#hloc

[slytherinsomniari]

Millionth Hogwarts Legacy rant because I'm delulu and too sensitive 😂 I swear, I need another fandom at this point. I wish I could control my emotions but I can't. Otherwise I would have lol

I swear to god, I guess I need lessons on how to talk to people and interact with a fandom because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm not commenting on as many posts as I thought I was. Should I just dm people? I'm also not sure what questions I should ask about their characters. How does this work?

I was told that I should continue posting about my OCs but no one ever looks at them or responds except one person 🥺 You know who you are and I love you so much for that! But I wish more people were interested in my characters...interested in me. The person that even said that doesn't even look at my stuff. What am I supposed to do in this community if no one cares?

I'm working on an art of my MC Sophronia and I guarantee when I post this art they're going to like it and complement it as if they haven't fucking ignored me the entire time. Why am I not noticed or taken seriously in this community? How come I only have two friends? Why are they so nice when I comment on their posts about their characters and they never express interest in my characters or ask about them. I have six as of now....do I need to be an rp whore and rp with everyone I come across? do I need to suck up to them and tell them that they are gods? My brain is fried and I can't think of anything anymore.

Maybe I should just draw for another fandom. I can at least try once (outside of anime) and see how it goes.

[carrotzcake]

eating disorder treatment [group on the medical complications of EDs]: gastroparesis, IBS and related digestive health issues are common

also eating disorder treatment: eat this objectively large amount of food in 45min. *punished for eating too slowly* *punished for incompletion* *punished for bathroom usage immediately after eating*

[maenym]

i don’t think I’ll finish this wip but I do love it 💕

[tradermade]

Streaming OHLC data via WebSockets with Python simplified! https://tradermade.com/tutorials/ohlc-python-websocket. Our step-by-step tutorial, perfect for financial applications, teaches you how to stream and process Forex data.

[jinglejanglemornings]

sometimes life as a 20-year old anorexic stoner is taking shots of french vanilla coffee creamer cause you really want ice cream but you’re terrified of ice cream and you don’t even keep real food in your kitchen

[whsprings]

literally so anxious rn

[slutsofren]

would you mind writing a little ficlet (or hcs) of the batboys and reader taking care of their newborn?

ever since i read the oneshot where reader goes into labor, i've been going FERAL at the thought of the batboys being loving dads set in the hloc universe🥺🥺

but only if you're comfortable and if you want to!!! you don't have to do this if you don't want to, no hard feelings 💜

OOH THIS IS GOOD

okay so i should start with a blanket message. i, personally, do not have children, i do not know how to raise a child save for a cat who is my pride and joy. i do not wish to have a child in my life. with that being said i will likely get a lot of things (lol everything) wrong in more detailed ways but hey, that's why this is a fantasy fic right lol

as always, details under the cut!! i went for general attitudes towards your pregnancy in the high lady universe but if you want something a wee bit different just shoot on over an ask :> 🤍🌹

**i will not be posting this to ao3 so it is a ✨tumblr exclusive✨

cw: babies, a little bit of violence mentioned but nothing bad :>

Azriel

az was the first one to try and get you pregnant and yes, he was trying multiple times a day for it to take so when the little flutter first happened, he cried. big fat tears.

when the babe was born with dripping black onyx wings az had weeped, they all did

he began to take less spy missions that would keep him away longer than a few hours just to stay home with his child, at least until they would old enough yeah right

it would take him months before he was able to stay a single night away on a mission at which point you had to reassure him with multiple kisses that the two of you would be fine

he cared for you in every single way possible, physically, mentally, emotionally, and would do everything in his power to keep you both happy

you wanted a bath? absolutely, here is your bath but let him take the baby, no it's fine he wanted to hold them :)

there would be nights where the babe would wake and cry and az would jump up and immediately take to them, consoling their cries

you'd watch as az would gently murmur stories from memory, of a high lady who fought to the death for her lovers, stories of you

az always was and always will be the protector of your little family

Cassian

absolute loser of a daddy

he didnt know the first thing of being a dad and he sure as hell did not know how to care for one

all brawn and very little brain for baby 101

he was never sure if he wanted kids when he first met you but seeing you pregnant, seeing his family, he was satisfied with whatever the outcome may be

he once tried to give baby a dagger when they were still a toddler and if you listen closely you could still hear Rhys’ voice shouting “NO” from the mountains of Illyria

for the first few weeks, cass was afraid he was going to drop the baby so he avoided holding them at all costs, leaving it to az and you

it wasnt until you assured him it was going to be fine did he give in, only to immediately start crying when he realized this was his family. he had a family. everything he fought for was for this.

