#honestly i'd give him a solid B- for this

[infrequentartfromnickie]

Bruce's therapist told him that he should let his kids know how much he valued them, and write it down if talking was too hard.

Bruce is getting an A in therapy.

[neverchecking]

NSFW Alphabet- Legend Edition

Okay, so the Ravio ficlet is fighting me tooth and nail rn but I offer this instead @lovanmari @angry-trashcan @wayfayrr

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Honestly, a solid 7.8/10. Like, he has a general idea of what he's doing, but still needs some instruction every now and again. But he's the best at massages. You didn't hear it from me, but if you flutter your lashes and ask really nicely, he'll be at your mercy for whatever your heart desires <3

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Look...This is one Link that I can safely say it's not his freaking hands. It's his fingers. He loves what their capable off, both with a weapon and without. Especially when it comes to taking apart his lover over and over again. Just to see those sweet expressions, just to hear those orgasmic noises, just to experience pure bliss in taking his partner apart at the seams.

On his partner? I could lie to you guys and say he doesn't have one. Or I can tell you about how he drools over a good set of cheeks. (not face cheeks). He loves watching his lover's ass just bounce and ripple with every smack he lays against it. Even better when he wears his rings and leaves a pretty little welt behind as a reminder of him <3

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Oh he's loves backshots. You know why? Because he gets to cum all over his lover's ass and watch it drip around the curve. And he's got thick cum, I just know it. I just know it's thick and the perfect consistency to drip down in perfect little rivulets down your ass then your thighs.

Don't get him wrong, he also loves cumming deep inside of you, only to then finger it back inside your dirty little whole.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is so open to a threesome with Ravio. I HAD TO GET THIS OUT THERE I'M SORRY-

Should his lover bring it up, because he'd rather drown himself than do it himself, he would agree to a threesome with the merchant faster than his lover could blink.

Is totally open to fucking into his lover while Ravio fucks him from behind. That's the thought of the night, your welcome :)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I'd say he's one of the more experienced(?) Links out of the bunch? I think he went on a bit of a spiral after Marin and just took every lay he could get to get his mind off her. Little bit of a slut tbh-

That's okay, he stops when he meets you <3 Then he's your slut <3

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Ooh so many. He likes them all, but obviously anything that gives him access to your ass. Doggy style has a place in his heart for so many reasons. One) He can smack and play with your ass whenever he wants. Two) He can bend over your back and fondle your chest and pull at your nipples whenever he wants. Three) He can mark up your back to his hearts content without worrying about the others seeing the marks.

10/10 position in his humble (Correct) opinion.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Have you met this man? Him goofy?

Probably fnofnbf. Drops a snide/sarcastic remark just to get his lover's mind off the intrustion entering their body (I hate myself <3). Anything to get them to smile up at him with that dazzling smile.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

HFIOHFF I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ONE. No. Carpets do not match drapes. In fact, drapes are strawberry blond and carpet is PINK. His dick hair is pink. sorry to burst y'alls bubbles. Not even a little. He is practically barbie bushed. But it's well groomed! Trimmed and orderly because it it's not it gets itchy and makes him cranky.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Oh, he just wants to please his partner. If they want intimacy, he's giving them intimacy. He'll be the most romantic partner his lover has ever seen. Or, if they would rather him spit in their mouth and slap them around a bit, he's doing that too. Maybe they just want him to call them his 'Perfect little whore.' to get that perfect mix of both praise and degradation. He's doing it all. <3

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Does it a surprising amount. Now, HEAR ME OUT- don't leave yet. He's got a crazy high Libido. One would even say it's comparable to a rabbit's. Either way he's constantly going and going and going. And his partner needs a break. So if he has to hump his hand to the thought of them, then so be it. He's willing to give them a break, if only to know he can go twice as hard the second he get's his hands on them again.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Goddess above where does one begin-

Huge corruption kink, breeding kink, loves to tie his lover up, totally into temperature play, loves marking up his lover with welts and bite marks, cockwarming, spanking, degradation, praise, brat taming, predator/prey play (I'll let you decide who's who in that scenario).

He's open to exploration and will try anything at least once. Anything his lover wants <3

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Wants total privacy. Look, I know I said he'll try anything at least once, but if it's something huge he needs to be alone with his lover with the amount of vulnerability he's gonna show. If exhibitionism is the thing he's trying, he's going to need a lot of convincing and you're gonna need to start slow. Maybe not locking the door one time or leaving a window open. Things like that.

Just take things slow and he'll open up to other locations. Number one is still his house though. Ravio can join go take a walk after being (s)exiled.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Oh anything. Like I said, fucking like rabbits. You breath in his general direction and he's sweating, doing the good ol' horny grip on his pants and thighs and praying you don't notice. Has to take a walk after that. Maybe settle behind a tree for a solid tug-and-rub.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Honestly? Probably absolutely against watersports. Idk i just can't see him being into it no matter what. Gives him the absolute biggest ick.

(loves making his lover squirt if they're capable of doing so though)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think he prefers receiving. He's absolutely fantastic at giving, like holy shit give this man a medal. But I think he prefers watching your eyes water as you try to take him all in one good. Loves feeling your throat constrict around him. And if you fondle/ finger yourself while doing so, looking up at him through your lashes?

He'll fuck your face. And he won't be nice with it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I'm sure the rabbit jokes are getting old at this point, but you need to understand how important that side of him is to me.

Anyway, absolutely fast and rough. Jackhammers into his lover, absolutely scrambles their brain because just listening to them babble is so hot to him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves them. Will do them every chance he gets. He is so down for a quickie and he's good at them. He's rocking your little world with the ten minutes he has.

Since you have to be quick, he can't spill all over your ass, so this little bastard obviously has to cum inside :) And then he expects you to hold a straight face while dripping his cum :)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Like I said, down to try anything at least once, but he may have to warm up to the idea. Just take it slow, baby steps, and let him warm up to the idea. Let him take the lead. He'll do anything you want after that <3

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

...OKAY- I WON'T SAY IT BUT KNOW I'M THINKING IT.

He has stamina for DAYS. Can't stop when he gets going. Like he gets straight up sexdrunk. Pussydrunk/Dickdrunk idk (I read the term in a Leon Kennedy x Reader fic and that's now how I'm describing all of the Links thanks) He's that. He's just so into it that he cannot stop. Your gonna have to stop him and pull him away man.

Although, you don't have to <33

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Absolutely uses toys. He sees them as a partner in crime rather than the enemy (As he should) and uses all sorts just to see what happens because of it. Remember that temp. play thing I mentioned? Loves using different tools, running them along your skin just to hear you cry out or jut up into him, shivering.

Also, probably loves plugs with a little tail on the end. A bunny tail-SORRY YOU HAD TO KNOW THAT WAS COMING-

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Loves to tease. He is absolutely loves making you beg for him. Loves feeling you make a mess all over yourself, and by consequence himself, only to pull away at the very last second. Actually. now that I think about it, he's so into edging. And the second your on the precipice, he'll push you over that ledge, but instead of staying with you and carrying you through that high, he's ruining your orgasm and laughing in your face.

Only to do it all over again.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not overly loud...unless your sucking him off and playing with his balls. He's just a mess. I mean, he's crying out, whining, whimpering your name. Just broken. A broken little man.

When he's hitting it from the back though, it's not so much noises, but words. Legend has a FILTHY fucking mouth. Like get this man a bar of soap because the words he utters? Pure filth hidden in the perfect little tone, meant to make you shatter underneath of him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Absolutely loves dumbifying his lover. Loves just turning them into the perfect, mindless little toy for him to use. Their mindless little cries as he just destroys them? Drive him up the wall. Their sinful whimpers as they reach for him, pulling him as close as possible as he carves his place into them?

Fuck, he's going feral just thinking about it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's packing an average six inches, seven when hard. Average girth as well. You know what's not average about him though? He's got the best curve to his dick. And it's all natural. It hits the perfect spots every time, no matter the position. And, when he puts his mind to it, he can make it feel thirteen times better. He's brushing against those spots without really trying anyway, but now he's hitting them, dead on, every single thrust.

And he's got nice balls. Suck 'em a little. He'll cry. In a good way though. :)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High. There is never a moment he's not down to do that devil's tango. He just hides it well. He has the trauma to have a damn good poker face and uses it all the time. He can't have all his thoughts on full display.

You know...Thoughts on bending you over his knee and just smacking those cheeks of yours, turning them a cherry red and watching the flesh ripple. Of making you cry and cling to him, begging him to stop while also pleading with him to do no such thing. Yk. Casual things.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Doesn't sleep normally let alone when his lover is displaying such vulnerability in his presence. He has to protect them! He needs to be there just in case. He's their first and last line of defense.

He's not sleeping until he's absolutely certain it's safe for both of you.

[destinyc1020]

My Movie Review: "Challengers" 🎾

**Caution...May Contain Some Spoilers**

Okay okay..... Here we gooo! Another film review.... 😁🙌🏾

Y'all.... I have so much to say about this movie lol. 😅 I'll just be honest, like...I had some mixed feelings about this one!

Okay, so first of all.... I had a great time going to see this movie. My girlfriends and I all went to one of those theaters where you can order REAL food and alcohol, and they bring it right to your seat. 😁 We decided to treat ourselves to this one, and just have a "girl's night out" watching it.

Our little theater was quite packed too! Saw a lot of date-night couples watching this together lol. 🤭 I think I saw another group who was doing a girl's night out.

So anyway....

