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#how to boost confidence
aaronabke · 1 year
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Breaking Chains: Discovering Your Inner Light's Strength 🌎
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In this video, I'm talking about ditching imposter syndrome and how to overcome it. Let's deep dive into the video to learn more about how to conquer imposter syndrome and unlock your true potential.
👉 Subscribe to my channel to stay tuned: https://cutt.ly/H9WXgs5
Imposter syndrome is not a life sentence. It is the internal psychological experience of feeling like a phony in some area of your life. Here are some insights to assist you in getting out of your own way and owning your unique brilliance. Imposter syndrome is when we can arrive sometimes in a situation where there is a certain level of success either an opportunity or a particular milestone in our lives or in our businesses. But we are not able to fully appreciate it and enjoy it. Because we don't feel worthy of it.
So, ultimately the source of what is lying underneath the imposter syndrome is unworthiness. So if we can excavate that unworthiness, we can actually not suffer from imposter syndrome and that comes down to excavating that unworthiness but also being authentic, not pretending not trying to fake it till you make it. When you fake it till you make it you get so used to pretending that when you have actually succeeded you're not able to recognize it.
Overcoming imposter syndrome involves changing a person's mindset about their own abilities. Imposters feel like they don’t belong, so acknowledging their expertise and accomplishments is key, as is reminding themselves that they earned their place in their academic or professional environment.
Reflecting on your concrete achievements, sharing your feelings with a loved one, expecting to make mistakes at the beginning of a new experience, and seeking out a mentor who has charted a similar path are a few of the concrete steps that can fight imposter syndrome.
About Cha Higginson: Cha Higginson is a spiritual mentor, hypnotherapist, and shamanic healer who works with awakening individuals who are seeking to connect with their true selves, get out of their own way and start living life by design rather than by default.
Cha is known for doing the spiritual stuff, without the fluff. She works with creative entrepreneurs and conscious organizations who seek purpose, fulfillment, abundance, and wellness in all areas of life.
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gabe-lovebot · 6 months
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councilor 3D model
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i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
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please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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saytrrose · 7 months
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How come nobody simps for YOU
LMFAO WHAT HESLKDBD
If this gets 300 notes I’ll draw art more art of myself and shit ig like a bunch of stuff
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lauraneedstochill · 2 years
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Make a move
summary: you think Aemond is too arrogant to woo you, but he’s got some tricks up his sleeve. pairing: Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader words: ~ 6000 warnings: a bit of bickering and teasing, it gets slightly heated (Aemond has a praise kink, but I doubt anyone is surprised), mostly it’s just silly fluff author’s note: this was inspired by “Crazy, stupid, love”, particularly the scene where Emma kisses Ryan (one of my favorite on-screen kisses!) and everything that follows. I recently rewatched the movie and had an idea for this story (also, I may or may not have a thing for men’s hands... you’ve been warned)
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You keep mindlessly tapping your fingers on the wooden table, your cup of wine untouched. You don’t really notice the movement, too wrapped up in your thoughts, until your friend Margaret sneers.
“If you don’t stop, I might bite your hand off,” she says, sitting across the table.
“Then I’ll use the other one,” you huff but pause your fidgeting. “Better bite my head off, it will do us both more good.”
“But I like your head very much,” she pouts. “Is this about Thomas again?”
You groan, hiding your face in your hands and thinking back to the conversation you had earlier today with said man. Your emotions are a mix of annoyance and embarrassment as you can’t stop thinking about his words.
“He said the meeting will be of great importance. What if he...? You know,” you mutter, and Margaret huffs.
“I hope he won’t.”
“Hey, you are supposed to be my friend!” you playfully pinch her hand, and she fakes a gasp.
“I am your friend. And as your friend, I think you deserve way more than that sad excuse of a man,” her face gets serious for a second, and you feel your smile waver.
“Mar, you know I don’t have much of a choice,” you breathe out, and your heart sinks at the thought. “He isn’t that bad, really. He’s always been kind to me.”
“Sounds like every girl's dream,” she rolls her eyes. “And you want to settle down for a kind man? Nothing else?”
“What do you think my options are? Please, enlighten me since I’m clearly missing something,” you cross arms on your chest. You know she’s right and she means good, but your frustration gets the best of you.
Luckily, Margaret catches it and gives you a sympathetic smile.
“All I’m saying is that for as long as I can remember you’ve always dreamt of something more,” she extends her hand across the table and lightly squeezes yours. “We’ve been friends since we were little kids, and you are the most loving person out of everyone I know. Should I remind you who taught me how to dance? Protected me against my idiot brothers?” you giggle at the memory. “You’ve got an adventurous spirit and a heart of gold. You deserve an epic love story,” there’s a hint of sadness in her voice.
For a minute you sink into your thoughts again.
“And you think Thomas is not the one?” you sigh.
“He’s epically boring at best,” Margaret takes a sip out of her cup. “I know he’s not the one — and you do, too.”
“My parents approve of him,” you try to argue, but she’s quick to object.
“They only care about your approval. And they mistakenly took your lack of protest for it,” Margaret gives you a gloomy look.
“You are aware that I can’t wait forever, right? I’m not getting any younger.”
“Nor smarter,” she snickers.
“Not everyone is lucky to meet the love of their life at the age of ten-and-two,” you frown. Margaret and Jamie got married three years ago, but they have been betrothed for seven prior to that.
“Fair,” she beams, and you can’t stay irritated for long. They are still ridiculously in love with each other, and you are really happy for her. You just wish to feel that, too. You crave that indescribable feeling of longing and wanting and caring for someone else — and being loved just as much in return.
“Maybe the concept of love is overrated,” you ramble. “It was easy to believe in when I was a kid but... As I am growing older, it’s getting harder to cling to hope, I guess. And I’m trying to make an effort and meet new people and... to show just enough character to not scare them away,” you quote your mother. “Yet all of them just make me feel nothing. At all. And I—” you realize that Margaret isn’t listening, her gaze is on something else behind your back. “Hey, I’m pouring out my heart of gold,” you hiss, and her sight shifts to you.
Before you can question her behavior, she informs. “Someone’s been keeping an eye on you.”
“Margaret, I’m trying to have a serious conversation about my future,” you fight the urge to turn around.
“Maybe this is your future!” she winks, and you grunt at her silliness.
