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concussed-to-pieces · 3 years

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The Mettle Of A Man; Part Six

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

“General!”

The unfamiliar voice roused Danse from his staring match with the coffee pot and he lunged to his feet, Righteous Authority at the ready.

“At ease, Paladin. It's one of my friends.” Backhand soothed him, waving at the young man striding through the tatos towards them. “Preston! What brings you to this corner of the wilderness?”

Preston was on the taller side, well-built and wearing a strange combination of period clothing that Danse quickly identified as a higher-ranking Minuteman’s uniform. A scar hugged the brown skin on his left cheek, its path similar to Maxson's (though not as deep). His eyes, while kind, were haunted even in the bright light of morning.

“We got the radio set back up in The Castle, and then we tuned into a repeating distress signal from a weird short-range frequency. Figured it was worth checking out.” The Minuteman touched the large brim of his odd hat while speaking to Backhand, almost like he was deferring to her. "You might have sent a message warning us that a Brotherhood research contingent was on their way. I'm not sayin' we would have left the queen untouched , but...well, you know how much folks around here like their seafood."

Preston Garvey ( head lieutenant of the Commonwealth Minutemen ) didn't appear to have a malicious bone in his body, his handshake for Danse firm when Backhand introduced him. Danse found himself pinned by those intense brown eyes, the paladin squirming inwardly while the dark-skinned man studied him.

“You Brotherhood boys are bad news for the Commonwealth, but we can't exactly afford to be picky,” Preston stated bluntly with a disarming smile. “So, welcome aboard!”

Danse felt his face go hot at the insinuation, opening his mouth to say... something , he wasn't sure what, but Preston was already refocusing on Knight Vega. Or should he say General Vega? This was the second time someone had referred to her as ‘General’.

Danse wasn't used to being so simply dismissed. He was, after all, a paladin . An overgrown specimen of a man in or out of his armor, with a carefully-crafted demeanor of stern authority. Preston didn't seem particularly rude though, mostly just exhausted. He had propped himself up with his laser musket as Backhand explained their mission of the day. Mainly, reacquire Danse's armor and mop up any remaining threats in Weston.

Danse realized he had no control in this operation as he was sans-armor and he almost laughed aloud at the role reversal in the field. Playing the damsel was definitely a novel sensation for the hulking paladin and he said as much, prompting Backhand into a fit of giggles.

“Pretty sure I was the damsel at first, this guy has a hell of a throwing arm!” She informed Preston, thumbing the reinforced strapping of her combat armor. “Tossed me like I was a skipping rock!”

“You threw the General?!” Preston sputtered.

“It was a reflex .” Danse stressed the word, flustered.

“Yeah but you threw a whole human being? ” The Minuteman asked incredulously. “I mean, damn, what do they feed you guys?”

“To be fair, the power armor enhances-”

“Oh yeah, and he can move his armor even when the core's blown.” Backhand tacked on like she was a proud parent. Preston looked at Danse a little sideways, as though he suspected Knight Vega was talking him up.

But the Minuteman simply shrugged after a moment, adjusting his hat. “So what's the plan, General? I'm going to assume it's his armor that was pinging the distress signal.”

Danse's breath hitched as it dawned on him that yes , that was exactly what was happening. The severe damage would have activated the emergency beacon, just like with Brandis’ team. And if some haphazard, ramshackle radio at Fort Independence could pick it up…

If it's been going off since last night ...

Their beacons carried their call tags. The Prydwen would have known it was his armor specifically. They had vertibirds to spare, despite Maxon's posturing when they had departed. Surely there had to be some logical reason as to why no one from the Brotherhood had come to investigate the signal. Danse couldn't think of anything at the moment, but surely …

…

The armor was exactly where it had been yesterday, a protective shell resting on a leg and three-quarters. Seeing the damage up close was sobering for Backhand, and judging from Danse's stony expression he was in the same boat.

“At least it was super mutants. If it had been raiders or, God forbid, gunners …” Preston trailed off, touching the brim of his hat. His hand shook a little.

“I know, trust me. We would have been in for a really terrible time.” Backhand muttered.

Danse, who had been essentially silent, abruptly began speaking. “Back in the Capital Wasteland, I once took an Enclave bullet to the leg. Hit a rust patch just right. Penetrated my armor and shredded my calf. I learned then that our equipment is not infallible by any stretch of the imagination.” Danse's fists were tight at his sides. “It's... distressing when a soldier jettisons his gear in combat, but I'll be fine.”

"You think you can get it working again?"

Danse scoffed at Preston's query, a grin quirking his lips as he tugged a fresh core out of one of his utility pouches. "Give me an hour. I'm no proctor, but I know a thing or two about my own armor."

The paladin muscled his armor onto its back, looking for all the world like he was slowly grappling with the empty suit. Backhand fought the urge to snort, shifting her attention back to Preston instead. "So how's Independence coming, hot shot?" She jibed, making him give her a tentative, self-conscious smile.

"Really well, I'd say. Crops are planted, we have 'round the clock radio coverage and old Minutemen are showing up to get their transponders re-tuned for our new frequency!" Preston replied excitedly. "We gotta' get yours fixed up too, General."

"You're still accepting the deserters?" Backhand wasn't exactly surprised , but it was a little strange to see how enthused Preston was about welcoming old Minutemen back into the fold.

"W-Well, new recruits are coming in too! We needed more trainers and-" Preston hurried to justify himself and Backhand jostled his shoulder.

" Relax , tight lace, I'm only teasing. It's any port in a storm. No matter what you've done, you know I'm proud of you." She said softly. Preston's cheeks darkened further with a ruddy flush, the young man coughing and tugging bashfully at the brim of his hat.

"That's...real kind of you to say, General." He muttered after a second.

"I try to only speak the truth with my friends." Backhand gestured vaguely towards the paladin who was straightening out the plating on the torso of his armor. "Sometimes they're a little... hardheaded , but I know it'll get through to them eventually." Her statement was pointed enough that Preston raised an eyebrow. "He's a decent man. Something is fucked up between him and their leader, Maxson. I'm not quite sure what ." She continued in an undertone.

"Careful about how deep you're digging the hole, General." Preston warned. "Brotherhood's got a fanaticism that's borderline religious."

"Garvey, I was in the original . If there's one thing I'm familiar with, it's military maniacs."

"Fair enough I suppose." Preston fanned himself with his hat, idly watching Danse beat his armor back into shape. "He's good looking, I'll give him that. Penchant for a type, General Vega?" He teased with a smile.

"I can neither confirm nor deny!" Backhand laughed, "you're nosier than a pre-war tabloid journalist, Garvey. Planning on taking up with Piper?"

"If it helps spread the word about the Minutemen, absolutely!"

The two of them lapsed into a companionable silence for several minutes. Danse abruptly glanced up, the lack of conversation seeming to penetrate his single-minded focus. "Am I being too loud?" He asked awkwardly. "I can try to be quieter."

"Nah, keep doing what you were doing." Garvey gave him a wave that was almost lazy. "I'm just taking in the scenery."

…

The plan that Knight Vega proposed was ludicrously simple.

She had found a metal bucket in one of the trailers beside the water treatment plant. She would put her Pip Boy into it, turn on the radio and set the volume to max. Hopefully the racket would lure any remaining mutants out of the facility, wherein the all too eager trio would fall upon them with gusto.

Preston was game for it as well, already cranking up the power in his laser musket as Backhand settled the bucket on its side by the front doors.

The usual vein of music issued from the Pip Boy, echoing a little in the bucket. Blaring brass overpowered any of the more delicate parts of the tune and Backhand laughed, playfully extending a hand to Preston. "Dance with me, LT? I'm sure we've got a few minutes."

To Danse's utter dismay, the Minuteman did just that. Surely, this was some breach of protocol? The young man referred to her as his superior officer! Regardless of how lax their standards were, this couldn't possibly be proper. This…

This was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

Danse would be eternally grateful for the rigorous self control that enabled him to school his face into a neutral expression. Preston wasn't a half-bad dancer but Backhand was terrible , just downright uncoordinated.

The two of them were laughing like they had forgotten the issue at hand and for one blissful second, Danse found himself strangely at peace. Just watching both individuals fumble through some semblance of a dance he would never know, grinning and poking fun, entirely unconcerned about the world around them.

Danse was used to being watched. Scrutinized. Held to a higher standard than anyone else around him due to rank or simple expectation. Knight Vega...he should say something. Tell her to shape up. This behavior was unacceptable . Maxson could have her stripped of her probationary knight rank for this. Maxson could…

Maxson .

The paladin gritted his teeth.

Elder Maxson could do a lot of things. The intensity of the depression that followed the thought startled even Danse. It was like a wet blanket wrapping itself around his entire body. Maxson could do a lot of things. He could have ended this before it even started. He could have mounted the assault when Brandis' team vanished. He could have-

The doors to the complex swung wide open, four super mutants sprinting out. Danse's heart leaped into his throat.

Backhand and Preston-!

His body moved without thought, the armored paladin placing himself between the threat and the two who were now scrambling to prepare themselves. Danse cracked his knuckles in his gauntlets, bullets whipping through the air by his head. Three of the mutants were only armed with boards and sledgehammers, but the largest one carried a rifle of some kind.

A musket shot boomed from behind the paladin, pulping the head of one of the mutants. Danse surmised coldly that it must have been Preston's kill. Danse wasn't unarmed, but the enemy also wasn't inclined to give him the time to sling his laser rifle back around, and so it was with his armored fists that he rushed the trigger-happy mutant.

…

"Gotcha'!" Backhand's shotgun sounded off, the loud report muffled by the way she had rammed the barrel into the mutant's chest. Beside her, Preston kept winding up his musket to power his next shot. That first shot had been just what the doctor ordered, quickly putting the odds more in their favor.

There was a loud, angry grunt and Backhand looked up to see a super mutant go sailing past her and slam through the side of one of the trailers. Preston gaped at the sight, ceasing to crank his musket momentarily.

A roar of " abomination! " echoed through the courtyard, the sheer volume of it enough to give Backhand pause. The paladin had gotten too close to the mutant with the gun for the creature to continue to use it effectively and Danse pressed his advantage. Backhand watched slightly dumbfounded while the large man went toe to toe with the massive mutant.

The mutant yammered at Danse, nonsensical rambling about cracking him open and the paladin repaid those threats with his metal-plated fists. "Should we…?" Preston queried. Apparently neither of them needed to worry as Danse proceeded to shoulder check the mutant, forcing it backwards through the doors into the building.

"It's probably therapeutic for him. He really, really hates muties." Backhand couldn't help but still feel slightly concerned and she sighed. "C'mon, let's make sure he's not getting devoured."

…

Danse manhandled the beast through two walls until he found one sturdy enough for him to pin the mutant against. It squirmed and struggled against the iron grip he had on its throat, choking out more insane nonsense. "This is for Cutler, you freak ." Danse's voice cracked as he drew his fist back.

"You okay in here, Paladin?" Backhand's voice distracted him momentarily and the paladin paused. " Danse? "

His fist crushed the mutant's skull, sending bone and brain flying. Danse released the now-dead mutant, shaking his gauntlet and hissing at the pain. Inadvertently punching a wall was assuredly not his finest moment. "Yes, Knight Vega?" He called.

She carefully picked her way over the two piles of rubble that had previously been walls, her shotgun ready. Behind her came Preston, sweeping corners in a practiced manner. "Just making sure nothing happened. You know we're supposed to be sticking together." Her tone was playfully chiding, even though her eyes betrayed a startling level of concern.

"Figured I should grab the opportunity by the throat." Danse answered after a moment of silent contemplation.

To his credit, Preston did attempt to keep his laughter under control. Vega grinned at her snickering lieutenant, patting his shoulder and then squinting at Danse. "You better watch it, Paladin. I'll have you written up for bullheaded heroics or something."

"A fate worse than death." Danse replied dryly. "Though I'm afraid your report would fall on deaf ears."

"Too true. You would probably be promoted to...double paladin, or whatever the next rank is for you."

"Knight sergeant."

"What?! But paladin sounds way cooler!" Backhand protested indignantly while Preston started laughing all over again. "The whole point of moving up in the chain of command is to get a better name! Even I know that." She teased.

Danse felt like he was back on the Prydwen attempting to educate a mess hall full of squires. "Well, I could be promoted to star paladin. But that's very unlikely." He explained. "They are exceptionally rare, akin to sentinels."

" Star paladin?" Backhand looked like she was about to burst with curiosity.

"Yes. They are paladins who have been specially recognized for their dedication or ferocity in battle."

"Uh General, not to cut this short, but-" Preston began hurriedly, rechecking the levels on his undoubtedly finicky musket.

"Right, yeah, job to do."

Danse finally swung his rifle around, doing a quick run-through of all the switches before he turned on the tact-light, beautifully illuminating the dust his demolition-style entry had stirred up.

He proceeded deeper into the facility, purposely taking point despite his unarmored head. Preston flanked him on the left while Backhand walked drag, their footsteps all but silent in the wake of the larger man's sabatons. "Remain vigilant." Danse cautioned.

"D'you think there's anything else in here?" Preston whispered, "I feel like they would have come for us."

"I've actually been in here before, last time the basement was flooded and there were mirelurks," Backhand muttered. "I was doing a favor for those 'bots at Graygarden."

"No rest for the wicked when it comes to you, eh General?" Preston quipped.

"Listen, I feel like making friends with the agriculturally-inclined robots is definitely a good strategy." She reasoned. "After all, they can work around the clock and everything!"

Danse hushed the two of them, leading with the barrel of his rifle. The tact-light flickered as he continued their sweep, ears open for any signs of hostiles.

...

Backhand tapped at the compass of her Pip Boy, scrolling the compass display a full three hundred and sixty degrees. Her scroll jerked to a halt when two red ticks appeared, ahead and to the right.

