#how dare they leave her out of the trailer honestly

[andanewday]

michelle nolden - heartland s16e06

[sugarcoatedstarkey]

hate sex. rafe or drew idc, u have total creative freedom w my suggestion!

Hate Sex

Pairing - Drew Starkey x costar!reader

Summary - good old hate sex.

Warnings - sexual intercourse, fingering, language, choking, name calling. 18+

The anger bubbled in your chest, rising up your neck leaving behind a dark pink tinge to your skin. You had never let Drew get to you this bad before, you were pulling at the roots of your hair just thinking about his punchable but good looking face.

“Breath Y/n” your friend stated, she had hidden herself behind the very small table in your trailer. She was quite frightened when you let your anger out.

She jumped halfway into the air when you threw your phone at the floor, shattering the screen in the process.

“Now look what that fucker has made me do!” You all but screeched, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go and speak to him, how DARE he talk about you like that in an interview.

“Oh no no no, you can’t go speaking to him when you're this angry! He didn’t do anything wrong!” Your friend shouted, slamming her palm over her mouth when she realized what she let slip.

“How could you side with him?!”

“Oh come off it y/n, he said lovely things about you!”

“All very untrue things! He made me look like some weak girl who was falling at his knees.. no you know what I’m leaving!”

Before your friend could stop you, you darted out the trailer door and sprinted for him. Exactly 23 steps later your fist pounded at his trailer, you didn’t wait for him to answer and stormed in.

Drew stood in the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower half, steam filling the very small shower. Both Chase and Austin sat on the couch staring at you with wide eyes, the sound of the PlayStation in the background echoed through the deafening silence from the four of you.

“What’s up y/n?” Drew sang, giving you his famous boy next door grin. You just wanted to rip his face off but also kiss his face off.

“How dare you?!” You yelled, Drew’s eyes creased together in the middle as he looked at you in confusion. “Want to enlighten me on what I’ve done now sweetcheeks?” He chuckled, stepping out of the bathroom and closing the door. Your eyes dropped for only a moment when a bead of water ran down his chest and dissolved into the towel.

He gave you a knowing look that you shook off. “What’s all that shit you said in the interview?” You questioned, he let out a throaty laugh. Almost a cackle. This had you wild, you stormed towards him with curled fists at your side. “Don’t laugh! You made me out to be some weak girl, talking about how I’m the main person who laughs at your jokes on set, that I always get emotional at old couples!” You shouted, the old couple remark was true.

You did get emotional BUT that didn’t give him the right to tell people, it’s your personal life, personality. They get what they get, they don’t need to know the deeper version of you.

“Y/n, Come on. I wasn’t doing it out of spite” he stated, he was frustrated now. You always jump on him the second you can, yelling down his throat and making him feel like everything he does is wrong. “I honestly don’t give a shit! Don’t talk about me in interviews again!”

He rolled his eyes and looked over your shoulder at your friends, they had both gotten up ready to bounce. They hated being around when the two of you fought.

“Don’t roll your eyes! God! Drew you're so frustrating!”

“Me?! Me, frustrating? You talk some shit y/n, your always down my throat”

“Because you're always being so difficult!”

“Maybe you should lighten up a little and realize I’m a decent human being and your just angry at the world”

“Fuck you Drew”

“No, fuck you”

It happens in a split second, you're both reaching for each other. Your lips hastily press together, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. His hands cup your jaw, your tongues fight with one another. Even kissing, you have to be fighting.

“That’s our que” you heard from behind you, but you didn’t want to pull away. One of his hands drops from your face, grasping onto your waist he pulls you closer to his body.

“You're still annoying” you breathe, his lips trail down your neck. Sucking at the flesh between your collarbone and throat. Your nails scratched down the length of his back leaving deep red lines.

“You're still a bitch” he bit, pushing you towards the couch. Your back met the cushion with a thump, his body trailed behind closely. Parting your legs so he could slot between them.

You had forgotten he was only in a towel, which now parted giving you the most glorious view of his thick hard cock. “Shit” you whined, practically forcing his body down on yours. His hands bunched up your dress to expose your cotton thong, his cock nudged at your pussy.

“How can someone so annoying be blessed with such a perfect cock” you spoke, his chuckle was muffled by the skin of your chest.

“How can someone so frustrating be so fucking hot” he commented, his mouth left kisses along the apex of your chest. You pushed yourself to sit up, pulling the material of your dress over your head.

You now sat in just your panties, his hands palming at your breasts. “Fuck you” you moaned, his teeth pulling your hardened nub. Suckling at your nipple, while the other hand grabbed your ass cheek. “I’m getting their baby” he whispered, the pet name sending shivers down your spine.

“Touch me”.

His fingers dipped under the material of your panties, sliding his pointer and forefinger between your fold and back up to your clit. “Oh shit, yeah like that” you cried, grinding your pussy into his hand. Slipping his two fingers into your cunt, you bite down on his shoulder as he finger fucked you. Pressing the palm of his hand into your clit at the same time, sending your body into overdrive. “You like that? Of course the little bitch likes to be fingerbanged hm? Been thinking about these fingers inside of you huh?” He grunted, brows creased in the middle. He watched your face intently, the way your mouth dropped opened and you gasped for more breath.

“Answer me!”

“YES yes oh fuck yes! Wanted these fingers in me since I met you” you screamed, his dick twitching at your statement. Your moans bounced off the wall and you were sure everyone could hear.

He abruptly pulled his fingers out of you, a slur of protest fell from your lips. “What the fuck Drew?!”.

“Get up and sit on my cock, quit whining and do what I say for once you little slut”.

The vulgarity to his words had your insides fluttering like a damn school girl, pulling your panties down and straddling his hips.

Reaching between the two of you to grasp his cock, giving him a rough few tugs. “Fuck… what I’d do to have your pretty little mouth around my cock right now.” He groaned, his head arched against the backrest of the couch. You began to slide off him, his hands catching your hips before you could get on your knees.

“Right now I want your tight little cunt to sit on my cock, next time I’ll stuff your throat with my cock and make you eat the angry words that you constantly spit out”.

Your ears pricked up at the next part, unbothered by the way he spoke to you. “Fuck you Drew” you spat, his large hand held the base of his cock for you. The tip of his bright pink head nudged at your opening, you took him in painfully slow. Your eyes rolling back as his cock stretched you wide, your hands pressed against his chest for leverage. “Oh-h… oh” you cried, his cock buried deep within your walls.

He gives you a moment to adjust, eyes staring hard at your expressions. The moment your eyes reopened he was bringing your body up and down on him harshly, causing a string of curse words to slip from your mouth.

Your tits bounced in his face, you finally brought yourself out of the sex daze you had fallen into and moved your hips, grinding against him roughly.

Your fingers wrapped around the base of his throat, his eyes were wild. Dark and full of lust, watching you gnaw at your lip. “That’s it pretty girl, fuck my cock like its best goddamn cock you’ve ever had”.

Your nodding your head in agreement, “the best fucking cock, so big” you cried, unaware you had just agreed to him. You were so drunk on dick, you had forgotten how much he irritated you.

“That’s right, best goddamn cock you’ve had. Show me how much you love it” he ordered, and you obliged. Riding him like your life depended on it, throwing your head back. Your nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders, his fingers grabbing your waist tightly.

“Fuck! Just like that!” He groaned, his hands caressed your back. Ducking his head to envelope your nipple into his mouth. “Yes yes yes yes yes” you mumbled, your bodies had a light sheen of sweat to it. “Move” he order, pulling you up from his cock only to spin you around. Pushing your knees into the cushion of the couch and thrusting his cock back into you.

“SHIT!” You cried, clawing at the back of the couch. His large hand pushed you down against the couch, putting one of his legs into the couch to give himself a better angle to fuck into you. “Yeah you like it rough huh”.

The angle of his cock had you in tears, overwhelming pleasure coursed through you. “Of course you like it rough, you’re a dirty angry slut” He could feel you where close, the way your pussy walls fluttered around him, reaching around to grasp your neck and pulling out of you. “DREW! You asshole” you cried, the pleasure that had building in your lower stomach fizzled out only to reignite when his fingers closed around your neck.

“Jump”

You did as order and wrapped your legs around him, he slipped his cock back into you. Moving you both just enough so your bum sat against the bench, ruthlessly he fucked into you. Squeezing his finger around your throat, your own hand coming around to grip his wrist, you screamed and cried in pleasure.

“You dirty little slut! Who knew you were more than just a whining bitch” he spat, pressing his lips to yours before you could fight back. Your fingers scratched up and down his back, the only way you could tell him he was an asshole.

“Drew” you warned, your pussy walls pulsating around his cock and you chased your high. “You're gonna come? Go on then pretty girl, come around my cock” he urges.

His hips move faster and deeper, dropping his finger between you to fondle your clit.

“Holy shit! Oh o-oh!” You cried, letting the overwhelming pleasure knock you over. Curling your toes and tightening your legs around him, your pussy pulsated around his cock. Your nails dug deep into his shoulders trying to ground yourself.

He wrapped her arm around your waist tightly and followed suit, coming deep inside of you. “Fuck fuck fucking hell”.

His sweaty forehead met your chest, both your breathing labored. A few moments of silent breaths go by and he pulls away from you, helping you down from the bench.

“This doesn’t mean I suddenly like you” you comment, stepping around him to collect your dress. Rushing into the bathroom to clean yourself up.

A few moments and words to yourself go by and you open the bathroom door; eyes searching the floor for your panties.

“Looking for these?” He questioned as you stepped out, holding onto your thong with his finger like a prize.

“Fuck you”

“Just did”

Taglist - @laylasbunbunny @h34rtsformilli @lydiasxxsworld @hallecarey1 @mountloverr @outerbankspov @cameronmedia @crunchy-leaves77 @vigilanteshitposting @pedrisgatorade @phoenixssugarbaby @rafemotherfuckingcameron @s-we-e-t-t-ea @rafesthroatbaby @alltoomay @moremaybank @drewstarkeysbae @jjmaybankisbae

[medium-rare-bimbo]

EDDIE AND HIS CRYPTID GIRLFRIEND

♡Masterlist♡

MINORS DNI

contain: dubcon, somnophilia, drugging(?)

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ readmore ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

♡ thinking of eddie x cryptid!(?) Reader who is so curious about human norms and stands outside his trailer every night making strange noises and moving things around. He tries to understand you and talk to you maybe even help you but you freeze and runaway :((( he soon starts sitting outside his trailer waiting for you to come back, you stand near the tree line watching him holding eye contact and barely blinking, You look human but the way you act tells him that theres something off about you maybe you're not all mentally there? Each night you get closer to him and eddie starts leaving food a couple of feet infront of him hoping you get close enough so he can ask you something. When you're close enough to the plate you crouch down keeping your eyes on him as you bring the food to your mouth, you're almost animal like. Once eddie sees that you respond well to the food he brings the plate closer to him until you're sitting next to him and hes having an entire one sided conversations with you. He somehow gets you to come inside the trailer and in his room where you're immediately interested in the lamps and strange sticky magazines. He offers the shower to you after he notices your dirt covered feet but you stare blankly at him and he soon realises that he needs to bathe you himself if he wants you clean. It was no easy task however, you were more interested in dragging him into the shower with you than actually getting clean, by the end Eddie was naked and his clothes were soaked and thrown on the floor but you were clean so his job was done. He proceeded to keep you locked in his room and occasionally let you wonder around the trailer park but ONLY at night you've already gave poor old lady edith a heart attack when she caught you staring at her through her windows </3</3  as much as eddie tries to train you to behave you refuse >:(( you were born to make nests in his bed, stare into nothing and freak him out, watch him sleep, kneed his pillow, it's in your DNA how dare he deny you of your instincts >:000 idk I just think they'd be a neat couple <3 breeding kink is through the roof though jesus

♡ (vampire eddie!) OR they meet in the upside down and you're just standing over his barley alive body, his eyes struggling to adjust to the world around and he honestly thinks you're a hallucination

♡ you like standing over him while he sleeps, watching his chest rise and fall, his eyes flickering across his eyelids, the sleep filled murmurs he speaks and the tics of his body. You have been hit multiple times from eddie suddenly waking up. you stare, he wakes, you stare, he screams, you stare, he attacks, you stare.

♡ your pupils are very unsettling, too big or too small theres never an in between. Never.

♡ you bite everything like literally EVERYTHING. Never in his life would eddie think hed have to hide batteries and no he doesnt care if they make your brain fizzy you cant have them >:((

♡ you steal every piece of fabric in the house, blankets, towels, shirts, pants, socks you name it, it's in your 'nest'

♡ you like places you shouldnt be especially small dark places with closed spaces and little room to breathe aka Eddie's closet. It smells like him, it's dark, its warm, what more could you want?

♡ if eddie is eating food you MUST try some, you sit there staring until he gives you a tiny piece. You never ask for more unless he offers preferring to walk off and see if the light stays on when the fridge closes

♡ eddie loves watching you exist, you're a simple creature just living life except you have zero brain cells and you scare everyone. Wow what a shocker that children would be scared of a non blinking creature standing at the edge of the forest

♡ you've followed eddie to school multiple times and only on a few occasions has he caught you although you prefer the night youd do anything to look at your eddie.

♡ there have been many times that eddie has suspected you're just a possessed girl whose going to eat him one day (yeah eat that dick)

Maybe youre severely mentally unwell? hes not sure, your movements are conspicuous and unnatural as if you're not sure how to be human, as if you're body isnt your own yet you act too contemplated for him to draw a direct conclusion. Every movement that comes from your body is planned out, that slow stumble over to the eddie while his back was turned? You were stalking him youre prey. the small cries that left you throat when you both went on a date? You were calling a stag over for a meal disgusing yourself as a baby doe In need of help (eddie quickly shot the idea down)

♡ if any of the gang meet you they 100% think you're from the upside down, and they're right. Nancy has tried to shoot you 17 times <3 only missing 4 times <3 s'okay though you're built different

♡ she meant to shoot you the first 12 times the others were accidents, you kept breaking into her house and staring at her (you also stole some of her things because you thought they looked nice, where those items are now will forever be a mystery) you wanted to know how to be a normal human girl and robin isnt the best at being girly so you had no one else to turn to :(( she gave you a dress that you have never wore, nancy will never forgive you for tormenting her

♡ like to think Steve pushes your head away when you stare at him for too long, an awkward hand to the side of your creepy face your eyes never moving from his. He hates it. Hes also poked you with his bat multiple times when he found you lying on the floor seemingly dead. You dont let him have anything nice, hes drinking out of a coke can? Boom on the floor where it belongs. Pick it up bitch boy

♡ you like hearing what robin says about obscure topics, you pick up items and look at her until she tells you the entire history of how it's made and what it does. She rants to you about her life as she realises that you couldnt care less about anything that goes on in human society, you dont understand why same gender couples 'shouldn't' be together nor do you understand why high school roles exist. Why should you care about a cheerleader? What the hell is a cheerleader? Have you ever met a cheerleader? Whose a cheerleader? What is band practice? Why is she telling you this? Is this what humans go through when they reach as certain age? Turn into basketballs? Are basketballs a type of human?

♡ you think the kids smell weird and refuse to go near them, you stand awkwardly in the corner until eddie leaves then you follow or they blink and you're gone.

♡ Dustin has tried to get close to you but you deny him the attempt. Many many many times has he tried to lure you into a trap with food (just like eddie had) yet you dont even care for the food to busy looking at him in disgust to care

♡ children stinky

♡ Will thinks you're sent to bring him back to the upside down but the truth is you simply couldnt care less, who is vecna? What is a demodog? Demogorgan? Who are these people?

♡ water is your enemy, juice however? Love it! Magical flavourful liquid is amazing, water is plain and boring would you drink it out in the wild? Absolutely but now that eddie has showed you the wonders of squash life has changed

♡ if eddie isnt showering with you then you're not having a shower. You refuse and pull him in with you because how else are you supposed to smell like eddie? Does he expect you to smell like yourself? Not happening >:(((

♡ you've drank his bath water

♡ it was traumatizing for him please never do it again

♡ holding hands <3<3

♡ it's not because he loves you so much it's because you cant be trusted

♡ he doesn't like your shape teeth please remove them from his leg and back away

VAMPIRE! eddie

♡ he spits on you because he hates you (he is actually devoted to you and only spits on you because it makes you smell like him)

♡ he doesnt like the way you look at him

♡ you compare teeth together<3<3

♡ you're always throwing him in your "nest" because hes cold, he doesnt have the heart to tell you that hes naturally cold

♡ even as a vampire you still scare the shit out if him, where do you come from? How did you get there? He turned around and you were practically in his skin. Back up

♡♡♡NSFW♡♡♡

♡ breeding kink ™️

♡ eddie is your mate and your mate only!! whoever this "fleshlight" is needs to back off >:000 you're the only thing that deserves to have his cum

♡ you like his cock!!! You love how its tastes and how it twitches in your mouth, you love how his precum coats your tongue, you love the way your jaw aches from how wide you have to open your mouth <3<3<3<3 you like when hes soft too, you like playing with his foreskin and kissing his tip when it peaks out or just watching it become hard <3

♡ your obsessed with making out with him!!! Even more obsessed with receiving/giving hickeys!!!! Marks are everything to you, it's how you show the world you have a mate although eddie did have to vigorously explain that he cant walk around with a dark people neck (he has thighs so it's okay)

♡ if eddie has his attention on anything other than you it's like a wet dream for him. One second he was toning his guitar next thing he knows you're presenting to him like a cat, naked, bent over, holes visible to him and him only. The first few times this happened he thought he was dreaming

♡ you refuse to wear pants, the most he can get you in is shorts and even then you only wear them when Wayne is home. You're usually wearing his shirt and panties or just his shirt, he takes advantage of the times you decide that panties are awful

♡ eddie has been woken up to you sucking/bouncing on his cock many times. hes in a good mood for the rest of the day

♡ he spanked you once without thinking, you had just finished rooting in the cupboards looking for your fav carton of fruit juice when he reached above you for a mug, you walked off and he unconsciously slapped your ass. You've never been the same since, whenever you feel the urge to get your ass smacked you wonder over to eddie and place his hand on your ass and no you dont care that he has people over

♡ you ate some of his edibles (it was multiple times) you got so horny that you rode eddie until he passed out, when he woke up you were still going at it. He walked funny for a week or two, each swing of his legs jostling his sensitive cock however he would 100% do it again

♡ eddie fingers you while he does basic tasks, brushing his teeth? Hes shirtless with messy hair, a toothbrush in his mouth as your bent over the bathroom sink stuffed with his fingers. No attention is directed to you, too occupied with getting ready for him to care about how your fucking yourself back on his fingers.

♡ you have stuffed several rings of Eddie's inside you why? Because love <3 you only do it so he has to fish them out of you

"Y/N where are my rings?"

"I think you know"

♡ eddie had to buy you a couple of sex toys because as much as he loves to be inside you his dick needs a break. You currently have a small collection of a 2 dildos, a vibrator, a bullet vibrator, 2 plugs (one for each hole) and a bottle of lube that rarely gets used. On several occasions he has found you double stuffed and passed out. he doesnt take your toys out simply lays down next to you and falls asleep

♡ blood <3 you love his !! Very tasty and yummy would eat again.

♡ you sat on his face once and almost drowned him, you were in and out of consciousness after your orgasm shook you. Eddie has oral skills <3

♡ predator + prey kink? YES, you dont care whose the prey or whose the predator as long as you're being stuffed. Something about chasing for your prize /being chased gets you going

♡ eddie let's you hump his leg while he writes up a new campaign

♡ He likes pinching your tongue and watching your salvia drip down his fingers

♡ he got you a collar and leash <3

VAMPIRE! Eddie

♡ he bit you and you came

♡ you both share a primal kink

♡ you thought your breeding kink was bad before its even worse now.

♡ he has shoves you against trees and fucks you until you cry, theres a lot of snarling and growling involved

♡ definitely scents you after he feeds

[withlovemark]

everywhere.

warning: i noticed someone put cliffhanger last time so yes, this one also has a cliffhanger, brace yourselves. and angst! oops

pairing: steve x female reader

words: 6.3k (this is barely edited, im sorry, im still under a time constraint)

settings: s4 vol 2 except it's a bit different (light spoilers!)

an: i honestly just sat down and wrote for 2 days straight so yall are getting this earlier than promised. i think i've tricked myself into thinking this is a masterpiece lmfao. enjoy reading! and thank you so much for the kind words! <3 please feel welcome to send more in! im a slut for validation lol

one. two.

three.

a crunching sound makes its way to your ears, replacing fleetwood mac, as soon as you make contact with the ground. 

mike’s player - broken. 

the vine unwrapped itself, freeing you after it has served its only purpose. branches rapidly piling on the portal above you and blocking you from view. 

“you can’t leave, y/n,” a dark whisper causes you to stand up, eyes swiftly inspecting the room you just had the privilege of leaving. vecna comes into view, slowly walking towards you, like he had all the time in the world. bastard. 

“don’t worry, you still have time, i just want to show you something,” you run, seeking safety in what you thought would be eddie’s room. it wasn’t. instead you were watching a little boy seated on a laboratory chair, the numbers 001 being etched onto his skin. so similar to the ones you’ve seen on eleven. ‘what the hell?’

“all done. not so bad, was it?” the man you’ve only heard off from the rest, now seated right in front of the boy, Dr. Brenner.

“see, there’s nothing to be afraid of, is there… y/n?” the sound of your name passing through his lips snaps you back, “why don’t you take a seat?” he continues, his voice distorting and morphing into the one that sends goosebumps throughout your skin. you quickly run out of the room, hoping to be back in eddie’s trailer yet things never go your way. 

standing, now, in the middle of what seems to be a hospital. the flickering lights, the blood splattered walls and the numerous dead bodies greeting you. you immediately run towards the exit, just your luck – blocked.

“y/n… what are you doing?” it’s him again, the same malicious voice. “it’s not time for you to leave,” he’s getting closer and closer and you can hear your heart thumping in your chest. 

“s-steve!,” you call out, just wanting to be as far away from there as possible, “steve! help! please!!” pounding on the blocked door, you knew that it was useless. that no matter how much you plead, no one will hear you. 

“now that you’ve seen where i’ve been, i would like very much to show you where i am going,” his voice is much closer now. you desperately try to rid the barricaded door of the pieces of wood attached to it, finally making your way through. 

and when you thought things couldn’t get worse, you're face to face with Dr. Brenner once again, “take a seat, y/n,” his white, glossy eyes boring into your soul before you were suddenly yanked and wrapped into a laboratory chair, tentacles tightening around your arms and legs. 

you’re trapped. there's nowhere to go. vecna was making his way closer and closer, his heavy breathing getting louder and louder, occupying every corner of your mind, “i want you to tell eleven, i want you to tell her…everything you see,” he darkly whispers, bringing his scrawny. branch-like fingers up to your head, showing you the future, “no!,” you screech. 

the clock, chiming. a portal, large enough to destroy hawkins, opening. steve, robin, max, lucas, dustin, nancy, eddie, all dead. 

“tell…her…everything,” vecna continues and you can’t help but feel like you’ve already lost. 

in a second, you were back in eddie’s trailer, still in the upside down, tears slipping freely from your tired eyes as you tried to catch your breath. you need to get back. to warn the others of what's about to come. but the portal above you was still tightly shut. 

how dare he not open it for you after giving you a task? frustrated, you try and think of where an open portal could be. 

and then you heard them, through the other side.  

