#heard it in elementary school and i was Mesmerized i could barely get up to go to my next class

[superstarfang]

I WANNA BE WITH YOU - serirei quick write

The office had been quiet for a bit, only the sounds of deep breathing, shuffling papers, and the click of a keyboard could be heard. Reigen sat in his office chair, his back folded like a shrimp as he tirelessly searched for new job openings. Meanwhile, Serizawa had been sitting at his little desk, looking over the assignments he had to do before his next exam came up. They were both bored out of their minds, to say the least. 

Desperate for anything besides silence, Reigen tries to spark up a conversation with his coworker, “So…wanna do something, Katsuya?” 

Serizawa's dark eyes peered over the papers and nervously responded, “I mean…sure. What do you have in mind, boss?” 

“I told you that you don't have to call me that. Just call me Reigen. And- I was considering playing Truth or Dare with you. We barely get to talk outside of the office, so it might be nice to get to know each other a bit more.” Reigen's hands were flailing around as he spoke and Serizawa watched them, mesmerized.

“Don't you think we know a lot about each other already?” Serizawa let out a polite chuckle. “But, I wouldn't mind playing.” 

“Great! Then let's get started. I'll go first.” Reigen displayed a cheeky grin as his swivel chair rolled across the floor to the front of Serizawa's desk. Serizawa returned the gesture with a friendly grin.

Reigen set his hands on the desk, folding them together as he began, “Truth or dare?” 

Serizawa sat in deep thought before answering, “Truth.” 

Of course, Reigen could be nice and ask questions about his past life as a student in high school. Perhaps talk about his ambitions in elementary school, or ask about his favorite food. But, he wanted to see a different kind of reaction from him. Flustered. It made Reigen's heart race, and he would give anything just to see him in a puddle of embarrassment.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” The question slipped through Reigen's lips and Serizawa noticed an obvious aura change. The once laid-back boss turned into…a desperate flirtatious man. But, Serizawa couldn't exactly pick up on the second part. 

His face was flushed a crimson red as he mumbled, “No…that's an embarrassing question Reigen.” 

“I don't believe so,” Reigen shrugged in response, “I want to get to know you as much as possible. It will improve our work relationship,  I promise.”

“If you say so…I believe it's my turn to ask. Truth or dare, Reigen?” Serizawa had been affected by such a personal question, and he began to fiddle his fingers in his lap. He could feel his face getting hot like a wildfire. 

Reigen chuckled and kicked his feet onto the desk, “Truth. Hit me with anything.” 

The position made Serizawa's heart skip a beat. His legs were tight in his ashy grey suit, and his jawline was defined as he leaned his head back. The pace of Serizawa's heart continued to get faster as he bit his lip, trying to bring himself back into reality. 

“Have…have you had a girlfriend?” Serizawa mumbled nervously. 

“What do you think?” Reigen proceeded to slip his jacket off his shoulders, and let it drag to the floor. “Sorry, I am getting a bit hot.” 

Reigen was aware of Serizawa's embarrassment and only wanted to feed into it more. Even the slight movements of Reigen could melt Serizawa into a pool. So, Reigen began to undo his tie a bit, letting his bare neck be exposed to his coworker.

Serizawa had begun to form sweat on his forehead, the mix of summer warmth seeping into the office and tension starting to make him hot under his clothes. 

“I think so…you're a very charming man Reigen. Any woman would want you.” Serizawa attempted to look away from Reigen, but Reigen tapped his heel on the desk, indicating for Serizawa to look back.

“Would you be surprised if I said that I haven't?” Reigen's grin spoke words as he stared into Serizawa's raven eyes. He looked like he was going to eat him alive. Serizawa nodded in response, his eyebrows curled with an expression of worry on his face. What was Reigen doing to him? This wasn't a normal thing to feel towards his boss. 

Reigen took his feet off the desk and scooted his chair closer to the desk, leaning himself forward which made Serizawa squirm in his seat. 

“My turn. Truth or dare?” Reigen rested his head onto his palms, continuing to stare into Serizawa's eyes. Serizawa didn't want another embarrassing question. So, he responded with a dare.

Reigen sat in thought for a moment, trying to brew up the perfect dare to embarrass Serizawa before he responded, “I dare you to tell me how you truly feel about me.”

Serizawa's eyebrows raised in confusion before he started to think. His mind became a deep sea, the moments of him and his boss crashing like waves against the sandy shores of his heart. The soft palms of Reigen ran along his neck while he was giving him his haircut, making the hairs on his arms stick up like thorns. Their fingers accidentally touch when walking on the street together, then arriving at the bar where Reigen would tease him mercilessly while he was tipsy. Serizawa would have to end up carrying him home, and he could feel the heavy breaths of his boss slip into his ear and it made him feel something he had never felt before. Reigen’s chest pressed up against Serizawa’s back awoken a fire that had kept growing larger since the first time that he saw Reigen. That fire was admiration for his boss. It would set his whole body ablaze and make his cheeks warm to the touch. At times Reigen thought he was having a fever, and would set the back of his hand onto Serizawa’s head, and then glide it down like ice to his cheeks, and hold it gently.  He couldn’t deny it any longer. This feeling he had been feeling this whole time was…love.

“Serizawa?” Reigen snapped Serizawa back into reality, and as he looked into his boss's eye, he wanted to pull him closer. He wanted to shut him up with his lips- what embarrassing thoughts.

“I see you as…” Serizawa bolted his eyes around the room, panic beginning to rush over him. He didn’t want to lie to Reigen, as he was his boss and he looked up to him a lot. But, if Reigen doesn’t feel the same and he told him… he doesn’t want to know what would happen next. 

Serizawa looked at Reigen’s desk and saw the mug that said, “#1 Boss” as he muttered, “A great boss.” 

Reigen rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, slamming his head into his palm. Although it may have just seemed like he got friend-zoned, Reigen knew that he was lying to his face. If he just saw him as “a great boss” then he wouldn’t struggle so much to find the words. He wouldn’t have been acting like a fool every time he saw him. The list could go on forever. 

“Whatever,” he playfully scoffed, “it’s your turn.”

Serizawa let out a sigh of relief as he asked Reigen, and to Serizawa’s surprise, he replied dare. Shoot- Serizawa didn’t have anything planned for this. He was going to ask Reigen how he felt about him- and now his plan was ruined. So he sat in thought for a few minutes before Reigen chimed in. 

“Come on! There has to be something that you want me to do. Anything.” 

Serizawa gulped and muttered without thinking, “I dare you to kiss me.” 

Reigen couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping and the pace of his heart spiked. He couldn’t believe he said it. And, now that he had said it, he felt like he was melting away like lava below. He was so used to being the more “dominant” one that when Serizawa does it- he doesn’t know what to do. 

“Serizawa, that’s very blunt. But, I wouldn’t mind it.” Reigen’s face had become the same shade as a tomato while his palms became sticky. His mind was filled with thoughts he couldn’t even comprehend right now. 

Serizawa noticed the change in aura within Reigen and something inside of him snapped. Serizawa finally had the upper hand, and he wanted more of it. He wanted to see Reigen lose his cool over him. He wanted to see the frenzied look on his face once more. 

Serizawa rose from his chair and Reigen’s eyes followed him. Reigen had suddenly felt so small compared to the beast upon him. Serizawa’s fingers ran along the desk before they pointed at Reigen. His fingertips seemed to glow violet as Reigen felt a sudden force come upon him. The blond rose from his chair and he almost landed face-first on the desk before his hands caught him. Serizawa’s grin sent chills down Reigen’s spine like a frosty, winter night. The now confident coworker let his hand wrap around Reigen’s tie like vines and he tugged gently on it, bringing the two closer together than ever before. 

Their faces were inches apart, and Reigen could feel Serizawa’s hot breath run down his neck like vapor, which continued to make his face even hotter. Serizawa decided to let his hands slide up from the desk to Reigen’s chest and neck, and then finally his cheek. Reigen’s brain still couldn’t even process what was happening, but lord knows he has wanted this for so long. Too bad he couldn’t say it out loud. 

“Do you want this?” Serizawa’s tone was now compassionate, which set Reigen at ease. Reigen nodded before verbally consenting. Serizawa leaned in, and their lips finally parted into a kiss. The world seemed to stop for a minute, as the two sat there. All care they could have had about their job, their past, or their future slipped away into the abyss as the two finally became one. 

But then- the door hinges whined from a distance, which sent a wave of panic through both of them. WHAT WAS THAT!?

Reigen fell into his chair below him, his face still red as could be, and in a daze, as he saw a familiar face pop through the door. Mob. 

“Hello master- uhm…” Mob surveyed his surroundings as he began to talk. Serizawa was…smiling? And Reigen looked helpless in his chair. Perhaps Reigen had gotten sick while he was away? Allergies were spreading around because of the changes in seasons. 

“Hello Mob, Reigen was catching a fever due to the allergies, and I thought I would try and help him. You know how he is…” Serizawa quickly made an excuse, a cheeky grin on his face.

Mob nodded, totally oblivious to the situation, “Oh, alright. I was just popping in because I left my  jacket here yesterday. Sorry to bother you.” 

“No worries. You’re hanging out with Hanazawa today, correct?” Serizawa attempted small talk while Reigen still had his jaw dropped, his eyes darting back and forth between Serizawa and Mob. What was going on? Could Mob really not notice anything? 

Mob nodded and grabbed the jacket before putting it on. He waved goodbye, and the two noticed something before he closed the door. The jacket had an embroidered T on the back of it. They both looked at each other in confusion, before shrugging it off. Then, Serizawa looked at Reigen, his eyes filled with passion and love. 

“So, would you like to continue, boss?”  ---END---

[lovingbradshawafterdark]

Devil on Deathwood Drive Chapter 0 - I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire

Bradley Bradshaw x Jake seresin x Fem!reader

Summary: The start of the 50s is a very turbulent time, and you’re trying to live life how you want to; the peaceful postwar life you want is soon flipped on its head. Meanwhile, in the 80s, Jake tries to find his place when he runs into Bradley Bradshaw. 

Warnings: mentions of not-so-great expectations because of the 50s and vague mentions of torture and death, but they are there. Light sexual themes and mentions of sex within this chapter that will become more explicit as the series progresses. This is going to be an 80s sci-fi horror au, I promise. 18+ minors DNI

A/n: big thank you to @desert-fern, and @sarahsmi13s for helping me with this project, plus for funsies tags @sebsxphia and @lovelybucky1 also @lewmagoo because I did and oopsie and posted this to the wrong blog. Let's get into it! also, please tell me your thoughts on this series 

Series masterlist | Next part

New Mexico May 1950

A strange sense of peace, yet a sense of fear, had swept through. Five years since the war ended, yet there was a slight unease. You remembered your daddy serving during it all; he missed a lot of your growing up, missing several birthdays. He barely even recognized him, and he barely recognized you. His service during the war had hardened him. All the fear you tried to shove back down in you, there would be peace even if you had to force yourself to believe so. A hidden sense of fear lurked in every household, families waiting for the call to arms to return, for sons and husbands to be snatched once more. But it didn’t come. Being forced to grow up early made you want some time to figure out what you wanted, but the overwhelming pressure to find someone to marry, settle down, and have kids. It was all so much to take that many had turned their head away from you.

You laughed as you were handed another beer, not that you were drinking anything but playing along. They were the only people who wouldn’t pick on or bully you.  Everyone was seemingly making out or just drinking or getting high. You were a wallflower, seemingly at this small bond fire. People only handed you things, ignoring your existence. You jumped as Billy elbowed you, “Hey, what was that for!”

Billy had been your best friend since elementary school, he was always getting into trouble, and you were always getting him out of it. His brother was drafted but never made it home, leaving poor Billy to pick up the pieces his older brother left behind. When your mother had heard what happened to John, she could only tell you she was glad she had no sons. You could barely remember half of the boys who never made it home. Most were specks in your memory now.

“Can’t have you be a space case,” he teased before grabbing you by the arm, “c’mon, I found something” You giggled as he pulled you away from everyone, running up the slight hill. That’s when you saw a small glowing object buried in the ground. You stared in awe as Billy approached it, not phased by the strange aura you felt.  

“Are you sure this is safe?” A sudden uneasiness filled your body as the strange thing began to glow even brighter.

“Relax, I touched it earlier, and it did nothing. Just come down here” You sheepishly nodded at Billy before slowly descending the hill. The uneasiness only worsened the closer you got. Billy smiled as you looked down at it, mesmerized as it began to pulse, “Pretty, ain’t it?”

“Yeah,” you don’t know what came over you. What was once a feeling of uncertainty became your head feeling funny. You watched as it went from blue to a deep red. You bent down and looked at it even closer, forgetting about Billy being next to you.

“Sunburst?” Billy asked as he saw you go to touch it. The ground beneath you felt very warm. The pad of your thumb touched it, and you immediately flinched at the sudden burning sensation. Billy pulled you away as your whole body started to burn up. It felt like you were on fire as you began to scream. You saw the horrified look in Billy’s eyes, both of you surrounded by a blazing fire. You reached your hand out towards his face, and the last thing you heard was his screams and those at the bonfire beyond the hill.

***

You screamed and cried, tears burning across your cheeks as the men carried you towards a car. A tall, slender blonde man stood next to it. Burns covered your body now. Your eyes are bleary as you are pushed closer to him. His green eyes make your stomach churn. The whole town had turned against you, Billy nowhere in sight. However, the charred remains of the others at the bonfire were still littering the side of the road. No one could identify or touch them as they were still hot.

“This girl?” The men behind you nodded and backed away slowly. Your hands were still cuffed, trying desperately to melt them. Your parents stood off to the sides, not daring to look you in the eyes.

“Can you get the devil out of her, doctor?” Your mother asked softly, and you looked at her with fear.

“Yes, but I’m afraid I can’t do it here. I’ll need to take her to my lab” The man clapped his hand together, and suddenly another pair of men came from behind him and approached you, “while she’s in my care, I will make sure she receives the best care possible.”

Two months later - Colorado (July)

You wailed as flames erupted from your hands, your body about giving out from malnutrition. You saw a woman taking notes, glancing up every once in and while.

“It seems your abilities activate based on anger and desperation,” she mumbled, hair tied back in a perfect bun.  You were breathing heavily as the machine retracted itself from you, “however, I’m afraid I’m going to have to run more tests” She smiled. Something wicked, burn marks covered your hands, palms blackened and charred.

“Please, no, please, I can’t” Tears streamed down your cheeks, hot and warm, as you begged her to stop for today. She only caressed your cheek and wiped your tears away. Your eyes panicked as you felt the machine turn back on as sharp electric shocks ran throughout your body, the hope of escape slowly fleeting.

Five months later - Colorado (January)

Your cell was cold as you lay there. You hadn’t moved in days. You are freezing despite the unconscious attempt your body made to heat you. There was no escape, no cure, only physical pain and mental distress. You slowly sat up, body covered in faded burns. You heard someone walking, heels clicking with each step. You prepared for the worst, waiting for the yelling and other punishments. However, you heard something slide under your cell, hitting your feet.  You looked up, and a shadowy figure stood before you, face hidden.

“Think it’s about time we get you out of here…sunburst.”

July 1985

Bradley never invited strangers into his van, let alone would have slept with one of them. The blonde who lay before him, Jake, was still coming down. Jake was new to this traveling deal and was new to being a nomad.  

“Alright, gotta get going,” Bradley said, zipping himself back up; Jake still didn’t move. “You high or what?”

“Sorry” Jake stood up quickly, his frail slender body illuminated by moonlight. Jake started to dress himself, and Bradley had a lingering question.

“Where ya from again?” Jake froze, not being able to look Bradley in the eye. He knew he must have known.

“Texas…” Jake answered meekly, his gaze focused on the moon outside, cigarettes hanging out the back pocket of his jeans. There was no way Bradley didn’t know who he was or who his family was.

“You just look familiar” Bradley couldn’t place it, many people called him a bit slow with the times, but Jake had this look about him. A look Bradley couldn’t help but feel familiar with.

“People always say I got a familiar face” Jake still couldn't face him. Bradley eyed Jake’s backpack, and he could see the small rations of food.

“You don't have much…” Bradley whispered, his heart sinking.

Don't fall for the puppy eyes.

“Can I...stay with you for a bit?” Jake asked, finally looking at Bradley, eyes pleading. Bradley tried his hardest to say no, but…

“Sure,” Bradley caved…he never caved. He saw Jake’s eyes light up, and there was no going back now.

“Thanks, man! You won't regret it!”

July 1986

Bradley had grown to regret it only slightly. Jake had filled out more, way more buff, and way more…

“You're being too loud,” Bradley grunted as Jake had a premature climax. Jake only laughed as Bradley’s hips faltered, finally spilling inside the poor man. Jake pulled the hair from his sweaty forehead. “Also, when will you get that dirt off your face?”

“What dirt?”  Jake asked confusedly, tilting his head. Bradley smirked before licking his thumb.

“Right here!” Bradley rubbed his thumb along Jake’s peach fuzz—his attempt to grow a mustache was Bradley’s favorite way to tease him. Jake hissed as he pulled away from Bradley. Bradley grunted at the feeling as Jake folded his arms.

“Not funny…” Jake huffed. It hadn't taken Bradley long to figure out who Jake was or who he belonged to. Bradley cleaned himself off as Jake sulked. His temper knew no bounds.

“Pretty funny to me, now come on, we gotta get back on the road,” Bradley said as he opened the Vans door. Sunlight blinding him almost, Jake grumpily followed as they looked out at the view they had.

“We’ll hit the venue by the afternoon if we’re lucky…then we leave Colorado Quickly!” Jake said, pulling out the map. “We go down Deathwood Drive, and it's easy-”

“We aren't taking that road,” Bradley said with a glare, his mind flashing back. Jake frowned. He knew why.

“Listen, man, and it's just an old superstition-”

“We aren't going down, and that's final!” Bradley yelled as he put his foot on the gas, making Jake jolt forward.

“Okay! Fine! We don't have to go down it,” Jake sighed as Bradley slowed down, turning up the radio as Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin played. “God, this is so cheesy it makes me sick,” Jake groaned as Bradley chuckled.

“I find it quite romantic,” Bradley said, sticking his tongue out. Jake just turned his head away and leaned against the window. He would get Bradley down that road; something was calling out to him.

Likes are apperciated but Reblogs and likes mean the world!

[bokura-no-digital-world]

Ken Week 2023 - Day 3: Sports

Days: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] Title: Sporty Boy Characters: Ken Ichijouji, Daisuke Motomiya, Takeru Takaishi, Hikari Yagami and Yamato Ishida. Summary: How Ken got into soccer and grew tired of it later on, wanting to try new sports.

Cross-posted on AO3 and FFN

Ken couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful soccer ball one of the students of his school was holding. He really wanted to play, but he was a new student and too shy to ask. So he simply sighed and went to his locker.

The following days weren’t that different, until one day Ken was intently watching the soccer team from Tamachi Elementary School practice for a competition among classes. He was so lost observing them that he didn’t even see the coach stopping beside him. “Too mesmerizing, huh?” It was only then that the boy returned to his senses. He blushed rather heavily and avoided eye contact with him. “Most of the boys out there had this exact same reaction.” He placed his hand on Ken’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Why don’t you try to get into the team? You might earn a spot.” “I don’t know.” The boy replied in such a low tone the coach could barely hear it. “I’d probably suck at it anyway.” “Who knows? Maybe you won’t be as bad as you think. Come on.” The coach encouraged him to go for it. The seven-year old boy was convinced. It would be just a test anyway. He shook his head and followed the man towards the field.

He effortlessly earned a spot in the team and quickly became one of the stars of the team. That lead to him being one of the most popular students at Tamachi Elementary School, though it made him uncomfortable cause he never meant to be popular in school.

****

Three years later and he was still the main player of the soccer team. But not only he was a star on it, he also excelled in all school subjects and other sports. In other words, he was one of a kind. All the attention he received deep down meant nothing to him, as he thought everyone else was in a lower level than him. He didn’t know exactly when it started, but it felt good. He was a genius without having to study or work hard. It was perfect.

However, he could notice his soccer team mates went quiet as soon as he walked into the field to start practicing and couldn’t stop looking at him. Ken realized right away they were afraid of him and a smile appeared on his lips. That meant he was respected among them. He’d often be one of the first boys to be picked for a team, when he was not the one to form his own.

He became a quieter and more closed-off person since Osamu died, but it had gotten worse since he began to go to the Digital World more often and his digivice turned black. He didn’t mind the color at all; in fact he loved black. The Digital World became his escape place and it was only a matter of weeks – maybe days – for him to think the Digimon were characters of a video game and started torturing them and turned them into slaves. Wormmon would often tell him to stop and Ken always yelled at him for that, when he didn’t whip him. He couldn’t believe out of all Digimon, he ended up with the worst one as his partner. Nothing or anyone was going to stand on his way and ruin his plans to conquer the Digital World.

****

Ken was sure he was shaking more by each step he took, so he purposely let himself walk behind Daisuke. The last thing he wanted was for his best friend to feel bad for him; he was feeling it for both of them already. “Here we are.” The goggle boy turned to him with a grin, which quickly faded away when he looked at his friend. “What’s wrong?” “I think this is a bad idea.” “What are you talking about, Ken?” Daisuke couldn’t believe what he had heard. “You were doing so good when it was just the two of us.” “Yeah… but it was just the two of us.” The blue haired boy looked away. A month had gone by since BelialVamdemon was defeated and the Digital World saved once again. Ken wasn’t sure if he actually enjoyed playing soccer or it was something he was led to believe when he was brainwashed by Archnemon and Oikawa. He wasn’t going to say anything to anyone, but he should have known Daisuke would notice something was off and push him to say it. Then he got out of his way to help his DNA digievolution partner to find the sparkle that were in his eyes whenever he played soccer. He didn’t doubt for a second it was gone; it was just hidden. “I don’t think I can do this.” “Come on.” Daisuke touched his shoulder. “I believe you. We can even be on the same team, if that makes you feel better. I’ll talk to the boys, I’m sure they will understand the situation.” “Daisuke.” “I have no doubt you can do this. It’s clear to me how much you love soccer. It’s not something that happened only because you were the Kaiser. You started playing before that.” “That’s true, but the dark seed was already in my body.” Suddenly Daisuke grabbed him by the hand and dragged him towards the field. “Come on.”

Ken went to his bag to put his soccer ball away after the match. There was a large grin on his face as he realized things weren’t as bad as he thought they would. It didn’t take long for Daisuke and his usual cheerfulness to join him. “That was a good match.” “It really was.” The blue haired boy sat down and took a long sip of his water. “We make a hell of a good duo, don’t you think?” “Absolutely!” Daisuke said excitedly. “No one can stop us.” Ken couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s right. Thanks for believing me and pushing me to go for it. If I wasn’t for you, I’d probably have turned around and gone home.” “See, that’s why you needed me to be with you today. You didn’t turn around and actually had a lot of fun.” “True that.” He nodded. “It’s all thanks to you.” “Now you believe you actually love it and it’s not just something you did because of the Kaiser?” “I do.” He stood up and put his bag over his shoulder. “I will definitely play again.” “That’s the spirit!” Daisuke put his arm over his shoulders and they walked away. “By the way, do you want to sleep over tonight?” “Won’t your parents mind it?” “Absolutely not! They love you.” “In that case, let’s go.”

****

“You’re so talented at it, you make it seem so easy. It comes so naturally to you.” “All these years of practicing must count for something.” Takeru said when he landed on the floor after jumping to throw the ball into the basket. “It’s not difficult though.” “You’re joking, right?” Ken asked shocked as he watched his friend walk to the ball and picking it up. “Not completely though.” The blonde threw the ball at him. “The concept for basketball is pretty simple.” “I know, but I just can’t get it into the basket.” The boy looked at it and then to the basket across him. “I guess I’m just not tall enough for this game.” “There are short people playing basketball. In fact, there are short players on NBA.” “Really? I thought there was a minimum height or something.” “No.” Takeru couldn’t help but laugh. “There’s no such thing. Everyone is welcome to play, no matter how tall or short. I’m curious about something though.” “What is it?” “Why did you decide to learn to play basketball?” “Oh, I wanted to try a different sport, I suppose. Soccer can get pretty boring after a while.” “How long have you been playing it?” “For about seven years, maybe.” “That’s half of your life.” “Exactly. Hence why it got bored. Not to mention that’s all Daisuke wants to play and he drags me along every single time.” Takeru laughed again. “So typical of Daisuke to do this.” “Tell me about it. You were lucky you already knew him and chose a different sport.” “Yeah, I didn’t want to take my chances.” “On a serious note, why did you choose basketball?” “Honestly, everything happened so fast I barely had time to process. I was playing alone one day while I waited for my brother to finish practicing with his band. The basketball coach had walked in to get something and saw me playing. He thought I was very talented and thought I should try to make it to the team. And I didn’t have a club yet, so… here I am.” “That’s a great story. Do you want to pursue it professionally?” “No.” Takeru shook his head. “I want to be a writer.” “Really? That’s so cool! A novel writer?” “Maybe in the future. There’s just thing I’m planning, but it’s a secret.” “Got it. “I’m sorry.” “That’s alright.” Takeru stood up and started bouncing the ball. “So do you still wanna play or what?” “Alright.” Ken followed him suit and got in a defense position. “You should know I’m not taking it easy on you because you’re learning.” “I wasn’t expecting you to.” He replied in the same playful tone, but failed to keep his friend from scoring a two-point ball. “See, this is why I shouldn’t play basketball.” “Don’t say that, it’s only your first time playing. You’ll get better at it within time.” “Sure, if you don’t mind wasting years with that.” “Come on.” Takeru threw the ball at him. “It’s your time to score.” “Okay, here I go.”

****

“Isn’t it too slippery?” Hikari asked unsure as she watched the skating rink in front of her. “It seems to be polished.” “I’m sure it’s fine.” Ken walked into the rink first and almost fell down. Normally she would have laughed about it, but that only made her more terrified. “I’m so not getting in there.” “Come on, Hikari, it’s not that bad at all.” He approached her and leaned over the rail that separated both sides. “See? I can already stand up.” “Who guarantees you won’t fall down again? You’re holding onto this rail.” “See?” He released his hands from it and skated backwards, holding his hands in front of his chest with their palms facing her. “Can you tell him to stop trying to give me a heart attack?” Hikari begged Takeru when he stopped beside her to put on his own rollerblades. “I could, but I actually agree with him.” He replied with a smirk and quickly stood up. It didn’t take him long to be seemingly floating on the rink. “Come on!” “You two and your habit of wanting to try out every sport out there.” Hikari pretended to be annoyed, but laughed. “You’re lucky Taichi isn’t here.” The blonde said. “It would be way worse.” “Ugh, don’t remind me.” She walked to the gate that led to the rink. “Okay, here I go.” As she started to skate carefully around the rink, she thought it wasn’t as hard as she thought. That was, until Ken scared her from behind. “What the hell were you doing?” She shouted when she turned around after she screamed so loud everyone else looked at them. “Don’t ever do that again!” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, immediately holding her hand. “We could have just gone bowling instead, but no one listened to me.” “Skating is so much more fun though.” “When you know how to.” “It’s not a problem at all. We can teach you.” “Okay, I guess.” “I gotta say this place is really cool, Ken.” Takeru joined them after skating around the rink for a while. “I love this disco vibe… the neon colors and the music are amazing. I didn’t know you liked these kind of things.” “Not exactly. I mean, it’s a cool place, but the music isn’t exactly my type. I figured you’d enjoy it.” “I have to admit it’s really a nice place.” Hikari stated. “Okay, there’s something I need to say.” “What is it?” “I actually know how to skate.” “What?” Ken asked shocked. “So was this all acting?” “Yeah, I’m sorry. I wanted to know if you’d be a good teacher.” “You knew about this?” Ken turned to Takeru. “She’s one of the best ones I’ve seen. She bribed me not to tell you, by the way.” “What the hell?” She jokingly punched him in the arm. “You said you weren’t going to say it!” “I’m sorry, it slipped.” “Well…” She skated away from them and then turned around, stretching her arms and smiling. “Who’s up for a small competition?”

****

The sun was starting to raise and it was a little after 6 a.m. that Tuesday morning. Most people were getting up at that time, and some were already out. That was Ken’s case. He had recently started jogging very early in the morning, as part of his preparation to be a detective. Being agile wasn’t a requirement for the job, but he thought it would be better to be safe than sorry. He’d usually do it on his own, but that day he had run into one of his fellow Chosen Children. “Yamato?” He called his name when he was near enough. “I didn’t know you were into jogging.” “Ken, hi.” Yamato looked over his shoulder when he got near. “Yeah, astronauts have to be in really good shape, so… I thought this would go well with gym and everything.” “I see.” “What about you, though? It will sound ironic, but isn’t it too early for you to be out here running?” “It does sound ironic.” Ken couldn’t help but laugh. “My reasons are pretty much the same as yours. I mean, it’s not something obliged for us, but I thought it’d come in handy. Besides, turns out I actually enjoyed running so early in the morning and watching the sunrise, or sort of.” “I know what you mean. Hikari didn’t want to come with you?” “I actually didn’t invite her. She’s so busy with college and all, I didn’t want to bother her with this.” “That’s sweet of you, but I’m sure she’d love to join you.” “I know she would. I’m just not brave enough to invite her because of what I’ve just said.” Ken took a deep breath and drank some of his water. “What about Sora though? I heard she likes seeing the sunrise sometimes.” “Yes, she does.” Yamato smiled. “Sometimes she comes with me, but today she wasn’t able to. She has a fashion show coming soon and wants to get everything started soon, in case something happens in the meantime and there’s time enough to fix it.” “It’s good to be safe.” “That’s true.” He also drank a sip of his water. “So I just thought of something.” “What is it?” “I think today wasn’t a coincidence. I think we were meant to run into each other, so I was thinking if you’d like to go jogging with me.” “What? Are you serious?” “Absolutely! It’s much better than jogging alone. Besides, we’d keep each other company and that would allow us to get close. But if you don’t want to, it’s perfectly fine.” “No, no, I’d love to. I mean, if you don’t mind getting bored with me.” “I think it won’t happen at all. I can’t wait for it actually, I think we have a lot in common.” “Really?” “Oh yes. More than you think.” “Alright then. I’m looking forward to it already.” “You know, we can start right now if you want to.” “Let’s go for it then. You should know, I’m very fast. I need to be home by 7 to get ready for college and see Hikari before I leave.” “Sure. I can’t stay much longer as well. Sora will be upset if I don’t take her obentou to college. So let’s go.” Yamato took off, closely followed by Ken.

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 1-5

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 15k

chapter 1

It took Y/N longer than she had hoped to finally catch up to him. He seemed to go from the cute little boy with a bow tie who sat beside her in her kindergarten class to working for the FBI by the time she graduated high school. It wasn’t fair that he happened to be smarter than anyone on earth, causing him to test out of elementary school before she even got to know him.

Spencer Reid had an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the sweetest personality to match. Y/N saw him around as he grew up, coming home to see his mom often and minding his business as he wandered around in his free time.

He liked to sit on the swings at the abandoned park across the street from her house, it was a place he would go to at the most random hours of the day for years on end. Every time he was in the area, he visited the swing. And She’d watch him from her window seat in her bedroom. Pretending to read, but really she was watching him read.

It was years of watching, from the ages of 13 to 18 when he was coming back and forth from working on his second Ph.D., and she was still trying to make it through high school.

But she never walked out there and talked to him, she knew nothing real about him other than his name and that he was smart. The town told rumours about him being an alien or a government experiment because there was no way a kid could be so smart, but she never believed them. She liked to keep to the idea that he was sweet, smart, and special.

He stopped coming to the swing for a while after they turned 18, her mother had said something about Spencer Reid’s mother being admitted to the nursing home she worked at and y/n drew the conclusion that he’d finally left the small Nevada town she was seemingly trapped in.

Y/N kept tabs with him online, as weird as it felt to her she had a strange sense of pride when it came to Spencer’s achievements. That was the kid she sat beside in kindergarten out there working for the FBI, saving lives and changing the world. It inspired her.

So sure enough, when she moved to Virginia to join the FBI academy it was the perfect opportunity to finally be on an even playing field with him. An excuse to reach out to him and catch up, get to know him. She was technically older than him, by 10 months, and yet somehow he seemed to feel unreachable, wiser and more of an adult than she ever would be.

At 28 she finally bumps into him again. She’s carrying boxes into her new apartment with help from a moving company when he leaves the apartment across the hall from her.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer Reid?” she said with the biggest smile spreading across her face.

“Hi?” he says, not having any clue who she is.

“You might not remember me, I’m Y/N Y/L/N we were in kindergarten together in Nevada?”

He takes a moment to think, she watches his eyes flutter as he recalls the memory to his mind. She is mesmerized by how his brain works, like a filing cabinet he can just pull memories out. “Oh, yes we sat together the first day and you got in trouble later that afternoon for adding water to the sand because I had said it was too dry to build a model of the Pyramid of Giza.”

Her smile gets even bigger, “yes! I hope this isn’t weird but I’ve kept up with you over the years, I’ve always thought it was so amazing that someone from my town was off doing incredible things! I can’t believe I’m moving in across from you that makes it look so much worse oh god, I promise I’m not stalking you!” She rambled anxiously.

He laughed, “it’s okay I believe you! I’m surprised honestly that you remember me, we were what? 5? That’s a good memory you must have?”

She walked over to him and out of the way of the men moving her boxes into her apartment, that’s what she was paying them for anyway. She set the box down on the floor beside herself to free her arms, “I think your first ever friend would leave an impact on your memory.”

“We did have a good bond before I was transferred out,” he recalls with a smile.

“Well,” she smiled right back, “I also work with the FBI if you want to get coffee before work on Monday and catch up? See if there’s a possibility of being friends once again?”

“Yeah!” he answers abruptly, “I leave around 7:15 normally and I always go to the little cafe down the road, what department are you in?”

“VICAP,” she said, “just a floor above the BAU, surprised I’m only running into you now”

“You sure you’re not stalking me?” he joked.

She shook her head lightly, her cheeks hurting from smiling so hard. “Promise, just inspired by you, that’s all.”

He chuckled to himself, almost shocked that such a lovely person would be inspired by him. “Well, thank you. I’ll let you get back to moving in and I will see you on Monday Y/N.” he said with a small wave and walked down the corridor.

She sighed to herself, this was going to be amazing.

---

Y/N had barely unpacked anything by the time Monday had rolled around. She spent most of her time working on her bedroom organization, leaving a mess of boxes everywhere else. Going through her closet to find the best outfit for her first-morning commute with Spencer.

Her job didn’t require as much fieldwork as he did, so she could wear anything she wanted to the office as long as it was professional. She settled on black flared dress pants, a nice white turtleneck, the watch her family gave her when she graduated from the academy and her cute healed wedge boots.

She grabbed her purse and wallet, ensuring she had her keys and badge in there before unlocking her safe and clipping her gun to her belt. She grabbed her go bag and coat and draped them over one arm, holding her purse in the other.

With everything she needed, she walked to her front door, turning off her alarm just to change the setting to protect her empty apartment. She closed and locked the door behind herself just as Spencer walked out into the hallway.

“Good morning Spencer,” she said, cheerful as ever.

“You’re awfully cheerful for this time of day,” he yawned after speaking.

“Late night?” she asked, joining him as he walked towards the building entrance.

“We had an emergency case this weekend that kicked my ass, I’ve only been home for 15 hours. Hopefully, today is just a desk day,” he yawned again. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired as well, from moving this weekend.”

“Oh I’m exhausted, normally I don’t leave till quarter to 8, living farther away now is going to suck a bit.”

“At least our building is nice,” he adds.

“It seems wonderful so far.” He held the door for her as they walked into the parking lot, he dug her keys from her bag, “do you want to take my car?”

“Sure, seeing as I don’t have a car, I normally take the subway,” he said softly, walking to the passenger side and opening the door as he heard the door unlock.

“Well if you want a ride every morning I don’t mind, even If you need rides to emergency cases,” she smiled softly.

Spencer insisted on buying her coffee, saying it was only fair for driving him. But really it was because he wanted to spoil her, ever since she said she was inspired by him his mind hasn’t been able to stop playing that sentence on loop. He’s completely enamoured by her, willing to do whatever it takes to get on her good graces. Not realizing she’s willing to do the same for him.

In no time she’s pulling up to the main building, both of them showing their badges before being allowed access into the parking structure of their building. Y/N parked close to the main elevator, having impeccable luck with getting that spot in the garage.

“We still have time before we’re officially on the clock, if you wanted to come meet my team?” He offered, hitting the button in the elevator for floor 3. His floor.

“I’d love to meet the legend that is Penelope Garcia,” she smiled.

“She is wonderful,” he agreed with a smile.

The elevator dinged and she felt her heart drop into her stomach thinking of how Spencer was going to introduce her. He walked with her towards the glass doors, holding them open for her as she walked into the bullpen.

All eyes were suddenly on Spencer and Y/N, so many faces she’s never seen before, and 2 she knows too well from her research on the BAU. She smiled lightly as she walked towards them all. Spencer not far behind her.

“Good morning,” Spencer smiled a small pressed-lipped smile. “This is agent Y/N Y/L/N, she works up in VICAP, she was one of my best friends in elementary school.”

She smiled, so that’s how. “Hello!” She waved, “It’s so nice to meet you all,”

“Derek Morgan,” the tall dark and handsome one reached his hand out for yours.

“Oh, I don’t shake hands sorry,” she said, grabbing her right middle finger with her left hand and smiling lightly.

He laughed, “wow pretty boy, how come you never told us you have a twin?”

“Do you not shake hands either?” She asked him, “we really do have a lot of catching up to do Spence.”

“Emily Prentiss, it’s lovely to see Spence bring in new friends.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve always admired the BAU, I’ve actually compiled a few of the cases you’ve worked on this year, I’m pretty good at finding patterns even the system overlooks.”

