#i almost forgot what day it is.... ty for reminding me

[transsexualism-archive]

STEVE BUSCEMI THURSDAYYYYYY!!!! :)

happy steve thursday !!!!!!

[mezzy-1]

VALORANT MEETING + DATE HEADCANONS

Hope you enjoy!

SOVA 

He was finishing recon in a snowy forest late at night and was done for the day.  He outstretched his arm and sent out the Owl Drone

So far, you had been hiking for about 8 hours through frigid woods and gotten lost about 2 hours earlier.  You were trying to make camp for the night but failing to start a fire

You caught a glimpse of Sova’s drone and followed it back to the man, who immediately regarded you with some suspicion but could see you were of his dimension 

Deciding to keep an eye on you, he led you back to his campsite and helped you set up your tent next to his

He was kind, and he quietly offered you a seat next to him by the fire.  Both of you sat awkwardly at first, not quite sure how to handle the silence

“Do you do archery out here?  I noticed the bow and wanted to ask…” you trailed off as he looked at you 

He removed the bow and two arrows from his sling.  “Would you like a look at them?”  You moved closer and inspected them.  The technology was intricate but your eyes wandered over to the man sitting close to you

“What brings you out here?”

“I wanted to do the Blue Lakes trail but I got lost a while back.  I was planning on stargazing at the top but…” you gestured to your compass, “I got lost”

“I leave here tomorrow, and I can show you to the trail if you would like.”  Sova offered

You accepted his offer and both of you went to your tents for the night

Humiliatingly, the trail back was marked but Sova didn’t seem to care that you got lost so easily.  The two of you just chatted about the surroundings while traveling onward

At the trailhead, you had to part ways.  But it didn’t have to be the end, and you made a fast decision and asked to see him again

“I’d love to!  What did you have in mind?”

Sova Date

At the trailhead, you finished tying your boots before a familiar voice called out

“Hello y/n!  Should we start walking?”  Sova had dressed in pants and a blue flannel jacket

Both of you continued up to a clearing in the forest, just as the sun was begging to set

You laid out a large blanket from your pack and set it down.  Sova took out a pair of bags and bottles of water

You hadn’t expected him to bring home cooked food, but you weren’t complaining either

Sova and you made yourselves comfortable, and ate while you waited for the evening to turn to night

Conversing with him was always peaceful.  He listened deeply and always responded with optimism or curiosity

The North Star was the first to appear, followed by a few faint constellations

Within an hour, the sky was overrun with stars.  Each point of light layered on another creating a portrait of the galaxy

Sova and you took turns pointing out constellations, each time trying to remember what each star was named 

Both of you relied on the book of astronomy you brought along to figure out what was in the sky

Sova had an understanding of stars to navigate, and would name stars in Russian or translate what he could

Although you and him were occupied with stargazing, you started to succumb to the cold of the night

“Y/N, are you cold?”

“No, it’s nothing you need to-”

Sova took his jacket off and place it on you.  The lining inside was warm from Sova’s body heat

“Are you still cold?  Come here, and stay close to me.”  Sova gestured for you to join his side

For the rest of the night, you and him stayed in almost constant contact until you both decided to head back

You followed behind Sova, his sense of direction and torch lit the way.  Despite being deep in the wilderness, you felt safe in his presence

When you arrived at the trailhead, Sova said his goodbyes.  He made sure you would arrive home safely before leaving.  His jacket was still on you

“Sova, you forgot this.” you held his jacket out to him.  

“Keep it Y/N, I want you to have it for the next outing.  I hope it brings you much warmth and comfort while I am away.”

“Here’s something to remind you of me.” you gave Sova a kiss

He was a blushing mess, and held you close before departing back to the Valorant HQ

While you traveled back to your home, you ran your fingers over the soft material of Sova’s jacket.  It smelled faintly of him

DEADLOCK

You were in LA when the Landfall facility erupted and you were caught in the crossfire of Omega and Alpha variants.  A single Shock Arrow went off course and hit you with enough voltage to knock you out

Once you came to, Deadlock had finished performing CPR on you, including mouth to mouth. 

When you came to, your face was covered in blonde locks of hair, gazing into eyes with intense blue irises, and her body pressed against yours

Iselin was red in the face, and so were you.  Perhaps for the same reason…

Other agents were finishing off the Omega team, Iselin didn’t really have anything else to worry about other than stabilizing you

“Can you tell me your name?” she asked, hoping to establish if you were coherent

You replied perfectly, and set her at ease.  Then you had an idea, and asked for her name

“Deadlo- Iselin, my name is Iselin” she responded

Because you managed to get at least a name, you pressed your luck and asked more about her

“That will have to wait, we’re taking you a hospital to make sure you weren’t injured in any other way”

Sage gave you a check up and confirmed you were fine, then hooked up a heart monitor before leaving to inspect other agents

Iselin walked over to see how you were doing, then sat next to your cot.  It was another chance to get to see her and you tried to converse politely with her

As you chatted she kept looking over your shoulder to something, all while still remaining invested in your conversation

“Do I make you nervous?” She asked softly

“What!  No!  Why would you think that?” you quickly answered back

“It’s just that the monitor says you have an elevated heart rate.”

Looking behind you, the screen did show you that weren’t as relaxed 

“Oh!” you exclaimed, “It’s just that, I find you kind of… attractive”

The machine was beeping rapidly now, but not detracting from the silence that swallowed the moment between you and Iselin.  She spoke first

“Would you like to spend some time together then?”  she was blushing as much as you 

As you walked out of the clinic, you made plans to see her again

Deadlock Date

You and Iselin decided to meet at a Valorant safehouse that Cypher had once used.  He promised he removed all the cameras

She had prepared some ingredients for dinner you could cook together.  Cooking was something she did with her old team

Because you were in LA still, she managed to find fresh salmon at a market and decided to cook it

She gutted it in front of you, and taught you how to debone, clean and prepare the fish.  Her skill with the knife was amazing, if not intimidating

You asked a for some help and she took your hand, showing you the right way to cut

The rest of the preparation was easier, requiring less input.  It was during this that you talked to Iselin 

For her, it was refreshing to find someone who didn’t know about her past, the trauma she’d endured, and could let in gradually

You came to understand that she was ex-military but nothing official.  Her main expertise was in tracking and scouting, which you decided to test

You’d ask about urban legends or survival stories and she’d debunk them or let in on a fact about hunting

The incredulous reactions you had managed to coax a smile out of her

As dinner began, you both started sharing more personal stories and began to get more well-acquainted with the other’s background

Iselin bristled when you asked why she was with Valorant, and she decided to say as much as she could stomach

“I had something happen to me and they were there for me.”  Her eyes darted to her prosthetic arm

There was a moment of silence, tension rose 

“I’m glad they were there for you, if they weren’t I don’t think I would have met you.” 

The words touched Iselin deeply, and she could only utter out a phrase

“Tusen takk.” she smiled up at you 

As you finished your dinner you both had easier conversations about personal tastes.  It was here you found that Iselin enjoyed hiking 

“Would you like to go hiking with me?” you asked tentatively

Iselin’s face lit up and she quickly responded with “Ja takk!”

Sadly she had to leave soon and you both exited the safehouse.  Iselin turned to you as you closed the door 

“Y/N, thank you.  It hasn’t been easy to let people get close but you’ve helped me relax a bit.  I won’t forget you y/n.” 

You got the sense Iselin was signaling something, and you leaned in.  She kissed you and held you close, then cautiously let go

She left you the same way she found you: breathless

ISO 

Your day at work had come to an end, and you stepped off of your bus preparing to walk the rest of the way home

Iso’s had already began, as he was chasing down a member of his past corporation.  He had finished off their friends, now it was time to end them

His target had managed to jump out of the window to avoid capture, but Iso didn’t let up even as their chase took them onto the street

A small commotion occurred as Iso’s prey shoved you to put distance between his assassin 

As they ran past you, one of Iso’s headphones fell out 

Right in front of you as he ran into an alley from your sight

What else were you to do?  Of course you had to return it to him (not because you wanted to get a better look at him)

You began to head towards the alley to see if you could catch Iso in time.  Meanwhile Iso put his abilities into practice

Iso’s target fell right into the Kill Contract, and the assassin stepped into the space disappearing into the Interverse

Of course you didn’t see anything, just a few strange purple particles floating through the air nearby

By the time he stepped out of his Kill Contract he ran right into you and you both fell over

Iso was bewildered and worried a civilian had discovered his secret  

He and you caught a glimpse of each other and stopped struggling

Sheepishly, you handed him back his headphone and he took it back while being careful to hide the pistol he had in his coat

After helping you to your feet, you asked him what he was listening to and his reply of 99 God was a welcome surprise

“Wait, do you like his music too?” you asked

“Of course, I’ve been to some of his shows too.  I have playlists full of him.” 

You just happened to have 2 tickets to a concert of his, and seizing on the opportunity you asked if he would be interested

It was a yes

Iso Date

At the concert, you met Iso at the front before walking in together.  The ticket staff asked if you were a couple while scanning your passes

Iso blushed immediately and you felt your soul vacate your body

“Ye- maybe?”  “Well it wouldn’t be that, b-” “Uh I think so?”