–

they try to come up with a plan of rescue. your anguish yell when you fell through the portal was the only sound replaying in steve’s mind as he tried to listen in to the suggestions that were falling around the group.  

“we can’t go back to lover’s lake, that gate is blocked” eddie announces, recollecting the memories of the bats that are now guarding the portal. 

“ok, well, does anyone know where freddie died?” max asks. the group shares unknown glances, all afraid to make eye contact with the despaired boy. steve feels more hopeless with every second that passes. 

but then the lamp beside him flickers. 

“y/n?” it flickers once again, capturing the group's attention. “y/n! is that you?! if it’s you tap it three times!,” he yells through the walls, hoping to god you were there. 

the light flickers, exactly three times. steve feels relief wash all over him, knowing that you were still alive. he needs to get to you. now. 

“w-we’re coming to get you, okay!” he continues, feeling a little crazy that he was yelling at a lamp. “just stay safe and wait for me, i will be there!,” he reassures you and himself. the light flickers once again, letting him know that you heard every word. he looks back at the group, hoping someone knows what the next step is. 

“i uh know the general vicinity...” nancy declares, “it’s around this area, just pass the woods,” at that, steve immediately dashes out of the trailer, the group right on his heels. 

–

you hear the sounds of their footsteps getting further and further away. running out of eddie’s trailer, you grabbed the bike you were once on, speeding out of there and back into the dark forest. 

it doesn’t take much effort for you to find the portal in the middle of the road, exactly where freddie died but only because another set of vines were rapidly piling on top of it, just like the ones in eddies trailer. you curse vecna in your head.

he wanted you to disseminate information yet he can’t even let you out of here? the whole situation is stupidly annoying and you wish you could just march up to him and give him an ugly slap across the face. 

“what is your game!?” you yell out to the skies above you, not even caring about what kind of monsters lie in this world, those that could possibly hear you. 

“you want me to tell eleven, don’t you!?” the skies grumble, like it was responding to you. “then let me out!,” you cry. 

like some sort of miracle, the portal opens. 

the familiar face of the boy you love immediately comes into view, “y/n, i’m here, let’s go!,” he says hurriedly as you run towards him, hands intertwining with his. however, instead of the warmth you usually feel when steve was around, coldness enveloped your fingers. his fingers feeling like branches. you look up at his hollow, white eyes. 

“well, are you going to save us, y/n?” he taunts you. you can’t help but feel like this is all some sort of sick joke, “are you finally going to do something or are you just going to expect us to save you…like you do all the time?,” he continues, his voice now unrecognizable. 

“i-im trying,” you whimpered. 

why was vecna still torturing you? 

“you’re useless and you really believe i could love you back?,” he continues taking jabs at your heart. you know it’s vecna but the fact that these words are slipping from the lips of the man you love makes it hard for you to disassociate his face from his words. you continue to cry out for help, trying to wriggle yourself out of his hold. 

 – 

“we’ve been walking down this same road nancy, are you sure it’s here?,” steve's impatient. his leg bouncing as he inspects the location that they found themselves in for the umpteenth time. 

“i could’ve sworn it was here,” nancy muttered, confused. 

robin starts wandering around until she spots a similar view, “guys!, it’s here!,” she called out. the rest of the group making their way towards her, right in front of the portal that looked exactly like the one in eddie’s trailer, “you’ve got to be kidding me,” eddie comments, looking at steve, who had the same hopeless look as before. 

“y/n are you here? can you hear me?” steve calls out into the air, desperate for some sort of sign from you. the group looks around, trying to see if any of the street lights would flicker, assuring them of your existence. 

it does. 

various lights start flickering at a godly speed, signaling the group that it was no longer you on the other side. simultaneously, nancy is pulled away from reality, causing the group to burst into chaos. she sees the same visions that vecna shared with you. and then she sees you, on the other side, hand wrapped around vecnas, “y/n!,” she yells for you, trying to catch your attention. she hears vecna taunting you, your whimpers, your cries for help. 

“don’t you see, nancy,” vecna calls out to her for the first time, causing the hairs on her arms to rise. 

“the power of guilt is the strongest of all.”

“nance!,” steve’s voice snaps her back to reality, her consciousness slowly creeping back in as she stared back at the boy, “i saw her,” she admits. 

the group hurriedly made their way back to eddie's trailer, it’s not exactly safe to have a suspect just roaming around the streets. nancy explained everything she saw. vecna’s past, the future he has planned, and the present of the upside down, which involves you. 

they figure out vecna’s plan – four kills, four gates, end of the world. 

“if that’s true, he’s only one kill away,” dustin spoke, fear rising throughout the room. 

“so why hasn’t he killed her then?” lucas asks the question that was playing in everyone's minds, “y/n could be the fourth kill and then he wins… what’s stopping him?” 

“that’s the thing, he’s feeding off of her, increasing her guilt to make him stronger,” nancy claimed, sympathetically looking at steve. 

it was all too much for the boy. he gets up from the comfort of the couch, walking out of the trailer, trying to collect his feelings, desperately wanting to avoid a second mental breakdown. every second away from you is eating him away. the fact that he’s here, sitting on the steps of eddie’s trailer, safe, angers him. he should’ve held on to you. he should’ve paid more attention. 

his thoughts were disrupted when a certain red head called out to him, “hey!”

quickly, steve wipes away the tears that have made their way upon his cheeks, “just give me a minute, okay, max, i just need some time,” he pleads with the girl.

“we don’t really have a lot of that left,” she replies apologetically, carefully taking a seat next to him. “she told me about her visions,” she starts, capturing steve’s attention. max indulges in him, the information you’ve only shared with her. starting with your visions of will and then of steve. 

“he’s using you… to get to her… convincing her that you can never love her,” max concludes. steve feels nothing but dread. maybe if he just told you what he felt a little earlier then vecna would’ve never gotten to you. maybe the both of you would be in his car right now, just laughing about everything and anything, his hand tightly wrapped around yours as you place quick, small kisses on the back of his hand. but you weren’t there and he has no idea if you were okay. 

to think that he thought max was there to comfort him. 

letting out a shaky breath  “that…that’s not true,” he sounds so broken. he can’t even imagine what you were going through, “i-i love her more than i’ve ever loved anyone else,” he admits, causing a sad smile to form on the red headed girl.

“so then stop moping around and prove it to her,” she gives him a hard stare. he doesn’t need to be told twice. in a second, he’s back in eddies trailer. for the second time, the group comes up with a more stable plan. 

get a car. buy a gun. find a portal. rescue you. kill vecna.

it shouldn't be that hard?

–

you’re running. 

visions after visions attacking you. 

just a second ago, vecna had embodied your father. the same father that abandoned you when you were six years old. sputtering sentences like, “ever since you were born, you ruined your mother and i’s relationship,” and “you’re so hard to love, that’s why i left!” every single word adding sins to your contaminated heart. 

before that you were at the gym, trying to find comfort in the place you’ve spent the most days in. vecna found a way to taint that memory too. chrissy cunningham making an appearance in the middle of the room, looking straight in your eyes, pleading, lips quivering “why didn’t you help me?” “i would still be alive if you just tried harder!” 

each voice, always distorting into the intrusive yet familiar sound that you fall for every time. fear enveloping your soul at every moment. 

now, you’re here, facing your home. just wanting to be able to breathe, even for just a second. you just want the pain to stop.

time has been lost on you, you’re not exactly sure how long you’ve been down here. it could be a couple of days? or maybe just a few hours? all you know is that you’re so tired. entering your home, your footsteps carry you into the comfort of your own bed. laying there, just for a while, you tell yourself, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart.

at this point, you’ve run out of tears to cry. eventually, you doze off, hoping to god that this was all a bad dream. that when you wake up tomorrow, steve’s arms will be around you, the sun shining brightly out the window, your alarm clock signaling the start of the next day.

–

surprisingly enough, the group didn’t have much trouble getting a car, well, in this case.a camper van, thanks to eddie who was taught how to hotwire by his father. steve drives it like a madman, not caring about its exterior, just wanting you to be seated on the passenger side, instead he was comforted by his ex-girlfriend. 

“hey, we’ll get her back,” nancy breaks him out of his thoughts, another sympathetic smile directed at him, “you can’t lose her, remember,” nancy reaffirms, encouraging the boy to not lose hope. he sends her a grateful smile before his eyes were once again, focused on the road. 

the group are now buying guns, explosives and everything else they thought might come in handy. still a pretty easy step. until jason carver spots steve harrington.

“harrington,” he calls out, gun in hand. 

“carver,” steve nods, barely acknowledging his presence. of course they knew each other, they were once in the same basketball team. 

“have you seen y/n?” he asks the brown haired boy. your name slipping from the boys lips leaves a sour taste in steve’s mouth. he never wants him to say it again. in fact, he never wants him near you. 

“no…why are you looking for her?,” steve lied. 

“i have to say sorry to her,” jason admits, his voice far from being sympathetic, “you know, for that night where she helped you and sinclair escape…i may have held onto her wrist too tightly,” jason replied, provoking the boy. steve’s eyebrows slightly furrow, the grip on the bottle he was holding, tightening. how could he not have even noticed that night? he’s not too sure who he was more furious at, jason or himself. 

“don’t worry pretty boy, she’s handled worse from me,” jason pokes at steve and he knows he’s implying the times you were involved with the blonde boy.

“i haven’t seen her, i don’t know what you’re talking about,” steve continues. not wanting to get mixed up with jason even more. but jason sees right through him. 

“you know…she’s beautiful, that one…every guy in hawkins high would love to get even the smallest of taste…how does it feel, harrington?,” he continues to probe, the question leaving steve confused, “what?”

“to be chosen by her,” he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world “you see, she ended things with me, stating that she was in love with someone else, then after that…i started seeing you with her, kind of just put two and two together y’know, it was so obvious,” steve is left shocked, you told him you weren’t seeing jason anymore because he got with chrissy. 

steve makes up his mind, he’s furious at himself. if jason carver was able to piece it together, why couldn’t he? why did it have to take losing you for him to finally realize his feelings? 

“oh,” jason chuckles darkly, “don’t tell me?,” he eggs on, “you didn’t know?” he ridicules, mocking the boy. “god, you really are stupid.”

steve feels his patience diminish with every second, he lets go of the bottle, fists getting ready to make an impact. if it wasn’t for robin pulling him away, maybe he would’ve ended up with another black eye. jason watches his retreating figure, scoffing before busying himself once again with the pistol in his hand. 

“we don’t have time to fight a little blonde boy, ok,” robin exclaims once they're out of the store, steve groans, annoyed. “focus! steve, jason’s obviously just trying to get you riled up but he’s not important right now…y/n needs us,” he knows that. he doesn’t need to be reminded the fact that you’re still in the upside down and he feels like he’s been wasting so much time.

– 

the telephone on your bedside table rings, you answer it, eyes still closed, mind still foggy. “hello?”

deep breathing makes it’s way through the phone, “y/n, where are you?” causing you to sit up, the room around you in color. you sigh, it was all a dream. 

the ease that washes over your body only lasts for a second, “i need you!” a blood curdling scream echoes throughout the whole room, painting it blue. a younger version of will byers was standing at the foot of your bed, eyes petrified, the color drained from his face, mirroring the time he was possessed.

“will,” you whisper, afraid to hear your own voice because then that would mean that this wasn’t just a nightmare, that you were now back in your new reality. 

“you weren't there!,” the boy roared, in complete rage, “and now everyone’s about to die!... all. because. of. you!” he continues taunting you. 

“i’m sorry!,” you heaved, your chest feeling heavy, “i-im so sorry, p-please, please just stop,” you sobbed, closing your eyes and hugging your knees close to your body. you’re not sure how much more of these you can take. you feel so weak. every vision feels like a life source is being taken away from you and all you want to do is succumb. 

once vecna has you, all your suffering would be over, the thought is starting to sound tempting. 

but the figure of will byers reminded you of something. there must be a portal in the place where it all began, right?

you stare back at the boy, repeatedly telling yourself that it wasn’t really him. 

quietly, you reach for the phone sitting beside you and in one quick motion, you cruelly jammed it onto the side of the boy’s head, causing him to fall to his side. his figure morphing into the branches you absolutely hated. 

running out of that room as quick as you can, “don’t you think i know what you're doing!,” the husky voice behind you bellows, causing adrenaline to pump through your veins even harder. you run and you run until you no longer feel his eyes on you. 

you’re not sure what’s happening, but you’ve noticed some of the branches hissing away, almost like they were hurting, vecna was no longer after you. this was your time to test your theory, you ran all the way to the byers’ house. 

stepping in, you were greeted with the same christmas lights hanging on every corner of the ceiling. the alphabet written in black ink is still evident as day. shivers going down your spine. you remember this. you were here, standing at the exact same spot, when it all started. 

you look around the living room, spotting steve’s makeshift bat. you carefully grab it, hands gripping it tightly, it was heavier than it looked yet somehow the weapon gives you comfort. you decide to hold on to it. 

searching the entire house, you don’t find a portal. however, you do find a tape player in jonathan’s room. quickly scanning around the boys’ drawers, you hope to god everywhere was around here somewhere. music was the only thing that took you away from vecna and you’re going to need more time if you ever want to get out of here and help the others. 

the sound of the front door opening halts your movement. swiftly grabbing steve’s bat, you make your way out of the room, ready to come in contact with vecna once again. raising the bat a bit higher, you get ready to swing. 

the face of the man you love comes into view and you’re frozen, unable to move. you can’t do this anymore. “no!” you cry, backing away from him, fear evident in your eyes “p-please, please just stop,” the bat in your hands lowering, you close your eyes, not wanting to see his hollow eyes again. not wanting to hear the malicious words vecna has managed to come up with this time. 

not wanting to taint steve’s image any longer. 

“i give up,” you whisper, your hands unwrapping itself from the bat, dropping it straight to the ground, it’s sound ringing through the air, “you win.”

he felt relieved yet heartbroken at the same time. the fear in your eyes crushes him. you are a beautiful tragedy, small cuts evident on your face, your clothes sporting multiple rips, some of those were colored in red. and your voice - so small. you’re fragile and he’s afraid that you’ll break at any moment yet he walks over to you anyways. 

the important thing is you’re alive. 

footsteps make their way closer to you. having accepted your fate, you ready yourself for the pain that lies ahead. instead, warm hands make their way upon your cheeks causing you to slowly flutter your eyes open. 

steve’s brown eyes. 

“i’m here,” he whispers only for you to hear. 

you’re not too sure what’s real anymore. your visions always started out like it was. 

hands immediately go to his chest, up his shoulders, exploring his body, trying to make sure that this isn’t just another trick. he watches you even though all he wanted was to wrap his arms around you, to let you know that it’s really him. he knows that it will overwhelm you so he waits, giving you all the time in the world. 

he feels so warm. “y-you’re really here,” you whisper, finding it hard to find your voice, hesitantly, you look up at him once again, his eyes are still brown and you can’t help but release your tears, hands immediately wrapping around the boy’s neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. you can feel his heart beating in his chest further confirming that it was truly him. 

steve pulls you even closer to him, arms around your waist, his own tears falling freely from his face, the two of you relishing the feeling of finally being back in each other’s arms.

he pulls away first, hands cupping your cheeks, trying to wipe away your fallen tears, eyes intently boring into yours, he has so much he wants to say he doesn’t even know where to start. he chooses to settle with three words. three words that made you feel like you were alive again. “i love you,” he professes before his lips we‘re finally on yours. it was a slow kiss, one that held so many emotions and you can’t help but let your tears continue to flow, the salty taste mixing in between your lips. his words replaying in your head, taking away all feelings of agitation in a way fleetwood mac never could. 

maybe if it wasn’t for the gravity of the situation, you would’ve awed at how sentimental this moment is, taking place exactly where you first met him, hell, even on the exact day. but you couldn’t think of anything else, for once, your mind felt at peace. the pounding in your head is only a distant memory, one that you’ll happily get rid of. 

pulling away, steve wipes away your tears, you do the same for him, the both of you chuckling at your actions, finding the situation you’re in hard to believe, “i love you… so much,” he continues, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “i’m sorry it took me so long to finally tell you,” his eyes quickly flashing with regret, forehead softly colliding with yours as he listened to the sound of your breathing. his hands under your shirt, just wanting to feel your skin. “h-how did you get here?” you ask, finally finding your voice. 

“molotov cocktail,” he shrugs like it was the most normal thing in the world. you piece it all together, the branches hissing, vecna leaving you alone, all because the boy in front of you threw a bomb at a portal. 

“that was very smart of you,” you point out, steve’s quiet laugh sounds so melodic, “how did you know i was here?”

“intuition, i guess, something in my gut just brought me here,” he explains.

vecnas was wrong. guilt isn’t the strongest of all. 

love is. 

it’s always been love. 

you take him all in before leaning towards him once again, capturing his lips into a greedy kiss. he kisses you back with the same amount of force. you’ve missed him so much. you never want this moment to end. besides being in the upside down, with vecna being able to walk in at any given moment, you felt absolute bliss. 

the sound of a guitar from a distance causes you to pull away. hands quickly gripping the boy's arm. this cannot be another vision or you’re not too sure what you would do with yourself if you find that you were making out with vecna. 

steve’s cheeky smile comes into light, his eyes still holding that warm brown, holding so much love for you, “it’s eddie,” he states and you look up at him, confused, “what?” 

“c’mon, we have to go,” he grabs your hand, pulling you out of the byers‘ house and running away from the commotion. he explains to you the plan that was being set in motion — eddie and dustin distracting the bats; max and the sinclairs distracting vecna; robin and nancy heading to victor creels house. 

he continues, letting you know about nancy’s visions and how she saw vecna feeding off of your guilt. you swear you want nothing more than to burn this bastard to the ground, steve’s makeshift bat in your hand. 

the two of you maze through the neighborhood, trying to avoid every branch to get to nancy and robin. steve’s hand never leaves yours, the bats above you flying towards the direction of eddie’s trailer, master of puppets still ringing through your ears. 

finally making your way into the house, you notice robin and nancy on the front porch, waiting. robin immediately envelops you into a hug, a sigh of relief falling from her lips “oh my god, you look like shit,” she says bluntly, earning a chuckle from you. 

“thanks, that’s really what i need to hear right now,” you reply sarcastically. your eyes dart over to nancy who has a small smile playing on her lips. mirroring her expression. you mutter out a soft, “thank you,” and she gives you a knowing nod. 

“we’ll, let’s kill this son of a bitch so we can get out of here,” steve breaks off the small reunion. 

“sounds good, this place gives me the creeps,” robin comments before the four of you opened the door and were met with numerous vines coming out of the floors, oozing unto the walls, it was everywhere. 

steve carefully starts making his way into the house, not letting fear get the best of him. he gets to the bottom of the stairs, sending the three of you a smile, “oooh, what? does he want us to clap?” robin playfully whispers for only you and nancy to hear and you can't help but share playful grins.

you retrace steve’s steps, nancy muttering out a, “be careful.”

soon after, the two followed. in a matter of minutes, the four of you have made your way to the top of stairs, all determined to get this over with. 

the ground rumbling from beneath ruins the plans, your head immediately pounding, you wince, steves hand’s quick on your shoulder, stabling you. his eyes held nothing but concern and you shoot him a small smile, letting him know that you’re okay. 

the small, intimate moment interrupted by robin’s cries, “steve!” she yells out to her best friend, the vines grabbing her and wrapping her into the wall. steve was in action as soon as his name slipped past the girl’s lips, his axe quickly swinging in motion, viciously hitting the vines who were wrapping tighter and tighter. 

the vines were fighting back just as hard, eventually capturing steve and nancy, pulling them to the other side of the wall, somehow leaving you, unharmed, desperately trying to free your friends using only the bat in your hand. it doesn't work, the vines seeming to get tighter with every second. you look into your friends eyes, robin, nancy, then steve’s. you just want them out of here.

“stop!” you yell out into the air. 

“let them go!,” you cry out, the three watching you, struggling to breathe as they try to pull away the vines that were tightening around their necks. 

“you want to win, don’t you?!,” you continue, you know vecna can hear you. you can feel him watching your every move. 

“then do it!, take your last kill!,” you tempt him.

“y/n, no,” steve was able to mutter, catching your attention, you don’t look at him. you’re not sure you’ll be able to handle it. 

“kill me!,” your voice, hoarse, tears once leaving your eyes. the vines around your friends slowly unravel, causing them all to fall to the ground, gasps and coughs slipping past their lips. all of vecna’s energy rushing towards you as you were transported into another memory. 

steve was quick to run to you, blank, white eyes making contact with his, “no, no, no,” he says hurriedly, “hey, hey, come back to me,” he whispers. it’s not okay. the amount of time he’s gone through this. he just got you back and now you’ve drifted off once again and this time, he’s not sure if you will ever come back.

“his body is still up there,” nancy reminds everyone, giving the boy the slightest of hope. 

“c’mon nance, lets do this,” robin quickly adds. she’s well aware they wouldn’t be able to drag steve up there with them. he’ll never leave your side, it wasn’t even a question. 

nancy nods, “we’ll be quick,” she says, trying to reassure the boy. 

–

you find yourself in another memory, this one, not yours. eyes scanning the room, you recognize it as the gym, decorated in what seemed to be the snowball decorations and then you spot a familiar figure. 

“max!,” you call out to her, she quickly looks back, scared. 

“it’s me… i promise, it’s me,” you say gently, making your way over to her. 

“no,” she shakes her head, looking at the ground. your hand making contact with her shoulder provides her some comfort and in a second she has her hands wrapped around you, crying into your shoulders. you held her just as tightly, 

“are you ready to watch me kill her, y/n?” vecna’s voice breaks the two of you out of your embrace as you step in front of max, trying your best to shield her from him. it doesn’t work. he’s so strong.

vecna flungs you against the wall, your head making hard contact. “y/n!” max cries out, running after you. you try to shake away the feeling of unconsciousness, quickly getting back to your feet, both of you running towards the exit. 

you were in another place now – one that max has drifted to before. you see chrissy’s distorted figure wrapped around the tree, the sight alone making you want to empty your guts. you continue to run, max’s hand in yours. vecna following. 

vines clung their way around max’s ankle, pulling her back and dragging her across the floor and you can’t help but let out a battle cry, grabbing the first rock you see, you run as fast as your feet can carry you, smashing it upon the vine, freeing max. the girl continued to run in the opposite direction.

vecna just stands there, watching you both. you’re so tired of his bullshit. you’re so tired of running. and so you stop. turning around, you walk towards him. max halts her steps, “y/n, what are you doing?” she half shouts. 

max is so afraid, her mind not allowing her feet to follow you. you don't want her to. at this point it was either you or her. and you don’t think you’d be able to live with yourself if anything were to happen to the red headed girl. 

the rock still tightly clutched around your fingers, you make your way towards the figure that has been tormenting you, gaining confidence in every step. 

now in front of him, you face him, no signs of fear nor guilt entering your body. you have truly given up, accepting your fate. you had one last fight in you, ready to smash the rock upon his face but he’s much faster. vecna’s fingers make their way upon your head, the rock flying god knows where, all you could see is the red sky between the space of his fingers.

