#how to say without spoiling much. she is so developed in my brain

[mxwhore]

For some low-effort doodles, I'm dead curious about how the kids interact with their parents as they age. Just mundane stuff they do together. Does amayas or amara have a "favorite" dad? And like, if you wanna get wild with it, do either of them act Too Much Like Their Dad sometimes?

dropping some cute doodles before going into The Lore

[sickeninglyshoujo]

a/n: continually obsessed w/ cod dads, here's price

part 1: simon here

part 3: soap here

part 4: gaz here

masterlist here

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 1.7k

buy me a ko-fi

Price was afraid to have babies with you because of the age difference and you rolled your eyes every time he talked about being an old man and how a pretty young thing like you shouldn’t be dating him much less trying to get knocked up by someone his age. As if he’d let you even entertain the thought of leaving him for a young buck who couldn’t spoil you like you deserved.

Throughout your pregnancy he treated you like fine China, afraid he’d say the wrong thing and make you cry. He’s heard about women’s hormones during pregnancy even as you remained rock solid, rolling your eyes when he’d ‘yes dear’ you.

You tried to kick him out of the bathroom when morning sickness hit and he refused. Instead sitting on the tub next to you, petting your back as you leaned into the toilet and tried to soothe you, telling you how strong you were and how beautiful you were carrying his baby even with sick bubbling up your throat at the slightest movement “I thought morning sickness was only supposed to be in the morning,” you moaned with your forehead pressed against the cool floor tile. “It’’s a misnomer, love,” John said, removing himself from his perch on the tub to wet a cool washcloth and wipe down your face.

He wishes this phase was over, hates seeing you in pain like this.

That changes once the baby’s born then he’s ready to do it all over again. He didn’t know how attached he’s gotten to helping you do the things you couldn’t because of your belly  like putting on your shoes (looking up at your belly reverently the entire time before planting a kiss on it) for you and helping you pick things off the floor that your clumsy fingers dropped. He grew a particular affection for helping you rub shea butter and vitamin E oil over your rapidly appearing stretch marks.

Price insists on building the nursery furniture without reading the directions, “Know what I’m doin’ woman,” and to your chagrin he was right. Managed everything without a set of directions perched on his knee and instead chucked them to the side with the box.

The first thing he built was the fancy rocking chair he bought for you, insisting you don’t help him with anything “At least let me hold the screws John, I feel stupid just sitting here!”

To him, peace is this. This is what so many long nights holed up in some shithole on a mission have led to. Him sitting on the floor at your feet, building a life together while oldies play on the record player in the next room. He’s so overwhelmed in the moment he can’t help but pull your hand to his lips and kiss it and laughs at you when you ask him what’s wrong

“It’s all right, is the thing, love.”

When you get the first ultrasound, he stops at the store on the way home and purchased a picture frame (insisting you stay in the car and not overexert yourself, he’ll just be a moment, love). The next day he’s on base it now proudly sits facing him next to the photo of him and you vacationing in London with your faces squeezed together in the frame, selfie-style.

Tells anyone who enters his office about you and how far along you are, whether they ask or not, comparing the baby to different sized fruits, which parts were developing that week.

“She’s the size of a lime now, tiny little thing.”

“Can you imagine that she’s growing fingernails in my bird’s belly!”

Absolutely rubbed your swollen ankles in the evenings when he got home from work, peppering gentle kisses on them when he switched feet

Loved your pregnancy brain fog and would kiss your nose any time he got to remind you about something. He became the keeper of your calendar, scheduling your appointments and taking you to them.

When you go into labor, he’s on base in a meeting with some high-brass in a meeting on a highly classified matter. He’s not even allowed to bring his phone into the room. Instead having to turn it off and lock it in a safe prior to entering even with a baby on the way. He was aware this might happen and had instructed you on the line of succession.

“If you can’t get ahold of me, leave me a message lovie, then go down the line. Simon’s second-in–command-”

“Then Kyle, then Johnny, I know, John, you’ve drilled it into my head,” You soothe him, petting the creases he’s worn between his eyebrows, “It’ll be just fine, women have been doing it for thousands of years.”

“I’ll be there, I promise lovie,” He kisses your palm

You leave the message on John’s voicemail, a curt, “It’s time John, once I hang-up I’m dialing Simon, just like we practiced.”

Simon answers on the third ring, “Missus?” His rumbly voice cuts across the line.

“It’s time Simon and John’s still in the meeting since his phone is turned off.”

“Copy.”

The line goes dead leaving you blinking at the Call Ended screen.

You decide that Simon is aware of the drastic nature of the matter and instead busy yourself, you lug the baby bag and your purse to the floor next to the door and go through the checklist John had created in the front pocket: Stove off, windows shut and locked, televisions off…It wasn’t until Simon was letting himself into your front door that the list was likely a distraction from your husband to stop you from leaving on your own until Simon arrived.

Simon collects you with the cool confidence of a Lieutenant in the special forces.

No, don’t worry about the bags or the door, he’s got it, just get yourself into the car.

You try John’s number over and over on the way to the hospital, narrating Simon’s driving, “John, I’m going to have words with you when this is over, I cannot believe you let your pregnant wife in a car with what has to be the worst driver in all of Manchester!”

Before you know it, you’re being rushed into the hospital with Ghost snapping at the nurse at the desk for a wheelchair, NOW! He barks out orders in true military fashion leaving your head buried in your hands as you’re being escorted to the maternity ward.

“Now don’t worry, Sir, your wife is in excellent hands,” one of the nurses addresses Simon, all muscle pushing you in the wheelchair, unblinking and matching their pace.

“He’s not-” You try and interject.

“She better be,” Simon cuts you off, “And the labor will be handled with the utmost care or someone will have to answer to me personally.”

The contractions have started coming back to back and you’re pacing the hospital room, sucking on ice chips fed to you by a patient Simon.

Kyle and Johnny have also arrived and join him in his vigil, somehow maneuvering their way through the “Father and family only” policy the hospital has.

“She was adopted,” You later find out Kyle deadpanned at the security trying to stop him from entering the room, “Can’t you see the family resemblance?”

True to his word, John is there.

He’s rushed into the room, frazzled and running his hand over his beard, eyes darting until he finds you, “Hey sweet girl, I’m here, I’m here,” pointedly ignoring the nurse trying to count out the men in the room

(“Who are these men to you again miss?”)

(“I’m the father,” Gaz informs, flipping through a magazine to pass the time between bursts of activity with contractions.)

You moan out John’s name slapping at his chest weekly when he gathers you up into his arms and hugs you, “I’m mad at you John!”

“Don’t be mad, love, I made it just like I promised,” He tries to soothe you, smoothing his hands over your disheveled hair. “Not about being late, about getting me pregnant!” “It’s a bit late for that now, love,” He does his best to hide the smile twitching into place under his mustache. 

The boys remain in the room for the entire labor, John holding one hand and the other men trading off when your grip became too strong (“Dinnae know the lass could break my bones with just one hand,” Johnny moans shaking out his aching appendage.)

When the baby finally arrives, the doctor again looks around at the men in the room, “Would…Dad like to hold her?”

John finally extracts himself from your bruising grip to hold your daughter, eyes twinkling with joy at seeing the bundle covered in blood and viscera. Such a difference from every other time he’d been covered in the blood, these are stains he’ll gladly wear.

#1 baby wearer captain price

“I hardly get to hug you anymore because she’s always strapped to you!”

Price’s eyebrows go up at that, “Are you jealous, love?

 “Not jealous, but I miss my husband's arms around me!” When you say that with a slight pout in your voice, Price is quick to arrange Uncle Soap and Gaz so he can wine and dine you like old times. 

You make sure to wag your finger enough at the boys and remind them they’re there to babysit, not throw a rager and rile up the baby, even though you know your warnings are falling onto deaf ears. You wholeheartedly expect to return home to a cranky and overtired baby and two military men.

“Can’t neglect either of my girls” he’d mutter into your hair after pulling you close after dinner, holding you to his chest tightly in the middle of the sidewalk 

“You never do, John, you’re the best man I could’ve hoped for,” You muttered into his chest, “Never did I think I’d get someone so in love with me and our child.”

Will regularly fall asleep with the baby curled on his chest, boonie hat pulled down over his eyes, with your daughter also lulled to sleep by his steady breaths. You can’t help but take a photo every time it happens, so smitten with how your husband enjoys his quiet days on leave.

You can’t help but send the photo to the boys, having the group chat with them immediately blown up with emojis sent by Soap, laughing at the Captain’s prone form.

As a joke the photo ends up framed on Price’s desk, next to the ultrasound. Price actually enjoys having it to remind him of the peace he has waiting at home and the joke is ruined when the photo remains in it’s place of honor.

