Valica.

The farmer tried to get his horses back but Orion turned into a panther and terrorized this man and then left and eventually found his way back to Valica.

We all met back up and relayed the plan we were trying to enact.

We tried to talk nicely to the people and convince them to let the dragons go- that didn’t work. Also it was much more guarded now that it was night.

So what ended up happening was Og started throwing punches at Blooper as a distraction. Making a scene so the guards had to run to separate the two. Miles ran off and was able to free one of the feydragons with thieves tools but that took a solid minute and while that was happening- one of the guards started coming back.

Orion turned into a small black cat and went over to the guard and started purring rubbing up against the guards legs.

The guard thought he was super cute and assumed Orion was a stray cat and not a full grown man pretending to be a kitten. And took Orion back to his home.

Blooper was able to make the fight look big and believable with his time as a sailor spitting the most horrid words out of his mouth but the guards were able to separate them and it died down.

As for Miles- the guards now that the fight died down were coming back and the second feydragon was urging for them to leave.

Miles wasn’t having that, he was able to crowbar the cage open which- yea it’s loud, and that alerted the guards as Miles teleported into a back alleyway unseen.

Orion now at a random guy’s house- wasn’t his house, he was just in town for the festival. The guy had a very makeshift room and was trying to take care of him, Orion had to figure a way out so.

Once again.

Panther mode.

Terrorizing this man, and then booking it out of the home and through the town which he did get shot at a few times but was able to zoom off- into the water and then back out on land as himself again.

Gang met back up (hurray) and Orion was able to make quite the impression on both towns as “the demon cat” and.

Orion doesn’t even hurt people when he does that, he licks them and then runs off. (First man he did hurt by accident while licking his face, second guy he just licked his hair) and the beast keepers were blamed for that incident.

Session 7/8 (I don’t remember at all):

Miles was blessed with the ability to speak draconic by the fey dragons who thanked him in his “sleep”

We all went out and decided to take down the rest of the beast keeper place, as a lot of boats were boarding we tried to figure out which one it was- Orion easily figured it out.

Blooper was easily able to board the boat with Miles (sailor background)

And the two made it on easily.

Orion asked Og to make a distraction but not punch or hurt him in doing so- which Og decided instead to brawl with a random civilian.

That worked pretty well.

Orion turned into a beaver and started chewing at the rope docking the ship, unfortunately he was caught- as a guy bumped into him, just thinking it was weird but Orion then turned into a panther, clawing at the rope and then leaping onto the boat, which- that mixed with Bloopers move water to push the boat- was more than able to set sail.

Also the crowd seeing Orion made them wanna fight him but luckily Orion was mostly uninjured.

Keep in mind that Miles and Blooper have no fucking clue that this is Orion.

The two people on board the top deck were pretty shaken at this, and initially tried to shoot Orion but both Blooper and Miles were able to “animal handle” Orion and everything. The two on board gave them some rope to leash Orion up.

And then take him down below to put him with the others.

Once we got down, no one else was in the room so Orion turned back into himself.

And we saw three cages- one holding a blink dog, one holding this little mushroom lizard and the third holding an owlbear.

We tamed and freed all three of them.

The blink dog teleported out of existence, the mushroom lizard we ended up taking with us and we named him Celery. And the owlbear we got out and it caused fuckin havoc- screams being turned to silence very quickly and it terrorized a few townspeople as well before hopping into the sea and swimming off.

Orion blew a hole in the ship which ended up sinking it as we all swam off- oh right forgot to mention as well that while we were setting sail we saw Og getting arrested and looking beaten the hell up.

Anyway, we swam off and ended up going somewhere else so we wouldn’t be suspected as blooper drained all the water from us but now Celery was mad at us.

He tried to poison us all once- but that didn’t work, Orion just used a little gust of wind to blow it away. Miles picked him up and he tried to poison miles but that didn’t work, he was pretty exhausted after that so he just gave up.

We saw all the beast keeper circus people getting arrested meanwhile we got off Scott free.

And then went to a local jail to see where Og was.

After a few inquiries and questions we were able to get him and his stuff out, he was confused why we helped him and Blooper told him “because you’re our friend. We hope.” One of the many things he had on him as he gave him his stuff back was a bone carving of something that looked to be like a toy- and when we gave it back he started crying and whispering something in goblin, Miles was able to comfort him a little bit before we moved on to the next thing.

We went to Korg to see what was up and he seemed very stressed and out of it.

Asked him what was wrong and he said basically that this item had gone missing of a very valuable noble woman and he tasked us to go find out what was happening.

We followed a long trail of scattered jewelry/gold and stuff that led to a caravan of these guys who’s thing was knocked over, we told him basically what was goin on. That we worked for Korg and they pointed us in the right direction, leading us to a place at the very edge of the city called “the witches cauldron” we went in, and after some investigation we noticed a bookshelf out of place, which we pushed out of the way and delved into an underground basement.

The next two sessions, which I'll just label 9 and 10 for simplicity sake were "background sessions" that were done with the ranger (Miles/me) and cleric (Blooper) because the druid (Orion) was on vacation.

TW: abusive relationship, and drug mentions

This was how Blooper and Miles met- so those two were hired by a local farmer named Gregory to save a noble woman named Layani from an abusive relationship with the lord Ophellion.

Gregory and Layani were actaully in a relationship with one another and Layani's father- mr Goodman, was marrying her off so that the family could essentially earn more money and whatnot. Mr Goodman was noted not to be a bad person, just making a bad decision he was unaware of Ophellion being a terrible person.

Anyway, we had to figure out a way to sneak into the noble's party- gregory told us to get suits from a local tailor and tell him that he sent us there. we did- and started getting our suits done tailored after the underdark and oshabara, he told us he'd work fast and we'd have to check back in tomorrow.

In the meantime we spent our time going around town and getting any info we could on the marriage and lord Ophellion, a drug addict told us he beat someone alive and then went to have a nice conversation while blood was still on his fist and that the body got dragged away via an invisible force. basically just heard a lot about an invisible body guard.

We asked some guards what they'd known about it as well and they gave us the minimal info that they had- (I don't remember specifics)

We then went to scope out the house that was having the party and made some form of plan with Gregory that he'd set the outside gate on fire and Blooper and Layani would escape through the garden.

Also we ended up getting poisonous drug mushrooms from the addict on the streets so we could poison Ophellion's drink.

Our suits were done the next day and the gnome tailor helped us get ready for the party and told us not to run in our suits because the fabric was cheap and would easily rip.

We ended up heading to the party and that's where the first session ended.

next session of this two parter:

we basically lied our way into the party, scoped it out- Blooper was the life of the party while Miles just averagely fit in. Blooper gossipped with all the other nobles and tried to get information out from them, which led to finding out that most of the people at this party were for Ophellion and that a lot of people had good things to say about him. other than a few where one of them told him that Ophellion ripped him off in a deal and when he spoke out about it- he was basically left for dead and that he was only here to "make up" for it. and that if this person wasn't like a noble- he'd probably be dead.

Another person was an older dwarf man, who told Blooper that Ophellion got into some beef with his son and he was just here to "make ammends" despite the dwarf's hatred towards Ophellion. He also told Blooper that Ophellion got into an accident when he was a kid where his entire face burned off via fire- but with modern medicine he has not a single trace of it on his face. Ophellion and Layani finally made their way down as Ophellion was a half drow, and Layani was a half elf- she has two younger brothers and her mom- the elf. is dead. anywho- Ophellion is apart of the royal bloodline and was very distantly related to them, also found out that "An angel protects the royal bloodline" and it was a surprise to hear anything spoken of a "guardian" for Opehllion BECAUSE he's so distantly related.

Anyway, those two come down and while coming down someone on the steps got shoved by a seemingly invisible force. Anyway- Layani and Ophellion did their little dance and then invited everyone else to dance as well, Blooper and Miles both got asked to dance- Blooper accepted and danced meanwhile, Miles declined and decided to explore the house. He went upstairs and was immediately stopped by someone telling him that they were trying to keep the party downstairs- did that stop him? no. Ignoring this person completely he found Mr Goodman's room and broke in, stealing some letters off his desk (which I could not read, because that's Miles's character flaw, however much later we ended up reading them) the letters basically said "thank you so much for this opportunity" and "we're so grateful" etc. leaving he almost got caught again but teleported away then went to explore the home a bit more. He found Layani's room next and not a lot stood out. Other than bloody bandages on the bed that looked to be from a headwound. not great.

the music started to die down so he made his way back but as he did, He saw a small cut on Layani's head from above- not nearly to the severity of the bloody bandages, but oh shit healing magic exists.

Blooper questioned where the fuck Miles went and after a few "doin ur mom" jokes from the man who is basically 40 (he's 381, I play him like a 40 yr old) Layani and Ophellion were chatting with guests, line for gifts started forming and it was go time to enact plan. Blooper presented an ice scupture of dragons to present and tried to lure Ophellion away from Layani- Miles did as well but neither attempts worked. Miles got on Ophellions suspion radar as he was the only one in underdark colors and he didn't invite anyone from the underdark. fun.

During the time Blooper spent talking with the guests who wanted to talk to Ophellion and Layani, Blooper basically hinted at some stuff in the "I'm here to rescue you" sense as Ophellion went out to the bathroom. Miles followed him there and tried locking him in and burning the stalls down, that went. horribly wrong. Ivisible guy bonked Miles in the head as Ophellion got out and saw this goingg down- was about to brawl but Ophellion fear of fire so that made him panic and he ran off as the only weapon Miles was able to sneak in was a dagger, so he was able to teleport away, heal himself, thornwhip the weapon out of the big guy's hands and then burn him- Ophellion spent most the fight cowering which Miles threw some flames at him which snapped him out of it, as now guards started getting alerted- all the while Blooper kinda got the gest of something being up and he got Layani to come with him as he tried to get his and Miles's stuff and leave. Layani had no clue what was goin on, as Blooper went outside and tried to distract some guards by shooting the signal for Gregory which worked as Gregory started setting fire to the gate, Miles got a bit beaten up but was able to leave by climbing the wall as everyones attention shifted towards both of the fires (outhouses and wall) we were able to get Layani free, safe and sound now with Gregory- but not without burning down her house by accident and committing treason and terrorism since a lot of nobles died at that party. (my bad) and now theres a 1,000 GD bounty on Miles' head. Also Layani confirmed all the terrible things about Ophellion and that the head wraps were indeed because of him and she gave Blooper an amulet that casts cure wounds once a long rest and that it was a gift from Ophellion incase he "went too far"

Also, she was going to be Ophellion's third wife.

