#his vocals just keep getting more and more dreamy

[d-dormant]

my fav bits of "paranoia, angels, true love"

- the entirety of "tears can be soft"

- the instrumental outro of "marvis descending"

- "take my hand and forget that i am just another woman / even though you see me, you'll never let me be your boyfriend / but tell me lies"

- "i want golden feathers / if they spring from my back / oh lord, i want them golden" (and pretty much all of "angels crying in my bed)

- the vocals and echoes in "he's been shining for ever, your son"

- the luscious instrumentals in the second half of "i met an angel"

- "she's in the trees, she's in the sky / she's in the singing stream / she's in the cats' and the dogs' eyes / in the birds falling up from the trees / she's on the hands of my best friend driving / she's on the hands of the one taking care of me"

- redcar being weird and funny on "let me touch you once" maybe if i had his abs i would be cocky too

- "et après ça, le câlin définitif / maman, papa, du lait, des torrents sur moi / etre aimé comme ça, comme ça me manque"

- "don't say no to me again, 'cause you know we have to be friends" (the instrumental rocks too)

- "lick the light out" sounding so fucking deeply unsettling yet captivating in the first half (madonna didn't help) and then blossoming into such a freeing melody

- "maybe she died this day just to take away the pain / so i don't have to be warm and solid ever again"

- all of "big eye"

[ariseur]

ffvii jealousy headcanons 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

✧˖*°࿐ includes cloud strife, zack fair, sephiroth, reno, genesis rhapsodos, and angeal hewley

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

just a little something to satisfy you guys while i continue working on my requests!! already did a dmc one so might as well do a ffvii one too lol

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

jealousy (obviously), some possessiveness, intended lowercase, like one bullet point about post-nibelheim sephiroth, just a couple of guys who love the reader??, lmk if i missed anything !! 🎀

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓒LOUD — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ cloud is the type of person who will swear up and down that he doesn’t get jealous, but truth be told, he does. however, he doesn’t recognize it as jealousy at first.

❥ although, he definitely tries to shove his feelings down once he realizes that he’s somewhat upset. cloud won’t upright and confess that he’s jealous or go up to you when he sees someone flirting with you.

❥ cloud’s pretty understanding if you needed space or if you were just talking with someone else, he’s not gonna immediately resort to his insecurity.

❥ but once it’s a reoccurring experience, or if they know what they’re doing— or worse, if they’re actively flirting with you or touching you, then he’ll definitely start to get a little jealous.

❥ instead of actively confronting you or getting up in the flirt’s face, he’ll only watch afar at first. he’ll observe the conversation, the light touches, checking to see if you look uncomfortable or not.

❥ when it begins to become too much though, cloud’ll come up to you, saying something along the lines of how he needs you or needs your help and that it’s so urgent that you have to come with him asap.

❥ if you even insinuate that he got jealous though, he’ll deny it to the moon and back and say that it never happened. he may act like he doesn’t care, but don’t let it fool you. cloud cares about you way too much to let you be slobbered over at a bar by a disrespectful dude.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓩ACK — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ i feel like zack’s semi into pda? as long as he’s not around the firsts or anybody important, especially angeal, then he just can’t wait to show you off. he can’t help it, poor boy loves you too much 😭 so because of the somewhat pda, i dont see a lot of people trying to flirt with you— especially knowing that your boyfriends a SOLDIER.

❥ i dont think he’d even notice at first, too busy talking to you to even notice that theres someone who has your attention also. i cant see anybody really trying to flirt with you though, zack’s like that one small dog who keeps yapping at your feet when you get to close to its owner.

❥ zack is very vocal!! if the person interrupts your conversation, he will blatantly call them out on it. he’d narrow his eyes at them and just say, “hello, i was talking to them??” because who interrupts people like that?? plain rude!!

❥ saw this in another post and i totally agree with it, zack’ll joke and joke with underlying messages behind these said ‘jokes’ and definitely has the mindset of, “what can they offer when you have me???” he just doesn’t see how they catch your attention or why they’re talking to you while hes sitting right there??

❥ will bend over backwards just for your attention, he will pout otherwise if he doesn’t get your full undivided attention after his attempts.

❥ will probably annoy the person after you’re gone by either passive-aggressively interrogating them or ranting about how in love he is with you. he’s like the cartoons where they hold their chin in their palm with heart eyes as they look up all dreamy with a giant thought bubble that’s just you. he can’t help it, he just loves you too much (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞!!1!1!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓢EPHIROTH — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ for pre nibelheim (because i miss soft and not crazy sephiroth), i cant see him getting all that much jealous? i guess he’d get more so protective if he sees someone all up on you— but otherwise, he’s pretty laid back about it. he puts a lot of his faith in you entrusting that you won’t break it, so i cant see him going crazy over it.

❥ i think sephiroth’s mature enough to not cause a scene even if he was jealous, though. he wouldn’t be petty or actively try to keep you away from anybody pre nibelheim, although he finds it amusing how they try to flirt with you.

❥ he especially has to have trust in you considering he’s a first class!! unless you are also a SOLDIER or you’re associated with shinra, you guys will spend semi-large gaps of times apart. he doesn’t think you’d betray him like that though, he’s mature enough to have a conversation if he’s really worried.

❥ sephiroth has his moments of insecurity, but usually when he’s off duty— he’ll be with you. i’m just imagining sitting at a bar with sephiroth as he’s literally right beside you while this persons trying to slide up next to you lol. i also don’t think sephiroth gets jealous because he knows his worth and know he can be intimidating when he wants to be!! even just his teasing makes people quiver in their fuckin boots lmao. i doubt anybody would wanna mess with a first class SOLDIER who’s fit and over 5’11” / 180cm.

❥ after they either get intimidated or realize their advances aren’t working and that you’re happily in a relationship with sephiroth and leave, he’ll chuckle to himself as he thinks aloud about how silly it was to even attempt to get with you, knowing who you’re with. on the off chance that he’s feeling a little possessive or something, he’s not one for pda but he might just give you a kiss after they leave and a quick murmur of amusement due to their foolishness.

❥ now!! post-nibelheim!! you’re not even gonna be out of his sight enough to be hit on considering he’s kinda like.. a war criminal in a sense 😭. he’s much more possessive in his little silly criminally existentially crisis insane arc, never letting you leave alone or even go out in public that often. he’s much more obsessed with you after his break, so if he finds someone even making advances on you?? ooh, boy.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓡ENO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ reno is one weird little dude, let me tell you that. every time i think of reno, i think of a cat. with a suit. suit cat.

❥ reno does get jealous a lot of the time, even if he is usually all up on you anyways. he still is a turk and also has to spend some time away from you, leading to overlapping thoughts of you while he’s away, maybe not even just possessive but also about if something happened to you. nothing could cure these thoughts better than a little phone sex, though.

❥ i’d like to think reno’s into pda as long as he’s not at work, poor rude having to witness wet kisses on your cheek with a lazy arm slung across your shoulder ever day. so i can’t really imagine anybody trying a bunch of stuff with you when usually— reno’s not too far behind.

❥ if reno happens to be not right next to you and he’s just doing his own thing and he happens to GLANCE AT YOU? AND HE SEES SOMEONE HITTING ON YOU?? instant slide next to you.

❥ he’s petty enough to start calling you all these pet names while he’s sitting next to you, wrapping his arm around you while he’s sizing the flirt up. he’ll look them up and down with a hard stare and maybe throw some passive aggressive comments every once in a while.

❥ he’ll probably make them uncomfortable (unless they wanna square up, because knowing reno, he might just charge if the person reciprocates his belligerent comments) so by the time they already leave, reno’s already whining against you as he asks what that was all about, acting all clueless afterwards. but you can tell just from the tone that laces his voice that he knows what he’s doing lol.

❥ he’s just a petty guy, maybe not so much possessive because i mean you can go out wherever you want wearing whatever you want (maybe after a small quickie at home if it’s something revealing), he can fend for you. he swears he’s your knight in shining armor no matter how much he teases you lmfao

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓐NGEAL — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ now here’s the real knight in shining armor™!!!! angeal is your savior if you’re ever in an uncomfortable situation, although he doesn’t really get jealous at all— he’s just very observant of you.

❥ angeal has a whole thing about how in a relationship you must have faith and he’s very comfortable with both you and himself. he’s happy in your relationship and he is secure with himself!! if zack ever sees you two together and he’s like “(」°ロ°) 」??”, bombarding him with questions as usual, then i can just see angeal giving zack a talk on how to treat women and the gentleman way of approach— although zack is very respectful, it’s just in angeals nature to lecture.

❥ he won’t think anything of it when someone you know sits with you, you guys usually know each others relatives and friends well enough to trust them. but he’s a little iffy when a random stranger starts chatting you up.

❥ angeal obviously trusts you!! again, unless you’re a SOLDIER (which he wouldn’t prefer only because he worries about your well being), then you guys will have to spend some time apart. he has a lot of faith in you and will always write you when he’s away, letting you know he’s always thinking of you while you’re apart.

❥ if anything, he’ll save you if he notices you’re uncomfortable or something along those lines. he’ll swiftly say he needs your for something and apologizes to the person out of courtesy that he interrupted your guys’ conversation, but oh it’s so urgent, we must retreat!! and i must hold you hand in hand while we run off and do totally boring SOLDIER duties!!

❥ omfg then he pulls you aside and asks if you’re okay and ugh i just want him so bad. like sephiroth, he’ll also explain how foolish it was to even hit on you when you’re clearly happily in a relationship with him. you two’ll walk along back to hq (?) or whatever while you talk about how odd the encounter was.

❥ so in conclusion !! angeal is a gentleman and doesn’t get jealous / protective unless he thinks you’re in trouble or you’re clearly uncomfortable. angeal hewley to the rescue!!!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓖ENESIS — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ this dramatic bitch.

❥ genesis is so petty that he’ll probably consider the possibility that you’re flirting back? and then proceed to ignore you or leaving you off with some esoteric poetry while he tends to his duties. he is first class, after all.

❥ if he’s sitting right next to you though, and he hears that you’re not flirting with them. he’s petty enough like reno where he’ll suddenly be throwing out all these dramatic pet names and throw longing glances towards you, except he won’t even spare a glance towards the other person— simply only paying attention to you.

❥ id consider genesis a jealous person, but i do think that most of it strikes a protective instinct within him. he does understand that he’s also a first class SOLDIER meaning he’ll have to trust you, but he has way too much time on his hands to think. also like angeal where he’ll write you as much as he can— except he’ll send you mindless poems he writes or favored quotes of LOVELESS.

❥ in the case that you leave to go to the bathroom or any sort of occasion, genesis would probably scare the other person or make them feel uncomfortable as well. but when you return and they’re gone, he’ll act so clueless. all, “whatever do you mean, dearest?”

❥ another instance where i don’t think anybody would try anything with you. like angeal and sephiroth, genesis is a first class SOLDIER. everybody knows these dudes are the real shit (well, mainly only sephiroths talked about, but it applies to genesis and angeal too!!) so hes all smug parading you around as he side eyes every person who gawks at you. of course he knows you’re beautiful, but your beauty is too much for these fools to comprehend. so yes, he must glare at every single of them.

❥ and yes, also like his companions, he will jeer and whine about how silly it was to try that with you when you two are alone. i can even see genesis pulling a cloud and just whisking you away claiming you need to do something and then act like nothing happened afterwards. either that, or he’ll overdo it and claim to be your angel— no in between.

[bethelighthalazia]

ATEEZ and how they show their love <3

Summary:  ot 8 and how they show their love <3

Genre: fluff

Pairing: OT8 x reader (separate drabbles)

Word Count:  n/a

Warnings: none

[note: Okay, this was the fist time, that I did something like this and I have to admit, that it is only how I imagine the boys to be like. I do hope you enjoy reading them though! RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @/justsomedreaming, was requested there by @mitproblem]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

SEONGHWA 

Seonghwa's love is quiet but visible to everyone.

He loves to pamper you, make sure you're fed and reminds you to take breaks and get enough rest and sleep. When you go out, he holds your hand, often wearing at least one matching item of clothing, no matter what it might be. He would also shower you with gifts, mostly little trinkets and not rarely matching things. 

When you smile or are happy, he always watches you with this dreamy, stupidly in love smile on his lips. When you're down, he doesn't need to be told, he notices and pulls you into comforting hugs.

He'll always tell you how much he loves you, but he prefers to Do so through his actions.

And he would cook for you, especially when he can sit and eat with you together.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong's love is silent and invisible to everyone.

He loves when you join him in his studio, even if it is to nag him to take breaks. Whenever you bring him food, he'll eat it, asking you if you have eaten and slept. If you fall asleep in the studio, he'd make sure to cover you with a blanket and also make sure that you're comfortable while he keeps working. 

Joong can't but smile when he looks at you, often exchanging cute and hidden looks with you.

Even though he's not the type of person to show physical affection, he'd cuddle up with you, whispering love confession into your ear.

When you go out, he'd shy away from public displays of affection, but he'll always make sure to show you he's there, brushing his hand against yours or other small moments of skinship without others noticing.

YUNHO

Yunho's love is quiet but very visible to everyone.

Yunho loves to hold your hands or hug you. If you are cold, he'll offer you his scarf, jacket or gloves when outside, when at home, he'll always give you his hoodie or pull you against his chest. 

When he kisses you, he puts all his feelings for you into it, when it's in public, he'll get very flustered afterwards though. 

He will always make sure that you know how much he loves you, be it through his actions or words, he'll prove that his heart only belongs to you.

When in crowds, he'll always hold your hand or pull you against his side,so you won't get separated.

He WILL try to make you play videogames with him, but you often just end up watching him play.

YEOSANG

Yeosang's love is quiet and peaceful, visible to observant people.

You and Yeosang don't need many words. When you're reading, he'll take a book and sit with you silently, reading as well. When you are alone, he's talkative, always asks about yourself, your interests and how your day was. He'll always tell you that he loves you and he loves to give you affectionate nicknames whenever it's just you two. 

When others are around, he'll still be close to you, occasionally exchanging skinship, but not as obvious for other people.

He loves holding hands or cuddling, but this is also more for when you two are alone. He loves to give you flowers. He'll also pick up on things that you mention in conversations that seem not very important at the first glance, but he'll always remember those things.

