#hidan x obito

[chojuuro]

obito's very normal, not weird, super standard summer vacation

ship: Hidan/Uchiha Obito rating: M (non-explicit sex) content: mermaid au! hidaobi for @fatummeum <3 for yet another installment of the malewife & girlboss gift exchange. i hope this is okay, friend! enjoy! words: 5,540 AO3 link here!

He washes up on the beach, and gods, he’s fucking sore.  Doesn’t matter that  the sun is shining, glittering gently off the lazy waves as they tickle the ends of his tail; doesn’t matter that the seagulls above call to him, or that he swears he can feel the fish at the edge of the water wondering just what the fuck he’s doing.  All Hidan knows is that he’s stuck beach-side when the last thing he remembers, he was just taking a nap and trying to blow off some steam.

Goddamn tides.  Fuck this hell.

Heaving a sigh, Hidan pushes himself up into a sitting position and surveys the area.  It’s, as expected, a beach – but it’s smaller than he’d expected initially on waking, pale sand with a single trail of footprints dotting the edge of the beach by a little retaining wall, leading to a little set of stairs and a ledge above.  A small expanse of perfectly manicured lawn sits just before a huge fuckoff house that may very well be the biggest one he’s ever seen on land.  

And, he realizes, it’s probably a private beach.

What the fuck.  In this economy?

“Oi!” 

Hidan turns on instinct to the voice and curses at himself as he does.  Up the shore comes running some kid who can’t be older than, like, 23 – and it’s a guess, really, because Hidan’s 23 looks a lot different than a normal 23.  

Comes with the whole merfolk territory, he supposes.

Still, Hidan doesn’t think he can be very old.  His swim trunks are an obnoxious pattern of black and red and white, and the tanktop he wears clings loosely to a damp frame as if he’d just climbed out of the ocean himself.  And it looks like that’s exactly what he’s done – wet hair, soaked trunks, the works.  

He approaches Hidan with zero hesitation and stops when he's a handful of feet away from him.

“Uh, can I help you?” the kid asks, crossing his arms over his chest.  And, okay, Hidan was right; he’s definitely no kid, but there’s no way he’s any older than his mid twenties.  He’s built thick, broad shoulders and a broad chest but somehow Hidan still thinks he looks so fucking wimpy.  And he grins, glancing over the boy’s form once again before looking back at his scarred up face.

“Baby, I’m beyond help.”

And somehow, this takes the kid by surprise.

“Get the fuck off my beach?”

And Hidan leaves with a hearty laugh, making sure to splash the guy as he goes.

—

He doesn’t stay gone for long, and by the fourth or fifth visit the kid – Obito, he learns on the second day, when the boy's name is called and he turns, furious that someone would just spill his name like that – stops telling him to get lost.

And it’s funny, Hidan thinks – all he’s got to do is show up and annoy the guy enough for him to let him stick around?  Which is, to be fair, exactly what he’d done with his group back home, not taking “go away” for an answer.  It works, and as they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

“Ay!” Hidan calls, popping out of the ocean on a particularly warm day, situated nicely on a rock a handful of tail lengths from the shore.  The waves are quiet today but the gulls still scream, and both Hidan and Obito suppose there’s not much surprise there.  The surprise, for Obito, lies in the sudden assault on his ears and he nearly jumps out of his skin, his back to the ocean as he’s trudging back up the beach.

He turns to Hidan with a little glare, and Hidan returns the sentiment to a proper 180 degrees, grinning as brightly as the sun shines.

“A little warning next time?” Obito asks, and Hidan waves his hand flippantly.  Dismissively.  Prick.

“This is your beach?”

Obito stops, hesitates and then starts walking back towards the water line.  He rests his hands on his hips when he’s ankle-deep in the water and watches Hidan lounging across his chosen rock, arms folded with his chin resting on the top one lazily.  They watch each other for a long moment, maybe to see who breaks first.  And per usual, the first to break isn’t Hidan, master of exasperating others and king of fuck mountain. 

“What?”

“That first day I washed up,” he says, and he adjusts himself so he’s sitting on the rock, the coal-grey fins of his tail falling lazily into the water.  “You told me to get off your beach.  It's yours?"

“Oh,” is all Obito says.  He runs a hand through his hair and Hidan doesn’t take his eyes off him, lazy little grin firmly in place where it belongs.  “It’s my grandpa’s beach, actually.”

Hidan barks out a laugh.  “Your grandpa’s beach!  Fuckin’ hell, so you’re a rich kid, eh?  Trust fund baby?”

His laughing doesn’t subside when Obito flushes to his ears, nor does it when Obito gets even more flustered when Hidan won’t stop laughing.  Whether the laughter is genuine or put on for the sake of getting under Obito’s skin is lost to them both.  

“Hardly!” Obito sputters, and Hidan thinks he might trip if he keeps flailing like that.  Fall into the water, maybe, need saving – he brushes the thought to the side and decides to keep it for when he may need to really, especially bother the kid.  “I’m not about to yell across the ocean my whole damn family history.  You can come here if you want it.”

Fuck yes.

Fuck yes.

Invitation received.

(Not that not getting an invitation would ever stop him, but if Hidan’s planning on sticking around for reasons unknown to him, he'd rather be doing so while welcomed and not risk, like, a harpoon through the gills or something.)

Hidan pushes himself off the rock and into the water, swimming easily towards the shore and pulling himself onto the sand when he reaches it.  Sand sticks to his skin as he crawls up onto the beach but it’s not exactly the strangest or most uncomfortable thing he’s ever felt stuck to him, and the scraping against a still-healing scar isn’t exactly comfortable.  But goddamn if he’ll let a little bit of sand stop him from getting the story on a guy he barely knows.

Obito would love the clownfish, Hidan thinks.  Load of gossips, they are.

“So?” Hidan prompts, patting the sand beside him as he looks up at – his host, he supposes, if it’s his family’s beach.  “I want it, and I’m here.”

Obito rolls his eyes but complies, plops himself down on the sand beside Hidan and immediately buries his splayed fingers in the sand at his sides.  Hidan watches with curiosity, but he leaves him to it; makes sure to make a note, though, about how fuckin’ weird humans are.

“So Madara’s – my grandpa, the guy who owns the property?  He’s not, like, my grandpa by blood.  My grandma married him like a decade back.  But it was always, like, I’d have to earn my keep n’ shit, y’know?”  Obito doesn’t meet Hidan’s gaze as he speaks, watching out over the ocean at a pair of dolphins jumping over the gentle waves by the horizon.  He wonders, idly, if Hidan knows them – and shakes the thought immediately.  What, just because they’re both from the ocean, they have to know each other?  Stupid.

“And your parents?”

The question takes Obito by surprise more than anything.  Hidan isn’t looking at him either, reclined back on the sand with his eyes shut and an arm draped over them to keep the extra sunlight out.  Obito takes a brief glance at him before looking out over the ocean again, and his voice is soft as he answers.

“Died before I could walk.”

“Oh,” Hidan says, peeking out  from under his arm.  “Shit.  That’s rough.”

“Yeah.”

They’re quiet for a long time after this.  Soaking in each other’s company, maybe, or letting the sudden weight of the conversation loom over them as some kind of a reminder that things aren’t always that easy.  

Obito sits contentedly with his hands buried in the sand and the waves licking at his toes, and with a semi-aquatic human laying out next to him, soaking up the sun.  He wonders, idly, if sunbathing is a common interest like he sees in the movies – if after spending so long in the cold ocean, merfolk like getting to lay out in the sun, tail swishing lazily in the water while they doze.

He wonders if that’s why Hidan’s been so drawn to this beach in particular, with the direct sunlight and the overall quietness, the separation from other life.  He wonders if the warm coastal breeze feels nice against the scales of his tail when he lets it out of the water long enough, and he wonders if the sand is coarse against his body compared to the softer sand at the ocean floor.

Vaguely, Obito wonders what Hidan’s undersea life is like, and he wonders if coming up here to bug some land owner's grandson is something of a respite.

—

“Wanna see something cool?” Hidan asks when he sees Obito finally come down the little staircase to the beach a handful of days later, and as usual, he doesn’t wait for an answer.  He’s been waiting weeks for this, dammit, and Obito had said he’d be here over an hour ago.

He crawls his way up the beach on his elbows, and he waits.  Obito watches him with wide-eyed curiosity – which quickly turns to impatience, and then general irritation because-

“Okay?”  Obito prompts, raising his eyebrows.  “So what am I waiting for?”

Hidan nearly breaks a blood vessel.  “Hold on, I ain’t dry yet!”

…

Okay?

So Obito waits, crossing his arms over his chest with his elbows resting against his knees.  They make small conversation, but on Obito’s side it’s pretty half-hearted.  He’s a little preoccupied, thank you very much.

Okay, so mermaids do exist.  Cool, cool – not that he necessarily doubted it, with a werewolf best friend and a family history of dragon taming, but hearing stories and actually seeing one is a whole different ordeal.  Grandpa Mads had told him stories of the dryad he’d known back in the day, and the siren from Uzushio that he married, but he’d thought they pretty much kept to the oceans.  

Maybe they do, and maybe Hidan is just a special flavor of stupid, glutton for punishment, crazy… truly, Obito thinks, the possibilities are endless.

He’s not even really sure exactly what it is that’s keeping him here, letting Hidan freeload on the shores of his grandfather’s beach.  He enjoys the company, he supposes; it’s pretty isolated here, and has been since he was little.  Grandpa’s always been more on the private side, so even in Obito’s youth friends weren’t necessarily welcome to spend a long time visiting, which sucked royally for Obito, being so far out from his university town.

Maybe, he thinks, that’s why he’s less irritated at the intruder than he should be.

Obito wonders, idly while he waits, if Hidan had just – waltzed up to him on a normal day, like a normal guy, if the situation would be the same.  Would he even entertain the idea of keeping him around?  Hidan, who’s brash, annoying, irritating – kind of makes him want to shove his head through a wall, but in a good way.  He doesn’t know how that’s in a good way, but it just is.

And Obito – hey, wait, what the hell?

Obito swears, he swears he blinks and misses it completely.  How, he’s unsure; but he stares on with unmasked awe when a full man stands in front of him, legs and all.  And it would be a marvelous sight, Obito thinks, if he didn’t have sand stuck to his ass or his knees weren’t bright red from kneeling in sun-hot sand.  Still, he eyes Hidan up and down, eyes the musculature and the gently tanned skin as Hidan stands proudly, hands on his hips.

