#i KNOW I have a self insert tag but I can never remember what it is.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[shmothman]

"Fictional gay parasocial enemy"?? PLEASE elaborate. Why would you and nighteye have beef. i gotta know.

I… cannot talk about self insert shit without putting it under a readmore it’s too embarrassing. This is embarrassing bullshit 🤣

(Note: I stopped reading the manga almost 4 years ago. Maybe he’s changed. Maybe he’s dead. Idk if he’s even been in the manga since the fuckin uhhh overhaul arc I don’t remember shit this is all from the version of boku no hero that lives in my head.)

So first off nighteye is a petty bitch. idc if he changed his tune about midoriya after overhaul he was just being petty because the guy he’s in love with wouldn’t listen to him (newsflash asshole you’re in love with the guy with the world’s biggest savior/self-sacrifice complex. you’ve known this the whole time). (Nevermind that I would also be a little upset if I Forsaw the death of the guy I’m in love with and he wouldn’t listen to me and try to prevent it.)

Secondly this would not be a one sided hatred. He would hate my SI so much. For. You know. Uhhhh getting his man. But he’d be so petty and sneaky about it. He would never be a bitch about it in front of toshi. My SI wouldn’t be a fuckin snitch. They would be perfectly pleasant to each other when he’s around. He would be very happy about his friend and his partner getting along so well. And then he leaves and nighteye and my SI drop their fuckin acts. It’s jealously on both ends. Well. More on his end. My SI did get the guy. And nighteye lowkey thinks toshi can do better (namely, that toshi should love him).(Another note: my SI doesn’t meet toshi until post-injury, they don’t get together until after kamino ward. Quite a while afterwards, but I don’t really have a *place* in canon where it happens bc again. I stopped reading 4 years ago. So nighteye and toshi are already friends again when toshi starts dating my SI.) I do think they can get over this (probably fairly quickly honestly) and mostly actually be friends but not until he fucking apologizes for being a jealous bitch.

So basically my SI is mostly mad that he’s being a petty bitch and thinks they aren’t good enough for toshi. And also that he was ever mean to Izuku. And his whole Thing makes me uncomfortable.

[kikitakite]

I saw your callout in the Gale tag for that one user (no comment on them, tho ty for the callout bc i'd seen them in the notes of my fics) and was curious if you could elaborate on some of the Mystra incidents you described towards the end of the post? I'm new to the lore of the setting and find it hard to research (which makes sense given its importance to dnd), so I've heard a lot of conflicting things about Mystra's portrayal in the wider series. No pressure, obviously!

No problem! And yea, I've seen her arguing in the posts of a few people I follow or just Gale-related posts I find interesting. Usually I don't get involved in stuff like this, but I noticed a constant pattern and then all the homophobic shit so I went off a little.

Unfortunately it's hard to find exact examples of the Mystra lore because certain modules aren't very popular or even free to access, but if you're interested the best way to learn about her is by reading the Elminster novels. There's twelve total, dating all the way back to 1994, and they detail Elminster's adventures. I'll be honest though, some of them are a hard read and written through the lens of a man who's admitted very creative, but also has a lot of problematic ideas.

In the first book Elminster is a child. His entire town gets wiped out by mages, thereby making him hostile toward magic. He sneaks into Mystra's temple to deface her statue one night, but she appears before him and basically gaslights him into learning magic and becoming her rare Chosen. He becomes a wizard and cleric basically overnight, until eventually he multiclasses into pretty much every class type in DnD. As you can imagine a lot of players aren't too fond of Elminster, as he's a well known self-insert of the author and pretty annoying to run into during campaigns. None of my dungeon masters like him anyway.

He also becomes one of Mystra's most loyal followers, but she fucks with him over and over, turning him into a woman to teach him a lesson and SLEEPING with him in that form, berating him when he struggles with the torture he endures when he gets stuck in the hells, making him reproduce without his knowledge and getting jealous when he gives his partners more attention. Because she's a very jealous goddess, which I think the game vaguely touches on but not really.

I wish I had the time to flip through all the novels and give exact citations but the best I can do is suggest them, because they're so eye opening. She's considered a neutral good goddess, but neutral gods often do terrible things for the sake of their domain. I think it needs to be noted that Mystra, as with all gods in the pantheon, only cares about her portfolio. She isn't wrong for that, but it doesn't mean she's blameless when she messes with people's lives. She's done a lot of good but she's also made horrible decisions, especially where her followers are concerned.

For example, Elminster having children he doesn't know about. He has a daughter named Narnra. Her conception was... pretty fucked up. Basically a song dragon named Ammaratha Cyndusk was an occasional lover of Elminster's (he has a lot of those because of course he does) and she wanted to bear his child, but since he's a Chosen of Mystra he can control his fertility. Magic birth control, basically. He didn't want a kid so Ammaratha went behind his back to learn a counterspell that would make him fertile during sex. The man she asked refused to teach her because...duh that's messed up, but then Mystra intervened and told him to teach her the spell because she wanted Elminster's "seed to spread". Ammaratha never told him and neither did Mystra. No matter what the reasons, that was NOT consensual on Elminster's part, and it happened two more times, resulting in two more daughters with different women. If I remember correctly Elminster did eventually find out waaaaay later when they were all adults, but it never amounted to anything.

The sisters I was taking about are the Seven Sisters, Mystra's "daughters". And I put "daughters" in quotations because Mystra possessed the body of a woman named Elué and impregnated her without her consent. She slept with the woman's husband (again, while possessing her body) and made them sire seven children. This of course lead to Elué's death because the constant flow of magic in her body was too much for her to handle. Her grieving husband broke after she died and eventually left, abandoning his daughters and earning Mystra's scorn...as if he was in the wrong. The sisters were then orphaned and raised by foster families.

That said, most of the awful things anyone can say about Mystra were the doings of her previous incarnations so ultimately it doesn't apply to the Mystra of BG3. In fact, this third Mystra is supposed to be a new and improved goddess who's nicer to her followers. So her portrayal in BG3 annoyed a lot of DnD fans. I should also point out that Mystra has two types of fans: ones who will defend everything she does, even when it's fucked up beyond all comprehension, and the ones who will tell you she's a true neutral goddess capable of good and bad. I'm the latter. There are plenty examples of Mystra sticking her neck out for innocents, but there's also examples of her doing the most horrendous shit imaginable.

A lot of veteran players, at least the ones I know, are upset with the portrayal of Mystra in BG3 because her plan to end the Absolute is, quite frankly, stupid. Your party is the best chance anyone has of ending the threat, but she asks Gale to nuke himself and possibly tens of thousands, which makes no sense because she could've just sent her mages/clerics to deal with the problem. And there was no guarantee the bomb would've worked anyway. She put all the responsibility on one man and it DEFINITELY comes off as vindictive. That isn't out if character for her but she's not SUPPOSED to be that bad anymore. For a lot of DnD players it felt like she was reverting back to her old habits.

I think there's also a part in the game where you can directly ask Gale why she doesn't just blip the Absolute out of existence and he says something like, "She could but Ao won't allow it." That was also really strange for a lot of veteran players to hear because Gale drops Ao's name like it's nothing. Most people (especially if they're new to the franchise) wouldn't know this but most people in Faerûn don't know who Ao is! Because he wiped people's memories of his existence! I suppose it does make sense for Gale to know that name, since Mystra probably explained the pantheon to him, but it's VERY unlikely tav would know it. So during that conversation all I could picture was tav tilting their head like, "Huh? Who? Whaaa?"

And on top of that......Ao absolutely WOULD allow it because the Absolute effects the Weave and every other god! It had the potential to ruin the balance of the universe, which makes Ao a very angry boy. Balance is one of the ONLY things he cares about. The Dead Three were stealing souls and worshippers, which gods needs to survive, and dying gods disrupts the balance. It's a whole circle of chaos. So the only conclusion left for me to extrapolate is this: Mystra just really, really wanted Gale to kill himself to prove his devotion to her. Which...isn't great. Bad look for her.

It's kind of like how Raphael thinks the Crown of Karsus is going to help him end the Blood War and take over the hells. DnD players laughed during his epilogue because...no it won't lol. He doesn't stand a chance even with the crown. He's arrogant and he's gonna get slapped by his daddy and all the other archdevils, the same way Gale gets slapped by Mystra if he ascends. Even the Absolute ending of the game wouldn't last long because the gods would go to war with the Dead Three, wipe them out and rebuild Faerûn, which has happened many times in past DnD campaigns. Mystra alone has torn worlds apart and glued them back together. The main crisis of BG3 is saving the world you live in or everybody dies. For the gods it's just a Tuesday. I mean look at how Withers owns the Dead Three with a wave of his hand at the end of the game. Mystra COULD'VE killed the Absolute, just as she could've removed the orb from Gale's chest the moment it happened. She just didn't WANT to. She wanted him to die. She wanted him to chastise himself. She wanted him to suffer and come crawling back to her as an obedient follower. She wanted him to learn a harsh and honestly unfair lesson, which is a terrible throwback to her previous incarnations.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

You Should Come Thru (Hawks x Self-Insert!Reader 18+ One Shot) [COMMISSION FILL]

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” you awkwardly chuckle. “There must be truth serum in this tea or somethin’.”

“Actually, no, it’s weed.”

“….What?”

Fan Art by @almaadst ❤️❤️

Pairing: Keigo "Hawks" Takami x Black!Self-Insert!Reader

Synopsis: After a month of hard work, no play, and a bad date, Hawks invites you over to his apartment for some tea to relax and finally get some time with his bestie, but as the night grows long, you suddenly lose your filter and begin telling him things that he shouldn’t know. All because of his very special tea. 

Tags: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Friends to Lovers; Hurt/Comfort; Marijuana Consumption; Stripping; Mutual Oral; Mutual Masturbation; Body Worship; Voyeurism; High Sex; Dubcon (only because of the weed but there is verbal consent given); Facesitting; Riding; Mild Choking; Mirror Sex; Dom!Hawks/sub!Reader; Mild Namecalling; Wing Stroking; Unprotected Sex; Creampie; Aftercare 

Writer's Note: Thank you again to @curiouscutie143 for trusting me with your fantasies & ideas enough to bring them to life! -Jazz

********

When you knock on his door that late night, Keigo already knows you are standing behind it. 

He smiles at seeing your face in the peephole and opens the door without a greeting. Seeing you there still in your work dress, shoes, and pantyhose from before, he leans against the door frame and smirks at you despite your tired expression. “Well, what a surprise,” he says, sarcasm evident. “I don’t suppose you’re selling something?” 

You hold your tote bag and a box from the restaurant you went to tonight in your hands. “If you think it’s a free dessert that the waitress gave me ‘cause she felt so bad for me, then yes, I do,” you glumly reply. “Can I come in?” 

Keigo’s smile grows as he runs a hand through his short-cropped, blonde hair. “Shit, you kiddin’ me?” he chuckles. “Nothing’s better than pity dessert. Come right in.” 

He opens the door wider, allowing you to walk inside the gorgeous, empty penthouse. Judging by Keigo’s attire of sweats, a white tee, and some slides, he was busy cleaning up for your arrival. The counters are clean, the pillows are fluffed and organized on the couch, and the TV is playing the newest episode of “Dinner In Dungeon” on Netflix. 

“Take off your shoes,” he says, shutting the door behind you. “You look like you need to.” 

You immediately do so, sitting down on the expensive couch in front of the TV to kick off the flats that you’ve been wearing all day at work. Keigo comes over to take the box of dessert from your dinner date, giving you a soothing smile as he does. 

“Thank you again for letting me come over, Kei,” you sigh, relieved to have your feet released from the traps of your shoes. “I’m sorry it’s so late.” He pulls a sour face at you. “Don’t apologize,” he says. “My crib, your crib. Besides, I invited you over here after work to chill, remember?” 

He turns to walk into his pristine, thousand-dollar kitchen with its granite counters, silver steel appliances, wine cooler, and personal mini-bar that has long since been used less since he eased up on his drinking. After Keigo got his burn scars from his fight with Dabi that almost claimed his life, he turned into a whole different person…for the better. 

He cropped his hair down to snip off the burned ends from the fire, bulked up a bit more so his muscles are more defined, and he stays out of the limelight more than he used to. Less clubs, fewer groupies, and less expensive shopping sprees. The burn scars on his cheek, neck, and back are testaments of the changes he’s gone through.

But he’s still the same man you’ve been friends with for years now. You first met him three years ago when he opened his account with your bank with you as his teller. Years later, you’re still his teller and your friendship is stronger than ever. You’d never do anything to change that…even though deep down, you secretly want to. 

“Well, that was to relax because you think I’m killing myself with work; not to trauma dump about my string of bad dates.” You kick your feet up on the couch, wriggling your painted toes. 

Keigo pauses in the kitchen and walks back over to the doorway, leaning his hip against it. His shirt rises up a bit to show off one of his burn scars and his toned lower stomach where you see a patch of blonde hair. You look away. “Oh,” he realizes. “Tonight wasn’t the one, huh?” 

You look back up at him, feeling your stress and the tension inside of you since your Uber ride here from your date melt away at the sight of his soft, almost somber expression. 

“Definitely not.” 

He comes over to you, holding your dessert on a plate with two forks for you both. Your waitress took it upon herself to personally give you a free chocolate mousse cake topped with whipped cream and peaches. She probably saw how unhappy you were on your Bumble date and did it as a way to make sure you didn’t stab yourself with a fork. 

“Well, you know what eases stress from work and makes you feel better after bad dates?” Keigo smirks down at you, his golden eyes tinkling. “Ugh, no weed, please,” you say in disgust. “And no alcohol. I had two glasses of wine at dinner.” Hawks shoots you a look. “Don’t worry, I took an Uber here.” 

“No, tea,” he finally answers, laughing lightly. “Not alcohol and of course not weed! I know you don’t smoke, silly girl…unless you do now.” He smirks at you. “Is work kicking your ass that bad?” 

You roll your eyes, taking a fork to get a piece of your dessert. “Like you wouldn’t believe,” you sigh. “Ever since I took that promotion, it’s like they’re running me ragged over there. The only good thing is that this pay leaves me with extra money after the bills and rent are paid.” 

You’ve had your job as a bank teller for over six years now and you take it very seriously…however, when you clock out, you don’t take calls or texts from work. Your time out of work is your own which you usually spend sleeping. Ever since you received your promotion several months ago because of your great work ethic, you haven’t spent much time doing much except working and sleeping. Which means your time with Keigo has taken the back burner. 

“Well, tell me all about it while I getcha a cup,” he says, taking a forkful of the cake before walking into the kitchen. “Take the load off and relax.” You hear him putz around in the kitchen, clinging this and clanking that, while you eat your dessert. It is rich and sweet with the peaches adding the right amount of juiciness and syrupy sweetness. 

“Don’t get me wrong, the job has great benefits, but…sometimes, I feel like I’m gonna disappear. I barely have time to hang out with you now.” You frown, thinking off all of those video game nights and days on the town that have vanished because of your exhaustion. When you come home from work, you immediately hit the hay like you haven’t slept in decades. 

And on the weekend, a time that is meant for freedom, you’re spending it in your apartment getting ready for work again! It’s exhausting! 

“Oh, I know,” Keigo calls. “That’s why I invited you over. What kind of tea ya want?” You lay back against the pillows, putting your hands on your plump stomach. “What do you got?” 

“Uhhh, Merlo, orange blossom, camomile, lemon mint, lavender—“ 

“Lemon mint, please,” you decide. “With honey and sugar.” Keigo’s fluttery laughter exits the kitchen as he fills a kettle of water and puts it on the stove. “V, we’ve been friends for years. I know how you take your tea after making it for you for so long. Keep talking.” 

You smile, glad to have someone who knows you so well. You groan, your feet flopping against the couch tiresomely. “I'm just so tired all of the time now. I don’t even look forward to my days off because all I do is sleep!” 

After a few minutes of the tea kettle whistling and more putting around in the kitchen, Keigo exits the kitchen with a tray of two tea cups, organized tea bags, and the cutest little pots of sugar and lemon slices you’ve ever seen. He sits down beside you on the couch and fixes you a cup. ”I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you,” you sigh apologetically. “Even with your hero work, you still make time for me.” 

His golden eyes cut over to you, serious yet soft. “Hey,” he firmly says. “Stop. Life is hard. Adulting sucks. We’re still friends regardless of work and responsibilities. Now drink.” 

He hands you a cup of your tea, the scent of lemon mingled with mint filling your nostrils. You hold the warm cup against your nose and breathe in the steam before taking a much-needed sip. You’re immediately filled with warmth. “Ah,” you sigh. “That’s nice.” 

Keigo leans back against the couch with you, spreading his legs as he sips his tea and visibly relaxes into the couch. You keep your eyes straight ahead, not wanting to stare dead at his thighs or his groin though it’s right in earshot. “See? Works like magic…though weed works too.” He breathes in his lavender tea and takes a sip, his eyes fluttering shut. You like seeing him relaxed like this. He looks way more handsome to you in this state.

You don’t quite know when you started thinking this way about your friend. You just know that these thoughts have yet to go away. But you won’t dare acknowledge them or tell him anything. Keigo is your bestie and that is how he’ll stay. You two have been through way too much as friends and have too much of a great relationship for you to ruin it with emotions you can’t decipher or make sense of. 

He turns to you now, pulling your feet into his lap. “So tell me about this date you had tonight. Didn’t you say it was with some guy you met on Bumble?” 

You nod, sipping your tea. “Yeah, we’d been talking for about two weeks and decided to meet for dinner. Really, I just agreed because he was paying and I thought it’d be a good distraction from work, but…” 

You pause, not really wanting to delve into tonight’s story about your horrible date. You started dating again five months ago, going through dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge. You figured trying to find a nice, loving relationship wouldn’t hurt, but so far, your efforts have been futile. If you haven’t found hookups, you’ve found a slew of bad dates with mansplainers, closet incels, and the scummiest losers on these apps. The most recent one takes the cake. 

Keigo raises an eyebrow at you. “But?” he encourages. “Damn, was he that bad?” He laughs a bit, though he tries to stifle it as much as he can. 

You sigh, picturing your date tonight. He was a beautiful man on the outside—Colgate smile, curly hair, nice body—, but on the inside, you felt like you’d need all kinds of cleaning products to clean up his nasty personality. “Well, let’s just say I won't be calling him again.” 

Keigo laughs at this and you shove him in the arm. “At dinner, all he talked about was himself, he kept sneakily checking out other girls even though I saw, and then he acted like I had to give him “some” just because he paid even though he said he would! I even suggested we split!” 

The pro grows increasingly interested in hearing about this, especially hearing that your date was clearly a whore. “Well, what did he say?” he asks. You stare at the TV, not really watching the show. “He just kept trying to get me to go home with him, telling me he had good beer back at his place. When I said no, he looked fed up.” 

You take a sip of your tea, becoming more open with every sip. “Like, I should’ve been the one who was fed up,” you scoff. “I had to force him to ask questions about me at dinner because he kept droning on about the fact that he’s a licensed plumber and how he usually meets girls below his caliber.” 

You roll your eyes, something you’ve been doing all night. You’re shocked they haven’t rolled into the back of your head or fallen out yet. Keigo makes a noise between a disproving grunt and a lamented groan. “Oh, he was that type of guy.” He takes a forkful of the cake. 

You do the same, your hands brushing against one another as you reach for your fork. You ignore the slight spark you feel when you touch him. “Yeah,” you sigh. “But the thing is I don’t even think he liked that I have a job where I have a higher salary than he does. He was so weird about it.” 

You take another sip of the tea and pause, realizing that you’re not as angry or as disappointed as before. You feel so relaxed and at ease, your body melting into the sofa. It’s like you’re at a spa, listening to soothing music while you get your feet rubbed. “God, I’m so relaxed. That’s a first in I don’t know how long.” 

Keigo smiles, happy to hear this. “Well, that’s a good thing. Now….” He lowers his cup down and places a hand on your ankle. “Tell me more.” And so you do. You tell him about your bad date, your fears about being alone, your mother constantly getting on you about being single and giving her some grandbabies soon, etc. 

With every sip of your magical tea, you become more open and honest with your friend, running off with the mouth about your life. Keigo listens intently, running his hands over your aching feet and flicking the TV channel every so often. He never once speaks or interrupts. He only listens, which is exactly what you need. 

Finally, once the tea is almost gone, you sit back against the couch and hug a pillow to your chest. “I don’t think he’s ever gonna call again,” you continue, referring to your Bumble date. “And I don’t care! I’m so tired of meeting the same jerks who only wanna brag about themselves to anyone who will listen and only look at women as sex toys.” 

