#honestly it deserves a full fic once i work through some of my wips

[blindmagdalena]

Concept: Reader who had touch starvation before they met Homelander and so they absolutely thrive on his clinginess after not being touched for so long. Homelander would be so whipped.

"Don't go." Homelander pauses, looking down. You're still in bed, covers pulled all the way up to your chin. The corner of his mouth twitches. You look needy. Cute. "Investor meeting in half an hour," he laments. "How long's it take to get to it?" You ask, slipping your hand out to reach for him. He evaluates you for a moment. You can already see his resolve crumbling. "Five minutes." Perks of living where you work. You smile, and nothing more need be said. You lift the blanket, and he eases himself down next to you. You snuggle in against him, bringing the blanket over him. His arms snake around you in turn, pulling you in tight against his chest. It doesn't matter that you've remained snug under the blankets, he's still somehow warmer than you. You think it must be a furnace in him that powers those eyes of his. Anyone else would be smothered by either of you. Not a moment goes by that the two of you aren't pressed against one another, holding hands, entangling your fingers in each others hair. You've craved this level of intimacy your entire life, just as he has. "You're a bad influence," he rumbles through a smile. "You love me," you counter playfully. "I do," he responds, more firmly and sincerely than you anticipated. Homelander winds up very late for his meeting.

[stormblessed95]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "stormblessed95 "?

I'm stormblessed because of this Ultra badass super sad boy right here.... Kaladin Stormblessed has my entire fucking heart for the rest of my life

Art by Ro

95 for vmin 🥰

Some of my favorite fics! In no particular order:

Blame it on my Youth by youreyestheyglow

Paring: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

10 years after the end of The King's Men, Andrew and Neil have decided to foster a kid. They have low expectations for themselves--they're not exactly ideal parenting material--but at the very least, the kid will be safe with them. But neither Andrew nor Neil do temporary very well.

Full disclosure: highly character-driven, minimally plot-driven.

TW: If you suffer from paranoia, this is probably not the fic for you. Specifically, Neil has bunches of paranoia regarding being watched, and also being murdered.

Locked fic, so you need an account. Words: 1,520,605 and a WIP too.... Lmao I know....but it's SO GOOD. I'm just.... It's so damn good y'all. Basically just andriel growing and healing together, being so deeply in love, their adult lives and becoming parents and helping those children heal from their traumas too. Just gorgeously beautiful and I love it.

That Isn't Nothing by Taekookschanbaek

Pairing: Andrew/Neil

Fandom: AFTG

A look into the lives of pro exy players Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. The world says they hate each other, but when Andrew gets transferred to Neil's team, their teammates begin seeing something else between them.

Words: 38,362, don't be thrown by the author name. I KNOW okay. But like damn, the fic is so fucking good. Ive read it multiple times. Its solid story telling with outsider POV and I just eat it up! Protective boyfriends and secret relationships and soft for each other moments. It's so good

The One-Body Problem by metisket

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life. The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

This fic is SO GOOD I keep coming back to it all the time. It's got the juniors dynamics, it's got the most wholesome bonding stuff, it's got Jingyi being himself and so loveable. So wholesome. So cute. 10 outta 10 fic honestly. Words: 28,689

Rotten Work by @shanastoryteller

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

Jin Ling hadn’t thought to keep track of Wei Wuxian. Clearly that had been a mistake.

so good. Just amazing uncle and nephew bonding that gives me literally ALL OF THE FEELS. I read this and then went and read everything else this author has written. Such good storytelling!! And this was just both wholesome and emotional and fun! Amazing fic, truly. Words: 63,907

Stunted, Starving Juvenility by @tomatenmark5

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

At sixteen Wei Wuxian is—through some strange twist of fate, or a nick in the layer between parallel universes, who knows—out of the blue confronted with that one incense burner dream one night.

While his curious mind is left unable to stop poking at this new perspective on Lan Wangji, circumstances in the Cloud Recesses begin to change and Wei Wuxian is suddenly presented with life-altering opportunities.

Maybe Gusu isn’t so bad after all?

(Or alternatively: The fic where I get to give Wei Wuxian the academic scholarship he deserves while simultaneously getting him hitched early on.)

Might just be one of my all time favorite fics/stories. It's still technically a WIP but it's soo good. Don't let that stop you. It's so long too. But that's just even more story to love. I can't say enough good things lol words: 742,856 (I know, don't be intimidated though! Lol)

And Time is But a Paper Moon by Sami

Pairing: Lan Zhan/Wei Ying

Fandom: MDZS

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened."

Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal.

"You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?"

Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now."

***

Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.

My favorite time travel fix it fic. It's genuinely SO GOOD I love it and I love all the sequel stories that come after it!! Words: 139,032

The File by Denimbeans

Pairing: Percy Jackson/Bucky Barnes

Fandom: PJO, Marvel

When Percy stepped out of the elevator, Hazel wanted to weep. His clothing was tattered, hair matted with blood, and he was covered head to toe in golden dust. But he was alive. It took her a few minutes to realize that he was alone.

Before she died, she'd heard reports on the radio about soldiers who came home. Shellshock, they called it, from being in the trenches, the bombs and the bullets and the dead. Hazel had met soldier, once. A man who'd come home to her little town, missing half his leg and most of his mind. The look in his eyes was hauntingly similar to what she saw on her cousin's face.

Percy was different now. Stronger, maybe. He'd made it through Hell, but not without leaving a piece of him behind.

I honestly didn't know if I'd like this one when I started lol but I loved it. The ANGST WAS SO HEAVY AND SO GOOD. tw for annabeth not making it out of tarturus alive in this fic. PJO and Marvel/Shield mash up and honestly I'm just so down for badass Percy fics. Especially when we see him from another POV where he looks so scary but in his head he is the softest most traumatized boy. Percy is everything to me. Lol and I ship percabeth so hard so this was an outlier fic to me 😂 the blurb there is from the first story, I linked the whole series.

The One Where Nico Has 30 Boyfriends by a_million_stars

Pairing: Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

“Seriously? Me and Lester?” Nico looked ready to kill him. “If you keep speaking to me I think I’m going to throw up.”

Or, a new friend from college desperately tries to figure out who Nico's secret boyfriend is. He messes up. A lot. If only Nico didn't have so many weirdly close friends from high school.

Just wholesome adorable cuteness with some outsider POV, which y'all should be able to tell I LOVE by now

Mortals, Meet Demigods by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Pairing: Annabeth/Percy, Nico/Will

Fandom: PJO

Life isn’t easy for any teenager, but when you’re half-god, the word “easy” loses all meaning. Nine different mortals start to understand that.

Just cute wholesome outsider POV into the most precious of characters

Like Everything Glows by Annie_vi

Pairing: Jimin/Jungkook

Fandom: BTS

Jeon Jeongguk watches the sun rise and set on the water every day without wondering what may lie far beneath the surface. One nighttime walk along the beach upheaves his entire life, sending his human morals into a tailspin as he questions what his beliefs really are.

The first fic I read by Annie and still my favorite. I think about this story all the time lol. She is one of the very very few people I will read RPS fics from because her storytelling is just so immaculately beautiful. I love the way she writes. Truly. I need her to get published one day

@skygemspeaks retirement AU thread and every single fic it sparked inspiratiom for.

Seriously they linked TONS of them under their post and I read and obsessed over every single one and then went looking for more. Lmfao

Pairing: Yuuri/Victor

Fandom: Yuuri on Ice

Link to their Tumblr post:

Wrapping it up with @pekgna illustrated coffee shop AU that I'm so obsessed with.

Pairing: Shallan/Adolin/Kaladin

Fandom: Stormlight Archive

OT3 when Shallan and Adolin seduce Kaladin, their barista into becoming their boyfriend lol just perfection and adorable and the art is amazing!

Link to the start of the AU on Tumblr here:

Enjoy if you read them, let me know if you like them!!! And always feel free to give me fic recs as well especially if you want to send them to my side blog where I try to keep most of my conversations about books and fics now. My anon asks are on there. I've reblogged a few over there too. @moonofthesurvivor

[curiouslavellan]

1, 4, 7 (SOULMATE AU???? 👀👀👀👀), 13, 20, 55 and 72 pls! 💜💛❤💙🧡💚💗🧡💚💜

1 was already answered!

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

Whichever character possesses me lmao. Honestly though it really is down to motivation at the time. I try to stay on See Fire somewhat regularly because that's my dedicated long fic, and then hop between shorter ones at will

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

Soulmate AU as requested ❤️ this is from the first scene when the twins are kids and Ariel is a teenager

Bethany’s face is blotchy and wet, and Ariel uses a sleeve to wipe at her cheeks until Bethany pushes it away.  “It’s not fair,” she says. “Why does Carver get a soulmate?”  “He just does,” Ariel replies simply. “Now some poor girl out there has to spend her whole life with his handwriting stuck on her. I wish her luck.”  Bethany laughs a little, which Ariel was hoping for, but it’s so weak and short-lived it barely counts. She falls right back into the same pensive frown once it's dead. “Sister Catharine says the Maker gives people the marks. That He only gives them to good people, who deserve them. ”  She doesn’t raise her chin, but she does look up then, so Ariel can only see her reddened eyes through her lashes. “Do you think it’s ‘cause we’re...” 

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I have playlists for all my characters but I absolutely cannot listen to music with lyrics while writing, so I just put on those hour long youtube "fantasy writing music" compilations

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

I usually work in canon or canon-divergence. I've tried a couple full scale AUs and while they're fun to think about, they're not something I'll actually write

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I have a particular little thing where I list improperly to make things sound more dramatic or funny. I say "A and B and C" instead of "A, B, and C". I'm not gonna stop doing this any time soon but it is funny because I work as a writing tutor at a college and I have to tell students to stop doing this all the time!

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I have a friend who said something like they never used to cry at fiction until they read my taz ghost fic and that was really up there

[writing-in-april]

The Owner’s Office

Franklin x Female Reader (MGG in Beginner’s luck)

Summary: Franklin won’t stop asking the owner of the bowling alley if he can have a discount when the team rents the alley.

A/N: Heyyy heyyy- here’s my first Franklin fic in a while!!! It’s been sitting in my WIPs in a while and I felt the urge to finish it! @sunlight-moonrise is the main person who helped inspire me for this fic- and of course the amazing @spencers-dria. This is my fic for today for my 1000 follower celebration!!! Thanks for all the support you guys!!! Requests are open!

Warnings: 18+, Hate fucking, Panties stuffed in mouth, Oral sex (M receiving), Franklin wants to be called a god, calling reader a fuck toy

Main Masterlist  Word count: 2.1k

Owning the most popular bowling alley in Little Falls was more of an exhausting task then most people would assume. I had to work everyday almost 7 days a week to maintain my small business that I had inherited from my father. Honestly, some days I was so exhausted, the gain seemingly so little that if it wasn’t for wanting to keep the business to continue what my father built I would sell it in a heartbeat.

The alley wasn’t anything all that grand or special from a first glance, it was a stereotypical bowling alley with orange and turquoise walls and bright red seats. What really made this place special was all the memories I and the rest of Little Falls had here.

The space that I used as my office was more of a closet then a full office, it also had to have the mop bucket and any other cleaning supplies shoved in there. The desk that was jammed into the space was a shitty little thing, unbalanced and made of cold grey metal that made me shiver whenever I rested my arms on it to type. One would not call the place charming but it was mine, just as it had been my father’s.

When the business had passed onto me I decided to keep the office the same way my father had it. Despite its shitty appearance that was where I ended up spending most of my time while I worked. I had to spend most of my day going through paperwork for the alley and barely had time to come out of my office unless it was right before closing to help the rest of the staff (Namely Rebecca) to clean up.

Usually the times I had to come out were because of one person. Though, at this point I view him as the source of all the annoyance in my life more so than an actual person.

Franklin.

I could rant all day about my deep seated loathing for the man that everyone in Little Falls called their god. Well, everyone except me. He was the person who strutted around like he owned the place- even though I was the one who paid the bills for the place. Most of my gripe with him was for the fact that he would insist that his whole team could have the bowling alley to themselves while they practiced. For some reason he had some deep seated paranoia that people would spy on his team. This led to many arguments between the two of us, mostly about how he didn’t want to pay rent because his team was the only thing bringing money to my alley or about how I didn’t give them enough time to practice. In return I would just tell him to take his business somewhere else if he really cared so much about the rent or needed more practice time.

As I walked in to work my mood was already sour, I had spilled my morning coffee all over me and was running late because I had to change my clothes. As the owner of the alley it didn’t really matter what time I came in but, I had myself stick to a strict schedule, I wanted to be a good role model for my staff. My mood turned from sour to livid when I saw Franklin sitting in one of the chairs at the last lane that happened to be closest to the door to my office. I groaned internally at the sight, the only reason he’d ever show up without his team was to try and chew me out about his practice schedule.

I did not need this today.

