#hence the resources if you are interested to learn more

[cuties-in-codices]

an example of medieval racism: a depiction of the last judgement, with an angel expelling a black man from the blessed, all depicted as white, guiding him towards the damned, all depicted as having darker skin tones

miniature in the "livre de la vigne nostre seigneur", france, c. 1450–1470

source: Oxford, Bodleian Library, MS. Douce 134, fol. 58v

(some trustworthy academic resources on the topic of medieval racism would be “The Invention of Race in the European Middle Ages” by Geraldine Heng, or “Black Metaphors: How Modern Racism Emerged from Medieval Race-Thinking” by Cord J. Whitaker)

[moonastro]

Juno persona chart

jupiter in the houses

what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.

jupiter represents luck, it expands anything it touches and gives prosperity in that area. in the juno persona chart, jupiter signifies the luck the couple has within the marriage, what possible expansions marriage life of the couple receives and what possibly wisdom the couple takes.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

**reminder no.2 that this can be used for signs as well, so for example if jupiter is in aries in 6th house, make sure to check out jupiter in 1st house also as it may resonate.

jupiter in 1st house: marriage may be full of quick decisions, not waiting around brings luck to the couple. acting right away is the way to go for this placement. the couple may find luck in cars, perhaps you always have access to transport, have access to cars, may even own lots of cars or some sort of quick transport. marriage may bring growth to developing how to cope with anger or short temper, this placement may bring expansion to have healthy coping mechanisms when it comes to short temper or raising voice. marriage may bless the individual with courage to show the real them for example showing off their real style, personality, likes and interests etc. these individuals may have a very nice and luxurious (a grand) home after marriage, exterior of home may look big and expensive so this may be an indication of having a big house after marriage. jupiter here may brings lots of movement to the individual after marriage, their life may liven up a bit and there may be lots of movement during marriage. life can be full of life, full of passion, desire and motivation so a sense of fulfilment may occur and make the individual feel alive.

spouse may have natal jupiter in aries, 1st house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 2nd house: marriage may bring luck to resources, money, materialistic things and ones value. the couple may receive lots of gifts from other people, not cheap also, this placement just attracts gifts and luxury. also expect people offering you to go out for dinner or lunch after marriage, this brings expansion in areas of socialising and allowing oneself to destress and rewind. marriage can be full of relaxation, after marriage the native can have luck in having s stress free mind or a less one. jupiter here may bring growth to having patience with one another, adapting to foreign environments and finding comfort in anywhere one may go. marriage may bring luck in artistic fields related to the voice, the arts, dancing, cooking, food related and beauty related. this placement may have luck in those themes and may have a business or open up a store related to these themes.

spouse may have natal jupiter in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 3rd house: marriage may bring luck in communication, writing, expression of oneself and getting to the point. this placement bring expansion to speaking so couple much talk things out even if they are the tiniest of little misconceptions they should be sorted out rough communication. i feel like this placement also gives luck in education, so this placement go back to school, college or university after marriage or they decide to study something they have been interested in after marriage. marriage may bring this placement extreme motivation and inspiration from their partner so they may want to complete everything at once as ideas keep coming and coming. this placement may find lessons to do with trust and talking behind each others backs, also learning how to stay within each others energy levels and keeping up with each other ideas and supporting each other in that sense.

spouse may have natal jupiter in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 4th house: marriage may bring luck in family relations. perhaps getting closer to family through marriage, visiting family more often after marriage, spending more time with the mother especially after marriage. this is also an indication of having luck in having a family of your own, so having kids may bring more luck in that field. having a comfortable home of your own will expand your luck, being comfortable in your own home is very important for example, having every detail of the house according to the way that makes you feel warm and cosy can make a different in your growth as a person. this placement is spiritually gifted with their intuition and learning to believe in themselves. Jupiter here has a lesson to never diss oneself and always believe in your abilities after marriage. through marriage connecting with ones ancestors may bring great fortune also.

spouse may have natal jupiter in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house.

jupiter in 5th house: the couple may have luck in children. this placement really enhances the amount of children the couple may have, so most likely people with this placement have lots of children. also the couple may find happiness and expansion with children, perhaps it helps with their mental health, their spiritual journey, their mindset and their luck in general. also this placement may find growth in their confidence may grow in confidence and have their own way. also this placement most likely will be quite well known whether its within the community, neighbouring, worldwide etc. This placement finds growth in their ego, so usually after marriage their views of life and their mindset may drrastically change for the better especially after having kids.

spouse may have natal jupiter in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 6th house: marriage may bring luck to health and fitness. this placement may have fortune in their health for example getting more fitter by going to gym, eating more healthy, changing unhealthy life style, changing up their routine for the better after marriage. the couple may find expansion in the field of taking care of something, perhaps taking care of each other, taking care of pets, taking care of friends, taking care of grand-parents and so forth, however, that will bring luck. jupiter here may bring lessons it terms of criticality, judgement, lack of mentality and perfectionism after marriage. jupiter here brings luck in routine, their day-to-day life may be lucky for example someone with this placement may just get opportunities when going to the store or finding a valuable item while walking a dog and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 7th house: marriage may be favourable in having good relations to each others grandparents. this placement may experience lots of luck in law situations such as legal matters related to the government and documents. the couple may never be involved in problems related to the law or always have luck in that field. marriage may bring luck to connections and relations in general, you may have more ease connecting with other people, you may get on with people more easily. this may work to this placements favour as it can expand the amount of opportunities one can receive, getting more compliments, being liked by people you thought disliked you and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 8th house: couple may have luck in keeping secrets, what i mean by that is they keep things private very well so that comes to an advantage to them because it shocks the people around them and question things like 'since when??' or 'whatt?' that sort of vibe. this placement keeps people wondering, guessing and interested in your marriage and this placement never gives them the satisfaction. this protects the couples privacy and protects their energy also. this protects the couple from negative energy which protects their luck. this is a very powerful placement to have since this expands the spiritual bond between he couple also. strategizing goals and researching and just planning in general may bring luck to this placement for example, planning outings, shopping, researching contracts and the background of the contract before signing, researching what holiday you'll be travelling to and so forth.

spouse may have natal jupiter in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.

jupiter in 9th house: this placement brings luck to those who travel abroad, living outside of the environment that they grew up in will bring growth and extreme luck. another thing is that the couple may find luck in being enthusiastic and charismatic, also making jokes and taking things with a grain of salt, not over exaggerating stuff will be favourable for this placement. also marriage may be full of discovery, always learning, always exploring. being in a good relationship with parent-in-law brings luck to the marriage so being in good terms with spouses parents may be very favourable for this placement and may bring lots of opportunities related to travel, fulfilment, study and spiritual growth. another thing with this placement is that jupiter being in its home house, this is very expanding and broadening in terms of their conscious mind, jupiter can guide the couple in marriage and incline their mental and astral growth. basically, marriage is spiritually guided by the higher energies, marriage was meant to happen in order for this placement to achieve and complete their mission of this physical realm.

spouse may have natal jupiter in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.

jupiter in 10th house: marriage may bring luck in image of this placement. the couple may find luck in their career, may get promotions, upgrades, bonuses, movement to higher position etc etc. jupiter here gives luck in other peoples view about you, the vast majority of people may have a different perception of you in a good way after marriage. also marriage may bring reputation to your image that expands your opportunities and respect from other people. also people may find you more serious after marriage. an honourable thing to keep in mind with this placement is that over a certain period of time, jupiter brings severe luck through hard work and determination for this placement during marriage, marriage may strengthen and jupiter offers its full expansion later in life in this marriage. this is also an indication of a very long lasting marriage, even a marriage that last until old age.

spouse may have natal jupiter in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.

jupiter in 11th house: marriage may find luck in social gatherings, groups and outings. couple may face extreme luck on social media and technology, for example may have a successful social media platform or have extreme luck with technology, long-lasting, fast running and so forth. marriage may expand social groups also, this placement may find more accepting and understanding friends after marriage especially. may also find their true friend group after marriage. this placement may also experience growth in expressing themselves the way its most authentically true to themselves and being comfortable about it after marriage. this is also a placement that brings unplanned events and turns it into the most luckiest thing ever, this placement may find the most luck through spontaneous events, events that happen through spite for example getting calls from an old friend to go to a café the next day, that day turns out to be one of the best, or another example may be getting invited to an important event having only a short period of time of notice, when arriving at event you see people that are well known and receiving offers from them and so on.

spouse may have natal jupiter in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.

jupiter in 12th house: this placement may have luck in spirituality, the couple may be spiritually guided by the universe and have luck overseas. for example when travelling pay just have the best luck ever and may feel complete when travelling long distances in general. this placement often brings luck when it comes to sleeping, for example you may be guided when in bed with your partner if that makes ant sense, like you may feel better you may sleep better and you may even dream better. marriage may bring luck in artistic areas of life for example having luck in being an artist, singer, model, teacher, poet, also tarot reader. this placement may get oversea recognition in these artistic areas. marriage may expand the mind to prioritise mindfulness in order to not fall into dangerous addiction tendencies so it is very important to find peace and a healthy coping mechanism through spirituality.

spouse may have natal jupiter in pisces, in 12th house, water sign or water house.

thanks so much for reading, have a nice day ahead!🌛⭐🌼

[hellishjoel]

seven days, six nights

5.6k / pairing: joel miller x f!reader

← masterlist

summary: You get jumped in the QZ after a deal gone south and hide yourself from Joel to keep him safe. After eventually finding you and learning the truth behind your injuries, he heals you and promises revenge. 

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), post-outbreak Joel, living in the Boston QZ, somewhat established relationship, mentions of falling ill, mentions of hunger/starvation, mentions of weapons, mentions of sleeplessness, descriptions of a fight/brief assault, descriptions of bodily injury, talking about medical shit (and I ain't no doctor, I used google, don't sue me) thoughts and descriptions of murder (… isn’t he just so dreamy?), angst, light fluff at the end, half-ass edited (apologies in advance)

A/N: So happy to practice some post-outbreak writing! Enjoy this angsty one shot (inspired by this lovely ask!) that I fuckin loved writing. Dedicating this to @macfrog, as I pictured this entire plot with pixel Joel. 

“Joel, I’m so sorry, I lost you the battery-” “Someone stole it from you.” He corrects, shaking his head as a sinking feeling washes over you. Your eyelashes flutter as you feel a droplet of water land on your nose. You glance up at the sky, seeing the clear summer day has turned into dark clouds overhead threatening to flood the city in rain. Joel doesn’t look up, he stays watching you. You can’t seem to meet his eye contact. “But the battery-” “Don’t care about the battery right now, care about you.” 

Joel doesn’t know where you’ve been. You haven’t returned to his apartment in the QZ for days. He keeps track. Every time the sun rises and shines blistering beams of light into the quiet apartment until the moon replaces it and casts light silver streaks between the torn-up pieces of newspaper taped to the windows. Another day gone.

You had a routine. Make the smaller drops or pickups on your own, return to Joel, and report back to him with anything you think he might find useful or interesting. Five days ago, he sent you off to negotiate a truck battery with that West End District piece of shit, Robert. He shouldn’t have let you go alone. Fucking smugglers, you couldn’t trust any of them. Hell, Joel was even surprised you trusted him at first. He regretted not insisting on being by your side, even if it was just as your personal attack dog to keep Robert  on his toes. 

Despite Boston being one of the more “well-managed” QZs to still exist, the black market that emerged from it was just as strong. That’s where Joel came in. He figured if he could smuggle himself into one of the most protected quarantine zones in the country, he could smuggle just about anything else. 

Drugs, weapons, ammunition, illegally forged paperwork, counterfeit ration cards, you name it, and Joel could work it in or out of the city.  Joel’s reputation was usually enough to keep you both out of imminent danger as he became popular with not only the inhabitants of the QZ, but also with fellow smugglers. You all needed each other to stay alive, in one way or another. 

Don’t be mistaken; the Boston QZ wasn’t perfect. It went through its fair share of scares. Food sources dwindled occasionally, leaving people angry, starving, and rebellious. Fireflies were a constant nag on depleting military resources. The fighting never truly stopped. This partially made Joel’s life easier. When times got tough, people searched for Joel to procure particular goods to help keep them afloat or, more importantly, alive. 

That’s the problem Joel ran into after spending a night in FEDRA lock up. He was the one in need of supplies. 

Joel was sick. Not infected sick, not cordyceps sick, some kind of infection he got from poor sanitation in the lock-up that attacked its way through an open wound Joel had gotten. He didn’t know if it was from work duty or from the recent street attacks, hence his stay in the FEDRA lockup. No matter where he got it from, an infection in the bloodstream wasn’t easily curable. 

The doctors, what very few the QZ had, were scarcely treating the sick due to a lack of supplies. And Joel was only getting worse. 

He was fighting a high fever, his breathing was fucked, as was his heart rate. Only a few days into his symptoms, he was crashing. He was damn near on the devil’s doorstep. He wasn’t made for heaven’s gates. 