“it’s time,” his sinister voice makes it’s way to your ears. max is frozen, unable to move as vecna starts to suck out the life that remains in you. 

you can hear steve’s cries from the other side, you can feel him grasp onto your hand, desperately trying to keep you grounded. 

“do not leave me!” he commands, voice laced in nothing but heartbreak and desperation. he calls out to robin and nancy, not knowing what to do any longer. your body was getting so high, taking his breath with you. he’s struggling to form coherent sentences, the girl he loves seconds a way from her death and all he could do was stand there and watch. 

the sound of your arm cracking mortifies the boy below you, “please!, p-please,  stop! i love you, you have to come back,” he’s muffled pleas surrounding you, a tear escaping your eye as vecna continues to take you away. 

and then you hear a yell, vecna being flung away from you – eleven. 

your body makes hard contact with the ground, the skies above you still red, no signs of steve anywhere. max makes her way towards you, you can’t move. one of vecna’s vines impaling you, blood slowly sputtering out your lips, “y’n… y/n stay with me,” max pleads, her blue eyes coming into view, hands supporting your head.

you’re struggling to breathe, your own blood suffocating you. 

everything feels a bit hazy and then you see him, brown eyes, filled with tears as he holds you close to his chest, hands in the same place that max’s were.

you felt like you were going back and forth in between the worlds. 

“hey, hey,” he whispers, “you’re okay,” he tries to console you. trying to convince himself in the process. blood continues to spill from your lips and he notices the gash that appeared on your stomach, painting your shirt a deep red. 

“s-steve,” you croak out, your hand from your unbroken arm, gently making it’s way to his cheeks. he holds onto your fingers, keeping you there.

you feel so cold. 

“don’t talk, okay, it’s okay, we’re gonna get you out of here,” he hushly whispers, staring into your eyes that were beginning to droop so low, “just keep your eyes open for me,” he begs. 

your thumb softly grazes upon his chapped lips, the faint tune of everywhere encompasses you, you’re sure you’re imagining it. a series of happy memories makes its way into your mind. i guess its true, what they say, about your best memories flashing before you meres before your death. 

you envision steve that halloween night, beer bottle in hand, laughing over a joke you said. all the days spent with him and the kids just goofing off at starcourt mall, giggling at his sailor outfit. every drive where you were sitting on the passenger seat, the pretty boy next to you up to the moments in steve’s room where it was just the two of you, enjoying each other’s presence. even moments from this whole chaos makes their way – robin, nancy, eddie, all of it playing out like a movie.  

feelings of comfort, happiness, love rushes in at once and you know it's time to go.

“i-i love you…steve, s-steve harrington,” you managed to whisper out between your very red lips, only for him to hear. your thumb gently wiping away his tears, before completely slipping off, hands going limp, eyes shutting. 

steve can’t help but let out whimpers of cries. 

max, on the other side, mirroring him.

four

an: oops? vol 2 absolutely destroyed me and i refused to accept the fact that max and eddie are rip so i killed you instead ... or did i? hehe ... one more chapter left??

taglist:

@preciousbabypeter

@dabria14

@earthkissedcalum

@lettyshush

@m1ke-wheeler

@fujiihime

@zeusmyster

@buckys-bbarnes

@rexorangecouny

(ok i have no idea if i tagged you guys correctly, hoping this works. thank you for reading!)

[kanaosprotector]

Ahri and Xayah falling in love with Reader

Because Ahri and Xayah always deserve more headcanons. Also, be prepared for an Ahri x Reader One Shot eventually!

Also, they really need to put my precious Xayah and Ahri in more trailers smh.

By the way, I am thinking of *possibly* accepting League of Legends x Reader requests if anyone would be open to it, but that’s a maybe.

Notes: You know the drill. Implied Male Reader, but can be read for either gender, touch on Ahri’s past but mostly fluffy goodness!

(Also, I was legit just finished with this only for me to lose nearly all of poor Xayah’s section, so if it’s a bit weird it’s probably that. I do like how it turned out despite that as I love her and wanted to make it the best I can, but I may re-do it or add to it)

Ahri:

-Ahri is a sharp woman. In fact, no, that’s an understatement. She is so aware of her emotions that the Nine-tailed Fox is more or less aware of her feelings for you straight away, she also knows why she feels this way, and she curses herself for falling in love again when she already killed someone close to her, and she promised herself to never fall for someone again until you, someone who was nice to her despite everything, even when you found out who she really was and got to know her and made her heart that she promised will never open again... open again.

-Everytime you come near her she freezes for a few seconds before relaxing. She’s scared. Actually, she’s low-key terrified. She probably doesn’t know what to do for the first few days when she realises her love for you, alternating between being oddly affectionate and teasing, to being... strangely silent. Not to the point of being rude, but enough to let you know that something is off. During the silent times she’s thinking what it’d be like if she just... ran away whilst you were sleeping. You would be hurt most definitely, yes, but then she at least would know you’d be safe from her. Is it a bit selfish? Quite possibly, but she wants the best for you. Yet, whenever she resolved to leave, she takes one look at your face, and all of her will to leave vanishes.

-Eventually though, she has to face the facts. She loves you, very much so, and she cannot leave. At first she just settles for pining far away, content to just be silent about her affections for you and if you open up to her? That’s great! However… that lasts for a solid day or until someone dares flirt or even be kind enough that it can be mistaken for a romantic gesture. Possessiveness takes hold and she has to hold herself back from snapping the poor person’s neck.

-This this leads to one thing, Ahri deciding to win your heart for herself, and I can safely say that this girl is going all out. At first she thought she can just use her normal charms, but after thinking about it, it… didn’t feel right. She charms those she doesn’t care about and throws away, she wants to court you instead, show you how she feels in a human way. This leads Ahri to scour about how to show someone you like them, and that leads to quite fascinating results.

-You best be prepared for flowers, so long as you aren’t allergic, the ones she gives most are Red Roses, showing Love, but also Delphinium, showing ardent attachment. She also turns up her teasing, but her words and less inclined to make you embarrassed, but instead leave you blushing. Ahri knows just how beautiful she is, and she definitely uses it to her advantage. She also takes plenty of interest in what you do, and definitely wants to learn it if possible!

-She’s a huge romantic, though she won’t admit it easily, so her deepest desire is for you to confess to her, but honestly? The more her love for you grows, the more she doesn’t really care about whether you confess first or not. If she sees that you do like her, or at least has strong grounds to believe so, then she definitely cracks and spills her love for you. How much she adores you, how you always help her feel better when she’s down, and just how deep her feelings are for you… before, with your permission, promptly connecting her lips with yours, and when you finally confess to each other properly? She’s over the moon, and though it may take her a bit to fully come out of her shell and get rid of her worries, she loved you more than anything, and would do anything it takes to make sure you’re safe and happy.

-Just a small bonus, but she definitely dreams of having a family with you, with the two of you just living together in a cozy little home with a few children, but that’s something Ahri only wants to do when everything is sorted and she can guarantee control over herself.

Xayah:

(Look at Xayah being silly and adorable, I legit love her so much-)

-This girl is super in tune with her emotions, and the first emotion she feels is definitely surprise. Like, the Rebel definitely didn’t expect to fall in love. Sure, maybe somewhere down the line when the Vastaya are freed and she accomplished her dreams, maybe then she can settle down, but before that? She never dreamt of it.

-Part of her is scared at first. She has made plenty of enemies, Zed being a pretty good example, and she’s worried you’ll be targeted. Still, despite everything, Xayah is far more willing to accept it than Ahri. Whilst she does stop speaking with you for a day or so, the next day she’s back like nothing happened, crossing her arms and talking and joking with you like nothing happened and soon, everything is back to how it should be.

-Xayah is still Xayah, fact is she can be cold at times and you two still clash despite everything, but it has been starting to become somewhat clear that you have an almost calming essence on the Bird Vastaya. You two balance each other out surprisingly very well most the time, and this causes Xayah to fall further in love with you. She wants an equal in a relationship, and that is definitely what she sees you as.

-Xayah is way more patient than Ahri though, and it is important to note she doesn’t go by Human mating rituals. Instead, Xayah follows her own feelings, and instead goes by how Vastayans court (even if you somehow turn out to be a human, in which case congratulations!) She doesn’t parade her feelings for you, but they are there if one looks at them.

-She takes special interests in what you’re interested in as well. She often just sits down with you and just… listens. She doesn’t interrupt unless it’s to ask a question, and even then it’s an interesting point. She loves watching you talk about something, anything, you find fun, something you’re passionate about and she can’t help but smile really.

-One of the biggest turning points in your relationship is when she gifts you a feather of hers. Sure, she claims it’s just a good luck charm and in that essence she isn’t entirely wrong, but this is a big deal. A HUGE deal, as it essentially means she’s, for the first time, proclaiming she has intentions to get together with you romantically, though she does play it off. Not only that, but… it is nerve wracking for her as well, though she’d sooner toss herself down a ledge than admit it. Expect most Vastayans to cease flirting with you, and some may even try to push you two together! Of course though, there are still a few outliers, and should anyone hit on you during these days, it’s when Xayah gets mad, real mad let’s just say.

-Eventually though, everything clicks into place. She doesn’t say anything, content to instead have you come to her eventually and question her. This… is when she admits everything, and it’s also her lowering the walls she built. She confesses how she didn’t expect her to fall in love this early, how annoyed she felt when she saw others flirt with you, and probably more. The Rebel eventually does ask where this leaves the two of you, whether the two of you will be together, and when you smile and confess you love her too… She smiles a loving smile, aimed solely at you.

-“Alright then, Mieli/Miela (My Love), let’s sort everything around so we can look forward to out future together, alright?”

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 12

The past few days have been hell. I have no idea what to do about Zach and Florence. Some part of me was expecting her to at least text, but I haven't heard from her at all. I haven't spoken to Scarlett or Lizzie either. Ash keeps pestering me to go after Florence but she doesn't know about Zach's threats.

And to top it all off, Syd has felt sick for days on end. Her head is killing her and she keeps getting stomachaches. I took her to her pediatrician, Dr. Lancaster, but he said she's perfectly fine. It feels like something is wrong, but I'm not the one who went to medical school, I guess.

Sighing as I calm my thoughts, I hand the customer their drink and give them a brief smile before they leave the shop. Ash is in class and Syd is in school, so it's just me here. It's only 11am, and I'm already exhausted. Standing behind the counter, resting my head in my hands, I perk up when the door opens. There's a brief glimmer of hope that a certain blonde will walk through the door, but it fades quickly.

"Oh, hey, Willow," I say, my voice a knotch higher than usual as I remember my vital mistake.

"Morning, Y/N," she greets, leaning on the counter across from me, a daring half smile playing at her lips. "You never called."

"Shit, I'm so sorry. I just got caught up with everything and-"

"Don't worry about it. So who is she?"

Her question catches me off guard and I stumble over my words. "What? Who?"

"Look, I'm not blind, Y/N. You're obviously hung up on somebody else. It's not fair to anybody to keep this thing going," she shrugs. "I'm not upset, okay? Honestly. Is it that British woman from VIP night?"

"It's complicated..."

"It always is. There's a reason true love is hard to find. If it were simple, everyone would have it."

"Thank you, Willow," I say sincerely. I know I was kind of an ass, but she's being really mature about this whole thing anyways.

"Thank you. For the, you know," she smirks coyly. I laugh and throw a paper cup at her, which she catches and throws back before walking towards the door. "I hope we can still be friends?" she asks.

"I'd like that." She leaves the shop and I smile slightly, glad that something is finally going right. I've known Willow for a long time, and I'd hate to throw that away just because we had sex one time. Well, more than one time, but all in the same night so it doesn't count.

A few more uneventful hours drag by. Switching the vinyls on the turn table, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Scarlett: We made a group chat. We need to talk. Lizzie: Scarlett don't make it sound so ominous. Scarlett: I'm pissed. I'll be as ominous as I want.

They made a group chat. That can't be good.

Me: What is going on? Why are you pissed? Scarlett: What happened to calling her?? I thought you were gonna fight for her, dumbass. Me: I did call. I left a message. Haven't heard from her. Lizzie: Well clearly it wasn't a very persuasive voicemail, considering she thinks you don't want to see her anymore Scarlett: You need to go talk to her Me: Why would she think that? And how am I supposed to talk to her? Scarlett: We can sneak you on set or into her trailer. It'll be straight out of a romcom! Lizzie: OOH yeah! Nobody will even notice and she'll be swept off her feet Me: This doesn't sound like a good idea. Scarlett: Do you have a better suggestion? Me: I guess not Lizzie: Then we're doing this. We'll pick you up in two hours. Be ready!

Oh God. Now I'm freaking out. What did I just get myself into?

~

I adjust the blazer around my torso, anxiously checking the time. I decided to wear mom jeans, a white top, and an oversized blazer. I want to look good without looking like I'm trying to look good. I'm definitely overthinking this. What the hell am I going to say?

I hear a horn honk outside, and bound down the steps of my apartment. I slide into the backseat of a black car with tinted windows, and Scarlett and Lizzie are already inside. "You ready for this?" Lizzie asks.

"Not in the slightest," I breathe out shakily.

"You'll do fine. Just, you know, woo her. With words and stuff," Scarlett advises me.

"Gee, thanks. That's really helpful," I grumble sarcastically.

"Don't snap at me. We could get in serious trouble for this," Scarlett retorts.

"I know. You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous."

"You'll do fine. Just be honest with her," Lizzie soothes me.

When we pull up to the large building, it looks extremely suspicious. It almost looks like a warehouse, with barely any windows in sight. They drop me off by a back door, hidden by some bushes, and tell me to wait for them to come and get me. I do as they say, impatiently pacing back and forth as I practice what I'm going to say.

A clap of thunder echoes through the sky, dark clouds looming above me. "Oh great," I mutter as it starts to rain lightly. A few seconds later, another bolt of lightning strikes and it begins to pour. Raindrops hammer against my skin like pellets, soaking through my clothes almost instantly.

Several long, cold minutes later, the back door opens to reveal Lizzie and Scarlett standing in the doorway.   Scarlett grabs my arm and pulls me inside, immediately setting a fast pace down the narrow hallway. "She's in with the makeup artist. Lizzie is gonna get the artist out and then you'll go in. Got it?" Scarlett rushes out.

"Y-yeah, got it," I stammer. Scarlett pulls me to a stop outside of a door, and Lizzie walks through. Seconds later, Lizzie walks out with another woman and they go down the hall together, talking and laughing.

"That was the artist. Go," Scarlett commands, shoving me into the room and closing the door behind me. Florence turns around to face me, her face morphing into confusion. I hesitate, simply staring at her as I forget everything I practiced. The water is dripping off my skin.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Florence asks apprehensively.

"I needed to talk to you."

[crystalkleure]

If I were to open commissions, would anyone even want them? My art never breaks 20 notes lately, and half the time it doesn’t even get 10.

I also have no idea how to price shit. How much is my art even worth?

[sevlgi]

hit and run

requested: no

group: blackpink

pairing: rosé x fem!reader

genre: a  shit ton of angst, some fluff

contents: idol!rosé, actress!y/n, closeted!rosé, costar!au, slight enemies-to-lovers, unhappy endings because i’m a bitch, a lot of attempted cinematic parallels, italicized dialogue is when they’re speaking as their characters

warnings: slight homophobia

synopsis: There’s absolutely no reason for you to get involved with a costar who you should hate by all accounts. But of course, you manage to forget that love is usually more like a hit-and-run than a cruise ship. 

a/n: while i was writing this, i  imagined this as what happened before rosie sang “gone”, so maybe you can think of it like that too? i’m honestly so terrified of this flopping lmao... 

for a little background on the film: Y/N plays Luna, a pirate captain who unknowingly sacrificed her family in order to have the power to fight the regime that Rosé’s character Helen is a part of. Helen approaches Luna, determined to help her bring justice, but Helen is unable to choose between the benefits of staying with the regime, and following what she knows is right and destroying her life as a result.

word count: 6.8k

The last thing you want to hear on the morning of your first script reading is that the actress playing your love interest in the film has changed.

“What?” you say loudly, straightening in the backseat. Your manager frowns, and you sit obediently, but the scowl doesn’t leave your face. “What do you mean the actress changed?”

“Yeah. She had to leave the movie at the last minute,” he sighs.

Sooyoung was chosen alongside you, after lengthy interviews testing whether the two of you would be able to handle your characters’ dynamic. It took weeks for the director to decide that you were the pair that she wanted, so the news that you’ll be meeting your costar for the first time in front of paparazzi is quite the shock to your system. “Shit. Then who’s the replacement?”

Your manager presses his lips together firmly before answering, “Park Chaeyoung. She’s an idol.”

You groan and slump down again. “Great. Another idol actress? Please don’t tell me that this is her first role too. Oh god, is she straight?”

“Yes to all of the above,” Chan says tensely.

Maybe you’re being dramatic, but it’s honestly a big deal. It’s the first leading role you’ve bagged, especially in a mainstream LGBTQ+ movie, and Sooyoung was the best costar you could’ve picked. You’ve never met Park Chaeyoung before, and you already know that all your plans are going to be messed up.

Chan pulls the car into the parking lot, and you scowl when you realize that most of the paparazzi have arrived. “We’re going around the back. Y/N, promise me one thing: don’t make a scene, okay?” your manager pleads. “I’m not happy about it either, but Chaeyoung has a good reputation. You’ll just ruin yours if you blow up at her.”

“I promise,” you answer through gritted teeth. You slip through the open side door as soon as you get out of the car, ignoring Chan’s call after you to have a good time like you would’ve.

To make matters worse, you don’t even get a chance to talk to the director or Chaeyoung before you’re swarmed by a crowd of reporters, even if that ‘talk’ would’ve consisted of more yelling than anything. “Y/N, Y/N!”

“Okay, let her up!” Seulgi shouts, pushing her way through. She grips your arm to lead you towards the cast table, whispering under her breath, “I’ll explain later. But just run with it, okay?”

You have plenty of problems with idol actresses, but you’ve never been inclined to say all those problems to their faces. Until now, that is.  Now, you’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with a girl you know has absolutely no credentials to be playing the other role in your upcoming movie, resisting the urge to ball your script up and throw it in her face.

There’s nothing wrong with Park Chaeyoung as a person-- she’s admittedly gorgeous, probably sweet, and you’re sure she isn’t a bad actress in any sense. The only thing wrong with the situation is that she’s painfully straight and auditioning to be your love interest in what might be Korea’s first mainstream lesbian film, and that you have never spoken to her before.

Chaeyoung avoids your stare with a clenched jaw, and in normal circumstances, you would already be apologizing profusely for making her uncomfortable. In this circumstance, though, your obvious grudge against her only contributes to the dynamic her character is supposed to have with yours.

“Miss Kang, is it true that the actors were only picked today?” 

The director grimaces, and the both of you turn to look at the cameras flashing by the sides of the room. It was never the plan to allow paparazzi to sit in on the first reading that you and Chaeyoung would be doing together, especially since it’s true that Chaeyoung was only chosen hours ago, after the original actress bailed. Even though your grudge should be against the girl who left, it’s easier to glare at the one sitting next to you. “Not exactly. Y/N has been confirmed for the role of Luna for months, but we recently added Chaeyoung as Helen. But we can assure that their chemistry will be wonderful,” Seulgi reassures the audience. What a lie.

Yet another reporter calls out, “How much of the script will we be seeing today, and when will the trailer be released?”

“Since the casting was changed today, the trailer has been delayed,” Seulgi says. You can hear the panic in her voice, and clear your throat. “As for the script… we’re only doing part of one scene that will show up in the trailer today, so we’ll just let them begin. Y/N?”

As you take a sip of water to prepare yourself, you almost hope that Chaeyoung messes up her part. It would be bad press, sure, and it would only contribute to Seulgi’s stress, but it would be satisfying for her to realize that she doesn’t deserve her part. She’s just an idol, after all, and she’s taking away representation from the people who need it.

“Are you saying you’re better than me?” you begin, your voice ice-cold.

You watch Chaeyoung’s throat bob, but her voice is steady and clear when she says her line. “No! I’m not saying that I’m better than you… but by all accounts, there’s no way you should have this power.”

“Would you be less scared then?” You pause, watch as Chaeyoung’s expression changes to the panic that her character’s would. “I’m kidding, Helen. I did things to get these powers, things that I’m not proud of.”

“Why would you do that? You’re strong… you don’t need them.”

“I’ve never been-- shit.” The tips of your ears start to burn, and suddenly, your lines are swimming before your eyes. Maybe all your hoping and wishing that Chaeyoung messes up has reflected onto you instead.

She attempts to remind you, “I haven’t always--”

“I know,” you hiss, but your voice is too loud in the silent room. Chaeyoung turns bright pink, too, but you still can’t seem to say your lines out loud. Shit, shit, shit--

“I’m just trying to help,” she sighs.

You whip your head to glare at her, and she winces at the daggers you send in her direction. “Shut the hell up--”

“Okay, the script reading will end here,” Seulgi announces loudly, and you bite down hard on your tongue. You don’t dare to look at the other cast members, don’t dare to think about how they must be guilting you for cutting their PR short. “Thank you everyone, please leave with security.”

You stay in your seat, staring at your script with burning eyes until you feel a hand on your shoulder and jolt. “Hey,” Chaeyoung reminds you, “we can leave.”

“Don’t touch me” is your only answer, and you storm out of the room. Alone.

The next time you see Chaeyoung is the next day, at a script-reading that the paparazzi knows nothing about. (You do see a friend request from a Park Chaeyoung the night before, but you ignore it.)

Seulgi attempts a smile, but it doesn’t hide the bags under her eyes. She claps and raises her voice to get the cast’s attention. “Okay, everyone. We didn’t get what we wanted yesterday, but that’s fine. Um… let’s try yesterday’s scene from Chaeyoung’s part, okay? From ‘you don’t need them’.”

Chaeyoung nods. “You’re strong… you don’t need them,” she starts, worry tinging into her voice.

“I haven’t always been strong,” you reply, your voice harsher than it should be just to stop yourself from messing up again.

“Still. Powers aren’t everything, Luna, it’s too hard to have them.”

You sigh. “Newsflash, princess. It’s harder not to.”

“But--” Chaeyoung interjects.

“Did you ever think,” you cut her off, “that I didn’t care that it’d be hard? Did you ever think that the rest of us are tired of you abusing the thing that you’re given, but we have to fight for?”

You look right to Seulgi once you finish, ignoring the part underneath that says you should look to Chaeyoung at the end of the scene. The director smiles anyway. “That was great, you two. I think you capture the tension perfectly, which is a relief.”

You fight the urge to laugh. “I know that changing our main cast so close to the actual production is really difficult,” Seulgi sighs. “And I’m really sorry to inconvenience you all. The schedule is really squished now, and we just have to work through it. Chaeyoung, Y/N, all I ask is that you try to work together, okay? I know you’ll be amazing together.”

Chaeyoung speaks, possibly for the first time besides her lines. “Of course, Ms. Bae. I’ll do my best.”

“I’m sure. We have to cut this short, again, but we’re scheduled for costume fitting right now,” Seulgi groans. “We have to at least get the outfits for the trailer to fit. Sorry, everyone. Down the hall, okay?”

