#how you would talk me through it when I'd break down because of the bullying and say i wanted to disappear even though we were so young

[2-kamikou-1]

sometimes the slightest of things set off the most sickeningly nostalgic feelings in me

[inkskinned]

something that stuck with me once, way back in middle school when i was still learning how to write - my teacher said "writing shock and tragedy is easy, it's humor that's the hardest."

i have been up and down the halls of academia. i have the fancy degree and the experience in publishing. i think i paved most of my own road with the little bricks of sorrow i had stored inside of me. i know i did it mostly with works that are blisteringly lonely. i know why we write like that. it's lifesaving.

but yeah, i mean. i also know how much people think that "sad" media is the same thing as "good" media. our human desire to connect is so hard-pressed that we immediately latch onto any broken themes. the bullied kids and the tales of inspiration. people keep saying things like "glass onion" and "everything everywhere" weren't actually good. because, you know, they're. happy. or happy-ish. happy enough. and we only value art if it's grimdark-adjacent.

do you know - people still consistently whine at me that my writing would be so good if i just capitalized things. i used to flinch. i get kind of a weird, vindictive little rush these days - i get to say thank you for the comment! i have chronic pain and this is how i conserve my hands so i can write more during the day :) grammar isn't real anyway! and now they're trapped in the room with me, you know? i get to pull out my map and show them how grammar is not the same thing as good writing.

writers have this thing. we scratch at our insides, constantly, prying our lives apart into splinters. prying the splinters apart into atoms. when we combust something into poetry, we control it. it cannot hurt us if it exists outside of us rather than burning a hole through the bottom of our lungs. it's not a wonder to me that so much of what i make comes out like a death gasp. i spent a long time at the bottom. i keep going back, too. when you're down there for so long, the only thing you can exhale is fumes.

but humor is hard. humor needs timing; which i can't promise in a paragraph. i can kind-of force it through careful spacing, but i have no idea how fast you're reading these things. humor needs a somewhat awareness of your audience, when really - anybody could be looking. humor needs us to understand what the joke is, why it's a joke, and to think - ha! that is funny. in tragedy, everyone understands the metaphor of a kicked puppy. in humor, you need to introduce them to the concept of a dog.

and forget about positivity. forget about anything not made for adults explicitly. every time i see a well-made children's media piece, i feel fucking horrible for the creators. most of the time, people see children's media as being sort of "not worth" applause, even though i'm pretty sure they have to work twice as hard. i have no idea how hard it must be to not be able to have your character just say. "well, fuck." something about a message of peace or friendship or caring - for some reason, that makes the media not for adults. like, okay. i'm pretty sure my father actually, out of all of us, could use a good book on how to control his temper and talk about his feelings.

but whatever. i write a short story about my ocd, and how it's fucking killing me. it gets an award. it gets published. i write a short story about my ocd, and how i'm overcoming it, and how my days are getting lighter and starting to flourish. i keep getting ghosted. no response. it just is lacking... something.

is this it, forever? you can be an artist, okay. but the trade off is that the things you make - if they're happy? if they're joyful? people will say it's stupid and pandering. you bite your nails off. you file your teeth. you hear something inside of you breaking.

the other day in a writing group, someone i'd thought of as a friend said: "you write so much better these days! i love what you make when you'd rather be dead."

[libraford]

Have you shared the story of you joining the track team with us? I feel like you have but I can't remember any details.

I SHALL TELL YOU A TALE OF PURE FOLLY!

The year us 1999, I am in seventh grade. Like most seventh-graders, I hate everything that I am forced to do but I especially hate Pep Rallies. They are hell for my tiny little social outcast ADHD brain: loud noises, forced enjoyment of an activity, sports, pointless interaction with people I can't stand, and the potential for relentless bullying afterwards.

So we had a pep rally.

And I, for the first time in my rules-following life, decided to skip.

My class filed into the gym, I ducked into the bathroom, and waited for the sound of the doors closing.

Problem was that I didn't think I'd get this far and I've never been in the habit of delinquency, so I had no idea what to do next. I started wandering the halls just a little bit, testing out the freedom of having broken the rules, going down hallways that weren't part of my routine...

...when I heard dogs barking.

You see...

...the pep rallies weren't exactly about basketball. The pep rallies were an excuse to make lots of noise so no one heard the police dogs when they came looking for drugs in people's lockers.

And I am not where I'm supposed to be. I am where NO ONE is supposed to be. And I panic, because if I show up to the pep rally late they are going to notice.

I did not think this through.

So I start looking for somewhere to be while the police are searching for worse criminals than myself and I see a bunch of students in the cafeteria. One of them is a friend of mine, so I wouldn't be completely out of place in this location, so I came in and sat down next to her. A roster is being passed around and I sign it so that I can say that I was accounted for during the pep rally in some way.

The teacher who is heading whatever this is stands up in front of this group and says:

"Thank you for coming to the track and field tryouts. You've all made it in."

Uh...

...woops.

I think I'll just sit through this one meet and then quit. People do it all the time, I don't think anyone would notice.

Except that this is a small town and everyone knows everyone- so the teacher/coach helpfully informed my father that I'd joined the track team voluntarily and in no way was it a mistake of any kind.

My whole family is sports nuts. My dad was in charge of the sports page at the news paper, my mom will talk excitedly about college football, and my brother has excelled in every sport he's ever been in.

I'm a textbook case of Not That. Art student, lead violist, and the most exercise I get is dodging projectile rocks on my way home from school.

But my dad is SO proud of me when he hears about it. Lee is doing a Sport? A Sport that's physical? A Sport with a team? A SPORT!

Like... he bought me new shoes and stuff to clean the shoes with and all kinds of first aid stuff for my muscle pains and oh my god for the first time in his life I was in a SPORT!

(Just to emphasize- he has always been PROUD of me. He thought I was a genius because I showed him how to make chocolate dipped strawberries at home without a fondue pot like... he's pretty sure I'm going to save the world somehow. But this was the first time that I had ever shown even the smallest bit of interest in doing a Sport, which is HIS special interest and now we can BOND!)

So I try.

You know... I hate running.

I actually have a condition caused by a childhood illness that impacts cartilage development as well as asthma from a bronchial infection when I was in 5th grade.

But my dad came to all of the track meets that he could and I was so deep into the lie that quitting now would break him.

So I try my hand at non-running events: shot put and discus. I'd still have to run during practice, but I was allowed to go off and do Not Running for a little bit.

I can't remember the actual numbers or anything, but I remember that when I first did shot put with proper form, the coach kind of turned her head sideways and said 'damn.'

So turned out that being at the roly-poly stage of my larval development meant that I was still learning how my personal body chemistry affects the build of muscle. The answer is 'very quickly.'

It starts getting hard to find shirts that will fit my biceps and now I'm in trouble for wearing non-standard issue tank tops to school from practicing shot and discus.

If this were a movie, it would mean that suddenly being a jock meant that I had been accepted by my peers and something something Mean Girls something something. But no, because having incredible muscle as a thirteen year old did not do anything to disspell the rumors that I was a lesbian and unfortunately I was still bullied relentlessly. Nor did I ever throw a punch because I don't like hurting people and no one ever taught me how to fight. But it did mean that I had a handful of girls ready to use teeth and nails to defend the shot put champion.

Which is important because I was the ONLY shot put and discus thrower in the school.

And as I found out- the district.

I went almost an entire season without competing against a single person, winning the event by default.

Until the semi-finals.

And I did have to compete against an assortment of other thirteen year olds that were just now learning that they had upper body strength. But because they ALSO were the only ones competing in those events they had never competed against another person either.

So we all sucked.

I got gold in shot put. Bronze in discus. But to their credit there were only three competitors.

Huge fucking deal for my dad.

Not a huge deal for the rest of the track team, who all did really poorly in most events BUT throwing events, which meant that this was our last game of the season.

And so ended my short, accidental career as the middle school shot put champion.

"Did you try out again in 8th grade?"

Fuck no. I hate running.

[smallmightsupremacy]

So that translation was... something. A good one? Well, that's up for debate. Personally, I think that it's a bit iffy, and decided to make a post about why I think that way along with my own personal translation of that scene (you know the one) (disclaimer: I am by no means fluent in Japanese so take what I say with a grain of salt and please, for the love of god, correct me if I get anything wrong)

So before I get into why this isn't a good translation of the Japanese version, I just want to say that even when you don't consider the Japanese version and just look at what's being said in this panel, it doesn't make a lot of sense for Katsuki's character to be saying something like this at this point in the story. Like, it sounds like he's saying "OFA isn't strong enough to stop you but my quirk is" and it's just insinuating that he believes he's on par, perhaps even stronger and more capable than OFA. That itself seems like something a very early bully Kacchan would say, and it just takes away a lot of his growth. I refuse to believe that current Katsuki "Izuku will I reach you someday?" Bakugou thinks that he's still above and better than OFA. Making him say something like that to me just seems like all his growth has been thrown out the window. Now moving on to the actual translation, I'm going to break down the Japanese for you guys and explain how I got to my own translation:

Okay, so after using a Japanese keyboard, this was the kanji I extracted from the page to use: "OFAに拭えねーもんは こつち で 拭うつてな ぁああ!!!"

So if we break down the first line, we can see there are four parts to it: OFA, に .... は,  拭えねー, もん (OFA, the particles, the verb, the noun) Now, I'm not exactly sure what the particles do in this context, and I don't want to feed anyone false information, so I won't be touching on that. However, the verb 拭えねー (nuguenee) is a negation that originates from the base (nuguu) 拭う which means to wipe. It can also mean 'to get rid of', which I think better suits this context so we'll go with that and make nuguenee mean 'can't get rid of'. Finally, the noun もん (mon) can be used as a word to say a thing or object. So when you put that all together, the sentence 'OFAに拭えねーもんは' roughly translates to: "What OFA can't get rid of (handle)"

Moving onto the next line: 'こつち で 拭うつてな ぁああ!!!' Once again there are 4 parts to it: こっち (Kocchi) which means here when talking about a place in close proximity to the speaker 拭う (Nuguu) which means to wipe or get rid of in this context

なあああ (Naa) which can be used when you express what you feel or think

And the rest are particles, which, once again, I won't be touching on

So what do we get when we put this all together? こつち で 拭うつてな ぁああ!!! = 'I'll get rid of (handle) right here!!!"

So the full translation? 'What OFA can't handle, I'll handle right here!!!' Now, I know that my Japanese is by no means amazing and that I probably made a few mistakes along the way... but I do feel like Katsuki saying something along the lines of 'what OFA can't handle' instead of 'OFA couldn't keep you in the ground' gives Izuku a lot more credit and makes it seem less like Katsuki thinks lowly of him and more like he wants to help out. Okay okay. So now you may be wondering why I used 'handle' when translating the verb (拭う) nuguu into english after I told you that it means to wipe/eliminate. Well, let's take a look at the apology scene, particularly the bit where Kats tells Izuku 'we're here to step in when you can't handle it all on your own'

If you haven't noticed it yet, nuguenee (拭えね) is used here to mean 'can't handle' as well. I'd like to think that Horikoshi deliberately chose nuguu as the verb to mean to handle in this most recent chapter to be a callback to the apology and Katsuki following through with his promise. It makes his apology feel even more genuine than it already was because he's following through on his words. That's the part I'm most upset about. The English translation has no callback to the apology when Horikoshi deliberately made the stylistic choice to use that specific kanji for the sake of having it be a reminder of Katsuki's growth and development/that chapter. It's a shame that the English translation seems to have the opposite effect.

But those are just my thoughts 🤷‍♀️ let me know what you think!!

[melloween-candie]

Teen pregnancy [P.3]

A Carl Gallagher x Fem Reader fic

Summary

You only started dating Carl for about 2 months. That was right around the time when he and Dom broke up. Deep down, you knew you couldn't compete with her. He would always choose her before you. Yet you were only 16 years old when you discovered he got you pregnant. This news terrified you so much. You didn't want to lose him, and you knew he was already going through so much shit stuff with his family and his "business." Better yet, you were scared about how your family would react, let alone his. At least you have Debbie, your best friend, who's also pregnant with you.

Warning! Small spoilers, Cussing, Fake friend, Mention of cheating, Verbal abuse, Mention of bullying, Manipulation, Small mention of alcohol, Slight mention of isolation, Paranoia, Lying

Note! If any of that makes you uncomfortable- DON'T READ THE STORY!

Word count: 854

[Angst/Fluff]

Part 1, Part 2, PART 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (Completed)

Shameless Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

***Narrator's Pov***

It has been about 2 weeks since all that happened. You've been avoiding Carl the whole time. Always giving him excuses, saying you have a girl's night with Debs or how you're too busy with your studies. When really you and Debbie had been planning on seeing a doctor for the both of you.