Joel didn’t have friends in the QZ, but there were certain high-powered people who needed items smuggled, too. And the guards paid him well to keep his mouth shut about what he saw going in and out of those gates after curfew. That’s why when one of his more popular clients heard Joel was an inch from  death, they sent you. 

You burst through his apartment, the door nearly flying off its hinges as you fled to his bedside. He pushed you away with what little strength he had at first, the infection was making him lose his damn mind. His skin was scarlet red, and he was clammy with sweat. He didn’t know you, you didn’t know him. But you weren’t going to let him die. 

“Joel, I’m here to help you, hold still.” 

Then you started your search, tearing Joel’s clothes off one by one until you found the sizeable cut on his upper bicep near his shoulder, a huge scrape from a metal blade that had gotten infected. The man had tons of scars, all in varying sizes, shapes, and places on his body. You didn’t know his past, but his body told his story. He was a fighter. 

Your fear was how far into sepsis Joel was. Any further or even just a few hours later, you might have witnessed his organs begin shutting down. 

Despite his hazy state, Joel was struck by your amount of supplies. You weren’t a Boston QZ doctor, he would remember a face like yours. It took a smuggler to know a smuggler, and you dealt in medical supplies. 

Joel passed out not long after you got there. You caught him up in the morning, you never left his side. You monitored him, kept checking his vitals, pumped him with water, shoved antibiotics down his throat, cleaned his wound before it could fester anymore, and tried to regulate his body temperature. This could have been a lot worse. It should have been a lot worse. 

This was your first time experiencing Joel Miller’s tenacious stubbornness. He wouldn’t fucking die, not last night, and not today. 

A few weeks later, with Joel improving, he picked up on you around town. The way you blended in with just about everyone else. Not much slipped past Joel these days with his eyes like that of an eagle. But you slipped right through his fingers, didn’t even know you existed,  despite running the same territory. 

That’s when he decided he wanted someone like you on his team. Not just for your medical skills, but the type of supplies you ran was in high demand. You never did tell him where you got it, or how it was funded, all he had to know was that you were in. And you have been in ever since. 

Joel introduced you to heavier smuggling, like weapons and bundles of cash. Even people for the right price. He taught you how to make fake documents of verification and how to forge other paperwork. This was a lot bigger compared to your clean syringes and medicine. 

You learned a lot from each other. You taught Joel patience, and to thank you for saving his life, he taught you how to orgasm in less than five minutes. 

The relationship you shared, if you could even call it that, wasn’t strictly a romantic one. Both of you were too guarded for something like that. But also, life was too short and unpredictable right now not to crave pleasure to erase the pain from the past. 

It was hard to admit, considering how independent you’ve grown since being accepted into the Boston QZ, but you were thinking about Joel in ways far beyond a slightly romantic relationship. He had protected you and cared for you in the Joel sort of way that’s hard to read but you know exists. 

Joel worked extra hours to hand you off extra ration cards, shaking his head and not looking at you when he said it was no big deal, just take’em. Or when he didn’t want you to stay in spare housing, he offered to let you live with him in his nicer, non-shared apartment. It was a small slice of heaven in this fucked up world. You liked him, hell, maybe it was more than like. 

That’s why when you got jumped by Robert’s guys on the way back to Joel’s with the truck battery, they damn near killed you. They left you passed out in the alley. Robbed you of your ration cards, stole back the battery, smashed your head so hard into the brick wall you had passed out. All you wanted to do when you came to was crawl to Joel. So you did. You were outside his door, beaten and bruised, about to knock. Then you just stood there and spiraled. 

You listened from the other side of Joel’s door to the floorboards creaking as he paced the old wooden beams. You were late and left him worried. He was waiting for you to come home. 

The thought made your stomach twist. You looked like shit. You knew what Joel was capable of. One look at your bruised and bloodied face would send him flying down the street with a rifle in his hands and a pistol shoved in the back of his jeans.  You couldn’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in a war with Robert. 

Joel was smart, a hell of a lot smarter than Robert, but their smuggling operations varied greatly. Robert was an arms dealer, with henchmen all around the QZ. Joel only worked with a handful of people, he kept his circle small. If Joel went after Robert, you were more likely to find him dead in the street than anything else. And you couldn’t do that to Joel, not after all he’s done for you. 

If Joel saw you hurt, he would kill Robert. He’d kill anyone that laid a finger on you. No one touches what’s Joel’s. Not merchandise, not weapons, not the pills he smuggles in and out of the QZ, and certainly not you. 

So you tiptoe back down the stairs and run to the spare housing blocks just before the curfew alarm sounds. What Joel doesn’t know won’t get him killed. 

---

Joel stands in line during the heat of summer, ration cards stuffed in his back pocket as he waits with others in the queue for a tray and some food. The dining hall was packed, and by the looks of other people’s trays, the food was low again. All he can think about is how he worked extra shifts all last week to get more ration cards for both of you. Without these cards, you were going hungry. You were supposed to be by his side, where were you? 

By day six, Joel was restless. He didn’t realize how accustomed he had grown to having you in bed beside him. All he could picture during his sleepless nights was his body spooned in behind yours, the heavy weight of his arm curled around your waist, being able to sense even the tiniest of movements. You’d push off his arm in the middle of the night, telling him that you just needed to use the bathroom or get some water. 

It wasn’t always like that, though. Sometimes, you have nightmares. Ones that left you shooting up straight in the middle of the night, gasping for breath, crawling backward in bed like something or someone was chasing you. Joel didn’t know everything about your past and vice versa, but he knew wherever you came from before Boston was a different form of hell. He would hold you in his arms, console you, wipe your hot tears, lay your head on the warmth of his chest, and tell you to level out your breathing by listening to the beat of his heart. He held you in his arms until you eventually fell back asleep. Most of the time, you’d wake up and wouldn’t remember a thing. 

What if nothing was wrong with you, and you just realized you didn’t want to be with someone as broken and battered as Joel? He didn’t make being in his company easy. He gave you a lot of shit, pushed you to the limits, told you on more than a handful of occasions he just wanted to be left alone. You’d ask about his daughter, the one he sparsely spoke about, and he’d bark at you until you regretted even thinking about her. He didn’t make things easy on you, but Joel did care about you. Even if he was shit at showing it. 

He pushed you away, maybe you took the hint and left him. 

On day seven, he started asking around about you, something he saved as a last resort. The less you two were seen together, the better. You had him worried sick, and he was damn near ready to raid Robert’s warehouse to see if he had taken you, made you his girl against your will.  

That was until he caught a glimpse of you going past the market. It didn’t take much, he recognized your figure and trailed you with his eyes.  You were walking towards spare housing, with a heavy backpack and a sweatshirt on. Your arms were wrapped securely around you, and your head was down. 

He navigated through the crowds, jaw tight, putting down heavy steps on the broken gravel road as he pushed people out of his way with a guided hand on their shoulder. He followed you out of the crowd and down the street lined with stone barricades and rubble from a recent building that was raided by patrol on the hunt for Fireflies. You turned sharply down an alleyway, and Joel followed you, needing to see if you were okay, looking for answers. 

As soon as Joel took the alley, he was attacked and harshly shoved backward, his shoulder blades smacking the red brick wall behind him. A small switchblade was then shoved against the protruding vein in his neck, heated puffs of breath leaving him. He initially panicked in the moment, his hand tightening around the wrist that held him there.

“Why the hell are you following me?” You bark at him, head still lowered. Joel’s eyes narrow at the sound of your voice. 

He speaks your name.

Your strength relaxes, and you lift your head up to see you had pinned Joel. Shit, you thought one of Robert’s men was following you from town. You let out an exhausted breath of relief. 

“You’re really holdin’ me up with the knife I gave you?” Joel asks. He smacks the back of your hand, reflexes making your fist open up and lose the grip on your switchblade. Joel snags it with his free hand and glares at you. He takes the opportunity to shove your forearm off his chest, the one that was pinning him against the wall, and sending you a few paces back from the force he exerts. He hesitates but folds the blade back into the handle, and offers it back to you.

You let out a sigh of relief to see that it was just Joel. But this was still a problem. 

You retrieve the switchblade you accidentally surrendered to him and stuff it into your sweatshirt pocket. You cross your arms and look away to the entrance of the alley. “What the hell are you doing following me, Joel?”

He lets out a scoff through his nose and shoots daggers out of his eyes that you won’t meet. “What the hell am I doin’? Where the hell have you been?” He tries not to bark so loud. You won’t stop staring at the entrance of the alley, and Joel’s not sure if you’re thinking about running or thinking about being ambushed. 

He grabs your arm and drags you further into the alley, sunset on the horizon. He brings you to the back of an old school that was ready to collapse. He pushes you back against the wall and stands close, too close. 

“Answer me, what the hell happened to you?” His voice shoots goosebumps across your skin, low and growling for answers. 

The grip he has on your arm tightens and washes a flood of heat over your injured arm. Your mouth hisses with hurt, trying to breathe through the pain. You shake him off of you and clutch your arm lightly. “‘M fine, Joel, I can manage.” 

You’re speaking with a break in your voice that Joel can’t quite place. The hood you’re wearing is working overtime to shield your face. 

He pauses before he slowly looks over you. “Why are you wearin’ a sweatshirt in the middle of summer?” 

The silence he’s met with only leaves him more curious. What are you hiding? He swiftly pushes the hood off your head before you can stop him, and he’s not prepared for what he sees. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, his large hands delicately coming up and caressing your cheeks.

You sigh and roll your eyes. The skin around your right eye is blueish-purple. You lightly twinged at the contact, no matter how delicate he was being. “It’s not as bad as it seems, it doesn’t hurt-”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Joel mutters, lightly taking your chin between his thumb and index finger as he angles your face from left to right, allowing him to get a full look at the damage done to you. You glance down at his broken watch for comfort, the band fraying and the glass shattered, but he still wore it. 

You can’t exactly explain why your lower lip starts to wobble. It was so hard to stay away from Joel, to distance yourself, but it was all for keeping him safe. Your small fists lightly clutch the button-up shirt he’s wearing around his abdomen, finally feeling a slight sense of security. 

“Joel, I’m so sorry, I lost you the battery.”

“Someone stole it from you.” He corrects, shaking his head as a sinking feeling washes over you. Your eyelashes flutter as you feel a droplet of water land on your nose. You glance up at the sky, seeing the clear summer day has turned into dark clouds overhead threatening to flood the city in rain. Joel doesn’t look up, he stays watching you. 

You can’t seem to meet his eye contact. “But the battery-”

“Don’t care about the battery right now, care about you.” His thumb gently examines the cut on your lip. You curl it inwards to stray from his touch. “Robert do this to you? His guys?” Joel’s asking accusingly, and you know better than to lie to him. You swallow the growing lump in your throat and gently nod, blinking back tears. 

His face grows taut with anger, his brows furrowing and the creases in his forehead are set in stone. His jaw is clamped shut while he grits his teeth. Joel’s probably thinking of a million scenarios of how to put Robert down. Which way would last the longest, string out the torture, make him apologize to you, and beg for his life. Make him apologize to Joel for ever touching a hand on what was his. 

“Joel, you need to take a breath. Focus.” The last thing you wanted was for Joel to go on a rampage tonight in search of Robert. “I’m fine, this shit happens. We’ll get back on track and-”

“Can’t believe they let you live.” He murmurs, taking a look at the damage that he can visibly see before lightly sighing and releasing your face. You’re quick to pull the hood back up and cross your arms in front of you as some sort of shield. 

His eyes are sunken in, his chest is lightly heaving as he tries to sort through his muddled thoughts. The rain is starting to scatter more, hitting your muddy sneakers and Joel’s dark denim shirt. The setting sun meant curfew was just around the corner. 

“Come on. We’re goin’ home. Need to take a look at you in the light." You hesitate but his eyes are pleading for you to just let him take care of you.  So you let him. 

---

You travel up the same staircase you did just a week ago, limping and injured, broken and feeling guilty. Joel needed that battery for the truck. He was going to leave Boston and go to find his brother, Tommy. Neither of you had discussed if you would come with. For Joel, you think you might do just about anything for him if he asked. 

He stabs his key into the lock of his door. You hear a crying baby in a neighboring apartment, it was probably startled awake by the blaring of the curfew alarm. Lightning and thunder crack outside as Joel pushes open the door. You follow him inside and set down your backpack by the door like you usually do. Another strike of lightning makes his apartment flood itself with white-silver streaks of light, if only for a moment. Joel flips the lock back into place and hits the switch to the one overhead light in between the kitchen and the living room. You’re sweating up a storm in your sweatshirt. 

Though living in Boston’s QZ wasn’t great, you had to admit that not every quarantine zone had clean water and electricity. Joel had an old standing oscillating fan that was stationed at the foot of his bed during the summers since he ran so warm all the time. He said he traded about four or five meals worth of ration cards to get it, said that it was considered a steal. You shed the heavy material of your sweatshirt and sit tiredly down at the end of his bed, closing your eyes as the fan wicks away your sweat and cools your face. 