The movie ended up being an enjoyable rollercoaster for all of us lol. It definitely kept my attention, it wasn't boring at all, and it gave many of us several things to talk about/discuss long after the movie was over! I LOVE films that make you think, and that have you talking about it afterwards. Even if we disagree, it's just nice to see a movie like this that sparked a good discussion afterwards. 😊 Here were my Pros/Cons and random thoughts that I had during and after this movie lol....

PROS

Everyone's acting was solid in this! I already knew that Mike and Josh are stellar actors (I've seen them in other projects before, and both have done theater if I'm not mistaken), but ZENDAYA!! Zendaya babeeeee....She surprised me in this one! Dare I say it?? I think "Challengers" was her best acting job yet on the big screen. 👏🏾 She really embodied that "Bad B*itch"/Boss vibe very well imo. She was definitely believable! LOL 😅

The CINEMATOGRAPHY! Omg the cinematography in this film was so good and on point. I loved how the camera would change perspectives during a match (especially the end match) and would switch and show you the ball's pov, then the pov of the players, and whatnot. It was dizzifying switch and camera change for sure lol, but it was very creative. I honestly think that this film could be nominated for an Oscar just for the cinematography alone. 😊👍🏾

The music .... The music was a pro AND a con (more on that later) for me. It had a really hype techno beat throughout the movie, and that really helped to keep the movie hyped and show the fast-pace of the sport. I really liked it! It was catchy lol. 😅

Zendaya was GORGEOUS in this movie! I kept looking at how flawless her skin was in this. It's so rare that we get "adult" Z in her films lol, so it was just nice and refreshing to see her finally playing more of an adult in a big screen role, and seeing her be the desirable/sexy/attractive one in a film for a change. She really looked amazing in this. 😊 I'd love to see her do more roles where she's playing the object of desire. We need more woc in roles like this.

I loved the subtle ways in which Luca shows that tennis is basically like a relationship in this film. I loved that metaphor. I think the little subtle hints for the movie were quite creative, and it's one of those films where I think it would be good to watch at least twice in order to catch more of the subtleties and how the sport related to their relationships and inner dynamics throughout the film.

I LOVED that scene where Patrick and Tashi met up with each other, and it's so WINDY and wild. Just like their relationship.... Windy, unpredicatable, destructive, yet exciting... Unlike her boring relationship with her husband lol. LOVED the subtleties in this film.

I loooved seeing Zendaya in her "Bad Gal" element. Yaaass! 👏🏾 I love it! I think it's harder playing a villain or someone who's not redeeming honestly.

Hahaha I have to give a shoutout to Darnell.... Good seeing him on the screen. Glad he was able to add another big major film on the big screen to his roster lol. 😜

Zendaya's body was BODY GOALS in this film.... 🔥 Can I just say?? I was like, "Dang.... let me keep going to the gym". 👀 And then, the other thought I had was, "Shooooot....no wonder Tom came back ROTFL." 😅🤣 Lemme stop lol.

I loved the anticipation for the final match, and it really kept you on the edge of your feet lol. 😁

CONS

Now for the cons.... 👀

Was it just me?? Or, sometimes the music in this movie was a bit TOO loud Lol. For example, there was a scene where Patrick and Tashi were talking in the hotel, and the techno music is SO LOUD that I could barely even make out what they were saying (and it seemed important too). Maybe it's just me.... But at times, the music was drowning out the dialog, and I didn't like that. Anyone know what Patrick and Tashi said to each other at the hotel when the music got to be so loud lol? 😅

I STILL hate that "my little white boys" line ...UGH! It's SO CRINGGGGGE! 😫😩🙈

I definitely saw a LOT more sausage and moons than I expected to see in this movie lol... 👀 😅 I meannnnn.... Idk... Is male frontal nudity EVER really necessary?? Let's be honest lol. I honestly don't think so. I kind of wonder why it's even needed?? (I say the same thing about female frontal nudity as well). Idk, sometimes I wonder why certain directors make that choice to add that in, when it's not even necessary 9 times out of 10. I just don't like things being done gratuitously . Like, gratuitous sex scenes for example.

I'll be honest, I didn't really care too much for some of the plotlines and writing in the film.... 😬 I'll also just come right out and say it... I kind of wish that Z had done a slightly different film than this for her big-screen lead role debut. I kind of wish it weren't such an "adult" film with a ton of sexual themes and elements. I kinda wish too that Tashi was not personified in the way that she was. It's one thing to be a very determined and dedicated athlete, but another thing altogether to be the stereotypical cold, icy, attitude-having diva. I also look at this from a woc/black woman's pov as well. Part of me feels like we as Black women are so hypersexualized (and seen as "grown") , and stereotyped as having "attitudes" from such a young age, and it just makes me feel like women/female actresses shouldn't have to get naked or be overly sexualized in order to win awards or get good critical acclaim for their roles. (I read that the film Emma Stone won an Oscar for this year, "Poor Things", had a lot of sex and nudity in it as well....🥴) Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "prude", but when it comes to WOC, I just want better for us since we're already so stereotyped and stigmatized. Like, why couldn't Z's big-screen lead role debut be the Ronnie Spector Biopic film?? Or, why couldn't it be a film like "Hidden Figures" where she's playing a black female mathematician who aids in the space launch? I don't feel like you have to resort to sex or get undressed in your underwear to be taken "seriously" as a "serious actor", but maybe the meaty roles for adult women in Hollywood that don't add that in are really scarce. Anyway, that was my only gripe. 😊

RANDOM THOUGHTS & QUESTIONS

When people claimed that there wasn't any real redeeming character in this film...boyyyyy...they weren't KIDDING!!! 🤣 I don't mind characters who aren't perfect or aren't the best though, so that didn't bother me. My only question was.... Why on earth did Tashi hate Patrick so much?? Does anyone else know?? 😅 I kept waiting and waiting during the movie to see some big REVELATION of something really HORRIBLE that he did to Tashi in order to deserve the type of hate that she dished out to him, but I couldn't figure out anything?? I mean, I know they dated each other at one time when they were younger, but I don't see why she's still hating on this man in her 30's when they dated in their teens and early 20s lol. 😅 She's out here married and even has like a 6 year old kid and is STILL hating on this man.... WHY?? 😅 Can someone PLEASE explain that to me?? Cuz right now, I can only surmise that the only reason why Tashi is so mean to Patrick is because deep down, she's still attracted to him, so she has to hate on him in order to curb that HAHAHA. 🤣 Maybe I'm just a Patrick-sympathizer lol, but I can't really see how he was a bad boyfriend or how he did anything wrong?? Yes, he shouldn't have slept with Tashi (Art's WIFE), but HE was single.... TASHI was the one married, so really, SHE was the main one at fault here as far as I'm concerned lol. 😅

Why did Art and Patrick like Tashi so much?? I mean, aside from the fact that she was gorgeous (obviously lol)....She seemed like such a ballbuster and treated them like crap lol.

Mike has a cute butt lol 🤭

Josh does a really good American accent. I only heard it go out and switch off like maybe once or twice lol. Only slightly lol. 😅

BTW, in case you were wondering...I'm Team Patrick lol.... 🤭 He was just a washed up bum of an athlete lol. I feel like Art and Tashi were way more manipulative. Jmho. I do kinda feel bad for Art though on some level, cuz it was CLEAR Tashi was in a boring, lifeless marriage and didn't really love him anymore lol.

I saw people in our audience gasping and covering their mouths during some of the sexual scenes lol. I could tell a couple of the girls in the theater were fans of Zendaya and had never seen her in such a role before hahaha. Some were laughing at some of the sexual stuff and it was like uncomfortable laughter/giggling lol. The guys included lol. 🤭

I'm not sure what awards this film will be up for, but seeing as how it's a film by Luca, we might actually see Z getting an Oscar nod for this!! Or, at the very least, maybe engaged in a FYC campaign. I can see it. Luca is very well-known...his film CMBYN garnered Oscar nods (including an Oscar nod for Timothee), and Z is Hollywood's Darling atm, soooo idk y'all! We might be looking at "Oscar-Nominated Actress" Zendaya next year! I guess we'll have to see lol. 😊

I looooved that Z was able to work with such a renowned and well-liked film director. I'm glad she got that experience. She's been working with some great directors lately (ie. Luca, Denis, etc), and I love that for her. It seems like FFC was also eyeing her for one of his roles at one time as well. So, I'm so proud of our girl!!! 👏🏾

OVERALL

Overall.... Definitely a fun, joyride of a film. 😊 VERY creatively done. So far, I haven't really been THAT impressed with Luca's films (CMBYN being the other one I've seen), but his films def make you THINK, long after they're over, that's for sure lol. The movie was fun and enjoyable to watch. There were just a few things that I felt could have been better imo.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.5/10

[idleorbitals]

sandray being paralleled by their entire surroundings in ofts ep 8, exhibit b: yo and plug

just for funsies let's look at sand's dead eyed gaze while plug is saying heartbrokenly: you know she flirted with me for a month? I refused. time after time. but now I want to get serious, she says she doesn't want it anymore

and here's a nice shot of each of them reacting to if you really think nobody in this world wants to get serious with you, then you'd better stay alone:

oh yeah! ouch!

and here is sand telling plug to take it easy and reaching out to stop him walking away

aka: I've decided that's not how we treat the people who are hurting us with their abandonment issues

the moment that yo and plug have interrupted here is, appropriately enough, sand turning to leave, then telling ray let me go already and pulling his hand away when ray tries to restrain him. but he hasn't actually made any further move to go, and I'm not convinced that he's about to. when yo and plug arrive, sand and ray are still standing staring forlornly at each other, to a slow acoustic riff that I'm so sure is intentionally channeling brokeback mountain.

when plug has given up and gone sand pulls p'yo into his arms and after a beat ray comes over and puts one hand tentatively on her shoulder. they are both comforting a friend here, and also they are both seeing themselves in all of it: ray as yo, who is sabotaging her own happiness because of the ways she's been hurt before, and sand as plug, who values his own ability to give love and is tired of feeling strung along by someone he has real feelings for.

it reads as a little uplifting to me that ray is reaching out, however uncertainly, to his mirror here. and sand, for the first time since this episode began, looks suddenly back on solid ground: he's familiar with the caretaker role, and at ease in it.

