#hotchreid angst

[jareaulover]

Rejection (Hotchreid)

A/N: I really liked this prompt, I've been wanting to write something with unrequited feelings for a while and I thought this was a good chance. Thank you to @nico5580 for the prompt!! <3 It's pretty short, but that's alright.

Full story below cut, or read on AO3

Word count: 865

“Reid, when you finish your case report Hotch wants to see you in his office.” JJ said as she passed his desk on the way back to her office. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed. What could Hotch want to talk to him about? His performance had been perfect as of late, and he’d completely kicked his dilaudid habit, and he’d been regularly attending AA meetings. So what else was there?

Spencer finished writing his case report fairly quickly and made his way to his supervisor’s office. He felt his heartbeat speed up as he approached the door, his palms started sweating and he had to remind himself to breathe normally. This wasn’t too atypical, though. He’d developed feelings for the older man quite some time ago. And he liked to think that he hid it pretty well. Growing up in an emotionally unstable environment with no one to really confide in had made it easy for him to keep things in.

But, of course, that was to the untrained eye. And Spencer spent most of his time around extremely well trained eyes…

He knocked on the wooden door twice, and then waited. It only took a moment for Hotch’s voice to come through the door, “Come in.” He said, and Spencer obeyed. He opened the door and entered the man’s office. He quickly took a seat in one of the chairs across from Aaron’s desk. He rested one hand on each knee and looked at Hotch expectantly.

Aaron looked at him for a few seconds, almost like he was studying him. His eyes were narrowed, as they usually were, and trained on Spencer. The younger man felt himself begin to sweat under the gaze of his boss.

“What, um,” Spencer’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, “What did you want to talk about?” He asked, carefully. He inwardly celebrated the fact that he had kept his voice so even. This was Hotch, there was no need for Spencer to be so nervous.

“Recently it has come to my attention that you may be harboring certain feelings for a member of this team.” Hotch started, speaking in that overly professional voice of his. Spencer took in a sharp breath, averting his eyes from the man in front of him. His heartbeat was speeding up again, and he was starting to feel like he couldn’t breathe.

“Oh…” He said, lamely. He wasn’t sure how to respond. What had Hotch said again? ‘A certain member of this team’ so maybe… Maybe he didn’t know that it was him. Hotchner continued talking.

“I’ve known for a while, though, Spencer. Even before Derek mentioned it…” His boss admitted, “I’d had my suspicions, but he confirmed it.” Spencer was mentally cursing his coworker/friend. It wasn’t like he had told Derek, but the man was a great profiler and had known Spencer for a long time.

“I-I don’t know what to say…” Spencer said, quietly. He kept his eyes trained down on the carpet, studying the dark material like it would give him all of the answers that he would need.

Things were quiet for a minute, neither man was sure what to say. Aaron broke the silence with a sigh.

“Reid, listen…” He started. Spencer’s heart stung from the rejection that he knew was coming, “I think that its relatively normal to develop certain feelings for someone in a place of authority over you. But it’s just… It’s not something that can work out. Do you understand?” He asked. Spencer bit his lip.

“Um, yes. I-I understand.” Spencer said, barely above a whisper. He didn’t trust his voice, if he spoke any louder he was afraid that he would cry.

“I’m really sorry, Spencer. Is there anything I can do…?” He started to offer, but Spencer shot up from his seat and headed for the door, “Reid-”

“It’s alright, Hotch. Good talk. Um, I’m fine, I’m-” He pursed his lips and pushed through the door, walking out into the bullpen. He quickly gathered his things and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder. It was late, anyway, and he needed to be getting home.

“Reid!” He heard Aaron call from the doorway of his office, but he was already halfway to the elevator by then. He pressed the down button, 5 times in quick succession before the doors finally opened and he stepped in. He could hear Aaron’s footsteps approaching the elevator, but the doors close before he go there. Spencer breathed a sigh of relief as the machine began moving down.

The commute home was normal, and once he was in his apartment, he finally let the tears fall. He had known it was stupid as soon as he realized that the feelings he held for Hotch were more than what he held for the other members of his team. Spencer only wished he had been better at hiding the feelings…

He finally got to sleep around 3 am, but at 3:45 his phone went off.

Spencer lifted the device and stared at the text on his screen.

Hotchner: We’ve got a case.

Spencer sighed and got out of bed. This was going to be a long one…

[fishbrain-glubglub]

She's Not Here

If anyone were to ask the BAU who the epitome of masculinity was, they would all immediately point towards their Unit Chief: SSA Aaron Hotchner.

The man effortlessly oozed masculinity. His solid 6’2” stature framed perfectly in his tailored suits made many mouths water at the sight, daydreaming about the body that lay in waiting underneath. Not a day went by where at least one person hadn't drooled over his stubble-peppered jawline, claiming it was sharp enough to effortlessly cut glass. His signature stoic aura only emphasized his classic alpha male status to any passersby familiar or not to the man. There was no doubt to anyone's mind that Aaron Hotchner was what every man dreamed to be.

But standing in only his boxer briefs in front of his bedroom mirror, all Aaron could see was everything he deemed wasn't manly. His hips were too wide despite being surrounded by well-toned muscle after decades of running and UnSub chasing. His jawline, while covered in stubble not yet shaven, wasn't as sharp as many of his admirers claimed it was. His shoulders, while looking wide and commanding in a sharp suit, felt narrow and small bared for his room to see. His chest bulged in all the wrong ways despite the faint twin scars bordering the bottom of each toned pectoral. Despite the decades of time Aaron had worked to achieve his current form, he could still see her poking through every insecurity he kept hidden, taunting him with the same dark chocolate eyes that sent even the most hardened UnSubs cowering.

A scowl glared back at him in the mirror as he crossed his arms defensively across his chest. The phantom ache of utter wrongness seeping from every inch of his skin began to rapidly bubble to the surface. No matter how hard he tried to quell her from resurfacing, she always managed to seep through the cracks, blasting a neon sign to reveal all of his obvious flaws to the world and to himself. He couldn't seem to shake the ghost of her presence no matter how hard he tried. It was days like this that he wondered why he even tried so hard to be himself, to be comfortable in his own skin.

A tiny flash of silver caught his eye in the mirror before two familiar lanky arms enveloped him from behind, pulling Aaron out from his mental spiral. A calming warmth spread against his backside before the caress of soft lips peppered his shoulders.

“Keep glaring at the mirror like that and it might just confess.”

A soft huff of laughter escaped from Aaron's lips as his gaze left his own and settled on bright amber hues eyeing him lovingly from behind. His arms never left their tight embrace over his chest, but his stance softened significantly. He let his shoulders sag and gently leaned back into the comforting embrace of his husband.

Spencer gave Aaron's torso a soft squeeze, beginning a gentle sway of their body's to a tune unheard by Aaron but calming nonetheless.

