#hes naked tho right? wheres his penis?

[whatachillkill]

WHAT THE FUCK EA

[waithyuck]

PUPPY

pairing: werewolf!lee jeno x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 4k

warnings: mature content, excessive explicit language, sexy times (meaning sexual content), I used the word ‘penis’ ONCE and only ONCE, mentions of a knot, knotting (I’m sorry), slight impreg kink, cumming inside, unprotected sex, blood, aggressive behavior, other stupid cliche werewolf things that are most definitely prob in hundreds of fics, jeno does NOT like being called a puppy even tho he’s called it oNCe

a/n: the first release of the dreamie halloweenie series! I hope this one sets the tone for what’s to come 👀 sorry to anyone who hates werewolf cliches and for the extreme lack of any substance or plot lmaoooo anyway I hope y’all enjoy reading

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~10/10/2020~

~~~~

“are you cool with jeno staying the night?” your brother shot out, startling you as he spoke, not even looking at you as he spread too much peanut butter on a slice of bread nestled in his hand.

you looked up from where you were sitting at the kitchen table to face your brother, not saying anything in reply as you got lost in your thoughts.

jeno was an oddball. he was nice and he wasn’t creepy or even that weird, he just had his moments that were just well, odd. he was your brother’s friend of about six years; they met in their second year of high school and have been inseparable ever since. because of that, you have also been surrounded by jeno in all that time as well.

in the first couple years, you didn’t notice anything strange about him. he seemed like a normal and healthy young teenage boy. he was incredibly handsome, so of course your poor soul developed a small crush on him that only grew as the years progressed.

since you paid such close attention to him, you could pick out the oddities in his behavior occasionally pretty well. just from that, you’ve deducted that his sense of smell was almost god-like, like he could smell things that a normal person couldn’t.

now, you supposed that it wasn’t that weird that he had a good sniffer; there were probably tons of other people in the world with the same ability...but it wasn't just his sense of smell that had you curious.

sometimes he would act strangely at night; not often, but enough to have you questioning it. he would either disappear completely without a word or come up with a half-assed excuse to leave and then run away like a frightened animal.

it was just plain odd...and you couldn't get over it, no matter how much you tried to will yourself not to think about it.

snapping out of your stupor, you felt your heart jump at the thought of jeno coming over, even though he’s been here countless times, but you didn’t let it show and you shrugged your shoulders.

“it’s not like I have a choice in the matter,” you stated truthfully, looking down to pick at your nails. “you would have just said he was coming over anyway if I said no.”

your brother smiled at you, beaming as he placed the bread down and patted your head.

“you know me so well, y/n.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving him away. “yeah,” you retorted, slightly annoyed. “It’s not like you’re my brother, or anything.”

he didn't say anything further and you left him alone with his sandwich, getting up and making your way to your room where you could successfully hide for the rest of the night. before your cold make it far, you heard your brother yell something about jeno coming around 8, but you didn't say anything back and just minded your own business all the way upstairs to your room.

you pathetically holed yourself up in your dark room for about four hours, only coming out to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then you would go back into hiding once again.

even when you got word that there was pizza downstairs, you ignored it and continued to watch horror story narrations on youtube.

you just couldn't deal with being in the presence of your long time crush today. it took everything in your power to stop yourself from going downstairs and being potentially spotted, but you managed to pull through successfully and be a pathetic hermit in your room.

it was around 3 a.m. when you were finally finished with watching youtube videos, and you felt gross. you supposed that the two boys would be sound asleep by now, considering your brother never ever sacrificed his beauty sleep for anyone. you grabbed some clean clothes and gathered them in your arms before trudging tiredly to the bathroom, swinging open the door without a second thought, not realizing that the light was already on when you got there.

your heart almost jumped out of your chest as your eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“holy fuck!” you screeched as you took in the sight of jeno, in the middle of the bathroom completely naked, stroking his painfully hard cock right before your eyes. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the show and you accidentally discovered that there was something not right about the way it looked...

your mouth fell agape and you barely heard him gasp loudly before trying to cover himself with the closest towel.

“jesus christ, y/n!” he yelled back, both of you not even considering your sleeping brother that was just three rooms over.

your eyes stayed glued to where he was covering himself with the towel, still thinking about the oddity of his dick. it seemed to be swelling at the base, which was definitely not normal for a human penis to do.

“what the fuck is wrong with your dick?” you blurted out unapologetically, causing a blush to cover his entire face and neck. you tore your eyes from his covered crotch to look at his eyes, which were now a shocking shade of bright yellow. you jumped back, dropping your clothes on the floor as you watched him breath heavily, most likely trying to calm himself down the same as you.

“oh my god, what the actual fuck is happening?” you murmured out loud, your eyes wide and never leaving his own as he stood silently in front of you. “am i dreaming? am i fucking high?” you tried to reason out as to why you were seeing what you're seeing, but jeno didn't give you much time to think before he spoke.

“you’re not dreaming,” his voice came out low, almost like a growl, and you felt your heart freeze up. “I dunno if you’re high...but what you're seeing is as real as it gets.”

your mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping out of water, trying to formulate the words to say next. your brain literally couldn't think of anything except his abnormally large and weird dick.

“okay…” you trailed off, your hands coming up to rest over your racing heart. “so then I’ll ask again: what the fuck is up with your dick??” and then you quickly added, “and your eyes??? I'm so confused right now, jeno.”

he sighed heavily and turned around, giving you a full view of his ass before he gathered his clothes to get dressed and cover himself. you really should have looked away, but your eyes wouldn’t listen to your internal screaming no matter how hard you physically tried to stop staring.

when he pulled his shorts on he finally turned to face you once more, forgoing a shirt much to your dismay (but really, you were dying on the inside at the sight of his abs). he stared at you for a second, his eyes back to their natural deep brown color.

“...there's a lot we need to talk about.” was all he said before grabbing your wrist in his scorchingly warm hand and dragging you out of the bathroom and down to your room. you didn’t protest and you let him practically drag you all the way there, closing the door behind him and guiding you to plop down on your bed. jeno walked to the opposite side of the room, distancing himself from you as much as possible.

“um..so,” he started hesitantly, trying to form his words correctly. “I’m uh, I'm a werewolf.”

your eyes bulged out of your head in disbelief, but you didn't say anything in reply. you both stared at each other across the space of your bedroom, not uttering a single word.

at first you were ready to call him crazy; there was absolutely no way that it was true. but then you thought about his eyes, his sense of smell...and then thought about his cock...holy shit wait, was that a fucking knot??

“um, yeah, it was…” you heard him say suddenly. you jumped out of your skin at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to reply. did you say that out loud by accident?

“you did.”

okay fuck, you needed to stop thinking and pull yourself together. what were you supposed to say to that? ‘oh cool, your cock has a knot and you’re a fucking werewolf, that’s super, jeno!’

jeno went on to explain the ins and outs of being a werewolf to you over the next twenty minutes, the small pink blush on his cheeks never truly leaving as he went into detail about everything. he even corrected certain cliches that were not true, a scowl making its way to his features with each inaccuracy you brought up.

“so...my brother doesn’t know?” you questioned quietly, looking down at your lap.

“no one knows besides you and my family.” he confirmed, and you looked up again to see him lean against the wall behind his back, eyes gazing sharply at you.

you panicked slightly, thinking that holy crap, now that you know, he's gonna have to kill you so the secret doesn't get out.

“oh my god,” you whimpered out, “are you going to kill me now?”

you watched his eyes widen before he choked, coughing violently before composing himself. he straightened his posture, but still didn't make any move toward you, still keeping his distance.

“what?!” he practically shouted, startling you. “of course not! why would I do that??”

you felt your face grow hot and you looked away once again, wringing your hands together on your lap. you shrugged, murmuring quietly, “i dunno...I thought you'd kill me to keep the secret, well, you know, a secret…”

you heard him sigh exasperatedly before hearing his soft voice grace your ears from across the room.

“I don't kill people, y/n.” he sounded slightly sad, and you then felt bad about assuming something so terrible of him. “the only time I kill is when my instincts become too much to control, and I snap.” his head hung low, but he quickly added. “but I’ve never actually killed a person, even if my instincts were screaming at me to.”

you tried to wrap your mind around what his wolf instincts were like; he only briefly touched on that topic earlier, seeming like he didn't want to talk about it too much. you being yourself, of course you had to pry.

“so like, what you’re saying is,” you started, your hand cupping your chin in thought as you pondered over your thoughts. “that if you were to like, hypothetically, snap right now and go all feral, you would want to kill me?” the question came out inflected as a statement, but you nonetheless awaited his answer patiently as you took in the sight of his face going through about five different emotions in the short span of a couple seconds.

“I don’t think…” he trailed off, looking down at the floor while clenching his fists. “I don’t think killing you would be my first instinct,” he looked up at you, his eyes blazing a slight yellow again as he seemingly stared into your soul. “...if you catch my drift.”

at first you were completely confused, not sure what other instincts he could express while being feral, but then it all clicked and it had your body heating up at the thought.

“oh.” you simply retorted, your eyes glazing over at the implication of him pinning you down and taking you as he pleased. “oh, fuck. you’re fuckin’ serious?”

his eyes were dark as he drank you in, his nostrils flaring slightly as he subtly sniffed the air between the both of you. dear god, you hoped that he couldn’t smell the sudden arousal that consumed you. you watched his eyes glow into a bright yellow and you felt your instincts screaming at you to run, but you held his gaze as he let a low growl escape his mouth.

“y/n,” he said, low and strained as he tried to fight his animal instincts. “you need to leave if you don’t want this, right now.” his words were final, no room for questioning.

you briefly tried to think it over; what would actually happen if you stayed and let him have you? you could probably die, first and foremost, but you shook that thought away even though it was a very real and serious possibility. you couldn’t deny your arousal at the whole thing, being taken like a bitch in heat by a guy you’ve been thirsting over for a while now. you may not get the chance to fuck a werewolf again, so you quickly made your decision.

“I’m…” you trailed off, dragging your gaze down to his neck and collarbones where you could make out the sweat forming on his perfect skin. “I’m staying, jeno.” you spoke softly to him, watching his brow furrow in confusion before smoothing out again.

you made your way to him and he stiffened up, watching your every move like a predator as you tentatively stopped in front of his panting form. reaching a hand up, you caressed his face, your breathing shaky as you leaned in closer.

“you can have me, puppy.” you threw in the last little jab with that sudden nickname just for fun, your heart soaring at the sound of the deep growl he let out upon hearing it. you fought the smile off your face as he practically pounced on you, pushing you over to the bed and pinning your body underneath his in one swift movement.

“I’m a puppy, huh?” he questioned darkly, his glowing eyes roaming over your face before his head dipped down to nose at your throat. you whimpered softly as his teeth nibbled on your sensitive skin, earning a satisfied growl from him.

you felt your shorts stick to your core from how insanely soaked you had become, and you grew hot at the idea of him pulling them down to find that you were, in fact, pantieless. he had your wrists pinned down against the mattress, not allowing you to touch him much to your annoyance. you tried to struggle against his supernaturally strong hold, but was met with a deep snarl in response. you immediately grew pliant underneath him out of pure instinct.

he pulled back, sharp canines prominent in his mouth as he fixed you with his glowing stare, red swirling with yellow in his bright irises.

“don’t fucking move,” he spat, his voice coming out low and gutteral, causing a flood of your own arousal to escape you down below. his nostrils flared for the second time that night, and he breathed in deeply at the scent of your wet and begging cunt. “be a good girl and take what I give you.”

the statement was final, and you barely had time to nod before he was tearing your t-shirt in two, biting the skin of your shoulder. his sharper teeth did not sink deep into your flesh, but when he drug the canines across your skin, you felt them rip you open. you let out what could be considered a poorly concealed scream, but it came forth as more of a moan as you felt hot blood trickle down your arm.

your shirt was in ribbons, and he looked extremely pleased as he took in the beautiful sight of your naked breasts, no bra in his way. he watched as your chest heaved up and down in anticipation, and he released your wrist to gently trail both of his hand over your body.

“your tits are so pretty,” he murmured, diving down to take one of your nipples into his mouth. he worked your other boob with one of his hands, kneading it and flicking your sensitive nipple.

your back arched into his touch, and you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible in fear of your brother hearing you.

he suckled hard; nibbling your nipple and dragging his teeth along it, causing shivers to run up your spine and your core to clench around nothing. your shorts were without a doubt ruined at this point.

your nails scratched down his back and he continued to ravage your chest, alternating between both of your breasts and teasing your sensitive buds with no remorse. it felt like hours of play, but eventually he pulled back to roughly grip the fabric of your shorts and tear them down your legs, exposing your dripping core to his hungry eyes.

you whined as he stared at you, reaching your arms out towards his own pants, wanting to see his cock again now that you were laying there, desperate and pouting for it.

his eyes shot to your face, smirking as he watched your brow furrow and your lips purse, your hands trying to grab at him from your place on the bed.

he didn’t allow you to pull his shorts down for him; instead he hooked his own thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down slowly, exposing his cock inch by inch before it finally sprung out, slapping against his stomach proudly.

your mouth watered at the sight of him once again and you moved to try to sit up, but didn’t get very far. he grasped your non-bleeding shoulder and roughly shoved you against the mattress once again, not saying anything. the stare he gave you oozed enough dominance for you to clearly get the message that he was trying to send.

jeno didn’t waste any time spreading your thighs open, two of his fingers immediately swiping through your embarrassingly wet slit before easing inside your tight hole. the stretch burned at first, considering he was starting you off with two fingers instead of one, but you welcomed the slight pain that mixed with the pleasure of him reaching up with his thumb to graze over your throbbing clit.

jeno thrusted his fingers into you gently at first, gradually picking up the pace as he went along. before you knew it he was adding a third finger, stretching your more than you’ve been stretched before.

you gasped at the feeling, your back arching off the bed as you cried out while he started finger fucking you with earnest.

“shhh, baby,” he said quietly, his movements never ceasing. “just gotta open you up for me, make sure you can take my knot.”

you held back another moan at that, thinking of how his cock would stretch you open, and how full you would feel with his knot nestled inside you.

he abruptly pulled his fingers from you, causing your back to arch again as you protested the loss of stimulation. his strength amazed you, and with one hand on your belly he pinned you down completely, sucking on the fingers of his other lewdly while stating you in the eyes.