SAN

San's love is loud and very visible to everyone.

When you are not cuddling, he will make sure to pull you into his arms, no matter where you are. San is very vocal about how much he loves you, telling you at any time that you're his most loved treasure. He'll always ramble to his friends and family about you and the amount of love he has for you.

He takes any occasion to shower you with gifts, be it small trinkets, jewelry or huge presents. 

He'll also secretly buy an engagement ring very early in your relationship, because he WILL marry you one day.

When you're outside, he'll hold your hand, always sit close to you and never leave your side.

San can't hide when he's jealous, so he often pouts when he sees you talking or being friendly with other men.

MINGI

Mingi's love is loud and visible for everyone.

Mingi, where to start.

He is shy when it comes to voice out his love for you, it's not easy for him to say “I love you”, instead he will use other words or phrases. He'll give you affectionate nicknames and won't hesitate to use them in public. 

He LOVES to kiss your neck, whether it's in public or at home. Hugs and physical touch are a must, he loves to have you close to him, it grounds him. Mingi will always reach for your hand to hold it, making sure to not hurt you with his rings. 

Mingi also will care for you silently, putting food on your plate while eating, making sure you'll eat well and he'll make sure you take breaks from working and that you have a healthy sleep schedule.

He will physically drag you from your work (when you're overworking yourself in the home office) and make you lay down to cuddle and sleep in his arms!

He's easily jealous and he knows it, he'll always make sure people know you are his.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung’s love is very loud and very visible for everyone.

This guy is a dramatic, whiney and absolutely touchy person. He loves you with all his heart (and his body, believe me!).

There is no time that he will not cling to you. You're out with the boys? He'll hold your hand or just have his arms around you. You're visiting his parents? His hand on the small of your back or around your waist. You're at home with him and the boys? You're in his embrace all time, he'll make the others get up and get snacks or drinks for you, so he won't have to let go of you.

Woo is the first to say “I love you.”, probably shouting it at you in front of everyone. He'll tell you how much he loves you at any moment in the day. 

Woo will shower you with kisses,touch and presents. When he's on tour, he'll facetime you (if it was for him, he'd do so 24/7 because he misses you so much).

He'd panic and freak out if you don't say ”I love you” back or pull away from his touch, scared to possibly lose you. When you're down, he will do anything in his might to cheer you up somehow.

He's very jealous, getting whiney and clingy when he sees you talk or be friendly with other guys.

JONGHO

Jongho's love is loud but only visible to observant people.

Jongho, sweet, innocent Jongho.

He is not one to display his affection very openly, especially not in public. There will be physical touch, but small ones only. Fingers brushing against yours, his hand hovering on the small of your back, his leg touching yours when sitting next to each other. 

When the two of you are alone? He'll be very cuddly. He loves to rest his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat. But cuddly Jongho is for you only, not for others to see or know (not even for his hyungs).

What he will do is tell everyone that you're his. He'll proudly tell you “I love you” as often as possible, no matter who is around. 

Jongho will also shower you with presents and flowers. He'll also make sure to care for you, make sure you eat well, sleep and take enough breaks to rest.

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[subskz]

So this is kind of my personal head canon,but what do you think about sleepy sex with Bang Chan?Since he works all day,he wouldn't have the energy to get intimate,so he leaves the reader to do what they want to him while he dozes off

yes!! i adore the idea of sleepy sex with channie both in the sense of helping him fall asleep and free use somnophilia <3

sometimes he comes home so desperate for you but too exhausted to do anything. he’s already extra cuddly when he’s drowsy but when he’s in that kind of headspace he needs you more than ever, there’s no chance of getting him off of you he clings to you like a koala ㅠㅠ the moment he rests his head on your shoulder, breathing in your scent w a soft, sleepy mumble you know he needs you to take care of him until he drifts off. he’s complete putty in your hands, gazing up at you through half-lidded eyes as you ride him/cockwarm him or lazily jerk him off under the covers until the release of endorphins when he cums eases him right into sleep ♡ he might be out like a light even before he reaches his climax bc the gentle rhythm of pleasure is so soothing, it makes the haze in his mind take over immediately

he’ll collapse into bed after a long day and hold his arms out to cling to you, even when he’s worn out he still uses the last of his energy to nestle into you and press your bodies together. maybe he nudges his nose against yours w a quiet whine to ask you to kiss him as he rubs himself sleepily into your thigh. just cute, uncoordinated movements on pure instinct bc he needs you so bad but can barely stay awake enough to grind his hips properly. his eyes start to droop and eventually his lips stop moving, they just sta puckered uselessly against yours slipping out sweet sighs as his breathing gradually slows and he falls asleep. he never feels safer or more loved than when he drifts off in your arms <3

other times he lets you use him in his sleep bc channie is such a little giver who always wants to please you. even when he doesn’t have the energy for sex, he loves being of service to you and is more than willing to let you have your way with him, he might even be the one to bring it up. it helps that he tends to sleep shirtless most of the time too so you have easy access to his body without disturbing him too much~ he’ll pass out still half-hard for you, all you have to do is dip your hands into his boxers and use all the precum that’s leaked out of his dick to start stroking him to full hardness so you can use him however you want. he’s so vocal even in his sleep, he lets out so many tiny whimpers and moans inbetween his snores, and it’s so cute to hear the sound of his breathing go from that peaceful rise and fall to heavy panting the more you toy w him. he definitely wakes up a few times throughout, esp if you give him head bc he’s super sensitive to your tongue and he might even start bucking up weakly into your mouth in his sleep. he drifts in and out of consciousness, waking himself up with a weak hiccup or mewl of your name when smth feels especially good. he looks disoriented for a second, blinking up at you like he doesn’t even know where he is, but the moment he registers it’s you, a lopsided, dreamy smile forms on his face and he reaches out to hold your hands or grab on to you somehow, only for his grip to loosen once he starts to doze off again

some days he doesn’t even make it to the bedroom and you come home to find him just passed out on the couch, wearing that specific hoodie that lets you know anything goes (in his own words…“this body belongs to you” hehe) you can put a cockring on him to keep him hard as long as possible and ride him to your heart’s content, sweet baby would be so happy to wake up finding you in his lap using him for your own pleasure, he slurs out smth abt wanting to make you feel good then drops his head against your chest and falls right back asleep. you can also admire his body to the fullest when he’s asleep, running your hands along his muscles, toying with his nipples and pouty lips and dick, and kissing all over his skin without him shying away or trying to cover up for once 🥰 you can take your sweet time prepping him too if you want to peg him, pumping your fingers gently and methodically in and out of him for as long as you want before adding another, maybe even a third until he’s perfectly stretched out for you

he’d be the cutest sight when he wakes up w his messy curls and puffy face and droopy eyes ❤️‍🩹 he’d feel so relaxed and satisfied and maybe a lil sore, but he beams when you cover his face with kisses and coo over him for being a good boy who takes you so well even in his sleep

[rivetgoth]

Black Alternative Music Recs

Not being Black myself, I hesitate to make myself a spokesperson specifically for Black alt artists as I don’t want to be tokenizing or reductive and I’d rather, like, uplift the voices of Black alt people than just make my own lists, BUT, I keep seeing people in the comments of recent posts about Death Grips asking for recs for more Black alternative artists, and I do know a good amount, so as a really basic list I wanted to throw out a few artists I really like—

Light Asylum: Darkwave. Really incredible vocalist, and openly queer. “Dark Allies” is a huge goth club hit but all of her work is great. I’ve seen her live twice and her live concerts are incredible too. One of the bigger Black goth artists.

Ho99o9: Punk/Industrial Hip Hop. Another big one, they’re pretty well known at this point but if you DON’T know them you should. Huuuge variety in sound here, all of it is so fun and solid, absolutely amazing energy.

clipping.: Industrial/Experimental Hip Hop. Really fun and catchy, great lyrics, great mixing, great experimental electronic sound.

Void Palace: Industrial/EBM. Local LA-based act with an amazing industrial dance club sound and vibe. Seen them live and they bring such cool but crazy energy. Really really solid.

O. Children: Darkwave/Post Punk. Really classic gothic sound, amazing vocals, really underrated, theatrical, fun, and moody gothic rock.

Izzy Spears: Industrial/Experimental Hip Hop. Openly gay alternative hip hop artist with a heavy and super danceable beat. I saw him live and he sounded great and had awesome punky energy.

LUSTSICKPUPPY: Punk/Electro-Industrial. Has almost a hyperpop sound sometimes, super high BPM high energy danceable electronic music with a really crazy theatrical style to their performances (kicking myself for missing them last year!). ETA: LSP uses they/them pronouns, corrected now but apologies for missing that irt any older iterations of this post floating around.

Baby Storme: Darkwave/Ethereal Pop. I think she got a bit of popularity on TikTok recently? I don’t use TikTok so idk, but she’s great. Really well mixed, fun, super solid dreamy darkwave with a dancey pop sound intermixed.

Grizz: Darkwave Hip Hop. I JUST discovered this artist, he’s another LA local who just put out a new single that’s getting some attention and he’s really good. Super cool goth fusion sound with really great classic darkwave electronic backing. Check him out!

Cold Gawd: Shoegaze/Post-Hardcore. Iconically sells merch that says “ABOLISH WHITE SHOEGAZE.” Absolute powerhouse of sound; I saw them live and their music sounded torrential, like this intense, powerful storm.

Debby Friday: Dark Electronic/Experimental Hip Hop. Really really haunting and dreamy gothic sound. Collaborates with artists like Boy Harsher. Superbly mixed. Lots of variety in sound but very consistently strong.

Dre Robinson: Industrial/Experimental Electronic. Longtime cEvin Key/Skinny Puppy collaborator. He was on stage with Skuppy during the recent live tour, doing sound and playing the maggot maracas (iykyk). He’s also been involved in a ton of cEvin’s solo work and accompanies him on stage for his live solo shows.

Charles Levi: Industrial/Industrial Rock. Wax Trax!/90s industrial icon, did work for My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult and Pigface. He’s recently had a bunch of serious health problems and has a GoFundMe up of you’d like to donate. He contributed to so much classic industrial rock, it’s crazy.

There’s a billion more. These are just some artists I genuinely really like personally who are Black, and I think all of them deserve a ton of support and recognition as contributors to the alternative scene. There’s so many amazing Black-fronted alternative bands and projects, and I’m just scratching the surface with artists I know and enjoy, Also considered listing some larger names like Yves Tumor and Tricky, but I feel they’re slightly more well known in the mainstream with ~1mil+ listeners on Spotify and I wanted to highlight some slightly more underground voices (to varying degrees—obviously some artists here are more well known than others).

Check them out!! Support Black alternative music!

[mountainficss]

puppy idols

!! mentions of: unprotected sex, aftercare, oral sex, overstimulation, marking

i wanna take a second to talk about idols that remind me of puppies <3 sweet personalities that are always so eager and giddy + just want to be good for their lovers <3 so loyal and happy and sweet ugh <333

yunho - sweetest boy ever. always has the biggest smile on his face no matter what he’s doing. loves to hang out and go places with you no matter where you’re going. he could go to the supermarket with you and still have the time of his life just because he’s with his favorite person. can make you laugh even when you’re at your lowest i seriously love his sense of humor. i feel like he’d forget his strength sometimes, rutting desperately into you when he gets too carried away :( but he’d always hold you close while he fucks you, wrapping you into the biggest bear hugs ever. aftercare with yunho would be so so loving. overall just the sweetest guy ever. definitely gives retriever vibes.

jeno - such a kind shy baby. always so compliant and sweet. i don’t remember where i heard this, but i even remember doyoung mentioning that when he would take the dreamies out, they’d all be super high maintenance except for jeno. jeno was just quiet and super sweet. i imagine that’s the kind of lover he would be, so shy but also the most loving puppy ever. would give you small pecks on your cheeks and interlock his pinky with yours when you walk with him. always checking on you and making sure you’re happy. he’d be so fun to play with, would just whimper under you as you overstimulate him with your mouth. his ears would be all red as he quietly begs you for more even though it’s so much for him. cutie samoyed <3

mingyu - such a people pleaser. would absolutely do anything for you. he gives such strong housewife vibes, he’d definitely cook for you after a long day at work and would fold your laundry for you on the living room floor while you sit behind him on the couch and run your fingers through his hair. lives and breathes for your praise, loves when you compliment him or call him a good puppy. would eat you out for hours, moaning at your taste as his nose and chin become drenched in your slick. your breathless mumbles of what a good boy he is would continuously spur him on, his hips unconsciously humping the air just to try to get his poor cock some relief ;(

seokmin - eager personified. always smiling and giggling, i feel like he’d love to go on fun dates with you. would be beaming every second he spends near you, and would get a little flustered when you tease him or flirt with him. he’d be such a touchy boy, always finding ways to keep his hands on you. holding your hand, hugging you from behind, leaning his head on your shoulder and nuzzling his face into your neck, he’d do it all. but his favorite thing to do by far would be to bury his face in your chest, sucking hickeys everywhere as he pounds into you. vocal, literally cannot hold back his moans and cries because you’re just so pretty and feel so good around him and he’s overwhelmed. it’s so much for him but he’d stay deep inside you for the rest of his life if he could.

[justporo]

Tavern Talk

I really wanted to write a little something about the companions enjoying a moment of banter at breakfast - so have them complaining about Astarion and Tav not being able to keep their… nightly activities subtle… Spoiler warning!

Pairing: Astarion / GN!Tav

Warning: Talk of sex

(Gif from here!)

The whole party was sitting together eating breakfast in the tavern they stayed in - except, Tav and Astarion sat a few tables away and none of them were really eating. While the vampire and the wood elf were sitting at their small cozy table in the corner being all cute, the rest of the party sat at the big table in the middle and openly stared at the couple - a spoonfull or two even forgotten halfway to its destination.

„I swear to all Gods that will listen that if I have to endure them going at it one more night, I‘m going to kill myself right here, Absolute be damned“, Gale moaned pressing the balls of his hands into his eyesockets. He did indeed look even more tired than usually. Seemingly, the fact that he had one of the two rooms next to the happy couple was to blame.

