#hsp advice

[orkbutch]

The city in question is New York. I am fairly feminine and just graduated college, which on fetlife seems to mean “free for all.” Apparently, creepy straight guys looking for female subs do not care if I’ve pasted the word “LESBIAN” everywhere!

There’s so much STUFF going on in this city, which is great, but I don’t know a single soul outside of work and it’s a smidge overwhelming lol.

Hence why I’m bothering innocent people on tumblr.

Thank you so much for trying to point me in the right direction!

OH, BABE you're in NEW YORK??? You can find queer kink. You can find so much of it, I'm sure of it. That is fair that its overwhelming. If you're looking to make friends in a bdsm scene and you have some expendable income, I would absolutely look into getting classes in your area! Classes are obviously always good to do, always good to be upping your knowledge and experience, but they also provide you a great place to meet other kinsters and talk to whoever is leading the class to get some leads on locations, events, ect! Its a structured environment where asking questions and advice is already expected. And again, potentially a place to meet people! Finding classes can be done lots of ways. Fetlife again, but also event ticket sites, just googling if you have a specific kind of play in mind (eg. rope, impact, electro stim), and they'll usually flag somewhere on the event if they're queer run/friendly!

[theautumnaldemon]

Hi I’m Autumn

I love marine biology, botany/mycology, art, animated shows/movies, graphic novels, bears, grunge aesthetic, and witchcraft

✦ any pronouns

✦ genderfluid

✦ lesbian who’s also a gay man

✦ ambiamorous

✦ I’m an autistic HSP with very heavy social anxiety, im also very easily confused. I may not understand something right away, i might very poorly misread something— if i do, sorry

✦ Platonic/joke flirting is for close friends only. If I don’t know you well, please don’t. And absolutely no genuine flirting, I will not reciprocate and it makes me uncomfortable.

✦ No, I don’t have discord

I don’t reccomend venting to me because I am terrible at consoling people and giving advice. It’s not that I don’t care, I’m just not the best for it.

@/mod-autumn is my TAOCC blog, go there for anything TAOCC related

I now take stimboard requests! See this post for info

Remember your daily click for Palestine!

Sona reference:

(This is just their default outfit, you can draw them in whatever outfit. Scenemo or grunge aesthetic are usually the most fitting, though)

[purlturtle]

Neurodiversity and coping mechanisms

So I've recently clocked that I might be ADHD, on top of being highly sensitive (or intermingled with, or whatever). And I've noticed a lot of advice is geared towards people who reacted to "don't make such a fuss/don't be a wuss about it" in childhood with either distrusting themselves (not listening to their bodies/minds about the things that are wrong), or bending themselves into pretzels masking/denying themselves.

Is there anything geared towards people who have such a massive distrust against adults/authority that bleeds into distrust against therapy/therapists/self help approaches?

Like, I worked with a therapist, who didn't even clock that I was HSP and that that was where my problems stemmed from. Unsurprisingly, that therapy went nowhere. (This was before I myself knew about the phenomenon.)

When I read self-help posts or articles, a ton of the time my thoughts are "this isn't gonna work, I tried this already, this doesn't pertain to me, I know I can't achieve that."

I have spent basically the entirety of my childhood trying to hold on to myself and not lose myself among the "don't make such a fuss" world, and most of my adult life trying to shape my life in accommodating ways of my own devising, against a lot of resistance. And now I don't know when leaving my comfort zone (and where to, and how long, etc etc) could actually be helpful, with my resistance to it being maladaptive, and when I should listen to my resistance.

And "just try it out" feels like something I cannot afford, with my mental health being what it is. Going over my limits lands me in migraines, meltdowns, days worth of being unable to work. (and work is one of those areas in which I struggle.)

Anyone here in the same position? (also, please feel free to share this post, so that it hopefully reaches people who have advice on this!)

[aesethewitch]

Free Tarot Friday Rules

Last updated September 8, 2024: Added reality shifting questions to the list of stuff I don't read about. You can also find the list over on my sweet new website under the Commissions nav link.

On Fridays, I offer free one-card tarot readings on Tumblr! This section covers guidelines for submitting a free reading request. (Note: Guidelines for paid readings are included on the full order page over on Ko-Fi, since they differ from listing to listing.)

General Guidelines:

Send an ask with your question or goal for the reading to my Tumblr askbox. Be as clear as you can with your question, or if you prefer, you can ask for a general reading. Be mindful of the things I won't do, listed below. In general, asks violating rules will not be answered.