Meanwhile, Carl worked on getting out of his situation. He removed his Cornrows, gave Fiona his money to pay for the house, and he stopped doing his runs entirely.

This caused a certain someone to notice. How could she not when Carl has recently been working with her father to become a cop.

That's right, Dominique Fu*king Winslow, Carl's ex and your worst nightmare.

You two used to be friends until she found out that you liked him- Now she'd do anything to destroy your life. Throughout your time dating Carl, she has constantly tried to break you guys up. Of course, Carl being oblivious, never noticed. In fact, he's still friends with her.

His reason for breaking up with her was because she did, in fact, cheat on him. Though the only reason why he chooses to stay friends with her is that he wants her dad to like him so he can become a cop. Or at least that's what he told you.

But that all doesn't matter now. She wants him back, and she will do whatever it takes to get him back.

Time skip!~

***Carl's Pov***

It has been about a month and a half since all that went down. You and Carl hung out occasionally, but you both mainly focused on yourselves. You and Debbie became inseparable again, and Carl had just been doing his thing until Dominique approached him.

"Hey, Carl~" Dominique looked at him. "Carl!"

Carl jumped out of his thoughts to find Dominique in front of him. "Oh hey."

"I just wanted to ask, how's your pregnant girlfriend?" She asked with evil intentions. "Oh, and your sister's pregnant too, right? What luck!" She giggled.

"H-how did you know that?" Carl looked around, making sure no one heard.

"Oh, you know, rumors spread quite quickly in the southside~," She said nonchalantly.

Carl started panicking. He didn't want to stress her out even more. He knew if his girl found out that the school was spreading truthful rumors about her, she'd flip.

"Who started these rumors?!"

"Who knows..." When Dom realized Carl was about to leave, she grabbed his arm. "Hey, listen, Carl. I know you're in a really stressful situation right now and everything, but I was wondering if you wanna attend this party with me?"

Carl looked at her for a second in complete disbelief at what she just said.

"I get it if you don't want to, but I figured it would be a good way for you to relieve your stress and everything. You know, since you're gonna be a dad soon, I'd figured you'd at least want to have fun one more time." Dominique smirked, knowing that what she had just said ultimately convinced him into going. "I'll text you the details later. Also, don't bother bringing your girlfriend. There's gonna be alcohol."

Then she left, leaving him to contemplate his thoughts.

***Y/n's Pov***

Throughout your weeks of school, people started acting differently towards you. Every time you walked down a hallway, people would start whispering. Your other friends started avoiding you, and people started staring at you more and not in a good way.

It made you even more paranoid. You knew you weren't showing; it's been only a month since you found out after all, and besides, Debs and Carl both agreed to keep your pregnancy a secret since you didn't want the whole school to know.

You decided to go talk to Carl about it. When you found him, you saw Dominique walking away from him with a smirk on her face.

What's that all about? You sneaked up on him.

"Hey, what was that about?"

"Huh?" Carl turned to look at you. "Oh, nothing." 

"Oh, um, ok."

You couldn't help but feel uneasy about the whole situation.

Why would he be talking to Dominique of all people... a-and why now?

You looked at him while you two walked down the hall. You remembered reading something about body language and how to tell if someone was lying to you. You weren't entirely sure if it was true, but you had a bad feeling that Carl was gonna lie to you soon.

Ding~ Carl looked at his phone. Stopping in front of your classroom door.

"Hey, listen, I won't be able to hang out with you tonight."

"What! Why?" You asked, devastated. "You promised you'd come to me and Debbie's ultrasound checkup!"

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I can't go tonight."

"Why not?!"

"Uhh-" Carl scratched the back of his head. "Look, I gotta meet up with Sargent Winslow for something..."

Carl then left you hanging in the hallway alone.

Sargent Winslow? Since when was Sargent Winslow more important than our kid?

You weren't an expert, but you were pretty sure that Carl just lied to you.

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty: Kang Sujin character reconstruction

They did out bestie so dirty in this drama, it's time to clean up writer's mess. I don't think Sujin ever deserved such overkill. Turning her into a villain way after the opportunity window closed was so pathetic. Massacring this heroine in such a cliché way calls for serious damage repair, so let's goooo.

Disclaimer: I'm not a writer and this is my first fic ever. English is not my first language, sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.♡ the story sounds better in my head but what can we do Thanks @youlookprettywithoutmakeup for sending in a request for Seojun x Sujin content. Also a big thank you to the gifmakers who blessed us all with this inspirational seojun x sujin perfection!

TW: angst, losing friends, mentions of bullying, verbal violence and family abuse

Seojun x Sujin angst

After Sujin moved to the States, the real truth behind that bullying video came out. It was never Sujin's doing, but she left all her friends believe what they wanted. Her life was pretty much crumbling down from the abuse back home and her parents' divorce lawsuit. It felt like the whole world turned its back on her. The final blow was when Seojun accused her of posting that bullying video of Jukyung. Then Jukyung facing her about it, too. Being the only one who's always had her friends' backs, she was hurting more than ever.

- Fine, Seojun, let it be me. Does it even matter? I'm the bad guy. Nobody trusts me. Not even you. I could bend over backwards defending myself for something I never did and it won't change a single thing.

- Something you never did? Get over yourself, Sujin. I know how you feel about Suho.

- Wait, do you seriously think I'd do something as disgusting as that because of a guy?

Seojun smirked hearing those words, shaking his head in disbelief.

- And since when do you think I have feelings for Suho??? Don't you know me?

- Obviously I don't.

They stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sujin's heart was breaking into a million pieces, but she wasn't showing any emotion. Seojun was cruel, even if he didn't mean to be this way. His constant hot and cold behavior towards Sujin confused her, but after he started showing interest in Jukyung, she gave up on him.

-Sujin, I went to Yongpa High, none of those girls knew a thing about the video.

- Wow, congrats! You must be proud of yourself. Trusting Jukyung's bullies... Seriously?! Like you don't know their queen bully is into you.

- Just like you're into Suho. I saw you two hugging.

- You saw that?!

- Yes! I did!

- Then you saw me crying like an idiot too. Great.

- Wait... What?

- I quit the music academy, okay?

- Are you crazy? Why would you do that?

Seojun stood there, his eyes wide in confusion. He couldn't believe his ears. How could she not tell him any of this sooner? After all they've been through. After all those moments she helped him get over their friend's death. Weren't they close enough now, why wouldn't she confide in him?

- You don't know everything, so don't act so smart. Besides, Suho isn't even my type, you pabo. He just saw me crying at the staircase.

- Then explain one thing.

All she could think about was how did she end up in this mess. Now all of a sudden he wants to talk to her? And he's acting all innocent about it.

- I have nothing to say to you, Seojun. Even your lousy accusations can't touch me. If anyone ever did anything bad then it's you chasing a taken girl.

- I wasn-

- Let me know when you stop projecting your problems on others.

- No, you got it all wrong, I don't have feelings for Ju-

- Stop it. I'm tired of this. I don't even care anymore.

He looked at her in silence, heart hurting as well. He couldn't admit his feelings to her like this, not now. He knew he did so many stupid things to catch her attention, but he didn't think it would backfire like this. He also knew something wrong was going on, but her stare was hurting him. He couldn't read her face at all. She looked cold. Serious. He felt like her eyes were literally piercing him.

- I did it. Okay, Seojun? I did all of it. Go spread the word. Oh wait, you did that already.

Frustrated and disappointed, she confirmed the rumors. She didn't want to fight back anymore. It was the first time in her life she considered giving up for a change. Like it mattered, she'd be moving to the States soon. She has already lost everything and everybody she hold dear. This was the last time two of them talked before she left Seoul.

She never told Seojun about her father beating her, she was ashamed of that. She also never told him her father was against her attending the music academy, she was scared that if she ever started talking about it she'd end up telling him everything. Suho was the only one who knew about her family situation, but only because he saw her bruises one time and asked her about it. He promised to keep her secret and she never confined in him again after that. All three of them have been friends since early childhood and she didn't want to do something that might push either of them away.

Sujin was always an artistic soul. She was great at pretty much everything once she set her mind to it. Her singing skills were always advanced, even before she started classes at the music academy. She outperformed almost all of her seniors. No matter the talent, she had to quit singing. Father's orders.

"Singing won't get you to medical school, you're only worth as much as your grades, don't show up home until you come to your senses and quit that idiotic nonsense of yours."

So she quit at the time only to save herself from unnecessary pain. She was done with covering her face full of makeup for school and popping painkillers like candy. It was much easier to quit, at least until her mom got them both out of that mess finally.

Her mom managed to get a divorce eventually. She swore she'd take care of her daughter properly this time, so winning the lawsuit against Sujin's father played a crucial role this time. And she won, which left her with their huge family mansion worth billions of dollars. Sujin's father got a restraining order from court, and after the lawsuit they never heard from him again. Her mom sold everything and they both moved to the States, where Sujin enrolled in music academy once more. Their life was pretty much comfortable, but they've always stayed humble.

Sujin knew she had to go back to visit her friends at Seoul at some point, especially since she was getting so many texts and calls from her two ex besties ever since she left. News on what actually happened and who was behind the video incident spread like fire and cleared all guilt off Sujin. Yet she couldn't get over the fact that all of her friends judged her so quickly. Sooah disappointed her a lot, she never backed her up, not even once. While Jukyung surprised her more than anyone. She was the only one who never believed Sujin did anything wrong, not even when Sujin directly told her it is her doing.

Even though she wanted to spend hours on the phone with Jukyung, and let her know about everything what happened, cutting everyone off seemed rational for the time being. Everything was still too painful for her and she needed more time to heal from the chaos. Falling into unhealthy patterns was no longer an option. Sujin's habits have changed drastically ever since she moved to the States. Volunteering as a math tutor and martial arts teacher was all she did when she wasn't studying. Her taekwondo classes took place in the early mornings, and math classes in the evenings. Slowly, it got her thoughts back in order.

It wasn't until Seojun texted her a whole month after moving that she felt that pit in her stomach again.

Seojun: I'm sorryx Sujong I shoudlvew known

- What's with this pabo? Ah, he's drunk again.

Sujin: Hey Seojun, I hope you're good. I know you've sent me that txt accidentally. Stay well and take care. Don't drink and ride that Ninja of yours, ok?

A few days passed until he finally responded back.

Seojun: Where r u, I need 2cu. Sujin: I'm out of the country, actually. Let's catch up over a video call one of these days, ok? Seojun: Naah, txt me whn u get back :P

She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, to hear his voice. She needed him to be there for her, just like she used to be there for him long ago. If going back there was ever an option, she needed to get better fist, on her own. Thoughts of being back in the city where it all went downhill made her extremely uncomfortable. Besides, her feelings for Seojun confused her, it was too much all at once. This time, she decided to let him go for good. Maybe next time their paths cross, things turn out different.

[archivalofsins]

Recently, I said I wouldn’t be discussing Kotoko’s case. Mostly because I believe I’ve already interrogated everything regarding the information provided already.  

However, I never said I wouldn’t discuss her ideology.  

So, let’s talk about Kotoko’s ideology and why she’s pivotal to Milgram’s progression and Jackalope says this,

Firstly,

What about Kotoko is too good to be true?

Well, her ideology of course. It fits far too well with what Milgram is trying to examine. Something the experiment the series gets its name from tentatively touched on. Fascism.

Particularly the Milgram experiment was done to,

CommonLit | The Milgram Experiment: X

Now I feel it's important to say out of the gate that by bringing this up I'm not stating I believe Kotoko is a nazi. While fascism has ties to Nazism not all fascists are nazis.

I'm toeing the line here and trying to use extremely specific wording as not to be misinterpreted. Because simply boiling down Kotoko's character to that concept alone would be a disservice.

When it comes to discussing Kotoko's ideology and how we've interpreted it I feel it's important for others to understand and recognize that fascism does not exist in a convenient vacuum where one can always tell that it is that from a glance. Poison comes in many forms and sometimes it can taste delicious going down.

One could frankly assume by me saying Kotoko has a fascist ideology that means I'm saying/believe she's a nazi. Because people tend to like to attach terms with things, they already have a firm understanding of and nazis are the most prominent type of fascists.

Many may go well I can tell a fascist when I see one. I wouldn't be tricked into falling for or supporting that sort of mindset. I have a firm understanding of right and wrong. I'd never knowingly support someone who's an exclusionist, bully, homophobic, ableist etc. Because I know better.

However, that's hard for me to believe from an outsider perspective considering Kotoko did have the highest Innocent verdict of trial one.

Firmly affirming that her crime was forgivable. That and by proxy her ideology that people who offend will always be offenders and there's no room for redemption or reform regardless of the scale of the transgression was correct.

Something she goes to no lengths to hide during her first trial song.