They stayed tangled in front of the mirror until Aaron's arm finally fell from their tense state across his chest, turning his back to the mirror and nuzzling his face into the crook of his partner's neck. His hands settled on Spencer's hips as Spencer snaked his hands up his husband's torso before settling around Aaron's neck. They continued to sway to an unknown tune in the comfort of their room hidden safely away from the rest of the world. Aaron was so lost in Spencer's embrace that he hadn't realized he had begun to tremble until he heard his husband begin to gently soothe him.

“Shh, sweetheart. It's okay. I'm right here.” Aaron felt one of Spencer's hands begin to caress the hairs on his neck, causing his already shaky resolve to fracture further. His arms tightened around his husband briefly, desperately trying to cling to any semblance of his hardened stoic mask as he could.

“Aaron.” Spencer's hand left his hair to cup his face, pulling Aaron from the safety of his partner's neck. He kept his gaze down and away from the growing concern in his husband's eyes and tried desperately to reign in his emotions.

Spencer was having none of it. “Aaron,” he repeated, rubbing gentle circles on his husband's trembling cheek. “Honey, please. Talk to me.”

Aaron instinctively shook his head, not wanting to voice his thoughts. If he said them out loud, it meant admitting they were true. He desperately clung to the silence, wanting to cling to his masculinity as long as he could.

Aaron felt his husband sigh. He closed his eyes, mentally preparing for the worst: Spencer telling him he couldn't be with someone so unmanly as Aaron. Spencer withdrawing and leaving him to deal with his internal turmoil on his own. Spencer telling him to suck it up and deal with it like a real man. 

Deep down, Aaron knew these scenarios would never happen. Spencer had seen Aaron at his lowest many times over, had known his deepest secret longer than the rest of the team - save for Rossi who had known since Aaron had originally joined the FBI. They wouldn't have gotten married if Spencer hadn't been confident in their commitment to each other for the rest of their lives.

That still didn't stop Aaron's mind from jumping to the worst at every moment it could.

A gentle hand under his chin snapped Aaron's gaze to his husband's, finding nothing but concern and worry in the comforting amber eyes. Spencer's frown pulled his brow down in a way Aaron wanted to kiss away, instantly hating himself for putting that look on his face.

“Why don't you finish getting ready, okay?” Spencer's hand returned to his cheek, rubbing soothing patterns against the peaking stubble. “I'll be right here when you're ready.”

With a small nod, they untangled themselves from each other before Aaron walked over to his dresser, ignoring the mirror as much as he could. It only took a moment for him to slip on the thin shirt before turning back to their bed.

Spencer had already settled on his side of the bed, watching his partner with caring eyes. Aaron crossed the room quickly, turning off his bedside lamp before slipping under the covers and settling against his husband, holding him as close as he could without suffocating the man.

Aaron was grateful for the few moments Spencer allowed them to stay tightly embraced. He knew he would have to talk about it soon, but for a moment, he could lose himself in the embrace of the man he trusted everything to. He siphoned as much love and comfort he could before Spencer shifted, squirming his way out of Aaron's close embrace and forced their eyes to meet.

No words were spoken at first. Spencer had resumed the comforting patterns on Aaron’s cheek, providing a grounding presence to his inner turmoil. After a few more silent moments, Aaron closed his eyes and braced himself.

“She won’t leave me alone.”

Arms immediately wrapped around his shoulders, pulling Aaron close to the warmth of his husband’s chest. Tears he wasn’t previously aware of began to stream down his face as he took in a ragged breath, all of his pent up emotions flooding to the surface. It was as if the dam holding back all of his frustration broke at the contact. Silent sobs wracked his body as he felt the soothing hum of Spencer’s voice against the man’s chest.

“Shh, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” Spencer resumed carding gentle fingers through Aaron’s short locks. “She’s not here anymore, remember? She hasn’t been here in a long time. All I see is my amazing, strong, handsome, sexy husband.” A weak wet laugh cut through the quiet sobs. “I’m serious!” Spencer added with a smile in his voice. “Do you know how many men and women I catch eyeing you at the office? Hell, the amount of times I’ve caught Morgan eyeing you out of jealousy in the past two weeks and three days alone should be enough proof. That’s not even mentioning how many whispered conversations I overhear in the bullpen from JJ and Emily on what you look like underneath your suit on a weekly basis. JJ, who is perfectly happy in her marriage to Will, and Emily, who hungrily stares at every woman in a short skirt who walks past her desk. Rossi might seem like a neutral party, but anyone can see the smirk he hides in his morning cup of coffee when you open the door for a poor intern as they practically trip over themselves to follow. Garcia doesn’t even need an explanation. And don’t even get me started on the amount of LEOs I’ve caught eyeing you in your vest. It should be downright sinful to look as rugged as you do with your sleeves rolled up, gun in hand, commanding the scene with only a glare.” Spencer chuckled softly, scratching Aaron’s scalp. “That’s not even touching the amount of glazed over faces I spot when you talk. I’m sure you could get almost an entire room of highly decorated officers to do whatever you wanted with a single command. Any deity knows I would comply to your sultry voice in an instant.”

Laughter had rapidly replaced the sobs shaking Aaron’s body. He hid himself against his husband’s chest, covering his blushing cheeks from Spencer’s generous observations. “Spence,” he whined.

“I swear, Aaron, it’s a good thing you're married. Otherwise, you’d have people throwing themselves left and right at you. You’re the perfect male specimen. Hell, even I’m jealous of you, and I’m the one that married you!”

Aaron couldn’t hold back the eyeroll as he peaked out from his hiding spot. He felt his face split into a wide grin before replaying Spencer’s words in his head, his smile faltering. He glanced away, muttering softly under his breath, feeling himself tense all over again.

“Hey, hey. Don’t do that.” Spencer cupped his face with one hand and forced their eyes to meet. “What’s wrong, love?”

A sigh escaped Aaron’s lips before he whispered, “I’m not the perfect male specimen.”

Spencer’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

Aaron let out a dejected huff. “I’m not the perfect male specimen,” he repeated a little louder. “I can’t even-” His voice cracked. “I don’t have… I couldn’t…” Tears blurred his vision. “Haley had to… Jack isn't even-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Aaron.” Spencer propped himself up on one elbow, still cradling Aaron’s tear-stricken face with the other. “Whatever you’re thinking about stops right now. You, Aaron Thomas Hotchner-Reid, are that boy’s father. No amount of DNA tests or medical insemination procedures with sperm donors can tell you otherwise. You have raised Jack from the very beginning, and you have done it wonderfully. He is growing into such a bright and confident young man because you are showing him how. You are an amazing father, and I know for a fact that Jack wants to grow up to be just like you.”

