#humans are fascinating and frustrating and awful and wonderful

[feekins]

imo one major point of tristamp (and trimax) is that no single person can be considered 100% "good" or 100% "evil" - we are EXPLICITLY shown that it's a million times more complicated than that. to exist is to be messy. everyone has thoughts and emotions and varying motivations and different things that drive them, and no one is totally right or totally wrong. in a world that very much wasn't made for humanity, all anyone can do is the best they can with what they have. nothing is perfect - in fact, nothing CAN or SHOULD be perfect bc "perfect" is subjective. there is no universal perfection. in other words, it IS NOT and CANNOT BE black-and-white - and acting like it is is what keeps fucking everyone up on Noman's Land.

[michaela-o]

Random things i think Cybertronians would find adorable about humans ~♡

1. Humans getting spooked by random loud noises because humans are naturally very jumpy about loud noises

Imagine:

you're sitting over at Swerve's bar, just chatting, having your drink on the counter Swerve let you sit on, because your makeshift little table and chair are work in progress. Suddenly some bot decides to honk their horn near you which makes you yelp and jump (like cats when they get scared of cucumber) which makes you almost spilling the drink as you were about to take a sip.

The whole bar stops and laughs at you. You just look at the bot who did it with the most unimpressed look ever (ㅍ_ㅍ)

2. Watching you stretch yourself because Cybertroniams aren't as flexible as humans

3. Sleeping

this may sound a bit creepy but from what i saw Cybertroniams sleep very eerily still and almost never move when they're in recharge because they're very vulnerable when doing so. So i think when they have their first sleepover with a human and they happen to fall asleep sooner and they start to either sleep walk or sleep talk (which fun fact, i do a lot ( -᷄ ᎑ -᷅ ) ) the bots would look in utter confusion like- "ya all don't stay still?? How???" I think Cybertronians would also find cute how groggy humans are when they wake up and them needing proper time to load into the world around them. Oh god and wait till they hear about the weird ass dreams humans can have or humans trying to explain déjà vu to a bot💀

(makes me think of Sunder being frustrated bc he wouldn't be able to get into a human's brain😝)

4. Physical Clumsiness

The occasional clumsiness and lack of precision in human movements. I think a lot of bots would find this very amusing to occasionaly watch since Cybertronias are typically more coordinated and precise in their actions. Like imagine bot walking with a human who let's say just woke up earlier to a meeting and are slowly walking around occasionaly hitting themeselves or their arm with a corner of a wall because their sleepy processor didn't calculate the trajectory good enough. I think they would find this rather adorable (๑´>᎑<)

5. Emotional Reactions

Yes i think humans are way more sensitive than Cybertronians are. Human's exaggerated emotional reactions to minor events, like getting overly excited about a sports game or being deeply upset by a small mishap, could be seen as amusingly disproportionate. Like imagine you drop your favourite mug on the floor and it breaks as much as your heart in that moment. You walk around the ship super sad, like a kicked puppy, and the bots can almost feel the sadness dripping off of you so they ask: "Hey uh- you okay?"

And then you proceed to explain that you broke your favourite mug and that you'll never find a mug similar to your favourite one. The bot stares like ಠ_ಠ. Oh so that's the reason? Okay so apparently humans don't pack bond with only random things that are alive but even with things that aren't.

6. The uncanny valley effect

I think bots would find rather fascinating how human brain responds to this phenomenon. Like- the human brain can feel that something is off and can't be fooled. Imagine holoforms in Cybertronians. Like yeah they can look very appealing but only up to a certain point which when that point is reached it tickles that one part of the human brain which tells us "na-a-ah something ain't right"

At one point they wanted to wtiness this in real life so some bots (Percy, Brainstorm) made a set up of holoforms and real looking hologram of humans and waited for you to figure out which unsettles you the most. They were surprised that you were 100% accurate in this and that you were able to tell which one are holoforms and which aren't.

7. Expressions of Wonder

the awe and wonder in the human eyes when we are encountering something new or beautiful, such as a breathtaking landscape or a technological marvel. I think Cybertronians would find this pretty adorable, very innocent and reflective of our curious nature.

8. Human Fragility

I think the most popular one. The general physical fragility of humans, along with our tendency to bandage minor injuries or get flustered over small pains, might be viewed as cutely vulnerable for many Cybertronians.

Feel free to add anything you'd like !!😄🫶🏻🫶🏻

[revelboo]

goooodddss, i know megs is gonna be absolutely Insufferable™️ as a carrier.. he's gonna be so much more cranky than normal, blaming his human for turning the tables on him unexpectedly like that, but then probably also end up being the most clingy now because he's like "oh shoot, now i Need to have you around more than ever"

(sorry if this is a duplicate ask or similar to another ask sent earlier, tumblr is being tumblr as always 🤪)

I think I remember seeing a similar one, but it’s cool. It’s probably lost in all that ⬆️ the hilarious part is I emptied the inbox completely in January. Four months ago. I’m at 893 total because the drafts? Yeah, those are also asks. 🤣 I started moving them there so I wouldn’t lose ones for new story prompts and that’s backfired at this point because neither folder has a search option. I’m just watching the number click up in horrified fascination at this point because I’m pretty sure I only managed to keep up with the asks for a week tops last time 🔞 Mass displaced mech 🌶️

Broken Arrow Pt 21

TFP Megatron x Reader

• Breathing raggedly as he meticulously straightens your stupid harness, you close your eyes. You’ve tried to break that ridiculously fine chain more than once just to be petty and it’s stupidly strong whatever it is. And after you’d kept undoing the clasp to take it off, he’d pinched the closure shut between his servos where you can’t take it off anymore. You’d tried to squirm out of it once and he’d found you with your arm pinned awkwardly against your body, because while it’s loose on you, it’s not loose enough to squirm out of. “Alright. You’re going to make me ask. What’s a sparkling?” Because you have a guess based on what he’d said and you’d better be wrong.

• “Cybertronian young,” he growls, optics narrowing when your expression becomes panicked. You really didn’t know, didn’t understand and it’s infuriating. Venting in aggravation, he runs a claw tip over your bottom lip and down the line of your throat, his spike stirring again as he straddles you. “Though I was trying to spark you and you somehow sparked me, you little brat.”

• “So, I knocked you up?” You blurt as his optics narrow, and you get momentarily distracted by a bead of pinkish purple slick beading at the head of his spike and slowly trailing down his length. And he’s baring his denta even as you start laughing. Because honestly? It serves him right. “Better you than me,” you add, aware that you’re playing with fire teasing him, but this means the jerk had tried to knock you up without asking.

• “Is that so?” He growls, plucking at your harness and you smack his hand. Wonders if you really think he doesn’t realize you’ve been trying to break his lovely work? He might not have made the fine weave of chains, but that metal is a part of him, damaged sections of his plating salvaged and melted down to make something to adorn you. “You should apologize on your knees.”

• “You did that to yourself,” you mutter, trying very hard not to think of the fact that you’re having a half alien kid with him. What if it’s an awful mini him with those sharky denta? What if the kid is worse? It’s bad enough with one of them biting you, but you can just imagine his kid clinging to your leg and gnawing like a rabid animal. And that uncertainty spills into the worry that he’s going to lose interest now. That he won’t have any reason to keep you around or alive now that he has what he wants. “Are you going to let me go now?” Preferably not via chucking you out of the ship mid flight.

• Staring at you, he growls. Because you really understand nothing. “We’re bonded,” he says, lip curling. “For life.” And your eyes go wide. ‘Oh, fuck me,’ you manage and his optics narrow as he lifts up and flips you onto your belly, covering you. ‘Not literally, you bastard,’ you snap as he hooks an arm under you to get your hips up and sheaths himself, hips pumping. Taking out his frustration and outrage with the wet heat of your tight body. You accepted him, bonded him and he’s keeping you even if you did somehow misunderstand all of it. You’re his to breed, to claim. His mate even if you didn’t choose him.

Previous

Next

Found an old doodle and started inking and coloring before realizing I only have like five markers. I’d make enamel pins if it wasn’t so expensive 🤣

[wordstome]

symbiote König x reader

I'm not allowed to start any new aus/stories until I finish a few, but I need to expel these worms from my brain. (also remind me to write something about Eddie Brock/Symbiote Ghoap x reader later)

I don't know if you guys know much about Venom lore, but symbiotes don't have a default system of morality: they take on the same traits and moral values as their hosts. They were created as a sort of world-conquering mindless evil force, but when symbiotes bonded to hosts who wanted to do good, they took on those moralities and became ashamed of their purpose. After they imprisoned the dude who made them to be evil (Knull, btw) they just made up a lie that their species was naturally benevolent.

So picture this: symbiote König who's been captured alongside several others of his kind and brought to Earth by the Life Foundation to study their abilities. I like the idea of symbiote König being similar to Eddie Brock's Venom: he's had bad and good hosts, but the bad ones fucked him up really bad, so now he's the König we know: arrogant and confident in his proficiency in violence, but deeply awkward, lonely, and lost. Getting kidnapped and taken to yet another foreign planet to be poked and prodded and experimented on is just his luck.

But then there's you. A pretty little scientist, not much more than a lab assistant, really. Your first encounter with him consists of you touching a finger to the glass of his prison, and him, curious, moving himself to press his inky dark goop where your skin presses against the glass. You giggle before quickly remembering yourself and skittering away. Symbiotes aren't fond of sounds, but he wouldn't mind hearing that one again...

It's little encounters like that that endears you to him. It didn't take him long to decide he hated humans: they're slow and unintelligent and nowhere near as elegant of a killer as he is, and yet they've managed to trap him and torment him. He's quickly noted as being the most unpredictable and violent of the captured symbiotes. But he likes you, who visits him and talks to him. To you, it doesn't mean much: you may as well be talking to a lab rat, finding an outlet to vent your frustrations about your insane work hours, demanding managers, and meagre pay. To him, he's absorbing everything you tell him, longing to touch you without glass in the way. What would it be like to bond with you, he wonders? To merge symbiote with flesh, and become two moving as one?

He'd like to be inside you, in more ways than one perhaps.

He may have fucked that up, though. It wasn't his fault, that day. They were starving him, these idiotic humans, starving all of them. He had no choice but to eviscerate and wholly consume the poor man sent into his glass cage. But you had been watching, eyes wide in terror, as blood and viscera burst everywhere. If he had a heart, it would have ached as he watched you skitter away...

And yet...there may be something deeply wrong with you, just as there is something wrong with him. Because you're back the next day, a new fascination in your eyes. Instead of talking at him, you talk to him now, asking him questions he only wishes he could answer. If he could just reach you, he could communicate...

König gets his wish the day it all goes awry. A whistleblower breaks in and makes off with one of his breathren, and the next person to stumble upon the scene is his little scientist, who doesn't hesitate to start smashing the glass of his prison. "It's not right," you mutter over and over again. "It's not right..."

He can detect your heartbeat speeding up as he drags himself across the floor to reach you. You shy away out of instinct, and he pauses. There are alarms ringing out now, awful terrible loud sounds, and he would prefer to get out of here immediately, but he refuses to do anything that would drive you away for good. He watches as you heave a deep shaky breath, then reach out a hand to him.

He glides up your hand and wrist, working his way into your body, the symbiosis instant and easy. You're a perfect match. He knew you would be. The armed guards burst through the door, but you have nothing to worry about as he envelops your body. You become a six foot ten behemoth, face hidden by what almost looks like a veil—something he picked up from a former host. You're barely aware of what's happening, too overwhelmed and confused to parse what's going on. But he knows what he's doing.

After he gets you to safety, the two of you will have all the time in the world to get to know each other.

[rochenn]

please im starving do you have any good dooku fic recommendations

BOY DO I HAVE SOME FOR YOU!!

I Pray My Mind be Good to Me by @purple-ant | Dooku/Sifo-Dyas | M | in progress | 40k so far | Set before the Prequels. Sifo-Dyas isn't killed by Dooku, but maybe this is worse—Sidious uses Dooku to torture him. Fascinating concept and GREAT execution and oh, oughh, my HEART. Tagged as "angst with a happy ending" and "dubious happy ending" and "friends to enemies to fucked up lovers" and I am absolutely hooked and in dire need of catching up!

