#i TRIED to work on leveling some. see my challenge enemies are all super easy

[orcelito]

Tfw u are Vastly outnumbered. Half your units are down, Including your tank, one of your healers, your singer, one of your flyers....

Down to one healer, one flyer, and one royal (important bc he's the only one who can activate the dragon veins lol)

But you decide. I'm Gonna Try To Win It Anyways

And guess what I managed to do lmao. Thank god it was just a commander defeat for win condition rather than enemy routing. But Man lmfao these maps just keep getting harder and harder. I'm enjoying it ngl

[natsukitakama]

Hey you <3 I just wanted to request a headcanon for the 104th cadets, please : how do they act while playing co-op games (you know, the kind you have to resolve some kind of enigmas, like pressing two buttons at the same time, etc) with their s/o ? Thanks a lot !

Author note : hi there ❤️ thank you for your request hope you’ll enjoy this ♡ Somehow I described them as a gamer ? Hope you’re fine with that, I actually really enjoy this 

i do not own those gifs credit to the owner(s)

Warning : rage quit / eren is litteraly me / Modern AU cause the canon-verse suck Lmao / I based this on my own experience 

Masterlist

Eren Jaeger - impulsive 

How did you not end up dumping him ? The man is DANGEROUS 

You think that he is all screaming and yelling like all the FUCKING time ? 

Play a game with him 

Spoiler : it’s worst 

I mean at first he saw this as a challenge and just getting the possibility to do play a game with you ? 

He couldn’t say no to that 

The thing he just took this way to personally, so he had to finish this with the best score getting the things you had to unlock during a game. 

He had to 

Doesn’t mean you want to.

The whole idea of co-op game is to play together in order to finish the game

But he didn’t hear that : he wants to do everything by himself 

And when he can’t do it he would ask some help.

Don’t expect him to be good with synchro-enigma he can’t he is either too quick or too late. 

I’m sorry to say that but he might complain about your game (while he was the one who is losing all the heart because he can’t read an enigma properly) 

And you see me coming but if can’t resolve an enigma and if you can’t help him he would just stop and won’t play at this game until he feels like he can do it 

Oh and he sucks at game like Overcooked you know those kind of things were you’re supposed to work at the same Time as his partners he is either too slow either too quick (but always pretend he isn’t his fault) 

Don’t think I mentioned that but he cursed a lot, he complained a lot (to my fellow frenchie he is like Sardoche in real life I don’t make the rule here) 

7/10 because it’s funny to see him being angry at a game 

Mikasa - skilful

i wanted to say that if you’re not eren she won’t play with you LMAO 

But if she is dating you, she would do it because she wants to please you and spend some good quality time with you (she is not a fan of video game but she can tolerate some RPG) 

She tends to be quiet while playing and only speaks when she got an idea about how to solve enigma or difficult game who implies being coordinate. 

You didn’t have to anything in such mission she will synchronise her game with you don’t question her. I don’t know how she is doing it but she can no matter if you tend to push way to quickly every button or if you’re a slow one. One look from her and she does it 

She is really god any games it piss me off

When you struggle at an enigma that you decided to resolve on your own she will either give you tiny tips or just ask you to just stop right now get some tea and try again later when you’ll be more relax 

The only problem with her is she wants to help so much that she might do everything on her own especially if one of your mission imply fighting (like kill a boss together to unlock another level) she would quickly get over it without questioning you and you end up getting so many xp and items while you didn’t ever touch anything 

She wants to help you so much poor thing ♡ 

Also if you’re hurt during a game or if you life are pretty low she would stop everything in order to heal you. Even if it’s very cute from her, it piss you off cause now you have to start again because both of you died together. 

9/10 she is the best she cooks cookie prepare some tea for you. 

Armin - strategic 

i love him I really do 

But you can’t play with him 

He needs to make a plan on every mission, Like sweetie just relax you need to chill a little bit. 

Although he tends to overthink everytime He is very good when your goal is to kill a boss, cause he will do two jobs : healing and helping you to kill him. Give him 5 min and he will give you a whole tactics so you can fight the boss easily and earn even more xp. He won’t be afraid to go and heal you too if you’re in need and would never judge you if you’re struggling (even if he guides you during the game) he understand that the game is pretty difficult. 

He is good to with enigma like it’s just sound quite easy for him. All he has to do is read the thing and BANG he got the solution how can you do that ?

He will even explain the whole thing so you could also resolve enigma with him 

The problem is he is way too slow, if your level implies being coordinate it would take you forever until being able to finish the game. Especially because he is not comfortable with a joystick like they got way too many button and he is not good with coordination so he ends up being confused with the button 

When it came to videotgameswhere all of you have to work in coordination, he is always slow. He really tries but he is always way too slow, but he counterbalances his lack of skills with his minds so after you’ll lose because he couldn’t manage to do something within 30s he’ll find a solution to win 

It’s really funny to play a cop-game with him on Fortnite cause he’s like « y/n why would you play at such a game ? What’s the point of killing people ? » and he is the one who is throwing a grenade and shoot at the same time so a lot of people can dies with one shot or planing a trap so a lot of people might die at the same time. He is very dangerous when he wants to just saying. 

8/10 because sometimes mind isn’t enough and you need skill to win 

Jean - Skill and minds 

Do not let him play with Eren 

I swear don’t do it otherwise they would spend the whole game yelling at each other « you should come quicker Horse face ! » « Oh yeah ? Who’s the one who though that would be wise to attack the boss without getting heal first uh ? Such an idiot bastard » 

It’s not comfortable if you’re playing while being on the phone but it’s so funny to see him getting angry because Eren (as usual) run without thinking about a plan

Like Armin he tends to be very good when it came to resolve enigma or find an enemy’s weakness : all he has to do is to let Eren, Connie and Sasha run at first so he could analyze the boss’ behavior (yeah he totally uses them as guinea pig and he doesn’t regret that especially when he hears Eren getting Angry or Connie complaining it’s so funny) 

Unlike Armin he is pretty food with a controller so he can actually being very efficient as long as Mikasa isn’t around 

He tends to be close to you EVERYTIME and he would even protect you, heal you everytime you got hurt because you protects Connie, Eren or Armin, it’s cute at first but very annoying then because he only focus on you and isn’t into the game anymore. When he turns like that, someone need to tease him about not being good like Eren and he will scream a little bit (how dare you as if he could even be worst than that suicidal bastard) but then he is on it. 

Watch him beating the shit out of the boss 

BUT when it came to games like overcooked when you have to share task he is bad. Not because he isn’t skillful but because he wants to be the chief so badly and of course Eren thought he could be the leader while everyone knows he isn’t coordinate enough to do that. So most of the time Armin is the leader in such a game 

Just give him a task where he has to be quick and he’ll be fine but don’t let him in the same group as Eren, they would argue about who should to this and you’ll end up losing because they argue. 

Also if you’re playing something like a RPG with him he gave you SO MANY things like everytime he drop something this is for you, at this point he doesn’t care about his character (he does but he can’t just not give you something) 

You didn’t ask it but I’m just say it, if you play animal crossing with him he would spoil the shit out of you, can’t blame him he just wants to help so badly. He’ll text you about his plan, the stuff he got he would even help you with flowers. 

8/10 because he tends to flirt with you or argue with Eren so you’ll lose precious time for the mission 

Connie & Sasha - Funny 

I put them together because 1) they tends to play everytime together 2) because they play the same way 3) they share one braincell (meaning either you’re dating connie or Sasha you’ll have to play together) 

One word : a mess 

Always questionnaire why we’re doing this or why we shouldn’t do this, this way 

BUT they’re like very synchronized, it’s like seeing someone and his reflection (sometimes you’re even jealous cause you can’t do that)

They tends to be very effective when you need to coordinate something 

They’re pretty skilled too 

But they can’t make a plan even to save their life 

The number of life you’ll lose because them and Eren decided to run into the boss’ lair without asking permission 

It should be illegal to run that easily anyway 

If Connie is really dumb when It came to enigma 

Sasha is very good to notice tiny elements that actually was the key to resolve the problem 

She tends to be super good to drop every tiny things that was hide behind a tree too a really hunt (but won’t share her things with you if you’re not giving her puppy eyes I’m sorry) 

But Connie is your best allies to fight couple of ennemie at the same time, like you were walking and boom you’re surrounded by NPC and he will come to save you. 

Connie is a protector 

I mean Sasha is too but she more into prevention, safety than protection but if during a game you might be in danger of course she’ll run after you (ask you extra cookies for that) 

Dont expect any of them to be good at enigma or games like overcooked, I mean Sasha might spend her whole call luring about foods while Connie might try to do everything on his own since he is incredible (he says it) 

If you’re calling one of them during a game, it’s actually more entertaining than the game, I can’t explain they’re just super funny

If you’re playing in a RPG that might have a huge map you’ll definitely lose them at some point during your game, they don’t have any sense of direction and since they can’t read a map (that’s me don’t bully me I’m trying) well they get lost and will send you a picture of their screen so you could help them  

6/10 because they’re trying to their best but since they share one brain cell well it’s always more complicated than it should be 

Bonus : Marco Bott - Motivating 

My cute sweetheart 

He is doing is best everytime you call him for a game 

He is so good at overcooked than I’m jealous of him 

Kinda good with Enigma but he is really good when game imply strategic (he also loves how focused you are and how he could motivate you with his plan) 

He doesn’t play at any games that involve war or anything so don’t ask him about a fortnite game he won’t do it 

He really love role-play (not put intended lmao), he is actually a good narrator and is so good at at owning xp : his character might not be the greatest when it came to strength but he is very balanced character 

Playing with him it’s actually relaxing, he never raise his voice and seemed to always find a way to relax anyone that might be too into it. 

Especially good when It came to help Eren and Jean to just shut up and play the game without yelling : don’t ask me how he does that the man is a genius 

If he teams up with Armin during game like Among us you loose any chance to win (I mean if you’re the traitor he would never say it but he noticed so does Armin but won’t say anything about it) the man knows everything, and is able to make you confess it’s really fun to watch but bother you when you’re loosing yourself in your explanation 

When it’s just you two playing a game together and somehow you struggle to resolve an enigma or a level, don’t worry your boyfriend Marco he is

The best cheerleader in the whole univers fight me on this 

+100 ego boost for Y/N 

In the end your resolve that damn enigma 

10/10 yeah I’m not impartial but I love him 

[mk-wizard]

Big Hero 6 The Series: It could have been better

Hello, friends. Today, I will be analyzing a TV series based on a movie that I fell in love with for its colourful themes, deep plot, compelling characters, great CGI and memorable messages. Before I get into it, I want to take a moment to say that I have quit doing videos. They are too big of a pain in the petunia to make and I write better than I speak, so I will stick to writing essays, reviews and more. Anyway, onto the analysis.

All I can say about Big Hero 6 the series is that it had a great concept, it presented some great ideas and tried hard to be a cartoon of the times, but it could have and should have been a lot better. The show’s downfall all centers around trying too hard to be kid friendly which makes the shame sting all the more because Big Hero 6 was already kid friendly even with its dark themes, sharp edges and intelligent writing. If anything, even the brightest kid friendly cartoons (Steven Universe, She-Ra, etc.) had those things and actually benefitted from them. By needlessly trying too hard, character development got scrapped, the edges were all smoothed out, storytelling was subpar, the humour was too silly and the executive meddling in the end produced a dismal final season. However, I don’t want this analysis to be one lengthy negative rant about how awful the series was because in its defense, awful is an unfair word. It did have potential and ideas which are worth carrying over to a reboot that I hope will be done someday in the future. Also, we should root for a reboot because Big Hero 6 would not be the first story that needs it before striking gold. Just look at how many times Spider-Man was rebooted in film before MCU found the version that worked. Anyway, I will list all the things in Big Hero 6 that could have been better in my opinion;

1- Go easy on the laughs and be more generous with the action. - I love adding comedy to my own writing because I think a good sense of humour makes everything better, but Big Hero 6 is not a stand up comedy routine. It is a superhero story where we expect action, suspense and life or death situations that are to be taken seriously first. The comedy should be for relief and with the right timing. Also, the chibi cutscenes and having characters act like fools aren’t funny. Ren and Stimpy are the exception not the standard and their way of making you laugh doesn’t fit an action series. In a show as big as Big Hero 6, real life physics and danger matters.

2- Make the villains menacing and gritty. - I admit that after having a movie villain like Yokai who was the stuff of nightmares, it is going to be a challenging act to follow, but it was obvious that the writers were trying especially with some villains who could have easily gone into some dark relatable territory. For example, Mr. Sparkles (the gentleman in the photo above) embodies social media and Internet personalities. Right off the bat, you have a long list of things which embody the dark side of that like scams, fraud, using social media to dox or harass, driving people to suicide, online predators, the Internet personalities being very depressed people in real life, and much more horrifying things. When you stop and look at it, Mr. Sparkles even looks like the Joker which hints how dark and scary he could have been if the stops were removed. The same goes for enemies like Hardlight who embodies online gaming, Liv with cloning, Obake an amoral and insane scientist, and Trina and Noodle Burger Boy (more on him later) being evil robots. Globby especially should have been painted and written in much darker colours rather being played off for laughs because he has many parallels with Clay Face. The only two villains who I can say were supposed to be campy, charming and comical were Baron Von Steamer and Supersonic Sue because they were a satire of the Adam West style villains.

The rest of them needed to be dark and threatening including Mr. Sparkles. In fact, I would love a rebooted version of Mr. Sparkles who gives me the heebie-jeebies. Going back to Noodle Burger Boy, I must confess that I was actually excited when I heard that he was going to be the main villain of the final season because I thought he was going to fulfill his master’s final wish and as a reminder, Noodle Burger Boy was based on a super robot for military purposes.

It would have been fantastic if Noodle Burger Boy was upgraded into a full military war machine with a new threatening look. For that, I think all of the villains deserve to be rebooted and have their full potential unlocked for better or for worse.

3- A show about geniuses merits genius level art quality. - I am usually forgiving towards art styles, but in the case of Big Hero 6, the oversimplified style with minimal details and lack of textures did not suit the show. The characters blend in with the background which makes them look flat and the special effects were extremely dulled down. I also know for a fact that Disney can do a lot better than this because I saw how superbly Tangled the Series was drawn.

You can see and almost feel the difference in quality, the number of layers and level of detail between the two styles. I think there was no excuse Big Hero 6 was not done in the same style and at the same level if not better as Tangled.

3- Don’t dumb down or flanderize amazing characters. - I absolutely detest it when characters are flanderized because it makes them one dimensional and grating. For example, Go Go is tough as nails and extremely calm, but she is not cold or hesitant towards helping her friends. She doesn’t require very special episodes for us to know that. If anything, the movie version of Go Go reminded me a lot of Garnet in how she deconstructed the broody character. She isn’t cold or emotionless. Just calm and mature. Another good example was how Honey Lemon was rewritten to be overly positive to the point of toxicity, naïve and oblivious with a juvenile obsession with stickers. Then you have poor Fred who was rewritten to be an incompetent fool. The spark that makes Big Hero 6 shine is that they are a team of geniuses meaning they are all intelligent. Even Fred is genius in his own way just not a scientific one. He has a vivid imagination, he is resourceful and can get himself out of tight spots. Please, don’t turn characters into dummies especially if their intelligence is a part of them. It doesn’t make them better or funnier. It ruins them.

4- Tadashi needs closure and honour. - I am all for Hiro making peace with the loss of his brother, but Tadashi is to the Big Hero 6 team what Uncle Ben was to Spider-Man. His loss was the catalyst if not the reason. He should never be forgotten. Moreover, there was never any true closure to him especially with the possibility that he may still be alive up in the air. After all, like Callaghan, his body was never found and it turned out that Callaghan was still alive.

With that said, who is to say that Tadashi was not secretly still alive and just hiding or being hidden? This is something that Disney really needed to clear up if not for the fans, then at least as a service to such an important character. Never just forget about them.

5- The format can only be episodic with a deep plots, continuity and character development. - Random episodes with a mere monster of the day is an outdated format which doesn’t fit Big Hero 6′s modern and bright setting. In seasons 1 and 2, when the episodes were plot heavy with character development, the series shined brightest. It also helped move the story along, but with the final season, plot was removed, closure was abandoned or poorly written if any was given, and characters were disallowed from growing. A good example at how plot and character development could have made this series and its characters better was the relationship between Hiro and Megan. Would it have truly survived or would they have broken up?

Would Richardson Mole have eventually lost interest in his obsession with besting and bullying Fred or would his obsession consume him compelling him to become a super villain? I do see quite a few similarities between Mole and Reverse Flash.

Then you have Karmi who is in my opinion, the biggest wild card of the bunch. She was intentionally introduced as an arrogant, prickly and unlikable yet complex character who rivaled Hiro bitterly.

Yet had a huge crush on his alter ego and as time went on, started to grow up and even form a friendship with Hiro. What would have happened further down the road with her? Would she have become a super hero herself? Or maybe even another love interest for Hiro kind of like how Black Cat is for Spider-Man?

Is Obake really gone?

What does the future hold Diana (Liv’s clone), Liv herself or the Sycorax the genetics company?

Is Alistair Krei going to become an ally to Big Hero 6 or an antagonist? There is also the issue at how little we know about the other Big Hero 6 characters other than Fred, Hiro and Baymax. What are Honey Lemon, Wasabi and Go Go’s backstories? These questions matter and while not every mystery can be solved, leaving none of them solved is lazy writing.

6- Executives, kindly stay out of the writing and any other part of the creative process. - I’m sorry, execs, but there is no nice way to say it. History itself proves that every time executives got involved in the creative process of any media, it got worse not better. Leave the writing to the creative team and the execs should only handle the legal stuff. Please. We understand that TV is a business, but writing itself is not. It is an art which you just don’t have a talent for. Let the creative people do their thing with the freedom necessary and you do your thing, deal? Deal.

7- Focus on Hiro and Baymax. - The are the main characters so keep them at the heart of the series no matter what happens around them. That is all I can say.

And that sums up all the things that could have made Big Hero 6 the series better, but this is all just my opinion. What is yours?

PS: I am well aware that the Big Hero 6 series is being retconned because a new series called Baymax is in the works as well as the long awaited sequel to the first movie. I am looking forward to both with an open mind. PPS: I also am aware that some people liked this show the way it was including the art style and I am cool with that. An analysis for art that includes cartoons is never right or wrong. It is solely based on opinion. I may have thought this series could have been better, but there are people who make arguments that it could have been worse.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2020 Anime Overview

I started out watching the a ton of anime for the Fall 2020 season, but then ended up not being caught up with most of them by the the time the end rolled around. I still pretty much intend to catch up with Yashahime Princess Half Demon someday (I do like the three leads, it just the plot’s been dull as dirt and the fights aren’t very inspired either) and though I dropped Wandering Witch after bad press started rolling in (I CANNOT deal with pointless tragedy in my current state of mind) I might check out a few more episodes someday just to from my own opinion. For now, let’s just quickly review the anime I DID manage to finish on time this season.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle is exactly what it says on the tin: Princess Syalis isn’t too bothered about being captured by demons and locked in their castle, but she does value a good night’s sleep, and she is absolutely ruthless when it comes to getting it- so ruthless, in fact, that the demons realized it might not be that she’s trapped in here with them, but that they’re trapped in here with her.

Sleepy Princess is top tier comedy comfort food. It rarely got a huge belly laugh, but it always but a smile on my face and was a great thing to watch before going to bed. Syalis’s single-minded search for some shut eye is a joke that could have gotten old very quickly, but the show consistently found creative ways to expand on the gags and build it’s world and a fun cast of characters along the way. 

Though Syalis is downright brutal to the demons when it comes to getting what she wants (and has a knack for getting herself killed at well), thanks to a demon cleric that offers easy resurrections, you never feel too bad for anyone involved. In fact, the demons and Syalis form a strangely heartwarming bond over the course of the show , and it’s clear by the end that Syalis definitely has the ability to come and go if she damn well pleases and just finds this castle a fun place where she can find respite from her princessly responsibilities. 

A nice bonus for those of us who like a little subversion is that the show has a lot of fun playing with standard adventure tropes- the demons often lament that Syalis is not at all what they expected from a captive princess, for one, but my favorite fun little twist is how Syalis feels about the hero currently on a (seemingly endless) quest to rescue her- she manages to both hold him in contempt AND consistently fail to remember his name. That level of disregard takes some impressive effort.

The show has the same director as the Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun anime and as such has a similarly nice comic and visual flourishes throughout. It definitely gets two sleepy thumbs up for me.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Jujutsu Kaisen follows a young man named Yuuji Itadori who, after tangling with a demon, ends up with one inside him. With a death sentence hanging over his head, he’s inducted into a school for “jujutsu sorcerers”, and begins training to use his newfound powers to defeat demons and curses.