“We are in a tavern out of all places! I’d rather take a kind man as my betrothed than a drunk one,” you’re about to scold her, but your friend’s eyes go wide.
“His hair,” her voice is barely above the whisper. “I can make out the strands of silver,” Margaret slightly leans towards you. “You know what that means?”
“That you had too much wine? Mayhaps we should head home,” you suggest, but your friend protests.
“Sit down!” she shushes. “He is coming over here,” Margaret puts on a smile that looks painfully forged. The never-ending chattering of people around you makes your head hurt, and you’re too tired to play along.
“Mar, it’s been a long day, and the last thing I want is to waste my time entertaining some man’s arrogance and...,” you don’t get to finish because he interrupts your train of thought. 
“What if a man entertains you?” his voice is low and cocky. You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. You don’t want to make a scene in a public place so you pull yourself together, thinking that you can talk your way out of this ridiculous situation.
But when you turn to him, your eyes meeting his, your plan is suddenly forgotten.
He is taller than you, a black cloak covering most of his body and his head, so your attention is naturally drawn to his face. He wears an eyepatch, and you look over his sharp features — his prominent nose, high cheekbones that flow down to the curved contour of lips, plump and alluring. Margaret was right about the hair, but she failed to mention the color of his eye. Taking that into account, it’s not hard to guess that he’s a Targaryen. Which means that he definitely is arrogant.
Well, two can play that game.
You ignore his question and pointedly don’t stand up in his presence.
“To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?”
“I believe the pleasure is all mine,” he is only looking at you.
“We just met, you should not jump to conclusions,” you feel Margaret kicking your leg under the table but dismiss her warning.
“Sharp tongue,” he notes.
“Will this be a problem?” you challenge him.
“On the contrary,” it sounds like he’s actually enjoying it.
It is tricky to read his intentions. But when his gaze is concentrated on you, it makes you feel like there’s no one else in the room, and that sensation is thrilling.
“What brings you here, if I may ask?” you press, trying to ignore the unknown feeling creeping up on you.
“It is a nice tavern, wouldn’t you say so? Since you are here, too.” 
“No, I mean what brings you to our table. There are plenty of others you could’ve graced with your presence.”
“Something must’ve caught my eye,” he says, and you see a hint of a smile on his lips.
“Some thing? Well, the interior isn’t very eye-catching if you ask me. But we might have to disagree on that.”
“You aren’t being very agreeable, it seems.”
“That’s what servants are for, and I’m not one,” you’re being defiant yet it doesn’t bother him.
“Please, do tell me more about yourself,” he swiftly pulls up a nearby chair and sits right next to you, his eye never leaving your face.
“Should you pull another one? For your ego, since it takes quite a lot of space.”
He squints at your words, and the corners of his mouth turn into a grin.
“I think we have that in common,” he bites back, but there’s no anger in his voice. If anything, the man looks curious, and you have to admit that you don’t take offense at his wit.
“Are there any other far-reaching conclusions that you managed to come up to?” you turn your body to him, so now you two are opposite each other.
“I only got here a few minutes ago. But I am a great observer should you give me a little more time.”
“Am I supposed to take your word for it? You are not as convincing as you think,” you impugn, so he pauses briefly.
“You don’t trust people easily, do you? How’s that for an observation,” his voice gets quiet, but his gaze is piercing.
“Men,” you correct him. “I don’t trust men.”
“Any of them dared to break your trust?” he gets a little closer, and you instinctively gravitate toward him.
“That would’ve required them to gain my trust first,” you retort.
“And what would it take for me to do so?”
“Do you expect me to make it easy? That’s not very observant of you,” your grin matches his own.
“Nothing good comes easy,” he murmurs, and you involuntarily lay your eyes on his lips. “But I expect it to be worth it.”
You feel a pull toward him, something that’s hard to describe but oh so natural to give into. His confidence isn’t intimidating but rather attractive, and you can’t help but notice how his gaze warms up your whole body. He makes you feel wanted without even doing anything.
But then you think of Thomas. Of the upcoming meeting and your future that depends on it. And you know you can’t throw it all away for some silly conversation with a self-confident stranger. No matter how enjoyable it seems to be.
You bite your lip and look away from him.
“That is enough entertainment for today,” you put some distance between you two. When you give him a quick glance, you catch a shadow of disappointment on his face.
“Didn’t take you for a quitter,” the blond comments.
“You should manage your expectations.”
“Maybe I should manage yours,” he has some nerve. 
“That would be very time-consuming,” you suddenly realize that he’s sitting in your way, and it looks like he isn’t going to move.
“Are you in a rush?”
“I am” — “She isn’t,” you and Margaret say at the same time. You feel your cheeks heating up as you give her a death stare.
“Has anyone told you that you look charming when you are embarrassed?” he remarks, and you want to wipe the smirk off his face. Preferably with your lips. You mentally scold yourself and push that thought away.
“Does this usually work for you?” you get up, thinking of a way out.
“You tell me,” he leans back on his chair with a shit-eating grin on his face, clearly aware that he's blocking your exit.
“Cornering women in taverns is your way of courting?” you think how to distract him, but nothing springs to mind. “And then what, you just drag them into your man cave?”
“They come voluntarily,” it looks like your words struck a chord, but he keeps up the facade of indifference. “I happen to live nearby,” he notes casually.
“We both know that’s not exactly true,” you scoff with a tilt of your head. You are positive that the walk to the castle will take at least thirty minutes.
“Want to bet?” he sits up straight.
“And what do I get out of this?”
He looks you up and down before answering:
“Me.”
He’s pushing his luck at this point.
You glance around and take note that the tavern is packed with people, and no one is paying attention to you. You also realize that Margaret already sneaked out and is standing at the door. She raises an eyebrow with a silent question, as if asking what are you going to do.
That’s when you decide you can push some boundaries, too.
Your eyes are back on the man in front of you. Without giving it a second thought, you step closer to him.
“Was that supposed to make me weak in the knees?” you whisper, and his face expression melts into an amused one. Seizing the moment, you yank your dress up and throw a leg over him. He immediately looks down at the exposed skin of your thigh, his mouth is slightly agape as he’s now sitting between your legs. You see him tensing up, his fingers clenching into fists as if he’s fighting the urge to put his hands on you. You think that if he does, you are not going anywhere. You wouldn’t want to go anywhere — the realization makes you tremble, and you know that you don’t have much time.