Whatever argument Aaron had to counter died on his tongue as Spencer leaned down for a soft kiss. There was no heat or alternative motive behind the gesture. It stayed soft and gentle, soothing Aaron’s inner turmoil. Reaching up, he wrapped Spencer in his arms and pulled the man down to his chest, soaking in the love and care from the contact. They laid together, wrapped in each other’s arms and sharing gentle kisses until the last bit of tension left Aaron’s body. After one more press of their lips, Spencer scooted down his body, snuggling into his chest and resting his ear right over Aaron’s now calm heart.

“Now sleep,” Spencer muttered, already half asleep. “You need your energy to ward off all your admirers at the office and to take your husband on an extra long lunch break tomorrow.”

Aaron frowned. “What are we doing that requires a long lunch break?”

He felt Spencer’s sleepy mischievous smile against his chest “You’re going to prove to me just how manly you are.”

“Oh really?” Aaron couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “And how am I going to do that?”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with a few ideas.”

As Aaron kissed the top of his husband’s head and settled in for the night, he couldn’t help but think of all the ways he would prove Spencer right.

[observaureium]

hotch pines after reid quietly from a distance, but his heart seems to have buried itself in the ground and grown into the roots of a towering tree. it overwhelms him, in sheer volume, in weight. he's gotten so used to the yoke upon his shoulders he doesn't know how else to live, how to let it out

reid doesn't quite realize he's fostering his own nursery of plants until it's almost too late. the seeds of affection settling in as the distance between them grows farther. they talk outside of work less, if at all, and hotch pairs him away with the others out of fear. a fear of being vulnerable. of seeing the one you love the most so close yet so unobtainable. although if u rlly asked him, he'd say it was for professionalism.

fuck professionalism, reid thinks. but he doesn't say it. can't. what do you do when you love someone so much you're too afraid to show them?

[sirmatthew1972]

Bittersweet

Another KinkBingo inspired fic. So, this one goes from candy sweet to something darker and is basically an angst laced piece of smut. Beware though of the tags. This one is unhinged! Oh, crossing off the squares Aphrodisiacs, Workplace sex, Rough sex and Hair Pulling here... and that's my card halfway filled so far. Yay. Warnings unsub Spencer, serious consent issues, aphrodisiacs/drugs, manipulation, bottom Aaron, top Spencer, more tags on AO3 Teaser Walking into his office, Aaron closes the door behind him to shut out the bustle in the bullpen. He drops his go bag on the floor, then pulls back his chair to sit down behind his desk and dig into the pile of waiting reports. Wait. What's the glass jar filled with candy doing here? With a frown he looks at its contents; the small, red and white discs of sugar treats marked with adorable hearts, each single one of which is wrapped in cellophane. Huh. Maybe Garcia has been in here while he was out? The equally as colourful pen of bright pink and purple left forgotten atop of his waiting files seems to suggest so… and yet there's no gift card to go with the jar, not as far as he can see. Still, it's gotta be her, since it is either Garcia or some secret admirer. Yeah, as if. Read more on AO3

[cryptid420]

New fic!

Complete Work

•

Reid gets shot and Hotch responds by kissing him. The team joins forces to take care of him and as Spencer builds his friendship with Hotch he is left wondering- does Hotch feel as romantically close as he does?

This fic explores Reid's relationships with the whole team as they take care of him. Some pining, angst, hurt/comfort, and eventual smut and romance.

•

[neilgayman69]

What it takes for you to be honest (1/2) - hotchreid

(mentions some forms of torture/stabbing)

------------------

Hotch hated cases like this.

Cases were the victimology reminded him of people he knew.

He especially hated it when it was people he saw himself in.

In this case it was single dad's with sons.

Their unsub would drug them, tie them to chairs while their sons were at school, and beat them before stabbing them in the stomach.

Hotch had noticed Reid giving him concerned looks through the days they spent on the case, and it definitely didn't help his feelings about his subordinate. He just wanted to get it over with so he could go home and spend his few days off after trying to forget about this case and this unsub and Reid.

Luckily they caught him after only 4 days, and jessica was able to keep jack for a further two to give hotch time to relax afterwards.

Hotch always worried about being a good dad to jack, and this case and it's victimology only made him worry more.

He knew the victimology got to him because of his similarities, but he couldn't stand how this case somehow managed to emphasize his feelings for reid too.

Hell, some of the victims even looked like Hotch. With their dark hair and business suits, and the concerned Reid looks only got more intense with those victims.

God he was exhausted thinking of all this. He was glad to have the bed in front of him when he finally passed out.

Maybe it would be easier to ignore all this after some sleep.

_________________

He woke up slumped over, which was odd, he thought he got to his bed before he fell asleep. And god did his head hurt, but he didn't think he drank.

He tried to lift his head but it felt like it weighed a ton. Then he tried to lift his hands to see if maybe he fell out of bed, but they wouldn't move.

He was just able to open his eyes enough to see he was sitting up, and the tile under his feet. But when did he go to the kitchen?

"finally awake then, took you long enough. Figured id have to go ahead and stab you right now to get you up." Someone said.

Hotch could hardly even hear whoever this was in front of him. He felt like he was made of lead and couldn't even gather the strength to look up at them.

He felt a hand grab his face and suddenly he didn't need to try to be staring right at the person in front of him.

His name was Brian Evans. He had been a suspect in the case but they ruled him out since they had every reason to believe the man who was currently in jail was their unsub, rather than Brian.

Hotch had enough sense in that moment to feel like an idiot, and to feel the fear in his stomach.

He knew what Brian did, he read the files, saw the crime scene photos. All he could imagine while he stared at Brian was how he fit his victimology in every way.

"you thinking about how you know you're gonna die right now Aaron?" Brian sneered.

Hotch couldn't even formulate words in that moment. He tried to recall what he remembered from the toxicology report, what he could have been drugged with, but his mind was so clouded with fear and whatever was in his system that he couldn't even think of it.

He saw the bag on the floor, and wondered what was inside. Brian saw him look and grinned.

"ah yes, what am I going to do Aaron? You saw what I did to all the others. You know exactly what's coming."

Maybe he could reach his phone.

"will I start with pulling teeth, or will I just cut off some fingers?"

Maybe he could call someone.

"what if I just went straight ahead and stabbed you instead?"

Maybe he could call Spencer.

"yeah, I think I'll do that."

Spencer. He didn't want to leave him like this.

"how does that sound Aaron?"

He couldn't leave with this many regrets.

He hardly registered the knife being picked up till he saw the hilt poking out of his abdomen.

He slumped forward as it was pulled out of him, wondering if this was really how he was going to die.

All he could think about was Spencer. He wished he would just come through the door right now, gun in hand.

But life rarely works out how you want it to.

[everythingisgayandnothinghurts]

Any writing prompts? Just let me know if you want something short written

[reasonablerodents]

prompt: hotchreid kisses in the snow, but make it angsty

MORE ANGST. Always angst <3 I’m literally twirling my villainous moustache rn.