Keigo pushes the plate of empty cake aside, pouring you more tea in the process. “Not to sound like your dad or anything, but why do you even wanna try if the dating pool is so shitty?” 

You take a moment to think about it, mostly because your mind is moving so slowly. It’s like everything is moving in slow motion. Maybe going on your date after work wasn’t a good idea. “I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to try to find somebody good.” Keigo raises an eyebrow at you. “Somebody good?” he asks. “What does a “good” partner look like to you, V?” 

You are stunned by the question and suddenly at a loss of words. You’re not sure why. You’ve had these types of conversations with Keigo all the time! But suddenly, you feel nervous and like the walls around you are closing in. 

“Like…I dunno….someone who listens and is interested in me. Someone who’s understanding, caring, kind…someone who doesn’t always think about themselves. Someone who I can count on for anything.” 

Keigo doesn’t say anything. He just fixes you with an unreadable yet almost personal expression. “Don’t get it twisted though: I love my life as it is!” you quickly add. “I’ve got a great job, a crib, a car, friends, family...I don’t want you to think I’m desperate for a man to make me feel complete.” 

The blonde sips on his tea, looking confused at your sudden interest in proving to him that you’re not desperate for a man. “I didn’t say that.” 

But you continue on: “It would just be nice, y’know, to have a loving relationship. Sometimes I get lonely and I think that I’ll die alone with my cat.” You play with your fingers, looking at anything but him. You don’t want to see the pity in his eyes. 

“I know that it’s just me being stupid and overthinking shit, but it’d be nice to have someone I click with, like we do,” you confess. “I’d like a partner like…you.” 

That’s who you want in a partner. Someone who thinks of you like they think of themselves. Someone who is there for you to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a smile that gives you butterflies. Someone who you look forward to seeing and makes you happy when you think about them. Someone like your good friend, Keigo. 

Shyly, you look at him and you can see the stun in his eyes at your confession. Realizing how this sounds, your body and face flame up. “No, no, not like that!” You protest, flustered. “I-I just mean I’d want a guy like you as a partner. Y’know, someone who makes me feel safe and secure. Beautiful, even.” 

The silence that swells around you is intense and uncomfortable. You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” you awkwardly chuckle. “There must be truth serum in this tea or somethin’.” You lower your cup down on the coffee table, pushing it away as if it’s poison. 

“Actually, no,” Keigo says. “It’s weed.” 

You pause, letting the wheels turn in your head as you process what he just said. “....What?” you finally ask. “You’re joking.” You even giggle to yourself, but he doesn’t. You can tell from the look he’s giving you. “You’re serious,” you realize. 

He sips on his tea, somehow proving it to you by doing so. “Deadass,” he replies. 

“Hawks, what the fuck?!” You shout, sitting up from the couch. “Why would you do that?! You know I don’t smoke!” Keigo clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Oh, relaaaax,” he draws. “I didn’t put that much in it. Just enough to relax you. If I would’ve asked, you would’ve said no.” 

“Of course, I wouldn’t say no!” you protest, jumping up from the couch. “Because I don’t do drugs!” 

“Well, neither do I!” he retorts, standing up with you. “I’m not a pill popper or nothing, V. It’s just weed. All it does is soothe your nerves, gives you the munchies, and makes you sleep. Speakin’ of munchies, I’ve got some fried chicken takeout left in the fridge.” 

“And it also makes your anxiety skyrocket,” you angrily argue. “That explains why I’m runnin’ off with the mouth and sayin’ shit that I shouldn’t be saying!” 

You place a hand on your head, feeling it thump like a heartbeat. Speaking of heartbeat, you become hyper-aware of how much it has increased in the last few minutes and now, you can’t stop focusing on it. “God,” you exhale. You close your eyes, trying to slow your breathing and your racing mind. 

Keigo immediately turns around and rushes to you, laying a hand on your back. “You okay?” he asks, worried. Once he realizes what’s happening, he immediately springs into action and takes your hand. Slowly, he leads you back over to the couch and sits you down. 

“Stay there,” he says and as fast as lightning, he zooms back to the kitchen to get you some water and flaps back over on his big, red, fluffy wings like an angel. “Sip this,” he says, handing you the glass. “Just relax, honey. You’re okay. It’s just the weed talkin’.” 

He gently touches your knee and rubs it as you drink the ice water, taking slow sips. You try to ignore how hot you feel with him touching you, but it’s impossible to ignore. It’s been a long time since a touch has made you feel like this. His voice too—so soft and silky. “I promise I didn’t put that much in there,” he says, sounding guilty. “But maybe I shouldn’t have put any in at all. I’m sorry, V. I just didn’t like seein’ you so tired.” 

His hand gently grasps your knee and you shudder like he’s touching bare skin. “I had hoped this would relax you. You walk around like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, y’know? The bad dates don’t make it better.” 

He looks at you then. Really looks at you, like he sees all of you—the woman you are, the woman he sees, and the woman you want to be. All in those golden irises like sunken treasure. “You deserve to be happy,” he softly says. “And you deserve to have a partner who will make your happiness and well-being their top priority. I hope whoever it is knows how amazing of a person they’ve got.” 

And in his eyes and his handsome face, you see it. He’s telling the truth. Suddenly, you feel warm and those butterflies start flapping away in the pit of your stomach. Looking at him, you think to yourself that all that you want in a partner…could it be that maybe, just maybe, who you want is…him? 

Suddenly, your hand moves on its own and cups Keigo’s face. He flinches slightly, stunned by the sudden movement, but he doesn’t push you away. “V?” he whispers, furrowing his brows at you. 

Wordlessly, you lean in slowly, assessing his face and giving him time to pull away. He doesn’t. It’s like you’re watching yourself from the outside, but you can’t stop yourself from pressing your lips to his. The kiss is tentative and short, but it absolutely sets your entire body ablaze. His lips are soft and taste faintly of lavender from the tea. His cologne engulfs your nostrils, making your hormones run wild. 

It’s the best kiss you’ve ever had in your life…and it just so happens that it’s with your best friend. 

You pull away, both of you silently staring at one another, shocked by how great of a kiss that was and what the fuck just happened. Keigo doesn’t freak out or even remotely act like he didn’t enjoy it. He only whispers, “V”, his voice barely above a whisper. But it’s enough to send your mind careening back down to Earth. “I’m so sorry,” you say, your voice small. “I didn’t…I-I don’t know why I—“ 

But Keigo stops you by turning your face towards his again and kissing you once more. This one is longer and slower. He takes his sweet time getting to know your lips and introducing you to his, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb stroking your jaw. It feels good. 

So good, in fact, that you find your hands moving to his shoulders, your fingers feeling up his toned arms and biceps. It feels good. He feels so good. You can’t believe how right it feels to be kissing and touching him. Slowly, he pulls away, his breathing ragged. “We should probably talk about this.” 

But you pull him back in for more kisses, these ones eager and heated. “We can talk later,” you whisper. “Just keep kissing me.” He listens to you, a soft moan leaving his lips as your tongue caresses his bottom lip. He parts his lips, granting you access, and your tongues begin to swirl amongst each other as your hands wander. You feel the, on your waist, your back, your ass, squeezing and kneading. 

At some point, Keigo walks you back to the couch and sits down first, pulling you on top of him. A soft, surprised moan escapes you as his hands grip your ass, keeping you locked in his lap. You straddle him and his groin, encasing him in the heat between your luscious, jiggly thighs. You keep kissing, your hands sliding down his chest, indulging in his muscles, and wanting so much to feel his bare skin. 

He pulls away with a soft pop as your lips disconnect, his gaze hooded and dazed as he stares up at you. “You feel so good here,” he sighs. “You’re so soft.” He pushes himself against you as he begins to pepper your neck with soft kisses. You moan, tossing your head back, letting him litter your throat in slow, wet smooches. Unconsciously, your body responds by grinding against him, causing something very hard to grow between your thighs. 

You gasp, looking down at his bulge. You got your best friend hard! He gives you a sheepish look with an endearingly awkward smile. “Sorry. You’ve got me excited.” A fire ignites inside of you, desperate to be freed. It might be the weed, but you feel just as excited and aroused as he is. “That’s the idea,” you giggle. You lean in to kiss him, nibbling on his bottom lip. “Bedroom. Please.” 

Keigo’s eyes flash with worry, your plea awakening something in him. “Are you sure you want this?” he whispers. “We can stop here if you want to—“ 

“No,” you exhale, shaking your head. “I don’t wanna stop. I want this.” To prove your point, you take his hand and slide it between your thighs for him to feel your second heartbeat. Your pussy is throbbing and sobbing for him, quickly becoming more insistent on being touched. Keigo’s mouth parts, a shuddering breath leaving his lips. 

You watch his wings shudder and ruffle as if you’ve touched them. He’s told you before that his feathers are sensitive. You make a mental note to experiment with them later as he cups his hands under your ass. “Hang onto me then,” he orders. “Don’t look down, okay, darlin’?” 

The pet name makes you feel hot all over and you nod, holding onto him tight. You lock your arms and legs around him as he stands up with you in his arms and gently flutters his wings. Though you gasp as you’re suddenly levitating off of the ground, you close your eyes and hug him close as he flies up the stairs to his bedroom. He chuckles at your reaction having not taken you flying before. He’ll have to do that later. 

Once you get to his bedroom, he gently puts you down on your feet and shuts the door. You look around the spacious room, noticing the sweet smell of roses and the cleanliness of it. The balcony on the left side of the room next to the bed is cracked, bringing in a soft summer breeze. “I can’t believe I’ve never seen your bedroom before.” You turn to him, noticing him sizing you up in a way that excites you. “You never had to.” 

You turn back to the king-sized bed, big enough for at least four people with a soft-looking red comforter, pillows, and… “Is that…a mirror?!” you gasp, looking up at the ceiling. There, in the square-shaped mirror hovering above the bed, you see yourself staring back. 

Keigo comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Yeah, I know; I’m a freak. Is this okay with you?” His concern for your comfort turns you on even more. You’ve never seen yourself have sex before, but the idea of looking up into the mirror and watching yourself take dick and tongue while seeing Keigo’s handsome face contort in pleasure makes your pussy spill all in your panties. 

You turn around in his arms and nod, too aroused to speak. He lazily smirks at you, his eyes hooded from arousal and the weed. “Then help me out of these clothes, will ya?” He groans, pulling on his pants. “I can’t take much more of this waiting game, babe.” 

You can’t either. You’re dying to see what he looks like without clothes. “You get naked first,” you suggest, a purr in your voice. He fulfills your wish and works his pants off while you peel off his shirt. At one point, Keigo almost falls trying to get his pants off, making you both giggle hysterically. 

Keigo gets very giggly and goofy when he’s high, something you know from many calls where he’s been high as a kite and you’re trying to sleep. Apparently, you get giggly too, unable to stop laughing. The clothes continue to come off until he’s just in his undies, exposing all kinds of savory, tanned muscle that you can’t help but touch, stroke, kiss, and lick. Keigo moans and tangles a hand in your hair as you do as you please, whispering, “Fuck, baby” and arousing “Mmm-hmms” as you do. 

When you pull away, you ogle at his burn scars for a moment, trailing your fingers over the rough patches of skin. You feel Keigo tense as you do and look up into his eyes, seeing insecurity. Quickly, you soften this by cupping his face in your hands. “I like you like this,” you whisper. “Gives you character.” 

Keigo cracks a smile and laughs, the sight adorable to you as your thumbs stroke his cheeks. “Your turn, darlin’.” Slowly, he begins to peel off your dress, slowly kissing you as he does. It’s one of those painfully slow, sloppy kisses with tongue that leave you weak in the knees and craving more of him. 

Once your dress and bra are off, Keigo sits you down on the bed and works on getting your pantyhose down. He watches you watch him pull the nylon stockings down your thighs, exposing your milky, brown skin and luscious thighs that he can’t help but stroke and grip as he leans over to kiss you. 

His lips trail down to your breasts, making you moan as his soft lips touch your hardened nipples. When he latches his mouth around one of them and gently sucks, you gasp and grasp his hair, arching your chest into his mouth. “You’re perfect,” he murmurs. “How the fuck could any man fuck up a date with you?” 

He turns his attention to your other nipple, giving it the same attention he just gave the one now tingling and coated in his spit. He toys with your tits, molding and squeezing them gently in your hands, loving how soft and heavy they are. Loud moans escape you as you tangle your fingers in his blonde locks, your pussy throbbing in your panties. “Keigo,” you mewl. “Baby, touch me.” 

He pulls away from your nipple to speak: I am, darlin’,” he chuckles. “Where else do you want me?” His golden eyes twinkle up at you with lust and mirth. Your fingers slide down to your clothed pussy, silently telling him just where you want him. You guide his hand there, but he stops. Instead, he keeps your hand there, staring at you. “No…show me.” 

You blink at him, confused. Gently, he pushes your legs open more to expose yourself to him. Then he sits up on his knees beside you and, his eyes still locked with yours, takes down his briefs to show you his very hard, very thick, very pretty cock. You gape at it, marveling at the vein trailing from the pink, bulbous head dripping in pre-cum to the base where his heavy balls hang. “Show me how you touch yourself and I’ll show you.” 

It feels like fire has crackled beneath your skin and in your veins as you do what he says. Slowly, still overcome by the weed, you pull your panties aside to reveal your glistening, wet cunt to him. “Shit,” he sighs. “You have such a pretty pussy.” 

You whimper pitifully at his nasty compliment, rubbing your clit in slow circles. You feel deliciously dirty and sexy under his gaze as he watches you, his hand stroking his dick in tandem with your slow pace. You pay attention to how his hand grips the thick base and strokes upward before going down, wanting to do the same. 

The more you stroke your pussy while he strokes his cock, soft moans and hums of pleasure leaving his pillowy-soft lips, the more you want to go further. Sitting here with your legs open and your fingers teasing your wet pussy while he gently pumps his cock in your face is the most erotic thing you’ve ever experienced. You need more of him. 

You tilt your head up and begin giving the head of his cock kitten licks and kisses, earning soft moans in response. Peering up at him under your lashes, you beg him with your eyes to give you what you want. “You want this?” he asks, pressing his cock against your cheek. You nod, parting your lips as he slides his cock over to gently rub it against your mouth. 

You open your mouth wider, allowing him to slide his cock in your mouth. “Fuck,” he groans, his gorgeous eyes rolling in the back of his head as his cock settles against your tongue. He lets you take the reins, only slowly thrusting in time with the slow bops of your head and sucks. You take your time blowing him, wanting to get to know his cock. He is thick and stretches out your throat, causing you to have to breathe through your nostrils and feel an ache in your jaw. 

But it feels so good. You love how he feels in your mouth. You love how he tastes. You love how warm he feels encased in your mouth and throat. You love the amount of spit that collects in your mouth and drips down your chin as you continue to blow him, using your free hand to play with his balls. “God,” he moans, his hand tangling in your hair. “You feel so good, V, what the fuck.” 

He feels good too. Your pussy gets wetter, your juices slipping down to your asscrack, as you continue to rub yourself in time with your slow deep throating. You absolutely love sucking his cock. It doesn’t take long for that knot in your core to begin tightening and you rub a little faster. “Kei,” you exhale around his cock. “I-I’m ‘bout to…I’m gonna—“ 

“No.” Keigo’s golden eyes flash at you, firm. “Stop.” You do as he says, slowing down before coming to a pause. “Sit on my face,” he bluntly says. You blink at him, stunned. “What?” you dumbly ask. 

“You heard me, baby: sit. On my. Face.” His hand slides down to cup yours over your pussy. “I want you to do what I’ve dreamed of you doin’ to me for years and that’s cumming in my mouth.” A cocky smirk pulls at his lips. “Don’t worry. I can handle you. If I die, I die happy.” 

You roll your eyes while he laughs, but you still think it over. 

You’ve never sat on a guy’s face before. It’s the first time you’ll be doing so. What if he’s uncomfortable? What if you can’t breathe and you accidentally smother him? What if you crush his neck with your full weight? Those pesky “what ifs” continue to haunt you, but at the sight of Keigo’s lustful eyes and warm smile, they begin to dissipate. 

So you agree. “Pat my thigh twice if it’s too much,” you say, earning a scoff in return. He then crawls up to the top of the bed, giving you a view of his great ass, and flops onto his back, head against the pillows. His smile widens and he motions you to come hither, his cock standing at attention for you. 

Suddenly feeling shy but not wanting to back out, you slowly crawl over to him and on top of him, your thighs straddling his chest. “Uh…so how do I do this?” you awkwardly ask. He laughs, his chest vibrating beneath you. “Well, first, you’ve gotta get close to my face, baby. Don’t worry; you won’t fall. Just sit on me.” 

Drawn to his smile and encouragement like a moth to a flame, you sit up on your knees and scoot closer until you’re hovering over his handsome face. His eyes peer up at you, coaxing you to come down. Slowly, you do and almost immediately, your jaw drops, and your eyes go wide at the immense pleasure you feel when his tongue hits your clit. 

“Oh, God!” you cry out, grabbing onto the headboard for dear life so you don’t spray all over your best friend’s face. In this position, he can reach everything, from his tongue caressing your clit and the folds of your cunt to his hands gripping and massaging your ass. He’s able to drink right from the source now, so he does so. He slurps and drinks like a thirsty man from your pussy, falling in love with how you taste. 

And you fall in love with his mouth. You can’t help but grind yourself against his nose as he slurps at your pussy, his tongue moving magically between your folds. “Fuck, Hawks, yes!” you sob, tossing your head back. “Fuck, please, keep going! Oh, don’t stop!” 

From between your soft, sweet, thick thighs, you can hear Keigo mumbling about how good you taste and whimpering as he continues to slurp your pussy. You’ve never heard him whimper before. It sounds so pathetic yet so sexy coming from him, the sounds vibrating against your pussy. “Fuck me,” he pleas from underneath you. “Fuck my face, baby.” 

So you do. You can’t help it. His mouth just feels too good! Your hips move on their own, grinding and rolling, causing your pussy to glide along his tongue and your clit to bump against his nose. His face becomes your surfboard and you’re trying desperately to catch that wave of pleasure that will surely cause a wipeout for you. Your moans and cries grow louder, bouncing off the bedroom walls, possibly alerting the neighbors of how good you’re getting fucked. 

Finally, that knot in your core reaches its limit and you feel yourself come undone in Keigo’s mouth. “I’m cumming!” you gasp, using one hand to grip Keigo’s hair. “Fuck, baby, I’m cumming!” Greedily, Keigo takes all that you give him, his tongue moving slowly yet deliciously along your wet slit as you cum in his mouth. 

He moans eagerly, taking everything you give him that floods into his mouth like the most delicious waterfall. Your moans are like music to him, making his cock strain and ache. He needs to bust at this point! When you begin to feel overstimulated, he finally stops and you roll off of him. 

You flop onto your back on the mattress, panting heavily and staring up at your body in the mirror. Your brown skin glistens in sweat and your hair is a tousled mess. Keigo gently strokes your side, his pants matching yours. “That was perfect,” he sighs. Tiredly, you nod. “You okay?” He worriedly asks. 

You’ve never felt better. But now you want more. So you turn to him and kiss him, tasting yourself off of his lips. “I want more,” you whisper. You don’t need to elaborate any more than that for him. “Lemme just get some stuff,” he murmurs, kissing your lips before moving to his nightstand drawer. 

There, he retrieves a bottle of edible lube and a water bottle for you. As you drink the water, you peek over his shoulder, spotting a pack of pre-rolled blunts that he no doubt smokes while he’s in here. Shockingly, you put a hand on his shoulder and nod down at the blunts. “Take one out,” you say. “I wanna try somethin’.” 

Keigo looks shocked since you seemed so freaked out about weed initially, but he does as you say and places the blunt and a lighter on an ashtray on the nightstand. You coax him to lean back, relishing how eager he seems as he lets you do as you want to him. You then straddle him, his hard cock pressing against your mound, and press your lips to his ear. 

“I wanna smoke while I ride you,” you whisper. “I want you to blow smoke in my mouth while you watch me take your cock.” 

Keigo shudders at your dirty suggestion, swearing under his breath. “Ya mean shotgunning?” He chuckles, raising an eyebrow at you. You flush bashfully, shrugging. You’ve only ever seen the act in movies, but the idea of it turns you on, especially when you’re taking cock. “I like you freaky like this,” he pants, gently nibbling your bottom lip. “Go ahead then, baby. Take your time.” 

So you do. You use the lube on him, stroking the cold substances up and down his shaft. He shivers at the chill until the lube warms up in your palm, your ministrations making him moan and whimper. “C’mon, mama,” he groans. “You’ll make me cum before I’m even inside you yet.” 