Jujutsu Kaisen quickly tells you on no uncertain terms it is Action Shonen, introducing a huge cast of a characters and powers and super high stakes and hey there’s even gonna be a tournament arc soon. It is really, really pretty to look at, with a killer opening and ending, some seriously great animation and cool visuals for the fights especially. But is it particularly memorable otherwise? Noooooot really, so far. The sea of technobabble it tends to descend into when trying to explain how the various powers work often has me zoning out and wishing they’d just let me watch the pretty punches. The villains and the general plot isn’t particularly compelling. The characters are nice enough, but haven’t given me much to be attached to so far. Though I do appreciate this one dude who is the embodiment of millennial ennui:

I’ll keep watching though, because it is a visually stunning, action-y thing to my turn your brain off to and god knows I want to turn my brain off all the time lately. 

And the characters do have potential- the One Girl of the main group, Nobara, has a really fun personality in that she’s a total shitlord doofus brawler who can thus doof around with our equally dumbass protagonist, which is an pretty fun, unusual personality for the One Girl to have! Her interactions with Maki, the weapons expert senpai girl, are promising too. I’m just waiting for her to actually, you know, DO something that really shows off her skills- I’m told she DOES eventually get to (gasp) win fights on her own and do cool stuff, but so far show has kind at that of failed miserably and underused her like most action shonen underuse their girls. Plus, taking Yuuji out of the group for such a long stretch seems like a weird choice, we’ve been deprived really seeing him for relationships with his peers. The pacing seems off. But maybe the upcoming tournament arc will make up for that and actually be worthwhile!

Talentless Nana

In a world where kids with superpowers are sent to island schools to fight mysterious “enemies of humanity”, one class of such kids is thrown into chaos when they find themselves targeted by a deadly force.

It’s pretty much impossible to talk about Talentless Nana without discussing how it deviates dramatically from what its premise appears to be in episode one, so I’ll just say if you like stories with superpowers and intrigue, you should definitely sit through that first episode and see if the plot that’s eventually revealed is something that you’re here for. But if you want to avoid spoilers, DON’T GO BELOW THE CUT, because I’m about to get very spoilery.

Basically, Talentless Nana pulls a bait and switch, starting it’s first episode posing as generic superhero anime where the protagonist appears to be your standard meek-but-powerful anime boy (Nanao) who just needs some support and encouragement from a pink haired mind reading manic pixie dream girl (Nana) to unlock his self-confidence and ~true power~ (ugh)...only to take SHARP swerve when  Nana ruthlessly murders Nanao and reveals she’s been sent by the government to take out the superpowered kids one by one because THEY are the considered the true enemies of humanity. Oh, and she doesn’t have any superpowers, or “talents”- she was just able to sus out everything Nanao was thinking through basic deductive reasoning because he was so flippin’ obvious and basic.

As my love for a certain character in a certain game may have clued people into, I am ALWAYS delighted when what appears to be a generic, underwritten girlfriend character is then revealed to be an interesting, ruthless mastermind. And having an anime appear to be about a bland boy with a Dream Girlfriend but then actually turn into a show about a deeply cynical, morally dubious girl who’s clearly holding down a lot of messy feelings as she considers everyone her enemy...well, it may be a cheap trick to some, but it also feels a little bit like justice for all the underwritten female characters sacrificed to bland male leads. It’s still rare enough that I dig it when it happens. And the metatext of Nana zeroing in on this kid as the most standard of main character boys, assessing him as the biggest threat because of it and knowing the perfect way to take him out, is pretty inherently funny to me.

But if the show JUST banked on that twist and was about Nana brutally and cynically slaughtering these kids, it would get boring quickly and Nana would be a bland character herself. Fortunately, it doesn’t go that route. Nana struggles and grows a lot over the course of the show. She finds opposition in transfer student Kyoya, a stoic (and socially awkward) young man who pretty quickly becomes suspicious of her. A lot of the tension from the early episodes comes from her sweating as she tries to outmaneuver him and she makes plenty of mistakes along the way. She also slowly but surely starts to question her mission, and we get an idea of her backstory and how the government specifically has groomed her into believing people with powers to be evil. That belief is one that’s challenged by her friendship with another girl, and it’s pretty rewarding to watch Nana’s feelings and world expand little by little.

The show is definitely a little schlocky-some of the plots (as well as the general premise of the government thinking this is the optimal way to get rid of their superpowered kids problem) fall apart if you think too much about them, and some of the kids Nana goes up against are sleazy and unlikeable in over the top ways (which makes it easy for her to stick to her convictions all these kids deserve to die at first). In particular, I have to give a heads up for some sleazy guys doing and saying sleazy things, though the show never gets too overbearing or graphic with it (and the gore is generally PG-13 level as well). 

Basically. There are some truly ridiculous happenings in this show. But how ridiculous and pulpy and over the top it is can be part of the appeal, and it’s fun to just sit back and watch the spectacle of Nana and her peers head-scratching machinations. 

So, while certainly not an anime with airtight construction or flawless quality and depth, I found Nana an overall entertaining watch, especially as a fan of cat-and-mouse murder-y shenanigans, and thought it has a very compelling main character and managed to end on a heartwrenching (but earned) note. I definitely wouldn’t say no to a second season and would be interested to see where things go from here.

[tanakavox]

Look into the mutiverse chapter 4

Thanks again to ExiledDarkness for writing the charcters reaction for this chapter. Please go check out his stuff. And if your wondering where Qrow came from, We forgot to add a scene for Qrow and didn't feel like going back.

This chapter is based of the Youtuber SomecallmeJohnny and his review of Super Mario 64. I had to cut it short because my laptod was acting up again and google docs was acting wonky, parts of the fic getting erased. Rest assure for the Somecallmejohnny fans, I won't just do his reviews. I have plans to do Super gaming bros reaction as well. And for those who don't know Johnny, go check him! Enjoy the reaction.

The screen lights up again and shows Jaune wearing a cap and hoodie and sitting on a bright red couch. He had a bit of stubble on his face and he was currently holding a controller in his hand as he turned on a device known as the N64.

"Oh? Jaune looks good with stubble." Blake comments. Everyone looks at Jaune and then back to the one on the screen. They all nodded in agreement.

"It's a go time! Super Mario 64!" He said in a high pitched voice with a bad accent.

The Jaune on the screen sighed seemingly tired. "Lady and Gents welcome back to the Super Mario marathon, And just like with Ocarina of time, this is a game that haunted me during the N64 lifetime. Jaune looked the the N64 sitting on his dresser and continued. "It was like the console itself was actively mocking me like: "Hey Jauney? How about you ditch that playstation and try me out instead?" The blonde's eyes lit up in anger. "Well I didn't have a job in 1996 you sensitive prick!" Jaune snapped at the console.

Everyone blinked at the sudden anger. Ruby turned towards JNPR and asked, "Are you okay Jaune?"

Jaune, still frozen from the sudden burst of anger from his other self, snaps back to reality and nods at the question. "Yeah, I think I understand what's happening here. But I'll stay quiet until I know for sure."

Jaune turned toward the screen and went on like nothing happened. "Last time I gave Mario attention, I was focused on what made the Italian "Plumber—"" He said with quotation marks. "—the video game icon he is today. Now we're gonna do it again only in 3d."

Jaune turned to his audience and smiled. "You guys ready for another Super Mario marathon?"

"Aha!" Jaune says as he slammed his closed fist on his hand. "This is me doing video games!"

Ren paused at hearing this information. "Then that explains the sudden burst of anger then." Nora and Jaune nod while the rest of the audience looks on confusedly.

RWBY look at each other before Yang hesitantly asks, "So why did he get so angry?"

Jaune laughs before scratching the back of his head. "I like video games but I hate it when I can't progress further into the game. Sometimes I get really into it, I guess."

"Here we go, Super Mario 64, the 64 being figureded to the console and not the 64 game in the series, Mario's first 3d game, and a launch title for the N64. It was highly praised and hailed as the 3d version of what Super Mario bros on the NES did for platemors at the time, Mario 64 did the same. But I came into the 64 train late, So I don't have what you call: Super Mario 64 memories. In fact my first 3d Mario game was the next game we'll be looking at: Super Mario Sunshine on the GameCube. Jaune's expression darkened as he smiled hurmlousy. "But that can wait. Oh it can wait." The tone of his voice was bitter and venomous.

Everyone laughed now knowing the context of Jaune's anger towards video games.

"Alright booting the game up and the first thing you see is Mario's head. You know to really hammer in that this is Mario's first 3d adventure. You can even fuck around with the face a bit but it doesn't really effect the game it's just there for fun.

We're also greeted by Mario's new voice, provided by Charles Margent. Shockingly this isn't his debut as the Jumpman, that was in Mario Fundamental, a Pc game released a year before. Pretty sure no one heard of it before someone did a document on it.

"This idea of a floating Mario head, perhaps more infamously in Mario teaches typing two. A floating deformed head pop on the screen.

"Hey? Are you ready for Mario type?" It asked.

"Mother of God." Jaune deadpan in horror.

"Despite the new voice, Mario doesn't speak much. It's mostly hiyas woohoos throughout the game. And he only speaks a full phase when he completes a goal or he falls asleep on the job. It shows the red clad mario on the ground sleeping.

"Ha spatgai, Ha ravioli." The plumber mutters in his sleep.

Nora drools over the names of food. They sound pretty good right now.

"Charles as Mario is so absorbed into my head I can't imagine anyone else doing the role. It's not like the acting is amazing or anything, he's been voicing Mario for nearly 20 years at this point. If Charles stepped out of the role for any reason, the next guy would just try to simulate Charles' voice.

"It's weird that way," Ren piped up, "No matter what happens people are going to remember the original no matter how much the new one tries to be the old one.

"Hear hear ninja boy" Qrow cheered a bit and took a swig of his beer.

"Okay nearly forgot that I was looking at a video game, Sorry about that. Well let's look at that plot shall we?"

"I'm curious to hear about the kind of story this game might have," Ozpin said as he crosses his legs.

"Boswer kidnaps Princess Peach, Mario must go save her, now that didn't take long now did it?"

Ozpin blinked and sat back in his seat, a bit disappointed.

"I'll let it slide this time since they probably wanted to keep it safe for the first game in 3d. Hell, the menu theme is the main theme for the series."

Qrow snorts. "Fair enough. I guess you can't expect these guys to be that ballsy."

The entire game is set in Peach's castle. Boswer has taken the power star, which I believe gives the castle power? Jaune shrugged. I dunno what they do, it's not really explain and getting more powerstar allows you to get into more levels, and that's the name of the game here. Bowser had set up routine courses in painting.

"The courses tend to varies but nothing here gets too crazy like other Mario games. It's not until late game you go to more odd place like in a clocktower or riding rainbow.

"The game's openness is the first thing you'll take note of in Mario 64. You can start a mission with a hint on what to do,but there is nothing stopping you from just doing a different mission and grabbing the star despite not being the mission you clicked on.

There are a handful of expectations like racing against against Koopa the quick who not gonna show up unless you chose his mission, but most of the time you can go at it on your own pace. Eh, I didn't wanna fight King Bo-mb yet, I want free the chain chomp and get the star there. I could take down King twop, or I could do a well place jump and get this unrelated power star. And that's where a lot of Mario's replay value comes in, not just getting the power star but how you get them.

"Oh, this game sounds fun! I should get it if we ever get out of here." Nora exclaimed.

"With what money Nora?" Jaune asked. Nora looked at Jaune with a wide smile. "No." Jaune deadpan. Nora pouted at his response and turned to Ren with a wide smile.

"No Nora. And do not ask Weiss either." Ren said with his eyes still on the screen and Nora pouted again.

Peach's castle acts as a hub world, the place you're exploring and using to get to other stages to get more power stars. But in order to duke it out with Bowser, you need to get a certain amount of power stars to access the level. As a guy who doesn't care for hub worlds I don't mind Peach's castle. The levels aren't too far apart and there are things you can do in the castle that can help you increase your star count. Like a secret race track that gives you two stars if you're fast enough, or an underwater level that contains an easy to get star. It challenges you in a way that makes it still feel like a Mario game.

"It sounds pretty easy at first glance, but I can understand how annoying it can become if you mess up at least once or twice." Jaune says. Ruby, Nora, and even Ren nod in agreement.

The biggest change to the formula was the jump to 3d, like with Ocarina of Time. He still has to break boxes, stomp on enemies, the works but this game gave the man a few extra moves to go along with the change to 3d. The analog stick is used to move Mario, the further you tilled it the faster he moves, instead of the run button we knew from the past game. Mario still has the jumps he's famous for, but pressing the jump button can allow Mario to reach the heights he's never seen until this game without a power up. He can crouch and crawl but I've only used this a total of once. But you standstill and jump you can do a backflip, and if you crouch and run you can do a long jump which I love using so much and because you can do some real fancy shit with it, and it makes Mario move faster to boot. If you snap the anlong back and jump he can do a somersault and if you jump towards a wall, Mario can wall jump as well.

Nora makes a face at the detailed review. "All these moves and stuff sound annoying. Why can't games be as simple like they are now?!"

Ren sighs and begins to explain but Qrow cuts in. "It's because of games like these were like test models that you get to play the good quality games you have now. I remember playing Soaring Ninja back when he was literally unplayable and useless. Now look at him!"

Ruby and Yang gasp, Soaring Ninja was unplayable?

"I wouldn't be surprised if this move came from the gameboy version of Donkey kong. That remake has a fucklord of levels and a handstand jump for Mario. He still takes damage if he falls too far, so he's just a pale imitation. Jaune had Mario wall jump a wall to prove a point. "The Mario I know could fall from any height and take no dam-" Jaune cut himself off his eyes widening when he heard Mario grunt in pain and his health go down a bit. "WHAT THE FUCK! He took damage from a large height! Mario! What's the meaning of this?" He asked in bewilderment, looking at the floating Mario head from earlier."

"Oh nice computer you have here. Can I have it?" the Mario head asked

"No!" Jaune exclaimed.

Everyone's eyes widened at the scene. Ozpin checked his mug with scrutiny to see if he was still drinking the right drink. Looked normal enough.

"Peach's castle has 120 power stars in the castle, but you only need 70 of them to beat the game." Jaune had a strained smile on his face as he continued. But where the fun in just getting 70 power star and beating the game that way, it not like getting all the star is that time com- for fuck sakes yes it is!"

"Let's just get one thing clear, I fucking depise the 100 coin misson. It's as simple as it sounds, grab 100 coins and then grab the star that appears over your head. Lather rinse repeat, for all 15 courses. In a game that usually has you go to once place and grab the star, collecting these coins brings the game to grueling crawl. Mario 64 doesn't have a checkpoint system. It doesn't bother me much. The levels are usually small and with Mario's new moves getting the Power star is not only comartable, it's also pretty fucking fun. And then their these." That venomous tone from before came back. The screen showcased the blue coins that have appeared throughout most of the video so far.

"Aw it's one of those games! The type that needs you to waste your time actually going through all of what the game has planned for you before you get to the final boss! What a rip off!" Qrow exclaims, tossing his hands in the air. Jaune agrees, crossing his arms and trying not to join in on the rage.

"No amount of looking of cute puppies. can cotain the amount of rage i have when I fuck up these mission with a impeferct jump or when a enemey hits me from behind. It's not always a painful process, but sucks so hard cause the coins are either place so far part or because they're so goddamn scarce! "Gotta kill those enemies before the coins blink away and scatter when they spawn. These blue coins are 5 regular coin a piece but you gotta get them before they blink away and you only got one shot! Was there area I didnt search, an enemy I skipped, I did I fuck up somewhere since I only have 64 coins after look around what feels like for fucking ever?!

"And try not get the last coin in a dangerous area or impossible to backtrack to. The star will always appear right above Mario's head, so make sure it's a safe locati-GODDAMN!"

The star had appeared in a caged area that Mario couldn't reach.

Everyone laughed at the other Jaune's misery. The Arf viewing the screen feels relieved that he himself isn't on the receiving end. Or was he?

"Couldn't just tell the star to come to you Mario?" Jaune asked the Mario head on his computer.

"When a moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore!" Mario began to sing and Jaune facepalm when he didn't get answered. "When an eel lunges out…

"UNGAI?!" Jaune jumping up. A eel appeared and let out a roar and Jaune wasn't in his chair anymore, It being left spinning by how fast he booked it.

"That's amore!" Mario finished singing and chuckled. Get it? Amore eel? I said funny.

"Fuck you!" Jaune said from somewhere in the house.

All the immature audience members fell out of their seats in laughter while the more mature chuckled at the scene.

At the end of the day, I really shouldn't be going for all the Power star, and that's more of a technical issue, but I'm gonna bitch anyway. But despite the age, this game is still a treat to play even today. This has been Somecallmejohnny, and you guys have a Good Day.

Nora stretches and yawns. "Well, that was a nice one. Funny too! I wonder what's next?"

The end

[coeursetcolores]

What I Would Add To/Change About: Psychonauts

Howdy! Today is April 19th, and if you don’t know what game came out today, then why don’t you try and read my mind to find out? Go ahead!

So what’s your answer? 

...

Why yes, it was Psychonauts! Way to go, you just earned a merit badge, cadet!

...What do you mean you just read the title?!

Anyway, for those of you who know, Psychonauts is a beloved cult classic that unfortunately received not that much mainstream attention, which is such a shame because I loved playing this game! I’ll admit there’s some problems, but I had such a psi-blast playing it, I didn’t really mind! That being said...

I’m still gonna talk about the problems.

This is all just my own personal opinion and if you disagree with me, that’s perfectly okay! If you’d like to talk about a point I made, please let me know, but please try to respect my opinion as I respect yours.

Well, without further ado, let’s open that Psycho-portal!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

As usual, first let’s get out all the things I absolutely ADORED about this game!

The. Voice. Acting. I cannot say enough how much detail went into dialogue and performances, you just have to listen to it. I was talking to/inspecting as many people/things as I could and seeing what dialogues were available when I switched things out. I probably spent more time doing that than actually playing the game! Definitely Richard Horvitz’s best work in my opinion!

The environments. This game is a mixed-up feast for the eyes and the level design is the main course. Things can go from the nice and simple Whispering Pines to the breathtaking and colorful Black Velvetopia to the utter lunacy and ominousness of the Milkman Conspiracy. It’s a masterpiece in artistic expression.

The Milkman Conspiracy. My gosh, this level deserves all the hype it gets. I really wish it hadn’t been spoiled for me, but even then it’s just such a trip that I can’t mind it that much. Also, Steve Blum!

The character design may not be the most aesthetically pleasing, but it fits the messed up and wacky world of the game to a T.

JUMPING!!!!!!

The puzzles can get frustrating (especially at a certain final level whose name shall not be said in respect of those still recovering from it) but they’re really fun to experiment with and find ways to move ahead in.

I really enjoyed Raz as a protagonist. He wasn’t too moody or obnoxious and he was necessarily sassy when he needed to be. He was also really relatable, being a kid who felt ostracized at home and didn’t understand why his father wouldn’t let him do what he wanted. And he was just so nice in spite of how upset he was at his family situation while still being determined to accomplish his dreams and help people. And even when he reached the asylum, it never felt like he was going into anyone’s mind as a means to an end, he genuinely wanted to help these people along with the campers. Also, he’s a total fanboy geek and that’s awesome!

As fast as it happened, the romance between Raz and Lili was really sweet and cute and I’m glad it didn’t lessen their characters or take away too much from the story. It was definitely two kids going through their first puppy love.

I also really liked Raz being nice to Dogen. Their scenes together were just sweet!

All the different abilities were so cool to use and the different types of enemies encourages you to switch things up on the fly which keeps gameplay from getting stale as you progress.

Underneath all of the trippy sequences in the levels there’s a solid moral that not everyone can deal with their mental issues by themselves and sometimes you need someone else to step in and help, and I appreciate that kind of message. Even with all of their eccentricities, the mentally ill are people too and even if you can’t fix their problems like Raz can they still deserve basic compassion and understanding.

With all that being said, I feel like the game could have used a few more things.

ADD:

I really wish Raz got a new look for every mental world like he did in Black Velvetopia.

The game should have been stretched out over more than just one day. It would have given more time to expand upon certain plot elements and develop the characters more, as well as make Raz’s psychic growth a little more believable. I know that the plot kind of relied on Raz only having a day to do everything, but it just made him seem like of a Mary Sue learning all that in one day.

I feel like the game should have explained some things more. I get that video games shouldn’t hold your hand too much and they should be a challenge, but some things took FOREVER to learn the right button for.

A tracker for emotional baggage? I couldn’t find it all.

Maybe make the other counselors seem suspicious so it’s not so easy to single out Coach Oleander as the villain? 

Add some side quests around camp to help the other campers: Stand up to Bobby, talk Crystal and Clem out of suicide, show Mikhail he’s being used and knock some sense into Maloof, get a show for Phoebe and Quentin’s band going, and help Dogen control his powers, etc. I feel like they really could have expanded Part 1 at camp more.

Maybe add some flashbacks of Raz’s family life before he ran away to help the audience see through his eyes and understand his thought process better.

More fights with the Nightmares would have been cool. The scrapped plot about them escaping from Milla’s mind and abducting kids while they didn’t have their brains would have been a cool subplot. Or they could have come from the kids themselves or Oleander. I just think they had more potential.

Dr. Loboto boss fight (I did not play Rhombus of Ruin, I don’t do VR!)!