"Bogey at two o'clock." She whispered. Danse nodded grimly and Preston flipped the crank over to prime his musket.

Now Backhand could actually hear sounds, an odd snuffling and scraping noise. A hound, maybe?

Danse clearly heard it as well, the man advancing into the next room and sweeping the corners with his rail-mounted flashlight.

Something skittered by just outside the light, vanishing into a gap in the crumbling wall. Danse wordlessly stormed forward and with one brutal motion he rammed his gauntlet through the plaster and heaved out--

A child?

The paladin froze, one large metal hand wrapped around the leg of the waif he had just forcibly extracted. The little boy screamed and flailed in Danse's hold, tiny fists beating a tattoo on the gauntlet that suspended him upside down in midair. He was filthy , clad in a dingy pair of overalls. He had a cut over his right eye, possibly from Danse's speedy removal.

For the barest, heartbreaking second, Backhand thought that it was Shaun. But no, no, she was imagining things.

"Whoa, easy there." She breathed, trying to get her heart to stop hammering. Danse still hadn't moved. "Hey, hey hey, look at me." She caught one of the child's arms, easily dodging the bite he aimed at her hand. " Easy big fella', we aren't going to hurt you." Backhand soothed, "you're okay. Were you hiding from the muties?"

"Big d-d-dog tried t-to eat m-m-me." The little boy hiccupped, changing his tune instantly and clinging to her arm as Danse carefully, carefully set him down. "H-Hid in the wall. M-My mama, she told me not t-to wander off, b-b-but it got dark and I g-got lost." he sobbed, rubbing his eyes.

Backhand reached into her satchel and pulled out Sergeant Cathan's 'lucky' bandanna. With gentle precision she wrapped it around the little boy's hand, knotting it at his wrist. "I need you to do me a favor, okay?" She asked seriously. "I need you to hold onto this bandanna for me. It's lucky, but only if you're holding it super tight. Can you make sure we stay lucky?"

The child frowned after a moment, sniffling and then gripping down on the bandanna. Backhand heaved a mental sigh of relief, thankful that the distraction tactic had worked. Sometimes she couldn't get her target to buy into the grift; it was always a gamble. Sergeant Cathan had taught her (long ago and far away now) the benefits of implication, suggestion and placebo effects on survivors. She had carried the 'lucky' bandanna since her honorable discharge, it being one of the few possessions she had refused to relinquish even while being sealed in cryogenic stasis. It made her feel a little warm inside to be able to use it's so-called powers for good once more.

" It doesn't have to be real. It doesn't have to be lucky, or important, or special in any way ." The sergeant had informed her when he explained the trick of distraction. " All it needs is belief, Backhand. That's it. If you can get them to believe in it, the hard part is already over ."

"Okay kiddo, how about we bring you back outside?" Preston cajoled gently with a smile. "You want something to eat?" The little boy nodded furiously, his eyes wide in the glow of Danse's rail-light. "Alright, take my hand. You're gonna' be just fine."

A loud howl echoed down the hallway and Danse jerked to attention, his rifle snapping upwards. "Go, get out!" He demanded Preston, "pick up the child and go! Knight Vega, on my six, now! " He barked.

Backhand thanked God that Preston was the type to help first and ask questions later, the young man easily scooping the little boy up in his arms and ducking out in the direction of the foyer. Danse shone his light back down the hallway, illuminating a hound so old its green skin had gone gunmetal gray. It sampled the air and bayed hoarsely, milky eyes staring ahead. It was ancient, obviously blind, possibly deaf-

Danse pulled his trigger once, and then a second time for good measure. Backhand noticed that his hands were shaking as he straightened up. He strode forward to the end of the hall, shoving the dog's body aside without so much as looking at it.

Backhand looked down at her compass, scrolling it this way and that. But it was empty, no signatures reading on it whatsoever. "Paladin, I think that's it." She said, holding her arm up so he could see her use the compass.

Danse nodded in an absent manner, still looking down the hall and running his light over the walls around him.

"We should get back outside. Make sure Preston and that kiddo are okay." Backhand suggested gently.

"I could have killed that child."

Ah . Backhand understood why his hands were trembling now. She let him carry on with his double-check, giving him the time he needed to decide whether he would say more.

"I...I could have…" Backhand heard him swallow, the noise loud in the silence. " Christ , Vega. I'm not setting a very good example for you, am I. We were almost killed by a behemoth due to my own inattention, I had to jettison my power armor, my helmet is unsalvageable , and I very nearly slaughtered a lost child."

"It's been a hell of a shakedown campaign." Backhand agreed, pushing the glasses up on her nose. "Imagine the trouble we could get into if we keep sticking together."

Danse's laughter was a grim bark of a noise, the paladin nodding his head ruefully. "Just imagine. If I keep up my trajectory, the Commonwealth will be in flames by tomorrow morning."

Backhand placed a wary hand on his gauntlet, fingers grazing the worn red-orange paint that denoted his rank. " Or it'll be a better place." She reasoned, patting his arm and turning on her heel. "Now, c'mon. We've got a little one to return to his parents." She urged, waving the paladin on.

Preston had made it safely outside, the man still cradling the child as Backhand emerged from the double doors onto the front steps of the establishment. He raised his brows in question.

"There was an old hound, probably too old to hunt anymore. Blind." Backhand explained, sliding her satchel around and digging through it until her fingers brushed the plastic-wrapped snack. "Ah, here we go. You must be hungry, right slugger?" She asked the little boy, extracting the snack cake from her bag and waving it to catch his attention. "How about you munch on this until we get back to Oberland, and then my friend Preston will see about finding your parents. That sound good to you?"

The boy nodded, still sniffling but eagerly accepting the pre-war confection.

"You still got that bandanna? I know you must have held onto it real tight, because that hound didn't even know we were there!" Backhand praised with a grin, thrilled when the child gave her a weak smile in return.

Danse emerged from the building, towering over the trio in his armor. "It seems that beast was the last holdout." He said finally, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Have you checked the child for injuries?"

The cut over the little boy's eye had already stopped bleeding, and aside from a few minor scrapes and bruises he appeared to be fine. Obviously his largest issues were being lost and hungry. Preston continued to hold the child while Backhand cleaned the dried blood off his forehead, well aware of the eyes trained on her. "There. You'll be just fine." She assured the boy, barely resisting the urge to kiss the bandage and instead kissing her fingertips to press against the bandage. After all, she wasn't this kid's mom.

"A-Are you the Minutemen?" The little boy asked after a moment of hesitation. "My papa said you guys help people."

"We are! Good guess." Preston praised, adjusting his hold on the kid so he could tip his hat. " There at a minute's notice , or that's the idea anyway."

"Let's move out. The sooner we get to Oberland, the sooner you can broadcast your APB on him." Vega adjusted her satchel and began carefully picking her way back through the flooded area, boots sloshing in the water. "What's your name, wall boy?"

"Matt." The child replied through a mouthful of cake. "Mat'ew Amadeus O'Brian."

Backhand blinked, a little stunned at the elaborate name that the kid had rattled off. "Well, Matthew Amadeus O'Brian , my name is Elizabeth Backhand Vega, and the nice man being your legs right now is Preston Garvey." She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, indicating the silent paladin who was bringing up the rear of their little party. "The big one is Paladin Danse."

"He's big," Matt repeated, watching the paladin narrowly before tacking on, "An' scary ."

"He's not really scary, but it's easy to think that." Backhand could almost feel Danse growing more and more tense. "He's sorry for surprising you earlier, I promise!"

Matt's eyes stayed suspiciously squinted at the paladin, the little boy continuing to inhale the snack cake. "Are you sure? " He asked in a stage whisper. "'Cuz he looks angry. Like how my papa looks when he says I'm bein' too os'servant ."

Preston snickered at that. "You must be real observant then, if your folks are scolding you for it."

Matt puffed out his chest a bit, stating proudly that, "My mama says I've got good eyes and nothin' between them. Then, she laughs."

Danse made a choking noise, the large man obviously attempting to stifle his mirth. "Your mother sounds immensely charitable." He remarked, a faint smile playing across his mouth.

The little boy looked befuddled for a moment, pursing his lips. "I 'unno what that means, but I love my mama. So that better not be somethin' nasty." Clearly, the child had recovered some of his original pep, no doubt aided by the copious amounts of sugar in that snack cake. "Otherwise I'll kick your butt."

"Whoa now, language." Preston chided gently.

"He started it!" Matthew protested, "callin' my mama some...carrot, carrotible ."

" Charitable . It means good, kind. Even when you don't have to be." Backhand laughed as she explained, watching the realization dawn on the kid.

"Oh. Okay then. That's fine." The child allowed, "as long as it's nothin' bad."

...

Danse wiped the sweat from his brow, hammering the last nail into place. There . With the metal scrap and lumber they had salvaged from the area surrounding the station, Danse actually managed to cobble together a half perimeter fence that was a bit more fortified than the old chain link lining the once-uniform garden. It wasn't anything incredible , but it wouldn't fall over at the next stiff breeze.

Upon their arrival, Knight Vega had sat Matt down by the old pump out front of the station and carefully scrubbed the rest of the child's face clean. The boy somehow managed to keep up a constant stream of chatter even as he was being scoured to within an inch of his life. Danse knew he ought to find it irritating, as his entire military career he had been taught that squires should be seen and not heard, but instead he found it oddly endearing.

Preston had eventually managed to raise the Castle (or rather, Fort Independence), the Minuteman relaying the information that they had acquired a precocious young man by the name of Matthew Amadeus O'Brian.

Preston and Backhand had kept busy in the aforementioned garden for most of the day, tearing up weeds and tilling the soil. The two had an easy rapport, going back and forth on a variety of topics. Matt occasionally chimed in around a mouthful of almost gone-by tato, the child more than eager to assist in the stripping and demolishing of the plants.

Danse had half-listened to their chatter while he engaged wholeheartedly in building the defenses up as best as he could, wanting desperately to make himself useful even as he soaked up the conversation. Agriculture had never been his strong suit. Coming from the Capital Wasteland, he was incredibly leery of any produce borne of the radiation-rich soil. He certainly didn't eat any of it without properly preparing it. This led to less adventurous but also less dangerous meals, the vegetables usually gray and tasteless from their time in the pot of his mess kit.

Danse took a step back to admire his handiwork. It had been too long since he was able to actually devote the time to a task that it required, instead of just smashing resources together and hoping they held. He knew it was technically a fence made out of the refuse of the area, nothing to be proud of, but he relished the opportunity to craft something useful.

He heard a low whistle from behind him and realized that Preston was looking up at the fortifications, a massive grin on his face. "Damn, we could have used you at the Castle!" The Minuteman commented, clapping a hand on Danse's shoulder. "You got the place squared away in half the time, color me impressed."

"Being able to find or create a defensible position is a necessary skill for field ops. You never know when you may need to bivouac in less than hospitable territory." Danse knew he must sound unbearably stiff, and he grimaced inwardly at his casual usage of the word bivouac . That had been something from Cutler's verbiage. "This wall should function optimally, but it can always be improved upon."

"I appreciate it. The Minutemen thank you for your assistance." Preston said warmly, his hand squeezing Danse's shoulder gently before he turned back towards the garden. "General, we should probably break for dinner! I know you two will be leavin' early tomorrow, wouldn't want you to be overtired." He called to Backhand, who tossed him a thumbs-up.

Danse opened his mouth, hesitated, and then carefully stated, "if we stay another day, I may be able to erect something for the lower side of the hill. It won't be as tall as this, but as it's the lower hillside, inhabitants will have a better chance of spotting the enemy and preparing."

Preston's eyebrows shot up. "You'd do that for us? I'd be incredibly grateful, I'll be honest. We're spread so thin, I'm probably only going to have one armed individual to assign to this outpost. Whatever help you can give-"

"Only one?" Danse looked at the copious tilled soil, his brow furrowed in thought. "You may have too many resources here for you to defend them with just one gun and a wall of scrap, Lieutenant Garvey."

"At the moment, the only resource is the water pump. I'm hopin' by the time the crops pop, we'll be a little fatter in our ranks. If not, well, I'm always up for extra field duty." Preston drew a finger along the brim of his large hat, sighing. "Nobody said it would be easy, y'know?"

Danse nodded. He knew overwell the disproportionate work load that a commander must shoulder in exchange for the safety and stability of their regiment.

After a hearty supper of some of the remaining tatos (safely over-stewed to within an inch of their lives), canned beans and fresh-last-week bread that Preston had brought with him, Danse took up his post along the defenses he had built. His armor creaked a little louder than normal, but he supposed that was to be expected after the beating it had taken.

Backhand had been quiet during their dinner. He assumed she was simply tired. He could hardly blame her; it had been a very eventful few days.

Danse bit his lip. He knew he ought to be rushing back to the Prydwen, but he felt an odd sense of responsibility for this new development. After all , he reasoned, what better way to win hearts and minds for the Brotherhood? Showing that they were benevolent, willing to work with existing factions regardless of their differences…

Well, at least Danse was at any rate. And with a little luck, his obviously-high rank would convince the battered survivors of post-apocalyptic New England that the whole of the Brotherhood was here to help.

Possibly in spite of Maxson's lofty aspirations for wiping out the Institute. What good was it to remove the proverbial boogeyman of the Commonwealth if the Brotherhood's resources were stripped from the campaign? The more prudent option would be to gain the trust of the locals, and then press them for support should the need arise.

That was all he was doing. Gaining the trust of the locals.

He glanced up at the light that wavered in the window of the towering station. He could imagine Knight Vega tucking the little boy in, maybe pressing a kiss to his forehead…

Danse's heart ached. She had lost her son, he recalled, though she hadn't said how . He couldn't even begin to imagine the agony of losing a child. Losing Cutler was devastating enough.

