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billthedrake · 27 days

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CAMP DADDY

"You got this, Carter," I heard from behind me. It was Dave, the guy at the camp I'd bonded with the most.

I wasn't sure I had it. Over the last week we'd done a lot of challenging stuff... long hikes, swimming races, rock climbing, you name it. But the spelunking was freaking me out a little, between the darkness and the tight spaces. I didn't realize I had claustrophobia, but I guess I did. I was hyperventilating.

"Come on, relax, bro," my buddy said. "One inch at a time. I'm right behind ya, man."

I pushed through. And once I cleared into a bigger part of the cave, I saw more headlamps ahead. I unclenched my held breath.

***

I'd been a real fuck up of a teenager. That's why I was here at this Outward Bound camp. Strike one was shoplifting and getting caught for it. Strike two was yelling at my dad and calling him a piece of shit, on his birthday no less. Strike three was the ketamine use. The next weekend Dad was shipping me off to this godforsaken place in the woods upstate. He wasn't going to pay for baseball, college, or my car if I didn't go. So I did.

The first couple of days I gave a bunch of lip to the counselors. I couldn't stand their fake-cheery demeanor or their 12-step BS. "Stay strong," we had to say at the end of each "huddle" meeting. Like it was fucking church.

But I was smart, smart enough how to play this. I knew I should just lay low, go along with it enough. It was just three weeks.

It helped that I bonded with Dave the first day. He was another baseball jock and cynical too. We made fun of the Sunday School teacher vibe of the lead counselor Mr. Connell. Only at Outward bound we were supposed to call the counselors by first name.

Dave had been there a week. "At least all the physical stuff is good exercise," he said. "I'm actually getting in really great shape for next season."

It was true. There was a gym, too, in the common room of the main cabin basement. Kind of a basic barbells and benches kind of gym but a lot of us jocks would work out together, until I got annoyed by them too. Other than Dave, they all bought into the 12 step crap.

I started talking to Pete, a punk guy with a shaved head and a permanent snarl on his face. He was cool. He wasn't just cynical, he'd talk back to the counselors. But one day he was just gone. No Pete.

***

Maybe unconsciously I was trying to get Pete's fate. Get out of this fucking place. I thought three weeks would go fast, but a week and a half had drained me. I mouthed off to Mr. Connell. Sorry, to "Mike." He smiled in that fakey way and tried to be zen about it. But I was getting to him. After dinner I sulked on my own. I'd started to realize Dave was in on it. Playing normal to get my confidence and win me over to the Program.

I was wallowing in self-pity sure, because I knew I was crushed out on Dave. I'd hidden the gay thing pretty well my last few years, but now I didn't have booze or pot or drugs to push my feelings down. Maybe that's why I was acting out, I don't know. My body was just a mess of hormones and my brain a bunch of conflicted thoughts.

***

I woke up in a room that was identical to the two-bed cabin I'd been sleeping in with another guy Zach. Only it wasn't the same room and there was no Zach. On the other full bed a man sat reading a book, kind of a big beefy-but trim older man, dressed in joggers and a zip-up athletic top that clung to his thick muscle. I thought it was a sex dream, but the second I realized it was real I jolted awake, sitting up straight in my small bed.

"Wait, who are you?" I blurted out. This man wasn't one of the counselors. He was older, with salt-and-pepper hair trimmed short. Probably in his early 50s.

Patiently the man set down his book. He didn't have that fakey-nice look but was on the sterner side of normal. "You can call me Daddy," he said. He had a smooth tenor voice.

This was weirder than a dream. "What the fuck?!" I yelled. "I'm not fucking calling you Daddy. Where's Zach? Where are the other guys?"

He shrugged. "You didn't like the other guys," Daddy explained. "We had to change plans."

I was freaking out now. More than in that dark cave. I jolted up and ran to the door. This cabin wasn't in a big compound but was attached to a single small room with a window overlooking the mountains. I looked back on the bed. The man was surprisingly calm, like he expected my reaction, or worse. That was one thing that made me try to check my emotion, to use my head. I knew how these fuckers worked.

"This is kidnapping," I said. I was realizing I must have been drugged to be moved entirely to this new place.

Daddy shook his head. "Fraid not. And we suggested to your father that we extend your stay here to two months. He agreed it's needed. We'll add more if takes all summer.

I broke down. Tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't going to let this asshole see me cry, and yet I already was. Defeated, I sat on the bed facing away from him.

"It's OK," he said, with terse reassurance. "It's tough here. I'll make breakfast for when you're ready."

***

I gave him the silent treatment. Unlike the Outward Bound counselors he didn't try to make me talk. Maybe he was giving me the silent treatment too, maybe he realized a one-way conversation was useless.

I got dressed and while Daddy was showering up, I stepped out of the small cabin. There was a trail, and it had to lead somewhere. I took one look back into the cabin, then took off.

Fortunately the trail split a few times so if Daddy followed me he'd have a hard time catching up. I don't know why I hadn't thought of escaping before.

I got lost. Real fucking lost. The deeper into the woods I got, the less sense I had of where to go. The day went on. I got hungry. I kept walking. I expected to hear a highway or cars or people or some sign of civilization. Nothing.

I was freaking out. I stopped and sat on a tree trunk. Crying. There was no Dave urging me on. No "stay strong" mantra. No other guys. It was just me, fucking up again. My stomach rumbled, and I felt thirsty. It was getting dusk. I couldn't believe I'd have to sleep out here, but my big fear was wondering if I'd ever get back.

I heard rustling on the trail. Then saw a flashlight and the dark imposing figure of a 6'4" man coming my way. It was Daddy.

"Here," he said, offering me a sandwich and water. "Have this, then we'll head back."

I was too grateful and relieved to mouth off. But on our walk back I had a realization. "You knew I was here," I said.

"Yes," Daddy replied. They probably had a tracking chip in my clothes somehow.

"And you made me wait here alone."

"Yes," he admitted. "You had to learn the hard way, Carter." There was an undercurrent of empathy to his voice.

***

It took me a couple of days, but I opened up. And once I started talking, you couldn't shut me up, it felt like. I talked about my problems, and Daddy listened. It was like a therapy session and a buddy conversation, from breakfast till night.

Daddy was the first man I told I was gay. We were sitting on the Adirondack chairs outside, enjoying the view of the mountains and the sunset and I just went there. I confessed my problems dating girls and the times I got erection problems during sex.

"I told them I was drunk, but I wasn't," I said.

"I'd have done the same," Daddy said in his mellow voice.

That caught me off guard. I tried to read him, but he was still an enigma to me. A flash of me wondered if he was into men. The dude was jacked for his age, and I got a flash of excitement imagining him having sex.

Daddy was counselor, captor, friend, and father figure rolled into one. "What's your deal, man?" I asked. Not hostile like before, but probing. "Here I am spilling my guts out and I don't even know your name."

He smiled but just kept his even manner. "You don't need to know name, just Da..."

"I know," I interrupted. "You're 'Daddy.'"

Something about my exasperated tone made him smile. And maybe relent. "I did Outward Bound when I was your age. I acted out, got into trouble," he explained. "The Program set me straight."

"Was the program as unconventional when you did it?" I gestured around to the isolated cabin where I was more or less hostage.

That got a grin. "More so."

I was curious. "Did you have a Daddy?"

He nodded. "I did." He took a sip from the can of soda. "Later he taught me how to be a Daddy."

I still didn't get whatever psychoanalytic babble the Program was tapping into, but Daddy's words did make me think.

"You know what makes me, mad?" I asked.

"What?"

"This shit's probably working."

That got a chuckle. "You'll be glad when it's over Carter."

It was dark now and it felt darker out here in the middle of nowhere. "You ready for bed, kiddo?"

It was the first time Daddy used that nickname. But I replied I was.

We'd talked so much we were pretty quiet now as we went inside and got ready for bed. Normally Daddy slept in a T-shirt and shorts but that evening he peeled off his shirt. In the lamplight I could admire the powerful chest muscle and ripped abs. Best of all that DILF body was covered in a trimmed coat of salt-and-pepper fur. Before Daddy I didn't realize I was into older men. Now, I had to check my gaze.

"It's ok to look, buddy," the man said. His voice was as soft and encouraging as I'd ever heard it.

"What?" I replied in a checked grunt.

He tossed the shirt aside and turned to face me directly. He was a masculine god, even more alluring for his quiet nature. "It's OK to look," he repeated. "That's what Daddies are for."

The words were fucked up but they gave me a boner, instantly. I couldn't help it.

Daddy saw and was unfazed, peeling down his joggers to show off his soft genitals. That cock was meaty and matched the low-hanging full nuts in their shaved-smooth sac. It wasn't the first cock I'd seen of course, but it was the first live one I'd seen in a sort of sexual situation.

He walked over and pulled down the bed sheets. Daddy's backside was just as magnificent as his front. Strong back and a meaty round ass, the kind I didn't know 50-something men had. But Daddy had one.

My body was shaking, nervously, but the man was acting normal, getting into bed and pulling up the sheet to his abdomen. He gave one more look over.

"If you want to join me Carter, that's your move."

I didn't know if this was some Outward Bound trap or mindgame. A part of me didn't care, I was so horny. It's as if my brain couldn't stop my body from slipping out of my bed and crossing over. The one thing that gave me courage was seeing Daddy scoot his bed to the side to give me room to get in as he lifted the sheet a little. I could see a flash of his erection, even, thick and meaty like him.

"Stay strong, kiddo," he said softly and I nodded, getting into the bed to join him, my body shaking.

"There," he grinned as I finally settled into a lying position next to him. I could feel the heat of his body even if I was afraid to touch him still.

"You're first time with a man?" Daddy asked.

"Yes, Daddy." It was the first time I called him that. It made him smile, which made me glad.

His fingers touched my flank. I was still wearing my shorts but was shirtless and the skin contact felt incredible. This wasn't faking it with a girl.

"You're a very handsome young man, Carter," Daddy said in that soft tenor voice of his. "I'm honored to be your Daddy."

With that the mean leaned in and placed his lips against mine. It was my first kiss with a man, and nothing prepared me for it. A tingle went up my body and my prick surged even harder in my shorts. Particularly when Daddy's tongue pressed forward between my lips and into my mouth.

I was following his lead. Daddy was my coach at that moment. Coach in life and Coach in sex. I couldn't have dreamed of a better one. It was intense and sexual and passionate, but we also took our time.

As we got into it, I got the courage to feel him. His hairy, muscular, warm body. I reached down and touched his cock, hard and alive in my grip. My first dick, and one I'd never forget.

The way I moaned made Daddy pull back from the kiss.

"You like that, buddy?" he grinned.

"Yes, sir," I hissed.

"You like dick," he said with assured ease. "Don't let anyone make you think you're a lesser man because of it."

"No, Daddy," I replied, gripping his boner one last time before relinquishing it. I had to feel up the rest of him, too. More.

He slipped my shorts down, at least from one side till I decided to help him out. My dick was sap-wet and as rigid as I had ever remembered it being.

"You're not the only one," he said. "Not the only young man into dick. Your buddy Dave..." he started.

That jolted me in surprise. "For real?"

Daddy nodded. His hand now circled around my crotch before his fingers grazed my boner. "For real."

I don't know if it was jealousy or something else I was feeling. "You do stuff with him?" I asked.

The man shook his head. "No. He has a different Daddy," he explained, pausing before deciding his could share the information. "Connell."

Well, fuck me, I thought. The last thing I would expect.

Now Daddy's lips were on my neck, kissing me as his hand alternated between massaging my smoother body and stroking my cock. "You up for the full ride tonight, Carter?" he asked.

If he'd asked me that even an hour before, I would have chickened out. But the body contact and the sexual intimacy made me want it all.

"Yeah, Daddy, I do," I answered. "Stay strong, right?"

That got a laugh. He leaned up. I'd never seen him look so hot, so handsome. "Yeah, kiddo... that's right. Stay strong." He leaned in for another kiss, softer this time. It felt right. Righter than right.

Then he started working his way down, kissing my chest and abs, feeling me up some, telling me he was going to take his time.

I got my dick sucked for the first time. I got my balls licked. Then Daddy urged me to pull back my legs and proceeded to give me my first rim job.

I decided then and there that two months here wasn't going to be enough. I hoped my Dad would keep me here the whole damn summer.

"Oh fuck!" I hissed. It was stimulating and naughty and tickling at the same time. I loved getting eaten out. I didn't have anyone to compare it to, but Daddy was a pro. Eager, intense yet also working in some finesse to keep it intersting.

I slowly relaxed my hole. My whole body was relaxed, in fact, lying back into the bed, looking up at the ceiling as I kept my legs pulled back for Daddy.

The first finger entry caught me by surprise. I looked down to see Daddy's brown eyes fixed on me, as he worked his finger in and out.

"Stay strong, buddy," he urged softly.

"Fuck yeah, Daddy," I replied. Trying to be his good soldier. Daddy was gonna make me a man that night, and I wanted to be all man for him.

He finally pulled back and reached over. I didn't even notice the little jar there before, but Daddy unscrewed the lid and dug in. There was some liquidy grease that coated his fingers.

And now my asshole. Damn, it made his two fingers feel incredible going in. And out. And in again.

"Yeah, you're hungry, kiddo."

I grunted. Those fingers were feeling intense in a great way, but short circuiting my thought. I flashed to think of Dave, imagining Mike Connell doing this to him.

A third finger now breached my relaxed ring. It gave a few gentle prods then pulled out.

"You're ready."

The man scooted in place, his hard dick standing straight up from his hairy crotch that was still darker brown than his chest hair. I had felt but not gotten a real good look at his cock, but Daddy was real thick and maybe 6.5 inches in length. The guy was horned up, too, judging by how rigid his meat was. He slathered some of that grease on his boner and pushed it down to line himself up.

"The entry might be tough," he warned. "Or not."

"You better not say, 'Stay strong,'" I joked.

That got a laugh out of the man. "You're all man, Carter," he said.

And like that his cock was breaching my hole.

"Unnfg!" I let out, before I caught myself. The sting surprised me. It didn't hurt too bad, but the unfamiliarity of it freaked me out some.

Daddy's hands rand along my abs, gently, coaxing me silently to relax. I tried, until I was successful. More dick slid into me. The man was patient, but I could tell he was really turned on.

I was getting my cherry taken away, and I was thrilled, particularly when Daddy's cock bored deeper. Weirdly, the deeper the man went the better it felt. Daddy felt bigger than 6.5 inches. Maybe I'd underestimated his size, maybe it was just the psychological effect of having him buried inside me.

"Fuck yeah, kiddo," Daddy growled. "Take it."

I looked up at him. The man was a stud who knew what he was doing. "You done this before?" I asked. "Taken a guy's virginity?"

The question caught him off guard. It was almost like he didn't want to answer me. But he looked down with those soulful brown eyes and replied, "I have, Carter. Many times." He pulled his hips back and thrust in. THAT felt fricking amazing and I held onto his meaty arms. Then again. "But I care about each and every one," he added. His thrusts got faster, as Daddy intuited I was receptive. "I care about you, kiddo."

Daddy was taking me there. Physically and psychologically, he was showing me how amazing getting fucked could be. The man wasn't rough, but he pumped faster and harder. He was teaching me I loved it that way. I held on and looked up at him and felt my prick quiver.

"Fuck me, Daddy!" I hissed.

"Yeah, kiddo. Daddy's got ya." His body seemed in control but his breath was ragged and heavy. The man was turned on like hell.

That thick cock seemed a blur inside me now, its way in my tunnel greased up and the heavy hard rod punching some spot inside me.

I dind't realize I was so close to cumming until Daddy's greased fist wrapped around my bone. Not even needing to stroke it, just touching me made me fire off. I saw white, and my body felt hot and tense, then it all got released with a series of cum shots firing out of my young jock body.

I tried to keep my vision, to look up at Daddy in gratitude. To watch his own O face take over form the calm, collected surety of his experience. That got tossed out the window when Daddy came. He was as lost in pleasure as me. That made me happy.

We crashed together. Holding onto one another's hot sweaty bodies, them our lips meeting to kiss again.

"Oh buddy," he hissed finally. Like I was the one who'd done him a favor. Maybe I had.

We didn't talk after, we didn't need to. Instead, Daddy held me in a spoon position and we drifted off to sleep. At least for a few hours before we had sex again.

***

The next week, Daddy had me pack my backpack, and he led me back to main compound. I would have been sad our alone time was over, but I knew it wasn't going to be our last. Daddy didn't have to tell me. I just knew he'd be in my life from now on and me in his.

Punk dude Pete was back. His hair had grown out and was in a military buzz and his snarl was gone. Dave though was the one who welcomed me first with a bro hug. The other guys followed suit.

I wondered how many of them had a Daddy.

***

I was part of the Program now. Welcoming the newcomers. Bonding with the cynical ones. I'd been where they were and knew what they were going through. I'd been a fuck up, too.

Two months went by quickly. My Dad was there to pick me up. He had an apprehensive look on his face. Connell told me that Dad had been updated on my progress, but after what my father had been through maybe he was nervous I'd not been truly changed.

I had my mobile phone back, and I'd already looked at the last messages multiple times. "Stay strong, kiddo - Daddy." Then "You better stay in touch. Love ya, Carter."

I took one last look and tucked my phone into my pocket before running over to give my Dad a big hug.

"Damn, Sport."

Dad hadn't called me Sport in ages.

"Thank you, Dad," I said. There would be more to say later. But the look on his face was a huge reward. His fingers grazed behind my ear as he held my head steady and looked into my eyes. Like he was reunited with a son he'd lost for real.

"OK if we break up the journey home?" he asked, snapping out of his spell and grabbing my bag from me. "It's a long drive."

"Of course," I said.

We got settled into the front seat and Dad started the car. We made some small talk, and Dad caught me up on life back home. Though I didn't miss much, other than maybe Dad re-treating the wood on the back deck.

We were winding down the mountain and re-entering civilization. At least if these small, one-traffic-light towns counted as civilization.

Dad shifted from the small talk. "So... you survived OK, Son?"

I nodded. "More than survived, Dad. Thrived." I had bought into the whole Program now.

He seemed pleased. "I, um... heard from an old Army buddy of mine," he said. Something in his tone seemed laden with meaning. "He said he got to know you real well."

I blushed. I knew damn well my father was talking about Daddy.

"Yes, sir. We got real tight."

Dad had a good idea of what I meant. He gave a gentle nod and glanced over at me. "I'm glad to hear."

I was chubbing up in my jeans now thinking about Daddy. "OK if I go visit him sometime, Dad?" I asked.

Dad's voice got quiet. "That can probably be arranged."

I thought maybe I freaked my dad out. But we were quiet for a lot of that drive. It had been around 3PM when I'd checked out of the Compound, and it was getting dinner time.

I loved diner food and after two months of Outward Bound meals, I was ready for a real restaurant meal. I scarfed down my food, which amused Dad. "Looks like they haven't been feeding you, Sport," he said.

"They definitely don't believe in creature comforts," I said. I pulled out my phone. "This might have been the hardest thing to live without." I mostly was checking to see if Daddy sent me another message.

Dad laughed. Then he got serious. "So... no hard feelings, Carter?"

I sighed. "God, Dad. After what I did to you? What I put your through? I don't know how to make it up to you."

"You don't have to make anything up to me, Son. Just stay on the straight and narrow. At least till you find yourself."

I took that in. "I'm finding myself, Dad. For real."

"That's all a father can ask," he said.

Dad was normally not great at expressing emotion, and already he was itching to get the check and pay for the meal.

We drove a little bit more. Dad had me find an available hotel that wasn't too expensive. I don't think I realized until we checked in how long of a day it had been. Emotionally as much as anything.

I decided not to check my phone again. Daddy and I would find a groove to correspond and to meet again. I trusted him.

After I brushed my teeth, Dad was in one of the beds, watching TV on low volume. He wasn't build quite as strong as Daddy but his upper body was solid, and he had the same soft furry chest. As I stripped down to my briefs, Dad's eyes watched me furtively. Probing me with soft expectation.

I took the initiative this time. Just feeling Dad's eyes on my half-naked body was all the signal I needed. Pausing at my own bed, I turned back to him. "Ok if I join you instead?" I asked.

Dad was too scared to reply. But he nodded and slid over.

Only when I got into bed with him did I realize that Dad's bod was more solid than I initially thought. His clothes always hid the hard tone of his muscle and he had some love handles that stopped shy of a beer belly.

Our kiss was soft and taboo as fuck. Dad's hands clung to my body, like eagle talons. I pushed my tongue into my father's mouth and felt him plunge his back. Dad didn't kiss like Daddy did. It was hard and needy.

Just as impetuously he and I stripped down our underwear. Our dicks were a lot alike. Longer, regular thickness, with a gentle curve to the right, heaving leaking. Like twins. Dad looked down at mine, like I did at his.

"You're all grown up, Carter."

"Yeah, Dad." I reached down and touched his cock. My dad's cock. He wasn't Daddy, he wasn't my first man, but the forbidden aspect made it off the charts. "I gotta learn to be your son again, though."

Dad gulped. His eyes grew misty wet. "You never stopped, sport. Not even this last year."

We kissed. Dad was responding to my soft approach, like I'd responded to Daddy's. My hand ran along his strong chest and his softer middle as we made out. I felt every bit of guilt for how I'd treated Dad and it was coming out in the only way I knew. Like Dad, I wasn't good at expressing emotion.

But I was good at this.

I broke off the kiss with a playful smile. Dad seemed to be trying to read what I was thinking. I let him wonder a minute longer.

I scooted down, kind of kneeling on the bed, till I was face to face with the dick that made me. I touched it again, feeling its poker hot heat and its steel rigidity. I could smell his masculine scent.

"Sport..." he urged, as if telling me something.

His next words caught in his throat as I took his dick into my mouth. I paused a second. Daddy had instructed me in this, but my father's cock felt particularly dry until I summoned up some extra saliva. Then I went down on him, slowly, teasingly.