[love-toxin]

I know, I know, I knoooowwww its been months since you wrote for yandere/babytrapper Charles Xavier but I can't get him off my mind. Pleaseeeeeee, Miss Ellie, tell me what he would be like after he's successfully babytrapped you/how he would act as a father

meoooww I've been looking for a reason to write about charles again hehe <33

I can imagine he'd be tough to shake off, even after you're free of the pregnancy. Charles is smart enough to know you need to be taken care of in a multitude of ways to ensure the baby's health, but he's almost too smart because he regulates everything from the food you eat to the times you go to sleep. He's neurotic; he doesn't want his efforts to go to waste, he doesn't want you to get hurt, and he especially doesn't want his little one succumbing to anything terrible before he has a chance to meet them.

As a result of his powers, which he may allow to flourish more often once you're pregnant, he also dives into research about when babies develop their brains and when conscious thought may come into play, because he wants to see if he can hear his child's voice before they even come out of the womb. Those thoughts of fear or even anger towards him for pressuring you into it don't go unnoticed, however--he has to address those, but his way of doing it isn't exactly...healthy. He mostly spends the pregnancy slowly gaslighting you into believing you wanted it all along. Charles will plant seeds of doubt in your head wherever he can, even to the point of claiming that he couldn't stop hearing you think about having babies with him, and that he took that drastic step because he just thought you were too shy to say it out loud. That you couldn't bear to ask him because you just didn't know how much he wanted it as well. If he has to create thoughts that you think are yours to help convince you, he'll even go that far.

Whether you fall for it or not, the baby's coming either way. When she arrives, a head full of your hair and Charles' baby blues staring up at you, it's hard not to fall in love with your sweet little daughter. Charlie is absolutely mesmerized when he holds her for the first time, his trembling almost too much for him to keep her steady in his arms at first. It's obvious with one look that she's going to be daddy's little princess, and that he's going to spoil her like no little girl has ever been spoiled before.

If he hasn't wrestled you into a marriage by then, the baby is a great way for him to squeeze himself into your life for good. "Our girl needs both her parents, we have to try for her" he feeds you whatever he can think of to get you to say yes, and when you do, the only thing he relents on is whether to have a big wedding or a small one. If it were wholly up to him, he'd throw a massive party and invite everyone he knows to bear witness to your union, but if you want something small or to just sign the papers he'll take what he can get. At the very least, he'll get a nice cake.

But afterwards? When you fall into the routine of parenthood and navigate the turmoil of caring for a newborn baby? Charlie may get less pushy, but he's just as sickeningly intimate as he's always been. He feeds your daughter and changes her without complaint, and takes care of any chores or parts of the routine that you need done without being asked. It's tough not to feel something for him if you haven't before when he looks after the two of you so lovingly, and acts every part of the doting father and caring husband flawlessly. No amount of sleepless nights, colic, or failed soothing could dissuade him from still treating you as gently as a butterfly. No amount of frustration or sleep deprivation could make him take out his anger on you, not when you're the mother of his beautiful child.

That's not taking into account his jealousy, however, because that still runs rampant. Hank is close enough that he trusts him, but seeing Logan or Erik or anyone else around will slowly turn him mad. No, they can't pick up the baby, and no, you don't need any help or offers to babysit--that's what you have a husband for. There's always a threat looming of Charles trying to impregnate you again after a run-in with any male colleagues or friends, he just gets so possessive and moody and it's disgusting how good he is when he's in that state. Add to the fact that you probably have some reservations around intimacy now that your body has gone through so many changes, and it'll be a shock if after those six weeks passes he hasn't accidentally knocked you up again within the year. In fact, he might just try to; after all, keeping you busy with a couple of kids isn't a bad strategy to keep the men away from you, and he's got plenty of rooms to fill in the mansion for every member of his growing family. He's shown you he can be a good father to your child--give him the chance, and he'll prove he can be the perfect family man with the right motivation.

[lakesbian]

i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

[deadpool15]

Ch.2 To be loved

Seeing him was the highlight of my day. I remembered when I was nothing but an orphan, though I can't remember my biological parents. I sometimes like to think they died. It was the best way for me when I was just a kid. To accept the fact that even the ones who gave you life viewed as nothing but a mistake was difficult. My mother viewed her destiny as saving her country, getting rid of the drugs that were taking lives. In my opinion, people died all the time. Life was hard. We have no idea what someone is going through until they are pushed to the end. She would never understand that struggle. That pain. When I heard it was si-o behind all this, I had to know why. People have reasons, I had to be the one to see the good in him. Even if no one else could. I was falling in love, love makes you do dumb things.

Whether I was dumb or hopeless, I wanted to know him. Not the version he showed to the public, the fake smiles meant nothing to me. I wanted to see him truly smile, to be happy. I happened to be at one of my mothers many chain restaurants. And to my luck sitting there was the man I had hoped for, now I hadn't prepared myself to speak to him and I realized that when he had made eye contact with me. Stern, serious glare like he knew I was watching him. Talking to people wasn't necessarily the issue. I talked my way out of parking tickets, jail, and even school punishments as a child. I was a smooth talker, one thing I developed from my mom. Though he made me nervous, my hands were sweating, and I had the urge to convert into oxygen. I wanted to cry because as much as I hated to admit it, his opinion of me meant a lot. One accidental interaction, and I was hooked. He knew me as Tseg tseg rich spoiled friend. I wanted him to see me. It already pissed me off that he had eyes for my sister. She took everything from me without even fucking trying. I had to man up and fight for what I wanted.

"Hello sir, you probably don't know me, but my name is Danny. We kinda met before when I bumped into you at your company." He smiled though I could tell it was fake, after years of faking happiness myself. I knew a fake smile from a mile away. "Right, your Tseg's little friend, correct?" Irritation couldn't even be used as the word for what I felt in that moment, I wanted him to see me. "Technically, that's how we met, though I just wanted to say something t-to you. Please." I stood up drawing attention to myself truly not what I needed right now, but I had to tell him before anything else happened. My anxiety was through the roof, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die right then and there standing under his intimidating stare. I had to do this, though. He was the first person I felt genuine feelings for, and I didn't even know him personally. The effect he had on me was outrageous.

"I wanted to go out with you. I want to get to know you, and I know I'm not korean, and your parents may have an issue with that, but I mean Nationality vise I am. Everyone thinks I'm just this spoiled rich assshole, but i im not, and i want to show you that there is more to me than my money or parents' money. I have korean parents, so that counts, I'm well accounted for, and I have seen you before, and you're all I think about no matter what. I try to get my mind off of you, and my brain proceeds to show different connections to you. And if you p-plan to reject me, just sit here and silence, and I won't ever bother you again. Well, I hope so, I can try." He was astonished but my speech. Everyone had turned their attention towards us and started clapping. I hadn't even noticed at first. I couldn't handle rejection, especially not by him. I wanted to be with him, breathe in his scent, and help him with anything. Live a life with him. Silence was what I got, and I took the message. I had embarrassed him and myself.

Suddenly, walking out, trying to hold back tears, I was 5 years old me again. I'm sitting at my dance recital waiting for my mommy. She promised she would come today since I told her how much this meant to me. Sitting there for the next 4 hours in nothing but silence was the worst feeling a child could feel. The competition was over, I didn't even dance, missing a chance to get picked for a major academy. I saw dad pull up. Why did she hate me so much. "Honey, you didn't tell me you had a competition today, and I found the scouts there as well. I would've shown up, baby." I stared at him. I was a daddy's girl simply because my mother broke my heart before I could ever feel love from her. "I didn't tell you because I told Mommy. I wanted her to come watch me this time. To surprise her with my skills." Just glancing at him, I knew that look, the look of a father who was afraid to break their already broken child. I snapped out of it when I felt someone shaking my shoulders. Looking up, it was him. "I've been calling you for 20 minutes. You almost got hit by that truck. Are you even paying attention?" I stared at him, I didn't know what to say, would he care enough to hear. "You ran out before I could say anything. Scared? You're very pretty. And bold. I've never had someone confess their love for me in a public area at that. I admire that, while I don't really know you, I would like to get to know you. Experience something."

I was so happy at that moment that I completely ignored the world around me. I jumped onto him. He was startled at first but caught me with ease. I leaned back and cupped his face, pecking his cheek, and for that first time, I saw a genuine smile. A real surprise for me, I enjoyed it. "You look beautiful when you smile, like a hidden jem only made for the luckiest humans to gaze at." He stared at me, blushing. From that moment, we slowly got to know each other, getting closer day and night. Developing an unbreakable bond. I didn't care he was a so-called criminal. When I was with him, none of that mattered. I never asked about his business, letting him know if he wanted to tell me he could. I kept this from my family, I knew they would never approve of what we had, especially my mother. She didn't give a shit about me, but in a situation like this, she saw him as an enemy.

