#he’s got to be the first or else he’ll be gloomy the entire day

[gojoest]

facetime’ing with satoru every morning as soon as you wake up when he’s away on missions bc 1) he loves to have a good look at your sleepy face + listen to your morning voice 2) can’t stand the thought of someone else seeing you before he does

[xcrystalzero]

let the rain fall

characters included: zhongli, diluc, childe, kaeya, venti, xiao

summary: it seems the genshin boys have their own preferences of how to spend a rainy day.

Zhongli:

- This gloomy atmosphere is nothing that can't be fixed with a fresh pot of fine tea and some good conversation.

- When a glance out the window makes it clear that you won't be going anywhere anytime soon, he's quick to invite you to stay for some tea and snacks.

- Despite his evident lack of Mora, he has no lack of niceties where he lives and you can only wonder who he got to pay for this high grade tea and fine china.

- He offers you a knitted blanket and the two of you sit at the table as he pours you a cup of tea. It tastes warm and homey and he even sweetened it perfectly to your taste.

- To fill the time, Zhongli does what he does best. He tells you stories about Liyue, both as it is now, and as he knew it when he was a younger god. He weaves modern stories of families warring in certain trade businesses with seemingly fantastical recollections of rock spirits carved into dragons and gods that warred between the sea and sky.

- To him, time may not be an issue, but in the hectic mortal life you live, you've never before been able to truly sit down and listen to the experiences of the man before you. Even as the sky outside clears, you can't bring yourself to rise from your seat and return to your normal life. After hearing about the life of a god, how could you?

Diluc:

- For him, it's business as usual at the Winery.

- Sure, he's probably not going to be making the treck to Mondstat to work the bar at Angel's Share if it's raining cats and dogs outside, but there's plenty of other work that has to get done that he can manage from home.

- If you do manage to pry him away from his desk, you attempt to draw him back to the bedroom to get a little bit of rest, but as you pass the study, his eyes light up and you can tell that he has something else planned now.

- Suddenly, you're sitting across from Diluc, a chessboard between you. If you have no idea how to play, he'll diligently take the time to instruct you, making sure that you're able to understand the game perfectly before he proposes a practice match. Otherwise, he comes out of the gate with that one and there's a strange competitive glint in his eyes that you've never really seen before.

- And so you play. Diluc, for all of his gentlemanly qualities, is not one to throw the match just because he likes you. In fact, that actually spurs him on even more to try and one-up you at every turn. The gameplay is accompanied by an uncharacteristic amount of banter between the two of you. Every time one person takes the match, the other immediately issues another challenge and so you play on and on.

- The maids come to check on you guys since they're sure that you'll burn out at this rate, but you seem to be having a lot of fun, and so they let you be. The weather and your responsibilities are all but forgotten about as the two of you get to spend this well-earned time off together.

Childe:

- Thinks the rain is really fun. Growing up in basically a polar tundra, he didn't really see rain all that much until he left his hometown and began his duties as a Harbinger.

- The novelty of the whole thing combined with his hydro vision and love of water means that he loves rainy days.

- Will 100% drag you out into the downpour just to play around. At first, it seems a little out of character, even for the playful Harbinger, but you quickly realize what he's actually trying to do.

- That aforementioned hydro vision comes in handy as Childe begins to move the raindrops around him, molding them into creations that you can't help but compare to the Oceanid's hyrdo mimics. He's clearly having a blast and the light in his usually flat cerulean eyes only brightens when he sees that you're impressed, or at least amused.

- He just likes to show off, but showing off in front of you is even better so he has a blast. Perhaps if you have a vision, you can join in and the two of you can cause as much chaos as you want before the clouds clear.

- It's a rare chance for you to see a more carefree side of Childe. Usually, even his boyish charm is often a calculated move in the diplomatic schemes he claims to hate so much but is just so good at manufacturing. This however, feels like the real Childe to you.

- Eventually, you drag him into your place to get cleaned up and out of your soaked clothing but even as the moment fades, the light in his eyes doesn't. He looks better like this, you think but don't say. Instead, you chose to enjoy this side of the Harbinger before it inevitably fades away once more.

Kaeya:

- Does not like the rain because of certain... complications with it in his past. He won't tell you but it's not too hard to figure out from his actions.

- When it does rain, he prefers to either hole himself up in his office, or settle happily into the corner of a tavern and burn time with his drinking buddies.

- On the chance that you decide to join him, he's quite grateful for your company. He offers to cover your tab this time if you get him the next time he's had a few too many, which you wave off. However, as he begins to down drinks at an alarming speed, you can't help but worry.

- So, you slow him down by drawing him into conversation. You begin to talk about the most random things, though you continuously bring the conversation back around to him so that it is Kaeya telling the stories and doing a lot of the actual speaking. Not only does this slow down his progress through the wine before him, but it draw the other patrons to you.

- Suddenly, you've gone from two people talking at the bar, to basically a large gathering of people, all holed in together telling their stories, bantering, and bickering, and enjoying themselves.

- It takes him a while since you were kind of slick about it, but the Cavalry Captain catches on eventually and the smallest of smiles comes to his face. A real one this time. Well well, as far as playing games goes, he's pretty sure you won this one. And he's glad about it.

- He becomes significantly more relaxed after that, though he leans into you for the rest of the night, resting his head on your shoulders or pulling you gently closer to him. Nothing spicy or suggestive. Just a gentle gesture to show that he really is grateful for all of this, and for you.

Venti:

- Decides that it's the perfect time to start singing in the square.

- No seriously, you're wandering around Mondstat looking for the guy, only to find him traipsing around at the base of his statue, singing into the sky.

- Obviously, you yell at him to come inside, mentioning that he's not going to get any coins for his songs if there's no audience out to listen to them. He laughs at that, giving you a quick lecture of the value of music outside of money.

- And then he grabs your hand and pulls you out from under the overhanging you were taking shelter under. You screech at first but it turns to giggles as he then holds his hand out to you. "May I have this dance? Hehe, I've always wanted to say that!" How could you turn away such an adorable archon?

- And so, you indulge him, letting him lead you in a dance that is more skipping and jumping about than really dancing, but it's fun and brings bubbles of laughter to your lips so you keep going. He sings throughout it, making your own music as you spin around one another.

- Your shenanigans begin to draw some looks as people begin to yell from their windows, requesting songs from Venti, along with whatever dance you decide to "choreograph" to them. Perhaps some will even leave their houses and join you, reveling in the cool summer rain and the song that seems to cut straight through it.

Xiao:

- Adepti are rarely bothered by the rain, but he notes that you don't seem particularly keen on setting foot outside right now and actually suggests that the two of you just stay at Wangshu Inn until it clears up a little.

- You're surprised by his care, though you're not complaining as you dip back under the roof, protected and dry.

- That being said, you can tell that he's getting kind of antsy and you don't want him to feel uncomfortable at all or like he's being held there for no reason. So, you decide to find an activity for the two of you that doesn't involve fighting and that you can do inside of the inn.

- It takes a little convincing but you manage to get Smiley Yanxiao to loan you guys the kitchen for a little while (he's not getting any customers either way in this weather). It's time, you decide, for Xiao to learn how to make Almond Tofu himself!

- He's a bit skeptical but you bring up that it is his favorite dish, and he does eat it pretty often, so he should probably know what goes into making it. He begrudgingly agrees and you start.

- As it turns out, having never cooked in his long life, Xiao is awful at it. You guys absolutely botch the recipe the first two times and you're sure that Xiao is going to bail on you, saying that this was a stupid idea and going back to sulking at the top of the inn. Surprisingly though, he actually stays and seems like he's invested in the entire process.

- On the third try, you guys finally come up with something tangible. After a taste, it's not quite on the level of the one Smiley Yanxiao makes, but it's still not bad. Xiao is tempted to just huff and take off, but the look of accomplishment and happiness on your face as you two share the dish you made together warms him in a way he only feels when he's around you.

-Perhaps he can afford to spend more rainy days indoors and idle, if it means spending them with you.

[angelictrl]

Hi! Can I request some hcs for the brothers + undateables taking care of a gn!MC while they're in hospital? (I'll leave the reason they're in hospital up to you) Thanks!!

DEMON BROS TAKING CARE OF AN MC IN THE HOSPITAL.

ofc !! i'm going to write the undateable ver. and link it here later since this got longer than i thought it would if you don't mind <3

LUCIFER

tries to be there for you but can't stop himself from drowning in his work.

don't get me wrong - he most certainly is attentive to your needs and visits you often - but he still puts all the blame on himself no matter the cause for you being put in the hospital.

this is because it reminds him of when he and his brothers fell.

not only did he have to get accustomed to the devildom, but he had to suffer the loss of his sister, deal with his new demonic form, and raise satan all while being diavolo's righthand man.

so naturally, being the eldest and also the one who started the great celestial war, he always felt at fault for how things turned out; although he'd rather die than say it aloud.

you being put in the hospital makes him feel like he failed you, he failed to save you, failed to protect you, even if he hides it with a poker face and instead drowns in his work.

please - this is one of the only times you'll see a vulnerable luci.

cupping his face tenderly with your hands as he sits by your bedside late at night, he refuses to cry, but definently has a gloomy expression.

he can't lose you too. he cant fail you.

as soon as you're discharged though, he makes sure to keep you by his side more often.

late night office dates, anyone?

he'll hold you close and try to be slightly more affectionate in public.

this whole scenario has reminded him just how mortal you are, and he hates that someone who's just as angelic as you is trapped inside of a fragile and weak body.

MAMMON

clingy asf

probably the first one to find out mc's in the hospital.

he's downright upset at first. normally he's attached to your hip, so the one time he leaves you alone, ya wind up in the hospital? he knew you were too much of a fragile human to be left alone!

he refuses to let anyone near you as you recover - besides the doctors and nurses, of course, but even then he eyeballs them to make sure they're being gentle with you.

he goes on a rant/lecture about how you're just some weak human who needs him by your side and how you shouldn't have gone off on your own, but as soon as you frown or pout while averting your gaze, his whole demeanor flips.

he's just really worried about you.

he's a big tsundere, yes, but he cares so much about you and he's not sure how to convey his emotions as he's never felt this way about anyone before.

"h-hey, i'm not mad at ya. just... i'm your first. no, i don't care if i'm in the middle of a scheme, i'll always make time for ya... so don't go off alone, okay?!"

buys you tons of gifts before and after you've left the hospital

definitely won't leave you alone for the first few weeks of being discharged

really, he's clinging onto you like you have more value than goldie

and truly, he wouldn't admit it, but you do.

LEVIATHAN

probably gets told by one of his brothers since he's hiding out in his room as per usual.

first, he almost summons lotan in anger to get revenge for mc if they got hurt by someone, but whether that is or isn't the case, he soon calms down once he recognizes something.

this is just like the 78th episode of TSL he was watching when the lord of shadows returns the favor to henry for helping him through his familial problems by taking care of him!!

well then. now levi's been inspired to be the best lord of shadows he can for his henry.

oh, and i guess he'll do it anyways because he cares about mc's wellbeing to begin with or wtv... /s

nonetheless, snek boi brings a bunch of games, movies, and mangas to mc as he camps out in their hospital room with them.

you better be prepared to binge watch all of TSL and fall asleep to whatever sounds are coming from his game beside your bed - not that you have much of a choice, anyways.

his brothers probably try to pull him away from you as he's clingy boy #2 and staying up having gaming marathons can't be good for your recovery, so you can bet your little human butt you're going to find yourself staying in levi's room for a couple of days after you've left the hospital.

definently places ruri-chan or any other anime-related stickers on your casts (if you have any) or cheeks to cheer you up.

bonus: he totally tries to sneak in henry 2.0 to keep you company when he can't be there and if he succeeds, he relies on henry to give him reports of your health.

SATAN

pissed if someone else landed you in the hospital. nearly goes on a rampage and his brothers just barely manage to stop him.

probably one of the best people to keep you company once he calms down, though.

definitely visits you at the same hour everyday to bring you books he suggests you read.

if you're not up for reading any, he'll suggest reading them to you, or suggest something else entirely different.

stays overnight a couple times with an audiobook playing in the background or with an open book on his chest.

doesn't mind falling asleep in weird positions anyways considering the way his room is set up.

watches detective dramas late at night when you're asleep like a dork lol

definitely watches cute cat compilations with you if you're feeling down for any particular reason and will stroke your hair to calm you down.

10/10, soft satan is best satan <3

ASMODEUS

probably screams tbh

that can't be good for your skin!! all that stress on top of being sick/hurt is going to make you break out!!

practically dashes to visit you with skin care & beauty products although you're advised not to use them by your doctors atm

asmodeus has never been so salty.

though, he is concerned about your overrall being.

it honestly scares him how much he cares about you. especially in this state because he's never cared so much for anyone else other than his brothers or himself in a long time.

most likely to cry (besides mammon) if you cry since he already has tears stinging his eyes.

he starts neglecting his own nightly routines to stay overnight with you.

if you start to point it out or ask him why he's doing this, he'll just sit there in astonishment processing your words.

you matter so much to him? like, duh, of course he's going to be here, why wouldn't he? he doesn't care about anything else other than you and your recovery right now and-

oh.

you matter... more than him... to him...?

...ya broke him.

when you're asleep, he watches you silently for a change, caressing your cheek delicately with soft eyes focused on your relaxed features.

he gets a strange feeling in his chest - and not like the ones he gets from excitement over his quick hookups - no, no, this one is a foreign feeling. it's, dare he say, euphoric.

BEELZEBUB

just like lucifer, he feels guilty.

he already lost lilith. he can't lose you too.

he probably needs more reassuring that you're going to be okay than you do, honestly.

he plops down onto the couch in your room and intensely stares at your sleeping form as he stress eats.

on a funnier note, he has the nurses doing laps around the hospital bringing him food and he says "it's for mc" to them, but we all know who it's really for.

he's the softest he's ever been with you.

you thought he was a teddy bear before? he's practically made of stuffing by now.

when you're sad, he wants to reassure you, but you look so sickly and frail that he holds you like your glass.

please reassure this behemoth of a man that you're going to be okay, he really loves you and wouldn't forgive himself if he made things worse.

most definitely takes you out to a restaurant to treat you once you've fully recovered.

BELPHEGOR

he already beats himself up over the attic thing, so if anyone had hurt you enough to put you into the hospital, his anger would probably rival the avatar of wrath and they'd go missing.

squeezes himself onto your bed to cuddle you while being mindful of your iv.

if that doesn't work, well, then he just drapes himself over your legs. he's gonna find a way to be with you, and you can't stop him (y'know, unless you flat out tell him or look like you're uncomfortable).

if all else fails, he settles for mushing his cheek against one arm propped against your bedside as his other hand is occupied holding yours.

he's pretty much like one of those therapy cats LMAO

lots n lots of sleepy cuddling. after all, rest is essential for your recovery, right?

when you two can't sleep, you have movie nights bingewatching the worst rated movies and shows in the devildom and the two of you go cinema sins on them.

v clingy after you get discharged and holds you noticeably tighter to his chest.

"stop doing stupid things that could kill you, you idiot."

obey me masterlist. | undateables version.

[staticscreenwriting]

Where the heart is // B. B.

Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) are getting a divorce because they are silly and both love the other so damn much. (Happy Ending!)

TW: Talk of divorce. Talk of potential pregnancy and babies.

A/N: Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.] 

TAGLIST: Find the link to join my taglist in my bio. Will reblog this post with the taglist attached seperately. 

Waking up from this nightmare How's your life, what's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be? Does it hurt when you think about me? And how broken my heart is

The apartment is deadly quiet as Bucky steps inside, only the rattling of his keys echoing through the halls that once seemed so warm and inviting are now but a cold reminder of what used to be.

People never really talk about these moments. The after. The wreckage. The ruins of what used to be. Sure there are movies and books and countless songs but they take the feeling and they wrap it up in beautiful words and prose and make something beautiful of it.

There’s nothing beautiful in the way Bucky feels as his feet drag him towards what used to be his bedroom, which is now hers. There’s nothing beautiful in the way he feels as his eyes wander over to the closed door behind which lays an empty room. One that is empty not because of choice but because of the shitty cards life has dealt both him and her.

There is nothing beautiful about the way he feels. Only sadness. Only hurt.

When he turns the corner and steps into the bedroom, his heart drops for a second. He hadn’t expected her to be here, not with how quiet the place is. But sure enough, there she is. Sitting on the fluffy comforter they bought together, legs tucked underneath herself. She said that comforter was the exact same shade of blue as his eyes. Now she doesn’t even lift her head to look at him, focusing only on the box resting on the bed before her.

“Hey uh — I didn’t expect to run into you.”  

“ I live here. Sorry to disappoint.“

“ I know, that’s not what I meant. It’s just so quiet. “

She shrugs but still doesn’t look up. There’s so much resentment there, dripping from every word. He can’t fault her for it. Not even a little. If he was her, he’d hate himself too. Maybe this will make it easier for them. If she hates him, that’s a straight cut. Right? Hating is easy. It’s loving that’s hard.

“ It’s like that now. You here to get some of your stuff?” she asks, looking up at him for the first time. Her eyes are red and tired. Not like they were when he left, filled with tears and sorrow. Now they’re just infinitely sad and exhausted. Like all the life and all the warmth and all the passion that he fell so deeply in love with, has been sucked out of her. He hates knowing it’s partially his fault.

“ If that’s okay with you.”

“ sure. “

The movies and the poems and the books and the songs, they never talk about this. The after. The limbo. The “will you keep this or shall I take it?”

They don’t talk about the fact that you’re supposed to pack 5 years of relationship into a bunch of boxes and figure out what to do with it.

He quietly walks into the closet, as if making any noise would break whatever bubble is currently surrounding the two of them. Sometimes he wonders if things would be different had they been different people. Had they been able to express their feelings differently. Sometimes, in the most secret part of his heart, Bucky wishes there would’ve been screaming. Maybe screaming would��ve been helpful. Sure, it’s not the most eloquent way of communication but at least it is communication. But there was no screaming. Only silence. Only feelings swallowed up to never be spoken about. To suffocate them from the inside out.

Making as little noise as possible, Bucky grabs some of his clothes and stuffs them into the duffle bag Sam gave him. He had that look on his face, the pitiful one. The one that says “sorry, man”. There’s no reason to feel sorry for Bucky. This is his fault after all.

There’s a sound coming from behind him, and for a second he really believes it’s his mind playing tricks on him. But then he hears it again, louder this time, more clearly.

She’s laughing. Maybe not a full-on laugh but a chuckle. It’s been a while since he’s heard that sound.

“ What’s got you laughing like that ? “ Bucky asks as he turns back around only to be greeted by her smiling face. God how much he misses that smile.

She looks back down towards the box in front of her and the picture in her hand.

“ It’s uh — it’s a picture of the first time you stayed over. “

His legs carry him towards the bed as if they work on autopilot. As he sits down next to he can just about make out the scent of her shampoo. The one he bought for himself last week, not because he necessarily likes to use it. He bought it because he misses the scent. Because he misses her. And if he can keep her close like this, even for a small moment, he’ll buy an entire store's worth of shampoo.

Her fingers gently grip the picture so as to not rip or crumble it. He can’t hold back the smile that pulls at the corner of his lips as he recognizes the picture. It’s a slightly less gloomy version of him, in love and asleep. Curled up on her old tiny couch in her old tiny apartment with her dog Yoda sleeping soundly on his chest. He was so nervous to stay over at her place the first time he did. Nervous about so many different things but mostly about doing something to hurt her. Physically but also emotionally. To think that now his biggest fear came true, crushes his heart even further.

“ I miss Yoda. He was a good dog,” she says as she puts the photo back into the box. Truth be told, Bucky misses him too. He was grumpy and lazy and he didn’t ever really listen to them. But he was loyal and cuddly and all in all, he was the perfect dog for the two of them. And he had accepted Bucky into his and her life immediately. As if he knew that Bucky of all people needed nothing more than a chance to prove himself to be something other than a killer.

There are more pictures in the box, alongside other clutter that Bucky can’t quite make out. One of the other pictures he can see clearly, is one of the two of them on their first Halloween. The Halloween that Bucky didn’t want to dress up for. The one he promised himself he would spend curled up on his couch watching a scary movie and not open the door to anyone, Trick or Treaters or otherwise.

He ended up going out anyway. With her. FOR her. And it was one of the best nights of his life even if it meant he had to dress up like a skeleton.

“ What is all this? “ he asks though, by the way his heart starts beating faster, Bucky isn’t sure he even wants to know the answer to that question. “ You getting rid of our pictures? “

He doesn’t want it to sound so accusatory. They’re broken up. Separated. In the early process of a divorce. She has every right to get rid of their pictures. Get rid of him. Bury the memories. Just because he can’t let go doesn’t mean that she’s grieving in the same way.

“ No, “ she scoffs and pulls out a small scrap of paper, “ this is a memory box I started when we first got together. It’s things I didn’t know where to put but that I wanted to hold on to. I had planned to give it to you for our 10 year anniversary but … well “

She doesn’t have to say it. He knows.

“ Then after the — seperation I put some other stuff in there. Memories.” 

“ Can I see what else is in there? “ he asks “ since I won’t get to see it on our 10 year anniversary.”

Bucks isn’t quite sure why he adds that to the end of his sentence. It makes him sound spiteful and mean and he can tell, by the look on her face, that it hurts her. And he’s done enough of that in the past. Isn’t that exactly the reason they are here in the first place?

She considers it for a moment and Buck can only guess the different kinds of emotions running through her then. He feels them too. All of them. They are confusing and most of them are negative. She has no reason to let him see this, relish in sweet nostalgia with him as if everything is okay and they’re not getting a fucking divorce.

“ Sure, I guess. I —  yeah.”

She scoots more to the middle of the bed, making more space for Bucky to sit down properly. He’s perched on the side that was his. The side he fell asleep on and woke up on so many times. And she was there next to him. Always there and warm and soft. And she’d smile at him through sleepy eyes and a hazy mind and she’d rival the sun. And then she’d gently comb her fingers through his hair and say good morning and he knew it would be — a good morning.

He hasn’t had a good morning since he left.

She moves the box to sit between them on the bed and motions for Bucky to start digging in.

There’s a pile of what he realizes are old movie tickets. It's something they used to do when they first started dating. Thursdays were movie days. But while everyone went to see the new blockbusters, the two of them would pick the movies that sounded the weirdest and they’d buy a big bucket of popcorn and blue raspberry slushies and just relish in the grandeur that is bad cinema. Most of the time they were the only ones at the cinema. Sometimes things got — R rated.

“ Why did we stop doing this? “ she asks as Bucky looks up from the tickets “ going to the movies I mean. It was always my favorite day of the week. “

He tries to remember. Tries to pinpoint the moment when life changed and their Thursdays weren’t their Thursdays anymore. He can’t. He comes up empty.

Sometimes life changes in little ways, ones you don’t realize at that moment and they don’t seem significant either. It’s a broken tradition. A missed movie night. It’s slow and creeping but at some point, you stop and look at your life now and it doesn’t resemble your life then anymore. Everything has changed and you didn’t even notice. Not for one single second.

“ I have —  I have no idea. “ he has to confess.

“ Remember that movie with the killer florist ? “ she asks and her voice is laced with laughter. Something sparks up in his heart. A tiny flicker of something he’s missed. Something he hasn’t felt in a while. He can’t help but laugh along.

“ I do! Or the one where the woman fell in love with the Koi in her neighbor's pond? ”

“ Oh god! That was terrible. “

“ It was.”

She looks wistful for a moment as if her thoughts wander off to some long-forgotten memory.

“ What are you thinking about? “

He never usually had to ask her. He’d either know or she’d tell him on her own accord. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between them. One he wants to break down or climb over so badly. But does she want him there? After everything?

“ The day we saw that movie was the first time you said I love you. “

It’s true. Now that she mentions it he remembers it so clearly. It’s like he’s suddenly faced with a scene from a movie he’s forgotten about a long time ago but once someone mentions it, he remembers it in great detail. Knows every word. Every line.

“ I still don’t quite know what it was about that moment that made you say it but — “ she trails off, a smile playing on her lips.

Bucky knows. It wasn’t a groundbreaking realization back then. He’d been feeling it for months. Fell deeper in love with her with every glance, every smile, every silly movie he got to watch with her. They went to some dingy diner after the movie to grab a burger and some fries. The leather seats were old and the filling was spilling out, the air smelled of grease and air freshener, and the laminated menu cards were sticky with undefinable stains. All things considered, it should’ve been a bad date. It wasn’t though. Nothing was ever bad with her. She smiled. All she did was smile and hum along to some song Bucky didn’t know as it spilled from the jukebox. And it occurred to him then, that there was no need for a big gesture or a special moment. Every moment with her was special. Life couldn’t get any better than this. Existing was enough if only she was there.

“ Nothing. “

“ Hm? “

“ There was nothing special about that moment. I just realized that I would be okay with anything if only you are there. You — that’s all I need in life. “

She looks at him then and for a second he thinks that maybe she’ll kiss him. Tell him that they are making a mistake and ask him to come back. Tell him that she doesn’t blame him. That she forgives him. That she wants him anyway. Despite — everything. She doesn’t though. Just sighs and pulls another picture from the box.

It’s a picture of the two of them cuddled up on the couch with a tiny white ball of fluff resting on her chest.

“ Our first picture with Alpine. “

“ That was taken on the day we found him. Look, you can clearly see the scratches on my face from crawling around the dumpsters to rescue him. “ Bucky points out.

He had never thought of himself as a cat person. Really he wasn’t so much an anything-person anymore, after Hydra. But somehow that little cat had wormed his way into his heart and refused to leave.

“ Was worth it though! “

Bucky nods his head in agreement “ it was. “

“ You should — you should take him. He’s really more your cat than mine.”

“ He’s our cat.” he points out.

“ Bucky there won’t be an ours anymore. Soon.”

It breaks his heart. Over and over again. He just got used to being himself. The version he was when he was with her. How is he gonna deal with doing it all over again? He doesn’t want to be a version of himself after her.