after licking his fingers clean, (which caused heat to crawl it’s way down your belly), he kissed you sloppily on the mouth once again before gripping your waist and roughly flipping you over onto your knees.

your chest was flush against the mattress as well as your face, and your hips were lifted high in the air and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as he positioned himself behind you.

his nails drug down your sides and he gripped one of your hips with his hand, using his other to position himself at your leaking entrance. you wiggled your hips in anticipation, whining as he drug the head through your folds before slowly sinking inside you.

your fingers gripped the pillows as he bottomed out, his knot already slowly forming at the base of his shaft. it stretched you ever so slightly at the entrance of your core, and you whimpered out in pleasure as he started thrusting in and out.

the small form of his knot caught on your entrance with each precise thrust, and you were finding it very difficult to stay quiet. jeno’s breaths were heavy and every so often he would let out a soft growl as he felt his tip pound gently into your cervix.

your small whimpers were short and staggered, escaping your mouth with each thrust, which spurred him on to create a faster and harsher pace. he leaned over your back and didn’t relent as his cock punished you pussy, and when you let out a cry that was just a little bit too loud, he shoved your face right into your pillow to silence you.

“shut up,” he panted, a rumble low in his chest following his words. “just fucking take it.”

you nodded your head in response to the best of your ability, biting your lip to keep quiet as the presence of his hand left the back of your head.

he seemed to be getting close now, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge as well. it was uncommon for you to cum without any clitoral stimulation, and you were amazed at his ability to reach all of the most pleasurable spots inside you.

you felt your stomach tightening up and you gasped sharply when you felt his cock press right against your sweet spot, making you reach your high almost instantly.

you clamped around him, barely registering that he buried himself completely inside you and was now stretching you to the max with his fully developed knot. the pain of the stretch only intensified your orgasm, which had you screaming into your pillow to muffle your cries of ecstasy.

jeno growled loudly as he came shortly after, biting the back of your neck aggressively and painting your walls with his cum, emptying completely inside of you while his knot kept a single drop from escaping.

he withdrew his teeth from you, surprised that it didn’t break your skin, and gently moved the two of you to lay on your sides as you basked in the afterglow of what just occurred.

your chest heaved as you fought to catch you breath, you pussy still stretched to its limit as you laid with him. you reached an arm around to caress his face, a small show of affection as you smiled in bliss.

after catching your breath, you sat in silence for a bit, just bathing in each other’s warmth, before you had to go and open your big mouth again.

“so your knot is supposed to like, plug me up?” you questioned, your voice still sounding slightly out of breath as you panted. “to make sure I get like, hypothetically, pregnant or whatever?”

he groaned in response and gripped your hips tightly, his hips bucking and causing his still painfully hard cock to sharply jab against your sensitive insides, making you yelp.

“dear god, y/n,” he whined, his nails digging into your skin. “don’t say things like that, fuck.”

“oh, so you like that idea?” you teased, turning your head to try to look at him to the best of your ability considering your current position. “fucking me full of babies?”

his eyes stared down at you intensely, the color of his irises brightening up as he growled lowly at you. he suddenly gripped your hips and turned you both over, his body completely laying on your own as you were pressed against the mattress on your stomach.

“keep talking, y/n,” he growled out lowly, his hips pressing tightly against your ass, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. “I’ll fuck you again right now, and give you my fucking babies.”

he couldn’t see you, but you smiled contently, preparing yourself for another intense round with this beast of a man. there was a small chance that you would actually get pregnant, considering the IUD you had…but the thought of it had you ready to go at it again.

in some fucked up way, you were content with this, and you threw your hips up to grind back against him, grinning even wider as he pinned your body down even harder.

jeno fucked you like an animal until the sun came up, and your brother was none the wiser.

[cosplayproblemsposts]

Polkadot Man x M! reader Pt 2

Warning-Vent and a little bit of fluffy.

Summary: you manged to find out the truth but it didn’t help the fact you were still clinging onto something that has been proven true. Abner couldn’t help but comfort you even if you keep on rejecting every advantage. The thinker couldn’t help but feel a sense of justice but also a hint of guilt.

You sat within the bus eating girl scout cookies that you bought against Rick’s thoughts pressured on the cookies. “I can’t believe you actual bought girl scout cookies” Rick pondered on your childish behavior. “Your just jealous for your not stuffing your face” Rick rolls his eyes but smiles and gives you a fist bump. 

Cleo grins for Rick stomach growls “And when was the last time you ate Rickie” you tease. Rick huffs and takes the offered cookies and says “Shut up” you hum. More boxes of girl scouts cookies are handed out to everyone expect Nanaue for he doesn’t eat such foods.

“I like strawberry” Abner mumbles to which cause you to trade over your strawberry for his chocolate ones. You gave him a sly wink to which cause him to hide his face with the help of the box. 

“Hey why are you afraid of rats?”  Cleo asks Robert while you moved and took a sit beside Abner. “Why are you so in love with them ratcatcher 2?, you know what I think?, I think you have serious case of daddy issues” you frowned at Robert. Robert isn’t exactly known as a expressive type and everyone can see it regardless how cold heart he is you know otherwise.  

 “I have no issues with how much I loved my father” Robert sighs “You remind me of my daughter that’s why I’m here”. You couldn’t help but smile while biting into a cookie. “Why are you afraid of rats?” Cleo once again asks the same question. “My old man. when I was a lad, if I didn’t finish a task right, he would dole out a punishment. And one day, he just locked me in a create for twenty-four hours. And it was full of starving rats”.

You sighed and whistled to gain Roberts attention and threw three cookies at him, he caught all three of them. “As imperfect my father was ,he loved me. I wish I could give that to you”. ‘Don’t worry yeah?, I’m gonna get you out of here alive” Cleo smiles “I’m going to get you alive out of here”.

“What about clock” you hummed “Your oddly quiet” Robert pips up “Oh yes whats your story”. Cleo smiles up at you while Abner turns his attention to how close you were. “I don’t want to bore anyone to death” Rick scoffs “Shut up and tell us, I’m all eyes and ears” you frown at him. 

“Uh...where do I start, I was born in may the 18th 1918″ you thought of how you lost your mother. “My mother died after bring me into the world. I was small but strong while my father walked out of my mothers life the moment he found out she was pregnant”. Cleo frowns “So my granddad took me in so all I knew was that I had to live through a time era where if you were caught crying even a little your shamed for it”. Abner places a shy but comforting hand on top of yours “I was different I knew that but different made me strong and I reached for knowledge”.

“I found it easier to keep to myself until Benjamin came along in shape of defending me” you chuckled a little. “He is my childhood friend who glued himself to me from the very beginning, you see we both grew up in the back houses” Cleo frowns out of confusing. “That is what we called them, it’s just houses that were mistaken for apartments” Cleo nods. “I remembered getting into fights with older boys and I was an idiot for believing that I’ll win but I never did” Chris now understand why you protect Abner. 

“But I ain’t no coward for I didn’t run away from a fight other then that the old crow wouldn’t let it go” Robert chuckles or something like that. “I would come home all scruffy every two weeks to the crows dismay” Rick nods. “Years past and I was top of my class even tho I caused trouble and had been caned for it” Abner winces at the thought of it. “I enrolled into university but halfway through my second semester I dropped out to join the air force in 1939 August the 18th” you had to take breath. “I had trained enough to find myself within the sky in the midst of 1942 defending my country” you found yourself growing a pit in your stomach and you felt like vomiting.

“I was battling above a filed like nothing had gone wrong in the first place, the very Nazi manged to slash me out of sky” Robert doesn’t know anything about the air force but can see it. “I found myself hurrying to my death until an enemy pilot collided with me but I didn’t meet death instead I found myself two days before the whole entire event”. “Other then that when the fall of Poland had happened I had to be the last to know” You squint at the box of chocolate cookies before you.

“Around the time Benjamin had been set off to Poland and hadn’t returned so when I had been shipped off to Poland, I searched for him” Robert clears his throat. “I think that’s enough” Robert could tell that you didn’t want to go any farther with your side of the story. Abner squeezes your hand and when you notice you move your hand from his to which caused him to shutter away.

“Hey penis-maker, we’re on a mission” Chris makes a face “Easy inspector gadget. A little drink never hurts nobody”. You frowned at the idea but you really need a pick me up so you gone with the flow. “Expect the thousands of people killed in drunk driving accidents every year” Abner commented. You stare at him and could tell he was still a little hurt from you moving away from him.    

“Here’s to last three hours of being alive” Robert didn’t agree “I’ll be alive. You speak for yourself”. You drank your drink like a shot and didn’t hesitate to ask for another. You find yourself laughing and watch as Abner gag on his drink to which cause you to pat his back. “Easy there dots, you want to be somewhat sober” Abner nods.   

Everyone found themselves dancing with the music blazing in the background. You watch them fail at one of the most simplest thing in the world and you couldn’t help but laugh. “C’mon Y/N join us” Abner spoke while holding out a hand. “No you guys got it handle, I’ll just get in the way” you weren’t an upbeat dancer your more of slow dance type of guy. “No your not, you need this too” You smiled but caved in “Fine”. You took a last swig of your drink before standing up to dance with him.

You held onto Abner’s waist from behind and dance with him, for the truth you weren’t that bad. Abner sways his hips in synced with yours and you couldn’t help but evolve your arms around him. Swaying with your face just a few inches off from his right shoulder. You held his hand and kept on swaying while the both of you smile and laugh. You tugged him back to which cause him to look down at you, you grin and “Damn you are one dish”. Abner frowns out of confusion but by your grin it must be a good thing.

Abner turns around and stares down at you and without warning he captures your lips with his. You stood thunderstruck but kiss back after a few seconds, it never accrued to you how soft his lips were. How gentle and shy he can be, how easy a red tent grows across his cheeks. He had to be the most sweetest thing you ever had met. Far too sweet, Abner had to be the number one candy in the world. 

The two of you pull away with a small smiles on each other faces. You hum and kept on swaying to the music until Cleo poke Abner side. “Sorry for breaking you two up but you gonna have to focus for his here” you look and saw The thinker himself. You nod before parting from Abner to keep an eye on the weirdo over at the bar with Robert pressing a gun to his side.

But now here your with this odd looking man making a way to the back door with him mouthy off. “If you think that big mouth of yours is gonna save you sadly think again” he hums at your words. “Your the 1940′s guy right” you grow surprised “Pardon” he just smiles. You push through to the back only to see half-naked women “Sorry Loves we just want to get by” they screamed of course. 

A solider turns to us but Cleo makes a rat shove it’s way into his mouth to which cause you to frown. “Ah geez now you don’t see that everyday” you watch the man squirm while the others moved on. “Now that is nasty” the man reach a hand out to you but you declined his odd muffles for help. “Sorry mate it’s more like a you problem” he still lays there until he just stop moving. You made a face “Oh my goodness that’s fucking gross” you watch the rat scurry off somewhere else. You flinch when the rat doubled back and ran pass your right shoe “Ugh, fuck no” you shiver “Y/N!” you hear Milton call out.

“That was a gross way to die” Cleo only sighs “I’m sorry if that creep you out”. “No I didn’t mean it in that way for it was unexpected” Cleo looks up at you and smiles. You can tell she is still jumping “Welp weirdo how does it feel to be here” the man only grins. “Benjamin called out to you but you never came” you glare at him and kicked him. “Y/N” Abner spoke softly “Don’t his just lying” you frown and said “Yeah, his just lying”.

“Look Abner about before I..” you were cut off “don’t worry about it  we all have our ups and downs”. “For I killed my mom” you frown and by his very life you can tell he had done it for the greater good. “I know Abner and I’m truly sorry” Abner smiles and lays his head on your right shoulder. “Num Num” Nanaue says so you groaned “No, he isn’t Num Num’s” Nanaue seems disappointed.

Abner cuddles into your right side “Hey Abner” he hums “What are you gonna do once your free”. For the truth Abner doesn’t know himself “I don’t know” you smile. “You can see the rest of England with me then” Abner smiles and says “I’ll like that. Cleo came and said “Hey can I join” you smile and move over for her to join. She took your left while Abner has your right, Weirdo looks at you three before he started pondering over his own life.

“Okay so operation Harley” Rick says to each of us while we all nod.

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I know I said two-parts but I’m gonna stop here for now.

[xxhispieceofheavenxx]

Actual kinks and fetishes the demon brothers have

Asmodeus

This is the fifth part of the series with Asmo! Even tho he is the demon of lust I think he was one of the most difficult to think about his kinks, simply because I think Asmo is ready to try anything and everything. I have put these together based off canon information we have and my own headcanons. This might be triggering to some people so proceed with caution!

This is a series and this is the fifth part, the other brothers are on their way! Check the series masterlist!

NSFW under the cut 

Masterlist

Agoraphilia: fetish dedicated to sex in public places.

More than a kink it just something he just happens to do a lot of the time, he loves showing off how pretty he is and how handsome he looks while doing all those nasty things.

Anonymous sex: a kink revolving around anonymous sexual encounters where one or both parties is unaware of the other’s identity. Glory holes are a common form of anonymous sex, but they are not the only form.

Sex with strangers is not something rare in his life. Asmo is a party animal, its canon that he spends almost every night out partying, and after a few drinks he gets people to play with him. The more people the better for him.

Begging: kink for begging and pleading (to have sex, for release/orgasm, to perform an act, etc.). Begging is submissive in nature.

Asmo loves being needed and wanted, he knows how beautiful and pretty he is, but he likes seeing other people craving him and what he does to them. Likes being wanted in both a sexual and romantic way, since that’s how he feels about MC, but it's a turn on for him regardless. He is also a pleaser, so it goes well with that.

Chastity: a fetish where someone’s access to their genitals is blocked. Women wear chastity belts, and men wear cock cages that prevent erection and release. Also known as forced abstinence or forced celibacy. Chastity can be used as a form of self-denial or orgasm control.

He has kept pets before and this is one of the many ways he likes asserting his dominance. Asmo likes being the only demon in his pets life, and it's like a comfort blanket to keep them locked, so he knows exactly what goes on with them.

Cock worship: similar to breast worship. This fetish involves verbal, physical and mental adoration of a penis – including fake ones (strap-ons).