Ophellion is unfortunately still alive as every cleric was on to helping him recover. surely this wont have any dire consequences. surely not.

That’s where I’ll leave this part at its end :)

Next part is right here:

[crystalelemental]

Okay, fine, maybe I'm a liar. I am going to waste my time on Gauntlet today. Tate Sweep.

General Overview As stated in his general breakdown, Tate excels at Gauntlet above and beyond his performance in CS. Tate carries with him a metric ton of tools that make him very useful in this mode, including the coveted paralysis, and great debuffs to attack and special defense. The ability to hit -1 attack every Pokemon move is particularly nice, removing the need for Charm more than once in the entire match. Fortuitous 9 can also be very useful for him in matches where he attacks a lot, while Hit and Heal is the best substitute in most cases due to his reasonable bulk. I realize that Tank Jirachi is very real, but also I feel like it's wildly inconsistent and didn't want to do it, so this is what you get instead.

The main problems Tate runs into are gauge, and accuracy of all things. While he can fix Thunder Wave's accuracy, the node to do it is absolutely atrociously placed, being far removed and expensive. This means accuracy buffs in other ways are appreciated. Enter Marlon, who is honestly a pretty solid partner in a lot of situations, thanks to mixed defense buffing and Stalwart/Unbending to blank Azelf. Seriously, Marlon is underestimated as a tank. But this comp does have gauge issues, and you can run into some really bad ones in situations where your partner isn't getting speed, and Tate doesn't feel like cooperating with the Doom Desire +2. Tech Gyarados is useful as a partner in Terrakion and Moltres' fight for the field effect and flinch rate, but the gauges are an abomination. Swapping in alternate supports like Marley work to manage the gauge, but result in a lot less defensive backbone. Any of these issues can, in theory, be remedied by Tate's own buffs, but due to the random application, it cannot be relied upon, and likely causes issues one way or another.

Still, I'm hoping that three duo clears and a relatively clean sweep with Marlon and some flinch bots proves Tate's utility. The kid is good.

Vs. Tapu Bulu MU Tauros as a support caps Tate's special attack, and gives some much-needed speed. The survival is low, but against physical stages like this, Tate's debuffing of attack works wildly in your favor.

Vs. Tornadus Unfortunately, specially offensive threats kinda blow past a lot of what Tate can do. Tornadus specifically is very annoying, because the paralysis bot acting as the damage dealer universally results in "oops, I Self Cleansed, looks like you dealt no damage." I hate this fight. It's not one of the hardest, but it is one of the most annoying, after Latias and Moltres.

Vs. Cobalion Very comparable to Tapu Bulu. There's basically nothing additional to state.

Vs. Terrakion Terrakion will be a very annoying Gauntlet fight, because so many teams feel like they rely hard on flinch. This does have the side-effect of making Gyarados a solid pick against it, as well as Winona, but you can't put them on every team. In my search for a defensive wall to bring, I came upon Marlon, who is immune to defensive debuffs, has Endure, buffs both defenses, and gets bulkier under Rain, all traits that Tate enjoys. "What about Lodge Adaman?" Well, now he has someone else to be inferior to. I will admit, Lodge Adaman hadn't crossed my mind, but the Pep Rally does likely synergize better with Tate's needs than Marlon does.

Vs. Azelf But Marlon remains superior here. Immune to defensive debuffs means you counter Azelf particularly hard. This is also where I'll mention the trick of Team Pinpoint Entry, which not only allows Thunder Wave to always hit, but in the final phase, offsets Azelf's sudden +1 evasion.

Vs. Uxie Literally any Trap bot will do, but I usually go Sandslash because it isn't wasting Screech, and the accuracy drops always sound nice, even though they literally never work. It hit every attack. Thankfully, this is another fight that Tate just bodies, thanks to the debuffing of attack and paralysis access.

Vs. Latias Tate's ability to debuff attack and special defense is exceptionally good here. It prevents Sure Crit Earthquake from just deleting him, while maximizing his damage output. Sync is enough to blow away the sides, but honestly even the DPS gets through. Team Pinpoint Entry once again offsets evasion buffs, making it easier to manage later phases. Marlon is also superior here because of Rock Tomb, getting a bit more debuffing in so Tate can really hammer in the damage.

Vs. Regirock This was probably the toughest fight for Tate, due to its immunity to attack debuffs. Moreover, Regirock has Crit Shield, which is never great, and there's a particular gimmick in Tate's Doom Desire that carries both really good and really bad outcomes. The really bad one is that, if the first hit knocks a foe under half HP, they will queue up a move before Doom Desire kicks in, which can really disrupt some things. The good one is that, if the Doom Desire will knock them under a threshold? Tate both gets the -1 sync cooldown for an action and can queue a move while Doom Desire's animation is playing. This is absolutely fantastic for setting up situations where you can just immediately sync nuke away an HP bar, because the Doom Desire will always ensure you have access before the foe can respond.

Vs. Entei Nothing new.

Vs. Moltres This is where I should've run Adaman. Pep Rally actually would handle a lot of gauge issues, while Protect is super useful against the final phase under Sun. But, I brought Marley, who is...frankly better, since all Tate needs is speed, and to blank the first two bars of Sun. Once it's down once, you can get all your needed debuffs in, while you want it in bar 2 just to avoid burn. You can deal with bar 3 Heat Wave fine. It's just...very difficult to manage his gauge needs around Gyarados without Speed. Marlon very could not manage.

[noirineverysense]

I posted 1,160 times in 2022

That's 708 more posts than 2021!

180 posts created (16%)

980 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@winedark-whump

@noirineverysense

@for-the-love-of-angst

@straight-to-the-pain

@painful-pooch

I tagged 995 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#acp - 60 posts

#reblog - 25 posts

#352 is a good boy - 22 posts

#thanks for the ask!! - 21 posts

#351 not so much - 21 posts

#🥺🥺🥺 - 16 posts

#bbu - 16 posts

#whumpmasinjuly - 15 posts

#pet whump - 15 posts

#febuwhump2022 - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#'whose pain is normalized as acceptable and ultimately invisibilized versus whose pain is considered extraordinary or spectacle' yes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It was the little things, really, that she hated. He tortured her of course, but what she really couldn't take was the way he stretched after, like he had done anything strenuous. The way he ate in front of her, not the fact that he did, but instead how his mouth made stupidly loud noises and exaggerated shapes just from eating a sandwich. She hated how he grinned, teeth crooked and lips cracked. It's strange, she'd always found a crooked smile charming, now she just wants to break his jaw.

He would leave her and it felt like a breath of sorely missed fresh air, but then she would hear his heavy footsteps above her. She would hear the occasional laugh or heavy sigh and she would imagine suffocating him until he couldn't do either. She could even hear his bed creak when he settled in for the night, groaning loud under his weight. She would sleep too, except he had alarms set randomly throughout the night. She doesn't know if it's specifically designed to keep her up or if he just doesn't know about the incessant noise that mixed with his grunting snores. Because of course he wouldn't wake up to them. No, he would wake up at around 10 am the next day and he would walk down the steps to start the day with a new torture device to try out. He promised a bat tomorrow, to break her kneecaps.

She would break every bone in his body if she could, all 206, then go back to break them all again.

She hated him and the only thing keeping her going was her burning, festering spite.

28 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#4

More robot whumpee!

Febuwhump day 16 - "Does it hurt?"

@dragyouthroughthewhump

Part 1 Part 2

“Does it hurt?”

Whumpee lets out a scream as the tool prods around their chest, their heart had been replaced by a battery, but there were still various vessels and organs that still felt the cool metal jabbing into them.

“Yes, Yes! Please it’s too much! Stop, no!”

Whumper frowned, putting his screwdriver back into his lab coat pocket.

“Well, it shouldn’t. Pain is useless to a robot like yourself. I thought I had removed all of your pain receptors by now.

Whumpee sobs from where they were, on a table that was starting to fill with deep red blood. If they were still completely human, they probably would have died by now.

--

“Does it hurt?”

“Please, please stop.”

“But does it hurt?”

The android’s eyes fill with dark, oily liquid, a cheap imitation of the teary eyes of a human.

“N-No. No it doesn’t.”

“And do you know why?”

“Because I-I’m a robot. I don’t feel pain because it’s not useful to the ones I serve.”

The robot gets a pat on the head. It doesn’t feel that either.

--

“Does it hurt?”

There’s silence. The machine continues to whir, the robot’s lets out a beep as it emptied out some trash before continuing its various cleaning tasks.

Whumper sighs before taking a break on his office chair, watching his robot work with efficiency and without making silly human errors.

Once it had done all its selected tasks, it powered down, it’s glowing eyes now dull. The whirring now silenced. But if you looked closely, you could make out the frozen expression of horror and despair.

36 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

#3

@febuwhump alt 2 - trapped under a collapsed building

He holds it still, strong and steady. The large piece of rubble ready to collapse and kill them all, he keeps it in the air, above them.

His team huddle by his feet. The youngest, closest to him, looks up at him, watching, with fear and adoration dancing in their eyes.

The techie is trying to establish communications, to call for help. She keeps yelling into a small box, hoping for a sign that someone is listening, that someone is coming for them. She doesn’t look up at him, not once. He only ever sees the top of her covered head. She somehow knows that he’s not going to let it drop on her, on any of them.

He locks eyes on his second-in-command whose foot was trapped under rubble. He twists his body to hold on to the youngest, hugging them tight and using his body as a shield if the rubble were to come down. He knew that their leader wasn’t superhuman, just a man with muscles that could tire even if his will didn’t break.

His arms start to shake with the strain, his muscles twitching and aching. The enormous weight he carries on his shoulders and neck, threatens to crush him at any second. He feels his legs start to bend and give out. With a groan he straightens them anyway.

The tech’s voice gets louder still, disturbing some small parts of rubble and dust. She was getting a response finally as she gave their location and other details. The words fall out of her mouth at an accelerated rate until it stops suddenly. After a pause, she looks up at him finally, eyes wide with fear and flinching when some pebbles dropped beside her.

“They said two hours.”

He winces as his second-in-command groans out. The youngest lets out a whimper and holds the other man tighter.