“ I don’t have a place yet and Sam’s allergic. “

“ He can stay here until then, of course. I love him. “

There’s a lot of love there that’s being given up on, Bucky realizes. And he hates every part of it.

“ Shit, remember this? “ she chimes up again as her hand holds onto a thin receipt, the black ink bleached away and thinned out from years of being stuck in a box. From years of memories fading.

“ Is that from the —”

“ The tattoo place, yeah. “

The patch of skin on the inside of his arm grows hot as if he is suddenly aware of what is there. Something long forgotten. A small letter forever etched into his skin in black ink like the way she’s forever etched into his heart. Always there. Forever. Just like the delicate lines that write his own name onto her collar bone. James. Not Bucky. Not Winter Soldier. James.

“ Oh god, I can’t believe you kept these,” Buck exclaims as he picks a pair of bright blue knitted socks from the box. They’re made from scratchy wool and there are a million and one holes in them. It’s so her. So quintessentially her. To keep them. With their holes and their scratchy wool and all. Even if they’re a mess. Even if they’re broken. She holds onto things no matter how bad. No matter how lost and sad and broken and useless. She holds on tight and doesn’t let go. Unless you make her. Unless you force her to. Unless you break her heart.

“ Umm … you made them for me. Like you literally learned how to knit to make me a pair of socks to keep my feet warm. That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Buck. Of course, I kept them. “

Bucky bashfully shrugs his shoulders, a tint of red dusting his cheeks. “ I’m glad you liked them. Even if they’re scratchy. “

“ I like you and Alpine and you guys are the scratchiest,” she points out. She’s not wrong.

“ Was I a good boyfriend? “ Bucky asks and while in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter, he wants to know anyway. Wants to know he did something right.

“ You were the best boyfriend. “

“ I’m sorry I was a shit husband. “

She stays quiet for a moment and with every second that passes by he breaks more and more. He wonders how much of him is left at this point. How much there’s still to lose. Then again, what does it matter? He lost her and that’s all that really matters.

“ You weren’t a shit husband, Bucky. “

It’s like the world suddenly moves in slow motion as they both grab the 2 things left in the box.

Bucky holds onto the blue velvet box knowing exactly what’s inside. The last time he held it, got on his knees in front of her, put the ring on her finger, that was one of the best days of his life. A sign that the Winter Soldier was his past and that he could finally truly move on. They were younger, in love. Happy. Now he hardly remembers what happiness feels like.

“ I was so nervous to give this to you. Not because I thought you’d say no or anything. I just — I just wanted to be enough. The ring and the proposal and — me. “

“ You were always enough. “ she says and he can hear the tears in her voice. It’s thick and heavy and he knows that if he looks at her now, there will be tears in her eyes too.

But he doesn’t look at her then. His eyes fall onto the piece of fabric in her hands. It’s so small. Soft peached colored with a little bunny embroidered on the front. It’s tiny and cute and it belongs to no one. It’s tiny and it should’ve been theirs. But it isn’t.

“ No, I wasn’t. He says and shakes his head. You deserve more than I can give you. “

She throws the baby romper back into the box and gets off the bed as if someone has set it on fire.

“ What’s wrong? “ he asks as if he doesn’t know. Everything. Everything about this situation is wrong. They’re supposed to make love on this bed, not cry over memories long gone. Push away thoughts of their looming divorce.

“ I don’t know, Bucky. Maybe you can tell me. “ She calls out to him as she pulls the rest of his shirts from the closet and throws them into the bedroom. Colors of fabric flying through the air like wings of a bird flapping through the winds. Some of them she lops at him, passion and anger and wrath and sadness filling her eyes. “ Maybe you can tell me why the fuck we’re doing this. Why we’re putting ourselves through all this pain and suffering and this bullshit divorce. Maybe you can tell me why you left me to have a fucking breakdown every time I walk into my closet and see this goddamn dress, “ she cries while holding up the hanger over which her beautiful white wedding dress is draped. God, she looked so beautiful that day. Like a goddess. Like an angel. Like his redemption.

“ We were happy. We were trying to have a family. And then what — it doesn’t work and you leave? You just gave up. “

“ I didn’t give up. “

“ Yes, you fucking did! You gave up and you served me divorce papers and you didn’t even give me a fucking choice. “

“ You agreed! “

“ Because I love you and if you don’t want to be with me, then I am not keeping you. I love you enough to let you be happy even if it’s without me.”

Those words send a shock through his heart. Like an icicle. Cold and sharp and unforgiving.

“ You think I don’t love you? You think YOU are the reason?,” Bucky questions before grabbing the romper from the box and holding it up “ this is the reason. This is my fault and mine alone. It’s my fault that this belongs to no one. It’s my fault that there’s an empty room in this apartment that you can’t walk into because it hurts you too much to see it empty. You deserve to be a mother and clearly, I can’t give that to you. That’s the burden I carry but it’s not one that should be put on you. I can’t give you this but you deserve it and you should have it. So this is me letting you go so you can find someone that can give you a baby. Someone who isn’t broken. Someone who doesn't have a body that doesn’t work anymore. Not in the way it should. “

“ James, “ her words a but a whisper as his name tumbles from her lips and she lets her wedding dress fall to the floor to sit next to him and hold his face in between her hands. “ That wasn’t your fault and you are not broken. I want a family, yes. I want a child. But with you. I want a family with you and it doesn’t matter if it’s my blood or not. It’s our family whichever way we decide to do this. And if we — if we stay just us and Alpine that’s fine too. I just want you and whatever else we decide on. Together. I love you, James. I love you and I miss you and I don’t want a baby if it’s not with you. A family means nothing if it doesn’t include you. Whatever the consequences of the serum are, they are not your fault. You are not broken, James. You are you. You’re a hero. A husband. And maybe one day a father but above all, you are James Buchanan Barnes, a survivor and you are not broken.  “

He knows he should be saying so many things right then but all his thoughts get tangled up and won't find the way to his lips.

Instead, he says the only other thing he can think about right then.

“ You looked so beautiful in your wedding dress. “

She laughs through the flood of tears that leak from her eyes and trail down her face.

“ I mean you always look beautiful but that day. My god. I honestly couldn’t believe you said yes to me — of all people. 106 year old me. Wouldn’t believe it until the moment you walked down the aisle. Then I knew that this was really the start of my new life. Of my forever. “

“ I miss you Bucky. “

“ I miss you too. “

“ I don’t want to divorce you. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband.”

“ Even without the babies? “

“ Yes, “ she nods and brushes her fingers through his short hair. “ You are my family James and you are enough for me. Always”

“ I love you. “ he says because really, it’s the only thing he can think of. The thing he wants most. The only thing that matters.

Without another word, he pulls the ring from the box and delicately slips it back onto her finger. Where it belongs. Where it always belonged.

“ I’m sorry I was ever this stupid. I should’ve just talked to you “

“ Yeah you should have but right now can you — can you just kiss me? “

She doesn’t need to ask him twice. He kisses her once, then twice, then once again. It’s been a long long time since the last time he’s kissed her. Too long. Way too long.

He’s not gonna stop anytime soon. Never again. Never ever again.

“ Hey, “ he says “ how about you slip into your wedding dress I think for all my stupid decisions I owe you a dance. “

“ I think you might be right. “

And she’s smiling, so bright and radiant. Like the sun. Like all the stars. Like his own personal light in the darkness.

“ Don’t expect too much though. I just cried, my hair is a mess — I won’t look the way you remember me looking in this dress. “

“ You’ll look gorgeous.”

And he’s right. She looks breathtaking. She looks like a wonderful, wonderful dream. Like love captured in a person. Like a second chance. Like his home.

There are a lot of thoughts racing through Bucky’s mind as he pulls her close and they sway to the melodic tunes of their wedding song as it sounds from the speakers of her cellphone. But above all there’s love. And the knowledge that he is enough. That they are enough. Their tiny little family. Perfect and not broken or missing anything. It’s good as it is.

They don’t have to think about who gets to keep the decorative throw pillows, the records they used to collect together, the plates that were a wedding gift, the cat. Because it’s theirs. Together. Shared.

And forever.

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ◈ you being followed

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon​ ♡ )

genre/s: comfort, skz x gn reader

warning/s: description of being followed on the street, descriptions / mentions of panic attacks

wc: 1.8k

a/n: this one took me quite a while but i’m happy with it !!! i decided to write out a longer introduction to this to kinda set up a scene !! i hope y’all enjoy it (esp the comforting parts ofc kdjdjf)

it’s somewhat unlike you to walk alone at night. you figured it would only take you a few minutes, but you got out of work late, setting you back quite a while. to make things worse, while you were working overtime, the sun had set, leaving you to traverse the dimly lit city streets on your own. all you know is that your boyfriend left the door open for you, and a couch date sounds really great right now.

somewhere along your walk, you heard a shuffling noise coming from behind you. you disregarded it, thinking it may have been simple paranoia. you’ve seen too many movies, you think. however, as you keep up your leisurely yet steady pace, you hear another noise. this time you turn around.

a man. in a black hoodie. looking you dead in the eye.

your eyes widen as a small gasp leaves your mouth. needless to say, you begin sprinting to your destination, heart racing at a pace that rivals the speed of your feet. with your focus aimed at getting as far away as you can, you’re honestly not even sure how your legs know where they’re going. nevertheless, your saving grace comes into view. after a quick glance at the now empty street behind you, you sprint even faster than before. and, once you make it to the apartment door, you fling the door open and leap inside with enough force to rattle the hinges.

“y/n? what’s wro-”

“i was being followed,” you interject, a choked sob finally escaping you.

◈ CHAN

his first instinct, no matter what, is to make sure you feel safer now.

he’ll sit you down on the couch, staying close beside you and rubbing your back while reiterating that whoever that man was is gone now.

i’ve always liked to think he’d be good to have around in the event of a panic attack. especially if you’re the type of person who needs physical and verbal reassurance. back rubs, hugging, and breathing reminders galore.

once you’ve calmed down, he would wipe away your tears and hold you close to him as he asks you about the rest of your day.

he’s an amazing listener and he can’t wait to hear about the latest employee or customer gossip lmao

but more importantly, it would take your mind off things, which is all he truly wants.

if you start looking a bit gloomy or drifting off in thought, he’d probably suggest some cuddle time !! he would make sure to remind you of how courageous you were in that moment before promising you one last time that you’re safer now, here with him.

you’d finally fall asleep in his arms, filling him with relief.

◈ MINHO

first reaction: absolutely pissed.

not at you of course, but at the guy who was following you. with you still in his arms, he glances pointedly out the front door and the windows, closing the blinds after giving the entire apartment a once-over.you end up in the bedroom, in which he’ll guide you to sit beside him on the bed.

his expression will have completely changed from anger to loving concern. he’d look deeply into your eyes while holding both your hands in his, assuring you that you’re safe now.while you continue to cry, you explain what had happened in more detail. he strokes your hair as you speak and nods along, blood boiling.

he can’t stand the thought of any person making you feel unsafe. but, he’d maintain a calm exterior in order to make you feel more at ease.

once you describe the whole situation, he’d reassure you once again that the man can’t get to you now.

“he’ll have to get through me.”

you giggle.

“hEY”

◈ CHANGBIN

i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho !!

very visibly pissed that some random guy had the nerve to intimidate you. that dude’s lucky he didn’t follow you the whole way home or else he’d probably be pretty uh. damaged. by now..

he’d sit you down on the couch, do a quick check-in at each of the windows and doors, and come back as soon as he can to console you.

when he does, he’s quick to sit beside you, arm wrapped around you with the other wiping the tears off of your face.

after you explain the situation a bit more clearly, he becomes even more angry (probably mutters some curses under his breath)

but !!!! i think he’d really try his best to focus on cheering you up

asking you what you’d like to do for the rest of the night, if you’d like any food, if you’d like to sleep or stay up for a while.. etc.

plus he’d amp up the silly antics to make you forget about things !!

◈ HYUNJIN

i think his physical reaction would become similar to yours. very quickly.

like once he sees your tears and senses your quickened pulse. his immediate response (whether voluntary or not) would be to emulate you.

so, naturally, he’d hold you in his arms and let you cry it out, while small sobs of his own escape him.

seeing you so scared is a scary feeling.

of course, he’d reassure you that you’re safe !!! he’d look into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ears, and tell you that it’s all over now and that you’re safe.

you, of course, don’t want him to feel sad or scared, so you’d console him as well.

you two would comfort each other the whole rest of the night. i think the most probable option would be the two of you cuddled up in bed watching a movie or reading webtoons together

distraction !! but make it a drama !! or a romcom because .. vibes !!

and when you decide it’s time for bed (however late that may be due to the stress from earlier) he’d be sure to remind you that he’ll be with you all night & when you wake up

(but he’s also secretly clinging onto you out of fear as well kdjfgj)

◈ JISUNG

“oh sh- oh sHIT-”

wouldn’t know what in the fuck to do

would haphazardly check all the windows like minho did, holding your hand as you continue to cry

after he’s done, he’d cling to you and hold you SO very tight <3

lots of “shh shh baby.. baby shhhh” and all that jazz.. you know the sungie vibes…

he’d stroke your hair and arms, noticing your slight shakiness and suggesting you both cuddle for some extra comfort and warmth

no matter what time of night it is, he’d turn off the lights and cuddle with you as you describe the event in more detail

quiet & calm

even if you end up crying again while you speak, he’s there to brush the tears off your face with his thumb and help you calm down again

◈ FELIX

before you came, he might have cooked a small meal for the two of you to share. even though you worked late, it’d still be waiting for you when you arrive. he’d wait too.

when you do happen to burst through the door, he’d jump and gasp out of fear but he’s quick to run up to you and hold you as you let out everything you’d held in during your walk-turned-chase

also !! will help you get settled in as you describe what went down

helping you take off your coat and shoes, getting water for you, grabbing some blankets; all while listening intently and giving you all of his attention

once you’re seated on the couch, wrapped in the softest blanket he could find and staying hydrated after such a harrowing event, he’d be sure to hold you as close as possible to remind you that everything’s okay

eventually, through his subtle gestures and calming demeanor, you won’t even realize how you got situated !! he just knows what to do to make you as comfortable as possible without even trying all that hard

you may choose to skip dinner, but no matter what, he’ll be holding you close the whole night through to make sure you know he’s there to protect and care for you

◈ SEUNGMIN

he’s very methodical about how to proceed. his first instinct is to do what some of the others would and check the house, but he decides to help you calm down first.

you’re rambling about what happened in between sobs and quick breaths, which sends a pain through his heart as he shuts and locks the door.

if you’re shorter than him, he’d bend a little to make direct eye contact with you. he’ll rub your arms and tell you that you don’t have to be afraid anymore

the most calming and reassuring voice in the whole world omg !!!!!!

he’d wipe your tears away and cup your face with both of his hands, prompting you to look back into his eyes before smiling at you

“you’re safe now, right?”

you smile back at him, nodding.

“now, let’s lock all the doors so no bad guys can get in!”

then, he’d take your hand and let you help him lock the doors and shut the curtains, making it feel like a chore instead of a precaution

and for your “good work”, he’d reward you with some binge watching & cuddle time !!! (as if that wasn’t the original plan skjdfg)

◈ JEONGIN

(under his breath, eyes wide) “oh my god…”

i think he’d start freaking out a bit like hyunjin did, but he’d do his very best to hide it. he knows he has to be strong to help you calm down and feel safe.

like felix, he’d help you take off your coat and shoes, leading you over to the couch as you shakily describe what happened.

(i’m sorry i keep making comparisons to the other members bUT) like minho, he’d hold your hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumbs to soothe your nerves as you let everything out

he’d try to cheer you up by suggesting alternative motives the man might’ve had instead of wanting to harm you

for instance:

jeongin: “what if he was lost and needed directions but he was too shy to ask because you’re so pretty/handsome?”

you: “babe i don’t think-”

jeongin: “OR what if he thought he knew you !!”

you: “but he-”

jeongin: “WHAT IF IT WAS BATMAN-”

overall, his aim is to distract you (as well as himself), which ends in success. you’ll both be in stitches by the end of the night

and… laughing is super tiring, right?

therefore, as reiterated throughout all of these reactions because we all know it’s true:

CUDDLESSSS

oh also.. right before you fall asleep in his arms, he’d ask if you want to leave the light on during the night :( bc he’s a cutie :((((

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17​, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[storyoffracturedstars]

Smile (Norton Campbell)

You wondered if there was ever a time where he smiled, if there was still happiness somewhere in his heart. You knew that everyone in this manor had stories they want to hide, stories that they never wanted to go back to.

You wondered what his was.

You found yourself glancing at his direction most of the time, his usual cold exterior present. He had only come to the manor a few days ago and you could already see how distant he is from the others. You saw how often he glares, how often he brushes people off, and how often he busts out. You had approached him once but you saw how he easily ignored you, preferring to be in the comfort of his own. That didn't mean you gave up though, you didn't know how to give up. He was just so sad and gloomy and as someone who has worked in the Hullabaloo Circus, you wanted to give him happiness. So here you were, by his side with a bottle of water and an apple in your hands.

"Yoo-hoo!" You waved your hand in front of his face, a grin plastered on your lips. "Here's a little something from me to you! I realized you didn't come down for dinner so I figured I'd bring you something."

His eyes went from the food to you, brushing you off as he continued reading his book. "Find someone else to bother."

You let out a fake cry, a hand on your chest as your face contorted into hurt. "You wound me, Norton. I'm only looking out for you."

"Well, I don't need your help!" He burst out, throwing the water bottle away, eyes cold as he glared at you. "You're annoying."

"I'm... huh?" You knew of his temper, the other survivors warned you of this but to experience it first hand, it truly was something else. You let out a nervous laugh as he continued to glare at you, soon standing up and leaving you. Before he left the room, however, he let out one last remark. "Never talk to me again, freak."

Your grin faltered, feeling a bit hurt from the statement. You knew that people tend to say things they didn't mean when they were angry so you thought little of it. "He didn't mean it." You whispered out, hugging yourself to stop the emotions you were feeling. Your smile soon turned shaky as you stared at the space where he used to be. "He didn't mean it."

'Who were you trying to fool?'

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was time for the matches and you were one of the survivors chosen to participate. You glanced at the newcomer, worried about how he'll do. This was his first time participating in a match and you know just how scary it is. You couldn't forget how terrified you were when you got picked for the matches. So, you hoped that he'd be calmer than you were, knowing that panicking wouldn't get you anywhere.

You took the seat furthest from him, settling beside Tracy. You were glad that she was in this match, seeing that it will be easy to open exit gates at the same time. You looked at her with a grin on your face. "Man, with you here, I think we'll do fine!"

"No no, I'm more at ease with you here (Y/n)." She chirped, a smile present on her lips as she tried to encourage herself. You laughed as you pat her back, slightly reassuring her that she'd be fine. "I have your back, don't worry."

You glanced in his direction, his eyes holding a distant look. It seems that he was trying his best to focus and there was no sense of nervousness from his eyes. You mentally praised him, admiring his braveness and calm demeanor. So you relaxed, already prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure no one in here gets hurt.

No one but you, that is.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You saw how he got hit, how he contained the hunter enough for all of you to decode peacefully but you couldn't find it in yourself to decode after he got hit. So you ran towards his direction, ready to contain the hunter in his stead. You soon heard your heart beat louder, signaling that you were nearing them. You ran faster, hoping that you'd get there before he'd be chaired.

When you saw him, you saw how he panicked as he threw his magnet, missing the hunter entirely. It allowed Smiley to ready his rocket in motion to swing at him, a manic grin present on his ever-smiling face. You cursed under your breath as you ran to defend him, making sure to arrive on time. You let out a small scream as you felt the familiar pain of the rocket before composing yourself to get his magnet.

Once you did, you saw that Smiley was preparing to dash and this made you run faster towards him. You felt your legs burning from all that running but you pushed yourself to the limit, soon nearing him. You waited for the magnets to work, eyes glancing at Smiley from time to time. You saw how he looked at you with fear in his eyes but you could only give him a wistful smile. "Run, Norton." You whispered out, watching as he slowly repelled from you.

You felt yourself getting hit by the wall, stunned for a few minutes by the sudden impact. Once you came to, you heard the loud beating of your heart, signaling that the hunter was near you. You cursed before looking for an escape route, finding a pallet near you and making a run for it. You heard Smiley's dash grow nearer, your heart beating louder than it ever did.'Run faster!' You mentally reminded yourself as you looked behind, Smiley growing nearer by the second.

Once you were safely behind the pallet, you pushed it down, allowing the hunter to hit it instead of you. "I'm going to get you, pesky survivor!" You heard him yell out, an eerie cackle following. You paid him no mind, running to the next kiting spot with no time wasted.

You soon heard the familiar alarm, a sense of relief flowing through your veins. However, this didn't mean that you were going to slack off. You felt healed as if you sustained no damage earlier but you knew that one hit from Smiley was enough to make you tumble.

So you ran, ran towards the direction of the exit gate, already knowing that both of them were open due to Tracy's robot. You heard Smiley activate his dash once more, making your heart beat louder. You didn't bother to look back, already knowing that looking back would only make you more nervous.

You saw the large structure of the gate, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You could also feel that Smiley was nearing your form and you hit your legs to try to run faster. 'Only a few feet left...!' You mentally thought but you felt that Smiley was nearer. You mentally braced yourself for the hit as you grit your teeth.

"I got you now!" You looked at him as he cackled, a manic grin spreading across his features.

However, the familiar dropping of the magnet was enough to reassure you that you were going to be fine. You looked at him as he changed his magnet, soon feeling a tug towards his direction. "Run." He muttered, eyes staring directly into yours before diverting his attention towards Smiley. He took aim once more and threw it directly at him, soon creating distance between the three of you. You held his hand as the two of you ran towards the exit, completely out of breath.

You let out a sigh of relief once Smiley couldn't reach you, removing your hands from his and placing them on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You could feel his stare on you as you turned around, his eyes asking all of the questions. You gestured for him to ask away, still unable to form any words due to the lack of breath. "Why did you save me?" He stared into your eyes, questioning each and every part of you. "All I ever did to you was be rude."

You could only give him a smile, hands reaching for his cheek to wipe the mud found on them. "Cause you're a friend."

He looked at you, disbelief written on his expression. You chuckled before raising your hands up in an attempt at a high five. "You did well today!" He stared at your hands before looking at you, wondering what you were doing. "Copy me!"

He did as he was told, albeit hesitantly, and you slapped your hands together, jumping a bit to reach his hands. You grinned and gave him a thumbs-up, "Let's keep up the good work!" You turned around, hands on the back of your hand as you whistled. You glanced behind you, allowing you to see the barely noticeable smile on his lips. Your heart warmed at the sight of it, mentally cheering at the small achievement.

On the other hand, Norton could only stare at his hands, a small smile tugging on his lips. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy but for the first time in his life, he didn't feel alone.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[eclipsedpascal]

Making Daddy Proud

Stepdad!Duncan x Female Reader

After moving in with your estranged mother and her new husband, Duncan Shepherd, you started to grow very close to your new stepdad. The two of you had a great relationship and he was doing his best to be a good father figure for you, knowing you missed your dad so much. But there was a problem, you found yourself insanely attracted to him and were starting to notice little things indicating he might feel the same way.

Warnings: very inappropriate relationships, Stepfather/stepdaughter relationship, Cheating is ofc implied, 20+ year age gap, daddy kink, unprotected sex (but I kinda imagined the reader to be on birth control so is okie😌) fingering (female receiving), choking, vaginal sex, oral (male receiving) and face fucking😃

Notes: Okie sooo I know some people will hate this fic and ofc I understand that, but if you do hate it then please don't send me any hate!! just don't read it🖤 anywayss I got dis ask saying "Concept: Stepdad Duncan x naive reader😉" nd omg i LOVE the whole concept of Stepdad!Duncan sm, like if you've been in the fandom for a while you'll probably know the fic "The Hand That Robs the Cradle" by Langdonsrapture nd that fic was my holy grail when it came out!! so you know I just had to go all out here nd get carried away writing it hehe:')

word count: 5.4k

●●●●●●●●

The opportunity to study political science at American University in Washington DC had been one you simply couldn’t pass up on, but unfortunately it meant moving away from your father to stay closer to campus grounds. You knew it was worth it in the long run, I mean you had been waiting on this chance for years and wanted to make your father proud, but you would miss him.

He was never home too much, always busy working, but he meant the world to you. It had been just the two of you for a long time now. Your mother had moved away once their divorce finalised 7 years ago, impulsively leaving you in his custody as she ran off and gallivanted around the world, meeting all sorts of interesting men she would tell you about.

Luckily for you, she had settled down with one of those interesting men in DC recently, and upon discovering your acceptance into the prestigious university she had offered you a place to stay whilst you studied.

It was a frightening move to make, but staying with your mother in DC had actually been pretty interesting. You hadn’t spent time with her in so long and it had been nice to catch up with her, I mean sure she had been a little distant, but that was expected with having not spent any real time with her in so long.

You were just grateful she had let you stay with her in the first place, thinking she would have probably preferred to be left alone with her new husband, Duncan Shepherd.

They had been married about four months when you moved in and from what you could see, things were going well; especially considering she had sprung the engagement on everyone pretty fast. You were just happy knowing she was happy.

Though you had only met the man in question once before moving in, he really seemed like a perfect partner. He didn’t have a single obvious flaw to him, but see that was the problem. He was completely flawless to you.

You had tried to find things you didn’t like about him, even just tiny things, thinking hating him would be far better than thinking of him the way had been, but no matter what you did, you just couldn’t seem to fault him. And the longer you stayed with them, the worse your little problem became.

You weren’t 100% sure of how old he was. You only knew he was in his early to mid forties. But being at least 20 years your senior, you knew he was definitely old enough to be fulfilling the role he was as your stepfather. It felt strange to have a new stepdad at the age of 20, (almost 21) but it was even stranger with you being so blindly attracted to him.

And it wasn’t even just his looks. Though, yes, they were quite the spectacle, it was more than that. He was confident and cocky, always knowing exactly what to do and say to make the people around him do whatever he wanted them to. He could make you laugh until your stomach was in cramps, and not just through telling dad jokes. Charisma rolled off of him in waves.