“Oh yes, Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve seen your name on all the emails, thank you you’ve sent some of the best-connected cases to us, you’ve brought justice to people who we would have never connected to cases,” JJ said enthusiastically, “I was actually just about to tell Hotch about the newest one you sent me.”

“It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve been carefully looking over this case for 2 years now I knew you’d all be able to help with it. It’s right up your ally,” she nervously laughed.

“You sent in the files on the family annihilator that was going after people he believed to be decedents of Cain from the bible right?” David Rossi asked.

She nodded her head and sighed, “yeah everyone told me it was a stretch to catch onto but when I noticed all the men were from the same online ancestry family tree I knew you guys needed to see it.”

“That was specifically interesting, the death of his own brother led him to seek revenge on the father of murder,” Spencer agreed.

“So what’s this new one you’ve brought us?” Derek asked.

“Oh, would you like to pitch it to us? We’re all here we can meet you in the briefing room before your shift starts upstairs?” JJ offered.

“Oh sure,” she smiled, finally it was her time to show off.

Soon enough, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia and Jenifer Jareau were all staring at you in the briefing room.

“In Wichita Kansas, there have been a string of murders over the last 6 years that have all been incredibly, creepily similar,” she started explaining as she handed out the case files to everyone.

“Each victim is female, 16 to 24, they’ve all been strangled with rope while completely naked, signs of brutal sexual assault, binding and torture. They’ve all been found wrapped in shower curtains and placed in various public locations. Clearly a sign of remorse with how he keeps them covered but still a taunt that we can’t find him even now that he’s 6 victims deep.”

“Clarise Richardson, victim number 1 was raped, strangled with rope and left by an underpass. She was found in 1998, the M.E said she was dead 16 hours when they found her, COD was asphyxiation. Her family reports she was last seen at least 73 hours before she was found. So he kept her for a while. There were fibres under her nails of green carpet, either she was held at someone's house or in a van with carpet like they had in the 70s and 80s.”

“Were there any fingerprints or DNA on the bodies?” Prentiss asked.

“Yes, there was a sperm sample retrieved on victim number 5, Sharon Flynn. Most likely he wore a condom for the rest of his rapes and he wasn’t in the system already. Either he never ejaculated in earlier rapes before he grew to murder or his victims never came forward before 1998.”

“which is highly likely, we saw in the EARs case in California how hard it was to get the men and women who were raped to even come forward. There were 4 confirmed cases in the news before more came forward with similar stories. It’s seen as a shameful thing when in reality it’s just giving them more power if they believe they’ll never be caught.” Spencer explained.

“Yes, it’s very hard to come forward when it happens to you,” she agreed before quickly hanging subject. “I’ve been searching for any rapes in the area with similar MO, choking, BDSM, ropes, vans with green carpet, and I’ve found 3 women who claimed to be raped by a man at festivals the late 70’s who had an orange van with green carpet who bonded them up in a very intricate form of bondage that tightened every time they squirmed to entice them not to move. And from my research, that's the same pattern of rope as the rope burn on the 6 bodies we have.”

“All 6 of them are fairly similar it’s just their dumpsites that sets them apart. He didn’t have one strict area that he stuck to, he seems to have no problem travelling to them.” Emily said, flipping through the files.

“I’m thinking he has a job the requires him to still use his van. Like a travelling plumber, a phone or computer tech, home surveillance or maybe even he’s with Jehovah's witness or the Mormon church. It would explain him being able to get into these women’s houses and neighbourhoods long enough to pick someone, learn their schedule and grab them.” Y/N explained.

“Garcia, can you look into those businesses, as well as independent contractors, satellite companies, mailmen, and anyone else who might have been on the job by the victim's houses on the dates and times they were last seen,” Hotch asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll also run the DNA samples in my other databases.”

“I was about to ask you to do that, I think he might have children. There is a very large gap between the rapes and the jump to rape and murder, if you could run the saliva sample from victim 3 that's on her neck with any foster system or genealogy company to see if he has a son or uncle we can trace his sample to?”

“That's a great idea, I’ve never thought to do that,” Garcia smiled. “I like you, you’re a smart cookie!”

“Looks like we’re headed to Wichita,” Hotch said. “Do you think VICAP would be mad if we stole you for a few days? You have more connections with the Wichita police than we do, they might cooperate more If they know a friendly face.”

“Absolutely, let me grab my go-bag from upstairs!” Y/N jumped up, “I’ll be right back down!”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, And with that, she was out the door.

“Reid if you don’t marry her I will,” Penelope said softly.

“Okay.” He blushed.

—

She took a seat beside Reid on the jet, the two of them chatting amongst themselves for a while before they were called for the second briefing.

“So local PD think they have a recent victim from this weekend they want us to check out,” Penelope said over video chat. “she’s a little different than the others. Katie Newton, 27 was found bound to her bed, already having passed and was being assaulted when her husband came home. He screamed at the guy who was only wearing a ski mask and “tight-y white-y’s” as the husband described. He grabbed his bag and clothes with him but he left her tied up with the little time he had to knock the husband out of the way and run out.”

“Did he get any other identification marks on the unsub?” Y/N asked.

“He said he was pasty white, 5’8 and he didn’t talk. He didn’t scream, nothing, he just grabbed his things and ran. He does however remember he had a very large brown birthmark on his chest covering the right nipple down to his stomach.”

“Okay that’s good to know, why do they think it’s our guy?” Rossi asked.

“Blood found on the rope she was tied up with can match back to 13 different women. 6 of the murders that Y/N brought to us, 1 of the rapes she found and 5 other break-in and rapes of other women in the area.”

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered to herself.

“Well done on finding this one Y/N, this one is going to be big.” Morgan complimented her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she smiled back, “I didn’t expect any of this when I connected the 6 of them originally. This is insane.”

“have you ever been in fieldwork like this?” Hotch asked.

“At the academy, I was combat trained, I have all my clearances and I’m a great shot. I’m good on my feet and I tested perfectly on hostage talk down.” She tried not to brag but this was almost as important as a job interview.

“Well damn,” Morgan nodded in approval. “We might just have to seal you full time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all!”

“Good,” hotch smiled, something he didn’t do often. “I’m going to send you and Reid to the M.E to see what else we can find out about these new break-in homicides. Prentiss and Rossi, I want you to travel to the last dumpsite and the latest crime scene to see what else could connect them. Morgan and JJ come with me to the station to set up communication with the local PD and media we don’t need them naming him like they did with BTK.”

“Garcia, would you also widen the search for anyone convicted of sexual misconduct, flashing, stalking, break-ins where underwear was stolen or and peeping toms? Go all the way back to the 70s. If any of them are now working for any businesses that have vans and require him to travel. This guy has to have a mistake somewhere that you will find.” Y/N asked one last time.

“Got it, genius girl, over and out.”

—-

The bureau had the funds for rooms for the main team, meaning Y/N had to double up with someone and she had to decide who once they landed and headed to the hotel.

“It wouldn’t be weird if we got a room with two queen beds right?” She asked Spencer, “it would give us a chance to catch up in our downtime like a sleepover we never had as kids.” She nervously rambled in the SUV as Reid drove.

“No I don’t mind, It would be fun if we get any sleep in this case. This one seems like it will be a bit of a brain rattler.” Reid agreed with a soft pressed-lipped smile.

They booked their rooms, dropped off their things and all headed their separate ways. The M.E’s office was close to the police station, the two of you in an SUV followed Hotch, JJ and Morgan in another down the road.

The bodies had all been cremated or buried shortly after being found, there wasn’t anything fresh enough to examine for them but they did have access to all the information on all the cases.

“I’ve been the medical examiner here for the last 30 years,” the nice old man said as he led them down the hall to the storage room. “These ones have all been some of the worst cases I’ve seen here. So much so that I keep them all in their own boxes just in case a day like today ever happens.”

“That is very helpful for us thank you so much!” She smiled at him as he held the storage door open.

“They’re all labelled by name and date. If you have any questions about tests or need me to run more with what we have left just give me a holler!” He said as he left the room.

Y/N sighed. “Why do I feel like this is going to take a million years?”

“I can read 20,000 words a minute, it will take me 3 hours to read everything in this room. Luckily we only need to read these few boxes.” Spencer pointed at the wall.

“Okay boy wonder, stop showing off,” she smiled, taking the Victim # 5 case box down first. “She was the first one I put into the system when I joined VICAP.”

“Is that why you sent this case to JJ?”

“Partly,” she sighed again. “There was the emotional attachment of this being my first case but there were just too many connections I knew you guys could bring justice to her family. She was so young.”

Spencer opened a box and she watched as his eyes darted across the pages as he flipped through them. She was mesmerized by how he could do that. But he was probably even smarter than god so it made sense.

“This is interesting. They found LSD in the system of the 3 rapes from back in the day which isn’t that uncommon for the time period or the places where they were abducted, but what’s strange is the amount. This is enough LSD to make someone go insane, no one in their right mind would willingly take this much LSD?” Spencer said.

“They were all found 2 days later dehydrated and alone in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way of knowing if more women didn’t have this happen and died where he left them.”

“He is probably in his 50’s now. How fit would he have to be to still be able to break into houses and rape and murder women?” Spencer asked.

“Well that might be just why he stopped dumping, he might have a bad back and can't lift the dead weight. He is more willing to get caught in someone's house so that he doesn’t have to do the dumping, he can just leave after. 5 of the 6 home invasions were with women who lived alone or husbands who worked night shifts. So they wouldn’t be home. He watched them long enough to know when he could successfully get away with this.” Y/N explained as she flipped through boxes.

“And the rope technique our last victim was found in is exactly the same as the rope burns as the others you’re correct,” Spencer complimented her. “He might have ex-girlfriends or even an ex-wife who he would have tried BDSM on and she didn’t like it, so now he feels like he has to do it this way. When we deliver the profile we should alarm the public about him to draw out any women who would have willingly tried something with our unsub.”

Y/N nodded as he spoke, agreeing with everything. “That could have even been the original stressor, all the women are pretty vanilla, I talked to the husbands over the phone and the original rape victims. They weren’t into trying anything like this in their free time. 2 of the rapes were also virgins. They all had good jobs and good grades, they were outstanding, low-risk members of the community. He might be getting revenge on the women who wouldn’t indulge in this fantasy.”

“He probably feels a lack of control in his personal life, maybe he even has a more dominating wife who he feels he can't stand up to so this is how he deals with it.” Spencer agreed.

“Let's go see Hotch, I think we should deliver the profile.”

—-

They walked into the police station, gliding through the doors like they owned the place. Emily and JJ watched as they walked over to hotch with the exact same energy. Both speaking with their hands and rambling about what they had found.

“So he’s a fit, early 50’s, white male. Married, probably with kids, works with or owns a van. He has a problem with authority in his own life, he feels like he is in a submissive role all day be it from a female boss who’s always on his ass or his wife. It’s possible he even has only daughters and no sons. He feels emasculated, surrounded by women, which is why he started taking these women originally to rape them with BDSM-like acts to finally have that control he lacks in his everyday life.” Y/N explained. “He wouldn’t be very handsome, he would have issues speaking with most women, he keeps to himself, he might have even failed out of jobs involving the police or security, he wants to be in a place of power but he has none of the social skills to accomplish what he wants. I would even look into local army cadets or boy scouts he could be a very old member or the father of someone in one of those groups. His affinity for binding them up and the types of ropes he used are very common BDSM ropes but the knots are reminiscent of ones my brothers would do in at Navy cadets.”

“You got all that from the M.E?” Derek said, shocked at how good she was at this.

“I’ve been staring at his work for 2 years, every time a case from this town came in I checked into it to tie it to this guy. I don’t know what it is but this one gets to me, like BTK or Ed Kemper, these men have specific vendettas against women, they need to dominate women because they have a strong mother or wife in their presence. I know the type of man he is and I want to see him rot in prison.”

Spencer walked over to another table, spreading out a map and beginning to look at the geographical profile. Making down the 3 rapes and their dumpsites, the 6 abducted women and their dumpsites as well as the 6 home invasion homicides. Narrowing down on the geographical profile to find his comfort zone.

Y/N stood beside him watching him draw perfect circles over the map, placing a dot right in the middle. “He either lives or works in this area. Everything is within 35 miles of this area.”

Hotch took out his phone and called Garcia, placing the phone on the table with the speaker on. “Hello my lovelies, what can I do for you?”

“Have you narrowed anything down?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I have 117 orange vans originally bought in the late ’70s that are still registered to men in this area all between the ages of 45 and 60. 63 of them work in home security, 13 of those have a son in boy scouts and 4 of those have prior peeping tom allegations.” She explained.

“Any of the 4 look interesting?” Hotch asked.

“We have Travis Johnson, 55 he works for Acorn Security, he was doing service in each town that a murder took place the same week they went missing. He is married and has been since 1980 right when he stopped raping and his 5th and last daughter was born the same week that Clarice Richardson was murdered in 1998. They took in a foster child to give him a boy 3 years ago who is in boy scouts, and has all his badges in you guessed it, knot tying.”

“Do we have his home and work address?” Morgan asked.

“Yes of course I do chocolate thunder, they’ve been sent to you already. I’ve also sent a list of his appointments for today, he might be on the hunt.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan smiled at the phone.

“It's what they pay me the big bucks for.”

She hung up and hotch immediately started handing out bullet-proof vests. “Time to catch him.”

Spencer rested a hand on your back as he passed you, smiling as if to say 'good job'.

Y/n grabbed her vest and her go-bag and quickly changed into something more suited for chasing after a runner. It almost always came to that in her experience. She came back out in jeans and a white long sleeve shirt tucked in, her vest on and her hair up. She placed her earpiece in and straightened out her gun. Making sure the clip was full and adding an extra one to her vest.

“Ready?” She asked Spencer as he tightened his vest.

“Let’s do this.”

They split up, Prentiss Rossi and JJ went to his house while Reid, Morgan, Hotch and Y/L/N took a squad of local cops to where the unsub was supposedly doing his house calls.

They slowly drove through the neighbourhoods, lights off just paroling up and down the streets. They saw an orange van parked on the side of the street, they watched as the unsub got out of the driver's seat, grabbing a bag and walking up to a woman’s house. Slowly they all got out of the SUV, Morgan and Hotch taking the back while Reid and Y/L/N took the front door. They waited for confirmation that he wasn’t alone in this home, before going in.

They could hear a woman talking and then there was a scream, “I’m going in,” Y/L/N said, Kicking the door down before Reid took the lead, Y/N following behind him.

“Travis Johnson? FBI!” Spencer yelled.

The two of them cleared the main room, working their way to the hallway, Reid let her take the lead to the bedroom where they heard the struggle.

“Travis put down the rope and let her go,” Y/N said slowly as he walked into the room, gun pointed.

“And why should I?” He panicked, holding the woman against his chest, she was crying gripping onto the rope he was holding tightly around her throat.

“I’m a huge fan of your work!” Y/N said. “I work for VICAP, I’m the one who had to put each and every single one of your victims in the system. I know exactly how much you’re into control and BDSM, it’s honestly surprising that you have to force these women into it, why are women so against letting a big strong man control them anymore?” She said softly as she lowered the gun and her voice.

“You know, I’ve always thought BDSM was super sexy, I’d love to be tied up and taken control of, if you put down the rope how would you like to have a willing participant one day?” She teased him, getting closer and closer, she could see he was rock hard. He loosened the rope and pushed her to the side, stepping forward towards Y/N who quickly flipped him to the floor and cuffed him.

“Travis Johnson you are under arrest for the rape and murder of over 12 women. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one will be appointed for you. If you chose to share anything without a lawyer present you have the right to stop at any time. Is that clear?”

She single handily lifted him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as the men in the hall just watched with awe.

“You’re a little bitch you know that?” The unsub said as he struggled in her grasp.

She slammed him against the hallway wall, pressing right up against his back, whispering in his ear “oh so now you have a big mouth huh, finally feel like you can talk to a woman who isn’t tied down? I’m in control here, you’re my little bitch you hear me? Only good boys get to speak to me.” She said as she pulled him back off the wall and handed him off to local PD. “Have fun being a little bitch in prison Travis.”

She stood there with her arms crossed catching her breath as the adrenalin shook through her body.

“Well done Y/L/N,” Hotch and Morgan put their fists out to give her props.

“How would you like to join the team for good?” Hotch asked? “we’ve been looking for an extra hand.”

“Absolutely!”

—

They were going to spend the night in Wichita, all agreeing to spend the night getting drinks at the local bar suggested by the PD. Piling into the SUV all together with Spencer offering to DD.

“How much time have you put into Travis?” Prentiss asked in the back seat beside Y/N.

“Sharon Flynn was the first case I ever put into my system 2 years ago. Her case looked so gruesome and evil it never left my mind. So then when Alice Webster, number 6 came in I did some more digging and found the 4 before Sharon and the 3 rapes, I knew it was cold for a while but something about him always stuck with me. And for some reason last week when I emailed the info to JJ out of the blue I had a gut feeling he was at it again.” Y/N explained.

“It’s a special talent to just feel when something is wrong.” JJ smiled back at them.

“I’ve always been, not fascinated, by serial killers but more interested in the chase of justice.” She explained, “if that makes sense. I love puzzles and finding answers and at least this way the end result is families finding peace.”

They pulled into the parking lot, all of them finding their way into the bar before the ladies went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“So Y/N,” Prentiss said, taking her phone out and calling Penelope. “The ladies of the BAU are very close, so welcome to our little group.”

“exactly.” Penelope said over the phone, “welcome to the group you’re going to fit right in!” She cheered.

“Thank you, VICAP was not a tight-knit group like y’all are. I’m extremely excited to get to know you all more.” Y/N smiled as she straightened her shirt out in the mirror.

“So you and Spencer?” JJ asked.

“We were in the same kindergarten class,” Y/N said with a small smile. “I thought he was going to be my best friend and then he took some test and was bumped into 4th grade. By the time I was in high school he had already finished his second Ph.D.”

“So you never kept up with each other?” Prentiss asked.

She shook her head. “I knew of him, my mom is the Activities Organizer at the home his mom is at, he used to go to the park across from my house, he now lives across the hall from me and works with me. I think we were always supposed to be friends but it wasn’t the right time till now.”

“Sounds like you have a crush,” Penelope teased through the phone.

“I do.” She smiled to herself. “I think I always have.”

“If pretty boy was here he’d say that there is a statistical likelihood that because you’ve been interested in him for longer than 3 years you’re most likely in love with him and you'll never not be.” Prentiss explained, “I heard him say that to Hotch once.”

She nodded along, “I guess I just need to get him to fall in love with me now.”

“It won't be that difficult.” JJ placed her hand on Y/N’s back and they all made their way out of the bathroom smiling.

The men were all sitting together at a table with everybody’s drinks already waiting.

“We didn’t know what you liked,” Spencer said as Y/N sat beside him. “So I said I’d go get whatever you want.”

“Or we can go up to the bar together.” She smiled.

The two of them got up and walked to the bar, the rest of the team watched them.

She leaned against the bar, ordering her drinks and pressing in close to Spencer. “It’s been so nice getting to spend time with you.” He said softly.

She was handed her drinks before she could even respond. Taking her tequila shot there and bringing her margarita back to the table as Spencer followed swiftly behind her.

They all drank and exchanged case stories from within and beyond the BAU, Spencer was able to add a lot of input but he was always cut off. Y/N leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “you can tell me all your facts later I really want to hear them.” She smiled so softly Spencer felt his heart about to burst in his chest.

Emily left the group to go flirt with the bartender, JJ was on FaceTime in the SUV with Will, Rossi had disappeared with a local woman and Hotch and Morgan were exchanging childhood stories over a beer in the corner.

The bar was playing old, slow music, almost everyone had filtered out but there were still older local couples hanging out and dancing in the middle of the room.

“Do you dance?” Y/N asked Spencer.

“I can try.”

She took his hand and led him to the floor. Drunk on the alcohol and his touch as she slipped his hands around to her back, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head on his chest. She felt his cheek rest on the top of her head as the two of them just swayed in a circle together.

“Do you have any other memories of me?” Y/N asked him softly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You lived across the street from the park, and your mom works at the nursing home. You have 2 younger brothers who have always looked older than you. They would come and go when I was sitting on the lone swing and I’d always see you in the window reading. I knew you were my age but it still never felt right for me to talk to you when I was in university.”

“I watched you every time you were on the swings, you looked so peaceful. You read at least a book a day every time you were out there and it became so special to me seeing you there every weekend.” She explained.

“The world works in mysterious ways.” He explained.

She held him as close as she could. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect her day to go like this. She expected coffee and a weird goodbye in the elevator and staring at a computer screen all day. Somehow she ended up in Spencer's arms in a different state after having caught the serial killer that's haunted her dreams for years.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her back, “do you want to go back to the hotel? We have an early flight.” He whispered.

“Yeah,” she smiled pulling back but reaching down to hold his hand as they walked over to Hotch and Morgan.

They drove home quietly, everyone in the back was happily drunk and tired. They parked and wandered up to their rooms, saying goodbye at their doors and disappearing into their rooms.

Spencer let her take the bathroom first, changing into her PJ’s and then he did the same. She laid in her bed, facing his as he sat up and read.

“Can I come lie beside you?” She asked, knowing exactly how needy she sounded.

He nodded, pulling the sheet back so she could slip right in. She laid on her side and just looked up at him. Absolutely astounded that she was with him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Spencer asked, putting his book down and sliding down the bed to be on her level.

“Yeah?” She said nervously.

“Today you said it’s hard for people to come forward after they are assaulted, it sounded like personal experience and I wanted you to know if you need anyone, I’m always available for you.” He explained.

“Oh,” her face dropped. “I was 12, he was 15. You were in high school at the same time as him. I don’t know if you’d remember him, his name was Christopher.”

Spencer nodded along as she spoke. “When my mom finally went back to work she didn’t trust me watching my brothers alone so her friend offered to babysit us during the days. Her foster son took advantage of me the whole summer and when my parents finally found out he went into Sophomore year and told everyone that the nerdy girl who looks like bugs bunny was obsessed with him, that I stalked him and that anything I said about him wasn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder to soothe her.

“It’s okay, they used to call me bugs bunny because of my overbite. I used to rest my front teeth on my front lip and they would throw carrots at me,” she explained further.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly.

“What does?”

“When I was 13 the seniors had a cheerleader invite me onto the football field and convinced me to strip down to my underwear, she was about to kiss me when all the football guys ran out and beat me up, they tied me to the goal post and the one said ‘we should really hook you up with bugs bunny, you losers would be perfect together.’ And they left me there all night long.”

“Oh Spencer I am so sorry,” she cuddled in close to him, placing her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I think we went through our traumas separately all these years because something bigger than us knew we’d need each other one day.”

“When we get back to Virginia, would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asked.

“I would want nothing more.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

They stayed like that for a while until Spencer felt Y/N slip into the night's slumber. He quietly reached for the lamp, turning it off and readjusting himself under Y/N’s grasp.

He fell asleep not so long after. Both sleeping soundly for the first time in a long time.

Chapter 2

They had 3 back to back cases once they arrived back at Quantico. They travelled from DC to California to North Carolina within 2 weeks of Y/N working with the BAU.

Meaning she had not yet gone on that date Spencer asked her out on.

“If we get another call as soon as I reach that elevator I am leaving and not coming back. I am exhausted,” Emily said as she packed her bag and all but sprinted for the door.

“I hope my car still runs, it’s been parked here for so long now,” Y/N added and she walked towards the door. “You coming Spence?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the car,” he said with a smile as he waved her off.

Emily and Y/N waited for the elevator, Penelope and JJ quickly followed behind them with their bags in their hands. Penelope’s heels clicked as fast as they could against the floor as she tried to catch up.

“Girls night?” JJ asked, “Will said Henry is asleep and he’s about to go to bed too, so I’m free for a bit?”

“I have to go home, I’ve barely moved into my new apartment, I still have to unpack,” Y/N explained.

“How about we come have some wine and help you?” Emily offered.

“If I’m being honest, I kinda want some alone time with Spencer.” She blushed bright red.

“Oooooo,” Penelope and JJ teased.

“It’s about time someone gave Spencer the attention he deserves,” Emily laughed.

“Believe me he’s going to get too much attention now that I live across the hall from him, work with him and carpool with him,” she giggled right back. “Has he never had a girlfriend before?”

“Not that we know of,” JJ said, “he’s very quiet.”

“Have you?” Penelope asked, “dated before that is?”

“oh no, I’ve never dated anyone before, I haven’t even kissed anyone in years,” she said feeling bashful and embarrassed.

“I think that's what Spencer needs though,” Emily added, “He needs someone on the same level as him all ‘round, you two match in every sense it’s almost perfect.”

“He’s probably the only man who doesn’t make me feel scared like I want my first real love to be with someone I feel safe with, I don’t think I could do anything with like, Morgan or Hotch or any men like them. They’re nice, yeah but the aggressive authority side isn’t something I’m comfortable around outside of work.” She explained.

“Yeah, Spencer is a sweetheart. I think that’s why I didn’t end up with him honestly.” JJ said softly, “Gideon tried to hook us up years ago cause we were the youngest on the team, but I do crave that authority outside of work.”

“It’s probably because you’re in power here. You handle the media, you wear the pants and you get shit done,” Y/N said, “you want to go home and be taken care of by a man who knows how to run a household.”

“Exactly!” JJ laughed.

“I want to be taken care of, yes, but I rather be the caretaker at home. I just want someone who will do their own thing with me in the same room, to kiss me before we go to bed and make sure I know they love me.” Y/N said softly, only picturing a life with Spencer as she said it.

The elevator never moved the whole time they were in there, it dinged and opened to Spencer and Morgan waiting. “You guys are that tired you didn’t even make it to your cars?” Morgan teased.

“didn’t even push the button actually,” Y/N chimed in.

“We were having girl time,” Penelope smiled.

“well let’s go home finally,” Morgan and Spencer walked in, pressing the button to the garage and riding down in silence.

Spencer waited for Y/N to exit the elevator last before walking with her to her car. She unlocked it and got in, watching and waving as her new friends pulled out of the garage.

“Ready?” She asked, pulling out as soon as she saw Spencer nod his head with his cute little pressed-lip smile.

They drove home in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet for the first time in weeks. The drive was quick, 30 minutes in the cold, dark, Virginia wilderness.

She parked in their parking lot, yawning as she turned the car off. She grabbed her purse from the back seat and made her way inside with Spencer.

“You going to sleep?” She asked him when they reached her door.

“Probably not, my brain is still too caught up in the cases,” he said honestly.

“Would you like to come in for some tea? To calm down before bed?” She offered as she unlocked her door.

She stepped inside, unlocking the alarm with the 4 digit code. Spencer tried his best not to listen but he failed, he’ll remember the sound of the code forever now.

She flicked on the light and looked around at the mess she left in her living room. “God I forgot it’s a mess in here,” she groaned.

Spencer followed her inside, following her lead and dropping his bag on the floor. He watched as Y/N walked around the house with her hand on her gun, clearing each room to make sure it was still safe.

“Sorry, I live alone, I don’t take any chances,” she said as she came back into the room.

She unlocked her safe and placed her work gun inside, closing it and spinning the lock right after. She let out a deep sigh, stretching her arms out over her head. “It’s so nice to be back in this mess.”

“I can help you unpack this weekend?” Spencer offers.

“If you want to that would be nice, I’ll order us some take out too.”

She picked up the boxes on her couch and moved them to the floor, she cleared off her coffee table and took the lamps out of the box in the corner. She plugged them into the wall and set them on the end tables. Luckily her furniture was in place all she had to do was put out all her little trinkets, books and photos.

Spencer took a seat on her couch, opening a box with mugs and cups, taking them all out of their bubble wrapping and setting them on the coffee table.

Y/N managed to find her kettle, as well as the box of random food she brought from her old cupboard. She set out a variety of teas and digestive biscuits.

Spencer slowly brought the mugs over, placing them in the cupboard of Y/N’s choosing, making sure he left 2 mugs out for them.

“Can I have a green tea?” Spencer asked softly.

“Of course, is it your favourite?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I would like some caffeine but I’m not interested in having a coffee, so this is a good middle ground.”

“I’m not a fan of most hot drinks, that's why I drink ice coffee in the mornings,” Y/N poured the hot water into both cups, leaving room for milk in both mugs just in case. “But, Orange Pekoe is my favourite.”

She placed a tea bag in each mug and handed Spencers to him.

She watched him add a little sugar to his mug before picking it up and returning to the sofa. She followed him shortly after adding milk and sugar to her own, as well as a plate of cookies.

She sighed as she settled in to the couch. “Going to try my hardest to manifest a full weekend off, with no cases, if my spirit guides loved me they will listen.” She jokes.

“You’re spiritual?” He asks.

“A little?” She shrugs, “I’m very into natural medicine, lunar cycles, manifesting and affirmations. Basically what would be considered a witch back in the day.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I had a pretty invasive surgery when I was 17, and because of the body trauma, I developed fibromyalgia. And there really aren’t any answers or explanations for it so I had to turn to something to bring me peace and pain relief.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that.”

“It’s okay, eating right, taking my supplements, sleeping and exercise help. Basically, if I take care of myself my body will thank me,” she huffed out a small laugh. “It’s annoying waking up in pain randomly for no reason. I rather wake up sore from taking down an unsub, at least then, the pain is more like a reward, you know?”

Spencer nodded along and smiled softly, “I’m glad you found something that helps you.”

“How about you? I’m guessing you’re a science-only man?”

He laughed, “yes.”

“So do you believe in soulmates?” She asked on a whim.

“In the scientific sense of the word yes. I believe when the big bang happened, all the atoms, electrons and particles that split to make the universe as we know it, still exist in us today. Who’s to say that they don’t pull back to each other, causing a cosmic connection,” Spencer explained softly, his voice low as he explained himself.

Y/N set her drink down, moving in closer to him on the couch. “And how do you know when you’ve met your other half?” She asked. Her voice was just as low.

Spencer set his mug down as well, he placed his warm hand on her cheek, “I think everything would just make sense with them. They’d orbit each other's lives for so long, observing and acknowledging one another and finally one day they’ll connect.”

He leaned in and pressed his perfectly soft lips against hers. She reached her hand around the back of his neck and held him into the kiss. Breathing in deeply through her nose, trying to keep the moment forever.

She pulled back, her breathing was deep as she opened her eyes to look into his. “If you weren’t just explaining the big bang to me, I’d think that was it.”

He laughed at her joke, making both of their hearts soar. She pressed him back against the sofa, adjusting themselves so that she was lying partially on top of him as they cuddled in her crowded living room.

They could hear the sound of the world going on around them. The subtle hum of the subway below them. The distant car horns, someone upstairs was walking around in their apartment.

They were completely quiet then, just cuddled up in their own world without any distractions. The two of them let their hands wander each other as they laid there.

Y/N slowly sat up, peeling herself out of Spencer's grip. “Do you want to spend the night here?”

“I’m just going to run across the hall and get ready for bed, I can lock up when I come back?” He said softly.

“Okay, the button with the person inside the house is the one you hold down on the alarm system after you lock both locks,” she explained before standing up and walking into her bedroom.

She changed into a pair of shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. She brushed her teeth and hair, throwing it up in a little bun. She took out her contacts, replacing them with her glasses. She washed her face, watered her plants and sat down in her bed finally.

She had her hand on her night side drawer, where she keeps her other gun, just in case the person coming into her house wasn’t Spencer. But then she heard the alarm system arm, both locks clicked, the sound of dishes being placed in the sink and finally the sound of a lamp being clicked off.

Spencer slipper clad feet against the hardwood floor is all she heard as he walked into her room. He took the right side of the bed, wearing his PJ bottoms and a regular t-shirt. It was really the first time she was him so dressed down.

She settled down into the bed, she put her glasses on her side table, plugged in her phones and turned out the light. Spencer spooned into her, cuddling in tight and holding her against his chest.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” She whispered.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

She didn’t fall asleep right away. She basked in the glory that was Spencer Reid’s warm embrace. The feeling of his breath against her neck and his hand on her stomach.

“I love you.” Was the last thing she thinks she heard before she finally fell asleep.

—

She woke up to her phone ringing. She reached over to the nightstand and clicked talk. “SSA Y/L/N,” she said.

“Hey, it’s Penelope.”

“What’s up?”

“Not a case don’t worry, I was just wondering if I could stop by with some iced coffee and breakfast sandwiches to help you unpack?” She asked way too cheerfully for whatever time it was.

“Uh yeah just give us a chance to wake up, can you come by in 30?” She said as she rubbed her eyes, waking up.

“Us?”

“Uh, yeah, Spencer came in for tea and slept on the couch,” she lied.

“No I didn’t,” he groggily chimed in from where he was cuddled into the crook of Y/N’s neck.

“Right okay, so I’ll bring Spencer some breakfast too then,” she said before hanging up.

Y/N placed the phone back on her night table, settling back into Spencer’s embrace.

“Why’d you lie?” He asked.

“Didn’t know if I had your consent to tell her about us yet,” she whispered into his hair as she placed kisses on his head.

“Morgan told me if I didn’t kiss you last night, he’d make me do another round of physical evaluations,” he smiled against her skin. “He wanted to win the bet everyone set to see who would kiss who first.”

“So you just helped the guys win?”

“Prentiss, Morgan and Hotch were betting for me to kiss you first,” he admitted.

“Well, that means Rossi, Garcia and JJ think I’m the one wearing the pants here. Good to know,” she giggled.

“You can wear the pants,” he said as he shifted his weight to look up at her, “as long as I get to take them off later.”

“Well, Dr. Reid, I never thought you’d have it in you,” she was pleasantly surprised.

“When I get comfortable around someone I’m a lot different than I am at work,” he explained, “I heard what you said about needing someone to take care of who still wants to take care of you.”

She blushed, “of course you did.”

He leaned down to kiss her jaw and down her neck. “I think we can work something out,” he whispered.

Her breathing hitched. She couldn’t believe the complete 180º his personality just took, and she wasn’t complaining. All the moisture left her mouth as she just nodded her head in agreement.

“We should get up before she gets here,” he said, kissing her one last time before crawling out of bed.

She laid there staring up at the ceiling, shocked, flabbergasted, enamoured, basically every single word that essentially meant ‘what the fuck just happened.'

She got up, turned off the alarm and waited to use the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and replaced her tank top with a sweater. Spencer slipped across the hall to change into jeans and a button-down shirt, almost like he couldn’t be in anything else around his friends.

Penelope was a hugger, she made sure to give Y/N a good squeeze as she walked into her apartment. “It’s literally the same as Reid’s just backwards,” was the first thing she said.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been over there yet,” Y/N smiled, taking the coffees out of Penelope’s hands and setting them on the counter.

“JJ and Emily said they’d love to come help later too if you want them to, but it doesn’t look too bad for just the 3 of us,” she said looking around.

“Everything is labelled, my room is all done so you don’t need to worry about it, set up however you see fit, honestly, I’m at a bit of a loss figuring out how to make this place feel more like me with what I have.”

“Alright, well,” she started, looking for the box with the cleaning supplies. “First we clean the kitchen then we put everything where it has to go.”

So that's what they did, they spent a few hours wiping down every surface in the house, disinfecting the floors, the walls, door handles, nobs, everything. Then Penelope got out all her pots and pans, hanging them on the rack above the kitchen island.

Spencer took all the plates out, stacking them neatly in the cabinet. Y/N stacked her cups and glasses, placing them on the shelf with the glass door. They organized her utensils, baking equipment, cookbooks and aprons, asking all about how much she baked.

She offered to make cookies for the team soon, that was a Sunday night with Spencer activity for sure.

In the living space, there weren’t many things. Spencer unpacked the books and placed them on her shelves in library-coded order. While Penelope and Y/N unboxed all her albums and records, cheering and singing along to their favourites.

Y/N had never quite had friends like this before, people who just fit into her life so easily. This was really the best family in the FBI, they knew how to make someone feel completely and wholly loved.

“I need to get some art and stuff,” Y/N said staring at the one empty wall.

“What are you going to do on the fireplace mantle?” Spencer asked, noticing it was still empty.

“Probably some of my spiritual stuff, like my crystals and candles and incense,” she smiled.

“oh, I do that too!” Another thing they had in common.

The day blew past them. They finished unpacking and breaking down all the boxes by 2 pm, finally sitting down altogether, exhausted. Ready to order a few pizzas and chill for the rest of the afternoon.

—

“I really appreciate the help today,” she said as she hugged Penelope. Penelope’s hugs were more comforting than her own mother’s, she thought. Holding her tightly and taking it all in. “I’m so blessed I ran into Spencer and now I get to be your friend.”

“I will cry,” she joked as she hugged y/n tighter. “I’m very blessed to have met you as well.”

She hugged Spencer on her way out as well, forcing herself to leave or else she would have stayed and talked for hours.

As soon as Spencer closed the door behind her, he set the alarm the way Y/N liked it. She smiled at him, seeing him remember how she likes to feel completely safe.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in. “Would you like to make out with me on my bed?”

“Like horny teenagers?” He giggled, dropping his forehead to rest on hers.

“We never really got the horny teenage experience,” she said softly.

“Are you-?” He cut himself off before he could say the word.

She looked up at him, her eyes big and innocent, she nodded. “technically.”

“Technically?” He repeated softly.

“I don’t want to count my sexual assault as my first,” she whispered. “I’ve never let anyone touch me since.”

His arms wrapped tighter around her, pulling her in closer to be right against his chest. He kissed her cheeks, her chin, forehead, nose, and finally her lips. “I’m going to try my best to never hurt you.”

She kissed him deeper, her hand on the back of his neck, never wanting to part from him. But when she did, she whispered, out of breath. “Promise to only hurt me if I ask you to?”

He saw the way his breath hitched and the way his grip changed. His face went red as he nodded feverishly.