Living in spare housing the past week was hell. You barely slept. The homeless, sick, and injured all found their way to spare housing. You weren’t safe there. And you didn’t have any ration cards to your name. You had to trade one singular, perfectly clean syringe to afford four rolls of bread. It was all you could get at the time being. Everyone was fighting for work, knowing ration cards and food were low. Since you were still somewhat new to the QZ, you weren’t given privileges. You laid on a nasty, old cot for a week. Joel’s small apartment was heaven. The solitude was peaceful. 

Joel was standing at the sink, water running over a cloth as he stared down at the water circling the drain. He needed to take a breath, set his anger aside, and get you to talk. 

Joel wrings out the rag, loose droplets of water splattering in the sink before he sits down at his small wooden kitchen table. “C’mere.” He whispers, taking your attention away from the fan. You slowly stand up and make your way to the table under the central light in his living room, sighing softly as you slowly sink into the accompanying chair. Now in the light, he observes your injuries closer. 

Without your sweatshirt on, he can see bruises and scrapes along your arms, residual blood on your knuckles and under your nails. His little fighter. He notes that your tanktop is a bit shredded, and he fears the worst. 

You catch him staring and intervene. “Don’t worry. I didn’t let them get close enough to touch me like that.” You glance down at the sweaty tank top and lightly tug on the hole. “Just got this while I was running away, trying to hop a fence.” 

Joel frowns and slowly works his eyes over you. “‘S not like you to get caught. You’re pretty damn fast.”

You held down a bubble of laughter as your fingers played with the fraying material of your top. “Yeah, well, they already got one or two good hits on me, so I was a little hazy.” Your words don’t settle him. They infuriate him. 

He brings his attention to your face. Your eye must have been swollen at one point, but it wasn’t anymore. The puffiness had gone down, and the bruises were in their final stages of healing. You have another more prominent bruise on your cheekbone, black and blue, but it’s not broken. That’s good. The cut on your eyebrow and the matching one on your lip catches his attention. A man with a ring. 

“Red hair? Crooked nose, missing a front tooth?” 

You blink a few times rapidly, curious as to how the hell Joel knew the characteristics of one of your attackers. 

“How did you…” You start to say until your words trail off, shaking your head in confusion. 

Joel sneers lightly and brings the wet rag up to gently dab at the cut on your lip. “Not a lot of men are stupid enough to wear a ring that basically signs their name on whoever’s face they’re knocking in.” How he describes your fight makes you flinch and shift uncomfortably in your chair, evading his eye contact. “Sorry.” He mutters quietly. “His name is Chase, Jase, somethin’ stupid like that. One of Robert’s guys.” Joel’s words lightly flitter off as he shifts his attention to your lip once more. 

It was still swollen and angry. You probably tried to eat with it still agitated and delayed its healing. But you know this already. You ate because you didn’t have a choice. It was that, or starve. He hated knowing you were roaming the streets in a horrible hunger, especially when he had ration cards waiting for you at home. 

Your eyes twitch closed as Joel’s wet rag rinses the blood out of the cut on your lip, the old excess blood lightly trickling into your mouth. Your tastebuds catch the tang of metallic and salt. You did what you could with the medical supplies you had, but you didn’t want to waste on yourself what you could potentially sell. If you were avoiding Joel for a while, you needed to be able to make trades of your own. You did use some supplies to clean the cut on your head. You were lucky the wall you were thrown into didn’t leave you with a concussion. 

Joel is still wrestling with why the hell you didn’t come home, why he had to go out and find you. Why, why, why? Why did he let you go alone? Why did the deal go south? A terrible feeling soured his stomach.  Robert’s men were ruthless, they must have felt kind enough to let you live. Or it was a message to Joel from Robert. You’re next. 

Joel wasn’t scared of Robert, but for them to be scared of a young woman was a mystery for the masses. 

He tosses the rag down on the table and stands up. “I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘em.” He grunts up, his lips snarling and his nostrils flaring in heated fury. 

He storms to the kitchen and impatiently fills up a glass of water. Joel was fantasizing about plunging his thumbs into Robert’s eye sockets and squeezing until his head turned into mush. Or maybe Joel could take him to the Eastern district, throw him in the Massachusetts Bay, and hold him underwater, only bringing him up from the brink of drowning before pushing him down again. And again. And again. 

Your sweet voice breaks Joel’s murderous thoughts. “Joel, I owe you the battery, and I promise I’ll find another one. Just give me a little time and-”

Joel slams the glass of water on the counter, the clatter of it echoing around the room. “Don’t care about the damn battery!” His back is to you, broad and strong shoulders heaving lightly as his head hangs low. His hands are gripping the edge of the counter. “Thought they fuckin’ kidnapped you! Or worse!”

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, your lower lip wobbling once more as he slowly starts shaking his head. 

“I almost lost you, and it’s my fault.” 

Your eyes soften at his words. He’s felt this way before, and he’s been haunted by the mistake ever since. His daughter, you think. 

His low, southern drawl makes you focus on him once more. “Tell me why you hid. Why didn’t you come to me? We could have figured things out, for fuck’s sake!” He shouts as he turns to face you, his body falling back into the counter as he crosses his arms. 

Your chest swells with heavy emotion. You stand up so fast from your chair that its sent scraping backward. “I did come here! I did! I heard you inside and I..” you pause and shake your head, still finding your voice. 

“I was scared you’d be upset with me letting someone steal the battery, I was afraid you’d go after Robert and get yourself fucking-- killed, Joel! I don’t want you to die, okay? I need you!” 

“And I need you!” He shouts back, lips parted with heavy breaths, both of you trying to settle with the newly shared revelation. 

You both stare at each other from across the room, watching as Joel’s jaw slowly begins to click loose. He shoves himself up off the counter and closes the distance between you two. You hesitantly take a step back, and he pauses his footsteps. His eyes soften, and he looks as broken as you do. 

“Please,” he pleads, gently shaking his head. “Would never hurt you, baby.” He puts his hand out, a gesture of kindness and warmth that you’d missed all week, yet you still hesitate. You almost wait too long, he’s already reeling his hand back into his side. 

“Joel,” you whisper with soft relief. You eagerly take a few steps forward, ignoring his hand, and gently settle your head on his chest as you tightly squeeze your arms around his lower back. You close your eyes and melt into him, finding solace in Joel’s embrace. 

Joel’s arms stay hovering in the air for a moment, lips parted as he looks down at the top of your head. He shames himself for even hesitating. He puts one hand on the side of your head and holds you to his chest, while the other settles low on your back. He breaths peacefully for the first time in a week. 

You stay like that for who knows how long. He’s warm, and you feel protected. You sink into his arms, he takes on your weight. He walks you backward to the foot of his bed once more, letting you delicately fall back into the mattress. You watch with tired eyes as he unties the laces of your sneakers, one after the other. He shucks down your jeans, making you giggle. 

“Joel, you don’t wanna fuck me right now, I smell like spare housing.” 

The right side of his mouth twitches up as he shakes his head at you. “I know you do. ‘M takin’ you to shower.” 

You sit up on your elbows as you smile a bit bashfully at him. “Good. Because I’m too sore to fool around anyway.” You whisper with a teasing smile as you grab the bottom of your tank top, peeling it up and off of your sticky skin. Joel tries not to stare. You’re not sure if he’s clocking your naked figure or the bruising around your ribs and legs. 

You’d need some time to heal. Joel knows you do. While you shower, he makes you as big of a feast he can muster up with the canned goods he has in his cupboards. You try to eat the first real meal you’ve had in a week slowly, to savor the taste, but you end up shoveling your spoon into the bowl and scraping it clean.  

Joel’s eyes are on you the whole time, watching you, observing you. He won’t let you out of his sight for a while, but maybe that’s what’s good for you. You meet his gaze and he speaks a silent vow. We’ll find Robert, steal the battery back, then kill him and anyone else who laid a finger on you. He nods. You nod too. 

Joel’s not sure how late it is by the time you two fall into bed together. He doesn’t know how to tell you how much you mean to him, but he says it in the way he holds you. Back in his arms, he’s more alert of how sore you are from your fight. He gently cups your face, watching your eyes slowly flutter closed with long blinks. You must be so tired. And he doesn’t want to keep you awake. He’s afraid to look away, like if he lets you out of his sight, you’ll disappear again. 

He speaks your name and gently stirs you awake. “Hm?” You softly murmur, bringing your hand up and gently feeling over the planes of Joel’s chest, fingers lightly grazing his chest hair. 

He looks down at you for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “Don’t run away like that again.” His words are stern before he pauses again,  lightly pushing some hair behind your ear and touching you like a delicate flower. You watch him attentively. He cups your jawline and angles you to look up at him.  “We’re takin’ that battery back, and we’re gettin’ the hell out of here. You hear me?” 

Your heart swells at his words. We. You slowly nod in agreement. You feel Joel’s gentle kisses on your forehead and the tip of your nose. You lean up to capture his lips, but he falters by an inch. A confused expression crosses your face. 

“You’re hurt.” He mutters, referring to the cut on your lip. Don’t wanna hurt ya, sweet girl.

You roll your eyes and take his face in your small hands. “Don’t care.” You whisper before you pull him in, and the two of you share a featherlight kiss. You let it last, both of you soaking it in after a week apart. A week too long. 

Joel’s the first to pull away, giving you a playful little glare. The bruising on your face reminds him of the boxing movies he grew up watching. “Easy, Rocky.” 

You look at him confused and cock your head. “Who?”

He rolls his eyes at you and sighs, gently running his hand down your side. “Go to sleep. I’ll teach you about Rocky one through five tomorrow. D’you at least get a few good hits on Robert or his guys?”

You hum quietly and let your eyes dip closed. “Mhm.”

“Like I taught ya?”

“Just like you taught me. Gave ‘em the ole left, right, goodnight." You bring up your fists to demonstrate. "Made Robert’s nose bleed, think I broke it.”  

Your head falls into Joel’s chest, feeling it rumble with laughter and a sense of pride. “That’s my girl.”

His body shields you from the outside world. You sleep like a rock for the rest of the night. You live another day, and so does Joel. But with Joel’s promise, you know Robert’s days are numbered. You’ll be sure of it. 

---

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[astroloverblog]

Saturn in the signs pt.1

Saturn in Aries:

You probably feel that you are more capable than those around you, hence you may end up doing all the work others telling you what to do. Having this placement can make you self-sacrificing. The lesson you have to learn in your life is to take charge of your own destiny, stand up for what you believe in and start loving yourself. If you create enough self discipline you could get great success. Because personal goals are that important to you, teamwork might get blocked. The stress that comes from trying to achieve too much could make you prone to headaches. Their often thoughtless and unscrupulous/risky actions bring them numerous rivals and enemies. If Saturn is poorly aspected, fate is not kind to these people. Getting ahead is very difficult, which creates strong inner tensions. As a result of their assertiveness, these people also find it difficult to fit into the community. Many struggles and worries are the result. Might also struggle with loved ones, having unstable relationships. Marriage also harbors potential for conflict and is a problem in many cases. As a result, you could be a very capable leader who knows what needs to be done and isn't afraid to go out and make things happen no matter what the cost or how long it takes. Consequently, you run the risk of interfering in the affairs of others and trying to influence them. You may just be ignoring them and trying to get them to follow your ideas instead of their ideas. Obstacles, disappointments and constraints may stand in the way of your unconventional, confident commitment. Impatience can undo all your efforts so be as careful as possible in implementing your plans. You’re determined, self-confident to arrogance and able to remain humble. Success brings diligence and efficiency, contemplation and discretion. Over the years, you get used to creative work. The people around you consider you a self-centered and unwilling person, headstrong and willful, prone to sadness and melancholy. But perhaps the development of aggression, cruelty and ruthlessness, sometimes leading to destructive behavior and tragic consequences. There is a great desire for meaningful, goal-oriented activity. Likely business creation and efficiency. Versatile interests, great opportunities, great functionality and consistency in approaching the solution of big and small problems. Such a person, despite your tyrannical nature, always has many connections in society. You are easily excited by new ideas, strict on yourself and on others, readily springs into action in the presence of an external impulse of sufficient strength. Many people love your creative restlessness. For such a person is very dangerous loneliness, the lack of a field of free action and immersion in revolution and rebellion - you will almost certainly be evil under these circumstances. Only alone depends on the development of numerous skills and strengthening of the character. You might have difficulty realizing that those around you are entitled to independent conduct and personal judgment. Using the energy properly, you can display wonders of endurance through the combination of initiative and discipline. In this case, you innate enthusiasm and resourcefulness is shown positively and constructively. Due to the many subconscious fears, such a person often feels an need for security. It is possible to communicate with a jealous partner or the development of a "paternal complex". With negative character development, it is possible to generate impatience, superficiality, a tendency to self-justification and blaming others in all difficulties and misfortunes that catch your eye due to your own miscalculations, mistakes and inaccuracies. Such a person should constantly learn tact and cooperation with people. Often a good emotional discharge is brought on by physical activity. A determined person, easy to climb, easily angered, and surprisingly surly in situations where others are forced to disagree with.

