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#headandheart
savemefromtoxic · 2 years
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❤️‍🩹 The heaviest burdens we carry, are in our own heads & hearts Rick dC @savemefromtoxic #burdens #heavy #heavyburdens #headandheart #emotionalhealth #emotionalhealth #carryweight #heavy #rickdc https://www.instagram.com/p/Co5HVvVS0Cg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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jrich103 · 3 years
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Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, filling it with a steady and perpetual serenity. 
- Joseph Addison
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The battle between heart and mind
Mind: I'm tired. I hurt. Please leave me alone. Stop beating me down. Every damn day I wake up and there you are: ready to tear me down. You don't even let me take a breath before the fear creeps in. Before the dread, the doubt, the weight, the thick of it all. How many games must I play with you for you to leave me alone. I'm so fucking tired. Go pick on someone else for awhile. I have no idea what I'm doing. I look around and am not quite sure who's life this is. Has it always been this way? Have I always felt so heavy, so lost, so fragile, so sad? Where is the turning point? The silver lining? Or do we just play this game forever...
Heart: you are beautiful. You are so much stronger than the noise. You've been a warrior for so many lifetimes. Look at all you've conquered, overcome. You got this. You are not the sadness, the worry, the dizzy, the doubt, the pain, the weakness, the void. YOU are everything. You are everyone. You are the only one that can heal you. You can roam the earth for answers, you can bleed others dry for help, but everything lives in you. I'm here. As long as it takes to remove all that covers me. Layers of life, I am here. And I believe in you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. No one will love you more. It's universally impossible. You got this beautiful one. Keep going. 1 day at a time. You might not be able to see the progress, but from my point of view, tears of joy for your bravery, strength, tenacity and infinite goddess spirit.
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Creating and Maintaining Relationships 5: An Important Distinction About Attachment and Healthy Relationships
Creating and Maintaining Relationships 5: An Important Distinction About Attachment and Healthy Relationships
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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
What’s the difference between an attachment and a healthy relationship? And, why does it matter? Well, it’s only been in the past year, really, that I can really make this distinction. What does that mean?
Well, I hold a degree, actually two of them, that stipulate that I know about this distinction. Yep. And, while those pieces of paper are in frames, and…
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garnett-2000 · 4 years
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✒ #creativejuices #creativejuicesinmyhead Here’s my own acapella cover version of Head & Heart ~ @joelcorry ft. @mnek #headandheart #headandheartcover (covered) By Garnett @garnett_2000  #LetTheMusicPlay 《The creative team behind this track @lewisjustkiddin @iamrobertharvey @neaveapp @slang @yeahboymusic 》 @relentlessrecs @awal  @amuse.io @bbcintroducing @reelsharefestival 🎶🎧 #instacover #cover #singer #coversong @music.and.covers #musicandcovers #andtagme #pluggers #promoters  #bloggers #influences #singers #sining #siningtalent #topvocalist #vocalsgoal @talent_talks @talentflavors #trending #singingcover #talentedvoices #talentedmusicians (at Let the Music Play) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCLW_foF3qk/?igshid=1m973h9490gok
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. The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart. . + Thích Nhat Hanh + . Artwork: @t.radz . #thichnhathanh #headandheart #journey #openyourheart #buddhism #heart #enlightenment #love (at Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwQPdqzD8hg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r7hyvillk5v2
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mleighsquickspot · 3 years
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Head and Heart 🌿💚
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babskelley · 4 years
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It's a #goodday👌 #keepasong in #stereo in your #HeadandHeart & #keepmovingforward 🎶🎶🎶 https://www.instagram.com/p/CHoUNmTHK3S/?igshid=188nhx8qu6p9i
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Next #comicbook in the works is a #bellarke one!! As per requested by the fabulous @ohmybubbles66 !!! Bet you all know the scene !! 😆😆😆 it'll be ready in time for @con_geda !! #headandheart #bellamyblake #clarkegriffin #the100 #cwthe100 #elizataylor #bobmorley
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manyfandoms100-blog · 7 years
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Life Isn’t Fair
She couldn't do it. She couldn't shoot him. She couldn't lose another person she loved. But she couldn't risk humanity for one friend. The sound of the gunshot brought more people from the bunker into the small room.
"Bellamy, please stop." Clarke pleaded.
A tall man stepped towards Bellamy, seeing that he was going to open the hatch, "I have a son in here, I can't let you open that."
He, along with a few others, grabbed Bellamy and started pulling him away from the hatch. Away from his sister.  
"I'm sorry, Bellamy." Clarke mumbled as her eyes started filling with tears.
Bellamy fought against the grasp of the men pulling him away. He screamed at them to let him go, but to no avail they continued. Clarke followed numbly watching the former leader crumble at the thought of losing his sister. The men put Bellamy in an empty room, the door locked behind him.