I’d kind of want to see Raz’s dad arrive at camp and how he got to where all the action was. Maybe some scenes of him getting there too to really make the player feel just how little time they have.

A scene of Ford Cruller getting up to go help out and save everyone?

Alright, now it’s time to get to the ugly!

CHANGE:

Oh my gosh, ARREST COACH OLEANDER! I know he was genuinely remorseful and the Psitanium might have had a hand in it and he was unfairly rejected from every branch of the United States army for his height, but that doesn’t change the fact that he lobotomized an entire camp full of children, attempted to murder one, built psychic death tanks, mutated and brainwashed a peaceful fish, brainwashed an asylum patient into covering his tracks through arson without regards to the residents of the asylum, kidnapped and lobotomized two colleagues whom he then tried to kill, hired DR. LOBOTO and tried to take over the world. At least have the guy monitored and put under probation, geez!

Change the rules of the race in Milla’s Dance Party so you DON’T have to win! I don’t care if I lose, I just want to move on already! This is not a racing game!

LESS. FIGMENTS.

I honestly don’t know what to say about the **** ****** except HAVE OLLIE STAY PUT AT THE TOP SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT KEEPING HIS BUNNY-LOVING HIDE ALIVE!!!!!

Maybe the Two-Headed Dad Monster could have been more challenging at the end? As I’ve said, I am not a gameplay expert, but that final boss fight was really easy, and not in a satisfying way. Then again, you did just have to play through the **** ******...

And, that’s about it, I really don’t have much to complain about. Psychonauts is a super fun game and I highly recommend it. It’s colorful and explores heavy themes with respect and humor while going hand in hand with interesting gameplay and plenty of likable characters. There are no dull moments, I genuinely enjoyed this game greatly. I wish more people had given it a chance when it first came out and we could have gotten the sequel sooner, because I am honestly super nervous about it living up to the first. This is nothing on Tim Schafer and Double Fine, I just don’t have high expectations for a sequel made and released after ten years of radio silence as a rule. But, who knows? 

Maybe they’ll go in and change my mind.

[fics-and-shits]

Marvel Fic Recs

***smut

Tom Holland x Reader

Oneshots

The Interview (Actress!Reader) by @bigballofstress​

You’re Tom Holland’s costar and girlfriend since the end of Civil War. Usually, you go on interviews together, but this time, you are requested alone on Ellen.

Cinderella (Actress!Reader) by @thewackywriter​

Who knew that going to another boring award show and walking around barefoot would lead her right to her Prince Charming?

Drop the Mic by @young-and-bitchy​

You’re in a rap battle with Tom Holland. 

Vlogs by @spideyyeet​

Being in the vlog squad was dope af but having David Dobrik run into Tom Holland and getting him to surprise you was a whole other thing. Now let’s see what’s it like to have Tom meet the vlogsquad and be with the girl that’s making him rethink some decisions.

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Oneshots

Send to All Pranks (Actress!Reader) by @thrandybaby​

You’re a British actress appearing on the Michael McIntyre Chat Show, but hilarity ensues at your expense when you accept the challenge to play the infamous ‘Send to All’ prank.

Morning After by @mindrunningfree​

After a drunken night out, you wake up in a stranger’s bed, and on a scale of one to ten, your level of confusion is a fifteen.

Platonic!Avengers Cast x Reader

Oneshots

Beliefs (Teen!Reader) by @supersoldierfreak​

A group press conference with the Avengers cast where you reveal your political views.

Sleeping Beauty by @chrixa​

You didn’t know that the Avengers cast can also be called sneaky paparazzi. Also you love sleeping. Who doesn’t, right?

Handmade With Love by @capsicletho​

Christmas is the time to give your loved one some gifts. What happens when you give your famous second family something handmade?

Clint Barton x Reader

Series

Agent 41 (Agent!Reader) by @nacho-bucky​

An easily-distracted SHIELD agent with a sweet tooth and too many pairs of sneakers. Nothing ever quite works out the way she wants. But hey - it does work out! Usually

Peter Parker x Reader

Oneshots

Clingy Peter Parker by @spider-bih​

A clingy Peter Parker and the reader loves it

Anything For You by @pparkerwrites​

Introducing Peter Parker, dog whisperer by day, Spiderman and dog whisperer by night.

Series

Far From You Trilogy and Blurbs by @hey-marlie​

Y/N Stark is really not here for this European school vacay because in this post-endgame world, she’s mourning the loss of her dad. But one (1) sticky boi Peter Parker is just trying to be the friend he once was while also trying not to flirt too much because if she rejects him (which she wouldn’t, not that he knows that) while they’re in Venice, holy hell he’ll just pitch himself off the gondola right then and there.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Oneshots

Sparks (Enemies to Lovers AU) by @sunriserose1023​

You and Bucky started off on the wrong foot and it’s just been downhill ever since, and the last time you gave him a chance, you ended up with five broken ribs. It’s just not meant to be.

Cheap Thrills by @avengerofyourheart​

A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams?

Air B&E (Enemies to Lovers AU)  by @avengerofyourheart​

When a mission requires close proximity with your least favorite teammate, you try to make the best of it, but a change in plans adds new challenges and possibly a new opportunity.

Notebook (College AU) by @softlybarnes​

 Bucky and Y/N sit next to each other all semester. They never talk to each other, until one day they do. 

The Florist  // The Beekeeper // The Pumpkin Carver (Enhanced!Reader) by @softlybarnes​

Bucky and Y/N make flower crowns together. Both reveal more than they plan to.

Freckles (Drunk!Reader) by @softlybarnes​

The Reader likes Bucky’s freckles a whole lot.

The Regular by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes is a regular at your bar. He comes in, he makes sure trouble stays away, and then he leaves. This really wouldn’t be a problem if he weren’t so good looking and you weren’t totally in love with him.

Fourth Time’s the Charm by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky remembers the three times he meets a certain thief, and is blindsided by the fourth.

Trepidation by @brooklyn-boy​

You’re rescued from HYDRA by the Avengers, only to be met with a ghost of the past in the form of Bucky Barnes. They tell you he was brainwashed, that it wasn’t him, but you aren’t so sure.

Blink Twice by @brooklyn-boy​

Zemo kidnaps Bucky and injects him with some sort of drug that paralyzes him and takes away his ability to speak. He’s meant to die alone, in a ditch like he was supposed to back in 1944. But then someone finds him…

Uptown Boy (30s AU) by @brooklyn-boy​

You’ve spent so long pretending to be a selfish, conceited, spoiled little rich girl that somewhere along the way, the line was blurred. Now faced with an ultimatum, you have to decide if your pride is worth the only person who’s ever truly loved you.

The Scoop (POC Journalist!Reader) by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes laments the fact that every single person he cares about is a dumbass when it comes to their own personal safety. He also hates every single journalist, newscaster or reporter he’s ever met until you.

Who Are You Trying to Fool by @notimetoblog​

A perfect chance of messing with new recruits presents itself to Bucky. Can he pull it off or will you foil his plan?

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger House by @sunmoonandbucky​

You find the courage to tell Bucky about your latest ultrasound.

But Here I Am (Agent!Reader) by @sunmoonandbucky​

After years of being separated from the Avengers, Bucky finds you during a job.

Take it Easy, Romeo by @sunmoonandbucky​

The Soldat remembers one person through it all.

***A+ (Dark!Professor Bucky x CollegeAged!Reader)by @chixkencxrry​

You thought that all your credits had been complete, but a glitch in the system forces you to take a summary course in order for you to graduate. Insert Professor Barnes, your history professor who’s a total ass.

A Year of Firsts (College AU) by @whitewolfbumble​

Part One // Part Two

It wasn’t supposed to be a year of firsts, but then you met Bucky and everything started to fall into place.

13 Cats and a Sorceress by @kentuckybarnes​

Beings from another dimension start to invade New York City, and cats invade Avengers Tower.

Sounds Like a Personal Problem (Law Firm AU) by @kentuckybarnes​

Part One // Part Two

“Remember that favor you owe me?” “Uh-oh”

Pulling Rank (Agent!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

A mission has gone badly, and you have a reckoning.

Start With My Name (Medic!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

Part One // Part Two

Things get out of hand at a strike mission against Hydra, and you’re responsible for cleaning up the mess.

It Doesn’t Mean Anything (Until it Does) (Agent!Reader) by @cordytriestowrite​

The things that you and Bucky do don’t mean anything so just drop it okay?

Vulnerability (Modern AU) by @mareli-carter​

“We’re both in small claims court and I got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there.”

Important by @mareli-carter​

“I did that annoying thing where I put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box, and you’re getting really mad, but I can’t wait to see your face when you open the smallest box.”

Two Punks In Love (40s AU) by @jaamesbbarnes​

Years go by but the way you and Bucky care for each other doesn’t change. You’re still the punk who starts fights with anyone breathing in the wrong direction, he’s still a charming little fucker.

Bulletproof (Agent!Reader) by @jaamesbbarnes​

You and Bucky are the most competitive little shits there ever was.

Fair Play (Agent!Reader) by @jaamesbbarnes​

After a rough mission, you and the team go to Coney Island for some fun. Still injured, you can’t go on the rollercoaster with the others so Bucky decides to keep you company and to make your day as memorable as possible.

Saving the Day by @jaamesbbarnes​

On your way back home, you are being followed by a couple of creeps. When your eyes fall on the most impressive and handsome Avengers, you don’t think twice and find yourself a fake boyfriend and savior.

I’m Not Going Anywhere by @jaamesbbarnes​

Working for Stark isn’t always a walk in the park, it’s exhausting. But a certain super soldier and his constant flirting make it bearable. 

Emergency Room (Doctor!Bucky) by @jaamesbbarnes​

Who would have thought that going to the ER could made a bad night turn pretty nicely?

Series

Holiday Heist (Thief!Bucky, Modern AU) by @avengerofyourheart​

When the art gallery you manage is robbed on Christmas Eve, you suspect the handsome stranger who flirted with you earlier in the day, but instead of involving the authorities, you take matters into your own hands with surprising consequences.

Flour Girl (Enemies to Lovers AU) by @avengerofyourheart​

Discovering the cute guy you just flirted with is the heir of a rival bakery, you suddenly find yourself running into him all over the city. Can your small boutique bakery compete? And how do you deal with the guy who seems determined to make your life a living hell? Luckily you’re distracted by a secret admirer…But who is he? 

Playing With Fire (Modern AU) by @sunriserose1023​

Some things just do not mix. Oil and water. Fire and gasoline. You and Bucky Barnes. When it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it destroyed everything in its path. You’d tried–both of you had–but some things just aren’t meant to be. A year after your break up, Bucky gives you a call, and you willingly dive headfirst back into his orbit. You set boundaries this time, put up walls, determined to keep yourself from being burned again. You’re not about to let him get too close. Only problem? Bucky didn’t get that memo.

***Incubus (Incubus!Bucky) by @after-avenging-hours​

When some of the best sex of your life leads to the unveiling of a world you barely even knew existed, you know you’re in a heap of trouble. James Buchanan Barnes is the kind of man that fills your deepest and darkest fantasies, mainly because he is one. When emotions get involved in a relationship that’s been founded on sex, there’s no turning back. And honestly, you’re not even sure if you want to.

***Disney Corruption by @after-avenging-hours​

Bucky joins you for your late-night Disney movie sessions.  It’s difficult for him to get through them without finding the sexual innuendos

***Hunter!Bucky by @after-avenging-hours​

Bucky is part of the hunting party for the village.  One day, he catches you in the woods, long after you should be tucked away, safe in the village.

Heartbeat (Soulmate AU) by @after-avenging-hours​

Soulmate AU where your heartbeat matches the beat of your soulmate’s; they speed up together, slow down together, skip at the same time, but that means they also stop together… 

I’ll Be Seeing You by @brooklyn-boy​

The Howling Commandos come across a tortured Italian woman in the winter of 1944. With only rudimentary means of communication, Sergeant Bucky Barnes still somehow finds himself falling in love.

Siren’s Song by @brooklyn-boy​

The Avengers come across the profile of an enhanced individual, missing and presumed still under HYDRA’s control. With the power to bend anyone’s will with just a command, the team decides to prioritize freeing this individual. But trust is hard to earn from a former HYDRA asset. Nobody knows this more than Bucky.

Clan of Three (Mandalorian!Bucky) by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes is a Mandalorian bounty hunter. All he has to do is take this kid and her glorified babysitter back to the client and be done with it. That’s it. Simple?

Revival by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky returns to his childhood home only to discover its inheritor struggling to return it to its former glory. Luckily for you, Bucky’s memory isn’t that bad.

Compromised by @brooklyn-boy​

As a Senator for New York, you’ve been fighting hard to have Sergeant James Barnes acquitted. An attempt on your life by a new terrorist sect brings you in contact with the Avengers themselves, and even closer to the man you’ve been working so hard to protect…

Uptown Girl (Millionaire!Bucky, Modern AU) by @brooklyn-boy​

Epilogue

Bucky Barnes is a bit of an eccentric millionaire. He lives alone, aside from his housekeeper/personal assistant. When his mother tells him he needs to get married or be cut off, Bucky lies and tells his mother that his long-suffering assistant is his fiance.

Out of Time by @brooklyn-boy​

On the run from HYDRA in 2023, you accidentally use your time-traveling technology to jump 80 years back in time. Safe for the time being and with Howard Stark vouching for the legitimacy of your time travel claims, you’re stuck in the SSR headquarters until you can fix your gear. Which wouldn’t be half as hard if a certain James ‘Bucky’ Barnes wasn’t so damn distracting…

Stereotypical (Model!Bucky, Modern AU) by @avasparks​

As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modeling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr. J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr. Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.

Sugar (40s AU) by @softlybarnes​

By a miracle of fate, Bucky Barnes does not fall off of the train. He does not spend decades as a brainwashed assassin. Instead, he goes home to Brooklyn to spend his life with a girl he adores, a snarky nurse that he met during the war.

Two Kingdoms (Royals AU) by @softlybarnes​

Y/N, set to be a queen, is taken on her wedding day by King James, the ruler of another land. At first glance, James’ Kingdom seems to be thriving but Y/N soon realizes something darker and more sinister is at work in James’ land. And she seems to be at the center of it.

City Love (CEO!Bucky, Modern AU) by @chrevastan​

You attend one of Natasha’s office parties against your will and end up meeting a charming stranger who turns out to be the person who runs the company.

Next to Me by @sgtjbuccky​

After an attempt on you and your identical twin’s life, your father calls in the Avengers for protection. Bucky soon realizes your father’s goal is solely to keep you sister safe, and decides that the times of doing the bidding of others are long gone, and takes your protection into his own hands.

Most Wanted (Thief!Bucky, Modern AU) by @sgtjbuccky​

The life you dreamed of wasn’t the one you lived. Day in and day out you tried to change the outcome, but somehow you always ended up right where you began. Fed up with it all, you wished upon a star and was granted with Bucky Barnes, and it wouldn’t take you long to realize that whatever mess you were about to get tangled up in, it would change your life entirely.

Merry and Married (Modern AU) by @sunriserose1023​

It’s been almost a year since the most humiliating moment of your life. You’ve done your best to move on—by literally moving across the country, starting a new job, and you’re finally starting to feel settled. That, of course, is when your bubblehead cousin sends you the invitation to her wedding—which is exactly one year to the day that you were left at the altar. You have to go, but you don’t have to go alone.

Astrophile (Firefighter!Bucky, Single Dad AU) by @all1e23​

Orion Rebecca Barnes’s favorite thing in the whole world (Besides her daddy of course) was spending hours after school in the bookstore by her house. Aunt Nattie takes her every time her dad has to work an overnight shift at the station and it’s her absolute favorite place. Plus, the owner GIVES her any book she wants because she’s the coolest girl Ori has ever met. It didn’t take long for Bucky to notice his daughter’s sudden interest in constellations and the large stack of astrology related books piling up in her room. He’s spent her entire life trying to teach her about the stars and where her name came from with little interest from his little comet and all of sudden she’s in love?

To Build a Home (Family AU) by @ussgallifreyfics​

The glimpses into a life Bucky never thought was possible for himself. A world where he would find someone who he could love and be loved in return - a person he could start a family with. This is how an ex-assassin navigates the world of parenthood.

Not Happening (Modern AU) by @notimetoblog​

An online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand.

Hero For Hire by @delicatelyherdreams​

Tired of constantly being sat on the sidelines for missions, Bucky Barnes decides that he’s going to do his own hero work and offer his services to the public as a freelance “hero for hire.” He expects to be asked to rescue cats from trees or help little old ladies cross the street, but he doesn’t expect to get tangled up in your life. He definitely doesn’t expect to fall for you either. But, when you’re a hero for hire, you’ve gotta see the mission through.

<<p>Stray by @jaamesbbarnes​

When Bucky stumbles upon a stray cat near his building in Bucharest and takes him in, he doesn’t expect for his world to turn upside down.

Schlaflos (Rogers!Reader) by @mareli-carter​

Steve’s younger sister, a nurse during the Second World War, finds herself in Hydra’s possession after trying to help the Howling Commandos save Bucky.

The White Wolf (Mobster!Bucky) by @captain-ariel-barnes​

James “Bucky” Barnes is the most feared man in New York. What happens when a flower shop owner gets tangled up in his empire?

Sly as a Fox (Vigilante!Reader, SocialMedia AU) by @sunmoonandbucky​

After the blip, the Avengers continue on with business as usual.  But they soon find out that while they were away, someone took it upon themselves to do the job they left behind.

A Lesson in Love (College AU) by @buckyywiththegoodhair​

In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

***Artistic License (Sugar Daddy AU) by @cametobuyplums​

Once upon a time in Paris, there was an aspiring creative down on her luck. What’s a beautiful young woman to do? Agree for the wealthy Bucky Barnes to be her Sugar Daddy, of course.

I’m With You (Modern AU) by @wkemeup​

When two strangers meet on a layover in the Charlotte Airport, they are sent on a whirlwind weekend filled with cancelled flights, painful questions over giant checkers, an ex-boyfriend’s wedding, and a confrontational graduation. They find that a lifetime can sit in the span of three days and it doesn’t take very long at all to fall in love.

Flowers Bloom (Soulmate AU) by @revengingbarnes​

Whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. You are born with flowers around your entire left shoulder.

Agent 28 (Agent!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

He’s a Soviet-trained assassin. You’re a secret agent. He has a thing for thigh holsters. You have a thing for his behind (who doesn’t?) But it’s all hush-hush. What shenanigans will the two of you get into to keep your affair concealed from the rest of the Avengers, all while you’re trying to save the world?

Howler & The Black Cat (Vigilante!Bucky x Vigilante!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

By day, you’re just another employee at Stark Tower. By night? A justice-seeker known as Black Cat. No one knows your secret, and certainly not your sometime partner in vigilante activity, sometime-pain in the butt Romeo, Howler. But no matter how hard he tries, you have no intention of giving in…

While You Were Sleeping (mentioned Steve Rogers x Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

Mistaken as Captain America’s girlfriend following a near-death experience, you keep up the pretense under the suspicious eyes of his best friend, Bucky Barnes. But soon you find out that Steve Rogers isn’t all he’s supposed to be, and somehow, Bucky is so, so much more.

Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree (40s!Bucky x OC) by @kentuckybarnes​

In 1941 Brooklyn, a young woman spends her nights sneaking out of her parents’ house to play jazz piano at clubs. Although she disguises herself to keep out of trouble, it doesn’t fool everyone.

Sugar Daddy’s (Modern AU) cowritten by @kentuckybarnes​ and @nacho-bucky​

Suave, confident, charming Bucky Barnes has a deep dark secret – and you, a small-town investigative journalist, are determined to get to the bottom of it. What lurks in his shadowed past, and how deeply will you be drawn in? Co-written with @caitfairwrites!

Seven-Thirty (Modern AU) by @nacho-bucky​

You were planning on a productive — if lonely — weekend, but the little girl across the hall has different ideas about how you and Bucky Barnes should be spending your time.

Lemon Pie (40s AU) by @nacho-bucky​

Moments measured in messy days and peaceful nights; in too-tart pies and slobbery toys. Bucky returns from war to find a life he never expected: a rich symphony of mishaps and mayhem and immeasurable love.

​

[broken-clover]

AU-gust Day 21- Professional Rivals (Very, very late)

...yeah. I am. Very behind. But I’m trying to work on it

I wasn’t entirely sure how to interpret this prompt. I ended up going with something a bit superhero-esque again, but a lot more lighthearted than the last one, sort of inspired by Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Perry the Playpus. Nothing too dark or serious, just kind of dumb.

Sin let the weight of his body more than anything else push the door open to his apartment as soon as he felt the lock click. He managed to avoid stumbling over and hitting the carpet face-first, but only barely. At least he didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing him in the state he was in. Though he did notice a pair of slip-ons by the door, which made his shoulders sag further with an emotion he didn’t have a word for.

“Hey, Mattie.” He called into the empty space, slumping against the door behind him. “I’m back.”

Soft footsteps echoed somewhere in the bathroom. “Sin? You’re home already?”

