#human is based mostly on myself

[transingthoseformers]

I've been toying with a dragonformers au in my head. Not set in a particular canon, bit of a fusion of whatever I want.

So the transformers are dragons, obviously. But I'm torn between having it be about dragon riders, so Dot with Megatron, Raoul with Tracks, etc. Or a conservation area for wild dragons, with the humans basically being park rangers. Or a combo, a retirement area for dragons used for combat.

I'm sorry, I'm just tossing ideas about.

Hmmmm. Now, I'm not quite familiar with dragonformers as I've probably only read one? Fic with it, and even then i didn't quite finish the fic.

Buuuut, here's what I'm thinking here: a mixture, like you've suggested above. Some of them have grown up with humans their entire lives (or most of their lives) and have handlers. Some have had little to no human contact throughout their life up until this point. Some fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. I feel like it's exactly a good idea to suggest some are former military, but not all of them. Why do I suggest that last line? Hear me out, but

Dragon rehab.

[pochapal]

battler's just a hater because he never experienced the unique emotion of Being Fourteen and relying on supernatural powers to survive.

[oscill4te]

everything always peaks me. then im on the other side, see so much hostility, just as bad as what peaked me, and its like nvm. damn. oscillation at its finest.....

[violet-amet]

thinking writing stuff.

tackling some subjects, specifically trans and race, is a difficult thing for me, despite being hispanic, and trying to understand trans identity.

not every person has the same experience, so whether i do a good job writing it could be subjective, no matter how much i try to study and understand people of all sorts. i mostly write fluff and stuff, and adventure and romance, and just people with complicated lives dealing with their complicated matters as best as they can.

but i dont want to subconsciously do something that would cause a major outrage. growing up the way i did, some slang is rather common, and some phrases as well. for example, im often called caramel skin by my sister, which i see as an endearing phrase and compliment, but its not exactly a good thing for others to have their skin compared to food and sweets for different reasons.

so i will keep that out of my stories, and just hope i can write about a person skin color and background well.

same goes for gender identity.

and other things i have not talked about yet, such as disabilities.

hm.

[soft-spooks]

not my gay ass wanting to make yet another au 👉👈

[laureleikirsch]

UHHH, so I might try doing tarot spreads using Cards Against Humanity's base set... probably a four-card limit, 'cause I want to count one black and one white card as one "total" card pull (so a four-card spread would be four black cards and four corresponding white cards)

[hua-fei-hua]

pretty sure adhd has primed me perfectly for getting absolutely obsessed with video game optimization

[chisatowo]

I can't imagine being one of the ppl who legitimately make whole vocabularies for their fictional languages like bestie I couldn't make numbers without giving myself a headache how do you do it

[arolesbianism]

hello gamers minor life update I have been doing Real bad lately so I will likely continue to be very inactive, but hey on the bright side I have been fleshing out some eternal gales lore I reworked a while back and I can happily say that Dodie no longer completely contradicts the very nature of reality in eternal gales and the fog tower™ officially has a real reason to exist again so hell yeah to that

[lilacargent]

Soooo first post ever and it is because i have gone down the #humansarespaceorcs rabbit hole, and my train of thought was:

Yes humans are weird and do strange things to survive. But more specifically we do weird things to our surroundings to survive, many different things.

What if, it has been a decade or two since the humans joined what ever coalition or council of aliens that work together and as a species they are mostly well known for their ability to grow crops under the worst circumstances (soil, climate anything) ofcourse the other deathworld apex predator human traits make the rounds but over time they seem to assume we cannot surprise them anymore.

Everyone knows that if a planet is ‘owned’ by a certain species they have to pay tax to the coalition, so planets that aren’t particularly useful are undesirable.