“Are you a virgin Dr. Reid?” She teased.

“No,” he whispered. “I uh had sex in college, just to get it out of the way.”

She broke out of his grasp, taking his hand and pulling him into her bedroom. She closed the door behind them flicking on her fairy lights and lighting a couple of candles. He sat patiently on her bed as he watched her nervously organize things that had no reason to be organized in that moment.

But he let her calm down until she was fully ready, or she changed her mind. Either way, he was going to hang out with her all night long, however she wanted him.

“Close your eyes,” she asked softly. “Lay back against the bed and don’t look at me yet.” She ordered him and he listened.

He pressed his eyes closed and scooted up the bed till his head was on a pillow, laying back with his hands over his eyes. He listened closely to the sound of her taking her clothes off. She tried to steady her breath as she pulled off her sweater and sports bra and replace it with something cute.

She put on her only pair of matching underwear, ones she got on sale at some department store that she only wore for herself so far. She crawled up the bed, sitting directly on Spencer's hips.

She took his hands off his eyes, noticing they were still closed, she smiled. She placed his hands on her bare hips. “Open them.”

He opened his eyes to the most stunning image he’s ever seen in his life. Blinking a few times as his mind burned the image into the back of his eyelids for the rest of time. “Fuck,” he whispered.

She smiled to herself, “thought you’d like it.”

She leaned down, arching her back and kissed his neck. His hands travelled from her thighs to her perched ass as she kissed up his jaw to his ear. He was nothing but breathy moans and thank you’s as she explored him.

She ground herself down on his growing erection, smirking against his skin. She sat back on his hips, wiggling as she undid each of his shirt buttons, way too slow.

She took her time, pulling the front of his shirt out of his jeans and finally spreading the shirt open. Her hands ran over his chest before she used her nails to scrape her way down to his jean buttons.

He reached for her hands then. Stopping her and looking up into her eyes. “Before we start, I need to know what will trigger you,” he said softly.

“Oh,” her face dropped a little, she was a little overwhelmed with the fact he was asking, but she knew he truly cared. “I can’t do blowjobs yet, I will probably have a panic attack.”

“I can live without them,” he smirked, “look at everything else you do, fuck you’re amazing.” His hands roamed her skin the whole time.

She tucked her ankles under his knees and in one swift moment flipped them from laying on his side of the bed to the middle. He was on top of her now, absolutely amazed that she could do that.

“Told you I was combat trained,” she giggled.

Spencer sat up on the bed, ripping his shirt off and pushing himself out of both his jeans and underwear at the same time. Her mouth couldn’t help but fall open and the sight of his perfect cock bouncing free.

He sat back, trying to tug his jeans off of his ankles when he fell back and landed on the hardwood floor, “Spencer!” She couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from her.

He huffed, clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she quickly bit her lip to try and stop laughing.

“When you said horny teenager phase I didn’t think you meant the awkward part too,” he smiled, standing completely naked in front of her.

“Get back here,” she giggled.

He got right back on top of her, between her legs that she wrapped immediately around him. Locking him in place. “How would you like it?” He asked.

“Well hypothetically,” she began with a smirk, “I think I would like to ride you, sitting up, tits in your face, the whole shebang.”

He forgot how to breathe, the most beautiful girl in the world just laid out how she wants to be fucked like it was a science experiment.

He was in love with her.

She flipped him again, “you have to stop doing that!” He gasped.

She laughed as she sat up, getting off him enough so he could sit up against the headboard. She shimmied out of her underwear before sitting down on him again, their most intimate parts just resting close to one another. She shivered at the feel of his hot skin against hers. She’d never been this close to another human before.

“Do you have a condom?” He asked, suddenly shy.

“If you want one yeah but I have an IUD in case I get,” she stopped herself, “you know, in the field.”

“Yeah that's smart,” he was so nervous.

She leaned in and kissed him. Holding his cheeks in her hands as his hands reached behind her back to undo her bra. She opened her mouth to let him explore with his tongue as she felt the straps of her bra slip down her shoulders.

She let go of his face one hand at a time and peeled the bra from her skin. Flinging it across the room without looking and pressing her breasts against his chest.

She gets on her knees without breaking the kiss, reaching between them she grips the base of his cock. His breath hitches in his throat and she can feel his pulse in his shaft.

She drags the head through her folds, she breaks the kiss to breathe in his ear, “you know, you’re just a bit bigger than what I'm used to.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

She lines him up with her and slowly pushes down on him, pulling up and back down again, each time getting his cock a little wetter on her juices so he can slip in easier. “I think it was called the emerald stud, he’s in a box over there,” she whispers in his ear as she bottoms out.

She sits back, her arms around his shoulders, she rocks on his cock. His eyes slip shut as he dips his head back against her crossed wrists. “Fuck,” he breathes.

She shifts again, bouncing more on him when she’s used to his size. His hands are on her ass again, helping her bounce as he moved to kiss her neck and collarbones.

He’s all noises, hot breath against her chest and sloppy kisses. She reaches between them to rub her clit before he pushes her hand out of the way to rub her himself. Feeling how swollen she is, he squeezes her clit lightly.

She moans out a high pitches squeak that she had no idea she could make, covering her mouth as she bounced a little harder on his cock. “Fuck Spencer,” she whispered into his hair.

He kissed her ear again, “you want me to cum in you?” He asks.

“God yeah, fill me up,” she replies without thinking, tossing her head back and grinding down ever so provocatively on him.

She presses her front against him more, causing the friction from his index finger on her clit to get more intense as she bucks her hips faster and faster against him.

He’s gone. Absolutely destroyed. He cants even worn her that he’s about to cum he just tips his head back and fucks up into her, gripping her ass so tight that he knows she’s going to have 5 deep, finger-shaped, purple bruises around each ass cheek.

Her orgasm rips through her, losing balance with her shaking thighs she gasps for air, falling into him with her face in the crook of his neck. She is breathing so hard as she comes down, she drools on his neck a little.

He pulls his hand out from between them, flicking her clit on last time. Sending a tremor through her body. She twitches against him, tensing up and tightening around the cock still inside her.

He moans once more, and she feels the tiniest trickle of cum slip out of her as he lifts her off him.

They don’t talk. They just hold onto one another, breathing and rubbing their hands over each other's skin.

“Wow,” Spencer finally says.

“Yeah,” she agrees.

“Hypothetically,” he says with a smile, “I think the outcome we reached was the intended goal?” Only Spencer Reid would make a joke like that after sex.

She laughed and kissed his neck, “very successful, I would be willing to switch techniques next time to see if we can repeat this outcome.”

“Sounds like a date.”

chapter 3

They worked together perfectly. Every morning he’d head across the hall to his own apartment to get ready, coming back to a slice of toast and coffee in his travel mug ready to go.

She looked gorgeous every morning. She put time and effort into what she wore to work, just to chase psychopaths all day. He was in love with her, its the only thing he knew for sure when he looked at her. He was never going to recover from falling for her.

He’d hold all her things while she sets the alarm and locks the door. She would drive them to work each morning and even then he’d carry all her things up to the office.

Everyone noticed how Spencer changed around Y/N, he was always smiling, he was basically glowing from being in love, and having sex. Derek teased him constantly, but in all honesty, he was really proud of his little bro.

They had a slow day, which meant all the ladies filed into Penny’s office to shoot the shit when they were really supposed to be writing reports.

“So?” Penelope looked at Y/N with an arched eyebrow. “How is he?”

She shook her head and giggled to herself. “Really good.”

“Really?” Emily pried?

“He has this other personality that comes out when we, you know,” she was afraid to say fuck inside the walls of Penelope’s office. “I’m addicted, I was so afraid to have sex and now I’m like having an internal battle of is it really worth getting caught in the filing room for a quicky!”

They all burst into laughter, sharing stories of all the times each of them has fucked at work, “you won't get caught if you let us help you?” JJ said with a smirk.

“You’re kidding?” Y/N tilted her head, not believing her.

“I can ask Morgan and the team to lunch while you stay here, text Spencer saying to stay back to get work done but he can meet you in here.” Penelope planned the whole thing.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “I don’t think I’m comfortable enough for that yet.” She was being completely honest.

“We need a code word for when you choose to use this plan,” Emily said. “Like you group text us the word ‘switch’ and we will keep everyone busy for you and Spence.”

“Why do you want me to fuck him here so bad?”

They all laughed, “because we’re not used to Spence getting this kind of love!” JJ said. “Emily and Penelope covered for me literally when me and Will made Henry.”

“having a hand in making my godson gave me a god complex,” Penelope joked.

They got along fabulously, laughing and working all afternoon before the boys came to get them.

“We got something.”

Y/N walked out first joining Spencer in the hall with a smile, standing close enough to him as they walked that their knuckles rubbed together. She sat beside him in the briefing room, opening the case file in front of her and flipping through the info.

“Wow,” she whispered to herself. “I know a few of the 13 women, I put them in the missing system.”

Spencer rubs his hand over her back softly, looking at the pages she’s flipping through.

Garcia wasn’t cheery anymore, she grabbed the remote for the tv and started her rundown.

“Over the last 6 days, police in Winnemucca Nevada have dug up 13 bodies of women who have gone missing in the last 10 years. He seems to kill sporadically without patterns. M.E has confirmed all 13 women, and de-comp shows they were all killed within 24 hours of going missing.”

“Cause?” Prentiss asked.

“All 13 were strangled with plastic shopping bags, that were left wrapped around their faces in the graves. They were all sexually assaulted antemortem, but not all of them died from asphyxiation. He also stabbed 9 of the 13 victims, 5 of which died from massive blood loss. But the real kicker was that all 13 of them had their wombs removed.” Penelope finished.

“Do we know if any of them were pregnant?” Y/N asked.

“Yes,” she said flipping through slides, “victim number 13, Traci Purcell was 17 and according to her autopsy, her HCG levels indicated she would have been 3 weeks along when she was murdered.”

“Are they able to see if the others were pregnant?” Hotch asked.

“They’re working on it, best bet will be for me to pull medical records and to ask the family.”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch nodded towards the door.

Slowly but surely they all filed into the plane, Y/N took a window seat, quickly burying her head in the file, looking at each and every victim carefully.

“Spence, would you help me place the geographical profile?” Y/N asked him softly as he got comfortable in the seat across from her.

“Once we take off we can spread out the map,” he smiled softly back at her. Even when dealing with the hard cases they managed to get caught up in each other's eyes.

“Okay love birds, can I sit here too or will I get more than air sickness?” Morgan said, pretending to feel sick as he sat beside Y/N.

She smacked his arm lightly.

“Speaking of,” Spencer said, stopping to swallow nervously. “Hotch I’m going to need 2 of the workplace fraternization forms when we get back.”

Everyone on the plane cheered at him, he got 3 high-fives and all the congratulations in the world. Y/N immediately felt her face warm up.

“Don’t worry, Garcia filed them for you that night she helped you unpack,” Hotch smiled into his paperwork.

“How did she even know?” Y/N’s voice went up 3 octaves as she panicked.

“At least we know when pretty boy lost his V card now,” Morgan smirked.

“No, just me.” Y/N corrected him. To which Spencer was given yet another high five.

Just then Spencer was handed $20 from Rossi, Hotch, and Morgan. Y/N raised an eyebrow, “why?”

“I bet them $20, years ago, that I am in fact not a virgin and they said they would and I quote ‘only pay me if a woman who has fucked me confirms it.’ So who’s going to tell Gideon to pay up?” He explains.

The team carried on like normal after all the excitement died down. Having side conversations, working on the case, sleeping. The trip from Quantico to Winnemucca was fairly quick.

Y/N sat with Spencer at the table, spreading out the map and watching him place where all 13 victims disappeared from as well as where they were found. They were spread over 3 subdivisions, all 35 miles at least away from the burial sites.

“The park,” Spencer said softly.

“Is that the middle ground?”

“Yeah there’s something significant with the park,” Spencer confirms.

—

Spencer and Y/N went to the M.E together, all 13 women were labelled and displayed under white sheets. They took their time looking over each skeleton and the bodies.

“Clean cuts on the stomach, I wonder why he didn’t stab her?” Spencer said as he looked at the 13th victim.

“She might have cooperated better, or and I hate to say it but, seeing as she was Asian there is a high chance she didn’t bear resemblance to the source of the unsubs rage meaning she got to go out a little easier,” Y/N suggested with a disgusted look on her face.

“The 5 who died of blood loss were all white, brown hair, green eyes. 3 were 26, 2 were 29. They might be exactly his type,” Spencer confirmed the theory.

“They were also murdered,” she flipped her notebook open to show a chart with 5 columns. “June, February, June, November, November. Could also mean something to him.”

“What is that?” Spencer asks.

“It’s a chart that has the name, their age, the missing date and last scene location, the estimated date of death, and the cause. So that I can easily refer to the most important info when making a connection,” She explained. “My brain works better if I can see everything, so I also have my own little hand-drawn map of the area on his page as well as all my ideas in case I don’t get a turn to speak.”

“That’s really smart,” he smiled.

“So June, November and February might be significant to him.”

“Let’s go tell Hotch.”

Spencer drove for once, Y/N sat in the passenger seat in the SUV, doodling into her notebook.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Spencer asked.

“I wrote down the first letter of each month,” she explained, showing him the notebook. “And I circled each of the 3 months that repeat, February, June and November.”

“Okay?” He followed along.

“From February to November it’s 10 months or 40 weeks which is the typical length of a pregnancy,” She explained further. “This whole thing is clearly about pregnancy seeing as he is taking wombs. It’s clearly not a woman seeking revenge because of the sexual assault so it has something to do with him seeking revenge for a pregnancy in his life.”

“Could even be his own, like he’s punishing women who look like his mother because he wishes he was never born,” Spencer ponders.

They pulled into the police station, she got out and walked in all with her head still in the notebook. “Find anything?” Hotch asked.

“Of course she did,” Spencer bragged about her.

—

They all took a break, going back to their hotels to get some rest. All agreeing that since the media hasn’t released anything about this case yet the killed has no idea. They take it in faith that he will stick to his 2 to 4 month waiting period.

They all returned the next morning, refreshed and ready to resume their findings. JJ and Emily spent most of the morning interviewing families of the victims, specifically asking if they knew the vic was pregnant as well as what significance the park played in or around their pregnancies.

Y/N sat in silence with a coffee, flipping through her notebook. Hotch and Morgan were running over ideas they all had with Garcia on the phone.

“Hey, Spence?” Y/N called boy wonder over from the map he had been staring at.

“Yes, my love?” He says softly.

“I think I have an idea, can you go over it with me before we tell the team?” She asked.

“Of course,” he took a seat beside her.

“Why do I have an IUD?” She asks him in a whisper.

“In case you get raped in the field,” he whispered back.

“More specifically.”

“So you don’t get pregnant as a result of a rape in the field.”

“The sexual assaults in his mind, are him getting these victims pregnant. But they’re already pregnant when he picks them right?” She explains, “So that when he removes the uterus postmortem it's his way of aborting the child.”

“So this is all about abortion?” Spencer confirms.

“More specifically to do with how you said he regrets being born,” she corrects.

“Do you think he’s the product of a failed abortion?”

She nodded her head, “yeah and that by taking the whole uterus, and the strangling, and the stabbing, both mother and baby are for sure dead.”

“Hotch!” Spencer called across the room. “Y/N figured it out.”

They waited for JJ and Prentiss to finish an interview before they all piled into an office to discuss Y/N’s idea.

“Is there even any way to know if someone is the product of a failed abortion?” Prentiss asked after Spencer and Y/N took turns explaining how they came to their conclusion.

“Probably the best way would be to search for babies born with the common disabilities that occur in babies of failed abortions, but make sure they were born in November,” Y/N explained.

“Why November?” Penelope asked over the phone.

Y/N took a whiteout marker and started writing on the whiteboard.

“The 5 victims that died from loss of blood were all exactly the same, they were murdered in June, February, June. November and November.” She explained.

Writing “J F M A M J J A S O N D” on the whiteboard. Circling February, June and November.

“February, conception. 10 months later, or 40 weeks, is November. June is 4 months along meaning that would be when the mother either had the abortion, be it medical or homemade,” Y/N explained.

“Last year alone 146 of the 164,045 abortions resulted as a failure. When this happens most women choose to have the second procedure, or a D and C. Or they can carry the baby the rest of the way to term,” Spencer explained. “Children brought to term from a first-trimester medical abortion failure often have limb or digit abnormalities while infants born from non-medical approved abortions are more likely to have congenital problems.”

“However someone without a limb would not be able to do what our unsub is capable of. Digging graves, abducting, dragging dead bodies, it’s a lot of effort,” JJ added.

“Exactly, which is why I think our unsub probably has a mental disability.”

“Non-medical abortions, most often referred to as the poor person’s method, is taking a non-FDA approved ulcer treatment drug called Misoprostol, which is causing an epidemic of birth defects all along South America and parts of Asia,” Spencer added. “It induces contractions, causing women to deliver babies far too early to survive outside of the womb. If taken after the first trimester, and unsuccessful it can cut off oxygen to the brain long enough to permanently damage development in the frontal lobe.”

“Did the families mention anything about the park?” Y/N asked Prentiss and JJ.

“So far 4 of the victim's husbands say their wives announced they were pregnant on park benches, near the children swinging. They said it was the typical, ‘that could be us one day, that day came sooner than you thought’ moments from movies.” JJ confirmed.

“Let’s deliver the profile,” Hotch announced, following them all into the precinct.

—

They spent the next few hours looking for anyone with birth defects or mental disabilities that could be a potential suspect. Asking the other officers as well as anyone around the park about the type of man they were looking for.

Morgan and JJ patrolled the park while Rossi and Prentiss asked around on the street.

“Lynette Hayward,” Y/N whispered to herself, standing up and rushing through all the papers on the table in front of her.

“She was the only one who wasn’t pregnant, she was the only one who wasn’t reported missing, she was the oldest and in her youth, she had brown hair and green eyes. What if she’s his mother?” Y/N expressed to Spencer and Hotch who were watching her scramble around.

She pulled her phone out and called Garcia, “what’s cooking good lookin’?” Penelope answered.

“Can you help unscramble my egg brain?” She joked right back.

“Sure thing, whatcha got?”

“Lynette Hayward, does she have children, was she ever pregnant, or put someone up for adoption?”

“Let me check into it and I will call you right back!” Garcia said, hanging up and going right to work.

“Is there anyone here who knew Lynette Hayward about 30 years ago? She would have been 26 to 29, my height, brown hair, and green eyes?” Y/N announced to the whole Police Department.

“I did,” an officer said, standing up from the desk on the other side of the room.

She waved him over, pulling out a chair and asking him to sit.

“Was Lynette ever pregnant?” Y/N asked.

He thought for a moment, licking his lips and harkening all the way back to his 20’s. “There was a summer that no one saw her."

"When was this?" Spencer asked.

"From June to November, not a single person saw her. We thought maybe she was doing summer classes somewhere,” he explained.

“Were there any children dropped off at a fire hall or a hospital that November?” Spencer asked.

“There was a baby left in the park, poor little guy had been left out there in the cold,” he said.

Hotch, Spencer and Y/N all took a deep breath and looked at each other. “That’s him.”

Garcia called back then, “I found 1 baby left abandoned in the park in November of 1979, he was diagnosed with a cleft lip and palate, seizures, and later on he was diagnosed with diabetes, Crohn’s disease and Asperger's syndrome.”

“Name and address?” Spencer asked.

“That's the difficult part, he was born, operated on and handed over to the state and cared for by a foster family that named him Jake Alexander Ingrid. At the age of 6, he was adopted by them fully. When he was 12 he dropped out of the public school system due to bullying that left him in the hospital with a broken arm. After that, his trail goes cold.”

“How cold?” Y/N asked.

“If I didn't know better I'd say he was the one missing not Lynette,” Garcia confirmed.

“Does anyone live in Lynette’s house?” Hotch asked.

The sound of Garcia’s typing was all they heard over the phone, “her bills are being paid on time, someone is in her trailer. I’ve sent the address to your phones.”

“Let’s go.”

Hotch kicked the trailer door in, “FBI!”

He was asleep, startled awake in the bed that used to belong to his birth mother. He cried, overwhelmed with the 3 guns pointed in his face. Hotch sighed, cuffing him and reading him his rights.

“Why are the worst ones always the sadist?” Y/N asked Spencer as they watched forensics tore apart the trailer.

“Sad in what context?”

“His whole life was so fucked up, it sucks. All those women crossed paths with him and he took his fucked up life and ended theirs, as well as their babies,” Y/N couldn’t stop shaking her head as she spoke, disgusted with the whole situation.

Spencer wrapped her up in a hug, “if we spend all our time wondering why the world is like this we won't have enough time to bring justice to the victims.”

“which is the best outcome we can ask for,” Y/N agreed.

“Dr, Reid, agent Y/L/N?” An officer interrupted their hug and watched them awkwardly pull away from each other quickly.

“Yes?” Spencer answered.

“We found the wombs.”

The worst fucking sentence she had ever heard. “I can’t look at that.” She said, walking away to join JJ and Prentiss standing by the SUV.

“Good job kid,” Morgan said, wrapping his arm around her. “You’re almost as smart as boy wonder over there.”

“Just call me Mrs, boy wonder then,” she joked.

“Don’t tempt him!” Prentiss joked.

Y/N turned back to see Spencer walking out of the trailer, a shade of green spreading across his skin. “Excuse me,” she said walking towards the ambulance that was on standby.

“Dr. Reid looks like he might be sick,” she said, taking an EMT with her towards him.

Sure enough, Spencer leaned over the bushes and hurled before passing out into the EMT’s arms. Morgan and Hotch came running over to him, helping get him into an ambulance.

“What happened?” Morgan asked.

“He took a look at the recovered womb’s the forensic team found,” Y/N explained.

“That would do it,” Hotch agreed.

Y/N rubbed her hand along Spencer’s shoulder, “good catch,” the EMT complimented her as he took Spencer's vitals.

“I know him well.”

“Too well,” Morgan agreed. “You’d think you were cut from the same cloth.”

“No,” she said softly, gripping Spencer’s hand in her own as he started to stir a little. “We’re cosmically connected, made from the same space rock that split during the big bang.”

“I love you,” he whispered, awake the whole time she was speaking.

“Yeah, yeah,” she teased him, “I know, save your strength, you’re still all pasty white.”

“Gross,” Morgan smiled, turning away from the ambulance

chapter 4

Prentiss convinced Y/N and Spencer to take the weekend off in Nevada to go visit their parents. They agreed that it would be nice, seeing as neither of them thought to tell their moms that they met again let alone that they were together.

Y/N walked into the Nursing home first, looking for her mom in her office as Spencer walked in quickly to go find his mother.

“Hey mom,” Y/N smiled as she knocked on her mother's office door.

“Y/N!” She yelled, shocked to see her eldest baby standing in front of her for the first time since last Christmas. “What are you doing here?”

“Remember how I moved?” She started there.

“Yes?”

“Well, my new neighbour ended up being Spencer Reid, and he introduced me to the BAU and I helped them with a case, so they hired me, and now I work for them and we just finished a case in Winnemucca and me and Spencer are dating. He’s here too and we’re taking the weekend off to tell you and Diana,” she had never rambled so fast to her mother before in her life.

“Holy shit?” Her mother was shocked, “this all happened in the last 3 weeks? Is that why you’ve been too busy to text me?”

“I’ve been on 5 cases in the last 3 weeks, I was swamped,” she smiled, her eyes welling with tears.

Her mom walked over to her and wrapped her up in her arms, holding her close. “My baby, this is everything you wanted why are you crying?”

“I haven’t taken a moment to actually understand that this is all real,” she whispered.

Her mother pulled back, looking in her eyes with a stern look. “Is he good to you?”

She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “He’s wonderful.”

“Diana is in the game room, let’s go see them,” she tucked her arm under Y/N’s and the two of them walked arm in arm towards the game room.

Diana stood up as she saw them walk in, “Debbie’s daughter?” She asked.

Spencer nodded with a large smile on his face. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, my partner.”

“I know you,” Diana said softly, reaching out to pull her into a hug. “You would read to me on Thursdays after Spencer left for CalTech.”

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“I knew you were here as often as you could be, and I felt bad she didn’t have any other children to come see her,” Y/N explained. “I know if my mom was here and my brother couldn’t visit I’d fill in.”

“It was lovely, I still have the book you gave me before you left for the academy,” Diana’s smile was as big and bright as Spencer’s.

They all sat together, sharing stories with each other. It seemed like their mothers enjoyed sharing embarrassing kid stories to make Spencer and Y/N blush back and forth.

Before they knew it, it was 3 pm and visiting hours were coming to an end and Debbie’s shift was about to end as well. “Where are you both staying?” She asked.

“At a hotel downtown,” Y/N explained.

“Nonsense, stay with me and your father!” Debbie insisted.

Y/N shook her head, “we can come to visit for dinner tomorrow, but we need some space.”

“You know how it feels to be in love especially this young Deb, I’m sure you understand,” Diana patted her on the shoulder.

“Go on, have fun. But tomorrow dinner starts at 6:15, Levi and Lizzie also home this weekend,” Debbie smiled, hugging both Spencer and Y/N before Diana.

“Would Diana be able to come to dinner at our place?” Y/N asked.

“I think I can pull some strings,” Debbie agreed, “have a good night tonight guys.”

“We will,” Spencer smiled, taking Y/N’s hand and walking with her to the parking lot.

They both sighed as they sat in their rental car. “That went well,” Y/N said softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you visited my mom?” Spencer asked, holding her hand again.

“I was going to, there’s so much I want to tell you but we haven’t had enough personal time to get through it all, every time we talk lately it’s about murder,” she replied.

“Let's go get a table at a nice restaurant and tell each other everything.”

“I have something to do first, can I drop you off at the hotel and meet you there?” She asked.

“absolutely.”

-—

She drove to her parent's place as fast as she could, they were all just sitting down in the living room when she walked in the door. “Hi sorry I can’t stay I just want to grab a dress from my closet.”

She kicked her shoes off and ran up the stairs to her bedroom just like she would have after school. Her room hadn’t changed much. Her desk was still in the corner, her bed was made, and her mom now used it for storage. There were boxes, lamps, pillows and a million folded blankets all resting on her bed and scattered along the floor.

She shuffled some things out of the way of her closet door and quickly looked through all the bagged dresses she had left here. Minoring in political science and volunteering with government organizations in college meant she had a dress for every occasion, times the 4 years she was there.

“Cocktail, dinner, black tie, prom, homecoming,” she flicked through them all, “funeral,” she said as she stopped. “Why is this here?”

She pulled out a black dress she wore to a democratic representatives fundraiser, it was an off-the-shoulder, 3/4 length sleeve, plunging neckline, skin-tight dress with a slit to show some leg. It was perfect.

She placed it on the edge of her bed and dug out the black heels that she originally bought to go with the dress. She found a strapless bra in her dresser, and a cute pair of underwear buried at the back of her drawer.

She closed her door and quickly changed, walking across the hall in her heels to fluff her hair in the mirror and figure out how the fuck she was going to do her makeup here.

Just then her brother's wife came walking up the stairs, “Y/N?” She knocked on the bathroom door before coming in.

“Hey Lizzie,” she smiled. “Do I look okay?” She asked.

Lizzie looked her up and down with a shocked look on her face, “yeah what’s the occasion? I didn’t even know you were home?”

“It’s a long story, my boyfriend and I were here on a case and we’re staying for the weekend, you get to meet him tomorrow!” She filled her in as she searched the bathroom drawers for makeup.

“What do you need?” She asked.

“Do you have your makeup kit here? We’re like the same shade right?”

Before she knew it, Lizzie was making her sit on the edge of the tub while she did Y/N’s makeup for her. “Remember when you did my prom makeup?” Lizzie asked.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “You and Levi looked so good together that night.”

“Not as good as you look right now, he’s going to eat you alive,” she hyped Y/N up.

“You think so?” Y/N asked, standing up to take a look in the mirror.

“Absolutely!!!”

She took a deep breath and shook the nerves out, “okay I have to go,” she said running back to her room for her phones, wallet and badge.

“Go get him, SSA Y/L/N,” Lizzie smiled as she watched y/n steadily run down the stairs in heels, clicking on the hardwood as she ran.

“Wait!” Her dad yelled from the table, “don’t I get to see you before you leave?”

She ran into the table room, quickly hugging her father at the head of the table and kissing him on his bald head. “I’m late for my date, I love you, I’ll be home tomorrow,” she said running back towards the front door and to her car.

She was like a mad chicken running around with her head cut off. She took a breather in the car before starting the engine and making her way back downtown.

--

She left her car out front with the valet, saying she would be back in a minute. She dug her phone out of her wallet and called Spencer. “I’m in the lobby.”

“I’ll be right there.”

She waited by the elevator, she pulled her boobs up into her bra and wiggled the wire till they looked okay, then she straightened her dress out. She never felt this nervous when she wore this dress the last time, she’s never felt this nervous period, actually.

Spencer Reid did something to her that she couldn’t quite describe. But if she had to, she’d say he makes her feel alive.

The elevator dinged and Spencer walked out in one of his best suits. He was looking down at his button as he stepped out not seeing her at first.

She smiled at him, waiting for him to look up. When he did his eyes grew three times their normal size and his mouth dropped. He stopped right in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders and lightly running his hands down her arms. “You never cease to amaze me.”

“Could say the same thing about you Dr. Reid,” Y/N teased as she pulled on his tie.

She pulled him down by his tie and pressed her lips against his. Never before had either of them been a big fan of PDA, but this was an exception.

She pulled back from him and tucked his tie back into his jacket. Smoothing out his sleeves before taking a step back and handing him the keys. “Lead the way doctor.”

He extended his arm to which she wrapped her arm around. He walked her to the front of the lobby, watching as the bellhop held the door for them.

Their car was still there, waiting with the valet who opened the door when he saw her return. She sat on the passenger side, fixing the slit of her dress to not show too much just yet.

Spencer joined her, sitting in the driver's seat he started the car and drove off.

He reached his hand over to place it on her thigh, where it belonged. He gripped her leg and felt down to where her holster was. She saw his eyebrow raise as he looked down, moving the side of her dress to see her gun strapped to her leg.

“Gonna shoot me if I’m not on my best behaviour tonight, agent?” He laughed.

“Nevada is a concealed carry state, and I don’t trust anyone,” she said. “Plus I look like this tonight, do you know what the crime rate is in Los Vegas-? Don’t answer that, of course, you do,” she teased him.

“It’s pretty hot,” he complimented her.

“What? The gun or my attitude?”

“The fact that you don’t take shit from anyone, you’re a badass and I never have to worry about you.”

“What if I want you to worry?”

“I’m always going to worry, I just mean you’re not a damsel in distress. I can go into every situation knowing you’re smarter on your feet than anyone on the team, and as long as you’re there we’re coming out alive,” he explained better.

“That’s the best compliment,” she felt bashful all of a sudden. She put her hand on his and squeezed it. “I love you, Spencer,” she finally told him.

“I love you too,” he smiled.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t said it back yet.”

He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant they were going to, returning his focus fully to driving. He pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park.

“I knew you’d say it when you were ready, I’m in no rush to hear it,” he leaned over the centre console and kissed her on the lips.

He got out of the car and walked around to open her door, helping her out before extending an arm out for her once more.

He made a reservation while he was alone at the hotel, getting a table in the back away from everyone else. It was a round table with a booth stretching all the way around the table. The back of the chair tall enough to enclose them in their own little world for the time being.

They were at a cute little stake house, one where you got to pick the exact piece of meat you wanted and they did it however you asked. They ordered drinks and enough bread to make the waiter look at them differently.

“Tell me the most random fact about you,” Y/N asked as soon as the waiter left to tell the kitchen their order.

“When my mom’s schizophrenia started getting bad, she thought that the government used dryers to take our socks for DNA and clone us, so whenever one of my socks went missing she freaked out. After that, I started wearing mismatched socks all the time so that that way she would never notice which of the pairs were missing since I never wore them that way anyway.”

She smiled the whole time he talked, absolutely in love with him. He was her everything. “So that’s why I’ve got so many random socks around my house.”

“It’s worse at my apartment,” he smiled again. “Your turn.”

“The first time I ever rode a bike without training wheels was because I stole my neighbour's bike and took off with it down the road,” she laughed.

“Why?”

“I think my mom said I couldn’t take my own training wheels off yet, so I took matters into my own hands.”

“See?” He shook his head lightly. “Badass.”

“When was the last time you were in Vegas?” She asked.

“Earlier this year when we reopened the Riley Jenkins case,” he said softly.

“oh, my mom was telling me about that one! Your mom went off her meds to help remember if your dad was involved right?” Y/N recalled.

He nodded, “do you know what really happened?”

“I have the gist, Lou killed Gary in revenge for Riley.”

“That's not all of it,” he said lightly. “Gary was watching me, and my mom told Lou that the way he looked at me, he might have been the one who hurt Riley. And then she witnessed Lou kill Gary.”

“Holy shit Spence, I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “Did you know Gary was my neighbour?” ,

“No?”

“Yeah we were 4, my brother was 2 and my mom was pregnant again, and Gary kept taking photos of my brother through the fence. My dad threatened to kill him a few times and then we finally moved across town,” she explained.

“How is it that our lives were so intertwined, and yet it took 20 years for us to actually connect again?” He asked.

“The same thing happened to my parents.”

“What’s their story?” He asked.

She moved around the table to sit closer to him, taking his hand in hers. “My dad is 8 years older than my mom, they met when she was 17 and he was 26 and they became good friends like he was her older brother. They realized years later that my dad delivered newspapers to the town my mom lived in, and he saw her basically grow up playing in the yard. Then his best friend always invited him to his cabin and when he finally went, the lot across from them was my mom's family cabin. They were always so close but never knew each other till they were meant to. And now they’ve been happily married for 30 years.”

“There's an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other,” Spencer explained.

“It took 500 years of coincidences to bring us together,” she said softly. “Which kinda makes the 20 years of admiring you from afar not seem so long.”

“From here on out let’s make every moment count then,” Spencer suggested, “we’ve been barely dating for 3 weeks I’m not going to ask you to marry me right this instant, but I do intend to spend the rest of my life with you in whatever capacity I can. Because I think you’re it for me.”

She could bask in the feeling of her heart fluttering like this for the rest of her life, it was like butterflies but completely calm. True happiness at its finest.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said softly, “in 1 year we come back here, and if we feel the exact same way as we do right now, you can propose to me.”

He put his pinky out for her, she wrapped hers around his, before kissing each other's knuckles. “Promise.” Spencer and Y/N said at the same time.

—

Back in the hotel room, she didn’t even bat an eyelash before slamming Spencer against the door. She slid her thigh between both his legs and boxed him in.

She undid the single button of his suit jacket, shushing Spencer. She pushed it off his arms, knocking it to the floor. She loosened his tie, tossing it to the side, still around his neck, while she unbuttoned his shirt.

He was completely silent and still. She was in control.

She tossed his shirt to the ground next. Holding onto his tie as she pulled him down into a heated kiss.

“Take my dress off,” she breathed into his mouth, feeling his hands reach around her back for the zipper.

He pushed the sleeves down her arms, watching the dress gather at her ankles before she stepped out and kicked the fabric out of the way. She tugged him by his tie towards the bed.

“Strip,” she instructed him. “Not the tie.”

“Underwear too?” He asked as she dug through his suitcase.

“yes.”

She returned with 2 more ties. Looking at him, butt naked on the bed. She stepped out of her underwear and the uncomfortable strapless bra. She set her gun in the hotel safe with her badge and returned to the bed.

“Would you be willing to try something?” She asked.

“anything,” he said, overly eager.

“Would you tie my hands to the bedpost and blindfold me and just do whatever you want?”

“Hold on,” he got off the bed and opened his go-bag side pocket. “I have a blindfold for the plane.”

“So you want to?”

Actions speak louder than words, he would always say.

He dimmed the lights down, got on the bed and roughly picked her up laying her back against the pillows. He tied her left hand first, and then her right hand. He took a hair elastic off the bedside table and put her hair back as best he could before he rested the blindfold against her forehead.

He hovered over her. “Anything I want?” Spencer confirmed.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Ground rules?”

“Yellow for slow down, red for stop?” She shrugged.

“You really mean anything?”

“I trust you, Spencer Reid, make me feel good,” she smiled.

He kissed her on the nose before coving her eyes with the blindfold.

She had always wanted to try this, it was a kink she had always been determined to try. She took a deep breath and tried her best to listen to him as he moved to sit between her spread legs.

He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips before following the curve to her waist. He gripped her waist tightly and leaned forward, pressing his mouth to her stomach, breathing her in as he kissed.

She wasn’t embarrassed about her tummy, for the first time in her life she loved her body. She felt him kiss all over her chest, dragging his bottom lip along her skin. He licked a stripe between her breasts, dropping his chin to her chest then to blow lightly over the wet trail.

She felt her nipples harden, she could physically hear the smirk that spread across his face.

He sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, cupping her breasts with his hands as he groped her lightly. She squirmed, trying her best to grind her hips against his.

He pushed her hips against the bed, “be patient.”

He disappeared then. She felt his weight shift and get off the bed. She let out a deep breath, knowing she told him he could do anything and that included punishing her. She literally asked for it.

“I picked something up after you dropped me off,” she heard him say from the other side of the room.

He walked around for a minute, taking something out of a hard plastic container. He struggled with ripping it, she heard papers fall the floor and something hard hit the floor. “Shit.”

She heard him walk towards the bathroom, she crossed her ankles and just waited.

He came back to the bed, moving her legs apart like they were when he left. “stay.”

He crawled between her legs once more, his hand brushed her thigh and it was cold and wet like he washed his hands.

“Can I touch you?” He asked softly. She nodded her head feverishly.