„I agree, maybe Tav should‘ve taught this wretched vampire to not moan so loudly - even the bard‘s yapping would have been less annoying“, Lae‘zel agreed - she had the other room next to them. She stabbed the fruit on her platter as if she tried to murder it and chewed it angrily. Karlach snorted a little at the githyanki‘s murderous mood while she took a bite of bread.

„Well, if it‘s in his nature to be this vocal than it‘s better to let it out than forcing it down“, Halsin chimed in, a somewhat dreamy look in his eyes while eating another big spoonful of his porridge. He was the only one that wasn‘t really staring at the two other elves.

The druid‘s comment made all heads turn to him for a hot second. „Eww“, Shadowheart made quietly and scrunched up her nose while she kept twirling her sole cup of tea in front of her around.

„Tchk, druid, if you don‘t mind sleeping next to what sounds like a dying owlbear then I‘ll happily swap rooms with you and maybe you can ask to join next time they‘re at it“, Lae‘zel spit towards the towering elven druid.

„That‘s absolutely not what a dying owlbear would sound like“, Halsin answered very matter-of-fact, staring down at the table now with furrowed brows. His pointy ears had turned a telltale shade of light pink.

„You‘re all just jealous“, Karlach entered the conversation. She sat relaxedly on the bench leaning back and crossed her arms over her chest: „Jealous, because they are getting some and we all don‘t.“ „Tss, getting some is not the problem. But you don‘t have to rub it into everyone‘s faces how much amazing sex you‘re having“, Shadowheart responded, nose still scrunched up in disgust.

„So, what I‘m hearing is that you might have a big orgy with an endless amount of lovers in your room every night and none of us would ever know and you would absolutely never sass us about it in your sarcastic little tone you have sometimes“, the wizard replied dryly to Shadowheart‘s remark while raising an eyebrow at the half-elf and gesturing towards her with one hand. „Well, I wouldn‘t tell you, for starters, Gale. Just because you can never keep your mouth shut doesn‘t mean the rest of us can‘t - stop projecting yourself on everybody else.“ That earned Shadowheart snorts and chuckles all around the table - and the wizard did not have a witty reply anymore.

Silence spread through the group. Lae‘zel kept murdering her breakfast, Halsin munched on his food as did Wyll. Karlach kept forgetting to put her bread in her mouth to actually eat it while still throwing glances over to where Tav and Astarion were now holding hands and leaning their heads together like the lovebirds they were. Shadowheart and Gale kept holding on to their hot beverages. Shadowheart usually skipped out on eating for breakfast - and Gale seemed to still fight with being deprived of his beauty sleep.

„But what‘s changed? We all know they fucked before“, Karlach finally broke the silence. The comment earning mumbled approval and more groans around the table („Don‘t remind me, tiefling“, Lae‘zel spat). „They smooch all the damn time in front of everyone and at the most inappropriate times. I mean, it‘s not like they‘re trying to hide anything“, Karlach continued and shrugged. „Yes, by the Gods, I‘d hope they would hide it“, Gale whispered under his breath and stared at the ceiling in desperation.

„I‘d assume what‘s changed is that they‘re both now truly free to choose the one they love and act upon it - without ulterior motives or fear behind it.“ This was the first time Wyll offered any insight on the topic. He had rather politely held his tongue on the matter, not wanting to judge and indulge the gossiping.

„Hmm“, the druid agreed with him and nodded solemnly, „I would think breaking out of your slavery of two hundred years and experiencing real love and genuine connection after that can quite positively turn your world around for the better.“ „Don‘t romanticise that they can‘t be more subtle!“, Shadowheart immediatly exclaimed and crossed her arms over her chest.

„Well, for what it‘s worth I think they deserve to enjoy their love in peace for a bit but if you‘re all so bothered about it, I can go and talk to them about it later“, Wyll offered, completely being the diplomat about the whole thing.

„Chk, warlock, don‘t bother - I feel like these people don‘t want a solution, they‘d rather sit here every morning and gossip and bitch about it“, said Lae‘zel who had finished her food and was now just sitting between the others while brooding.

„I‘m all about handling this like adults“, Gale said and lifted his cup of tea halfway ,“but if they insist behaving like rabbits, we might as well-“

The group never found out what the wizard would have proposed, because he made a sudden jolt and splashed his tea all over himself. Gale squinted through the streams of liquid running down his face and turned around.

Astarion had snuck up on them and kneed Gale in the back, making him spill his drink. Murder twinkled in the vampire‘s red eyes. Karlach and Halsin had broke out into full, body-shaking laughter, even Wyll and Lae‘zel let out a chuckle while Shadowheart just shook her head in disappointment.

„If you keep talking about Tav and me in terms of critters, I will gut you like one, wizard. And that goes for all of you“, Astarion hissed after he had leaned down to Gale who was trying to soak up the spilled beverage with some napkins.

„Please do, if you two keep insisting on being godsdamned lovebirds. You‘d be doing me a favour“, Gale replied. Astarion hissed again - but now with a dirty smirk on his face: „Well, if that‘s the case you‘re also happy to come over and watch next time, bastard.“ „You should clear that with Tav first, Astarion“, Shadowheart added dryly. The round chuckled again and now seemingly relaxed. Astarion still looked ready to spill innards but the tension in his shoulders had loosened a little.

„Yo, Tav“, Karlach shouted over to the elf after she had calmed down a bit from all the laughter „keep your guarddog in check, would ya?“ Then she laughed again. Tav just flipped her off across the room and started laughing as well.

Halsin meanwhile had finished his meal and made to get up. He walked over to Astarion and patted the vampire on the back who winced at first but relaxed quickly again. „Maybe keep it down a little next time, so we can all keep being friends, eh?“, the druid offered in a friendly manner and smiled at the vampire.

Astarion made to protest: „I‘m not your…“ But then he stopped while his gaze wandered over this unlikely party of adventurers and back to Tav as well and realised the druid was right: they were, all of them, his friends.

[koishiro]

# - 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔

masterlist | bllk masterlist | upcoming anon asks

Isagi Yoichi

He’d start off slow, gentle. Isagi would cup your cheek with one hand while he slowly moves his head side to side, trying to get as close to you as possible — wanting to melt into you and become one. He’d want no space between you and would shift his body closer every few minutes while his free hand numbly caresses your thigh.

But he’s adaptable and you know this. He gradually starts to become rougher, more forceful as he lets out small grunts here and there while the hand that was cupping your cheek moves to the back of your head, pushing your faces impossibly closer.

Isagi would even let a few words slip in between kisses; “you taste so good, so good”. He’d start grabbing at whatever flesh he can - even let his hands wander beneath your shirt.

“You’re so good to me baby, God, I can’t get enough”

Itoshi Sae

Itoshi would be a romantic, he would take his time and if you try and speed the kiss up he’d hold your face in his hands to keep you in place - he’s in no rush when it comes to you so let him take his time.

He’d definitely groan into the kiss when you wrap your arms around his neck and run your fingers through his hair. Just the sight of you trying to lean up as much as you can is enough to give into your desires.

When the kiss gets more forceful he’ll start acting more desperate in a way - grabbing at anything be can, pulling you closer by your waist, anything. And he’s most definitely a neck kisser, nipping, licking and sucking on your neck just to get a rise out of you along with a few teasing words of course.

“What’s the rush baby? Lemme take my time with you, we have all night don’t we?”

Nagi Seishiro

Nagi’s a lazy kisser, like Sei he takes his time. He’d be sat down leaning against the couch with his arm wrapped around your shoulders to keep you in place while the other rests on your lap or thigh. He’d have a dreamy smile on his face, sometimes opening his eyes to see your own face before returning his attention to the kiss.

Nagi would hum and pull you closer with his arm not bothering with words since hey waste too much energy. He’d pull away at times to move his face in a different position but if you pull away Nagi will follow you - chasing your lips for more.

He’s easily drunk on your kisses, especially with the way you run your hands through his hair, combing and massaging his scalp while you give him your undivided attention.

“Mm come back, where r’you goin’, wanna kiss s’more”

Itoshi Rin

This boy is known to have self control yet all of this goes down the drain when he’s with you - he loses himself in your kisses, mind numb and heart throbbing. He’d push you up against any surface possible to trap you and devour you whether that be the kitchen counter, couch or wall.

Rin would make animalistic growls almost, as if he’s hinting down his prey. He’d roughly grab yours hips or ass, sometimes lifting you to wrap your legs around him in order to get as close as physically possible.

It would be as if he was transported to another world by the way he was losing himself as if on autopilot, not caring about anything else in that moment. It’s almost a stress reliever for him.

“You like this huh? You like me being rough? Wan’ me show you what else we could do?”

Bachira Meguru

Bachira is very. . . enthusiastic. He’s also very greedy when it comes to your kisses, always wanting more. Like Nagi, if you pull away Bachira will chase you down until you’re connected once more.

Because he’s so enthusiastic, energetic and greedy he’ll be a messy kisser; quite rough and sloppy and seems like he’s in a rush as if he’d die if he wasn’t attached to you at all times.

Bachira is is very vocal when it comes to this as well, whimpering and releasing light moans while he tells you how good you feel (which is barely audible considering how hard he’s kissing you)

“Gimme more - no don’t pull away, one more c’mon, jus’ one more kiss I promise”

— 𝘒𝘰𝘪 𝘹𝘰

[fullsunised]

hii first of all i really really love💛 your fics, its such an easy read. i was wondering could you write dreamies when they want to be babyied(? like maybe they want to sit on your lap)

ɴᴄᴛ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ¹⁵: ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʙᴀʙʏɪᴇᴅ

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ genre: fluff

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ trigger warnings: none for the first time ( oh, swear words )

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ requests open

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ a/n: thank you for thr request and the love means a lot. hopefully this is what you wanted. keep loving my work </33. smth is wrong with this.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

he's just gonna pout. him pouting is a rare occasion, which is why he knows that's your bare weakness. is gonna sit on the corner of the couch, with the cutest pout on his face. if you were busy with schedules, you'd ruffle his hair but if you aren't, he's pulling you down onto the couch with him.

rests his head on your lap, and loves it when you play with his hair. man just melts into your arms when you do that. isn't very vocal about what he wants because he knows you'd understand him.

you'll be playing soft music in the background, his head on your lap, your hands in his hair, and boy is trying his best not to shut his eyes and drift of to sleep CAUSE HE NEEDS IT SO MUCH.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗨𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗔𝗡𝗚 ❞

grabby hands? man he's the cutest lil thing ever, stop. anyways, he's just on the couch, with his hands stretched into the air asking you to hold him. he's like a little baby. more than being word vocal, he's whiny.

probably gets irritated by every little thing, and that's when you know he's wanting some pampering? loves sitting on your lap, even if you are smaller than him, specially like sits on your lap, his head against your chest, a bowl of popcorn in his lap, and you are binging films.

run your bloody fingers through his hair pls, who doesn't like that honestly. PURRS LIKE A FUCKING CAT. best part fr. loves sitting on your lap just in all, and watching you do your everyday tasks.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗘𝗡𝗢 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

more of a snuggler type. is gonna let you sit on his lap, cup his cheeks and kiss his face. or you two are laying across the bed, legs all tangled, his head resting on your chest, breathing evenly against his soft skin and you know he's loving life very then.

doesn't really ask you to baby him, just happens considering how in a week he's taking care of you for five days, the two are yours to go ;)) loves watching movies with his head on your lap, or with his head on your chest, his hand tucked under your's.

lmao, deffo will slide into your shirt and just stay there. prefers being on your chest more than your lap, because he loves listening to your heartbeat. loves it when you just dedicate a whole day just for him, cooking, baking and just having fun.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗛𝗔𝗘𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗟𝗘𝗘 ❞

legit a koala. ( love him sm). boy is clinging all the time, doesn't even let go even if you have to go to the toilet. doesn't even let you go see your manager or some like that for world related shit. if he decides to be the baby that day, you better stop every activity in the world for him.

bro is just gonna plop onto your lap, wrap his legs and arms around your waist, and rest his head in the crook of your neck (so cute, I'm gonna cry). loves smelling that perfume he got for you, LOVES IT EVEN MORE WHEN YOU ARE JUST THERE TO ATTEND TO ALL HIS NEEDS.

give him them extra little kisses, pecks and snuggles all over his face and body. tell him how much you appreciate him, whisper comforting nothings into his ear. (BRO IM GONNA CRY) just tell him you are there if he ever wants to rest and boy is planning to marry you (this ring finger is waiting for you bbg).

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗡 𝗡𝗔 ❞

pouts. that's all. ONG HES GONNA DO THAT BABY TALK MATE. might as well start talking in third person. 'nAnA iS sAd'. does that unconsciously, so you definetly understand him before he pulls shit like this. babying him is your unconscious practise.

but bro does he love it when you baby talk him, make his hair, do his makeup, apply his lip balm, basically make sure he doesn't lift a finger. also the type to snuggle into the crook of your neck. loves you cupping his cheeks and bombarding him with kisses.

ahh, man has these days atleast thrice a week, so prepare- how did I forget, loves it when you do his skincare. just that masks, and creams and shit.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗘 𝗭𝗛𝗢𝗡𝗚 ❞

his eyes are droopy, when he pushes you onto your bed, jumping onto your figure, with his whole body weight and no you can't whine about how heavy he feels because all he wants to do is to rest in your arms.

massaging his back and shit while he sleeps really does help ease everything. is a sucker for you washing his hair, just all that care you put into doing his hair before bed, bro adores you honestly. that's the only way he accepts himself to be babied.

also, the type to expect you to drop everything as soon as he calls, cause trust he would do that for you. and you do, so in the end, boy is resting on you slightly snoring while your fingers are pressed against his bare back.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° ✧. ┊  ❝ 𝗝𝗜𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 ❞

embarrassed. but guess when you get really really close, he's being a tall baby all the time. there isn't a time where you don't baby him, even while your normal lifing, but when he needs like extra extra attention and care, he's giving you them puppy eyes.

literally pushes you onto the couch, rests his head on your lap and makes sure you are not moving for the next five hours or so. he's gonna do all that and then apologise for your sore legs. anyways, just loves listening to you talk, your voice is his favourite comfort.

would prefer baby talk but he'd rather avoid it cause his members do that all the time. just needs you to tell him he's doing great and shit cause bro he needs it. like so bad. in general, just the type to lay on your legs or tummy, while you play with his fingers. you get me.