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak."- "I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break." -"I’ll teach you the pain you caused. It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for? Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion. "I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?"

Milgram goes further making it clear through Jackalope in the second trial commencement notice and Mahiru's second interrogation that Kotoko's actions are heavily tied to her beliefs and ideology. Something she cannot let go of. If one were to just compare Kotoko's mentality to that of Nazism the focus would simply go to the idea that she is protecting the weak. Something that those sorts of fascists weren't known for doing.

This is why I'm making a point to state I don't believe Kotoko is a nazi and I do believe she thinks her actions are having a positive impact. However, I believe the ideals she shapes her actions around directly align with and can be labeled as fascist.

One of the reasons why fascism is so insidious and easy to fall into is because it can take many forms and look right up until the moment it begins to negatively impact the person viewing it.

This is why there's been so many videos on the concept and how to recognize it.

The Philosophy of Antifa | Philosophy Tube One hour and seven minutes and five seconds long.

Triumph of the Will, or, "Yes, You Might Be a Fascist" | Cinema Antifa Time 11:29 to 19:11. Twenty-two minutes and fifty-three seconds overall. The part time stamped goes over a list of features that tend to crop up when fascism is being applied. I'll go into that list later but yeah Kotoko's behavior and some of her second song's lyrics align well with this list.

Overall fascism isn't synonymous or specific to one movement. It is just an ideology and practice that can be shaped to fit the means the individual using it are trying to achieve.

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

It's also telling that her first song Harrow is about her protecting the weak from the evil. Yet her second trailer voice line is her lashing out at the weak. Meaning the weak are only important to her if they are able to be used to support or excuse what she wishes to do already.

Secondly,

Can you prove Kotoko has an ideology? And if so how do you know for sure it's fascist one?

When it comes to the f-word or any forms of isms. No one really likes to consider it outside of its more popularly known application. At points people may even default to believing that the word is meaningless. Stating that the word has been over applied and connected to almost everything at this point.

However, not everybody who doesn't get along with people who happen to have different religious beliefs, ethnic backgrounds, sexualities, or genders is a bigot. Sometimes people just don't get along. Just because people fight sometimes, or one person jumps another, it doesn't mean it's motivated by any external biases.

People can argue and it not be that deep.

However, that's not the case with Kotoko and Milgram blatantly states this.

Jackalope bluntly stating that he's,

"Never seen anyone so ideological and aggressive."

Why do I think Kotoko's ideology is fascism?

Okay , okay. So, there's some evidence and downright statements that Kotoko's behavior may be the result of her ideological beliefs. So, some could accept that she has an ideology but does having an ideology alone make a person a fascist?

People are entitled to their own beliefs after all.

Well, firstly with the way Amane's verdict is veering into Guilty-

No, they're not and consistent voters have made that abundantly clear.

Amane's case is kind of sad when you think about it in conjunction with this information. Because the voters are actively persecuting her for having religious beliefs that deviate from the standard while voting someone who could, and I believe does have this ideology Innocent. Possibly even doing so twice in a row.

Something I feel would really highlight how history is doomed to repeat itself in perpetuity if people fail to remember and engage with it critically. However, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Pettiness aside-

It's not as though Milgram was really trying to hide Kotoko's ideology. People just extended an immense amount of the benefit of the doubt with her case and took a lot of things at face value.

Milgram put her ideology on full display right out of the gate and has continued to.

From having Jackalope comment this,

"Prisoner 10, Kotoko. You can tell just from her aura that she’s not your everyday person…… You come across people like that sometimes."

To highlighting how she views those who do not agree with her as inhuman and those who'd agree with her as genuine human beings.

X

Q.03 Do you think any other prisoners who committed the same sin as you deserve to be forgiven?

Kotoko: Of course. Haven’t I already said that I believe my actions have been correct?

Through doing this she creates a us vs them situation where if someone were to say she was wrong they'd be the wrong one. However, unlike with Amane and Futa this actually worked for her.

"Eat this! Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you! You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang!"

"If you claim what I did was a mistake. I believe you are the one in the wrong."

Q.09 Which of the other prisoners do you think resembles you the most?

Kotoko: That’s a hard one. I’m only able to answer based on my guess on what they did. But I think the one that probably resembles me the most is Futa? Though he’s also the person who resembles me the least.

"I won’t stop until you say “sorry”!" - "It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for?"

Milgram has been doing everything in its power to highlight Kotoko's ideological beliefs at this point without blatantly turning to the camera and yelling what they are. Even though it did that too in a way.

Well okay fine she thinks people who believe she was wrong aren't human but like you pointed out the others have voiced that if we view their behavior as wrong then we're the ones who are incorrect. Plus, someone would have to be a very inconsiderate, uncompassionate person to think she should have just let things continue as they were. It makes sense for Kotoko to believe that anyone who would persecute her for protecting others is wrong or inhumane. What should she have done, just ignore it? All these systemic failings and wrongs?

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak. It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared."

Q.12 What is your motto?

Kotoko: “There’s no other way that could let us live, so I walk this path.” [TN: Quote from Mushanokouji Saneatsu.]

I too can quote people known for writing news articles in support of the second world war and being the younger brother of the Japanese Ambassador of Nazi Germany from memory.

A perfectly normal thing to be able to quote off the top of one's head verbatim.

No, red flags or dog whistles here.

Alright well that is odd, but it could be highly coincidental. That guy is a well-known writer and poet after all.

Besides Kotoko's focus is on protecting the weak from the evils of the world. The most well-known example of fascism is the exact opposite of that. They showed clear disdain towards disabled people, people who didn't practice the same religion as them, and people who did not look like them.

They were judgmental exclusionists who didn't care about anyone outside of their in group.

Kotoko isn't-

21/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday) Shidou: ……oh, Yuzuriha-kun. It’s unusual so see you around this early. Wishing me a happy birthday…… probably isn’t the what you’re here for, huh. Kotoko: No, it is. Happy birthday, Shidou. Though it’s not like I bought you a present or anything. But while I’m here, I’d also like to ask you something. Has anything changed for you recently? Having nightmares, hearing voices, feeling anxious…… anything like that. Shidou: Not especially, no. ……ah, so this is about how Kajiyama-kun and Shiina-kun have been strange recently? And she’s been trying to hide it, but Amane too…… We’ve been living in these conditions for a while…… it’s not unusual for there to be an impact on us mentally. Are you worried about them? You’re a very caring person. Kotoko: Hmm, so you noticed? If nothing’s wrong with you, then that’s good. ……if I’ve understood properly, that means you’re safe…… Once again, happy birthday, Kirisaki Shidou.

21/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Haruka: Ah…… H-happy birthday, Kotoko-san. Kotoko: ……thanks. You’ve definitely changed a bit. Do you remember before? You could barely even talk to me. Haruka: I-is that so? Now that you mention it, I, I maybe have got a bit better since then. ……m-maybe I’ve got more used to being around people. There’s other people here who are interested in me, and, um, in particular Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me…… I… I’m enjoying myself here…… Kotoko: ……hmm. It’s just a theory I have right now, but I get the feeling the outcome of Milgram’s judgements are having some influence on our mental state. Well, I only noticed because I happened to be last up though. Good for you, then. This must mean that you’re fine. ……I’ll accept those birthday wishes.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but for now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate. Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself. Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……! [TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.] Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

"I said before that I’m willing to follow your judgement, but you were soft on them. There’s some more that I wouldn’t have forgiven. If only I was the guard instead. Well, no use in complaining." X

Okay, fine that all looks sort of bad when framed in that light- and laid out in that way. All together.

But "I" personally don't interpret it as bad thing. Everyone in Milgram is a murderer. She has good reason to be on guard and keep to herself. Kotoko wasn't attacking innocent people she was killing criminals.

People who were skirting around the system, evading the law, and offending repeatedly. Getting rid of those sorts of people would make society better overall.

I mean child kidnapers and frauds cause damage to-

Okay, now you're just poking fun at Kotoko enjoyers.

Okay yeah, I am slightly but I'm also recommending you watch or read Death Note too just to better appreciate this joke. Sorry, sorry for that one, it really was just a low hanging fruit and far too good to pass up.

I can't lie I'm having a great and terrifying time writing this up right now. I only thought it'd be like ha, ha look at all these similarities between Kotoko's mindset and fascism isn't that odd.

Then I stumbled upon the fact that the person she directly quotes from memory in her first trial interrogation is a recorded supporter of World War 2. That's sort of really terrifying not going to lie. However, that just shows how much Kotoko has always been like this. To an extent this whole post has been writing itself because this is just a as soon as you see it you can't unsee it thing.

I really didn't think I'd find this much. I thought I'd go in an be like hm maybe I'm reading too much into this and there would be very little information within Milgram that supported this framing. However, there's weirdly a lot of stuff that does. Just all the way down this is how she is. Some have to admit that sometimes Kotoko's defense of her actions being we're stopping the bad guys is weirdly comparable to Light Yagami.

I mean no one has to but come on? It's kind of funny- It's at least funnier than the scary implications of her mindset and what that mindset garnering over sixty-percent support from people says about society as a whole. Let me tell you the Death Note comparison is certainly a lot funnier than that. Because the second thing is actually an issue that needs to be interrogated further.

Still, even after all this one could easily say despite everything, I haven't concretely stated why I believe Kotoko is a fascist. That all of this is just my subjective interpretation of the information provided mixed with a bunch of really weird coincidences.

However, that's the point of fascism, it's not meant to be recognizable until it is too late. It's fluid, flexible, ever changing and evolving. It changes to fit the environment, the goals of the party involved, and the people they wish to bring into the cause or exclude.

It doesn't always have the same tells in every instance it occurs. So, people can get tripped up by the deviations or even agree with the goal being strived for. However, it does have tells and Kotoko's behavior aligns with a lot of them.

Remember that second video which listed the core fundamental ideas that all fascist movements may build themselves from. Kotoko's behavior aligns with so many of them that again I just have to recommend you watch it but I will list the ones that stood out to me,

"4. Disagreement is Treason Because of this faith in tradition, which is inherently syncretic and self-contradictory and therefore can be easily deconstructed by an analytical mind. People defending that tradition hate when you point out its flaws." "5. Fear of Difference Disagreement is a sign of diversity of thought. Ur-fascism hates diversity. Because it can only operate through consensus. By force, if necessary. So, it always makes an appeal against the intruders. Who are these intruders? Honestly, it's entirely arbitrary. Anyone who doesn't fit."

"You'd understand, if you're a human."

Q.14 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?

Kotoko: Mikoto. He’s loud and bothersome.

20/07/01 Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings? Kotoko: No. Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo! Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

Kotoko has shown that she disliked Mikoto from the start. Even refusing to wish him happy birthday before his trial even came up until he kicked up a fuss about it.

20/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Mikoto: ■■…… gh…… Gah…… ■■…… aaa…… nh…… ■…… ■■■■■……!! Kotoko: …………hm. Have you finally calmed down? Kayano Mikoto. ………… So, you want me to wish you a happy birthday? I don’t really mind, but is that really something for you to be saying to me? Mikoto: You’re the last person I need to have the whole group. If there was just one person left it’d be bugging me all night and I’d never get to sleep, right? At times like this you have to abandon your pride and just say something, right~? Kotoko: Ok, here you go. Happy birthday. ……if this is what will help you sleep soundly. Mikoto: Oh, thanks! Now I don’t need to worry~

Literally everyone told him happy birthday but her. They are in a panopticon. It's incredibly difficult for her to have not known it was his birthday if everyone had gone up to wish him happy birthday already. She just chose not to say. I don't know why she dislikes Mikoto specifically, but she does.

Even going as far to say taking care of him isn't just Milgram or Es' choice but her own as well. We've also gone over that Kotoko has a group. So, this is further illustrating that she's considered Mikoto's existence and intrusion in that group since before he was voted Guilty.

"7. Obsession with the Plot To ease this frustration, Ur-Fascism reminds the frustrated class that they are united by the virtue of having come from the same place. And what better way to unite than by forming a common enemy. The nation must always be under seige. There's always some shadowy force working from the inside and the outside to fundamentally change our way of life. Who is this force? Again it's arbitrary but usually it's some kind of foreigner."

Harrow "I can't forgive the evil hurting the weak." - "Whose fault is it? This is getting ridiculous. What should the punishment be? Want to find. I feel like I'm going crazy after straining my nerves. The person that can't be saved is now understanding the abnormality." - "It's ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it- What should I hope for? Good night. 'HARROW, HARROW'. Laugh and I can get to like myself."

"8. The enemy is strong & weak. The populace is taught two mutually exclusive ideas. One that the enemy is humiliating us through their wealth and power. Two, that they will easily be crushed by our wealth and power. Through this dichotomy the enemy is both strong enough to pose a threat but weak enough to defeat. Dangerous but impotent."