He hopes his voice sounds about as deadpan as he feels on the inside.

“You’re naked.”

“You’re welcome.”

—

“Quick question,” Obito says, once the shock has settled and Hidan’s dick has been put away, covered with a spare pair of Obito’s swim trunks.  They sit perched on the retaining wall at the edge of the beach, legs dangling above the sand as they watch the sun drift gently into the edge of the ocean.  “What the fuck is going on?”

It’s barely posed as a question, which makes Hidan laugh harder.

“Whadda you mean, what the fuck is going on?  What’s it look like?”

Obito stops for a moment, furrows his brows a little as he considers.  And, dammit, he sounds crazy as he goes over everything in his mind.  Guy who washes up on the beach – guy who is very hot, but also supremely irritating.  Guy who has a tail.  But also, guy who has legs?  Obito looks back to Hidan, something between confusion, exacerbation, and maybe a touch of amusement.

“So you’re a mermaid.”

“Merman, thank you.”

“But you can grow legs–”

“I don’t grow them, they’re already there.”  A pause, from both sides, and Hidan sighs.  “My tail’s my two legs basically fused, right?  So I dry off and magic happens and then I have legs.  It’s not that complicated.”

“Hey, uh–”

“Yeah?”

“What the fuck?”

Hidan laughs from a place deep in his belly, and Obito tries – and fails, royally – to ignore the burning in his cheeks and ears as he does.

“I thought we were common knowledge to youse guys?  No?”

And he’s – surprised, it seems.  Genuinely and completely, and there’s a small part of Obito that almost wants to kick himself for sounding so put out.  “Well, I mean – kind of.  Mermaids–”

“Mermen, thank you.”

“Mermen just aren’t usually ones we see too often.  For, yknow,” he nods to Hidan’s lower half, “obvious reasons.”

Hidan hums and leans back with his hands firmly planted in the grass.  “Fair enough,” he says.  “You don’t get a lot of visitors, then?”

“Nah.  Merfolk or otherwise.”

Hidan frowns and glances at the back of Obito’s head, watching him intently – but Obito doesn’t continue, instead looking down at his hands in his lap and kicking his legs idly.  “Why’re you hanging around this beach, anyway?” he asks, and he doesn’t look up but Hidan can see the gentle flush to Obito’s cheeks from his profile, and he hopes it isn’t the start of a sunburn.  “You could be anywhere right now.”

“Dunno,” Hidan answers finally.  He pauses and then sighs, hangs his head a little as he leans forward with his arms resting on his thigh.  “Hurt my fuckin’ tail during a spar with some bastard from my pod, this old bitch who won’t fuckin’ die no matter how hard you hit him, right?  Fucker, like, shanked me with – I don’t even know, man.”

“But you can still swim,” Obito points out, almost immediately.  Hidan rolls his eyes and runs a hand absently over the healing scar on his thigh.

“Yeah, not long distances, though.  Hurts.  Kinda stuck here.”

“Great.”

And despite the sound of Obito’s voice – the deadpan, dry delivery – he’s glad, almost.  Glad, because he enjoys the asshole’s company, loathe as he is to admit it, even to himself.  Glad, because he’s happy to have a – friend, someone to chat with and spend time with while stuck on Grandpa Prison Island.  Glad, because he’s fucking lonely for eight weeks out of the year and Hidan’s kept it entertaining, fun even these past handful of days, and Obito doesn’t have to rely on his grandpa, who doesn’t believe in television or the internet or, like, fun.

Almost, because what the fuck.

Obito can’t help to shake the little feeling of – guilt? – that he feels, being glad Hidan’s stuck around this dinky little beach with him.  Bastard got stabbed, and by something that, from Obito’s understanding, wasn’t even a blade or anything.  And in the saltwater, too, now that he thinks about it – he shivers a little at the thought, at the phantom feeling of stinging, of literal salt in the wound.

But Hidan seems to be taking it in stride, too, so maybe he shouldn’t feel so bad.

"So if it's your grandpa's place, what're you doing here?  You live here?"

"It’s kinda complicated," Obito says, which really, is his catchall excuse for when he doesn’t think the other person actually cares.  In the least self deprecating way possible, why would he?  Hidan’s just here until he heals enough to get outta dodge, right?

“I’ve got time,” Hidan says, sounding genuine, for once.

Oh.

…Well.

Obito interlocks his fingers and stretches his arms high above his head before flopping backwards against the grass, eyes closed and face drinking up the afternoon sunshine.  He can feel Hidan’s eyes on him and becomes suddenly very aware of his own presence – feels heavy, feels present.  Feels a little fluttering in his stomach.

But he’s not nervous.  Not really.

(He is, but not because he’s being watched.  He doesn’t understand why, so he shakes the thought and pretends the feeling isn’t there.)

“I stay here during the summer,” Obito says.  “I’m in university full time but, like, can’t afford my own place.  ‘Cause, y’know, uni student–”

“I don’t, but sure.”

“Color yourself lucky, bastard.”  He elbows Hidan in the side before he really thinks about it, and doesn’t let himself think about it for too long.  He continues instead, watching a pair of seagulls in the distance.  “Anyway, guess the point is, I come here on the summers and during vacations.”

“So it’s not a long or complicated story at all,” Hidan says.  It’s all laid out on the table and, really, it isn’t much.

“Fuck off.”

Despite this, their conversation remains lighthearted and easy – talks about family, of friends, of the weird, fucked up undersea life that Hidan leads.  Apparently, the bastard’s used to walking around on land – does it more than he does swim, these days, he says.  

“Can’t be too tough,” Obito comments in light of the new information.  “Just gotta worry about, what, rain and whenever you make a girl’s pussy wet?”

Hidan grins wide, proud and fucking smug, the bastard.  “Pretty much.”

“So just the rain then.”

“Bitch–!”

Hidan tackles him on instinct, shoves Obito to the sandy grown below them and realizes all too late that, oh, he’s on top of him, an arm on either side of Obito’s head caging him in and a knee on either side of his hips.  He hovers above, mouth parted in some kind of indeterminate curiosity as his eyes scan over Obito’s face, his lips, his stupid fucking hair, his lips–

They watch each other like this for what feels like a long time, but really could have just been a handful of seconds.  Neither know, neither care; Hidan mutters a vague little apology and shoves himself back up, leans back against the retaining wall they sat upon previously, and they both try and resume as if that didn’t just fucking happen.

They chat until the sun goes down, until Obito’s stomach begins to rumble and until Hidan physically cannot stand being dry any longer.

And if there’s flirting there, well.  Neither party is any the wiser.

—

It’s late in the evening a handful of days later when Obito finally escapes family dinner, narrowly avoiding getting roped into a game of cribbage with his grandpa.  

“Got some work to do,” he tells old Grandpa Mads.  “Summer uni stuff.”

And it’s a lie.  It’s a bold-faced lie, and he’s owning it.

He’s sent off with a vague waving of his grandpa’s hand and a forced promise to play something with him later, and Obito really can’t say no to that because, like, it’s his grandpa.  He’s only got so much time left.

(Obito thinks Madara will outlive everybody in the damn family, including the next few generations.  Old bastard.  He’s lying about his age, he’s gotta be – says he’s in his seventies but Obito swears he’s a couple hundred years old, and has sworn this since he was young.)

(He’s not sure if that’s a joke anymore – or if it even started out as one.)

Obito makes his way to the top of the stairs, pushes his door open with a little sigh and flops himself down on the bed.  

He loves his grandpa, he reminds himself.  He really does.  But fuck, hours on end with the bastard can get exhausting.  He’s heard every story and entertained every shenanigan by this point, and if he hasn’t, he’s still waiting to see what ol’ gramps is going to pull out next.

Maybe next time he’s here gramps’ll have Hashirama over.  That’ll be entertaining, at least.  Make up for the lack of fucking cell service around here.

He tries for a little too long to try and get some kind of cell reception, and when he gives up – something he should have done a long time ago, really – Obito thinks he deserves a bath.  And he does, dammit; he’s put up with his stuffy, stupid old man for long enough.  His neck kills.

Obito sits up with a big sigh and tosses his phone back onto his bed, stretches as he stands and gathers up a fresh pair of boxers and an old tanktop, trudges into his bathroom, and is greeted by a fish sitting in his tub, happily and without a care in the world.

…Sorry, what?

Obito stands, dumbfounded, for a long, long moment.

“How the hell did you get in here?” 

Hidan looks up from the magazine in his hands, perched precariously on the edge of the bathtub he’s spilling out of.  The floor is completely wet, very obviously from overflow from the tub and Obito’s favorite candle is lit on the countertop.  Judging by how low the wax is melted, it’s been lit for a while.  Why the fuck didn’t he smell it?

“Balcony,” is all Hidan says before going back to his magazine.  Like it’s obvious.  Like he’s supposed to be here.

Obito might kill him.

—

Hidan emerges a while later, a towel tied loosely around his waist and the same stupid, sly grin on his face.  Obito takes special notice to his legs and wonders just how long he was sitting, naked, taking up precious bathroom space when Obito could have taken a bath himself, one that he desperately needs, and even more desperately deserves for having to put up with this shit.

“Fucker,” Obito greets.  And Hidan just throws him the same grin as he always does, plops down beside him on the bed and nudges Obito with his elbow.  

“Aw, c’mon, I’m not that unpleasant to be around, am I?”

Obito rolls his eyes.  “You’re a prick, y’know that?”

“What’d I do?”  And Hidan sounds – genuinely confused, actually a little concerned, but Obito is very much not in the fucking mood.

“You can’t just break into my house, asswipe!  I live here!”

“What, rich kid doesn’t wanna share?”

Regardless of if you ask him now or if you ask him in a week’s time, Obito won’t be able to tell you exactly how he ends up with his mouth on Hidan’s, or with Hidan’s hand shoved up his shirt, his hand warm against Obito’s chest and his thumb firm against his nipple.  He won’t be able to tell you why he feels so fucking on fire, like he’s been burning and burning and just needs a little relief, needs to be put out.  He won’t be able to tell you how he ends up with Hidan’s hand palming at his crotch – how he ends up with his knees to his chest, asking, utterly begging for some fucking release.  

Bottom line is, he’s thirsty – he’s so fucking thirsty, and Hidan is like a spring fountain, cool and powerful and plentiful and exactly what Obito needs.  