He was intuitive and crafty; smart to put in plainly. And his interests appeared to be more intellectually based than anything else, which was quite the opposite of your mother, so it baffled you as to how your mother had managed to snatch him up so easily in the first place.

Now it’s not that you were jealous, really. It was more that you didn’t understand how these two polar opposite personality’s had ended up colliding together in the manner that they had.

Whenever the three of you would sit and have an evening meal together, Duncan always made you feel welcomed in the conversation, which was a great comfort to both you and your mother, being the relationship you had was so strained. Because of this and the fact you both had quite a lot in common when it came to your interests, Duncan and you had become almost good friends in the small time that you had been living there.

It was obvious he was doing his best to be some kind of fatherly figure to you. knowing that you were missing your actual dad, he did his best to help you with the things he knew your dad usually would. Whether it was school work or just having someone to joke with from time to time. He was there.

Sometimes when he was there, though, you felt like maybe, just maybe, he felt something more too. Such as the moments where his stares would linger on your form for just a little too long, or the way he would sometimes fix your hair for you if it had strayed across your face the wrong way. Just small things he did that fatherly figures didn’t typically tend to do with their daughters; especially when his wife, your mother, was right there. Sure, she seemed oblivious to it, but you certainly weren’t.

●●●●●●●●

Taking your now lukewarm cup of coffee from the breakfast bar counter, you brought it to your lips and gulped the bitter liquid down, fighting viciously to stay alert. It was nearing 3am and you had been writing for hours. Concentrating was no longer your most favourable asset and your half lidded eyes were growing wearer by the minute, but you just had to finish this paper.

It was 17 percent of your grade and due in two weeks. A persuasive essay on propaganda within the current American political climate and you had been slowly working at it for weeks, but you knew if you left it hanging over your head any longer it would drive you insane.

Sitting back in the stool you resided on, you took quick solace in the many noises coming from the ajar kitchen window, listening to a low rumble of thunder, accompanied by the constant pitter patter of rain falling from the gloomy DC sky above. It had been hot and humid all week, eventually cultivating into large clouds that had now given in, spilling out showers for almost the entire day past.

You recalled all the time you’d spent by the pool with your mother and Duncan in the past week, enjoying the current heatwave by sunbathing next to it on one of the many loungers. The house was kind of set up like a hotel that way. With Duncan always needing to be prepared for any events he may have to hold for his company’s business associates or press, he had furnished the home with what was to the three of you, unnecessary seating and tableware; amongst other things.

You stirred, returning your eyes back to the last few lines you had written and attempted to go over them in your head, but quickly realised you couldn't even manage that without stumbling over them or jumbling the words up beyond comprehension.

Abruptly interrupting your confused stream of thought, was the kitchen door groaning open. So with a frown plastered to your face, you shot your head up to recognise the intruder. But your frown was quickly blown away at discovering that it was Duncan who had entered the balmy room, and he was in more glory than you had ever seen him.

You had seen his silhouette whilst he showered before. Having gone into his and your mother’s shared bedroom whilst searching for earrings, you had seen him through the whited out, frosted glass of the on-suit bathroom door. But this was something entirely different. This was him, stood in kitchen doorway with nothing on but his grey Calvin Klein boxers.

“Y/N? I didn’t know you were still up.” He quirked a brow at you, wondering why you were still sat in the kitchen so late at night. You swallowed deeply at the sight of him. Your eyes magnetised to his body, dilating with such a sultry image before them. Pulling your eyes back up to his face, you hoped he hadn’t seen their little detour down to his crotch.

“Uhm.. i’m, uh.. w-working on an essay.” Fuck! He’ll definitely know how nervous you are now. You looked away from him, too embarrassed to face him and cringing at your own attempt to speak. “It’s due in next week and I wanted to get it finished.” Okay that’s better, you thought. Maybe he’ll just think you’re just too tired to have a proper conversation or something.

“Oh, right,” he trailed off, looking you up and down a bit as he walked further into the room. You watched the back of his head as he opened the fringe, holding it open and scanning the contents of it. Deciding on a small bottle of water, he retrieved it from the middle shelf before closing the door and walking over to lean on the opposite side of the counter from you.

He didn’t seem too bothered by the fact he was practically undressed in front of you. Of course, you weren't complaining, but it was interesting. You tried to think of something else you could add to your open word document, wanting to distract yourself from his displayed body. But thinking as hard as you possibly could, your mind still brought you nothing.

You awkwardly pulled at the sleeve of your oversized ‘American University” sweater and hoisted it back up onto your shoulder. It had ridden down your arm whilst you were aggressively fiddling with your fingers - a nervous habit you had developed in your early teens. People would often point it out to you, but it was just one of those things you couldn’t stop doing.

There was a deafening silence stuffed between the two of you. So looking around the room, you tried to focus on anything in your line of vision that wasn’t him. It was just too hard seeing him like; his plump lips wrapped around the bottle’s mouth as he drank, his sleepy un-styled curls falling just above his perfectly manicured brows and wearing nothing but those fucking grey boxers. He was making it unbearably hard not to stare.

Deciding to speak, you cleared your throat. “So did you just wake up? Or could you not sleep?”

“Just couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about the most random shit.. and you know how your mom is, she snores a lot.” He chuckled. His eyes never leaving you, beginning to feel as if they were boring holes into your soul as you kept full eye contact with him.

“Yeah, that must get pretty annoying.” You nodded slowly, thinking about how many nights you had spent wide awake when you were younger, all due to her roaring, loud snores passing through the paper thin walls of your childhood home.

“It does.” A smile played on his lips, taking another swig of water before speaking again. “so what’s the essay about?”

“It’s that one I was telling you about a few weeks ago, if you remember. it’s a persuasive on propaganda within the current American political climate.” You reminded him of the conversation you had about it when he dropped you off to class one morning not too long ago. The two of you often carpooled together, with the University campus being so close to his office, it made for an easy drive on the days he was needed in.

You guys would listen to playlists together on the drive and make fun of each others music taste, that was when you weren’t too busy being amazed by how similar they could be.

“Are you struggling with it? I mean, it is getting pretty late now.” He turned to check the clock which hung on the wall behind him, then looked back at you questioningly.

Duncan was good at helping you with this kind of thing. He was extremely well versed in politics, with his family’s background and all. Your mom had told you he used to be very involved with the white house, saying when he was younger he even went to prison for a short time before president underwood had pardoned him.

“I just can’t concentrate, but I really need to get it done or it’ll stress me out.” You lifted your bare feet up onto the stool seat, your knees coming up to your chest so you could rest your chin on them. You were only wearing panties with the sweater, it being too hot to wear anything more.

“Can I come over and check it?” He closed his bottle of water, tightening the lid with his muscular arms as he spoke. You had almost forgot he wasn’t wearing much before he said this, but watching him screw the bottle cap on as he asked to could come round to your side of the counter? It had you weak for him all over again.

“Uh.. yeah, course.” He padded his bare feet over the white, tiled flooring towards you, placing the bottle down on the counter and moving behind you to read the most recent paragraphs you had written. His hand was stretched over to the other side of you, resting on the edge of the breakfast bar as the skin of his arm grazed across your back.

Even with you being sat on such a tall stool, he still managed to tower over you. His hight was usually intimidating as it was, but with the added factor of him being almost completely undressed it was even worse. A small waft of air blew his expensive cologne towards you, creeping past your nostrils and possessing your senses completely before you started to feel his breathe on your upper neck. It wasn’t heavy, but it was enough to make your cunt start pulsating.

You were disgusted by yourself. He’s your mother’s husband! And your Stepdad! What the fuck was wrong with you? You could only imagine what people’s reactions would be if they knew of the truly sinful thoughts you had about him, and you hated yourself for it.

He was your type, yes. A rich, older man who wasn’t actually an asshole, and they were hard to come by, but that wasn’t relevant. You needed to control yourself. No matter how hard that may be.

“What you have so far is really good. Your argument is strong and as always with your work, it’s written well. You’re smart, Y/N. It’s impressive.” He humoured himself with a scoff, his voice interrupting your lewd thoughts.

You blushed at his compliment, hiding your face behind your knees slightly and looking up at him. “Thanks, Duncan.” You knew he was just trying to be a good dad figure to you, but you couldn’t help being attracted to the way he was so caring for you. Maybe it’s fucked up, but it’s not your fault all you need is an older man’s approval to become turned on.

“I mean it.” He looks so sincere as he talks to you. His face would be intimately close to yours if you hadn’t hidden it from him earlier. You notice his eyes flicker down to your lips for a split second, and then back up to your eyes again. His stare no longer felt friendly, but more.. lustful. Were you crazy or was he really doing this?

Suddenly he looks away from you, moving his eyes back to the laptop’s screen. “Maybe you should just get some sleep. I know you said it’ll stress you out, but if you get some rest you’ll be able to get back into it tomorrow with better concentration.” He does his best to steer the conversation back to where is once was, reminding himself that you’re his fucking step daughter and that he has a beautiful wife sleeping just upstairs.

“I know that, its just..” You sighed, blinking up at him. You brought your legs back down you hang over the edge of the seat, but you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was to you, wanting to do nothing more than to drape your arms behind his neck an-.

“Nope I won’t listen to it. From what I can see it’s an incredibly strong piece of work already, so just go get some sleep and come back to it in the morning, okay sweetheart?” He laughed a little, looking down at you again.

That nickname. Sweetheart. He called you it all the time and yet it always managed to take your breath away. But the thing is, he usually wasn’t this close to you when he did. So when you squeezed your legs together and bite down on your bottom lip, doing your best to ease the overwhelming desire you felt for him in that moment, there was no way he hadn’t seen it.

You were frozen staring at him, his face static and unreadable. You hoped he didn't choose to shout at you for how repulsive your behaviour was, or maybe he would kick you out? Your mind began spiralling, wrapping itself in intricate knots as you held your breath, awaiting a reply from him.

“Do you like that? When I call you sweetheart.” His voice was deep, sultry and dripping with desire. Shock coursed through you. That was definitely not what you had expected him to say. He seemed even larger now, his confidence making you feel small in comparison as your mind scrabbled to find the words you were supposed to use in your current predicament, but it never found any.

"You like it when daddy gives you nicknames?” He moved his hand up and delicately grasped the skin where your neck met your jaw, his eyes half lidded with lust. Your heart was beating so fast now and your breathing had grown shallow. You were so lost for words, only able to whimper out a weak “yes” before looking down to his boxers, trying to avoid his eyes but still wanting him just as much as he now appeared to want you.

He lifted your chin and kissed you roughly, drinking in your lips as if you were the water he had ventured down stairs for all along; and you began to wonder if you perhaps were. Maybe you were what he had been craving, just as you had been craving him.

He pulled the stool closer to him with his spare hand, leading you to wrap your legs around his torso as you tangled your tiny fingers through his sleep rustled hair. It was passionate. His kiss was sloppy, yet perfectly executed as his tongue slipped past your lips to glide over your own. His greying stubble dug into your skin, burning it with pure contact.

You parted to breath; and for just a moment, though it felt like hours, you stared into each others eyes with a ferociously neither of you could nor wanted to tame.

He tuts. “You really shouldn’t drink so much coffee little one, it’s not good for you. And it’s all I can taste.” He couldn’t help but reprimand you for the little habit, he had just gotten so used to doing it over the past three months, and using it to tease you sounded even more appealing.

You opened your mouth to speak, but were cut off when he lunged at you again, kissing you viciously. He began to move his hands all across your body, his fingertips grazing over every inch of you they possibly could as he started to undress you, pulling your oversized sweater above your head and taking handfuls of your breasts. He was kneading them, leaning down to kiss and suck on them whilst he watched you throw your head back, completely enthralled by him.

You were taken aback by how quick things had escalated, your sense of control had deteriorated far too rapidly and was ebbing away even further with each little kiss he left on your skin.

His large hand slid down to your panties, playing with the lacy bow that was centred on the waist band. He hovered his hand over your heat, cupping it and feeling just how sticky you had become for him. You let out a moan, all sense of wrong and right leaving you completely as you uttered a soft “Daddy” and ground your cunt into the palm of his hand.

“That’s right. So desperate for daddy.” He mused, ripping your thin underwear off and dropping it down onto the floor beneath you. Bringing his face to yours again, your noses bumped and leant on each other for some kind of purchase, the both of you watching his hand as he rubbed his fingers through your folds, gathering a fair amount of slick on them before pressing two inside you.

“Ahh!!” You let out a moan, it was louder than you expected and reminded you of what was really going on here. Having been too caught up in the moment, you hadn’t even thought about how being complete fucking naked with your step father between your legs would look if your mother had decided to come downstairs.

“Ah, ah, shh baby. We don’t wanna get now caught do we?” His breathe was hot on your lips, whispering as to not alert anyone. “So tight.”

You whispered back. “I’m sorry daddy, it was an accident- mmph!” You muffled your moan.

“That’s it. Who’s my good girl?” He lay a gentle peck on you lips, only stopping as to allow you to answer his question.

“I am daddy!! I’m your good girl!” You spoke with urgency, but did your best to keep the volume low, which was quite the struggle in between moans. Duncan could see this, so he pressed your lips together. Kissing you into a muffled silence.

You felt his spare hand on your neck, squeezing it just enough for you to still breathe okay when he pulled away from your mouth, moving his lips to the shell of your ear and biting the lobe. He murmured in your ear. “Do you know how hard it was, this week? Having to sit there next to your mom at the poolside and see you just lying there like that?! That fucking bikini. It took everything in me not to cum right there.”

His fingers were moving slowly, going in deep and curling up against your g spot, making you cry out and lean on his shoulder, biting it to keep yourself quiet. he started to rub your clit in hard circles. He was so experienced. It was mind-blowing.

“Would it have served you more pleasure to know, I only wore it for you?” It was true, you had only worn it for him and it had obviously worked. You certainly had his attention now. He growled at this, pulling his fingers out and slapping your cunt.

He yanked your neck closer to him, speaking down to you. “Just for that? Get on your fucking knees.” As soon as he let go of your throat you were climbing off the stool and onto the floor. The heat of the room, and of your acts too, made the marble tiling feel like ice pressed onto your flushed skin. But you didn't care.

You watched him pull his boxers down, cock springing free, adjacent to his stomach. Never having been with anyone of this size before, you had never seen a cock this big. You reached out and touched it, feeling just how hard he was. He hissed at the contact, looking down at you as you watched his facial expressions with wide eyes.

You played with it in your hand, stroking it with one and palming his balls with the other. He stroked his fingers through your hair, giving you a reassuring look as you licked the tip. The salty taste hit your tongue, making you crave his cock even more. So without another second going to waste, you took him into your mouth as far as you could.

“Ahh fuck!” You began bobbing your head, your eyes fixed on him as a groan left his lips. He was watching you intently, threading his fingers through your hair and onto your scalp to get a good grip on your head. You let your jaw go loose, knowing what he was about to do and preparing yourself for it.

He started thrusting his hips into your face, his cock hitting the back of your throat with almost every shove. You had honestly impressed yourself, I mean you knew you gave good head, but taking a cock this big as it fucked into your throat was something to be proud of.

“Mmm that’s it sweetheart.” Your stomach fluttered at his approval. The gagging noises you were making giving him even more pleasure. “You just wanna make daddy proud, don’t you princess?” You mumbled a wet “yes daddy” around his cock, sending sweet vibrations through it as he pushed himself as far as he could into your throat.

You couldn't even fathom how this was happening. You had pictured this moment late at night with a vibe pressed to your clit far too many times to count, so it finally happening was something hard to comprehend. Somehow he looked even more handsome from down on your knees than you had ever imagined he would. His stubble contouring his face perfectly with the ‘o’ his lips were forming.

Suddenly pulling you off of him, you gasped out for oxygen and tried to wipe away some of the saliva dribbling down your chin. It was like a snapshot from one of Duncan’s wet dreams. You looked so incredibly fucked out. He thought it was beautiful.

“Come on little one, stand up. Daddy wants to fuck that tight little pussy of yours.” You moaned as he talked down to you, stroking his calloused thumb over your bottom lip and pulling it down just to watch it bounce back up again.

You stood up, finally wrapping your arms around his shoulders like you had wanted to all this time. He pulled you in for a kiss, one much slower than the rest, communicating something more to you than just pure sexual carnality. His embrace was comforting, making you feel protected and small in his arms.

His hands grabbed at your ass as he picked you up, sitting you back down onto the bar stool and adjusting the hight while his lips stayed connected to yours. Once the seat was low enough for his liking, he picked up your thighs, shelving them onto his hips and laying you back just enough so that you could lean on the backrest.

The room was sweltering, your body hot against his and anticipating having him buried inside you was getting too much to handle. He dragged his cock through your lips, teasing your clit and moving back down to almost enter you, but he never would. Just wanting to get you all worked up and loving the way you would squirm when he did.

“Daddy.. please.” You steadied yourself by holding on to the sides of the seat, hoping he would end his tournament and fuck you already.

He slid the head barely into you. “Hmm… Since you were so polite, suppose daddy should reward you.” He spoke calmly before snarling and stuffing himself into you, pushing as deeply as he physically could. He felt your walls clamp around him as he set his pace. It was a lot. Having never taken a cock this big and the fact he didn’t even let you adjust, you couldn’t help but wail out.

He shot his hand up to cover your mouth, needing to keep you quiet and seeing you clearly couldn’t do it yourself. “Wouldn’t want to wake up mommy now, would you baby?” you attempted to utter a “No daddy”, but his hand kept your lips glued shut.

He fucked you. Like really really fucked you. He was making the stool shuffle underneath you, the powerfulness of his thrusts causing you to slide down in the seat. The only reason you didn’t slip off completely being the barbarian hold he had on your hips.

It actually surprised you how rough he was. A pleasant surprise, of course, but he had been so delicately caring towards you since becoming your step father and now here you were, receiving the best of both worlds.

The closer you grew to your high, the more incoherent your thoughts became. His eyebrows were scrunched together, lips trembling as he picked you up off the seat and held you closer to him. Supporting your ass, his hips ricocheted up and off yours as he tried desperately not to yell out.

His thumb was brought back down to your clit as he pressed you up against him, swiping at it hellishly, trying to hurry up your release upon feeling your legs begin to quiver; and knowing his own was approaching rapidly.

“That’s it sweetheart, come around daddy’s cock… Gonna cum so fucking deep inside your cunt. Would you like that?” You could see a thin line of perspiration cascading down his cheekbone, he was almost breathless and his thrusts were messier now.

“Yes da-AHH!“ you whipped a hand up to your face, holding your mouth shut as you came. You dug the hand you had placed on his shoulder deep into his skin and was quickly reminded of his marriage to your mother. You hoped you hadn't left any nail indents she might see.

You felt his hot seed spurt onto your walls as he rested his head on yours, mouth open wide and letting out a silent groan. His release was long and powerful. The both of you were left panting, the only noise in the room being your own breaths and a small creak from the stool when he softly set you down onto it.

He pulled out, your mixed juices gushing out of you along with the sexual haze you had been overcome with. The severity of what you had just done began to settle in. His head still resting on yours as you started freaking out, contemplating what would happen if your mother was to ever find out what had just occurred.

You wrapped your arms around his back, needing his comfort and squeezing him in an urgent hug, which he returned. his fingers stroked the sweaty skin of your back, trying to ease the thoughts he too had running through his mind. He lifted your chin up, the look he had in his eyes telling you everything would be okay.

Kissing you cautiously, he savoured the feeling of your lips on his and prayed he would get a chance to feel them again. “Are you okay?” He whispered

You didn’t really know if you were. On one hand, that was something you had wanted for a long time and it had been far better than you ever imagined, but on the other you had just helped your stepfather cheat on your mother. “I don’t know. I think so.”

He stood up, grabbing your sweater and panties, handing them to you before putting his boxers back on. “Well, at least that paper won’t seem like such big problem now.” He chuckled, doing his best to find humour in a humourless situation.

You giggled a little, hurrying to throw on your sweater and being reminded of how he had ruined your panties. “True. Now this can hang over my head instead.” You wiped any left over salvia you had on your face onto your sleeve and thought about how you would probably need to shower after this. “At least the sex was worth it, right?”

He sent you a dark smirk, picking up his bottle of water and walking towards the kitchen door. “It was. hopefully it'll be just as good next time too.” You opened your mouth, faking shock at his confidence as you watched him open the door.

“Goodnight Y/N” He gave you one last look as he sauntered through the door, getting ready to close it behind him and leave you alone in the kitchen with no one but your thoughts. The thoughts of your acts. Remembering all the little moments you had just shared together.

In that last moment before he left, you struck eye contact with him, chewing your inner lip and speaking.

“Goodnight, daddy.”

●●●●●●●●

Thank you sm for reading!🥺🖤

Tags: @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @ntxoza @blakescoven @ghostangels @jimmason @fernfiction @brattylovee @7-wonders @angelicmichael @melodylangdon @instincts-baby i'm so so sorry if you don't like this kinda fic or it has triggered you in anyway, but just let me know if it has and I won't tag you in this kind of thing ever again! You can also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list too:)

[spine-buster]

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | five

A/N: This is the last part of this mini series!  I know this adventure was short but thank you all for coming along on the ride :)    A quick reminder that I will be announcing my new fic, who it will feature, a small blurb, & a clue as to what to expect from it this Thursday at 7:30pm EST.  Happy reading!

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); parent death; swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

                                                               *     *     *     *     *

“You look beautiful, baby,” Brock cooed as he adjusted his cufflinks – well, not really.  He was looking at Grace, not really caring about his cufflinks.  Seeing her stand there in her beautiful dress, her hair curled and pinned, and her delicate jewelry hanging off her ears, neck, and wrists…she was a vision.  He was so lucky.

They were about to leave to attend the Parkinson’s Foundation of British Columbia Gala.  Grace had planned virtually the whole thing, though she worked with the head of the foundation on most major decisions.  She arranged the venue, catering, got major sponsors (okay…the biggest were her uncles, but there were a lot more), organized the silent auction, and arranged the entertainment for the evening.  Everyone who attended their weekly meetings would be there.  Brock knew the Aquilinis would be there.  It was a party, yes, and a function to raise money, yes – but at the end of the day, it was a culmination of Grace’s strength after Hamish passed away.

“Thanks, babe,” she smiled over at him, taking one last look at herself in the mirror.  “Are Petey and Svea ready to go?”

Brock nodded.  “Petey’s been texting for fifteen minutes asking if we’re on our way yet,” he joked.

“You can blame it on me,” she winked.  “Unless Petey takes a good look at your hair.  Then he’ll know it was you.”

Brock laughed out loud, taking the few steps needed to stand right in front of her and wrap his arms around her.  “Hey…before we go,” his voice was low and he looked down at Grace.  “Your dad would be so proud of you for planning this.”

Grace nodded her head.  She knew.  It was a lot of work, and she completely went in head first with planning all of it and maybe, sort of taking over the entire operation, but it was worth it.  She had planned something that would raise money that, hopefully, would fund research so that nobody would have to go through what she went through.  She didn’t just want to be known as an heiress daughter of a billionaire; she wanted to be known as so much more.  An heiress who used her money to fund research projects and arts centres; an heiress who donated her time and money to worthy causes.  She once told Brock that she knew she wasn’t the smartest girl in the world, but that she thought she had a big heart.  She hoped this was the start of others in her community, and in Vancouver, realizing that she had a big heart.

***

“Grace, this is amazing,” Svea couldn’t help but say astonishingly as she took yet another look around the giant room, decorated to the nines with flashing lights and impeccably dressed people chatting and drinking and dancing.  Svea knew Grace would be busy throughout the night, so she wasn’t trying to hog her after their limousine ride together.  But now that Svea got her alone, she had to verbalize it again, just like she did when she walked in.  “Like, I don’t think you understand.  It’s incredible.”

“Want to let me plan your wedding to Elias?” Grace winked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Oh shut up.”

“There she is!” the women both heart Elias yell.  They turned around and saw him and Brock walking towards them, both with drinks in their hands.  “Grace, this is so cool.”

“Thanks Petey.  And thanks for donating your jersey.”

“Anything for you.”

Grace focused her attention on Brock.  “Esther wants us to take a group photo with everyone before everyone leaves,” she said, and Brock nodded his head in agreement.  She looked at Elias.  “If I get everyone together right now, do you mind taking it?”

“Like I just said Grace, anything for you.”

***

Fatigued, physically and mentally exhausted, but still somehow feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, Grace climbed into the limousine with Brock, Elias, and Svea at the end of the gala so they could go home.  They dropped off Elias and Svea first, naturally, and Elias had to wake Svea up as she slept on his shoulder throughout the ride.  It left Brock and Grace alone in the limousine together, hands clasped together as the driver drove through the streets of Vancouver.

“You did amazing tonight,” Brock mumbled, his voice low and full of sleepiness but still so direct and meaningful.  “I love you so much, Grace.”

“I love you too, Brock.”

“When we have kids, I’m gonna let them know this was the night I knew you’d become my wife.”

Grace stiffened at Brock’s words, but he was too tired to notice – the small smirk on his face not disappearing despite anxiety – not adrenaline – now coursing through Grace’s veins.  She thought about the implications of his words, how he just outright admitted that she was the one for him.  She thought about her feelings for him, and if she felt the same.  She did.  But was it possible to still be apprehensive?  She loved Brock with her whole heart.  She’d never met anybody like him, and likely would never meet anyone like him again.  She loved him too, with everything she had.

But then she thought about her parents.

Her parents were young and in love once too.  Her parents were once obsessed with each other and madly in love.  Her parents had decided to get married and have a child.  Her parents had decided what Brock was laying out on the proverbial table – what Brock was so willing to give her – and look what happened.  Things didn’t work out.  Love didn’t work out.  Love was complicated.  They separated.  Grace went to live with Eliza but didn’t like it because she missed dad.  She told Hamish who told his lawyers.  His lawyers brought it to the judge.  Divorce proceedings started.  Grace went to live with Hamish.  Eliza demanded alimony for her lifestyle, to maintain it, if not to exceed it.  Eliza demanded child support.  Eliza demanded nannies, a multi-million dollar house, and expensive cars.  Hamish would tell Grace her mother was selfish.  Eliza would tell Grace how stingy her father was.  Eliza would tell Grace how her father only wanted custody so he didn’t have to pay child support.  Hamish told Grace Eliza only wanted child support and alimony so she could hire babysitters and nannies while she went to spas.  A pawn while she was at her mom’s in Shaughnessy; a pawn while she was at her dad’s in West Point Grey.  A pawn when dropped off at school at Crofton House.  A pawn at the dance studio, her happiest place.