She heard a small buzzing, an all too failure sound. The first place she feels the vibration is in her belly button. Causing her to let out a shocked little giggle.

“Shhh,” he smiled.

He dragged the little bullet vibrator down her stomach, over her pelvis and finally, finally, against her clit. She let out a moan that sounded more like a sigh of relief.

All she wanted was for someone else to control her pleasure, surprise her, set the rhythm, the speed, everything. She spent so long pleasuring herself, she was so ready to sit back and just take it.

Spencer felt the same. He took his time, feeling every inch of her skin, kissing every single place he wanted to. He spent so much time just looking. Finding freckles and scars and kissing them. He was mesmerized by the fact she was real, that a beautiful woman would lay down in front of him, spread open like this and just let him explore. It felt like the best wet dream his brain could ever conjure.

She could feel him getting closer to her. His weight shifted and she felt his breath on her leg. She took a deep breath, sucking in her stomach in the anticipation of feeling a tongue on her for the first time ever.

He turned off the vibrator. Setting it to the side as he looped his arms around her thighs. Just admiring the view. Just then her whole body shivered as she anticipated the heat of his tongue.

He pressed a kiss to her clit first before flattening his tongue against her. “Sweet fucking Jesus Christ,” she gasped.

“I’ve never done this before,” he breathed against her.

“Explore away, sir,” she whispered.

He clearly did research, if he didn’t just say this was his first time eating someone out, she would think he was an expert. She regretted having her hands tied up at that moment. She squirmed, he held her hips down. She gripped the ties around her wrists wishing it was Spencer's hair.

She was never big into overstimulation or denial, never having the willpower to keep going after making herself cum once. Spencer, however, had the ability to bring her to the edge again and again without ever letting her spillover.

She didn’t beg, she didn’t complain, she sat there in the blissful feeling and waited. It was heavenly.

“Spence,” her breathing was heavy.

He hummed, letting her know he was listening. His tongue still wiggling back and forth on her clit.

“Can you please just fuck me now?”

He kissed his way back to her mouth. All up her stomach, over her breasts, her neck and jaw. She could taste herself on his lips, “untie me?” She asked softly.

He let one hand free, which she immediately used to grip his hair. The second hand was freed and she pushed the blindfold up and worked her way into a sitting position while he kneeled in front of her.

“Anything else you want to try?” She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking into his eyes once again. She pushed his hair out of his face and just looked at him.

“Lie back and roll over,” he instructed.

He pulled her into a face-down, ass-up position and aligned himself with her. Pushing in little by little till he bottomed out. He reached around the bed for the vibrator and placed it in her one hand.

“You decide when you cum,” was all he said before he started fucking her.

She white-knuckled the pillow as he rammed into her, she was arched in the most perfect way for him to hit her g spot every time he rammed into her.

“My hair,” she gasped, wanting him to grab her by her ponytail as he fucked her.

With one hand on her hip to steady her and the other in her hair, he fucked into her like his life depended on it. Her legs were quaking, she felt like she was going to explode if she didn’t cum soon.

She flicked on the vibrator and pressed it against her own clit, feeling the familiar heat bubble in her stomach. “Fuck me, oh god,” she chanted.

Cuming with a shout, she dug her face into the pillow and all but screamed. Pushing back against Spencer as he bucked into her one last time and erupted inside of her.

His hips shook as he emptied his load before slowly pulling out and dropping down beside her.

She turned her head to look at him, eyeliner and mascara all smudged around her eyes, makeup all over the pillow. She was trying her hardest to catch her breath, staring at him with a smile on her face.

“If sex was an Olympic sport, I think we’d win,” she complimented him.

“you think?” He asked, his breath just as shaky as hers.

She rolled onto her back, letting him cuddle into her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “Everyone told me that the first time I have sex it’ll be underwhelming and uneventful, and yet every time we fuck I feel like I’ve run a marathon and I should invest in a wheelchair.”

He laughed, “would you put that in writing and send it to everyone from our high school?”

She smacked his arm. “and then I’d have to swat women off you with a bat if I wanted any alone time, you’re mine now.” She wrapped her whole body around him and held him there.

“I love you,” Spencer smiled.

“I love you, more.”

chapter 5

They packed everything into their car just to go to her parents house. There was something in Y/N’s gut that told her there was a case coming.

Her parents lived 30 minutes out of the city, on the edge of a cul-de-sac that faced a park. They had lived there since she was 5, it was her mom’s dream home. It was the only place in the town she had good memories in.

Y/N’s mother brought Diana home with her after work. They were waiting in the kitchen for Spencer and Y/N when they arrived. Tonights guests included not just them but Y/N’s youngest brother Levi, his wife Lizzie and their 2 year-old Chloe.

“There’s my girl!” Her dad cheered, standing up and rushing to give her a real hug. “Did you get taller?”

“it’s the boots,” she laughed, holding onto him tightly.

“You look great! The FBI is treating you well,” her dad was always one to compliment her. He pulled back and looked at Spencer. More like glared at him.

“Nice to meet you Sir, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid,” he said, shockingly extending his hand to shake her father's.

The profiler in her knew he was breaking his comfort zone to appease her baby boomer, ex-cop, father.

Her dad always did this thing when he met new men where he squeezed their hands to see how much they could take. “Harrison Y/L/N Sr.” She watched Spencers hand shake as he squeezed right back.

“Strong shake.” Her father complimented him. “She must have warned you.”

“No, he just knows how to read people,” Y/N laughed.

“Well come sit down Doctor Spencer Reid,” he teased him. “Let me interrogate the profiler.”

“Here we go,” Y/N laughed, placing a hand on Spencer's back as she led him into the kitchen.

They sat down together, Spencers mom, Diana, just across from him at the table. They smiled and nodded at each other in a quiet little hello.

“I would ask you to tell me a bit about yourself, but Y/N has kept me all caught up with you over the years,” her dad said. “You went to CalTech at 13, somewhere in there you got a degree from MIT, she idolized you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she blushed.

“It’s very flattering, but if anything I’m now huge fan of her’s. In the last 3 weeks she has been the one to find the major break in 3 of our cases. She is amazing at what she does, you raised an incredible woman,” Spencer replied, praising her in a way that made her heart flutter.

“Go on then, tell us about these cases then,” her dad asked.

And with that they got lost in all things horrific. Spencer explained, verbatim, how each case went down and exactly what Y/N came up with to solve them. She answered little questions here and there but mostly it was Spencer showing off how much he loved his girlfriend.

Her mom passed out dinner plates in the middle of the talk, some how all of them were able to discuss cases and eat at the same time. Her mom made burgers and potato salad for dinner, just something simple for them all.

“Did you really offer to fuck a serial killer?” Her brother asked, disgusted.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I knew in his sick twisted mind he wouldn’t be able to refuse a woman willing to let him do what he wanted and as soon as the weapon was down, so was he.”

“I always told you she’d be able to kick your ass, Levi,” her dad said. “Ever since she was a kid I knew she had it in her to wrestle someone to the ground.”

“Yeah, Spence didn’t believe me that I’m combat trained.”

“No,” Spencer interjected, “It’s not that I didn’t believe you, I just didn’t ever think you’d be able to take me down.”

“And did you?” Her mom asked.

Her face turned bright red. “Yeah, I showed one of my combat maneuvers on him, we were all horsing around and I showed them how to go from being pinned to the ground to being the one on top.”

“How?” Her brother’s wife asked.

“Yeah demonstrate!” Her mom innocently cheered them on not knowing she was mid sex with him when she showed him how to do it.

“Um okay, Lizzie come with me,” she said, saving Spencer the awkwardness of having to straddle her in the middle of her family home.

She laid down on the floor, “you basically have to just pin me down how ever you see fit.”

Lizzie, sat on her, holding her shoulders down with one forearm. Y/N, quickly flipped her onto her back, making sure to catch her head as she did so. Not wanting her to smack it off the hardwood floor.

“Like that,” Y/N stood up and helped Lizzie to her feet. “Made sure all the girls knew how to do that.” She lied.

“As you should!” Her dad cheered, “nice to know your team all has each others backs.”

“How do they all feel about you two?” Diana asked. She had been mostly quiet all night, just enjoying time outside of where she was used to.

“They love it, they’ve been placing bets about us,” Y/N laughed.

“Like what?” Her dad asked.

“If he would kiss me first, if we’d tell the team ever, they even had one about who is most likely to say I love you first, they’re insufferable,” Y/N ranted.

“So what team one?” Her brother teased, just trying the embarrass her.

“He kissed me first, he told the team that we were together after like 10 hours and he was the first to say I love you,” Y/N blushed.

“Does she still have the I love you problem?” Her mom asked innocently but received a death glare from Y/N.

“Uh no, she says it to me too.” Spencer noticed the awkwardness.

“Any plans for baby number two?” Y/N asked Levi, changing the subject faster than ever.

She’d be lying if she said she was listening to the answer, her ears were ringing and all she cold focus on was Spencer’s hand on her back. Her mom was about to pass out cake when she excused herself to the bathroom, and ended up in her old bedroom.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, hearing the words her mother said over and over in her mind. “Does she still have the I love you problem?”

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and just breathed. She didn’t want him to know about that yet.

Spencer knocked on her door, opening it softly and peaking his head in. “Do you want company?”

She nodded.

He kneeled down on the floor in front of her, running his hands along her thighs. “Are you okay?”

“I told you about Christopher?” She said softly.

“yes.”

“In order to get me to do what he did, he would always say I had to because he loved me,” she explained. A tear dripped down her cheek and landed on his hand. “And so for 7 years after I never told anyone I knew that I loved them.”

“That’s okay, you went through trauma. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he soothed her.

“I want to though because, before you, I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand love, I thought it was weird and forceful and something dependent on coercion,” her voice was so tiny, she didn’t want anyone else hearing her. “Loving you is light and fluffy and special and safe, I didn’t want you to think just now that I said it this weekend to get it over with or something because I truly do love you.

He pulled her into a kiss, “I love you, more.”

She laughed, “we’ll see about that.”

—

Y/N and Diana were doing the dishes as her mom packed the leftover food into Tupperware containers. Debbie was just about to ask who wanted coffee when Y/N’s phone started to ring.

She sighed, drying her hands on a dishtowel before answering the phone. “SSA Y/N Y/L/N.”

“There’s been an explosion at a mall in Los Angeles and reports of 4 more planned, how fast can you and Reid get to LA?” Hotch asked.

“Um, we’re about 45 minutes from the airport.”

“We’re 4 hours out, we want you and Reid there ASAP. Is there any way we could send a helicopter to get you?”

“Yes, there’s a soccer field across the street from my parent's house, Garcia knows the address she can direct them where to go, we’ll be ready.”

“Debrief has already been sent to your phones, I need you and Reid to go to the LA field office and start communication with Garcia on victimology.”

“Got it.” She said as she hung up. “Spence we have to go!”

“What’s wrong?” Diana asked.

“We have an emergency in LA, they need us there immediately. There’s a helicopter coming to get us,” Y/N explained as she walked around the room towards her go-bag.

She unzipped it, unfolding her bullet-proof vest and putting it on. She adjusted her gun and made sure she had everything she needed. Spencer did the same at the table beside her.

“You are a badass,” her dad complimented her, filming her getting her gear on. “This is my daughter! FBI superhero! Kickass tonight kid!” He had an affinity for embarrassing her, but an even bigger obsession with showing her off.

He was like that with all of his children, first with her brother Harrison in the army, then with her other brother Levi and his swat training. Now his daughter was catching serial killers like it was nothing.

“Okay, we gotta go, the helicopter will be landing in that field in 3 minutes. Dad are you okay to take the car back to the dealership if this takes a while? We will be back for our suitcases after the case, I love you guys.” She said. handing her father the car keys and moving to put her shoes on.

“Got everything?” Spencer asked.

“Yep,” she smiled.

They walked out the door and across the street. Most of the neighbourhood watched a helicopter land in the soccer field as the sun was setting. They ducked as they ran getting in the chopper and strapping in.

“Agent Valdez, Nevada PD!” the officer in the pilot seat introduced herself. “We have just over an hour till we land, use the headsets to communicate with me if you need to!”

And they were off. She looked down to see her family waving up at them from their houses as the neighbours she grew up around took photos and videos of them leaving.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked.

Y/N took out her phone and read over the debrief, “tonight at The Grove in Los Angeles, a small bomb went off killing 6 people and injuring 31.”

“Where did it go off?” Reid asked.

“Inside a small dress store that has been renting the space for the last 7 years,” Y/N confirmed. “I’m sure Garcia is looking into everyone who was injured or killed as well as the current and former employees.”

“It says here that the person who called 911 before the bomb went off warned of 3 bombs to come. Saying; ‘4 bombs in total the first in clear, the next is where her checks would clear.’” Reid read from the phone.

“So we need to find a connection between the dress store and a bank in the area,” Y/N said. “We need to go over that call more, have Garcia look into every aspect of the sound.”

“Where did Hotch say he wants us?” Reid asked.

“At the LA field office, he wants us working behind the scenes in correspondence with Garcia.”

Spencer sighed, “well, our weekend was fun while it lasted.

9:42pm PST

By the time the rest of the team landed and Hotch and JJ arrived at the field office, another 2 bombs had gone off at a Liberty Bank downtown LA.

“Garcia, do we have any connection from the dress shop to the bank yet?” Hotch asked.

“Nothing Sir, I have dug and dug and there isn’t a single person with a connection to both the bank and the dress shop within the last few months, I'm widening back 2-5 years but still nothing,” Garcia panicked over the phone.

“Is there any possibility our unsub is female? This to me feels like a scorned lover, maybe her husband is paying someone under the table who is cashing checks at that exact ATM that exploded and then went and bought a dress,” Y/N suggests.

“Garcia run with that as far as you can and call us back,” Hotch ordered.

“On it!” She cheered before hanging up.

Spencer looked around at all the info he and Y/N brainstormed while waiting for the team. “a female unsub would make the most sense.”

“Did we get any more clues for where the next bomb will be?” JJ asked.

Agent Cunningham from the LA field office shook his head, “nothing at the scene or over 911, we’re on the lookout for any suspicious calls and tips currently.”

“If you were cheating on your wife, after going to the bank and the dress shop where does she go with you next?” Y/N asked Hotch.

“Uh,” he shook his head, clearly faithful to his wife. “Dinner and a hotel?”

“So those are possibly the next two targets,” Y/N said, “but finding out what restaurant and hotel in the entirety of LA is like finding a needle in a needle stack.”

“I hate to say it,” JJ sighed, “but we might need one more explosion before we get a breakthrough.”

“All we can do is hope for minimal damage,” Y/N shot a soft smile over to her, “till then, what kind of woman in the area could make the type of bombs that are being used?”

“Almost anyone,” Morgan said as he walked into the room. “I was just looking at the debris and shrapnel, it’s a fairly simple bomb that anyone with basic knowledge or internet access could make.”

Hotch called Garcia once more. “Can you start a search for women 35-55 who are married, ask the NSA if we can search through any women in the LA area googling how to make bombs in the last month.”

“Of course, I’ve also been looking at the past transactions of the specific ATMs that were targeted, 13 of the people depositing cash and cheques there, recently bought dresses from the store at The Grove.”

“Any of them look like they are partaking in an affair?” Y/N asked.

“2 of them are lesbian women, 3 are drag queens and the other 8 are girls in high school depositing birthday money,” Garcia explained.

“Well thanks for looking, hopefully, the NSA has some hits for us,” Hotch said as he hung up. “I guess we wait.”

11:56pm

“We’ve got reports of an explosion in an all-female dorm at UCLA,” one of the LA agents said as he burst through the door.

“Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi,” Hotch said, “go to the scene and find out everything.”

Y/N called Garcia, “as soon as we know what room the explosion was in I need you to go back 10 years of women who lived in that dorm room and their connections to older men. Sugar daddies, teachers, anyone.”

“The 911 call shortly after the bomb say it was heard on the first floor, possibly room 119 as that's where the blast was heard. Luckily the girl who was supposed to be in that room was with her friend down the hall so we currently have no casualties here,” Garcia explained.

“Thank god,” JJ exclaimed, placing her hand over her eyes.

“In the last 10 years, 6 different women have all had that room,” Garcia said as she narrowed down her search. “Okay, here we go this is the juicy stuff!”

“What is it?” Hotch asked.

“From 2000 to 2002 Maggie Burton was working on a science degree at UCLA. She was working part-time, both years, as the main Chemistry professor's teaching assistant, she was depositing money from him bi-weekly to Liberty Bank.”

“Okay, who was the professor?” Spencer asked.

“Michael Thompson, 56, but that would be too simple now wouldn’t it?” Penelope teased. “Thompson is gay and has been in a domestic partnership since 1998, his Partner Adam Pearson, however, is bisexual according to the sugar daddy website he’s on,” she explained further. “Whether Maggie knows it or not, she had been getting paid to be Thompson's TA, as well as his boyfriend sugar baby.”

“So our unsub is Michael Thompson?” Hotch confirmed.

“By the looks of it, yes. Maggie stopped being a TA when she graduated and now she works with a cosmetics developer downtown. Every week she deposits 500 cash to the ATM, which is the exact amount of cash Adam has been withdrawing for the last 7 years,” she kept explaining, they could hear her keyboard clicking as she kept digging. “Look’s like Adam is filing to remove the domestic partnership and he bought a ring last week.”

“There’s the trigger,” Spencer confirmed. “Do we have a home and work address as well as where the next bomb would be?”

“Adam checked into a Hilton hotel downtown, suite 613 which he has been booking once a month for the last 7 years,” Garcia confirmed. “Sending the locations now.”

“I need a bomb squad sent to the Hilton hotel, evacuations should be done floor by floor saving floor 6 for last, I need agents on floor 6 to evacuate all rooms, except for 613, quietly without making a scene.”

“Sir, suit 612 was booked only for tonight by Michael Thompson, using cash,” Garcia cut him off.

“All rooms but 612 and 613 are to be evacuated, I need a direct line on the scene to room 612 when we arrive,” Hotch ordered as they all hurried towards the elevator.

—

On the scene, Reid, Y/L/N and JJ were sent up with the bomb squad to floor 6. Red lights in the stairwell were flashing to alert that there was an evacuation taking place, but the building was silent.

There were 14 rooms on floor 6, 4 of them being rented that night. Rooms 601 and 608 were the only two they had to focus on to evacuate.

JJ quietly knocked on room 601, “Hi sir,” she whispered. “My name is Jennifer, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing your necessities and any other guests in the room, an officer will escort you down the stairs. In the parking lot across the street, there are people issuing refunds and information about relocations for the night.”

The man nodded, he quickly grabbed his things and followed an officer down the hall.

Y/N knocked on 608 next, a young woman answered. “Hi, my name is Y/N, I’m with the FBI. We need to quietly evacuate this floor-“

“I have 2 kids with me,” she whispered.

“Okay, are they awake?” JJ asked.

“My daughter, she’s 2, she’s out cold. My son is watching TV, oh my god my husband isn’t here,” she quietly panicked.

“Ma’am it’s fine, we have officers here to assist you down the stairs and across the street, there are relocation preparations being made. If you don’t mind, I can help you carry your daughter down the stairs?” Spencer said softly.

“Yes, absolutely.” She said, running into the room to gather all her things.

Spencer lifted the little girl up softly, not waking her at all in the process. He held her against his chest softly while the mother grabbed their necessities and her 6-year-old son before followed Spencer down the stairs.

JJ and Y/N stood in the stairwell, Y/N picked up her radio and called down to Hotch. “All civilians on the 6th floor have been evacuated.”

“Any movement in 612?”

“Yes sir,” one of the bomb squad members said. “With our tech, we can see 2 bodies in 613 and 1 in 612, all alive.”

“Any idea how many bombs were talking about?” Hotch asked.

“Not yet, we need a clear look inside the room. Snipers on the building across the street say the blinds are closed,” he explained.

“Hotch, have you gotten in contact with him at all?” JJ asked.

“No, he won't pick up,” hotch confirmed.

“Would you like one of us to knock?” Y/N asked.

“Not yet, I want you both to come down. If we’re knocking on his door we need to have a full plan in place,” Hotch ordered.

“Over,” Y/N said. Following JJ back down the 6 flights of stairs.

Down at the base of operations, Spencer was still holding onto the 2-year-old as the mother called her husband. He shushed her and held her close with a blanket over her back as she slept.

“Hotch,” JJ got his attention. “I noticed each room has vents on the connected walls, is there any way to get into 611 and snake in a camera to see what we’re dealing with?”

“That was my next suggestion,” a SWAT office said as he shook her hand. “We’re prepping the equipment now.”

“Can we also spray a sleeping agent through the vents? If we knock out the unsub we can just drag him out and see what’s going on?” Y/N suggested.

“Yeah that would work,” the SWAT officer said, “we have a sleeping agent in a compressed gas form that we can spray through the vents.”

“Okay, just in 612,” Hotch confirmed. Y/N I want you and Morgan up there to assist in making sure Maggie and Adam are evacuated safely while the bomb squad looks at what we have going on.”

“On it,” she and Morgan said at the same time.

One of the SWAT officers pulled them aside, handing them protective gear for the gas that will erupt into the hallway. She waved to Spencer in the lot as she headed across the street with the SWAT team. They ran up the stairs, it was exhausting but Y/N pushed through, up the six flights. They quietly unlocked room 611 and filled the room with officers.

First, they snaked a small camera through the vent, the image showing on the screen right away, “you seeing this Hotch?” Morgan asked over the radio.

“Crystal.”

“It’s a wall of C4,” one of the Bomb Squad officers quietly confirmed. “Fairly simple to dismantle, it looks like it’s a manual switch. Wait till he crosses the room, and then spray the gas. We need officers to be in the room as it’s sprayed. He needs to hit the floor nowhere close to the detonator.”

Morgan quietly opened the door and assembled the team in the hall, making movements with his hands as he instructed the men. The door kicker was in place, the officers were ready to file in.

The swat agent deployed the gas, they watched on the monitor as the unsub turned to look at the hissing sound, inspecting it before hitting the ground.

“NOW!” Morgan yelled. The door was knocked in and the unsub was in handcuffs.

Y/N ran to 613, knocking on the door as hard as she could. “FBI OPEN UP!” She yelled.

A half-naked man opened the door, “what?” He yelled.

“We need to evacuate the building right now, cover-up and follow me.” She ordered as the two victims covered themselves and followed her down the stairs.

Halfway down, she got a call over the radio. “Bomb has been defused, all clear on floor 6.”

“Bomb?” The man questioned.

“Yes sir,” Y/N confirmed. “your partner, and your science teacher, Michael Thompson, has been bombing places around the city that you two have been to, and was planning to blow you up tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Maggie asked.

“He’s under arrest, you’ll have your chance to ask him questions in court,” Y/N confirmed as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

She held the door for them and watched as they were whisked away by EMTs. She waited for another set for the unsub before turning around and running all the way back up the 6 flights to Morgan.

Morgan was standing over the cuffed, unconscious, unsub in the hallway. “Good job pretty girl!” Morgan high-fived her.

“Thanks,” she smiled, “let's get this bastard down into the ambulance. The elevators should go back up in a minute.”

“What? No more stairs?” Morgan teased.

“I might not be able to feel my legs tomorrow, I’ve been up and down those too many times tonight!” She smacked him.

“Sure that’s why,” he laughed as they waited for the elevator.

—

Spencer and Y/N packed up that night and took a short trip back to Los Vegas. By the time they arrived back on her parent's doorstep it was 5:32 am. 12 hours since they were last there.

She sighed at the front door and called her parent's home phone. “Hello?” Her father's sleep-ridden voice answered.

“Hey dad, it’s Y/N can you come open the front door for me? Please.” She asked nicely.

“Yep.” He hung up.

She watched the hall light come on from the front door. Waiting for him to slowly make his way down the stairs to the front hallway. He unlocked the door and welcomed them in.

“Your mom cleaned off your bed in case this happened,” he whispered, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“5:30, go back up to bed, we’ll lock back up, thank you,” she hugged him and sent him on his way.

She sighed and sunk down to sit on the bottom step. She tugged her boots off and left them in the hallway. Spencer picked them up and moved them to be in order with the rest of the shoes. He locked her parent's front door and turned off the entryway light.

“You need water or anything before bed?” Y/N asked.

“No, come on,” he took her hand and walked with up the stairs to her bedroom.

She closed the door behind him, peeling out of her clothes and climbing into bed first. She got under the covers and moved the pillows around to make sure they were how she liked them.

Spencer crawled in beside her, wearing just his socks and underwear. He laid flat on his back while she cuddled into his side. He kissed the top of her head and let out a deep breath as he settled into relaxation finally.

“I love you,” she reminded him.

“I love you, more.”

[myownworstenemyyy]

can I request “I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…that wasn’t true.” with javi :)

edit: this is Part 1 of the Crystal Clear series

feeling angsty, are we, nonny? 😏 i was so excited to write this one! I hope you like it and mayhaps a part 2 is in the works 😉💕💜💜

prompt from this list: “I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…that wasn’t true.”

word count: 1.7k (gif by @bestintheparsec)

warnings: swearing (obvi) ; cheating on someone ? kinda briefly ? (idk man)

masterlist | also, this fic was heavily inspired by the song Crystal Clear from the beautiful Hayley Williams 🥰

AO3 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“I wanna make it crystal clear that I won't give in to the fear.”

The Texas heat is always unforgiving this time of year. But your garden was starting to look horrendous, so you had decided to just suck it up and get some yard work done. Now, as you kneel in the dirt, your gloved hands deep in the soil and back aching from bending over for so long, you think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. 

The sound of rocks shifting under heavy footsteps has you looking over your shoulder to see a figure approaching. You raise your hand to shield your eyes from the sun shining so brightly behind the stranger, their silhouette being the only thing you can make out. “Can I help you?” you say in a polite, yet cautious voice. 

Your heart nearly stops when an all-too-familiar baritone replies, “Hola, bonita,” as he stops a few feet in front of you - well, technically behind you. Slowly rising to your feet, your eyes fully adjust to the sunlight as you take in the sight of the first man you ever fell in love with. Javier.

He mostly looks the same, save for the slight tan of his skin, along with a few worry lines and wrinkles that have formed over the years since he-

Since he left you.

“Javier,” you state, your voice betraying you when it cracks on the last syllable. What is he doing here? When did he - come back?  

The silence drags on as the two of you study each other, though his expression is much softer than your confused one. “What are you doing here?” you ask at the same time he says, “You look good.” He chuckles, the sound making your stomach flip as your cheeks flush. 

That laugh - god, it’s been so long since you’ve heard it, the last time being the night before he left for Columbia to aid in the capture of Pablo Escobar. Though at the time, you didn’t actually know it would be the last time you’d see him for years to come. You didn’t learn that bit of information until the next morning when you woke up to find a letter in your mailbox - a short apology for his sudden departure. 

But you’d suspected it was more like “fleeing,” especially after you’d told him how you truly felt about him just the night before. Though you suppose you should’ve known better - Javier Peña never was a man who could be committed to one woman for longer than a few nights. Even if that woman was you - his best friend since elementary school. 

Lost in reminiscent thoughts of the two of you together, you don’t notice Javier taking a couple steps closer to where you’re standing. “I just got back a couple days ago and...I needed to see you,” he looks away for a moment, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Well, at least he has the decency to look ashamed.

“OK, you’ve seen me. Now you can go,” you turn around and head towards the front door to your house, leaving your garden a half-done mess. You’ve just reached the first step of the porch when he reaches for your wrist, “Wait - I...I’m sorry, for leaving.”

Releasing a weary sigh, you turn and face him again, his eyes filled with sincerity and something akin to desperation. Your heart instinctively aches to comfort him, but you know that’s not your place - not anymore. “Why?” you ask quietly and the regret lining his features tells you he knows you’re not just referring to why he’s sorry, but why he actually left in the first place without so much as a good-bye. Because you both know you didn’t deserve to find out he was leaving from some piece of paper left on your fucking doorstep.

“I didn’t know how to tell you - that I was assigned to the unit in Columbia. And I couldn’t face you - not after everything you’d said...about-”

“I remember,” you cut him off, tears burning at the corners of your eyes. You bite your bottom lip as it threatens to quiver, the emotions you’ve been suppressing for so long rising to the surface. “You broke my fucking heart, Javi,” your voice breaks, barely above a whisper, as a tear glides down your cheek.

“I know,” he admits in a voice just as softly as he closes his eyes for a moment, releasing a shaky breath, “God, I know, bonita. I - I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided…” he takes a deep breath, sliding his hand down your wrist and holding your right hand in both of his, “but...that wasn’t true,” he confesses, his words landing like a punch to the gut.

Your breath hitches when you finally process what he’s said, the meaning behind his words gripping your heart like a vise. He...feels the same way? 

His dark eyes search yours, pleading for you to understand - for you to forgive him. But you’ve fallen speechless as you try to think of a response, barely able to voice a weak, “W-what?” 

As you remain in a state of shock, Javi reaches for your other hand, coming to stand in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Bonita, I-” he starts but then his brow furrows as he looks down at your left hand, his fingers feeling for something under your gardening glove. 

The look of realization on his face is what finally snaps you out of your trance-like state. You swallow hard as you remove the glove from your left hand, bringing it up closer to eye level to show him-

“I’m engaged,” you croak out, your words laced with regret, and you quickly push away every thought rushing to the forefront of your mind. You refuse to acknowledge any bit of reasoning as to why your heart is breaking from sharing the news of your engagement with the man who basically just confessed his love for you.

“Oh,” he swallows hard, his gaze fixated on the simple diamond that suddenly feels like it’s cutting off circulation to your finger. His grip loosens as he releases your hands, wiping his own hand down his face as he turns away, muttering, “Of course you are - soy más pendejo,” he trails off, his back facing you.

You're frozen at the bottom of the porch, clutching your gardening glove to the point of making your knuckles ache. His hands rest on his hips, his head dropping for a moment as he takes one, two, three breaths before turning to face you once more. 

Your heart begins to race as he watches you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Though, the sadness in his eyes is impossible to miss. 

Clenching his jaw, he nods his head once like he’s come to some kind of decision. “Felicidades, bonita. I hope your prometido knows how lucky he is,” he offers a tight-lipped smile before turning on his heel and walking away. It takes a minute for your legs to finally spring into action as you stumble after him, “Javi, wait!” you drop the glove on the ground, no longer caring about the mess in your front yard.

He skids to a stop but remains facing forward, his shoulders tense. Walking around his brooding figure, you face him head-on, “It’s been years since I’ve even heard from you, Javi - you can’t just-” you shake your head incredulously, all the hurt and confusion from his abandonment manifesting itself as anger, “you don’t get to do this to me. You don’t just get to leave, come back and say you have feelings for me - and then fucking leave again!” 

Your chest rises and falls with the same fierce intensity coating your words, but you refuse to back down, “Why did you even come here if you were just gonna leave the minute I rejected you? I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do after you left? Sit around and sulk because my best friend - the man I love - decided to take a job in Columbia, and didn’t even say good-bye?!” 

Your hands fly to your hair in frustration as you start to pace up and down the sidewalk, angry tears welling in your eyes. No, I’m not crying over him again - I did enough of that when he left. But the memory of you sitting on the hardwood floor in your living room, clutching his letter to your chest as you sobbed for hours, has fresh tears spilling onto your cheeks.

“‘Love’, not… ‘loved’?” he asks carefully as he watches you closely, holding his breath while you wipe your face clean with the front of your shirt. You look at him with a furrowed brow, “What?” The adrenaline from your outburst is quickly fading, exhaustion taking its place.

After a beat, you meet his eyes, which are swimming with emotion as he elaborates, “You said ‘the man I love’... not ‘the man I loved.” His face gives nothing away, but you're taken aback when you see an echo of something in his eyes - hope.

You slowly shake your head, “Javi-” but he cuts you off with a desperate plea.

“Please, just-” he takes a step toward you, his hands reaching out to lightly grip your arms, “tell me - tell me you feel nothing for me anymore and I'll leave you alone...for good.” And from the pained look plaguing his features, you know he’ll keep that promise - he'll walk out of your life, taking all the pain and sorrow he’s caused you along with him.

You grip his forearm with a shaky hand, holding onto him like he’s the only thing anchoring you to this moment. Your lip trembles and his brow furrows deeper in concern as your breathing picks up, your entire being overwhelmed by the emotions boiling over within you.

“I...can't,” you breathe out, looking into his dark eyes as you bring your hands to his face, your fingers hesitantly stroking his cheek. His chest is rising and falling to the same tempo as yours, his lips slightly parted as you trace your fingers over his bottom lip, mesmerized by the curve and slight pout that permanently lives there.

“Bonita-” but it's your turn to interrupt him, only this time it's not with words. You cradle his face in your hands and push up on the tips of your toes until your lips meet his - and the rest of the world fades away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translations:

bonita - pretty / beautiful

soy más pendejo  - I'm the biggest dumbass 😂

Felicidades - Congratulations

prometido - fiance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag list: (let me know if you wanna be added/removed)

@spacegayofficial @themandjalorian @hiscyarika @mandoispunk @madadlorian @pedrolorians @forever-rogue @longitud-de-onda @certifiedskywalker @dindjarindiaries @no-droids-allowed @aerynwrites @buckyodinson @lannister-slings-and-arrows @gooddaykate @fanfiction-trashpile @arrowswithwifi @letaliabane @thinemineours @ham4arrow @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @thisainttheway @bluemoon-glen @katialvi  @bestintheparsec @24kgolden @livasaurasrex @c-ly-g @triggerhappyflyboyy @fangirl-and-stuff @mrsparknuts @and-i-swear-we-are-infinte @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @kimljn @kristalhi @fatbottomedcurls @auty-ren @mabelleen @rzrcrst @pascalisthepunkest @blushingwueen @lovingtheway @beskars @mandoandyodito @roxypeanut @rosamedina92 @sinnamon-bun @ct-arc-5555 @keeper0fthestars @poe-pascal @spacemacandcheese @destucky45 @marvelwars @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @frietiemeloen @waywardodysseys @thick-dick-daddy-mando @haildoodles-writing @walkerchick007 @miraelles

[artificialqueens]

Flower Files, Part 4 (Malaska, Courtya) - Albatross

AN: Been awhile but I’m hoping to get back into posting soon!

Bonus points if you know what anime inspired chapter 7!

Chapter 7: Malaska

A perfectly sunny day, a light breeze, and a casual stroll through the botanical gardens with her girlfriend…what more could Alaska want on a Saturday afternoon?

She used to visit the garden often as a kid, both with her family and with her school. It was one of her favorite memories from childhood and now as an adult, she’s come to love the gardens even more. There was just something so relaxing about wandering through all the rows of flowers and trees, watching the birds and butterflies dart through and around you, sitting on one of the cozy little benches as the ducks and geese swam around the many man-made ponds. She could hardly believe it when Manila had told her that she’d never been to the gardens before!

She booked their tickets for the following weekend, excited to share the beauty of the gardens with someone for the very first time. And Manila’s first reaction didn’t disappoint. As soon as they stepped beyond the ivy covered entrance gate, her eyes went wide with glee and wonder.

Everywhere you turned there was an overflowing abundance of colorful plants, sculptures or wildlife. Butterflies flew haphazardly between the people, sampling all the flowers as they spread out their beautiful wings. Birds sang in the trees, picked seeds or bugs from the plants, or drank from the babbling bird baths scattered through the park. The air smelled absolutely fragrant and alive as you passed between all the clusters of different flowers.

She looked so blissfully dazed as she rushed from one display piece to the next, determined not to miss anything. Manila read through all the little placards she could find, learning about the history of the gardens, donation stories of particular plant species or sculptures, or simply how to identify the different animals and insects that also visited the garden.

Alaska hung back, letting Manila explore at her own pace, as she drank the iced tea she bought from the kiosk next to the Conservatory. She wanted to save the indoor portion of the garden for last; it was, in her opinion, the most impressive of everything the nature preserve had to offer. And Manila was fine with waiting until the end to see it, though it certainly did pique her curiosity.

In the meantime, they made a loop around the landscape, visiting the pollinator fields, the hedge maze and topiary section, even catching one of the fountain shows that played every hour. As they finally circled back to the Conservatory, Manila felt a rush of excitement as they opened the doors to the expansive greenhouse.

Alaska was right to save it for last, Manila thought to herself. 

The first step inside absolutely took her breath away; full grown trees greeted them, as did hanging clumps of flowers and vines. The middle of the floor was sunken in and flooded, curtesy of the miniature waterfall at the other end of the room being fed from an outdoor pond. Floating plants drifted with the man-made current, swirling gently to create a mesmerizing sight. Lily pads littered the surface in so many colors that Manila could hardly believe it; it was like seeing one of Monet’s paintings in real life!

Everywhere she looked, there was a new species of plant that she had never seen before; all of them so bright and eye catching. Manila insisted on visiting every section of the greenhouse that was open to the public, including the children’s garden. Alaska followed behind, snapping a few pictures here and there, sometimes of the flowers but most of her girlfriend’s infectious smile.

As she was trying to focus her phone’s camera on a clump of blue and purple hydrangeas, Alaska felt a pair of arms wrapping snuggly around her waist. A swift kiss was pressed to her cheek just before she heard Manila urging, “Follow me!”

“Okay,” Alaska laughed, taking a quick picture and shoving her phone back into her pocket, “Why though?”

“I found something that reminds me of you!” she boasted, a secretive little smile playing out on her lips.

Unfortunately, Alaska was all too familiar with this situation. Certain memories of childhood teasing that were best left forgotten began to creep in at the edges of her mind. Sighing heavily, she dragged her feet and warned, “Is it that statue? Because I’ve already heard that joke before.”