Luckily, there was only one bowler here this early and he happened to be at the farthest lane away from my office, no doubt being warned by the staff to be far away from my office as soon as they saw Franklin walk in. My greeting to him consisted of only an angry pointed finger towards the door trying to usher him in quickly before I exploded in the middle of the alley.

“I deserve an 80% discount.” He said immediately after I shut the door to my office. With the amount of times I rolled my eyes everyday in response to Franklin’s antics it was a wonder that they didn’t get stuck in that position.

“And what’s the reason this time that you think you deserve a discount.”

“My team is the only reason your alley pulls in any money.”

“That’s not true.” I simply stated, crossing my arms and looking away from the face that causes me to feel such boiling anger.

“Can I at least get a better practice schedule?”

“No.”

“Why not?” His indignation against a person in some sort of position of authority above him was astounding, he even added to my disbelief by hitting his hand hard enough on my desk to leave a slight dent. Well, that was never leaving. Though it's not like it was a particularly fancy desk, I was still even more pissed than I had been in the first place.

“I’ve given my reason why plenty of times you just don’t listen.” I was about to shove him out of my pathetic excuse for an office if he continued.

“Why should I have to listen to stupid reasonings?”

“Fuck- could you please just shut up!” Me screaming at him to shut up wasn’t out of place in our normal hostile conversations, something about the pause after my shout this time was brewing a different type of tension.

When we met for a kiss it was fueled with the anger that had been surmounting over a long period of time, since as long as I’d known him. If I wouldn’t have to explain why he was leaving my office shirtless I would’ve ripped open the big-z tires shirt he was wearing out of pure anger. Once we had angrily ripped off all of our clothes he hoisted me up onto my metal desk. I hissed from the sudden contact of the cold metal on my ass which only made Franklin laugh. I glared at him hard in response, but unfortunately he did not wither away from my gaze, so I decided to lightly threaten him with extreme embarrassment,

“I’ll kick you out of here without your clothes on, shut up.”

That successfully shut him up quick, and he actually focused on my own pleasure for a while. He didn’t sink down on his knees to eat me out because of course Franklin wouldn’t kneel for anybody. He instead parted my folds and began to rub my clit slowly, he had to be a tease instead of just obliging someone for once.

When I whined out in annoyance at his slow movements he tsked at me before saying, “I’m trying to get you ready for how big I am.”

It pained me to admit that he was right as I looked at his cock, which was probably the biggest one I’ve ever been with. I still decided to whine again to see what he’d do in response. When my panties were then shoved into my mouth as a makeshift gag I spluttered in surprise. I would have ripped it out of my mouth in anger if it wasn’t the hottest thing. Plus the words that he said next did nothing to help how wet I was between my legs, “Now you’re the one that has to shut up.”

Once I was properly prepped for his standards he immediately moved onto his pleasure, I hoped I at least got an orgasm out of this. But, if I was being honest with myself I was more turned on right now than I had ever been with another guy. He thrust into me all the way to the hilt with no warning, causing me to cry out in surprise. Glad I was ready enough to take him, he’s such an ass.

Though despite that, I wouldn’t deny that he felt amazing inside of me as he fucked me hard and dirty on my office desk.

“Who’s your god now?” His cocky voice made me want to scream, which I did, but it was more out of pleasure rather than annoyance. He then pulled the panties out of my mouth even though if anyone heard how loud I was right now my employees would whisper behind my back about it till the end of time. What he said next didn’t surprise me at all,  “I want to hear you call me a god, doll. You’re just a bratty little fuck doll for your god’s pleasure.”

“I’m not calling you a god. Doesn’t-” My sentence cut off when Franklin moved his hand to rub at my clit, shocks of pleasure going through me as a result. I bit down on my lip to try in vein to compose myself a little before continuing, “Doesn’t matter if you’re fucking me, you’re still not a god.”

“I’m still the person who’s gonna make you have the best orgasm of your life.”

“I-I’d like to see you try.” And try he did. His hips pistoned into mine with brute strength I didn’t think such a lanky man like him could have. We were probably being so loud that you could hear our skin slapping together rhythmically plus the loud moans that wouldn’t stop coming out of my mouth. Even though it was the hardest thing to admit, he was about to make me orgasm so hard it might’ve been the best one of my life.

I fell over the edge with a high pitched cry, Franklin continuing to rub my clit until I was overstimulated and had to push his hand away. I pushed his shoulder slightly to signal that he needed to get off me then explaining, “There’s no way I’m letting you cum inside me, you can cum in my mouth or nothing else.”

He looked annoyed with me for a second, almost if he wanted to ask if he cumming on my face would be a viable alternative. Luckily for the sake of his own orgasm he decided to keep his mouth shut. I then dropped down to my knees, ignoring the sharp little sting of pain as I took him in my mouth. It only took a little bit of time of me bobbing me head up and down, making sure to hollow my cheeks as best as I could. At one point he tried to wind his hands into my hair as a way to non verbally ask if he could fuck my face. If it had been anyone but Franklin I probably would’ve allowed them too, but instead I hit his hand away, looking up between my lashes with a glare to silently tell him to be grateful he was getting to finish at all. Hot thick ropes of his cum then suddenly shot down my throat with little warning from him, causing me to gag slightly, I’m sure he probably enjoyed that. I wasn’t one to not swallow personally, even if I did hate his guts it was still hot to swallow his cum down my throat. Once I had sufficiently caught my breath I started to clean myself up and get my clothes on, not expecting any aftercare from the bowling alley’s resident asshole.

“So-  Do I get that discount?” I whipped around as I rebuttoned up my shirt about to start our argument all over again until I saw a smirk on his face unlike the ones I had seen before. It wasn’t his usual cocky smirk, instead it was a teasing one, he was actually joking with me for once instead of screaming at me. I breathed out a little laugh in response and let the tension melt from my shoulders a little.

It was a relief to not fight with him for once and I kinda liked this Franklin. He still had an aura of smugness around him, but he wasn’t insufferable. He was maybe even a little likeable when he wasn’t screaming his head off at me. In response to his joke I rebutted with a little smirk, “You may not be an actual god but you sure fuck like one. And, no, of course you don’t get the discount.”

Tag list (Message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin

Franklin/Beginner’s luck:

[rosella-writes]

writing tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @noire-pandora, @kittynomsdeplume, @melisusthewee and @emerald-amidst-gold <3

Whoooo boy, here we go.

How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but quite a few are just one-shots. I only have a couple long-fics, mostly because my poor ADHD brain is cruel to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

190,052, but if I hadn't orphaned my old (and embarrassing) Skyrim and Sherlock fanfics it'd probably be closer to 300,000.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

honey just put your sweet lips on my lips - 579

i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted - 56

a fuller feeling (a brighter burst) - 54

Eunoia - 40

i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you (fuel the pyre of your enemies) - 39

(And to be perfectly honest, my most popular fic is by far my worst. I spend so much more time carefully crafting for Eunoia than I do anything else, but the little following it's picked up has made it worth more to me than all the kudos and comments on "honey.")

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I used to be terrible about it, mostly because the vast majority of comments I once got was hate (I wrote for a weirdly unpopular wlw pairing). Now I make it a point to respond to every single one when I can, even the short ones, to thank them for taking the time. It means so much.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It was a drabble for the r/dragonage writing thread, actually! The premise was a font in the Black Emporium that would show your OC the outcome of a decision made differently. I wrote Eliana Lavellan from Eunoia discovering what would have happened if she'd fought with Solas in Crestwood until he told her the truth... and its outcome was worse than the timeline where he left her and kept his secret. You can read it here (it's about 1200 words, nice and short).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My various Solavellan pairings don't get happy endings. Evelyn Lavellan was more of a narrative tool to explore Solas with, so her ending was cut short. Eliana doesn't have her ending yet, but it will be bitter and painful. My happiest ending was for my Bella/Rosalie pairing for Twilight - Bella became a vampire and lived happily ever after with her wife.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, unfortunately! Since my days on tumblr and FFNet, S*perWh*L*ck left a terrible taste in my mouth when it came to crossovers. I'd be open to it one day if I can find fandoms chill enough.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

As I previously mentioned, yes. In my Bella/Rosalie fic, I made it a point for Rosalie to love all the parts of Bella that weren't conventionally beautiful. My Bella is also a dark-skinned black woman, and the intersection of racism, colorism, and misogyny where it concerns attractiveness was something I thought worth including because I didn't see enough of it in fic. I wanted to highlight all the things that don't get enough attention or are actively reviled, like hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, natural hair, soft bellies, areolas and vulvas that aren't perfectly symmetrical or small, pubic hair and armpit hair and little hairs around nipples - things that I love about AFAB people! I got a lot of comments on my smut chapters calling Bella disgusting, or me nasty for choosing to include those traits. I deleted every single one.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So much. I love exploring pairings or power dynamics that people wouldn't necessarily consider, like a strong female warrior Lavellan domming Solas, or Solas topping Blackwall. I wanted to show a black woman in an interracial relationship with a white woman where she got to be soft and loved gently, where she got to be quiet, bookish, and looked after instead of expected to be the loud, strong stereotype that we pin black women into. I wanted to show the power of masculinity in an elven mage who loves a warrior woman (Solas/Cass), or the nurturing side of domming in a relationship between a pan giant and a bisexual elf (Iron Bull/Solas).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, tbh. I turn up to fandoms a decade late, so usually by the time I get any traction the fic-stealers have done their dirty work and leave me alone.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't! I hope to one day write a fic in Greek for my best friend, though. They deserve to read about Solas in their mother-tongue.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but have done some plotting with aforesaid Greek friend.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, absolutely. Any variation, honestly - I've loved m!Solavellan, f!Solavellan, as well as any variation including nonbinary, trans, or other interpretation of the relationship. Solas sees and loves the spirit, and I love the idea that its vessel doesn't matter so much to him. I headcanon him as a he/him agender bisexual, for what it's worth.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've technically marked i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted as complete, but it cuts off right before Adamant and was intended to be a full Solavellan story. However, I just didn't care for my rogue f!Lavellan OC very much, and didn't think she matched Solas well. I developed an OC that I enjoyed writing much better and rolled with it. So, I'm sorry Evelyn Lavellan, but your story is frozen with the two of you happy in bed. Solas will never break up with her so long as I don't write that part, right?

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue and crafting character voices! Getting a comment that I've managed to portray a favorite character so well that they can hear their voice in their head as they read? Priceless.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition vs description. I want to show instead of tell, but developing the right environment for a scene can be tough for me. It's so much easier to write that the characters are cold and the ground is wet than to wax poetic about dripping leaves and frosty air. But I'm working on it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm obsessed with it. I love little bits sprinkled through that make sense with context, and culturally speaking it would feel wrong not to sometimes! I'm also the type of person that's always been obsessed with languages, and instead of becoming fluent in one I've learned a smattering of a whole lot. So any opportunity to sneak in some French, Welsh, German when it makes sense? I'm taking it. And don't even get me started on Elvhen or Qunlat because I will sprinkle that shit like biodegradable glitter.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Okay I'm gonna flout this question and just write my fandoms in order:

Sherlock (circa 2010 - 2014)

Skyrim (2016)

Twilight (obsessed from 2005 - 2010 but didn't write for it until 2019 or 2020 when Midnight Sun released)

Dragon Age (March 2021 and easily the most fanfic I've ever written ever)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite one to write was probably i'd wanna be felled by you, but my favorite to reread is Eunoia. It's most likely the most honest, least presumptuous thing I've ever written, and it's easily the longest thing I've ever attempted. I'm very proud of it.

As far as tagging goes, I've been very rude lately with it by tagging people late in the day, or tagging folks that I haven't tagged before, and am still refiguring out tumblr etiquette (since I haven't been here since the days of the skeleton war and the Mishapocalypse lmao), so presume if you see this you're tagged to participate. With no expectations nor pressure, though, I'll tag @dreadfutures, @varric-tethras-editor and @blarfkey if they'd like. <3

[vaguely-concerned]

Any tips for a TF POV fic? I want to write one because I too went through a time in my life when I let feelings bounce off cuz that was easier, but I feel like that's not quite on point for him 🤔

God I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this and they’re all so wordless and frustratingly evasive to me yet (I am in the process of writing a looooooong T.F. POV fic and it gives me much more trouble than Graves POV, probably because as a person I’m quite a lot more like the T.F. Type in real life lol). But yes, here we go, let me try to express some of what I personally try to have as my hm ‘anchor points’ for his perspective. (Heavy disclaimer that these are just my personal & disorganized little musings and by no means the only or ‘correct’ way to read the character!)

- First of all I agree, the image of ‘bouncing off’ doesn’t feel quiteright -- it’s in the right neighbourhood but the wrong address sort of thing, but it’s really hard to come up with a way to explain how I feel the nuance here.