For One Snowblind Moment

Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Cheating, Angst

* * * * * * * * * *

“You never kiss me. I’d always thought that if I waited long enough you’d do it eventually, that you just needed some time to get used to whatever this was. Because I can’t really call it a relationship, can I? A relationship is the thing that you have with your wife.”

Spencer’s nose is bright pink from the cold as he stands at Hotch’s front door, arms tightly folded to preserve as much heat as he can. Snow falls around him, softly blanketing the street, catching on his eyelashes.

“You can’t be here, she’s only upstairs, she’ll hear you-“

“Maybe she should hear me. Maybe she should know how her husband’s failed at two relationships.”

Hotch feels like he’s going to throw up. The worst part is that Spencer’s completely right. He can’t argue with anything, knows that every single choice he’s made has been a bad one. He could never give people what they needed.

“Reid, don’t.”

“Reid?” Spencer repeats incredulously, eyebrows nearly disappearing into the brim of his knitted hat. “So you’ll only call me Spencer when we fuck, is that right?”

It feels so wrong hearing those words from Spencer’s mouth. He never swore unless he was in the heat of the moment, when words came second to the sensations overtaking him.

Or apparently, unless he was standing on Hotch’s doorstep in the snow, looking both furious and devastated.

Hotch doesn’t even reply, just places a hand on each shoulder and pulls him into a kiss. It’s passionate, fiery, but most of all, it’s angry.

Angry from Spencer’s side for obvious reasons, angry from Hotch’s because he should have done this long ago.

Angry, because both of them know it’s not going to fix anything, yet just for a moment, they can pretend it will.

[tobias-hankel]

HotchReid + Daddy kink + angst 🤣

I'm taking Hotchreid drabble requests in honor of the Hotchreid Zine release.

For more information about our Hotchreid Zine, make sure to check out Tumblr - all proceeds go to SharedHope, a charity to combat sex trafficking.

--

Cw nsfw, daddy kink, repressed memories, slight flashback, CSA mentioned

Hotch had mentioned it days ago – that he would like to try being called “daddy” in bed.

Spencer wasn’t sure what to think. It wasn’t really something he had thought about before. He knew the term “daddy” in bed was just one you called an authoritative, dominating, loving partner, similar to how “baby” didn’t actually mean infant, but something felt off to him about it. Nevertheless, he agreed to try. What could it hurt? He thought.

That is how the two got to where they were now. Spencer’s legs spread wide, with Hotch slotted so perfectly between them. He was so close – and he could tell Hotch was too but as Hotch sped up he said, “Does Daddy’s big cock feel good inside you?”

“Daddy…”

Something inside Spencer’s chest hurt as the word echoed around in his head but Hotch didn’t notice and kept going.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good around Daddy~”

“Daddy loves you, you know that?”

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, trying to make the memories go away. He wasn’t here. It was just Hotch.

Hotch picked up the pace, “Tell Daddy how much you like it~”

Something inside Spencer’s head cried out, “Daddy, stop! It hurts! Stop!” Spencer wasn’t sure when his thoughts turned to real life screams, but Hotch was off him and off the bed.

He grabbed the sheet and roughly tied it around his waist, “Spencer? Spencer, you’re safe. Open your eyes, please.” Hotch said, not daring to touch the young man who seemed to be fighting a ghost. Or a memory, Hotch’s mind supplied and what was happening suddenly made sense. Rossi had mentioned to him after the Riley Jenkins case that Spencer showed signs of sexual abuse by the hands of his father, but that Spencer had repressed the memories. The term “daddy” during sex must have been too much.

Spencer opened his eyes and tried to relax. He didn’t understand why he freaked out like that, but his heart was still pounding in his chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t know what happened.”

Hotch slowly moved to sit on the edge of the bed, “You don’t remember what made you start screaming?”

Spencer thought for a moment before shaking his head no. His repressed memories surfaced only for a moment but seemed to have buried themselves back in his impressive mind again.

Hotch’s heart hurt at the realization. “It’s okay, Spencer. We will figure this out together, alright?”

“Alright…”

[jareaulover]

If I Can't Have You (Hotchreid Fanfic, Chaper 2)

Description: Aaron and Spencer's first encounter is explored, and the unsub reaches out to Spencer.

Notes: This chapter includes some gore, so please heed that warning

Previous Chapter

Full chapter under the cut

or

read on AO3

“When was the last time that you saw your husband, Mrs. Skinner?” Tara asked the woman sitting on the couch. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the tissue in her hand.

“Um, we came down the elevator. I went to talk to the man at the counter,” She wiped some more tears, a sob escaped her lips, “Um, I’m sorry, some of Artie’s clothes were missing when we came back from breakfast.” She explained. Tara nodded.

“Can you tell me what clothes were taken?”

“Yes, yes, a, uh, white button up… I think he was missing a tie as well...” She sniffled again.

“When did you realize he was missing?” Tara asked

“The man told me they would check the security cameras in our hall and told us to make a police report. I turned around to get back to him and… and he was gone. I looked everywhere and… That’s when I called him and I found his phone on the floor and…” She sobbed again, burying her face in her hands.

“Was there anyone else in the lobby? Anyone who looked suspicious?” Tara offered her some more tissues.

“No, no I don’t think so… I didn’t… I wasn’t paying attention.” She sobbed harder. Tara squeezed the woman’s hand.

“My team and I are very good at what we do. We will find your husband.” She said. The woman looked up at her.

“Please, Dr. Lewis, please find him…” Tara stood up,

“We will, would you like me to have an officer drive you home?” The woman nodded. Tara walked her out and spoke to one of the officers before going to the conference room.

“The wife said that some of his clothes were missing when they got back to the hotel room. The unsub could’ve taken them beforehand.” Tara told the team.

“Did she say what clothes were taken?” JJ asked.

“A white button up, and a tie.” Tara said. 

“The same thing the other victims were found in… Did any of them report clothes being taken before the abduction?” Emily asked.

“Joshua Davids, the first victim, reported a break in a few days before his abduction, but he said he wasn’t sure that anything was taken.” Spencer started, “Second victim, Alexander Fairburn, didn’t make any reports and neither did the third victim, Frank Eccelstone.” He continued.

“Well, it's possible the unsub took the clothes that he was going to put them in beforehand, but why? It's such a big risk.” Emily pointed, “Has the hotel sent over the security camera footage?” 

“When they looked they found that all the files had been erased. Garcia is working to see if she can recover them.” Tara explained.

“Well, then, he must be pretty tech savvy.” JJ said. The rest of the team nodded, “Spence, did you get anything from the geographical profile?” she said, looking at the man who sat beside her.

“He abducted all of his victims from different hotels in different parts of town… But each was found within a mile of a library.” Spencer said. He looked at the crime scene photos again.