10:1 plug and yo are getting back together in this story, because their problems are the kind of no-one-has-done-real-wrong ones that in fiction at least can be set aside. and sandray? they're about to face at least a few more of the problematic-even-in-fiction problems, but honestly despite what's coming up for them this episode, I'd say the parallel holds here

...?

[ered]

in case you've missed it, and I'm assuming most of you have, we're having a presidential election here in Finland. First round is currently going on, so I thought I'd give you a quick run down of our candidates!

(in alphabetical order, party in parentheses)

Mika Aaltola (independent): Has mainly worked in academia and apparently has experience in international politics, which is good for the job. I honestly know next to nothing about this dude, but he seems to positively radiate Just Some Guy energy. What would be interesting about him winning: I have no idea. Chances of winning: Ehhh - but it wouldn't be the first time we get a president from outside the daily politics.

Li Andersson (Left Alliance): current leader of the Left Alliance, former Minister of Education. What most people seem to say about her: "she's clearly the best choice, but has no chance of winning so I won't be voting for her." What would be interesting about her winning: first Left Alliance president Chances of winning: Unfortunately slim. Left Alliance is a small party and half of the country still seems to think they're Evil Communists.

Sari Essayah (Christian Democrats): she's also the leader of her party. Most known for being a former racewalker and religious. What would be interesting about her winning: How the hell did it happen??? Chances of winning: zero.

Pekka Haavisto (Green League): Former Minister of the Environment, International Development, and Foreign Affairs (three different terms, not all at once). He was born in 1958 and hasn't done much beyond politics. He's been in the presidential race twice already too, both times losing to our current president, Sauli Niinistö. What would be interesting about him winning: first gay president. Chances of winning: he made it to the final round twice already, so maybe third time's a charm? He has been polling first this time around.

Jussi Halla-aho (Finns Party): a prominent rightwing blogger, a Slavic linguist by education, and the current Speaker of the Parliament. He's "immigration critical" in the same vein "gender criticals" tend to be. He's is considered something of an intellectual in the rightwing circles despite having the vibes of an anthropomorphic raisin, and has amassed a cult following - who literally call him Mestari (master, but in Finnish the vibes are more a master of a trade and not some dude who spanks you in the bedroom. What would be interesting about him winning: finding out if I can immigrate to Denmark. Chances of winning: none if I can help it, but like I said, he does have a very solid fanbase.

Hjallis Harkimo (Movement Now): best known for being the owner of an ice-hockey team or something. His real name is Harry and for some reason he has been elected into the parliament twice. I assume it's the famous allure of a "successful businessman" or because he's something of a celebrity? Who knows. What would be interesting about him winning: How did it happen? Chances of winning: slim.

Olli Rehn (Centre Party): Served as the Minister of Economic Affairs for like a year under our most fuck-witted prime minister in recent history. Not much else to say about it. Somehow seems older than Pekka Haavisto tho he's actually younger. What would be interesting about him winning: absolutely nothing. He's so dull it's almost offensive. Chances of winning: who knows? Maybe he'll be a dark horse if all other candidates fall flat.

Alexander Stubb (National Coalition Party): Former Prime Minister, and former Minister of Finance. He's ehhhhhh not the worst possible option, honestly, and is on the more liberal side of the Rich Getting Richer party. What would be interesting about him winning: how will he be different from our current (National Coalition Party) president, I guess Chances of winning: last I checked, he was polling second, so I guess it's a possibility?

Jutta Urpilainen (Social Democratic Party): Former Minister of Finance. Social Democrats are one of the biggest parties we have, but they took a while deciding on who to pick. She's alright. Social Democrats are usually fine, and she'a long term Social Democrat. What would be interesting about her winning: uhh... possibly the first president to have released a Christmas album? Chances of winning: I just don't think she's that popular, to be honest. But she might make it into top three at least, like I said, it's one of the biggest parties behind her.

[blackjack-15]

Hi I just got through reading all of your liveblogging posts about The Bear! It was a delight to read all of your real-time predictions that ended up coming true, you really had this show’s number from the jump lol. Do you have any predictions for next season? Most fans think Carm and Syd are headed for an explosive confrontation, but are any other storylines, scenes, character beats, etc. that you think we might see?

This is super nice of you, anon! thank you so much for following my chaotic ramblings XD and hey it's a lot easier to know what might happen in the show when they've got such competent writers/directors! tho they surprised me a fair number of times (i don't think i'll be over the interplay/intercuts of claire, carmy, and syd at the end of 2X07/start of 2X08 any time soon), which keeps things fun

as far as predictions for next season...i think it's hard to say without having the first five minutes of S3 in front of me (they do such a good job setting up the tone and conflicts of the season in the first little bit of S1 and S2!), but i've got

a couple things i'm pretty sure about:

-more REM songs (only thing i'm 100% positive on)

-more kitchen/cooking time for our mains, especially carmy. last season's renovations + cliche john hughes nonsense kept him mostly out of the kitchen from ep 3 on, and i'm 99% sure he'll be back with a knife in hand come S3

-nat giving birth to a girl (i'd love it but am not solid on predicting she'd be named some derivative of 'mary' (or a name meaning 'victory', such as nicole), given the berzatto family prayer).

i know the temptation for her to have a boy named after michael is strong b/c it's TV, but this series (rightly, in my mind) tends away from Lionizing the Dead simply b/c they're dead, and after spending S2 breaking down mikey (and showing mikey and nat's relationship, which like ever berzatto relationship wasn't super healthy), i'm hopeful and trusting the writers to avoid this. it wouldn't make me hate the show or anything, but it would honestly disappoint me unless done in a way (i honestly can't think of what way) that would make it okay. plus pete kinda screams girldad to me, and seeing carmy and richie with a little niece would be incredibly precious

-sydcarmy dustup of some kind, but i doubt it'll be as explosive as we've seen in the past, mostly b/c syd was stressed but exhilarated by success at friends & family and b/c i think carmy's (lack of) mental health will be brought up in relation to it

-solidifying of a secondary staff at the bear to let our regulars breathe a bit and have the bear feel like a real, functioning kitchen, not a mom and pop greasy spoon -- this started at the end of s2 but it needs to continue

-cicero setting the tone of the first few months of The Bear (and probably his commentary on carmy's relationships) -- we're not out of the realm of Complete and Utter Failure yet, lads, and the money is gonna come due -- whether by the guise of Friendly Uncle Jimmy visiting with Nat, or the mask of Cicero the Loan Shark coming out in full force

-art storyline with carmy figuring out what will replace the awful painting (i'm going to guess it'll be something of his design, but it'll at least be something he feels represents him, given the comments last season)

-major theme of carmy figuring out what he wants vs what others want for him. him analyzing his relationship with claire by himself -- or, my preference, talking it out with Tina, who he seems to be able to open up to pretty well -- is part of this

things that have to happen but i have no idea how/to what resolution:

-carmy and richie addressing the "donna" fight/comment. it's gonna be multi-ep (neither one is great at complimenting the other to their face and tend to do it behind the other's back, but richie is especially bad at it), and it's gonna hurt.

-pete spilling the beans to Someone (not nat but not sure who) about donna being at f&f

-resident claire's poor little hurt feelings from trespassing into the kitchen and eavesdropping on then leaving carmy in the middle of a really, really bad attack (yes i'm phrasing it that way because it's true <3)

-something about tiff's upcoming wedding (marcus getting contracted/recommended to make dessert for it would be painful but oh so crunchy)

-carmy meets syd's dad. he's proud of her and her success and you know he's gonna want to meet her business partner

nebulous predictions:

-ebra's storyline with him carving out a niche at the sandwich window getting screentime

-tina coming more into her own and maybe getting a designated storyline (about what? no idea)

-more gary nonsense. man lives the wildest life and we see almost none of it

-carmy working through what cooking means to him and what it means in relation to the bear/the berzattos/sydney

-nat's water breaks/she goes into labor at the bear. not sure the baby will actually be born there (i'd guess probably not on the whole), but the process will Begin there

-syd distraction/love interest storyline. not even her dating particularly, just her attention being Split and having the shoe be on the other foot for carmy as they navigate what being business partners means outside the kitchen

-fak time. he's a little uncertain, a little wandering in the restaurant, and he was a major...antagonistic force, let's say? in S2. his place in the world of the bear needs clarification and harmony, and his identity needs solidity and sureness

things that aren't impossible/improbable but would be a Little Treat for Me specifically:

-chef jess being invited to the bear by richie (let the man have people outside the bear and his kid/ex! garrett may come too i'll allow it)

-the return of louie my beloved (helping out at the sandwich window? he makes a good foil to Young Carmy, so i would like to see him more -- carmy in Full Mentorship would be a thing to see, and it would be a being-better-than-mikey-was-to-him thing as well. it's narratively crunchy and provides lots of room for growth, but can be done in ways that don't involve louie, so that's why it's here)

-syd's best meal + comment about being a regular at The Beef coming back. do i think they eventually will? yes. am i aware that my desire for them is prolly stronger than it narratively should be be predicted? also yes. could this easily be combined with carmy meeting syd's dad? yes and i will break the sound barrier

-carmy drawing a dish syd comes up with. a hand-drawn menu for the bear would be Incredible, and syd's face looking at a sistine-chapel-style drawing of a dish she came up with? tremendous, chef

thing that i want to be brought up more than Anything but don't predict it'll be touched (at least directly):

-carmy yelling for syd during his attack in the walk-in (i'm sorry you can't have the man yelling "MARCUS GET ME SYD. GET ME SYD" and expect me not to want it on a billboard

that got long, sorry anon, but there we go -- 4am rambling off-the-cuff about S3...only months to go, hopefully....