He managed to stand himself up again and take a few tentative steps, clinging onto the gash on his arm that had just barely begun to clot. “Yeah, ran out of tasks to do so they let me out early. Bridget on the night shift again?”

“No, he should be home in a few minutes, hence why I was so surprised it was you and not him.” Sin sat down on his bed and watched as the silhouette in the bathroom moved towards the doorframe. “He’s bringing pizza with him, though, so at least we have that to look forward-

The two of them paused in place, completely halted by the sight of each other’s state.

“...Wow.” They said, in perfect unison. “You look terrible.”

Sin ran a hand through his hair, immediately regretting it when he realized he was staining it with blood. “Hehe. Yeah, rough day at work today.”

“That looks remarkably painful.” Bedman limped over, a hand hovering over Sin’s cut arm. “You’re all scraped up...what happened?

++++++

Sin soared over the cityscape in a ball of lightning, sparks crackling off his skin in iridescent arcs. He wiped the blood running from his nose and tried to focus on the dark cloud hovering up ahead.

“You’re gonna have to hit harder than that to do me in, big guy!” He shouted over the rush of wind. With a few more sharp bursts, he was at eye-level with the peculiar contraption. “Brought a new toy today? Hope it’s sturdier than the one I trashed last week!”

His taunting was interrupted by a series of metallic clicks. A dozen or so little objects were ejected from the hovercraft, which unfolded into hovering metal discs that immediately began chasing after him.

“W-whoa- !” Sin shouted, barely managing to dodge their sharp blades.

“Don’t be getting cocky, dear Mr. Raiden!” A warped, mechanical voice resounded from the main machine. “You look so cute scared out of your mind!”

Sin grinned back at him. “Y’think I’m scared, Oneiroi?” He fired off another bolt, making one of them explode. “I’m just hoping these ones are an actual challenge this time!”

Heroics weren’t quite where he’d seen himself ending up, but he couldn’t have been happier. Saving the day, stopping the bad guy, and getting out a bit of extra energy. It wasn’t the most high-stakes hero town, he was the only one there, after all (and he couldn’t remember the last time Oneiroi had made a fully serious plan as far as he knew) but Sin was perfectly happy where he was.

Well, most of the time. In his distraction, a blade whizzed by, drawing blood and leaving a mark Sin didn’t even feel until a few moments later.

The remote drones immediately freezed in the air, bobbing harmlessly. “Oh- oh shit.” The electronic voice’s tone suddenly shifted, from aggrandizing and pompous to concerned. “That wasn’t supposed to do that. You okay?”

“Nggh- I’m fine.” He wasn’t done for the day, and he certainly wasn’t going to throw in the towel as soon as he’d gotten nicked! That was just pathetic, for both of them.

“Are you sure? I can give you a minute to sit down-”

Grinning under his mask, Sin grabbed the nearest drone and spun before hurling it right back at where it had come from, wreathed in electricity.

“Sit on this!”

++++++

“Bit of a funny story.” Replied Sin, grinning with a bit of cheek. “Was helping deliver another truckload of slate across the 4 & 15, and I guess they did a shitty job blowing up the tires or something, whole thing toppled right into some poor old lady’s backyard!”

His roommate seemed to find it much less funny, mouth opening in quiet shock before he uneasily sat down on the nearest bed.

“A car accident?? And you didn’t think to tell Bridget or I about this? Not even a text?!”

Sin threw up his hands, immediately wincing and going back to grabbing his arm. “Easy, man! I was fine, It wasn’t a big deal! Besides, you didn’t mention whatever happened to you.” He gestured to the other, a lot more carefully. “What’s with that ding on the back of your head? And why’s your wrist bandaged up?”

++++++

“DANGER. DANGER. SHIELD TAKING DAMAGE.”

“ -agh!” the projectile had managed to knock his ship’s gyroscope off a bit when it struck, throwing him into the far wall console. He winced at the sore, and not to mention wet spot on the back of his head when he went to touch it. He’d seen much worse, but it would definitely take a few days to heal.

He knew he was vulnerable, but a second hit didn’t come. “Uh, you okay in there?” A slightly muffled voice came through the speakers. “Too much?”

After making sure it hadn’t been damaged, Bedman patched through to the speaker system with his helmet. “Are you being facetious? That hardly scuffed my outer plating! You’re going to have to do better than that to damage- khh- ow-” He winced, immediately sitting back down as soon as he’d tried to prop himself up with his free hand. Had he twisted it? At least it wasn’t his writing arm…

“Seriously, need a breather?” The other said.

“N-no! I’m perfectly fine!” He managed to scrabble to his knees with one arm, clinging onto the control panel for support as he pulled himself up, panting with effort. He tried to grin wickedly. “But while you were distracted, Raiden, you have unwittingly lowered your guard! Take this!”

He slammed a fist down on one of the large, brightly-colored buttons (a bit cliche, but they were helpful for his astigmatism). The sound of rockets firing off was supposed to sound, but he found himself tilting his head at the silence.

“Uh...Oneiroi?” Raiden’s voice came through again. “Tech error?”

“No! No, I’m sure I just hit the wrong-” He smacked it again, but still nothing. “Um…”

A little sigh followed it. “Yeah, let’s- let’s take five, okay?”

++++++

“Well, erm, there was a bit of an incident down at the office.” He shrugged innocently. “Shiina asked me to refill the printer trays, and I thought it would be a good idea to bring the paper bundles up the stairs- you know, exercise and building muscle and all that- but I wasn’t as careful as I could have been, I suppose, and I...erm, fell down from the top step.”

Sin cringed. “Yikes. That’s gotta hurt. Definitely made a good call, wrapping it up.”

“And it looks like you should do the same.” Bedman walked off and came back with the first-aid kit and a wet washcloth, the latter of which he pressed against Sin’s arm. “Just sit still. So aside from that, was the rest of your day okay?”

“Yeah, totally, everything was fine. You?”

��I was having a bit of a rough patch, but I had a nice talk with one of the other coders, that was nice.”

“Oh, really?”

++++++

The front panel of the hovercraft had folded over into a neat little platform that now hosted a cooler and a foldout chair.

“You don’t drink, right? Lemon-Lime Fizz?” The villain asked, offering a can to his rival. Raiden continued to hover a few feet away, though in a perfectly comfortable lounge.

“Ooh, yeah, toss me that.” He cracked the can open as soon as it hit his fingers. “So what’s up? You seem out of it.”

Oneiroi tapped fingers on his helmet. “I guess I just feel a little off today. Didn’t expect you would notice.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, man! You’re my nemesis! I notice these things.”

He supposed that was true, and it was nice. He could remember nervously typing up a memo on Heroes4Villains.com (‘M25 evil engineer, coder and aspiring megalomaniac seeking monogamous hero rival, serious applicants only, please!) at a fellow villain’s behest. He’d never had a real nemesis, but he was happy having Raiden. A bit dense, but he was a skilled electromancer and he made for an excellent enemy to battle on a regular basis.

He thought a moment before speaking. “Am I not adequately menacing? I’m worried I’ve gotten...a bit out of practice, as it were.”

Raiden blinked in shock, before shaking his head and waving him down. “Nah, man! You’re totally menacing! Those new drones of yours were super scary!”

“You really thought so?”

“Yeah!”

“Maybe I should commit to the motif a bit more?” He pulled out a roll of blueprints and unfurled it. “I had a concept saved for an army of robotic sheep with laser eyes, but the outer casing was complicated and I wasn’t sure if it was too...what’s the word…’hokey?’ I’m no Terumi or anything but I’d like to avoid coming across as too silly, you know?”

“I get you, totally.” Raiden nodded. “I think a lot of villains aren’t into the whole ‘motif’ thing anymore, but I totally get wanting to have a theme. And those tend to be some of your most creative plots! Remember the time you flooded city hall with nightmare gas during the benefactor’s dinner? That was iconic!”

Oneiroi looked down at his blueprints again. “Perhaps I could give this model another go...I know I didn’t exactly have a whole plan thought out for next tuesday. Maybe I could use my laser sheep to kidnap the mayor…?"

The other man smiled in approval. “Sounds good to me! Mayor Whitefang sounded like he needed a break from desk work too, he could probably use another kidnapping-for-ransom. It’s been a while since you did that!”

As he went to say something, a light began to blink and beep on Oneiroi’s gauntlet. “I wasn’t expecting that to pop up so soon.”

“Got a call or something?”

“Promised I’d help another villain remodel their evil lair, I wanted to cancel but they couldn’t get anyone else to help out. Is it fine if I leave early?”

Raiden nodded again. “Sure, sure man, by all means. I get it. Uh, and this is why you never underestimate the power of the good guys?”

“Of course. Curse you, Raiden? I’ll beat you next time?”

++++++

“...Yeah. It was nice.”

“Well, guess it wasn’t that bad of a day after all!” Sin beamed, throwing his bandaged arm around his roommate’s shoulders as soon as he had finished. “And now, all we’ve gotta do is chillax and wait! Hopefully Bridget ‘ll be back soon with dinner.”

“I don’t suppose we would happen to be getting garlic knots, as well…?

“You know it!”

“Excellent.”

[romaniassexdungeon]

Shattered Romanticism of a God - chapter 13

Pairings: SuFin, NedDen

Warnings: swearing,

Wow, six months without uploading, I update twice in one day.

Read on AO3

...

Tino was going to destroy everyone he loved and held dear and spit on their graves, for they meant nothing to him that day. He was going to laugh as they fell, one by one, to his superior sniper skills. The snow around them would be stained red. And green. And maybe purple too. They would all beg for mercy and receive none. Yes, even Berwald, if he crossed him. No one would stand in his way and succeed.

He half-listened to the instructor, knowing full well how to play paintball. He checked his outfit, his armour vest pinching underneath his uniform. His helmet was still on the bench, for now. Berwald was standing next to him, putting on his gloves.  There were a few rounds, throughout the day, with different objectives. Defending places, raiding places, all as a team. That was why everyone had planned this day out: team building. What he was most looking forward to was a hunger games where everyone was against everyone.

He was going to win that if it fucking killed him. There was no "I" in team, but there was one in sniper.

Eduard said he was too competitive, and that was why he never joined in with anything involving Tino. Especially Tino and guns and teams. He wasn’t even after the prizes, just the glory of winning. Maybe there was a darker, psychological element to it, about how his dad would constantly push him to be the best at “manly” things, but Tino didn’t like thinking about that. He preferred to call being so competitive it took the fun out of things for everyone just one of his “quirks”.

The first event was a simple two-person team game, with the last duo standing declared the winners. Of course, he and Berwald were going to be a team. And they were going to win.

He finished getting dressed, and the instructor finished explaining the safety procedures. The group were all led out of the tent and given directions to their starting positions. Soon enough, Tino and Berwald were alone, crouched behind a bush. Uncomfortably close. Or comfortably, as long as Tino didn’t pop a woody.

There were still a few minutes before the starting klaxon would sound, so he decided to familiarise himself with his surroundings. Every advantage counted here. The area looked fun, woodland made of tall, straight, evergreen trees and patches of grass. The forest floor was covered in pine needles, stretching as far as they could see. He’d have to be careful with that; the rustling of leaves could mask the sounds of approaching danger, or he and Berwald could give away their positions by constantly stepping on things. There were wooden cutouts, model castles and shallow trenches dotted about the place, thankfully creating cover for them. It looked like a fun place, all things considered. He’d have loved to have had a birthday party here as a child. Or an adult.

Nearby, there was a little dip in the ground, where a mud patch had pooled from the morning’s rain. Easy to miss, but vital.

“Perfect,” he muttered, discreetly pointing to it and winking at Berwald. He crawled over to the mud, scooped up a handful, and began smearing it over his face and helmet. Berwald gave him a strange look. “You want to get camouflaged, right?”

Berwald whined, shaking his head. “Messy.”

“Okay, but keep your pasty head down or the light will be bouncing off it into our enemies’ eyes.” He crawled back behind the bush.

“Enemies? Y’mean friends ‘n family?”

“Not here, not today.” Tino sighed and gently, but firmly, pulled Berwald down to eye level. "Okay, listen up. Do not blow this for me. No mercy, and no making yourself a target. I know that'll be hard, but just assume you're tall enough to be visible at all times and stay down."

Berwald nodded.

"I don't give a fuck that half these people are your family. If you show any hesitation in shooting them, you're dead to me. Understood?"

Another nod. "M'scared n' horny."

"Roger that. Make me proud out there, and there might be a treat for you." He winked. “I’ll roger you.”

Berwald shook his head. "M'not ready. Jus' horny."

"Reading you loud and clear, my man. Your treat is now a big, fat kiss in the privacy of my room."

"Thanks." He smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Hey, don't worry about it," said Tino, feeling suddenly very tender. "We're gonna be a great team, okay?"

The klaxon sounded, and Tino pulled away.

“Showt’me,” muttered Berwald.

“Showtime? You are truly the gayest man in history. This is war, Berwald, not theatre.” Tino blinked. “Wow. I sounded a lot like my dad there. Sorry.”

“S’okay. Kinda funny watching you get so inta this.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll probably ruin the mood soon enough. Now, let’s find Gunner before someone else gets to shoot him.”

Berwald nodded, very enthusiastically. “Let’s f’ck him up.”

...

Luca and Tolli, meanwhile, were busy hiding in a trench, huddled together and praying they wouldn’t be found. It wasn’t the first choice of activity for either of them, but everyone else had been super excited about it. Hopefully, they’d get to shoot someone at some point. At least they’d be going for a nice drink in a warm pub afterwards, and after there’d be a bath.

The two teamed up together, because Tolli didn’t want to be on a team with Vidar or Gunner, and Luca was closest to his own age. But they weren’t close enough to do anything but sit in awkward silence. There were probably things they had in common, but Tolli worried he looked like a little kid to Luca, or if Luca hated small talk. He had to try, though, or things would just get even more awkward. He could try a compliment, he supposed. They tended to go down well.

“I like your hair, by the way.” Tolli tried to rub some warmth into his fingers.

“Thanks,” said Luca, smiling sheepishly. “I like your eyeliner.”

“I like yours!”

He nodded, looking rather guilty. “Hey, can you keep a secret?”

“Sure.”

Luca lifted up his mess of hair to reveal the eyeliner on his right eye wasn’t as good as his left one. In fact, it was nothing short of a blotchy disaster.  “I can never get the other eye right.”

Tolli giggled. “I hear you. It’s a weird power I have; I have to do Vidar’s makeup before going out, maybe I can do yours too, if you want.”

“You can be the band’s official makeup artist, maybe.” Luca nudged him. “And you’d get to hang out with your cousins more.”

“Ew.”

“Aww, don’t be like that. They talk about you all the time. Gunner’s super proud of you.”

“Gunner has his own siblings.”

“Really? Oh, yeah, I forgot.”

A blast hit both men in the chest, Luca, then Tolli, with no time for them to react. Tolli tried to scream, winded, but all that came out was a whimper.

“Gotcha!” Tino allowed himself a small jump for joy, from the cover of the woods he’d been spying them from. He high-fived Berwald, then ran over to the trench, ducking down until he was safely inside.

“That hurt,” Luca whined.

“Yeah, they do,” said Tino, “that’s why you have to try not to lose. Have either of you moved since you got here?”

Tolli shrugged. “We were just having a nice chat.”

“You’re not here to chat, you’re here to play!” When Tino attempted to teabag them, Luca punched him in the balls. Tino doubled over with a grunt. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

A second pair of shots sounded, both hitting Luca in the arm. This time, they’d come from Berwald’s gun.

“What the fuck?”

“Aww, my man got all protective,” Tino smiled at him warmly. “Anyway, there’s gotta be some better targets round here. Ones that are more of a challenge.”

“Yeah? Why don’t you fuck off and find them, then.” Luca rubbed his arm. “Leave us alone.”

“Will do, you pair of noobs.” Tino hobbled off back to Berwald, leaving Luca and Tolli to lie in the dirt, nursing the sore spots where bruises would soon be.

...

“Dude, how many weeds would we have to smoke to hotbox this thing,” Gunner looked around the crumbling, little hut they'd chosen to shelter in.

Adriaan gave him a withering look. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m just saying,” he said, “we’d probably need like 30 weeds. Lotta jazz cigarettes. Some dank blunt kush.”

That got a laugh out of Adriaan. “You're adorable.”

“Am I even using hotbox in the right context?”

“Sorta, I guess. It needs to be an enclosed space, and this isn’t really enclosed.” He nodded over at the doorless doorway and holes for windows. “A car or small room would be better.”

“So all the weeds would escape here?”

He sighed. “Yes, Gunner, all the weeds would escape.”

“See? I know about the Mary Jane. How could I be surrounded by all these green trees and grass not know about the Devil’s Lettuce?”

Adriaan snorted. “The Devil’s Lettuce might be my favourite word for weed. My sister always used to call it that.”

“She know you’re a super mega pothead?”

“Yes. I do have other qualities, y’know?”

“Like what?”

“That’s enough personal questions for now.”

Gunner looked at him. “We’re dating.”

“You have to work to unlock my backstory.”

“We’ve been friends for years.”

“And in that time I have remained cool and mysterious. Now, we should get moving. I’m not hiding in here with you when there are people to make miserable out there.” Adriaan stepped outside, glancing around and peering through the trees. Then, without warning, his head snapped back as green paint splattered across his vision.  “Fuck!” He cried, ineffectively wiping the paint on his helmet.

“Who dare shoot Adriaan!?” Gunner ran outside, gun at the ready, only to get shot in the head. He stumbled, but the bullets kept coming, exploding across his chest and legs until he was knocked onto his back.

“Thanks. I feel very avenged.” Adriaan looked around for the source of the hellfire, and found Berwald peering out from behind a wooden wall, painted to look like cobblestone.

“Of course,” Gunner groaned, then lifted his gun to return fire.

Another paintball, fired from a different position, hit him in the shoulder.

“Don’t try it, cheater,” called Tino, “you’re out. No more shooting.”

“We didn’t get to shoot anyone!” Gunner cried back.

“Get better, and don’t just sit around making noise! We heard you, like, a mile away.” Tino peered around, then began crawling over to Berwald. “Nice shot, baby. Any ammo left?”

“Bit.”

“You think they’re taking this too seriously?” asked Adriaan. Gunner groaned and nodded. “Wanna go find some of the others and have a shootout instead?”

Gunner wiped dirt off his uniform, before groaning and lying back. “If you mean bullying Luca and Tolli, absolutely.”

...

It was just Gilbert and Vidar left, and they’d heard the others fall, one by one. They’d heard the screams, the gunshots. Neither knew who was next, and if it would be them. Probably them. And probably soon. They knew the Shite Death was on their tail. If they were being honest with themselves, they knew they didn’t have a chance of winning. Or escaping. They weren’t competing; they were being hunted. Despite all the cover of the forest, and despite the fact that both pairs of eyes hadn’t spotted anyone coming near them, the pair couldn’t help feeling like someone was following them.

“I don’t like this,” whispered Gilbert. Vidar shushed him.

They kept moving on, further into the map, and most likely towards danger. But the sooner the game ended, the sooner they could move on.

Gilbert slipped his hand into Vidar’s, and Vidar gave him a strange look. “Sorry,” he pulled away, “I’m tense.” He sure looked it.

Behind them, a twig snapped, followed by the rustling of leaves. Vidar picked up the pace, constantly glancing behind. The second he saw that little fucker, he was blasting paint like he was at a bukakke.

He almost shot a tree branch for moving too quickly.

Gilbert’s head was darting in every direction. This wasn’t supposed to be so scary, but even Vidar was on edge. He didn’t want his beautiful body bruised with bullets, paint or otherwise. It would hurt.

Another rustle, and they picked up the pace. There was nothing behind them, though. Vidar didn’t like this.

Another twig snapped, and Gilbert burst into a sprint. He lept over a trench, ducking past trees and firing wildly. Vidar cursed, and ran after him. The forest veered and swam in front of him, but he dared not stop. Just ahead, Gilbert threw himself over a hay bale, and immediately let out a scream. There was the sound of gunshots, and Vidar was helpless, unable to react as he watched Berwald jump up and start firing.

It was like being punched in the heart. Except he was shot in the heart from a metre away.

“Damn you, Berwald!”

Berwald gave him the smallest, but smuggest smile. Vidar walked around the bale to find Gilbert sprawled out across the floor, groaning and covered in paint. Tino was next to him.

“How the fuck did you manage to get ahead of us?” Vidar bent over, panting.

Tino frowned. “You ran right into us. It was a little ridiculous.”

“So it was Berwald stalking us through the forest?”

The pair shook their heads. “Nope. We were just sitting here, planning our next move,” said Tino.

Gilbert frowned. “So what was following us?”

Everyone turned to look behind them. There was nothing there. The forest was deadly silent, everyone frozen in place. Vidar smacked Gilbert’s arm.

“Idiot, there was nothing chasing us. We got freaked out over the wind.”

“Ow, sorry. I panicked.”

“Yeah, we all saw.”

...

Despite Tino doing everything in his power to kill the fun for the rest of the group, it had been a good day overall. The games where they were just allowed to let loose and shoot everyone were the best, since Tino tended to take out everyone. Even though he was a sore loser and worse winner, the rage and/or gloating tended to evaporate soon after each game ended.