Saturn in Taurus:

You are a tireless worker and have patience, caution, determination, discipline, organizing ability and can go the distance when those around you fall. Hard work is your forte. Your feelings are serious, well-controlled and not easily changed, although at times it may be hard for you to forgive and forget. Loyalty and money is a important thing to you. You may be stubborn and materialistic but you can also be a methodical realist. You desire a stable social status, the feeling to be adored and accepted by society. If the saturn is bad aspected, then jealousy might be a thing. You take things slowly, but with thought and perseverance. Outwardly outgoing and reserved, they are polite and kind with other people, which greatly increases their chances of success in life. The will of these people is extremely tough and persistent. Failure only spurs them on to redouble their efforts. The desired goals in life are usually achieved through hard work and discipline. You tend to associate your sense of security very closely with having possessions and money, and overdoing it could make you stingy and unhappy for temporary. Because then you keep thinking about what might happen tomorrow and whether you will have enough money to pay for everything. You should consider your personal values ​​and learn what real security is. You take your feelings seriously and know how to control them. Saturn in Taurus dramatically increases a person's responsibility in the circumstances and situations in which this sign is active. In the negative version of Saturn in Taurus there is an extreme lack of trust in any constructive session, feeling the enmity of the material world, mystical depression, anger and crystallization in a complete alienation from the world. This person will never really be comfortable. With a negative development of nature, you’re inclined to do everything only on your own. Form tape type, prone to intrigues even for the sake of small profits and basically incapable of any cooperation. In the positive development of this placement, there can be artistic interests. This person becomes wise pragmatist, has enviable patience and rare exposure. Wisdom might be the key you need in life. You’re realistic and thrifty, reliable and solid, constantly striving for property, showing a rigid, unyielding will and working virtuously in the methodical plan. You’re very afraid of fate, because you suspect the movement of the deep energies of karma in your own soul, but you do not tend to study yourself. You show enviable patience in building projects and consistent implementation of real programs. You are able to give up personal pleasures in favor of an unrelenting movement toward future security. Because a person is always characterized by a "far-sightedness", you might shy away from extravagance and unfoundedness in thoughts, in speech and in deeds. The picture of thinking is extremely realistic, the art of living is extremely practical. Such a person thinks consistently, weighing all the pros and cons. In conversation you’re polite and friendly, in cooperation honest and conscientious. There is a certain reluctance that is associated with the fear of losing the chance of gaining personal benefit through over-informing others. Perhaps the development of self-will and resentment, over-materialistic thinking and feelings of cold, sadness and darkness, cruelty and recklessness, over-ambitiousness and ostentatious arrogance to implement in one's goals, plans and intentions. You’re inclined to take collective norms and do not represent your point of view. You have developed a high sense of duty and the gift of self-organization. Always feeling strict self-discipline from myself and others, firmly convinced that the path I have taken is the right one. Your seriousness is manifested outwardly in the form of patient work in the field of wealth creation, as well as a rare stability and solidity in difficult situations. You possess fantastic resilience and an enviable firmness of character and convictions.

Saturn in Gemini:

This is a good position for Saturn, but you may need to develop faith in the future. The will to learn new things can be very helpful for claiming success. The lesson you have to learn in your life is learning how to trust yourself and your intuition. Avoid self-doubting and don’t get too pessimistic. Your mindset is practical and logical. You might find things like science, physics as well as mathematics or mechanical engineering interesting. Don’t get too attached to details, or else you’ll loose the big picture. You’re very flexible especially when it comes to new situations. The quick grasping intellect of these people enables them to penetrate quickly and deeply into the most diverse problems and to solve them. Your particularly profound thinking motivates you to delve deeper and deeper into things. Many researchers and inventors can be found under this placement. Your lungs need a lot of oxygen, so it's best for you to sleep in a well-ventilated room. If you want to be successful at something, it is important that you discipline your mind and learn to think and act methodically. The complete lack of confidence in the reliability of the coming Gemini and outgoing information from them and stability in communication Saturn does not make them their life is sweet, but compensatory measures bring such fruits that the envy of most particularly harmonious Gemini are through Saturn not easier, especially in youth. It is helpful in overcoming the obstacles, insufficiently adaptable, anxious and prone to depression. In the positive development of this person's placement they can become smart, quick and able to do several things at once. You have a cultivated mind, can work well with numbers and usually show enviable skill in work that requires intelligent hands and a good head, for example in business or as a magician. Such a person is zealous in his studies, likes to solve the contradictions and solve problems. You’re reserved, conscientious and have an amazing talent in the field of literature and the exact sciences. Contacts bring you real pleasure, because you feel a constant need for communication. This placement is great when it comes to learning a new language. He is big on advertising and extremely successful in propaganda campaigns. Such a person is in a good mood more often than in a bad mood, you’re smart and skill full both in work and in communication, but tend not to notice your fatigue and therefore often leads to exhaustion from overwork and overexertion. Such a person can adapt to any situation. You’re systematic and logically consistent, and therefore, being self-acquired, being able to think through real-life problems to the end. It generally refers to the type of successful "problem solvers" who combine literary, technical, and artistic skills. A particularly successful career is possible in the areas of teaching, science and technology. This person loves to learn - and learns throughout life. However, it often shows disrespect for others, which is why you can be considered as flighty, moody and a argumentative person. When you have taken on too many duties and responsibilities, you can quickly become overwhelmed and health risks. Sometimes shyness arises, combined with an exaggerated responsibility for expressing one's thoughts in words. This is a very resourceful and skillful in all people, ignoring the frequent fear and sadness. You show interest in modern and progressive thinking, you like deep reflections and studies complicated questions.

Saturn in Cancer:

Because you might feel unloved at times, you can get moody and fearful or even overdramatic. Your unconscious fear of being hurt by others can cause you to withdraw from too close an emotional involvement with others. Might lack empathy. Family life is always difficult, as is the relationship with parents. Its important that you accept yourself and let others know how you feel. In relationships you might not be able to give warmth, because you always seem to hide your emotions to your partner. Thats mostly the reason why you feel lonely or unloved. Abandonment and the future are definitely one of your biggest fears. If the Saturn is bad aspected, this could mean your hypersensitive. Since the free expression is getting blocked, you might isolate or alienate yourself from family members. When it comes to partnership, family or career, you have the ability to give emotional security. The will of these people is tough and strong, but often unbalanced on the mental level. Own goals and plans are vehemently pursued, but their emotional conflict makes them divided internally. This often results in worries and difficulties in fate. You can be so busy protecting yourself from hurt that you don't see the hurt of others. It is important to keep your appetite under control, otherwise you may develop health problems. This person enjoys working at home, managing and cleaning the premises. It is persistent, direct, frank, in the course of performance of tasks often there is a surprising difference and the periods of a recession of enthusiasm. Negative development of this placement creates a type of person who is untrustworthy, tends to evade and procrastinate, and blames others. Such a person comes into contact with great difficulties, tends to isolate and become isolated. He often turns out to be lazy and idle, often complains to everyone, is extremely unhappy with life and extremely sensitive even to minor troubles. With positive character development, this is a diligent and conscientious worker who works best alone. Such a person is distinguished by restraint in the expression of feelings, seriousness in the perception of life, a clear sense of duty, frugality and a tendency to cling to what has already been achieved and formed. Such a person needs guarantees that one receives when buying a house or a job, although you may not have a high, but permanent social status. You might seem a bit cold emotionally, as if alienated from real life. Sometimes you overemphasizes the role of tradition and show cruelty in dealing with subordinates. The material interests of such a person are more often associated with the desire to grow to a quiet, comfortable old age. In the course of fate, slowness and inhibition are clearly expressed, which often leads to the formation of constant deep dissatisfaction with life. Develops increased sensitivity, excessive receptivity, and acute crushability. There are very serious problems in understanding the ideals of this person and the life and the parents and ancestors. At the same time, a painful dependence on the past. Thirst at home, garden, garden and real estate in general is very strong. Perhaps a hobby in the field of applied and decorative arts. The ability to self-organize is difficult to recognize. Discipline to such a person is not easy. Strong emotional vulnerability of feelings are combined with external coolness, dryness and strength. Almost constantly this person is in a defensive position, mysterious, suspicious and cautious. Perhaps the development of a tendency to replace real life with dreams about them, which is why it cannot be a question of satisfaction with what has been achieved. But a person perfectly understands all your hidden desires and quickly feels like physically the weight and value of material acquisitions. You cling wholeheartedly to existing property, at the deepest level of psychic life, and therefore applies very deeply to the breaking of ties with property or the destruction of the latter.

Saturn in Leo:

You’re proud but insecure, and this combination can limit your opportunities. You may feel that you had to grow up too fast and were prevented from having that carefree time we all deserve. You need love, but may not know how to go about giving or receiving it, thus you may isolate yourself from others. Saturn don’t feels well in this sign because leo is known for his ego. People with this placement are either humble and loving or battling their ego. One strives upwards with great activity and wants to attain a powerful position in life. These people demand attention and respect. Your personal ambition drives you constantly. It gives enormous willpower, capable of removing all resistance and obstacles. The interests of others are usually ignored. People tend towards self-aggrandizement and arrogance. On the other hand, they are reliable, outgoing and warm in their affection for others. Qualities which in turn are favorable for relationships in love and friendships. Stop overthinking cause others are not worth your time, you have better things to do in life. You creatively approaches the decision of a power problem, in particular the clarification of questions of justification of rights, structuring and delimitation of restrictions. Such a person longs for a firm, stable and constant power. You care a lot about your looks. You take yourself very seriously and is able to efficiently perfect matter and finance. You try not to substitute primitive individualism for a meaningful approach to reality, as you subconsciously know that looping about yourself will unleash your creativity and deprive you of rich opportunities. Such a person feels a tremendous reserve of strength and talent for the depths of your own soul, and your psychological complexes are most often associated with the impossibility of full disclosure of inner gifts in the current situation. It is difficult for you in general to manifest your abilities creatively, it is not easy to recognize yourself, it is very difficult to realize your potential. Even in the presence of great talent, you can forever remain "high hopes". You prefer everything to your own ideas, a brilliant autodidact who does not ask for help but can do everything himself. You try to translate your unfulfilled dreams and unfulfilled plans into your own children and quickly force them into their educational tyranny. So you subconsciously try to compensate for the failures in your life by demonstrating your children's outstanding multi-faceted talents. These people usually show a deep and abiding interest in the problems of creativity and the task of developing people's skills. You might be very hardy and independent but sometimes tend to overdo others, especially children. You’re often rejected by society, like dying to focus on small, but concrete, tangible achievements, instead of respecting a person for not yet revealed, but in potency great talent. The main thing for such a person is refusal to dictate, paying attention to promoting the development of the talents of others and the deepest humility - not only in dealing with colleagues, but also in dealing with children. Such a person openly rushes to power, recognition and fame. You tend to neglect the pleasures of life in order to achieve set goals. Your passions are strong, irritability is great, and jealousy knows no bounds. You are a bright person who doesn't often get the chance to be successful in every respect.

Saturn in Virgo:

Life can be stressful or unlucky sometimes. You can be really perfectionistic and there can be a fear of criticism and making mistakes. Getting things done is not your best strength. There may be a desire for solitude. Its common for these people to feel like they are not good enough, especially if saturn is bad aspected. You have a really good sense of organisation and analytical abilities. Don’t overwork yourself and stop worrying over the smallest things that aren’t even necessary. This connection is unfavorable for love and marriage. Due to their strongly developed intellectual orientation, these people mostly neglect the emotional level. The feelings are sometimes deep but never passionate. Thinking is concentrated and goes deep. These people are never superficial, but shaped by a very serious view of life. Your expectations can be low, if you want to change your low self esteem than start setting your standards higher. This placement is good for someone wanting to be a psychologist, therapist or anything in this way. You’re characterised by a deep sense of personal responsibility, a critical attitude towards mastering the new and the ability to delve deep into the essence of the topics covered. The person can be totally focused on work and like to outsmart their commitments. Subordinates see you as a serious and aloof leader. The intellect is concentrated and perceptive, the person is chaste and reserved in all manifestations. Discretion and prudence can be combined with a desire for high spirituality. In the worst case, unhealthy pragmatism, persistent distrust and blandness develop. The mind clearly rules over feelings. In work, such a person shows sober analysis, considerable greed and attention to details and trifles. You’re aware of the secret of self-discipline, self-restraint and self-restraint. The inclination to a strict way of life can reach extreme manifestations of asceticism and fanaticism. This person is hidden, cautious, vigilant and always doubts everything. The character is stubborn and power-hungry, but personal initiative and enterprise are small. You’re as great as a performer, because a worker inspires trust among others. Success in business and in literary theater criticism is possible. Careful detailed elaboration of specific internal difficulties is used to gain stable confidence in one's actions. Very strong sense of duty, patience and perseverance in attention to detail. Sometimes this person gives more importance to details than the main idea and follows the main line of development. Through patience and obedience one can successfully learn from the experiences of others. Works itself well and looks wondrous in the surrounding working ability. The most important wish in life is to become a master, a professional in your field. Excessive attention to a smaller one can cause psychological overload and expressed in nervous exhaustion and sustained internal dissatisfaction. Outside of work a person feels his own uselessness, retirement can die of boredom. In general, the attitude towards work is biased and extremely interested. Orderliness can go to the extreme. Such a person feels uncomfortable in an unstable, extreme situation. For the flowering of all their abilities there is a comfortable home and no complaints from neighbors and employees. Feelings are clearly suppressed by the mind, the mind is analytical, algorithmic., but such a person can serve as an excellent connoisseur of the practical usefulness of technical inventions and commercial proposals - you feel useless and unnecessary things in your heart. Everyone regards this person as a clear, moral and hardworking pragmatist.

