#here have this fic from 2018 I forgot I wrote and forgot to post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cdelphiki · 2 years

Note

I've never asked anything on tumbler before, but since you're taking questions, I'll give it a go.

Will you ever do another long flick with tim and damian. I think it's a dynamic that's not explored enough. Your "Life happens" is great.

I've got a fic on the back burner I actually have a full outline for! It's Tim & Damian and its basically about them being kidnapped and held captive for a long time, I think it was a year total. They go through a lot of trauma together as they are forced to do the bidding of a villain before they're finally rescued, and while they start the fic out with a pretty strong sibling rivalry, they're super extremely close at the end.

I've posted some snippets from the story over the years, because I have had it on the backburner for literal years. I think you can find links to them all on my WIPs page on my tumblr (you have to be on desktop to see that page) I hope to write this someday. It will be novel-length. I've just got too much on my plate already.

But here's a snippet of right after Tim gets captured: (I wrote it in 2018 so it's a bit old as far as my writing goes.)

Tim wasn’t sure if he was awake.

That was not a feeling he’d ever dealt with before. Then again, he’d never been drugged out of his mind for God knows how long.

His head was kililing him, that was the first thing he noticed. The second was that he was really, really thirsty. The third, and honestly it should have been the first thing, was that he was restrained.

It was kind of funny it took him so long, because it’s not like it was very comfortable, either. His arms were a bit tingly and numb at the same time from being pinned above his head. A quick pull at his wrists allowed him to feel the metal securing him to the wall behind him.

Was it a wall? It didn’t feel flat behind his back like a wall should. At least whoever tied him up did so while he was sitting down. Because with as asleep as his arms were, he could only imagine how exhausted he’d be if he had to stand up like this.

Now that he’d assessed his physical condition, he finally opened his eyes. Slowly. Not because he was definelty dreading the assault on his headache the lights around him were sure to cause, no. Because it was a good tactical move. If there were someone in the room with him, he shouldn’t give away that he was awake before he knew his condition. That’s it.

But when he opened his eyes, all he could do was blink. Hard. He opened and shut his eyes several times, because what he was seeing made no sense.

Becuase he was seeing nothing.

Nothing at all.

Had he gone blind? He rubbed his face against his arm, trying to lift whatever blindfold they had to have on his face, but there was nothing there. Not even his cowl. Which, he should have realized that sooner. He most certainly was not in his uniform. Not at all. He was in shorts and a t-shirt, at most. Maybe even just boxers and an undershirt. He couldn’t tell without being able to see.

And again, he couldn’t see.

This was… not good. Kind of bad. Kind of very super bad.

Yep.

He was in quite the pickle.

So much for a secret identity.

Tim knocked his head backwards onto the wall behind him and winced. He forgot about the headache. And that was definetly not a wall. It was way too solid. And cold. And hard. Was it rock? He turned his head to the side so he could rub his cheek against the cold, damp surface. It was defineitly rock.

Why would he be attached to a rock?

That was just a really dumb thing to be attached to. Sure, it was probably pretty secure, but who had the time to go out and find a rock big enough? And based on how cold the ground his bare feet were touching, it was probably rock too.

And why the hell couldn’t he see? Was he really blind? Because his eyes were not adjusting, and now his vision was starting to do something really wonky on him. It was like there was movement all around him, but obviously there was nothing. Because he couldn’t see.

Ugh. Tim’s mind was trying to tell him something. He just knew there was something he should have realized by now, but his brain was not sharing the connection it had made. Stupid drugs. Stupid rock. Stupid cold wet ground.

If Tim had a free hand, he would have smacked himself on the forehead. Becuase duh. He was in a cave. An underground cave. He couldn’t see because there was no light. None at all, so his eyes couldn’t even adjust. Without a source of light, however dim, there was nothing for his eyes to see.

Stupid human eyes with their lame limitations.

The longer Tim spent awake, the more he realized how cold it really was. It was actually downright freezing. Probably not much below 50 or 55º, but still too cold for a t-shirt and shorts. And much too cold to be sitting up against a rock wall that was leeching every ounce of heat he had right out of his body.

It took some manuvering, but Tim managed to scoot his feet up to his body and shift his weight to balancing on his feet, so he was in a funky squatting position. It would be hell on his hamstrings, but at least he was almost curled into a ball. Maybe it would help him warm up a bit. If Tim thought it was cold, Damian was probably miserable.

Damian.

Shit. Fu..dge.

Damian.

Where the hell was Damian?

Holding his breath for a second, Tim listened carefully to his surroundings, and they were exactly as he thought. Completely silent. There was an almost static sound in his ear, due to the utter silence around him. All he could hear was the sounds of his own body moving around slightly, the swishing of the fabric in his clothes, and whistle of his breath through his nose. There was no one else in the room with him. Cave?

Okay. This was really bad.

35 notes · View notes

fountainpenguin · 10 months

Note

Hello! This isn't trying to pressure you or anything, I'm just genuinely curious and wanted to know about your plans for Mario content (since I know you've wanted to do that for a while). Any fun worldbuilding you'd like to share? :)

Thanks for the Ask!

Man, I wrote Mario world stuff ages ago that I completely forgot about... I had a 100 Prompts series and I think I got into the 30s before it stopped. I had tons of worldbuilding for Cackletta and Fawful specifically since they were my favorites :)

I do still keep my [current] Mario drafts around, but unfortunately I'm not sure when I'll post them... I'm never satisfied. I like the canon worldbuilding the way it is and it Does Not Translate very well into my writing style. I've tried for years, but it just... doesn't.

My Mario stuff is "okay," but it just feels very "meh" to me. I think I'll get there someday if I'm willing to work on it, but I'm not able to do that right now. I HAVE actually thought about it and I might post the occasional one-shot, but I'm not sure yet. My worldbuilding is still all over the place and it's very messy and I'm not in love with it.

---

One of my stories is called "Political Machines" and it's about how the name "Mario Kart" came to be; it's Peach POV and delves into the culture of racing Yoshis back before karts came around. I like the idea of it a lot, but it's extremely info-dumpy and I've been struggling with it for years. I think I need to write something else first, but I haven't figured out what. Here's a scene from that:

I also love how savage Peach is skdflj:

---

I also have two Bowser stories (a one-shot called "1-Down" which is Kamek POV and covers the deaths of Bowser's parents, which I LOVE but can't make it hit right) and a very loose draft for a story called Carapace Rex which is a Bowser backstory 'fic. Here's a good scene from the former:

I do miss this 'fic... I really like how extreme Bowser is despite how badly bullied he is by his abusive mom; he's vicious to her and I love that.

tbh it's actually really nice and maybe I'm overthinking it. I'd love to finish it; I just can't get the emotions right.

That said, I might take another whack at it soon and post when I'm done fiddling since I've already seen how I'll fiddle with it for years if I don't commit to a date /shrug. It's definitely one of the stories that ever was... It's just not hitting the emotions I need it to.

---

I LOVE the opening lines to Carapace Rex (not sharing for major "1-Down" spoiler reasons), but I probably won't write the latter since it's been almost 6 years since I started it back in 2018. Getting older, hoping to publish original work, and starting a new long 'fic wouldn't be a good idea (Dog's Life draft started in early 2022 and Factor in 2018; I'm just wrapping up existing projects for now, but Carapace was always super vague so I don't really want to get into it). I might turn it into a one-shot though since I really love the voice in it.

-> The concept behind Carapace was that Koopas were predators of Toads... I actually reskinned the intro for Carapace into a piece of original content I used in my advanced creative writing class in college, then reskinned it again as the backstory for my OC Courtney the snow leopard, then reskinned it again to be the original project I took to a writer's conference this year...

I'm dying to do something original with predators and prey, but I've had a lot of talks with agents and editors and professional authors and we agreed it's not the right time for this content. To make a long story short, I'd either have to strip the fantasy politics out and de-age the characters so it's "animal people middle grade" or I'd have to age up the characters and push the adult angle and I... I don't know how I feel about my public author persona being "adult furry content"...... that's not what I want; I just want wolf kids hunting in the woods for their coming of age and growing up in this post-war world of fantasy politics and ceremonies... sob. The publishing world has categories though and you have to play by the rules.

Maybe someday... but I have a weird relationship with Carapace because of that, because I'm in LOVE with the scenes from it but I'd hate to use them in Mario fanfic when I'd like to use them in original work. Tsk-tsk. Maybe someday once I've already gotten my foot in the door. I'm keeping this project on the backburner as something I might self-publish but I've talked to a lot of people and I'd rather get something published traditionally and try to build my author platform before I invest, because self-pub is... expensive.

Honestly right now Dog's Life is giving me my "we're way too young to be carrying the weight of this many interspecies politics on our shoulders" fix, so at least I have that <3

---

I also have an 8-chapter 'fic called "Out of You" which is about Kamek trying to raise the Koopalings (and Junior). I'll probably scrap most of that and rehash it as something else; I don't think there's much worth saving...? I'll have to think about it.

But here's my favorite WIP scene from it, ft. Ludwig and Peach:

Potential's good, fun is good... Just need to find the right kind of worldbuilding that satisfies me. I'd originally hoped to post Mario stuff before the movie came out in April, but I just never got around to it. Maybe someday? It just doesn't feel right, though, and I can't invest my energy in something I'm not in love with.