Forward Motion by flute25 / @legobiwan | Dooku & Rael Averross | G | oneshot | 8k | In the moment between life and death, Dooku meets his first Padawan. And when I tell you this hurt me on a deeper level I really do mean it. Beautiful retrospective and reckoning of a mostly awful life, and beautifully written, too. A wonderful study of Dooku's character if you'd like to read something that makes you feel sad and even vaguely hopeful <3

Padawan by Peppermint_Shamrock / @jedi-order-apologist | Dooku & Asajj Ventress | G | Drabble | Dude I just fucking love a 100 word fic that fucks me up completely. I'll let the fic's summary do the talking here: "Dooku misspeaks." And, man, he sure does. I am UNWELL about Dooku's and Asajj's dynamic and this drabble captures it perfectly!!

the sparks that went dark in my gut by Icarus_is_flying | Dooku & Asajj Ventress | T | oneshot | 2k | Doomed master-apprentice relationships that could have become something wholesome if a Certain Someone wasn't a complete cunt are my bread and butter. Asajj's frustration with Dooku and herself, and Dooku's ways of teaching her... I already said their dynamic is everything to me and this fic ALSO does it so so so very well. Read this if you want to get feelsy about this utter disaster duo!!

Three Days of Thawing by @prahacat | past Dooku/Obi-Wan | T | oneshot | 15k | It's not a rochen rec list if this fic isn't mentioned. Dooku is in exile after surviving the Clone Wars in this absolutely GORGEOUS character study. Delicious prose and one of my favorite Dooku voices of all time working in tandem as we follow him through his hermit life and slowly unravel the canon divergence that led him up to this point. Incredibly stimulating to read. Obi-Wan is great in this fic, too, and it makes you burn with curiosity about exactly what happened in the past! Stunning descriptions of nature and human nature alike. Every time I think about this fic I go insane. HUGE HUGE HUGE recommendation even if you don't really go there, trust me it's worth it!

Lastly, I will be recommending some accounts for your browsing pleasure: anything by @charmwasjess (AO3), lots of great Dooku fics to choose from in a great variety of flavors!! Especially great if you enjoy Dooku/Sifo-Dyas. Same goes for @bolithesenate (AO3). So many fics I go 👀👀👀 at but don't have the time to get around to.

Enjoy!!

[magicicephoenix]

DOCTOR WHO AU???

IM LISTENING

PLEASE

HERE YOU GO. i am just rambling

it ended up being super long, so. under the cut :)

okay so i'm still not sure if it'd be better for y/n to be the doctor or the dca. because on the one hand y/n being the doctor makes them a very very lonely last time lord who outlives all the companions they've tried to keep over the years, who saw two robots (bc i think it'd be better if they were separate in this instance) and went "oh my god. companions who will never die.", thus getting immediately attached. and sun and moon are fascinated by this otherworldly being who looks completely human to every single one of their sensors EXCEPT the fact that they have two hearts. one for each of them WHO SAID THAT anyway since obviously the doctor needs an accompanying master if y/n is the doctor i think maybe vanessa as the master would work. something something vanessa was an old friend who turned to the dark side (afton, somehow??? maybe afton WIAIT MAYBE AFTON WAS THat one super important time lord in the time lord council or whatever they're called from the end of season four and he's DETERMINED to have the time lords come back and that's why vanessa does all that oh my god it all makes sense). and y/n is always hoping she'll leave old ghosts behind but she can't and it's devastating every time aughh... and meanwhile y'know the dca are childcare animatronics but they know and can see troubles in any age and they're seeing a worrying amount of unhealthy coping mechanisms in this mysterious "doctor," so much so that they wonder if this doctor needs a doctor of their own. because even if the doctor is a different species they still need all the basic necessities of life that a human does and the dca are very specifically programmed to help humans. so they're just about perfect to help y/n!!!! and umm i think being able to see the universe is a super big deal to a couple of animatronics who were confined to a daycare their whole lives. maybe the inciting incident to their initial meeting had something to do with aliens trying to take down the human race through the children. and the dca notice the children acting strange and start going for help but no one's listening to them because they're "just robots" and it's frustrating and awful and they keep trying until by some coincidence they manage to inform y/n about it and y/n LISTENS to them doesn't ignore them and that's literally the ONLY THING they were asking for and y/n is the only one to give it to them. and then they work together (and isn't that wild for the dca, working with a perceived human instead of working under them, being able to make suggestions and offer ideas and not being brushed off!!!) and solve the mystery and defeat the terrible aliens who were using children for their master plan but due to all of it the dca's daycare is destroyed. and the dca has nowhere to go but stupid fazbear entertainment. and they've almost resigned themselves to returning to the hell of being nothing but an object for a giant corporation... until y/n says "come with me." and the dca say "yes."

ah right um on the other hand. time lord dca. two ideas i had: one, the master could be eclipse. then there'd be secondary idea one-A where the dca are in one body and one-B where they're separate. dunno about that one because a big thing with the doctor is that they're the SINGLE last time lord other than the master and they're desperate for companionship because of that. idea two: one half of the dca is the doctor and the other half is the master. prolly sun being doctor and moon being master but i could absolute see the other way around as well! then it hurts even more because they're two halves of the same whole, literally The Sun and The Moon as maybe they've chosen as titles instead of doctor and master actually. but the thing about the sun is that everything else orbits around it while the moon only revolves about the earth. wait oh my god that's fantastic actually. Sun taking the Master role because everything must be circling him, he must be at the center of everything, without him everything would flicker out and die, HE'S the most important thing and he needs EVERYONE to KNOW. and the most frustrating thing is that the moon is so so so enamored by the stupid earth and its stupid humans to pay enough attention to him. only one half of that moon is ever facing him but he needs all of its attention, he needs to see it all, and if he needs to rip the moon out of its orbit to do that then he WILL. meanwhile Moon is the little saving grace of the earth, so far away and unnoticeable that the humans don't notice his aid (like how the moon causes the tides). if the earth stopped spinning he'd be there to start them it again (anyone seen that one comic from the "what if?" book? yeah). no matter what he is there to keep earth and the humans safe, even if it's from the bright burning star that they rely on for life. and he's so so lonely, doing his best in the shadows, alone without his counterpart that has long been lost to time (or so he thinks) until he stumbles upon y/n and can't bear to let go. so when Sun returns, hoping his grand motions will capture Moon's heart, he is devastated to see Moon instead clinging tight to this small, insignificant life form. what about him? what about all the time they'd spent together? what happened to the sun and the moon? why is he not enough? and from devastation comes rage. from rage turns destruction. and, unfortunately for Sun, Moon despises destruction.

...or something like that.

[ofmdrecaps]

01/21-23/2025 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Happy Birthday Ewen Bremner!; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Con O'Neill; Vico Ortiz; Gypsy Taylor; Andrew DeYoung / Andy Rydzewski; Damien Gerard; Articles; Fan Spotlight: Nes & The Tiny Co-Captains; Never Left Podcast; Love Notes;

== Happy Birthday Ewen Bremner! ==

First and foremost, Happy Belated Birthday to our one and only Mr. Buttons -- Ewen Bremner! His birthday was on Jan 23! Hope it was wonderful sir!

= David Jenkins =

David sending us some love in these trying times. Remember to keep you humor, luvs.

Source David's Bsky

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys has been VERY active the last few days with SF Sketchfest going on amongst other things! In continuing with sharing his stand ups, we got more from the wallet in the skinny jeans bit!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rhys Darby (@rhysiedarby)

Source: Rhys' Instagram

= SF Sketch Fest =

In addition, some pretty cool stuff came out of the SF Sketch Fest! Rhys did stand up, but he also participated in the 45th Anniversary Live Read of Airplane! We also got some pictures that broke the fandom for a few days.

Sources: Cobbs Comedy Club

A clip from the Airplane read! (thank you to @wastingyourgum for find it on facebook!)

Source: Matlock Zumsteg's Facebook

Rhys found D (for Darbs) while out at the show! You can check out the SF Sketchfest BTS he has on his paid substack here!

Source: Rhys' Paid Substack

While Rhys wasn't actually present, him and his early career came up on The Dom Harvey show! Thanks Moosh for sharing!

Source: The Godfather of NZ Comedy

= Con O'Neill =

Jan 22nd was the 10th anniversary of the show Cucumber - starring Con O'Neill!

Source: RusselTDavie's IG

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico shared some heartfelt messages on their current journey/transitions going on in their life on their instagram.

"Grief is such a painfully fascinating, terrifying, devastatingly beautiful and powerful experience. I am in constant awe of its transformative prowess. I must confess I am in the thick of it. Discovering the times I am paralyzed by it as well as times where I surrender to it and witness how it ebbs and flows within me. Transforming me. There are some things I was already expecting. But other things out of my control (the LA fires/Presidential transition being some big ones) one took me completely took me by surprise, the other I have been bracing myself for and I recognize that I am in swimming in the trenches. Im experiencing pain, joy, anger, celebration, sadness, frustration, gratitude…. All of it coming at me in chaotic order, showing up in the most random of places, and in ways I never imagined my heart and nervous system could experience. Im learning how to let myself be human each an everyday in a system that is determined to separate me from myself, from my/our humanity. It’s messy. It’s beautiful. It’s chaotic. It’s expansive. While the fires have devastated me and have left me undone in ways I wasn’t expecting, one thing I am abundantly certain of: no matter what anyone says, regardless of their political “power”… I will always exist. Who I am and who/how I love is a non-negotiable. And I will fight tooth and fuckin nail for my/our right to exist visibly and I will be louder each and everyday because I deserve to be here in this world and you deserve to be here in it with me, celebrating who we are every goddamn day. While I know IG is the only Meta app I’m currently using, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for ways in which we can engage in community that feels safe and affirming. Im enjoying the substack space with @todayingaypod as well Patreon and BlueSky! While TikTok was a good place, I’m currently putting it under observation after the whole shutdown/brought back debacle. I love yall… I genuinely am so grateful that we have each other even if the systems put in place are whack af. Squeezing everyone tenderly 🫂 Enjoy a glimpse of many transitions, moments of levity and honoring ancestry through these photos 🫶🏽✨"

Vico also posted More OFMD BTS on their Patreon!!

Source: Vico's Paid Patreon

= Gypsy Taylor =

Some of Gypsy's works being highlighted from The Newsreader Season 3!

Source: Gypsy's IG Stories

= Andrew DeYoung / Andy Rydzewski =

One of our Directors, Andrew, and our cinematographers, Andy are on their way to SXSW (South By South West) Film and TV Festival for their film 'Friendship'! It's an official selection! Congrats you two!

Source: Andy's IG Stories

= Damien Gerard =

Our Father Teach, Damien, is blessing us with more and more cat content, Athena is such a work of art <3

Source: Damien's Bsky

== Articles ==

Thank you so much to @adoptourcrew for keeping us up to date in all things OFMD Article related!!

GeekSpin Article

source: Adopt Our Crew Bsky

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Nes & The Tiny Co-captains =

So I will spread this out over a couple of recaps because the massive Rhys section above took most of my picture allotment! But I wanted to take a moment to highlight the adorable artwork of Nes. Their Tiny Co-Captains are such a break in my day every time I stumble upon them. Whether they're spending time together, eating cherries, going on silly adventures, Nes brings such joy and life to them that I just wanted to take a moment and appreciate the perfect chibi co-captains and their fabulous creator. I especially adore Archie and look at this super adorable snake for the Year of the Snake! If you aren't already following Nes, please check out their work below! It'll bring a smile to your face even on the roughest days!

Bsky / IG / Tumblr

Nes' Linktr.ee

Source: Nes' Bsky

= Never Left Podcast =

A new episode is back, and this time they're talking about the story in Stede's spank book! 👀 Check it out on your favorite podcast platform!

Source: Never Left Instagram

== Love Notes ==

I know you're tired lovelies. I am too. Been a hell of a year so far.

Please remember to rest, and take care of yourself. Drink your water, eat some food, and laugh if you can. The world feels dark, but you are the light within it. You make it beautiful, and keep it kind. You will shine brighter when you can recuperate and rest-- so please take care of you for a while. Sending Love your way <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nanea Hoffman (@sweatpantsandcoffee)

Source: SweatPantsAndCoffee Instagram

[timeoveritasconsumofigmentum]

Yandere Fisherman x F!Mermaid Reader

Warnings: Obsessive behaviors, Stalking, Kidnapping, Implied murder(?)

A/n: I tried to use actual boat terminology idk if it’s right lmao, but enjoy ♡ (not proofread)

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Mermaid!reader that loves to hang out with her marine friends during the bright afternoons. Exploring underwater caves, collecting the prettiest shells, telling spooky stories in sunken ships. Life was beautiful under the sea.

Mermaid!reader who was dared by Kai the stingray to go one of the many forbidden zones (the one infested with humans.) Despite her fear and uncertainty, she couldn't let that flat face call her a guppie!

Mermaid!reader who encounters dozens of dinghies once in the sunlight zone. Consumed with curiosity, she swam closer to the strange shiny devices hanging from the small ships. Yes the ocean floor collected the ships and it's artifacts, but she had never seen such a device.