Of course, you and Chaeyoung have to get fit together. The only sound in the hallway is that of her heels clicking on the wood, and you resist the urge to shout at her to stop. Luckily, you arrive in the fitting room before you can.

Your eyes widen at the dress hanging there. It’s incredible, even without the layers that would support the skirt-- you can’t even imagine how the beading and pink silk would look on Chaeyoung. Ethereal, probably. “Y/N, yours is here,” the costume director laughs, beckoning you over.

Even though your own outfit isn’t nearly as opulent, you can’t help but admire the gold detailing on the cuffs and the tailoring. “Thank god yours doesn’t take so much sewing,” the director grunts, pinning the side. “You know, the two of you are going to look fantastic in these, even if we have to spill all that blood on them to shoot the trailer.”

“Sooyoung would’ve looked better.” It’s mean, and it’s a low blow, but the director doesn’t take your bait.

She pokes her head out to where Chaeyoung’s being fitted. “Now? Okay, Y/N, go out there. We need to take a look at the two of you together.”

You can’t stop your jaw from dropping when you see Chaeyoung. She’s all candyfloss hair and gold adorning her tiny waist, and in all her glory, you can’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe she was made for the role. “You look really good,” she compliments softly.

Nodding stiffly, you turn for the seamstresses. Chaeyoung moves to fiddle with her gloves when she realizes that you have absolutely no interest in continuing the conversation.

Well, if there’s one thing you can nitpick about her, it isn’t how she looks; she looks absolutely perfect for the role of Princess Helen, maybe even more perfect than Sooyoung. 

One of the costume directors steps in. “Okay, you can get changed out, but you have to come back in a few hours,” she tells you. “We have to make a lot of changes, then fit you again.”

You step down from the podium, going towards your dressing room without a second thought until Chaeyoung calls for you. “Y/N? Do you want to have lunch later? In your trailer or something?”

“Sure,” you answer, barely glancing back. When you do, all you see is her with shiny puppy eyes, and in her giant gown, it’s eerily similar to the role she’s supposed to be playing.

“It’s nice. You’ve decorated it?”

You nod absentmindedly, clearing the narrow couch off for yourself to sit on, since Chaeyoung has taken the only chair that could fit in the trailer. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve had it for a few months, so.”

She winces. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you frown. Chaeyoung apologizes too much, but at least she’s upfront about whatever she has to say.

Your costar sighs, “For usurping the role? You must’ve gotten attached to Sooyoung, and it’s got to be horrible for me to just… arrive like this.”

“You know… that’s part of it.” You can’t lie; a big part of the resentment you hold against Chaeyoung is the fact that she took a role meant for someone else, someone you were friends with. “The other thing… I don’t like idol actresses,” you tell her.

Chaeyoung’s brows furrow, and she leans forward. “Why? I mean, why don’t you?”

You pause to think about it. “Well… I mean, think about it like this. Sooyoung and my auditions went for weeks before we were chosen, as a pair. Didn’t you get this role because you were an idol? You had to audition, sure, but I bet you just flashed a few smiles and read the script and got chosen. How is that fair?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but you hold your hand up and continue, “And the other thing. You’re straight.”

Chaeyoung chokes on air at that, spluttering, “What? You hate me because I’m straight?”

“No,” you say incredulously, “Well, I don’t hate you. But you being straight, and landing the lead role in a film like this… you’re taking away representation. And that’s kind of shitty of you.”

The air inside the trailer becomes suffocating, and Chaeyoung’s fiddling with the jacket in her lap finally stops when she throws it aside and stands up. She sounds like she’s about to cry when she says quietly, “Have you ever considered that I’m not straight? It’s not… it’s not that easy to be out about it--”

“Oh, cry me a river,” you groan. “Look, I apologize for assuming, but if you want to act in lesbian roles, you can’t pretend to be straight. It’s all for your fans, isn’t it? Another part of being an idol--”

She stands up, then storms right out of the trailer without another word, the door banging closed. The only thing you can do in response is sigh and utter a quiet, “Shit”.

Perhaps it’s just your luck that the first proper scene you have to film with Chaeyoung is your culminating kiss scene.

It shouldn’t be in the trailer at all-- according to the scene schedule, the two of you would’ve filmed your scenes together in chronological order, and the kiss would’ve been at the end, hopefully after a reconciliation between the two of you. However, for some inexplicable reason, it’s going to be the first one you do, without a single second of rehearsal.

You’re a one-take wonder, and you always have been, but you can’t help but think about how impossible it’s going to be to pull off such an intense scene with someone you just fought with. Sighing, you lean over to fiddle with your hair; it’s slightly tangled now, and there’s a fake scrape on the side of your cheek. 

At a side, Chaeyoung is similarly beat up, fake blood smeared on the left side of her face. Her long hair has been put in an updo and then taken down, and parts of her dress are ripped; to you, she looks more like Helen than herself now.

“Okay, everyone, are we ready? Positions, please!”

You arrange yourself on the ground where you should be, holding a handkerchief to your cheek like instructed as Chaeyoung stands by the camera to run to you. Exhaling sharply, your eyes meet hers for the first time in days. “Action!”

Chaeyoung sprints to you as soon as she’s cued, falling in front of you in a heap. “Luna,” she gasps, reaching a gloved hand out to the ‘injured’ half of your face.

“I’m fine,” you smile weakly. The camera hovers by Chaeyoung’s shoulder, and you soften your gaze as much as possible as your hand comes up to hers.

The other girl only moves closer, her eyes scanning yours and her dress surrounding the both of you like a sea of gauze. Her nose is almost brushing up against yours, and you mutter softly, “Be careful. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want.”

“Well, what do you want?” Chaeyoung implores, almost inaudible. Her breath quivers, and you feel it when you reach forward to cup her jaw. “Luna, what do you want right now?”

“I’m not making a move until you tell me to,” you shake your head. 

The blonde’s hands slip off your face, and she braces herself on your thighs instead. She laughs breathily, “Coward.”

“Your coward, huh?”

Chaeyoung pauses, scraping her teeth across her bottom lip. It’s so quiet that you think you could hear a pin drop, and the torches held up by the crew flicker across her face so naturally. “If you want to be.”

There’s probably another line that comes after, but with Chaeyoung so close to you, it swims blurrily in your mind. So instead, you just lean up, pull her down, and connect your lips.

She plays along, thankfully, stumbling slightly in her character’s eagerness to get a little closer. The only thing you can hear is Chaeyoung’s slight gasp when you let your hands wander down to her waist, and it’s almost scary how absorbed you are in the scene.

“Okay, cut!” Seulgi’s shout breaks you from your trance, and you hold your hands up as if in surrounder. Chaeyoung’s cheeks are red yet again when she sits up, staring anywhere other than you.

Your director hops off her chair to run towards you, a huge grin on her face. “That was perfect,” she shouts. “Y/N, I think you forgot a line? But it worked out amazingly. The one-take wonder, right?”

You grin when she pats you on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. Apparently, all your worries were for nothing, as you and Chaeyoung stand to monitor your own shot in the screen next to Joohyun.

You can’t even hear all the praise she showers on the two of you, and you pay no attention to all the details she points out that apparently showcase your perfect chemistry with your costar. All you feel is a slight squeeze on your hand, hidden in the mess of fabric by your side.

You jolt awake at the sound of your phone ringing loudly by your side, finding an unknown number as the caller ID. Accepting hesitantly, you greet, “Hello?”

“Y/N? Did Chan give me the right number?”

Oh. It’s Chaeyoung. “Yeah.” You clear your throat in an attempt to sound a little less drowsy, then repeat, “Right number. Why’d you ask Chan?”

“Well, it’s kinda hard to find you when you never accepted my request,” she laughs quietly. “Um, I have to record the OST today, and I was wondering whether you’d want to come watch? Chan said you didn’t really have any scenes later today.”

“Um. Okay. I’ll ask Chan to bring me,” you answer, then hang up. Your head swims slightly, partially due to the fact that you woke up to the piercing sound of your ringtone and partially because you just don’t understand why Chaeyoung’s reaching out again. You should be the one apologizing, after the tangent you went off on, and you highly doubt that your kiss scene doubled as an apology. Of course, you’ll take it.

Your manager is more than pleased to pick you up this time, but thankfully, he doesn’t question you. If he did, he’d probably be the one you shouted at.

The studio is honestly too small for two people, probably hastily set up, but you recognize the recording equipment from a video of Chaeyoung recording one of her group’s songs. And you recognize the girl already standing in the recording booth, waving you over. “Hi,” she smiles, and for all you try, you don’t see a hint of malice.

“Hey,” you mumble, taking a seat. “Uh… I’m sorry.”

“Wow, straightforward,” she tries to joke. “What for?”

You scratch the back of your neck, sighing, “For assuming, for blowing up on you, for… I don’t know, kind of everything. I’m an asshole, even if what I said wasn’t wrong.”

Chaeyoung chuckles, fiddling with the mic. “I mean, I appreciate the apology, but I wasn’t great either. You definitely had some truth behind what you said, even if it was kind of too to the point.”

“I know. You were just trying to apologize and help us become civil, and I kind of ruined it,” you hum. The other girl adjusts the lyric stand as you continue, “But I’m hoping you understand why I had to say what I did?”

“I do,” she agrees. “You’re definitely right that it’s not good representation at all, I just wish you had heard me out.”

You nod uncomfortably, changing the way you sit on the couch just to distract yourself. “So… you’re gay? I’m just asking because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about it, and I’ve seen plenty of your interviews.”

“So you watch my interviews?” Chaeyoung teases. When you scowl, she just smiles, “I can’t say specifically, but I am confused. You said last time that it’s just another part of being an idol, and you’re… you’re right. It’s taboo for idols to be gay, even though Korea’s opening up to it a bit more now. So even though I want to, I don’t think I can ever be out about it.”

“I understand. And I’m sorry,” you say quietly.

She swallows, throat bobbing. “Thank you. Hey, Y/N… would you mind singing with me?”

“What?” You stare up at her incredulously; it’s not like your singing would make the other girl faint on the spot, but you definitely don’t possess an angelic voice like hers, either.

But maybe it’s an olive branch. “Just… can you match this note?” She hums, and you attempt to create the same pitch. “Okay. Can you do the chorus part in that key, while I do it in the main one? We’ll sound better like that,” Chaeyoung offers.

Against your better judgement, you stand, and shuffle into the recording booth next to her. “If this sounds bad, you’re taking the blame,”  you warn, and she giggles while twisting the stand so you can see.

You do sound good together, maybe to a level that you would’ve never anticipated.

You know that something’s off when Chan doesn’t wake you up bright and early on your birthday, even if Seulgi already promised that you wouldn’t have to go to work on the day of. After spending many a birthday with him, you’ve already gotten used to him tugging you up just to take you outside and celebrate somehow.

You know something’s especially off when you hear a female voice cursing from your kitchen, and smell something burning.

“Who the shit-- Chaeyoung?”

The girl turns in surprise, caught red-handed with a piece of burnt toast pinched between her fingers. “Um. Hi?” she offers weakly.

Suddenly self-conscious, you cross your arms over the faded sweatshirt you wear. In your own apartment, Chaeyoung is leagues more put-together in the summery dress she wears, her dyed hair tossed in a braid and glitter shining at the corners of her eyes. “Hello?”

“Chan said you wouldn’t be awake for a few hours,” she sighs, shaking her head as she tosses the toast in the trash. “And I wasn’t supposed to burn the toast.”

“What were you supposed to do?” you question, stepping closer. There’s a cake box on the counter, as well as a couple suspicious tubes of icing right by it, and you think you know what’s going on.

Chaeyoung huffs out an exasperated breath. “I was supposed to surprise you. Chan has something going on at home, so he sent me to supervise your birthday instead. Obviously, I messed that up.”

“It’s fine,” you shrug, taking a seat at the counter and reaching for the icing. “I’ve always wanted to decorate a cake anyway.”

She looks surprised at that, but a smile breaks out across her face. “Really?”

“Really,” you confirm. It’s partially a lie, but you’re decently sure that Chaeyoung will refuse to let you do most of the work anyways. “Uh. I’ll just change first, and then we can get that going?”

“Yeah,” she grins, and you take it as your cue to scurry off to the bedroom.

By the time you come back, there’s a plate of not-burnt toast on your counter, and Chaeyoung’s pouring out two glasses of the juice that you can never bring yourself to buy because of the price tag. “I hope you like it, this is one of my favorites.”

“Like it? I love this,” you gasp, surging forward to pick up one of the glasses. “It’s expensive as hell, though.”

“Well, I couldn’t get you a gift, so I thought a nice morning would suffice,” Chaeyoung laughs. She unties the bow on the cake box to reveal a completely bare vanilla cake, a few packets of sprinkles that you hadn’t noticed now lying next to it. “Do you want to start?”

“Oh, sure.” You choose the blue icing after a bit of debating, and pick up the spatula that your costar offers you. “You didn’t have to, though, I would’ve been okay on my own today.”

Chaeyoung shrugs, “I mean, I didn’t have anything else to do, and I wouldn’t like to be alone on my birthday.”

“How do you usually celebrate?” you question, glancing up at her.

She pauses to think, then answers, “Well, I do live with my members, so we’ll get something to eat. Sometimes, we’re on vacation, so we just do what we can, but I like staying in the dorm to receive the things that their families send me.”

“It sounds sweet.”

“It is,” she grins. “I honestly don’t know what I would do on my own, it seems lonely-- Oh. I’m sorry.”

“What for? It is kind of lonely,” you admit, squeezing a glob of icing out. It’s definitely not as graceful as you would’ve appreciated, and you catch Chaeyoung stifling a laugh. “Chan lived with me at the beginning, but he eventually moved out when I got a girlfriend. Obviously, that didn’t laugh.”

“Sorry,” the other girl repeats again, and you wave a hand out. “When was that?”

“She moved out two years ago,” you answer. “And I’ve been alone since. Or, lonely, not always alone.”

Chaeyoung nods just so that you know she heard you. She accepts the icing tube when you hand it to her, making a spiral that’s infuriatingly better than yours. “How about you? I know you said you aren’t out, but have you dated yet?” you question.

She shakes her head, admitting, “Not yet. I don’t really know how to, you know? You assumed I was straight when you first saw me, so I think everyone else does too.”

“Sorry,” you say, an echo of her.

Your costar doesn’t respond, only setting the spatula down once the basic blue icing is smooth. “I think we’re supposed to refrigerate this before decorating, right?”

You grimace. “Well, I don’t know. I stopped watching cake videos years ago, so I’ll just listen to you.”

Chaeyoung hums and ties the box back up. “Okay, then I’ll just do it. Um, do you mind ordering chicken or something while we wait?”

“Sure.” Reaching for your phone, you ask, “Would you be opposed to romcoms?”

“I’m never opposed to romcoms,” the other girl answers.

You have to remind yourself to order two servings of chicken, something that you haven’t done in a while. But it’s comforting, in a way, to not be alone again.

“Can you believe we’ve only got a week left of filming? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”

You wince guiltily, even though you know that Yerim doesn’t mean it. Acting with your friend was originally a huge incentive for you to accept the film’s role, but the two of you quickly discovered that you had almost no scenes together, and with your push-and-pull with Chaeyoung, you forgot all about it. “Sorry, Yerim.”

She makes an incredulous expression, swatting your arm. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I’m happy you’re pursuing love and all that, and besides, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to act together.”

Blinking, you set your cup down on the counter. “Pursuing love?”

Yerim raises her eyebrow and says, “Yeah. Aren’t you and Chaeyoung together yet? We’ve been filming for two months, I’ll be shocked if you still haven't kissed and made up.”

“Uh. Well, we’ve kissed, but I don’t think it counted,” you frown. 

Your friend sighs and rolls her eyes. She’s all too used to how dense you are, and apparently, she’s finally gotten tired of it. “You’re an idiot. You literally met the morning of your first script reading, and you knew each other for… what, a week before you had your kiss scene? There’s got to be something there.”

“No.”

Right on cue, a few of the other cast members arrive, Chaeyoung sandwiched between them. “Have you seen the articles?” Nayeon grins, waving her phone around in the air. She’s drunk, obviously, but you have to indulge her.

“Which articles?”

She shoves the screen in your face as an answer, and you cringe when you find a screencap of you and Chaeyoung. “You won’t believe the chemistry-- nope, I’m not reading that.” You hand the phone back to Nayeon, then press it in her hand when she doesn’t take it. Yerim sends you a knowing expression, one that you definitely don’t like.

“Aw, come on! It’s good press,” Nayeon whines. “And a great kiss scene.”

“Don’t be weird,” Chaeyoung warns. She doesn’t seem to be drunk at all, though she does look fantastic in the silver dress that she wears. Your eyes linger on her for an embarrassing amount of time.

Nayeon pouts. She’s bubbly-- you’ve learned that much through acting alongside her in a total of three productions so far. You note that your costar doesn’t seem to be so accustomed to her temperament yet. “You’re no fun, Chaeng. We all know you enjoyed it.”

She goes bright pink at that amidst Yerim’s joking coos. “The token straight, converted?” your friend gasps, and you elbow her to stop her from going too far.

Apparently, it already has. “I didn’t!” Chaeyoung defends herself.

“Prove it,” Nayeon demands, slipping when she attempts to lean on the counter next to you.

Chaeyoung goes silent at that, apparently unable to find a way to ‘prove it’. You finally sigh, “Okay, I think that’s enough teas--”

If it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve long since memorized your entire script book, you would almost think that Chaeyoung reaching forward to tug on the front of your shirt is a scene between your two characters. After all, it’s perfectly in character for your eyes to widen comically as the other girl kisses you right on the lips. 

It’s also in character for Nayeon to start whooping next to you when your hands wrap around Chaeyoung’s waist to pull her in closer. You part at the noise. “You certainly look like you liked it,” Nayeon grins. 

“Yeah, get a room,” Yerim follows, and you shove her.

“You know what? Maybe we will.” Ignoring your friends’ jeering, you grab Chaeyoung’s wrist and lead her down the hallway, though not to a bedroom like you joked you would. “Hey. You okay? I didn’t know if that teasing crossed a line,” you whisper worriedly.

She bites down on her lip, but instead of answering you, Chaeyoung tilts your face up and leans closer, only stopped by your hand on her wrist. “Chae…”

“I’m sorry, this… this isn’t what you want, is it?” She steps back, mouth already opening to apologize, but you stop her from leaving you alone in the hallway.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” With the flashing neon lights echoing in her eyes, you can’t tell what Chaeyoung’s feeling, and you can’t tell if she’s willing to answer you properly at all. “I’m not making a move until you tell me to.”

Still, you don’t hear her say a word, until your grip starts to loosen on her wrist. “Did you drive here yourself?” she finally asks, barely audible. You nod hesitantly, and Chaeyoung’s voice grows firmer when she says, “I’m telling you to make a move.”

“I thought you were questioning?”

She swallows hard and takes your hand. “Not anymore.”

You don’t taste any alcohol when you lick your lower lip, and so, you nod. It’s stupid, especially considering how quickly your time together is about to end.

But for once, you know what you want.

“Good luck out there, Chae,” you smile, arms wrapped around the girl’s waist. 

“Thanks,” she hums, adjusting her hair yet again in the mirror. “We’re almost done filming, I have to promote us well so that we have enough money to at least put the damn film out.”

“Mm.” Your thumb smooths over the sliver of skin exposed by her top, and you place your chin on her shoulder to look at the two of you together.

She glances down at you. “What? Are you thinking about something?”

“Sort of,” you shrug. “I just can’t believe we’re almost done, but we… we just started this. You know, this thing between us.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely a thing. But it doesn’t have to stop with filming,” Chaeyoung says offhandedly.

Raising an eyebrow, you question, “Doesn’t it? It’s going to be suspicious for us to constantly be seen together after filming together, I’ve seen the way your fans behave. Especially while you’re not out.”

“I think I can negotiate that with my company,” the other girl shakes her head.

You joke, “What, you release another two albums if you get to come out about having a girlfriend?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Chaeyoung responds immediately. Her ears pink endearingly, and you wait for her to clarify, “In secret for now, obviously. But… one day, I’ll be out about it. I promise.”

“Don’t make empty promises, okay?” You press a kiss to her bare shoulder and let her go when you hear a knock at the dressing room door. “Do good!”

“Alright, Chaeyoung, it’s about time that we ask you some questions about your upcoming film, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” your costar smiles, and you raise your head from your phone to watch the screen. She’s sitting cross-legged across from some of the most famous idol interviewers in Korea, absolutely poised and natural even in front of the crowd that cheers over the interview.

The woman behind the podium clears her throat. “A huge talking point in Korea right now is your chemistry with your costar, Y/N. How exactly do you pull that off, since you’ve never experienced a relation like that?”

Chaeyoung laughs nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh. Well, um, I don’t have much experience with relationships at all, so--”

“Really? A pretty girl like you must have had a boyfriend or two before.” You despise the way that the interviewer leans in conspiratorially, as if the prying questions weren’t completely scripted. “But you seem a little to pretty to have experienced that, am I right?”

The crowd laughs with her, but Chaeyoung glances behind the scenes, probably to where her own staff sits. “You know, you can tell me if you ever felt… uncomfortable during filming,” the interviewer continues on. “Y/N has been out for years, hasn’t she?”

“Oh, she has…” You’re practically fuming, but you also can’t seem to pry your eyes away from the screen. All of Chaeyoung’s practiced idol-charm has seemed to dissipate into thin air, and she’s practically blending into the wall as she sits there.

The Chaeyoung you know-- no, the Chaeyoung that you’ve come to know, wouldn’t stand to hear something like that. You’ve watched her argue with a scriptwriter, and you’ve watched him get fired because he said something incredibly offensive, even though it wasn’t about you. But here, she sits still and just listens to the interviewer discuss you behind your back, and she says nothing about all the disgustingly backhanded comments.

The thing is, you don’t care about Chaeyoung not being out. You were closeted for enough time yourself, and you know how hard it is, so you’d never wish it on her; but watching her completely let go of all her personal principles just for a stupid interview is just another reminder that you’re letting go of your own. Chaeyoung won’t ever speak up, you realize, because her career comes before anything else. And you can’t stand for that.

“I’m leaving,” you tell the guard standing outside of your door. Only increasing your anger, tears start to burn in your eyes, and you scrape your sleeve across your face as roughly as you can. Chan picks up on one dial, and you say furiously, “Pick me up. It’s over.” In more ways than one.

Chaeyoung shivers at the top of the hill, where she’s supposed to be filming her closing scene with you. She hasn’t seen you for the past week, and after how disastrous her interview was, she’s pretty sure she knows why.

“Where’s Y/N?” she finally asks her makeup artist, giving in to her own curiosity.

Felix shrugs, reaching to mess with the blood on her hairline. “I have no idea, honestly, I haven’t seen her yet. She’s never late, though, you don’t have to worry. You’ll get your scene done.”

“That’s…” Chaeyoung sighs. That’s why she should be worried. “Right.”

“Okay, can we start?” Seulgi shouts. It’s started to rain, but with the excited look on the director’s face, Chaeyoung figures that it suits the scene even better than the gray clouds that had been planned. “Great. Chaeyoung, Y/N!”