@ 2022 Copyright astrolover

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part. 2: >>click here<<

[my-deer-friend]

Hii I have a bit of personal question, if that is alright. I am very interested in the American Revolution but I do not live in America. I would like to become a historian or researcher of that time period one day. As a student do you think it is difficult to be a historian of the American Revolution when you are not American? I get a lot of books and information online, but I do not think it is the same as being in a place? Do you think your school program a good stepping stone to get into an American graduate school? Is that something you want to do one day?

Sorry for all the inquiries, you are just the only person on here who is in a similar situation as myself! Best wishes to you!

Hi Anon! This is a really good question, and I'll do my best to answer it as both a history student and a university professional.

(First, I'll note that my interest personally is not primarily in the American revolution, but rather in the 18th century more broadly. That includes lots of angles that I can pursue in Europe, not least looking at relations in the Atlantic world, the "republic of letters" and the enlightenment, and thematically I'm interested in queer history, which can be studied everywhere. I also have no desire to live in the US. But, yes, let's assume AmRev is the focus.)

There are different considerations for undergrad vs postgrad.

Undergraduate

At undergraduate level, it doesn't matter too much where you study. At this point in your journey, broadly speaking, the focus is on developing your academic skills, learning established content about your topic, and exploring a range of scholarly interests (not just the topic itself, but how to research that topic – i.e. methodologies). As long as your university has a department for American history, or even better a major, you're fine.

While you're busy with your degree, you can supplement your learning about the period in a lot of ways, including:

Using your own library to access books, journal articles and databases (and getting materials through inter-library loans if need be)

Using the vast and ever-growing online resources on American history provided by institutions like the Library of Congress, American universities and libraries (e.g. NYPL)

Where something isn't already available online, contacting the archive that has it and seeing if you can get a copy (I wrote a post about that)

Talk to your history prof about your interest, and they will probably be able to suggest some avenues to pursue. One very useful tool is to look up the AmRev curriculum or syllabus from other univerisities and see what readings and topics they cover (just google: "american revolution" syllabus). Here's one that came up.

And then – and I'll put this point in bold because it's the most important thing I'll say here:

👉✨Attend conferences✨👈

Conferences are where you make invaluable connections with like-minded scholars, hear about new research, find out about opportunities (scholarships, programs, funding, etc.), discover what a career in academia actually looks like, get advice from people already doing the job you want to do, and so on. There are even conferences specifically for undergrad students, or there might be a track at a generalist conference that allows emerging researchers to present on a topic. Lots of these take place online (hence, cheaper), or you might be able to apply for funding from your university to attend (or idk you have a fabulously wealthy great-aunt).

Postgraduate

While undergrad is more about learning, postgrad is more about finding out. The higher up the ladder you go, the narrower your focus becomes, and you start to need more specialised guidance. To get the most out of your learning, you need to go where the experts are, and naturally, many of the most cutting-edge scholars on American history are, well, in America. You'll want to be surrounded by a community of like-minded scholars. And yeah, "being there" can be important not just for better access to primary materials, but also for insights that come from physical, social and cultural proximity.

That said, I don't think it's impossible (or inadvisable) to study the American revolution outside of America; it's just trickier. Doing that successfully comes down to 1) finding the right advisor and 2) choosing the right topic.

By this point, you should know who the leading scholars are in your particular niche of interest. Nobody really studies "the American revolution" writ large; rather, they (and you) will focus on the political or racial or sociocultural or regional or culinary or-- whatever aspect of it. It might just happen that the people in your field are located near you.

You can also approach the topic from a different angle – start from a local point of interest that you can to relate to the AmRev. (Maybe you're Italian, and you know about Italian History Blorbo who went to fight in the war, and there's a story to tell there. Maybe you're Dutch and you have things to say about the intricacies of the financial and political support the Netherlands gave to America. And so on.) This might, in fact, lead to novel insights and perspectives that haven't been explored yet.

Good luck to you!

If anyone wants to share their own experiences, please feel free!

[punkeropercyjackson]

I want to know everything about Nia!

AND MONTHS LATER,YOU ARE FINALLY GETTING HIM!!!!

Nia The Dragon Nomad,born just Nia,just Nia and is 16 at the start of the series

His version of the franchise is called 'Avatar:The Airbender Legacies' and it's 4 books instead of 3 and the 4th one is 'Book 4:Air'

He's half Air Nomad,half Fire Nation but specifically the black etchnic subgroup in the comics you helped me discover which is what led to his creation!!As pointed out by jewish Atla fans,it would be more realistic for the AN to have a small surviving population that went into hiding after the Air Nomad Genocide and Nia's mom is a descendant of them!His parents names are Yung and Dahla and Nia's mixed heritage is symbolism for the coming era of peace

Nia was born in the Fire Nation as lower class,Dahla a homemaker and Yung a chef at the Fire Nation Palace.Dahla has Air Nomad features but never practiced her culture for safety so nobody could point it out without sounding like a maniac and Yung's job led to Nia meeting Zuko when they were 4 years old and becoming best friends and keeping it a secret since Zuko and Azula weren't allowed to befriend 'peasents'(hence why Ozai encouraged Azula to only interact with Mai and Ty Lee).Nia was unaware of not being fully FN but his dad was one of the first prisoner's of The Boiling Rock for a crime he didn't commit and this led to to his mom using Airbending publicly to try to stop him from being taken away so the next day,their house was burned down with her in it by Fire Nation supremacists and Nia being only 13 at the time had no choice but to run away and become a Nomad,leaving Zuko a tear stainned letter in pink ink explaining what happened and telling him how much he loved him as a person and for being his best friend(Nia wouldn't find out Dahla had been an Air Nomad for a long time,not being present when she bended and Zuko got a lot meaner after he left since he was his only real loved one due to Ursa's dissaperance and desperately looked for clues on him,seeing him everywhere even though he was gone)

Nia learned firebending on his own and made a name for himself on his travels by helping people with kindness and resources and fighting for them,committing various anti-imperialist crimes.During this time,he realized he's trans and is a woman and a man at the same time and his gender presentation is very feminine but he uses only masculine ponouns!!He's also autistic,adhd,mdd and anxious and his hair is 4b textured

Personality wise,Nia is very much an Air Nomad-He's super bubbly,openly kind and gentle,silly,optimistic,unrestrained and open-minded.He follows the no kill rule as a buddhist but also believes in severe brutality and has anger issues,low self-eestem and a snarky sense of humor,is very older sisterly/pseudo-momish as a coping mechanism from having almost no positive adult figures as a kid and being picked on by other kids and even adults all the time and his interests are pink/pastel things,suncakes,art,games,animal life and dancing!!!

He's introduced in 'The Warriors of Kyoshi' as he was on Kyoshi Island due to his travels and joins the Gaang because of his instant platonic connection with Aang.Aang says there's something familiar about Nia he can't quite place and he takes on the mom friend title instead of Katara since he's the eldest now and actually did it to himself instead of parentification like her.The two girls bond over being feminine and him and Sokka bicker all the time due to opposite personalities but they really are friends and Kataang is still a thing here so Nia wingmans them

It takes a hot minute for Zunia to reunite(as in several episodes)but Zuko gets hints to it through reports from his crew and is in denial of it at first only because he dosen't want his hopes to be crushed.We get flashbacks to their childhood days,including Zuko drawing both of them as dragons and Nia making strawberry suncakes for the first time for them to share as foreshadowing and this makes their reunion all the more upsetting because they don't even recognize eachother at first due to Nia's complete style change and Zuko's scar,plus the puberty,on top of his old best friend hunting down his new best friend at the order of his dad who he always made him feel safe from.There's a lot of tears and yelling and Nia has to be comforted by his honorary younger siblings afterwards and Zuko has to pretend nothing happened for the sake of not putting him in danger

Nia's very strong and smart so he's a pretty useful addition to The Gaang and provides comedy/jokes too and Aang tells him about The Air Nomads for funsies which leads to

The 'Dahla was actually an Air Nomad' drops happens in 'The Avatar State' when Aang and Nia are trying to figure out Avatar stuff together and it leds to spiritual magic jizz revealing it through Nia's soul.They're heavily shocked but Aang bursts into happy tears and tackle hugs Nia,rambling about how happy he is that he's not actually The Last Airbender and Nia smiles and agrees,telling him he already thinks of him as his little brother and Aang views him as his older sister so they officially dub eachother 'The Flight Siblings',Sokka telling them it's a stupid name and Katara drops water him for it.In 'The Blue Spirit',Nia had romantic moments with Zuko in his Blue Spirit suit so he gains a dreamy crush on him that's played for irony and second-hand embarrasment humor.Aang becomes Nia's Airbender Master starting in 'Nomads,Leafs and Forevers' and this strengthens their bond big time

Nia rejected Jet's attempted flirtatiouns on first meeting by saying 'I came here to make friends-Only friends so instead of trying something,try covering my back' and they got along well from then on even post 'betrayal',Toph dissed him at first because of how girly Nia but after they actually talked they clicked perfectly,'The Tale of Nia' replaces Iroh's section and it's about him saving a group of kids from Earth Kingdom propaganda by impressing them and being sweet to them and it's implied they grew up to be freedom fighters and 'The Tale of Zuko' is a gag bit where girls keep trying to hit on him but he keeps comparing them to Nia subcounciously so none of them stick,Ty Lee let's out a loud squee when she meets Nia again face to face and squishes him up in a hug as she says she's missed seeing his pretty pink face(platonically)and Mai drawls that he's gotten even weirder and Azula adresses him as 'Nini' when she was younger but also 'The Avatar's babysitter' now and they don't know eachother at all well since Ozai didn't even know about Nia being best friends with his son

Jet survives his attempted assisination by the Dai Li and joins the Gaang as it's 'token bad' teammate(not really,he's just genuinely radical).The shippy undertones between him and Katara are gone as they turn into platonic close friends and he acts as the cool bitchy but reliable older brother.Hama is also never villanized but potrayed as a tragic figure and a badass who gets reperations from the Fire Nation and basically adopts the Gaang as her grandkids,Katara still being scared of Bloodbending and choosing not to kill Yon Rha so Hama does the job for her since Kya was her childhood friend's daughter and she's built for killing fascists already,not being only 14.Yung and Dahla are given big significance on Nia's story as his parents and how they influenced her as a person like Zuko and their own life experiences did and 'The Dragon Nomad' is a title given to him pre-series because of being a traveling firebender but also has a double meaning that wasn't even intentional in-universe and there's quips about it as a running gag

Nia's none too eager to return to The Fire Nation but powers through and teaches his teammates how to blend in and takes them to a clothing store he used to go to as a kid and they have a positive talk with the owner not recognizing them until they all leave and as they exited,they make a comical expression and whisper 'I always knew that kid wasn't dead!I don't think that little airhead can even die!'.As they settle in,Nia can't help but go visit where his old home used to be to see nobody had even bothered picking things up or replacing it with a new building and it makes them tear up and he brakes down on his knees,screaming about how much he hates fire as he breathes pink flames from his mouth and dosen't even notice.He stays that way for a solid onscreen 30 seconds and is found by Zuko who frantically picks him up and hides him in an ally with him before soldiers can find him.He dosen't get to comfort him for long as Nia fully registers the situation and shoots up,curtly saying with a glare 'Thanks for the shoulder to cry on,Zuko'.Hope you're enjoying your new life perfect life without me' and runs off back to the Gaang's temporary residence and Zuko dosen't even bother getting up,struggling to find the words until Nia's too far to hear him,yelling out 'BUT IT'S NOT MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU!YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO PERFECT!'