He enjoys both worshiping and been worshiped, as I said he is a people pleaser but also enjoys being praised and worshiped, after all he is one of the prettiest demons to ever exist, and he knows it.

Corsetry: the act of wearing a corset, sometimes to the extent of changing the shape and size of one’s body. Tight-lacing a corset enables one to successfully waist-train.  Some dominants may use tight-lacing to limit breathing. It’s not just limited to your abs and tummy either.

I mentioned on this post that Asmo wears a but-plug as part of his lingerie, but he goes all out, corsets, lace panties, stockings… everything, he has many matching outfits in various colors, his favorite set is a maroon with gold accents throughout.

Exhibitionism: fetish for being naked and performing sexually in front of a person or persons. Masturbating for a partner is a mild form of this kink. Sex in public is partly exhibitionism. Related to agrexophilia, which is arousal when other people know about your sexual activities, and autagonistophilia, exposing oneself while on stage and being photographed. The counterpart of voyeurism.

As I said public sex is one of Asmo’s most prominent kinks, he just doesn’t like waiting and if he shows himself to other people that’s good right? Because he is so pretty he must show his beauty and share it with the world.

Face sitting: the act of a woman sitting on a man’s face while he performs oral. Face sitting can include mild suffocation but doesn’t have to. It’s incredibly dominant.

Asmo lives for showing himself off, and that also mean showing off his skills, face sitting makes him feel powerful, as well as beautiful and wanted, his needy partners grinding on his pretty face coming undone on his soft lips. He thrives off the attention.

Fellatio: Not usually deemed a fetish or kink, but it can be for some.

He likes both giving and receiving equally, the same reason as before, being wanted and showing his skills. Also, who doesn’t like being taken care of in that way?

Frotting: rubbing of two penises together. One man may hold the penises together during this act. Similar activities include frottage (rubbing while clothed for sexual stimulation) and frotteurism (rubbing or fondling an unsuspecting/non-consenting person).

He likes that he can see both himself and his partner while doing this, both the feeling and his dick in their hand, slick with his pre-cum… Such a sight deserves to be admired, and he would be missing it if he was inside his partner.

Group sex (Polyiterophilia): group sex and multiple party scenarios. Threesomes are one of the more common arrangements (and a fascination with three-person sex is known as triolism/troilism).

It’s canon that Asmo both parties a lot and that he spends a lot of that party time indulging in his desires, so it’s obvious that he enjoys group sex and orgies.

Hypnotism: in an erotic situation, hypnosis could be a form of consensual non-consent. Try out this kink with some sexy magician/assistant role-play.

It’s part of his powers, he was truly bummed out when he couldn’t use them on MC at the very beginning, their first meeting, so I know he is not a stranger when it comes to using it to get what he wants, when he wants, with whomever he wants.

Katoptronophilia: a fetish for having sex in front of mirrors. Some people are simply turned on by seeing themselves in a mirror.

Asmo loves looking at himself, to him there is not one person or demon prettier than him, so why wouldn’t he want to look at himself while having sex? It has gotten to the point where sometimes he can only climax when he is looking at himself, seeing his lewd expressions and listening to his own moans.

 Mixophilia: a kink related to watching yourself having sex. Recording sex and mirrors are two ways to enjoy this kink.

Same as before, he loves seeing himself getting off and recording it to keep it forever. It also happens that he has an Only Fans, because he couldn’t help himself and wanted to share his beauty with the rest of the world. He has quite a big following already, both on his OF and other platforms.

 Pecattiphilia: fetish for sinning and breaking religious rules.

As the others this is self-explanatory, but for Asmo I think it’s amplified. Lust is his form of life, and he indulges into it a lot more than the others I think. It’s in everything he does, his social media, his social life, his partying… It’s even present when he talks with his siblings. Asmo is different in that sense, because he isn’t like Beel that simple cannot help himself, or like Mammon that is greedy to a fault, he just simple loves indulging into his instincts and letting himself go.

Quirofilia: fetish for hands. Some people fetishize certain parts of the hand such as the fingers or fingernails. Others may prefer hands of a certain size or shape. Still others with this fetish may enjoy seeing hands performing certain actions. It could be masturbation or something nonsexual such as washing the dishes.

Asmo loves getting his nails done and for a very good reason, his pretty hands with his new nail polish, all soft and gentle caressing his body is one of his favorite sights. It’s something he enjoys both while looking at them and feeling them on his body. I head canon that his videos for his only fans are very aesthetic and has a lot of close-ups of his hands and mouth, him biting his fingernail and smiling seductively to the camera to get his viewers attention.

Teasing (Tantalolagnia): To enjoy teasing as sexual gratification. This may be prolonged sexual teasing or teasing in the form of insults and ribbing

He hates being rude to his partners but loves letting them get close to climax to just take it away, a long-drawn-out session where he’s just caressing their body, the way they react to him to get him going. He is also really teasing on his videos as I explained before, not letting the viewers see him fully to them when he allows that he gets to slowly and teasingly get his lingerie off.

Voyeurism: a kink for watching someone else while naked or engaged in sexual activity. Voyeurs and exhibitionists make excellent pairings.

Kinda a side effect of the many orgies he has attended, but watching other people gets him off, as long as he is getting some as well, if not he finds it kinda boring.

[for-ests]

Hey, not sure if you do smut but I think this request can work without a lot if you’d prefer😁 reader’s an art student and needs to sculpt a full body nude sculpture and Tom offers but gets a bit cheeky

thanks for the request dear! this was fun to write :-) i literally know nothing about art so if I get something wrong just ignore! i hope you enjoy!! i went a diff +route but I still think it fits! [ mlist ] 

Word count: 3, 273

Warnings: slight nsfw,, nudity 

Pairing: Tom Holland x art student reader!

“The issue is… I have no idea who to ask.” You sighed deeply, embarrassment washing over you as you talked to your best friends about your upcoming project. 

Everyone knew you were a talented sculptor. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that your professional sculpting internship at (your school) was currently learning about Ancient Greece. One of the requirements to pass the semester was to recreate a modern sculpture of someone you knew, and to make it as realistic as possible. Nakedness and all, which was a huge distinction of Greek statues.

There was a big problem though. You were incredibly shy, and you didn’t know who to ask to model for you.

Nudging you with a laugh, your friend flashed you a mischievous smile. “You know a lot of cute guys, why don’t you ask one of them?”

“Cute guys?” You scrunched your nose. “I know like three guys and I would cry if I had to see them naked.”

She sighed. “Fair. Does it have to be a guy?”

*-You nodded regretfully. “It has to be the opposite sex. It’s annoying but I u

erstand why. It’s important to be familiar with both sexes.”

Your best friend air quoted ‘familiar’ with a ridiculous smirk.

“Shut up.” You huffed, trying not to laugh at how dramatic she had become.

“I think I know a guy, he’s an aspiring actor and model.” Your best friend added casually.

Groaning, you shot her a glare. “Why didn’t you say that right away?”

She shrugged. “I like listening to you talk about your art.”

Her compliment almost worked, but you already knew that was partly the reason she was teasing you so hard. The other reason was because she had been trying to set you up with multiple friends for months. According to her, you had been single for far too long.

Her offer made you ponder deeper about your situation. You were slightly awkward when it came to getting to know someone, but you couldn’t imagine asking someone to strip right away so you could sculpt every curve your eyes grazed over. Whoever it ended up being had to be incredibly confident. Shallow yes, but that’s why you were hoping to find someone insanely attractive. Attractive people were usually confident, and responsibly so. “Maybe a stranger would be worse than someone I know.”

Snorting through her nose, your best friend stared at you like you were crazy. “Definitely not. If it’s awkward you never have to see him again. And if it’s not, well you can get cozy with a cutie.”

Taking a deep breath, you rolled your eyes. “I hate you sometimes.” You mumbled under your breath. You knew she was right, but you would never inflate her already enormous ego like that.

“You love me.” She sang sweetly.

“I do, now give him my number and tell him it’s of the utmost importance.”

❀∙∘✿∘∙❀

Days later, that conversation was on your mind as you nervously organized your sculpting tools. Trying to relieve some tension, you slapped a pound of clay against the table, and it echoed throughout the workshop.

Reality was the fact that this so called model boy was on his way to your studio. His name was Tom, and from the pictures you saw–he was incredibly handsome.

You couldn’t believe you had agreed to this, but alas, you needed this experience to pass your class. You just hoped and prayed that Tom was a lot more outgoing than you, and could keep the conversation flowing as you stared intently as his erect… penis.

Your cheeks flared up at the thought. How the hell were you going to do this?

Y/N: help (Y/B/F/N) I cant do this!!! im freaking out

Y/B/F: is he even there yet? lmfao

Y/N: noooooo :((

Y/B/F: if it makes you feel any better, he’s excited and thinks ur pretty

Y/N: why didn’t you tell me that before??!

Y/B/F: do u feel better now tho?

Y/N: no

Y/B/F: ik ur smiling ;) u aint slick

Giggling like a schoolgirl to relieve some of your anxiety, you set your cell phone on the table. Truthfully, your best friend had made you feel better. If anything bad happened, it would surely be a wonderful story to tell everyone in the future.

Your eyes naturally glanced across the room to the clock on the wall. 7:00pm. Tom would be here any minute as scheduled.

You took a deep breath and studied your surroundings. All your tools were in place, and the entire studio was tidied up as if you hadn’t worked the space in weeks. Next, you walked to the wall and glanced at your reflection in the mirror.

With your hair in a bun and your shabby working clothes, you looked suitable at best. You did have a little bit of makeup on to help yourself feel more confident. If you felt good, you could make your client feel good in return.

At least it looked like you didn’t try too hard. You didn’t want this man to get the wrong idea.

Then, snapping you out of your trance, there was a knock on the door.

You straightened out your shirt one last time, and tucked your baby hairs back behind your ears. Scoffing immediately after, you shook your head. Why were you trying to look cute? Who cares!

You rushed to grab the front door, afraid that you were making him wait too long. You flung it open, eyes locking with his right away.

You froze.

He was even more dashing in person.

“Judging by your cute outfit, I think I’m at the right place. Y/N right?”

And a British accent?

“Y-yes!” You flashed a smile to mask your obvious hesitation. You could easily play it off by opening the door and keeping your gaze averted. You were the master of smoothness.

“Thank you for coming, it’s about time I got this project done…” You tittered, locking the door behind him for privacy purposes. “You can set your things on the couch over there.” You pointed, eyes meeting his again when he glanced to the couch and then back to you.

“Awesome.” He nodded, holding your gaze for a moment longer than necessary.

“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” You offered, nodding your head back to the small kitchen in the back of the studio. You wished the studio apartment was yours alone, but you shared it with multiple other college students in your program.

“Water… or beer if you have any?”

You threw your head back in laughter, causing Tom to smile at your genuine reaction.

“Yeah, I can get you one.”

“In the meantime, should I just strip?” He smirked, not trying to be sly with his flirtations. Though your cheeks were dusting with pink, you were able to match his energy. Your best friend definitely set you up with someone she knew you’d like.

“Do whatever you want, love.” You mimicked his British accent. “You’re the guest after all.”

Walking past him, you gave him one last look when he was fully-clothed. Tom was certainly the player type, practically the perfect embodiment of the muse you had in mind. This wouldn’t be awkward for you, and it would be even better for him. Men like him thrived off of cheeky discomfort in their female counterparts.

Yet, truthfully, you were enjoying it as well. It felt nice to be complimented so soon into an introduction.

As you cracked open a can of beer for Tom and yourself, you could hear him shuffling around with his items. The sound of his buckle falling against the floor made you suddenly nervous to turn around.

Inhaling sharply, and gulping down a few more sips of beer, you finally gained the courage to walk back to the studio setup, where Tom had already wandered over to, completely naked.

“You seem to be in your element.” You noted, trying to keep your eyes leveled with his. Now that you were thinking about it, remaining calm and professional was excruciating in front of such an attractive man. And it certainly wasn’t helping that he was enjoying your embarrassment.

And least this was exciting.

Thanking you, Tom took the beer and pressed his lips against the cold aluminum. “I would definitely feel a lot more comfortable if you were naked too, darling.”

“Hey now,” You nose scrunched in a form of mock distaste. The man caught on immediately, holding your gaze with a sort of amusement that was masking desire. “I might think about it if you sit nice and pretty for me for more than five minutes so I can sketch you.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, you walked over to your crafting desk. You decided you were going to start with the hardest part, the part which your grade depended heavily on- from the waist down.

But first, you quickly sketched Tom posing in multiple poses until you were satisfied with one. You had him mimic a sculpture you couldn’t recall, where one hand was pointed forward and the other was rested casually on his hip.

“Can I see what one you want to do?” He asked curiously from the stand you had him propped up on for a better view.

“Sure.” You flashed him your finished sketch. The lines darted all over the page, making it hard for him to picture what was going on in your head. The picture you had drawn would not make sense to anyone else but the artist. But apparently you were talented, so he would trust the process.

You were also trusting the process. The situation you were in could only be awkward if you allowed it to be. And so far it was moving along smoothly. You had your favorite music playing softly in the background to fill the silence, and Tom seemed to be relaxed and unbothered by how quietly you worked.

“That’s cool.” Tom whispered, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

Giggling from his sudden proximity, you tried to tease him. “It’s fine to not understand it.”

“I definitely don’t know what’s going on but it’s still interesting.” He admitted.

You set the paper back down on the table, and decided to attempt and sculpt the base. Moving past a still naked Tom, you tried to immerse yourself in your work, or at least make it seem like you were focused. “This takes hours you know, weeks and months- it won’t make sense for a long time.”

“Perfect.” He grinned. “I’ll get plenty of time to know you better.”

Laughing through your nose, you kept your attention on the clay you had dropped on the floor. “You can put your clothes back on.”

“Oh!” He chuckled. “Yeah.”

As you carefully trimmed the base clay with a heavy frame, you lifted your head to find Tom slipping a robe back on. He definitely came prepared. Had he done this before?

“Come here.” You gestured. “I need you to set your feet down on the clay.”

“I didn’t think this would get dirty so fast.”

“Shut up.” You huffed, grabbing his foot and pressing it down hard until the clay took shape to the size.