Too much, she thought bitterly. She could almost hear her classmates comparing her to the gangly, oversized statue once again. The one whose limbs looked stretched until they barely resembled a human’s. The one whose perfectly pale marble expression looked almost like an imitation of The Scream and whose creepy pose of outstretched arms reaching for the flowers surrounding her haunted several children’s nightmares. The one that utterly and completely towered over most kids that came to visit…except for Alaska, of course. It’s head was only a few inches higher than her own when her class had visited the gardens in elementary school but the similarities of skin tone, height, and awkward proportions were more than enough for her classmates to compare her to the disturbing looking fixture.

As Manila continued to drag Alaska towards what she had discovered, she twisted her head around to look at her girlfriend with a mild degree of confusion. “Statue?” she asked curiously.

“The one they put in the middle of the children’s garden?” Alaska explained. Upon seeing Manila’s blank face, she added in with a groan, “The creepy one that looks like a cousin of slenderman? ‘Flower girl’, it’s called, I think?”

Shaking her head, Manila replied, “No…just wait, it’s over here.” 

Rounding the last corner of the pathway, Manila led her on for another 3 yards before stopping in the small clearing surrounding a miniature fountain. Pointing proudly to the Birds of Paradise encircling the bubbling water fixture, Manila exclaimed, “These!”

Leaning heavily against her girlfriend, Manila laced their fingers together as she explained, “These remind me of you cause they’re so unique. There’s nothing else around here that looks like them, or are as colorful…And it kinda looks like they’re all facing the sun, the way you do. You always keep your head up and try to see the positive in everything.” Pressing a swift, gentle kiss to Alaska’s jawline, Manila concluded with, “They just make me happy to look at, like you do. That’s why I thought of you when I found them.”

A rush of warmth quickly spread through Alaska’s chest until it was concentrated right at the center of her heart. Her emotions felt like they were bubbling to surface only to get caught in her throat leaving her unable to truly express just how happy and loved she felt. Instead all she could do was pull Manila in for a proper kiss, passionate and deep, letting her actions explain everything her tongue couldn’t.

When they reluctantly broke apart, foreheads resting against one another and perfectly jubilant smiles stretching across both women’s lips, Alaska finally found the voice to speak. “You’re the sweetest, you know that?” she whispered low enough for only them alone to hear.

“Only with you,” Manila replied coyly. “You wanna go check out the rest of the greenhouse now?”

Laughing, Alaska pulled away and took another appreciative look at the flowers. “In a minute,” she said. “I wanna look at these just a little longer.”

Chapter 8: Courtya

It took almost three full days but Katya was finally unpacked. A brand new apartment, all her own, that she could enjoy for the first time in her life. From the time she started college, moved out of her parent’s house, and all the way up until this last promotion at work, she’d always lived with at least one other person. Sometimes family, sometimes a girlfriend but usually just someone she sort of got along with and could help pay rent. She never had a place that was wholly and truly her’s…until now. 

To say she was excited would be a massive understatement; it felt like a huge milestone she’d been putting off because she never felt financially secure or even just brave enough at times to try living alone. But now that time was finally here; a chance to make this space her own. A chance to turn this apartment into a home.

Arranging the move and packing up everything had been the easy part, she soon discovered. The unpacking and reorganizing…not so much. But then again, order and discipline never really was her strong suit. Often she found herself getting so sidetracked looking for  just one specific thing among all the boxes, that she’d forget to put away anything else in the meantime. It added quite a bit of time to her unpacking and usually led to a rather large mess in most of her rooms. 

But after working almost nonstop for three days straight, everything eventually found a place in her new home. All that was left was to place the flattened boxes outside with the recyclables and dispose of all the packaging supplies. Then she could relax and settle in for this new chapter of her life.

Somewhere between the move itself on Friday and the unpacking that took over the majority of her weekend, Katya managed to spare a few minutes to answer her texts. Most were congratulatory, others offered moving tips or even to come and help. But one person actually asked if they could come over for a visit; Courtney.

A rush of giddiness swept through Katya in spite of the exhaustion seeping out from every pore. She couldn’t think of a better first houseguest than Courtney…and with any luck she can recommend a good restaurant or two nearby while Katya tried to find the energy to go grocery shopping. 

Her fingers typed out her new address at a lightning quick speed and within minutes Courtney announced that she was on her way over. 

If anyone asked, Katya would deny to her last breath that a delighted little squeal emanated from her lips as she read the message. No, she would simply say that she reviewed the text calmly , set down her phone on the kitchen counter, and walked over to the bathroom to freshen up. Because after all, who, after spending a long, exhausting day running around their apartment, moving furniture to just the right spot, arranging all of their little knickknacks and collectibles perfectly on the shelves and tucking away all of the other housing essentials, wouldn’t want to take a nice, hot shower and clean up a little? Particularly if they knew that company near and dear to their heart would be coming over very soon. 

So one quick shower and a fresh pair of clothes later, Katya was back to laying on the couch and anxiously awaiting a knock on her door. Just a few minutes after her TV show flipped to the next episode, Courtney announced her presence. 

Katya sprung from the couch and opened her front door with an exuberant smile on her face. Courtney’s excitement easily matched Katya’s own as a wide grin stretched from ear to ear, brightening the world around her. 

“Congrats on the new apartment!” she commended. Somehow her smile seemed to grow as she raised the leafy parcel in her hands. “Brought you a housewarming gift.”

Courtney held out a large, vibrant plant towards Katya, earning a muffled sound of joy. Eagerly accepting the gift, Katya wrapped her hands around the pot, letting her fingers brush against Courtney’s as they carefully exchanged ownership. 

“Thanks!” Katya exclaimed, carefully examining her new plant, “You shouldn’t ha-” Wait a minute. Her smile fell into something of a pout as the excitement quickly drained from her voice. ”…this is plastic,” she said flatly.

“Uh huh,” Courtney agreed, a pleasant smile still plastered on her face. Her eyes, however, now held a teasing glint in them. “And after you prove you can take care of this little guy, I’ll buy you a real one.” Her lips curled into a smirk as she continued on with, “You know, finding a nice sunny spot to put it, rotating the pot, dusting it every now and then. Perhaps even… weekly,” she mocked in a stage-whisper.

“You fucking bitch,” Katya grinned, side stepping the door. “Come on in…By the way, you wanna get something to eat with me? I’m starving.“

[solecize]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. you never forget your first love. sometimes you don’t want to. other times, you can’t. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. yuta x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. fluff / angst / high school au 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. mature language, death, mentions of a car accident, violence and verbal abuse 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 7.7k words 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. i finished this at 5am so its a little wonky and definitely not proofread

FOURTEEN.

the sun barely peaked out from the far horizon of the osaka skyline and the sweet smell of morning dew filled your lungs. a heavy backpack weighing down your shoulders, you hated walking to school in the mornings. clunk. clunk. clunk. the sound of your shoes drumming against the pavement guiding your path became a steady rhythm and your concerns of the day to come drowned within them; a physics test in the morning, a presentation at the end of the day, and the fact that you forgot to pack yourself a lunch. again. these thoughts settled into a roaming and wandering pace as you made your way to school.

wisps of golden rays broke though and in between branches and houses that you strolled past. specifically, the one house that you continuously walked back and forth in front of. ‘come on,’ you thought, waiting for the right moment. this routine that you’d been practicing since elementary school occurred at the almost exact same time every single time.

then, you heard the front door click. with that, you rushed back a couple steps and ignored the army marching through your chest. punctual as ever, yuta was ready. thankfully for you, that meant that you could ‘casually’ run into him on your way to school and walk together. that was the only thing you liked about walking in the mornings.

“oh, hey. good morning.” yuta bore a small smile, as he looked at you over his shoulder and locked the front door. the boy had yet to caught on to the fact that your presence was suspiciously always on time for him to exit his house.

your expression lit up when the eyes of the boy who you so deeply admired met yours. “good morning, yuta.” your smile leapt to your eyes.

as he did every morning, he jogged his way over to where you were and began walking at your side. the mere presence of him just an elbow’s touch away caused the bottom of your stomach to not just do backflips, but an entire gymnastic routine. somehow, you managed to catch your breath.

SIXTEEN. 

“and then, he went all ‘bang!’” your hands waved wildly, the words were overflowing from your lips and the rush of adrenaline still fresh in your veins.

miho watched you with a single raised eyebrow, half used to your antics, but was still bewildered at your longstanding crush on soccer star nakamoto yuta. even under the dim streetlights of that hazy and humid september evening, the rogue flush glowing at the apples of your cheeks was too obvious. she simply giggled and looped her arm around yours.

the narrow streets were littered with clusters of students from your school, laughter and chatter being heard from a mile away. the joyous buzz in the air was due to the soccer game that just occurred against the team’s arch rivals, which was won in a last minute dramatic fashion. the saviour of the night? he was walking towards you.

wait, what?

although surrounded by other team members clad in navy blue tracksuits, yuta easily stood out. everyone and anyone bombarded the guy as soon as he came within sight, wanting to congratulate and praise him for his talent and efforts. for some reason, though, there was a different gleam of purpose in his bright eyes.

your heartbeat quickened, but your steady walking pace remained. this was mostly due to miho’s pointed look, as she saw the way you nearly froze up at the sight of yuta—as you always did. up until this point, you weren’t sure what got to you. his charming smile, his kind heart, the way he poured passion into everything he did . . .you were a goner. however, you also had a pile of homework waiting for you when you got home and couldn’t slow down for him, who probably had a celebration to get to.

still, that didn’t change the fact that yuta was making a beeline in your direction. you thought you were imagining it, until you heard him call your name. then, a second time. at this point, you turned around without even realizing that you’d lost control of your body.

“oof—” he ran straight into you the moment you turned around. you wobbled for a second, but yuta’s strong arms caught you almost instantly.

his eyes widened. “oh, shit, i’m so sorry—”

“—no, it’s, um, it’s okay, really!” you exclaimed and wanted to shrivel up when you realized how high your voice became. miho snickered behind you, but you ignored it.

a grin stretched across yuta’s face and the butterflies in your stomach awoke. something about his presence, his spirit lit a spark inside of you. he absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair and opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and proceeded to play with the words on the tip of his tongue. you weren’t sure what was going on.

yuta asked, “did you enjoy the game?” at this point, he was full on ignoring the passerbys, save for the polite head nod for the congratulations he was receiving. all of his attention was on you.

“yeah, of course,” you nodded, maybe a little too vigorously. “you were really great out there. i mean it.”

“couldn’t have done it without my trusted medic.”

FIFTEEN.

you weren’t sure how exactly you were coaxed into this, but it seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye. everyone in your study group slowly began to flow out of yuta’s home, until it was just the two of you and studying wasn’t the main priority anymore. you weren’t in any rush to go home, considering your home was just a five minute walk away, and, of course, not wanting to pass up the opportunity to spend time with yuta.

“i don’t think i’m exactly fit for this,” you told him nervously, as he lead you onto the empty street by hand.

the evening went from homework to goofing around on youtube. the two of you had been exchanging music and favourite artists, which finally came down to stumbling across soccer clips. yuta then had the brilliant idea of teaching you soccer after you reminded him how much you loathed sports. for whatever reason, that brought you here.

yuta scoffed. “trust me, you’ll get the hang of it easily.”

the breeze blew softly, a relief on a hot summer night like this one. you sighed at the humidity and watched yuta. he dropped the soccer ball onto the ground and it hummed against the concrete, as he started to dribble it.

“you gotta pass with the inside of your foot,” he explained, though you were a little too mesmerized by his gorgeous calf muscles. “like this!” yuta demonstrated and passed the ball over to you like second nature.

somehow, you managed to stop the ball. it had to be either luck or the fear that it was going to crash into one of mrs. nakamoto’s potted plants. your eyes widened in shock. considering you could barely walk without tripping, this was an accomplishment.

he beamed. “great, now pass it over to me.”

what was intended to be a soft, gentle pass ended up being a hard kick to the, well, danger zone. it all happened so fast and before you knew it, the ball hit him with a loud smack! and yuta was trying to resist doubling over. his face contorted and body folded over in swallowed down pain, wincing.

you gasped and rushed over, endless apologies coming out. “oh my god, ohmygod, ohmy—”

“it’s okay, it’s okay!” yuta was gasping for air and you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, trying to help him stand up.

despite being in obvious distress, yuta still managed to laugh upon seeing your reaction. he didn’t realize how much he liked being aided to until you went out of your way to help him back inside and give him an ice pack. he didn’t realize how much he liked teaching his favourite thing to another person until he forced you outside and taught the basics of soccer to your clumsy ass.

most importantly, he didn’t realize how much he could like a person until you.

SIXTEEN.

you rolled your eyes, but you were, without a doubt, dying inside knowing that he remembered that day. “ha. hilarious.”

others continued to weave around you two and you were certain that it looked a little odd, probably annoying, that you were just standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. even miho had whispered that she would catch up with you later and snuck away. however, yuta didn’t budge.

“can i walk you home? it’s getting dark and i’m sure you can handle yourself, but just to be extra safe. . .” yuta offered and this took you by surprise.

“you guys just won the most important game of the season, isn’t there some sort of team celebration that you have to get to?” you raised your eyebrows, but allowed him to lead the way to your neighbourhood.

he shrugged. “everyone’s tired. besides, i wanted to, erm, talk to you.”

looking behind you, it seemed that the boys from the team were indeed dispersing, but strangely enough, were all looking in your direction. as if being caught red handed in a robbery, they all froze on the spot when they met your eyes and turned the other way immediately. yuta noticed this and grumbled something under his breath, but you didn’t catch it.

“about. . .?”

“uh, well, we’ve been friends for a while now, right?” yuta scratched the back of his neck with a tension in his movement.

shit. he found out about your crush on him. surely, he just wanted to let you down easy or something. you chomped down hard, teeth grinding against each other in pure agony. this was not happening. you managed to nod your head slowly.

he continued, “well, there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you.” his eyes, full of fire, wandered all over, except to meet yours. “ask you, er, actually.”

you blinked, trying your best to ignore the bubble of hope forming in your chest. “what do you mean?” because there was no way he was talking about what you’d been dreaming of for god knows how long.

he slowed down in his tracks and for a few moments, there was a calm.

“i like you.” yuta finally spat out, the wind knocked out of him and you nearly fell over attempting to halt in your route. “and i wanted to ask if you’d go out with me.”

cashmere moonlight illuminated the aged roads of osaka where joy danced in the air—the joy of victory, youth, and, now, first love. time seemed to suspend just for a few moments and it tasted like fireworks. a round of whoops emerged from where yuta left him teammates behind, but it was all white noise to you.

everything was blurry and unimportant, except for him.

SEVENTEEN.

“why did we invite these two?” miho groaned, watching the two of you from the other side of the room.

it hadn’t even been a minute since entering the karaoke lounge, but you and yuta were already cuddled up in the corner of one of the couches. he had pulled you onto his lap and you let out a loud giggle at the contact. snaking his arms around your waist, you knew that you were not leaving this place for the rest of the night.

yuta raised an eyebrow. “that’s awfully rude. we’re your friends.” his signature cheeky smile formed and you couldn’t help but press a kiss on his cheek.

“you guys have been on this lovey-dovey honeymoon shit for, like, a year now,” one of yuta’s teammates groaned.

“sucks for you guys.” you grinned in response and began flipping through one of the song books.

it was the middle of the summer going into your last year of high school and you were certain of it—you didn’t have a single care in the world. it was the last summer of pure freedom and everyone felt it all around them. it was a ticking time bomb, a countdown that result in late nights out with all of your friends. tonight it brought you to karaoke.

yuta tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. “i like this colour on you.” you’d just dyed your hair a few shades lighter than your natural shade a couple of nights ago as apart of a dare. of course, you did it, but the more you looked at it, the worse it seemed to look.

“really?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“duh. you look good in everything.”

you brought your face close to his ear, so that the conversation could only be heard between the two of you. “you should go sing something.”

“uh, what?” his face scrunched up jokingly, but you gave him a knowing eye.

it started off one day when you were chilling alone, just watching mamma mia on his couch. for whatever reason, yuta knew enough of the songs to be able to sing along. that’s when you discovered his gift of possibly the sweetest, smoothest voice you’ve ever heard. angelic, you insisted, but he was always too shy and didn’t acknowledge it.

since then, you’ve paid extra attention when you catch him singing under his breath, humming, or even just whistling. everyone told him how good he was, but he didn’t even consider it. nevertheless, it was the same glimmer in yuta’s eyes when he sang his favourite song as the one when he was on the field.

suddenly, the weight beneath you shifted. yuta had pushed you off his lap effortlessly, taking the song book. this forced you to stand up on your feet and left you confused.

he beckoned his friend that held the microphones over and took them from him. “what are you doing?” you asked.

“let’s sing a duet, then.” at this, all of your friends cheered in response to this unusual action from yuta. he’d always be the one to just sit in the corner with his drink, hype up everyone else, and maybe give some background vocals in the form of yelling.

“oh, really?” you laughed, not believing what was happening.

“what? i like trying new things with you,” yuta declared with a grin and passed a microphone to you, which you barely caught. “you better keep up.”

the night unfolded just like that, with nineties throwback jams and laughter all around. miho captured the memory on her polaroid and you kept several of these pictures to stow away, probably in some shoebox under your bed. however, for now, you lived these pictures. you lived them with yuta, always pushing each other to your boundaries and always with the best of hearts.

SEVENTEEN.

it started with that one time at the amusement park when you nearly lost your shit at the top of the ferris wheel. then, he noticed the way you squirmed trying to walk across the metal grates downtown where you could see just how deep it went past those holes. you never wanted to join your friends when they would have lunch on the school rooftop.

you had a fear of heights.

one promise was made clear between the two of you at the start of your senior year in high school: to make the best out of it. yuta figured that this meant pushing you to face what scared you the most. this was the first of them.

with a sigh, you suddenly found your shoes to be the most interesting thing in the world. “i really don’t know about this.”

“we took a three hour bus ride to get here and you’re not sure about this?” yuta folded his arms across his chest. “you’re the one that suggested we all go to the beach.”

you gnawed on your bottom lip. “well, yeah, but i meant to go swimming or tan or play volleyball! this—” you beckoned down to the aquamarine ocean line, “—is not what i meant, yuta!”

kicking a piece of rock, it flew right off the edge and deep down into the shore below. you watched it and the distance it made, which only caused you to stiffen up even further. the cliff had to be at least twenty meters high and despite the beautiful crystal waters, it felt like diving into a black hole. your eyes remained glued to the mocha dirt between your feet, as the sight only pumped your blood faster and faster.

yuta chuckled softly and you smacked his arm. “this isn’t funny!”

raising his hands up in defense, he approached you slowly. “come on. you’re the bravest girl i know.” your boyfriend tried to tip your chin up, but you tore in away. “you’ve been telling me for years about how you’ve wanted to get over this.”

“yeah, but we all know i’m a pussy ass bitch.”

he rolled his eyes, but wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed your temple. “come on. if you do it, i’ll buy you food.”

you scoffed. “you think i’m that easily bought?”

even though he didn’t say a word, the look that yuta gave you was enough to indicate his agreement. you looked between him and the seemingly endless jump that awaited you just a few steps away. squinting at the sun, you let out a loud breath.

“well?” yuta asked hopefully.

you rubbed the ring on your left hand, a habit formed in the confrontation with your nerves, and braced yourself. in a twist of fate, you found yourself walking a few steps back and for a second, he thought that you were leaving. then, yuta saw the look on your face and grinned. it was enough for him to know. squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to steady yourself.

“you have to jump right after me, okay?!” you didn’t mean to yell, but everything began to muffle except for the pounding in your ears.

yuta said, “you got it, baby.” he began clapping and whooping, building up your energy at your side.

it was like flying. you ran and ran until your entire body was wrapped around blankets of air and freedom. you finally opened your eyes, wide and bright, to the world around you. it was pure lunacy. it must’ve lasted forever, because when you emerged from the sharp waters and gasping for air, yuta was already right beside you.

a boil of hysteria formed at the base of your throat. one giggle lead to another, until you were having a full on fest of laughter. you couldn’t stop and watching you, yuta couldn’t help but start laughing, too. you flung your arms around him in the tightest embrace, still shaking from the nerves, but in the best way possible. you planted a deep kiss on his lips and he groaned.

“i guess that wasn’t so—” you were cut off by yuta’s lips, capturing yours once again.

SEVENTEEN.

everyone knew you and yuta to be the couple that was late to almost everything. however, most were not aware of the fact that it was almost strictly because of him. sometimes, you had to step back and marvel at just how good he was at wasting time when getting ready for something.

“oh my god, is it possible to take any longer than this?” you yelled at him from his bedroom balcony, as you absentmindedly scrolled through your phone. at the same time, you ignored the angry messages from your friends, wondering where the two of you were.

the sound of the blow dryer finally came to a stop. “relax, there’s no need to rush.”

“it’s the last school festival we’re ever gonna have and you don’t wanna rush?” you quipped back.

this happened every time, so you weren’t nearly as irritated as you should’ve been. this was considering you woke up extra early to pick out your outfit and actually attempt real makeup on your face. it made you a little nervous, considering you made enough effort to brush your hair and throw on the nicest skirt you owned, albeit after digging through your closet for who knows how long. you arrived at yuta’s almost an hour before you were supposed to leave and without surprise, he was still in bed.

since this happened every time, you had one simple method that worked every time. all it took was one iced cube for nakamoto yuta, the mighty star player of your school’s soccer team, to squeal like a four year old and scramble out of bed. soon enough, he was in the shower and belting to chris brown at the top of his lungs.

he definitely didn’t get out soon enough.

you got up to bang on his bathroom door, but before you could do so, it swung open. yuta was fully dressed in casual attire of an oversized hoodie, a jean jacket, and black sweats. a baseball cap nestled the top of his pristine hair and you immediately swiped it off.

“hey—” yuta began to protest, but then his eyes scanned your appearance and his jaw was left hanging.

clearly, you didn’t notice, because you continued ranting. “if you took all that time to blow dry your hair, why the hell did you put on a hat?”

“you look. . .”

“we are so late and—”

he clamped a hand over your mouth, only getting a further rise out of you. “can you just listen to me?” but, this didn’t stop your attempts and yelling through his hand.

yuta didn’t let go until you had the bright idea to lick his hand, at which he let out a chorus of “yuck, ew, gross” and spun around to wash his hands immediately. you snickered at his reaction, but were still heated.

he gave you a dirty look. “damn, a guy can’t tell his girl that she looks beautiful?”

“not when the guy is the reason for them being an hour and a half late!” you cried. jaw set, you had to admit that this would normally get your heart pounding, but it was going to be your fist’s turn if he didn’t hurry. long gone were the days where you couldn’t speak the truth to yuta and now, you’d cuss him out at any given time.

he chuckled and placed a hand on your cheek. “well, you do. i don’t know what you did, but you look good, all dressed up and stuff.”

you let him bring you into a gentle embrace and melted into him almost instantaneously. “yeah, yeah, whatever,” you said into his chest. “by the way, i really enjoyed the concert you put on there.”

yuta’s ears turned slightly red, but he laughed it off. “thanks. i’ve been practicing.” he looked over and noticed the balcony door open, the curtains blowly softly against the wall. “were you just on my balcony?”

“yeah, it’s way too hot in here.”

“willingly? alone? at a high height?” he dramatically gaped and you hit his arm.

you replied, “ergh, yes, okay? let’s move on now.” you couldn’t bite back the small grin that was forming on your face and there was no way he didn’t notice it.

the two of you eventually raced out the front door and began a rock paper scissors competition to decide who would have to face an angry miho, who’d been waiting for you two for hours.

EIGHTEEN.

you shared all of the most painful moments of your life with yuta. he was there for you after every test you failed, every sad movie that pulled at your heartstrings, and every time you plucked your eyebrows. just thinking about him, you could easily remember the way his arms felt like home, when nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

“she’s going to be okay, come on. .  .” he murmured into your ear, as he stroked your hair. “please, just breathe, baby.”

“miho was on her way to see me! she shouldn’t have—” you couldn’t finish the sentence, a strangled sob choking your words to bits.

yuta rocked you back and forth in his arms as you tried to look for some sort of light, but the bland eggshell walls of the hospital corridor provided nothing to comfort you. there was no one else waiting for miho except you. you were all she had.

that day, she ended up surviving the fatal car accident. you were certain that you would have gone mad if it weren’t for yuta’s warm arms and the sweet nothings he assured into your being. he was your strength that day.

likewise, yuta shared all the most painful moments of his life with you. you were there for him after every injury he suffered on the field, after every screaming match with his hotheaded father, and every lost game that he took. you somehow made him laugh on his way to the infirmary. you found every way to cheer him up after a bad game. most of all, you were the one who cradled him and let him sob into your chest in the rare moments when he would lose all control after a fight with his dad.

it was about one in the morning when you awoke in a startle. the sound of a pile of your textbooks toppling over from your desk created what seemed to be an earthquake at an ungodly hour. you awoke to your heart beating wildly, unsure of what to expect.

thankfully, it was just your idiot boyfriend, who had no idea how to climb into a room through a window. unsure of what was going on, your first instinct to whisper yell at him about whatever the hell he was doing and the fact that your parents could have woken up, but then you saw. you saw his dead eyes and his slumped over figure.

“did he. . .”

you hadn’t seen yuta in about a week, ever since his father was hospitalized. he didn’t elaborate on any details when he explained the situation to you, but you knew it was fatal. he didn’t even want you visiting.

“yeah. he went real quick and just like that,” yuta took in a deep breath, “it was over.”

you immediately sat up on your bed and made room for him, to which he immediately occupied. all you wanted to do was reach out and touch him, to enclasp his hardened joints and cold skin. looking over at him, though, it seemed like the hardest thing to do. you’d never seen yuta so empty before.

you cleared your throat, while eyeing your bedroom door to ensure all lights remained off. “shouldn’t you be with your mom and sister?”

“i dropped them off at home so they could sleep. i wanted to call you, but,” yuta shrugged, “i’m here now.”

after that, yuta didn’t talk for the rest of the night. though he stared blankly at your popcorn ceiling as if he was in another world, you kept him grounded. you talked about anything and anything to distract him. the soccer game on television that evening, the new, hideous curtains that your mother put in the living room, how you just learned to do some basic sewing, the neighbourhood gossip. you talked until your throat strained and begged for you to give up. but, you didn’t give up until the first streams of ginger orange and rose emerged from the horizon beyond your tiny window.

by then, he coasted into a deep sleep into the crook of your neck and one arm slung over your torso. you buried your face in his hair, hand clutched in his. pain always hurt, but neither of you ever had to hurt alone.

EIGHTEEN.

you shared all of the most painful moments of your life with yuta, but you never anticipated the day when one of those moments would be because of him.

“what do you mean?” you felt like you’d just been punched in the gut, your lips parting in shock.

yuta pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek and set down his soda on the rooftop ledge. “i mean, i’m leaving. i’m going to accept their offer of admission.” his eyes were downcast and he felt like he was holding onto all of the weight in the world.

“but-but, i—” you started, but couldn’t find the words.

nothing seemed real in that moment. you shook your head and turned away, finding the door to be the only option. however, watching even your smallest of movements, yuta knew you too well and easily predicted what you were going to do next.

he grabbed your arm before you could walk away. “can we just talk about this first?”

“like the way you talked to me about applying to schools overseas?” you shot, though your voice was quieter than usual.

like every other couple in the graduating class, your future was up in the air. it was floating and it seem like every time to made a move to reach out and grab for it, all that slipped through your fingers was pure nothingness. void. you didn’t want to think about it, instead opting to live in the moment.

however, with the changing leaves and the aforementioned ticking time bomb became the background music to your every day life. there always seemed to be something that popped out of nowhere to remind you of what you dreaded—the fact that you were running out of time.

yuta ran a hand through his hair. “it wasn’t the plan, i just kinda did it on a whim and i never expected. . .” his shoulders slumped.

it was then you realized that yuta was no longer living by the same hour.

although you avoided talking about it, you and yuta were with each other every step of the way since the year began. you thought the happy ending plan you concocted in your plan was officially set in motion and absolutely nothing could go wrong.

wrong.

though you knew deep inside that this wasn’t a bad thing, that you shouldn’t be upset at yuta, there was a nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach. every bad scenario that could possibly be generated suddenly flashed before your very eyes and at that, your entire body stiffened.

your heart ached and you couldn’t help but step forward to place a hand on his chest. “listen. i’m happy for you and i’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but,” you shook your head, “that shit really hurt mine.”

before he could say anything, you took off the sweater he’d given to just a few minutes earlier when the two of you arrived. the cold breeze felt like knives against your flesh, but you ignored it. for your entire life, you knew that you were as fragile as glass. however, you never truly felt it up until this moment.

“come on, it’s not that serious,” yuta said, eyes widened.

you replied, “it doesn’t matter. this is, um, just a lot to take in.” shaking your head, you broke free of his grasp.

just as you approached the stairs to return back to the school building, you hear yuta’s voice from behind you.

“i’m not letting this be the end.”

EIGHTEEN.

when the guests began pouring out of your front door, you took this as an opportunity to sneak out the back and around to escape the dreadful atmosphere. this wasn’t to say that you weren’t grateful for the careful orchestration done to ensure a successful surprise party, you were really blown away by the plan made by your family and miho. walking into your living room to be met with a crowd of people to celebration your recent acceptance to university was the highlight of your day and the second last thing you expected.

the last thing you expected had followed you out your back door, having kept a close eye on you since the start of the party. yuta had not spoken to you in a week, not since the reveal on the school rooftop. you stated that you needed space and he respected that, but there was no way he wasn’t going to celebrate your massive academic accomplishments, especially when he was the rock to keep you stable all of this years.

plus, miho would’ve killed him.

“hey, hey, hey,” yuta’s unmistakable voice chimed in behind you, “where are you going?”

“i needed some air,” you said, without turning around.

he jogged up to you and began walking by your side. you didn’t look at him. you weren’t sure why.

yuta said, “it’s crazy how fast everything’s going now,” he shoved his hands into his pockets. “it seems like yesterday we were just fourteen and screwing around, doing whatever without caring about tomorrow.”

“. . .yeah. i think i’m going to go crazy thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the day after.” the confession tasted bitter and it showed crystal clear in your features. “like, obviously, the party was great and all but it was just another reminder of all this shit building up.”

“you have no reason to worry,” yuta scoffed. “you have so much to look forward to. i know you aren’t afraid to be on your own next year.”

“but, that’s the thing, yuta!” you bellowed. “i’m not afraid, i’m terrified. i wasn’t going be afraid because i wasn’t going to be on my own, i was supposed to have you.” it took all of your strength to even attempt to stop your voice from shaking.

like you’d always done, you found yourself immediately melting back into his arms, like they were your rightful place. “believe it or not, i am so fucking ecstatic for you. i just—”

“—wish we wouldn’t have to go our own ways?” yuta finished for you, a sad smile playing on his lips.

you nodded. “it’s stupid, but you’ve been by my side forever. and i want the best for you and trust me, i know this school is perfect for you.”

“you looked into it?”

“of course i did,” you managed to laugh. “and it checks off every single box for your dream school.”

the conversation was a volcano, waiting to erupt in the shadows for quite some time. thankfully, it wasn’t destructive. the two of you sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, still not letting go of each other. similar to leisurely flowing lava, it was warm and of beauty unlike any other.

yuta cupped your cheek and you swore you would have given anything to freeze those few seconds of time to keep. “you know, no matter what happens, you’ll always have my heart.”

that night, yuta took you to the same arcade he brought you to on your first date at fifteen. you shared laughter and exchanged music like you had for many years. the fear settling deep into both of your bodies seemed to fade for that one night. because, although he wanted to be strong and reject it, yuta was as scared as you were.

“you aren’t making the wrong decision,” you assured him, over and over again.

just like that, the magma begun to settle. the fog started to clear, but you weren’t sure if whatever hid behind it all was what you wanted. regardless, for those few seconds in time, everything seemed to be okay.

EIGHTEEN.

"stop crying, loser.”

“i am not crying!” you insisted with a laugh, as you hastily swiped at the tears brimming in your eyes. “i am totally fine, this is totally happening.”

standing in the middle of the parking lot of the ceremony hall, you looked a little ridiculous. you’d long given up on wearing heels and opted to go barefoot, your makeup was smeared, and you already ripped your gown by accident when you stepped on it going down the stairs. yuta didn’t see you that way, though.

he saw you for what you were: the smart, strong, gorgeous girl that he’d been in love with for the past four years of his life. the first girl he’d ever loved. he’d gone on believing that you were going to be the last, too, but that dream was shattered into pieces now. somehow, he accepted this with a smile.

“i guess this is goodbye,” he jokingly extended his hand, to which you slapped it out of the way and nearly jumped on him for a bone crushing hug. yuta laughed and hugged you back just as tight, beginning to twirl you around and ignored the way his cap toppled off his head in the process. 

all of a sudden, you heard a loud honk. he let go of you and you noticed that your family was waiting for you to get in the car. you sighed. his eyes met yours and the silence was enough.

he pressed a kiss against your cheek, one last time. “bye, angel.”

TWENTY FIVE.

nothing was the same. your parents had long moved out of your childhood home and to the other side of the city. you lost contact with all of your high school friends and as far as you knew, they’d all moved to different points of the country. upon returning to your hometown, there was nothing left for you anymore.

dropping the last of your cardboard boxes, thankfully not one of the ones marked with ‘fragile,’ miho let out a loud huff. “finally! i thought this shit would never end,” she grumbled.

you kicked the box aside to the back wall of you brand new apartment. “thanks for helping me out.”

she was the last of your old friends to remain in osaka, having built her life here after graduation as a police officer. in fact, miho was the last of your old friends to stick by your side ever since. some were appalled at the turn of events that occurred  in your life and ostracized you. others simply faded away naturally. miho was the first of them to enter your life and you were in pure relief when she promised that she wouldn’t leave your side.

miho was the one you dragged into your washroom to take the five tests to see if they were really accurate. when yuta was long gone, she was your rock. when you had to go through school with a young kid, she was your source of encouragement through strings of letters, phone calls, and text messages.

she was the last constant in your life in the ‘before’ and the ‘after.’

“duh, do you know how excited i am for you to be back?!” miho squealed, hugging you for what seemed to be the hundredth time since you arrived back in town just a year before.

you beamed. “i just. . .can’t believe it.” looking out the window, you realized that you left so much of yourself when you left at eighteen. now that you were back, you weren’t sure if you wanted to pick up where you left off.

your oldest friend nodded in understanding. suddenly, there was a loud chime and miho checked her phone immediately, frowning at her screen. she shoved in back into her purse and sighed.

“i really don’t want to leave you alone, but i have to go,” she said.

you nodded in understanding. “it’s okay. go. i have to go grocery shopping for me and the little dude over there anyway,” you replied. “i’ll catch up with you tomorrow for lunch?”

the small boy sitting at your newly moved couch looked up at the mention of himself. he’d been occupied the entire time with power rangers reruns and you walked over to him, scooping him up in a cuddle. yosuke was at the age where he whined at every form of physical affection from his mother, even if they were the best of friends like the two of you were.

“of course,” miho said and followed you. she cooed at yosuke, who’s eyes were still glued to the tablet screen in his hands. taking his chubby cheeks between her manicured fingers and pinching them, the kid let out a loud groan and you gave him a pointed look.

you cleared your throat. “say bye to auntie miho.”

“bye auntie miho,” yosuke mumbled with a grimace painted across his face.

standing up, you began to walk miho to the door. she slipped on her heels, ranting about the warm weather in november, but to be honest, you were mostly tuning her out in favour of just appreciating miho’s presence in the first place. just like old times.

you opened the door for her and waved her goodbye. however, just as you were about to close it, the door beside your apartment opened. whether it was out of curiosity or some cruel trick by destiny, you look out to greet your neighbour.

what came next couldn’t have happened in your wildest dreams.

everything was the same. sure, he grew out his hair a little bit longer, but yuta looked exactly the same in that dusty parking lot, when the two of you were eighteen. a lollipop dangled from his mouth, like before, and his surroundings were drowned out by earphones plugged into both of his ears. he still wore his late father’s titanium watch, no matter how aged it was. yuta’s eyes met yours and you were a goner, like you always were. it was more than a punch to the gut, but a full on blow to the face and a kick to the shins. your entire body felt like it’d just been battered. you couldn’t breathe.

for half a second, he glanced away. then, the nooks and crannies of his memories that hadn’t been touched in years became triggered. yuta looked up and he could’ve sworn, everything in the world stopped. his mouth ran dry and the vulnerability that settled in his bones felt as though he’d been caught in the middle of a crime.

yuta wanted to say your name, to see if it was really you, but nothing seemed to croak out.

“this can’t be real.” you didn’t know you were saying this out loud, but the words just spilled out of your mouth. you felt like a wax candle, eventually vanishing the hotter your flame grew. this couldn’t be happening.

he sputtered, “i can’t—”

you suddenly became aware of your appearance and wanted to just hide away. with your hair twisted into a half-assed bun and clad in an old t-shirt and denim overalls, you looked more like the visiting plumber than a tenant.

“—believe it,” you finished for him, trying to let the oxygen enter your body. “um, sorry, i just moved in, so i’m not really fit to be seen by actual humans.”

neither of you were sure how to go about this, both wanting to go in for a hug, but hesitated. after a few awkward attempts, yuta eventually went ‘fuck it’ and just completely squashing you into an embrace. you weren’t sure how long the hug lasted for. maybe an hour. a couple minute. a few seconds. but even just a quarter of that was enough for you. the smell of musk and teakwood filled your senses and you were lost again, forgetting about what this reunion meant for you.

“you look great.” yuta just saw you the way he’d always remembered you. “you still look the same.” he chuckled, taken aback and blown away.

you scrunched your nose. “do i?” there was no way he was being serious.

“just like the night of the spring festival.”

that was what took you by surprise, the fact that he remembered that night, much less what you looked like. still, the whole situation was not fully processed in your mind. you shook your head, blinking your doubts away.

you tried to form your words. “what, erm, are you doing here?” the awkward laugh that came out of your mouth was enough to say it all. “i mean, last i heard, you became a big shot, working for some company in europe.”