---

That's all I have to say right now; I don't want to say too much about my worldbuilding since it's still super messy. I have ideas about what would be "cool" or "interesting" but I just... don't love those ideas enough to make them part of "my take" on the world. There is a fine line between "Riddle's usual magical realism writing style" and "At this point it's an AU." I think I need to cull back the crazy ideas and stick closer to canon.

Is that "boring" and "uncreative"? Eh, I think that's just where my passion lies; I write fanfics because I love the media, and if I didn't love it, I wouldn't be writing fanfics. When I write, I want to continue writing the worldbuilding that I love, which means basing it closely on the media. I guess I'll always be canon compliant at heart even in a fandom where I'm okay with writing AUs, ha ha.

Maybe I'll dig up some of my really old one-shots from that 100 prompts project, clean them up a little, and post some of them. I know there were some Baby Bowser and Doopliss pieces in there. Might be a nice icebreaker.

2 notes · View notes

distinctivelibrarians · 3 years

Text

Home Ain’t a Place Anymore

(read on ao3)

Eliot wasn’t sure when he started dreading cardboard-stiff mattresses, the smell of stale cleaning products, and the tinny rumble of a busted heater more than being hit in the face.

No, wait. He knew exactly when. It was last night. In his second motel room of the trip. And there he was, in his third, and he was just about ready to break something. Preferably the aforementioned busted heater. Maybe he could kick it into working better. It worked for Hardison’s computers sometimes, why wouldn’t it work for tech likely salvaged from the seventies?

The heater kicked on—a splutter-click that grated on every single one of Eliot’s frayed nerves—just long enough to fill the room with the smell of old air and dust before it died out again. The damn thing was old enough, Eliot wouldn’t be surprised if it had some kind of life to it, and if it spent most of it being as spiteful as a hunk of plastic and metal could be.

And perhaps he was just a touch tired. And frustrated.

Because he could’ve been home by now, if he’d just been allowed to plan this trip his way. He could make the drive in a day, day and a half tops, depending on how well he could avoid anything with a siren. But apparently driving that long ‘wasn’t healthy,’ and ‘insane,’ and ‘it’s not life or death, Eliot, take a break, goddamn!’

So Hardison (and Parker, and Eliot still wasn’t sure when she started agreeing with Hardison on anything concerning driving) had planned out Eliot’s trip. And it had originally included much, much nicer hotels. Which would’ve added hours all four days and Eliot just wasn’t having it, told Hardison he’d find a place off the highway each night and not to worry about it. Not that he’d thought that that would work—and it hadn’t, Hardison had still ended up giving him a list of the possible options based on where he predicted Eliot to stop for the night—but still.

Eliot was kind of regretting it now as the fourth pair of headlights in the last ten minutes cut through the curtains to trace slowly—always slowly, why the hell were they all going five miles an hour?—across the room, a bright streak slicing through the too-dark to be grey, too-light to be black haze that blanketed the room.

What he really wasn’t sure about, and what was far more frustrating, was that he wasn’t sure when all of the annoyances, distractions, and overall...obnoxious little details started getting to him.

He’d spent time in places that made this dim little room seem like a suite at any of Hardison’s fine hotels. He’d gone through trips that had tedious droning down to an artform. This was nothing.

But here he was, unable to get comfortable on a too-old and too-hard mattress, curling and uncurling his pressure-fuzzy fingers in the starched blanket, contemplating murdering that goddamn heater, which had the dubious honor of being better than both the previous ones.

He just. He really wanted to be home.

And maybe he did know when shit started getting to him—in situations like this, anyway. Because as Hardison had pointed out when he started this whole mess, this wasn’t life or death. This was just a stretch of travelling to get him back to Portland after he’d flown down to New Orleans to celebrate a buddy’s retirement. There’d been a handful of pings to a couple old cases connected to them, and they’d figured he’d attract less attention driving than in an airport—nothing immediately dangerous, just a bit of healthy caution. Barely on their radar.

But anyway. Yeah, he knew when this started. It was when a hacker and a thief decided to let him stick around—in their apartment, in their bed, in their life. Now he had something to get back to. Something better. Something he could hold up and compare all the little discrepancies between what was waiting for him at the end of this trip and where he was now.

The bed wasn’t bad, objectively speaking. But it was missing a furnace that cuddled like an octopus and complained when none of his Doctor Who pajamas were clean, and a blanket hog that was just as likely to lay across them as not and liked to jump on the bed despite Eliot’s continued grumblings.

He’d woken up two days now to the sounds of early morning traffic and housekeeping making their rounds, not someone obnoxiously eating cereal next to him or half-coherent grumblings about it being ‘too damn early.’

(He’d woken up two days now unable to hear two people breathing, safe and sound and tucked close. And he knew, he knew they could take care of themselves. Had been doing so long before he came into the picture. And this was far from the first time they’d been separated for any stretch of time. He wasn’t so dependent, wasn’t so worried, that he needed to check on them first thing in the morning. But it...definitely helped.)

He’d broken out one of the playlists Hardison had made him yesterday around hour five, but the car had still felt too quiet without the constant background back-and-forth that inevitably cropped up between his two better parts. The last one had been about why certain articles of clothing were named after people that Eliot still didn’t know if he followed correctly.

A new playlist had shown up on his phone about hour seven, no title or anything to let him know what he was in for. But he’d put it on, and had had to laugh when it became clear that Parker and Hardison hadn’t been able to agree what would go on it. It seemed to be a nostalgic mix, if he had to guess—bouncing back and forth between Disney soundtracks, a bit of old school R&B and rock, and everything in between. He remembered the Disney marathon they’d had, a year back, when Parker told them that she’d seen The Little Mermaid and Peter Pan, and none of the others. And he remembered Hardison talking about how Nana used to love putting on her albums from Aretha Franklin and Etta James and dancing around the house with the younger kids sometimes, dragging in the older kids when it became obvious they wanted to too but were too ‘cool’ for it.

And maybe that playlist was put on repeat for awhile.

Point was.

He had somewhere to be. And that somewhere was not in this little hole of a motel.

...Hardison was going to kill him.

He was in the car—on some back highway that paralleled a main, empty road stretched out on either side, the sky still heavy and dark and star-studded—in the next half hour.

---

He’s home a good twelve hours early.

Hardison is not happy with him. Or, at least, he says he isn’t. The way he greets Eliot at the door with a warm kiss that feels like home says differently. The way he wraps an arm around Eliot’s waist and only moves to the side to let Parker near tackle the both of them with her own ‘welcome home’—an electric kiss and a bone-crushing hug that settles him, that grounds him for the first time in a week included—says differently.

“Next time, I’m driving the day.” Eliot starts, trying for frustrated and missing by a mile. Hardison laughs at him but doesn’t argue, while Parker snorts.

He doesn’t drive the day next time. But he is down to two days instead of four, so he’ll take it.

#Eliot Spencer #Alec Hardison #Parker #leverage #ff #my writing #long post #here have this fic from 2018 I forgot I wrote and forgot to post

42 notes · View notes

svtskneecaps · 4 years

Text

#hhhhhh #i should never be able to look at my old accounts #a shitty gross dumb fuckin fic i wrote in 2012 has almost 10k reads from 2k readers #even though i haven't touched the fic since 2013 and i haven't touched the site since 2014 #and it sucks and it's gross and it just about makes the worst thing i've ever posted #and i honestly count myself lucky now if i get ten people liking my posts on here #i recently posted stories on ao3 that i'm much mord proud of and even the highest hit count is 500 #and that's the one where the first half was something i wrote in 2015 #and is a fic i am expressly rewriting and have been revising since late 2018 #like what is it about my writing that the fics i'm proud of get nothing #and stuff i throw together in like ten minutes gets to a huge audience #it's bizarre and it's discouraging sometimes and anyway i'm banning myself from checking hit counts on that story anymore #bc it just sucks and yet it has the most interaction of anything i wrote #like it's the worst and people are still reading it TO THIS DAY #i checked the stats and somebody read it LAST WEEK #and it SUCKS and the summary SUCKS and the cover SUCKS and the formatting SUCKS and the plot SUCKS and the characters SUCK and YET #like i once did a PLAY BY PLAY of JUST HOW MUCH IT SUCKED and had a twenty point list of things not to do #I FORGOT ONE OF THE CENTRAL CHARACTERS EXISTED ON A REREAD #anyway we're just in sad boy hours #it's a little bit envy too bc my little sister has been talking about how many reads and votes she has on wattpad #and like i'm proud of her bc i know how good that feels #but it's been a really long time since i got that kind of overwhelming validation so it bums me out by proxy #anyway everybody wish my little sister good luck and good reviews on her writing #not kpop #shut up vic #negativity

1 note · View note

veliseraptor · 3 years

Text

got tagged for two fic writer memes yesterday! the one from @ameliarating first:

How many works do you have on AO3?

509.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

3,432,24. dang! that’s a lot of words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I have written for...counting the MCU as one fandom, on AO3 I have written for 32 fandoms, including at least one work in:

MCU, The Sillmarillion, Caliban Leandros, both DC and Marvel Comics, the book Barebacked by Kit Whitfield, Doctrine of Labyrinths, Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Wars, Black Jewels, Dragon Age, Lucifer, Dexter, Temeraire, Gentleman Bastard Sequence, Supernatural, A Song of Ice and Fire, Greek Mythology, Lymond Chronicles, Merlin BBC, Code Geass, Good Omens, Death Note, and White Collar.

this is not a comprehensive list of every fandom I’ve ever written for, because it is not including ones that live only on FFN or Livejournal.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Life In Reverse tops the list (11066), aka my 200k Loki-centric post-Thor AU fic that I wrote between 2012 and 2018 and with which I have a decidedly complex relationship at this point. I love it but also I no longer think it’s my best work but also I credit it with teaching me a fuck of a lot about writing and writing longer projects in general.