Mermaid!reader who felt nothing but awe at the plastic fish that they(the fisherman) threw into the sea from their barnacle covered boats, fascinated by their unusual bright colours and shapes. Giggles at the confusion of her friends, their gurgles of excitement sending waves of bubbles along the currents.

Mermaid!reader who starts investigating with her marine friends but finds out the hard way what the plastic is truly meant to do and it breaks her heart. Dozens of her friends gone in a blink of an eyes, yanked into the unknown world. Mourns for the loss of her friends blaming herself for the lack of awareness, makes herself a promise that no other innocent being would be taken.

Mermaid!reader who helps fishes avoid the sharp hooks, warning all that wander too close that they could be snatched up and never seen again. Swears on Poseidon that no more of her friends will be stolen.

Mermaid!reader who actively tracks ships and fishing patterns. Herding the small guppies and airhead fishes away from the coast, sure they understood warnings but that didn't stop their curiosity or lack of awareness.

Mermaid!reader starts using her sharp iridescent shell to cut the fishing lines and collect the plastic bait, the humans obviously aren't using them so what's the harm in collecting them? Besides it would stop her friends from being caught up by the glittering they produced.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Yandere!fisherman frustrated from the sacristy of fish coming in. His profit and family business plummeting to the ground from lack of customers.

Yandere!fisherman swore he would get to the bottom of this. His grandmother didn't break every bone in her body for this business to die a sudden death!

Yandere!fisherman who now, never leaves his modest boat, camouflaging himself to stalk the waters every hour of the day. Waits for days with no activity, his sour mood getting even fouler. "If there's nothing there, then where all the bloody fish?!"

Yandere!fisherman who spots a large fin lift out from the water one early morning, a quiet splash following. Snatching his binoculars off the stern pulpit he spotted a human like figure bobbing around the water, clicks his tongue in frustration about to look away when splash! A pearlescent tail jerks out of the water, his eyes traveled along the long fin only to find it connect to the figure he saw previously. Wide eyes stare at the strange creature entranced.

Yandere!fisherman shellshocked from the discovery, sure his grandmother told his stories about how merpeople lived in these water but he just thought it was a bad eyesight and manatees! To think she was right. Wonder soon turned into animosity, so this was the creature causing a shortage of food?

Yandere!fisherman who starts tracking the mermaids every move, determined to capture it. Thinks of the amount of money he would make by selling the exotic legend. He could see it now, towers of gold stacked to the clouds, a large home fit for a king, no longer having to break his back to scrape together enough money to pay his bills, his very being bathed in riches. Oh yes, he would have the sea beast . Dead or alive.

Yandere!fisherman after weeks of planning, decides it's time to capture the beast. Makes a custom bottom trawl, out of clear wire, adjusting it enough to fit the mutant, takes extra care to make it sturdy. As any good fisherman would do, he starts to track her movements.

Yandere!fisherman who writes in detail the spots she would mostly visit(the abandoned boats near the colorful reef seemed to be her favorite?), what distance she was most comfortable in(half a mile away from the dock but continuously inching closer) what time she preferred to come (right as the sun peeked out from the horizon.)

Yandere!fisherman finds out that the mermaid had been stealing the bait deliberately, his callous hands wrap around his booklet in fury wringing the innocent leather, another thing he had to worry about thanks to it.

Yandere!fisherman finally gets a glimpse of the creatures face. Is stunned stupid to see such beautiful features, every detail in her face seemed as they were sculpted by hand with utmost care. The blue hue of the water did little to obscure her beauty, feels something in his chest tighten but brushes it off.

Yandere!fisherman dreams now invaded by the unknown woman. Her opal like scales that seemed softer than cotton, the halo of hair that followed her whenever she moved, bright eyes filled with childlike wonder. Soft supple lips lifted into a small smile. The feeling in his chest returns.

Yandere!fisherman commences his plan at night, gently tossing the net into the water far away from his boat. Lies in wait, white knuckling the thick rope connected to the net ready to pull at any moments notice. Sees the beautiful beast nearing his trap, grits teeth "come on.." he jerks the net snatching the side of her body, her right arm and fin tangled in the thick plastic. Bubbles flurry to the surface panicked splashing accompanying it.

Yandere!fisherman who yanks the net forward creating small waves, the veins in his arms bulging from the amount of force takes large steps back bringing her closer. Has her a few feet away from boat when SNAP the net collapses into itself, her body freeing with every thrash. Let's out a scream of frustration watching the mermaid flee the scene quickly.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Mermaid!reader swimming back home in pure shock clutching her iridescent shell, unable to filter in the million of questions her friends asked her.

Mermaid!reader who thinks of all the fables and stories of humans snatching merpeople were true, she knew that much, but never did she think she would be one of the missing. She had been so careful, not following the same path or reappearing in the same spot.

Mermaid!reader stays cocooned in her shell like home for days, the soft hues of pink and yellow calming her soul. Small treasures displayed on weaved seaweed shelves warmed her heart, creating a bubble of peace in her rampant mind. The human objects she collected overtime glared at her, an uneasy feeling urged herself to stuff the objects deep in sand. To forget about them and everything about the surface. To forget about the existence of humans.

Mermaid!reader traces the angry marks that indented her tail, curling further on her kelp bed. Regrets taking the dare that made her get so close to the land. She could have been blissfully blind if she just stayed with the cities limits, unburdened with the knowledge of what the coast held. Shivering at the daunting feeling, she imagined what awaited her the moment she broke through the surface.

Mermaid!reader who wants to stay rooted right where she was but the other part who knew the truth, she knew she would have to go back and help her friends. But to go back was a death wish there was no telling that luck would be on her side once more, memories of her stolen friends flashed through her mind.

Mermaid!reader with her mind set, decides to go back. Asks around her city hoping to find out more about humans only to hit dead end after dead end. Deflated, swims to the coral library wanting at least to brush up on the human tales that once scared her when she was guppie.

Mermaid!reader who draws a map of sector starfish. Noting where she was almost taken, she tries to remember where her fish friends would go. They weren’t the brightest bunch so she knew they would be scattered through out the water. Despite the numerous problem she was faced with, she pushes forward.

Mermaid!reader who stays at the edge of the sunlight zone, worry seeps in her veins her tail thrashing in agitating. “It’s not a big deal..I’m just going back to the place where I was almost taken, it’s fine. It’s fine, I’m fine..”. She took a deep breath before releasing, groups bubbles tumbled from her mouth caressing her features. A soothing warmness settles in her chest at the feeling as she tried to the keep up with the uncoherent thoughts she had.

Mermaid!reader cautious of every little thing, swimming as slow as possible. Decides to split the area into smaller sectors, one sector a day. That'll keep her safe. Hopefully. Days slowly crawl by, her wavered confidence stayed stagnant riddled with the anxiety of ‘what if’s?’

Mermaid!reader shakes her head disappointed at the fish who swim merrily around the few hooks in sector starfish. ‘All those warnings floated away from them’ she thought glumly. Sees Kai the stingray stuck in a large net, doesn't hesitate to swim forward sharp shell in hand pushing away her dread.

Mermaid!reader determination set in her features she prepared herself to slash haphazardly trying to free her friend as quickly as possible. Let's out a scream of terror dropping her weapon, realizing her friend was already dead and gutted.

Mermaid!reader distracted by the horrifying scene set in front of her, she barely felt another net underneath the sand lift upwards speedily creating a cage around her.

⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.🐚⋆❀˖° ⋆｡𖦹 °.

Yandere!fisherman who is quite glum from the lack of appearance of his prize-bag of money. Rereads his booklet, noting she would appear most when the tides were rising. The perfect time when fish would trickle in like children at a sweets shop. Reinforces a seine net and buries it in the sand underneath his ship, is about to rise from the water when he spots stray stingray swimming away from his curious eyes.

Yandere!fisherman couldn’t help but to smile.

Mermaid!reader who's dropped onto the floor the modest boat unceremoniously. Starts to beg the burly fisherman to let her go, that she only wanting to keep her friends safe "Please! I mean you no harm! How would you feel if hundreds of your friends where snatched away from home and they were never seen again? Understand me" she pleaded, voice getting hoarse from lack of water. Her limbs ached from the drop, the tight net reopening the wounds on her shimmering tail and torso.

Yandere!fisherman after weeks of watching her from the boat can't help but to tune her out. Not that her voice wasn't as sugary as he imagined, but to finally be able to drink in her foreign features. Euphoria drenched his body, this was real.

Yandere!fisherman thinks of the dreams that haunted him each night, were nothing compared to reality. Entranced by every crease, mole, and scar that covered her very being, studying her features he memorized every little detail. Dark eyes taking in the strange clothing she wore, lingering on the open wounds on her opalescent tail.

Yandere!fisherman who feels cold at the thought of someone else feasting on her beauty. He was the only one deserved to look at her, he watched for months, weeks of planning and yearning to get to this moment. He knew her. She was his. No one was worthy enough to bathe in her beauty. "Shhh, it's okay. Oh, have I got some plans for you sweetheart. But don't you worry your pretty little head about anything, I’ll take care of everything.”

[volterran-wine]

Hi!

You mentioned in one of your posts (I think the one about leaving your blog) about you liking historical research for the Volturi backstories, and I have some general feelings about vampires and history that I've been itching to share to ANYONE since joining the twilight fandom - since few people are gushing about this (though I will admit I'm kind of picky when it comes to content, so I might not have seen it).

Vampires are FUNCTIONALLY IMMORTAL! That is SOOO fascinating! Just imagine looking into the eyes of an ancient vampire. You're LOOKING at HISTORY. At someone having lived for so long it's hard for a human to truly grasp what that means (which I don't think really requires that much). It's just… AGH! I can't even express how fascinating and awe inspiring that would be…

Bella got to TALK to a man born in 1640's London, and ASKED NO QUESTIONS?! WHAT?!?! I'd want to know EVERYTING! All the little mundane, and everyday details of everyday people. I mean, we know so little of the lives of everyday people in history. That's just not something that was regularly recorded. And the things we know get more scarce the further back we look. I'd want to know what we got right, and what we got wrong. I'd want to know about the lives, attitudes, and thoughts, and little habits of the commoners. I'd want to know of the town gossip, and what they thought of and knew of the wider world. I'd want to know how different and how similar we are.

As a child, I would regularly fantasize about traveling back in time just to talk to some random historic person. And twilight has these very, very old people with photographic memories, and Bella has the opportunity to talk to them about the past and She. Doesn't. Take it! 😭 My inner child is crying, and so am I.

I too like to write backstories for these characters (though with bullet points, maps, and long tangents, not the beautiful texts you bless our eyes with), though I tend to get distracted and just fall down the rabbit hole reading about ancient history (and then being frustrated about how little we know), so I also understand, having tried myself, that writing such a scene would be frustrating considering trying to answer these types of questions would essentially be making up headcanons about history, which isn't as appealing when trying to be historically accurate. But GOSH, do I want it! (Also it requires a level of creativity I sadly lack).

And ARO HAS MEMORIES OF OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL!!!! Just!!! Not just his own, which by itself is already amazing, but all the regular people he has touched over the millennia! Just IMAGINE all the stories he has to tell! All those lost cultures and languages… Ffjgsjfkgkskf! I don't care that I'd be eaten. I would beg for at least an hour of conversation with that man. He can eat me afterwards, and I'd die happy. 😍 (I don't think I even have concrete things to ask. I'd just want him to open his mouth and talk about the "good old days" until he gets hungry and eats me.)

ALSO I'm curious what getting to be that old would have on things like beliefs, personality traits, and cultural habits. These people have OUTLIVED their culture, but surely it still has some effect on them? Isn't there this concept that what you learn early sticks with you best? Surely, a part of that is the culture you were socialized in. I wonder how many small cultural habits or ways of thinking that have, almost unknowingly, stayed with them into their immortal lives and through the ages. Do vampires experience culture shock? But all the time, because the world evolves.

Imagine outliving your own society. There are no other people alive (or undead) that know it. Imagine watching it slowly evolve and change before your eyes until it's unrecognizable to you… How does that feel? How do they cope?

That is all, thank you.

One thing is for certain; being a vampire must be horrible strange for a good couple of centuries. I cannot fathom looking into the eyes of something that is so old, so ancient… and simply go on with my day.

Vampires haunt me.

[pippastrelle]

Bulletpoint liveblog of C3E91 let's go!

First half: Bell's Hells

Gotta love Marisha as Sam's protege. What's the opposite of phallic? Somehow they made a hotdog costume that. And now back to sadness…

God, Orym's immediately in soldier mode.