“Cold.” Tom commented in discomfort.

“I know.” You released your grip on his calf, looking up at him with a sheepish smile. “All part of the process, but good news for you- you’re done for the night.”

“Really?” Tom raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?”

You nodded, standing back up to normal height. “I’m experienced enough to sculpt the feet and legs tonight.”

“When should I come back?” He sounded a tad too eager, but it caused your smile to reappear.

“Tomorrow night if you’re available.”

“And maybe next time you can bring your own alcohol?” You gestured to the multiple beer cans poking out of the recycling bin.

The man flashed you a smile. “Sounds like a date.”

“It’s definitely not.”

Despite your rejection to his amusing advances, Tom’s expressions and mannerisms remained hopeful. Was it possible he was truly enjoying himself?

“I’ll leave my robe here. I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time?”

“Same time.” You confirmed, nodding him off. It was about time you started to really focus. Attractive man or not, you always got the most and best work done alone.

Because after the first night, the dynamics between you and Tom changed. He became incredibly invested in your process, asking you questions left and right, asking if there was any way he could help, and practically just lounging next to you hours after he would have been free to go.

“What do your sculptures usually look like?”

“Since this isn’t my own studio, I don’t have any of my pieces here. But I can show you a picture when I get my hands wiped off.”

“What do you build your sculptures with? It’s hard to imagine that a replica of me can come out of that much clay.”

“My sculptures are built with water-based clay and are fired in a gas kiln to cone 4, about 2150 degrees Fahrenheit… “ You nodded towards the back wall that had an installed kiln for you and everyone to share. “Trust me, there will be a lot more clay. Hundreds of pounds worth.”

“Can I help?”

“No.”

There was no lying that you enjoyed his presence. Whether he was talking your ear off or napping to the peaceful beat of your jazz music, there was never a dull moment when Tom was in your studio.

Weeks passed, and so did the process. Your sculpture of Tom had progressed to week three, and that’s when you started to grow nervous. When you finished, which you were almost done, would you ever see him again?

You had barreled through the awkwardness of replicating his genitals and chiseling his six pack perfectly into the hardening clay- but you still felt like something was missing. You knew even when you finished chiseling away his jaw line and chocolate brown eyes, there would still be something missing. Him. His presence.

Maybe it would have been better if you partnered up with a man that had zero personality.

Since it was just you and Tom for hours on end, your conversations gradually grew deeper, they stretched into new lengths, so much so that you eventually felt like you had known him for years.

When Tom claimed he wasn’t looking for a relationship, you felt your heart fall. That’s when you realized you were developing stronger feelings for your model. You hardly had time to think about trivial things like that, but you couldn’t deny your disappointment.

And you were sure he saw the brief tears glossing over your eyes when you turned away. Yet, he didn’t make light of it.

That’s when you knew it was useless.

It seemed useless until the sixth week, when you finally finished the head. You were too afraid to attach it. Tom had spent the last couple hours with you in the studio. His legs kicked back and occasional whistles streaming from his lips. He had practically memorized your playlist to the extent you had.

“Tom.” You called. “Your face is done.”

He cheered excitedly, pushing himself off the sofa and racing towards you. Tom had learned to give you your space while you worked, but in moments where you summoned him, he barely stood inches from you. The man would constantly touch you in ways you couldn’t deny sent shivers down your spine.

Like he did as he rounded the tabletop, planting himself by your side and placing his hand on the low of your back. As if it was natural.

“Wow,” He breathed. “Y/N,” Your name upon his lips sounded as blissful as the music. “It’s.. it’s wonderful. It looks just like me... wow that’s scary.”

“I’m happy you like it.” You bit your lip, wishing you felt more satisfied with your project. You wanted to impress him, but you didn’t want him to go.

“All I have to do is attach the head, and fire it up in the furnace one more time. Then it should be good to go.”

You moved to do so, wanting to remove yourself from his grip. It hurt your heart to know the bond you had formed with him would come to an end. Why did you even let yourself get to this point? Was it because he was good at flirting?

“Wait-” His sentence faltered when you whipped around to face him- looking somewhat hopeful.

“What?”

Tom paused, his throat tightening with the words he never thought he would admit. But he couldn’t leave tonight with at least trying. He needed to know how you felt. Because he could either leave with you in his arms, or he could leave never having to see you again.

He had been thinking of confessing to you for days now, but now that the time came, his mind was blank. “You really are beautiful, you know that right?”

“Why do you feel the need to flatter me?” You blurted, still unable to decipher the truth behind his words. You didn’t know how to accept such a compliment. Tom had claimed you were beautiful before, but this time it felt different.

His eyes spoke volumes. The beauty his eyes held was something you would never be able to replicate in a statue. It was a sight you found yourself never growing sick of.

Averting your eyes, you tried to move again. Yet this time, Tom gripped onto both of your arms.

“Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I won’t let you play me.”

“I was never playing you, darling.” The tenderheartedness intertwined with his words caused you to slowly turn your head back. Your lip quivered, and suddenly you felt like a schoolgirl all over again. You felt childish and unprepared for the intensity of your emotions.

“I don’t want to leave tonight without knowing if you feel the same.”

You blinked, hand reaching out to grip onto his. “And that is?” 

“I don’t know if it’s love, but it could be.” 

“That’s all I needed to hear.” You said, incredibly softly. 

Tom released your arms. And before either of you could process what to do next, your lips interlocked. 

You gripped onto him tightly, balling his white t shirt into a fist to keep him from leaving your side again. 

“Tom-” You breathed. 

The kiss you shared was laced with a fervent need, one that you had never experienced before, and one that you craved again and again. 

After the passion you felt, the skin prickling desire, there would be no turning back. 

“Fuck, you’re everything”’ He mumbled against your lips. 

You pulled back slightly to gaze at his expression. He had looked so afraid before, but now he was smiling from ear to ear. Much like he did the day he arrived with a teasing attitude, ready to get under your skin and provide entertainment. 

“How long have you felt like this?” 

“Since the first day.” He kissed you again, his hands cupping your cheeks. 

You whimpered against his muscular frame, trying to ignore the fluttering in your core, fluttering that begged and craved for more. 

“How did you wait so long?” 

“I wanted you to finish.” 

You chuckled, cheesing at his straightforward, simple reply. 

You were positive from that moment moving on, that Tom was not what you had thought at first glance. This entire time he had put you and your project first, letting his own desires sit and warm on the back-burner. That was something you would hold close to your heart, something you would cherish. 

He cared for you in the same way you cared for him. 

“Stay with me tonight, Tom.” 

“I would love nothing more.” 

[queerlytical]

Unpacking my aversion to cis-het men - 08/12/2020

This is going to be a long one.  One I’m quite nervous about posting about even when I’m here anonymously!

Will probably refer to cis-het men as men/guys generally in this post btw. & the ex I refer to here is a guy I was with for 5 years which was an emotionally abusive relationship. 

I’ve recently started to challenge my feelings towards cis-het men.  Accepting that I have the judgement that all men are basically weak minded by not challenging society as it is (and therefore accepting of all the oppression), and are desperately affected by toxic masculinity.  

A small part of my brain knows that’s not true.  I have a couple of cis-het male friends who I love and are clearly not like that.  But when I think “what would be the problem if I ended up with a man in the future?” the other part of my brain immediately shuts the idea down like “why would you do such a thing?! you only like women, end of story”.  Thinking that the guys  who are open minded and unpacking their own priveleges/opinions etc. are so few and far between there is probably none left out there for me to meet.  

So I decided to challenge this notion.  And perhaps there is some underlying internal homophobia conflicting with these thoughts at the same time like “if I just gave men a chance.” or “it would be so much easier to just find a guy who is interested in me” (there is a lot underlying that quote tho - not that many wlw in my area, my personal feelings towards myself as to how cis-het men perceive me).

Along with challenging this notion, I have basically been craving to be dominated and penetrated in the bedroom, with no particular strings attached.  The people I’ve slept with this year weren’t great experiences and I just wanted someone to push me around and top me.  I know there are women who would gladly do that but the women I tend to date haven’t been like that and I’ve always been more of the top than the bottom.  I have never entertained a guy for sex where I have decided for myself that this is what’s going to happen, I’ve always been pursuaded into it (I didn’t learn about consent until the last couple of years, clearly). I wanted to feel that control.  I wanted to be the one to say, I’ve decided this this time.  And to see, how I would actually feel given that this was something I wanted and not sort of forced onto me.

I changed my Bumble search to include “everyone”.  Note that I had also ran out of women in my search radius by this stage so it was just men coming up now.  It was interesting.  I noticed that there are a lot of guy profiles that are basically the same - “where can you be found after work? the gym” or “what do you quote too much from? the office, US”.  Literally after swiping for about 10 minutes I could have written the exact same profile as like 40% of these profiles I was now faced with.  

I obviously ended up swiping left for the majority of guy profiles.  I paid more attention to the men who had kind eyes, nice smiles, beards (I love a beard strangely enough), and anything interesting in their profile.  I struggled to swipe right on white men in particular. I think this makes sense due to:

 my ex being white and racist (and I have a tendency to want to get as far as possible from this particular ex), 

a close friend who was my only white cis-het friend who then turned out to be a racist tory

my dad who is white, racist and homophobic (not terribly but enough to make me uncomfortable to discuss anything with him).  

Plus the general consensus that white cis-het men are the most priveleged in society and they can never understand someone like me, right?  Let alone have done any of the unpacking and learning about their own privilege..  

I matched with a few guys and had brief conversations with them before getting overwhelmed about messaging people on dating apps (happens whenever I can’t keep on top of messaging like more than one person at a time).  There were some okay chats, nothing overly flirty.  Some voicenotes which freaked me out a little, not 100% sure why hearing men’s voices so early after speaking to someone online scares me, but it’s probably because I’m not as comfortable sending voicenotes myself.  

There was a lot of me saying to myself “what am I doing?! LOLOLOL”

I’m going to talk about one of the guys in particular now.  We’ll call him Z.  Z’s profile was very minimal, basically just said “ask if you want to know more”.  But he had a nice face, lovely smile, and his first picture even looked quite feminine in the face - he has super long eyelashes and due to the lockdown hair he was wearing a hairband.  He’s Asian (Sikh) like my two closest friends.  I have spoken to him more than any of the other matches from Bumble.  We don’t really talk much of substance.  I told him I’m “basically a lesbian” quite early on  and he told me he’d been healing from a long relationship and was now “ready to have some fun”.  He didn’t seem particularly phased that I was into women, didn’t say anything cringey like “don’t worry, I’ll turn you” (which is what I used to get when I was younger).  This pushed the conversations in a direction where it was kind of agreed that this was all a bit of fun - flirty, sexual.  

My first experience with a guy being interested me back in high school eventually turned into a FWB situation so this type of relationship I am used to and basically expect from men..  I’m not particularly bother by this atm but might unpack this some more at some point.   

Anyway, as me and Z are just having some fun, I’ve not been vulnerable or told him much about things I care about - I don’t even think he knows my full name. It has actually been a breath of fresh air when I’ve been with people who are too intense for me throughout my dating life.  He is very much the kind of person I would never usually interact with too- likes and plays football, hangs with a group of “lads”.  I don’t think we have anything in common yet we still manage to chat (albeit with gaps of many hours in between some messages).

What did interest me about Z quite early on in our conversations is that he never said the word “girls”, always “women”.  I pointed this out to him and he confirmed he did that on purpose because he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “boy” and that women deserve the same language used when referencing grown ass women.  This sticks in my mind as it definitely broke down one of my mental barriers around men not being able to understand “what’s the big deal”.  I think that’s probably why I’ve managed to speak to him for as long as we have.  Later on he also mentioned that people “can’t be fat shaming” which surprised me even more.  (Does my brain think cis-het men live under a rock or something?!).

We’ve been speaking 3 weeks at this stage.  We agreed to meet this weekend.  We ended up delaying it from Sunday to last night (Monday) because he was tired from a busy weekend and “wanted to give me the full experience”.  Surprisingly this didn’t make me super cringe.  I think I was probably more relieved to delay it another day as I was pretty nervous about how it would go, my head overthinking like - what if we have nothing to talk about? what if he comes all this way and I change my mind (as I am of course allowed to)? what if he’s a catfish and hurts me? etc. etc.  I don’t overthink this much when I date women.

So he was on his way.  I was running in circles getting ready like “WHAT AM I DOING?!!!”.  I had some rum to take the edge off and played the piano anxiously while he was on the way as something to take my mind off thinking about what was about to happen.

He arrived.  He was who he said he was.  He was the person who was in his pictures.  He was slightly slimmer than I expected but that was just the angles that his pictures were taken in.  It wasn’t awkward.  I poured us a drink and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a couple of hours.  He talked a lot, I hardly got a word in edgeways.  I didn’t mind as it put me at ease that there was no awkward silences. 

We finished our drinks.  I hadn’t left the heating on in my lounge so it had gotten quite cold..  I got closer to him.  Then we kissed.  It was nice.  I love kissing anyone who’s a good kisser no matter their gender. The excitement of the whole situation turned me on and we took it to my bedroom.

I struggled to look at him naked although when I did, I didn’t feel strange like I thought I would.  Obviously there is nothing wrong with the male form, I just haven’t seen a dude naked in my bedroom for years and when I was younger I used to tell myself I had phallophobia..  The sex was pretty much what I was looking for.  He didn’t bring a condom though which didn’t annoy me loads in the moment, despite him saying “I prefer without but ok” to which I replied “I don’t know where you’ve been” *eye roll*.  I thankfully had my own condoms (my stash usually for making dental dams, yno) but after I was kind of thinking to myself like “who the fuck goes to have casual sex with someone and doesn’t bring a condom when they have a penis?!”. I didn’t even let my ex bare-back me let alone some random dude.  

Anyway, I did it.  Consensual sex was better than any sex I had with my ex (not surprising).  He didn’t make me climax but it felt good (sex isn’t goal orientated for me but I know it was for him, as I assume it is with most men).  We held each other and chatted naked for a while after.  I think he wanted round 2 but I’m not sure I could have handled it.  He left relatively promptly after and I felt.. content.

I think I got what I wanted out of the experience.  It definitely boosted my confidence.  I’m not sure if I’ll see him again yet.  I definitely still feel very queer and mostly into women, I missed boobs a lot (like what do het-women hold onto?).