“You’re – gods,” Hidan swears, grabbing a handful of Obito’s ass.  And Obito thinks he may bruise come morning, and he welcomes it – fully embraces the thought, because he wants this, so fucking bad.  Wants it to linger on his skin and his soul for as long as possible.  “So fucking cute.”

Obito sputters.  The flush shoots to his ears and he inhales sharply through his nose, reaches a hand up and grabs a fistful of silver hair, yanks Hidan’s head down and smashes their lips together.  

“Shut up,” he growls against Hidan’s lips, biting at him, feeling the bastard grin just widen and hook his arms under each of Obito’s knees, nearly folding him in half.

“Make me.”

Obito doesn’t think he can.

He grips the bedsheets with a tight fist as Hidan works him, works them both at the same time – both dicks in one hand, the other bracing himself against the bed to keep him above Obito, where he belongs.  He grinds against his ass, makes a little noise in his throat when his dick presses up against Obito’s.

Hidan can’t say he’d intended on fucking this guy, really.  He thought he’d be here for a few days while he healed up, maybe a week or two if he found something fun, someone to annoy.  And, like, he did – but dammit, he found a little more than just something to play with.  He’d expected to find someone on this island, the one with the big fuckoff house and the stupidly green lawn.  He’d expected downtime, lots of naps – a sunburn here and there, maybe.  And he’d gotten all those.  

To find himself cock-to-cock with some guy he met a handful of weeks ago, though?  That bit was a little unexpected, he’ll admit.

And Obito, meanwhile, can’t say he’d expected any of this.  He’d expected shitty cell reception and a lot of old people’s games, maybe a visit from one of his grandpa’s old war buddies.  

He is, really, pleasantly surprised with what he’s ended up with.

They grind together, pressing against one another like they can’t get enough of each other – and maybe they can’t, not really.  It’s as fiery as the sun burns hot on this island, unfettered want, desire, passion keeping their sweat-slicked bodies pressed together, and keeping them moaning each other’s names and swallowing each other’s moans.

Hidan comes like a tidal wave, full and heavy and all at once, over Obito’s stomach and chest and Obito is quick to follow, spilling out onto Hidan’s hand; and he laps it up like he’s starving, the asshole.

“Bitch,” Obito mutters under his breath as they untangle, allowing Obito to disappear to the bathroom to clean himself off from the spoils of the night.

They fall asleep eventually when the pillowtalk conversation comes to a natural lull, thoroughly spent and, overall, happy.

—

The late summer humidity lays like a thick blanket over the beachfront when Obito stirs awake the next morning, sticky and sweaty but contentedly tangled up in Hidan’s limbs.  The fan blows warm but fresh sea air from the open balcony doors, leaving a gentle hum in Obito’s ears as he lays back, stares at the ceiling above his bed for a long time.

Maybe he falls back asleep at some point, maybe it’s the summer heat that makes him feel like he’s lost a handful of hours in there.  He’s not sure.

He feels his bedmate stir a little while later, hair mussed from sleep and bright pink eyes hazy.  Obito turns his head to watch him, bites back the smile from his face as Hidan curls into him more, forehead pressed up against Obito’s shoulder.

“S’fuckin’ hot,” Hidan grumbles, and Obito barks out a laugh.  “Your gramps’s rich, why’s’n’t he spring for air conditioning?”

“He’s cheap.”

“He’s a bitch.”

They lay together for a long time, quiet for once as they enjoy each other’s company.  They cuddle where they can, but the skin-on-skin contact is a fucking nightmare; so much so that when Obito finally suggests bringing things out to the balcony, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Hidan jump up so fast in the handful of weeks that he’s known him.

Hidan escapes to the balcony and Obito makes a quick pit stop downstairs.  He returns shortly, a tall iced coffee in one hand and a large glass of ice water in the other.  He narrowly misses his grandpa in the stairwell, and thank fuck that he does, because Obito’s just not ready to explain to a 70-year-old man that he’s fucking a mythical creature.

(It’s not that he’s worried Grandpa’s going to be upset by it, let that be known.  He’s more worried that he’d be a little too accepting.  Like when your kid tells you they’re one thing and it becomes their parent’s personality to have a kid who’s that thing.  Y’know?)

He expects Hidan to be naked when he gets back up to the balcony and is, admittedly, a little torn when he’s not.  Rather, he’s almost naked – clad only in Obito’s most ridiculous pairs of boxers and the necklace he wears around his neck at all times.

“Here,” Obito says, resisting the urge to throw the water directly in Hidan’s face.  He hands Hidan the glass and Hidan takes it gratefully, sitting down in one of the chairs angled out towards the ocean.  Obito sits himself down in the one adjacent, sips at his iced coffee and side-eyes Hidan, a little disappointed when he does, in fact, remain with two human legs.  “So why doesn’t that change you?” 

Hidan takes a long sip of his water and lets out a big, happy sigh as he sets it down on the little table between them.  “Magic’s fuckin’ weird, dude, I dunno.”

Obito snorts, and again the pair falls silent.  And it’s not – awkward, necessarily, but Obito can feel the tension in the air and he knows that Hidan can feel it too, with the way he runs his thumb over the knuckles of his other, hands idly grasping each other.  He clears his throat, once, twice; a counting of the passage of time, maybe?  Or just a tickle in his throat.

Neither are sure how long it’s been exactly when Obito speaks up after setting his emptied coffee cup on the table next to Hidan’s abandoned glass, filled half way.

“So,” he says, looking down at his hands.  “I’m going back to uni at the end of the month.”

Silence.

The thumping of Obito’s heart doesn’t cease even as he looks up and receives the confirmation that Hidan is still here; it’s louder, even, he thinks, the blood pounding in his ears alongside.  Hidan makes a noise that sounds like oh, but he doesn’t make move to say anything further.  Obito’s jaw clenches and he swallows, ignores the small lump forming his throat for some fucking reason.  Some fucking reason he’d maybe rather not consider.

“I’ll still, y’know, I’ll be here for holidays, still.  Christmas, at least.”

The words are hardly out of Obito’s mouth when Hidan stands, moves to lean over Obito’s chair.  He braces his hands against the arms of it, caging him in; but Obito doesn’t feel fear, nor does he feel unsafe.  Hidan’s necklace swings between them, nearly hits Obito in the face, but still he does not flinch.  

They watch each other like this for what feels like a long time, bright pink eyes meeting coal black.  Hidan’s breaths wash softly over Obito’s face, rustle the little pieces of hair hanging over his forehead; and Obito, dammit, he wants nothing more than to hold onto the bastard and never let him go.

Even when he’s being a prick.  Maybe especially when he’s being a prick.

“Come back to me,” Hidan whispers, forehead falling to rest against Obito’s.  “Or else,” is what he says, but Obito knows that he means please, and he feels himself melting, wholly and truly – Hidan, for all his bullshit, for all his boistrousness and love of absolute fucking chaos, has a soft side and that soft side is really, truly wrapping itself around Obito like a piece of seaweed at the bottom of the ocean.  Unexpected, but not necessarily unwelcome.  

Maybe a little unwelcome, at first.  But a handful of weeks and enough quiet conversation, passionate arguments turned into heated debates turned into ardent, fiery love making – they’d made it worth it in the end.

Obito leans up, grabs Hidan by the shoulder, buries a hand in silvery hair and kisses him like it’s their last, even though both know it’s far from it.

“I will,” he says, “I promise.”

And then Hidan remembers.

“I can swim,” Hidan says with such strong realization that if it were a physical object he would be knocked on his ass, “so if you’re by the coast, I’ll find you.”

“Oh yeah.  But – wait, you can walk,” Obito replies, nudging at Hidan’s legs with his knee.

“Oh yeah.  But I can’t get wet, so it'd have to be a day when it's dry."

"Oh yeah."

They’ll make it work.  One way or another.

[or0ch1maru]

••••••AFTER-CARE?•••••••

18+, mentions of rough sex, hook up/one night stand, sub drop, female reader. Fluff & cuddles, sweet ending ^.^

•

You’d heard stories from your girlfriends and some women from work about after care. The time to mentally settle down and do other soft things after sex, particularly rough sex. You have experience, being in a few different relationships and some one night stands but you never experienced the joy of after care

So when the time came that you and your hook up finished, you were already slipping your clothes back on. Getting ready to head back home now that things are done. Despite this heavy feeling weighing over your head.

“Where you going princess?” He asked, your ears perked as you looked at him over your shoulder. “Home, we’re done here aren’t we?” You replied softly, your tone even despite the nagging feeling behind it

“Nah, come lay down with me.” He said, his eyes scanning over your face, wondering if you had something important to attend too. When he noticed your hesitation, he stretched out an arm, his muscles protruding as he wraps his hand around your waist, pulling you against his side.

Once he got you comfortable, your face nuzzled against neck, something overcame you and you couldn’t hold back. Tears started falling from your eyes, your hand gripping a small fistful of his shirt.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks, his usual husky tone laced with concern as he took in how vulnerable you are. You shook your head in reply, trying to slow your breathing down enough to answer him.

“Ah, I see” he spoke gently, a large calloused hand pushing strands of hair out of your face. “You’ve never experienced this have you?” His voice is almost like a purr as he watches you reply with a no. He shifts his body once again, him laying flat on his back with you on top of him. Your face resting against his broad chest, his thick arms wrapping around your small frame. Holding you tightly against him

“Don’t worry doll, I’ve got you.” He murmurs. You feel his lips graze the top of your head as he presses a kiss against your hair.

“You’ll never feel that way again. Not ‘s long as I’ve got you”

•

TOJI, soft SUKUNA, NANAMI, Zetsu, Kisame, HIDAN, KAKUZU, OBITO, SATORU, SUGURU, Pain, orochimaru, Kenpachi, Renji

[cherubfae]

|| love rival || Akatsuki x reader

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MDNI

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Akatsuki Headcanons (Platonic)

❝ — 🍥 lady l: something I thought about for a while and decided to do it now. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️🖤

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mention of death, yandere themes, stalking and jealousy.

❝🍥pairing: platonic yandere!akatsuki x gender neutral!reader.

Becoming part of Akatsuki was an important decision and one you knew shouldn't be made lightly. They were wanted and dangerous criminals. Once you decided to join, there would be no going back.

You were not innocent, you had already killed and committed some minor crimes and you were a well-trained ninja. That's why you decided to join Akatsuki. You just didn't know that your life would turn out completely different than you initially thought it would.