Where are they going to go from here? If they're so in the open. Are they going to go down the Bloody Bridge or escape through Issylra? I mean, makes sense that Liliana doesn't want to tip them off, but still a woman convinced that working for Ludinus will work out somehow…

Possessing a human to escape the divine gate is pretty smart. Yeah, right, that's probably what Ruidusborn were from the start (if Predathos is sentient enough to plan).

I know she's rightly frustrating to others but Liliana is so interesting. I love characters getting so torn between morality and feeling like enduring sacrifice must be worth it.

I do like that she's still pro-god-eater too.

Oh??? Commune with Predathos??

Aw, but that's what Predathos would want her to think. That thing's will be fine for her. Anyone getting some Asmodeus vibes?

Apathy being no better than distain is something the Bells Hells know about the world. They weren't targeted. They were pawns.

"Angry at those who put it there"…. But Ruidus is a piece of Exandria. Would it be mad at that, I wonder? I'm genuinely curious whether Predathos would actively want to destroy Exandria or whether it will be mere collateral.

Oof. Yep. Don't tell Liliana about the back door.

God I love Liliana. Still got that love for Imogen. Still got that hate and defensiveness around the gods. I see Imogen genuinely reaching out to her mum, but also being a little passive-aggressive with it to try convince her. Clever.

Haha Chetney's passive-aggressive interogations are my favourite. Makes sense that Ludinus and the Weave Mind are separate entities with separate goals, even if they're using each other. Curious how the Weave Mind will deal with Predathos.

"Be the… mother hen to them." God I love Liliana. She's very intelligent in using herself to get her way. Thank you Laura Bailey for fascinating mother PCs.

Evoroa knows where Ludinus is??

Blunt polite Orym.

Genuinely, Liliana is more swayed by Predathos itself than I realised. Looking like a three-way gambit. Who -- Ludinus, Predathos, Weave Mind -- will win?

Cold, intimidating Ashton and cold, intimidating Liliana. Revealing.

This conversation with Liliana is everything I wanted.

And this is great with Imogen. They can use Liliana. It's not really about morality anymore.

Good question, Fearne, about the daughter abandonment. Oh. Ludinus visited her directly? I thought it was Otohan first. I mean, this is the sad thing. Liliana was vulnerable and swept into a cult, and we see how seemingly impossible it is to escape over a decade of belonging there. Who knows? Any one of the Bell's Hells could have been her.

Good, Laudna, keeping you guys going.

Aaaaaaah, Imogen. Tackling Liliana's priorities.

I like that Evoroa's coming with them. That'll be fun for Exandria.

I feel like we can never stop complimenting Matt's descriptions.

XD I mean, I'd panic too, being teleported into the middle of an encampment. Convenient though.

….Love the constant reminders of how INSANELY powerful Liliana is.

GOD, LILIANA, THAT BETTER BE A "I WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU" SORRY!

….Isn't the base of the Malleus Key super guarded too?

Time for another TPK!

Chetney/Travis is so smart. Using Otohan's stuff to pose as her underlings.

XD Ashton's wonderful CHA.

Laura might've rolled not great.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD DECEPTION CHECK!

Are they fucked?

Ooh maybe Keyleth's people attacked again?

Diolch byth (Welsh) -- thank god -- for Orym's insane passive perception.

FUCK they haven't even been able to talk about FCG yet.

Telepathy is so uncanny. So sick.

(HA! I've always wondered what it's like to wear a big costume like that. I've worn a unicorn head before but full body?)

What does Phantasmal Force do? OOOH the mind illusion thing! Pleeeeeeeease work.

I am deeply villainsexual. Intimidating Imogen makes me so gay.

GO LAUDNA! SUCCESS! Christ, they have no resources. What would have happened if they failed there?

HA! Is Ryn statue still there? Just casually drag her out, y'know.

The Ruby Vanguard is having a costume party, guys, don't judge the hotdogs.

Can they teleport still or are they going to have to find somewhere to long rest?

God, the graveyard of past battles around the Malleus Key is such great worldbuilding. Oh, god, even pikes and trophies? T_T Looking out for the Changebringer.

Keyleth's going to have a hell of a report after this. Do they remember they sent her lot to Issylra? Thank god Sending works again. XD Well, "works". User error aside.

HA! True spouse goals. Swapping Nat 1s.

T_T Marisha bringing the fan. I'm still so curious when/if Sam will reappear.

Props to Ashley reminding them about the exhaustion.

Fuck. FCG. I'm still so sad. Brilliant character. How do you even begin to process that? How can they reconcile this with FCG's martyr complex? These characters don't know about hit points. Who knows if they could've taken her down? Oh why does it feel better to be killed by Otohan than for him to go down killing her….

Imogen reckoning with Liliana vs. her mum. Even if Liliana doesn't support Ludinus, the question is how much that'll tangibly matter.

A lot of these guys have to question "what they were designed for". A lot of these guys were "made" for someone else. Aw, Laudna apologising for it: her and Delilah. And yeah, it's why Liliana is also a great, tragic reflection of the Bell's Hells.

Ashton's fantastic. Orym's fantastic. Chetney's fantastic. Fuck, the Ruby Vanguard have fucked them all up.

Awwwww Laudna and Imogen's little "I love you"s. The Bell's Hells are so special to me.

Chetney piecing things together around Aeor. I am curious how much Ludinus is interfacing with aeormatons, as opposed to other Aeor anti-god technologies.

Oh, Christ, Evoroa's been here the whole time. Bless. I wonder how crazy it must be on Exandria for her. Aw, love Chetney welcoming her. In his own way.

Haha "It's had some work done". Accurate, Ashton.

Are they going to go to Aeor?? Are they going to chase Ludinus there??

Evoroa's fun. Cool, so Predathos is in a glass and adamantine prison? I'm surprised it's in any way physical.

Yes. Sicc something and anything on Ludinus! I adore their energy. How does anyone survive contact with the BH?

THE MONSTER IS GOING TO BE BOLO FROM AEOR!

(Goddammit Twitch. Is anyone else getting a glitch when windows overtop of it make it skip forward?)

"STOP INTERRUPTING THE STORY!" Lore mood XD

Laura's face during Evoroa's story. Also mood.

I'm curious if Ludinus still plans to use or could use Fearne.

FRIDA TT_TT YUP EVERYTHING'S ALWAYS PAINFUL ALWAYS. Are they going to get a message from Christian?

Finally, Chetney checking up on Evoroa.

"I have a passive perception of 33. I heard it all." Is that higher than Vex'ahlia?

……………………How many bodies do they have in the hole at this point?

I can't imagine how physically shitty Ashton must feel on top of everything.

Laudna and Ashton have always had a great dynamic. Brings out the bluntness and wisdom(?) in both of them. Christ, Evoroa's going through it too.

Imogen and Orym have always had a great dynamic too. Both trying to keep things running, especially with each other. And the fact that Orym's not even out for revenge has always been fascinating… but it's still about the massive weight of Will and Derrig's deaths on his shoulders. He's a little guy, both literally and metaphorically, and god he's had to deal with so much, and the more they deal with, the more responsibility they get. I really like that, despite their potential conflicts, Imogen and Orym have always just wanted to get along. It's what I love about the Bell's Hells. They're genuinely broken but they genuinely love each other but they're genuinely broken but they genuinely love each other.

DORIAN SENDING! Was it just that he was asleep last time? I hope so. God, Orym/Liam's voice breaking breaks me.

[peskellence]

More Than Want

Explicit content (18+)

Pairing: RK900/Gavin Reed

Tags: M/M, Dirty Talk, PWP, Oral, Dom/Sub Undertones, Praise Kink, Sexual Fantasies

Read on AO3 here:

Summary: After a heat-of-the-moment kiss, Gavin finds himself increasingly preoccupied with fantasies of what might have happened next if his partner hadn't run away.

A smutty one-shot that takes place shortly after the events of Chapter 17 of More Than Our Parts (Can also be read as a standalone fic).

Word Count: 1.5K

Gavin sat on his bed, fingers digging into his sheets, as he let out a long grunt of frustration. It didn't seem to matter what his partner did; he always succeeded in getting a rise. Like he'd been specifically engineered to push his buttons and test his composure. Each cold stare and sharp word came peppered with fleeting glimpses of warmth and fondness. It had left the detective floundering for weeks, grappling to understand what his partner was: Human or machine. 

He found glimpses of both in the way Nines kissed. All the warmth and fragility of a person, coupled with movements that seemed to continuously adapt and tailor to his needs. It had required some coaxing to get to that point, but once they had, it was like the android had tuned to his every want, knowing exactly what he desired at any given moment. Yet he still asked, in heated words, whispered against the shell of his ear. 

"Tell me what you want". 

He wanted to hear Gavin say it, to disclose each sinful detail of the way he wished to be touched. Unravelling under the grip of hands that could easily destroy him. 

Then it was over, as soon as it had begun - like one of the many fleeting fantasies that seemed to be taking permanent residency in the depths of his traitorous mind.

Lying back on his sheets, shaky hands fumbled with his belt before sliding it free from the buckle. He tugged down his zipper with the sort of urgency that only seemed to come with the burning desire his partner instilled in him. Jeans fell to his ankles, along with his boxers, as his hands found his aching arousal. 

He'd never been with someone like Nines and would have no idea what to expect. Each thought toyed with a different feature, as Gavin soon found the sense of discovery excited him more than anything else. After decades of sexual encounters, he was once again left to wonder. 

His newest fascination was his lips. How natural they'd felt in weight and texture, whilst sculpted to a perfection he had previously thought impossible. He wondered how they might have felt had they been given more time to explore. Trailing the expanse of his chest towards the line of his navel and coming to nestle between his legs. He imagined a tongue peaking between them and running up and down his length in teasing motions. 

Nines would be able to detect his responses. Knowing what to do without prompt or instruction. Despite this, he would remain adamant that Gavin speak to him: 

"Tell me how good it feels". The words in his mind were low and firm. Dancing the line between request and demand. "Tell me how much you want this". 

In the privacy of his room, Gavin felt a name slip from his lips. Small and desperate, as he quickened the movements between his parted legs. His eyes remained shut as he sunk deeper into the grips of his fantasy. 

"It feels so fucking good".

Nails dug into his thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He watched in awe as his partner took him into his mouth, drawing out moans with each of his long, rhythmic motions. Gavin's hips bucked forward, back arched as he sought to push further into his throat. The hands on his legs kept him anchored as Nines ensured his view of his face remained unobstructed.

Because the android would want to watch. Analysing his every move as he goaded each desperate pant and plea. Like a predator stalking its prey, waiting until he was most vulnerable before closing in to strike. 

Or perhaps he’d take a different approach. Using his connection to his partner's responses to mercilessly tease and edge. Coaxing Gavin to the brink of release, doing precisely what was needed before slowing down or stopping entirely. 

Adjusting his mind to this newfound narrative, he watched as Nines' mouth steadily pulled away. Maintaining just enough proximity that his lips brushed his skin as he spoke. "I want you to beg". 

In an act of defiance, Gavin chose to resist the command. If only to speculate on how his partner might respond. The answer, as directed by his own libido, came in the form of long fingers wrapping their way around his neck. Trailing teasingly along the skin before firmly applying pressure. 

"I can take your pleasure just as easily as I can provide it". Gavin could feel his throat closing off as his head began to swim from lack of oxygen. "Do not play games with me. Now beg". 

Through the increasingly focused tightness, he managed a hoarse "Please". 

"Very good, Detective", Nines praised as the grip on his neck loosened, and fingers began coaxing at his lips, forcibly parting them. "If you continue to behave, I will ensure you are suitably rewarded". 

Gavin moaned as the first of the digits slipped their way into his mouth, quickly joined by a second. He caressed them both with his tongue, making no effort to disguise his burgeoning eagerness. The android watched on, smirking, and slowly pulled himself upright, pressing his knees to the inside of each of his partner’s thighs. With a firm movement, he forced them apart, permitting himself greater access to the willing body writhing beneath him.

Removing his fingers from Gavin's mouth, he allowed his hand to drift tortuously down the expanse of his legs. 

The other man keened in response as his free hand began to wander amidst his fantasy. Having mirrored each imagined action, he blindly made his way to the junction between his legs, steadily moving back. 

"No one else can make you feel this way". Nines' hand drifted lower until his fingers were brushing against his entrance. "I want you to submit to me. Entirely". 

The only response that Gavin could muster came in the form of a low, drawn moan. It was all the invitation Nines required as he swiftly entered him. His movements were gentle at first, allowing his partner time to adjust before he quickly picked up the pace. Striking each of his nerves with skilful precision and leaving him at a loss to do anything but pant and groan - as he sunk further into ecstasy. 