You boldly place your hand on his shoulder, pressing him back onto the chair.
“I hate to break it to you, but you are not that impressive,” you say, throwing your other leg over him and successfully moving away.
When you get to the door, the look on Margaret’s face is priceless. You grab her by the arm and drag her outside in a hurry, merging into the crowd of passers-by.
“I need you to explain what the h—” she starts, but you interrupt her.
“Please, don’t,” you snarl. “Don’t say anything, just give me five minutes.”
You can’t even explain to yourself what happened back there and why you did that. You think of his gaze roaming over your body, the depth of his voice and the curves of his lips. You tell yourself that you need to get him out of your head as soon as possible. You fail miserably.
One week later, you are dining with Thomas at his house, and yet your mind wanders back to the arrogant one-eyed man. Aemond, as you’ve learned — and it wasn’t that you wanted to, but fate had other plans.
And by fate, you mean Margaret.
Once her five minutes were up, she couldn’t stop talking. By the time you came home, you got his whole backstory — the second-born son of the King, has two brothers and two sisters, rides the biggest dragon in the world. Overly confident, stubborn, wears an eyepatch because he doesn’t want to scare the ladies of the court. Usually doesn’t talk much.
Unlike Thomas who gathered his whole family and can’t stop blabbing. You struggle to participate in their conversation, giving polite smiles left and right. You don’t know what to expect of the evening, and it makes you nervous. And not in a good way. All of a sudden the possibility of marrying Thomas doesn’t seem to be the best.
From the corner of your eye, you catch him standing up, clearly readying himself for a speech. He has a manner of pursing his lips every time he’s agitated, and it looks weird. That’s also how it felt when he kissed you, which is probably the reason you haven’t done much kissing after that. You wonder what it’s like to kiss Aemond. Just thinking of it makes your heart rate speed up, and you nervously gulp half a cup of wine.
“I gathered all of you today to make an important announcement,” he starts his pompous monologue, “that may not come as a surprise to some of you.”
You cautiously look at the door.
“But, as of recently, I received inspiration to change the course of my life. And I decided to devote myself to the service of Gods.”
You nearly choke on your drink. In all the years you’ve known Thomas, he’s never been to the Sept once.
“And I wanted to grant you this privilege to be the first ones to know.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. You wait for any other announcements — literally anything else — but Thomas goes back to chattering, also accepting pointless congratulations. It takes you ten painfully long minutes to get a chance to talk to him alone.
“May I have a word?” you inquire, and the two of you move to the far end of the room.
“It is about your speech,” you clarify. “It might sound silly, but I thought that you were planning... Um,” you’re trying to formulate your concerns. “I was wondering, how would you describe our relationship? Or the prospect of it, I should say,” you give him a tight smile.
“Oh,” his face pales slightly.
Your facial expression mirrors his. Oh?
“I am actually glad you asked,” he awkwardly takes your hands in his, and you notice how sweaty his palms are.
“You know, you’ve been a great companion of mine,” his voice is as weak as his smile. “And I am forever grateful for those moments that we shared as they only brought me joy,” his hands feel like jelly, and you don’t want to hold them. Like, ever. “But now that I’m choosing to follow my destiny,” you do your best to suppress a chuckle at his dramatic phrasing. “I decided that... I need some time to figure out how I feel. About us.”
You look at him, dumbfounded, his words sinking in.
“You need... some time?” you drawl, feeling an emotion bubbling up in your chest. You are not sure what it is. “You? Need to think about us?” you repeat, and he nods, his brows furrowed at your reaction.
There is a moment of silence, and then you hear yourself laughing. You can’t control it as you’re overcome with emotion, your laughter only growing stronger, to the point of you tearing up a bit. The emotion is relief. There’s no way you’ll ever marry this man.
“I am the one who should be glad, Thomas,” you shake his hand while he seems wildly perplexed, all of his guests staring at you. “Thank you for your honesty, really. I hope you will be successful in all your endeavors, marriage included.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but you already turned around.
“Where are you going?!”
You stop for a second, your thoughts rushing back to the conversation with Margaret. To that evening in the tavern.
“I have a meeting, it’s of great importance,” you say and quicken your pace. You reach the tavern when it’s already getting dark, the weather is cloudy, and your coat is wet in the light drizzle. You walk in a daze as you’re torn between being excited and anxious. There is a chance that Aemond won’t be there. That he doesn’t remember you. That he’s with someone else. That he had a change of heart. That he...
You spot him almost immediately after you walk in.
Coincidentally or not, he’s sitting at the exact same table you were at the first time you met. You stay still as his eye absentmindedly wanders around the room and then lands on you. Aemond stands up — way too quickly — and you see a well-known grin growing on his face. Your eyes dart to his lips, and the question pops up in your head again.
You feel the pull — and before you can think, your body follows it.
He keeps his gaze on you, his brows rising at the speed of your approach. You cover the distance in a heartbeat, your hands reaching his face, and he slightly flinches, probably because your fingers are cold from being outside. And then you stand on your tiptoes and crash your lips onto his without any hesitation.
He gasps, surprised and frozen for a moment. It takes just a couple of seconds for him to melt into the kiss, and his hands are instantly on your waist, pulling you closer to him. Aemond’s lips are way softer than you anticipated — and it’s the only thing on your mind. His mouth on yours, warm and exploring, the slow pacing of the kiss that leaves you lightheaded and yearning for more.
He presses your body into his, lifting you up with ease, and your feet leave the ground. You tug his hood further down so it covers most of your face, too, and then you slide your thumb up the sharp line of his jaw. His tongue runs over your lower lip, and you feel a wave of heat rising in your stomach.
You pull away before you can take it too far.
“You remember me?” you ask him, panting.
He hums, his eye focused on your lips.
“Still believe that nothing good comes easy?” you mimic his words, but he ignores your jesting.
“Definitely,” Aemond looks you in the eyes, keeping his hands on your waist.
“Is the bet still on?”
“Yes,” the corners of his mouth curl.
“Lead the way, then.” By the time you reach the castle, the rain is pouring in full force, and your clothes are drenched. The two of you rush through the streets, your hands intertwined, and it feels like it only takes about ten minutes before you sneak into his chambers, both out of breath and giggling.
Only when you take a look around the unfamiliar settings, it suddenly dawns on you that you are all alone with a man you barely know, and your bravery starts fading away.
