#i LOVE moments in oblivion where the story tells you you are not the most important character

[potatoesandsunshine]

sorry everyone but to me the dark brotherhood is like a weird sitcom family you join midway through their third season. they've all already got established dynamics and relationships and my character is walking in to add a little extra drama to an already-moving plot. we don't even get to the friends stage before whatever climactic awful thing (usually me) happens to them

[aylinvail]

Tanna Talk: This Week in the Rogue Trader (Video Game) AO3 fandom (March 24- 30 2024)

"Oh, yes, a dance was never just a dance. It was also a display of the soul. It was love, and war, and didn’t they say that all was fair in love and war ?" - Tapestry of Fate, Ch. 34.

Lots of new plot bunnies this week in the trenches. Anyway, this is user aylinvail reporting to you live over vox caster from the Starseeker Bridge.

Cool new fics

Maybe the fic did something new. Maybe it innovated. Maybe it's an entirely new concept we haven't seen yet. A non-comprehensive list.

Two sides of the same Aquila - An AU where the Warrant of Trade is held by two most incompatible individuals in the Koronus Expanse. A series of pivotal moments of their relationship where they need to learn to share the power, space and an Interrogator in order to make it out alive. BOY THAT IS FRESH @vitanithepure.

Eliminate - A fic about Epitaph and Calcazar telling Heinrix to kill you. Told in 500 brilliant bittersweet words. @pycnolite's masterclass in how to keep it short and sweet.

Omega von Valancius - OMG @pallysuune has finally brought us the first A/B/O RT fic. As an omega, Violet von Valancius wasn't fit to be the Rogue Trader, and everyone around her seemed to know it too. But no one was more vocal about it than her so-called-peer. Can her actions ever earn his respect, or will she forever be lesser in his eyes?

The First Engagement - I know, I know, but listen. Have you seen a Lord Captain Heinrix x Interrogator RT yet? No. Fits here. Anyway, if you wanted to see what Heinrix is like as a jackass who "summers" in Janus, here ya go.

Who updated?

Here are the longfics that updated this week.

Starseeker - Heinrix/RT intrigue rewrite of game events with Kunrad-related canon divergence. And a shoujo romance.

gossamer of starlight - RT/Yrliet. Yrliet watches her elantach's dynasty fall apart in slow motion. Non chronological.

Predator & Prey - RT/Marazhai. Aurelia von Valancius has a secret. Marazhai Aezyrraesh has a craving. They're perfectly matched opposites, so long as as they can overcome their differences.

Theatre of Hearts - RT/Nocturne of Oblivion arranged marriage. And from what I hear, getting really cultural difference-flavor of interesting.

Much ado about the Lord Captain - A Comedy of Terrors - RT/Heinrix. A retelling of Rogue Trader with tons of pining. A forest of pine trees. And smut.

Immortalium - RT/Heinrix. NEW! From @cawyden-gaming. The story follows Venria von Valancius on her journey of coming to terms with her past and present.

Iron Maidens - Multiship. An Iron Widow x Rogue Trader crossover.

Omnissiah Forgive Me - RT/Pasqal. Pasqal Haneumann owes his life to the Lord Captain, Kassard. When he joined the Lord Captain's retinue, Pasqal found he had got more than he had bargained for. For the Lord Captain was enough for Pasqal's faith to be shaken to its core.

My Knight So Daring - An Imperial Knight!Heinrix x noble!RogueTrader arranged marriage AU. And from what I hear, getting really hot.

Into Temptation - RT/Marazhai/Heinrix. Former Ministorum Priest now Rogue Trader Cassius Von Valancius must contend with his heretical desires for Marazhai. Matters become even more complicated as his feelings for Heinrix Van Calox deepen.

Edge of Daybreak Unbroken - RT/Heinrix. Heretic Rogue Trader gets brought back to the start of the game. Time travel shenanigans ensue.

Once we were - RT/Heinrix. A story following the events of the game, in which Imogene von Valancius allied her dynasty with Xavier Calcazar and brought peace and prosperity to the Koronus Expanse. But neither last long, and the line between hero and heretic is always blurred.

Domino Effect - Multi. Betrayal is terrible. It never comes from one's foes. But instead from those closest. It comes from a place of safety. Of love.

Addendums

they go here. for in case there are late night updates. im out of spoons bros.

[orkbutch]

your nun au. i like it very much. if you don't mind, can you tell me more about it? like what is shadowheart's story? what is up with lae'zel? why is karlach so cute?

Absolutely, I am very eager to talk about it! This is gonna be long tho haha. tw for addiction and self-harm

Shadowheart grew up in a relatively normal, casually Catholic family, but shes always had shit going on. Clinically depressed, and she definitely has a personality disorder, probs BPD, defs not diagnosed because its the 90's and shes masking HEAVY. Even as a kid she was pretty into catholicism though, and liked Christ and his weird more-than-human self sacrificial vibes.

At 13 while in boarding school she got lured into a cult (where she was given her name). This was a mix of older girls and a few much older people outside the boarding school, all women. They were a political cult of feminist seperatists, but also had a layer of idiosyncratic spiritualism originating entirely from the cult leader Shar (real name Sharon). Edgy stuff about darkness, the night, pain and sacrifice being good. But in particular there was a focus on pursuing oblivion, and that resulted in Shadowheart doing some very destructive substances at a very young age, and learning how effective numbness was when coping with being a depressed teenager with BPD. She realised she was a lesbian while in this group, and that wasn't great because Shar was Not chill about that at all. These were radical second wave feminists that considered sex inherently reproductive of patriarchal power dynamics, and the cult was firmly asexual; lesbians were considered gender traitors and particularly looked down on. (Transgender people were not even acknowledged; truly old school r*dfems.) Her attraction to women is what made her question things most throughout her time there, but she was very young and impressionable; she wouldn't start to really firmly question things until she was 16.

She was, through all of this, a big fan of Christ; in fact some of the cult's ideology kinda deepend her concept of Christ and martyrdom, which she admired greatly. Self sacrifice was The Ultimate Virtue to her; a loving masochism, which really spoke to her (and her self-harming tendencies).

She escaped at 17 and didn't return home; she immediately became a novitiate within an Irish-Catholic cloister. This would have been in the early 80's. She dove head first into being a dedicated cloistered nun; it wasn't that different from her time in Shar's group except a lot more sober. When she took her vows and became a full fledged nun, she descended further into worship and over her 10 years there, she became more and more... Medieval with it.

This was a Problem, because this was the late 80's moving into the early 90's in the UK - not only was Vatican II well and truly instilled in the practices of all cloisters, but feminism had been kicking around for a while now and had only gotten more popular. Nuns being hidden away from the world, participating in shame circles and self flagellating was well and truly Over and were banned practices. But Shadowheart researched older methods of worship from deeply devoted cloistered nuns and dove in, because they felt meaningful, helped her cope and they made her feel special to Christ.

Something that had a big impact on her was her duties as a volunteer nun overlapping with the AIDS crisis. She found that she had to consistently fight her sisters and abbess to be allowed to assist people with HIV. This forced her to contend with her queerness, the morality of her relationship to other gay people. That prompted her to start exploring lesbianism and queer community secretly, which tempered her obsessive cloistered nun tendencies; she still self flagellated and prized self sacrifice, but her shame was being challenged, and she had felt how much she wanted diverse, queer community.

Her and Lae'zel started hooking up when she was 25; it started as moments of desperate desire for relief and comfort, but became a little more than that as time went on. (It fucked with Lae'zel A Lot.) Shadowheart was finally kicked out at 27 when not only was she caught with another nun (not Lae'zel), the extent of her self-harm was seen on her body. She became too much of a liability for the cloister. Very soon after that, Karlach appeared in her apartment.

I'll expand on Lae'zel in a reblog >:)

[herearedragons]

Cold Water (chapter 4: Anthu: The End - Part 2)

AO3 | chapter 1

Spoiler warning: spoilers for The White March.

What do you say when you meet your god?

Like most folks, Edèr had never heard Eothas speak - and now he never would. It would be a lie to say he never imagined it, though, both before and after the Godhammer. Sometimes, the conversation was crystal clear in his mind; sometimes it was fuzzy around the edges.

Sometimes it felt right. Sometimes it felt a little too close to blasphemy.

Selene met her god while standing right next to the split skull of another, less than an hour after everything that happened with the Low Tide. 

They had just left Kaoto and his friends in the dust - hurt, but not dead; Selene insisted - and finished climbing all those flights of ice-slick stairs in the freezing wind, stopping just short of that enormous skull with its right eye socket blown clear off.

Selene went to look at it.

One moment, everything was fine, and the next, everything went cold and dark. They weren’t really underwater - at least Edèr didn’t think so - but it definitely felt like it: no way to tell where’s up and where’s down, no way to really move, and way-too-big shadows drifting by.

Ondra’s voice felt like pressure in your ears and water filling your lungs; just hearing her speak made you want to gasp for air, even though you were breathing just fine a second ago.

Deceitful wretch!

Grave robber!

You, who dig for that which you did not bury, speak!

Explain yourself and be judged.

From where he was standing (floating?), he couldn’t see Selene’s face; just hear her voice, muffled, as if he was hearing her from behind a wall - or from underwater.