The tech gasps suddenly when parts of the large piece break off beside her. She gets ushered closer to them as tears slip out of her eyes.

He can’t find his voice so he mouths at her instead.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m not gonna let it drop, alright? You’re safe, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

She nods before huddling with the other two. The leader lets out a small strained sound as he holds the rubble further from their heads.

The second-in-command looks up, eyes creased with worry. “I wish I could help you.” He says simply. He tries to pull his leg out but only lets out a moan in pain for his efforts. The two beside him hold him tighter.

“It’s okay. I’ve got this.”

He has got this. He can hold this piece of rock up. For 2 hours. 120 minutes. 7200 seconds.

Every painful second dragged longer than it felt like it should. His arms were bent and locked in place, his fingers were splayed and numb, he couldn’t feel the roughness of the stone anymore. He couldn’t feel his legs. The only sensation was a throbbing pain, emanating deep in him and an ache in his bones that begged his mind to let them rest.

He feels his arms start to give so he looks back at his, huddled and scared and strength surges through him again. He’s not going to let them down. He promised them he’s going to keep this thing up. So he will.

The minutes tick by in silence, his left arm starts to weaken and the large rubble begins to slide down from the left before he catches it again, just above the tech’s head. He gives a hoarse apology before continuing his duty.

He guesses it’s been about thirty minutes since his tech had made a call and nods to her. She gets the signal and tries to make contact again. It’s a few scary moments of just static before a voice crackles out of the small device.

“We’ll be with you shortly, hold on.”

“How long?” the tech asks tersely.

His sore muscles tense during some muttering before an answer.

Please don’t be longer.

“About 30-40 minutes. Please hold on until then.”

He sighs in relief, that’s less time than he expected. He has no excuse not to hold the rock up until then.

His body aches in protest. He has no idea how he can hold it up for another thirty minutes, likely more. He doesn’t have a choice. He tries to adjust his grip but the position ends up being even more painful and he lets out a hiss.

The team look up at him for a moment, he gives a single nod.

I’m fine. I have to be.

Every minute seemed to drag on for eternity. He lets out a growl and shifts to hold the slipping piece of rock. Exhaustion starts to weigh in him, his shoulders, arms, back and neck screaming at him to let go. He can’t. He licks his dry lips and tries to blink away the black dots in his vision.

See the full post

46 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#2

You are 100% correct that there is a lack of POC representation in the whump community on Tumblr. However, part of the reason for this is because when white content creators try to interact with characters that are POC, they are often told that they shouldn't. That they shouldn't try to write for POC or even draw fanart of them etc. etc. because they aren't a part of that character's culture and shouldn't be trying to represent it.

So unfortunately, its a double-edged sword. Content creators are told to stick with what they know, so they do.

Also, quite frankly, can you imagine the uproar if a white person created a POC whumpee? If they created an OC who was black, and then proceeded to just have the OC treated awfully, tortured, kept as a slave (like any other whumpee OC that's ever been created.) I just don't see that going over well.

So unfortunately, the creation of content for POC characters is going to have to be done by POC content creators. There is really no way around that.

Anon i couldnt disagree more

Okay firstly POC arent a monolith, we're like the majority of people on earth so some might disagree with me and thats fine. But personally and to the other POC i've talked to, we want to be represented! We didnt come to whumpblr to be forced to relate to white people experiences. I'd happily say the majority of poc do want white people to write us bc like youre the majority here. And specifically in whump, if poc didnt like whump about us, we wouldnt be here. We're not here for white people, we're here for oursleves. We like whump, we here bc we like torture or comfort or pet whump or whatever. We're not here for white people to take inspiration from our irl suffering and use it for their white characters while we cheer them on.

Also like white people have written and drawn characters/whumpees that arent white lol, and there hasnt been that uproar. Also what uproar, there arent that many of us, are white people going to attack you? Why do you care about their opinions on poc? I think this idea of white people being under attack if they write poc is overblown and makes no sense.

Imo stick to what you know is dumb, like most of us dont know what its like to be tortured, yet we're all willing to do often intensive research. Yet we won't put that same energy into characters of colour?

Theres definitely nuance, I would be uncomfortable with a black character as a domestic pet for a white character that was written by a white person for example. Depends on how the writer handles it, but yeah theres nuance but that doesnt mean no poc ever can be written by white people. Like is research into anti racism and culture/stereotypes necessary, yes. But only poc writing characters of colour or #own voices, means our stories barely if ever get written. It leads to spaces that structurally white without any white person even doing the basics of trying to include poc. Also not every poc has a culture massively different to white people.

Like ofc poc writing poc is the goal, but to get there we need to make an inclusive space and that involves white people writing poc, sorry its true.

76 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Whumpblr ask game - opinions

1. What do you like about whumpblr? What do you dislike about it?

2. Who's your favourite OC?

3. Favourite trope?

4. Do you prefer romance or platonic relationships in writing?

5. What do you think draws people to your stories?

6. What do you like about writing on tumblr?

7. What don't you like about writing on tumblr?

8. What do you like about whump?

9. Any unpopular opinions on tropes or whump in general?

10. What made you want to write your wips?

80 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[igigix]

Black Heart

Chapter 10: He Knows

- Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You -

-> 18+ readers only!

-> English is not my native language, so bear with me because there will probably be some grammatical mistakes.

Summary: Rio, a dangerous, ruthless gangster, stumbles your path.

Rating: Mature, Explicit.

Warnings: Mentions of rape and assault.

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Yo! Yo! It’s been a long time, lol. I've really missed writing. Let’s see how our two idiot are doing. Enjoy the new chapter because there will be a lot of development in the following one. Reblogs and feedback are very welcome. 

"Stop. You don't have to do this." 

"Do what, sweetheart? I've done a lot of things that are out of character for me since I've met you, so be specific, yeah?”

It was getting late. Rio has yet to appear, and despite your best efforts, you find yourself disappointed. You began to genuinely grow attached to him, which was very dangerous for many reasons. So you focused on your job to distract yourself from him. You were able to progress in your work since your sister brought you your computer. Lucy came to see you after Bonnie and Sarah left. She wanted to check up on you. She was worried about you, especially when she heard about the attack. She didn't know the full extent of what had occurred, and you wanted to keep it that way. Dorothy also visited you. She was always nice and caring. You're grateful to them. Everyone has been extremely kind and supportive. 

You turn off your Mac and lie down on the bed. You are left alone with your thoughts and emotions. Although you are surrounded, you still feel alone. You seem to be swallowed whole by the pain as it overtakes you. Why? What caused that shift in your life? Now you're lying to your loved ones, hiding your criminal activities from them. Your actions caused your best friend harm. You accused Beth, but deep down, you know it's you're fault. The past came to strike you with full force after you provoked it. Your blood courses through your veins and brings your heart to a rapid beat. It's your fault. Your breath comes in short, shallow spurts. 

You're feeling dizzy. You try to relax by focusing on the ceiling while trying to block everything from your memories. You see him. 

"For a little privacy. You know, just like the old days.”

 Everything around you becomes hazy as his image jolts through your mind. You feel a burning sensation overwhelm your body as the emotion of guilt engulfs you. You feel dirty. You're safe; everything will be alright, you tell yourself. To prevent your seizures, the nurse handed you your meds. You're fine, you repeat over and over again. You squeeze your eyes shut as if that will make it stop. It doesn't. Your mind is throwing itself into a vicious cycle of self-blame. Not only did you let everyone down, but you failed yourself. No wonder why Beth and the girls don't care about you. They only use you as a pawn to make fake money. Same for Rio.

You have feelings for someone who only sees you as a tool. Your brain keeps replaying Beth's harsh words. "What do you think will happen when he learns about your health problem because believe me, he will. I'll tell you; you'll instantly become a burden to him." You're falling apart, and you feel very, very scared. You want it all to stop. You want it to disappear. He'll either toss you or, perhaps worse, kill you. He's capable of it. The weight of it hits you all at once. 

He could kill you, and stupidly, your heart yearns for him. You need to put some distance between you and him. You can't let yourself fall for him anymore, no matter how charming he is. He's not a good man, and you're not worthy of love. You don't feel dirty. You are dirty. Filthy. Regardless of how much you scrubbed yourself, that sensation persisted. You knew that part of you that you couldn't get rid of. You thought you had moved on, but it came back to haunt you even more strongly than before. You feel that state of confusion and fear again. 

— — — —

Rio strolls down the sidewalks in front of the hospital where you are staying. He was so livid that he opted to walk rather than drive. His hands are tucked up in his pockets, and a blue hoodie covers his head. His lips are pursed, and his scowl is evident. All he thinks about is you, that piece of shit, and the seething desperation boiling in his chest. He is driven by the desire to beat and destroy everyone and everything that could hurt you. Rage bubbles inside him. He can hardly contain it. He could go ballistic at any moment, like a lit fuse on a burning bomb. But instead, he strides on; his pace is deliberate and controlled. He wants to be level-headed. He needs to think about this properly. He didn't want to frighten you. He didn't want to lose control. He needs to restrain his temper for you. He needs to do this for you. 

He pauses when he's right in front of the entrance to the hospital. He was determined to see you regardless of visiting hours; nothing or no one would stand in his way. He never knew he could feel this way. He was ready to do whatever it took to be close to you. He needed you like a heart needs a beat. He didn't know where this devotion came from, but he was experiencing it. It was strange and foreign--He was beginning to allow himself to care for someone other than his son Marcus. Elizabeth misled him when he thought they had a connection. He vowed to remain cautious after she betrayed him. 

Could he trust you, though? He didn't know yet. But he would give it his all, and the rest would figure itself out. You were someone worth fighting for. You were unique and special. He was enthralled. The moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew you were more than meets the eye. Something in you called out to him. He was utterly mistaken in his assumption that Elizabeth did all the heavy lifting. You were the actual talent, the real deal. You were too innocent and too beautiful for your own good. 

Rio enters the automatic doors, and the melancholy mood of the hospital seeps into his bones. He navigates through the empty halls. It's very late, and there aren't many people around. He takes the elevator to the fourth floor and wanders to your room. The corridors are silent, and there aren't any staff members around. He approaches your chamber and stops where one of his men, Kofi, had been positioned to watch over you. From now on, You won't ever again be exposed or defenseless. No matter what. He will protect you at all costs. Kofi steps aside as Rio enters after opening the door, his eyes immediately catching yours. Your eyes are tired and a little red. You're not asleep. You have a pensive and troubled look on your face. He stands beside the bed and tentatively reaches out to touch you. His fingers skimmed the plane of your cheek. His fingers brush your skin and send a shiver down your spine. 