But now it was the last event, the Hunger Games, and Tino was hunting, gun clutched to his chest. The klaxon had just sounded, and he was already on the move, peering through the trees for any sign of the enemy. He kept low, not the most difficult task for someone of his height. He felt like a wolf, moving in silence, looking for prey. He could hear very distant shouts, shrieks and gunshots, but no visuals just yet. Only trees and props.

But it wasn’t long before he found his first target. Oh, beloved Berwald, so blind. So oblivious. He was crouched behind a pile of logs, unfortunately, he had his back facing Tino, and that was his exposed side.

Tino shot him without hesitation.

Berwald made a strangled noise, turning around and giving Tino the most poisonous glare possible. He almost felt bad.

“Sorry, baby,” he tried. Was Berwald actually mad at him? Was this the end for them.

“Y’bastard,” Berwald joked, “y’cruel, backstabbin man.” He didn’t get up, instead lying in the dirt, pretending to choke on blood.

“I am, and you fell for it,” relieved, Tino crouched down next to Berwald, taking off his helmet and stroking his hair. “You fell for me, the homme fatale.” He kissed his nose.

“D’ya, regret it?”

“”No”, I lie.”

Something very hard, and very painful, hit Tino’s arm. He screamed, not from getting shot, but from the rage of losing so quickly. He threw his helmet on the floor.

“Ha!” cried Luca, “finally! Get rekt, noob!”

[au-tumn-al]

So after 110 hours, I finally beat Persona 5 Royal. Before going into complete FFVII mode, I wanna lay out all my thoughts.

Blah, blah, blah, spoilers for everything under the cut.

To start off, I loved Royal. The gameplay was so much fun and it felt like such a natural evolution from vanilla P5. Probably my favorite change was what wad done with Baton Pass. Trying to pass to your entire party was very fun and very satisfying, especially if Joker got the ×4 or even ×3 and got to abuse a possibly charged Hassou Tobi lategame. It was pretty broken, but I don't mind things being broken once you go to the effort of figuring things out. Speaking of broken things—

Showtime attacks are super cool. I didn't know what to think of them at first because of how stupidly strong they are, but after I got to some harder boss fights where doing about 1k damage per attack would only get rid of about a small fraction of the shadow's health, I wasn't complaining.

(Also, I never actually got to see Joker and Violet's showtime. Oops.)

The fact that the damage scaled like that was really good, especially once you get into the third semester where party members have severe and colossal damage moves and even healer Morgana can do 150 damage per basic attack without buffs on an enemy without debuffs. The enemies' damage output remained kind of sad though, but uh....you can't win 'em all ;;

To finish showtime talk, Joker and Crow's showtime was heccin' great. I never skipped it. It was Batman in my animu JRPG so it was 10/10. It also did way more damage than most of my party members' showtime attacks so ey. It finished off that Yoshitsune request boss too with around 2.4k damage so I'm obligated to like it. On that note, how is showtime damage calculated? Do certain showtimes do more damage, or does it just depend on the offensive stats of the party members using it?

Technical damage was beefed up too, and I probably should have tried to take advantage of it more than I did but I never figured out how to make technical damage reliably knock an enemy down. I know that there was a way to do it but I never figured it out. Yes, yes, I know it was because I skipped tutorials but everything else was so busted, I never felt the need to go back and read said tutorials. I did read that book about technical damage though in-game, but it just added more technical combinations.

Onto other changes though, it could have been because I was playing on hard, but status ailments became about 10 times more useful. ...Actually, no, it was definitely because I was playing on hard, but even so, I felt like more bosses were weak to them when compared to P5. They went back to being mostly immune to them, especially in the new semester, but during and before October or so, status ailments became invaluable. It could have been because I sucked that much, but my party members, and even sometimes Joker, would get left with double or even single digit HP by near everything, even if I debuffed and buffed. Queen got regulated to a forget bot, but man it carried me through some boss fights. ... i.e., Kaneshiro's fight. Well, that and Mona's confuse.

I liked the Will Seeds too. They were a fun way to kind of change up the palaces and for me to hunt down. Even though yeah, they are pretty broken (especially with the accessory you get from the 2nd palace being able to get rid of elemental weaknesses for whoever has it equipped, not to mention the ability to give charge or concentrate to another party member), I still can't say I used them over my SP adhesives most of the time. I used the one that got rid of elemental weaknesses on Crow, but that was just because I could only use him and Joker at the time and did not want enemies to get another move on him to get another chance to hit either of them.

The changes to Mementos were amazing. Like the rest of them, they were pretty busted, but still. Amazing. I feel like I'm in the minority with this, but I didn't mind Mementos. In fact, I kind of liked going through the grind of going through it. Although...tbf, I kind of liked Tartarus too. Its 264 floors were a bit much, but I liked being able to turn off my brain, put on a podcast or YouTube video in the background for me to listen to then go through Tartarus in one or two in-game nights.

Back to Mementos, collecting stamps and flowers for Jose was fun, and being able to change the cognition for Mementos was busted. Since you can get EXP from auto-killing, you get over-leveled very fast. It doesn't help that you have to backtrack floors for stamps since they randomly generate, so you get even more money, experience, and items. On the bright side though, no, I didn't need to wander around singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad" with Mona and Skull for an hour and a half trying to find the materials for the Eternal Lockpick (which was renamed in Royal to Permapick ... I guess???)

Because of the changes you can make to boost item, money, and EXP gains, Mementos became the prime grinding area. Even more than the card shuffle thing in P3. Since you got so much EXP from ramming shadows even without leveling up EXP gain. I put all my stamps into getting more items and money until I couldn't anymore and I had near max every single crafting item, and never had to worry about the cost of anything ever. Combined with the money gains from killing shadows, you can also pick up sellable treasure from the item cubes in Mementos and it can end up selling for well over a million yen. So getting to max didn't even require Joker abusing the confuse status ailment or abusing the shadows with "You can do better than that."

I didn't mind the Mementos music, even when I was playing the game without something else playing for me to listen to, but now that Mementos does have new music, yeah, I realize now how much better it is. I wouldn't listen to it alone like I would Rivers in the Desert or anything, but it was a nice change. I listened to one of the songs before the game had its western release and didn't like it all that much, but actually playing the game while hearing it made me actually like it.

I got to level 99 though before the game was over. It made it so Joker and Crow were able to tag-team the Reaper then kill it in 3 turns. I had thought that trophy would have been a lot harder to get lol. It was pretty weird seeing the Reaper in such clear lighting though due to the new Mementos area though, I have to say.

Onto the bosses though...

I loved the changes to the bosses (except the 5th one but that's just because I hate everything about the 5th palace, even if Royal did make it about a million times more bearable).

Kameshida having cognitive Shiho and Mishima as helpers for the boss fight was such a good change, and made him about that much more hateable.

Madarame's boss fight in vanilla P5 was the hardest boss in the game for me, even on normal mode, but it was made so much easier in P5R. Madarame didn't bring back his painting form, but instead brought back elemental versions of himself specifically so the player can abuse Baton Pass. Baton Pass combos are extremely satisfying to pull off, so I enjoyed it immensely. Honestly, having that as the second boss in the game was so much of a better decision than what was in P5. That, or I'm still salty about all the deaths I had from fighting him the first time.

Kaneshiro was definitely harder, and I was a little stuck when he called his cronies out to guard him. Mona and Queen using confuse and forget while Skull and Joker attacked Kaneshiro made it a lot more bearable though. I also kept using spotlights on Joker so the enemies would attack him. He had Shiki Ouji equipped and they only ever did physical moves when my status effects missed, so I was never at risk for losing the fight. ... And then of course Skull and Queen finished it off with a showtime attack after Mona got yeeted.

Sphinx mom was a lot easier. I didn't know that the right dialogue choices made it so Oracle would guard you until someone told me, so I was sitting there surprised at how much easier it was lol. I did get stuck at the end though because it didn't look like I was damaging it. I thought Oracle needed to bring back the crossbow so I just kept buffing and healing. It took about 10 minutes for me to get bored and start attacking it again and it turned out I could attack it, but it was just that sphinx mom's HP wasn't visually moving before eventually going down. Joker still used Shiki Ouji which had learned an immunity to wind so. Easy victory (ignoring the part where I'm a dumbass).

I switched to easy mode for Okumura. I just did not care at all. I hate his palace, I hate the music, and the enemies could range from being easier to kill than the enemies in the first palace to being a pain in the ass, so I wanted to have it be over. If I didn't have an unreasonable hatred for the 5th palace though, I probably would have liked the change. It was challenging without being complete BS, at least much more challenging than how it was originally in P5. Having the enemies run off though did get pretty annoying when I was trying to beat it legit but I was just so done at that point, it was more on me than the game lol.

Part of the reason why I was so eager to get through Okumura's palace though was to get to Sae's palace. Because I love Sae's palace, and just in general, the entire month of November. It has amazing story bits, still the height of P5's story if you ask me, a great palace, and Whims of Fate is one of my favorite tracks from P5's OST. Sae's boss was even changed to when she spins the wheel, whatever element it goes to, she uses that element and her resistances would change. I loved that, and it was extremely fun to take what you more or less should have learned about enemies' attacks and their correlating weaknesses and use them for a boss fight. So much better than the original where you don't need strategy at all other than "hit her hard lol."

Shido's boss fight was changed to be super climactic. They made it easier for the sake of Joker being able to confront the dude that got him a criminal record and directly ruining his life, and I can't complain. It felt amazing to 1v1 him. The game fixed the possibility of being screwed by it by having him attack in a certain order like the twins do in their special fight, so that was nice at least.

Yaldabaoth's boss fight was the same. Still easy enough, as long as you're careful. Or...not careful but extremely lucky. I wasn't able to finish it off while it was charging up its almighty attack, but my entire party ended up dodging it so it didn't even matter lmao. Now that I think about it, it very easily could have been because of that one Will Seed accessory that makes you dodge attacks but... I don't care. I was still super lucky I didn't get wiped and be forced to start the fight over starting from the Holy Grail.

The new boss... Uhm... It was taking way too long so I ended up cheesing it with Haru's third persona's new move that basically makes you invincible for a turn halfway through the fight. ^^; Noir was a Vault Guardian bot, Queen just healed and took advantage of one of the tentscles' nuclear weaknesses to Baton Pass to Crow when she could, and then Joker and Crow did all the work. Crow's third tier persona's almighty move kicked ass and you know what else kicked ass? Hassou Tobi abuse. The other 2 phases weren't even really fights, so at least that kept it from dragging too much, despite all the phases it had.

When Joker and the boss had that punch-out fight though, I lost my shit. I was laughing so hard I started to cry and my back was hurting. I don't even remember why I thought it was so funny, but I was laughing my ass off. I couldn't even press X to get Joker to punch because I was laughing so hard. Right before it happened, I joked to my sister that a tutorial would pop up and suddenly the gameplay will have the controls from that P4 fighting game and you have to learn that in order to have one last showdown. And then I got the prompt to punch. Then Joker punched. And I started laughing.

11/10 would punch Adam Kadmon man again

On the topic of the new stuff though...

Kasumi/Sumire/Violet was pretty fun to use but badly, badly overshadowed by both Joker and Crow, at least during boss fights. She offered to join the party before Shido's palace and she really should have joined then. Maybe she would just be absent for the Mementos dungeon & Yaldabaoth/Holy Grail boss fights, but she should have been there for Shido's palace. I liked her wanted gimmick of being the crit'er, but when you get her, Mona's third tier persona learns an AOE Lucky Punch, Joker already has high crit, and I would always baton pass to Crow because of his severe almighty AOE ×3. Plus, the way I built my Joker with practically exclusively two personas, Yoshitsune and Kuguya Picaro, he was already the phys and light attacker except with the addition of being able to have an auto-concentrate at the start of every fight (I have no idea why—it's something with Yoshitsune but idk what it is), the charge skill, Yoshitsune's nature of tripling the effect of charge, and the additional electric damage. She should have been a party member before the new semester. Obviously this isn't the case for everyone, but for me personally, I didn't often find use for her, especially since she can't do colossal or even severe magic damage. She is a very good physical party member, but again, Joker already covers that better than any other party member can, including Skull.

Crow was a great party member though. I used him in every request and boss fight after I got him. I was a little salty he couldn't switch back and forth from Loki and Robin Hood but I suppose if he did, he'd make Violet even more obsolete lol. I liked Loki while playing P3, so I'm glad I was able to use that persona again. He had Debilitate which was amazing. Queen learns Checkmate when getting to the third tier persona, which is an AOE version of it, but honestly, whenever I was fighting a boss that I thought needed it at that point in the game, I didn't need it to be multi-hitting. Plus, it costed about 90 SP and no way I was using that over her healing, defense buffs, and nuclear damage.

But anyway, back to Crow, I loved using him. He basically turned into my almighty damage dealer, even with his somewhat weaker magic, at least compared to his strength stat, but considering the final boss fight, it was extremely helpful. It did take up a lot of SP, but I had 5 Somas, a ton of SP restoratives, and had basically asked Kawakami to make me either curry or coffee every single night I was able to, so I pretty much had an infinite supply of it.

It helped that P5R made Akechi a much more likable character too. I liked him all right in P5, but didn't find him all that sympathetic, and thought that the characters treating him so sympathetically was extremely jarring considering all the horrible shit he did (which includes making orphans of both Haru and Futaba). That still kind of holds true, but since you can actually build a social link with him outside of the story, you can see more of his character and it improved him in leaps and bounds. Not to mention that his 8th confidant rank was....something else ^^; having a section of the new story too with just Joker and Akechi, (and kind of Sumire too, but mostly just those two) was awesome. I loved seeing them team up to punch Adam Kadmon man in the face. Plus, having more time with him in the Phantom Thieves without pretense had him going "I am surrounded by idiots" basically the whole time he was there. Like—I even felt disappointed that Akechi was actually dead and he didn't survive. That's a huge improvement over from me wishing one of the dialogue options was "fuck you lmao" during his death scene at the end of Shido's palace when he asked the Phantom Thieves to promise him to change Shido's heart.

For Sumire though, she had a good character arc. Like her gameplay though, she was badly overshadowed by both Akechi and Maruki. Even still, I liked her character arc and everything, and her social link. Even if I ended up liking Kasumi more in the end anyway rip

That's kind of all I have to say about her, oof. She was good, but other elements took attention away from her pretty badly.

Maruki though... Maruki was amazing. He was a fantastic antagonist because I got to punch him in the face, his palace was amazing, I loved the music, the different sections were cool, and I even liked the color maze bridge puzzle thing. I definitely wouldn't like it so much if I ever replayed it, especially if I try to get that final Will Seed, which wasn't hard, but did take kind of a while, but I don't think I will be so it's not a problem.

He had such good motivations, and the fact that he didn't ever actually hurt anyone other than when he punched Joker in the face made him really sympathetic and redeemable to me. At the end of the day, all he actually wanted to do was make people happy and not have to suffer, and was willing to destroy himself in order to achieve it. But just like with every belief, it went too far and he took away people's free will and ability to pick for themselves. The kind of moral question about the entire thing was very interesting, and I kind of wish it was more further addressed. There should have been Sojiro or some other character that was perfectly happy in Maruki's alternate reality so they could challenge the Phantom Thieves in a way Maruki wasn't able to. Still, what was done was really good and I liked it a lot.

...

Even all that said, I have no idea why the hell Joker could not use Satanael. There was such a perfect opportunity to use it once Maruki evolved his persona to Adam Kadmon, a giant persona. Hell, it was still small when compared to Satanael. It's after beating Yaldabaoth so Joker should have access to it. It would have been epic to be able to use a giant Satanael in a normal-ish boss fight. I'm sure there are some explanations as to why, but the game never mentions it or even acknowledges Satanael so it doesn't count and I'm still bitter. The writers forgot that Joker has a persona literally as big as a cognitive god and that kind of broke some immersion for me. Immersion completely went out the window once Joker and Maruki started punching each other but STILL. Satanael's not that great a persona, but having it show up in the story again would have been so awesome to use a persona about as big as Shibuya more than once.

Hardly comparable to my beef about Satanael, but I wish that while the party members were acting as Phantom Thieves, or at least while they're in the metaverse, the names on their text boxes would change to their Phantom Thief names. There's no reason why they didn't, especially since the characters exclusively use their Phantom Thief names to call each other anyway. It's not a huge deal or anything, but I would have liked it.

I loved Royal, and totally think it's better than P5 vanilla. Its new semester kind of takes away from the superb ending of the vanilla game, but the new stuff still makes up for it. Don't get me wrong, you can still get the original ending from the vanilla game in Royal, at least I'm pretty sure you can, but it involves you missing out on all the new content, including Violet as a party member and getting Crow back, plus Joker's showtimes so it's not worth it imo

I wasn't actually looking forward to the game when it was announced, or even planning on getting it, but I had the Phantom Thieves' edition pre-ordered for me as a Christmas present so I wasn't going to...not play it lol. I'm extremely glad I got it though, even if I otherwise wouldn't have, and now that I have finished it, I'm very happy with the game. The gameplay's improved by leaps and bounds, and the new content was all amazing.

... And I got to punch Maruki in the face.

I did end up getting the platinum trophy for Royal too, so despite the Phantom Thieves den thing, I don't see myself going back to it, at least any time soon. It was an amazing experience, but I can set my sights back to FFVII now lol.

...Although, I did hear you can fight the twins and Lavenza so uhhh maybe i won't be shelfing it so soon—

[tslasvegas]

Episode 8: “On the upside we got the numbers.” - Andrew (who is then voted out by those numbers)

It’s always a sad and unfortunate thing when a player needs to leave a game for personal reasons. I’m wishing Kevin all the best! 

Welp. I don't wanna say that this sucks, but this sucks. My closest ally walked from the game, and I hope he's ok. I really hope everything is ok with him. But now, I'm a green in a world of pinks. What my pink friends don't realize though, is I have a Safety Without Power advantage. Nobody knows about it. So if we lose, they cannibalize themselves, and that will be a sight to see. But I'd like to keep my advantage for as long as possible. But if we lose, that'll be a fun tribal council. I can only hope it's a double tribal. Now this - this is a redemption arc.

If a merge at 13 is next, then we are done! ugh. 

MERGE HAPPENS

We merged!! And I only had to attend a single tribal council in the premerge with 8 eliminations. That’s wild! We’re sitting here in merge with 7 OG Palazzo, 3 OG Bellagio and 3 OG Luxor. If Palazzo sticks together, we’d have the majority whichever way you look at it. However, I don’t imagine that group is going to stick together very long. Joey wants to get myself and Jaiden into single digits. I’d love to help get Jake into single digits as well. And I’d also like to get Livingston to at least 6th place. Honestly a group of that 5 sounds like a pretty good idea, and I might pitch it to Joey later today. And now we’re doing mastermind! A game I love but rarely ever win. I usually come close and I’m hoping this time around I can snag a win and be safe this first tribal. Nothing is scarier than the merge round of the game. Anything at all can happen. There’s still some idols and extra votes floating around, maybe some steal a votes too. There’s also that safety without power and the legacy advantage, which may be able to be played this round? Exciting things are brewing im sure. 

We made the merge!!

So OG Palazzo must be tight. Good thing Steph and Joey are still reaching out. But I don't know if we can build up a resistance with the non-OGPalazzo. I mean, in theory, it can happen. 6 of us, with a steal a vote. But so much has happened voting on opposite sides, I don't know if it is doable. We can try. Better to go out blazing at 13th, than just waiting for your turn to be voted out before F7.

I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN... okay I feel good about my surroundings, as well as the people I’m next to. OG Palazzo wants to go all the way to Final 7, but I know that ain’t gonna happen, cause I’m turning on them as fast as humanly possible. I need others to see that I’m a strengthener to their games, and now that its every player for themselves, I think I can grab some allies and make shit happen. I have a Legacy Advantage, and I’m just trying to get to 6.