©️FULLSUNISED.

[slytherinshua]

&TEAM AS NEWJEANS SONGS

genre. headcanon. warnings. none. featuring. &team. wc. 432. a/n. this is very based on vibes lmao but this was a lot harder than i thought it would be. i hope it's fun tho!!

EUIJOO as ditto.

sometimes i look at this man and just think that he would fit perfectly in the ditto mv. especially when he's wearing glasses. i feel like he fits the vibes, the aesthetic, and i could see him in a ditto romance yk?? and when he smiles its very like a school crush vibe 🫶

my feelings for you like the memories we share have grown so big summer's already gone and it's autumn been waiting all this time

FUMA as cool with you.

fuma was rly rly hard but i eventually decided on cool with you. it's more of a dreamy vibe than the rest of newjean's upbeat songs and fuma (due to his stark features) often gives me more of a gentle vibe than a bright one.

and i think i like your point of view you can come back i don't care what other people say don't let go dreaming of each other

KEI as new jeans.

just even kei's existence in &team when he was almost in enhypen feels like a new start. he's with a different group so he is different, if that makes sense. and i just feel like he's so right for &team and he's found himself and that vibe is exactly what new jeans is.

look, it's a new me switched it up, who's this? so fresh, so clean the day we've been waiting for finally feeling so right

NICHOLAS as hype boy.

listen, nicho is a hype boy. he's a star and personally i think he really stands out in &team. he's often the first one people notice in the group and his vibe is just so fresh and unique, very much how hype boy was as a song when it first came out.

i won't listen to no one nothing same about you, none maybe you could be the one 'cause I know what you like, boy you're my chemical hype boy

YUMA as attention.

hehehe this might just be me as a raging yuma bias but yuma just!! gives!! attention!! vibes!! he's so playful and bright and fun and energetic and just <3333 very much attention to me! definitely looking for attention when it's yuma involved skjdks.

you give me butterflies, you know? my heart has gone to paradise got me confusеd but one thing's for sure i know you're thе one got me looking for attention

JO as super shy.

have you even seen this boy??? he is so super shy coded it's actually ridiculous. his ears get so red when hes shy he literally gives the introvert-too-flustered-to-ask-their-crush-out vibes. he just gives the fluttery bright crush sound 💗

'm super shy, super shy i'm all nervous 'cause you're on my mind all the time i wanna tell you but I'm super shy my eyes suddenly sparkle when you say i'm your dream

HARUA as hurt.

harua has always been the softest member to me. he's smaller than the others and has softer more delicate features than the others. so i had to give him the softest newjeans song. the swinging vocals in the song and the more relaxed vibe are so harua coded.

don't want you to just say the words you should come and show me first i'm not gonna be the one to get hurt wait in silence, that's my way but I'm not like this every day

TAKI as asap.

taki is so fun and spirited <3 like he's just very eager in the way he acts. the playful vibes that he has really remind me of the almost impatience that the asap has with the tik-tok-tik-tok constantly in the background of the song. it feels like buzzing which is also very taki.

there's this one more thing i'll show you come with me so much to do and lots to see asap baby hurry up don’t say maybe

MAKI as omg.

omg is so upbeat and fun. maki gives the energy of an actual puppy so it just fits so perfectly. i also feel like the "they keep on asking me who is he?" line really suits maki. he rly stands out in a playful way <3

Oh my, oh my God, I knew this would happen I was really hoping that he will come through No I can never let him go I only think of you, twenty-four I'm going crazy right?

↳ &team taglist: @yeonjuns-redhair,, @kpoprhia,, @weird-bookworm,, @edensgardenn,, @cyberpunksunwoo

[randomvarious]

Chicago House Playlist

Alright, folks, here's something that's been a long time coming: a playlist of house tunes that came from the city that gave birth to the global phenomenon in the first place, and also kickstarted the whole evolution of electronic dance music as we currently know it. When house music began, most dancefloors had moved on from disco to a mishmash of post-disco, boogie, hi-NRG, dance-pop, synthy funk, electro, freestyle, and a whole lot of other stuff, but there was something different that started to brew itself into a movement during the mid-1980s among a predominantly black, gay crowd in the city where disco had first been symbolically murdered in 1979.

And eventually, it became known as house music, named after both The Warehouse, the place that the genre's godfather, Frankie Knuckles, would have residency, and the posters that would be hung up to advertise the venue's events, which referred to 'house parties' and 'house music.' The Warehouse would open up in the late 70s and close in the early 80s, but in 1983, Frankie would open up his own club, The Power House, which would then change its name to the Power Plant, and then change its name again to The Music Box, after another legendary house DJ, Ron Hardy, would take up residency there.

So, a lot of this playlist channels the greatness of some of those halcyon Chicago house days. And so much of it is just pure, primordial dance music bliss; lighthearted, unserious, super fun, revolutionary grooves. There was an amateurishness to a lot of it back then that gave it a significant level of goofy charm, and that's something that seems to have gotten mostly left behind as the music continued to grow into the 90s. Songs like "Move Your Body," by Marshall Jefferson, which opened with this rich and clanging, jauntily unpolished piano rag of sorts, was so infectious, and his plainly bad, but passionate singing voice that would follow that iconic intro couldn't help but be adored too. And the song on this playlist that currently comes after that one, "Love Can't Turn Around," by Farley "Jackmaster" Funk & Jesse Saunders, is in much the same vein, as featured vocalist Darryl Pandy goes over-the-top berserk to start his second verse, making for another song that you really just can't resist 🥰.

Another total favorite of mine on here is one that was produced by Frankie Knuckles himself: "Let the Music Use You," by the Night Writers, which is a near-eight minute masterpiece that has a divine, string-pad-and-bell-laden beat that immediately shows you why Frankie was revered as such a master of his own craft. And that beat gets paired beautifully with Ricky Dillard's soft and tender, heartfelt vocals too.

And then there's Kevin Irving's "Children of the Night," which features his excellent, soulful voice on a beat that combines string pads with prickly electro stabs, and was made by Larry Sherman, the founder of the most important label in the history of Chicago house itself, Trax Records, which has also caught a lot of flak over the years for its shady business practices.

A couple more notes: first, be forewarned that the track that starts this playlist is another tremendous classic, "Mind Games," by Quest— which features the voice of Liz Torres and some great and dreamy freestyle-type synth work—but even though it's on Spotify, it is, unfortunately, pretty damn scratchy. Luckily, I was able to include a much cleaner version on the YouTube version of this playlist, though 😊. And second, I like to keep these playlists as chronologically ordered as possible, but I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out when Screamin' Rachael's "Bip Bop" was actually made. It has an aggressive male rap vocal on it that's reminiscent of Turbo B's on Snap!'s "The Power," so it could be from that early 90s period, but I really don't know. So I just put it at the end, where it will stay until I one day possibly figure out when it was actually created.

This playlist is ordered as chronologically as possible and links are provided below to songs that have been posted about previously in order to give them more context:

Quest - "Mind Games" Marshall Jefferson - "Move Your Body" Farley "Jackmaster" Funk & Jesse Saunders - "Love Can't Turn Around" On the House - "Pleasure Control" Housemaster Boyz - "House Nation" Ralphi Rosario - "You Used to Hold Me" Night Writers - "Let the Music Use You" Dalis - "Rock Steady" Kevin Irving - "Children of the Night" Bam Bam - "Where's Your Child?" Paul Johnson - "3rd Dimension (Remixed by Armando)" Screamin' Rachael - "Bip Bop"

And while there are some incredible moments in that Spotify playlist, I still have way more Chicago house music to show you in the YouTube version. Some tracks that stand out in this bonus crop are the first one, the silly and campy "Undercover," by Doctor Derelict, which has about 3,500 plays on YouTube across a couple uploads; another one from Frankie Knuckles, which is a rare remix of his very popular "Baby Wants to Ride" that has ~31.6K plays, and features some political opining from vocalist Jamie Principle, and even a detouring interpolation of "America the Beautiful" in its second half (😆); and then one from a later era of Chicago—'99, to be exact—called "Testing & Balancing," by Jimminy Cricket, aka James Curd, that has around 170 plays and liberally samples from Al Green's soul classic, "Love & Happiness."

Doctor Derelict - "Undercover" Jungle Wonz - "The Jungle" Steve "Silk" Hurley - "House Beat Box" On the House - "Ride the Rhythm"Libra Libra - "I Like It" Paris Grey - "Don't Make Me Jack" Liz Torres - "Can't Get Enough" Frankie Knuckles - "Baby Wants to Ride" On the House - "Let's Get Busy" Mister Lee - "Come to House" Jimminy Cricket - "Testing & Balancing"

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So, with the Spotify version of this playlist, we currently have 12 songs that total an hour and 16 minutes, and with YouTube, we're at 23 songs that total 2 hours and 24 minutes. Clearly, there are a whole lot more goodies in that YouTube one.

And if you want a Chicago house playlist that's a bit shorter, I have one that's made of stuff that's solely from the 80s too.

1980s Chicago House: Spotify / YouTube / YouTube Music

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[subskz]

Hey! New anon here, I was wondering if you could write a quick smut on making sub ot8 skz squirt? Dom!fem reader is preferred please<3

(I LOVE YOUR WORK!)

hihi, welcome! ^_^ i’ve actually written fics abt this for chan, lino, and felix which you can read here!! i also just finished writing one for binnie, it’ll be up soon 🙏 i might eventually write abt the rest of the boys squirting but for now here’s a quick thought abt hyune since i have an idea for him~

and thank you so much, i’m happy you enjoy it! <3

i can see hyune being interested in trying gauze stimulation (where you soak gauze in lube/lotion and rub it along his glans to create a pleasurable friction) he’s a little bit of a masochist and his body is super reactive, so he’d be curious to know what it feels like to have the rough material dragging along a spot as sensitive as the head of his dick. and as exepcted he’s insanely weak for it. the moment you drape the cloth over his tip and start rolling it with your palm he’s gasping so loud, throwing his hand over his mouth and trying not to shrink away from the new sensation bc it feels so good—too good, he can’t take more than a little bit at a time. it gets harder for him to control his body the more the stimulation builds up and before you know it, he’s writhing in the sheets, trying to escape from the gauze and rut into it at the same time. he’d go extra crazy if you spread out the fabric as thin as possible and pulled it back and forth directly over his tip. the pleasure is so intense it aches, the contrast of the rough fibers and slick lube creates the perfect amount of discomfort and relief to make him absolutely dizzy

we all know how vocal hyune is so you’d be in for a show of loud, filthy moan after moan that he can’t even think to be embarrassed abt in the moment. he just throws his head back against the pillows and lets himself get swallowed up by the feeling. when he’s close, his moans get more and more broken until he’s whimpering with every drag of ur hand, maybe even tearing up bc he’s so overwhelmed and the pleasure just keeps coming. all he can manage to get out is “please, please, please” but poor hyune doesn’t even know whether he’s begging you to let him cum or begging you to slow down so he’ll last longer. in the back of his hazy mind he registers that the coil tightening in his abdomen feels a lot stronger than usual, and he tries to warn you that something’s coming, but it just comes out as another slurred whine when he’s this breathless and disoriented with a mouth full of drool. his hips stutter into the gauze and he cums hard, so hard that the fluid spurts through the material and completely drenches it with his release

you can see his stomach muscles clenching in a wild rhythm, and the sob he lets out makes your spine tingle, so high-pitched and shaky like borderline scream because he’s never felt something so intense before. it’s a super passionate reaction even by hyune’s standards. he’s way too dazed to realize what’s happened at first, he lies there panting beautifully in a wreck of what he thinks is just his own sweat and cum in the bunched up sheets, but as you pull the soaked gauze off his dick you realize that was not a normal orgasm. he flinches when he feels a few drops dribble down his hypersensitive cock and thighs, and when he blinks his dreamy eyes open he sees you holding up the dripping cloth to show him the mess he made. he gives a full-body shudder when you squeeze out the gauze and splatter his release all over his chest and stomach like your own personal canvas <3

poor baby would be a little to exhausted to even feel ashamed abt what he just did in the moment, but once he comes back to his senses he’s a humiliated mess. you can’t bring it up around him for days afterwards bc he’d immediately go beet red and put his head in his hands with a cute, mortified groan until you stop teasing him. but make no mistake he loved every bit of it, just remembering the instance gets heat pooling in his abdomen. he would become a little obsessed with trying to squirt again afterwards, it makes his heart flutter like nothing else to know that you can have that effect on his body and make him cum in ways he didn’t even know he was capable of. he falls deep into subspace when it happens and there’s always such a cute disconnect in how filthy he gets for you vs. how shy is abt it later

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | 조팬텀 x 손크리 Review 4/6

October 13, 2023 - Matinée

The Phantom of the Opera | 조승우 Jo Seung-woo

Christine Daaé | 손지수 Sohn Ji-soo

Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny | 송원근 Song Won-geun

Carlotta Giudicelli | 이지영 Lee Ji-young

Final boss of ticketing, Jo Seung-woo! The last one I snatched out of the four in one single ticketing after an hour of suffering. He's a pretty big actor who sells out shows quickly and has also been in dramas and movies. By the time you make it into one of his schedules' seating charts, the seats are all grayed out. So I had to keep refreshing and playing fucking whack-a-mole with the single color specks for any released seats that would pop up. One time I even even made it all the way to confirming payment and it said someone else took it. I actually thought I was about to turn into the Joker. But I am stronger! I won! And after seeing his performance in person? It was worth the fight.

I'll start this off with this tweet:

Shoutout to the guy next to me that was in shambles crying through his binoculars I hope he lived. Admittedly I did get teary-eyed myself! Which is quite an accomplishment even if it wasn't full blown tears like when seeing Ju-taek because I thought I was immune to this show after so long! But this is like uber sad pathetic wet cat man. My seat was actually a great unobstructed view with lots of space in the aisle. The Charlotte is so small that absolutely any view here is a good one especially if you have a pair of opera glasses/binoculars. Also I was safe from the piercing screams of the ballet girls! Hurray!