Every time he tried to reach up, to needily tug at his partner's clothes, Nines would swiftly rebuff him. Reminding the man of his strength while also acting in service to the many blanks his mind had yet to fill. 

A second finger entered as Nines began to further coordinate his movements. Continuing the motion of his fingers, his other hand came to envelop his partner's neglected arousal, teasing it back to hardness in a matter of seconds. He was methodic and controlled, yet there was no detachment in the way he pleasured him. His focus remained firmly on Gavin, wanting the man to know precisely who he belonged to at that moment. 

"Look at me". Nines demanded, staring down with piercing eyes that had etched their way permanently into his mind. "I want you to look at me when you come". 

As the fantasy reached its conclusion, Gavin was beginning to come undone. A name slipped from his mouth again. Louder, trembling, as he hurriedly brought himself to release. It spilled from his cock, and painted his hand before his arms to fell limply to his sides.

He knew many of his questions could be answered without his partner's involvement. It was simply a case of indulging in the right explicit material or propositioning one of the thousands of androids that occupied Detroit. With enough searching, it was possible he could find one that looked like him. The same dark hair, grey eyes, and gentle dusting of freckles. It would feel so close, yet not enough, and the thought alone was enough to dissuade him. 

Once the high of his orgasm had faded, he was struck with a harsh, deflating reality. He wanted more than just to imagine. To speculate on how his encounter with Nines might have developed had he chosen to stay with him. To know the extent of the pleasure the android could provide and how he could seek to return the favour.

Maybe it would be different if his desire was born of some newfound preoccupation with machines. Some perverse, fetishistic curiosity - but deep down, he knew it was more than that. If he wished to put an end to his current fixation, an android would be strictly off-limits. Gavin would need to find other ways to satisfy his want, lest he risk prolonging the torture it was currently subjecting him to. 

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 41: The Irregular Hunt

''Isn't it better to hide quietly in the shadows? There are even flowers like buds, you know. It's better to keep it a secret so it protects. Undisturbed by anyone, it blooms magnificently.''

– Hana ni Natte (Be a Flower) by The Apothecary Diaries

xXxXxXx

Touka took a deep breath, not looking forward to what was about to happen next. She and Shadow had been called to do a full health exam, with both having some idea what this exam would actually be about. Rouge led them to the room where they were supposed to have their health exam done, knocking on the door and being met by a female chinchilla ARNav wearing a labcoat.

''Ah, I've been waiting for you,'' she said. ''Come in. No, not you!''

The chinchilla glared at Rouge, who just gave her the sweetest and most innocent look possible. ''Aw, not even for emotional support?''

''No,'' the chinchilla replied in a sharp tone, glaring back at Rouge before walking back into the room. Touka and Shadow glanced at Rouge, who just shrugged.

''Well, I tried. Good luck you two,'' she said, watching them enter the examination room. As they walked inside, both Touka and Shadow were wondering why an ARNav was sent to exam them. They quickly both concluded that it was probably because Shadow was an Irregular. Even if he worked now for ARMS, the humans would still be wary of him since he could absorb their BioEnergy if they weren't careful around him.

''You can call me Dr. Manilla,'' the chinchilla ARNav introduced herself. ''I'm the one in charge of examining any Irregular ARNav that gets brought here, while my co-worker is responsible for the human partners. But, due to your unique circumstances, I had been told that you would participate in this examination together, Miss Sakamoto.''

''I prefer to be referred to as Kageura,'' Touka grumbled in an irked tone. Dr. Manilla glanced at the papers on her chart.

''Huh, but here, it says you're registered as Touka Sakamoto,'' she replied.

''That's an unfortunate mistake made by the higher-ups. You can just refer to me by my name for simplicity's sake,'' Touka responded with a sigh. Dr. Manilla just shrugged, then pointed at a platform in the corner of the room.

''Fine then, Touka. Please, go stand on the scanner,'' she said, with Touka obediently following her orders, stepping onto the platform and observing it as it lit up, scanning her. A holographic screen appeared before Dr. Manilla, who read through the incoming data. Her eyes widened in surprise, something Shadow, who was standing to the side with his arms folded across his chest, had noticed. ''Interesting… So, Sakamoto's notes were indeed right.''

''What are you talking about?'' Touka asked, furrowing a brow.

''You have an unusually high level of BioEnergy, far greater than what a normal human would have,'' Dr. Manilla revealed. ''I believe that this is because of Sakamoto tampering with your genetics, giving you a quite resilient body. It is genuinely fascinating, and I would love to learn more about what he had done.''

''I don't want to do more examinations than necessary,'' Touka replied, glaring at the chinchilla ARNav. Dr. Manilla took note of the look Touka was giving her, as well as Shadow glaring daggers at her. The chinchilla ARNav just frowned at the two, a bit annoyed that doing further tests on Touka's body was not part of her work and that she would need to get permission from the Comander to do that.

''In any case, you're completely fine,'' Dr. Manilla responded, with Touka stepping off the platform. She then typed something on the holographic monitor before her, then turned back to Shadow. ''Now it's your turn.''

Shadow stepped on the platform, not at all happy about the scanner sweeping over him, sending the data to Dr. Manilla. However, to the siblings' surprise, the chinchilla ARNav looked quite frustrated as she typed furiously on the holographic screen. ''Agh, what is going on here? Why am I getting errors?''

''Is something wrong?'' Touka asked. Dr. Manilla held up her hand to shut her up, then kept typing on the holographic screen.

''We'll have to redo this. The data I got seemed to be corrupted,'' she said, with the scanner sweeping once again over Shadow. However, when Dr. Manilla attempted to analyze the data she had gotten was once again filled with errors. She groaned in frustration, eventually realizing that her computer system couldn't actually process the data beyond the bare minimum.

''I'll have to send this over to someone who can get through this, but from what I've seen, you're in the clear,'' Dr. Manilla told Shadow. ''It seems like you have an unusual amount of energy that can be used in various ways, but my computer just cannot process what this kind of energy is.''

Touka and Shadow exchanged glances, the smallest of smirks forming on their lips as they knew well what this energy was. Their expressions turned back to more serious ones as Dr. Manilla called out for them to follow her to a short corridor that led to a different room. This one seemed to have thicker walls, with a mirror adorning one of the walls, and Touka and Shadow quickly realizing it was a two-way mirror.

''This room is for testing out an Irregular's abilities,'' she explained, turning to Shadow. ''I'll activate a test dummy for you to use your powers on, so feel free to go all out. I have Prof. Sakamoto's notes in regards to your combat skills, and from what I've read, they're quite impressive. All you have to do is to show me that you didn't get rusty over the years.''

''Hmph.'' Shadow narrowed his eyes. He was the Ultimate Lifeform! Did she really believe that his combat skills would get worse only because he was stuck in a stasis pod for a decade? Admittedly, she wouldn't know about his battles in Neos City, but nevertheless, he did feel slighted. Nevertheless, he wondered just how much of his abilities he should show off. He didn't want these people to know just how powerful his Chaos Spear, Chaos Blast and Chaos Control were, as he knew they would take advantage of him. Still, he needed to prove himself worthy of his title. Clearly, Sonic wasn't the only one with an ego.

Dr. Manilla walked into the room next to this one to observe Shadow through the two-way mirror, while Touka was left standing in the corner. Shadow centered himself, observing the holographic opponent as Dr. Manilla activated the test dummy. His ears flicked, and his opponent charged at him, with Shadow punching the latter in the stomach before throwing it over his shoulder, causing it to land hard on the ground. The test dummy flickered and got up, with Shadow wondering if Dr. Manilla was also testing his own endurance as the close combat battle continued, with the test dummy getting tougher and tougher to fight against. Still, he decided to make it a challenge for himself not to use any of his powers, kicking the test dummy into the mirror and almost cracking it.

''Hey, watch it!'' Dr. Manilla shouted through the speaker.

''Tch, that was too easy,'' Shadow muttered, placing a hand on his waist.

''You know, you could just use your powers for this. This is supposed to be an exam to test all of your abilities, not just your close combat skills,'' Dr. Manilla told him. She then sighed, when she saw Shadow rolling his eyes. ''Fine, then. I suppose I we can skip this part and get to the more important stuff. You're going to absorb your partner's BioEnergy so I can see how you're handling it.''

Shadow's crimson eyes widened as he felt a chill flowing down his spine, but he tried to keep his expression impassive. Horrible memories of him hurting Touka due to Prof. Sakamoto's experiments and his own inexperience with BioEnergy flashed in his mind, and he shook his head. ''I refuse.''

''What?'' Dr. Manilla sounded quite surprised by his answer. Usually, Irregulars would act like rabid animals around BioEnergy, but she guessed that Shadow was a special case. After all, he was created to break the system and actually take properly advantage of BioEnergy. ''Well, you have no choice. If you have any complaints, take it up with the Commander.''

Shadow narrowed his eyes, turning to Touka as she stepped next to him. Neither of them wanted to go through this experience again, but they knew that they had no choice. At least, unless they wanted to use the alternative. Touka waved at the two-way mirror. ''Just, give us a moment.'' She then crouched next to Shadow, whispering, ''Should we go with Chaos Surge?''

''We can't let them know about this!'' Shadow hissed under his breath, shooting her a glare. Touka just nodded, a grim expression on her face.

''I know, Shadow, but if it comes to this, I want you to use Chaos Surge,'' she told him in a firm tone. ''I'll figure out a way to explain that power so they don't get suspicious.''

Shadow gave her a pleading look, his ears drooping as he was clearly unwilling to go through with this. Even though he was now used to using Chaos Surge, that still didn't mean that he wasn't traumatized by almost killing his own sister after having accidentally absorbed her BioEnergy. He knew that if he goes with the usual way the Irregulars would use BioEnergy, he might end up with the same situation as before and he refused to let that happen. However, Touka gave him an assuring look, and while this did help with Shadow's confidence, he still wished he didn't have to go through that.

''Are you two done with the pep talk? We don't have a whole day for this, you know,'' Dr. Manilla said, with Shadow and Touka hoping that she didn't overhear their conversation.

''Fine,'' Touka grumbled, glancing once again at Shadow in concern. She was willing to take the risk, but she also understood why Shadow refused to go through with this. Nevertheless, they were now property of ARMS, super soldiers that were forced to work for them, and they would have to follow orders. Still, they had a way out, but they needed to be patient.

Shadow took a deep breath and took Touka's hands into his own, sensing her BioEnergy. He was still reluctant to even start the absorption process, but being under the watchful eye of Dr. Manilla, he pressed on. He hated this, feeling Touka's BioEnergy coursing through his own. It wasn't unfamiliar, but his instincts were screaming to stop this, but hearing Dr. Manilla's voice over the speaker forced him to continue. He could see Touka looking uncomfortable and pale, her hands shaking. Even if she had a greater pool of BioEnergy than a normal person would, it didn't mean that she was immune to having it absorbed.

''Touka…''

''It's fine-'' Touka hissed back, her chest heaving with every breath as she glared at the two-way mirror. Both were already past the activation point for a Chaos Surge, with Touka suddenly falling on her knees, crying out as her mind was in a haze.

''Touka!''

''Don't move! We're not done yet!''

Shadow wanted to stop, but Dr. Manilla's voice over the speaker made him freeze for a moment. This was replaced with anger, and he pressed back the BioEnergy he had absorbed, cutting it off. Touka looked up at him, a small smile tugging on her lips as she clutched her chest, breathing heavily, but her eyes now glowing in an red and orange colour. Shadow turned to the two-way mirror, about to tell Dr. Manilla how he won't participate in the when both of them suddenly heard a scream.

''What the hell is this?! You two fried the goddamn computer!''

Touka, who was now sitting down on the ground, and Shadow exchanged glances, with Touka snorting in amusement. This was followed by a groan from Dr. Manilla, who then added, ''Your exam is over now. I need to get this sorted out… Screw the Sakamoto and his experiments ruining my equipment…''

Shadow glanced at Touka. ''Do you think you can walk?''

''Yeah, I just need a moment,'' Touka said, her eyes returning to her normal colour, before taking a deep breath and getting up. ''It's still not a pleasant experience…''

Shadow walked closely next to her, fearing that she might fall over, but fortunately, Touka managed to walk on her own. Rouge was waiting for them outside, trying her best not to show just how anxious she was. ''Are you two okay?''

''Yeah, we were until the Doctor wanted me to absorb Touka's BioEnergy,'' Shadow said, his tone grim. Rouge sighed, giving the two a sympathetic look.

''I was afraid they would do that. This was one of the experiments they put all of Irregulars through,'' Rouge told them.

''I used Chaos Surge,'' Shadow stated, with Rouge's eyes widening in surprise.