Whether Aemond notices the change in your mood or not, you can’t tell, but he respectfully keeps his distance.
“You need to get out of these,” he points at your coat and dress. “They’re soaking wet.”
“Is this your way of trying to get me naked?” you eye him suspiciously, making Aemond scoff.
“I just don’t want you to catch a cold,” he honestly states. “I’ll fetch you a shirt of mine.” Sensing your doubts, he adds, “Don’t worry, it is long enough.”
He brings you the shirt and politely turns away, going to the other end of the room to light the fireplace. On his way there, he removes the cloak and the jacket, his upper body only covered by the same piece of clothing he gave you. You watch him carefully, noting the movement of his back muscles as he bends down.
The sparkling glow of fire brings you back to reality, and you hastily remove your clothes, leaving the undergarments on, which are luckily dry. You put on his shirt, and it barely reaches your knees, but the material feels nice and comfortable. While Aemond is still busy with the fire, you glance over his room.
It’s spacious and simply furnished, and your attention is drawn to a couple of shelves nearby. You look at the tightly packed rows of books, some of the hardcovers are worn out from old age. You catch the familiar naming and pull one of them out, gently flipping through the pages.
“You take interest in philosophy?” his voice startles you. You missed the moment he came back, and when you take your eyes off the book, you see him leaning on the nearest shelf, looking at you inquisitively.
“I do, indeed,” you confess. “And I read this one so many times, my own copy pretty much fell apart.”
“You can take mine,” Aemond offers.
You notice that despite his cockiness, his presence is actually very calming. Everything is easy with him — striking up conversations, making jokes. Taking his hand in yours, running in the rain. Kissing.
Your heart skips a beat, and you sheepishly move on to another topic:
“Shouldn’t you change as well?” you refer to his shirt, but he shakes his head.
“No need.”
“Oh, was it the Targaryen’s dragon blood that helped you dry up?” you tend to jest when you’re nervous, and right now is no exception.
“My cloak is too thick for the water to soak through. But I like your version, too,” his lips ripple into a smile.
You can help but smile back. “Thank you for the shirt.”
“It looks really good on you,” the words smoothly roll off his tongue and ignite the familiar burning deep in your core. He keeps his gaze on your face, your eyes locking for a moment.
You look away first, letting out a timid laugh.
“I must admit, I like this way of courting better,” you place the book back. “But you can cut it short. What’s your move?”
“My... move?” Aemond gives you a quizzical look.
“Yes, your big move. Show me,” you request eagerly.
“Don’t know what you're talking about,” he looks down, his aplomb faltering.
“What do you usually do to impress a lady?”
“I don’t really need to do anything,” Aemond shrugs.
“What a humble individual you are,” you chuckle and give him a minute to think. “So what is it?”
“I just told you...,” it seems like he’s trying to dodge the topic, which only sparks your curiosity.
“Oh, come on! You princes always have a move. Let me guess, you speak to her in High Valyrian? Men like to talk big,” he snorts. “No? Try to win her over with your...,” you gesture at his bookshelves, “...precious collection? Although it’s risky because what if she’s not into reading, that would be awkward,” and then it hits you. “Wait, it’s the dragon, isn’t it? You show her your dragon? Got to make sure it’s well-fed, though, otherwise you’ll have a date with a roasted —”
“It’s my sword,” he cuts you off, and you swear you can see him blushing at the confession.
“Um, your sword? Is this a metaphor for someth—”
“Gods, no. I mean the actual sword. The one you grip with your hand and poke people with.”
“That description didn’t help,” you tease, and he groans.
“You know what I mean,” Aemond gives you a pointed look, but his face flushed pink, and you can’t take him seriously.
“I do, you just look really charming when you are embarrassed,” you say cheekily, which makes him huff. “My apologies. Please elaborate on the sword. How does it work?”
Aemond hesitates but then realizes that you will never let it go, so he gives in.
“I bring my training into the conversation. And then I... show them,” he talks with his hands when he’s uncomfortable, and you find it endearing.
“And that’s it?”
“Pretty much,” Aemond nods.
“They watch you train, and that’s what does it for the ladies?”
“I don’t know why, I never gave it much thought.”
“Well, someone should. Can’t imagine it ever working on me.”
You feel a sudden shift in the air as Aemond slowly looks up at you. You’re standing a few feet apart, and he’s yet to initiate anything, but once again, it only takes a look from him for you to feel a familiar flare-up of the tantalizing desire.
“I’m not going to take you to the training yard in the pouring rain,” he concludes.
“But it’s not about the place, is it? Must be something about you,” now you’re the one champing at the bit to see what the fuss is all about.
“I don’t have a sword on me.”
“Opt for something smaller, I am sure it will do,” you hint at the dagger that you’ve seen him carry, and wait expectantly for him to agree.
Aemond reluctantly contemplates your suggestion, then sighs and goes to get his dagger which he left next to the cloak.
You wonder if the ladies are attracted to his competitive spirit. If they enjoy the feeling of danger they get at the sight of steel, the cold shine of it, the clang of swords. Or maybe it’s the urge to take sides and root for the winner?
And then you see Aemond rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, — and your breath suddenly hitches.
The room is lit by fire, the warmth of it illuminating his skin, casting shadows that frame every muscle of his arms. He takes the dagger in one hand, the movement fast and honed, and your eyes follow it. You notice the scattering of his veins that go down his wrist and into his palm, the blue lines tightening with every swirl. The silver blade catches and reflects the light, but you are focused solely on his flexing muscles.
He’s maneuvering the dagger with ease, almost carelessly, yet you know that every motion is well-practiced through years of training. His long fingers grip the hilt, revealing the sharp outline of his knuckles. The steel silently cuts through the air, again and again, but your eyes are glued to his hands. The way they move, the power that he holds in them. The things he can do with them, with his fingers. The way they will feel on your bare skin and in your... You swallow, letting out a shuddered breath.
“Are you weak in the knees yet?” his words bring you out of your trance, and you blink a couple of times, trying to shake the feeling off. Your body is so heated, you’re surprised you are not sweating yet.
“Is this the point when the ladies throw themselves at you?” your voice is hoarse, and you take a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself.
Aemond stops his movements. You feel your skin tingling with anticipation, waiting for him to finish what he started, but he doesn’t budge. For a short while, you’re taken aback by the change in his demeanor — and the realization strikes you.