We sat at a Korean BBQ shop. It was simply nice to spend time at a place with no worries. "I could've taken you someone nicer, you know." I placed some meat on the grill what grabbing a piece and putting it in front of his mouth. He smiled and opened his mouth to eat it. "Is it good? And you know I don't care about expensive restaurants. I've been to enough in my lifetime. I just want to be with you. To be honest, you could've gotten fried chicken and took to me the beach to eat. It's the thought that counts, babe." He smiled at me, I smiled back until I realized the petname I gave him immediately going to apologize. "It's fine, I actually like it. Babe." Blushing, I gave him more meat. We talked about our days, he was stressed and I wanted to help. Thought he said I shouldn't stress myself. We finished eating and literally had a full-on battle over who would pay the bill. I won, "Maybe I'll let you pay next time." He laughed, grabbing my hand and walking out of the shop. While pda was no foreign concept to me, it still made me feel like it was the first interaction between us each time it happened. "Come home with me, please." I stared at him in shock. He had never asked me this. I had no experience in relationships, but usually, that leads to other things. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I trusted him.

We showed up to his home. He told me to wash up for the night. I happily got in the shower to think I was happy. A foreign feeling. My shower lasted well over 30 minutes, I looked down and saw a towel and a button-up shirt. Luckily, I always kept a spare thong with me. Putting on the clothes, I walked out of the bathroom to find him already washed up and laying in bed. A blue robe and pajama pants on while he was on the phone. I walked out of the room to got place my clothes in the hamper, then grabbed a glass of water. I was drinking it while examining the home I had never been inside. Eventually, I walked back towards the room where he was done with his phone call. And looked up with a dropped jaw. I smiled at his antics. "You're still so pretty. With and without the makeup. Come here." Walking slowly towards his bed, he gestured for me to move closer. I crawled to him, and apparently, it wasn't close enough because he picked me up and placed me on his lap while holding my hips. I felt nervous. He noticed squeezing my hips with his larm hands.

I grabbed one of his hands, placing them in mine. Comparing the size and then kissing his palms, I looked up at him to see a bright smile. "I'm not tired yet." I told him it usually took me a while to go to sleep. I was just always up. He nodded and pulled me closer in a hug. Affection from si-o was always the best. I could tell he wasn't the most affectionate person, so I didn't push him. Though I craved his touch, I craved everything about him. Looking out the window, I saw the stars. "This reminds me of when my mom took me and my siblings camping once. It was weird, though it was fun." I continued to look at the stars until he spoke up. "You don't talk about your mother much. Actually, you don't talk about her at all. For a second, I thought she had passed." I was shocked by the thought of my mothers absence. Sure, I never spoke about her because there weren't any good memories, to be honest. "It's fine if you don't want to speak about it." I looked at his face full of concern he was so patient with me, but I wanted him to know and trust me like I did him. "It's ok, it's just.....there isn't much to talk about, you know. She was there but not there. She was always focused on my older sister. She was the amazing daughter who could do no wrong. And I was simply the girl that lived in her house, or that's what it felt like. Sometimes, it felt like I didn't have a mom to begin with. To think I used to pray to have a mother that would be there for me. Then my sister went missing, and as much as I hate to say it, I was happy, for once I though she would pay attention to me, realizing she had two daughters but it only got worse. I was just there, and I hated myself for the fact that I was happy my sister was gone. I've always been jealous of her she is better in every way. That's so evil of me, but I was so fucking lonely. She is such a good person, and makes friends so easily and everyone likes her but me they look down on me. I'm nothing more then a spoiled bitch using her parents credit card to fill the void."

Before I noticed, I was full on sobbing in front of him. I broke down, secrets I've never told anyone in my life. I was afraid of what the world would think of me. He grabbed my shaking hands, kissing them slowly, whining, moving up to wipe my tears. "Your feelings are normal baby, you went your entire life playing second place because your mother is a terrible mother, no offense. A bit of a bitch you know. No secret there since she is Hwang Geum Joo." Hearing that part made me laugh. Until I sat there shocked he knew of my parent. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." It was all I could say at the moment. He looked at me and pressed against my cheeks, letting me know it was ok. And he underdtood the urge to protect her even if she wanst good to me. Or cared for me, it seems."You are so amazing and kind and beautiful. She isn't better than you at all. I wish you could see the way I see you. You have lightened up my world as a whole. I was nothing but a cold, damaged asshole when I met you, then I realized no matter how my life pushes and kicks your ass its your choice to get back up. To keep going, you taught me that baby. All the drug business and shady stuff I do, you don't judge me at all. Sitting by my side supporting me no matter what I choose to do. When I was an orphan and Pavel took me in, trained me to become the person I am today, hit after hit. Missed meal after another, I prayed for a better life. You have provided that life." Hearing those words, my heart was swelled. I felt nothing but love for the first time someone chose me, loves me. I wasn't an option. I was a need. "I'm so glad you chose me or tseg." Hearing that, he laughing pulling me closer if that was possible. "I never liked tseg baby, she is a worker at my company that'd all. If anything, I had my eyes on you since you walked into the building." Similing in pure joy, I leaped forward, causing a groan to come of his mouth. Scared I hurt him, I tried to get up until he forced my hips back down. It was then I realized I hadn't hurt him. In fact, the moment u felt something hard poking me thigh, I blushed.

"How in the world did you get hard, sir?" He simply smiled at my words, moving me forward to the point where I was sitting directly on top of his hard on. My core pushed further into it slowly until he began grinding me against him. I couldn't help but moan. It all felt too good. "Have you seen my beautiful girlfriend sitting right on top of me in nothing but my shirt? If anything, it was difficult not to." Moans slipped from my mouth before I could let out a sarcastic response. Finally, I said the words I had been so afraid to ever tell anyone. "I love y-you." Hearing this, he sped up my hips against his, leaning in to capture my lips into a kiss. "I love you more, baby." We continued until we were left naked and bare before each other, and all the insecurities, abandonment issues, and pain left my mind. Leaving nothing but si-o. The night was a night to remember.

Stay tuned for chapter 3.

[yallemagne]

genuinely curious, what do you think about Jack x Art as a ship

you know it's a good question when i unlock my chambers to fetch the laptop.

Love it. I'm obviously not as invested in it as Mina/Jonathan or even Arthur/Lucy, but I love it.

Before I get too deep into this, I'm begging you, if you like Jack/Art read @bluecatwriter's fics for it on ao3. Such amazing work. I need to catch up, but I haven't had reading brain.

Think we're gonna have to dip a little into headcanon here. And I spoil the book, newcomers beware.

I see these two as family friends. Obviously, what with the familiar nicknames Art and Jack. Both from wealth, though Arthur has titles and land and Jack has medical nepotism. I imagine Jack's upbringing to be very emotionally stunting, raised to embody rigid standards of masculinity. Meanwhile, Arthur's father decided to put all the work he could in making him feel emotionally supported, leading to a very emotionally driven young man. When they were little, I imagine Jack almost hating Arthur for how sensitive he is, saying he's spoiled, but it's really just bitterness over not getting a healthy upbringing.

And then they grow up, and Arthur grows a million feet taller, and Jack has a lot of complicated feelings about that. Cue "Don't be intimidated, Seward. Try to imagine him in his underwear.". Jack is a bit more mature at this point and recognizes Arthur's emotional maturity as a good thing. He still tends to view it as "Arthur is masculine enough to make up for some feminine habits", so it isn't perfect. Meanwhile, Arthur has always looked up to Jack, though he now has to crane his head down. The two of them embody something the other finds admirable, and their regard for one another sits in this void space between respect and attraction.

Now. Sexuality. There are two wolves in my head. One is more interesting. The wolves are: Jack is disaster bisexual and Jack is compulsory heterosexuality gay. The former is what is said about every single male character in the history of tumble fandom, and the latter feels more interesting from a writing perspective. For the development of this relationship, I lean toward the latter. THIS IS RELEVANT I PROMISE.

So... I think Arthur introduces Jack to Lucy in hopes they would get along because Arthur wanted Jack to one day be his best man. Very awkward when (this is just an interpretation of the events btw) Jack subconsciously recognizes Arthur's feelings for Lucy and projects his feelings for Arthur onto Lucy because Perfect Man likes Girl -> Like Girl to become Perfect Man.

(I do think Jack truly falls in love with Lucy as a person separate from Arthur over the course of the story, but not romantically. He just can't perceive it as anything other than romantic because of heteronormativity.)

Arthur loves and trusts Jack so much that, even knowing Jack proposed to her the same day he did, he goes to him and asks for help when Lucy is sick. This love and trust means he doesn't think to ask questions, though. I talked about that before.

When Arthur loses his father, his existing family, and Lucy, the woman he was going to build a new family with, he falls apart in Jack's arms. He trusted Jack with Lucy's health, and she died without Arthur ever being informed how dire of a condition she was in, and he still trusts Jack with his emotions. Jack isn't fully equipped to comfort Arthur, but his attempt is genuine and deeply appreciated by Arthur.

And then Bram wrote Arthur being comforted by the only other recurring female protagonist and decided that that marked the end of Arthur existing meaningfully in the story because Bram is a coward.