''Apparently, it fried Manilla's computer,'' Touka added. ''I suppose that, unlike Sakamoto, they don't have the equipment to handle analyzing Chaos Energy, especially not after a Chaos Surge.''

''I see… Although, I suppose that at this point, you two have also improved your ability to use Chaos Energy, so it would be difficult to analyze it regardless, especially if they don't know what they're dealing with,'' Rouge responded.

Both Touka and Shadow nodded, with Touka adding, ''If anyone asks, Chaos Surge can only be used by me and Shadow. We cannot let them know that the rest of Team Neos can do that.''

''Don't worry, my lips are sealed,'' Rouge told her.

xXx

Sonic stared at the TV, his eyes narrowed and his arms folded as he scowled in a surprisingly Shadow-like manner. Lucas, who was nearby in the kitchen, took note that the azure hedgehog had been running all over and outside Neos City, trying to burn off the excess energy and figure out a plan how to save his friends, but clearly, he couldn't think of anything. He returned home, looking defeated and irritated, turning on the TV and just aimlessly switched through the programs.

''Sonic, are you okay?'' Lucas asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

''No, I'm not. Shadow and Touka are gone, and there's nothing I can do to help them. All I'm doing is just sitting around,'' Sonic told him, clearly frustrated. Lucas sat next to him.

''I know how you feel. I'm more patient than you are, but even I hate the idea of just doing nothing,'' Lucas said. ''Unfortunately, we really cannot do anything for now. We do have that deal with Dr. Eggman and we can communicate with Touka and Shadow through that private network, which is better than nothing.''

''Do you have any ideas on what to do?'' Sonic asked.

''I've been thinking all night about it, but the only thing that came up on my mind was to find a way to get Touka and Shadow get sent to Neos City. They now work as Agents for ARMS, and given how Neos City is a magnet for Irregulars, I'm certain that they would want them to fight Irregulars,'' Lucas told him.

''Shadow is an excellent fighter. I doubt that they would send him to fight Irregulars that Hunters can deal with,'' Sonic told him. ''They would need a bigger threat.''

''You're right,'' Lucas responded, suddenly getting up. ''That's why we're going outside.''

''What do you want to do?'' Sonic asked, also getting up.

''See what the Irregular Hunters are up to,'' Lucas said. ''I don't know how much they would know about ARMS, but we need to start from somewhere.''

''I think I saw ol' Commander Loki and his squad somewhere,'' Sonic said, perking up and ready to get back into action. ''We could tag along.''

xXx

''Hey, look at that!'' Tails exclaimed, pointing at the red sky. Sonic, Lucas and Warren looked up, taking note of the AR Field that displayed warning signs above, urging people to stay away from that area. They were at Kita, the northern part of the city, having gone there due to seeing a squad of Irregular Hunters heading there. Fortunately for them, it seemed that ARMS wasn't following them around, but it was possible that that was because Touka and Shadow had agreed to work for them. ARMS would lose interest in them so long as they got to keep their secret project.

''I'll go check things out!'' Sonic told them, and before his friends could reply, sped up towards the area. Lucas, Warren and Tails exchanged glances, wondering how they ended up in this situation. To start off, Lucas and Sonic did pass by the Taylor Workshop, and after telling the two what they had planned, Warren and Tails agreed to accompany them.

''We haven't gotten any message from Eggman, so there really isn't much we can do,'' Warren said. Considering how their main task of contacting Touka and Shadow had been completed, he and Tails focused on their personal projects, with Tails even working on a new device that would aid him in a battle. After they heard about Lucas and Sonic's plan, they agreed to accompany the two, also expressing desire to just do something instead of sitting around at home.

The three had soon joined Sonic, who was peeking around a building, observing Loki and his Alpha Unit fighting fox-like entities made out of blue flames. The azure hedgehog then pointed at a building further away, where a familiar figure was standing.

''That's Shiro!'' Tails said, looking stunned. He hadn't expected to see the kitsune again, even though he knew that she was still out there, free to do whatever she wanted.

''Shiro?'' Lucas rose an eyebrow.

''Right, we haven't told you, have we? Basically, Shiro was the Irregular that had been attacking people at the Kita Inari Shrine, but Tails and I had managed to force her to retreat along with Minami and Amy's help,'' Warren explained. ''Seems like she's back.''

''I see…'' Lucas muttered, taking note of Sonic's gaze. He was a bit surprised that Sonic didn't leap into action immediately, staying back instead, and quickly realized that Sonic was actually looking around for any sign of ARMS. Unfortunately for him, it was only the Hunters.

''Any plans?'' Sonic asked, understanding the look Lucas gave him. He knew that it was unusual for him not to participate in the battle, but given the current circumstances, he decided to rely on Lucas for the next move.

''I'd say that we go for Shiro. The Hunters seem to be handling those… uh, what are they?'' Lucas glanced at Tails.

''That's just foxfire – an illusion created by Shiro to keep them occupied,'' Tails said, staring at the fox-like entities.

''Got it. Do you guys think you can sneak up to Shiro?'' Lucas asked. Sonic and Tails glanced at each other, a wide smile on their expressions and nodded. Tails then reached into his backpack, taking out the devices he and Warren had been working on.

''Actually, we could use this opportunity for a field test,'' Tails said, with Sonic giving him a curious look.

''What's that?'' he asked. Tails flashed a grin.

''You'll see!'' He and Warren then stepped closer, and to Lucas and Sonic's surprise, initiated a Chaos Surge. ''Let's go!''

Lucas and Warren observed as Sonic and Tails rushed out behind the building, with Sonic finding a way around and speeding up the building Shiro was standing on. Fortunately, she didn't seem to have noticed the azure hedgehog, as she fully focused her attention on the battle below. However, sensing a rush of wind, she turned around and saw a ball landing and uncurling into a hedgehog right before her.

''So, I see that you decided to cause trouble. Let me guess, you're gonna tell me how you have some kind of excuse to attack people, and I'll tell you why that's the wrong answer,'' Sonic said, stretching his arms for the upcoming fight, before giving a confused Shiro a confident smirk. She managed to quickly collect herself, unfolding her fan.

''This is quite unexpected, but not out of place. I assume you act as back-up for the Hunters?'' Shiro said, giving Sonic a scrutinizing gaze.

''Nope, I'm just a hedgehog who likes adventure and has a tendency to save the day,'' Sonic replied.

''Dance of the Foxflame!''

Without any warning, Shiro waved her fan down, suddenly sending fiery crescents towards Sonic, who leapt upwards and homing attacked Shiro. Gracefully, she dodged his attack and entered close combat, using her fan like a tessen, a war fan, as she sliced through the air, leaving wisps of fire, meaning that Sonic was not only in danger of being hurt by the weapon, but also being at risk of being burnt. Fortunately, his training with Shadow did pay off, as he used some of the new moves he had learned to fight back. While Shiro moved with grace and precision, Sonic was way more unpredictable, rolling onto the ground and kicking Shiro from below, who blocked the kick with her closed fan, but when he got on his feet to punch her, she had placed the fan over his wrist and held it, blocking his punch, but what she didn't expect was for Sonic to suddenly drop down, his own weight pulling her down with him. She let go, attempting to hit him with the end of her fan, but was met with sharp quills that almost cut her hand. She backed away, only for Sonic to bounce at her, but she waved again, creating a wall of flames. Sonic uncurled, landing at the edge of the building and feeling his quills getting singed.

Shiro was about to go for another attack, only to suddenly see a bunch of circular devices being thrown at her, hovering in the air. She looked up, a bit stunned to see Tails hovering above, his eyes now glowing amber as he snapped his fingers. To Shiro's shock, she was suddenly enveloped in a light blue EMP field that acted more like a cage.

''Agh!'' Shiro fell on her knees, feeling like a shock pulse coursed through her body, keeping her paralyzed. She gritted her teeth, glaring at Tails. ''Y-You!''

''Woah, what did you do?'' Sonic asked.

''Warren and I had figured that we could make a conductor for my EMP power that would allow me to use it as an offensive attack from a distance… Or, in this case, several can also act like a EMP cage to keep the opponent at bay,'' Tails explained, turning back to Shiro as he carefully controlled the energy output. ''This time, you won't get away!''

''This is awesome!'' Sonic was amazed by this move.

Shiro, on the other hand, could just glare daggers at Tails.

xXx

Below them, the foxfire illusions had suddenly disappeared, with Lucas and Warren realizing that Sonic and Tails managed to take care of Shiro. Both of them looked at the Hunters, who were quite confused by the sudden disappearance of their opponents, probably not having realized what had happened.

''What was- What are you doing here?! You can't be here!'' Loki shouted at Lucas and Warren as the two approached him.

''We know, but you guys had been held back by illusions. The Irregular is up there!'' Lucas pointed at the nearby building, where Tails was keeping Shiro paralyzed. Unfortunately for them, there was a small burst from one of the devices, catching on fire and fizzling out, with Tails' eyes widening as he realized what had just happened.

''No no no!'' Tails stared in horror as the devices broke down, clearly fried due to just how much power they had to channel, despite the twin-tailed fox's attempts at keeping the stream of energy as steady as possible. Sonic, who saw Shiro getting up, went for a kick, but was blocked by the fan, with Shiro glaring at both of them.

''This is not over yet!''

A wall of flames suddenly emerged, wrapping itself around Shiro and forcing Sonic to retreat, with the flaming orb suddenly falling off the building. Sonic and Tails gasped in shock, looking over the edge of the building, but as the flames dissipated, they realized that Shiro was gone.

''I thought I had her this time,'' Tails grumbled, only to feel a hand on his shoulder.

''Don't worry, little bro. I'm sure that next time, you'll be able to defeat her for good. You have already grown really strong,'' Sonic told him, with Tails smiling back in response. Both saw the Alpha Unit and their partners gathering below the building, with Tails grabbing Sonic's arms and then lowering both of them onto the street.

''You again!'' Loki exclaimed when he saw Sonic, clearly irritated. ''Seriously, hedgehog, every time there is an Irregular attack-''

Sonic shrugged. ''What can I say? I like to be in the middle of the action.''

''In my defense, I had fought Shiro before, when she had taken over Kita Inari Shrine,'' Tails added. Loki's eyes narrowed as he looked at Tails.

''Wait, were you one of the Inari Shrine kitsune that were supposed to guard it?'' he asked.

''I had left it a while ago, so I wasn't involved with it when Shiro came along. Me and my friends were the ones who discovered what had happened… Uh, we're not in trouble for that, right?'' Tails asked nervously. Loki just rubbed his temple, sighing. He then turned back to his unit.

''Go and check the area out for any signs of the Irregular. I'll take over this one,'' he said, with the squad spreading out. He then turned to Tails. ''Do you have any information that could help us in containing the Irregular? We know that she had been lurking in Kita to drain humans of their BioEnergy, and we have a report from the blue kitsune, named Ao, about her activities.''

''If you have Ao's statement, then I don't believe I can add much more to that. She is susceptible to EMP fields, though,'' Tails replied.

''I'll keep that in mind. Now, it would be the best for you to leave, especially you two since we have an Irregular on the loose, and we already had to send another person to the hospital,'' Loki said, looking over at Lucas and Warren.

''Except, we know how to deal with Irregulars,'' Lucas told him, with Warren giving him a look of concern. He didn't remember admitting that being part of the plan. ''You don't have to worry about us.''

''Again, being a Hunter, I'd be responsible for your safety-'' Loki said, only to get annoyed when Sonic interrupted him.

''Then just tell whoever's in charge that we'll take responsibility for our own safety,'' Sonic told him. He then folded his arms across his chest. ''Speaking of Irregulars, what do you guys even do with them?''

''That is none of your concern,'' Loki told him in a stern tone, wondering what this civilian ARNav was even up to.

''Do you know anything about an organization called ARMS?'' Sonic suddenly asked. Loki's jaw dropped, while Warren and Tails turned their attention towards Lucas, since from what they knew, they were supposed to keep the whole thing with ARMS a secret. Lucas just gave them a resolute look, as this was something he and Sonic had planned.

''H-How-?'' Loki stammered, only for Sonic to respond.

''Our friends have been taken by them. We're not supposed to talk, but I had figured that, as an Irregular Hunter, it would be fine to talk to you,'' Sonic replied. Loki fell suddenly silent.

''I see… Officially, I can't tell you anything, but unofficially, the only reason I'm aware of their existence is because I have seen several of their members visiting our HQ and taking away the Irregulars we had captured. I don't know what they do with them, but I had attended a meeting where they showed off an Irregular after they had done something to him, something that made him completely lifeless. My supervisor wasn't too keen on witnessing that.'' Loki's eyes narrowed, his voice lowering into a whisper. ''It really feels like some shady business.''

