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lovelookspretty · 14 days ago

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hate to be lame

rafe cameron x reader

— in which y/n, caught in a situationship with rafe, struggles to admit she might love him, constantly holding back her feelings while fearing that confessing could make things more complicated.

inspired by: “hate to be lame” (major) & “ceilings” (minor) by lizzy mcalpine

warnings: super long omfg, me treating this like a music video again LMAO, situationships, swearing, mention of drug use, no hard concepts just rafe who can’t commit to you (yet)

authors note: this has been in the works for a good few weeks lowkey. i literally studied lizzy mcalpine mvs top to BOTTOM to rly portray this mini story as best as i can. hope u guys enjoy!!

i tried to add as much as i could for ppl to notice (hopefully), but ESPECIALLY like parallels of the beginning n the end of the oneshot with the opening of the door and saying “hey”!! i wanted this to be little short film core

your room is cold, and you feel your fingers tingling as you pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. the clock ticks softly, but each minute feels slower than the last.

you aren’t sure why, but today you’re more anxious than usual, counting down the seconds until rafe shows up. it��s not like you have any real plans, just the usual aimless drive or hanging out.

but the thought of seeing him again—his smile, the way he looks at you, even when he’s not saying anything—makes waiting almost unbearable.

you’ve been more than friends but less than boyfriend and girlfriend for the past five months now. you know it’s wrong, but you know you’ll do the same thing you’ll be doing until you reach six months: push it aside and just enjoy the moment.

you can’t tell if rafe is only there for the pleasure, but if that’s the case then you wouldn’t be hearing about his dreams or the way he struggles with trust. and you’re foolish enough to believe that maybe he’s just scared, and that’s why he can’t commit.

right on time, his texts come in one after the other.

‘ hey ’

‘ otw ’

‘ 5 minutes ’

a faint smile tugs at your lips as you send him a quick ‘okay,’ watching the message sit there, unread. but when the notification changes to ‘read’ and there’s no reply, you drop your phone on your bed and get up.

just as you’re finishing, the faint sound of a knock echoes through the house, and you know that it’s him. you head downstairs quickly, and when you finally reach the front door, your hand hesitates on the handle, but you push them down and swing it open, revealing him standing there. his gaze flickers over you, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“hey,” he says.

and there’s that smile again, “hey.”

rafe’s ring-clad hand grips the steering wheel tightly, veins visible beneath his skin as his knuckles flex. his other arm is draped out the open window, resting easily on the door. you glance over at him, watching the way he seems so effortless behind the wheel, like he was born to be in control, and the engine hums beneath you.

you can’t help but steal glances at him, the way his jaw sets when he focuses, the flicker of light as it catches on his ring every time he turns the wheel. you wonder if he knows how these small details, the smallest shifts in his posture, have started to consume your thoughts.

you know what this is supposed to be—casual, undefined—but sitting here, so close to him, makes it harder to convince yourself that it’s just that. just casual.

and sometimes it makes you wonder—does he feel it too? does he fight the same pull you do?

you and rafe end up at a two-story building, bright and welcoming downstairs. it’s one of those places you’d mentioned a few times, new on the island, somewhere you’d been dying to try.

upstairs, you grab a table in the open air, no roof above, just the sky. pillars hold up a net laced with flowers and plants, the same ones woven into the building’s logo on the far wall. a bar counter curves along that wall, half-circling it. it’s gorgeous.

you’re laughing, enjoying lunch with him. he looks beautiful, just by being there, the way he always has. doesn’t matter what you are—friends, strangers, stuck in this limbo of a situationship—you’ve always felt this way about him.

rafe leans forward, arms crossed on the table, telling you a story that keeps you laughing, each detail funnier than the last.

eventually, the day drifts into the afternoon, and you find yourselves in town, just hanging out. you drag him into a bookstore, then a music store, even a museum, wandering from place to place. hours later, when you’re hungry again, you make a quick stop a small convenience store.

you’re tucking your phone into your purse when you glance outside, noticing the sky’s turned dark, and more importantly, it’s raining.

“alright, catch you later, simon. thanks!” rafe says, grabbing the snacks off the counter. he raises his free hand in a quick wave as he turns, glancing down at you with a smirk while you follow him out.

rafe hands you your snacks, and you take them with a small smile, watching him closely to see his reaction when he realizes it started raining while you were inside. his brows raise as he looks outside, then down at you again. both of you are thinking the same thing—you parked a block away, and now you’ll have to rush to the car without getting soaked.

you pop a piece of candy in your mouth, staring at the rain across the street, when rafe reaches out. “c’mon,” he murmurs, and you take it without hesitation.

the two of you make a break for it, trying to walk as fast as possible without slipping or getting in the way of traffic. the rain pelts down around you, but you’re laughing, and rafe’s grinning as you both duck under the first marquee for cover.

you both continue walking, the car finally coming into view just up ahead. he has to jog around to get to the driver's side. as he moves, you step out from under the last marquee and into the rain, letting it soak through your clothes and into your skin. you tilt your head up, eyes clamped shut, nose scrunched, savoring the moment, even if it’s just a few seconds of quiet, cold rain.

“get in the car,” rafe calls out, his voice cutting through the sound, and you glance over at him, already opening the door.

you shoot him a look, digging into your bag of candy, before tossing a piece at him like he’s ruined the moment. it bounces off his shoulder and he slides into the car without another word, but you can tell he’s amused. with a sigh, you climb into the passenger seat, still dripping wet.

before you know it, the car slows, the tires crunching against the gravel as rafe pulls up to his house. it’s massive, even more so than you remember. cold and impressive, it stands there like a fortress—his world.

for a second, you’re lost in thought. rafe pulls into the garage, parking to avoid the rain still pouring outside. he gets out, crumpling the empty chip bag in his hand, twisting off the lid to his drink with the other to take a few gulps before shutting the car door.

you linger inside a bit longer, popping another candy into your mouth as your eyes wander around the camerons’ garage—messy, yet somehow still clean and wide open.

rafe rounds the front of the car, heading for the door that leads into the house. without a word, he slips inside, leaving you behind in the garage. he does leave his keys on the table beside the door, trusting you to lock the car for him since you’re still in there.

you sit there a moment, your head tilting as you look over at the driver’s seat, replaying the small moments in your mind—running across the street in the rain, how he’s paid for you, or the simple ‘hey�� when he picked you up earlier.

a small, soft smile touches your lips before you finally get out of the car. you crush the candy wrapper in your fist, grab the keys to lock the car, and slip inside the house, the garage door clicking shut behind you.

after hours of being at the cameron’s, only the soft patter of raindrops now begins tapping against the glass, just as you settle into the familiar bay window. you tuck your legs beneath you, leaning your head against the window frame as you stare out into the backyard.

you’ve sat here so many times before—usually with sarah, the two of you giggling about nothing in particular, watching the sky and talking about anything. but tonight, it’s just you and rafe.

the house feels quieter without her, without anyone really, except for the occasional murmur of rafe’s voice as he takes his phone call from the other room. he was quick to excuse himself when the phone rang, retreating upstairs where you couldn't overhear. not that you’d pry, but it’s not like you don’t know about rafe’s involvement with deals in the outerbanks, drugs, cash, or both. you turn a blind eye.

he walks back into the room eventually, his footsteps quiet but still pulling your focus from the window. you feel him glance at you, almost like he's about to say something, but he hesitates when he notices the way you’re sitting there, staring out at the rain.

he knows you too well—years of history have given him that advantage, not just the past few months of this undefined mess you're both tangled in. he’s seen you like this before, especially today, always itching to be outside when the rain falls, drawn to it in a way he’s never really understood.

without a word, he walks over to the door leading to the backyard. the soft creak of the door handle catches your attention, pulling you from your thoughts. you watch as he stands there for a moment, his hand resting on the doorframe, looking at you.

no words pass between you, but the way he gestures outside, a playful tilt of his head, says everything. it’s almost like a silent ‘after you’ as if he’s jokingly daring you to go out into the rain.

a smile breaks across your face, and before you know it, you’re up. you brush past him, feeling his presence right behind you as you step outside. the cool rain meets your skin, soaking into your clothes almost instantly, but you don’t care. rafe is close, following you out into the yard, his chuckle barely audible over the sound of the rain as it picks up.

the two of you don’t need to say anything. you just move, running across the wet grass, spinning around to feel the individual drops as they fall on your face. you pause every now and then, standing in place, arms spread out wide to feel the rain cover you like a blanket. but the peace never lasts long before rafe is at your side again, tackling you to the ground with a sudden burst of energy. you both fall, rolling across the grass in a fit of laughter, his weight pressing into you briefly before you push him off with a shove.

you end up on your backs, lying there side by side in the rain. your breath comes in short bursts from all the laughing, and there’s a calmness that settles over the two of you. you turn your head to look at him, and there’s something in the way he looks back at you, rain dripping down his face. it’s just you and him, the world around you disappearing into the sound of the rain, the hum of your heartbeat in your ears.

in that moment, you feel something deeper. something that goes beyond the undefined territory you’ve been navigating for months. there’s a connection—stronger than before, pulling you in, making you wonder how you ever let yourself fall this far. you feel it with every glance, every brush of his hand against yours as you lay there.

and then, almost without warning, it’s over. you’re in the car again, the engine quietly rumbling as rafe drives you home. the rain hasn’t let up, the windshield wipers swishing back and forth, and the streetlights blur past as you sit in silence.

you sit in the passengers seat, wrapped in rafe’s oversized hoodie, the warmth of it settling against your skin, but the comfort feels fleeting. your clothes had been drenched from the rain, and now, you’re dressed in his.

you don’t want it to end. when you were out there with him, laughing in the rain, time seemed to stretch. it was simple, effortless—like the world stopped just for you. you find yourself wishing it could stay that way, even for just a little longer.

but now, here you are, in his car, the night creeping closer to its end as he drives you home. you rest your head against the seat, staring out at the blurry glow of the streetlights through the rain-streaked windows. in your mind, the memories play on repeat, each one a familiar echo of nights like this.

there’s a pattern—you recognize it now. the closeness, the laughter, the silence when neither of you acknowledges what this really is. a situationship, something more than friendship but never quite a relationship. yet, despite it all, you don’t care. being with him in this confusing, undefined space feels better than being without him.

the car slows as he pulls up to your house, and the quiet reality hits. you glance at him, but he doesn’t say anything, just pulls out his phone when he gets a phone call, but he glances at you when you just sit there. it’s enough. you step out into the cool air, the dampness of the rain lingering in the night as you head inside.

the house is quiet, save for the faint clink of dishes in the kitchen. you walk in, and as you make your way to the fridge, your mom looks up from the counter, her eyes catching on your borrowed clothes. “whose clothes are those?” she asks, her voice casual but curious.

you shrug, opening the fridge and grabbing a water bottle. “rafes,” you reply simply, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you don’t stick around for her reaction, turning and heading for the stairs, the sound of your footsteps fading as you make your way up.

as soon as you reach your room, you dive onto your bed and roll onto your back. your phone buzzes in your pocket, pulling your attention. with a sigh, you pull it out and open a group chat with your friends. for a second, your fingers hover over the screen, and then, without thinking too much, you begin typing.

how do you know when ur in

your fingers pause over the last word. the L word. it feels too heavy, too real to even finish typing. your thoughts stumble, second-guessing. do you really want their advice on this? what would they even say? maybe it’s not something your friends can help you with. not this.

with a slight shake of your head, you delete the message, watching the cursor blink on an empty screen before you lock your phone and drop it onto your chest.

just nights later, you get word that some pogues are throwing a party at the boneyard, but it’s not just any—it’s sarah’s friends.

you look over to rafe as he gets out of the car, his eyes scanning the beach. topper and kelce are already talking by the car, but rafe’s focus is sharp, as if nothing really starts until he steps into the mix.

he walks around to your side, opening the door and offering his hand. you take it so he can help you out of the car. his grip is firm, the way he holds you close as you step onto the soft sand beneath your shoes.

his arm is slung across your shoulder, and he gives you a playful shake as he leads the way toward the party.

even though he doesn’t say a word, the pressure of his touch says enough. it’s protective, almost possessive, like he’s staking a claim. you glance at him.

he wants you close, needs you to be within his reach, and you know it’s not just casual. it’s the way he is, the way he’s always been with you—controlling, protective. he walks slightly ahead, his arm guiding you forward as if he’s leading you, ensuring you’re exactly where he wants you to be.

and despite the way your body tenses beneath his touch, despite the chill that runs through you as his fingers press into your back, you let him. you tell yourself it’s just rafe being rafe—always wanting control, always needing to know where you are. it’s intoxicating in a way, the way he holds you there, the way he’s so sure that you belong with him.

your skin prickles, not because you’re afraid, but because there’s a part of you that knows this isn’t normal—this isn’t how it should feel. yet, despite that little voice in the back of your mind, you follow him. you always do.

you make your way into the heart of the party with your friends. the air smells like salt and smoke, laughter and music filling the space between the flickering bonfires. rafe’s hand slips from yours, but he doesn’t stray far, keeping close as he weaves his way through the crowd.

people greet him—some with a nod, some with a smile—but it’s like there’s an invisible line drawn around the two of you, keeping the rest of the world at arm’s length. and you don’t mind. not when it feels this good.

it doesn’t take long before rafe comes back with some drinks, and without missing a beat, he pulls you in closer to him. you laugh, sip your drink, and enjoy the chaos of the night, but there’s a quiet satisfaction that hums underneath it all. it’s the feeling of practically being his—of knowing that he knows it too.

the night spirals into a blur. somewhere between the music and the shots, you’ve lost count of how much you’ve had to drink. the warmth of the alcohol buzzes through your veins, making everything feel softer, the edges of reality blurring. but topper is there to catch you when you start to sway just a little too much.

“you okay?” he asks, his voice warm as a faint smile appears on his face.

“yeah, just a little tipsy,” you giggle, leaning into him, feeling the world tilt slightly.

as the night wears on, you find yourself laughing at everything, dancing wildly under the stars, the sound of waves crashing nearby blending with the music. but by the end of the night, it’s clear you’re done. you’re not sure if it’s the drinks or the way rafe is nowhere to be seen half of the time.

“this party is lame,” rafe comments as he finds you, topper, and kelce by a bonfire. he’s holding one of the red solo cups but he’s uninterested.

kelce shrugs, “to you, maybe. ‘cause there’s no snow.”

rafe weaves his way through the boys to reach you. “you’re staying with me tonight,” he says, and you don’t argue. you just nod, letting him guide you to the car, his hand gripping yours like an anchor.

once you reach his car, he opens the door for you, his hand lingering on your waist as you slide into the passenger seat. “you really had a good time, huh?” he teases, starting the engine.

“best night ever,” you reply, a goofy grin spreading across your face. you look over at him, feeling a warmth blooming in your chest, the alcohol making everything feel more intense. you just wish you saw more of him that night.

when you arrive at his house, he helps you out of the car. you stumble slightly but he catches you. “easy, easy,” he mutters, leading you inside.

even when his words are dry, and his touch is barely there, you cling to moments like this, convincing yourself it means something.

still, being this close feels good. it always does. you want to tell him—everything. to spill out the truth that’s been gnawing at you for weeks, months. but you know better. don’t ruin the moment, you think, your teeth worrying your bottom lip. it’s too good to ruin. too fragile to risk.

you want to tell him everything, to let it all out. but you can’t. not when he’s like this, not when he looks at you like nothing’s changed.

and now, you’re lying in his bed, the room spinning just a little. the pillows are soft beneath your head, and rafe is standing at the edge of the bed, watching you. his expression is unreadable, but there’s a slight furrow in his brow, like he’s trying to figure something out.

“just get some rest. you’ll feel better in the morning,” he says.

he’s standing over you, and for a moment, your thoughts are louder than the room. he looks at you like he always does—unreadable. it feels like the words are stuck, heavy and burning at the back of your throat. maybe he already knows. he has to. with how often you’re by his side, how you’ve never left, even when he’s cold and distant. it’s so obvious, isn’t it?

“okay. thank you for taking care of me,” you murmur, your words slurring slightly, the alcohol clouding your mind. you look at him, trying to read his expression, wanting to see something—anything—that suggests he cares.

you bite your tongue, trying to keep it all inside, but then the words start slipping, slow at first, like they have a mind of their own. “i love—”

you catch yourself, the words teetering on the edge of your lips. your heart races as you realize what you almost let slip, a rush of fear flooding through you. what are you doing? your heart is pounding and you feel like within a second, you’re able to turn completely sober.

silence. it’s so loud it’s almost suffocating. you force yourself to look up, desperately searching his face for a reaction, anything. but there’s nothing. his expression doesn’t change, not even a flicker of surprise or discomfort. just that same calm, indifferent look he always has.

it’s like he didn’t even register it—or something worse.

“go to sleep,” he says, his voice flat. he takes a step back, glancing towards the door, like he’s already moving on. “i’ll be back.”

all you can do is nod, your heart still racing from the near-slip. “okay,” you whisper, and you pull the blanket tighter around you.

you can’t breathe. you can’t move. your heart is still racing as you watch him leave, the door closing softly behind him. you sink back into the bed, pulling the covers over yourself, but the warmth is gone.

your head spins with everything unsaid, and you can’t shake the feeling that it’s too late.

he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care the way you do. the words hang in the air, heavy and unspoken. a chill runs down your spine as you replay the moment in your head, the way he dismissed your feelings without even a second glance.

he doesn’t care that you almost admitted you loved him? that, or . . . yeah, rafe already knows. and in some way, that scares you more than anything.

you can remember the first time you met rafe—back when you were kids, in middle school. you’d known of the cameron family, but you’d never been around enough to meet rafe specifically. for so long, it felt like you were in two different worlds. but in middle school, rafe finally noticed you, only to say something rude.

it stung, but you were kids. that was the odd beginning of your friendship. it was rough at first, barely getting along most of the time as barely acquaintances. still, you liked being friends with sarah, even if she was a few years younger. you two weren’t super close because of the age gap, but once you hit high school, you didn’t mind looking out for her when she needed it.

only then did rafe approach you again since middle school. he told you to stay away from his sister, as if you were some kind of bad influence. you weren’t, and you told him as much, calling him stupid. that was the end of it—for that day, at least.

you two shared more classes that junior year than you would’ve liked, which meant seeing him nearly every day. you never went out of your way to be rude unless he started it, and he always did. if he saw you, he usually took the chance to say or do something to get under your skin. still, it wasn’t like he was out to get you—it was more like an unspoken routine.

things only lightened up in senior year. you ended up helping him at some volunteer event he didn’t want to go to, and neither did you. you’d brought a flask, figuring it would take the edge off the boredom, and it helped break the ice between you two.

by the next week, you crossed paths again. you drove yourself to and from school, but your tire went flat one day, probably from driving over something sharp in the parking lot while pulling in during the morning.

you didn’t know how to change it, and as luck would have it, rafe spotted you on his way to his friend’s car. he stopped and helped you out. ever since that day, it felt like something shifted, and the foundation for your friendship started to take root.

“y/n,” rafe calls, snapping you out of your thoughts. you immediately turn to your window, tearing off your blankets as you make your way over to peek between the blinds.

there he is, leaning casually against the door of his truck, chewing some gum and fiddling with the wrapper. without wasting time, you rush to pull on your shoes and grab your bag, ready to head out.

now, you’re leaning against the rail of kelce’s boat, staring into your cup as the wind whips around you. it’s the usual sandbar party, and you’re already en route, cruising across the water.

the sun is bright, forcing you to squint when you glance up, scanning the boat for familiar faces. kooks everywhere—laughing, drinking, pre-gaming before the afternoon on the beach. in one hand, you clutch your drink and a pair of sunglasses, in the other, your phone.

you absentmindedly toss your hair off your shoulder, then peer over the rail to watch the water rush past beneath you. two people approach—a boy and a girl, probably friends of kelce’s since everyone got an invite to ride with him.

they linger nearby, the girl shifting nervously until she finally speaks up, “i like your top.” her words come out fast, almost as if she’s afraid you won’t hear her.

you glance her way, taking her in with a brief nod. “i like your . . . shoes,” you reply, offering a small smile. the girl’s wearing sneakers—not exactly the best choice for a day at the beach, but you’re just poking fun.

she seems to miss the teasing tone, accepting the compliment with a hesitant, “thanks.”

the boy steps forward now, smoothly joining the conversation. “how long you been in the outer banks?” he asks, like it’s no big deal, just another casual question.

you tilt your head slightly, thinking for a moment. “most of my life. you and your girl new to the island?”

the boy looks quickly at the girl, and she immediately looks away. “no, we’re just friends,” he says, glancing back at you while you watch them both closely. there’s something unspoken between them, though—especially when the girl throws him a quick, hurt look. clearly, there’s more to their story.

you extend your hand, breaking the tension. “y/n.”

“jasper,” he says, shaking your hand, and for a moment, his gaze locks with yours. but your attention quickly shifts to the girl beside him. you hold out your hand, waiting for her introduction, and after a brief pause, she reaches out.

“i’m isabelle,” she mumbles softly, her voice almost getting lost in the wind.

you give her a genuine smile. the teasing earlier probably didn’t help, but this feels like a better moment. you shake her hand, but something catches your eye. the light glints off the bracelet on her wrist, a delicate piece of jewelry that stands out against her skin. instinctively, you pause, twisting her hand gently to get a better look.

“that’s really pretty,” you say, your voice filled with genuine admiration. isabelle looks a little flustered, glancing down at the bracelet herself before offering an awkward smile.