This particular planet p-jx-5£2 has been moved around endlessly, given with trade deals to get rid of it. P-jx-5£2 is 97% water, with a very high salt level so inhabitable for all developed aliens. Even though the atmosphere is a nice oxygen base and the gravitational pull allright most for the coalition members the fast spinning moon and the planets quick pace around its sun make the water move and tides switch every 2.5 hours keeping no land dry outside of low tide.

~~~~~~~~

The tall Avian alian il’trexz was elated this day was going to be great, a trade deal with the hardy humans and getting rid of a useless money drain, they didn’t have a clue what they were signing up for!

Turning towards the much smaller bipedal species standing in front of the window looking down on the blue planet that just came into their possession the strange creature mumbled something to them selves, frowning Il’trezx asks ‘im sorry what did you say, you spoke but the translator didn’t pick it up?’ The human (Steve) turned to him away from the window ‘my apologies, i was talking to myself, i said that we had to send the dutch.’ Il’trezx looked befuddled ‘the dutch? Is that some kind of animal?’

Steve threw his head back and made a series of sounds that ruffled the Avians feathers and had he not known it was a laugh it would have made him run for the hills ‘HA I’m going to tell Andreas you said that, no the Dutch is what call people from a country on earth that specialise in these kinds of climates, they’ve been begging for a challenge since they stopped the flooding on the umavi home world.’ With feathers puffed up Il’trezx wonders ‘and they are going to do what? This is an impossible planet’ immediately clasping his beak he looks a the human to see if he seemed angry at being swindled, but to his surprise Steve just looks at him ‘hm so you believe we can’t use this planet. Allright let’s make a bet.’ Interested Il’trezx leans in closer ‘what kind of bet?’ A predatory grin spreads on the bipedal aliens face ‘if we make less of this planet than the amount of tax we have to pay over it we will cover all trade costs for this quarter, insurance, travel all of it.’ Eagerly Il’trezx starts nodding ‘but’ Steve keeps going ‘if we do make more of this planet you will do the same.’

The bet is put onto paper and the higher ups of both parties also agree. In 5 years the Avians would be back and they would balance the costs to the benefits. When they departed Il’trezx says too Steve ‘you must have a lot of faith in these “dutch” ‘ the man grins teeth bared ‘ofcourse, after all they conquered water before’

The five years pass and stories have been going around of a new energy supplier from the humans, producing enough energy to run 78% of their ships and several facilities. Nobody seems to know where it is coming from but no new pollution is measured in any of these facilities. None of this bothers the Avians, after all humans come up with new things all the time.

The five years are up and Il’trezx is invited to the planet with a group of advisors and other officials, the planet which apparently they have renamed to ‘posy’ which is supposed to be short for some kind of sea god from their olden days.

On arrival the amount of coming and going baffles them massive groups of ships docking or docked and all somehow attached to wires that run into machines.

The planets change alone was awe inspiring, two cities on opposite sides of the planet and what seems like millions of weird blades attached to high poles every where. Strange wheels and long walls between towers rising from the rapidly moving waters.

This… this was their new energy source. They somehow made a battery of this uninhabitable planet and then built a home.

On the meeting place Steve is waiting with a man slightly taller than him. Spreading his arms the smaller human says ‘welcome to Poseidon, this is Andreas our main mechanic here. He has been here with planning since orbit 1.’

After the introductions were done Andreas led the group through what they called the Northern city and showed on his device the steps it took to get a foothold and how they proceeded from there, mentioning that many of these steps his home country had used thousands of year ago to gain land from sea, and energy from the movement of water and air. They specialised in this form of terra forming and it showed.

The Avians were astounded, not having realised that there was more than one kind of way the Humans had battled their environment even beating back the waters of their world.

Without a doubt the humans had won the bet and had another legend added to their name. More and more humans showed that with the right motivation they could settle right about anywhere.

********

So yea… my stupid little idea. Hopefully someone will enjoy it. I just liked the idea of specific cultures and stuff. specialising in certain things.

Edit: im amazed people seem to like it! If people have ideas or other cultures they think would baffle aliens, im certainly willing to try and write something

[vincentbriggs]

Mr. Fiberglass looks very dashing and extremely gender. May I ask how you made that mask? It looks great and I may want one for myself 👀

Thank you!

It was 8 or 9 years ago so I don't remember it super well, but it's mostly cardboard and papier mâché. I built the base using cardboard boxes and a lot of masking tape, and you can still see some of the tape and cardboard inside the snout.

I made the horns by cutting 2 identical spiral shapes out of cardboard, and stretching them like a slinky, which is a much easier way to get them to spiral and be symmetrical than starting out with a straight thing and curving it. I'm pretty sure I bulked them up and got them to stay in that shape by taping lots of wads of crumpled up newspaper to the sides.

I covered the whole thing in layers of very cheap paper towel and Elmer's art paste, and used that to add a few little ridges and such.

The texture on the horns was made by just wrapping one long continuous strip of paper towel around and around, straight off the roll. (It was the really cheap stuff with no perforations and with obvious flecks of recycled paper in it.)

I have a piece of polyester batting shoved into the top because I didn't quite get it to the same shape as the top my head, and it's a bit uncomfortable.

It's also very hard to see in! I looked at photos of real sheep skulls for reference, and I put the eyes further forward to account for my human binocular vision, but they're still really far back and hard to see out of, so you have to look out the nose too.

I seem to remember first painting it with glossy acrylic paint, and then repainting it with matte paints because it just doesn't look as skull-like when shiny. The shading is awful because acrylic paints dry so dang fast, so it might be nice to go back and refine the texture a bit and repaint it again someday, but that's not at all on my priority list right now.

I hope this helps, and that you have fun making one!

[teencopandthesourwolf]

“Please.”

Stiles stands there, chewing on his pretty crimson lips, pleading.

Derek isn't fully clued in yet, but honestly, the kid is kind of vaguely breaking his heart.

“Please, Derek, I'm really sorry about this, but please just—just don't say anything, okay? And just—let me?”

Stiles had texted Derek earlier, at 3.17am, presumably just before he’d set off from his house to drive his jeep to the loft.

Derek had been lying awake in bed, unable to sleep.

His messages had read:

> dude, i rlly need to come over. that ok?

And:

> ill let myself in if thats cool?

And after a few moments, in quick succession one after the other and before Derek had a chance to respond:

> and i rlly need u to just like. not get out of bed. presuming yr already in bed

> all shall be revealed

> lol i don't know why i put that

> and obvs tell me if any of this is not ok. ok?

> as if you wouldn't lol

> #sourwolf

> and yeah i know im being a weirdo but thats why you like me

And then, a few seconds later:

> right?

Derek had stared at the flurry of messages for a minute or so, then texted back:

Okay, weirdo <

About ten minutes later, Stiles had let himself into the building. Derek listened to the kid muttering away to himself as he rode the old service elevator—except it wasn't really himself he was talking to.

“God, I hope I'm not wrong about this. Like, I think we're close enough now for it not to be weird. I mean, at least I hope we are. I'm just so fucking tired, man, and have got to get me some sleep. Anyways, just—don't get up, okay? Or, like, can you get into bed if you're not already in bed? Sorry, I know I texted you this already, I just really need you to trust me. You do know you can trust me… Right, big guy?”

Derek's trust of Stiles was implicit.

When the steel door had unlocked and slid open, Derek smelled fresh, mostly unscented shower gel over the base notes of Stiles's own cinnamon scent, mixed with the very definite chemo-signals that indicated fear, restlessness, apprehension—and also, the strongest of them all; hope.