Pain was a little wary of allowing you to join Akatsuki, as not only did you not have a little-known reputation but there was something about you that unnerved him. That attracts him. But he decided to agree, after talking to Konan.

That's how you joined the world's most wanted ninja, Akatsuki and became their obsession.

Pain is the leader of Akatsuki and has a god complex. He is serious and distant, rarely approaching other members except to give him missions or orders. However, when he is Nagato he is totally different. Kind and shy. You and Konan are the only people who really know him as Nagato.

Regardless of your identity, he is very protective of you. He sees you as something good, as one of the few remnants of goodness, even if you are a criminal, you are still better than everyone. Besides being quite possessive of you. He wants to become a God and he will, but he sees no point in becoming one if you are not by his side.

Konan possessed a calmness, an admirable and frightening control. She has enviable self-control and this is visible in the way she deals with you. She is very calm around you, offering a kind smile and seeking any form of affection she can get from you.

She is desperate for affection, but she will never admit it. Konan is very intelligent and knows how to manipulate you. Stoic and cold-blooded, she will kill anyone who gets in her way, in your life other than herself and the other members. She takes whatever time she can have by your side.

Tobi has lost a lot during his life and these losses have shaped him into who he is today. He never expected to get attached to someone again, to love someone else after being deprived of someone he loved. This made him paranoid and very overprotective of you. Obito already lost someone he loved once, he won't lose you too.

He is introverted, however, and tries to avoid social interactions with the other Akatsuki members as much as possible, but with you, he is more sociable. Tobi is very possessive and always has one eye on you, especially when you are around the other members.

Itachi is calm and reserved, his feelings for you, the obsession he harbors, are very well hidden behind his mask. Not even the other members know Itachi very well, as he is enigmatic and mysterious. He deals with you the same way he does with everyone else, calmly and without showing much of how he feels. This makes you more distant.

However, he is not a really bad person. He did bad things, things he will regret. He sees a second chance in you, he trusts his intuition and you a lot. Itachi has a strong sense of empathy towards you and he is the one who notices the most if you are uncomfortable or upset about something, usually offering you comfort. He is possessive, however, because he has already lost a lot and wants your attention to him.

Kisame is a tailless tailed beast, a shark in humanoid form and he has strong predator instincts. He is very aggressive and can often be dominated by his bloodlust and desire for death, but he knows how to control himself when he wants to or when ordered to do so. You are one of the few people who can convince him to have mercy.

He's very perceptive, though. Kisame is always on alert and is aware of any danger and his first reaction is to take you away from danger. He is very protective and is also great at analyzing people and will know when you are bad.

Kakuzu only cares about money and himself, an avaricious and greedy man. He used to be like that until you joined Akatsuki and he started to care about you, but like a possession. Something that belonged to him, something to be controlled.

He often says that you can only trust him and money, the only two things you can rely on. Kakuzu is very attached to you and cares in his own way. He has a violent temper and becomes obsessed easily and you are his biggest obsession. He gets jealous very easily and reacts harshly to it.

Zetsu is a duality and only a manipulation, a difficult one to read and understand. White Zetsu is the easiest to deal with, he is playful and carefree, and he loves to tease others. He is very calm and loves to have fun with you, but he is very protective of you and although he doesn't usually use violence, he will.

Black Zetsu is the real problem. He is very intelligent and is the real brain behind many plans, serious and experienced. He is a great manipulator, appearing trustworthy and loyal, but his true loyalty is unknown to you. He is very possessive and a born stalker and will kill anyone who gets too close to you. He gets into several conflicts with White Zetsu because of this.

Deidara is extremely proud and fully believes that the greatest art form is destruction. He does not accept defeat and will always seek revenge. He is very reckless and even impulsive, often acting without thinking and that includes you. But he is not stupid, but rather calculating.

He is easily jealous and no one can insult you around him, as he will go crazy and be willing to sacrifice even himself to destroy the offender. Deidara protects you fiercely and his possessiveness leads him to states of madness that only you or Sasori can control. His favorite activity is the art of explosion with you.

Sasori is devoid of any human emotion, has no feelings of affection and is even considered inhuman. He doesn't feel anything, he never cared about anyone or anything, until he met you. Cold and distant, Sasori just watches from afar, preferring to keep his attention on his puppets.

You made him feel something for the first time in years, someone he could finally have the love he always wanted as a child. Sasori, although distant, still stays close to you when it suits him. He became possessive, even threatening the other Akatsuki members over you. He doesn't care about anything or anyone except you. And he won't let you be taken from him. Even if he has to turn you into a puppet. You will stay together.

Hidan has no respect for anything or anyone, insulting everything and everyone that suits him. Not even his own leader is safe from his insults, considering he doesn't respect him at all. Although a religious ninja, Hidan acts in a manner completely contrary to a religious person. He kills everything and everyone without any remorse.

He is quite easygoing towards you, his insults are never directed at you and he will eviscerate anyone who dares to insult you. Hidan is a sadist, finding pleasure in causing pain and killing his victims in the most painful way possible. He definitely wants to teach you how to be like him.

Akatsuki became more united when you joined and although there will always be conflicts between them, you became the missing piece. Pain would never let you leave, not when you were true peace. You're stuck with them forever.

[dark-konohagakure2]

Pain punishing a disobedient member by making her a free use slave for the whole Akatsuki

tw: noncon, abuse of power, free use, gangbang, bondage, threats, biting, forced eye contact, abuse, size difference, monster cocks, double penetration, anal, bloodplay, degradation, photography, mommy kink, facesitting

All characters depicted are 18+

Pain isn't as domineering of a leader as people would think, despite being the head of a terrorist group, he allows his members to have a certain degree of freedom with how they pursue the organizations shared goals, but if there's one thing Pain won't allow, it's disobedience.

When a younger female member of the Akatsuki begins to show the telltale signs of a disobedience streak, Pain will snuff out the issue before it even arises, deciding to put the would-be dissenter to work, and what better work for a disobedient brat than long and hard labor?

Pain can easily overpower her even without using his Rinnegan, chaining her up with her arms above her head and her legs spread, all of her holes exposed to whoever would walk into the common room of the Akatsuki lair.

Pain is very blunt about his intentions, telling her all about how he's going to have her own comrades fuck the disobedience out of her, that's the small price that traitors to the Akatsuki have to pay after all.

"Now you're going to learn how to be a good girl. I'm leaving you here for our comrades to use as they see fit. Maybe this will teach you the importance of teamwork and obedience."

Deidara goes first, and being the youngest he has the most stamina, not to mention his sadistic streak. He'll threaten to blow her to smithereens with his art, and he'll use the mouths on his hands to bite when lick her all over. Sasori goes next, and he's just unnerving, showing no emotion and staring at her with unblinking eyes, his puppet body feeling very uncomfortable inside of her as he roughly penetrates her with it.

Itachi is almost as unnerving as Sasori, just without the cold wooden body. He stares too, but with his Sharingan active the entire time he's fucking her, he's oddly insistent on making eye contact the entire time, grabbing her face and even slapping her if she looks away from his intense gaze. Kisame is a very big and tall man, living up to his reputation as a complete monster. He practically smothers the poor girl with his large frame when he pounds both of his cocks into her, shoving one member into each of her holes and leaving her covered in bloody bite marks by the time he's done.

Hidan is unsurprisingly the worst of them all in terms of the amount of physical pain he'll inflict, he'll fuck her so hard that she bleeds while calling her every name in the book, laughing in her face whenever she cries and begs. Kakuzu is no where near as obnoxious as Hidan, but he's just as cruel, forcing his threads into her mouth to shut her up while he plows into her, taking photos of her helpless form on his camera so he can sell them to seedy old perverts later.

Konan isn't as cruel as the men, but she's just as domineering as them, sharply slapping the girl's pussy and telling her to be a good girl for mommy as she sits on the girl's helpless face. Tobi is surprisingly the scariest of them all, the usually childish man is now speaking in a terrifying and deep voice, acting the complete opposite of his usual self as he pounds into her roughly and without a hint of his usual goofiness.

Once the day is done and her sentence is served, Pain will come to unbind her, her body covered in cum, tears, and blood. Pain won't feel any remorse, only showing satisfaction at the fact that his unruly bitch is how housebroken.

"Have you learned your lesson? It certainly looks like you have. Now, let's go to my quarters, I'll give you your final lesson in obeying your leader."

He'll then take her to his room to have his own way with the defenseless Akatsuki member, he's her leader after all, her God, so it's only fair that he fucks her last, to truly assert his dominance and ownership over her used up body.

[cosmic-glow]

Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"

Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!

"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki

Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.

Itachi Uchiha

He always offers you help in the kitchen.

He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.

He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.

Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.

He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.

He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.

Kisame Hoshigaki

You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.

He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.

His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.

He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.

He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).

He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.

He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.

Deidara

He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.

Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.

He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.

"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.

One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.

It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.

(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).

But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!

Sasori

He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.

And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).

Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.

Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.

He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.

At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.

Kakuzu

He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.

He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.

Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.

He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.

He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.

Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.

Hidan

Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...

As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.

But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.

Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.

You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.

Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.

Zetsu

He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.

He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.

"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."

Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.

You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.

Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.

Tobi/Obito Uchiha

Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.

Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.

He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).

Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.

This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.

He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.

Pein

Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.

Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.

He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.

Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.

He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? Are your. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.

Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.

Konan

He likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).

She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.

Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.

Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.

As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.

Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[hinakazino]

Tobi’s Sister? || Akatsuki w/ child!reader

Summary: You’re tobi’s sister, that’s it. You may also be the one the Akatsuki love most.

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of angst.

Inspired by this piece: uchihas w/ sister!reader.

You were the last Uchiha ever born, as in you were born a little over a year before the Uchiha Clan Massacre. Obito had known about your presence as it was no secret when a new member was arriving.

Although it was traditional to keep quiet about it until around the 2nd semester out of worry for stressing out the mother. He still found out anyway, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Your arrival was a heartwarming moment. Your mother was very happy for you filled up her heart. Her heart which was dull, was now filled with hope, from the previous loss of her son, him.

It was unfortunate then, that not long after having you that she had gone. That the whole clan had gone, except for you and Sasuke. Obito had debated on your worth but ultimately he chose to keep you and Madara didn't seem to be against it.

Madara himself hearing that he had a little sister had simply said that "we should at least leave out some hope for our clan". So, on the night of the Uchiha massacre you were taken to a secret location, death faked.