Include your initial(s) and the initial(s) of anyone else involved. Nothing else is necessary.

No minors. Sorry!

Include your pronouns and the pronouns of anyone else involved. This is so that I know how to phrase my reading respectfully. If you don't, I'll default to they/them.

I will answer your ask privately if you ask. If you don't request to be answered privately, the ask will be published to my blog. Note that to answer an ask privately, you can't send it anonymously. Anonymous asks with a request to be answered privately will be deleted, since I can't answer them without publishing to my blog.

Be respectful. Only ask one question for Free Tarot Friday, follow the rules, and don't be an asshole. Please also don't trauma dump in my inbox. Remember that I'm a whole person and that I'm not your therapist. Don't be that parasocial asshole who makes me turn anonymous asks off.

Things I Won't Do Readings About:

Readings about health or legal issues. Trust me, you should talk to a professional about these things. This includes mental health! General advice like "What can I do this season to keep my spirits up?" is okay. "When will I get better?" is not.

Yes/No questions, especially ones about love. Instead of "Will I fall in love?" or "Will my situation improve?", try asking "What do I need to know about my love life?" or "How can I improve my situation?" You'll get better answers that way. I can't guarantee a clear yes or no. I'll usually try to rework a yes/no question into a more open-ended question. If I can't, I'll have to reject it.

Sexually explicit readings, including readings about first times, future sex lives, etc.

Future spouse/partner readings, in general. Nothing about where a future spouse is from, appearance, when you'll meet, etc. General love readings or readings about your future with a particular person are typically fine.

Readings on past lives, "twin flames," "soul mates," and related concepts. I won't do readings relating to being an empath, HSP, starseed, indigo child, or other similar concepts, either.

Readings on "reality shifting" or Law of Attraction/Assumption related topics. I think reality shifting is bullshit to be quite honest! And LoA is full of toxic nonsense; I don't want to touch it.

Anything that constitutes "mind reading." This includes what people think about you, what people are saying about you, and similar questions.

Readings about celebrities, period. Especially ones that involve celebrities falling in love with you or someone else, but nothing about drama or scandals, either.

Readings on behalf of other people. For example, "What should my friend do about this situation?" or "Will my sibling fall in love?" or "How does x person feel about y person?" Questions about how you could help your friend get through their situation or what support they need are fine.

More than one card and/or one question at once for free. (This comes with very few exceptions.) If your question is too complex for a single card draw, I'll let you know so you can narrow it down or ask another question. Even if it's a free reading, I want you to get something worthwhile out of it. Half-assing an answer isn't fun for either of us.

Keep in mind, I have the right to refuse to do any reading for any reason. Even if something isn't explicitly listed here, if I'm not comfortable with a question's content, if you're rude, or if I just don't want to answer a given question for some reason, I'm allowed to refuse. For free tarot days, I'll usually offer to let you send a new ask in cases where something isn't explicitly disallowed. Others will just be deleted.

For paid readings, I will contact you to talk about the content of the question and negotiate from there. If you purchase a reading and decide you no longer want one after I reject a question for whatever reason, I'll refund you. But I'd rather you read through these rules and ask ahead of time if you're not sure about something, since I'll have to eat the payment processing fees for any refunds, and that sucks.

[writingforstraykids]

I'm sorry for the rant, but a person who had to look up what being an HSP means when I told them (no shame for that, but you're hardly an expert) now saying, "Uh, I don't think you are if you don't know what's going on with me." is so fundamentally wrong and pissed me off for a sec.

Yes, I am HSP (highly sensitive person), and no, there's no direct diagnosis or any meds for it, which doesn't make it any less valid. Basically, everyone has a filter for all the sounds, smells, visual impacts, and so on, so you don't get overwhelmed by all that smacking you right in the face. I, as an HSP, also have a filter, but mine is letting way more through. Someone clicking their pen in class can take my whole focus from the lecture and redirect it at that single sound. Sometimes, it'll take me a few minutes to consciously realize where that sound is coming from, and then my brain's like, "Well done, girl, it's a pen, now we'll stay here for a while."

Yes, I do easily sense when people are upset or their mood is changing. I can come into a room and feel my own mood getting dragged down by all the negativity in it. So I have two options: Go with it or try to cope with it. I have learned ways to do the second; if you need any tips/insights, feel free to ask me; I'm happy to help.