Hannibal Rehearsal

I really thought "I'll only use my binoculars for the major scenes with the trio because it's too tiring to hold them up", but that was a lie because I loved observing the supporting cast and ensemble too much. This time I watched for the smaller details like Christine quietly singing along to herself on the side while Carlotta was singing 'Think of Me'. Both Christines do it, but I remembered to look for it this show :') Kim Ah-seon had been clearly still recovering from being sick the previous performances, but I think she finally had her strength again this show. I love how elegant and dignified she is and her strong line delivery

The Mirror

Hearing Raoul's voice made the Phantom shoot a dark glare towards the dressing room door. Then, with the slightest smirk, he invited Christine into the mirror. Is somebody proud they managed to swipe the girl from the pretty young rich boy tonight? Ha

First Lair | POTO / MOTN / STYDI

Even if he's like...the most sad sewer creature-y of the Phantoms he's still got his charm okay! His voice isn't very strong, but I think he was able to handle it well enough during my show. He sounds older than he is actually is to me. How do I elaborate without making it sound backhanded? Even though he struggles in some areas with his singing, I think his vocal color is still suited for the energy his Phantom has. I'm just going to have to hope you understand me 😭 Whatever he lacks in that department, he certainly makes up for it in acting. It seems like he never stops onstage, like he's always making so many little choices at every moment. So it was a bit hard to keep track of everything he did because he was constantly doing something and was really immersed. I liked the sort of dreamy delivery of the beginning lines like the whispered way he sings "어둠...속에 - in the darkness". Halfway through the song he seems to build a little more enthusiasm seeing how open she is to him. He used more soft hand movements to act out certain parts of the lyrics like both his ear and then his body when he sang 들어, 느껴 - hear it, feel it". It's like really wanted to paint a clear picture of his mysterious beautiful dark world of music for Christine. I liked when he did a gesture with his hands like energy bursting free when he sang his big note in “네 영혼 다시 태어날 순간 / The moment your soul will be reborn” (let your soul take you where you long to be). This version of the line is unique to his Phantom. He smiled a lot and although he had a bit of a slight odd nervous energy, he still managed to maintain eye contact with her most of the time. Once he finally held her, he rested his head on her shoulder and whispered his words into her ear. 👀 He looked really worried and tried to catch her when she fell. After putting the cloak on her, I think he went to touch her, but stopped himself feeling a bit nervous. He put his hand on his chest instead to finish his final note

"Fake it til you make it" was working so well until it wasn't. Whatever confidence he built up during MOTN...bye. He's a little scary at the end when he shrieks out the 'Curse you!' and an extra 'No!' But most of all he's just really sad. When he asked her "what did you hope to see?" while chasing her, his voice sounded hurt and there was fear in his eyes. Like why, why did you have to be curious when I actually had it under control somehow? He slid slowly to the ground in defeat halfway through the song when he began the crawl. He eventually stopped making an effort to cover his face on his way toward her. Maybe he was so destroyed he didn't have the energy to. I liked how natural his acting felt here. It was tragic without being over the top. But I felt this about a lot of his choices in general

All I Ask of You (Reprise)

What a sad little man, completely a wreck. He covered his ears pleading "그만 제발 그만 크리스틴 다에 ! - Stop, please stop, Christine Daaé!" There should be a Christine Daaé name drop counter for Jo Phantom. He loves to say her name!!

Why So Silent? / Notes II

Taking focus away from the main roles for a moment, André is sooo extra stressed by this point. He fumbled the score when the Phantom tossed it to him. He does this every show, but this time I only just noticed him quickly doing sign of the cross during Notes II when they were opening up letters. He got super jumpy Also, Firmin and André start laughing to each other and making silly gestures making fun of Piangi when the Phantom starts attacking him in his note, but as soon as he addresses them, oh it suddenly really wasn't funny anymore!

The Point of No Return

Somebody help this man he already got jumpy simply just hearing her start to sing. 🤭 JSW Phantom seemed like the weakest one here across from Christine. He’s writhing terribly and gripping himself He was startled the most when she was close behind and he began to tremble. But when Christine finally touches him he moaned a little. It wasn't very loud, but it definitely was there and he threw his head back. His hands reached up to his face as he looked up before he finally held hers. This proposal was a mess. He got down on one knee at one point, but then he got too freaked out and shot right back up again as if he realized it was too vulnerable of a position to be in. When he was unmasked, he didn't scream and it was actually really heartbreaking to me. Like I do love a good scream, but ouch. His face dropped and he froze in complete shock looking like he'd been stabbed in the heart. His eyes darted around for a moment seeing everyone watching him like a trapped animal. It took him a moment to snap out of his daze and run off with her.

Down Once More / Final Lair

After throwing Christine, he almost looked regretful like he realized he was too hard, but then tried to push forward. Because he was fueled by anger, he didn't hide his face away as much like usual. It was still clear he was very actively disgusted by it. He touched his face for a moment after he let go of her and then immediately wiped his hand on his thigh. This performance he was actually able to look into her eyes when giving her the bouquet instead of looking down in shame. When he picked up the mirror bride to toss her he sang his lines into her ear in a whisper and actually very gently just plopped her on the ground instead of throwing her. I love this weird little detail I won't lie...it was kinda cute and silly that he had to hop a little to reach Won-geun's neck with the lasso haha. It's not supposed to be cute but I find it cute okay. He covered his ears while crying when she was coming over to him before the kiss :( After the first kiss it looked like he put his face in her shoulder for a moment, but still didn't have his hands on her. He seemed to give in a little for a second, but then took her hand off his head, looked at it for a moment, and gently wiped it with his sleeve like he couldn't let her have his filth taint her... When he approached Raoul with the candle, he could almost barely be heard whispering "Raoul de Chagny..." slowly in a chilling way before releasing him and turning away. I think he harbors the most bitterness towards Raoul out of the Phantoms. He's the most insecure one, and Raoul is everything he'll never be. He fell and pressed his head into the ground roughly while shaking when he screamed for them to leave him. And his scream was so painful and raw I don't know how he lets that out. He stayed like this for a while before he crawled clumsily and quickly towards the monkey in desperate need of any kind of comfort. He put his forehead head against it, closed his eyes tightly and held it so closely while he sang Masquerade. Christine came back and he tried to fix his hair and clothes before going to her I think SJS Christine was a good match for his interpretation of the Phantom because of how unconditionally compassionate she is. He was very fragile and she's very caring and gentle. I think she really did view JSW Phantom as her guardian and guide and had a very pure deep kind of love for him. Maybe not romantic love, but it was very strong either way. She watched him closely in the boat as she left, but he was facing the other way gripping her veil, repeating her name over and over. He turned at the last moment and called out "Christine Daaé!" one more time to her running over to take in the sight of her one last time. His final lines are actually different from the other Phantoms. It only just hit me the other day that they're the same as the lines from the original production in 2001-2. No idea why it took me that long to make the connection, but I found it interesting enough to note!

I really want to do musical promo time, but I really don't think what's on youtube does him justice. So let me just say his 2019 Jekyll/Hyde + Sweeney Todd and his Hedwig? Incredible. There's a reason for that ticket selling power he has and I say that completely unbiased!

Also lol at the person in front of me on the plane to Seoul that was watching his movie 'The Classic' because I was like "oh hey it's you I'm seeing you in a few days"

[mr-miss-anonymous]

Himbo First Aid?

It’s probably a pretty gradual process for him. He’s already a pretty sexual bot by nature, so for him, it doesn’t exactly come off as a surprise when he starts feeling excessively horny? At least, not at first. However, the more time goes by, the more he starts to feel *horny* and *lazy* and much, much less driven. After a while, First Aid is practically stuck to his berth, his processor filled with no thoughts other than “horny so horny wanna suck someone off wanna get laid so so horny.” It’s not an urgent thing, but it’s certainly the only thing he can think about.

After he fails to come in for his shift the third day in a row, Ratchet becomes a little suspicious. Aid has stopped answering his comms altogether, despite the fact that *Ambulon’s* frequency is practically blowing up at all hours with messages from the young medic. When his curiosity gets the best of him, Ratchet goes off to take a look. He’s pretty surprised to find Aid sprawled out on his berth, panels retracted, mask removed, hand lazily stroking his spike as he lays there in absolute bliss.

At first, it almost seems like a sort of heat/rut cycle issue. However, when days turn into weeks and still First Aid has yet to come out of this strange daze, Ratchet quickly throws it off the table. It’s not exactly ideal—there’s currently only the three of them on the ship, and medics are always in short supply, so having one of their own “clock out” so to speak is damaging. Still, there’s something sort of addicting about the way First Aid treats his partners’ spikes so well. It takes a while, but once Ratchet finally relents and allows First Aid to crawl under the table and suck him off as he works, he’s *immediately* hooked.

First Aid no longer wears his mask these days. Really, there’s just no need, especially when there’s a willing bot around almost every corner just waiting to get their spike sucked. He typically lingers around the medibay, though, happy to do small things like supply runs or assist with handing out tools here and there—that is, when he isn’t kneeling on the floor with either Ambulon or Ratchet’s dick in his mouth.

The stress levels among the crew (mostly the medics though) have dropped tremendously, and First Aid has pretty much become their honorary sex toy. He definitely enjoys his new role, though, and seems to get lots of satisfaction out of it. He isn’t nearly as vocal nowadays, though, usually only speaking when he’s in need of some energon to refuel or needs to beg Ambulon to let him crawl under his desk and give his spike a little love (Ambulon relents every time, by the way). One of his favorite things about the practice, though, is when the bots he’s servicing let him grind against their pede. He gets pretty loud sometimes, though, so neither Ratchet nor Ambulon let him do it during important procedures or medical checkups with patients.

Some texaid for fellow shippers here: the very nanosecond Vortex hears about First Aid’s new, er… *practice*, he doesn’t hesitate to swoop in and steal him away. Usually when he’s coming in for an occasional kidnapping of his favorite little medic, there’s at least *some* form of resistance, but not this time. Almost immediately First Aid clings to him, servos drifting lower and lower to take in his Decepticon lover, optics dazed and dreamy behind his visor, frame hot to the touch.

As Vortex had expected, Brawl makes some snide comment about letting the entire gestalt have a go at his pretty little pet, but Vortex is *adamant* about the fact that First Aid is *his* and only his. He keeps First Aid close after that, and the entire time he’s got him in his possession, he never lets the medic leave the berthroom… nor does *he* leave.

First Aid isn’t exactly the same quirky little medic Vortex first began to admire, but hell, he’s *good* with his mouth. He’s cute, too, makes the sweetest little sounds when Vortex pulls away to give his valve a good frag. The cuddles are nice, too. Sure, things aren’t exactly the same as he remembers, but this new side of First Aid isn’t all that bad.

[nctsmess]

Eunjae’s Relationships with: NCT Dream

Mark:

You can’t tell by how close and comfortable these two are now, but it took a while for Mark to get close to Eunjae

When Eunjae was still a trainee she had many high highs↗ but also many low lows ↘ and everything in between

She was very hard for Mark to understand and it definitely took him a second to even approach her

One day Eunjae noticed Mark having a hard time explaining something in Korean to another Korean trainee, so she walked up to them and told Mark to tell her whatever he needed to say in English so she could relay the message in Korean

Ever since Mark grew somewhat curious of Eunjae

She was weird to say the least, but it wasn’t a bad kind of weird at all

So Mark decided it wasn’t too bad of an idea to get to know Eunjae a bit more and he was happy he did because when SM told them she was debuting in NCT they were already close pals

Eunjae sometimes takes his role as the “group’s leader” too seriously and she looks at him as some kind of mentor

Mark had to reassure her that “hey, we’re friends, I’m not more or better than you. I’m just here to make sure things don’t get too chaotic.” Looks at Jeno holding Haechan in a choke hold “Well, I’m trying at least.”

You know how some idols are just weirdly in sync with random things they do?

That’s Mark and Eunjae for you

Eunjae also genuinely laughs at Mark’s dumb jokes (they both laugh super easily) and Dream’s just like: ??? “That’s funny to you?”

Mark’s super proud when he makes her laugh so soft

Talking in English in front of the dreamies to tease/annoy them? YUP! They understand them more now, so they don’t do it often anymore

All in all, super soft, cute, adorable relationship 10/10 would recommend

Renjun:

Renjun didn’t really like Eunjae that much when he joined SM

She was very outspoken and sometimes it came across as rude to Renjun

He felt like she was using her “seniority” to command other trainees around, but she was just trying to help out

When Eunjae realised Renjun didn’t seem to like her, she felt a bit hurt, annoyed and even confused, because “What did I ever do to him?”

Renjun is also known for not having the most patience some times, so when Eunjae started training with them and was struggling with basic dance moves his patience would run out a bit too quickly and Eunjae would catch him rolling his eyes multiple times at things she did wrong

It actually took the other members telling him he should be more patient for him to actually give Eunjae a chance

He’d start to see how much she actually practised and realised her lack of progress and skill wasn’t because she was lazy or slacking off

After that he felt really bad for judging her so quickly and even though he was just stressed sometimes because of his trainee life, he knew he couldn’t blame his previous behaviour on that

Even though the side glances and eye rolls stopped after that, it took until just a few months before Dream’s debut that Renjun and Eunjae started being actual friends

Now they’re the perfectly balanced duo

Renjun’s directness contrasts Eunjae’s naivety very well

When Renjun runs out of patience, Eunjae either tells the boys to hurry up or she stands by Renjun to “calm him down” or just keep his mind off things until the rest are ready

Also: vocals

You know how Renjun already sounds like and angel, but also loves harmonising with the other members?

Yeah get yourself Renjun harmonising with Eunjae and you’ll believe you’re in heaven

EunJun/JaeJun: A solid “started from the bottom now we’re here”/10 & a “shipname still pending...”