From that point on, Obito had raised you on his own and he soon found that you were his love. You were so sweet and adorable, he didn't want anything happening to you. When you came he swore no feelings towards you, yet now you are his weakness.

It wasn't like Obito hid his face from you either, but he knew that he had to keep his plan foolproof so he never told you his real name, sticking to Tobi/big brother. He'd save that revelation for when you were much older.

By the age of 3, you were a healthy toddler who was energetic and intelligent. You picked up things quicker than others, such as walking and talking. Although you weren't a professional you could communicate what you wanted. It was at this age that Obito introduced you to the Akatsuki. Most of the members were surprised by this. Not really by the point that Tobi had this child with him who he had a brotherly relationship with, but more so the point that Pain actually allowed you into the organization.

By the age of 4 you had gotten used to your environment, you were an energetic child. Tobi was personally worried about how the Akatsuki would treat you but nothing bad came out of it. You were given all you needed and treated with the utmost respect.

It was honestly laughable, how the akatsuki. The most powerful criminal organization, dawned in their signature black, red cloud cloaks had this small child. In her small puffy dress running around.

The truth was that not all of the akatsuki knew you personally, they knew you exist but not all have met you. It was decided that you'd be with the main group.

Pain was at a loss of words, truly, when you were introduced into the equation. He knew right away that you were definitely an uchiha and that you had quite a strong bond with Tobi (for him, "Madara").

But it seemed that out of all things Tobi sincerely meant everything he said about you. He had even cited how Pain and Konan wanted to create a place where children could be happy, "a place I hope she'll be," he said while cradling your sleeping form.

So, Pain ultimately did let you in but not without stating his own terms. Handling a child was not at all easy and if you were to stay with them. You should at least be trained to an extent where you were useful.

After all, the organization doesn’t want any people who’d slow them down. At least, that was the original reason, deep down Pain did feel the need to protect you.

Ultimately a plan was devised, they’d take care of you, teach you, and train you. The more difficult things could be dealt with later on. So, a teaching plan was developed for you when you became apart of the Akatsuki.

Kakuzu had known of your arrival long before any of the other members. As previously Pain had consulted him on this as part of the budget would be put towards taking care of you. This, greatly annoyed Kakuzu.

Kakuzu didn't understand why Pain even cared about you to this extent. He saw this as wasted money, baby formula and diapers weren't cheap. But thankfully, he didn't have to worry about that because by the time you were established as a member you didn't need that anymore.

He eventually didn't mind you at all as you weren't that big of an annoyance. You weren't that interested in him at first. Eventually though due to Pains plan Kakuzu would have to teach you mathematics.

A class, which, to your dismay and Kakuzu's you disliked. Nonetheless he was at least grateful you absorbed knowledge and was quite shocked whenever you'd join into his money-speaking conversations with Hidan.

Hidan was one of the most shocked members, "oh I wonder how strong she is!" he had said. Then when your small form peaked out from behind Tobi, Konan had to reminded him that you were just a child.

Hidan got along with you easily though, and it was no secret the rest of the members enjoyed the "tea parties" you'd host with him and Deidara. Hidan greatly enjoyed your innocence to the world.

Especially your reaction to new things. He remembers laughing so hard when he had you try french fries for the first time, or when you'd seen a shooting star for the first time. He made sure of course, to tell you to make a wish. He really enjoyed your company.

Despite this, Hidan wasn't given an educational role but more so a babysitter rule. It wasn't ideal but he was like a guard for you, since he enjoyed your company he was tasked with keeping an eye on you most of the time.

Deidara reacted exactly like Hidan had, he didn't expect you to be a kid though honestly! When he first saw you he honestly thought you were quite cute. You were so chubby and soft, he loved whenever he'd come back from a long mission. You'd run and hug him!

It was even better when Hidan and him would compete for who you'd hug first. However most of the time you wouldn't choose or just run to Konan instead.

Deidara, unlike Hidan, although being assigned to watch over you partly also was your art teacher. Deidara was not allowed to use explosions at all with you, this was strictly forbidden by Pain and more so by Tobi. Not like he would though after seeing how easily you could get injured. You had merely fell but it'd left you with two bleeding knees that healed fast thankfully since you were still young, but had scared you for awhile. It hurt Deidara to witness that, who would enjoy that anyway?

He mainly just has you make sculptures with him, and it isn't like he hates doing other things besides sculptures. So besides his tendency to destroy things in "the name of art" he really doesn't do that with you also because you had cried once. That was when he realized you were more of a collection person.

Sasori hadn’t given any reaction at all when you’d arrived. He saw it like this, as long as you didn’t disturb him he wouldn’t you. However, it seems like Pain had other plans.

As you technically had to be taught besides being taken care of. It turns out that Sasori had been chosen to be your science teacher. He wasn’t particularly fond of this idea as a child such as you seemed quite dumb, no?

Well he was wrong about you being dumb because you were quite intelligent for your age, but not obedient. Sasori was a man who’d get the job done though so he found a way around your constant moving. It didn't take a genius to figure out kids were active.

He was actually starting to enjoy teaching you then, as you were always excited when he said he had something new for you. You absorbed knowledge from him and always praised him. This stroked his ego a lot.

He was especially impressed at your reaction to his puppets. You’d let out the loudest squeal he’d ever heard and hadn’t even realized it was a puppet. You reminded him of when he was young, and it made him get closer to you.

Itachi had just accepted your presence, although your age shocked him a bit. He was technically considered young himself when he had joined the Akatsuki, and besides he'd seen much worse.

At first, he didn't know how to interact with you but introductions were said and done with Pain's assignment for him. Itachi was to be your actual babysitter, he got you ready for meals, helped dress you, and more.

Pain knew out of everyone here Itachi was kind with kids and knew how to be responsible. Which is why Itachi is your Nanny, always reminding you of naps, rest, and shower time.

It was a bit debated whether it would be Konan or Itachi but Konan was normally rather busy and Itachi had swore to Tobi no harm would come to you. He wasn't one to break promises either. Itachi tried to not become attached to you emotionally but clearly failed. He didn't want to lose another person, or worst comes to worst, be the one to take out that said person. He wasn't an idiot, he knew you were an Uchiha from the moment he laid eyes on you. It was the most shocking of all in your first meeting. He couldn't help feeling grateful in the end however, to know that at least one person was spared from the massacre. This was soon combined with a feeling of guilt though as he knew you were entangled in much more now, he vowed he'd protect you if he could, just like Sasuke.

Eventually, you had come to love Itachi just like a brother, he gave you a sense of familiarity and was super gentle. The same could be said for Itachi, who now saw Sasuke in you.

Kisame was quite amused when you'd joined the Akatsuki. Wouldn't it be rather fun for people to hear of this? Well, either way he thought you'd be scared of him on your first meeting.

Turns out you weren't in the least, you were really curious about him too. When you'd first met your hands had touched his face all over, but what made you love him the most was how high he could lift you.

This was when Kisame first learned just how much kids loved to be tossed around (gently) and he always made sure to lower his strength around you. He actually was quite entertained with you, not as bored as he’d thought.

He was assigned to be your swim teacher, expected really. He began teaching you right away and quickly caught onto your fear of the deep water. Not to fear though because Tobi was there watching your first couple lessons and Kisame controlled the waters to prevent any harm.

He did his best to make the waters seem calm and fun. Whenever he could he’d take you to the beach or a lake. Sometimes Itachi would even tag along with you two as he watched Kisame swim out with you.

Kisame felt proud knowing you were learning quickly. He had bragged about it once to Hidan and Deidara too. They had called him soft towards you but it wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Konan lastly, was your Language/Biology teacher, she came around more often after you came into the equation. You were so adorable in her eyes and she loved whenever you’d run into her arms.

Konan loved your squishy chubby cheeks, most of all your cute voice when you called her name. She was assigned as your biology teacher for obvious reasons. Although this is a more later role she would help you through puberty and such.

She was also your language teacher, helping you learn the characters and to read. Enjoying the fun moment she’d have with you on her lap reading along. You were a kind presence in her world, a reminder of what she hopes to work towards.

Konan is happy to take care of you and you view her much like an older sister. She teaches you so much, and is a very encouraging person. Helping you gain new experiences and also protecting you as much as she can.

© 2023 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.

[immoralimmortals]

I READ THEM TAGS OFFER EM UP MY LEIGE I NEED MARRIAGE HEADCANONS FOR THE AKATSUKI

You water my crops and put the stars in the sky. I'm madly in love with you. I'm bringing this post to your feet much like a cat does their favorite toy. I have caught it. Be proud of me, mother.

Even if it's less about the whole life of being married and more about the actual act of marrying, hope that's ok!

Akatsuki Marriage Headcanons, for real this time:

Pain:

I am a huge proponent of the popular fanon opinion that if this man takes you so seriously as to express a label for it (love, spouse, etc.), he is at the brink of worshiping your feet. Don't get me wrong, in terms of the arrangement of proposal and marriage ceremony, the leader is still in charge; however, he is dictating with every detail painstakingly about you. If there is decor, it is your favorite color. If you expressed you like a certain gemstone, he tracks it down for proposal and gets the finest cut upon your finger. You don't want an actual wedding? No problem, you're just going to come home to several thousand lit candles and a profession of commitment as deep from his heart as a corpse is in the grave.

The idea is that it is necessary for this bond to be formalized, at least for his own sake. Pain would refer to it as something you need to hear. If he is nothing else, he is serious about whatever he experiences emotionally; that goes for both his immense suffering and his most delicate of joys. He declares you his, neigh: commands...but only after you assure him yes.

If a traditional proposal is done, it must be in private. He dares not be too exposed. It's already so much that he has become vulnerable to you.

It is a hard privilege to earn. And so, the Akatsuki leader pays you back in kind. As long as you both shall live, you are his deity. You will never want, not as long as he is allowed to bask in you.

Pain kisses you firmly, one hand on your wrist and one on your back. You are to feel both his presence and his commitment.

A wedding song for you: Take me to Church by Hozier (yes I am a sucker for this song, yes yes and yes) or Ship in a Bottle by fin

Konan:

All at once, her heart aches in the best and worst ways, as it is such a curse of the Akatsuki to have had their loves taken too soon. Up till this point, she has been passive, letting you lead the relationship, but now- despite how much she yearns for the same- the angel stands her ground.