She said:

“...I do what I must to survive.”

Her voice was steady; steadier than his own would have been in the same situation. She’d made up her mind.

The current around them stirred. Down below (or up above?), a shadow began floating closer; something immense coming to take a better look at them all.

Selene’s hair was floating around her head, the glow muted.

And Ondra said:

You.

You were supposed to be gone thirty-five years ago.

Thrice have you stolen from me, and now you come to steal

A   G   A   I   N

And the shadow rose closer, closer, closer.

The Battery

O   P   E   N   E   D

The Forge

I   G   N   I   T   E   D

THE LOW AND HIGH TIDE BOTH TAKEN FROM ME

And here you are now

Denying PEACE to the buried

Selene asked:

“...The army is yours, isn’t it?”

And it seemed to him that the weariness in her voice said: I should have known all along.

It is mine now.

“Whose was it before?”

And, suddenly, the shadow below them stopped growing.

His.

They were lost children, abandoned.

Fixed on a purpose that no longer had meaning.

I took them in. Gave them new purpose.

I did not create them, but now they are mine.

The current, tearing at their clothes and skin just a moment ago, slowed down; the water around slightly less murky than it was before. He could see Selene clearly now, floating just a few feet away from him, blue cloak and glowing hair and crescent horns.

She was looking up, as if she could see something they didn’t. Maybe she really could.

And she asked Ondra:

“What are the remains of one god doing in the temple of another?”

And Ondra told them. For whatever reason, she told them everything. She spoke and spoke, and, just when it felt like his eardrums would burst any second now, suddenly, there was silence.

That was the whole story. Engwithans and the moon and gods murdering each other over things he still couldn’t fully grasp.

And, of all things, Selene said:

“...You loved him, didn’t you? You loved Abydon. This is why you're even willing to speak to me; this is what the abbey is for. To remember him as he was.”

There was an undertone to her voice that he couldn't understand. It might have been anger, or something else.

The current swelled around them.

The shadows darkened.

And the goddess of oblivion said:

His death belongs to me now.

[tobiasdrake]

As much as I loved DBS: Super Hero, it did also serve as a reminder for why modern Dragon Ball gives Gohan so little to do.

What it boils down to is that Dragon Ball writers seem to have difficulty finding new ways for Gohan to develop or evolve as a fighter. This is because Gohan himself isn't interested in developing or evolving as a fighter.

By contrast to the proactive Goku, Gohan is a reactive character. He doesn't want to be a big martial arts super-warrior. He has no ambition to become Next-Gen Son Goku. That doesn't mean he won't Do The Things. He's been Doing The Things since he was four. But he needs to have a reason. Something he's doing it for.

"To be stronger/better, to push myself, to become more than I am now," is Goku's driving motive. Goku is a martial artist driven to surpass his own limits, and this drives him to keep finding new mountains to climb.

Gohan's driving motive is, "To protect my family from that asshole." He needs a reason. Self-improvement for its own sake (or, as some have offered, "to be strong enough to deal with the next guy") isn't his passion. Plus, he's already one of the strongest people in the entire universe. How much stronger should he reasonably need to be?

There are all kinds of stories you can tell with a reactive character like Gohan. He's basically a superhero archetype. Spider-Man doesn't constantly train to make himself a better fighter with every waking moment. He doesn't need to; His genre isn't one of progressive escalation.

The problem is, Dragon Ball is dedicated to progressive escalation, arguably to its detriment as Modern Dragon Ball is well past the point where escalation no longer holds any weight. The powers of the characters are so abstract by this point that they have to be defined solely in relation to each other. "Bob is STRONGER than Alex." "Yeah, well now we're fighting John, who's way stronger than Bob and Alex combined." "Yeah well Mark is 100x stronger than John!" "Frank could flex Mark into oblivion with his pinky finger."

This isn't a problem for Gohan, so much as it is a problem for the mindset people have when writing for Dragon Ball. Whether it's Toei or Toyotaro or even Toriyama himself, nobody ever knows what to do with Gohan.

Even when Gohan's in the driver's seat, he's being written by writers who don't know how to write the kinds of stories that Gohan, as a protagonist, is suited for. So they always wind up going back and rehashing things from the well of past Gohan things.

Goku gets to move forward and do new things, but Gohan is trapped in an endless cycle of doing the same three things and nothing else.

1 - Piccolo's sacrifice. Piccolo throwing himself in front of an attack for Gohan or maybe Gohan throws himself in front of an attack for Piccolo if we're being spicy today. REMEMBER THAT TIME. DO YOU REMEMBER? 2 - Gohan gets a rage boost or turns Super Saiyan 2, and then things get real. Everyone loved his Super Saiyan 2 transformation. They loved it so much they're still finding excuses to have him turn Super Saiyan 2 for the very first time again. 3 - Gohan has the power within him to win but he can't unleash it so Goku appears out of nowhere to save him and give him a pep talk, and then he gains confidence in himself and becomes strong enough to win.

To my knowledge, I don't think #3 has appeared in DBS as of yet but it was all over post-Cell Games. After everyone went nuts for Father-Son Kamehameha, we had "Goku gives Gohan a pep talk so he can win" as the resolution for both Broly: Second Coming and Bojack. Then in the actual manga, Goku made the save on Gohan during the Super Buu fight and then got sick of having to do this and fired him from protag slot entirely, which is worse.

Most of Super Hero was a lot of fun. But that final fight turning into "Let's literally bring Cell back so that we can do 'Gohan turns Super Saiyan 2 and defeat Cell' again but it's actually Cell again for maximum uncreativity"? I see you, writers. I see your total lack of ideas for this character.

[vegalocity]

Hiii the other day I was reminiscing about your oblivion fic, (it's my favorite fic of all time), do you plan on continuing it? Or if you're leaving it (which is fine btw, I don't wanna put pressure on you) would you tell us how you were planning to end it?

Okay so first off-

aww thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy it that much! And second off-

....

under the cut

I DID have two last installments in mind as i was planning out how things would go, But i wasn't able to get them to paper before i lost steam--In large part because @unseelie-robynx And I ended up fleshing out the Bad End from Side B And came up with a sort of splinter AU we call the Tyrant Prince AU (for more info click here!) (also Robynx has done a BUNCH of additions to the Bad end idea with her own path, it's real fun) I might go back to the original story i don't know at this juncture, so assuming i won't i'll just tell you my plans-

So i had part 5 and part 6 planned out- Part five (Ovation) was going to be about the rest of the Monkie Crew finding out about what was going on with Red

Everyone of course would react differently, Xiaojiao is trying to figure out the practicalities of un-brainwashing someone, Tang is morbidly curious about both Red's mental state and Oblivion itself (Ironically the true difference in Oblivion Classic and the Tyrant Prince timeline is that in TP Freenoodles didn't get together until AFTER Xiaotian went off the deep end into 'mind control is fine actually' but in Oblivion Classic They're long married because there was gonna be a joke about Pigsy threatening to divorce Tang if he tried to use him as a guinea pig for mind control studies) And Pigsy is sure 'mind control' is just Xiaotian not understanding how drugs work and thinks Red's just Suuuppeerrr High, Sandy is most concerned with keeping Red comfortable so when the 'high' fades he won't have TOO Massive a crash.

But Red IS starting to sober up, if slowly, and once more tells Xiaotian he loves him- which Xiaotian asks again for him to stop,

And it's the first time Red's sober enough to say no to him. I never got to this scene but i imagined Red being both THOROUGHLY addicted to the mind control present, but also getting sober enough to know that something's not right. though the only thing he can peice together as not right is that he's not going to pretend like he doesn't 'love' him when he does and that he 'doesnt need oblivion' which his supposedly also does.

And this is the moment where Xiaotian decides he can't pretend to know what's best for Red, OR that he'd be a good anchor for Red to cling to while he gets sober, and he has to just admit defeat and properly deliver him back to his parents.

He explains the situation as best as he can to them, but they don't really trust or believe him, but he hands red over, says they don't have to tell him anything past this point, but for his own peace of mind he'd LIKE to know if Red starts doing better, and just leaves. (doing his best to ignore Red's crying for him and begging not to 'give him' to his parents because 'he belongs to him' and all that)

Which leads into Part 6 which is basically just a one scene epilogue

it's two years since then, the bull family hasn't been seen hide nor hair of excepting one or two sightings of bull clones buying groceries, and Red Son returns to the city, clean for long enough that he still has some questions and tests that need to be done. It's awkward, but Xiaotian agrees to whatever Red Son needs.

It's simple things, asking for Xiaotian's perspective on the whole event, if his Parents DID tell him how he'd been doing (they did not) and asking if he gets the memories of the clones when they destabilize (He does not)

And then ultimately- asks him to order him to do something. anything. Said firmly, said like he EXPECTS him to do it. So he can be SURE he can say no.

Xiaotian obliges, something simple like 'take off your glasses' which is immediately responded to with 'Fuck off Noodle Boy'

They're both pleased.

Red Son states his parents might try to take over the world again, and he'd probably supply them with tech, but he's not sure if he's ready to get back into the fights himself. it feels... wrong, still. That he's not THAT recovered yet. And perhaps when his therapist hears he sort of went rogue for this, he would be scolded for trying to rush the process, but...

there was one more thing he wants to know. Something he NEEDS to know for himself. Because if he doesn't know then he'll spend the rest of his life questioning it.