I've already written a post about Jack's feelings of entitlement regarding women and why it's more than just shipping that makes me resist the idea that Arthur and Jack married anyone other than each other. Their relationship is based on mutual respect and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other. The key to getting these two hitched is getting Jack more open to vulnerability, and then we are set.

Following the events of Dracula, Jack is anxious about embodying perfect masculinity, getting a wife, having a million kids... but this anxiety manifests with him bothering Arthur to do it. Arthur is in no rush to do any of these things. The woman he was preparing to build a family with is gone. Jack, who sees every single woman as a potential wife because of misogyny, is flabbergasted. Perhaps they have a falling out (just cut out my write-up of the falling out bc I'm like "that's a good idea!" even though I know I'll never write it). Jack has been pressing Arthur to move on because Arthur embodies the masculinity that Jack strives for, and if Arthur doesn't want a wife, what if Jack doesn't want a wife either?? What if they're both gay??? Arthur asks "...well, what if?"

Then they have a Vegas wedding.

[denaphoenix]

Hazbin Hotel - the first two episodes, but only how it made me feel about the characters without spoiling any plot.

Angel - I’m still in love with Angel. He’s a living, breathing closed door, layers upon layers of not himself while also seemingly having no filter - and the subtlety of letting little tiny glimpses of what’s underneath show is awesome. 

Vaggie - Vaggie is amazing. She’s got so much heart and cynicism, and it’s more well-balanced than I’ve ever seen it in fanfiction. Especially digging her vibes with Angel because she’s not really antagonising him, and I’ve got a feeling that underneath it all, she’s digging him just because he says the things she’s sometimes thinking, and then she doesn’t have to say it, and can instead tease Angel for having said it, because all in all she knows that whatever’s being said will fall on deaf ears anyways. (all of that mostly being conveyed in vibes) Also, who wouldn’t revel in annoying Angel Dust? He’s annoying after all!

Charlie - Still Charlie. I don’t think she’s entirely getting it. Any of the it. Another super layered performance that gives off major toxic positivity mixed in with the non-toxic normal positivity. I feel like she might be getting there, but not before something blows up in her face worse than it’s already blowing up in her face. I just really want to take her aside and slap her - in a good way. She’s just darling.

Alastor - literally screaming. He’s delicious. He’s just - a presence. Personified chaos, and just barely scraping that uncanny every second he’s there. Love how he just ignores everything he’s not interested in addressing, and seems to genuinely be standing above everything. Unphased, and easily agreeing when presented with arguments, while also never seeming like he’s losing in any exchange. Nothing’s personal for him, I feel like, and I dig that. He’s always either “ok fair”, “ok, fair, but” or “sorry to disappoint” - those are the three modes and I just want to be half as classy as him. Or at least half as unhinged.

Husk - he’s… there. The first two episodes gave me just enough of him to kinda get me settled with the new voice, and other than that, all he’s offering are Husk vibes - which are no-nonsense, and uninterested to the max. He’s doing things, sure, but it always has the vibe of him only doing them because walking away would have just been too much effort. Can’t wait for his no-nonsense to actually contribute to things.

Nifty - I am obsessed with Niffty. Loved her before, and now that we’re getting more actual character development, boy am I here for it. She’s got a character, and the character is single-minded, trope-based, obsession. And I’m here for it. 

Sir Pentious - amazing voice acting, and Pent just continues to be so FUN. I’m pretty sure he’s got about one brain cell, and the results of that give me life. 

Adam - ok, I feel like I need to be spoiling this, because he himself said it best. He’s quite literally “the original dick”, and I don’t mean it in the way he seems to see it. There, I said it. He’s making my skin crawl, and while I’m still on the fence with how he’s being voiced, the longer I think about it, the more I think that that was actually a smart move to balance out the ick with some ridiculousness so they can have him make his statements before everyone with a vagina switches off. So yeah, barely bearable, and I don’t know if I want him to be even that bearable, because he could otherwise be powerfully unbearable.

Lute - highly dislikeable girl, and in the best way possible. Heartless and uncaring, and deep in the rationalisation tunnel. I wanna hug her just to get the experience of getting pushed away.

Velvette - will take some serious getting used to, that one. Don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this. I think what might have put me off was her voice being more… idk… cockney than expected? Or… deep? Or… assertive? Or…sane? Uhm, I don’t know what it is, really, if I’m being honest. Pretty sure I will get around to digging her eventually though. Because the potential is SO there. So yeah, kind of looking forward to getting that to click.

Valentino - currently unlocking a new tier of hating Valentino - the “I do not understand his vibes” tier, which is very much interlinked with the realisation that I do not see whatever the casting team must have seen in Valentino’s voice actor. Whatever they were going for, I don’t think they got there. I don’t even like to hate him… he’s just - taking me out of the story with his line delivery and fucking with my mind in a non-good way.

Vox - Vox is the complete opposite to Val in terms of my feelings - I love, love LOVE Vox. He’s absolutely awesome, and I just want MORE of him. The voice acting’s got so much depth. He’s bringing the sleazy, and the despicable, but also the deeply HUMAN underneath it all - which just makes his scenes with Val all the more jarring. 

Katie Killjoy - yeah, she’s just Bryce Tankthrust in hell. A tad underwhelming, but the meta’s funny, so I’ll certainly be able to deal.

All in all, it was a solid two episodes, and the music was banging, so I'm still aboard the hype train.

[yorsgirl]

I just read through both chapters of your Gojo fic and I’m OBSESSED! So many thoughts right now, you’re so talented 😭

Y/N has given us a bit of insight as to why she dislikes Kazumi and I can honestly say that IF what she’s telling us is true (since we’re really only getting her perspective) then I don’t blame her for her feelings. Your rich friend that can accomplish anything they want because they were born into wealth constantly reminding you that YOU can’t always get what you want? Nah, I wouldn’t let a friend shit on my hopes and dreams whenever I spoke of them. Then continuing to call someone a nickname they’ve clearly said they didn’t like is also pretty disrespectful too, I wonder if there’s any more though because… Y/N GIRLIE why not just stop being friends with her if you didn’t like her 😭 she’s been inconsiderate of your feelings enough for you to just drop her but… None of this is an excuse to have an affair with the man your “best friend” loves though like??

I wonder if Y/N has actually developed feelings for Satoru. I’m sure their affair has started out of mutual attraction and revenge on Y/N’s part, but given her reaction when Satoru promptly reminded her of her place of not being on Kazumi’s level (which I wonder if he’s said because he most likely knows she’s insecure about it) then she might have without realizing it.

There’s so many questions racking through my brain, has Kazumi really not suspected a thing even through their blatant flirting in front of her on their first meeting? Why did Y/N stick with someone she clearly can’t stand? Is there more to Y/N and Kazumi’s relationship that we have yet to see or is Y/N just that awful of a person to Kazumi? As of right now my mind is just racing!

I can’t wait to see the aftermath of this situation, Y/N babe let’s get some therapy maybe 😌 Kazumi, I’m so sorry you were betrayed by the two people you probably loved most omg 😭 Satoru, you can go to hell (need you so bad tbh)

THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER and I’m so sorry for the essay message 😭 looking forward to part three! Have a good one ❤️

First, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS AND READING MY WORK!! ❤️ ✨️ and your character study is awesome dearie!!

Secondly, I love how you left messages for everyone, here's there answers for you:

Y/N: I am sure I can use a bit of therapy after all that, thank you.

Kazumi: I still can't... it's so hard to even believe but... I guess, I knew bits and pieces about it... Still it doesn't help but thank you for your concern.

Satoru: Would you accompany me on the road to hell, m'lady? *winks*

Now, to answer your questions, I won't answer about Kazumi and y/n's relationship and why didn't Kazumi suspect much cause anything it'll spoil the next part.

As for, why Y/N didn't leave Kazumi:

Its kind of an attachment issues. I have incorporated this trait in y/n recalling my behaviour with some of my former(toxic) friends. Idk if anyone relates with it or not but in this issue, you can't just let go of people who have done wrong to you.

There's a tendency to just stay with them even though you absolutely hate them. But the reason for the stay is because you want to witness and revel whenever the other person's suffering. And as we saw, y/n is a two-faced bitch – she'd provide fake support while laughing internally.

But this attachment issue also makes her suffer as she is not really "leaving" even though she might say that she doesn't care for Kazumi, she is actively present in her life and in a way does care (for her suffering). It is making her suffer too which kind of gives the feel of an internal masochism.

This brings me to my second answer:

I guess I have mentioned it that y/n does harbour feelings for Satoru even though she knows he is an asshole. And yes, the affair was mainly a revenge but then think about it, you are actively flirting, sleeping, meeting someone but all in secret. It gives you the - Us against the world vibe which is thrilling in itself and you don't know when you overstep the threshold of love even after knowing that your partner is a Dick.

Y/n knows that her feelings can be one sided and its causing her to suffer (internal masochism), still she can't stop this affair (attachment issues at play again).