cass was a warrior and he was absolutely going to be the one who trained your babies how to kick ass like him

Rhysand

rhys always was and always will be the most hesitant of the daddies

it took him time to come to terms with your pregnancy only because he lost his first family so violently, he wasn't sure if he was ready for that step but he knew he wanted it with you

rhys was the one who would secretly take the babe under the cover of darkness outside to practice flying as a surprise for you all

knowing the childhood of your other mates, he did everything he could to ensure none of your babies would ever grow up in violence like them or be in want of affection

with that being said, he became much more violent towards members of his court of nightmares.

he was a high lord so he was often not home but he would be damned to let the disease fester and grow under his reign, and he would make sure none of your children would shoulder his burden

to him, rhys did not care if he was biologically the father of any of your babies but he would fight wars for them so they would never have to

[findingmypeace]

My life has been going 100+ mph since Wednesday. I don't even have time for a full update right now. Long story short: I will be starting iop on tomorrow. I was assessed for php but was given permission to do iop due to my job. As of now, and what I agreed to, is that this will be a short time in HLOC. I think this is the best way to go about things. I trying really hard to eliminate b/ping on my own but I'm white knuckling it and did end up doing it a few more times. I need the extra support and accountability while I try this out.

I am both relieved, motivated, scared, and dreading it. Look at those dialectics! I know I need this. I don't need to attend groups all day or take time off work, etc. Logistically this will be a much, much easier set up then this past Fall/Winter in php/iop with very little interference with my job. I will be busy but I will also occupied during the evenings when b/p episodes happen the most often.

I hardly ever feel proud of myself but I do feel good that I am choosing to stop things in the middle of the spiral rather than all the way at the bottom. I've never done that before. Yes, the ed is screaming at me and there are definitely parts of it that still feel nonnegotiable but I try to keep reminding myself of that phrase I wrote the other day. You can't climb Mt. Everest in a day. I'll just start where I can and go from there.

More to come if I ever have more than a few minutes to write. There's bullshit at work I want to vent about (I will have to be vague) and the finding a roommate saga and a few other things.

Also, I have not been able to keep up with tumblr at all so I have no idea what's happening with anyone. :(

[callsignangel]

who wants the lore on my hogwarts legacy oc?? i love the stories that players come up with and i want to share but i want to be sure there's a want/need for HLOC lore 🤣🤣

[trans-axolotl]

What do you do if you're highly recommended HLOC for eating disorders but for reasons both financial and personal you can't do that? I also don't have consistent access to therapy or regular healthcare either, despite having state insurance and a therapist. It's getting really scary for me but HLOC is just not something I'm capable of doing.

Hi, anon <3

That's a really hard situation to be in, and I know how overwhelming it can be to try to navigate eating disorder care and HLOC, especially when these resources aren't accessible or financially feasible. I can completely understand how scary eating disorders can get, and how challenging it can be to even get the energy to reach out for support.So definitely kudos to you for still trying to figure all this out despite all the difficulties. You deserve support and care in whatever ways make sense for you and your life right now, and I hope that you have the room to process any feelings you might be having.