BUT that doesn't mean I can read your mind. That doesn't mean I notice you're in a bad mood and know immediately why tf that's the case. And most importantly, it doesn't mean I'll make myself vulnerable and expose myself to every damn thing that goes wrong in your life. I love to listen, I love to try and give you advice or spend comfort...but I won't place myself in situations that make me more fucked up than you. I'm no help, then. If you need to talk or need help, just fucking say so instead of blaming me for not knowing the script to your life??

Also for anyone who's curious, this site sums it up pretty well

[iwannarunawayandbeapirate]

hi.

so i did a test to see if i'm autistic a couple of months ago, like an official diagnosis, and when the results came in i was told that i'm not autistic but a highly sensitive person (hsp).

i do not feel very comfortable with that label because i do not experience many of the symptoms (e.g. feeling other peoples' "energy", feeling the same emotions as them, avoiding violence in movies/tv) and i feel like my struggles aren't properly acknowledged. additionally, i have found while looking into the topic that many sources associate hsp with high iqs and "gifted" people, which i am just personally uncomfortable with. i also don't like the way many hsp posts are phrased, because they paint it as a gift and don't really talk about the problems and struggles that come with it.

i want to use a label that more accurately describes my experience, but i'm reluctant to self-diagnose as autistic because i have been told by professionals that i'm not. i absolutely support other self-diagnosed autistic people, but to be honest, i'm just too scared personally that i might be wrong. and also that nobody irl would believe me.

today i found out that there is another problem regarding the term "hsp": hsp and autistic people share many traits. most people who say that there is a difference between the two describe the difference between hsp and autistic people like "it's bad to be autistic and being a hsp is entirely different and even though there are so many shared traits hsp are inherently superior because they're more empathic". they also use outdated definitions of autism to make these distinctions.

i don't think it's wrong to use both the terms hsp and autistic, or just identify as hsp and not autistic. i am just talking about my personal experiences and feelings.

i am also diagnosed with adhd, so i think i might just describe myself as neurodivergent. if anyone has any advice for me, please let me know.

(also if i phrased something badly and came across as rude or insensitive in any way, please tell me!)

[sugirandom]

Trigger warnings related to Chronic Pain, Mental Health issues, dysphoria, family relationship difficulties, etc. It's an honest post and not really a happy one.

So I'm currently in the burnt-out from chronic pain cycle that I get into from time to time. I guess the fact that my chronic pain makes me feel older than I am makes me fearful for how I'll be once I'm at an age where the level of pain I have is expected/the norm. I try not to dwell on that but it is something that genuinely scares me. It's also difficult because it's become clear to me that Poppy is getting tired of hearing about my chronic pain and can get rather dismissive saying "we all have little aches and pains." It seems like in general lately when I've been upset about something her reactions are either to get really pissed off at me or to just be dismissive. She acts like it's all in my mind and while trying to shift my mindset is a good idea it also is not a magic bullet solution that will suddenly make my emotional and physical pain all better.

It seems like when I express my less than pleasant emotions it ends up pushing people away and that really bothers me. I wish I knew how I could honestly express myself without it pushing people away because when I'm at my most vulnerable emotionally is when I need support the most. And yes, I've tried expressing to her how her actions make me feel but it just seems to piss her off more and kinda makes me feel like the only way we''ll get along is if I don't express myself and that's a very toxic way to exist. So, IDK talking to my best bro helps but in terms of getting advice from a chronic pain perspective I'm considering seeking out a support group or just waiting till I can afford therapy I guess?

Yesterday we went to the mall and the bookstore and I did purchase a book on healing from trauma and one about coping as a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) which I had been labeled as in the past by psychologists. I'm hoping these books give me some good advice, I do hate feeling isolated but here's hoping that won't last long. Poppy bought an anti-inflammatory diet book as well and we will probably try that out some time soon so I'm hoping that will help as well.

Thanks for letting me vent and for those of you who have stuck around through my dark moods thank you so much. It means the world to me!

[prismaticstreams]

How to avoid the therapist trap: mutuality and balance in relationships

Have you ever struggled with feeling like a therapist? Do your friendships and dating relationships always seem to end up being one sided? It can be incredibly frustrating feeling like you’re always the listener, and people aren’t interested in what you have to share. 

This is a particularly common issue for women, who are generally expected to be the ones who provide emotional support in our culture. Both women and men tend to vent more to women, and expect empathy and compassion in response. It’s a very common problem for certain personality types as well, especially empathic people, highly sensitive people (HSPs), and introverts who tend to default to the listener role. Enneagram Type Twos tend to get stuck in “helping” roles in their relationships too.