You both hurried in to the concert and got over the shock

“That was kind of awkward right?  Who even asks that kind of question?”  Iso broke the tension

“I don’t understand people sometimes.” you replied

Eventually that faded into background as the music started, it was a something else to focus on

You and Iso joined the crowd in excitement, dancing and singing to the music that leapt from the speakers

The opening set was absolutely worth the ticket cost

“THIS IS AMAZING!” you cried out.  Iso agreed emphatically

Lost in the moment, you watched Iso feeling the rhythm as purple lights from a nearby projector shown on the crowd

You gazed at him in awe as violet lasers ran over both of your faces, he stared back with equal entrancement

Deciding to embrace the moment, you both stole a quick kiss when smoke machines shrouded the crowd and the show ended

On your way out, Iso and you both talked about your favorite songs, the performance, and the special effects

“This was a great night y/n, we should do something like this again.”

Barely holding back your excitement, you kissed him again before heading home

Iso walked back home listening to a track titled “Songs for Y/N”  

Being a hitman was a lonely job, and even since he had joined Valorant he still lacked closeness.  Luckily, he had found you

GEKKO 

Thrash had gotten away from him while he was out running a few errands, and he was worrying at this point

He heard the sound of the creature knocking over cans and moving around the isles.  He dashed over to see her pouncing from a shelf into a cart

Your cart

She didn’t revert to a globule, but instead curled up into the cart along with your groceries.  Gekko was beyond panicked at this point

You cautiously reached down and tapped on the critter, and when it nuzzled your hand you started to pet it

Gekko was astounded by Thrash getting along with someone, and stood there in awe as you picked her up and continued to scratch her belly

You noticed him staring at you with his jaw hanging open

“Uh, is this yours?” you asked while handing Thrash over to him.  She flew into Gekko’s satchel excitedly

“Uh, yeah, thanks for catching her.  I never see her get along with other people so it’s kind of weird to see her like this.  The rest of my crew is a lot more chill.” 

“The rest of your crew?” you asked.  Gekko realized he said too much at that point

“Well I’m not supposed to talk about it but…a no la importa ahorita.”  he summoned Wingman and placed him in your hands

You saw your chance and took it

“I’d love to get to them and you too if you wanted to do something some time.”

Gekko went red, then smiled 

“Meet me tomorrow evening at the Kingdom train depot, past the security fence.”

It was a date, one you were eager for but slightly worried about

Gekko Date

Following Gekko’s instructions was easy enough, getting into the trainyard was easy but the fear of being caught was palpable

It was kind of a rush though, sneaking by all of the cameras and guards.  You knelt down behind some crates and let out a sigh

A finger tapped on your shoulder and you twisted around in fear

“Oye, calma!” Gekko whispered.  “It’s me, you can chill.”  He smiled at you and gestured to a bag you carried

It was filled with spray paints of different colors rattled around inside.  Gekko walked you over to a train car he had already covered in stencils

He grabbed 2 cans gleefully and shook them together.  He tossed the other to you and grinned.  “Lista?  Let’s do this.”

You both got to work, assisted by Wingman to keep watch and hand paint cans.  Deep blues and electric greens covered the car at first, followed by pastel violets.  

Cans of paint traded hands, fingers brushing near but never touching.  Until Gekko looked up at the top stencil and had an idea

He hoisted you up on his shoulders and had you paint it.  Wobbling back and forth, you sprayed the last parts of the design before he cautiously let you down

“Ok, I want you to close your eyes alright?” Gekko pleaded. “Wait up, okay 3. 2. 1”

Your eyes opened and saw the beauty you and him created together

It was a scene of a jungle at night, navy blue foliage covering up most of it while neon green fireflies dotted the mural.  In the middle was a prowling jaguar with a cub between its front legs

“It’s beautiful…” you whispered

“you are too” whispered Gekko.  Wingman abruptly pushed you both together and you met each other’s gaze

Both of you kissed each other quickly before blushing and quickly breaking down into embarrassed apologies

“You, I.  We should, do this more right?”

“Yeah, por supuesto”

Wingman lived up to his name that night

CHAMBER 

You’d met at after a charity dinner hosted by Kingdom, and it was the most boring thing you’d ever attended

It was a show of corporate goodwill but mainly to placate the public.  The only reason you showed up is because the donations went straight to your city

Plus free wine, which you had taken and were drinking on a balcony that gave you some space from everyone else

“Fait froid non?”

You turned to see a tall man dressed in a fine suit and prismatic tie, his hand extended in greeting

“Vincent Fabron, enchante”

He took your hand, refraining from kissing it and instead shooting you a flirtatious grin

He made small talk with you about the event, and brought up that he had been with Kingdom as a guest.  Both of you started talking about each other's lives

Fabron asked if you had a partner

You blushed a bit and replied “no,” to which he responded “Tres bien, then would you be free for dinner sometime this week?”

You were taken aback by how forward he was, but then again he was a gentleman and quite handsome

A digital chime broke the silence and Fabron checked his wristwatch.  An alert was going off, accompanied by some V-shaped sign

“I look forward to meeting you once more,” he gestured to his watch, “but I am afraid I have some responsibilities to tend to.  Au revoir”

He waved at you as he went back inside and disappeared

In your hands was the card, which had the address of a high end restaurant and a time written on it.  The other side was the business card of Vincent ‘Chamber’ Fabron

Chamber Date

Dressed in your finest clothing, you waited outside of the restaurant building but were unsure where Chamber was

You pulled out the card to see if you had made a mistake and noticed a colorful glow coming from it

In a flash of radiant energy you were teleported, right into a private room with Vincent waiting

“Bonne nuit, I hope the teleportation was comfortable.  Let me get your seat.”  

Vincent had finished lighting candles, setting plates, and took your coat before seating you across from him

You sat down to a prepared dinner of salad, coq au vin, and fresh bread

Vincent pressed something on his watch, then teleported a bottle of red wine to his hand and opened it.  He poured your glass and sat down as he poured his own 

He began asking more about your life, interests, and even a few intimate questions

You naturally responded with your own questions, learning about his time at Kingdom and even a little about his time with Valorant

He asked about your life some more, not forgetting any of the details you told him the first time you met

By the time you both had finished the wine, it felt as if you knew the other as lifelong partners.  Vincent was listening to you explain something, but you became nervous

“Am I boring you?  I didn’t mean to-”

“I assure you, nothing you do could ever be boring.  There’s nobody more invested in you than me, Y/N.”

You were taken aback, and felt a spark of something.  On an impulse you leaned in 

Chambers' lips met yours and both of you kissed, he had found a private room so the moment you both shared was only yours to know

When you finished, Vincent sat back confidently with a somewhat knowing, if not smug, look on his face

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that all night” 

FADE 

Istanbul is a lively city, so the few places that offered a bit of peace were an oasis.  One such oasis was a bookstore in Kadikoy

You had paged through books but hadn’t really found anything that piqued your interest yet.  The saturation of supernatural romances and dystopian teen novels wasn’t helping

A woman with dark hair was also reading through another book, but unlike you was invested.  She sat at a table with a glass of warm tea

Her hands obscured the title, but you wanted to know if it was worth reading

Not like you had other reasons

“Uhh hi, what are you reading?”

You came face to face with mismatched eyes and a curious stare

“Dune,” she moved her hand to let you see the cover, “I’ve had it recommended to me by friends.  It’s quite good.”

You instinctively replied, “I know right, especially when Paul-” you cut yourself off before spoiling the book

Fade wasn’t normally in a mood to talk with strangers, but something about you was different to her

Normally she could feel fear emanate from people near her, however she didn’t get any sense you held fear

Of course this intrigued her

“Do you come to this store often?  I come here often but I haven’t seen you here before.”

You told her you were visiting for the first time but often went to another store that closed

“So you read often, what genre is your favorite?” she had set down her book

“I prefer science fiction, but I’ll read anything with good characters.” you replied. “What do you prefer?”

“The same, although I’ll read anything when I have the chance.” she took a sip from her glass

Just as she finished, one of Istanbul’s many cats entered the store.  A calico covered in large orange spots and one giant black spot across its back

It came up to you and began rubbing against your legs.  Then it came over to Fade and did the same

“She seems to like you,” you mentioned before Fade took the calico and fed it something from her bag.  She held it in her lap as it chewed on whatever it was eating

“Come, she is friendly.”  Fade invited you next to her.  Obliging, you sat down and started petting the cat

“What is your name?”

“Hazal”

“And you are?”

“Y/N,” you took your chance, “Would you want to get khave some time and talk a bit more?”