"You two stay here and make sure he doesn't get out." Clarke told two men that were standing by. They nodded and stood on either side of the door.
Clarke made her way back to the office, hoping to get ahold of Octavia one more time.
"Octavia, Octavia come in." She grabbed the radio on the table.
"Clarke? Clarke, what's going on?" She radioed in a few minutes later.
Clarke took a deep breath, "Are you by yourself?"
"Yeah, what's this about? Is Bellamy okay?" She asked quickly.
"Bellamy is fine. But you need to go."
"What? Why? Clarke what are you doing?" Octavia got more irritated each time she asked a question.
"Go find Monty and Raven. They will know what to do. Raven is at the lighthouse, just get to her."
"Clarke, where is my brother?"
"He was going to open the hatch, I couldn't risk humanities chance at survival. I'm sorry, Octavia. Bellamy is okay, just get to the lighthouse. Just get to the lighthouse Octavia." With those words she placed the radio back on the table.  
"Clarke? Clarke!" Octavia repeated into the radio.
Clarke closed her eyes tightly, like if she kept them closed long enough everything would be okay again. She just condemned hundreds of people to their death, including some of her own people. Jaha walked by the door and saw the broken girl.
Jaha placed a hand on Clarke's shoulder, "You made the right choice. Just think of the bigger picture."
"But how many people had to die for us to get here." She pushed away his hand and sat down on the couch.
She sat there for what felt like hours, waiting on word from Octavia. She hoped that she would be okay, because she knew Bellamy would never forgive her if something happened to his sister. Finally she heard a voice in the radio.
"Clarke, Clarke are you there?" The voice spoke.
"Raven?" She picked the radio back up, "I'm here."
"Clarke, Octavia made it here. So did Harper, Monty and Echo. We have a plan, but we don't have much time." Raven told Clarke.
Clarke let out a sigh of relief, "Thank god." She breathed. "What's the plan?"
"We have to go back to space. The satellites are aligned, there is a rocket that we can take back. We're going back to the Ark."
"You all will be okay, right?"
"I'll take care of them Clarke. We will be fine. You do your part and take care of everyone there."
"Where is Bellamy? I need to talk to him." Octavia's voice cut off Raven.
"I'm sorry Octavia, we don't have time. We have to go now." Raven told the girl.
"Clarke, I need you to tell my brother that I love him and that I'm sorry for everything. Make sure he is okay for me." Clarke could hear the sadness in the Octavia's voice, "Tell him he is the best big brother a girl could ask for. Will you tell him that?"
"I'll tell him Octavia. Now go. Survive. We'll be here when all this is over."
"See you in five years." She sadly laughed, "Take care of him for me."
"I will." Clarke promised.
Those were the final words Clarke heard from the group. She knew they would be okay. They would take care of each other. That's what they always do.
"May we meet again." Clarke spoke softly as she turned the radio off.
As Clarke walked through the hallway, she could hear the yells of Bellamy.
"Let me out of here!" He yelled again.
Clarke opened the door and walked inside, seeing Bellamy handcuffed to the bed frame.
"If anything happens to her-" He began.
"She's fine." Clarke stopped him, "She is with Raven, Monty, Harper and Echo. They are going back to the Ark."
"She's okay?" Bellamy's voice broke.
"She's okay." Clarke leaned down and uncuffed him.
"You was going to kill her." Bellamy realized, "Why would you do that? She is one of us. She is my sister."
"I had to think with my head, not my heart. I knew that Raven would have a plan, she's too stubborn to die. I knew Octavia would be safe with them. I'm sorry Bellamy."
He stood up and rubbed his wrists. The building started shaking and small rocks rained down. Clarke tensed at the sudden movement. They all knew it was Praimfaya. The lights flickered on and off. Clarke felt Bellamy's hand intertwine with hers as the lights went out momentarily. They squeezed each others hands and for a moment, they weren't afraid. The lights flickered on a moment later. The two turned towards each other. Clarke noticed their hands were still intertwined.
"Sorry." She awkwardly started to pull her hand away and walk away.
Bellamy reached out again and grabbed her hand, stopping her. She turned to look at him, seeing that he was staring at her. His eyes flickered to her lips, then without a second thought he started leaning forward. Clarke didn't hesitate as she too leaned forward. Their lips moving in sync with each other. Clarke's hand starting wrapping around Bellamy's neck as Bellamy's snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him.
"Oh ummm," A voice stopped them, "I'll just, ummm, come back later."
The pulled away quickly to see Miller standing at the door with a sly grin playing on his lips. He backed away then turned down the hallway.
"You owe me a drink Murphy!" He yelled down the hallway, "I won the bet!"