What if she and Brock turned out the same way?

***

“You okay?” Brock asked Grace.

Grace wasn’t there.  She was somewhere else, in her mind, thinking about events long passed.  “Your father’s the cheapest man I’ve ever met,” she could hear her mom say in the kitchen as she waited for her cereal before school at seven years old.  “Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap!  He’s always been so much work to be with, your father.  He refuses to get you a Range Rover – did you know that?  Your dad wants you driven around in some…in some…I don’t know, some Toyota.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Grace said absent-mindedly, giving her pasta a few more twirls to make it seem like she’d eat it.  “Will I still be able to go to dance?”

“Who knows?!  Your father may even take that away from you too!  It scares me, the things he’s taking away from you.”

“But I love dance.”

“Well then maybe you should stay with me.  Daddy will pay me to take you to dance.”

***

“Your mother is a piece of work, let me tell you,” Hamish mumbled as he slapped his cellphone down on the counter.  “She was always so much work to be with.  Always so much work.  Now she wants $60,000 a month in alimony.  Alimony!”

“What’s alimony?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hamish said.  “Have your teachers taught you yet what it means to be selfish?” he asked.  Grace nodded her head.  “Well your mother is selfish.  One of the most selfish people in the world.”

“Grace?  You coming to bed?” Brock’s voice was groggy as he stood in the doorway of the ensuite, his usually well-kept hair everywhere, his eyes sleepy.

“Yeah…yeah, sorry,” Grace apologized, getting up from her seated position on the toilet lid.  “Sorry baby.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.  Yeah I’m fine,” she said, grabbing Brock’s hand and leading him back to bed.

“You’d tell me if it wasn’t right?” he asked softly as she cuddled up against him in bed.

“Of course,” she said, a nervous lump in her throat.  “Of course.”

***

“Gracie…please tell me what’s wrong,” Brock said in a low voice as he tried to wrap his arms around her, only for her to flinch slightly and back away.  That hurt him more than anything.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said unconvincingly.

“Yes it is—”

“Can we just drop it,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee.  “We’re supposed to be on a date.”

***

“What’s the matter with you?” Elias asked, sick of seeing Brock so gloomy and moody the past several weeks.  He’d noticed a change in him, and though Brock was usually very open about what he was feeling with him, he wasn’t this time, and Elias was…skeptical.  Well, not skeptical – worried.  This time, Brock had a girlfriend and was moody, and Elias didn’t know what to expect.  “What’s going on?”

“Something’s wrong with Grace,” Brock revealed to Elias.

“What’s wrong?”

Brock shook his head.  “She won’t tell me.  But she…she zones out a lot, like she’s thinking about something…and it’s so intense that she doesn’t even hear me calling her.”

“What’s she thinking about?”

Brock shrugged.  “She doesn’t tell me.  She’ll never tell me.”

“Well when did it start?”

Brock thought about it.  He really thought about it.  He liked to think he was in tune with changes in Grace.  “The gala.”

“The Parkinson’s Gala?” Elias clarified.  Brock nodded his head.  “Well, could it be about her dad?”

“It’s something more,” Brock was adamant.  He knew she would be sad and would never be the same after her dad died.  That was a given.  No-one was ever the same after the death of a parent, so he didn’t blame her for that.  “It’s…it’s something more.”

***

“Is everything okay with you?” Svea asked delicately as she and Grace were shopping at Holt Renfrew.  Well – Grace was shopping at Holt Renfrew.  Svea was basically just following her around, because it wasn’t like she could afford anything.

“I’m fine,” Grace said unconvincingly.  

“Are you sure?  Because you know you can talk to me if things aren’t okay.”

Grace took a deep breath in, trying to compose herself.  Knowing what she knew about Svea’s parents and their love story, she doubted that Svea would be able to provide any…critical insight, so to speak.  But Grace tried anyway.  “How d’you know a guy is your soulmate, Svea?” she asked.

Svea was taken aback.  It was quite the loaded question to lead with.  “I’d say it’s when you can picture the rest of your life with them.  At least that’s one aspect to it.”

“Can you picture the rest of your life with Elias?”

“Yes,” Svea answered automatically, because she could.  It was as friends, sure, but she still pictured the rest of her life with him.  “Can you picture the rest of your life with Brock?”

Grace paused.  Her response wasn’t as quick or forthcoming.  “Yes.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“There was a pause there,” Svea said.  “But what?”

“But what if, like, things change?” Grace asked.  “What if the love doesn’t last?  What if it breaks down?”

“You mean like your parents?”

Grace didn’t want to glare at Svea – she really didn’t, because Svea was one of the sweetest people alive – but she did.  She glared at her.  “No,” she said forcefully, trying to cover.

“Love always lasts.  True love always lasts.  Look at Elias and I – I mean, we’ve loved each other our whole lives—”

“You and Elias won’t even hold hands or kiss each other,” Grace said angrily, unable to control her emotions at this point.  “You won’t even admit you love him romantically.  How the hell is that love?”

Svea just stared at Grace, unable to formulate words.  Tears welled in her eyes too, and when Grace saw them get red, she hated herself even more.  She hated herself already for making Brock worry, for not telling him the truth, for hiding things from him; now, she hated herself even more for making Svea emotional.  “I’ve gotta go,” she said, leaving quickly, unable to look back at Svea as she left her in the middle of Holt Renfrew alone.

***

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong right now or I’m leaving,” Brock said sternly, his voice raised.  Both of their voices had been for the last while now, since they were fighting.  He looked at Grace as she stared back at him indignantly from across the kitchen.  “We can’t have a relationship if we don’t communicate – if you don’t tell me what’s been bothering you.”

“There’s nothing wrong.”

“Is it something I did?  Did I say something?”

“It’s not you.”

“Then what is it?”

“There’s nothing wr—”

“Tell me what’s wrong!”

Grace stayed silent.  She could feel herself going red.  She could feel the emotions in her bubble up.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it in much longer.  “Leave.”

Brock furrowed his brows.  “Excuse me?”

“Leave my apartment now.”

Brock stood stoic in spot.  “You don’t mean that—”

“LEAVE!” Grace screamed at the top of her lungs, taking every ounce of strength left in her to not cry.

They were in a standoff.  Brock stood stoic.  Grace stood stoic.  Staring at each other, waiting for the other to move.  Neither did for a while, waiting it out to see who would crack first.  She didn’t mean it, Brock kept thinking.  She doesn’t mean it.  She doesn’t mean it.  But with every second that passed, with every heave of Grace’s chest, with every moment of silence signaling her refusal to budge…

Brock cracked.  

He picked up his keys, gave Grace one last look, and walked out the door.  

***

It was a few agonizing, excruciating, unbearably lonely few weeks later when Brock received a phone call in the middle of the night.  2:38am.  His phone’s ring blaring throughout his empty apartment.

“Hello?” his voice was groggy, tired, exhausted.  

Silence.  

“Hello?” he asked once more, louder this time.  If it was any one of his teammates he’d knock them dead the next time he saw them – Petey especially.

The voice was small and defeated when it finally did speak, asking Brock the question, “What if we end up like my parents?”

Brock was wide awake now.  He got up in bed dramatically, holding his phone against his ear so tightly that he could hear the charger fall out of the electrical socket.  “Gracie,” the shock was evident in his voice.  

“Will you come over?” she asked.

Brock threw the covers off his body dramatically.  “I’m on my way right now,” he said.  He’d drive his car in his slippers if he needed to.  

“Be careful.”

“I’m coming.  I’ll be there soon.”

***

“C’mere,” Brock said the millisecond Grace let him in, wrapping his arms around her and engulfing her into a hug as she clung to him like he’d float away and wrapped every limb she had around him.  He’d made it to her apartment in record time, speeding through the streets of Vancouver to get to her.  It was probably dangerous, but it wasn’t like there were other cars on the road at 2:45 in the morning.  “Talk to me Gracie.  Talk to me,” he urged as he felt her tears against his skin.  

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled into the crook of his neck.  “I’m so—Brock, I was so bad.  So bad.”

“Shhhhh shhhh shhhh, don’t,” Brock cooed.  “Just tell me what’s wrong.  What’s going on in your head, Grace?”

“Brock…” she began, swallowing her tears before continuing.  She pulled away slightly so she could look him in the eye, wiping her own red ones with the palms of her hands.  She knew she looked awful, but she also knew Brock didn’t give a shit.  “I just miss him so much.”

“Your dad.”

Grace nodded quickly.  “Every part of me misses him.  But then I started to think about how awful he and my mom were during the divorce,” she explained.  And to Brock, that said everything.  Grace told him about it ever since they met – the general, the specific, the nitty-gritty details – and it was awful.  To have that whirling around in her mind would have definitely affected her.  It all made sense to him now.  It all made sense, knowing she never wanted to go back to that.  “And I got scared…I got so scared.  I just kept remembering how bad it was.  So on the night of the gala when you said—”

“So it was something that I said—”

“Nonononononono,” she vehemently shook her head, bringing her finger up to his lips to silence him.  “No no no no no.  I—Brock—I love you with every part of me too.  But…but what if we end up like my parents?  What if we fall out of love?  What if it—what if it ends badly?  What if we ended up hating each other?  They’d always say things like it was so hard to be with one another and—”

“Is it hard to be with me?” Brock asked, not wanting her to go any further and knowing that at this point, he needed to intervene.

“NO!  Never!” she exclaimed.  She never wanted Brock to think that ever.  She cradled his face in her hands.  “Being with you feels natural.  It feels like it was always supposed to be this way.  It’s so easy.  It’s so peaceful.”

“Then that’s how it’ll always be, a peaceful easy feeling,” Brock whispered.  “What’s there to be scared about, baby?”

Grace shook her head, tearing up again.  “Nothing when I’m with you.”

“We won’t end up like your parents because we’re not your parents,” he said.  His words were so simple but they hit Grace like a ton of bricks.  “We’re different people.  I love you more than anything, and the thought of hating you—Grace—I—it’s never, never crossed my mind.  I never could.  You give me everything.  Do I give you everything?”

She nodded.  “Everything.”

“Then I’m gonna keep giving you everything.  And I’ll do it till the end of time, Gracie.  Because I love you.  I can’t picture myself with anyone else.  I can’t…I can’t picture going through pain with anyone else besides you.”

Brock’s words were loaded – she knew that.  “I can’t picture going through pain with anyone else besides you.”  Grace nodded.  The sentiment was so serious, but so right.  When she really thought about it, would she have wanted to experience this pain with anyone else besides Brock?  No.  He meant the world to her.  And that’s how it was always going to be.  “I’m so dumb,” she shook her head at herself.

“You’re not dumb.  For what you went through, it’s a legitimate worry,” he reassured her.  “But I promise you, I promise you, I’ll love you with everything I have and you’ll love me with everything you have, and we won’t end up like your parents.”

Grace was overcome with emotion.   “I love you so much, Brock.”

“I love you too,” he leaned in to kiss her, once, twice, then again and again.  When they stopped, he wrapped his arms around her body and lay down on her couch, bringing her body down with him.  He wiggled out of his hoodie.  Then he pushed her body down slightly, and that’s when Grace knew exactly what he was doing.  She lay her head on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.  

“Can you feel it?” he asked softly.

Grace nodded.

[robininthelabyrinth]

what do you think would happen in a role swap where wei wuxian is the one with an arranged marriage, yanli becomes sect leader, and jiang cheng runs away with the remnants of the wen clan?

“It’s impossible,” Wen Qing said, her voice flat and eyes icy. “Literally impossible. It would kill you both.”

“But –”

“If you don’t care about your own life, at least care about his,” she said, and Wei Wuxian fell silent; she’d hit him right where it hurt the most, and he turned and stormed away.

Wen Qing waited, watching as Wen Ning ran after him, distressed by his distress, and when he was finally out of earshot, she said, “You may regret that, one day.”

Behind her there was a rusty bark of laughter, if that horrible twisted sound, low and grating and rasping at the throat until it bled, could be called a laugh.

“I won’t,” Jiang Cheng said. She’d removed the needles that kept him asleep the day before, though he’d played limp any time Wei Wuxian had come around, and Wei Wuxian had been so excited by his idea that he hadn’t noticed. “Thank you for lying to him.”

“My family killed yours,” she said with a sigh. “The least I can do is save one.”

“If you regret it so much, you can abandon your office and surrender yourself,” Jiang Cheng said, and turned away from her. He hadn’t forgiven her, that much was obvious. “You lead a Supervisory Office. That isn’t a neutral position.”

“I have to keep my brother, and the others, safe,” she said. “You understand that.”

“I understand it. I just think you’re wrong.”

“How am I wrong? Your Jiang sect is gone,” she said, twisting the knife cruelly. “Wen Ruohan has over half the cultivation world under his grip – how are the rest of you going to overcome that?”

“I didn’t say we would win,” Jiang Cheng said. “I said you were wrong.”

Wen Qing opened her mouth and found she had nothing to say. That wasn’t a condition that came naturally to her, so she scowled and changed the subject. “What are you going to do next?”

“Rebuild the Jiang sect.”

“The Jiang sect? But – how…?”

He turned back to look at her. “My golden core is gone, and I’m a good-for-nothing,” he said flatly. “That much is true. But you forget – I still have a sister.”

Jiang Yanli wasn’t a fighter; this much was true. She wept bitter tears when Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian finally found their way to her side, horrified by what Jiang Cheng had suffered, what had happened to him. But fighter or no fighter, she knew her duty.

The Jiang Sect had its first mistress. She could not lead them in war – Wei Wuxian did that – but she tended their wounds and sat in all the strategy meetings, giving her thoughts and making the final decision with her brothers’ advice; those who became sect disciples did not feel that their gentle lady, who they came to worship as Guanyin reborn in human form, was anything less than the rest.

“We need more help,” Jiang Cheng, who had become one of his sister’s advisors and learned through painful experience how to ignore (but never not notice) all of the pitying stares that came his way, said. “We’re not doing as much in the war as the other Sects – if we don’t establish a strong alliance with one of them, and soon, we will very soon lose the right to call ourselves a Great Sect.”

“A marriage,” Jiang Yanli said, understanding at once. “But I can’t…”

She was Sect Leader, now. She could not marry the heir of another sect – she would only be able to accept a man who married in, who would agree that his children be named Jiang.

The Jiang sect had to come first.

Whatever dreams she had once had about Jin Zixuan were gone now, burned to ashes in a way that not even a broken engagement could.

“Not you,” Jiang Cheng said. “Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Wuxian looked up sharply. “You want to marry me off?” he asked. “Are you serious?”

Jiang Cheng laughed harshly. It still didn’t sound like a laugh, not even after all these months. “What,” he said mockingly, his bitter voice eerily reminiscent of his mother’s at her most furious. “You expect a cultivator to marry me?”

Wei Wuxian fell silent. It was not that cultivators didn’t marry regular people – it happened quite often. But an arranged marriage, for the purposes of building an alliance?

Even if no children could be expected from the match – it would have to be a cutsleeve marriage, given the lack of daughters among the Four Great Sect, but such things were not uncommon if the real purpose was a political alliance – the minimum requirement for making such an offer was a cultivation base sufficient for dual cultivation. Anything less would be an insult – the same as sentencing the cultivator to a dead end.

The same dead end that Jiang Cheng faced every day.

“Who were you thinking?” Wei Wuxian finally asked. “If you even dare suggest the peacock –”

“Lan Wangji.”

“What?! But he hates me!”

“He’s the best available option,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s strict in terms of etiquette; regardless of his feelings, he won’t mistreat you. Jin Zixuan is obviously out – even if you didn’t hate him, his parents would never agree to a match with no chance of legitimate descendants, and we’d never accept one of Jin Guangshan’s bastards; it would leave us with no face at all.”

“What about Nie Huaisang?”

“No influence,” Jiang Cheng said simply, and Wei Wuxian grimaced, conceding the point. Even if Nie Mingjue could be coaxed into an agreement, no one in the cultivation world would ever think that the wife of his little brother had any impact on his decisions, and that would defeat the whole purpose of this endeavor. Nie Mingjue was too straightforward, too rigid – marrying Nie Huaisang would be as good as throwing Wei Wuxian’s life away for no purpose.

And that left – Lan Wangji.

“Well, whatever he thinks of me, I always rather liked him,” Wei Wuxian said, not looking at Jiang Cheng – the memories of the accusations tossed around after the Xuanwu’s cave, why did you have to stand up for him, still lingered in his ear. “Gloomy and humorless as he may be. Do you think he’ll agree?”

“I’ll take one of the guards to go find out,” Jiang Cheng said. He ignored their involuntary wince at the reminder that he couldn’t go himself – weak, helpless, vulnerable, not to mention unable to fly on a sword by himself – and took his leave.

He came back with an agreement, and just like that Wei Wuxian found himself engaged.

It didn’t change anything, though the Jiang Sect partnered more and more often with the Lan sect on missions – Wei Wuxian found that he enjoyed fighting back to back with Lan Wangji, and enjoyed teasing him even more – and the war dragged on for a long time, the tides turning against Wen Ruohan only very slowly, battle by battle, inch by hard-won inch.

But in the end, they won.

They won, and stood together at Phoenix Mountain to celebrate their victory.

Wei Wuxian allowed himself to breath a sigh of relief, and shared smiles with Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng didn’t smile, he didn’t do that anymore, his brow always creased in anger, but he nodded and allowed Wei Wuxian to wrap an arm around both their shoulders.

The three of them together – broken, damaged, but together.

If Wei Wuxian had known that that would be the last time they’d stand together, the three of them together the way they’d promised they would be, he would have cherished it more.

But who would have thought that within three days of Phoenix Mountain, Jiang Cheng – ordinary Jiang Cheng, with no golden core, with nothing but angry determination – would accuse the Jin Sect of horrific abuses, and then, when he got no satisfactory answer, kidnap an entire set of war prisoners from the Wen sect out from right under the Jin Sect’s nose?

Everyone demanded to know where he’d taken them, and didn’t believe them when they said they didn’t know.

Lan Wangji didn’t even ask, merely leaned his shoulder against Wei Wuxian’s, and Wei Wuxian’s heart softened, thankful.

He’d be less thankful when he found out that Lan Wangji had helped Jiang Cheng do what he did and then refused to share where he’d gone, citing a solemn oath that he’d taken, but at that moment he found himself thinking – at least I have you.

They had some fights when the truth came out – Lan Wangji confessed – but it ended up being something he could forgive, especially when it turned out that Wen Qing had been the one to ask, and Wen Ning very nearly killed by the indifferent guards; it had been the right thing to do.

Jiang Cheng hadn’t even known what the Wens had done for him. He’d only known what it felt like to have nothing, to suffer endlessly, and he’d done the right thing.

Just as it was the right thing for Jiang Yanli to break ties with her brother, to cast him out of the sect that he had once been the heir of, her eyes full of tears even as she did it; anything else would have opened her sect up to reprisals it couldn’t afford, weakened as it was. Until Wei Wuxian’s marriage was finalized, they lacked the strength to defend him.

Unsurprisingly, their very next move was to set the date for the wedding.

Wei Wuxian spent the entire two months leading up to it biting his fingers until blood flowed, hoping against hope, and his faith was rewarded when Jiang Cheng, abhorred by the entire cultivation world, ignored all common sense to come to visit him the day before the ceremony.

“You make a terrible bride,” Jiang Cheng said, voice gruff, and Wei Wuxian forgot himself and tried to tackle him the way he used to; it was only Lan Wangji catching him and holding him back that reminded him that he couldn’t do that anymore, that Jiang Cheng wasn’t a cultivator, that his body had grown weak for lack of spiritual energy. “Really, look at you – who told you red was your color?”

“Red has always been my color,” Wei Wuxian shot back, grinning. “It’s not my fault it clashes with purple.”

He didn’t comment on Jiang Cheng’s clothing, the dull colors of a rogue cultivator.

“I’m glad you came,” he said instead. “I came up with something for you.”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be bringing gifts,” Jiang Cheng grumbled. “And now you’re going to blow them all out of the water by comparison, since it’s not like we have any money…what is it?”

Wei Wuxian handed him the book he’d written.

“Cultivation of resentful energy?” Jiang Cheng read, and scowled at him. “Did Hanguang-jun tell you were I’m living?”

“He said it had the worst feng shui he’d ever seen, but nothing more than that,” Wei Wuxian said, a little annoyed but not very: he’d gotten Lan Wangji to promise that he would tell him once they were wed, since spouses shouldn’t keep secrets from each other. He’d gotten Lan Wangji to promise quite a lot of things, actually; it turned out the man actually liked him, and not just a little – who knew when that had happened? Luckily for them both, Wei Wuxian liked him back just as much. “It’s as orthodox as Lan Wangji and I could get it, given that it’s intrinsically, well, not. Every possible precaution against it turning into – uh –”

“Demonic cultivation.”

“…yes. That. Any type of cultivation that uses resentful energy damages the temperament, body and heart, but there are more orthodox ways to go about it that minimize the impact. We borrowed quite a bit from the Nie sect, prepare yourself, but anyway, you’re already so pissy, who would even notice if you got angry more often?”

The Nie clan’s cultivation gave them immense power but short lives – but not as short as a regular person who didn’t cultivate at all.

“Get lost!”

“It’s worth a try, okay?”

Jiang Cheng didn’t look convinced, so Wei Wuxian pulled out his trump card. “If it works, you could use Zidian again.”

Years later, Wei Wuxian would wonder about what he unleashed into the world that day, but right then there was nothing more than the longing in Jiang Cheng’s eyes, the first spark of purple lightning in years, and the first smile Wei Wuxian had seen on Jiang Cheng’s face since even longer.

No matter how it turned out – it was all worth it.

[simpsiren]

lee jeno x reader

description. In a small town where everyone knew everyone, it didn’t come as a surprise for my little self to quickly fall in love for the boy I spent my entire childhood with. But after he left the town one night, I refused to head back there. That is until I received an envelope one day that contained a postcard that had a short note along with polaroid pictures

genre. angst, fluff, childhood friends/crush to lovers

word count. 8k~

warnings. nonee

a/n. hihiii I actually thought this idea is pretty cool. I never expected it to be this long but oH wEllS HAHA either way i hope you’ll enjoy since I really enjoyed writing this :D

“What was taking you so long to get here?” I shouted, looking down as I saw a shadow and the rustling sound of the grass, knowing who it was since no one else would be at this side of town.

“Dinner held me back.” The familiar voice rang through my ears as Jeno climbs up the ladder to the rooftop where I waited for him.

He gets comfortable next to me as he placed his hands behind him and leaned back, tilting his head up to face the night sky. We took the time in the comfortable silence to bask in the moonlight, the blank dark sky with only few starts to be seen as the cold breeze touched our skin ever so lightly.

“Don’t lie. They fought again, didn’t they?” I finally spoke up. I brought my knees close to my chest, arms wrapped around my legs as I laid my head on one knee and turned to face him. His side profile looked as good and indulging as always.

“I can never lie to you.” Jeno suspired in defeat, running a hand through his soft and fluffy hair. “I don’t even know how I got caught up in it.” He added on. I frowned and placed my hand beside his head, moving it gently to rest on my shoulder. He leaned against me as I wrapped my arm around him and rubbed the side of it.

“We’ll get out of this town eventually. In a few years time, we’re fleeing this place.” I whispered gently. My hand creeps up his hair, running my fingers through his locks.

I really wished I could stay like this with him forever; being this close to him— having him appreciate my embrace as we admired the atmosphere of the plain boring night. Though my nights were never plain when it was with him. I liked him that much, when I wouldn’t mind doing anything as long as he’s here.

“Keep your promise.” I chuckled lightly, feeling his hands wrapping around me as he snuggles up closer. I felt his breathing against my skin with his touch setting off the usual butterflies fluttering in my stomach. “You know I always do.”

However, I also knew that his touch towards me has always been intentionally platonic. It hurt my heart in a way as I could only wish it meant something more without him knowing my desire towards him.

Silence once again settled in. But it quickly came to an end when Jeno took in a deep breath, the sound of him gulping can be heard. “If I happen to flee first, I promise I’ll find you again.” He suddenly let out. I raised a brow at my friends’s questionable words.

“What do you mean?”

Jeno heaved a sigh. I thought it was a normal sigh at first, but I realised that it had an underlining meaning to it, a probably gloomy one. “Nothing in particular.” He replied in a simple directness. I could tell he didn’t want to explain. I didn’t bother pushing it further. But I still wondered what he meant by that.

And that’s how I spent my nights with the boy I liked— hanging out at the rooftop of an abandoned house till late at night. Sometimes we’d stay there till morning if one of us decided not to go home.

I’d fall deeper for Jeno with every night passing by. I would talk about my late night thoughts and feelings. He’ll listen throughout, regardless of how weird or boring it got. And I did the same for him. I was never not entertained by him. His voice, the little actions he does while he talked, his indulging features. I liked him so much.

We were just reckless teenagers. Free to do whatever while we’re stuck in a tiny town with only each other to entertain and be entertained by. We depended on each other for everything; we only had each other. My relationship with Jeno was nothing but perfect in the most simple and boring way possible. And that’s what I liked most.

That is until one day, he left town without a word of notice. No signs, no announcement— nothing. He didn’t text me at all either, no matter how many times I spammed him with texts and missed calls. It’s like he vanished out of my life. My only friend and crush— gone. Just like that.

It sent me down an emotional roller coaster. Feeling anger, sadness and betrayal all in one go. I’ve been stuck in a loop of my own mixed up feelings for months, unable to get over Jeno.