Jeno:

Out of all the members, Jeno and Jaemin probably understand Eunjae better than she understands herself

While the other Dream members kind of let her do her own thing while looking out for her, Jeno keeps Eunjae in check

You’ll see Jeno motioning to her to calm down (politely) when she (often with the rest of the maknae line) is getting too rowdy, or tell her to pay attention when she doesn’t notice someone else is talking

If necessary Jeno will carefully pull or push her around when they are in busy places to make sure she doesn’t get lost in the crowd

Overall Jeno and Eunjae are pretty chill

They enjoy having calm conversations and love “complaining” about how the other members never help in the dorm

Old grandparents vibes coming from these two and it annoys the other members to the core, but that just more fuel for those two to continue

When the members say that the way Jeno acts sometimes makes him look like he’s the maknae, it’s a 100 percent true

He usually denies it though, but when it comes to Eunjae he secretly loves being babied by her👀

He won’t go out of his way and act cute for her or anything, but he won’t push her away when she coos at him, ruffles his hair or squishes his cheeks

As long as she knows he’s still older than her at the end of the day he’s fine with it

Summarising: “Go be cute somewhere else”/10

Haechan:

Food is was 100% their love language

They’d sneak out during their trainee and early idol days to get dinner or just snacks

However once she got a lot of hate for her appearance her relationship with food was never the same

Her relationship with Haechan though ;) Still as strong as ever

Outside the usual teasing (which surprisingly he doesn’t tease her that much) he has a huge soft spot for Eunjae

He won’t be too clingy or touchy on camera (because some fans be tripping sometimes yk -_-) but he’s always keeping an eye out for her

During the time that Mark wasn’t in Dream, he, Jaemin and Jeno shared custody of Eunjae

“I’m not a child. I’m only a year younger than you.”

Eunjae is old enough to take care of herself, the boys know, BUT she just has a lot of small little things she does that make the boys Haechan worry about her

Like when she gets nervous and absentmindedly shakes her legs, or when she tries to bite at the skin around her nails, or when she pulls at the loose strands of her hair, or... I think you get the point: A LOT of nervous habits

Haechan is always the one to reach out for her hand or hold her knee so she’ll stop shaking it (They sit together during interviews)

If he didn’t she’d continue without noticing what she’s doing

She reminds him of Mark (a bit too much sometimes) and we all know how Haechan looks at and treats Mark ^^

He’ll purposely say and do things to confuse Eunjae because “she’s so cute when she looks lost”

This is a “I didn’t know Haechan could be so soft for someone”/10

Jaemin:

Let’s her be her natural weird self

He’s not “normal” either so it’s only fair

Jaemin treats Eunjae the same way he treats Chenle and Jisung

With utmost adoration in his eyes

They have this thing were Eunjae stands in front of him and he only has to slightly tiptoe to rest his chin on the top of her head, or she’ll just stand with her feet a bit further apart (that’s 10 cm of difference for ya)

Jaemin loves holding her in his arms whenever they are doing a live stream together with the dreamies

Like they’ll be completely silent, sitting on the far side of the screen just minding their own business

They don’t necessarily have to be talking, but every once in a while, Jaemin will whisper something in Eunjae’s ear and she giggles and then they continue playing with each other’s hands/fingers and... NOW EVERYONE IS JEALOUS OF THEM (＞﹏＜)

He’s biased, but Eunjae is the prettiest girl in his eyes

It’s not even about her looks (though she’s stunning), but he just loves her personality, flaws and all

They can gush about each other for hours

Are the ones in charge for cooking at the dreamies (+ Sungtaro) dorm

However it’s usually Eunjae cooking, since Jaemin gave up after the boys didn’t appreciate his cooking enough

They all seem to love Eunjae’s cooking, so she cooks almost everyday when they don’t have schedules, and Jaemin is her assistant

Giving 2Jae a “You’re the apple🍎 to my pie🥧”/10

Chenle:

If it weren’t for ChenJi, ChenJae would be thriving...

NCT’s official fangirl and fanboy right here

Listen exclusively to NCT songs and know all the choreography to NCT127 songs

They’re always laughing way too loud about dumb stuff

Eunjae would call Chenle her best friend, but she knows Chenle would fake gag at that so she doesn’t 🙃

Chenle acts like Eunjae is his annoying little sister he doesn’t want to have around, but instead of pushing her away he’ll hold her arm and tell her to leave him alone... 🤔 something isn’t adding up here

These two are actually such good friends, but you rarely get to see them alone

This is ChenJiJae domain and Eunjae is okay with being the third wheel

Chenle’s house? We already know Dream just walks in even if he isn’t home, but Eunjae takes it to a whole other level

Even when Chenle isn’t in Korea, she’ll just stay at his house for days

His mother and aunt have adopted Eunjae as if she was their own child

When possible Eunjae even flies to China to visit Chenle’s house/family there and no one even bats an eye to that

They’re actually siblings I’m sure of it

Chenle also likes cooking for Eunjae

Like Eunjae will provide the main dish from their favourite restaurant and Chenle makes the side dishes and then they’ll just sit down in his dining room and talk for hours

Making Eunjae flustered and teasing her is Chenle’s favourite hobby

He’ll throw her under the bus any time (nothing too serious though)

He knows her boundaries really well, so he’ll never cross it and when he realises someone is about to cross the line, he’ll shut them up or be at Eunjae’s side to cheer her up asap

Rating their relationship at a: “best siblings, you wish you were them”/10

Jisung:

Let’s remember that Eunjae used to be taller than everyone in Dream for a second ㅠ_ㅠ

This boy has no recollection of such a thing...

Goes out there poking fun at her height

And isn’t Eunjae supposed to be older than Jisung??

Jisung doesn’t call Chenle hyung and Eunjae is only a few months older than Chenle, so he decided by himself that it would be weird for him to call Eunjae noona

“I mean, if I called you noona, wouldn’t Chenle have to call you noona too?”

The disrespect  (¬_¬'')

But don’t worry, Eunjae doesn’t actually mind, she doesn’t even notice it and for the longest time Jisung did call her noona

He will however call her noona whenever he wants something

Does it work? Not most of the time

But the few times it does makes it all worth it

He likes it when Eunjae can be herself around them, she usually has to be careful with what she does when she’s on camera

And even though she is older than him, he has this proud smile on his face when he watches her have unadulterated fun

Jisung is Eunjae’s personal dance coach

Her weakest point was always dancing, so Jisung wanted to help her

That’s why they would spent a lot of time after group practise perfecting the choreo they just learned

Fans also noticed in 2018 how Eunjae’s dancing got a lot better and she said it was all thanks to Jisung in one of her VLIVES

Eunjae is literally so thankful for everything Jisung does for her and that results in her spoiling Jisung by buying him food or other things he needs/wants

But~~~ wherever Jisung and Eunjae are, Chenle is always lurking

I’m sorry for all you toll-smoll shippers, there’s only toll-medium-smoll here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Our maknae and Eunjae get a well deserved “Cuteness overload”/10

[heliads]

everything is blue • conrisa space au • Chapter Eleven: I Still Miss You Most of All

Risa Ward escaped a shuttle destined for her certain, painful death. Connor Lassiter ran away from home before it was too late. Lev Calder was kidnapped. All of them were supposed to be dissected for parts, used to advance a declining galaxy, but as of right now, all of them are whole. Life will not stay the same way forever.

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Connor Lassiter should not be alive.

He is aware of this before he even opens his eyes, before he even wakes up at all. The knowledge is lurking somewhere in his mind without Connor being able to vocalize why it’s true. He doesn’t remember the explosion, not at first. That comes later, with the realization that he will never be wholly Connor again.

Other than the yawning maw of the terrible truth that he should have died many standard hours ago, Connor wakes to dead silence punctuated occasionally with the expensive sort of beeping only heard in nice medical zones. There’s a certain clarity to the mechanical chatter that you don’t get in haphazardly patched together med bays like the ones on the Graveyard. Connor can’t describe it with words, but he’d know it when he hears it, and he knows it now. There’s something to the fact that nothing whines or groans with exhaustion, maybe, like everything is new and actually works the way it’s supposed to. When you’re used to listening to your world collapse around you, anything that’s properly functional stands out like a sore thumb.

Connor wakes up, dreamy and relaxed. He is calm for once in his life. A voice in the back of his head tells him that isn’t right, but he shuts it out for now. Connor has been stressed for years. Can’t he have one moment to himself?

Already, though, the peace is draining away from him, collecting in puddles on this perfectly polished floor and slipping through invisible holes between the tiles. There is no grime in this room. Everything is bright and clean, and the linens covering his body are pristine white. Connor hasn’t seen something that’s actually pure white in months. Everything in the Graveyard accumulates dust and rust so quickly that it’s no use trying. It doesn’t matter how many times you wash your clothes, they’ll wear out soon enough anyway. Might as well save the effort for something that matters, like not dying.

The Graveyard. For some reason, the name of the place strikes an odd chord somewhere in Connor’s mind. He should be there now, shouldn’t he? He wasn’t supposed to leave it for a while, at least another year, but now he’s in this chamber of expensive lighting and legitimate medical equipment, so obviously something’s gone wrong there. This could be Death, but Connor doubts he’d have to deal with medical infrastructure after his heart ceased to beat.

He has the brief, horrible thought that maybe he’s been unwound and this is just some part of his brain waking up in another kid’s head, but then a nurse in crisp scrubs walks through the door and greets him with a resounding, “Good to see you awake, Connor,” so maybe he’s still himself after all.

Connor squints at her. “What’s going on?”

The nurse smiles placidly. “You’ve just woken up, of course. We’ll need to run a few tests, but after that you should be cleared to go.”

Connor frowns. “Go where?”

Her smile doesn’t waver for a second, even despite Connor’s outpouring of questions. “To meet our boss, of course. He’s been waiting for a while, but of course you can’t be blamed for your tardiness. Truthfully, we weren’t even sure if you were going to wake up at all.”

Somewhere between his ribs, Connor’s heart begins to hammer. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I wake up? Who are you?”

“Connor,” the nurse says sweetly, laying a hand on his shoulder in a gesture that’s probably meant to be comforting but comes across more like a prison warden keeping her inmate in line, “You survived an explosion that decimated an entire star cruiser. No one would blame you for succumbing to the blast.”

As she says it, the memories come back in a rush. It’s not like he’d been suffering from amnesia, more like he’d been willfully trying not to think about all of the horrors he’d just experienced. Images flash through his mind in one fatal string:  the Juveys, boarding the ship, the screaming of the Deadmen as they were dragged off to their fates, Risa, climbing into an escape pod, Connor’s own pod destroyed in a shrieking of metal come undone. Roland, chasing him down. The fight in the engine room and the resulting inferno.

Nothing makes sense after the explosion. Connor remembers Roland yelling in surprise, the sudden upheaval as the ground beneath his feet was shot away, and then falling, falling without respite. For what could either have been half a second or perhaps an eon, Connor’s mind had been a mess of confusion, like he was hearing not just his own panicked thoughts but Roland’s terrified inner monologue as well, but then everything had sorted out and Connor was just Connor, unconscious in the burning wreck of the Graveyard, utterly alone and waiting to die.

Except he hadn’t died and he had woken up here. Connor doesn’t remember getting picked up, but he hadn’t remembered a lot after losing consciousness, which is often how unconsciousness works in the first place. Another thing that Connor doesn’t remember is what happened to Risa, and that troubles him even more than whatever happened to him. What if her pod was engulfed in the blast? What if she’d come that close to getting out alive just for the Graveyard to pull her back into death?

Connor would never forgive himself. Although the explosion in the engine room wasn’t necessarily his fault– he distinctly remembers yelling at Roland to stop shooting wildly, after all– but he was still there, and that puts enough blood on his hands to paint everything in red.

Connor needs to see her. It’s an urge akin to dying of thirst, he craves the sight of her more than anything else. If he dies here and now, at least he could see her one more time before he goes. He misses her like a chopped off limb. If this is where their stories diverge, Connor thinks he will nurse this wound until he can do nothing else. He’ll lose his mind gnawing at the stump of where there was once something bright and beautiful, a girl who knew him better than anyone else and still wanted him at the end of the worlds.

Maybe she’s here. Maybe this is where they put all the victims of the explosion. “Where is she?” Connor asks, voice thick and dry.

The nurse cocks her head to the side. “Where is who?”

Connor opens his mouth to answer, but it occurs to him that, if these people aren’t one hundred percent on his side, he probably shouldn’t give them any more reasons to look for Risa, so he snaps his jaws shut again. It won’t matter anyway, they already knew Connor and Risa ran away together back at the start of it all. Even if they both die from this, their names will always be spoken together in the same breath, two halves of the same story. Connor likes that far more than he would care to admit. It only makes sense that she would be a part of him forever.

The nurse is still looking at him quizzically, so Connor starts talking again to distract her from his slip up. “So, I can leave after you declare me fit or something?”

The nurse shakes her head. “You’ll have to talk to the man in charge, of course.”

Connor nods impatiently, “Yes, but after that, I can go?”

The nurse laughs as if he’s told a funny joke, although Connor isn’t sure that he has. “Oh, no. You’re still to be distributed, of course. We’re not going to let one conversation get in the way of that.”

Connor immediately tenses up and starts to catalog all the ways he could get out of here. His body still feels a little tired, but that’s nothing. The door is at the far end of the white, shiny room, and although this nurse is between him and the exit, Connor is fairly certain he could knock her down if he needed to.

“You’re going to distribute me?” He asks, trying to buy time while he thinks of an escape plan.

“Why wouldn’t we?” The nurse queries, seemingly oblivious to the obvious answer. “Distribution benefits the galaxy, Connor. Surely you don’t think just one life is more important than all of us in the grand scheme of things. Besides, I thought you would have seen the importance of distribution by now, especially considering your arm.”

Connor’s frantic search of the room comes to an abrupt stop. “What do you mean, considering my arm?” He asks slowly.

The nurse gestures to his right arm, which up until now has been comfortably hidden beneath the pristine white linens. “It was replaced in the explosion. Funny how that works.”

Cautiously, carefully, as if expecting to see a monster instead of a limb, Connor reaches out his left arm to pull the sheets away from his right side. Immediately, he has to clap his good hand to his mouth to stifle a scream. There is still an arm attached to his right shoulder, yes, but it isn’t his. The skin is darker, the muscles stronger in unfamiliar places. And, most pressingly of all, there is the tattoo of a shark inked into the skin of the forearm that is not Connor’s. Which means, of course, that this is Roland’s arm on Connor’s body.