Murphy yelled back down the hallway to him, "Dammit Bellamy!"
Bellamy and Clarke slowly walked down the hallway where Miller had previously been. When they turned the corner, they saw people from the original camp waiting with a grin.
"What is this?" Clarke was the first to speak.
"This is what we call the winners circle." Miller placed his arm on her shoulder and stretched the other arm to the people standing around. "Thanks to your love for each other, we won."
"How long has this been going on for?" Bellamy asked the group.
"Since we landed at the drop ship." Another kid smirked.
"I would suggest all of you walk away now." Bellamy crossed his arms.
They all started high-fiving each other as they dispersed.
Murphy stood leaning against the wall and continued shaking his head at the two, "You just had to go and kiss her, didn't you?"
The first week in the bunker went by fast. The first day was spent relishing in the fact that they were alive. Day two was spent fixing up their rooms. Day three was spent figuring out the details of their survival. Day four, they figured out everyone's jobs. Day five, six, and seven everyone got used to their new lives. After a month, things quietened down. Everyone had a schedule that they followed, it was order.
"Hey, Bellamy was looking for you." Murphy told Clarke as he walked by, continuing down the hallway with Emori at his side. "He's in the office."
Clarke nodded and walked into the office.
"You've been gone a month now." Bellamy talked in the radio, not knowing Clarke was in the room. "I wish you were down here with us, but I'm glad you're okay. Hope everything's okay up there. Tell Raven to fix the damn radio up there." He sighed and turned the radio off.
Clarke cleared her throat, "You were looking for me?"
Bellamy noticed her and walked towards her, "Yeah, I wanted to ask you something."
"Okay."
He ran his hand across the back of his neck, "Now that everyone is calmed down, I-I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with me?" Clarke grinned, "I would love to, Bellamy."
Bellamy looked at the ground with a smile then returned his gaze to the girl in front of him. He held his arm out for her to take. She smiled, taking ahold of it. They walked down the halls, towards the mess hall. Earning looks as they walked.
"Bellamy. Clarke." Miller grinned wildly as they walked past him.
"Shut it, Miller." Bellamy warned.
He held his hands up in defense with a grin.
They stayed in the mess hall well past serving time. Hours ticked by as they just talked to each other. Growing closer as each minute passed. Falling deeply and madly in love with each other, even more than they already had. They were a piece to a whole. The better half of each other, who pushed the other to become a better person. They were the head and the heart, and one could not live without the other.
By the end of the first year, everyone had watched Murphy and Emori grow closer. They all knew what was coming next. Murphy ran through the hallway with Emori to find Clarke and Bellamy.
"Clarke! Bellamy!" Murphy called to the two when he finally spotted the two.
They stopped and turned towards Murphy.
"We have news." Murphy smiled.
"Oh god, you're pregnant." Clarke looked over to Emori.
"What? No." She rejected.
"We are getting married." Murphy pulled Emori into his side, "Today. We want to get married today."
"I guess we have a wedding to plan then." Clarke smiled.
"John told me that I should choose a girl to stand with me. I was wondering if you would be that person, Clarke."  Emori looked towards the blonde.
"I would be honored."
"And I would like you to be that person for me." Murphy looked towards Bellamy, who nodded.
Clarke convinced Jaha to perform the ceremony and an announcement was made to everyone. It would be held in the main part of the bunker, which would hold everyone. Emori had found a dress in one of the rooms of the bunker, nothing special just a plain dress. She complained the whole time, but Clarke finally convinced her. They told Emori the main parts about the wedding that was customary on the Ark, since she was from the ground. Clarke raided the garden of the flowers that grew around the edges, wanting to make the wedding special for the two that she had grown closer to.
The wedding was just about to start when Clarke caught a glimpse of Bellamy talking secretly with Emori. Emori turned to look at Clarke, she turned back to Bellamy and nodded. Everyone took their places as Macallan played the guitar that was found. Murphy caught a glimpse of his soon to be wife walking towards him. He grinned at her, taking her hand. The wedding went by without a hitch. Everyone stayed in the room to do speeches. The newlyweds were the first to start.
"I would just like to thank the psycopath himself, Jaha. Without him taking me on his Moses trip across the desert, i would have never met the beautiful woman standing next to me." Murphy started his speech, "I can't wait to start our lives together." He placed a kiss on Emori's cheek.
Clarke went next, "Honestly, I didn't see Muphy getting married. He was a real ass back at camp. I guess it just takes that one person to change you completely." She looked at the newlyweds but meant it for another too.