“my mom gave it to me recently,” she explains, her voice soft, almost like she’s revealing something personal.

you raise your eyebrows, nodding like you figured. “she has good taste,” you say, pulling your hand away and giving her a playful grin. “i wish i had one like that.”

isabelle smiles, this time with a bit more warmth, as you take a sip of your drink. beside you, jasper checks his beer can, frowning slightly.

“i’m out,” he says, looking toward where kelce and rafe are talking. “kelce said he had some in the cooler. be right back.”

you watch him go, your eyes drifting toward rafe as he talks with kelce. for a second, you catch him looking at you, the briefest flicker of attention before he refocuses on jasper approaching. jasper’s probably asking where the cooler is.

you glance over at isabelle, who’s now standing beside you, her posture awkward, her drink clutched tightly in her hand.

you tilt your head at her, curiosity getting the better of you. “is he sure that you and him are just friends?”

isabelle looks startled, her eyes widening as she whips back around to face you, blinking rapidly like she’s been caught off guard. she looks away, the blush creeping into her cheeks as she stares down at her drink.

“he’s sure,” she mumbles, her voice small. “i’m not.”

you wince. the way she said it, the quiet frustration—it all sounds way too familiar. but you wave the thought off. it’s not about you right now.

isabelle looks at you, her lips twitching upward in a shy smile. “i’ve liked him since we were kids,” she admits, the words spilling out now like she’s been holding onto them for too long. “we’re only here for the summer, and our parents are best friends with kelce’s, so . . . i don’t know. it’s just complicated. i don’t think he can even read any of the hints i throw at him.”

you place a delicate hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. “well, if he doesn’t see that, then he’s stupid,” you say with a small smile, your tone light but firm. “seriously, he’s an idiot if he can’t tell.”

you give her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “he’ll either figure it out, or you’ll find someone who’s not blind,” you say, shrugging. “either way, you’ve got it.”

isabelle shakes her head and looks down at her drink, swirling it gently, the ice clinking softly against the plastic cup. she’s quiet for a second, like she’s not sure if she should even bother saying the rest. but then she lets out a sigh, giving in.

“you know,” she starts, voice low but steady, “sometimes i wonder if he even notices. like, i’ve tried. i really have. but sometimes i feel like he’s just choosing not to see it. maybe it’s easier for him that way, not having to deal with what comes next. and . . . what if i’m wasting all this time waiting for something that’s never going to happen? that scares me the most. i don’t want to look back and feel stupid for hoping.”

isabelle glances up, her brows furrowed, a soft laugh escaping her that sounds more like a breath of frustration. “but what really gets me is the fear of losing him completely. like, what if this—this friendship, or whatever it is—is all we’re meant to be? if i tell him, and he doesn’t feel the same . . . i ruin everything. so maybe i should just keep this, even if it’s not everything i want, than lose him altogether.”

you listen in silence, your chest tightening as isabelle’s words sink in. you nod slightly, acknowledging how close to home they hit. it’s like she’s pulled the thoughts straight from your own mind and laid them out between you.

all those late nights you spent wondering the same thing about rafe, the moments you brushed aside the hints you were giving him, thinking it was easier for him not to notice. you regret the other night at the party. that’s probably the furthest you’ve gotten to practically telling him how you feel.

because dealing with what comes after—if there is even any after—would change everything. maybe you’re scared of that too. of ruining whatever it is you already have, even if it’s not enough anymore.

isabelle takes an innocent sip of her drink, like she hadn’t just spilled her deepest fears. she glances around, shrugging softly. “anyway, that’s how my love life is going.” she laughs, but it’s hollow, like she’s trying to play it off as nothing, like it doesn’t really matter.

you don’t respond right away. instead, you find yourself staring at her, watching as she shifts uncomfortably, unsure of what to do with the vulnerability she just shared. your gaze drifts, following the trail of sunlight dancing over the water as the boat cuts through it.

isabelle’s words replay in your mind, over and over, threading together with every uncertain feeling you’ve been holding onto about rafe. you’ve been walking this fine line with him for what feels like forever, stuck between wanting more and being afraid of losing what you already have. and now, you’re not sure which way you’re leaning anymore.

you pause for a moment, thinking. the words hang on your tongue, but you’re not sure if you should ask. finally, you look at isabelle, your voice careful, like you’re testing the waters. “so you’re just never gonna tell him?” you ask, the question feeling like it’s aimed at both of you.

isabelle shakes her head quickly, like she didn’t mean for it to sound that definite. “no, not never,” she says, shrugging. “this isn’t something i’d take to my grave or anything. maybe when we’re older, when things aren’t so clustered for us right now. i think if we were around each other more often, maybe then i’d say something, but that’s not something i can risk under our circumstances right now.”

you just nod, absorbing her words. there it is—that’s what sets you and isabelle apart.

you get it, the fear of telling someone how you feel, whether it’s like or love, especially when the timing is off or the distance makes it easier to hide. but you and rafe? there’s no distance, no gap keeping you apart. you’ve been inseparable for years, always around each other, no excuses. and yet, here you are.

you blink a few times, but you don’t say anything, the weight of it settling between you and isabelle like a silent understanding. you both turn your attention to the horizon as the boat nears the shore of an island not far from figure eight.

you lean into rafe’s side, his arm draped casually across your shoulder, pulling you in closer, while he talks to the group—kelce, topper, isabelle, jasper—all standing around in a loose circle.

laughter flows freely, and the air smells like sunscreen and the salt of the ocean. people all around have set up umbrellas, towels, coolers—transforming the stretch of beach into a party that’s as chaotic as it is carefree. music blares from portable speakers, the kind you feel in your chest, vibrating through the sand.

volleyball games erupt further down the beach, and the sound of drunken laughter and splashing water fills the air as people float lazily on oversized inflatables.

someone cheers as a girl stumbles down to the water, pulling up her shirt in a flash of skin before diving in, the moment met with more hollering and clapping. it's all easy, light—everyone’s just letting loose, and you’re swept up in it.

you find yourself spending most of the afternoon alongside isabelle, both of you lounging in the sun, sipping drinks and sharing amused glances as the day carries on. there’s this unspoken ease between you now, something that started back on the boat. you talk without pressure, just floating through the day’s moments together.

but there are moments with rafe too. he finds you in the crowd, his hand slipping into yours as he tugs you away, guiding you through the chaos. he hugs you close, his breath warm against your ear as he leans in to say something you can’t quite hear over the noise, but it doesn’t matter. wherever he goes, you follow, and the two of you string each other along from one spot to the next, like you’re tethered together.

and then there’s that kiss. it happens just before you leave the sandbar, when the sun has started to dip lower in the sky. it’s abrupt, initiated by rafe, but it feels like something he needed to do, like he couldn’t let the day end without it.

his lips are warm, lingering on yours longer than usual, and everything else falls away. it’s like you’re the only two people left on the beach, the distant chatter and music fading into the background.

when he pulls back, it’s only for a second before he leans in again, his hands tightening on your waist, not wanting to let you go. you stare up at him after, your heart thudding in your chest, adoration in your eyes as you hold his gaze.

but now you’re home, and the contrast is stark. the dim lighting making the space feel colder, emptier. the energy of the sandbar is gone, replaced by an unsettling quiet. you sit on your couch, your leg bounces up and down, restless, as you stare blankly ahead.

the silence of your empty house is deafening. the faint ringing in your ears from the silence draws you into your thoughts—back to yesterday, back to the way rafe held you close, the way his presence felt like an anchor.

you felt safe, maybe even whole, when you were with him. but now, sitting here alone, the difference is almost suffocating. it’s strange how quickly it can shift—one day surrounded by people, warmth, noise, and the next, alone with only your thoughts, replaying every detail, every touch, every feeling.

the way things are now, it’s safe. there’s no risk, no line to cross that you can’t uncross. but if you were to tell him, to lay it all out there, could you handle the fallout?

because what if he doesn’t feel the same?

but then he kissed you. like he did yesterday, so suddenly, so effortlessly, pulling you into him like it’s second nature. it’s like he knew exactly when to pull you back in, just when you were starting to think too much. and just like that, all those questions you’ve been holding onto, the ones that sit heavy on your chest every time you’re near him, dissolve. because when he kisses you like that, it’s easy to forget everything else.

they vanish, swallowed by the feeling of him, so close, making you feel like maybe you don’t need to figure it all out right now.

but even then, just for a second, it’s on the tip of your tongue. you almost say it, almost let it slip, but you stop yourself. you always do.

i love you.

you convince yourself it’s not the right time, not the right moment, or maybe it’s not something you should say at all. and just when you’re about to pull away, to push the thought down like you always do, he kissed you again.

and just like that, you’re right back where you started. questioning, doubting, but never fully letting go. the feelings circling around inside you, waiting for the next time you’re close enough for them to surface again.

the next few days blur together, each one melting into the next. it feels as though you’re standing still, trapped in your bubble of emotions while everyone else rushes past you, moving faster and faster.

your best friend’s voice cuts through the fog of your thoughts, calling your name with a playful urgency, like she’s been doing for the past few moments. you blink, looking away from the raindrops on the window and finally focusing on her, the light in her eyes breaking through your haze.

“what?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, still slightly disoriented.

she laughs, a warm sound that pulls you back into the moment. as she continues talking, you lean into your pillow, letting the comfort envelop you.

the conversation drifts toward summer plans—what they have been up to, the adventures they’ve had. your friend shares her own stories of beach trips and spontaneous late-night drives.

“we should definitely go to that new froyo place tomorrow,” she suggests. “i heard they have all these crazy flavors. oh my g— remember last summer when we tried to make our own?”

you smile at the memory, letting it wash over you. just as you’re settling into the rhythm of the conversation, your mom pops her head in, breaking the moment. “dinner’s almost ready,” she calls from the doorway.

“thanks, mom,” you murmur, your voice soft as you turn your head slightly to give her a smile. she nods, and with that, she slips away, leaving the door ajar.

as soon as she’s gone, you lean back down, resting your elbow on your pillow and propping your head on your hand. your gaze drifts to your phone, almost expectantly, fingers itching to scroll through your notifications. you’re not even sure what you’re hoping for, but the silence feels heavy, and a part of you longs for a message.

your friend watches you closely, an amused smile creeping onto her lips. “do you want to text him?” she asks casually, the knowing glimmer in her eyes saying she’s onto you.

“him?” you feign innocence, raising an eyebrow. there really isn’t anyone else in your life who fits the bill like rafe, but you can’t just assume. she, however, sees right through you.

“come on, y/n. you know who i’m talking about.” she gets comfortable on your bed, sinking into the pillows as she watches you, her interest piqued. “what’s the deal with him anyway?”

you hesitate, slow to respond, feeling the weight of the question. you can’t seem to pinpoint how to explain what’s been going on. “things are good,” you say finally, the words feeling vague and hollow even as they leave your lips.

the look on your best friend’s face shifts immediately, arching an eyebrow. “good? really?” she prompts, tilting her head as if trying to pry more out of you.

you roll your eyes, exasperated by her unwavering gaze. “fine, it’s complicated,” you admit, the truth slipping out before you can stop it. you grab your phone, sinking deeper into your pillow, scrolling through your notifications as if the action could distract you from your tangled thoughts about rafe.

or maybe even check if you even have a notification from him.

she watches you scroll through your phone, her eyes flicking to the slight frown on your face. she doesn't speak right away, just sits there, observing. then, she reaches over, placing her hand gently over your phone and setting it back down on the bed.

“nevermind. you know, you’re gonna drive yourself crazy overthinking like this,” she says softly, shifting to face you more. “sometimes you just gotta rip the band-aid off and stop worrying about what might go wrong. otherwise, you’ll be stuck forever.”

you glance at her, unsure if you want to hear it. but she’s already readjusting her position, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she continues. “god knows i would’ve done things differently with cooper, but you know.”

you lean your head back, letting out a dramatic exhale at the mention of his name—cooper. you’ve heard enough stories to last a lifetime. but you pull your head forward again, looking at her as she reaches over once more, this time placing her hand over yours.

“i just think you should really do it,” she says, her tone more serious now.

you sigh, rubbing your eyes with the arm you’ve been propping yourself up on.

“whatever,” you mumble, shaking off the tension. “let’s go eat dinner. i’m starving.”

after dinner, your friend excuses herself to use the bathroom, leaving you and your mom at the table. your mom finishes up her plate before glancing at you, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “was it good?” she asks.

you don’t say anything, just smile softly and nod. she smiles back, the corners of her eyes crinkling with affection as she gets up to collect the dishes from the table, already moving to tidy up and call it a day.

you stand too, silently helping her by stacking the plates and utensils as she handles putting the leftovers in containers. the clink of dishes and quiet movement fill the space.

when you walk over to the sink, you place the plates inside, fingers lingering on the faucet handle. but you stop. turning around, you fiddle with your hands, the words you've been holding onto threatening to spill out.

your voice is quieter than usual when you finally ask, “how do you know if you love someone?”

your mom pauses in her search for containers, her hand resting on the cabinet door as she looks over at you. she sets down the lid she’s holding and turns, studying your face carefully. “what do you mean?” her tone is soft, open, and it catches you off guard.

you bite the inside of your cheek, unsure of how to phrase it without sounding like some naive girl, like a kid who thinks she’s in love. you lean back against the counter, gripping the edges behind you. “i’m in this situation—literally—with this boy, and—”

your mom cuts in, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “is it rafe?”

you freeze for a second, caught off guard, but the way she says it, almost amused and without judgment, relaxes you. of course she knows. it’s not like you two ever really tried to keep anything a secret. the island knew, your friends knew, but hearing your mom say it so casually makes your lips curl into a sheepish smile. “yeah,” you admit quietly.

your mom crosses her arms, leaning against the counter opposite you, still smiling. “what’s going on?”

you exhale softly, unsure where to even begin. “i don’t know,” you start, “we’re close, obviously. and he’s been . . . we’ve been spending so much time together lately, more than usual. but it’s confusing, you know? like, he doesn’t commit, but then there are these moments, like, i feel like there’s more between us. and i don’t want to ruin what we have, but i also don’t know if what we have is enough anymore.”

your mom watches you carefully, absorbing everything you’re saying. her expression softens as she considers her words. “i remember when i was your age,” she begins, her voice taking on a reflective tone. “i was in a similar situation with your father. we weren’t perfect—far from it—but i knew i loved him. i knew it because i was scared of losing him, but more than that, i was willing to fight for him. and i did.”

you blink at her, surprised. she rarely talks about how she and your dad got together, and when she does, it’s usually brief.

“we had our ups and downs,” she continues. “but in the end, it was worth it because i didn’t give up on what i wanted. and that led me here,” she says, her smile widening as she gestures lightly, “to you.”

you look down, her words settling in. “so you’re saying i should, what? take a chance?”

“i’m saying if you think it’s worth it, if you believe in it, then don’t be afraid to fight for it. but you have to be sure, really sure. because if you’re not, it’ll show. and rafe? he’ll see it.”

your mom moves toward you, placing a gentle hand on your arm. “whatever happens, just remember, you deserve to be happy. don’t settle for anything less.”

you’re still absorbing your mom’s words, turning them over in your head, when she leans slightly, nodding toward the back door. “go,” she says, her tone gentle yet resolute.

you blink, caught completely off guard. “wh— now?” your voice comes out confused, almost a laugh. you glance toward the window, where rain streaks down the glass. “mom, it’s pouring.”

she waves a hand, like the rain is the least of your worries. "i know. go put on a jacket. tell rafe how you feel."

your chest tightens, a swell of uncertainty rising up again, but there’s something in the way she looks at you—something that makes your heart stutter. “mom,” you start, your voice uncertain, but she interrupts, her expression soft but determined.

“listen,” she says, stepping closer, her hands gently shooing you toward the door, “it’s when you get to the end of your life that you realize how important the choices you made at the beginning were. you’re young, y/n. you have your whole life ahead of you to figure things out.” she pauses, her eyes meeting yours. “but you don’t want to look back, wondering what would’ve happened if you’d just taken that chance.”

your breath catches in your throat. you can’t deny that a part of you has been afraid—afraid of what admitting your feelings for rafe might do to your friendship, to the years of closeness you’ve built. but there’s something about the way she says it that strikes deep, a kind of clarity you’ve been avoiding.

“and,” she continues, stepping back just slightly, "even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hope, you both know you’ll always work out as friends. you’ve known that for a long time now.” she smiles then, soft but sure. “so go.”

you stand there, rooted in place, feeling the weight of your indecision lift—just a little. your mom knows. she’s always known. and the more you think about it, the more you realize she’s right. the fear, the hesitation—it doesn’t outweigh what you already know about rafe. about how solid you two are, even in uncertainty.

without another thought, you step forward, pulling her into a tight hug. “thank you,” you murmur into her shoulder, voice muffled but heartfelt. you linger for a second longer, breathing in the familiar scent of home, of comfort. “i owe you for this. and for the dishes next time.”

your mom chuckles as she pulls back. “all you owe me,” she says, brushing a strand of hair from your face, “is handling your friend when she gets back from the bathroom and realizes that you’re not here.”

you grin at that, shaking your head slightly as you turn away. then you rush toward the front door, grabbing a jacket from the table, your fingers fumbling for your car keys. the adrenaline starts kicking in, buzzing beneath your skin, and your heart beats faster—not from fear, but from excitement. clarity.

the rain hits your face as soon as you step outside, cool droplets splashing against your skin, soaking through the jacket almost instantly. but you don’t care. not this time.

you hurry toward the car, slipping behind the wheel, and as the engine roars to life, there’s only one thing on your mind. you’re not running away anymore—you’re going straight to him. straight to rafe, to tell him everything.

your mom is still standing in the kitchen, smiling to herself as she wipes down the counter. your friend emerges from the bathroom, stretching dramatically.

“ugh, i have the biggest food baby right now,” she groans, rubbing her stomach with an exaggerated pout. “like, seriously, i think i might be in my third trimester.”

she stops mid-step, suddenly noticing that you're nowhere to be seen. her gaze flickers around the room, confusion settling on her face. “where’s y/n?”

your mom just smiles, glancing up from the counter with a knowing look.

the rain pounds against your windshield and your fingers grip the steering wheel tighter, knuckles white, as the tires cut through puddles, water splashing up on either side of the road.

it’s dark outside, the kind of dark that makes the world feel like it’s closing in, and yet you drive, the rain blurring everything except for the weight of what you’re about to do.

you can hardly believe you're doing this—driving to rafe’s house, of all places, on a night like this. it’s pouring. but the rain, the storm, the darkness—they almost feel fitting. like the weather outside mirrors the chaos that’s been brewing inside you for months.

you think about him. about rafe. about the time you’ve spent together—the laughs, the touches, the kisses, the way he makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world.

you think about the nights he’s held you close, his breath warm against your neck, and the mornings where he pulls away just a little too soon, leaving you wondering if you imagined it all. it’s like being on a tightrope, balancing between something beautiful and something terrifying.

this thing with him, it’s not really a relationship, is it? it’s more like a maze with no exit, a constant loop of confusion and longing, of wanting more but being afraid to ask for it.

you’ve told yourself a thousand times that you’re okay with it—that whatever this is, it’s enough. but it’s not. and deep down, you’ve always known it’s not.

you’ve spent so long trying to figure it out. is this love? do you love him? or is it just the idea of him? the way he makes the world feel quieter when everything else is so loud, so overwhelming. you’ve wondered if maybe you just needed someone, anyone, to make you feel like you weren’t going through life alone. you’ve questioned if it’s love or if it’s desperation.

but then you remember the way his eyes soften when he looks at you—like he’s seeing past every wall you’ve ever put up. you remember the way his touch feels like it’s grounding you, like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. and it hits you, harder than you’ve ever allowed it to before. you do love him.

you’ve probably never loved anyone as much as you love rafe cameron. and it’s terrifying.

because how do you tell him that? how do you tell someone you love them when you’ve spent months pretending you’re fine without a real answer, pretending that this . . . undefined space you’ve both been living in is enough?

your mind is racing, your heart too, as the road blurs in front of you. the rain is relentless, but you barely notice. all you can think about is him. about how you’ve spent so long holding back, holding yourself in this limbo, waiting for something—anything—to change. but nothing will change unless you make it change.

you’ve waited for him to make the first move, to say something, to define what’s between you, but you’re done waiting. you love him, and whether or not he feels the same, you need him to know. you need to say it out loud. maybe for yourself, more than for him. you can’t keep living in this. you deserve more than that.

the rain is pouring harder now, like the sky is trying to drown the world, but it doesn’t matter. nothing matters except for the fact that you’re almost there. almost at his house. almost at the point of no return.

your heart is in your throat when you pull into his driveway. you sit there for a moment, the engine still running, the rain beating down on your car, and you just breathe.

but then you remember his smile. his laugh. the way he makes you feel like you’re floating and falling all at once. and you know you have to do this. you can’t keep living in the in-between.

you throw your jacket over your head as you step out into the rain, the cold water soaking through your shoes, your pants, everything. it’s freezing, but you barely feel it. you walk up to his front door, your steps heavy, heart even heavier. you knock, once, twice, and then wait.

your heart feels like it’s about to explode. everything you’ve wanted to say, everything you’ve felt—it’s all bubbling up inside you, ready to spill out the second the door opens. you’re nervous, terrified, but ready. so, so ready.

the door creaks open, and there he is. rafe.

he looks at you, rain-soaked and trembling, and it’s like something clicks in his eyes. like he knows exactly why you’re here. like he’s been waiting for this moment, too.

you smile, a soft, trembling smile, your heart in your throat. “hey.”

he stands there, staring at you with that familiar look, the one that’s always made you feel like maybe—just maybe—he’s been feeling the same way all along. and then he smiles back, a small, understanding smile that makes your heart skip a beat.

“hey.”