“Wait, how many ladies were here before me?”
“I never said I take them here,” he puts the dagger back in its sheath, averting his gaze.
“But you told me that you do your... thing with the sword for them.”
“In the training yard, with other people around us, yes.”
“So then you just leave them all hot and bothered? Aemond, that is cruel,” his actions confuse you, but while you’re looking for an explanation, he turns back to you and finally meets your gaze.
“It would’ve been cruel to lead them on when I feel nothing for them,” he reveals, and you discern the raw honesty in his words. And you know exactly what he means. It’s the tiresome attempts to find someone who will spark your interest, to spot a connection, all of those efforts leading nowhere and making you feel like you’re the one at fault. But you aren’t — and he isn’t, either.
Aemond looks almost ashamed of letting out something so personal, but you welcome the intimacy of this moment.
“I shall consider myself lucky, then,” you say softly.
He gives you that same look that makes you feel like the world around you disappears.
“You are... something else,” Aemond mumbles.
You guess that he isn’t used to being straightforward about his feelings, nor does he know how to express his affection with words. You really, really want to kiss him again.
The boyish grin reappears on his face.
“Did you mean I left you all hot and bothered?” Aemond narrows his eye.
“I never said that,” you smile coyly. “Maybe you should’ve tried a little harder.”
“I happen to have some tricks up my sleeve,” he takes a step towards you and, before you can ask for details, you feel his fingers on your ribs as he starts tickling you, and you immediately burst into laughter.
His touches are light, fingers grazing against your clothed skin as he subtly moves you further into the room until your legs bump into his bed. Losing your balance, you fall on it, your back met with the fluffiness of thick blankets. Aemond hovers over you, and you can’t stop giggling, trying to wiggle away from his tickles.
Wrapped up in the moment, you make a careless move, your hand brushing up his cheek — and you suddenly see a bright gleam of blue on the right side of his face.
Aemond freezes at the spot, halting his actions, and momentarily flinches away. You are gawking at the sapphire, unable to form a coherent sentence.
He makes a move to fix his eyepatch, but you stop him.
“Don’t,” you catch his hand mid-air, your grip delicate but firm, and he doesn’t fight it. You would’ve been surprised by your own quick reaction if only your mind wasn’t completely occupied with the sight in front of you.
It looks like the gem absorbs all the light in the room, shimmering with various shades of blue. It’s cut in a way to imitate a surface of an eye, the sides of the sapphire polished and blending into each other. There is a depth to it, bright sparkles drowning in a color that’s close to black, and the spillovers are mesmerizing.
You bring your hand closer to his face, to the area that’s been left covered and unloved, and touch the skin with the tip of your finger. He lets you.
“Wow,” you breathe out, gently tracing his scar. “This is the most badass thing I’ve ever seen.”
Aemond looks at you in disbelief, his eye fixed on your face, and his lips parted.
“...What?” he manages to ask.
“You look like a pirate. A really badass... sky pirate?” you suggest, and he lets out a light chuckle, still not entirely sure he believes you.
So you shamelessly continue.
“A pirate with his own dragon. The largest one in the Seven Kingdoms as I’ve heard,” you can almost feel him swelling with pride. “He charms the ladies with his fighting skills — and has a gem for an eye? Incredibly irresistible,” your index finger circles the area around his sapphire.
He listens attentively, holding his breath.
“A prince who is as good with his sword as he is with his wit, fond of reading and isn’t averse to mischief. Any lady of the court would’ve been fortunate to get a hold of such treasure,” you remove the eyepatch and tenderly cradle his face. “Yet I am the one who’s been honored to see all of him,” you glance from the bright gemstone to his eye and back. “Honestly, it’s kind of hard to pick which one I like more...,” you are barely able to notice him sharply lower his head, and your words die down.
Without a warning, Aemond covers your lips with his, the intensity of the kiss pulling the air out of your lungs right away. He’s been holding back the first time, but he isn’t now, and the passion sets you ablaze. His tongue slips into your mouth, easily tangling with yours, and you moan at the contact. Aemond skilfully unbuttons your shirt, and the second his fingers touch your skin, you shiver, the quivering sensation washing over you. His hands slowly slide down your ribcage, tracing the curves of your body, making your back arch, your chest flush against his, your heart pounding. He contours the bend of your hips, then presses his palms there, his touches rough, claiming, burning. You move your fingers up the base of his neck and run them through his hair, and he releases a shaky sigh. Aemond relishes in the feeling of your compliance, the fervor of it, your body being so needy and welcoming, until you are both gasping for air.
“Was that impressive enough?” he rasps, and you look up at him through your lashes, spellbound and breathless. His pupil is dilated, gaze clouded with lust, your noses adjoin.
“Yeah-yes. Yes, very,” you utter, at a loss for words.
“Good. Because I’m about to outdo myself,” he tightens his grip on your thighs, picking you up and moving into the middle of the bed. Your head barely touches the pillow when his lips are on yours again.
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🔥 my masterlist
English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes
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uncanny-tranny · 6 days
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This pissed me off so much when I was younger that now it's flipped on its head to being funny because...
People to me when I was younger having gone, "You can't possibly know you want hormones! Don't you know anything?! You can't just make decisions! You don't know health, you can't diagnose yourself as being dysphoric and needing that!" quickly turned into my medical teams frequently saying, "oh I didn't know that," and even confiding in me that I was their first trans patient they ever saw, much less learned about. How the fuck are you expecting a medical professional to diagnose an issue they haven't even heard of. Trans people really are expected to have a PhD in Being Trans just for the chance to be listened to (without the pay that comes with that education!).
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cerulean-crow · 6 months
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Twicord my beloved <3 Using my redesigns this time!
Fun fact! This was basically my first real ship, basically ever! I was never too into shipping growing up and I was very confused about just how much discourse surrounded it and how absolutely feral some people got over their ships.
But Mlp was what would open me up to stuff like multishipping and crack shipping and how to enjoy a good rare pair- so at one point I just decided I was going to ship something I didn’t see anyone else really shipping. Thus! Twicord!!