“i moved back to japan a few weeks ago,” yuta revealed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “i wanted to work back home.” though the smile on his face was small, it was enough to bring you back to the bliss of your relationship with him.

none of this was real.

you were dizzy. seeing yuta felt like seeing a ghost from your past. this wasn’t supposed to be what moving back to osaka was about. seven years away meant seven years of growth and even harder, moving on. you finally snapped yourself out of the fragrant, intoxicating daze that was nakamoto yuta and realized you had to confront the reality.

“what—” you started,

he shrugged and leaned against his door frame. “why travel the world when you feel like you’re, well, missing something?” yuta asked. “i mean, i had a lot going for me. but, something felt wrong.”

this was just honesty from yuta. after years away from his roots, there had to be a reason why he traced his footprints back to home. maybe it was after pleading to the stars for an answer, but standing in front of you seemed like the twist of fate he’d been seeking.

“nothing beats home and family, right?”

it was too late. from the ringing in your ears, you didn’t hear the tiny footsteps plopping right behind you on your new, carpeted floors. you didn’t hear the distant video music come to an abrupt pause. you didn’t hear any of it and then, you felt a tug at your pant leg.

“i’m hungry,” yosuke yawned, looking up at you through his long eyelashes.

all the colour in yuta’s face drained. you rubbed the ring on your left hand and tore your gaze away from yuta and instead focused on your son. “okay, yosuke, go back inside and i’ll make you lunch, honey.” you forced a smile, but yosuke just gave a confused side glance at yuta. nonetheless, he retreated back inside.

yuta always imagined what it would be like if he crossed paths with you again. in most of these fantasies, you’d fall right back into his arms. he rarely considered the idea that you would have someone else. he didn’t even entertain the notion at all, the dead clutch of hope still remaining within him.

“yosuke?” he asked slowly, trying to memorize the details of the little boy’s face and all he saw were your features.

it was the hardest thing for you to say.

“yeah. my son.”

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂.

i like you (exo remake) - weathercast severely - ft island milk - f(x) at the end - chungha you were beautiful - day6

[theunmappedstar]

I dare you to give some random badboy au headcanons

so, i’m sorry, but “random headcanons” turned into “here’s the beginning of highschool badboy au plot that i have stuck in my head”... so... enjoy.

Sophie meets them because she joins Foxfire’s photography class as an elective. She has a group assignment that she has to complete, which requires her to take some photography scavenger hunt. She’s given a piece of paper with a list of different prompts she has to use to take pictures. (She’s mostly intrigued by the “street photography” bullet point).

Sophie gets paired up with Biana. They make quick friends and decide to divvy up the work - but this is also how Sophie learns about the boys.

She’d heard a little about them prior, but Sophie tended to only dip her toe into the gossip sparingly, so she doesn’t know exactly what’s up with these dudes

Sophie finds out that Biana is related to Fitz. Biana’s actually a real chatterbox when it comes to her family, so over the next week Sophie’s filled in on the majority of the timeline. (Also, the fact that everyone seemed to know of it, but her made Sophie feel really out of the loop and unpopular, but.)

The Vackers are a very wealthy and influential family. Biana’s parents naturally expected the most of their kids. Unfortunately, that only ended up dividing them. The three siblings weren’t very close when they were younger, but at least they talked - they barely interact normally anymore, according to Biana, focusing solely on their own lives and work. Alvar’s long since graduated, but Fitz and Biana are still held to their parent’s high expectations; they feel pressured to somehow reach above Alvar’s already-tremendous feats. Biana says even though it was rough, she never really saw it as a competition like her two brothers did. But that doesn’t mean she liked it, either.

Anyway, Fitz got so fed up with it and after a blowout, he managed to fall into what the Vacker parents love to call the “wrong crowd.”

The “wrong crowd” happens to be two kids - one from Foxfire Academy and one from a neighboring not-so-pristine school called Exillium.

Sophie’s interested as to who the two kids are, naturally, so she asks.

She almost immediately regrets that decision because as it would turn out, she knows those two kids.

Or, at least, she used to.

The first, Keefe Sencen, was surrounded by a lot of talk in her grade because of how he’d managed to skip a year when he was younger - and now Sophie finds that he’s apparently close to having to retake a year, since his grades have started to slip. She’d only seen him a couple times in elementary and had been paired with him for projects a staggering record of two times, but that didn’t mean he was one she would forget. (Those two group projects had been hell for her. He’d messed around with her so much and made her so frustrated and flustered and urg she hadn’t known how to act around a boy so obnoxious-but-cute).

Sophie doesn’t know if she’s surprised or not to find out that he managed to flip into the resident bad boy

The second one, Tam Song, happened to be a childhood friend (or she assumed that was the same Tam Song. There couldn’t be that many Tam Songs in the world, right?). She’d had a couple playdates with him before his parents had moved him and his twin sister away. She found out years later from her parents that the Songs had been having financial troubles and could no longer afford to be in the neighborhood/attend the academy

Sophie is baffled that the three managed to get together and start a reputation for themselves, no less

Sophie’s also baffled that they’re so well-known and yet she hadn’t really heard a thing about them; seriously, how unpopular was she?

When she relays the info to Dex and Marella at lunch, they tease Sophie that they’ve been waiting for it to hit her for years.

“...Why do you think we sit alone?” Dex asks.

Honestly, Sophie never really bothered to think about it. “I don’t know.”

Marella just snort-giggles. “Listen, you’re really smart, Sophie: you could build an entire AI system if you put your mind to it. But sometimes you lack a little thing called common sense.”

She doesn’t know whether to be offended or flattered.

She chooses to be flattered.

In the following days, Biana and Sophie get to checking off the to-do list for the assignment. Sophie’s first one requires her to take pictures of the interior of the school. She knows full well she could use her press pass to take pictures of the empty hallways during school, but that would require setting a time up with teachers, which would mean talking to teachers, which required basic social interaction... which.... was not very appealing and definitely not on Sophie’s list of Things I Want To Do.

She instead decides to stay after school for half an hour and take pictures.

She’s meandering around, snapping pictures here and there, trying to find out which angles would make the pictures less boring when she’s startled by a voice.

Sophie nearly drops the camera and whirls to find a boy sprawled across the bench outside the principle’s office. It takes her a moment to recognize him, but it eventually floods her brain.

Surprise, surprise - it’s Keefe Sencen.

He’s changed a lot since she last saw him. Granted, she last saw him when they were, like, six, but she lets herself be shocked.

Keefe’s got the whole getup. Ripped jeans, black tee, jet-black leather jacket... And he wears curiously, Sophie notices, an abundance of chains. Specifically, those rapper chains that dangle around your neck.

Sophie doesn’t realize that he’s called for her until he does it again. He’s asking what she’s up to, walking around with a camera like that after school.

She doesn’t know why, but “Yearbook” stumbles out.

She is not in Yearbook. She’s in Photography - close, but not quite it.

Keefe seems to feed off of her being flustered. It looks like he seriously enjoys it. he goes on to ask her what she’s got to take pictures of

She can’t really speak when he stands, hands shoved in his pockets, looking like that, so she just... hands the list over to him.

He quirks a brow and muses about the student/faculty box that has yet to be checked and he asks why she’s saved that one, since she’s been at school all day.

“Well, I... don’t really know how to casually approach someone and ask for a picture.”

It’s true. Everyone’s moving so fast and about their day during school hours and it’s especially hard to catch anybody after school.

Keefe just shrugs. “Then, you don’t have to.”

It takes her a second to realize what he means. He’s offering to let her take a picture of two of him.

It seems like a good idea. He’s right there and she can get it done and over with, but something about lifting the camera and snapping some shots of Keefe Sencen... Having to go home and know that she has access to pictures of him that she herself got to take...

He seems untouchable, is the thing. It seems like this is something that shouldn’t be happening - like he should have shooed her off like she was some human scum. It seems like they’re on two different levels. She’s the weird kid nobody really strives to talk to and he’s the boy that everyone’s terrified and annoyed (but secretly impressed) of.

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

Keefe interrupts her to assure her he doesn’t mind. He does ask if it sounds a little too self-centered, though, the way he just offered himself up for grabs.

Sophie’s not really listening because she’s too mesmerized by him combing his hands through his hair.

She kinda just blinks and mumbles some incoherent reply while trying to set the camera up. Her hands are super shaky and Keefe notices. Sophie stiffens when he outstretches a hand and asks if he can see the camera

“Um,” she starts, forcing herself to look at him, “I don’t think I should. I don’t own this and if it gets damaged-”

“Relax,” he murmurs. He retracts his hand instantly. “I was just asking. I took photography - I’m interested what camera they’ve given you. It looks different from the one I used; which seriously sucked, by the way.”

He pauses for a second to look her up and down. It makes her squirm, feeling on fire.

“And the pictures don’t have to be of me, right? They can be of students, if I’m remembering the guidelines correctly.” He waves the paper in his hands before reaching out to give it back to her. “And you, Miss...”

When Sophie recognizes he’s asking for her name, she blushes. “Sophie.” She plucks the paper from his hand.

He gives a swirling hand gesture, like he’s prodding for more.

“Foster,” she contends.

He nods, satisfied once he has her last name. “Foster,” he repeats, then continues, “Well, you’re a student, if I do say so myself. So, that means...” He lifts up his hands, pretending like he’s holding an imaginary camera. He pretends to adjust the lens and focus on her, finger hovering over the imaginary button that would take the imaginary picture.

He smirks. “Need a smile there, Foster,” he beckons.

She’s pretty sure she can’t get any redder. “I’m not really photogenic,” she argues, reaching forward to beckon his fake camera down.

He relents and let’s his hands drop, but his smirk remains. “Sure.”

She doesn’t really know what to say after that, so she hands him the camera with a mumble. Keefe eagerly takes it in his hands (which makes her notice the rings he has littered on his fingers) and he starts flipping and fiddling.

He says some random model name to her which she doesn’t really pay attention to. She only snaps up when his meddling ends and he asks, “Hey, by the way, how’ve the group projects been going?”

His smile seems more tender. More reminiscent. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, which makes Sophie realize he remembers her. And, in turn, he remembers those god-awful projects they were forced to endure together.

She’s pretty sure she turns redder than her rosy skirt. “You remember that?” she mumbles.

Keefe chuckles. “Remember? Can’t really forget.” He taps his temple. “Also, anything that involves a cute girl is immediately filed to the front of my brain.”

Sophie’s so struck by the compliment that she nearly grazes over his first fact. How had she managed to forget he had a photographic memory just like her?

She doesn’t quite know how to respond, but she manages to pull a smile and mumble something about needing to get to work if she wants to finish the project. Surprisingly, Keefe just smiles back and offers her the camera. She makes sure not to graze too much of his skin as she takes the camera from his hands, shaking. She thanks him and turns to bolt away as fast as her legs can carry her (because she knows she’s on fire and she knows he can see it and oh god-) when his voice slows her down.

“I’m serious about that picture thing, Foster. If you need any help, I’ve got time.”

She stops in the hallway to look at him. Sophie raises a slow eyebrow and gestures to the office. Her hand is unsteady, but she’s proud when her voice doesn’t shake. “You seem pretty busy to me.”

Keefe laughs. “Nah, this is normal. But I can find a way to make some time for you.”

Sophie’s sure he says something more along the line of, “All you need to do is ask,” but she’s pretty sure the entire world has become a blur. in a flash she’s said her goodbye and she’s speed walking out to Dex’s car (he offered to drive her home after school, that day. He does it whenever he has time, actually. They live in the same neighborhood, which is pretty convenient, given they’re best friends and adoptive cousins).

Dex can see she’s off her game, but he doesn’t delve into it. The car ride home is pretty quiet.

Also when Biana and Sophie see each other in class the following day, it’s pretty hard for Sophie to come up with an excuse as to why she doesn’t have that many photos. She promises that she’ll stay after school again to try and make them up.

She does.

And that’s when she meets Fitz.

Sophie doesn’t really know how it happened. She avoided the area she’d seen Keefe in at all costs, snapping pictures literally anywhere else she could find, but somehow she wound up outside on the curb. And somehow she ended up wandering through the mostly-empty parking lot, snapping pictures of the parking spaces that the seniors had decorated (every year the graduating class got to customize their parking spot with spray paint). And wandering through the parking lot taking pictures led to her spotting a few sleek bikes.

In hindsight, Sophie thinks she finally understands what Marella meant by “you’re smart but you have no common sense,” because she walks up to the bikes. They’re against the curbside parking spaces, so Sophie steps up on the sidewalk and begins observing the shiny vehicles.

She’s never really been keen on motorcycles (the idea of getting one kind of terrifies her) but she has to admit that they look good.

And Sophie, lacking that beautiful common sense, snaps a picture.

She barely holds back the squeak when someone behind her asks what she’s up to. Sophie turns around to meet two boys in leather jackets. They’ve both got dark heads of hair, but one is noticeably lighter. And the darkest sported silver-dyed bangs.

She’s pretty sure her insides shrivel. It’s them, there’s no denying. Her photographic memory compares Tam’s aged features with the ones from his youth, seeing how his soft face had turned to hard-and-handsome lines. And she can see the resemblance to Biana in Fitz’s equally-charming face.

(Also, the more that she thought about it, she’d actually been put against Fitz during one of the stupid elementary spelling bees. She severely prayed he didn’t remember her as spelling bee girl.)

“Sorry,” she apologizes sheepishly. She lifts the camera. “Photography. I can delete it.”

She should have asked before doing that. She seriously should have asked. She feels like she’s been caught and she’s considering turning tail and running when they shrug and tell her it’s fine. She’s pretty sure she’s dreaming when she gets asked if she at least liked the bikes or if it was just for the assignment.

She says it was for the assignment, but she does like them.

Fitz smiles at her for the first time and Sophie’s legs become jello. 

Shit, how can someone look that nice while smiling?

But it doesn’t last too long because Tam asks who she is and where he’s seen her before. His head is tilted at her, dangly earrings twirling with the motion. Sophie can tell he does recognize her, at least a bit. All eyes are on her, so she feels a bit squirmy mentioning how she knows Tam, but once she does, his eyes light up and his eyebrows launch.

“Oh, Sophie. Shit.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Shit.”

Years later, it looks impossible to imagine that they’d ever been friends. They were so... different from each other, now.

They all start making semi-awkward conversation, discussing the school year and Sophie’s photography anything random they can come up with when Keefe rolls out of the school.

“Foster?”

She waves. “Oh, um. Hey.”

Keefe reaches his friends and his eyebrows crunch. He asks if they know her. Tam shrugs and says they knew each other when they were little, but they haven’t seen one another in years. Fitz admits Biana’s mentioned a Foster girl, but he doesn’t know her (Sophie’s pretty sure she’s dead. She didn’t know Biana talked about her at the house, even if it was something like measly dinner small talk.)

Keefe turns and grins at her, seeing the camera in her hand. “Yearbook again?”

She flushes. “Photography, actually.” Seeing his confusion, she continues, “I don’t know why I said Yearbook, yesterday. I’m in Photography, not Yearbook.”

Shockingly, Keefe just snorts. He muses that she’s something else before waltzing over and outstretching his hand. Sophie hands him the paper chock-full of guidelines again. Keefe starts muttering that she has a lot more crossed off than yesterday.

“You’ve still got a bit to go,” he points out.

Sophie just kinda nods. She’s mostly focusing on not letting her knees buckle in front of all of them. Her hands on the camera are sweating. It’s weird, how she’s managed to get caught in this situation. Everyone steers clear of these three, she knows, but now she’s somehow stuck in normal conversation with them. About photography, no less.

Keefe spots the street photography point and hums. He points to it, showing her the paper. “That seems interesting.” He meets her eyes. “Gonna take me up on my offer, yet, Foster?”

She swallows. “Oh, uh, street photography isn’t here, it’s-”

“On the street,” Keefe agrees, handing her back the paper. He shares one glance with his friends before meandering to his bike, slinging his leg over the seat.

Tam huffs a short laugh, grinning like he understands before he goes to hop on his own ride. Fitz is the last one behind, hands shoved in his pockets, just standing and smiling in amusement.

“You’re free, aren’t you?” Keefe implores. “We can make it quick. Drop you off back here - or wherever.”

Sophie chews on her lip. It is a tempting offer. She doesn’t really have a ride into the city planned, so it seems like the perfect opportunity. One quick ride, a few pictures, and she can leave. But that also means getting on a motorcycle. Which. . . kind of terrifies her.

“One ride, Foster,” Keefe promises, seeing the way she’s staring at the bike. “Does fifteen minutes sound good?”

Fifteen minutes is definitely enough time for her to get in a crash. Fifteen minutes is also definitely enough time for them to murder someone, but Sophie tries hard not to think about that.

Especially not when Keefe shrugs off his jacket and tosses it to her. Sophie catches it with a gasp, thankful that she doesn’t drop the camera. “Um,” she starts.

She cuts herself off when Fitz goes to his bike and pops open a back storage compartment. He snatches out a spare helmet, then waltzes back up onto the sidewalk next to her, reaching out his to trade the camera for the helmet.

Sophie swallows.

Seeing how nervous she is, he smiles, making a short nudge with his chin in the direction of the bike. “It’s up to you,” he promises.

“You won’t get hurt,” Keefe also assures. “You’ve got jeans on. And you wear that jacket and the helmet, you’ll be fine.”

She doesn’t like the fact that she has to take those precautionary measures in the first place. But, she guesses it’s just what one has to do. It’s like wearing a seatbelt in a car. This is the motorcycle’s seatbelt.

Sophie hands Fitz the camera and takes the helmet. She slips on the jacket, ignoring the heat that runs through her body at how nice it feels - and how Keefe looks at her.

Sophie clears her throat and puts the helmet on. Her fingers fumble horribly with the straps around her chin and no matter how much she tugs, she can’t get it right. Fitz has to come back over and help her, laughing gently. He narrates to her how to do it as he cinches it up for her with diligent fingers, smiling.

Sophie, however, is anything but smiling when he pulls away. There’s only one step left - to get on that bike with him, hold on tight to his waist, and pray that they don’t take her to some secondary location.

Sophie makes sure to look him in the eyes to know she’s serious. “You kill me, I kill you.”

Fitz chuckles. “Noted.”

[doodles-arts]

Leo 2003 prompt

pairing; Leonardo x Artistic!Reader

Description; Your a tiny and skittish high school girl, who struggles to pick up on social instances. Your only friend was a boy in the sewers you barely remember. However this boy turns out to be Leo, and after a little reunion, you and Leo are the best of buds. Though the artist in you can’t help but draw what it finds beautiful. a new muse is in order...

prompt; “your like a knight”

warning; graphic instances. mention of alcohol and rape. no worries!!

rating; pg-13

He had been your friend since you were little, and how did you meet? 

To be completely honest, you didn’t really remember. You sorta just met him on your way back home from school, and from then on you spoke to him through the sewer drains on the side of the streets. But once your parents caught you, you were walked to school from than on. You hadn’t seen him since high school, as your parents kept you under lock and key. The memory of a green turtle/human thing, with a blue banana that covered his head, had begun to fade away. He might have been the only friend you had at that age, because you were a peculiar child and most kids stayed away from you. But as you droned on through the years of high school, you wished that the distant memory of a child happily chatting with her turtle friend were true, were real. 

High School was a bore and sucked the life out of you, you were terrible at math, social skills and, of course, boys. So throughout freshman year you were bullied, you were used to it though. The whispering and pointing were normal to you, children were cruel and you learned that the hard way. However, through junior year, you changed, you grew up. Your drastic changed through the summer was surprising, even for yourself but your mother helped you with everything. The kids at school were intrigued by your beautiful transition. You were like an ugly duckling, growing up to be a beautiful swan. The positive attention was new, not unwelcome but unsettling. You were still awkward and kept mostly to yourself and your art. just the way you liked it. Though you were well aware that the attention was biased and petty, the students only spoke to you because you were prettier and more confident with yourself. This did sting, having never gotten positive attention because no one wanted to get to know you for you, was easy to accept, but to learn that you never got any attention because people believed you were ugly? Hurt. It was hard to accept. But looking back at your pictures as a child, you noticed how wrong the kids at school really were. You weren’t ugly, you were unkempt, wild and free. Like every child should be. So, you finally grew up and worked on the assists you had, which was fine! But you were never ugly. 

After a football game, you were keeping the time of the game, you were exhausted and began packing your things to go home. Strangely the boys of the team had come back from the locker room after you helped put the time and points equipment away. You paid the rowdy- probably drunk- boys no mind. Taking your things and walking out of the field and going home. After awhile you noticed a car strangely following you, as you stopped to look into your bag the car also stopped. you were being followed, no doubt about it. In a state of panic in the strangely quiet streets of New York, you turned and walked the other direction like you had read about before when a car follows you. Your heart fell from your chest and down into your stomach, and hammered a beat from there when you heard the tires of the car brake harshly and switch gears. 

You ran, knowing that the only way to lose a car would be to head into an alley. If they were smart, the perpetrator would leave you in the alleys and search for other prey. But perhaps tonight just wasn’t your lucky night. You were shaken to the core when the car stopped at the alley entrance you entered and the doors opened. All of them except for the driver spilled out of the truck. The Football team, obviously drunk and hungry for something you were afraid you’d be able to provide. Running down another alley way, your flight or fight instincts taking place perfectly, when you came up to a dead end, the tears began showing. Dread ran through your spine, the adrenaline you felt as you ran away, giving way for your fear. “No, no, no, no”, you whispered. You refused to live like a wimp, you didn’t want this to happen. You were going to raped and possibly killed, thrown in a hole in the ground and forgotten forever. You clutched at your bag beside you, going through all the pastel drawings you ever made in your mind. Remembering all the emotions you ever had while making them, all the drawings and paintings you had hung up in your room. God, they would be the only thing with your legacy on them, the only thing left that you held pride in. Your artwork, your mother, your father, and the only friend you ever had who genuinely cared about you. A long lost memory you were sure was just a dream.

The drunk boys crept closer to the end of the alley, calling out your name like a tune and you couldn’t help the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. This was it…

As they turned the corner after you, Leonardo heard the name, the familiar name. From that friend all those years ago. The one who drew for him and his brothers. The one who brought things from the outside world for them to see as kids. The brothers all looked at the frozen leader curiously, perhaps they did not remember the name or the (y/h/t) (y/h/c). But it did not matter, whoever you were, you were in trouble and you needed help. Leo turned to look at his brothers, they all gave a stiff nod, they agreed to help. 

As the human boys spotted you, the brothers dropped from below and wrestled with them. Knocking them out safely, ensuring that they would not be able to follow you home again, an easy defeat, the football players were clumsy and drunk. But as Leo turned to see expected you, running in fear, you stood still, watching intently. 

“I wasn’t imagining it, then…” The other boys turned to look at you, as you mumbled.

“Y-Your real!” Your tears were long gone. Your wet eyelashes a huge contrast to your huge grin. The boys took a step back as you reached in to your bag. 

Pulling out a big sketch book and flipping through the pages. Finally finding the wispy and green pastel portrait of Leo that you could remember from the almost forgotten memory of him as a child. Turning the sketchbook around, showing the picture of free lance painting of Leo in an attempt to gain there trust. The picture had a strange point of vision, where the green human creature had a big darker green back, small and innocent with a bright blue bandanna covering the creatures bald head. It was Leo alright, but nobody had the courage to say so. 

“I-it’s me (y/n), are you Leo? I remembered you as a child, I always knew you were real, not just some child fantasy!” You were ecstatic and Leo was still frozen, thankfully his brothers took over for him. Trying themselves to remember you, and even though you hardly remember their names you do remember their distinctive colors. Almost like their own brands, or merchandise. The other boys smiled at your work and quickly warmed up to you, clearly remembering your name all of the sudden. 

Leo watched from a distance, he had always remembered you, his first human friend. The first person who wanted to be his friend other than his brothers. He had felt a connection to you as a child, growing close to you before his brothers found out about you and hogged you. Excited to meet the human child. He never realized that you’d remember all of them, that you’d remember him.

How could this be? You remembered them after all this time, after the many years. You were still in elementary school, and Leo hadn’t even begun his training when he met you. How did you manage to remember? Did he and his brothers actually mean something to you, that you had remembered the memories as a highlight in your life. If this was the case, something just might have jumped in Leo's chest. 

~

After some time hanging out with you and the other brothers getting to know you, you were practically family. Raph’s loud voice scared you sometimes, some more than others. Mikey’s energy also made you skittish at first. However the boys learned to coax you in and you learned to expect the booming voices and unexpected touches. Though Donnie was very soft spoken, he tended to have his outburst from time to time. Which were a lot harder to become accustomed too. Most of the time you were with Leo, and most of the time you were drawing so you never bothered him. He enjoyed being your favorite. 

You both had gotten as close as you were when you were kids and you were ecstatic to be with your old friend again. No longer floating around a group of snobby girls who tried to gain your trust just to stab you in the back, you had real friends now.

You were an artist, and in artist always drew what they loved and what they found beautiful. Their art was to be transparent and honest. Every artist needed a muse. And who else would be the unfortunate victim to your sketching? Thankfully, realistic still-art was your obsession at the moment and Leo was the only person you knew who could stay still for more than thirty minutes. He was your muse, and after hours of staring and watching, you were never satisfied. Time and time again you were mesmerized by the strong muscles of his shoulders, the stern look in his eyebrows and the beautiful blue his irises held. 

It wasn’t long until your sketch book was filled with him in every page and your feelings of loyalty for your friend turned into love. 

~

One night as you shaded in a forgotten drawing you had made of Leo from memory-a beautiful sketch that had the leader in blue sweating and panting in pleasure. You had seen his exhausted face after an intense training. But all you could see at the moment was his pleasure ridden face on the page. You finished it and were very proud of your masterpiece. But once you remembered that this was no stranger on the page, this was your friend. You were being invasive, daydreaming of such scenarios. It was wrong. Quickly hiding it away as you picked up another unfinished piece that was less heated to patch up. Perching on your fire escape for the late night breeze in the hot summer night, you had started the sketch a day you had watched Leo meditate as he waited for you to come up to the rooftop, you felt bad making him wait to draw, but you didn’t regret it right now. You shaded and finished the last bits of his eyes, which you had memorized by heart. Coloring the blue of his eyes, unsatisfied with the exact shade of blue, which would never live up to the real thing. The blue was never light enough, but the neon light blue never held the life of his eyes either. You huffed out in pain at another failure to recreate his eyes. 

“I think it’s spot on,'' a voice whispered into your ear. You yelped and jumped in fear, almost splitting your head on your windowsill, but a three fingered green hand blocked your forehead from hitting the edge. 

You looked up in horror, he knows. He knows you’ve been stalking him to draw him now, he must think your creep now- “I didn’t know you were this good, you’ve got talent!” Leo already knew you drew him from time to time, though sometimes he didn’t notice. He knew you weren’t actually in the bathroom that long! You had been drawing him! You gaped at him, in complete horror, he’s lying. “I don’t know how you manage to make them seem so real,” he took a seat next to you. Your cheeks flushed and you had no idea how to respond. 

“Your a really good muse, you don’t move much, and you have a knack to pose when your resting.” You whispered it to him, he barely heard it. He turned to smile at you. “Well it’s an honor to be your ‘muse’”. He thinks your a creep. You pushed your insecurities away, your friend wouldn’t lie. His calm demeanor and reassurance helped you to smile back, to find some backbone and talk. You both spent the night talking about the other boys and the sketches you never got done of them. You really did try to draw them, but each time was a failure. 

“Man, your really something (y/n), out all of us you pick to draw big ol’ me. A mutant and a horrible monster. I’m flattered!” you chuckled and put a hand on his, “you aren’t a monster Leo, you’re more like a knight”

He blushed as he looked away and you looked to your dangling feet bashfully, you might have taken that a little too far. Panic rising slowly growing in your chest threaten to spill, until you felt a three fingered hand grab your own. “Than i guess that makes you the princess..” you blushed as he smiled bashfully. Maybe your fantasies of Leo weren’t so far fetched at all. 

[i-am-church-the-cat]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIA!

So, this is for @tyrus-is-endgame-fight-me for they’re birthday. I hope you have a totally marvelous supercalifragilisticexpialidocious awesome day! This was a new ship for me, and I wish I could give it the writing it deserves. Anyway, you’re amazing and totally wicked, so here you go.

————

Walker continued to glare at the blank canvas in dismay. He had been trying to paint this entire weekend, but he couldn’t find anything he wanted to create. He had gone all over town just drawing things he saw, but he couldn’t make them come alive on the canvas when he got home. He tried taking his easel to the park, but it was still too hard. He laughed at himself. Even two months after his break up with Jonah, he still couldn’t face the place where it all started, let alone the boy himself. Walker sighed and started cleaning up his paints when his alarm went off. He grabbed his backpack from the corner and headed upstairs to his kitchen.

His mom was busying around, fretting over a new recipe she wanted to try at the bakery. She turned and smiled at him when she heard Walker come up the stairs.

“Off to school?”, she asked, setting her timer.

“Yeah”, Walker replied, grabbing a muffin off the counter. “I couldn't get anywhere with painting, so I figured I should be on time today.”

“Well, maybe you’ll find something to paint at school”, she suggested dusting off her hands.

“Maybe. Look, I should head out”, Walker replied hurriedly, heading towards the door.

“Well, okay, but don’t be out too late, alright?”, his mom responded, but Walker was already out the door.

The way to school was always pretty cool. The street Walker’s family lived on had honeysuckle bushes all along the right side, but seeing as it was spring, they weren’t in bloom at the moment. The flowers had been one of the first things Walker had ever painted. He’d painted them many times over the years and they usually helped him overcome artist block, but right now, they didn’t seem to trigger any creative thinking. Probably because of all the memories with Jonah I have here, Walker thought. The memory of his ex sent a dull pain through his chest and he pushed it away as he hurried out of the neighborhood and down the street to Grant High School.

Walker walked into the school and down the hall to his locker. He barely had time to open it when two people popped up beside him. He turned to see Andi, his past love interest and now currently one of his best friends, and Libby, Walker’s best friend from elementary school and Andi’s current girlfriend.

“Are you okay?”, Libby signed when she saw how tired the boy looked.

“I’m fine”, Walker said and signed.

“You don’t look fine”, Andi commented, also signing and speaking. “What happened?”

“Nothing”, Walker insisted, “Just everyday artist’s block.”

“Is it because of Jonah?”, Libby asked.

“Of course not”, Walker scoffed, trying to show how much he didn’t care. But as two girls who had both dated Jonah before, they gave him one look in unison and he crumbled.

“Well, it might be because of Jonah”, Walker admitted. “It’s just that, we were together almost a year guys. Most of my high school memories, heck most of my memories of this town somehow can be traced back to him. I just can’t escape him.”

The girls exchanged a sympathetic look. They knew what it was like to be so wrapped up in Jonah Beck that when you finally get out of it, you’re kind of lost. They looked like they wanted to say something, but there wasn’t really a way to make it better. It just was.

Finally, the bell rang, breaking the spell, and the three of them headed to class. Libby had history first period, but Andi and Walker had PE.

Walker hated PE. He wasn’t terrible at it, he did have some athletic ability. He just would prefer to be in an art studio than a gym. He changed quickly and walked out to the gym. The teacher was standing there with a clipboard while people started to warm up. Walker stood near the side and looked for Andi while the rest of the students filtered in. He caught sight off her and was about to head over when the coach blew his whistle.

“Okay guys, listen up. Apparently, the gym classes are too full, so your principal has decided to add another one. All the kids on this list are going to the new class and will have new schedules. If I call your name, come get your schedule and head to your class. Alright, Charlie Abrams…”

The teacher continued to list off names as Walker headed over to Andi. Walker was a few steps away, but he stopped in his tracks when he heard the coach call “Walker Brodsky”. Walker changed course and headed up to the teacher and shakily grabbed his new schedule. It was a lot like his current schedule, but now his morning classes were pushed forward and he had PE before lunch instead of in the morning. Walker spared Andi a glance before heading to the changing room to head to Art. That wouldn’t be too bad, having Art in the morning, he loved Art. But his artist block only worsened as thoughts of ending up in a class with Jonah filled his head. He couldn’t face him, he doesn’t think he ever could, but he doubted he could get a class change because of his ex. With worried ponderings flying through his head, Walker made his way slowly to Art.

---

Marty dragged himself into his new PE class. At the beginning of the day, his homeroom teacher had given people new class schedules based on the added class. All his afternoon classes and one morning class got pushed up, so now, instead of ending the day with PE so he could slide right into track practice, he had PE right before lunch and then track practice after school. He preferred all of his exercise periods to be in one time-block, thanks.

Marty changed and jogged out onto the court. He looked around, but of course, none of his friends were there. He saw a few people from the track team and was about to head over before he stopped, something catching his eye. He smiled when he saw who it was and started walking over to the artistic boy. Marty probably knew Walker the least out of all his friends. He had been skeptical of the boy freshman year because he heard about his thing with Buffy. But the two assured him that was long gone, and probably a mistake on their parts.

Eventually, Walker started dating Jonah and it was mostly forgotten. When Marty and Buffy broke up, Walker had been on Marty’s side, even though they still remained friends afterward. They had never really hung out one-on-one, however, because Walker was usually with Jonah or Libby and Andi. Maybe it’s time I change that, Marty thought as he jogged up to the clearly nervous boy.

“Hey”, Marty said. Walker’s head jolted in his direction, clearly having been deep in thought.

“Hey Marty”, Walker said, flashing a smile. “Class change?”

“Yeah”, Marty confirmed. “Seems like no one else is here.”

“Oh”, Walker said, sounding relieved.

“Scared Jonah was going to be here?”, Marty asked tentatively.

“Yeah”, Walker admitted with a sigh. “Well, that and scared that I wasn’t going to know anybody, even though I’ve been going to school with these kids my whole life.”

Marty let out a chuckle. “Yeah, but it’s still comforting to see a person you’ve said more than five words to.”

Walker laughed and nodded in agreement. There was now a full smile on his face, and Marty was glad to realize he put it there. Walker turned back to Marty, who was still looking at him, and they both got caught in each other’s eyes. Neither knew what it was, but they just couldn’t seem to look away from each other. They continued to gaze at each other as the rest of the class milled around them. The coach blew his whistle and they broke out of their revelry and ran to catch up with the rest of the class.

By the end of the week, Marty had nearly forgotten about the feelings that had emerged when he had been with Walker. He was walking to track practice and listening to a playlist TJ had made him when he was suddenly brought back to the memory of these feelings. The door to the Art classroom was open and inside was Walker standing at an easel. The boy was less painting and more throwing paint at the canvas. He was covered in reds and blues and greens and it looked like the ideas were coming to quickly for him to properly put them on the canvas. Marty was mesmerized by the boy as he swept his brush through the paints and across the painting.

Marty wasn’t sure how long he stood there just watching the boy. Probably a lot more than he should’ve or what was considered normal. But Marty was unable to tear his eyes away from the image of Walker painting, and Walker was still to caught up in painting to notice the runner in the doorway. After what could’ve been an hour or a minute, Walker stopped. He was breathing hard and just staring at his creation. His hands hung down by his sides while paint slowly slide down the brush. Slowly, Walker set the brush down on the counter and removed his smock. He looked up at the door and froze in shock.

“Hey”, Marty said breathily.

“How long have you been standing there”, the boy replied shyly.

Marty shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t really know. I just saw you painting through the door and I…”, he trailed off, unsure how to explain that he had been so enraptured by Walker as he painted that he had just frozen in his tracks. So, instead of explaining, he stepped into the classroom and made his way to the counter Walker was standing at. Walker worries his lip between his teeth, but didn’t try to stop him as he went to look at the painting. It was the track field, sort of. It was like a fever dream of the track, the woods behind it coming alive under Walker’s touch. There was someone on the track with his back to the viewer, a halo shing around them.

“This is amazing, Walker”, Marty complimented in awe. He turned to the boy who was staring back at him, evaluating his reaction. At this, Walker gave Marty a relieved smile as he turned toward the painting.

“Thanks”, he said. “I saw someone running early in the morning the other day and suddenly, this image was all I could think about. The sun just lights everything up, don’t you think?”

“Yeah”, Marty agreed looking at the boy as he inspected his creation. “It’s beautiful.”

Suddenly, Walker seemed to grow nervous. He worried at the edge of his smock that was still in his hands. He seemed to search the painting for direction as he took a deep breath. Finally, he turned back to Marty and Marty was half convinced he had forgotten how to breath. Or speak. Or think.

“L-Listen. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go out with me sometime. Like as a date. It’s cool if you don’t it’s just that I really like you and I don’t want to miss this opportunity.”

Marty was frozen in place for a moment before he smiled wide. “Ye-Yeah. Yeah that sounds great, good. I’d love to go out with you”, he stammered, trying to sound nonchalant. Walker grinned and nodded.

“Cool. So, Saturday? I’ll pick you up at five?”

“What are we doing”, Marty asked, still in shock that the boy had asked him out.

“Well, I guess you’ll know on Saturday”, Walker replied with a winking before leaving the room. Marty was left in the art room with excitement in his chest and a painting that seemed to shine sun light all on it’s own.

[ginkgo-phyta]

Breaking the Ice - P.P. x Reader

Title: Breaking the Ice

Regarding: Peter Parker (Marvel) and Reader

Word Count: 1241

Content Warnings: Reader’s Mother; talk of teen pregnancy (Reader does not go through it)

Summary: You love ice skating and one day your classmate since elementary school Peter Parker witnesses you practicing and decides he’s going to ask you out, almost breaking the ice to break the ice.