Your hair is plastered to your forehead with the rain, and water makes your blouse cling to your curves; with the grim expression on your face, Chaeyoung could easily just mistake you for your character. “Hi,” you mutter, taking a seat on the grass right next to your costar. You say nothing else.

When cued, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath before her line. “Luna. I love you.”

For a second, Chaeyoung thinks you won’t respond, but the rasp to your voice proves her wrong. “No. No, you don’t.”

“I think I’m the one who should be deciding that, don’t you?” The blonde raises her eyebrows, reaching forward hesitantly for your shoulder.

Of course, you dodge it. Blinking the rain out of your eyes, you’re resigned when you ask, “You have your birthday gala tonight, don’t you?”

“Yes, but--” Chaeyoung swallows, lets her hand make contact, then continues, “I’m spending as much time as I can with you, aren’t I with you right now?”

“But you’re going.” It feels like you’re staring right into Chaeyoung’s soul when you speak, as despondent as your voice is. She nods, and you stand, her hand slipping off of your shoulder and into her lap. “Then go. You’re still a princess at the end of the day, aren’t you?”

“At the end of the day, yes…”

“You can’t do that. You sneak out onto my ships, get my people to love you and protect you, and then turn right back to your family to stay safe while we die for you. You can’t say you support our cause and then go back on it when it’s inconvenient for you, it doesn’t work like that!” Chaeyoung flinches at how intense you sound; at this point, she barely knows if it’s still acting. She can only hear her own heart in her ears, can only see your chest heaving from how quickly you spoke, and it all feels too real.

“What, do you want me to get found out?” Chaeyoung demands, getting to her feet as well. The rain becomes harsher, angled so that it perfectly blurs her vision of you. “I’ve saved your ass just as many times too, don’t pretend like I’m not a valuable part of your ship!”

“You’re still pretending.” Realizing that it’s not the right line, Chaeyoung opens her mouth to stop you, but your voice chills her into silence when you speak again. “You’ll always pretend, as long as it benefits you, won’t you? You can’t do that, Helen, not if you ‘love me’. Putting a crown on your head doesn’t mean that you’re a princess. Until you realize that, and until you’re willing to embrace it, you don’t love me. and I don’t love you.”

None of it is the script. None of it is the scene that you rehearsed a thousand times together in your trailer, but somehow, it makes Chaeyoung’s heart quaver in her throat so much more than the original lines ever did.

And when you drop your gaze to the ground, turning to walk off into the rain alone, she knows that to you, your entire relationship is already done.

[borhap-au]

A hidden motif. 

“Kick harder!” he screamed, snapping me out of my thoughts. I immediately began to push myself further, even though I was already exhausted from the hour-long training. Billy didn’t treat me leniently at all. He demanded a lot from me, honestly, I often felt like I was the only one who was pushed to the limits by him. The rest had it much easier with Billy. Now he held the punching bag, as I was repeatedly kicking it.

“They won’t go easy on you! When you fight, you fight for your life! They won’t care that you’re tired!” he continued, and I stopped myself from kicking him “by accident,” and just continued to kick the bag. I knew where he was coming from and he was right. My exhaustion wouldn’t matter on a mission, nobody would ask me how I felt and if I still had the strength to fight back. They would simply kill me, or imprison me, and since we’re talking about terrorists, I wasn’t sure which option would be worse. But today I had enough. I really only wanted to lay down in bed, in full clothing, and fall asleep. Nothing mattered, not even my empty stomach. I just wanted to close my eyes and drift off, but Billy continued to push.

“You wouldn’t knock a ninety year old grandma over with that kick!” he attacked my technique and honestly, at this point I had enough of him and his denouncing language. Whatever I did was wrong in his view, he never felt satisfied with me and what I was doing. So I stopped kicking, threw the boxing gloves on the mat and just exhaled loudly.

“And I wouldn’t want to! What a monster would want to hurt a grandma? Probably the same who wouldn’t give a girl who barely has the strength to stand on her feet a fucking break!” I shouted in his face and turned around. He quickly grabbed me by my wrist to stop me.

“Leave me alone,” I continued, but this time I wasn’t screaming. I was exhausted and the tone of my voice confirmed it. I felt resigned, mad, and disappointed in myself. I couldn’t understand why I could never, no matter what, meet his standards and expectations.

“I want to go drink some water,” I said and turned my head to look him in the eyes. His face was dangerously close to mine as he looked at me with a firm look on his face. He wanted to say something, probably tell me that the training session isn’t over until he says it’s over, but I didn’t allow him to speak. I didn’t feel like long speeches, I didn’t want to explain myself to him. My message was clear, short and quick.

“Go fuck yourself, Billy,” I said and took my hand away. He wasn’t holding me firmly, he wasn’t trying to hurt me, just wanted to stop me so that he could express his views to my face instead of my back, however, I didn’t allow for it. Not anymore, not today. Today was over, as far as I was concerned, and only my opinion mattered to me.

Billy was so surprised by what he’s heard, he didn’t even answer. I went across the room to the table and took one of the water bottles, then gulped down half of it. He looked at me without saying a word for a solid second.

“Alright, you had your drink, and you’ve thrown your tantrum, now we can get back to the training,” he insisted, but I only smiled ironically, took my things and left the room.

“Goodnight, Billy,” I said on my way out and didn’t stop to listen to what he wanted to say to me. As I promised my body, I went straight to bed, only gathering the little energy I had left to take my clothes off, so I didn’t sleep in my own sweat. I slept for a solid 12 hours after that. I had to get all of my strength back and frankly, sleeping helped a lot. However, I still felt sore, my whole body was screaming for a pill to ease the pain. I barely managed to finish taking a shower. I ate a big breakfast and grabbed a soda. I got out in front of my trailer, sat on an old couch, and just rested.

Meanwhile Billy was confronted by the rest of the team over his harsh methods. They saw me yesterday coming back to the trailer, but none of them dared to disturb me. They knew it wasn’t the first time Billy pushed me to check the limits. This time even he knew he went too far. So he came to me, asked if he could sat down on the couch, and when I refused, still mad from yesterday, he simply sat on the ground in front of me. The view was quite endearing.

“Listen… I wanted to apologize. I know I went too far yesterday… and on a few other occasions. I didn’t mean for you to suffer, I just wanted to make 100% sure that if there’s a need, you will be able to protect yourself. I didn’t want you to ever find yourself in a situation where the opponent is stronger and has more resilience than you,” his voice was surprisingly soft. He sounded sincere.

“I’m already capable of protecting myself well enough. Thank you very much,” I said ironically and still a little mad from yesterday. Every inch of my body reminded me of how he treated me.

“No, you don’t understand. I NEED you to be safe,” his words almost shocked me. I looked at him with disbelief. Did he really mean it, I wondered.

“Why would you want that so badly? You don’t seem to treat any other member of the team so roughly,” I reminded him. I was salty about it and had a good reason for it.

“Because I don’t care for any other member of the team as much as I care about you,” he explained, but I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t say anything.

“Listen…” he continued. “I… really like you. And that one time, when that guy kicked you off the boat… I thought I lost you. I couldn’t bear the thought, so when you survived, I promised myself I’ll make sure you’ll never find yourself in a hopeless situation like that ever again. I can’t allow it, this job is too risky.” I was astonished. Deep down, I actually believed he hated me. He acted as if he did, that’s for sure. But he did it all because he liked me? Because he was afraid I’d die?

“I’d actually prefer if you didn’t fight at all,” he added. “I’d take all the punches for you if you let me.” At this point he sounded crazy. What happened to the Billy I knew? I sighed quietly and made him some space on the couch. He made sure his trousers are clean and sat down with me, thanking me for allowing him to do that.

“What do you want from me, Billy?” I asked, unsure. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore, it was as if everything I knew up until this point just disappeared.

“Just be safe, that’s all,” he answered simply. I looked at him for a while.

“You told me you really like me and you’d take the punches for me and you expect me to just return to everyday life after this?” I asked with a little disbelief, since it was simply impossible.

“Well…” he looked as if he wanted to say more, but he just added: “I don’t know.” It clearly wasn’t enough. I slowly put my head on his shoulder. I was still mad and I was definitely planning to have a long talk about his behavior towards me and how many things needed changing moving forward. However, right now I had no strength, and he apologized for what he did, so I gave him a pass for today. We sat like that for a little longer, and neither of us said a word.

On the next training session, a few days later, when I already started feeling better, he was much more careful and lenient with me. He asked me how I felt several times and made sure I didn’t overwork myself. He gave me directions rather than orders and it really felt like I learnt much more from that approach.

Sometime later, I allowed him to ask me on a date. I never saw him so nervous and excited at the same time. We actually had surprisingly good time, so we had many more. He wasn’t rough or tough with me ever again. He explained in more detail how he only wanted me to be able to protect myself, and didn’t care if I hated him for it as long as I was safe. He was rather clumsy and awkward at times when it came to relationships, but it was rather sweet as well. So we continued dating, became official, and happened to be the best partners on the team, working together since that day on.

“Look out!” I screamed and Billy dodged a guy who I threw out of the boat to the water. He smiled and walked up to me, putting his arm around me.

“That was great. You look hot with all that power in your hands,” he commented with a smirk.

“You’re not going to tell me to go harder?” I asked and smirked as well.

“Not until we’re around other people, no,” he winked at me.

“You guys are disgusting,” we’ve heard One’s comment.

“Thank you,” I chuckled and Billy kissed my lips.

[burnedbyshoto]

good little omega

— He was an alpha, you were an omega. Can I make it anymore obvious? He was a crime boss and you were a movie star. What more can I say? Oh, he wanted you, really wanted you, but you swore you would never, ever need an alpha.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: alpha!shigaraki tomura x omega fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, abo/omegaverse, chad alpha!shiggy, virgin celeb!reader, kidnapping, drugging, sex slave auction, biting/marking, belly bulge, knotting, sex toys, heat, implied murder (lol rip shigsters last omegas), mind break, breeding, degradation, finger fucking, fucking in front of a crowd, modern world!au

word count: 6,174

a/n: this goes out to my shiggy stans. I never understood you until recently and now I blush like a schoolgirl when I see him. mondays are so busy, are they not? ive been home for 6 hours today wtf????

kinktober day 12 main kink: abo/omegaverse | kinktober masterlist

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You sat before the mirror, your eyes intently staring at your reflection. The people around you running around, chaotically bringing brushes and pencils to your face, the smell of chemicals in the air, tickling your overly sensitive nose. 

“Are we ready?! Is Y/n ready?! I don’t think she’s ready?! We need to be out of here in five minutes, people, let’s hurry it up!”

Breaking your gaze from your reflection onto your agent in the background, you sighed softly at the growing sour and distressed omega pheromones. Oh, you realized suddenly, your nose unable to keep from scrunching at the mildewy detergent scent, they were really stressed out.

Today was the night of the biggest award show one could attend as a movie star celebrity in Japan. The Motion Picture Awards gave only the most prestigious and prodigious actors and actresses their due. A night of fashion, alcohol, and nervous pheromone pumping alphas and betas in a single room to reveal who was the best this year. Working in an industry such as your own, you had become quite the living legend already at the mere age of twenty-two.

As an omega, you grew up in a society that banned you from enlisting or attempting to join the ranks of the best in just about every field of focus or study. So that even included the area of acting. Casting Directors had always said the same thing each and every time you were forced to present your secondary gender to them all when being called back for auditions.

‘Omegas can’t be movie stars, your heats are too often and too long, they cause rifts in filming schedules this project cannot afford.’

‘We have too many prime alphas on set. Our film's projected main character is an alpha, we wouldn’t want to be caught up in a lawsuit should she find you to be too… fertile.’

‘Omegas can only be good, suitable nurtures and well, mothers. This movie just seems a bit too intense for a little omega like you!’

Omegas can’t do this, omegas can’t do that. Alphas, the pride of society, couldn’t be made to hold themselves back to your alluring scent and occasional heats. Betas, the majority of the population, didn’t feel a challenge when working alongside omegas. Omegas? Well, if there were any that actually existed within the film industry, they were for sure never heard from, or seen of.

At the age of eighteen, you had nearly given up on your long aspiring desire to become the first omega actor or actress to ever grace the scene. But just as you were ready to tell your agent that you were tired of all of the same, repetitive bullshit, a gentle alpha had approached you with an exciting role in mind for you.

Movies and cinematic films had always showcased omegas as sweet, nurturing individuals. For the most part, you agreed that that’s how you omegas were. You enjoyed hugging your close friends, scenting them softly as means of a small pack you had created as none of you were mated this young, yet didn’t ever wish to be bothered by self-righteous alphas or betas. Through many, many biology courses revolving around your secondary gender, you knew that the hormones that made you an omega also affected the brain to accept and view things in a… softer light. But unlike what they taught in school, and unlike what the alphas in society knew about omegas as they could never honestly watch an omega in heat while alone, was that omegas weren’t always the most nurturing or kind.

The week before your heat, the week of, and the week following your heat, you were always irritable, angry, almost cold. You’d flash your small fangs at anyone who dared to approach you with a scent you hated, your heat room never once escaping with everything torn to shreds, and you definitely did not wish to seek any fiber of soft love.

So when the alpha male sat in front of you, a single fang poking out of his lip as he exposed his neck in a motion of vulnerability and conceding to you — the omega — you knew he was serious.

He explained to you his plan on creating a more realistic movie surrounding the brutal truths of what being a single omega was like. Films had, after all, had always depicted omegas as being mated the moment they presented and going as far as saying that there were others means to be coupled to other alphas without actually being marked. It was atrociously wrong of the omega lifestyle, and it always made your stomach curl to see that it was an alpha or a beta actor putting on the role.

But he wanted to focus on the realities. The anger, sadness, and horrors you could face as a single, unmated omega. The director raved that you were the face for that movie and had a soul that made him come seek you out. And without so much as consultation from your agent, you agreed on the spot.

The title of the film had been an ironic one. Good Little Omega was what it was called in the end.

All in all, the movie had done poorly in the eyes of the critics. Many individuals — namely alphas and betas — claimed that the depiction of omegas within the film had been horribly wrong. Omegas were never sad, never homeless, never abandoned by society! That’s what they had all cried the moment the trailer flashed with bright letters:

AND INTRODUCING: Y/L/N Y/N (Ω)

Still, the movie made billions as many went to watch it because they ‘needed to see how horrible the movie was.’ They wanted proof that omegas weren’t cut as movie stars because how could someone who was out of commission for a week every two months be proactive on set. But all they got was a cinematic masterpiece.

You had taken a claim in the industry, one while small, that hadn’t hurt that much because you were much more focused on the fact that you now were a household name. Well, that is until you were nominated for the awards ceremony you were currently about to attend, only that it was the one from four years ago.

You were the first omega actress and now the first omega nominee. You hadn’t won, but that had solidified the step you had in the door. After that, the interests to hire you in omega roles came pouring through the door.

But you were brought back to reality when the setting spray splashed against your face, your eyes fluttering when they covered your scent glands with the flesh-colored band-aids they got for you. Alphas could never complain about you being a distraction if you smelled the same as betas. 

Rising to your feet, you smiled graciously to your makeup and styling team, thanking them profusely as your agent placed her hand at the small of your back and began pushing you towards the exit.

“Goodluck!”

“Thank you!”

.

..

.

Shigaraki glared down the table of averted eyes, and his hands brought up under his chin twitched at his annoyance.

“Are you going to say anything, or are we going to remain silent?” he asked, his voice quiet yet heavy in all of their ears as they flinched. “Don’t think you’re going to get away without giving me an answer.”

The sour smell of fearful alphas should have corroded Shigaraki’s nose. It should have done something to unsettle the way that the young head sat on his black leather seat. But as a matter of fact, the young alpha had to resist the way he wanted to bare his teeth in a bloodied smile, his red eyes slit in his cruel lust for fear.

“O-Of course not, a-alpha!” croaked one of the smaller alphas down the table. Shigaraki snapped his eyes towards the yellow-haired croony, his neck exposed for the alpha, eyes refusing to look at his leader. “I-It’s just that, um, I — I mean, we don't know w-what happened to your mate!”

“I thought I gave clear and distinct instructions that you were supposed to have found them by this meeting,” Shigaraki stated, his voice somehow growing colder, meaner yet never once changing as his hands dropped from his chin to rest on the arms of his chair. He tilted his head, watching the pathetic alphas quiver like some scared, stupid omega. “Useless. Get out of here before I change my mind on killing you all where you sit.”

The crowd of alphas left quicker than Shigaraki could blink, leaving behind the reeking smell of scared alpha pheromones. 

“Tomura-kun, you killed your mate,” came the singsong giggle from behind him, and Shigaraki didn’t bother turning around, his nose and ears sharp enough to pick up exactly it was behind him. 

“They’re all a bunch of pissy lackeys,” Shigaraki simply stated, his eyes rolling as he slowly fell to the back of his chair, red eyes meeting golden ones that shone with mirth and joy. “What do you want, Toga?”

Toga leaned against the leather armrest, uncaring that Shigaraki hated his personal space invaded. The young female was an alpha, much like most of the people within this gang group, but unlike the others, she had a distinct, almost terrifying way to change the way she smelled. She could smell like anyone or any secondary gender. She often preferred to smell like an omega too. 

“We have a guest visiting us today!” Toga chirped, her fingers clasping together. “I wanted to introduce him!”

“Bring Giran in,” Shigaraki snapped, his eyes narrowing with no real malice for the alpha next to him who simply pouted at the surprise — not a surprise — being ruined. Giran reeked of cigarettes and cheap body sprays that, when wafted with his distinct omega pheromones, made Shigaraki want to throw up. “Hurry up.”

“UGH!”

Shigaraki’s mouth was set in a firm line, his eyes watching as one of his most trusted allies walked to the table, and taking a seat in the abandoned chairs as Toga purred in happiness, sitting on the armchair of Giran’s chair, arms enveloping him. 

“Shigaraki, how are you doing?” Giran smiled, the cigarette that seemed to take a permanent residence in his teeth moving with his words. “I came bearing some great news.”

“What do you have for me?” Shigaraki simply states, his eyes focusing on the letter that is unpocketed from Giran’s pockets and placed onto the table. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to sell me your omega niece again.”

Giran chuckled, looking at Toga, who was smirking softly, “I guess he still hates that joke, huh?”

“Absolutely livid!” Toga laughed.

Shigaraki growled, his mind and his inner alpha snarling at the lack of respect to the command of his question. He outranked them, outpowered them; they needed to respect his orders. 

Giran took a deep inhale of his cigarette, sliding the card over to Shigaraki, his eyes averted, but his stance still firm. “I know you go through omegas faster than a teenage boy goes through a pack of tissues, but I think this can answer the pleas you have at night.”

Observing the card in his hand, Shigaraki scowls, unsure of how to feel about the print on the invitation. 

“Say the word, and I’ll get you a seat,” Giran whispers, like a sinister god begging a mere mortal to sign over their life for something completely worthless. But Shigaraki knows his worth, and more importantly, he knows in this game he outranks Giran, who would never betray him. In the slightest. He huffs, his back hunched, and his eyes looking with subdued excitement. 

“Who else is showing up?”

Giran knows the seat will be wanted that instant.

“No one who could hold a candle to you, alpha.”

“Don’t make me regret this.”

“Of course not, my liege.”

.

..

.

The award sitting in your hand feels almost fake as if the entire night was nothing more than a heat-driven fever dream. You had won, had actually won the most significant award of the night that an actress could win!

“Oh my gods, okay, okay,” your agent muttered beside you. Her eyes glued to the shiny gold statue between your legs. “Well, I know your heat starts tomorrow, and I’ll leave you alone for a week. But I swear, y/n, as soon as your mind isn’t a full-blown lusty heat brained bimbo, we’ll reconvene, and we will make sure you are nothing but the greatest!”

“Yeah,” you breathlessly state, eyes transfixed on the prize that felt like it could melt away any second right now. “That sounds wonderful.”

The car you were in pulled up to your front door, and you felt meek excited the car in nothing but a silk robe and slippers. The dress you had worn that night had already been put back into a plastic bag to be returned to the stylist who had offered to style you for the night. You waved with an almost transfixed look in your eyes as you closed your front door behind you, your heart hammering as adrenaline still coursed through your veins as if you had just been declared the victor of the category yet again.

Placing the trophy onto the table, you sighed in a wondrous, dreamy way.

You had done it.

You had won.

Fuck all those directors who had ever said anything different.

Still deep in your thoughts, you almost missed the knock on your door, and you figured that you must have left something in the car. Walking back over to the front door, your nose curled at the lack of scent, was it a beta?

Opening the door, you don’t remember seeing faces or even a scent of a pheromone. A single cloth wrapped over your head, and before you could send out your painful, fearful moments-from-heat omega pheromones, you were knocked out.

Cold and lifeless, you sunk against their arms, bile rising up to your throat as you know exactly what was going on. You were being kidnapped. 

No… please not… not after all of this had happened.

.

..

.

You wake up to the sound of moving feet, sneering laughter, the feeling of coarse, hot, hands on your ass and wet, simmering tongues on your lubricated cunt. The sense is vivid. You can feel the very littlest touch on your body, the layer of scented pheromones on your glands, and slick from alphas — you know it's alphas imprinting themselves on you as a mark of a claim.

You knew about this from high school; it was an extremely outdated and frowned upon version of mating and claiming as it simply turned away any sort of pursuer who wasn’t the thick pheromone individual. You also knew it was frowned upon because if multiple individuals sought mateship with the typical omega individual, it would result in a massive, unsolvable death match. But these alphas, even with layering their scent on you so thick you thought you were turning crazy, didn’t attack. No, they took languid stripes of your fresh, intoxicating slick and growled to you, maybe, how that was how slick was supposed to be. 

You wanted to move, to kick the stupid, demeaning alphas in the snout before running away, but in a twist of horrible realization, you soon figured out that despite your alert mind, you couldn’t move your body. Couldn’t shift it even the smallest of bits. 

“I hope all you wonderful clients have been able to taste and smell your potential mates out here!” A loud, commanding introduction voice echoed from somewhere where you couldn’t see, his voice vibrating into the straps of your legs, but you couldn’t make a sound or even open your eyes. “As you know, we have such an arrangement for you all, the best of the best, really! We don’t wish to rush, but as always, all of these events are incredibly time-sensitive, so if you would, please alphas, please come and sit down, and we’ll begin bidding on our first of seven beautiful, fertile omegas tonight!” 

The words sounded foreign in your ears yet at the same time, something so familiar because this was something you omegas were always warned about. This had to be some sort of omega mate auction, and by the stench of alphas who smelled like they owned millions and killed millions, you were in no doubt somehow caught up in one of the worst ones imagined. 

Two long, completely hardened fingers suddenly entered your cunt, and as if for a single millisecond, your mind and your body were able to work in tangent, your hips bucked at the sweet feelings. Oh, your eyes tried to flutter, enjoying the way the two fingers circled the walls of your long lonely cunt.

“Please, alpha, please refrain from touching the merchandise for now, please join us so that we may begin!”

The two fingers buried within your cunt as if it was their right, slowly withdrew out of your pulsing walls, and you heard the sound of sneakers against the hardwood floor and felt relaxed and sickened at how you sort of liked it.

Heat brain, you reminded yourself. Just your stupid, horny heat brain.