“Evet, that sounds lovely”

Fade Date

The neighborhood of Moda provided the perfect place to reacquaint yourself with Hazal

Naturally as you were on your way over, Hazal found you first.  The woman is a bounty hunter after all

“Merhaba!” Hazal surprised you and led you into a small cafe.  There were only a few other customers, leaving you and her mostly alone

She ordered khave, and you ordered the same.  The Turkish coffee brought to you was the first you ever had

It was like drinking coffee grounds and pure caffeine in a cup.  It was an acquired taste but very easy to acquire

Hazal and you talked about books you had read recently.  You compared some of the adaptations you both saw in theaters, agreeing mostly that the books were better

The conversation moved to life, and you asked about what Hazal did.  She mentioned that she did ‘private investigation’ but now works with a private security organization

It was a secretive topic, but you were fine with her answer.  It was more important to focus on the future

“Y/N, have you ever had your fortune read?” Hazal asked

“Not really, do you know how to tell the future?” you replied, you were curious at this point

Hazal pointed to your empty cup

You passed it over to her and she looked it over.  She searched it over and then set it in the middle of the table

“I see in your future…a deep unrest and sudden death.”  She turned up to you with a dire look in her eyes

“I’m going to die?” you asked.  Hazal’s facade broke and she laughed a bit

“Hayir, relax, it is only a joke.  In fact you’ll like the reading better now.”

You calmed a bit, and laughed a bit at how she managed to mess with you

“It seems like you’re going to go through some change, brought on by things beyond your control.”  she paused to look over the coffee cup, “But something will bring you great solace during this.”

“I wish I knew what that something was.  Do you see anything else about it?” you asked  

“Well I have one theory,” Hazal pointed to herself, “It could be someone, not something.”

You decided to flirt a bit more, “And who could that be?” 

“Someone close, someone mysterious maybe?  They could even be right here.”

“I’d bet they’d even go for a kiss if given the chance,” you caught Hazal leaning in as you said it

You shared a kiss with her, the first of many 

VIPER

She rarely ventured outside of her lab and between running Valorant and missions, she had to keep her time off brief and tended to try keep a low profile

Her time outside of the HQ was generally spent visiting parts of the world and visiting art museums

Viper had a particular love of the arts, and museums were often silent so there was little interference from other people 

Except for you

She was observing Goya’s Black Paintings, specifically Saturn Devouring His Son.  It’s savagery was overwhelming and therefore intrigued her

You sat down on a bench to observe it as well, and maybe the other person in here with you.  The grotesque painting was enthralling, if not disturbing to think about

Then she sat down next to you, and you tried to keep your eyes on the painting.  It was impossible not to dart your eyes over to her

“Why do you keep looking at me?” Viper spoke in a bitter tone

Thinking as fast as you could you explained that you weren’t looking at her per say, rather just the…painting behind her.  You were looking over at Duelo a Garrotazos

She raised an eyebrow and sighed, “That’s an awful lie.”

To prove your innocence you went into detail about what you knew about the painting:  History, interpretation, value, and origin.  

Sabine’s suspicion turned to interest

“You know art quite well, is it a passion of yours or a profession?”

“Just a passion, and I wasn’t trying to stare at you.”

“I’m not as concerned with that anymore, what I am curious about is what brings you here.”

“Just wanted to look at the collection.  By the way, I never got your name.”

“Sabine, and yours is?”

“Y/N”

“Have you ever painted before Y/N?  Or are you mostly a critic?”  Sabine’s intense green eyes studied your reaction

“Only a little bit, but I enjoy it when I have the chance.”

“Would you be interested in joining me at a studio sometime this week?  I rented a space.”

Caught off guard, you quickly asked if she was trying to ask you out.  She was less interrogative now, and being genuine in her offer

“I would love to.” you answered. 

An alert from Sabine’s phone broke the moment.  Her face contorted into exasperation, and she quickly texted something back.

“It appears I have something to attend to Y/N.  We should discuss this later.”

Sabine handed you a page from a pocket book with her number, and after she took one last look at the gallery, left the museum

As she left, you heard her mutter something about her lab and ‘Phoenix,’ whatever that meant

Her leaving was a bit abrupt, but you would be seeing her again and you could hardly wait

Viper Date

Viper didn’t tell anyone about your date except for Brimstone

In her space she had assembled what she could for a still life: a few beakers and a collection of poisonous flowers like Oleandar, Belladonna, and Hemlock

Her arrangement was of flowers sticking out of scientific glasses.  It wasn’t the most ornate but it did offer plenty to paint

Knocking several times, you waited outside for Sabine to let you in.  She greeted you with a softer tone than at the museum

You began assembling your palette with Sabine.  You went for realistic colors, she went for darker variants

Each of you took a couple of brushes, dipped them in a glob of paint, and began your still-lifes

As you painted, you started discussing what each of you did for work, then chatted about art and world events

Both of you blamed Kingdom for much of the world’s current issues, and Sabine shared stories from when she worked for them 

Some of them were definitely a little worrying, considering she had not only slightly poisoned coworkers but avoided being fired in doing so

Her understanding of chemistry was incredible to listen too, she had a clear passion for it

“Why do you like working with poison so much?”

“I’m good at it, there’s not much more to it,” she paused, assessing her answer, 

“But I guess I enjoy what they mean to us.  We fear them because we don’t understand them, but once we do they control life and death.  I like that, the power they give to those willing to take it.”

“So you think of what you do as a way to help people, but using something that people don’t trust.”

“I suppose so.”

“Do you ever feel alone then?”  Sabine paused mid brushstroke, “It must be difficult having interests people are afraid of.”

“It can be Y/N, but I’ve found it isn’t as bad anymore.  Poisons have their place in my life, people are earning theirs.”  She went back to her palette

You added in more pastels to make the flowers stand out against the background

Once you were done, you shared the results with one another.  Yours was more bright, and had heavier detail.  Sabine’s was more abstract, focusing on brush strokes and tone

At the end, you both exchanged the paintings as a parting gift

Sabine cautiously asked if you would like to have dinner some time.  She picked at one of her nails waiting for a response

“Of course!” you replied.  Then leaned in and gave a Sabine a quick peck on the cheek

She could hardly get a word out

You and her left the studio planning on dinner and more art nights in the future.  You had settled on portraits next

Sabine later thought about asking you pose nude for a portrait but dismissed the thought

CYPHER

Normally, you tried to stay away from explosions, gunfire, and energy blasts.  While slipping away you were caught in a leftover trip wire you didn’t see

The wire had tangled your legs, and forced you on the ground 

You were frantically struggling against the wires when you heard footsteps 

“Well, well, it appears a fly has gotten caught in my web.  Let’s see who it is.” a voice coldly whispered 

A man in a white coat and hat stepped from behind the corner with a gun drawn.  His eyes were hidden by a dark mask, mechanical blue eyes took their place.  Unfeeling

At least until he saw you.  Despite the mask you saw the shock take hold immediately

“Oh, apologies,” he reached his hand out and retrieved the wire, “I wasn’t expecting others to get caught”

The initial fear you had turned to confusion

“Who are you?” you asked

“I prefer people I don’t know to call me Cypher.  Allow me to lead you out of here.”

His offer seemed genuine and you didn’t have any other choice but to follow him into a hidden room where he sat you down

“I didn’t mean to catch you, I hope it was not uncomfortable.”  he sounded regretful, and seemed to truly care about you

“Here,” he handed you your phone, “you dropped this while you were struggling.”

As you checked your phone over, you noticed the screen was glitching out.  It was randomly receiving and exporting data

Your savior/captor was entering something into a desktop set up in the room.  He was typing up something while you scrutinized your phone

Cypher turned back to you, and you caught a glance of a computer screen.  It read: SECURED DATA

“So, Y/N.  What brought you out here?  I know you aren’t a threat, but I’m still going to make sure you don’t reveal anything to someone else.”

“How did you know my name?” Cypher pointed at your glitching phone.  “You hacked my phone?”

“No, I bugged it.  Check the back, I planted it there when I handed it to you.  I wanted to make sure you weren’t spying.”

A small silver disc clung to the back of your phone.  You struggled to pull it off, so Cypher offered to help

“You don’t need to worry about me holding onto any of your secrets, I cleared the data once I was done.”

“Do you always hack people's phones when you meet them?”

“Yes.”  Cypher’s answer was completely serious, not a hint of sarcasm

You asked more questions, getting a better idea of who this mysterious man was.  It was difficult to get clear answers

“Y/N, I trade secrets for a living.  Give me something and I’ll give you something.”

You thought intensely, then it hit you

“I’ll tell you anything about me you want, but on one condition.”

Cypher’s interest piqued.  He leaned in to meet your gaze

“If you take me somewhere that means something to you, you can interrogate me as much as you want.”

His mask stretched in brief surprise, then slyly relaxed as he sat back in his seat.  He clasped his hands together

“You surprised me with that Y/N.  It’s hard to surprise me, so I’ll take you up on your little interrogation.”

Cypher Date

Cypher’s coordinates and description were slightly difficult to follow, but regardless you managed to get there on time

You asked for the second floor room in the tea shop, and were led up some stairs into a room with cushions, drawn shades, and hanging lamps

The entire room was bathed in dim colorful light and smelled faintly of mint

Next to the table was Cypher, his mask undone but eyes covered with glasses

“Ah, Y/N!  Have a seat, the tea was just brought up.” he gestured to a silver tea pot

You placed yourself across from him and watched as he poured a cup of tea, taking care to stretch his arm upwards to let the tea cool as it fell

He passed the cup to you and motioned for you to drink.  You took a small sip from the steaming broth

It was the best thing you had ever tasted.  It was sweet like honey but had a distinct taste of mint.  Moroccan tea was your new favorite drink to say the least

Cypher enjoyed it with you

“So, even though I may have researched you for security I sadly didn’t get to know you that well.  Tell me more about you.”