When Vega came out to relieve him at two hundred hours, Danse noted that she still looked worn. Her eyes were puffy, like she had been crying. "Tell me about what happened to your son, Knight." He requested quietly.

"That's...it's kind of a long story, Paladin." She tried to brush him off, fiddling with her combat armor straps. "You should sleep."

"That's an order, Knight."

Vega hiccupped, her sob rattling Danse's composure. "The Institute. They...they ripped him right out of my arms in the Vault." She whispered. "The stasis was put on hold, somehow , and they just...they took him. The next thing I knew, I was waking up alone." She stared at the ground. "I know it was the Institute. I know there's a way in. But I don't know...God, Danse, what if he's dead? " She asked helplessly.

Even though he hadn’t known, Danse still felt like a bastard for making her relive that horror. She had been so sure before, so certain that her child was alive. But now for whatever reason, she was entertaining the alternative and Danse was lost . What the hell could he even say?

"You didn't let me give up on Paladin Brandis." He pointed out. "So I'm not letting you give up on your son."

"Is that an order, sir?"

"A promise , Knight, not an order." Danse saluted her sharply, his gauntlet clattering on his breastplate. "As a Brotherhood of Steel paladin, I swear to you that I will do all I can to help uncover the truth of what happened to your son. And for as long as feasibly possible, we will operate under the assumption that he is alive and well. If we give in to despair, then they've already won."

Backhand looked up at him, her expression distraught. Danse didn't expect her to wrap her arms around his armor, the woman barely able to reach past his sides due to the bulky frame. She tucked her face against the handles on his breastplate and Danse was terrified of making the wrong move. So he stayed still, one massive gauntlet eventually moving forward to cautiously rest on her back.

"We will find him." He assured her softly. "I promise."

Part Seven

#fallout 4 #fallout four #paladin danse #paladin danse x sole survivor #paladin danse/sole survivor #paladin danse x f!sole #fallout #bethesda #video games #bos #brotherhood of steel #paladin danse imagine #fallout fandom #fo4 companions imagine #preston garvey #we stan a helpful paladin

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simple-heroics · 4 years

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Momo Yaoyorozu Fluff Alphabet | Part 2 | Letters M-Z

Guys, I love her so much. This took awhile to finish but here it is! Read Part 1 here.

credit to creator of the fluff alphabet prompt list here

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

In a word…yes.

However, Momo never dreamed of marriage as a little girl nor did she ever feel like she needed marriage - or any relationship - to be happy. She has her family, friends, a fulfilling career, tea, and other passions (i.e advocacy, fundraising, etc.) to keep her busy.

Momo doesn’t date to get married or because she’s lonely or needs another person to feel complete. She dates you because she loves you. She marries you because she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. (Oh, and the legal benefits. One of which is that threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime. Including pro heroes. Don’t fuck with Creati’s baby :) :) She will use every possible way to ruin a person’s life forever if they come after you.)

Basically, YOU make HER want to get married. And you bet your ass she’s gonna put a ring on that.

Forget about “stimulating the economy” and that trickle down economics bull shit. Momo is making your ring - a symbol of YOUR LOVE - herself, and only the best of the best for you. She spends hours researching designs, meanings of various gemstones, the durability of metals. All the “samples” she makes are a small fortune in and of herself.

When she proposes, Momo takes you to a botanical garden - the same one you both went to on one of your first dates. Literally rents the entire place out. While you walk around, you start to get nostalgic just as she hoped and reminisce.

Holding your hands, Momo talks about the first time she saw you, her favorite memories, how you’ve made her so happy. She tells you how you’ve changed her and helped her grow as a person, how everyday has been such a blessing.

Then she makes the ring, right then and there, for you. Softly, reverently, she asks, “Can we spend the rest of our days together like this?”

Marriage actually makes Momo much more comfortable with PDA. Whereas before she would only go as far holding your hand, now she presses loving kisses to your face and strokes your hair and is in general at least 20% more touchy. Marriage gives her a sense of security and - in a weird way - “propriety”. It’s one thing to lovey dovey with a datemate in public; it’s another to be affectionate with one’s spouse.

Oh, yeah. She loves the sound of it. Whenever your name comes up, it’s always “my spouse, y/n” or “y/n, my spouse”. It just makes her so giddy to say.

The feeling’s mutual of course. Anytime Creati is on TV, kicking ass or looking so pristine in an interview, you’re like:

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Momo is full of sweet, doting nicknames: darling, my love, dear, dearest, beloved. These are usually accompanied by a kiss on your hand or temple.

All in private, though. You’d have to take her by surprise with a sudden visit to the office or it’d have to be an intensely emotional situation for Momo to call you those sweet names in public.

But Momo doesn’t need to call you a pet name in public for people to know who you are to her. Just the soft, almost reverent way she says your name - practically cooing it - says it all. Everyone knows that you’re her darling even if she doesn’t outright call you it in public.

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Okay, so this is gonna be a little contradictory but…I see Momo as being both the most relaxed she’s ever been in her life and more focused than she’s ever been before.

You teach her that it’s okay to be herself and not this image of her “best self” she always has in her head. You make her feel safe enough to be let go of her perfectionism and accept her enough that she gradually drops one insecurity after another. She can be messy around you. She can be loud or quiet or giggly or grouchy or literally anything else. She’s just Momo with you.

Finally with some kind of outlet, the explicit permission to be free, it’s like watching an entire lifetime of tension slip away.

But….because you make her feel this, so happy and light and free, Momo is overwhelmed with gratitude and love that it kind of kicks itself in reverse. She has to be absolutely perfect for you.

And it can become a cycle. Not a great one, either. So please keep in check with each other and help balance yourselves out. Please. She just wants to make you the happiest person on earth which - in her view - is hard because you already do that for her.

Like I briefly touched on above and will even more so below, it’s Very Clear that Momo Yaoyorozu is in love. People who have known her for years have never seen her happier nor have her own colleagues ever seen her so…intense.

Because Momo has a very solid, very real reason to make it through missions waiting for her at home. She has a precious person to make the world a safer place for now. She was absolutely dedicated before but now? Now it’s personal.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Given Momo’s upbringing, the answer to most of these is no. Definitely not. Not only is Momo shy about PDA but she was taught that doing so is disrespectful to people around you and even your significant other. Japanese etiquette only affirms this. The most you can expect from your girl is holding hands or linking arms while you walk around.

That doesn’t mean Momo stops touching you in public. In fact, sometimes it’s like she can’t keep her hands off you but her affection is expressed in small, subtle touches disguised as helpful gestures.

Tucking your hair behind your ear, straightening your collar, dabbing the corner of your mouth, brushing imaginary lint off your shoulder.

As for bragging…Momo doesn’t necessarily “brag” about you. But she does talk about you. A lot.

Out with a friend? “S/o said hi!” Doing paperwork? “S/o got me this pen.” Eating dinner with a colleague? “I should bring s/o here.”

Momo absolutely adores you. Even though she doesn’t go shouting this to the word, it shines in the little things.

The biggest giveaway? The way she looks at you with those bright, shining gray eyes.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship. I just love this prompt for BNHA imagines.

Momo has a lot of secret talents that you’re always discovering at random. Her parents put a lot of thought and care into their only daughter’s upbringing, especially her education, and it shows. Your favorite so far?

Her dancing.

And it’s not like Ashido’s dancing or really many people your age. I am talking classical ballroom, mostly for the sake of those fancy banquets and soirees that the Yaoyorozus often attended. Momo knows how to elegantly through a ballroom as well as she does in the field.

But that’s not what you’re interested in. It’s the quiet, private part of your lives where’s it’s just the two of you in your home. No one else, no demanding tasks, no where to be. Just you and some lo-fi music.

Momo will gently take you in her arms and sway you around the room. And this is where you see her at her most relax, taking one of those skills hammered into her from a young age and just…letting go of all the rules. She makes it her own and just moves fluidly to the music, taking her with you.

Catch me when I swoon.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Extremely romantic! Didn’t I tell you that she’s doting? And affectionate? And absolutely mesmerized by you?

And looord, does she know how to treat you.

As she grew up without want for any tangible object in the world, Momo is not a gift giver. Love, to her, is expressed in the time you spend with a person. This leads to fun weekend trips, surprise visits on lunch breaks, concerts, you name it.

Momo always finds a way of incorporating a little personal touch into the most cliché of clichés and making them entirely your own thing.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

You have been nothing but supportive of her pro hero career - one that demands so much from Momo and by extension your relationship with her. And Momo is READY to support you in any way she can.

This girl legit researches and creates an entire long term plan on how you can achieve your goal, whatever it may be. School-related? Hello, Momo-sensei. Fitness goal? She goes to the gym and exercise with you, encouraging you the entire way. Artistic goal? Oh, what a coincidence. That random gallery owner happens to be a friend of her mother’s!

You maaaay have to pace her a little bit. She believes in you wholeheartedly but needs to be reminded that they’re your goals and you’re the one working towards them. Not necessarily you and your enthusiastic girlfriend.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Momo has a high risk job where people’s very lives are at stake. For god’s sake, she was thrown headfirst into danger in her first two weeks of high school with USJ incident and it’s just been one thing after another ever since.

Give her a routine. Give her that calming domestic bliss.

Seriously. It’s crucial for your relationship and Momo’s own mental health that she has some sort of routine with you. Routine is comforting; routine provides a sense of security and safety. For that, Momo sets some serious boundaries between her personal life - with you specifically - and work.

You won’t be going on skydiving dates or anything with Momo. But you will wish each other good night every night, whether you’re in each other’s arms in bed or phone when she’s away or even just text if she’s on a stakeout. It’s these little, consistent things that make your relationships so strong.

Understanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Part of the way Momo shows her love is learning you and everything about you. She’s spent hours dedicated to studying and now she studies you. It’s likely that she knows you better than you know yourself.

She knows everything about you: your favorite food, your hobbies, your goals, where you were born, who your best friend in high school was, everything.

She collects every piece of information about you, always listening and observing, and holds it close to her heart.

That said…and don’t hate me for this…but Momo isn’t the most empathetic person. Of course she’s kind and caring and an overall lovely person. But she is a person who follows things by steps, who uses logical thinking to predict people. Sometimes she gets so wrapped up in her line of thinking that she…misses out on the emotional side.

You’re probably the more empathetic person in this relationship, trusting your instincts and just letting yourself feel out situations while Momo tries to think her way through them. Both have their pros and cons, and it honestly teaches each of you a lot about each other.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Momo’s a busy woman. If she takes the time and energy to not only enter but maintain a relationship with you, you mean the absolute world to her.

And she reminds you of that every. single. day.

However…Momo is a selfless person. She gives a lot in the relationship and to you but to her, it’s not a necessity (close, though) but an indulgence. She sees herself as selfish for keeping you in her life, ever aware of the dangers of dating a high-ranking pro hero. She sometimes thinks of herself as selfish by staying with you, loving you, as she does.

Her worst fear is that you’ll suffer for her “selfishness” or be used against her in some way. Or worse still…that she’ll be forced into a situation where she’ll have to choose between you and her duty as a hero, between saving you or the public.

Even Momo doesn’t know which she would choose. She prays she’s never, ever put in the situation where she would have to make such a terrible choice.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

You know that one cool couple who is always hosting fun get-togethers with friends? Like, there are all of these monthly hang outs and yearly traditions that literally everyone in the squad looks forward to every year?

That’s you guys.

Momo LOVES playing hostess and you know how to have fun. Seriously, you’ve expanded Momo’s world beyond posh banquets and afternoon tea and she adores you for it. You host regular hot pots. Movie nights. Brunches. Beach days. White elephant parties. Every year there’s a cake baking competition with a golden whisk as the prize along with a full 365 days of bragging rights. (Bakugo, who didn’t even want to come, won it last year and will die before giving it up. Nobody cares who wins the golden whisk next year as long as it’s not that gremlin.)

Y’all know how to throw a party.

Probably of one the best things about this relationship is that you’re not in a “couple only” bubble. You cherish your other relationships, and it shows in how you often include others in your lives. :)

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Doting. Doting is the exact word that comes to mind when I think of Momo and affection. Almost immediately after meeting you, Momo was just so achingly fond of you and those feelings simmered for loooong while before the confession finally happened.

Now she just can’t help herself.

If she’s not playing with your hair, she kissing your fingers. If she’s not doing that, she’s hugging you. If it isn’t a hug, it’s a full on cuddle session where she kisses your face and holds your hand and murmurs sweet affections and -

Yeah. Momo restrains herself in public to subtle, sweet gestures but once your alone? She makes up for lost time.

Her favorite is leaving soft, delicate kisses on your temple after tucking your hair behind your ear and whispering how much she adores you.

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Momo keeps incredibly focused and on task at work. But as soon as it gets quiet and she’s alone…she yearns. She pines. She sighs. And she video chats you.

She does a very good job of staying in touch and communicating when you’re separated for any reason. Like I mentioned above, Momo always wishes you good night. And good morning. No matter what.

Please send Momo encouraging texts throughout her long, hard day. Please send her cute pictures. Please tell her love just because and tell her you can’t wait to see her again. It’s those little things that get her through missing you.

On a more angsty note…Momo worries about you. A lot. She has actual nightmares about something bad happening to you - being held hostage for ransom, a villain looking to get revenge against Creati, you getting caught up in a random public attack and her being unable to save you. These nightmares are at their worst when she’s away from you. The longer the separation, the more vivid and terrible they are. There have been times that she’s called you in the middle of the night just to hear your voice - the only thing that can calm her pounding heart and soothe her enough to go back to sleep.

So while she keeps in close constant because she does miss you a lot, Momo also does so to give herself some peace of mind. She needs to know you’re okay.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Y E S. Oh, my god, yes. Momo would do anything for you.

Sometimes, it honestly scares Momo how much she would do for you. She’s always been a dedicated person, a true perfectionist that approaches everything with well thought out strategy. She does things by steps. She’s the woman with a plan.