Xiaotian is about to ask what he means but Red Son rushes up to him-

and Kisses him.

Because he needs to know if that was real, or just another thing the clone did to him.

Admittedly i wanted the result to be ambiguous, Xiaotian pulls away and Red Son immediately fire teleports away, and we switch to his POV, and he's several buildings away, still watching Xiaotian as he looks around for him, looking worried. And Red Son takes a breath, and looks back in the direction he knows the club once was, and heads home with a smile.

the Last line being 'But now he Knew'

[lepetitloir]

Gathering my thoughts on Ada Vessalius, because I keep being conflicted about her. (opinions under cut, warning: SPOILERS)

Very noticeable about Ada is that she's mostly there to help the arcs of other characters (Noise, Vincent). Beside that, she's portrayed as an innocent woman, sort of oblivious about what's going on around her. Characters purposefully leave her out of it in order to protect her, ever since she was 8. So, of course it's not her fault that she's oblivious.

The story points out many times that Ada is very much a woman. She's pretty, she easily cries, she's soft, and Vincent the Misogynist hates her (the chapter Persona makes us very aware that Ada is a woman).

In Pandora Hearts it's portrayed as a feminine trait to be innocent and oblivious, but it is also portrayed as feminine to overcome these traits (I'm thinking of Sharon and the Rainsworth ladies here). In fact, I think it's meant to be a sign of female strength to overcome these traits. Ada is dragged into the story more towards the end, and in the face of the darker themes that people kept her out of, she stands tall and accepts that she's different, but that it doesn't mean she can't be with the other characters. I think admitting that (accepting you are different and that's okay) makes her very strong. Not only that, but also that she still tries to understand those who are different than her.

It's beautiful and strong that she is the one to understand Vincent and his trauma, understand that he struggles with himself, and that she wants to face him and tell him it's okay and she forgives him. It's strong that she is the one to directly address the issue, where other fail to do so.

Except, it would be nice if that was the case, but it's not really like that, is it?

She's able to directly address the issue because she hasn't really seen the other side. Sure, Noise tells her that Vincent manipulated her, and Ada describes there being a sadness around Vincent, but she doesn't know what he did during the series?

When it's revealed that she and Vincent are dating, I got the reaction "Oh no Ada doesn't know what Vincent has been up to in the story". Later events were able to convince me that Ada stood strong and that she sort of knew what she was doing (trying to get to know Vincent, which means she knows she doesn't really know him). Yet, after reading the manga, I come to the realisation "Oh no Ada still doesn't know what Vincent had been up to in the story". The initial issue of her not knowing of Vincent's actions is still there. So when she says she forgives him, it feels wrong.

I was thinking of the way white-haired Alice and Vincent """forgive""" Jack, but in those cases, Jack gave them some self-worth and to them, that outweighed Jack's manipulations. (Side note: I use the word "forgive" just for the comparison, they don't actually forgive him, but they appreciate the good he's done to them) The point is, they are aware of Jack's bad actions, but still decide his good actions were worth something. They have the full picture.

Ada doesn't, so how much value do her words actually hold? Despite that, I know it's important for her to say those words, and I find it really sad that Vincent is touched by them, no matter how much weight they actually hold (and he most likely is aware of the lack of weight). He's just that desperate to be forgiven. Good for him.

But it takes the strength out of the moment if I look at Ada. It would have been such a Moment if she'd forgiven Vincent knowing the full picture. Oh well.

Err anyway, Ada's oblivion is also portrayed as strong on its own. I like that, the idea that you could be doing something good even if you're not aware of it. "Just be kind" is the message, and yeah no one can dissagree with that.

I don't hate VinceAda! Let me be clear, I remember absolutely loving them as a couple after I finished the manga for the first time in 2016. But ehmm... the reason I like them is because I adore Jun Mochizuki's choice to not let them be together at the end. In the last official guide (the only one I own ;-;), in the interview with her and Chizuru Kobayashi, she mentions that Vincent has done too horrible things to stay with Ada, and Jun Mochizuki couldn't image them ending up together. I respect that so much, because I agree! It's what makes this couple so perfect for me: the author not forcing them into something.

Lastly, here are some smaller thoughts I have about Ada:

I like that one of her attempts at getting to understand Vincent is trying to find similarities in them (so she tries to talk about the occult with him). It's nice that later, she can accept that they are most likely two completely other people.

I think a part of Noise's arc is overcoming internalized misogyny. That's why it's so important that Ada is very feminine. She is the sort of woman Noise would hate. An "other girl", not like her.

In the end, when Gilbert tells Ada Vincent is dead, Ada cries because Gil telling her that means that Vince is alive.

(aaaahh that was the end of my silly takes! English isn't my first language so sorry if my grammar is off!)

[innerchorus]

Okay, instead of making a million disjointed Gurgin posts like I’m constantly tempted to do, it occurs to me that I can just... put them all in the same post.

Two thoughts that are breaking my brain at the moment; 1. the fact that Nakamura’s manga made me consider a blonde Gurgin (it’s like the sequel to blonde Isfan but worse... though if I have to imagine them with light hair then they can both have silver/grey because blonde just does not work for me, lmao) and 2. trying to picture Gurgin wearing white back when he was training to become a priest...

(He was MADE for wearing black. I do sometimes think about what he would wear if he left Team Zahhak and their typical attire behind, but it’s hard to see him wearing a lot of colour even then.)

(This is funny though because in the novels Team Zahhak wear dark grey.)

Do you ever come across a reference to something historical or whatever and just think ‘that has to be included in an AU somehow’ because that happened to me most recently with the Castle of Oblivion. It’s in Khuzestan, like the Temple of Mithra. I think I’m going to incorporate it into Gurgin’s backstory somehow, like maybe he and his brother and Farangis visited its ruins together once when they were at the temple together, but (unbeknownst to them) way back in the day it used to be used by the priesthood to imprison users of magic / those suspected of following Zahhak. Nowadays they just kill them instead. That’s another thing that the temple trio don’t know about (at least, not yet). Who knows, maybe even the Master himself was familiar with this place!

I’m... really tempted to give Gurgin a different eye colour in every AU I imagine him in. Is this because I’m indecisive and can’t quite settle on one? Maybe. But I also kind of like the idea of this one inconsequential visual difference between all of the different ‘versions’ of Gurgin and his story that I like to think about.

(Interlude aka Magical Healing AU is the only one that has much of anything actually written for it, and his eye colour there is a grey-green, but I do like the thought of a pale blue-grey too, or even brown like his brother, though that might be too similar as they both have dark hair and I like the thought that their eye colour sets them apart distinctly... having said that I was considering a deep reddish-brown/mahogany colour for Mage Hunt AU, I’m not sure why.)

I feel I should admit to the fact that I think about Mage Hunt AU and the eventual Zandeh/Gurgin all the time... like, why yes, Zandeh, you will end up deeply in love with the man you once called a “slimy little freak”. You will love him with your whole heart. You will love his mind, his body and his soul, and you will not want to imagine a future without him by your side. (And thankfully, you won’t have to. This one has a happy ending!)

I was indulging myself recently by imagining Gurgin reuniting with Aghriras in the afterlife, since the novels do seem to indicate that one exists and this is possible. Yeah, I know, it’s absolutely delusional to think that Gurgin would be allowed into Parsian heaven lmao, but... maybe eventually? Just imagining Aghriras wordlessly holding him in a tight hug.

Revisiting some of the content regarding Zahhak’s blood and its mind-control powers in the novels recently has actually been very relevant to my interests in that recently I’d started considering yet another AU (probably like an eventual bad end for well past the events of Interlude, where Gurgin is still firmly Team Zahhak, tries to have it all and ends up suffering the consequences). I would personally describe it as ‘averting canon horror by committing AU atrocities’ but to be more specific, Gurgin ends up saving Zandeh’s life by giving him Zahhak’s blood, and it’s not going to end well. (Sorry, Gurgin. He’ll probably kill you in the end.)

The fact that Gurgin most likely knows exactly where Zandeh is in the second half is just so useful to me. You can’t tell me that this little snake wouldn’t have been reading Namard and Kermine’s letters whenever he got the chance.

Also I am 👀 at the fact that Gurgin recognises that Kermine’s love for Namard would have caused problems for Team Zahhak in the future if he’d lived, while Ghundi is totally oblivious (and annoyed at Gurgin for not telling him before). Gurgin seems surprised that Ghundi doesn’t know. Perhaps he thought it was obvious; however, he may also have deliberately kept quiet about it and is now making a jab at his comrade (like ‘I can’t believe you didn’t notice it, you really don’t know?’). Anyway, this is definitely of interest to me, because I wonder if he’s not been with Team Zahhak for long enough for his perceptiveness of such things to be completely deadened.

Also poor guy, at this point he’s totally sleep deprived and exhausted from the constant racket that the winged apes have been making

(My little headcanon is that back in the time when he and Zandeh were both in Ecbatana, he would sometimes go and sleep in Zandeh’s bed during the day.)