You told him about what you did for work, and the places you had traveled to.  Cypher probably knew about it but was still invested

He had his fair share of stories too.  A life of information brokering and spying left him with some incredible tales

His ability to make you hang on every word was unlike anything you had heard before.  The man was a natural storyteller, and invested you quickly

By the time you and Cypher had finished most of the tea, it was getting late and you were beginning to learn more about Cypher’s personal life

“Can I trust you with something Y/N?” Cypher removed his glasses to look at you clearly.  His eyes were a deep shade of mahogany

“Sure, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

“My name, my real name, is Amir.  People who are close to me know it, I believe you should know who I am too.”

“Amir,” you said while getting closer, “that’s a beautiful name.  I’m glad you trust me with it.”  

Amir and you said your goodbyes outside of the tea shop, using his alias of course

“Cypher, before you leave again I wanted to thank you for saving me.”

“It was no-”

You kissed him while you had the chance.  You did want to thank him after all

Amir was more than receptive to it, and you eventually had to break it off.  Glasses hid his eyes, but not his excitement

You had captured him this time

YORU

You heard the sound of something falling over and metallic components spilling everywhere

Readying a baseball bat, you flung the door open and prepared to swing 

Instead of a thief or even an animal, you were face to face with an oni.  Spectral blue energy spilled from the out from the portal it was clawing its way out of

Its bright blue eyes glowed with power, and it stepped through the portal towards you 

In your panic you swung and hit him in the ribs

“KUSO!  THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!”

On closer inspection, the ‘oni’ from before was a man in a bike jacket and wearing a mask.  It didn’t change the fact he was in your garage

“Who are you and why are you in my garage?”  You readied another swing

“Yoru, and I just teleported here because I was making an escape.  I didn’t think anyone was home.”

After a few seconds, Yoru tried to get back up but stumbled.  A red stain on his shirt gave away why

“Did you get shot?”

“What of it?  You hit me with a bat so I don’t get why you give a shit.”

You realized that not only was Yoru wounded, he was also unarmed too.  He had nothing aside from the mask he wore

“Stay here, I’m gonna get you some bandages and gauze.”

“I don’t need that.  I’ll manage without you, plus I don’t think you know what you’re doing.  No offense but I’m not gonna take help from-”

Yoru winced as you applied rubbing alcohol to the wound.  He inhaled sharply as you cleaned the bullet hole and applied aid

Once you had patched him up, he sat in the garage across from you

“So what’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Do you always beat your patients before helping them out?  Or are you that bad at first aid?”

“You wear that mask because you got a messed up face?” you weren’t about to take insults from Yoru after you saved him

He removed the mask, and to your shock he was quite good looking.  He continued to scowl at you between sarcastic comments

He noticed the motorcycle in the garage, and gestured to it

“Oi Y/N.  That yours?”

“Yes, why are you asking?”

“I ride too,” Yoru adjusted his bandage before standing up, “looks like yours has got a bit damage.”

It was true, the motorcycle needed repairs and it was a chore to look up videos and learn to fix it.  It was good to learn, but time consuming

“I could look it over,” Yoru smirked at you, “but I’m not feeling so grateful right now.”

“Then you can come back later as thanks for me patching that hole in your stomach.  Sound good?”

Yoru was surprised at the offer, and despite his outward personality did retain a sense of politeness from his time as a yakuza

“I could come by again.   If I teleport in, you better not lose your mind again and hit me.  That pissed me off last time.”

“I’ll get it out if you forget to come by.”

“You’ve got a deal, Y/N.”

Yoru Date

Yoru teleported into the garage later than when he said he would.  A blue flash alerted you to his arrival

He went over to your toolbox, taking wrenches out and checking the sizes of bolts.  He also removed his jacket, placing it nearby

“Start it up, I wanna hear the engine.”  Yoru tossed you the keys.  The sputtering of the engine was not a great sign

“It’s the carburetor,” Yoru was absolutely certain in his voice

You and him got to work taking apart the bike and getting into the engine.  It was an older model of motorcycle, but Yoru seemed to know exactly what to take apart

Both of you finally got to the engine, and removed part of the engine block to get to the carburetor

“We need to replace it.  Give me a second, don’t touch anything else.”  Yoru disappeared into a portal

In the minute he was gone, the engine began to ooze black fluid.  You rolled your sleeves up and started to remove the engine block to keep it from leaking more

Yoru stepped back, holding a replacement carburetor

“What are you doing?”  

“The engine is leaking oil, I took it out so nothing else gets oil on it.”  

He got down to look at engine you removed, his disapproval turning to satisfaction.  He picked up a wrench and handed it to you

“Take the rest of it apart, we’re fixing the whole block.  After that, we’re gonna do everything else.”

After a few hours, the bike engine, tires, and suspension were replaced with new versions.  Yoru even stole some paint and redid the color on the bike

He got on the bike and started it.  A smooth growl came from the new engine

“Hop on, Y/N.  You and I are gonna make sure nothing’s wrong with the bike.” you both grabbed helmets

You got behind Yoru and held yourself close to his back.  Your hands were firmly around his torso

He revved the engine and peeled out of the garage.  Yoru sped towards the highway and weaved between cars

Street lights and vehicles blurred around you as the motorcycle rushed past them all.  Yoru’s driving was precise, but he was pushing the engine to the limit any chance he got

Cold wind forced you to hold Yoru tighter for warmth.  Even through the jacket, he kept you from freezing

Yoru’s driving had attracted some police cars, to which Yoru decided to let chase him.  He began the chase by popping a wheelie and tearing ahead

The cruisers tried to keep pace with him, but couldn’t match his speed.  Yoru flipped them off as he escaped

Suddenly a blockade appeared on your horizon.  Yoru seemed to smile through his helmet.  “Keep holding on.” he commanded

He drifted the bike into the blockade as he activated his mask.  You and him rode the bike into the rift

Your escape led you right into the garage, where Yoru skidded to a halt.  He hopped off the bike and smirked at you

“So, how do you like my driving Y/N?”

“That was insane.  I loved it!”

“You’ll like this too then.”

Yoru grabbed you and kissed you.  It lasted for a second but the moment seemed longer than that

When the initial shock wore off, you turned to a slightly blushing Yoru

“We should go for a joyride more often.” you muttered with what little sense you had

[jazeswhbhaven]

I was curious so I looked at the prologue (yah I know whatever side-eye me but anyway)

*spoilers ahead*

I'm going to talk about this in bullet points because this is more like a curiosity read instead of a "I'm going to invest in this" read.

Levi Childish Jealously Overall Thoughts:

First, now I get why they said "chlidren's day" It is because MC was talking about Minhyeok and them hanging out each children's day together and their fond memories of such

Also, Levi are you fucking srs why are you checking up on MC with a damn crystal ball as if your ass can't stand the fact that they're out smiling with the Gehenna besties like????

I clicked on the prologue and his ass was already mad and it made me laugh because see??? see what I mean by he's always mad about something? lmao

Also he made Foras go out and help him do the spying like? Ok

He made Foras feel bad about suggesting to go nerf Minhyeok if Levi wished it and this man is like "oh a sudden death that will make one miss the other forever" and he's referring to Solomon here and Foras was like "fuck" (HONESTLY Levi he only suggested that to make you feel better like don't do that .-.)

Learned some stuff about the devil named Seere, who can travel anywhere and through dreams too in a blink of an eye (reminds me of someone from another fandom...) and that's the one who produced the memory manipulation spell and it seems he just does this any way to cause mischief on Earth (so if anyone experiences deja vu blame him /j)

So the rules are, Levi can't alter things too much or it messes with each others minds or causes both of them or just Levi to wake up out of the dream if I'm getting that right

also Satan is about to get pissed the fuck off because they also got a sleeping spell/poition from Seere and everyone in the palace was asleep LMAO. The fact that he pretty much knocked everyone out so he could do what he wanted without pushback goodness.

NOW i'mma go over the dream events:

Minhyeok looked so ready and adorable in his uniform, confirmed this is high school Minhyeok and MC.

Minhyeok saw Levi just standing in his room and was like o______o the fuck? And Levi literally snapped his fingers and erased him.

Imagine the nightmare Minhyeok had as a teenager and was like "a demon fucking erased me from existence omfg" and his parents were like ???? and his brother was like "lol wut"

anyways moving forward, MC noticed the changes but didn't challenge them (Levi is hot wow gonna forget my friend ig /j)

Already this man is mad at MC for tripping and not tying their shoes...plz???