That's just it!! And thank you for reading and writing to me. It really means a lot !! 💗 😭

[a-twisted-tale]

Cards and her relationship to Eaten

I wanted to write this up as soon as I got the question from @sith-shenanigans, but I kept rewriting and reexamining how I was going to try to explain because it is a complicated web of feelings, metaphors, themes, and strange identity issues that I was not sure I could truly do it justice without just writing all of her stories, but at best that is years away so here is my best attempt.

First of all, I personally like the headcanon of Mr Eaten and Mr Candles being different entities, particularly the system/headmate that I first saw from @vake-hunter. Just hooked into my brain for whatever reason and I could not say no it changing how I viewed the entirety of Candles' and Eaten's story.

So! Thematically, Cards is an extreme exploration of identity, selfhood, and what it means to be someone. In how that regards SMEN is rather simple. She was supposed to be Candles. She was shaped to be Candles, to let him live on, to have a new body, new life, a new chance. How that happens lore wise I will get to it later, but Candles is who she was expected to become, to be. In this perspective, Eaten is the embodiment of those who expected her to be such. For her entire life she had the niggling voice that was hers, telling her something was not quite right. Even the Masters she (fortunately or unfortunately, up to you) has to interact with all start to look at her like she is supposed to be someone else, even treat her like it at some points. To further this point even further, her SMEN arc is a self-destructive response to realising she does not truly understand herself and seeks to cut away everything that "is not her", trying to be what everyone wants her to be. Trying to cut away all that is Seria in order to just be a hollow vessel with that little bit of Candles so that he can grow, fill it up, and live. At the end of that story, well, I will not spoil it, but she does not end tragically. Eaten is not just a one note reflection of such themes, but does bring out said themes, and does develop along the story.

Lore wise, that is the hard part. I have enough nebulous ideas with lore backing that allow for this story to take place, yet none of them fit cleanly. Before she was born, she was changed to be like Candles. Be it through Parabola, souls, laws, no laws, Irem, or a mix of the above, that was the plan. The process was not perfect, Eaten could not just remake Candles, or it would have already happened, but someone could be shaped to be the perfect vessel through Seeking. The result was a Human that was not quite human, did not fully fit in with others of their species, and displayed a disturbing amount of Curatorial traits from a young age. Her Mother tried to do something about this (positive), but well... She failed, and that is another story. In the end, Seria Clever, the Clever Correspondent, would ascend the chain to a form that truly fit their strange strange soul and accept who she was. She was not Candles, even if she is part Candles, she is Cards. This was not who she was when she was conceived, nor who she was shaped to be, but this is who she was.

Another aspect of this relationship that is extremely prudent but did not fit in the other two is a different dive into identity. Are you the same person as you were an hour ago? A day ago? A year? A part of Cards conditions I have not mentioned yet is her ability to remember everything, caused by a helpful (harmful) infusion of Violant, a purposeful reflection of the infusion of Irrigo one gets during SMEN with Obscurity. Cards reflects the guilt and mourning of no longer being who you once were, for good or ill. You can never truly be the person you used to be, no matter what you do, no matter how much you cut away, no matter how much you change, you are the you of now, and you will never be the you of then. Eventually she comes to terms with that, and that the solution to saving Candles is not to damn herself, but the guilt of knowing that she exists now because Candles does not haunts her. The you of before cannot live, because the you of now does. And just like the you of before, Cards exists because Candles wants her to. Again, I will get into this more in my actual writings, but it is more of a self imposed guilt strictly from herself.

I am sure I could go further, but I cannot quite articulate anything more, alas. Forgive me if my speech is unclear or absurd. (Sorry halfway through writing all this this quote popped right into my head and I just have to say it. Appropriate subject matter for the quote at hand at least.)

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

In your recent chapter, Asha tells the star that she would never wish-

It reminded me of Tangled where Rapunzel probably believed that she would never cut her hair but in the end it got cut regardless.

Now, since Asha declared that she would never wish, I hope it is safe to speculate that she will wish by the end of the story. (After a great battle with the villain, leaving starboy at the brink of death but the villain/s are still defeated)

Then Asha would be holding starboy who is almost dead (after all the character development they’ve gone through) and is sobbing before telling him, “Please- don’t leave me…! At least grant my wish of you staying by my side, even if I cannot reach you”.

it’s all silent, even the talking animals that never seemed to shut up lowered their heads in mourning. The people of Rosas look on at the scene with dread and the feeling of betrayal from the villain/s.

As Asha hugs the starboy and silently cries into his chest, a transformation or magic scene happens and tadaaa- starboy is alive!

(since Wish is the blueprint for all the fairytales, then it makes sense if this scene would be the original like the Beast’s, Eugene’s, Prince Naveen’s, etc.)

The first thing he says to Asha was, (weak voice and all, but has a growing smile on his face) “I thought you said you would never wish?”

Now, yay! They now only have to deal with the aftermath and they have a Disney-style happily ever after!

(thoughts? Your fanfic is fueling my brainrot for them-)

I have so many thoughts on this 😭😭 🥹

Ok first things first- thank you so much for the ask! I truly enjoy hearing from you guys! Also thank you for this- I could actually visualize the whole scene in my head while reading this (this was super well written btw) and it’s really funny how you mentioned all those other past Disney princes. I’m just going to stop there before I accidentally spoil anything else ((pls help me 😂))

Second of all- hearing that my fanfic of all things is fueling brain rot for the ship is like one of the most flattering things I’ve ever heard 😂😂😂 ((thank you so much!!!)) I was actually really scared about this because I took a LOT of creative liberties with both of the characters (that you’ll see soon)

Third- which is something I really shouldn’t say in regards to your speculation on how everything will go down…Gosh this is so hard to do without my lawyer but I’ll leave it at this:…maybe you’re on to something.

Maybe.

[jisokai]

afterword: If you cross the river (will the fighting end?)

read the fic first obviously if you don't wanna spoil it for yourself + thanku lena for the inspiration to yap about my fic in a respectable way

inspiration:

i was originally inspired by a scenario i thought of that i didn't end up using... funny how that happens. i imagined someone that kita only ever saw when it rained, walking along the road under an umbrella. kita would finally come into contact with them and ask about it—something along the lines of a simple "what's the occasion?" and their response is "it's raining"

(at the very least i knew i wanted a reader that was related to rain. the idea of wildfires came to me naturally once that was decided—for likely obvious reasons.)

the other scene i knew i had to write was when atsumu lays on the wet bed after reader had been laying there prior. it ended up so short in the final piece, but i'm glad i had it to motivate me.

i already linked the fanfic that opened my eyes to magical readers in the haikyuu!! universe, but i can't overstress how much this author's work means to me. the stories are so complex while concise, which i find extremely impactful. it also has a great balance of humor, which i personally struggle with in my writing. (i am way too serious fr i should turn it down a notch. someone once told me i sound like i'm writing a government document)

title & lore explanation:

the titles for every fic in climate grief are based in koans (zen questions for contemplation) that have been altered to fit the stories. the one i chose for this one is "stop fighting across the river". i won't attempt to explain it or the way i modified it, since that kind of defeats the purpose of koans, but i'm sure you can understand how "if you cross the river (will the fighting end?)" can be derived from the original :}

my use of spirits in fic has been mostly through a limited perspective of the non-spirit character, but i tried to make it more apparent in this one what reader's responsibility is. split between watching kita and the forest...having to sacrifice both of them at different times to help the other. i think kita and reader will have a happy future, though not one without more separation at times.

process:

i wrote this fic mostly start to finish, despite only having a few scene ideas in the beginning. it followed my usual process of letting the ideas stew for a week before i black out and type away. i did end up writing the fire scene early in adolescence because i was impatient, but the rest filled in chronologically afterwards.

i think it took me about 10 days to write. i hated the first draft, then i became a hermit for a few days,,, when i returned to normalcy i got to editing and realized that i didn't hate this fic after all—yippee! editing was primarily making sure i explained things thoroughly, checking that themes were consistent, consulting a thesaurus, haaaa... this is probably the most thoroughly edited fic i have so far, it's cool to see how this process develops as i get back into writing more :') but i hate the fic again after my final edits. i'll never win T_T

the research that went into this fic... was both very fun but also nervewracking at times because i can get hung up on accuracy. i read A LOT about japan/hyogo's harvest seasons, land management, plant & animal distributions, wildfire response, rice farming...not to mention subsidies and land ownership logistics LMAO (even though hardly any of that actually appears in fic). classic writer's search history i guess. it was fun though! brain expansion.

other notes and thoughts:

i had a lot of back and forth for whether or not i was going to have granny die. she lives for at least 7ish years after kita graduates in canon, so that was my main reservation. but it felt like it made sense for the plot and kita's journey. i love her :(

i don't know if i have anything else to say about this fic or anything to reflect on. i go back and forth between being over it and thinking it's my magnum opus (typical post-declaration that it's finished vibes). like all my work, this story was an ode to a lot of important things for me. in this one it's primarily: the forest and mountains and river i call home (one's that burned not long ago), my own grandmother and her birthplace, the joys of tending to land, rainfall, the way i scrutinize my own hair, the thoughts that keep me up at night...lol.