Head encircled with a scarf; You wore silk nightgowns. You feel the urge to close your eyes and lean into his touch. You want to know what's behind his ruthless, intimidating facade. He forces himself to stay still. You are vulnerable right now. He doesn't want to take advantage of your helpless state. Your gaze is drawn to his wounded hands.

"Oh my god, what happened?" You ask. You pull his hand and focus your attention on it. "Are you alright?" you ask him. His expression hardens, and he frowns. The tips of his fingers are stained with blood, while his knuckles are swollen and bruised. You're in a fucking hospital bed because you were assaulted, yet you're worried about his hands? The bastard ambushed you, and you're asking him if he's alright? Rio stays silent. "Why won't you answer me?" You say. His hooded gaze flicks at you before it is glued to your face again. "Please," you beg, "answer me." 

You're honestly intrigued. Whatever it was, he had been in a dangerous place. You can feel it. Your mind is preoccupied with anything else than simple curiosity. Fear. The recognition causes you to jerk within. No. You could care less. You want to stop caring. You wish to despise him. You need to despise him. The biggest act of treason your heart can do will be to care for a man who will never love you.

"I'm good, sweetheart." He replies, his voice soft. He leans over you and kisses your forehead. It takes every ounce of his self-control to pull away. He pulls the chair near your bed and sits, holding your hand.

The tension in his shoulders melts away when you tangle your fingers through his. He is still fuming with fury, but you make him feel calm again.

"Tell me you trust me, yeah?" He murmurs. 

"You've given me every opportunity not to," you state. "How can I trust you?" 

"Because I need you to." He replies, clutching harder to your hand.

You bite your lip and look at his hands. "Then tell me what really happened." You whisper.

"I know." 

"You know?" Not understanding you at first, you keep quiet. Still absorbing his words. A few moments later, you realize that he knows that you were assaulted. Deep shame tinges your skin at the thought. 

You attempt to remove your hand, but he firmly holds you. You turn your head away in humiliation. He knows you're dirty. 

"No, you don't. Nothing happened to me." You lie. The truth will disgust him, and you know it. 

"Eyes on me, mama, when you're talking." You hear him growl.

You try to pull away, but he has a tight grip on your hand. The silky pad of his thumb caresses your palm. He is trying to make you feel comfortable. Your body responds to his touch. You don't know how to process that. The display of affection makes you want to cry. You never expected to be treated like this. Your heart yearns for him, and your mind revolts at the idea. He gently takes your chin, tilting your face to meet his gaze. 

"Eyes on me, yeah?"

───────── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ──────────

<- Previous chapter: Between Two Points 

-> Next chapter: My Tears Are Becoming a Sea

- Black Heart Masterlist -

- Masterlist -

- Taglist -

@mayansxlover @doloreschanal @Niya-001

@rio-lover @lovesanimals0000 @hinatasfleshlight @avidreader3107 @rex-the-dino @bugngiz @cocopuffs0211 @mrsmontanalol @Thebluefish @littlebvbie @est1887 @rio-reid-whoreee​ @sexicherri3

[loguetowns]

dare first, truth second

eustass kid x reader

the truth slips out when you accept kid’s challenge

1.3k words

a/n: i'm so done working on this so please consider this my poor attempt at building sexual tension (100% sfw tho, so don’t worry!)

"just so you know," you huff. "you're wrong."

kid pushes his goggles up. he stares at you, standing at the edge of his work table with your arms crossed and your expression teeming with venom. displeasure is written all over your face, and you look at him as if you can barely stand to be in the same room as him.

can you believe that kid still thinks you look sexy as hell?

unbeknownst to you, he smirks at his own admission, and the act only irritates you further. you click your tongue.

"you think i'm wrong about a lot of things," kid puts his tools down and spins his stool around to face you. "so you're going to have to be a bit more specific, sweetheart."

you hate it when he uses that nickname and he knows it. it's sugar-coated, condescending, and worst of all, it makes you blush and feel certain things that you do not want to be feeling.

you clear your throat, "about yesterday. you're wrong."

ah. kid remembers how last night's conversation agitated you, and how you protested, contested, violently rejected his theory. and yet, he's still convinced that he's right; the denial is all in your head.

he leans back against his work bench, elbows resting on the counter as he looks you up and down. he’s not even trying to be subtle in the way he studies you. you squirm under his gaze because it always feels like he sees right through you when he looks at you like that. with his scarlet eyes, fiery and compelling, it takes everything in you not to get pulled in.

"so," kid finally says. there is so much weight in the word and you brace yourself for whatever bullshit he's going to say next.

"you still don't think you have a crush on me?"

to say it was a heated argument last night would be an understatement. the memory of kid's smug face has your blood boiling; the audacity of him to suggest that you feel anything other than sheer annoyance. the way your heart rate doubles when he’s around, how your cheeks heat up and you get all worked up — if that's not hate then what could it be?

"why would i have a crush on you?" you scoff.

"oh, man,” he grins. “there are so many reasons why."

in the split second before kid opens his mouth again, you see exactly where he’s about to go.

"wait, you're not actually gonna-"

he speaks over you, cutting off any chance for you to protest. "first of all, i'm insanely strong and talented and smart-”

you roll your eyes, but kid pays no mind.

“-not to mention that i am one of the supernovas-”

“big deal, so is killer.”

“-and arguably the most attractive one.”

you snort. some absolute airhead might be absurd enough to interpret kid’s arrogant attitude as an actual, attractive attribute, but not you.

there is nothing attractive about the way he grins devilishly, his stained lips upturned in a way that makes him look even more boyish. the way that his fangs dig into his lips every time he smirks is infuriating at best — not charming — and your heart is definitely not fluttering when he leans in close to say,

“oh? so you aren’t even attracted to me?”

you falter when he meets your gaze, his eyes taunting and coloured with desire.

kid wants you - that much is obvious. he’s wanted you since he first laid eyes on you, and he’s made it clear with all of his flirting, innuendos and suggestive little comments that he’s determined to win you over.

because eustass kid always gets what he wants.

and when he rises to his feet, deliberately approaching you like a lion stalking his prey, he has a feeling that he’s about to get what he wants.

“that’s right,” you say, but it comes out a little quieter and a little less forceful than you would’ve liked.

he smiles. kid can sense the shift in your body language; your breathing falls in line with his own, the tension in your shoulders eases, and your eyes start to betray you. they darken as he pushes his limits and moves even closer to you.

you hold your breath when kid stops in front of you.

“then prove it,” he says.

“kiss me.”

your heart stops. he can’t be serious.

oh, but he is.

“kiss me and prove me wrong,” kid insists. “if you feel zero attraction for me, then it’s no big deal, right?”

kid has to make a conscious effort not to laugh at his own genius. he’s got you cornered — not kissing him only confirms that he’s right and kissing him means that he finally lets a taste of what he’s been chasing all this time.

you’re caught in a checkmate and you know it. the only way out of this is to kiss him, or he’ll never stop teasing you.

but it’ll be fine, right? it’s not like you actually like him. if you think of this as nothing more than a physical interaction that shuts him up permanently, it really is no big deal. you’re both adults; it’ll be fine.

as long as you can get your heart to stop racing.

“fine,” you say as nonchalantly as you can. “i’ll kiss you.”

the gleeful grin that stretches across kid’s face makes you want to slap him. he chuckles — a low sound that resonates deep within his chest.

“perfect.”

it’s like a spell falls unto his workspace and every part of you becomes hyper aware of kid. he’s not even touching you but your skin feels hot and prickly. he smells like iron and salt air, and his eyes flicker with fire.

kid watches you struggle to stay composed when he inches closer and closer to you. your gaze flicker to his lips and something carnal grows inside him at the way you’re looking at him.

when he’s but a breath away from you, he pauses. 

the truth is, as much as he’s enjoying the thrill of finally getting what he wants, there is a part of him that knows how real this is. his feelings for you are deeper and truer than what he makes them out to be — maybe even more than he realizes.

you’re not really sure when you closed your eyes, or how long you waited until he finally kissed you, but when he does, any remaining fight left in you dissipates.

in contrast to his rough personality, his lips are soft — oh-so, so, so soft. and where you expected to get burnt by fire, you are instead met with a warm glow that courses through your veins. you’re unsure if it started from his lips or from his hands that are now gripping your waist, but it doesn’t even matter anymore.

you want more.

more, is what you think as your fingertips tug at his hair and pull him even closer. more, is what he thinks as his hands roam your body and he swallows every sweet moan of yours. more, and more, and more as your lips make up for lost time. 

kid nearly keens at the feeling of your nails against his back. how you gasp when he grabs you is intoxicating. he’s hot all over, and hunger grows every time your lips part to invite him in.

but there is one thing he needs to do before he accepts the invitation.

it takes every ounce of self-control for kid to pull away instead of devouring you right then and there, and the way you whimper leaves him weak in the knees. you look at him, breathless with eyes blown wide and lips so beautifully, wonderfully puckered.

“so,” the single syllable is heavy with lust, and kid’s eyes are dark but triumphant. 

“you still don’t think you have a crush on me?”

you growl, out of both annoyance and arousal, and kid smirks when you say,

“just shut up and kiss me again.”

and he does, over and over again.

[something-in-the-seas]

I kind of love Ethan's reaction to the RE8 villains. They're terrifying and he's just like, "Fuck you, I'm getting my daughter back." Ethan cannot be stopped

I think Ethan’s intelligence specifically shines with his interactions with Heisenberg, and since Capcom really wants him to be a stand in for players, his reactions are telling. It would be the easiest choice to align with Heisenberg. He seems charming (emphasis on seems because he’s still very aggressive towards Ethan), the most human of the lot, but Ethan is suspicious and snappy the whole way through their conversation. Rose being used as a weapon is believed to be the breaking point, but Ethan would have never sided with him.

Most players wanted to align with Heisenberg, but Ethan knew he was a monster who would betray him in the end. Conveyor belt of thousands of bodies, the experimentations, Heisenberg declaring himself a freedom fighter clearly styled on figures such as Che Guevara but, like, literally everything about him being so disturbing proves to the player that Ethan is right.