After the wedding, all the unmarried people were put in the center. Emori held the flowers in her hand and counted backwards, ready to throw the bouquet. On one she stopped and started walking towards Clarke. Clarke stood there for a moment, surprised. The bouquet was handed to her. Emori returned back to her husband who grinned and wrapped his arms around her. Clarke looked around the room to see everyone staring at her, everyone seemingly knowing what was about to happen except her. The crowd parted and Bellamy walked out. She watched him walk towards her. He smiled and looked at the floor occasionally as he walked. When he got to Clarke, he grabbed her hand.
"We've been through a lot together, you and I. We didn't like each other very much at first, that's no secret. But eventually I saw the better side of you. You are the head of the entire operation, even when I wouldn't admit it. You are the head, I guess that makes me the heart, but it makes us better together. I love you Clarke Griffin." He got down on one knee, "So would you do me the great honor of marrying me?"
Clarke was practically in tears as she started nodding, "Yes."
Bellamy grinned and picked the girl up, spinning her in circles. He placed her down with a kiss on her lips. Everyone around clapped and whistled. Miller being the loudest. Clarke looked over at her mother, to find her smiling. Kane stood next to her, approving of the couple.
"Way to steal my thunder." Murphy gave Bellamy a small guy hug, "Congratulations man."
"Yeah, back at you." Bellamy laughed.
Murphy gave Clarke a hug before returning to Emori. He picked her up bridal style as she laughed. He carried her down the hallway back to their shared room.
The day of the wedding approached a month later. Everything being planned slowly. Clarke moved into Bellamy's large room a week before the wedding.
Clarke walked up to Kane that day, "You got a second?"
"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I wanted to ask you a quick question. Since my dad is gone, I wanted to know if you would walk me down the aisle? I know you aren't technically my dad, but you're the closest thing Bellamy and I have to a dad."
He seemed shocked by her request but turned into happiness, "I would be happy to."
Clarke smiled back before getting ready for her wedding.
Clarke held Kane's arm as they walked down the aisle together. Clarke thought she would be nervous, but she wasn't. She kept her eyes on the man in front of her. They stared at each other intently. Their eyes never leaving each other. Kane let go of her hand as Abby cried in the front row.
"We are gathered here today to witness the union between Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake." Jaha began, "If there is anyone who would like to say anything against this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." When nobody said anything, except the occasional sniffle, he continued. "Do you have vows that you would like to say to one another?"
Bellamy started, "Since the day I met you, I've always been drawn to you. Maybe not in this way at first, but we've always been apart of each other. I never want to spend another day without you in my life and I hope that day never comes. I love you Clarke Griffin."
Jaha looked over to Clarke. Then she began.
"From day one there wasn't a day that has went by that I don't think about you. I'm glad that we changed for the better and grew to love each other. You are the better half of me, Bellamy Blake."
"Now do you Bellamy Blake take Clarke Griffin to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do." Bellamy stared into Clarke's ocean blue eyes.
"Do you Clare Griffin take Bellamy Blake to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"
"I do." Clarke stared back.
Jaha smiled, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
Bellamy leaned over and kissed Clarke, pulling her closer to him.
"Whoooo!" Miller clapped wildly as his date shook his head at his antics, Jackson wasn't amused with him.
Everyone danced to the music that Macallan played for the wedding. It was beautiful. Clarke walked over to him while he was taking a break.
"Thanks for playing." Clarke thanked.
"No problem, just glad I could be of service." He smiled.
"My now sister Octavia would like you." Clarke told him, before walking away. Leaving him to play again.
Clarke leaned against one of the walls, watching everyone dance. Abby had pulled Bellamy onto the dance floor to have a 'talk'. Clarke heard a small chirp come behind her and looked at the ground to see a small cricket jump out of the vents. Possibly giving them some sign of hope for them getting out of there one day. Emori walked over to her and stepped on it by accident. Clarke rolled her eyes.
"How's the married life treating you?" She leaned against the wall by Clarke.
"Considering I have been married for a few hours, I'd say its good so far." Clarke told her.  "What about you?"
"I'm pregnant." Emori stared at the ground before walking away.
Clarke stood there awestruck. The cockroach was gonna be a dad.
Clarke and Bellamy had been married for about six months, when Clarke felt something was wrong. All day she was on edge. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought. She went into the medical area on her own time and ran tests. Finally it was the one test she dreaded. And of course, it came back positive. She stared at it for a few minutes, not wanting to believe it.
Emori and Murphy walked into the medical area as she was leaving. Murphy had probably pushed her to go back for the fourth time this week, him becoming a tad overprotective of her. He never left her side now, always giving her all his attention.
"Hey, could you come by later and paint the baby room?" Emori stopped Clarke.
"Uh, yeah, I'd be happy to." Clarke gave a small smile as she left.