Tanaka: 'In the past, in addition to the Holy Master there were eight people in this room; now only two remained. The anxiety and loneliness of the mages was deeply felt.’ 😢

Weirdest thing I have researched for Sacrifice AU so far: what happens if someone drinks heavy water (yeah, Gurgin... don’t drink from that weird underground well...)

I want to make a Gurgin playlist... I will accept suggestions!

[little-peril-stories]

Whumptober 2023, Day 7: “Can you hear me?”

Whumptober 2023 Masterlist

Read at your own risk! They're only snippets of a larger story, with no resolution that will be posted online anytime soon; they are being posted out of order; and the characters don't have names. Enjoy!

Contents: angst, death mention, vicious rumours

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Word count: 750 || Approx reading time: 3 mins

"Can you hear me?"

Teaser: But days had passed, and the scholar didn’t wake. Life went on, and still there was no sign of her.

"The road ahead may twist, but I will never swerve"

Nothing that was happening was real. That was the only explanation.

It was a dream, a nightmare. A figment of his overtired, overactive imagination as he struggled through his restless sleep. It was still the night of the wedding, and as he agonized over his decision—tell her you’re desperately in love with her—his wicked, treacherous brain had fabricated one of the most awful, outlandish worst-case scenarios it could conjure. He was tossing and turning in his bed right at that very moment, fitful slumber haunted by this monstrous dream.

Another explanation, he thought, less likely but still within the realm of possibility, was that he was ill. Very ill. Delirious, in fact. Food poisoning, perhaps? A vicious fever? He imagined himself in his sickbed, sweating and twitching, moaning as disease ravaged his body, incoherent ramblings on his lips, languishing in the grip of a savage fever dream.

The other idea he felt compelled to entertain: he was dead. He had never given much serious thought to what came after death, and he’d certainly not expected to find a punishment waiting for him there. Yet if he was dead, he must have done something truly heinous, because this was bordering on unbearable.

Being dead and suffering through some kind of purgatory was the least palatable option he’d come up with, yet the scholar half-hoped it was true. If he had died, the hell he was living through now was the false reality. It would eventually crumble into oblivion, blown away on the wind with his ashes, or buried in the ground with his decomposing corpse.

But days had passed, and the scholar didn’t wake. Life went on, and still there was no sign of her.

There was no sign of her, and no word from her, and each day closed with no answers and no relief.

Only questions. Only grief.

The search dwindled. Of course it did. How much time, how much money, how much energy should be devoted to one missing girl? A servant, no less? It wasn’t infinite.

By the fourth day, the endless chorus of her name, the refrain of “Where are you? Can you hear me?” was ended.

A runaway, it was decided. The most likely explanation. With no message, no body, no suspect…

Well, no suspect, save for one.

He knew what the rumours said, what vindictive whispers had been swirling through the court since the night she disappeared.

You know who was the last person to see her, right? The night of the wedding? The only one who truly knows what happened? That teacher. That strange boy, the one who used to tutor the prince. The odd, quiet one. He’s the one who did it.

She didn’t run away. She was murdered.

The scholar ignored them. He had to. He had to, or he was going to lose his senses completely.

He had to pretend he could not hear the hisses of disgust or see the accusing glares.

He had to convince his friends the rumours were wrong.

He had to find her.

The sun would set soon—a blood-read ball preparing to dip below the horizon and usher in the night. The last search party had long disbanded.

Not for him.

The castle had been searched, torn apart, a hundred times over, yielding nothing—not a lock of golden-brown hair, not a scrap of her spring-green dress, not a sprig of shimmering blossoms or even a single blue petal. No footprints, no blood trail.

The grounds…the same.

So he set off into town. It had also been searched, of course, at his insistence, and that of her friends—friends who now watched him with suspicion as if they could so easily be swayed to believe he might ever hurt her.

He shouted her name, and his was the only voice left, and it seemed unlikely that, somewhere in the dying, darkening city streets, she would be able to hear him calling for her at all.

Still, he went on.

His feet ached. His fingers went numb. His voice grew hoarse.

Still, she did not answer.

The moon was high when he finally stopped, casting a pale and eerie glow over the city’s cobblestoned paths. It shivered, precarious and distorted and unreal, in the glass-pane puddles that lined the streets. The scholar stood motionless, staring into the dark mouth of an alley, as if he could through sheer determination—sheer desperation—will a girl in a green dress to appear.

Only the darkness stared back.

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[thelikesoffinn]

Do you play other rpg? It would be cool to read your opinion on cullen from dragon age Inquisition ❤️❤️❤️

Ooooh no, the question I've been afraid of ever since people started asking me stuff! For now I must out myself as someone who usually doesn't really...like classic rpgs?

Now, before we throw stones - let me explain!

I do like gaming and I do that a lot, but those things that are classically recognised as your standard rpg aren't really my cup of tea most of the time because, quite frankly, I. Get. Bored.

Really, I keep trying, but I'm rarely engaged. Like, I played the witcher II and III, oblivion, guild wars 2, teso and, as a wee lass, I played Fable. (And I think I did play Dragon Age Origins and Pathfinder but that was when I was a depressed teen in survival mode, so I'm not counting those for a hot moment because I remember nothing about them 👉🏻👈🏻)

In my experience, there's often a lot of running about and "go collect THIS in THREE VILLAGES AND EIGHT HOURS OF FOREST over and then come back!" and I can't deal with that sort of unnecessary grind that does nothing but make the game longer. (Now, we don't count cozy farming games or pokemon here, aight? Those are a different category in my book.)

Especially in new-ish titles where they, quite blatantly, go "yo okay you can only go HERE if you did all the side quests on that island over there otherwise you're too weak and that little wolf overhere will absolutely decimate you".

It's hard for me to stay engaged and actually finish the game, so they never quite managed to capture my heart, which is why I, at some point, stopped looking into RPGs as a whole.

(A few exceptions that I did enjoy were VTM Bloodlines and, more recently, Hogwarts Legacy.)

I'm more into narrower games that are a bit more story focused - like Stray Gods, omfg that one was so good - and don't let me wander off for 69 hours without to collect buckwheat for the farmers cousin twice removed, hehe.

(Btw, that's also why I'm so mad at the newer assassins creed games - ESPECIALLY Odyssey and Valhalla - because I absolutely love assassins creed as a whole, but I hate that they're so huge and open-worldy these days. Like, what is so wrong about a more story focused game? Let me enjoy this for a few hours and then back tf off please.)

The whole entire reason why I got into bg3 is basically the lovely @harcove because she was sharing a lot of clips and pictures - mostly of Halsin back then, haha - and I thought that game actually looked really fun so I decided to, potentially, throw almost 70€ into the fire and trust the opinion of someone I'd never talked to and here we are I guess 👉🏻👈🏻

(Haven't regretted it. I love bg3 dearly, and it's nice to find a proper rpg I actually do enjoy!)

So, to get back to your question: Unless you want me to tell you that Sebastian Sallow is actually a sweetheart if you look past his desperation or you want me to go on a rant of how amazing Malkavians are - which they ate omfg they so 100% are - or about how Geralt z Rivii is an absolute treat for anyone into the broody type, I don't think I can do a lot of talking about other rpg's, darling, I'm sorry!

[of-thieves-and-witches]

Flattery

A/N: not proof read because the original revision didn't save and I didn't want to edit the whole thing again.

_________________________________

Gwen bit her lower lip in concentration. To disclose or not to disclose, that was the question.

She had already revealed one secret tonight, should she reveal another?

He had taken the first one pretty well , he might take the second one in a similar way.

" you're making your worried thinky face G , if you wanna say something spit it out "

He caught her. Guess when you're with someone for years it's hard to truly hide things from them. You just know each other too well.

Dang it

Gwen sighed, " okay um so you know when I asked you to the dance,"

Ah the dance, Kevin remembered. Their first not-an-actual date date.

It was the day they almost kissed for the first time , the day he realised he wanted to be with the redhead in a more than just good freinds kind of way.

A moment in time he remembered fondly.

" and you know how we got to my school and you happened to say the only reason I didn't want to go in was because you thought I was embarrassed by you?"

A moment in time he didn't remember fondly. While he had been flattered by the anodites interest in him back then, he couldn't possibly understand why. He still didn't, but now he wasn't shrouded by his own crippling belief of his self worth.

The only people who had ever shown interest were the ones who wanted an in on whatever big thing he had scored, or could score for them. Not to mention all the years he had spent in hiding because of his mutation. It was hard looking every reflection and seeing himself as the monster from the stories his mother used to tell him about his father's battles to keep peace.

The night after he was first mutated, Kevin got out the river and went home , soaking and sobbing for a mother's comfort , only for her to scream at his sight and slam the door in his face.

He flew away when he heard her yelling into a phone " there's a giant ugly monster on my porch! I don't know what it wants...okay ...hurry please "

He had become something his own mother was petrified of. If she didn't love him, how could believe anyone else could?

" Kev I was never embarrassed by you. The opposite actually. I ...um... wanted to show you off...." her voice trailed off.

The boy's head turned in her direction , his left eyebrow raised in confusion.

" what do you mean?"

" babe I don't think you realised, but you were a pretty big deal. Smoking hot bad boy with a mysterious background? You were like....every girl's dream."

Bunch of 15 year old girls with a free wattpad account? Dating a moody bad boy was the vibe of the era! Everyone wanted a Kevin Levin, and Gwen couldn't help but feel a little proud that she had him.