To be honest, I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve often ended up stuck being the listener, annoyed that the other person just wanted to monologue to an audience. However, I’ve also been guilty of interrupting and taking over conversations, so it’s something I have to continue to be mindful and conscious about. I try to remember that some of my friends are more introverted and quiet, and are less likely to take up space unless I ask questions and leave room for them to speak up. This requires extra effort and intentionality.

I try to consistently keep an eye on mutuality and reciprocity in my friendships. Unless it's a relationship that is supposed to be one sided, like a defined mentor/ministry/therapy relationship, then I do watch out for things getting too unbalanced. I think it's okay if things are a bit one-sided for a season - we all go through tough times - but if it's like that permanently, I would re-evaluate things.

I used to not pay attention to this sort of thing because I thought that would get me into an unhealthy "quid pro quo" mindset, but I've actually found that keeping an eye on this from the beginning of friendships has helped me form more healthy, reciprocal connections with people. This helps curb my natural tendency to give more in relationships.

Observing this from the start means I'm less likely to get resentful and frustrated down the road, because often when a friendship starts out a little bit one-sided, the imbalance gets worse as time goes on - until I reach a breaking point. Now that I'm mindful from the start, this is much less of an issue.

I think this also helps me avoid getting into "unrequited friendships", i.e. friendships where I care and like the person a lot more than they care and like me. When I give too much to other people, I sometimes miss the fact that they actually don't really like me or value the friendship as much as I do.

Before, when I gave too much, people would be happy to receive, but I later realised they didn't truly value me or my friendship. They were just enjoying the perks of free therapy etc. Giving less can help me discover who actually likes me as a person, versus just wanting the benefits of my generosity.

For instance, on a first date or meet up with a friend, consider things like:

Do they ask you questions about yourself? 

Do they listen well (e.g. can they practice active listening skills)?

Are they able to give and receive emotional support equally? 

Can they withhold unsolicited advice when you talk about something you struggle with? 

Does the conversation feel balanced, or are you mostly just listening? 

Do they message you first, or do you always have to message them first? 

Do they suggest or plan outings, or do you always have to do it?

I generally have a rule of three when it comes to reaching out or taking initiative with new people. I'm happy to message first three times, but if they don't message first after that, it's usually best to move on. Same with asking questions - I think it's okay to ask three questions in a row, but if they don't ask any back after that or make an attempt to engage with me, then they probably just like talking about themselves.

Obviously, none of these are hard and fast rules, and it’s important to trust your gut. Sometimes I have conversations where I mostly listen, and I still really enjoy it, because the topic is really interesting or I don’t feel like talking about myself in that moment. In most cases I know that if I had something I wanted to say, the other person would listen and be supportive. People may come from a cultural or family background where asking questions is viewed as intrusive, so it’s important to consider the vibe as a whole, rather than getting bogged down in the minutiae. It’s relevant to consider the level of effort in people’s responses.

Another factor, particularly on dating apps, is that people can behave very differently when texting versus in person or on the phone/video chat. I have occasionally come across dry texters who are charismatic and a lot of fun in person, though these are probably exceptional cases. If you really like someone, I’d say give them a chance and see what happens.

In certain instances, such as the workplace or a professional context, listening can be advantageous as it allows you to gain information about the other person. This way you don’t have to reveal too much about yourself, which perhaps could be used against you. So taking on the role of the listener can actually be quite strategic in certain contexts. Knowing how to ask good questions and listen effectively can serve you well in the dating scene, so you can spot red flags much more quickly and easily.

Also, some people just prefer listening, and gain energy that way - so if that’s you, more power to you! Just be conscious that you don’t get taken advantage of or used for your gifts.

In the end, the most important thing is to tune into your body and how you feel. If you feel exhausted, resentful or irritated after a conversation with someone, it’s important to pause and ask yourself why. Check in with yourself. Then consider how to set boundaries and move forward in a way that’s more sustainable for you.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Let’s talk about: Body Ascension Symptoms

So I had some insight over the past few days about body ascension symptoms, such as why we get them, what some common ones are, and what to do.