*insert three hours later spongebob meme here* Okay, so the metaphor I came up with is: T.F.’s relationship to emotions is a direct parallel to his relationship to water/the ocean: it’s scary down there, it’s dark, it’s dangerous, and if he should ever be dumb enough to try to go in too deep it’ll kill him dead because boy oh boy on so many levels this man just did not learn how to swim. As far as he’s concerned any sensible person would simply bob along on the surface in a sturdily built boat and try not to think too much about the weird shit that lives down there in the depths. (In this metaphor the layer of artifice and performance so habitual it’s basically integrated into the fabric of his soul is the boat. Y’know, the part that’s Twisted Fate and not just plain ol’ Tobias. I’ll hasten to add that I think both parts of his identity are equally ‘real’ and equally him, but the Twisted Fate part is like… protecting the Tobias part. Keeping him from drowning, as it were. I’m not sure he’d think of it like that himself for the longest time, though, I suspect he has more of a ‘that man is dead’ attitude towards the Tobias part after Graves is gone)

I think what I’m trying to get at is the idea that to him, raw emotion is as hostile and unknowable and unnavigable an ‘environment’ as the deep ocean. (And the only time we see him willingly go there, physically and otherwise, is for Graves, so you know let’s jot that down first of all lol.)

- He seems to genuinely quite like and be interested in people – how they think, what moves and motivates them, their secrets and foibles. So I tend to try to keep the uh ‘detail work’ in his POV focused in that direction. Priority going like 1) people 2) people’s valuables 3) the relative availability of people’s valuables at this moment if you have clever hands and a very charming smile haha

- One of my favourite things about T.F. is that he seems, I don’t know… quite genuinely good-natured beneath it all? If you back him into a corner some sharp and dangerous things peek out (he has survived in his line of heh ‘business’ for like thirty years, and a lot of it on his own), but for the most part and when unthreatened he has a sort of mildly amused and intrigued live-and-let-live attitude to the world even as he’s conning it that I find deeply charming. Which to me ties in with:

- T.F.’s first instinctive reaction to danger (perceived or real) the majority of the time seems to be ‘Flight’. Confrontation and violence are basically his ‘when literally everything else has failed’ options. (As seen prominently in Burning Tides, where he just keeps running and running and the only time he actually starts throwing punches is when he has to because Graves is in immediate danger and they’re backed into a corner. Which feels like it means something huh lol, I often think about what could actually make T.F. angry enough that he would openly express it and that seems to be the most likely angle for it in my eyes.)

- My take on one of the fundamental differences between Graves and T.F. is that Graves has A LOT of feelings but doesn’t quite know it (or more like can’t quite conceptualize it I should say) – he has a hard time identifying or finding vocabulary for feelings that aren’t some shade of anger. Meanwhile T.F. KNOWS he has feelings, he just doesn’t like it, ardently wishes he didn’t, and will do pretty much anything to run away and not have to engage with them haha.

Another important difference: when brought out of equilibrium Graves gets angry, and T.F. gets scared. I have the feeling that beneath it all he’s scared a lot, and it’s why his persona is so oriented towards gaining control in ways where people don’t realize it enough to even think try to take that control away from him until he’s already long gone. Misdirection as a way of life babEY

- This might be too deep in the ‘my WIP/process specific’ territory to really count as general analysis, but I think it’s there in canon too – there’s almost a feeling that he implicitly feels like he has to make up for some fundamental flaw or lack he has at the core? (Not a weird thing for him to end up feeling, considering what happened to him as a kid.) All the rest of him, all the cleverness and style and charm, is there to ‘make up’ for how at the end of the day he’s… wrong somehow. As Graves, who knows him better than anyone, focuses right in on, a coward. And that is CERTAINLY not the whole truth and even Graves in a full rage relents when he sees the effect the accusation has on him and once he gets the actual facts of what happened. But I think that sense of deep unworthiness is what’s stuck with him emotionally. His people left him because there’s something fundamentally lacking and immoral about him. He lost Graves because he’s not good enough, because he’s a coward who leaves people behind. He deserves to be alone. Mix in a ton of survivor’s guilt to taste, and I think you have the like… core emotional wound he’s constructed around.

There’s also something here about fear of profound powerlessness specifically in situations where words, generally his strongest card that’s not a literal card (har har har oh we do have fun here), simply don’t work right at the moment when he needs them to the most – he tried to beg for his people not to leave him behind, he tried to convince Graves to get the hell out with the rest of the crew… and it didn’t work. (In Burning Tides you see he’s given up even trying to explain himself, he just wants Out in whatever way leaves both him and Graves tolerably in one piece, even if he won’t be understood or heard or less alone afterwards. It takes him until like half way through the entire chase to even THINK about just telling Graves the truth. In all fairness to T.F. it probably wouldn’t have worked at that moment, but it does vaguely crack me up that he didn’t even consider it until all of Bilgewater harbor was already burning merrily behind them fhsajkfa)

- He has a little bit of a (perfectly justified considering his background honestly) chip on his shoulder, especially when it comes to powerful or arrogant people. There seems to be a special satisfaction in outsmarting and robbing specifically rich assholes (which would also be the people who have the most to steal, so y’know good times all round). From his short stories and few places in his bio you almost get the feeling that he has a funny sort of Robin Hood-esque sense of lopsided justice about it. (Robin Hood-esque only so far as to define ‘the poor’ as the eternally hard-strapped ‘T.F. & Graves Waistcoats and Cigars Fund’, of course lol)

I think T.F. both has a mind that tends more towards analyzing the big picture and also has more direct experience with like… structural/systemic powerlessness and oppression. So the cons they pull are probably partly how he channels the emotions that arise out of that (and the rest he just represses, like the relatable guy he is haha)

- Graves being back would cause some IMMENSE internal conflict in him, I feel – of course all the feelings of relief and attachment and love, but also… so much of who he is now came about specifically to find a way to deal with Graves being gone, with seemingly just shutting down the entirety of his need for real human companionship or closeness for like a decade, things that are suddenly starting to be brought online again and must be tremendously stressful to deal with when you’ve had it completely suppressed and deadened for so long. He’s put so much into trying to be fundamentally unattached to anything, anywhere, anyone (and there are some things here about perpetually being an outsider his whole life that I can’t quite put into words, but that’s a dimension too.) That sort of psychological self defense mechanism doesn’t just contentedly nod its head and go away just because something good happened one time haha. Probably a work in progress there huh (at least he’s not alone in it now <3)

PLUS some bonus Graves POV observations because man. I love writing him, he’s just a marvel of a man

- I know I call him a dumbass all the time, but in a street smart way I think he’s actually quite clever haha, he just has a bad tendency to get hung up on an idea and get tunnel sight. (I’ve based this a lot on the short stories but see also more recently his Sentinel skin voice lines for good examples: he’s incredibly straightforward in that ‘well obviously if it doesn’t affect me personally I ain’t gonna give it that much thought’ way, but you also have glimpses of surprising insight/shrewdness and… I don’t quite know how to put it, but something like an ability to get to the bottom line of something without getting caught up in the details. (I suspect T.F. does find himself lost in the details quite frequently, he’s much more attached to the decorative curlicues of the world.) Graves clearly & frequently has no idea what’s going on, but he strips things down to the essentials very quick: Lucian’s story as a direct thematic mirror to Viego’s, Is There A Sun Lady – Oh, I See, all of this is weird and creepy and needs shooting, and maybe most crucial of all: Isolde doesn’t want to be with her husband anymore so what he’s doing is just like. Extra shitty. He gets what he needs to get and then just barges ahead heedlessly with that. Icon.)

- He’s actually pretty darn eloquent in a gruff sort of way and uses some quite sophisticated vocabulary! And the way this is contrasted with the tendency to slip into blunter coarser language just as readily -- like when he takes the time to describe the monster that takes down the Prince’s ship in such poetic terms as ‘gargantuan’ and ‘the behemoth’s immense, distended jaw’ and it having ‘pallid dead eyes the size of the moon’, and meanwhile during his swim at the beginning of the story we get bastard cold and bastard dark and full of bastard jellyfish and crabs – brings me such immense and unending delight

- He’s more eloquent in his internal voice than he is when speaking (especially noticeable in Destiny and Fate; he does have a tendency to fumble his words when talking lol), and he gets quite easily lost in his own meandering reflective musings in a way I find incredibly endearing. I’d almost call it whimsical at times, honestly, hilarious as that is? Like when he’s literally so absorbed in a line of thought he forgets which way they’re rowing and T.F. has to remind him. (I think T.F. generally has more of a grip of what’s going on around them than Graves does lol)

- There’s an important distinction to be made that Graves actually does, by and large, read T.F: very closely and seemingly also pretty damn accurately. He’s good at (and clearly very interested in) reading his moods, spotting what tactics he’s using interpersonally, when he’s being genuine and when he’s being dissembling.

What Graves is actually bad at is understanding his own emotions, and to not bleed those emotions into other people’s motivations and behavior, especially when he’s upset or in heightened states of feeling, like he is all the way through Burning Tides. He can only name his own feelings in a vocabulary of anger, when it’s pretty clear from the subtext that there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on there, and he has incredible trouble divorcing those feelings from what other people’s got going on with them right then. He feels hurt, betrayed, and undone by everything that’s happened to him, so the intention to hurt, betray and undo must live in the other person who he feels caused it. In less drastic cases you see him do this a bit when he feels like T.F. is being evasive with him – taking it as a form of rejection rather than realizing T.F. is just lost in his own thoughts, sort of thing. There’s a real improvement in this one between Burning Tides and Destiny and Fate, though, so maybe he’ll have an easier time of it with some time and practice.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you on this and that it’s a bit of a rambling mess, words have been real hard recently. Or rather I have too many words, all the time, left and right, I just can’t put them into the right orders to make any sense hahaha, I hope there’s some useful point in this somewhere for you at least!

[dotsayers]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

[infinitestarsintheskye]

Writer Meme

I was tagged by the ever lovely @besidemethewholedamntime Thanks Rebecca! :)

What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

FitzSimmons, easily. I just love them so much and writing them is just easily one of my favourite things to do. 

How many works do you have on AO3? 

47, which bugs me because I really hate odd numbers. Need to actually write something and even it out lol.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 

369,771, most of which was written in the last 14-ish months. 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

1. When I Kissed the Teacher (Steggy)

2. The Lady and the Chauffeur (FitzSimmons)

3. I’ll Always Be With You (Steggy)

4. Four (FitzSimmons) 

5. Our Love Lasts So Long (FitzSimmons) 

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

 I always reply to comments! I treasure comments truly so much and I just like to show my appreciation to whoever took the time to write something about my work! I am usually good at replying fairly quickly but also I am terrible at leaving them for ages and responding to about 10 all in one go, partly because I love the ego boost of having a full inbox lol

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 

Other People easily. But that wasn’t my fault, blame Sally Rooney. Plus I wrote a cute epilogue so it kind of cancels out. I cannot end with angst. I just cannot do it. I go with the Jane Austen motto that “My characters, after a little bit of trouble, will get everything they desire.” 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 

My The Lady and The Chauffeur verse by FAR. Absolutely not a flying chance in hell was I going to make that the same as the Downton Abbey canon. It’s been near enough a decade and I still cannot watch THAT episode. I watched it once, it broke me, I will not do it again. In giving FitzSimmons the most incandescent of happy endings, I vicariously gave Sibyl and Branson the ending that they deserved to have to, in my opinion. 

Do you write crossovers? 

Nope! Crossovers have never really been my thing, not even to read! I just cannot get into them for some reason. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Only once and it shook me to my very core. I responded rather diplomatically, in my opinion, as the commenter was taking issue with an enemies to lovers plot I had going on with FS and honestly responding made me feel more confident in my premise. I am, just because of that one stupid comment, really self conscious about that fic to this day, which is sad because it is based in something I love so much. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

I do! But I’m never very confident in it, for a myriad of reasons. I kind of chucked myself into the deep end with Other People and tried to push my boundaries out a little bit, which I think is always good as a writer. It was never anything deeply graphic but enough to warrant an E rating haha. I did write a couple of E rated fics after that, but again it was all fairly on the tamer end of an E rating in my opinion, and currently I don’t have any plans to write any more smut in the future. I only every tried to put it in if I felt it added something to the story. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I’m aware of. I would hope that someone would tell me if they read something that they knew was mine. 

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope! 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, although Rebecca (@besidemethewholedamntime) did help me leaps and bounds with The Same Bewildering Dream, but I have never properly collaborated in the actual proper writing of a fic with someone before! I think it would be really fun though! hmu if you wanna collab lol. 

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 

Sighs. I have been trying, for about a year now, to write a FS Pride and Prejudice AU and I just cannot seem to make it work. I really want to follow the same structure that P&P does and I just cannot seem to get these characters to fit into that world. It would be easy to just modernise it but I really REALLY want to do it regency style and it just isn’t working and it’s so frustrating because I have so many good ideas for it. 

What are your writing strengths?