It didn't matter how preppy and mature she was, at the end of the day, she was just a girl.

Kevin was silent. He knew his aura caught the attention of a few girls, it still does no doubt , but he didn't think it was that big of a deal.

" it's not that I didn't genuinely like you though, I did. I really did want to get to know you more and see where it went , but I guess I also wanted to brag to the world that I got the town's most desirable bad boy. I'm sorry, that was pretty shallow of me"

Kevin didn't know how to respond to this. He was flattered that that's how everyone saw him, even though he's had his more than fair share of dysmorphia over the years.

The osmosian looked straight ahead at the dark waves crashing against the shore. The moon was close to the west, indicating it was time for it set soon; and the sun would rise, illuminating the rest of the stars into oblivion.

" So you paraded me around like a trophy at the carnival? " his expression was stoic.

" like please help me understand why you'd do something like that"

Gwen gulped.

Oh no. Maybe I should've kept this one to myself.

" like... I said Kevin , you were good looking"

Her voice was small now. She didn't want to upset him anymore than she already had.

Stupid stupid stupid.

" you did it because I was just another good looking dude ?"

" just anoth-, kev you were outright gorgeous okay?! And really cool. and funny and smart and like, the whole package really. Not to ment.." She stopped mid sentence, noticing the little smirk on his face.

Oh.

" eff you levin "she yelled as she pulled away, playfully slapping his upper arm while Kevin rolled back in laughter.

" hahaha you should've seen the look on your face"

Emerald eyes glared in his direction, secretly holding relief that he wasn't mad at her.

" well don't stop now, tell me more about how amazing I am"

" shut up"

She laid down on the cool blanket beside him, her hands intertwining with his.

He turned to her , his other hand softly caressing her cheek as she gently stared into his eyes.

The redhead might've been superficial, but she'd constantly proved time and time again that she loves him for more than what he just looks like.

Maybe if wasn't so insecure back then, he would've noticed the excessive attention that Gwen spoke of, maybe dated around more.

But he knew deep down, no girl could ever come close to his.

[randomfanner]

Quiet Part 5

Anya rubbed the wash cloth across the polished wood, making sure to get rid of every bit of dirt and grime that could possibly be on the surface. Ace glanced from where he was mopping and smiled.

“You should really be heading to bed, I will finish up here,” he said as he dunked the mop head back into the water.

“But I am not tired! And if I work hard, father will be proud of me,” Anya added as she moved over to the next table.

Ace’s expression shifted to a strain smile. “You have worked hard all day,” he said as he flopped the wet mop onto the floor, cleaning the floor. “Go up to your room and once I am finished up down here, I will be up to tell you a story.” 

Anya looked at him with puppy eyes for a moment before humming as she took the rag. “Ok," she said as she put the rag in the water bucket, finding her way to the stares up to her room.

“Don’t forget to lock your door till I come knocking!” he called as he heard her feet thumping up the stairs. There were guests staying in the inn rooms. Ace let out a huff as he stared at the ground.

Ace would love to knock ‘Otus’” teeth in but unfortunately that was not an option for the aasimar.  At least not right now. As soon as he was done paying off this never ending debt and out of this contract he was going to find another bag of exploding beans and follow in the ways of Nozu. 

Ace was snapped out of his thoughts but the sound of someone tugging on the large double doors. After they were refused once they began to try again and again. Whoever it was clearly was too shitfaced to realized they were closed for the night. Ace huffed as he put the mop back in the bucket.

Ace pushed the door open. “Sorry Buddy we ar- Holy hells, Enver,” Ace looked down at the child. 

Enver glared up at him, one eye swollen shut and a number of bruises on his body. “You guys have rooms, right?” the child held open his hand. He had managed to scrounge up three coppers and a gold piece. “I need one.”

“Enver keep your money, what happened?” Ace asked as he bent down. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Enver hissed. “Can I stay or not?” 

Ace stared down at him and let out a sigh. Enver didn’t need to answer, Ace knew. Ace gave a sigh as he put his metal hand on Enver’s hand. The child almost smacked it away before the mint green light of healing came, soothing and making the injuries fade into nothing. “I can’t get you a room of your own, but if you can stay in Anya’s room with her. I am sure she would be thrilled to have a sleepover. Or if you don’t want her to know you are here, I have a couch.” 

“... I will stay with Anya,” Enver muttered.

“OK, I need to finish up down here but her room is up the stairs all the way down the hall on the right. OK?” he asked, Ace shoved a hand into a pocket and pulled out a shiny red apple, handing it to Enver.

Enver took the apple and wasted no time eating almost everything but the seeds. Ace took those from him when he was done. Enver went towards the staircase, giving a glance at Ace before disappearing. Ace watched him before he put his hand over his face, eyes rolling backwards. 

Keeping Enver wasn’t an option. As much as Ace would love to simply keep the child here and away from his parents he had one big issue,  “Otus”. The bastard had barely agreed to keep Anya around. Another mouth that ‘did nothing’ to keep would be mocked into oblivion no matter what argument Ace managed to pull out his arse.  Ace could try talk to some of the staff, and he most certainly would but the fact they were working here well: none of them were in any real place to take care of Enver

His stupid contract prevented him from contacting anyone back home because if he could, well, he probably wouldn’t still be here. Though… if he happened to give a child a boat ticket to Emerald Brig… Enver was a bright kid. 

Logos would accept him into the college in a heartbeat. Granted she would see a kid in need and help him anyway. He might even tell her about Anya, get the headmistress to send someone to come and invite her as well.

Maybe if he managed to get there, Enver would even get to meet Coral. If Ace wasn’t mistaken, Coral would be nine so it could be realistically they could be friends… 

All great thoughts of course but there was one big issue: Ace had no money and no way to give Enver a boat ticket. Ace shook his head. He would formulate something. 

But right now he had to finish chores and get a story ready for both children tonight. Ace finally pulled himself off of the ground.

“Got any 2s?” Enver hadn’t explained where or why he had come into Anya’s room, simply grabbed a deck of cards off her desk and sat down insisting that she shouldn’t question why he was here.

“Go fish.” Anya of course wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. She glanced down at her single remaining card once again

“Shit,” Enver muttered as he drew another card, eyes furrowing.

“Got any 7s?”

Enver rolled his eyes as he pulled out his seven, tossing it across the way. Anya grinned as she put the pair together and laid it down neatly with the others.  “I win!” Anya cheered as she gathered up the cards. Enver huffed.

‘Whatever, you got lucky.” 

Knock, knock knock, knock.

Anya stood up right away, turning around to open the door. Ace stood at the door with a grin.

“Are you two ready for your bedtime story?” he asked.

“Bedtime story?” 

“We will be!” Anya shoved the cards into the box she had and placed them back where they were found. She laid on the floor and grabbed a spare blanket from under the bed. Enver’s fingers took hold of the blanket and Anya raised an eyebrow.  “You are the guest, you get the bed.”

Enver stared at her for a moment. “... Well- well I just liked that blanket more than the one you have on the bed.” 

“Oh!” Anya said as she grabbed the blanket on the bed, yanking it to the ground before throwing the one she had grabbed for herself onto the bed.  “Ok.” She bent down and grabbed another blanket to fold up and lay on the ground 

Enver huffed as he pulled himself on the bed, pulling the blanket over him, getting comfortable. Ace watched with a small smile on his face as the both of them finally settled down. 

“Tell me now, have you heard the story of Icarus?” 

“Who?” Enver asked. 

“Well dear Enver, that is exactly what I will be answering now isn’t it?” Ace asked as he bent at the waist, holding up a finger before bending back. “Icarus was the son of a great inventor named Daedalus. Daedalus had been tasked with building a great labyrinth that no one could escape by King Minos. Minos had commissioned this labyrinth  to capture a horrid beast known as the Minotaur,” Ace put his hands to his head, making bullhorns and letting out a huff. “The king began to shove anyone down in the maze who he wished to punish, of course, for this unsolvable maze to work, no one could be able to figure it out but with the inventor around well- that could cause problems if the trick was explained.”

“So he killed him.”

“No, he did not. After all it would be a waste of his great mind to simply kill him when he could have more uses for it.” Ace said. “Instead he imprisoned both Daedalus and Icarus in a great tower with seemingly no way to escape. However Daedalus was not so convinced so he began to work on how to escape.”

“What did Icarus do?” Enver asked.

“Uh-” Ace paused for a moment. “That is upcoming!” Ace said as he snapped his fingers. “It did not take long for Daedalus to invite wings of feathers and wax.”

“That’s stupid,” Enver said, his eyes narrowing. “They wouldn’t work.”

“Shush! I am trying to enjoy the story, Enver!” Anya said from the floor, throwing her pillow at him

“What! They wouldn’t!” Enver said as he threw the pillow back at her. 

“Both of you,” Ace sighed and he shook his head. “They were enchanted wings of feathers and wax. And they could be used to fly them out of their tower however Daedalus warned that should Icarus fly too low, the sea spray would make the wings too heavy and he would be unable to keep flying, however should he fly too high the wings would melt and he would fall.”

“.... Tha-”

“Shush.”