Let me.

Here, now, Derek still doesn't know what the kid needs.

Let him what?

Derek doesn't have any more time to wonder, though, because Stiles is taking off his sneakers and pants and is slowly, very slowly—as if giving Derek the chance to protest—climbing into bed next to him.

Stiles is now in Derek's loft in the small hours, in Derek's bed, fully under Derek's covers, with Derek wearing only his grey tank and black boxer-briefs and a probably terrified look on his face.

He silently thanks the universe for the cover of night.

“Like, you should obviously say something if this is completely heinous or whatever, but otherwise just—let me do this?”

And all Derek can think is shit, he's freezing, at the same time he is going into a some sort of dumbstruck shock because Stiles is now wrapping his entire sinewy, beautiful body around the entirety of Derek's.

“This okay?” Stiles asks, the air around them spiking with the smell of his anxiety as he Big-Spoons Derek like some human-shaped octopus, skinny but strong limbs astonishingly everywhere.

And he sounds so unsure, and so small, and Derek can't bear it.

Not giving the stoic part of his brain any opportunity to talk him out of doing this, Derek takes ahold of Stiles's wrist from where the kid had draped one of his long arms around Derek's midriff, and hangs on as firmly but gently as he can, manoeuvring them both around in the bed so that Stiles is now the Little Spoon.

“This okay?” he asks gingerly, mirroring Stiles because his own words are failing him.

Stiles says, “Yeah. Even better,” and his anxiety is melting away into something much more pleasing; something like relief.

Derek breathes out the word, “Good,” and feels a little dizzy and a lot amazed, and kind of like his heart is beating wildly in his throat.

The only reason he knows it isn't, is because Stiles says, “I can feel your heart thumping away in your chest, man. But, uh, I don't have wolfy senses, so… I can't tell if it's good thumping or bad thumping.”

Then he promptly stops breathing.

Derek resists the desperate, learnt urge to run away from this. He mentally shakes himself and figures: After so many years fighting monsters together, maybe he and Stiles can fight this one together, too?

He gives himself a moment to ride out the panic, then screws his eyes shut and, praying to nobody in particular, whispers, “Good thumping,” into the shell of Stiles's ear.

Stiles shivers and breathes again, but doesn't say anything else. For once, he doesn't need to. He just needs to sleep.

As the kid settles into Derek's bed and Derek's embrace and, hopefully, Derek's life, he smells like a mix of serene and content and promise—and also, wonderfully, of Derek, now.

Derek is a strange combination of relaxed and freaking-the-fuck-out because that's just the way he's made. His brain won't stop whirring at a speed of a million miles an hour, worrying about everything and nothing, all at once, and before he can bite into his lip to stop himself, he blurts out, “Cora says I sometimes dream-talk about Cajun Gumbo recipes.”

Stiles's only sighs, then hums quietly, his breathing already evening out almost to the point of sleep.

Just when Derek thinks he's not going to get any sort of real answer, Stiles mumbles, “Okay, weirdo,” on an exhale, and then he's drifting off into unconsciousness.

Derek settles then, and smiles into the nighttime thinking that maybe, finally, he might get a good night's sleep, too.

.

for @shealynn88, the bestest of friends. i love you and miss you always... <3 (unedited btw—forgive me!)

[thechaoticdruid]

[We'll Protect Each Other]

Paring: F!Tav x Astarion

Plot: While staying at an inn in the Underdark an unfortunate chain of events forces Tav and Astarion to protect one another.

Content Warnings: Fiercely protective Tav, Tav uses She/Her pronouns, Tav is kinda feral and unhinged, blood, gore, threats of/ literal genital trauma, we are going game of thrones up in this bitch, sexual harassment, brief allusions to Astarion's trauma, violence, so much fucking violence, death, Tav is heavily based on my own Tav Winnie. Oh and a little fluff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tav hummed as she sat at the tavern table, glancing down upon the suspicious letter she'd received last night. 

‘I'll see you soon, True Soul.’

Been a while since she was called that, almost everyone who had referred to her as a ‘true soul’ was dead now so being addressed as such was rather peculiar, but at the same time not completely unwelcome. Tav smirked slightly, the idea of a new foe to face sparked excitement. It had been so long since the human druid had a good fight.  Since the defeat of the Elder Brain she'd been staying in the Underdark, looking after a horde of hungry vampire spawn. Her days weren't uneventful in the slightest, but gods did she miss adventuring. 

Tav's lover was over at the bar getting the two something to drink. Since the Underdark has become home to seven thousand life-challenged individuals this particular inn had made preparations to feed them should any appear at the establishment. He tapped his claws on the table, waiting for the bartender to finish mixing up their beverages as an uneasy feeling coursed through his body. Astarion had felt unfamiliar eyes on him since he'd left to get him and his beloved some refreshments. His blood red eyes darted back and scanned the tavern. Tav was still waiting at their table and mostly all the other patrons there happened to be deep gnomes, all who seemed much more concerned with friendly banter. But then he spotted someone off in the corner. A tall half-orc whose eyes seemed trained on him.  Astarion wasn't exactly sure how he didn't spot the big oaf sooner, usually he was far more perceptive than this, but perhaps his hunger had him quite distracted. The elven vampire tapped on the bar table impatiently wondering exactly what was taking the bartender so long. 

Eventually the half-drow barmaid brought over the drinks.

“Sorry for the wait.” She said softly, “not used to preparing food for our night time visitors.” The half-elf handed him a cold mug of dessert wine and a warm mug of ethically precured lifeblood.

Astarion took the drinks before turning and making his way back.  The half-orc then made his move, walking straight towards him.  

“Have a drink with me, handsome?” The half-orc gave a flirtatious smile, making the elf internally sigh in annoyance.

“No, I think not. My partner is waiting for me, you see.” Astarion gave a forced smile before attempting to make his way back to Tav. A large green hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Come on! Surely you're not talking about the little rat’s nest of hair? Sweetheart, I could show you things that little human wench couldn't even dream of-”

The elf quickly slapped his hand away. 

“Oh, I highly doubt you could show me anything I haven't already done myself. Now bugger off.” Astarion growled out the last part, barring his fangs at the orc before stomping off. 

Tav glanced up as Astarion took a seat next to her. He had a look of discomfort on his face, but quickly bushed it off as he noticed her attention on him.  “I'm back, my sweet.” Astarion smiled at Tav, setting their drinks down before planting a kiss on her cheek.

“You okay, doll? You seem uncomfortable.” Tav put her hand on his shoulder only to receive a small smile as his hand covered her own.

“I'm fine, love. Just a little annoyed by the wait is all.” Astarion squeezed her hand gently, not wanting her to worry. 

“Okay….” Tav said before looked back down at the letter, taking a sip from the wine Astarion had brought her. 

“What's that?” Astarion asked, sliding an arm over her shoulders before taking a sip from his own mug and internally sighing.

Rothé blood….

“Just an ominous threatening letter left by gods know who.” Tav said casually, nearly making Astarion spit out his blood. 

“Ah darling, perhaps you should be a just little more concerned about this?” 

“I'm not afraid. Let them come get me! I've been itching for a good fight for ages!” Tav clenched her fist, a wicked grin spread across her face. 

“Oh Tav, you know what that bloodlust look does to me.~” Astarion flirted leaning closer against his love. “But maybe we should be at least a bit more careful?”

“We’ve dealt with plenty of baddies before, Star. It’ll be fine!” Tav insisted.

“Need I remind you that there are only two of us now since the others have all gone their separate ways.” Astarion sighed, “I just worry for you, my dear.” 

“I know babe.” Tav planted a kiss on his cheek affectionately before saying,”I'll tell you what, once we get everything sorted out with the other spawn we'll recruit some new traveling companions and go after that ring of the sunwalker thing I heard about.” This brought a smile to the vampire’s lips. 