Then you came along and her whole universe imploded, forming a whole new one in the dust of her past and creating something new and unfamiliar and beautiful and terrifying.

So much so that even Momo doesn’t know her own limits anymore - not when it comes to you. She had lines before, boundaries, places she would not go. But with you? God only knows what she wouldn’t do for you.

Momo doesn’t like to linger too long on what kind of incredible, possibly terrible things she would do for you if pushed. But she promises herself that she’ll do everything in her power to keep it from coming to that.

#bnha imagines #bnha imagine blog #bnha headcanons #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero headcanons #momo yaoyozoru #yaoyorozu momo #yaomomo #momo yaoyorozu x reader #yaoyorozu momo x reader #yaoyorozu x reader #creati #fluff #fluff alphabet #with a bit of angst ngl

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iiigris · 3 years

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HAIKYUU. And uh, bnha :3

Wow my gosh I really didn’t answer this right away huh T-T nevertheless thanks Ari!! Hugs and kithes for you <3

send me a fandom!

Haikyuu:

Push off a cliff— first of all I would like to clarify that I would NEVER push someone off a cliff, certainly one of these characters I'm emotionally attached to 😭😭 But if my life depended on it?? I dunno I guess maybe I’d throw myself off the cliff instead and then I wouldn't have to decide hAHA

Set on fire— I DONT WANNA SET NO ONE ON FIRE EITHER SDNKNFH NOT MY PRECIOUS BOYS (I would roast Tsukishima though if we wanna pretend I'm good at sassy comebacks fkhgk)

Have a relationship with— you know me. I’m a simp for Tanaka Ryuunosuke through and through. But also Tendou because god dang it he stole my heart and I would spike a volleyball into my own face if it meant he was happy. AND ALSo Bokuto becauseee we’d be each other’s best friends and I just 🥺🥺🥺 Bokuto. (although ma’am you also said one time you ship me with Lev and I FORGOT ABOUT THAT TIL JUST NOW DLHFKG BUT HIM TOO) jeez either this is a reverse harem or I just date around omg 😭

Marry— i dont know i love everyone skhfkgj hELP- 😭😭 whoever proposes idk hdhgjg

Wrap a blanket around— Yamaguchi, Tendou, Hinata, Kageyama, Kenma, Nishinoya,,, idk I could keep going kfjkggj but IMAGINE BLANKET BURRITO YAMS EHDGHSGWAHHH 🥺🥺🥺 and you could have body slam competitions with Nishinoya LOL

Be roommates with— Akaashi!!! Or Asahi!!! Akaashi seems like he’d be a really nice roommate idk, like he’d be tidy enough not to leave his stuff everywhere and he could help you with homework if you wanted him to! Plus Bokito could come visit sometimes and we could all watch movies and snack binge ^^ And Asahi, we could sketch things together!! I haven't gotten to the epilogue(?? Is that what it’s called?? My brain’s not working rn skhfkf IDK WHEREVER IT IS WHERE YOU FIND OUT HE GOES INTO FASHION DESIGN) soi dont know exactly what it is he does but since we both kinda do design stuff we could share ideas and I could model things for him if he wanted, and we could encourage each other to go to bed at normal times so we dont need three cups of caffeine in the morning gsjfjh (or the total opposite and stay up to unholy hours doing things around the dorm and talking). I think we’d get along really well tho aaa I love him tho

Uh yikes that got pretty long so imma put this here for the other one-

BNHA:

Push off a cliff— Hawks, because he’d grab me on his way down and then he could take me flying with him >:D my first thought was Aoyama and my brain went ‘a FaLLiNg sTaR eHEhEhe’ I NEED TO SLEEP SKHFKGH

Set on fire— nobody. I dont wanna set anyone in this universe on fire either😭 mayyyybe some Nomu if I had to but gosh that would smell

Have a relationship with— listen I've had a crush on Iida since I started reading the manga two years ago and it has NOT subsided so despite the fact I dont really think he’d be a hugely romantic person? Or very physically affectionate at all? I’d still date him. Absolute gentleman. Also Mirio; idk I just fell super hard for him and he’s probably my favorite character. He’d be super fun in a relationship though, can you imagine

Marry— Mirio Togata PLEASE 🥺🥺

Wrap a blanket around— Amajiki, Eri, literally the entire Todoroki family (except maybe Endeavor bc he’s kinda scary and I still dont like him), Shigaraki (that trauma.. man I feel so bad for him. I just want to give him a hug but he would probably kill me 😔), Tsuyu, All Might, Fat Gum, Kirishima, dUDE I COULD GO ON BUT IM RUNNING OUT OF BLANKETS HERE

Be roommates with— there’s so many good options aaahh- maybe Jirou, bc we could do music stuff together and maybe she could teach me to play a new instrument or two :D Or Momo-YAO bc bOOKS!!! 🥺🥺 We could have books and tea together and she could help me with the homework I dont understand ^^

#still taking asks for this game btw! :D #eve's asks #ask game #ari 🖋

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luciehercndale · 4 years

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Like a brother

Good evening! Today I was feeling inspired so I wrote this quick one shot with James and Matthew as the protagonists. They are having a deep conversation about people they like, and James suspects his friend still likes his sister. Now... I know that Lucie is probably going to end up with Jesse because he’s still in this dimension even if he’s dead and he has a “Jem situation” but reversed (while Jem had to die and he could live only if he became a Silent Brother, Jesse has died but technically could live with some black magic or something, I guess), I can’t help but like the small moments with Lucie and Matthew we got. It’s clear that he really likes her, but Lucie is too innocent to notice, perhaps. I mean, she’s always seen him as a brother, but we never know if he might become something more. Well, it doesn’t help matters that Math has a lot of issues, but he and Lucie wouldn’t make a bad couple at all. I don’t know why, but she is the one that would make Matthew want to become a better human being and open up. Not that he isn’t, let’s be clear. Matthew is such a complex character and I just wish he’d get his happy ending. Since the trilogy is not completed yet, we can still wish for developments on this side. Until then, there is fan fiction...

Characters: James Herondale, Matthew Fairchild, Lucie Herondale Rating: T Title: Like a Brother

“You like her, huh?”

Matthew woke up from his reverie and looked at his friend James. James might not have been perfect, but in most things, he was. He was responsible, serious, loyal. He had only loved once until then, and he suspected James never went past the kiss stage with the people he fancied.

He didn’t hate James because he was easily liked by other people. On the other hand, he loved him. Not like you loved a lover, more like a brother. James was half of his soul, he had what he missed. He was his parabatai, indeed. And James knew that there was something behind the surface and the eccentric clothes. He loved those clothes, of course. But they were also his armor, his defense. Because Matthew was aware that he did not let many people in. And if he did, it just meant that he trusted them with his life or he was too drunk to think clear.

“Who?” Matthew wondered, looking confused. “Cordelia?”

James sighed and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. To Matthew, it just meant that he was trying to reassure him. “No, absolutely not” he answered with decision, looking away for a moment.

“Did you just blush?”

James was startled for a moment, as if he had been caught stealing his father’s Port, but then schooled his expression so it wouldn’t seem so. “Did you just try to change the topic?” He inquired, as smart as a fox. “You don’t have to answer, if you want.”

Did he want to answer? He wasn’t sure. “Why don’t we both answer?” He proposed, smirking. “To be fair, you know.”

James shook his head and put a hand on his forehead before he answered. His eyes were closed. “Ok, then I’ll go first. As always”, he said, still not looking at his friend. “Yes.”

“Yes, what? You like Cordelia?”

“Yes” he murmured, then opened his eyes abruptly and shook his head again. “No!”

Matthew was amused and laughed. James looked hurt and embarrassed. “I’m not laughing at you, Jamie. Never. You’re precious… I guess that’s how love changes you. It makes you mushy. I mean, when a person is in love, they soften. The love they feel makes them see the world with different eyes, and the things they probably loathed, less hated than before. I’m happy for you, but I don’t want to become soft.”

“You don’t want to love anybody?” James wondered, interested in his friend’s reply. He always worried about Matthew because he thought he was capable of giving a great deal of love and affection to people, but somehow, he was scared. He was scared to love, perhaps.

Matthew glanced at his hands, suddenly interested in his nails. “Love. What a fragile word. Love can break you or make you whole, depending on how you look at it. As for me, I don’t want to be whole. I like to be broken. I like to give pieces of myself to many people but actually never give them any part of me for real.”

“What if you find a person you love?”

“James. It’s enough for me that you love me. The rest of the world can burn down and I wouldn’t care,” he admitted, his voice with a tint of sadness.

“Not even Lucie?” James wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Matthew was frowning. “What about her?”

James put his hand on his parabatai’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Lucie loves you and you know it.”

“Like a brother” Matthew replied, and he seemed bitter. He was betraying his emotions. He had to stop.

James shrugged. “We grew up together and we are in that phase of life between adolescence and adulthood, which means that we are still changing. We are maturing, and we could change perspective,” he said. “Lucie is a smart girl. She hasn’t ever been in love before and she doesn’t know what love looks like. Sooner, perhaps…”

Matthew understood him perfectly. “I love how you always have the right words, bach.”

“Now you sound like my father,” he admitted, and they both laughed. “Seriously.”

“I don’t take that as an insult,” Matthew smirked. “I always admired your father.”

“You better,” James patted his back, then pulled him closer for a man-hug. It was rare for them to embrace, but James knew that his friend needed his affection more than he needed air. It was clear to him that Matthew used alcohol to cope, and he wished he would lean more on his shoulder rather than drown himself in drinks. “I love you, Math. Never forget it.”

Matthew hadn’t still gotten used to James opening his heart to him and telling he loved him as if he was greeting him. This was another thing he appreciated of James. He loved intensely, and he could feel his parabatai’s affection on himself. Had he been braver…

“By the angel, close the door next time,” a voice came from the threshold.

James and Matthew separated and smiled at each other, then looked at the intruder. “Want to join?” Asked Matthew, but then he sorts of regretted it.

Lucie’s mouth fell open and she shook her head. “I’m not into these things, Math” she glanced away. “I’m not you.”

James saw Matthew’s face crack for a second. His sister hurt him. Her words weren’t laced with disgust, but he knew they hurt either way. That was the proof that his best friend loved someone, indeed.

“You don’t even want to hug me?” James demanded, smiling.

“I’m not in the mood for hugs, brother” she sighed and crossed her arms on her stomach. She was dressed in training gear. “Cordelia is here to train with me. Do you want to join?”

The boys looked at each other and then James declared, “I’ll lend you one of my training gears, Fairchild. I know how much you don’t want to ruin your clothes.”

He nodded. “All right, I’m in.”

“I’ll wait for you upstairs,” Lucie smiled at her brother and her friend and then she walked away.

They both looked at her tiny frame turn around and disappear in the corridor. Matthew was smirking now, and he seemed a little hopeful than before. Maybe the person he liked still didn’t feel the same way he did, but for the moment wasn’t enough that he could still see her and talk to her?

“Come on, let’s get changed,” James hurried him, and the day seemed a bit better. And he still hadn’t had a drink yet that day. He wished it could be that way all the time.

#chain of gold #cassandra clare #the last hours #matthew fairchild #james herondale #lucie herondale #fan fiction #lucie and matthew #james and matthew #my edits #tweety writes

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thecandywrites · 4 years

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Orctober- Winter Formal and New Years

Ok, at the demand of absolutely no-one, I made a part 2 to my Fall Formal piece because dang it, I wanted more so I made more and this gets into my headcanons about modern orcs A LOT. LIke, A LOT. So I have the headcanon that orcs would treat the new year and then the reaping, which according to @momolady was in the spring, I thought (assumed) it was in the fall because, well, that’s when you usually reap your crops when you’re gardening, but whatever, I don’t care either way but those two events are some of the bigger “holidays” orcs would celebrate. And in my other headcanon that orcs LOVE SPICY FOOD. Like they would so eat jerk chicken, hot pot and well just any dish with lots of spice, lots of flavor and for me, hot pot is quitessentially like hot spicy person’s dream food. Because you eat it communally which orcs are all about their family and their clans and to me that just makes a lot of sense and please don’t think I’m trying to make any racial or ethnic slights in any way one way or another, this purely fantasy and conjecture at this point. So I started writing this at like 9pm last night and I of course- ran out of time and conciousness but it’s still the first for a few more hours and dang it, it’s gonna count. Thanks for reading. Also because I’m a lemon flavored factory there’s some smut at the end. Just...heads up.

Orctober- Winter Formal and New Years

Even though you had graduated early and had even started your higher education to be a medical massage therapist, you returned to your highschool for the honor of going with your boyfriend, Kihro to the winter formal which coincidentally was Kihro’s also last school function because he had taken your cue of graduating early and did so himself since his on the job training also counted for credits and cashed those in so he could get a head start on working full time at the sister branch of Wright Plumbing. And ever since your last hospital stay, you and him had been rather inseparable and had been going steady. It helped that you were friends and had that to build your romantic relationship on.

You had only started your massage school a week before and thankfully you still got to wear the dress you were going to wear to the fall formal, only this time- neither of you were really that stressed out this time around, instead both of you were so happy and excited and anyone who didn’t know you two were now an item definitely knew now and both of you felt like adults with both of you being out of highschool and in your chosen careers full time.

“Happy to be out?” Kihro asked as you both swayed to the music on the dance floor, the rest of world falling away except for just the two of you.

“Yes, you have no idea. I hope this is the last time we’re in this building, well besides maybe prom and maybe graduation- which I don’t know if I even want to come for those unless you wanted to go to those.” You admitted.

“Well, now that I’m out, I really don’t want to come back just for those either unless you really wanted to go to those but I could be making money on those days instead if you didn’t want to go.” Kihro confessed.