Ethan knows that if Heisenberg kills Mother Miranda, he’d have a super weapon in Rose, and god knows what he’d do. His ‘freedom fighter’ persona is clearly a front for something very insidious and once he’d get power he’d drop that real quick. You’re not making thousands upon thousands of soldiers like that to stop one person, neither are you wanting to use a baby as a super weapon. He probably would have gone full Wesker if they teamed up and he won.

Ethan knows he’s a tool to him and nothing more, and it’s even before some of the players realize this.

[notophelia]

Vax, the Briarwoods, and things both lost and gained in adaptation

[Spoilers for The Legend of Vox Machina episode 3 "The Feast of Realms" and also for Campaign 1 episodes 24 "The Feast” and 25 "Crimson Diplomacy," as well as a minor allusion to events later in the arc.]

In the midst of half the internet (quite understandably) losing the entirety of their shit over the hotness of the Briarwoods, and specifically of the Briarwoods toying with Vax (and Matt cheerfully assuring Mica during the watch party that the horny implications are "VERY intentional"), I've been utterly fascinated by that moment as a microcosm of how beautifully this whole adaptation thing is working.

As at least one post has pointed out, it's a very different experience from the first time around, not only because of the streamlining/tweaking of various plot details, but because it's a dizzyingly fast chain of events as opposed to a solid 40 minutes (not counting a WEEK in the midst of it, because cliffhanger) of mounting stress between paralysis and healing.

And that's true, and a function of the tools building the story making things read a bit differently, but there's also the factor of audience knowledge and expectation.

When we're watching them at the table, the game mechanics are always there. One of the key ways Matt facilitates immersion is by describing magic effects as perceived by the characters instead of naming them - for instance, telling Liam what Vax feels when his body is paralyzed without saying "Hold Person," and even giving him the cue of feeling something trying to penetrate his mind when he succeeds on the WIS save and isn't affected... which then leads to the hilariously bad attempt at pretending to have been affected.

Which, not gonna lie, I kinda missed in the TLOVM version. But it wouldn't really  have worked, and the way it does play out (a) is fucking terrifying, and (b) sets up the challenge they're about to be facing in a completely different, but equally effective, way.

The tools at Matt's disposal for the workings of Sylas' power in-game were clearly delineated: Hold, Charm, Suggestion, Dominate. He could keep a certain amount of mystery about what he was rolling behind that screen, and with things like making us wonder exactly what he intended to do to Vax's mind if Liam hadn't made that save. But it's the nature of the game for the mechanics to show.

In the animated series, though, things have space be... murkier. And they take full advantage of that - we see Vax struggling, and clearly he can't move, but we don't know if that's all of it.  Especially when it involves the same eye-glow visual effect established a few minutes before, when Sylas was very definitely manipulating Uriel's mind. Add in the way Vax's physical reaction (as noted by half the internet including Mica Burton) can be interpreted in more ways than just fear, and Sylas taking a moment to play with his food with that jaw-trace before the big chomp, and things get very murky indeed.

At this point, by the classic conventions of vampire media, Vax is presumed compromised. If I were coming to the show cold, with no prior knowledge of Critical Role or even of D&D, I would expect/hope to see increased vulnerability to Sylas' influence, probably being used against the group, drawing on the love of his sister and friends to resist and ultimately prevail. (And, as a side note, would think it was a nice little trope inversion to put him in that position instead of, say, Keyleth.)

Funny thing is... I do have that prior knowledge, and I still instinctively have those thoughts about it. Not only that, but I can see certain events as they played out in-game reading as exactly what I just described above.  It'll be interesting to see if they do!

(Also of note: All these people are children of the 70s and 80s whose formative vampire media experiences mirror my own. They know damn well this is what they’re doing. :-D)

[jesuis-melodrama]

LadyNoir Inequality: Chat Noir’s Fall from Significance

How does Ladybug and Chat Noir's roles differ between the seasons? How was responsibility, positions, duties delegated between them? This essay analyses in detail how the LadyNoir fallout of Season 4 came to be, and how Chat Noir ultimately fell from hierarchal significance.

What attracted me to Miraculous, apart from the stellar animation and the potential of the in-universe powers, was the dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir. Like the camaraderie of the Phantom Thieves in Persona 5, the partnership between Ruby and Clancy in Ruby Redfort and the hierarchy of respect and power between the Hashira of Demon-Slayer, Marinette and Adrien interested me, because they are two very dissimilar people on separate standings who mutually trusts, supports, and depends on one another despite being different in almost every single way. Their powers, although complimenting, are not comparable, and their personalities, although cordial, are inverse. But despite these odds, Ladybug and Chat Noir are not just friends, companions, and confidants, but equals.

 The first episode of the series, The Bubbler, demonstrates this splendidly (Author’s Note: The Bubbler is the first episode available on Netflix. Chronologically, Stormy Weather is the first official episode, but the same values hold up). It was a jarring introduction to a new show. The audience has no idea who Adrien and Marinette were, what Tikki and Plagg were or why these magical girl transformations suddenly granted them the powers to fight the maniacal butterfly man, but we can recognise the symptoms of two people already deep into the composition of their friendship. The Bubbler threw the smoothness and effectiveness of their teamwork directly into the faces of the audience, and it was brilliant.  

We weren’t weighed down by the gritty details of the beginning, we don’t have to watch the awkward bumbling, the introductions or the unsurety of two strangers who have yet enough reason to trust one another. We were immediately thrusted into the middle of their partnership. The first thing Chat Noir did when he stepped onto the scene was to defend Ladybug and the first thing she did was to joke around comfortably, clearly relieved that he had finally arrived. After watching Marinette obsessively creep around Adrien’s house, trying to show love to a boy she barely knows, and watching Adrien uncomfortably trying to enjoy a social event which he desperatedly wanted but is clearly inexperienced in, the sudden switch of persona and their sudden familiarity and reliance on one another was a fresh breath of air and it made Miraculous a show worth investing in.

We may not know what happened between them, how they received their powers and how they know each other, but it is obvious some catalytic event has tied Ladybug and Chat Noir together. And by all the features exhibited (another great thing, the words spoken were only secondary to the demonstrative body language) the audience was immediately aware that they have stepped into something sacred, something unbreakable. And even with the thick wall of secret and unspeakable identities between them, we feel comforted when we see them together, because they are comfortable and happy with one another.

So, fourteen monster-of-the-day episodes later, when Season 1 presented the first inklings of Miraculous’ overarching plot, watching Marinette and Adrien receive their Miraculous, meet each other as civilians and then as superheroes, the scene is nostalgic and sentimental, and aided by the fantastic animation, the audience can appreciate and remember the defining passage as an evocative and triggering moment for years afterwards.

But that is not to say their partnership hasn’t been without fault.

The cracks were always present, but as the seasons rolled on, it only became more obvious. Their roles were disparate. Ladybug comes up with the plans, Ladybug comes up with the solutions and more often than not, Chat Noir is used as a tool and a distraction for Ladybug’s success. Ladybug had the Lucky Charm and the Miraculous Cure. Chat Noir can stand on his own, defend and attack as an individual, but apart from using the Cataclysm as Ladybug directs, Chat Noir has no outstanding impact on the defeat of any akuma. He does not contribute to any tactics, and he cannot win without Ladybug because he has nothing to offer strategically.  

Assets aside, there is also the matter of leadership.

The audience finds out that Chat Noir initially took the frontman role in The Origins. He attacked Stoneheart first while Ladybug dithered behind. But as Ladybug regained confidence, she took the leadership position in both episodes, and Chat Noir was more than happy to follow. Thus, their dynamic was laid down. They both showed satisfaction with their place in the relationship, Chat Noir often yielding to her judgement, such as in Stormy Weather and Dark Cupid, and Ladybug asserts that Chat Noir was in her team in Antibug.

The first big indicator of disagreement in this mutually agreed arrangement was in Syren. A contentious episode, the consequence of Chat Noir physically rebelling against Ladybug’s decision for the first time. All the way to Season 4, Rena Rogue has stirred conflict and mistrust between the duo. When I watched Ladybug leading Rena Rogue away while Chat Noir stared angrily at their retreating backs, I remembered hoping that the episode would end with Ladybug telling Chat Noir everything, so that they could have their Season 1 relationship back. Where they navigated this confusing and alien new world together, hiding so much from the public and each other, but never their authenticity and belief in one another.  

I wished that Ladybug had told Chat Noir about the Guardian. I wished that both of them had been privy to the information from the very beginning and I wished that both of them knew who the other Miraculous Holders were because they chose them together. Realistically, someone in the show should’ve connected the dots, and realised that most of the Miraculous Holders were attending a specific class in Collège Françoise Dupont and were all associated with a specific person. That was the only reason I could think of why having Ladybug and Chat Noir choosing the Holders together is a bad idea. It would threaten their identity (which at that point, was still a concern).

But canonically, Ladybug constantly chose Holders who were dangerously close to the situation. Kagami in Ikari Gozen, Chloé in Malediktator, Rose in Guiltrip and Max in Startrain. The only Holder Chat Noir has chosen wasn’t even chosen by his particular identity. Adrien suggested that Luka might be a good Snake, and Ladybug heeded his words, not Chat Noir’s. I wished there was a single scene where Ladybug and Chat Noir analysed the situation and the potential Holder together, looked at each other, no words needed to be said, just a nod and a telepathic agreement shared through their eyes, and Ladybug would present the next Holder with a Miraculous with her and her partner’s approval both given.

What was the point of keeping their identities hidden?

In Season 1, it made some sense. They had no idea the Guardian existed. Even if Chat Noir was reluctant, they can both agree that they could not take their chances, should one of them be captured. But with the reveal of the Guardian’s identity in Season 2, the need for secret identities is almost eradicated. Clearly, there is someone who is an even bigger threat to their civilian lives than Ladybug and Chat Noir are to each other. Ladybug is now burdened with a bigger cache of knowledge. Should one of them be captured, it can only be hoped that it would be Chat Noir, because unlike Ladybug, he could not spew information about potions and kwami and secret books and the Guardian’s location.

In Season 3, the climax of Miracle Queen places the duties of the Guardian directly in Ladybug’s hand. She is now in charge of all the heroes in Paris, she is now the leading physical and strategic force in the battle against Hawk Moth and she is now officially stated as Leader, not just holding a de facto position.