Also for whatever reason MC is very clumsy here, like everything reads to me like a Kdrama where every moment MC is falling, tripping, forgetting shit and Levi is getting annoyed and pissed off at every mistake and it's sending me because dude it is not that deep please relax

Cool Levi moments though is when he ties the shoes, blocks MC from getting hit by a volleyball, lends his gym clothes, gets a cream bun for MC, and takes MC to the nurse because they sprained their ankle

WTF Levi moments is....him basically glaring at the teacher who didn't challenge him, choking another fucking student for almost hitting MC with the volleyball, shoving students (actually I like that and wish I had someone to shove people out the way to get me stuff)

everything else was pretty tame and a good set up though for a highschool au, ASIDE from the sexual stuff? (again personal preference so don't axe me in the mentions)

Next, some screenshots of Levi doing the MOST

You see this? This is you all's king btw because he and I would have been boxing...like? don't fucking call me stupid for forgetting shit like a bitch has ADHD so yeah I fucking forgot damn.

and CUT THEIR FEET OFF? LEVI PLEASE

But again this is good material for how he would act in a school au setting, I do remember doing a childhood au with him and the other kings and he reacted similarly by finding everything they did annoying, kept to himself, and caused an issue that nearly killed everyone because he couldn't control his powers just yet, so if I do decide to do a highschool au with Astra I'll remember Levi's reactions for reference

Oh and a couple other things

this is our official room in Gehenna?

Baby....

I'm giving Satan extra smooches this room is gorgeous? Do we fuck in here too? I would. (i'm a sucker for canopy beds with ornate designs)

Just some mini lore about Seere. Also something about him being under Asmodeus or this being mostly monitored by Asmo? (someone help here I was speed reading) So that's interesting.

Overall, everyone that likes schoolboy role play sexy time, have at it. My journey stops here at the sfw part.

Justice for Minhyeok though he is just in the void somewhere like

a funny thing before you all go look at Glas' name

it's usually Glasyalabolas, right? I was cracking up because he's never beating the Ikea furniture name allegations.

[lovesickry]

- the devil is in the details.

┈⋆⭒ daniel ricciardo x fem!reader [1.2k] ┈⋆⭒ part 1 !

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ find all parts here! .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ blurb: you knew him before he got famous, he got famous, you got a job. now years later, your job just so happens to be near him, but how will this fare on the way you left things years ago? .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ chapter contents: nothing, literally nothing .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ future warnings: will be smut. ( will probably be very filthy ). will be angsty, will be periods of niceness, maybe fluff but i’m a cold hearted bitch so. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ brief background: this is not a y/n story i’m sorry i cant do that. so its an original character her name is dylan tait, she was born in perth but lives in melbourne, okay mwah. this is based from the years 2018-2021, but there will be flashbacks, but i’ll try and make the timeline as easy as i can to follow. i’m not all knowing about formula one, yes i know things, but if i don’t know the real scientific names just shush. ty. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ a/n: his is a multi part fic and will probably be long LOL

present day: december 1st, 2017

you could feel your sweat slowly beading on your skin as you walked towards the mercedes building, holding the folder with all the things they said were required to secure the job. it was terrifying, absoultely nerve wracking, you’ve been to many job interviews in your life, but this one. this would be the worst, you were sure of it.

you were grateful as you opened the door and were hit with the freezing cold atmosphere of the waiting room, waiting to meet with the man who you had heavily engaged with over email, but never face to face. you sat there for an appropriate amount of town, recalling your rehearsed answers for the reasons you’d be good for the job etc, your experience, where you went to university, where you got your masters, your (acceptable) hobbies, how you work as a team, how you work individually. all the good stuff.

this calmed your nerves a bit and when the man opened the door and ushered you inside, shaking your hand introducing himself and gesturing to the folder of documents under your arm, you felt slightly more at ease than before.

the interview went as well as you could’ve hoped, he was impressed with your interest and experience in engineering at such a young age (27). you even managed to ease in your (slightly exaggerated almost) fluency in german, which he was loudly impressed with and responded “toto will love that”.

you left with a “thank you so much for this opportunity” and a “i’ll be in contact soon, thank you again”.

you couldn’t help smiling as you left, feeling proud of how you managed to not mess anything up initially. having a job in f1 being a dream of yours and working for mercedes. well shit. who wouldn’t dream of this. you’d applied for performance engineer, but wouldn’t be surprised if you got control engineer instead. the reminder that you were a woman in engineering applying for a widely male dominated area was a common unfriendly reminder, but that was honestly apart of the appeal.

“grace” you say

“GRACE grace grace grace”

“yes what i just woke up” she groaned

shit you forgot about time zones

“oh sorry, yeah, love you- anyway.”

you paused a bit

“I JUST HAD THE INTERVIEW AND IT WENT REALLY GOOD”

you heard some shuffling and then

“PMG SHIT YES I DIDNT. I FORGOT IT WAS TODAY, OMG FUCK YES YSS YES FUCKING MERCEDES FPRMULA ONE EMGINNER COMING THEOUGH HOLY SHIT”

“i know, i think i’m gonna scream when i get in my car”

“i don’t blame you”

“i just cant believe it, you know you have to fly over and visit me sometimes”

“hmmmm with what money dyl “

“i’ll literally pay for you once i’m a millionare, because you’ll still be my only friend”

“oh shut up”

“love you”

“i’m going back to sleep now, you’re amazing, have a drink or two for me, good whatever time it is there, you’re amazing”

“bye love you bye”

that was probably the cheesiest thing you’d done, admittedly, but what else does one do other than call their only friend on the other side of the world after a good interview.

——————————————————————————

3 days later:

there was still no response back about the job and honestly you were losing hope slightly. albeit finding ways to justify the belated response. because maybe, yes, you were being slightly impatient. but staying in london of all places by yourself, isn’t that much fun, you mainly just drank and took photos and than went back to your hotel, ( lamely ) reviewed blue prints of engines and aerodynamic rules or alternatively watched a documentary about the job you applied for. your days were blurry and you’d haven’t given much thought to the job you’d taken forcing the proximity of coming back into contact with your once good friend (complicated) daniel ricciardo until one night, after youd had your couple drinks and was on your walk home that his name “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸” illuminated your screen, the same contact name he set for himself approximately 7 years ago. you needed to change that, jesus. you didn’t really know what to do, but not answering at all was probably worse and you were drunk and hadn’t talked to anybody apart from grace and the interview man all week.

you pause your unsteady walk and swipe the screen and bring the phone to your ear, waiting for him to say something. but after he’s quiet for what felt like too many seconds you can’t help yourself.

“helllllloooooooooooooo”

“dan’el” the slur in your voice unmissable when you say his full name.

“hey” he says, flat and fast.

your swaying had been worse than you’d imagined when you’d brushed shoulders with someone, turning your head over your shoulder.

“oh, sorry”

“no problem love” tone thick with beer and blokeness.

the phone hanging at your leg brought back up to your ear to hear a small laugh, familiar and rhythmic and then.

“are you in london?” his first full sentence and the first multiple words he’s actually said to you in years.

“what how do you-“

“yes i’m in london” i give up

he hums in response,something you hated about him, the constant inability to shut up.

“why do you care” you say notebly less bitter than you mean.

“haven’t talked in a while”

“oh really”

you look at your messages, texts from you all left on delivered or read:

************ ************ ************ ************ *****

sun may 29. 2016

hey dan just wanted to reach out and say what happened in monaco was so unfair, i know your hurting you deserved that win. i’m here if you need.

july 1. 2016

happy birthday dan, getting so old

hey, tough day, wanna call?

sun. oct 2016

hey just finished watching, first malaysian win and against roseberg too, proud of you, !!!!

nov. 2016

i cant do this anymore, can you please talk to me?

i’m sick of this shit

dec. 2016

i miss you so fucking bad

(1) missed call from “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸”

feb. 2017

i’m gonna be in perth next month, can we please talk

(1) voicemail left

——————————————————————————

“yeah i know” he says, you can see him tugging his hair, frustrated, a small groan leaving his mouth

“okay im hanging up, i’ve tried talking to you, i don’t know what what you want” this isn’t fair for you.

“no- just- quickly- are you working at mercedes?”

you stop walking. what, how did he-

“uhhhh— no” you squeeze out, feigning as much honesty as you can.

“really?”

“hmmmmm” you pretend to ponder your answer

“goodbye daniel” it’s all you can muster up to say your self control nearly snapping everytime he speaks

“wait-“

you hang up, before he can squeeze another word in, before he can say anything that might bring back an inkling of what you felt for him, what you still feel for him. you can’t do it, not tonight.

(1) new voicemail from “dannnnnniiieeellll🥸”

god you need to change that name.

you’ll listen to it in the morning, not sure you’ll fully process it, in the state you are. you put your phone away, get to your hotel and go to sleep. thankfully.

[c00kietin]

thank GOODNESS I could finish this- beneath the cut's a profile for them!! :D

buckle up, because it's a lot of information-

TENEBRIS!!!

Goes by they/them pronouns :D

Don't ask them for their age. Even I don't know how old they are.

The one and only leader of the Obitus Cult/Cult of Obitus!!

A very egotistic and anti-social being that has utterly devoted their loyalty to their "god" Obitus.

Can be quick to anger as well, lashes out on their members if they're really frustrated.