This is displayed through Harrow by having the criminals Kotoko attacks be strong enough to evade regular law enforcement or take advantage of the existing flawed system. Yet, weak enough to be taken care of through Kotoko's methods.

Something put on full display by having Kotoko triumph over this criminal that the police couldn't even catch in the end on top of showing her deliver justice to the bad guys repeatedly. Not just once overall.

"9. Life is Live for Struggle The belief that there will always be an enemy. So, life is always understood as permanent warfare. There is always a conflict, always a new battle. Therefore, pacifism is working for the enemy."

The ultimate message from Harrow is that the system we have now is flawed and it's up to the people, the real humans, to fix it. By any means. Through taking it into one's own hands if one needs to.

Q.04 When did you start learning martial arts?

Kotoko: When I was in primary school, I think? Without enough power, justice won’t be upheld.

Q.05 What do you do to pass time in the prison?

Kotoko: Training and meditation.

Q.12 What is your motto?

Kotoko: “There’s no other way that could let us live, so I walk this path.” [TN: Quote from Mushanokouji Saneatsu.]

Q.15 Which is more important, the objective or the means?

Kotoko: Objective. Does that not go without saying?

Q.17 Tell me what the merit is in working with you.

Kotoko: I will act according to your will. I can also act as your guard. Have you forgotten that you were about to die before?

"10. Contempt for the Weak Not just physically weak or morally weak this is a form of mass elitism. Everyone in the nation looks down on the other nations of the world. Everyone in the party looks down on everyone not in the party. Within the hierarchy of the party, everyone is taught to look down on their inferiors. And the leader looks with contempt on everyone because their authority is based on the weakness of the masses. After all, if they weren't weak, they would not need a leader."

Q.20 What do you consider “evil”?

Kotoko: The persecution of the weak and innocent.

"Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

If these people were not weak, they would not need to be protected.

Q.14 Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?

Kotoko: Mikoto. He’s loud and bothersome.

"Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen."

"11. The Cult of Death or Everyone Can be a Hero The hero, in myth, is an exceptional figure who through struggle and sacrifice makes society better. In Ur-facism everyone is taught to be exceptional and of course the ultimate act of a hero is sacrifice. The belief that through glorious death we can reach transcendental happiness. In Eco's words, 'The UR-Fascist Hero is impatient to die. In their impatience, they more frequently send other people to their deaths."

Harrow

"Every time death comes the soul moves forward." - "Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion?" - "Newly born “HARROW HARROW”. It’s ok to dislike, right?" - "Laugh and I can get to like myself."

Deep Cover

"So, I became your fang. I've chosen the awaited hero. I've engraved the answer. Why? Why stop me? Don't stop."

"12. Machismo This is the principle of permanent war and suicidal heroism brought into sexuality. Masculine sexual dominance is valued, and everything else, from femininity, to submissiveness, to chastity, to homosexuality- To anything outside of the ideal of dominant masculinity is shunned."

Q.10 What do you think of the term “femininity”?

Kotoko: A means. It’s something you can choose freely depending on the scene, not something you have to adhere to.

"13. Selective Populism Ur-Fascism relies on the people to function. But unlike in democracy, which works for individual rights, where individuals impact political decisions through the quantitative voting process Ur-facism treats the people as a qualitative function. As monolithic voice of the common will. Since no group is a monolith, and every populace is made up of a diverse number of voices, and as mentioned before facism needs consensus and abhors diversity- the leader serves as the sole interpreter of this will. So, the people only exist to serve as a rhetorical device commonly used to undermine democratic institutions that for one reason or another no longer represent the will of The People. And this, combined with the aforementioned, racism and xenophobia, serves to narrow the definition of who The People are. Eco speculates that in the future a TV or internet populism could also serve this function."

"The leader serves as the sole interpreter of this will. So, the people only exist to serve as a rhetorical device."

"I can’t forgive the evil hurting the weak. It’s unforgivable, I won’t allow it, I sweared." - "From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

"Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen."

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time.

Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you.

Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you're to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Deep Cover

"Don't stop! I need a good reason to give justice! Give me my next purpose!"

Kotoko constantly uses the people around her and their struggles as an excuse for her behavior. Despite admitting she's never had to face any of the persecution or judgment she's more than happy to hand down to others.

Q.18 Have you ever personally been persecuted in the past?

Kotoko: I haven’t. But are you trying to say that if you haven’t had those experiences you can’t hate evildoers?

Now she's just using her relation to Es and their apparent agreement to justify her current behavior. Even if as Kazui pointed out attacking the prisoners because of their verdicts is not part of Milgram's system and she didn't even bother to ask what Es wanted her to do in their agreement.

She just made up these terms stating she'd take being voted Innocent as confirmation that Es wanted to work with her. Regardless of if she was voted innocent due to some other reason entirely or not. So far, all the prisoners' interrogations have highlighted that they aren't entirely aware of why Es made the verdict they did but they have some speculations based off the voices they'd been hearing and how they interpreted those.

So, she's truly just working off of her own interpretation of Es' and the audience's judgement.

Yeah, that's all I've really been able to gather on this idea and my thoughts on it. I don't know how comprehensive this will come off as and it may have spelling errors, but I hope people like it and use it to interrogate Kotoko's behavior can come off from a different angle. Because it's not as simple as a good deal of people have made it out to be.

[genericpuff]

I just wanna to quick add something about the hole Tori and Persephone situation, I feel Persephone’s arc was meant to be stop being a push over and to fight in order to get respect from others, even if you have to be mean to get set respect.

But…it fails when it comes to the Tori’s reunion scene, as he only spoke for what Hades did to Alex, and it was mostly Hades’ fault she got mistreated by her classmates, despite not minding the photo as it really didn’t even affected her to begin with.

If she was rude as revenge for what people like Minthe, Thethis or Thanatos did to her, it made sense considering what happened in Tower 4 and with Demeter in the trial, but Tori?…. She knew why he was afraid of her, she understood his point of view (yes bad talking someone is wrong and in some cases it can leave to trauma) but she didn’t gave him a chance to apologize after Alex got his eye back or to talk to him once she became the Queen of the Underworld and make peace with her.

I mean, if this was how the pilot people treated her in her school then the story would be different, there her bullying was implied to be nastier than what we got on Webtoon, in the woman’s bathroom it was written "Persephone goddess of the sluts”.

Even compared to everything she experienced in the past, considering the Village incident it just weird why she doesn’t choice to move on with Tori, and say to herself, yes he was a jackass to me but I see where he was coming from, Hades fuck off that time and it’s fine I’m now Queen he can thing whatever the hell he wants, it won’t affect me anymore.

That's an interesting take, I've also seen people claim that it was due to her still being "shook" from seeing the Apollo poster.

But neither of those are ever an excuse to abuse people.

I'd be fine if this was meant to be some point of character development for Persephone, like if maybe Daphne called her out on it like "hey, pal, are you okay? You kinda went overboard there" or something. Or if maybe it went the other way and Persephone was meant to be the villain in her own story.

But we don't get that.

Instead, we get a scene that obviously implies Persephone is now rich due to the account Hades has opened for her, so she's essentially been rewarded for doing absolutely nothing - compared to Tori, who's been indirectly affected by Persephone's actions (through Alex) and now works in an industry that's RUN by Hades (the banks) and is being harassed by his 'future wife'. She didn't 'fight back' here, she deliberately punched down on someone who's now in a lower position of power than her and she knows it.

She's hypocritically emulating the exact same behavior she chastised Hades for back in S1.

So to break it all down, instead of getting an empowering 'revenge' scene like in Pretty Woman where a woman of lower social status fights back against the system that rejected her, we get Persephone, in a much higher position of power than Tori, using her influence to be a dick towards him, and then pretty much gets rewarded for it in the scene afterwards where she gets a shitload of money, buys an apartment, and eats Chinese takeout with Hades. What a picture perfect happy ending we have here 😒

I agree also when it comes to the pilot content, there was SO MUCH MORE done to show how Persephone's life was being affected by the tabloid.

But in the Originals version, a couple people gossip/refuse to be friends with her (for GOOD REASON BECAUSE ONE OF THEM HAS ALREADY BEEN SERIOUSLY HARMED BY THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD ON HER BEHALF) and that's about it. She also waves it off super casually in front of Hades.

So why is she still so fucking salty about it 10 years later? ESPECIALLY after all that she's been through, this is the hill she chooses to die on?

Honestly, I agree with Hades here.

Where is her sense of wrath? Why does RS keep flip flopping between Persephone being a 'soft' valley girl with limitless patience and empathy vs. Persephone being a wrathful goddess who's willing to throw hands with anyone? And why is it her dumbass beef with Tori that brings out the latter? There's just a complete lack of consistency in her character or commitment to her being one or the other, so it means when we do see Persephone acting 'wrathful', it 1.) comes out of nowhere, and 2.) is being used for shit that isn't even worth being a dick over, like harassing a bank worker. Persephone isn't being 'wrathful', she's acting petty and childish.

And it's so obvious that if this was intended to be a moment of weakness for Persephone, it HASN'T come across that way at ALL to the main readerbase. I seriously can't even go into the comment sections on those episodes because all I see are people rooting for Persephone, saying how Tori "deserved" what he got, how Persephone is such a "boss" for doing what she did. While I do blame the readers for being so horrible in this regard, I also blame Rachel for clearly not defining her intentions with that scene - which leads me to believe that that WAS the intention, to make Persephone look like a 'badass' through abusing an employee that she went to school with for a couple weeks once ten years ago. Rachel hasn't done any work to show the contrary, so that's what we've been left with.

The good news is, we don't even have to speculate on that much. RS answered that question herself outside of the comic in the official FastPass FB group.

There you have it. In which Rachel displays the fullest extent of her empathy and emotional maturity - absolute cringe.

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

EIGHTEEN - E.M

PART 1; PISS OFF YOUR PARENTS

Warnings: mentions of selling drugs, allusions to sex, ptsd, slight bullying

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Wheeler!Fem!reader

Summary: it's the last day of school before spring break and all you want to do is spend this break with your boyfriend. That is until the day leads to a gruesome end for one of your friends.

Wordcount: 2.3k

You waited in the back, watching the audience through the curtains, hoping that Eddie had turned up for today's pep rally. You knew he didn't like them but had asked if he could come, this was the furthest the basketball team had made it in years. 

You smiled when you saw him lingering in the back, dark denim jacket and large hair standing out in the crowd. You walked back with Chrissy who was talking to some other cheerleaders, ready to go on stage. 

You performed the routine, a wide fake grin in your face the entire time. You just smiled at Eddie in the crowd, glad that he had turned up for you. 

Once you finished the crowd applauded and you went and sat down in the front, keeping that peppy spirit alive. You cheered as the basketball team came out, smiling at your friend Lucas as he ran out behind the others. 

"First off I'd like to thank each and everyone one of you for being here. I'd also like to give a special shout out to the prettiest fans of all time, the Tiger cheer squad. Chrissy, I love you babe," Jason said before going on to his speech about how upsetting all the deaths had been. 

Your smile fell and the memories all began flashing. Like at Steve's house party when Barb had gone missing, or watching Bob get ripped apart, or Billy as the mind flayer killed him. 

They'd never know what you went through with all of it, that you knew what had happened to all of these people and the feeling made you sick to your stomach. 

"Tomight, we're gonna bring back the championship trophy!" He yelled out, the crowd cheering. 

You jumped back into the peppy spirit you needed, putting a smile on your face. You didn't care about the championship today, you just cared that tomorrow would be spring break and you could spend the whole time with your boyfriend. 

After the tediously long pep rally, you rushed outside, looking around for Eddie. He was standing on the other side of the courtyard and you rushed over. 

You ran out, straight into your boyfriend's arms and he picked you up, spinning you around slightly with a smile. 

Before you he never liked the idea of showing off girls in public, simply because he had never found the right girl. But now, as he looked at you, he knew that he wanted the whole world to know that he was so madly in love with you and you cared about him just as much. 

"I didn't know if you were gonna come," you said once he let you down, kissing you. 

He chuckled, "You know I couldn't miss an opportunity to see my pretty girlfriend in that stunning little outfit," he said, hands roaming to your ass and you let out a yelp at his cheeky move. 

"Munson, my brothers just over there," you stated, looking over his shoulder to see the three boys pulling disgusted faces at the display of affection. 

Eddke just hummed, "He doesn't care, I'm sure he's heard us before," he said, a dark gleam in his eyes as he looked down at you. 

You pulled away, hitting his chest lightly, "I've gotta go to my first lesson Eddie, okay, you gotta let me go," you tried to reason with him but he just wrapped his arm around your shoulders, beginning to walk to class. 