[libertineangel]

Hey Clashblr, check these out

Since there's a few of you around now that are still getting into some of the deeper cuts, I thought I'd put together a post highlighting some of the oft-forgotten obscure material for you to check out. Gonna stick it under a cut, 'cause there's a fair bit and Youtube links take up a lot of space on the dash.

Fasten your seatbelts, hold onto your hats, let's go yeah?

First up we have The Escapades of Futura 2000, lyrics by the man himself with music written & played by the Clash. Futura was the rapper on Overpowered By Funk, and also a graffiti artist who accompanied the band on the Combat Rock tour across the US painting stage backdrops live through the gigs. This particular upload is the 12" mix, which has a good extra minute over the version released last year on The People's Hall.

Here we've got the complete double-sided 12" 19-minute experience of This Is Radio Clash - the track we all know and love to open, then the more commonly remembered B-side Radio Clash (almost identical, not quite the same), then things get real funky with Outside Broadcast, and Radio Five ties it all together. Those last two have never seen a reissue on any compilation whatsoever, probably the most obscure tracks in their entire official discography.

This one's Robber Dub, a remix of Bankrobber from Mikey Dread (not to be confused with Rockers Galore, his other remix that actually features him on vocals). Featured on Super Black Market Clash but interestingly not in the "complete" Sound System box set, an omission that's always perplexed me.

Speaking of, I'd thoroughly recommend checking out both of the mentioned collections if you're not familiar, between Super Black Market & Sound System you've got every officially-released song other than those two Radio Clash extras - so, with that in mind, let's dive into the real offcuts that never even made it onto a record.

How's about seven and a half minutes of Topper playing around with a drumkit & piano to start us off? Some people still don't believe this is even The Clash, that someone scrounged up some random sounds and stuck it on a bootleg, but that's bollocks because I'm pretty sure bits of it ended up in Hell W10, their endearingly crap short film from '81 (watch it here, it's a 50-minute London crime drama). What people are wrong about is that it was ever going to be on Rat Patrol From Fort Bragg, because this is the real tracklist; relatedly, there's alternate mixes of most of those tracks around if you care to look for them, they're not hard to find, except for the high-quality acetate rip that surfaced two years ago that has been scrubbed off the face of the fucking internet, from the 20 minutes I just spent searching it seems even Internet Archive wasn't able to withstand the might of CBS. Anyway...

OK, so technically this one has made it to a record, but that record was the Vanilla Tapes bonus disc of the 2004 reissue of London Calling, it never actually got beyond demo stage. Honestly I doubt they ever really expected or intended it to, sounds to me like the band having fun in the studio, but fun it is. There's actually a few demo-only Vanilla Tapes tracks I could stick here, but this is long as fuck already so instead I will simply give you the lot to peruse at your leisure.

Sticking with demos that eventually got an obscure release, this one is from the Give 'Em Enough Rope sessions but wasn't heard until the On Broadway compilation in '91. It's a solid number of course, they hardly put a foot wrong, but it's nothing groundbreaking.

This is from that same compilation, from the same sessions, it's a cover of the classic soul tune and I like it. Understated, gentle but with that pained passion in the vocals Mick carries so well, and that nice subtle bass is a sweet touch.

Our last couple of tracks are live numbers, and this one's a special one-off performance with the great Beat poet Allen Ginsberg, from the 10th June date of their infamous Bond's residency. He wrote it specifically to perform with the band, six minutes of cantankerous complaining about just about any ideology you care to name while the band (and their sound man, gotta credit those perfectly-timed dub echoes) give a strident backing. Topper was on fucking fire for those gigs, just listen to that kick drum.

And finally let's close out where they began, way back in '76 with Keith Levene. This one's probably my favourite of their earliest offcuts, but personally I prefer an even earlier version of it that Youtube doesn't seem to have, from their third ever gig (and first known recording) at the classic Screen on the Green punk showcase. Five of the thirteen tracks on that setlist never made it to the studio, plus it includes the original lyrics to I'm So Bored With You, and it's all here.

[pinksilvace]

I really gotta know honest question, why do you like Cars 2 so much? I thought the B plot was kinda interesting but I didn't like Mater, which is rough when he's the main character of the movie

OOOOH OH MAN I'm going to try to make this succinct because there's SO MUCH I could talk about here and I don't want to spend three hours writing this post so here goes.

(EDIT: it wasn't three hours but it's still long)

As an important bit of context, you should know that there was a collection of months last year during which my friends and I would get together for lunches on Sundays and spend a solid two hours talking about Cars lore, and so much of it is introduced in Cars 2.

It's also important to note that I've always liked Mater as a character. I think he foils Lightning really beautifully and that their friendship is extremely natural.

Film Structure

The pacing is decent, the dialogue feels in-character, and there is a clear three act structure. I'd seen enough anti-Cars 2 propaganda to think that it was, perhaps, just a bad film I liked, but it's honestly pretty well made.

I like that the main conflict is about Mater and Lightning mending their relationship and the sub-conflict is about terrorism. Others would call that a plot hole. I think it's interesting. There's something to be said about how the personal scope of the Cars films (because all three of them are very focused on POV) reflects how different major events in our lives take on different meanings.

If the movie was about Finn, it would have a different climax; it would fully be a spy movie. Controversial take, but I don't think Cars 2 is a spy movie; it's a movie that happens to have spy antics. At no point, when faced with an alternative, does Mater think about giving up everything he has to live the spy life.

I also really like that the break-up between him and Lightning feels extremely mature. There's no big fight; Lightning yells at him, as he is wont to do (because he's still a developing character in this!!!! wahoo!!!) and Mater's response is essentially to say, "Okay, this isn't working. I'm being a distraction. I'm going to go home, we can both cool down, and I can give you a proper apology there, and in the meantime, I hope you know I really am sorry." Honestly, it's refreshing.

Funny Factor

I laugh an EMBARRASSING amount whenever I watch this movie. There's always something I never noticed before. The landmarks??? The car puns??? The absurdity of it all??? THIS SCENE???

Maybe it's because some parts of this film have such a serious tone, but my god, there are few experiences as wonderful as watching Cars 2 with a group of friends.

Questions raised about the Cars universe

I could not possibly address them all, but here's a selection of my favorites.

The spy cars can't hold weapons; instead, those weapons are built into the cars themselves. Does that make them body mods? Is Finn McMissile a cyborg by our common understanding of that term?

If so, DID MATER RECEIVE NON-CONSENTUAL BODY MODIFICATIONS???

The existence of airplane security screenings as presented implies that 9/11 took place in the Cars universe.

The pope-mobile rides in a pope-mobile...mobile?

We get more hints about what cars were like prior to the invention of cars, and they all just look like old cars, but I must wonder: did they evolve from wagons?

We see Mater & co travel in planes, trains, and via boat, all of which are sentient. In the original Cars, the only transport option we see is trucks like Mack, which run with the same transport logic as the cars. Are the planes relegated only to certain portions of society? Are the trains relegated only to their tracks? Do the boats live with the sort of infrastructure familiar to us (the audience) and the cars, or do they have entirely different cultural systems? Must they always return to the docks? Are there baby boats? Are they smaller? Do they grow up and thus become different models? I'm cutting this one off here because I know from experience that this line of questioning can go on forever

We hear from Finn's associate that Finn saved him from being impounded, thus confirming a new form of death in the Cars universe. One can assume that some cars break down naturally over time, which parallels both real cars and human beings, and Rod Redline is blown up (another recognizable form of death), but what would impounding be? Execution? Euthanasia? Anyway, I'll just leave this here:

Disability

It's really not hard to say that Cars 2 is a film centered around disability in both of its conflicts. This point connects to each of the other sections above in a lot of ways, but again, I think this is a factor that makes the film very interesting from an objective standpoint. It's not a common thing to see.

The main conflict - that between Lightning and Mater - stems from Mater's behavior and how uncomfortable Lightning is with Mater unabashedly being himself. Now, Mater is very autistic-coded. It's especially prominent when you remember he's supposed to be 49 in the first film (54 in Cars 2) and has bonded in a very particular way with each of the cars in Radiator Springs, all of which act as a very strong support network for one another and especially for Mater, who has no conflicts with any of them despite the "eccentricities" that annoy Lightning.

Maybe folks are bothered by the fact that Mater doesn't have an arc in Cars 2 (or at least not a strong one), but that's because conflict 1's arc doesn't belong to Mater. It belongs to Lightning. The whole point is that Mater doesn't have to change for people to like him the way he is, so much so that Finn assumes he's constantly putting on an act by being himself. It's a bit heartbreaking, to be honest. It also flies over a lot of the audiences' heads; I think many people think Mater was made annoying on accident, but I'm not so sure.