He didn’t leave a single trace of him, but I knew very well that he had a special place in my heart. One so deep and impactful. I wanted to get rid of this place, but I never can, even after all these years. He probably doesn’t know it. With every step I took around town, everything had something to do with him. I was never able to get him off my mind.

It frustrated me. Everything here had a piece of him, and I was left to pick up each and every one as I ponder about why he left without letting me know. Was I that insignificant all this while that he couldn’t tell me before hand? Did I even mean much to him that he didn’t think about me on the night he left?

And those questions still remain.

“Yo!” I heard the shriek of a familiar voice right behind me as an arm swung around my shoulders. I didn’t bother looking at him as I kept walking forward while he followed closely beside me.

“Yes, Jaemin?” I asked, finally turning my head to meet his face, having his bright and bubbly smile as usual. “Bubble tea date?” Jaemin giggled like a child.

With a slight chuckle, I gave him the same smile and questioned, “Your treat?”

Jaemin rolled his eyes, faking his exasperation. Though he still walked while bouncing on the ball of his feet. “Why bother asking when we both know your cheapskate ass will never pay.” He grumbled.

I gave a light shrug of my shoulders. “True that.” I admitted easily. We headed to the nearby mall and got our bubble teas. Though I wanted to pay him for my drink since I did feel slightly bad, he gave an answer that said, “I mean if you want to.” I would have, but felt like I didn’t moments after.

We made our way back to the dorms. With my dorm and his being on the same floor and only a few dorms down the hall, we decided to go to my dorm.

And that’s when I saw it. The moment I opened the door. The first thing that caught my eye was the envelope on the floor, centimetres away from my foot as I took the first step to enter. Jaemin bumped into me due to my sudden stop of movement that led him to ask, “Why’d you stop?”

I bent down to pick it up in my hand, moving it around as I looked at it from all angles before standing up and showing Jaemin the envelope. He snatched it away from me and inspected it as well.

“Doesn’t have a sender.” He took note, handing it back to me with a shrug. I raised both shoulders before entering my dorm completely, standing aside to let Jaemin in and close the door.

I threw my bag beside where Jaemin put his; beside my study table as he plopped himself onto my bed and allowed his body to sink in the piles of pillows and plushies I had.

Sitting down next to him, I held the envelope up in the air, making Jaemin sit up straight with his legs crossed as leaning in with curiosity. “Open it, open it.” He chanted.

I tore open the seal, taking out whatever’s inside till it’s empty, crumpling up the envelope and throwing it in my small trashcan beside the bed.

“What the heck?” Jaemin and I muttered in unison as we stared at the items in between us on the bed. I tilted my head to the side, lifting up the item that was nearest to me. “A postcard?” I flipped it to the other side, noticing it had a note written on it.

“How are you?” A question that never escaped my mind during my free time. Though I may never get an answer, I wish to see you. But only from afar. I’d be too ashamed to have you in front of me. So, how are you?

As I read out the words on the postcard that was written in a seamlessly beautiful handwriting, Jaemin took the other items in his hands, continuously shuffling from one to another and repeating the process after staring at each one for a few seconds.

“Someone wrote you a note and sent you polaroids?” Jaemin asked, handing the polaroids out for me to take. I took it and gave him the postcard to allow him to look at it as well.

There were three polaroids. All had dates on the blank space under the picture. I didn’t know what the dates would mean. The date they took the picture? Any other significant meaning? I just knew the dates were about a few weeks ago and were days apeart from each other. The pictures were vague, seemingly random. But a closer look got me to realise it. “Whoever sent it must be in Paris.”

Jaemin clicked his tongue, nodding his head. “Weird. Do you know anyone that would send you something like this?” I furrowed my eyebrows and rolled my eyes, lifting the polaroids in the air and waving it around. “I wouldn’t be looking this puzzled if I had known.”

“Maybe it’s your secret admirer.” Jaemin assumed, the side of his lip rising a little as he cocked a brow. I scoffed, squinting my eyes at him with my mouth gaped open. “Yeah, sure.” I said sarcastically.

I rose from my bed, the polaroids in hand and snatching away the postcard from Jaemin. I walked to my study table and opened the small drawer under it, shoving them in and slamming it shut.

“For all I know it could be a stalker. Like hello? Who would know my location?” I went back to my bed, reaching my hand out to take the remote controller on my side table.

Jaemin chuckled. “Seriously? We’re in college. It’s not like they know your house address.” He shook his head and turned his body to face the television as I turned it on and headed to Netflix.

“I don’t know who sent that so I’m not going go give it anymore thought.” I simply stated as I searched for the movie that Jaemin and I planned to watch during our lecture in the afternoon.

After that first encounter with the envelope, a few months have passed. And the idea of it slowly slipped out of my mind completely. I didn’t think I’d be seeing it and having another encounter with it. I thought that has passed me already.

But mostly, I thought it meant nothing.

However, while I stayed up one night to study for a major exam that’s coming in about a week’s time, I heard something sliding on the floor. With my headphones on, I immediately took one side off and looked upwards, wondering where the noise came as my senses peaked.

I then look around the room. And on the floor, there it was. The same blank envelope I saw months ago. I squinted my eyes in awe, streching my body to grab the envelope. I put my pen down, now holding the envelope in my two hands.

It looked the same on the outside. A plain envelope with nothing but my college name written on it. I scratched my head slowly. “I don’t have time for this.” I muttered, thinking about the many other topics I needed to cover.

Either way, my curiosity still surfaced. I opened the envelope. Again I saw a postcard and three polaroids. This time however, the polaroids are showing a different place. Not knowing where it is, I looked at my laptop and searched up cities other than Paris. The last polaroids showed pictures taken in Paris. So maybe whoever took it could be somewhere near there.

As I looked through the different places, I tried to find matches of the pictures in the polaroids and ones on the internet. “Marseille...?” I glanced back and forth from the screen to the polaroids. Yup, it’s definitely Marseille. But why? And who?

I now looked towards the postcard. It had a drawing of buildings that look like the ones in Marseille. I took notice that there was another note. The handwriting looked neat and is definitely from the same person as last time.

You probably have forgotten about the first note I sent. Just to let you know, I’m doing fine. Our memories started to flood in and I couldn’t help myself but to contact you. Even in a way such as this, I’m glad to know that this’ll reach you someday. I hope you’ll remember the times we’ve spent together. You might hate me. I broke our promise afterall. Yet, I hope you’ll remember me like I do you.

My mouth slowly gaped open, my fingers grazing over the words as I read the short paragraph once more. The questions start to fill up my mind.

Our memories? Whoever you are, why can’t you just text me through text? Why are you being so meticulous and mysterious? Do you not want me to remember who you are? How can I remember you when you don’t give me a hint?

The questions almost sent me down a whirpool, one I’d probably won’t be able to escape if I have gone any further. I stopped yourself, opening the drawer where I kept the last postcard and polaroids, throwing them in as I thought about the more way important matter I had to handle, getting my head back in the game after picking my pen up to resume studying.

Though despite being able to complete what I wanted, I ended up staying wide awake, my mind still processing the weird envelope. Slowly, my thoughts went down the memory lane, trying to find what “memories” the sender is trying to make me remember. It was probably three in the morning at this point. I haven’t checked my phone for the time. I’ve probably been in deep thought for quite some time.

“What promise are they talking about...”

Nothing came to my mind as I tried finding answers. My brain could only store that much. My memory capacity is extremely limited now I had picked up such a major. My memories could only go as far back as my second year of college.

I grabbed a random plushie out of frustration, smacking my head with it. “Stop it. Just sleep. This means nothing.” I had to make a firm statement to myself. I can’t let my mind wonder too far over something like this. My life had other priorities. And this is definitely not one of them. Worse yet, something that’s making me lose my sleep.

I eventually fell asleep after shutting my mind away from any more thoughts; related to the envelopes or not.

Exams came and go, though it felt longer for some reason. On the last day of the exams, Jaemin decided that we should head out and explore our city this Christmas. It was a pretty good idea. We’ve been couped up in the dorms for way too long. Christmas break was the only time we were free, other than our midterm break.

The bits of snow fell and the city was bustling with Christmas spirit. Jaemin and I didn’t actually know what to do. But after walking around we found an area near the mall that was like an outdoor arcade. Or perhaps like a smaller version of a theme park.

We played for hours, going to different booths and playing different games. I was the one that had to play most of them since Jaemin can never earn a single prize. We went to many food trucks and indulged ourselves with the delicacy that we missed while being trapped in college.

We decided to head back at around ten, when the ciry began to quiet down and peace began to settle down upon the city. “Oh. I forgot to tell you.” I started off as we walked down the street, making a right turn to the traffic light. Jaemin walks forward a few steps to press the button as he went back to stand beside me. “What?” Jaemin asked.

“I got another envelope before the exams. He was at Maseille at the time.” I blankly replied. Jaemin stopped moving around and turned sharply to face me. I blinked my eyes. “You didn’t bother telling me then?! How could you!” Jaemin shouted out, a frown forming on his lips.

I scrunched my nose, shaking my head as I expected that he would make that kind of reaction. “We had exams? That shit got me up all night just from thinking about it.” I retorted back and began to walk forward across the street Jaemin quickly followed from behind and ended up beside me again.

“You can’t stop thinking about who the sender could be right?” I let out a defeated sigh, nodding my head with a hum. “Has the sender sent another one after that?” I gave a reply that was opposite to the previous one.

“I have a hunch that there’ll be another one today.” Jaemin commented nonchalantly. “A hunch.” I repeated back to myself.

Jaemin hummed in response. I didn’t reply, but rather allowed my mind to head back to the envelope. It’s Christmas Eve. Could the sender actually sent another one because of the occasion? I was bothered by the envelopes at first but now, I felt like I needed them to send me more. So I’ll be able to piece them up and find an answer.

Once we arrived, Jaemin wanted to come over to my dorm. Probably to check if his hunch was correct. And I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Jaemin immediately went down to snatch it from the ground. “I told you!” He announced with glee, the envelope flying around in his hand. “Okay, okay go open.” I urged him. He quickly goes to my bed, taking a seat while I closed the door and plopped down beside him.

He tore it open. The same contents dropped out. “Look at the polaroids.” I told Jaemin while I picked up the postcard. Jaemin tilted his head in confusion, eyes squinting as he tried to make sense of them. “It’s a different place from before, though.” Jaemin muttered.

I flipped the postcard, it was a regular Christmas themed one. I flipped back to where the note was written on the other side.

When the first snowfall fell, I thought of you. Every year the time I spent Christmas with you felt like a dream. We had nothing to do in that confined place, we only had each other to depend on, but the memories you’ve created for me were never lost since then. Even if you yourself have forgotten them, at least they’re still stored in me, waiting for you.

I read it all out. “It has to be someone you’ve been close to. They talk as if you’ve known them forever. Don’t you remember anyone that have you mean this much to them?”

Jaemin waited for me to answer. Though I already knew what to say, I was having second thoughts about it the more I dived deeper in my memories.

“It might have been someone from my childhood? Ugh I don’t know I can’t think of anyone. It’s probably more than five years ago.” I whined out. I slapped my hands on my cheek, cupping my face as I watch Jaemin running a hand through his hair.

“The polaroids looks like it’s been taken in Lyon.” As Jaemin said out his conclusion, I looked through the polaroids. “How’d you know?” I questioned.

“I literally have Architecture Geography as my elective. I have to learn the building styles of so many places. And this building....” Jaemin snatches one polaroid from me after peeking to look at it and showed it to me, pointing at the picture that showed a line of houses. “Is especially unique to Lyon.”

I nodded my let, letting out an “Ah...” while I remembered the fact that Jaemin takes electives on top of our main major.

“So you received three. All a few months apart from each other. And all of them showed a different city in France.” I nodded my head as I repeated each point he made in my head

Suddenly, a random question, or perhaps not, pops up in curiosity. “Do you think the sender will start sending more of them more often?” Jaemin kept silent to give my question some thought.

“They can’t be doing this forever. I mean I get they’re overseas but they’ll soon visit you here maybe.”

I smacked my lips, eyes glazing over the polaroids and postcards. This was the third time I received it. And a year has already passed. Does the sender want me to acknowledge them and find out who they are? Or maybe they’re communicating with me through this so as to be discreet and not want me to find them?

Question after question after question. The two of us sat in silence, Jaemin was probably thinking about this too, seeing how his finger were moving across his lips as he stared down to the items.

“Is there anyone that have you mean this much to them?” The specific question Jaemin asked. My answer would no. A firm no. Other than my family, I can never remember anyone that valued me so much as to go through such extends to keep their identity hidden like this.

My mind went blank. I couldn’t think. The postcard, the note, the polaroids; all served as puzzle pieces that can never be pieced together. The more I thought, the more complicated my answer got.

“Such a damsel in distress.” Jaemin finally spoke up, tilting his head up to look at me with both his brows raised.

“I’m not a damsel.” I stated, shaking my head. Though I let out a weak and defeating sigh, turning my head to the window as I watched the snow of dark night fall.

“But I certainly am in distress.”

On the third month of the new year, Jaemin and I had just finished our mini exam that our major would have every term.

“I’m glad we both did well. But that’s only one fourth of the chapters for this year and I’m already rotting.” Jaemin said, his back slouching as he dragged his feet on the floor while walking beside me.

“Your hair still looks healthy depsite the bleaching and brain deterioration.” I replied. We chuckled as we made our way to the snack bar at our dorm.

When we arrived there, I saw two other students hanging out by the chocolate area, chatting while one bent down and had his eyes scan across the area.

Jaemin wanted to buy his gummy bears and that’s where we went, and it was a few feet away from the two students.

“Which one should I get?” Jaemin bounced on the balls of his feet as he excitedly eyed the many kinds of gummy bears in front of him while tapping my shoulder at a rapid pace.

“I mean I’d choose the peach flavoured one.” I suggested with a shrug.

While Jaemin bent down to look for the peach gummy bears, the two students came into view.

“Wait so he’s coming back?” One of them started talking. “Can you shut the fuck up?” The other whispered, nudging his friends’ shoulder hard and placing a finger to his lips.

“No one is suppose to know.” He muttered.

“Please. No one here even knows him. He’s been away for that long.”

Though the friend tried to keep the conversation at a whisper’s level, clearly the other couldn’t care less, raising his voice back to a normal volume.

“Is he still doing that thing?” I heard the guy who spoke normally asked. The other replied with a sigh, nodding his head reluctantly. “It’s been a year. I honestly think he’s putting her in a weird and energy draining position. Seriously, they’ve been separated for years now, Chenle.”

Just as he was about to speak another word, his head turned to mine and our eyes met. We looked at each other, and he eventually gave a weirded out expression. I broke off the eye contact, embarrassed as I was probably caught eavesdropping their conversation.

Jaemin finally broke the silence. “Okay I’m going to get this peach one as well as strawberry. Oh you’re back.” Jaemin grinned happily. I raised a brow.

“I’ve been standing here all this time.” Jaemin blinked his eyes rapidly in disbelief, laughing and patting my shoulder after. “Seriously? Damn I didn’t even hear you breathe.” He said out of amusement.

I looked around and picked up another random kind of gummy bear. “I’ll just get this.” I said with a soft smile. Jaemim took it from me and headed over to the counter.

Before I could advert my attention back to the two students, they were already outside and walking away with the white plastic bag in hand. They’re conversation really stood out to me for some unknown reason.

Back at the dorm, Jaemin scrolled through Netflix on the television again, trying to find another movie to watch for the week. Absentmindedly, I couldn’t help but keep glancing at the drawer where it conatined all the postcards and polaroids the sender sent me.

And then my mind went back to the conversation the two students had. It’s like the two connected somehow. Like a clear string so thin that it seemed almost invisible. It’s there, but also not. I had a feeling. But I’m not sure what. And I can’t make a statement before I know it’s a hundred percent true.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaemin asked, his eyes still on the screen as he reads the description of a movie he selected. I turned my hard sharply. “Nothing.” I blurted out. “Don’t lie.”

I groaned, placing a hand on my forehead to cover my eyes. “You know those two people at the snack bar just now?”

Jaemin nodded his head. “Music majors.” I clicked my tongue. I kept silent for a moment. “Well I kind of eavesdropped on their conversation. And... something about it felt odd.”

Jaemin chuckled which made me look at him with confusion. “We’ve never encountered them at all, sweetie. We just see them on campus. Nothing more. Why would you think they’d have anything to do with the envelopes?” Jaemin questioned.

I let out a ‘tsk’ as I jerked my head slightly, biting my lower lip as I thought of an answer.

“The envelope thing has been going on for a year. They were talking about someone doing something for a year too. On top of that they said the person and someone else have been separated for so long. Doesn’t it lowkey resemble my situation? That whoever’s sending me this is hinting that I’ve known them for a long time.” I explained, pouring all my thoughts out.

Jaemin took awhile to respond. A minute has passed and he looked to still be deep in thought. But then, the sound of something sliding on floor near the door occured again.

I wasted no time to rush to the door, opening it and peeking my head out, looking left and right. I could’ve sworn I saw a glimpse of a shadow disappearing at far end corner.

“Woah what the heck?!” Jaemin shouts, surprised at my sudden reaction. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

I thought that if I can’t find the sender, I could find the deliverer. But as unlucky as I am, I missed it. Even if I chased after them, they’d be long gone.

I looked down, seeing the envelope right under the end of my shoe. I picked it up and swirled around to face Jaemin who was looking at me with their a shocked or confused expression. Obviously both.

“Speak of the devil.”

I walked back to my bed and tossed the envelope to Jaemin. Tore it open. Same contents.

“They’re probably at another city again.” I simply stated, picking up the postcard. However this time, the postcard looked different. Different in a way where it didn’t look like it came from the same area or region.

“Oh my God, wait.” I looked up to find Jaemin shuffling through the polaroids so quickly. “It’s in Japan.”

I whispered a soft, “What?” before snatching away the polaroids. And true to his words, the polaroids showed the unique city lit at night at different angles.

Can’t believe I’m here. I’m coming back soon. I really want to see you, but I’m scared of how you’ll react. If you remember now, please wait at our hangout spot. You should know where. One where we wasted our hours away looking at the blank canvas that we used to fill our hopes and dreams with and regret not sleeping the next day. But I never regretted a single night, since I was always with you.

“Wait so they’re right next to Korea right now?” I asked Jaemin once he finished reading the letter. He nodded eagerly. “Yeah but we still don’t know his exact location.”

My eyes narrowed down on Jaemin with a thin line forming in between my brows. “Why’d you think it’s a he?” I gave him a skeptical eye.

Jaemin shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “I’m still betting on the fact that this is your secret admirer.”

“It can be my long lost sister or something?”

I hate to admit it, but the idea of the sender possibly being my secret admirer had a romantic flare to it. My love life was getting boring in college. I never had time to mingle and I eventually closed myself away from love.

“If he’s in Japan, the next envelope would come faster right? By then, like he said in the note, he’ll be in Korea. We can track him down from there.”

Jaemin kept silent for a moment before opening his mouth to choose to continue. “But do you know where the so called hangout spot is?”

I thought long and hard. I kept muttering the description of the hangout place to myself. I couldn’t think of anything.

Not being able to come up with an answer, I went ahead to guess based on the words. And the answer quickly dawned on me.

“Is it someplace where it’s high up? Like a rooftop? It said that we stayed up all night at a blank canvas. That’s probably describing the night sky.”

Jaemin puckered his lips and nodded his head after processing what I just said. “If you can’t remember, why don’t you look at the other postcards? Maybe seeing them all together could help.”

His statement made me rush to my study table. I opened the drawer and dug out all the postcards I’ve received for over a year now. Coming back to the bed, I tossed them down and arranged them by the time I received them.

Quickly scanning my eyes over the words to quick read, I immediately picked up the keywords of each postcard.

“They don’t wish to be seen by me, significant memories, a broken promise, only had each other, confined space, a rooftop.” I laid it all out.

I thought long and hard. I really did. I dug so deep into my memories. I’ve probably been thinking for at least ten minutes. Jaemin didn’t say anything either.

“Anything?” He finally lets out.

“I think I know.”

Jaemin looked at me with eyes full of curiosity. My mouth gaped open slightly as I finally realise the thin string that connected all the dots becoming more visible.

Why didn’t I remember? Well, it’s been years. I couldn’t elaborate after what I said to Jaemin. Sudden waves of feelings crashed over me, over my heart— crashing so hard to let them in. The walls broke down quick. And the memories of him came to life. It flashed over me, like a movie tape being sped up at its maximum.

Everything I felt at the time surfaced in high intensity after being suppressed in my heart for too long. It was too much to handle.

I ended up finding Jaemin holding my arms and shaking me to get me out of trance. I blinked my eye once. Wanting to lift up a hand to touch my face, I realise my cheeks were wet. Very wet.

“Fucking hell what happened to you?! You literally stared at me for like- Forever that your eyes started watering.” Jaemin showed his concern, eyes looking straight at mine while he raised a thumb to my other cheek to wipe off the excess tears.

“I can’t believe this...” I breathed out. I gulped, desperately wanting my feelings to subside so that I can calm down, but also to allow Jaemin calm down as well. He was looking too worried for me and I hated it.

“Lee Jeno.” I croaked out. “Who’s he?”

I took in a deep breath, my hand going up to my head to press against it gently.

“Jeno... My childhood best friend. We lived in a small ass town. I had feelings for him. But he left without telling me one night. I hated him so much for it.”

As I expected, I couldn’t hold it in. The glistening tears wasted no time to well up in my eyes and fall down my cheeks. Jaemin instantly pulled me into his embrace as I cried hard into his chest till part of his shirt got soaked terribly.

Jaemin rubbed my back, not speaking a word as he allowed me to pour it all out on him. “Cry all you want, I’m here for you. Speak only when you want to.” Is what I definitely know Jaemin is saying through his comforting touch.

“I liked him so fucking much. And to have him leave and just magically disappearing out of my life. I hated the fact that he didn’t care to give me a heads up. I suffered so much the night he left. I fucking went haywire and didn’t even function properly for months while I thought about where he could’ve gone.” I spoke, my voice muffled as I dug my face deeper into Jaemin’s chest.

He hummed gently, still keeping silent as he knew I had way more to say than that.

“I don’t know what to do, Nana. I don’t know what to feel. I feel numb. I thought I’d be mad. Well, I am but I just...”

“I get it, love. It’s fine. I don’t understand how you feel. But you don’t have to explain, okay? Don’t tire yourself out.” Jaemin whispered.

“Give yourself time. You’re feeling a lot right now. Don’t think about the envelopes for the time being. It’s too much for you to handle.” He continued.

I pulled myself away from him, using the cuffs of my sweatshirt to wipe my face dry, sniffling as I glanced down on my lap before looking at Jaemin who had the most soft eyes that brought me calmness and peace at this point of time.

“You’re right. I can’t handle it. What a shitshow...” I mumbled at the end. “Now Jeno suddenly wants to come back to me? After what he did? What he put me through?” I shook my head.

Just what am I going to do now?

That night, I couldn’t sleep. And of course, being the most greatest friend, Jaemin slept over in my dorm and stayed awake till I fell asleep. I tried so hard to put myself to sleep because I know Jaemin’s stubborn instinct will insist on staying up till he heard me snore.

But everytime I closed my eyes, I thought of Jeno. The boy I adored for so long, but also the one I resented for so long. What does he look now? How’s his life going? What part of himself changed and what remained? Once again questions circled around and eventually I grew tired, falling asleep at a late hour and feeling regret the next morning as I looked over to see Jaemin sleeping who probably would have to drink a heck ton more coffee than usual (which is already health threatening enough) for him to stay awake for the rest of the day.

It didn’t take long for the next envelope to arrive. In fact, it came way quicker than expected. I wasn’t even sure if I had my feelings under control yet. I felt better. But the envelope arriving at my doorstep didn’t give a chance for me to fight my feelings that I wouldn’t want to experience again for fhe second time.

I’ll give you a month till 5th Sep. I’ll be there at 10pm. And I’ll wait till 12. If I don’t see you then, I’ll take it as you really do hate me and want me gone from your life forever. And if you do come... I’d be over the moon to see your face again. Whatever’s the answer, I’ll respect it wholeheartedly.

The note on the postcard got me sighing and rubbing a hand down my face. I had to make a decision by fifth september. Can I even do that? Is he really doing this again? Does he want me to go through the same emotional roller coaster ride like I did years ago with all these mixed feelings constantly swirling around me while I get pressured?

“Fuck it. He’s putting you through too much. Don’t meet him.” Jaemin slammed his coffee on the table. The action got eyes looking towards our table as the loud slam rang across the coffee shop.

“It’s conflicting, Nana. Part of me can’t face him since I know how much rage I’ll be feeling. But at the same time, I want to see him. I’m curious. And I need answers.” I said, sighing after and covering my face with my hands for a moment before huffing.

“I weighted both options. I know the pros and cons. But if I’m going to be really honest with myself, I would want to see him.”

Jaemin smacked his lips and nodded, his fingers tapping against the drink while he stared out the window and looked at me. “Okay then go. I know you’re scared about the cons and all. But you can’t overthink. Go with your first option and just do it. You really can’t contemplate.” Jaemin read my mind. He was able to get my thoughts so accurately and precisely that it might have scared me a little.

“You know me well, huh?” I let out a weak chuckle. I frowned. “You’re right.” I glanced at my phone, tapping the screen to show my lockscreen to look at the date. “I have eight days left till fifth September.”

“Great. You can take your mind off him till then. You need to fee as lighthearted as possible.”

Jaemin gave me his bright smile. His bubbly nature starting appear and take its place on his expressions and tone.

“I’ll definitely need your help with that.”

Jaemin did everything he could to make me happy and simply carefree. He’d offer to buy me bubble tea after lectures, accompany me wherever I went. He practically stayed over my apartment for the whole eight days.

As the days inched nearer, I ended each night with thinking of Jeno. I know Jaemin’s whole point of being with me was to get my mind off him. But I just couldn’t. Every night I’ll envision how he’d look. Which country did he flee to? What college major is he taking? What about his friends? Sometimes I even wondered if I ran through his mind like he does in mine.