"Why?" you ask her in retaliation. She's thin-lipped as she refuses the real answer. It takes a couple tries over a few, staggered moments in private for the truth to tumble out:

She does not want another person she loves to die because of her. It's irrational; your death is not predetermined by the commitment. And yet it remains. She is scared, and the closer you get the more she stings.

But you have to press closer. You have to assure, promise, fight your way back into her heart as it tries to close you out in self protection. You succeed, thanks to one of the reasons you adore Konan: her capacity to hope, no matter the circumstance. Reminder her of that, and she can only be yours.

The wedding is small, the two of you and whomever you deem precious enough to witness. (I imagine probably not even a full handful). It is twilight and the color of the world is shaded blue. Blue as her hair, blue as she feels whenever you're away, blue in the same way the purest of whites are to the human eye. You are pristine. The paper that folds the bouquets that drape around you are spotless and glow in the moonlight in such a way they're almost lanterns. Their starkly pale and crisply folded nature surround as if it is her prayer that everything that is good may stay that way.

Konan kisses you in such a way that no part of you but your lips touch one another. It is chaste, it is soft, it is a seal.

A wedding song for you: Saturn by Sleeping at Last (I cry every single time I hear this in full. I sincerely think there are few songs that have so viscerally touched me like this one has.) or Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

Obito:

You cannot get his single-mindedness off of Rin. There is no way around it, and anything meant as distraction will not only fail but backfire on you. Therefore, if you are this deep into a partnership, you are there not in spite of her but thanks to her. You will be compared and contrasted to no end; this is not cruel, it is merely how he shapes his worldview in regards to goodness and love. You are his second chance. You are his solitude.

You don't get opportunity to propose. He will tell you first.

It is every definition of a ceremony, almost ritualistic, almost like they're crowning a king/queen. The ceilings are tall and decorated with the visage of ancestors and gods. Incense is lit and the setting sun sets the room on fire with orange and red. You are presented to him, ornate in the way he demands. A masked face cannot hide the lust and satisfaction in his voice. His hand reaches out, and you take it. For perhaps the first time, the mask is tilted to hide from their audience while still showing his scarred face to you.

His kiss is hard. Not sloppy, but hard. His hand is on the back of your head, and he going to press you into him until your soul enters his body.

A wedding song for you: Come Along by Cosmo Sheldrake or Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie

Bad relationship songs because I can't control myself: Anybody Else by Dom Fera (THE song of all time for me, I love it) or Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde

Zetsu:

Marriage? That's a fascinating concept. He's never had the desire for this kind of relationship before, but as you talk more and more of it, the more he grasps. In the end, it is a concept that matters to you, and he can appreciate the sentiment of it.

The weirdest part, honestly, is that you reserved such a thing for him.

Though he follows along (you must guide the entire arrangement), he quietly, curiously doubts the whole time. But your guiding hand is so soft as you take him and lead, so nice onto his skin as you select two rings and slide one on each color of hand. You make no mistake: it is both you are marrying. It is both you are committing to. That recognition is his first step into a hesitant acceptance of your eternal love.

When the time comes, you walk him to the first place you met, beside a large tree in a clearing with no human settlement in sight. None of the "don't see the bride/groom" tradition, it has no room here. Any amount of people you want are there, regardless of if it is everyone or no one. (He would prefer no one, but this is all for you, after all). As you're about to kiss him, he makes one request. It is the only thing Zetsu has asked for in all of this time:

Let him taste you.

How can you tell him no?

So his bi-colored lips part, taking your bottom lip into his first, and then rounded teeth gently drag the flesh into his mouth. Pressure is applied and you taste your blood, though fleetingly as he drinks it in. In all the time you've known him, this is the closest Zetsu has ever been to you. In this symbolic action, you have finally gained his full and complete trust.

Zetsu's kiss is metallic but it is not cold. It is pensive, meditative, doing his best to understand that which you crave, and so he does his best to crave you. He cups your face in both of his ringed hands so he need not focus on anything but your taste.

A wedding song for you: & by Tally Hall or Yes to Err is Human, So Don't Be One by Will Wood

Hidan:

At first he's going to make fun of you. He's going to tell you that this is the dumbest idea he's ever heard. And when you go quiet and don't bring it up again, he is going to pin you down and demand to be told why you changed your mind.

This man wants you so much, he can't fathom it. What is marriage if you must slaughter your neighbor? Well...a lover is a step above neighbor, isn't it?

Thank Jashin he doesn't need to kill you to get married.

If you do a traditional wedding, he will drag his feet but he will do it. It's to your detriment alone, really, how obnoxious he'd be. If you pin a flower to his lapel, he'll rip it off. He'll spit to the side in disgust at any mushy gushy talk done in front of others in this bastardization of another religion's ritual. This isn't a real ceremony. Let him show you what a wedding really is:

It's going to end up with your blood on his body and his blood on yours. He makes you straddle his lap, in the middle of the symbol of his lord that he's drawn upon the floor. The same sigil is dangled from a chain, his necklace held between you, from your view right between his intense violet eyes. The metal is cold as it plays a barrier between your lips and his.

Hidan's kiss is reverent. If this Jashinist is marrying you, he fucking means it. Do more than tolerate the cut a knife makes into your palm; pray to it.

...And then he will pray to you.

A wedding song for you: I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin or Misanthrapologist by Will Wood

Bad relationship song I can't help but add: This is Love by Air Traffic Controller

Kakuzu:

Despite popular belief, this is not a man who fusses over money the way Scrooge does over every last coin. By the contrary, it is that he is a man that does not have much to give. This is in every sense, it turns out. Kakuzu is a man that has had all hope in humanity and for himself beat the hell out of him, so it's a shock to him if you hint at a desire for marriage. A mistake, that's what you're trying to make, here. At first he'll rebuff with few words but still sure, but it'll hitch onto him like a tick. A traditional man at heart, you know best to let him propose himself.

And so he does. It is the only time you've ever seen him doubt himself, but of course you tell him yes. As you throw your arms around him, that's when reality hits in the best of ways.

He does not wait, not if you don't oppose him. He takes you to a temple, middle of nowhere with no one either of you or your nations will know. For an old man, it's such a romantic, young man's task to arrange to elope. The priest marries you, as you sit side by side at the break of dawn upon his stoop. He wears his mask, still wears long robes to cover his stitches, but his silky brown hair drifts so beautifully with the wind; he will say this compliment is one he had of you and yours, when he looks back upon today. You are his world, intertwined in an immortal and mortal life.

Kakuzu does not kiss you at the wedding. That comes later, when no one else is there. He pulls down his mask and takes your mouth upon his, tangled until one of you can't breathe anymore.

A wedding song for you: Vanilla Curls by Teddy Hyde or Budapest by George Ezra

Deidara:

A flirt he may be, but a guy of commitment? Hell no. At first he's really flattered, chuckling and letting a large smirk trail up one side of his face. It falls when he realizes you're being serious. "Wait, really?" You nod, and his always-intense stare seems a bit closer to concerned.

"My dear...you're getting carried away, aren't you?" he offers like a second chance to not embarrass yourself.

Everything, as it always has for Deidara, has happened so fast it hits him before he recognizes what it is. Love is included, even and up until the point he's in this deep. Honestly? It terrifies him. He'll laugh and walk away, but it'll fucking haunt him.

A couple days of flying on a bird, all by his lonesome, and he returns with a bit of a different view. Life is short, beauty is fleeting: the opportunity is here and damned if he don't take it. He offers your hand- both in marriage and for a ride- and you soar into the sky.

There's no such thing as a traditional wedding, no need for it when the most beautiful things in the world are you and his art. Explosions and fireworks alike light up the night sky and he leans over to whisper his dedication upon your lips.

Deidara's kiss is, of course, bombastic. It's intense and with tongue and repeats, over and over, never lasting too long as he can't keep his love-drunk words to himself for longer than two seconds. Streamers and confetti flutter around your heads, grander than any parade for any newly wed prince or princess.

A wedding song for you: The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience or Fear and Delight by The Correspondents

Sasori:

Only someone who knows him as well as you will pick up the subtlest shifts of the scorpion's expression, the way brown eyes barely widen. You bring it up, nearly like a dream you had, nearly like you're talking to yourself in your sleep, but he hears it. Sasori continues with his work, the monotony of woodwork allowing him to chew on the idea. A marriage isn't necessary, of course...but he also will lie to himself about how downright alluring the symbolism of a wedding is.

If the most beautiful things are eternal, why not your love?

If you've gotten him so far that Sasori will consider whatever form of affection he can manage in his barely organic heart, then he will make every second of your life never-ending bliss.

He decorates you, almost like one of his dolls, in the finest patterns of fabric and sleekest of jewelry. He pains over every inch of skin on top of muscle and bone, the way the ring slips on your finger and the way your wrist bends to do it. The ritual is an art piece, and you gaze upon him so marvelously... Your lips part with such slight but sure poise...

The venue is silent and you both are alone. Not even a bird caws, no insect chirps. Pure, clear as glass silence. You are the only two beings in all of existence. You will ascend time itself. A single candle is lit as you sit in the deepest depths of this cave, where no one may interrupt.

Where no one can hear him confess to you.

Sasori's kiss is soft, far too soft. He holds both of your hands so delicately, like they're on a string. Lines of chakra help you move into him in a way that is just right, just utterly perfect.

A wedding song for you: Thumbnail by Louie Zong and Brian David Gilbert or Dark of the Matinee by Franz Ferdinand

Kisame:

Shockingly enough, this guy is going to be your hardest sell. Perhaps predictably, it isn't because he dislikes marriage, settling down, falling in love. Disliking and opposing are very different things.

He panics, at least just a little the first time you mention it. "I'm a shinobi, you know. You won't see me very much." Time passes on, and your desire appears again:

"I'm a rough guy. Just take a second to think about what you're asking for, alright?"

More time, and more desperation on his part with your persistence:

"I am meant to die alone," he finally tells you outright. "Don't bother with me. You could be spending your time so much better than fussing over someone who isn't going to last."

But you do, and he does last. Unfortunately, he does last. It gnaws him to the bone.

"Alright," he'll ask you, a long time since you first expressed your wants, "Are you certain?" You say yes, of course you say yes. Bittersweet, sharp teeth smile. "Very well," the swordsman concedes.

You marry traditionally, though very small. A hood drapes over him, hiding his face as the priest speaks the seal of marriage. His hand clings to yours, so very afraid of losing you. Or worse: making you lose him.