The second focus on disability is a lot weirder and raises a LOT more questions and is almost unquestionably negative representation and is STILL FASCINATING to me. Conflict 2, the spy plot, focuses on "lemons" as the bad guys. They're cars that have been pushed aside by society because they're lower-functioning than the rest. Their parts break more often. They can't drive as far. You know.

So, what do these disabled cars do? They band together and decide to start killing the world's greatest athletes AND make a plot to make electric energy look bad because they all happen to be oil barons. Okay! Wild! Not great! Surely, the "underdog elite" theme hasn't been underlying conspiracies for forever, thus adding a hint of antisemitism to the ableism! Cool! Why? (it's because people are used to hating people in these categories and that makes them an easier enemy for the audience. or something. the writers probably just didn't think this through. it's also easy to miss, seeing as they're. y'know. cars.)

In a way, it's good this is the subplot, since the directors could avoid actually addressing this group and the causes of their motivations by making it Finn & co's business and not Mater's. Even so, it's not a route that anybody would have expected this movie to take, and it's even rarer to see disability represented on both sides of a conflict instead of just one. Imagine if Cars 2 had capitalized just slightly more on Mater's friendly connections with lemons. Would a well-thought out plot line surrounding this concept fit the Cars universe? Probably not, since it's established itself to be about racing, but man oh man do I think about it.

TLDR

One can say that Cars 2 is a bad film if they like, but it can never be said that Cars 2 is a bad piece of art, because boy howdy, it sure provides a lot to talk about.

[evilwickedme]

👀 I would love to hear more about aroace Jason

so there's actually a nice amount of canon evidence for this, most of which was not intended to be canon evidence for this. I saw many of these panels on tiktok originally and unfortunately many of them have been deleted, but at least one that I have bookmarked is still up by user goodusername28 so you can go check that out.

anyway, to sum up, robin!jason is a precious baby who was written to be simply too innocent to understand why people want romantic relationships, but also he was fourteen/fifteen at the time which when many people (including myself!) get in their first relationships and even fall in love for the first time, and him expressing disgust at Bruce being in a romantic relationship can also easily be read as him not being able to understand or relate to wanting to have a relationship at all.

when it comes to adult!jason, honestly he hasn't really had the time to date that much, but the few relationships that they do try to give him all seem to crash and burn really quickly and he never seems to me to be that invested, or the relationships even happen entirely off screen (apparently after they've hooked him up with rose wilson in a couple of elseworlds stories {there's one where they're married I think??}, they decided to mention that he and rose "used to date" in canon. when tho. literally when. he don't got the time!). in n52 rhato he simply does not catch onto the fact that a stereotypically hot flight attendant is hitting on him and once they do go on a date seems honestly surprised that she'd want to kiss him. canonically they do fuck, but a. acearo people still have sex b. scott lobdell can't write, so I take what I want from his shitty writing and leave the best behind. they also repeat the whole jason being weird about consenting adults being in relationships around him sometimes as an adult, which is just hilarious cause they also insist on writing him as someone who fucks. pick a struggle, dude.

canonically the first time jason has sex is with talia shortly before he returns to gotham, and when you read the issue it's just. honestly, he doesn't express any attraction to her and I don't understand why he slept with her and it makes their already weird relationship basically incoherent, which is why so many fics ignore it happening altogether. but when it comes to my headcanon, if I choose to acknowledge that was a thing that went to print? it was about comfort. like, she is the only thing that's really familiar and safe for him right that moment, and if she comes onto him and you choose not to interpret that as an assault, it's gotta be that he accepts for that reason. and that's not desire.

there is more evidence, some specific panel stuff, but like obviously this is an interpretation that dances around canon. dc comics does not want us to think that jason is aroace. jason is a hot anti-hero, obviously he fucks. except like. he really doesn't. he's so fucking bad at relationships. he does not have any steady romantic interests. except for damian, who's still a literal child (and even then still has had a romantic interest in teen titans apparently), he's simply had the least romantic plotlines of all the robins (tim and steph count for each other, for one, plus after this week's issue of batgirls you can basically count stephcass as canon, dick has had numerous love interests with the most notable ones being babs and kory, obviously, and tim is the actual slut of the family, like dude really gets around).

and honestly I just like it? like I think it vibes with his character very well. if I'm writing him, I'm probably either writing him as demi or as aroace, depends on the story I'm telling. I have yet to come across a bad a-spec!jason fic (I've already rec'd all the ones I have tho, so go ahead and make new ones I'd fucking love that). it's just a solid headcanon.

to go into more detail about my specific headcanon, in my mind jason really hasn't had the chance to figure out that he is ace. I don't think he's even had the chance to figure out he has "equal attraction" to both genders. like my guy's been through a lot. he was a teenager and then he exploded and then he came back to life and was cutting heads off people and then he was a villain for a bit and then his dad died and then his dad wasn't dead and then reality got rewritten and he was a part of this team and then he was part of batman incorporated and then another team and also his brother died but it turned out his brother wasn't really dead and then his other brother died and this brother really was dead but he was brought to life by his dad and then his dad had amnesia and there was -

okay so basically what I'm saying is I don't know how anybody in the batfam has time for a romantic life, but certainly jason has not had the time or emotional space to figure out he does not want one. I don't think he looks at other people and wonders why he's not in a relationship, he's too busy being a crime lord and/or having daddy issues. like if he's going to be looking at strangers and longing for what they have it's like, a superficially happy and loving father/son relationship. he wants very much to belong and to be loved. but both canonically and in my own headcanon, he's not particularly motivated by romantic love.

anyway so yeah acearo jason fucks. or wait, no, that's -

[spotsupstuff]

what happened to boreas during the events of saint's campaign? I'd have figured because of his self sustaining properties, he'd be one of the last iterators actually functional before saint inevitably bababooeys him

-snaps fingers n fingerguns atcha- you got That right, buckaroo! Boreas indeed is still kicking just fine when Saint enters the Aeolus Root ring, especially if you ignore his mental state consisting of crushing loneliness and nasty ass giant case of guilt. i told Shkiki this- i geniunely think he'd only die if a lot of ice would block his water filtration systems. he's like a damn cucaracha

(see, Beebee is stationed very high up north n i think he's close enough to the sea that he uses That as his water supply. he runs Very cold, much more so than a normal Iterator- this is mostly the case cuz i wanna give the greek god Boreas shout out with it, but in-universe can be blamed on his sheer massive size. he needs to keep himself as cold as possible. can't exactly cool his systems with solid ice tho and so this person who doesn't like/can't handle other people Needs these other people that warm up the atmosphere n keep the polar caps at bay. so honestly even tho he's fine n dandy when Saint finds him, he was already living on borrowed time)

Saint has a bossfight with Boreas just like with Sliver except Boreas is.. kinda more sturdy n also more aggressive n has a bigger chamber- he's like Sliver+, that girl was a weasel. hard mode Sliver.

it takes a bit, but eventually Boreas' puppet falls and the antigravity stutters to a stop. i imagine that working iterators that put up a fight need multiple blasts before they completely die because each blast is killing only a portion of the Hivemind, then the rest of it rushes to fill in the holes, that gets blasted and the process is repeated until there's no more of the collective left. so you can imagine what kind of state B is prolly in after like 9 direct blasts

torn apart, exhausted and so much more smaller n lonelier than before, Boreas finally stops fighting and instead huddles in a corner. for once absolutely terrified out of his mind n insterestingly enough- regretful. he tries to send out a warning signal to the rest of the group, but he can't manage it with how diminished he's become. Saint approaches. Boreas doesn't plead for mercy. he stares the rat down even when its eyes wildly flash

Saint finishes him off. Leaves. Notos watched the whole thing

to say that Notos is fuckin Traumatized from that is an understatement. its special overseer stays with Boreas' puppet beeping at it for an hour, waiting for him to wake up. but of course, nothing

now, i'll add- Beebee n Notty didn't ever really Fully Click together. either they didn't interact much because of their "i gotta work, man" mentalities, they were shit at interaction or they barked at each other (even in mythology it says that fights between Boreas and Notos were catastrophic and absolutely terrifying- fun fact! Notos actually seems more dangerous than Boreas from what i've read n this Is meant to be reflected with the Anemoi Iterators too). like i've had the idea that when Notos calls for an elder brother n Boreas n Euros look up, it'd specify "the elder brother that I actually appreciate" when needin Euros

either way, these two were still siblings and Boreas *did* Mentor Notos when it needed it (along with Euros; the Winds r kinda like a lil self-sustaining group within the bigger group- they are "Elite"/Leading Iterators of The Children of Eo after all) n they still like... Loved each other. even when Notos cut the communications with him after everything started going down the drain, it still loved him. n it regrets some things it said to him (thoughtless.. cruel things...) but cuz of the way it is as a person it never decided to step up n be the one to reestablish contact and apologize

and now Boreas is dead. one of the first iterators of the group gone, maybe the third. it can never say now, how it is so sorry and never meant it

[marley-manson]

Ok so this is my controversial mash take, but I feel like a really interesting direction for the show to go post season 4 and 5 would have been to make potter a straight up villain. Basically, the early seasons of the show set up a dynamic where generally everyone was one of the ‘good guys’ except for two (Margaret and frank) and they used their authority (as majors, and also as Margaret knew a lot of generals to cause problems for the camp. The show obviously matured from that, and gave Margaret a proper character arc, but that left frank as the only real antagonist, and even then, a much more cartoonish and watered down one. I feel the better direction would have been to keep Margaret’s arc the same, but make potter the new villain, with Charles serving as a minor antagonist, but mainly a good guy with some questionable morals, as he does in the first few seasons he’s in the show. This would have kind of reintroduced that threat of getting in serious trouble from the early seasons that I felt was lacking from the later ones, where everyone was just a big family and the critique of the military lost its edge. Having potter as so regular army that he becomes more of an antagonist would have been a way to continue that critique, and also would have allowed for more exploration of his character. I say this as someone who loves potter and the later seasons of the show, idk it just popped into my head and I wanted to tell someone

You've come to the right place because I completely agree!