But then, on one night while Jaemin fell asleep on the couch, I couldn’t help but think of the two music majors. The situation they described was awfully similar. It felt too similar. Indirectly it was. And of course, due to my demanding nature, I decided to find them to see if my speculation was correct.

It wasn’t hard for me to find out that they ended lecture at eleven today. Which is three hours before mine. I snuck out of my dorm, leaving Jaemin who’s still sleeping. Walking to the music department, I kept my eyes out for them. It shouldn’t be that hard since it’s about to be eleven and they’d be walking out of class by now.

The students started to scramble out and I instantly concentrated on the crowd, looking for them. One prominent feature that made them stood out was the fact that one of them had bright orange hair. Chenle, if I’m not wrong.

After waiting outside the lecture hall for at least ten minutes. It felt like almost everyone has already left and I started to wonder if I missed them. Luckily I didn’t. When I saw the bright orange hair guy coming out with another person and a lecturer, eventually waving goodbye to him and separating way.

I immediately intercepted, blocking their way. They looked at me with confusion. “Can we help you...?” The brown haired question awkwardly. I cleared my throat. “I actually need to talk to you guys about something. Why don’t we sit down?” I offered as I motioned by hand to the hangout area where there were wooden tables and benches.

The two turned their heads to each other, exchanging unrecognisable looks before walking ahead of me. They sat down side by side while I sat opposite. They looked like they didn’t know what was going on. Obviously, they didn’t.

“Um so basically I wanted to ask...” “Ask away.”

“Do you know of anyone named Lee Jeno?”

Silence ensues. No one answered for a whole minute. One stared blankly on the table while the other looked around as if trying to search for an answer.

“U-Uh no. We don’t. I’m sorry but we’re busy. Haechan let’s go.” The orange haired rose from his seat and held the other’s arm. Just when he was about to get dragged away, I held onto his free arm.“Wait. Please.”

Chenle lets out an inaudible sigh, allowing Haechan and him to slowly sit back down. “What?” “The conversation at the snack bar of our apartment dorm. Who are the two people that’s been apart for a long time?”

Haechan scoffed, cocking up a brow with one side of his lips lifted up. “You eavesdropped on us?”

“I’m sorry but that is not something you should know. We’re leaving.” Chenle insisted. But Haechan placed a hand on his shoulder. “But shouldn’t she know-“ “Know what?” I asked, that slip up of Haechan’s made me confirm that they definitely know Jeno someway.

“Can you fucking shut up?!” Chenle growled at Haechan, groaning. His head immediately shot to me. “You have nothing to do with this. I don’t know why you thought it was you, but we were referring to our lecturer’s personal problems. So please, we have to go.”

With that, they dashed off. I knew from the get go that they lied. They knew Jeno. That gave me some information in a way. Like perhaps they are the ones that’s helping him to send the envelopes. That little information gave me a sense of closure, in the smallest way possible. At least I had an answer to something.

It helped me to push through those days. A small portion of the whole big truth brought me this much strength.

I felt a lot of things while I walked to the town that’s deep in the unknown side of Korea, out of sight from the world. That’s how insignificant the town was.

As I got closer and closer, my heart began to feel heavy. Pounds of weight that contained feelings, reactions, the overthinking— slammed my heart. I could barely hold up.

I lifted up my phone slightly from my side. 11:45PM. I should have gone out earlier but I was having too much fun playing Mario Kart with Jaemin to even realise.

The street there began to look darker and darker as I entered the town. Just barely lit enough for me to see. The houses were very worn out. People still lived here, seeing how the light to the houses on the second floor are bright. But other than that, if all lights were switched off in the town, it would definitely look abandoned. Not a single trace of life to be seen.

I had trouble finding the house. I had to go deeper in to find the ribbon that was tied on the tree beside the house. Remembered it to be bright red. Years have passed and it’s almost nothing now, only strings of it left to hold it together.

I saw the ladder already prompted on the house for me to climb up. Step after step, I tried my best to stay calm. Though on the last step, as I peeked my head over, there he was.

The Jeno I haven’t seen in more than five years. The Jeno I had forgotten despite him giving me the best memories for us to live by. The Jeno that I hates but I now realise I couldn’t as I looked back on our relationship. I loved him. And though he never showed his love back other than platonically, I was still greatful for it.

“Hey.” I heard him say. His voice got way lower than it used to. “Hi.” I breathed out, finally getting on the rooftop as I quickly take a seat next to him. He apparently had lit a candle in front of him.

“You got my envelopes.” He stated.

Not replying, I took the time to look at his face. He certainly outgrown better than I expected. Puberty hit him like a truck. The features that pulled me in are now more prominent and defining, his soft fluffy hair still looked fluffy. Though his hair is now blue. Questionable, but with that face of his, he can pull of anything.

“I’m sorry for leaving you that night.” Jeno said after taking in a deep breath and hugging his knees close to his chest. His eyes kept straight to the front. It looked like he was too afraid to look at me.

“On the last night before you left. What you mumbled to me but couldn’t catch. Was that what you meant?” He nodded, tlting his head down.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno said again, his voice ever so soft and gentle but he could be at the brick of tears by the sound of it.

“I’m sorry for breaking the promise that we’ll leave this shitty town together. For saying that I’m not one to break a promise. Ours was the only one I broke till now. I was scared on making any other promises after you. I know you suffered a lot because of me. And I’m sorry I couldn’t give you an answer at that point of time when you’re most hurt.”

Jeno sniffled, running a hand through his hair. “Not seeing you for years, I kept thinking how I couldn’t be with you on your worst day and your best. We depended on each other so much I thought about how you could even survive without me. But I’m glad to see you’re doing well.”

I heard him sob. After he spilled out the last sentence, he broke into tears, hiding his face from me by wrapping his arms around. I didn’t know what to do. I reached a hand out, my finger inches away from his back to give a light rub. I finally placed the hand down, making him tilt his head up and turning to me. Finally our eyes met.

It’s like I was sucked into the swirl pool of his eyes. I drowned in them, fully mesmerised by it. I kept my eyes on him as I feel the nostalgia kicking in.

“You underestimated me.” I said. Jeno chuckled weakly. It sounded way more intense and low now. It made me feel some type of way. “I did.”

“How’d you even come up with the envelopes?”

“I had to find a way to talk to you. I would have searched you up online...” Jeno kept silent for a moment. “But it wouldn’t have been romantic.” He answered plainly.

My forehead creased as my eyes narrowed down at him. Tilting my head slightly, I asked, “Romantic? What do you mean?” I was suddenly intrigued.

Jeno’s lips pursed into a thin line. Both his brows were raised as he glanced sideway before looking at me again. “An excuse would be that I’m a literature major and it’s in my nature to be poetic and old school.” He joked. I let out a sigh, breathing out a soft chuckle.

“But other than that, I liked you. I-I mean I still do. I like you. I have never forgotten you. No matter what you thought. The fact that I didn’t tell you properly that I was leaving hurt my heart so so much. I couldn’t even confess my feelings for you before I left. I love you, _____.”

I froze. Every inch of my muscle prevented me from moving as I say over whatever I heard in my head for the second time. Is what I’m hearing really true? He liked me, when all this time I thought he didn’t.

“We were foolish teenagers. Wild, and free. But my love for you never changed. We were continents apart. And I knew you would have hated my guts and forget me. But I still held on, wishing everyday that I’ll get to meet you.”

Jeno smiled. His eye smile. Now that— that’s something that didn’t change a single bit. He looked exactly the same years ago. I saw the younger self in him and it made me realise how much I missed him. How much I wanted to see him smile like that more. How much I wanted to have nights with him again. I wanted to restart it all.

“I missed you.”

“I hated you, but I miss you.” I leaned in subconsciously, probably too much to the point where our faces were centimetres apart, our lips could have brushed against each other if I made a single move.

“I missed you too.” 

I couldn’t tell you how ht my face got. It was burning. My cheeks were definitely flushed red and I didn’t even need a mirror to tell. 

Slowly, our lips met. For the first time, I’m kissing my first love. My first love’s lips on mine. It felt as though time froze. The wind stopped blowing. The trees and grass stopped rustling. Silence fell on us. It was almost magical. His lips were extremely soft and felt like it was a perfect fit for mine.

We didn’t move. But rather let out lips sit on each other with our eyes closed. A subtle kiss that meant so much. A kiss that’s storing all the feelings the two of us felt while we were apart.

I opened my eyes, my lips still on his while his eyes were still shut. His eyelashes grew beautifully and his eyelids were smooth and pretty. His skin looked too clean up close for it to be true even.

I felt his hand making its way to my waist. The way he did it made me feel as thought if was something natural for him to do. His hand placed comfortably on my lower back, an action that felt so normal despite it being the first time. And the same went with the kiss.

I was the first to pull back, licking my lips after. His hand was still on my waist, in a way it refusing to let me go. 

“You aren’t going anywhere... right?” I asked, uncertainty filling my tone. I had to know. I wanted him to stay. I want him to be with me again. I want to feel his love that only he could give; that only he could have an impact on me.

“I’m staying. I had to turn on my father for this. But I didn’t care. I just want to be with you again.” Jeno whispered.

“Don’t leave me again.”

Silence.

“That kiss is a promise. Like a true love’s kiss. And the world is going to give no cure to it, so that I’ll be with you by your side till the end.”

[gaymershigh]

Hello! I hope you’re having a great day! May I request a scenario of Malleus grieving over his s/o’s departure from Twisted Wonderland, then fast forward years later they accidentally stumble back into the Valley of Thorns? Please and thanks!

Angst with a happy ending...yes...something that I always crave in my entire life...this is gonna be g/n reader by the way because..why not? ╮(╯▽╰)╭ also please forgive me Crowley stans for demonizing him for most of my fanfics- I'm sure he's sweet at some point but uhm, not really for most of the time, lol.

Note: Myn lynkyng means "the one I delight in, the one who gives me pleasure" but it's nothing sexual in this context.

Triggers: None

I can't handle being here without you | Malleus x g/n reader

I finally found a way back for you to go home, isn't that wonderful?" You wish you could feel the joy as Crowley is feeling now but that's not just possible. Why would you want to go to a place where you barely even have any memories of than stay at a place filled with your best friends and a place where you met your forever lover, Malleus? It's been only a year that you guys are together, sure but your love for eachother is like if you were married for 80 years already. Throwing all that away like it was nothing but just a dream feels like something a villain would do, like betraying Malleus after all this time you've been together. But what can you do? You didn't really think it through and underestimated Crowley far too long for you to even remember that he actually does research your way home but he just takes a painfully long time and you doubt that he'll easily accept the fact that you now don't want to go home.

"ah...is that so?" You couldn't sound less enthusiastic, you were so disappointed that even the principal realized. "What's wrong? You don't sound excited." His expression changes to a more serious look as he peered at you with concern. "it's just that..I don't really know. I don't even remember how my life is back then except where I live. Here however..I know everyone here and I have people to assist me." You sighed in frustration, does your parents even remember you? How many years could have passed by? "I'm pretty sure they're missing posters and news of you everywhere! No matter how long it has passed. If someone found you, they'll definitely lend you to the professionals and they could guide you back to your home place!" his utterance went back to a cheerful matter. Jeez. He really doesn't want to deal with you anymore, does he? Oh well, that just sums it up that your protests won't do anything. You sighed in irritation and gave in, which made him smile even more. "But what about Grim? How should I tell Ace, Deuce and the others about this?"

"No worries, prefect! I shall take care of him. Ace and Deuce? Ah, your friends. Unfortunately, the only way for you to go without making them hurt is to just keep it a secret or else, they will try to stop you." It felt cruel to leave them behind without a single goodbye but he was right. Knowing them, they will be in tears trying to stop you from getting near that mirror and you can't bear that side. You guiltily nodded, before looking down in sadness. What about Malleus? you thought. How is he going to handle this news? You know that you wouldn't live with him for the rest of his life but you're going to separate faster than that and this made you torn to just run up to him and hug him to either say your goodbyes or secretly stay with him forever. Though, you feel like the latter is impossible so you'll woefully take your current path.

After your unforseen departure, news will start to spread. From Grim he will tell the news to your closest friends and they will spread it to other peers you have interacted to and later that will definitely spread to other than Malleus. "I'm hesitant to say that, (Y/N) when back to their world and I'm unsure if they will ever come back." When Lilia let those words roll out of his tongue, the fae was dead silent. The only thing that he spoke was a small 'oh' and nothing else but it was incredibly obvious he was devastated. Malleus got up from his chair and told the others he's going to his room which Lilia nodded, knowing exactly as to why. He really wanted to respect your choices but..he just couldn't. After everything, why did you go? Without even a single trace either other than the Ramshackle dorm to visit but that's not enough. Maybe adopting Grim could suffice but not now. He laid on his bed and sighed in sorrow. You're the only human- no, person who he has trusted and fully poured his feelings onto. Yes, he has Lilia and his two trusted bodyguards but it just doesn't feel the same. Your love is something that he knows that he won't physically receive forever as your time in the world is very limited but he knows that your love will be something that he could receive secretly while you're looking at him from above but knowing that you're still alive and you might never see each other ever again makes him anxious at the fact that you might find someone else.

Every single second you spend your time with him feels like heaven and is something he treasures deeply. From the first time you met to now, he remembered everything vividly. When you disappear out of the blue, his heart shattered to pieces like glass. Not only that, your friends have been in a dark, gloomy place and Sebek having mixed feelings about you. Even if your actions are selfish and wounded the young master, you're still the person who made him find his identity rather than just a servant. But Malleus cannot stay grieving forever, he is a prince who will soon be responsible at taking care of the Valley of Thorns and you're gonna go someday anyways, so it's not like he's going to be isolating himself all over again, right?

.

.

.

No, absolutely not. It's been a year since you're gone and he still just couldn't get you out of his mind. The only person that he gave all of his fondness and tenderness is gone and he can no longer feel that warmth of yours that you possess. No one, not even Lilia can rise up his mood every time he fortuitously passes by the Ramshackle dorm or stares at your closest friends just going about their day. He gets envious looking at other couples passing by every time there's an event where visitors are allowed. He wished he could learn about phones so maybe he could have kept in touch with you digitally? But it doesn't seem like you're communicating with your friends due to some problems occurring, Sebek saying your number is not available or something like that. He doesn't know what that means fully but just knowing that there's no way he can communicate with you at all breaks him even more. All of his cloud of thought is filled with you and the memories you two have created together. From just the regular chats to the first time you two shared that magical kiss. He really doesn't want to sound selfish but he prays that you don't forget about him as he will never forget about you. Even more so moving on and finding someone new.

Even if you're trying to forget about everything, it's impossible. You still have thoughts and dreams about your dreams and the memories you have created there. Mostly, was about Malleus. No matter if the dream is good or bad, you'll always wake up with tears streaming down your face. It has been a year but dreams about your Tsunotaro makes it feel like it's just yesterday. Sure, you found your parents/guardians and have had an ordinary but still a good life but..it just feels empty. Like there's a void in your heart that nothing can fill the gaps other than the horned boy. Everyone that tries to hit on you no matter how attractive, never intrigues you. The only thing that pops up in your mind 24/7 is Malleus. Malleus this, Malleus that. It feels empty but no matter what, you just couldn't stop thinking about him. What's he doing now? What's he thinking after your leave? Has he moved on and has a new lover? Hopefully not. You couldn't witness that but you're never gonna meet again so what's the point of hoping. Oh well, let's just wish that a sudden miracle will come out of nowhere and maybe you could meet again? But that's just impossible. Or is it?

.

.

.

It's been 4 years since you left. You weren't as torn as you were before but you still have dreams of Malleus and get quite sad about them yet happy as this is the only way to remember them. It was a casual day, you went to the store to get something to eat, accidentally stumbling across some of your new or old friends by accident as you were on your way home. You did the usual, make some food to eat, wash the dishes, yadda yadda. It was getting rather late, one in the morning to be exact. You closed your phone and went to your room but when you close the door, something started to glow up. The mirror in your room was glowing. Seemed familiar, no? You approached it, thinking that maybe it could be a way back to Twisted Wonderland perhaps? You doubt it but it's still a possibility. If it wasn't and just a different world then whatever, you could probably embark a new journey but you're hoping it's Twisted Wonderland. You took the risk and hop in the mirror, relieved that you weren't just hallucinating and didn't bump into your mirror like an idiot.

You fell face plant onto the floor, the fall was gentle and wasn't high up so it didn't hurt or anything. You got up, looking around, the place didn't seem familiar but the atmosphere of the place is very familiar. Nevertheless, the place is very intimidating and it didn't help that the mirror disappears into this air, meaning that it will take you a long time to get out of here like what happened in Twisted Wonderland or just no escape in general. There were spiky thorns everywhere, the whole area as you walked around feels like some sort of dungeon in an rpg game and you felt like an outcast by the way you dress. You felt like you're screwed, walk anymore further than where you fell and you could die any second. Everyone is eyeing you either because of how you dress or how you look like you're going to burst out crying like a baby koala any moment from now, probably both. You thought all hope is lost and you're gonna have to dig your own grave until..

Malleus Draconia is there. Right in front of you, his back facing you with some bodyguards which you just assume are other former Diasomnia students each at his side. You were hesitant and looked down to your feet, you really want to run into his arms and tell him how sorry you were for leaving without saying anything but will he forgive you for putting into the torment you possibly put him to? Did he met anyone new? Does he hate you for doing this to his heart? Will his bodyguards approve your appearance. Does he even want to see you anymore? These negative kept lingering your mind when you try to take a step closer. You felt like tears started to ran down your cheeks.

"Child of man?"

You looked up from the floor to see the three of them looking at you, Malleus with shock written on his face. "Tsunotaro.." You faintly mutter out your nickname for him. You were too timid to even move and thankfully he approached you. "We will be retreating back to the palace, I want to have a word with this human." The escorts nodded and you followed them back to where you assumed to be Malleus' home. You knew that Malleus is a prince but you didn't expect the castle he lives in to be that big. You presume this is his homeland, Valley of Thorns and my god can this place be even more medieval. You followed him to where you believe, is his bedroom. As soon as he locked the door, silence was deafening the room. It was never awkward when with Malleus until now. You decided to break the silence with an apology.

"Tsunotaro, I'm really sorry for leaving you! The headmaster found a way for me to go back home and I didn't have an alternative! He told me to not tell anyone and..and-" your sobs kept cutting your words and you tried all your best to wipe your tears away. He caught you off guard by wrapping his arms around your figure, rubbing his hand behind your back. "myn lynkyng, all of those sorrow that you made me went through aches my heart but all that is swept away when we finally able to reunite and see your beautiful face once again." he stroked your hair with pale long fingers and gave you one of his lovable sweet smile. "After all this time, I still love you with all my heart. No matter how many years have passed by, your face and everything we have done together still linger in my mind. Now that you're here, you don't mind that if you.. stay here for a little longer?" his smile turned into a rather cheesy grin. "Oh, Tsunotaro. I'll stay here forever if you want." You leaned and kissed his beautiful lips, which he did back immediately. He gently set you to his bed, lovingly caressing your cheek. "That's wonderful to hear."

I really need to work on my angst ╮(╯▽╰)╭

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[bosspigeon]

he asked me to pray to the god he doesn't believe in

People are puppets held together with string There's a beautiful sadness that runs through him a prompt that turned into a bit of a character study for my Blood Moon boy that i wrote a while ago and wanted to clean up/edit a bit and repost! title from The Hoosiers "A Sadness Runs Through Him"

Vesper watches Marco pace the room like a wind-up toy, or maybe more like a Roomba, from the edge of his bed. Marco hits one wall, twists on heel, strides off in a random direction until he hits another wall, and then it’s rinse and repeat. His teeth are clenched around the filter of an unlit cigarette, and it's a small miracle he hasn't bitten it entirely in half yet. It’s a feat of unimaginable self-control he hasn’t lit it inside, but he knows better by now.

Vesper's eyes move, trailing him from one side of his bedroom to the other, but the rest of his body doesn't. At least he blinks, not like those fucking leeches. Not like that creepy little fucking child emperor, with his wineglass full of blood, staring at Vesper like—

He hits another wall. It doesn't take him long. The den doesn't boast much in the way of free space between two dozen wolves, and Vesper's room has just enough for a bed, a small dresser, and a ratty armchair.

He finally stops. There's too much restless energy buzzing under his skin, the Moon screaming murderous static in his head that he only wishes he'd actually listened to while that skeezy little brat was ogling his—

His what? Vesper's not his anything.

He finally stops, before he burns a track into Vesper's ugly old floral rug, twists around, and sucks in a breath. He wishes it was a mouthful of smoke.

Vesper, ever the strong, silent type, damn him and his stupid, handsome, stoic face, is just looking at him. His eyes are dark and unreadable, his serious brows scrunched pensively. Marco wants to kiss the wrinkle between them, but that's nothing new. He's wanted to do that since he met the gorgeous, gloomy bastard.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Marco snaps.

Fuck. That's not what he wanted to say, and especially not with that tone.

Vesper's expression doesn't change. "Worried about you," he says simply, those irresponsibly broad shoulders shifting under his jacket and stretching the supple old leather.

Marco barks out a laugh. "Me? You're the one who just did a little wolfy striptease for Richie Rich Returns From The Dead. That's gotta do some serious psychological damage."

Vesper winces, and Marco wants to jump out the window. Whether Vesper is his anything or not, he definitely won't want to be after the umpteenth time he's watched Marco have a fucking meltdown.

"You're mad at me," he says, and there's something to his carefully flat tone, a strange edge, that makes Marco's heart hurt.

"What?" he blurts. "No! I'm— I'm not happy, but I'm— You—" He growls, loud and frustrated, and it's enough to have a few curious howls battering his already heavy skull.

I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine

Vesper's brows scrunch more.

"Why'd you agree to that?" Marco asks plaintively. "Why'd you— He couldn't make you do it."

"So you wouldn't have to," Vesper says quietly, looking away from Marco at last. Down at his hands, big and calloused. Rough, working-man's hands that Marco’s seen cradle Nik to his chest after a nightmare (one that no one even knew he had but Vesper, because he can't howl for the pack when he's hurt or upset), or gently tend to Izzy's scraped knees while she tried valiantly not to cry. Hands that cupped Marco's chin while he bled and cleaned up his gross nose-blood without a flicker of revulsion or discomfort, holding him steady so those stormcloud eyes could pick him apart.

He doesn’t look up from those hands. "I wasn't going to let you, or Vicky, or Ed degrade yourselves like that, so that leech could get his rocks off or whatever the fuck he wanted from us.” He says it so softly, but resolutely. “But someone had to."

"Why'd it have to be you?" Marco pleads. Why does it always have to be you?

Vesper looks up again, smiling sadly. "I'm the Alpha. It's my job. Protect the pack."

Marco wants to scream. He knows Vesper didn't even want to be Alpha. It's not just a guess, either. He's said it before, out loud, with his own stupid, pretty mouth, to Marco. I don't want to be Alpha. I'd make a shit Alpha. I can't even keep you in line, Marco, what makes you think I could handle the rest of them?

It was a running joke. Vesper herded the pups, even Izzy, with an uncanny ease. Defused arguments brewing between Vicky and whoever had managed to piss her off that day, kept Marco from causing havoc when his manic energy was through the roof. You'd be a great Alpha, bud.

No, that's not what I want.

What did he want?

Peace and quiet, mostly. Safety. A family.

So why'd he throw himself in the line of fire in the first place?

Because that's what Vesper does. He takes the licks so no one else has to. He doesn't talk about it much, but Marco's been mooning after him (haha) for a solid year, so he's picked up a few things. He remembers when Vesper was brought in, wild-eyed and twitchy, almost too close to the moon to find his way back at all. Whatever happened to his last pack, it wasn't pretty. It made him wary to get close to them, at first, but after a while, he got... protective.

So you didn't have to. So Addie and Elma didn't have to, so Sergi didn't have to, so no one else had to.

It's why he threw himself in the line of fire without even thinking, why he looked like someone had slapped him when the votes ruled in his favor.

It's why he'll be fucking great at it, Marco thinks, and it makes him ache.

Because when it comes down to it, what Vesper wanted never factored into the equation. It's what the pack needed. What will keep them safe.

It's terrifying to think about, especially when it comes to whatever is gonna happen when Blackwell slithers his slimy ass out of whatever hole he's hidden in. Vesper would die before he let another of his pack get hurt.

Marco's gonna be fucking mortified about the noise he makes later, when he stumbles towards the bigger wolf and bowls him backwards onto the bed. But right now, Vesper is here, warm and solid and stupidly, obnoxiously pretty, and Marco has to kiss him or he'll die, he thinks.

While Vesper is still here, and still wants him.

Those big, strong hands palm at his sides, his shoulders, his head with a tenderness that makes Marco want to cry.

He's not like Vesper. He's not a self-sacrificing idiot. He's selfish, selfish, selfish, and he's gonna hold onto this with grit teeth and bloody claws as long as he fucking can.

[sometimesrayjay]

-Rather die-

Summary:

Managing to escape, you ran through the outskirts of the home The yanderes had forced you to call your own. With them chasing you, You accidentally come across a cliff, Now cornered, your back facing certain death, you try to jump.

TW: Abuse, Violence, Attempted suicide, Yanderes having a whole mental breakdown, got kinda dark

Shoto Todoroki 

You could barely even keep up with the speed of Todoroki, let alone outrun him, But Hope still held on.

Your Heart rang in your ears, streaks of tears burning your scratched cheeks, dry throat painfully heaving for air as you were all but calm. Tripping over yourself, you continued forcing your bruised body to press on, The appeal of freedom enough to push the thoughts of giving in to the edges of your mind.

It was all happening so fast, Too fast in fact.

The forest around you was painted in red, signifying the dying light transitioning into night, You regretted even escaping at this time, from alot of perspectives the bad outweighed the good. But the important thing was that you even got out.

got out before you fell too deep.

As the trees around you started to thin out, you knew you were finally out of the bush of forest you blindly navigated, and all of a sudden you could finally see the sun staring at you, peeking on the horizon.