I was going to make things up to Dad in the way I knew how.

He placed his hand on my head, softly cradling it as I lovingly blew him to completion.

***

The next morning when Dad was in the shower I sent a text.

"Daddy, you didn't tell me you knew my father."

He was up and the reply was quick. "You had to find out for yourself." Then, "I hope you can be a junior counselor next summer."

I thought of what next year would mean. Being off at college, enjoying some independence. Making new friends.

But I knew that meant nothing. "You know I will," I wrote.

"Stay strong," Daddy replied.

"Stay strong," I wrote back, then set down my phone.

#drakestories

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wangxianficfinder · 1 day

Text

In the mood for...

Sep 23rd

~*~

1. Hi! This is for ITMF. Is there a fic where WWX's friends and family throw children to him either to cheer him up/to calm him/to make him stay put? Its okay if its just mentioned once. Please dont make the children as hostages. Thanks

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) The Wen throw A-Yuan a few times so he can keep still & recover from injuries

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) people use A-Yuan to make WWX calm down when he's struggling with his temper post-war

Go Hiking With a Blindfold On by Hauntcats (Not Rated, 12k, WangXian, WWX & JC, WWX & WQ, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, No Golden Core Transfer, Canon JC Characteristics)

we’re starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 92k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Golden Core Reveal, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Starvation, emaciation, Cannibalism, Self-Harm, Amputation, Suicidal Thoughts, Sunshot Campaign, let JZX and WWX be friends club) chapter 7 onward

~*~

2. hello! Are there any junior quartet shenanigan fics? I want a fic where they are the main or secondary focus :))

matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match by mowochi (T, 21k, LJY & LSZ & OYZZ & JL, JC/NHS, post-canon, outsider pov, canon compliant, matchmaking, fluff, junior quartet dynamics, family bonding, JL pov, getting together)

Lan Sizhui’s Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (T, 22k, ZhuiYi, WangXian, Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Courtship, Misunderstandings, Aged-Up Character(s), Post-Canon, Ensemble Cast, 5+1 Things, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Light Angst, Confessions, Junior Quartet, Fluff)

Trust by FlyingMachine1 (G, 8k, WWX & the Junior Ensemble, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, background wangxian, BAMF!WWX, Humor)

🔒 best friends forever by varnes (T, 16k, WangXian, JL/LJY, JC & WWX, Arranged Marriage, Yungmeng Sibling Reconciliation, Juniors shenanigans)

Onomastic Exercise With The Juniors by ssuibian (G, 1k, Humor, Underage Drinking, (but no one gets drunk), JC has had enough, lots of teasing, Junior Quartet Dynamics, The Juniors are OT4, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian available)

🔒 For Great Justice by aubreyli (G, 8k, WangXian, Humor, Teenage Rebellion, Social Justice, Vigilantism, JL is ancient Chinese Zorro, WWX is everyone's favourite qianbei, The ducklings create the Justice League, OYZZ will probably take over the world one day, Friendship, There should be more fics about friendship, Post-Canon, Podfic Available)

~*~

3. Hello I was wondering if you could make a comp of WWX becoming a god? Like after the siege he becomes one.

🔒💖 Calling Heaven by mondengel (Not Rated, 2k, WangXian, God AU)

In the end by apathyinreverie (T, 4k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, WWX & WN, Canon Divergence, God WWX, WWX ascends, the cultivation world hates it, but they don’t get a say, LWJ is done with the cultivation world, cultivation sect critical)

Meet you at a different place by tawaen (M, 57k, WQ & WN, WN & MXY & WQ, WQ & WWX & WN, Eventual WangXian, Ghost General WN, Ghost WQ, Canon Divergence, WQ comes back to haunt the cultivation world, Bad idea to kill the one person who didn’t kill anyone, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Wen Remnants Deserve Better, Sīsī Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Better, POV WQ)

🔒 Of Destruction and Rebirth by demoniqt (M, 88k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, major character death, rape/non-con, underage, graphic depictions of violence, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, God WWX, God Verse, BAMF WWX, Grieving LWJ, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Gods & Goddesses au, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Rabbits, Fix-It, Attempted Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Castration, Lots of it, repeatedly, Punishment, Hell)

🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)

~*~

4. for the next itmf: looking for some canonverse, post-canon established relationship wangxian porn without plot. ideally less than 15k, nothing going on except them filthy fucking <3 no mpreg though pls

~*~

5. Hey can you recommend some good and angst with happy ending type of nielan works but not modern please.

~*~

6. Hello ! I am looking for fics where Lan Xichen travels back in time, thank you for everything you do! @ayellenne

To Fix Your Twisted Reflection by Dgcakes (ficsnfun) (M, 167k, 3zun, time travel fix-it, slow burn, trust, healthy relationships, or at least trying) 3zun time travels

🔒💖 The blame game by apathyinreverie (T, 13k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, WWX & WQ, LXC & WWX, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, possessive LWJ, oblivious WWX, fluff, siblings, romance, golden core reveal, golden core fix-it)

Intriguing by nirejseki (G, 6k, JGY/NMJ, NHS/LXC, Matchmaking, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Crack, a look inside NHS's brain, oblique reference to ADHD)

🔒💖 Drag Me Into Your Coffin (I Will Drag Your Sins Into the Light) by the5leggedCricket (G, 2k, canon divergence, temporary character death, time travel fix-it, BAMF LXC)

🔒💖 Alternative Choices by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud) (T, 20k, wangxian, time travel, butterfly effect, LXC pov, protective LXC, temporary character death, mpreg, panic attacks)

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) link in #1 this is similar. WWX is the one to actually travel in time, but LXC uses something similar to empathy to share his memories so he also has experienced the original timeline

3Zun Fixit AU Series by Eleanor_Fenyx (E, 132k, 3Zun, Angst with a happy ending, Time Travel, Established Relationship, Hurt/comfort, Fluff) is one where LXC isn't actually the time traveler but has him waking up in the altered timeline (at an earlier point) with all his previous memories intact so it's similar-ish?

~*~

7. ITMF: WQ and JYL bullied WWX so he can take care of himself better. If you can, where WQ and JYL worked together or they are friend (i just want WWX has his older sisters together where they are not enemy or jealous of each other, please). It doesnt have to be the focus of the story. Thanks

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 120k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, SongXiao, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Needs A Hug, Women Being Awesome, BAMF Women, Minor Character Death)

~*~

8. Hey, I'm looking for fics where it's pointed out that just because Wei Ying is smiling at someone and laughing with them and talking sweetly and complimenting them, doesn't mean he's flirting with them and trying to send signals.

Not trying to rant but I'm fed up of lan zhan accusing him of leading on people and madam yu and Jiang Cheng's opinion doesn't help.

I just need someone to point out how wrong it is.... @constellationdks

~*~

9. wangxian fix where Wei wing is a omega and lan zhan is the emperor and it’s a omega verse and af the end lanzhan turned dark @you-saidwhat

~*~

10. Hello! Thank you for all your work! I’m ITMF some cute kid fics!! I read The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane and I loved it so much, I need more!!

🔒 so take my hand (take my whole life too) by cicer (E, 92k, wangxian, Modern, Accidental Baby Acquisition, oh my god they were roommates, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, this fic is not about trauma, it’s about the yearning, slowburn, some characters have a pretty strong bias against folks with drug addiction, (this does not reflect the author’s opinion of people with addiction disorders!), none of the really grim abuse/drug use affects our main characters, and it takes place offscreen)

box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher LWJ, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

The Late Great Custody Debate by stiltonbasket (G, 9k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX & JYL, modern, Domestic Fluff, baby a-yuan, Single Parent WWX, LWJ is a confused rabbit owner, nielan are married, nhs is: xoxo gossip girl, Custody Arrangements, engagement, Confused WWX, WWX voice: if i’m the one with the kid why are you suing ME for child support?, LWJ kills his own love life in the worst way, Happy Ending)

Accidental Uncle Acquisition series by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 13k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Modern, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Fluff, Podfic Available, Kid Fic, Soft WangXian, Matchmaking, Humor, shark week)

🔒 Lost Boys by raitala (E, 115k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, Modern, Kid Fic, Gen or Pre-Slash, hints of wangxian, finding your found family, A-Yuan is a sweetie, Emotional Baggage, LWJ is on the Asexuality Spectrum, Neurodivergent LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, sugar daddy LWJ, LSZ is the bestest boi, LWJ is trying his best, WWX needs a hug, background societal homophobia, Grief/Mourning, Under-negotiated Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Mild Painplay, Sharing a Bed, Family Feels, Nice LQR, Adoption, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Spit Kink, Slow Burn)

~*~

11. Hii, itmf fics, definitely Canon but with additional powers other than cultivation, like elemental control and such , ( bonus if its just wwx or lwj that achieve these things) thx!

~*~

12. Hi! I don’t really know how this asking thing works but I really liked paint smears on sunny days and was wondering if you could recommend fics with similar premise or vibe? Also thank you for your hardwork in general.

我爱你 Collection of the_marathon_continues, multiple bookmarks

three stories from trippednfell have a similar vibe (but tend to have more angst than Paint Smears): 🧡 Where’s Your Emergency? by trippednfell (M, 64k, WangXian, 911 Dispatcher WWX, Single dad LWJ, Kid fic, Modern AU, D&D Games, Angst with a happy ending)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, Modern AU, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 62k, wangxian, Modern, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, the wangxian Hallmark Movie AU no one asked for, plot and title were randomly generated, Kidfic, Disabled Character, debilitating injury as substitute for missing golden core, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guest starring Lan Zhan’s sky blue coat, The Coat deserves its own tag, disordered eating habits - not a major plot point, WIP)

~*~

13. Are there anymore fics out there like By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller? Fics with the premise that WWX is in MXY’s body and sort of side steps the plot? Thank y’all for all your hard work!!

~*~

14. Hiiiii, thank you for the help. I have a few different ITMF if that’s ok. A) fics about reborn WWX getting his old face and body back. It can be sudden or slowly. B) abusive Madam Yu fics where WWX is abused. C) fics where WWX has severe injuries or chronic pain from burial mounds or the war. @plzloveme

14A)

Saw My Life in a Stranger’s Face by timetoboldlygo (T, 27k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, wwx’s face changes post-canon to look like his original face, Slight Panic Attack, because lwj doesn’t recognize his husband, the mortifying ordeal of not knowing your own body, the terrifying inevitability of change, taller!wwx theory)

14B)

so i cut the shackles and changed my name by MichelleFeather (T, 30k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, LQR & CSSR, LQR & WWX, CSSR/WCZ, WWX & The Lan Clan, WIP, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, WWX is a Lan, Good Uncle LQR, Supportive LQR, Protective LQR, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, JFM & YZY Bashing, Jiang Family Bashing, Abusive Jiang Family, Running Away, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Hurt WWX, Genius WWX, No Sunshot Campaign, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cultivation Sect Politics, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Canon Divergence, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, WRH isn’t a power hungry tyrant, mostly)

Scars of Lightning by The_peregrine_falcon (T, 6k, YZY & WWX, WWX & WRH, WangXian, YZY’s A+ Parenting, Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Wen WWX, zidian, YZY is a bitch, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Heavy Angst, Lotus Pier, Nightless City, Young WWX, Muteness, Hurt kind of comfort)

🔒💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiāng Family Bashing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

🔒🧡 Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 60k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death, Depression, Psychological Trauma, Justice, Fear, Angst, No War AU, Attempted Murder, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LXC, Podfic Available, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Romantic Gestures, Recovery, POV LWJ, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad)

14C)

🔒 How to Treat Your Injured Yiling Laozu by merakily (T, 3k, wangxian, Chronic Pain, Whump, Love Confessions, Literal Sleeping Together, Burial Mounds, Golden Core Reveal, LWJ has a lot of feelings about WWX being in pain, Hurt WWX)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 96k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Disability, Scheming NHS, Disabled Character)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence) link in #1

Rest and Care series by meyari (T, 62k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, very little hurt, lots of comfort, Chronic Illness, Serious Injuries, Self-Medication, Disability, PTSD, Depression, Self-Worth Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aftermath of war, Aftermath of Violence, Prisoner of War, Identity Issues, Warning: JGS enslavement (discussion of), abuse (discussion of), actually very fluffy, despite the warnings, Fluff and Crack, dubious academic writing, Historical Research, Modern Era, Good YZY, Good Person SS, Reincarnation)

~*~

15. I have been into serial killer Wangxian fics recently but I can’t find many so I was wondering if you had any @wrappedaroundxielian

~*~

16. Hi, I'd like some recommendations for fics that have the juniors meet teenage wangxian! Whether it's time-travel or wangxian reverting to their teenage forms, it's all good- so long as it's NOT a fix-it! Just plain 'ol fluff, please. @a-fire-that-isnt-burning

Time Travel, Obviously by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, Time Travel, Crack) the Juniors only meet Wei Ying in this one

~*~

17. Hello! For itmf could you help me find any fic (au or canon) that focuses at least somewhat on lwj realising he is in love?

Like at first he finds wwx annoying but quickly notices he is attractive. Then he notices that wwx is annoying hot and charming. THEN he notices that he is annoying, hot, charming and brillant. And when he finds out wwx is also KIND on top of all of this he is like fuck i am in love and not just weirdly attracted to this other dude!

Thank you!

🔒in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric)

soften you by Solarlwj ( M, 14k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Touch-Starved LWJ, Mutual Pining, Hurt/comfort, Light angst, Friends to Lovers)

🔒Tangible by apathyinreverie (T, 2k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Humor, Possessive LWJ, First Kiss, Getting Together, the library scene)

Three changes. by orange_crushed (M, 18k, wangxian, fluff, hijinks & shenanigans, cloud recesses shenanigans, no war au, everyone lives au, romantic comedy, fade to black, friends to lovers, falling in love, harm to animals, non-graphic violence, sparring, developing friendships, hurt/comfort, first time)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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venileix · 5 months

Text

𝜗𝜚 .River's Edge

PAIRING: Scott Barringer x F!reader SYNOPSIS: Tension is heavy between you and Scott and the others thought of a bonding exercise to help you make up. WARNINGS: first post!, established relationship, jealous Scott, slight angst?

⋆𝜗𝜚˚｡⋆

You simply could not understand why Scott was so mad. Raking your mind of the past few days, you were almost positive you hadn't done a thing.

It didn't take long for the others to catch on to Scott's behavior, especially towards you and anybody who tried to talk to you. So the group decided to orchestrate the perfect little getaway for the two of you.

It was a difficult task to find a way for the staff to fall blind to two students disappearing for a few hours, but the plan was almost perfect.

The next morning, the plan was put into action. The Saturday sun beamed down on you as you hiked the trail through the woods, Juliette just ahead of you, leading you to a spot she was telling you about at breakfast.

You were suspicious of her as you follow, there was no chance Juliette had a spot in the woods that she found.

The sounds of calmly flowing water got louder as you walked, the nearing river drowning out Juliette's ranting.

"Where exactly are you taking me?" Out of the years you had been at Mount Horizon you weren't very close to the girl in front of you, so the confusion hadn't left you since you both split from the cabin that morning.

"You're so impatient," Juliette rolled her eyes, "We're practically there." You didn't get the chance to respond as you freeze at the sight in front of you.

Scott and Auggie stood on the river's edge, and the confusion grows further through your chest as Auggie shoves Scott further towards the canoe resting on shore.

"Juliette, what exactly is going on?" Your voice was low, but the sound of your footsteps must of alerted the boys a couple ways down the small hill as they both snap their heads in your direction.

"Just give it a chance," The girl drags you towards the pair on the shore, "Please."

You roll your eyes, letting her lead you towards the last person you wanted to see right now.

"Nice of you to finally join us," Auggie smirked, watching the way your eyes narrowed at the three people around you.

"Can somebody just tell me what's going on?" Your chest tightened as you noticed Scott's annoyed glare on you and Auggie.

"Well," Juliette grins next to you, her shoulders straightening, "The group thought it would be good to let the two of you have some time together."

Scott scoffs, "We spend time together."

Auggie shakes his head, bringing his hand up to the boy's shoulder, "Well, now you get to spend more together. Now get in the damn canoe."

Juliette was quick to also push you in the same direction.

Soon you found yourself in the middle of the calm river across from your boyfriend, void of any paddles to be able to get yourself back to shore. Auggie said it was to make sure we actually spent the time together, or whatever.

It was silent for a while, you were stuck in your thoughts. Why hadn't Scott been talking to you lately? It did actually feel like forever since you hung out. Maybe you did something wrong? Did you overstep on any boundaries?

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Scott's voice startled you, your eyes jumping up to meet his as he sat across from you in the narrow canoe.

"Did I do something to upset you?" Your voice was quiet, and you felt small under his stormy blue eyes.

It looked as if he was struggling to form the right words as the corner of his lips tugged down.

"Do you like Auggie?" The question took you completely off guard as your eyes widen in surprise, a confused laugh ghosting over your lips.

"Auggie? God no, he's so in love with Juliette, it's honestly comical at this point!" Despite your attempt at lightening the mood, Scott still seemed ticked off.

"Really? He seemed to be real into you the other day at the bonfire," He turned his gaze away from you, refusing to meet your eyes again.

"Scott," you try to meet his eyes, sighing as he doesn't make any movement, "I was helping him with ideas for asking Juliette out."

You watched as his hands tightened into a small fist, "You were practically on top of him!"

You scoffed, crossing your arms, "Juliette was a couple feet away from us, he didn't want her to hear us!"

He didn't say anything, just flexing his hand in annoyance, still refusing to look at you. "Scott."

It all made so much sense now, Scott was jealous.

His blue eyes slowly turn towards yours again, a frustrated glare making them appear darker than usual.

"I love you. You are the only person I want to be able to know me the way you do. The only person I want to see me how you do."

That was the first time either of you had said those words to the other.

In the flash of an eye Scott closes the distance between you, catching your lips in a love filled kiss.

"I love you." He grinned into the kiss, and you would never complain about his switch up in moods in this moment.

You push him away gently, smiling sweetly as you stare into him, feeling the relief flowing through his veins.

You lean back but the sudden movements rock the canoe and in the blink of an eye you find yourself submerged into chilled water.

Hands find your waist, and as you open your eyes, the dark water is brightened by beams of light around you. The blue eyes in front of you are like a saving grace as they peer into yours.

Breathing feels like a distant thought as his eyes search your own, and with a wide, closed-lipped smile you tug his face towards you, this time it's you bringing him in for a kiss.

He responds immediately, wrapping his arms further around your waist, the cold water long forgotten as your lips move in sync.

Letting this moment sink in for as long as possible, the internal fight for air wins as you drag your bodies up, breaking the surface and separating for breaths.

The two of you swim to shore, tugging the canoe in tow.

Logically, you knew you probably didn't have a lot of time left, knowing the group can keep the staff distracted from your disappearance for only so long.

But you ignored that, instead choosing to sit in comfortable silence with your head on Scott's shoulder as you sat on some rocks on the river's edge.

With the affection from your boyfriend back, you both complied ideas to pitch to Auggie about how to win over Juliette.

#i actually need him #hayden christensen #scott barringer #higher ground #mount horizon #hayden christensen scott barringer #one shot

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joshleyson · 2 months

Text

Life Update + Postcards from Mount Pulag

If there's one thing I'm particularly proud of that I did this year in the name of self-care, it is using my Apple Watch for what it was designed to do and being mindful of closing my rings on the Fitness App, which includes meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise requirements for the day.

Last weekend, I went on my first major walk this year, to Mount Pulag in Benguet, the majestic and highest mountain in Luzon. For the first time ever, I was able to set a *drum roll please* record-breaking 42K steps, perhaps more because my watch died in the middle of the climb. It never occurred to me to go on this ALMOST 10-hour hike until J, who by the way was a famous OG Tumblr influencer during the peak Tumblr era circa 2012 (if you know him, mag-asawa ka na hahaha), introduced me to the idea of going to Baguio (I haven’t been to Baguio since forever) and eventually having to explore Mount Pulag after. J and I have known each other for over 12+ years, but it was only this year that we began to see each other more frequently; he is also the person who introduced and challenged me to finish my rings on the Fitness app. I began this "ring" journey at the end of March, but I wasn't fully committed until I started seeing some, hmm, what's the word, "changes" when I started monitoring my InBody results, which show my weight, BMI, muscle mass, and even body fat percentage decreasing. Long story short, I'm making some small progress with trying to make my BMI normal again. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint the typical fitness buff image with raging, strong-looking muscles, because that's not who I am, but I wanted to give myself credit also for losing 10kgs in just 4 months, and I'm not even pulling my hair out about it, just that awareness of "Did I close my rings today?" moment. Like I told J, I never expected accountability to feel this good. So I'm quite delighted with that.

Enough of the fitness thingee and going back to Mount Pulag, I'm so happy that we were able to pull it off this year. We started by staying in Baguio for 2 days which by the way the weather was THE. BEST. Having to walk around the city in layered clothes without breaking a sweat as a pawisin was HEAVEN. It was something that I missed when I went back to Manila. After 2 days, we headed straight to Kabayan, Benguet, where our homestay was located, and by midnight started our trek to Pulag summit. The trek was surprisingly easy. The quiet and quaint landscapes while on our way to the summit were something that I enjoyed so much. It was tiring and yes, the weather was extremely cold. Miss Hypothermia is REAL especially on the summit but with the right amount of clothing, it's no biggie. Just do a little bit of research before signing up for the hike and you'll be just fine. On that trip, we met and bonded with new faces which I hope soon will become friends because they're nice to be with which made the hike bearable. Being the beach person that I am which is very OBVIOUS on this blogosphere, exploring the mountains and the countryside was very refreshing to see and I kinda wanted to make that commitment to at least do this at least once a year. Let's see!

(No Light Pollution? Here's the Milky Way captured in the default iPhone camera app.)