Large footsteps were heard stomping over to the table. Astarion glanced up seeing the half-orc from before approaching them.

“Sorry about my behavior before sweetness. I've just never seen such a breathtaking looking creature such as yourself. So, how about you ditch the runt and i'll take you somewhere we can get you something better to drink…. Perhaps someone?~” 

“Are you daft? I told you to bugger off!” Astarion snarled, glaring daggers at the large male. Astarion kept his arm around Tav in a protective manner, but it was more so for his own comfort truth be told. The half-orc was really making him uneasy. Tav could feel Astarion shake a little. 

“Hey, no need to be like that, I just want a piece of that tight little elven as-”  The half-orc was suddenly silenced by a scimitar pressed dangerously close to his groin.

“You really don't want to finish that sentence, big guy.” Tav said calmly, not even looking up at the green bastard. “You know I’ve been really itching to slit someone's throat lately, but you….I think I might have fun with you…” She said before finally turning her head towards him, a sadistic grin spread across her lips. 

“Y-You better watch yourself y-you little b-b-bitch!” He whined out the last part feeling Tav press her blade harder against his clothed crotch.

“Oh I like this!” Tav breathed out, voice unhinged and full of bloodlust as the half-orc began to shake in terror. “A big stupid creep thinks he can push me around just because I'm small…It's almost cute how pathetic you are. I should cut you open and show everyone what you really are inside. A gutless coward!” Tav stared at him intensely. The wicked grin spread across her lips didn't falter even for a second, until eventually she sighed.

“But it'd be rude to get blood all over Lyn’s nice clean floors.” Tav said, speaking of the half-drow bartender. “So you're going to leave now and never come near my lover again, or I'll cut your cock off and shove it down your throat. Understand?” Tav spat, nearly stabbing the blade of her scimitar through the orc’s pants.

“Y-Yes m-ma’m!” The half-orc said in a high pitch tone. 

“Good boy.” Tav pulled her blade back, “now get the fuck out of my sight.” She growled, causing the green creep to turn and make a run for it, slamming the door on his way out of the tavern. All the gnomes had seemed to halt their chatter and look over to the two lovers.

“Tav…” Astarion muttered in an irritated tone, “I didn't need you to defend me! I had that completely under control!” He fussed, clearly embarrassed because of the scene Tav had caused. 

“I'm sure you did sweetie, but you can't just expect me to sit by and do nothing when some pervert keeps treating you like a piece of meat.” Tav said calmly. 

“Darling that orc was huge! What if you hadn't been quick enough!? What if he comes back!?”

“Honey, I can literally turn into an owlbear.” Tav rolled her eyes. “I know you’re capable of kicking ass, Star. I have no doubt about that. But I don’t protect you because I think you're weak. I do it because I love you.” Tav said sweetly, placing her hand against his cheek. “And sometimes it's okay to need someone to protect you…” She looked down at his trembling hands. Fear began to stir in her gut, worried that he might have been triggered by the situation. Astarion simply place his hand over hers and relaxed into her touch. 

“I know. I love you too…It's just…I want to be able to protect the both of us…” Astarion glanced off to the side.

“You can! Babe, you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for! You practically carried our team the entire time we were worm brained!” Tav placed a second hand on the other side of his face. Astarion rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

“Gods Tav, you're such a bad liar.” 

“I'm not lying!” Tav chuckled, “I'm pretty sure you have more kills than the rest of us combined! You're so stealthily and quick! The fuckers never saw it coming!” 

“Well perhaps I could be willing to allow you to win this little debate. Granted you continue to list off all of my many talents, or you can just call me beautiful and we can head upstairs for the evening?” 

“You're beyond beautiful, my Star.” Tav purred. 

        •~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The night was quiet as Tav and Astarion rested on the top floor of the Inn. Both of them snug in their bed. Astarion always had a tendency to curl around Tav as she slept and he tranced. However, tonight Tav lay there, eyes wide open. Her mind for some reason wandering off to a memory brought on by today's events.

“I assume he belongs to you.” The drow’s eyes leered over Astarion lustfully as she spoke about his as if he was nothing but cattle.

“Excuse me? I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like he's a fucking piece of property.” Tav snapped, stepping in front of her companion protectively. Of course she'd see him that way. The drow treat all their men like cattle. The fact didn't make Tav any less insulted. 

“Now now. No need to speak like that. I only wish to make a trade.” The drow said calmly, however her stare seemed to harden a little. “What is your name, spawn?” 

“It’s Astarion but hold on!” Astarion put his hands up as if to keep some distance between him the drow. 

“Astarion, I've dreamt of being bitten by a vampire since I was a little girl.” She purred. Tav shot the drow a look which she ignored, red eyes locked on Astarion’s mouth.

“Let me get this straight, you want to be bitten?” Astarion asked, a look of confusion and disgust filled his face. Normally he would jump at a chance to sink his teeth into a willing person, hells part of him wanted to drain this bitch dry because of how she talked about him, but this drow pretty as she was her blood smelled worse than death itself! Just being in her presence was enough to make him want to gag! 

“To feel my life’s essence slipping away, to dance on the edge of death, yes I want it.” She said, nearly swooning. “I'll even compensate you. A potion of legendary power. It's not for sale, but it's yours if you bite me.” 

“I will have to decline.” Astarion said immediately.

“Excuse me? This is a once and a lifetime opportunity and you're squandering it!” 

“I gave you my answer!” Astarion spat. The drow woman ignored him and immediately turned to Tav. 

“Can't you talk some sense into your obstinate charge!?” She demanded.

“He said no. The hells do you not understand?” The druid snapped.

Gods, Tav couldn't help but think back to her first encounter with Araj the drow blood merchant. This incident today reminded her far too much of it. Except this time it might have been worse. The fucking orc actually tried to put his hands on him.

Tav furrowed her eyebrows and glanced back over to Astarion’s peaceful looking face. She knew he could handle himself in a fight, but the situation was different. These sorts of things really got to him. Tav ran her fingers gently through his hair. She needed to keep safe no matter what. Sleep took Tav eventually and she snuggled into her vampire’s embrace, enjoying the coolness of his skin.  And for a while the two were at peace, blissfully unaware of what lurked in the shadows.

It was probably about midnight when Tav woke up. She whimpered and felt around the bed for her lover, only feeling emptiness in his place. 

“Astarion?” Her eyes slowly blinked open and Tav sat up. She glanced around the room discovering the vampiric elf was nowhere in sight.  She tried to rationalize that Astarion was probably just up and around since he didn't need as much rest as she did, but Tav couldn't help but feel anxiety creep its way into the back of her mind.  She got to her feet before slowly feeling a dagger be pressed against her throat. 

“Nice to see you again, true soul…” A familiar feminine voice spoke softly in Tav's ear, causing her to grit her teeth as she looked back. 

“Araj? The hells are you doing all the way out here?” Tav sneered. 

“I needed to see you again. I require your help.” 

“I told you before, you aren't getting any more of my blood and if you even think of bringing up Astarion so help me-”

“This isn't about him, darling. This is about you. I am on the verge of something extraordinary, but I need one key ingredient. Your heart.” Araj slowly dragged the knife down her throat and down between her breasts.

Tav rolled her eyes before chuckling.

“Sweet, but you know I'm spoken for.” In a swift motion the druid slammed her foot down on the drow's own before grasping hold of her wrist and forcing the blade away from her body.

“You idiots! Get in here and help me!” Araj suddenly shouted, prompting the door to open, revealed two half-orc male’s and a female. 

With them was Astarion bound with silver chains wrapped around his body. Cloth was tied around his mouth, preventing him from speaking, but Tav could very clearly hear him whimpering in pain. The silver was burning his skin! 