Of course, they're nothing like this around newcomers. Needs to somehow convince them to join, right?

Well, they can just force people if they wanted to with spells.

The magic they're capable of involves more chants and recitals, as well as making very strange substances and potions.

Their shopping list looks very strange, as you can imagine.

Kind of tying in the shopping thing, they get all of their resources delivered to their temple. Tenebris very rarely leaves the premises, and the members aren't allowed to leave at all.

They hate children. And chocolate.

And bright lighting- all the rooms in the temple are very dimly lit and all their clothes are darkly coloured.

This is their voice claim!

Their hair is quite heavy (and well taken care of) so you can guess that they're very slow.

MORE THINGS ABOUT THE CULT ITSELF!!

You can call it either the Obitus Cult or the Cult of Obitus- Tenebris calls it the latter.

This group made up of almost 100 people places their faith and loyalty to Obitus.

According to Tenebris- who claimed to have witnessed them in their sleep one night, starting up the cult the next day- Obitus plans on completely obliterating the Earth of humanity and civilization and told them to prepare for the end of the world. basically.

When this will happen?....Tenebris wasn't told that.

They also do not know what this otherworldly overlord looks like- however, they know an eye-shaped symbol (on Tenebris' hat and necklace) is very important as that appeared in their dream too.

The temple is located in a very secluded mountain range- Tenebris was simply told to go there by Obitus and it was already there. Convenient.

As pictured above, members have to have the eye symbol engraved into their wrist (or palm)- after this, they happen to be almost under a trance or brainwashed.

When praying to Obitus, they expose out the arm with the marking and their other arm behind that one, raised up to their face. Like this:

I hope that makes sense sjkksjks- while they do have lengthy prayer times and different types of prayers, a short and simple one they use is "We place our faith in Obitus."

The temple is full of many different rooms, including a dining hall, summoning room and bunkers (Tenebris gets their own room, obviously.)

They also follow a strict schedule- They must be asleep by 8 p.m. and awake and ready for the day by 4 a.m. They have two food breaks- one for breakfast and one for dinner. Once a month, they also hold a summoning ritual in order to attempt communicating with Obitus once more.

Members have their own jobs as well as worshipping Obitus though- cooking, cleaning, assisting Tenebris; that's all done by them as well.

While Tenebris mainly targets lonely people or those who don't have a social life, they are happy to accept anyone in! Well, that is if you're over 18.

I'm afraid teenagers (and children) are not allowed to join. However, Tenebris does take note of minors who do want to join and if you're REALLY nice, may let you visit the temple if you do some errands for them.

EXTRA FACT STUFF ABOUT TENEBRIS:

I based them more off of what first comes to mind when you think of cults- and, unintentionally, they also partially remind me of the cult in Spooky Month which I forgot existed ;-;

Because, after researching real life cult leaders, I felt like their stories weren't really what I was going for with Tenebris.

I guess the Peoples Temple founded by Jim Jones and the Family Cult by Anne Hamilton-Byrne were partial inspirations- oh, and religious experiences I've had, Catholic-Christian ones that is. (this is in no way meant to portray anything bad about that religion- or any at all- I just wanted to make the cult-y side of this more interesting by basing it off of what I know.)

My sister nicknames them Tenny and I (as well as others hee hee) nickname em Tennis, so you might see that often lol

I'm pretty sure they're the first oc I posted about on here! Although I think the post got like 7 notes-

When I first drew them, which was a while ago, they were more like a triangle shape and had larger eyes- my sister likes this version more but I think it just looks goofier- might post it once I find it :D

Tenebris means Darkness in Latin (according to translators) because I couldn't think of a name for them and just thought "think of something kinda edgy, then make it Latin to sound cool >:D"

Obitus means Death in Latin (according to translators once more I can't speak Latin-)

Thank you for reading this far!! I'm going to just tag @night-terrorzz @lobotomize-d n @gummy-worms-in-my-brain since you lovely people seem to like this cult leader :>

[femme4ngel]

If your requests are open could you write Erling Haaland x hairstylist reader

Reader making a video of washing his hair (in the salon) and he tries moving his head so she pulls him by the hair back. Maybe in the background of the video you hear her voice "just a reminder i.do.not do this to my clients I'm kinda dating him and he did annoy me a lot this weekend"

-🍷

i kinda took it to a different direction im sorry 😭hope u still like it tho mwah

~ erling haaland x hairdresser reader

it was media day, everyone running around the place, photographers, makeup artists and the players of course. you yawned as you sat down for a second, you just did half of the teams hair, you felt exhausted. it took you a good two hours, styling everyone, working together with the cameramen, the makeup artists, it was a mess. ( plus jack kept complaining about the amount of gel you used.. in the end you let him drench his hair in it just so he would leave your chair) you yawn in the chair, rubbing your eyes, trying to get some strength into yourself when out of nowhere you feel hands on your shoulders. you know its him without looking around, you can smell his cologne and the way his finger’s slowly massage your back is way too familiar.

“ are you tired baby?”- he asks, leaning close, his chest pressing against your back, his lips dangerously close to your neck. you get goosebumps from his presence, how tall and huge he is, how he stands behind you.

“mhm..”- you stand up from your chair, facing him with a blush and a smile on your face.

“ is it your turn to get your hair done or are you just trying to distract me erling?”

“its my turn promise!” - he looks at you shocked, his brows furrowed, why would you assume he’s there to mess around with you?.. distracting you? oh he never would do such thing..

you hum as a response and push him down into the chair. his hair is beautiful but its getting so weak from him tying it up all the time.. you brush it out, running your fingers through it.

“ erling. i have a crazy idea.”- you look at him in the mirror, with a huge grin.

“ oh oh. and what’s your idea”?- he looks at you in the mirror, his eyes sparkling from the curiosity.

“ will you let me braid your hair? you know like i did on friday, but i would put some hair oil in it now.. and and it will look so good trust me! i think it will go with the new jersey so much more than a bun..! you look so good in that jersey….”

you can see it on his face that you already convinced him, he loves wearing his hair in braids, and he trusts you with it totally. ( plus that comment of him looking good in the new jersey gave him such an ego boost, he wouldn’t let you do anything else with his hair) he nods enthusiastically, staring at you and your eyes, he’s mesmerized.

“mhm okay braids it is” - you say, leaning closer to him, acting like your brushing through his locks, and quickly pressing a kiss on his cheek. he lights up, his face turning bright red. you smile coyly to yourself, you love the effect you have on him. you get back to his hair, brushing it again, then grabbing some hair ties as you get to braiding. you decide on two strands of dutch styled braids and everything is going smoothly and well until erling starts hissing.

“ouch ouch, y/n your hurting mee, you keep pulling on my scalp” - he complains, sulking in the chair.

“ i’m not pulling! just tilt your head back more!”- to these demands ( the himbo he is) he manages to tilt his head forwards, getting completely out of your hands.

“ oh god”- u sigh, taking his head into your hands and directing him towards the angle you need him in.

“ oh damn, i think my hair is actually fine as it is”- you hear as kevin enters the room, his snarky comment making you blush and the camera crew bust out laughing.

your embarrassed, you almost forgot how many people and cameras are around you.

“ i didn’t.. its okay, trust me he’s the only one getting rough treatment, cuz he doesn’t know the difference between forward and backwards!”- your explanation gets erling to spin around in the chair, looking at you with his mouth open.

“ no i know! i was just escaping you and your hair pulling! i swear i know the difference! - he looks around upset, hoping that he convinced the crew of his knowledge of positions.

“mhm okay okay sure.. whatever please lay back now i have to do your hair”- you roll your eyes, softly pushing him back into the chair, ignoring the giggling around the room.

(…)

his hair of course ends up gorgeous, and it holds together so nicely (thanks to your talent) that he wears his hair in the braids at tomorrow’s training.

[thefadingyouth]

Thousand Miles to Find a God

word count: 3000

The blood in my mouth was a small comfort to remind me that I was alive. A swift punch to the face and a stumble back as I stared into the crowded bar. My mind tried to find a way to spin this story as I took another step back. A hand touched my shoulder, causing me to jump. A woman in fine fabrics and gold jewels glistened on her face; my body was without air for a moment as she waved the brutes off. Her smile was like wine, addictively sweet, as she walked with me to the treeline.

Day 5456 of the Journey

“Dad? Dad!” My daughter’s voice awakens me as I'm greeted by the sunlight. I sat up as my sweet girl moved to tack the horses. Dazed by the golden rays greeted alongside her, a vision of her mother. I on the other hand looked of death, as she had been up for longer.

 "C'mon, old man.” Was the next thing I was greeted by as she hurried me to pack up our supplies, her least favorite chore. It had been years since we began this adventure, since her 15th birthday, and now, on the cusp of her 18th, we had traveled over four kingdoms. The summer sun beat down on us today, and many complaints flowed from my girl. 

“Tonight I’m cutting my hair.” Was a favorite of hers today as a combination of Mud deciding to run and the strong breeze caused her to lose most of her composure. The gelding already had made it known that he refused to follow the pace.  