At a certain point it stopped being a “joke” and this pairing has since owned my heart for the last decade <3
Sketch and flats under the cut because why not- I tried rendering this a bit differently and I like how it came out
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polarsirens · 2 years
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someone said in the tags for this that gerard, ylfa and pinocchio are basically peter b parker, gwen and miles from spiderverse and this was all i could think about
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 2 months
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it’s been over five months and every time i put my necklaces on i still think about that time miles kane specifically came over to me and told me how much he liked them 🙈
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pearl-the-artist · 2 months
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(You called for me) Gabriel / Reader Oneshot
Ok please be patient with me on this. I spent over 24 hours in a car on a trip to Russia a few days ago and it made me do something I've never dared to before: write a fanfic. On my humble Samsung notes.
If this isn't a total flop I might make more? I dunno? Maybe hop on ao3?
Criticism and feedback is appreciated ok thank youuu have fun
Another restless night, another hour spent lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling above you. The room was shrouded in the comforting night air, more illuminated than usual by the soft glow of the full moon outside.
You look at the clock on your nightstand; precisely midnight. Two hours after your drunken father came home again, letting his pent-up frustrations and anger out on you in a one sided yelling match. Of course, as usual, neither was your mother of any support; only giving you that same disapproving, disdainful glare. You were never really welcome, not even in your own home- your parents biggest mistake lingering around only to weigh them down, and remind them of what they could've had. Or so they've told you, many, many times before. Tonight was no exception.
When the broadcasts first announced the new threat infesting the county, "alternates" they called them, you were, admittedly, both terrified and somewhat relieved. You were never really one to believe in the supernatural, but who knows, your parents were just superstitious enough to maybe fall for their schemes.
The first announcement had been around, what, a year ago now? Not much had really changed admittedly, although the population had begun falling drastically since then.
Your parents had of course used this opportunity to also confiscate your phone, the CRT TV in your room and old little MP3 player gifted to you by a relative, god forbid you let an alternate in to potentially threaten them, your own safety not even really a point for consideration to them.
Living with your parents was already hell, but getting by without your favourite albums and shows? Torture.
So tonight when you lied in bed unable to fall asleep, your mind wandering as usual, it may have wandered a little too far.
You recalled something you overheard your parents talk about. A friend of your dad's, a man of unwavering faith, who had been found dead in his own home a few weeks ago, seemingly in the middle of his usual prayers. Even though his family mentioned having seen an odd, ghostly figure outside their home that night, the doctors seemed to blame the cause of death on a brain hemorrhage.
It made sense, come to think of it. When you first saw the emergency PSA, it explained all kinds of methods to protect yourself from alternate attacks, one of which being avoidance of religion, faith, and philosophy.
So then, the alleged "ghost" that visted that poor man just might've been... Well.
This gave you a bad idea, but you weighed the options available to you.
Either you would die in a similar way as the old man, or... you might just get lucky and bargain with it. Alternatively, nothing happens, and you remain stuck with an unhappy married couple that hates each other as much as they hate you.
It was definitely stupid, but at this point it seemed like you had nothing to lose anyway. You weren't really much of a believer yourself, so you didn't exactly know how to pray, but you gave it your best shot. Sitting up in your bed, hands clasped together with a bowed head and closed eyes, you tried your best to focus.
If there was a god out there, may it hear your pleas. Wordless whispers called for help, begging to be heard, while you did all you could to try to concentrate on any spiritual connections. All the while you knew you may as well be praying to a literal demon.
A few minutes passed as you racked your brain for what to say before you stopped, your hands falling back into your lap.
What the hell were you doing? Yes you hated it here, and you couldn't even run away if you wanted to, but inviting an alternate to your house just like this? It was a death sentence, and not a pretty one, that much was certain.
You shook your head. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Right, this was all just some silly superstition, not that different from those "send this to 5 other people or you'll die tonight" chain e-mails. You laughed internally at how silly it was that you even thought this would work to begin with, and, admittedly, felt a brief sense of relief. You decided that you were ready to just go back to sleep, and just as you pulled your blanket up to crawl back underneath it- you almost jumped.
It was a voice, faintly audible outside your window. You didn't even process it until a few seconds after, a barely legible, strained whisper.
"I heard you praying."
You froze. A cold wave shot right to your stomach. Slowly, agonisingly so, you turned around to face your bedroom window.
A tall figure stood outside, its hands clasped together similarly to how you just had a few minutes ago. With long, flowing white robes and silver, wavy locks that reached down to his shoulders, he looked... Ethereal. Not to mention the massive, pure white wings folded neatly behind his back. His head blocked out the full moon, the light creating something almost like a halo around him, making him appear even more angelic.
"Woah."
You couldn't help the little gasp of awe. He seemed to find it amusing, his grin spreading a little too wide for comfort. Admittedly, you almost doubted if he even was an alternate at all. Maybe you'd come out a person of faith yourself, after this.
"Are you... An alternate?"
You whispered hesitantly, quiet enough to try to conceal the trembling in your voice and also not alert your parents sleeping upstairs, though you weren't sure if he actually heard you at all.
He didn't respond for a moment, tempting you to ask again, before that inhuman whisper was heard again.
"You called for me, and now I am here."
Avoiding your question, huh. Suppose he was an elusive sort. You quickly glanced around your room, eyeing the door in particular just in case; you really hoped your parents were asleep.
"May I... Come closer?"
You couldn't even recall the last time you were this polite to someone, though it was your best bet not to piss him off while he was still friendly, if you could even call it that. You had no point of reference, though he wasn't actively trying to harm you, so it was a start.
The angel, his smile unwavering, simply nodded, waving his arm in an invitation to approach.
It took a moment for you to will your body to move from the initial shock, but with slow, careful steps you moved to open the window to properly speak to him, a pleasant cool breeze inviting itself into your room.
"So... What's your name?"
Did alternates have names? Suppose they just took on the name of whoever they were trying to mimic. You leaned onto the window frame, trying to catch a good look at his face; and for the first time in god knows how long you were met with eyes that, albeit a bit creepy and lifeless, looked back into your own with an unfamiliar lack of hostility.
"You may call me Gabriel, child."
Gabriel? That name sounded familiar- Oh! The Saint Gabriel's church at the edge of town. Suppose that made sense, given his angelic appearance, if it wasn't just one morbid coincidence. Your thoughts and scrutinizing stare dragged on for a bit longer than you were aware of, though, as his voice pulled your attention back to him.
"Are you lost, my lamb? I can save you. Let me in. Let me into your mind."