Nia infilters the Royal Fire Academy For Girls and disrupts everything as he encourages the other female students to fight for their rights and proves to them the anti-Air Nomad things they were taught are lies and burned the academy down using his pink fire and his new friends help out with their own firebending.He cracks a couple eggs on the way too and 'The Beach' confirms Mai as a comphet lesbian,Tyzula as a mutually canon ship even if they don't get together and Nia is on Zuko's mind a lot and the fun summer-y setting he's in dosen't help.Nia's swimsuit is a pastel pink two piece and he has a crown of matching hisbiscus him and Aang made for eachother

Zuko and Nia finally make up in 'The Western Air Temple' as Zuko's decided to give up evil by becoming Aang's Firebending Master.Katara immediately rejects him as per canon,Aang welcomes him with open arms as always and Nia dosen't really know what to do with him.Zuko does his best to reassure him he's truly changed for the better in both words and actions and tries to recreate what they were like as kids until Nia puts his foot down and tells him 'We're not the same as we used to be........And i'm okay with that.I love the Zuko here like i did the old one' and Zuko's entire face goes beet red and Aang connects the dots and grins cheekily as he had a feeling they were a thing from the start.They act as the Team Mom and Team Dad of The Gaang or 'The Dragon Parents/Dadko and Momia' and Katara makes a snide comment on how she'd be expected to be with Zuko over Nia by the public

'The Boiling Rock' has Nia,Zuko and Sokka rescuing Yung and Hakoda and a conversation between Nia and Azula as they fight that's basically just Nia going 'You're not a perfect sexy calculated villaness,you're 14 with an abusive fascist dad and you deserve a therapist and some goddamn friends and fruit pies so you can calm down' and Azula responding 'FUCK YOU MEAN???NUH UH!!!!' and Yung and Nia have a heartwarming reunion and he eventually legally adopts Aang,Jet and Toph since they don't have living/good parents like the Water Tribe Siblings do.Nia's Ember Island Player counterpart is played by a nonblack actor who jokes about having no gender and reminders everyone he's still half Fire Nation not JUST Air Nomad because they're 'both equally important' and Nia'd never cringed harder in his life.Kataang went a bit differently since Aang asked Nia for romance advice since him and Zuko were unspokenly unofficially together so their only season 3 kiss is the finale one and the remaining run time is used on developing the other characters,including The Air Nomads in flashbacks.Nia is given a half dragon soul as a blessing by Avatar Wan to help Aang and it dosen't actually take much adjusment for him to get used to it

Mai and Ty Lee came to Nia on the Day Of Sozin's Comet to help him takedown Fire Nation Soldiers and the three girls fought viciously and had banter and peer support.They're nicknamed 'The Riot Gyals' and Ty Lee still joins the Kyoshi Warriors while Mai takes up a blacksmithing mentorship and Nia grows up to found his own children's education and protection system called 'Nia's Kidbender Program' that was built up by him with big help from Zuko but first,we get to Book 4 aka Book Air,which is something of a playable epilogue in cartoon episodes form of that makes sense and an improved version of the comics where we see The Gaang's lives and their world post-Ozai.This includes Kataang's dating dynamic,finding Ursa again,how they further helped the world with even more activism and direct action,Toph realizing she's a transmasc girl instead of just a tomboy,Nia being the Aang to Azula's Zuko by befriending her and thus her gaining character development that leads to a redemption arc and finally dating Ty Lee and last but not least,Zunia getting together

Like Kataang,it happens in the last episode of the season and the ultimate series finale but in the opening so it's almost entierly about Aang and how far he's come and Zuko and Nia being boygirlfriend and girlboyfriend it's titled 'Air,Fire,Dragon,Love' with the last word being about Zunia,The Flight Siblings and The Peace Brothers since their love for eachother is equally strong and important cosmically.The previous episode was a cliffhanger of Zuko asking Aang for help since he knows Nia as well as he does and them doing a grand romantic display with pink,dragon and summer themes that looked ridicioulous and Nia is pleasently stunned speechless and they think he hated it until he bursts outlaughing and drags Zuko off to start their date as he yells over his shoulder to Aang that he loves him and is proud of him and then calls Zuko 'such an old lord' for the cheesy display and he sputters back that he was trying to treat him like the future Fire Lady.It's Nia's turn to blush,entire face glowing like a pink version of The Avatar State and it's Zuko's rare turn to be the cocky one but as always it dosen't last for him

Their date consists of doing both romantic Fire Nation traditions and romantic Air Nomad traditions,including Zuko gifting Nia Air Nomad earrings he made with Aang's guidance.There's zero restrainment in their pda except not kissing until they get back to the Fire Palace and lean in for their first kiss at the same time which turns into several more chaste kisses and we get a final narration that's done by the entire Gaang in bits,flashing forward to their older years and we see Aang and Katara's wedding amongst many other things and this includes Zuko and Nia having a daughter named Zara

And 'The Airbender Legacies' refers to Aang and Nia for obvious reasons but also Aang choosing to keep their culture alive by not killing Ozai and Zara herself as the first Air Nomad born in a long ass time who'd live without persecution

@nogender-onlystars @moonage-gaydream @refrigeratedboombursts @cam24fan @biandbored @sarasanddollar @insomniac-jay @floof-ghostie @9ragonmew @mayameanderings @fandomunsexyman

[tinyladofladdies]

welcome to tinyladofladdie's ! blog . . 𖦹°‧★🐚

about this page . . ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜ :

i felt compelled to make a blog centered around sharing ✞the Gospel of Jesus Christ✞ on tumblr. the internet and technology oftentimes tend to be the source of a lot of evil and secular living, but i believe that for modern-day Christians, with a sudden inability to avoid technology in most spaces, if we are going to use social media, we can add a lot to the internet space to glorify God in the way we present ourselves online.

i want my page to be a safe space to share the Gospel, share testimonies, talk about Christian issues as well as how to navigate modern topics as a Christian, ask questions, and seek help 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 ( keep in mind, i am no mental health professional nor pastor. if you are facing a serious crisis, i will pray for you and do my best to help you with biblical advice, but i would highly recommend seeking immediate sources of help if something is more troubling than any help i can provide. )

🌊☆⋆｡🪼 if you’re a Christian and want to participate in this blog by testifying of God’s goodness, sharing advice, answering questions, or just interacting, feel free to stick around! please remember to operate through God’s grace and truth and represent Christ well as you interact with this blog. 𓆉︎ ࿔*

𓇼🧉❀🐚 if you’re a non-believer and find my page interesting, or a non-believer interested in asking questions / finding information (whether for the sake of skepticism or for the sake of seeking salvation), you’re also welcome to stick around! you’re so loved here regardless <3

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧🫧 heed . . while this page may eventually contain topics that are controversial at times, i believe there is a difference between conversation and argument. all people are welcome to exercise their opinions, questions, etc., but the last thing i want is for this page to become a place of toxicity or for anyone to feel mentally drained after a conversation. arguing for the sake of insulting or bringing anyone down, asking questions in bad faith with the intent to trap, mock, etc., are not what this page is for. disagreeing in a conversation is normal and not discouraged! starting an argument for the sake of bringing toxicity to my page is not welcomed or encouraged (see below for more details on how to interact with this blog!)

🌊☆⋆｡🪼𖦹°‧★ how to interact . . ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜

｡ﾟﾉ 🪸🪼`◌ some ways that i encourage anyone to interact: come as you are, share what’s on your mind regarding the topics spotlighted on this page, ask questions, share your perspectives, seek safe space, reassurance, or advice. <3

Ꮺ °˳◌🫧`˳ how not to interact: trolling, bad faith “questions,” only entering or starting a conversation on this page for the sake of disrespecting Christianity (vs. asking a genuine question and simply disagreeing on a topic), insulting others, anything along these lines.

while i understand that the culture of today commonly uses certain phrases that many don’t think twice about, i respectfully ask that whether you are Christian or not, you do not in any way use the Lord’s Name in vain when commenting, asking, or submitting on my page. any blasphemy or disrespectful remarks about God will be removed & blocked. thank you.

◌🌊🐚Ꮚ°˳´ about me !

๋Ꮺ🗯️ you can call me scotty or little lad! the former is not my real name and the latter obviously isn’t, but both are alias’ i would like to be addressed as here on my tumblr. i commonly use little lad or something along those lines as an online username, and that phrase reminds me of scotland, which is part of my heritage and scottish gaelic is a language i am currently attempting to learn, hence where “scotty” came from.

˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚 i am a ✞follower of Christ✞, currently attending and serving a non-denominational Christian church in socal. i am an 18 year old girl and still a senior in highschool as of now (graduating soon!). some of interests of mine include: learning about history, theology, and religion as a whole, marine biology & chem, music/choir, certain video games, TV shows, and movies [franchises], the ocean & sharks !! i have many miscellaneous interests and things i eek ! over, so honestly either ask more if ya want or wait to unlock the lore as i casually show how much i love some random small thing online from time to time. i love making friends so please don’t ever feel intimidated to interact with my blog simply for friendship purposes!

˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌊🦈 if you’re ever interested in learning about my viewpoints on specific theological topics, feel free to ask in the ask box or in a comment or message! theology, Christianity, and religion as a whole is such a complex topic that i cannot list every in-and-out of what i believe regarding church history, theology, etc. however, one other label i would give myself is “Bible-believing Christian,” on all topics of all time periods, what God defines as right and wrong remains regardless of culture or personal feelings!

◌🌊🐚Ꮚ°˳´ some other resources:

what is the Gospel? ✞

my testimony ✞

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

｡ﾟ 🪸🪼 creds!

copy & paste symbols: xiaosworld & moontslight

dividers: roseraris

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Brainrot Housekeeping: A little note about Dorian

This is my heads-up that I've decided to try messing around on their platform and translating some of my headcanons into the Arcana's visual novel format.

This is not a promotional post. (hence why you won't be seeing any links, story titles, or profile handles)

It's mostly so that if anybody sees something posted by an author over there using my ideas/moniker, it's probably me and not a thief. Also, this blog is far and away my priority over that - if I start to feel overwhelmed or burnt out, that's going to be the first thing I stop doing. Not this :)

I'm putting more thoughts below the cut since the main point of this post is to be transparent about my activity to avoid misunderstandings:

I've been in conversation with plenty of people about Dorian. I've heard from people whose lives were transformed for the better because of it, I've heard from people with mixed feelings, I've heard from people whose lives were wrecked by it. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who's been on my page for a while that I'm fairly skeptical of them myself and don't always see eye-to-eye with them on how things seem to be run.

Anybody who's talked to me personally about it knows that I have boatloads more opinions, but I realized that those are based off of what I've heard much more than off of what I've experienced. So for transparency's sake, here are my reasons for trying this out:

First, the most important thing I've learned to do is to try encountering something for myself when I keep hearing and developing strong opinions about it. Sticking to this personal value is what got me out of Rai's server and influence (if you don't know and you want to know, read my pinned "to the arcana fandom" post) and ultimately what helped me get the resources I needed to help my friends get out of serious danger too. If I want to join the conversation about the clear divide between Dorian's vision for the Arcana and the fandom built around the original game, I have to try both sides out for myself.

Second, I'm a curious person and it seems like a new way to fuck around and find out (something I do constantly, though I rarely show it on here :P). I'm a creative, I love these characters, and the chance to see my own words in the original format sounds like fun.

To finish off, these are the goals and parameters I'm setting myself when it comes to however active I end up being over there. I'm putting them here again for transparency, but mainly to help me keep myself accountable:

My main goal is to try a new experience and have fun in the process. To do that, I'm going to keep my mind open without losing critical thinking and only make what I feel like making and when I feel like making it

Nothing I create is going to be motivated by a desire to be "successful". I'm already successful - I have a steady job IRL, a group of amazing friends, and this gift of a page that lets me be creative and find joy with other people around one of my many interests

Being active over there is going to be a bottom priority. If my tasks are getting to be too much, that will be the first to go because the only value I place in it at this time is experiental

If I find I can't stick to these goals, whether it be motivation, mentality, or just a loss of interest, I'll stop my activity over there and re-evaluate what I'm doing vs what I want to be doing and why

If I encounter something that's deeply concerning to me, I'll attempt to address it proactively through the proper channels available to me. If those concerns remain unaddressed and I think people need to know about it, I'll talk about it openly and honestly

I won't use my blog or server to promote any work I publish over there. Concurrently, I'll do my best to avoid any promotion off of the Dorian app

That's all from me for now about this! I'll be linking it in my pinned post so people who want to know more about me can look at it, but I won't be putting it on the arcana tag because I don't think it's relevant at this time.

Cheers!

brainrot

[distort-opia]

What is your ideal ghostbat dynamic?

Oh it's definitely the thrice-divorced snarky middle-aged men performing intricate rituals thing they currently got going on.

Batman 2022 Annual

Bruce Wayne, being a character with almost a century of history, has beein paired with so many individuals. There's a lot of relationships he's formed over time, but a particularly interesting type is the people-who-knew-him-before-Batman category. Harvey Dent, Thomas Eliot, Zatanna Zatara, Talia al Ghul... and now Minhkhoa Khan. Obviously, quite a lot of these characters ended up as unequivocal villains Batman has had to fight (Two-Face, Hush) while Zatanna remained a childhood-friend-and-almost-lover. Talia and Khoa are more complicated; they're definitely not heroes, not exactly on the same side as Bruce. But they aren't downright villains either. The waters are more muddled. In Talia's case there's the conflict between her loyalty and love for her father, duty and legacy; this opposition to Bruce's own goals was there from the start. But (to finally get to my point with this tangent) there was no such thing with Khoa, and that's basically my main draw to the ship. Bruce has other people that know him as just Bruce and not Batman, or as the in-between (all unique and complex relationships in their own right), but I can only think of Khoa as someone who was present for Batman being forged. While Talia was there when Bruce was training, she didn't share the same goal of combating crime, but Khoa did. For someone so desperately lonely as Bruce is, having someone to share that road with meant so much. Not only that, Khoa contributed to the formation of Batman by engaging him in the wild competitive streak they share, by pushing Bruce to rise to his level.