“Yeah, you said that last week, kid.” I laughed. I looked back at her thick black hair, which was then tangled in the wind. The only thing she gained from me was that attitude. The path we followed coiled like a snake, leading us to the nearest town, and despite the troubles that we had faced, all I had was a smile.. We pitched camp for the night a few miles from Old Kilshire, as it was the summer equinox 

Day 5457 of the Journey

“Hey chickadee, ya ever wanna see where your old man grew up?” I covered my anxieties about my return with optimism as we reached the gates of Old Kilshire. The town was a bustling trade route due to the many rivers flowing from it, and it showed as we trotted into town. Fresh carts of fish and fruits sat along the path, as we entered the market. The smell was a delight, despite looking at the horrendous look on my daughter's face. 

“Ugh, you like this smell??” She gagged out as we stopped at an old tavern. I nodded, soon dismounting and tying the horses up. The aged oak doors greeted me as we walked in, as the music roared out. We walked into the tavern, I saw an older woman—her figure lost to time, now old and frail. She calls out her usual greeting until her eyes meet mine. Tears pooled into her eyes, as she smiles. 

“Dear Artie, sit, sit.” She called, tapping at a seat near her. “You look like your father.” She spoke as if I were still a child. She analyzed my aged face as I sat beside her, soon changing her gaze to my daughter. They appeared to be in a deep conversation without speaking a word to each other. The contrast between them was startling, but I forgot how my mother’s eyes shined like emeralds. The two shared this, maybe by coincidence, but as I shifted in my seat, I once again caught their attention. 

The evening came with less rest than what we’ve had for a while, between my sudden return and the festivities of the summer’s equinox. I sat on the porch of my childhood home, my daughter resting on my old bed.

“Now, Arthur, why didn’t you come home?” I heard my father’s voice join me.

“It’s not that simple, ol’ man.” I tried to dissuade him from this, I didn’t need this less than a month from our destination. 

“Arthur, you disappeared for almost 19 years.” His voice was like gravel “We thought you died, and now you turn up with a strange girl?” 

“That’s your granddaughter, not a strange girl. Trust me.” 

The music could’ve drowned out this conversation if I had tried. The moon was full, and people were wild as they celebrated in the streets. We stayed quiet, and after a few minutes of silence, he spoke once more. 

“Kid, you worried your mother to death; we mourned you.” I sat watching his face, the worry in his voice, and the wrinkles that were once faint now fold over each other.

“I get that; I was...busy.” I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t apologize. I wasted no time. “You didn’t see the mess on the field—men dying in filth and cities turning to ash.” His face was unmoved as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

“I know, the town was nearly destroyed.” His voice once sounded kind. “What happened to you, though?” 

War is brutal, and when fueled by the divine, it’s worse. The plan we created was horrendous, and as the general walked out of the tent, I grabbed his arm. 

“Leon, we can’t do this; it goes against everything we know.” His face and the glare I was given lacked any humanity.

“Longstern, I said, burn it down. End of story.” I stood there, watching him leave. I knew I had been horrendous, unredeemable even. Now I watched the man I had trusted with my life disregard innocent lives and so many innocent people. 

“No...” I watched his face turn into a scowl. 

A quick pain, a broken nose, and my body in a ditch. 

I shook my head, trying to erase any remnants in my mind. My father understood at this moment; we both stared out at children in the streets chasing each other with wooden swords. 

“Her name’s Ashae.” I sighed out, “She honestly answers anything but.” 

“Good name, strong one too.” He shorted out. “She reminds me of you, Ornery.” He patted my shoulder as he laughed, coughing, reminding me of our age. 

 The bright moonlight shone on my father’s figure, his face a mirror to mine, as he turned to go inside. I remained on the porch, taking my father’s old post. The night was long with parties and other celebrations, none of which allowed me to rest well. 

Day 5458 of the Journey

“Dad, can’t we stay for another day?” Ashae yawned as I prepared for today’s journey. The sun had yet to even rise as we finished saddling up our horses. I couldn’t face leaving again, but it was out of necessity, unlike before. I watched Ashae look back onto her grandparent’s home, the fresh braids in her hair as she turned back to the path ahead.

“We’ll be back in a month, kiddo. Hell, we can celebrate your birthday in the tavern.” I laughed as we continued. In two weeks time, we’d be in the next village getting supplies, and she would become obsessed with that town as well. 

“Think of it as house hunting, hmm, I mean, who else travels like this?” I tried to persuade her as we continued through the woods. Her silence was unnerving, she was always a chatty child, but the farther we went, it turned to complaints.

“Are you sure mom even wants to meet me?” Her voice was sudden as we crossed a stream.  

“Of course she does; she’ll love you, hun.” Another lie, how many did this one make? I looked back at her face, full of distrust. I had to try to convince her. "Sweetheart, you can’t raise a kid in the temple; it’s so dangerous.”  The next hours were filled with bickering, and trying to remind her of why we were doing this

No one could reason with how she was for the next few days; if we lived a normal life, she’d be hiding in her room. Instead, she refused to speak to me, and I wondered which would be worse.  The days would drag due to this, and to cope, I’d talk to the horses. Despite her efforts, I at least got a smile from that.

Day 5472 of the Journey

 It was almost two weeks until her next words. Silent treatment is rough. 

“Is that a lake?” Her voice was filled with energy, it was rare that our routes we’d take would drive us this close to water. Often, because of flooding, we’d be miles from any water, a nice surprise for the sweltering day.

Tacking horses was the easy part of setting up camp; making sure that neither of us got snagged on the fishing line we set up was the difficult part. I saw the little girl my child used to be—her smile with crooked teeth and a wrinkled nose. I missed that curly hair and how happy her emerald green eyes were. This was one thing that never left after all those years—that smile. She lay on the lake shore, identical to her mother. The sunset on the lake was like a sight from my youth. Ashae brought in the fish we caught and the mussels that lay by the shore. She laughed as we talked about the good ‘ol days from before this journey. The days of camping by the creek, hiding away in old cabins, and such—as a father, I wish the life I gave her was better. We sat watching the moon rise across the ridge, and sleep soon took hold.

Day 5475 of the Journey

The morning dew had soaked through my socks, a normal nuisance. Ashae was still asleep late into the day, as the morning sun had yet to cause discomfort. Her hair was still in the braids I gave her last night, but this morning it looked more blue. I shook my head; it was more likely the lighting than anything fantastical. This world was anything but fantastical; while many types of people walked this land—elven folk was her favorite—something about how they behaved with magic. This was beyond my forte; I was a soldier by blood; I just needed to get to the temple and keep her safe. This was everything to me— correction she is everything. 

“Mornin pop’s” She yawned out, she rummaged through our packs for breakfast. She always looks so tired in the morning

“Mornin Chickadee, plan to head out in ‘10.” I told her, "We are less than a day away. Just a few more miles and you’ll see your mom.”

The morning was quick, and we knew that it was almost over. The rush of what we were to accomplish in our 10 years on the move. The excitement took hold as we reached town. 

“How ‘bout an early gift, hmm.” I yelled back as we reached the town’s gate. Her face filled with joy at the thought of no longer wearing my hand-me-downs. 

The stores were the highlight of the day as by dusk she glowed in the elaborate fabrics of her outfit. We ate at the town’s inn for dinner and stayed for the night. I decided to tell Ashae more about the war and my part in it. She deserves to know.

Day 5478 of the Journey

The best rest we’ve received for awhile, and despite the lack of stars, a hot breakfast was a nice change. Ashae changed from her normal attire into her new outfit as within the next hour we will be reaching the Temple of Saffronia. To say I’m nervous is an understatement as truly meeting with the overseer of conquest is no small thing, but despite that a girl needs a mother… even if she is an ancient goddess.

 The path has been serene today, low with humidity and without clouds. If all goes well we’d be a happy family, and She will never have to worry about anything ag— 

A sudden thump and a horse snorts as its rider falls off. A young woman follows as she hurriedly tries to stop his bleeding. A man in blue robes tries to pull her off of the injured rider, his hand burned by an unknown flame and soon overcome by it. 

 A scream, and after a few minutes she grabs the reins of both the horses and sets the fallen rider upon his own steed.  She returns her path towards the temple. 

Day 5479 of my living hell

They need to build better temples, this one burned too easily. The goddess of conquest and her religious freaks had another thing coming. Outside of that, I have to take care of two horses and figure out how one buries the only family they’ve known. I look insane in these clothes, and I plan on using whatever I stole from that glorified pyre of smoke to buy him good clothes for when he goes into the dirt.

I wanna go home… The quiet has been horrible. I went to the woods outside of town with the horses, but I swear I can still hear him calling my name. 

Day 5490 of being alone

Dad’s buried at the lake, today is the first day of being alone now… officially. Word has gotten out about the temple, luckily the current assumption is that it was a cult. I think I’m gonna go back to dad’s old town and live with my grandparents. Cordell has been down of course, but Mud’s trying to help. I’ve been wearing dad’s clothes to help.

I tried making his fried trout, instead I had burnt trout for dinner. He probably would’ve had an old story from when he was a cadet to tell me because of this. 