You add some lube around your entrance despite being as wet as an ocean. But you decide that you want to feel all of him, so you want to be as slick as possible. Taking hold of his shoulder with one hand while he securely handles your hips, you take his cock into your hand and rub it against your slit. He locks eyes with you, enjoying seeing the pleasure in them. “Fuck me,” he hisses through clenched teeth. “Take me, baby.” 

Slowly, you press the head against your entrance and gently slide down his shaft. You take his head first, the sensations you both feel causing you to gasp in unison. Then, inch by inch, you take more of his thick cock inside of your soft, curvy body. You slowly rock your hips and bounce up and down in his lap, taking him deeper and deeper with every passing second. “Mmm, fuck, Keigo,” you whine, gripping his hips as you bounce on his dick. “You feel so fucking good!” 

Keigo would tell you the same, but he’s too busy watching your pretty ass take his cock like a good girl. He loves the way your stomach jiggles; how soft your back rolls feel as he traces his fingers over them; how your tits bounce and your thighs ripple. You’re truly a specimen, especially when high. 

Speaking of high, he remembers the blunt he put on the nightstand and reaches for it, never once taking his eyes off of you. He grabs the blunt and his lighter, still watching you ride him. “You’re doin’ so well for me, baby,” he groans. “You feel so fuckin’ amazing. Keep bouncin’ on me, okay?” 

You nod, continuing to sink down onto his cock as you watch him light his blunt. He wraps his lips around one of the ends and puffs once, twice, three times as the other end burns red from the lighter. Keigo then tosses the lighter aside and inhales deeply. The smoke billows from his lips as he exhales, his golden eyes hooded and lazy. 

“Mind if I smoke?” he jokingly asks, smiling lazily at you. You’ve never seen him look sexier. “C’mere,” he murmurs. He puts the blunt to his mouth again and inhales, holding the smoke between his cheeks. 

You lean in and make a small O shape with your puckered lips. He leans in and exhales slowly, blowing the smoke in a steady stream into your mouth. The weed smoke combined with his dick inside of you is a different kind of high. Your eyes flutter shut for a moment before opening again, dazed and slightly red. 

Keigo lets out a sexy chuckle as he watches your eyes glaze over. “Nice, right?” You slowly nod, smiling deliriously at him. As you slowly grind your clit against his stomach, you lean in again, wanting more. “You want another one, huh?” he asks. “Keep fucking me just like that then.” 

You do as he says and brace yourself on his shoulders, letting him shotgun you again for an indirect kiss. It quickly turns into a direct, sloppy tongue kiss as he presses his mouth to yours. The scent of marijuana and his spicy cologne mingles in your nostrils, somehow making you wetter and more needy. “Put your hand on my throat,” you beg. “Please, Keigo!” A fire flashes behind Keigo’s eyes, excited by your sluttiness. 

His big, red wings suddenly move around you as if to shield you from everything but him as his hand shoots out to gently grasp our throat. “Fuck, babe, you’re so hot like this. Who knew all it took to turn you into a little slut was some weed?” 

He watches you between his golden slits of eyes, his lips pressed together in pleasure as he feels your slick pussy stroke him again and again, both of you softly moaning in the darkness of his bedroom. The bed creaks and bounces underneath you, your ass softly clapping against Keigo’s thighs. The lewd sounds of you fucking only makes you move a little faster and harder. “Fuck, Kei,” you whine. “I’m gonna…gonna cum soon.” 

Through gritted teeth, Keigo nods, his face flushed. “Shit, I know,” he hisses. “Me too. Need to..need to fuck you harder.” Without warning, he shoots forward, wraps an arm around you, and begins to lift his lips up to fuck you back. You gasp and toss your head back, eyes closed from the ecstasy and his thick cock stroking your insides. Your clit rubs against his pelvis with every thrust, getting you closer to your end. 

“No,” Keigo growls. “Open your eyes.” You do so and look down into his lust-blown eyes. “Look up,” he demands. “Look at yourself getting fucked, V. Look at you take that fucking dick.” 

You slowly look up into the mirror, watching the woman above you. Her tits jiggle and bounce like ripe, hanging fruit; her soft, plump body ripples as the handsome man below her fucks up into her, bringing her closer to the brink of orgasm. Her face is contorted in pleasure, her brows furrowed and lips parted as moans and gasps leave her lips. She is beautiful. And she is you. 

Seeing you look so hot getting fucked like that…God, it’s too much. You dig your nails into Keigo’s shoulders and press your face into his neck, wailing from the pleasure. “Oh, fuck!” you cry out. “Fuck yes, baby, I’m gonna…gonna…oh, fuck!” Your orgasm sneaks up on you like the killer in a slasher flick and tears you up from the inside. You come apart at the seams on Keigo’s cock, clenching and throbbing around him as you cum. 

Keigo is right behind you, slamming his hips sloppily into yours as he tries to chase that high, even babbling as he does. “That’s it, baby, cum on my cock,” he moans. “Fuck, fuck, fuck yeah, I’m gonna cum too!” 

To get him there quicker, you begin to gently stroke his wings, starting from the wing bone to the tips of his feathers, earning a soft white and a shudder in response to your ministrations. 

After a few more thrusts and a ruffle of his wings as you slide your fingers against them, Keigo’s muscles clench and he holds onto you for dear life. Ah!” he gasps as he explodes deep inside of you. You weakly moan as you feel his warm cum flood your insides, making your pussy and thighs feel wet and sticky. “Take it all,” he exhales against your chest. “Take all of me, V. It’s yours.” 

You whimper and shudder against him, overcome by your and his orgasms. The aftershocks begin to set in, causing you to hold onto him as the aftermath of the sex begins to fade. After it does, you feel exhausted. Silence swells between you both despite Keigo still being inside of you. With a soft moan, he carefully slides out of you and flops onto his back. 

You roll off of him and lay beside him onto the cool comforter. For a while, you just lay side by side, never saying a word. Your heavy pants turn into one, mingling with the sound of cars outside. In the silence, reality sets in: you just had sex with your best friend. 

Keigo clears his throat, breaking the silence. “Uh, that was…” He trails off, trying to find the right word, but not being able to. 

“Yeah,” you agree. It was fucking amazing. But also fucking strange. 

Slowly, the winged blonde turns toward you, one wing moving to cover you like a feathery, crimson blanket. “Do you wanna talk about what just happened?” he asks. “‘Cause I think we should.” You don’t say anything because what can you possibly say to this? 

Keigo props his cheek up on his fist, looking down at you in worry. “Do you regret it?” The moonlight illuminates the fear in his eyes. He’s scared you’ll say yes. 

“No,” you immediately reply and you see relief set in. “But I don’t know where we go from here. I mean, we pretty much just ruined our friendship doin’ this.” You let out an awkward chuckle though your stomach flips at the idea. 

“No shit,” he chuckles. “But if I can be honest with you, I’d rather us have done that than not. I just hope you know that everything I said to you is true: you are an amazing woman, V, and you do deserve an amazing partner like…” He stops immediately from saying whatever he is going to say. 

“Like who? You?” you joke. You look up at him and snort at your own joke…but he isn’t laughing. He looks conflicted like he’s trying hard to hide what he wants to say. Your heart leaps into your throat and your stomach does a gastric flip. “Hawks?” you quietly ask. 

Finally, he speaks. “I’ve had these…feelings for you for some time now,” he confesses. “I don’t know when they started, but they just appeared one day. I had always adored you as my friend, but once I realized how much I wanted that to change, I started looking at you as the woman I wanted in my life and adored you even more.” 

Under his soft yet intense gaze, you feel like you’re on fire. You lay there next to him, completely frozen, afraid of ruining this moment. “I don’t wanna spring this on you,” he continues, “and if you’re uncomfortable, you can always leave. But, V, all I want is for you to be happy and I’d be lying to your face if I said I didn’t want you to be happy with me.” 

He looks nervous, playing with a silver ring on his ringed fingers. You take his hands into yours, finally feeling brave enough to state the obvious: “I feel the same,” you whisper. 

Hope appears in his widened eyes, his lips twitching up into a smile. “So?” he coaxes. “Are you down for this?” 

It now occurs to you that all of this time you’ve been searching for the one on dating apps and in the streets when all you had to do was look right beside you at the one person you would’ve never suspected. Or expected. And it could be possible that things won’t work out, but it’s also possible that Hawks could be the best thing that ever happened to you. And you want to find out. You don’t care what happens. You just wanna enjoy this with him. “Okay,” you giggle. “Yeah…let’s give this a shot.” 

With a happy smile, Keigo leans in and presses a joyful kiss to your lips, cupping your face in his warm, calloused hands. You giggle, filled with giddiness. But then that happiness is stumped when your stomach rudely begins growling. 

“That’s the weed talking,” he laughs, raising his brows humorously at you. “How about we end tonight with that takeout, some more cuddling, and a round two, hm?” He takes your hands and presses two kisses to your knuckles that travel down to your pussy, making it throb impatiently. 

“That sounds perfect to me,” you purr before leaning up to kiss him again. 

You never do make it to round two. The weed fights back after you chomp down on fried chicken and Hawks’ snack stash in his kitchen, causing you both to drift off to sleep snuggled against each other. But you don’t mind because being snuggled up underneath him in his bed, feeling the softness of his wings wrapped around you, is the most intimate thing you could ask for. 

And the next morning, in the golden light of dawn pouring in through the balcony to air out the smell of weed, he makes up for it by fucking you senseless into the afternoon. 

Yeah. You definitely made the right decision. 

THE END.

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 1)

pairing: satosugu/reader

word count: 8k (oops)

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, suguru has depression, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant sex, vaginal sex, anal play, you and satoru are gonna rizz suguru with the 'tism, uhhh let me know if there's something else i need to add!

comments: once again it's just pure self-indulgence! we need more autistic reader inserts! and more autistic satoru! this is also posted on Ao3!

No.

Yes?

As you tap the pencil against the table irritably, you squint down at the sketchbook. You twirl the pencil around and move to erase the bottom portion of the sketch but hesitate. Did it…? Ugh! Why are you like this? You’d been so keen to soak in all the distinct details to remember those that you completely missed the basic. Did this damned cursed spirit have legs or not? The rest of it had been so floaty. Surely, it wouldn’t have any use of them. Right? Then again, the forms of curses sometimes make no sense at all.

Hmm, alright. There had been a ripped, worn cloak. Red and blue ribbons that could easily be mistaken as toilet paper to a panicked non-sorcerer. Unkempt hair and bald spots. There’d been a mask, but the curse sensed no hostility or prey, so it didn’t reveal what was underneath. You debated on calling a sorcerer in to lure the spirit in to a fight, but you don’t have the energy to deal with strangers and anyone close would snitch.

You tap on the screen of your phone, flicking away the text that you’ve already read. There is someone that could collect that curse for you…but then he would wonder why you know about the exact location in the first place. No, no. Best not to tempt fate like that. Besides, if you have to sit here and debate whether it had legs or not, isn’t that some indication that there had to be something there in the first place?

About twenty minutes later, the front door opens, and you’re finishing sharpening the colored pencils. A shame that you can’t color this particular sketch, you think as you flip back to the front, but your much less non-threatening sketch of Nue needs to be colored, anyway.

“I’m home!”

There’s a noticeable crinkle of bags that gets closer and closer to the kitchen. Many of them. Perhaps it’s your humble upbringing or it’s inherently you, but this inclination of his for spoiling you will never not fluster you. These days, you can let it slide a little more since it’s not only you that’s being spoiled anymore. Or maybe, after nearly a decade of knowing him, you understand that this is a way he communicates.

When you look over your shoulder, you can’t help but smile at the sight of him in the doorway. Sure enough, he’s loaded up with bags. Some are plastic ones from the konbini, some a little nicer and prettier, and some are outright designer bags. Those ones, you note, are not for you.

“Welcome home, Satoru.”

Satoru hesitates before he tosses all the bags away from his arms and throws himself at you with what can only be described as a manly squeal. “Waa! I have the cutest wife!” You’re prepared for a full body attack, but Satoru only plasters himself across your back, and wraps you up in his arms. He’s unbearably gentle about it. “How are my babies, hmm?” His hands flick away some pencil shavings before they rest on your belly. “Ugh, I could kill those geezers for keeping me away for so long. You’re so big now!”

You tilt your head back, deadpanning his upside-down face. “You’re so lucky that you’re married to me. I think other women would think you’re calling them fat.”

“Would they?”

“It’s like you don’t pay attention to people at all.”

“I only pay attention to the ones I like!”

You pat the tops of his hands. “I know, darling. I know.” It’s then that you notice a little something. You turn around in his arms so you can study him fully, specifically his neck. “Speaking of people you like…” Curiously, you reach up to touch the bruise just barely peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. Satoru tenses at your touch, smile faltering, but relaxes when you only ask, “Why on earth did they call for Suguru?”

“Eh. You know the protocol when there’s more than two Semi-Grade 1’s.”

Your eyes light up. “There was more than one?! How many?! What did they look like?!”

“Why yes, dearest, we’re both fine. Thank you so much for asking, dearest. Oh, no, dearest, don’t be so concerned since you’re oozing with it right now.”

You wave away the sarcasm. “Shut up. Did one of the spirits have a technique to switch bodies? Because you don’t know how much you sounded like Suguru just then.” Satoru snorts. You won’t let him interrupt your very important research. Vibrating with excitement, you spin around to snatch your sketchbook from the counter and start flipping for the next open blank page. You don’t have many pages left, though. You need a new sketchbook. “You got sweets, right? Describe the spirits while we taste-test them!”

From over your shoulder, a hand slaps down on your sketchbook so hard that you squeak. “Darling,” comes Satoru’s sing-song voice. Shit. “My most beloved Sketch,” he goes on to croon. He’s pressing you against the counter to block your escape. You wonder if you wiggle your ass if that could distract him. If he’s still got hickeys, it hasn’t been too long since Suguru fucked him, but Satoru seems like he’s having a good day, and his libido is sky-high on those days. “Mother of my child,” he stresses. “What is that?”

Oh, you’re definitely sweating now. You could try to lie…or you could play dirty. Yes. That one. You pull on the perpetuate restlessness that’s set in since you were benched and that puts tears in your eyes. Once again, you’re turning around in his arms and looking up at him.

“It was Aka Manto, Satoru!” You fist your hands in the front of his jacket. “Aka Manto!” The way that he tilts his head back and slaps a hand over his eyes means you’re successfully hitting him below the belt. “How could I resist? That would be like putting Agumon, here and in the flesh, right in front of you and expecting you to walk away!”

“Agumon?” Abort! You shouldn’t have invoked his special interest! “Okay, if I was you and I was pregnant and Greymon was the one in front of me then you’d have a case! You risked your life for an Agumon-level spirit? I don’t know whether to be mad or disappointed! You could’ve totally resisted that!”

“I couldn’t! I heard those teenagers gossiping and heard them talk about the red and blue toilet paper and all the possibilities started running through my head!” You blindly slap a hand against the sketch. “This is a good thing! I can keep myself busy with researching! I have to figure out if it’s a true vengeful cursed spirit or an imaginary vengeful cursed spirit before I register it!”

“Register?” Oh. Oh, no. You’ve done it now. “Register implies Special Grade.” You know you’re in serious trouble when he slips his blindfold off. Damn your empathy! You should’ve made sure every single light in the apartment was on before he got home! Satoru is one of the few people that you can stand eye contact with, but not so much now. You don’t want to make him angrier, though, so you look at his forehead instead to give the appearance of eye contact. “I know my super intelligent wife wouldn’t put herself alone with a Special Grade.”

“Never,” you chirp nervously. “On a totally unrelated note, did you know that those geezers are super pissed right now? They had to fork over a ridiculous amount of money to reward Mei-Mei for capturing a Special Grade. Heh…heh…”

Then, Satoru…disappears.

The sudden loss of his support makes you stumble, and you have to catch yourself on the counter. The gust of wind from his warping sends colored pencils rolling off the counter. Just as you’re crouching down to pick them up, Satoru is back, and he’s not alone.

“Oh. Hello, Sugu—”

“Talk some sense into your stupid best friend!” Satoru demands of a flustered Suguru who is trying to recover from being warped so suddenly. To everyone but Satoru, warping is jarring.

“Isn’t that you?” Both you and Suguru intone at the same time.

Satoru harrumphs before he’s stomping off to pick up all his shopping bags and leave the kitchen. Knowing him, he’s going to sit on the couch and aggressively eat his haul until he makes himself sick. This temper tantrum is starting to get under your skin, especially when you think about him getting crumbs on the couch. Just the thought of sitting on the couch and getting bombarded with them makes you want to claw at your skin already.

Suguru touches your shoulder in warning before he slips it under your arm. “Let me do that,” he insists before he helps you up on your feet. Then, he crouches down to gather up all your colored pencils, examining the ends on your behalf. He separates out the ones that will need to be re-sharpened. “What have you done now, Squid?”

“Sketch, Squid—can you two come up with cooler, more original nicknames for me?”

“Those are original,” he replies with a smirk. “You have no one to blame but yourself. It’s not my fault that you were torturing a squid spirit when we first met.”

“I was six, Suguru.”

“And have you changed at all since then, Squid?” You refuse to answer that. Suguru, though, has known you longer than anyone else. “That’s what he’s angry about, right? That’s the only reason he drags me into your fights. As if I’ve ever been able to stop you from doing what you want.”

“I have a cursed technique!” You announce loudly enough that Satoru can hear you from the couch. “Have you both forgotten that the whole point of my technique is to not be seen by spirits? I can pacify them! If I actually thought that I was in danger, I wouldn’t have gone near it!”

Suguru sighs softly before he raises up to his feet. “You know that you have a tendency for tunnel vision when you’re excited.”

“It was Aka Manto,” you whine.

“Aka Manto is Special Grade?” His nose crinkles in disgust. “Ew.”

“Just based off a preliminary search, the legend has been around since the thirties, at least. It could be longer. So, it’s had time to establish itself and accumulate power. I’m surprised it’s gone so long without being exorcised, but a spirit that haunts bathrooms is probably something that sorcerers think are beneath them—”

Suguru interrupts your hypothesizing with a finger to your lips. “This isn’t only about you anymore, okay?”

“No one cared about this before I got knocked up,” you snap.

“They did,” he sings. “You don’t want to admit it because you’re trying to be manipulative right now.” The accusation has your jaw dropping. “You’ve always been a non-combatant sorcerer, Squid. Just like Shoko, hmm? When you’re on a mission, you’re paired with an active sorcerer. Does that sound like no one caring?”

You try to dismiss the point with a snide, “They only care about me like a prized scientist, same as Shoko. I’ve dedicated all this time to studying and researching cursed spirits out in the field. I can categorize them and seal them better than any other sorcerer can.”

“The higher-ups only see you as that, but Satoru and I don’t. There are others, of course. Most of the auxiliary managers adore you. More importantly, there’s Nanamin, Shoko, Nanako, Mimiko, Tsumiki, Megumi—”

As quickly as your temper flared up, all that wind leaves your sails. “Alright, Suguru, I get it. You don’t have to keep adding salt to the wound.” You shuffle past him to plop down in a chair. “It’s just…hard.” And since you know that Satoru can and is listening to this conversation, you add, “Imagine Satoru being completely cut off from anything Digimon for nine months. This is my Digimon. Cursed spirits are my thing, y’know?”

Suguru follows after you, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck to pull you forward. You bury your face against his belly, practically purring when he starts lightly scratching his nails against your scalp. “I’m really proud of how well you’ve been dealing with all these changes. I know that is even harder. The unexpected pregnancy, the…what do Americans call it? Shotgun wedding?”

“Changes are easier when I have you and Satoru,” you mumble against his shirt.

Suguru’s hands momentarily still. “You make things so hard on me, Squid.”

“I know.”

“It’s not for the reason you think.”

“What’s the reason, then?”

“Nothing that I can talk about.” Your brows furrowing, you tilt your head up, digging your chin against his stomach hard. With how toned it is, you doubt that he can feel it. Cryptic asshole. “Why don’t I start collecting curses again, hmm? It’s safer when they’re under my control.”

“No.”

Suguru rolls his eyes. “Who is treating who like glass now? Don’t you know? I’m Special Grade sorcerer, Geto Suguru. I can handle swallowing some cursed spirits—”

“I said no.”

As if you would add to his burden like that. As if you’d add fuel to the fire. Suguru doesn’t think that you and Satoru can’t see he’s in an episode right now. If he hadn’t been forcefully called out on that mission, you aren’t sure how long he’d go on with locking himself away from the outside world. The girls help bring a piece of the world to him, keep him afloat when he blocks you and Satoru out, and give you updates on how he’s doing.