"Can't believe I have fallen for a girl who goes to class on time, leaves at the end of a cul-de-sac and has aspirations," he said with a chuckle, the two walking through the halls. 

People stared at them the whole time but they were used to it by now, one of the most popular girls in school dating the self proclaimed school freak wasn't what anyone had ever expected. 

You could spot some of the girls from the cheerleading team laughing at the two of you but you tried to shake it off, knowing they weren't your real friends and that once you graduated, you didn't have to see any of them again. 

He stopped in front of Miss Clicks class, Robin waiting at the door for you, "Why don't you just skip babe," he asked, forehead pressed against hers. 

"Get off me Munson," you said jokingly, pushing him away, "I've got lessons to go to and if you want to graduate this year, you should go to your lessons too," 

He groaned, walking away, hand on his heart, "You wound me princess, you are my achilles heel and I am perished," he said before vanishing round the corner, leaving you with a wide grin on your face. 

"Come on," Robin said and you chuckled, the two of you walking into the class.

At lunch, you sat in the cafeteria with Chrissy, noticing she was a little bit weird, "Hey, you okay?" You asked, frowning at her weird disposition. 

She nodded, "Yeah, yeah," she said, continuing to poke her food around the plate with her fork. 

They were all talking about the big game tonight but you couldn't stop looking over at your boyfriend as he joked around with your friends. You wished you had the nerves to go and sit with him for once, to not have to worry about the pressures of high school. 

You watched as Eddie hopped up, getting onto the table, "But as long as you're into band, or science or parties, or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets," he yelled out. 

The table with all the basketball players looked up at him, booing his speech. You just smiled, amazed at how he had the courage to stand up to everyone else. 

"You want something freak," Jason asked

"Sit down Jason," you said, rolling your eyes as you looked down at your food. 

"It's forced conformity, this what's killing the kids," he exclaimed, sitting back down at his table as his friends chuckled. 

"God, I don't know how you date such a freak," Myra, one of the girls from the cheerleading squad, said, giving you a dirty look as she continued to eat her lunch. 

"He's probably a freak in the sheets too if you know what I mean," one of the other cheerleaders, Elyssa, said. The whole group chuckled, looking over at you for answers.

Sure, they knew some details about your relationship with Eddie but you weren't one to gossip about things so private like that. 

"Come on guys, leave it alone," you said, eyes trailing over to Eddies. His eyes met yours and almost telepathically, you could tell that he was asking if you were okay. You nodded, a soft smile on his face. 

He got back up again in the dramatic fashion you were used to and he began parading around, standing in the middle of the rows. 

"If I don't blow this final, I'm gonna walk that stage next month, I'm gonna look principal Higgins dead in the eyes. I'm gonna flip him the bird, kiss my girlfriend in front of the whole school, I'm gonna snatch that diploma and I'm gonna run like hell outta here," he announced, his voice giddy. 

He was sure this year that he was going to graduate, he couldn't stay at high school for another year whilst his girlfriend goes to college and has a life without him. 

"Didn't you say that last year, and the year before?" Jeff questioned, a smirk on his face. 

"Yeah, well now I've got my motivation. My pretty girlfriend and I are gonna graduate and I'm taking her on a road trip wherever the hell she wants,"

You smiled up at him as he stood at the table, he held his hand out and you chuckled, grabbing it and allowing him to pull you up. He spun you around once, a blush spreading over your face at the action, "This wonderful girl is the only reason why I'm gonna graduate this year,"

"Thanks princess," he whispered before letting you sit back down, a giddy smile on your face and a firm red blush on your cheeks. 

"Well it's not like you actually study with my sister is it?" Mike questioned, scrunching his face up in disgust 

Eddie raised his eyebrows, a smirk on his face. Dustin faked a gag as he realised what they were actually doing instead of studying. Gareth and Jeff applauded their friends, laughing at his antics. 

"This year is my year, I can feel it. '86 baby," he announced, his voice echoing through the cafeteria. 

Just after school had ended and before the championship game, you were walking through the halls, ready to warm up for the cheerleading routine that you'd be performing. 

"Hey," you heard a voice call your name and turned to see Eddie standing nearby. You walked over, leaning against the wall. 

"What's up?" 

He took a deep breath, almost wondering what to say, "I was in the woods just now, with Chrissy Cunningham and-" he started. 

"Wait? You were in the woods? With Chrissy Cunningham? My best friend Chrissy Cunningham?" You questioned, unsure of where this was going. 

"You gonna let me speak princess?" He questioned before continuing with his story, "And she wanted to buy weed off of me. I sold it to her and then she asked if I had any of the good stuff so of course I said yes. Is she okay?"

You smiled at his consideration for your friend and honestly, you weren't sure what was going on with her. Now it explained why she was acting weird at lunch. 

"Thanks for telling me Ed, I'll check up on her later," you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he walked you to the hall. 

They stopped outside of the room where he played D&D with the boys. 

"Have fun at your game, I'll see you tomorrow for a week of unadulterated fun," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at the suggestion. 

You chuckled, "Thanks, hope your campaign goes well," you said before skipping off to the hall, cheerleading skirt riding up as you walked away. 

You waited behind the wings, listening to the show. You hadn't had a time to talk to Chrissy yet but you knew you had to, there was something clearly wrong and as her friend, you had to see if she was okay. 

"Singing for us tonight we have a very special guest, from Nashville, our very own Tammy Thompson," Higgins announced. 

You chuckled in the back, watching through the curtains. You agree with what Steve had said last year in the bathrooms after the whole Russian incident, she sounded like a muppet. 

"Why are you laughing Wheeler, that's my sister," Myra stated, eyes narrowing narrowing you. 

You just chuckled, turning to look at her, "Your sister sings like a muppet on crack," you stated before turning around, ready to go out after the awful singing finished. 

The whole time throughout the halftime cheerleading performance, all you could think about was how Eddie's campaign was going, you knew how excited he had been to get this final one ready. You were hoping you would've been able to go but you had to sit here and cheer every time a point was scored. 

After a long and very tedious game, 

You congratulated Lucas for scoring the last point before beginning to walk to your car, just wanting to go to sleep after the exhausting day you'd had. That was until you were cornered by the basketball team led by Jason Carver. 

"Where's the freak frankenstein Eddie huh, he didn't come to your game?" Jason asked as he walked past you as you headed towards your car. 

"Piss off Jason," you said, trying to ignore him. 

"You're not coming to the party, bride of frankenstein?" One of his other friends asked and you just rolled your eyes at the nickname. 

"I've got other plans," you stated before turning around, narrowing your eyes at Jason, "Have you seen Chrissy?"

"She went to get changed first," He said and even though you thought it was a bit odd you let it go, walking back to your car and driving home.

You called Eddie's House but nobody answered so you left a voicemail, "Hey, it's Y/N, just wanted to let you know the game is done, wanted to check up on your campaign. Call me back when you get this, bye," 

What you didn't know was that your entire life was going to change the next morning when you get a call from someone you were hoping never to get a call from.  

Series Masterlist Part 2

A/N, I didn't love the way I ended it, it felt a bit rushed but I'm super excited to write the next chapter. I will probably finish my Rooster x OC series first and then focus on this.

Taglist:

If you want to be added just message me, send me an ask or comment, I don't mind

[theiauwu]

Hi! Fellow Taurus here!💛 May I request some headcanons please? If not that's totes cool!

I'll be blunt, my sister is a bully and has been extra terrible lately, so can the headcanons be about how Kirishima, Shigiraki and Aizawa react to their s/o having an evil sister? Also, I'de prefer if Aizawa was written as the s/o's teacher instead of their boyfriend, I think it would be interesting to see what he would do in that position😄

Thank You💛

A/N: Of course you can!! Thank you so much for the request and I'm so sorry about your sister :( Hope this helps and hope you enjoy it

Pairing: Kirishima Eijiro x reader, Shigaraki Tomura x reader, Aizawa Shota x reader *platonic*

Word Count: 908

Genre: headcannon

Content Warning: bullying, gn! reader

BNHA Characters reacting to Evil Sister

Kirishima Eijiro

When Kirishima found out from his S/O about their evil sister, he definitely thought it was super unmanly for her to bully their own sibling, even more so when it’s his lover

Has considered to go to S/O’s house to confront the sister but they convinced him not to and brushed it off as no big deal

He was stubborn but relented seeing as it wasn’t his place to interfere with family affairs especially seeing how much they didn’t want him to pry into the matter

The issue was left in the back of his mind for a while, not forgotten as he was still concerned about his pebble’s wellbeing, until he went joined in on a family dinner a few weeks later

Seeing the sister’s behaviour towards his lover had him fuming internally, his emotions took over his quirk for a little which left the chopsticks in his hand breaking in half from the pressure

The sister hearing the snap of the chopsticks turned her attention towards him and the glare of his gaze intimidated her which made her drop the mean attitude for a while until it resurfaced later on after dinner

Kirishima was chatting with your parents when from the corner of his eye, he spots the sister whispering harshly into his S/O’s ear while tugging on their hair

Seeing the tears threatening to escape their eyes had him in rage, he was not about to let that slide

Quickly abandoning his conversation with the parents, he stomps up to the sisters and gently but firmly pulls his lover into his arms where they curled into

Glowering at the sister, he gave her a stern talking to about never to bully his S/O ever again and if she ever did, he would definitely not sit by and let it happen with him around

A polite threat but a threat nonetheless

He may be a hero at heart but he believes that what kind of a hero would he be if he couldn’t even protect the one he loves

Shigaraki Tomura

Unlike Kirishima who took a more cautious and respectful approach, from the moment he found out about the bullying, he’s thinking of sending death threats, plotting the sister’s murder…etc

If his S/O tried to calm him down and pass it off as no big deal, trust me when I say it would not work, he will without a doubt see through the bullshit and call them out on it

Remembering his childhood experience from his father, his rage only amplifies at the thought of someone he loves being treated in a similar hostile manner

He may not be affectionate or shows his love a lot but he undoubtedly cares for his lover and what better way to show it than to return the hurt the sister gave you tenfold

The sister better pray for her life because from the moment this villain finds out about the bullying, her life will literally be in danger

His initial plans for the sister without a doubt will include murder, not by anyone else’s hand but his, he imagines how much joy he will receive watching as the life of the evil sister fade away in their eyes

Safe to say it took a long long long while for his killer intent to die down, even with his S/O’s console

He still wants kill the sister but settled for sending her death threats, in excruciating detail on how he will carry out her murder if she ever hurts S/O ever again and if she approaches hero’s for help, he will make sure she dies that very night

Even then, why would the hero’s help her

She’s a villain after all, just like him

Needless to say, if the S/O’s sister values her life, the bullying would cease immediately after the death threats were received

Aizawa Shota

This is definitely a tricky one, considering that he is a teacher and has no power outside of school grounds regarding his students, especially about their personal lives

However, seeing his student’s mental health plummeting as days go by, he believes that as a teacher he feels that he has a right to check up on you

He knows about the bullying situation, he overheard some of the conversations from Y/N to their friends but feigned ignorance when asking about your wellbeing

However if you try to dodge the question or deny everything, he will call you out, he understands that as a teacher he has no business prying into your family life

But as a teacher who cares about you, he wants to help you

After some careful consideration, he decided on informing your parents about your sister’s behaviour and how it has affected your health

Though believing that this may not be enough, Aizawa sensei will review your training and upgrade it in hopes that you may be able to apply your lesson to fend off your sister

Of course violence isn’t always the answer which is why he will also try to give you some advice and offer his help whenever you need it

He is approaching the situation as carefully as possible without crossing any boundaries but if push comes to shove and your sister doesn’t back off

He will without a doubt use his position as a teacher to visit your house to talk to your parents in person and give your sister a stern unwavering gaze

[f0linasahl0]

you know i have too many thoughts but i can't seem to place them well enough to make a single post.

like i'm just thinking about (multi fandom thoughts god save me):

-dustin and steve's friendship and how genuine it is. same with robin and steve. idk i think steve is just a good guy when around good people.

-thinking about how dustin was wearing rings in a stranger things teaser im literally going to break down

-thinking about how tyler's singing voice changes through each album. like idk how to explain it other than that. it's just good

-thinking about how draco malfoy deserved more than what he got. he deserved a better family. a chance at being an actual kid rather than caring about his family's image

-thinking about spencer reid. just spencer reid. loml

-there's so many songs i'd be so excited to hear on the clancy world tour. so many songs i'd break down to. so many songs that if they skip it i'd actually be heartbroken.

-thinking about how penelope garcia held that fucking team together shut up. she was the glue that held the bau together argue with the wall.

-still thinking about how fucking broken tyler looked through the livestream experience. how clancy was a puppet for the bishops through SAI. imagine how horrifyingly humiliating that would be. a man who tried so hard to fight something like that just to be the poster boy for it.