I truly have no idea. If I had to say anything I think I’m good at writing emotions, trying to get across things that maybe aren’t specifically verbal, like anxiety and worry but also love (requited or no) and just internal things like that. That’s at least what I enjoy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Speech and transitioning between scenes, and just like the little bits between dialogue. I will often go just big chunks of dialogue without adding anything inbetween because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Absolutely go for it if you can! As some who is painfully monolingual I would not even try to attempt that myself unless I had someone who I could ask to translate something for me. I could maybe do phrases here and there but nothing bigger than that.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh god I don’t even remember. It was so long ago, on a long abandoned ff.net account that I made when I was like 12 or 13. If I had to say it was either, Harry Potter or Hunger Games. All terrible. All should probably never be read ever again.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh god. I have favourites but all for different reasons. I loved writing Our Love Lasts So Long because I just had such a clear image of it in my head and just knew where I was going with it the whole way through. I also really love The Lady and the Chauffeur because it was the fic that really just got me back into writing fic properly, it was my first ever long form-ish fic and I just beyond loved writing it and the reaction to it was just so warm and welcoming and it was just everything good and wonderful. Other People is also SO dear to me because it just got me through a really disgusting time in my life. My Grandad was very unwell with covid and sadly died as I was halfway through writing that fic and it was just my place to escape, it allowed me such a great amount of catharsis, I was just able to channel all of my feelings into that fic and I’m so grateful for that. It honestly kept me sane and level during that really god awful time and it just means the world because of that. I also just beyond love the story. Ever since I watched Normal People, I was just kind of waiting for someone to write a FS au of it because it just fit them so perfectly in my mind. Eventually I got bored of waiting and pulled a Thanos and just went “Fine I’ll do it myself.”. The reaction to that fic also just sent me to the beyond and I’m just so beyond grateful for all the love it received.

I willing tag (if they want to of course!): @nazezdha321 @kitthekazoo and @agentofship

[peachcitt]

fanfic year in review - 2020

hey laddies i was tagged by both @miabrown007 and @strangerahne to do this, so without further ado here we go!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished: 

Bone Tea (march) // All These Selfish Feelings (march) // Doomed from the Start (may) // Wouldn’t it be Nice (may) // my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room (may) // screw the classics, and screw you for believing in them (june) // Friendship Bracelets (june) // Those Benevolent Stars (june) // the dark and the stained glass watchers (july) // Bloodsucker (july) // Messy Advances (july) // Happy Endings, the Sun, and Other Steps to Madness (july) // Guessing Game (august) // Passion Fruit Sunset [zine piece, currently unavailable] (september) // Home Coming [zine piece, currently unavailable] (november) // here (november) // bread and oranges (november) // clarity (november) // burgundy, near black (december) // About Emma Martin (december) // cherries (december) // falling, flying (december) // aloe-infused fuzzy socks (december)

23 fics??? okay well looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

2) Number of words written:

219,184 words (which includes my unfinished fics on ao3 and the wips i haven’t posted)

again looking at it like this just makes me feel ridiculous

3) Your most popular fic:

friendship bracelets - the first in the series of my homoerotic college au zukka fics. honestly? i can’t even say im surprised

4) Your personal fav:

MAN this is hard. okay it’s gotta be a four-way tie between bone tea, those benevolent stars, home coming, and screw the classics and screw you for believing in them but really i could be lying because i wrote so much this year (i guess now last year?) that i was really really proud of 

5) Your fav scene:

okay i have a lot of favorites but for right now i’ll say: the scene in chapter 3 of those benevolent stars when adrien and marinette are sitting on the banks of the seine and they talk about their favorite colors and adrien’s soulmate - it’s such a quiet and gentle moment, and because you know that their favorite colors are based off each other’s eyes but only marinette knows that and because you know adrien is talking about his soulmate to his soulmate and she knows it but he doesn’t. it’s full of such beautiful, tragic dramatic irony that i just love so so much

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

hm okay the last few chapters of bone tea were definitely challenging not only because of, like, the big fight scenes (which, im not really comfortable writing fight scenes) but also because i had take all of the mess of emotions in bt and wrap it all up into a conclusion that needed to be satisfying. the same could be said about happy endings, the sun, and other steps to madness (minus the fight scene part)

writing impure - my changeling jim au fic - has also been a fun challenge because i basically watch trollhunters episodes as i write, examining each line of dialogue and each character interaction and seeing how that scene or relationship would be changed by the fact that jim is a changeling. it was also a little challenging to keep everything fresh and new - especially at the times when the dialogue from the show stayed the same in the fic, but so far, im really really happy with the way the fic is going

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

off the top of my head are these two lines, both from screw the classics:

It was the ‘Daisy, Daisy, Daisy’s, over and over. Like her name conveyed some sort of deeper meaning that she expected Daisy to be able to understand. Like if she repeated it enough, it would become a sort of prayer that God would listen to, that He would enact to make Daisy put her fists away for once in her pitiful life. It was just “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy” over and over until her name stopped sounding like a name, like a word, and it was just a sound to fill the silence so that neither of them would have to talk about the way Basira’s touch lingered each time she wiped blood away or the way Daisy would always sit so that her knees touched Basira’s even though they were on the floor and there was more than enough room for them to breathe different air.

and

But sometimes Jon was easier than Basira. He didn’t have any of Basira’s softness - he was all edges and sharp lines. His elbows were basically knives, and his hips were edged with broken glass.

the first paragraph i really love because there’s almost a rhythm to it - like poetry - and i love the sound of it and all that it means in the context of the fic. 

the second little bit i just love because every so often i think about it and i love the imagery and metaphor and the way it fits jon - in canon and in this fic. in this fic, they’re all in high school so jon is gangly and skinny and bony and in general, he’s just abrasive and a little rude. this description of him i just love (and the way i described him from martin’s pov in doomed from the start; “Jonathan Sims looked, even from a distance, as if he was perpetually smelling something awful. His features, just left of handsome, were marred by furrowed eyebrows and a distasteful frown.”)

8) A comment that touched you:

LITERALLY SO MANY????? the comments on the final chapter of bone tea, telling me that the story was something that they loved and found comfort in, the long comments on any of my fics detailing their exact favorite parts, the comments that were just short jokes that made me laugh out loud - literally i can’t pinpoint one. im just so thankful to have written things that people respond to with such kindness and love

9) Something that inspired your writing:

music!!!!!! i found myself making playlists for a few of my fics this year or listening to specific old playlists of mine for the right mood for a fic, and it’s really inspired me to write

also, as always, my own personal experiences. i thought and felt a lot this year, and i think in every single one of the fics i posted this year, you can probably find a central thought or feeling driving it that no doubt comes from my personal life

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

finishing bone tea and tying the title to the fic!!!!!!!! finishing happy endings and also tying that title to the fic!!!!!! getting accepted into two different zines and working with two different amazing artists and completing those fics!!!!!!!! literally writing anything at all!!!!!!!!!

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

i think mainly i just want to write, you know? i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself, because this past year i put so much pressure on myself that i was constantly feeling like i was underperforming (which was, like, super untrue, but you know how it goes) so when i wasn’t writing i felt like i was wasting time. i mean, don’t get me wrong, i had so much fun writing and creating all of these things that im so so proud of, it’s just the space in between writing sessions that i want to let myself breathe in. i don’t want to dread thinking about writing for fun anymore because that’s not fun

besides that, i think my other goals are to just continue forward with my unfinished projects - impure, the new wave, the bone tea extras - and to officially start the other two long fic ideas i have for mlb that ive been really excited about for a long while. this past year i wrote a lot of one shots (like. so many. oh my god) so maybe this year i might focus on long projects. who knows though definitely not me it’ll be a surprise for all of us

=

anyway that’s all!! thanks mia and strangerahne for tagging me!! ive been needing a lot of reminders lately that i have, in fact, written this year, and having to, like, do math and scroll through my ao3 page and all my google docs has been really enlightening so thanks so much for this

i tag: @lnc2, @chatnoirinette, @deinde-prandium, and @rosekasa! y’all don’t have to do this, but i’d love to see how y’all felt about your works this year and also to see y’all love yourselves very much because you deserve it. also literally anyone can do this you can just say i tagged you i don’t mind it’ll be our secret - i highly encourage it because it’s very sweet and very fun to look back on all you’ve accomplished this year

<3<3<3<3

[mavspeed]

got tagged by @hellfre and im sorta bored so 

20 questions, writer’s edition!

How many works do you have on AO3? 31... whoa

What’s your total AO3 word count? 527217 which is strange all my fics r so hideously long i thought i would have hit one mil by now

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? X-Men, IT 2 but there’s only one fic for that lol, kingsman and netflix bodyguard, and one fic for WW 2017 which... depressingly remains the fic with the highest number of fics in my profile

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

the labour of our love (again, its depressing that this is still getting hits. please stop reading this. please)

and we can be pirates

east end lights (please stop reading this one too Please)

in the valley of kings

lover boy rules (DEFINITELY STOP READING THIS) 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? for multichapter fics yes cos i love catching readers up on whats happening or whats about to come next but for oneshots not really, i love love love comments but sometime i never have the energy to reply lmfjgjgjk

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? oh god it is definitely tequila on a beach, this one was fucked Up and i was in a shitty place mental wise when i wrote it. i think i’ve written quite a few major character death fics already but none are as depressing and tragic as that one in particular, i really pulled all the stops out for that one lmfjgjkjgk

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? my oneshots have pretty happy endings i think... both if we’re talking about happiest it Has to be my old man is a bad man. nothing happier than killing your abusive husband and getting your sexy detective boy on the side helping you to get away with it

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? was gonna say one but i’ve written TWO !! kingsman/bodyguard was a crossover ship i thought up way before rocketman released with two of my besties and while i dont write for it anymore i sure hope people Are still writing for it (also i take full credit for publishing the first story in the eggvid tag and getting the ball rolling. thank me.) and xmen/lucifer. my second part in the charlifer series is still in the works maybe ill be able to finish it at some point

Have you ever received hate on a fic? on ao3 no, but when i was a kid i used to write on ff.net and while i got a shitton of comments (im talking like in the Hundreds) more than 50% of them were not good. i think i deserved it cos my writing was shitty but also ff.net is a dark, dark place

Do you write smut? If so what kind? sometimes if it fits into the storyline of the fic i guess? i actually absolutely detest writing smut i wrote smut for the mummy au not bc i like writing it but bc i felt bad for putting charles through so much shit in that fic i was like he deserves to get good dick for once. and then i promptly ruined it in the next few chapters so

Have you ever had a fic stolen? YEA LMGFHFJ it was my apoc charles au where charles is one of the horsemen, there was a fic that was VERY similar, like IDENTICAL, and the similarities were just too much for it to be coincidental. i never did call them out on it tho bc their fic was good too. probably bc it was stolen FROM ME 

Have you ever had a fic translated? nope :(

Have you ever co-written a fic before? also no. i think i’d be annoying as someone to co-write with lol the one time i discussed an au with syd i ended up killing charles off halfway even if it was happy and he almost killed Me

What’s your all time favorite ship? cherik my beloveds

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? its the castlevania au and not because i don’t have ideas for it but because every single time i start to think about how i’d continue it i always end up with killing charles off. its like no matter what i want, charles always dies in the end in that fic, but i dont Want him to die so uh. its never getting finished unless someone can give me an idea on how to make the gay boy live

What are your writing strengths? i honestly have no idea. making shit depressing i suppose

What are your writing weaknesses? coming up w a good plot is a massive weakness for me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? honestly it can get lost in translation and the few times i’ve ever used german in a fic i always get told in comments that thats not actually the way it works so. but hey if ur a native speaker then go for it

What was the first fandom you wrote for? harry potter.... it was a dark time

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? i am so proud of my cherik man from uncle au not just bc i think the cherik dynamic i wrote is fantastic in there (humble i know) but also because i loved writing raven in it. i think its like the Only fic where i didn’t just focus on cherik and it actually led me to realise i love writing sapphics- also it gave me an opportunity to fix charles-raven in my own little way and turn them from siblings to best friends and partners in crime which was really fun. anyway i love that fic and i love my gay little spies

tagging: leaving this open but if u wanna do it, feel free to say u were tagged by me !!

[stupidfatpenguin]

Hey! So it’s once again Friday, so that means another week of working from home in-between reading fics and trying to be productive has passed! Yeah.

So, here’s Salty’s Fic Rec Friday 2nd edition. (This is really all Bagginshield because that’s really all I read nowadays.)

As I didn’t have too much time to read this week to finish many long fics, some of these recs are WIPs, but I’ll make a note of which ones are completed!

Notices in the Paper - YamBits (WIP!) Word count: 7k Rating: T Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins

This is one of the fics I’m currently subscribed to, and so should you be imo! The premisse here is Bilbo returning to the Shire with Thorin (whom he has just married) only to find himself homeless… which is a bit of a hassle which he now has to solve with his husband. Except, there is also his newly orphaned nephew to think about.