Overall, the Mountain Province trip including late-night walks in Baguio, wandering to places and cafés and bar hopping walking side to side because we’re drunk AF, and then Mount Pulag was something I'm so grateful for that I get to check them out this year. There were "unplanned" and "down" moments on that trip, sure, but I guess that's just normal, especially since I'm with the person I wanted to get to know more, and J, if you're reading this, thank you. I feel like all the things that happened on that trip have a reason and I just wanna say thank you for being…you. I will not be surprised if one day that rough idea of a psycho-thriller slasher movie we kind of created while sitting on a bus will soon come to life. Write that fucking screenplay. PLEASE.

So that's my not-so-quick life update that no one asked about. I think I mentioned before in this space that the more I have something "major" going on with my life whether professional or personal, I am less inclined to talk about it versus in my heyday, loud, teenage years and I think that's what really living is all about. Touch some grass they say, and literally, I did that in the mountains of Mount Pulag, and those memories which I hope I could bottle, and that seeing something so beautiful is enough to remind me that everything's gonna be alright.

Siri, play Gravity by Sara Bareilles, JOSHY

(Mountain Province, July 2024)

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kaladinsspear · 13 days

Text

Self indulgent fluffy modern Shakadolin AU. Because I love them.

* Kaladin is ex army. One of those people who was special forces and therefore “officially” sat on his butt and did nothing for all 6 years of his service. He didn’t of course, but his entire file is redacted so he gets nothing. No disability (how could he have ptsd? He was “never deployed”) no VA support, no GI bill, nothing.

* He is now working for Amazon as a delivery driver while he goes to school. He started premed, but ended up switching to psychology. He’s especially interested in the body/mind connection. Not necessarily medication (though, he does support its use when needed) but more things like diet, sleep, exercise, and how your physical health affects your mental/emotional health.

* He volunteers at the local animal shelter where he takes dogs on hikes each week. This is how he met Syl.

* Syl is a Veterinarian. She volunteers at the local animal shelter as well, and the two quickly became close friends. They currently share an apartment.

* They tried dating for about a week (heteronormativity ya know?) but decided that it wasn’t for them. They love each other deeply and would consider each other life partners, but they don’t love each other romantically.

* Shallan works at one of those “paint with me” art studios. She has a degree in….drawing? (Sorry! I don’t know what the specializations are in art school!) and takes commissions for technical illustrations on the side.

* She loves the Wheel of Time series and has a thriving fan art instagram and tumblr.

* She met Jasna when she was in school. Jasna was her history professor and quickly became her mentor. Somewhere between a mother and older sister with a little bit of a crush thrown in. Not that Shallan would ever actually want to be in a romantic relationship with Jasna, but she so pretty, and smart, and opinionated, and bold, and…… ya know?

* Jasna is the one who introduced her to Adolin, and he and Shallan hit it off right away.

* They dated for about 3 years before getting married. They are sickeningly adorable.

* Adolin served in the military as well because it was family tradition, but didn’t make the career out of it that was expected of him.

* Adolin was a Marine, and his service is on record. He gets a nice GI bill which he is using to study physical therapy.

* Turns out, Adolin and Kaladin go to the same school.

* At first they are kind of indifferent to each other, but soon bond over shared military experience and an interest in whole body health.

* Adolin introduces Kaladin to Shallan and the two hit it off super well.

* Fortunately, they are all adults who know how to talk to each other and Shallan and Adolin have discussed polyamory before, all be it in hypothetical terms.

* Adolin is actually the one to bring it up to Kaladin, just to make sure Kaladin doesn’t feel pressured or sneaky. All 3 of them have a conversation about what a relationship might look like, and they decide to try it out.

* Turns out, it works great for them. Kaladin and Adolin have a delightful bromance thing going on. They probably wouldn’t have gotten together without Shallan, but they love each other deeply and enjoy their relationship.

* Shallan and Syl are super close as well, and they enjoy drawing together and discussing the Wheel of Time.

* Syl and Adolin get super into cosplay and make fantastic creations together.

#my thoughts #stormlight archive #aus #stormlight archive aus #kaladin #shallan davar #adolin kholin #shakadolin #modern au #please if you have anything to add to this I want to hear it

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nightmarevore · 3 months

Text

Craving — The Hike

Luke invites his new roommate, Rowan, on a hike. The two get lost, and Rowan's hunger gets the better of him....

Contains: Soft vore, safe vore, same size, inexperienced prey, male pred, male prey, minor injuries.

Words: 7,075

Ao3 Link.

The prequel to "I Get a Craving and I Wake Up For You"

Luke’s new roommate was such a strange one. He had a habit of keeping to himself, though Luke hadn’t the damndest clue why. Luke had just moved in and needed a roommate to help pay the rent, and this Rowan guy seemed like the better applicant than all of the other ones he got. He promised Luke quiet time during most hours and rent paid on time. Which was good! A loud, obnoxious roommate was one of the last things Luke needed in his new apartment.

What he didn’t expect though, was someone so… distant. Rowan hardly came out of his room. The only time he did so was to grab food or scribble something into a notebook in the living room. He at least wanted to get to know the person he would be living with. Especially since he was relatively nice looking. Handsome, even. It wasn’t hard to admit that the boy had a bit of a crush on the other.

Something something something you have a type, and it’s jocks.

After some time of giving Rowan some time to settle in, Luke knocked on his door inviting him to go on a hike with him. It’d be good for exercise, and though Rowan looked like he didn’t need it, it was at least a nice bonding activity. They could talk on the trail and get to know one another. It was a sound plan.

“This is one of my favorite trails.” Luke begins, stepping a foot forward. He holds a hand over his eyes, blocking the sunlight. There’s a long walk ahead of them, but they can make it.

“…Mhm.” Rowan responds from behind him, taking a few steps forward to walk closely behind the other.

Luke thinks about how mysterious Rowan is. Even now, he’s mysterious. Distant. What kind of person is he? He works out, that much is clear. They spoke before in the past, but nothing like full conversations. It made the boy a bit sad.

This is going to fix that, though. He knows it will.

With determination in his eyes, Luke removes the hair tie from his wrist and pulls his hair back into a messy bun. He turns to Rowan, motioning forward, and then taking off with a fast walk.

“What do you do for a living anyway, Rowan? I feel like you’re some kind of cryptid.” Luke speaks up with a cheeky smile on his face.

Rowan snorts, trailing behind his roommate. Luke wants to play small talk? Best to play along for now.

“I’m in between jobs.” He states bluntly. Best not to get anymore deep than that, right? He has no business knowing more about him. It’s best if he keeps to himself. For Luke and for himself.

Despite how nice his new roommate seems.

Rowan isn’t one for conversation, is he? He expected that to sort of go on for a bit longer, but it didn’t. He’s not much for conversation, is he? He’d be able to get something out of him, right? They are living in the same space after all. They should at least know a little bit about each other.

“So… Cryptid. Alright! That’s fine, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” Luke’s smile remains, and Rowan scoffs.

This is just a ploy to get him talking, isn’t it? Luke doesn’t… need to be close to him. He doesn’t hate Luke, he just…. His condition makes things hard. He just needs someone to pay rent with and move on.

“You’re not much of a talker, huh?” Luke asks, shrugging. “Anyway, you go hiking before?”

Rowan’s eyes gaze along the trees they walk past. This place is beautiful. He has to wonder just how Luke found this place. He glances back over to the shorter man, making sure he hadn’t fallen behind. Maybe cryptid wasn’t far from the truth.

“Once or twice, when I was younger.” Rowan answers.

“Did you have any good paths here? I think I got a bit lucky, finding this one for us. I’ve walked this trail, but never this path. It’s quite beautiful.”

“Don’t remember.” Rowan lies. He doesn’t need to tell Luke he never lived here before. Luke doesn’t need to know he’s from out of town. Luke doesn’t need to know his past or his childhood. Why’s he being so pushy, anyway?

Rolling his eyes to himself, Rowan continues to admire the nature that surrounds them. The environment sort of seems to blend together. Between the trees and the rubble, it all looks the same. There’s more trees. More dirt. Maybe a giant rock. In fact, there’s even a bridge over a large pit up ahead. That one is a bit new.

“You’re fun at parties.” The shifter offhandedly comments as they walk across the bridge. Luke looks down, raising an eyebrow and watching the height. More trees down there. Maybe wildlife?

Regardless, this is a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. Rowan isn’t really… engaging in conversation. Maybe something, but three or more words isn’t really enough to go somewhere. Swallowing his anxiety, as they make it across, Luke turns on the path’s fork, going off on where he thinks the path might lead to. Looking behind, he sees Rowan still following him. He looks like he’s off in his own world.

Luke places his hands in his pockets as his eyes trail to the ground. He didn’t know what to say at the moment. What could he even say that Rowan might not shoot down?

“You play any games?” He chimes in.

“Eh… sort of.” Rowan responds.

“Yeah? What kind?”

“Whatever looks good.”

“Yeah? what’s that?” Luke raises an eyebrow, turning to walk backwards as he faces his roommate.

Rowan chuckles, shaking his head. This trick of Luke’s—He’s going to hurt himself.

“I dunno, I—… I dunno, man. Whatever. You’re gonna get yourself hurt if you don’t walk forward.” Rowan attempts to avoid the question. Maybe coming on this hike with him was a bad idea.

“What? Nuh-uh, this is fine. Look, I’m totally and completely f—Wuh…!!” Luke’s foot slips, and suddenly he’s falling off the trail and down a hill. His hand reaches out, but he falls too quickly.

“Luke!” Rowan calls after him, jumping forward. It looks like a steep drop, and Luke is still falling.

Holy shit, Rowan thinks to himself. He has to go after him. Because he’s dumb, he does. He jumps off the trail and digs his heels into the dirt and slides down, following the path that his roommate made on the way down.

“Luke!!” Rowan calls out, looking down. It looks like he disappeared along some shrubs at the bottom.

“I’m okay! I’m alive!” Luke responds, clearly winded. He huffs, terrified. His hand clutches the fabric of his shirt in his hand, and his eyes stare straight up at the line of trees above.

Rowan arrives at the bottom, skidding against debris of rock, soil, and leaves.

“Jesus Christ, man! You’re gonna give me a heart attack. I literally just said you were gonna hurt yourself.” Rowan’s voice is filled with worry. Luke smiles at this, thinking that Rowan does, in fact, care.

“Awww… you’re worried about me.” The man on the ground attempts to push himself up, but he hasn’t fully recovered from all the flips and tumbling that just happened. There’s definitely gonna be a few bruises.

“Shut up.” The other stands by Luke’s side, holding his arm and helping him up. “Can you stand?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little confused. Nothing’s broken.” Luke smiles.

“Good. No idea where we are, though.” Rowan checks over his roommate one more time. He just has a few scratches here and there. Which is good, really. Things could’ve ended a lot worse. A slight pang hits the back of Rowan’s mind. He thinks that Luke smells quite sweet, actually. Maybe even delicious.

The pang hits his stomach.

Oh, dear god, no.

Rowan pulls his hands away from Luke. He fucking forgot to eat before they left. He forgot to eat this week. He thought he didn’t need it, so it wasn’t on his list of priorities. Maybe he can fix it when they get back? The only issue now is getting back. They’re far beyond any sort of trail now. If they end up being out longer than expected….

Rowan bites his lip, holding his breath.

“I think we need to get home. A-and get you, um… Y’know, taken care of.” Rowan spits out.

“Oh! Right, of course.” The size shifter looks down to the ground, getting a feel for his feet again. No more walking backwards. Got it. “I sort of know this trail. I think we’ll be back on track if we go this way.”

Pointing in a direction, Luke motions for Rowan to follow.

He’s not sure how Luke can just tell where they’re going, especially now. Each mini tower of tree just kind of looks the same. They all do. Same enough to blend together.

He just has to bite the bullet and follow him. To trust him.

. . .

“Not to be a dick, Luke, but when do you think we’ll get back?” Rowan raises his voice, speaking up. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since they last made a turn. Trees, shrubs, and the occasional log mix together in one bland pallet. Rowan thinks his stomach is beginning to hurt.

“I-I dunno…. I kind of…. I dunno.” Luke mumbles, lost in his thoughts. He’s beginning to regret this, wondering if this was a good idea at all. Between Rowan refusing to really engage and Luke falling and hurting himself, this was starting to be a disaster. “Why?”

Rowan tenses up, eyes widening.

“N-no reason.” The man places his hand over his stomach, wincing at the sudden sharp pain that shoots through his stomach so quickly.

Everything is fine. Things are fine. Rowan hopes they’re not too far away from the correct trail so they can get back on track and home. The pain dissipates, but he knows it’s not for long. He knows it’ll get worse the longer this goes on.

Luke turns to look at his estranged roommate, raising an eyebrow. His expression speaks louder than his words. ‘No reason,’ he says while he looks like he’s annoyed to hell and back. Is he making that bad of an impression? Maybe it’s the fact they’re lost.

Lost…. He hadn’t thought that until just now.

“I need you to not be mad, but I think we’re lost. Like, maybe we took a wrong turn.”

Rowan chews at his lip, grumbling. Fuck.

“Awesome.” Sarcasm seeps from the predator’s words, and it’s then he knows agreeing to this was a bad idea. He thought maybe giving Luke this one interaction would satisfy his curiosity, but now he knows he shouldn’t even have done that. Now, Rowan finds himself needing to keep his mouth shut. His sharpened teeth are beginning to show in full force; a display of the man’s gnawing hunger. He can’t even hold them back correctly.

Shit, he didn’t think this would happen so fast. His hunger has never hit him this hard before. Could it be the moment? His nervousness and anxiety? His hand’s grip on his middle tightens. The ache in his belly trembles in and out in waves far more aggressive than before. Luke’s smell…. it’s enough to make him drool. God, he hopes he doesn’t.

“Listen, I-I’m sorry, I know this sucks. But we can find our way back. I know we can. It’s not all bad, yeah? This trail isn’t too big.” Luke motions for Rowan to follow him, huffing and biting his lip. This is fine. Everything is fine. They’ll be able to get back on a decent trail. To get back home. Luke can just… pretend he didn’t fuck everything up. “Let me know if you recognize anything? It can help get us back on track. If you were paying attention.”

“Uh, yeah… Sure. Will do.”

Just keep walking, Rowan. Ignore the pain. Just keep walking. Walking behind Luke. If he can just stay out of Luke’s line of sight, he wouldn’t have to notice how awful he looks right now. The two trek aimlessly forward.

This isn’t getting any easier. In fact, it’s getting worse. Every step led to more, intense pain. Longer pangs of starving hunger. His stomach fighting his body—Demanding a meal. And that horrifies him. In fact, as Rowan’s eyes land on Luke’s back, watching his hair bounce in his bun, watching his arms move as he walks, he begins salivating.

No, absolutely not. This isn’t a fugue. Rowan still has his mind. He’s not about to ruin what’s supposed to be a fresh start with his stupid Predator bullshit. If he just holds on a bit longer, then he can make it and just pay off some random in the town to sit in his stomach for a while….

Rowan’s arms both wrap around his core, hoping it’d somehow stop the pain. Which doesn’t work, because of course it doesn’t. Rowan’s stomach lets out a pained, hollow empty cry. He’s doomed.

“Whoa, someone’s hungry.” Luke chimes in, keeping his eyes forward. Did Rowan not eat before they left? The thought almost makes Luke feel even worse. He’s so clumsy, his fall got them in so much trouble. With how distant Rowan is, he wouldn’t be surprised if he hated the man. Luke would hate him if he was in Rowan’s shoes.

He huffs, shaking the thought. Focus on the surrounding nature and push through.

With another sound coming from Rowan’s stomach, even louder this time, Luke’s brows furrow and he stops to turn around and look at him.

“Did you skip breakfast or something? Dude, we could’ve gotten something for you on the way here, you know!” The size shifter speaks, placing his hands on his hips.

Luke suddenly turning around startles Rowan. This isn’t good.

“No, no, it’s…. It’s fine, I just—… Uh, I didn’t—“ The predator’s mind blanks. The churning and full on punches in his gut are nearly unbearable. Fuck, Rowan is hungry. He fails to hold back a subtle hiss at a particularly large pang of hunger. He breathes through his teeth, his lips curling back lightly and showing off his sharpened canines mindlessly.

He really can’t hold this back any longer, can he? Rowan’s focus lands on Luke’s somewhat surprised and terrified expression.

Rowan really is a monster.

Luke thinks Rowan looks absolutely terrible. He looks pale. He’s hugging his stomach, and his teeth…. Were they always sharp?

“Uh….” Not knowing how to respond to the situation, all Luke can do is laugh pathetically as he rubs his arm. “What’s… uh, are you… okay…?”

Fuck, Rowan thinks. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

There really is no going back from this. He didn’t want to resort to this, but if he held out any longer, something was going to happen. Something bad. His mind would fog and he wouldn’t be all there. He didn’t want to scare Luke more than he already has.

Hopefully Luke isn’t claustrophobic.

“Ah… Luke, um… have you heard of preds? Predators?” Rowan finally asks, biting the bullet.

Green hues stare at the other man in silence. It feels like gears are turning in his head. He keeps rubbing at his arm.

“I dunno, a little? They… need to eat people, I think. Right? They’re rare.”

Rowan nods in response. Good, this isn’t going to be a complete shock.

“Yeah, well… That’s me, that’s what I am. A pred.” He sounds words through another wince, feeling awkward and vulnerable. “And, well, uh…. I made a mistake, and I need to eat. Like, Right now.”

Luke completely freezes, trying to read his roommate’s face. Is he trying to play a joke? He’s not acting like this is a joke. His mysterious, handsome, jockey roommate is secretly a predator and needs to eat people. Rowan used to be so quiet, and now….

Luke’s breath hitches, and his face flushes as he realizes the situation.

“You… Wait, you… need to eat me? Like right now?” This is genuinely something you don’t hear everyday. Luke is a size shifter, it might be easy to shrink down, but is he even safe? “How does that work? Would it hurt? Would I be okay?”

Luke’s mind is racing, and that’s understandable, but Rowan literally cannot wait anymore.

“No! Um, at least, I don’t think so.” Rowan hates this. This is so weird. “I mean, nobody’s ever… Nobody I’ve ever… you know, has been hurt from it.”

His stomach is screaming at him now. The sight of Luke nearly has saliva slipping out of his mouth.

“Well…. What do you say?”

“Uh….” Luke hesitates. His face is bright red. This situation is something he couldn’t have imagined in a million years. He had never been eaten before. Even so, how were they going to navigate with Luke inside the other’s stomach? Even that thought alone sounds ridiculous. He’s thinking about being eaten right now, how insane is that? “I… guess so? I-I can… shrink down, or something, to—“

Rowan’s hands reach over for Luke’s shoulders quickly, not hearing anything else after being given the okay. He’s so hungry he needs someone down his throat now. He surges forward, mouth wide open and his fangs on full display as Luke’s eyes widen at the sight. He doesn’t have much time to react as Rowan’s mouth engulf’s Luke’s entire head, shoving him headfirst. The predator immediately swallows at feeling his meal press against the back of his throat.

Each swallow is quick, loud, and aggressive. Luke couldn’t even finish his sentence before being eaten. All the size shifter can do is keep his eyes shut as he’s continually and forcefully shoved down his roommate’s throat. The fact this is even happening is enough to make Luke dizzy. His body is constricted by the powerful organ, and any attempt to move or shift fails as he’s trapped in place.

Rowan’s heartbeat approaches the man’s ears, and the predator himself gently closes his eyes. He purrs as he takes in the man’s flavor. He feels the other’s head descend from his throat and into his chest, making him desperate. Rowan grabs at Luke’s arms, sliding his body further down within him with a few thick swallows.

Luke’s head slips into the desperate stomach, and they both feel it. Luke hears nothing but the sounds of Rowan’s body around him. His swallows, his breathing, his heartbeat, and even his stomach as he enters the empty chamber. It groans at his presence, and he can’t tell if it was out of hunger, or because it now has food in it.

Food?

Did Luke just refer to himself as food?

This entire situation is overwhelming for the size shifter. Five seconds ago, being eaten was a brand new concept to him. Now, he’s being stuffed and swallowed down. Pushed further and further down his roommate’s body. He even feels his feet lift off the ground as Rowan continues to loudly swallow his entire body. His face flushes, and Luke finally opens his eyes. The inside of the stomach is just as dark as Rowan’s mouth and throat. His breathing is hitched as he swallows more and more of his body, and his heartbeat is racing. It’s wild how much of his body he can hear…. It’s kind of enjoyable.

A chill runs down Luke’s spine. The warm air of the other man’s insides coupled with the cold air of the outside made for a strange, body temperature difference. Not only that, but the fact that Rowan is so much more stronger than he looks. This should be impossible, lifting someone up like this.

With an aggressive exhale out of Rowan’s nose, the predator groans as he feels Luke finally filling his empty stomach. He should be filling him up and rounding out his middle. Determined to get the rest of him down, he grabs Luke’s legs and lifts them up as he pulls his head back. All that remains now are his roommate’s waist and legs, this shouldn’t be too hard to finish now. A muffled, surprised yelp can be heard through the flesh of his center. Luke shifts, feeling the weight and gravity shift to pull him downwards. Thankfully, said gravity would allow him to get his meal down with a few more hearty gulps.

One swallow sends the rest of his waist down. Luke’s arms press against the stomach walls, trying to keep himself from being pressed up against the flesh in front of him uncomfortably.

Another swallow pulls Luke’s thighs past his lips and down his throat. The powerful organ grumbles at the presence of such a filling meal. Satisfaction, perhaps?

Rowan lets go of the man’s legs, believing they’ll sit still and slide down. Downwards, sliding ever closer down the tight confines of his throat.

With how powerful and strong each swallow felt and sounded, it’s almost like Rowan has eaten people like this so many times before. Has he? Luke tumbles around inside, trying to get more comfortable and in a better position as more of his body slips through the esophagus and into the fleshy organ. It’s tight in here, that’s for sure.