Common Body Ascension Symptoms

Dairy intolerance—for you body to integrate higher frequencies, sometimes it will become intolerant to the heaviness of dairy, you may adjust and it becomes fine

Sugar issues— blood sugar drops, feeling sensitive to sugar, feeling dizzy when having something with sugar

Seasickness or motion sickness—your soul is remembering how to control a human but from a higher state. It feels very different. You may be more sensitive to movement

Chronic exhaustion—this can happen because your body takes in so much energy that it’s almost like you are buzzing, you struggle to sleep or stay asleep

Twitching—this is also a sign of energy overload and it just means you didn’t properly prepare your body for the energy download, this is why what you ingest and how you workout can impact so much, a more fit body can more easily handle more energy

Falling or other motor function based injury—when your soul is rising in frequency, it can struggle a bit with controlling the body so you may notice you fall or seem to have some issues when you walk, getting a crick in your neck, basically the soul and body have to get back in tune and adjust

Horniness— yeah, it means that your sacral energy is getting a boost from just the sheer increase in energy flowing through you.

Random headaches— as you take energy in through the crown, your mind works double time to interpret the energy, it can cause a headache

Sensitive to sound— you may notice that you listen to things more quietly than you used to or crowded spaces seem to be louder to you

More vibrant colors— the sky may look more brightly blue, or the grass more deeply green, the world literally looks more beautiful

Improved fitness— you may naturally have more energy to workout or crave healthier food and implement better habits

Period issues— part of all the energy being managed through the root chakra, and part of healing collective feminine wounding around our reproductive organs

Food allergies and intolerances— you may develop other types of allergies or intolerances to things like meat, nuts, alcohol, etc. Celiacs disease or Chrohns disease as well.

**note: I am explaining a spiritual cause and this does not serve as medical advice, you should still seek medical assistance.**

Why do we have these issues?

Because sometimes for spiritual growth our body also has to go through upgrades. Most of us who are spiritual and sensitive have repressed so much of that in order to survive. We become used to suppression. When you move into thrival mode, you have to open yourself up and that means making yourself sensitive again. Being an HSP (highly sensitive person) means I’m not just energetically or emotionally sensitive, but I’m sensitive to scents, and foods, and sounds, etc. It opens you up across the board. In the past where I could repress nausea, now I can’t. Not well. Forced authenticity.

How to handle it

My advice is to listen. If you feel the need to switch something up, follow that prompting. That’s part of what prompted me to stop nicotine, to start taking medication, etc. This change, you don’t have to view it as permanent, you can tell yourself you’re just doing it for now, but it’s critical we listen to our bodies.

[disabled-dragoon]

Hey! I’ve sent a message before but my dr thinks I have spastic paraplegia. He wants to keep me out of a wheelchair as long as possible so I use a rollator right now but when I walk for more then like a couple minutes (if that) I get this horrible tightness in my hips that makes it really painful and uncomfortable to walk. I also get really bad muscle cramps in my calf and when I get one I usually get more in succession. Any recommendations for what to do? My dr is kinda useless when it comes to helping me 🥲 I’m in PT too but they kinda went “¯\_(ツ)_/ we don’t even know what spastic paraplegia is”

Well by that logic, shouldn't they find out? Honestly. I say the worst part of disability is the admin, but having to explain it to doctors every single time is up there too.

I have to preface that my recommendations will probably be a bit vaguer than you might be hoping for, simply because I obviously don't know the full extent of your pain, and every HSP or potential HSP diagnosis is different so forgive me for that.

Obviously I'm not a doctor so disclaimer here: Any advice I give is purely off personal experience. Bring it up with a trusted medical professional if it something that interests you.

-

So my first question is: Do you have any physio exercises? And more importantly, do you do them?

I completely understand the physiotherapist thing. I've had to explain HSP to all but two of my doctors, and even then one of them still needed coaching as to what the hell they were actually dealing with so I get it. I'm not going to give you the whole "if you exercise you won't be disabled anymore" spiel because we both know that not's true, but exercise really does help with slowing it down and making the pain more manageable.

If you want more/better exercise suggestions that are bit more specific to the areas outlined, I have some links that might be worth checking out:

Hip exercises: this is a link to the Spire Healthcare website that details an extensive list of exercises for hip stiffness and pain.

Sastic Paraplegia Foundation: Link to an official HSP charity, specifically to a page detailing good advice for physio exercises and areas to focus on.

Honestly the SPF is really really good for more information. It's got loads of resources on physiotherapy, the differences in the disability, a forum, information on research developments. Etc. etc. It's good to peruse if you're interested!

I am an HSP Warrior- My Exercise Journey: This is a youtube channel ran by a woman of the name of Alycia Klein. She is diagnosed with HSP and puts out semi-regular, short home exercise videos. Her last video, as of writing this, was actually fifty minutes ago!