With Absolute Splendor is rapidly catching up, to my astonishment (6559), despite having been posted for less than half as long. Aka the wedding planning fic that’s really just me mucking about in my Jiang Cheng and my Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian feelings, at length.

some good mistakes (4618) was my first foray into the Untamed version of “characters who hate each other going on resentful roadtrips together, feat. Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng.” I have gone on to write others and will continue to write more.

Unraveling (3069) is a little bit of a surprise but also not - it was originally just sort of WWP stuff for my ‘what if people remembered that blunt force trauma is a really bad thing actually’ problem that pops up sometimes, re: Loki at the end of The Avengers, and then it kind of turned into a whole thing. I personally think it’s the weakest of the installments of the series it belongs to, but it is the first one and also the one that gets least into the broader family dysfunction and depression stuff that probably is less everyone’s thing (but is what came out this fic that mattered more to me, personally).

I am a little surprised to see Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains (3068) here too! I was expecting one of the more...idk, mainstream concepts from the MCU to win out? But I also wasn’t expecting two Untamed fics to make it here, either. But I am stupid proud of this fic even if it is very extraordinarily unfinished. This is one of those unfinished fics that will nag at me unless and until I finish it, at least a little, because the concept - if I do say so myself - is so goddamn good and I think I was executing it pretty well, too.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Pretty much never. I was never very good at it and now I’d feel like I had to go back and reply to all of them and I just. I can’t do that. and when I do try to just start at the beginning I get overwhelmed very fast and start avoiding it.

Basically I decided that if it’s a decision between wrestling with myself to reply to comments versus actually doing more writing I’m going to end up landing on the latter as feeling both more doable and more productive.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably it’s The Worlds Forgotten, the Words Forbidden for sheer level of “so then what was the point” of it all. but like. I’ve definitely written a few extraordinarily miserable fics, and by “a few” I kind of mean “a lot.” Other nominees I’d put down might be nor autumn falter (for currently personally making me suffer most), once there was a way to get back home (for I think having the ouchiest summary), and Waiting for the Summer Rain (which remains one of my personal favorite Supernatural fics I wrote).

but like. there are 43 fics I have marked with Major Character Death warnings and every single one of those, pretty much, has a downer ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written several though not in a long time! My craziest probably remains the Morgoth/Cthulhu short I wrote that actually got sporked because someone took it seriously (???) enough to do that. But the craziest that actually has any merit, (I’d argue) is probably the Maeglin/Viserys one.

not linking to either, if you want to go find them I don’t think it’ll be that hard.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah, a few times on a few different things. More if you count “people who seem to like the fic but love telling you how much they hate the female characters you’re writing about in it” as ‘hate’ which I would but isn’t, you know, quite as straightforward. If I had a nickel for every time someone bitched about Jane in Life in Reverse, though...lots of nickels.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Sure do! But what does ‘what kind’ mean, I don’t know how to answer that question. I feel tempted to just put in my “Mike’s Hard Kinks” image edit in this space.

I guess usually I tend to write smut that at least involves a little bit of a kink? I don’t think I’d feel comfortable writing entirely kinkless smut. I think I’d feel weird about it, the same way I do when I write really nice fic, generally.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I did back when but I don’t remember anything about it. I feel like it was one of those mass data scraping things where my fic happened to be among those caught up in it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! several actually, mostly into Russian and Chinese. every time it happens I’m immensely flattered that someone wants to put in that kind of work on something I wrote.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think I’d be very, very bad at it.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Depends on when you ask me! I could probably give you a top five but then I’d remember six that I forgot to mention five minutes later. I guess if I were to think about ships that feel like they hold very special particular places in my heart... Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen, Steve Rogers/Loki, and Min/Rand come to mind.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh god do you want the whole list cause honestly I could just like. screencap the entirety of my “in progress” folder with a crying emoji watermarked over it. and that’s not getting into the fics that are like...half formed babies in my consciousness but not anywhere on paper.

and also I just hate to admit that I might not finish something.

you know what? the Lucifer/Good Omens crossover I started would’ve been a lot of fun. I’m probably never going to finish it, but it would’ve been great if I had. I know other people did it too but my contribution could’ve been amazing.

I can say this very boldly with the near certainty that I’m not going to finish the fic so no one will be able to disagree.

(...also the Last Herald-Mage fix it. that was going to be a good fic too, and also will probably languish unfinished forever.)

What are your writing strengths?

I’m pretty sure dialogue is my strongest point. Dialogue and emotions, which is why I always end up just wanting to write about characters talking and having feelings at each other.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing action sequences throws me into conniptions every time I have to do it and I will take drastic actions sometimes to avoid doing it at all, which probably weakens the work as a whole.

Also, I don’t plan ahead and this means I write myself into corners kind of a lot. If I wasn’t writing long, dense fic it wouldn’t be a problem but here we are.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I tend to avoid it unless it’s in the context of, as in CQL/MDZS fic, leaving certain terminology untranslated. I’m pretty sure I almost never write full exchanges of dialogue in a different language than I’m using for the narration within a fic, and generally speaking my reaction to other people doing it is at least mildly negative.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was technically the first fandom I wrote for, but it was a crack fic I wrote to make my friends laugh more than anything; I tend to count Wheel of Time as my first actual fandom for which I wrote my first actual fic.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

some days the answer is “all of them” and some day the answer is “I don’t like anything I’ve written in my entire life” and I never like giving this a definitive answer. yesterday I reread efforts in a common cause (the bound copy!! thanks @spockandawe) and you know what, that was a good fic and I’m proud of it, so I’m going with that one, for this meme, today.

tagging: @mostfacinorous, @jaggedcliffs, @silvysartfulness, @mikkeneko, @kasasagi-eye, @curiosity-killed, how many people am I supposed to tag for this one anyway

#lise memes #confessions of a frustrated writer

29 notes · View notes

pencilofawesomeness · 3 years

Text

Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love.

Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about.

Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.

There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.

Fairy Dance of Death

by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath )

Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing

「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」

If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once.

It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay.

Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from.

Poisoned Dreams

by StrangeDiamond

Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come

「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」

In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling.

One Word to Change the World

by AgentMalkere

Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back

「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.

In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」

It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.

Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis

by aradian_nights

Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete

「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」

This wrecked me.

I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.

I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.

Life in Glass Houses

by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe )

Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)

「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」

I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.

Yesterday Upon the Stair

by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom )

Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete

「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.

But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.

Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」

As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view.

I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.

the Vantage Point Universe

by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop )

Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)

「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」

// description taken from first installment

Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you.

I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further.

Ghosts of the Future

by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio )

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing

「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」

// description taken from first installment

Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.

The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.

Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported.

Whirlwind

by Lynse ( @ladylynse )

Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete

「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」

I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.

All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!

30 notes · View notes

forbiddendrabbles · 2 years

Text

Our Hope

Backstory for this: was in the mood for some good old-fashioned thundercest and came across @bbshipper21‘s fic “Brownies, kisses and confessions.” (https://bbshipper21.tumblr.com/post/163974197028/brownies-kisses-and-confessions) Then I was scrolling through to see if there were more pieces farther back in their blog and came across this (https://bbshipper21.tumblr.com/post/149347920933/max-and-pheobes-14-yo-daughter-her-power-is-time) prompt. I don’t know if the people they tagged ever wrote anything, but I really wanted to try. I’ve never written for this ship, and I normally write in the first person, not the third, so this is probably a little bit awkward, but I figured I would post it anyways. I don’t know if @bbshipper21 is still active, but if they see this, I hope I did it justice.

Our Hope

Ships: Max x Allison (briefly), Max x Phoebe

Trigger Warning: Brief Suicidal thoughts/actions

Word Count: 4123

“I love relaxing with my girlfriend,” Max said as he reclined on the couch, watching the hockey game. He honestly felt a little bit guilty about not watching it at his girlfriend’s house, but parents and him did not mix well, even if it disappointed her.

“You missed the puck!” What Allison said next was missed because he happened to glance around the room and watch as fourteen-year-old Hope appeared on the stairs. Eyes widening in panic, he’s quick to speak.

“Uh- Allison, I’ll be right back. I just forgot I needed to check something in my lair.” Hope’s eyes snapped to Max at the sound of his voice, but when she heard him mention his lair, she opened up the tunnel and slid down. Max watched, even more concerned by this random girl who apparently knows her way around his house.

“Oh, do you need any help?” Allison asked, glancing at him.

“No, I should be fine. Hopefully, it won’t take too long.” He brushed off, heading toward the slide as quickly as he could without looking suspicious.

“Okay, hurry back. You don’t want to miss too much of the game,” she called after him.

When Max landed on his bed, he saw Hope looking around at everything in wonderment.

“It’s so different…” She muttered.

“Who are you?” He demanded, causing her to whirl around in shock. He quickly lifted her using telekinesis, and used power-neutralizing handcuffs to restrain her to the desk chair. He wasn’t taking the risk of her using whatever power she did upstairs to escape.

“Dad!” Hope panicked. Shit. This isn’t my dad, yet. And who is that girl upstairs? Mom and Dad said they started dating around this time… This is what I get for wanting to know how my parents got together.