Hence... the unique kind of familiarity they have even decades later, despite the numerous betrayals along the way. That's an ideal component to me-- Bruce feeling like he can easily be himself. It's a rarity to him, since he plays so many different roles to many different people. And after Alfred's death, someone so important who knew him utterly and supported him from the start, he clearly missed it. It didn't really matter that Khoa killed dozens of people when he showed up in Gotham and literally declared he'll traumatize Bruce by killing a kid in front of him (which he probably would have done, if Harley hadn't managed to be as persuasive as she was). After Selina leaving him, Dick getting shot, his own father and Bane taking his city away, Alfred dying, losing his fortune and Joker War happening... myeah, I really feel like Khoa showed up at the perfect moment.

Which leads me to another component of their dynamic that I favor, and that's both of them being manipulative assholes and equals capable of kicking each other's asses. Why did Khoa show up with all of his resources after Joker War specifically? Why did Bruce ask him to stay so readily, forgoing the things Khoa had done? Hah. Khoa's undoubtedly been obsessed with Bruce, if keeping tabs on him and seeking out Jonathan Crane to learn fear and hell, even getting a sidekick to mirror Batman having a Robin is any indication. He gets to be close to Bruce and potentially ingratiate himself to him while fully knowing Bruce is using him, and Bruce knows it too-- but he's still allowing himself to depend on Khoa's resources and on him becoming part of Batman Incorporated and the more extended Bat-team. Khoa's always been manipulative; wonder if Bruce ever found out that in The Knight #4, Khoa was the one to tell those assassins Bruce's location, thus orchestrating a situation in which Bruce would finally accept to take him with him. But then, while they were training with Avery, Bruce was manipulative back, and you can literally see Khoa falling in love over it in The Knight #5, after Bruce distracts him with flirting and then steals the book.

At the end of the day, Khoa is a psychopath; perhaps not the sadistic kind, but he still operates as one, and Bruce can not only handle it, but he can handle it well. He's proven himself to be an equal, someone who challenges Khoa to improve and become better. Thing is, psychopaths overlap with narcissists a lot due to a basic reason. For neurotypical individuals, empathy acts as a way to see conspecifics as others, but like-minded others. You see other people think and emote like you, and you register them as human beings just like you. 'I feel what you feel, therefore we are the same.' But psychopaths work differently, in the sense that they often have excellent cognitive empathy, but a dulled affective one. They can tell how people think, but emotionally these things don't resonate with them-- the consequence being that they don't easily register others as equals, like-minded others. It's easy to then see yourself as the most valuable individual ever, as the center of the world, because you haven't truly ever shared that world. Which is why, when a psychopath meets someone they can relate to... they don't just relate, they become obsessed. Much like Khoa has. If all your life you felt you're separate from everyone else, having this kind of connection is life-changing, and you'll do whatever you need to preserve it. Including manipulative and murderous acts. But that's fine, because Bruce is attracted to this kind of thing. He himself has thought at some point about a woman (Jezebel Jet) that he should've known she was villainous and would betray him, because he had been attracted to her. I could get into Bruce's dating history and what it says about his preferences, but 'nuff said.

...Anyway, this got away from me, Anon :)) You probably didn't expect a whole-ass essay, but I hope you enjoyed reading through my personal take on them. I really like Khoa's character, since it's not often you get a morally-grey and complex psychopath like him, in comics. But to summarize my answer, my ideal Ghostbat dynamic is definitely one based on them being equals who know each other on a fundamental level, capable of handling both the good parts and the bad parts of the other; the one that solidified after decades of a push-and-pull between their core principles and ideals.

[bro3256]

You should check out Famidaily - 1041 episodes of every Nintendo Famicom cartridge release

Today marks the end of the longest running chronological YouTube series on a video game library with over 1000 releases. RndStranger has been uploading daily episodes of each Famicom release with new episodes dropping daily hence the name Famidaily (Famicom daily).

The series covers the often overlooked history and library of the Family Computer or Famicom for short. Documentation in regards to these 8-bit games on the English side of the internet tends to be in favor of the context of the NES rather than the Famicom. This has resulted in a very western biased history in regards to Nintendo's 8-bit console history and in many ways Famidaily illustrates just how different the game industry was in Japan compared to America and Europe. Not only that but a lot of Famicom releases which never saw the light of day outside of Japan are practically unknown to the rest of the world.

Each episode of Famidaily is 5 minutes on average with shorter episodes being less than 3 minutes and longer episodes being around 8 minutes or more. He then describes the content of the game, how its played, and most importantly the historical aspect and reception of the particular game in Japan. There is a surprisingly amount of influential releases, truly great games, and downright awful train wrecks that are covered in Famidaily that you almost never hear anyone else talk about which makes this such a fascinating series to watch. Considering the reputation of the NES in English speaking circles it's actually insane how little the Famicom gets brought up considering the influences those original releases left that did make their way outside of Japan.

These videos are not only fun to watch but they are an extremely useful resource when it comes to not only researching these games but also understanding the library and particular releases which makes playing and collecting them much more fun and interesting. If you popped in a lot of these releases with no context I'd imagine you would have trouble figuring out how to play and even if that isn't an issue just being able to get the proper context is truly refreshing.

Easily one of my favorite episodes hands down goes to Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti. Outside of Japan this game is well known as a hidden gem that was exclusive to the Famicom. But this episode highlights a story that I am shocked nobody else has ever brought up considering how historically important it is when it comes to the relationship with Namco and Nintendo at the time. It's notably Namco's final Famicom release for a good while after their original licensing contract expired with this game releasing just one day before said contract was set to expire. Understanding this also helps to explain why all of Namco's previous 1989 releases turned out the way they did. You truly learn something new when watching this series.

That leaves us to today on November 7, 2023 where the final episode of Famidaily was released covering the final Famicom cartridge release Takahashi Meijin no Bouken Jima IV, better known as Adventure Island IV outside of Japan.

I cannot recommend this series enough, it's absolutely worth your time even if you aren't interested in playing a lot of these games. RndStranger does plan on continuing to upload daily videos for the rest of the year and in 2024 he has plans to cover the Famicom Disk System with the series Year of FDS.

To wrap this up, I might as well mention the total runtime of Famidaily. On average it will take you 116 hours to be caught up with the final episode and that is not counting the dozens of bonus episodes that have also been released alongside the regular daily videos. So go out there and learn something new about Nintendo's original 8-bit cartridge machine and its library. You won't regret it.

[sincerely-sofie]

One thing I will say is that saying you "disagree with the term queer" Is Not A Great Look, but that could easily be a me not getting the wording as intended thing - The above assumes you mean just, queer in general though it feels more like you might've meant in reference to yourself? (Which is entirely fine - I'm of the opinion that any given label should be opt-in to anyone who's genuine about it rather than mandatory.)

Really, the main important thing I appreciate is being able to accept others where they're at. Being able to just say "Yeah, sure, ok" and go along even if I don't personally understand is honestly one of my core beliefs* too, and with minimal disrespect it's nice seeing this from a Christian. The little I actually know suggests something worth looking into, and the notion of an eternal soul is something I find fairly agreeable (if not strictly the outcomes of that.) Then again, I'm someone whose personal experience with religion can be described as a tangled web of jokes that ran too long and accidentally became character traits, so, maybe not the best judge of anything here. Also, wow, this post got away from me quickly. Originally meant to just put in the first paragraph and call it good.

*I draw a hard line the second that personal belief starts meaning harm to others. Believe what you want about yourself, but anyone saying someone else needs to change their ways (bar the very beliefs this targets, primarily meaning bigotry/racists) because of a thing YOU feel a certain way about simply can't be tolerated.

Thanks for the critique! Looking back, I definitely should have written “disagree with the term queer FOR myself” (which was actually the original wording I drafted) rather than “disagree with the term queer myself”. I was trying to cut down on my wordiness as I edited my response, but I ended up just making it a confusing sentence to read. Curse my proofreading anxiety. 

I'll try not to get into it too much here because it'd probably derail this entire response to your ask, but I've got a lot of mixed feelings with most labels, especially ones that were formerly derogatory terms. My church has worked hard to pivot from being called “Mormons” because among other (honestly more important) reasons, the term was basically used as a snide and condescending way to refer to my church, and it quickly became the default phrase for addressing us. The fact that members of my faith were basically referring to themselves with an insult as I grew up in the church never really sat well with me, even if we took pride in it. I'm super impressed by those who can take once-painful words and make them into badges of honor, but for me personally, it's a real emotional minefield. Hence, in part, why I don't agree with using the term queer for myself. It's a matter of preference and personal implications.

Agh, I really rambled on for a while there. I hope that made sense.  

For your second paragraph— it's sad to me that so many people have had such disheartening experiences with Christians. I swear, most of us are loving people. There's just an unfortunate amount of very vocal bible-bashers who forget that God's greatest instructions to us were to love Him and love others. 

If you're interested, there's a lot of resources on my church’s website if you'd like to learn more about what we believe (though there's no pressure from me to read up on it!) I just felt like I should share because we don't believe in a Hell where people burn for all eternity. 

We believe in three different “kingdoms” that everyone will be sorted into, with interaction between them being possible so families and friends can visit each other if they end up divided. The least glorious kingdom (for lack of a better term) is still an absolutely amazing place, full of light and happiness. There is a sort of Hell called Outer Darkness that I guess anyone reading about could see it as a form of eternal punishment, but people choose to go there themselves— it's a form of willing separation from God that happens when people who have an absolutely perfect knowledge of the gospel still choose to go the opposite direction. It's not somewhere you go because you drank coffee or swore in life. That'd be ridiculous.

… I opened my mouth and a missionary came out. Oops. 

Anyhoo, that last paragraph is a big deal, Anon! People need to be able to choose for themselves what they'll do in their lives— any forced change is not change at all, and the second you do harm to another person that isn't in the defense of yourself or others, you're in the wrong. As you can probably tell from my tangent above, I'm an advocate for missionary work, which could be seen as telling people they need to change their ways, but the type of missionary work I stand behind is the kind that invites people to learn more— never forces— and respects when they say no. Always honor agency is my motto. Invite, don't incite. That sort of thing. 

Thanks again for the critique! I appreciate your willingness to send it in and share your thoughts. I'll add a link to this ask in my original post so that if anyone else is confused by my wording, they'll be able to see this and get some better information. 

[hsinnii]

week 1 of studying chinese everyday in january

so ive (kinda) started over with mandarin to learn traditional characters rather than simplified, which is what i learned in the CHN101 course at my community college

this is because i’ll hopefully be studying in taiwan over the summer and that is where most of my interest is plus traditional should somewhat help with japanese as well as if i wanna learn cantonese in the future

i didnt record what i did daily so heres a summary so far

- have gotten an okay handle on zhuyin, just need practice and to learn where each character is on apples zhuyin keyboard since the site i used to learn used something else. i do like the concept more than pinyin but some of the final combinations confuse me (more on that another day)

- started reviewing my integrated chinese textbook as thats what both my old and current college use as their class resources. i bought the fluencylink (e-learning) account this time instead of the physical textbook and i looove it, its interactive, contains all the audio/video to go along and gives immediate grades on each section you complete. i did buy the physical workbook just to have in class though.

- have been taking some online classes through LTL and despite signing up/paying for group classes every class ive taken so far has just been 1 on 1 (i take them at like 3 am so i guess other people just dont sign up for those times) and have been enjoying it! online classes and tutors have made me anxious in the past and prior to this my online mandarin teachers almost never corrected my tones which i hated but these are great! i definitely feel like my pronunciation has improved but i still have to work a lot on sentence flow and tone sandhi/combinations.

- scouring the internet for taiwanese shows/movies/youtubers etc to get a feel for the accent differences and just for some listening practice (if you have recommendations lmk)

- also been going crazy looking for apps and sites that offer traditional characters as most are made for simplified/standard mandarin. i have a few that i like so far but hope to find more. i like to have a textbook to guide me through and give me structure but also various other resources to learn things that interest me or that i’ll actually talk about in daily conversation.

overall feeling pretty good and pretty excited to finally get back to studying languages and traveling.

oh and!!! i have mostly finalized what my chinese name is with the help of the teachers i’ve had so far, hence the username change as well and it is … 昕霓 ! (xīnní) i havent chosen a last name tho as im not sure if i need one atm but if anyone has ideas as to what would sound good im open to suggestions.

if anyone would want it im more than happy to post what resources ive been using, and/or what media ive been watching/liking that use traditional characters since its definitely been a little more challenging to find it all. lmk !!