In Season 4, the need for secret identities is gone. Ladybug is the Guardian. She and her original partner, Chat Noir, has no more safety nets in keeping their identities hidden from each other because there is no longer a background link tying them. Should Marinette be incapacitated, should Adrien meet an accident, there is no one reading their news who is available to inform the other person. The only reason why Chat Noir’s identity continues to be hidden from Ladybug is because she does not want to know. The only reason why Ladybug does not reveal her identity to Chat Noir is because she does not want him to know.

Chat Blanc could be inserted as a contending factor. Chat Blanc saw to it that the reveal of their identities to one another could lead the end of the world.

But Chat Blanc was not the only factor.

Season 4 Marinette is overwhelmed and stressed and guilt-ridden. Season 4 Marinette tore herself apart trying to maintain the kwami, her Guardian duties and continue moonlighting as Ladybug. Season 4 Marinette was at the end of her tether, and at this point, Chat Noir’s presence and his insistence was no longer a support or a comfort but another chore and responsibility to be balanced.

Her support network as both Marinette and Ladybug were extinguished. Thus, in a peaking moment of weakness, she finally revealed her identity to Alya.

Marinette met Alya and Chat Noir on the same day. Two strangers both became her friend, two insistent strangers who were united in their goal to find out Ladybug’s identity. Marinette hid her secret life from Alya, Ladybug hid her civilian identity from Chat Noir. As Marinette, she was supported by passionate, fierce, and rash Alya who jumped to conclusions and unnerved Marinette with her determination to find out the truth about Ladybug. As Ladybug, she was supported by passionate, fierce, and rash Chat Noir who impulsively leapt into battles and irritated her with his constant declarations of love.

But Marinette had connections to Alya as both Marinette and Ladybug. She found herself acknowledging Alya’s true character and learned to rely on her through a multitude of trust falls and confrontations. Marinette made the decision to trust Alya, she made the decision to depend on a person she knows as both a citizen and a superhero.

She had no choice with Chat Noir. She never knew who he was, only that he was thrusted into the same situation as she was. Truth was an important concept to Marinette, she stated multiple times that she could not stand liars. And subsequently, she could never really trust Chat Noir because she does not know who he was.

Chat Noir was an emotional crutch during the finale of Season 2 and Season 3. He was the reason why she found the courage to go on despite the anxiety of her failures and the culmination of her carelessness. Throughout Antibug, Heroes’ Day, Gamer 2.0 and Miracle Queen, it was demonstrated that the only way Marinette could trust him and confide in her vulnerabilities was through Ladybug with him as Chat Noir. She couldn’t afford the trust the boy behind the mask, so, when it came to the end of her line, when she has no other choice, Alya was the one to receive the relinquishment of her identity, not Chat Noir.

Gang of Secrets signified the end of Chat Noir’s reign.

He was a founding member, one of the original team, once upon a time on equal par with Ladybug. But now, his presence only matters as much as a temporary hero’s. The released episodes of Season 4, Mr Pigeon 72, Sole-Crusher, and most noticeably, Optigami and Sentibubbler, demonstrated the redundance of his company. Both physically and emotionally, Rena Rouge (now known as Rena Furtive) has filled in as Ladybug’s partner. Chat Noir has to be sneaked around, shield from the fact that there is a new permanent hero and shield from the fact that now, there is one other person in the world who knows Ladybug’s identity, that isn’t him.

With Ladybug’s circle of temporary allies expanded, she no longer needs to rely on Chat Noir to be her support. She could gather up any number of useful powers she has at her disposal and expend them as she wished. In Megaleech, among the five-men team Ladybug had gathered, each one of them has contributed to the defeat of the akuma, with Polymouse outshining as the victor over the army of mini Malediktators, and each one of the other heroes playing a vital role in Ladybug’s plan. Chat Noir’s delegation? To distract the enemy while Ladybug gathered up her soldiers. In the end, he didn’t even use his power, marking the first time in a Miraculous episode that a hero was called upon and left without use. The Cataclysm is no longer necessary for the defeat of an akuma. But the Lucky Charm and the Miraculous Cure are as relevant now as they were when Stoneheart first attacked.

Optigami and Sentibubbler reached the apex of his unimportance. Both times, he was more of a hindrance than a reinforcement. He unconsciously prevented Marinette from becoming Ladybug, which derails the plan to Rena Rogue’s command. He has to be told by Marinette, the civilian, to stay out of the superhero’s plan, because there was nothing he could do that Rena Rogue wasn’t already doing.

The Cataclysm is a one-use power, Chat Noir is a one-trick pony. He’s still stuck in Season 1 mode while Ladybug has broadened to new powers, new suit, new duties, new partners, and new goals.

Hawk Moth knows the identity of all the heroes but Chat Noir don’t. Chloé knows the identities of all the heroes but Chat Noir don’t. Alya has more privileges and inside knowledge than Chat Noir has, and with Rocketear, Nino is now another confidant privy to more secrets than Chat Noir is.

All Chat Noir is left with, is the comedic side-kick routine he is now entrenched too deeply in to crawl out, the knowledge that his best friend in both his civilian life and superhero life think he’s annoying, and the realisation that Ladybug truly no longer trust him, because the heroes around him, his subordinates in a sense, now ranks higher in prominence.

Did Ladybug mean for this to happen? Absolutely not.

But Chat Blanc is no longer a reason big enough to cover all the discrepancies. And she has grown so used to keeping him in the dark to realise how much the darkness was causing the chasm between them to grow. Chat Noir is now outwardly lying to Ladybug that he’s fine, refusing to tell her that he knows to some extent the secrets she has kept from him. In Season 2, he angrily confronted her about being left behind. In Season 4, now that Ladybug holds all the power, now that he no longer has the authority to demand reasons and explanations, the only thing he could do is keep his mouth shut and hope that the sheer cliff he’s balancing on does not shear away even more.

Because Chat Noir is still fun for him, isn’t it? Being a hero, being himself? Chat Noir isn’t a role for him to act, to fake being happy, to pretend to be something he’s not. Chat Noir is a persona where he can be as expressive, as temperamental, as coquettish, and childish and experimental he wants. An entity where he can safely explore all the emotions children his age usually experiences without consequences. A place where he isn’t held under fear of abandonment or emotional abuse, where he can explore his identity and speak his mind without retaliation or repercussions.  

Isn’t it?

Chat Noir’s presence is still prevalent at every akuma fight because he is a founding member. Ladybug has no reason to tell him to go home, and he’s still useful in the sense that he can provide distractions while Ladybug figures out her plan, and feed information to Rena Furtive who is hiding and watching and waiting. And there is still the Cataclysm, a power that is supposed to rival the Lucky Charm, whose potential is still yet unearthed.

But Chat Noir has no more standing to rely on. He is no longer a principal participant in the encompassing war between Ladybug and Hawk Moth, even if he is a principal target. Each side gathers up their warriors and equipment, and Chat Noir is just another treasured pawn in Ladybug’s army. He is alone in the fact that no one knows his identity. Ladybug has someone, Hawk Moth has someone, and both of them has an arsenal of champions to pick from.

He’s a wild card, he’s an anomaly. He was once Ladybug’s partner, he was a prototype for the modern Miraculous hero, and by himself, he had a visible presence. But he lost the novelty quickly.

Even in Season 1, people preferred Ladybug. She was the one to fix their city, she made the flashy speech at the Eiffel Tower, it was explainable. In Season 2, Hawk Moth began to ignore his Miraculous multiple times in favour of Ladybug’s earrings. Chloé called him Ladybug’s second fiddle. In Season 3, Fu’s obvious favour of Ladybug as future Guardian emphasised Chat Noir’s emerging sidelining. And in Season 4, Ladybug herself begun to omit her partner.

What does this have in store for the future? Rumours and headcanons fly, whispers of an akumatization on par with Chat Blanc looms closer and closer. Personally, I hope that something more substantial is done with Chat Noir’s character. There’s still so much to be expatiated, his family history, his own personality, and his unlocked powers. If the Black Cat Miraculous was truly the harmonizing consort of the Ladybug Miraculous, then logically, Chat Noir should be receiving the multiple new upgrades in the near future.

A climax where an issue that has spanned for four seasons ending within two episodes sounds stereotypically Miraculous and nightmarish. But the show has three more seasons to go, and hopefully this conflict will be used as a starting point for what may be in store for those seasons.

What if Chat Noir decides to deflect? What is he decided to derail, and what if Chat Noir becomes the next villain? ShadowMoth is a recurring joke at this point, and with the development of Season 4, ShadowMoth’s return in Season 5 sounds exhausting and repetitive. Looking at the overarching picture, there is only one person that has enough incentive and power to become Ladybug’s future archnemesis.

Love and hate are the opposite sides of the same coin.

But no matter what is in store for the distant narrative of Miraculous, this essay concludes on the now.

We look at Season 1 Chat Noir, and the Chat Noir of the latest episode. Even if his powers and position hasn’t grown, he has developed into his role emotionally, in an unfortunately negative way.

Chat Noir is no longer Ladybug’s partner, and analytically, no longer as important as he once was.

I really hope the show does something good with this.

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Reality Check - Chapter 3

Thanks for the love!  It’s insane to me how quickly this blew up!  And I’ve loved hearing theories by you guys! The show must go on, so let’s not wait any longer ;) 

Summary: Y/N and Wanda were very close after returning in 2023.  The two bonded over the loss of their partners.  It wasn’t enough to keep Wanda grounded after she found Vision’s body though, and Wanda wants the best for her friend.  Unfortunately for Y/N, this means she’s going to be thrown into a reality she wasn’t expecting.

Missed the first part?  Read it here! Need chapter 2?  Go down to the tags and click #Reality Check Masterlist ! 

Scott led you to a nearby park.  You never managed to get those guitar strings for Loki, so you hoped he had more at home that he didn’t know about.  You sat down on a bench with Scott, who looked around carefully, as if to ensure there were no wandering eyes.  Not a person was in sight, but you assumed that was because it was the middle of the weekend.  Everyone was at home, spending quality time with one another.  

“I don’t understand still.  What is it that you wanted to ask me?” You asked him, once he finally turned back to look at you. 

“Do you remember how you first got here?” 

“Well, yes, you pulled us outside of the store,” You laughed.  

“No-” He shifted in his seat, “-Do you remember when you first came to this town?” 

“Of course, I moved here with my husband when...” You drifted off.  “When we...” 