-still wondering what jenna and debby's roles are. like sure that's not a big thing but i care about it i wanna know where they are in the lore. like even if it's not meant to be something big id like to know

-i think i ended up liking draco malfoy as much as i do is because looking past the little boy who's a bully, look at his family bro. he had no choice in what he could be. his character is more complex than initially thought

-harry potter, as much as he deserved to be, was so whiny some times 💀. ron is just whiny in the later books. like come on you think this kid who's gone through hell wants to keep going through hell for some money?? ronald come on calm your tits and talk to him. just that whole fight in goblet of fire could've been avoided if he just talked to his friend. like you fucking think he wanted that ronald?? calm down.

-there's a few characters that if they die in s5 of stranger things im literally going to break down. specifically dustin, steve, and robin. if they die--dude like absolutely not

-peter parker you deserve the entire world you deserve everything. all the peter parker's in the marvel cinematic universe and marvel comic universe. literally i--UGH

-there's a few twenty one pilots songs that while i listen to them i specifically remember the music video and i think that's really funny. to note, some of them are stressed out, lane boy, somewhat fairly local, house of gold, guns for hands, i just remember the livestream ones for shy away and choker, there's so many but like--there's parts that remind me of the mv

-i don't think i ever hated SAI i just distanced from twenty one pilots in 2021 (which honestly was the worst time for me to do so but here we are) and thinking i disliked SAI was better than turning away from the band that probably saved my life from further depression and instead turning to dumbass minecraft youtubers that ended up just being awful awful people. i hate that. i hate that i was so awestruck by these mcyts that i didn't think about how bad they could've been. SAI is a good album i just never got into it like i am now and that makes me feel so sad. i don't want to be one of those "oh you just came back because the lore said this album was...blah blah blah" like okay thanks for the words and shit i don't really care let me LIVE

.....

anyway those are some various thoughts. idk what else to put anymore so enjoy this thought dump i guess 🤷

this is what i mean by multifandom i like too many things 💀

[kookie-doughs]

Y/N L/N AND THE HALFBLOODS: Voyage

Percy Jackson X Reader

Another year passed and now they're back as the camp needs them.

Chapter 1: They Ate Y/N

My day started normal. Or as normal as it ever gets at Meriwether College Prep.

See, it's this "progressive" school in downtown Manhattan, which means we sit on beanbag chairs instead of at desks, and we don't get grades, and the teachers wear jeans and rock concert T-shirts to work.

That's all cool with me. I mean, I'm ADHD and dyslexic, like most half-bloods, so I'd never done that great in regular schools even before they kicked me out. The only bad thing about Meriwether was that the teachers always looked on the bright side of things, and the kids weren't always... well, bright.

Take my first class today: English. The whole middle school had read this book called Lord of the Flies, where all these kids get marooned on an island and go psycho. So for our final exam, our teachers sent us into the break yard to spend an hour with no adult supervision to see what would happen. What happened was a massive wedgie contest between the seventh and eighth graders, two pebble fights, and a full-tackle basketball game. The school bully, Matt Sloan, led most of those activities.

Sloan wasn't big or strong, but he acted like he was. He had eyes like a pit bull, and shaggy black hair, and he always dressed in expensive but sloppy clothes, like he wanted everybody to see how little he cared about his family's money. One of his front teeth was chipped from the time he'd taken his daddy's Porsche for a joyride and run into a PLEASE SLOW DOWN FOR CHILDREN sign.

Anyway, Sloan was giving everybody wedgies until he made the mistake of trying it on my friend Tyson.

Tyson was the only homeless kid at Meriwether College Prep. As near as my mom and I could figure, he'd been abandoned by his parents when he was very young, probably because he was so... different. He was six-foot-three and built like the Abominable Snowman, but he cried a lot and was scared of just about everything, including his own reflection. His face was kind of misshapen and brutal-looking. I couldn't tell you what color his eyes were, because I could never make myself look higher than his crooked teeth. His voice was deep, but he talked funny, like a much younger kid—I guess because he'd never gone to school before coming to Meriwether. He wore tattered jeans, grimy size-twenty sneakers, and a plaid flannel shirt with holes in it. He smelled like a New York City alleyway, because that's where he lived, in a cardboard refrigerator box off 72nd Street.

The other was Y/N L/N another friend that was with me through out this journey of being a half-blood. The photo was taken somewhere in a familiar forest, while her clothes that seemed for hiking. I saw a total of three bags behind her and her dog, D/N, curled up on one,  I'm pretty sure I could see a familiar sword on D/N's side. She had a knife on her waist and a headband pulling her hair back. This was the only mail I got from her since she went to venture on her search for his Olympian parent who hadn't claimed her even through out our last quest. At the back it said her search was going well and she was doing great.

Meriwether Prep had adopted him as a community service project so all the students could feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, most of them couldn't stand Tyson. Once they discovered he was a big softie, despite his massive strength and his scary looks, they made themselves feel good by picking on him. I was pretty much his only friend, which meant he was my only friend.

My mom had complained to the school a million times that they weren't doing enough to help him. She'd called social services, but nothing ever seemed to happen. The social workers claimed Tyson didn't exist. They swore up and down that they'd visited the alley we described and couldn't find him, though how you miss a giant kid living in a refrigerator box, I don't know.

Anyway, Matt Sloan snuck up behind him and tried to give him a wedgie, and Tyson panicked. He swatted Sloan away a little too hard. Sloan flew fifteen feet and got tangled in the little kids' tire swing.

"You freak!" Sloan yelled. "Why don't you go back to your cardboard box!"

Tyson started sobbing. He sat down on the jungle gym so hard he bent the bar, and buried his head in his hands.

"Take it back, Sloan!" I shouted.

Sloan just sneered at me. "Why do you even bother, Jackson? You might have friends if you weren't always sticking up for that freak."

I balled my fists. I hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt. "He's not a freak. He's just..."

I tried to think of the right thing to say, but Sloan wasn't listening. He and his big ugly friends were too busy laughing. I wondered if it were my imagination, or if Sloan had more goons hanging around him than usual. I was used to seeing him with two or three, but today he had like, half a dozen more, and I was pretty sure I'd never seen them before.

"Just wait till PE, Jackson," Sloan called. "You are so dead."

When first period ended, our English teacher, Mr. de Milo, came outside to inspect the carnage. He pronounced that we'd understood Lord of the Flies perfectly. We all passed his course, and we should never, never grow up to be violent people. Matt Sloan nodded earnestly, then gave me a chip-toothed grin.

I had to promise to buy Tyson an extra peanut butter sandwich at lunch to get him to stop sobbing.

"I... I am a freak?" he asked me.

"No," I promised, gritting my teeth. "Matt Sloan is the freak."

Tyson sniffled. "You are a good friend. Miss you next year if... if I can't..."

His voice trembled. I realized he didn't know if he'd be invited back next year for the community service project. I wondered if the headmaster had even bothered talking to him about it.

"Don't worry, big guy," I managed. "Everything's going to be fine."

Tyson gave me such a grateful look I felt like a big liar. How could I promise a kid like him that anything would be fine?

Our next exam was science. Mrs. Tesla told us that we had to mix chemicals until we succeeded in making something explode, Tyson was my lab partner. His hands were way too big for the tiny vials we were supposed to use. He accidentally knocked a tray of chemicals off the counter and made an orange mushroom cloud in the trash can.

After Mrs. Tesla evacuated the lab and called the hazardous waste removal squad, she praised Tyson and me for being natural chemists. We were the first ones who'd ever aced her exam in under thirty seconds.

I was glad the morning went fast, because it kept me from thinking too much about my problems. I couldn't stand the idea that something might be wrong at camp. Even worse, I couldn't shake the memory of my bad dream. I had a terrible feeling that Grover was in danger.

In social studies, while we were drawing latitude/longitude maps, I opened my notebook and stared at the photos inside—my friend Annabeth on vacation in Washington, D.C. She was wearing jeans and a denim jacket over her orange Camp Half-Blood T-shirt. Her blond hair was pulled back in a bandanna. She was standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial with her arms crossed, looking extremely pleased with herself, like she'd personally designed the place. See, Annabeth wants to be an architect when she grows up, so she's always visiting famous monuments and stuff. She's weird that way.

The last photo was of both of them. Annabeth sent it to me when she happen to see Y/N when she was with her father. Y/N looked like she had the same clothes from the photo she sent. What was confusing was she didn't have a single bag nor a dog in the photo. Annabeth said something about their conversation and how Y/N still didn't have an idea about her parent. She'd e-mailed me the picture after spring break, and every once in a while I'd look at it just to remind myself they were real and Camp Half-Blood hadn't just been my imagination.

I wished Y/N and Annabeth were here. They'd know what to make of my dream.

I was about to close my notebook when Matt Sloan reached over and ripped a photo out of the rings. It was the one with Y/N.

"Hey!" I protested.

Sloan checked out the picture and his eyes got wide. "No way, Jackson. Who is that? She is not your—"

"Give it back!" My ears felt hot.

Sloan handed the photo to his ugly buddies, who snickered and started ripping it up to make spit wads. They were new kids who must've been visiting, because they were all wearing those stupid HI! MY NAME IS: tags from the admissions office. They must've had a weird sense of humor, too, because they'd all filled in strange names like: MARROW SUCKER, SKULL EATER, and JOE BOB. No human beings had names like that.

"These guys are moving here next year," Sloan bragged, like that was supposed to scare me. "I bet they can pay the tuition, too, unlike your retard friend."

"He's not retarded." I had to try really, really hard not to punch Sloan in the face.

"You're such a loser, Jackson. Good thing I'm gonna put you out of your misery next period."

His huge buddies chewed up my photo. I wanted to pulverize them, but I was under strict orders from Chiron never to take my anger out on regular mortals, no matter how obnoxious they were. I had to save my fighting for monsters.

Still, part of me thought, if Sloan only knew who I really was...

The bell rang.

As Tyson and I were leaving class, a girl's voice whispered, "Percy!"

I looked around the locker area, but nobody was paying me any attention. Like any girl at Meriwether would ever be caught dead calling my name.

Before I had time to consider whether or not I'd been imagining things, a crowd of kids rushed for the gym, carrying Tyson and me along with them. It was time for PE. Our coach had promised us a free-for-all dodgeball game, and Matt Sloan had promised to kill me.

The gym uniform at Meriwether is sky blue shorts and tie-dyed T-shirts. Fortunately, we did most of our athletic stuff inside, so we didn't have to jog through Tribeca looking like a bunch of boot-camp hippie children.

I changed as quickly as I could in the locker room because I didn't want to deal with Sloan. I was about to leave when Tyson called, "Percy?"

He hadn't changed yet. He was standing by the weight room door, clutching his gym clothes.

"Will you... uh..."

"Oh. Yeah." I tried not to sound aggravated about it. "Yeah, sure, man."

Tyson ducked inside the weight room. I stood guard outside the door while he changed. I felt kind of awkward doing this, but he asked me to most days. I think it's because he's completely hairy and he's got weird scars on his back that I've never had the courage to ask him about.

Anyway, I'd learned the hard way that if people teased Tyson while he was dressing out, he'd get upset and start ripping the doors off lockers.

When we got into the gym, Coach Nunley was sitting at his little desk reading Sports Illustrated. Nunley was about a million years old, with bifocals and no teeth and a greasy wave of gray hair. He reminded me of the Oracle at Camp Half-Blood—which was a shriveled-up mummy—except Coach Nunley moved a lot less and he never billowed green smoke. Well, at least not that I'd observed.

Matt Sloan said, "Coach, can I be captain?"

"Eh?" Coach Nunley looked up from his magazine. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Mm-hmm."

Sloan grinned and took charge of the picking. He made me the other team's captain, but it didn't matter who I picked, because all the jocks and the popular kids moved over to Sloan's side.

So did the big group of visitors.

On my side I had Tyson, Corey Bailer the computer geek, Raj Mandali the calculus whiz, and a half dozen other kids who always got harassed by Sloan and his gang. Normally I would've been okay with just Tyson—he was worth half a team all by himself—but the visitors on Sloan's team were almost as tall and strong-looking as Tyson, and there were six of them.

Matt Sloan spilled a cage full of balls in the middle of the gym.

"Scared," Tyson mumbled. "Smell funny."

I looked at him. "What smells funny?" Because I didn't figure he was talking about himself.

"Them." Tyson pointed at Sloan's new friends. "Smell funny."

The visitors were cracking their knuckles, eyeing us like it was slaughter time. I couldn't help wondering where they were from. Someplace where they fed kids raw meat and beat them with sticks.

Sloan blew the coach's whistle and the game began. Sloan's team ran for the center line. On my side, Raj Mandali yelled something in Urdu, probably "I have to go potty!" and ran for the exit.