anyways, i think that's all! it's nice to just vent about my own story lol

(+ bonus) comments i left for myself that make me laugh:

[ladyprocrasinator]

Good Omens FINALE

THE NICE AND ACCURATE PROPHECIES OF AGNES NUTTER, WITCH

Rating ★★★★☆

When I say this book was a rollercoaster I mean it. I was almost completely blind going into this book. The most I knew about it was that Crowley and Aziraphale existed and that they were not yet 'played' by David Tennant and Michael Sheen (who I look forward to seeing in the series). To be honest I was very thrown off guard by the writing style, like I mentioned in my last Good Omens post it felt like a combination of a British Comedy and a philosophical book. Which I'm very sure was purposeful. However this change in style made it harder for me to read. For the first third of the book I was highly considering giving the book three out of five stars, but I persevered. Now I sit here being glad I did so. The book really became interesting to me when the apocalypse really started and we started to learn more about Agnes Nutter Witch. I became fascinated with how Gaiman and Pratchett portrayed Agnes's visions and how all the point of views the reader has seen was coming together. On the other hand I continued to enjoy how the two authors portrayed Adam (He had awesome development as well). Overall I really liked how the book came together in the end and gave the reader (at least me) a sense of contentment. Like if everything does go to hell (no pun intended) it's our friends and willingness to take hold of one's own destiny that makes a difference.

Favorite Character

As promised since this is technically a part of my reading challenge (TO READ OR NOT TO READ) I must pick out a favorite character. Except I'm torn between two. Those two being Adam Young and Agnes Nutter. So I've decided I'll make an argument for both.

Agnes is one of the characters that play a vital role in the book. She is described as a handsome woman (or once was), and with her magic (knowledge of herbs and other things) she was able to heal and help people. I love her because she is such a witty and well thought character. Because of certain things she did in the book I consider her such an icon. One of them being how she prophesizes modern things (although it is also funny how she sees some of her descendant's futures). Unfortunately I cannot say much beyond this without spoiling so just keep an eye out for whenever Agnes is mentioned.

Where do I even begin with Adam? Well he is the son of the devil but he manages to still be a normal kid (There are also so many biblical references that I want to point out around him but won't for the sake of not spoiling). As mentioned in my last good omens post he and his group actually act like kids. They aren't prodigies and they aren't complete idiots either. All of them have a good balance between innocence and being complete rascals. Adam is a charming kid for being the son of the devil and simply wants the best for his friends and dog. Overall I enjoy the simplicity of his child mind.

Almost forgot but dog is an honorable mention and I love him.

Favorite Line/Lines

"Here's to next time," he said, "And ... Aziraphale?"

"Yes."

"Just remember I'll know that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth liking."

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

What is under the cut

Other things I liked about the book

Funny moments or things I laughed at

Something I found very interesting about the book was it's take on religion. I grew up in a religious household and I'm still torn. My view on it is that I feel that there is a god I'm just not sure if anyone is completely correct. Going back to the book it tickled my brain how they handled religion. Like Armageddon was supposed to come around but because Adam was raised as a human his roots became unimportant and he denied his roots. He saw the value in life where heaven and hell just wanted to defeat one another. It's quite strange seeing heaven and angelic beings represented more as lawful neutral instead of true goodness.

Things I found amusing

"I saw a program. It had David Attenborough, so it's true. (154)"

"What a nice person," said Newt. "You could almost overlook her blowing up an entire village." (talking about Agnes Nutter, 199)

Crowley meeting Leonardo Da Vinci and having the original sketch was cool but 'knowing' he met the artist and Vinci liked the drawing more was hilarious.

All in all there is quite a lot I appreciate when reading Good Omens but that is for another post! Thank you all and I'll be posting my next To Be Read book soon!

[katvaramell]

Ive just caught up to the JJK manga (chapter 249) and its insane 😭

I started reading it after watching the anime and oh my god I did not expect it to continue this way!!!

One I was quite disappointed that the amazing „I am you“ sequence between mahito and Yuji was only a few panels. I really loved the way they did it in the anime and I think it gave the moment the gravitas it needed.

Yuta is actually helping Yuji??? I got spoiled about quite a few things but this didn’t register at all. I loved their work together though :,) especially now in the fight against sukuna I’m very curious how it’ll go

The amount of information at once about the culling games is very disorienting. It’s such a complicated magic system and now all these new people and rules all at once really take some focus to understand!! (Which I’m not used to after starting with one piece…)

I love how Yuji manages to unintentionally get an adult to adopt him every two weeks it’s so cute

This scene was such a gut punch!! Having it spelled out and then yuji saying he’s guilty just shows again how hard the shibuya incident hit him. And they had no breaks to mourn since then. I think it’s so heartbreaking how yuji only sees himself as a cog with a function and puts himself in this role he can’t escape. I genuinely appreciate that they basically redid the scene, but this time explicitly said that it was sukunas fault and that Yuji agreed!

When megumi killed that guy and it was announced that he got 5 points I absolutely couldn’t believe it. I know that they weren’t disillusioned to killing but still seeing them do it willingly really surprised me and also hurt :(( they’re just babies

It’s very overwhelming to be introduced to so many techniques after each other, but I think it’s very interesting how they work and develop!!

Also I love Maki so much. Absolute icon behavior. I love that she is as strong as Toji now!!!! Gege is not great at writing women, but here he really popped off

I’m very interested how the whole angel plot line will continue. Because after it turned out that she was someone that megumi saved, and she wants to help him in return for that I think some surprises will still come up (also I loved the flashback with gojo ruffling megumis hair 😭 it really showed how involved in each others lives they were :(( )

Poor megumi😭😭 I got spoiled for it but the panel at the end of a chapter where megumis soul is just lying in the dark all miserable made me cry :(( they’re just babies your honor

I’m also quite curious to see if he is still alive and how his cursed technique is faring. I didn’t quite get what is going on with him currently, so I guess we’ll see

There is a totally straight explanation for this I’m sure 🤡

I love and hate that gojo got a little flashback scene to his dead friends. I’m glad they’re reunited again, even if they’re still burdened by what happened to them - but it still hurts that they died here. Even though they were so strong.

I don’t think that Gege will bring gojo back. I do think he’s dead, because the way things look now they don’t genuinely need him to win. And it would take away the severity of the plot, if they could just do take backsies

I love that yuji has a voice as a sorcerer even without being sukunas vessel. He seems to still think that he is just a cog but I do think he starts to value himself more

It is also very interesting to see more of higurumas development and I was so surprised to find out that he is just as powerful as gojo! It truly seems to be a second golden age of jujutsu with all these powerful players assembling

I guess that even though Yuta beheaded Getos body, it doesn’t seem like kenjaku is dead because he is just the brain. I can’t quite tell if he will return in Getos body or a new one. It seems like the body is finally dead for sure, because all the curses escaped. But I’m sure we haven’t seen him for the last time

All in all it seems like the series is coming to an end in the near future. Everything starts to funnel down to a last show down, but I can’t quite tell how that will go.

[krotecho]

Update on my work, I shared with exactly three people and one read it (Without pictures~)

My dear friend, whom I love dearly, must have enough of me and my writing bullshit by now (I sent her unhinged smut yesterday and she didn't reply much after that, I think I broke her with my awful writing °-°) So. I'm going to whine about my characters here. Because who's going to stop me.

I mentioned before that I work on my old project now. My brain is amazing with how fast it ditches ideas in a hole, next to which is a sign "Hiatus purgatory hole". Besides. Original plot can make one question where were my parents, because stuff I wrote when I was like twelve is worrying. I didn't had a good concept of the world it turns out and my world was incredibly... Weird.

Still is, but at least I embrace it now and I think it isn't as horrible as I was painting it eight years ago XD Either way, I'm wandering from main topic. I work on my idea, with my nearly ten years of experience with writing. And it's a bit depressing that I'm still not that good at writing after all that time.

...

I warn about me spoiling stuff here, if you think you'll want to read that story (It's in polish so good luck, mate) then don't go below this point. I'll keep it civil, nice and clean, but I'm not going to hold much. Summary probably will be on my master post, so before reading this you can look there and decide. But to the main event.

I'm obsessed with my characters, for past week or so I was spamming my friends with random trivia, I randomly come up with. But I think I was annoying as hell with that xD That's why I will just do scene dump for my damn idea (Which btw would eventually be posted, presumably when I'm done or have more than two point one chapters) because I'm going for failing this semester with how distracted I am. I mean to be fair I'm improvising quickly but I have project for one class due this Thursday and I'm not mentally ready for this. Not to mention I didn't even start researching statistics for this. But that is future me problem.