“Okay, well so far we’ve profiled that he is angry that he can’t perform with these men, which is why he stabs them… But then he feels remorse and he dresses them up in nice clothes, but why does he keep them for a whole week?” Emily said.

“Well, we know he keeps them alive so… Maybe he’s courting them?” Tara said, “And maybe if they don’t meet his criteria by a certain point, he kills them.” She explained further.

“What’s his criteria, though? And what’s the significance of the library?” 

“What if the man he truly wants works at a library, or frequents the libraries in town?” Spencer said, “We need to get Garcia to compile a list of male librarians, students, and professors who may’ve been to these libraries. We can narrow it down to people who match the general description of the victims and then we have a list of the possible true target.” He finished. Derek was already dialing Penelope. 

While the rest of the team talked to her, Spencer stood up and left the conference room. As soon as he did, Aaron followed him. He hadn’t had a chance to really talk to Reid yet and even though he didn’t want to confront his feelings, he felt a pull to the professor that he couldn’t explain.

“Is everything alright, Reid?” Aaron asked, watching as the younger man sat in a chair outside the conference room.

“I- Have you looked at the victims?” Spencer asked. Aaron nodded, signaling for Spencer to continue, “They’re all in their early 30s, tall, slim… They have medium length brown hair and…”

“They all look like you.” Aaron finished Reid’s sentence.

“Yeah and… I have cards at all of those libraries.” Reid said. Aaron took a deep breath.

“We should tell the others.”

“No- I mean, not yet… It could be a coincidence… Let's just wait a bit and if anything else connects to me then we can tell them.” Reid said, looking at Aaron with a pleading expression. Aaron nodded.

“Okay, but you and I will work this angle, okay?” 

“Yeah, got it.” 

“Why don’t you go home and get some rest. It’s getting late and don’t you have an early class?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, standing and starting to leave the department.

“Wait, do you need a ride?” Aaron asked. Spencer paused and turned to look at the older man. They both stared at each other for a moment, Aaron felt  heat rush to his face.

“No… Not this time.” Spencer said before he was gone

---

The team had just finished up with the LDSK case in Illinois. It had been a lot for the whole team, but especially for Spencer and Aaron. Aaron knew that Spencer understood why everything had happened the way that it did, but he couldn’t help himself from feeling bad.

“Do you want a ride home?” Aaron asked, as he and Spencer walked to the elevators. Spencer thought for a moment, he really didn’t want to ride the metro this late, and it would be faster for Aaron to drive him, so he looked at his boss.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate that.” Spencer said, his boss gave him a smile and Spencer felt as if he may melt. He’d had a crush on the older Agent ever since he joined the BAU, but he knew he could never act on it.

“Okay.” Aaron said, gripping his go bag tighter, “Reid, I just wanted to… I’m sorry, really, I-”

“It’s okay, Hotch, no hard feelings. You did what you had to do.” Spencer said, doing his best to reassure Aaron.

“I know, and… Well, I just hope that you aren’t in too much pain.” Aaron looked at Spencer, who gave him a reassuring smile.

“It’s not that bad, I’ve had worse.” Spencer said, just as the elevator doors opened. Aaron led Spencer to his car and opened the back so they could put their bags in. 

The Drive to Spencer’s apartment was filled with a comfortable silence and the soft sound of the radio. Spencer looked out the window at the buildings that passed. As they pulled up to his apartment, Spencer unbuckled and turned to grab his bag out of the back. As soon as he did, he winced from the pain coursing through his ribs.

“Shit…” He murmured softly, turning back around. Aaron noticed this. He pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park.

“Here, I’ll get it.” He said, reaching back and getting Spencer’s bag out for him, “I’ll walk you to your apartment.” Aaron offered. Spencer bit his lip and nodded.

“Okay.” He murmured, getting out of the car. Aaron followed suit and followed the younger man up to his apartment. Spencer unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing Aaron to enter before him. 

“Your place is nice.” Aaron said, “Um, where should I put this?” He gestured to the bag in his hand.

“Oh, you can set it by the door there.” Spencer said. Aaron dropped the bag in the spot indicated.

“Do you need anything else? I could get your pain meds for you or-”

“Its alright, Aaron, I’m fine.” Spencer said. Aaron nodded, but he noticed how Spencer was now holding himself, as if in a lot of pain.

“Can- I mean, do you mind showing me?” Aaron asked, his voice quieter than it had been before. Spencer’s face flushed, but he lifted his shirt to show his bruise covered torso. Aaron winced.

“It, um, it hurts pretty bad.” Spencer whispered. Aaron reached toward the younger agent before he could stop himself and gently caressed the man’s skin. Spencer sighed, Aaron’s cold hands provided some relief from the hot pain he felt. Aaron moved closer, running his hands to the doctor’s sides and then rested them on his hips. Spencer let his shirt drop and he looked into Aaron’s eyes.

“Maybe… Maybe I could distract you from the pain.” Aaron whispered. The two stared at each other for a silent moment before they were both leaning in for a tentative kiss. It was slow, but deliberate. Aaron pulled Spencer closer to him and Spencer relaxed into the kiss. They pulled apart when the need for air grew stronger than the need for each other.

“I- I would like that.” Spencer murmured.

---

Spencer entered his apartment, alone. He hadn’t stopped thinking about Aaron his whole way home. He hadn’t thought about… their first time in so long and it made him want to run back to the police station and take the older Agent right then and there. Part of him wished that he had stayed, that he had admitted to having feelings for Aaron, but it was too late for that.

He set his messenger bag down on the counter and began to fix himself a cup of coffee. As it brewed, he moved to his fridge, inspecting its contents. There wasn’t much, and he figured he would need to do a grocery run soon. He pulled out some lunch meat and he ate a couple of pieces. In the middle of one piece, his phone buzzed, so he sat his snack down to check the email he had just received.

From: bspooner@university.edu 

Subject: Project due Monday

Hey, Doctor Reid, So about that project that’s due next Monday…t I’ve been super confused on it since the day we got it. Can we meet later in the week to discuss it? Maybe after class on Thurs? Let me know.

Thanks, Barry Spooner.

Spencer hummed, thinking ahead. This case was taking a lot of effort, but he still had students to help. He quickly typed a reply, scheduling the meeting for the day the student had requested. He set his phone down and began preparing his cup of coffee.

---

Back at the precinct, Aaron was reading over some of the files Garcia had sent over on the students, librarians, and professors. He couldn’t stop thinking of the conversation with Spencer, though. The victims all did bear a striking resemblance to the man. He set the files down and dialed Garcia again.

“All the answers you could need are just a click away, so direct my clicks to suit your needs.” Came the dramatic voice of Penelope.

“Listen, I need you to get a list of all of Spencer’s students, past and present.” Aaron said, hoping none of the others would come in and hear the conversation.

“Okay, its a long list… Is there anything to narrow this down?”

“Well, look at males… Are there any that are ages 25-30?”