You were a celebrity, you mantra, a dignified star who didn’t need a beta or an alpha unless you saw it fit. Right now, as you had repeated many times to the countless amounts of reporters who had asked, you had no interest in someone to share your heat with.

“Alright, and to start off our night in a rolling go! Please, everyone put your hands together for the fertile and beautiful thirteenth in-line the Princess of Cabodia: Dayanara!”

This auction was insane, all six omegas before you all sold from a price that ranged from 198 hundred million to the one right before you who sold for one billion dollars. You were a prideful omega, and you saw worth to your abilities, smell, and looks, but were you even worth anywhere in that range?

The entire time you had been set up in who knows what, the small, overwhelming pound of your heat sinking into the depths and pores of your body was becoming heavy. You couldn’t move a single muscle still, your body still refusing to respond to the call of your body, but the seep of your slick running down the innards of your thighs, undoubtedly beginning to pool on the ground, must be embarrassing of you. 

Suddenly someone spread the skin below your ass out, and you couldn’t react as something sharp and prick stabbed into your flesh. You howled in the surprising pain, and you were fast to find that whatever they had injected you with had allowed systematic movement within your body. Your eyes fluttered open as two, impossibly huge alphas grabbed you by your forearm and hoisted you to your feet. 

Your neck was far too weak to carry the weight of your head, so your eyes were transfixed on the white silk of the slutty dress they dressed you in. It showed off your cleavage with no regret, and by the feel and look of it, it barely passed the bottom of your ass. Your vision swam, the alphas all over the room distorted and melting within one another as you stepped onto a stage, the spotlight on you feeling deliriously hot and melting your skin.

Your hormones, already going crazy with your heat, seemed to intensify at the small of so many capable, potent, possessive alpha pheromones that suffocated the room. Handcuffs slapped onto your wrists, and you moaned pathetically at the sting of cold metal on your skin, and you obediently followed the command of one alpha to go on your knees. 

A nail slammed between the metal links of the handcuffs, practically stapling you to the wooden floor, and you whimpered at the feeling of a stuffed pillow mount being placed beneath your lower stomach. You were in a forced and easily accessible mating position with your slick and cunt exposed for all the alphas to re-smell and see. 

Moaning, you shifted against the mount, your body not able to have the full movement you needed to ward off that building, insufferable heat in your core, but nothing you could do seemed to satisfy it.

“And for our biggest prize of the night, we have the one, the only, the beautiful sensation Y/l/n Y/n!” the auctioneer roared. His voice echoing in your ear as he walked over to you, exposing your dripping cunt to the crowd of alphas who had all gotten a sweet taste of your essence already. His hand came down to slap your ass with a chuckle. “Where do we start the bidding on this one, alphas? She needs no introduction, and none of you better be pussies because we know this bitch of an omega won’t take any tiny cocks as her alpha! She needs to be broken in, fucked to submission. No one likes a trailblazer… someone needs to remind of what fucking trail she’s supposed to be on. Besides, the bitch is in fucking heat, and if you don’t claim her, I just might do it myself!”

“75 million!” someone started the bidding.

You stiffened.

“75 to the man in the back!”

“90 million!” someone challenged.

“We’re up to 90!”

“125 million!”

“Do I hear another offer?”

“250 million!”

“250 million!”

The number climbed and climbed, the same voices coming to challenge each other until finally, they rounded out to a quantity that sounded bizarre even to you. 

“950 million!”

If it had been possible for your knees to give out, you would have been collapsed onto the floor, the pool of slick that continued to lubricate your cunt without a doubt drowning you as you craved the need to be fucked by someone with undoubted alpha pheromones and cock in this room. 

“950 million?” the auctioneer repeated, his voice for sure carrying a shark-like grin. “Going once, going twice—”

“Five billion.”

The gasp in the crowd was undeniable, and the omega in you crooned, knowing that this alpha valued you and your omega to be the price of five billion US dollars. 

“Fuck!” screamed the man who had presented the 950 million deal. 

“Wowee, five billion dollars, everyone! Anyone think they can beat that?! Going once! Going twice!” The crowd remained in silence, and you shook against your restraint, the heat emitting from your cunt almost demanding to be seen and fucked through this heat week. “SOLD! The virgin celebrity, Y/l/n Y/n sold to our own Shigaraki Tomura!”

The cheers of amaze weren’t nearly as loud as the smell of reeking petty alpha.

“Come and pay up, alpha, and then you can show us… a demonstration of how you’re going to break this omega.”

“Shut up.” Shigaraku growled, his footsteps heavy in your ear as you feel him climb up the stage, and you weakly tilted your head to look at the white-haired alpha boss hand over a simple credit card before walking over to you, his eyes unreadable as he looked you dead in the eye.

He reached out a finger that raised your chin up for him to study your face, moving and tilting your head as he pleased as a small, sinister smile pressed to his lips as he dropped your head. A sharp, uncomfortable pain fell on your chin as it crashed to the floor, and you shivered at the feeling of his calloused and rough fingers running down your exposed back.

“You’re such a small omega, still stupidly tiny. I bet you’ve never thought your first knot would come from someone like me,” Shigaraki laughed, his fingers and voice ice cold. His words were soft, spoken in a way that had your omega stupidly cooing for having secret conversations with your alpha who promised to fuck you till you were carrying a litter of pups. “I hope you realize that this is real life, that I will break you, and no hero in this world will be able to fucking save you.”

“Fuck the omega!” someone from the crowd screamed, and Shigaraki glared upwards. Still, you shivered in the thought of this alpha who spent five billion dollars to make you his claiming you, fucking your stupid heat brain into mush in front of these smaller, irrelevant alphas. 

“I’ll do what I fucking please,” Shigaraki snapped, but the fingers you remembered to have been the last ones to enter your slicked crazy walls seemed to be his. They moved deep within you, curling and spreading your tight, sopping wet cavern apart, letting your pathetic, chirping cries echo powerfully in the room as lusting, near rutting alpha pheromones filled the room. “For fucks sake, omega, your pussy’s fucking tight as shit! Don’t you have any real knotted toys?”

You couldn’t respond back, your body on the road to a complete shut down at the feeling of something other than silicone deep within your body, fingering and dragging against your pheromone soaked walls.

“Alpha, y-your fingers feel so good!” you gasp, your hips thrusting backward, enjoying the way his fingernails press onto your warm velvet walls. “So good, you make me feel so good already.”

“I’ve seen you all over the news,” Shigaraki growled low into your ear. “Talking about how you didn’t want an alpha, how you never needed to feel the tightness that a fat knot could bring you, and look at you now. I’ve barely touched you, barely begun to make you mine, and yet you’re already begging for me, omega.”

Your arms tug at the handcuffs, pathetically wanting them off. Exasperatedly seeking more friction from your newly bought alpha. You can’t think straight, can’t come up with a single response except the stupid apologetic, “I’m so sorry alpha, I didn’t know i-it would be y-you!”

“Don’t be shy on her, Shigaraki! Fuck the slutty omega already! Fucking knot and claim her in front of us, I want to hear the omega whore scream. It’s always hotter when it’s the first claim ever!”

“You better learn how to shut the fuck up, or I’ll kill you for interrupting my fucking session here,” Shigaraki seethed, his red, smoldering eyes ripping from yours and glaring at some loser alpha behind you. You couldn’t care. You only wanted what looked like the growing cock in Shigaraki’s pants; you wanted to feel the cock fill up your cunt, and his knot to lock you both in place.

You drooled at the thought, your loud, whimpering cries unable to keep from pouring out as the slick from your core seemed to pour endlessly from your pussy, demanding attention and a knot. “Breed me, fill me with your pups,” you begged fingers taking in his dirty fingers in your mouth, tongue wildly and uncontrollably flicking across his fingers in hopes it would be a sinking prayer of your promise to be good. “I want your knot, alpha, I want these stupid alphas to know you’re so much better than them~!”

Shigaraki’s once snarl fell when he looked at you, a slowly growing smirk falling on his face as his lips spread into a cruel smirk, one that had you moaning around his fingers as he pinched the pink muscle in your mouth before disappearing before you.

“I smelled your distress when I put my fingers up your sloppy little cunt right before the auction happened; I could tell even with your growing heat that you hated the feeling of my fingers up your pretty pussy. But look at you now, I haven’t even set you on my goddamn knot, haven’t stretched that tiny cunt to its max. You’re smelling better than a bitch in heat,” Shigaraki growled in your ear. His clothed chest pressing deliriously into your exposed back, the huge cock outline in his pants grinding incessantly into your wet core, undoubtedly leaving a damp patch where his cock ground into you. “You’re an actress, aren’t you, little omega? I bet you just needed this audience cheering your name to break your mind over this. How. Pathetic.”

And the pressure on your tongue is gone, the drool and saliva sticky and cold on your chin as you whimper for your alpha. You promised that it wasn’t right, it was just that you had been scared before, but your alpha was so strong, his pheromones so scary and mean, he could protect you and fill you up with so many pups you couldn’t help but to be excited now.

The smell of Shigaraki seemed to brighten, and you moaned when his hands pressed the white dress up, allowing for your naked ass to be seen by him and everyone who stayed to watch. Shigaraki squeezed your asscheeks away, chuckling at the way your small asshole clenched in your embarrassment and pain at how your hormone-driven heat demanded that he fuck you and knot you now.

“So fucking wet,” Shigaraki observed, his fingertips tracing the slick on your folds before a small pop told you that he licked you clean from his fingers. “Such sweet slick too, you really are a prime omega, little one.”

You whimpered, ass shaking for him to continue to touch you, to continue to fuck you more. 

“I don’t think you’re ready for my knot, precious omega,” Shigaraki taunted, and his words were a sealing deal in your lusting mind. Your hips knocking backward in some sort of desperation for more.

“She won’t,” commented the auctioneer.

“I will!” you scream, eyes filled with painful tears that could only be resolved with your alphas knot and claim. “I can take your knot, alpha!”

Shigaraki makes a small noise, and you choke at the feeling of something huge, nearly monstrous, shift into your cunt. You were a virgin, but even you knew that it was merely the head of his alpha thick cock, not enough for you to be satisfied, not far enough in you to breed or fuck you properly. All the moans in your throat were slightly painful, and the tears in your eyes continued to fall as you rocked your hips backward, trying to sink yourself further on his cock, wanting him deep in your womb.

You craved him.

“Ah, good, you can take more,” came the airy, almost insane driven coo of Shigaraki, the lack of humor making your cunt flutter against his thick, long cock. “Cry for your alpha, little omega.”

With that, Shigaraki slammed into you with no mercy, his cock bottoming out into you with a powerful, edging thrust. You screamed in pain, tears leaking from your eyes, and even with the pool of lubricating slick, his cock was far too big, incredibly thick that you felt your inner walls splitting in two as he fucked you as if you weren’t in delirious pain.

Drool and tears covered your arms, your painted fingers digging into the floorboards with crazy strength that you clawed scars on the floor as Shigaraki rutted deep within you.

Shigaraki commanded you with every thrust he gave, and soon the omega in you was cooing, howling for more, the pain of having your virginity ripped from right under you having become bubbling, glowing pleasure. You screamed in pleasure, Shigaraki grabbing onto your rolling hips to slam you back onto his cock, allowing for his thick cock to hit deep within you over and over again. The angle and power he possessed with every thrust were almost inhumane, nothing your lonely heat filled nights could ever dream of recreating ever. Shrill moans and pleas drowned out the annoying commentary of your onlookers, Shigaraki’s chest still flushed against your back, his hips landing heavily on your ass that was at this point raised because of the mount beneath you. 

“My alpha,” you babble, eyes unfocused, hazy, and incredibly heavy as you stared at some point on the wall, overwhelmed with the feeling of Shigaraki’s hot cock pounding in you. “My alpha, such a good alpha. His cock is making my tummy feel funny, making my pussy feel so tight. Please fill me with your children, I’ll be a good omega to you and them, I promise! I promise — I — oh myyy goddd — I promise, alpha!!!”

Shigaraki puffs up with the praise, but he continued to fuck into you roughly, mercilessly, as if you were nothing more than the breeding whore omega that he had purchased you for. The wet slaps and satisfying squelches rang in the blazing heat room, the smell of the pleasured and heat insane omega saturating deeply within his nose, and in the other's nose, the prideful smell of a satisfied alpha.

Your spongy walls clenched and spasmed against his penetrating, pounding cock, sometimes even forcibly because, by god, it was hot when his cock would twitch within your womb, especially against your cervix.

“Fuck, you’re so damn annoying,” Shigaraki snarled into your ear, his teeth biting and scraping along your neck, and you wailed when his teeth dragged over the sweet scent gland on your neck. The one and only place for mating bites to go. His hand gripped your hair, tugging your head back so that you could feel his rough facial skin rub up against yours. “If you want me to fill you with my pups, you better be the best fucking omega on this goddamn planet.”

“I can be the best! I’ll be the best!” you cried, your ass shifting backward to meet his drilling hips. 

The delirious sensation of his cock rocking against your cervix slowly begins to inflate the knot on his cock, restricting his still barbaric thrusting as he made to move faster. He wanted you to cum before he knotted entirely within you. 

The pressure in your stomach is scorching and impossibly tight, and he takes another long stripe at your scent gland. You tremble with need, your fingers tearing into the wooden floors. You can feel the knot on his cock swelling up, catching onto the opening of your cunt with every successive cunt, and you begin to cry, shake, and tremble as the knot becomes too big.

Your eyes cross, your tongue falling out of your mouth as you babble his name. Your walls clamp around his knotted cock with the ferocity of a vice, and your body jerks violently as you cum hard around his cock. The slick essence of your orgasm slipping out of the few lasting places open before Shigaraki’s knot fills you out entirely. Despite his cock unable to move, the swollenness of his knot preventing him from moving out of you, Shigaraki still shoves his weight into his hips, the inflated knot stretching your cock out so widely, your vision went white, and you came yet a second time.

A small pop was heard, and suddenly with a rush of thick, hot, and heavy white cum exploded within your womb, his teeth sink around your scent gland, marking you — mating you. He filled you, filled you, and filled you. His cum wouldn’t stop until your belly was swollen with his hot cum, and he eventually fell off of you with a shaky, shallow breath.

You still remained on the mount, your eyes unfocused, breaths mumbling to your alpha, a promise to carry out every single pup he gave you and would give you. You were his omega, his good little omega, and you would never disappoint your alpha. Not now, not ever.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The next week, you opened your door with a broad smile, your usual clothes replaced with a dress Shigaraki had picked for you and a frilly white apron on as your agent was standing outside of your house, eyes wide, mouth gaped at the still bleeding mate wound on your shoulder.

“Ah, how funny!” you laughed, waving your hand as you sighed dreamily, your eyes fluttering at the thought of your alpha who was on a business call right now. “I’m actually going to be quitting! My alpha and I have many plans right now, I gotta produce as many litters as I can, being an actress would never give me this sort of meaning in life!”

“B-But, you’re doing so much?! You have so much to do! You can’t give up?!”

“Oh, my love, we both know that I look much cuter with a pregnant belly! Don’t worry,” you smile, taking your agent's hand, brightly smiling at her one last time. “I’m sure all omegas will eventually find their alpha so they won’t be so depressed and angry like I was!”

Your agent doesn’t get another word in.

You slam the door in her face, your hands already resting on your belly that you knew was already growing the life of your first litter of pups. It had been known the second Shigaraki filled you up anymore.

You were a good little omega, and your alpha needed you!

[bluegarners]

Dick realizes he’s forgetting his childhood. 

~oOo~

It hits him one day. It hits him hard.

In reality, it must have been a gradual thing. An overtime thing. A steady decline thing that he just didn’t notice, like rain on eroding rocks. Chipping, chipping, chipping away and weathering it down into pebbles. 

But when he stops to actually look around, takes a moment to really think, it hits Dick hard. The wind knocked out of him, train plowing into him, upper cut to the jaw, mind reeling hard. 

He can’t remember what his mom’s voice sounded like. 

He remembers the old song she used to hum to him, can still dredge up the melody if he really tries, but he can’t remember what she sounded like. He’s almost sure she had a beautiful voice. Almost sure it was breathy and lower in pitch because she was a proud woman that used her voice for authority and rule. Sometimes, if he sits down and thinks exceptionally hard, he thinks even his father might’ve sung with her too.

Oh. Another thing.

He can’t remember the name of the cologne his father used.

It was something spicy, Dick’s sure. Something spicy that smelled like a mix of all the worlds best fireplaces and cinnamon sticks. It was warm, Dick’s positive of it, but sometimes he catches a whiff of vanilla and his mind goes back to his father on Sunday evenings when they didn’t have a performance, so maybe the cologne wasn’t spicy and Dick is just forgetting and remembering it all wrong.

That’s terrifying. How can he forget something as unique and special as his own mother’s voice or his father’s scent? What kind of son forgets something so pertinent to their parents?

He’s read articles about trauma messing with memories. Something about stress hormones going into overdrive, infecting and plaguing the fear factor and hippocampus that the brain just doesn’t recall anything. But he’s also read articles that say trauma enhances memory, that the adrenaline is just so prolific that it literally encodes the events permanently into the hippocampus rather than erase. 

He’s even read articles that victims of childhood trauma lose their innocent past completely in a blink. That they may even believe the events never happened and it was all just a dream.

But Dick knows he had parents. He knows that his father was a happy man, outgoing to the fullest and in love with life. He knows his mother made delicious pancakes straight out of the box and that she always used real maple syrup instead of Log Cabin. He knows that they were all very close and his parents never made him feel ashamed for being clingy or wanting to sleep in their bed after a nightmare or seeking comfort after yet another failed trick or flip. 

Dick knows. He remembers. 

But sometimes the details get fuzzy. Was his baby blanket, the one he knows his long dead nana stitched for him, blue or gray? Were there two rooms or just a bed and a couch in their tiny trailer? Did Pop Haly boom or rumble with laughter? He knows these things happened. How else would he even know he had a blanket or a trailer or the comfort of loud laughter during even louder performances? 

But for all his remembrance, for all his recollection, he doesn’t know if it’s real. If what he thinks are memories are but fond daydreams substituted for the blank spaces. He doesn’t have many pictures, but he’s got so many posters from Haly’s Circus. Enough so that his father’s face will never be confused with some stranger’s on the street. Dick has stared at all the bright colors for hours on end, and he knows exactly what shade of green his mother’s eyes were. He could pick out their colors in a forest and still know it wouldn’t be as close to what his mother’s eyes were like.

He knows faces. He remembers faces. He doesn’t remember who they were though. Who these people were and what they sounded and smelled like. What stories they shared. What family lineage they held.

He doesn’t remember what routine they were doing that night. He thinks it was a daring one, one they hadn’t done many times before hand because they wanted to make a good impression in Gotham. They were only going to be there for a month, Dick remembers that, but he can’t remember why it was so important to impress. 

He was up next. His father had just flung his mother into the air, twirling and falling, and then his father had caught her by the ankles and they were swinging through the air as if they had grown wings and learnt how to fly.

He was up next. Only nine. Nervous but excited. There were so many people in the crowd, but he can only picture a massive blob. Bright lights. His mother’s face. Green eyes. His father’s strong shoulders. Cinnamon carrying in the wind.

He was up next. He would leap out, flip twice, and somersault his way into his mother’s awaiting grasp. Then, they would float and trade off holds with one another and Dick would be the one holding his mother’s ankles and he would be upside down as well and then-

He was up next. He was up next and he could see his mother’s bright smile beaming towards him, his father’s reassuring grip on the bar steady, and Dick was tensing to make the leap and then-

The line snapped.

Dick thinks his mother might’ve called out to him as they plummeted. Maybe a cry for help. A startled yell. A gasp. A shriek. Terror.

Dick likes to think he remembered her calling out his name.

He doesn’t know if what he does remember is true or not; if his parents’ bodies actually crumpled like wet paper or if they snapped like dry wood. He remembers their descent, but maybe not, because Graysons were known for flying but his parents fell like they had weights tied to their legs. Sound escaped him, smell too, and maybe that’s his problem. Maybe he just can’t remember important senses like sound and scent, but he does remember the way the sawdust turned black.

They had all worn their favorite leotards that night. Red, green, yellow, bright and happy. He doesn’t remember why it was so important to impress Gotham. It just stained their uniforms anyway. Stained their livelihood.

He doesn’t remember how long he stayed up there, gazing down down down at his parents. Broken and bloody. There was white mixed in with the red, and a little bit of purple here and there, bright splotches of blue and pink, and it’s funny that he remembers all that because their leotards only had three colors. 

He blanks on the rest. Just knows that Danny Poteet shoved his face into his shoulder as the crowd disappeared, the mass of blobs and blurry faces fading. Mister Poteet was a nice man. He can’t remember what Poteet did, what his act was in the circus, but he’s pretty sure he had a long beard. Was that important? Was that even his name? Dick doesn’t remember.

And it angers him to no end that he can remember the organs that split their way through his parents leos, can probably name them now that he’s older, but not what his mother said to him as she fell. Not what his dad smelled like. Not what Danny Poteet mumbled to him as red and blue lights filled the tent.

He’s forgetting. Did he ever remember?

He wants to tell stories of his childhood. So badly wants to regale his brothers of his days in the circus. He can tell them all the working secrets of how twenty clowns fit inside a car meant for a baby. How fire breathers drank oil without it ever touching their tongues. How the strong man was actually just a pillow lifter with down in his suit. How strong and fast and beautiful the Flying Graysons were on the trapeze. 

He can tell all those things because they were simple and everyday and honestly common knowledge (which also scares Dick because what if he only “remembers” these things because he looked them up one day and just pretended that he always knew it because that’s how he grew up, that is how he lived, but what if he’s wrong-). More than anything though, Dick wants to tell them about his parents.

About Mary and John Grayson and how they were the kindest and most amazing people Dick ever knew. But he can’t. Not without lying, and his parents hated liars (he hopes they did, please, he hopes he remembers at least one truthful thing that he hasn’t made up).

So when Tim looks at him like he’s lost his mind when he says, “I think my dad smelled spicy,” or when Jason laughs at him when Dick tries to tell him about this baby elephant that might’ve existed at some point or when Damian only sighs when he tries to recall a story with so many holes and fragments that it’s just incomprehensible, Dick feels like crying.

How can someone just forget a lifetime of memories? How can he just lose the only connections he has to his parents like it’s nothing? 

Posters only go so far. Faded and hazy dreams of a melody that won’t leave his throat only do so much. Wisps of vanilla and burnt wood only taper the feelings of loss ever so slightly.

It’s not enough. It’s not enough.

He’s forgotten. He’s forgotten.

[lightsovermonaco]

His Good Sweater: Chapter 4

Masterlist

Thank you as always to my best friend and Beta reader @acollectionofficsandshit​ for putting up with me and my ramblings ♥

Word Count: 3.8k

Recommended song: "ily (I love you baby)" by Surf Mesa and Emilee

You'd never been more thankful that you kept a change of clothes in your car than you were after the race at Silverstone. You'd showered again, changing back into the sweaty tee and leggings. The clean emergency hoodie and jeans were a blessing, and casual enough for a night on the town.

Most of the crew had left, only a few poor souls pouring over race data or packing up essentials. James let you into the trailer yard this time without hesitation. "We really should just get you a key," He teases, "Sure would make my life easier."