“Last I checked, I don’t have any children. My girlfriend upstairs can vouch for that.”

“Girlfriend?! That is not my mom!” Maybe not the thing to be focused on Hope.

“And I’m not your dad! You’re only a couple years younger than I am!”

Hope takes a deep breath, realizing this is getting her nowhere.

“Let’s start over. Hi, my name is Hope Thunderman. I’m from the year 2033. I was born December 21, 2018. I am currently fourteen years old, and I’m your daughter.”

Before Max can respond, Allison calls down to him.

“Max?”

“Coming!” He turns to Hope, “Stay here.”

“As if I have a choice?” she responds, shaking her restrained arms to prove her point.

Well, this blows. I wonder if he’s even met mom yet…

While Hope was left to ponder on her parents’ circumstances, Max made his way back to Allison.

“What’s up?”

“Your dad went to change his shirt and said he would be back to watch the game with us, but I need you to meet my parents tomorrow.”

“Allison, I’m a rebel. Whenever I’m around adults, especially parents, I just start insulting them.”

“You don’t have a choice. My parents said if you don’t come to the opening of their business tomorrow, we can’t see each other anymore.”

“What?”

“To them, no boyfriend is good enough for their sweet, little Ally-wally. Please, don’t give them a reason to break us up.”

Max sighs in defeat. “Fine, I’ll go to their grand opening.”

“Great! I’m going to call and tell them.”

“I’m going to go downstairs to prepare, I guess. You can watch the game with my dad when he gets back.” Ignoring the fact he basically just blew off his own girlfriend in his house, he went back to his lair using the stairs, locking the door behind him. He then blocked the slide to make sure no one else could get in.

Hope watched all of this lazily, quite bored.

“Are you done?”

“Look, I do not want to explain why there is a random fourteen-year-old girl in my room.”

“I’m not a random girl; I’m your daughter!”

“Well, let’s just put that to the test, shall we?” He walks over and plucks a hair from her head before going to one of his gadgets to test the DNA.

“Ow! You couldn’t just ask me questions like a normal person?”

“People lie. Science does not.” A few moments later, he looks at the results. “Okay, you’re my daughter. Although, your DNA is a lot closer to siblings…” He brushes that off before looking at her in excitement. “Am I ruling the world in your time?!”

“What?”

“Come on, you can tell me. Am I the world’s greatest supervillain? Is your mom my dark empress? Actually, who is your mom?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call her that... and why would you be a supervillain?” Max’s world stopped. “As for who she is, I don’t know if you’ve met her yet, since you said you’re dating what’s-her-face upstairs.”

“Hey! That’s my girlfriend.”

“Not for long, based on what you told me. You told me that you and mom started dating around this time. That’s…kind of why I’m here.”

“What?”

“You and Mom are so in love… I just wanted to know how it began. But every time I ask… you guys just… avoid the question. As if it’s some big secret. So, I figured I would use my powers to get answers on my own. Plus, I get to meet my grandparents! I’ve never met any of either of your families…”

“Why not?” Max looks confused. He can’t imagine his family leaving him alone for fourteen hours, much less fourteen years.

“You guys always said that you didn’t get along with your parents… Then, Grandpa Thunderman had a heart attack, and Grandma couldn’t be in this house anymore, so she moved. When you guys found out, you bought this house, saying you guys spent a lot of time here before you had me.”

“Yeah, but what about your aunts and uncle? Why haven’t you met them?”

“You have siblings?!”

“…yes?”

“Can I meet them? Please, Dad?” Hope made the doe eyes she knew her father could never resist.

“Okay, fine! But first, you can’t call me that. At least, not around anybody. There will be way too many questions.”

“Got it. Max it is.”

“Second, you can’t tell them about the future. If anyone asks, you’re a student I was told I had to mentor to avoid failing math.”

“You’re great at math, though.”

“Just go with it.” Hope rolls her eyes but agrees. “Third, you have to tell me who your mom is.”

“You have a ‘girlfriend’.”

“I just need to know if I know her or not! Oh! Let me get you out of those cuffs.”

“Fine. Her name is Phoebe.” Max drops the keys in shock.

“What did you just say?” He whispers in shock.

“Her name is Phoebe? I don’t know her maiden name. She told me she prefers not to think about before she married you. I could never find it when I snooped, either…Dad? You okay?” Max shakes himself out of it. There’s no way… it can’t be.

“Y-Yeah. What was I—oh the cuffs.” He quickly releases his daughter.

“Thanks. So… do you know her?”

“…The only Phoebe I know is my twin.” Hope stares at him in confusion.

“That’s not…there’s no way…you wouldn’t have kept that from me…” Hope looks at her dad’s teenage self, begging him to agree with her.

“It’s not possible! Even if I wanted her,” He scoffs nervously, “which I don’t, Phoebe hates me anyways…”

“Can I meet her first, then? Just to be sure…”

“There’s nothing to be sure about. It isn’t possible! How long are you planning to be here for, anyways?”

“About that…”

“Hope…” He mutters threateningly.

“I don’t actually know how to get back…”

“What?!”

“I didn’t come here on purpose! I’ve never traveled more than a few minutes forwards or backwards. I’ve never had to make a return trip.”

“Wouldn’t returning just be another trip forwards?”

“I don’t know! I don’t want to risk it and get stuck somewhere. At least here, I know you. I could land anywhere and not know anyone.”

“Fuck. Okay. Let me call Phoebe. She’s more likely to know what to do, as much as I hate to admit it. Tell her I said that, and I’ll… ground you.”

“You’re not my dad yet,” Hope scoffs in annoyance.

“You think I’ll have forgotten this when you get back to the future? Ha! Try me. I’m great at holding grudges.”

She rolls her eyes, “Fine. Just call her so we can figure out how to get me home. In the meantime, I’m going to take a nap. Time travel is exhausting.” She trudges over to her father’s bed and lays down, falling asleep within a few minutes. Max looks at her fondly. That’s my daughter. His face turns more conflicted. She said her mom is Phoebe… I know how I feel, but there’s no way Phoebe feels that way. She’s too…pure. There’s a reason I’m dating Allison. To get over Phoebe. But if this is Phoebe’s daughter, too… Max shuts down the thought before it can even be completed. There’s no point to getting his hopes up. He picks up his phone and dials Phoebe.

“Max, I’m literally in my room. You couldn’t have come up here?” He can hear the annoyance in her voice.

“I didn’t know if you were home. And it kills me to say this, but I need your help.” He whispers, not wanting to wake Hope if she’s a light sleeper.

“Ha! That’s hilarious. Now what’s the real reason? And why are you whispering?”

“Just come down to the lair. This is something you need to see for yourself. I’ll unlock the door. But be. Quiet.” He hangs up before she can respond, knowing if she wasn’t going to come, she definitely will now, if only just to yell at him for hanging up. He quickly unlocks the door and moves to sit in the desk chair, staring at Hope pensively.

A few minutes later, Phoebe opens the door.

“Alright, I’m—”

“Shh!” Max quickly shushes her.

“Don’t shush me!”

“Phoebe!” He aggressively whispers, trying to get her to lower her volume before Hope wakes up.

“You called me here!”

“You’re going to wake her up!”

“Wake who--?” It’s too late. Hope stirs.

“…Mom?”

Max’s face fills with fear as his heart picks up speed. He can’t decide if he’s happy that it’s his twin, or if he’s dreading her reaction as he looks back and forth between Phoebe and Hope.

Phoebe looks at the girl on the bed before looking at Max. “What. Did. You. Do?”

“Phoebe…”

Hope is fully awake at this point, and her eyes are filled with tears.

“So, you did lie to me.” Max turns to her and feels like his heart is ripped out of his chest.

“Hope…”

“Save it, Dad! You both knew I would come here! Why wouldn’t you have told me?” She shouts, sobbing. “Why didn’t you trust me?” She whispers.

“Hope, please! I didn’t know!”

“But you did. Maybe you didn’t when I got here today, but you did before I left. You’ve known this whole time.”

“But—"

“What’s going on?” Phoebe looks faint.

“Phoebe… this is our daughter, Hope.”

“…Th-this is a joke, right? I’m your sister. Your twin sister.”

Max hands her the DNA report before looking at Hope. “This explains why your DNA was closer to siblings than to offspring, I guess…”

“This isn’t possible!”

“Mom…”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Don’t talk to her that way! Can’t you see how upset she is?! Clearly, she didn’t know!”

“She’s upset?! I’m upset! I just found out that, at some point in the future, I fucked my twin! She shouldn’t exist!” Phoebe’s voice rises hysterically, while Hope sobs in the background.

“Get. Out.” Max’s voice is low and threatening.

“Excuse me?!”

“Get OUT, Phoebe! It wasn’t her choice to be brought into this world, it was ours! And you just said she shouldn’t exist! She’s having a hard enough time coping without her own mother telling her that!”

“She’s right…” Hope whispers.

“Don’t you dare, Hope. This is not on you.”

“Maybe I should try to go home… If-If I get lost, then Mom will be happy, right? I won’t exist…”

“Hope!” Max fills with panic.

“Now I know why you never told me… because I shouldn’t exist at all,” she laughs sarcastically. “Don’t worry. I won’t anymore.” Before she can go anywhere, Max grabs the power neutralizing cuffs and stops her from leaving. “NO! Let me go!” She sobs, struggling against Max’s arms around her.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Hope. Just breathe…”

“She doesn’t want me…” She sobs, leaning into Max. Max glares at Phoebe from where he holds his daughter protectively on the bed.