Assumptions were quickly made as you saw land disappearing ahead of you, Panic setting in.

If you were right, you were about to throw yourself off a cliff.

Naturally you skidded to a stop, feet digging into the soggy ground, Forcing your side to slam into the ground to keep yourself from going off the edge.

You scrambled up, hands digging into the ground ahead of you to keep your body from teetering off a literal cliff, dirt and mud caked on your face.

Through your blurry eyes, you could see Todoroki in the distance running towards you, yelling your name.

It was a split-second decision, With no time to mull over the consequences, and fear laced through your body, you could only give yourself one order.

Your not going back.

Pushing your arms back, you toppled over, skidding off the edge, your thoughts only just catching up.

If He catches you:

Frustrated, Pissed, Livid.

Not only did you run away, but you so carelessly jumped off-  you could’ve died! The first thing he does when he catches you is knock you out, Todoroki is a patient man, but when it comes to you getting hurt, It’s insanely thin ice your skating on.

After your limp in his arms, he lets out a sigh of relief, hugging you, The realization of how dangerous this situation really was burning into him.

Thank god he saved you.

Cleans you up and tends to your wounds first, He would rather you be awake for your punishment. 

And as soon as you do, He pets your head, Softly telling you he loves you as he slowly breaks your legs. 

You could only throw your head back and scream.

With chains wrapping around your arms bounding you to the floor it was quite hard to even think about escaping again, Your heart heavy with shame in the face of failure and humiliation.

Afterwards, He starts to think back.

What would he really do, if you died that day?

He then tries to make it up to you, making you your favorite dinner, getting you a pet, taking you outside on dates-

Your silence really starts to worry Todoroki after a while.

Izuku Midoryia 

Pushing yourself past your limits seemed only to tire you out faster.

Disbelief followed you through your tracks as you could’ve thrown your arms up in joy, Were you actually outrunning him?

Panicked heart slamming against your rib-cage, you struggled to catch your breath, needing more air than you could take in. Battling with Burn-out, Your body stuttered and screamed at you to slow down, to take a break.

Taunting yourself with the reward of freedom from the man who worshiped your being forced your legs to keep moving, to keep up with the speed Izuku’s presence demanded.

Sweat trickled down your face, crying out in frustration; you managed to push yourself even harder, The promise of relief in the near future spurring your efforts on. 

The dreary Moonlight lit up your path as you could only blindly run in whatever direction felt necessary, straining your eyes to see for obstacles ahead of you, The thought of one thing going wrong messing up everything Caused your cautious eyes to dart between paths and thick trees, Making sure you didn’t slam or trip on a random object

So how could you notice the cliff in front of you in pitch black?

Your heart dropped as you seemed to step on air, Hoping that you would feel ground under you, Hoping that you didn’t have to pay the price for your ignorance to go out in the middle of the night.

Fortunately your Body reacted first, shooting your hands out to grab whatever was at your disposal.

Lucking out, your hand managed to wrap around someone else’s.

wait-

Your head shot up to meet with izuku’s startled face. He reached out his other hand to continue pulling your dangling body up.

Heart in your throat, your gut clenching painfully, You wanted to cry, to scream out.

Luckily your sweaty, wet hands made it easy to slip out of his iron grip.

If He catches you:

He panics, as soon as he catches you, he pulls you into a bone crushing hug, babbling senselessly through hurried hiccups and tears.

Immediately takes you back home, cooing to you the whole time, assuring you that you were safe now, that he was here, that everything was going to be okay.

His Delusional side really shows when hes handling this.

He gives you a bath, stressing to you about how dangerous that little stunt you pulled was, That you could’ve gotten seriously hurt, even died.

But at that point, you wish you did.

If escaping wasn’t already a pain in the ass for you, Now it was near impossible, trackers, sensors, cameras, It doesn’t matter, Your privacy doesn’t matter, and your consent was already brushed off by him a very long time ago.

That night he cry’s into your chest. Telling you how scared he was, How much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

Everything seems to go downhill from there.

Your every waking moment seems like its dedicated to this stupid ‘relationship’ now.

Eijiro Kirishima

The bitter cold slapped against your face as you helplessly ran, sobbing in between pants. 

You could hear Kirishimas shouts echo throughout the throng of spruce trees, only adding to your gut clenching terror. Forcing your roughed up legs to skip through the mesh of wildlife littering the ground was hard enough, But having to constantly retaliate against your fatigue and running as fast as you could was near impossible.

Slowing down was inevitable, you confronted that as soon as you started moving; but if only you could deny your bodily needs just for a few minutes-!

While wishing for the impossible, for everything to be in your favor; The booming footsteps behind you only got closer and closer.

Everything hurt, Your mind a Hazy mess, and your legs burning.

You felt like you were drowning.

But hey, Whatever happened, if you escaped or not, At least you could tell yourself you tried?

Stumbling over your own bare feet, You pressed on, Body trembling as it was pushed to it’s limits. Coughing, You felt yourself giving in, slowing down, shutting off.

And as the Spruce trees around came to an abrupt stop, You slowed down, the Sky was a gloomy grey, and below you was a whole other forest scattered over the horizon. and as you bunched together in your mind that you were standing over a goddamn cliff, you wanted to cry out in frustration.

you stopped.

Catching your breath through hoarse groans, you looked up to the sky weakly, Choking on your own dry sobs, you mourned your failure, where could you go now?

Kirishimas hollers now becoming louder and more clearer, You opened your eyes and turned your head around, watched his figure becoming bigger and bigger in the distance.

You really didn’t wanna have to deal with this anymore.

And, looking back towards the cliffs edge, you knit your eyebrows together, eyes fluttering closed.

Maybe you didn’t have to

Your body seemed to move on its own.

If He catches you:

Immediately wraps himself around you, arms snaking around your waist as he bury’s his face into your neck and shoulder, His entire body trembling.

So shaky, You could practically feel his body trembling as he curls himself around you, feverishly petting your hair.

occasionally pulls from the abrasive hug, thumbs swiping against your cheeks, looking at you through blurry eyes.

“Are- Are you still here?”

Starts sobbing into your shoulder after awhile, Hes struggling to keep up. When he finally pieces himself together, (It takes a while, trust me) He picks you up silently, and carry’s you home, your cries and shouts falling deaf on his ears.

If your legs weren’t already broken from the fall, He’ll break them for you, He’s so- so lost- eventually just breaking down, falling to the floor and telling you how sorry he is.

Sorry he wasn’t enough. Sorry he made you think you had to do something like this. Expect him to loosen up the rules, wheeling you around the park, taking you on vacations, letting you freely roam about the overgrown mossy backyard- 

All under his supervision, of course.

But no matter how many more places you get to go to now, it still doesn’t take away the weight of the chain around your ankle.

[sinner-as-saint]

Another World - 2.

Alien!Bucky x Reader.

Part 2 of Another World series.

Run-through: In a futuristic world – a millennium from now, you and your family rescue and care for stranded and hurt otherworldly beings; who are held captive and kept on Earth against their wills. You save them from the bad guys who exploit them. You help them adjust to your planet’s life, and give them their freedom back. Then one day, while on a rescue mission, you come across a human-like extraterrestrial being in a cryogenic chamber, with a missing arm. And nothing is ever the same again…

Themes throughout the series: alien!bucky, fluff, smut, angst

You woke up the next morning, craving to see Bucky.

But you couldn’t see him all morning because the doctors had him in the lab, trying to decipher him and his background. You had the AIs inform you about everything going on in the labs and so far; the doctors had done a couple of tests and were having trouble figuring out where he came from. At first they thought he was originally from Earth, and that his DNA had been altered due to experimentation. But then, his blood test showed that he might be from somewhere else, but they couldn’t figure out where.

This was not an unusual thing though, given there was countless planets out there and countless life forms out there. It definitely took time to figure out the origin of anyone you rescued. It wouldn’t be surprising if he turns out to be half human either. Interspecies, or human-alien bonds weren’t too rare, nor were they too common. You had heard of them before, many of your friends and those you rescued were often products of that.

But there was a strange fear in you. What if your people found out where he was from, and Bucky ends up wanting to return back to his world? Of course, that would be completely normal. But what surprised you the most was, why didn’t you want him to go back? Why did you wish with your whole heart that he stays?

 -

Bucky was miserable without you. He didn’t get much sleep the previous night, and he kept thinking about you. Something about being in the same building as you made him feel better, however he was miserable because he hadn’t seen you all morning.

Someone knocked on his door this morning, and his heart raced as he hoped that it’d be you. But it turned out to be an older man, who had the same eye shape as you. He figured he must be your dad, given you both had this gentle and caring manner about you.

Bucky was then taken to a lab of some sort, much cleaner and equipped than the ones back where he was kept. Even the doctors here were much more kind and caring and soft-spoken. While they did the tests and asked him some questions, all he kept thinking about was you, and he kept wondering when he’ll see you again.

Meanwhile you tried so hard to focus on training all morning, but then around mid-day, you couldn’t stay away anymore. The need to see him and make sure he was okay grew more and more with each passing second. So you left the gym early, showered and made your way to the labs; hoping your dad wouldn’t be there to question the reason of your visit.

 You questioned yourself while you were on the elevator going up. Where was this pressing need to see Bucky coming from? And why? Sure, you had gotten attached to those you rescued before; mainly children or younger extraterrestrial beings, but this was different. This felt like it was natural, this need to always check up on him and make sure he’s alright felt like it had been a habit for years now. When in reality, you only met him yesterday.

The closer you got to the lab, the more you were pining to see him. And when you finally did, you felt as though the world around you came to a halt. Time had stopped and the only thing which made sense was the blue in his eyes; which was much lighter than last night. Almost fluorescent; a few shades deeper than cyan blue, but still lighter than azure. But breathtaking nonetheless.

You noticed that his face lit up the moment he saw you. And you knew yours did too. He looked a little lost; sitting there in the middle of the large lab on what seemed like a dental chair, just wider and seemingly much more comfortable. But the moment he saw you, it was like he had finally found a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day.

He stood up immediately, and only then did you fully realize how large and built, and tall, he actually was.

Damn.

The light blue patient gown they had him wear seemed tight around his biceps and shoulders, which in itself gave away how large his frame was. You were pleasantly surprised.

Seeing there was no one else in the lab at the time, you walked in and without thinking you walked up to him. As you approached him, his heart raced – and you could hear it. Yours was racing too.

Bucky, instinctively, gently extended his arm out in front of him in the hopes that you would walk into his embrace. He didn’t know why, but he needed you as close as possible. And you did too. So you rushed in for a hug, in the middle of the lab, and wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and hugged him like you two had reunited after years of being apart. When in reality you had only been apart for hours.

He tightened his grip around you, just a little as though testing the waters. And when he noticed that you were fine with his touch, he pushed his face into the crook of your neck and held you close to him. You felt his body heat radiate off him and wrap around you, and suddenly everything was fine in the world.

You didn’t care about who would walk in and see you, or what would they think; being with him and holding him close felt right, and that was the only thing you could focus on – him. His hug was warm, and comfortable. He was strong, you could feel his firm body and the muscles on his back through the hug. You carefully avoided his injured shoulder and tightened your grip around him because you needed him close as well. You felt him nuzzle your neck and you let out a little giggle.

You could feel his heartbeats against your chest, and you could tell they quickened a little when you hugged him a little tighter.

“Where were you?” he asked softly, like a child sulking because you didn’t give him something you promised. I was alone, anxious and I was waiting for you to show up, why didn’t you? He wanted to add, but then chose not to.

Your heart broke at how sad he sounded. You ran your hand down his muscular back and tried to comfort him.

“I’m sorry. I knew you’d be with the doctors all morning, I didn’t want to interrupt them. Then I was caught up with training, and Steve and all of his usual-,”

He cut off your explanation by pulling away to look into your eyes and tightening his grip around your waist. You noticed his eyes weren’t so bright anymore, they were a slightly deeper shade of blue – much like last night when you first met.

“Who’s Steve?” he asked, his voice still soft but with just a hint of annoyance in his tone.

You smiled up at him and your hands immediately reached out to cup his face. This was weirdly comfortable – being here with him, sharing space and being close to him. It felt like you had known him for years, decades. Like your heart knew him since forever.

“He’s one of my oldest friends. He helps me lead the team whenever we go on missions. He’s nice, you’ll like him.” You explained, wondering why it was suddenly important for you that people around you liked Bucky. Not that it would change anything if they didn’t, but you hated the idea of someone treating him with anything other than love and respect.

And you also wondered where was all that protectiveness coming from? You had never been one to get so attached to someone so easily – given the world you lived in. But here Bucky was, making you all crazy, in the best way.

Bucky nodded and wondered if he should lean in for another hug or if that would be too much. You had only met last night, and he was already being so dependent on you that it blew his mind. He wondered why he felt a rush, not entirely a pleasant one, when the name of another man left your lips. Perhaps because he wondered what if you were closer to someone else, and not him? He had never been possessive, not that he could remember much, but this was new.

“Are you okay?” you asked, genuine concern coating your words as you looked up at him and were mesmerized by how his eyes slowly got more and more lighter.

He gave you a faint smile.

“I am now.” he answered. Now that you’re here, he wanted to add but stopped himself before he made it awkward or weird.

 And there you were, in the middle of the lab just holding each other and gazing into each other’s eyes, when Tony walked in and found you like that.

He cleared his throat and you immediately took a step back from Bucky, lowering your hands from his face and faced your father sheepishly. You were so busy staring into Bucky’s eyes that not even your senses could pick up your dad’s arrival.

“Hey dad!” you greeted him before the awkward silence could settle in. Bucky lowered his eyes and tried to create as much distance between the two of you as possible.

Tony seemed like his playful self. He just seemed a little more curious.

“Bucky here was, uh, a little nervous. So… hence the hug, you know?” you were aware that you sounded not so convincing.

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at you. “I didn’t ask, honey.” Your dad said, looking between you and Bucky constantly.

“No, but you were about to.” You said, stubborn as always and always needing to have the last word. Surprisingly, your dad didn’t sass you or anything, he just smiled and nodded.

“There’s some more tests which need to be done.” Tony said and pointed towards the door. And you caught what he meant.

You nodded, “Right, more tests.” You turned to look at Bucky, finding it awkward to show affection in front of your dad but it would be rude to not say bye to him. “I’ll go. See you later, Bucky.” You were very tempted to lean in for a hug, but then you didn’t.

Bucky smiled and nodded, and watched you turn around and leave while more doctors walked in right after you left. He sighed and got back on the chair; waiting for all this to just be over so he could spend more time with you.

 -

You returned to your room, and did nothing but wait basically. There was not much to do today so you were really looking forward to at least spend the rest of the afternoon with Bucky and make sure he’s well accustomed to the compound.

You had told the AI to notify you if there’s anything wrong in the lab, or with Bucky. You did some reading, then got bored. Then luckily Steve came to check up on you for a little bit, then he had to leave as well because he was the one who handled everything when Tony was taken up with other things.

The loneliness and the boredom gave you some time to think about everything. Well, not everything but rather one person in particular – Bucky.

And you were busy pining some more when the AI announced that there was some commotion going on in the lab.

“What’s going on?” you asked, ready to leave your room and sprint to the lab.

“Mr. Bucky seems extremely agitated and-”

You didn’t even wait for the AI to finish, you just took off. You ran to the lab as fast as you could, and the closer you got the lab, the clearer you could hear Bucky’s screams.

Hang in there, I’m coming.

 You ran all the way and rushed into the lab, without even knocking. The sound of Bucky in distress made it hard for you to focus on anything else. And there you found him, being held down by four people while he tried to get away from their grip.

Your dad was in there, as well as Dr. Banner and Dr. Strange and their assistants were the ones holding Bucky down while he struggled with all his might to break free. He was weak, else he would’ve easily done so.

You looked around momentarily, trying to read the situation. You saw surgical tools and a prosthetic arm. But Bucky must’ve misunderstood the situation, given his past, and it must’ve have triggered some dark memory, you figured.

So you rushed to his side. “Stop it!” you yelled at those who were forcing him down on the chair. They stopped. The distress in your voice caught the doctors’ attention immediately, as well as your dad’s.

Bucky was indeed agitated, he was gasping for air and he looked like he was going through a nightmare.

“Bucky, hey it’s okay.” You reached out and cupped his face, bending down to face him. But the minute he looked at you, he visibly calmed down but still remained in that daze of confusion and traumatic memories.

“No please, I’ll be better…” he trailed off, breathless. His voice was strained and he looked hurt and confused more than anything. And your heart broke at his words.

His captors must’ve treated him so terribly to a point where he was still having flashbacks.

“Bucky, it’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you. No one’s gonna hurt you, I promise.” You tried to calm him down and it seemed to be working. “Look at me, breathe.” You held his hand and placed another hand on his cheek, forcing him to focus on just you.

The moment he looked into your eyes and saw the concern in them, he realized what he had done. But the world around you didn’t matter as his gaze locked with yours. And he took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled and leaned into your touch.

“It’s okay. Don’t apologize. It’s alright, Bucky. We’re here to help.” You spoke slowly, making sure he understands. “It’s just a new arm, you won’t feel any pain I promise. When you wake up, it’ll all be done. You’re gonna be okay.”

You noticed the little quiver of his lower lip and the soft look in his eyes, and you wanted nothing more than to take away all his misery, and make sure he never suffers another day of his life.

“Do you trust me?” you asked, and he nodded firmly as his fingers laced with yours and his grip tightened around your hand. “Then let us help you.” you spoke, and gave him a reassuring smile.

He looked up at you and whispered, “Don’t go.” It was barely audible, but you caught it.

“I’m right here. I’ll hold your hand, okay?” you gently urged him to lie down on the table again and you held his hand while they placed the mask on his face.

He looked at you, still a little scared. His eyes had lightened a lot since you first walked into the room. You gave him a little smile. “It’s okay. Just breathe.” And he listened.

By the fourth inhale of the gas, he was out. And his grip around your hand loosened so you carefully placed his arm back on the table and turned around to leave when Dr. Banner called out your name.

 “Could you go wait in my office? There’s something we need to talk to you about.” Bruce said and you nodded, carefully avoiding you dad’s eyes because you didn’t understand what was going on between you and Bucky, so you sure as hell wouldn’t be able to explain it to him.

You took one last look at Bucky’s unconscious frame, and then walked out of the lab. You took the elevator up to Dr. Banner’s office, walked in and waited.

You always believed that he had the best view of the lake from up here, so you admired the scenery until he walked in. Accompanied by your dad. And they both seemed a little less chatty than usual. It seemed to you that they were asking themselves the same questions that’s been on your mind since you first saw Bucky.

What was going on between you two?

And you decided to speak up first. “Okay, it’s not what you think. I don’t know what it is, I can’t explain it. I don’t know why but I…” you sighed and looked at your dad, “I don’t know.” you finished talking; rambling rather and waited for their response.

“Well,” Bruce spoke up first. “We might have an explanation about what’s going on. Again, it’s just a probable theory. But I’m beginning to think we might be right.” He removed his glasses and walked past you and over to his desk.

Tony gave you a faint smile. One you couldn’t quite decipher.

“I don’t understand. What is going on?” you asked, to neither in particular. And none of them answered.

“Have a seat.” Bruce pointed to the seat and you walked over and sat down. Tony followed you and sat next to you. Both of them shared a look before Bruce spoke up again.

 “We think, that um, Bucky might have formed a deep connection with you. He was in that freezer for a long time probably, and when he got out the first person he saw was you. That might have something to do with it, or it might also have been just his instincts.” Dr. Banner paused, waiting for your reaction.

You stared at his light green frame in pure confusion.

“I didn’t understand a word of what you just said. What connection?” you were utterly confused. Then your father took over.

“Banner here,” he pointed to Bruce, “thinks that the guy back there from the freezer, might have imprinted on you.” Tony spoke, sounding like his usual self, only a little more serious.

Imprint?

“Imprint? Like werewolves in ancient myths? Come on Bruce.” You didn’t believe it, and Tony gave Bruce a ‘what did I tell you’ look.

“I said the exact same thing.” Tony added, leaning back on his seat.

Bruce sighed, pushing a file of some sort towards you.

“It’s not a myth. It’s more common that we think. What do you think Stockholm syndrome is? Think about ducks, and how they immediately get attached to the first moving animal they see? How do human babies differentiate between who’s their mother and who isn’t?” he paused for a moment. “It’s not a myth. Sure, some stories exaggerate it. But it’s very much real, it’s a bunch of chemical reaction in the brain.”

He did have a point, but…

“Okay, but you’re comparing Bucky to species from Earth. He is not from Earth.” You pointed out, although it sounded more like a question.

“No but his kind must be very similar to ours. Humans evolved, otherworldly beings have as well.” Your dad answered, and you turned to look at him. “He can act like humans, one of the features of his kind probably just helps him adapt really quickly in whatever environment he is.”

“Also, we don’t know how long he’s been on Earth, could be decades. He probably learnt human behavior perfectly. He seems extremely intelligent.” Bruce completed.

And you slowly nodded.

“Well, he’s been experimented on, correct? What did they do to him?” you asked, and they both shrugged.

Bruce sighed.

“We can’t figure it out. It seems like he’s been through a lot, which makes the tests tricky to read in itself. Besides, his captors must have altered his DNA while experimenting, trying to humanize or weaponize him, we don’t know but it’s making it nearly impossible to know where he initially came from.” He explained.

And continued. “But despite the alterations, he didn’t completely lose his alien instincts and mannerisms. The way his eyes change color, his super strength despite being frozen for so long, and then the thing with you.”

You urged Bruce to continue.

“See, we have come across otherworldly beings who naturally bond for life with others, and form deep connections with that partner all their lives. And that bond includes dependency, trust, and protection. And of course, love. It won’t be a surprise if that’s what’s going on between the two of you. His DNA was altered, but he managed to keep most of his instincts intact. So, it’s highly probable that that’s just another feature of his kind.”

Love…

Could it be?

“So…” you gave it a quick thought and didn’t find anything wrong with it. “Is that vice versa, or… how does it work?”

You were never one to actually believe that nature could do all that. You had seen it, but you refused to believe that universe just has the power to bring two beings together, because it thinks that they belong together.

Bruce gave you a faint smile. “It depends. How do you feel about him?” he asked, and you could feel your dad’s stare on you but not in a bad way.

You remained quiet for a few seconds. Then Tony spoke up. “Honey, we’re just trying to help him and understand this better. It’s okay.” He said.

So you told them. “I care. I have since I saw him in the cryogenic chamber in that dungeon. I don’t know what it was, but when I went to check up on him the first night, I- something changed. I found myself worrying a lot more about him than I normally do. I care about him. A lot.”

Bruce smiled genuinely, and nodded. Your dad looked at the ground and smiled faintly. Then looked up at Bruce.

“Alright. There you have it then.” Bruce concluded.

You still had so many questions. “But what does that entail?” you asked and you immediately saw Bruce’s mood lighten up now that he was right all along.

He smiled at you. “I’d say-,”

Your dad cut him off with his usual, unfiltered sarcasm – his defense mechanism to deal with slightly stressful situations.

“Oh nothing, you just found yourself an alien boyfriend.” He said, with a straight face and nothing but sarcasm. Bruce rolled his eyes at Tony and sighed.

“Dad!” you tried to make him understand that you were actually being serious.

He raised an eyebrow at you, “What, you don’t like that? Alright how about, space boyfriend?” he sassed again.

“Dad, seriously!” you sighed and couldn’t believe his lack of seriousness in this situation.

“Tony, please.” Bruce warned him.

Tony sighed and scoffed. “Alright. I’ll stop.”

Bruce spoke up again.

“There’s nothing wrong. Human-alien bonds aren’t that rare. Plus, when he heals we could use someone like him on the team. He’s very… strong.” Intimidating was the word Bruce wanted to use, but chose not to.

Bruce receive a call which told him that his presence was needed in one of the labs, so he went away – leaving you and your dad alone in his office.

“Are we good, dad?” you asked, and watched him intently. He had a faint smile on.

“Yeah.” he replied.

You sighed at how hard it was to get him to talk.

“Does any of this bother you?” you asked. And he almost scoffed again as he looked up at you.

“I’m your dad. Any man being too close to you bothers me.” He spoke and stood up, walking over to the floor to ceiling windows and looked over at the lake. “Let alone an alien who imprinted on my daughter.” He muttered under his breath. “But I’ll live. Just don’t think you’re going anywhere alone with him anytime soon.”

You smiled and walked over to stand beside him. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my home.”

“Good.”

“You don’t like Bucky?” you felt that way, so you decided to just ask him about it.

But your dad wasn’t one who opened up quickly.

“Ask him to cut his hair, and then we’ll talk about liking him.” and after some more dose of sarcasm, Tony walked away. You smiled as you watched him leave the room. Your dad was truly, one of a kind.

 -

You were not allowed to see Bucky right after his surgery. They said he needed to rest. And given the recent revelations, Bruce suggested that they assign Bucky his own room on the same floor as you.

“But not too close.” Were your dad’s words when he heard the idea, but agreed to it nonetheless.

And so, Bucky was moved to his room. The doctors said he would wake up the following morning and he’d be good to go with the arm.

 By the time they shifted him into his new bedroom, it was late. So all you could do wait until the next morning to see him again.

You were thinking about everything, lying on your bed. Dr. Banner’s words repeated themselves in your ear. And you found yourself smiling at the thought of Bucky being… yours.

Imprint, bond, connection – whatever it was. You sure felt it, now that you knew what it was that you were feeling. And had been feeling since that second you heard his faint heartbeat in that dungeon.

You were lost in your thoughts, when your ears picked something up. A sound of distress, and the sound broke your heart.

---

Another World tag list:

@anqelicstarc

@fafulous​

@anarchyandchaos2713​

@rogueone0911

@threepupsinapuddle​

@ghostofmarvel

@sebastianstas-things​

@paranoid-borderline-insane​

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[sithsecrets]

beside one another | part 2 | din djarin x reader

part 2 to this little story! i’m a sucker for “there was only one bed,” but i’m an even bigger sucker for “sleeping together without sleeping together.”

---

Part 2

2.9k words

Mentions: None really? There’s no smut!