“That does narrow it down a little, anything else?”

“Can you see if any of them have used any of the libraries near the crime scene?” He heard typing.

“You’ve got 60 names.” She said,

“Okay, send me those files.”

“You got it, boss. They’re sent.” She said before hanging up the phone. Aaron tucked his phone back in his pocket and began going through the files that she had sent over on his tablet. 

---

Aaron and Spencer were both staring at the ceiling, both trying to figure out what, exactly, they just did. They were both still trying to catch their breath a little bit and it was clear that things were very different between them now. Aaron was the first to break the silence.

“That was… Wow…” He murmured. Spencer laughed a bit and looked over to the older man,

“Yeah… Wow… We- We can never tell anyone about this.” Spencer said, Aaron looked at him,

“Yeah, no… This could… it would be bad for both of us.” Aaron said, sitting up. Spencer didn’t think he could sit up if he tried. There was still so much pain in his ribs, even though Aaron had been slow and taken care not to irritate his injury.

“Are you… I mean, you have to get home, right?” Spencer said, hoping that his disappointment wasn’t obvious. Aaron nodded and began gathering his clothes together.

“Yeah, uh, I… Well, we have work tomorrow and I’ll need clothes and a shower and… Well…” Spencer nodded, watching as Aaron pulled his clothes back on. Part of Spencer wanted to beg the older man to stay and hold him and wake up with him and have breakfast and- Spencer shook his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He offered instead, Aaron turned to look at him, the absolutely beautiful man who was leaning up on his elbows. The sheets covered his bottom half, but his pale bruised skin was on display. Aaron wanted nothing more than to go back and leave some more bruises on the younger man’s neck, preferably using his own mouth, but he pushed the thought away.

“Of course.” Aaron said, “See you tomorrow.” and then he was gone. Spencer heard the door of his apartment shut and he considered locking it, but the pain in his body stopped him and he was soon asleep.

---

On Tuesday, Spencer woke up at 7 am. His first class started at 9 am. He took a quick shower and brushed his teeth, then moved on to getting coffee made, then he grabbed a banana and his coffee cup and he was out the door by 7:45. 

Spencer lived only a 20 minute walk from campus, so that’s what he chose to do for the day. It would give him time to think about the case that he was helping on. Spencer thought about the current victim… He felt like he should be doing more to find the man, but he also knew that the 7 best profilers were on the case. 

He approached the building where his classroom resided, and he saw a box sitting on the bench close to the door. He looked around for anyone who could’ve left it and he thought maybe he should turn it in to the lost and found, but then he say his name scrawled on a piece of paper taped to the top. He picked up the box and carried it back to his classroom.

Once in the safety of his classroom, Spencer carefully opened the box to find a deep red tie inside under another note. The note was folded into the shape of a heart  and done on a deep red paper to match the tie. Because of the case, he grabbed some exam gloves out of his desk drawer and put them on before lifting the note and carefully unfolding it.

Spencer,

I hope you like the gift that I got you. Arthur sure doesn’t need it anymore. He didn’t work out, he was too dim, just like the others. Nowhere near as smart as you. I hope you wear this tie when we meet.

Xoxo

Spencer’s eyes widened and he set the note aside. He moved the tie out of the box and lifted some of the stuffing out, as soon as he did he realized what exactly it was that Arthur apparently didn’t need anymore. Inside the box was a human heart.

Spencer immediatly removed the gloves and called Aaron.

“Hotch?” Spencer asked, as soon as he answered.

“Yeah? Is everything okay?” 

“No, no you need to get down here and… Oh god… The unsub sent me a heart in a box.” Spencer said, choking a bit on his words.

“We’re on our way.” Aaron said, quickly ending the call. Spencer pulled out his phone and sent an email to his students, informing them that class for today would be canceled

.Next Chapter

[starzzyeyed]

For the ask hug game- 7 with Hotchreid? 🥺🥺

Hi!! Thank you for sending this ask, I was so excited to see it in my inbox so soon after I asked for requests <3

I hope you don't mind a little angst with your hugs, it would appear I'm in an angsty mood right now as everything I try to write ends up with some form of sad Spencer. But don't worry, Hotch is there to make it all okay again <3

7 - Hug from behind

He knows from the moment someone knocks on his office door that it’s going to be Spencer.

It doesn’t take a profiler to see how hard Gideon’s resignation has hit the younger man, and as soon as the door is shut behind him, Aaron is on his feet, going over to the window to close the blinds and give them a little more privacy.

Spencer’s facing away from him when he turns back around; his eyes fixed on the desk where Aaron had been sat a few moments ago, but the older man can see the tears that are gathering in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall at any minute.

Aaron walks over to his partner slowly, approaching him from behind until he’s close enough to hear the sharp intakes of breath as the younger man tries his best not to break down in tears. His arms are hanging loosely by his sides when Aaron gets close enough to encircle him in a hug, and Spencer jumps when he feels the hands on his waist, familiar as they are, but he doesn’t turn to face the person they belong to.

He’s not sure he could even if he wants to.

“Spencer,” the person’s voice says, kind as always, and it’s all Spencer can do to swallow down the sob he feels rising in his throat, tilting his head slightly further forwards until his chin is almost resting on his chest, as though avoiding Aaron’s gaze will prevent his lover from being able to read him.

As if that’s ever worked in the past.

If he’s being honest with himself, Spencer’s not sure he even wants it to work.

“It’s not your fault.”

Spencer doesn’t know if Aaron is trying to convince him or himself, but either way, the sob that he’d done his best to swallow down rises in his throat again, this time breaking free along with a sudden burst of tears.

He hears Aaron cursing quietly under his breath, no doubt wishing they were somewhere slightly more private than his office, although the blinds being closed not only block out the view of them together, but also lessen the chances of anyone coming up and knocking; an unspoken signal not to disturb whoever’s inside with Hotch.

Even if the blinds were open and they were on display for everyone in the bullpen though, Spencer’s pretty sure no one would knock unless it was essential.

Not after what’s happened.

He feels Aaron’s hands encircle his waist further, until his arms are folded across each other over Spencer’s belly and the two men are pressed chest to back, Aaron’s chin resting on the younger man’s shoulder.

It makes Spencer smile despite the tears still streaming down his cheeks; Aaron knows how much he adores being hugged from behind, and the fact that he’s chosen now to do so, when he knows how much Spencer will appreciate being able to be hugged without having to show his face, enables Spencer to slowly but surely relax back into the strong body behind him.

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” he finally manages, his voice coming out as little more than a rough whisper, but he knows Aaron heard him from the way the arms around his waist tighten, quickly followed by the kiss that’s pressed into the fabric of his cardigan where it covers his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Aaron replies, and he sounds so certain that for a moment, Spencer can’t find a response to dismiss what he’s saying. “Jason has… he’s always been a bit eccentric. It’s what makes him good at the job, but it also has its downsides, and being… unreliable, especially when it comes to peoples emotional needs, is one of those downsides.”