I’m sad I lost all my chips. On the upside we got the numbers

MERGE BITCH

Ok but for serious I don't have much to say so I'm just going to do an assessment of everyone on the tribe. Andrew - I thought I was gonna like Andrew bc I thought he was c*te then I find out he likes The Sims so there was something easy for us to talk about!! But then... come to find out. He's not really interested in talking I guess. So I'm just going to leave him alone and not carry on a conversation. Ben - WHY is Ben still here. I'm so annoyed. Ben tries so hard to be my ally but I don't trust him that much. Before the merge, he pitched a plan to pool our coins (meaning: I had to send him all of mine) so that I could spin the wheel and avoid going bankrupt. Then he said we're a final two. I was like,,, no thanks. I feel like he's going to blow up his game at some point, but I just gotta pretend better to be on his side. Idk how to do that exactly... Jake - Jake has been THE biggest surprise of the merge to be honest. I actually really like Jake. He's a little "irritating" I guess, but more in the sense that he is just pretty bro-y and that's not my energy. I respect Jake's desire to be great in Tumblr Survivor, we have that in common here. I think right now, Jake and I are as close as you can get to working together without actually being a legitimate alliance. I want to see where this takes us because he's a cool guy and I really feel bad for talking shit about him before the merge. Jeff - Part of me likes Jeff, but part of me views him as the enemy simply because he's part of the "Palazzo 7". I want to try and work on Jeff because maybe he and I see things the same way? I don't think this game is strictly "seven strong" like Joey perpetuates, I'll get to that in a minute though. Anyways, I want to see how things go with Jeff cuz he seems like a cool dude and I'm definitely a meninist and want to be his bitch! Joey - I hate that I'm in a position where I both know Joey is vital for my game right now, but also that I can't stand his strategy. I like him as a person, let's make that very clear for the post-season - I just don't subscribe to his idea that there's a seven person alliance (which btw includes him according to numbers???) running the show. I will definitely feel Joey out some more before I make any decision to attach myself to him fully or throw him to the wolves. John - THREAT. I'm on high alert for John and kinda trying to maintain a safe, social-distancing-approved level of space between us. I think that John is definitely running things at least in one or two circles and I don't want him to turn that target around on me. I also can't let him know that I'm onto him. John is probably playing it where everybody just likes him and includes him in plans, but in the event that he is pulling strings, that's where the issues start. Kailyn - I don't really care for Kailyn anymore tbh. I kinda think Kailyn is playing a good under the radar game and I think it's in a lot of people's benefit to send her off to the jury sooner rather than later. I have no read on who she's close with though so that's the danger. Probably John? But who knows. Keegan - I also am surprised that I like Keegan as much as I do. He seemed a little bit too smart for his own good? But he's actually rather nice. He flops like I do but I think he's a danger if I'm not careful. I'll keep on this guy and hopefully he doesn't target me <3 I'd rather work with Keegan than against him especially now. 

Livingston - WOW I thought I'd like Livingston but goddamn this guy is BORING. Not only does he not message back, but he has nothing interesting to provide to a conversation. If he was the first person to go this round I wouldn't really be upset oop Pat - We talked a lot about drag race. We played an org together and I remember now that Pat was fucking IRRELEVANT so I'm surprised to see this new energy. Who are you and what did you do with the real Pat? Stephanie - I don't really like Stephanie's strategy either, she's just too damn likable and kind of floats on by, I wish she had left last time instead of Rachael because then it's likely Rachael gets the boot soon. But we'll see what happens. I just hope that me voting for her isn't going to kill our relationship and we can work together at some point, at least until she gets voted out. Xavier - I have a hard time reading Xavier. I think I'm calmed down from feeling threatened by him. I trust Xavier enough to not go and screw up a vote again, but does he trust me? Don't really know. I want to work with Xavier at least for a couple votes but I know that he and Ben aren't on good terms and Ben is a vote that I need right now :/ The issue I have with Xavier is that he is positioning himself to kinda be a doormat just doing whatever people want and not necessarily.. taking control of how people look at him I guess. He sticks out for being the "dad" on the tribe and doesn't bring a lot of his own personality to conversation - it's just really basic strategy. I don't know anything about him that I didn't have to go fucking find out about him on his public YouTube. Insert clown emoji here. Anyways, overall I feel okay about my chances on this tribe... So far. I honestly don't see myself playing a winning game right now - BUT it's final thirteen and there is a lot of time to turn that around for myself. I feel good in comparison to my previous Tumblr Survivor seasons because there hasn't been a vote where I've completely made myself stand out like a sore thumb. My head is in a good place to finish out this game strong, just gotta put the pedal to the metal and work shit out. Maybe win a couple challenges! Whatever twists are ahead... I'm not prepared. But I am going to walk away from this season for the better, one way or another. Eight people down, twelve left to go. 

Well, I came close to winning but unfortunately didn't. Kailyn won immunity and we had a twist where we all had to choose between two buttons. Aaaaand Kailyn now has immunity this tribal and next tribal. Lovely. After the challenge, Andrew immediately threw out Jake's name, which was worrying but I think Jeff and I have managed to sway things towards Ben. Which is a little scary, since it's highly possible he has an idol or advantage (though he did play an idol on himself at the Rachael boot. So maybe not?) Now, the question is going to become: how do Livingston and myself navigate these next few tribals with Jake? We need to keep him safe and the target off his back. There's also Joey and Jaiden who I definitely want to keep working with moving forward. I think I'm in a decent spot. I really don't see Jaiden or Jake keeping their mouth shut if my name comes up. I think I've managed to build enough of a bond with them that they won't target me. My concern is definitely Ben being a little sneak, as well as Kailyn and Xavier, who really don't talk at all. John... can also be kinda sneaky and he also has been super quiet. However, when all is said and done, I just want a single digit placement. I don't care what happens before/after that, just please let me get there. 

My first merge in 3 seasons of Tumblr Survivor, finally! It would be awesome if the tyrannical force of pink wasn’t here. Right now I’m practically a sitting duck. I’ve made connections with Jaiden and Joey who I just met, I’m hoping they’d watch my back. Ben and I are great friends from outside the game, we’re called the Jew-O Duo, for obvious reasons. I’m in a duo with Jeff called Jeff Squared, a duo with Pat called The Best Men, a trio with Liv and Keegan (that’s super dangerous cause I know they’re friends), and me John and Xavier are the Luxor Losers. I should feel protected - but I don’t. I need to keep working socially and hope that I can scoot by a couple more rounds. I wanna buddy up with Steph and Kailyn, I have no interest in working with Andrew after he flat out told me he wasn’t turning on Pink. It could be me tonight. We’ll just have to see.

....five seconds later

No. No no no no no no no. I'm sick of Andrew trying to get me out, and then going after my allies instead. I can't just sit here and let him walk all over me the entire game. He has been wishy washy and fake with me since I met him. I'm not gonna play a game of what ifs, I'm taking a gamble and gonna get his own tribe to flip on him. I've got enough information from Jeff, Pat, and Liv to spin into a lie. I know Andrew said my name - but Jeff and Keegan changed it to Ben, so if I tell Keegan that Andrew blamed him on my name coming up I think I can flip him. I can try to get John, Ben, and Xavier, Keegan can get Liv and Joey, that's 7. If it blows up in my face - Oh well. This is season 99! We're high rolling now.

Had a nice long conversation with Jake this morning. Andrew has been throwing my name under the bus for some reason? Well Andrew, better watch out because I’m driving that bus and swerving it at you. OG Palazzo is... not my favourite. Honestly I’m okay if it dies tonight. Jake, Livingston, Ben, Joey, Jaiden and myself can definitely switch things up. I imagine we can get John and Xavier on board as well, maybe even Kailyn. I was perfectly okay riding the pink wave for a few rounds, but Andrew you just had to go and mess that up. Why? For what reason? Hoping it’s you tonight. xoxo Gossip Girl

I feel good about tribal, rip Andrew I guess, but I'm nervous as hell for some reason that it could be me. It would be perfect because I don't even see it coming... :/

I don't know what happened, but there seems to be a "merging" of tribal lines. Which is good for me. The vote is going Andrew with 9. And the 4 are voting Ben. Or everyone is playing everyone. I am just happy I am not one of the options BUT I was told that Steph and I are being mentioned by people as a tight 2. Well, they're right, but I didn't want that to come out.

Andrew is being his paranoid self. And rightfully so. Unless I’m getting completely bamboozled, the vote should between 7 and 9 votes for Andrew, and between 6 and 4 votes for Ben. Fingers crossed this goes off without a hitch

Okay so premerge wasn’t too hard tbh. Just making friendships with my og palazzo. I just hope that every week people see someone else as less important to their game. I have a long mental game for this and I am prepared to take this game week by week and adjust to everything that comes. I just pray that I make it through this week and even if I lose Andrew I don’t mind tbh because then I have an idol to myself. I’m obsessed with Livingston tbh he’s so funny and I like a good amount of the people I didn’t get a chance to meet premerge so I think there’s good room to move about 

After last tribal I honestly want Ben gone. He’s kind of rude and frustrating. OG Pallazzo has the numbers so in theory we should be set but who knows? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[crasherfly]

Weekly Update

It’s a privilege to write about personal shit this week.

There’s not much I can add to the conversation about the election, suffice to say it was both better and worse than expected, and I’m glad that society isn’t immediately collapsing, at least this week.

Which is to say I’ve never been so glad to focus on my stupid, deeply low-stakes life updates. Obviously, the future is still uncertain and there will be plenty of work to do in the days and years ahead, but a week ago, I wasn’t certain if I’d be witness to a reality where questions like “how did a week of not drinking go” and “what are you playing” still matter.

So without further ado...

It was a challenging week, obviously.

Not just the election- I’m talkin’ for like- EVERYTHING. Home life. Work life. Creative life. I could go on. You get the idea.

I went on full blown quarantine as of last Friday after learning a member of my household may have covid. You wouldn’t think it was much of a change from my normal every day, but man, I did not realize just how many little things were working together to keep my sanity together.

A short list- weekend walks to pick up morning coffee, Friday night carry-out sushi and pizza, my weekly groceries at the co-op, and most importantly- trips to the weight room- all suddenly off the table until testing results come in. 

In my state, testing often requires booking at least 3 days in advance, and it can take another 3-4 days just to get results back. Luckily, everyone in my home works remotely, so this doesn’t put us out too bad. I can’t imagine now non-remote workers manage. Even so, having to toss all the precious little things I’d managed to keep despite the pandemic stung. I even had to put my wrestling watch parties on hold- they took place on Discord, but one of my friends would normally come over to watch. 

I’ve worked through a lot of huffy anger and annoyance over the course of the past few days. Losing my ability to get to the gym as the weather turns especially hurts. As a weight lifter, I’m pretty reliant on what the gym offers. Early into the pandemic I got a lot of folks snidely telling me to go lift paint cans. I resisted the temptation to tell them they could in turn pay for my back surgery. Thanks to the pandemic I’ve learned that the gym is actually a need for me, emotionally and physically. Losing it, even for a week, feels awful. I can’t wait to get back to it. 

Until then, jogging and biking will have to suffice.

One positive- I’ve gone a week without drinking!

Based on my tracking, that’s actually the longest I’ve since June, which is nuts.

Predictably, I have gained weight. Because no good deed goes unpunished. 

I don’t know if I’d say I notice any life-changing effects yet. For all I know, my body is still adjusting to the sudden absence of all the shit it’s normally used to working in overdrive to break down.

A few things I’ve noticed- my runs are going slightly better, I can stay up later working on games or creative endeavors, and I’m actually experiencing REM cycles again- meaning I’m dreaming, and dreaming vividly. I also get incredibly hungry around 10:30 every night- because, surprise!- that’s when I’d normally sit down with a beer or glass of sake. So I’m working on finding ways around that.

I can’t say I’ve felt a huge urge to drink. I occasionally wonder when, or indeed if, I’ll grab a glass of beer again any time soon. But beyond that, it’s been pretty easy to lay off. The fatigue alone was just such a pain to work through, not to mention the way a glass of beer would just kinda pin me into place for the rest of the night. I like how active my brain is now in the late hours.

But I do watch a lot less anime now :(

On that note, here’s what I’ve been playing lately!

Outer Worlds (XBONE)

So, you probably missed it last post- probably ‘cuz I forgot to write about it in my first draft, but I wrote about my Total Kill Run that I just wrapped up in Outer Worlds. 

The short and dirty version for those of you who can’t be bothered to go back and read- I tried to do a run where I killed every NPC in Outer Worlds, a space RPG from the Obsidian, and instead got sidetracked with completing the nefarious Board’s story and ended up doing a Board run instead. 

I was surprised by how humor and wit the game brings to its commentary on your wanton slaughter. The devs were not bluffing when they said you could kill anyone and anything in Outer Wilds and they even prepared a few nice moments in anticipation that some players would try.

I was disappointed to find that the Board’s mission- and indeed, some of the progression points I followed on my own go-it-alone-and-kill-everything story, mirrored the Good Guy story beat-for-beat, basically shrugging and saying “well, you’re gonna do this anyway, like it or not”. At several given points you can kill everyone you like- but you’ll still have to find that keycard, access that terminal, or visit that far off map point now matter how hard you try to get out of it.

I was finally struck by how little I missed. I skipped A LOT of stuff- almost every sidequest and all the companion quests. And you know what? I had a fine time. I might even say I had a better time. So much time in Outer Wilds is devoted to fetching, traveling, and sitting in load screens. Turns out you do less of all of that when you just go guns blazing into every civilized map.

Some friends earlier this week were talking about revisiting old Bethesda-style RPGs like Fallout: New Vegas and Skyrim. It got me thinking about whether or not I would bother doing that myself any time soon. It’s true those are better games than Outer Worlds. But if the point of Outer Worlds is to echo those positive experiences so closely...what does my recent experience say about the source of that reflection?

Just a thought I’m chewing on. I don’t have a good answer. But feel free to HMU if you have your own thoughts!

NeoGeo Arcade Stick Pro- Art of Fighting, Samurai Shodown, Fatal Fury, World Heroes 2

Friday night I sat down at my desk, dimmed the lights and hooked up my NeoGeo Arcade Stick Pro. On my second monitor, I brought up move lists for King of Fighters ‘95 and started my fighting game learning journey.

I did OK, in my opinion. I stuck to just learning the hero team- Kyo, Daimon, and Benimaru. I even managed to trigger a few level 1 supers. I think I could safely beat the average player at an arcade now- but there’s definitely plenty of system I came nowhere close to learning all the ins and outs. However, after trying out a few subsequent KOF games, it seems like my learning should transfer forward.

I also tried out a few other games on the stick. Art of Fighting and Fatal Fury aren’t games I’ve had prior exposure to. In my experience, they seemed a little slower than KOF. The command lists were definitely shorter. Samurai Shodown was absolutely gorgeous and felt really, really good to play. I could see getting really into it. 

My big highlight was World Heroes 2, which I ended up playing most of the night. It’s a bit sillier than the previously noted titles, but it has a really fun roster and a good, medium-sized move list that isn’t too taxing to remember. I had seen some of the characters, like Johnny Maximum, on the Spriteclub roster, so it was cool to see them in their native environment.

Overall, the Arcade Stick Pro is holding up nicely. The stick itself is solid, and the deck is a natural fit on my lap or desktop. I’m not noticing any serious input lag and the buttons seem really responsive. Of all my retro consoles, this might become one of my favorites.

Endless Space 2

AMPLITUDE’s 4x sci-fi has entered hallowed realms of my “Games I will Be Playing 20 Years From Now” list. A massive, sprawling turn-based strategy about managing a spacefaring empire, Endless Space 2 is great for those weeks where I want to play a 4X that I can resolve within 20 hours.

For my most recent run, I once again took up my favored faction, the Riftborn. Every game is a learning experience, so this time around I was determine to try and tackle the massive and deeply inconvenient quests that Endless Space 2 mercilessly slews at you every_damn_turn.

I was mostly successful. I didn’t finish my faction’s quest, but I did complete the Academy quests. Throughout every game the Academy looms as this impartial faction that hires out heroes and provides boons to those who donate resources to it. In the endgame, the Academy offers a quest that forces every active civilization to choose sides regardless of existing alliances. Depending on the results, the last phases of Endless Space 2 can look very different

I finished the questline, unlocked a cool cinematic and learned that next time I should definitely not ignore those quests, however obnoxious they might be. The faction buffs earned from successful completion are....pretty wild.

Sunless Skies

Another week, another dead captain in Sunless Skies. This captain had a particularly long run- I had managed about...15 hours with him before losing him to some enemies that I was not at all prepared to fight. Death comes quick in Sunless Skies- a single bad decision can lead to swift death.

This run I at least managed to bank a ton of valuable supplies and upgrade my engine. My next captain will have a better shot as a result. I’m not sure when I’ll pick the game back up. After a particularly long run I usually take a long break- weeks or even months. We’ll just see what happens.

Pokemon Shield

I’ve finally, FINALLY beaten the endgame of Pokemon Shield. At least, I think I have. I’m sure there’s a few more things to do here or there, but for the most part, I think I’m done. I beat the champion and saw the credits roll. There’s some DLC to visit and more ‘mon to catch, but mostly, I’m done.

I had the opportunity to take care of some trade evolutions and partake in a friendly battle with a friend. It was the first time I’ve done that since...I kid you not...the playground in 5th grade.

It was...really fun?

I’m a deeply casual pokemon player. I don’t search for shiny ‘mon or suss out perfect numbers. I just use who I think looks cool and I try to keep type and consideration in mind. As a result, my friend and I had to agree on some ground rules for average levels- but the result was a compelling match.

I found myself afterwards making plans for another battle night. This tends to happen in November- I get really into Pokemon again for a few weeks. Historically, this is ‘cuz I’m normally traveling a lot for the holidays. That won’t be true this year, but old habits die hard.

Maybe I’ll even bust out my 3DS again soon. Who knows?

Quest 2: Revisited

Last week, I posted some thoughts about the Oculus Quest 2. I’ve spent another week with the headset, testing some new features and trying some more involved experiences. I’m happy to report my thoughts on the machine are still positive.

If anything, my impressions are MORE positive than before. My eyes have grown used to the world of VR. I’ve found a setting on the out-of-box headstrap that I don’t hate. And I’m finding more experiences than I initially suspected I might.

I’ve had a change to run the Link option, for instance, which allows you to use your Quest 2 as a Rift. It’s actually pretty seamless, requiring only a good desktop and a USB cable. My cable seemed to suffer from some bad speeds, so my experience was pretty laggy, but with an approved cable, I have no doubt the Quest 2 could handle just about anything you throw at it.

I finished Superhot, and have only raving reviews to offer. It is a perfect introduction to all the Quest 2 can do. Given limited space, Superhot places you in do-or-die situations where you must dodge, duck and shoot your way through enemies. When you move- time movies- so you will often find yourself forced to take stock of your surroundings before making your next step.  

It is sharp, offers a great mix of puzzle solving and brisk action, and even serves as an ad-hoc workout. Picking it up with your Quest 2 is a must.

Encouraged by Superhot, I gave Job Simulator a try. It is a zany VR experience that humorously simulates a number of white collar job environments. It is short, funny, and with no shortage of silly interactions. I spent several minutes in my digital office cube shooting staples into neighboring cubes and giggling at the angry responses of my co-workers. WHO THREW THAT. STAND UP.

Finally, I’ve taken some time to try and get into the streaming world beyond the Mozilla app. It has been both encouraging and...well, not so much. I’ve mostly been dinking around in Bigscreen, an app that offers a number of Pluto TV channels in digital theater environments. You log into a room with other people, who appear as avatars, and you all watch the shows together.

Well, sorta. Most people don’t really watch the shows so much as they throw digital tomatoes at the screen and shout upsetting shit at each other. The server population seems really low, so the massive theaters take on the quality of a creepy XXX cinema, where one always feels a bit apprehensive of who they might meet.

At its best, Bigscreen is genuinely funny. I’ve made nightly stops at the Star Trek theater, which plays old reruns of Next Generation. The most enjoyable moments come in the spirit of MST3K, with witty comments and memes as people throw digital refreshments at the screen. I’ve found myself giggling despite myself.

At its worst, Bigscreen is a deeply racist and sexist hideaway full of the types of folks you’d normally shush the hell out of in a real theater. You can mute people, but it’s a tedious task. A reporting function also exists, but who knows how or if its being enforced at all. Finally, unless you’re doing a film rental, you’re going to be subjected to commercials on everything from erectile pills to The Blaze. I’ve described it to others as being Peak Late Night Cable: The App. If that appeals to you, well, it’s there and it’s free.

I’ve tried streaming my desktop, both on Bigscreen and via Oculus Link. Both were very laggy. There’s a very popular desktop streaming app I could try, but it costs IRL money. Honestly, most of what I’d want out of my desktop streaming I already get from Mozilla. 

I like the Quest 2 a lot. I hope we see more experiences tailored specifically to it, as opposed to through the Link function or via desktop streaming.

Dungeons and Dragons

I finally wrapped up my improv sessions with my local DND group. Having just finished The Lost Mines of Phandelver, I wanted to take some time between campaigns to improv and get off the grid a bit.

The result was 4 sessions, 2 hours each, where I had nothing prepared in advance and I let my players take the lead. I gave them a map I’d built of the region and told them we could go anywhere they like.

My party ended up splitting into two groups- one heading to Castle Grayhawk, and one to Neverwinter. Antics ensued, personal quests furthered, and by the end, everyone felt ready for our next adventure at the Salt Marshes.

An interesting takeaway- when doing improv sessions, I had almost zero fights. I never once broke out the battleboard and only a handful of attack rolls were even attempted. 

I, personally, like combat a great deal. So I don’t think that will be my style forever. But it was interesting to see what my sessions could look like without it, especially after such a combat-heavy campaign.

Anime

I’ll be honest- I’ve fallen really behind on this season’s anime. I have so many hobbies, and one thing gets shoved aside for another, necessarily so. This time, it’s anime and manga. I promise I’ll get back on the horse soon.

As the year winds down, I’m already thinking about my experiences over the past year and what my end of the year experience list will look like.

I’ve seen so many amazing titles this year.

Like, I get deeply, viscerally emotional when I think about Re:Zero. 

My heart races as I think of the thrilling high points of Tower of God.