[blackboar]

Anne Neville didn't buy clothes for Edward V of England's coronation. Does this mean that Richard III had the idea of usurping the throne at that time?

I either forgot or didn't know that fact. It's possible that we don't have any records of her buying this particular type of clothing, or that she might already have those clothes.

Anyway, the interesting point is: when did Richard choose to usurp, and what is Anne's role?

When you get to learn Richard not as king but as magnate, you get to see some patterns that Hicks' highlighted in many of his works. One particularly important feature is Richard's ability to temporarily (or definitely) retreat on a want only to come back after in a stronger position. That's the case with the Kingmaker's inheritance, the Richmond Honor, the De Vere inheritance, various offices, etc...

Richard can back down when met with serious resistance or when such resistance would be too costly to overcome vs some settlements. Hence when the second Edward IV died, Richard indeed had usurpation in mind but could have been forced to back down. He met such little resistance through the effect of surprise that he never backed down. In my opinion, he hesitated a bit in May but definitely made his choice in June through Hastings' execution. I think it went quicker than he expected because his foes were much more frail and divided than he thought, and because he was lucky. He received unforeseen help from Buckingham and was at the apex of his prestige after the Scottish campaign.

Anne thoroughly approved him. The White Princess is on the right on this; she probably even pushed him. We have no proof that she has shown any reluctance on her husband's actions, and every indication tends to point out that she supported him. In Anne's mind, her father's destruction and the House of York's division started when Edward IV married Elizabeth Woodville. She didn't witness her dad's secret shenanigans with France but saw on prime time Clarence's execution that was pushed by the Woodville clan. She has 0 sympathy for them at best and hates them at worst.

And she wins a lot. Queenship for her with vast resources and immense prestige. Her son becomes prince, next in line for the crown. It's the perfect vindication of her father, and she can think she succeeded at being a better Kingmaker than her father.

Anne's views mattered. She brings much-needed legitimacy to Richard on his lordship over the North. More than the lands, she bring the connection her dead father had. She is the link between the kingmaker and the king's brother on the many, many servants, retainers, vassals and friends Richard Neville had. If she wants, she can be troublesome to Richard, even more so with her queenship. She very clearly didn't, and she chose to back him fully. Even after her death, Richard could count on Neville retainers, which shows she did a good job.

[south-sea]

fooling around with this guy's design some, because i realized i can't actually call him a metal sonic

it's Complicated because in terms of character, he's meant to be an alternate of second chance metal, so in my mind he registers as the same core character. but in this AU, he's not made by eggman, much less even in the image of sonic, and at that point that's literally not even metal sonic anymore, that's just an OC. so while i don't claim this to be an ~original design~ or anything, tagging him as the character feels disingenuous, so i'm going with "metal medic" from here on out.

some expanded design notes on this guy:

"bigger ears and rounded corners": he's made in the image of shadow purely for the sake of being his caretaker/companion. the goal was to provide someone his size/general shape to help keep him comfortable. (someone in the tags of a previous post about this AU likened him to baymax and tbh that is Exactly the intended vibe. you get me.)

"no use for a turbine or even a back jet"/"padded finger tips instead of claws": originally i had in mind that he'd still have a much smaller jet or something on his back, but the more i thought about it, the less necessary that seemed. given his role is that of a caretaker, he was not designed with speed or combat in mind. at most, he's got built-in heelys just to be a little quicker than average and not make a huge racket as he's walking through the halls and such.

"made from cheaper material with crude plating": the resources available to his creators were not up to the same standard as the regular sonic universe. it's a wonder he functions at all. he's scrapped together with visible bolts, flimsy hinges, uneven plating, and his power depletes incredibly fast. they had limited options when it came to color, hence the lack of red to mimic shadow's stripes (much less the medical cross tackily slapped right there on his forehead).

(i did take some inspiration from my own shadow android design, such as the bulkier arms, but it's surprisingly difficult to design a robot made in the image of shadow, that still reads like an alternate metal sonic, without making him look exactly like a shadow android or just regular metal sonic. like, at his core he's still supposed to be "second chance metal but to the left", so looking like regular metal is still kind of intentional, it's just, his background is so completely removed from canon that it's weird to still call him a metal sonic, you know?)

in terms of personality/function:

he's considerably more Robot than even canon metal, in that he's coded to operate within a specific set of parameters and limited free will. he has his purpose and goals already predetermined, and his feelings are more or less the same. so, contrary to second chance metal, he is fully obligated to care for his shadow and knows nothing else.

his logic is more akin to gemerl's in that he takes his objectives very literally. when he finally decides it's in the best interest of shadow's health to escape the facility with him, it comes from a place of logic, though it can be argued there's also genuine care/warmth there, just like gemerl's bond with cream. his creators maybe shouldn't have coded him with such a strong sense of care for shadow if they didn't want to be betrayed. (or maybe that's exactly what they intended :) who knows)

given he's meant to be a more personable caretaker, he's considerably more expressive both in gestures and eye animations. he's more "playful" than "bubbly", and more "careful" than "patient".

he isn't incapable of causing harm in the interest of protecting shadow, and it's not like it goes against his coding to cause harm in general, but he's not very good at fighting. shadow is very much the actual protector in this case; metal tends to get underfoot more than not once they're free.

he is completely mute and has no means to communicate beyond simple nods/head shakes/thumbs up or downs. he was not coded with the capacity to learn sign language or emulate words. in general, his coding does not allow for the same depth of self-learning like canon or second chance metal.

[oftlunarialmoon]

Everything You Want to Know About “Kawaii” Culture- Kawaii Fridays

Originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on June 01, 2018

Ciao lovelies, Lunaria here! Today for Kawaii Friday I though I’d make a comprehensive post detailing all you could ever want to know about “kawaii culture”; where it came from, naming some fashions within it (I’ll do more detailed posts on each fashion later), giving some resources on good places to begin reading more/ youtubers to follow/bloggers/Instagrammers, and even telling some about my own personal experiences with kawaii culture.

Personal Experience with Kawaii Culture

As you may have noticed, myself and OFT are highly influenced by Kawaii Culture. Personally, I’ve been into kawaii culture since I was about 13 and a friend told me about Anime, Vocaloids, and the word “Kawaii.” Later I, thanks to the internet, discovered fashions like EGL, Decora, Hime Gyaru, Fairy Kei, and many others. My lifestyle and fashion style were heavily influenced by all these fashions and kawaii culture in general, and reflect these influences.

But enough about me, let’s talk about how it all started!

History of Kawaii

Etymology speaking, the word “Kawaii” is believed to have come from the word “Kawayushi,” a word dating back to the Taisho era (1912-1926) meaning loveable, shy, and small.

A big influence on what is seen as “Kawaii” dates back to the first shoji and kawaii illustrator, Yumeji Takehisa, in 1914. Takehisa merged Eastern and Western art styles in his Chiyogami (flat woodblock print patterns on paper) and used the word “kawaii” to describe them. He was one of the first to use wide, round eyes in his works. 

Another big influence on “kawaii” was shojo manga. Shojo Manga (Illustrated stories of a girlish nature), was said to begin with illustrator Katsuji Matsumoto, with the first Shojo manga girl being Kurukuru Kurumi-chan. She had big round eyes and a soft round face. (as seen in the pictures below). Kurumi-Chan was used as a source of encouragement for Japanese people during WW2.

Moving forward into more modern influences, as shojo manga developed we also saw the rise of Mahou Shojo (magical girl) genre of manga and anime. Characters like Sailor Moon brought forth the idea that kawaii could include flaws, and strong girls, but still maintained the air of childish cuteness.

What are some Fashions that are in the Kawaii Culture?

Some fashions in the Kawaii Culture include:

-EGL (Elegant Gothic Lolita). This style has evolved over the years to include Sweet, Sailor, Classic, and many other sub-styles, but it’s root was gothic Lolita fashion. Hence where it gets it’s name. For more info, see THIS post.

-Decora. A style dedicated to lots and lots of accessorizing.

-Fairy Kei. Lots of sweet pastels and childish themes.

These are pretty central to the Kawaii culture, of course there are more styles, but I’ll get into that later.

Some Good Resources for More Research:

Some Good Bloggers/YouTubers/Instagrammers:

Thanks for reading! I hope you learned a lot about Kawaii Culture today!

Remember to Stay Awesome and Love Yourself!

[sorenphelps]

marauders x atla/lok AU -- remastered.

I’ve been rewatching atla with my bf recently, which really put me in the mood to revisit this old idea. So I present you a brand new fanart of Peter, Remus, Sirius, James, Lily and Snape (from left to right) designed as atla/lok characters. Also, have an additional sketchdump with some scenarios and whatnot.

Some further unreasonably detailed ideas:

James is an earthbender/metalbender, the only son of famous metalbending acupuncturists. He is also the pro-bending team captain of the Zaofu Saber-tooth Moose Lions. His teammates are Kingsley (firebender) and Xenofilius Lovegood (water/swampbender). He has a very obvious crush on Lily, non-stop trying to impress her with little gifts and dangerous stunts. He is a clever and resourceful prankster. His metalbending master was McGonagall, who is deep down a little disappointed that James became a pro-bender instead of a detective. She watches all of his matches anyways.

Lily is a non-bender from Republic City, who is a chi-blocker and a herbalist. Her childhood friend is Snape who also shared an interest in herbs and poisonous plants. Lily started learning chi-blocking because Snape became way too invested in bloodbending. She is secretly a pro-bending fan and is very fascinated by James’ seemingly failed attempts at flirting. She is estranged with her sister as Petunia hates benders. Lily developed a friendship with Sirius over both of them sharing a complicated relationship with their siblings. She bonded with Remus over their interest in healing.

Sirius is a powerful firebender who owns a motorbike. He met James while trying to fix a stubborn loose screw and they’ve been inseparable ever since, pulling off various shenanigans. He has an unlimited number of parking and speeding tickets. Because of this, he's been sentenced multiple times by Police Chief McGonagall to perform community service in Republic City’s Power Plant generating lightning. His family originates from the richest Fire Nation colony governors, who managed to maintain their noble status and money, but also their traditionalism. They enrolled Sirius to the Fire Nation Army so he could become a high-ranking officer as expected, but he eventually deserted to find real adventures. He still wears his military uniform jacket as a memento.

Remus is a waterbender who has a strong connection to the wolf spirit of the Forgetful Valley. As a little kid he was bitten by a venomous animal possessed by a dark spirit and became very sick. He could be eventually healed by the water of the lake the wolf spirit drank from that season. Hence during full moon his waterbending abilities are charged with the wolf spirit’s energy, forming the shape of the wolf’s head during attacks. He needs to drink from the Forgetful Valley lake waters during lunar eclipses unless he becomes sick again. He works at an animal clinic as a healer. He is dating Sirius, but they are both very awkward about their undeniable feelings.

Regulus is a firebender working as a double agent for Republic City’s Police and Triads. He is involved in various triad business, gathering information and handling pro-bending bets. He is quiet and introverted as opposed to his brother Sirius whose powerful bending abilities and fearless personality gained him quite a reputation. They are not in speaking terms with each other, even though they often get in trouble together when Sirius eventually interferes with his little brother’s operations not knowing he is a double agent.

Peter is a seemingly weak earthbender from Ba Sing Se who cares more about culinary delights than anything else. However, he is deeply involved with Triad business, handling bets, spying and other illegal activities. During a turf war his hand was injured, so he wears a Dai Li rock glove to cover it. As he looks rather harmless, prefers to hide his bending abilities and leaves a general cowardly impression of himself, no one really suspects that he is in fact a spy and a smart player.

Snape is a waterbender prodigy, who also knows much about poisons. He is still obsessed with Lily, even though she has ended their friendship when he demonstrated his self-taught bloodbending abilities on her sister. He spent years researching bending forms and developed his own techniques hoping to win Lily’s trust back. As a result, he is able to bloodbend without a full moon which is his preferred style despite knowing all other sub-forms of waterbending. His talent sparked the interest of Voldemort.

Voldemort is an energy bender who, alongside his mother, was attacked by an enraged snake spirit. His mother died, however he survived due to his awakening energy bending powers, somehow sealing the snake spirit into himself thus enslaving it as his servant. In exchange, his face developed snake-like features. He could turn spirits into dark spirits and seal their power into himself. He planned to find the next Avatar (Harry) so he could rip Raava out of him, corrupt and seal the spirit into himself. He believed this would make him the most powerful being on the world, as then he would gain the bending powers of the Avatar.

Dumbledore is an airbending master and spiritual guru. He has a pet phoenix spirit. He is the grand master of the White Lotus and the unofficial guardian of the spirit portal of Republic City. His main priority is to protect earth citizens as the new Avatar will be born as one of them. However, his master plan is to reconnect Raava and Vaatu and permanently fuse both of them with the Avatar, as only this could bring true balance.

You can find more atla/lok AU content with old ideas here, here and here. Anyone who is willing to write or somehow contribute to this AU, feel free to tag me. I’m in so deep, I might even draw more.