Ace smirked at Anya’s instant cut off of the comment. “Icarus discarded the ladder warning, flying up and up into the sky, he felt on top of the world before just as his father had warned, the wings began to melt and down to the ocean below Icarus fell, ending his sorry tale.”

“.... that was dumb,” Enver said. 

“Well there is still a lesson to be learned there, don’t you think?” Ace asked. 

Enver crossed his arms. “If it were grounded in any sort of reality maybe,” he said. 

“Well still, you need to be careful about your pride is the point of the story, even if it isn’t grounded in reality, Enver!” Anya said.

“Good job on catching the moral of our little tale, Anya,” Ace said as he smiled. 

Anya smiled as she settled back down, resting her head on the pillow. Enver rolled his eyes as he laid his head down on his, pulling the soft covers over his head.

“Good night you two, sleep well.”

“Good night.”

“Hmm….”

Ace huffed as he ventured down the stairs. He had a flat head screwdriver and bent down to the floor. He wasn’t paid and any tips he got were given straight to ‘Otus’ however there was one thing that “Otus” couldn’t stop him from doing.

Scrunching up whatever bits of gold had gotten stuck between the floorboards.

He had a long night ahead of him.

[kaliawai512-v2]

Hey!

I’m trying to develop my own writing skills, but I am a little baby in the world of writing so I’m seeking help and I think your writing is really cool and it makes me happy. So I found my way here.

But I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything about your writing process? Like how you work with drafts, plotting, editing and how you manage the time/motivation to write so much holy cow! Also how long have you been writing consistantly?

Okay that’s a lot of questions at once, sorry. 😂

Anyway I hope you enjoy your day! ;)

Hiya!!

Aww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and thank you for leaving such kind comments <3 Absolutely, I’m happy to share my experience! Sorry that this is a veeeeeeeery long reply XD

I don’t have a super-neat process for managing drafts. When I get an idea for a story, I jot it down, but I try not to force it. I let it sit in the back of my head and it will either develop or fade into oblivion. If I’ve got enough ideas that it seems like it could make a full story, I start organizing it into scenes and/or chapters (depending on the length). There will often be some “blanks” in between major events, and I fill those in as I get inspiration.

Once I’ve got at least a mostly complete outline, I start writing. And this is where I’m a massive weirdo: I write completely out of order. I’ll write a bit of a scene in Chapter 17 and then a snippet in Chapter 1, and oh, now I figured out how the final chapter will end so I’m writing that now, and then a bit in Chapter 6 … you get the picture XD This process probably won’t work for most people, but I’ve been doing it for around ten years now (yes, I am a Tumblr grandma) and it works great for me - even though it does lead to a bit more editing down the line.

I don’t edit at all as I go, and I try not to start editing until I’m at least a good ways through writing. When I am ready to edit, I read everything out loud - this helps me catch things I might not miss and helps me get a sense for what “sounds” right on the sentence level. It also wears down my voice a bit, so I don’t edit a ton at once.

And I’m flattered you think so highly of my motivation!! But I have a secret to share … I don’t write consistently - at least not in the long run XD If I’m working toward a specific goal, then I try to write fairly consistently (I also love NaNoWriMo). But I find that if I have to force myself to write over and over, then it’s worth questioning whether I’m having fun with the project. Every project has its tough parts, and sometimes you just have to power through if you want to see the end product. But there’s no glory in just tormenting yourself all the time - especially when you’re writing fanfic.

Lately, I write at least 500 words daily - sometimes up to 5-6k. But this is a writing binge. Prior to this February, I hadn’t written consistently in around six months. And before that binge, a lot longer. Why? I have a lot going on in my life. Writing is one of my passions, and at the moment, purely done for fun - and that’s not a bad thing! My creativity in various areas comes and goes, and I’ve learned to accept when it wanes and just do other things for a while. It always comes back eventually.

But the biggest piece of advice I can give you is: figure out what YOU like. Because your goals aren’t mine, and your life isn’t mine! I hope that my experience will offer you something (and questions are ALWAYS welcome <3) but you should always do what works best for you. Absolutely reach out to lots of writers and get their takes, but don’t take any piece of writing advice without a grain of salt. As far as I’m concerned, there are no hard-fast rules in writing.

Have fun with writing, give yourself space to practice on projects you enjoy, and if you can, keep the pressure low! I wish you all the best in your journey and I know you’re going to make amazing things <3

Hope you have a great day as well! :D

[novelmonger]

Moments That Bring Me Joy: Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace

On a whim, I've decided to go through some of my favorite childhood movies and just list all the moments in them that bring me joy. I'm fully aware that many of the stories I loved as a kid are deeply flawed, but I just want to take some time to appreciate what they did well. Just because I'm focusing on the positive doesn't mean I'm unaware of the negative.

Note: I chose the word "joy" deliberately. Not all of the moments that bring me joy bring me (or the characters) happiness. Scenes involving death or pain might not be very fun or cheerful, but I find joy in a good story well told.

I wanted to start with Star Wars, because that was my life when I was 8/9/10. And what better time of year to begin a nostalgic look back on Star Wars? Don't look now, but this is going to be long, because Episode I is my favorite of the main six. I used to watch this on average once a week, and still have the majority of it memorized ^^'

I love that Obi-Wan's first line in the movie is the famous, "I have a bad feeling about this." (Also, don't ask me how many times I've found reason to quote him: "it's something...elsewhere...elusive.")

"My lord, is that...legal?" "I will make it legal." That's basically Sidious' modus operandi, isn't it?

I love the battle droids' voices. "Roger, roger."

"They are still coming through!" *Force theme swells* I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, Qui-Gon breaking through blast doors with a lightsaber isn't the most impressive or heroic of feats, but that music works on me every time. I always want to cheer ^_^

"You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short."

"You assume too much." - A very useful quote that I use frequently, mimicking Nute Gunray's accent for maximum effect.

Padme's royal gown and headdress are kinda weird, but so pretty. I also love her official makeup. I had a doll of her in this outfit, and I thought it was the prettiest thing.

John Williams has made a lot of amazing music for this series, but I think my second-favorite is actually the Trade Federation theme. Weird, right? There's just something about it that gets me so excited - probably because it's most prominent in this movie.

"You almost got us killed. Are you brainless?" "I spake." "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here." - I love Jar-Jar Binks. I know I'm in the tiny minority about that, but I do. He's adorable and I love him.

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way." "If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces, and blast us into oblivion!" - I love this line, and I love Obi-Wan's little smirk to Qui-Gon about it XD

When they go through the bubble membrane into Ota Gunga! So satisfying ^_^

Say what you will about Big Boss Nass, but I love him. The clicking, the jowl-jiggling. "De Naboo tink dey so smarty. Dey tink dey brains so big!"

"Master, what's a bongo?" "A transport, I hope."

Jar-Jar's snail-like eyes bugging out at the gooberfish XD

"There's always a bigger fish."

"You didn't tell him about the missing Jedi." "No need to report that to him until we have something to report." Excellent quoting potential.

That sound the battle droids make when Qui-Gon Force-pushes them away!

The handmaidens' outfits are also gorgeous. Oh, what I would have given at the age of 8 to have a dress with a red-to-yellow gradient like that! <3 (If we'd been a Halloween-celebrating family, I totally would have gone as Padme or Leia three years in a row.)

"Where are you taking them?" "To Coruscant." "Coruscant...uh, that doesn't compute. Uh, wait, uh...you're under arrest!"

R2-D2's moment of heroism, fixing the ship's shields! <3

"Mesa day startin' pitty okey-day wit a brisky mornin' munchin', den boom! Gettin' berry scared, and grabbin' dat Jedi, den pah! Mesa here. Mesa gettin' berry, berry scared!"

You're going to get tired of hearing this, but: Padme's look on Tatooine is so pretty! Especially her hair. Oh, I love her hair!

Jar-Jar vs. the pit droids is always fun.

"Ey, ey! Ya wanna wanga?" Or however it's spelled; do I look like I speak Huttese? XD

I love that Anakin just invites these weird offworlders he's never met before to stay at his home during the sandstorm - and that Shmi doesn't put up any sort of protest, but welcomes them in and feeds them. True hospitality and generosity. Later on, Anakin says to Shmi, "You say the biggest problem in this universe is nobody helps each other." They are the exception to that for sure.

C3-PO and R2D2's meeting is so funny and sweet. And just think of how many years they end up spending together and how many adventures they'll go on!

"You must have Jedi reflexes if you race pods." *snatches Jar-Jar's tongue in the middle of swiping a fruit* "Don't do that again."

"No one can kill a Jedi." "I wish that were so." - FORESHADOWING!!!!! D:

Jar-Jar getting his tongue stuck in the energy binders and going, "My tongue is fat" with his long tongue hanging out of his mouth XD

"IT'S WORKING!!!! IT'S WORKING!!!!"

Just...all of the CG and sound effects of the podrace. It's all so good!!! I'm especially fond of the CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK sound of Sebulba's engines.

That one racer who goes, "Rarrr!" right before blowing up XD

DARTH MAUL DARTH MAUL DARTH MAUL!!!! 8D Definitely the coolest and most intimidating Sith. It definitely helps that he has, like, two lines in the whole movie.