In response to feeling the other shift within him, the predator swallows, getting past his knees. He feels Luke’s hands press all around the walls inside. His back even leans up against what feels like the front of his belly.

Luke isn’t sure what he thinks about this situation. Maybe one more swallow would seal him within another human being. Something he never even thought of in the past. But he’s here now, being eaten. Being swallowed down and hearing the powerful swallows, the powerful heartbeat of someone else. Seeing the body from where one would never usually see it.

Why… did this feel nice?

Luke feels so satisfyingly comfortable to the predator. The way he moves about and the way he sits inside him just feels right. His mind craves this; the feeling of another person moving within his gullet. Within his stomach. He knows he’s going to regret this. He always does. Despite this, right now, he needs this, and he is going to allow himself to bask in the moment.

Gllk—!

“Ah, Rowan?” Luke’s muffled voice chimes in again.

Rowan doesn’t hear it. He closes his eyes, leaning his head back once again. His lips ring around his prey’s ankles.

One more swallow.

One of Rowan’s hands press against his expanding, distended belly. It feels wonderful. His free hand lifts, pressing down on the other’s feet to force them past his lips, into his mouth, and down his throat. A powerful swallow seals them, sending the man’s entire body into his stomach with pride. Finally. Completely encompassed by flesh, Luke is entirely within him. He takes his hand back, straightening his head. His throat massages at his prey’s body, but it’s this final, powerful, loud swallow that sends them down quickly to meet the rest of him.

Rowan exhales with relief.

With all of Luke finally stuffed within the organ, the size shifter curls up, trying to keep himself steady. Rowan’s breathing picks up, and he can feel Rowan shift around outside as he moves around himself. This… this is strange.

Pressing down into the flesh under him, the consumed man attempts to prop himself up and squeeze himself through the flesh that hugs him into a comfortable position. Saliva presses his clothes into his skin, as well as his hair. The walls gently knead at him, and he finally feels like he’s in a somewhat better position. But he keeps his hands steady, to keep himself in an upright position.

Rowan’s fingers guide themselves down the curve of his middle. Hunger and pain are replaced with fullness and contentment. Luke’s movements as he tries to get comfortable even feel amazing. Like an internal massage. He feels as though he hadn’t focused on the feeling of his meals this much before. His stomach gurgles loudly, perhaps happy to finally be fed. It’s even nice, no, wonderful, to watch Luke move and shift under the skin. To have Luke under his skin….

All his.

Mesmerized by the sight, he thinks of how much of an idiot he was for not doing this sooner. Why would he go this long without feeding himself? Not with how nice this feels. God, he’s an idiot. Gently pressing over the bump that he thinks are one of his meal’s hands, a burp forces its way through his chest and out.

He covers his mouth, though his worry isn’t here. He’s finally full.

“I…. Do you feel better?” Luke’s voice is quiet, and calm. Definitely hides the fact that Luke’s cheeks are bright red.

The muffled voice of his roommate through his skin jolts the predator out of his haze.

Oh, right. He just… ate his roommate. He basically just met this guy. This guy didn’t even know anything about his monstrous side. His hunger for people. Living people. Now, he’s curled up within his gut. God, how does he even feel? Rowan’s been so focused on himself he didn’t even bother to ask how Luke felt. Is he terrified?

“Shit, yeah… Much better.” Green eyes fall to his middle, attempting to make out the man’s orientation under all those layers of flesh and organs. Rowan swallows nervously, dropping his hands underneath in an attempt to support the weight of his stomach and asks in a small voice, “Um… You okay in there?”

Luke falls silent, looking up. Is he okay? Fuck, he doesn’t know. Rowan is so mysterious. He’s a predator and needs to eat people alive, for God’s sake. The burp from earlier pushed all of the walls against him and made his cheeks hot. What did the burp even mean?

He feels as Rowan’s hands brush the outside and support his weight. Rowan enjoys this? Did he act like this with everyone he eats? Maybe… Maybe he was a good meal? Eugh, it feels weird calling himself that. But that is what he is, right? Rowan ate him. He’s inside the predator’s stomach.

He thinks that he’s lucky Rowan can’t see his face. He swears, his face must be so red it’s embarrassing. So many conflicting feelings.

“Y-yes!” Luke nods and closes his eyes. Maybe he can just focus on the sounds that surround him. The feelings that surround him. It’s soft, yet tight. Definitely not as tight and constricting as the throat, though. Opening his eyes, Luke presses his hands back into the fleshy walls to keep himself steady. “I’m a bit thrown off, though. I thought you would wait for me to change my size, or something! I didn’t expect you to eat me at full size.”

“Y’know, I… probably should have.” Taking a heavy step backwards, Rowan aims to rest his back against a tree behind him. Luke shifts inside him in response to the change of weight. The predator exhales. He’s so dumb. Potentially, this can ruin his new apartment situation. All because he couldn’t get a goddamn meal at the right time. “I couldn’t stop myself, I guess. It got pretty bad there for a sec.”

Fuck, this is embarrassing.

“Look, Luke, uh….” Rubbing at his wrist, Rowan looks away from his stomach. “I-I’m sorry… about this shit. I kinda was planning on not mentioning this to you at all. It’s not something for you to deal with.”

The idea that Rowan felt horrible for not eating is strange. If it felt bad, why would he hide it? Luke looks up to where Rowan’s voice booms down from above. Rowan looked awful before. Sick and the color had nearly left his face. He should’ve at least known in case of an emergency…

Luke huffs.

“It’s fine, yeah? I got us lost in the first place with that fall. Plus I’ve heard a little bit about preds before. It’s not all bad, okay?” Exhaling again, Luke looks around before looking back at his hands resting against the fleshy walls of Rowan’s stomach. Out of curiosity, he presses them outwards, letting his hands sink in. He wonders what it looks like from the outside. “I’m glad you told me, but this was a helluva way to tell me, huh?”

Huffing, Rowan lets out a small laugh.

“Heh. Yeah…” His eyes drag themselves to his stomach. They watch curiously as Luke presses out. His hands move instinctively to press back at the bumps. It’s strange, the predator can feel the shape of Luke’s hands through the layers of flesh. It’s so strange, but something about the way he’s settled within him feels… right. Perhaps even better than any prey he’s had in the past. “… Thanks. Though…”

Rowan realizes his anxiety about this whole thing is still pretty high. Why wouldn’t it be? This new person in his life is guaranteed to see him as a total freak now. Even so, the presence in his stomach; the weight of the other so perfectly filling up his insides and moving against the walls, has him feeling so very comfortable.

“I’ll get you out eventually,” The man finally finishes. “We don’t have to acknowledge this happened afterwards. It must be pretty weird.”

“It’s not something I’m used to! That’s for sure. I don’t really know how to describe it, but I guess I can cross ‘Get eaten by the guy I took on a hike and got lost with’ off my bucket list, right?” Luke laughs to himself, albeit awkwardly. Rowan laughs softly in response.

It’s flustering to feel Rowan move around him. To push at him. To breathe. To speak. To live. Rowan is already pretty attractive as it was, but this is different. Intimate. Indirectly, their hands are pressing against each other. They’re close, in the sense that Luke is literally inside of the predator. Under his skin. Swallowed down and consumed, tucked away. Closer to Rowan’s heart than he would’ve been outside…

Luke wonders if his face can get anymore red.

“Um… How does it… feel? To… have someone in your stomach, like this?” The shifter spits out.

Hm. What an awkward question, Rowan thinks.

“… I’m not sure how to describe it super well. Perhaps like this… little weighted warmth right inside of you. I can feel you move around and brush against the inside of my stomach. I can see you push out and roll… It’s a strange sensation, but… It’s nice. Comforting, in a way. And…. and you feel really nice in there.” Rowan’s hands mindlessly massage against his distended belly. His eyes gently drift shut, and he focuses on the feeling of Luke within him. Between the weight, the warmth, and the rising and falling of his breath, the near perfect sense of fullness is breathtaking. This sensation his roommate gives him feels like he was made to fit perfectly inside his stomach. Inside his core.

Rowan jolts, realizing the words he just said. The thoughts dancing around his mind. He blinks as his eyes quickly widen and his face flushes. Dread overtakes him.

“I-I mean, like— It’s like… like you being in there stops the hunger, right? I-It’s nice to, uh, not be in pain and all that!” The man chokes out in a cough, once again forcing himself to look away from his stomach. Luke shifts as the cough squishes him within. He can feel his face heating up. What the fuck, Rowan! What the fuck?!

Luke stays silent in an attempt to sort his thoughts. He curls up, leaning further into the stomach wall behind him. It wraps around him and he feels himself sink. Rowan’s breath hitches around him as he feels the sensation. Rowan definitely has his weight leaning against something, though the shifter doesn’t know what. Focusing on the sounds that surround him, his face flushes as he’s described as ‘nice.’ It’s a simple thing, really. Such a small, insignificant comment, as he’s surrounded by and hugged by Rowan’s flesh. The organ that gently kneads at and squishes him. That groans and gurgles around him. Rowan’s heart as it beats. His lungs that inhale and exhale—Luke subconsciously met his breathing with his predator’s.

Rowan really, really likes this, doesn’t he? Maybe… Maybe Luke likes this, too. However, he shifts to shove his face into his hands, burying himself into the nearest stomach wall.

“Um… I—I see. It’s not, um… as tight as I expected, you know? Your stomach really stretched out. I can’t even begin to think what it looks like from the outside.” Luke finally exhales, accidentally kicking his foot into one of the stomach walls.

“Huh? Yeah? Oh, yeah. That is pretty weird, isn’t it? But I think it’s a predator thing. Stretchy insides, I think? Something a doctor told me as a kid, I dunno. I’ve never had much trouble getting bigger things down. That’s—pretty fucking weird to say, isn’t it?” A finger traces gently along the curves of Luke’s body tucked away within him. He chuckles. “You have made me a bit bigger, though. If I look hard enough, I think I can make out the position you’re in?”

Luke feels thankful that Rowan can’t see his expression, especially at the last comment. He might not have let him live it down, if he did. Probably. Would he think he’s weird for getting so flustered? Being inside here was a lot nicer than he expected. Squishy and a bit wet, but nice. Honestly, he can see himself getting tired enough and falling asleep.

Luke shakes his head. He has to stay awake. How weird would it be to fall asleep inside the man who just ate you? … Well, probably not as weird as eating someone. Still.

He thinks to himself for a moment; the cogs turn within his brain. Luke moves his body curiously, using his legs to press down and force his head up against whatever wall was above him. He knows he’s not upside down since his head isn’t being pulled down by gravity, but whatever orientation he’s at within Rowan’s belly is unknown to him.

It’s a tight push, but he forces himself to go as far as possible, trying and failing to hold back laughter.

“Whoa—hey!!” Rowan yelps as he watches the skin of his middle strain against the shape pushing out from his torso. There’s a prominent bump. It stretches out, vibrating with the other’s laughter. “What the fuck, dude! That is not an invitation to test it out!”

He shoves back into his stomach with his open palms, feigning anger and annoyance but failing to hold back the laughter that bubbles within him and forces itself out in response. Honestly, the squirming and pushing feels genuinely and strangely nice. He can’t place it, but having Luke inside and moving around like this has him more relaxed, significantly more compared to the start of their hike. Luke laughing in there is soothing. Perhaps even ebbing away some of the awkwardness from before.

“Yeah, Sorry! Sorry, I wanted to try it. I couldn’t help myself.” Feeling the push back, he falls back into his previous position. Rowan massages the skin around him, and it’s soothing. This isn’t so bad. He also noticed his roommate became more talkative, too. Is this a way to get him to speak? To be eaten…?

“Pretty sure you’re right side up, in case you wanted to know, by the way.” Rowan chimes through his thoughts.

“Oh! Okay, cool. I wasn’t sure. It’s hard to tell what’s up and down in here.” The shifter responds, burrowing into the predator’s insides and closing his eyes. Man, he really is getting tired. Incredibly tired. He didn’t expect this to be so.. relaxing. Is it the warmth? The organ wrapping around him and holding him in place?

Wait, aren’t they lost?

Luke’s eyes shoot open.

“So… um… How are we going to get home?”

“How are we—?” Fuck, right’s right. They’re lost. That’s what’s happening. And now Luke is stuck inside his belly, unable to see anything outside of him, which means…. “I guess I gotta get us back now, huh?”

Rowan groans in annoyance, wishing he paid attention to literally anything around them earlier. With a huff, he removes his hands from his bloated belly and pushes himself off of the tree he was leaning on. He has to accommodate for the new weight now, too. He’s used to having bigger prey, but not… moving around like this.

“I guess I’ll just start walking? Hope for the best?” The predator looks down to his stomach as he talks to it and begins walking.

“I guess? Maybe try and turn around? I dunno…” So much changes around the size shifter. The change in weight as Rowan stands up and begins to walk. He can feel every step he takes and his breathing and heartbeat pickup at the sudden action taking place. This is all too weird. Luke brings his hands up once again to press against the walls on either side of him to steady himself. Maybe he should try and break the silence in the meantime. So, Luke takes a breath and says, “How often do you need to do this, if you don’t mind me asking? Eat people, I mean.”

“Oh, well, uh… Maybe every few—” Rowan cuts himself off. This isn’t Luke’s problem to deal with. Rowan isn’t a child, he’s just a really weird hungry adult. This is a one time thing. It has to be. He can’t subject Luke to more of this shit than is necessary… No matter how much he enjoys his sweet taste or the shape of him inside of his gut. “No, no. You sure you even want to deal with that? After we get back. Somehow. Like, this shit will be over and I can spit you back out and we don’t have to ever talk about this again.”

As a form of punishment for himself, Rowan removes his hands from his engorged stomach and shoves them into his jacket’s pockets. He wants to touch it and feel more of Luke’s form, but he won’t allow himself to.

“I dunno, I just want to know. We live together, so I wanted to know…. I wanted to take this hike to get to know you…” Did Luke mess this up already? They were talking before he mentioned getting back home. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Maybe it would’ve been better for Rowan to stay leaned up against whatever and they could just talk. “If this is a part of you, I’d like to get to know more about it.”

Rowan sucks in a breath. His pace slows down as he listens to the muffled voice of his roommate. His meal. He seems so sincere about wanting to get to know him. Rowan isn’t sure how to react to that. He figured Luke would want to try talking to him. It was expected, but to go this far? To continue with his curiosity, even after Rowan fucking ate him? … A strange sense of warmth blossoms within his chest at the idea of Luke accepting even this part of him.

“You—You really don’t mind this? Me being like this? You’re okay with it? I mean, look, I’d totally get it if all of this had you wanting to back out and find a new place or kick me out or whatever.”

“I don’t…. mind it, Rowan. I’ve heard a little bit about predators before,y’know?” Lyke swallows nervously, his face flushing again. At this point, his face will never be a normal color while inside Rowan. This is going to be fine. “I’m fine with it. I wouldn’t move out over something like this. I’m just… glad I could help you, in some way.”

Vague crush on the predator notwithstanding, that is.

“Oh, well… Thanks, I guess.” Rowan picks up the pace, trying his best to follow a vague trail that he manages to pick up. Trees and grass and trees and more grass and dirt… “I… Usually go once every two weeks or so. Maybe even a bit more if I’m dealing with, uh… cravings.”

As he spits out the final sentence, Rowan hesitantly removes a hand from his pocket and lets it simply rest upon the top of his engorged belly as he walks.

The faster pace shifts the stomach again. Luke holds the walls to keep himself steady. Who knows how long this’ll take. But man, did he want to fall asleep right now.

“You get cravings? Is that what the pain was about earlier? You looked like you were so uncomfortable. It must really suck having to deal with all this.” Luke replies.

“Yeah… It’s consistent, for the most part. Just gotta feed myself every now and then. Sometimes my stomach gets a mind of its own and I get cravings. It’s a pain in the ass.” In retrospect, thank god his cravings didn’t spiral into a full on mind fog. He never feels like himself like that. Like the predator within him shoves itself into the front of his mind and doesn’t stop until it gets what it wants. Hopefully, Luke wouldn’t have to see that. “You’re right though. If I can’t eat like this every now and then, it gets really bad. I start to feel woozy and it hurts like a bitch the longer I wait. Can’t say I’d recommend being a pred…”

“That sounds so rough… I’m really sorry I got us lost. I feel so bad about that.” Finally, Luke lets out a yawn. He sinks fully into the wall behind him. It’s… nice, despite what Rowan describes. Would he be doing this more often? Would he even let Rowan eat him again? Would he ask? He didn’t think he’d mind doing this again. The process of getting down was weird, but overall, it’s pretty nice. Despite the bile that causes his hair and clothes to stick to his skin. “If it’s any consolation, it’s nice in here.”

Shit.

“Heh…. don’t apologize, and…. Thanks.” Rowan smiles, patting the top of his belly. He looks down, green hues looking over the skin. Feeling Luke relax inside.

However long it takes to get back on track, maybe it’s not all bad.

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nyaagolor · 1 year

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More Team Star headcanons that I’ve been thinking abt recently

Giacomo really took advantage of the STCs, perhaps more than anyone else in Team Star. The audience and academy permission really brought out the event-planner in him, so he often runs open-invite socials for the academy at the various STCs— always DJd by him, of course!

Mela has a lot of anger issues to deal with, but her favorite way of letting loose is to invite her friends to go egg throwing with her. She goes to the supermarket to buy the cheapest eggs she can find, hikes into the woods, and lobs the eggs at trees while ranting her frustrations. It's a non-destructive stress reliever and a good bonding exercise

Atticus would tear shit UP at a Renn Faire. He brings all his friends there and asks them to be in character, and they actually end up having a lot of fun! Atticus is absolutely THRILLED that people are engaging in his interests, and seeing all the admins inspires more team star members to join them. Now Atticus, Youssef, and a handful of grunts travel to different renn faires and historical conventions to geek out about stuff

Ortega and Tyme have a borderline rivalry because Ortega is really good at math but he's also a little shit. He absolutely antagonizes Tyme because he kinda wants to find this kind old woman's limit. He's gettin Real Close, but she will not crack under the pressure. He may be the world's most annoying 12 year old-- but she grew up with a sister

Eri began a yearly tradition called the Caph Caterwaul where for one day during finals week, everyone in Team Star (and the academy if they so choose) takes a hike into the mountains to scream at the top of their lungs for one minute at the stroke of midnight. The teachers found out about it and HAPPILY joined in the opportunity to scream into the night on company time

Penny, by virtue of being a cybersecurity expert, has a fursona. Team Star found out. Now THEY have fursonas. Taking suggestions as to what they would be bc i'm not sure atm

#team star #giacomo #mela #atticus #ortega #eri #pokemon sv #headcanons #mod vex

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agent-cakeshroom · 8 months

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MORE BROZONE FIC IDEAS I PROLLY WONT WRITE (I apologize ;^;)

JD is the only brother that truly leaves, like escapes Bergen town to go hike the trails. Clay goes to stay with other members of the sad book club, Floyd and Bruce end up staying together in a spare pod while they both figure out where exactly they want to go. When Grandma gets snatched, all three brothers are notified and immediately return home. Their colors dull down in response to the trauma, but as they slowly heal they also help Branch regain color much earlier. Then the escape! You could either have Clay get left behind with Viva, or somehow all the Trolls get out safe. Branch convinces his brothers to help build the bunker him and Floyd planned, and Bruce sends out a letter in the hopes it reaches JD.

It doesn't succeed, and about a year after the escape JD finally caves in to his feelings and goes back to the tree. He'd been running from the guilt, and desperately holding onto his pride. But he misses his family, more than anything in the world. He goes back to Bergen town, telling his new little buddy Rhonda all about Grandma and his brothers. He leaves her just outside town while going to the Troll Tree. He remembered Grandma vaguely mention an escape plan in the works, and he figured he could help out then introduce them to Rhonda. But the sight of the Troll Tree surrounded by holes, broken pods, and fake Troll dolls made him pause. He goes to check on his pod, panicking, and finds it empty. A passing lucky Bergen catches the sound of JD's garbled sobs, and jumps the fence around the tree to grab him. JD freaks out, rightfully so, biting and scratching at the hand. The Bergen goes to toss John Dory in his mouth, but John shoots his hair out to grab a branch. The Bergen still takes a chunk out of John, his whole left arm from just below the shoulder down. Adrenaline keeps him moving, not acknowledging the glittery blood spilling out of his arm for moment. He leaves the tree, and hightails it to a safe dark corner to hide in. His whole body is shaking, feeling numb all over, but he pulls himself together just enough to grab bandages from his hair to try and slow the bleeding. He makes it back to Rhonda, and even while she panics and whines at him John Dory shows her the baby blanket he'd passed down from brother to brother. He asks her to find them, please, and then slumps across her back. She's just big enough for him to ride on her back, but if she moves too fast he'd fall off. So with his one good arm, he shoves it through the little collar he made her to stay hooked to her. And just hopes he can stay on. Then off she goes.

Eventually she finds the village, JD gets medical attention, and wakes up to his brothers. Tearful reunion, John sobbing about how he was terrified he'd never find them because they were dead and didn't escape, the brothers telling him about Grandma and watching him break apart again over her death. John reassuring Branch it was never his fault, and even though the other brothers spent the last few years telling him that, it felt different coming from JD. They all properly meet Rhonda, who in the last few days is already even bigger.

Uuh then yeah. Bunker tour, brotherly bonding, working through issues, growing up. Branch still isn't big on loud singing or dance parties, but he is friends with Poppy even if she doesn't listen to his warnings. Instead all the brothers are slightly paranoid, and very critical of the village and the way it exercises no caution. (Instead of Bruce meeting Brandy in the years apart, the brothers go exploring with Rhonda and he meets her a few years before the first movie. They're still soulmates, and they write letters constantly. He eventually is with Egg, and starts going to stay with her more permanently. He still comes to spend a few days with his brothers every other week.)