Also may I suggest perhaps looking into exercise/resistance bands? I found they've worked wonders for strengthening my joints and help with pain, but, as always, consult with a trusted doctor beforehand to make sure this is the option for you. I personally use latex ones (see below) but there are several options to look through.

[ID: Pile of 5 latex exercise bands on a white background. The colours, from left to right, are black, red, blue, yellow and green. /end ID]

Next up: Extra Information!

I don't know how much you might personally know about HSP, or about how much I may have told you in the past, but! It never hurts to know more. And it may be of some help, if you feel comfortable to, sharing some some information with you PT.

I like this video:

It's relatively short, has pictures to accompany it and the subtitles aren't auto-generated! At the end it also gives a brief insight into some areas to focus exercise on to potentially extend your mobility and maybe the time you can stay out of a wheelchair.

And lastly, your doctor wants to avoid the wheelchair for now but what do you think?

No one knows your body better than you do and if this a genuine concern for you, it might not hurt to push the issue. Even just as something to consider in case of emergency.

Also, does your rollator have a seat? If not, personally I've found I sometimes prefer it to my wheelchair. It lets me walk until I get tired then I can sit and wait the pain out. Doesn't work all the time but when I want to exercise out of the chair it's quite good.

-

That's all I have at the moment. If you have any more specific questions please feel free to send them my way, I'd be more than happy to try and answer them.

I hope this has been of some help to you anon, and I wish you good luck!

[betweenthescarletmoon]

3, 6, and 15 💜🥰😎

Yay thanks for the ask :D

3. “what's your favorite candle scent?” oh, for some reason i love the citrus-y ones. anything really sweet kinda disgusts me. i believe my favorite is midnight blue citrus from bath & body works.

6. “say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).” as for physical: (1) my eyes bc they're grayish green with yellow at the center (you can see this when the light hits them); (2) my hair bc i finally learned how to take care of my curls and i love them sm; and finally (3) i guess my hands. ppl always said they're piano hands even though I haven't played in years, bc they're thin and long.

as for non-physical qualities: (1) my musical essence. i am rlly good at memorizing melodies and harmonies, and i got good ear, but it's because I literally can't live without music. i process everything through music, i connect everything with music, i show my love to people and characters through music, and i can't do any menial task (or math, ew) without singing or humming to myself. if im forced to be quiet? my brain will play a specific song over and over and over again. (2) my writing skills! they've been marinated in lots of great fanfiction and novel reading, so ive taken pieces of beautiful literature like strawberries in a field. and i know i can be so much better, but im pretty proud of my writing all the same :D. (3) my sensitivity, which is connected to the other two. it's a double-edged sword, bc being an hsp makes me feel negative emotions too quickly and deeply, and i even feel physical pain easier. my sensitivity to sounds is so much but hey, it also formed my musicality as a big part of me. being sensitive made me so curious about trauma and suffering, and i empathize with it, and it's led me to pursuing my major in psychology! so i think it provides me more good than harm :)

16. “compliment the person who sent you this number.” rachel!! you are a very gentle, kind, passionate soul. out of the entire mk fandom, i feel you're one of the very very few people open to theorize and fangirl and sincerely share your thoughts with me. your advice and beta-ing and compliments have made my entire summer, and you have a great sense of humor and writing prowess! i know you'll do great things and many people will see the depth of your soul in all your art 💗💗💗

[w-ht-w]

Personalities prone to anxiety

INFP and INFJ: The Overthinkers

We start off with INFPs and INFJs: two Introverted personalities that often experience bouts of anxiety. When it comes to these types, their anxiety can stem from an inclination to overthinking.

INFX personalities are naturally drawn to observe patterns and explore thoughts and ideas. ...  try a mindful practice like journaling or painting. Having a creative outlet can be a helpful tool to slow down your racing thoughts and better process your emotions. 

INTJ: The Perfectionist

The hardworking and diligent INTJ is a levelheaded individual who is capable of producing stellar work. However, as an INTJ, you may also have a negative perfectionist tendency. Whilst saying you’re a perfectionist may sound good in a job interview, it comes with its perils.

In fact, researchers have linked toxic perfectionism with heart disease. Another study found that 70% of young people who died by suicide had extremely high standards for themselves. Multiple studies also show a correlation between anxiety disorders and perfectionism.

By adjusting expectations and coming to terms with the fact that life is messy and imperfect, INTJs can curb their negative perfectionism and start giving more credit to themselves and others.   