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wttcsms · 6 months ago

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triple trouble, atsumu miya

pairing atsumu miya x f!reader word count 1.6k synopsis atsumu steals every reporters' attention as he introduces the media to his triplets during a post-game interview; or, more accurately, his triplets steal all the attention. like father, like sons. content contains domestic fluff, dad!atsumu, atsumu & reader are married and so in love, babies, mention of pregnancy more in this collection!

The flashes of cameras going off, the constant exclamations of “Miya! Miya!” coming from the crowd of journalists and reporters all vying for his attention, the fact that the foldout chairs they use for all these post-game interviews are harder on your ass than falling on asphalt — all of this is being handled with ease by a smug Atsumu Miya.

Or, normally all of this would be handled with ease by a smug Atsumu Miya.

But right now, the Atsumu Miya struggling to take a seat in the most uncomfortable chair known to man, dyed hair a mess, his usual trademark smirk replaced by furrowed brows and a look of concentration, doesn’t appear to be the godlike adversary on the court. In fact, he looks oddly human.

The cause of what has humbled this cocky athlete and reduced him to mere mortal man are the three chubby toddlers he’s cradling in his arms.

All of them are identical, from their chubby cheeks to their little grubby hands. Heads full of thick, dark brown hair (reminiscent of their father’s natural color) poke out from Atsumu’s hold, and the eighteen-month-olds’ eyes are all full of childlike wonder as they watch the crowd, confused as to who all these people are.

After finally getting settled into his seat, Atsumu addresses the crowd casually, as if he didn’t spend the last two minutes ensuring that his baby boys weren’t going to slip from his arms while he tried to prepare for this interview. Akimitsu is secured in his left arm, Akihiko in the right, leaving poor Akinari to cling onto Atsumu’s neck.

While athletes have been getting more comfortable with bringing their kids up on stage with them, no one has ever seen a professional athlete haul his three babies with him.

A fact that one reporter is more than happy to point out.

“Miya, wife put you on babysitting duty?” A male journalist calls out from the crowd. A few chuckles follow, but Atsumu just smiles at the mention of you.

“Nah. It’s not babysittin’ if they’re your damn kids, right? Besides, she deserves a break.” A few appreciative murmurs flutter through the crowd.

After the initial surprise of seeing identical triplets being carried in the MSBY Black Jackals’ setter’s arms, the reporters are back to business as usual. They’re all professionals — even if hearing Atsumu give them a great quote to use as a hook (“I respect Nakamura as a human bein’ but calling him a setter for a professional league volleyball team is an insult to setters everywhere.”) is followed by him cooing sweet words of affirmation to whichever of his sons happens to be babbling in his ears.

“Nakamura isn’t a very good player, is he, Akihiko?” No one outside of your family and his teammates have ever heard Atsumu sound so affectionate. His words are practically coated in sugar, and it’s hard to remember that he’s insulting another player in the league whenever he’s practically bumping noses with his toddler son when he says it.

Akihiko, most likely due to his father’s influence, lets out a stream of enthusiastic gurgles that Atsumu automatically translates to him being in complete agreement with him.

“Write that down.” He says to the crowd. “Even my baby knows he’s shit at the game.”

There’s a few more minutes of Atsumu answering the usual post-game questions, but halfway through one of his responses, Akinari loses his grip on Atsumu’s neck and is about to tumble to the floor before Atsumu’s reflexes kick in. You’ve made a joke once that you think Atsumu’s reflexes have become heightened after becoming a father; his athletic instincts have merged with the famous “dad reflexes” all fathers seem to be gifted with. (Atsumu tells reporters that this is why he keeps on becoming a better player; people think his family would hold him back, but once again, family is his greatest blessing.)

“Ya gotta hang onto me, buddy.” Atsumu can’t even pretend to be stern when he tells this to Akinari, who only smiles at him and exclaims something unintelligible. He shifts Akinari to his left arm, relaxes back in his seat, and is even excited to answer a question concerning his play style compared to Tobio Kageyama’s, but as he readjusts the two boys in his arms, Atsumu can’t help but startle at the fact that he has three kids. Not just two.

Momentarily panicked, he almost wants to ask why the hell no one told him one of his kids jumped ship but then he feels a tug on the bottom hem of his volleyball shorts.

Peering under the table, Atsumu is greeted with the sight of Akimitsu’s mischievous little face. He’s the oldest of the three and takes after Atsumu the most — meaning, he’s the cutest little nightmare there could ever be.

“Whatcha doin’ under the table, Mitsu?” Atsumu asks, and Akimitsu gives out a happy, gleeful shriek. He’s clapping his grubby hands together and cheering.

“Dada found me!”

“I did find ya, buddy.” Atsumu coos. “Now why don’t you come sit on daddy’s lap?”

After wrangling up all his kids once more, Atsumu sighs and looks up at the timer in front of him.

“I have enough time for one more question.” He tells the crowd.

“Are you excited to get out of here and get back home to the wife?”

“I’m always happy to come home to [Name]. If there’s a professional league for motherhood, she’s going into the hall of fame. I don’t know how she handles these fools by herself all day.”

Akihiko takes a tiny, chubby hand and smacks Atsumu in the face. Repeatedly.

“Home! Home!” His slaps get slightly more aggressive, but Atsumu’s received some serves with his face before, so it doesn’t really phase him. “Home! Mama!”

“Well, you heard the man.” Atsumu actually gives a genuine smile for the cameras. “We gotta head home.”

You’re applying your moisturizer in the bathroom despite the mirror being fogged up from the hot shower. It’s probably why you don’t anticipate strong arms wrapping themselves around your body, and you gasp before your muscle memory recognizes him. Your body easily relaxes against his, and you’re smiling as you ask your husband,

“Had a good day today?”

“We took ‘em in two straight sets. Slaughtered the other team to the point where it wasn’t even fair.” He angles his head just right so he can kiss you on the cheek, but you gently slap him away.

“I’m putting on moisturizer right now.”

“Great. My lips are dry.” He goes in for another kiss, and even though you’re giggling, trying to pull away from him, he still plants a peck on your soft skin. “Should I go for seconds, just for good measure?” He teases.

“Hmm, I guess so.”

“Oh? What’s with the change? Realize how much you can’t live without my touch?” He pulls you in closer to him, your back pressed firmly against his chest. He’s fresh out the shower, stray droplets of water greedily clinging onto his skin.

“Maybe.” You tilt your head back on the front of his shoulder so that you can see him. “You know your interview is trending on Twitter, right?”

“Oh, yeah? Bet Nakamura’s pissed.” Atsumu sounds too happy at the concept.

“No. There’s actually an interesting clip that keeps going around. Someone already used it as an intro for a thirst edit of you.”

You like it when Atsumu is thinking. There’s an adorable crease in between his furrowed brows, and you can practically see him going through the memory files in his brain, trying to figure out what could possibly be worthy of inspiring an edit of him.

“You seriously don’t know?” You’re laughing at him, and it’s the sweetest sound in the world. Atsumu doesn’t take kindly to being the butt of a joke, but from the moment he saw you, he knew he’d do anything to stay by your side, even becoming a fucking court jester if that’s what it took.

You reach for your phone on the counter, taking a few seconds to load up the fan edit you have favorited.

He’s burying his face in your hair, hiding away as he hears the audio of him going now why don’t you come sit on daddy’s lap playing on a loop. He groans when you let it replay, uncharacteristically shy as you keep telling him to watch it.

“The comments are the best part, though, baby!” You haven’t been able to stop giggling at jackingthejackalsoff’s very bold and very true statement of yeah, if i were [name], i’d pop out triplets for him too tf 😭🙏.

As Atsumu’s hands travel to rest against the growing swell of your belly, you tease him. “So, when the twins are born, do you think you’ll have enough space in your arms to haul all five of our kids, or should we finally use that baby chest carrier Shoyo gifted us?”

“I can carry all of ‘em and you onto that stage.” He regrets making this smug remark whenever you slightly drop your teasing tone and use what he dubs The Mom Voice on him.

“Oh? If that’s true, then why did it take you so long to realize Akimitsu crawled out of your arms while you were busy calling your opponents scrubs?”

“Have I ever told you what a wonderful mother you are? And this moisturizer! Wow, I don’t know what you’ve been doing with your skin, baby, but keep it up.” He’s peppering your face with more kisses, hurriedly trying to change the subject, and you gladly let him.

#atsumu miya x you #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x reader #hq x reader #hq headcanons #fluff #one shot #drabble #hq fanfiction #atsumu headcanons #dad!atsumu #imagine #series: sweet everything

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bbbbbbbbatman · 9 months ago

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Clark wakes up one day and his throat hurts and he can't breath through his nose and he's all hot and feverish and he just feels bad. So he shows up at the manor sniffling with watery eyes like "Bruce I think I'm dying :'("

And Bruce is trying to stay calm but internally he's panicking a bit bc it's Superman, Superman doesn't get sick and Clark's not the type to over exaggerate his condition so if he thinks it's bad it must be.

So they go to the watchtower and contact the Lantern Corps and they send over a doctor. Clark is ready for the worst but after a brief examination that doctor's like "oh yeah, it's space flu" really casually

"Space flu?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not the thing humans get but it's pretty similar. You probably got it from that alien invasion last week. It'll suck but just rest and drink lots of fluids and you should be fine in a week."

Clark is embarrassed at his overreaction and wants to go home to mope but Bruce forces him to stay at the manor until he gets better so he can make sure someone is actually taking care of Clark.

#obsessed with clark experiencing normal human things #but having zero baseline for any of it #and way under or overreacting #superman #clark kent #batman #bruce wayne #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine

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luveline · 1 year ago

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how about spencer x badass reader and they are wearing couple or similar clothes intentionally or unintentionally?? I think that would be cutee

tysm for requesting ♡ fem!reader

"Are you kidding me?" Derek asks, sounding like a kid in a candy store, a crisp twenty in his back pocket.

Emily follows his line of sight and feels her cheeks apple unbidden, a delighted smile on her painted lips. "Oh, my god."

"Yeah, Garcia?" Derek asks, phone to his ear, Penelope first on his speed dial. "You need to come and see this. Like, right now. Don't worry, baby, just come and see it for yourself."

"I don't even know what to say." Emily stares at you.

You usually dress in line with the other women in this profession: pants that aren't too tight so you can run in if needed, a simple blouse, and a blazer if you're feeling formal.

Today, you've opted for something softer. It was a slow change, one day you were wearing a cashmere sweater, thin and fitted to your form. Another day, you chose to layer your shirt with a cardigan of a similar colour.

Right now? You're all Spencer. Your slacks remain unchanged but your blouse has been swapped for a shirt with a stiff starched collar and layered under what can only be described as a grandpa sweater. It's not quite ugly, but it's almost identical to Spencer's.

What's more, you've swapped your boots for converse.

Spencer holds the door for you. He's chosen to wear a tie at least, clinging to that last strand of professional business attire. He has two coffees, one in each hand, while you carry a box. He's all elbows as he talks to you, and you, ever his fan, follow every word with a fond smile.

"Hey, are you guys sharing a wardrobe now?" Derek asks, absolutely unwilling to hold back.

Emily piles on, "It's cute! You're totally an old married couple, you look like my grandparents."

"What happened to your boots, lovergirl?" Derek asks, nodding at your cons, arms crossed over the back of his chair casually. "Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the sneakers."

"You guys totally match," Emily coos. "You could be on a Christmas card."

You smile —you smile, Emily might just call the news— and walk past them to your desk. Hotch has moved you away from Spencer knowing you'll encourage his endless chattering, which places you on a different island of desks next to Anderson and Agent Camille.

Spencer put his coffee down on his desk, taking off his messenger bag. "Nice going, guys. She brought you donuts. You know, to apologise for calling you both antagonistic losers yesterday," he says, smiling at the mutual horror that crops up on their faces. "The fancy kind, too. She knew your favourite flavours without asking."

From her desk, Emily can see you've opened the box and offered them to your desk mates, your expression unperturbed. "Just don't touch the chocolate sprinkle ones, they're for Spencer," you say.

No matter what they say, how sorry they sound, you give out the donuts to anyone who'll take one until they're all gone. When Garcia arrives, she finds you sitting in your desk chair with your head leaning against Spencer's stomach, taking alternate bites of the same sprinkle-covered donut like it isn't the most domestic, coupley thing you could be doing.

Unlike Emily and Derek, Penelope genuinely thinks you look cute. "You guys are like Brangelina," she breathes, eyes wide, her smile infectious.

Spencer fails to hide a grin, his hand on your shoulder. You're better at controlling your emotion, sliding a small parcelled package across the desk toward her.

"Thank you, Pen," you say. "I like the shoes. They're comfy. And the sweater was a gift." Spencer nods enthusiastically.

That explains why you'd taken such an offence. Anything to do with Spencer raises your hackles. If you felt someone was making fun of his present to you, you'd defend him with your last dying breath, or, in this instance, punish your coworkers in his honour.

"I'm sorry," Derek apologises again, "I was kidding! What do you want me to do, you want me to wear a sweater vest too? I can do that."

You reach back to touch Spencer's side, levelling Derek with an impartial look. Not mad, not sad. Totally indifferent. "That could be a good start."

Spencer hums. "I think so. You wanna borrow one of mine?"

The barest hint of a smile plays on your lips. "That's generous, Spence. You're a philanthropist."

"I am." He strokes the slope of your sweater-clad shoulder proudly. "You know me, I love sharing my wardrobe."

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader

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ruewrote · 18 days ago

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𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑤.

PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: suggestive, no use of y/n GENRE: best friends to lovers SONG INSPIRATION: DIE FOR ME by chase atlantic WORD COUNT: 1.4k REQUESTED: yes NOTE: got a little carried away . . .

navigation | ask | josh washington masterlist

the cabin was quiet. the flickering flames in the fireplace cast small shadows across the room as the last embers of the night begin to fade into darkness. you were stretched out on your bed, the warmth of the fire still lingering in the air, even as the chill from the mountain outside crept through the windows.

everyone else had long gone to their rooms. the day had been packed with hiking, teasing jokes, and way too much food, now the others were all passed out, getting some much needed rest for whatever was going to come tomorrow. you should have been tired too, but here you were laid in your bed wide awake, staring at the wall beside you.

the soft creak of your door opening broke the stillness. you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“hey,” josh’s familiar voice whispered from behind you. he was always the last one up too, unable to sleep when it got too quiet.

“hey,” you answered, glancing over your shoulder to see him standing in the doorway, his hair disheveled, looking sleepy and tousled. he had that half grin on his face that made you feel warm inside.

“can’t sleep again?” you teased, already knowing the answer.

josh shrugged, padding barefoot across the hardwood floor, making his way to you. “nah, i tried. it’s freezing in my room, and, y’know, it’s weird without you there.”

this had been a thing between the two of you for as long as you could remember. whenever you were on trips with the group, josh would find his way to your room after everyone else had gone to bed.

it started as something simple as after late night movie marathons or study sessions that turned into sleepovers, but over the years. it just became your thing. sleeping alone felt strange now, especially for josh. he always needed you close.

“come on then,” you mumbled, lifting the corner of the blanket without a second thought. there was no need for words. he was already climbing under the covers with you, fitting his body against yours.

he slipped his arms around you, pulling you back against his chest, the warmth of his body immediately chasing away the chill from the mountain air. his breath was soft against your neck, and you felt him relax instantly, his head resting on the pillow just behind yours.

this was normal. it had always been normal. the two of you had shared beds, couches, even floors when crashing at friends’ places after parties. josh had always been touchy, needing to feel you, as if that contact helped him settle. you never questioned it. after all, you felt the same.

his presence was grounding, the one constant you needed in your life.

his hand found its way to your waist, his fingers casually slipping under the hem of your shirt, resting against your bare skin like it was the most natural thing. it sent a shiver up your spine, but not because you were cold.

you were used to this, he always did it. he always wanted that skin to skin contact, as if the barrier of clothing was too much separation between you. and you let him, because it didn’t feel strange. it just felt like josh.

“you’re warm,” he murmured sleepily, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your lower back. he said it every time, but the way his voice softened whenever he said it always made your heart flutter.

you hummed in response, pressing back into him just slightly, the lines of your bodies fitting perfectly together under the thick blanket. his fingers continued their slow, lazy path across your skin, drawing shapes you couldn’t quite decipher but made you relax into him even more.

the room was quiet except for the faint crackle of the dying fire and the soft sounds of josh’s breathing behind you. this was your rhythm. an intimacy that had never been questioned.

josh had always been more than just your best friend, but you’d never dared to label it as anything else. the touches, the closeness, it was just how the two of you operated. you were comfortable, safe with each other.

but tonight, something felt… different.

maybe it was the calm of the cabin, or the way the mountain’s isolation made everything feel sharper, more intense. or maybe it was just the fact that your heartbeat picked up whenever his fingers slipped a little higher, his hand resting now against your ribs, dangerously close to the swell of your chest.

you wondered if he noticed the way your breathing hitched when he moved, the way your body tensed ever so slightly.

“josh…” you whispered, your voice barely audible in the quiet of the room.

“hmm?” his response was a soft hum, his lips brushing the back of your neck now, almost absentmindedly.

for a second, you considered pulling away, setting up those boundaries that were supposed to exist between best friends. but the truth was, you didn’t want to. you never had.

the truth of it settled deep in your chest, an acknowledgment of something you’d both danced around for years.

instead, you turned your head just enough to see him from the corner of your eye. his face was so close, eyes half lidded in the dim light, his lips parted slightly in that relaxed way that made him look vulnerable.

your heart did that little stutter it always did when he was this close, and suddenly, the unspoken feelings that had always been lurking just beneath the surface felt impossible to ignore.

“josh,” you said again, this time turning fully in his arms to face him.

he blinked, eyes clearer now as he studied your face. his hand didn’t move from where it was resting on your skin, but his expression shifted, like he could feel the shift in the air too. “yeah?”

the weight of the moment hung between you, the closeness suddenly more intense than it had ever been. you opened your mouth to say something. anything, but the words died on your lips as josh’s gaze flickered down to your mouth, then back to your eyes.

you weren’t imagining it. the way his hand moved a little more deliberately now, fingers tracing the curve of your waist, skimming just beneath your shirt. the way his body pressed a little closer to yours, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with your own.

this was no longer just about comfort. something had changed.

“i–” you started to speak, but before you could say anything more, josh’s hand slid a little higher, his thumb brushing the underside of your breast so lightly you almost thought you imagined it. but you didn’t. the look in his eyes, now more awake and intense, confirmed that.

his breath hitched, the same way yours had, and for a moment, the only sound in the room was the shared rhythm of your breathing, matching and uneven at the same time.

“we… we’ve always been like this,” he murmured, his voice rougher now, as if he was trying to remind himself of what this had always been. “right?”

you nodded, not trusting your voice to stay steady. “yeah. always.”

but it wasn’t always like this. not with the way his lips hovered just inches from yours now, the way his hand slipped further under your shirt like he was testing a boundary you weren’t sure existed anymore.

“maybe…” he whispered, his forehead now resting against yours, his voice so soft it was barely more than a breath, “maybe we’ve been fooling ourselves.”

his words hung between you, heavy and raw. and just like that, the unspoken tension between you, years of shared beds, lingering touches, and blurred boundaries, came crashing to the surface.

you didn’t pull away. you couldn’t. because deep down, you’d known it too. this was never just about needing to be close. it had always been more. you just hadn’t wanted to admit it.

“josh,” you breathed, your heart pounding in your chest as his hand slid up to your shoulder, his fingers gently tilting your chin so you were looking directly at him.

and then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, his lips brushed against yours. soft, tentative at first, a question hanging in the space between. when you didn’t pull away, he kissed you again, deeper this time, the heat between you building until the air felt thick with everything you’d kept hidden for so long.

you didn’t know where this was going to lead, but in that moment, with josh’s hands on your skin and his lips on yours, you knew one thing for sure.

there was no going back to the way things were.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

#wish this was better written!!! but im sleepy!!#writeblr #pride #lgbt #but for real please help me make these lesbian wings. gonna get the supplies tomorrow . i have #no sewing machine but know how to hand sew #have never done a good job with tie dye so idk why im just runnin with it #ps im specifically going to boston pride next weekend come hang out with me

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hoshifighting · 18 days ago

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tutor!woozi + spanking

— where woozi gets tired mad tired from your disinterest while he tutors you.

WARNINGS: +18, smut, ass-spanking, fingering, crying, teasing, squirt, nippple pinching, rough sex, mentions of body fluids (cum/squirt), overstimulation, jihoon is mean.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

part 1 / part 2 (coming soon)

“you’re late.” jihoon’s voice is sharp, arms crossed like he’s been rehearsing this whole 'mad professor' act for hours. the second he swings the door open, his expression makes it clear he’s been dying to chew you out. you blink at him, leaning against the doorframe like you couldn’t care less.

“relax, lee,” you grin, walking past him, purposely brushing your shoulder against his arm. “i’m here, aren’t i?”

he rolls his eyes, shutting the door with a click, and you can almost hear him clenching his teeth. he throws himself onto the couch like he’s doing you a favor just by being there. you follow, plopping down next to him way too close for his comfort.

“you waste my fucking time, y’know that?” his voice has that edge of annoyance, the one that kinda makes you wanna push him even more, just to see if he’ll snap. “i could be doing literally anything else right now. anything.” he’s got this glare that’s sharp enough to cut glass, but all you can do is bite your lip and shrug like it doesn’t faze you.