“Did you want to go?” Kihro asked you bluntly.

“To Prom? I wouldn’t mind, but to graduation? Eh.” You shrugged your shoulders. “I wouldn’t mind just waiting to see where we’re at then and cross that bridge when we get there.” You offered as Kihro nodded in agreement.

“By the way, I wanted to tell you that next month, after I turn 18 and can rent from whoever, I wanted you to come apartment shopping with me.” Kihro invited since legally orcs were considered adults at 16 and could drink and buy liquor that young and even could choose to graduate early at 16 if they had a job lined up that would give them the required credits and could even move out and rent from other orcs while others required their young ones to be 18 before they were considered adults and do all of that although more and more orcs were choosing not only to stay in school the extra two years, but get their own higher education too before they went out into the work force.

“Aww, that’s very sweet and I would love to but you know there’s no way in hell my dad would let me go to live with you before we got married, but it would make me really happy if you had a home to bring me to if that were to ever happen, even if it’s a little one room apartment, that will allow pets because I’m not leaving home without Kelly or Duchess.” You reminded him.

“I know, I’ve been keeping that in mind as I scope some places out, trying to keep your school and my work in mind. But the more I dance with you, the more I realize that I really, really don’t want to dance with anyone but you- for the rest of my life.” Kihro confessed before he pulled a gold bead out of his pocket and placed it in your hand and you knew enough about the orc bead culture now that you knew what this bead was and more importantly what it meant.

Orcs gave each other beads all the time between friends and family- some of them were cheap metal or wood, or stone or semiprecious stone and there were millions of glass beads that had an array of meaning and tradition because now that everyone lived in a more “civilized” world- beads didn’t always have to be so tough that they could last through wars and raids, now they could be more delicate, intricate and beautiful and the wearer could afford to be more careful with their display.

But gold- or any precious metal for that matter, that was reserved for very serious relationships, and usually engagements or weddings. And they kept the gold beads behind glass at the counter at the bead stores and they had levels to them, they had the cheap, flashy gold or silver plated ones with crystals and rhinestones and usually just about the time the plating would come off or tarnish- the relationship would probably fall apart and usually orc kids in elementary school or middle school bought them, but then after that, they got really simple in design, but solid gold and in your opinion- a bit more dignified and discreet and from there- then they could get crazy again, this time- real precious stones inlaid into them and could cost as much as engagement rings could and were just as varied and to orcs- just as serious as engagement rings. Your jaw dropped at how beautiful it was as you stopped dancing to look at it closer before Kihro pulled both of you off the dancefloor so you didn’t get run over as you got to look at it in better light before you realized there was beautiful pave diamonds in the delicate and intricate gold carving. He must have dropped a fortune on it as you turned it in your small delicate fingers and you could see that it was real 24 karat gold according to the stamp at the base and it was heavy, just like solid gold should be.

“Are you- are you proposing to me?” You had to ask as you were so touched your eyes started to water but you couldn’t stop smiling.

“Well, yes and no, yes in that this is exactly what it looks like and no in that it’s not an “engagement ring” engagement ring which when the time is right, I’ll get one for you because I don’t think that’ll fly yet at least with your parents, but think of it like a promise ring, but in a bead and it’ll hopefully remind anyone and everyone that sees it on you- that you’re at least spoken for- if you want to be.” Kihro explained, his own heart hammering in his chest and in his ears louder than the beat to the music because the more he was around you the more hopelessly in love he fell in with you and he needed to make good on his promises to himself that he would always take care of you and protect you and do whatever it took to make you happy.

“I definitely want to be spoken for, especially by you.” You beamed happily before you happily jumped up on your tiptoes and kissed him as he welcomed it with open arms.

“I love you Brie,” Kihro professed as he pressed his forehead to yours as you did the same.

“I love you too Kihro.” You mirrored, meaning every word before you had him put it with the others. One of which was actually his to signify that you two were officially dating because again in orc culture- the intended mate got a stack of their pursuers beads presented to them and the intended got to pick out their favorite and wear it in their hair and it was not unusual for them to trade beads so that most orc men wore one feminine bead or even a gender fluid or gender neutral bead with their masculine ones to show that they were in a relationship with whoever while others did the reverse with their chosen gender.

A couple of weeks later you were at a proper New Year’s Eve party- orc style where Kihro’s family had made a feast for themselves that they brought to the clan’s Hall where everything that happened within the clan took place as you watched as all the tables had special metal pits in them to hold charcoal fire pits with a huge fire in the middle of the hall to get the briquets burning and the pots of broth and everyone brought their own feast but also gave to the clan’s “hoard” of food at the front where huge refrigerators were to keep things cold- in case anyone ran out of food or needed food or simply wanted to try something they didn’t bring and you gladly donated a few 5lb bags of shrimp to which made Kihro and his family happy and proud of you for your generosity.

The feast signified that the next year would be even more prosperous than the last as you pigged out on dumplings and king crab since your dad had “blessed” your relationship by not arguing or making a big fuss over your gold bead and now- he made sure to send you with a huge box of king crab- which was your favorite kind of crab along with a few bags of shrimp that were the size of langoustine lobsters and smoked salmon and some crawfish along with a cooler full of beer and specialty flavored moonshine that you and your dad flavored yourselves since the Soche’s were providing everything else including chipping in to get the clan a keg for the festivities, many families doing the same so that there were just as many kegs of beer as there were families, many of them seemingly to drink their weight in beer alone.

The Soche’s also provided all the noodles, hand made and homemade dumplings which you had come over to Kihro’s house every day for the last few days to help get everything prepped as Rhiox and Kihro were beyond pleased that you helped and because of your small nimble fingers, all the dumplings were folded beautifully, the different folds differentiating the fillings. The family also provided vegetables and beef and other meats for their family’s feast, most of them sliced thin so that it cooked in the spicy broth quickly or thick steaks cooked over charcoal fires in the tables themselves next to the hot pots since his clan’s tradition was have a huge communal hot pot gathering and cook out, but because of your delicate system, his mother made a special broth just for you that was flavorful but not nearly as spicy which you were eternally grateful for and even Kihro and his younger siblings enjoyed it and one of the traditions was that you sent the first bowl to the clan’s elders to pay homage and respect to them as they all sat at one table next to the “hoard”, none of them having to cook, but got served by the clan as a whole as you placed the bowl full of your own broth and other meats and vegitables in front of Kihro’s grandparents who were part of the clan’s elders.

His whole clan seemed to be beyond pleased that it was Kihro who had claimed you even though Kihro was embarrassed by that and had made sure that you understood that who you were as a person was all he cared about and what family you were from didn’t have a bearing on how he felt about you which made you happy and your face hurt from smiling so much and you eventually got used to everyone coming up to congratulate you when they saw the gold bead in your hair that Kihro and Rhiox had braided your hair spectacularly just for this occasion and you were happy that you at least got a huge orc sized bib to cover your clothes because of the hands on nature of this feast and of course you were happy to drink a really good chocolate mocha caramel cream stout with your meal because orcs loved to drink- beers especially and even though you weren’t fond of beer- this one- you made an exception for and greasy spicy kisses with Kihro were especially delicious from your spot practically in his lap because the special picnic tables were huge to accommodate orcs so because of that, there was enough room on the bench itself to sit between Kihro’s legs and leaned back into him and he was able to rest his head on top of yours, careful not to get any food in your hair as he ate one handed, the other arm wrapped around your waist possessively as his dad Kidron tended to the grill part of the feast while Rhriox made sure to feed Kihro’s yonger siblings who adored you.

Also because of your close proximity, you could feel how hard Kihro was, his cock tucked into his right pant leg as you “practiced” your effleurage and other techniques on his legs in between eating as his hand splayed over your belly under your apron sized bib that covered most of you like a blanket from your neck down as his fingertips ever so amazingly teased your slit through the fabric of your leggings and it was hard yet easy for both of you to act nonchalant and innocent and it was easy to brush off your flushed cheeks on the beer and the spice and it wasn’t until his parents and his younger siblings broke off to catch up with the other members of the clan that you and Kihro snuck away to the roof to “cool off” after he had gone to the bathroom to wash his hands extra good before he brought you up to the roof you happily got inside Kihro’s huge coat with him to stay warm in the freezing temperatures, the snow continuing to fall in big fluffly flakes, your head popping out of his collar as you literally sat on his lap this time as he sat down on one of the benches before he shoved his hand down your pants to find your still drenched pussy aching for him before he fingered you because you weren’t on any birth control but he wanted to prove that at least he could please you without his cock, even if it was just through his fingers which thankfully didn’t compromise your maidenhood as his other hand greedily grasped your breasts as he managed to kiss, lick and nip at your neck and shoulder as you plowed your head back and let it rest on his shoulder as you in turn pulled his length out and it squeezed in between your upper thighs and outer lips before it would poke out your front where your hand eagerly awaited the head to stroke it in time with your pelvis grinding the top of it and it was the closest you could get to the real thing.

“Kihro,” you panted desperately in a hushed whisper as his touches were sending you over the moon and all you got back was a growling snarl by your ear as he playfully yet softly bit down on your shoulder as he twisted your nipple between his fingers while his other fingers pinched your nub before his middle finger dove into your center to tap and rub at your G-spot and you grinded on his hand while your own hands squeezed around his length and pinched the head, his precum completely coating your hands and dripping down to your own lap as Kihro moved his own hips in sync with yours and because you were both pressed for time because you didn’t want to get caught, it only heightened your arousal and in no time at all, you came, another keening muffuled cry of Kihro’s name inside his coat as your core constricted and fluttered around Kihro’s finger which spurned him to shoot out a load so huge you couldn’t hold it in both of your hands and you had to quickly try to throw it out of the warm cocoon of his coat onto the snow around you so it wouldn’t get on either of you before you wiped your hands off on the snow on the bench on either side of you as Kihro recovered as you felt his sweat make his chest and your back that was pressed up against him wet.

“Damn.” He grunted before he pressed soft and sweet kisses into your neck and shoulder before he helped put you back together and get your bra back in place and your underwear and leggings back into place before he got himself put away and once you were straightened up he wrapped his arms tight around you to hug you and kiss your cheek before you turned your head to really kiss him over your shoulder.

“I love you so much, thank you,” he thanked you earnestly.

“I love you too, and thank you, ending this year with a bang and starting the next one off right.” You giggled before you checked the time on your phone.

“We should get back,” you urged before he reluctantly let you go and you both had to hide the “evidence” in the rest of the snow as you made a butt print on the bench next to Kirho so that it looked like you were sitting side by side before you went down stairs, passing another couple coming into the building as they were coming out and judging by their own giddyness, were probably about to do the same or probably even more than what you and Kihro just did which made Kihro and yourself burst into laughter once you got inside to warm back up for a few minutes, all of you watching the ball drop on the huge tv’s on the inside counting down before kissing Kihro once more when it was the new year and oh so happy that it all started with a boy, asking a girl to a dance.

#modern orc love story #modern orcs #orc #orcs #Winter Formal #New Years

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pinstrpe-blog · 5 years

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doctor who sentence meme tenth doctor, season 2. part i.

there was something i had to tell you. something important.

they'd dissect him.

one bottle of his blood could change the future of the human race.

-- anything else he's got two of?

i keep forgetting he's not human.

the big question is, where did you get a pair of men's pyjamas from?

what d'you need? 20 quid?

surprised you don't give up on me.

what if he's dying?

what are you babbling about?

no! leave him! just leave him!

what kind of rubbish were they?

you woke me up too soon.

painkillers? do you need aspirin? codeine? paracetamol? pepto-bismol? liquid paraffin? vitamin c? vitamin d? vitamin e? is it food? something simple?

i need you to shut up!

why's there an apple in my dressing gown?

something's coming.

is it true you completely lost contact earlier tonight?

they’re scavengers, like he said. harmless. they're tiny. but the little fish swim alongside the big fish.

the face of an alien life was transmitted live tonight on bbc one.

the human race has been shown absolute proof that alien life exists.

i'm not used to having a right-hand man. i quite like it, though.

i don't suppose there is any chance it was a hoax?

you seem to be talking about aliens as a matter of fact.

you will surrender or they will die.

tell them this planet is armed, and we do not surrender.

you really love him, don't you?

if anyone knows him - if anyone can find him... the situation has never been more desperate.

will the leader of this world stand forward?

you will surrender or i will release the final curse.

that man was your prisoner!

here we go, nice cup of tea.

it's like we're having a picnic while the world comes to an end.

now leave this planet in peace!

did you think you were clever with your stolen words?

if you are the best your planet can offer as a champion, then your world will be gutted and your people enslaved.

did you miss me?

you could have someone's eye out with that!

blimey, it's like 'this is your life'.

tea! that's all i needed, a good cup of tea!

be honest... how do i look?

and you - fat lot of good you were!

i demand to know who you are!

how am i going to react when i see this? a great big threatening button... A Great Big Threatening Button Which Must Not Be Pressed Under Any Circumstances, am i right?

oh, i haven't seen blood control for years!

you can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken, but you can't hypnotise them to death.

survival instinct's too strong.

am i right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?

leave this planet, and never return.

not bad for a man in his jim-jams.

no second chances. i'm that sort of man.

that was murder.

that was defence.

i gave them the wrong warning - i should've told them to run. as fast as they can. run and hide.

don't challenge me, 'cause i'm a completely new man.

i could bring down your government with a single word.

you're the most remarkable man i've ever met, but i don't think you're quite capable of that.

don't you think she looks tired?

is it true you're not longer fit to be in position?

no denying the existence of aliens now. everyone saw it.

so where are we gonna go first?

i'll never get used to this. never.

can i just say... travelling with you? i love it!

that was our first date. we had chips.

someone wants to see me.

i can't help it, i don't like hospitals. they give me the creeps.

i thought this far in the future, they'd have cured everything.