“Now cooperate or else! I'll make sure our darling bloodsuck-” Tav didn't even give the drow a moment to speak any further before knocking the blade from her hand and slamming her fist into her face with enough force to knock Araj to the floor. Araj hit the ground with a thud, seemingly knocked unconscious from the blow. The druid’s eyes quickly went back to Astarion who was struggling and letting out muffled cries of pain, but despite this he looked far more pissed off than afraid.  That didn't calm the rage that was stirring deep inside Tav however, and the fact that the same gods damned perverted orc from before was holding onto Astarion's silver chains just pushed her over the edge. 

Without even thinking Tav dropped to the ground transforming into a huge direwolf before letting out a deep bloodthirsty snarl and lunging right for the familiar half orc. Her jaws sank right into his groin, causing him to let out a blood curdling scream.

“Bloody hells! Get that thing off of him!” The female half-orc shouted. 

“But the vampire!?” The other male orc replied.

“He's tied up you dumb fuck!” She shouted before turning to attack Tav. Tav yanked her head back hard, tearing a chunk out of the half-orc’s flesh and trousers. The half orc continued to scream as Tav spat his unmentionables out before he tumbled over and began to bleed out on the floor. 

“That crazy drow bitch better pay us good for this.” The remaining male half-orc muttered before charging at Tav alongside the female. 

Tav quickly dove under his legs before bucking him to the ground with her back and darting right for Astarion. Astarion shook his head as his wildshaped lover approached him with a doglike whine and sunk her teeth into his chains, trying to he them off him. She was only able to allow one of his arms to slip free. Astarion quickly tore the cloth around his head. 

“For gods' sake Tav! Look out!” He shouted, before suddenly the female half-orc slammed into Tav from behind, wrapping her arms around her in a headlock. 

“I've got her! I've got her!” The female orc shouted. Tav growled loudly before turning round and sinking her teeth into the orc female’s shoulder. In the struggle the two ended up tumbling down the stairs and out the front door of the tavern.  The half-orc male was about to run off after his female companion when suddenly he noticed Astarion had somehow slipped free from his bindings. The vampire’s skin was quickly healing from the burns left from the silver, and his eyes almost appeared to be glowing red. He clenched and unclenched his fists revealing sharp claw-like fingernails and the next thing the half-orc knew were icy fangs piercing his throat.

Outside the tavern, Tav and the female orc were still going at it. The half orc threw a punch to Tav's head knocking her back before she took out a blade and took a stab at the direwolf only for Tav to dart out of the way at the last second and take a bit at the orc woman’s leg. 

“You godsdamn mutt!” She yelled, kicking Tav in the face before plugging her blade into her back.

Tav howled in pain and backed up, blood trickling down her back and staining her fur.  She let out a pained whimper as she looked up at the half-orc.

The she-orc smirked triumphantly.

“Not so high and mighty now are you, druid?” She huffed starring Tav right in the eyes. Without another word Tav lunged at the orc with a monstrous growl, sinking her jaws into the green female's head. 

“GODS DAMNIT!!” The half-orc screamed. Tav sunk her claws into her shoulders as she stood up on her hind legs and dug her teeth into the orc's skull.  Then with a harsh whip of her head Tav snapped her opponent’s neck. The druid then released the orc, letting her drop to the ground.

Tav dropped back down on all fours with a sigh, panting a little from the fight. She turned her head and yanked the blade from her back. Luckily in this form she wouldn't actually be harmed. But she was honestly feeling far too tired to stay in her wildshape now. Slowly she transformed back, taking a moment to regain her strength. 

“A-Astarion…I-I need to get back to Astarion…” Tav told herself. 

“I'm afraid you won't be seeing him again.” Araj suddenly stepped out from the shadows, blade in hand. “I am not leaving without your heart!” She hissed. 

“Oh for fucks sake! Don't you ever get tired of being a psycho!?” Tav hissed, she quickly reached for her weapon, but this time Araj was quicker.  She stabbed her blade into Tav's leg making her freeze. 

“What….W-What is this!?” Tav sputtered, suddenly feeling her limbs begin to tingle and go numb. She tried to move, but her body just felt so heavy. 

“A paralysis potion I've been keeping for a rainy day. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to use it. I have no idea what affects it will have on your heart unfortunately, but I can't let you get away.” Araj stopped as she watched Tav whimper and squirm on the ground. The silver haired female wiped her blade clean off the potion before she then undid the buttons on Tav's shirt, exposing her chest.

“Now I'll need a nice clean cut. I don't want to damage your heart too badly.” The drow licked her lips before dragging the tip of her blade over Tav’s chest. “Just close your eyes and it'll be all over…” Tears began to form in the corners of Tav’s eyes, heart pounding so hard she was sure it’d burst right out before that damn drow bitch would even have a chance to cut into it.

“Get away from my Tav.” Astarion suddenly growled out, appearing behind Araj who quickly turned and struck at him with her blade. 

“Not until I have her heart!” Araj hissed.

Astarion ducked out of the way, unsheathing his own blade and taking a swing at her.  His dagger barely nicked the side of her cheek as she dodged, drawing a few drops of blood.

“Gods below, it's even more foul smelling than before!” He made a gagging sound.

“Mock me all you like! It won't stop me!” Araj took another stab at Astarion aiming right for his throat, but he quickly grabbed her wrists and pushed her back towards the ground. Now that he was free of the tadpole his vampiric strength returned and it gave him an edge in battle.

“You know darling, I think I may have had a sudden change of heart. I may just bite you after all.” Astarion said, forcing a grin upon his face. 

“What-” Confusion flickered over her face for a split second, immediately being followed by Astarion sinking his fangs into her neck, but instead of drinking her blood, he tore her throat right out.  

Astarion immediately spat out any of her blood that had gotten into his mouth before watching her drop to the ground, a twisted smile plastered over her face. “I-Incredible….” She choked out before suddenly coughing up an alarming amount of blood. 

 He quickly disregarded her lifeless body and swiftly moved to Tav who was still paralyzed on the ground. 

“My love, are you alright?” Astarion knelt down and cradled her head with one hand.

“I-I can't m-move….S-She got me with a paralysis poison…” Tav croaked out.

“Hang in there lover.”Astarion frowned, looking down at Tav with worry. He immediately scooped her up bridal-style. “I'm going to take you to Dalyria. She should be able to cure this.” Astarion carried Tav back into the tavern. Several of the patrons were whispering to each other. Some seemed deathly afraid of Astarion and his love. The vampire spawn simply ignored them.

“I don't think we're going to be welcome here any longer, Star.” Tav said as Astarion set her down on a sofa near the tavern fireplace.  

“Forget them, darling. We're leaving anyway. Now sit tight while I grab our things.” Astarion said, kissing her forehead before quickly going upstairs to get their packs. Tav sat by the fire, she could see the barmaid Lyn giving her an awfully ugly look. 

Good gods, it's not our fault we were attacked.

Tav rolled her eyes. It didn't take long for Astarion to return with their things.  Tav weakly nuzzled her face into his neck as Astarion scooped her back up into his arms. Tav stared up at him with adoration as he carried her out. 

“You did it, you know.” She hummed.

“What are you on about?’ Astarion glanced down at her.

“You protected me!” Tav exclaimed with a weak smile, “and thank the gods you did. I was sure I was a goner.”

“You give me far too much credit, my love. I still allowed you to get injured. You did a much better job than I.” Astarion huffed. 

“You kidding? You just saved my life Astarion and this isn't even the first time.” Tav insisted. “Look, from now on no more arguing over who protects who. We protect each other and that's final.” 

“You're being awfully demanding of someone who can't even move her arms, my dear.” Astarion chuckled, “but I am grateful all the same.”

He planted another kiss upon Tav's forehead before continuing on to meet up with his sister and hopefully cure his beloved’s ailment.