“aw, come on, jihoon, don’t be so dramatic. you love this,” you tease, crossing your legs and tapping the spot next to you nudging him to get closer, but he just ignores. “besides, it’s not like i asked for that much of your time. just a few hours.”

he looks at you for a second, probably debating whether or not to throw you out, before he finally sighs and takes a seat. “you’re always distracted,” he mutters, grabbing the history textbook from the coffee table and flipping it open, not even bothering to look at you as he starts going over the material. “we’ve been over this chapter three times, and you still can’t tell me the difference between the renaissance and the enlightenment. do i look like a clown to you?”

you smirk, leaning back on the couch. “actually, you look like—” you pause, dragging your eyes up and down his figure slowlywatching he stiff when you don't finish the phrase. “—someone who could be a lot more fun if you’d loosen up a little.” you swear you see his eye twitch at that.

“i’m serious,” he snaps, and there it is—that flicker of irritation that you’ve been pushing for. he looks at you, eyes flickering down to the short skirt that rides up your thighs as you shift in your seat. “you can’t focus for shit, and i’m not here to waste my time. either you take this seriously, or you leave.”

“oh, i’m taking it very seriously,” you say, biting your lip again as you lean in, your arm brushing his. you always do this—those 'casual' touches . “it’s just hard to focus when you keep talking so much. i mean, what was it again? ‘the rise of intellectual movements in europe’? yeah, sounds really sexy coming from you.”

he bites the inside of his cheek, clearly trying to keep it together, but you can tell he’s close to breaking, plunging his hairs out of his head or something.

“you think you’re cute, huh?” he says, voice low and strained. “if you knew all this shit, why’d you even ask me to tutor you?”

you grin, crossing your legs a little tighter as you tilt your head. “oh, i knew it already. i just wanted an excuse to get close to you. i mean, come on, jihoon. you really think i’m that dumb?” you laugh, watching as his jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing at you.

“you’ve gotta be kidding me.” he tosses the textbook onto the table, crossing his arms again as he leans back. “so this was all just a game to you?”

“not a game,” you say, shrugging. “more like…an experiment. i saw you present your project last week, and, honestly? you looked sexy as fuck up there. figured i’d see if you’re just as hot when you’re trying to teach.”

jihoon takes a deep breath, his eyes locking with yours, and for a second, you think he might actually kick you out.

you lean closer, pressing your arms together so your cleavage’s practically spilling out, and for a second, you see jihoon’s resolve crack. he doesn’t say it, but you can see it in his eyes—the fuck it that’s so loud in his mind, you’re pretty sure even the aliens up there heard it. without another word, his hand is at the nape of your neck, fingers curling as he pulls you down, flipping you so fast your chest hits the couch. your hips land right on his lap, and you gasp in surprise, not expecting him to actually snap like this. but the look you give him over your shoulder—god, the devilish smile that curls up your lips—he knows you’re getting exactly what you wanted.

“you think this is funny?” he growls, his hand coming down hard on your ass, the sound echoing through the room as you let out a choked moan. your body jolts from the impact, but you don’t even have a second to recover before his palm meets your skin again, harder this time. “huh? think you can play your little games and just walk away?”

he slaps you again, harder, and the sting radiates through your body, your muscles tensing as you arch back into him. “jihoon—”

“don’t ‘jihoon’ me now.” another slap. your skirt rides higher with each hit, and you can feel yourself starting to drip between your legs, coating you, but it’s like he knows exactly what he’s doing. “you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

you open your mouth to protest, but then his hand lands harder than before, the force sending your skirt flying up, and he freezes. for a second, you think maybe you’ve won—until you realize he’s staring at your bare ass, his breath caught in his throat. “you’re not even wearing panties?” he scoffs, his hand gripping your hip, and it’s almost painful how hard he’s holding you. “seriously? this is what you came here for?”

you bite your lip, looking back at him over your shoulder again, and his eyes are burning into you. before you can respond, his hand’s back on you, spreading your legs apart so wide you can feel the cool air hitting your pussy. “you’re unbelievable.” he scoffs.

then, without warning, his hand smacks against your pussy, and the shock makes you yelp, your hands gripping the cushions tight. the wetness on his palm is undeniable, and you swear you see the corner of his mouth twitch up in a smirk. “look at you. already soaked, and i’ve barely touched you.”

you whimper, trying to move, but he keeps your legs spread, his hand coming down again. “you like this, don’t you? acting all tough, like you’re in control, but all it takes is a few slaps, and you’re dripping for me.”

his words are low, almost a growl, as he brings his hand down again, harder this time. your body jerks forward, your fingers digging into the couch, but the sting—too good to ignore. each slap has you biting back a moan, your thighs trembling, but the wetness only gets worse, slicking his hand as he keeps going.

“see?” another hit. you gasp, your chest pressing into the couch as you arch your back more, needing the friction, the release. “so fucking wet. what would people think if they saw you like this? spread out like this—begging for a fucking slap? really?”

his hand comes down once more, but this time, he lingers, fingers brushing against your swollen folds, slick with cum.

jihoon keeps going, each slap making a wet smack as your juices connects with his fingers and palm. every time he brings his hand down on your pussy, another thin line of your slick sticks to him, pulling back with a sound that has your cheeks burning. he’s relentless—alternating between slapping your ass and spreading your swollen lips just to smack your clit directly. it’s brutal, the way he’s working you, and all the while, he doesn’t stop talking.

“look at this mess,” he mutters, his hand squeezing the curve of your ass before landing another sharp slap. your skin’s so red, stinging from the constant impact, but that only makes the wetness between your legs worse, dripping onto his thigh. “you thought you could just tease me and get away with it, huh? acting all cute, playing dumb—but you’re the one who can’t even control yourself now.”

your body jerks with every hit, the sharp sting spreading through your thighs, making you cry out. you can feel how soaked you are, your wetness practically running down the inside of your thighs, and it’s so embarrassing, but the way he’s looking at you, all smug.

"fuck," you whimper, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. you need him—god, you need him so so so so fucking bad, his cock, anything to fill the aching void between your legs. but instead, all you get is another slap, harder this time, making your whole body jolt forward.

“needy little thing,” he growls, spreading your cheeks apart with both hands just to watch as the slick drips from your hole, down to your clit, and onto his thigh. the sight makes him groan low in his throat in approval, and you try to protest, humiliated by how wet you are, but he just laughs. “embarrassed now? after all that shit you’ve been talking?”

his thumb finds your clit, circling it slowly, teasingly, and you squeak in surprise, your hips bucking against his hand. he looks up at you with this exaggeratedly thoughtful expression, like he’s debating something serious. “hmm… so, should i finger you now, or keep spanking this little pussy? decisions, decisions…”

your breath catches in your throat as he dips a finger into your folds, running it along your slick entrance before slipping it inside, and you can’t help the way your walls clench around him. “fuck, jihoon—please,” you gasp, and he scoffs, adding another finger, curling them just right.

“please, what?” he taunts, his fingers working you expertly, slow but deep, making sure you feel every inch. “you’re the one who asked for this. i’m just giving you what you wanted.”

his fingers slide in and out with ease, coated in your slick, the obscene sound of it filling the room as he pumps them faster. your pussy clenches around him, every curl of his fingers hitting the g'spot inside you, and you can’t stop the moans spilling from your lips, hips moving on their own to meet his thrusts.

“feel that?” he murmurs, his thumb circling your clit again as his fingers fuck into you. “so tight, so fucking wet. bet you’ve been dreaming about this, hm? me, fucking you with my fingers, making you beg for more.”

he thrusts his fingers deeper, spreading them inside you, and you cry out, your grip tightening on the couch. “fuck—yes, yes, jihoon—”

he smirks, leaning closer so his breath is hot against your ear. “and what do you want next, huh? my cock? think you can handle that after getting off just from my fingers?”

you don’t even answer, just nod frantically as you feel the pressure building, your walls clenching harder around him. each thrust of his fingers sends sparks shooting up your spine, your wetness dripping down his hand, and you can barely think straight, let alone form words.

“you’re gonna cum?” he growls, fucking you faster with his fingers, his thumb rubbing tight circles on your clit. “gonna cum just from my hand. so pathetic.”

jihoon’s fingers are buried inside you, his long, perfect digits moving inside you non-stop, curling against that spot that makes you whimper like a bitch. you’ve spent too many nights obsessed with those hands—those slender fingers that always seemed to be calling you from the depths of your own fantasies. and now they’re inside you, fucking you, and it’s so much more than you ever imagined.

you’re a mess, your pussy squelching with each thrust. your eyes burn with tears, you can feel your orgasm coming, creeping up from the pit of your stomach, but there’s something else, something more.

“fuck, jihoon,” you sob, your voice shaking as his thumb circles your clit again, driving you higher and higher. but it’s like your body’s betraying you—there’s this pressure, this unfamiliar heat building between your legs, and you don’t know what’s coming, but it’s terrifying in the finest way.

his fingers continue their assault, squelching louder with each thrust, and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, the pressure snaps. a gush of liquid escapes you, soaking his hand, the sound loud in the room as your body convulses, your orgasm crashing over you. you cry out, burying your face into the couch, as you realize what just happened. you fucking squirted on him, on his couch, on his floor.

jihoon doesn’t say anything at first. he just watches, his eyes wide, lips slightly parted in surprise. his fingers don’t stop, though. they keep moving inside you, coaxing out more spurts of liquid until they weak. each spurt feels like it's shaking you to your soul, and you want to hide, want to melt into the couch and disappear from the embarrassment, but he’s not letting you go anywhere.

“are you fucking serious?” he mutters under his breath, but there’s a hint of fun in his voice. his clean hand reaches for your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he yanks you up just enough to see your face. you’re flushed, eyes darting everywhere but at him, your body tremblinge.

“are you embarrassed?” he asks, scoffing as his hand tightens in your hair, forcing you to meet his gaze. “really? after everything, this is what’s got you hiding?”

your breath hitches, but before you can even think to respond, his free hand comes down on your ass, hard. the slap stings, making you jolt, but he doesn’t stop. he lands another, and another, the sound of flesh on flesh mixing with your rough breathing. “answer me.”

“jihoon—” you gasp, but he’s not having it. his hand moves from your ass to your breast, getting under your blouse and bra, pinching your nipple between his fingers, hard enough to make you squeal.

“i said, answer me,” he growls, his fingers twisting the sensitive nub until you’re squirming beneath him. “were you embarrassed? or were you just so fucking turned on by cumming all over my hand like that?”

“i—i wasn’t—fuck, jihoon!” you cry out, the words tumbling out of your mouth without thought as his fingers twist cruelly at your nipple, making it hard to think straight.

“don’t lie to me,” he warns, pulling your nipple harder as his fingers start working you again, faster now, his hand still slick from your release. “you loved it. look at you—fucking soaked. i bet if i pulled out my cock right now, you’d make an even bigger mess, right?”

you can’t deny it. the thought alone makes your thighs clench, your pussy fluttering around his fingers, and he feels it. he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, and you hate that you love it so much. his hand on your breast leaves for a moment, only to slap your ass again, this time harder, making you buck forward with a cry.

“that’s what i thought,” he mutters, yanking your head back by your hair as he shifts behind you. you can feel him now, the thick outline of his cock pressing against your ass. “you wanted this. you’ve been teasing me, fucking with me for weeks, and now look where you are—about to get exactly what you deserve.”

his hand moves between your legs again, this time not to slap but to tease, his fingers sliding through your folds, gathering your slick. he rubs your clit, once, twice, then pulls his fingers away, leaving you throbbing, hurting for more. you whimper in protest, but he just scoffs.

he pulls your legs apart wider, positioning himself behind you. you try to turn, to look at him, but his grip on your hair keeps you in place, your face pressed into the cushions as you feel the blunt head of his cock pressing against your entrance.

he doesn’t ease in slowly. he’s rough, pushing into you with one hard thrust that has you gasping for breath, your pussy stretching around him, and even though you are prepared enough, the burn makes you cry out. he fills you so good your walls clamp down around him, trying to adjust on his thick girth.

“hmm fuck yes,” jihoon groans, his voice weakened as he grips your hips, holding you still. “so fucking tight. you’ve been teasing me all this time, and now you’re taking my cock like a good little slut.”

he starts moving, his thrusts rough and no mercy, each one pushing you harder into the couch. his hands find your ass again, slapping it with each thrust, and the sharp sting only drives you higher, makes you wetter. you can feel the slickness coating his cock, dripping down onto the cushions, and you’re a mess of moans and cries, hardly competent to form words.

“jihoon—oh fuck—” you sob, your hands gripping the couch. each time he thrusts into you, it feels like he’s hitting deeper, the angle perfect, making you drool.

“yeah? you like that?” he growls. “you like me fucking you like this? slapping your pretty little ass while you squirt all over my cock?”

your voice is poorly there, mumbling things that don’t even make sense. “so full… so—jihoon… fuck… it’s—”

you’re trying to say something, but the pleasure is too much, your brain too clouded to form a coherent thought. he laughs as he flips you onto your back with ease. your body’s boneless at this point, sprawled out beneath him, and he takes a second to drink in the sight of you—your fucked-out expression, the way your lips part in a soft smile.

“you still got a smile for me, hm?” he teases, but there’s something fond in his voice, something almost soft. for a second, it feels like he might lean down and kiss you, but instead, his hand wraps around your throat, and he tugs your bottom lip between his teeth—his pretty and pearly white teeth that you loved during his briefs smiles, or when he bit your lip.

you pout, tilting your head slightly, desperate for his lips, but he just grins.

“bad girls don’t get kissed,” he says, he tightens his grip on your throat just enough to make you gasp, your eyes wide as he watches your reaction. “you haven’t earned it.”

before you can protest, he slams into you again, hard, making your body jerk against the couch. each thrust is deliberate, punctuated by his voice, growling out words like a promise with every snap of his hips.

“you’re—such—a—fucking—mess.”

his pace is brutal, the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin fills the room, and all you can do is take it, your body arching beneath him, your moans spilling out uncontrollably.

jihoon doesn’t slow down. he leans over you, his mouth finding your breasts, sucking hard on the soft skin there. you can feel the bruises forming under his lips, the red marks blooming with each rough kiss, each bite, and you know they’ll turn blue soon enough, the evidence of his touch lasting long after he’s done.

“fuck,” you whimper, your nails digging into his arms, trying to ground yourself. “jihoon—i’m gonna—fuck, i can’t—”

“yes, you can,” he growls, not letting up for a second. his hand moves from your throat to your waist, pinning you down as his hips slam into yours with a cruel beat. “you’re gonna cum for me again, aren’t you? go ahead. let go.”

you don’t have a choice. the pleasure builds and builds until it snaps, sending you spiraling into another orgasm, your body trembling, your walls fluttering around him. jihoon watches, his eyes dark, his grip on your waist tightening as he fucks you through it, his hips never faltering.

“shit,” he hisses, his own release catching up to him as he pulls out, stroking himself once, twice, before spilling his cum all over your stomach, the warmth of it sticky against your skin. he groans, watching as it drips down your belly, his chest heaving.

for a moment, it’s quiet. your body is still shaking, your mind somewhere far away, but you feel his hands again—this time, softer. he’s cleaning you up with a towel he found somewhere, wiping away the mess he made, his touch surprisingly gentle after everything.

“you okay?” his voice is quieter now, the edge gone, replaced by something almost tender. he looks down at you, brushing a strand of hair from your face as you nod, still too dazed to form a proper response. you give him a weak smile, and he chuckles softly, shaking his head.

you think for a second that maybe he’ll kiss you after all—something soft, something to soothe the bruises he left behind—but instead, his expression shifts. his hand finds your shoulder, pushing you lightly as he mutters, “good. now get out of here.”

you blink, confused, sitting up slowly. “what?”

he smirks, grabbing a couple of books from the coffee table and tossing them into your lap. “you heard me. unless you want another good fuck, don’t come running after me. not for anything else.”

you raise an eyebrow, scoffing as you gather your clothes, slipping back into them without another word. his gaze never leaves you, watching the way you smooth out your skirt.

“right. see you around then.”

he doesn’t respond as you walk out, but you can feel his eyes on you until the door clicks shut behind you.

506 notes · View notes

megalony · 15 days ago

Text

Finally Coming True

This is a new Evan Buckley imagine that I am very happy with, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) has come to terms with the fact that she can't have children of her own. There are other ways for her and Evan to have a family. But their luck might be about to change.

(I'm thinking of making this into a little series if anyone is interested)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrenaline sparked in (Y/n)'s stomach when she felt a familiar pair of arms curve around her waist and a pointed chin perch on top of her head due to their height difference. She loved the feeling of his fingers squeezing her hips lovingly and the way he tugged her back so she was pressing into his chest like they were two pieces of a puzzle slotting together perfectly.

Evan's firm chest felt like a wall supporting (Y/n) as she leaned some of her weight back into him and felt the way he barely moved at the extra weight leaning on him.

Reaching her hands down, (Y/n) held onto Evan's wrists and gave a little squeeze, letting her shoulders tilt back a bit more so she was slouched down against him.

Her eyes cast up and her head tilted back until she managed to catch his eye and grin up at him. She felt him press a kiss to her temple and the sensation had her nerves tingling with excitement and love, all at once. She melted against his lips, wanting them to stay there forever, but she had to look back at the scene in front of them. Evan wasn't the one she was supposed to be admiring.

This was the first time (Y/n) had witnessed a hospital wedding, and the first time she had actually heard of one that wasn't just in movies for dramatic effect when someone was dying.

It was a different experience, having everyone cramped into the same room, all coiled together. Some smartly dressed, others wearing something casual that they slipped into last minute to make sure they were here on time.

She was glad both she and Evan had stayed somewhat smartly dressed. (Y/n) was in the plum purple dress she would of worn to the original ceremony, had the wedding taken place back at the manor hotel. And Evan was in a smart pair of trousers and a pale blue shirt with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled neatly up to his elbows.

They didn't look like they had received a last-minute invite and rushed down here, they looked good enough for family photos.

Although (Y/n)'s heart was melting at seeing her niece in her cute little dress and the balloon she was still holding which she refused to let go of.

(Y/n) glanced her eyes up towards her husband when he murmured "Remember the words?" into her hair.

She did indeed remember the words Bobby was uttering since he was officiating the wedding. They were a little different from two years ago when (Y/n) and Evan got married, but it was all along the same lines and if (Y/n) closed her eyes, she could still hear Evan repeating those words to her at the alter.

She felt a little guilty that her and Evan's wedding day had gone without a hitch and poor Maddie had received the fright of her life with Chimney and had to have her day ruined and postponed like this. But at least they were still getting their wedding day with their family and friends, and they seemed happy which was enough for everyone.

"Course I do," She murmured back and turned her head to kiss Evan's bicep. She grinned when he squeezed his arms tighter around her and tilted his head down to attach his lips to the top of her head, kissing her hair.

(Y/n) couldn't stop her eyes from glancing back down towards Jee who was stood right beside Maddie, smiling brightly with all the excitement. She looked so cute. Sweet enough to bring tears to (Y/n)'s eyes that she willed away before anyone noticed.

But it was as if Evan could sense what was running through her mind because his arms squeezed into her waist and he tugged her back into his chest. His body curled around her a bit more like he was becoming a security blanket, engulfing her in his frame.

Evan could feel the longing radiating off of (Y/n), and it was breaking his heart.

Looking at Jee always broke something inside of (Y/n) at the same time that her niece also managed to heal those shattered pieces.

(Y/n) couldn't have kids. Her likelihood of having children was less than ten percent, which was enough of a reassurance to (Y/n) that she was never going to have a child naturally. She had spent many nights crying, telling Evan the family he'd always envisioned, the one he wanted to make and grow and nurture so much better than his own parents had, was never going to happen.

Adopting was going to be their future, it was something they were looking into and as much as that helped, it still hurt to know (Y/n) wasn't going to get the pregnancy experience like every other woman.

She and Evan practically took Jee in when Maddie had her breakdown and went for treatment. She had become a daughter to them for a short time and even now, they took Jee out on day trips, they had her for sleepovers and generally showered her with love because she was their family. She was the child they couldn't have.

"…You can now kiss the bride."

Evan snapped out of the trance he had put himself in when Bobby's words registered in his ears. He looked over at his big sister and one of his closest friends. He couldn't be happier for them. When Maddie married Doug, the ceremony had been small and their parents didn't even turn up. Evan had felt dread in the pit of his stomach that day, and he could never get over how it felt like she was making such a big mistake.

This time, it was invigorating to feel warmth and happiness and a general sense of ease at knowing his sister was going to be happy this time. She deserved it. She needed it.

Evan took a step back, subsequently tugging (Y/n) back with him so they weren't too cramped between everyone else. It was lovely and endearing to have the closest people in their little circuit in here for the ceremony, but it was also unnerving. There was no space between them all. Everyone was nudging elbows and leaning on each other and it was very, very warm in here now.

Pushing up on her tiptoes, (Y/n) pressed a kiss to Evan's cheek and grinned when Evan tilted his head to catch her lips with his. She felt his tongue tracing her lower lip as if begging for entrance, but he pulled back before he could get any further. It was as if he remembered they were in public, at a ceremony. They couldn't be too touchy-feely in public.

Her fingers danced along his jaw and traced up towards his ear while she leaned up towards him and pecked his cheek.

"Love you." He whispered softly into her ear, feeling the way (Y/n) took a deep breath and the feel of her heartbeat pulsing beneath her skin. There weren't many special moments in Evan's life that weren't overshadowed by other things or people he'd rather forget.

But he knew this memory wasn't going to be tainted. This was going to be something that stuck with him for all the right reasons and made him happy. He had his wife in his arms, his family surrounding him and a moment that made all the difference in their lives right here and now. It felt like everyone in this room had someone to share the moment with, and Evan was glad he had (Y/n) here with him.

So many moments in his life he had witnessed alone, good and bad, and it always ate away at him. Not anymore.