Something that has been helpful for me to hold onto during my eating disorder recovery journey has been harm reduction values and frameworks. I know for me, the thought of recovery was incredibly scary, and rigid treatment frameworks didn't feel sustainable or accessible at all. Trying to make goals around doing any positive change, reminding myself that I didn't have to wake up and change everything in one day, accessing practical harm reduction tips for how to keep myself medically stable even if I wasn't ready to stop using behaviors, and setting more realistic goals around reducing frequency or severity of behaviors rather than trying to confront everything at once helped. Nalgona Positivity and Pride is an organization that has some really cool resources around eating disorders and harm reduction, and also hosts a monthly support group for POC with eating disorders. Engaging with fat liberation politics and values was also something that was super helpful for me to start undoing some of the really tangled up core beliefs and functions of my eating disorder. (I know that body image is not a relevant part of everyone's eating disorder experience, and I also can share some more specific resources for ARFID or PICA if that's a need.)

I want to really validate that it's completely okay if you don't want to go into HLOC. So often in the eating disorder treatment world, we hear a lot of really rigid statements that try to convince us that HLOC is the only option for healing. I know I felt a lot of shame in eating disorder treatment spaces for not being a "perfect" or "compliant" patient, and dealing with all the coercion when people tried to convince me to go to HLOC was so hard. So just know that it is completely understandable and justifiable that you would have reasons that you're not interested in HLOC, and your autonomy should be respected. I really do believe that there are lots of different ways healing can look like for us, and that all of us are going to be the expert on what would be the most helpful for our own situations. I know I did also feel a lot of grief that there weren't more alternative or easily accessible options, and felt a lot of anger on how alone and panicked I felt when I knew that I couldn't cope with my eating disorder anymore, but didn't want to be institutionalized either. So just really sending love and solidarity your way for whatever you're feeling and going through right now.

One resource that might be helpful is Project Heal, who provides scholarships when insurance isn't enough to cover eating disorder treatment. I don't know if you would be interested in IOP or PHP if that was made financially accessible, but Project Heal might be able to help make that happen if you do want to go down that route. I don't know if you're at all interested in virtual treatment, but I do know a couple people who have successfully just gotten scholarships from Equip eating disorder treatment when they explained their financial need. Quite a few eating disorder treatment centers will have scholarships programs that aren't advertised, and it's sometimes worth calling treatment programs and asking to see what can be done.

If any formal treatment is not an option, it might be helpful to try to make a really intentional plan about how you might want to approach this within your individual support network. Understanding why your providers are recommending a HLOC, whether it's because they think you need medical stabilization, weight restoration, being in a secure environment for behavior interruption, access to meal support five times a day, or something else, might help to focus on priorities and goals. Whether or not you agree with their interpretation of your situation, it might be helpful to sort of figure out what your more urgent priorities are right now so that you can make a plan for what your next couple weeks/months look like. I'm not sure if that's something that your therapist could help with or not, but making a plan with them or someone else from your support network might help to provide a bit of a way forward.

I know some people who have really tried to do a "treatment at home model" where with support from their friends/family/partner, they've set up a more intentional environment where they've made some specific goals, asked friends/family to provide meal support at specific times throughout the day, and done therapy/journaling/art/healing work at times throughout the day. I know that a lot of this stuff depends on what supports you do have in your life currently, and whether you can take time off work/school, or how other disabilities can play into whether things like meal prep and cooking are even accessible at all. But I know some people who've found it really helpful to try to really just set aside time to focus solely on eating disorder coping, even doing some things like copying schedules from treatment programs and doing that in their house. That might be too overwhelming or not a viable option, which is totally valid. But if you want to try to brainstorm what a plan like this might look like, definitely feel free to send another ask with some more specifics and I'm happy to try to help with some of that brainstorming.

When I was really struggling with my eating disorder before I ended up in a HLOC, what I tried to do was have some sort of eating disorder support every day of the week. I think it's so hard to heal in isolation, and a really important step can just be trying to start to create some way of accessing community. What that looked like for me was going to like four different eating disorder support groups a week through different organizations, and accessing support from a recovery coach. Recovery coaches are usually people who have gone through the process of eating disorder recovery, and a lot of people might be in school for their license as counselors or dietitians. They can provide meal support several times a week, do things like go grocery shopping with you or do challenging food exposures. It's more informal than therapy, but can provide some more of that material support. If you're interested in that, I know several providers who provide sliding-scale services and are really willing to make things accessible. I can't share their names publicly for privacy reasons, but if you send in an ask off anon or dm me I'm happy to send you their information.