the human race moves on... so do viruses.

a lifetime of charity and abstinence and it ends like this.

i like impossible.

he's not even a proper life form - he's a force-grown clone.

that was the las time anyone told me i was beautiful.

well, you've got a knack for survival, i'll give you that.

you must be joking if you think i'm coming anywhere near you.

am i the only visitor?

it's happened again. one of the patients is conscious.

never trust a nun, never trust a nurse, and never trust a cat.

if they've got the best medicine in the world, why is it such a secret?

why would they hide a whole department?

they've built the ultimate research laboratory - a human farm.

when you took your vows, did you agree to this?

if they live because of this, then life is pointless.

if you want to take it to a higher authority, there isn't one.

i'm being very, very calm - you want to beware of that - very, very calm.

the only reason i'm being so very, very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing.

whatever you've done to [name's] head, i want it reversed.

you caused the pain.

one touch and you get every disease in the world!

we're trapped!

oh, baby, i'm beating out a samba!

you've been looking... you like it!

god, it was tedious inside your head!

you have destroyed everything!

if we'd been touched, we'd be dead.

okay, fine. i have to stop you lot as well. suits me.

if you've so desperate to stay alive, why don't you live a little?

you're completely mad! i can see why she likes you.

you can't deny them, 'cause you helped create them.

the human race just keeps going on. keeps on changing.

there are better things to do today. dying can wait.

that is textbook enigmatic.

you've lived long enough.

i'm dying, but that's fine.

you look beautiful.

you're not welcome here and especially not today.

if you won't stand aside, we'll take it by force.

nearly took off my thumb - and i like my thumb.

you'll explain your presence and the nakedness of this girl.

my apologies for being so naked.

there's people out to kill you?

i'm used to staring down the barrel of a gun.

we'd better get moving. it's almost nightfall.

there are stories of wolves in these parts.

it's funny, 'cause you say assassination and you just think of kennedy and stuff.

i can't do this. it's treason.

you heard the orders!

to be honest, most of us thought him... shall we say, eccentric.

am i being rude again?

we shall dine at 7, and talk some more of this wolf.

after all, there is a full moon tonight.

there's more people arrived downstairs - they can help us.

he must be drugged or something.

i know you rarely get the chance to dine with me, but don't get too excited.

you promised us a tale of nightmares.

that's the charm of a ghost story, isn't it? not the scares and the chills - that's just for children - but the hope of some contact with the great beyond.

the dead stay silent.

they said if we scream or shout, then he will slaughter us.

don't enrage him.

why would i leave this place?

there's something of the wolf about you.

what if they had a different reason for wanting the story kept quiet?

i demand to know your intention!

i'm telling you, i will sleep well tonight with that thing's hide upon my wall.

the front door's no good, it's blocked.

you'll have to leg it out of a window.

i went to look for the property - it was taken.

you want weapons? we're in a library. books - best weapons in the world.

there's no sound of the wolf...

i would destroy myself, rather than let that creature infect me.

i ask only that you might find some place of safekeeping for something far older and more precious than myself.

is that the koh-i-noor?

it is said that whoever owns it must surely die.

they say it's worth the wages of the entire planet for a whole week.

there's a lot of unfinished business here!

what if there's a trap inside the trap?

now get back downstairs. keep yourself safe.

i committed treason for you. but now i will be remembered with honour.

you're 70% water and you can still drown.

they're never gonna believe this back home!

your world is steeped in terror, and blasphemy, and death, and i will not allow it.

you will reflect, i hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you may survive this terrible life.

maybe haemophilia's just a victorian euphemism for werewolf.

i propose an institute to investigate these strange happenings, and to fight them.

#rp sentence meme #rp meme #sentence meme #rp prompt #rp sentence starters #meme.

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nextstarblazers · 6 years

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EPISODE 13

“My home! Mother! Father! Mother! They were gonna meet me here at the bus stop! Where are they? Mom, dad!” - Derek Wildstar

The next episode of STAR BLAZERS didn’t make all that much of an impact on me when I was a younger viewer, but it is absolutely chilling as an adult, even with all of the editing that was done to it. It’s an episode that captures the real-world pain experienced by the animators who made it, and contains a number of sequences that I’m surprised made it onto American airwaves in what was marketed as a children’s cartoon. For all that it pulls the worst of its punches, it still hits like a ton of bricks.

There are a whole string of episodes right here in the middle of the first YAMATO series whose content wound up being blunted and neutered quite a bit by the differences in broadcast standards between the United States and Japan. Consequently, many of these episodes are largely treated by American fans as being filler between the big, satisfying battles–whereas in reality, they are among the most satisfying installments in the canon, at least before they were tampered with.

This particular episode starts off with an unrelated prologue, in which Leader Desslok is called away from a relaxing soak to award a medal to one of his front-line generals, Lysis. Lysis tells Desslok that he’s heard about the Earth ship encroaching on Gamilon territory, and he asks for the honor of being allowed to destroy it. He’s to be the next recurring enemy that the Star Force will face over multiple episodes, and he’s instantly painted as far more formidable and dangerous than the late Colonel Ganz.

Meanwhile, for no readily apparent reason, Wildstar, Conroy and the Black Tiger squadron is flying a scouting patrol ahead of the Argo. They come across a Gamilon patrol and engage the enemy in combat. This winds up being another underwhelming space dogfight, especially to viewers who were fresh from STAR WARS, but it was still a step up from the previous one in Episode 4. During the skirmish, one of the Gamilon planes is damaged but not destroyed, and Conroy lines up a killing shot (”If I do get him, Wildstar, it’s one less we’ll have to fight tomorrow!”) But Wildstar has a different idea, and he and Conroy shoot tethers onto the crippled Gamilon fighter, towing it back to the Argo.

In the fighter bay, everybody is excited about the prospect of seeing just what a Gamilon really looks like (”I wonder what those Gamilons are really like!” opined Eager, “I guess judging from their advanced science, they must be extremely intelligent creatures!”) no one more so than Doctor Sane, who’ll be conducting the examination. Everybody seems to have forgotten about Episode 6, where Wildstar, Nova and IQ-9 got an up close look at a Gamilon soldier. But that guy wound up buried in an ice slide on Titan, so this is really the first opportunity anybody on the Star Force has had to speak with or study an actual Gamilon.

STAR BLAZERS tries mightily to disguise the fact that, as Doctor Sane makes his examination of the enemy pilot and the crew watches from the observation deck, Derek Wildstar is growing more and more agitated–to the point where he races downstairs and breaks into the examining room. This whole sequence is heavily edited from YAMATO, in which Wildstar doesn’t just jump at the guy, but rather grabs a knife from Doctor Sane’s tools and attempt to out and out kill the helpless prisoner. Wildstar is suffering from post-traumatic stress, and we’re about to find out why.

The episode segues into a flashback to the events of seven years earlier, at the start of the Earth’s war with Gamilon (and it’s pretty incredible that they whole affair lasted for seven years, given the technological superiority of the Gamilon forces, to say nothing of their eventually-revealed need to emigrate to Earth.) Again here, STAR BLAZERS needs to take some liberties, because this extended flashback clearly takes place in Japan, in the traditional Japanese home of Wildstar and his family. All sorts of cuts and trims needed to be made to transform the place into the location-neutral “Great Island.”

The sequence opens with Derek and his unnamed mother meeting his older brother Alex at the bus stop, as Alex is returning home for leave from Cadet School. At home, friends and family gather, and Alex is peppered with questions concerning reports of interplanetary bombings that are beginning to spread. The older Wildstar sibling hasn’t got any better intel to provide to his family. (Sequences of the gathering dancing traditional Japanese dances and eating in the style of the culture were all excised.) Derek himself is shown to be a sensitive and emotional child, who is a bit jealous of all of the attention being lavished upon his elder sibling.

That evening, “Great Island” is bombed, awakening both Derek and Alex and causing the latter to be called back to his post. These sequences are plainly very visceral for the Japanese animators who are crafting them, working out the complex emotions of the only civilization to have had an actual Atomic Warhead detonated upon its cities. Again, STAR BLAZERS softens all of this in tone, but even the footage that remains is quite powerful and chilling when viewed with knowledgeable eyes. Also affecting is the scenes of the devastation left in the wake of the bombing, and the manner in which the citizenry pull together to help one another out during these difficult times, a reflection no doubt of the true experiences of the Japanese.

Things grow more dire as the Earth in total, and Great Island in particular, is bombed many times. Construction begins on the underground cities that the survivors will relocate to, enormous city-sized bomb shelters situated deep below the surface of the Earth. But building them takes time, and the population rows ever more panicked and fearful about its survival.

Derek visits Alex at his base, bringing his older brother a Bento lunch that their mother had made for him. (STAR BLAZERS has Alex call it “chocolate cake” even though it is fairly clearly sushi and rice balls–sushi hadn’t quite come over from Japan yet at the time when STAR BLAZERS first aired.) Derek is a scared kid, and he rejects Alex’s encouragement that he should go into the armed forces. “Oh, I forgot,” the senior Wildstar says, “My little brother doesn’t believe in fighting.” This is worlds away from the Wildstar that we have witnessed throughout the first half of the series, who can hardly restrain himself when the opportunity arises to lay the smackdown on some Gamilon attackers.

Back at home, Derek’s mother and father head out to the bus stop to meet his returning bus. Along the way, they share a lovely little story about their proposal of marriage, one that serves to humanize them both a bit (despite the fact that neither of them is given a name.) Wildstar’s mother muses that it’s still a lovely place, despite all of the surrounding devastation. But Derek has missed his bus home, and so mom and dad are still standing at the bus stop when a planet bomb lands practically on top of them, vaporizing the both of them almost instantly.

Again here, STAR BLAZERS cuts the actual moment of impact–which is a good thing, as it’s a pretty difficult moment to watch. But there’s no getting around the fact that Mr and Mrs Wildstar are very much dead, and that Derek is now an orphan. What’s more, as Wildstar, himself caught up in the shockwave from the blast that overturned the later bus he was on, makes his way unsteadily to where his parents are meant to be waiting for him, it is clear that he blames himself and his delay as the reason why they had been standing at ground zero. The rage and trauma and guilt turning him from the sensitive butterfly-collecting child we saw at the outset into the angry, revenge-hungry young man of today.

Back in the present on board the Argo, Venture, IQ-9 and Doctor Sane are able to talk Wildstar back to his senses, and he drops his knife, ashamed of himself. But it’s only a momentary reversal, as the Gamilon pilot takes this opportunity to go for the weapon, intending to end his own life in ritual suicide. Wildstar is able to stop him by knocking the blade out of his hands, but then he loses control completely, pummeling the Gamilon crazily until the two of them are spent, tear-filled, breathless sacks upon the floor. STAR BLAZERS cuts all of this business with the knife and the suicide attempt, but does allow Wildstar to go apeshit on the prisoner, a more violent action than most other episodes might have allowed. With everything that needed to be trimmed here, I expect that the bar was set a bit higher in terms of what was deemed acceptable for this episode.

STAR BLAZERS also introduces a bizarre bit of nonsensical business that wasn’t in the original YAMATO episode. As Avatar and Sandor attempt to interrogate the prisoner, the narrator reveals that, before each mission, each Gamilon pilot has his memory erased so that he can’t provide information to an enemy if captured. The source material simply had the captured pilot being of low enough rank that he knew nothing of value that he could tell the Star Force–I’m guessing that somebody realized that just the location of Gamilon itself would have been valuable intel that any pilot was sure to know, hence this contrivance.

Either way, the finale is the same in both YAMATO and STAR BLAZERS: the Star Force is operating with a very limited food supply (a situation that will grow more dire in the coming days), so they can’t afford another mouth to feed. Once Sandor has repaired his plane, Avatar orders the Gamilon released. And for all that food is a precious commodity, Avatar makes his wishes known to Wildstar subtly: “You know, he hasn’t had anything to eat all day.”

In the hanger bay, just before he takes off, the Gamilon pilot is surprised when Wildstar races up to him and gives him a package of food to take with him on his journey home. The two enemies share a smile between them, and the tension is broken. We’re told that the pilot eventually made his way back to his unit, while the Star Force continued on towards Iscandar–now with only 305 days remaining until the human race is completely wiped out.

#Star Blazers #Space Battleship Yamato #Yamato

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uriurijihoonie · 6 years

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💎 diamond + hong jisoo

A/N: Idk how weddings work on other countries and religions but this is how weddings work on mine so sorry for a personal preference input! I think this should be a word prompt "ring" instead of diamond smh to myself ugh word count: 1,501

All Joshua wanted was his wedding to be perfect. It was every couple’s dreams for their dream wedding to be pulled off well, since it was only once in a lifetime. Who would want their weddings to not be perfect, right?

Ever since Joshua had proposed to you and you said yes, both of you were definitely hands-on in planning and preparing for your wedding. Although sometimes you were a bit off when cold feet occurs, Joshua and both of your friends were there for you to relieve your stress and anxiety.

"It's just normal, Josh. It also happened with my wife so don't worry, Y/N's still marrying you." Seungcheol chuckled as he patted Joshua by the shoulder.

"Thanks, Cheol. I know. I'm not doubting her." Joshua smiled as he looked at the door where Seungcheol came from, where you were being comforted by the others. It suddenly went open and your eyes immediately went to Joshua, throwing yourself on your fiance's arms, a sulking tone on your voice.

"I'm really sorry, Shua, I've been acting too much these days. I love you and I'm really sure, one hundred percent, I'll marry you." Although muffled as your head was nuzzled on the gap between his neck and shoulders, Joshua fully understands even though you won't say anything.

"You don't have to say sorry, baby." Joshua cooed, his arms tightening around you as he rubbed your back gently. "I understand, okay? I also trust you, I know you won't run away from me, absolutely cannot let that happen."