My ultimate info dump would definitely start with the characters. I wanted to draw the designs but my drawing skills just said "Yeah your free trial ended, you can buy subscription nowhere" so I'm not going to do that for a while. I need new email and I can just cheat the system for my mediocre art style to work. I planned not to complicated story with main character older than me. It's plus minus ten year difference. I'm twenty for reference. His name is Rhys, because I love giving my characters unusual names. You will see that later. I'm still thinking about giving him last name, but I don't think I will. It has connection to his past, but that is still in development. Rhys is quite short man, he looks like he is no older than at most twenty, while in fact in the start of the story he is in mid twenties. And story is spread across something like ten years maybe. When I was first writing that shit (13/14) I would say he's old. But right know I would consider dating a guy that age. It's not that old honestly.

I kinda forgot if I did gave him freckles now but in original storyline he definitely had them. He has jet black hair, their length is based on my own hair's length because he would look awesome with that. It's like almost to the shoulders, but not too long? You can make a ponytail but it's not long enough to be a problem. I need to get a haircut they are getting too long. Besides. Black hair. We got that. In the first part of the story he looks like stray cat, who never saw brush in his life. Matted tangled messy. That is how you can describe it. Because he couldn't care less. By the time plot starts he already was alone for seven years, he only preached basic hygiene, because he knows somethings about diseases and doesn't want to fuck around and find out. But touching his hair isn't something he needs to do so he doesn't do it.

I spend whole paragraph about his hair only. It's going to be a long post. Really long. To complete that weird unusual look better he has matted golden eyes, lifeless and tired for most of the plot. They express more than he thinks tho, other people will see stuff there. His eyes are also so pretty I swear. Especially when there is dimmed light, and the light is just reflecting in the irises. I just made a pretty boy. Pretty man. He is a grown adult after all. Back to my word vomit. Eyes actually will be showing his personality better than I ever would with words (It's not that I'm writing the damn story. Nope) It is connecting to the back story, so I can just smoothly go to that. Because his skeleton-like look is also kinda connected with this.

Making a character without trauma is like cooking without spices. You of course can do that and it's fine but I like my food spicy. And my characters traumatized. It's so easy to give trauma to neurodivergent person, really. Because I kinda write him on the spectrum. And I refuse to believe he isn't there. But I'm not going to confirm nor deny this. I made him have some quirks and other stuff that feel like autism? It may be that or I just suck at characterization and stuff happened. Either way it was really easy to give my man trauma. He has three older siblings, did I mention that he's a shapeshifter, I think I didn't so I do it now, and both parents. That may feel weird, main characters usually don't have parents. Unless they are awful. And I did write them so good I hate them with burning passion. I do not have names for them because I only recently polished their personalities. It helps that I watch so much commentary videos on stories from r/InsaneParents on yt. I have my material right there. (The Click, I'm not going to hide that, why should I)

He had relatively good childhood, until he was seven and he broke his nose or something, not important what, important fact is that he was bleeding much. He bleed over some stones, when one turned into lovely green gemstone stained with some red on the surface. Here is some important information about my beloved shapeshifters. If you count all the time I spend with this somewhere creeping in my mind, I was planning this "race" for something 'round six years. At first I was going in some slavery territory with how I divided living beings there (I told you, it was weird) but I got better and now I have humans, shapeshifters and some kind of mages?, that is still under work. And among shapeshifters there are two groups. "Purebreds" and hybrids. It's mostly genetical factor how the kid will be, but traditionally hybrids are a mix of human and a shapeshifter. They can shapeshift but they need to have their precious gemstone, made from their blood (You see where I'm going with this). Without it they also can change form, but it's simply not worth it. They can't fully control their new form, giving to the animalistic brain. For example when a hybrid would change into a let's say panther, they would be under influence of panther's instincts only vaguely remembering they aren't a panther. To that goes pain, that rises exponentially with the size of an animal. To put that in perspective, changing in to the rat and back would hurt only a little or not at all, but taking form of a brown bear and back, would be agonizing. And for the record shapeshifters can do dragons, wyverns, and stuff. It simply isn't worth the trouble to change without the stone. Next thing you hear about shapeshifters as a whole will be tainted with mpreg, I'm not even sorry.

So continuing with Rhys' backstory. To this point everyone thought he was just going to learn late to change shape. It happens nothing to be ashamed of. But when he with a smile and blood on himself, proud with his discovery showed this to his parents he wasn't expecting that reaction. There was shock, denial which he promptly debunked changing into wolf's pup to present what he could do. His mother went through all five stages of grief in mere seconds, accepting that fact pretty fast. But oh it wouldn't be nice. His father could not accept this. He accused the mother of cheating even though Rhys is practically his carbon copy. (And here is the genetical factor, Rhys is his son, he just got that genes. It's a mystery, because there is no modern genetics there. And I don't exactly have time for writing thesis for a fictional world. At least now. Semester ends in like two months) They started to argue in front of the child, that is confused as fuck, green gem clutched in hand. And things changed from there. Father either avoided Rhys or was just straight up cruel to him. That man had audacity to not acknowledge practically his clone as his kid. He ignored his youngest when he tried to impress him with skills he learned. He would call him useless, criticize him to the point he eventually was scared to do anything.

Rhys' parents also separated. That lead his mother to hate him, a child, because he was the reason. Not saying she wasn't right but she didn't need to take it on a literal child. Rhys got punished for stupid shit, he became a real troublemaker, putting himself and others in danger with his shenanigans. He didn't understand why suddenly his parents hated him, and stalking wolves was his coping mechanism apparently. Amount of times he got injured is amazing. His mother used corporeal punishment, locked him in the room (he learned how to pick locks just because of that), she even gone far enough to tell him, if she knew how he would turn out she would have get rid of him before he was even born. By that time Rhys was around thirteen. His oldest siblings weren't living around anymore, and his sister, barely eighteen, doesn't see severity of shit he goes through. She is busy with keeping her act together, pressured by mother to have her role as the future leader of the group they live in. Father left, few years before so it was only these three.

When Rhys turned fifteen, on the very same day he got a gift from his mother. She thrown him out. She told him to get out, and leave. And he did, only valuable thing on him his cursed gemstone. Surviving was hard, he didn't know where to go, wandering through forests, hunting for food, eating in animal form to not die. He found some lovely small village after few months like this. He wasn't warmly welcomed but it still became a place for him to live in. He spent three years there, life seemed to not be bad, he had a girlfriend. Even though he is aroace. We all figure out ourselves. But everything turned into shit again when his girlfriend, after committing literal crime got pregnant. She accused him of raping her, because she was from "no sex before marriage" background. Whole story almost ends here, people want shapeshifter dead.

Girl is at least decent enough to try and make it just a life sentence. Here chimes a mage, saying he can arrange something that will punish him, no one will see him around again and no one gets killed so everyone's happy. That is summary of a story how Rhys got himself into specifically designed for him prison with only himself as a company and grim future in dimmed light of fluorescent protists. Some people are just unlucky in their life. She also took his gemstone so no shapeshifting, something he dearly loved, that made him feel better with everything that happened to him. And suddenly he was only with his thoughts, skin itching to change and helplessness that weighted on him while he haunted tunnels that were his new home.

He learned to cope with that, seven years passed by. During which he slowly lost spark, blood on his hands, death wish not strong enough to give up. And we have my plot in that point. Rhys is tired, pessimistic optimist, clinging to life not even knowing why. Before I go more for plot, I can whine about him. Because man is clearly not good.

There is nothing he can understand, he was always "weird", the only kid that complained about noise, that one kid with the most disgusted look when touched by someone he didn't know that much, one that fascinated watched animal corpses and constantly begging to learn more about diseases, death and injuries. He knows it's just how he is, but he doesn't know why is it a problem? He slowly accepts the fact that he will die in darkness, alone, far from his family. That he'll not see any of his siblings again. He doesn't care about his mother, feeling of hate is now mutual. But after that seven years, que Ada. A ten year old, making man in his mid twenties question his life decisions even more than before. Bringing up his past, with grace of a wrecking ball, even when she isn't aware of that. And will not be until few years later.

...

I wonder if I should just post this and do this in parts. It's already long. I already miss on ocassions to make my uni work. Yeah I think I'll pick it up somewhere in the future. So I'm going to make it in parts✨ It's so good I don't have much audience to disappoint here.

Here is a playlist I made for this story: It's not on wattpad yet tho

Maybe next one will include designs or at least one design. Maybe project about red wolves will not make ma living corpse so I could do that. I'm going home for Easter so I'll have access to my tablet for four days. Maybe I'll do a ref for some of my characters. I'm betting on Rhys if I have time for this.

If someone sends me a tablet now I maybe would make some makeshift cover so it would go on wattpad. Don't do that I'm really enjoying my break from posting (I have no time to do pleasure stuff)

And if you are reading this, my perfect beta-reader, I do regret sending that smut to you, let alone writing it XDD Oh and sorry for any spoilers you could get from here.