This is a cute and fresh take on the returning to the shire premisse, with lots of hobbits on screen (so to speak), and while the problems are daunting, the only dragons that need slaying are the Sackville-Bagginses who have made Bag End their hoard of gold, and you need a healthy dose of Shire manners and knowledge to get by the bureaucracies of hobbits… (makes the problems in Erebor seem like a piece of cake, surely.)

Master Burglar - by MordorIsCalling Word count: 8.5k Rating: T Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins COMPLETED

If you’re in need of a nice, amusing Everybody-lives-nobody-dies post-BOFA fic full of gossiping dwarves who are all ready to show some admiration for Bilbo Baggins, Master Burglar Extraordinaire, this is honestly everything you want.

Thorin is abed, but alive, and Bilbo somehow ends up having a bit of a celebrity status among the dwarves… Oh, and there are lots of feelings involved. It’s all very amusing.

The Song of My Heart - by DomesticGoddess (WIP!) Word count: 16k Rating: M Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins

There are quite a few dwarves in the Shire fics out there, but this take was new to me! The dwarves of Erebor wants to settle in the Shire, but in order to be allowed to do that Thorin needs to convince a council of hobbits… more specifically, he needs to convince Bilbo Baggins, who’s opinion holds a lot of sway among hobbits, and he really doens’t like Thorin. Basically, Bilbo and Thorin are equals on the political playing field, but they have a lot of figuring out to do… especially since it’s now arranged for them to be married. Whoops.

It’s a WIP and hasn’t been updated since February, but hopefully the author will come back to it. So far, it’s already very entertaining and worth a read if you haven’t already!

(Just a gentle reminder that all hobbits have:) A Passion For Mushrooms - by Chrononautical Word count: 89k Rating: T Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins COMPLETED

Ok so I read my way through Chrononautical’s breathtaking collection of Hobbit works in January after they finished their recent long fic (The Road From The Garden), and while I honestly could do a whole rec list based on their works alone this one is the one that truly kept me gasping for more with every single chapter. It’s an older work and already has a lot of recognition, but it deserves every bit of it because it’s THAT good.

In this one Bilbo wants to stay in Erebor, tries to find his place in the mountain and simultaneously tries to understand if Thorin hates him or not… the solution to all his troubles end up being a mine full of mushrooms. Probably one of the most brilliantly written takes on complicated dwarven culture I’ve read, doesn’t drag on and keeps you interested all the way through. PLUS there are tonnes of amusing little side-stories to enjoy, as well. If you have a boring weekend ahead, I recommend you fill it with A Passion for Mushrooms!

The Son of Erebor - by lindirs_gaze (WIP? COMPLETED?) Word count: 3.5k Rating: T Relationship: Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins

Modern-verse AU where Thorin is Superman, basically. Honestly, the mental image this gives me of Thorin flying around with Bilbo in his arms proper Superman style gives me LIFE. This was such a fun, but way too short read. I read it a couple of weeks ago, but the author is eluding to the possibility of a full fic…

-

-

Ok, so that was my week! Maybe you managed to add something to your weekend to-read list! Hope you’re having a good time and staying safe, and feel free to hit me up for a talk if you need company x

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[sketchguk]

Hi, friends! I can honestly say that I’ve been on Tumblr for about 9 years, but only 7 of those months have been spent on this account. Being a part of this fandom means so much to me, and as cheesy as it may be, I’ve never felt so much love from a community like this. I think that I should spread a little love back to everyone through this festive follow forever post in the spirit of the holidays (there’s also a message for my beautiful followers at the very end, so bear with me). Although I may have not spoken to you all personally, you’ve made my experience here amazing!! Whether it’s seeing you on my dash or in my inbox, you’ve all made me smile one way or another!! I’ll admit right now that I’ve sent so many anonymous messages to you all because I’m really shy, haha. Not to mention, I follow so many amazing content creators, gif/gfx makers and fic writers alike, and I want to make you smile as much as you have made me!! Y’all are so lovely, and I’m not totally sure why anyone chooses to interact with me or to follow me nonetheless. Maybe you’ve read a fic of mine, or none at all, I appreciate you all the same 💕 I know some of you may be in and out of hiatus, but just know that I’m thinking of you!! And if this is the first time you’re coming across my blog, I guess this is a good time to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Teresa. It’s nice to meet you 😄

If you’re reading this, hopefully we can chat a little more. I would love to get to know such lovely people 😊  To my beautiful mutuals, I love you all sooo much 💓 I’m not the best at expressing my feelings, but I hope that this is a start! @190713 @95swifi ✩ @alwayschoosechocolate ✩ @aureumjeon ✩ @beebopboobop ✩ @boobearcupcake ✩ @btsaremyfaves ✩ @btssmutheaven ✩ @bwiq ✩ @engeljimin ✩ @ddaengwrld ✩ @emiyooa ✩ @geniuslab 💌 ✩ @gimmeyoon (@gimmeyoon-main) ✩ @girlwiththespecs ✩ @gukgalore ✩ @gukkheaven ✩ @guktwt ✩ @hobimygs​ ✩ @hoseoknysus ✩ @idiotscalledfriends ✩ @joonary ✩ @kitsutaes (@geniusguk) 💌 ✩ @littlemisskookie ✩ @llsanjoonie ✩ @lovehrs ✩ @magicshop-myg ✩ @map-of-yoongi ✩ @maptoyoongi ✩ @mercurygguk ✩ @minflix ✩ @minlexia ✩ @minyoongsueit ✩ @mygsii ✩ @outroguks ✩ @pjmskosmos ✩ @sdmnluv ✩ @softaellie ✩ @spookitokki (@spookitokkimain) ✩ @starrytete 💌 ✩ @syugasshi ✩ @taesseok 💌 ✩ @tokyoscript ✩ @ve1vetyoongi ✩ @vminary 💌 ✩ @vtbts ✩ @vxngguk ✩ @wthkook ✩ @yourdelights 💌 If your url is bolded, scroll down for some words of affirmation. ✨ If you have an emoji (💌) next to your url, scroll down for a special message. 😇🌟  And here’s a shoutout to some of my favorite fic writers, because you all allow me escape to my happy place !! Thank you so much for contributing to the writing community !! This online space is pretty hectic, especially as of late, but you all make it worth it. Even if you’re taking a break from writing, I am here cheering you on !! And to let you know that I’ll support you no matter what. I hope you never lose your spark for passion and creativity !! Sometimes life gets the best of us, and other times, things are not in our control, but I want to send my love and appreciation to you nevertheless. Your fics have inspired me to try my own hand at writing, and I’m forever grateful ✨ You’re spectacular, every single one of you, so never forget that! Kpop isn’t that serious, but I’ll probably think about your fics until the day I die. @bymoonchild ✩ @floralseokjin ✩ @foreverpark ✩ @geniuslab ✩ @gimmeyoon ✩ @gukgalore ✩ @gukkheaven ✩ @guktwt ✩ @jamaisjoons ✩ @gukyi ✩ @kookswife ✩ @kinktae ✩ @kpopfanfictrash ✩ @minflix ✩ @mygsii ✩ @personasintro​ ✩ @prolixitae ✩ @readyplayerhobi ✩ @spookitokki ​ ✩ @ubemango ✩ @ve1vetyoongi (yee, you might see some repeats because my moots are super talented) 💖  A love letter from me to you: 💌 @geniuslab Megan !! This might sound soo sappy, but you’re the very first person I followed when I made this blog !! It’s because I’ve read all of your fics (perhaps more than once on my old account), and you inspired me to start writing as well. You have no idea how happy I was when you said you would get back into writing fics. I guess I’ll expose myself right now, but I’ve sent a few anons to you on the matter haha (yes, I am a 7 Chances enthusiast, one of many). You’re so talented, and I admire you so much 🥺 A gif maker and fic writer ?? Nothing you can’t do !! Among other things, you’re such a kind-hearted individual. I’ve read plenty of your text posts, and there’s just something so warm about the way you carry yourself. You deserve the world, and I wish for nothing but the best for you !! I hope you have an amazing new year and that you have space for peace, love, and healing. Please know that I support you through and through, and that you are well-loved ❣️

💌 @kitsutaes (@geniusguk) Yas !! I know we just started chatting, but I love getting to know you !! It’s hard for me to reach out to people because I’m shy, but I’m really grateful that you hit me up 😊 It’s been so nice getting to know you, and I hope we can get closer 💕 I’m already learning so much about you because our chats just flow from one topic to another !! You said you wanna visit new york one day, so I’ll hold you to that 😉 I’ll be your tour guide, and the only exchange I’ll ever need is your friendship !! Some dried mangoes would be nice too 😚 haha jk … unless 😳 I hope you have an amazing year filled with lots and lots of love. May you receive everything you’re wishing for !! 

💌 @starrytete Mirelle !! I’m still getting used to your new url LOL. But how could I ever forget you?? You are quite literally the human embodiment of an angel. You’re always spreading positivity, and I adore you with all my heart. I wish that I could be as radiant as you !! All the emojis that I’m using in this post?? An homage to you 🌼☀️ I don’t think I can ever look at emojis the same way thanks to you haha. Sending you lots of love!! I hope we can speak more in the future!! May the new year bring you happiness and good fortune!! Please take care of yourself, ok?! Message me whenever because my inbox is always open 🥰 

💌 @taesseok Mia !! I just love seeing you on my dash. I’ll give you a quick run down: Teresa: :[ Mia: *posts* Teresa: :] It’s like the universe knows. You’re a light in this world, and I hope you never lose your spark !! May you smile as often as I do (all thanks to you) 💗 I wish for nothing but your happiness since you deserve it and more. In fact, it’s the world that doesn’t deserve you and your sparkle !! I hope this year was rewarding for you, but I already know that 2020 will be better and better. I’ll be sending you lots of positive energy for the new year hehe 💞 Hopefully we can talk more soon !! I’d love to be friends !!

💌 @vminary Kiara !! I’m so happy that you reached out to me all those months ago because you’ve become one of my closest online friends !! I can’t tell you how much you mean to me because the limit does not exist. It’s so easy to talk to you, and sometimes our conversations are big sis/lil sis -esque (I’ve always wanted a sister lol 🐣). I feel as if we’ve taught one another so much, especially because of our cultural differences and the tiny age gap that we share. I find myself missing you because of the time zones LOL. In the middle of the day, I’m wondering whether or not you’re sleeping well :’) Why do you have to live across the world?? 😔 I would totally send you a package if I wasn’t broke haha. I’m sending you all my love here though, and I hope that’s enough !! 💛

💌 @yourdelights Destinee !! You are SUCH a sweetheart. The messages that you send me are so kind, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you. Do let me know how you stumbled across my blog because I feel like you’re way too cool for me LOL. Your posts are always so hilarious, and the tags have me dying. Your sense of humor >> !! My love for you is immeasurable, and I hope you know that, ahh. I think it was truly solidified when I found out you’re a fan of day6 and the rose :’) I’m not really a multi-stan, but from that moment on, I was sold. That was the only time my instincts did not let me down 🌹💝 I swear I’m getting introduced to new fandoms because of you haha. And when you went on a lil hiatus, I really missed seeing you on my dash !! I hope that you’ll be with us for a long time though !! I really can’t wait for what’s in store for next year, because no pressure or anything, but I’m sincerely excited for your WIPs hehe. I’m rooting for ya, so make sure you make the new year your b*tch !!  Lastly, thank you so much to my followers !! I see y’all in my activity, and I wanna let you know that I love you from the bottom of my heart !! At this point, I’m more of an update blog than a fanfic blog LOL :’) And if you follow me because you’ve stumbled through my fics, I just want to say 🤯 what?! It blows my mind that anyone reads my work, let alone enjoys it. I never would have though that I’d find solace in reading and writing considering I’m a full on STEM nerd. In conjunction with that, I literally started writing fiction 7 months ago to this day. I didn’t even realize that it would lead me to such amazing connections. With so many lovely people, popping in and out of my dashboard, inbox/DMs, and activity page, my heart b u r s t s with love!! Your interactions mean the world to me, even the most minute things like reblogs make my heart flutter. I really do check the reblogs to see if anyone has left a tag. Single words and keyboard smashes mean the world to me too !! Before I was a fic writer, I was just a silent reader. I always admired writers for the worlds they craft, the characters they develop, and the plots they devise, all for it to come together in one cohesive work of literature. Now that I have a vague understanding of what that’s like, I know that it’s nothing short of strenuous. Words are so powerful, and although I’m a really sensitive sap, I’ve read so many things that hit me to the core, and now I’m sure to tell the authors how much I enjoy their fics. If they went through hours (perhaps days/weeks/months) of drafting, writing, editing, and formatting, a quick comment from the reader really doesn’t hurt !! It’s the most rewarding thing a writer could ever ask for. As an amateur author myself, being on the receiving end is the thing that keeps me going !! I promise you, I don’t take any of it for granted. Your words seriously resonate with me, and it’s a huge motivator for me !! I hope that in the new year, I can work on new pieces for you all (as much as I don’t want to make up excuses, juggling life is not easy as a student!!) I always say that I write for myself, and as true as that is, I want to share my stories with you lovely people !! I pour my heart and soul into my work, and the build up of excitement is nothing if it means I can’t share it with someone else. So, old supporters, new supporters, look out for new content in the future. I hope you’re as excited as I am for the new year!! Please take care, y’all, and remember that I love you. My inbox is always open 💌 So let’s be friends 😇