Rolling your eyes, you give the tower of muscle a pitiful shove. He doesn't move an inch. "Thanks James. I'll ask Pierre to look into it."

A sudden wave of tiredness washes over you when you make it back to the trailer. You flip through the channels on the tiny television, settling on an analysis of the day’s race.

“And a brilliant drive from young Pierre Gasly, wasn’t it John?”

“I completely agree Martin. Gasly took advantage of every slip up by Mercedes and Red Bull and he has to be commended for that. Max made some rare mistakes and…”

You smile to yourself, their praise washing over you. Yawning, you curl up on Pierre's bed, the familiar smell of cedar lulling you into a light sleep in minutes.

**********

A gentle touch to your cheek wakes you some hours later. You crack your eyes open, greeted by a smile brighter than the stars in the night sky. You taste eternal sunshine on his lips when you kiss him, your soul sparking in response to his light.

"Good morning," He murmurs, thumb rubbing along your jaw. "Sleep well?"

You snuggle closer to him, eyes closing once more as you soak up the warmth. "Is it time to go out already?"

"It is. But we can stay here if you want to." He brushes a stray hair off your face. The gesture is so tender, if you didn’t know any better you’d never guess he could turn into the seasoned, take-no-shit racer you’d seen hours before. 

You shake your head. You couldn't let him miss out on celebrating his victory with his closest friends. Besides, you hadn't seen any of them for a span of time longer than a few minutes in months, and truth be told, you missed them all. 

Those boys had a knack for turning the simplest of outings into unforgettable adventures. You had been sworn to secrecy on numerous occasions after Pierre recounted drunken escapades that usually ended with Max sleeping somewhere preposterous, like a claw-footed bathtub in a fancy suite.

“Where are we going?” You ask sleepily. “Somewhere nearby?”

Pierre tugs you up until you’re sitting. He pulls you back against his chest, arms wrapping around you as he sets his chin on your shoulder. “Yeah. Maybe ten minutes away.”

You lean your full weight against him, admiring how perfectly your bodies slot together. “Can I leave my car here?”

“As long as you’re okay with it staying here until tomorrow, that’s fine.” He coaxes you to stand and presses a kiss to your temple as a reward. Your limbs are still heavy and uncooperative. Pierre winds an arm around your waist, supporting you and assuming the position of your rock as he always did.

"You don't sleep here," You state simply, looking at him for confirmation. He shakes his head.

"Wouldn't be enough room for two anyway." He gestures to the tiny twin sized bed and shrugs.

Your brow furrows. “Am I staying with you tonight?” You honestly had not considered it. The jet usually left early and you had assumed he would want to get as much rest as possible. But now that you had experienced waking up next to him, you realize how much you want his face to be the first thing you see when you open your eyes each morning.

“Of course you’re staying with me. I’m taking every second of your time that I can get.”

You bite your lip and lay your head on his shoulder. The idea of falling asleep in his arms was enough to shake any lingering sleepiness. “Okay.” Confident that you could hold yourself up, you step out of his grasp. “Ready.”

The few mechanics roaming about the grounds are enough to keep you cautious. You walk through the paddock a hair's breadth apart, although every nerve screams for you to touch him. Every time your arm grazes his, electricity ripples across your skin. All you want to do is hold his hand, but there’s enough prying eyes that you restrain the impulse.

You can tell he feels it too by the way his fingers curl and uncurl at his sides. And he's biting his cheek, you notice. A nervous habit of his and a clear indicator that he'd retreated inside his own head, likely contemplating if he'd truly deserved to win today or not.

Every few months his doubts crept in, the devil on his shoulder reminding him that Horner hadn't deemed him good enough to keep his seat at Red Bull after only a handful of races.

You'll never be as talented as them, is what you'd imagined it whispered. They're only here because they pity you. What makes you think you deserve a seat?

It couldn't be farther from the truth. Deep down, Pierre knew that. Driving in Formula 1 meant being under constant scrutiny from the public and sportscasters. Making an error meant debates about whether you were good enough and rumors about seat security.

There were no such errors today. You'd heard the commentary after the race; everyone was raving about his performance. Not one person had dared say he didn't deserve it.

Not wanting him to suffer alone, you subtly wrap your pinky finger around his. "You're okay," You say softly, his head whipping to you. "You deserved that trophy today. It was some of the best driving I've ever seen, everyone agrees. You deserve a trophy every time you get in that car. You'll always be my champion, even if the world tells you otherwise."

It takes a moment for it to sink in, but he nods and releases your pinkie. "You're my grounding rod," He says, lips curling in a knowing smile, and you can't hold back your laugh.

"Leave it to you to turn a romantic moment into a cheesy one." Instead of saying you're my rock like any normal person, he had to bring up the time you'd embarrassed yourself at the bar a year or so ago. He'd let you prattle on to poor Dan about building grounding rods of all things, and how you'd thought your professor's way of designing such a system was flawed. Pierre would never let you live that down, it seemed.

Max spots the two of you first, waving from where the boys had gathered outside Red Bull. “About time you showed up! We’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

“She fell asleep,” Pierre says simply, his confidence back. “Takes her awhile to wake up.”

“Whatever, I’m just glad you’re here,” Daniel says, throwing an arm around your shoulders and tucking you tight to his side. You couldn’t help the broad smile creeping onto your face, twin to the aussie’s as you hug him back. 

“We missed you,” Charles says, falling into step beside you. “I never hear from you anymore!”

You grimace. It was true, while the three boys had texted you quite frequently the past few months, you had barely responded to them. You felt guilty about it, knowing they were taking time out of their packed schedules to catch up. But uni had been kicking your ass and the only one you’d found time for was Pierre. Looking back, you were glad he had been the exception.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” You say. “Lots of projects.”

“And that new internship,” Max points out. Your eyebrows flick up, gaze flicking to Pierre. You had been awarded an internship a month or so ago at a local engineering firm in London. It was only part time work, a few hours a week, but it was enough. The only one you had told was Pierre.

Pierre grins, the gesture a silent apology. “I may have spilled the beans.” 

You cut him a glare, the others laughing at your attempt at being intimidating. But you couldn’t turn away from him, not when he was looking at you with the same pride you had felt when he’d won earlier that day. 

“Uber’s here,” Charles announces, checking his phone.

“Where?” Daniel asks, and Charles indicates a black SUV parked at the curb. Daniel and Max exchange a look, shouting “Shotgun!” at the same time. Both boys break into a full sprint, feet pounding on the pavement. Daniel wins - barely, leaving Max and Charles to squeeze into the back seat.

Pierre follows you into the third row of seats, his hand immediately engulfing yours. Your stomach flips, glancing up to find a reassuring smile on his face. You could barely focus on what was said for the first half of the ride, hyperaware of the callouses rubbing your skin. The world around you erupts into color at the touch, completing the part of you that you’d never realized was missing. 

The remainder of the drive is filled with laughter, jokes, and plenty of selfies with the driver. It wasn’t every day one could brag about having four world class drivers in your car; you couldn’t blame the man for being excited.

By the time you arrive at the bar, your sides are already splitting with laughter. “First round is on you, Ricciardo,” Charles says, wagging a finger at him. “Punishment for bringing up the Abu Dhabi incident again!”

“Jokes on you, I was already planning on it!” He glances at you and winks. “Gotta congratulate the winner somehow, right?” Little did the Australian know, you had already congratulated Pierre a few hours ago, and you doubted that a few shots would outshine that performance. You hope the pink tinge that rises to your cheeks with the memory isn't obvious and you duck your head just in case.

A blast of air conditioning hits you as you all stumble into the bar. All eyes fell to you and the ragtag group of drivers when you entered, silence blanketing the patrons. The bartender slams a fist on the wooden bartop, rattling glasses and making you flinch.

“Been wonderin’ when you lot were gonna show your ugly mugs!”

Daniel, Max and Charles erupt into friendly laughter, shaking the man’s hand and making small talk. You look to Pierre for an explanation.

“Tradition,” He murmurs. The noise returned to a normal level around you, though you could feel the glances thrown your way. “We come here every year, but only if one of us wins at Silverstone. Been awhile since that happened.”

"Ah," You say, nodding dramatically. "Yes, very long time." Pierre grins, shaking his head.

"Who won this year?" The man - William, Pierre informs you- asks. He towered over you when you sat on the sticky bar stool, tall and lanky but well muscled and certainly not someone you would expect patrons to try disrespecting. He was already pouring five shots of a fine Irish Whiskey, waving Daniel off when he tried to start a tab. “My treat.”

Max claps a hand on Pierre's shoulder. "This one claimed the crown, for once!"

"Wey hey!" William says, passing out the shots. "Everyone else crash out or what?"

"You should watch the replay," You say, knocking Pierre's shoulder with your own. "It was amazing. The move he used to get past Max-" you bring your pinched fingers to your lips in a chef's kiss. "Gorgeous."

"Much to Max's despair," Charles adds, raising his shot. "To the underdog!"

You all echo the sentiment, the boys knocking back the strong alcohol with practiced ease. It didn't go down as smooth for you, burning your throat and making you wince.

Daniel laughs. "Not used to drinking with us anymore, huh?"

"Must have lost my edge," You say, the woody taste lingering in your mouth. "I'm sure it'll hit me hard in a half hour or so, too."

**********

Well, you weren't wrong about the alcohol hitting you like a punch to the gut. Two shots later and you were swaying like a sailor on his first excursion out to sea, Pierre's shoulder the only thing keeping you from toppling off the bar stool. 

Pierre's eyes were bright as the others poked fun at him, William joining in with a witty remark now and then. His laugh wrapped around you like a warm blanket, keeping you content and grounded.

"Hey Pierre," Daniel says at one point, "Don't look now but that table of girls has been obsessed with you all night."

Pierre, blitzed as he was, pays no attention to Dan's warning and turns around. A loopy grin was plastered on his face, turning back and shaking his head.

You may not have been able to think straight, but your stomach lurches. Instantly sobering slightly, you follow Dan's gaze to the indicated table to your left. Three beautiful women sat there, whispering behind their hands and clearly speaking about Pierre. One bit her lip and caught your eye, giggling. Her looks were universally attractive enough that she would be anyone’s type, Pierre included. The possessiveness in the gaze she raked over his body set your blood boiling. 

This… was not a scenario you wanted to play out. You didn't know if Pierre was ready to tell his friends about your relationship yet. You knew he wouldn't let any of those girls have the light of day, but he might let them fawn over him a little, just to protect your secret. And it would kill you, but you would have no choice but to let it happen.

"I'm good," Pierre says, sipping the beer he had been nursing all night.

"Come on mate," Max pushes, a wicked grin on his flushed face, "That blonde is so your type."

No she isn't.

You’re already staring up at Pierre when he turns to you. You have always worn your emotions on your sleeve for anyone to see, and it only got worse when mixed with alcohol. Pierre smiles softly, taking mercy on you. Slowly, he takes your hand and threads your fingers together before turning back to the boys.

"One of you can tell them I’m not interested. I already have my girl." 

Heart beating wildly, you scan your friends faces. They were all wide eyed and slack jawed, staring at your joined hands. Pierre gives your hand a gentle squeeze, reminding you to breathe. He read you like an open book, offering reassurance when you needed it most.

"It's about fucking time!" Daniel roars, breaking the tense silence. Your shoulders relax, grinning along with the others. Pierre beams at you, knocking your shoulder to say I told you so. 

"Does this mean I get a break from listening to you obsess over her every weekend?" Max asks, giving you a meaningful look. 

"Likely not," Pierre answers. "I'm still just as obsessed as before. Maybe more." Max pretends to gag, earning him a playful punch from Charles. God, it was so freeing for your relationship to be more open, even if it was just between your closest friends. 

"I'd just like to point out that I told you two this would happen years ago," Charles says matter of factly, pointing at Max and Dan. "Should've taken you up on that bet."

Your mouth hung open. "You were going to bet on us being a couple?"

"Oh come on," Max says, rolling his eyes. "We all knew it was coming eventually. We just didn't know when!"

Pink stains your cheeks, but Pierre laughs and leans in to kiss you. Remembering the girls behind you, you press a little closer to him. Under the guise of placing a kiss to his cheek, you meet the blonde's eyes and smile sweetly.

The woman preens, mouth twisting. Good. Pierre was yours, and now that he'd admitted it, you could let those girls know it. His hand slips to your thigh, squeezing hard. A clear warning that you were venturing into dangerous territory. You didn't care.

The alcohol in your veins makes you bold, and you want to drive your point home. They could look all they wanted, but he was coming home with you. You push the boundary farther and bite the soft skin of his neck just hard enough to leave a mark. Pierre's hiss finally makes you pull back and look up at him innocently.

"Get a room," Daniel teases with a wink. You smile at him, mumbling an insincere apology. Your point had been made. The arrogant smirk had been wiped from the woman’s face, replaced with a grimace. 

"I think it is time for us to get going," Pierre says, annoyance flashing across his face. Oh, you had stoked the fire and now you would have to face the consequences. 

"We're just getting started," Charles complains. Pierre slaps a few bills on the counter and gets up without responding. 

"Bye guys!" You call over your shoulder as Pierre drags you towards the door. They all wave back, Max's lower lip jutting out in a pout. Your eyes slid one more time to the blonde, who had her arms crossed over her chest. You give her a wicked, taunting grin and return her earlier wink.

Pierre halts so quickly that you run into him. “Why are we leaving?”

“You know why,” He growls, flagging down a cab. “You didn't like how she was looking at me, so you did something about it. You might not have noticed, but every man in that bar had their eyes on you. So I’m following your example and doing something about it.”

Your brow furrows. Pierre won’t meet your gaze, and your eyes fall to the purple mark on his neck. You didn’t like his tone; it bordered dangerously on anger. “Are you… Are you mad that I did that?”

Tears threaten to spill when he finally looks at you. God, you were a blubbering drunk.  When your lip wobbles, his anger fades and he sighs. “I’m not mad. I just… I didn’t think you’d want me flaunting our relationship yet. When you did this-” He gestures to his neck- “I could barely keep my hands off you. Not when I saw the guy walking up to you.”

You sniff, trying to conjure the image of the bar. “I didn’t notice anyone.”

“Yeah, cause I dragged you out here before he could say anything.” Pierre pulls his hood up and sighs. “Trying to catch a cab here is harder than overtaking Hamilton.”

You laugh harder than you should at the off-hand remark, following after him as he trudges down the sidewalk. “Why are you not drunk? I feel like you should be drunk. You won a race. They were feeding you shots one after another.”

“One of us had to be responsible and make sure we got home okay.” He smiles over his shoulder at you. “And I knew as soon as you had that first shot it would have to be me. Didn’t you notice me handing the shots to the other guys?”

“No,” You say, rubbing your eyes. “What about the boys? How are they gonna get home?” Pierre stops, forcing you to do the same. He tugs your hood up, makes sure his is secure enough to hide his face, and grabs your hand.

“I already told Seb to come round them up in an hour or so. They’ll be fine.”

You don’t respond, too busy trying to put one foot in front of the other and not fall on your face. It doesn’t help that your vision is a tad blurry. Finally you give up and whine, “How much further?”

“It’s right there,” He says, pointing at a towering glass building just across the street. “In five minutes, you can be tucked into a cozy, fluffy suite and you can rest all you want, my love.”

You hum at the words, warmth flooding your veins from more than the liquor. “I like that.”

“What, the building?” He asks, amused. He helps you cross the empty street, making sure you’re paying attention to where you’re going.

“Noooo, what you said,” You clarify, leaning on him as you try to navigate the handful of steps leading to the hotel.

He’s quiet until you reach the elevator. “My love,” He murmurs, and you grin up at him.

“Mon… mon coeur,” You manage to say, somehow pulling the French phrase out of the dregs of your memory. The words are slurred and you know that you absolutely botch the pronunciation, but the intent is clear. You may have lived in France since you were 18, but learning the language wasn’t a requirement when almost everyone knew english as well. But the two of you had spent many hours watching Pierre’s favorite french films over the years; some of it must have unintentionally rubbed off on you.

A disbelieving smile tugs at his lips. “How do you even know what that means?”

You shrug. “Just do.” The elevator doors open and you step out, Pierre following. You halt, not knowing which hall to take. You glance up at your companion for help, only to find him staring back at you. “What?”

He shakes his head and leads you down the corridor to his room. It's a spacious corner suite, with huge windows facing Silverstone that give him a perfect view of the track. You make for the window but Pierre’s hand on your wrist stops you.

“I don’t think so, it’s time for you to sleep.”

“But I just wanna see,” You protest weakly.

“Nice try. I know you. You’ll sit in front of that window for hours if I let you.”

You give in only because he was right. Cityscapes of any kind drew your attention like a moth to a flame. You pouted anyway, but let him take you to the bedroom. Gentle pressure on your shoulders had you sinking into the plush mattress, groaning at the luxurious softness. Pierre laughs as he helps you out of your shoes and jeans, leaving the hoodie.

Eyelids drooping, you climb under the covers Pierre had pulled back for you. He tucks you in and kisses your temple. You grab for him, tugging on his shirt until he stoops down and gives you a proper kiss. When he steps out of your grasp, you panic.

“Stay,” You mumble, fear bubbling in your chest. He had to stay, he couldn’t leave, not when you only had this one night left-

“I’m just taking off my shoes,” He assures you, his weight sliding in behind you to settle against your back. You sigh, moulding yourself to him as best you could. Being in his arms was somehow familiar, even if he’d never held you like this. It felt like home.

“Pierre?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Pillowy soft lips press to the nape of your neck. “I love you too, mon coeur.”

Tagging: @flashcal

[contrispos]

Episode 8 - Reunion

[Star Wars: The Bad Batch]

WARNING: This thing is long AF

—

Oh no… oh shit… stop… Okay I’ve missed Mr Toothpick here we go

PLEASE LET HIM GO

LET HIM BE WITH HIS BROTHERS AGAIN GODDAMMIT

“It’s Clone Force 99” with a completely monotone voice… stop…

Can Lama Su stop calling them Experimental Unit 99??? THEY ARE SOLDIERS BITCH GIVE THEM SOME RESPECT

TERMINATE THEM?????????? FUCK YOU RAMPASS

Omega is so focused I love it🥺

Wrecker really knows his stuff… so much for being the dumb one(no offense)

Oh my god I know the stress she’s going through… gosh I hope Wrecker has a brain and doesn’t actually blow the whole thing up

YES UNCLE WRECKER

Mom is coming… Dad wants you back on the cruiser

ECHO DID A SUPERHERO LANDING

Awwwwwww I can’t with Wrecker and Omega🥺🥺🥺🥺

FUCK YOU SCRAPPERFUCKS

OH YEAH

THIS IS THE SOLDIER STUFF I CAME FOR

Can Omega stop being the cutest thing ever??

“That’s not comforting” Tech… I can’t explain how much I love you okay???

I got a bit of a heart attack when Wrecker hit his head AGAIN… but then I remembered the last episode…

TECH WHY DIDN’T YOU SHAVE THE OTHER SIDE??????? YOU HAD A CHANCE TO ACCEPT YOUR PUNK SIDE COME ON!!!!!!

Tech’s helmet is the cutest thing, he constantly looks like a little puppy🥺

I don’t like Hunter’s helmet tho… can’t explain it

Wrecker’s undying love for explosives, I can’t

No shit Tech, the lights LITERALLY JUST TURNED ON OF COURSE THE POWER IS BACK

TECH STOP BEING CUTE

I KNOW IT’S JUST HIS VOICE BUT IT’S CUTE AS HELL

THE WAY HE SAYS OMEGA

Echo… Just join Rex goddammit we know you want to

Is it just me or did Echo’s accent just fuck up a bit?? He almost sounded drunk… aRE yOu dRuNk?

YES IT’S THE TECH SCENE FROM THE TRAILER

HE’S TINKERING

TINKER ON BOY

COME ON TECH CAN YOU JUST GET PROPER ARMOR FOR GODS SAKE???? PROTECT YOUR THIGHS!!! PROTECT YOUR NECK!!!!! PROTECT YOUR BALLS I MEAN COME ON

Oh Tech my sweet, sweet darling Tech… JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS!!!! TALK ABOUT THE STRESS YOU WERE UNDER DURING THE WAR!!!! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEAR OF LOSING YOUR BROTHERS!!!! I WANT TO BE HURT REAL GOOD!!! IF I DON’T NEED THERAPY AFTER AN EPISODE YOU HAVE FAILED!!!!

Okay please tell me Omega is standing on something, I really don’t want Tech to have worse posture. I know he’s 6’4” so like Omega should be WAY shorter than that compared to him

Ah shiet

Stop

No

Company, leave!!

Go

Away

LISTEN HERE YOU GIRAFFE!!!! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS CHILD OKAY

Oh god

Stop this right now

DAMN HE IS LOOKING GOOD

sorry

I don’t like this

Crosshair knows them so well this isn’t good

WAS THAT??? NO IT CAN’T HAVE BEEN? WAS THAT HOPE IN HIS VOICE?? IS HE HAPPY TO FINALLY BE WITH THE BATCH????

Stop it I don’t like not liking clones

Oh Crosshair I have missed you and all but can you just like leave??

Oh my god the regs really are stupid huh?

Tech I love you you little smartass

Crosshair, stop it, get some help

I am honestly pissed at Tech, like constantly… WHY DOES HE GET FUCKING PERFECT THIGHS AND I DON’T

Oh hell nah

🎶 fuck this shit i’m out 🎶

i don’t like this

i’m scared

Tech you sneaky bastard

TECH STOP BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT MASS MURDER

I don’t like when Crosshair disrespects my children like that

I’m crying

this is too much

Omega, you get a golden star for being cute as fuck

Tech, you get a golden star for being cute as fuck

The rest of you, you get to sleep on the floor

OH HELL NO

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

“Your issue is with me, not her” Hunter, your dad is showing. Like literally it’s consuming you

HUNTER I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK THAT THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF HUG I MEANT

HOLY FUCK MY FAMILY IS HOME I CANT LAUGH NOW

THAT SCREAM

AHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Wrecker this isn’t a video game, you know that right??

TECH HOLDING OMEGAS HAND??? KILL ME NOW

WAIT

crosshair held the side of his head

DOES THAT MEAN????

weeeee a slide

Oh Wrecker I love you

We should let them have more slides

I think it could be mutually beneficial

They have fun, I get some extra serotonin

Hey! You should have let him finish!

What are the engines capable of, Tech? *blinks unnaturally quickly*

HUNTER HOW FUCKING STRONG ARE YOU???

How did you do that? I wanna save Tech too 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Crosshair clearly isn’t used to talking this much, his voice sounds kinda sore…

Tech could you maybe like, stop being emotionless? YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE

holy fuck they’re gonna die

no

ohhhh no

no no no no no no no

OH YEAH MY SMART BABIES I LOVE YOU

OH MY GOD

they really are a group of dads

NOOOOO TURN THEM OFF

CROSSHAIR

NO

STOP

TURN THE ENGINES OFF MY BABY IS DYING

Omegas little welps🥺🥺🥺

CROSSHAIR MY CHILD

HE LOOKED SO SCARED

okay, who did that?

CAD FUCKING BANE????????