Connor presses himself back against the bed, trying to swallow back the wave of nausea that crests over him. He’s heard rumors of things like this happening, of course, freak accidents out in the farthest reaches of space that ended up with two people accidentally swapping parts, but  he always assumed they were just ghost stories fabricated to scare students out of making hyperspace jumps without correctly calculating their trajectories. He never thought it would actually happen to him, nor that, of all the donors, he would end up with the arm of someone who wanted to kill him. Who tried to kill him, and was shooting at Connor until his very last breath.

As if thinking along the same lines, the fingers on Connor’s stolen right arm twitch a little, forming a fist before relaxing again. Connor does not remember ever commanding the digits to move, which means that some part of Roland is still in control. The doctors saw the arm swap, obviously, but how do they know for certain that Connor’s brain wasn’t affected? What if there are still bits and pieces of Roland left in Connor’s head, never to return to normal again? When Connor thinks of Risa, when he thinks of hurting someone, will it be his own choice or Roland somehow, poisoning his mind?

Fighting back bile, Connor asks the nurse, “Can you put it back? My arm, I mean. Can you give me back my arm?”

The nurse chuckles. “That would be incredibly difficult. The donor is in a, ah, precarious position right now. The explosion decimated his body so much that even we couldn’t use it. So no, you can’t have your arm back.”

Something in Connor feels a strange sense of sick joy that these people, whoever they are, wouldn’t be able to use the rest of Roland as distributed material. He may have died, but he got out without giving in, and that’s more than most ferals can say. Again, Connor isn’t wholly certain if the thought is his or Roland’s, but regardless of the source, he gets the feeling that they’re both in agreement over this.

While Connor is at war with himself, the nurse stands, checking a few readouts on a holopad before gesturing for him to stand. “You seem in fine condition, so we’ll take you to meet the boss. He’s right down the hall. I wouldn’t want to keep him waiting for long.”

Connor eyes her closely, but the woman gives nothing away. It’s probably smart to run now, but Connor is, admittedly, a little curious to see just who’s in charge around here. There are no logos anywhere, no clue as to where he is, so getting some answers would be nice.

The second the nurse escorts Connor out of the med room, he’s greeted with the sight of at least a dozen soldiers loitering in the hall outside. So much for trying to run away. Trying to instill a sense of false bravado into his voice, Connor asks casually, “All this security for me? Gee, I’m honored you think so much of me.”

The nearest soldier glares but says nothing. So much for getting a reaction. Committed to the cause now, Connor steps in front of him, grins, and says, “Nice socks, idiot.”

The soldier glances down at his boots, confused, thus breaking his cold demeanor for what he eventually realizes is just a little trick on Connor’s end. Connor flashes him a jaunty smirk, which makes the glare return to the soldier’s face in full force. One small victory is enough for Connor, though, and he heads down the hall to his fate with his spirits high.

The nurse leads him to a door, and knocks once before ushering him inside. The door shuts tight behind him, leaving Connor with no choice but to face the man waiting for him.

They stare at each other for a long moment. Something about the guy fills Connor with a sickly sort of dread, although for the life of him, he cannot explain why. He looks a little young for someone to be treated with this sort of respect, more like mid-thirties instead of in his fifties or sixties, but this, again, feels wrong. 

As the man leans forward to get a better look at Connor, the harsh lighting overhead reveals details of his face that hadn’t been visible at first glance. Although great care has obviously been taken to ensure that each surgery was as smooth as possible, evidence of many new pieces of flesh still reveal themselves under the bright lights. The cheekbones are a little too high for his facial structure, his eyes are too bright for a man of this age, and his skin is impossibly tight and smooth. Connor has seen many rich parents with a lot of work done, but this guy beats them all out. Connor can’t imagine how many kids must have been put under the knife to keep this man looking fresh, but they probably could have filled the whole damn Graveyard.

“Who are you?” Connor hisses.

The man smiles. “Honestly, Connor, I was hoping you’d piece that together a little sooner. Here, I’ll give you a hint:  you’re speaking to the head of the Proactive Citizenry.”

Alarm bells go off in Connor’s head. Of all the people to want Connor in pieces, the PC has got to be at the top of the list. They’ve hated Connor ever since he stole that Juvey-cop’s ship what feels like a lifetime ago. Hayden, Connor, and Risa have listened in to Centerworld radio frequencies on countless nights, laughing themselves senseless over the vitriol of the pro-distribution propaganda aimed at Connor. It’s not so funny anymore, though, when Connor is in the belly of the synth-beast with no friends left to protect him.

“So, you’re the CEO or something?” Connor asks. “Fascinating. Do you meet with all of the kids you’re about to distribute? Do you like to know our tragic backstories before you steal our parts?”

The man scoffs. “We’re not stealing, Connor, we’re taking what we’re owed. And no, I’m not the CEO. Try again.”

Connor squints at him. Maybe the guy’s older than he thought. “You’re the, uh, father of the CEO? Grandfather?”

The man rolls his eyes. “Don’t be silly, Connor. I am PC. I started it.” 

Connor shakes his head. “No, that’s impossible. Proactive Citizenry is old-Earth ancient. It was made when humans first started exploring the galaxy. There’s no way even your great-grandparents could have started it.”

It’s unthinkable. Connor hasn’t brushed up on his history in a while, so he doesn’t remember the exact name of Proactive Citizenry’s creator, but it can’t be this guy. That was centuries ago. Whoever started this whole mess is long dead, their bones withered away to ash.

Unless.

Unless, of course, they found a way to stay around. Maybe the creator’s original bones are ash, but who’s to say that they couldn’t just swap them out, piece by piece? Donor by donor? Distribute by distribute?

Connor draws in a sharp, horrified breath, and the man nods, looking pleased. “You get it now, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes. I always liked the eyes, I must say. That was the part I hated getting rid of the most. I held onto my original pair for as long as I could, but they gave out in the end. Everything does. No matter what anyone tries, Connor Lassiter, resistance will get you nowhere. Even if you’re the Akron AWOL.”

Connor feels like he might throw up. “You’re the one who created the PC? You must be centuries old. There’s no way you could have kept swapping out dead body parts that long, you’d have to give out at some point.”

“Maybe if you didn’t have the money for it,” the man muses, “But that has never been a problem for me. The Heartlands have always been blessed with wealth. Any problem can be solved if you just give people a good enough reason to solve it. Money often does the trick.”

The Heartlands. That does it. Mental gears click into place, and Connor remembers the guy’s name at last. “You’re Dorian Heartland. The original supporter of distribution.”

Heartland spreads his hands indulgently, as if expecting applause. “There you go. See, maybe I’ll be able to turn a profit from your brain matter after all.”

Connor stares at him unthinkingly. “You want my brain?”

“I want all of you,” Heartland says soothingly. “That’s how distribution is meant to work, remember? No part wasted. I would love one of your eyes for myself, though. Mine are starting to get a little foggy, and I only take parts from the best characters. Having the irises of the Akron AWOL, now, that would be something. I am made of history, Connor Lassiter. Both the successes and the failures. It’s a reminder to all of my people that they can join me in two ways:  under my empire, or under my knife.”

Connor’s stomach roils. “Those aren’t all just feral parts, then. You’ve had adults unwound.”

Heartland tsks. “Naughty word, Connor. Unwinding. We’ve made it a professional process, there’s no need to degrade it like that. But yes, you’re right. The parts still work, even when they’re not young. I am made of many men and women. Do you remember that cop whose ship you stole? I have one of his ears so I could hear you in a crowd and know it was you, just in case. There was a parts pirate once who thought he could outdo me, a man named Divan. I have a good chunk of his brain, now there was a man who could do business. Another pirate was a little too brutal for my tastes– the Burmese Dah Zey, I’m certain you’ve heard of him before. These are his hands. And then, a woman named Roberta Griswold– I told her to make cyborgs a thing, and she let me down. Now her lungs keep me breathing.”

Heartland takes a deep gulp of air, chest heaving with the passion of all the people he's dismembered. Connor wants to yell at him to shut up, but some horrified part of him is fascinated by all the names, all the sick ends, and he stays silent.

“Part of my heart belongs to a useless boy named Argent Skinner. You probably don’t remember Argent, actually. He was really obsessed with you, you know.” Heartland’s voice is wheedling, like a teenager teasing a friend about a schoolgirl crush. It sets Connor’s teeth on edge. “You didn’t even notice him. He worked at the boundary checkpoint where you slipped under the radar. He was going to track you down while you were passing through his little station and take you with him, but you managed to give him the slip. That made him so angry that he came to the PC. I took that anger and I made it glorious. I made it me.”

Connor’s right arm twitches at his side, the foreign fingers curling into a tight fist. He wants to slam it into Heartland’s nose, hear the bones crack and watch the blood gush forth. Connor’s been in fights back when he was still in school, and he’s definitely been angry before, but nothing like this. This rage consumes him, but it isn’t Connor’s. Judging by the way the arm with the shark tattoo keeps jerking forward like it has plans of its own, Connor would wager a guess that it’s Roland bursting forth again, wanting to make his vengeance known.

Heartland follows Connor’s line of vision and his lips curl into something almost akin to a smile. “See, Connor? I’m not the only one with borrowed pieces. You’re just like me.”

Connor shakes his head frantically. “I’m nothing like you. I didn’t want this. You did.”

Heartland tilts his head to the side, acknowledging this. “True, I did want it. I wanted it better than anyone else, too. Even when Centerworld started losing steam for distribution, I wanted it still. I had to step in a few times to convince them to keep it up, but they got there in the end.”

Connor feels like screaming. He kind of wants to, except he’s afraid that if he shouts too loudly Heartland will come to admire his vocal chords and decide to take those, too. He has a twisted mental image of Risa hearing his voice from the shadows and running towards it only for Heartland to emerge, smiling as coldly as her as he is at Connor right now.

“This has all been a lie, then. Everything about distribution being used to further the life of the galaxy. It was never about the galaxy, was it? It was only about protecting you. Your life.” Connor chokes out.

Heartland nods, extending his hands in a theatrical gesture. “I don’t care about the rest of them. Why should I? I made the distribution project work in the first place. They didn’t help, why should they reap the rewards? It’s about equal labor for equal pay, and they didn’t contribute one thing. Now they will. I mean, don’t you hate it when slackers get all the privileges that you had to fight for?”

Connor’s throat is tight. “Why are you telling me all of this? Why are you even talking to me at all? Does monologuing make you live longer, too?”

Heartland chuckles. “No, no. I just want you to understand. I hate to say it, Connor, but your little adventure has caught on across the galaxy. I want you to release a holo saying that you condone any attempts to avoid distribution, that you’ve learned your lesson and it’s better for everyone to follow the rules. Once you prove you’re with us, the little hero of the ferals will be forgotten, and no one else will be inspired by your misguided attempt to run. It’s as easy as that, boy. Five minutes of your time, that’s all I need.”

Connor’s brow furrows. “So you want me to go against literally everything I believe, and then what? You let me go?”

Heartland’s borrowed eyes dance with mirth. “No, no. You misunderstand me. This is not a deal we’re making, this is an order. You will make the speech, and then you will be distributed. I do not trust you to live in any world. I want all loose ends tied up, and that involves you.”

Connor’s stomach does a slow roll. “If you’re going to kill me anyway, why the sunfire would I help you? Usually, when someone wants something, they have to give a little first. Thought you’d know about that from all your high profile business bullshit.”

“Watch your mouth, Connor, or I’ll take your tongue first,” Heartland says chidingly. “This isn’t business. This is me extracting use from a useless bit of biological matter. I don’t need you alive. I don’t even need you to want to do this. I have ways of making you comply.”

Connor takes an involuntary step back. He tries the door behind him, but it’s locked; Connor didn’t even hear the pin slide into place. He must have been too distracted staring at the monstrosity before him.

Heartland smirks. “There’s nowhere to run, Connor. Nowhere to go. Your only option is me.”

The man sinks back into his chair, not even bothering to block Connor. And why should he? They’re high up in some kind of office building, several stories off the ground. There are no other doors except the locked one behind him. According to Heartland, there really is no way out.

Heartland, though, has had several centuries worth of comfortable, cozy life. Heartland has not had to risk himself in a very long time. Heartland has no idea the distance a feral would go to survive, because he has not had to fight tooth and nail for so much as one more day alive. Connor, however, has, and Connor will never go out like this. As long as there is any way out, Connor will take it. Even if that way out involves the window overlooking a drop at least five stories to the ground.

Connor launches himself towards the glass pane. Of all the ideas he’s had, this is probably the worst, but it’s that or get distributed, so no hurt feelings there. He grabs an office chair as he goes, slamming it through the window and breaking it instantly. 

Heartland’s face goes waxy. “Lassiter, be serious. You cannot possibly–”

Connor silences him with a glare. “Never tell me what I can’t do. Don’t you know ferals never follow the rules?”

And with that terrible bit of drama, Connor throws himself from the window. He turns as he falls, catching hold of the narrow lip. He’s not strong enough to hold himself from this forever, but he doesn’t have to be. All he needs is to slow his fall bit by bit, piece by piece, by dropping from ledge to ledge until he’s on the ground. An awning stretching over a few windows catches him for a while, letting him roll to a stop before crawling to the next ledge, and so on and so forth until he’s halfway down the side of the building. 

Victory practically within his grasp, Connor makes the incredibly stupid decision to look down, and immediately regrets it. The ground, although closer to him than when he’d first leapt out of the building, seems lightyears away. Connor’s feet loll perilously over the precipice, and he has to snap his eyes shut so he doesn’t lose it completely. It’s not about making it to the bottom. All he has to do is find the next window ledge. Connor reaches out with trembling fingers and it’s within his grasp, then he can awkwardly shuffle his body down and over. Then the next ledge, and the next. He can do this.

Eyes still shut, Connor stretches out a foot to find the next ledge, but his legs refuse to go any lower. Risking another glimpse down, Connor realizes that he’s actually on the ground. He shades his eyes with his hand, staring up at the building he’s just escaped. Heartland may have centuries of knowledge over Connor, but the man has no idea how to handle a mad runaway. Funny, except he’s definitely sending reinforcements to track down Connor right now, so he’s got to get a move on.