[yeats-infection]

@sqvalors tagged me in a lil writing meme... if you’d like to participate please do and tag me! 

ao3 name: fluorescentgrey but i also post some things as drglass (dr. glass is the second song on the fluorescent grey EP by deerhunter, so if i make another pseud it will be likenew, then washoff, etc.) 

fandoms: about two thirds of my fics are harry potter or star wars but there are a lot of random little goodies. currently i have shifted into the terror (2018) mode. 

number of fics: 59 right now... i will throw a party when i get to 69... 

fic i spent the most time on: this is funny because some of these technically took me like six months or more of working on them extremely intermittently... namely, bone machine. the series in the garden has taken me the most time generally... and in that, minuet did take me several months of working really hard while i had a schedule / commute that was not conducive to having a creative practice... 

fic i spent the least amount of time on: hilariously, literally my most popular fic by ninety miles, the witcher PWP that i wrote out of spite in two or three hours. 

longest fic: the source codes series... particularly heelstone which is 102k. i wrote these two stories in a single summer like a crazy person and i hate talking about them because i find them WAY too gooey. honestly, that’s why they are so long. it’s all the gooeyness!!!!!! 

shortest fic: yes, the answer is the witcher porn again (this silly thing is going to be the answer for many other questions in this little meme but i’m just going to stop talking about it while i’m ahead). the west end is just about 50 words longer and is much better and is a much better and more interesting story. 

most hits: we’re just going to pretend it’s sex and dying in high society, which has the second most hits. this is certainly due to the fact that @wolfstarwarehouse hypes this story a lot for which i am endlessly grateful! 

most kudos: recovery position has the second most kudos so let’s go with that one! i have been very touched by the response to this story, though i do personally like the sequel beachcoma a little more... i understand why not everyone wants to read it because it is a little more bittersweet. but it also comes from my soul. 

most comment threads: the two stories in the source codes series are leading here, because i only posted two chapters at a time so that i would get maximal validation, lol. 

most bookmarks: in order to talk about a story i haven’t talked about yet, the rosary has the fourth-most. i think this fic is truly my r/s swan song... i said everything i wanted to say and did everything i wanted to do. it��s a really good mystery/noir story that i didn’t think i could pull off until i did! and i love the OCs in it who have sort of manifested these secret headcanons for me that i may expostulate upon someday. thank you to @piovascosimo for the inspiration to write it. 

total word count: 1,000,478. lol! 

favorite fic i wrote: cannot possibly choose but probably the top five in order of date posted are: desperado, a handful of dust, doom town, beachcoma, jump into the fire

fic i’d rewrite / expand on: i already said all of source codes because it’s way too gooey, i also could make hard time killing floor blues a lot tighter, and a memoir of the flesh deserves a way better ending because i was rushing to make the yuletide deadline...

share a bit of a WIP: i was trying for a while to write a band of brothers AU where they are vietnam vets who start growing cannabis... based on the steve earle song “copperhead road.” this could have been SO good but the plot was too huge and unwieldy so i gave up. my roommate is obsessed with this idea and keeps asking me how it’s going so i may yet finish. but there’s a bit below the cut.

The knock at the door in the night was a sharp shock, bright as lightning, that sent them both back to Khe Sanh and before. Nix ducked. Dick went behind the doorframe. They kept low into the kitchen, where Nix took his old officer’s pistol out from where he kept it hidden behind the fridge. Then they went to the door, keeping to the edges of the hallways.

On the porch was Liebgott. He could have made his own way in likely right onto the couch without either of them noticing, so it was something that he had knocked on the goddamn door. It was particularly something given that none of the boys from Easy should have known about the grow operation, or even about Dick’s farm, being as Dick’s address on file at the V.A. was a post office box in town and Nix’s was still in Jersey. These considerations were nil to somebody who had spent the better part of five years in the bush of Vietnam. He took a last draw from his cigarette and put it out against the rubber sole of his boot, then he put the butt in his pocket. As far as Nix knew, he hadn’t said a word since January 1970.  

“Joe,” said Dick diplomatically. He put his hand out and Liebgott took it. Then he took Nix’s. He had handsome dark eyes, but they were full of a wall. You could tell he saw you, but it was like nothing followed the necessary channels to the brain to spur emotional response. It had been like this even while he was still talking, and after a while you got used to it.

“You comin' in,” said Nix, knowing he probably would even if he wasn’t invited.

Inside, they all three sat at the kitchen table in silence nobody was about to break. Finally Dick got up and went to the drawer where they kept the rollies and their share of the product. He passed a sheaf of papers and a film canister full of bud to Liebgott across the table. Nix understood as well as Dick apparently did that there would be no getting anything over on this kid, who had eyes in the back and sides of his head. He’d probably had a nice tour of the property before coming inside. “You hungry, son,” Dick said.

Liebgott shook his head. He extracted one of the buds from the canister and inspected it. They did look mighty good if Nix said so himself. They looked artful in Liebgott’s hand. There were black scabs across his knuckles and a dark rime of filth under those fingernails which still existed. He seemed satisfied enough with what he saw to take a paper out of the sheaf and start shredding the flower into it.

“Captain Nixon calls it Easy Diesel,” said Dick, like he was trying to pretend it wasn’t the funniest thing in the world.

Liebgott looked up and a smile flashed across his face like the savage golden light of a flare falling over the far hills. His smile was sort of brutal, like the edge of a knife in a barfight, or like a seething animal. Luckily it went away as quickly as it had come. He rolled the joint with a quick grace and lit the business end with his old silver Zippo Nixon hadn’t seen since the war. There was a skull engraved on one side and on the other it read IF YOU ARE RECOVERING MY BODY, FUCK YOU.

“I don’t know how you found us, Joe,” Dick said thoughtfully. “You don’t have to… tell us. But we ain’t exactly keen to have just anybody here.” He paused and looked quickly to Nix, who tried to make it abundantly clear by means of eyebrows that he wasn’t sure they ought to go down this road, wherever it was leading. Dick ignored him. Liebgott was watching them, fully understanding their attempted clandestine exchange. “We ain’t exactly keen to have the DEA here,” Dick said at last.

The cherry at the end of the joint atomized with a crackling hiss. Liebgott looked between Dick and Nix with extreme seriousness sullied only by his exhaling a dignified white cloud out his nose. Then he nodded, once, curtly, demonstrating he understood his orders as they had been relayed.

Nix flashed Dick what he thought was a what have you done type look. But Dick looked totally unbothered. He should have gone into this business years ago for how violently unflappable he was. He said to Liebgott, “I’ll get some blankets and you can make up the couch.”

Liebgott shook his head to say no need. He got up, careful not to scrape the chair against the floor, shook each of their hands again, and in less than a minute’s time he was back out the door with nothing more than what he’d come in with except the joint.

Nix and Dick, on the porch, listening to the crickets, watched him disappear into the darkness.

“Are we hallucinating,” said Nix eventually.

“I sure as hell hope not,” Dick replied. “We’ve got to ship all that product or we’ll starve.”

-

In the morning Nix was in the field, inspecting the plants. Liebgott was standing there at his quarter for god knew how long before he cleared his throat and Nix jumped about six feet in the air. There was a smirk shifting across Liebgott’s face that he would have been better about hiding when Nix had been his commanding officer. He looked like he hadn't slept. Back over there he had looked like that a lot, but it had been different, because of all the uppers they were taking. He cocked his head back over toward the long driveway and then he was off across the dew-wet grass which had already soaked through the hems of his canvas pants and his destroyed shoes.

Nix followed, like a duckling behind a hen. Liebgott still walked as though there were eyes in all sides of his head quickly processing information as he moved. Nix doubted you ever lost that kind of skill, even if in the real world it made you look like a mental patient. He caught up so they could walk side by side through the dew-wet grass. “What did you think,” he asked Liebgott.

Liebgott passed Nix the universal sign of furrowed brow that meant please clarify.

Nix gestured with pinched fingers to his own mouth as though Liebgott were also deaf. “The grass.”

He shaped his hand into an a-ok sign.

“You get any sleep?”

He nodded an infinitesimal nod, like the answer was a secret just for Nix to know.

“Well if you think it could be better just tell me how.”

Nix had had a high school friend whose sister was deaf from scarlet fever and whom he had watched on occasion communicate with her by means of sign language. Early on, back over there, he had sent off to command for a book, but by the time it came he understood it wasn’t that Liebgott couldn’t speak, he just didn’t want to. It was something like how people’s hair supposedly turned white if they witnessed some evil thing, or how people became ascetics in the name of god. If you were really fucked up on drugs or fear or otherwise, or if the natural magical thinking from childhood hadn’t been fully beaten out of you, you might have seen it as the sacrifice he had given to the forest for letting him out without a scratch so many goddamn times. It had been a bit of a trial to explain this to Spiers, who was practical almost to a fault, sometimes.

Liebgott showed another a-ok sign. Then he did a thumbs up which Nix knew meant it was good.

All in all it was smart. If he was still talking, Nix might have asked him, what have you been up to? You been sleeping on the street? You been to the V.A.? What did they tell you? And the answer would’ve been nothing good. Instead they just walked in the cool grass together in the sunshine and the morning was beautiful, and the air was sweet. It was all lovely until Liebgott had to physically stop him, laughing, somehow silently but also hysterically, from stepping right onto the razor-thin tripwire stretched invisibly across the dark gravel.

In the kitchen, Dick was doing the numbers. He took his glasses off when Nix came in and put the coffee on. “He learned a thing or two from Charlie,” Nix said, leaning against the counters.

“Who, Joe?”

“Our driveway is thoroughly ratfucked.”

“Hmm,” said Dick. He put the glasses back on and turned back to the accounting book. He was going to do this whole thing as above board as was humanly possible. The vivid daylight came through the window and struck the lens of his unstylish Ray-Bans and threw a kind of prism of color upon the white paper and the chicken-scratch sums. Nix felt like maybe this was something you would paint if you had the necessary implements and artistic ability. “Maybe we should see if we can get any more help.”

-

He was mildly ashamed to say it, but the doc had always kind of creeped Nix out. He imagined a hypothetical conversation with Dick, who he knew loved the kid, almost like a son: Listen, don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid, I owe him my life, yadda yadda. But either he’s dropped the brown acid one too many times or the voodoo exorcism went FUBAR.

The doc had arrived on the farm on the heels of Sunshine and Rainbows, aka Mr. Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed, aka one Edward “Babe” Heffron. Nix had written Babe in South Philly, being as he was a connoisseur of bud and once upon a time had been famed among their company for smoking anything anyone put in his hand, often to his own detriment. The operation was getting big enough that Nix needed another pair of hands, other than Liebgott, of course, who was still fortifying the long driveway whilst giving away his cover by playing Led Zeppelin IV as loudly as was possible. It was a tough calculation, because Babe was a genius of pot, but he couldn’t keep a damn secret, and lo and behold he had dragged along with him a dark shadow in the human form of Eugene Roe. They came up the driveway in a big old Ford pickup that rattled its rust off in the potholes. Liebgott had dismantled the traps specially for their arrival when they had called from Williamsport to say they were an hour out.

“I figured we could use a medical professional to lend some credibility to the operation,” said Babe thoughtfully, sparking a joint on the porch over sweating jam jars of iced tea.

Roe snorted or something but it wasn’t really a normal person’s self-effacing laugh. Winters clapped his back. Nixon knew Roe had dropped out of medical school after two years but there was no need to say anything. Everyone knew that. Now he was working construction and Babe claimed to be working as a mechanic in a garage, but this seemed suspect given the state of the car they had driven up in.

“Well we sure as hell are glad you boys are here,” said Dick magnanimously.

Babe exhaled an opaque cloud that rivaled Nix’s own father’s ability with a stogie. “Can we see the bush?”

They went out all together to the field and ducked between the rows of corn. Babe knelt in the soil. It was damp with dew and quiet in here. It would have been almost like over there except it smelled good. “What’s the cross,” Babe said, inspecting the plants.

“It’s an indica blend…”

“Well, I can tell that,” he said.

“So you’re an expert on the plant now too?”

“I’ve just smoked an awful lot of joints in my life, Captain Nixon.”

Roe snorted again. When they all looked to him he said, “You said in the letter there was some kind of altruistic reason for all this.”

“It’s medicine, Gene,” Babe said gently, but also like they had had this conversation thirty thousand times. Nix filed away for later the intimation that Roe had read the letter he’d sent Babe at home in South Philadelphia.