That bemused smile when Obi-Wan and Anakin meet for the first time. They have no idea.... :')

Nute Gunray saying, "Take him away," which sounds more like, "Tuck him away," like the battle droids are going to tuck Sio Bibble in for the night XD

Sunsets on Coruscant are always so gorgeous <3

"You've been a good apprentice, Obi-Wan. And you're a much wiser man than I am. I foresee you will become a great Jedi Knight."

The handmaidens' outfits in the final battle of Naboo are really cool, and I love the hair! I remember trying to figure out how to put my hair up like that when I was a kid.

That secret little smile between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan that means they suspected all along that Padme was the real queen.

"Yousa no tinkin' yousa greater dan da Gungans? Meeeeesa lika dis! Maybe wesa...bein' friends!" And the Gungans throw themselves into the defense of their planet! I just love how the two peoples work together.

"Wipe them out. All of them." - Yet another favorite line to quote.

The whole sequence of the battle droids unloading and then marching on the Gungans is so satisfying. Also, I love the sound effect of the lasers pinging against the shield.

"Red group, blue group! Everybody this way!" - Why was this also a favorite line for my brother and me???

DUEL OF THE FATES YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! 8D Absolutely the best lightsaber fight in the entire franchise. All three of them look so cool, the whole fight is interesting and keeps you on the edge of your seat, you never feel like any of them are just hanging back and waiting for their turn, and that music! That's my favorite track across all the soundtracks for sure.

Jar-Jar getting his foot caught in the wiring of a battle droid and accidentally shooting a whole bunch that way is the best thing ever XD

I couldn't say why, but I've always found it really satisfying to watch Padme's team use their ascension guns to rappel up the side of the palace.

Jar-Jar's overall clumsiness on the battlefield just decimating the battle droid troops is so vindicating for his character ^_^

The way Obi-Wan and Darth Maul's fighting is just so fast after Qui-Gon gets cut down o_o

Qui-Gon's final moments. The way he makes Obi-Wan promise to train Anakin, his final legacy. The way he reaches up one finger to brush against Obi-Wan's cheek. The way Obi-Wan clutches him and presses their foreheads together.... T^T

Qui-Gon's funeral. I don't know, I just really like that the Jedi Council is there, as well as Big Boss Nass, Padme, and even the Chancellor. Qui-Gon deserves that amount of respect.

The final celebration is so full of joy! And of course, Padme looks absolutely gorgeous ^_^

[iftheshoef1tz]

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Sorry for being gone for a few days, I hope you are alright, my dearest secret santa recipient.

I need to tell you something…and this is that I feel like you are reading my mind (which is slightly creepy, but in the case of present planning actually quite fortunate!) I had a story idea in mind that kind of fits perfectly what you answered - the non-fiction aspect, the angst-fluff ratio and mean Eris…just perfect (like you and your blog😏).

And now, since I am your secret santa I obviously don’t come without presents or in that case (at least for now) questions.

Would you mind telling me your favourite tropes, and maybe if you have a favourite line from Azris? Or a line one says about the other? Can of course also be from fanfiction?

And maybe we can also talk about music? Do you have any favourite songs/pieces of music? Ones you love? Ones you can listen to all the time? And maybe also songs you connect with Azris? You can of course also name classical pieces (could be relevant for the story👀).

You can go into as much detail as you want, I love reading your answers and I am still incredibly happy that I get to gift you.

Yours sincerely,

🤶🏻

Oh god, I’m so excited, omg.

Okay, favorite tropes. “Only one bed” is probably one of my ABSOLUTE favorites. And the moment when one of them looks at the other’s mouth before they’ve acknowledge the Tension ™️ between them!! I am also a sucker for the moments where it’s “will they won’t they” and they both clearly want it in that moment, and then something pulls them away from each other. I don’t have a snappy name for that one lmao. As for favorite lines, i don’t think i have any in canon or in fanfiction, but the more romantic/makes-you-want-to-cry poetry lines always get me. Pablo Neruda (Love Sonnet XVII), Mary Oliver (Wild Geese), ee cummings (I Carry Your Heart) etc. (And ofc select Richard Siken poems.)

In terms of artists whose entire catalogue I could listen to on the regular, Vienna Teng (Dreaming Through the Noise especially) and Keane (Under the Iron Sea especially) are up there. I’m a new convert to Taylor Swift, and “Bigger Than the Whole Sky” kills me every time. (So does “Paper Rings,” but for different reasons.) When it comes to classical music, I love basically anything by Shostakovich and Tchaikovsky. The last movement of Strauss’s “Four Last Songs” (Im Abendrot) gives me goosebumps when it’s not making me cry, and I always cry when I listen to Hilary Hahn’s recording of the second movement of the Barber Violin Concerto. I love Oblivion by Astor Piazzolla; but unfortunately my favorite recording is by Joshua Bell. Caroline Shaw’s Partita for 8 Singers changed me the first time I heard it.

I associate Eris with “This Bitter Earth/On the Nature of Daylight” which is a, like, mash up of Dinah Washington and a string quartet playing a different piece (I think?) and it is so achingly perfect that it haunts me.

But Azris songs? Man, where to start lmao. First, DELIRIOUS BY SUSANE SUNDFOR. Gimme! Gimme Gimme! By ABBA. Never Be the Same by Camila Cabello. Desire by Meg Myers. Closer by NIN. Flesh by Simon Curtis. Hatefuck by The Bravery. Touched by Vast. Close by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo. Everytime We Touch by Cascada. Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng. So Heavy I Fell Through the Earth by Grimes. Tongue by MNEK. Middle of the Night by Elley Duhe. I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie. (Strangely, I don’t have any classical pieces that jump out as Azris-coded, mostly just things that make me want to write (which is usually azris lmao))

I think that’s all I’ve got, I could literally go on for hours, tho. I’M SORRY IF IT’S TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Also thank you for calling them pieces?? Most people don’t know to call them that! (Songs have to have words, ofc.) I’m so excited to have you as my secret Santa, sounds like you’ve got some rad ideas kicking around in your noggin!

[tooweirdforyou]

How The OP Boys Say “I Love You” To Their S/O

How You Know He Loves You- idk man

A/N : enjoy.

includes » Ace, Sabo, Luffy, law, Sanji, Zoro, Marco, Rosinante, Kid, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, Izo, Koby, Cavendish,

Summary : the boys’ own way of saying “I love you”, with their own words and ways. Or, how you know he loves you.

? Wait did I do this before? I don’t even know. also these aren’t GREAT, but they aren’t HORRIBLE. Yk? Honestly tho, some of these seem like they’re all over the place, which yes, they might be. UGH IT WAS SO HARD THO.

-

Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy loves you like an adventure. Everything is new and always fun to try with him, and no matter what happens, you don’t ever regret it, because you’re doing it with him.

He’s persistent in staying with you everywhere, he wants to do everything with you. He tends to invite you ( by pulling your hand ) to do crazy things with him and away from the others so you’re alone.

He’s always showing off his skills and stupidity in order to make you laugh, because your smile is the best thing he’s ever seen and giggles are the beautiful sound he treasures.

His actions are genuine when he holds your hand and pulls you to his side all the time, with the warmest, loving grin.

Luffy always makes sure to remind you to never give up hope.

“Let’s go on an adventure together, [Name].”

-

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro loves you like you’re his one and only. No one has priority over you, ( except maybe Luffy ), and you will always be his, if you’ll let him.

Zoro is not a man of many words when it comes to his own emotions and feelings, so he shows it through his actions.

He always has an eye on you, so wherever you are is where he ‘sleeps’ so he can keep you close, his swords at his side to protect you from danger, ( but he knows you can handle yourself. )

Zoro is the perfect person to lend a comforting shoulder and ear. He will listen to every single one of your problems intently and if he can, will offer the best advice you’ll hear, even if it’s a bit harshly. However, whatever got you so down, Zoro will bring you back up.

Zoro is always reminding you that you are strong, no matter how tough things get.

“Oi, come take a nap with me. I could use a body pillow.”

-

Portgas D. Ace

Ace loves you like a gentleman, respecting boundaries, bowing to the elderly you pass by together and always ready to pick you up for your date at seven, bouquet of flowers in hand.

If Ace is good at anything, it’s knowing how to distract you with a good time. He knows the best way to bring a beautiful smile to your lips and can easily make sure to avoid the thoughts that brought you down in the first place.

He’ll share stories that will make you die of laughter or feel so wholesome that you literally melt at how sweet it is.

The few times he expresses and shares his insecurities to you, something he hides within him because he trusts you enough to do so. He loves your understanding and comfort for him.

Ace always reminds you that you’ll be okay, even at the worst times.

“You are the light of my life.”

-

Chief of Staff Sabo

Sabo loves you like a prince. He holds the door for you, takes your hand so you don’t fall, has the most charismatic smile on his face and is just so charming.

Sabo will remember the littlest things, the smallest details that you yourself don’t even know until he reminds you, and because of this, you are often gifted the most memorable and cherishing gifts, like the scarf you two bought for your perfect snowman, to the necklace you were staring a little too longingly at on display.

He’s always busy, but he doesn’t hesitate to drop whatever he has just for you. He will run through fire if it means you’ll stop crying or if you’ll be happy to see him. You are his lifeline, his soul, his love.