Without Frank, with Margaret softening and becoming one of the guys, with all the representatives of the military in the cast made to be likeable (and even most of those single-episode representatives outside the cast), the show almost entirely lost its anti-authority vibe and military critique to settle into a much less political 'war bad' message.

And like it's not terrible, the later show still has a lot of great character stuff and maybe the refocus away from satire and towards character exploration was part of why it lasted so long. But man I do think that we could've still had a solid balance between character focus and anti-military messaging that would've worked even better, and Potter as an antagonist would've been perfect for that.

Even just as a semi-antagonist, fitting his indulgent grandfatherliness and his army man shit. I could see him being very interesting as a character if he was still often likeable, but also had to be fought and outwitted sometimes. And if the show tackled the tension between having a commanding officer who wants to be your frirend but who can (and does! at least once!) cavalierly send you into mortal danger out of pettiness (der tag). (oh wait - also taking the fifth with klinger)

If the show stayed on Klinger's side during his escape attempts instead of wanting us to root for Potter to foil him in a clever way, and framed Potter foiling Klinger as an antagonistic position that disappoints us and makes us resent him.

If the show actually saw Potter as functionally a warden rather than making a few funny jokes about it. If his petty orders were treated as a potentially dangerous misuse of authority rather than lighthearted jokes. If he wasn't necessarily on the draftees' side, and they had a healthy suspicion towards him.

Generally if the show maintained it's anti-authority sentiment instead of pulling a 180 because it's not as cool anymore as we approach the 80s.

Honestly I feel like Henry was framed as more of an antagonist at times than Potter has ever been, like in To Market To Market, or Cowboy, or Love and Marriage, which is honestly kind of bizarre lol. The closest Potter comes to an antagonist role is Dreams (ideal portrayal of Potter tbh) and Wheelers and Dealers, where his tendencies to give petty commands and throw his weight as a colonel around are at least thoroughly mocked by the narrative, rather than treated as loveable quirks.

Like ultimately I'd love it if Potter's characterization stayed basically the same, and the only difference was how the narrative framed him, and how characters react to him sometimes. Like April Fools should've been psychological horror. The Price should've ended with Potter's accidental propaganda campaign sending the Korean kid to his death rather than ~redeeming his cowardice~ lmao god I hate that episode. Hawkeye Get Your Gun's climax should've been properly dark rather than mitigated with drunken humour and they shouldn't have found a compromise - or if they did, Hawkeye should've been troubled by it afterwards, second guessing himself. The Korean Surgeon's ending should've felt darker, rather than 'fair enough colonel, what can you do, good luck at the pow camp.' etc etc.

And sometimes they should have to successfully defy him and scheme behind his back the way they did in the early seasons. And maybe sometimes Potter would have to be a source of potential danger who could have Hawkeye court-martialed. And if Potter was still everyone's "friend," in a way, man that tension when he's framed as an antagonist would be SO interesting to dig into. But every time we get close to something like that it's just treated as a light joke, rather than a source of real conflict (eg the aforementioned ordering Klinger to accompany him into danger for no reason but pettiness in Taking the Fifth) and it's so disappointing.

[signalwatch]

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Watched:  10/21/2023

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  Second, I think

Director:  Francis Ford Coppola

Firstly, this isn't Bram Stoker's actual Dracula.  This is Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992).

I very much remember Coppola, with whose work I'd just become acquainted at age 15 or so, announcing he was going to remake the Universal Monster stuff using the source material.  And as a teen, I was jazzed.  Let's kick the dust off, ditch the stuffy 1930's stylings (I'd never seen the movies at this point) and lets make a Dracula for the 90's!  

All I can really remember from that first movie is that it was... a lot.  The reviews were mixed, but everyone was going to see it, and I was in a packed theatre when I watched it myself.  

Honestly, I remember thinking "well... that was a lot.  And I get why the reviews were mixed."  Halloween night of '93, I went to see the original, and was like "oh, wow.  This is rad.  I get why people love this." and, in fact, my interest in horror movie monsters I'd had as a kid was reignited (along with a VHS copy of Phantom of the Opera) to the point where I'm annoying about it to this day!

Over the years, I've not returned to the Coppola movie because (a) I didn't like it all that much to begin with, and (b) there's so many Draculas.  And one gotta catch 'em all.  

Since seeing this back in '92, I've since read the novel, watched the 1930's original many, many times, seen some sequels to that, watched the Hammer films, watched a clutch of other vampire films and Dracula adaptations - including stage plays, read Carmilla, and basically laid down what I think is a solid foundation.

This movie is super strange.

Like, look.  It's got some amazing ideas, and beautiful visuals.  My exposure to the movie in the internet age has been largely through stills and gifs, and given the dedication to the visual that this movie embraces, its a reminder that the film has some stunning photography, FX, design, costuming, etc....  It's an absolute "spared no expense" endeavor.  

I actually love the fact that the movie uses weird edits and dissolves - the peacock feather to the sun, etc... 

You can't ask for a better cast in 1992.  This is a post Silence of the Lambs Anthony Hopkins getting to play all the cool roles, a height of her fame Winona Ryder, Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes, Billy Campbell, Keanu Reeves, and fucking Tom Waits as Renfield.  And, of course, a young Gary Oldman showing everyone what Gary Oldman can do.

Look, the movie isn't the book, full stop.  Since Lugosi made women swoon in the stage show of Dracula and then in theaters (no, really), the story of Dracula has become weirdly morphed from "agent of Satan slowly murders virgins" to "eternal love story".  

The book provides nothing like the pre-credits sequence to explain why the Count became an agent of the devil other than it sounded like a fun sort of thing to do.  There's no suicide of a wife, no war with the Turks.  There's no attempt to humanize Dracula by giving him a reason he might turn to the forces of darkness with which the audience might sympathize.  

There's just no love story between Dracula and anyone else in the book.  There's Mina having a mix of shocking sympathy for her tormentor (because she's a good person) and a bit of Stockholm Syndrome in the final chapters.   I have read that a lot of the past lives stuff is borrowed from a different Stoker novel about mummies, but it feels straight taken from the Boris Karloff movie The Mummy.  Which makes me wonder what Coppola planned to do for his remake there, had they proceeded as planned.  

There's nothing wrong with making the story a romance - that's what vampire stuff does, I guess.  But Bram Stoker's Dracula essentially turns the story of Dracula into Mina cheating on her boyfriend while he's at work with a dude with no job and a soul patch.  She'll insist they made such a connection (and, ironically, he's also juggling three other ladies she doesn't know about) and she's going to act nuts about it because she's invested so much into her secret little fling when she should write her dude and admit she's banging someone else.

The end result is that no one in the movie is anyone you care about except for maybe Van Helsing.  Mina seems like a dupe, Jonathan is wishy-washy, Lucy is narrative cannon fodder as the horny girl in a horror movie, and the three suitors are stripped of any qualities other than they sure are in the movie, and one has a hat.

Because the movie leans into Mina and Vlad's secret affair, it chews through a lot of plot time and also sets the pacing of the movie somewhat different from the novel.  By necessity, this means - so the movie isn't even longer than what feels like a very, very long two hours - the other characters get some short shrift and plotlines get condensed.  And that's... fine?  

Surely this movie's love affair works for someone out there, just as the Bella/ Edward romance works for a lot of people.  And I'm not opposed to it on its face, I just don't think this movie pulls it off in a way that makes you (a) cheer for the romance or (b) be horrified by Mina's seduction.  It just sorta rolls out, and the dramatic irony of Mina having no idea what's really happening becomes tedious.  And tedious is not good for movies.

I don't blame either actor here (even if sometimes Ryder's Ryderism in her voice gives the game away).  Oldman is maybe at an 8 at his lowest and an 11 for good chunks of the film, but that's what's called for.  Ryder is playing what she's got, but it's hard to know what that is.  We don't get much of who Mina is until she's already in crisis.

What we clearly do get is the idea that this is sexual repression, Victorian style.  And Dracula is supposed to prey on the unspoken horniness of the women - with Mina clearly trying to push Jonathan's Victorian sensibilities, and of which Lucy seems keenly aware as she uses the barest hint of a sexual nature to keep three dudes with options on the line.  

At the time of the movie's release, between fighting prudishness and lots of blood, this was seen by some as a movie for the AIDS/ HIV era, which... I don't think Coppola probably thought about even once.  It's the sort of observation made that is more about how the movie reflects the times, and what the viewer might bring to the film.  I don't think (but don't know) it was made for such a comparison - especially when the novel is clearly about science wrangling with unknown diseases, and the movie skips a lot of that element.  Except...

Our intro to Van Helsing has him discussing syphilis in a medical classroom, and making clear connections between STDs and the moral nature of man, which was quite the rage in the 90's.  I doubt that bit would make the cut in 2023, and it's an odd tie to Van Helsing as mystic scientist and Dracula-chaser. 