''Why are you telling us all of that?'' Lucas asked.

''Look, I know I shouldn't divulge information like that, but I don't like ARMS. Not to mention, if your friends are involved with them, I can only imagine in just how much trouble they are,'' Loki answered.

''They even told us to forget that our friends exist,'' Sonic added. Loki sighed.

''Figures… We had a similar situation with one of our human co-workers, who had managed to find an Irregular who did not want to absorb BioEnergy, which came as shock to us. She wanted to help the Irregular, but then those ARMS agents came, took both of them away, and when our co-worker returned, she acted like nothing happened and never told us what happened at ARMS. She later left and moved away, and we never heard anything back from her. Like said, shady business,'' he explained. ''I hope your friends make it out alive.''

''Do you know where they are?'' Lucas asked. Loki shook his head.

''I sincerely hope you'll never have to deal with them personally,'' he told them. ''I know it's not easy, but it would be better to avoid them.''

''I doubt it. They made it personal when they took away our friends' freedom,'' Sonic said, his tone serious.

xXx

''Unfortunately, the information we have on Agent Shadow is inconclusive… As in, the energy spike he created friend our computers and the technicians will take a couple of days to fix them,'' Dr. Manilla told Commander Williams. ''However, from what I have gathered, the hedgehog is incredibly powerful, and I believe that even Sakamoto didn't manage to get any correct data on his abilities. Furthermore, simply absorbing BioEnergy results in just the usual growth we observed in other Irregulars, but it when the hedgehog did… something, his energy levels suddenly went off the charts. I've never seen anything like this before,'' Dr. Manilla said in amazement. ''I'm asking your for permission to conduct more exams on the two, since they're refusing to participate.''

''Do you think they'd be ready for a mission?'' Commander Williams suddenly asked.

''Well, they're in good condition and the hedgehog's combat skills are quite astounding-'' Dr. Manilla was interrupted by the Commander.

''Then, I don't believe further exams are necessary. We need these two for the next mission,'' Commander Williams told her. Dr. Manilla pouted, but she nodded.

''Yes, sir. I'll try to salvage whatever data I can find on the computer,'' she muttered, walking out of the room. Commander Williams then turned to the other person in the room, his assistant.

''Call Agent Sakamoto, Agent Shadow and Agent Rouge to the meeting room for a briefing. I want them to be there in ten minutes tops,'' the Commander told the man, who just nodded and left. He then turned to his monitor, frowning as the insignia of the Eggman Empire flashed across the screen.

This mission was going to take priority.

Links:

#Previous Chapter

#Current Chapter

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#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[blackjackkent]

Amusingly, our entry point to the Lower City sewers is a ladder that leads down to a single room with four stone walls (one of which can be knocked down to progress).

One has to wonder a) what the point of this room/its manhole is within the wider sewer system, b) where the water came from, and c) how long that water has been stagnating here. The smell must be tremendous.

The wall to be broken down turned out to be a bit of pain; it is one of the "Sturdy" ones, meaning it only responds to damage of higher than 10 points in a single hit, and it seemed to be finicky about that, too - its description claims it's vulnerable to force damage, but a smokepowder bomb did nothing to it. I was struggling to figure out why Hector couldn't just punch through it until I remembered he hadn't taken his daily dose of hill giant strength potion. (I'm actually running low on them; really wishing I'd paid more attention to buying rarer crafting materials in the early part of the game. Live and learn, I suppose.)

Anyway, drank that down and the wall immediately folded like tissue paper.

The sewers have definitely seen better days.

None of this is changing Hector's mind about coming down here being a terrible experience and the worst part of adventuring so far.

I am still trying to stay fairly focused on getting to Minsc ASAP but of course the game isn't going to make that easy. I checked out a few side rooms on the way through the sewers because I didn't want to forget to come back for them, and one of them - a locked room behind an area blocked by noxious gasses - woke up the Emperor for a comment.

Hm. Okay, sure, let's take a look. Given we're planning to betray the Emperor at some point in the nearish future, knowing as much about it as possible would be important.

There's a log down here detailing Duke Stelmane's illness and eventual deterioration. (I don't think this is related to her murder per se, which I think was something different orchestrated recently by Orin, but Wyll did mention that in the length of time he knew Stelmane she seemed to get markedly more ill - that Ravengard said she'd had a stroke, but that Wyll seemed to doubt that for whatever reason.)

Aw. :(

This does line up with what the Emperor told us about its dealings with Stelmane and how they were far closer than simple business partners.

I've said this before, but I honestly am completely fascinated by the Emperor as a character. I am a sucker for characters that have very deep feelings that they are either super suble/non-demonstrative/suppressive about (hence some of why Hector is The Way That He Is, I suppose, not to mention Jenna, Matty, Adi, Elliot, and Randa) or wouldn't be expected to have them. And the Emperor, despite being a mind flayer, clearly had a VERY strong bond with Stelmane - and, potentially, with the PC if you allow it to play out that way.

I'm really pretty intrigued by the arc that is apparently available where you actually romance it; I am not a tentacle aficionado so there's no particular physical appeal for me, obviously, but from an emotional standpoint it seems like there is some interesting depth there.

Anyway, this is all moot to Hector's run, of course, because Hector wants to run as far away from the Emperor as possible, as soon as possible. XD (And he's kind of frustrated to learn about all these humanizing aspects of it, because it will just make the eventual betrayal harder.)

OK, let's take a look around.

[jenerousjenocide]

Familiar Face

CHAPTER 4 LESSGOOOO. Comments are always welcome!!

Prologue - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - A03 Mirror

Taglist: @skittleabyss

Growing up surrounded by the weave was, for a lack of a better word, magical.

Knowing that if you put your focus into something enough, say the right words and move your hands just the right way, you can create anything with an endless amount of possibilities. Being human comes with it's perks, which is something your father has told you time and time again throughout the years of growing up.

You had spent countless hours entertained by your father's tricks and light shows, teaching you everything you needed to know about the different planes of existence, showing you stories beyond your imagination that he claimed to have lived through his lifetime, along with the characters that came with it.

Your first memory is being taught how to conjure up potions with just a few simple ingredients, and during the time you detested having to read through lists and pick out which ingredient is what because according to your father 'this was just as important as connecting with the weave'. In a way you wonder if he regrets showing you so many wonders while you were young, not knowing how deep your fascination with it caused you to not what to pay attention to the more educational things life had to show you without the weave involved. 

It was your first potion that you realized you had an allergy to certain ingredients, having fallen unconscious in your father's arms and hearing the tales of how distressed he looked while bringing your limp body to your mother, expecting her to be furious with him for causing such harm to their beautiful baby girl.

She laughed instead, explaining that the allergy comes from her side of the family and that there was nothing to worry about, perhaps a headache and an upset stomach afterwards.

She was right, of course, she always was. 

Your relationship with your mother was complicated. She meant well, and you obviously knew that, but she was always so stubborn. The teenage years you fought to see eye to eye on a lot of things, not allowing you to explore outside of your hometown and keeping you homeschooled while the other kid your age got together and hung out to do their own thing. As much as you begged and pleaded to allow yourself some room to grow and become your own person, she shook her head and said you were safest where she or your father could keep a close eye on you. 

"You have no idea what dangers out there you'd end up facing." She'd always say, sitting by your side as you pout from your latest meltdown from being so frustrated and cooped up. "I have no idea what I'd do if anything happened to you."

She always had a way of calming you down even after saying so many awful things to her to make her hate you, making it look like she was on your side and ensuring your safety before anything.

In fact, safety was always at the forefront of your mother's mind, having taught you how to properly wield a dagger and defend yourself against anyone trying to attack from any direction.

When you were finally brought out on one of your mother's outings, unfortunately you weren't quick enough to defend yourself in time, leading to your mother having to take an arrow for you in the process and a very stern lecture from your father regarding bringing their underage daughter to a goblins camp for the sake of honing her skills.

You weren't allowed to join her anymore after that, and soon she'd end up sneaking out to ensure you didn't know and couldn't catch her in the act. 

She said your pout was her weakness, but your father said despite feeling a certain way with her heart, she always went forward with her actions using her brain in the end. 

This began a cycle of the same routine day in and day out. 

Wake up, eat breakfast, have magic lessons with your father, have lunch, training with your mother, dinner, maybe some reading, finally followed up with a good nights rest to start the whole process all over again.

As you grew into your later teens, there had been little left to show you. You had a knack for conjuring magic, becoming one with the weave and focusing your time and energy into spells that can both wow a crowd and protect you in a fight. Your skills with blades have excelled as well, knowing how to stick to the shadows and remain undetected- For the most part.

Your father was an easier target, your mother definitely wasn't.

But regardless of the promise you showed with the skills you were able to pick up on so quickly, it wasn't enough to allow you to leave. You were an only child, and you wondered if you had siblings or more family if they would been a little more lenient with the rules.

Until recently all you'd do was wake up to your bedroom, looking over your equipment, books and clothes strung about and audibly groan with the realization that your every day life was just as boring as the next.

That was until you opened your eyes and wasn't met with the familiar blue and purple hues of your galaxy themed room, there weren't any sounds of your parents talking or laughing outside your bedroom door.

Panic began to erupt in your chest as your brain rattled through a million different things at once, unable to move just yet as your eyes desperately dart around the room and remember what was happening.

The last thing you remember is the taste of wine on your tongue, arms around your waist before being lifted into the air and seeing red before it all faded to black.

Your head pounds as you remember your journey to Baldur's Gate, the masquerade party and finally realizing you've come face to face with an entire gothic monastery filled with immortal blood thirsty vampires. 

If this wasn't the shittiest first solo outing in the entire realm, you weren't sure what else could be. 

You curse at yourself under your breath, slowly feeling the familiar tingling sensation begin in the tips of your fingers and toes before moving up your limbs and your body was finally catching up on the fact you've woken up from your catatonic state. 

How much time has passed by? You generally don't end up unconscious for longer than 5 hours as the potion works it way through your body, but you are on unfamiliar territory filled with power hungry beings that wouldn't hesitate to rip you apart in a second simply for looking at them the wrong way.

You needed to get out, and fast.

First you made a mental checklist of things you were still aware of, your clothes still clearly on your body so there hadn't been any inappropriate touching from what you could tell, definitely obvious when you inch your hand over your thigh and realize your concealed dagger is still strapped to you. Your mask also still remained over your face, something you were grateful for but you couldn't see very clearly with the edges of the eyeholes obstructing your view. The once cool plastic against your skin suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable, you raise your trembling hands up and swiftly remove it from your face and toss it onto the bed next to you, the headache pounding in your head more apparent even as the pressure of the mask lifted from around your scalp.

You feel pathetic, hopeless and frightened. But you have no choice but to gather yourself despite the way your stomach churns as you muster your strength and push yourself up into a seated position to scan your surroundings. 

It was a rather large room, not like anything you've seen before. It looked as though it hadn't been lived in for years, but the silk sheets were obviously fresh from the way it felt against your skin. It had a comforting scent, some of which you can't quite put your finger on, but you detect a hint of rosemary and aged brandy, like the one your mother drank during special occasions. There was a seating area off to the side, with a coffee table and a bookshelf likely filled with valuable tombs and scriptures that could be useful to those in charge of the city itself. Despite the dusty chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the only source of light came from the candles lit along the walls. It was dark enough that you couldn't make out a lot of the surrounding details to the room, such as the paintings hung on the walls or the intricate designs of the wallpaper, but perhaps you could find something to work to your advantage.

There weren't any windows, so the plan to tie together every piece of fabric to create a rope and scale down the side of the building was out of the question- Not that you even knew how high up you were from the ground. 

Your eyes finally land on the only wooden door in the room, which could only be presumed to be the only way out. 

Your slow to get up, everything aching as you turn your body to swing your legs off the bed and nearly crumble to the floor when you find your footing with those god forsaken shoes on. Kicking them off, you figured it would be easier to make a run for it if you weren't hindered by the death heels in the process. If you had really thought through every scenario possible, maybe you could have saved yourself the trouble and packed all of your usual equipment in a bag of holding- But then again you took your parent's stories too seriously and actually believed the vampires in Baldur's Gate were long gone when Cazador Szarr had finally been taken down. You honestly can't say what you expected before arriving to the party, but it definitely didn't involve having an allergic reaction, losing consciousness and waking up in a strange dark bedroom.

You suppose it explains why there hadn't been much news about the city for years, but you wondered if they had been telling you the truth at all. 

In the moment it didn't matter, the only thing that did was getting out alive and chewing them out about your discoveries once you're safely back at home. 

With a sudden push, you sway towards the door, stumbling forward as your knees buckle beneath you and you catch yourself against the antique wood and golden doorknob. You give it a slight turn, realizing it had been locked from the outside, which is obviously just your luck.