Corey Bailer tried to crawl behind the wall mat and hide. The rest of my team did their best to cower in fear and not look like targets.

"Tyson," I said. "Let's g—"

A ball slammed into my gut. I sat down hard in the middle of the gym floor. The other team exploded in laughter.

My eyesight was fuzzy. I felt like I'd just gotten the Heimlich maneuver from a gorilla. I couldn't believe anybody could throw that hard.

Tyson yelled, "Percy, duck!"

I rolled as another dodgeball whistled past my ear at the speed of sound.

Whooom!

It hit the wall mat, and Corey Bailer yelped.

"Hey!" I yelled at Sloan's team. "You could kill somebody!"

The visitor named Joe Bob grinned at me evilly. Somehow, he looked a lot bigger now... even taller than Tyson. His biceps bulged beneath his T-shirt. "I hope so, Perseus Jackson! I hope so!"

The way he said my name sent a chill down my back. Nobody called me Perseus except those who knew my true identity. Friends... and enemies.

What had Tyson said? They smell funny.

Monsters.

All around Matt Sloan, the visitors were growing in size. They were no longer kids. They were eight-foot-tall giants with wild eyes, pointy teeth, and hairy arms tattooed with snakes and hula women and Valentine hearts.

Matt Sloan dropped his ball. "Whoa! You're not from Detroit! Who..."

The other kids on his team started screaming and backing toward the exit, but the giant named Marrow Sucker threw a ball with deadly accuracy. It streaked past Raj Mandali just as he was about to leave and hit the door, slamming it shut like magic. Raj and some of the other kids banged on it desperately but it wouldn't budge.

"Let them go!" I yelled at the giants.

The one called Joe Bob growled at me. He had a tattoo on his biceps that said : JB luvs Babycakes. "And lose our tasty morsels? No, Son of the Sea God. We Laistrygonians aren't just playing for your death. We want lunch!"

He waved his hand and a new batch of dodgeballs appeared on the center line—but these balls weren't made of red rubber. They were bronze, the size of cannon balls, perforated like wiffle balls with fire bubbling out the holes. They must've been searing hot, but the giants picked them up with their bare hands.

"Coach!" I yelled.

Nunley looked up sleepily, but if he saw anything abnormal about the dodgeball game, he didn't let on. That's the problem with mortals. A magical force called the Mist obscures the true appearance of monsters and gods from their vision, so mortals tend to see only what they can understand. Maybe the coach saw a few eighth graders pounding the younger kids like usual.

Maybe the other kids saw Matt Sloan's thugs getting ready to toss Molotov cocktails around. (It wouldn't have been the first time.) At any rate, I was pretty sure nobody else realized we were dealing with genuine man-eating bloodthirsty monsters.

"Yeah. Mm-hmm," Coach muttered. "Play nice."

And he went back to his magazine.

The giant named Skull Eater threw his ball. I dove aside as the fiery bronze comet sailed past my shoulder.

"Corey!" I screamed.

Tyson pulled him out from behind the exercise mat just as the ball exploded against it, blasting the mat to smoking shreds.

"Run!" I told my teammates. "The other exit!"

They ran for the locker room, but with another wave of Joe Bob's hand, that door also slammed shut.

"No one leaves unless you're out!" Joe Bob roared. "And you're not out until we eat you!"

He launched his own fireball. My teammates scattered as it blasted a crater in the gym floor.

I reached for Riptide, which I always kept in my pocket, but then I realized I was wearing gym shorts. I had no pockets. Riptide was tucked in my jeans inside my gym locker. And the locker room door was sealed. I was completely defenseless.

Another fireball came streaking toward me. Tyson pushed me out of the way, but the explosion still blew me head over heels. I found myself sprawled on the gym floor, dazed from smoke, my tie-dyed T-shirt peppered with sizzling holes. Just across the center line, two hungry giants were glaring down at me.

"Flesh!" they bellowed. "Hero flesh for lunch!" They both took aim.

"Percy needs help!" Tyson yelled, and he jumped in front of me just as they threw their balls.

"Tyson!" I screamed, but it was too late.

Both balls slammed into him... but no... he'd caught them. Somehow Tyson, who was so clumsy he knocked over lab equipment and broke playground structures on a regular basis, had caught two fiery metal balls speeding toward him at a zillion miles an hour. He sent them hurtling back toward their surprised owners, who screamed, "BAAAAAD!" as the bronze spheres exploded against their chests.

The giants disintegrated in twin columns of flame—a sure sign they were monsters, all right.

Monsters don't die. They just dissipate into smoke and dust, which saves heroes a lot of trouble cleaning up after a fight.

"My brothers!" Joe Bob the Cannibal wailed. He flexed his muscles and his Babycakes tattoo rippled. "You will pay for their destruction!"

"Tyson!" I said. "Look out!"

Another comet hurtled toward us. Tyson just had time to swat it aside. It flew straight over Coach Nunley's head and landed in the bleachers with a huge KA-BOOM!

Kids were running around screaming, trying to avoid the sizzling craters in the floor. Others were banging on the door, calling for help. Sloan himself stood petrified in the middle of the court, watching in disbelief as balls of death flew around him.

Coach Nunley still wasn't seeing anything. He tapped his hearing aid like the explosions were giving him interference, but he kept his eyes on his magazine.

Surely the whole school could hear the noise. The headmaster, the police, somebody would come help us.

"Victory will be ours!" roared Joe Bob the Cannibal. "We will feast on your bones!"

I wanted to tell him he was taking the dodgeball game way too seriously, but before I could, he hefted another ball. The other three giants followed his lead.

I knew we were dead. Tyson couldn't deflect all those balls at once. His hands had to be seriously burned from blocking the first volley. Without my sword... I had a crazy idea.

I ran toward the locker room.

"Move!" I told my teammates. "Away from the door!"

Explosions behind me. Tyson had batted two of the balls back toward their owners and blasted them to ashes.

That left two giants still standing.

A third ball hurtled straight at me. I forced myself to wait—one Mississippi, two Mississippi—then dove aside as the fiery sphere demolished the locker room door.

Now, I figured that the built-up gas in most boys' locker rooms was enough to cause an explosion, so I wasn't surprised when the flaming dodgeball ignited a huge WHOOOOOOOM!

The wall blew apart. Locker doors, socks, athletic supporters, and other various nasty personal belongings rained all over the gym.

I turned just in time to see Tyson punch Skull Eater in the face. The giant crumpled. But the last giant, Joe Bob, had wisely held on to his own ball, waiting for an opportunity. He threw just as Tyson was turning to face him.

"No!" I yelled.

The ball caught Tyson square in the chest. He slid the length of the court and slammed into the back wall, which cracked and partially crumbled on top of him, making a hole right onto Church Street. I didn't see how Tyson could still be alive, but he only looked dazed. The bronze ball was smoking at his feet. Tyson tried to pick it up, but he fell back, stunned, into a pile of cinder blocks.

"Well!" Joe Bob gloated. "I'm the last one standing! I'll have enough meat to bring Babycakes a doggie bag!"

He picked up another ball and aimed it at Tyson.

"Stop!" I yelled. "It's me you want!"

The giant grinned. "You wish to die first, young hero?"

I had to do something. Riptide had to be around here somewhere.

Then I spotted my jeans in a smoking heap of clothes right by the giant's feet. If I could only get there.... I knew it was hopeless, but I charged.

The giant laughed. "My lunch approaches." He raised his arm to throw. I braced myself to die.

Suddenly the giant's body went rigid. His expression changed from gloating to surprise.

Right where his belly button should've been, his T-shirt ripped open and he grew something like a horn—no, not a horn—the glowing tip of a blade.

The ball dropped out of his hand. The monster stared down at the knife that had just run him through from behind.

He muttered, "Ow," and burst into a cloud of green flame, which I figured was going to make Babycakes pretty upset.

Standing in the smoke was my friend Annabeth. Her face was grimy and scratched. She had a ragged backpack slung over her shoulder, her baseball cap tucked in her pocket, a bronze knife in her hand, and a wild look in her storm-gray eyes, like she'd just been chased a thousand miles by ghosts.

Annabeth punched Sloan in the nose and knocked him flat. "And you," she told him, "lay off my friend."

The gym was in flames. Kids were still running around screaming. I heard sirens wailing and a garbled voice over the intercom. Through the glass windows of the exit doors, I could see the headmaster, Mr. Bonsai, wrestling with the lock, a crowd of teachers piling up behind him.

"Annabeth..." I stammered. "How did you... how long have you..."

"Pretty much all morning." She sheathed her bronze knife. "I've been trying to find a good time to talk to you, but you were never alone."

"The shadow I saw this morning—that was—" My face felt hot. "Oh my gods, you were looking in my bedroom window?"

"There's no time to explain!" she snapped, though she looked a little red-faced herself. "I just didn't want to—"

"There!" a woman screamed. The doors burst open and the adults came pouring in.

"Meet me outside," Annabeth told me. "And him." She pointed to Tyson, who was still sitting dazed against the wall. Annabeth gave him a look of distaste that I didn't quite understand. "You'd better bring him."

"What?"

"No time!" she said. "Hurry! Y/N's on her way."

She put on her Yankees baseball cap, which was a magic gift from her mom, and instantly vanished.

That left me standing alone in the middle of the burning gymnasium when the headmaster came charging in with half the faculty and a couple of police officers.

"Percy Jackson?" Mr. Bonsai said. "What... how..."

Over by the broken wall, Tyson groaned and stood up from the pile of cinder blocks. "Head hurts."

Matt Sloan was coming around, too. He focused on me with a look of terror. "Percy did it, Mr. Bonsai! He set the whole building on fire. Coach Nunley will tell you! He saw it all!"

Coach Nunley had been dutifully reading his magazine, but just my luck—he chose that moment to look up when Sloan said his name. "Eh? Yeah. Mm-hmm."

The other adults turned toward me. I knew they would never believe me, even if I could tell them the truth.

I grabbed Riptide out of my ruined jeans, told Tyson, "Come on!" and jumped through the gaping hole in the side of the building.

Masterlist | Next Chapter

Haloe no scheduled updates yet but yes

-Kookie

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay@the-natureofme@booknerd-3000@katara720@ynfics

[archivistseye]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Jonah Hare, regarding a boy they met at summer camp. Original statement submitted September 24th, 2012. Recording by Vester Moth, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.

Statement begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

Before we continue I must apologize for any inconsistencies or vagueness. You see, this all happened a long time ago, back when I was about fourteen or fifteen. I'm in my thirties now, and my memory was never my strongest point.

But, my statement. Right.

It was at a summer camp.

School had ended for break, and parents were trying to figure out ways to get rid of their kids for just a bit longer. My parents were no different.

So despite my protests they tossed me into a summer camp. It was six weeks long for kids of ages eight to sixteen. I had just had my birthday so I didn't want to hang out with anyone younger than me. I didn't want to hang out with anyone, actually.

I was never the most social child. I had a multitude of reasons, but it was mostly a cycle of deciding I wanted to be alone, to bullies targeting me because I was alone, to me deciding I wanted to be alone because I didn't trust people, to bullies targeting me.

During the first week I kept to myself. I stayed quiet, I spoke when spoken to, and participated in activities as little as possible.

As an alternative, I took to reading the many books on fungus they had in the main cabin. I had always had a bit of an interest in them, something about them being such large contributors to the decay part of the life cycle had me enamoured, so when I saw their large selection of books from local fungi to those even across the world? Well, I was ecstatic.

I spent hours going through the books, reading each page over and over. I loved it.

And I wasn't the only one. I forget his name. I believe it was Stanley or Stokely, perhaps even Sydney. It's not all that important, but what was important, is that he loved fungi just as much as I did.

After years of being alone I finally had a friend who loved what I loved. It was a feeling I'd never felt before.

We would spend all of our spare time talking about our favorite mushrooms and how fascinating each type was. It was some of the most fun I'd ever had.

One day, the camp counselors revealed to us that we would be going on a hike, and that we were to bring journals and write down, draw, and describe all the things we found interesting. It was only natural that the boy and I team up.

At the end of the hike, the kids had the choice to go back to camp, or spend some more time finding things in areas of our choosing. Most kids went back to camp, with only a few of us staying behind. We all decided to split up, save for the boy and I.

It was just the boy and I in the area of the forest we had chosen. We were supposed to be watched by a counselor, but she disappeared at one point and we didn't particularly care to look for her, too wrapped up in our search for fungus.

And fungus, we did find. Of all different shapes and sizes. We had so much fun identifying what mushroom was what, going mostly by our memory of the books we'd read pretty much dozens of times.

It was all smooth sailing, until the boy stumbled across something he didn't recognize. When he called me over, I prepared to identify it and one-up him, but when I looked at it, I was completely and utterly stumped.