He may not know how to properly cheer you up like his brothers can, but he knows that he wants the best for you. If you need space, you got it. You need some tender loving cuddles and buckets of ice cream while watching Disney movies? Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Sabo reminds you that you deserve happiness and peace.

“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

-

Trafalgar D. Water Law

Law loves you like you’re his savior, someone who’s always there during his time of need and insecurities, by his side when he needs you most.

He’s a little blunt and straightforward occasionally, but he’s honest somewhat. He won’t ever tell you his feelings until he deems it the right time, but you can tell he has feelings by the change in treatment.

He’ll keep you closer to him, making excuses by saying that he needs you to help him with the supply run, or that he needs your assistance with a particular menial task.

He’s awkward and shy about it at first but he cares and that’s all you need to know. Especially once you catch him during one of his weaker times, the anniversary of a particular someone rolling around, where he’s locked in his room. He needs you beside him, so please don’t leave him when he needs you.

Law reminds you that you are human, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

“Just stay here with me.”

-

Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji loves you like a god/goddess. He will treat you with the utmost respect and care and offers you everything you could possibly want or need, just say the word.

His genuine, endless daily compliments are given to you with pure love and passion, his daily refreshments and snacks to keep you energized and hydrated keeps an eye out for your health.

He makes sure you know the true meaning of flattery, chivalry and love, because that is all he can show you.

However, under that chivalrous exterior, is his calmer, understanding loving self, where he shows his true self and when he finally shares this side with you, where he holds his insecurities, it’s the true honor and love you can receive. And it’s even better, when you become the one who loves for him in return during this time.

Sanji reminds you that you deserve to be and are loved.

“You are my world, my everything.”

-

Marco The Phoenix

Marco loves you like a married couple who grew old together, still playing jokes and having fun to life’s fullest, no matter your age.

He’s constantly lecturing you for the smallest things repeatedly, since you always seem to forget. His lectures lack any annoyance or malice though, he’s just kind of done with you sometimes.

Nonetheless, he’s taking care of you more than you think, always the first one there whenever you need help. He’s always prepared for whatever you need so you don’t have to look for it and get worried.

He’s stern at times but he loves you more than you could ever know, often questioning himself whenever he’s beside you. He half-lidded eyes watching you with warmth and admiration because you always look so determined.

Marco always reminds you that you are free. To live life to its fullest and however you wish.

“Let me fly you to the moon.”

-

Donquixote Rosinante

Rosinante loves you like a husband, he treats you like his wife, either you or him welcoming each other home after being gone for so long and greeting each other with a loving kiss each time.

He knows just how tough things can be and as much as he tries to make things right, he knows how bad situations really are and no matter how much he wants to cry or get angry, he always holds a smile, in front of you. To assure you that things will be okay.

He gives the warmest hugs, and knows that, so whenever you’re angry or sad, or just randomly at times, Rosi envelops you into a large hug, waddling you back and forth a few times, you feel instant relief and content, which makes him smile.

His priority will always be you, even if he’s hundreds of thousands miles away, he will find his way back home to you. He surprises you with the littlest gifts; being flowers, jewelry, candles, or more.

Rosi will always remind you to smile, even during the hardest times.

“I will protect you.”

-

Eustass Kid

Kid loves you like a game, it’s unexpected, unpredictable of what will happen and it’s exciting and thrilling. For you both, one wrong move, and the other is gone for good, but perhaps, second chances/rematches are available.

He can be brash and a bit much, but Kid has high respect for anyone who actually makes it onto his crew and can actually tolerate him, you included.

He’s loud and wild but that only makes it part of the fun. With such a short fuse, as long as you play your cards right and pick your moments to bite back, it’s kind of fun knowing how dangerous it can be with a guy like Kid, and he also loves it equally, because your feistiness is attractive.

Being a bad bitch that doesn’t play by the rules is so incredibly attractive and Kid knows how to reward and punish so tread carefully. ;) however, he has his down moments and as annoying he can be, he does appreciate the effort you give if you try to comfort him. He’ll be harsh about it but eventually, he just wants you to be with him in the end.

Kid reminds you to rebel, take risks and enjoy the thrill of getting in dangerous situation every once in a while, breaking a few rules doesn’t hurt anybody. Most of the time.

“Don’t fucking ever leave me.. okay?”

-

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk loves you like you’re an empress, only the finest and highest quality for you, nothing else can compare.

Mihawk will buy you the most expensive dress that suits you, with an equally expensive matching jewelry to go with. Not to mention the heels, and, tch, how could he forget the roses you require? Despicable.

As much as he loves to show you off, he despises the stares of awe and admiration you receive whenever you go out, so his possessiveness takes over and he has an arm around your waist at all times, successfully showing you’re taken and to back off if they don’t wish to be cut into oblivion.

He trains you to handle yourself, obviously, you should know at least some basic skills. He’s not too hard on you but does push you to keep going until you truly wish to stop. It’s only because he’s worried that one day, he won’t be there and won’t be able to protect you.

Mihawk reminds you that you are a queen/king, a strong person who shall hold your ground and never back down from fear and show your bravery.

“Come here, mi amor.”

-

Red Haired Shanks

Shanks loves you like you’re his future. It’s an unknown journey, but he’s there for the ride and whatever may happen, he’s there staying and won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with you.

The red head is a goofball, he drinks, parties and messes around but he is an incredible captain and genuine to a fault. So when he expresses kindness, it is purely from his heart and not out of manners.

He is extremely playful and yet when down to business, he is calm, collected, and cool. He knows just what to say in tough situations and great comforting advice, so he’s the one to go to when you’re feeling down. And as laid back as he is, disrespect to those he loves is the one shit he won’t take.

He’ll hold you close and with his signature grin, compliment you and tell you how much he appreciates you and as soon as someone lays a finger on you, his hand is on the hilt of the sword and he waits three seconds for an explanation before he cuts them down. No one messes with his beloved.

Shanks reminds you of loyalty. To always protect and care for those close to you, and keep that built up trust and bond you created with them.

“Trust me. I won’t let go of you.”

-

Charlotte Katakuri

Katakuri loves you like you’re glass, he’s careful, protective, cautious and treats you like you’re fragile, because he’s afraid of hurting you.

He’s larger than most, he’s aware of that, so he always takes the precautions to be aware of his surroundings, especially when you are around. He wants you safe and he will be devastated if he is the cause of your pain.

His large stature is a blessing to you though, because cuddling is so comfortable and comforting, it’s amazing. You can curl up and relax and just be at ease with him, because he’s so protective of you, even from his family members. He often keeps you away from Cracker and Perospero, in the slightest chance that they try to take you away from him.

He’ll be extremely heartbroken if Big Mom doesn’t approve of you, but his love for you is stronger, so he’ll keep it a secret if he has to but eventually, he’ll pray and wish for her blessing, asking the help of his siblings to convince her.

Katakuri reminds you of family, that even friends or crewmates are family and love you all the same.

“I will be here for you.”

-

Captain Koby

Koby loves you like a typical high school crush. He’s all shy and blushy, and evidently embarrassed when the pretty one at school is talking to him, ( that’s you. ).

He’s like the wallflower type, who tries to blend in but somehow, he sticks out in a way that lures you to him, like he’s hit the jackpot.

He is incredibly sweet, and his shyness is so adorable. You can’t help but coo whenever you see his red cheeks and soft smile of care he offers.

Always helps you with everything, will take the blame whenever you get in trouble, takes the suffering and pain when guys try to mess with you, and no matter how tough things get, he’s holding a brave face for you.

Koby reminds you of kindness, treat everyone with care and kindness, and it goes a long way.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

-

16th Division Commander Izo

Izo loves you like you’re a painting, he thinks you are true beauty, inside and out, you are a work of art, a true Mother Nature masterpiece born. One to be admired.

The type to be there. He’ll hold your hair while you vomit, rubbing soothing circles on your back while you cry, painting your nails while you complain about Ace, assure your perfection when you’re feeling insecure.

Best advice giver, holds no judgements at all. He’ll help with anything, because you need him. Romantic advice, friendship, sexual advice ;), he will help you any way he can.

He truly admires you, not because of your beauty, but your strength to be able to cry. Crying doesn’t mean weakness but rather, strength to be able to move forward even in the worst of times.

Izo reminds you that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks or says.

“You are true beauty, my love.”

-

Cavendish Of The White Horse

Cavendish loves you like you’re a princess, and he is your handsome Prince Charming.

Every thing he does it like from a fairytale, if it involved a rather.. bit of a narcissistic Prince Charming. But he means well, because he still treats you like a real princess.

He gives you daily horseback rides, teaching you with his strong arms wrapped around yours and his black fancy hat on top of your head, as you two ride around and share laughs and memories.

And even through his big ego, he still makes sure to compliment you, tell you how proud he is of you and how much he truly admires you for your strong will and determination, because he really does love you. More than you know.

Cavendish reminds you that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and effort.

“I will treat you like the princess you are and deserve to be.”

-

A/N : 15 fucking people and having to think of different things while I’m distracted is so HARD. 😭 please tell me you enjoyed though ;-;

but did I do this already? God I can’t remember a thing, especially since I still haven’t updated my masterlists- and I’m terribly sorry if this really is all over the place ;-; also apologies if this is repetitive for some of them! It really is difficult yk ;-;