Having (Y/n) in his arms, making him feel loved and happy and whole meant this day was going to be a good day. It was going to be a memory that wouldn't be tainted by bad thoughts or moods or by something bad happening.

"Love you too." (Y/n) let her temple rest against Evan's jaw and she took a moment to close her eyes and savour in the feeling of his embrace.

Her lips curved up and her hands tightened around his wrists when he gently but firmly started to tug her backwards with him again so they were melting into the background. Moving them both out the way so that Maddie could move and some pictures could be taken.

Pulling on Evan's arms, (Y/n) pushed up on her toes and hovered her lips over his ear.

"Just going to the bathroom, save me some cake."

"Will do." He muttered against her cheek, turning to steal another kiss from her lips before he eventually let her squirm out of his arms.

(Y/n) tilted her head down, a shy smile gracing her lips as she coiled her arms into her chest and slowly weaved her way through the other guests in the room. She tried not to push or bump into anyone and wormed her way out the door, taking a deep breath when she was finally back in the corridor.

It was lovely to see so many people enjoying the ceremony, but it wasn't great for them all to be cramped together like that. The room was starting to feel like a sauna with all the body heat crowding together and (Y/n) was glad for a little breathing room.

Once the room had started to fill up, Evan had graciously looped his arms around (Y/n) and moved her in front of him to keep her close and so she didn't have to be too close to anyone else. He knew wrapping himself around her would make her feel at ease with her anxiety. The last thing he wanted was for (Y/n) to feel uncomfortable or start to panic.

Rattling her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) smiled to herself and made her way down the corridor and turned the corner.

It didn't take long to find the nearest toilets and when she was done, she slowed down her walk to have another minute or so to herself before she went back into the enlightened room with the raised atmosphere.

She stuck close to the wall, letting her head lean to one side when she watched Jee trot out of the room, the balloon now tied to her wrist so it would follow her like a shadow without risk of floating away. She stopped in her tracks and watched Evan trail after her, but when he reached down and swooped Jee up into his arms, (Y/n) could feel her heart constricting.

Her hand moved to her chest as if the way her heart clenched was the beginning of a heart attack. She could feel her lungs becoming taut and narrow and she couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes when Evan kissed Jee's cheek. He sat her on his hip and wandered down the corridor with her.

She wondered where the pair of them were going, but it didn't really matter. It was the sight of them that made (Y/n) feel like someone was driving an ice pick through her heart.

"Hey, you okay?"

Tremors rattled through (Y/n)'s chest and she shuddered, pushing off the wall to twist to the left. She felt a wave of relief when she noticed it was only Hen and she let herself relax and turned to press her shoulders back into the wall. Her arms coiled around her waist and she nodded before she tilted her head down to fight off the rest of the tears threatening to overwhelm her.

"I'm good, you?"

She hadn't realised Hen had slipped out of the room too. She felt like she had a close friend in Hen. Of course, Evan had Eddie who was like a brother, and Chimney was now technically a brother to him, but there was a strong bond between Hen and Evan. He could tell her anything, and therefore, (Y/n) had gotten close to her too.

Hen glanced back down the corridor but she didn't make a move to go back towards the room just yet. Instead, she moved to stand beside (Y/n) with her hands tucked into her pockets and an understanding look on her face.

"Are you okay, really?"

(Y/n) managed a smile and let out a small laugh that almost sounded broken. She swiped her hand beneath her eyes, making sure she wasn't actually crying, before she ran her hands up and down her thighs to give herself something to do and create a distraction.

"Yeah, just… he just looked so cute, with Jee. I got a bit emotional, I know it's silly."

"It's not silly." The tender look in Hen's eyes made (Y/n) feel a little better, but she still felt like she was being too emotional without much cause.

Her arms moved to fold over her chest and she tilted her head down while her shoulders and back stayed pressed into the wall. It didn't matter that (Y/n) had already resigned the idea of being pregnant and having a child naturally, seeing Evan with Jee made that frustration and anger creep back up her throat.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. (Y/n) hated that her body was so against her like this. Sometimes, she wished she'd never found out she couldn't have kids. At least then she and Evan would have a small morsel of hope rather than the damning knowledge that it was never going to happen.

"That sight might be familiar in a year or two, you never know, you two might have a baby." Hen reached out to rub (Y/n)'s arm softly and she smiled, right until (Y/n) lifted her head.

The sorrow in her eyes wiped away Hen's smile and made her think she had said something wrong.

"I doubt it." Her eyes cast down towards her shoes that were tapping out an uneven rhythm against the tiled floor. "I've got cystic ovaries… he's got no chance of having a child with me."

No matter how many times Evan reassured her, (Y/n) always felt nervous when the subject of kids came up. She feared that one day Evan was going to wake up and realise he'd made a mistake, sacrificing any biological kids of his own to have a life with (Y/n). She worried he would turn around one day and say that it didn't matter how much he loved her, he needed to find someone he could have a proper family with.

And could (Y/n) really blame him if that happened?

"Oh, I- Buck never mentioned it. I know how hard that can be, IVF didn't work for me and Karen, and she took it hard."

Evan had never brought it up with anyone on the team, he barely talked about it to Maddie. It was something that brought Evan down at times, but it wasn't something he was hung up on. He didn't care how he and (Y/n) had kids, as long as their future would contain kids at some point, then he didn't care about the method.

And he had never said anything to the team or had that longing look in his eyes when they had to look after kids on shift or come into contact with kids in emergencies. He was always good at calming kids down and keeping them occupied and giving out random facts. Evan was great with kids, everyone could see it and if he was ever asked if he had kids, his response was always 'not yet.' with a smile that said he would have kids soon. Eventually.

"I just, I feel like I'm letting him down sometimes. You've seen him with kids, and he's amazing with Jee. I can't make that happen."

"There's always adoption… I know it's not my place, but Buck has found the one with you. Kids don't have to be biological, and that doesn't matter to Buck, I know it. Any kids with you, no matter how it happens, would be his idea of a blessing."

Hen's words of wisdom sounded surprisingly like what Evan had said to her one night when they talked about the future.

Evan didn't care if they fostered or adopted or ended up taking in ad caring for a child he met on a call out at work who needed a safe loving home. All Evan cared about was them making their family together, the exact way that happened wasn't an issue for him.

And (Y/n) knew deep down that whenever they got round to adopting or fostering, it would feel envigorating and as if their family was that much closer to being complete. It was just taking time to get used to the fact that it wasn't going to happen quite how she had always pictured when growing up.

***

A jolt ran through Evan's body and he shot up from the bed, sitting upright when a horrid sound seemed to vibrate through the house. His eyes scanned around the bedroom, momentarily panicked about why there was so much light creeping through the curtains until he remembered it had to be sometime in the afternoon.

He had been on a double shift. He didn't sleep last night, he came home this morning and completely crashed the moment he climbed into bed.

He sat up in the middle of the bed, feeling his heart hammering against his chest as he scrambled to get up off the bed and find his bearings. Whatever crash he had just heard in the house wasn't normal and Evan knew he wasn't home alone. (Y/n) was here. Either that noise was from her, or someone was breaking in during the day.

"Baby, you alright?" His voice was apprehensive as he headed out the bedroom and took a look around before he wandered quickly into the hall. "(Y/n), what was that noise?"

"Evan…" The weak call of his name had panic bubbling up inside Evan's stomach and he surged forward, hurrying towards the stairs.

Before he could even call out and ask (Y/n) whereabouts she was in the house, he saw her.

Crumpled at the bottom of the stairs. She'd fallen.

"Shit."

His heart jumped into his throat as he thundered down the stairs, pulling his lower lip between his teeth at the sight in front of him. (Y/n) was sat on the floor in front of the stairs, her legs curled beneath her with her back up against the wall and her body slouched to the side like she was about to curl up on the floor and go to sleep. Her hands were covering her face, partially smothering the small whimpers she was letting out along with each harsh breath she took which fanned against her palms.

When Evan got closer to her, he realised she was trembling. He clung to the bannister and used it to climb over (Y/n) since she was right at the bottom of the stairs.

He spun round and moved to kneel down beside her and he gingerly rested his palms on her thighs, unsure where to touch her because he didn't know where she had gotten hurt.

"Baby, look at me. Are you hurt?" His thumbs stroked up and down her thighs while he leaned closer to try and inspect her for any signs of injury or pain.

(Y/n)'s hands continued to tremble even as Evan carefully cupped her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face so he could look at her. He lowered her hands to her lap until (Y/n) whimpered and her left hand jerked up. His attention darted down and he brought her left hand up for inspection.

His lower lip sucked between his teeth. Her middle and fourth finger were trembling and bent at odd angles. They might be broken.

Evan went to say something, but when his eyes lifted to lock onto (Y/n)'s face, his expression fell and a sigh parted from his lips. He let go of her hand and reached out to cup her face in his hands, tilting her head back so he could try and inspect her forehead.

She had a rather large gash on the right side of her temple and a steady flow of blood was trickling down her head towards her cheek. It didn't take much guessing to figure out that she had fallen which such a bang that she cracked her head on the unit in front of the stairs that housed the shoes.

"Oh baby… I think I might have to take you to the emergency room."

(Y/n) couldn't help the way she groaned and the quiet mewl that left her lips. She could feel the blood trickling down the side of her face and her head was throbbing like she was a drum constantly being whacked. Tears were streaming down her face as she pushed forward and slumped her face onto Evan's bare shoulder.

She felt bad for getting tears and streaks of blood smeared onto his skin, but he didn't seem to care at all. His arms enveloped around her frame and he cupped the back of her neck as he kissed the top of her head softly.

She knew she was accident prone, but this was the first time (Y/n) had fallen down the stairs the year that they had lived in this house.

Her hand was twitching in agony on her lap, her head felt like it was swelling up to the size of a helium balloon and she felt queasy.

Ragged breaths left her lips as she tried to regulate her system for a few moments until Evan gently slid his hands down to hold her waist.

"Shall we try and get you up? I wanna get you checked out."

(Y/n) moved her hands to his biceps, keeping her face tucked into his shoulder and her eyes tightly closed to see if it would help with the headache throbbing in her temple. Her body was rattling like a pill box but once she was on her feet, (Y/n) felt like her bones had turned to jelly.

Her knees caved in and her weight fell onto Evan as her mind short-circuited. Her hands lost their grip on his arms and she slid down until Evan quickly buckled his arms around her torso and pinned her against him.

"Woah, baby, baby you still with me?" The quiet noise that clawed past her lips was enough to alert Evan that she hadn't passed out yet.

He tightened his arms around her and carefully turned her to the side and leaned her backwards until she sat down on the stairs. He let her slump against the bannister and crouched back in front of her, cupping her neck so she was looking down at him.

"You're definitely concussed. I'm gonna get changed and then we'll go to the emergency room, okay?"

(Y/n) sighed as she went to rake her fingers through her hair before she remembered that her hair had been tightly tied up at the back of her head. It induced the headache she already had and made her skin feel tight, but it had been necessary so the nurse could inspect the cut on her temple that started at the tip of her hairline and went down towards her brow.

She moved her hands down to her lap and ran her fingers up and down her thighs to try and keep herself busy and give herself something to do.

Her eyes locked on the cardboard sick bucket laid at the end of the bed and she grimaced and turned away from it. That was the second one she'd had since coming down to the emergency room. The nurse hadn't even started to patch her up and (Y/n) had clammed up and threw up on the floor. Then again five minutes later when she was handed one of those sick buckets. Since then, Evan had kept that one nearby just in case.

He knew concussions often made people sick, he had seen enough people throw up after a bad accident and once, someone had even thrown up on Chimney.

"You okay?" Evan whispered softly and when (Y/n) looked in his direction, he leaned closer to the bed she was sat on and reached out for her. His fingers cupped her chin and he tilted her head down so he could inspect her cut. Again.

The nurse had said it was deep but rather than stitch it, she had glued the cut together. Now (Y/n) couldn't get it wet for almost two weeks, which meant if she wanted to wash her hair, she was going to have to enroll Evan's help to carefully wash her hair and keep the water off her temple.

"The pain relief isn't helping," (Y/n) hated how her head throbbed and continued to feel like it was being hit with a hammer.

Whatever the nurse had given her when they arrived hadn't been enough to take away the throbbing headache (Y/n) had or the queasy feeling overwhelming her stomach. She felt like someone was about to rip her head off with how horrid the pain was and (Y/n) didn't want to think what it would feel like if she hadn't of had the pain relief at all.

"You'll feel better soon." Evan mused quietly while he dragged his thumb along her lower lip and leaned forward from his seat to peck her cheek.

He looked down at (Y/n)'s hand, noting that her fingers were starting to swell and she could barely bend them at all. She needed an X-ray, but that had to wait as the gash on her temple took precident, especially considering (Y/n) didn't have the willpower to move when they arrived. She had been drowsy and the concussion was only just starting to taper off.

At least she was conscious and properly alert now.

Evan had held her good hand and tried to take her mind off the bloods she had to have when they arrived. Then they had to wait until she had pain relief and was back to her senses before the nurse glued her head and left her to feel a bit better. Now they were waiting for someone to guide them down to X-ray because once her hand was in a splint, Evan could take her back home.

(Y/n) leaned over the side of the bed, keeping both hands on the bed so she wasn't in danger of losing her balance and toppling off onto Evan's lap. She brushed her nose against his and leaned down to steal a kiss from his lips. She felt his thumb grazing up and down her chin as he sat on the edge of his seat to be as close to her as possible.

But the moment was broken up when there was a light knock on the cubicle door and a nurse entered the room.

(Y/n) managed a small smile and moved her hands to her knees which were crossed beneath her on the bed. She watched Evan sink back in the chair while his hands began smoothing up and down his jeans in a nervous habit.

"Can I get an X-ray now?" (Y/n) gingerly held up her left hand which was still trembling and her two suspected broken fingers were partly curled, unable to bend in any direction.

"I think a doctor is organising that for you now. But we've had all the results back, you do indeed have a concussion, but your bloods have come back clear from any infection,"

"Good." Evan murmured softly and reached over to run his hand along (Y/n)'s thigh.

It hadn't been a big worry that she might have any kind of infection or illness, but with (Y/n) cutting her head and coming in with a lot of concussion symptoms, they had to make sure. They didn't want to send her home without antibiotics if she had any infection or anomaly in her blood, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"But, we do have some good news. The bloods show that you're pregnant, congratulations."

The smile on the nurse's face was a beaming one and it dazzled (Y/n) to the point she thought she was going to go blind. She looked like a young nurse, as if she hadn't been in this job long because she was overly happy to give them the wrong news.

(Y/n) couldn't help the way her lips curled down and the headache thumping at her temple got louder and harder. Why were they doing this to her? How stupid could they be that they managed to switch her results with someone else's?

She couldn't have kids. She'd been to her doctor many, many times for all the problems she'd had with polycystic ovaries. There were a few of them around her fallopian tubes and they were large and blocked the eggs from being released. (Y/n) had less than a ten percent chance of having kids, that was what she had always been told.

And even if she did somehow get pregnant, the exams and treatment she'd had confirmed that her cervix was small and weak. It meant she probably wouldn't carry a baby to full term anyway.

No matter how many people tried to calm her nerves, (Y/n) knew she was irrevocably damaged.

"I c- I can't get pregnant." The little huff at the end of her voice almost sounded like a laugh and she turned to look at Evan, exasperation on her face and a broken look in her eyes. As if she were asking him to step in and make this right, to get this nurse to see whatever mistake she had made with those results she had in her hands.

The look on Evan's face was perplexed as he sighed and began tracing his hand up and down his jaw.

Out of all the people in this hospital, they had to mix (Y/n)'s results up. Couldn't this of happened to someone else? It was cruel. This was going to give them a sense of false hope that they couldn't believe in. Evan used to try and make (Y/n) feel better about their situation with kids, he'd say because the doctor couldn't say she was one hundred percent never going to get pregnant, that they had a chance.

But with their likelihood being so low, any sense of hope felt foolish and he could see it didn't help.

"Oh, but the results-"

"I have polycystic ovaries, they- they got damaged. My doctor said I have a two percent chance of having a baby. I'm not pregnant. Don't-" Her desperate eyes darted between the nurse and Evan who was now standing up beside the bed. "Don't do this to me."

They had a false alarm before. (Y/n)'s condition meant she often had missed periods, heavy periods and they were never regular. But when she went three months without a proper period, she hoped. She prayed that they had a small slither of a chance at being pregnant. A trip to the doctor had left (Y/n) in a slump for weeks when she found out she wasn't within a chance of having a baby.

She didn't want any more false chances like that.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to regulate her breathing while Evan stepped as close to the bed as he could. Both his hands moved down to squeeze her shoulders and he leaned down so he could kiss the back of her head. Not wanting to go near her temple and cause her any pain or dare touch the glue that was still setting in her gash.

He let (Y/n) lean into his torso and when her hand reached up to cling tightly to his arm, he felt her starting to shake again. He gripped her shoulders and leaned his cheek on top of her head for a moment or two before he looked over at the nurse.

"Your hormone levels show you are pregnant, these tests are hardly ever wrong. But I'll go find you some water to drink and I'll book for you to go for an ultrasound right away. Just to make certain."

The nurse looked very uncertain and panicked and Evan figured she thought she may just have given the wrong person the wrong results or the labs might have made a mistake.

But Evan jolted back when (Y/n) scrambled up from the bed before the nurse had chance to step back.

(Y/n) reached out and snatched the paper from the young woman's hands and stepped to the side so the paper couldn't be taken from her too soon. Her eyes blurred as she scanned over the words and numbers, most of which washed over her head and looked like jumbled nonsense to her.

She scanned down near the bottom of the page, fingers almost crumpling the paper as she read over the elevated hormone levels she had. This was her results. That was her blood group. Her name and date of birth at the top of the page. And there it was in black and white at the bottom of the page.

*The presence of these hormones indicate pregnancy.

Horrible tremors rattled through her arms and caused her knees to quake back and forth like tooth picks about to snap in half. She could barely take in a proper breath until her lungs were gasping for air and her throat was tightening up in panic.

The page crumpled in her hands, crinkling and tearing at the sides as all the words blurred into one big mush of black and white swirls like it had been drenched in water.

She could feel her knees giving way on her but before she hit the floor, Evan's arms bolted around her waist. His fingers laced together and his hands imbedded into (Y/n)'s stomach so he could reel her back into his chest to stop her from crashing to the floor.

Evan curled over her like some kind of blanket, moulding his chest into her back and he smothered his lips against the side of her neck as (Y/n)'s weight leaned on his arms and he held her up. She dropped the crumpled piece of paper to the floor and switched to digging her nails into Evan's wrists like she was reassuring herself that this was real, this wasn't some kind of dream or awful nightmare.

The nurse rushed forward to try and help but she froze when Evan shook his head. (Y/n) hadn't fainted, she hadn't blacked out or gone unconscious, she was just in a panicked state and Evan would calm her down.

"Book that ultrasound please."

The nurse did as requested and disappeared from the room. She would find two bottles of water for (Y/n) to guzzle so she could get (Y/n) booked in for an ultrasound within the hour. She didn't fancy waiting and seeing what kind of panicked state (Y/n) might go into if she didn't receive some clarity soon.

Tears began to fall from (Y/n)'s eyes as she clung to Evan's arms and gasped for air when her lungs finally started to take in proper breaths again. She flopped her head back on his shoulder while he carefully moved her over to the side. He twisted around and sat down on the bed, shuffling back enough so that he could pull (Y/n) up onto the bed and sit her between his thighs.

She slouched back into his chest, reduced to tears and despite the pounding agony in her temple, she leaned her head on Evan's shoulder with her forehead touching his neck.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Our luck might be changing, sweetheart."

***

It couldn't be true.

That was the only thing circulating through (Y/n)'s mind as she and Evan walked into the ultrasound room. No. The test had been wrong. Her hormone levels must just be elevated due to her polycystic syndrome. It had to be a mistake. (Y/n) couldn't allow herself one second of false hope because no matter how small that hope lifted her, the fall was always catastrophic and the landing was even worse.

But every time she looked back at Evan, he had that faraway look in his eyes that made (Y/n) want to scream and kiss him all at once. He would dither on the edge of hope, and if this turned out to be wrong, he would somehow manage to hold himself together and hide the rushing agony from his face.

(Y/n) knew he was anything but calm, she knew there would be one hundred and one thoughts raging through Evan's mind right now, but he hid it so well that it was infuriating.

She felt his hand on her lower back as they headed into the ultrasound room and looked over at the doctor.

The doctor looked like a calm lady who took everything in her stride, and by the look in her eyes and the nurturing smile on her face, she had been told. She had been informed about (Y/n)'s adamance that the results had been wrong and this was not going to go the right way.

"Hi there, Mrs Buckley, right?"

When (Y/n) nodded, the doctor ushered her to sit down on the bed. (Y/n) knew the drill. She had suffered through far too many ultrasounds relating to her condition, especially when her symptoms flared up. Only one had been to check whether she had been pregnant or not, and this was going to work out exactly the same.

(Y/n) rolled up her shirt towards her bra, but when she looked to her left, she reached out and took Evan's hand. She gripped it tightly and pulled his hand to rest against her side. She wanted to smile when she felt him kissing the top of her head, but she couldn't manage it.

"Okay, let's take a look."

She was suddenly glad that the screen was turned away from them. (Y/n) didn't want to look. She didn't think she would understand what she was looking at anyway, but seeing an empty space was only going to make her heart break all over again.

It was an uncomfortable but familiar feeling to have the sonogram pressing down on her abdomen, making her bladder squeeze and feel like she was about to burst.

She tilted her head away from the doctor to look towards Evan; she wanted badly to press her face into his torso but knew she couldn't in case she wanted another agonising headache.