ENFJ and ESFJ: The People Pleasers

EXFJs can care a lot about what others think of them. This consideration for others may cause them to have ruminating thoughts about their social interactions. ...to appease the people they love, EXFJs may find themselves agreeing to something they don’t really wish to do, or that they have no time for. ... remember that, as much as you love to help, sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to take care of yourself first.

ISFJ and ISTJ: The Traditionalists

For the traditionally inclined ISFJ and ISTJ types, sudden changes can be a cause of great worry and anxiety. Like their Extraverted counterparts, ISFJs show love by being present for others. However, they can take this to an extreme and end up neglecting their own emotional needs in the process.

When it comes to ISTJs, anxiety can surface when they feel a lack of structure. If plans fall through, or they have to move in a different and unexpected direction, ISTJs can become overwhelmed and blame themselves for not predicting how things would play out.

My advice for anxious ISXJs? Learn to set time aside for yourself. In addition, recognize your accomplishments, even when things don’t go as smoothly as planned. (1)

The introverted (I) intuitive (N) types (“INs”)—INFJ, INFP, INTJ and INTP—are among the most “sensitive” of the personality types. This is especially true of those who are more turbulent than assertive. I suspect that most INFJs and INFPs would qualify as “highly sensitive persons” (HSPs),

1. https://www.truity.com/blog/what-personality-types-are-prone-anxiety

2. https://personalityjunkie.com/06/infj-infp-intj-intp-anxiety-sensitivity-change/

[crashmenagerie]

I’d like to issue a warning to hsps who read The Highly Sensitive Person, which champions HSPs as, specifically, advisors and sages. From personal mistakes and experience: never, ever think of yourself as an advisor. Offering advice when you should be supporting other people’s autonomy to make their own decisions is the fastest way to ensure you will remain entirely without friends. They may seem grateful in the moment, but if they use your advice and succeed, that success is to your credit. If they fail, they suffer the consequences, not you. Don’t do this to anyone.

I know I’m offering advice here, which is contradictory, but seriously learn from my mistakes.

[purlturtle]

Hi, my therapist brought up the possibility that I might be HSP in a recent session and I had literally never heard of it before then! I came across one of your posts while trying to look up more, and really like how you framed it as "you can look into both the autism and HSP toolboxes to find what works for you" .

So I've got both "Unmasking Autism" and "The Highly Sensitive Person" on my reading list. I'm wondering if you have any resources you personally like, on top of that? tytyty

Hi! No written resources as such; the stance/attitude that helped me most is radical self acceptance (I know the word "radical" is attached to some really bad concepts, but for this one it is very necessary) - basically what it means is that you shift your mind to the standpoint that you, the way you are, are not broken, not in need of fixing, you are okay, flaws and all, you just live in a world that isn't made for you. Or, as Beverly Crusher has it, "if there's nothing wrong with me, maybe there's something wrong with the universe."

There IS nothing wrong with being neurodivergent. Of any kind. It's just that the world/society that we live in isn't really accommodating of neurodivergence of any kind.

Acceptance of that means not railing against the fact THAT the world is like that, but instead channeling that anger towards figuring out how to live in this world, while going from the absolute belief that YOUR well-being (you personally, anon!) is paramount. Supermarkets are too loud, too bright, too much; okay, how can I order my life to not have to go there (deliveries, go to a different supermarket that has quiet shopping time, etc.), and if that's not possible, how can I mitigate the experience (headphones, sunglasses, clear and precise shopping list, go twice a week for shorter etc.) - rather than think "everyone else can do it, I just need to get used to this, why am I this messed up, just man up" etc etc.

Whatever accommodations and strategies you can implement that help YOU live better in this world that isn't made for us, is worth trying out and sticking to. Even if it alienates other people. I've lost quite a few casual contact friends over no longer going out - but no longer going out has brought me so much peace of mind! And true friends will understand when you say "hey this overwhelms me, can we meet at home and play boardgames instead?" and be happy to accommodate you. Because that's what friendship is!

I don't have any books or websites about this; it's just the way that I've learned to live my life. I know a lot of neurodivergent people struggle with the concept of self-worth, of even being worth making that much fuss over, of not wanting to be a bother - if that is you, anon, then my last piece of advice is to tackle that in therapy. Because you ARE worth it, and it's important for you to learn that in order to advocate for yourself. You need to be in your own corner, you need to be your own ally. From my point of view, nothing has helped me more in my mental health journey. I hope this will help you too!