Flipping the script of the seduction of Mina is the imprisonment and seduction of Jonathan.  What is curious is that the movie never deals with what Mina knows about Jonathan's time away, how he delivered that info, etc... as it seems she's fully aware of the situation, and  we are robbed of her own reaction.  It's a lot, and she just seems like she's taking it all in stride.  Which, I guess if you've been shtupping a mysterious Eastern prince, you don't make a lot of fuss when your man tells you three hot women forced him into sex daily for a month.

What the movie does offer is spectacle upon spectacle.  And that isn't necessarily wrong.  The portion of the novel that's Jonathan's POV gets really weird, really fast.  But it can be the difference between Jonathan seeing a glimpse of what seems to be wolves in the woods and us seeing Jonathan's wagon from the shoulder POV of wolves, as the movie does.  The suggestion that the count moves unnaturally versus the obvious floating and zipping around the count does on screen that leaves nothing for the viewer to share Jonathan's uncertainty.  But this is a matter of taste.

I do enjoy the "this is a soundstage" look and feel to the exterior shots and the swing-for-the-fences design, including some of the stuff that's a bit risky to try as it can *feel* like it's trying.  The movie really is gorgeous, and there's a reason the stills that people post every Halloween have made me want to revisit the movie.  

Is it scary?  I mean - I think it has its moments.  And it embraces the weirdness of Renfield and Dracula himself as well as any version.  But without really *caring* about Mina or Lucy, the horror of what's happening is more indicated than visceral.  The scariest bit is probably, really, the dudes going into Lucy's crypt, with the first fifteen minutes in Dracula's castle a close second.  There's a lot of space in-between those scenes and after.

What's odd is that this is really considered the other Dracula film, the primary version still the 1931 Lugosi version or the Spanish version.  There have been innumerable versions before and since the 1992 version, but no one really seems interested in just telling the story in the book.  That said, this one is certainly closer than most.  

With endless streaming services, it seems like *someone* would just give it a go.  

By the way, I still think the guy who played the best Dracula in a movie in recent years was Nic Cage in Renfield.  I can only imagine if Coppola had cast his nephew for this what we could have had.

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Cruel Seduction by Katee Robert (Audiobook)

Summary:

Aphrodite agrees to marry Hephaestus in order to keep an enemy of Olympus close. In order to destabilize Hephaestus, Aphrodite decides to seduce his oldest friend Pandora. What she doesn't count on is Hephaestus seducing her ex Adonis in turn, all while their marriage grows more and more contentious...

My review:

This is my first audiobook ARC review and I thought both narrators were good overall. My only note is that the female narrator sounded panicked every time she was narrating a sex scene. This was fine for Pandora's POV since she's a little unsure and out of her depth initially, but for Aphrodite, who's mostly a very confident woman, it just doesn't work tonally.

This is a poly romance with mm, mmf, and ff relationships. Hephaestus and Pandora are just friends, and as far as I can tell, Pandora and Adonis are just friends as well. Katee did a good job of developing all four characters individually and in the context of their romantic relationships.

This book has big Hurt/Comfort energy; both Aphrodite and Hephaestus (and Pandora) had fraught, abusive childhoods and as a result, initially struggle to connect with each other. Cue the classic marriage-of-convenience-but-we-hate-each-other. This is probably why they seek emotional comfort outside their marriage; and even if their initial reasoning is that they want to fuck with each other, Aphrodite is drawn to Pandora the way Hephaestus is drawn to Adonis, because they find some measure of peace with them. And it's through Adonis and Pandora that Aphrodite and Hephaestus come to an understanding and eventually fall for one another.

There is a lot of Olympian politics in this book. Aphrodite is a key player in city politics and Hephaestus... well, poor man is trying. Adonis is an expert at PR manipulation (which Hephaestus takes advantage of), and there is the ongoing mystery of what Minos's plot to destabilize Olympus entails, and how his children play into it. Oh, and there are multiple assassination attempts. You've been warned.

The sex:

Excellent, as per Katee's usual. I enjoyed the unique dynamics between all the characters within the polycule. Here's what I enjoyed the most:

a) I GASPED at a "fuck me like you love me" sex scene that occurred just barely midway— it really hit on an emotional level because honestly, these two need some emotional comfort even if they're lying to themselves about this being "just lust".

b) At one point Hephaestus basically smushes Aphrodite and Adonis together and is like "kiss her better" which..... he does. In more ways than one. And that really sets the tone for that scene and this particular triad.

c) There is many a "husband" and "wife" during sex (mostly ironically until it's very unironic) and the odd "good boy", which I appreciated

d) Like I said, every dynamic is different but Aphrodite getting some of her moves from Hephaestus and using them on Pandora made me smile because she's barely willing to admit she likes him, and yet...

Overall:

This is another solid addition to the Dark Olympus series. It kept me on my toes and I enjoyed all four of the main characters and their romantic arcs. I'd recommend this book to any fan of the series, and if you're interested in giving Cruel Seduction a shot, I'd recommend reading the books preceding it.

Thank you to Dreamscape Media and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

[notmoreflippingelves]

For the pairing ask meme: Jo/Laurie from Little Women (really curious about it!) And Carla/Mateo from EoA (because kinda love your Mateo roasting and takes 😁)

Jo/Laurie (????)

This is hard, because I don't know whether I ship it or not. I do but I don't. I think if I were to guess I'd say overall, I primarily don't except for Winona Ryder!Jo/Christian Bale! Laurie from Little Women (1994). I guess I'm going to go with "no" overall, because honestly as much as I love that adaptation, Christian Bale Laurie is arguably too "cool"/suave compared to book!Laurie (who tbh is more than a bit pathetic sometimes). Like I'm genuinely a little "What are you thinking?" when Winona!Jo turns Bale!Laurie down but I am mostly okay with it in all other incarnations. I do also mostly like Amy/Laurie and Jo/Bhaer as much if not more , so yeah I'm not really cut up about it Jo/Laurie not being endgame.

Why don’t you ship it?

For me, it's largely that there is a sense (more pronounced in some adaptions than others) that Laurie wants to be a March Girl™ (gender-neutral) more than he wants to be Jo's life-partner which is not really the idea ship vibe--even if I can't exactly blame him as I too would do almost anything to be a March Girl. Like sure Jo was his first choice by far and I do believe that his eventual relationship with Amy is genuinely based on more than "settling"--but I also feel relatively sure that he might have hypothetically settled for Beth or Meg under other circumstances. And that's just not a solid start for a relationship, if your s.o. could've hypothetically is always low-key considering your sibling as a backup plan if things go south with you too. (I mean you could say that the same is true of Laurie/Amy, but I do think it's less bad b/c Amy has literally been in love with Laurie since she was 12 and because overall their personalities "mesh" a little better than Jo/Laurie).

I also worry a bit about how Laurie's wealth might hypothetically impact the Jo/Laurie relationship. I do think that he would continue to be supportive of her writing and theatrical dreams, but I can also see him overcompensating/supporting her "too much." Unlike Bhaer, I don't think Laurie is capable of offering her constructive criticism that is necessary for her work to improve. He's too much of an inherent simp who thinks Jo March is already the most amazing human to ever exist (again can't totally blame him for that) to even conceive of the possibility that she has genuine strengths and weaknesses. I can also see him throwing his money and influence around a little in order to get her published/earning favorable reviews. Jo is fiercely independent and so achieving her dreams on her own terms/by her own merit is supremely important to her--arguably more important than her achieving them at all. Laurie interfering in her career even positively/with good intentions would inevitably cause a lot of conflict between them and create some self-doubt of Jo as to whether she really "earned"/"deserves" her success at all.

What would have made you like it?

As I mentioned I do sort of like it even as I also dislike it. I guess I would like it more consistently/wish it was endgame if Laurie was just a wee bit less eager/obsessed/convinced they were "meant to be." Also if we had a stronger sense that Jo herself wanted the romance specifically as opposed to just Laurie staying in her life. Another thing that makes me a little wary about Jo/Laurie is the meta-aspect of knowing that Louisa May Alcott was very adamant about not wanting them together. Her publisher pretty much insisted that Jo needed to find love in Part 2 and so she created Professor Bhaer in order to give Jo an alternate love interest

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

A lot, especially since I don't not ship it even if I don't ship it. Their "meet cute" scene at the ball is one of my favorite scenes in the book and arguably one of my favorite "character introduction scenes" in all of literature. I think that the two of them have great chemistry and a really supportive dynamic. They care deeply about each other and have so much fun together. (You see this as well in the sequels. Even though they're both romantically with other people, they are still go-to confidants and partners-in-mischief for each other).

I also think that narratively Jo/Laurie has to "work" on some level in order to justify the direction that story takes. The first time that you encounter the story, the reader/viewer needs to really like them together and assume that them being endgame is inevitable. It gives Jo's decision to reject his proposal more poignancy and agency. She needs to love him deeply and know that he loves her--even if they can't love each other in the same way--in order to fully be able to choose herself and her goals over him. If he's not an otherwise desirable option, her choice not to choose him isn't a real choice. She needs to be conflicted, tempted even, if her decision to prioritize her own dreams and needs over his and her family's is to hold any real weight.

And Alcott (and most of the adaptions) do a fantastic job of making Jo/Laurie seem plausible/desirable so that the rejected proposal emotionally fulfills its narrative purpose for Jo's character development (and a lesser extent Laurie's and Amy's as well).

Carla/Mateo (I ship it albeit very low-key though Carla probably deserves better)

What made you ship it?

Probably their interactions in late S3 most of all (especially the finale). I think there is clearly attraction and chemistry between them. They seem to have similar, slightly dorky and clumsy personalities that seem like they would mesh well. And shallow , I know, but their character models are also attractive and look good together.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Is it bad if I say that I like how easily Rita!Carla was able to make Mateo look like the biggest fool in all Avalor?