---

Mando doesn’t come lay down beside you that first night after you leave Cantonica, and it’s not looking like tonight will go any better. It’s… disheartening, to say the least, but you’re not entirely sure he doesn’t want to.

Everything was good the morning after the two of you slept together. The baby woke up in a fantastic mood, and Mando was able to capture his quarry with ease. The ride back to the Crest was a quiet one, but you still enjoyed it.

It was like everything went to shit the minute you set foot in the ship.

The quarry kicked up a fuss with Mando in the back of the hull, and the noise upset the baby. You and Mando managed to handle everything, and takeoff went off without a hitch. But then Mando got a comm from Greef Karga, and the two of them spent a long time talking in the cockpit about a new high-value quarry. Greef said he would give Mando the puck if he came to Nevarro by the next day, and Mando of course agreed. The two of you were headed that way anyway, and why wouldn’t he rush to pick up such an expensive assignment?

Flying through hyperspace, you made yourself and the baby ready for bed just a couple of hours later. Mando took his dinner in the cockpit while you showered, and it was like the two of you were completely out of sync after that, you winding down while he was just getting started.

You lingered by your little bed for a while, the baby sleeping soundly in his pram, but Mando hardly seemed to notice. He was busy doing this and that, tracking all throughout the hull. Finally, you not-so-subtly announced that you were going to sleep, and it was enough to make him pause for about half a second.

“I’m going to look over some of my weapons and do some maintenance on my armor before I turn in. Let me know if I’m being too loud.”

You tried not to look completely defeated, though it felt like your heart crumbled to ash in your chest.

“Alright,” was all that you’d said to that, and it took everything in your not to cry as you mustered up a smile.

After overthinking the last thirty-six hours for the better part of forty-five minutes you finally did fall asleep. You woke up just before the Crest broke atmosphere, and now you’re trekking through the bazaar with the baby on your hip, on your way to the meeting. Personally, you don’t think your attendance is necessary, but Mando feels otherwise. The way he talks, everybody wants to see you and the baby, but you’re not sure that’s true.

Hearing the Child’s squeals of delight and Greef playfully tosses him up in the air brightens your mood a little bit, and you’re less gloomy as you slide into the booth beside Mando. As per usual, they get right down to business, discussing the ramifications of taking this assignment. The quarry’s worth a fortune, but he’s hiding out on Hoth of all places. It’ll be a long journey over there, and the weather will be absolutely shit once you arrive. There’s not much in the way of a proper city on that shithole, save for a few small outposts, so you’ll need to stock up before you leave Nevarro. Despite all of this, Mando still says yes, and you don’t blame him— the price is just too good to pass up.

You barely have a second to breathe before Mando’s hauling you back to the ship, already listing off things that need to be done. The first thing you do is survey what clothes you, him, and the baby have, plucking at fabrics, checking for defects in the garments. You and the baby will be fine inside the ship, but Mando will be out in the elements. You mend a few of his thicker shirts and decide that those will get him through until he can find lodging.

The baby sits by as you inventory virtually everything else on the ship as well. Food, medical supplies, blankets— nothing is too trivial. Mando hangs back as you prepare for a massive shopping trip, saying that he has to visit the Armorer before he leaves. You’re distracted while he’s talking, but you do take him up on his offer to take the Child along with him.

By the time you’re done eating and bathing late that evening, you’re ready to fall asleep on your feet. Mando gets the baby down for the night, and though you’d love nothing more than to snuggle up next to him, beskar and all, you don’t have the energy for games. He’s a grown man— if he wants to lie down with you, he will.

… He doesn’t. Or at least you don’t think he does.

To be frank, you’re not even sure Mando sleeps at all that night. He wakes you up after seven or eight hours, telling you that the Crest will make landing on Hoth soon. The baby’s already been changed into his warmest outfit, so all you have to do is get yourself dressed. You pull on a couple of extra layers and then go about your usual morning routine, nibbling on some breakfast and entertaining the Child until the Crest breaks atmosphere.

You’re actually on Hoth for all of about fifteen minutes before Mando moves to leave, and only as he’s walking out the door do you realize what he’s about to do. It’s not like you’ve been angry with him these past few days or anything, but…

“Mando,” you blurt, catching him just before he opens the side door. He turns to you, and you’re suddenly wonder if beskar is a good insulator. “…Will you let me know you’re safe every so often? Just whenever you can?”

He nods, simply staring at you for one long moment.

“I’ll be back soon.”

And then Mando’s gone, exiting the Crest in a gust of icy wind that cuts you to the bone. The anxiety sets in almost immediately, clawing its way up inside your chest. There’s nothing for you to do now except wait, and you think that’s the worst part about all of this.

It feels like it takes an eternity, but two days do pass. You spend most of your time talking to the baby and tidying up, washing a few loads of clothes, wiping down a surface or five. You also worry about Mando, you worry about him a lot, but it’s the kind of concern that plays in the back of your mind like a song on loop.

Finally, just before you fall asleep that second night, Mando sends you a comm. You bolt straight up in bed to answer it, almost overwhelmed by the wave of relief that courses through you at the sound of his voice. Mando seems tired but otherwise okay, telling you that he’s at an outpost several klicks away. You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, taking great comfort in the fact that he’ll be sleeping in a warm bed.

“You’ll hear from me again soon,” and then it’s radio silence for three straight days.

Out of menial tasks to do, you try to sleep the days away, lounging in bed for hours at a time. The Child seems to be content with this, napping on and off and playing quietly when he is awake. Your head swims with images of what Mando could be up to, and few of them serve to comfort you. You’re not sure what about this mission has you so worked up, but you are, agonizing over every little scenario and circumstance. It’s the weather, you think, and the fact that this planet is so desolate. If he gets hungry or tired, there’s so few places for him to seek refuge. More than anything, though, your heart seizes at the very notion of Mando being cold. Something about that thought upsets you more than all the others, and it’s the hardest to shake once it enters your head.

The comm crackles to life again on day six, and you nearly burst into tears when you hear the message.

“I’ll be home in fifteen minutes.”

Just like the first time, a virtual tsunami of white-hot relief washes over your entire body. Every muscle in your body suddenly twitches to life, and it’s as if you were never sedentary in the first place. You fix a quick dinner, something hot and easy to gulp down, and then you throw two blankets and a change of clothes for Mando into the ship’s little dryer. There’s no harm done if he doesn’t want them, but you think it would be better to be safe than sorry.

Not even two minutes after you’re done with these chores, the back hatch creaks open, two sets of footsteps clanging against the metal. The quarry is surprisingly calm, speaking in a level, even tone even as Mando tells him to step into the carbonite chamber. You hear the freezing mechanisms engage, and then the Mandalorian is coming down the little hall and right to you.

Frost clings to every bit of him, the curves of his armor glittering under the artificial light. Even still, Mando looks good, he looks strong— you see no obvious signs of injury, and nothing about his stance or demeanor indicates that he’s in any pain. Still, you worry, so you ask if he’s alright, hiking the baby up on your hip.

“I’m fine,” Mando affirms, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Me and the baby are great,” you say at once, because you are. “Better now that you’re back.”

Mando nods again, and not for the first time since you met him do you wish you could see the expression on his face.

“You ready to get off this fucking planet?”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes, Mando, I’m ready to get off this planet.”

An amused huff through the vocoder, and then Mando’s headed for the ladder. You find a comfortable, stable place to sit, bracing yourself as the thrusters rumble to life. The ship lurches, and then you’re climbing up up up through Hoth’s atmosphere, headed most likely for Nevarro.

Mando’s gone for maybe ten minutes total, but he comes down with an empty bowl nonetheless, confirming that he did indeed eat his dinner. The baby clings to his father from then on, though Mando doesn’t seem to mind, holding the little bug on his hip as he does a bit of quick unpacking. You’re content to watch the two of them together for a while, something warm blooming in your chest every time Mando turns to look at you. You can’t believe you were ever upset with him before he left, and for something so trivial as not wanting to share your bed. His affection would make you happy, yes, but nothing could ever compare to how you feel in this moment knowing that your little family is safe and complete.

It doesn’t take long for the baby to tire out, his eyes already drooping and Mando sets him down gently in his pram. You tell the Child goodnight, stroking his face with a gentle touch until you know he’s asleep. Mando clicks the pram shut, and then it’s just the two of you alone in the silence of hyperspace. It’s gotten late, and you yourself aren’t too turned off by the idea of going to bed.

You go to your little pallet on the floor, fussing with some of your blankets as Mando walks behind you. He sidles up to the ‘fresher door, declaring, “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay,” is all you, fully expecting the conversation to be over. But then Mando pauses in the doorway, head turned in your direction.

“Make up the bed for us?”

It takes you about four whole seconds to process the words coming out of his mouth, and even after you’ve discerned their meaning, you decide that this must be a dream. But no. No, Mando’s still looking at you over his shoulder, the question still hanging in the air all around the both of you. Remembering yourself, you nod.

“I— Yeah. Yeah, I’ll make up the bed.”

Mando nods, and then he’s gone.

Heart pounding in your chest, you begin immediately, dragging Mando’s mattress out of his bunk, sliding yours up beside it. You throw a big blanket over both of them, folding the edges under and praying they’ll stay together during the night. It’s in this moment that you remember the things you put in the dryer earlier, and you curse yourself as you rush to turn it back on. The blankets in there will be fine for you and Mando to cover up with, so you just throw down a couple of pillows and call the bed done. And it’s a good thing, too, because the water cuts off in the ‘fresher not a second later.

Knocking gently on the door, you call out to Mando. “I have some clothes in the dryer for you,” you say, and it feels so strange to just talk to him right now. “You know, if you’re still cold.”

“Let me have them,” Mando calls back, and then the ‘fresher door opens just the ittiest bittiest bit. You hand the clothes over with your head turned, and then Mando emerges minutes later looking so unlike himself.

He’s got the helmet on, of course, but everything else is gone. The beskar, the boots, the utility belt— it’s just him, just his body dressed in plain clothes and a pair of socks. Mando’s by no means a small man, there’s no debating that, but he looks… softer like this. More approachable. You like it.

“Go lie down,” the Mandalorian commands, the tone of his voice picking at something hot and raw inside you. Needless to say, you rush to do as he says.

Mando walks around for a moment, checking on the baby, looking to see if the hatch the cockpit is closed. You watch him closely, nervous energy churning in the pit of your stomach. Finally, he comes to you, standing above the little bed you’ve made here on the floor.

“Close your eyes.”

Once again, you don’t hesitate to follow his directions. There’s a click, the sound of shuffling, and then you feel Mando sliding into bed beside you.

“Open your eyes, cyar’ika.”

No vocoder, is all you have time think before something not unlike panic seizes your body.

“Mando, why don’t you—?”

“Just open your eyes,” he presses, and… and there’s nothing there.

All you see is inky, all-encompassing blackness, the entire hull void of any and all light. You take a moment to become accustomed to seeing without being able to see, reaching across the bed to gauge where Mando is next to you. It’s a shock to find him so close, but you’re not about to complain.

“Is this… is this allowed?” you ask, growing shy when Mando takes your hands in his own. He tugs you forward, and you go willingly, tucking yourself up against his chest like you’ve been doing it all your life.

“Can you see me?” Mando asks.

You shake your head. “I can’t see anything.”

“Then it’s allowed.”

The urge to bicker about this hasn’t left you, but it’s certainly fading fast. “But you’re not supposed to take your—”

“I’m not supposed to show anyone my face. Never said I couldn’t take my helmet off.”

Mando’s correction is a gentle one, but his words are enough to lay the subject to rest. The two of you lie beside one another like that for a long time, breathing, becoming accustomed to being in each other’s arms. You can’t remember the last time someone simply held you, though your mind conjured images from a time long past. They’re just vague little whisps of memory, flashes of you laid out in a shopkeeper’s bed on Tatooine, but you don’t remember that being nearly this good. Mando is warm and solid in front of you, and he holds you… You’d say he holds you like you’re something precious, but you aren’t sure if that would be going a step too far.

Some small, insecure part of you is sure that this is going to be ruined any second. Mando’s going to decide he doesn’t want to do this, or worse yet, he’ll decide that he wants more and you’ll have to tell him you’re not ready for that. It’s not like you haven’t—

“Your pulse is fast,” Mando says, making you flinch in surprise.

“What?” you ask stupidly, because… what?

“Your pulse,” Mando repeats, “it’s fast. Why?”

And if you weren’t anxious before, you certainly are now. Leave it to a fucking master warrior to comment on something as miniscule as your heartbeat…

“I— I’m nervous, I guess. To be here with you like this.”

Mando rubs your back with one strong, warm hand, and think you might actually start purring.

“You don’t need to be,” he murmurs. “Sleep, cyar’ika.”

And though nothing Mando’s said is actually very comforting, you do relax.

Minutes later, the two of you are sound asleep.

[clonecest-bin-account]

Hurt/Comfort: Wolffe/Cody (Maybe during Rebels???) Wolffe and Gregor decided to help Rex and the Ghost crew with a little mission given to them by the Rebels, what they didn't know was that the Empire sent a purge trooper after them. The the three instantly recognize the actions of the vid but there was something familiar to all of them that they couldn't quite tell. So, they decided to help him get free from the chip but when the helmet finally came off they froze to see Cody, they instantly became even more determined and tried their hardest to make Cody remember them and fight the chip.

Then Wolffe became all fluffy and acted like how he was before the war 🤗

(Boy I don’t know what to say. This is the longest prompt I’ve ever written. It kinda too a life on its own lmao. Hope you like it!)

Another day, another war to fight. Wolffe should be used to it, but to be honest every day feels harder that the previous one, even though now he has weekly appointments with a mind healer; he’s been told that it’s normal, that progress isn’t always about going up, but he’s tired of this nonetheless.

It’s during these moments of particular weakness that he allows himself to imagine Cody sitting beside him, calling him a di’kut and a chakaar; he has to bite his tongue not to reply to him, knowing that if someone saw him talking to nothing it wouldn’t be pretty.

It hurts, hurts like nothing else, but it also brings him a strange sense of comfort to imagine his lost love. In Wolffe’s mind, he hasn’t aged a day since the last time they saw each other: his hair isn’t white, no wrinkles adorn his face, his gaze is still fiery and determined, body toned and ready to jump to action if the situation requires it.

 In moments of even greater weakness, Wolffe wishes he were there with him.

He’s failed him, he’s failed him so bad: instead of trying to rescue him, he’s decided to hide, broken and afraid. Now he doesn’t even know if he’s alive or not; deep down inside, he hopes he’s dead, knowing that Cody would hate what the Empire has done to him and the rest of the vode.

 Even deeper down he really must want him to be alive, because as soon as the news of the Empire having sent a squad of purge troopers after them, he immediately begins to hope that he’d find a familiar face behind one of the buckets.

By the footage they’ve gathered of this squad, one of them does appear to move like one of them; it’s not a feeling that can be described, a sort of sixth sense that makes him, Rex and Gregor understand immediately that it’s a brother.

Now comes the hard question: what should they do about the mysterious vod? Trying to free him would be a tedious task, but if Wolffe has learned something about the Ghost company - he can’t speak for all the Rebel Alliance cause he still doesn’t trust the organization as a whole - is that if there’s a chance that they might get to save even just one life, they’ll take it with no hesitation.

So they ask, almost beg even - if only their pride didn’t stop them before they could - to help, and are all relieved when they agree to help them free their vod.

 “Wolffe, do you think…”

“I don’t know.”

He was about to chew Rex out for having had enough courage to say what Wolffe himself has been thinking for a while, but he supposes he should at least be grateful of the fact that he’s been sensible enough to wait until he and Wolffe were alone to talk about it.

Rex sighs, sitting beside him. They weren’t built to sustain being alone for too long, meaning that the closeness is now much appreciated.

“I don’t want to believe it,” Wolffe admits in the end. “Because if it’s not him, then…”

“I know,” Rex nods, understandingly. “I know…”

They remain silent, knowing that it’s best to close this discussion before they can begin making theories that would only result into them getting hurt once they find out the truth.

It must seem pretty gloomy from an outside perspective, because when Gregor finally gets to join them, he too doesn’t say anything; he just walks up to them, settling on the other side of Wolffe and immediately closing his arms around his brothers.

Even as old men, they’d never say no to a good ol’ cuddle pile.

 The plan is simple: they need to isolate the clone from his companions, so that they can drag him away and have his chip removed. Ghost company will take care of the other troopers, while Wolffe, Rex and Gregor will take care of the clone.

All three of them have been granted a tranquilizer syringe that they will use to get the vod to sleep; it doesn’t feel good having to do something like this, but it’s necessary.

Wolffe’s so nervous…

 This feeling of uneasiness accompanies him throughout the entire mission. He and his brothers are supposed to pretend that they’re on a recon mission, and that they haven’t noticed they’ve been followed, thus convincing the purge team to strike and ambush them, only to be then ambushed by the rest of the Ghost team.

Well, it doesn’t sound like a professional tactic at all, but it’s not like Wolffe isn’t familiar with unconventional tactics at all; his Jedi - traitor, no, Jedi… no! - might’ve been more reasonable than Skywalker, but he’s winged it many times as well, with Wolffe that had to chase after him to keep him alive.

Honestly, as long as it works…

 Somehow, it does work.

Wolffe will have to thank whatever cosmic entity governs the universe that it did, but not now. Now he needs to focus on the task at hand.

They have surrounded the vod, though he doesn’t seem intimidated by the situation. Wolffe wonders if he’s capable of feeling anything at all.

Just hang on, brother. You’ll be free soon.

 Despite being flanked, the trooper’s holding his own: he’s knocked the blaster right out Wolffe’s hands, and the two of them are stuck into a hand-to-hand combat. Wolffe isn’t as young as he used to be, and it’s hard for him to keep up; just what the hell have they given to this trooper? He should be as old as Wolffe and yet he moves faster and hits harder than he should be able to do.

The worst thing is how familiar this all feels to Wolffe: he’s spent so many sparring sessions dancing around like this with…

He gets kicked to the face by a powerful roundhouse kick, which makes him stumble, but after shaking his head slightly, Wolffe recovers immediately, knowing that even a moment of distraction could be fatal in situations like this one.

There’s no time for hesitation, and after yelling his heart out he rushes at him, tackling him to the ground in one go. The trooper immediately tries to free himself, kicking and screaming, but no matter how much he’s hurting him, Wolffe doesn’t let him go. He’ll be damned before he does that.

 Immediately Rex and Gregor rush to him, Gregor going to remove the bucket while Rex prepares the tranquillizer.

As soon as the helmet’s removed, Wolffe feels the bile rising in his stomach - he’s so close to vomiting. There’s no mistaking that brow scar: indeed the trooper that has been sent after them is Cody.

“Cody…” Wolffe can’t help but to mutter.

Cody doesn’t stop struggling; it’s like he doesn’t even recognize his name. It hurts watching him like this, it hurts so much, but soon he’ll be free.

Even with him pinned it’s hard for Rex to get him tranquillized: not seeing any alternative, Cody has begun biting. Wolffe’s gotta give it to him, he still has his combative spirit.

 Once Cody goes limp, eyes closing as unconsciousness takes over, Wolffe can finally relax.

He should pull away, get up and take Cody to the ship, but he still doesn’t move, curled protectively around Cody, his Cody, who is back to him, or well, he will be hopefully.

“Wolffe, we need to go!” It’s Rex the one who brings him back to reality. Right, Gregor’s cover fire can protect them only for so long.

“Right…” he mutters, only now getting up. He’s still the first one who reaches for Cody, resting his body on his shoulder as they begin to make their retreat, leaving the Ghost crew to deal with the rest of Cody’s squadmates.

Wolffe would feel bad about leaving them on their own, if not for the fact that they need to bring Cody to safety. This is his priority, now.

 “It’s going to be alright.”

Wolffe knows Rex is saying it more to reassure himself than to reassure him, so he stays silent. On the other side of the wall, Cody is undergoing to chip removal surgery.

He has no idea about what he’ll find after it’s over: first of all there’s not even the certainty that it’ll work, secondly, if it does, will Cody be the same Cody Wolffe knew and loved, or will he be different? Just how much of his old self will be in there? Wolffe’s afraid to find out.

In an attempt to distract himself from those thoughts, he focuses on how Cody looked when they’ve found him; his hair has gotten completely white as well, and it’s shorter than his usual cut. What caught his attention however isn’t that, nor the wrinkles or anything else that he already sees on his own old face, but the new scars he had at the corner of his mouth and on his right eyebrow, which makes him wonder how he got those; if he finds the cause of them, he swears to the Force itself…

 He gets pulled away from those thoughts when the medic comes out of the room.

“How did it go?” Wolffe immediately asks, worried. Please let him be fine please let him be fine please let him be fine--

“The chip has been removed successfully, but… He doesn’t remember anything.”

Wolffe freezes in his place, what does he…

“It’s still too early to discern if it’s just a momentary condition or not. For now let him rest and recuperate from the surgery, then I’ll see that you can visit him.”

Wolffe almost drops to his knees as the news comes crashing down upon him.

Have they really lost Cody then? Just right when they thought they had gotten him back?

Why? Why did this have to happen to him?

 “Wolffe? Wolffe!”

Rex shakes his vod, who only then comes back to his sense.

“Y-Yeah? What is it?”

“You need to calm down, vod. Get some rest.”

“I can’t, Cody… He’s in there,” Wolffe replies. He must be so pathetic, but he doesn’t have the energy to put himself together at the moment. This is all so confusing and painful it makes him want to scream.

“And he’d want you to get some rest,” Rex retorts, gently - but firmly - grabbing Wolffe by the shoulders. “I want to stay too, but I know Cody wouldn’t want us to neglect our health for him.”

He’s right, damn it, he’s right, Wolffe knows it, but… He sighs. Fine.

“Alright, let’s go…”

 There have been only a couple of times in which Wolffe has felt this defeated, and yet, in the bleakness of it all, there’s still a ray of hope: Cody’s condition might not be permanent, and even if it were, Wolffe swears he’ll still stay by his side.

It’s the least he can do, as a penance for not being able to save him sooner.

 “Did it really happen?”

“Of course it did! Would I lie to you about it?”

“Well…”

Wolffe should be mad, but there’s a smile on Cody’s face as he speaks, so he can’t really bring himself to do it, even at the cost of his own dignity.

 He’s gotten used, by now, to Cody not remembering. It was painful during their first visits - he couldn’t even stay in his presence for too long or else it would’ve become too much - but they’ve made progress.

Cody’s still in forced rest, and Wolffe does whatever he can to remain by his side. He might’ve reverted to some old habits he had before everything went to shit, but he still tries to keep his distance, since he can’t be certain that Cody would want him to act like he used to, not while he doesn’t remember him.

One thing that surprised him the most is that Cody asked him - and not just him, but Rex too since they were close as well - to tell him stories of their past. Wolffe has no idea if it’s just so that he can distract himself from everything else that is going on around them, or if he genuinely wants to remember. Nonetheless, he’s more than happy do to it, which brings us to the present.

 “You’re telling me that you pushed me forward when Alpha asked for a volunteer to show off a grappling move, that I got my ass kicked, but then I used the same move on you on our next sparring match?”

It pains Wolffe that he sounds so doubtful of his skills, or of anything else about him. He’s familiar with how it feels like not knowing who you are anymore - he’s gone through the same things, and he’s not even sure he’s over it now. This Cody has no idea about how great of a person he used to be, which makes it Wolffe’s job to remind him.

“Yeah, you whooped my shebs,” he replies. “Somehow you’ve managed to pull that move off after being subjected to it only once. It was infuriatingly impressive.”

A light smirk appears on Cody’s face.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.”

Despite everything, Cody still teases him like he used to do when he was himself. Maybe this isn’t such a lost battle after all.

 Days pass, then weeks. Wolffe still doesn’t stop visiting Cody and staying by his side, alternating with Rex since Cody himself seemed quite unhappy about the fact that he was neglecting his health for him - Rex was right about that.

His memory still hasn’t come back completely, but he’s beginning to remember some small things, especially names, which might’ve not been that great, since now he must also carry the weight of the knowledge that, of all his old friends and acquaintances, very few remain.

Even though sometimes Wolffe can’t help but to feel hopeless about this whole deal - what if Cody never comes back? What if he doesn’t want him anymore? - he still keeps going, pushing himself for him.

Until…

 “Oh, Wolffe…”

“What is it, Cody?”

Cody stretches a trembling hand towards him; he’s shaking.

“Wolffe, I remember…”

A chocked sob escapes his lips, and Wolffe’s immediately beside him, keeping him tight in his arms, whispering that everything’s fine, that he’s safe.

“I-- We… We kissed, I remember,” Cody continues. “It was right before Utapau. You told me that I’d better come back alive or that you would’ve killed me again.”

At those words, even Wolffe can’t hold back some tears. What Cody just said really happened: it was the last time they saw each other before the Republic fell. The fact that Cody remembers it now is… great.

“Yes, we did,” he says then, knowing that Cody needs a confirmation that yes, it’s all real.

 Silence falls between the two, before Cody reaches a realization.

“Shit,” he mutters, eyes wide and a horrified expression on his face. “Wolffe, I’m so sorry--”

“Nothing about this is your fault,” Wolffe interrupts him before he can say some really di’kutla shit. “You didn’t ask for this, and don’t you think that I blame you for this, because I don’t.”

Cody nods, not saying anything about it. Nobody mentions the fact that they’re both crying.

 They must be such a pathetic view, two old fucks crying their eyes out like a bunch of shinies, but that’s not what matters.

“Do you want me to stay here?” Wolffe asks, afraid that, now that he’s beginning remembering things, his presence might be too much for Cody. He doesn’t want to leave him, but if he needs a moment - or more of them - alone, he’d be willing to grant him that.

At those words, however, Cody grabs his arm, keeping it tight in his own.

“Please,” he says, sounding so vulnerable that he breaks Wolffe’s heart.

 They make some space on the cot to accommodate both of them. It’s a tight fit but it works just fine.

Things are still pretty bleak but there’s still hope.

Who knows, maybe it’s really beginning to get better.