The last bit seemed a bit more... Pushy than the rest, making your stomach feel just a little heavier. You gathered your thoughts anyway, trying to push that feeling aside for now. You did do this for a reason, after all, though now that he was actually here you were starting to second guess things.
Gabriel seemed to take note of your hesitation after a while of you not responding.
"Open your eyes, my lost little one. Look at me. I can grant you anything you wish for. You just need to let me in."
An odd mix of dread and comfort you'd never felt before settled in, and the feeling was almost... Refreshing, in a way. You quickly glanced back up at him, and he was still staring at you, ever so patiently, eerily.
"Uhm... I was just- well, it's probably kind of silly."
No backing out now, not when he was already here. Even if you wanted to, you don't think he'd let you go so easily. As you verbally stumbled over your own thoughts, he simply waited, his unblinking eyes staring into you, gouging out your soul. Or so it felt.
"I just thought... Is it possible for, well... Is there a chance for humans to be able to ally with alternates? Can I join you?"
Surprisingly, that got his smile to falter, if only a little bit. A flicker of emotion you couldn't quite explain showed in his eyes- surprise, perhaps, or consideration.
"What for, my child?"
That uncanny whisper of his never gave away any emotion, monotone and unfeeling, yet not unfriendly. Admittedly, his question made you pause; you hadn't exactly thought of how to explain this to him. You hadn't even expected him to show up at all.
Fidgeting nervously, unsure of whether to tell him the truth or not, you tried to think of what to say. Despite your rationality screaming at you for being an utter moron, you knew you were in too deep at this point.
"I don't think I'm any good to these people at all anymore, I just... don't know what to do anymore. With myself. I have nowhere else to go. And, maybe..."
You weren't sure if you should say it or not, you already let more vulnerability slip than you wanted to. But your spite driven words were quicker than your brain, and man did it feel good to open up for once.
"...maybe for revenge, also."
Gabriel listened to you surprisingly attentively, very interested in your words. At your last statement, he perked up with an almost malicious twist to his grin. Before he could respond, though, you suddenly heard the sound of your parents creaky old bedroom door and footsteps from upstairs. And you could tell by the sound of them that it was your mother. And she was pissed.
For a very panic filled moment you weren't sure what to do, your thoughts racing- instincts called for you to jump into bed and pretend you were asleep like you usually would... but with Gabriel here, you couldn't- and that's when you realized you really only had two real options.
Stay here, and continue living this miserable life, and also deal with the imminent outburst of your mother.
Or go with him, and then... Well, nothing and no one could possibly guarantee what would happen to you then.
"Choose wisely, my dear lamb."
Your dilemma seemed to be rather palpable to the "saviour" as he pulled you out of that mental spiral, and you were rather grateful for it. As much as it made you nauseous with uncertainty and anxiety, you finally snapped out of that paralysis and turned towards the window.
"Please, help me. This is the only favor I'll ever ask of you. I will do anything you want in return, I promise."
You began to plead in an urgent, hissed whisper, practically leaning out of the window, causing him to take a step back.
Desperation and panic shook your words as you glanced back at your bedroom door.
"Get me out of here."
He chuckled, an amused sound mixed with something you couldn't quite explain that made you feel more fuzzy than you'd care to admit.
"Come. Come to me, my child. Step outside."
For the first time tonight hesitation became a foreign concept as you practically leapt out that window. Your bare feet felt the cold gravel beneath, just in time as the door to your room swung open.
The angered yelling of your mother were drowned out by the feeling of suddenly being lifted off the ground, Gabriel taking you up into his arms like your weight was akin to a feather.
He was cold, lifelessly so. And yet the soft silken robes, the way he held you in his arms, and his deceitfully promising whispers were lulling you into a sense of security you hadn't felt in a long, long time.
"A lost little lamb, asking their shepherd for guidance..."
His eerie, yet strangely comforting laugh filled your ears once more over the noise of your mother not yet realizing you weren't in your bed. You're surprised she wasn't hearing him at all. Maybe it was another mind game of his.
"You made the right decision. I knew you would. Such a smart, yet scared little thing you are, are you not?"
You leaned your head against his chest, sighing deeply, beginning to forget what you were ever doubtful about during the start of this whole fiasco. Your weight began to sink into his arms as you relaxed. He held you a little tighter in turn.
"Of course I shall guide you, my child. Come with me; you will be mine. You will be safe."
Just as the furious woman realized to check the opened window, Gabriel vanished as swiftly as he appeared, leaving behind the sight of nothing but an empty garden, peacefully quiet, as if you were never there.
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palettepainter · 9 months
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I have a suspicion that the Undertale community likes the way I draw skeleton sirens
You know what this means..........Siren Red will be coming soon~
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stellaeerrantes · 3 months
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Do you know what would fix me? Beach date with William.
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66sharkteeth · 4 months
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i swear people wait until im already feeling like shit about my work to comment they think my comic sucks lol
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musubiki · 6 months
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I forgot if you talked abt this, but does the whole "being on the same level as mochi" thing ever come up in honest conversation between them? Seems like an entire...thing that really influences lime's choices when it comes to the main conflict. I would think either some time after mochi's over her initial jealousy, or heck wayyy after they stop the witch king
oooo youre right i dont think ive talked much about it or at all.,... but YEAH a very key part of limes character is his need to be on the same level as her...partly a pride thing, partly a "i dont feel like i have the right to stand beside her unless i can compete with her" thing
(sorry for the long post rambles, apparently i have a lot more thoughts on this than i thought it did)
but actually this comes up WAY sooner, its WAY too big of an elephant in the room post-timeskip to go un-talked about. pre-timeskip lime could kind of quietly work away at trying to be better, but post-timeskip the m-34th thing is too obvious of a flag for mochi to think everything is okay with him
i think the issues really starts to be hashed out when mochi, at some point (relatively quickly after they reunite), brings up the notion of him quitting the m-34th. to an extent she understood why he joined, he gave her a bunch of reasons why he joined the regiment in the first place (jumping around a bunch of excuses like "They have good benefits" / "I was bored" / etc before finally telling her the truth that "I wanted to find you"), but what she didnt understand is why he stays in
she gave it a bit of time, they went through the whole "well you left me" vs "you joined the organization that exists to kill us" -> "call it even, water under the bridge" thing, and she thought that after a few weeks (months?) he would quit and just be part of her guild again, but he doesnt.