"I can see a few cysts, roughly the same as your last ultrasound."

(Y/n) muttered a quiet "As normal," under her breath because that was exactly what she was expecting to hear.

"And then there's a baby in here too."

Her words caused (Y/n)'s head to snap to the right as her jaw hung loose. She could feel Evan's hand tightening around hers while he pushed forward into the bed harsh enough to make the frame rattle and unbalance (Y/n) by mistake.

"No… no, I- I can't," (Y/n) looked between Evan and the doctor, begging for one of them to tell her that this wasn't happening. Since she was nineteen she had been told that it wasn't likely to get pregnant, and then her doctor all but put it in stone that this wasn't going to be her reality.

"Then what'd you call that?" Evan murmured against the shell of her ear, his smile so wide (Y/n) could feel it against her skin as he leaned into her and pointed at the monitor when it was turned in their direction.

Evan was no doctor, but he knew what that grey, blurred shape was on the screen. He knew that was a baby. Their baby. No one was lying to them or mixing up their results, this was happening. Finally, after so many restless nights crying and resolving that they weren't going to have a baby of their own. It was finally coming true.

Her grip tightened around Evan's hand until he had no circulation left in his fingers, not that he minded at all. He kissed her cheek, then her lips when she turned her head up in his direction and (Y/n) could feel her tears soaking into his skin. She couldn't help the flood wave of tears beginning to stream down her face.

"I'd say your about eleven weeks, all looks good. I'll add some notes to your file, and you should get in touch with your doctor as soon as possible. You can be put on antenatal care now."

That was something (Y/n) never thought she was going to hear.

A small laugh tumbled past her lips before she turned to the left and deadlocked her arms around Evan's neck. She pulled him down to her and burrowed her face in his shoulder, ignoring the blinding sparks in her temple that were nothing compared to the adrenaline sparking throughout her system and the butterflies swarming through her blood.

She felt Evan's arms loop around her waist so he could pull her into his chest and he attached his lips to the side of her neck, unable to stop from grinning into her skin.

"What did I tell you? Our luck is changing, sweetheart." He knew it. Something just told Evan that those results weren't a mistake. It was like intuition in his gut. They were going to have a baby.

This was really happening.

#imagine #911 imagine #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #buck x reader #pregnant! reader #buck imagine #request #eddie diaz #bobby nash #maddie buckley han

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cherubfae · 8 months ago

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accidentally shrunk! || hazbin x reader

with alastor, lucifer, husk, angel dust, & vox

tags: gn!reader, ftm!reader for angie, fluff, comedy, established relationships,

Alastor

He is quite amused by the whole ordeal, if not a touch worried for your wellbeing. You're utterly tiny, capable of sitting in the palm of his hand like a tiny doll. His claw gently nudges your cheek, tilting your chin up. Using his own magic proves to be futile. After several attempts he's still unable to change you back to your normal self. He isn't sure why his powers don't seem to be taking effect.

Alastor doesn't let anyone else touch or hold you. Legit will hold you in his hand above his head should Vaggie or Charlie try to get a better look at you.

"No, no, no," Alastor clicks his tongue. "I'm afraid I'm not comfortable in letting my dearest love be held by anyone but me. Surely, you understand." He gives you a little smile, his thumb gently stroking your head.

You aren't a little toy and the last thing he wants happening if Niffty mistaking you for a roach, so he prefers to have you sitting atop his shoulder, his head, or safely tucked into the pocket of his waistcoat with your tiny little head poking out to watch the world around you. As much as he finds you adorable and vulnerable in this state, he does prefer you as yourself. He'll probably head to Rosie first, he wants nothing to do with Lucifer. She always has her ear to the ground and he's certain he'll get you returned to normal soon.

Lucifer

Well, that's new. Lucifer is easily able to turn you back to yourself but he wants to have a little fun first. He lifts you up and presses little kisses all over your face, giggling to himself when you press your hands to his rosy cheeks.

"Can't help it, sweetheart! You're too cute!" He gently nuzzles your cheek, placing a loving kiss to the top of your head. He'll shapeshift himself into a mouse and pretend that you're a little fairy about to battle for Narnia.

When he finally turns you back, he is relieved. He much prefers you as your lovely self where you're able to snuggle into his side and hold you properly to his chest, sharing many kisses between you two.

Husk

Shit, this ain't good, but at least yer havin' fun, baby. Husk sighs, leaning his chin against his paws. His yellow eyes flick back and forth in amusement as you treat the bar counter like your own slip-and-slide, watching as you spin around on the shiny wood with a small squeak.

Husk catches you with his tail before you can slide off, lightly placing you back on your feet mirroring the grin you give him. "I'm glad you're having a good time but we gotta figure out how to turn ya back, hun." He leans back against the stool, hoping Charlie has found something or someone who may be able to offer some help.

Charlie, on queue, comes rushing down the stairs holding a light pink pearlescent vial in her hands. "Let's try this!" She stands triumphantly, proudly holding out the vial in her hands. "A drop or two on their head should bring them back to normal height. I have a feeling this will work, but as Plan B we can go to my Dad!" She beams.

Husk nods, giving you a tiny peck on top of your head that only serves to make Charlie coo. Placing you on the floor, Charlie uncaps the vial. A shimmery fuschia-purple liquid smelling of sweet berries oozes out and gently drops onto your head.

A whoosh of pink and yellow unfurls out and soon you're standing before them as mostly yourself. Your hair is now a dyed vibrant pink. Across the room, Alastor who is casually reading the newspaper, snaps his fingers and poof! Your hair is back to normal!

"You could've helped them this whole time?!" Husk hisses, fur bristling. Alastor hums, taking a sip of his black coffee, "Hmm no, just their hair. Good thing they're back in one piece, yes?" He grins. "Too bad you didn't play a little cat and mouse with them. That would have been a sight to behold!"

Angel Dust

As adorable as you are, Angel is fuckin panicking. He's not quite sure what to do and he's terrified of someone accidentally stepping on you. "Okay, baby, I've got ya, hang on!" Angel places you on his chest fluff, his hand holding you in place. Upon returning to his room, Angel begins to pace, wracking his brain for some sort of quick fix.

Depending on how long this magic lasts, Angel will 100% want to play dress up with you and have you try on cute outfits or perhaps make a cute little dollhouse for you. He's too scared of crushing you in his sleep so until this wears off, he doesn't want to risk anything happening to you. He's also worried about Niffty mistaking you for a bug, so when he's out and about, he keeps you close to him at all times. If he has to leave and can't take you with, he instructs Vaggie and Charlie to look after you.

"Do not let Niffty or the Egg Bois around them, got it?" His stern eyes are narrowed, making an expression that he's watching Sir Pentious. "Keep the Eggies in line."

Vox

What the fuck? He blinks, a jolt of electricity nearly short-circuiting himself. "Babe, what the fuck happened to you?" Vox scoops you into his hands, holding you to his chest. He's doing his best not to panic, convinced this is another one of Alastor's stupid fucking pranks. (Alastor has done absolutely nothing. However, Vox swears any inconvenience that happens to him is caused by Alastor's hands.)

Thankfully whatever has happened wasn't permanent. A tiny explosion of sparkles and a poof blue dust has the futuristic demon stumbling back, sighing when you're standing there at your normal height with a hand pressed to your head.

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened?" Vox presses, grasping your hand and pulling you into his lap. He's cupping your face between clawed hands checking for any sign of injury. "Was it Alastor?" You shake your head, coughing out some blue sparkly dust.

"Nah, got caught under some pollen demon's magic on my way to HQ." You grumble, leaning your head onto your boyfriend's shoulder. Vox sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Ok, ok, well, you're back," he grumbles. "Don't do that to me again."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #husk x reader #angel dust x reader

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novemberheart · 1 month ago

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{overview} You meet someone from Johnny’s past. A worst case scenario becomes a reality

{warnings} fem reader, poly 141, very Johnny-heavy chapter, cursing, mentions of drug use and alcohol, abandonment, abusive parents

Chapter 26 <- Chapter 27 -> Chapter 28

It had been more than a week since Kyle and John had left. A week and three days to be exact. You peered over at the clock on Johnny’s nightstand.

Make that four days. You had been having a hard time sleeping. Since your nightmare about Kyle, you've had two more. At least they were about you dying. That was easier to think about than a member of your pack passing. To make matters worse Simon had to leave last night to do some vague solo mission. Well, every mission to you was vague. Still, there was a heaviness in the air and Johnny felt jittery. Simon was going somewhere dangerous by himself. He seemed to prefer that though. Not that it offered you any comfort.

You wished you hadn't turned down a sleeping pill. It was too late to take one now. You sighed, rolling over, wrapping your arms tightly around Johnny’s middle.

At least you weren't alone.

“Come on, Bon,” you jumped as Johnny patted your bottom. He grabbed a few things out of the cabinet- specifically your favorite snacks. “Grab Vernie and change- casual. We’re going on a little trip,” he winked, throwing the snacks into a backpack and beginning to fill up your water bottle. You grinned, heading over to your room to change. It was officially summer, much to your dismay. You decided on a pair of shorts, a tank top, one of John’s flannels, and Kyle’s baseball hat. Johnny made a mental note to snap a picture for them.

You didn't bother to ask where you were going because you knew he wouldn't tell you anyway. The man loved his surprises. Wherever it was it was off base- making you even more eager. You and Johnny had similar music tastes, which made making you DJ less hard for him. You didn't make it too far before he pulled over at a store.

Your giddiness increased as he led you over to the swimsuits.

“Are we going swimming?” you questioned, already digging through the rack. He said nothing, a familiar glint in his eyes.

John and Johnny were more similar than people ever gave them credit for. It was easy to compare the betas and say they were the most similar, but the more you got to know them the more you recognized the similarities between John and Johnny and between Simon and Kyle. John and Johnny took charge. They were providers and made it known to everyone around them. They were both reactive. While John was a captain and had a higher expectation of controlling his emotions- when he was unhappy, everyone knew. Johnny operated the same way. The bark before the bite so to speak. You could easily imagine Johnny being a Captain one day. Kyle and Simon were both the bite after the bark. There was something mysterious about both of them that made people want to get to know them- for different reasons. They were both quick-witted and spent more time observing than speaking.

“How ‘bout this?” Johnny smirked holding up a bikini you weren't even sure could cover a nipple. You rolled your eyes, a smile etched onto your face at his antics. The perfect swimsuit finally caught your eye. A low whistle sent a shiver up your spine. “Quite like that, peaches,” Johnny hummed. It was decided.

You had figured you were going to a pool, so when you started seeing signs for a beach you couldn't help but shriek. You leaned over into the driver's seat, pressing rapid-fire kisses against his cheek.

“I’m so excited!” you cheered.

Johnny unloaded the car, a large duffle and a backpack. The sand was chilly but you didn't care. You and Vernie ran along the sand dunes. You came back to help Johnny set up a large towel and umbrella. You weren't even sure where he had gotten all this stuff. He even packed a few empty containers for sand castles. There was a breeze that reminded you of your childhood- and for the first time in a long time, they weren't bad memories. The beach was fairly empty, with just a few joggers and random families on holiday. Johnny grabbed a spare towel, tying the two ends and placing it around his neck so Vernie had somewhere to rest. You wrapped your arms around his neck, Vernie crushed between the two of you.

“Thank you for doing this,” you smiled, pressing your lips against his. He moved forward to deepen this kiss, until you pulled away racing towards the water.

“Ya’ Mommy’s naughty,” he chuckled to Vernie, racing after you.

You yawned, your eyes slowly opening. You could feel hands against your skin and you slowly lifted the baseball cap away from your eyes, chuckling as Johnny was rubbing your third coat of sunscreen into your skin.

“I’m going to get cancer from all the chemicals before I do the sun,” you stretched. Hours had flown by before you had known it, your stomach wanting more than just snacks. You and Johnny packed up the car (the worst part of the beach) and went on the hunt to find a restaurant for an early dinner. It would be a crime if you didn't order the fish and chips. Vernie was happy chewing on her puppy chow underneath the table.

“What are you doing?” you questioned, peeking next to you at Johnny’s phone. “No those look terrible,” you whined watching as he sent practically a whole new photo album full of pictures to their group chat.

“The only thing that's terrible is your eyesight, Bon,” Johnny shot back, his lips pressing against your hairline.

“Can you at least send me the ones with you, me and Vernie?” you pleaded. You felt your phone chime a few seconds later.

“Johnny?” a voice questioned from behind you. He stiffened, his body instinctively moving closer to you. Even Vernie could sense a shift as she drifted closer to Johnny’s feet.

“Fia,” Johnny greeted coldly. His hand gripped your knee. You weren't sure if it was to ease you or him. Your fingers wrapped around his arm in solace. They were related. They had to be. Her eyes were identical, and you suspected they had the same hair color before she dyed hers red. They stared at each other. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something. He remained silent.

“How have you been?” She asked slowly. She was Scottish.

“Why, so you can fill Dad in?” he shot back. They were related. Your eyes widened at the iciness in his tone. She swallowed, drifting from foot to foot.

“I’m Sofia. Johnny's older sister,” She offered you a polite smile. You started to introduce yourself but Johnny cleared his throat. “We didn’t know you were here. Shannon thought about texting you but”- she trailed off. Johnny slid out of the booth, urging you to follow. You quickly did, his hand reaching out to grip yours. Sofia followed behind the two of you, pleading for Johnny to stop. He opened the door for you, plopping Vernie in your lap.

“There’s nothing we have to say to each other,” Johnny growled, slamming the driver's door shut. He didn't bother putting his seatbelt on, pulling out of the parking lot. You sat in your seat nervously, his normal soothing scent of cinnamon turning spicy enough to make your throat burn. He rolled a window down. His hand reached for yours, holding it up to his mouth. His nose pressing against the pressure point of your wrist. He breathed you in like it was the only thing keeping him from losing it- it may be.

“I’m sorry, Bonnie,” he whispered against you. You quickly shushed him.

“There are people that would get that reaction out of me too, Mac,” you soothed. You pulled your hand away, your fingers scratching at his scalp. “Do you wanna talk about it?” you whispered, his head pressing against your hand.

He had picked up some fast food. Despite him being shaken to his core he still had to make sure you were taken care of.

“I haven't seen her in seven years,” he said finally. “My parents are purebreds. When I presented as a beta it caused quite the shock. One in a million chance that’ll happen. My father kicked me out and that was that,” he sighed, making you gasp. Your throat tightened, your hands gripping onto his shirt sleeve. His own eyes welled- against his will, as he offered you a slight smile. “Don’t be sad for me, pretty girl. It’s fine now.”

“No it’s not,” you gasped. “How old were you?”

“I was thirteen when I presented but I was able to hide it for a little over a year,” he cleared his throat. He couldn’t look you in the eyes, knowing he would break under their caring glint.

“Where did you go?” you asked finally. You didn't want to know the answer.

“Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Got roped into a crowd that wasn't the best, but it was my safest chance at the time,” he explained. His knuckles brushed under your chin, his thumb rubbing against your cheek. You pressed a kiss against his hand, holding it in yours.

“Tell me, please. I want to hear,” you whispered. He sighed heavily and you wondered if you had pushed your luck.

“We would crash in barns,” he nearly chuckled. His face fell. “There were drugs and drinking- all of which I did. When I was fifteen I overdosed, they were at least kind enough to call the police before fleeing. I was put into rehab and they put me back with my parents. My dad made my life hell until I left again. I ended back with the same crowd and when I was seventeen I got caught with a bag full of opioids. I was thrown back into rehab. It was good for me though. I was able to finish secondary school and I showed enough promise that they wiped it off my record. By then I was eighteen and joined the military when I got out,” he explained. His chest felt light, his shoulders relaxed against the seat. He knew you wouldn't judge him, but the silence was making him uneasy.

“No one in your family helped you?” you mumbled sadly. Your grip on his arm was tight, your cheek resting against his knuckles. He shook his head.

“They all sided with my dad. Can't say I blame them- but I do,” he grumbled. “My eldest sister Shannon reached out to me a few times the past few years. I just couldn't bring myself to answer,”

“You know I just see you as stronger now,” you spoke softly. “I’m proud of you.”

His jaw clenched, his head turning to face the window as he shoved back the tears. He took a deep breath, his fingers pawing at his eyes.

“Thank you, beautiful.”

Something wasn't right.

You could feel it deep within your chest, a heavy uneasiness. You stayed tight-lipped. It was just you and Johnny and you didn't want to seem like you were feeling into every thought you had. Simon had called this morning. You had been asleep. John and Kyle being gone is what worried you. They have been gone for two weeks now. They were only supposed to be gone for one.

Even though you didn't voice it- Johnny could tell you were feeling it.

It was your first night of peaceful sleep.

The phone blaring on the nightstand changed that.

Johnny groaned, his hand patting your back like he was already trying to lull you back to sleep.

“What happened?” he groaned as soon as he answered. He rolled you off of him and sat up quickly. “Where are you?” he questioned. You sat up abruptly, your body moving faster than your mind. It was like your body had already prepared for this. The other line was quiet. You couldn't even make out anyone's voice. Johnny reached under his bed, grabbed a bag, and shoved a few of his shirts in. He made his way to your room, your legs moving on their own accord after them. “Pick out a few comfortable things. I'll get your stuff from the bathroom,” he whispered to you.

Tears fell from your eyes. You couldn't help it.

There was only one reason you would be pulled out of bed in the middle of the night.

Someone from your pack was hurt.

Hi friends! This chapter was a bit of a doozy, but hopefully you enjoyed it! See you in three days for chapter 28!!! 🧡

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http-tokki · 5 months ago

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ʚ⁺˖ ↠ blue

ᰔ pairings: dabi/touya todoroki x fem!reader ᰔ content/tags: mha spoilers, childhood pov, abusive childhoods, childhood crush, blood, allusions to self harm/suicide, explicit language, smut, kinda not really, its smutty talk, angst, allusions to s/a, power dynamics, time jump to when touya is like 26, creative liberties have been taken with the original story, set in the century 2400 ᰔ wc: 10.5k ᰔ a/n: so there is a bit of a weird timeline with this one. instead of touya dying at 13, I've made it he dies at 16 and the subsequent events are a lil delayed, in the manga he is 24 atm but here i have him as 26, please suspend your disbelief for a sec cause the amount of work ive put into this so it makes sense, i almost went crazy

March 10th 2460 Touya: aged nine You: aged eight (and three-quarters)

Breakfast is at five, lunch at twelve, and dinner at seven.

The clock hands tick over the first five graduations and onto the sixth, meaning it is six minutes past seven and dinner is late.

Lateness is not tolerated by the Todoroki clan.

No reason, whether it be big or small, would be accepted nor understood by the head of the family, and punishment for being tardy ranged from groundings to lectures and in the most severe cases, a beating. However, those parameters do not extend to said head, who you think to be more akin to that of a prison warden than a father.

You watch the housekeeper slide the last of the food onto the table and take another look at the clock.

7:08.

The table had been set, food diligently prepared and presented, plates piled high with greens and dripping meat, three different kinds of fish, an array of soups, and other liquid foods. Mrs Todoroki often had trouble eating, so instead opted for warm broths and hot teas, and they were all going cold while you waited for Mr Todoroki to come in from Touya’s nightly training. Saliva coats your tongue as you breathe in the heavenly scents wafting from the mountains of food, your stomach growling in protest at not being filled with the delicious smells.

Ten minutes pass and just before the eleventh has a chance to be observed, the sliding doors to the dining room whoosh open. With the ease and casualness of someone who is above the law of the household, Enji Todoroki strolls in followed closely behind by the eldest sibling.

Touya trails behind his father, movements sluggish and slow, his frail body slumped in exhaustion and what you would only later realise as terror. You can almost see the muck that weighs on his body, dripping off sharp bones in big flat globs of swamp green mud, seeping into the reeds of the tatami mats below. Fresh wounds litter his arms, blooms of dark red blood pock the sterile bandages that were hastily wrapped around his limbs. The stark white began at his wrists and climbed up and up his arms until they disappeared beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. You follow Touya, eyes lingering on his wounds as he sits down opposite you.

“Fuyumi. Is he-“ Your question is hushed, spoken from the corner of your mouth to avoid raising suspicion of the subject.

“He’s okay, we don’t talk about it.” Her answer comes in a rush, eyes darting towards her father like a prey animal watching their stalker. “Just eat.”

Fuyumi’s mouth pulls into a frown for a quick second before her attention moves to the food before her.

You nod, attention shifting from the boy across the table to the plate that had been prepared just for you. A small helping of meat and fish paired with a big serving of rice and vegetables, the nanny even going as far as to put it into a divider plate as though you were a toddler, but you thanked her regardless, smiling up at the haggard-looking woman as she nodded politely and moved onto tending to baby Shouto. The food only holds your attention for so long before you glance back up at Touya, watching as he cuts into his steak with the precision of a man far beyond his years. Each move slow and calculated; every shift of his arms or turn of his head deliberate and purposeful, small actions to avoid raising awareness of his person. Come to think of it, all the children, save for Shouto, moved like that. As if they were in constant apologetic states just for breathing, existing, and with their father you understand why, but it doesn’t stop you from staring at the boy before you.

"Stop looking. He doesn't like it when you stare." Fuyumi whispers, smacking her knee against yours.

"But it looks like it hurts." You whisper back, unable to look away from the red splotches on the white bandages.

You want to ask if he is okay. If he needs a doctor and who did that to him? Was it a bully at school? How was the school not getting involved if he was being bullied this bad?

"Fuyumi," Touya sneers from across the table. "Tell your friend to stop staring at me."

Unabashed hatred simmers in his blue eyes as his glare falls on you. Heat rises to your cheeks, stumbling out an apology, and vowing to never look at him again.