“I guess you don’t remember the psychic break you had at the Do Lung Bridge.”

Babe waved this remark off, even though Nix remembered it too. It threw a chill down his back, like a water balloon had hit him at the base of his neck. “That was laced,” Babe said.

“With what!”

“I don’t know! Something bad!” Babe turned to Dick and Nix. “Gene’s teetotal,” he said, like this was a big old point of contention.

So that counted out the bad acid. Maybe he was just like this. Maybe he had had those big sad bug eyes as a child or an infant or a fetus in the womb. “Good on you, Doc,” Nix said.

“I ain’t trying it,” Roe said, folding his arms over his narrow chest, “no matter what it does.”

The doc was a tough cookie. Babe had claimed, over there, about as high as the Byrds song, that the doc came from a long line of the kind of folks described in Dr. John’s “Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya” and that, as such, he could heal wounds with his mind. When it didn’t work, as on the night when Jackson died, or the night when Hoobler died, or in the forest when Muck and Penkala died, or the night when Liebgott stopped speaking, he went to sit for a while on the edge of camp until Dick went over and made him eat something. Nix watched them in a state of confused envy, and then he went to write the letters to the families, so that Dick wouldn’t have to.

At dusk, after they ate a light dinner of corn on the cob and rice and beans, he took the boys up into the hayloft with an armful of blankets. “Sorry this is the best we got,” he said. He had said that about a hundred god damn times since they got here.

Roe looked like he wanted to say, you’ve got to stop apologizing for everything. Instead he said, “Where does Lieb sleep.”

Babe perked up. “Joe’s here?”

“You didn’t see him in the driveway?”

Nix sighed. “He’s gonna want to know what he did wrong that you saw him,” he said.

“Does he still — ”

Nix shook his head. “Not a peep.”

In a couple days time, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he was hot and tired and stoned, up to his elbows in earth in the field, showing Babe how to replant the hatchlings he’d grown from seed. “You guys room together or what?”

“Me and Gene?” Babe’s eyes were red in the corners from smoking and from the sun. “What about you and Dick?”

Dick, who had the radio on inside turned up as loud as it would go, so that they would hear it in the field, playing Crosby Stills and Nash doing “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes.” “What about me and Dick?” said Nix.

Babe was a smart kid. He realized this was going nowhere. With muddy hands he popped one of the seedlings out of its little pot and cradled it into the ground. “Well, I think he thinks he’s looking after me, but in actuality, I am looking after him.”

[gideongrace]

Talking amongst ourselves - fanfic writer interviews: @ihni

(Originally, these interviews were done more conversationally, but this interview is a LONG one! So I edited it down for tumblr. You can read the whole unedited, uncut interview over on a03! There are pictures involved. :)

Please say your first name, your age, your pronouns, the fandoms you write for and provide a link to your a03. You can also mention your sexual orientation or other details, if you'd like.

 Ihni:

My real name is Moa, but I go by Ihni online. On AO3, I have an account under Ihni (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni) but that's for rhymes (and doodles). I only wrote rhymes/poetry for a long time, and when I started writing fic, I wanted to put that under another pen name. I was NOT comfortable writing stories for YEARS. Now, though, I don't care. So, I write fics under the pen name Thei (https://archiveofourown.org/users/thei/).

It's all Stranger Things, these days. Harringrove (because I love the fandom and I like the two of them interacting) and Billy-centric (because I love his character, SO MUCH).

I am ace and aro, so my fics tend to not contain any sex (I have ALLUDED to it a couple of times, but that's basically as far as I go). I am also just as happy to write fics without any romantic or sexual relationships at all. Billy and Steve can be buddies only, as far as I'm concerned.

How do you feel about being aroace when so much of fanfic is all about romance and sex?

Ihni:

I live by the tried and tested rule of "don't like, don't read". 

There is a lot of romance in our fandom, for sure. But it's not like it's lovey-dovey IN OUR FACE romance, you know? 97% of Harringrove fics are two dumb boys who are bad at communication and who can't deal with Feelings. And I fucking live for that! Also, even the lovey-dovey fluffy romance stuff is cute, when it's them. I may not want a relationship for myself, but I don't mind at all if the boys are in one! (If they want it, they deserve it <3)

And as for sex ... well. I can read about sex, if it's well written or if it furthers the plot. If it's too graphic, I tend to scroll past it though, or just skim through it. It doesn't... give me a lot? I guess. Like, it's not like I read "smut" in the tags and go "oooh I have to read this!" - rather the opposite, in fact. I can read it, but it's not something I actively look for, and when I stumble upon it, I don't always read all of it. If I know the writer, I'll probably read through it to honor their work, though.

I just won't ever leave a "omg that was so hot!" comment! XD If someone expects that from me, they'll be disappointed (and I'm constantly terrified of disappointing or offending people for NOT commenting on their smut).

Basically, I am the master of my own fandom experience, and if something makes me uncomfortable I will keep away from it. Simple as that.

More people should live by that rule.

What's your writing process like?

 Ihni:

Uuuuuuuugh.

That's an interpretation of my writing process.

No, but.

I usually get SUPER INSPIRED to write a specific scene, or concept... and THAT part goes well, but then I have to build a STORY around it, and that takes SUCH A LONG TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT!

And also, usually, it gets out of hand.

I usually have to force myself to get the words in, honestly. And also, I get real tired of what I'm writing, real fast. So I have to force myself to finish (I have a few WIPs that are more than a year in the making...) before moving on to other things. (And I usually write the other things inbetween, anyway.)

I get easily distracted, when I write. Like, actually sitting down and writing takes an hour and a half. Then I MIGHT write for like twenty minutes, lol.

Cold Turkey Writer was a godsend XD.

If I have internet on while I'm writing, not a lot will be written, let's just ... let's just say that.

How do you edit?

Ihni:

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Erm.

Well.

Sometimes, I read through it once, and change a few things, and let that be it.

In a couple of cases, for the longer ones, I have actually made an effort to read through it more than once. (The problem being that by then, I'm so sick of it that I will skim through it just to get it over with.)

A couple of times, a friend has read through it for me, and given me pointers. Which is VERY HELPFUL! But they've offered to do it for me, I would never ask it of someone.

And about the editing process ... I check for spelling mistakes, or when something sounds wrong, or looks wrong ... and then I fix it, so it looks and sounds better in my head. I don't know. That's editing, right?

What fanfic authors do you admire?

Ihni:

In the Harringrove fandom, I have to mention LEMONLOVELY, because I'm in love with the way she writes Billy, and the way she's shaping her fics as she goes, and the way her attention to detail brings a whole mood (I am OBSESSED with her "Words Left Unsaid" fic, and am probably that fic's biggest fan).

LYMRICKS, because fucking hell, they sure can write a fic that draws you in. There's something about long sentences in combination with short sentences that really makes them easy to read, and the language is like a punch to the gut, at times.

CALLIEB, because I love their stories and I'm currently following "Second Thoughts" and I love how they write everyone like ... like they're holding their breath, waiting for something.

And I'm not even gonna mention any others by name because I'm terrible with names and I'm bound to forget someone and I'm just, I don't want to do that. Our fandom is full of talented writers, and I just. If I've commented on your fic, I read through all of it and I liked it. If I haven't - well, I HAVE been writing more lately = less time to read, and I have like 100 fic tabs open on all of my devices ... I hope to get there, some time!

In other fandoms, let me mention PeaceHeather (for how they write Loki and that world), aloneintherain (such good whump!), isaDanCurtisproduction (the absolute best Spideypool!) and gaelicspirit (who writes lovely angsty whumpy Musketeers fics). Like. Just to mention 0.01%, or something.

I don't think any of them, particularly, have impacted my style - because I don't HAVE a style - but I soak up every word of every fanfic I ever read, and if one sentence is a particularly pretty string of words, I will copy & paste it into a word document that is now 170 pages long, or screenshot it to keep it forever. ❤️

Words. <3

What's your favorite story of yours?

What's your least favorite story of yours?

What's your favorite line you've ever written?

Ihni:

Like, in what SENSE? Even though I know my writing isn't up to par, they're still my babies. Still my creations. I love them in different ways! Like. I love "Coming Back" because it was the longest I had written back then, and it's probably the one I am most pleased about, writing-wise, and it's also the one I went through and edited the most. So it feels like the one I worked the most on.

I love "Toy Soldiers" because it was a totally self-indulgent piece of writing that I wrote for the joy of it, and because I wanted to read it and no one else was about to write it for me.

I love "About Apologies" because something about it pleases me, it was an experiment that didn't fail, and I like it more and more with time.

I love "Less of a mistake, more of a miscalculation" because I had fun while writing it, and it turned out kind of like I wanted it to, plot-wise.

I love "Actions and reactions", because I had no idea what I was doing back then, but I still did it, and somehow it got long and I still don't know how that happened.

And I realise that this makes me sound a little self-centered, but I worked hard on them. I love them, even if they're my ugly and imperfect babies. And even if I cringe if I re-read certain parts XD

I guess my least favorite story of mine (and I'm guessing we're talking Stranger Things things here?) is "Not unusual" because a) I never re-read it and b) it was the start of something that I have to actually FINISH at some point and ugh, that was not the original plan. If we're talking least favorite stories in all fandoms, then definitely "In which there are mistakes made", which was a Teen Wolf fic, and the reason why I don't do WIPs anymore. The last chapter was written simply to fucking END it, and ugh, I hate it.

The favorite line I've ever written ...? I don't know. Are we talking in fic? Because I write my best stuff in comments, honestly. :p I don't think I have an answer for that one, actually. Sorry :S

What part of writing is easiest for you?

What part of writing is hardest for you?

 Ihni:

Easiest? Dialogue. I like dialogue. Like, as a non-English speaker I can at least imagine a plausible exchange of words, and banter, and make it sound somewhat realistic, I imagine.

Hardest? The rest. Like, some people are just fucking WIZARDS with words, can write these long descriptive sentences that perfectly sets the mood for when a character gracefully moves across the room ... whereas I am just, "He stood up and walked over. End of fucking story."

What do you do when you're struggling for inspiration?

Ihni:

Give up?

Or do something else.

Or go and read. (That's basically the same as giving up.)

Or, if I'm still writing, I go to another part of the story and write THAT, and hope that I'll feel like connecting the two pieces, later.

Inspiration is a bitch.

Who introduced you to fandom and when?

Ihni:

Oh god. I am old. I don't remember. 

I started writing stories when I was real young, and I was always reading something. I started writing stories with my friends when I was a teenager. Then we discovered the internet (yes, this was around the time when we got internet access in school and at home, told you I was old!) and when doing that, I guess we found more like-minded people.

Fanfics ... weren't an organized thing, back then. But I've been reading them, and been in fandoms, ever since I discovered that there were people online who liked the same things that I liked.

I would say, actively, from maybe around 19-20 years old? Like, that was ACTIVE fandom-ing.

What is your advice to fellow writers?

How often do you jump between fandoms?

How long have you been writing?

Ihni:

As a WRITER, I am not the best person to give advice to writers, I think. I'd rather TAKE advice than give it, at this point.

As a READER, my advice is to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, because you are doing a good thing and you are creating a version of a world that is yours, versions of characters that you can shape into anything, and SOMEONE out there will love you for it (probably me).

I jump between fandoms ... hmm, as a WRITER? Seldom. Billy's my jam and I'm not moving.

As a READER? All the time. I mean, I'm pretty deep into Harringrove and Billy and Stranger Things, but sometimes I need something light-hearted, and then I go back to some of my basic fandoms, and read something else. I will never run out of things to read. 

❤️

And how long have I been writing? FOREVER. I wrote when I was young, and thought I was going to be an author (wrote in Swedish, back then). Then I wrote when I was a teen, for fun. Then I stopped writing. Then I started writing rhymes, in English, because it was a craft I could do and train in, and it was short pieces. And only in recent years (very recent), have I started writing fics. And now, I write long-ass fics in English, so I guess I have at least come a long way!

Why do you write?

Ihni:

...

I just sat and stared at the screen for a good ten seconds.

I'd say that it differs.

Sometimes, I write because I want to READ something and no one has written it (or is going to).

Sometimes, I write because I want a very specific thing or feeling, and it doesn't exist yet.

Sometimes, I write because I am inspired.

Sometimes, I write because I want to.

Sometimes, I write because of a deadline.

Sometimes, I write because there's something in my head that Won't Leave Me The Fuck Alone until I get it out.

Sometimes, I write for fun.

Sometimes, I write because I want to hurt.

Sometimes, I write because I need to.

Sometimes, I write because I want to become better at it; learn; reach towards the writers whose work I love.

And sometimes, I just sit and stare at a document, don't write a single fucking word, and go watch a movie instead.