The two set off, leaving the tavern to deal with three battered corpses and a mysterious trail of blood…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note from TheChaoticDruid: Phew! Finally got this thing out! Honestly despite finding her a very shitty person and absolutely despising how she treats Astarion I can't help but find Araj interesting. The whole thing with blood and heck the creepy shit you find in her basement makes me want to know more about her. Kinda went a little overboard with this in terms of violence I guess, but I kinda wish there were more bg3 fics with some action in them. Also, I may have kinda ignored how silver and vampires work in DnD, but BG3 plays fast and loose with lore so I guess I will too. Hope you like it!

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

Interview With A Ghost

Red Robin, (aka Tim Drake) decides to host a YouTube series called "Teenage Hero Burnout'' after he makes a video by the same name talking about his own experiences.

He interviews current and past heroes who started their careers as teens and discuss how it shaped their outlook on heroing & life in general. His primary focus is on current teen heroes. Once he runs through his whole team roster and all willing (and unwilling) BatFam members he branches out to look for more obscure teen heroes. (Inadvertently he ends up building a support network for young heroes but that's for another time.)

Ficlet under the cut vvv (Ao3 Link)

Today the "studio" is decorated with little ghosts and miscellaneous Halloween decorations to match his guest's theme. Clearly a homemade set, but RR has a high-quality camera and sound equipment. Today's episode is titled "Teenage Hero Burnout #56: Interview With A Ghost.”

Phantom is sitting in his chair invisibly with a cup of coffee (the coffee mug has his DP logo on it), which of course makes it look like RR is interviewing a floating cup of coffee. But every now and then the camera picks up a blurry shadow in the shape of a person. Super creepy. (And in case you were wondering, yes, this is 100% the Halloween special.)

"Let's get this over with already," Phantom mumbles into his mug, taking a sip. Red Robin ignores his guest's comment and continues his little intro. 

"Welcome back everyone! I hope all you Birdies have been taking care of yourselves since the last episode. Today's guest is Amity Park's Phantom. A lesser known small-town hero, but no less of a powerhouse who has helped the Justice League themselves on several occasions. Say ‘hi’ Phantom.”

The floating coffee mug rises and bobs in the air like someone making a salute with it.

"Thanks man, I totally feel like I’m not talking to myself,” Red Robin mutters.

“Calm your shorts bird boy, do you have any idea how crazy ghosts get around this time of year?”

“No, but it sounds like I should put an underage drinking disclaimer on this video.”

“It’s not underage when you’re in a different dimension.”

“And jumping off of THAT robust rebuttal, since we're using this series to focus on the experience of teen heroes here, let's start with how old you are, Phantom?"

"What are you, a cop?”

Red Robin glares intently at the seemingly vacant chair beside him.

“Kidding, kidding. Do you want my ghost age or my human age?"

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"Well, the whole phantom thing isn't just a gimmick. I am an actual, bonafide member of the afterlife. Age isn't as straightforward for us. It could be my assumed age based on my appearance, how old I was when I became a ghost, how old I'd be if I were still alive, or how long I've been dead. Which is only three years, by the way. Shocker, I know. Despite what some people think, I'm not an ancient trickster ghost with the face of a child."

"Don't worry Phantom, we'll give you a century or two to work on it first. How about you tell us how old you were when you first started acting as a hero?"

"Same as when I died, fourteen."

"So that makes you roughly seventeen now."

"In human terms, yeah."

"And what are your pronouns?"

"He/him"

"Nice, same. Any fun facts about yourself before we get into the real meat of things?

"Uuuuuuuuh, do I have any facts about me that are fun? I really like flying? Yeah. Flying is probably my favourite power. I love being up in the air. It's the best."

"We know you started heroing about three years ago, but can you tell uus why you started heroing? Were there any inciting incidents?"

"Ah, origin-story time. Amity Park has always been a thin spot between this world and the next with lots of natural ghost activity. Mostly just small stuff. There are thin spots all over the world. Sometimes they get thinner, sometimes they move or close up entirely. It's just another weird part of nature. But when ghosts in Amity started coming through the veil at a more rapid rate and clashing with the living residents I just felt like it was my...duty? I guess? To protect the town. I wanted to protect my family and friends from other ghosts."

"You still have living relatives and friends?"

"Yeah, it's complicated but we make it work."

"I'm glad you've got a diverse support system, especially since you haven't been a ghost for very long. Also mini PSA to the audience:" RR gestures to Phantom to pick up where he left off.

"Never ask a ghost about their death unless you'd like an express ticket to your own funeral. Red Robin cleared these questions with me ahead of time."

"Are you still an active hero?"

"Yes."

"What kind of villains do you normally face?

"Ghosts." 

"What about ghost hunters? In fact, do you consider yourself a ghost hunter?" 

"I used to think of myself as a ghost hunter in the early days but now I think ghost fighter is a better label for what I do."

"And human ghost hunters?"

"Uuuuugh, yeah. Sometimes I have to deal with humans hunting me. The Fentons and Red Huntress have chilled out and I have truces with them but the GIW fucking sucks. If you ever have a ghost problem, never call the Gits In White. They will make your problems worse and the anti-ecto acts that let them get away with it are inhumane and discriminatory." 

"Yikes. Human troubles aside, do you have a traditional rogues gallery of ghostly enemies?" 

"I guess? To be honest I've become frenemies with a lot of the ghosts that used to give me a hard time. There's a lot more diplomacy and negotiating in fighting ghosts than you'd think." 

"Any examples you're willing to share?" 

"Hmmm, I'll use Ember as an example because she'll appreciate the free press. So Ember loves making music and she's really good at it. Like, good enough to literally hypnotize people. Obviously, mind control and enslaving the living are no-nos in my haunt. But because most ghosts can't stray too far from a steady source of Ectoplasm without an alternate energy source Ember didn't have many options. We got stuck in this cycle of her controlling people to get enough energy to leave Amity and me not letting her control people while in Amity. Eventually, we talked it out and found some non-mind control methods to help her get out and establish her music career in a safe and healthy way. That's Ember McClain by the way, check out her new album 'Domino Effect'." 

"Shameless." 

"I owe her a favour or two. Nowadays we only fight to blow off steam and hang out."

"Sounds like we have another tally for rehabilitation being the most effective method for dealing with villains."

"Wow, you really have a board for that?"

"The power of friendship is not to be underestimated."

"Sort of related to that; earlier I was planning to say that I've made more friends after dying than I ever did alive for my fun fact but I figured that was kind of depressing to start off with." 

"I mean when you say it like that, yes. How about we re-frame it? You didn't get the opportunities to make more friends during your life, but as a ghost, you've been given a second chance to make as many friends as you can! And it sounds like you've been pretty successful in the new friend department so far."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that is a better way to look at it. Sure wish I didn't have to get my ass kicked so often before I figured it out, though." 

"Eh, sometimes the learning process sucks. But you know what doesn't suck? Bingo time!" Red Robin hits a buzzer and little ghost confetti rains down on them. The outline of Phantom is more visible because of the little clumps that land on him.

Hero BINGO cards:

Free Space (Hero Complex) "I refuse to use the free space." "I mean, it's a free space, it counts whether you want to use it or not." ":/"

Gone to Space "Yup, another fun fact, ghosts can do just fine in space."

Been to Another Dimension "I actively live in another dimension."

Visited an Alternate Timeline "Unfortunately."

Saved the world "Technically."

Have you ever been cloned Sigh, “Yes” "Dude, really? How does that even work?"

Kidnapped "Yep." "Who hasn't?"

Imprisoned "Isn't this the same as being kidnapped?" "Nah this one's more formal, like detained by a government body or authority." "Ah, okay. I got that one too."

Impersonated "Oh yeah."