No one had ever looked at you like that. With such hatred and malice, you didn’t even know existed.

"He plays rough, always falling over at school," Mr. Todoroki’s voice booms throughout the room, so loud and sudden it is like a thunderclap on a clear day. "You've got to be more careful, Touya. What would people think if they saw you like this!"

The lack of care for his son’s well-being gives you pause mid-bite. The vegetables fall from your fork as goosebumps skitter along your skin.

What would people think if they saw you like this?

What would they think other than he had been in an accident? Is Touya’s broken body a regular occurrence that people would be so used to seeing that it would start to raise suspicion? Had he been hurt on purpose? Why would Mr. Todoroki say that? Did Mr. Todoroki do that to Touya?

Your attention is pulled outwardly as Natsuo starts to talk about his day, telling his mom and the housekeepers all about the latest games and toys at school, the newest edition of a card game you like captivates you and your thoughts are swept away from the strange boy across from you.

Dinner ended as it always did.

Mr. Todoroki called the housekeeper over to deal with the mess and children as he retired to his office and Mrs Todoroki took her evening walk around the grounds of the estate. You can’t stay the night despite it being a Friday, you’re never allowed to stay the night. Fuyumi had stayed at yours plenty of times, your parents never saying no to another friend but never you at hers. You thanked both her parents and waved bye to her brother before the youngest housekeeper walked you home. That’s how every Friday night ended.

That routine had become a staple in your life, going on two years, before there was a change to the way of things.

------

July 1st 2362 Touya: aged eleven You: aged ten

The shift was subtle and gradual, like the way a house is warmed by a fire on a winter’s eve. Slow and steady, seeping into all corners of the once-frozen house until all you know is warmth and you can’t remember how the cold felt. That’s how you would describe Touya’s presence in your life. From the arctic interactions each Friday night at the dinner table to someone you would call a friend.

The first thaw of the ice wall that had formed around your friend’s brother, was an accident.

Knee deep in the heat of summer, you had rushed over after summer school, swimmers in your backpack and a dream of jumping into the fresh cold heaven that was the local pool. You had come looking for Fuyumi, hell-bent on getting your poor friend out of the stuffy old house and somewhere she could have fun without the risk of her dad making her or her siblings cry.

You had come to hate Mr Todoroki.

He hadn’t done anything to you personally to deserve the contempt you held towards your friend's dad but you had heard enough from Fuyumi. She had told you all the times he made her mom cry. How there would be arguing and then the sounds of breaking plates followed by her mom’s cries. Mrs. Todoroki never said anything was wrong, never alluded to anything other than a mild argument but there had to be something more, right? Adults didn’t cry over nothing!

“ ‘Yumi, let's go to the pool!” you call down the hall. “I’ll buy ice cream this time.”

The housekeeper had let you in, instructing that your friend was in her room finishing up some school work but after you checked her room and found no sign of her, you went looking.

That is how you found Touya.

Walking into the bathroom under the assumption you would find Feyumi, you are greeted with a situation you are not old enough to understand the severity of.

Touya slouched on the bathroom floor, surrounded by bloodied towels, unspooled bandages, and uncapped ointment tubes. A piece of gauze caught between his teeth as he attempts to bandage his bleeding hand.

He shouts at you to leave, his command broken as he hiccups around the sobs falling from him. Scorched skin covering the majority of his arms, fingers red and blistering as they shake.

That image sears into your brain. Imprinting itself onto your eyelids so that each time you fall asleep, you see Touya; broken and bloody.

There isn’t much you remember from that afternoon, only flashes and stills that live in the recesses of your mind.

The feel of the cold tiles on your exposed legs as you knelt before the once terrifying older boy who had never had a single nice thing to say to you.

The smell of salt and metal of his fresh blood.

The sound of Touya’s cries as you peeled incorrectly placed bandages off raw and exposed skin.

The acidic taste of bile in the back of your throat upon first laying eyes on the scene before you.

It had been too much for little you to comprehend so you just forgot most of it. Thrown it into a locked drawer in your mind and lost the key.

That was the beginning of the thaw, a gruesome and bloody beginning to a friendship that spanned years and ended just as horribly.

------

September 23rd 2463 Touya: aged twelve You: aged eleven

“So it's this really old movie that my mum used to watch” you explain as you click on the familiar title screen. “It’s about a girl who gets transported to this weird world and she has to solve some weird riddle to get out.”

Touya looks at you like you had grown a second head but accepts your weird movie recommendation. You sit down next to him, popcorn bucket jiggling as the couch sinks under your frame.

The beginning animation of Spirited Away starts and the familiar tune wraps around you like a warm hug. This was the movie you liked to watch whenever you felt sad, and you noticed Touya was a little sadder than normal these days so you offered to have a movie night. His siblings had all said yes but upon discovering that the movie was one from decades ago, backed out. So with just the two of you left, you sit in silence and watch as the beautiful world comes to life.

It’s a nice moment between the two of you, sharing something so personal with someone you would have never considered a friend and here the two of you were, watching a movie. Like friends!

“I’m gonna call you Chihiro cause all she does is cry and that’s all you do too,” Touya announces as the credits begin to roll.

“I do not!” you retort, slapping his arm lightly. “I cry a normal amount for a girl my age!”

Touya rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Chihiro.”

------

February 14th 2464 Touya: aged thirteen You: aged twelve

Spring is only a month away yet it feels as if it were the middle of December.

The cold of winter had sunk its claws deep into the city and it seemed as if it did not have plans to let go of it anytime soon. Everyone in Tokyo bundled up against the frost that coated the wind but it wasn’t the cold that had your hands trembling as you gripped a single rose.

It was Valentine's Day and you were about to ask Touya to be yours.

The nerves that had built in your stomach had taken over your extremities. It was as if your entire body was a live wire that every so often touched an exposed pipe and jolted.

In the two years since the bathroom incident, you had grown closer to the oldest Todoroki, sparking a friendship that consisted of more than smiles and shy hellos across the dinner table. Phone calls and text messages were the daily, walking to school and home together was the new norm, all things that one would consider friendly but there was a part within your heart that was growing to like Touya a little more than a friend. You knew it was a crush, you weren’t a little kid anymore, but you also knew that he was unattainable for many reasons. One was that he was a sibling of a close friend and the other being that he was not someone who thought about life that way. There was no room for crushes in Touya’s world. There was only hero work. How to become a hero and then how to become the number one hero.

You had heard this speech a million times. His plans to surpass his father in the rank of heroes and become the ultimate symbol of peace. Heroes had no time for girlfriends, only villains.

But you had no plans of becoming a hero so there was no real reason you shouldn’t try, right? Your mom had bought you the flower this morning, picking up on the crush that you had developed on your friend and very excitedly pushed you to give Touya a gift.

“What do I do with this?” Touya asks, confused as he takes the flower from your hands.

You had stopped halfway through the walk home and turned to your friend, eyes wide with fear, and shoved the bloom into his hands. Originally the plan was to hand it to him as you said goodbye for the afternoon but you were swiftly running out of ways to regulate your breathing to counteract the anxiety wreaking havoc in your stomach.

“It's for you” you answer, eyes trained on your shoes.

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you asking me to be your valentine?” There is a pause. “Do you like me?”

Yes.

“No!” you lie, shouting the word even though you didn’t mean to. “I felt bad that you hadn’t gotten anything, so I got you something and there you go, it doesn’t mean I like you.”

You hear footsteps, watching Touya’s shoes move closer to yours. “Just admit, you like me.” He teases.

“I do not!” balling your fists, you stomp your foot. “I already told you why I got them now shut up before I take them back!”

Another pause.

“Thank you,” Touya says gently. “Even if it's just cause you felt bad for me”

Spring had come early for Touya Todoroki.

------

June 28th 2466 Touya: aged fifteen You: aged fourteen

Romance had blossomed between the two of you, then wilted, then blossomed again, then wilted again.

Teenage hormones had been unleashing havoc on your friendship for the past year. One day you were fine and the next, barely speaking but it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

“You two just need some time apart and then you can talk about it, you guys will sort it out.” Your mother had cooed, stroking your hair back as you cried one afternoon after you and Touya had had a ruthless argument.

The topic of fighting was always the same. His insane need to overtake his father and prove him wrong. The need within him had turned insatiable. Morphing from a dream that would one day be achieved with dedication and hard work into something that was turning your best friend into a ravenous beast.

“You’re not listening to me. I need you to listen to me.” Touya shouts as you walk home together.

“I am. You’re just not making sense.” You roll your eyes at your friend, turning your attention away from the raving lunatic walking beside you.

“Why would your dad have it out for you? He’s your dad?”

Touya huffs and stops, hand wrapping around your wrist to pull you back.

“My dad isn’t like your dad. He doesn’t love me or any of us. He just wants us to be better than All Might.” His words are slow as if explaining something to a toddler. “He knows that I am more powerful than him and now he’s scared that I might beat him so he wants me to stop training.”

You groan out his name, annoyed at the constant conversation topic. “Your dad wants you to stop training because you keep hurting yourself. He has told you that a million times, he’s just trying to keep you safe.”

“If he wanted to keep me safe, he wouldn’t have let me train like this. This isn’t about me being safe, this is about me outranking my dad.”

“Touya-“

He continues his tirade. “Enji has realised that I am better than him and Shoto but he doesn’t want his loser son who can only use fire to become the number one hero. I don’t know why you’re on his side. Why can’t you be on my side for once?”

“I am on your side!” you shout, yanking your arm away from his grasp. “I’m always on your side, why do you always make it seem like everyone is against you!”

Touya’s mouth snaps shut at your sudden outburst.

“I can’t keep having this argument with you. I feel like you don’t even want to be my friend so you come up with this stupid stuff to push me away and if you want that, fine. Just tell me so I don’t have to listen to you anymore.” You huff and turn around, starting on your way home without your friend.

You don’t hear his footsteps follow you.

His apology comes in a text later that night.

I'm sorry, Chihiro. Can we still be friends?

------

October 19th 2466 Touya: aged fifteen You: aged fourteen “Can you promise me something?” Touya’s words become mist in the mid-autumn night.

“Depends.”

You turn to face your friend, feeling the dew-soaked grass squish beneath your shoulders. Hidden behind the garden wall, lost within the shrubbery the two of you hid from the housekeepers who had been tasked with wrangling the children in for dinner. Touya had run first, taking off down the hall the second he heard the call of his name and you followed, unaware as to what you were running from but you followed him everywhere so why wouldn’t you now?

“Please don’t forget me.”

“Forget you?” your brows crinkle in confusion. “Why would I forget you? Are you going somewhere?”

Touya is still on his back, attention rapt on the stars twinkling above him.

“Just when we get older and go to different schools and things change, you know.” He sighs. “Just don’t forget me.”

You sit up, concern overtaking your confusion. Why was he talking about this stuff now? Your friend turns to look at you, mouth pulled down in a frown as tears line his cerulean eyes.

“I won't.” You shake your head, scooting closer across the grass and grab his cold hand, interlocking your fingers together, you squeeze and swear an oath. “I promise, I won’t ever forget you.”

November 24th 2367 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged fifteen

Nights come quicker in winter.

Which means less time spent with Touya.

But at least there is a little extra time when he walks you home on an evening.

It is a little awkward. Walking so close together but not actually touching aside from the occasional brush of fingers that sent your heart into a sprint. There is something unspoken between the two of you, something that teeters on the edge of romance but not something that you are both ready to dive into. It’s not like you are kids anymore, if you are going to date, it will be different than if you just liked each other. You will have to act like a girlfriend and not his friend and you didn’t know how to be a girlfriend. Was it any different than how you acted now? Plus, kissing and hand-holding. God, you want to kiss him.

You both stop at the gate of your house. The lights in the living room are on which means your parents are up waiting for you.

Touya drops your backpack at your feet.

There is a beat of stillness between the two of you, the tension rising with every second. You had not spoken a single word to each other the entire walk home and you don’t think you will even say goodbye. Touya offers you a tight smile and steps back, confirming your suspicions of a silent goodbye.

"Hey, I need to tell you something." You blurt out the words, not wanting him to leave just yet.

"Yeah?"

"I…umm," you stammer, slipping your hands into your jacket pockets. "I know it's your birthday in a few weeks, so I wanted to know what you want as a present."

"That's a question, Chihiro” Touya's mouth lifts at the corners. “You said you needed to tell me something."

“I got mixed up." You amend.

"You sure? There isn't anything you need to tell me?" Touya pushes, taking a step to close the gap.

"I'm sure. I just got confused" You nod, affirming your choice of words. “What do you want as a gift?”

"Hmm,” He pauses and takes a few more steps closer, lips pursed as if deep in thought. “Well, I want some of those cookies your mom makes."

Touya stops a few feet from you, close enough for a hug but not close enough that it was weird.

You laugh. "Really? That's it? You don't want a proper present?"

He nods. "Wrap it up, and it'll be a proper present.”

“Okay, cookies it is” You mirror his nod and smile. Your palms start to sweat, cheeks and ears begin to burn as you look up at your best friend.

“Any more questions?”

You shake your head. “Nope, that’s all.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna go 'cause I should have been home ten minutes ago but you are such a slow walker” he teases, bouncing up on his toes.

“I-Um,” you stutter, unable to come up with a snappy comeback due to his proximity. “Go home before you get into trouble.”

“I’m gonna.”

He makes no move to go.

Silence fills the gap.

“Ahh, well I’m going to go since-“

You’re interrupted by a soft kiss against your cheek.

You still, unable to move at the realisation that Touya had just kissed you.

“Okay, I’m going.” He announces and takes a step back. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

You nod, raising a hand in goodbye as he starts back down the street.

“I hope you like me too, 'cause that kiss made me late and my dad’s gonna kill me!” he shouts back, already halfway down the street.

“I do…like you…back” you shout awkwardly, feeling every inch of blood your body had flood into your cheeks. “Good luck. Hope your dad doesn't kill you!”

------

November 30th 2467 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged fifteen

You speak at Touya’s funeral.

The third speaker of the ceremony, having been urged on by Fuyumi and Natsuo despite your protests, and the one to close off the day before his ashes were taken home. You tried not to cry, bottom lip wobbling all day and you would have made it had you not been shoved on stage, microphone held to your face as you unfolded the crumpled sheet you had stuffed into the pocket of your coat.

The rest of the day was a blur as was the week, then the month and only after six full months of grieving daily, crying god only knows how much, did you finally start to see the light at the top of the hole you had buried yourself in but unlike the times you and Touya would play together, his warm hand wasn’t there to help you back up.

------

January 4th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

You think about Touya Todoroki often.

How your best friend had been killed in some freak accident. How despite his father rushing into the flames to save his son, had come out unscathed yet all that was found was Touya’s jaw bone. It didn’t make sense and you had driven yourself crazy with theories surrounding his death. It was an accident, they had all said. Even if it was an accident, Enji Todoroki was not innocent.

You think about the kind of man Touya could have been if he had lived, what kind of hero he would have become. How he would save the day then turn and smile at his adoring fans, blue eyes blazing bright with pride. You often think about his eyes, remembering how they softened whenever he would smile at you, brighten as you offered half of whatever snack bar you had that day. You think about him enough that you think you’re going crazy when you look up into the eyes of a stranger and see Touya staring back at you.

"Touya?" you whisper as you stare at the strange man.

You had walked headfirst into their chest while crossing the dark street, ducking under awnings to avoid the winter rain. Hoping to cut ten minutes from your usual walk home, desperate to beat your roommate home and into the warm embrace of your apartment’s limited hot water, you took the risk of walking down the alley; what you weren’t hoping for was to bump into your best friend’s dead brother. There was no way it was him, maybe he was a distant Todoroki. Enji did seem like the type to spread it around so maybe a few illegitimate children were running around with the eyes of Endeavour.

His hand reaches out to grab your arm, nails digging into your exposed flesh. You want to wince, to cringe away from him but something within you is telling you to hold your ground. The stranger pulls you closer, all false bravado leaving you as you realise what’s about to happen. Your body tenses, hands uselessly curling into fists at your side.

"Who the fuck are you?" a harsh whisper cuts through the quiet patter of rain.

The hand your arm tightens when you take too long to respond.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.” Your answer whooshes from you, all air leaving your body in a single sentence.

The stranger ducks his head to get closer to yours and you turn your face away, afraid to look into the face of the man who had the eyes of a long-lost love. This had to be some sort of joke, right? You were not about to be assaulted by a guy who had Touya’s eyes, there was no way the universe was that cruel.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to I’m sorry, please.” Hot tears roll over your cheeks, your bottom lip quivering as you fight the frown wanting to form. You were not above begging despite knowing it wouldn’t do any good, if there was some way to get out of this situation alive and unscathed, you were going to try it.

“Hey,” the stranger calls to you, shaking you gently. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Great, he’s playing mind games now. You’ve seen enough true crime to know that there are no good people left in the world, especially the ones who lurk in alleyways.

A cold hand reaches out and grips your chin, lifting your face to his. The gesture is intimate, gentle and familiar.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean anything by it. I'm sorry, I-“You’re sobbing now.

“Look at me” he interrupts, fingers tightening on your cheeks.

He repeats his order when your gaze doesn’t move.

You sniffle, blink back tears that refuse to stop coming, and focus your attention on the man before you.

“I’m not going to hurt you so stop crying,” his voice is soft.

The hand that was on your arm now cups your cheek, thumb brushing away the tears that coat your cheeks. His skin is rough and warm, but there is a bite of something cold on his palm. He holds you with such tenderness you feel a tug at your heart not for any feelings towards the stranger but because you had never been held like this before. That a complete stranger who was probably a crazy psycho villain was holding you with the care you hold a baby animal with.

“I need you to stop crying and answer me, can you do that?” he asks, nodding as his thumb continues to brush over your cheek.

You nod, taking in a shaky breath.

“Good girl.” Heat floods your cheeks. “Now, why is a pretty girl like you walking alone at night?” he asks softly.

You blink up at him, surprised at the switch in demeanour.

“I just finished work and this is shortcut.” you don’t have time to come up with an elaborate lie. “I’m really sorry about the whole name thing, you just look like a friend who died and I thought that maybe he wasn’t actually- I’m sorry” You feel the tears welling up again.

“Well, he’s not me.” He sighs, removing his hands from your face. You kind of miss the warmth they had. “I’m sorry you lost someone, but I don’t think accusing strangers of being dead people is a good idea.”

You nod wordlessly, too stunned at his shift in tone to formulate a response. The man reaches up for the hood of your raincoat, pulling it over your head tight to shield you from the rain.

“I need one more thing from you okay?” he asks, ducking his head to look into your eyes. “You gonna listen to me again?”

“Okay.” Your voice shakes.

“Don’t mention that name to anyone else, alright?”

He waits for your nod and then releases your hood. “You’re such a good listener” The fact he is praising you has your heart spinning. Wasn’t he ready to attack you a few minutes ago?

“Now go home” he nods his head to the exit of the alleyway. You follow his nod and look back at the light-filled street. “And don’t walk down backstreets anymore, you could get hurt.”

By the time you turn back to face him, he is already halfway down the alleyway arms raised in a farewell. You watch as he turns the corner and only when he is gone do you let yourself breathe. ------

March 6th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

"Let it go, dude," Natsuo sighs for the umpteenth time as he packs his books away. "You're lucky you didn't get hurt. He could have been a complete psycho."

Your friend is right and has been every other time you have brought up the strange man from the alley and you can tell by the way he shoves the textbooks into his backpack that his patience is running thin. Over the years, you had grown closer to Natsuo, looking at him like a little brother who you could force to hang out with and do things Fuyumi didn't want to. Unfortunately for him, he was the first person you called upon meeting the stranger (Knowing Fuyumi would have had a heart attack upon hearing about your encounter). Initially, Natsuo was concerned, terrified for your physical and mental wellbeing even going so far as to suggest letting his father know about the incident to launch a formal investigation but you were quick to shut that down. You hadn’t been hurt and the man didn’t seem to be skulking in alleyways to assault anyone so there is no reason you should get heroes involved.

"Dude, he looked so familiar! I know him," you press on, hands splayed on the library table as you lean in as if you were about to reveal a secret. "I think he was a childhood friend."

You had purposefully omitted the fact the stranger bore a striking resemblance to his dead brother or how his entire aura radiated familiarity and warmth something you only really felt from said brother.

Natsuo laughs and zips his bag closed. " 'Yumi was your only childhood friend."

"Fine, a neighbour, maybe I don't know, but I know him."

"Should I schedule you with my family psych, or will this fade by next month?" You frown at Natsu, sigh, and then give in to his pronounced lack of interest.

"I don't need to see anyone because I know I'm right," you start to pack up your things. "But, just for you, I won't mention it again."

------

May 17th 2477 Touya: aged sixteen You: aged twenty-five

You feel stupid.

Really fucking stupid.

So monumentally stupid with every single decision that has led you to this moment. Led you to stand before a thick metal door, the sliding peephole pulled back to allow the man guarding the entry a view as to who knocked like some girl scout. The box of cookies in your hands does nothing to evade that image.

“I have a meeting with…Dabi?” you look down at your phone, squinting at the blurry name on your screen then back to the man guarding whatever was in that building. “I think.”

You have no idea if you’re being set up. If the person you had been corresponding with was the infamous villain or just some poser but what you have deduced from your months long investigation is that you had in fact met Dabi in that alleyway so whether it was him or not you were about to meet, he is your only lead into finally figuring out what exactly happened to Touya

“You think?” You hear the smirk in his voice at the uncertainty in yours. “I think you might have the wrong door, sweetheart.”