I think there is a lot of potential for the two of them to bond. They're both very family-oriented, and I think there's a lot of potential for them to grow closer as being the only (and a little coddled/spoiled) children of very loving but somewhat smothering single parents (Victor and Rafa)--as well as missing their absent other parents (Ash and Mateo's father).

They are also arguably THE characters (well them, Victor, and Olivia) who are most actively interested in learning magic. (Gabe and Elena express some curiosity but specifically in the context of magic being a tool to protect the kingdom as opposed to something they want to learn just for itself). So it's nice to think of magic being another way that they can grow closer/flirt/have fun together.

I also adore the Delgado father and daughter relationship and enjoy thinking about how Carla/Mateo would impact Victor and his relationship with his daughter. Whether he's supportive (most likely) or hesitant (my personal head canon), it has the potential to be really fun/funny and heartwarming.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Carla/Mateo is one of the only Mateo ships that I can tolerate. Sorry not sorry. It's this and like two non-existent rare pairs . And even then, I don't think I am ever doing more than casually enjoying it, since my Mateo indifference is so strong. (I do really like Carla though and have a few more ships with her).

[seb-reads31]

YO BRO!! PLEASE SAY ALL OF YOUR ASTER HCS RIGHT NOW. RIGHT. NOW!!!!!!

I'll give you one of mine :> I imagine he is a bit buffer and is a bit taller than the y/n [ I imagine hes like 5,8-5-9? ] but is still hella scared of them even though they should be more scared of him LOL

LOVE YOU BRO!!! -amer:]

Tw's -

Genre -

Type - head canons/drabble

Comments - I don't have many unless if I'm like, playing/doing something and I get the random thought "aster would like/love/hate this" so I need like, prompts to get the creative juices 😗

Random Thoughts

😰 This man is a little short in my head.

😰 Not like, SUPER short but a couple of inches below the average for guys

😰 I'm in LOVE with the idea that he's buff, I'm downbad for that thought 😍😍

😰 B U T, HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

😰 He's sort of like, petite before the incident, then after he decides to take some self defense classes and he does a bit of weight lifting 👀👀👀

😰 Not enough to like, have a bunch of muscle but enough to see it through his normal sweater, giving him the element of surprise✨

😰 He honestly... Probably hates soup after the incident. If you know you know 😭

😰 H E A R M E O U T A G A I N

😰 Aster opens a flower shop a little while after the incident 👀👀

😰 CAUSE LIKE, PRETTY BOY WITH A PRETTY FLOWER CROWN????

😰 Listen to this

😰 Say the person is completely separate from (y/n) (which is your/name if you didn't already know) and Y/N meets Aster in his shop one day 👀

😰 Adorable friendship for a good while, right? Then (referencing my "aster finds love again" head canons) after a few solid years of being friends, maybe he hires you during that time to like, deliver people's commissioned bouquets, and he like, confesses his love to (y/n) using a bouquet of flowers he made with how he thinks of them cause you're bound to know SOMETHING about what the flowers mean for as long as you spend in his shop 🤧🤧

😰 you should totally like... Draw Aster with a flower crown....

😰 I'm in love with that idea now 😭😭

😰 That, or he becomes a teacher

😰 Don't ask how that idea popped into mind

😰 BUT HEAR ME OUT AGAIN-

😰 There may or may not be a few more of those

😰 S O, again, you are separate from the person from the incident, B U T, you have a small child from a previous relationship or it's a W A Y younger sibling. You pick but I'm just gonna call them "your child"

😰 And I'm thinking he's either a preschool teacher or an elementary teacher but we're gonna go with preschool for my sake 😭

😰 But one day you go to pick up your child during naptime for the bigger kids (cause I said so) and when you talk to the secretary person they just say to go ahead and find your child

😰 Don't @ me I don't know how this works 😭

😰 And when you go to find your child you can see Aster comforting them after they had a bad dream, he sings them a small little song to keep their mind off of the dream (something like Little Bird, Little Bird cause it's interactive or something else idk) and he offers to read a story to them so they can try and fall back asleep, maybe even offers a small snack or something beforehand

😰 Whatever they choose, in the middle of the snack/book/song they end up catching a glimpse of you as you hide in a hallway basically giving Aster the goo goo eyes 🥺🥺

😰 You jump as your child runs very quietly towards you, basically outing you for staring at their teacher (not that I can blame you, I'd stare too 🤧) and you flush a bright red in the dark room.

😰 Aster gets a little shy at the thought someone other than the children heard him sing so he also flushes and starts fidgeting with his hands, asking what you needed in a small voice.

😰 You explain to the best of your ability without stuttering or accidentally saying something embarrassing that you needed to take your child because you wouldn't be back the normal time to pick them up and didn't have anyone else to watch them.

😰 Aster calms himself down as you speak, and says that the child is fine and goes to grab their little bag they bring every day

😰 When Aster comes closer to you, you can't help but admire his face, it was slightly round, his eyes soft and gentle, his slightly chubby cheeks make you want to pinch them, and finally, his plush lips as he spoke, his words going through 1 ear and out the other....

😰 You flinch as you catch yourself thinking about.. KISSING the gorgeous man??! Ohhh boy, you were starting to fall for the man, and you just met him today!!

😰 You finally clue in to what Aster was saying just in time to get enough context clues to give him a small and quick reply before you quickly speed walk out of the preschool...

😰 The rest is for another time 🤭🤭

Notes - D U D E, THIS WAS SO FUN TEODBIDDBISBEIE, THINKING ABOUT ASTER'S OCCUPATION AFTERWARDS WAS LIKE, A LITTLE BIT TOUGH BUT THEY'RE SO SWEET FKDNFJDB I hope you enjoyed Amer 🤧🤧🤧

[elcorhamletlive]

Hi, I recently came across your blog, and I am not sure if you're still interested in this topic at all, but I wanted to ask-- why do you think Will ending up with Mike wouldn't be fit or satisfying ? I am not necessarily a Byl3r shipper myself, but don't you think portraying a gay kid's love as something he gets to over with is kind of a problematic writing in itself?

Hi, anon! Unfortunately for my mental health I will always be interested in this topic, so don't worry at all about asking.

There are two parts to your ask, and I think I will start with the second, because it's the shortest. I don't think portraying a gay kid getting over a crush is problematic. I'm not a fan of the unrequited love plot in general, I think it's overdone and it's not a choice I would have made for Will's storyline, but the more time I spend in fandom, the more I run into gay men who tell me that the way Will's crush on Mike played out in season 4 was a heartbreaking but cathardic reflection of their own experiences. It's a very real type of heartbreak, and I now see the value of featuring it in media, even if I'm still critical of the way the Duffers have chosen to go about it.

With this perspective, I can't imagine how Will getting over his feelings would ever be "problematic writing". In fact, I would think the other option (him dying while pining for Mike, or just pining for him forever) is much worse. Will getting over his feelings for Mike by meeting someone else is a way to show that even though you might feel unlovable and lonely when you're a gay kid surrounded by straight people, longing for something they can't give you, that pain won't last forever, and you will find someone who loves you the way you want to be loved.

Of course, "getting over" is doing a lot of work in this sentence. There are multiple ways the Duffers could write Will moving on from Mike, and many of them are things I'd consider "problematic" (Will being the only cast member to end up alone) and/or unsatisfying (Will smiling at a nameless extra in the last ten minutes of the final episode). But I don't think the idea of "portraying a gay kid's love as something he gets over" is bad in itself. Sometimes you fall for people who don't love you back, and the best option in those cases is to move on, always. Honestly, Will forever pining after his sister's boyfriend would, in my opinion, be a way more problematic trope.

Then there's the matter of B*ler. Which I think is kind of pointless to discuss, because it's not going to happen. But if it did happen, it could be read as one of two scenarios: 1) the shippers were right and the Duffers had planned everything in the show to lead to B*ler from the start and 2) the Duffers had not planned B*ler from the start but changed their mind seeing how insanely popular the idea became after S4 (again: I cannot stress enough how unlikely I think both of these scenarios are). With option 2, I think it's easy to see why it wouldn't fit or be satisfying - changing your plans so late in the game to please the fanbase is silly, unintelligent storytelling. It shows you don't really have a solid vision for these characters and are willing to just go with whatever is the most popular concept at the moment.

Option 1 is the, obviously, the one shippers would argue is the most likely, but it's also the worst one, in my opinion. If the Duffers planned everything in the show to lead to B*ler, I think they did a poor job with their planning. I think expecting the fanbase to dissect things like background props and movie references as replacement for textual character development is bad writing. The idea of a "surprise" romance being written to catch the audience off guard for four seasons is, to me, ridiculous and mean spirited - it reeks of the worst angles of Spoiler Culture, the ones that argue that shocking people is more important than telling a good story.

And I think it does become problematic when the "plot twist" in question is the sexuality of one of the main characters. If Mike is gay/bi, why did this need to be a secret up until the very end? To pander for homophobes who would have stopped watching the show if it was about a romance between two boys? This reasoning kind of sucks, sorry. If Mike was meant to have a coming out narrative, then it should have been handled with respect and care, not hidden in obscure clues most of the audience would never pick up. Making a gay romance into a puzzle, a massively elaborated scheme meant to pull a "gotcha" on most viewers, is, to me, a glib way of handling delicate themes like sexuality and internalized homophobia. So yeah. I don't think it would be satisfying at all.