[rediscoverhearing]

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Getting a hearing test is a crucial step to help detect and address hearing loss. Studies have shown that addressing hearing loss early reduces the risk of mental health issues, social isolation and even Alzheimer’s Disease. So, whether you notice signs of declining hearing or are concerned about the hearing of a loved one, it’s important to seek out a free hearing tests Perth.

There are a few different types of hearing tests available, and it’s important to find an audiologist who is qualified to perform your test. Audiologists are highly-trained professionals who specialise in the diagnosis and treatment of hearing loss. They can diagnose and treat hearing problems, as well as offer advice about lifestyle changes and devices that may help improve your quality of life.

You can also take an online hearing test that will give you a preliminary result, and recommend next steps. You’ll need a computer or tablet, headphones and a quiet environment to take an online hearing test. The audiologist will play a series of sounds through your headphones to assess your hearing and give you the results. These results aren’t as accurate as an in-person assessment, but they can give you a good idea of how your hearing is.

A full, diagnostic hearing assessment is a more detailed test that takes into account the individual characteristics of your hearing and the type of hearing loss you have. It’s usually done by an audiologist, and you might need to bring a referral from your doctor. This kind of hearing assessment is typically fully-funded through the government Hearing Services Program for eligible pensioners exploring hearing aids, or paid for privately if you don’t have concessions.

The audiologist will use the results of your test to determine the cause of your hearing loss and suggest appropriate treatments. This can include hearing aids, lifestyle recommendations, or other options such as aural rehabilitation and other assistive technology. The audiologist can also discuss the pros and cons of each option so that you’re aware of your options and can make an informed decision about your future.

A free hearing screening is a quick 15 minute appointment (we’re happy to go overtime) that is designed as an information gathering session for you to work out if your hearing is declining and what funding options might be available should intervention be required. This kind of assessment can be accessed via the HSP or self-funded through Value hearing and is offered at most clinics nationwide. To learn more about your eligibility and how to book an appointment, visit the HSP website or contact us directly.

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[amethystsoda]

Hiya Ari! I know this is so random but I have a certain new years revolution that I’d like to ask for some advice on. I have an 8 year old sister with ADHD, and I guess i'd just like to hear from someone who lives with it what I can do to help her as an older sibling? I'd really like to create a safe space for her where she can be heard and understood :)💚

Ruby! I'm so sorry I didn't get this one out yet. I've been really sick and not able to do any writing for a little.

I think one of the first things is understanding that everyone's version of ADHD might be a little different (I really like this comic from adhd-alien for showing how different types have overlap)

tbh I really like a lot of the comics from adhd-alien, so I'll link a few more if you want to read and you can always go into her archive for more:

adhd and emotions

2 sides of adhd

anxiety and adhd

tips for studying with someone who has adhd

I have crossover with autistic traits like having intense special interests, so I don't know if she also has that as well... But one good thing is making space if she wants to talk about special interests--and know she'd probably love to hear about what you're interested in too!

For some of the more inattentive or forgetful behaviors, it's nice for them to have a little notebook they can scribble in so they can make lists and look back at them. (for me it always helps me feel like I'm forgetting less stuff and helps me feel less frustrated with myself).

Sometimes fidget toys can help people with adhd stay in the moment if they're getting too bored. Stimming can help self soothe, but can also stimulate your brain. (here's an example of some behaviors that are part of the hyperactive behaviors that also are stim behaviors)

A lot of the time adhd kids are inattentive because they're not getting any mental stimulation and are so immensely bored they just zone out (I know from personal experience in school and later on like with driving--I'll almost fall asleep on the road for long car trips, simply because it's boring with the endless stretch of road).

Another big part of adhd is RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and being an HSP (Hyper Sensitive Person). People with ADHD can often be more emotionally sensitive--knowing that can help others understand when they have strong emotions!

The hypersensitive part also pops up as physically sensitive (can't stand fabric textures, some food textures bad, etc. All senses are more intense--which can lead to getting overstimulated and the need to decompress and have absolutely no stimulation, and some kids + adults may be nonverbal for a time)

Another key to being understanding is remembering that your little sister is still young--many kids with ADHD learn how to manage better as they get older and understand themselves more!

I think just learning more about what ADHD looks like, giving your sister time and not being too demanding if stuff gets done at a slower pace, and understanding about sensory stuff can go a long way!

Good luck this year with your resolution!