With the formalities out of the way, his own way begins. Finally alone, you both plunge into deep water, a loud splash quickly muting to flooded ears. He holds your face as your hair drifts past him in strands noses nearly touching. Kisame gets a good look at you before he changes everything forever, closing his eyes.

Kisame's kiss is a leap of faith. It tastes like lake water and seaweed and his love. He presses all of you into him like a shell holds a pearl, limbs climbing around you as you suspend in water and sink. Breathe into him, breathe deep. Every last breath in his lungs is just for you.

A wedding song for you: Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood or If I'm Being Honest by dodie

Itachi:

The implications of this circumstance are astounding. He loves you- yes, of course he does- but what's more is that he loves you enough to be so selfish as to gift himself to you, even knowing the fate he's reserved. It is both impressive and heartbreaking. Have hope, you ask of him. That is all you ask of him. Give it a chance. It is what he wants, isn't it?

Of course it is. But are you okay if the inevitable comes true?

You pause, and he studies your naive, innocent eyes. But you know more than perhaps Itachi has realized. You know it is okay to treasure. It is okay to enjoy. The journey matters more than the destination. Yes, it is okay, you tell him, you love to love him all the same.

Dark eyes close. Then he will give you what is desired.

Kisame is present, of course, as well as the ancestors of the Uchiha clan in spirit. You are radiant, and he tells you so. You return the compliment in soft earnest. A single hand cups your cheek as he approaches, pausing to feel and taste your breath as it drifts into his mouth.

Itachi's kiss is barely there, like he's afraid of breaking glass. If you want to kiss deeper, you'll need to go in and get it yourself. Just don't mistake delicacy for a lack of interest. This is the most of his body he has ever given in his entire life. Just give him time.

A wedding song for you: Herbal Tea by Velvet Moon or Here For You by Good Co

[mommoochii]

Nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya

[fatherphilia]

nsfw akatsuki headcanons

feeling insane rn. i included orochimaru too cause he was like technically apart of it.. and i just wuv my babygirl.

as always, there’s some problematic content so be careful.

tw. implied cannibalism, manipulation, public sex, drugging, noncon, bondage, period sex, necro, age gap under cut

pain/nagato is an interesting one after all, pain is a corpse for nagato to control but since pain will always be nagato’s favorite vessel, it’s his preferred one to fuck you with. the body is cold, lacking much in the warmth department but it’s desirable all the same.

pain is skilled with his fingers though, there’s no part of his body that nagato isn’t adapt at controlling. his thick digits easily able to reach that pleasurable spot inside of you that has you seeing stars; his thumb rubbing circles against your clit as he works you through the orgasm.

can’t forget the tongue piercing either. he’s got piercings all over his body but you’d be lying if you said the one on his tongue wasn’t your favorite. the chill of the metal against your warm sex while he’s lapping at your folds drives you crazy.

konan adores sex in nature, something about the feeling of grass or bark against her back while she’s intertwined with her partner gets her going. it’s not uncommon for her to request to be sent on missions with just her partner and no one else. of course, the team hardly suspects it’s for salacious reasons because she keeps a stoic face while asking.

when the coast is clear, she’ll tug her lover into the woods with her. her hands roaming under their partially unzipped cloak to find leverage on their thighs where her fingers are tracing out circles and hearts into their skin.

her nails leave thin scratch marks all across their back while they cling to each other against a tree. her partners hands movingly swiftly between her thighs.

did you know period blood can be used for rituals? hidan certainly knew and he’s very proudly a big fan of period sex. he loves fucking his partner while they’re on their period more than anything. it gets him going to see the way his cock is coated with their blood as he slides in and out of them.

just the sight of their blood smeared across their thighs and his cock is almost too much for him. he’s groaning as his grip tightens around their waist so he could push himself deeper inside. he loves the little squeals he gets in response from just that one movement.

eating his partner out while they’re on his period is also something that he adores. he’s licking and lapping like it’s his last meal and he loves the feeling of their juices mixed with blood dripping down his chin.

itachi likes to blindfold his lover during sex because he thinks it’s a great sign of trust. he loves knowing that they trust him enough that they’d momentarily let their sight be taken away so he could touch them. he can’t deny that the fact that they won’t know what he’s doing next also plays a part in his desire.

to an extent, it also brings him more comfort to know that they’re not watching his every movement and perhaps judging what he does. he feels like this control gives him leeway to work their body in just the right ways without any worry.

he’ll try to surprise them, stroking their entrance before pulling away, leaving the ghost of his touch as he knows they can’t see where he’s gone before he’s just as quick to continue his ministrations and watch the way they jerk in surprise.

sasori is a puppet, he’s got a body he’s built and strewn together himself and when creating his perfect form, he’d considered any genitalia to be unnecessary and an afterthought. he’s certain his skills more than make up for it.

he’s got a million puppets he can control and what better way to use them than on you? he’ll sit across from you on the bed, skillfully moving his fingers to command a wooden hand to stroke the heat between your legs and for anyone to massage and grope your sensitive breasts.

when you’re whining for him to at least use his own hands, he has to chastise you a little bit. you expect him to get get his own fingers soaked? how selfish of you. he’s being generous by letting you play with his puppets like this.

i think deidara’s favorite body part of his is quite easy to guess. there’s nothing that man loves more than his hands which not only create art but are so unique with the mouths placed on either palm. and, since he loves that part of him so much, he loves to use it on you as well.

consider it a treat that he can eat you out while still able to dirty talk. he absolutely adores watching you squirm and moan beneath him as the tongue on his hand licks at your glistening folds. since he’s just using his hands, he has a perfect view of your face as well and the man is get to watch your gasps and moans at his touch.

he loves to overstimulate you as well by using both hands, two is always better than one, right? your body sure seems to think so with the way it’s arching into his touch.

zetsu seems to love you somewhat or rather, half of him loves you and the other half loves the way you taste and smell. he’s always has to be mindful of his actions while fucking you because the temptation to eat and bite is always lingering in the back of his mind.

can’t stand to see any skin exposed on you because he just wants to consume it but he settles for leaving bite marks and thin streaks of blood across your body while he fucks you. really, he expects you to praise him for having such good self control.

just don’t ask him to eat you out because then he really would not be able to contain himself from finally having that taste of you he wants most.

it should come as no surprise that kisame loves to fuck in bodies of water be it river, pool or a small bath. the water is like home to him and so he shares it with you during your most intimate moments. thankfully, if you can’t swim, he keeps a firm grip on you to keep you afloat.

the man loves the weightlessness of your bodies in the water even though he can easily lift you up anyways. although, he sometimes can’t help himself from dragging you underwater with him as he kisses and thrusts up into you just to watch you gasp and pull him up for air seconds later.

definitely a biter as well, this man is obsessed with leaving bite marks all along your neck and breasts. he just needs to be able to mark his territory and his sharp teeth make it quick and easy to stake his claim on you.

kakuzu has no intentions of settling down anytime soon and so he takes to fucking prostitutes he finds in nearby villages. the man is quick to abuse his status and fear as an akatsuki member to avoiding paying any girl he’s pulled for a night.

he’ll take any woman stupid enough to think he’d truly pay her for her time. he’s rough with them all, digging his hands into their hips so hard that it leaves bruises and thrusting his cock up into their mouth till they’re gagging. it’s not like they have much power to oppose his brutal treatment anyways.

when he’s done with them. having then spent and aching, their body left in marks that could only be done by a man truly wishing to cause them pain; he finally simply leaves them where he found them.

when obito is using his “tobi” persona, he likes to play innocent and naive to get someone into just the position he likes. he’ll claim to have lost something in a deep secluded area and that he really really wants them to come help him find it!

it’s too late by the time they’re bending over to pick up nothing more than a piece of trash. he’s already dropped his persona and his hands are gripping their hips and forcing them on to the ground with relative ease while he tears at their clothes.

he’s eerily silent while fucking them, not even making a motion to silence his victim as they hiccup through tears and beg for him to stop. a few grunts here and there but he won’t answer any of their pleas with a response and much like kakuzu, he has no qualms about just leaving them there when he’s done.

orochimaru gets what he wants by drugging anyone he desires. he’s particularly fond of ninjas who’ve just hit 18 and believe themselves to be untouchable and respected in their newfound adulthood. to him, it’s fun to break them down with just a few injections.

he gets them to the point where they’re hardly conscious and willing to do anything he likes so he can slide his cock between their lips while they do absolutely nothing to resist. he thinks of them as nothing more than dolls at his will at this point, they’re hardly able to make their own decisions.

he’ll play with them, let them reach the cusps of consciousness so they can fight and scream before he’s injecting them something else so they’re perfectly submissive for him once more.

[ladykissingfish]

*Sasori sitting on Deidara’s bed and reading while Deidara lays on his stomach, facing the opposite direction, painting his nails*

Sasori: Deidara. Must you have your feet in my lap like that? Your fidgeting makes it very difficult for me to read.

Deidara: It’s MY bed, Danna. I can put my feet where I want, hm. You don’t like it, you can always leave.

Sasori: Right; and endure your endless complaints about how I never spend any time with you? Nice try, brat.

Deidara: Oi, speaking of my feet though … *sits up and holds out the bottle of nail polish* Can you do my toes for me?

Sasori: *sighs and takes the bottle* Yes, dear.

*Deidara blows on his fingernails to dry them as Sasori paints his toes*

Sasori: You know, I don’t know if I mentioned this yet, but, you look very nice tonight. Are these pajamas new?

Deidara, blushing: Y-yeah …

Sasori: Well, blue silk looks lovely on you. Matches those enchanting eyes of yours.

Deidara, lowering his head so that his hair hides his red face: You flirting with me, old man?

Sasori: *carefully caps the bottle of nail polish sets it on the nightstand before answering* I’m trying to, yes. Apologies for not being very good at it.

Deidara: Not good? You’re great, Sasori. I like your quiet way of saying stuff. Better than the way some of the others in this place would tell me things.

Sasori: What do you mean?

Deidara: Well, like —

Hidan, through the wall: I’d ask him if he had a sunburn or is he just really fucking hot!

Itachi: I’d ask him since when does God let his angels out of heaven?

Tobi, in Obito voice: I’D tell him that I’m no weatherman, but I predict he’s going to get a couple of inches tonight.

Deidara, to Sasori: So yeah. Subtlety speaks volumes, hm.