Light chuckles were emmitted from the both of you. "I know. See? It's my loss if I run away, and I won't lose you, Josh."

Even though the wedding preparations aren't that smooth and there were light debates for some details, the both of you still managed to organize everything according to your tastes and desires; from the color theme, the guests, the entourage, the venue down to little and very intricate details such as the table setting for your reception, the cushions for your rings and your desired flowers for your bouquet.

Everything was going well according to plan, until your wedding day.

"If you're joking, Soonyoung, I swear this is not the right time." Joshua can't help but glare at his younger friend from the mirror, who looked really nervous and guilty.

"Hyung, I'm really sorry but I'm not joking! I'm sorry, hyung!" Soonyoung clasped his hands and almost kneeling on the floor, which made Joshua stopped buttoning his suit and turned to him. "You really lost the rings?!"

"Hyung, we looked at every room booked for all of us and the cushions with the rings cannot be really found! I'm sorry, hyung! The others already reported to the manager of the hotel, I'm really sorry, hyung..." Soonyoung trailed off, looking as guilty as ever.

It was the first time Joshua felt this really mad and really upset in his life. All he wanted was for this day to be perfect for him and especially for you. He wouldn't be this upset if maybe he just has to change clothes because of wardrobe malfunction, but it was the ring he got for you and was really special; it was a custom-made rose quartz and serenity colored diamond ring, formed in a big serenity heart shape then a smaller rose quartz heart shape.

Maybe it was a small deal for others but to him, it was big. It was his surprise wedding ring for you. Although the both of you picked you rings, Joshua still wanted to give you the best; the first ring that you really admired was the rose quartz-serenity ring but when Joshua insisted he'll buy it, you immediately refused seeing it was too expensive.

But Joshua loves you so much he doesn't care about the price as long as he makes his girl happy.

"What's the time, Soonyoung?" Joshua suddenly asked, once again fixing his suit.

"About 30 minutes before the wedding will start, hyung." Soonyoung himself panicked at the remaining time to find the rings. "Don't worry, hyung, Seokmin said tha-- hyung! Where are you going?!"

Soonyoung's scream fell on deaf ears as Joshua started his car engine, roaring to life as he sped off to the jewelry shop.

You glanced at your wristwatch, seeing it was now forty minutes past the time when the ceremony should be held. You started getting anxious when you saw the guests chatting and mumbling on each other.

"Y/N, darling," your (soonest to be) mother-in-law approached you, worry visible in her eyes. "We haven't been in touch with Joshua either since we left early at the hotel, but dear, you trust our son, right? Also, he will never step foot of our house when he left you here."

Your mother-in-law's words somehow gave comfort to you, as you slightly squeezed your hand holding hers. "I trust him, Mother. I know Joshua won't run away from me."

You looked around for any signs of his groomsmen, yet they were also nowhere to be found. Your heart started feeling heavy, your worries and anxiety mixing up, making your stomach churn, when the doors opened.

Standing in front yet far away from you was your groom, his brown locks tousled in a messy way, his suit a bit creased and he looks like he's still catching his breath, but in your eyes, Joshua is still the most handsome man you've ever seen and you were more than thankful that he's there, slowly walking towards you.

As soon as Joshua reached you, he kissed the top of your forehead hidden by the veil, which never failed to make way for a lovely smile on your face. "I'm really sorry, baby."

You just shook your head and smiled. "It's okay, baby. I'm just glad that you're safe." You exchanged smiles then he turned and bowed to the audience.

"I'm sorry I have kept you all waiting. I apologize for the inconvenience that I've caused, and to Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N, I'm sorry for keeping your precious daughter waiting, but know that I am more than willing to marry her. I hope you will listen to me later as I explain why I am late." Joshua bowed once again and turned to you and gestured for the person to wed you both to start the ceremony.

The ceremony went well, until it was time for the both of you to wear the rings and exchange vows. The ring bearer went to the both of you, and as you were about to take the ring, you noticed that it wasn't the ring you both picked.

Looking at Joshua, you raised your eyebrows, but he just smiled and proceeded to wear the ring on your finger. "Wait... Josh, this is... but how..."

Joshua chuckled at your gasp and surprised face, as he held your hand tightly. "I guess that's the explanation as to why I got late to my own wedding, and I didn't have the chance to cry as you walk on the aisle."

You just laughed, remembering how the roles reversed earlier. "You see, Y/N, I have this surprise for you. I noticed how you're boring holes on a certain wedding ring on a magazine one time. It was the rose quartz and serenity diamond color, right? I actually have a ring that I customized with those two colors in it and have it formed into a heart."

You gasped, speechless. You know that your boyfriend go through such lengths sometimes, but this time it was really too much.

"But unfortunately, I think I misplaced it. We looked for it everywhere, and I'm running out of time, so I had to go back to the jewelry shop where I customized your ring with little hope that they made another but apparently, they don't. And I had to go through different shops to find a similar ring. So I'm really sorry because I ruined our wedding day."

The audience had various reactions as Joshua finished his story. Some were really touched and in awe, others were cooing and some were cheering. You, on the other hand, felt the tears pricking in your eyes as your free hand went to caress his cheek.

"Oh, baby." You choked back a sob, pressing your lips to stop yourself from crying. "First of all, you didn't ruin our wedding, okay? Stop thinking like that. And baby, you know you really don't have to do that. I could even wear a plastic or a toy ring or whatever for the rest of my life for all I care, all that matters is that we're married and we're together."

Your tears started to fall, "but I appreciate it all, Josh. I appreciate everything. I'm really happy. I love you so much."

You started sobbing, as Joshua pulled you into a tight hug. "You deserve everything, princess. And if I could get something for you, I'll have it for you. I love you too, baby."

word prompts masterlist

#Seventeen #svt #seventeen kpop #svt kpop #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #hong jisoo #hong joshua #seventeen joshua #joshua fanfic #joshua scenarios #joshua imagines #joshua fluff #joshua angst #uriurijihoonie word prompts

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butindeed · 6 years

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Bloody fair (Sensible content. Riley x Drake)

Hi guys! Just in case you didn’t know, this is part of a nameless Riley x Drake series. You can read the previous parts HERE.

Tags: @decisso @lazychic28 @drakelover78 @captainkingliam @boneandfur @chantelle-x0x

Summary: SENSITIVE CONTENT, VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

It’s a bit long, I’m sorry, but anxiety won me over and I just couldn’t write it in several parts as I intended! Hope you enjoy it anyways!

Well, for those who don’t know it, this part is directly related to these previous ones:

Guitar strings

Paper Kites

Bruises fade

_______________________________________________________________

Riley was taking a well deserved shower after a not too healing sleep. She had had nightmares about the atrocious engagement party all night long.

She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Justin had failed her so bad.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only thought clouding the hapiness of having cleared her name. The shadow had been lurking around, both at the embassy party when she was talking to Maxwell at the rooftop and when they exited the engagement party that night, she was almost certain she had seen him staring among the journalists. She was being pushed forwards by Drake and Maxwell. She could still see his face among them, standing out among the bright blinding flashes.

She washed those thoughts while rinsing her soapy hair and stepped out of the bathroom, wrapping herself in a fluffy white hotel towel.

Riley dressed up quickly and combed her hair. She was just finishing when she heard a knock on her door.

-Who is it? - She asked, her heart paralized in fear.

-It’s us! - Hana’s voice answered - We wanted to invite you to a fair nearby!

Riley let out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding, grabbed her hotel room key, mobilephone and opened the door.

-Let’s go!

______________________________________________________________

Once at the Coney Island amusement park, the gang gathered ready to relax, eventhough Liam hadn’t arrived yet. Riley was ready for some good old fun, but felt unease. She couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was following her, ready to jump out of the shadows.

The fair was full of tourists strolling and queueing to get on the rides, laughter and fast food smell filled the air, and although Hana seemed a bit like a fish out of the water, Drake was definitely on his element.

It was good to see all of her friends wearing casual clothes, enjoying the rides and unwinding.

She missed Kai, and returning to NYC without seeing her felt like a knife in her chest. But business was business and she had had to travel to Chicago for that week.

Maxwell suggested to get their hands read by a fortune teller and though Drake complaint a bit, they headed that way. Upon arriving to the booth, Riley caught a glimpse of a person staring at her.

It couldn’t be the same person... He was so different now! He flashed a yellowed-teeth terrifying smile and Riley shuddered. She scanned the place quickly for Drake’s face, and when she looked back, the person wasn’t there anymore.

She quickened her pace, but decided not to tell her friends about what she saw, what she thought she had seen.

After some not very promising readings, they left the booth, ready to grab something to eat.

-Riley, could you come with me to the loo? - Hana asked - I’m not sure I should go alone.

-Sure Hana!

Once in the restroom, Hana entered into one of the toilet booths, leaving Riley alone in the waiting section. She was washing her hands absentmindedly when she looked up. She wasn’t alone anymore.

Her throat dried instantly and a scream died as a gasp.

There he was, standing in front of her, a dirty finger pressed over her lips, silencing her like so many times when they were together.

How could it had been him? There were no traces of his curly light brown hair, or his bright silver eyes. He resembled more a monster than a person.

He smiled again, flashing his rotten yellowish teeth, wrinkling his sallow skin, his eyes blood injected eyes brighted with a madness hallow.

Just then Hana flushed the toilet, and Riley turned that way.

When Hana opened the door, she found a very shaken Riley staring at a blank spot.

-Are you ok?

-Yes, just thinking about what the fortune teller said - she lied, flashing a shaky smile.

Riley felt she had to tell at least Drake about what had just happened, but when she was about to, Mawell dragged her to the side.

-We have to try this game! - He chirped - pointing at a high stricker.

They were heading that way when someone grabbed her arm a little bit too strong.

-Sorry, miss? - He croacked - I just wanted to tell you I’ve been following your story on the news, I know absolutely all about you, Riley. - Riley felt sick, and she gripped Maxwell’s arm desperately, who seemed amused by the situation.

-Look Riley! You have an admirer! - He grinned - What’s your name sir? - He asked shaking his hand

-Trent, Lord Maxwell - Tren stated never leaving Rileys eyes.

-You’re a fan of mine too? This is so great! I’m really pleased to meet you sir, but I’m afraid we’ll have to leave now - Maxwell said heading towards Drake and Hana who were waving at them - Come on Riley!

Riley felt like outside her own body, she couldn’t believe he was there. After all the time she had been hiding from him. He had finally found her, and not only found her, he had the guts to talk to her, to her friends. She didn’t know where she was walking to, she felt Maxwell guiding her and it was good enough. Before she could notice, they had stopped in front of a ferris wheel. Maxwell had let go of her hand, and someone else had grabbed it. It was a rough touch, but warm. She snapped out of the trance and saw Drake gazing at her.

-Would you like to ride with me?

Riley nodded smiling as she squeezed his hand.

Once on the cart, she rested her head on his shoulder watching the sunlight fade below them.

-This is a hell of a view - Drake mumbled flustered gazing at Riley’s lips.

Riley didn’t think twice, she closed the space between the two of them and kissed him passionately. She had always been independent and strong, but something about Drake made her feel safe. If she had to face Trent again, she needed as much strenght as she could gather, and kissing Drake gave her more than enough.

-Are you ok Ri? - he asked when they parted, his forehead still pressed against hers; he knew her so well, it was as if he could see right through her.

-Actually - she whispered - I saw Trent today.

-Trent, Trent? Your ex Trent?

-Yes - Riley’s voice was cracking and tears were buildind in her eyes.

-But Kai texted me telling they had a lead in Chicago, they went there following a lead!

-How... why... Have you been talking to Kai?

Drake filled Riley in with the details of their investigation. Riley couldn’t believe how much Drake cared about her. Even when he had been pushing her away, he was taking care of her. She couldn’t help but kissing him again, but he pushed her shortly.

-Tell me everything, please.

Riley described him, his now greyish hair, his bowed figure, his scary stare with sunken eyes, his creepy smile and how he had lurked her all day long.

When they stepped out of the ferris wheel, Drake spotted Liam and Bastien arriving across the street.

-Wait here Riley - he urged her as he started running

-Drake, wait for me! -She cried running after him.

Drake stops in the midle of the street, offering his hand.

Just then, a nearby car’s headlights turned on and its engine started purring. As Riley walked over to Drake, the car speeded up in their direction.

Riley pushed Drake just in time to avoid the bumper, rolling herself over the hood, harmlessly.

Liam jogged over there to make sure they were ok when the car started driving in reverse, ready to hit them. When he’s about to scrap Liam, Bastien pulled him to his side while taking out his gun.

The driver speeded, trying to escape, but Bastien was quicker, pulling the trigger twice.

-Stay back! - He yelled as he approached the car.

The windshield was all cracked, two bulletholes in the driver’s side. Without lowering his gun, he opened the passenger’s seat.

-I’m afraid he’s dead - He stated.

Trent’s body was held still by the seatbelt, a bullet wound on his right shoulder, other on his forhead; his eyes opened, without seeing.

Riley burried her head on Drake’s chest, unable to contain the tears.

-It’s over - he whispered kissing the top of her head as he embraced her - It’s all over.

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Drake was at the hotel bar resting both his elbows on the counter, he had left Riley with Hana and Maxwell.

It was the first time whiskey hadn’t solved his anxiety, he thought downing half a glass in one glup.

-So, you knew about this Trent guy? - Liam said, seating next to Drake.

Drake just nodded.

- I feel I must be honest with you, just in case you haven’t realised yet.

-Huh? - Drake asked.

-I plan on proposing to Riley as soon as the dust settles.

- I know. - Drake grunted

- Good - Liam smirked - I don’t want to see you heart broken, but she is too precious. - He stood up - She needs protection and you know it, - Liam turned around sighing - protection you clearly can’t give her- He left the bar, leaving Drake devastated.