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

THIS JUST BECAME A WHOLE ASS WESTERN

THE MUSIC AHHHHHH

HOLY FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT ID BE EXCITED ABOUT CAD BANE YET HERE WE ARE

no

stop

nuh uh

nope

i’m out

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

NO

HUNTER

STOP

OMEGA

Oh no

Crosshair is properly fucked

oh shit

IT CANT STOP THERE

okay not gonna lie that was a gorgeous scene

is that what it looks like in their helmets??? really? I thought is was just like, a window, but this makes more sense

HOLY FUCK

created by DAVE FILONI yeah bitch I am gunning for you. I will find you, and i will kill you.

BITCH

[pika-ace]

I FINALLY SAW THE IN THE HEIGHTS MOVIE

HOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST WITNESSED MANNA FROM THE FUCKING GODS

My skin is clear, my children are fed, and my crops are thriving and I have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! Seriously, do not read if you want to see the movie, I want you to experience this emotional ride yourselves

- I don't really need to talk about the music because, as expected, it was top-notch. Everyone was great, great voices, god-tier dancing, just good shit all around

- Songs are cut and things are changed, but honestly, NOTHING was lost so there's no need to worry. For every story element they take away, they add SO MUCH MORE with the changes they made to make up for it. It's like ITH for the first time all over again :D

- First up, Usnavi. MY GOD ANTHONY RAMOS, I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON YOU FOR SO LONG! I never paid him any mind back in the day because his face was just plastered all over Lams stuff (UGGGGH) so seeing him doing his own thing SEPARATE from that? I WAS ONCE BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

- The whole beach story-telling thing was throwing me off the whole time. I remember how PETRIFIED everyone was when the trailers showed that, but I had faith that there was a point to it and I WAS RIGHT!! The SECOND Sonny pointed out that green crab he painted, it was like a slap in the face, and when Usnavi started his whole 'There goes my flight' part, my cousin and I silently fist pumped in pure joy

- Also, USNAVI👏AND👏VANESSA👏AS👏MARRIED👏BUSINESS👏PARTNERS👏FUCKING👏ALL👏MY👏YES (Why did none of us think of this before????)

- USNAVI AND VANESSA GETTING A CANONICAL DAUGHTER, FUCKING YES PLEASE, PUT THAT HAT ON HER HEAD

- Next, Nina. Just...OH her voice...so soft...so gentle...I could fall asleep to that shit...

- The extra details of her being discriminated against at Stanford, just...DAMN, that shit HURTED. Best Girl doesn't deserve that shit!!!

- And her deciding to go back after learned that Sonny wants to be like her but can't due to discrimination just...BEST GIRL

- Benny just...OOZED charm, man. It almost makes me sad that he and Nina didn't play as big a role in the movie as they did in the play compared to Usnavi and Vanessa. ALMOST.

- Speaking of, Vanessa got an expanded role, HELL TO THE FUCKING YES. (She got a last name change from Otilla Garcia to Morales, but hey, her last name was just a workshop thing anyway so it's JUST not-canon enough to make changing it acceptable)

- Vanessa being the one who decided on the mural thing and getting Pete and Sonny to help just...BEAUTIFUL. That's TRUE LOVE right there

- Lin as Piragua Guy and Chris Jackson as Mr. Softee; that was the funniest meta shit I've EVER seen.

- I?? Did not expect?? To come out of this LOVING Kevin Rosario??? Like, he was SO MUCH BETTER and less antagonistic??? And I LOVED IT??

- Seriously though, getting rid of his prejudice against Benny was THE MOST WELCOME CHANGE in this whole movie (to me at least). When those two were together in the dispatch during the Blackout and helping people, that was just *chef's kiss* That was the pseudo-father-son shit I have been CRAVING for those two!

- Blackout was much less scary and chaotic than we were led to believe in the stage play; a part of me was disappointed, but the way they made it with everyone taking it in stride made up for it. It was like 'Aw dammit, blackout! Welp, bust out the fireworks and the Bingo boards, we're gonna be in the dark for a while, you all know the drill.'

- Also, lights turning back on RIGHT after Carnival del Barrio? Nice touch 👌

- Pete was SO GOOD. Favorite scene:

Usnavi, with Sonny: You're out here; who's watching the store? *points to Pete who's booking it out of the store having stolen something*

Sonny: *runs after him* PETE NO, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!!!

- Age gap still seems a bit ambiguous between Sonny and Pete, so until confirmation is given, this pairing is staying EXPLICITLY in the stage version tag on Ao3 XD

- PETE PROVIDING VANESSA WITH INSPIRATIONAL MATERIALS, THAT IS A FACET OF FRIENDSHIP I NEVER KNEW I WANTED

- Also, appreciate Usnavi being MUCH less antagonistic towards Pete, just treating him as an annoying kid that enjoys getting a rise out of him rather than a vandal that's a bad influence who Usnavi WILL call the cops on if pushed.

- Daniela and Carla were REALLY awesome together and I'm DOWN for them being a couple, even though Hollywood STILL decided to be cowards about it with no on-screen kiss or mention that they were girlfriends (come on guys, it's 2021, stop hiding the gays!!)

- Abuela. ABUELAAAAAAAA. NEED I SAY MORE????

Usnavi: I wanna take you and Sonny to DR

Abuela: I'm not leaving without Sonny

Me: MY QUEEN, YEEEEES

- When I saw her lying down during Blackout and staring at Usnavi and Sonny and then started transitioning into Paciencia y Fe, my writer brain IMMEDIATELY began putting those metaphor pieces together and was like 'No...no no no no NO, don't you do this to me, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THIS TO ME-'

- Alabanza had me sobbing; no comment.

- The lotto money twist was SO GOOD??? Like, my cousin and I were VERY concerned when it wasn't brought up AT ALL, but then when it turns out she saved the ticket to give to Usnavi as a final gift after her death just...TEARS EVERYWHERE

- And last but not least...Sonny. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny SONNYYYYYYYYYYY! My son, my child, the light of my life, the stars in my sky, was given justice on this day!!!

- HE HAS A DAD!! IT'S A SHITTY DAD BUT HE HAS A PLACE TO LIVE!!! IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAD BEFORE AND I THANK BASED LMM FOR GIVING MY BOY THE BACKSTORY HE DESERVED!! (Fanfic writers, I expect MOUNTAINS of angst and hurt/comfort from you all with this new material!)

- RIP Smol Sonny, but that baby face of his MORE than made up for it :3c

- Usnavi WANTING to take Sonny to DR right off the bat, just...THANK YOU. That was DESPERATELY NEEDED and was even wrapped up early and neatly with Sonny saying to Usnavi 'Nah, I grew up here in NY, I have no memories of DR but YOU do, so if you wanna go, then go, I like it here.' and since he HAS A FUCKING HOME here, the worry for his well-being is GONE and it feels GOOD.

- Learning Sonny was undocumented was a PUNCH IN THE FUCKING HEART! My mind IMMEDIATELY reminded me when his dad asked Usnavi why he only paid Sonny in cash and the FACE HE MADE when Nina said that undocumented kids can't get in college just BABY NOOOOOOOOOO

- Usnavi. Using. The goddamn lotto money. TO GET SONNY DOCUMENTED. MY DE LA VEGA COUSIN LOVING HEART HAS FUCKING ASCENDED AND IS NEVER COMING BACK DOWN. DADNAVI SUPREMACY.

Do I have ANY gripes with this movie? Yes, I do.

THEY FUCKING KILLED CAMILA. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEST MOM GETTING THE DISNEY TREATMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:/

Other than that though, this movie is a 10/10, go see it. Right now. I mean it.

[codenamethebird]

Celestia and Dreams (Genshin Impact Theory)

Ok so this is going to a very long meta post about my thoughts on Celestia, what Dainsleif means by those who “dare to dream”, what is the dream, Khaenri'ah, and just all that stuff, Archons the like. This is going to cover a lot, but hopefully it will all make sense in a cohesive manner. Basically, I’m going to explain why Celestia is the true enemy, and how we are totally going to send that floating island crashing to the earth and allow Teyvat to dream again.  

Warning Spoilers for like everything so far (1.3, including Hu Tao's story quest), also I will talk about some stuff from the “Teyvat Chapter Storyline Preview: Travail” video, so if you’ve been avoiding stuff like that, um, leave this post.

To start, I want to note that I am treating the Archons and Celestia/The Divine as different entities. Well, more accurately if we are going for a metaphor, if the world is a giant corporation, Celestia is the President/board of directors, the Archons are just the middle managers. There are several lines in Dain’s trailer that hint to the Archons and Celestia being not necessarily allies for example in the Water Archon's section “The God of Justice lives for the spectacle of the courtroom, seeking to judge all other gods. But even she knows not to make an enemy of the divine.” Implying that she as an archon is beholden to the divine, and of course our dear Tsaritsa’s “Her followers hope only to be on her side when the day of her rebellion against the divine comes at last.” Which yeah, definitely puts her in opposition to Celestia. On that note, super interesting how seemingly all the “enemies” of the game are acting in opposition to Celestia (Dain, probably the abyss order, Fatui, etc). 

Anyways now that’s out of the way, what does it mean to dream in Genshin Impact? Dreaming comes up an awful lot, but not necessarily in the way you might expect, like look at these two lines from Albedo and Dainsleif (two associated with Khaenri'ah)

“The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time.” Albedo

“In the perpetual meantime of a sheltered eternity, most are content to live, and not to dream. But in the hidden corners where the gods' gaze does not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming” Dain

I’ll return to the heaven reversed part, but the “the earth is a dream lost to time” and the “most are content to live, and not to dream'' are interesting parallels. The implication being that the people of Teyvat, under the god’s eyes, aren’t dreaming. Only Khaenri'ah’s (where the gods’ gaze does not fall) dare to dream.

I think the line “perpetual meantime of a sheltered eternity” is important, in reflecting the current state of Teyvat. I have spent a long time thinking about what those a bunch of complicated words mushed together in a line might mean, and I think I have come to a conclusion. That sentence has a lot to do with time (Albedo also mentions it too), specifically however time not moving forward. I don’t necessarily mean that literally, but in a sense that Teyvat is not progressing. It’s trapped in a perpetual meantime, lost to time. But well ok, what am I saying? How do we gauge progress, how do we note the passage of time, what makes today different than yesterday, then 100, a thousand years previously? What hasn’t changed for Teyvat since the rise of the archons?

Well, technology of course! While we don’t have the clearest view of this, there is very little evidence if any at all that in the past 2,000 years humanity has made any major technological progress. Honestly there is more evidence that they have regressed in technology! Look at the ruin guards and other stuff like that which implies earlier civilizations had much more advanced technology. Basically, what I am trying to say is that Celestia has been intentionally stopping humanity from advancing technology because they know that if Teyvat advances enough the gods won’t be needed anymore, and humanity might pose a threat to their power. Notably Snezhnaya, who I have already mentioned is planning to rebel against Celestia, has the most advanced tech in Teyvat (except maybe Khaenri'ah).

We have evidence in them already doing that too! Look at the lore from Dragonspine, which tells the tale of an advanced (look at their fancy tech in the ruins) quite happy civilization, that one day Celestia sent down the nail and froze the place, killing everyone off (and maybe turning them into monsters, that seems to be a theme with them so I wouldn’t be surprised). The scribe box even says this “I've heard of people who are building a new nation without gods. Perhaps they'll have the power to stand against this world.” Which definitely implies Celestia did them dirty, also I am pretty sure that is referring to Khaenri'ah, which is a good segway.

I think that’s the same thing that happened to Khaenri'ah, they advanced too far (they became experts at life creation alchemy as Albedo says), dared to create a civilization without a god, so Celestia struck them down. I would even hazard a guess that Gold’s greed and massive army were exaggerated lies (if they are in fact Albedo’s master, Durin spoke of his mother quite nicely), and even if there is some truth in that, I think they were just an excuse. A way they could spin this curse into a warning to the rest. 

Another possible example of this happening is the Guili Assembly. They were seemingly doing pretty great (in general it seems there were plenty of societies doing pretty well, the salt god's kingdom etc) and Guizhong notably from the Memory of Dust description said this

"Because they are afraid, they try so hard to become more intelligent. This I understand." "So I thought that since there is such a gulf between us in strength, I should use technique and wisdom instead."

Guizhong was creating advanced technology (ex. her ballista) to help humanity, and conveniently she died in the Archon War, which was caused by Celestia going ‘hey there are 7 seats here, fight amongst yourselves’. I am not necessarily saying Guizhong was intentionally killed by Celestia, making it look like she died as a tragedy of the war but also yes. But even if my conspiracy theory there is wrong, Celestia intentionally created a survival of the fittest war where of course the warriors would win. 

And who suffered the worst from the Archon War? Yes, a ton of gods died until there were only 7, but those who suffered most were humanity. Hu Tao’s story quest talks about how not just conflict killed humans but curses and disease totally screwed them over and it was only due to people like Hu Tao’s family that saved them, not the gods. It all points to the fact that Celestia doesn’t care about humans whatsoever.

“This world has people who gained Visions, and those who did not. Which of the two do you think hold more importance in the eyes of the gods?” Dainsleif

“Perhaps... none of them do” The Traveler

This conversation from Dain’s world quest stood out to me a lot, and I find that one Traveler response option to be the canonical one, and if it isn’t, it's notably what your sibling would have said. In the eyes of the Gods, in the eyes of Celestia, humanity is all the same, vision, no vision, they are all pawns, means to an end.

“The gods goad us on with the promise of their seven treasures. Rewards for the worthy. The doorway to divinity. Yet buried in the depths of this world lies smoldering remains, a warning to those that dare trespass. ‘That throne in the sky is not reserved for you’ ” Dainsleif 

All allogenes have the possibility of ascension, of becoming gods, but as Dainsleif says here, at how the Sustainer of Heavenly principles responds to you and your sibling literally leaving the planet, it’s just a false promise. They make one or two rise, the exceptions like Vennessa, so that it seems you achieve that, so that you will work and worship them, but no one really will ever get there.

(also blatant self-promotion, but I have another theory that we will get a later boss fight where Vennessa will be forced to fight us by Celestia that I drew here.)

And I think it's also true in the reverse, those of Khaenri'ah are viewed as sinners, as the cursed, those who dared to defy the Gods and have suffered for it. The warning to the rest (that “smoldering remains” that Dain references). But as I said before, humanity in the rest of Teyvat isn’t viewed any better. Khaenri'ah is underground, a literal hell of sorts, but Teyvat is the one ruled by Demons. Barbatos, Morax, (Paimon) etc. Khaenri'ah might be hell but so is the rest of Teyvat. Bringing back Albedo’s line “The universe is heaven reversed”, heaven reversed is hell. They are all viewed the same. (also, if that one Teyvat is upside down/underground theory is true, then literally there is no difference between Khaenri'ah and Teyvat, they are all underneath Celestia and the Abyss (which is likely to be connected through the spirals)). Also “perpetual meantime of a sheltered eternity” gives me purgatory vibes which is also applicable here.

To continue my 'everyone's the same to Celestia' rant, look at the archons. I already talked about how I think the Archon War was a big scheme to consolidate power but look at the gnosis. They are literal chess pieces. They might be fancy chess pieces with lots of power but at the end of the day they are just pieces on the board for Celestia to play with and discard if necessary. No one is more important to Celestia, they are all pawns to keep their power.

So, to wrap up, Celestia has been keeping Teyvat (and possibly the rest of this planet) strictly under its control by dividing its population, ruining everyone who dares defy, and sabotaging Teyvat’s technological advancement. Forcing the world to remain in a “perpetual meantime”. However, there are currently movements within Teyvat to fight back against this, the Fatui, the Abyss Order (possibly) and Dainsleif/ Khaenri'ah. In the case of Khaenri'ah specifically, I’ve talked about this in another post, but I think Kaeya being the so called only hope implies that he is instrumental in their plans to defeat Celestia. Specifically I think they are trying to make him into an archon/human weapon to fight Celestia, but who knows. As I said before Khaenri'ah is known for its life creating alchemy so I think it’s related.

Either way Khaenri'ah is daring to dream, to dream of a world without the gods, where technology and humanity can flourish. And I think, you, the Traveler from afar, will be instrumental in deciding if they will succeed.

 Anyways hope you all enjoyed and if anyone wants to talk about this and other theories let me know!

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Scarlett Johansson x Reader : Another Round

4 - “Kiss me.” 16 - “Can you just hold me?” 39 - “You’re safe now, I’m here.”

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,506

* * * * * *

You pour a generous amount of scotch over the ice and set the glass on a napkin in front of your customer. With a nod to him you turn toward the shelves of liquor. 

The bell above the door rings followed by a wave of laughter and joyful chatter. Familiar voices fill the establishment and you look over to the large group. 

E/c eyes meet green and you send a quick wink her way, the blush spreading across her clear skin making you smirk.

“Y/nn!” 

Wiping the surface of the bar down, you whip out a round tray,“ Evans, the usual I’m assuming.” He nods with his usual boyish smile and you get to work making their drinks.“ So, you all look incredibly dapper tonight, what’s the occasion?” 

“Premier. Very successful end to a long era.” His smile is bittersweet. 

Right. Endgame. You’d watched nonstop trailers and seeing as you’ve been following the MCU since Iron Man, you have to admit you hate that this is an end of something. And you’re equally as excited for whatever Marvel has next.

“Oooo, premier huh? In that case, this rounds on me.”

The offer is quickly shot down by the man but you insist. Unsurely so, he picks up the tray and goes to join his cast. Whatever he says has them raising their glasses in your direction and you lift your water to them. 

Just like always, you continue to serve your other customers, sending a server over with the cast’s refills. And as always they stay a little past closing time, your servers having left, and you having cleaned up for the most part. 

Members of the cast leave sporadically, most of them having kids to get home to. It dwindles down to a mere three of them and even though it’s thirty minutes to closing, you don’t ask them to leave. Especially since Evans doesn’t look like he can stand.

Another bell chime grabs your attention and you look up to see two guys coming inside.

“Aye fellas, we’re closing, sorry.” 

The bigger one frowns, pointing to the group of actors in the back corner. The other one smacks a hand on his shoulder,“ just one round.”

Sighing deeply, you nod towards the end of the bar. They order scotch and beer, simple enough to make, so you leave them to it after serving it. 

“Hey Y/n.” 

With a smile, you look over at the two women,“ hello ladies, is there anything I can help you with?”

Scarlett leans on the bar top,“ I can think of a few things actually.”

Her flirting is not new. In fact with this being the cast's regular watering hole you’ve started a bit of a relationship with her. Flirtatious banter slipped its way into your nightly conversations. And somewhere along those lines you developed feelings for her. 

Who wouldn’t though? She’s incredible. 

“Another round being one,” Elizabeth says, nudging Scarlett teasingly. 

You smile over at the young brunette and nod,“ comin up.” 

“Oo Oo, and that fruity blue drink you made me last time.” She adds.

Leave it to Elizabeth to want a blended drink at the end of the night. But it’s her and when she’s giving that adorable smile you can’t say no.

Turning around you start on her drink first, pouring the ice and mixes of liquor into the blender, you turn it on. God you hate how loud this old thing is. 

“-way from me!”

You frown, shouting the blender off.

“Stop touching me!”

Like lightning, you spin around. Anger bursts through you at the sight you find. The two guys standing at Scarlett and Elizabeth’s side. One of them has his fingers running through Lizzie’s hair and the other is running his hands down Scarlett’s arms.

Teeth gritted, you round the bar in fury. The first thing you do is shove the guy away from Lizzie, moving quickly to the bigger one. With a glare he advances to you but you side step, kicking in the back of his knee, making him fall. 

You wrap an arm around his neck and press the palm of your hand to his temple. Then you face the man who tries to come at you.

“Another step and I break his neck and then yours.” He dares to move so you tighten your hold on his friends neck, making the guy wince. Smaller man stops and you force the big guy to stand.“ Let me see you both out.”

In fear of you killing his friend and the other in fear of dying, they cooperate. At the door, you shove them both out, giving an extra kick to the bigger guy.

The breath you had been holding escapes you harshly and you blink a few times to still yourself. You have no idea what you would’ve done if he didn’t buy it. Even though you’ve broken up a number of bar fights, you’d never actually killed anyone and you don’t plan to but you didn’t know what else to do without the usual security. 

You look back at the two women to see Elizabeth trying to calm Scarlett. The blonde breathes heavily, eyes shining with tears. 

“Hey, hey,” you walk over and place a cautious hand over hers.“ You’re safe now, I’m here okay?”

The woman practically falls into your arms, hands clutching your frightenedly. A soft, almost missable cry leaves her and it breaks your heart.

“Scar, what can I do?” You ask, wanting nothing more than to make her feel better.

Her head shakes, words spoken quietly,“ can you just hold me?” 

Not needing to say anything, you pull her closer, arms tight around her. 

The two of you stay like that for a minute, you not even daring to move until she’s loosening her grip. In that time you’d instructed Elizabeth to go get Chris and you order them a car. Both of them left together after Chris drank some water and sobered up.

The woman in your arms backs away, shakily wiping away a stray tear.“ I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize at all alright. Just- are you okay?”

She nods,“ yeah, I think so. I just want to get home.”

“Of course, just give me a second to-”

Scarlett shakes her head,“ you’ve done more than enough Y/n, I’m fine.”

“Um no. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you leave by yourself, especially not after what just happened.” You frown at her.“ At least let me follow you home.”

It’s a moment before she agrees. She waits for you to lock up and then you’re walking her to her car. And, as you said, following her home. 

Getting out of your car, you walk her to the door. It worries you that she’s still shaking a little and if this weren’t California you could at least chalk it up to the cold.

“Scarlett, hey,” you reach for her hand, tugging just barely so she looks at you,“ I can’t tell you how much I wish earlier didn’t happen but you’re okay now. Really.”

Her jaw trembles when she goes to speak, deciding to nod instead. 

“Come here.” You pull her closer with a hand to her shoulder and she allows herself to be comforted by you. 

Your arms wrap around her shoulders as hers wrap around your middle. She rests her head on your chest with a heavy breath.

The silence is stilling and more peaceful than she could ask for. Being in your arms makes her feel a thousand times better. You hate that she even needs to be comforted. You hate that this happened.

“I’m sorry. I never should’ve let them in.” 

Pulling away, Scarlett cups the sides of your neck,“ it’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.”

“But I let them in.” You sigh.

Her fingers apply an almost unnoticeable amount of pressure to the nape of your neck,“ you didn’t make them harass us. It wasn’t you that forced them to do anything, it was their decision.” She steps a little closer,“ but it was you that stopped them, you saved us.”

“And I’d do it again.” You speak, honestly and care the most prominent emotions in your eyes.

The corners of her lips tug up into a smile and she tilts her head a little,“ kiss me.”

With a smile of your own, you close the short gap between you. Lips meet in a slow, passionate, burning kiss. Scarlett’s hum of approval vibrating through the interaction. 

“Thank you.” Her words a breath on your lips.

“Anytime Miss Johansson, though I’d prefer not to have to.”

Slowly, you break away from each other. You immediately miss the closeness. Not wanting things to become awkward, you back away, back stepping down the stairs. 

Just as you hear her door open you build the courage to spin around and call to her.“ Would you maybe, want to grab dinner with me sometime?”

Green eyes glance away in thought before she smiles amusedly,“ I’d love to.”