Clarke sat in the office thinking about how everything would change now. Her thoughts ran like wildfire, taking over everything. Then she remembered she was supposed to be painting Emori's baby room. She grabbed the paint from her shelf, that was found in the supply closet. She knocked on the door and was let in almost immediately. Emori led her to the connecting room and pointed to the wall she wanted painting, Clarke not paying attention to  a word she said. She blankly started painting a dog on the wall with the forest behind him.
"Are you okay?" Emori asked behind her, putting her hand over her belly.
"I'm sorry what?" She snapped out of it but stayed focused on her painting.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Really? Because everytime you say you're fine, you're normally lying."
Clarke sighed, knowing her friend had caught her, "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Emori walked towards her, "Have you told Bellamy?"
"Not yet." Clarke finished up the final details of the painting.
"Well go then, go tell him." Emori started pushing her out the door, "I'll bring your paints to you later. Now get out of here."
Clarke slowly walked to the office she knew Bellamy would be in, probably finishing up a one way conversation with his sister. Just like she predicted, Bellamy laid across the couch staring up at the ceiling. Clarke took a seat in the chair, thinking about how to say it. They sat there in quiet for a few minutes, before Bellamy finally looked at her.
"What do you think they're doing up there right now?" Bellamy asked referring to the group in space.
Clarke laughed at the thought she had, "Well I think right now, Octavia is trying to choke Echo out."
Bellamy laughed at the thought of his sister.
"Bellamy." Clarke caught his attention.
Bellamy noticed how her mood changed so quickly, he moved next to her afraid something was wrong.
"What is it?" He asked worriedly.
"Bellamy...I-I'm pregnant." She finally got out.
Bellamy looked between her and her stomach, "I-I'm gonna be a dad?"
"Yeah."
Bellamy started grinning, "That's amazing!" He picked Clarke up and spun her around. Suddenly Clarke wasn't so scared at bringing another life into the bunker.
Three months later the first life was brought into the bunker. Emori and Murphy had a son. Roland Otan Murphy. Murphy kissed Emori's head as she held the healthy baby boy. Word traveled fast around the bunker. People congratulated the new parents everywhere they went. Everyone wanted a glimpse of the new life. Clarke and Bellamy were the only two trusted to hold the new baby. Their friend group grew closer as each day passed.
Six months later the second life was brought into the bunker. Ava Robin Blake. Bellamy never leaving Clarkes side. He sat on the bed with her as she slept. Her curled up into his side, her head laying on his shoulder. One arm wrapped around Clarke, the other holding his baby girl. He look down at the two girls he would always protect with his life. His everything. He placed a kiss on each of their heads, promising to always be there for them. His own little family.
By the end of the third year the babies weren't so babies anymore. Abby spoiled her grandchild nonstop. Clarke and Bellamy had to keep an eye on Abby or she would steal their daughter away. Even as babies Ava and Roland were quick friends, sharing the little things they had. Four more people they knew got engaged. Abby and Kane and Jackson and Miller. Their weddings set for a few months away.
Clarke walked into the room that they called their own. Emori and Murphy sat on the floor with Roland, Bellamy sat across from them with Ava in his arms. Bellamy made a face at the child, making her burst into a fit of laughter. The laughter filled the room, making Clarke smile wildly. Clarke leaned against the door frame, watching her small family. Her smile faulted as she tasted a metallic taste in her mouth. Clarke's eyes rolled in the back of her head as she fell to the ground. Bellamy was quick to move, handing the baby to Murphy and catching his wife before she hit the ground.
"Put her on her side." Murphy instructed, remembering his time at camp when everyone had gotten sick and when Finn seized after getting poisoned.
Bellamy put Clarke on her side as she shook rapidly. He was scared at what was happening. She was perfectly fine a few moments ago.
"Abby!" He yelled down the hall, "Abby!"
His yells echoed through the hallway. Everyone could hear. Abby's small figure popped in the doorway a few seconds later.
"Oh my god." She leaned down next to her daughter. "Clarke."
When Clarke stopped seizing Bellamy picked up her limp body and ran behind Abby to medical. He left Ava behind with Murphy and Emori, knowing that his daughter would be okay there.
"Put her on the table." Abby instructed.
Clarkes frail body was placed on the table.
"What's wrong with her?" Bellamy pushed Clarkes hair behind her ear.
"I don't know yet." Abby grabbed different instruments to test Clarke. "This might take a while." Abby warned.
Bellamy grabbed a chair, pulled it up to the bed and grabbed Clarkes hand, "I'm not going anywhere."
Abby sent him out of the room after some tests were ran. She said to him that there were tests that he had to leave for. He finally left to find his daughter. Bellamy eventually found his daughter with Murphy and Emori. Ava and Roland having been put in the same crib.
"How is she?" Emori asked as soon as Bellamy walked into the room.
Bellamy stood at the door separating where his friends stood and where the two babies slept, "Abby doesn't know what's wrong yet."