Phoebe is filled with guilt. “I—” She reaches out towards the bed, but Max holds Hope tighter in attempt to protect her from more pain.

“Just go, Phoebe. I should have known better,” Max says disappointedly.

“We need to talk about this!”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I called you to help me send her home. Instead, you told her she shouldn’t exist. I always knew you hated me, Pheebs, but this is a new low, even for you.” Max has tears running down his face, but his crying is silent, resigned. He doesn’t want Hope to worry.

“…you think I hate you?” Phoebe has never felt smaller in her life.

“Don’t you? You just told our daughter that she shouldn’t exist. You all call me a fuck up on a daily basis. I have never belonged here. If anyone shouldn’t exist, it’s me.” Hope can hear the pain he’s trying to hide, so she turns to cuddle farther into him, unable to wrap her arms around him while cuffed.

“I love you, Daddy,” she whispers, just loud enough for him to hear. He tightens his hold on her even more in response.

“Max...”

“I have always known my feelings were wrong, Phoebe. Why do you think I’m dating Allison? Why do you think I don’t want to meet her parents? I don’t need them to tell her that I’m just using her to get over someone else. Someone I can never have. Link left, and I was happy, Phoebe. And I knew it was fucked up. You were devastated. And it just proved you would never see me that way… so when you pushed me towards Allison, I said yes. It’s what you wanted. And I’m trying so hard to accept her… but she isn’t you. She never will be. So maybe the best thing…would be for me to not exist. Then I don’t have to lose Hope… and you don’t have to deal with me.”

“Max.” Max doesn’t even hear her anymore. He turns to his daughter.

“Be strong for Daddy, Hope. You were the one thing I did right.” Using telekinesis, Max slits his wrist with a knife from his desk.

“NO!” Phoebe’s scream of terror comes too late. The blood is spilling from his wrist, and Hope is starting to fade away, flickering in and out of existence in Max’s arms. She locks eyes with Phoebe.

“You always told me I was named because I gave you hope… I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you anymore. Goodbye, Mommy,” she whispers, crying.

“No.” Phoebe whispers as she shakes her head. “No! This wasn’t supposed to happen…” She sobs, falling to her knees. “…I should have told you the truth…”

The blood is still seeping out when something in Phoebe ignites.

“And I will. I’m not losing Hope.”

She uses her freeze breath to stop the blood from coming out more and checks Max’s pulse. It’s weak, but still there. Hope stops flickering.

“Hope?” Phoebe calls out to her, their, daughter.

Slowly uncurling, Hope looks around in confusion. “…Mommy?”

“Hope!” Phoebe sobs, wrapping her arms around her. “You’re okay…” she whispers, crying.

“Daddy!” Hope shrieks, seeing the blood. “Daddy, wake up!” Despite Phoebe stopping the blood coming out, Max isn’t waking up, and his pulse is still very weak. Hope turns to Phoebe in determination. “Mom, I need you to take the cuffs off of me.”

“No! You’re my daughter. I am not losing you!”

“I can save him! But we’re running out of time. If you don’t get me out of these cuffs, I’m going to start to fade again, and you’re going to lose us both.”

Seeing the resolve in Hope’s eyes fills Phoebe’s chest with pride. She’s a hero. Phoebe quickly grabs the keys and unlocks the cuffs.

“Okay…” Hope took a deep breath. “I can do this. I’ve never done it with another person, but there’s a first time for everything.” Her nerves start to creep in, and she looks to Phoebe for strength. “I have to reverse time. And I need you to save him.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Hold my hand. We’re going back to just before he summons the knife. I need you to stop the knife from making contact with him.”

“Won’t more than one of us being there cause problems?”

“As long as we exist in the moment we travel to, we end up in those bodies. I didn’t exist in this time, so I guess that’s why I appeared as myself. If I had traveled to when I was four, I would have my current mind in my four-year-old body. So I’m going to end up back in the cuffs in his arms, and you’re going to be free. You need to stop the knife.”

“Okay.” Phoebe takes a deep breath to settle her nerves before grabbing Hope’s hand. “Let’s do this, baby girl.” Phoebe watches as the world around them turns to white. The next thing she knows, she’s watching Max say goodbye again.

“Be strong for Daddy, Hope. You were the one thing I did right.” Time slows as Max summons the knife, Phoebe watching in fear. I won’t lose you. I won’t lose Hope. As she thinks that, she throws the knife across the room just before it touches his wrist.

“I did it…” She whispers in shock.

“Phoebe…” Max whispers in shock, but also in pain.

“You did it, Mom!” Hope cheers in relief, jumping off of Max and going toward her mother. Phoebe quickly undoes the cuffs and pulls Hope to her, stroking her hair as she hugs her.

“You gave me hope,” she whispers in her ear.

She wipes her daughter’s tears before turning to her future husband, her twin. She marches over to him and slaps him.

“Don’t you ever even THINK about pulling that shit again!” She says, crying.

“Phoeb—”

“NO. It’s my turn to talk. Yes, I loved Link. And I was devastated he left. But… I loved him as a friend. I tried to want more. Because loving you was wrong. But nothing is more wrong than a world without you. And without Hope. I love you. I know our family doesn’t understand you… and I let them get in my head. I let them influence how I treated you. And I’m so sorry, Max. You are not a fuck up. You are everything I have ever wanted and never let myself have. And I am done standing in my way.”

“Wha--?” Phoebe doesn’t let him finish, pressing her lips to his. She wraps her arms around his neck, tangling her hands in his hair as she climbs on his lap and deepens the kiss. His hands wrap around her waist, pulling her flush to him.

Hope stood off to the side, heart filled with joy as she saw her parents kiss for the first time. This is why their love is so strong. It stood the test of everything in the world being against them, including themselves.

As Max and Phoebe start to get carried away, Hope clears her throat to remind them she’s in the room.

“I’m not supposed to be born for another two years, so maybe you should put off making me. At the very least, wait until I’m not in the room.” Phoebe blushes bright red, while Max chuckles.

“Definitely my daughter.”

“Our daughter,” Phoebe corrects him.

“Our daughter,” He agrees, staring at her lovingly.

“Still here,” Hope interjects.

“Right. Well, Hope, I think I know why we never told you how we got together…” Max says, smiling.

“Because we needed you to give us hope that we could,” Phoebe finishes.

Hope looks at her parents with tears in her eyes before flinging herself into their arms. “I love you guys,” she whispers.”

“We love you, too.” They hug their daughter, still in shock of the day’s events.

“Now, when are you planning on going home?” Phoebe asks.

“That’s why I called you to start with, Pheebs. She doesn’t know how to go home.”

“Wouldn’t she just travel forwards?”

“That’s what I said!” They both turn to Hope, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Okay, so I might have told a teensy tiny fib to see how you guys got together,” she mutters sheepishly.

“Hope…” Max warns.

“But hey! Now we know I will definitely exist because of it. Who said lying never solved problems?”

“Hope,” Phoebe admonishes.

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” Max said. “Without you… I wouldn’t have your mom.”

“And I wouldn’t have your dad.”

“…so can I meet your family?”

“Why haven’t you met our family?” Phoebe asks. Max looks away, now understanding.

“I guess…now that I understand your relationship…that they didn’t accept you. I won’t actually know until I go home and ask, but in my time, neither of you ever mentioned siblings. I’ve never met my grandparents… I can’t meet Grandpa anyways, but you don’t talk to Grandma.”

“…why can’t you meet dad?” Phoebe asks hesitantly.

“…he had a heart attack. Grandma moved after that, and you guys bought this house.”

“Dad’s gone?”

“…I’m sorry, Mom…”

“…no, it’s okay. I’ve still got time with him.” Hope doesn’t remind her that they don’t talk before he dies. She doesn’t want her mom to break down again.

“So, can I meet them? I know they can’t know who I am… but I want to know where I come from.”

“Sure. We can say you’re a transfer I’m showing around.”

“See, Dad? That makes so much more sense than you helping me because you’re failing math.”

“Max, you’re great at math,” Phoebe looks at him baffled.

“That’s what I said!”

At that moment, something occurs to Phoebe.

“Max… what are you going to do about Allison?”

“I guess… I’m just going to have to tell her the truth. I didn’t want to meet her parents because I didn’t see this as lasting. I knew I was still in love with someone I knew from our last town, and I tried to get over her, but I can’t. And if she doesn’t buy that, I’ll tell her I love pollution and cutting down trees.” Phoebe laughs.

“That will work great. She’ll never talk to you again.”

“Good. I’ll have more time to focus on you,” he whispers flirtingly in her ear. She pushes him away by the face before taking her daughter’s hand.

“Ready to meet your family?”

“Nervous.”

“Don’t be. We’ll be with you every step of the way. And then, you’re going to go home and find out what happened to all of them. Not for us, but for you.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Phoebe. And Max. No need to cause a fight.”

“Right. Phoebe and Max. Nice to meet you. I’m Hope.”

They went upstairs and spent the night playing games. Hope ate dinner made by her grandmother and watched her aunts and uncle use their powers to tease each other. Her grandfather made a few digs about Max being a supervillain, but otherwise seemed friendly. When it was time to leave, Hope hugged her parents tightly.