He looked at you expectantly.  “Do you remember?” 

You shook your head, almost upset with yourself for not remembering.  

“No, I don’t.”

---

“Wanda, what do you think you can do about it?” You asked your friend who was pacing around your shared apartment.  She had her hair pulled back in a low ponytail and she was dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt.  It was clear she hadn’t been taking care of herself.  Some of the injuries she sustained during the final battle were still visible.  They complimented the dark circles under her eyes, showing you exactly how she felt on the inside.  

“Y/N, we have to go take him back.” She said, finally stopping in her tracks.

“You don’t even know what S.W.O.R.D is doing though!  Maybe they’re trying to extract important data from him.” 

“Or they’re trying to weaponize him.  Exactly what he didn’t want.” Her voice was stern, and she was trying to control her anger.  You knew she was right, but you wanted to believe it wasn’t true. 

“And you believe you could bust right in there, take his body, and get away with it?  Wanda, I know you’re hurting but this is absurd!” 

“You say it as if you wouldn’t do the same for Loki.” 

“Because I wouldn’t!” You hissed.  You stood up and walked over to the girl, whose eyes were starting to glow a dim red.  “Vis wouldn’t have wanted you to keep going after him like this.  He would want you to move on.” 

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.  Y/N, I know you understand this feeling.  You said it yourself, you nearly went after Loki in that timeline after he took the tesseract.” 

“But I didn’t.  The opportunity presented itself but I knew deep down that I couldn’t do it.  This is our reality.  Our universe.  Our timeline.  My Loki is gone.  I can’t do anything about it.” 

“But what if we could?” She asked, zoning out rather quickly.  Wanda was no longer looking at you, but rather looking out into the open as if there was an opportunity that presented itself. 

“What are you talking about?” You asked nervously.  

“There’s nothing grounding us right now, Y/N.  Everyone is out there, partying, celebrating, having fun with their loved ones.  We don’t get to have that.  Not in the same sense at least.  But with my powers-” 

“Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say.” 

“We deserve happiness.  Even if it’s only temporary.” 

“You’ll trap yourself in there.  It’ll be your dream world and you’ll never want to leave.  I know you, Wanda.  You can’t do this.” 

“Can’t I?” She stormed out of the room before you could say anything more.  You wanted to run after her, but maybe some space was what she needed. 

You regretted that decision three days later. 

--

“Neither do I,” He said, breaking you out of your trance.  He sighed dejectedly.  “You’re the first person I’ve had a chance to ask about this.  Anyone else runs away to do something else before I have the opportunity.” 

“What are you trying to say?  This is a perfectly normal neighborhood.” 

“I’m trying to say it’s the exact opposite of that, Y/N.  There is nothing normal about this town.  Nothing.  How did you get here?  Why did you come here?  Doesn’t it feel like everything is dull?  Colorless?” 

“Why would it be anything other than normal, Scott?  Are you trying to say magic is real or someone has this whole town hypnotized or something?  It’s madness!” You exclaimed.  “And if you believe that so much then why don’t you just leave?” 

“That’s the thing, I can’t.” 

“What do you mean you can’t?” 

“I mean there’s no way out of this town.  If you want me to leave, you first.  I’ll follow your lead.  But you’ll understand what I mean as soon as you get to the border.  It seems like it just goes on and on and you never reach the sign that says you’re leaving Westview.  There’s no way out.” 

You stood up from the bench quickly, like a lightbulb finally lit up in your head.  You shook your head and turned to leave.  “I don’t know what you want me to do here.  I’m happy with my life.  You just sound insane.  No wonder everyone tries to avoid you.  I have to get to the talent show.  My husband needs me.”  

“Then go to him, but mark my words Y/N.  Something is wrong.” 

---

“Loki, I’m so sorry!  I got caught up with someone at the store!” You gave him an apologetic smile.  He was standing behind the stage, tuning the guitar once more before he went on.  He smiled back at you when he saw you walking up. 

“It’s quite alright, love.  I’m just happy you’ll get to see me perform.  I think you’ll love the song I have picked out.  It’s one you haven’t heard from me yet.” 

“You mean I haven’t heard this one a dozen times this morning already?” 

“Not at all,” He grinned.  

“Well, I’m looking forward to it.  Break a leg, hon.” You kissed his cheek as a woman motioned for him to go up on stage.  She had her hair up and she carried a clipboard with her.  You realized you didn’t know her, so you walked over to her as you watched Loki.  

He introduced himself and began playing a song.  “Hey Good Lookin’” to be specific.  You laughed lightly as he glanced over to the end of the stage, giving you a small wink.  

“He takes my comments too literally sometimes,” You shook your head.  The woman smiled politely.  

“He’s a very good singer.  You’re lucky to have him.” 

“Oh, I am.  Sometimes I wonder what I would do without him.  He’s been my best friend for God knows how long.” You watched him turn to look at the crowd, a bright smile on his face as he sang the lyrics.  The crowd watched with light smiles as the man played. 

“That’s the best relationship you can have.” 

“Oh!  I’m sorry, I just realized I never introduced myself.  I’m Y/N,” You introduced yourself. 

“I’m Geraldine.  I’m one of Wanda’s friends,” She replied.  

Wanda seemed to pop up at the mention of her name because the next thing you knew you saw her next to you.  “How wonderful!  Hey Wanda, how are you adjusting to the town?” 

“Well, it’s been quite a big adjustment but everyone here is so welcoming that it’s easy!” She said, straightening out one of her gloves.  “Now it would be a little nice if my husband decided to show up soon.  We go on right after Loki.” She started fidgeting with her fingers.  

“Oh you two have met?” You asked her.  She seemed to freeze for a moment, before relaxing again and responding. 

“Yes, right before you showed up.  He’s so sweet!” She gushed.  

“Well, he is quite charming.  As I’m sure you can see by what he’s singing right now.  I mentioned Hank Williams once this morning and this is what I get for it,” You giggled. 

“Aw, that’s so romantic of him.” 

“It truly is.  But enough about me and Loki, Geraldine, when did you arrive in town?” You asked, turning towards her. 

“Oh, I’ve been here for a while, I just haven’t had the time to participate in any of these fun events until a few days ago. Perhaps we should have an evening out with just us girls one day, get to know each other,” She responded, 

“That would be great!  We could go out, find something fun to do, get a break from our husbands,” You said, laughing.  Wanda laughed a little as well.  

“I’ll have to see when I’m free,” Wanda mentioned.  “We’re still trying to settle into our home so life has been a little chaotic.  I feel like I need some magical stone or something to reverse time and give me a chance to relax.” All three of you chuckled at her statement. 

“Now that would be a wonderful tool.  If only it existed,” You groaned dramatically.  

“Well, either way, if you ever need any help settling in, let me know Wanda.” Geraldine mentioned.  You nodded your head in agreement.

“Yeah, don’t ever hesitate in reaching out.  We’re here to assist in whatever you need.” 

“You girls are so amazing!” She exclaimed, hugging the two of you.  You smiled and hugged her back.  

As she broke the hug, Loki walked off the stage and back to you.  “You were amazing, honey,” You complimented him. 

“Oh please, you weren’t even listening all that much.  But thank you anyway,” He kissed the top of your head.  Wanda and Geraldine watched with small smiles. 

“Wanda, Vision needs to get here in another five minutes otherwise I can’t do much more.  They’ll tolerate another break but that’s all I can do,” Geraldine mentioned, walking up to the stage.

“Thank you Geraldine,” She sighed, clearly frustrated.  

“He’ll show up.  He must know how much this means to you Wanda, so I have no doubt he’ll be here in time,” You said.  She nodded her head.  

“He’s never late.  He’s always on time, always punctual.” 

To ease her panic and worry, Loki decided to change the subject.  “I don’t believe we’ve met yet.  I am Loki,” He introduced himself.  You furrowed your brows in confusion. 

“I thought you two already met,” You asked.  

“Well I know she’s been in the neighborhood for a few days now, love, but I haven’t had the opportunity yet to properly introduce myself.” He responded.  

“I’m Wanda,” She smiled nervously.  She was trying to figure out a way out of this situation.  Fortunately, Vision was running over just in the nick of time.  He seemed out of breath, with his full magician’s suit on.  “Where have you been?!” She began to yell at him. 

You walked away a little, giving them space.  Loki followed closely behind you.  He seemed confused, but only by your expression.  It didn’t seem like he was concerned by Wanda.  “What was that about?” You asked him.  

“What do you mean?” He tilted his head slightly, much like a dog.  

“Wanda said that you guys met already, while you were on stage.  And then you act like you didn’t know her at all.” 

Before he could respond, you noticed a glint in his eyes.  It was like a red mist reflecting in them.  The color faded quickly, back to the grey you were used to.  He seemed phased out, like something else caught his attention.  “We briefly talked right before you arrived, so maybe that’s what she meant.” 

You nodded absentmindedly.  You didn’t believe him at all.  Too many things were becoming too suspicious at this point.  Loki saw how you reacted, hurt flashing in his eyes.  A part of you would’ve felt guilty if you didn’t feel like you were being left in the dark constantly.  

“Loki I wish I could believe you, but so many weird things have been going on lately.”  You muttered under your breath.  

“Y/N, what’s wrong, love?”  He asked, placing his hands on your waist.  He was concerned, but he didn’t know what to do. 

“It seems like everything is off.  I’m seeing weird things around this place, weird people.  It all started when Wanda came to town, and now there’s some weird guy that I met at the store and-” 

“Wait, what weird guy?” 

“The one that I bumped into a few days ago.  He talked to me today and he sounded absolutely insane.”  

“What did he talk to you about?” 

“He started asking me questions I didn’t know the answers to.  He started spouting out some weird stuff about the town.  I ended up walking away because he wouldn’t stop pressing about it,”

“I don’t trust that man,” He said, almost afraid. 

“Me neither.  But with the other weird and strange things happening now, I wonder if there’s any substance to what he’s talking about.” 

“Y/N, don’t start with this.  Don’t get yourself caught up with someone like him.  You’ll drive yourself mad with this.” He pulled you closer to him by your waist as you avoided his eyes. 

He lifted your chin with one hand, forcing you to look at him.  “There’s something wrong here, Loki.  Do you remember how we got here?” 

“How we got here?” He echoed. 

“When did we move here?  When did we get married?  When did we decide to get married?” You asked him. 

“That doesn’t matter, love.  The important thing is that we’re here now, together.” He pressed. 