#trolls band together #brozone #i dunno what to call this au #john dory #bruce #clay #floyd #branch #took inspiration from some fics i read #iykyk #lol

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takaraphoenix · 2 months

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Camping & Bonding (Part 4)

Tags: m/m, Erica Lives, Boyd Lives, Jackson Doesn't Leave, Pack Mom Stiles, Pack Feels, True Mates, fluff, hurt/comfort, camping, mutual pining, m/f

Main Pairing: Derek/Stiles

Side Pairings: Scott/Allison, Boyd/Erica, Jackson/Lydia

Teen Wolf Characters: Mieczysław 'Stiles' Stilinski, Derek Hale, Erica Reyes, Vernon Boyd III, Isaac Lahey, Jackson Whittemore, Lydia Martin, Cora Hale, Scott McCall, Allison Argent

@writersmonth Prompts Part 4: season + school

Summary: Stiles thinks the pack should go camping, as a bonding exercise. Much to his surprise, Derek agrees with his plan. So the pack goes off into the mountains to camp together.

This Fic on AO3 | This Fic on FFNet

Stiles Summer Stories 2024

Part 4: The Confession

They brought enough eggs to make twenty omelets. While the wolves went on their morning run to also hunt a little meat on the side of those eggs, Stiles went to forage for mushrooms and herbs with Lydia and Allison. A little walk of their own. It was nice. Chilly, but beautiful. The orange and red and yellow leafs. And every now and again, they saw the pack running by in the distance.

When the three of them returned to their camp side, they started prepping everything for breakfast before the wolves returned from their hunt. Once again, Derek dropped a dead animal in front of Stiles, which was going to keep freaking Stiles out. Just because he knew how to take them apart didn't exactly mean he enjoyed the sight of dead animals, especially not when they were unceremoniously dropped metaphorically in his lap.

"Good hunt," Stiles offered when the Alpha kept staring at him. "Now go wash up. Seriously."

And since when did Derek need this much affirmation? Still, it was kind of cute to see that preening Derek did at the praise before once again rounding up the pups to herd them to the creek for a quick wash. Shaking his head, Stiles waved Allison over to help him take apart the catch of the day.

"We could save some cuts for lunch, we brought enough bread to make sandwiches," Stiles suggested. "I was thinking we could go on a hike, so take them with us. Yes, we. All of us. Stop groaning, Lydia. It will not kill you, I promise you that."

Not that Stiles himself was the biggest fan of hiking. But he knew the pups needed the exercise and he knew this would be a great way of bonding. Plus, he'd heard the view was breathtaking.

"You do know what Derek is doing though, right?" Lydia asked, while stirring the omelet.

Stiles looked confused at her. "Uhm, currently? Taking a bath, I guess?"

"No, Stiles," Lydia heaved an exasperated sigh. "You look so confused every time Derek drops the hunt in front of you. I thought it was weird yesterday."

"Yeah, it really was weird, right?!" Stiles threw up his hands. "Thank you, Ly-"

"No, your reaction was weird," Lydia furrowed her brows. "Like you didn't know what he was doing. And now again. You don't know what he's doing, do you?"

Stiles paused, looking at her. "What… What do you mean? What is he doing?"

"How do you not know that, I thought you researched werewolves to the smallest detail."

"Don't sound so accusatory," Stiles glared. "How am I supposed to know everything. There might be things even I missed. Or didn't deem important at the time due to the massive volume of research to be done. Also school. Like. There are more things than the supernatural that I have to do too, studying and helping Scott study, and take care of my dad, and the household, and the pack-"

"He's courting you, Stiles," Lydia blurted out to interrupt him. "He's bringing you the game he caught himself, and don't think the wolves haven't noticed how much you two smelt like each other this morning. Jackson froze up and told me. You two weren't just sharing a tent."

"We shared some body-heat," Stiles defended with a blush. "But that's not-"

"Stiles," Allison offered him a small, nearly pitiful smile. "You're the only one who can sway Derek. Don't get me wrong, he listens to everyone's opinion, he learned to do that. But… but you are the one who can convince Derek of any of our ideas and who always has his ear and trust. You're his second, Stiles."

At that, Stiles huffed out a laugh. "No, I'm not. Peter is Derek's left hand."

"Not his left hand," Lydia heaved an exasperated sigh. "His second. His second half. The co-leader of this pack. The only one to outrank the left hand. How do you not see it."

Stiles froze and stared at the girls a little dumbly. He wasn't Derek's mate. He would know if he was Derek's mate. They'd known each other for well over a year now and they had been… close, for months. And Stiles was the one who figured these things out! Erica and Boyd. Jackson and Lydia. Allison and Scott. Heck, Allison and Scott were how Stiles had figured out that mates were a real thing, he had put that together. He would know if he was someone's mate.

/break\

Something had happened while the wolves bathed. When they returned, Stiles was… jittery. Even by Stiles standards. Derek frowned as he watched his mate cautiously.

"Training," Derek growled after breakfast. "Pair up. Erica and Jackson. Cora and Isaac. Boyd and Scott. Don't groan at me. You have predictable patterns that your usual go-to sparring partners know. Switch it up. Now go."

"Sourwolf," Stiles huffed annoyed as soon as the betas got up. "Don't growl at the pups."

He had his arms crossed and he was glaring at Derek, making the Alpha falter a little. Damn it, he needed to have better control. But when Stiles was upset – and especially when Stiles seemed upset with him – it still messed with Derek. Perhaps because Stiles was his anchor, Stiles calmed him, so when Stiles was upset, his anchor was the reason for Derek's own upset feelings.

"You flinched away when I touched you earlier."

How much Derek hated admitting these things. He crossed his own arms, trying to brace himself, glaring at a point behind Stiles – where the betas were training with each other and decidedly pretending they couldn't hear Stiles and Derek's conversation. Allison and Lydia were pretending to be busy with the clean-up. Stiles stared at him in bafflement.

"I didn't…" Stiles trailed off and then sighed. "I didn't mean to. I was just really in my head and you startled me. But, Der, c'mon. Even if I flinched, that should not make you lash out at the pups! They didn't do anything."

"They didn't," Derek agreed, with a heavy sigh. "I'm… sorry. I just… It messes with me when you… When something is wrong with you."

"Why," Stiles frowned at him.

Derek remained stubbornly silent. He couldn't tell Stiles. He shouldn't tell Stiles.

"Why," Stiles asked again, more pointed, his eyes narrowed. "I need you to tell me, Derek."

"Why do you need to know," Derek growled. "It doesn't matter."

"It does!" Stiles threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "If it affects our pack, then I need to know, so I can figure out what to do to avoid it!"

"I don't like when you're upset, or hurt, or – or when anything is wrong with you."

Stiles stared at him like the air got knocked out of him. "They're right."

Derek tensed at that, hunching over a little like he was bracing himself. "Who was right."

"The…" Stiles motioned over to Lydia and Allison. "The girls! They said that I'm your mate. That's what kept me so distracted during breakfast. Because surely that can't be, right. 'Surely, Derek would have told me at literally any point during the past months that we've been friends, that I've been in his pack. There's no way he would have kept something like that from me. Even if he doesn't want me, he knows how important the trust between us is to me, he would have told me the truth,' while I replayed pretty much every single interaction between us since I joined the pack, I kept thinking that. And I guess I'm fucking wrong, huh."

The more he talked, the more bitter and louder his voice grew. He turned away from Derek, a sneer on his face. The cold autumn breeze carried over a scent of misery and Derek's inner wolf whimpered because he knew they were the cause of it.

"I could have been okay with you not wanting me, Derek," Stiles turned to look at him with a devastating look on his face. "You know I can handle rejection. But this… this is about more than you and me. If I'm your mate, I'm the Alpha mate. That… That's really fucking important information regarding our entire pack and I should have known that. You should have told me."

Derek didn't know what to say, or how to say it, not that he got a chance to, because Stiles barreled on. "I deserved to know. You know how weird the past months were for me? I kept cuddling up with my classmates, I fucking nuzzled Jackson at school the other week. I genuinely started to think I was losing it but no. No, I'm the Alpha mate, of course have I been more in tune with the betas. Which also, explains why I keep thinking about them as the betas! Part of me has gotten really fucking worried that I kept mentally excluding myself from them, like, what, was I not seeing myself as pack, what was my problem? But no. No, my problem was that I'm not a beta. I just didn't know it. Because nobody fucking told me."

Stiles was radiating frustration and anger and hurt and all Derek could do was watch and listen quietly, knowing his mate needed to vent. He always talked a lot, especially when he was being emotional. Maybe it'd help him to get it out of his system.

"I would have been fine, Derek," Stiles whispered, and the whispering scared Derek much more than the yelling. "I was in love with Lydia for years and I was fine when she rejected me and got back together with Jackson and we're friends now. I would have been fine if you just told me that you don't love me. We could have led this pack together. As friends. Even if you don't want me."

Suddenly, it felt much colder than it had any right to, and it had nothing to do with the season. The blood in Derek's veins froze as Stiles' words – all of his words – finally fully sank in and context was webbed between them. Stiles was angry because Derek hadn't told him. Stiles… expected rejection. Because of Derek's actions, or rather his inaction, Stiles thought he wasn't wanted.

"Can I… talk now?" Derek asked softly. "Can I explain why I didn't tell you?"

With a sarcastic smile, Stiles made a gesture that indicated 'the floor is all yours'. Derek took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself to talk about his feelings. The feelings he hadn't shared for good reason so far. But that had hurt Stiles, the last person he wanted to hurt, and now he had to fix this somehow, he had to make Stiles stop hurting.

"I want you, Stiles," Derek looked his mate directly in the eyes, wanting for Stiles to see how serious and sincere he was. "I want you more than I ever wanted anything, I want you so much that it scares me, because if I… if I had you, I could lose you again. I would lose you again."

Stiles stared at him in confusion. "That doesn't even make sense. If you don't have me, you can't lose me. Well, great, but you're also not having me, so what's the big difference."

"The difference," Derek growled and ground his teeth together hard. "The difference is that every good thing I ever dare hope to have dies or is otherwise forcibly taken from me, Stiles. P… Paige died. My family died. Laura died. Boyd and Erica were taken and tortured because they were part of my pack. Everyone I love gets hurt because of me. And the thought that someone hurts you, takes you away from me – from the pack, from your dad – all because of me? I can't… I would much rather not have you than lose you for good, Stiles."

In front of him, Stiles crumbled. The anger and hurt melted away to make room for the most heartbroken look Derek had ever seen. Stiles walked up to him, with careful and slow steps, as though he was approaching a cornered animal. Once he stood close enough, he reached both hands out for Derek's face, gently cupping it and leaning closer.

"You big, dumb idiot," Stiles heaved a sigh. "Look at me. Look at me. I'm the human who runs with wolves. I got hunted by a less than sane Alpha. I got tortured by an evil hunter. I regularly get attacked and nearly killed by whatever evil lurks in Beacon Hills. And I'm still standing. You are not getting rid of me that easily. You are not going to lose me that easily. I love you. You and me, we save each other. That's what we do, Derek, and that's what we'll continue doing."

He leaned in, more and more, until Derek could feel the ghost of Stiles' breath against his lips and for once, he didn't hold back. He wrapped his arms around his mate and pulled Stiles into a kiss filled with all the emotions he'd tried to reign in these past months. Stiles practically melted against him, warm and firm and there. Right there, in Derek's arms.

#Sterek #Fic: Camping & Bonding #Sterek Fic #Teen Wolf #Derek Hale #Hale Pack #Stiles Stilinski #Stiles Summer Stories 2024 #Phoe's Fics

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esoteric-chaos · 8 months

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What is Grounding and Centering? How-Tos and Methods

Centering is about balancing and stabilizing the body and mind's energy along with narrowing your focus.

Grounding is bonding and exchanging energy with different elements, however to many practitioners traditionally that element is typically earth. As somebody however who worked/works with a multi-faceted deity for many years, many things can be multi-faceted a lot like grounding.

For example within DBT therapy grounding is bringing yourself into the here and now by honing in on the five senses. Connecting both yourself and your immediate surroundings within the present. For examples box breathing and pain relief exercises medically.

Grounding for me personally is stabilizing one's energy, by reclaiming it from the universe or by drawing from the elements around me. As someone with chronic fatigue I need to borrow energy for spellwork so I become less fatigued after and Earth is a great neutral resource and element.

Grounding and meditation typically go hand in hand here.

While personally Centering is about balancing the body, the mind and narrowing my focus within my intentions for the act of entering into a certain brainwave state so I can enter spellwork or manifestation.

In another post, we will discuss brainwave states and altered states of consciousness and what they can do for your spellwork from a chaos magic perspective.

Now let's get into some centering and grounding methods.

Centering

Method 1 - Energetic Center Visualization:

Closing your eyes, visualize this glowing light. It can be any colour in your core. Now, your core can be anywhere along your body, from your heart center to your sacral, stomach, and third eye. Wherever feels the most right to you.

Visualize it growing brighter and becoming the center of your being. Gently pushing and pulling your energy.

As you breathe in, feel this light expand and fill your entire body. Filling you with peace and a sense of wholeness.

Method 2 - Breathwork with the elements:

You can do whatever feels more natural within your breathwork, like adding the element of spirit, for example.

Go to an area where you won't be disturbed for a while.

Getting in a comfortable position, usually sitting, is recommended because you could fall asleep. However, lying down is fine if you have a back injury like I do or sitting is uncomfortable.

Inhale through your nose for a long, steady breath to the count of four while keeping track of each number of elements Earth, Air, Fire, Water.

Hold that breath while repeating over Earth, Air, Fire, and Water.

Exhale through your mouth, long and steady to the beat of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water.

Hold your lungs empty on the count of four Earth, Air, Fire, Water.

Repeat however long you feel necessary after it instills feelings of calm and relaxation.

Method 3 - Moving the body

Another method is movement. Movement helps us center ourselves. Exercise, stretching, dancing, hiking, etc. Not only is it spiritually healthy, it is physically healthy. It brings us back into balance when we get our bodies moving.

If you struggle with disabilities, stretching to the best of your ability can be enough. If you are in a wheelchair, for example, you can do upper body stretches like desk stretching and artist stretches if you are able to move your upper body. However, if you are not able to do this as easily, that’s alright. You can use other methods, and you will not be left out.

Grounding

Method 1 - Earth Grounding

Some visualization is needed for this method, however, I personally have trouble with seeing with visualization so I find myself directing myself with inner thoughts to go along with it.

Go to an area where you won't be disturbed for a while.

Getting in a comfortable position usually sitting is recommended because you could fall asleep. However, if you have a back injury like I do or sitting just is not comfortable, laying down is fine.

Let yourself fall into a natural breathing pattern. In and out, calm as possible. You can incorporate regular box breathing here if needed.

You are going to want to visualize a cord coming from the center of your being. For some people, this is from the base of their tailbone, bellybutton or heart. This cord travelling down deep into the earth, either spreading out like roots or wrapping around the earth's core.

Now what I like to do is shed down this cord any sort of gross gunk-like energy to return to the earth to be recycled. Especially energy that's not mine.

I visualize/tell this energy to move down the cords and spread back into the earth to be recycled. If I am recycling my own energy I let that energy sit for a minute with the earth, invite it back up after it is renewed back into the core of my being. You never want to personally lose your own energy as it can leave you fatigued.

This is your option to also borrow some energy if needed. Always remember to thank the earth for its generosity. You can also leave an offering for it later if you choose.

Now once you have finished remember to retract that cord and you are done.

There are so many different ways you can ground. You can ground using terrestrial energy by expanding your roots to underground caves with crystals, pockets of air, water, and lava, all for elemental work. You can even go upwards into solar energies, connecting with the cosmos. The possibilities are endless.

Blessings!

Need to find all of my posts in one place? Check out the Masterpost

Updated 3/12/24

#witchcraft #witch #electic witch #witchblr #grounding #centering #breathwork #witch basics #witchcraft basics

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lemonxdaisybby · 6 months

Text

Hiking with the Ichigang

Honestly, I have no idea what this is lmao they are extremely dumb.

Not the type of headcanons I planned on writing, but the idea randomly came to me, and they were fun to make. ✨

Ichiban Kasuga:

Ichi is probably the one who suggested a little hiking day trip to be honest. Most likely got the idea whilst skimming through the magazine rack at the convenience store, and spotted some article/ad about hiking and nature and what a great experience it is.

Immediately thought it would be a fun bonding session to have with the gang, but he is wrong.

Organised the outing, but is somehow the least prepared.

Probably made a dumb footwear choice, like flip flops or sandals. Ends up with sore feet very early on, and stubs his toes on stones constantly.

Also did not bring enough water, and has to scrounge off the others.

Also brought no food/snacks. Luckily Zhao made an entire feast for the trip.

To be honest, once he’s there he just has no idea what he’s doing or where the gang should go. He’s having a great time regardless though, and is ultra enthusiastic as always. He’s just happy to be with his besties.

No thoughts, just vibes.

Yu Nanba:

He is absolutely exhausted after about 30 minutes of walking. Let this man nap.

Just wants to sit down and chill. Maybe even watch the different birds and critters go by.

He can appreciate nature, he just doesn’t really appreciate the exercise/walking part.

He would be grumbling and complaining constantly, to be honest. An absolute vibe killer.

Poor guy strikes me as unlucky, and would definitely get stung by a bee or a wasp.

Grumpy.

Adachi Koichi:

Somehow becomes the dad of the group, and has to take control after it becomes apparent that Ichiban the Organiser has no clue where to go, or what to do.

Is actually pretty prepared. Has appropriate hiking footwear, a backpack with the appropriate amount of food and water, and even medical supplies just in case.

Also has a map, but still somehow manages to get the group lost.

Blames them getting lost on the map being wrong, but it’s not the map. It’s him. It’s all him.

Saeko Mukoda:

Honestly, it’s not her vibe, but she enjoys spending time with her friends and wanted to give hiking a fair shot.

Sure she appreciates nature, but she prefers to appreciate it from afar.

Another one who complains that her feet hurt not long after starting the hike, and also did not wear appropriate hiking footwear.

She would enjoy taking pictures of the scenery, and selfies with the gang.

Would make herself a flower crown, and feel like a fairy princess.

The vibe would be ruined when one of the gang points out there’s a huge bug on one of the flowers. She probably ends up chucking the crown on the ground and stomping on it.

Wouldn’t despise the trip and would have some fun, but definitely would not be up for hiking again.

Seonhee:

This queen would probably do just fine on a hike, as long as any bugs stay away.

She’s not entirely sure how she got dragged along on the trip with these buffoons (minus Joon-Gi), but she can definitely appreciate the environment.

A nice change of pace/scenery for her.

Probably wants to ditch the rest of the group, as they’re all annoying her with their constant whining.

Must have rolled her eyes at least 276695290 times during the entire trip.

Saeko takes the prettiest candid shots of Seonhee just looking all regal and like an absolute queen, surrounded by all the pretty trees and flowers.

Joon-Gi Han:

OVER-PREPARED.

It was meant to be a little day trip/hike, and the gang would all be back home way before nightfall.

But Joon-Gi has packed a TENT. He has supplies to make a FIRE. He has CLIMBING EQUIPMENT, and also them stupid ass hiking poles even though it is a completely flat hike.

Has multiple backpacks just full of unneeded things.

The other guys can’t even see him. He’s just a bundle of walking backpacks.

He is just full to the brim of random survival tips.

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

He would have to take the map off Adachi, and would get the gang back on the right track. He would also officially ban Adachi from giving them directions ever again.

Tianyou Zhao:

Definitely worked so hard the day before cooking food, and making little snacks and lunchboxes for the gang.

Probably made too much food, let’s be honest.

Would definitely be roasting Joon-Gi for taking the hike so seriously.

Would also roast Adachi for getting them lost.

Like Seonhee, he has no idea how he got roped in to a hiking trip with his favourite losers.

And like Ichi, Zhao is not 100% sure what is going on, but he too is just vibing.

#yakuza 7 headcanons #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #ryu ga gotoku #ichiban kasuga #adachi koichi #koichi adachi #yu nanba #seonhee #saeko mukoda #tianyou zhao #joongi han #joon gi han

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ohtobeleah · 2 years

Text

Chaos // Bradley Bradshaw

Chapter Six: Addicts

Summary: All hell breaks loose when the uranium mission doesn’t go according to plan. Rooster follows you down into enemy territory. It’s a race against time to find a way home safely.

Warning: Bradley Bradshaw x reader. Ex girlfriend ex boyfriend. Angst! Whump!

Word Count: 14.1k

Author Note: Oh my god. I don’t even know what to say. If you’re still here—thank you so much. We’re officially finished the main six chapters of Chaos. It’s been fun!

“So how's that addiction going?” Bob's voice drew you from deep thought as you looked out over the water, flight helmet in hand, hung by your side. Both geared up ready to go for what could very well be your last mission. “He looks strung out–” Gesturing to where Rooster stood talking to Maverick, it wasn't hard to miss the noticeable layer of sweat that had come over him. Looking over your shoulder you could only imagine what Pete must have been saying to Rooster, talking him down from whatever purch he’d plopped himself on.

“Yeah, well, I think I'd be the last person on earth he’d wanna be flying with right now–” singing softly as you turned to face Bob fully. “And as for the addiction, I'm a full blown addict.”

“You’re addicted—“ Robert Floyd was a different breed. He saw the world differently to most, almost like a textbook. With facts and evidence to back up his hypothesis and firm beliefs. He wasn’t a believer in the paranormal and he most certainly wasn’t a fan of politics. “Like full blown addicted—“ He was a man of science, numbers, statistics.

“He’s my ex Bob, not heroin!” The Lemoore sun was almost too much to bear as you and Bob hiked up the steep incline of Grants Creek. Bob’s idea for a team bonding exercise or his version of some sort of sick joke. “And besides, don’t you think it’s important to say no to drugs?” Jerk it out by the Caesars blasting through the speaker that hooked through Bob’s backpack, the carabiner doing God’s work.