I also went to support groups through FEDUP, the Eating Disorder Foundation, and ANAD. There are several different groups that happen at different times virtually throughout the week, and some are identity specific while some are open to anyone. Those can be an awesome source of peer support and people can provide really helpful feedback and advice or help you talk through specific challenges you're having.

Overall, I just want to affirm that whatever steps you are able to take to take care of yourself and engage with your eating disorder recovery are worth celebrating. This stuff can be so difficult, and even small steps you can take to try to stabilize, reach out for support, making a small goal, are all amazing accomplishments. Sending love and solidarity during this difficult time, and please feel free to reach out again with any more specific questions or even just to vent. Truly wishing you the best of luck <3

Any followers who have relevant knowledge of other resources or helpful tips, please feel free to add on.

[slytherinsomniari]

HL MC: Sophronia in Exploration

“Like the troubadours of old, Sophronia dons her guise and travels the world. Not to play a merry tune but rather for the sake of knowledge and adventure”

I drew Sophronia in her exploration outfit! I accidentally made the design on the cloak big when it should have been a lot of very tiny designs. But I could not be bothered to do that 😂 I never really use the hats in the game and I loved this one so I had to plan an outfit around it.

[carrotzcake]

like i wasn't anal retentive enough from the start, years of HLOC & tx experiences, couple w/ The Trauma have made me so anxious & paranoid.

everything has gotten worse and no one is helping or supporting me. my family sees my weight restoration, sees me eat, not hospitalized for binge drinking, and think i'm fine.

i am not.

upcoming anniversary things have already started a cascade of underlying symptoms bubbling up just beneath the surface.

[smol-lydia]

Personal post//cw for mention for ed no explicit details because we don’t do that here

So I finally got an admit date for residential: July 18th. Because I’m getting authorized through Medicaid/my county, I already know how many days they’ve approved which is an odd reassurance because in the past when I’ve had private insurance they only approve 4-5 days at a time so your head was constantly on the chopping block and it made it hard to focus on getting better

This time, I know I’ll be getting 50 days, no more, no less. I haven’t needed a HLOC since my last relapse in 2019 when my step dad passed and I’ve been working on my recovery since my admission to Renfrew in 2017 so…it’s weird to be back in the place once again.

I’ve learned that if you’ve had your Ed for more than a decade it’s considered SEED (severe and enduring) and I’ve had mine since I was 7 years old so….23 years. And yet I’m so harsh on myself for not being 1000% better blah blah

I’ve stopped using eat and yeet behaviors since 2019 but I still struggle with anorexic behaviors obviously and just….I really want to get back on track with things because I had a solid recovery for a while and I miss it. I miss food freedom and feeling ok in my skin. And secure in myself.

I’m not the toxic asshole I was before renfrew who burned bridges in my friendships and slept with men for validation despite being a lesbian or started fist fights in Denny’s or did drugs etc etc I never want to go “out” from AA or NA and I want better for myself….and for my loved ones….

I may not be in a relationship anymore, may not be getting married any more…..

But I don’t want to die from this disease. It’s not what I want to be known for.

[quiet-admirer]

[ed tw]

There isn't a moral to this story but whenever I see people saying they want to be able to eat more or want to like stuffing more but they have a small capacity or don't like the feeling of being full I always think about being in ed tx when it was like, "you're so full it's painful? tough crap, finish your meal or it's off to a hloc for you" lmao.

[whsprings]

one of my iop goals last week was to do a better job with my meal plan over the weekend and today has been pretty decent but yesterday?? oof.

[slutsofren]

The stages of HLOC:

Me, ~1 year ago: God that group sex must be hot

Me, an insomniac, right now at 12 am: god that cuddle pile must be heavenly

oh baby im still in slutty station central, ive got no thoughts other than 🍑🍆💦🍆💦🍆💦

but fr i cant sleep and i am 100% in whore mode