Part of me is like “okay next step is to see what it would be like to go on a romantic date with a guy” - something I have never ever done.  I don’t think I’ve been interested in it in the past (since growing up that is).  I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I would probably just treat them as my friend and have no clue how to flirt (if I even wanted to flirt).  But there are many conflicting thoughts about dating men romantically - what if it’s a success?  I’d end up feeling disowned by my new queer friends or judged by them, or what if I hurt someone?  how will dating guys impact how I feel about my own queerness??  I just settled back into my queer identity and now it feels I’m going backwards again.

I am definitely enjoying this new side to me that doesn’t take dating seriously and being comfortable that I don’t want a relationship right now and that’s okay!  I am continually learning about myself and trying to breakdown my own barriers so I can be my most true authentic self.  I’m having fun, and doing what’s best for me.  Which is a complete u-turn on the person I was less than a few years ago who just wanted to please everyone and was so depressed and burnt out doing so.

[uninformedmoviereviews]

Midsommar Notes

- it’s the guy from the maze runner !!

- yikes dani is crying on the phone

- is the house on fire that’s kinda whack

- why’s there a long ass hose

- the set design is hella good

- dani’s cries are low key annoying tho

- I JUST REALIZED MARK HAS BEEN VAPING THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE SO FAR

- wait josh is in the good place

- this cast is so good

- “you’re an american just jam yourself in there”

- mark’s vaping throughout this movie is my saving grace

- “so we just gonna ignore the bear there?” “It’s a bear.”

- dude the period pubic hair quilt is kinda weird

- like not about that life

- mark’s inability to light a candle represents the lack of flame in their love life

- love me some early morning yoga

- dani’s roots said hi

- why does this feel like the giver with the elders being celebrated

- the juxtaposition between quiet and noise during the eating scene is so good

- they use sound soo well in this movie

- why they meeting on a cliff that’s a little weird

- they really said let’s cut open your whole hand

- dani’s breathing just annoys me

- oop some more noise juxtaposition

- looks like dani has some trauma

- the man’s leg really said \/

- woah are they gonna kill him

- dani being frozen during this part is some intense foreshadowing

- his head looks like a pancake

- why does everybody keep letting dani go off alone

- like chill someone should take care of her

- damn none of them care for each other I geuss

- christian rlly said i don’t care about anyone

- i mostly just want to see where mark is and how he’s doing right now

- christian does not care about his friends w o w

- josh is the only valid person in this movie

- “do you feel held dani”

- dani rlly be taking all the drugs she can get her hands on

- orange hair girl needs to chill. like her face annoys me

- where is marks vape :(

- the vape is my favourite character in the movie

- why does orange hair girl want to fuck christian both mark and josh are hotter

- why is mark pissing everywhere can he chill

- agshwgsushsh mark pissed on the ancestral tree

- i love the british couple they are also valid :(

- i would die for connie and simon

- looks like connie and simon have some relationship issues 😳😳

- love when u just ask if they do incest there

- are there gonna be people in the meat tarts

- oop they make inbreeded oracles

- still missing marks vape

- why is christian drinking carrot juice

- connie and simon are dead aren’t they

- wait gross what the fuck

- ew ew ew she did the pubic hair period love spell

- that’s s o gross I can’t

- why does that guy have his dick out

- josh low key deserves it

- woah is that mark’s face wtf

- josh is deadddddd

- dani is def on drugs now

- what was even in that tea

- why is christian just chilling in a waiting room

- why does maja like christian he’s so boring

- christian better not cheat on dani

- the flowers opening and closing is s o cool

- everything is rippling that is s uch a cool effect

- how many dead people are they standing on at any given time

- jesus christ christian can you chill

- dude why the fuck is christian getting raped

- oh that’s a lot of naked women

- wope christian is naked too

- yo this whole christian scene is so not cool

- like rip to dani but also this whole crying scene is brilliant

- this juxtaposition is brilliant

- god i hate the christian scene

- christian’s penis is just all the way out

- oh no a foot

- wtf wtf wtf

- why is simon all strung up like this

- hate that

- is he still breathing what the fuck

- dude simon deserves so much better

- the flowers in the eyes are kinda cute tho

- hunger games time

- who’s the tribute

- it’s tobjorn

- why’d she kill christian that’s so not cool

- they really turned mark into an elf didnt they

- i miss josh :(

- i also miss mark’s vape

- poor christian

- and dats on trauma

- why is orange hair wearing lipstick now lmao

- you rape someone so now you get makeup then?

- this ending is so sad

- they really said geometric shapes

- wasn’t that horror-y to me idk

- the ending music do be a bop tho

[mrs-hollandstan]

Hey! So I really like your writing and I was thinking that you could write something of giving Tom a blowjob for the first time cause like oof boy would be shook

So I discovered something about the male anatomy haha. If you've ever seen a penis or anything, there's like a seam on the scrotum (balls) and come to find out the seam is the remnants of the labia because everyone starts out as a female. The more you know haha. NSFW below tho.

"Are you sure? You really don't have to." Tom practically spits out, shrugging his jacket off. You giggle and nod,

"Tom, I'm fine with it. It's just a blowjob. I... I'm ready to start our little... sexually active sex life. And this is where I wanna start." He nods, licking his lips,

"Alright... sure, yeah. Where uhm... where do you wanna do it?" You look around the living room,

"The armchair should suffice yeah?" He glances over his shoulder and nods,

"Okay, yeah." Walking to it, you watch him pull his top off, reaching down to unbutton and unzip his jeans, kicking his shoes off. You smile when he turns and pushes his pants and boxers off, sitting in the armchair before the fireplace. He sighs, stretching his legs out. He watches you kick your boots off, before crouching between his legs. The look of you, still completely dressed while he's 100% naked is what gets him going. You stare down at his erection, licking your lips,

"Anything you want me to do? Anything you like better than something else?" He shrugs,

"Just go with what feels natural." You nod, sitting back on your shins, hands rested on his tense thighs. He sucks in a labored breath, heart pounding in his chest as you lean in to lick up the underside of the twitching shaft. You run the tip of your tongue over the veins protruding from him, his chin pressed to his chest so he can see you as clear as possible. He takes a deep breath when your eyes flick up to his, staring at him while you wrap your hand around the base of him, the tip of your tongue running along the slit to collect the pre-cum leaking from it.

His mouth hangs open just the slightest, watching your mouth envelope the tip of his cock, your tongue back in place, acting as a sort of pillow for his cock. You gently move your mouth down around him, Tom's head falling back against the back of the chair. He sighs gently, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. Your mouth is like a dream and Tom can't believe that after almost three months, you're FINALLY getting around to sex stuff.

Glancing back down at you, he licks his lips, sighing through his nose. Running his fingers along your jaw, he cups it, running his fingers through your hair. He caresses your hollows cheek,

"You are... so beautiful." He mumbles. He couldn't care less about getting off. He doesn't want to see you stop. As much as he'd love to see his cum on your tongue, he could stare at you all night. He could watch you suck him off long into the night. You bat your lashes up at him, know it would drive him crazy. And the second you do, he can feel the first licks of his orgasm at his nerve endings. He bites his bottom lip, eyes locked in yours as you bob your head just the smallest bit faster.

"So beautiful. I didn't think a blowjob could be so profounding. Sure I've had girls suck me off but I don't think any of them are as beautiful as you. Such a pretty girl." You giggle around him, your eyes crinkling and your lips turning up around him. Your teeth graze his shaft, a gentle gasp slipping from his lips. His body shakes, hands coming to grasp the arms of the chair. He hums, licking his lips again,

"S'really sexy." He reaches down, gathering your hair in his hand, and holding it from your face. You hum around him, reaching down to run your fingers along his balls. He curses, knowing that there's a pleasure center involving his balls. He knows that if you hit just the right spot while playing with him, he'll cum faster than ever,

"Y/N..." He warns. You giggle again, slipping your hand to cradle his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze. He grips the arm of the chair in his opposite hand, his cock throbbing in your mouth as you work him over. Running your thumb between them, you hollow your cheeks again, coming up to suck on his tip again. Stroking him as you remove him from your mouth, you cock your head,

"You gonna cum for me Tommy? I'd love to taste you." He nods, licking his lips again, his breathing picking up,

"You look so fucking sexy with my cock in your mouth pretty girl." You smile,

"Yeah? Something you could get used to?"

"Oh fuck yeah." He quickly replies. Your smile widens and Tom leans in,

"Can I undo your shirt? I wanna see your boobs babe." You giggle and nod, not letting up on his length as he undoes your blouse, brushing it from your shoulders. You let it fall to your elbows his hand slipping up under your black bra to cradle a breast,

"You're perfect. Absolutely stunning." Leaning back in, he rests back, watching you shrug your blouse off before taking him in your mouth again, bobbing your head quickly. Reaching behind you, Tom's breath hitches in his throat as you unclasp your bra and pull it off. The sight of your bare chest is too much. Tom can feel it building, his high coursing through his veins like pure gold.

"Ahh love, that feels so good. Your tits are amazing." You hum, playing with his balls again. And sure enough, you ghost your fingers over the seam in between his balls that'll make him cum and without warning, his back arches as he spills his load into your mouth, moaning your name. You pause, letting streams of cum roll down your throat before swallowing what's left on your tongue. You hum, sucking at his tip for another second before leaning back, laying his soft cock against his stomach.

"Come here love." He coos, smiling as you climb in his lap. He places one hand at your bare lower back, the other arm against your side and holding your shoulder. He kisses the other shoulder as your chests press together. You sigh and lay your head against his shoulder, face in his neck,

"I love you. I owe you." You smile, kissing his throat,

"I love you too. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Holding your body to his, he rubs your soft, bare back,

"I'm definitely glad we waited... sex is... good but I'm glad that we waited and just went on dates and stuff." You nod and agree,

"Me too. But we can explore now. I'm okay with it." He wraps his arms around you, lifting you up and carrying you towards his room,

"How bout we start with you staying over? One of my t-shirts and no panties should suffice." You nod and giggle, letting him him drop you back against the bed. Sighing, you relax into his bed as he undoes your pants, pulling them off,

"Let's shower together yeah?" Staring at the outstretched hand before you, you smile and nod, taking it,

"I'd love that."

[parkjmini]

bts as fuckboys

[a/n]: inspired by @sweetersuga  | original post: x i wrote it as the perspective that you’re already close friends w them/have been with them before !!

Seokjin

he’s the funny, sarcastic one where he could be kind of mean bc he takes it a lil far

“you’re such trash you sleep with every girl”

“at least I can get someone to sleep with me”

he flashes a smile in the hall bc he KnOws iT GeTs oN YouR NeRveS

“When’s my birthday”

“January 1st bc u set off my fireworks baby”

“i am disgusted”

piggy back rides on those goddamn strong broad set of shoulders ooffff

“I’ll call you, ya?”

He never calls u bc he probably forgot too busy improvin himself

you have a streak with him and all he sends are selfies with the caption “I hope your day is as beautiful as I am (:”

He catches you staring in class one day and he’s like “take a pic, it’ll last longer babe”

And omg he ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM

so now u have a gallery full of jin and he wont let u delete them bc he thinks they’re all masterpieces you do too but youd never admit it

the only fuckboy that’s tolerable bc he’s rlly just a big goof 

“why don’t you ever have sleeves on your shirt jin”

“these shoulders are on display, honey, can’t cover up the jewels”

he’s kind of obnoxiously loud that u want to shove ur fist into his mouth to sh u t  him uP 

“dude, jimin’s hot”

“okay but so am i ??”

“ok ya youre really hot but so is jimin”

“jiMIN (Y/N) THINKS YOU’RE—-”

“–ANNOYING THANKS SEOKJIN PLS SHUT UP WHY R U STILL TALKING WOW”

“just trying to get my baby some more dick jeEZ”

Yoongi

“hey yoongs why dont we go on a date??”

“uuhhhhhh since when were we dating? lmao dont trip” 

gets a new number every 2 months bc he loves fucking w them crazy bitches too much

“sometimes you need to mess around with the ones who can bite off your dick, being risky is hot (-;”

“BEinG riSkY iS hOt ya u wont have a penis anymore at the rate you’re going”

kind of smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne 

hand-on-ass-when-he-hugs

“let’s play a game, if u lose u have to take off ur clothes, if i lose u have to take off ur clothes”

“wait but yours stay on ?? wtf yoongi??”

“no mine will come off right after i see u naked (;”

the one to play with the ends of your skirt/dress/shirt bc it gets u so flustered and he lives seeing u flustered 

straight up Arrogantᵀᴹ at times its hot but ur so annoyed by it that u wanna knock some sense into him

wont ask for nudes but will ask to see some goods

“can i see ur tits”

“for the 4039th time, no”

“well, a man can try”

SMIRKY MC SMIRKY HERE like it just comes OUT of NOWHERE and it is OUT to ATTAC 

u dont have a snap streak w him bc it always breaks bc he replies every 3 years bc he was “busy”

but he’s always the fourth person to like your instagram posts???????

and to comment the water droplet/eye/tongue emoji combo ????

loves when u swat his hands away from gripping your thigh 

Hoseok

(i wanted to use this gif but it was so big and rectangle and didnt fit but u need to see that gif to really take in the fuckboy bc i cannot find a representation as accurate as that gif is)

always greeting you whenever he sees you

“hey babygirl”

“hoseok we just saw each other in chemistry”

“ok and????? can’t i say hi to my baby?”

“but im not”

“lmao every girl is my baby”

raises his eyebrows any time you fix your dress or your shirt

asks to borrow a pencil and never returns it

“where is my pencil hoseok”

“where is my kiss (y/n)”

“we didnt agree to that”

“well i didnt agree to give it back”

“dO u NoT kNOW whAT BoRRoW meANS”

loves to share so he shares a lot of his snacks with u

“omg i love snacks!!”