“Well, it’s just not that simple.” Somewhere along the way—Bob had removed his T-shirt. It wasn’t that it was out of character for him to do so, it was simply that he trusted you not to comment. A little on the insecure side. But his faith in you to just accept him outweighed his own insecurities. Over the past six months, you had been his closest friend, his front seater, his best friend, his…. Well, Bob would never admit it but, crush? Maybe? He wasn't sure, all he knew for sure was that he thought you deserved the world. This ex you kept talking about? Kept confiding to him about? Just didn't seem to cut it in Bob’s eyes.

“Isn’t it the most simple thing in the world?” You questioned as you dramatically gasped for air, taking in the humidity of the atmosphere around you. Bob couldn't help but to chuckle as he handed you his water bottle. “Thanks—“ Taking it, you paused in your tracks for a breather. “Everyone knows drugs are bad, right? So why even start? I mean they cause crime and death—“

“And they also prop up the US economy.” Passing Bob back his water you frowned in concern.

“What are you talking about?” Bob loved a challenge, he always had. He loved talking to you about anything and everyone. He loved it because you wouldn't shrug him off, you would listen to what he had to say with interest and intent.

“Are you familiar with gross domestic product?” It wasn’t that Bob thought you were stupid, he just wanted to explain his standpoint. Watching as you nodded in response as the sun beamed down and the layer of sweat that had formed across the expanse of your body made it look like you were glowing. A sweaty, disgusting beautiful mess. “Well it’d be great if people didn’t get addicted to drugs, but—people are addicted to drugs.” Turning to face you as you both kept walking, making sure you were still following where he was going. “In order to get the drugs they have to buy them right? And that drug dealer needs to feed his family, they need a house and clothes and the family needs a car right? And there was even this theory that said drug money was the only thing that prevented the collapse of the global economy in two though and eight.”

“Why’s that?” Panting, following Bob up the steam incline, he reached out to lend you a hand, pulling you up the hill as he continued to walk beside you, just in front of you. His hands helping to guide you up as you played damsel. Bob knew you were fine, you just didn't want to be hiking right now, on your one day off the rest and recover.

“Because drug money was the only available cash to prop up big banks—without drugs, without addiction, shit would probably go tits up.”

“So what you’re trying to say is, I’m a closeted drug addict and my drug of choice is my toxic ex?” Bob knew he’d gone a little in depth with the facts, but he wouldn’t deny he was a numbers person. Facts and statistics was his way of life. “How’d you manage to make such a black and white argument grey?”

“I just don’t think it’s inherently something that’s good or bad—just, promise you won’t let whoever this guy is, when you ultimately go back to him—“

“I won’t.” You tried to defend yourself, Bob didn’t let you finish as he jogged ahead of you, turning to face you with a stirn finger pointed your way. The sun in his eyes— he’d forgotten his favourite hat.

“Ah but see! All addicts say the same damn thing, you know he’s bad for you, you recognise the damage he does, but the euphoria that you get with him just outweighs the consequences.” Bob had you trapped in your own defence. “Next thing you know you’re on the street—“

“Could be worse right?” Bob looked at you with concern, evident in his eyes. “Well I mean I could end up dead right? But you can’t overdose on a person can you?” Shrugging your shoulders, following Bob up the incline. Feet crunching the gravel dirt with every step you took. Bob had never seen a clearer addict before in his life—how did he know? Because he was one himself. Only his drug came in the form of adrenaline.

“Just, when it inevitably does happen—don’t forget you aren’t some B-grade constellation prize.” It made you blush, you felt the heat rising in your cheeks as you hid your smile for a brief moment. There was just something about Bob that made you feel at home. “C’mon—we’re running sprint to the top.”

“What!?” You groaned, letting your shoulders slump dramatically as you threw your head back. Bob was the kinda guy who liked to do that In manorial 9/11 stair master workout just for fun. You should have picked up he was psychotic from the get go. “This isn’t funny anymore—“

“Hey, I thought you were great at running away from your problems? It must be exhausting rooting for the anti-hero though, I get it.” Challenging you, Bob took off. His bag clinging to his bare back as you sighed, chasing after him with a huff.

“I've always found that admitting a problem is always the first step to recovery.”

“But I don't think I wanna recover, that's the problem Bob.” You knew you didnt wanna recover, all you’d ever wanted was Bradley bradshaw. But somewhere deep inside you there was a terrible feeling that you'd cut whatever thin thread there was keeping you together. Lying never solved any problem you’d ever had. Perhaps Jake had been right, you should have just told Rooster the truth instead of lying, trying to protect him. But look where that got you?cNowhere and alone. Shaking off the despair, you rubbed your face, pushing the stray hairs away from your face as the wind raced around you and Bob. “Hows’ Hangman?”

“He’s easy to make insecure—I'm sure he’ll get over it.”

“It has been an honour flying with you all. Each one of you represents the very best of the best, this is a very specific mission–my choice is a reflection of that and nothing more.” Maverick stood before the class with his shoulders squared.

“Choose your two foxtrot teams.” Admiral Beau stated firmly as he stood off to the side with his arms behind his back. Watching as Maverick nodded in the opposite direction to where you stood near the back of the room. Hiding amongst the class.

“Payback and Fanboy–” Okay good, you could deal with that. “Phoenix and Bob–” You felt the wind get knocked out of you for a brief moment. Not Bob. Anyone but Bob. in the most sincere, heartfelt way– you couldn't stand the idea of him not coming back from this.

“Choose your wingman–” you had begged, pleaded Pete to choose someone, anyone, besides Rooster to be your wingman. You had even told him that flying with Hangman, although it may cost you your life, would be better than flying with Rooster.

There were a total of two men in your life you never wanted to fly with on a serious mission. Those men being Bradley Bradshaw and Robert Floyd. The only real reason you had to be so reluctant was because to see them burn out would mean the death of you too. You weren't strong enough to come back from seeing that, you knew that much for sure. There was a split second, a brief pause, a glimpse in Mavericks eyes that had you for the briefest of seconds thinking he had listened. But fuck where you wrong.

“Rooster–” Fuck.

“And team lead?” There had never been a worst position to be in. You knew some of the class knew, others maybe not. Standing to the back of the room would mean the quickest escape to grab your gear, get the fuck out and get this voer with.

“Chaos.”

“Chaos!” Jake shouted as he came jogging over. Bob took it as his sign to leave. Deciding a hug was more fitting than a handshake. Embracing you with open and inviting arms, Bob consumed you entirely.

“I'll see you on the other side yeah?” pulling away, he kept his hands firmly on your shoulders. “And dont do anything stupid, we get in, we get out.”

“Absolutely I wouldn't even dream of it.” Tapping your shoulder Bob let you go, turning on his heels to make his way over to his F-18, Phoenix waiting for him as Hangman approached you. “Hangman–”

“You give 'em hell–” Jake stuck his hand out for you to shake, graciously you took it. Looking him square in the eyes as you did so. “There is no better pilot for the job than you.”

“Do me a favour? When this is all over? You and me, we’re gonna settle our differences, you and me– the Hard Deck ,six o’clock.” Jake chuckled as he let his hand drop. Standing before you as you smiled his way. He knew you were deflecting from your own self doubt. But for now he’d let you–because it seemed to be working rough to hold you together.

“Deal–I'll book it in with Penny.”

There wasn't much time left, by the time you had finished taking your tags off– Hondo was coming at you telling you it was time. You couldn't put it off any longer even if you wanted to. Doing one final lap of your F-18, Rooster was walking your way.

“Lieutenant Kazansky!” Rooster shouted over the roaring sounds of F-18 engines. “Ma’am!” of fuck the actual fuck off, was he really resorting to ma’am? “Lieutenant–”

“Rooster, it's Chaos or Y/n, stop with the ma’am bullshit before I decide to knock it out of you.”

“I just wanted to say–” Obnoxiously loud radio chatter cut Rooster off before he could finish. Which was probably a good thing, he was probably about to say something stupid—something he’d regret or most likely wish he never said. Fear riddling his central nervous system to the point he wasn’t thinking straight, that much was clear.

“We’ll talk, when we get back–” You stepped a little closer, fingers reaching for Roosters. Softly playing with his fingertips as you kept your gaze on the ground. Not daring to look up. “We’ll talk about everything–” Nodding in response, Rooster swallowed the lump in his throat he couldn’t seem to get rid of. Stepping back and away. Sweating balls. A nervous mess.

“Hey– Brad! Bradley! Hey!” Shouting you caught his attention. Watching as he turned to face you from across the deck. “You got this– don't think, just do.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Terrifying. That’s what it felt like to be in your F-18, ready for take off. “Dagger one, up and ready on catapult one.”

“Dagger spare, standing by.” Hangman was the first to confirm his position after you.

“Dagger four up and ready–” Then Payback.

“Dagger three, up and ready” Then Phoenix.

“Dagger two, up and ready. “ And last my certainly not least– Bradley Bradshaw. Something you would never get used to was the force of being propelled from a carrier. The way the cord snapped back and let you go at a million miles an hour–take off from a short runway, moreso a taxiway was one of your greatest fears. That and being used as a personal plaything by Bradley. There was something so dehumanising in the way you would so easily allow him to come back and forth into your life, but when things were good? They were great. But when things were bad? It made the depths of hell seem like a summer vacation. A holiday destination you'd rather visit instead of having to deal with the heartbreak he left every time he’d walk away.

But Bradley bradshaw was a changed man, right?

“Comanche, dagger one standby check in.” Flying steady as you looked at your radio. Trying to push any and all thoughts of Rooster to the side. An achievement you were unlikely to achieve.

“Comanche, one one set, picture clean recommend dagger continue.”

“Copy Daggers descending below radar.” It wasn't very professional of you to be clouded with thoughts of Rooster as you flew closer and closer into enemy territory. If anything, having a clouded mind could easily get you killed. Letting emotion get the better of you was the last thing you wanted to be a victim of while flying a mission like this.

“Daggers now below radar, switching to E-2 picture.” Lilian, Camanche, addressed the carrier as she switched signals. It was unsettling to know you weren't on radar anymore. To begin to think things could go wrong now would be sentencing you and your team to an unlikely death. But you couldn't help but wonder without a radar signal, who would come find you if things went south? Would you have to claw your way back–would Adrial beau care? Would he send a rescue? Would he send his spare in?

“Here we go, enemy territory up ahead in sixty seconds, Comanche dagger one picture.”

“Comanche picture clean, decision is yours.”

“Copy–dagger attack.” Not even a few short seconds went by before you heard and saw the tomahawks fly over the top of you. There was no turning back now. “Daggers, assume attack formation.” Phoenix and Bob settled in on your tail. Rooster behind them, Payback and Fanboy at the tail end of the group. Picture perfect.

With a deep inhale and a slow burn exhale, you closed your eyes for a brief moment and prayed to whatever god was listening. To whatever guardian angel—your or not, who would watch over everyone. Bring them home safe to their families. “Daggers set, proceeding to target, two minutes and 30 seconds in three, two, one, mark.”

“Two mark.” Rooster checked directly after you.

“Three mark.” Payback reported, his timer set and counting.

“Four mark.” Phenix stated, still right on your tail.

“Going in–” The terrain itself was stunning. Snow covered mountains that were decorated with pines. It seemed as if it had been plucked right from a scene in those tacky Christmas holiday love story movies. As you throttled forward, all four of the F-18’s engines began shrieking. Reminding you that this was anything but a Christmas movie. This was real and this was serious and this could be deadly if you didn’t put your entire being into this. “First SAM site overhead.”

“Looks like we're clear on radar Chaos.” Phoenix was quick to interject.

“Let's not take that for granted.” Smirking softly as you turned left and right—sharp corners at every turn.

“More SAM’s, three o’clock high!” Fanboy spotted, you were grateful for the backseats because honestly you hadn’t even seen the SAM’s he was talking about. Your head in the clouds.

”We got two minutes to target.” Bob’s voice rattled through your radio. An underlying nervousness in his tone. Scared–but not enough to not know what an honour it was to fly this mission, with this group of highly skilled, highly trained pilots.

“Copy–” Payback was the first to respond. “We’re a few seconds behind, Rooster, we gotta move.”

“Dagger one, Comanche, we’re picking up two bandits. Single group, two contacts.”

“Comanche, what's their heading?” Phoenix was quick to ask.

“Bulls-eye 090, 50, tacked southwest.”

“They’re heading away from us, they don't know we’re here.” Rooster was sweating head to toe. Nervous as all hell. He didn't think he was ready for this, the way you had so confidently said you didn't believe he was ready either had stunted him. Although Jake had pulled him aside later that same night to say you were full of it–that you’d only said it so he’d stay behind, safe. It was still enough to curve him. Rattle him enough to have his nerves at an all time high.

“The second those Tomahawks hit the air base, those bandits are gonna move to defend the target–we have to get there before they do.Increase speed.” It really wasn't long after you had mentioned the tomahawks that they had hit the runways. Blowing them to smithereens as you got confirmation from the carrier it had been a successful hit.

“We got you Chaos, don't wait for me!” Phoenix’s voice came through strong on your radio.

“Bandits are switching course to defend the target.” The enemy well and truly knew you were coming as Lilian radioed in from her radio station.

“Rooster, where are you?” It wasn’t a question you wanted any response to other than right behind you. But that wasn’t what you were gonna get. His lack of motivation to go any faster then a snail had you generally concerened for his wellbeing, as a pilot of a fucking incredibly high staks mission and as a legitimate friend.

“C’mon Rooster, bandits inbound, we gotta make up time now– let's turn and burn.” Payback was the first to respond, trying to shake Rooster out of whatever state of mind he was in.

“Heads up Phoenix–” Flipping to your side with a sharp pull on your throttle—you sped through the arches of a bridge that hadn’t been simulated on the course you’d all been running the last few weeks. Phoenix still hot on your tail followed suit. Flawlessly.

“Guys, we’re falling behind, we really gotta move.” You heard everything going on behind you, not being able to turn back was killing you because it didn't just feel like you were leaving lieutenant Bradshaw behind. It felt like you were leaving your best friend behind, the love of your life. It probably felt that way because he was, you were leaving him behind–and after your last wingman? That wasn't something you could bring yourself to do. Never again. Fanboy was doing everything he could from his seat in the back of Paybacks F-18.

“If we don't increase our speed right now, those bandits are gonna be waiting for us when we reach the target.” Listening to Payback trying to coerce Rooster into getting his head in the game was starting to take its toll on you. Throwing caution to the wind with everyone around–including but not limited to the entire dager squad, the Admirals and an entire team of operations specialists listening in on over correspondence spoken.

“C’mon Rooster you can do it, don't think–just do.” Something in the way you said it really had Rooster listening, his chest warm as his heart grew. You really didn't understand just how much your words could affect him. The simplest of sentences could send him into overdrive or bring him to his knees. And this—sent him into hyperactive hyperdrive. “Don't think B’rad, just do.”

Channelling his dad's energy, Rooster shoved his throttle forward as he felt the G force around him change. Climbing rapidly as he raced against the clock to catch up.

“Jesus Rooster not that fast” Payback shouted as he suddenly felt like the one who was left behind. Watching in disbelief as Rooster hightailed it through the valley at high speed.

“That's it Bradshaw, that's it.” Smirking to yourself you knew Rooster would catch up. He’d make up for lost time now that he had his thumb out of his ass.

“Damn Rooster take it easy!” Fanboy teased—knowing Rooster was probably going a little faster then he honestly would have liked to have been. Purely to get back to you.

“Thirty seconds to target, Bob check your laser.!” It was becoming a race against the clock more so than ever before as you approached the target.

“Air to ground check complete, laser cose verified one six, eight eight. Laser is a go.” Bob confirmed, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He was so nervous.

“Phoenix, stand by for pop-up strike.” This was it, everything came down to this.

“Dagger three in position.” Phoenix confirmed flying hot on your tail.

“Popping in three, two, one.” inverting was always one of your favourite manoeuvres to pull, it made you feel invincible. Immortal for a split second. Coming back to a neutral position as you tried your best to steady your eyes on the target. The pressure on. “Get me eyes on that target, Bob–”

“Dagger three, stand by Chaos–” you could hear the panic lacing Bob's voice as he worked as fast as he could to get control over his weapons systems.

“C’mon Bob, C’mon!” You couldn't hold off for much longer, running out of time as you approached the target. It was now or never and never wasn't an option.

“Stand by!--” It felt like the longest few seconds of your entire life as you waited for the tone to sound. “I've got it, captured.” The sweet sweet sound of Bob's voice filled your cockpit as the radio blared with the confirmation you needed.

“Target acquired bombs away.” There was not another second to spare as your dropped your bombs. “Popping in three, two, one!” Pulling up the nose of your F-18, you fought against everything that told you to pass the fuck out. The force against your body nothing like you’d ever imagined as you felt the black ring around your eyes consuming you.

“We’ve got impact! Check! Direct hit direct hit!” Bob’s voice pulled you back from the brink as he confirmed you’d managed to actually hit the target. The taste of sweet sweet success had never tasted so sweet. But as sweet as success tasted there was a bitter aftertaste– where the hell was Rooster?

“Dagger two status!” It came out more pained than it should have, but fighting against the urge to pass out and the force of a thousand elephants crushing your chest will do that to you.

“Almost there Chaos almost there– Fanboy where my laser.” Rooster replied as he inverted over the lip of the mountain. Not far away at all. But after Roosters initial reply everything seemed to blur together as radio white noise.

“Rooster, there's something wrong with this laser! Shit deadeye deadeye deadeye!”

“C'mon guys we’re running out of him. Get it online”

“Come on Fanboy, get it online.”

“There's no time, im dropping blind–”

“Rooster i got this–”

“No time Pull up!”

Rooster–!”

“Bombs away, Bombs away!!”

“We’re not out of this yet.” Warning signals blared the moment you flew up above the SAM’s. Instantly on you the millisecond you were in their airspace.“Here it comes!” Your radar wasn't that far off. Signalling that you were in shit, deep. “Radar warning! Smoke in the air! Phoenix, break right!”

“Emergency jettison, Dagger three defending!” Phoenix's voice came through strongly on your radio as she followed your instructions.

“Here comes another one!” Bob reported as he tossed and turned in his seat–looking every which way he could to see where the next SAM was coming from. Your second pair of eyes in the sky.

“Dagger one defending!” You coudlnt have smacked your first against your emergency flare trap if you wanted to. Deploying your flares, looking around to see the SAM’s explode behind you. “Rooster status?” it wasn't a question, but an order. Rooster heard it in your voice as he came over coffin corner.

“Oh my god–” You heard him, that was enough confirmation you needed to know he was still in the game. Still alive. “Smoke in the air!! smoke in the air!!” But knowing SAM’s were hot on his tail the second he breached coffin corner was something that made your heart stop. This was a fucking mess. But if you got out of this alive? There was only one thing you wanted to do more than anything else in the entire world. Just make things right.

“Break right Payback!”

“Breaking right!”

“Oh my god, here they come!” Fanboy.

“SAM on your six Rooster!”

“Deploying countermeasures!” “Negative contact.”

“Dagger one defending–”

“Talk to me Bob.”

“Break right phoenix break right! Nine o’clock nine o’clock!”

“Rooster two more on your six!”

“Dagger two defending!” emergency flares.

“Payback, SAM on your nose!��

“Dagger four defending!”

“Rooster tally, seven o’clock–”

It was all becoming too much to hear, too much to focus on, everything seemed to mash into one big mess inside your head.

“Talk to me Bob!”

“Dagger two defending”

“Phoenix break right!”

“I see it!” A mess of overlapping radio chatter until. Well, until it wasn't– until Rooster drew you out of the flurry you were in. deep in it.

“Dagger two defending–” Rooster groaned as he hit his flare cap. “Shit! I'm out of flares!” Your heart sunk, panic rose as you watched Rooster try and shake the SAM’s that kept coming his way.

“Rooster evade evade!” You shouted, tears welling in your eyes as you turned around. Splitting your throttles quicker than you could say I got you. This was Bradley Bradshaw you were protecting, you'd do anything for him– anything. Bob had said it months ago, you were an addict. You’d always go back for more no matter how bad he was for you. How bad you were for him.

“I can't shake em, they're on me! They’re on me!!” Shouting, Rooster panicked as you flew towards him. Not a thought behind your eyes besides protecting the one man who drove you fucking crazy with blind rage. The one man who knew all your secrets, all the flaws. The one man who loved you as fiercely and as passionately as he hated himself for loving you. Bradley Bradshaw wasn't just some pilot on some suicide mission you were leading. He was your best friend, the love of your life. To not save him would be to live a life alone, always regretting that you let him go.

“I can't do this again–” You whispered to yourself as you said a silent prayer to whatever god was watching over you. Whichever one that would listen you didn't really care. All you wanted was for Rooster to be alright. Be safe. Be able to go home. Even if to him his home was you. Wherever Rooster was? Home was wherever you were.

Without thinking, without hesitation, you pulled back on your throttle, sending your F-18 up, climbing in altitude as you swung up and above Rooster, hitting your flares to protect him. You felt the heat rising as you took out one of the SAM’s that were coming at Rooster, but it only grew as another blew out the back of your F-18.

“Fuck!!” Sending you spiralling into the valley below. Your skin burned under your flight suit, shrapnel embedded itself into your shoulder as you pulled your ejection cords. Punching out of the jet as it fell from the sky. Falling to the ground uncontrollably as you struggled with your shoot. “C’mon– c’mon!!” Ripping the cord just in enough time to slow you down before the tree line.

“Chaos!! No!!” Rooster shouted as pure panic consumed him. “Y/n!!” Watching the fireball that had been your F-18 crash into the valley below uncontrollably.