A/N: Just like the last little fic I posted, this was one I wrote in 2013 but since Spider-Man is back I thought I’d share it once more to a fresh crowd! I hope you enjoy! [Again, not the best but I didn’t feel like re-writing it, and honestly even if I did I can’t be sure it would have been any better lmao]

          “Mom, what are you doing?“ You whined as your mother fuss over your appearance; patting away the nonexistent dust from your jacket vest; smoothing your hair down, and pulling the edge of your ice skating dress a bit.

          "Just making sure you look your best…” she trailed off, content with her motherly nonsense.

          “Mother, I’m going ice skating, not hanging out with boys.“ You gingerly pushed her hand away.

          ”(Y\N),“ she sighed as you put your foot up onto the dining table chair and put on your tennis shoes, "don’t you think it’s time you start dating?" 

     You stopped tying your laces and slowly looked up at her, "Mom,” you went up to where she stood leaned against the breakfast table and placed the back of your hand on her forehead, “Are you feeling okay? Are you drunk?" 

          ”(Y/N), I just don’t want you to be so lonely anymore. I mean I’m getting old and I need grandbabies!“ 

          "Oof,” you huffed. Placing a hand on your mom’s shoulder, “Mother I am not lonely. And besides, I haven’t even graduated yet; grandbabies can wait… Unless, of course, you want your daughter to be a teen mom.” You slyly added the last bit, smirking as your mother rolled her eyes.

          “(Y/N), you know thats not what I meant." 

          "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well you should be more cautious with how you phrase things or someone might misunderstand you.”  

          Your mom laughed and pushed you towards the front door, “Dont you have practice to get to? Some ice to skate on?” She jokingly asked in a not-so-angry tone.

          “Bye mom!” You shouted as you made your way out of the house, “And the next time you see me, I might be pregnant. Fingers crossed it’s a girl so you can-” you had to duck out of the way of a banana speeding towards your head before you could finish your sentence. You laughed at your mom and bid her a do with an ‘I love you.’ Then you started to walk to the ice rink.

    You strapped on your skates, tied the laces, put in your earphones and stepped out onto the ice. There was barely anybody there; just the way you like it to be; empty. But there was one person that went unnoticed by your gaze. 

    Peter Parker sat on the top row of the benches, catching up in some AP Literature when he caught sight of you on the ice. The way you gracefully slid over the opaque, crystallize surface; the way you so effortlessly jumped and twirled in the air made you seem like you were about to take flight; the amount of passion that seemed to flow from your routine- it all mesmerized Peter. 

    There was no denying that you were one of the cutest things that the boy has ever seen, but now that clumsy little girl who tripped and fell right on top of Peter in the fifth grade has evolved into a gallant dancer. And although he found you “gross” in first grade because he was convinced you had 'cooties’, he was now older and thought you were, well, gorgeous… and not at all gross. 

   So as this love-struck boy known to the school as Peter Parker, and known to the rest of the world only as Spider-Man, sat on those benches and watched this oblivious girl (Y/N) (Y/L/N) as her skate’s blades etched line paths into the ice, he thought to himself: “I’m gonna ask this girl out on a date today…. okay maybe after she’s done with those figure eights.”

      “Oof.” you grunted as your butt landed on the hard ice. Needless to say it hurt, but you were used to it. “Does iron deficiency cause unbalanced-ness?” You wonder, making a mental note to Google it when you get to your bag.

    You sat there for a few moments, just looking out at the ice with a blank gaze. When you heard someone speak, “Do you need help; are you hurt?” You merely turn your face to the side to see the person. It was Peter Parker sticking his head out through the doorway that led onto the rink.

         "No offense Peter, but you don’t have any skates on so I think I’ll pass.“ You nervously laughed at the expression on his face: wide eyes, surprised by the fact that you remember his name.

         "Don’t worry,” he recovered quickly, “I have amazing balance.“ He retorted with a  smirk, as if he was telling an inside joke to which only he knew the meaning.

 Peter’s POV

    I walked out onto the ice using my super amazing Spiderman skills to balance as well as I could. I looked up to see (Y/N) staring at me with an expression that read 'surprised’ and 'vaguely horrified.’ Then I realize that it’s abnormal for people to walk on slippery ice without, well… slipping. So I suddenly stuck my arms out and flailed them as if I were losing balance

          "Woah…Woah…Wo- AH!” I tried to accidentally fall so I wouldn’t, like, break my tailbone or something but then I actually slipped and actually fell. And I think I broke my tailbone.

 Second Person’s POV

    You burst out in laughter as Peter fell right onto his butt, throwing your head back to emphasize how funny you found it. When you stopped and looked over at him, he was rubbing the small of his back with a slight smile/wince on his face. When he saw how hard you had laughed, Peter couldn’t help but chuckle himself. It was really adorable when you laughed and he had a feeling that made him want to make you laugh more.

          “Well, so much for the help…” he breathed, scratching the back of his neck.

         "Eh,” you waved your hand through the air, dismissing the thought, “It’s no problem.” Peter smiled and you and then shyly looked down, laughing a little- seemingly at himself.

         "What’s wrong?“ You questioned, a wider smile growing on your face. 

         ”'What’s wrong’ is that I came over here to help you up, make sure you were alright, and then ask you if you would like to get a coffee with me; but I ended up just falling and making a fool of myself.“ 

    Your heart and stomach jumped at the same time, as if they were playing double-dutch. He wanted to get coffee with you?

          "You didn’t make a fool of yourself,” you stated, standing up and offering him a hand. He gladly took it and gingerly stood back up on the ice, stumbling side to side a few times. You brushed the ice off of your backside the skated over towards the little doorway exit, leaving Peter in the dust with his brows furrowed. “Now come on, what are you with waiting for?” You looked back at him, a gleam in your eyes that didn’t go unnoticed.

         "W-what do you mean. Go where….?“ Peter asked, thinking you had already rejected him when you didn’t explicitly say yes to coffee. Well he didn’t actually ask you but he had hoped you got the message.

          "To get coffee, silly.” You smirked and then ran off as fast as you possibly could with ice skates on.

    You most certainly did get the message. Peter stood dumbfounded for a good few second before letting out a breathy chuckle with a shake of his head and running after you

Well, now, isn’t Mom going to be surprised.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Again, this is pretty old and I have been getting this urge to write again after like 4 years so I decided to post some of my old work from my Quotev/Archive of Our Own to sort of get started. Thanks for reading - S xx

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

damn it, here I'm again: how about sterek + (those are all so perfect dear lord someone send help) "I picked up what I thought was a stray on the side of the road last night and it turns out you’re a werewolf. Um. Can I offer you some pancakes?"

This was such a fun prompt to work with! (also on ao3)

Stiles had a history with strays.

Ever since he could walk, toddling around the Stilinski home as fast as his tiny little legs could carry him, he had an affinity for animals. More specifically, taking in any animal in need.

Living in a residential neighborhood adjacent to the local woods meant that he had never been lacking in that department. He couldn't throw a stone around their neighborhood without finding a baby bird that had fallen from its nest or a dog that had wandered out of its yard.

In the creek behind their house, buried in the woods by a groove of black willows and white alders, he used to catch redwood salamanders and Cascades frogs. He would wade knee deep into the water in search of the sneaky amphibians, never caring that his pants got soaked.

He would keep them in an old fish tank, arranging algae covered rocks in the water of the terrarium so his new pets could spend time on land. He used to spend hours digging up worms in the backyard so he could feed his amphibians.

Of course, they eventually died — wild animals weren't meant to be in captivity, after all — and Stiles had been devastated. He had cried for hours, until his eyes were red and puffy and his throat was sore.

A few months later, he found an abandoned squirrel pup in their front yard. There had been no nest in sight, nor any mother squirrel searching for her lost baby.

The pup was cold to the touch and Stiles refused to risk letting the pup freeze to death while waiting for its mother. John had reluctantly agreed and allowed Stiles to adopt the squirrel.

For the next several weeks, he dutifully nursed the squirrel pup with an eyedropper full of puppy milk. He set up a nest for it inside, composed of old t-shirts and ripped socks that made a perfect bed for the tiny pup.

It had been a bittersweet day when Claudia had informed Stiles that it was time for the squirrel to leave. They had released it in the backyard where it ran right up a nearby sycamore tree, chattering away as though saying goodbye.

After the squirrel came a blind kitten they found wandering through the neighborhood, mewling pitifully. Stiles had snuck the kitten into his room and cared for it under his parents' noses for weeks until his mom went looking for something in his room and stumbled onto his little secret.

Unfortunately, with Stiles in elementary school while both of his parents worked full-time, they just didn't have the time or resources to care for a special needs cat. But luckily there was an older woman who ran a cat sanctuary a few towns over.

After taking the cat in, she had assured Stiles that he could visit anytime he wanted. And he did, his mom driving him over every other weekend.

Next came an entire litter of puppies that he begged to keep, only for his dad to painstakingly explain why adopting six Tibetan mastiffs was not a very good idea. And after that was the mountain lion cub that he somehow found on one of his exploration through the woods.

John nearly had a heart attack when he came home from a double shift to find his son cuddling the baby of a two hundred pound killing machine.

He then had to inform Stiles that a mountain lion was not a pet. Park rangers had been called in and the cub was safely returned to its den for its mother find.

But Stiles' affinity for taking in strays never wavered. Even as he got older.

In high school, he worked at the vet clinic with his friend Scott, just so he could help out any animals in need. It was better than working some crappy retail job like many of his classmates.

And it was a great reprieve from the everyday stress of high school. If he was ever feeling particularly stressed, he would just call up Deaton and volunteer for an additional shift.

Basically, his job consisted of bottle feeding kittens and doing trial introductions for potential pet adopters. It was a pretty sweet gig apart from the occasional bittersweet moments when animals were adopted.

Even after he moved out of Beacon Hills to attend Stanford he made a point of dedicating his time to animals, getting a job at the local pet store just outside of town. So it was no surprise to anyone that while on break in Beacon Hills, he didn't hesitate to pull over to check on what looked like a stray dog standing on the side of the road.

He had been driving in from Stanford, having enough days off for Thanksgiving break to warrant the drive back to Beacon Hills. Drumming his fingers against Roscoe's steering wheel while imagining the amazing meal his dad would be making in a few days, Stiles had been absorbed in his own thoughts.

Until he noticed a dark shape in the shoulder of the forest road leading into town. His interest immediately piqued, he had pulled over to get a better look at whatever the dark shape was.

Lo and behold, it was a dog. A stray by the looks of it.

The dog was huge, probably some sort of wolf dog hybrid that someone had purchased on a whim then realized the complications of the hybrid. Its coat was jet black with a few grizzled spots around its muzzle.

Fortunately, the dog didn't seem undernourished or injured in any way. And it wasn't wearing a collar let alone a tag bearing an address or phone number.

But what really caught Stiles' attention was the dog's eyes. He hadn't thought dogs could have hazel eyes with that much green in them, captivated by the specks of gold and rivers of bluish silver in the canine's irises.

His heart instantly captured, Stiles had coaxed the dog closer with a few soft words and careful touches. He had been glad to find that the dog was a gentle giant, docile and sweet as Stiles scratched it behind its ears.

With plans to take the dog to the vet clinic first thing in the morning to check for an implanted ID chip, Stiles had corralled the dog into his Jeep and continued his drive home. His dad hadn't even bothered to act surprised when Stiles showed up on the front doorstep with a stray in tow.

But, of course, because Stiles' life could never be normal for more than a few months at a time, it turned out that the stray he had picked up was much more than meets the eye. He found that out the hard way the next morning.

After a wondrous night curled up in bed where he actually got the recommended eight hours of sleep, Stiles woke early in the morning craving pancakes. But not just any pancakes; his mother's famous pancakes.

They were fluffier than a cloud and had just a hint of vanilla, making them perfect for any kind of syrup under the sun from traditional maple to boysenberry. His mom had always made them on special occasions, especially holidays, which made them perfect for Thanksgiving break.

Once he brushed his teeth and took care of some other hygienic needs, he tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen, careful not to wake his dad. He hurried past the living room couch where the stray dog he had picked up had spent the night, too preoccupied with his thoughts to pause and greet the dog.

He was in the middle of flipping pancakes, adding an extra bit of flair the way his mom had taught him, when he heard the telltale pad of bare feet on the kitchen tiles. Beaming, he looked over his shoulder, cheerfully greeting, "Mornin', pops— Uh... You're not my dad..."

He was pretty much stating the obvious since the tall, bearded, naked man standing in the kitchen was clearly not his father. The aforementioned bearded, naked man said as much, simply stating, "Uh, no."

"Are-Are we being robbed?" Stiles asked, turning the heat on the stove down and tightening his grip on the metal spatula in his hand in case they really were being robbed. "Because, I gotta say, this is fucking weird, man. You're not even wearing pants."

The mystery man's eyes widened almost comically as he tensed and rushed to cup his hands over his crotch. His cheeks flushed, drawing Stiles' attention back to his eyes. His eyes that were oddly familiar.

Hazel-green with gold and silver. Holy shit.

"Shit, you're a werewolf, aren't you?" Stiles groaned, feeling his own face flush. He had practically kidnapped someone! Because he thought they were a stray!

The yet to be introduced man just nodded, still looking embarrassed as all hell. Stiles let out a sigh, "Keep an eye on the pancakes. I'll be right back."

He waited for the werewolf to nod before he slipped out of the kitchen and back upstairs to the laundry room where he rifled around for a clean pair of pajama pants. After finding his baggiest pair, he hurried back downstairs where he was met with an eyeful of the werewolf's firm ass and the tattoo between his shoulder blades.

"Uh, here. These should fit ya," Stiles announced after clearing his throat, holding out the red pajama pants that just so happened to be patterned with white dog bones. Turning his head to give Mr. No Name some privacy, he wandered back over to the stovetop where his pancakes were still cooking. "I'm Stiles, by the way."

"Derek," the Sheriff's voice returned, managing to make Stiles' cheeks flush even deeper. He craned his neck to take a peek at his dad who was embracing the now only half naked werewolf, a friendly smile on his face. "Son, this is Derek Hale, my new deputy."

"Of course it is," Stiles mumbled, hanging his head as he poked at one of the pancakes with the spatula. Sparing another glance over his shoulder, he watched Derek and his dad plop down at the kitchen table.

"So... Can I offer you some pancakes?" Stiles asked, meeting Derek's mesmerizing eyes.

"Yeah, why not," Derek answered smoothly, sending Stiles a sly wink when the Sheriff wasn't looking.

It may have been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life but it made one hell of a 'how I met your father' story.

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically,

Summary: reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: fluff/ eventual Smut

Warnings/Includes: cursing, graphic descriptions of cases, crime scenes and mentions of rape and sexual assault. mentions of blood, guns, murder and other basic criminal minds stuff

Word count: 7.3k

a/n: I'm new to the fandom but i'd love to add more to this if it does well <3 let me know what you think

chapter one

It took Y/N longer than she had hoped to finally catch up to him. He seemed to go from the cute little boy with a bow tie who sat beside her in her kindergarten class to working for the FBI by the time you graduated high school. It wasn’t fair that hehe happened to be smarter than anyone on earth causing him to test out of elementary school before you even got to know him.

Spencer Reid had an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and the sweetest personality to match. You saw him around as he grew up, coming home to see his mom often and minding his business as he wandered around in his free time.

He liked to sit on the swings at the abandoned park across the street from your house, it was a place he would go to at the most random hours of the day for years on end. Every time he was in the area, he visited the swing. And She’d watch him from her window seat in her bedroom. Pretending to read, but really she was watching him read.

It was years of watching, from the ages of 13 to 18 when he was coming back and forth from working on his second Ph.D., and she was still trying to make it through high school.

But she never walked out there and talked to him, she knew nothing real about him other than his name and that he was smart. The town told rumours about him being an alien or a government experiment because there was no way a kid could be so smart, but you never believed them. You liked to keep to the idea that he was sweet, smart, and special.

He stopped coming to the swing for a while after they turned 18, her mother had said something about Spencer Reid’s mother being admitted to the nursing home she worked at and y/n drew the conclusion that he’d finally left the small Nevada town you were seemingly trapped in.

Y/N kept tabs with him online, as weird as it felt to her she had a strange sense of pride when it came to Spencer’s achievements. That was the kid she sat beside in kindergarten out there working for the FBI saving lives and changing the world. It inspired her.

So sure enough, when she moved to Virginia to join the FBI academy it was the perfect opportunity to finally be on an even playing field with him. An excuse to reach out to him and catch up, get to know him. She was technically older than him, by 10 months, and yet somehow he seemed to feel unreachable, wiser and more of an adult than she ever would be.

At 26 she finally bumps into him again. She’s carrying boxes into her new apartment with help from a moving company when he leaves the apartment across the hall from her.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer Reid?” she said with the biggest smile spreading across her face.

“Hi?” he says, not having any clue who she is.

“You might not remember me, I’m Y/N Y/L/N we were in kindergarten together in Nevada?”

He takes a moment to think, she watches his eyes flutter as he recalls the memory to his mind. She is mesmerized by how his brain works, like a filing cabinet he can just pull memories out. “Oh, yes we sat together the first day and you got in trouble later that afternoon for adding water to the sand because I had said it was too dry to build a model of the Pyramid of Giza.”

Her smile gets even bigger, “yes! I hope this isn’t weird but I’ve kept up with you over the years, I’ve always thought it was so amazing that someone from my town was off doing incredible things! I can’t believe I’m moving in across from you that makes it look so much worse oh god, I promise I’m not stalking you!” She rambled anxiously.

He laughed, “it’s okay I believe you! I’m surprised honestly that you remember me, we were what? 5? That’s a good memory you must have?”

She walked over to him and out of the way of the men moving her boxes into her apartment, that’s what she was paying them for anyway. She set the box down on the floor beside herself to free her arms, “I think your first ever friend would leave an impact on your memory.”

“We did have a good bond before I was transferred out,” he recalls with a smile.

“Well,” she smiled right back, “I also work with the FBI if you want to get coffee before work on Monday and catch up? See if there’s a possibility of being friends once again?”

“Yeah!” he answers abruptly, “I leave around 7:15 normally and I always go to the little cafe down the road, what department are you in?”

“VICAP,” she said, “just a floor above the BAU, surprised I’m only running into you now”

“You sure you’re not stalking me?” he joked.

She shook her head lightly, her cheeks hurting from smiling so hard. “Promise, just inspired by you, that’s all.”

He chuckled to himself, almost shocked that such a lovely person would be inspired by him. “Well, thank you. I’ll let you get back to moving in and I will see you on Monday Y/N.” he said with a small wave and walked down the corridor.

She sighed to herself, this was going to be amazing.

---

Y/N had barely unpacked anything by the time Monday had rolled around. She spent most of her time working on her bedroom organization, leaving a mess of boxes everywhere else. Going through her closet to find the best outfit for her first-morning commute with Spencer.

Her job didn’t require as much fieldwork as he did, so she could wear anything she wanted to the office as long as it was professional. She settled on black flared dress pants, a nice white turtleneck, the watch her family gave her when she graduated from the academy and her cute healed wedge boots.

She grabbed her purse and wallet, ensuring she had her keys and badge in there before unlocking her safe and clipping her gun to her belt. She grabbed her go bag and coat and draped them over one arm, holding her purse in the other.

With everything she needed, she walked to her front door, turning off her alarm just to change the setting to protect her empty apartment. She closed and locked the door behind herself just as Spencer walked out into the hallway.

“Good morning Spencer,” she said, cheerful as ever.

“You’re awfully cheerful for this time of day,” he yawned after speaking.

“Late night?” she asked, joining him as he walked towards the building entrance.

“We had an emergency case this weekend that kicked my ass, I’ve only been home for 15 hours. Hopefully, today is just a desk day,” he yawned again. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired as well, from moving this weekend.”

“Oh I’m exhausted, normally I don’t leave till quarter to 8, living farther away now is going to suck a bit.”

“At least our building is nice,” he adds.

“It seems wonderful so far.” He held the door for her as they walked into the parking lot, he dug her keys from her bag, “do you want to take my car?”

“Sure, seeing as I don’t have a car, I normally take the subway,” he said softly, walking to the passenger side and opening the door as he heard the door unlock.

“Well if you want a ride every morning I don’t mind, even If you need rides to emergency cases,” she smiled softly.

Spencer insisted on buying her coffee, saying it was only fair for driving him. But really it was because he wanted to spoil her, ever since she said she was inspired by him his mind hasn’t been able to stop playing that sentence on loop. He’s completely enamoured by her, willing to do whatever it takes to get on her good graces. Not realizing she’s willing to do the same for him.

In no time she’s pulling up to the main building, both of them showing their badges before being allowed access into the parking structure of their building. Y/N parked close to the main elevator, having impeccable luck with getting that spot in the garage.

“We still have time before we’re officially on the clock, if you wanted to come meet my team?” He offered, hitting the button in the elevator for floor 3. His floor.

“I’d love to meet the legend that is Penelope Garcia,” she smiled.

“She is wonderful,” he agreed with a smile.

The elevator dinged and she felt her heart drop into her stomach thinking of how Spencer was going to introduce her. He walked with her towards the glass doors, holding them open for her as she walked into the bullpen.

All eyes were suddenly on Spencer and Y/N, so many faces she’s never seen before, and 2 she knows too well from her research on the BAU. She smiled lightly as she walked towards them all. Spencer not far behind her.

“Good morning,” Spencer smiled a small pressed-lipped smile. “This is agent Y/N Y/L/N, she works up in VICAP, she was one of my best friends in elementary school.”

She smiled, so that’s how. “Hello!” She waved, “It’s so nice to meet you all,”

“Derek Morgan,” the tall dark and handsome one reached his hand out for yours.

“Oh, I don’t shake hands sorry,” she said, grabbing her right middle finger with her left hand and smiling lightly.

He laughed, “wow pretty boy, how come you never told us you have a twin?”

“Do you not shake hands either?” She asked him, “we really do have a lot of catching up to do Spence.”

“Emily Prentiss, it’s lovely to see Spence bring in new friends.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve always admired the BAU, I’ve actually compiled a few of the cases you’ve worked on this year, I’m pretty good at finding patterns even the system overlooks.”

“Oh yes, Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve seen your name on all the emails, thank you you’ve sent some of the best-connected cases to us, you’ve brought justice to people who we would have never connected to cases,” JJ said enthusiastically, “I was actually just about to tell Hotch about the newest one you sent me.”

“It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve been carefully looking over this case for 2 years now I knew you’d all be able to help with it. It’s right up your ally,” she nervously laughed.

“You sent in the files on the family annihilator that was going after people he believed to be decedents of Cain from the bible right?” David Rossi asked.

She nodded her head and sighed, “yeah everyone told me it was a stretch to catch onto but when I noticed all the men were from the same online ancestry family tree I knew you guys needed to see it.”

“That was specifically interesting, the death of his own brother led him to seek revenge on the father of murder,” Spencer agreed.

“So what’s this new one you’ve brought us?” Derek asked.

“Oh, would you like to pitch it to us? We’re all here we can meet you in the briefing room before your shift starts upstairs?” JJ offered.

“Oh sure,” she smiled, finally it was her time to show off.

Soon enough, Aaron Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia and Jenifer Jareau were all staring at you in the briefing room.

“In Wichita Kansas, there have been a string of murders over the last 6 years that have all been incredibly, creepily similar,” she started explaining as she handed out the case files to everyone.

“Each victim is female, 16 to 24, they’ve all been strangled with rope while completely naked, signs of brutal sexual assault, binding and torture. They’ve all been found wrapped in shower curtains and placed in various public locations. Clearly a sign of remorse with how he keeps them covered but still a taunt that we can’t find him even now that he’s 6 victims deep.”

“Clarise Richardson, victim number 1 was raped, strangled with rope and left by an underpass. She was found in 1998, the M.E said she was dead 16 hours when they found her, COD was asphyxiation. Her family reports she was last seen at least 73 hours before she was found. So he kept her for a while. There were fibres under her nails of green carpet, either she was held at someone's house or in a van with carpet like they had in the 70s and 80s.”

“Were there any fingerprints or DNA on the bodies?” Prentiss asked.

“Yes, there was a sperm sample retrieved on victim number 5, Sharon Flynn. Most likely he wore a condom for the rest of his rapes and he wasn’t in the system already. Either he never ejaculated in earlier rapes before he grew to murder or his victims never came forward before 1998.”

“which is highly likely, we saw in the EARs case in California how hard it was to get the men and women who were raped to even come forward. There were 4 confirmed cases in the news before more came forward with similar stories. It’s seen as a shameful thing when in reality it’s just giving them more power if they believe they’ll never be caught.” Spencer explained.

“Yes, it’s very hard to come forward when it happens to you,” she agreed before quickly hanging subject. “I’ve been searching for any rapes in the area with similar MO, choking, BDSM, ropes, vans with green carpet, and I’ve found 3 women who claimed to be raped by a man at festivals the late 70’s who had an orange van with green carpet who bonded them up in a very intricate form of bondage that tightened every time they squirmed to entice them not to move. And from my research, that's the same pattern of rope as the rope burn on the 6 bodies we have.”

“All 6 of them are fairly similar it’s just their dumpsites that sets them apart. He didn’t have one strict area that he stuck to, he seems to have no problem travelling to them.” Emily said, flipping through the files.

“I’m thinking he has a job the requires him to still use his van. Like a travelling plumber, a phone or computer tech, home surveillance or maybe even he’s with Jehovah's witness or the Mormon church. It would explain him being able to get into these women’s houses and neighbourhoods long enough to pick someone, learn their schedule and grab them.” Y/N explained.

“Garcia, can you look into those businesses, as well as independent contractors, satellite companies, mailmen, and anyone else who might have been on the job by the victim's houses on the dates and times they were last seen,” Hotch asked.

“Absolutely, I’ll also run the DNA samples in my other databases.”

“I was about to ask you to do that, I think he might have children. There is a very large gap between the rapes and the jump to rape and murder, if you could run the saliva sample from victim 3 that's on her neck with any foster system or genealogy company to see if he has a son or uncle we can trace his sample to?”

“That's a great idea, I’ve never thought to do that,” Garcia smiled. “I like you, you’re a smart cookie!”

“Looks like we’re headed to Wichita,” Hotch said. “Do you think VICAP would be mad if we stole you for a few days? You have more connections with the Wichita police than we do, they might cooperate more If they know a friendly face.”

“Absolutely, let me grab my go-bag from upstairs!” Y/N jumped up, “I’ll be right back down!”

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, And with that, she was out the door.

“Reid if you don’t marry her I will,” Penelope said softly.

“Okay.” He blushed.

—

She took a seat beside Reid on the jet, the two of them chatting amongst themselves for a while before they were called for the second briefing.

“So local PD think they have a recent victim from this weekend they want us to check out,” Penelope said over video chat. “she’s a little different than the others. Katie Newton, 27 was found bound to her bed, already having passed and was being assaulted when her husband came home. He screamed at the guy who was only wearing a ski mask and “tight-y white-y’s” as the husband described. He grabbed his bag and clothes with him but he left her tied up with the little time he had to knock the husband out of the way and run out.”

“Did he get any other identification marks on the unsub?” Y/N asked.

“He said he was pasty white, 5’8 and he didn’t talk. He didn’t scream, nothing, he just grabbed his things and ran. He does however remember he had a very large brown birthmark on his chest covering the right nipple down to his stomach.”

“Okay that’s good to know, why do they think it’s our guy?” Rossi asked.

“Blood found on the rope she was tied up with can match back to 13 different women. 6 of the murders that Y/N brought to us, 1 of the rapes she found and 5 other break-in and rapes of other women in the area.”

“Holy shit,” Y/N whispered to herself.

“Well done on finding this one Y/N, this one is going to be big.” Morgan complimented her with a smile.

“Thanks,” she smiled back, “I didn’t expect any of this when I connected the 6 of them originally. This is insane.”

“have you ever been in fieldwork like this?” Hotch asked.

“At the academy, I was combat trained, I have all my clearances and I’m a great shot. I’m good on my feet and I tested perfectly on hostage talk down.” She tried not to brag but this was almost as important as a job interview.

“Well damn,” Morgan nodded in approval. “We might just have to seal you full time.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all!”

“Good,” hotch smiled, something he didn’t do often. “I’m going to send you and Reid to the M.E to see what else we can find out about these new break-in homicides. Prentiss and Rossi, I want you to travel to the last dumpsite and the latest crime scene to see what else could connect them. Morgan and JJ come with me to the station to set up communication with the local PD and media we don’t need them naming him like they did with BTK.”

“Garcia, would you also widen the search for anyone convicted of sexual misconduct, flashing, stalking, break-ins where underwear was stolen or and peeping toms? Go all the way back to the 70s. If any of them are now working for any businesses that have vans and require him to travel. This guy has to have a mistake somewhere that you will find.” Y/N asked one last time.

“Got it, genius girl, over and out.”

—-

The bureau had the funds for rooms for the main team, meaning Y/N had to double up with someone and she had to decide who once they landed and headed to the hotel.

“It wouldn’t be weird if we got a room with two queen beds right?” She asked Spencer, “it would give us a chance to catch up in our downtime like a sleepover we never had as kids.” She nervously rambled in the SUV as Reid drove.

“No I don’t mind, It would be fun if we get any sleep in this case. This one seems like it will be a bit of a brain rattler.” Reid agreed with a soft pressed-lipped smile.

They booked their rooms, dropped off their things and all headed their separate ways. The M.E’s office was close to the police station, the two of you in an SUV followed Hotch, JJ and Morgan in another down the road.

The bodies had all been cremated or buried shortly after being found, there wasn’t anything fresh enough to examine for them but they did have access to all the information on all the cases.

“I’ve been the medical examiner here for the last 30 years,” the nice old man said as he led them down the hall to the storage room. “These ones have all been some of the worst cases I’ve seen here. So much so that I keep them all in their own boxes just in case a day like today ever happens.”

“That is very helpful for us thank you so much!” She smiled at him as he held the storage door open.

“They’re all labelled by name and date. If you have any questions about tests or need me to run more with what we have left just give me a holler!” He said as he left the room.

Y/N sighed. “Why do I feel like this is going to take a million years?”

“I can read 20,000 words a minute, it will take me 3 hours to read everything in this room. Luckily we only need to read these few boxes.” Spencer pointed at the wall.

“Okay boy wonder, stop showing off,” she smiled, taking the Victim # 5 case box down first. “She was the first one I put into the system when I joined VICAP.”

“Is that why you sent this case to JJ?”

“Partly,” she sighed again. “There was the emotional attachment of this being my first case but there were just too many connections I knew you guys could bring justice to her family. She was so young.”

Spencer opened a box and she watched as his eyes darted across the pages as he flipped through them. She was mesmerized by how he could do that. But he was probably even smarter than god so it made sense.

“This is interesting. They found LSD in the system of the 3 rapes from back in the day which isn’t that uncommon for the time period or the places where they were abducted, but what’s strange is the amount. This is enough LSD to make someone go insane, no one in their right mind would willingly take this much LSD?” Spencer said.

“They were all found 2 days later dehydrated and alone in the middle of nowhere, there’s no way of knowing if more women didn’t have this happen and died where he left them.”

“He is probably in his 50’s now. How fit would he have to be to still be able to break into houses and rape and murder women?” Spencer asked.

“Well that might be just why he stopped dumping, he might have a bad back and can't lift the dead weight. He is more willing to get caught in someone's house so that he doesn’t have to do the dumping, he can just leave after. 5 of the 6 home invasions were with women who lived alone or husbands who worked night shifts. So they wouldn’t be home. He watched them long enough to know when he could successfully get away with this.” Y/N explained as she flipped through boxes.

“And the rope technique our last victim was found in is exactly the same as the rope burns as the others you’re correct,” Spencer complimented her. “He might have ex-girlfriends or even an ex-wife who he would have tried BDSM on and she didn’t like it, so now he feels like he has to do it this way. When we deliver the profile we should alarm the public about him to draw out any women who would have willingly tried something with our unsub.”

Y/N nodded as he spoke, agreeing with everything. “That could have even been the original stressor, all the women are pretty vanilla, I talked to the husbands over the phone and the original rape victims. They weren’t into trying anything like this in their free time. 2 of the rapes were also virgins. They all had good jobs and good grades, they were outstanding, low-risk members of the community. He might be getting revenge on the women who wouldn’t indulge in this fantasy.”

“He probably feels a lack of control in his personal life, maybe he even has a more dominating wife who he feels he can't stand up to so this is how he deals with it.” Spencer agreed.

“Let's go see Hotch, I think we should deliver the profile.”

—-

They walked into the police station, gliding through the doors like they owned the place. Emily and JJ watched as they walked over to hotch with the exact same energy. Both speaking with their hands and rambling about what they had found.

“So he’s a fit, early 50’s, white male. Married, probably with kids, works with or owns a van. He has a problem with authority in his own life, he feels like he is in a submissive role all day be it from a female boss who’s always on his ass or his wife. It’s possible he even has only daughters and no sons. He feels emasculated, surrounded by women, which is why he started taking these women originally to rape them with BDSM-like acts to finally have that control he lacks in his everyday life.” Y/N explained. “He wouldn’t be very handsome, he would have issues speaking with most women, he keeps to himself, he might have even failed out of jobs involving the police or security, he wants to be in a place of power but he has none of the social skills to accomplish what he wants. I would even look into local army cadets or boy scouts he could be a very old member or the father of someone in one of those groups. His affinity for binding them up and the types of ropes he used are very common BDSM ropes but the knots are reminiscent of ones my brothers would do in at Navy cadets.”

“You got all that from the M.E?” Derek said, shocked at how good she was at this.

“I’ve been staring at his work for 2 years, every time a case from this town came in I checked into it to tie it to this guy. I don’t know what it is but this one gets to me, like BTK or Ed Kemper, these men have specific vendettas against women, they need to dominate women because they have a strong mother or wife in their presence. I know the type of man he is and I want to see him rot in prison.”

Spencer walked over to another table, spreading out a map and beginning to look at the geographical profile. Making down the 3 rapes and their dumpsites, the 6 abducted women and their dumpsites as well as the 6 home invasion homicides. Narrowing down on the geographical profile to find his comfort zone.

Y/N stood beside him watching him draw perfect circles over the map, placing a dot right in the middle. “He either lives or works in this area. Everything is within 35 miles of this area.”

Hotch took out his phone and called Garcia, placing the phone on the table with the speaker on. “Hello my lovelies, what can I do for you?”

“Have you narrowed anything down?” Y/N asked.

“Yes, I have 117 orange vans originally bought in the late ’70s that are still registered to men in this area all between the ages of 45 and 60. 63 of them work in home security, 13 of those have a son in boy scouts and 4 of those have prior peeping tom allegations.” She explained.

“Any of the 4 look interesting?” Hotch asked.

“We have Travis Johnson, 55 he works for Acorn Security, he was doing service in each town that a murder took place the same week they went missing. He is married and has been since 1980 right when he stopped raping and his 5th and last daughter was born the same week that Clarice Richardson was murdered in 1998. They took in a foster child to give him a boy 3 years ago who is in boy scouts, and has all his badges in you guessed it, knot tying.”

“Do we have his home and work address?” Morgan asked.

“Yes of course I do chocolate thunder, they’ve been sent to you already. I’ve also sent a list of his appointments for today, he might be on the hunt.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan smiled at the phone.

“It's what they pay me the big bucks for.”

She hung up and hotch immediately started handing out bullet-proof vests. “Time to catch him.”

Spencer rested a hand on your back as he passed you, smiling as if to say 'good job'.

Y/n grabbed her vest and her go-bag and quickly changed into something more suited for chasing after a runner. It almost always came to that in her experience. She came back out in jeans and a white long sleeve shirt tucked in, her vest on and her hair up. She placed her earpiece in and straightened out her gun. Making sure the clip was full and adding an extra one to her vest.

“Ready?” She asked Spencer as he tightened his vest.

“Let’s do this.”

They split up, Prentiss Rossi and JJ went to his house while Reid, Morgan, Hotch and Y/L/N took a squad of local cops to where the unsub was supposedly doing his house calls.

They slowly drove through the neighbourhoods, lights off just paroling up and down the streets. They saw an orange van parked on the side of the street, they watched as the unsub got out of the driver's seat, grabbing a bag and walking up to a woman’s house. Slowly they all got out of the SUV, Morgan and Hotch taking the back while Reid and Y/L/N took the front door. They waited for confirmation that he wasn’t alone in this home, before going in.

They could hear a woman talking and then there was a scream, “I’m going in,” Y/L/N said, Kicking the door down before Reid took the lead, Y/N following behind him.

“Travis Johnson? FBI!” Spencer yelled.

The two of them cleared the main room, working their way to the hallway, Reid let her take the lead to the bedroom where they heard the struggle.

“Travis put down the rope and let her go,” Y/N said slowly as he walked into the room, gun pointed.

“And why should I?” He panicked, holding the woman against his chest, she was crying gripping onto the rope he was holding tightly around her throat.

“I’m a huge fan of your work!” Y/N said. “I work for VICAP, I’m the one who had to put each and every single one of your victims in the system. I know exactly how much you’re into control and BDSM, it’s honestly surprising that you have to force these women into it, why are women so against letting a big strong man control them anymore?” She said softly as she lowered the gun and her voice.

“You know, I’ve always thought BDSM was super sexy, I’d love to be tied up and taken control of, if you put down the rope how would you like to have a willing participant one day?” She teased him, getting closer and closer, she could see he was rock hard. He loosened the rope and pushed her to the side, stepping forward towards Y/N who quickly flipped him to the floor and cuffed him.

“Travis Johnson you are under arrest for the rape and murder of over 12 women. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one will be appointed for you. If you chose to share anything without a lawyer present you have the right to stop at any time. Is that clear?”

She single handily lifted him to his feet and dragged him out of the room as the men in the hall just watched with awe.

“You’re a little bitch you know that?” The unsub said as he struggled in her grasp.