Have a nice day or night, whoever you are person reading this, take care and drink water :3

[bluephoenixblog]

Notable Video games of 2024

Not a top ten and hopefully no spoilers, I’ll try to avoid them. This was a good year for the kind of games I like, so I did play allot more than usual. I feel like I played more games then watched shows and movies.

The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom for the Nintendo Switch (Nintendo)

    It’s cute, I love the gameplay and I enjoyed it a thousand times more than BOTW and TOTK. Around twenty hours to finish unless you’re like me who has to go look at everything and run around randomly. I don’t

4/5

Also, for some odd reason Iv begin calling Zelda, Zelly just because she’s sooo cute!

Silent Hill 2 for PS5 (by Konami)

  I feel like this nails what a remake should be, is true to the original but is different enough that it’s not boring to play. I praise it for living up to the gameplay and story of the old one with next gen graphics and I didn’t have any issues with the graphics or anything no odd scruffiness. The only thing I can say if I want to be nit-picky is the fog is still better in the older games, the modern graphics just don’t get the grain or copy of that creepy fog like what the old PS games did. I am sure that’s because of how odd the effect was done back in the day but I’m sure there’s a way to make the fog better then what we got but that is so little compared to everything else that this remake did well.

5/5 for being a true remake but not a boring carbon copy. 

Life Is Strange: Double Exposure for PlayStation 5, Windows, Xbox Series X/S and Nintendo Switch. (by Deck Nine and published by Square Enix)

   I believe this is the 5th game in the overall LIS series and the second time we get to play Max as the main character since one. I think there are pros and cons to have a game series that is known to be episodic come out all at once. It makes it feel a bit rushed but you also feel relived you don’t have to wait a week or more at a time to finish a game. I like the game play but Max’s powers are better explained and the game play was more, cool, or interesting in the first one. This time she has less time powers but the space of time and different timeless. Witch is cool but it feels like a bit much for me, very muddy.

   The story isn’t as good either but that’s not to say it isn’t good it just kind of makes you want to go play the first one and before the storm. There also a couple of fan theories that were allot better than the plot of what was actually going on. Um one or two okay but when most fan fiction sounds better and makes more sense then I’m like okay I think I want the only one who felt underwhelmed. Not at all at Aw.

   Voice acting and music very lovely as always.

3/5 

Palworld for Windows, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S & PlayStation 5 (Pocketpair)

   ….I lost so many hours of my life to this game…I need more Chikipi’s. it has good game play; the story isn’t really important (what little there is of a story) the music is forgettable and I actually play with headphones on with either an audio book or music. This is a game where you do turn your brain off and build your charter your base or your Pals.  

3/5

It’s a stress reliver and it is cute but it’s not a mind blowing master piece.

Mouthwashing for PC/Windows (developed by Wrong Organ and published by Critical Reflex)

  WTF did I even play…I’m sad not really scared…this is a very emotional driven psychological game. I remember why I don’t play indie horror games when I’m happy. There is no way to explain this game to you without spoiling it, so if you want a good emotional terrorizing space horror story then play this or go watch someone who does it just for the plot. The story makes this game worth it.

   4/5

Resident Evil 4 for PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, PC/Windows, and Xbox Series X/S (Capcom)

 I did not get to play this game on release but I hope it’s okay I put it in this 2024 list of mine, if not…skip it? Don’t read it? I don’t know what to say but I’m going to ignore anyone who’s like “But that came out in 2023”….I didn’t play it until this October a few months ago.

  RE4 is a game that I probably have a very different outlook and take on then most other people. I grew up on re 1-code veronica (zero and outbreak) . When I say that I mean I have older brothers who gave me a donut and told me thee monster weren’t real and I even played with my little hands. I’ve never been afraid of zombies but I do think that fostered my interest in them as a person. So, when I was 12 in middle school and re4 was coming out, I won’t lie I was very disappointed and almost refused to play it. also, big Claire fan, so much better then Leon, was my thinking even though code veronica just had her as a main character.  So, I actually wouldn’t play RE4 until 2008 a year or so later after it came out for the Wii…I will say I’m glad I waited because I had so much fun with motion controls and using the fake Wii shot gun thing. Everyone I tell this to loves to inform me that that’s the easy way to play 4. I’m like who cares it was fun.

  Anyway, the remake, I think between the remake of 2 and 3, 4 so far is the best. It does what both kind of failed at, you don’t feel like you’re missing gameplay, puzzles or story beats and plots. The voice acting and charter updating was done so well. it actually makes me very disappointed in what we got with the remakes of 2 and 3. Like re4 makes capcoms work on the other work look soooooo bad.  But where not talking about them. If you are existed for a remake that counties to rock the franchise then give it a try I don’t think you’ll be sad.

5/5

I’m not still annoyed that playing Leon and Claire’s stores in different order doesn’t make a difference or that there puzzles don’t really intertwin, or they forgot that Ada was in a romantic relationship with John and manipulated him for the passcodes to get into the labs….Nooo, or that there was not a clock tower or a warm in the most short cliff not version of 3….no I’m not petty bitter to think things could and should have been better. (looks at how clean and good re4 came out)

-------------------------

Infinity Nikki for Android, iOS, PlayStation 5, and Microsoft/ Windows (by Papergames)

    …Do you like dress up games? Do you like crafting and do you like adventure? Boy if your someone who wants to run around for free and do all these things then this is the game for you. I’ve been a fan of the app games for years but playing this latest installment on the PC dose make it feel completely different. I will say it’s slow on my laptop and my phone, I have yet to try it on the ps5. Other than that, for a game that is free I am beyond amazed and happy with it.

4/5 because I do find the controls annoying on both versions iv play and shutting the sound off was a bit annoying of a task to do as well. I need my audio levels adjusted all the time so it helps when I can do it easily.

------------------------------

Woot I’ve been sick and this was my last list of notable things I had to get done. I hope you guys have been having a good New Year so far. I will be working on some art to post soon. I had wanted to do cute drawings for each game above but not feeling well I decided agents it since I wanted to have these post up a week ago. So look out for some cool fan art.

[on-the-couch]

Parenting thoughts and tips... 

From a first-time mom who's trying to get it right :) 

I'll be honest being a parent is hard and no matter how many books I've read and videos I've watched I still didn’t and don’t feel prepared, but you learn as you go. I’ve called my mom just about every day. I’m a first-time mom, my daughter was born in October 2023, and she just hit 6 months. These are some tips and opinions I've picked up through my journey so far. 

Babies in my opinion can’t be spoiled because you're holding them. The way I see it is this baby has been in the womb for 9 months, they were warm and safe and surrounded by mom all that time and now you want them to not be held. It doesn’t make sense to me so please hold your babies, let them take contact naps on your chest, keep them close to you because that's what they are used to and that's what they need. They are used to hearing mom's heartbeat, so they sleep better when on your chest. Skin to skin contact helps them regulate their temperature and helps them bond to their parents, so dads should do this too. Seemorehere

Moms don’t be afraid to ask for help. I know it's hard and you want to do everything for baby, but it can get overwhelming and exhausting. Talk with your partner and let them know what they can do for you and for the baby. This is new to both of you and it's going to take some time to get it right so be open and direct with your communication. Know that your emotions and hormones are all over the place and what works one week might not work the next and that's okay. Seemorehere

What's worked best for us these six months is a flexible schedule and I know it might not work for everyone. If things don’t get done right on time that’s okay for us. If she's a little fussier than normal, and we don't get out of the house because of it I'm not going to stress over it. We can go for a walk tomorrow instead. If the dishes don’t get done because she napped on me instead of in her bassinet then that's okay. For me dishes and laundry aren’t a priority. Priority will always be my baby, and what she needs. 

Chest carriers are amazing, they keep baby close while leaving your hands free. If the baby is fussy and can’t sleep, I put her in the carrier and walk around with her and she knocks out right away. If I'm going to the store I pop, her in the carrier and get my shopping done. Same goes for doing the dishes and doing laundry. They're a great way to get her up and out of the house without having to hassle with a stroller and car seat. Go for a walk around the block and get some sun and fresh air. It'll be good for both of you. Seemorehere

Talk to your baby just like you did when they were in the womb, narrate your day, what you're doing, where you're going. They won’t really understand of course but they will be soothed by your voice, and it promotes brain development. What I like to do follows the book goodnight moon, while I turn off the tv or the lights I say goodnight to each item. I also like to lay in bed with her and make plans for the next day or talk about what she did that day. And when we're going to the car to go out somewhere I sing the Little Einsteins theme song, “We’re going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship” These little things will help form a routine and habits with her helping her understand what's around her. 

Lastly, know you don’t have to constantly entertain your baby. Give them time to take in the world around them. Let them lie down and view the room without interruption. Babies can get overstimulated too and they can get fussy when too much is going on around them. So, take some time to slow things down and have them in a calm state. Have them sit against your chest where they can view your face or sit with them outside. Seemorehere

Just know you got this and you’re doing great. The days fly by so enjoy every moment of it they don't stay small forever. Everyone has bad days so don’t let them get you down there’s always tomorrow. :)