It was a bright cyan, frilly and covered in bulbous orange spots. It was beautiful. And something I had never, ever seen before, book or reality.

We stared at it for a moment. My mind was going a mile a minute, debating on whether this may be a mushroom from a county or two over that somehow managed it's way here or if it was an unidentified species.

That thought thrilled me. The idea of finding something new was so incredibly exciting, especially when it was something fungal.

It was then I noticed that during my inner debate, the boy had started poking at the mushroom with his finger. He was tapping and poking at the large orange spots. It snapped at him, told him that he ought to stop. What if this was a mushroom no one had seem before? We must tell someone!

As I say this, he gives one final poke to the bulging spot, and it bursts.

Puss spews out of it, covering his hand in a vile liquid. Some even managed to land on his cheek. It reeked of a smell I would later discover was rot.

I bite back the bile rising in my throat, and tell him we should head back and get cleaned up. He says nothing, and merely nods.

I, fortunately, was far enough away from the mushroom when the spot burst that I didn't get any on me. I certainly felt as though it had.

The boy was... Odd. After that event. He woke me up that night. He asked me to come with him, to see our "secret mushroom." I said no, and that I was sleeping. I told him he should he asleep too. I couldn't quite tell in the dark, but I think his face may have scrunched up. He sighed, and told me he'd go back to bed.

I dont think he did.

He wasn't quite right the day afterwards. Or the day after that. Or the day after that one. He disappeared often. In the time between activities, it seemed no-one could find him. One night, I'd awoken from a puss-filled nightmare and glanced over to his bunk. It was empty.

I knew where he was going, but I didn't say anything. I mean, it wasn't harmful. He was just looking at a mushroom. I figured it would be fine. And it was! For a few days. He... He went missing after the sixth. He left after some camp activity, I don't remember what it was, and he just didn't come back.

I could've told a counselor where he was, should've told them where he was, instead of watching them run around trying to find him. I don't know why I didn't. Maybe I felt like I'd be in trouble for not telling them sooner. Maybe I didn't want them to see the mushroom.

A week after he disappeared I thought it had been long enough. I would go out and find him and that damn mushroom he was obsessed with.

And I did.

I found him. He was sitting next to that cyan abomination. The fungus covered every inch of his arm, it crawling onto his chest and buried itself into where his heart were once located. There was even some on his cheek, right where that foul puss had gotten him.

Everything combined with the smell, a hundred times stronger now that it was a much, much larger mushroom, was too much, and I threw up.

He didn't spare much glance to the vomit. He simply smiled as he looked at me. He told me about how happy he was. How much he loved this revolting fungus and how much it loved him.

He spread his arms open, and his smile widened as he told me it loves me, too. He told me we could continue being friends if I joined him.

I turned, and I ran.

I never saw him again. The counselors had to call his parents. Camp continued on as normal, barely a dent in schedule.

I didn't say anything for the rest of camp. I didn't say anything for a long, long time.

And there we have it. My memory of what happened gets fuzzier and fuzzier each day, so I figured I'd give you my statement now before I forget too much. Thank you for your time.

ARCHIVIST

Statement ends.

Interesting. Mushrooms, decay, love. What do they mean?

I wonder how much of this actually happened. It's not that I don't believe M. Hare, I simply can't help but notice their mentioning of their bad memory. But, due to the fact this statement didn't record digitally, I'm compelled to group it into the real statements.

M. Hare didn't give us much information to do research with. They did not tell us when or where this took place, and I found it very difficult to find anything

I really need some assistants.

Recording ends.

[CLICK]

[rockbottomwithashovel]

You can one crime no matter how major and get away with it completely free.

What are you doing?

*pulls out whiteboard and markers* boy, am I GLAD YOU ASKED!

First I need to explain a little bit of background first: between the ages of 10-13, I was at a private christian school. Yikes, right? It's a miracle that I still believe in God. I was put through extreme mental/psychological and emotional abuse, then physical and bullying. This was my whole year group against me, and the teachers were worse than the students, pretending to care but literally turning away when i was being bullied, throwing out my lunch, and worst of all, bribing some kids to be my friend (because I was that much of a target no one would dare associate with me). It doesn't sound that bad but TO THIS DAY I STILL SUFFER FROM PTSD NIGHTMARES. So it's hard to recover when your brain torments you about it nightly.

How does this relate to my crime? Because what I'd do is revenge. Now what I really want to do is murder all the people who hurt me, but I believe in karma and I'm not going to risk my soul for their blood (God knows I've seen enough of it). Plus, we were kids. While I want to watch them hurt, I'm not going to get them for it because we were all shitty, we were kids in a bad environment, the majority of us didn't have a choice.

But you know who did? The principle. One of the worst bullies was his granddaughter. He let it all slide. So what my crime would be is kinda a 3 part-er.

Step 1: steal LITERALLY ALL OF THE MONEY FROM THE SCHOOL, I'm talking about all the money they made, from the principle, to the teacher's savings, to that total bitch who worked in the office. Steal. All. Of. Their. Shit. And more books from the library, because taking one was so not enough. Basically anything that I like, it's mine now. You know what, fuck it, I'm also stealing all the money from those shit's that convinced me to kill myself.

Step 2: break into the library, again, but also the rest of the school. I'd need to do this to steal shit anyway, but I mean literally break in, I'm talking smashing windows and shit, because that's ✨theraputic✨

Step 3: make sure that there are no kangaroos, wallabies, or bushwalkers on site, and that the surroundings are safe enough from fire, because bitch, I ain't starting no bushfires in Australia.

Step 4: just get. Some fuckin'. Petrol. And pour it. All over campus. Just. Just light that fucker up. Set it on fire. WATCH THAT FUCK BURN MWAHAHAHAHAAAA

Step 5: then I'd leave a special message spray painted, enough to know who did it but have no proof.

Man that is nice to think about. Honestly all my friends know at this point if that school ever gets burnt down, don't come looking for me. I should not be thinking this hard about it XD

ALTERNATIVELY!!!!

I'm hacking Jeff Bezo's AND Elon Musk, paying all of their workers a bonus like, 10,000 cause they can afford it, taking about 2 million for my own funsies and donating the rest to charities, funding green climate stuff and giving fistfulls of cash to homeless people like if Robin Hood was a chick. Yeah.

... but thank you for asking!!! <33

[weneedhelp]

lilac does give off hyuck psycho vibes (srry) and maybe even jungwoo/chenle, i think bc everyone just loves you and you're a happy pill that i wouldn't doubt if you stanned these fellas

niwa seems like a ten/winwin/renjun stan solely because she seems calm but is actually very wild and keepa order more often than not OR when she makes a joke/jab at someone it does numbers on everyone

loki is like a yangyang/haechan/johnny stan cause yeah she's chaotic and i feel like these three are good at outsmarting people and i get big brain vibes from her

joy is like a jeno/jaemin/mark/hendery stan cause they're chaotic but loveable and isn't that her essence, they're always making someone laugh and are maybe awkward sometimes but they care and show it through their actions

esa gives yuta/mark/taeyong/jaehyun? vibes, i haven't seen her active yet but from what you guys say she's sort of quiet, mysterious, brainy, maybe even feels like home, very baby, and iirc deadpan, too? and you guys describe her as this ethereal being (all of you are) and i see these four being the best fit

wanted to clear out the asks and saw this! and anonie, i must say you are very spot on with your descriptions for the girls! also i added my own versions, and it got a bit too long so yeah, read under the cut!

lilac is very homey, very motherly and genuinely is such a happy pill. like honestly, hearing her laugh will immediately add ten years to your lifespan bc she is just that contagious with her happiness. i'd actually say haechan-johnny combo is how i'd best describe her, maybe with a dash of ten too, bc the way conversations take a turn sometimes when she talks about hyuck 😭 also omg taeil and taeyong !!! bc they are also as motherly as lilac and are always down to join on the shenanigans their kids do

niwa is honestly such a sweetheart, like y'all can't even imagine, but she will also not hesitate to throw hands or exchange a few words if you mess with her loved ones, a very family/friends-oriented babes. i'd say yangyang-renjun for her, where renjun is her serious side when the situation calls for it while yangyang is her playful side whenever we have fun. she has the perfect balance between it all, and also i'd add jungwoo to the mix bc she is very soft-spoken too!

joy is mark, hands down. she's such a hard-worker and juggles all the things life throws at her, literally just like how sm puts mark in every sub-unit. she gets the job done always, even if it's a second before the deadline. also, jeno too bc of the way she loves, like she doesn't do it very openly and her love language is teasing and bullying. it sounds bad but i promise it's comes from her heart and if you are a close person to her, you can just feel the love and joy radiate off her.

esa is jaehyun, for sure. her vibes are all "i'm here for a good time, not a long time" and jaehyun gives out that energy as well. also, taeyong as well bc she is a lovely goofball with such good music taste, like literally she is so cool. she's like that senior at school you fall in love with bc she has that charming and charismatic persona with like gallons of coolness. this girl single-handedly made me like rock music and i bet she doesn't even know it.

forever and always grateful to have met these girls. we always say that the universe knew putting us together would literally make the world break so that's why we were scattered all around the world. these are the people i have always wanted in my life and i am not religious but whenever these girls are there for me, i thank whoever is up there for have giving me the opportunity to meet them.

[motherofkrypton]

Small things... can be a very big deal and sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself in order to be the hero in the eyes of another.

With school almost out a lot of school has different grade levels dressing up and such. I got a paper for the kindergarten class but don't recall anything for first graders. Today was bring a stuffed animal day but unknowingly it was for first graders too. We discovered this when my little girl was excitedly showing a kid in their car her Pikachu. That's when the little girl showed her her wolf stuffy. My son began to cry and when I asked what was wrong he said she was in HIS GRADE. That he could have brought his... and being tired his meltdown only got worse.

I told him how sorry I was and that I promise to check my emails for anything from his teacher about this week. That helped a little and he began to stop. I thought we were alright but when the bell rang he began crying again. I asked "what's up with you buddy...hold up, talk to me. What is this?" *guestured at him*

"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. BE. LEFT. OUT. There is stuff I can't do but I could have brought my Lamby."

Now that sentence alone was enough to crush my heart...I felt my throat tighten and my heart sank. Lamby is something that he has had since he was a baby. This guy is about 7 years old and you probably guessed it...it is indeed a lambchop...a squeaky toy. As a little guy he thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Each time it would squeak he'd get the biggest gummy smile I've ever seen and go into a laughing fit. He still sleeps with it and when he is upset he will carry it around or just sit kinda petting it. He also has a tough time with other kids occasionally... been bullied a little bit (which I've always stepped in). So, to him feeling left out is a very big deal.

"Please go get Lamby...he's right there. You can walk home and bring back Lamby please mom 🥺 can you bring Lamby for me?" Now, sadly I knew what going to the house then coming back for a stuffed animal would mean...I would be complained at (for a bunch of nonsense things) and if it was noticed I was doing this for lambchop...then he would be picked on later and he doesn't deserve that. All these scenarios were running through my head as I looked down to look in his eyes. I looked into pleading blue eyes begging me to see just what this moment was... for him. This moment was more than just simply wanting a stuffed animal, this was the scissors or glue, that would either break or strengthen us. A moment in which if I chose peace this once.....my boy would feel as I did... and I'd lose him.

Giving him a hug a leaned down a little so I could talk quietly, "Screw it...you are important to ME and I love you. Wipe those tears baby...chin up...go on, I'll be right back..." gave him another hug before looking in his eyes again... "I promise." With a hint of a smile he walked down the sidewalk to where they enter. I am honest with my children about everything (some things I dust a little sugar on so they don't sound as bad...for instance my father is slowly dying and I simply tell them that he isn't feeling too good, his heart is fighting him a bit. I explain things more child friendly.) so any time that I say the words 'I promise' to them, they know it's going to happen.

I ran home and the first thing I did was grab my bookbag (needed my ID) then darted into his room to grab Lamby off the top bunk. I kept it tucked against me so it wouldn't be seen and made my way to the door. My fiance called out to me from the kitchen and I knew that if I didn't get out the door right then...I wasn't going to be able to fullfil my promise without having to wake my youngest up. Since I often forget things I quickly told him "I forgot something important for one of the kids so I have to run back over there real quick, they need it." If I had said 'our son is upset because he could have brought a stuffed animal too but we didn't know'...then he would have started an argument right then. I dropped off the stuffed animal and sure enough he began as soon as I walked back in the front door. But in this instance...I don't care. By simply putting my boy above the bull crap, I just showed him he means the world to me. That even if it is going to cause issues for me with him (fiance)...that as my baby he comes first. That no matter what, I am here for him. Hoping it made his day when the lady brought him his Lamby 💞