It’s a slippery slope, the curse consumption. It’s like rot. Too much and it can fester inside him. It could be something else like the loss of a student. Sometimes, it’s reminders of that fateful day during second year of high school or that night that he found the twins.

Whatever the trigger, his episode always starts the same. Sleepless nights that leave him sleeping throughout the day to make up for it, though nothing ever helps ease that overwhelming exhaustion. Teaching drains what little energy he has. Parenting doesn’t help, either, because he always tries to put on the best face that he can in front of the girls despite how much he’s fraying at the edges.

So, a normally punctual Suguru begins to be late to work. The circles under his eyes grow darker. His lack of attention can almost match Satoru’s. Conversations are forgotten, plans are dropped. It builds. It’s when he starts missing meals, not only for himself but also for the girls, that his self-loathing gets bad. They know how to cook for themselves, but you always tell them to call you or Satoru immediately if they have to do it more often in a week than not.

“I’ll deal with it,” you insist. “I need a new hobby, anyway.” You lock your arms around him, squeezing tight. “I’ve had to watch a bunch of documentaries to help me sleep. Sharks are really cool.”

“We’ll take the kids to an aquarium, then,” he whispers.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Your eyes meet his. “Do you mean that? Are you done ignoring me and Satoru?”

Suguru closes his eyes, sighing softly. Then, he smiles, taking being called out in stride. And, by stride, you mean simply avoiding the conversation. “Shall I bring the girls to stay the night with us?”

“Please.”

“You’re so spoiled, Squid. You’re no better than Satoru.”

“You’d be spoiled, too, if you let us.”

“I’m already spoiled enough as it is.”

“How?”

Suguru gives you one last scritch on the scalp before he steps away and calls out, “Satoru, would you like to take me home so I can pick up the girls? Do you think we should stop for Megumi and Tsumiki?”

Pregnant lady privileges give you access to the shower first.

Throughout said shower, you can hear the raised voices of competitive children and Satoru as they all have a tournament on the old 64. It’s a welcome distraction since you got so scatterbrained that you forgot to bring clothes with you and have to sneak back to your bedroom.

There’s a hoodie on your side of the bed, one that you’ve never seen. Your expression softens at the sight of it. The bag off to the side tells you that this is something Satoru bought for you, and this is also his way of reaching out after your earlier argument. It’s both an olive branch and a warning that he wants to talk, that he’ll do it in good faith, and that if his natural bluntness comes off as rude or out of pocket then it’s unintentional.

You shove your face against the hoodie after you pick it up, rubbing your face against it like a cat because the material is so soft and feels so good. It’s thin, too, so it won’t leave you sweltering since your temperature is running hotter these days. It’s two-sizes too big, so even Satoru can fit in it. You wonder how far his sweetness goes—if he got it so big so that he could wear it because he likes how it feels or because he’ll leave his scent on it for you? It’s probably both.

“Kitten.”

Keeping the hoodie pressed against your cheek, you turn your head to pout at Suguru. “You’re meaner today than usual.”

“Giving you cute nicknames is mean?”

“How is squid cute? Octopi are the cutest cephalopod.”

Suguru merely hums and leaves it at that. You don’t miss the click of the lock behind him before he saunters over to stand beside you. “Earlier, you asked me how I’m spoiled,” he starts as he drops down on the edge of the mattress. “I had an answer, but it wasn’t an appropriate time to give it.” He glances up at you from under those thick lashes, with those violet eyes, acting so damn coy. “Do you want to hear it now?”

“Does it have to do with all those hickeys on Satoru’s neck?”

“It does.” You slide between his legs spread so wide that it’s obscene. The gesture, along with reaching out to grip his shoulders, is enough to tell him that you’re okay being touched today. You think you are, but then his hands brush along the side of your bump as he’s going to place his hands on your hips, and you flinch away from the touch with your whole body. “Shit. Sorry. I read you wrong—”

You check yourself. It wasn’t so much the touch, you think, as it was the reminder that Suguru has been…avoiding you a lot more than he does Satoru. “No. Um…” You rein it back in and stop touching him. “I want to make sure I’m not reading you wrong. We haven’t…y’know…since before I got knocked up. Well, before I started showing, anyway.” You wave a hand over your bump. “If this bothers you, I can go get Satoru.”

Suguru breathes out your name. “I don’t want him right now. I want you.” His gaze darts away, looking guilty. “I’m sorry. After you made the announcement, I didn’t want to cause you more stress.”

“When have I ever held back from telling you that I’m not up to it on any given day? Isn’t that how this whole thing between us three started? For the days when my libido and Satoru’s can’t synch up?”

Jujutsu sorcerers like to fuck.

When you live your life in such a bleak and deadly world, you cope however you can. It’s mostly through smoking, drinking, and sex. You, Satoru, and Suguru are no exception. Satoru may be the worst, though, because he never really has the chance to go all-out in the field. Most of the time, if he’s not overstimulated or mentally drained, then he’s buzzing with physical and mental energy. So, when he is home, he fucks like a stallion.

In your role, you work with people a lot. You may meet with the higher-ups more often than Satoru does to report on research or answer their questions after an incident. The more stressed you are, the easier it is for you to get overstimulated, and you don’t like to be touched when the world is screaming at you from every angle.

You don’t even remember how the idea came up…

Oh, it might’ve been you and Satoru making dirty jokes about sore wrists. After you and Satoru complained to Suguru about how old touching yourselves was getting, he offered himself up. It’s a win-win, he reasoned, because he’d been on too long a dry spell that he wanted to break, and you and Satoru could get your needs taken care of without one or the other feeling guilty or having your hands or fingers falling off.

Greedy you, greedy Satoru…how could you both turn that down?

“You’ve had a lot more to worry about the past five months than sucking my dick.”

“You ever think that sucking your dick makes me worry less?”

Suguru laughs and holds out a hand. “Come here, Squid.”

That’s how you end up where you are now. Face down, ass up, pillow tucked under your tummy, and Suguru doing his best to be quiet as he pounds into you in case any little ears are up against the door. You’re biting down on your chew necklace because it’ll be a cold day in hell before you willingly bite down on cloth for an extended amount of time. You don’t know how Satoru does it, but he doesn’t know how you can handle rolling around in wet sheets. If he forgives you now, he’ll be pissed again when he hears you dropped your towel and jumped Suguru’s bones.

The second trimester saw you getting hit by the horny truck. It hasn’t even been that long since he got his cock inside you, but you’re a fucking livewire these days. You exist on a low burn and you’re always on a hair trigger. Your nipples are off limits because the first trimester tenderness still has a chokehold on you, so he’s keeping his hands busy by spreading your cheeks and watching the slide of his cock in and out of you.

Suguru, who can get a little mean in bed, thumbs at your asshole, and that sends you over the edge. You catch yourself before you give the game away to the damn kids, throwing your head forward to bury your face and your moans in the mattress. Your entire body trembles and Suguru’s hips slow to a crawl, letting you come down without sensitivity, groaning quietly as your pussy tries to milk him for all he’s worth.

He hunches over, back bowed over yours, leaning until his breath is hot on the shell of your ear. “This is how you spoil me,” he husks as he reaches down between your legs. You hiss when his fingers quickly glide over your clit. “You and this perfect little pussy.” You roll your face against the sheets, moaning because if he doesn’t shut the fuck up, you might come again. “I can’t believe you thought that I wouldn’t want this.”

Panting, you turn your head to the side and spit out the gem-shaped silicone in your mouth. “Sorry for thinking that pregnancy doesn’t look good on me.”

“You should be sorry. It looks beautiful on you.” Your hand flies back, digging fingers into his ass, trying to keep him inside you when he slides out. You whine at the loss. “Impatient,” he chides. “On your back. Let me see that gorgeous body.” Heat crawls up the back of your neck, the tips of your ears.

“Stop it. You know I’m bad with sarcasm,” you grumble. You do as he says, though, and roll over. The pillow, previously under your stomach, is now in the small of your back and you sigh in relief. Your back has been aching something fierce lately. “Ugh, Suguru!” You cover your face with your hands because he’s staring at you. Gaze sweeping over your body, fingers following along with his eyes. “Stop looking! Leave that for Satoru.”

“It’s not sarcasm. Pregnancy looks so good on you.” You squeak when he grabs your hips, roughly hauling you down to settle the backs of your thighs over his. You’re not looking, but he slaps his cock against your pussy, making you squirm. You do dig a heel against his ass, trying to hurry him up. “It may have been an accident, but knowing that Satoru came inside you…” He slides back inside your pussy. “Knowing that it stuck…” His hands cup the sides of your bump. “You have no idea how jealous of him I’ve been.”

Your hands fall away from your face. “Okay.” Shyly, you reach down and lace your fingers through his. “Next time, I’ll let you accidentally knock me up.”

“It’s not an accident if it’s planned.”

The two of you snort and grin and you just start giggling. “You’re such an asshole.” You throw your arms over your eyes. You think you might cry. You’re a whirlwind of emotions—horniness and happiness with a shit-ton of longing. “Can you just let me say I wanna have your baby?”

I love you.

Would Satoru be mad if you said it now?

“A married woman saying things like that?” Finally, Suguru starts moving. It helps distract you from the words stuck in your teeth. “How lewd.”

“Pregnant Married Woman Begs for New Daddy—how’s that for a JAV title?” Suguru can’t hide the hitch in his breath, the way his fingers dig harder into your skin, how his thrusts pick up speed. You lift your arm up, peering at him, grinning in sadistic delight when you see how red his cheeks are. “Do you wanna be our daddy, Suguru?”

Suguru can talk all that sexy shit but can’t take it? Because he reaches down to start rubbing slow circles around your clit, knowing that letting your orgasm build slowly makes your brain leak out through your ears. Sure enough, the heat starts in your toes, and pleasure rushes through your veins.

“You first,” you breathe out as you clutch at his wrist. “Want that come inside me when I go off.”

“Whatever you want, darling.”

You’re not sure how long you doze after you and Suguru were done. He’d wiped you down because you hate your skin to be sticky, same as Satoru. Which, speaking of, he’s in bed with you when you wake up—propped back against the headboard, shirtless, and on the 3DS. You shuffle closer, putting your head in his lap, and listen to the familiar sounds of Ocarina of Time 3D.

“I can’t wait until the new Animal Crossing in November,” Satoru gripes.

“Just play Pokémon. Did you know that there’s this challenge that’s spreading around on the internet? It’s called Nuzlocke and it’s supposed to be super hard. It’s up your alley.” His thumbs briefly pause. You know the challenge entices him. “You’re not betraying Digimon by playing Pokémon, I promise.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He snaps the 3DS shut, not even bothering to save his progress.

You lean forward to kiss his tummy, right over the scar that runs from his neck down along the upper half of his body. The day that he got this scar…it was and still is such a stark reminder that, no matter what, all sorcerers share the same fate. Just because Aka Manto didn’t notice you doesn’t mean another spirit won’t. “I’m sorry, Satoru,” you apologize quietly. “I really did fuck up with this. It’s so easy for me to forget that these aren’t pets or even comparable with wild animals.”

“I get it, I guess. Well, not really. It’s like me cutting myself off from sweets and I don’t think I can do that. So, I don’t get what it feels like when you can’t be around your thing. Ugh. Why did we ever get in a relationship? Talking about feelings sucks.”

You giggle. “You’re doing well.”

“You’re not being sarcastic, are you? Because I’m kinda freaking out. I’ve got four months to get my shit together.” He digs the heels of his palms against his eyes, groaning with frustration. “Yeah, sure, I can handle teenagers or those kids out there.” He means the twins and Fushiguro siblings. “They’re not babies, though. What the fuck do I do with a baby? And, let’s be honest, those kids are all pretty fucked up already, but the thought that I can fuck a kid up?”

You raise up on an elbow, watching him. “Satoru…”

“Oh, Christ. I’m having an existential crisis, Sketch. I’m a walking cliché right now. What if I become my old man? Are you gonna end up resenting me, too? Holy fuck, what if we turn into my parents? I have a horrible personality. I’m so selfish and conceited. I’m going to hurt this kid. I—”

Oh, okay. Has Satoru ever had a panic attack? Because you think he might be having one. “Satoru,” you call out as you press your hand against his chest. Under the skin, his heart is beating like crazy. “Hey, Satoru, I need you to look at me.” He does as you ask, sparkling blue eyes a little crazed with his dread. “Why isn’t Infinity on?”

“Huh?” He blinks out of the haze and looks down at where you’re touching him. “What? Why the fuck would Infinity be on right now? You’re touching me.”

“Right, but you’re scared right now. Infinity is your defense mechanism. Sometimes, you don’t even realize it’s flaring up when you get overstimulated. It usually blocks everything out.”

He squints at you before he repeats, “You’re touching me.”

“If you were selfish, your body wouldn’t care that it’s me, right? You’re not even thinking about it consciously. Keeping me safe, even from yourself, is instinct.”

“You might be reaching…”

“You could’ve let the Zen’in clan take Megumi,” you point out. “You took in the children of the only man that’s ever gotten close to killing you.” You lift up from the mattress completely, yanking the sheets up and over your bare shoulders. “You actively participate in the system you hate because you want to rework it from the inside-out, top-down. You want to protect kids, so why wouldn’t that extend to your own?”

“Fine, I won’t actively hurt the kid and I’ll make sure they don’t get physically hurt. That doesn’t mean—”

The pieces start to add up. Suguru isn’t the only one that’s been spiraling. “Were you doing retail therapy? Is that what all the bags are for? Don’t answer. I already know.” No wonder he’s been so snippy lately. “We got shoved into this. I’m doing okay right now, but I’ve lost my shit sometimes when you’re not around. I’m scared shitless that I’ll end up exactly like my parents, too. But…if I keep thinking about it then I will end up like them. I’ll get so lost in my head that I ignore this baby.”

“You’ve lost your shit and didn’t tell me?”

“That’s what you’re focused on?” You shake your head, chuckling in disbelief. “Yes, I did. Because I’m pretty sure that having a mental breakdown is a rite of passage for soon-to-be parents.” Lacing your fingers through his, you give a reassuring squeeze. “I know how terrifying this is. This might not help calm you down because you’re a little bit of a control freak, but you need to get it in your head now that we’re never gonna have all the answers and we’re gonna fuck up. All we can do is apologize and try to do better.”

Satoru’s cheeks puff out and his bottom lip juts out. “I hate unknowns.”

“Like I said—control freak.”

“Shut up.” He tugs at your hand. “Hey, come here. Sit in my lap.”

“Yes, yes.”

Satoru holds out his other hand, letting you use them as support while you climb up to straddle his waist. He tilts his head forward, shoving his face right between your breasts, and sighs happily like the little pervert he is. You only encourage the behavior with your quiet giggling.

“Sorry for being a bitch earlier,” comes a muffled apology.

“You weren’t being a bitch. Dare I say…you were actually mature about it.” He digs his fingers into your ticklish side, making you squawk. “I’m being serious! You knew you didn’t have a level head and couldn’t handle it sensitively, so you went to get help.”

“Ha!” He leans away from your chest. “You’re definitely overthinking my actions. It boiled down to me not wanting to deal with you anymore.” Yeah, right. What a fucking liar. “And what good did it do me to get that asshole? He leaves me to babysit his kids while he fucks my pregnant wife.”

“Joke is on you because you’re into sloppy seconds.”

“Heh! Fuck yeah, I am.” He sighs sadly. “I wanna fuck you so bad right now. I wish I had the mental energy to get it up.”

“We’ll cuddle tonight and have really gross, lovey-dovey morning sex. Sound good?”

Satoru bats those big, stupidly blue eyes at you. This drama queen somehow has tears in them and his bottom lip wobbles as he asks, “Can I suck on your nipples? I promise I’ll be gentle.”

“We’ll see.” You run your fingers through his hair. “You did really good today. If they’re too sore, I’ll make you chocolate chip waffles, okay?”

“Best wife ever.”

***

In the morning, you spoil Satoru.

You’re in his lap, on his dick, and his mouth never leaves your tits.

It hurt when he first put his mouth on them, you’ll admit, but it’s not enough pain to overload your brain. It’s that addicting pain, like how good it feels to stretch out a sore muscle. If it was a bad day, you wouldn’t want to deal with the confliction. That’s how you know today will be a good one.

And why wouldn’t it be a good day?

It’s a full house. All your favorite people are here. Suguru is curled up in the guest bed, Nanako and Tsumiki on either side of him while Mimiko is sprawled out and drooling on his chest. Megumi is out on the couch. You only hope that you can convince them all to stay longer. It’s the weekend, so no school. You’re not above bribery.

You and Satoru slowly rock. His huge hands are on your ass, guiding your movements, doing more work than you are at lifting yourself up and down on his cock. The grip he’s got on your ass gets rougher as he gets closer to coming, so it spreads your cheeks apart. Gentle as it is, sweat still lines your skin and his, so he has to sometimes readjust his grip. That’s all to say that his fingers are getting close to your asshole. Just the memory has you quickening the pace.

“Want him here so bad,” you whine.

Satoru knows immediately who you mean. Talking about Suguru in bed isn’t new for you and Satoru. “Fuck, I know. He blew my back out yesterday. Hey, wanna hear a story?” He reaches down, thumbing at your clit. “Didn’t really jerk off until I got in high school. First fantasy? Fucking your sweet little pussy while he’s plowing my ass.” You bury your face in the crook of his neck, biting down to muffle your moan. “Yeah? You want that? One day, baby. Not now because no way I can be gentle when that’s going down.”

You pant against his neck. “We have to tell him.”

“We will,” Satoru swears. Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, and he swears. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Yeah, we’re gonna fucking tell him. We’re putting a ring on that bastard’s finger.” You nod along deliriously, chanting your agreement. “We’ll romance the fuck out of him. I swear that this kid is gonna have three parents—aw, fuck, ‘m coming!”

Satoru licks his come out of you before it has the chance to drip down your thighs. After he’s done, he flops behind you, and winds his spindly limbs with yours. You didn’t even realize how early it is until Satoru’s phone flashes in the pre-dawn light and flaunts the time. There’s a little time before you two have to roll out of bed. Chocolate chip waffles with strawberries and whipped cream actually sound really good right now. You’ll make Satoru help so that the food will be done when everyone wakes up.

“Were you serious about it?” You hum in question. Satoru goes on to elaborate. “Were you coming or were you agreeing with me about telling him before the baby is born?”

“Both,” you answer bluntly. He snorts in amusement. “I’ve been thinking about how we can confess.”

“No way! Me, too!”

“I don’t even want to imagine what your idea is.”

“Rude,” he bites your shoulder in rebuke. “We can take him on a date night. Serenade him with some fine dining. Finish the night in a nice hotel—”

“I will never do fine dining ever again, Gojo Satoru.” Just the memory of the plates rotating in and out of the table with so many varying, awful textures…you gag. Your teeth start to hurt. “I don’t know how you’ve put up with that for your entire life.”

Satoru laughs. “They bribed me with desserts to put up with it.”

What a stark reminder that you and Satoru are two sides of the same coin. Whether it’s your parents telling you to starve for the night if you refused to eat something because you hated the texture or his parents bribing him to force himself to grin and bear it, it’s all the same. Even after you were diagnosed, your parents still forced you to eat whatever they made because they refused to make two dinners. You had to learn to not let the discomfort and disgust show because they’d make the same thing again, over and over until you liked it.

Filled with a sudden and fierce protectiveness, you roll over and face Satoru head on. He raises a brow at your sudden change of mood. “Infinity doesn’t recognize me as a threat,” you remind him. “So, I want you to know that I could rip your balls off, no problem. If our baby doesn’t like a food or the way something feels, no one is going to force them to put up with it. End of story.”

Satoru blinks, processing your threat. Then, slowly, he looks down between your bodies. “Oh.” His cheeks are flushed when he raises his head back up. “I’m hard.”

Somehow, you’ve been banished to the couch while Suguru and Satoru take charge of breakfast.

“Mister and Mister Control Freak,” you mutter under your breath as you shuffle out of the kitchen.

The couch is big enough that you don’t even touch Megumi when you sit down on the other side. You silently play a game on your own 3DS, trying not to wake him prematurely, but he starts to stir not soon after the smell of waffles fills the air. You reason that the girls won’t be far behind.

It’s cute, watching Megumi slowly lift up, spiky hair even wilder, blinking blearily. He harrumphs, so put upon by the waking world. You expect him to crawl off the couch and rummage around in his overnight bag to find a book to read, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he scoots closer to you, almost touching you. His eyes droop and he starts slumping in your direction. Just before he presses against your side, he remembers himself.