He had pushed Riley away once, he almost lost her that night. He knew he wasn’t the best for her, but he couldn’t loose her again. He knew had to act, quickly.

He took his mobile phone and dialed the number hoping she’d be awake.

-Hey! Savannah? Do you still have grandma’s ring?

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theapostlesnigeria · 3 years

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YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY RESCUED, SECURED AND PROTECTED

I got a call from this great fine Minister and daughter of God today asking me to pray for her over marriage. There are always a lot of marriage proposals to her but when it gets to seeing her parents, they usually back off. Being a sister I passionately and deeply loved, a daughter of God who has maintained her purity, I asked for her Prayer Points. She said we should pray to destroy and demolish all the Powers and Forces delaying or preventing her marriage. I told her, "No darling, am not praying that prayer because I know there is absolutely no Power or Force in existence that can be able to do that to you. If you don't know who you are, at least I know who you are." I then drafted a Prayer Point that we would table before God. I also explained to her who she is as below. I hope you will be blessed by it.

My darling, because you are passing through some trying and perplexing situations does not mean that you are now under the control or bondage of Satan. God says never at all. "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." - 1 Peter 4:12-13. You are squarely under His grace and He knows what He is accomplishing in you and others by allowing you pass through the unpleasant situation. He is in control, not Satan.

My darling, that day you gave your life to Christ, God protectively but spiritually moved you into a Kingdom no other Power outside of His can ever breach, His Son's Kingdom: "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves." - Colossians 1:13.

On that same Day, God counting you Precious and Priceless, spiritually HID you in His Most Secured Fortress, Christ Jesus. "For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." - Colossians 3:3. By the fact of Hiding you, God is simply telling you He has divinely but spiritually Rescued, Secured and Protected you as promised. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." - Psalm 91: 14. God is not a man that He should lie. He does whatsoever He promises. So in Christ, you have been spiritually Rescued, Secured and Protected.

Now, how can anyone spiritually secured and protected in this impenetrable Fortress of Christ be reached and cursed by Satan himself talk less of a mere demon or man? From where will Satan reach you? Have you forgotten his confession about Job? “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land." - Job 1:10. If Satan couldn't breach a simple hedge around Job to hurt him, is it Christ Jesus he can breach to reach and hurt you? The truth is that no Power in Heaven or on Earth can be able to ever lay a curse on you or bring you into bondage. "I have received a command to bless; he has blessed, and I cannot change it..." - Numbers 23:20-21.

So, live in the Light of who you are and what Christ has done for you. You have been spiritually Rescued, Secured and Protected in Christ. And no Power in Heaven and on Earth can undo it. "...When I act, who can reverse it?” - Isaiah 43:13. Satan and the Powers of Darkness have lost you and the control over you forever.

The only thing they can ever do to you now is to try to tempt you to sin in the hope that God will thrust you out from the impenetrable Fortress of Christ. But God is so faithful to you that even if Satan succeed in leading you into sin, instead of thrusting you out of your Secured and Protected Shielding in Christ, He gets Christ to intercede for you and lead you back to Repentance. "My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." - 1 John 2:1-2.

So, don't allow Satan and man to keep you down and discouraged. That's not your place. You are not common. So don't allow any issue or situation to make you look down on yourself. For when God finishes with you, His Wisdom and grace will be plain to all. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11.

GOD BLESS YOU - BRO KINGDOM EGEJURU

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loneberry · 7 years

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Mari Ruti on love and desire

[Excerpt from Chapter 7 of The Summons of Love]

The Bedrock of Desire

I have already proposed that there are lovers who stand out from the rest because we experience them as so irreplaceable that even a definitive parting of ways does not entirely banish their imprint. The reason for this is that such lovers touch what I would like to call the “bedrock” of our desire. This bedrock is the deepest kernel of our being, articulating what is most archaic, least socialized (and therefore most idiosyncratic) about us, particularly about our ways of seeking satisfaction in the world. As a consequence, whenever a lover manages to awaken this kernel, he or she almost by definition cuts into unconscious layers of our interiority that are absolutely fundamental to our being yet also a little mysterious—shrouded, as they are, in the impenetrable mists of our prehistory. More specifically, such a lover activates currents of desire that are so essential to our sense of self that we would not recognize ourselves without them.

In chapter 1 I mentioned that although we may, across the span of our lives, meet numerous people who pique our curiosity, there are usually only a few who raise our passion to a feverish pitch. Those who do are the ones who—often unintentionally and without being fully aware of their power—brush against the bedrock of our desire. They stir our desire on such a primary level that we sense that our destiny is inextricably intertwined with theirs. This is how we sometimes come to feel that certain people are “fated” for us—that we do not have a choice but to respect the thrust of our desire even when this desire gets us in trouble.

The famous French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan explains that whenever this happens, our lover comes to coincide with what Freud already called “the Thing”: the unnameable object of desire that we incessantly circle but can never attain. This Thing, in Lacan’s rendering, is a fantasy object that we imagine having lost and that we therefore spend our entire lifetimes trying to refind. It connects us to our first objects of desire (usually our parents) so that when we meet its echo in another person, we tend to feel the agitation that Plato linked to the transcendent yearnings of the soul; we tend to feel as if we were in the presence of something unfathomably valuable. Indeed, there is nothing in the world that incites our desire as forcefully as a lover who seems to reincarnate the Thing. However, because the Thing is a fantasy object rather than something that we once actually had (and then lost), we can never recover it in any decisive sense. We can only ever move toward it in an imaginary way.

Our inchoate sense of having lost the Thing makes us feel that we have been deprived of existential fullness. Arguably, this is precisely what gives rise to the human condition of lack that I talked about earlier in this book. At that point I emphasized that, contrary to what might at first appear, this primordial malaise is productive because it induces us to pursue various forms of secondary satisfaction. Lacan’s analysis of the Thing augments this insight by revealing that the trajectory of our pursuit is by no means random but consists of a very specific configuration of passion in that the shape of our desire corresponds to the shape of the loss we infer having endured. It is because the Thing for which we seek substitutes spawns a very particular nexus of fantasies that only a precious few of the objects that we chance upon manage to satisfy or engage us. We are constantly, and sometimes quite compulsively, on a lookout for the exceptional object that, we believe, can make us whole. As a consequence, we fall in love when the object we find appears to fit into, and even to seal, the void within our being; we fall in love when we (unconsciously) sense that we have discovered a little piece of the Thing. In this manner, even when we are unable to identify what it is that we are searching for—even when we cannot explain the “why” of our yearning—the Thing as an unconscious object of longing gives us the treasure map of our desire.

In a sense, our inability to find the Thing underpins our continued capacity to love others. After all, it is to the extent that the Thing remains absent that we are motivated to insert one object after another into the empty slot left by it. We fall in love over and over again, only vaguely aware of the fact that each new lover can merely approximate what we are looking for. However, some lovers come much closer than others to embodying the lost Thing. And the ones who come the closest galvanize the bedrock of our desire, enigmatically conjuring up the Thing for us. When this happens, we may feel that what we desire in the other is something “more” than who he is, that there is, as Lacan puts it, “something beyond all good” about the other that attracts us irresistibly. This something “more” defies classification. It is an ineffable, intangible, indefinable, and incommunicable quality that cannot be equated with the other’s personality—that is, as it were, “in excess” of who he or she is as a culturally intelligible entity. It is as if, “within” the other, our desire was pursuing something that the other has come to represent, but that does not entirely correspond with who he or she is. This elusive quality inspires us even as it confounds us.

What is so wonderful about this quality is that it has little to do with cultural conventions of desirability. It should be obvious to anyone living in our society—a society saturated with standard images of airbrushed and idealized beauty—that our desires are frequently almost pathetically conventional. We are conditioned to want what everyone else wants. We value certain physical characteristics because our culture esteems them highly. Certain body parts—hair, eyelashes, breasts, biceps, legs, etc.—become fetishized and carry forms of collective desire. According to this account, we are all to some degree alienated from our desire in the sense that we do not fully “own” it but receive it from the culture around us. This is why certain individuals (movie stars, singers, models, etc.) manage to trigger desire relatively easily and are desired by large numbers of people. We consider such individuals fascinating for the simple reason that they possess an unusually high concentration of culturally attractive traits—the kinds of traits that we have learned to perceive as appealing.

The mysterious bedrock of desire is something more elemental than this. Although certain characteristics of the person we desire may come to symbolize this bedrock, they are never synonymous with it. Rather, it expresses an inscrutable substratum of magnetism that resides somewhere between, beneath, or beyond our lover’s definable attributes. It cannot be reduced to the coordinates of what our culture deems desirable but, quite the contrary, tends to reveal itself, intermittently, and in a somewhat baffling manner, through the cracks of our lover’s social persona. Perhaps it conveys a slice of his or her true self. Perhaps it has to do with some potentiality or inner intensity that has not been fully actualized. Or perhaps it is related to some unspoken point of deep vulnerability—to what our lover most carefully guards from the probing gaze of the external world. We might never know. Yet we feel uniquely enlivened by it. On those rare occasions when we sense that we have managed to draw close to this substratum, we may feel that our existence finally has a purpose, that we have at long last found what we have spent a lifetime looking for. We may feel that what is in principle inaccessible to us has miraculously become accessible—that we can touch the mystifying kernel of our desire even as it remains veiled.

Love’s Apprenticeship

Hitting the bedrock of our desire can be just about the most thrilling thing that could ever happen to us. Indeed, even though our quest for the Thing may cause us to make bewildering romantic choices, these choices are not necessarily erroneous. Our desire for the Thing is not a mistake, even if it is unrealistic—even if the Thing-in-itself will always remain unattainable. In other words, although our pursuit of the Thing is hopeless in the sense that there is no way to refind what we never had in the first place—that there is no way to recover a wholeness we never actually possessed—there is still an accuracy to this pursuit in the sense that it can lead us to lovers with whom we feel a special kind of connection; it can usher us to the arms of partners who meet the needs of our true self much better than the average, run-of-the-mill lover ever could. It is, in short, safe to say that our most momentous loves tend to be ones that bring us within the Thing’s aura.

Equally important, the Thing’s power to displace socially predictable patterns of desire at times empowers us to find merit in individuals we might otherwise discount. If we frequently fall into routine patterns of perception that determine what we appreciate—and if these patterns make it difficult for us to desire along lines that go against the grain of cultural conditioning—the Thing compels us to assess differently. It causes us to sit up and pay attention so that our habitual ways of determining which people we look at (and therefore conjure into existence) and which we let languish in the shadows (and therefore in irrelevance) suddenly become utterly immaterial. It prompts us to elevate a specific person into the venerated status of worthy-to-be-desired not because he or she meets cultural standards of desirability, but because he or she meets an enigmatic inner standard of ours. This is why our love choices can sometimes be quite surprising—why we often fall for the kinds of lovers we could never have envisioned in the abstract.

This, of course, in no way protects us from pain. If anything, because the reverse of uncommonly strong passion tends to be utter defenselessness, the price we often pay for our most life-shaping alliances is bottomless suffering. Although there is no automatic connection between the bedrock of our desire and pain—and although we sometimes manage to sustain devoted relationships with lovers who animate this bedrock—there is no way around the fact that those who reach us in this deep manner are frequently also the ones who hurt us the most. For example, in cases where we are unable to let go of an unrewarding relationship, it may be because our lover appears to personify our bedrock with unusual accuracy. He or she seems to contain this bedrock, with the result that we find it virtually unbearable to shift our attention to another person even when we, on a rational level, know that we should. Our need for what our lover represents can be so relentless that we are incapable of opening a space for new kinds of emotional possibilities even when it is clear that our alliance undermines us.

An excessive fixation on the bedrock of our desire can cause us to stay with a lover who lacks the capacity for meaningful emotional connection or who may even treat us badly and disrespectfully. We may end up tolerating abusive, demeaning, disparaging, wounding, or mortifying relational scenarios because we are unable to sever our attachment to a lover who seems to epitomize what we most desire. We may even become so entirely caught up in our desire that we allow the rest of our lives to collapse (so that all of our other concerns fall to the sidelines). When we cannot undo the unconscious link that unites our lover with the bedrock of our desire, we may feel that without him or her our lives have no meaning. At times we may even remain obsessively preoccupied long after we have been rejected, long after our lover has told us that we are not wanted.

It would be easy to place a moralistic judgment on this dynamic, and to say that being unable to break an addiction to a past lover or (even worse) to an abusive relationship means that something is wrong with us. However, because we are dealing with the bedrock of our desire—with something that is both unconscious and intensely binding—it is difficult to know exactly what to make of such situations. What is it that our desire is ultimately looking for? Is there a lesson to be learned from being stuck in a hurtful relationship? What might this stuckness be attempting to communicate? Is it maybe gesturing toward dimensions of our being that are undergoing a difficult apprenticeship—one that will at some future point reward us in one way or another? Are we engaged in some secret alchemy of the soul that will eventually convey us to a place of insight? Or are we simply masochistically courting pain?

Such questions usually lack easy answers. But we might as well admit that trying to relinquish a person who incarnates the bedrock of our desire—and who consequently feels irreplaceable to us—can be agonizing. Yet sometimes we need to do exactly this in order to survive. Thankfully, we do not usually experience too many of such losses during our lives. But when we do, we are altered beyond reckoning. Even if we over time manage to get our lives back on track, we will never be the same as we were before this love and its loss. When we surrender a person who represents the bedrock of our desire, we give up a part of ourselves. And we give up the fantasy of ultimate satisfaction; we give up the promise of unconditional love. There is no way to go on with our lives without carrying the melancholy trace of this event into our future. There is no way around the fact that we will always bear (and transmit to others) the deep wound inflicted by it. The wound will fade over time, of course. But it may never heal completely.

#lacan #mari ruti #Jacques Lacan #love #psychoanalysis #desire #theory

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