“oh baby me too” and trust me, he’s not talking about the food

has the brightest, kindest smile so it catches you off guard when he says some snarky fuckboy comment

loves physical contact !!!!! always has a hand on your back, or shoulder, or thigh, or hand, or arm

lip LICKING PARDON ME HIS TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLE

lets you wear his hats/jackets/hoodies bc he thinks youre sooo cute in his clothes

he walks around school with his hands in his pockets like a doUCHEBAG

catches you off guard by spinning you around with his arm around your waist 

uses the line “im a dancer” to get girls what an eyeroll

the type to drag you onto the middle of the dance floor at a club just so he could show off his skillz which are actually super bomb like even ur impress and uve seen them 308443 times

he got that sweatpants dick print 

Namjoon

changes his contact name to Daddy on your phone

Mr. Ass Man he loves ass ASS ASS ASS SO MUCH ASS BIGGEST ASS LOVER

“oh shit did you see her ass”

“look here bootylover123 stfu”

winks at you a lot in the halls 

“do you have a fucking eye problem namjoon”

“its a wink” 

“u do it so much that im beginning to think youre eye is having a spasm 

lets you copy his homework if he got a hug in return

the type to comment a peach emoji on your instagram photos even if there is no butt involved

loves when you sit on his lap 

one time there weren’t enough seats on the bus and he patted his leg for you to sit

“i know you hate standing (y/n), take a seat itll be fine”

“why can’t u be a gentleman and give up your seat for me?”

*alMOST CHOkES from LAUGHING* “me???!!! a gentleman??? wow u expect too much, just sit your big ass down on daddy’s lap or suffer standing”

buys you lunch bc he loves showing off his e x p e n s i v e w a l l e t 

he could go from having a full blown brilliant monologue as to why he exists to giggling about how your moles r arranged into the shape of a penis 

calls girls mami or ma 

asks for ass pics at like 1:32 AM 

and u send him pictures of ur elbow crease 

and he actually thinks its ur butt

BLASTS baby makin music from his car and causes a public disturbance 

has the highest count of broken beds, not bc of a high body count, but bc he actually breaks the bed everytime he sleeps w someone

Jimin

spaces out when ur wearing a low cut top bc hes too busy staring at ur cleavage 

his streak snaps are either mirror pics, his abs, mirror pic of his abs, and occasional dick pics

“wanna play 20 questions (;”

“we’ve played 20 questions like 20 times already”

“ok gr8 ill start first: will u let me hit it from the back??”

offers to netflix and chill all the time and it sux bc he actually knows all ur fav shows

ok let me reiterate, jimin knows all ur favorite anythings bc he listens to u 75% of the time bc he thinks ur voice is sexy 

will never fail to compliment you when u look good 

“damn baby, is this all for me????”

“no i just dont want to look like a hobo today”

gets super jealous when any other guys speak to u even tho hes piping down like 8 other girls 

“jimin they’re my frIENDS ur not even my bf why u tripping”

“they arent acting like theyre ur friends. i know fuckboy behavior when i see it (y/n) its my occupation, i do the same shit w girls”

“thats good then, someone else wants me too”

“not good bc ur HOT ASS IS MINE )-:”

youre saved as #1 babygirl on his phone no objections

walks into class with a new hickey in a new place every day 

he has SEX EYES u could never look him directly in the eyes bc theyre so captivating 

fucking walks like an arrogant prick down the hall and whistles when u pass 

brags about his big dick when its honestly not as exaggerated as he says 

has a picture of you in one of his shirts as his homescreen wallpaper 

Taehyung

“i wont show anyone, im not messed up like that” yea be careful w this one honey, pretty sure jungkook, hobi, yoongs, namjoon all know how ur tits look like

has the perfect innocent face where u have no idea that he’s fucking 4 other girls

always responds after 12 am and calls u at 3 am 

“tae im fucking sleeping”

“damn thats hot what else u doin??”

“hanging up on u goodbye im going to block ur number”

“pls don-”

uses the line, “i just dont think we’re compatible” on E V Ery GIRL 

offers to hangout but never follows up with it bc he’s never seen out in public with a girl unless its his momma 

“jasmine is telling everyone you gave her chlamydia, u get checked bro??”

“dont worry about it”

body count means a lot to him 

loves hugs bc he likes feeling boobs squished against him

sometimes INTENTIONALLY lowers his voice bc he KNOWS ur into that shit 

thinks youre playing hard to get when rlly u just dont care lol

“i know u want all of this, (y/n)”

“i think ur mistaken”

“right bc i want all of u (:” 

“ya tae let’s not get ur feelings mixed w mine ok thx u”

NO SUCH THING AS PERSONAL SPACE the boy is a koala and will latch onto u 

Jungkook

the biggest fuckboy of them all

has slept w almost every girl in the school and is v proud of it

“what’s your name again”

“rlly jungCOCK” 

“ok (y/n) i know ur fkcing name so can u learn mine”

u dont think he’s ever had a gf b4 bc he doesnt believe in labels OR commitment which hes pretty vocal abt 

unlike jimin, he doesnt own up to his dick pics and swears that they were “”accidents””

SCrEENsHOTS! but ur smart so ur face is NEVER in ur pics

“who’s boobs r on ur phone kook”

“yours”

“you WOULDNT DARE”

“i dont have photogenic memory (y/n) i wanted to remember those cuties without a shirt on (;”

looks too fucking good w a fresh cut that u need to avoid him in the halls or ull melt to goo

only owns white tees and timbs lmao hahahaha 

smirks when you bend down to pick something up 

that or he yells, “one more time, babe!”

“wat u doin”

“showering”

“without me!!1???” 

he’s on tinder too so once he’s done with the sampling pool at school, he can broaden his horizons 

a car enthusiast and will get offended if u dont think his rims r cool

thinks youre really hot when you yell at him or hurt his feelings 

youre his prized possession bc he actually likes talking to u but will never admit it 

has a specific nickname for u that he doesnt call his other girls bc its YOURS !! 

“hey cutie”

“hey jungCOCK”

hates the nickname jungCOCK 

[enrinkari]

I was at HRX part one

Here are some cool little tidbits I found out from Chuk. (btw I don’t know all the names of the skins off the top of my head but you should get what i’m getting at.)

The new Bubblegum Sol skin had a few changes to it before they could release it. The had to change her hair color b/c solid pink made it look penis like. And last minute they had to add boy shorts under her skirt b/c “her flying animation is fine when she’s a naked lady made of fire, but add clothes to her and suddenly it’s an upskirt shot!”

They have a popularity matrix to show where the gods stand, which is a factor (tho not the only one) in choosing what god gets a skin.

Another neat little fact: if you own two skins for a god, data shows you more than likely own all the skins for that god.

The Tron Hun Batz skin didn’t sell that well, which means it’ll probably be a bit before Hun Batz gets another skin.

The Fire Lord Ne Zha skin was made b/c people didn’t want to play Ne Zha since he was so androgynous. It worked. Ne Zha’s popularity went up after the skin was released.

Chuk was the one who fought for the 50s era Bellona skin. His higher up didn’t think it would sell well. Chuk also said if another god comes out where that theme cold work again, we’d get another 50s skin.

Chuk doesn’t own Merdusa. He forgot to buy something to unlock her, and that skin has a weird coding so he can’t just give himself it, so he’ll never own her.

Chef Vulcan will be the focus point of the next community skin contest; either we’ll be voting for Chef Vulcan or no Chef Vulcan, or it’ll be Chef Vulcan against other community concepts. The reason for this is there are actually only a few slots open for direct purchase skins, and the community skin is one of them.

Grim Reaper Thanatos is how they wanted Thanatos to look from the get go, but due to them sucking the China market’s dick, and China’s tight ban on skeletons in video games (and maybe media as a whole i’m not sure), they couldn’t do it.

Speaking of Thanatos, he has a skin coming down the pipe that is the final form of Archon Thanatos, but turned into a demon/fallen angel.

Chuk would love to make more than one Ao Kuang skin a year, but all the form changing gods take a lot more time to make. It just happens that when the Ao skins can be made and released has been during the Odyssey for the past 3 years. (Dragon Knight was a reward, and Steampunk and Sand Wyrm were buyable.)

They are going to try to have a skin for new gods ready two patches after the god is released. They may even aim for the patch after they are released, but that can be difficult.

They have data that “fans of smite tend to also be fans of anime” so they have developed an anime shader to work with, so expect more “cartoony” skins a la Bearly Buzzed Bacchus. He also wants to re-release Magical Girl Neith and Anime Thor WITH the anime shader. He mused just giving the skins for free to those that own them already so they can choose which version they want to use.

Finally, and a BIG ONE, is that the fact they can’t just go in and fix small visual things, like dark Hel’s hair, is that when they do stuff like remodels or skins they have to send the package of everything to console, right? Well all that stuff adds up, and if they go over what, at least, Microsoft allows, they have to pay. One patch they fixed a lot of small things with gods, and it cost the company $15,000 to put that patch on Xbox. That is also the reason why mastery skins only get redone when that god is already getting a new skin.

A side note: Chuk is a really nice dude in person. Please don’t get too mad at him about things he’s just doing his job.

[18silverwolf]

Theo Raeken Imagines: Imagine 37: Cheating is unforgivable

(A/n: This is a request imagine from @Rideswiththedarksidesorry it took a little while but I hope you enjoy it)

Y/n is Scott's sister and she is currently dating Liam. Their relationship was pure until one day she discovered that Her boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on her with one of her closest friend Hayden.

Its only been 2 weeks since Y/n found out that Liam and Hayden went behind her back and cheated on her. she is so hurt that its hard to be around them at all. especially at school.

Y/N's POV:

It was another day at school however i haven't been to school for the last 2 weeks due to being sick but also because i locked myself in my room because i couldn't didn't want to see Liam, but now being at school is going to be hard to avoid him and Hayden.

I walked into class to see my brother Scott, Stiles, Lydia, Liam, Hayden sitting in a circle and talking i felt very anxious all of a sudden Hayden looked at me.

I cant do this i thought and walked out of the class room and walked out of the school and went and sat on the bleachers near the lacrosse field.

Suddenly someone sat down beside me which made me look up to see Theo sitting there. ever since Liam brought him back he has changed so much. "are you okay?" Theo asked me "Uh well i guess so" I replied "I know that Liam cheated on you with Hayden and that's the reason why you haven't been at school right?" Theo asked my eyes went wide "How did you know about That only Scott , Stiles and of course Liam and Hayden know? And no i have been sick as well as i wasn't really in the mood to face Liam or Hayden" I replied being 100% honest.

"well stick with me since we have all the same classes today and when we have lacrosse practice you can come and hang out, also if you wanted to do you wanna come over and i can help you catch up on the school work you have missed?" Theo asked "That would be great thanks Theo" I said as i grabbed my bag and stood up while Theo did as well.

we both started to walk back to our class which was English. we walked in and sat down beside each other which made my brother and the rest of the pack look at us but i just ignored them and continued to get my books that i needed for class out of my bag and placed them onto my desk.

Theo lent over and said "I don't think their happy that we are talking let alone sitting together, also after Lacrosse practice we can go straight to my house to study" Theo whispered into my ear.

"That is a good idea" I whispered back before the teacher came into the room and started talking about  the subject and what needs to be done for the english essay. This class was boring suddenly i felt Theo's arm behind my back which was resting on the back of my chair.

Skip to after school:

Once school was finished Theo and I went to our lockers before he had to go to the locker room to get ready for his Lacrosse practice.

After Lacrosse Practce:

I waited outside the Locker room for Theo when Scott, Stiles, Issac and Liam Walked out, "Y/n what are you doing here?" Scott asked confused as he raised an eyebrow at me "I'm waiting for Theo, He's gonna help me catch up on school work that i missed over the last 2 weeks, and i'm gonna go to his house and hes gonna drive since you have a pack meeting"  I replied just as Theo walked out of the locker room "Hey y/n are you ready?" Theo asked I just nodded and "See you later Scott" I replied.

Skip ride to Theo's house:

Once we were at Theo's house he unlocks his front door and we walked into his kitchen and grabbed snacks before he lead me up to his bedroom. Once we were in his room he sat at his desk while i sat on his bed.

We grabbed our books out of our school bags and scattered all of the work that we needed in front of us. We sat there and did work for about 2 hours before Theo started to get bored.

He sat on the bed and looked at me. truth be told i have kinda thought Theo was attractive but i never thought as him in that way because i though Liam was the one but i was wrong.

I didn't realise that we had been staring at each other the whole time until I felt Theo grab my face and bring his face Closer to mine until our lips were nearly touching. His lips touched mine and the kiss turned to a heated make out, Things were starting to get  more heated.

SMUT AHEAD READ AT YOUR RISK:

As the kiss became more heated, Theo's hands went to my hips and My arms wrapped around his neck. I climbed into his lap while still making out with him.

Suddenly Theo's hands started to lift up my top which was resting on my hips. I lifted my hands up which allowed Theo to take my top off my body. Once off i was left in my bra and jeans.

I decided that it wasn't fair that he was still fully clothed while i was half naked. I tugged at his top breaking the kiss to get his t-short off. He started to kiss my neck definitely leaving a mark. I tilted my head back allowing him more access to my neck.

Suddenly Theo and I were both completely naked and making out. "Are you sure?" Theo asked I just nodded "Yes" "Okay" and we started to make out again. Suddenly Theo pushed me onto my back onto his bed. He started to line himself up to my pussy and started to thrust in and out of me. Making me moan at the fact that he just hit my g-spot. As I was about to cum i felt Theo put his hand down in between us where he entered 2 fingers inside of me. "UGH THEO i'm gonna cum" I said as i cumed on his fingers and dick.

I decided that it was Theo's turn to come. He placed a condom on his penis and i decided it was my turn to be on top. I pushed Theo onto his back on the bed and started to enter him into my mouth and started to suck while i pumped the rest that i could not fit into my mouth i used my hands. He started to moan "I'm gonna cum" He said I decide to put him inside of my pussy for the second time.

I started bouncing and rolling and grinding my hips on his while he thrusted up into me as our hips meet in sync. After a few seconds we both came together at the same time.