Voice rough with sleep, he asks, “Can I?” It makes you gooey on the inside. Makes you want to give him shit, too. Because he can pretend to be the cool and stoic type all he wants, but he’s stupidly protective of his sister and he does sweet things like never forgetting to ask for permission to touch you.

“Yes,” you answer warmly. “Thank you for asking.”

Megumi grunts, slumps against you, puts his head on your shoulder, and yanks his blanket up over himself. You bump your cheek against his head affectionately. It’s not long of watching you game before he’s dozed off again.

Not long after, the girls emerge from the guest bedroom all at once.

Three sets of feet go running. You’re certain they’ll be lured to the kitchen by the aroma of breakfast, but they bypass it entirely, and sprint to where you are on the couch. Megumi is startled awake, and you cringe at the sound of three high-pitched voices calling out your name.

Your relationship with touch is…complicated. You’re starved for it, but you only want it from people you know. Even with them, you have to prepare for it. You try to reason with your brain that the girls are excited. They haven’t seen you in a little while. As most little girls are, they’re ecstatic about your pregnancy because they dream of when they can have that, too. But they dogpile you, crowding close, reaching their hands out to touch your baby bump. Nanako, in her excitement, even slips her hands under your shirt. Panic shoots through you and you jerk as if you’ve been electrocuted.

“Girls,” Suguru’s voice rises above the rest. You don’t look over your shoulder, but his disappointment is palpable. “What have we said about touching people?”

Suguru has only spoken with Nanako and Mimiko, but even Tsumiki knows the answer. In unison, they mutter, “Ask.” The sigh of relief you give when they back away makes you feel awful. “We’re sorry.”

“Dumbasses,” Megumi hisses at them all.

“Yo! Who taught you that word?” Satoru shouts from the kitchen. “Bad word!”

“You,” Megumi answers bluntly.

“Breakfast is ready,” Suguru announces.

Guilt and anxiety twist up your insides. For all your talk of not making your child do something, you worry about not being able to give them the things they’ll need. Babies don’t care about overstimulation. They’ll cry. When they’re older, they’ll crave this same kind of touch, and how horrible a mother would you be to deny them that? Parenting has no breaks. A child’s needs come before your own. Do you think you’ll be allowed to have days where you don’t talk? What if you’re in public with them and you have a breakdown?

“Squid.” Suguru is crouched down in front of you. “I see you spiraling.” He holds out a hand. “Come eat.”

“Not hungry,” you whisper. The anxiety has muted your hunger. “I want to go back to bed.”

“If Satoru dragged me out of my spiral, I have to do the same.” You scowl at him. How is that even fair? You weren’t the one to pull him out of his hole. “I’m being very nice right now. I won’t make you talk about it. I just need you to try and get a little something down. If it’s too loud in the kitchen, I’ll bring it out here.”

Right. Okay. You’ve dealt with being pushed to power through the overload for your entire life. If you want to be a good mother, then you’ll keep doing that. That’s what being a parent is, right? Sacrifice. If you can force yourself to do something so that your child never goes without, you’ll do that. It’s better to practice now.

With a shaky sigh, you take Suguru’s hand, and let him help you up to your feet.

***

Sunday night comes too soon.

When it’s only you and Satoru left in the penthouse, you start to scheme.

Try to, anyway.

The two of you are on the couch, hunched over Satoru’s laptop. You’re both hopeless when it comes to romance, so you think that the internet might be helpful. The two of you titter and fuss and argue over control of the laptop after the first search of ‘how to confess’ only brings up articles for high schoolers.

“Wait!” Satoru is dead serious when he declares, “We need to buy a house.”

Your eye twitches. “Satoru,” you start slowly as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “He hasn’t even said yes. We don’t know that he even will. Can we take this one step at a time, please?”

“Eh? We should start the process, though. We only have four months left and it feels like we have so much to do. On top of my assignments, my mother is on my ass about Inu no Hi. Oh, we’ve got the babymoon to schedule. And we have to go to parenting classes because it’s not like either of us are asking our parents for tips.” He brightens. “Oh! What about that? We’ll have him house hunt with us, and we’ll pop the question when we make our choice.”

If you think too hard about the list he rattled off, you will meltdown. Like you told him, one step at a time. Just ignore all the rest. “Pop the question? This isn’t marriage. We can’t be overbearing. He’s like me. He’ll hate grand gestures and a house is…big.”

“Why are you struggling so much with this? You were his best friend first. Hasn’t he dated before? What’d they do when they were trying to pick him up?”

“School in the sticks was awful for us. Everyone knew everyone. We were the weird kids who saw things that weren’t there and that stuck with us for the rest of our lives, even when we learned to hide it. So, yeah, he was hot by middle school, but no one was interested in the local freaks.”

Satoru flops back with a loud groan. “Could you guys have been any more pathetic?”

“Your sympathy astounds me, Satoru, truly,” you say dryly.

“I wish I’d had met you guys sooner,” he confesses after a moment of silence. “I was such a problem child, always throwing tantrums, so I think my parents would’ve thrown money at yours to let you guys live with me at the Gojo estate. I’d probably have a less shitty personality if I was around people who understood me.”

“That’s debatable.” He digs his toes into your ticklish side, and you swat his feet away with a squeal. “I think the worst parts of your personality come from the fact that you were super spoiled and raised to think you’re a god. I also think the good outweighs the bad, so don’t get self-conscious.”

“Me? Self-conscious? I don’t know the meaning of that, dear.” Satoru shifts his position and puts his head in your lap. It’s his favorite place, you swear. He’s on his back. As he’s looking you in the eye, he reaches up to touch your face. “Ever since I was a kid, I never thought that I could connect to someone the way I’ve done with you.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks. You do have to look away from the eye contact this time. “You liked Suguru way before you liked me, y’know.”

“No. It was definitely you first,” Satoru corrects. “Shoko clocked me crushing on you even before I realized it. You should’ve seen how protective Suguru was of you.” He gives an airy laugh. “That’s why I’m not worried about him saying no, Sketch. It’s you. How can someone not be head over heels for you?”

You burst out into tears.

Satoru rolls with it because you’re a ball of nervous, hormonal energy these days. If you cried easy before, it’s insane how fast it can happen now. “I love you!” You definitely shouted that. You’re also definitely sobbing loudly. It’s okay because it’s with him, in private. Then, you think about how he wouldn’t care if you were in public because Satoru is the same.

Is this what true love is supposed to be like?

Because Satoru has admitted that you’ve taught him so much about his true self, but he’s taught you to accept yourself. Satoru is so sure of himself, both cocky and authentic. He knows that he doesn’t understand things like social cues, and he could give a shit less when he misses them. He’s loud and brash, especially when he’s excited. He’s blunt and a lot of people don’t like that, but a lot do. Ijichi has admitted that it saved his life when Satoru told him to quit being a sorcerer. Students have thanked Satoru for the honesty because it pushed them harder, and they survived because of it.

“I love you!”

Satoru keeps laughing but lifts up to a sitting position. “Alright, alright. I got it.” He slips an arm around your shoulders, reeling you in close against his chest. Before you smush your face against his shirt, he kisses your forehead. “I love you, too.”

[tiny-wooden-robot-fics]

Onset - Chapter One

Rating: Explicit Media: Jujutsu Kaisen/JJK Pairing: Geto Suguru x Original Female Character Characters: Geto Suguru, Valerie (OC) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Established Friendship, Geto and OC are roommates, Self-Insert, Smut, Penis in Vagina Sex, Creampie, Brief mention of an inability to get pregnant, Unprotected Sex, Cunnilingus, if I tagged everything we'd be here all day, This is part of a series

Part 3 of Sundane

Previous Part: Egg Fried Rice

Summary:

“What the fuck, Suguru?” She knows her skin doesn’t flush red, but she raises her hands to cover her face anyway.

“What?” He sits up, pulling his fingers out of her and nonchalantly bringing them to his mouth to suck her slick off of them. “We’ve been roommates for three years. You gonna pretend you’ve never heard me jerking off?” He raises an eyebrow at her when she peeks at him from between her fingers.

She silently and somewhat begrudgingly admits that he’s right.

“So where are they?”

“Why do you want to know?”

Read on AO3

“Why my bedroom?” 

She means for it to sound like a complaint, but her tone is not quite right. She’s more aroused than annoyed - embarrassingly so, she might admit if forced to - her words pointed in the direction of the ceiling because tilting her head that way is the best way to keep Suguru doing what he’s doing.

At the moment, he has his face buried in her neck, treating his lips and teeth and tongue to the taste of her skin and working on leaving what is sure to be an impressive family of hickeys come morning. 

“Because,” he mumbles in between kisses, “your bed is more comfortable than mine.”

She knows he’s right; on more than one occasion she’s found him napping in her room. “I told you to get the pillow top mattress,” she laughs. “Now I bet you wish you had listened to me.”

He raises his head to look at her. “My mattress is the last thing on my mind right now.” 

It’s a fair point. And while she may have set out to complain about where they’re doing what they’re doing, any further grousing she’s planned to do gets sidelined by the reality of what they’re doing. Hating the fact that she’s being so pragmatic about things, she tugs lightly on a handful of his hair to get his attention. “Suguru.”

“Hm.” He’s slid down her body to take a vested interest in tonguing her nipples through the thin fabric of her sports bra and is only half-listening. 

“Suguru.” She says his name again, this time with slightly more urgency. 

“What.” It’s not quite a whine, but it’s close enough, and she almost feels bad for interrupting when he’s clearly having as much fun as she is. 

“Before we get too… distracted,” she huffs, trying to ignore the way he looks: hair disheveled, lips wet with spit, one hand on her hip and the other toying with the nipple he’s just taken his mouth off of as he looks up at her. “Do you have something? I… don’t. It’s been a while.”

Suguru makes a concerted effort to understand what she’s saying. When her meaning is clear, he shakes his head. “Don’t need it.” He lowers his mouth to her breast again, this time sliding her sports bra up and effectively removing the last barrier between her skin and his tongue. 

“Wait,” she protests, even though she does nothing to stop him. She helps him along, in fact, by raising her arms above her head so he can slide the bra completely off of her body. “That’s---”

“Come on,” he interrupts her, right before making a little trail of kisses from the place under the swell of her breast to her navel. “Just once, I wanna go without. We’re both clean and I already know you can’t get pregnant, remember?” He grins up at her from where he’s come to rest between her thighs, his chin on her belly.

“You’re not wrong, but you didn’t have to say it that way,” she sighs. Despite her words, she widens her legs to let him settle himself more comfortably between them.

“Sorry,” he says, still grinning and sounding anything but apologetic as he relieves her of her shorts and the panties beneath them. “I’ll make it up to you.” 

And he sets out to do just that. 

She thinks it’s a little unfair how good Suguru is at what he’s doing, but it isn’t really a surprise. It’s as if he’s known all along what her favorite things are - the way he teases her entrance with the tip of his tongue, or the way he somehow just seems to know that wetting his finger and sliding it between the left side of her clit and her outer labia makes her produce some of the prettiest moans he’s ever heard. Suguru eats her out slowly and sloppily, letting his mouth do most of the work while he buries two fingers inside her so he can relish the feel of her tightening and pulsing around them. 

She’s quiet, but he knows she likes it from the way she’s holding fistfuls of his hair, tugging his head this way and that to guide his mouth where she wants it. Suguru lets her, even though he knows those parts of his scalp are going to be sore when it’s all said and done. 

Nor does he tell her that he’s only ever let one other person put their hands in his hair like this. He doesn’t know what she would make of that kind of admission anyway.

When she comes, he stills his fingers completely but doesn’t withdraw them. His mouth, however, keeps busy. He slows and softens his pace just enough to keep her in that place between post-orgasmic pleasantness and overstimulation, mouthing at all the spots he now knows she likes. She’s still twitching and fluttering around his fingers when he speaks. “Hey… where are your toys?”

“Toys?” She parrots the word, confused and still coming down from her high. “What toys?”

“You know what toys.” He grins up at her. “The ones I heard you using a few nights ago.”

“What the fuck, Suguru?” She knows her skin doesn’t flush red, but she raises her hands to cover her face anyway. 

“What?” He sits up, pulling his fingers out of her and nonchalantly bringing them to his mouth to suck her slick off of them. “We’ve been roommates for three years. You gonna pretend you’ve never heard me jerking off?” He raises an eyebrow at her when she peeks at him from between her fingers. 

She silently and somewhat begrudgingly admits that he’s right.

“So where are they?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Why the fuck do you think I want to know?” He laughs. “I’d like to see what you’re used to.”

She uncovers her face and looks dubiously at him. She says nothing, instead simply motioning towards the drawer in her nightstand and watching him rummage through her colorful collection of toys. 

“You can take this?” The ‘this’ in question is a dildo in his hand, the largest one she owns. 

She nods.

Amused, he raises his eyebrows. “You like it?” 

“Yes,” she snaps, embarrassment getting the better of her and making the word sound much more defensive than she intends it to. “Is that a problem?”

“Nope,” Suguru replies smugly. “Just means I don’t have to wonder whether or not mine can fit.”

She wants so badly to put him in his place, but one look at the way his cock springs free when he comes out of his bottoms shuts her mouth. 

“What’s the matter?” He nudges his body between her open legs, her bottle of lube in one hand and his cock in the other. “Are you scared of it?” His words are teasing, as is the smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth. 

“Of that? You wish,” she retorts with a roll of her eyes. “I was just wondering if you treat all the women you sleep with this shitty.” Even as her mouth forms the insult, she’s grateful for the way he liberally coats himself in lube. 

“You think this is shitty?” He laughs, holding his cock between his thumb and forefinger and repeatedly slapping it against her still-sensitive clit. She bites back - just barely - the little noise of pleasure that threatens to escape her as he does so. “I’m giving you the princess treatment, if you really wanna know the truth.”

Anything she’s intending to say gets lost, swallowed by the feel of Suguru’s lips on hers and the head of his cock pushing at her entrance. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles into her mouth, when he’s fully seated inside her. As good as he’s been imagining she would feel around him, the reality is that she feels even better. Suguru leans back to look down at her, making the mistake of meeting her eyes. 

“Oh,” she says quietly. He doesn’t know what she sees in his expression to make her react that way, but whatever it is can’t be bad - she’s looking up at him with soft, gentle eyes. 

He just might lose himself if he’s not careful. 

Time to laugh it off. “Better than your best toy, right?” He pushes that smug undertone into his voice again.

He’s expecting a sharp response, something snarky and perhaps mildly insulting. What he gets instead is more of those soft, gentle eyes. She cups his face in her hands and brings his mouth to hers, kissing him in a way that feels much too intimate and romantic for the way he’s about to fuck her. 

Suguru can’t figure out if it’s good or bad, and the uncertainty of it makes him want to crawl out of his skin. 

He pulls his hips back, slamming them into her again hard enough to make him worry for a split second that he’s actually hurt her. The way she clenches around him and the little sound she makes is enough to put that fear to rest, and he takes her wrapping her arms around him as permission to keep going. 

So he does.

He pounds into her hard, registering that he’s probably going too hard but not really able to stop himself. Tit for tat, he thinks, hissing as he feels her nails raking down his shoulders in a way that he’s sure will break the skin. Her hips rock up to meet his on every thrust, his balls slapping against her ass.

“Quit clawing at me like a damn bobcat,” he grunts between thrusts, his hair falling around her like silk and tickling her shoulders as he lowers his head to her neck. The retort that’s halfway out of her mouth dies on her lips when his teeth make contact with her skin. He wants to bite her hard enough for it to hurt, but his mouth and his brain are misaligned in their interests and he ends up sucking desperately at the place where her neck meets her shoulder.

“S-Sugu--ruuu,” she wails in a stuttering breath, and he feels a little bit vindicated because of it. She’s been so damn quiet, and that isn’t what he wants. He wants her loud. He wants her saying his name over and over like she’s praying to a god. He wants her drooling and stupid with her eyes rolled back in her head and her brain gone dumb as he gets her drunk on and addicted to the feeling of his cock.

He wants to completely unmake her.

The thought stabs him in the side with an unexplained pang of guilt, but he ignores it. “Still think it’s shitty, Valerie?” He pants, his breath warming the side of her face. “Still thinking about my cheap mattress and all that other unnecessary shit?”

She stares back up at him, and there it is: that glazed-over, fucked-out look he’s been waiting for. 

She wonders if he can see the thoughts in her head… if he knows just how good it feels, how her sweat-slicked body is surrounding him in all the ways she can be. Her arms encircling his broad shoulders, her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, her pussy stretched and stuffed full of his cock. Suguru is bigger than her toy - she’s sure of it now - and she wonders absently if she will ever be satisfied with anything other than him for the rest of her life.

She isn’t sure what he’s reaching for when his hand leaves her side, and understanding of what’s in his hand when it returns doesn’t dawn on her until she feels the vibrations of it. 

“Y-you,” is all she has time to get out before he works the little purple toy between their bodies to place it right up against her clit. He stills his hips, but it doesn’t blunt the vibrator’s effect on her. “That’s not fair,” she gasps, her voice pitched high and thin as her control slips. 

“I’m just being a gentleman,” he laughs stiltedly. One look at him is all it takes for her to understand that his own control is slipping - he’s sweating too, tendrils of damp hair stuck to his face and his muscles taut with the effort to keep himself in check. “Yeah,” he says, as though she’s asked him a question. “So go ahead and come for me first… hm?”

Val hates that her body chooses that moment to do exactly that, her climax syncing with his words as though what he’s said is a command for her to obey. Suguru tosses the vibrator over the side of the bed, and she doesn’t have time to wonder whether or not its clattering fall to the floor has broken it before his lips are on hers, tongue bullying its way into her mouth much the same way his cock is bullying its way in and out of her spasming walls.

He doesn’t pull out of her when he comes, just pushes into her as deep as he can and buries his teeth in the tender flesh of her left breast. The bite is more pleasurable than painful. Still, she lets out a little yelp that prompts him to drag his lips across the spot, soothing it with his tongue.

The two of them stay as they are for a few minutes after, chests rising and falling in tandem as they try to catch their breath. She threads her fingers through his hair, apologizing to him without words for all the places she’s yanked at it and massaging his scalp to alleviate the soreness.

He slips out of her and she tries not to wince, but her thighs are achy from being pushed open so wide and for so long. “Okay… I guess I need to add more flexibility training to my weekly rotation,” she manages with a laugh. Suguru doesn’t respond. His gaze is trained between her legs, and he’s got two fingers pressed against her pussy, gently prodding at her. “Suguru… what are you doing?”

“Putting the cream back in the pie,” he murmurs. He watches his cum leak out of her, catching it with those same two fingers and pushing it back inside of her. There’s no pang of guilt in his side anymore, but the feeling that has replaced it is something he’s only ever felt a variation of, and not in a long time. 

It feels… almost proprietary, seeing a part of him leaking out of her. It speaks to something long-forgotten inside of him, that urge to stuff it all back into her body and to keep that piece of him there with her. 

Valerie is about to tell him how bad his joke was when she catches sight of the expression on his face. She gets the sense that while what Suguru has said was meant to sound like a joke, the meaning behind what he’s doing isn’t lighthearted at all. So she keeps quiet, letting him continue what he’s doing and feeling the warmth radiate off of his body as she plays in his hair.

“So,” Suguru finally says, raising his head and resting his cheek against her abdomen so he can look at her over the swell of her breast. “How was your rebound fuck?”

It makes her laugh, even though she feels the need to set him straight about it. “It wasn’t a rebound fuck,” she says, when she’s stopped chuckling. “Rebound fucks usually happen pretty quickly after a breakup, you know.”

“Damn, that’s disappointing,” he teases her, even as he curls his arms around her waist and leans into the gentle touch of her fingertips on his sore scalp. “I wanted to be able to put that on my resume. If I’m not your rebound fuck, then what was I?”

Val is quiet for a minute, still soothing his scalp in all the places she’d pulled too hard at his hair. “Not to stroke your ego or anything, but you were pretty fucking amazing,” she admits. “I take back what I said about it being shitty,” she adds with a smile. “So now I’ll ask you again: do you treat all the women you take to bed this way?”

She asks the question, not really wanting to know the answer but feeling like it’s important to ask anyway. 

“Yeah,” he answers after a moment. “It doesn’t hurt to make them feel special, even if they’re not.” 

She doesn’t know how to feel about that, so she tucks the ambiguity of her emotions away and stays quiet. 