“When I get home, I’m going to give you two the biggest hug.”

“We’re looking forward to it. We’ll see you soon, Hope.”

“I love you.”

“We love you, too.”

Hope vanished, leaving the twins to process the events of the day.

“You know, Pheebs. She just said we couldn’t make her. She didn’t say we couldn’t practice.” Phoebe smacks him in the arm.

“No way. You need to earn it first.”

“Gladly.” He pressed his lips to hers happily, finally at peace with himself.

“Hey, Max?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think is going to happen to our family?”

He takes a deep breath. That’s a loaded question.

“I think… that we’ll have each other no matter what. And if this family doesn’t want us, we’ll make our own. Our daughter showed me that.”

“She really is our Hope.”

The end.

#thundercest #the thundermans #phoebe x max #forbiddendrabbles #tw: inc*st #long post #longpost #fanfic #fanfiction #Thundermans fanfiction #Trying414's fanfics #Trying414's fanfiction #Thundermans Fanfic #trying414

1 note · View note

ashenburst · 2 years

Note

Ok small question: HOW did u *predict* fyodor and nikolai's characterization so well? I've read ur fic ex nihilo and i know u wrote that wayyy before chapter 97 + 98 even came out. Before the recent bsd chapters we didnt really have a big clue on how fyodor's and nikolai's chemistry would look like together ,but they align so perfect in the same way how u wrote them?

Hello hello and thank you for the ask!

I'd like to preface this by saying I actually have no idea, and even if I once did, I forgot. However, I can try and guess! Though I honestly also mostly forgot Ex Nihilo's plot and their interactions... but I'll try!

First of all, though I doubt this is the key aspect, I've read plenty of Gogol's and Dostoyevsky's works and managed to grasp the spirit of those authors so to speak. I also adored reading about their biographies - going into as much detail as I could - and that's something I'm sure I focused on, the lives of the authors themselves! I even started watching/reading BSD because of my love for those authors (mostly Dostoyevsky who, to me, seemed like the only author who I fully clicked with) and the mystique that BSD Fyodor's character represented at the time (which was in... 2018 or 2017, back when I was a sophomore in HS). As a consequence, I feel that I've viewed those characters more like their irl counterparts and their works AND THEIR IDEOLOGIES than actual standalone characters (than actual human beings too). Meaning, while writing fanfiction, I had many sources to reference my writing from or be inspired by.

What I am unsure of, and what I may have done (because, again, I do not remember Ex Nihilo) is be vague. I love making the reader think about the story which is sometimes done by making things a bit blurred and tucking the prescription glasses elsewhere. However, I doubt that was the case here, because I somewhat remember I knew what I was doing with these two and it was not meant to be as convoluted as say Fyodor's motivations.

That brings us to the next possibility - these two are the sort of characters I find... natural to write? I have similar characters in my original book and I realize they flow when I write them. I am unsure if this is due to practice I got while writing Ex Nihilo but I do remember it felt natural there as well.

Aside from that, one thing that I can firmly state is that I got lucky.

I have stopped following BSD perhaps a year or two ago and I have no idea what's going on with them (except for the few posts I get every once in a while), but if Fedya and Kolya are as funky and as tragic as I made them in Ex Nihilo (or even more, please more), cool! Glad there's shenanigans going on, they have so much potential and I hope the manga explores them even more.

There! Is! Just! So much material! And if the author of BSD doesn't give it to us, well, guess us fanfic writers will have to manufacture it ourselves?

Once again, thank you for the ask, have a lovely day! If you see any typos or mistakes it's because it's very late here and I do not have the energy to notice them haha so, sorry for those!

#anon #ex nihilo #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #nikolai gogol bsd #ask #i am so sleepy oh lord

2 notes · View notes

moreidism · 4 years

Link

this is the first moreid fanfic i’ve written :o long story short, i properly wrote the moreid soulmate!au i once posted here :D (here’s the link and i will also post it here… because why not lol)

‘Spencer Reid believed that he has truly prepared himself for everything on his first day at the BAU- except that he wasn’t expecting to meet his soulmate who also happened to be his team member- Derek Morgan.’

(i suck at summary pls act like this is sexy enough to seduce you to read this fic)

word count: 1.8k

It’s Spencer’s first day at the BAU.

He couldn’t help but feel nervous. He had his doubts about joining the unit, fearing that he wouldn’t fit in. He knew for a fact that he’s probably the youngest agent there- he’s probably the youngest in everything throughout everything he had experienced his whole life. From his childhood until now, he had always been that one kid who stood out from everyone else because of his age and yet he still felt nervous for his first day. Knowing how clumsy and uncoordinated he was, and how he couldn’t stop himself from talking once he opened his mouth, he really wished he wouldn’t make a fool out of himself in front of his team. Spencer knew he was an extraordinary man (although he never really admitted it out loud), that’s for sure and Gideon couldn’t let him go elsewhere- but Spencer had failed the physical tests many times- way too many that Gideon had to pull some strings so he could join the BAU.

He stood in front of the FBI building as he gently rubbed the spot on his wrist, written there was “hey pretty boy, what’s your name?”. Apparently, that was what his soulmate would say to him when they met for the first time. His soulmate’s first sentence- and it was also written in the said soulmate’s writing so Spencer considered himself lucky that his soulmate had a pretty handwriting. At school though, he would get teased a lot by the older students-

“Who would call a nerd like you pretty? You’re a boy.”

“I bet his soulmate is making fun of him when they first meet, who would call him that?”

“I’m sure they have sight problems.”

Spencer shuddered at the bad memories. He used to feel sad when people told him that but logically speaking, it would be his soulmate calling him pretty- so it’s not weird at all. It’s understandable. Till this day, Spencer hoped his soulmate wouldn’t be making fun of him because if that’s really the case, then that was just… mean.

Taking a deep breath, he nervously walked into the building, trying his best not to draw any attention to himself. The bodyguard sure looked surprised when Spencer told him he didn’t need visitor card because he’s a new agent there. He went straight to the elevator but before the door could close, another man walked in-

‘Whew he’s good looking’ Spencer thought to himself but he couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the man because he looked like the typical jock who used to make fun of him back in school. He tried his best not to stare at the man beside him because first, he didn’t want to look like a creep and second, he could feel the said man looking at him. He really couldn’t afford making an eye contact. It’s too early for that. It’s too early for him to deal with someone making fun of him- it’s his first day at work, it’s still morning and he’s only in the elevator- he hadn’t even arrived to his floor yet.

He kept on ignoring the man beside him as he tightly clutched to the cup of coffee he bought earlier, bringing his focus towards the floor.

“Hey pretty boy, what’s your name?” the man asked.

Spencer’s brain stopped working- and his brain NEVER stopped working, never. Reluctantly, he turned his head slowly towards the man- they’re the same height so their eyes met once Spencer looked at him. It took him a few seconds for the reality to sink in- the handsome guy beside him was his soulmate. He just called me pretty, he said the exact things on my wrist oh my god-

“I see we’re going to the same floor so I’m assuming you’re the new guy Gideon told us about. He didn’t show us any picture but he did tell us that the he is young and you look young enough. Unfortunately, I forgot your name.”, his soulmate smiled apologetically. “Anyway, welcome to the team. I’m Derek Morgan, and you are?”

Spencer couldn’t help whatever that came out of his mouth after that. Or whatever that he impulsively did after that because despite the rational side of his brain telling him not to push the emergency stop button but he still did it anyway. Only once in a blue moon he found himself having this kind of courage and bravery and he didn’t want to hold back- not now.

“Did you know that the probability of meeting your soulmates in this kind of situation is low, around 9% which is recorded in a study done by the government in 2018 but it’s been confirmed that if you meet someone for the first time and they say the exact thing written on your skin then that person is 100% your soulmate, so there’s no reason for me to think that you’re not the one because no one would ever call me that so hi.” Spencer exhaled all of those in one breath as he looked right into the man- Derek’s eyes. “I’m Spencer Reid.”

Derek stared at him for a few seconds before giving him an astonished look.

“Well hello Spencer.” Derek grinned as he stepped closer to him. “So, I’ve finally met the one who made me have a whole paragraph written on my left chest, with a very unique handwriting not to mention- but don’t worry, I can still read it.”

Spencer’s face was flushed as Derek said that. His handwriting was a bit peculiar than the others- just another thing to be added into the list of ‘How Spencer Reid is different from anybody else’.

“Turns out he’s very pretty and a genius too, ah what is it- IQ of 187 with eidetic memory isn’t it? You can also read up to 20000 words per minute.”

“How did you-”

“Gideon told us a lot about you even before. I do remember a few things since it’s not everyday I heard things like that.“ Derek proceeded to put his arm around Spencer’s narrow shoulder, leaning closer to his ear that Spencer could practically felt Derek’s breath on his skin. Spencer squirmed under his touch but couldn’t bring himself to push Derek away. He was uncomfortable with people invading his personal space like what Derek was doing now but honestly, he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t ignore how he felt comforted by the touch and instead of feeling horrified and he intended to keep that feeling for as long as he could.

Derek didn’t seem to notice Spencer dealing with his internal thoughts as he continued to whisper right into Spencer’s right ear. "Now I don’t really want to talk about Gideon with my soulmate although I should probably thank him, but hey pretty boy, if we’re lucky and we don’t have a case for today, how about I take you out for a dinner?”

Dinner?