Spencer doesn’t respond but Aaron doesn’t need him to; he’s heard what is being said, and that’s more than enough.

“I’m sorry he didn’t come to say goodbye to you personally. I’m sorry he didn’t think before he acted, but I promise, Spencer, you did not do anything wrong.”

There’s a few moments of silence before, slowly, Spencer nods.

“If you’re sure,” he mumbles eventually, lifting his head slightly so that he can look back over his right shoulder to where he knows Aaron’s face is.

“I’m positive,” Aaron replies, and Spencer nods again as much as he can with his neck bent at such an awkward angle. He sees the hint of a smile on Aaron’s face before a gentle kiss is being pressed against his lips, one that he returns almost desperately, anything to feel something other than how confused and heartbroken his mentor’s resignation has left him feeling.

He won’t bounce back immediately, and in a minute their solace will be broken when they have to go back to work, but right now, with Aaron’s arms wrapped around him from behind and his back pressed firmly against his partner’s chest, Spencer feels the lightest he has since he first found that note in Gideon’s cabin.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Dual Correspondence

Pairing: HotchReid

Summary: Sequel to Correspondence, picking up where we left off. Spencer has moved in with Aaron and Jack, and everything is perfect. Until it’s not. But then it is again. And up and down they go, on a rollercoaster filled with every twist and turn that life can throw at them. Navigating such obstacles isn’t easy, or fair, with difficult foes and situations that test everything they are and dream to be together. But the thing about trying to be with someone you love through it all, is that sooner or later you realize the hard times don’t have to be conquered alone. 

Important Tags: established relationship, timeframe around season 8-9, self beta'd, shameless use of ‘The Five Love Languages’ as a theme, relationship problems and solutions, exploration of family dynamics, angst, fluff, sex, peril, swoon-worthy life events. (Do I have to say it? You all knew it was coming.)

CW: prominent age difference, probably some cursing let’s be honest, show-typical violence and psychopathology, sharps and guns at some point, discussions of relationships that get pretty deep and personal, talks of PTSD, mental illness (specifically Spencer’s mom), death (Haley’s) and mourning, personal boundaries (physical, emotional, and sexual), some miscommunication in places. But also mentions of marriage, adoption, families and all the shapes and sizes they come in. Finally, sexy times: explicit sexual content in certain chapters. More/specific CW/TW will be added as the story is written.

Posting Date: 04/01/2023 (updates every 1st of the month)

Spotify (still under construction) | Pinterest (spoilers) | Ao3 link (TBA)

((See below for links and tag list, send me a message/ask/rb comment if you want to be added))

Snippet Previews

Part 01 (Found Family vibes)

Chapters Links!

Chapter 01, 

FANART/ Additional Moodboards

((coming soon))

Tagged list so far: @spencehotchner @ssa-sarahsunshine @gothamapologist @reidology @marsjareau @dragon-snaps-fandom @emmyraebird @just-an-emo-rat @aaron-hotchner187 @dk18077 @more-heid-pls @fakin-it-til-i-make-it @merpancake  @derekluvbot  @transpenelope  @thaddeusly @whyareusernamessohardtomakeup @stilin-ski​ 

[unmitigatedsuperiority]

In celebration of my first ever multi-chapter fic boundless having been completed, I am dedicating the month of October to fulfilling fic prompts/requests: Promptober!

Submit your prompts and I'll write a blurb/short one shot—It's a request extravaganza, folks!

Rules: Send in your prompts (so as long they follow my request guidelines) and I'll write them. Simple as that! Deadline: Last day I'll accept prompts is October 31st

I'm attaching my request guidelines below the readmore as well.

Happy requesting! :)

Favorite things to write are in italics things i will write:

ships: i'm open to most ships but here are some faves: ralvez, penemily, temily, tenelope, jenelope, jemily, moreid, hotchreid, spencer x reader, penelope x reader, emily x reader, tara x reader. willing to consider garvez and morcia. i will also write gen!fic and platonic requests for all characters :)

subjects: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst w/ a happy or bittersweet ending

things i will NOT write:

ships: hotchniss, jeid

subjects: pregnancy, engagement/marriage, dad!spencer or any other parent!character (unless they are already a parent eg. hotch), major character death, relationship with a minor, age regression. i am currently NOT accepting smut prompts

disclaimer: i write for myself first and foremost. while i love receiving prompts and do prioritize answering them, i reserve the right to not write blurbs/fics for any prompt or subject that makes me uncomfortable for any reason.

~

tagging my taglist in case y'all are interested: @everyonesfavoritepipecleaner @ropoto @dalexandriag16 @reidslibrarybook @reidselle @serenity-lattes @shinebrightlikeafanbase @spencerssweatervests @crynroom @samuel-de-champagne-problems @sugasthreedollarkookie @reidsbookclub @liltimmyst @hayleyarts @navs-bhat @mikaylafairy @honeydjarin

[sirmatthew1972]

Forever: The Double Edged Sword

Summary To a centuries old immortal man like Lord Hotchner time doesn't hold meaning. Only the sword, and keeping his head. But what about his foolish heart? Why can't he stop it from falling for mortal souls? From breaking? Because here is, counting every agonizing second since Spencer got shot. Desperate for him to wake. Teaser Time. Minutes, hours and days. It's been a long while since Lord Hotchner has contemplated the concept of the clock. How it affects those around him. Mortal souls unaware of what he is. How old he is beyond the facade of a man in his forties. Why he moves on looking the same, defiant of age. Always. Living by a far different schedule than they do… must, since they have no time to waste. No, they live in the now. By the clock. Changing with the years and with age. Living through so many firsts. Adventures. Lovers. Children. Oh, the joy of those!

They are the kind of memories he's long ago left behind in his so extensive past. Some of which he has forgotten, others he will always cherish despite the pain held within. Yeah, his first grey hairs discovered are also his last ones to grow out. His firstborn son lies dead and buried, so his many times down grandchildren can run around in a changed world. In a century when the new land America isn't that anymore to the people around him. When they, unlike him, can but read about the Mayflower or the Civil War or past presidents in books…

Read more on AO3

[reidhotch]

the robbers and the thieves pt. 1

He couldn't let it go. He wouldn't stop, not until he knew he'd stopped them. Until he kept his promise.

AKA we all know Hotch would never be able to let go of the Winchester case. He'd have to solve it. This is a moment of that ft. hotchreid and Spencer loving Hotch through his angst.

Currently only 1 part, but I'm planning on adding more.

You can read part 1 on Ao3 here.

~000~

It happened again. They were right there, again. And they got away. Again.  

He knew he couldn’t spend any more time on the case. The Bureau had already made that clear- 

“We don’t have the resources, Aaron.” 