and when she asks him about it, he dodges the question, gives shit answers, dismisses it, a bunch of different things with the underlying message being "I'm not leaving you, but I'm not gonna quit working for them."
and she doesnt want to give him the "choose me or them" ultimatum either (even though pom seems all for it), because 1.) it feels like a shitty thing to do to him, if hes fighting this hard to stay in she doesnt want him to be unhappy, and 2.) shes afraid he might actually choose them
she starts to think a lot of things, that maybe he harbors some bitterness towards her, maybe he doesnt want to put all his eggs in one basket, maybe hes secretly feeding them information on her behind her back, ALL kinds of things.
eventually (and upsettingly) she gets the truth from clarinette. it takes fucking clarinette babbling her mouth away for mochi to get something that she hasnt gotten from lime himself. clarinette (in her delulu) wants to brag a little in the vein of "Haha he confided in me and not in you haha," and mentioned that when she asked him why he stays, he told her "The m-34th makes me stronger" or something along those lines.
and mochis first thought is "I can make him stronger too, he doesnt need to go to them."
and when she CONFRONTS him and tells him this, he gives her a flat "No, you can't." and it FEELS very cold when he says it. she can see the bitterness (bitterness???) behind his eyes when he says it. and its not a bitterness TOWARDS HER, its more of a "I spent 2 years before you left trying everything I could to make myself worthy of you this, and it did nothing. I would take 1 step forward and you would take 5. I'm not going back to that."
so this confrontation became one of those make it or break it conversations for lime, because his only two options were 1) tell mochi the actually pretty embarrassing and pathetic truth, or 2) risk losing her because shes already doubting him enough as it is
i think he probably tries route 2 first though. and whatever it is he tells her, he can see something in her eyes (mistrust? failing faith? fear?) which tells him "Oh no, oh shit, oh god, backtrack you idiot, BACKTRACK!!!" because if he lets this narrative go on for even a few minutes more, hes not going to be able to come back from it.
so he eventually actually does tell her the truth!! and he hates doing it. he really does feel pathetic. its so petty and stupid, he thinks. he shouldnt be trying to compete with the cat witch, hes supposed to be supportive. but he fucking hates being ONLY supportive. he wants to add something, contribute something meaningful, not just be a little accessory/sidekick to mochi.
and (as already mentioned) he cant do that without the m-34th. pre-timeskip he felt useless. and relative to mochi, he was. she wont say it, but she didnt need him. she would reassure him and tell him "You're amazing Lime!" but deep down she knew that after Amanita was dealt with and she was the full-fledged cat witch, she could do all of it on her own (and proves it when she leaves and takes none of them with her). she liked having him there (obviously), but anything he could do she could do better.
he felt like he just took up space, and when she left without telling him or taking him with her, it essentially proved his point. it was not even just a "I dont need you" thing anymore, it was now a "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" and that fucking HURT.
the m-34th though....those guys really honed the shit out of his strengths. on an insane level. they gave him so many skills and tools as a black canvas to do SO MANY THINGS and SO WELL, and maybe this does bring up some resentment to the guild and magic?? that he had so much untapped potential that mochi could just not bring out in an effective way, it essentially bottlenecked him (not her fault, its hard to build the talents of an anti-magic person by using magic).
but these guys...as "bad" as they are (so the witches say), they gave him (and still give him) the power to change that which he hated about himself the most. so that "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" thing can finally FINALLY be met with "Yeah you do, and yeah I fucking can."
so all these feelings manifest as "I won't leave the m-34th because they make me strong enough to stand by your side and not at your feet." AND THEY DO!!!!!! and he probably doesnt say those words directly but everything he DOES say communicates it enough for mochi to see it
(and he probably tells her all of this. she just listens)
so mochi, eventually, understands this. it took the whole pre-timeskip period and some of the post-timeskip period to get there, but she understands him a little more now (and a side of him she didnt know was there). i dont think theres anything she can do to change this aspect of him, but she at least understands his reasons and respects his freedom to pursue that which gives him peace, even if it conflicts with her uh.....occupation (nature?) as a witch. she also can tell him, without any lies or nice little reassurances that "You really are amazing, Lime." in a way she could never be, and he got there on his own, without her. i think shes happy just to know the truth, and know that hes not like betraying her or something. also she probably finds it kinda sweet that he works so hard to stand by her, but tries not to let it go to her head (or her heart) because at least half of it is a lime pride thing and not a mochi love thing
he also throws in a very lime-esq ending on it like "There I said it happy now??? Never make me talk about this again." while completely red-faced. he really does hate this side of himself but he cant help it.
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pepperpixel · 7 months
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A pic of my human whirl design and holomatter avatar whirl hanging out together! Cuz I thought that’d be cute! And I was right… it is!
#transformers#mtmte#whirl#tf whirl#humanformers#mtmte whirl#doodles#Srry it’s been so long since uploading anything. I got a job! last month#and! it’s been going good… but also I do not have as much free time…#also… I’m.. it’s at a daycare… and I got a 102 degree fever last LAST Tuesday#2 Tuesdays ago. and I’m still fucking coughing. every time I start feeling better I go back to work and the sickness like resets itself.#also one of the kids gave me pinkeye!!!#im… thinking about looking for a diff job lol#im rlly proud of how well I’ve been handling this one. and its def boosted my confidence!#but.. like… i live with old ppl. who have there own serious issues. also I have my own issues!#espec w the eye thing like i had to go to an eye doctor ever month for like 2 years cuz my eyes were screwed up#and finally last year i got the ok that my eyes were doing good! and they weren’t screwed up anymore. and then i get fucking pink eye!#that freaks me out!!!! and Ive been sick for 2 weeks straight! that sucks!!!#like.. ive just realized… this level of exposure to illness and bacteria.. is not worth it lol#ive still got to do like 2 weeks notice tho so hopefully im not fucking sick for 2 more weeks#I feel like that’s a possibility ghgh#anyway yeah I got a job that’s why arts been scarce. gonna get a new job after this one so art will probably still be scarce lol#it’s ok that just means it’ll be more of a treat when I do post! like u guys’ll cherish it more right? lol#absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that#maccadam
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i know you would never believe me if i told you that the pose was modelled off the same reference (doryphoros by polykleitos 440ish bc) but it is (hell if i remember what anyone else's pose was supposed to be)
left is from 2011 and right is 2024.
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