I delight in my inner goth kid as I ruminate in experiences like Gleipnir and Berserk.

I’m going to have a lot to talk about. Just thinking about it motivates me to get out there and see more.

[nyrator]

been feeling like venting, so just some random vents- then afterwards, JSRF ramblings because I just beat that game

turning 29 at the end of the week, not looking forward to it- turning 30 next year terrifies me

mother’s funeral was friday, got that out of the way relatively painlessly (other than having to spend an extra 800 dollars just to bury my sister with her, about $4500 by the end of it

gofundme raised about $2000, other donations about $1300 last I counted (probably higher), so most of it was covered

yesterday my mother’s 70 year old best friend held a party at a bar for my mother’s friends and I was obligated to go, bunch of crazy old women talking like sailors, drinking and smoking pot and laughing about all the drugs they did and all the times they got raped (yeahhhh), the only person I was comfortable around was the best friend. And then the party ends two hours late, we’re getting kicked out of the bar, and this friend falls bending down to grab a picture of my mother that she dropped, smashes her face into the floor, and collapses with a pool of blood under her face, unmoving, right in front of me. I couldn’t get the words out that I’d go and pick the photo up for her before she went to get it, and I regret it

Thankfully, she only had a concussion and a broken nose, she started responding after about a minute of just lying there, but it messed me up, I think.

I’ve been debating if I want to start drinking. I never tried before, mainly because my father was an abusive and violent alcoholic. The other reason is because I’m afraid what I’d do to myself if I had no inhibitions in place, I feel like I’d be very dangerous to myself.

neck has been stiff for two days. Probably slept on it wrong. Also keep feeling like I get different symptoms of covid every so often after exposing myself to the public (that bar was packed with old people who wouldn’t wear masks and had no concept of personal space). Today my throat’s been sore and I can barely breathe.

my boss told me I can go back to work as soon as the funeral’s finished- not sure if I should call her to remind her or wait for her to call me, she texted me last week and I told her the funeral was on friday. But my coworker was also wondering and asked me today, and I didn’t know what to tell her, since my boss doesn’t want me to let her know just yet because of how limited they’re open (three days a week, four hours a day)

relationships are very hard

I’m a terrible person who does the bare minimum to help someone who’s terribly lonely and depressed, and it’s like I’m backed into a corner in desperation from being unable to do anything about it. I’ve caused so much harm to this relationship that I wonder if there’s any way it can survive sometimes

It’s always the case, though- I can’t get myself to do more than the minimum effort it takes, and my social anxiety prevents me from ever initiating anything, which has cost me so many people that I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. And I can feel that awful, selfish bitterness inside of me, that part of my father and my sister that’s in me that I try to suppress, and I hate it.

my diet is going well enough, lost over five pounds since starting it late August. But it’s mostly because I just dislike eating, so eating in portions is easier for me. And then there are days like today, where I just don’t eat at all. Just ate one slice of bread, 30g of peanut butter, and a small cup of ice cream today, and I don’t even feel hungry. Normally I try to get some food in me, but today I’m just too disgusted to even try to make dinner.

My sleep’s also been weird, still. Been going to bed later and later again, but can’t stay asleep. Usually only sleep in bouts of 3-4 hours, then just lay awake until I’m half asleep long enough that I feel the urge to give up and get up. It’s been like that for weeks now, I can’t remember the last full night of sleep I’ve gotten.

In lighter news, finally got back to playing JSRF. Beat it the other night after 24.5 hours of game time, just have a few more challenges left (did everything from Dogenzaka Hill to the Bottom of the Sewage Facility so far), got all graffiti and souls possible before beating the final boss. Played it via emulator (which worked great except for crashing when entering the graffiti selection occasionally) with a Switch Pro Controller, felt really good. I own it and the original Xbox for it, but just am spoiled by a PC experience, I suppose.

The gameplay is great, but the level design leaves a funny taste in my mouth. Aesthetics are worse than JSR for me, while music... it’s tough to say, it’s different than JSR, but really grew on me. Sometimes it felt more like noise (I remember the Sewage tracklist not speaking to me too much at first with the more ambient-ish tracks), but it did grow on me a lot. Baby-T was my Garage theme the entire game, such a great track.

Naganuma’s music in the first game was definitely the weakest of the original’s OST (still good of course), but in Future I feel he really stepped up his game. Teknopathetic is one of my favorite songs in the new OST.

speaking of favorite music, here’s mine from each game:

Bout the City

Dragula

Magical Girl

Miller Ball Breakers

Mischievous Boy

On the Bowl (A.Fargus Mix)

Rock It On

Super Brothers

Yellow Bream

Aisle 10

Baby-T

Birthday Cake

Count Latchula

I'm Not a Model

Like It Like This Like That

Rockin' the Mic

Statement of Intent

Teknopathetic

The Scrappy

(shout outs to Girls from the one JSR CD, haven’t listened to much of the other exclusive songs to it, but Girls was good)

but yeah, my minor gripes with Future

Linear level design was a bit painful (missing a jump and not being able to backtrack a lot was bleh), and the later levels were very painful (the sewage area and the rooftops are come to mind, skyscraper to a lesser extent but I liked the skyscraper one a bit more), but at the same time, they force you to get good, which I can appreciate, so hm. Still, a checkpoint system (especially since there are save points) or unlocking shortcuts would be a bit more convenient, if not entirely necessary.

Not having a way to stop auto-grinding, even if just holding down a trigger or something- the way I latched onto rails especially in the sewage area was painful

Points challenges mainly being “find the special points rail and just spamming Y” on it was a bit odd (mainly for the Jet Techs so far, just five minutes of spamming Y...), but I like how the combos feel in this game, especially X combos to speed up. Has a rhythm that’s hard to explain but just feels natural.

Also street challenges should’ve been explained better in general, had to look up most of the special ones (and glitched out the Shibuya Terminal one many times until realizing the fix was just “hop all over each platform multiple times and hope it counts”, the second one next to the tilted platform specifically for me

Mew/Bis/Rhyth’s redesign still hurts, but you better believe she’s the character I used throughout the entire game after unlocking her

Storywise, I think I like JSR’s take better- Professor K being a neutral party and more amusing/less insulting, Onishima > Hayashi, and the character designs and artstyle I overall prefer from the first game

Felt like it tried to add things that just didn’t really work sometimes (Death Ball comes to mind, though I haven’t messed with Versus yet, the story mission was very easy compared to how they hyped it up), and the boss battles were all... strange. Tagging enemies on that roller coaster level, having to grind up to that one Hayashi boss fight over and over and over, then even moreso for the final boss... never got much use out of targeting enemies, spinning circles around them, or things like the railgrab for high jumps or skidding to slow down for graffiti, either, but maybe they have their uses.

But man, the game did feel fun to play, just frustrating to explore, I think. I still like the idea of making Skatered, even more after playing this game. Maybe I could learn modding, or something...

Oh yeah, also got all the pieces of my costume together (minus some eva foam), we’ll see how that goes. Not looking forward to assembling it, honestly, but I can’t back out now. Main regret I think is the tights, being unable to find striped ones (and the solid ones I bought being a bit too see-through, I should’ve bought a size up maybe). Still not confident enough in my makeup abilities, either.

and one last bit of light news- I finally got my Kuja figure, he’s so beautiful and detailed and I need a good place to put him

[mishmishbean]

Kingdom Hearts review

Riku is precious.

The End

[Major spoilers for this game] I kid! This game is honestly better than I remember it. I never grew up with the original KH or had any other system outside of Nintendo systems until my PS3. And I liked it, but not as much as I do now. Not because of nostalgia, but rather just the game itself. 

Starting off with the main story, I really enjoy how simplistic the plot is. You fight the Heartless with a Keyblade, eliminating darkness that’s corroding the worlds. Each world is a different Disney world, from Alice in Wonderland, Aladdin, to even Tarzan. All of them have their own stories, mostly following the plot of the movie. The stories are short and sweet, after the Keyhole is sealed there’s no going back to the world except for maybe items or drops (which I’ll get to later). Some of them are better than others for sure. Halloween Town or Agrabah are my favorites, with Tarzan’s world being the least favorite. Deep Jungle beats the infamous Atlantis for me mostly because at least there’s more going on in Atlantis storywise. Deep Jungle follows the exact same plot but more dull and text heavy. Not complaining about reading, I love to read but like it was just boring to me personally. All of them tie together in the end as the main villain, Ansem, takes over the worlds. It’s not super complex or anything like the other games that will build on this foundation. One thing I’d improve upon here would be the Disney world stories, some were good or great, while others can fall a little bit flat. Outside of a word from Goofy, there’s no point to go back to the Disney worlds. 

Speaking of characters, they’re fun to watch experiencing the story. Sora’s naiveness and optimism is charming to watch, especially with the voice of a young Haley Joel Osment. At times he sounds a bit too young since he’s supposed to be 14, but that could be said for also Riku and Kairi. Sora’s relationship between all of the characters are well done, I kinda wish there’s more to the Final Fantasy characters. Granted they were cameos but it would’ve been nice to have more depth to them. Disney characters are good, Maleficent being the queen of badass villains of this game. She’s such a ham that I like her better here a bit than the OG movie XD Plus her fight was really difficult as a dragon. It’s kind of funny going back to this game, cause at first I was meh with Riku. He was fine, until I replayed it for this completion and I fell in love with his character arc. I swear he gets the most development out of all games XD I guess I relate to him more as I get better mentally, knowing the struggle of wanting to be stronger but in the end hurting yourself. Kairi’s adorable, sounds younger than she appears but I ship her and Sora. Especially that ending uuuuuughhhh XD

I’m not a fan of admiring over graphics or gameplay. Nothing against those who do love that stuff, as long as I can play it and the story’s good I’ll play it. However, watching the opening and closing cinematics, it’s so freaking gorgeous. It just looks pretty, plus I’m happy to finally see that kind of look in KH3. As for the gameplay... it’s kind of the reason why I couldn’t stop playing until now. There’s so much to play with, the abilities, the spells, weapons, all of it changes the gameplay just enough to where you can pull off different moves, gain more Munny/HP/MP balls, different stats, or have better luck having enemies drop things. I loved just fighting the enemies after being level 70, it was a breeze but still had some challenges. I still wish that Sora’s face was still more animated in voiced cutscenes. While Devil May Cry is a different game and all, it still had more animated faces than Sora could have, especially in 3.

The fun extra stuff is where the real fun comes in. From battling the great Sephiroth, to synthesizing the Ultima Keyblade, it gets addicting after a while. I mostly went after the trophies since it gives me a fun goal to work towards, plus gives a sense of accomplishment. The boss fights were difficult, but worth the reward. Although I was pretty high leveled for Sephiroth, I still got my butt whipped by him several times. Meanwhile I yeeted ??? out of existence in one fell swoop XD. The drops in the game... are the worst aspect of this game. You have to hope that the RNG is in your favor for some of these things, even with all three Lucky Strikes and Encounter Plus. Pink Agricus mushrooms were my biggest struggle until it finally gave in after a while (even at 70 hits it gave me nothing at times). Thankfully, I didn’t need to worry about Donald or Goofy accidentally hitting it unlike the PS3 version. While I didn’t have trouble getting Defender and Wizard’s Relic this time, which I thank the Lord for that, it’s still ridiculous that it’s such a small window opening to get it. At least I didn’t need to pick up all of the Gummi Blueprints... that would’ve been a nightmare. In some way I was kind of tempted but then I remembered I could do other things like the Hades cup. 

I finished the speedster trophy plus a few others on Easy mode, which wasn’t too hard to do. Came close to doing it in a day but I’ve been staying up too late and needed to go to bed. It was a good challenge, sometimes after skipping the cutscene it was a whiplash of “what am I supposed to do now?” XD As for Proud mode, I think I’m going to save for later. I did start it, twice actually since I tried to speed through that by keeping Staff and giving up Sword. That was a mistake. I know it’s possible and all but as someone who always gave up Staff, I died a lot on the tutorial boss. So after restarting that file with giving up Shield, I got to the same place which was the Opposite Armor boss. I dunno how I keep dying outside of just low health and it’s Proud mode but somehow I do. I’m thinking of just doing a Proud mode run after everything or something, I dunno I don’t wanna do it now XD.

In conclusion, it was great to look back on a game that held up over the years. Although there was some things that could be improved upon, it doesn’t hurt the overall enjoyment of the game. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes old Disney movies, hack and slash games, or just enjoys a good story.

9/10 for me or something XD

Next game will be Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, something I never actually finished but watched NicoB play (great lets player if you don’t or can’t get the game yourself). It won’t happen right away since I’m probs going to take a break with either Xenosaga or something. Maybe just finish Avatar the Last Airbender for once XD

[usagi-zakura]

Pros and cons for Sword and Shield

Okay since I’m pretty much done with the main story now and have caught most of the Pokémon I think I can give some thoughts. SPOILERS AHOY.

Pros:

- The Pokémon. They are awesome. I honestly can’t think of one new Pokémon I outright dislike. There’s a few “meh”s in there sure, but overall they’re cute, cool and Cinderace. 

- I also gotta give some extra props to the Galar forms. There were a lot I weren’t even expecting and several of them even have alternate evolution (like Meowth and Yamask) or just new evolution altogether (like Farfetch’d and Corsola). 

- The storyline isn’t super-intrusive, demanding you to do this and that all the time before you can enter the next gym... typically if you’ve reached the gym you can just go challenge it right away. The storylines haven’t been great in general in older games and this one’s no different, so I prefer less focus. 

- You can actually catch Pokémon before you get the Pokedex. Its not right away, but you do get pokeballs from your mom after your first little excursion (even though she doesn’t tell you she’s given them to you so that’s a little weird). 

- The Wild Area...I barely know where to start with this... So much awesome!

- Once upon a time I had a wish for Pokémon that they’d release a game where you could actually see other players walking around in the overworld, kinda like an MMO. Never thought it’d happen though... but then it DID. 

- You can change a pokémon’s “nature” and even teach them egg-moves...so if you have a shiny you really want to use but its nature is shit and competitive battlers keep telling you it’s gotta have this and that move or you’re doing it wrong, well first of all tell them to shut their faces and play the game however you want, but then you can just go right ahead and give them a nature-changing candy, give them those egg moves and do some Hyper Training while you’re at it. Haven’t tried this system yet since it requires BP that I don’t have, but its there. 

- Raid battles. They’re pretty cool.

- Vitamins (like protein and carbos) can now be used more than 10 times on the same Pokémon. (Still costs a ton though...but so long as you buy the game before January you will get a pretty decent money-maker in Gigantamax Meowth.) 

- The music. It just keeps getting better I swear. I can’t stop listening to the Gym Theme. 

- I like how the Pokémon League works in this game. The gyms borrow some features from Sun and Moon by having you go through “Gym Tests”, that are basically various minigames like herding sheep or a weird pinball game. But at the end its still the same old Gym Leader Battle. The tournament is also treated more like an actual sports tournament in real life would work, all your battles (including the League itself) are done in front of an audience and you even get fans. There’s also no Elite Four anymore, instead there’s an actual tournament with your rivals and the Gym Leaders. 

- The starter that isn’t picked by you or your rival still gets a time to shine. 

- I’m not 100% sure on this but I feel like they’ve changed the gender ratio for Eevee and the Starters...cuz I got a female Scorbunny after only three tries and I caught a TON of female Eevees. (Bonus: You can also catch Eeveelutions in the wild area). 

- Speaking of Eevee they simplified its evolution. Specifically Leafeon and Glaceon, they now evolve with a Leaf Stone and Shiny Stone respectively. Sylveon also appears to evolve via friendship now so remember if you want an Umbreon or Espeon, delete its fairy moves. 

- Pokémon camps are adorable.

- The game isn’t bogged down with legendaries. In fact there’s only three. 

Cons:

- We gotta talk about the elephant in the room... 

No...not that one.  I’m talking about the lack of a national dex.  To me its not a deal-breaker, it still has 400 Pokémon in the Galar dex and there are apparently a few more that exist in the data (mostly previous starters and some legendaries) that can be transferred over from earlier generations, but... Fennekin isn’t available. That’s a shame. (Where did Leon get his Charizard from anyway...as far as I’ve seen you can’t catch Charmander in the wild...The player gets one as a gift from Leon if you were wondering.) 

- Haven’t found an IV judge yet. Could have just missed them though. If anyone knows where they are let me know.

- There’s no easy way to EV-train your Pokémon at least to my knowledge.

- When you’re in the Pokémon League you’re automatically healed between each battle. It may sound like a nitpick but part of the challenge of the League was always that you had to face each enemy WITHOUT healing...so it kinda takes away from the challenge. 

- You can only catch Pokémon up to a certain level. Again this wasn’t a big deal for me, as I usually don’t go looking for super-strong Pokémon anyway, but it felt a bit restrictive. So yes you could technically go challenge a level 30 Onix with your level 10 Sobble... but you’re not gonna be able to catch it no matter what you do.

- The Catch rate is too darn high. I don’t know what they did to it but it feels even harder to catch even the most common of Pokémon. (Despite the fact that I caught Zamazenta with the first Quick Ball.) 

- While it was nice that it didn’t focus too much on a grand storyline this time, it also meant the plot kinda just comes right out of nowhere at the end of the game, and suddenly you gotta fight a final boss you never knew existed. That’s a little awkward. 

- You gotta do WHAT to evolve Galarian Yamask?? 

- The animations in the cutscenes are a bit awkward at times... There’s a sequence where you watch Hop try to catch a Pokémon but he’s clearly not holding a Pokéball for example... you have animations where he’s throwing a ball Game Freak... 

- No more walking with Pokémon... 

- The Day and Night System is only active in the Wild Area. The rest of the game time changes based on where you are in the plot. 

- There’s no GTS. What the fuck. I know it was pretty broken already in the last gen what with people asking for a shiny Marshadow for a Rattata before Marshadow was even officially announced, but it was a pretty good way to get game-exclusives. Now I actually have to go out of my way to TALK to people to get them, and I can’t even do that in game. 

- SO yeah my next problem is that while you can SEE other trainers in the overworld there’s no way to communicate with them.. but that seems to be a problem with Nintendo in general. They are terrified of people communicating it seems... 

Despite all that though I like the game and have been playing almost non-stop the past weekend XD Heck this was the first time I just went ahead and bought both games on the release date.. and I don’t regret that decision. I played Shield normally and now I’m doing a Nuzlocke on Sword. (Case you were wondering how I’m treating the “catch only the first pokémon-rule” when you can see them, I close my eyes and run in circles till I encounter something.) I also don’t care about the trees. Pokémon models are more important than trees. 

[bryyo-data]

What if Samus had Metroid powers: design for a hypothetical game

I got this ask the other day and my answer was a bit of a ramble, but I've come back to it with a clear head. I decided to have a go at hypothetical game design, for a Metroid title set post-Fusion in which Samus Aran gains Metroid-like abilities due to her DNA changes! Some of the stuff below is rehashed from the ask reply itself.

Be warned! Bit of a long post, and I apologise in advance for mobile users for whom readmores don't always work.

Premise

I tried to stay vague with the story details because I was more interested in writing about the gameplay, but I failed at that and wrote a lot. Story has it's own section at the bottom. However, the basic idea is that Samus, now an enemy to the Federation and probably on the run, ends up on a world where the environment triggers the manifestation of strange powers. Metroids are known to adapt when introduced to new worlds, and Samus is essentially doing the same- her Metroid DNA, previously doing little more than sparing her from the X, is now active and granting her abilities.

New abilities

This isn't solid ideas so much as a brainstorm, but I tried to come up with a few ideas for what Samus might be able to do with Metroid DNA. None of it has any scientific basis but that's okay, there's dragons in this franchise.

ENERGY DRAIN: This is the first ability you learn, perhaps one you start off with. Samus starts the first area trapped, maybe after a ship crash, and is told how to shoot and jump etc. by the game. Or alternatively, maybe she doesn’t shoot. Let's say her weapon is down for now, hence being more trapped than usual, and she's stuck using a melee move to break through the surrounding rocks. While doing this, she comes across a biological barrier. But as she goes to use her melee attack, something unusual happens... The barrier turns to dust, and the health she lost during her crash-landing is replenished.

Henceforth, that melee thing becomes a drain attack. This power allows Samus to drain energy, killing a foe quickly and restoring some of her own health, but it isn't unlimited or easy to perform beyond the starting portion of the game. With mobile and aggressive enemies, it requires very precise timing to pull off. I would personally make it so that the game relies on this move much less than Samus Returns relied on the melee counter, but have it function in a similar way. Samus can still blast quickly through enemies like she could in Super Metroid/Zero Mission/Fusion, but if she wants to absorb health she can coax enemies into a specific position and with the right timing, perform a drain move.

If the move is a success, it will insta-kill a low-level enemy and is more rewarding than a standard kill. This might even replace normal energy drops from shooting, or at least would give much more health back than a standard drop. If she fails, she opens up to the enemy attack and risks taking more damage than usual. So if a skilled player is at low health and might die, they can take the risk of draining from an enemy. They may either stabilise themselves, or take double damage and die instantly.