It is the right door. The creepy encrypted message you received gave you this very location with the exact time to arrive. This was a giant risk on your behalf. Trusting strangers on the internet to give you accurate information as opposed to being lured into a trap for human trafficking but the need to know more about the mysterious man you had met weeks ago was gnawing at your insides so much that you were more need than person. The hunt had begun with a very broad search into Touya’s death and the records surrounding the tragedy before very quickly veering into villain records and archives. There was a small lead with a hospital admittance for an unidentified burn victim in a hospital a prefecture over from Tokyo but that went cold when the body of the patient was identified two weeks post mortem through dental records. You had all but given up when a weird email in your spam box caught your eye. It was from an unknown sender, hence the immediate spam allocation, and had nothing but a link to a chat site. There is no amount in the universe to quantify the stupidity in your subsequent actions from clicking the link to chatting with the stranger on the other side of the screen but they had the information you wanted and so you followed their instructions to a bookstore, then a bar and then finally an internet café where you logged into the already open discord chat that had the location of the final meeting point. You quickly snapped a picture of the chat before it disappeared and three days later, here you stand in a deserted alleyway surrounded by boarded-up doors and graffitied walls.

“This is the address I was given.” You explain, holding up the phone so the guy can get a look at the message. “I promise I'm not with the police or anything, I just have some questions for Dabi and I know that makes me sound like I’m a police officer but I’m not and I’ve been looking for him for weeks so please, let me in.”

Your mouth sets in a frown and despite wanting to look intimidating and rough, you know you look like a child pouting in an attempt to get more cake. “Please, I’ll give you some cookies if you want.” A shitty bribe but a bribe nonetheless.

The man snorts. “You really have cookies in that box?”

“Yes. Fresh and homemade made and some of them can be yours if you let me in” You wiggle the box.

There is a beat of silence then the sliding peephole slams shut.

Fuck.

You close your eyes, disappointed in the fact you had come so far only to be shut down by some guy behind a door. Maybe this was the universe stepping in and preventing you from getting killed or trafficked. Maybe you should let this whole thing go.

Just as the last of your hope leaves you, you hear the click of a lock and then the door is sliding open. The man who you had been speaking to not ten seconds ago stands before you, muscular tattooed arms crossed over his equally muscular chest.

“Choc chip?” he asks, eyes trained on the box in your hand.

You nod.

“Fine, come in” The man tilts his head in a gesture to welcome you in. “Leave some on the counter.”

You nod again, your pace quick as you enter the building beyond the door.

The hallway is dim and damp, filled with cardboard and wooden crates stacked along the walls. The ceilings are high with exposed piping and hanging fluorescent bars that would have once lit up the entire walkway. Light bleeds beneath the many doors that line the hall, muted sounds following the flashes of colour that leak from the closed-off rooms. The smell is unpleasant, with mildew and mould growing along every available surface but what did you expect a dirty unoccupied building to smell like?

“Where’s the?” you turn to ask about the counter, but the man has disappeared. The door slides shut caging you in from the outside world, from an escape if need be. “Hello?” you call out and take a step back, dried leaves crunching beneath your feet.

Fuck. Fuck.

You turn on your heels, heading for the door you had stepped through a few seconds ago but are stopped by a familiar voice.

“Did you really bring me cookies?”

You whirl, fingers tightening on the box between them. “Yes, but if you don’t want them, it’s okay. I just thought that I might-“

You watch as the man you had met weeks before steps into the dim light. Breath catches in your throat as you are met with the face of the villain that has filled your screen for weeks now.

Dabi.

He is taller than you remember. Towering a full foot over you, his intimidating figure looms in the dim light. Your eyes follow the line of his scarred skin over his cheeks, down his neck, over exposed collarbones before disappearing beneath the neck of his shirt. Heat fills your face at your wandering gaze and you’re thankful for the lack of lighting.

“Who says I don’t want cookies?” Dabi smirks, taking a step out of the shadows.

“No one.” your answer is a broken stammer, earning a bemused snicker from your companion.

You take in a breath and square your shoulders. “I just don’t want to accuse you of anything.” A better delivery.

The villain hums and takes another step closer. “So, it is you then.”

Another foot closer, and when you don’t back away, one more. His steps are careful; small and reserved as if trying not to frighten you anymore than you already are. The routine is repeated, a hesitant dance of pushing proximity limits until he is less than a foot away. Blue eyes narrowed on you, brows furrowed in intrigue. Same blue as before. Same blue eyes as Touya.

His apprehension and fascination leave as quickly as it came, and you're left staring at a man who looks as if he wants nothing more to do with you.

“So, pretty girl, what can I do for you?” tone casual, pet name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. “You’ve gone through all this trouble to what?”

The thought of lying did cross your mind on your way over but you had already jumped through enough loops to get this meeting, you aren’t in the mood to play games and risk his irritation.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Dabi tilts his head to the side the way an animal does to hear better. There is something so unsettling about the he moves, something not entirely human.

“Talk about what, angel?” his eyes blaze blue as he notices the twitch in your lips at the byname. “About the league? About you? Me?”

“About you.”

Heat pools in your stomach at his affectionate pet name, embarrassment following suit. You should not be letting him get to you the way he is, but it could also be a good bargaining chip. If you couldn’t afford his services monetarily, physical payment would not be entirely painful.

“We can talk about me but first, I want to ask you something.”

“Sure.” The false confidence you had summoned before has not left you yet.

The insincerity of your act is palpable, but Dabi lets you go, lets you take this small win.

“How long did it take you to find me?” his question is genuine, interested in just how exclusive access to him is.

An exhausted sigh leaves your body at the mention of the time that you had put into locating him and his lips quirk at the gesture.

“Four months and 2 weeks, I think.”

An irrationally long time but there are questions that demanding answers.

“So, you’ve spent almost five months thinking about me?” he taunts.

Me. The emphasis on the pronoun doesn’t evade you but you don’t have time to dwell on his excitement.

“Yes. And now I’ve answered two of your questions, can I ask one?”

Dabi shrugs and reaches for the box in your hands. Rough fingers brush against the back of your hands, goosebumps skittering over your skin at the contact. He takes his time opening the small white box, bottom lip pulled between his teeth in contemplation at the contents before him and after a full minute of silent deliberation, does he pick one. Slender unscarred fingers dig into the box, fishing out the biggest and most chocolate filled treat.

“Did you make these?” Dabi holds up the choc chip cookie, inspecting the biscuit in the low light.

“That’s three questions now.” you announce as the unofficial score keeper. “and yes, I made them this morning.”

The making of the desserts had been a coping mechanism on your part. Too nervous to sit still but not so overstimulated you were willing to exercise to shake off the extra energy, you turned to an activity you hadn’t touched since university. The recipe was one you know by heart, having it gifted to you by your mother on your eighteenth birthday, you were free to think as your body worked through the motions. However, the purpose behind you baking said sweets was not entirely self-soothing.

Dabi nods and bites into the biscuit.

“I know you already said you don’t know the guy I mentioned when I first met you and I haven’t mentioned him to anyone again just like you asked me, and I figured with you being a villain, you might have connections that I don’t have and you can access more information as to what happened to him and I promise that I can pay. I’ll pay whatever you want but I don’t really have that much but I’ll pay in food, and that’s kinda why I brought some cookies to show that I can bake but that will only be a small amount because I’m good for a couple thousand-“ you reach into your back pocket to fish out your wallet. “I promise, I won't ever mention this to anyone, but I just really need your help, Dabi.” The juxtaposition of your pastel purple Kuromi wallet holding thousands of dollars as payment for a villain’s services almost makes you chuckle but the lack of recognition from your companion causes you to pocket the purse.

Dabi’s stare is unamused as he chews.

“Why is this guy so important to you?” he asks around a mouthful of chocolate. “You’re willing to blow thousands on some dead guy, not to mention you’ve risked your life coming here, so why is he so special?”

Your fingers curl into a fist, nails digging into your palm before you relax and answer.

“Because he died in a really weird way, and I need to know if there was anything I could have done to prevent it.”

“That’s a stupid reason.” Dabi spits out.

A frown tugs at your mouth.

“He’s dead. Who cares how he died and whether you could stop it or not.” He continues, rolling his eyes as your pout forms. “What’s the real reason you’re looking for answers? There’s something else.”

“It’s stupid.” You mutter, suddenly embarrassed at the reasoning for your investigation.

“Ohh, it can’t be that stupid if you’ve put all this effort in.” Dabi croons. “Come on, angel. You’ve gotta tell me why if I’m gonna do all this work looking for him.”

You take in a deep breath in hopes of smothering the tears that are threatening to spill but the lump sticking in your throat has other plans.

“Because he was my best friend and I loved him and I never got to say goodbye.” You sniff, nose starting to run as the tears build. “Please.”

Dabi stares at you.

“You made these?” the question comes out of left field.

You blink at the villain, unaware as to where he is taking the conversation but answer him nonetheless.

“Yes, I did. It’s stupid I know, bringing cookies as a bargaining chip but I-“

“Your mom’s cookies are better.” Dabi interrupts.

My what? My mom?

“What?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry but her cookies will always be the best.”

Your jaw slackens as you stare at the man before you.

“My mother?”

“Yes. Your mom made better cookies, and it’s not for lack of trying. Yours are really good, but they’ll never beat your mom's.”

Is he fucking with you? Is this some elaborate psychological warfare that he enacted on all his victims? Are you about to die? How does he know about your mother’s cookies?

“Aww, don’t get upset Chihiro. I'm just being honest.”

The nickname rattles your soul.

Touya.

Before you can even register that you are moving, you have crossed the space between your bodies and swung at the villain.

Your clenched fist collides with his jaw, surprising him out of his teasing. Arms wrap around your waist as you collapse against the villain. Your knees break the fall, bones scream out in pain as they slam into the concrete, and you brace for further impact but it never comes. There is a moment when you truly believe you are going to be killed, incinerated into nothing but ash for your assault but nothing happens and so you are left with no other choice but to get answers from the man under you. There is no clear choice as to why you chose violence, some primal part within you acting out of instinct. There isn’t enough time for you brain to catch up or even process that information that had been thrown at you. . In most high-pressure situations, you would retreat inwards and carefully unpack each and every detail of the occurrence like you were a kid under a Christmas tree; not a package left untouched, but you don’t have that luxury in the current moment.

Hot fat tears stream down your face as you grip Dabi’s cheeks in your hand, his skin rough beneath your fingers.

“You’ve been alive this whole time?” you cry, fingers digging into the gaunt flesh and when no answer comes you ask again, the palm of your hand connecting with his cheek in a sharp slap. “You left me to think you were dead, but you’ve been alive?”

Below you, the villain stares up in disbelief. Eyes wide at the mad woman above him, screeching like a banshee let loose. His thin shirt is scrunched tightly between your fingers, pulling the material taunt against his body. You have no control over your actions, feral and bowing to your emotions. You watch as your hand slips to his neck, pushing at the base of his throat.

Finger wraps around your wrist, pulling your weight off his windpipe and then the world shifts.

You are flipped over as easily as a leaf in the wind. Now on your back, the dust that had been kicked up from the floor sticks in your lungs and you cough as you cry.

Dabi hovers above you. Legs on either side of your hips, hands pinning yours above your head preventing you from causing any more harm to him. You try to kick, to wrench your hands from his grasp, throw him off you with your hips but nothing. You fight back against your opponent, teeth gnashing as you desperately try to find purchase on skin but he has done this too many times before to leave anything to chance. All points of access to an injury on his behalf are sealed up, held high above you and there is nothing you can do to reach.

Your cries are loud and deep and aching. Air leaves you with each heaving sob and you fear you may never breathe again. Spit and tears mix in a hot mess across your cheeks and you would wipe away the mess if not for your hands held above.

“I hate you so much.” You seethe, teeth clenched as you breathe in. “I fucking hate you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You hear Dabi apologising over and over again.

A hand brushes over your forehead, then your cheeks, then your jaw.

“You left me.” You wail. “You left me there, all alone.”

Your chest heaves, air being gulped down as if you had been held underwater to the point of drowning and it felt like you had been. You had been held under for so many years and now you were getting a moment of air, and your brain could not process it.

You take a few more breaths, calming the blood roaring in your ears and pounding heart and finally when your breathing returns to a semi-acceptable rhythm, do you finally acknowledge the man above you.

Dabi glides his palm along your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheekbone before resting his fingers along the side of your neck.

“I’m so sorry.”

A frown pulls at the corners of his mouth.

There is no longer a villain before you. Dabi does not exist. The boy above you is Touya. Your Touya.

You knew it. You knew it was him all along.

“Is it really you?” your voice is hoarse from crying.

“If I answer, you need to promise to keep it a secret,” he whispers, free hand curling in the ends of your hair that lay splayed out beneath you.

“Promise.” You nod and hold out your pinkie the way you did so many times as children.

Touya interlocks his pinkie with yours.

Fresh tears prick at your eyes.

“Hi, Touya,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He whispers back, hand pulling away from yours to glide over your jaw and slot into the hair at the nape of your neck. “I missed you.”

You wrap your arms around his waist and pull his body against yours in a bone-crushing hug. A laugh leaves your friend as he loops his arm around the back of your neck, holding you close. You pull back, face now centimetres from him and wait for him to make the next move. Your body follows his breaths, following his lead just the way you would follow him all those years ago. A lump forms in your throat and you know you look insane; hair mused, cheeks flushed and soaked in tears, eyes still red and crying.

Touya closes the distance, mouth hovering above yours and you think he is going to kiss you but nothing comes.

“Did you really love me?”

A sob leaves you involuntarily.

“I loved you so much, you have no idea.” The truth spills from you. “I love you so much.”

At the confession, Touya kisses you.

His mouth is soft on yours in the gentlest of kisses, almost as if he was afraid that you would fall apart if he pushed any harder. You part your lips to test the waters and when Touya follows your lead opening his mouth against yours, you grip onto the shirt bunched up around his waist. He lets you lead, lets you take control and set the pace for the first few minutes. Following your moves and pressure against your body to not push you any more than you already had been but as you whimper beneath him, his demeanour shifts.

Fingers tighten in your hair and the hand that had been holding himself up comes to rest on your waist, slipping beneath your body to pull you closer to him. Your mouth opens wider beneath his and you feel his tongue trace your bottom lip before flicking into your mouth. Menthol and chocolate fill your senses and you scramble for more, hands gripping his face as you desperately try to get your fill of him; of Touya. The steel of the staples bites into your palm but you don’t care, don’t care what form you have him in, you have your Touya back.

You’re being lifted off the floor, hoisted to sit on his lap, feeling the entirety of his body against yours.

You pull away to stare at him, not believing this is happening and that at any moment you are going to wake up or snap out of your delusion.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Touya asks, eyes frantically searching for the reason you aren’t kissing him anymore.

Your chest constricts at his concern. The same sweet and caring boy you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I’m okay, I just-“You stroke his cheeks and he leans into your touch, inhaling a shaky breath. “I missed you so much. There was so much we didn’t get to do.”

He frowns and nuzzles further into your palm. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to apologise, I just want..” You can’t form the words. Can’t articulate the need within you for him. All these years you’ve held a torch for your deceased best friend. All these years you could have had him with you and now that you do, you aren’t letting go. “I just want you.”

Touya’s frown deepens. “Even now?” His thumbs stroke circles along your clothed skin.

You know he is referring to his crimes. All the bad he has done and probably will do. You do not care. You had long ago abandoned your hope in the heroes of society, having been granted a look into the past of the now top hero. There is nothing for you in that world, nothing on offer that could sway your feelings for the man below you.

“Even now, and tomorrow and the day after that and yesterday and the day before and the month before that” You smile, knowing you weren’t making sense but none of this made sense. “I never forgot about you.”

Touya’s eyebrows knit together in an expression you don’t know and for a moment you panic; worried you had crossed a line that you didn’t know existed. You want to apologise, take back the words that had so carelessly tumbled out but his grip on your body stops you.

“I never stopped thinking about you,” he sighs, hands sliding up to press into the small of your back.

“Really?” you beam, unable to stifle the excitement that grows in you at his confession.

You are no longer an adult woman sitting in a dirty and dusty warehouse; you are fifteen and hearing your crush confess words you had been so desperately wishing to be spoken.

Your best friend’s fingers trailing over your spine pull you back to the present.

“Never for a single second,” he tests the waters and slips one hand under the hem of your shirt. “I never wanted to forget you.”

When no protest on your behalf comes, Touya slips his other hand beneath the material and begins to trace shapes into your skin.

“What did you think about?” your question is breathless, head beginning to swim as you feel heat bloom in your stomach.

Touya hums in thought, fingers beginning to climb your ribs. “Good things. Great things actually.” hands splay over the band of your bra. “some bad things but that isn’t important.”

Your thighs slip further apart at the implication; weight now fully resting atop his hips. There is no doubt that he can feel the heat from between your legs, the warmth that had begun to pool in the seam of your panties.

“Bad things?” you ask the question without knowing what kind of answer you would get. “I was nothing but nice to you, what bad things could you be thinking of?”

You feel his cock twitch at your innocence. Perfect.

Your answer comes in the form of an action. Touya leans forward and captures your mouth in a searing kiss. All teeth and tongue as his fingers pressed hard into your spine, holding you against his body as if you are a buoy and he is lost at sea. Your own hands begin to wander, sliding from where they came to rest on his neck, into the hair at the nape of his neck and as he digs his teeth into your bottom, you pull at the strands between your digits.

Touya pulls away, breathless.

“I always kept an eye on you, you know.” he pants, pushing your body away only enough to ogle you freely. “And I’ve gotta say you grew up so well.”

There are two thoughts that cross your mind in that spilt second. One: to bring up the fact he has kept you within his sighs for years, has been in the shadows of you life and how there is a part of you, not that big but enough to plant a seed of betrayal, that you can’t forgive him for that. Two: to throw caution to the wind and give into the part of you that aches for him.

The latter wins out.

“I did always think that Dabi was really handsome” you admit, an air of nonchalance in your words.

“Oh yeah? Even with all the new mods?”

“New mods?” you laugh. “Why do you make it sound like you’ve upgraded a game or something?”

Touya laughs with you.

“I’m serious,” vulnerability swims in his eyes as he looks up at you waiting for praise. “Do you really think that I’m still handsome?”

You nod and duck your head closer to his. “I still think you’re so handsome and you will always be handsome, which is really unfair.”

His lips are pressed against yours in a soft kiss. It's gentle and sweet, with no hint of the darkness lurking just below.

“Even after all these years how do you manage to make me so weak?” Touya pulls away to admire you.”You, my pretty girl, are my weakness.”

He tucks your hair behind your ears, holding your cheeks in his cupped hands and pulls you back in for a kiss and you melt into his touch at the possessive compliment.

“All these years, I never thought I’d get to talk to you again let alone touch you.” His mouth moves to your neck, pressing sloppy open-mouthed kisses against your skin. “but, fuck, have I thought about it.”

Your skin flushes at his confession.

His teeth sink into your neck, hard enough to leave a mark but not enough to break the skin.

“Thought about kissing you like this” his words are slurred.

Slick begins to pool in your panties, the seam of your jeans dampening.

“Thought about having you in my lap, just the way you are and how good you’d feel on my cock.”

Your head swims at his words.

“When I saw you again for the first time a few years ago, it took everything in me to not walk up to you and kiss you right there and then.” He bites lower, nipping at your collarbone.

Rough hands make their way under your shirt, exploring the expanse of your back.

“Thought about holding you and kissing you and taking you home.” he bites again. “God, the amount of time I’ve spent imagining you under me or spread out just for me.” Breathing becomes hard. “All for me, just for me.” He chants your name as if it were a prayer.

You grind your hips over his, feeling his cock hard and aching beneath you. Touya groans against your throat, fingers digging into your skin. Hands begin to wander downwards until they find purchase on the buttons of his pants, stopping at the metal for approval from the man beneath you and when it comes in a rushed yes, please you flick open the clasp. Your movements are awkward and nervous, having never thought this would happen and you can tell Touya is just as jittery. His fingers dip under the waistband of your pants, toying with the soft elastic of the band. Your hands follow his and pull at the material, trying to pull it down but stop at the realisation there is no way you could do this and still look seductive.

“I’m trying really hard to make this hot, but I don’t think it’s gonna work.” You admit, giggling at the absurdity.

Touya shakes his head, removing his hands from your hips to hold your face again. “I don’t want to fuck you here.” He presses a kiss to your nose.

Before you can ask, he is answering.

“I’m not gonna have the first time I fuck you be on a dirty floor in a random building.” A kiss on your right cheek.

“But what if I want that?” you retort, hand reaching down between the two of you.

His breath catches as your fingers brush against his clothed cock.

“I know you want that,” he pulls your hand away and entwines your fingers. “and you know I do too,” A kiss to your left cheek. “But I had a plan back when we were younger,” he brings your hand to his lips. “and I’ve already had so much taken from us that I’m not letting our first time be taken too.”

Your heart squeezes. He really is the same boy you fell in love with.

“So as much as we both want it, please let me do this, okay?”

You pout, a habit you had formed long ago that usually got you what you wanted from him.

“Please, baby.” The pet name is a gut punch.

You nod and hold up your pinkie.

“You promise?”

Touya grins wider than you had ever seen and entwines his finger with yours.

“I promise.”

May 17th 2477 Touya: aged twenty-six You: aged twenty-five

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ᰔ a/n: NOT PROOFREAD! ohmygosh, this was a long haul. I wrote it and then rewrote it and then rewrote it and so on and so forth till I got here. tiny TINY smut cause i didn’t wanna write a whole ass thing so I might do a one shot of it later. this exhausted me holy- also shout out to billie eilish lmao her entire new album helped me write this mainly chihiro, the greatest and blue but also harry styles' as it was and madds buckley's brother

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