END OF SMUT:

after we had our fun, Theo pulled me off of him and took his condom off and threw it in the bin while i Grabbed My top and my jeans and got redressed and So did Theo then we laid in his bed and chilled watching movies on Netflix before we decided to do more homework.

2 days later:

Theo and i have started to date since the First day we had sex. The truth is the sex is great with Theo but having by my side as my boyfriend is so much better.

Today Scott is having a pack meeting at home and I have to go even though i don't want to be near Liam or Hayden right now. "Hey Scott" I said as I knocked on my brother's bedroom door. You see Scott has been really annoyed at me since i came home that day after sleeping with Theo and the truth is he hasn't said anything which has scared me.

"what Y/n?" Scott asked as he opened the door. "Look i know that you are mad at me about sleeping and now dating Theo but The truth is Scott i haven't been this happy since Liam cheated on me." I said.  "I don't care y/n I do not want you near Theo after everything he has done" He said "Scott Theo has proved himself on countless times and i get that for you its gonna take a while for you to trust him but you cant tell me who to love Scott" i said "I dont care Y/n you are not dating him".  

"Um scott" We turned around to see the whole pack including Liam and Hayden. my face went red from embarrassment, "You know what Scott Maybe you should be yelling at Liam for cheating on your sister instead of hurting her" I said as i pushed past the pack.

"Y/n" Stiles says I ignored him and walked out of the house slamming the door closed. I was angry and hurt that my own brother would be angry at me but has never yelled at the guy that hurt his sister.

I was walking into the woods and found this tree that i decided to climb on and sit in it and looked over at the view of the town and its lights.  When suddenly Theo was calling out to me and he was standing under the tree i was sitting in. "Theo up here" I yelled down and he looked up at me. before he started to climb up.

Lydia's POV:

"What happened Scott?" Stiles asked "nothing okay i just told her that i don't want her to be anywhere Theo okay" Scott replied "Oh really we know that much but if I mean I agree with her tho Scott i Mean the  3 people that are in the wrong Scott is Liam, Hayden  and Well You, and maybe instead of yelling at your little sister maybe try being there for her  I mean after all Liam did cheat on her and you haven't said a word" I said before grabbing my car keys and leaving.

"wait Lydia where are you going?" Stiles asked "to find Y/n" I replied before walking out but I was stopped when I saw Y/n and Theo walking up the drive way. "y/n are you okay?" I asked her She nodded and stopped walking when I looked behind me i Saw Liam, Hayden, Scott and Stiles, "I guess we should get this pack meeting over with it.

end of Lydia's pov:

The whole time Theo and Y/n were sitting in the living room of her own house she felt uncomfortable and not only that but she tried to avoid Scott and Liam.

The End

Hope you enjoyed it

Peace SW

[jealously-is-a-curse]

Hello there! You should answer all 100 TMI asks ☺

100 NSFW TMI Questions: 1. Are you a virgin? No 2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yeah everyone knows i have small titties. 3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? No 4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? 5. Do you swear under celibacy? Nah fam 6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? I lost it when I was 17, so in year 12. 7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope cause im not stupid 8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?: no thank god, and i hope i never do!! 9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? nah 10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? no where really, for me still it the kitchen table like ppl eat of this and i did that on there damn. 11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? outdoor sex, im over car sex. 12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 18 years old 13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yeah lol every guy my age 14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too): nah 15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too):dunno 16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?:ahah nah 17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate): clitoral 18. What is your bra/penis size?: small size bra 19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?:yeah i always walk around naked infront of my mum lmao 20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?:nothing 21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?: i like both, depending on the chemistry between me and the guy. 22. When was the last time you masturbated?: couple weeks ago 23. When was the last time you had sex?: 3 weeks ago 24. When was the last time you watched porn?: does tumblr porn count? if so everyday lol 25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?: first sex toy i brough was a mini bullet, its my fave. 26. Guys: Circumsized? yeah but really isnt an issue for me. 27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?: my neck 28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?: obvi my clit 29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?: no i actually dislike my breast/nipples being touched 30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?: right now i have pink ones with green leaves on them. 31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?: yeah, whatelse is snapchat for? :))) 32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?Did it include sexual actions? No, no no. 33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? Nope 34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?:nope 35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?: literally couple nights ago. 36. Which wet dream was your favorite?: I dont think i have any faves cause i dont rememeber them all haha 37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?: maybe, but im scared it would wreck the friendship. 38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Oh too many to name. 39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah 40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?: Ive had the opportunity to but i have bad skin conditions so i avoid it haha 41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?: id say reverse cow girl 42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?: yes 43. Are you into any BDSM?: havent really tried it out but would love too. 44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?: hmm this answer is the same as question 37 45. Turn on's?: guys who eat pussy 46. Turn off's?: guys who dont eat pussy 47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?: nah 48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?: yeah, i mean who hasnt. 49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?: not to sure 50. Do you like dirty talk?: yeah I do, but i hate returning it back haha 51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?: quite as i live at home and all the bedrooms are close. 52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?: nope 53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?: guy was eating me out nek min he got a blood nose during it haha so awks 54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?: hilarious sex story is guys who last 5 mins 55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?: tumblr porn 56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome): oh in year 12 the boys made me watch black guy with asian girl LOL 57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?: tumblr porn 58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?: oh tv shows about girls who go into the porn industry aged 18 and cry over it haha 59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older?Younger? How much younger?: yes yes my year 7 high school teacher, who is probs in his early 30s now, now probs 8 or so years older 60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?: i dont have a fave one, id like to explore new ones 61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?: no but i stop seeing guys right away if i dont like the sex with them. 62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?: no, im only 21 dont need too haha 63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?: nah wouldnt do it for a tumblr follower 64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?: haha nah i keep that to myself. 65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?: yes 66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?nah 67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?: yup 68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?: only couple years ago 69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way): yeah i can only achieve orgasm with playing with my clit or sometimes getting eaten out. 70. Favorite type of oral?: sucking dick? 71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?: none yet 72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?: no 73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?: vaginal 74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?: clitoral 75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?: both 76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?: no 77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?no 78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?yeah and nah dont even remember his name 79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?: yes i have and no because feelings get involved. 80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?: yeah all the time i dont have a boyf 81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?: n/a 82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?: no and i hope it dont! 83. Birth control or condoms?: both 84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?: yes 85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?: haha yeah my bestfriend knows 86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?: yeah 87. Do you have any STDs?: no and dont plan on getting any 88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?: no 89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?: i dont even know what that means x 90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?: swallow, i dont like giving head but i do it anyways hahah 91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?: no but yeah i reject sex sometimes 92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? haha yeah 93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?: no, only kissed a few girls, tho i would like to some day try it out. 94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?no not at all. was scary lol 95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? no 96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?: yeah my bestfriend, few of my friends and my mum aahah 97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?: i wish i had a lover 98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? n/a 99. Do you like masturbation?: yes 100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? : no sorry xxx

[birdistheword1997]

GOT Thoughts: Season Finale

Sorry I didn't post this last night, I wasn't able to watch it until now but here it is!!!

·      Okay the previews are just starting and I’m already flipping out

·      GREY WORM!!!!!!!!!

·      …This music tho…

·      Bronn is like we are so screwed

·      “not without a cock you don’t”

·      YAAASSS the dorthraki

·      Now where is my Queen…

·      They have like 3 boats against 1000

·      JOOOONNNN

·      Hahaha the hound always needing to piss them off

·      Fucking Cersie

·      HERE WE GOOO

·      Tyrion and Bronn!!

·      Tyrion and Podrick!!

·      Brienne and the Hound!!!

·      Brienne and the Hound talking about Arya :)

·      They sound like her adoptive parents

·      Yooo Bronn…Cersie hates you

·      I feel like that guard is going to open it…and fuck everything up

·      Where the hell is Daenerys tho…

·      I bet she’s going to be hella extra and fly in on Drogon

·      Hahah I love the Hound

·      Fucking Cersie *insert middle finger*

·      Jamie and Brienne tho

·      Ugh too many enemies in one place…

·      The Hound looking at his brother like WTF

·      As they all just sit their glaring at one another

·      I FUCKING CALLED IT hasijhsifhdsufha

·      God damn I love her

·      I think Cersie is just now realizing that she truly can’t beat the dragons

·      And cue the awkwardness

·      I LOVE THIS

·      Fucking Euron…

·      Jamie shaking his head…

·      Euron needs to shut the fuck up

·      Jamie sticking up for his baby brother

·      While Cersie is just annoyed

·      YAASS Jon

·      Jon is like I’ll fuck you up bitch

·      Is it even in there???

·      EVERYONE IS LIKE WTF IS THAT

·      Cersie actually looks afraid…good *smiles evilly*

·      Hahaha

·      I love this….

·      “There is only one war that matters. The great war.”

·      Jamie is like fuuuccckk

·      Euron is like F that I’m out

·      Winter will never be over if they don’t stop the army of the dead

·      The only time I will like Cersie

·      Jon is just breathing a sigh of relief haha

·      Cause she knows Jon will fuck some shit uuuuppp

·      Yooo but they should send Arya to kill Cersie

·      Daenerys falling for him just a little bit more…

·      Aaaannnndddd me liking Cersie is gone

·      Brienne is shaken

·      Yoooo Brienne “Fuck Loyalty”

·      Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

·      Jon feels soooo guilty

·      I bet Tyrion is going to trade his life to get Cersie to help them

·      Hahaha that height difference tho…

·      I love Tyrion

·      “I suppose we should say goodbye one idiot to another”

·      This bitch better not kill Tyrion!

·      Why is her room so dark?

·      UGH I HAAATTTEEE HER

·      I think she’s having flashbacks of when she had to walk through the street naked

·      Tyrion why are you pushing her to kill you!?

·      Maybe…she doesn’t actually want to kill him…???

·      Hahaha of course he’d need a drink after that…

·      Tyrion this is not the time to get drunk…

·      And now he realizes that she’s pregnant

·      Called it.

·      Is that a wishing bone???

·      Ummmm…. You locked yours up too…

·      Oh no it’s a jaw…

·      Are they going to kiss?

·      Hahaha Jon (about the witch)

·      …now kiss…

·      “We’re fucked.”

·      I think he convinced her….

·      Those are some creepy ass knights tho…

·      Fucking Baelish

·      Sansa don’t listen to him!!!!!

·      Sansa is like she had faces in her bag!!!

·      Here we go…Baelish is turning Sansa against Arya

·      UGH I HATE HIM

·      SANSA DON’T LISTEN!!!!

·      FUCK!

·      Or they could just both just fly to Winterfell…

·      …or not

·      I think Theon is going to go after Euron to save his sister

·      “He’s a part of you…just like he’s a part of me.”

·      “So why are you still talking to me”

·      Called it!!!

·      Here we go…

·      “She’s your sister and you left her to die”

·      Kick his ass Theon!!

·      …or not…

·      I bet him keep getting up…inspires them all to go after his sister…

·      Hahaha the guy keeps kneeing him but theirs nothing there

·      Oh my god I am laughing so hard

·      Probably the only time Theon will be happy not to have a penis

·      But Yaaasss Theon is finally winning!!!!

·      YAAAASSSSS

·      Bran needs to tell them what’s going on already…

·      Arya is like WTF…

·      Fucking Baelish and his stupid fucking smirk

·      UGH I HATE THIS

·      BRAN FUCKING TELL THEM!!!!!!

·      Oh thANK GOD!

·      HAHAHAHAHA I AM LOVING THIS PLOT TWIST!!!!

·      THIS IS AMAXZING

·      KICK HIS ASS ARYA!!!!!!

·      “Which charges confuse you?”

·      Oh shit…I am loving this!!!!

·      Cant talk your way out of this Baelish!!!!

·      YAASSS BRAN!!!!

·      Stark siblings uniting to kill the one who destroyed their family

·      OH MY GOD I CAN’T!!!!

·      I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

·      Arya getting ready to fuck him UP!!!

·      OUT OF MOVES BAELISH

·      YAAASSS ARYA!!!!!

·      I…I cant I am just so happy right now that this Fucker is finally dead!!!

·      CERSIE IS BACKING OUT

·      ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!

·      I REALLY HATE HER!!!!

·      LISTEN TO JAMIE!!!

·      Now that Baelish is gone Cersie has been moved to #1 on my kill list

·      Jamie is definitely starting to turn against her…

·      She is truly fuckING CRAZY!!!!!!!

·      WTF is the golden company!?

·      THIS IS FUCKING INSANE

·      JAMIE IS 100% DONE WITH HER SHIT

·      SHE IS FUCKING CRAZY AND NEEDS TO DIE

·      Is Cersie going to kill him?

·      Are you fucking serious!?

·      Oh thank god…

·      Way to go Cersie you just pushed away the last of your family…

·      So they’re close to king’s landing???

·      I want them to attack King’s landing first

·      Even though I know its not going to happen… :(

·      Bran and Sam!!!

·      Sam is like…okay…

·      Sam is like WTF?

·      I can’t wait for him to find out what Daenerys did to his family

·      YAASSSS BRAN!!!

·      Sam is like whaaaaattt?

·      AAAAHHHHH So SAM WAS LISTENING TO GILLY!!!

·      YOOOOOOO HERE. WE. GO.

·      Are they going to hook up?

·      And then Jon is going to find out and its going to be hella awkward.

·      Definetly going to hook up…

·      Tyrion creepin in the halls

·      AAAAHHH His is name is Aegon!

·      Oh god when Jon finds out its going to so Funny!!!

·      So not only is he Daenerys nephew he is only the heir

·      But I don’t think Jon will want the throne

·      I bet Daenerys gets pregnant…

·      Finally, some Stark sister bonding without fighting!!!

·      “I believe that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”

·      “Your still very strange and annoying”

·      “The lone wolf dies but the pack survives”

·      HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!

·      Tormund!

·      Here they come!!!

·      …and then comes the dragon…

·      Called it.