“Dagger one is hit! I repeat, Dagger one is hit! Chaos is down!” Phoenix reported back to the carrier. Bob couldn’t breathe, he’d told you not to do anything stupid. Why did you not listen? Addicts never listened.

“Dagger one status?” Rooster pleaded through the radio as he watched your F-18 go down in what would only be described as a fireball. Thick black clouds of smoke following. “Status?-- shit does anyone see her?” Rooster's voice became more panicked the longer he went without a definitive response. Flying around he couldn't see you. “Dagger one come in!”

“I didn't see a parachute–” Payback confirmed as he followed Rooster right on his tail.

“We have to circle back!” Rooster wasn't putting it to the group for questioning. He was going back, that wasn't an negotiable option. But that didn't stop them from trying.

“Comanche, bandits inbound, single group hot. Recommend dagger flow south– one minute to intercept.”

“All dagger flow to ecp–”

“What about chaos!?” Rooster hissed. Tears welling in his eyes– enough to the point where they steamed down his cheeks.

“Dagger spare requesting permission to launch and fly air cover!” Back on the carrier, Jake Seresin sat idly by at the hands of the Admirals who shook their heads despite his plea.

“Negative spare–” At the sound of the order he’d received Hangman threw his mask down with a frustrated grown. You weren't a quitter, if anything you were a fighter. But this? Was enough to break even the strongest of people. You had told him you wouldn't get to come back from this one, Jake just didn't know you meant like this.

“Dagger two you are not to engage, repeat you are not to engage.” It was a nightmare Rooster had never really thought about. Losing you on a mission, having you there one minute then being gone the next. Sacrificing yourself for him was also something Rooster was not about to let you do. “Dagger two return to carrier– acknowledge.” He’s been lucky this far in his career to not have flown a mission with you. And of course the first was the last.

“Rooster, those bandits are closing, we can't go back.” It killed him to say it but Bob knew he had to, in order to not lose anyone else today. He’d told you not to do anything stupid, so he wasnt going to do that either. Holding back his only emotions, because this wasnt over yet– Bob was the first to make the conclusion everyone was afraid to make. “Rooster, she's gone–Chaos is gone.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

The chill of snow captivated you entirely. It stung, like when you’d hold something cold for far too long. Everything hurt. From the blood that had seeped into your flight suit from the wound you had on your shoulder—to the pressure forcing itself down onto your lungs. Your ribs were on fire, your nose bloodied. Pushing yourself up onto your knees felt like a task only the fittest of people could do. But you pushed through, taking in your surroundings. Snow, trees, more snow and more trees.

With a heavy sigh, you sat back on your feet, legs bent as you focused on breathing– chuckling softly at the disbelief you were alive.

Your head spun at the sound of what you could only assume was an approaching helicopter. Almost definitely not one of yours. Scrambling as fast as you could against the clock to unclip your parachute. Watching in a flurry as it came around the corner—tracking you down.

“Fuck—“ You mermered to yourself as you worked a little faster. “Fuck fuck fuck—“ Struggling to breath, struggling to run, struggling to do just about anything as you ran for your god damn life through the snow– you decided that jumping over a nearby job that looked as if it could hide you would be your best option. You couldn't outrun a helicopter.

“Fuck!” Screaming at the top of your lungs, you curled yourself up into a ball as the enemy helicopter fired rounds your way. Missing every time but only by mere centimetres. So close you could feel the residual heat coming from them. “Oh my god–fuck!” Holding your shoulder you watched as the helicopter came around to face you, staring down the barrel of a gun, accepting your fate– you gave in. Shutting your eyes tight, you heard the sound of explosions, being met with sight of the helicopter blown to pieces when you opened them curiously. Watching as Roosters F-18 came racing by. Enemy SAM’s making contact with the tail of his F-18, forcing him down.

“Oh God No–” With pure panic bubbling to the surface as you stood, you watched as Rooster was struck, his F-18 spiralling down towards earth on fire. “Rooster! Fuck! No no no no no!” It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, you were bleeding from God only knows where with injuries unknown and countless–but you had to get to him. That wasn't negotiable.

Racing through the snow, trees lining the way, you ran as fast as your body would allow you to and then some. Pushing through everything you felt to get to Rooster. Seeing him casually folding up his parachute.

“You alright!?” You didn't let your legs slow down until you got to where Rooster was crouching over. Standing, he replied.

“Yeah, I'm good! What about you?” With a heavy shove to his chest you had Rooster on his back in the snow. Watching as he ripped his helmet from his face as you did the same. “What the hell!?” Rooster stood to his feet in a fluffy, his eyes beaming at you. Anger laced his tone as he got in your face.

“Fucking idiot! What are you doing here!?” You couldn’t hold in your anger. You thought he’d been stupid enough to sacrifice himself for you.

“What am I doing here?” Rooster repeated as you huffed, clearing injured and out of breath. Your good arm, working to cradle your clearly not okay arm. Holding your forearm close to your chest as you held the weight of your arm—taking pressure off your shoulder. Your collarbone throbbing. Ribs collapsing into your lungs.

“You think I took that missile so you could be down here with me!? You should be back on the carrier by now!?”

“I SAVED YOUR LIFE!” Leaning into it, Rooster gritted his teeth. Defending his actions as you puffed your chest. Still cradling your arm.

“No! I saved YOUR life! That’s the whole point! What the fuck where you even thinking!!”

“You told me not to think!” You had nothing to come back at him with. You had told him that, on many occasions. You just never expected he’d use your own logic against you. Stunned into silence– you watched as Rooster held his arms up and slammed them back down into his sides in a what the hell kinda way.

Out of breath and knowing that Rooster was alive, you let out a sigh of relief. Rooster stopped to look around for a brief moment– taking in the terrain.

“Well, it's good to see you.” You cooed, standing tall as blood dripped from your shoulder, seeping into your flight suit. Staining it a dark crimson colour.

“It's good to see you too–” Pausing briefly as his eyes wandered down to where the colour of your suit had changed, Rooster's heart sank. “Your bleeding?” Coming closer, you leaned into his touch. Feeling a little light headed as Rooster worked to unbutton a few of your flight suit buttons to get a closer look. Grimacing at the sight. “Well it certainly looks worse than it probably feels.”

“Feels like I've been shot by a flare.” The taste of iron covered your taste buds as blood dripped from your nose. Working to wipe it away with the sleeve of your suit.

“Little dramatic but I'd say some form of shrapnel.” Rooster mumbled as he worked to do up the buttons he had undone. “Other than that? You alright?” Silence fell between you as you looked up into Rooster's eyes. Noticing the blood on his neck.

Nodding you pressed your lips together—knowing if you spoke you’d be lying through your teeth. You didn't want to say anything else about any other injuries because you didn't know what was wrong. All your knew was that everything fucking hurt.

“I didn’t mean what I said.” It hurt to speak but you pushed it aside. Reaching out with your good arm to wipe the dirt off Roosters cheek. “I just didn’t want you flying this stupid mission.” You did it all for love.

“Yeah, I gathered that.” Rooster smirked as he reached out to cup your cheeks, standing so close although you were standing in the snow? You felt nothing but warmth. His warmth. “Hangman told me—“

“That fucker—I told him in—“ Rooster didn’t let you finish. His lips were warm against yours for what felt like a lifetime. Time stood still as he deepened it, desperately needed to just be with you. “When we get outta this mess, that's it okay—no more games, I wanna make this, us–work.” It hurt to hold your breath or whatever breath your lungs could hold as you kissed Rooster back. His hands still cupping your cheeks, holding you close to him as snow fell around you. “I thought for a moment there that I’d lost you for good and I’ll never shake that feeling.”

“Rooster—“

“Marry me?” Okay yeah now you couldn’t breathe.

“Did you hit your head?” Reaching out to inspect Rooster’s head, you frowned in response to his out there question. Listening to him chuckle as he shook his head. “What the hell—you hit your head didn't you?”

“I’m serious. Marry me Y/n.” Rooster was as serious as a heart attack.

“Bradley, we’re standing in enemy territory, I don’t know how to get us out of here and you already know whatever we are just isn’t—“

“Don’t think, just do.” Rooster smirked as he kissed you again. His hands squishing your cheeks together as you chuckled into his touch. Pulling away because you genuinely couldn’t breathe, your ribs crushing your lungs.

“Okay okay—I’ll think about it.” Silence fell as your eyes met Roosters. “When we get outta this mess, ask me again.” Roosters hands lingering on your hips—keeping you close as snow fell around you. “We need a plan.” Kissing the top of your head as he pulled you in, Rooster was unaware of the pain you were in.

“Well—what's the plan?” But despite the pain, you still had to figure a way out of here.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Alarm bells rang throughout the valley as you and Rooster laid parched at the lookout point you'd decided was the best vantage point. Holding your binoculars up, you handed them over to Rooster who was looking at you as if you were crazy. You’d have to have hit your head, this was crazy even for you.

“You're not serious?” looking at you with disbelief evident is his eyes Rooster asked if you were bat shit crazy. “You've gotta be shitting me, an F-14?” Rooster held the binoculars up to his eyes one more time to confirm what he was seeing, what he was hearing. There was no way this was your plan. Stupic, idiotic and absolutely chaotic at best.

“Mav’s shot down two MiG’s in one of those things–” You never took your eyes off the prize. This was the only way to get you and Rooster home. The only way you could come up with. “We need a way out—the only way out is to go out the same way we got in, fly.”

“Are you mentally deficient Chaos? This is a suicide mission—“ Rooster argued as he laid beside you on his stomach.

“What, and you thought blowing up all that Uranium wasn’t?” Rooster had to admit he got you there. “Rooster I learnt a long ago that if the Navy was only going to see a girl that’s dangerous, a force to be reckoned with and way too stubborn, then there’s no point in trying to be anything else—they aren’t coming back for me, for you, this is the only way we’re getting out of this alive.”

“We don't even know if that bag of ass can fly! Also, you've never flown one before!” Hissing through gritted teeth Rooster watched as you sat back on your knees, groaning softly as you cupped your side. Your bad arm still resting against your torso. Trying to keep it still without a sling was proving to be a little difficult.

“Let's find out–” You waisted no time as you pushed yourself up onto your feet—marching out into enemy territory.

“Chaos!” Rooster whisper shouted as he reached out for you, slipping through his fingertips as always. “Okay–” Deciding he didn't want to be left behind, Rooster ran after you, catching up quickly as you continued scouting the area. Feeling the brick wall that was Rooster crashing into the back of you as he lost his footing for a second.

“There's guys up there Chaos–”

“Yep–” You acknowledged Rooster as his hands guided your hips.

“There's more over there–” Looking around frantically, Rooster shoved you softly, forcing you to pick up the pace as you saw people running around you. Most likely heading to their stations.

“Okay–let's start running.”

“Yeah, run, run!” It really didn’t take the two of you long to reach the hangar where the old F-14 sat tucked away. Panting as you struggled to breathe—Rooster's stomach dropped at the feeling something might not be okay. “Hey you good?” His hand on the small of your back as you looked over the generator. A million things you had no idea what did or didn’t do. But a few things stood out.

“I’m fine.” It was a blatant lie, but to mention you felt like you were dying would be to worry Rooster for no good reason. “Okay so when I give you the signal for air, you're gonna flip this switch until the needle gets to one twenty.” Rooster listened as you explained what you needed him to do. “When the engine starts, you gotta pull out the pins and disconnect everything– do you understand?”

“How do you know all this?” There really wasn’t time to go into depth about how you’d taken an old aviation course a while back. Nothing serious, but it gave you enough basic knowledge to guess your way through this.

“No time for that now, do you understand?” Shaking off Roosters curiosity.

“Yeah– yeah I'm good.”

“Good.” Turning to try and get power going, you couldn't hold in your excitement when the generator kicked off. “Yes!--’ Racing off as you held your shoulder firmly, losing blood a little quicker than you would have liked to have been.

“Once I'm up, stow the ladder.” Placing your helmet on as Rooster watched on almost starstruck. He couldn't believe this was happening. He always thought you would be the death of him, but this wasn't what he had on his bingo card. Watching as you climbed up the ladder, stowing it away shortly after you sat down in the cockpit.

“Okay wow–talk to me Mav, what am I looking at here?” You mumbled to yourself as electronic wiring filled the cockpit as you gave Rooster the signal. Firing up the engines, Rooster raced around untagging and pulling pins. Jumping up onto the wing of the F-14 before settling in behind you.

“Oh my god this thing is so old–” Rooster had never flown with you before. Sure, he’d flown with you in terms of training—but he’d never been your back seater. He’d never been in the same cockpit as you.

“Canopy?” Rooster knew what type of pilot you were, reckless and crazy.

“Clear–!” But that was exactly what you both needed to get you out of here alive. Try or die. Pulling out of the hanger slowly, the creaking of aluminium filled your eardrums as you hit the breaks. Fuck— there way nothing left.

“Both runways are cratered, how are we gonna get this museum piece in the air?” Rooster asked as he sat behind you. Watching as you flipped the safety up—extending the wings out as if you were preparing for takeoff.

“Why are the wings coming out, Chaos?” You couldn’t help but to chuckle at how ridiculous it sounded coming out of Roosters mouth. He knew exactly why the wings were coming out—he just didn’t want to believe you were inherently this fucking crazy. This desperate. “Chaos this is a taxiway, not a runway, this is a very short taxiway Chaos!”

“Rooster just hang on–” You didn't see another way out. Committing as you fired up everything the old nF-14 had to give as full speed. Sending you both back against your chairs.

“Holy Shit!” If Rooster lived to see the day, he swore to himself that if he ever had the chance to have children, he’d be sure to tell them about the time their mother used a taxiway as a runway. Hopefully that would be enough to convince them of just how crazy you were. Perhaps maybe they'd be too scared to be reckless themselves.

“C’mon c’mon c’mon needles alive, c’mon– You grinned as you watched the needle climb, pulling up on your throttle as your landing gear left the taxiway.

“Chaos!!” Rooster shouted as he felt you lifting off.

“That's it, c'mon! C’mon! Here we go!”

“Holy shit!” Rooster felt like he was going to be sick, this was crazy even for you. The craziest thing he’d ever seen anyone do, and he knew Maverick. This took the cake. He felt the landing gear rip off the bottom of the F-14 as you just barely missed the top of the lookout. Exhaling in relief, Rooster turned his ESAT on. “You’re fucking crazy–”

“Hey if you have any ideas air them now Bradshaw–” Laughing together, you thought you were home free.”Can you work on getting us in touch with the boat?”

“Yeah, working on it, but the radio’s out, we have no radar, everything is dead back here. What should I do? talk me through it.”

“Okay, um–first the radio, throw the uh–UHF-2 breaker, try that?” There was something incredibly attractive about the way you told him what to do. Rooster knew it was probably really bad timing, but he couldn't help the way he felt. It was empowering, you were strong and fierce and everything his mother told him to find in a woman.

“There are three hundred breakers back there, anything more specific?” Rooster looked around at all the breakers trying to find the one you'd told him to try, completely overwhelmed.

“I’ve only taken a short course on old aviation and navigation, dad and Mav never really talked all that much about anything like that– I think it was more of your dad's department.”

“I'll figure it out.” Flying steady, it was almost too good to be true. Too easy, pulled off without a hitch. There was a small part of you that felt like something else was about to go wrong. The engine would die or the wings would fall off. “Chaos tally two five o’clock low.” Well it wasn't what you were imagining but it was still serious. “what do we do?”

“Okay listen, just be cool, if they knew who we were, we’d be dead already.” That much was ture. Scrambling your brain trying to come up with a plan, but there was nothing–you were running on empty.

“Well, here they come– what's your plan?” You wanted to be honest and say you didn't have one, because you really didn't. But you couldn't go down without a fight–not when you had Roosters life on the line as well. You were getting yourself out of this. Getting Rooster out of this.

“Just put your mask on, remember, we’re on the same team.” Flying up beside you the bandits gestured a few things you weren't sure of, signalling back you tried to say you could hear. That must have told them something was off. Watching as he filled back. “Oh shit his wingman is moving into weapons envelope.” Alright, listen up– when I tell you, you grab those rings above your head.” Rooster looked up to where the yellow and black striped rope was above his head. “That's the ejection handle.”

“Chaos can we outrun these guys?”

“Not their missiles and guns.”

“Then it's a dog fight–” You let Rooster's words linger in the air for a moment. He knew you had it in you, but something was stopping you from being reckless.

“An F-14, against fifth generation fighters?” Arguing the point, you really didn't want to have to admit you didn't think you could do it. Your lungs felt like they were full of water, your heart burned, your shoulder throbbed and your nose felt like it was ten times bigger than it should have been. You’d done a bang up job on yourself that was for sure.

“It's not the plane, it's the pilot.” Rooster's voice was soft, a starck contrast to the situation you were both facing right now. “I know you’d go after then if I wasn't here.”

“But you are here–” The way you said it, such softness in your tone, such a love, with such a desire to protect him. Rooster had to snap you out of it because he knew you better than anyone and there was no one else who could get the two of you out of this. It was do or die trying, there wasn't any room to hold back.

“C’mon Chaos, don't think, just do.” As if something possessed you in the blink of an eye—you were pulling back on the throttle violently. Forcing your jet behind the firs bandit before hammering in with your guns. Peppering the aluminium. “Tell me when you see smoke in the air!” Rooster did his best to stay in his seat as you broke left, then right. Doing your best to evade the second bandit. Turning around to look at the missile coming directly at you—tone ringing throughout the cockpit.

“Smoke in the air!! smoke in the air!”

“Hang on!” Turning left as sharp as you could, you swung low–racing past the bandit that was already on its way down. The missile that had been heading directly at you making contact with the bandit as you cut in front of him.

“Yeah Chaos! Splash one splash one!” Rooster cheered behind you, turning to see the bandit on your tail had fired yet another missile. “Here comes another one.”

“Rooster flares, now, now, now!” Rooster did as he was told, working quickly to deploy countermeasures, flares popping as he held his finst against the button. “Splitting the throttles, coming around.” You knew you were talking to yourself at this point but you didn't really care. It seemed to help as you pulled back and fell behind the bandit. Now positioned behind him once again. Chasing him down as you tried your best to get your targeting system on him. “Give me tone give me tone” The target lock beeped rapidly–notifying you that you had him locked. Or her– you weren't really sure and you didn't really care, it was them or you.

“You got him Chaos you got him!” Rooster kept doing his best to keep you focused, keep you fighting. He couldn't really do anything else. All his systems were down, he wasn't a backseater.

“I'm taking the shot!” As you took the shot with one of only two missiles that you had– you hoped it was a straight shooter. Unfortunately it wasn't, and you couldn't really explain what actually happened even if you tried. Watching as the bandit stalled his engines and flew straight past you, flat in a spin that seemed near impossible to control.

“Holy shit what the fuck was that?” Rooster had never seen a manoeuvre like that, neither had you.

“Hang on, we gotta get low, the terrain will confuse his targeting system.” swinging low, the nose of your F-14 took a steep dive towards the valley, only mere metres above the ground as you took sharp lefts and rights.

“Here he comes!” Rooster announced as he had his head turned. Feeling the not so good sensation of rounds embedding into the aluminium of your F-14.

“We took a hit, we took a hit!” Rooster watched as the bandit gained turf on your tail.

“Talk to me Rooster, where is he?”

“He's still on us!”

“Damit–”

“C’mon Chaos to some of the Vigilante shit!” This felt personal now. You were fucking pissed. You were hurt, bleeding. They say looks could kill and the way you were looking at this bandit right now—How was he not already dead?

“Brace yourself!” You were flying for revenge. Not a single aviation rule applied at this point. Pulling up as you climbed for altitude only to swing back around and cut the engine for a brief second to fall behind again.

“Holy shit!” Rooster usually had a pretty good constitution, but the way you were flying? It had him on the brink of spewing chunks down your back.

“I got tone, taking the shot!” You watched with revenge in your eyes as the Missile went flying towards the bandit. Smoke in the air as he deployed his flares—making contact. “Dammit—I’m out of missiles, switching to guns.”

“You got him Chaos!”

“It's not over yet, once last chance!”

“You can do this!” It felt like you were peering through a window, a deep portal, time travelling

All the love you unravelled and the life you almost gave away as Rooster encouraged you to keep fighting. Memories flashing back as you chased the bandit down.

“I'm trying to break up with you Y/n”

“I can't make you wait for me, I'm not going to do that.”

“I think I'm ready to let go now–”

“Thank you for breaking me to the point where I learned to finally value myself, It took a lot.”

“I'm not doing this anymore, this back and forth bullshit!”

“Well figure out a way to stop because you will be the last person I allow back into my life!”

“Go to hell Kazansky.”

As your mind whipped through a rolodex of memories, you hadnt even noticed you’d pulled the trigger for the final time. Peppering the banit with everything you had left. Roosters cheers, pulling you back from your subconscious.

“Yes! Splash two splash two!!” Bradley couldn't control his excitement if he tried, reacting over to tap your shoulder– not releasing it was your bad one.”

“AH, Fuck!” Hissing through gritted teeth you closed your eyes tight. Flying smooth over the water towards the carrier's last known positioning.

“What, what's wrong?” Rooster asked, not knowing how bad things really were. “Are you alright?”

“Im fine its just–” Pausing briefly, you let out a prolonged exhale as you adjusted yourself. “Just my shoulder Bradshaw, nothing I can't handle, just work on getting us in touch with the carrier.” It didn't take Rooster too long to figure out where that breaker was hiding that you told him about before the bandits had showed up.

Chaos, I got the radio on, gonna get us in touch now–”

“Copy That–” All of a sudden, your alarm systems began blaring. All you could think was not again, had you not been through enough all ready? “Oh my god–” Looking around you began to panic, eyes wide with fear.

“Where the hell is this guy?” Rooster questioned as he did the same, leaving fingerprints on the glass of the cockpit as he twirled in his chair. Looking every which way possible to try and spot the bandit.