[cdelphiki]

wait wait wait what’s this I hear about a fic where Damian and Tim are kidnapped and Tim is forced to do things or Damian gets tortured bc I don’t remember that WIP and it’s EXACTLY my cup of tea like holy frick did I literally prompt that I don’t know but it is 100% My Kind Of Fic -gremlin

:D I’ve been working on it since like November, I want to say.  It was born of a handful of whumptober prompts and quickly ballooned to be wayyyyy too long to write for whumptober.  But anyway, Tim and Damian get kidnapped while working a Human Trafficking case, lots of torture happens.  Some brainwashing.  It’s bad.  They’re missing a while.  (but not life happens-a while.  Like, less than a year, while) They grow very super close in the meantime.  Because nothing brings people together like trauma!

I’m still super torn on the title.  There’s a phrase said around here a lot in the spring, and it’s Finnish, and it means “The new snow will be the death of the old snow,” and I feel it’s fitting, but it’s in another language.  You know?  I’m afraid that’s too cliche and will turn people off from clicking on the fic. So if anyone has title suggestions, I’m all ears.  I might come up with the perfect answer as I keep working.   

But anyway. Here’s the first chapter, just for you!  💕

Untitled WIP, chapter 1

Going back in school was not something Tim had ever planned on doing.  When he took over as CEO at Wayne Enterprises almost a year ago, he figured his days in the classroom were over.  As thrilling as 10th grade was, CEO was pretty much as high up on the ladder he could get, and if he got there without a high school diploma, what on earth was the point?

But Bruce had been adamant.  Talked him down out of his full time work at WE and encouraged him to go back to school.  Despite Tim’s assurances that he did, indeed, have friends, Bruce seemed to think that being at school around ‘normal’ kids would be good for him.  

Maybe Bruce was right, because sometimes Tim really enjoyed school.  11th grade was remarkably easy and stress-free compared to work, even if Lucius or Tam still called him every once in a while.  Or often, actually, but they knew not to bother him before 3pm unless it was an absolute emergency.  Which meant Tim’s days at school were rather relaxing.

That didn’t mean Tim didn’t live for the final school bell, though, just like every other student in that overpriced building.  

“Tim,” he heard someone shout from down the hall as he was shoving his books into his backpack, antsy to leave for the weekend, “we need to get together and work on our presentation.”

“Nah,” Tim said, turning to whom he now recognized as Mike, his lab partner, “I got it done.  I’ll email you the slides now.  There are notes on each slide, just review it and we’ll be fine.”

“Really?” Mike said, running to catch up as Tim made his way out of the building, “You don’t want me to do anything?”

“Nothing to do,” Tim said, waving a hand as he finished attaching the file to an email, “presentations are easy.  I have marked what you have to say in class.”

“Wow, thanks man.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” Tim said, turning toward the lower school where he needed to meet with Damian for pickup.

“We should hang out some time anyway,” Mike called after him, “I’ll text you.”

Tim shot back a peace sign, not even turning back to face Mike.  Because if he did, that would show the goofy smile he couldn’t contain as he bounded down the sidewalk. 

He almost felt…normal again.  Himself.  

Bruce was right.  Going back to school was a great idea.

Tim’s smile didn’t fade as he approached the pick-up area of the lower school.   That is, until he felt Damian approach him from behind.  It was like a sixth sense—a spidey sense—the way the back of his neck prickled whenever the brat was behind him. In reality, he’d probably actually heard Damian, and his subconscious was warning him of impending danger.  Which was unfair to Damian, maybe.  Since he hadn’t actually bodily harmed Tim in at least four hours.  

Fine.  Like three months. But still. 

“Drake,” Damian greeted in his usual flat, disinterested tone.  

“Gremlin,” Tim said, scanning over the line up of cars for Alfred.  There were over a dozen very nice, very expensive cars all along the road, mixed in with many more modest cars, but none of them belonged to Alfred.  Which was strange, because Alfred was usually one of the first in line.  

“It is unlike Pennyworth to be late,” Damian observed dryly, and Tim could hear the underlying tone of worry in the brat’s voice.  

Nodding, Tim scanned the cars again.  Then he saw it.  Bruce’s Tesla, about 15 cars back.  With a smile, Tim headed toward the car, uncaring whether Damian had noticed Bruce yet or not.  Now that they were in eyesight of Bruce, Damian was no longer his problem.  About ten seconds of babysitting was all he had to do that day.  It was a good day.

Damian, apparently, did notice Bruce.  Or, he at least followed Tim anyway toward the Tesla, and only reacted once Tim shouted, “Shotgun,” and quickly opened the passenger door and slid in. 

“Drake,” Damian hollared, scowl becoming more pronounced on his face as Tim grinned and shut the door between them. 

“That is unfair, I always have to sit in the back,” Damian grumbled after he opened the backdoor and slid in.

“That’s because you’re the baby,” Tim said, fastening his seatbelt and looking over at Bruce, “and tiny.  It’s safer for you in the back.”

Instead of react to their bickering, Bruce just grunted and pulled out into traffic. 

“I am not a baby,” Damian pouted, kicking at Tim’s seat, “and I am only a few inches shorter than you.”

“Well then, you should have called shotgun.”

“How was school?” Bruce asked in his gruff tone that signaled it was time to stop arguing, without him having to explicitly state that was the case.

“Fine,” Tim reported, pulling his tablet from his bag to settle back and read on the drive home.  He had a few reports to catch up on for work and he’d have to call Lucius once they got home to catch up on what happened while he was at school.

He was trying to let go of WE, honestly he was, but it was difficult.  And he enjoyed the work so much.

“Where is Pennyworth, Father?” Damian demanded.

Bruce sighed as he checked his mirrors while merging onto the highway.  “Running errands.  I offered to pick you up.”

“Why?” Damian said, now rifling through his backpack, likely for his sketchbook, if Tim knew the kid.  

“I can’t offer to pick you boys up?” Bruce asked, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.  

Tim smiled to himself as he opened up the next report to skim.  Bruce’s good moods were like sunshine in the middle of winter.  Warm and bright, lifting the mood of all those around him.  Today really was a good day.  

“Tt. You never have before.” 

“Actually, I do have an ulterior motive.”

“Shocker,” Tim mumbled, trying to get through the last report as fast as he could before Bruce demanded his attention.

“You know that case I’ve been working on for the past few months?” Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow at Tim.

Tim clicked his tablet’s screen off and asked, “the human trafficking one?”

“I’ve got a lead,” Bruce said, grunting in the affirmative, “and I’m leaving tonight to follow it.”

Ah.  So Bruce wanted to get them alone, trapped in a car, to impress into them how important it was to not kill each other on Alfred’s watch.  Smart.  Because neither of them would remain in the room otherwise.

“Where are we going, Father?” 

Tim snorted, “Please, Damian.  Like he’s take us on a human trafficking case that’s dragging him outside the country.”

“Well, actually,” Bruce said before Damian could protest, “I wanted to bring you, Tim.”

“Me?” Tim asked at the same time Damian shouted, “Him?”

“Yes.  Your skills would be useful to-”

“But Father,” Damian shouted, leaning forward so his face was right between the passenger and driver’s seats, “I am Robin.  I am your partner.”

“You’re both Robin,” Bruce grumbled as he checked around him to shift lanes, “and I have more than one partner.”  

“It’s Batman and Robin, not Batman and Red Robin,” Damian protested, still right into Tim’s ear.

“Damian,” Bruce snapped, “sit back properly and fasten your seatbelt.”

“You can’t take Drake,” Damian continued ranting, even as he complied with Bruce’s order, “It’s not fair.  You never take me anywhere.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Bruce grumbled, “Tim, we’ll leave tonight.  I’ve already let the others know we’ll be away and asked them to watch Gotham in the meantime.”

“What about me, Father,” Damian asked, still demanding in his tone, his age shining through gloriously with his tantrum.  

“Damian,” Bruce said calmly, just to be cut off by Damian again.

“This isn’t fair.  Not only are you leaving me behind but you’re going to force me to stay in all weekend.  I follow your dumb rules about curfews on school nights, this isn’t fair.”

“Damian,” Bruce repeated, tensing some as he shifted his hands on the steering wheel.  Tim just sank down into his chair and grinned.  Bruce angry with Damian was one of his favorite things.  It was even better than Bruce’s good moods, because the little brat deserved to get yelled at sometimes. It always made Tim happy to actually hear one of the adults in their lives actually do it.

“Why are you bringing Drake?”  

Tim grunted when his seat was kicked again.

Bruce seemed undeterred by Damian’s outburst and said simply, “His skills are more suited to this case than yours.”  

“What skills?” Damian shrieked, “I am the superior Robin in every way.”

Tim let out an annoyed huff turned his tablet back on.  Yelling over, he was ready to get immersed back into his work. He was used to Damian’s verbal abuse, but wasn’t interested in hearing Bruce not defend him. 

No one ever defended him against Damian.

“I need someone clever and quick on his feet who will not be rash in his decisions.  This is a very sensitive case and a lot can go wrong if we move too quickly.”

“I’ve done human trafficking cases before,” Damian protested, “I can handle it.  I can do it!”

“Not like this one you haven’t.  A lot can go wrong, it’s too risky.”

“But Father,” Damian said, his voice coming dangerously close to whining and Bruce was having none of it.

“If you are hoping to convince me to bring you,” Bruce said, his voice hard, “throwing a tantrum is not the way to do it.  All you are proving to me is that you are a petulant child.”

Damian let out a growl and kicked at Tim’s seat one more time as he collapsed against his own seat.  “This isn’t fair,” Tim heard the kid mumble.  

“We will leave in a few hours, so when we get home I expect you to wrap up any business you have,” Bruce told Tim, as if there hadn’t just been an argument in the car, “pack warm clothes.  It’s still winter in Siberia.”

“Okay,” Tim agreed, typing out an email for Lucius in lieu of the call he had been planning on having, “when will we return?”

“Wednesday, at the earliest,” Bruce grunted, just as they pulled off the highway toward Bristol, “Friday at the latest.”

Nodding, Tim finished up the email and said, “Did you tell my school already?”

“Alfred will call on Monday.  I already filled him in on the details.”

“Father, please,” Damian said, much more calmly than anything he’d said thus far.

“No, Damian,” Bruce said gently, almost sadly, while still somehow making his words sound firm and unchangeable, “Not this time.”

The enraged screech Damian let out, however, was nothing near gentle.  Tim had to hide his smile again when he heard it, because it was about as close to throwing a tantrum Damian got.  At least, the crying kind of tantrum.  He stomped around and screamed a lot while throwing things, usually.  This just sounded like…. a kid.  Being mad his dad won’t buy him that new toy at Walmart.  

Amusing.

“Damian Wayne,” Bruce snapped, turning to face Damian while they were stopped at a traffic light, “I said no and that’s final. Keep this up and you’ll find yourself benched indefinitely.”

Bruce’s death glare was leveled at Tim for half a second when he accidentally snorted. But Tim could tell there was no real heat behind it.  Not for Tim, at least.  It kind of made it harder to not laugh.  

But the threat worked, and Damian went silent and still.  And remained like that for the rest of the drive home.  Tim managed to keep the smile off his face, a feat much harder than would be expected in an atmosphere so tense.  

Those good mood vibes from earlier hadn’t been squashed by Damian, and Tim would be hard pressed to say he was anything but happy.

“I hate you, Drake,” Damian eventually muttered, just as Bruce parked the car in the garage.  

Tim grinned widely and turned to face Damian, just so he could stick his tongue out at the brat.  An action that would have earned him a knife in the face, six months ago.  Now all it got him was another kick to his chair.  He might have been punched, though, had he not quickly retreated back to the safety of having the seat between them.

Bruce simply raised an eyebrow at Tim, adequately scolding him for his behavior without even opening his mouth.

But then, of course, Bruce did open his mouth, too once they’d gotten out of the car. “If you’re going to act like a child-”

“No,” Tim said hastily, slinging his bag on his back, “you already invited me.  No take backs.”

“No take backs?” Bruce echoed, this time not masking the slight upturn of his lips, “Tim, what’s gotten into you?”

Tim just grinned and said, “Nothing.”  

“Well,” Bruce said, wrapping an arm around Tim’s shoulder as they walked.  Much slower than Damian’s stride, when he’d run into the Manor the second the car doors unlocked, “It’s nice.  To see you like this.”

When all Tim did was smile, because heck yeah, it was nice to feel that way, too, Bruce pat his back and then pushed him forward, “Go on.  Wrap things up, pack a bag.  We leave at 6.”

So Tim did.  Even as he listened to Damian throw crap around in his bedroom, just on the other side of the wall from Tim’s, he cheerfully packed a bag.  

Because between having a great day at school, making new friends, and getting a rare good mood from Bruce, Tim was already doing pretty well.  His days of depression felt pretty well gone and dead.  But take all that and add it to going on a week long trip with just him a Bruce? Something that hadn’t happened in years? Something he once thought would never happen again?

Yeah.

Tim was pretty damn ecstatic.