Sasori: 

[naruto-imagines-and-headcanons]

Naruto Love Languages (Akatsuki)

Pein/Nagato - Physical Touch

Nagato struggles with his public image and personal image. When he is around others he is a god, a highly power who will bring peace. He is held to such a high standard and that comes with a lot of pressure. Inside he feels like just another person, but knows he has to keep up the persona to execute his plan. When you join him in public he boosts you up as his equal, an equal god to rule with him. But when you two get away from others and back into solitude, Nagato just collapses into your arms and wants to stay there all day. Sure he was tons of paperwork to do, but god dammit have you see the state his body is in? He deserves ONE day off. Loves it when you let him lay down on your lap and you play with his hair. While he is definitely more touchy in private, you do notice that in public he will quietly snake his hand into yours and not let go the whole meeting

Konan - Gift Giving

Konan is stoic but very sweet. She's been hurt quite a bit and is afraid to reach out again. Even when dating you for awhile she occasionally catches herself getting comfortable and retreats a bit. You know she means well and understand her struggles, but it does get sad sometimes. Something that doesn't go away though is her gifts to you. Konan loves to make origami for you, and larger paper creations as well. Your favorite animals, your favorite anime characters, she even makes statues of you two together. Seeing your smile when you recieve these makes her heart soar. Giving you gifts is her one way to confidently express her love, and will bring out the most genuine smiles she ever gives

Itachi Uchiha - Acts of Service

Itachi has some issues showing his emotions more directly. He's a man of few words. But what he doesn't say in words he says in actions. He adores taking care of you. He misses taking care of a younger sibling, or just family in general, it makes him feel important. So caring for you feels just as good, even better since you guys get to kiss and cuddle and stuff. Itachi will always be cooking meals for you and picking up around the house. If you ever get sick this man will be at your side the whole time, I'm talking fresh soup and blankets. Sure he may be a full time Akatsuki member, but with you he's like a housewife. And he wouldn't have it any other way!

Kisame Hoshigaki - Quality Time

Kisame is the definition of loyalty. He is already loyal to his friends and teammates, but to you he is unwavering. He'll never lie to you, sell you out, cheat on you, nothing. You're the only one for him. You're so special and are so interesting to him. Spending time with you is bliss for him, even when you just sit around and casually chat. Kisame could listen to your voice and stare at your beautiful face for hours on end. You'll often find him just staring at you smiling sweetly (much to your embarrassment). He'll back off if you tell him to, but will be back at it the next day

Sasori - Quality Time

Sasori values eternity over everything, that's why he turned himself into a puppet. The passage of time won't affect him, and he doesn't want it to affect your relationship either. He's not big on talking or touching, it's more just existing with you that makes him happy. Whenever he works on his puppets he likes to have you in his studio doing your own thing (with the occasional small talk if you catch him on a good day). Sasori thinks in the long term as well, not worrying if you guys just spend a day doing nothing. You have years and years ahead of you, you can spend a day just doing nothing and relaxing. Just be aware he will consistantly try to convince you to become a puppet so you guys can really live for eternity forever

Deidara - Gift Giving

When you and Deidara started dating, he definitely was showing off awkwardly. I'm talking bragging about his achievements, hyping up his fighting skills, stuff like that. He's lucky he's cute cause he could kinda be insufferable lol. But once he got comfortable around you he mellowed out a lot. More genuine conversations, wider range of emotions and vulnerability, and more confident touches as well. Now he can hold your hand without freaking out. Deidara adores giving you gifts most of all though. His art is obviously the best, and you're the best, so you are worthy of it! His gifts range from tiny little birds that tweet your favorite song before poofing into smoke, or a whole giant dragon doing a show and exploding into colorful fireworks. All of Deidara's creations have tons of time and effort put into them to make sure they are the highest quality for you. Everytime there is a new surprise in his clay, and you look forward to it every day

Hidan - Physical Touch

...Are you surprised? Come on let's be real here. Hidan appreciates the more sinful things in life, and that includes your body. He's kind of a douchebag and you each piss each other off alot, but he DOES care for you. He wouldn't want any other partner, you're his favorite little shit and he couldn't dream of losing you. Not to mention this man worships your body. Everything about you is just perfectly carved by Jashin just for him. Pretty much anything you do will turn him on, you're just that sexy to him. Hidan has no shame and will actively start making out and feeling you up in public. Why should he have to wait to get home to ravish you, you look so good right here right now! And he isn't ashamed to show the world how much he loves you, fuck them all. If you manage to hold him off till you get home, the moment you walk in the door he is throwing you over his shoulder and parading to the bedroom

Kakuzu - Quality Time

Kakuzu isn't the most... romantic person in the world. He's a bit difficult to deal with, even in a relationship. Sometimes you wonder why you fell for this guy in the first place. But then he'll ask you to stay with him while he counts money and talk. The whole time he is attentive and engaged, surprising you with his sincerity. He likes to have you around him a lot and will sometimes drag you into the same room as him with no words. Just sit next to him and he's satisfied. Kakuzu is also protective of you more than anyone in his life. Most people he gives no shits about, just ask his previous teammates. But you don't annoy him as much and he found himself genuinely caring for you. So in return he will kill anyone who dares to threaten or hurt you. News flash though, you will always play second fiddle to money

Tobi/Obito - Words of Affirmation

Either persona he chooses uses words to show his affection, just in drastically different ways. As Tobi, he is waaaaaaay more open and extravagent about it. He is gushing about you all the time in front of everyone, constantly bragging about you during meetings, he will not shut the fuck up. The world will KNOW how cool and funny and hot you are. But when he is back to regular Obito, he definitely calms down. He is still very affectionate and vocal, but in a more private way. He saves this sincerity for alone time and very rare outings. These times he feels open to be vulnerable with you and enjoys telling you all the things he holds inside. So no matter what side of Obito you have, you are gonna be treated like a national treasure (Oh but uh, another problem with Tobi is that uh... nothing you guys do will be private. Everything is gonna be broadcasted to the rest of the Akatsuki, so get used to the group knowing what color panties you were wearing)

----------

Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings | Shinobi & Founders | Akatsuki

[or0ch1maru]

••••••CRY BABY••••••

Warnings: none? Crying, being called a cry baby. Sensitive female reader

•

-you were sensitive, always have been, but you never thought you were a cry baby. It wasn’t until you got together with your boyfriend that you realized just how soft you truly are

-“aww, what’s the matter pretty girl?” Your partner coo’s towards you when he walks into your shared room. Seeing your blood shot eyes, mascara smeared under your lashes, and streaks of the black ink stained against your soft skin

-“such a little cry baby, hm?” despite your lover’s teasing, he hates seeing you upset, let alone to the point that tears were shed. He’d kill anybody who upsets you, especially if they called you a cry baby. Only he’s allowed to do that.

-all you manage to mutter out is a faint ‘m sorry”, using your sleeve to wipe away the evidence of your feelings.

-“tsk, none of that baby” his words are soft, devoid of his usual taunting nature. He climbs into bed, wrapping his arms around you, pulling your small frame against his chest.

-you always felt safe around your boyfriend, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable with him. Which, of course, causes you to let out a soft sob and a few more tears, forming a small wet spot against his shirt.

-you relax further into his chest, feeling a large hand move up and down over your back, something he took to the first time you cried in front of him. Something he does to keep you grounded. Focused. Calm.

-“come on, talk to me mama. Let me know what upset my baby.” His voice is gentle, his tone full of patience as he waits for you to catch your breath.

-he’ll never admit it, especially to you, but he loves this. Loves being able to be the one to make you feel better, allowing his own vulnerability to show, which goes against his tough nature. It only fuels his need to protect you

-he loves nothing more than having a cry baby as a girlfriend.

•

SATORU, Suguru, SUKUNA, TOJI, Choso, Renji, KENPACHI, Kakuzu, Hidan, OBITO, Zetsu, Kisame, pain, orochimaru, + whoever else you see fit ^.^

[yowyowyaoi]

*Tobi walks into the Akatsuki hideout carrying a tied and gagged Kakashi in his arms*

Hidan: … what the fuck?

Deidara: No way, hm. Are you telling me that TOBI caught the infamous Kakashi of the Sharingan?!

Kakuzu: Caught, but didn’t kill. May I do the honors?

Tobi: Oh no, Kakuzu-san. Tobi isn’t planning on killing him!

Sasori: Then are you recruiting him into the Akatsuki? Impressive; I must say he’ll make a most powerful addition, to -

Tobi: Kakashi said he’d rather die than be in our group, Sasori-Senpai! But that’s not why Tobi has him anyways!

Konan: Then what —

Tobi: *takes off his mask and speaks in his own voice*

Obito: I’m marrying this man today. Right now. Nagato, you officiate. The rest of you are here as witnesses.

Everyone else:

Hidan: Is … is this a joke?

Obito, untying Kakashi: It’s no joke. I have loved this man since I was a child. I “proposed” to him on Halloween night when we were 10. He said we weren’t old enough. Well, we are now. *takes the gag out of Kakashi’s mouth* Right, Bakashi?

Kakashi: Obito … you can’t be serious here … that was almost twenty years ago! And you’re an S-rank criminal, for God’s sake!  There’s no way I’m going to —

Obito: *grabs Kakashi’s face and very tenderly kisses him*

Kakashi:

Kakashi: Has … has anybody got a suit or kimono I could borrow?

Konan: I have a black one that would fit you well. Give me a moment —

Zetsu: I’ll gather up some flowers.

Itachi: Kisame and I can prepare some food for the occasion —

Deidara: This is so romantic, hm! Come on … *grabs Obito’s hand and pulls him to bathroom* You look like a mess … let’s fix you up nice, hm …

Deidara, over his shoulder: I hope you’re taking notes for the future, Danna —

Sasori: 

Sasori: This is the scariest Halloween I’ve ever been a part of.

Nagato: Same.

[sleepysnk]

NARUTO MEN THAT ARE BRAT TAMERS:

MADARA, OBITO, KAKASHI, pain, hidan, SASORI, itachi, TOBIRAMA, sasuke, JIRAIYA.

[x-emeraldsky-x]

Hidan: Do you think one day I'll be able to find someone. Someone that loves and cares for me even though I'm not that smart, or not as strong as other guys... someone that won't shame me when I'm vulnerable, someone who'll let me cry and still love me when I do...

Obito: Of course, Hidan. You're a good person... under all the murder and foul language.

Hidan: Thanks, man

Deidara: Why the fuck are you in our house, it's 3am.

Hidan: Shut up, Deidara. I'm having a heart to heart here.