Why did you even think it would be so easy? You really are a naive little girl. 

You take a step back, considering your options. There weren't many places to hide, until you settled upon the wardrobe once more. Perhaps you could wait it out, someone is bound to come back to claim their meal, right? You only needed to remain hidden long enough to get the door unlocked and when their back is turned you can sneak out before anyone could be the wiser. Maybe if you're lucky, they'll think the entire ordeal was a drunken nights hallucination and everyone can go on with their lives as if nothing happened. 

Somehow you doubt yourself even as the thought crosses your mind, but your options are limited and the clock is ticking. 

You stumble your way over to the wardrobe, with every step your head pounds but you're determine to carry out your plan the best you can. You're surprised to see it's empty, for the most part. It's lined with towels and there are a few fancy ruffle shirts hanging up, but it definitely wasn't as grand as you had expected. Part of you is just glad there weren't any literal skeletons in the closet, so to speak. You push forward, climbing up and securing a spot among the towels before closing the heavy wooden doors behind you, closing yourself in darkness and providing yourself enough room to peek through the crack in case anyone were to come in and walk by. 

You only need to wait until the opportunity presents itself. 

------

The party itself played out as normal, eventually some of the guests roamed home as the sun started to peak over the horizon, other guests were less than lucky to have been chosen by his spawn and taken away for a private meal between predator and prey. 

Astarion couldn't focus himself on the event at all, his mind swirling with ideas of what could be going on in his own home. Was someone playing a trick on him? Send a shape changing nymph after him to remind him of what he lost when he finally thought he had it all?

To be so lost in thought over this was destroying his mood to enjoy the evening, fuming at the idea a stupid human woman was causing him to spiral into madness from his own decisions and how he could have acted differently in order to keep her around. He had no real need for her any longer from the moment the black mass was completed, but to think had she provided a different response the night their relationship ended, she would likely have looked just as divine and youthful as the young girl he came across and left to rest in his chambers. 

He scolded himself, voices fighting within his own mind regarding the fate of the girl he locked away for safe keeping. He could turn you, make you as compliant as the rest of his children and keep you around as a reminder of the woman he once loved and lost. He could kill you, reminding himself that he doesn't need anyone or have time for weakness, if he rids himself of the problem before it becomes one, surely it'll finally be enough to put his heart at ease and settle the thoughts swarming his mind. He figured he could make that decision once he faced it, wanting answers regarding who you were and what your intentions really were when you decided to dress up and waltz into his home as though you weren't the most delectable creature to grace these halls in so long.

His mind wanders to when he was able to look at your neck, the way your chest rose and fell with every breath you took, how beautifully unmarked your silky skin was as it disappeared behind the plunging neckline of your dress. You were so pure, untainted and part of him wanted nothing more than to make you his and his alone. He wondered what your lips would feel like, looking so soft and delicious, nearly inviting him in to have a taste. He had no pained hunger for blood the way he did, but the idea of sinking his teeth into your soft skin and drinking your very life essence as his hands roamed your entire body was enough to make his mouth water and his lower abdomen twist in a way he hadn't felt for years.

It was only when he realized the hall had been cleared out of guests safe for a few spawn lingering about with their charmed or drunken conquests. Astarion had no issues where his children did their business, as long as it wasn't in his way or invading on his personal space. The sound of moans coming from their patrons was enough to snap him from his thoughts, the party coming to a close and he could finally get back to what had been plaguing his thoughts or what felt like hours. 

"Lawrence." He called, pushing himself up from his throne and loosening the top buttons of his shirt to give himself some room to breath, not realizing how pent up he had gotten just losing himself in thoughts of devouring you just moments before. "Ensure everything is cleaned up once everyone has cleared out, if any bodies are left over make sure it is taken care of discreetly. The last thing we need is angry civilians showing up to our doorstep with torches and pitchforks raised." 

"Yes, Master." The man replied quickly, straightening up from the moment he heard the first letter of his voice slip from his Lord's mouth.

He bowed his head as Astarion walked by, swiftly moving to start the clean up and keep his master pleased and avoid further punishment for his actions earlier in the night. It was obvious Astarion's thoughts were elsewhere, otherwise he would have been shoved into the kennel and told to stay put with nothing to feed on until his lesson of pushing the line was learned.

Astarion dug through his pocket as he approached the door of his chambers, pulling it out and slipping it into the lock. With a click, he opened the door and was greeted with the same darkness he had left it in, however notable that you were no longer resting on the bed where he had left you. He closed the door behind him, ensuring if you were determined to get past him, it would be just one more obstacle to overcome before you were free from his clutches. He had no reason to panic, or even get angry about the situation. Any sane person would be frightened waking up in an unfamiliar place, he expected you to hide. 

His eyes fell upon the shoes kicks across the floor, trailing up to the bed where the imprint of your body on the silk sheets could still be seen. The only other thing catching his attention would be the discarded black and gold mask now sitting on the bed in your place. He reached to pick it up, inspecting the piece of costume plastic as if it were a rare piece of art he had just come across. It was elegant, yet simple. Cute, even, and it looked absolutely divine with the dress you paired it with. 

You could see his back turned to you from your place in the wardrobe, your heart fluttering in your chest as you observe his every move and deduct when the best time to strike would be. You're glad the mask was distraction enough for you to make your next move, opening the doors just slightly enough to get a better view of the elf standing before you, clearly lost in his own world as his fingertips trace the intricate gold details against the black base. Your dagger was in hand, clenched in your fist as you slow your breathing and calm yourself from trembling too much. The wrong move and he could turn on you faster than you could conjure up a spell to protect yourself from his attack. 

You push the doors open wider. If he caught on, he's doing a good job hiding it. You aren't sure what it is about the mask that has him so captivated, but he remained wordlessly lost in thought.

The next few seconds pass by in a blur. You're feet are springing off the wooden base of the wardrobe, doors now flying open as you make your move. Why you aimed for his back, you aren't entirely sure, but before you realize it you've got your legs wrapped around his hips, one hand in his hair as you grip it and pull his head back while the other swings forward to press the blade against his neck. 

For a split second you believe you have the upper hand, until all you see is a flash and you have your back pressed up against the wall instead. The hand once holding the dagger to his neck now high above your head, your wrist caught in his tight grip while the other remained around your neck. You gasp as you feel the wind get knocked from your lungs, wincing as you try to keep up with the switch of positions and how to go about navigating your next steps. 

It takes a moment to adjust to the darkness, the candlelight doing very little to help you see, but a moment passes and you catch blood red eyes staring intently at your face, studying your every feature as if he was learning a new subject. He was so close to you, his body pressing up against yours to ensure you don't move from his grasp, his breath mixing with your own as you both remain silent with a tense unspoken feeling to the air.

You expected him to be angry, furious to have been placed in a situation where you could jump onto him like a spider monkey and threaten to cut his throat while he did nothing to threaten your safety.

But he wasn't. 

His eyes were wide, his grip around your throat loosening up as he searched your eyes for something. When he is this close you can see how his beautiful white eyelashes fluttered over his piercing eyes, the way they narrowed as though he was trying to register exactly what he was looking at, his eyebrows knitting up in what you could only describe as confusion and it felt as though you were staring at each other for ages.

Before you could open your mouth to say anything and cut the silence, his lips found yours in a heated kiss.

[cinema-hallucinations]

Prompt: create a movie concept set within a world where some animals grow to unusual size. Although these oversize are of human intelligence and capable of human speech (even while they are still much smaller), not all of them choose to communicate with humans.

Title: The Oversize

Tagline: What if the elephant in the room does NOT want to talk?

Logline: In a world where some animals grow to colossal sizes while retaining human intelligence, a young woman named Maya forms a unique bond with a giant, non-communicating elephant named Khan, challenging societal norms and fostering understanding between humans and these enigmatic over-sized creatures.

Characters:

Maya Sharma (20s): A curious and independent young woman, fascinated by the silent giants. She breaks societal norms by studying them and advocating for their rights.

Khan: A majestic giant elephant, towering over the city. He possesses human intelligence but chooses not to communicate with humans.

Dr. Anya Petrova (50s): A renowned animal behaviorist dedicated to understanding the silent giants. She encourages Maya's research, hoping to bridge the communication gap.

Rajiv Sharma (50s): Maya's father, a government official who believes the silent giants are a threat and should be controlled.

The Council: A group of influential figures who dictate societal policies regarding the over-sized creatures.

Plot Summary:

In a world where colossal animals co-exist with humans, a sense of unease lingers. These "over-sized" animals, born indistinguishable from their smaller counterparts, grow to immense size while retaining human-level intelligence. However, some, like the giant elephants, choose not to communicate with humans, creating an atmosphere of fear and suspicion.

Maya Sharma, her curiosity piqued from a young age, defies societal expectations. While encouraged by her father, a government official, to pursue a "safe" career, she finds herself drawn to the silent giants. She enrolls in Dr. Anya Petrova's research program, dedicated to understanding the minds of these enigmatic creatures.

One day, Maya encounters Khan, a majestic elephant who towers over the city. Drawn to his quiet wisdom, Maya begins observing him, learning his routines, and attempting to decipher his silent movements. To everyone's surprise, Khan begins responding in subtle ways, recognizing Maya and allowing her closer than anyone else.

Their silent communication blossoms into a unique bond. Maya learns that the over-sized creatures often choose silence not because of a lack of intelligence, but as a form of protest against the limitations and control humans seek to impose on them.

Through Khan, Maya gains insights into the giants' desires for autonomy and their frustration with being treated as commodities. She shares her findings with Dr. Petrova, who recognizes the importance of Maya's bond with Khan. Together, they present their research to The Council, hoping to change human perception.

The climax arrives during a public demonstration advocating for the over-sized creatures' rights. Rajiv, initially skeptical, witnesses Khan gently protect a child from falling debris. This act of kindness, fueled by Khan's silent intelligence, sways public opinion and forces The Council to reconsider their policies.

Themes:

The importance of communication and understanding between different species.

Recognizing intelligence beyond human language.

Challenging societal norms and advocating for animal rights.

Visual Style:

The film utilizes a visually stunning blend of practical effects and CGI to showcase the awe-inspiring scale of the over-sized creatures. The contrast between the bustling human world and the quiet majesty of the giants creates a sense of wonder and intrigue. Maya's interactions with Khan are depicted through subtle gestures and emotional expression, highlighting the power of nonverbal communication.

The Oversize is a heartwarming and thought-provoking story that explores the challenges and possibilities of co-existing with intelligent, non-human beings. It celebrates the power of curiosity, empathy, and the unexpected ways communication can blossom.

[gabbagepatch]

Ah, fuck. 2/29/2024

Well, I'm certainly a little worse off since my last blog.

My symptoms have gotten much worse since the death of my dog, and I've acquired a cute anxiety disorder to go along with it. It's definitely some kind of medical anxiety, I am terrified of every creak and groan from my body. I'm expecting my health to rapidly deteriorate at any moment, any event to set off a fatal reaction in my body. It's completely ridiculous! I feel barely functional this week, and the worst part is that I know it's my anxiety but I can't stop! Knowing logically that you're fine seems to do little to prevent your body from deciding you're in a life-or-death scenario. The human mind is fascinating and stupid.

Luckily I have a wonderful PCP and he was happy to give me a months supply of sertraline, which I started Monday. I have to say it's already helping, no panic attacks since the first dose!

Both ears are now experiencing tinnitus, whereas before it was unilateral. This is causing me so, so much stress and anxiety because I have already lost hearing in my right, I don't want to lose hearing in my left as well.

I think the new bilateral tinnitus is causing an increase in headaches and stomach upset as well, which feels very debilitating at the moment. I am having a very hard time eating, I'm hungry all the time but can barely manage a few bites of food. It's awful.

Reached out to a therapist yesterday and I have the appointment tomorrow with an intern. I have no clue why the "intern" option appealed to me but it did, perhaps I am having some kind of clairvoyance? Hopefully it goes well, it's online which is great because I'm struggling to drive lately.

All of this combined means I chose to pull out of 2/3 classes I'm taking this semester. It's honestly breaking my heart! I was doing so well before the symptoms got worse and I lost my dog, I was enjoying my classes so much. Knowing I'm withdrawing with A's and B's is beyond frustrating; if only things were different. It makes me so sad honestly.

TLDR; I am having a rough time right now. I always keep it pushing though. Keeping up with skincare, reading, my custom nails, my ethics class. I'm doing whatever I can when I can, which isn't very much right now. I'm taking so many naps, I feel like I could sleep one hundred years. But anyways, I'm gonna come out of this better, I have faith in that.