“You’re avoiding answering the questions.” 

“We deserve happiness, don’t you think?” You froze when he asked that.  Something about that phrase, those words, were eerie.  

You pulled away from him quickly.  “Don’t say that.  Loki, I deserve to know how we got to this point in our lives.  I can’t remember what we did to get here.  If you won’t tell me, then I need some time alone.  I’ll be home later tonight, but please don’t follow me.” 

You started walking away, refusing to look at Loki.  You know you’d run right back if you saw the heartbreak in his eyes.  

W̵̲͓̱̹̻̜͖̟̺̲͕̍̉͑̀̈͜͝ͅh̴̨̻̠̫̫̲̟͖͊̃̐̓̈̅̄͜a̶̢̛̜̝̯̩̻̾́̐̓͛́͜ț̵̡̜̗͓̱̠̝̖͚͕̹̗͚͖͗'̶̧͙͉̜͈̖̹̠͍̓ş̴̢̡̥̰̤̱̩͓̹̦̠̥̞̎̾͊͘͜͠ ̴̡̙̬͓̻͉̭̗͎̙͕͌̈́g̶̛͉̜̯̥̍͒ö̴̢͙͇͍̮̮̝̗͈̲̬̪̯́͋ͅͅĩ̶̧͕̜͖͖͎̌́̂̐͗̏́͛̃̄͘͠͝n̴̨̢͙̼̩͕̼̮̬̪͙̊̽͊̓̇̈̀̈́͒̈́̓͘͜͝ǧ̸̱̮͕̮̻̻͇̖̪̯̳̂̈́̉̾͐͜͠ ̸̭̼̃͂̇͗̓̆͐̓͗̀͋̑̉͊͛ơ̶̡̡̧̩̤̙̤̯͇̝̞̫̤͓̆͑̓̉̌͂̃̓̍̋̄͘ͅņ̶̯͓̭̺̹̪̅̓̍́͗̅͗͘͝ ̶̢̡̼̗̙̤̫̳͇͓̻͉̼̯͈͐̔̄̄͊̈́̐̿̔̄̈́̕ṋ̴̭̫͖̜̫̦̀͆̒͘ͅo̸̗͊̋̏̇̊̾̿́̆̇̈́̑͝͝w̶̛̛̼̓̍̀͐̄̀̈́̈́̿̽̚͘͝?̷̳̜̜̺̼͙̜̰͊͊͗̆͒̋͜

“Darcy?” 

“What’s Wanda doing now?” 

“She’s performing a magic show.  It’s just like any other sitcom.  She’s trying to hide her powers because Vision has decided to go haywire.” She said, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“Wait, what’s that?” Jimmy asked, pointing to the background.  

“It looks like Y/N and Loki.” 

“It looks like they’re fighting,” She responded, pointing out their frowning expressions, their stiff body language.  

“Would Wanda script that?”

“I doubt it.  She’s apparently living the perfect little sitcom life after all.  She’d never want people fighting like that.” 

Suddenly, the television screen flashed for a moment.  The camera panned to the talent show, pointing directly at Wand and Vision.  You could no longer see the other couple. 

“She must’ve noticed.”

“And she doesn’t want anyone else seeing.”

.

.

.

.

Taglist: @emberfulclass @momoneymolife @high-priestesss @hailey-the-heathen​ @mochminnie @dpaccione @intricate-melody @lindseyrae20 @storminateacup15

[sluttbuttsstuff]

Melone sick fic

for @dark-side-blog2 who could use some comfort right now <3

enjoy!

You woke up prematurely in the middle of the night by the soreness radiating off your chest.  You groaned, pulling the covers of your sheets over your head, trying to will yourself back to sleep.  Unfortunately, your body didn’t like that one bit, and you were shocked with red hot pain.  You couldn’t help yelping out loud, the pain unexpected from your healing skin torn. You bit your lip, trying to hold back whimpers-all you wanted to do was get some sleep.

“Oh, Darling, you’re up already?”  You hear your bedroom door open and a far too familiar voice calls out to you.  You didn’t bother holding back your groan this time:  Melone had let himself into your apartment again.  Melone lived directly across from you in your apartment complex, and had been glued to you since day one.  It didn’t matter whether you locked your door or not; he would let himself into your apartment, go through your belongings when he thought you weren’t looking, and introduce himself to your friends and house guests as your “lover”.  What’s worse, he was starting to wear you down, to the point where you (would never openly admit) were starting to find him...charming, in his own way.  You didn’t have romantic feelings or anything, you would swear up and down, but moving to a new town with no friends was surprisingly lonely, and to his credit, he’d helped you out a lot.

Right now, though?  You didn’t want to see anyone, let alone the guy who tracked your period on his phone bothering you in your time of pain. Especially not on an area as sensitive as the underside of your breast; there was no telling what Melone would do.

“For the love of all that is good in this world-leave, Melone.”  You hissed, peeking out from your sheets to glare at the intruder.  Melone smiled, unperturbed, and walked over to your bedside.

“Good morning to you too, darling <3!  I just came by to surprise you with breakfast in bed, and-”  He stopped, his smile dropping as he got closer to you. “You’re bleeding.”

You looked down at your bed covers, and saw that indeed, you were bleeding enough to soak through to your bed sheets.  “Holy shit!” you whisper to yourself, as Melone rushes over and removes the blankets. 

“Let me see,”  He orders, not asks, as he pulls up your shirt to examine your wound.  You squawk in indignation, yelling insults at him like “pervert” and “creep” to no avail.  Melone is...more serious than you’ve ever seen him, to be honest. He’s laser focused on your wound, which you can now see is even more red and irritated than it was last night.  The band-aid you had slapped over it was in bad shape as well, and seemed to almost melt into your skin, blistering and bleeding all over your shirt and sheets.

“It seems you had an allergic reaction to this band-aid, we’ll need to wrap this wound carefully in order for it to heal properly,”  Melone said, more to himself than you, as he gently pushed you back onto your bed.  “Excuse me for a moment, i’ll be  right back,” He says, and like that, he’s out of your place.  You blink, trying to process everything that’s happened, unsure of what you should do.  By the time you’ve convinced yourself to get up and try to clean yourself off, and are halfway off your bed, when Melone barges back into your room, toting a slew of medical supplies and several other tools you can’t identify.

“Ah ah ah! Don’t move, Darling, you might tear the wounds more!”  He reprimands you, tutting as he pushes you back onto the bed with unexpected strength.  You huff, getting more and more annoyed by Melone, who has not only forced himself into your room but seen at least one of your tits at this point, and is forcing you to stay in bed. Still…

To be fair, he clearly knows what he’s doing, as he cleans and wraps  your wound with doctoral precision, and has made no advances or inappropriate comments about your conditions.  In fact, now that he’s come over, you feel a whole lot better.  The stinging has stopped, and you’re able to move comfortably after he’s done wrapping your wound.  He also takes your bed sheets off of your bed and puts them in the laundry for you, helps you to the bathroom to clean yourself up and change.  If you didn’t know any better, you would say the Melone you know and tolerate has been replaced by a certified nurse.  When you come out of the bathroom, clean and refreshed, he’s replaced your sheets with new ones (they must be his, they’re an unfamiliar color and smell like cologne) and he ushers you to get back into bed.

“From what I could tell, the original wound was due to your bra’s underwire poking out of your bra and piercing your skin, correct?  We’ll have to dispose of it, as it’s no longer safe to wear.  Also, I think it would be best if you were to get an allergy test when you’re feeling better, to help determine what specifically you’re allergic to, so this can be prevented in the future.  In the meantime, rest and relaxation is the best way for you to heal right now.”  Flabbergasted, you simply nod and get into bed, still so confused by Melone’s, for lack of a better word, professionalism.  

For the rest of the day, Melone does nothing but dote on you.  While he does occasionally slip into his more familiar perverted ways, for the most part he’s very polite and comforting.  He has some sleeping pills and low grade pain medication for you to take (maybe you shouldn’t trust Melone with pills, but with the way he’s been today you give him the benefit of the doubt) brings you your meals on a tray in bed, and even lets you nap and surf the internet in peace.  Aside from an offer for a foot massage, which you do know by now to turn down, your day has been quite nice actually, and you have Melone to thank for that.  

Later in the evening, before you’re about to go to bed, Melone checks your injury and redresses your bandages one last time.

“You’re looking much better now, darling, I'm guessing you should be good to go tomorrow, and fully healed in a day or two.”  He tells you happily, patting you on the shoulder.  He turns to leave, only for you to tug on his sleeve and pull him back.  Both Melone and you are shocked-why are you doing this?

“Was there something you needed, darling?”  Melone asks, looking at you intently.  You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to find the right words for what you want to say.  It’s just… Melone’s been so kind to you today, and helped you out when you were going through a hard time.  He took care of you, kept you company when you wanted, and left you alone when you needed space.  To be honest, it was really nice having him here today.  You wouldn’t mind having more days like this, you know, as long as he behaves himself.

“These bedsheets...they’re yours, right?”  You mutter, just loud enough for Melone to hear. 

“Yes, Darling, but don’t worry, they’re clean!”  He answers.

“Then...you don’t have any blankets on your bed right now, right?”  You continue, unable to look him in the eyes.

Melone smiles, “Oh, don’t worry Darling, i’ll be fine-”

“Sleep with me tonight.”  You interrupt him, cheeks on fire.  Melone gaps like a fish, trying to process what you just said.

You clarify, “I mean, just so you can stay warm.  And it’s just for tonight, since my sheets are still wet. So, like, this is the only fair option, right??”  you finish lamely, clutching Melone’s sheets tightly in your hands.  Melone takes a moment to clear his head and respond.

“Well, if you insist darling<3”  He grins.  You aren’t even looking at him, you’re too embarrassed to, but you can hear the grin in his voice.  He carefully crawls into your bed on the other side, giving you ample space but still turned towards you.

“Goodnight, Darling.  I hope you sleep well,”  He whispers, smiling at you.  You turn off the lights, cheeks hot, but not comfortable enough to fall asleep yet.  After fiddling with your pillows and swallowing your pride, you inch yourself closer and closer to Melone, finding comfort in the warmth of his body heat.  His eyes are closed, and he looks so peaceful, but you can feel him wrap an arm around you.  You don’t push him away.

“Goodnight, Melone”  You whisper, and fall asleep.