"I'm sorry Bellamy." Murphy said sincerely, "If you need us to watch Ava, we will be there."
"Thanks." Bellamy watched his sleeping daughter.
Bellamy couldn't sleep that night, too worried about Clarke. He waited outside the medical area with his head in his hands until Abby finally walked out.
He stood up immediately, "How is she?"
Abby looked as if she was about to cry, "Bellamy, you may want to sit down." He sat down in the chair and Abby took a seat next to him.
"We ran every test on Clarke and then ran them again." She informed Bellamy. "Has she been complaining about anything lately? Headaches? Soreness? Being tired? Anything at all?"
"You know how she is, she always bottles everything up and wouldn't admit if she was in pain." Bellamy watched her reaction.
"Bellamy," she placed her hand on his shoulder, "the tests show that Clarke has a brain tumor. It couldn't have been predicted, she never would have admitted to it."
Bellamy had tears in his eyes, "I should have known. I'm her husband, I should have known."
"There was no way anybody could have known." She comforted.
"How long?" Bellamy turned to face her.
Abby started crying, "Eight months maybe a year at the most."
Bellamy took in the information, "What can we do? We have to do something." Abby shook her head, "We don't have the materials to do anything. The tumor is inoperable. If we done surgery, it would kill her anyway."
Bellamy cried at her words, realizing they could do anything to help her. The girl who just wanted to help her people and now they couldn't help her. Bellamy pushed up from his seat and went into the room Clarke laid in. Clarke slowly opened her eyes at the sound of someone entering the room.
"Hey." She said weakly with a smile, "What happened?"
"You had a seizure." Bellamy said honestly.
Clarke saw his red eyes and the tears running down his face.
"How bad is it?" She asked.
"Eight months to a year." Bellamy sat on the bed and laid next to her, pulling her into his arms. Clarke curled up to his warm body.
"That soon, huh?" Bellamy could hear how scared she was in her voice. Bellamy laid there, holding her body close to him. Memorizing her features, taking in her scent, the way she smelled like the woods all the time even though they were underground. He stared into her ocean blue eyes, seeming to get lost in them. He played with her flowing blonde hair like it was the last time he would do so.
Clarke was placed in the bed for a week after her seizure. Bellamy visiting her all hours of the day. He was bringing her food to her when he noticed that everyone was on edge and didn't know what to do. Everyone was falling apart without Clarke. When he got to Clarkes room he pulled up her tray and gave her the food.
"It's chaos out there, people are going crazy without you in charge." Bellamy took a seat by her side.
"What's wrong with a little chaos?" Clarke grinned, "I'm just kidding. Chaos, bad."
He smiled at the love of his life. Clarke ate at the vegetable soup that was in front of her, not really wanting to eat a lot.
Clarke was given a wheelchair, so she wouldn't have to use her energy with walking. Bellamy pushed her through the halls as Clarke held Ava in her arms. It had been a few months and Bellamy had been cherishing every moment of it, knowing one day it would be his last. Abby had wanted to reschedule her wedding but Clarke forced her to continue saying that she wanted people to continue with their lives. Clarke sat in the front row, watching her mother get married, tears in her eyes. She watched her mother smile at the man she loves, Kane. She memorized this moment in her mind, not wanting to forget how happy her mother was in that moment. Wishing she could be this happy forever, but knew she wouldn't because her daughter would be dead in a few months time. After the wedding came the dancing. Clarke stood up from her wheelchair against the others protest.
She reached her hand out to Kane, "I believe this is the father-daughter dance." Kane smiled and grabbed her hand. The music slowed as they swayed to the beat.
"You should be resting." Kane whispered.
"I wouldn't miss this for the world. I ain't letting the tumor control my life." She whispered back.
Clarke looked past Kane and smiled at her mother.
"You'll take care of her for me, won't ya?" Clarke's voice cracked slightly.
"Of course I will." Kane hugged Clarke.
"Make sure she doesn't stay caught up on me for too long. I want her to be happy." Clarke teared up.
"Mind if I cut in?" Abby pushed her husband aside to dance with her daughter.
Kane nodded and joined the others.
The mother and daughter pair started dancing together.
"You know I remember the day when your father brought home music from the trading posts. You were so excited. You were so little then." Abby teared up, "You wrapped your little arms around my legs and stood on my feet. Your father laughed at us and picked you up in his arms, swirling you through the air, making you laugh like it was the greatest thing in the world."
"You'll be okay mom." Clarkes tears started falling, "Even after I am gone. You will have Kane and Bellamy and Ava. You will still have everyone and you will help each other. We will meet again one day, I know it."