Spencer played with the strap of his satchel bag as he shyly nodded. “Y-yeah- I would like that. A dinner. It sounds nice.”

“It’s a date then.“ Derek beamed with delight. "By the way, when you said no one would ever call you that, what do you mean? Is it pretty?” Derek asked curiously, still having his arm on Spencer’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you could say that… No one would ever call me that, rationally speaking. For my whole life, people made fun of me for having the word pretty on my wrist because they don’t think it suits me. I look like a nerd and my fashion sense isn’t that good- probably non-existent so it’s surprising to know that one day someone will call me pretty but it’s understandable because it’s coming from my soulmate who is you and you know what, I should stop talking now. I can talk for hours if no one stops me.” Spencer stopped himself from talking and exposing more of his whole childhood trauma to Derek. People always found it annoying when he talked and rambled.

“Hey, I sincerely mean it when I said that you’re pretty- just fix your style a little bit and you could pass as a model, who knows. You’re shy too, it’s kinda cute.” Derek couldn’t help but tease the younger man beside him. “If you want to talk, I’m all ears. It’s amazing to know that you have a lot of knowledge that it’s hard for you to stop talking. I don’t mind honestly- trust me it’s not annoying.”

Spencer couldn’t help but feel very contented and lucky- his soulmate, Derek was such a nice person (and Spencer also felt like crying because he felt like everything was happening too fast) . Never once in his life he had met people who willingly wanted to listen to his rambling and think that he’s good looking enough to be called pretty.

It’s really a nice feeling to be called pretty.

"Anyways I can’t wait to learn more about you Dr. Genius” Derek ruffled his hair before pushing the button once again. “I don’t know how to stay low and not obvious around other profilers but let’s keep this a secret for now shall we? I don’t want to overwhelm you on your first day of work with the team knowing this- especially Penelope. She won’t stop bombarding you with questions if she knows.” he chuckled. “Is that okay with you? I notice you get panic easily-”

“It’s okay.” Spencer told him. “more than okay actually. I came here, fully prepared to face my first day of work but I wasn’t expecting to meet my soulmate here, so staying low is nice for now-for today. Thank you.” he smiled gratefully at Derek.

The elevator door opened.

“I can’t promise that I won’t pay extra attention to you today- you’re my soulmate after all but don’t worry. I’ll just tell the others it’s because you’re the new guy and it’s nice to have another man in the team besides Gideon and Hotch.”

“I’m fine with that.” Spencer let out a shy smile again. He never experienced being the subject of someone’s attention and he couldn’t deny that he actually liked the feeling.

“Let’s hope this day won’t be like one of those long days- we have a date tonight.” Derek bopped him on the nose before walking out, gesturing for Spencer to follow him.

'I have a date tonight’ Spencer thought as his blush deepened. He slowly walked out of the elevator, following Derek from behind.

Yeah, a date, he would definitely love that. If he had doubts before then for sure, they’re gone by now. Joining the BAU was definitely one of the best choices he had ever done in his life.

- the end

#moreid #derek morgan #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x derek morgan #iqa writes

48 notes · View notes

sleepysnk · 3 years

Note

I love your writing so much! I was wondering if you'd mind if I asked for some writing advice? only if that's cool with you?

aww thank you sm for your kind words 🥺❤! this means so much to me love. you're amazing. ofc you can have some advice! if this is kind of lengthy i apologize, but i thought i should give you the best advice from experiences 😭! so here we go:

- number one rule i always go by is NEVER overwork yourself. if you need to take a break to just relax, get some water, eat, etc. that is OKAY!! remember, your mind works best when you're hydrated and well. take breaks! i had to do this many times.

- be patient! what i mean by this is that it takes a long time to get where you want to be. i've changed my style around hundreds of times, and it took me a very long time to get where i'm at now. you may look back at certain pieces and notice how much things have changed, that's totally okay! write what you find best.

- try to have a good flow with your writing. structuring is important! good flow is great to have, it makes your writing seem more organized and fit together.

- punctuation and grammar are important too! depending on your English though. if you don't have the best english then that's okay, don't worry so much about that stuff.

- try to read different fics! i found that when i read some other peoples fics i loved the way they wrote. back in 2017/2018 i did a lot of reading, and those fics helped me get to where i'm at now. read what you find that you like, and go from there! of course don't copy exactly lmao.

- don't forget to proofread before posting, i've had a few fics where i just totally forgot to proofread and i had some spelling mistakes. always look it over and check if there are any changes that should be made!

- DETAILS!! now don't overdo it with details lol, but you should include some details in your writing. especially if you are writing fics, it's always good to give the reader a good idea where they and the other character are. it gives good imagination as well!

- have someone beta a fic! what i mean is that you let a close friend look over your work. my friends and i tend to beta each others fics to see what they have, along the way we fix small errors, or ask questions. of course this is up to you, but it helps when someone looks it over to give you an idea on what they thought of it.

- remember that some people may not be happy with things you put out. i've had a few fics that didn't do so well, but that's totally okay!! i look back on some of my other fics and cringe at how i could have done it better. some stuff may be your best and some stuff may be your worst, it takes time! remember.. PATIENCE IS KEY.

- this should be all! if you have any more questions, feel free to message me or send in another ask! i hope these help ♡.

#summer speaks #advice

11 notes · View notes

stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years

Text

I’ve owned this blog for over 2 years now. I’m sick, emotional, and got shit to say...

In my sickness I haven’t been able to do much other than lay in bed and watch youtube/start a replay of twdg, but I also decided to go back through my blog.

It kind of just hit me that I’ve had this blog for over 2 years now.

I created it back in August of 2018 when I was literally just a ghost- liking, sometimes reblogging, and sending anons but too afraid to post anything of my own. I was starting to dabble in writing for this fandom but didn’t dare post any of the small stories I was writing.

Like... once upon a time, good ol’ dingus CJ was terrified to post her writing.

Shit, terrified to post anything.

I mean, I legitimately thought that if I posted any of the short stories I was writing, I would either be mocked due to my lack of experience within the community, or ignored completely because what I was writing wasn’t good enough compared to the other fics out there.

That was more than enough to make me trash everything I wrote.

Fun Fact: The very first story I wrote for the fandom was after playing ep1 for like the 5th time, back before ep2 released. It was about Clementine wandering down to the music room the night Marlon died to see Louis playing the piano. It was from her POV and how she watched him in the doorway. She wanted to make things right with him only for Louis to have a break down and start slamming on the keys. Eventually he grabbed a chair and smashed it over the piano. It ended with Clementine sneaking away undetected back to the dorms with plans to leave with AJ in the morning.

Angsty and bitter, yes. Anything I’d write today? Nooo.

I spent days going back and forth on whether or not I should post it only to delete it because bad.

I wrote other little fluffy drabbles that I never posted for similar reasons all while remaining a ghost in community.

Then ep2 came out.

Do y’all know what my very first post was...?

Which says a lot that it took them murdering Mitch for me to finally make my own nonsense and kick start everything. Thanks Telltale.

That was also when I wrote a story that y’all probably either forgot about or never heard of [which might be for the best tbh]: [when he smiled].

Oof.

Hahaha

There’s a whole story behind that one that involves hours of “Should I post it? No, I shouldn’t- well....” Then, a blog that to this day I deeply admire made a post asking for fic recommendations and I took it as a sign.

After spending another hour doubting myself, I finally quit being a baby and messaged them. We chatted, they read my story and honestly.... that really started everything.

As of today, I have written 51 individual stories.

I also have 4,685 posts on this blog, and yes, more than half of those are tagged #twdg louis. On top of that, we’ve done over 50 different themed nights and 4 challenges. Hell, we’ve even done a contest!

I have more friends and followers than I ever imagined like... what the fuck, y’all. When did that happen? This isn’t me being stupid or anything, I’m just a little overwhelmed looking through all this shit, remembering how this all started and realizing everything we’ve done in the past two years.

Like... I was so scared to talk to anyone in August 2018 hahaha

Now I’m constantly answering asks, chatting with buddies over messaging, I fucking stream games on Twitch [rip mixer] which is something I NEVER thought I would EVER do, and while I still have a lot of anxiety when it comes to posting stories it’s not nearly as bad as it once was.

What a fucking journey...

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I mean, I want to say thanks to everyone who has stuck around, to those who participate in the themed nights, to those who send me asks, and to those who merely follow me and enjoy the content. But I don’t really know if a small “thanks” really covers it, y’know?

When shit has really hit the fan here in the real world, whether it was shit with school or work or family or the scary shit going on right now, I’ve always had this blog to come to when I needed it. I’ve taken breaks when needed, too, and days where I thought about abandoning the blog because my anxiety tells me I’m not doing a good job, or I get a handful of nasty asks, or whatever.

But I’ve always come back because this is like a safe-space. It’s not perfect, but I love it. I love you guys. I love these games. I love the community.

I don’t think a simple “thank you” is sufficient but fuck, it’s what I got. I’m here for you guys, to chat about these games and discuss their characters, to gush over Louis and Clouis and everything else. I’m hear to work on my writing skills and finish my fics, even if I’m slowest dingus ever haha.

I’m just... I’m here. I’m here for you. I love having you here and I hope that while you’re following me, you’re enjoying the content, whatever it may be.

❤️I love you, and thank you ❤️

...Also, side note- going back and reading posts from when the episodes were coming out is so nostalgic. Like, it makes me smile but want to cry haha.