Chapter Two

If you would like to be tagged in updates to this work or my other fics, please let me know. :)

About Me | My Fics | Ask

[sea-lanterns]

Hi I’m hoping to get some advice with this: so on my alt blog I’ve been wanting to get back into writing like a lot of the blogs I like (yours included ☺️) but well I never know what to write cause I don’t get any interaction. I know I should learn to write for myself but idk I guess what I’m trying to ask is, if you’ve been in this situation, what do you do when you wanna write stuff but don’t know what to write?

Well, for starters I will suggest writing for what you’d like to see yourself in first. A lot of the stuff I write is purely for my own indulgence and desires, so a lot of it is actually self insert stuff disguised as x readers (that’s why so many of my fics have a sub reader lol) if you are delusional enough to imagine that you are actually in the place of the Reader, you will find the drive to write for these made up scenarios you make up for yourself 😌

I will also recommend not taking requests. I see a lot of writing blogs take requests for fics, but do remember you are not obligated to take all of them. Requests can be good for inspiration, but it can also be overwhelming to write for so many of them at a time. I don’t take requests for fics because I like to write at my own pace without the stress of hurrying for someone’s fic, and that makes writing a lot more enjoyable and easier imo

Thirdly, I will also recommend going outside. I actually take a lot of my inspiration for fics and thirsts from going outside, seeing places, and imagining unique scenarios that take place in them that inspire me to envision them with the characters I love. An example of this is my very popular pool smut fic, which was inspired from going on vacation with my family last summer.

I guess some extra advice I could give is:

- For more interactions on your blogs, use big, main tags for posts that are relevant. Even if the post is small, like a small Drabble of a Ningguang x Reader thirst, tag it with Ningguang x Reader. If it is relevant to the tag, you can tag it. Don’t be shy.

- To keep up engagement within your blogs, try to post at least 3-5 times every day and interact with your readers in your inbox. It sounds like a lot, but I’ve been doing this method for a while on at least one of my blogs at a time. I have 3 blogs in total, but I will almost always update at least once or twice a day on one of them.

I hope this advice helps you and any other writers who wish to build up momentum! I’m no expert, but this is just what I’ve been doing for the past year 😅

[tsukiyouyuis]

Snow Light

Hi everyone:) I finally decided to post the one and only writing I did for Genshin! This was an old work I did back in January 2022 to commemorate one of my most valuable game experiences. (I started Genshin in December 2021)

Character: Diluc Ragnvindr

Pov: You = The traveler/Player self-inserted

Synopsis: You have always wanted to explore Dragonspine ever since you first arrived in Mondstadt, but the cold was too much for you to handle, unless you can go with someone who is warm enough…

Premise: Both you and Diluc are secretly having a crush on each other.

Timeline: Liyue archon quest. Post-Mondstadt archon quest + Diluc’s story quest.

Tags: SFW, fluff, confession, adventure, Diluc is sweet and caring

Please note:

This is a translated work. Please note that English is not my first language and I’ve never written a fic in English before. I tried my best for the translation and please bear with me if you find any mistakes.

No gender specific pronouns were used. However, “you” was implied to be a female at some point since it was written on my POV based on my true game experience.

The title of this work came from the song “Snow Light” by Kensho Ono (Diluc’s JP VA). For me, those lyrics are Diluc's words of confession. I put the translations at the end and you are very welcome to check out how I think Diluc confesses his love specifically in this context :)

I hope you enjoy reading this long story ^_^

After destroying another hilichurl’s camp, you suddenly feel tired of everything.

You silently put those materials into your bag and walk to the highest spot of the mountain. The sun at noon is quite dazzling and it is hurting your eyes a bit, but it does not prevent you from having a great view of the entire Liyue Harbor. No matter what happens, those bustling streets and crowds will always be there.

It has been a while since you left the city of freedom and came to this land of geo. You are having a lot of fun admiring the beautiful yet different scenery and cultural heritage. Meanwhile, you have also met a lot of weird people, which…did not really surprise you right after leaving Mondstadt. The most typical example would be the man who is accompanying you in your journey -- Zhongli, the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who is extremely knowledgeable on almost everything, yet being totally clueless about money. Thanks to him, you always have to keep an eye on your mora to ensure that you and Paimon can still pay for your meals…

But this did not prevent you from growing interests for Liyue. In order to get to know this nation better, you have decided to do your daily commissions only here.  

You haven’t been active in Mondstadt for quite a while.  

Even so, you can easily to go back thanks to the teleport waypoints. Mondstadt is like a home for you. You know you can never actually leave there, especially after you have already crossed paths with too many people.

But there is only one main reason for you to keep going back and forth in two nations.

Every day, you would teleport back to Dawn Winery after finishing your activities. You would stroll around the statue of the seven, pick up a few windwheel asters, and look at the windmills of the city in distance. You would then go sit on the bench, enjoy the scent of grapes and wine. At the end, you would go inside the manor, and wait for the next day to begin.

The winery is open to the public all year round, but the maids and Elzer have basically acquiesced in you being there. Adelinde remembered all the books you like to read, and she would even prepare them for you beforehand. Almost every day, you would leave in the morning and come back in the evening, which made you feel like you are treating this place as a home more than the owner does.

However, you haven't seen Diluc since you worked together to resolve the stormterror issue. He seems rarely comes home. Sometimes he did come back, but you either happened to be away or have already fallen asleep in one of the guest rooms. You heard that he would occasionally work at the Angel’s Share as a bartender, so whenever you completed your commissions quickly enough, allowing you to come back earlier, you would always drop by. But only archons would know why you were unlucky enough to miss the redhead every single time. Instead, you did encounter that cavalry captain quite often. It always turned out that you were teased by him and had to ran away from the tavern with flushed cheeks.

Well known by everyone in Mondstadt, Diluc Ragnvindr is a handsome and wealthy gentleman, the highly respected young master of Dawn Winery. However, only a few know that he is also the “Darknight Hero” who protects the city every night. No matter using which identity, he will not be distracted by anything and always gets everything done perfectly. As far as you can remember, Diluc's expression has never changed dramatically, and coupled with his calm demeanor, it is not surprising if people say that he is grumpy or lacking emotion.

But that is not the case, you know it. When Paimon called him "Captain Pyro", he let out a disapproval grunt, but then acquiesced in this more nonsensical name after the tasteless title of "Darknight Hero". You spent quite a lot of time working with him during the stormterror attacks. Every night when you left the winery and said good night to him, he would look straight into your eyes and say "Alright, see you next time, I’ll make sure you get home safely." His soothing voice, his gentle tones, the tint of smile in his eyes…How can you ever forget those moments?

Yes, unknowingly, like many girls in Mondstadt, you have secretly fell in love with this prince of the dark night. Every day, you would spend quite a long time in Dawn Winery, scanning through the rows of books on the bookshelf with your fingertips, and then randomly pick one, sit down and read it carefully. Diluc is in charge of basically the entire alcohol industry in Mondstadt and probably half of Teyvat, the contents of his book collections are naturally about alcohol. You have heard from Conner saying that “Master Diluc has never read books in the winery, not even once…” But even so, your day-to-day habits have not changed, despite you don’t really understand the content by heart.

After all, this is the only way you can get close to Diluc without being able to meet him.

The dazzling sunshine pulls you out of your memories. You blink, and your eyes drift involuntarily to another direction – the direction of Dragonspine, which is the only place you haven’t explored in Mondstadt. Of course, it's not that you haven't tried, but the sheer cold was really beyond your ability to bear. Probably you will try again after you become stronger, or being able to master the pyro element, just like Diluc…

You can’t help but think of him again. Being a wielder of a pyro vision, he surely won’t be bothered by such coldness. He himself is as warm and bright as the morning sun, otherwise how can he dispel the shadow covering Mondstadt?

You sigh and open the map, trying to figure out how to kill the rest of the afternoon and hopefully, this will pull you out from all those fantasies about the redhead…

But a second later, you hear something behind you. Fear builds up in your chest instantly and you almost fall down. Thanks to the person who made the sound grabbed your arm, you did not fall off the cliff.

"I see…It seems like you are more easily to get nervous after gaining more experience."

That familiar voice makes you turn your head swiftly, and you see the face you have been thinking about all day and night. You can see the reflection of your flustered self in those ruby-like eyes.

"Oh! D-Diluc—uh, sir," you dodge his gaze, feeling the scorching heat spread from the back of your ears, "Ah...why you happen to be here?"

Diluc frowns slightly after hearing the honorific you deliberately added, but his tone is as calm as usual, "It doesn't matter where I am, right? This is nothing to be surprised about."

"But…we are in Liyue?" And on the top of a mountain with nothing but monsters and trees.

Anyone would find it strange that Master Diluc, who is dedicated to protecting Mondstadt day and night, appears in a place other than Mondstadt for no obvious reasons.

"..." Diluc freezes for a short moment, he then lets go of your arm, "This is not something you should worry about." Under your curious yet confused gaze, he slowly looks away and clears his throat, "…Please don't look at me like that."

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry!" You apologize in a panic, quickly adjusting your facial expression. But you accidentally see the blush of his ears. Before you had time to think about it, Diluc speaks again.

"There's no need to apologize.” He said, the slight embarrassment that was previously on his face is gone as if you were hallucinating, “How are you doing recently?"

"Eh? Um, well…" you are a little caught off guard, but still answer him with a smile, "I'm doing good, and I haven't been too busy with commissions recently. Thank you, Master Diluc, for your concern."

Diluc does not respond immediately, but his eyes soften, which is captured by you. A faint happiness fills your heart. You know that he is not simply being polite, but is genuinely caring about you.

"It's been a while since you and I have seen each other." After a short pause, he continued, "I heard from Adelinde that you would visit the winery every day. Did you encounter any difficulties?"

"Well...um...not really." You keep your gaze down, attempting to hide your embarrassment by fiddling with your own fingers. What are you supposed to tell him? Of course you can't just say that you want to stay at the house of your crush for… a little longer.

Diluc sighs, "It's alright if you don't want to tell me, but if you encounter any problems or have any needs, you can always come to me."

Ah, yes…He had said the same to you after the darknight hero incident. You did encounter a lot of problems when you first started your adventure, but you didn’t want to bother Diluc for such personal matters. After all, he is known as a busy person. So in the end you would always find a way to solve everything by yourself, even if you ended up getting yourself into more troubles, failing everything, or getting injured. After all, you dare not rely on others easily after parting from your sibling.

But these are actually excuses, you know that. After realizing that you had fell for Diluc, you didn’t know how to deal with your feeling, because you know it will never work out. You are an outlander, a traveler. After you find your sibling and reach the end of the journey, you will leave Teyvat, and you will leave him, probably forever.

You had tried to avoid him, thinking that in this way, your feelings would fade away as the time goes by.

But unfortunately, the effects were completely opposite. Your feelings towards him grew day by day until you couldn’t suppress them in any possible way. You couldn’t help but wanting to meet him. You want to stay with him, to talk with him, to travel with him, to rely on him…

You feel your face starts to burn as you are thinking about it, and you are so flustered that you don't know where to look. Diluc is standing right in front of you, and as you keep avoiding making eye contacts with him, your attention is caught by the vision attached to his belt. The pyro element glimmers in the glass bead, and that beautiful crimson color resembles the wielder’s eyes and hairs.

"Traveler?"

Diluc's puzzled voice is heard overhead, and you finally decide to look up and meet his eyes. At that moment, you suddenly accept the fact that no matter how hard you try to supress your feelings, it is useless, so there is no point to torture yourself like this. You already knew that it will never work out, so now you might as well follow your own inner thoughts.

"A-Actually, I have a matter that you could probably help me, Master Diluc." You try to calm yourself down, but you seem have lost your voice, "If it's possible..."

Diluc didn’t respond, and his expression stays the same, but obviously he is waiting for your next words.

"Could you…um, accompany me to Dragonspine...?"

You can’t help but to start panicking right after saying it. What if he rejects you? Once again, you find it is too hard to look him into the eyes, but it will be strange to lower your head suddenly. So you lock your eyes on the red gem on his bow tie and meanwhile, clasping your hands tightly behind your back, feeling that your palms are starting to sweat.

"Yes," Diluc agrees immediately, without even a hesitation. You look at him again in surprise, but you can see that he is confused. "But what are you going to do in Dragonspine? If you need any materials, I can find them for you directly."

"Ah, it has nothing to do with materials! It's just because I haven't really been there yet." Your respond excitedly, temporarily forgetting the shyness and embarrassment when facing Diluc. "I can’t master the pyro element at the moment, and it's just too cold there..."

Diluc looks into your shining eyes, the corners of his mouth are slightly raised, "I see, you are right. After all, you are an adventurer, and the joy of adventure always comes first."

His smile makes you lose your mind once again. Those feelings that have just been left behind came back to you in the blink of an eye.

A gentle gust of wind blows, Diluc looks at the blue sky, and you look at him. His crimson hairs is so beautiful under the sunshine, just as dazzling as the dawn.

“Let’s go.”

​

Dragonspine is still as beautiful as in your memory. The white snow covers every inch of the land, yet that’s not the only colour. The most conspicuous one is undoubtedly the red beam of the statue of the seven, which will be your destination today.

You follow Diluc silently. The sound of your boots stepping on the snow seems to be amplified many times. Even though you two had left the teleport waypoint for not even a minute, you already start to feel the sheer cold is devouring you.

"Here, take this," Diluc, who had been silent all this time, suddenly speaks. You are startled, while he hands over a red ore, "This is called the scarlet quartz, which can keep you warm temporarily."

The moment you take the scarlet quartz, it disappears as if melted by your body temperature.  You suddenly feel a nice and warm aura surrounding you.

"Wow, this is amazing!" You look at your hands in surprise, "Thank you, Master Diluc!"

"No need. The effect of the quartz can only last for a while. So if you are still cold, just let me know any time." He responds, followed by a hesitant expression.

"... Diluc,” he speaks after a brief pause, “just...call me Diluc is fine."

His words make you stop everything you were doing and thinking but only to look at him. At your first glance, Diluc's face is still as unamazed as usual, but obviously he is trying you avoid your eyes. And probably your vision is not too well due to the snow, but you are pretty sure that you see a suspicious faint blush on his cheeks. Could it be because he was just too cold as well……?

"B-But..." You stammer, feeling the heat gradually creeping up your entire face. But before you can say anything else, a group of hilichuirls, those who have ice shields in their hands, appears out of nowhere.

Immediately, Diluc gushes forward. Crimson flames burst out along with his movements. Even you, who is a distance away from the battle, can feel that extreme heat mediating from him. The moment when you come back to your senses and get ready to help, the battle is over, leaving only the melted snow and fallen materials.

You stand there awkwardly. Of course, the main reason that you invited Diluc, who masters the pyro element, to accompany you to Dragonspine was because you wanted to rely on him a little. Something like this shouldn’t be surprising, but when it actually happens, you still feel really bad about your incapability.

Diluc puts away his claymore and turns to you. And as if he had seen through your mind, his expression softens, "It’s nothing."

Seeing that you are still standing in a daze, he hesitates for a moment, and then comes closer to you. He lightly pokes your forehead with his gloved fingertips, "Come on, just take the materials, and we'll move on, okay?"

"……Thank you." You whisper your gratitude, blushing, and trying your best to let your heart calm down from his touch and his words. Diluc's voice is still as gentle and soothing as ever, making you feel like you are floating on top of the cloud. His flames seem to have lingered onto the skin touched by him, It’s not a burning heat, but a warmth that flows into your heart.

Fortunately, there are not too many enemies popping out as you two are getting closer and closer to the statue. Or maybe, all kinds of hilichuirls are buried under Diluc's flames when you are too busy enjoying the scenery or collecting materials.

You have never stayed this close to him for such a long time. His flying red hairs, flames brought out by his claymore, all perfectly complement with the whiteness of the snow. You always stare at him subconsciously and have to spend at least few seconds to bring your mind back.

He is just like a tint of fire that keeps you warm in the snow, makes you feel incredibly safe, makes you can’t feel the cold seeping into your body.

And it isn't until you hadn't been close to any fire or the minerals of the scarlet quartz for quite a while that you realized that you were already freezing.

Unfortunately, this is a bad timing. Diluc is not by your side now. He asked you to wait for him a bit and then left. You look at the surroundings, the beautiful snow you were seeing before is now somehow shrouded in a layer of dark mist.

An inexplicable fear surges into your heart like a tide. The wind is freezing cold, whistling in your ears. You tightly wrap all of your clothes around your body, but still can’t stop the biting chill from pouring into your collar. It is not that you have never felt cold before, but you still get scared after seeing your breath condensed into visible white particles floating around you.

Your vision has started to blur, and your legs seem to have lost all the strength…You are about to fall down—

The wet and cold feeling of the snow does not come as you expected. Instead, you feel soft fabrics, surrounded by a faint aroma of grapes and firewood. It is so familiar and reassuring, it is your favorite smell...

"Careful!"

You are still cold, but the fear in your heart fades away instantly, just like ice being melted by fire. And as you gradually catch your breath, you slowly open your eyes, and find yourself leaning on Diluc's chest, with him gently encircling your waist.

Oh archons, this is way too close, and he is holding you in his arms. Normally, you surely would immediately jump away, flustering like a mass and wanting to die. But now you can’t even stand properly, and your brain is just not functioning. Diluc's clothes are as cold as the surrounding environment, but strangely, his embrace is so warm, warm enough to make you, a person who is cold and longing for warmth instinctively, want to stay like this forever.

But after you recover a little bit and feeling able to stand still, the unbelievable idea of "being held by Diluc in his arms" brings you back to reality again. Diluc obviously notices the change in you. He lets go of his hand, but then immediately takes off his coat and wraps it around you, almost covering your whole body.

"I’m sorry," he looks at you, obviously worried, "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I was just looking for a place where we can rest. I should’ve taken you with me."

You shake your head, "No…no, please don’t apologize, Master Diluc. I know you will come back." But to be honest, you almost let your fear won after realizing that you couldn’t feel any other human being but yourself in this cold, empty, and completely silent place.

"..." Diluc does not answer directly but looks at you deeply. Something is in his eyes, but you can’t really tell what it is. He then holds your hand, "...Come with me."

He takes you to a spot with cooking ware and fire, which seems to be lightened just now. The whole area is surrounded by tall rocks that block most of the wind. Almost immediately, you start to feel your hand and face again as the warmth seeping into your frozen bones. Diluc makes sure you sit down near the fire, then he started to set up the cooking pot.

You stand up again as a reflex. You’ve already done this on your own so many times, even when you were injured badly enough that you could barely move. And besides, no matter what is happening, it is still hard to let the master of Dawn Winery to cook for you.

"Sit down and rest."

His slightly commanding tone makes you unable to disobey. You can only sit down again, obediently.

While fixing your gaze on Diluc, you let yourself completely immersed into his coat. The smell of firewood mixed with the faint aroma of grapes and wine is now surrounding you once again. You take a deep breath, recalling this smell from Dawn Winery, from the vineyard, from the books he read, pages he touched… At that moment, you feel like you are at home.

You observe Diluc once again. This is the first time you see clearly what are under his coat. A black shirt with a white vest, the belt that goes from his shoulder and connected to his waist… He has such a nice shape…If you look further downwards-

You are startled by what you are doing and immediately turn your head aside, squeezing your eyes shut.

Now you are really warmed up……

After having some warm soup, you feel much better. The snow seems to be lighter than before as you two set out on the road again. You can see that red beam of light is getting closer and closer to you.

Snow falls on Diluc's hairs and shoulders. His shirt is slightly disheveled by the wind. You suddenly remember his coat is still on you.

"Master Diluc, " You speak hesitantly, about to take it off, "Um… you must be cold, I'll give this back to-"

"You can wear it." He replies, "The pyro vision can minimize the impact of the coldness on my body." He puts the coat back on you, carefully feeling your body temperature, "You need to keep warm more than I do. If you fall down again, I will be very troubled."

Thus you get the following: A redhead wearing only a shirt and vest, walking in the heavy snow, followed by a small figure wrapped in a big black coat, which does not seem too inappropriate considered you are in Dragonspine, one of the most mysterious regions in Teyvat.

Fortunately, you two successfully end up arriving in front of the statue of the seven, and the last obstacle is a layer of ancient rime piled up at the bottom. You are just about to clear it with your normal attack as usual, but before you can do it, Diluc stops you, "Wait."

"You need to have the scarlet quartz to clear them." He explains, "The subzero climate here in Dragonspine makes normal attacks useless, even with pyro elemental infusion."

"I see…" You look around, trying to find the redness in the surrounding, "There it is!"