Abby hugged her daughter and cried. The crowd around her watched the moment, already knowing what was happening. They were saying their goodbyes, so they wouldn't have to later. Bellamy stood with Ava in his arms, waiting for Clarke. The song ended, Abby went to Kane and Clarke headed for Bellamy. Miller stepped in front of her before she made it back.
He hugged her tightly, "Thank you."
"For what?" She asked him.
"For saving my ass more times than I can count. Thank you for everything Clarke."
She nodded, "May we meet again."
"May we meet again." He joined Jacksons side and intertwined their fingers. Before she could get back to Bellamy everyone in the room had made a line in front of her. All of them giving her some kind of goodbye or thanking her. Bellamy stood back in awe at the amount of lives that Clarke had impacted. Tears fell down Clarkes face as they all walked back to their rooms. She finally got back to Bellamy with puffy eyes.
She grabbed her daughter from his hands, "Hey baby girl." She held her close, "Mommy loves you my sweet girl." She placed a kiss on her head.
Bellamy pushed Clarke through the halls and back to their room. Clarke passed Ava back to him when he opened the door.
"I still have to talk to Emori and Murphy." Clarke told him.
"Will you be okay?" He asked.
"They are quite literally across from us." Clarke pointed to the opposite door. "I will be fine."
Clarke stood up from her chair and walked across the hall to her friends room. They opened up the door a second after she knocked and was brought inside.
"Quite a show you put on out there." Murphy commented.
"He's just sarcastic when he's upset and basically any other time, but this is because he's upset." Emori commented on his behavior.
"That's why we're friends." Clarke smiled. "I actually came to say goodbye, my time is getting closer."
Emori moved uncomfortably at the thought of losing her friend.
"John, I need you to promise me something. Promise me that if Bellamy loses his shit you will snap him out of it, through whatever means possible. Give him time to grieve and if he's not better by then-"
"An excuse to finally beat Bellamy's ass. Deal." Murphy replied.
Clarke slightly laughed, "Just take care of him, he's going to need someone until Octavia gets back down here.  Make sure he doesn't give up hope. And Emori, make sure he doesn't kill my daughter. He is a good father, he is just going to be lost for a little while. Make sure Ava grows up with Roland, she will need a friend."
The two got up and hugged Clarke.
"We will be here for them. They are family." Murphy promised.
Clarke nodded, "See you on the other side."
Clarke walked back to her room with silent tears falling. Bellamy sat on the couch waiting for her. She took a seat next to him.
"You shouldn't be saying goodbyes, not yet. We still have time." Bellamy turned towards her.
"Bellamy," She placed her hand on his face, "We are out of time. I can feel it. I can feel my life draining away."
Bellamy let a tear fall, "I cant lose you. We can't lose you."
Clarke wiped away the tear, "If life worked out I would stay with you. I would grow old with you, Bellamy Blake. I would watched my daughter grow and raise her to be a good woman. I would get to see her talk for the first time and take her first steps. I would be there when you taught her to shoot a gun for the first time. I would be there for everything, but life isn't fair. People die sometimes and it sucks, but the world keeps moving."
"But not my world, my world would be gone. You are my world, Clarke. You're my world."
It was Clarkes turn to cry now, "I cant be your world, you have Ava. She is going to need you. Octavia is going to need you when she comes down. Our people need you."
"No, they need you. You keep them centered, you keep them sane. They follow you. You can't just leave us-"
"Bellamy-" Clarke tried to stop him.
"It will be chaos when you're gone. You have to stay and watch Ava grow up. We are supposed to grow old together."
"Bellamy." Clarke turned his face to look at her. "It's going to be okay, Bellamy. You will get through this, because you are Bellamy Blake. You've gotten this far, you can't just give up now. You will be happy again one day. Just don't let me stop you from that. Find love again, be happy."
"But I've got you for that. You make me happy."
"I love you Bellamy Blake, just don't forget that."
"I love you Clarke Griffin, forever and always."
Two weeks later Clarke Griffin was admitted into the medical wing. Murphy, Emori, Bellamy, Ava, Kane and Abby were the only ones allowed inside. It didn't stop the others, just outside the doors everyone in the bunker was gathered. Clarkes breathing slowed and her skin paled.
"You will tell Ava about be when she's older, right? Tell her how much I loved her." Clarke stared down at the little girl.
"Of course." Abby started crying. She stood at her daughters side, pushing back her hair from her face.
Clarke motioned for Bellamy to lay by her side. He didn't hesitate. Abby took the baby from her arms and stood back, watching her daughter die.
"Thank you guys for being here. "Clarke told Murphy and Emori.
Murphy put his hand on her side, feeling her cold skin even between the covers, "Of course we would be here, you're family."