If we don't replace normal energy drops altogether, this becomes less of a thing. In fact for the sake of health grinding and general convenience it's probably better to keep regular drops in- this would just become a fun extra which allows you to get past certain points in the game, like barriers, and can let you heal up quicker if you've learned how to pull it off without fail.

Regardless, this allows for OPTIONAL bullshitting past segments and sequence breaking; for example, you might be able to just get past a standard too-hot-without-Varia region by energy draining the whole way through.

Most bosses would have opportunities to use this if you position yourself right, but I'd personally cut down on flashy cutscenes when it happens. They're fun but I don't want to sacrifice the flow of the game for cinematics too much. Just a quick draining move, steal a bit of health. This move wouldn't work on mechanical enemies, because it relies on life energy specifically.

As you go along, this ability might power up, perhaps triggered either by the environments Samus moves into (since Metroids introduced to new environments will alter accordingly). Perhaps there are ways to power up every Metroid ability, or even an item that allows you to enhance one at a time by channelling your energies-something like that. An enhanced Energy Drain may steal more health and even fuel your weapon ammunition or something like that. Plus, it would make it easier to insta-kill some stronger enemies with the move.

I kinda like the idea of using an item to power up one Metroid ability at a time. To add a bit of challenge to the game, so you can't just switch to the most convenient one at any given time, maybe have it so that you can only change your powered-up ability in certain areas? Special Chozo statues? Interfacing with the other half of whatever this technology is, maybe a computer system found in a couple of rooms across the planet (with all except the first one or two being in hidden and slightly hard-to-find locations? Is that being too mean?)

(Btw just to get retro, we're giving this hypothetical game cheats- one of which is the ability to switch power at any time. Among others like immortality and fun suit colour changes.)

One thing I considered is that, similar to Aeion, Samus might have a power meter for using other Metroid abilities. This would give more function to the draining move outside of just health, and could explain some of Metroid biology too. It would imply that they specifically have to feed on life energy in order to do the things they do, and normal food wouldn't power them up the same. For that reason, Samus could power up her energy meter by draining. The amount of power she absorbs would be proportional to the enemy difficulty.

This could make certain segments trickier; for example, if there were a region similar to the end of Metroid 2 (not Samus Returns) where Metroids have killed off most of the life in the area, Samus would have to use her powers sparingly. The player might find it a bit trickier to traverse the area if they run out of power. Enemies here might be easy to kill and give a lot of power back on easier modes, but harder to kill and less rewarding on hard difficulty.

An alternative is that Samus's powers are fuelled directly by her own life energy, i.e. her health. This would essentially work like Phazon, but not in bursts; each time Samus activates a power, she sacrifices a bit of health, either continually or at once (again, same as how Aeion works, but depleting the health meter instead of a separate one). This makes it vital to locate energy tanks, which could prompt more exploration and may lead Samus to interesting locations that have hidden lore and such (see the section below for more on that). This might also be interesting from a lore perspective because it explains why Metroids are so aggressive as predators- they waste so much energy on simple things like flying, it means they have to near-constantly feed.

Which brings me to the other power-ups. I imagine Samus wouldn’t pick these up traditionally like items. There would still be items in the game, including several brand new ones not directly comparable to those in previous games in the series (obviously we can bring back some old favourites but copy-pasting the exact same items over and over again can get a bit dull even with new abilities). Most normal items would play to the normal Metroidvania game design, of “can’t access area -> locate pickup -> move to new area. These abilities might be triggered by moving into new environments, or if Samus is under stress i.e. during a specific boss fight. So you wouldn’t necessarily be hunting for them, but they could still let you get to new areas or items.

FLOATING: Samus floats, draining power continually until she stops or runs out. This one would require significant limitations; for example, perhaps as you move further away from the ground, you drain SIGNIFICANTLY more energy. This means you are welcome to try and sequence break, or get an item that you were meant to get with grapple beam, but you're wasting a LOT of energy doing so. Maybe gravity is still trying to pull Samus down once you lift off, so you have to actively fight it, and each ascent drains energy faster the higher you go. Sort of like a built-in jetpack. With that said, this would have interesting applications in world traversal.

An enhanced float may have a significantly lower cost for ascending or just maintaining the float. Because we all love some Aesthetic(tm), maybe Float+ gives Samus a faint wing-like aura when she uses it- especially if we go with the above idea that Samus uses Chozo tech to power it up. Imagine the sick fanart that could come out of that.

SHIELD: A fairly standard one ripped off of Samus Returns' lightning sheild. By sacrificing some energy, Samus can temporarily keep up a shield that will mean she takes less damage. If we go with the function of sacrificing health for Metroid abilities (rather than a separate power bar) it would require some careful balancing as well as player learning- for example, trying to ensure that (at least for stronger enemies) it's worth turning it on at all, and that the energy loss to create the shield is less than the theoretical energy loss if you took hits from the enemy.

Maybe this would be a pulse thing rather than an ongoing one; you activate it, and it lasts maybe 10-30 seconds, taking a defined amount of energy. During that time, you get an opportunity to pummel the enemies around you while not being knocked back or stunned when they hit (though you might still take e.g. 1/2 or 1/4 damage from incoming attacks). Of course, it could also function to protect Samus from things like lava, allowing her to access subsurface items if the game never gave her a Gravity Suit or equivalent.

A powered up version would obviously be something like a stronger shield, or a less costly one, or longer lasting if it's activated in pulses. Or a mix of them all. Maybe even a lightning shield effect where things that come into contact with Samus take damage, possibly even feeding her a bit of health (in TINY amounts, not comparable to the drain ability). Visually, so it looks as pretty as the powered-up float, it could maybe have an effect similar to the traditional big-shoulder Varia suit (assuming Samus is still in some form of the Fusion suit by this point).

SENSE/METROID VISION: I'm ripping this one off Samus Returns as well, but I'd change it. This would allow Samus to detect the life energies of all creatures in the area by focusing. It would also indicate how the larval Metroids, lacking eyes, locate their prey. Sensing would either come as a pulse like in Samus Returns, or a toggle on-toggle off ongoing thing, which you can't keep up indefinitely due to energy waste. Like in Skyrim where you can use the Aura Whisper shout or Detect Life/Undead etc.

Key differences include that this ability doesn’t show you hidden entrances by default; it would just indicate that "something is living in this wall" and you have to make judgements based on that info. Is this an enemy that will jump out and kill you (hence, you can avoid it)? Is it a hidden room with enemies in, and an entrance nearby? Thus, it keeps in a little challenge and exploration work.

A powered up version might be able to show other things too, including nearby items, entrances, or breakable blocks- like scan pulse from Samus Returns. That would make it useful for players who don't want to spend hours bombing every wall, or 100%ers like me who are at the endgame and getting frustrated because they can't find the last two missile upgrades. Obviously it's offset by the aforementioned fact that if you choose this ability, you can't choose another without going back to one of the set locations.

TELEPORT: I'm hesitant to include this one because it was fairly signature to Phazon Metroids, but I guess it could be passed off as "a hidden Metroid ability that Phazon unlocked". This would allow Samus to do short-range teleports for an energy cost. I dunno who's played Axiom Verge here, but there's an item which (spoilers if you haven't played it) lets you teleport through walls, and once upgraded it lets you go through bigger and bigger gaps. Samus's teleport would be more instantaneous than that one, and available to use from any position, but costly to perform.

The teleport could help her dodge enemy attacks (though like energy drain, success would rely on timing, and Samus might still take damage just before she teleports assuming there's a slight delay from inputting the command to actually jumping). It would also allow Samus to get through certain walls, though there may be some which are inpenetrable due to the material they're made of. I don't know how it would work in terms of control schemes, but maybe the player could choose their jump distance, with smaller jumps needing less energy.

A powered up version might be able to take Samus further or even have her emit an energy burst when she leaves/emerges from the jump, damaging nearby enemies- though with a greater energy cost.

METROID COMMAND: I can't think of a lore reason why this one would cost energy, unless it's some weird energy psychic thing that specifically resonates with Metroids. Anyway, let's assume Metroids aren't unique to the end-game Tourian-esque area in this game, and there are several locations where you can encounter them throughout the world. This ability would allow you to communicate with them, actually stopping their attacks and saving yourself or other nearby innocent creatures.

Maybe these Metroids are communicating with a "parent" who is actually an evil enemy (i.e. intelligent species that bonded parentally to them- see lore section below) which may result in more co-ordinated attacks than you see from wild roaming individual Metroids. But Samus can use this ability to stop their coordination, or even turn them on their handlers!

An upgrade of this... Maybe Samus turning the Metroids on their allies, including each other and the enemies commanding them? Keep it up long enough and you might be left with just one Metroid standing for you to take out. That could lead to some dark stuff as well. I can imagine Samus needing to be ruthless by using this ability for survival, but feeling baaaad about it.

The upgrade may also include things like asking local Metroids to affect the environment; bringing inaccessible power-ups to Samus, such as ones on high ledges (if she doesn't want to waste energy floating up there) or opening new passageways that Samus herself couldn't get open, either via draining or using brute strength, depending on the Metroid form.

SOMETHING TO DO WITH SHAPE CHANGING: This is one that, cool as it would be, would be REALLY hard to implement because I cannot think of an idea for how it would work. Especially because Samus is in the suit, and we're presuming that the suit itself can't really change shape along with her. But the basic idea is that Metroids famously mature and change, so what if someone with Metroid DNA could undergo controlled, temporary form changes? Or just change certain body parts? I'll come back to this one in the plot section but I'm not convinced Samus could use it herself, though it would be really cool, if potentially OP. Why have a Metroid Vampire when you can have a METROID WEREWOLF kinda I guess.

Just going for bullshit here, perhaps Samus could unlock this one close to the end in a Zero Mission-esque sequence where she's parted from her suit. She seems vulnerable and really has to rely on her Metroid abilities while being extremely energy-conscious, because she's no longer got extra energy tanks to keep her alive (going by the life=power method anyway; slightly less relevant in the separate-energy-bar method except for the fact that energy refills require enemy draining, and that move is much riskier without the suit, since it already increases damage if failed.)

At the end of the segment, she starts growing claws and being able to slash through thick wires or whatever un-drainable thing is in her way. Then she grows bigger and gets more hunched, scaled, and armoured, until she's starting to look like a warped variant of an Omega Metroid. Maybe even a Queen. Luckily she gets under control of it and reverts when she finds a power suit to fit into, something most Metroids can't do but luckily she's a humanoid protagonist and can't stay monstrous forever. Also gives a reason for her to replace her Fusion suit with a cooler classic Chozo suit!

(For real, would Nintendo even do that? Use their sex-sells tiddy out game section as the scene where Samus becomes the most un-fuckable monstrous body horror dragon alien in the game? Probably not but I can dream.)

Maybe the player can't really control this one, or there's a huge cost to doing so but when you do you become SICK AWESOME POWERFUL and take up half the screen and the final boss attack that should've one-shotted you just slides off your back. Maybe. Maybe I just think monster aliens are cool.

Ideally I would like to have maybe 4-5 unique abilities in the game. With drain as one and four others, it would be fairly similar to Aeion and could act as an off-SR388 Aeion replacement. The above ideas are by no means the limits of what could be done, but I can't think of any others at the moment. To work nicely with the game lore, ideally there would be some powers that Samus hasn't seen Metroids use before. Not only does she learn to use them herself, but the Metroids on this planet start using them too, making for some new and unique Metroid battles.

I would leave as much leeway as possible- there's a lot of ideas here, and while new abilities are fun to play with, I don't want it to be over-complicated or inaccessible. This is very much just a brainstorm! If this were a real game, the most important things would be letting the player have fun, feel badass, and tackle challenges their way so they can feel a sense of achievement from finding items or beating puzzles.

Plot

Okay I wasn't originally going to go into plot, but I got carried away. Because this is a sidescroller in particular, you don't have the advantage of Prime's scan system to pile on lore. I wouldn't do too much heavy plot and dialogue, at least not more than Fusion. If anything, LESS than Fusion to decrease dialogue time. But I might adopt Prime elements, specifically stealing the idea of scan downloads from Another Metroid 2 Remake. These would activate at key times, including new boss encounters, entering new regions, or when the player stumbles upon something interesting. In that regard, I'd hide secrets around the world; little rooms which may or may not contain items, but which add an optional lore entry to your logbook as you enter.

Some plot/gameplay stuff I would include:

So this post-Fusion game would probably be where you'd pick up the thread hinted at by Samus Returns' Chozo memories- there are evil Chozo, and either they still exist, or have left a dangerous legacy of bioweapons and robots. Perhaps there's only one or two commanders left alive, and they will stop at nothing to stay that way.

Adam exists, but his dialogue with Samus is limited. This is intended to create isolation, but also hope. When all feels down, you might stumble on a way to communicate with your ship and with Adam again, getting a bit of reassurance. Adam may be able to help direct you during these moments, but I wouldn't go to the same extent as Fusion itself (or Zero Mission's Chozo statues). He might not be able to point out direct target locations, at least not later in the game. Regardless, I don't want to totally sideline him in the title where, post-reveal in Fusion, his character really ought to be emerging properly.

Metroids have new, previously unforeseen abilities locked into their DNA. The planet this game is set on is a Chozo haven with a perfect atmosphere. It has been selected by the evil Chozo for Metroid breeding in order to bring out their full potential. As Samus arrives here, the environment starts affecting her DNA as well, and she begins unlocking her own hidden abilities, one by one.

She runs into evil Chozo, most of whom are hostile to her. If we permit some dialogue at designated points (otherwise implying that Adam and Samus's communications are largely disrupted, keeping the isolated feeling in place) she might confess to Adam that she feels horrible killing what might be the last of her kin. Though I wouldn't write a plot around pushing a theme, there may be an underlying theme of identity, with Samus's human vs. Chozo vs. Metroid identities coming into conflict. The conclusion of which might be "actually, who cares, I'm just Samus. And whatever Samus is, she's an awesome galactic saviour who won't ever be truly alone in the universe."

The main boss Chozo are not initially hostile- they may coax Samus in, pretending to be her ally until it becomes apparent that they want to use her as a pawn for their greater plans. Again, I'd minimize dialogue here. Instead, Samus's communications with these Chozo may be through things such as wall scrawlings or messages left on abandoned computers (readable through the logbook). When she actually meets them, the dialogue would be vague as to whether she read those lore snippets or not, but the players that did read them will have a deeper connection to these mysterious Chozo and greater understanding (though it may be a completely false one) of their motivations.

Adding to that, there may even be a good Chozo among the ranks, one whose wall scrawlings etc. are harder to find, implying they have to hide them. Maybe even taking the Axiom Verge route of having them in an untranslatable language, until Samus picks up a required cipher and can go back to her logbook and read them. But they give Samus reason not to trust the others. You may or may not ever meet the individual(s) leaving these messages, implying they have been taken care of since you arrived but before you met them.

This could actually give the players plot advantage- maybe at some point, Samus is offered a choice of direction. Evil!Chozo says "Meet me at the pool where we will perform the ritual to revive all the dead Chozo." but Good!Chozo's scrawlings said "If he tries to take you to the pool, you're gonna die and the Metroids will be unleashed again. Sneak in via the overhead pipe and drop some bombs on his machine, destroying it before he even gets a chance to start it up." (Something you could optionally do anyway, if you the player finds the pipe entrance and decides not to trust this Chozo. It gives you a bit of free reign to interpret the characterisation of Samus and what she would do.) In the latter case, it might prevent you from taking some initial surprise damage from the boss, or let you skip sections of the boss fight.

Evil Chozo are breeding Metroids, and forging parental bonds to them. This means the Metroids will defend them to the death just as the baby Metroid did for Samus, and also they have trained them to follow commands, mostly battle-related ones. Maybe they have figured out what SR388's Chozo could not- how to remain friends with Metroids after puberty. Thus allowing them to use matured Metroids. It would be lazy to include Alpha-Gamma-etc again because this isn't SR388, so I'd design new Metroid forms, which in-lore are supposed to be upgraded and more powerful according to the design of the Chozo that bred them here. They might superficially resemble Alphas etc. at first, but their developmental pathway ends up very different and unique.

The big ending twist is that the final boss Chozo is modified like yourself- you couldn't have guessed! Lore-wise, perhaps they were one of the ones who originally created the Metroids, not starting as one of the murderous Chozo seen in the Chozo memories. They knowingly turned on the other SR388 Chozo in order to side with the bad guys, and worked their way up the ranks once that trust was earned. Their Metroid DNA could then be explained by them having, like Samus, come off SR388 with an X infection that needed curing. Or maybe they just happened to be an expert in Metroids and thought it would be awesome to use Metroid DNA to get stronger.

Gameplay-wise, this means they can use powers like yours, but also a variety of others because they're a final boss. One of these might be a refined form of the shape-changing that I'm not convinced Samus could use. Metroids mature into new, bigger forms, and perhaps our villain has figured out how to do this in a controlled manner.

Remember the Chozo tech Samus might use to power up her Metroid abilities? Our villain upgraded theirs so all their abilities are powered up. But you're Samus Aran and you're still winning. In desperation, they use it to mutate into a giant monster, like some kind of weird bird-dragon-alien with hundreds of eyes and bioluminescence. Awesome! This is their final form, but it's not as brief as the mutant SA-X's appearance; maybe you defeat their normal Chozo form in the penultimate boss fight, then have to go up against this version of them at the very end.

Of course, they're still a Metroid-based monster. They have VERY potent draining abilities, which they will use more often on , so you have to use a combination of items you've picked up on your adventure, and your Metroid abilities, to prevent them from making the fatal strike, because if they hit you with that attack you're gonna lose between 1/2 to a full energy tank and they're gonna gain a chunk of health back. It's a mean boss design, but on lower difficulty settings it would be toned down.

Sequel potential

I’ll give this one it’s own section to break up the text walls a bit.

The idea behind having this SR388 traitor Chozo character in particular is that they are NOT the initial wave of evil Chozo. This means that whoever "turned them to the dark side" might STILL be out there. Thus, the plot is not over yet, and there's even more sequel opportunity to be had! It could essentially begin a new arc. I wonder how the next game's final boss could compare to "giant intelligent bird-alien-dragon-lamprey" though?

The game discussed so far might make no mention of the Federation at all, because that would overcomplicate things when the plot focus is on Samus, Chozo, and Metroids. A sequel could easily reunite Samus with the Federation, and let trust be regained on both sides as she saves them from the evil Chozo that are now trying to destroy and dominate everything for evil reasons.

Though we don’t want to sacrifice too much traditional fast-paced Metroid sidescroller gameplay time on plot stuff, maybe have a sideplot where the corrupt parts of the Federation are cut out? No doubt those who wanted to breed Metroids, no matter how pure or evil their intentions, are the most likely to accept help from a band of evil Chozo who have lots of Metroids and need help breeding and improving them. It could end up being a dialogue-heavy thing but it would be fun to see this subplot played out without any dialogue whatsoever; Samus just doing her thing behind-the-scenes to stop or expose these people, while they send threats after her.

One reason why I bring up sequel potential at all is because Samus is now part Metroid and the Federation know it- but they don’t know about her abilities. Now she’s saving their asses and they’re gonna have to learn about it. That might lead to a whole bunch of new conflict potential, which could either be explored in-canon or by fanfic writers afterward. Fun either way. May even lead to MORE sequels where the Feds are creating superhuman bioweapons because they learned it worked with Samus.

What happens with Samus's powers between the two games? Will she go into the next game being super OP? Probably not. So how will that be resolved? Theoretically this first game in the “arc” could be the only one, and could actually end the timeline, but it would be a bit of a shame to do that.

One possibility is that Samus has to suppress or lose her powers. Maybe they start getting out of hand, beyond her control, especially if the shape-changing thing comes into play. She may use a reverse form of the power-up technology to tone down her abilities to nothing for safety reasons. She may even use the final-boss-guy's DNA modification equipment to strip herself of her Metroid DNA. Perhaps she decides that it's not something she wants to be a part of herself any more, and takes it out.

Here's a fun tangent off the last one- what if the DNA mod goes wrong and she does something else... Like damage her Chozo DNA? What implications might that have for a future game, and for Samus's own perception of herself? What if we were left on a cliffhanger, where Samus knows she has to rush off to her next battle with the evil Chozo but when she steps into her own suit, her own second skin, it rejects her?

As an alternative, maybe something off-world- or even just the act of BEING off-world- means she loses her abilities because her body "settles down" and suppresses them outside of that world's environment. While this may seem like a cheap ending, it depends on how sequels go. Because in theory, Metroids adapt to their local environments, which means Samus might be able to unlock a plethora of brand-new and previously unseen abilities in the next game owing to her arrival in another new environment.

Conclusion? I have too much time on my hands. It's been an interesting one to think about. Aside from "Chozo will return as villains" I couldn't really speculate what will happen in Metroid 5 at this point, though I'm very tempted to say it will be made eventually. Unfortunately, word-of-god says that Metroid Fusion's ending rectified Samus's DNA and took out the Metroid stuff (hence her losing cold weakness at the very end) so it's unlikely that any of this kind of thing would make it to canon, unless they're happy for to retcon what was already a fairly unclear thing in game.