A minute later, you come back with the effect of scarlet quartz. The rime was successfully cleared away by your charged attack. The red glowing statue makes the surroundings extremely warm. You look up at the anemo archon, memories flooding back into your mind. Venti, Dvalin, the Holy Lyre, Stormterror’s Lair, Jean, and Diluc, who is standing right behind you at this moment…

You close your eyes and stretch out your hand, the last statue of the seven in the Mondstadt area will be lightened up soon—

...

Nothing happened?

You open your eyes, confused. Normally the statue should have been lit by your touch, yet it is still glowing red at this time. You also can't feel the anemo element at all...

"As what I expected…" Diluc sighs, and you turn to face him, "It’s probably because I am here. I think that our humble anemo archon can't tolerate other people disturbing you."

"What? No, it shouldn’t, it can’t be…" You stand there helplessly, with your hand still on the statue. After months, you are finally here, and the journey to here with the accompany of Diluc is an absolute treasure to you. And now everything will go wasted?

You feel like your tears are about to fall, "…I need to go back to square one and do everything all over again…?"

"No." Diluc says, "You have already reached this point successfully, there is no need to start over."

Through the flying snowflakes, you can still clearly see him. His eyes are soft, he is smiling at you…

The snow seems to become heavy again. Diluc’s red hairs are flying in the cold wind. You are trembling slightly, but your feet can’t move as if they have rooted in the ground. You can only stand there, letting a thin layer of wind and snow separate you and him.

"I believe you can do well on your own from now on." Diluc continues, his crimson eyes met yours, and he smiles again, obvious enough for you to see it clearly, "Today's journey was quite delightful, traveler."

"Wait, Di—" You shout his name, but is blinded by the sudden strong wind. However, after only a few seconds, the wind stops, and you are facing an empty space, just like nobody was there before.

You look around anxiously, but you can’t feel any other human being. At the same time, the statue emits a dazzling blue light. The anemo element pours into your palm. You look up at this last statue in Mondstadt, but without any excitement and joy as you have imagined.

You sit down leaning against the statue and letting the wind whistling in your ears. Diluc's sudden departure gave you a feeling of waking up from a dream. However, the aroma lingering around reminds you that what happened today was not a dream. You look down at the black coat you are still wearing, those luxurious golden patterns are slightly deformed in your hands.

You didn’t even get a chance to say thank you...

Suddenly, you no longer have any interest in staying in Dragonspine, at least for today. You open the map, and in the next second you are standing under the identical statue, but at Dawn Winery.

Night has fallen. The wind gently blows your hair. Unlike the ones in Dragonspine, it feels warm.

You take off the coat and hold it in your hand, start walking towards the winery. You mind hasn’t come back yet, but your legs just automatically bring you right to the front of the manor.

"Welcome back, Miss." As soon as you enter the main entrance, you are greeted by Adelinde. Her eyes then fall on the thing in your hand, and she smiles, "Looks like you finally met Master Diluc today."

"Well, that’s true..." You reply in a low voice. You are embarrassed. During all this time, Adelinde has not only allowed you to live here, but she would even prepare the breakfast for you, send you out every morning, and welcome you back in the evening. Obviously, her attitude towards you is no longer as simple as a "guest".

You want to give the coat to the head housemaid, but she says that you can put it directly in Diluc's room.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Although you two have already known each other very well, and you have lived here for so long, you are still, well, a guest, after all. It is definitely not appropriate to go directly into the room of the master.

"Master ordered a long time ago that you, Miss, is allowed to enter any room in the winery."

Well then in that case…

Diluc's room is next to his study on the second floor. You have passed by countless times, but now you are a little nervous about going in. After a moment of hesitation, you carefully open the door.

The lights in the room have already been turned on. In addition to that comfortable king-size bed, there is also a desk that is similar to his study but without many things on top, surrounded by tall bookshelves. The curtains are half drawn, and the night outside could be seen. The luxurious furnishing of the room resembles the entire manor, but you can see the owner reserved a style exclusive for himself. A few wax-sealed letters are sitting on the desk, waiting to be mailed. You stare at Diluc's beautiful handwriting, an image of him sitting there and signing his name appears in front of you. Gosh, he must be as elegant as usual…

After looking around the room, you realize that there is only one place to leave his coat without opening the closet. You approach the bed, hands resting on those soft sheets. You don’t know if you are just tired or still too excited from having a trip with Diluc, but ever since you entered his room, there has been a warmth surrounding you, which is the same feeling he gave you when you were in Dragonspine today. It feels like he is still with you…

And he would sleep on this bed…by himself, after calling a day.

You swiftly cover your burning cheeks, "Stop! What the hell am I thinking?"

However……

Looking at those neat beddings, a sadness comes into you. On top of running a huge business that brings so much work and responsibilities, Diluc is only a young man who is not even older than you. How many nights can he sleep on this bed without being exhausted or stressed out…?

It is already very late, and he hasn't come back yet. Seems like the darknight hero is working hard again. Your feel like your eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier, and your mind is full of the redhead when your eyes are shut completely…

You don’t know how long it has passed, but you smell the aroma of grapes and firewood again. It is so close to you, and you can’t help but want to get closer, and closer... You feel like you have returned to Dragonspine, with Diluc is standing in front of you. Snowflakes are flying around, but it is not cold at all, it is warm, as if you two are the only light in the snow.

"Just…call me Diluc is fine."

You know you are dreaming, but his voice, and his eyes looking at you, are still so realistic and gentle. Your feelings flood out of your heart like a tide, and you can’t hold them back anymore—

It is very late.

Right after the clock strikes the third time, the door of the manor is opened and closed silently. The darknight hero rests wearily against the wall for a while, and then he slowly goes upstairs.

When Diluc enters the room, the first thing he sees is you, who is sleeping soundly against the bed while still holding the coat for dear life. He is startled, but then quietly comes to your side.

The redhead chuckles silently, observing your sleeping face lovingly. If ever you are awake, you would definitely suspect that the Diluc in front of you is a counterfeit as he would never make a face like this.

Diluc takes off his gloves, carefully pulls out the crumpled coat in your arms, then gently carries you and puts you into his own bed. You are asleep during the whole process, completely unaware of what is happening.

The moonlight shines through the gap in the curtains and falls on the two of you. Diluc, who is now supposed to take a shower and rest, sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at you without a word.

The Honorary Knight of the Knights of Favonius is now active in Liyue. Such a well-known fact can no longer be a part of his “intelligence network”.

He knows, as a traveler, you will never stop your journey until you reach the final destination and find your sibling. You will not stay in one place because of a person, an event, or a difficult task. Diluc himself had the same type of goal as you, and had traveled all over the seven nations alone, so he naturally understands your convictions and perseverance better than anyone else.

But it is precisely this kind of him, who has always been walking alone in the darkness, that he has unknowingly gotten used to and fell in love with the feeling of having you by his side. Only after you left Mondstadt, Diluc realized that even the most ordinary things, like seeing you around or saying goodbye to you, could make him miss you. Before being totally aware of the reason behind it, he had already started to take the initiative to obtain your information and your daily commissions.

Of course, that was very easy for him to do. But over time, this feeling of him, so called "missing you", gradually became a little more different than what he expected, and he couldn’t really tell what it is.

But it feels just like those few sporadic fire lights in the cold and heavy snow, which look so insignificant considering those random fire sources in the entire Dragonspine. However, the scorching heat those fire brought could not be ignored.

Because it is the heat that can make people alive. It is the warmth that he would love to approach and embrace. It is the light that he has been fighting to reach.

He wants to see you. He is going to see you.

Clouds are covering the moon. Diluc continues fixing his gaze on your face. His eyes are flickering slightly in the darkness. He can’t help but to get closer to you—

"…hm……"

Your suddenly let out a light hum. Diluc’s hand stops in mid-air instantly, fingertips are only half an inch away from your face, but you don’t seem to be bothered by anything and just move your body a bit, still asleep. Some vague syllables are coming out from your parted lips, but for some reason, it seemed like you are really trying to speak properly.

Diluc leans down to you, trying to hear your little sleep talks—

"...Diluc..."

Your voice is like a whisper, yet the pronunciation is so clear and accurate that it doesn't seem to be any kind of sleep talks.

Diluc’s eyes widen slightly, obviously in shock. He stares at you as if he is going to drill a hole on your face. He was not expecting you would say his name, and finally, without the title.

Meanwhile, clouds fades away in the exact right timing. Your cheeks are pink under the moonlight, but there is still no sign of you waking up.

......

"Yes."

Although Diluc knows you can’t hear him, he still responds in his most soft voice ever.

"Diluc..."

"Yes, I'm here."

His hand moves again. He strokes your cheek, eyes full of affection for you.

"......"

You unconsciously rub your chin against his skin, pressing your lips against his wrist.

"I…love you."

"......!"

Diluc looks at you in disbelief, feeling his whole body starts to tremble. Your warm breath sprayed on his skin reminds him that you did actually say that.

At this moment, all of his feelings in his heart are transformed into the same feeling that you have towards him. How silly of him kept telling himself that he was “missing you”, but it has been completely different since archon knows how long ago. The throbbing emotions in his chest seemed to have thawed the ice surrounds his heart, and that heat and love is spread all over his body.

"I love...Diluc..."

Your voice fades, and you fall into a deep sleep again after a while, but the redhead in front of you is surely not able to fall asleep today, in any case.

While attempting to control the heart that is about to jump out of his chest, Diluc kisses your forehead, this time, without any hesitation.

"Me too."

The moon is once again covered by clouds, but the light that can penetrate the coldness and illuminate the night will never disappear again.

The end.

——————————❄️———————————

「Snow Light」

—— Diluc Ragnvindr (CV: Kensho Ono)

Disclaimer: This translation is credited to this blog. I made adjustments based on my own understanding of the Japanese language, and I tried to make the lyrics sound more colloquial and complete.

The townscape of where you live is on the other side of the blurry window. It is flickering in seven colors. It is sparkling hazily.

Every time when I run in a hurry, chilled to the bone, I always want to hug you tightly.

Snow light, snow breath, snow flakes...

Right now, like that snow, my feelings towards you cannot be hidden.

They are falling and piling up for you, in a sparkling white.

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling is gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are just my Snow Light.

Where you are you right now? What are the scenery in your eyes?

I wish to know more. This is the first time I’m having this thought.

My monochrome world is being repainted by you. That is like a miracle.

Snow shade, snow drop, snow dome...

Even if like that snow being melted away right now, this feeling of me will never disappear.

I just want to tell you, I’m always missing you.

Imagine us sitting close together, bashfully, I'm ascertaining your existence with my hand, while we staring at each other with sincere eyes.

I won’t let you go, my heart won’t change. My feelings toward you are never enough.

It is falling and piling up non stop, you’re just my Snow Light.

Although I can’t shine as beautifully as you, if I could become your light, that alone would make me able to overcome everything.

No matter how long the night is, I will never let you feel cold.

Surely tomorrow there will be a silvery morning light. It will be dazzling, it will be lovely...

It is only to you whom I want to give warmth. I want to hold you more than anything else.

Imagine, us sitting close together, smiling, and I'm taking you by the hand…

I won’t let you go, I want to protect you. This brand new feeling gradually growing upon me.

You are purely white. You are my Snow Light

Forever, you are just my Snow Light.

Thank you for reading.

[genericpuff]

In your original post about Mongie finding success outside of WT, you mentioned something about Snailords in the tags? I haven't seen any criticism of them beyond just not being able to maintain interest in their own stories. Am I missing something?

Oh there's a looooot about Snailords. Most of the stuff that comes up tends to be over in /r/webtoons. The most recent controversy was regarding an alt account they had specifically to complain/talk shit/rant and they were caught talking shit about one negative comment (out of a sea of many positive ones) that wasn't even mean-spirited but he proceeded to spend several posts in his IG stories talking shit about it. He's also been known to treat his fans poorly for "not supporting him enough" and apparently he even tried to outright scam his audience out of money through fake sympathy. That's not even getting into how he treated his fans of Freaking Romance by going off about how he hated the romance genre and made FR purely for the clout and he basically ruined his own series out of spite over a decision he made.

I could sit here and go on and on but there are posts on reddit that cover it in far more detail than I can, so go check them out:

What's the deal with Snailords?

Snailord's Scam (Pt 1)

Snailord's Scam (Pt 2)

Snailords bashing what is probably a child (and his apology)

The biggest ick with him is just that he's cultivated an audience of very young people and children who pretty much worship the ground he walks on (literally calling him 'milord' 🤢) and he completely revels in it and takes advantage of it rather than being, y'know, a rational human being. Having fans who are younger isn't a big deal in and of itself, but he clearly likes to surround himself with people who just don't know any better and don't know how to recognize manipulative behavior. He's fully immersed himself in the self-worship especially through his self-insert character and it's uh... it's a lot. I've never even really been into his work tbh, I remember back when he was still on Tapas writing Snailed It and Nightmare Factory and he never seemed to be that shitty (though tbf he wasn't as big back then either), but he definitely became pretty obnoxious in his WT years.

[sotwk]

Writers Truth or Dare Ask Game - SotWK Answers

Link to game is HERE,

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

I was in 4th grade and my friends and I really wanted to date the Backstreet Boys. We discovered fanfiction was the most fun way to do it. We would write our lil’ self-insert love stories in notebooks that we would pass around and share. 

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

Pumped Up Pop. I’m a 90s kid and Pop runs deep in me. 

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don’t think anything can be considered weird for a writer doing research anymore. But one thing I remember working extra hard on was researching how to pilot a jet for a Marvel action fic. That’s why I admire and commiserate with @scyllas-revenge for her helicopter piloting scene in BLCI. 

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

Mix of both. Reader Inserts to make others happy, OC fics to make myself happy. 

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I would write an entire essay explaining this one, but in the SotWK AU, Elvenking Thranduil and Elvenqueen Maereth are metaphorical avatars for the Valar couple Oromë and Vána, and were destined to be such (as they were destined for each other). The qualities they each possess which make them similar to these Valar--Thranduil's strength and skill as a protector/warrior and Maereth's gifts for nurturing and fertility--are what safeguard and sustain Eryn Galen for thousands of years, holding their people fast even against Sauron.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 

@talesfuzzy is constantly on my notifs since she likes so many of my posts on a daily basis. She also reblogs some of the best Tolkien content, which I often put into my own queue. We don't really talk, but she's like that friendly person you see on your daily commute whose name you might not know but you smile and nod to each other till they've become a comfortingly reliable part of daily life.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I would LOVE a thrilling action fic where Thranduil and all five Thranduilion Princes march into battle at the same time and completely crush the enemy because there is possibly no greater or more fearsome fighting team left in Middle-earth. However, such a plot would violate my own AU’s headcanon, because in Thranduil’s family, there is a hard rule that the Thranduilions can never all be fighting in the same battle at once; Thranduil simply refuses to risk his family that way. 

I would hire/nominate/beg @ass-deep-in-demons to write it. If you’ve read her fic, “Under Our Darkening Skies”, you’ll know she’s the top pick for incredible and cinematic battle scenes. 

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

I find myself reusing a lot of the same lines and expressions, especially when describing character emotions and actions. Sometimes I feel my writing is pedestrian and boring, especially compared to many other writers in the Tolkien fandom who have such eloquent, sophisticated styles and brilliant, creative word choices. I'm quite soppy and sentimental too, but that's just my thing. 

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

Sadly, I have not had a pet since my early 20s. I had plenty of them growing up, though, including my beloved yellow Lab. Once my kids are old enough to share in pet care duties, we are definitely getting a dog. 

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

Talk to me about my Thranduilion Princes, pretty please! (There are many easy ways to be Moots with me, but this is a guarantee and the fastest way!)

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

I am lucky and grateful to have a solid band of supporters, but I want to grab this chance to send a special shout out to @achromaticerebus. She has been a big supporter of my Thranduilion Princes since she discovered them early on, she comments on ALL my Thranduil/Thranduilion stories, she gushes about them to me and with me, and her enthusiasm just keeps me motivated. She is not herself a writer, and it's so rare to find a friend so willing to just be a reader and supporter, when there's really no way to “pay back” her kindness.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Point out even just one specific detail or line of dialogue and tell me how it made you feel, your thoughts about it, or even ask a follow up question! I am most impressed when a Reader points out an Easter egg or interesting tidbit/headcanon/lore I included. I am over the moon when their comments show they are familiar with my other fics or my SotWK AU as a whole… it means they've really invested in my stuff.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

I enjoy being wholly surprised (good surprises, of course), but I don't like being told “a surprise is coming” and having to then think about it or stress out until its arrival. 

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

A work-related reminder, which is boring. So I'm gonna answer this question by sharing something I wrote in my “Scratch Dump” document that I use for my headcanon drafting: Inscribed on the blade of the sword was Mirion’s personal oath to his people, written in Silvan: “Until my last breath, I will serve.”

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

It’s probably because I’m fairly new to it (and because I enjoy the song/video), but the concept of internet friends Rickrolling each other as a prank seems so funny and wholesome to me.  

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

I made a separate post answering this HERE.

Thank you to all my awesome friends who jumped in to send me these Asks! This was fun and made me feel good about myself as a writer. Love you guys! 

@lady-of-imladris @erathene @unethicallypleistocene @fishing4stars @Hobbitwrangler @quillofspirit @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @niennawept @malzenn @melpomaenofimladris and that one Anon friend!

[alpydk]

Writing Interview Tag Game!

You said it was open tag @dr-demi-bee so yoink!

When did you start writing?

I've always written since I was a kid. I remember writing a self insert Jonny Quest fic of about 100 words when I was really young. Couldn't tell you what happened it in but I know I kept it hidden because there was kissing involved.

Then I remember being about 11 and writing a fic of a girl who lived with her two step parents (Guess whose parents hadn't got divorced by that point so they didn't understand how that worked). There was so much angst and TV soap drama I got asked if everything was okay at home. But serious writing wasn't under Feb this year with the BG3 obsession. I don't have a fancy literature degree; I don't have analysis skills of Shakespeare and other fancy authors. I'm just a muppet with a keyboard.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I love reading sci-fi, especially if its dystopian, Children of Men is one of my favourite books, as are a lot of works by Philip K. Dick, but I've never tried writing sci-fi before and don't really plan to. I also enjoy reading some smut (within reason) but really dislike writing it. I will happily give you a nondescript non/con fic over an explicit love fucking. I've done it, you've all seen it and some even liked it, but my smut writing days are very much on hold right now.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I've never been compared to anyone else. Do we normally get compared, is that a thing? I'm curious who I would be compared to now... As for emulation, I don't really want to. My writing is my own, and it conveys who I am as a person. If I were emulating someone else, would I not just be a cheap copy of them? (Possibly I'm seeing emulation in the wrong terms, blame the illiteracy)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

This is it currently. Basic I know, but I'm not one for clutter on my desk otherwise I get distracted easily. I share the room with my kid who has her PC next to me, normally playing Minecraft or nattering away, so I get pulled away plenty. The troll has been with me since 2005 and sat on my desk in various offices across the UK and Ireland, now helping me to write with its words of wisdom. (It doesn't really but maybe I can claim it's a beta reader or something.)

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Spite! Yes, I know this sounds insane and petty and all the other negative words but fucking hell is spite one hell of a muse. One of my fics I wrote very long ago was based of a fanfic I read that just got under my skin. The subject had been taken and turned into this fluffy, romance thing and I was so fucking bitter and annoyed at how little the person had clearly researched into the topic. I went and wrote my fic including the reality of it all and it felt so cathartic to do so. (This is not the way to write fics, I'm just a terrible person) Otherwise, walking, daydreaming, regular tropes you like. Browsing the tags on Ao3 and seeing what strikes your fancy. That's where the hate sex fic came from.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Control is a big theme that I find creeps in. Whether it be Gale and smut and his self control, or the non/con fics that seem to slip in. Then there is Nana and her past, and the PPD fic, and of course the S/H fic. Yeah control is the big one. Does it surpise me? Not Really. Control is a topic I've tried to explain many a time to a therapist only to be misunderstood so I think I use my writing a lot to get my thoughts on it out into the open.

What is your reason for writing?

More productive daydreaming. If I could lie in a room all day or walk around in a daydream I would, but unfortunatly the world seems to be insisting that I embrace reality, and so writing is the compromise. I also genuinely do enjoy it but could not explain to you why.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Motivating? I'm not sure... I like comments, I like validation like anyone else but they fill that void, they don't necessarily motivate me. When I finished my bachelor paper we had to do an oral exam to back it up, and the exam censor was a professor of literature. Her feedback to my writing was that it was easy to understand and a pleasure to read. That comment stuck with me and has definitely motivated me to stick with my style. I don't like gatekeeping behind faux intellect. So possibly that comment?