Reading through those posts brought up a lot of names that I never see anymore and that’s so bittersweet, y’know? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the thriving within the community of everyone theorizing about what would happen next and gushing about Louis and being so excited to see him again.

It’s so crazy haha

I miss it, but hey, it’s a good memory. And there’s always things to gush and theorize about here, so even if the community isn’t at the peak it once was, we still have fun here.

Okay, I’m done rambling.

I’m gonna go through my ask box and answer some stuff now. I just had some nostalgia while going through everything and well.... yeah. Hahaha

#hi i'm here to ramble about the blog #read my early posts from 2018 and it got me feeling things #bringing up memories and shit #excuse me i'm emotional #hahaha #gonna answer some asks now #because i've been asleep for most of the day #now i'm wide awake with nothing but muh piglet and tfs soundtrack to lighten the night #well and y'all

23 notes · View notes

etherealino · 3 years

Text

works of 2020.

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! chose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other’s awesome works!

tagged by: @chaninfused and @missinghan thank u my loves. ♥️

tagging: @lavenderlattaes @wooyukh @vamchanstopher @unsaidhj @maaneskin @nightshade-minho @ anyone else who wants to,, i lack in friends here im so sorry SJSJSJSJSJSJ

im not sure if i’ve written a lot buuut sjsjsjs there are some fics that im rlly proud of like rlly proud even though i sometimes take 9 months to finish it bcs honestly some prompts are still from 2018. anyway,,,

1. too early but not enough // l. minho

i’m not gonna lie. im not proud w the title but it took me months to go with one. but i’ve created this one simply with the prompt “well, you’re early.” and everything just came crashing to me. it was just supposed to be a blurb, really until i lay down my bed and was like ‘shit. well.’ i’ve had the idea since may, been working on it since may and only finished the day before minho’s birthday lmao. i’m in love with reincarnated aus and yeah djshdbfjh well u see what i did there. also, i saw a lot say it reminded them of the kdramas black, goblin and hotel del luna and ngl, goblin is the only one that i’ve watched. i just seriously love this one and it is my fave so far in my works. KJFHBDFJ and this is my most hyped one,, i think,, but it received a lot of positive feedbacks aND GRRR THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

2. kisses // l. minho

yeah. another minho. i dont know how i came up with this. i just did. i forgot how !! maybe bcs my friends would leave me kisses either on the top of my head or on my cheek when we see or say bye to each other. and i just melted into puddles when i thought of minho doing it. oh there we go i remembered. but yes !! i worked on this for 9 months HAHAHHA,, i reMEMBER WAKING UP AT 3 AM TO BE ABLE TO POST THIS BCS MY WIFI WAS SHITTY AROUND THAT TIME AND THEN TUMBLR WOULDNT LET ME POST AND THEN FURAT ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED IDK WHY IM SCREAMING BUT IM JUST LAUGHING SO HARD,, this is actually my first full length fic and i kept rereading the last part bcs idk i love how i wrote this one djdhjdj

3. mixtape: on track // s. changbin

i’ve had this idea since 2018 and didnt stan skz yet. it was simply bcs of song request by lee sora ft yoongi and another filipino song that my best friend and i always clown (hi babi lmao) bcs it’s basically requesting a song bcs they’re heartbroken. anyway, i’ve almost written this for kyungsoo from exo, i used to have a side blog but idk where that went,, thankfully i was too lazy to write it and then two years later, skz releases on track and i remembered the plot i had in my head about radio thingy and it was just simply perfect for binnie bcs he wrote it. and i’m really glad i never wrote it before and that i got to write it for binnie.

4. three times you show him you love him and the one time you actually said it // b. chan

yup, i just posted that HAHAHAHA but the thing about it is the last part. idk, i saw it in ig and i loved it. so here we are. i think i should’ve named it saturn instead or something.

5. soft unplanned kisses // ot8

i wrote this in one seating and i’m proud HAHDHFHAH also, i just think that unplanned kisses are the most meaningful kisses.

that’s it. that’s my top 5 and i just wanted to say that thank you for reading my works even though i’m not proud of most of it. but still thank you. i love you! stay safe, doll. <3

#tagged

5 notes · View notes

gumnut-logic · 4 years

Text

Fanfic Asks 2

This one is for @hedwigstalons who asked for A F L Q along with @fictivekaleidoscope , @willow-salix , @coffee-and-lenna and @janetm74 who all asked for Q. You guys are so kind to me ::hugs you lots::

-o-o-o-

A. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek: TOS…I’m a Trekkie from way back. Discovered it in 1986 through books in my school library (it wasn’t on TV and hadn’t been since 1975 of which I had the vaguest of memories…and yes, I’m old :P ). I wrote my first fanfic as a teenager, by hand in a notebook. It was submitted to the local club printed fanzine (which I still have lying around here somewhere along with a stack of classic printed zines). Looking back, it had a strong concept behind it, but it was horribly written. I do not have an electronic copy, though sometime ago I thought to re-write it, but never got around to it. You can find my second ever fanfic, written when I was eighteen on FF.net – Goodbye, Spock – it was a movie tag, written in early 1991.

F. How long have you been writing fanfic?

Hmm, I think I’ve given that massive number away in the last question :D Yeah, since I was about eighteen, possibly a little earlier. ::does the math:: Okay, that number is scary. Next year it will be thirty years since my first fanfic ::headdesk:: but having said that, I didn’t really start writing until the internet arrived with my first computer and maturity gave me the ability to finish things (sometimes). I really jumped in with Stargate SG-1 fandom in 2003. From that point on I wrote continuously until I had children in 2008. Then I stopped and didn’t really start up again until July 2018 when TAG hit me like a ton of bricks. The last two years have been amazing and I have learnt so much.

Oh, and if anyone ever says writing fanfic is wasting time or will never get you anywhere, writing fanfic and participating in fandom has done wonders for introvert little me:

Led to me getting my job – writing is a skill that can get you many places

Taught me how to blog and how to manage a blog – valuable skills in or out of business

Teaches you multiple online tools – chat, publishing and other multimedia applications – you’d be surprised how many people are not comfortable using many online tools. I use my experience every day on the library floor.

Allowed an introvert to reach out and learn how to converse and gain confidence in conversation – online interactions has many advantages

Is excellent for mental health…and equally unhealthy if you’re not careful – which leads to learning about yourself and managing conflict (unfortunately…which is why I have zero tolerance for fandom wank and will not participate in or create nastiness – I’m here for fun and to hopefully make things more fun, not miserable)

I’ve learnt to type. My first novel length fic was 75,000 words long and hand written before being typed into the computer – let’s just say that that three months back in 2003 finally enabled me to break the touch type barrier :D Which is a skill that I use every day.

If some one does say you’re wasting your time, they obviously have no idea what they are talking about – ignore them. As long as you’re balancing your fic writing with life in general, things are okay (I got addicted at one point and things were not okay, so don’t do that).

In summary, apparently I’m old, been writing forever and have found it a very valuable exercise which will no doubt lead me even further into interesting places.

L. What is your favorite fic idea that you don’t think you’ll ever write?

I tend to write most things or forget them. There was that random fanfic idea I posted a few days back. It’s a cool idea, but I don’t have time at the moment. ::opens ups fic planning book::

Ideas sitting, not yet started, but might be:

Eos gets hacked by the Hood and injures two brothers before John realises it and saves her.

Episode tag to 3.21 that explores the Mechanic

Alan’s Vlog: I have a note for the next story that I haven’t yet written.

The Kermadec sequel

A fic idea I had the other day inspired by a news article – that one might actually get written at some point.

A sequel to V. T. Green (which apparently is my most popular fic) – which I had a concept for, but haven’t written down, by the looks of it. Oops.

A sequel to Bo where Virg gets buried in an avalanche – this one was started.

Eh, I have lots of ideas, most get lost in the mess that exists in my head. Sometimes I write a note down, but then I forget what the note means. I usually have to grab the inspiration when it strikes.

Q. If you could pick one fic of yours to rewrite, which would it be?

Love and Sacrifice – I wrote that fic out of order and smushed it together and it shows. It is also full of technical holes. The plotline sucks because I wanted a certain scene and forced it. But it is such an integral piece of the series that I can’t alter it much. The whole of Warm Rain was written in bits. I usually write in order and that experiment shows that I’m not great at writing out of sequence. Most of the fics work okay, but Love and Sacrifice, while having some good scenes in it, is poorly constructed.

A Little Distraction and a Little Too Much Attention suffers from self-indulgence. Virgil wasn’t supposed to get hurt – I should have stopped at A Little Distraction, but apparently, I can’t help myself and the results weren’t great.

Two fics instead of one…there are more, but I’m not supposed to publicly criticise my fics – I do enough of that in my own head :D

-o-o-o-

EDIT: @weirdburketeer reminded me of something I meant to list but forgot regarding the above reasons why writing fanfic is not a waste of time.

The friendships! My goodness, how did I miss that? I flew to Sydney to meet a good fanfic writing friend in both 2004 and 2005, another friend flew all the way from Chicago (as part of a business trip) to Australia and made a special trip to Adelaide, just to meet up with me. It was frickin’ amazing!

And this fandom....I have met some absolutely amazing people here. You guys have influenced me like you wouldn’t believe. As I have said on many occasions, this fandom is just amazing ::drags you all into a massive group hug:: And yes, I have some fantastic friendships forming here ::loves you guys to bits::

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #star trek #writing #fanfiction

20 notes · View notes