Clarke smiled and turned back to Bellamy. She nuzzled into his body for warmth, even though it was no help. He could feel her heart starting to slow under his touch. He placed a kiss on her forehead. She was dying and he couldn't help her. He could just hold her and hope it would help her. She shivered under his touch. He knew she was about to leave them and it killed him.
"In peace may you leave the shore." He began, causing Emori to cry into Murphy's chest, who held her just as tightly. Abby held Ava to her chest.. "In love may you find the next." Bellamy started crying as he heard the beeps of the monitor slow. "Safe passage on your travels until our final journey on the ground." Her eyes closed for the final time. "May we meet again." He sobbed.
Abby cried over her daughters body. Bellamy walked out of the room numbly, with his daughter in his arms and tears streaming down his face. The crowd outside having created a path for him to leave. The mood was somber, having lost one of their own. Having lost Clarke Griffin.
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This song is such a bop it’s called Head & Heart by Joel Corry & MNEK 😊😊 the dance beat is so good 😊😊 it’s my song of the day today 😊😊 #joelcorry #mnek #headandheart #edm #dance #pop #suchagoodsong #songoftheday https://www.instagram.com/p/CDWmz3vD_xY/?igshid=hg3q78sj3n2l
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knivesofglass · 7 years
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'Head and Heart' by John Martyn. One of my favourites of his and an absolute joy to play along to, especially when you know the lyrics completely sum up how you feel about someone! ❤ I also meet wayyy too many people who've never even heard of JM, so I'm more than happy to enlighten those who don't know! . . . . . #johnmartyn #headandheart #blesstheweather #folk #singersongwriter #ukfolk #folkrock #folkjazz #progressivefolk #acoustic #jamming #cover #acousticcover
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eclecticduality · 5 years
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Daily energies (3/6/2020): Good evening Honeybees! This is a time to really find a good balance between head and heart. Your head and your heart might have opposite opinions on how you should approach a situation and this can cause you to feel confused and conflicted. Too much of your heart can cause you to reopen past wounds, too much of your head could trap you in "What ifs?" Try to find the common threads that tie them together. You need both your head and your heart to get through this minefield unscathed. . . . #Twincuptarot #Honeybees #Tarot #Oracle #Advice #Guidance #Spirituality #Collectivereading #dailyreading #Headandheart #Soulties #Relaxation #Healing #Spaceclearing #Conflict #Balance #Water #Air https://www.instagram.com/p/B9avRoIJ4jt/?igshid=a2bq8bxyqwi4
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New York, NY-  June 2017
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garnett-2000 · 4 years
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I've done it, looking dope @joelcorry @mnek #headandheart Why not visit joelcorry.com to ✏ you perfect heart..🧠&❤ Now available to stream & download on all music platforms..! (at Spotify) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDn0hcwlSpJ/?igshid=8w838nqto1jj
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unlockandrelease · 5 years
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Emotionally Driven
There have been times in my life where I have given myself a good “verbal spanking” over what I deemed my being “too emotional.” I have always been drawn toward the introvert side of things (and from my most recent Meyers-Briggs test, I am nearly 90% introvert!). So, I think at times I try to compensate by bottling things up, hence my thoughts came out via emotion.
I am not saying all my emotions are thoughts. Some were just plain emotions. A reaction to a situation. A reaction to not enough sleep. A reaction that was shielding and protecting me from the hurt in life.
This whole topic started stirring in me this morning on my way to work. After having a not so great day yesterday, finding myself discouraged and sharing those frustrations with God via prayer, I was in a very different place this morning emotionally. I felt content. I felt joyful. I felt at peace. Three very different emotions from yesterday.
I immediately began chastising myself for being such an emotional roller coaster and questioning that maybe what I felt yesterday or today was invalid. Right around that moment, I drove over a hill and was met with the most glorious sunrise. And I sensed God speaking directly to my soul with that sunrise.
“Who created your emotions? If people weren’t meant to have emotions, I wouldn’t have created you with them. Think back on your wedding a year ago. Think on the wonderful emotions you felt on that day and how a simple smell, sound, taste, touch or memory can bring all those wonderful emotions back again. Life was meant to be experienced.
And the best way to experience much of life is connected directly to your emotions. Yes, the feelings you felt and shared with Me yesterday were valid. Just as the peace and joy you are experiencing right now are valid. That is in part why I give you a brand-new day complete with My sunrise every 24 hours. To begin anew your emotions, discovering different ones or remembering old ones and by doing so, living each day fully.”
As one who has always been a bit down on being “overly emotional” this is just what my heart needed to hear. Now, I am a full supporter of not letting your heart decide and lead all things as Hollywood would encourage us to do. God gave us minds with the ability to do amazing things and help in our decision making. But when you entwine the heart and head together…that is a powerful combination.
Because one without the other…would be a very empty life indeed.
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