“Erin, he’s devolving. Something happened six months ago that left him in a tailspin. He’s more dangerous than he’s ever been, and there’s going to be a trail of bodies from one coast to the other unless we put our all into finding him.”

“It’s been four months since the last body was found, and it’s been over six weeks since the last confirmed sighting. There’s nothing, Aaron. The Winchesters are gone, again. I’m sorry, but my hands are tied. The Director wants your team focusing on the cases that have active leads.”   

She was right, and he knew it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t keep him awake at night. 

Megan Masters. That’s what kept him awake at night. 

She was 21 years old when she died. From Andover, Massachusetts, and attending a local college, where she majored in Linguistics. She disappeared in December of 2005, and her body was found in April of 2006. She’d been badly beaten and stabbed before she was pushed out the third story window of an abandoned warehouse. According to the medical examiner, she was conscious the entire time. She died cold, alone, scared and in pain. 

And the Winchester brothers killed her. It was his first case as Unit Chief. He couldn’t let it go. 

They’d get close- so close, every time. The profile was all over the place, it always had been, but that became a profile in itself. The Winchester’s- a family sect of serial killers, first with John and Dean, father and son. Then John dropped off the map. Completely off the grid, no trace. Then Sam Winchester, Dean’s younger brother, murdered his girlfriend, attempted to burn down his apartment, and fled from his college town life at Stanford University. That was just the beginning.

Two months later, Megan “Meg” Masters went missing. 6 years later, they were no closer to catching her murderers. 

6 years later, and there were over 25 more victims associated with the Winchesters. One of which was SA Victor Henrikson. Aaron was who sent him to interview the Winchesters in Colorado. When they made their escape, they left him bloodied in a cell, but alive, when they lit the station on fire. The medical examiner said the smoke killed him before the flames did. Aaron supposed that was a small grace in all the horror. 

The Winchesters were in the wind, again. Strauss was right, he knew it, but he didn’t have to like it. And he didn’t have to stop working the case on his own time. So that’s what he did, every night, for the last two weeks. 

It’s what he was doing now- standing in his office, suit jacket and tie long discarded. He’d unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, rolled up the sleeves, and leaned against his desk, staring at the wall in front of him. The wall he’d covered with six years of case details, geographical profiles, behavioral breakdowns, and personal history. 

He was running out of space. 

That was how Spencer found him. Staring at that wall, at the photo of Dean Winchester from the most recent sighting- somewhere near Omaha, walking all too casually to the ‘67 Impala that had become synonymous with the Winchesters- tossing and catching the stress ball Dave got him after Colorado when he shattered a set of whiskey glasses as grief and guilt ate him alive. 

“Aaron.” Spencer was, as always, patient and understanding with him. With this case. He was there when they got away the first time. He’s seen every blow Hotch took with this case. He’d taken most of them too. “Aaron,” He spoke a little louder this time, and Hotch realized he hadn’t answered, hadn’t even acknowledged the younger man standing in his doorway. He hummed in response. “It’s getting late.” Reid moved closer, quiet steps finally breaking his focus. 

“What time is it?” He asked, turning his gaze away from the wall. He tried not to notice the concern lining Spencer’s face when he glanced at him before checking the clock above his head. 10:45 PM. He was supposed to leave at 7 at the latest. He’d promised. “Spencer, I’m-”

“Don’t, Aaron. It’s okay.” Reid joined him at his desk, standing between his legs and stepping close. “The Winchester’s are in the wind, Aaron.”

“I know-” Spencer shushed him gently.

“They’ll show back up. They always do. And we’ll be ready. Garcia has all her systems flagging for their usual signs. We have eyes across the country looking for any indicators. They won’t get away this time.” He closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth of Spencer’s hands moving up his chest, onto his neck, then resting gently on his face, cupping his cheeks softly. His thumb grazed his cheekbone, back and forth. Aaron sighed. 

“I promised them.” He muttered. “Her parents, Meg’s parents. I promised them I’d catch the men who did this to their daughter, and six years later, I still haven’t done that. I haven’t kept that promise.” He opened his eyes, finally looking directly at Spencer. “I’m no closer to catching Sam and Dean Winchester than I was back then.”

“We’ve had them in custody before, Aaron-”

“And Victor Henrikson died trying to bring them in-”

“And that was horrible. What happened in Colorado was horrible. But the Winchesters have changed since then, and we’ve learned more since then. You were right when you talked to Strauss, something changed. Something happened. They’re devolving, and that’s how we get them. That’s how we put them away, this time for good. But this?” Spencer gestured around his office. “This doesn’t help, Aaron. It doesn’t get us any closer to catching them. Obsessing over this case will kill you if you let it, and I-” He paused, swallowing heavily. “I’m worried about you. I’m worried about what this case will do to you. This is the third time this month-”

“I’m so sorry, Spencer-”

“Stop, that’s not.” He sighed. “I’m not upset with you. I’ve done it too, we all have-” Hotch knows he’s right, that they all have done this at one point or another- come home late, worked a case too hard, refused to let up until they were forced to- but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel like shit about it every time he breaks a promise to Spencer. He’d promised he’d be home on time. That he’d be there at Jack’s bedtime, that he’d have dinner with Spencer and Jack and Jess. That they’d have a normal evening, and then it was 10:45, and Spence was knocking softly at his office door wearing jeans and one of Hotch’s old FBI crewneck sweaters. “Hey.” 

He looked up, sighing softly. “I know. You’re right. And I’m still sorry about tonight.”

“I know.” Spencer smiled, gently knocking their foreheads together. “And I still forgive you.” He closed the gap between them, chastely brushing his lips against Reid’s, and allowed himself to smile. “Have you eaten?” 

“No,” He admits. “I didn’t even realize the time until you walked in.”

“I ate with Jack and Jess,” Reid says, and he tries to ignore the flash of guilt that shoots up his spine. “But I could eat again. It was late when Jess and I finished talking, so she decided to stay over.” Hotch knows that mischievous glint in Spencer’s eye all too well, and he can’t help but smile in return. “What do you think about a quick dinner date at that new Korean BBQ place around the block? They’re open until 1 AM.” 

“I think that sounds amazing.”

“Good. Get your stuff, I’ll meet you at the elevators.” One last kiss, and Spencer is moving across the room again. 

“Spence-” Hotch stops him, smile lingering. 

“Yeah?” He answers, and he briefly thinks the soft golden lighting of his desk lamp will always make Spencer look utterly ethereal, like some kind of angel that stepped directly into his path when he most needed him. He'd never believed in things like angels, but here, looking at the man he loved- he understood why people believed.

“I love you.” The smile he received in response always took his breath away.

“I love you too.” 

[neilgayman69]

Hotchreid fics where the unsub targets queer men and finds out either one or both of them are gay does something specific for my soul.

It just adds an extra layer of angst.

So I'm writing one.