Mind-controlled "Glad to know I'm not the only one."

Died and Resurrected "..." "..." “How alive do you have to be for it to count as a resurrection? Like, percentage-wise. 50%?”

Fought an Evil Version of Yourself "This highly specific and traumatic thing is a common enough problem to be a BINGO card?" “Yeup.” “Yeeesh. But again, glad to know I’m not the only one.”

Have an Arch Nemesis "That's like, a prerequisite. This should be the free space."

An Adult Mentor "Kind of? I honestly don't know if I can say yes to this one." "Have you ever had an adult train you or help you with being a hero and/or your abilities?" "I'm going to pass this one and just say no. My head hurts thinking about the adults in my life." “That’s fair.”

Dead Parents "Isn't this one a little dark?" "Sometimes the best way to start addressing your trauma is by laughing at it. And yes, it is also a highly specific and traumatic thing common enough among teen heroes to be on the bingo cards." "Jesus."

Government-funded Experimentation "Oh come ooooon! This whole thing has to have been tailored for me." "Dude… I take it back, Hero Bingo hates you. What even is your afterlife?" "Endless suffering."

A Social Life "Surprisingly, yes." 

Last of Your Species "Unfortunately, no."

Poisoned "Ye- wait. Wait no, I've never been poisoned. How is that even possible with my luck?" "Knock on wood right now dude."

Homemade Costume “Weellll….” “I feel like that should be a yes or no answer…” “Does it count as homemade if I died in it?” RR face-palms.

School Dance Interrupted “Weirdly enough, yes.” “It happens way more often than you’d think and we have no clue why.”

Evil Ancestor “Does a witch hunter count as evil? In modern context, yes, but in a historical context...?” “I’d go with evil. Burning or drowning people usually puts you solidly in the evil category. Regardless of whether or not they cursed your dick to look like a toad or whatever.”

Framed for a Crime “YES, AND I WILL NEVER GET MY RECORD EXPUNGED BECAUSE ‘A CRAZY CLOWN MADE ME DO IT’ IS ONLY AN ACCEPTABLE DEFENSE IN GOTHAM.”

Your Crush/SO is Evil “Thankfully no. I mean she used to shoot me a lot, but she also thought I was the evil one.”

"I have like, six BINGO's. Is this supposed to be difficult?" “Not really, but man, your luck...”

"Well… BINGO was… interesting. How about we finish up the last few questions?" 

"Have at it."

"Like a lot of supers, your relationship with the media hasn't been the best. Are there any common rumours or misconceptions about you that you'd like to clear up?"

"YES. For the last time, ghosts are NOT INHERENTLY EVIL. The vast majority of ghosts stay in the ghost zone and mind their own business. The ghosts that cause trouble for the living are like 1% of the population and even then, the ones who actively go out of their way to hurt people are an extreme minority. Ghosts in the mortal world are most likely there because they're lost or completing unfinished business. We are not mindless or emotionless, and YES, we can still feel pain. If you have had a negative interaction with a ghost, chances are you probably did something to piss them off first. That's not to say that all ghosts are safe to be around. Treat ghosts like people. Don't bother them unnecessarily, don't ask invasive and overly personal questions, and be polite."

"We should do a whole Ghost Safety PSA Mythbusters style one of these days."

"Honestly, I would be so down for that."

"Sweet. Do you feel being a teen hero has negatively impacted your mental health, why or why not?

"Yuuuuup. The saving people part is nice. The dying and being dead part is less nice. Also, being hated for my species while still trying to protect the people who hate me has been hell for my self-esteem. I somehow have a social life but it's about half as dead as I am. 

"Getting the shit beat out of me is more my physical than mental health but I've been told that constantly being on edge and expecting to get attacked at any moment isn't good for your mental health. I guess I don't have to deal with receiving or inflicting lasting injuries and facing mortality the same way heroes like you do since ghosts are pretty much indestructible. 

"But seeing what comes out on the other side of death, and hearing the horrific things some ghosts went through to manifest is its own can of worms. You haven't had real mental scars until you've been trapped in a room with someone reliving their own death over and over and over with no way to help them." 

"Shit." 

"Yeah. Don't die. Or if you do, don't become a ghost. The afterlife is fucked up."

"If you're still active, will you continue heroing into your adult life, or in this case, for the rest of your afterlife? 

"Yes. I'm pretty sure I'm locked in for the rest of my existence." 

"How so?" 

"My… purpose, I guess you could call it, is helping and protecting people. As long as there are people getting themselves into danger I'll have a reason to be around. Never-ending unfinished business." 

"That's… wow. I can't imagine doing what I do for the rest of eternity." 

"Yeah, me neither." 

"Hm?" 

"Sorry, I know this is supposed to be about positive mental health and stuff but… I'm going to keep doing this until it ends me. I don't really have any other options. But I don't see myself doing this for eternity either. Somewhere along the way, hopefully a couple lifetimes from now, the hero life will take me out for good and that'll be that."

"I do try to put an emphasis on thinking positive but you're more than welcome to share the dark parts too. We can't grow if we focus on only the palatable thoughts and feelings. I can't begin to understand what it feels like to be in your situation. Do you think that you're fatalistic or realistic?"

"I like to think I'm being realistic. Maybe I'll change my mind when I've been dead for a couple of centuries, maybe I won't." 

"Maybe you'll see humanity making their way into space en masse? We know there are hundreds of other species and planets out there. If life on Earth ever gets boring you can always head for the stars."

"I- thank you, Rob, you have no idea how much that means to me."

"Anytime."

Closing comments.

"That's all for today everyone, don't forget to brush your teeth, take your medication, and get some fresh air! As usual, links to mental health resources and our Hero Health forum will be in the description below. And remember my Birdies, knowing when to ask for help is a sign of strength. Whether you're a Kryptonian, an Amazon warrior, the embodiment of fear itself dressed as a bat, or just some dude, never battle your demons without backup! Red Robin, out!"

Blooper scene/skit while the end credits roll:

"Dude, you promised you'd make an appearance."

"Trust me, this is more for your sake than mine."

"Sure it is. What, did you forget to wear your suit?"

"...."

"Shut up, are you serious?"

"Well I didn't expect to be summoned in the middle of the night so someone could cash in a favour."

"You agreed to do this months ago! Besides, it's YouTube, casual is fine, preferred even. No one is going to care if you're in your pj's- wait you are wearing clothes right?"

"Uuuuuuugghhhhh, yes. I am wearing clothes."

"Well now I'm curious."

"I'm not showing your fans what I sleep in."

"Will you show me if I edit this section out?"

"..." deep sigh, "fiiiiiine."

Phantom drops his invisibility but the only thing the camera picks up is a horrific, vaguely human-shaped blob of distorted static with two neon green points for eyes. When Phantom speaks his voice is extra crunchy and echoing.

"͔̐̿͗͑̒T̃̑̿͂h̻̠̬͍e̖͔̥͚ͣ̾͋͑̚ͅr̙̈̏̔e̊̽̈ͬ̑͂̂,̤̖̖͍̖̞̪̋ͩ ̝̳̖̺͖̲͉̇͐̇̏̾h͉͙͈͓̙̞ͬͅa͓̤̐ͥ̋̇̃̍ͥp̘̺̬̞̬̮̹̈́̈́ͧ͐̅p̥̦̺̹ͭͧ̌y̭̟͉̅̚?̭̤̻̑͋̈ͥ"͙͔͔̱̅͂

"Oh my god, that's adorable."

Highlights from the comments section:

People calling Phantom an Eldritch Horror.

Calling Red Robin a monster fucker.

Asking what Phantom could have possibly been wearing??? (Answer: His NASA themed footie pajamas)

Telling Phantom to get more sleep.

Telling Phantom encouragements. 

Thanking Phantom for protecting his town. 

Thanking RR for introducing them to a cool new teen hero they'd never heard of before.

There are the occasional comments claiming that Phantom couldn't do the interview in person and 'invisibility' is a creative work around for his absence that still ties into the Halloween special. 

Philosophical debates on the pros and cons of immortality and listing off other (allegedly) immortal heroes that Phantom should get in touch with.

[A/N: Congrats if you made it this far! This ficlet is a bit rough around the edges but I hope you enjoyed it! Any readers feel the desire to do so, they are welcome to take this, in part or wholesale verbatim, and use the idea for their own fic.]

[cyberrose2001]

Heyo there! I'm feeling stressed, Could I have some Op with a Cybertrionan reader, Op is distancing himself from the female reader and when she asks what's wrong he brushes her off? Until she eventually has enough, and snaps, and was met with Op snapping, Reader.is upset and apologizes before leaving