She slammed him against the hallway wall, pressing right up against his back, whispering in his ear “oh so now you have a big mouth huh, finally feel like you can talk to a woman who isn’t tied down? I’m in control here, you’re my little bitch you hear me? Only good boys get to speak to me.” She said as she pulled him back off the wall and handed him off to local PD. “Have fun being a little bitch in prison Travis.”

She stood there with her arms crossed catching her breath as the adrenalin shook through her body.

“Well done Y/L/N,” Hotch and Morgan put their fists out to give her props.

“How would you like to join the team for good?” Hotch asked? “we’ve been looking for an extra hand.”

“Absolutely!”

—

They were going to spend the night in Wichita, all agreeing to spend the night getting drinks at the local bar suggested by the PD. Piling into the SUV all together with Spencer offering to DD.

“How much time have you put into Travis?” Prentiss asked in the back seat beside Y/N.

“Sharon Flynn was the first case I ever put into my system 2 years ago. Her case looked so gruesome and evil it never left my mind. So then when Alice Webster, number 6 came in I did some more digging and found the 4 before Sharon and the 3 rapes, I knew it was cold for a while but something about him always stuck with me. And for some reason last week when I emailed the info to JJ out of the blue I had a gut feeling he was at it again.” Y/N explained.

“It’s a special talent to just feel when something is wrong.” JJ smiled back at them.

“I’ve always been, not fascinated, by serial killers but more interested in the chase of justice.” She explained, “if that makes sense. I love puzzles and finding answers and at least this way the end result is families finding peace.”

They pulled into the parking lot, all of them finding their way into the bar before the ladies went to the bathroom to freshen up.

“So Y/N,” Prentiss said, taking her phone out and calling Penelope. “The ladies of the BAU are very close, so welcome to our little group.”

“exactly.” Penelope said over the phone, “welcome to the group you’re going to fit right in!” She cheered.

“Thank you, VICAP was not a tight-knit group like y’all are. I’m extremely excited to get to know you all more.” Y/N smiled as she straightened her shirt out in the mirror.

“So you and Spencer?” JJ asked.

“We were in the same kindergarten class,” Y/N said with a small smile. “I thought he was going to be my best friend and then he took some test and was bumped into 4th grade. By the time I was in high school he had already finished his second Ph.D.”

“So you never kept up with each other?” Prentiss asked.

She shook her head. “I knew of him, my mom is the Activities Organizer at the home his mom is at, he used to go to the park across from my house, he now lives across the hall from me and works with me. I think we were always supposed to be friends but it wasn’t the right time till now.”

“Sounds like you have a crush,” Penelope teased through the phone.

“I do.” She smiled to herself. “I think I always have.”

“If pretty boy was here he’d say that there is a statistical likelihood that because you’ve been interested in him for longer than 3 years you’re most likely in love with him and will never not be.” Prentiss explained, “I heard him say that to Hotch once.”

She nodded along, “I guess I just need to get him to fall in love with me now.”

“It won't be that difficult.” JJ placed her hand on Y/N’s back and they all made their way out of the bathroom smiling.

The men were all sitting together at a table with everybody’s drinks already waiting.

“We didn’t know what you liked,” Spencer said as Y/N sat beside him. “So I said I’d go get whatever you want.”

“Or we can go up to the bar together.” She smiled.

The two of them got up and walked to the bar, the rest of the team watched them.

She leaned against the bar, ordering her drinks and pressing in close to Spencer. “It’s been so nice getting to spend time with you.” He said softly.

She was handed her drinks before she could even respond. Taking her tequila shot there and bringing her margarita back to the table as Spencer followed swiftly behind her.

They all drank and exchanged case stories from within and beyond the BAU, Spencer was able to add a lot of input but he was always cut off. Y/N leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “you can tell me all your facts later I really want to hear them.” She smiled so softly Spencer felt his heart about to burst in his chest.

Emily left the group to go flirt with the bartender, JJ was on FaceTime in the SUV with Will, Rossi had disappeared with a local woman and Hotch and Morgan were exchanging childhood stories over a beer in the corner.

The bar was playing old, slow music, almost everyone had filtered out but there were still older local couples hanging out and dancing in the middle of the room.

“Do you dance?” Y/N asked Spencer.

“I can try.”

She took his hand and led him to the floor. Drunk on the alcohol and his touch as she slipped his hands around to her back, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head on his chest. She felt his cheek rest on the top of her head as the two of them just swayed in a circle together.

“Do you have any other memories of me?” Y/N asked him softly.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You lived across the street from the park, and your mom works at the nursing home. You have 2 younger brothers who have always looked older than you. They would come and go when I was sitting on the lone swing and I’d always see you in the window reading. I knew you were my age but it still never felt right for me to talk to you when I was in university.”

“I watched you every time you were on the swings, you looked so peaceful. You read at least a book a day every time you were out there and it became so special to me seeing you there every weekend.” She explained.

“The world works in mysterious ways.” He explained.

She held him as close as she could. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect her day to go like this. She expected coffee and a weird goodbye in the elevator and staring at a computer screen all day. Somehow she ended up in Spencer's arms in a different state after having caught the serial killer that's haunted her dreams for years.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her back, “do you want to go back to the hotel? We have an early flight.” He whispered.

“Yeah,” she smiled pulling back but reaching down to hold his hand as they walked over to Hotch and Morgan.

They drove home quietly, everyone in the back was happily drunk and tired. They parked and wandered up to their rooms, saying goodbye at their doors and disappearing into their rooms.

Spencer let her take the bathroom first, changing into her PJ’s and then he did the same. She laid in her bed, facing his as he sat up and read.

“Can I come lie beside you?” She asked, knowing exactly how needy she sounded.

He nodded, pulling the sheet back so she could slip right in. She laid on her side and just looked up at him. Absolutely astounded that she was with him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Spencer asked, putting his book down and sliding down the bed to be on her level.

“Yeah?” She said nervously.

“Today you said it’s hard for people to come forward after they are assaulted, it sounded like personal experience and I wanted you to know if you need anyone, I’m always available for you.” He explained.

“Oh,” her face dropped. “I was 12, he was 15. You were in high school at the same time as him. I don’t know if you’d remember him, his name was Christopher.”

Spencer nodded along as she spoke. “When my mom finally went back to work she didn’t trust me watching my brothers alone so her friend offered to babysit us during the days. Her foster son took advantage of me the whole summer and when my parents finally found out he went into Sophomore year and told everyone that the nerdy girl who looks like bugs bunny was obsessed with him, that I stalked him and that anything I said about him wasn’t real.”

“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his hand over her shoulder to soothe her.

“It’s okay, they used to call me bugs bunny because of my overbite. I used to rest my front teeth on my front lip and they would throw carrots at me,” she explained further.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly.

“What does?”

“When I was 13 the seniors had a cheerleader invite me onto the football field and convinced me to strip down to my underwear, she was about to kiss me when all the football guys ran out and beat me up, they tied me to the goal post and the one said ‘we should really hook you up with bugs bunny, you losers would be perfect together.’ And they left me there all night long.”

“Oh Spencer I am so sorry,” she cuddled in close to him, placing her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I think we went through our traumas separately all these years because something bigger than us knew we’d need each other one day.”

“When we get back to Virginia, would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asked.

“I would want nothing more.” She hugged him a bit tighter.

They stayed like that for a while until Spencer felt Y/N slip into the night's slumber. He quietly reached for the lamp, turning it off and readjusting himself under Y/N’s grasp.

He fell asleep not so long after. Sleeping happily for the first time in a long time.

[not-rotting]

if life wasnt hard...

It would've been easy for me to tell you that I was scared. It would've been easy for me to tell you that long distance relationship never worked out for me. It would've been easy for me to tell you to stop crying because you deserved better. It would've been easy for me to stop saying sorry all the fucking time.

It wasn't.

You were just this beautiful blonde girl who I'd met in class. You were quiet, smart, did everything that was asked of you from the professor. I was nothing like that. I admired you.

I knew you since we were little kids - throughout elementary and high school. I always wondered what you were doing in middle school, but apparently, I heard from the kids that you went back to Norway. I felt down because you never told me. I felt down because… I thought we were friends.

But we became distant in high school when you came back. The distance on brought us closer though. High school was fun for us. We did hang out, we did do things together… and you were beautiful and different--a good different, growing up to become a woman. You'd grown so much, I could barely recognize you.

I never asked what college you were going to back then but apparently, I met you in a business class the third day college had started. I could never expect more from you but you exceeded everyone's expectations. As for me, I had always been clumsy and weird. You took care of me. You helped me when I didn't ask. You made me feel like I belonged.

You know, there were times when I wondered, what would've happened if you weren't here to be my friend? How different would it have been? Well, you weren't my friend. You were my girlfriend.

We were really just talking to each other, telling each other jokes, and complimenting each other’s appearance and all. It was all fun and games. You started flirting with me as a joke.

I had the audacity to ask, “What, do you really want to date me that much?”

I wasn't sure how you were reacting when your beautiful smile faded, and you gazed at me with such intention. You seemed like you expected that question. And you said yes.

You didn't realize how shocked I was because I didn't know you like girls. Well, you did say you didn't have much of a preference but… me? Why me? I was the opposite of what you were. I was too foolish to be with someone like you. And I was so naive to say yes to you when you asked me out.

We had a great time with each other though. We were like, the ultimate power couple, and if this was high school, we would've been the prom queens. But this wasn't… and as I realized this, I knew how much I liked you. How much I wanted to waste my time on you, go to parties with you, and go eat crap with you. How I could never let you go.

You were a really healthy freak though, and it was almost terrifying to see you grab a salad each day when going to class. Though, it was funny to see you more shocked when I got some with you. Salad was good, yes. I told you they could never be too good though.

But you were a party freak. You partied more than me actually and it made me wonder, how could you keep your grades so good while staying up so late?

And you… you just love intimacy. You love it when I touch you, and you touching me. I still remember the time we passed each other on the campus. I didn't say anything and neither did you. It was funny, thinking about it now. As we passed each other, you just had to grab my ass for a bit. I was going to yell at you, but I knew what I was getting into while dating you. Sometimes, your version of intimacy was a bit too playful. Not that I minded.

There was this one time where we went to your dorm. You had no roommates, so that was a plus. You were holding my hand, sitting in bed… you know, just talking shit about other people. We loved doing that. I didn't expect anything else from you… but you did.

You expected me to kiss you. You knew how flustered I would be, so you just laughed and leaned in, your lips on mine. You told me I was cute like this. You told me I was like a big teddy bear even though you're taller than me. I remembered thinking how soft your lips were, how your fingers were crossing between mine.

I knew where things were going to go… but I was too mesmerized to stop it. I had to close my eyes, and let my hands wander on you. I remembered asking myself if I was ready, but I couldn't be bothered by that thought.

You pushed me down to your bed so hard, I lost my breath. Or maybe I lost it the moment I saw you taking your shirt off on top of me. God, your skin was so fair, and my small hands fit perfectly on your body. You were enjoying the way my hands explore your skin, I knew.

But you stopped me. You grabbed my hands. “You're shaking,” you said.

I shook my head in denial. “No, I'm not. What are you talking about?” I realized my voice was quivering too.

You didn't say anything and put your shirt back on, laying beside me. “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”

We were both gazing up the ceiling and I let your hand get placed on mine. “Yeah, that's… that's good. That's fair,” I told you.

It'd been a few months now, you know? And it was already winter break. Before that, you came to talk about how you were going to transfer to another college with a wider variety of business programs to take. You had more than enough credits. I understood that.

This was your future, how could I stop you? I said, “yes, you should go then” like it was a piece of cake. Deep down I knew how this was going to end. Deep down I realized how… selfish of me to think we weren't going to work out.

And yeah, it was winter break. We’d been together for over two years now. You were going to Norway for two weeks and then come back. But I realized once you come back, you were going to go away again to a different state.

You know, I missed you a lot. Life wasn't easy without you by my side. I had friends, yes, but who was I going to talk to the most when I needed to open up? Who was I going to say I need you when I really needed someone?

You knew how my anxiety would get. And because of that, I didn't bother calling or texting you. I was afraid. I was afraid of this distance between us.

I never liked long distance nor have I ever had a good experience with it. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think straight, couldn't eat. I was thinking about you. So I thought I might just call you and end it once and for all.

You cried when I told you everything. You yelled. You cursed. You wanted to slap me. To tell me how selfish I was, and that I had to wake up and see how hurt you were. You didn't think I was hurt? I was.

Your words were destroying me bit by bit. But I guess, I deserved it. You were a beautiful, nice girl that I had met… and yet, I return my thoughtfulness and appreciation by doing this.

Calling me selfish was right. Telling me that I was an asshole was right. I would take all these hits for you if it would make you feel so much better. And you deserved better. You deserved to have someone who could commit.

I just couldn't.

So we broke it off in tears and heartbreak.

I bet you were still mad at me when you came back here. You were--giving me the silent treatment whenever I was around you.

But the time for you to go away for another two years was here. I couldn't bear not talking to you anymore and neither could you.

You told me to talk to you whenever I'd feel down, at the airport. You said a lot of things, but I couldn't hear much with you trying to hold strong in front of me.

The last thing I got from you was a scarf and a hug. I still remember that last Christmas when I got you that. Now, it was just filled with your scent.

When you left, I was crying in your scarf. I had my whole face buried in your scent because it was you. How could I ever abandon something that was a part of you?

Though, it seemed a bit ironic with how I abandoned you, right?

You know, for a few days I felt like an awful being for breaking up. I wanted this to be better. I wanted you to deserve better, and I deserved to be alone. It hurt really bad, you know? But it couldn't have hurt more than your heart.

But sometimes, you just need to forget, and I did for the longest time. I had plenty of distractions for the past two years. I partied, I hung out with the blazers, I flirted… I had one night stands with girls. Just everything you could think of, I did.

For a while, you were nothing but a dream. I still had your scarf. Every night, I'd wrap it around my neck and put it under my nose. I couldn't sleep without it. Without you.

It was a nice reminder of us.

You know, it surprised me that you called me the other night and told me you were coming back to visit. I didn't mind. I was excited to see you. You didn't seem too enthusiastic but I didn't really care.

I just needed to see you so badly.

I didn't know… you were with someone when we met in the cafe the other day. I was wearing your scarf too, with your scent still there.

You were just holding hands with her but… I could just feel my jealousy boiling under my skin. Because you used to be mine. You used to be my better half. We were going to rock the world together.

But I got it. Things had to change, and so did you. I was just stuck in the past. I was stuck with the you that didn't exist anymore. You got over me when I was supposed to… and I didn't. Why did I break up then? What was the point? And just… when did life get so hard?  

[shortstrangestories-blog]

Life After Death

Part One

Do you know what it's like? To be living one day, living life normally and suddenly that stops and everything comes into question. How the life you once knew, the life you cultivated yourself, suddenly comes to an end.

There are so many stories and religions that have been developed to persuade you what happens when you die. Some say reincarnation, living as one animal and onto the next until you reach complete enlightenment, assuming you don’t mess up and aren't downgraded an animal. Some believe that the choices you make while living that determines whether you venture to heaven or hell. So many misleading results that have obviously never been proven, and how could they be?

Well, what I am here to tell you, is not what happens to everyone. I’m not sure if this will even reach anyone. But I am here to tell you a little story on what my personal experience was with death.

Chapter 1:

I was always different. Born different, and I knew it. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always the odd one out. I’m not saying I was bullied for it or anything, but my friends were different as well. I could have been the popular kid dating the best looking boy in school but I knew my place. In elementary school, I hung out with the kids who had nothing and my mom would always ask me “Why do you always bring the stray kids home?”, and it was true. It might have been the fact that I didn’t know any better, or the fact that I was just happy with them because I knew they would be true to me.

Like many other kids in my generation, I was an internet wiz. I would spend hours a day on there and by the time I hit grade 8, I was introduced to the beautiful and extraordinary world of Tumblr. If you don’t know Tumblr then you are reading the wrong story. Tumblr was this amazing community of outside kids much like me, and we all escaped to it.

Once that ended and I moved onto high school, nothing changed. I was still choosing to be the outside kid, except Tumblr introduced me to a world I wanted desperately to be apart of: The Scene/Emo kid community. Being from a small town there were maybe 2 of us in my high school alone; doesn’t help that I chose the smart school, which was full of as we called them “The Prep Kids”. Mid grade 9, I dyed my hair black and wore too much eyeliner. Got piercings all over my face, but was so outgoing in my little group of outcast friends that I absolutely adored. I was like this for much of high school.

Moving onto College, I had bleached the black hair back to a medium brown, and let it grow out. I won an art scholarship in high school, and chose to go to school to become a Graphic Designer. It was then that I met my first serious boyfriend, which is so stereotypical, I know. At this point my little group of friends had been split into two friends, one Korean girl in my class, and an old friend from high school. College had been a great experience for me. I lived on my own, got engaged to my first love, and almost graduated.

The man who I thought was the love of my life, had just been a fake prince in tin foil, and had cheated on me. That was the beginning of my bad luck and when I realized my world was crashing, and fast. My best friend Mia (the Korean girl I had previously mentioned) broke my heart and got a new best friend, and with me being the jealous type, could not deal with it.

Through my second year of college, I was a makeup artist at a local drugstore back home. I would often go back home on weekends to work and come back to school during the week. I worked my butt off throughout college, and have always been a hard worker with everything I did. In January of that year, I met the love of my life. With me working weekends at my job, I had never noticed who I worked with. One friday night, I was putting the sale tags up, just like I did every other Friday night, and I saw him. He worked as a merchandiser, and I was instantly head over heels for him. Me being the awkward young adult I was, I walked past the isle he was in and made eye contact with him and wanted so desperately to say hello, but all I could manage to get out was a “Merp”. He was medium height, about 5”7, muscular with a goatee, and with as my generation called it “Justin Bieber hair”. Before all this happened, he told me multiple times that it was love at first merp.

We dated for a total of just over two years, and I still believe we would have gotten married. Everything with him was perfect. You know those silly couples that fit so perfectly together, never fight, and are the literal definition of the perfect couple? That was him and I. We were a fairytale, and everyone knew it.

In July of that year, the Korean girl and I made up and became an unstoppable force. We were twisted sisters, often referred to as “Christina Yang and Meredith Grey” from Grey’s Anatomy. She was my soul sister, and she was my person.

The next year was a blur to me, everything was so perfect; my perfect boyfriend, my perfect best friend, my perfect full time job. At this point, I was working as a nurse, not at all what I had planned on doing 3 years ago when I started as a Graphic Design student. I had a brand new white Chevrolet Malibu, and had all my debt paid off from school, although I hadn’t graduated. Life was constantly throwing me curve balls, but I loved dealing with them even if they stressed me out. I was motivated and cultivating the life I loved to live.

Chapter 2:

As we all know, everything comes to an end. What goes up must come down. Why do all good things come to an end?

It started with my mom. She had never found her perfect person and always complained about being lonely, but I had never known how serious it was. One day, looking through an old cupboard that never had anything useful in it, I found a prescription for Prozac. I wanted to ask her about it but I knew how badly that would upset her since it was hidden in the first place. I waited for her to get home that day, but she never came home.

After a few hours, I had called the police. They were sending out a search party for her, and with her job being 45 minutes from home they had a lot of ground to cover.

Looking for comfort, I called Dan. His phone went instantly to voicemail, and I was already so frightened. I told the cops that I was going to check on my boyfriend to see if he had heard from her, and to stay there. I jumped in my car shaking, and drove as fast as I could to his house. I proceeded to call on my way there but still straight to voicemail.

I pulled up in front of his townhouse a few minutes later and noticed a car I had never seen before. Not thinking too much about it, I walked to his house and all the lights were off. Is he just not home from work yet? It was already 7pm, he should be home. I had a key to his house so I just walked in to check. All the lights were off still, but his bedroom light was on, which was barely visible from the front door. I called his name a few times, but no answer. I was still shaking.

As I approached his bedroom, I heard a woman's voice. Now I was shaking even harder. I peeked into his room and they were sitting on his bed talking about sports. I had no idea what to think and I was panicking with everything going on. By this point I was crying uncontrollably and all I kept thinking was that he was cheating; he is just like every other boy. I walked to his door and was shocked to see me. The girl was shocked as well. I froze staring at them both on his bed, shaking and crying. He was starting to walk towards me, and I was paralyzed. He touched my arm and was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him. My vision got blurry. I wanted to vomit. She was still staring at me. He was shaking me to get me to snap out of it but all I could get out was “cheater”. I turned around in a daze and walked towards the front door, my heart was breaking inside of me. He was chasing after me but I still couldn’t hear him. I was like a zombie. I slammed his front door and ran to the car. I raced off, my tires screeching against the pavement. I called Mia, trying to get some advice on what the heck was happening in my life. My perfect life had been interrupted by a hiccup, and I didn’t know if what I just saw was what I thought it was, or just something I was misunderstanding. I didn’t care. I need to talk to Mia.

My heart finally snapped into pieces when she didn’t answer her phone. She was always eating, sleeping or in school, so it wasn’t a surprise when she didn’t answer. The comfort never came.

I got to the light around the corner from my house, which happened to be a busy highway. The light was red, and I was finally coming to my senses and able to focus. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Dan’s car quickly approaching mine. The light turned green and I hit the gas pedal as hard as I could to get away from him. He was the last person I wanted to see at that moment. And then it hit me, literally.

Chapter 3:

What happened next, is something I don’t recall. It went blurry from there. All the anger, the sadness, the shaking, it all stopped suddenly. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed. As I came back to my conscious self, I wasn’t in pain anymore. I felt nothing.

I noticed an IV in my arm, giving me fluid as to keep me hydrated.

I looked around and everything was starting to come into focus. It was the perfect snowfall outside; slow and beautiful, my favourite weather.

I stared mesmerized for a few minutes waiting for everything else to start making sense. What happened? What about Dan and my mom? I had nothing. I hit the emergency button to call a nurse into my room. She scurried in with another patient's chart in her hands. She was short, with long brown hair tucked into a bun on top of her head. The expression on her face made it seem like I was never suppose to wake up. She seemed thrilled. How long had I been gone for? There was no indication in my room to help me figure it out, other than a small ordinary clock on my wall telling me it was 3 o’clock in the morning.

“Where is my mom?” I asked still groggy from the meds. The nurse looked at me with comfort, and informed me that she was just in the hallway with Dan.

Right… Dan. I remembered that night. I lost a piece of my heart that night. Even recalling the events of that night, I did not experience any feeling. Still no heartbreak, no anger, no jealousy. I thought it must be the meds.

My mom walked in with Dan trailing behind her, and I had never seen them both look so relaxed. They routinely asked me how I was feeling, and if I remembered anything. Thinking about it, I only remember looking in my rearview mirror and seeing Dan chasing me. “That's all I remember.” Mom and Dan exchanged looks. It seemed like they already knew what was going to be said next without even saying anything. Had they bonded that much while all of this was going on?

“It doesn’t matter what happened honey, what matters is you are safe now.”

What bothered me was not that they were bonding so well, it was the fact she said now. What did she mean now and why isn’t anyone telling me what happened?

“No seriously guys, what happened to me? Why am I here?”

Dan spoke up now, looking so heartfelt. He never looks at me like that, let alone is ever really serious with me.

“You’ve been through a lot babe, it’s best if we just let you rest now that you are awake.”

I couldn’t argue with him, this whole thing has raised the hair on my arms; this was not like either of them at all. They walked out of my room and left me to rest.

Chapter 4:

They discharged me as soon as all my vitals were stable and everything was healed. With minor bruising and some scratches, the only lead I had gotten was from my doctor, “You’re lucky to be alive.” Something really bad must have happened.

Dan had volunteered to take me home, and with my mom working that day she happily accepted. I assumed it was because he wanted to talk about what happened that night everything crashed. We got to his car and I crawled in, and as we were driving I noticed that for once in my small town, everyone was driving the way they were suppose to be. Even Dan, who is a reckless driver was going exactly the speed limit, almost as if he were retaking his driver's test. He asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted to go out to eat something other than hospital food, but I really didn’t remember eating at all in the hospital.

We went to a small sports bar for lunch, where I had ordered an omelette and he ordered a burger with fries. I sat quietly waiting for the food to come and wasn’t looking at him after what he had done. I was thankful for him taking me home and being here for me after what happened, but it still didn’t make up for what happened.

“Alicia… We need to talk. I can only imagine how you feel right now, you have no idea what happened. I know you need to know, because that's how you are, but your mom thinks it's best if we just move forward.”

Seriously? That’s what he wanted to talk about? Typical him avoiding the mistake he made. “Is that all you want to talk about? Don’t you think I deserve to know? What if I have permanent brain damage or I have arthritis pain for the rest of my life and I will never know why. Kind of selfish don’t you think?”

“I can’t go against what your mom says, she is your mom.”

“If I was in your shoes, I would tell you what happened, I have respect for you”.

He wasn’t raising his voice. Whenever we fought, he would always raise his voice even simply an octave in defense.

“Fine, you want to know what happened? I’ll tell you but you can’t act like you always know everything in front of your mother if I tell you.”

I said quiet and waited for him to tell me.

“Alicia, how much do you remember from that night?”

I had to sit and think for a moment to make sure I had all my facts straight and in correct order.

“I remember waiting for mom to get home to ask her something about her medication. Then she never came home so I called the cops and had a search party sent out. I called you and your phone went right to voicemail and in the heat of my panic, I drove to your house to make sure you were safe. I showed up, let myself in your house, and you had some girl on your bed. I ran out, got in my car and saw you in my rear view at the light and then I panicked and went through the light. That's all I remember.”

He looked down from me as the food came to the table. He looked like he was in pain, which wouldn’t make any sense to me. This is all his fault.

“So what you are saying is this is all my fault? You didn’t think I already knew that? I have been so heartbroken this whole time, because I knew you got the wrong idea.”

What on earth did he mean the wrong idea? I was enraged at this point but I sat there quietly waiting while he played with his fixings on his burger.

“You were hit by a transport truck, which was going 80 kilometers per hour Alicia. That’s what the doctor meant when he said you are lucky to be alive. I overheard the doctors talking to your mom, and apparently you are a the biggest miracle they have ever seen, or maybe ever to happen.”

I instantly lost my appetite. I had a million questions racing through my head, none of which he could possibly answer.

“Alright well, even though my head is so full of questions and information, you said I had gotten the wrong idea about you and that girl that night. Explain please, because at this point, I already feel uneasy sitting with you right now.”

“That was my cousin Hannah. We have always been super close, and you have nothing to worry about.”

Like I haven’t heard that excuse before. How stupid does he think I am?

“How come I’ve never met this cousin, let alone heard about her? She’s never been at any of your Christmas’s, or any holiday get togethers for that matter.” Caught him.

“She doesn’t live here. My aunt moved them to Ireland a few years ago, and this was her first trip home since then, and she isn’t into me, or even men for that matter.”

It makes sense, but it isn’t making me feel any better. If they were so close, how have I never heard about her before? She was gorgeous, which is what made me so uneasy seeing her there that night.

“Look Alicia. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I would never hurt you. You were my first girlfriend, and the last two years I spend with you were the best two years of my life. My family loves you, and I love you even more. You are a miracle.”

I didn’t know what to say back. I was so overwhelmed with information, and I still felt no relief.

He finished his burger and drove me back home. I took my plate to go since I wasn’t hungry. We pull up in front of my house and as I went to get out, he grabbed my arm.

“I love you Alicia. I hope you know that.”

I nodded my head, and froze. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a little purple box. What is happening.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Over the last month, I have had so many thoughts go through my head, and I never knew if I would even get you back. I want you to marry me.”

This is not right. Dan never wanted to get married. Every time we talked about the future he would close himself off and not speak. Either something really happened to him to change him, or I am dreaming that I’m alive. The ring was beautiful, square with one big diamond and small diamonds around the band. I stared in awe and looked back at him and back to the ring.

“Am I dreaming? What happened to you Dan?”

“Let’s say I smartened up!” He laughed and I didn’t find any of this funny.

“I love you, but am I able to get back to you on that? I need to figure some things out before I agree…” I carefully took the ring, and got out of the car.

I went right up to my room, and sat in my bed. I opened the box and sat it on the other side of the bed and just stared at it, for what seemed like hours. It was beautiful and fit perfectly.

Part two out soon

[artificialqueens]

Hearts, Not Parts (Adore Delaska) Part 1 - Osiris

hello! i’ve written on here before but my old works are embarrassing, so just call me osiris. this is a deeply personal story to me because i’m a trans boy who wants to be a drag queen.

this is about a young trans boy danny who does drag as adore delano, and he meets pre drag race alaska and they feel a connection to each other, but danny’s afraid to come out in fear of rejection. starts off with a bit of adore/jinkx, but i promise it’s focused on adore delaska eventually.

i don’t know how many parts it’ll be. this is part 1.

Danny’s life had been anything but easy. A diagnosis of depression at 13 led to a diagnosis of gender dysphoria at 15, and that led to a lot of confusion within the family. Luckily, his mom was in his corner and let him start hormones by the time he was 16. The kids at school looked at him funny, as he had been there since elementary school and they knew him when he was nowhere near masculine. That led to most of his friends leaving him in fear of being harassed along with him.

The best thing that happened in his teenage years was meeting Jerick. They were a kid in Danny’s theatre class who actually showed interest in him even though they knew about his situation. He soon found out why: they’re genderfluid. Most of his friends that stuck around were in the LGBT community some way or another. Roy was gay, Carmen was transgender too, and Katya just sort of went with the flow, sexuality-wise. Jerick was just the first to show a romantic interest in him.

The two quickly jumped into a relationship, which lasted almost a year before they both agreed they were better as friends. It wasn’t one of those breakups where they claim they’ll stay friends but never talk again. Jerick remained Danny’s best friend for years. They even stayed close when Jerick moved to Los Angeles to pursue their drag career when they were 21 and Danny was still 19. Texting every day and video chatting at least once a week, they maintained their relationship for years.

Danny started doing drag when he was 21 in his hometown of San Diego, but he didn’t really have the reaction he wanted. His friends always came to his shows, praising Adore Delano, his drag character. Even though he tried his best and pursued his dream, the happiness he always expected from doing drag just wouldn’t appear. In fact, the amount of money he spent on his drag was more than he was bringing in.

He ended up taking a break from drag, uninspired. Not only was he not as successful as he had hoped, he was discriminated against in the community. “Why are you even doing drag if you’re a trans guy?” he was always asked, as if drag is only available to cisgender people. His depression symptoms started to come back, and he needed out for a while. When he called Jerick and explained the situation, they offered to let him stay with them for a couple of weeks, just to get away and have a change of scenery and meet new people.

He packed his bags and boarded the soonest flight to Los Angeles, not wanting to wait any longer to just get the fuck out of there. When he got to Jerick’s apartment, he ran into a tall man who just seemed to be leaving. Literally ran into him. “Shit, sorry,” Danny immediately apologized, but was just met with soft laughter. “It’s fine, really,” the other man told him. “You okay?” he asked Danny, helping him pick up one of the bags he had dropped. Danny could barely speak, just nodding and smiling slightly. He hurried toward the door.

Damn, he was cute. Danny shut himself up immediately. After he and Jerick broke up, he told himself he’s not going to fall for anyone. Nobody will ever understand him, and he’d rather not end up with his heart broken after they find out he’s trans.

Startled when the door opened, Danny was let in. Arching an eyebrow, Danny motioned behind him. “Who was that?” he asked, setting down his bags.

“That’s Justin. He’s one of the other queens I perform with,” Jerick explained.

Danny nodded slightly, crossing his arms over his abdomen, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the moment. He definitely felt something, and he didn’t want to. He wished he could make it go away, but part of him wanted to say ‘fuck it’ and go for it. Sensing Danny’s tension, Jerick spoke up. “Do you want me to introduce you? He’s going to be performing with me tonight,” they offered.

“Sure, yeah,” Danny said quietly, smiling gratefully at his best friend. Knowing he was probably done talking for the moment, Jerick took the opportunity to help him take his bags to the guest room.

While Danny was finding a new outfit to wear, Jerick went back to their room and began the long process of putting on Jinkx’s face. It didn’t take Danny long to change into his skinny jeans and graphic t-shirt, so he decided to go sit on Jerick’s bed to keep them company while they got ready. The conversation was easy, and so was the silence. They felt comfortable enough to sit in silence together without it being awkward.

Danny was mesmerized by the transformation he was seeing. Jinkx was beautiful, so different from Jerick but he could still see them through the layers of makeup. Once the makeup was done, Danny stood and gave them a hug from behind, just missing the physical contact that was so normal for the pair. “I can’t wait to see your performance. You’re gonna be great,” he assured them before letting them go so they could change.

Once they had taken a lyft to the club, Jinkx brought Danny backstage with them, wanting to introduce him to the other queens.

The first one they met was a small blonde with a distinct Australian accent named Courtney. She seemed very nice, and her and Danny got on very well. There was another queen in the dressing room with red hair similar to Jinkx’s. Jinkx introduced her as Ivy, and Danny noticed a distinct blush on their cheeks. Danny knew Jinkx had been seeing someone, but he had never been given any names.

Finally, Jinkx took Danny to their dressing room, where another queen with long blonde hair styled up into what looked like a beehive, eyebrows arched practically to heaven, and a perfectly cinched waist. Without Jinkx telling him, he automatically knew this was the man he had seen earlier. Part of it was the height of the queen, the other part was Jinkx’s face. They were smirking, as if they knew he was attracted to the man - Justin, apparently. The queen heard the door open and turned her head toward them, giving them a big smile when she saw them.

“Hiiiieeee,” she greeted, standing up and walking over. She took Danny’s hand in both of hers. His heart raced, and he hoped he wasn’t blushing. He imagined he looked like one of those people in a rom-com who can’t stop staring like a creepy idiot. He just hoped he didn’t.

“I’m Alaskaaaa,” she drawled. “You’ve got to be Danny, right? Jinkxy here was just telling me earlier that you’d be coming. I assume it’s Danny because I saw you going to their apartment. Am I right?” Danny wasn’t even able to speak. Luckily, Jinkx took over.

“Yes, this is my Danny. He’s actually a drag queen too, down in San Diego,” they told Alaska. Danny finally found his words. “Adore Delano,” he added, “That’s my drag name.”

Alaska finally let go of Danny’s hand, going to the mirror and puckering her lips a little. “What do you do, Danny slash Adore?” she inquired. “Comedy, lip syncing, singing..?”

“I sing,” Danny told her, tone turning extremely shy at this point. He didn’t feel like he was good enough to be having this conversation with a queen who obviously knew what they were doing. He was still a beginner, and lots of people didn’t even think his drag was valid since he was trans. He wasn’t going to say that, though, because he did not want to fuck this up.

Alaska seemed to sense his nervousness, so she decided not to ask him to sing for her, though she did make a little mental note to herself to have him sing for her one day. “Me too,” she replied, and she left it at that.

The queen known as Ivy that he had met earlier poked her head in the door. “We’re starting in five,” she notified the queens in the room. Danny awkwardly backed up toward the door. “I suppose I’ll see you after the show,” he said, trying to make it sound like he was just talking to Jinkx.

Once Danny was out the door, Alaska turned to Jinkx, a smug expression on her face. “He’s cute. And he seems nice. A bit shy, though,” she noted. Jinkx chuckled softly, putting on another coat of their lipstick.

“He’s afraid to get too close to anyone, though, so good luck. Be careful,” Jinkx warned, knowing exactly what was running through Alaska’s mind. Of course, Alaska couldn’t help but wonder what exactly happened to make him so scared of letting people in.

She wasn’t going to ask, though. She understood perfectly. Her relationship with another queen named Sharon didn’t go too well, and for over a year after they broke up, she wouldn’t let anyone she had feelings for talk to her. She wouldn’t risk anything happening that would give them an advantage over her.

Alaska checked her makeup one last time and headed towards the door.

Danny watched with awe as everybody performed. Jinkx almost made him cry with their singing, which sounded like an angel. That wasn’t surprising, though, as they had been singing together for years now. What he hadn’t expected was that Alaska’s voice was so beautiful. Maybe it was the overdramatic look that made him think it would be more comedic, but she was actually a beautiful singer. Later on in the show, his expectations were fulfilled as she did a comedy number. He loved everything Alaska did, and he knew he was in trouble. He could’ve sworn he caught her eye many times during the show.

After it was over, he made his way back to Jinkx and Alaska’s dressing room. He gave Jinkx a big hug and kiss on the cheek. “That was great!” he told them. He turned to Alaska after a few seconds. “You were really good. Like, really good,” he said awkwardly, earning a chuckle and smile from Alaska.

“How long are you staying here?” Alaska asked him, tilting her head a little. Danny’s heart sped up a little. Surely she wasn’t trying to imply anything, was she? His mouth all the sudden felt dry.

“Two weeks,” he told her, watching as she took off her wig and began removing her makeup. How could she still look so good in the process of wiping away makeup?

“That’s too bad,” Alaska told him. “If Jinkx wouldn’t mind, though, I’d love to hang out with you sometime,” she continued.

Jinkx looked almost guilty, afraid they would be caught by Danny. They had been talking to Alaska before Danny showed up, trying to set them up together. They didn’t want to set them up for selfish reasons; they just really wanted Danny to be happy, and Alaska is the person they trust most apart from him. If they like each other, Jinkx is going to help them any way they can.

Danny must’ve looked surprised, because Alaska started laughing, finally getting all the makeup off. “It doesn’t have to be a date, Danny slash Adore. Unless you want it to be,” she teased, walking to the back of the room to change. Danny shot Jinkx a look, one that said ‘we’re talking later’, and tried to think of any positives that would come out of it. It could end up wonderful, but there was no guarantee that it would work out after he was out as trans.

Alaska, now fully back to Justin, walked back out, carrying a bag. He sat down in one of the chairs again, looking fully smug as he looked over Danny. “What do you say?”