·      Tormund is like fuck we are screwed

·      I like how it flames are blue

·      Yeah you better run you can’t fucking fight that

·      Aaannnnddd the wall is gone…

·      I hope Tormind is still alive…

·      HERE WE GOOOO…..

[nycserialdater]

Zach

Zach seemed promising. 6’4, hazel eyes, curly brown hair. Such a cutie. We had matched a few times on bumble and this time we finally made a connection and went out for drinks. We met at a bar in soho. Super trendy spot. It was going really well. We had a lot in common and there was a lot of sparks flying. An hour and a half into the date we started making out. 👌🏼Goooood kisser. He was being so cute and affectionate. I was definitely into him. I wish it ended there but it didn’t. Here’s where things get a little odd -but I did it so I guess I’m partially to blame.

After about 45 mins of making out -he told me to go into the bathroom, take off my panties and leave them there for him. I was a little drunk, a little turned on- so I did it. He then went into the restroom when I sat back down at the table. He texted me from the restroom and said he had my panties around his cock. Honestly. At the time I was into it. We make out some more at the bar then decided to have him back to my place. Except one more thing at the bar- he put his card down for a tab. He asked to close out so I offered to split since I’m polite. He said sure. And I was surprised so I just said... really? And he was like oh well why don’t you just get the Uber to yours and we’ll call it even. Look I’m a feminist but that doesn’t mean I don’t like being treated like a queen. I just thought it was odd that he even considered splitting.

Back at my place things escalate - he was super dominant and I was into it. He definitely had some odd requests tho. He took his pants off and my panties were still around his penis. That’s not odd right? It WAS odd when he got naked and then put my purple thong on. Yes. He literally put my thong on. I was in shock. My mouth was dropped open. I was so confused. My purple mesh thong was on him. In his butt. He was really into the dirty talk so I played along. I’m not a prude and I’ll truly try anything once but at the same time, I know what I like. Anyways - we’re hooking up and he asked me to say things like ‘I love America’ and ‘Make America Great Again’ while I came. I didn’t even know how to respond. Probably the strangest thing someone has asked me to do or say. Regardless of political views that’s fucking weird. If a dude told me to say- I love Bernie Sanders as I came I would still be like wtfffff. I kinda just mumbled a few things while I moaned and called it a day. When it was all over I started yawning and saying I was tired so he’d get the hint and leave. Thankfully he did. I really don’t know how I’m feeling because the first half was A+ and the second half was W+ for weird. I don’t think I’m going to accept an invitation for a second date. I truly don’t know if I should. What I do know is that my purple thong is now in the garbage.

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 4

I channeled En for about a week and was too lazy to quit playing Resident Evil and finish this liveblog buuuut better late than never, right?! I may only manage one of these a week but I just had a bunch of fanfic ideas (unrelated to watching the episode) so I figured I’d press onward and finish these. Mostly cuz I’m really interested in getting to season 2 because the Beppus are my favorite. But for now- IT’S THE EPISODE WHERE THEY GET BABYFIED! OMG CUTENESS ABOUND.

PS- I love the discussion that happened from my previous liveblog! Thank you @nardaviel, @angry-jewish-magical-girl (whom I cannot tag for some reason), @magiccatprincess and everyone else who contributed :3 ( @thatlittledandere I absolutely loved your flailing in your tags lol <3) Reactions make this a whole lot more fun for me- especially because the screencapping and formatting is so tedious. But anyway! ONWARD! I doubt this episode I’ll get that deep but WHO KNOWS.

OH HERE WE GO FEELS AND BACKSTORY

LOOK AT THE BABIES

Although why are they unsupervised in a field all alone as like elementary schoolers WTF WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS?

Cliche wish upon a star!

Srz tho their voices are SO CUTE- who did they get for the baby voices??? 

Look at how cute blushy baby Atchan is!

BUT I AM A CHILD ATCHAN SO LOGICAL YET SO MUCH SHADE

CUTE BABY KINCHAN AND HIS ‘JUST IN CASE’ WISH AND HIS BLUSHING

Seriously look at this smol child. I think when I first watched the series this was the scene where I was first like “AWWW” at any of the SC.

-aaaaaand cut off

“Don’t mind me I’m just being broody and emo in the office with the lights out looking at the stars while I reminisce about my first love childhood friend who ditched me to go eat fucking curry with a pleb NBD I’M FINE”

That Arima Sass(tm) I didn’t remember him being so... memorable with his lines until this rewatch lol (oops I feel bad for ignoring him the first time around he’s so cute)

"Arima I s2g if you say one more word I will put snails on everything you own”

I didn’t cap this but in hindsight of the end of the season, his wish going from friendship to world domination is a perfect place for the “well that escalated quickly” meme…

Tickling Wombat looks so fun lol

I think I had a point about the ‘stink’ debate but I have since forgotten it so here have some silly screencaps of Wombat freaking out and Yumoto being adorable

QUICK SOMEONE WHO’S NEVER WATCHED BOUEIBU EXPLAIN WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE.

I mostly just love their faces lololololol I laughed for like 5 minutes after taking this

Side note- Poor Wombat- he’s a sentient creature that gets treated like a pet/plaything/child- no wonder he runs away from Yumoto every chance he gets

THE BIRTH OF WOM-SAN

More screencaps with no explanation other than I laughed harder than I should at them. THE EYES KIND OF REMIND ME OF HAYAO MIYAZAKI WHY?

Dads that are 12,000% done with this shit

En’s views on childishness/high school students in this scene is kind of telling- he seems overly image-conscious, yet he doesn’t want to be seen as old. Maybe Atsushi’s worrying is rubbing off on him?

Yumoto did you forget that you fight monsters on a weekly basis??? What ELSE is the definition of Superhero???

I wonder how they feel looking at basically a NAKED DEAD BODY all the time. It’s probably not fu- WAIT.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

BUT WHEN I TOOK THIS SCREENCAP I CAME TO THE HORRIFYING REALIZATION THAT TAWARAYAMA-SENSI LOOKS JUST LIKE MY DAD

MY DAD USED TO BE A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER AND HAS GRAY POOFY HAIR AND A MUSTACHE AND NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT

Cupkayke.exe has stopped working

anyway

WHAT IS IT WITH THE SIDE CHARACTERS AND FREAKY EYES IN THIS SHOW

Io all about that money. Why do I find this exchange hilarious?

WAS THAT TEASING

OMG YUMOTO AND HIS SENPAIS THIS IS ADORABLE

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

Also I JUST NOTICED that Ryuu and Io’s washing supplies are color coded by their hair/battle lover outfits omg

Who was it who had that headcanon that their battle lover outfits were chosen because of their favorite colors?

Lololol well Ryuu is the youngest other than Yumoto, isn’t he?

En does have a point

But Ryuu’s views on his looks here are interesting- he knows he’s stereotypically ‘young’ looking, so he makes do with what he has and turns up the charm to 100

I mean... he’s good at it, too. Look at that last screencap.

Also Yumoto in that screencap is splashing water through his hands LOL EVEN IN THE BACKGROUND HE’S ENFORCING THE CHILDISH NARRATIVE

…what was the point of Yumoto interrupting there?

Did I miss a joke?

More on En’s view of age/maturity and Yumoto blowing bubbles like a child in the background

I can definitely see where Yumoto would rub some people the wrong way here- his childishness is being played too heavy-handedly to just be for laughs

But it’s necessary Boueibu format foreshadowing

Ryuu looking so cool, so casual washing his feet

HOW CHILD HOW

Also I definitely noticed the pink bath supplies in this screencap

Senior must not be a common term for students in Japanese

Lololol Ryuu so cheeky

I feel like this line would get localized into something really cheesy or lame like “old man” when dubbed into English

There we have it.

ALSO BUTTS

En’s age crisis- again, he has a desire not to be seen as immature and is quick to call out childish behavior in others, but the moment his attention is brought to how he might be percieved as ‘old’, he obsesses on the negative aspects of it instead of the positive- which he was stressing as the better option only moments before.

This is really interesting but I don’t quite know what to make of it. If he doesn’t want to be seen as childish, but doesn’t want to be seen as old, what does he want to be seen as? Simply exactly his age? Boy, En, I have news for you... unless you’re a genetic miracle, no one looks exactly their age.

Seriously I’m twenty-fucking-five and I STILL get carded everywhere because I look 18 T_____T

YUMOTO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE BALD

GLAMOR SHOTS TIME

STARTING WITH RYUU’S ASS

I KNOW EVERYBODY AND THEIR BROTHER HAS TAKEN THIS SCREENCAP BUT DAMMIT JUST LET ME-

...bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt~

Yumoto your laugh is creepy

Again Io being sexy

En you aren’t fooling anyone, Atsushi’s using his glamor shot to worry about you- even tho my screencap apparently missed the caption

And then they keep splashing like kids lol

What a nickname

I’ve noticed the SC almost always speaks in a certain order- Arima, Akoya, Kinshirou

Is this on purpose or just arbitrary?

…morning cuddles…

Gora: “...dafuq kind of club is this defense club???”

AND DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING THE LAST EPISODE YUMOTO IS NOT INTERESTED IN PICKING UP GIRLS

This definitely supports the ‘cumpulsory heterosexuality’ theory, however; Yumoto last episode was talking about girls in a polite, “this is what I’m supposed to do” kind of way. This episode, he must feel freer with his feelings that he can admit that he’s not interested to his senpais.

Or maybe cuddling Wombat is just WAY more fun than all of those things lol

EN STOP IT YOU ARE NOT OLD-

OH. It’s a vanity thing, is it?

Wow Atsushi talk about throwing shade

Srz is that any way to talk to your boyfriend???

I wish I knew what animes they were referencing - I took a bunch of caps here but they’re not really relevant I guess unless someone wants to tell me what they’re talking about

En basically called Atsushi an otaku ffft

WHY ARE YOU PETTING EN YUMOTO

HIS HAIR IS NOWHERE NEAR AS FLUFFY AS YOURS

Though En definitely looks cute when he’s being tickled... ok Yumoto carry on

….Ryuu what are you talking about approximately no one is fooled by your indifference

TICKLE FIGHT

This scene is adorable - THE BLUSHES

So many laughs

YUMOTO NOTICING THAT AND NOT HAVING ANY REACTION

Aww they’re all so smol

Also the rest of them, their eyes were kept proportionate to their bodies but LOOK AT EN

His eyes are like waaaaay bigger and innocent

Double AWWW

The nodding at Yumoto’s stupidity lolol

Tho Yumoto still manages to be adorable wtf look at his happy face

Your hair is VERY pink like why

BABY TRANSFORMATIONS AWWW

But seriously the ‘love making’ thing sounds SOOOO inappropriate coming out of smol Yumoto

Like when Wombat said it I cringed

If it weren’t for the gutter my mind would be homeless

THE BAGGY CLOTHES

Hi there, fourth wall

Omg Ryuu why are you so cute

SMOL POWERS

Tripping on the clothes or perhaps because of little legs

NOW IO IS TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS STAHHHHHHP

No seriously look at his face!

Though his pupils are two different sizes in this screencap lol

CHILD ENDANGERMENT DUDE

Atchan with more fourth wall breaking

And they figured out the enemy very quickly! They seem more observant as children than they are regularly

Okay, they say kindergarteners but they look like 3 year olds or babies

I CANNOT at Ryuu’s hair spikes getting smaller and less detailed

Also his face reminds me that his voice in this scene is hysterical

THE MODESTY LEAVES

ATSUSHI WHY IS YOUR BUTT IN THE AIR STOP THAT

En and the fourth wall for the third time

RYUU WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS

And you’d think image-conscious Atsushi would be the one most embarrassed about being naked babies in public but NO APPARENTLY IO IS SUPER SHY

Sad baby Io sounds so pathetic

And Ryuu hardly seems worried

Yumoto rolled a perception check and got a 20 like whoah

RYUU AND EN ARE SAVAGE AF 

SMOL NAKED BABIES ATTEMPTING TO LOOK BADASS- all except Io who just wants the fuck out of here lol

How are they even still able to fight?? Their powers were diminished earlier??? Is it because they realized it was an illusion?

CHUBBEH BABY BUTT

AAAAND NAKED IN PUBLIC

Did their clothes just vanish???

And Io’s STILL embarrassed.

Meanwhile Yumoto has his priorities straight I guess

Also WHY IS IT SUDDENLY NIGHTTIME WASN’T IT JUST MORNING CUDDLES TIME???

YOU’RE JUST WORRIED ABOUT THEM BEATING YOU I MEAN C’MON AT LEAST LAUGH AT THEIR NUDITY

OH IT’S NIGHT SO HE CAN LOOK AT THE STARS AND REMEMBER THINGS AGAIN THAT’S WHY IT ALL HAS TO COME FULL CIRCLE BECAUSE PLOT

Ryuu you have no tact sheesh

Atsushi is STILL throwing shade like a pro. He must take lessons from Arima the sass master.

And we end on Atsushi reminiscing about Kinshirou and their stargazing adventures but THIS BOTHERS ME BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT HE WISHED FOR YOU DIP. Context wise, it’s obvious Kinshirou told him. I mean, he might be meaning he’s since forgotten the wish (which would explain his falling out with Kinshirou in another dimension other than the curry thing) but showing that flashback in such detail and then having Atsushi remember it (or hinted that he remembers it) but without hinting that he knows what Kinshirou wished for is just kind of.... idk it bothers me. That line wasn’t 100% necessary, or perhaps it could have been something like “I don’t remember what he wished for”. Of course, for all I know he could have said that but crunchyroll could have translated it poorly idk.

Buuuut that’s the end! That was mostly just an enjoyable “aww” episode with not a lot of substance other than we discover that Kinshirou is dramatic AF, En is self conscious (perhaps even moreso than Atsushi, or possibly just vain) and Io is definitely embarrassed by public nudity. Hm. Maybe you guys have some more intelligent commentary.

I’m gonna shoot to get Ep 5 done in the next couple days (maybe hours... but this shit takes forever) because I want to finish compiling all this stuff so I can get to writing these plot bunnies that just bit me in the ass... buuuut I need research. Man... En the lazy is definitely my spirit animal OTL