Skip to days later and reader ain't in base, Op regrets what he did and goes to readers house and tries to make it right?

Reader is human btw :">

“I’m sorry, but I need you”

TFP Optimus x gn! human! reader

Warnings: sfw, mostly fluff, very slight angst, confession.

Word count: 386

Tap tap.

“Y/n? Are you inside?”

Ah, fuck. He found you.

“Could you… come outside?” You hear the soft, rumbling voice gently vibrating your window.

Outside. Yeah. Outside is the last place you want to be right now, especially with Optimus, who had snapped at you days earlier. For no good reason, mind you.

It wasn’t your fault that he snapped at you.

But you feel like it is.

The Prime had been distancing himself from you, and now you bear the consequences of caring for someone you loved.

Sulking. In your room. With a twenty-foot-tall robot tapping against the glass window.

You didn’t indicate that you were present, apart from your car parked outside caked in snow. But he’s a persistant mech and starts to talk to you as if you’re listening.

“I see you have not left your house for a while now.” You hear him pause momentarily, “and it is confidence and shame to say that it is my wrongdoing.”

Oh, how very noble of you.

“I should not have snapped at you, and it is not your fault for concerning yourself with me.”

You’re damn right, Optimus.

“But I have had time to reflect on myself in your absence…” Another long pause, “your… painful… absence,” He says barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry, but I need you.”

A soft gasp leaves your swollen lips, almost a sob, as you realise what he’s implying.

“So please,” A soft thud against the window, “return to base with me, and we can make it right… I’ll make it right.”

You squeeze the tear-stained blanket in your fist before ripping it off you with a soft sigh—a sigh of relief. Standing up with shaky limbs, you reach the curtains blocking the cold and rip them open, too.

And there he is, the tables turning as his helm presses against the glass, with him being the one sulking instead. A thin layer of white snow coated his kibble. He must’ve been out here for a while.

You unlatch the window, watching as he jerks back in surprise to see you. Reaching out, you touch his icy metallic face. A soft, familiar smile finally returns to you, and just for a moment, you’ve forgotten what this debacle was about as he leans against your warmth.

“I forgive you.”

[copperbadge]

RE watching thoughts: I’m not 100% sure, but it might be that the whole “I am not my thoughts” is about engaging and identifying with your metacognition MORE than your initial thoughts. Because I get where you’re coming from - what is a consciousness but a collection of thoughts and feelings? But you can also have thoughts about your own thoughts that are more useful for dealing with whatever situation you’re in, I guess. (Random aside - every time I start thinking about thinking about thinking my brain inevitably starts thinking about Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men.)

I really should have replied to this ask sooner because it's going to seem like a non-sequitur now (this was sent much earlier in March) but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I've been chatting with people about this and I think I understand more why there's an emphasis in some therapies on the idea that we are not our thoughts.

(I uh, haven't read the Tiffany books so I'm not much help there.)

I am coming to understand that many, perhaps most, people judge themselves, comprehensively and harshly, based on their thoughts. Perhaps it's just a lot of people who struggle with mental health, but given the commonality of the sentiment I don't know if I'd confine it that tightly; generally it appears that people cannot conceive of themselves as anything other than a binary of good or bad. So many people I've talked to about this portion of DBT, the watching-questioning-identifying thoughts portion, say that it helps to snap them out of a spiral of "I'm a horrible person, I deserve to suffer/die, I can never be redeemed" after they've failed at something, or had a negative thought, or reacted poorly to an unexpected event.

That is not something I've ever experienced. I mean, jokingly maybe, but not in a real, internal sense.

And that's not to brag -- I'm not saying I think I'm a good person, either, because I don't think I'm a good person. I don't conceive of myself in terms of good or bad. I never cuddle my cats and think "I'm such a good cat dad" or forget to feed them and think "I should die now." I have a perpetual morally neutral attitude towards my own existence; my thoughts and actions might trend me one direction or another but I'm aware of the temporary nature of that. If I fuck up I'll worry about who I might have hurt or whether I'll be fired or what's going to happen as a consequence, if I am polite to someone who didn't deserve it I know I was acting kindly in the moment, but I don't make an inherent moral judgement of myself based on that. And it seems like the vast majority of people do. Which you would think would make me feel pretty good about myself, but honestly...I don't know.

A lot of people I know who have ADHD or are Autistic have talked about seeing themselves as other, as alien -- like that one webcomic artist who draws themself with little antennae to indicate they're strange and different. I've always understood why one might do that, but I never felt that way myself, before or after the diagnosis. After all, let's remember, I was The Normal* Child of my siblings, and if I was The Normal One before the diagnosis, why wouldn't I remain Mostly Normal after?

* As ever, I'm using "normal" as a cultural term, to indicate what we think of as mainstream, not because normal is a thing that really exists.

My life has been relatively solitary -- I have friends and family and I love them but I'm rarely part of a large group, I don't spend a lot of time out in public interacting with people, I'm not a big socializer. Before the Adderall, I really couldn't be, I took too much psychic damage from interpersonal interaction, so I chose those very carefully. And now my DBT class has been a rare moment when I'm encountering contradictions to a lot of my assumptions about the way human beings in our society interact, react, and behave. I just...don't fit that mold very well. I think of it as having crossed wiring, not in the sense that I'm faulty but just in the sense that I'm very, very different. Not Normal. It's not exactly a bad feeling but it's certainly not a great one, internalizing the sensation of alienness.

DBT is proving to be a mixed bag but not in the way I or my therapist intended -- it seems to be either things I was already instinctively doing or things that simply do not apply to me. In one way it's disappointing because it means there isn't much help to be had (we're a little over halfway through the course and I keep thinking "Maybe next class will be useful") but on the other hand it's validating that so much of what I came up with myself as unconscious coping mechanisms is literally what I would have been told to do anyway.

Sometimes it's a combination of both, though, which really blows. I guess most people, if they reframe another person's actions, actually find emotional relief in that, and I don't. An example from the class is that if someone is rude to you, you can consider how they might be having a hard day, and be polite in return; that's great, in terms of defusing a situation, and it's something I do a fair amount of. But apparently it's also something that for most people results in feeling less awful about the interaction, and that's not the case for me. Which is why so much of DBT feels to me like lying to oneself. It's not lying for most people.

So, yeah. I'm going to finish out the course and keep trying things with the therapist but I suspect given everything, I might already be at "as good as it gets" in terms of emotional work. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, and there is still the option to try medication that could help, but I think there will come a point where I'm going to have to deal with the fallout of just how different I am, and how that has impacted my life. Might end up a good thing; something I've really been trying to resolve is unhappiness over being unpartnered and highly likely to remain that way, and at least if this provides a better understanding of why, then perhaps I can process that and put it to rest in a way I've been trying to do but not succeeding well at.

So, we'll see. But I find it both fascinating and kind of horrifying how many people can believe they are irredeemably bad, even if the belief is only temporary, simply because they had an uncharitable thought or impulse. It makes me somewhat grateful for the crossed wires, at least.