Right on cue, the doors to the building burst open and a swarm of soldiers flood out. Connor turns and runs into the city around him, not caring where he’s headed so long as it takes him away. He has absolutely no idea what planet he’s on, let alone what system, but that doesn’t matter. Connor always knows how to run, regardless of his exact position in the galaxy.

He takes an abrupt turn down some alleyways, hoping the tight quarters will shake at least a few of the soldiers as they scramble for position. Connor whips around corners left and right, but his mad dash comes to a sudden halt when he comes face to face with a dead end. Swearing under his breath, Connor doubles back, but the soldiers are bearing down on him and there’s nowhere to go. The walls are high and slick with something that’s hopefully just oil, so Connor can’t climb his way out of this one.

Well, he’s never backed down from a fight, has he? Connor swallows hard, glancing around for something he can use as a weapon. There’s no way he can fight off all of these soldiers, but maybe he can try, at least. There’s no way he’s going down without giving it his all.

Just before Connor can pick up an unwieldy piece of metal pipe and hope for the best, a door swings open to his left and a voice hisses at him, “Quick! In here!”

Connor has no other options, so he lunges for the door, which slams behind him just as the soldiers round the corner. Connor is immediately plunged into darkness, but he can just make out the snap of a lock into place.

A handheld light flicks on; harsh and fluorescent, probably an old industrial bulb. That design is common in outer territories, but Connor didn’t expect to find anything so cheaply made here. He hadn’t been able to get a good glimpse of the city due to the fact that he was running for his life, but the brief snippets of the cityscape he had caught seemed polished and very, very expensive.

The light doesn’t just reveal income, though, it also draws into focus several faces all clustered around Connor. They seem to be of various ages, but all are teenagers and, judging by the slightly haunted look in their eyes that Connor saw most fiercely in the Graveyard, all are kids running from distribution.

One of the younger boys stares unabashedly at Connor. “So, it’s true. You’re actually the Akron AWOL.”

An older girl with bright streaks of pink in her hair glares at the boy who had spoken. “Shut up, Emby. You promised you’d be cool about this.”

“I am,” Emby protests, “I’m just asking, that’s all. No need to get defensive, Mai.”

Connor chuckles in spite of himself. After hearing Heartland’s little sermon, he wasn’t entirely sure that he would ever be able to laugh again, but the easy banter broke through his defenses before he realized what was happening. Painfully, it also reminds him of the Graveyard, all the conversations he’ll never hear again.

“He’s fine,” Connor assures Mai. “And yes, I’m Connor. You’re, uh, Emby?”

“That’s what they call me,” the younger boy assures him with an audibly congested sniff. “Mai came up with the nickname. Short for mouth-breather. She said it’s right on the money.”

“You don’t have to directly quote me every single time,” Mai grumbles.

Connor smirks, then turns to the other teenagers still standing around him. “Who are the rest of you?”

“Diego,” another boy announces himself. His eyes flash, giving the impression of cleverness. Clever enough to not get involved in Mai and Emby’s squabbling, at least, which gives him some credit.

An older boy introduces himself as Vincent. The harsh light from the bulb shines off of countless piercings all over his face; Connor has no idea what piercing shop would have agreed to give a teenager that many studs, everyone knows that giving tattoos or piercings to AWOLs is just damaging the merchandise, but Connor himself is standing here with someone else’s ink, so maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Seeing as Vincent is idling rather close to Mai, Connor immediately suspects them of being together, and his theory is proven correct when their hands brush together in a move that’s probably not nearly as slick as they think it is.

Two more teenagers introduce themselves as Blaine and Bam, respectively. Both of them seem vaguely unapproachable, but that energy kind of extends to the whole group save Emby. It makes sense, though; if you want to survive on your own in the underbelly of a city like this, you’ve got to be able to cut off anyone at a moment’s notice. These kids are used to living off the skin of their teeth, although this doesn’t explain why they risked their necks to get Connor to safety.

Connor folds his arms across his chest. “Why am I here?”

Bam scoffs. “Would you like it better if we dumped you back out there for the soldiers to find you?”

Connor arches a brow. “If that’s your attitude, why did you save me in the first place? Suns, how’d you even know I was here?”

Blaine flashes Connor a sharp grin that’s about as warm as light reflecting off of a scalpel. “We keep close watch of everyone in this city. Dozens of Juvey-cops converged on one building out of nowhere. When the Juveys made that mass arrest on some unclaimed cruiser two days ago, we all waited for the news that Connor Lassiter had been caught, but it never came out. There’s no way they’d pass up a chance to brag about getting you at last, so we put two and two together and figured out you’d have to be here. We’ve been keeping an eye out in case you managed to run, but we didn’t think you’d be lucky enough to run right by us.”

“That’s a great coincidence for me, then,” Connor says, still not entirely believing it.

Diego snorts. “He left out the part where we hacked into the citywide security cams months ago. We tracked you the second you left and hurried over so we could catch you before it was too late. Coincidence is for cowards.”

This earns him an irate glare from Mai. “Feel free to spill any more of our secrets while you’re at it, Diego. I’m sure caution means nothing when it comes to the starloving Akron AWOL.”

Diego just chuckles, which Connor has to respect, because Mai looks like she wants to tear the boy to shreds. “He’s not going to trust us unless we give him a reason, obviously. Look at him. He’s already thinking about running.”

This is, admittedly, true. Like Connor thought at the start, then. Diego is the smart one. Well, if they’ve got access to every sec-cam in the city, maybe they’re all the smart ones. That would explain how they survive down here, certainly.

Connor does his best to look as casual as he can. “You want something from me, obviously, or you wouldn’t have bothered to save me. How about we cut to the chase and you tell me what that is?”

Bam shrugs. “We want you gone. Sooner you’re offworld, the better. We don’t want the Juveys nosing in on our operation. Plus, we’ve got friends at some of the distribution colonies. Figured you’d be inclined to at least pretend to help.”

Connor frowns. “What friends? Maybe I know them.”

Bam actually looks a little chagrined at this. “Well, I don’t know him personally. But, uh, we tuned in to his radio show. Thought it was great. He convinced us to try and rescue AWOLs if we found them. That’s how we got Emby and Vince. He’s a friend of yours, actually. We want you to save Hayden Upchurch.”

Connor feels his shoulders sag in relief. “Hayden’s alive?”

“For now,” Bam mumbles. “He’s in a colony somewhere, so time is ticking. It feels wrong that he should die when he’s done so much for us.”

Connor can’t help a wicked grin. “So you’re a fan, huh? I’ll have to tell Hayden that he’s got admirers across the systems.”

Bam slugs him in the shoulder, which, ow. “Shut up, Lassiter. Just do it.”

Connor rubs his aching arm. “Alright, alright. I’ve got no problems with that. Say, how do you know where he is? Have they been announcing where the kids from the Graveyard went?”

He tries to keep the obvious longing from his voice, but clearly he doesn’t do such a good job of it, because Emby pipes up loudly, “You’re looking for Risa Ward, aren’t you? Is she, like, your girlfriend?”

This immediately earns the younger boy swats on the head from Mai and Bam at the same time. “She’s not my girlfriend,” Connor hastens to say, which only makes him feel more like an idiot instead of less. 

His cheeks heat up while he forces out the words, so he’s pretty sure that no one believes him at all. It’s not Connor’s fault if he got distracted by the idea. It seems nice, after all. Having Risa be his girlfriend. It would probably be cool. If, you know, Connor had any idea where she was, or if she was still whole.

Mai’s visibly smirking now. “Relax, she’s still alive. Actually, we caught a transmission yesterday that you’ll probably want to hear.”

Confused, Connor follows her to a corner of their little hideaway, where he’s presented with an absolute abomination of a radio unit. It’s been patched together from the wrecks of several old computing systems, practically a distribution project in its own right, but it turns on when Mai presses a few buttons. She has to knock it on the side a couple of times before the control panel turns on, but then Mai selects a past broadcast and Connor doesn’t care about anything anymore, because he hears his own name crackling out of the system, and best of all, it’s Risa who says it.

The voice is grainy and heavily distorted, but Connor would know her anywhere. “Hey, Connor,” Risa’s recording begins, “This is Risa. If you can hear me– well, you’re alive, and that’s a relief.”

Connor feels as if he’s falling forever. Maybe he did slip when he was trying to climb down from Heartland’s building after all, and maybe this is just a hallucination his brain has cooked up to distract himself from a slow, painful death at the bottom of a skyscraper. If this is what death brings him– Risa talking to him at last, wanting him there with her like he wants her– then maybe he’ll accept it after all.

Connor mentally shakes himself, trying to focus again. Risa keeps talking, heedless of Connor’s mental distraction. “I made it out, but I’m stuck on a planet somewhere near the Graveyard. My pod was damaged and I can’t leave, but I can’t stay here, either. I don’t know your situation, but I need you, Connor.  I’m on–”

A break in the recording. Connor leans forward instinctively, terrified he’s missed something, but then he hears faint sounds in the background and realizes that Risa must be talking to someone else in the room. She asks a question, and the voice that answers her is distinctly male, which makes Connor irrationally angry. He does his best to calm down, though. Risa is stranded. She can’t help it if there’s some guy with her. She’s still talking to him, trying to reach him against the odds.

A rush of static and Risa’s voice appears again. “I’m on Molokai. Find me, Connor. Please.”

The transmission ends and the room fills with silence, but Connor stays there still, swaying slightly, hoping that she’ll say something, anything more. He would listen to her describe the weather or the flight over to Molokai in her escape pod, even the boring things, just so long as he could have one more moment with her voice in his ears. He misses her desperately, he realizes. More than the Graveyard, more than anyone he’d met on that doomed cruiser. It’s been him and Risa for so long that he’s almost forgotten how to be by himself again, despite the fact that every other year of his life was just that.

The quiet persists, and Connor comes to the understanding that the others must be waiting for him to say something. “Well,” he says awkwardly, “I need to get to Risa. You don’t have a ship that I could borrow, by any chance, do you?”

Mai beams triumphantly. “I was hoping you would ask. We don’t have a ship of our own, but we have something better.”

Connor turns to her curiously. “And what’s that?”

“A way to get into any ship,” Vincent answers him. “Any ship, any building, anywhere. We figured out how to make fake grounds licenses, but these hack the system every time. It doesn’t know how to handle your license, so it just bypasses every security barrier on instinct. It’ll let you in any door. You can walk right up to a shipyard and take whatever you want. That’s how we’ve stayed undercover so long, we’ve all got new licenses. We have a few extra just in case, you can take one.”

Connor eyes him cautiously. “You’re just going to give me one? Free of charge? That’s awfully nice of you.”

“We’re not terrible people,” Blaine snorts. “We just expect you to uphold your end of the bargain. Get to Risa, then get to the colony. Pick a ship big enough to hold the kids you save. We have friends who don’t want to get distributed, and more than Bam’s celebrity crush.”

This earns him a vengeful kick to the knees from Bam, but Connor’s the one who feels like his legs have been knocked out from under him. “You want me to storm a distribution colony?”

“We want you to repay the favor we’re giving you now,” Mai clarifies. “You owe us, Lassiter. Don’t die with the debt.”

Connor nods slowly. “I’ll try. You’re not the only one who doesn’t want their friends in pieces.”

“You’d better mean that,” Blaine threatens, but he allows Diego to open a carefully locked box and pull out a holopad.

“This is your new identity,” Diego announces. “You’re now Elvis Robert Mullard, a Juvey-cop who recently celebrated his nineteenth birthday. Congratulations.”

He flicks through a few holoscreens, snapping a quick photo of Connor which probably looks terrible so he can enter it into their prepared false license registration. Connor frowns. “What about the real Elvis Mullard? Won’t he be mad that I’m stealing his life?”

Diego shakes his head. “Elvis died in the Graveyard explosion. I’d say rest in peace, but he wanted us in pieces, so actually I hope it was, like, super painful for him. Now you get his license and we all live happily ever after.”

Connor nods uncomfortably. “I’m fine with that.”

“Good,” Diego says crisply, “Because from here on out, you are Elvis Mullard. Forever.”

He swipes up on his holopad, and a blue band of light appears around Connor’s left wrist, flashing fast-paced streams of text before disappearing again.

“So that’s it?” Connor asks, staring at the place above his hand where the hologram had just been.

“That’s it,” Diego confirms. “You’re a new man. How does it feel?”

“The exact same,” Connor mumbles.

Blaine chuckles. “Well, you did nothing. Not yet, at least. Remember your end of the bargain.”

“I’m going to,” Connor assures him.

Bam eyes him suspiciously. “You’d better. Anyway, you need to get going before they send reinforcements down on all of us. The shipyard’s just a couple of blocks from here. Steal any one you like, get to Molokai, then repay your debt. If we think you’re backing out, we can cancel your license and set the cops on your ass in a heartbeat. Just remember that.”

Connor holds up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m not going to back out. Jeez. Trust a guy, will you?”

This earns him six blank stares, and Connor sighs. “Fine, fine. I’ll save them. I promise.”

Emby waves as Connor heads to the door. “It was nice to meet you, Connor!”

Somehow, Connor finds it within himself to grin. “It was great to meet you too, Emby. Don’t let the rest of these killjoys get you down.”

“I won’t,” Emby pledges.

Connor breaks into a broad grin, letting that be the last the shady group sees of him, then heads back out into the street. The soldiers have evidently attempted to retrace their steps to find Connor, because the alleyway is long deserted. 

Connor stands for a moment in the dull darkness. Somewhere above him, a small, one-man starship screams up to the atmosphere. Connor tracks it with his eyes until it’s gone. In that ship could be a Juvey-cop ready to sentence another feral to death, or a flight student taking off on their first solo trip. Or maybe it’s holding a boy, a boy like Connor, utterly alone again but this time bolstered by the knowledge that he will not be that way forever. He will find Risa. He will find his friends. And then, at the end of the galaxy, they will rest in the knowledge that they outsmarted a man older than distribution itself. There is still time for everything to go according to plan.

a/n: at last, the dorian heartland easter eggs make sense.

unwind tag list: @schroedingers-kater, @sirofreak, @locke-writes

all tags list: @wordsarelife