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I AM A GOD! I don't know really. I guess just being thought about in general is enough. I've always been sort of out of sight, out of mind in life. Like Gale, I've always believed myself to be very much 'if I'm not needed then I'm not wanted' - So just being remembered is enough. (Gods, that sounds so fucking sad now that I think about it.)

Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Hopefully it's just ease of understanding. Like I know we all want these literary masterpieces that will change the world or provide some sort of beauty that bring people to tears, but I just want to tell stories and make people feel stuff other than confusion. And I like to think I manage that. So yeah, that's my strength.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Hmmm.... I am my own worst critic in every single aspect of my life. It will never been good enough (see how I've got Gale's angst down so well???). I like my writing, I like flow and repetition. I like how it covers topics I want to read about and isn't just being produced to be produced like I've seen some bigger writers do (they're not on Tumblr, don't worry before you all start wondering 'is it me?'.) And I like how it's not all the same stuff. I have quite a lot of variety of varying standards. Some I really like, others I sigh at and wonder how I'd do them differently.

---- Anyway, do I tag this for others or open tag it again. I just like talking and am trying to distract myself from the inevitable chapter I need to write today.

[fromfiction]

(excuse the slight lengthiness of this ask pls 😭)

um hello! i’ve seen you answering questions on this blog, so i hope you can answer this one! /nf

i’m entirely new to the term and idea of “fictionkin” but ever since i found out about what fickin was and what it meant, i figured it might be me but i couldn’t be 100% sure because of a smaller thing.

for a bit more context which i feel may be important: i pretty much spent all my life mentally viewing myself as literally animated, as animated medias have always been a special interest since i was little (i’m now diagnosed w/ autism which is why i used that term btw). though i never truly viewed myself as any canon character, i always viewed myself as my self insert sonas growing up, my finest examples of this through the years would be self insert sonas of mlp and eddsworld. nowadays, as my main special interest is my own work (as a writer and artist) i mentally view myself as my persona, i always have during these current years and i believe i always will, to the point where i don’t even associate myself with my body or face physically bc i’ve always viewed myself as some sort of fictional version of myself and in my mind that’s how i look to myself. to put this in terms of an example, i once told someone that my physical body is like a car because i like to decorate it and make it look nice and i use it to get around in this world, but my persona is the driver because in my mind, that’s who i am and i’m simply using this “car” to get around (remember this is an example i don’t literally think my body is a car lmao)

but yea, the reason i’m very confused is because i always see fictionkins identifying as canonical characters from a media, or ig even self inserts as i’ve heard somewhere (correct me if i’m wrong) but i never hear about people identifying as their OWN characters if this makes sense. in my mind, a fictional character is a fictional character, which would include my persona that is very much fictional in every way (atp my persona is a developed character with fictional lore, other worldly traits (like magic), and is always a part of little scenarios or short stories i make up for comfort or outta boredom, just happens to resemble me irl in most ways but is basically how i view myself mentally down from personality to clothes that i really connect with but don’t really wear irl)

but anyway yes, i’ve tried and tried to research for anything that might be similar to my case but i don’t really find much at all.

i hope this ask was okay to send, ik it might be lengthy ik you weren’t asking for my “life story” it’s just that i’ve always wondered what was wrong with me in terms of this topic and why i viewed myself as being a fictional character, and now that i feel closer to a possible answer it’s very relieving but still confusing since i don’t know if the label really fits what i go through. i can’t help but wonder if it’s also maladaptive daydreaming or multiple things/something else but i prob can’t expect much advice or help w that on this blog which is perfectly okay lmao

again, if you read this or even answer this, thank you i’ve really needed to ask this desperate question to someone who seems to know a lot about this subject for possible help so i came here bc i saw that this blog was active for the most part! i’m also sorry if i asked things that weren’t okay to ask or have said/assumed things that weren’t okay either, again i’m very new to fictionkin as a whole.

have a great day and thank you <3

Hey friend. No worry about asking!

It sounds like you're asking if you can be fictionkin of an "original character".

The answer is absolutely. There are plenty of people who are kin of their own ocs, you just don't usually see them talking about it, mostly because their posts don't end up in fandom tags.

[nualaofthefaerie]

Hello!! I come with questions for Madame Nuala President 🎤✨??

So I can see how Sandflower could be established since it has a solid foundation on canon BUT what about Immortalflower? Or Immortal Sandflower? ( hope I’m not mixing ships names! I mean Hob x Nuala x Dream)

Do you have any Headcanons as to how those ships come to be? I would be interested in knowing more about them!

Thank you 🖤

You are so not mixing them, dear. It is ImmortalSandFlower, ISF for short.

We have come to it! The idiots at the end of the road. My creme de la creme of polycules.

Okay, so before Miss Madam President gets too excited, this post will be structured in the following way *puts my big girl glasses on*:

Why do I think ISF works so much more for me than any other trio?

My personal headcanons for them

Note to the people: I too have some Dreamling inclinations, I just love WOMEN damn it. Also, she is not my self-insert (that too has been in my inbox). I too want to be a man who is not an idiot and WILL LOVE miss Nuala like she has never been loved before. She is my wife, my girlfriend, my muse. I have no interest in those men. I am in love with her. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

ALRIGHT! It's all under the flower line so I don't do the thing where I clog the tag.

Why ISF works so much more for me than any other trio?

In the short of it - they have such compatible personalities. It's insane. I have a picture I send to my friends every time I try to explain Morpheus - Hob - Nuala.

This is how they exist in my head. When they are in couples, their dynamics LARGELY differ, but together, they share the emotional burden of each other - Moon/Star/Sun dynamic. Morpheus is the tired moon, Hob is the bright star, and Nuala is the warm sun, and together they make the whole sky.

It's a very warm triangle, and to me, they are a real love triangle because each loves the other and they stand alone as couples. When they are a polycule, their power dynamics also equal out if that makes sense. Morpheus does not necessarily hold more power over them anymore, so I like that about it as well.

To illustrate their couple dynamics better, I will give examples. I love to give these examples so people see how versatile they are. (happy screaming).

Dreamling

I will not go into details, but my quintessential Dreamling is 1789 Dreamling.

I think this is the era that really summarizes their dynamic quite well - Morpheus doesn't really force himself on Robert but still holds a considerable amount of power that could equate to him having influence over Robert's life decisions. Robert on the other hand is also very independent, he respects Morpheus, but is not afraid of him anymore. So I enjoy 1789 Dreamling a lot.

2. Sandflower

I won't use the comics to explain what is THE Sandflower dynamic because the real summarized Sandflower dynamic is them:

I can swear this on my soul, when Nuala and Morpheus begin to act like Elizabeth and Darcy in the show, remember, you heard it here first. Their opposite views on the world, their stubborness, the way he treats her in canon as if she is no more but a mere inconvinience but in reality he constantly does things to protect her, is very Darcy and Elizabeth of them. And as I have always said, Nuala has always stood her ground and protected who she is and where she came from.

3. Immortalflower

There is one perfect media that encapsulates Hob x Nuala's relationship SO good that there is no reason to explain further to people because they usually get it from the get go.

THEM. Hob and Nuala have THEE Eugene and Rapunzel dynamic. Consider the fact Nuala has never been to the Waking world, she knows nothing about it and Hob is this Immortal man that has been to every corner of the planet already. Her enthusiasm about everything she doesn't know about sparks back his love of everything he does know. So they are very gentle, loving, fluffy, a bit silly, goofy.

Separated, each couple can stand on its own and be entertaining and complex, while being something completely new and interesting when together, which is VERY rare to me. So they compel me TERRIBLY.

ONTO HEADCANNONS

I have DOMESTIC headcannons the most. If anyone wants spicy HC, you'll have to ask separately. But just so we know, we do offer the Spicy version of the menu.

SO! This is based on the concept of Retired!Morpheus:

The three of them live together in the inn

Morpheus is either a children's book author or a librarian

Hob owns the Inn and does his little Professor gig to the side

Nuala transforms a part of the Inn into a beautiful patissiere, full of pink mugs and live plants and fresh bread, pasteries and wonderful unique blends of teas she learned from her fairy home

They play a board game together once a week

Read together on the couch every night

Saturdays are for movies (Nuala adores animation and Morpheus doesn't understand the appeal of cinema entirely)

When they do go on dates, they usually let Nuala pick where she wants to go because it's her enthusiasm about seeing something new that is more precious to the good old Dreamling who has seen all there is to see from Earth than being on a date per se

Hob cooks, always

Morpheus is a wine mom

Nuala runs around the kitchen to entertain more than to help at any capacity, but she has a talent for vegeterian dishes, but Hob is not a big fan, but they compromise, they compromise

Each of them kind of has their own room, but also they always end up sleeping together in someone else's room.

My hc are all primarily domestic, or maybe my mood is like that right now.

I will now do something very shameless and admit I have already written an ISF one-shot. It's called "Set Me Free" and it's a Sea AU - Dreamling Pirates and Mermaid Nuala. It's one of my favourite things I have written and it's quite fun short story!

I hope my answer was interesting! If there is any other questions, inquires or suggestions or thoughts, my Asks and DMs are always open!

Love,

Li 🪷

[paranorahjones]

I was tagged by @dangerously-human like a month ago I'm so sorry for a fanfic writer tag game, and I finally remembered that I never actually did it!! I'm so bad at these things

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction? I was like 13 I think and I had become a rabid fan of the 2012 TMNT series, and I filled a brightly colored notebook with self-insert TMNT fanfic. 😂 What's funny is that at this time, I didn't even know that the concept of fanfiction existed, and that it was something other people wrote as well. Because I had very little online presence at the time (thank God), so I had no exposure to fanfiction in general. I just thought, "Okay I know this is totally crazy but what I put myself in this story and I was a teenage mutant ninja black panther and Leo was in love with me." I was truly a revolutionary. I didn't discover the massive presence of fanfiction online until about three years later I think, and that was when I started reading Gravity Falls and Miraculous Ladybug fanfics on fanfiction dot net.

2. How many fandoms have you written in? Good question. I haven't published everything for every fandom that I've written in, so some of these just exist in a locked vault inside my brain or in a long abandoned OpenOffice document. Or in a brightly colored houndstooth-patterned notebook. TMNT, Star Wars, Gravity Falls, How To Train Your Dragon, Carmen Sandiego, Stranger Things, Detroit: Become Human, Lockwood & Co., Legends of Avantris, Red Dead Redemption. I feel like there's probably more than that but I can't remember. The ones in green are the ones that I have actually published fic for, though a lot of the older ones have been deleted.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction? This is difficult because I haven't been writing fanfiction consistently for very many years at all, but I started writing fanfic like 10 years ago. Somewhat consistently? Like two years. 😂

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction? Very much depends on where I'm at in life and what media I'm currently fixated on, but for a while I've been writing way more than I've been reading. I go through phases of both.

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer? I think my pacing is a lot better than it used to be. I think I've gotten better at rereading what I've written and recognizing where the pacing is off. I often don't have an easy time of fixing it yet, because it's such an odd and abstract concept to nail down, but you can see it when it's wrong. Something I've tried to be very intentional about of late.

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? The legal repercussions of assaulting a police officer in Michigan. That was for the Detroit: Become Human fic. 😂

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work? I LOVE when people pick up on my foreshadowing and start theorizing on various story elements that I haven't revealed yet. That basically only happens with And I Would Stay A While Longer because it's the only one of my fics with a significant amount of intrigue, but it makes me so happy seeing those comments. I love knowing that I've foreshadowed something effectively.

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about? Hmmmmmm . . . is it fringe to write fanfic for a dnd campaign? That's probably the closest thing I have to fringe honestly. And as for fringe tropes, I'm not really sure that my fanfics feature many. My original work, on the other hand . . .

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write? Stories with large casts, where I have to keep track of a lot of characters. That's exhausting. I don't like it. 😂 I like my stories very intimate. My writing is very character-focused rather than plot-focused, and I like to reserve that focus to as few characters as possible. One of my original works only features two characters throughout the entire story and that's it.

10. What is the easiest type? Intimate, fluffy oneshots. Emotional fulfillment fics. Unsurprisingly.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? Back in the day I started out with OpenOffice, then I jumped to Google Docs, then I jumped to Microsoft Word, and that's where I'm at right now. I own Scrivener and I very much want to use it but it intimidates me and I am so bad at learning new software/word processors. 😭

12. What is something that you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day? The rest of AIWS 🤣 No but seriously, funny story, I had plans for YEARS to write my own version of Haymitch's Games from The Hunger Games because Haymitch is my favorite character and I was desperate for more of his story, so I compiled a whole document of everything we learned about the 50th Quarter Quell and Haymitch and his family/friends, and that document sat untouched for so long because I was too intimidated to try to write the story . . . and then of course the news came out that Suzanne Collins herself is writing it. And I couldn't be happier. 😂

13. What made you choose your username? My AO3 username is Fox_Autumn. I nicknamed myself after Fox Mulder, and I needed another word to stick on the end of that to make it a valid username. I love autumn, and I thought it sounded pretty so there ya have it.

These were super duper fun!! Thank you so much for the tag!! :DDD 💙💙💙

Tagging with absolutely no pressure: @womaninwinter @nomolosk @argentumcor @krash-8 @celestial-citrus

[dandyshucks]

Dandy/Juno/etc || 23 || they/it || Métis

hiya hello!! welcome to my silly little blog where I have a little silly fun rbing/talking about F/Os!! F/O list is under the cut way down there ⤵

I'm totally fine with sharing F/Os except for Guzma (if you tag all your posts abt him then you're a-okay to follow, I'll just block that specific tag)!

if you need to block me please just hardblock me - I have several disorders that affect my memory so if you softblock me I will likely just end up following again and I'd hate to be a pest that way!! no hard feelings, do what you gotta do!!

🔞 there might be (very rare) occasional suggestive posts, but those will be tagged accordingly for easy blacklisting! anything Actually nsfw will be over at my 18+ only sideblog @scandydandyshucks ! 🔞

I upload my selfship fics to AO3 now!

I also have a carrd with more info about me and this blog! And I have a neocities where I'm having a lot of fun creating my own site that's mainly dedicated to Guzma :3

📰 for posts about the ongoing genocide happening, please go to @piplupod my general account. please donate to gazafunds.com if you have the means!

🚫 People who ship pedophilic or incestual pairings and people who write/draw(/otherwise create) porn of children will be blocked, I have zero tolerance for any of that ! Also, the "fiction doesn't affect reality" crowd is strictly NOT welcome here ! 🚫

If you ever see me reblog from someone nasty, please let me know so I can go investigate and deal with it! ∑ദ്ദി˙◡･)

If you need anything tagged, feel free to ask - even with the memory issues, I'm usually pretty good at remembering to tag for things when asked directly ^-^

F/O list under the cut !!

F/O list:

Main F/O:

Guzma (pokemon) (tag: "💜so good at being in trouble", ship tag: "💜a boy and his bug🪲")

Other F/Os (from most active to least):

Wardell Hurst (OC) (tag: "🕯the warmth of your doorways")

Shota and Hizashi (bnha) (tags: "🖤napping in class" and "🧡hello radio land!", ship tag: "🖤one lucky listener🧡")

Rum Tum Tugger and Mistoffelees (cats the musical) (tags: "🌟only like what I find for myself" and "✨never was there a cat so clever")

Theodor and Philby (OCs) (tags: "🚪theodor" and "☎philby" and "🚪take me home☎")

Marc, Steven, Jake (moonknight) (tags: "🤍whatever it takes", "🤎float like a butterfly sting like a bee", "🩶the man in the rearview mirror", ship tag: "🌙systems overlapping🪲")

Sun and Moon (fnaf) (QPR?) (tags: "💛lights on!" and "💙nightlight")

CRUSHES:

Bart (Bartine) Curlish from DGHDA (tag: "🪚inmate qt 3.14")

Shane from SDV (tag TBA)

Senshi from dunmeshi (tag TBA)

Laios from dunmeshi ??? maybe ???? (tag TBA)

~

self insert tags:

pokemon: junebug🪲

cats: tickitywick⚙️

DL worldbuild: dandy🌻

~

general F/O posts are tagged with 💗

op tag: "dandy.cmd"

art tag: "doodlebug.png"

writing tag: "dandy.doc"

WIP tag: "doodlebug.jpeg"

vent tag: "vent //"

[toadstool32]

darlingpost darling post get out while u still can

this is my ososan self insert darling! not their real name they get named a la homestuck aka they need a name and so thats what we call this guy

visual arts student in their last year, no gender unless its funny, always wear comfy or flowy clothes that hide the chest (SHRODINGERS BOOBS?? ((they r flat theyre like a ken doll, )))

le ref sheet

IN MY HEAD darling was like photocopying some doujin pages they were working on (for fun) at some store bc their printer broke or wathevs and then fucked up and suddenlly all the papers are scattered everywhere!!! noooo the gay porn!!! and karamatsu is like oh hang on let me help u with those my good sir (darling is dressed like a mess here) and darling is so fucking embarrassed but still goes like ummm thank uuu??? and karamatsu is like of course! no need to thank me!! karmatsu matsuno!!!<introduces himself here and darling is like waaaa he so nice and doesnt think im a freak for LITERALLY PRINTING GAY PORN IN PUBLIC WHAT THE FUCK anyway they do small talk with like ah yes great work here get home safe dont lose those papers again yes sir yes sir!!

karamatsu goes on with his life but darling is like waaa he was so nice i wanna be friends or something but idk if i will everrr find him again siiighhh. buut like one week later darling is all dressed up on theyr way to the city museum bc they help out there for school credit (is that a thing in japan idk this is me playing with dolls) but still have some time to kill to get there and on the way they see karamatsu in the distance and darling is like oh! i can say hi!! so they go but bc they r dressed more cutesy now karamatsu immediately starts doing his bit before darling even says hi hes like: "AH YES OUR FATED MEETING WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!! YES IVE BEEN SEEING U IN MY DREAMS AND MAY IT BE FATE THAT HAS BROUGHT U TOGETHER¿ RIGHT NOW MY **DARLING**!!" or something like that and darling is an idiot so they go "OMG HE REMEMBERS ME FROM LAST TIME! AND HE WANTS ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY!! OR SOMETHING IM NOT SURE WHATS HE TALKING ABOUT!" point is darling doesn't ask for his name cause they already know it and karamatsu quite literally just names them darling and then they go on a not date to the museum cause i say so

dont get me wrong i ship them but also theyre both so fail at this bc darling is an airhead and karamatsu is....karamatsu

they would be the kind of ship that starts dating without knowing which i find funny bc karamatsu would make a big deal out of asking darling out and darling would be like oh as a friend right and would miss every romance cue ever but then when darling would be like hey are we dating and karamatsuu would be like *dies from both exasperation and relief* and then darling would be too concerned about getting him to the hospital and forgets about the dating part im hjust having fun here

darling tag with silly stuff

ANYWAY darlin n karamatsu are besties darling likes hearing him talk bc its funny and they compliment him on his spakly stuff n music even tho darling knows shit abt music and karamatsu hangs around trying to cheerlead darling on stuff and darling does the same, idiot to idiot communication,

ALSO darling cant see very well n they make a very goofy lights r on nobodys home face whenever they dont wear their glasses and confuse the matsus constantly at the start probably lol,

like after hanging out a bit darling probably sees totty in the city and they go OMGG KARAMACHAN U DIDNT TELL ME U WERE GOnna be in the city we could hang out and ur dressed in pink if i wore my pink cardigan we could maaatch and then realizes, they fucked up and totty is like KARAMACCHAN WHO, but totty was like, with friends and the girls are like omg totty who is this and darling is like TOTTY WHO, and his friends rope darling into hanging out bc darling straight up glomped totty there and they r never living that down ever.

and then todomatsu confronts karamatsu like DO YOU KNOW THIS GIRL and karamatsu is like ah thats darling and totty is like DIE?? anyway they get along fine n totty calls them dari-chan i think darling also gets along with osomatsu darling draws him silly stuff on request n sometimes tries to play with jyushimatsu (dies) ichi probs thinks darling has something wrong in the head to hang out w karamatsu (they do) and choromatsu is like perpetually confused, no one uses the same set of pronouns for darling which creates confusion at the start

darling is technically a nickname (and an overly cutesy one too!) so darling gets named that way by karamatsu at the start so they go oh i guess we r besties for life now and so they go like ok so i need a cutesy nickname for him so they do that and with totty darling fucks up introducing themself to him so they end up being dari-chan to him as a way to make an even more cutesy name out of an already cute nickname i just think thats funny

uuu what else what else, picky eater of the eats meat variety, short, cant see, tummy hurts, lightweight but doesnt care, this is literally me bro, this post is already so fucking long idk what else more, im just playing with dolls man