“Rooster–he’s on our nose.” There wasn’t a moment more than now where you wished you could wake up screaming from dreaming, quickly acting to fire another round of ammunition—nothing “Dammit it, we’re out of ammo.” With fearful eyes and a heart racing at a million miles an hour—you saw the unimaginable. A missile coming straight for you. “SMOKE IN THE AIR–ROOSTER FLARES!” There was barely any time to react, you’d only just managed to pull up on the throttle. Sending the nose of your F-14 sky high.

“That was close!” Rooster turned in his seat as his eyes followed the bandit, watching with a tight chest and shallow breathing as he came back around. Coming right after you. Pressing his thumb against the flare ignition—nothing. “We’re out of flares Chaos!”

“Shit he's already on us!” Stuck in a tin can, bleeding to death—there wasn’t much else you had up your sleeves. In all accounts you’d put up a pretty good fight, one hell of a fight even. The sound of artillery fire rained down on your F-14, jolting you around as warning bells blared and systems flashed.

“We took another hit.”

“no , no, no, no, no, no–”

“We can't take much more of this!”

“We can't out run this guy, we gotta eject!”

“What?” Rooster would follow you to the end of the earth if you asked him to. But there had to be another way. One more spectacular surprise up your sleeve. You’d gotten him this far, the carrier was in sight.

“We need altitude, pull the ejection handles the second I tell you.”

“Chaos wait–” How could you give up now?

“Rooster there's no other way, eject eject eject!” It felt like the weight of the world was crushing you in on yourself—your lungs burned like smouldering piles of tar. “Rooster–pull the goddamn handle!”

“It's, not, working!” Those three simple words held so much weight. Enough to break you. Rooster tried his best to break the canopy free but it was no use. You’d done even in your power to save him, save yourself. But all your efforts would go unnoticed.

Underneath all your bad blood, you and Rooster still had your sanctum. Despite everything? Bradley Bradshaw was still home.

Although you’d said it a million times over, but it was never too late to build it back everything you had—everything you wanted to have and more. A one-in-a-million chance is still a chance at the end of the day—and for Rooster you would take those odds.

“I’m so sorry—“ There was no time left to unbreak the broken, unsay spoken words, find hope in the hopeless. There was no time to beg for someone to pull you out of the train wreck. There was no time to unbury the ashes or unchain the reactions.

“I'm so sorry Bradley—“ You simply were not ready to die, not yet. As you closed your eyes, knowing soon after you’d be consumed entirely by fire—Rooster voice pulled you back out of the void that had its strong grip around your throat. Numb to almost everything as you held onto whatever life you had in you. Cold, your fingers and toes seemed to be numb. The left side of your body, just nothing. Ghostly.

An air to air kill. That’s what it was. The explosion so big, so powerful—it left clouds of dark black smoke lingering like demons. The gates of hell itself had opened up as a familiar F-18 came soaring through the plumes.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your saviour speaking—“ With a sigh of utter relief and a thankful smirk. You had never been so happy to see Jake Seresin. “Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright positions, and prepare for landing.” Smacking your first twince against the glass of the cockpit, you laughed aloud. So beyond thankful. You were fucking alive—alive long enough to see Rooster back on stable ground. Safe with the people who cared about him the most.

“Hey Hangman–You look good.” Rooster commented from his seat in the back. You couldn’t help but to chuckle as Jake nodded in response before radioing back, the same cocky response he’d given Rooster at the Hard Deck.

“I am good Rooster, I'm very good. I'll see you back on deck.”

“Impeccable timing—“ Rooster sighed as he felt his entire body relax as you followed Hangman back to the carrier. “And exceptional dog fighting, lieutenant Kazansky.”

“I had someone pretty important to protect, I wasn’t going down without a fight.” You had nothing left to give. Fighting with everything you had to stay awake, stay alert and land this F-14. Switching channels as you radios back to the carrier. “Chaos is downwind. No front landing gear, no tailhook, pull the cable and raise the barricade.”

There was something important you had to do. Racing past the bridge of the carrier where both Admiral Beau and Admiral Bates stood. You flew low and close as you held your finger up to the glass. Giving them the bird before your right engine cut out.

“Please don't tell me we lost an engine.” Rooster sighed, what else could possibly go wrong.

“Alright I won't tell you that.” Chuckling you braced for impact. With no landing gear you hit the deck with a thud—scrapping for what felt like miles as the barricade helped to slow you to a complete stop. “You good?”

“Yeah, i'm good–” Nodding as he spoke, Rooster was quick to remove his helmet as the canopy opened. Standing to greet the crowd of overly excited crew who thought for sure you were both goners. “Here, I got you.” It was a simple gesture but a much needed one. Rooster stood on the ladder as he helped you down. Noticing how much blood had soaked your flight suit. “Fucking hell you’re not okay.”

“M’fine.” It came out more of a mumble than a definitive statement but before you could try again Rooster was being hauled away into the crowd of excited cheering men and women. Jake Seresin appeared as the crowd dissipated from around him as they drew their atom Rooster. “Chalked yourself another kill?” You teased as he stood before you. Handing you a handkerchief to wipe the blood off your face that had dripped from your nose. Swollen and surely broken.

“That makes two–”

“Chaos has Five, makes her an ace.” Phoenix was quick to interject as her and Bob joined the conversation. Bob carefully and ever so gently wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in for a hug that he never thought he’d get to give you.

“Lieutenant Kazanksy!” Although even for less then a few minutes,there wasn’t a part of Rooster that didn’t want to be by your side. “Lieutenant Kazansky!” God you couldn't let him speak another word, pulling Rooster in by his flight suit as he neared you. Your lips on his as he leaned into you.

“Thank you for saving my life.” Mumbling against Rooster mouth you felt your heart skipping beats. You tried to tell yourself it was because of Rooster—but deep down? You knew it had something to do with the way everything felt numb. How everything seemed to still, all the noise and colour in the world began to fade.

“You did the same for me–” Rooster cooed just as he noticed how disoriented you’d become. Suddenly dropping forward into him as your legs gave out. “Chaos?” The adrenaline that had been pumping through your veins since that helicopter came after you. “Hey—Y/n?” Tapping your check softly, Rooster dropped to his knees with you limp in his arms. Your eyes on his as you struggled to breathe. “Woah—hey, what’s wrong? Chaos, can you hear me?” You couldn’t hear Rooster, not at all. But you could see his lips moving as Bob worked to clear a space around you—calling for medical staff to intervene.

“Shit—no, no, no, no—hey Y/n you stay with me yeah?” Rooster felt the blood on his hands as it seeped through your flight suit. “Don’t do this, we’re good? Yeah? Your alright—“

“I’ll marry you.” Choking it out as blood leaked from your mouth. “Don’t think, just do.” Eyes rolling as you lost it completely, following whatever force was pulling you away.

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Jake Seresin had become used to the steady melody that was the bells and whistles that let him know you were still fighting. Unlike Rooster, who hadn’t left the hospital let alone Miramar—Hangman would do the usual rounds every few days.

First on his ever growing list of tasks would be to always stop by the nurses station. With his tan service uniform dawned and a smile that could break hearts, he’d lean on the counter and chat to whoever would give him the time of day.

After getting his kicks with the front desk nurses—Jake would make his way to your room. He’d taken it as a good thing when they moved you out of intensive care to general pop. But he didn’t account for the roommates you would acquire. Rooster and Bob had yet to leave, they would tag team watching over you.

Jake would linger at the threshold of the room for a moment, he’d take in the sight of you. Intubated, comatosed, arm in a sling to help your shoulder heel, collarbone broken. With a sigh, he’d put on a brave face. Stalking over to read your chart that hung from the bottom on your bed. By all accounts you seemed to be getting better, so why after three weeks had you shown no sign of waking up.

The next item on the agenda would be to check on Bradley and Bob. The Miramar hospital's latest residences. Jake would pick up the rubbish from takeout, he’d pick dead followers out of the bunches Rooster continued to buy you. He’d place blankets over Bob and Rooster as they laid knocked out old on those uncomfortable as all hell hospital chairs. He’d even go as far as to make sure the window would be cracked open slightly, hoping the fresh air would do good to help you recover.

Today was different though. Because as Jake Seresin stood at the threshold of your hospital room, a bunch of flowers in his hand to replace the decaying ones he’d seen diminishing rapidly on Wednesday—he saw you looking back at him. Eyes tired with a soft smirk evident on your face.

“Well I’ll be damned—“ You didn’t respond, you simply placed your finger over your mouth. Jake understood instantly as he crept into the room. Taking in the fact Rooster and Bob both sat slouched in the corner of the room. One drooling, both slightly snoring with mouths a jar. “How long have you been awake?” Hangman was as quiet as he could be as he placed the bunch of flowers at the foot of your bed.

“About an hour—give or take.” Watching as he pulled up a spare chair, coming close to your bedside as your eyes followed him. “I didn’t wanna wake them.” Gesturing to where Rooster and Bob sat sleeping, leading on one another for support as they caught up on the one thing that seemed to evade them—sleep. Jake followed your gaze for a brief moment before turning back to you. “They look like hell.”

“I dunno if you’ve had a chance to look in the mirror Chaos, but I think it’s safe to say you look the most hellish.”

“And you pick up? With that attitude? Pfft—way to make a girl swoon Seresin.” Laughing hurt, but you pushed throughout the pain. “How long have they been here for?”

“Well Robert decided to join the sleepover after you got out of the intensive care ward—Rooster? I don’t think he’s left your side since the carrier, man had to be detained for a minute there while on board.”

“What why!”

“Because he wouldn’t let you go, people were trying to do their jobs you know, help you—but Rooster just would not let them take you.”You had nearly given your life for him, how could he ever let you go? It probably wasn't the most rational decision, but it was the only one his brain at the time would commit to. In his arms you would be the safest. “Have you spoken to the doctors yet?”

“I told them I’d buzz when I was ready to be poked and prodded—just wanted to kinda lay here and just breathe.” Hangman smirked as he pushed himself out of the chair he sat on, reaching out for the clipboard hanging at the foot of your bed before nestling back into the chair. Leaning back as he flipped through the reports, looking at you grimacing.

“Shrapnel from SAM’s embedded in soft tissue of left shoulder, a broken clavicle—full fitness tear of your subscapularis, seven broken ribs, a punctured lung, broken nose—and to top it all off? Chaos, you had a bloody stroke.” It came as a massive shock to you, Hangman could tell by the way you just shared into his soul. Speechless, stunned. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you managed to fly an F-14 back to the carrier with a busted collarbone—that would’ve been enough to take me out of the fight.”

“I don’t really remember much.” That part was no surprise as Jake flipped the papers back onto the clipboard, setting it aside. “I remember the mission, being hit—everything after that’s pretty blurry.”

Rustling from the corner of the room at you and Jake turned your heads almost completely synchronised to see what all the commotion was about. Bob had stirred himself awake from the sheer lack of comfort. Rubbing his eyes as he yawned—Bob’s eyes met yours and instantly thought he was still dreaming.

“Hi—“ Only when you said something did he stumble over to your bedside, his glasses crooked on the bridge of his nose.

“What? You’re awake!” Too scared to touch you, Bob's hands shook as they hovered over your arm. He’s always known you to be strong, fearless, independent. This was a whole new ball game though. You looked fragile, like paper thin glass that could shatter into a million pieces instantly if he wasn't careful. Bruises still purple, green and yellow. Bandages and stitches covered cuts and deep lacerations. Your nose looked better though, he'd give you that much.

“Seems like it, yeah.”

“How long? Why didn’t anyone wake me? Wake Rooster—?” Bob questioned as he turned back over his shoulder to see Rooster till sleeping soundly.

“An hour give or take, and you looked like you needed the rest.”

“They only took your interbations out like four days ago.” Bob was quick to pull up a chair as he sat down on the other side of you. Still rubbing his eyes, still waking up. Feeling groggy but god was it worth it to have you awake again.

“Miss Chaos here is still defying odds it seems.” Jake Seresin had developed a new apraction for you. He saw you as something higher than a god.

“How long have I been out for?” You weren't really sure how long it had been, but by the scruff that covered Roosters cheeks as he slept it must have been a hot minute or two.

“Three weeks give or take a few days, Doctors thought it could’ve been a lot longer, something about how your body had been put under a lot of stress.” Bob explained as he monitored your heartbeat, the numbers steady, giving him peace of mind. Always such a numbers guy.

“Admiral Beau is pressing for gross misconduct you know.” Hangman let it slip just as Rooster began to stir awake. “Says your injuries were a direct result of your own actions.”

“Doesn't surprise me.” Coughing slightly as Bob handed you one of those small plastic cups full of water. Helping you take a sip carefully. Holding the back of your head gently for support. “He’s not my biggest stan is he?”

“Nope, but he probably won't get very far, especially since he denied my request to fly aircover–” Jake's eyes were full of rage as he cracked his knuckles. Rooster finally came to as he sat up in his chair, the blanket that covered his legs falling absentmindedly to the ground as he groaned, not in pain–but from something that wasn't comfort. “Ah, this should be good.” Jake smirked as he let out a soft chuckle. Bob couldn't hold back his smile as he did the same, leaning back into his chair as Rooster rubbed his eyes. “Hey Bradshaw– look who’s back in the land of the living.” Jake caught Bradleys attention.

“Oh my god!” Bradley Brashaw had never moved so quickly in his life. Racing across the room like a mad man to get to your side. His eyes full of love and admiration as they welled with tears. The happiest of tears to see your smile again. To see your eyes, big and full of life. “You’re awake.”

“And you have a beard.” You couldn't help but to tease, reaching up to cup Roosters cheek as he leaned in to softly kiss your forehead. Something he had done every day for the last three weeks. “I like it.” Rooster smiled against your forehead before pulling away, gesturing for Hangman to move his ass out of the chair he sat in.

“Can you like, move man?”

“Because you asked so nicely.” Hangman winked as he stood. “C’mon Bobby let's go get a bite to eat, I'm starving.” Bob looked panicked as Hangman gestured to him to get up. You sent him the softest of looks knowing he just didn't wanna leave.

“Robert Floyd, I'll be here when you get back.” The way you said it with such certainly gave Bob peace of mind, you looked

“I know what you felt like when everyone said to leave Sam.” Bob's voice was soft as he looked down at his feet. “Promise you’ll be here.” It wasn't a question, Bob needed you to promise or else he wasn't leaving. Reaching out for his hand you held him as tight as you could, which wasn't all that hard.

“I promise.” It hurt to leave you but he knew he had to give you and Rooster some time alone. Standing to his feet Bob let your hand go as you turned your attention back to Bradley. A soft smile plastering itself across your face as you let your head fall back against the pillow. “Hi–”

“Hi yourself.” Bradley beamed as he kissed the back of your hand over and over again. “Shit I dont even know where to start.” Choking back his tears, Rooster just softened his gaze, taking you in for all your wew. The love of his life. “How are you feeling?”

“Um– yeah I've felt better, I won't lie.” You couldn't take your eyes off Rooster, he looked so damn good with that scruff, that almost beard that covered his cheeks and chin. “I don't remember much at all.”

“What do you remember?” Rooster cooed as he ever so lovingly moved as close to you as the chair would allow him to.

“Um–” You could still hear it, how panicked rooster was when he said he was out of flares. “I remember you saying you were out of flares.” Swallowing to stop yourself from choking up. “I remember the heat from the fire, and the weird way the snow burnt too. I can vaguely remember shoving you at one point but that's all I got.” Rooster nodded softly in response as he sat back in his chair.

“Well boy, do I have a story for you.” Rooster sat with you for what had to have been a good hour and a half explaining in depth what had happened. Everything you had done for him. Doctors and nurses worked around him as they did check ups and small assessments. He held your hand as they drew blood and never left your side.

Bradley Bradshaw told you everything that had happened, his hero. Only excluding one key detail. The fact he’d asked you in full confidence to marry him.

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Four Months Later.

“Whatcha doin?” The sound of your walking stick had become a common noise Bradley Bradshaw had associated with your presence. He’d hear the gentle thud against the hardwood floor and know you were somewhere close by.

Your arm wrapping around Roosters torso from behind, he hadnt heard you coming. Turning in your arms Rooster faced you– looking slightly down and you tilted your chin up towards him. He’d kept the beard.

“Where is your walking cane?” You had been spending your time at Roosters childhood home. With Carole gone it sat empty most of the time while he was deployed. With recovery still months ahead, it only seemed out of necessity for you to move in with the man you swore to be by your side every step of the way. Even if it were only a temporary thing.

“In the bin where it belows.” Rooster had been doing some remodelling in his spare time. He’d ripped up the old carpet in the living room–knocked out the old splash-back in the kitchen, even changed the majority of the light fixtures throughout the house.

“Y/n–” Rooster smirked as he let his hands fall softly to your waist, playing with the strap that ran across the circumference of your waist–your arm still in a sling from your shoulder surgery months ago.

“Bradley–?” You questioned back with raised eyebrows.

“You had a stroke, we've talked about this.” Rooster sighed as you huffed at him, pulling away.

“I don't need it anymore! Look!” Spinning around in a small circle as you touched your nose. “See-perfectly fine.” It had only been four months since the Uranium Mission and by all accounts you had been recovering well from your injuries. But time was definitely something you were struggling to accept you needed to heal completely. You hated being grounded, hated being on sick leave, hated not being able to go to work.

“Shit someone call Mav, may as well get you back up in the pilot's seat.” Rooster teased as he crossed his arms. He knew better than anyone else that was killing you. But he had to be the voice of reason.

“You aren't funny–” Sending him a glare you turned on your heels, heading down the hallway.

“Just get your cane so we can go will you?” It was sad that your favourite day of the week had become grocery shopping day. You and Rooster would make a whole day of it.

“Fine– but not because you told me to.” You’d start with the list the night before, both going through the fridge freezer and pantry to see what you had left and what you needed.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Chaos!” Then before you’d even make it to the first of three grocery stores plus the specialty butcher—Rooster would stop by the local cafe, picking up the regular coffees and breakfast bagels you’d never get tired of eating.

Meeting Rooster outside by the passenger side door that he had opened and ready for you to jump on in—he’d pull you into him for a loving kiss. This was the domestic bliss he’d craved for so many years.

“Did you get a new air freshener?” Questioning the intense smell of pine that smacked you in the face. His side of the broken heart necklace still hanging from his rear view mirror. “Smells like—“ sniffing, you couldn’t put your finger on it until the memory came flooding back. “Pine—“

“Marry me?”

“Did you hit your head?” What the hell—you hit your head didn't you?”

“I’m serious. Marry me Y/n.”

“Bradley, we’re standing in enemy territory, I don’t know how to get us out of here and you already know whatever we are just isn’t—“

“Don’t think, just do.”

“Okay okay—I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll marry you.”

The smell of pine brought the missing pieces of the puzzle back as Rooster climbed into the driver's seat, fixing his seatbelt.

“Oh my god—“

“What? You good?”

“You’d asked me to marry you?” It came out softer than you thought it would have as you turned to look at Rooster confused. “You asked me to marry you after I found you in the snow—“

“Y/n, listen to me—“ Rooster could physically see the panic rising as your eyes widened in disbelief.

“And all this time you never thought to mention it!?” He’d admit it may have been the wrong thing to do. A judgement call he’d blundered. Rooster knew bits and pieces had started to come back. Not only would you tell him when something would be triggered, but he’d help to curve the nightmares that plagued you.

“Chaos—“ You didn’t want to listen, opening the door of Roosters bronco, stepping out as fast as you could without your cane as you hobbled your way back inside. Rooster hot on your tail. “Wait a second will you.”

“For what exactly! What am I waiting for? Huh? Is all this just some elaborate scheme of yours? I saved your life so I’ll scratch your back huh! Is that it!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t bother to jog my fucking memory! You told me everything else except the part where you literally asked me to marry you!!”

“I can explain why if you would just let me—“ Trying his best to come closer to you but every step Rooster took you’d take one step back. Holding your hand out as if to protect yourself.

“You’re just waiting for the right time to leave again aren’t you, that’s why you didn’t say anything because you took it back, right?” Within an instant your inherent anger turned to sadness at the thought of being left alone again. “Right, Bradshaw? Because who was I to think that you’d stick around—“

“No—“ Rooster had been in this position before where he’d been too much of a coward to speak. He wouldn’t let that happen again. And he wasn’t about to take it so personally this time when you were so quick to accuse him of leaving. Because he had done that, a million times over. “No, I'm not waiting for some miracle moment to come to leave you.”

“Bradley I—“ Finally getting close enough to pull you closer by your hips, the back of the legs against the couch.

“Hey, shut up.” Bradley pulled you down onto his lap as he sat on the couch. “I’m gonna tell you the truth and you're gonna listen and then we’re gonna go get these bagels before I starve to death alright?”

“Okay—“ Bradley was quick to wipe the tears away that fell from your cheeks as you straddled His waist. His hands cupping your cheeks as your forehand rest against his.

“The only reason, and I mean the only reason why I didn’t tell you I’d asked you to marry me was because I wanted to give you a chance to become yourself again before literally becoming someone else entirely.” It was the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Your heart grew so big as Bradley spoke. “I’ll marry you tomorrow if you’d have me Y/n but I wasn’t gonna do that to you when you’d just been on death's door. I mean I watched you learn to walk again, I just wanted you to find your way back without thinking about me, thinking about a wedding and all the really stupid and stressful things that come along with that.”

“So, where do we go from here? I mean--”

“I have absolutely no intention to ever leave you again, you're it for me—I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince you of that if I have to.” On that note Rooster was as gentle as he could have been as he helped you off of him, jumping up as he ran down the hall, the small velvet ring box hidden at the back of his sock drawer. Jogging down and hall back to you before he got down on his knees before you.

“Oh Bradley—“ You sobbed. Covering your mouth as you laughed together. “Now!?”

“Waited my entire life to get this right, so—Y/n Chaos Kazansky, will you marry me?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

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