Day 5494 of being alone

I keep hearing voices at night, I think it’s paranoia but I’m cutting my hair to make sure I pass more masculine before I decide to leave the lake. I haven’t decided to leave yet, it still feels too sudden. I can’t seem to figure out what killed him, right now the assumption is a poisoned dart.

It had to have been poison or magic, maybe even both but whatever it is can’t be of any use to me if I can't sleep. 

Day 5496 of running from nothing

The woman’s voice is still strong and I swore I saw someone last night. I have cut my hair, it’s gross and short, but I will make do. Last night I ate off of leftovers before he passed. I wish I could have gotten the recipes. 

I made it to town at around noon, I saw more blue robes like the charred one who killed him. I’m keeping my head low, I’m staying at the tavern tonight. If I don’t sleep inside tonight I’m gonna go mad.

Day 5497 of running from nothing

Last night I think I saw the woman. She was sitting on the foot of my bed, she looked so cruel. I just laid there, pretending to remain asleep, I think it’s a ghost or something to tell me to leave. Though templemen are now doing patrols, I’ve decided to stay at this tavern for some security. 

Dad had told me about how he used to live in taverns and all he’d do instead of pay is be a guard. Those stories would end with him getting caught drinking and being thrown out or a rowdy fight due to a girl. I’d kill for one of those over dramatic tales right now. 

Day 5499 of being alone

Another spotting of her tonight. She was in the treeline, I’m almost certain I saw her. I may be going insane truly. Just a bit longer before I return to the fish smelling town, there I'll have a normal life and after a few years everything will be fine.

Day 5505 of journey to nowhere

I made it to old Kilshire, I was afraid to see it in ruins. It was worse, many homes abandoned, the market was gone and charred and runes of that damned goddess carved into the remains of homes. I took the horses to my fathers childhood home. It was gone, nothing remaining but a seared line in the dirt on where it stood. 

 My grandparents are nowhere to be seen, most likely with everyone else. I’m staying in what remains of their tavern and debating on what to do . Everything I could have had is gone, everything I knew was gone. I never had a home until this and even now as I sit with the only smell in the air is soot and sulfur. 

 These journal entries to keep me sane were for nothing, and yet I can’t help but to write. My only comfort is the woman standing across this river staring at me as she calls my name once more. I don’t wanna be alone anymore, she sings promises of a home and I just want to trust her.

The river divided Ashae’s worlds. Her appearance was that of a soldier drunk on rage as she swore at the ethereal woman from across the riverbed. Despite all that screamed in her to run and to fight, she collapsed into the ash and dirt. The woman glided to her, and the evening sun shined like gold upon her skin and into her garnet eyes as she held her daughter's face. A cruel smile upon her lips formed as Ashae accepted the embrace. This was the only family she could have, one that could never die. The goddess knew that, as she took her hand, allowing Ashae to stand once more. She had created the perfect soldier, one devoid of almost all comforts of humanity. A soldier so willing for praise, and one that can still be trained as the goddess stared down at her daughter's tear stained face and stroked her hair. Sure raising a child herself would have been easier, but the joy of watching it all unfold was better. Now to train her abilities, that would be the fun part

[fluffalpenguin]

@arcvmonth day 24: the manga

oh man oh MAN it's vj day!!!!!

it's pretty funny how all my gifs are mostly yuri-centered huh

Under the cut:

revisiting my review of the manga from last year

Headcanons and fic/comic ideas

rambling about an old WIP

small playlist! (with write-ups!)

First of all, here's the 3,000 words analysis/blog thing I wrote last year when I first finished it.

One and a half years later, I still largely agree with it! There's some headcanons I wrote in there that I completely forgot about, lol, so I'm glad past me posted it somewhere for current me to relieve it again! (The rants were also kind of funny to re-read too)

***

Next, headcanons!

Lately, I found myself wondering about Yuto and Yuri's outfits; specifically-

...Why are they walking around Maiami with dramatic red/black capes?

After some time in the kitchen, I decided that when Yuya was younger, he was really into good versus evil roles when rehearsing his dueltainment lines. And who else better to serve as his practice opponents than his two brothers who aren't off busy making rounds at the stadium on a D-Wheel?

Tying his own fluffy, white towel around his shoulders, Yuya throws a nearby black blanket to Yuto. The oldest is initially a little embarrassed about the notion, but no one can ever say no to the baby of the Sakaki family, can they? (He'll just have to live the shame down from the twins later on... They barely even respect him as they are right now, anyway) In the middle of the duel, Yuri walks in onto the two of them after having finished his homework (or tweaking his deck). He raises an eyebrow at Yuto's appearance, but gets the gist of the situation when he sees their duel disks activated and Yuya standing on top of the sofa in a similar attire. As Yuto steals Yuya's schtick and becomes a tomato, Yuri pouts about being left out and quickly leaves to hunt for something that will allow him to join the fun. When the duel ends, Yuto passes the baton to Yuri. As he watches the two rattle off silly, goofy lines like, I will destroy the planet, the universe, all the worlds! and, Never! I'll stop you, fiend!, Yuto sighs in relief. At least Yuya now has Yuri to LARP with. Maybe Yugo would volunteer too, once he returned from driving practice and hears about it. Though, he'd likely ask to play the part of the hero himself. Anyway, Yuto's already almost in middle school; he's getting a little too old to play with costumes now. Then afterwards, at dinner, with an angelic smile Yuya says, "Yuuto, can we play like that again sometime? You look so cool with a cape!"

Yuri on the other hand, always had a tendency for the melodramatic, his own personal spin of the theatrics he's seen from his dad! Deep down he really loves playing the villain.

(This was meant to be a short description but I couldn't help putting some fic-like sentences in there tehe also yes that's a reference to the conversation between Yuya and G.O.D./Eve)

***

(warning: angst ahead)

Another headcanon I have that I want to write/draw something for is that in the postcanon where Reiji, Yuya, Isaac and Ren travel through space and time together, Yuya has moments where he falters to his grief.

He's used to his brothers commenting and nagging him on almost anything and everything (A midnight snack? Think about your complexion, Yuya!) and his world is suddenly a lot more quiet. In his hurt, he starts to avoid Ren, not wanting to be reminded of what he's lost (He doesn't feel good about it).

Eventually Reiji intervenes and Yuya opens up a little. He's been unable to properly let himself grief for his brothers. All he wants to say is that he misses them.

But he doesn't feel like he has the right to do so, having being the one to seal their fates by personally destroying the one method of bringing them back to life. He doesn't regret his decision of course, but he's unable to stop himself from feeling this way too.

It has a happy ending; Reiji convinces Yuya to talk to Ren. Yuya shares stories about Yugo at Ren's request, making the both of them laugh. Yuya realises that there are other methods of bringing back people to life, too, even if only momentarily.

But it is enough.

***

Misc hcs:

Yuya's charisma and attitude is a combination of his three brothers fawning over his cuteness from birth and Yuya being so star-struck with Yusho's performances he attempted to replicate the movements ever since he could walk.

Being the oldest, Yuto feels a sense of responsibility for his brothers and pledged to take care of them in place of his always-missing parents. However, he oft times finds himself not having to do much because Yugo and Yuri are so determined to win over Yuya's heart (and be proclaimed 'favourite brother') that they also make sure to set a good example for the youngest when possible. This causes Yuto a little bit of an identity crisis (/j it's just for fun) until he settles into his role as the househusband cook.

"All of us... are connected by... the arc of destiny!"

Reiji and Yuya are supposed to be silhouetted by their fathers, so Yuzu is meant to seem like she's looking at Yuya, but is in fact looking at Yusho. I also think VJ Yuto should be allowed to smile more!

This drawing is meant to be my love letter to the manga as a whole, and ESPECIALLY the last duel between Reiji and Yuya. I talked about it a whole ton in the review linked above already, so go check that out if you haven't!!

I was really happy with the composition when I first made this, especially with Sora/Ren/Isaac Versus the Yus mirroring their duels! (Well, okay, I know Isaac didn't duel Yuto but.... just give this to me)

Anyway I really wanted a fun and positive energy for it! Every month I think about returning to this but I get slightly demotivated when I realise I have *zero* colour references for both Ren and Isaac... Please send in your headcanons...

***

Last but not least, last month I got brain worms for another animatic/hand-drawn MV for Eve's Fight Song! I'll never ever have to time to go back to it, but I wanted to take the chance to talk about other songs that make me ill when I think about them with the manga.

1. Myth & Roid - TRAGEDY:ETERNITY

Don’t give me an eternity Even if that’s all I can believe Press pause on the flow of time In the shadow of the blink of an eye I don’t wanna fall into a sleep ‘Cause now you are my remedy Now knocking on, knocking on, knocking on my brain Even for the temptation of a nightmare Fate demands a costly reparation for its fare

Translated lyrics mostly from lyrical-nonsense, but I made some changes for better rhyming and flow yahoo!! This song is what I imagine the OP would be in my dreams when it received an anime adaptation, I've always dreamed of making my own animatic to it!!

Not just the chorus, but the ENTIRE SONG (pleeeease go take a look at the lyrics) feels like it's made for the manga please please go take a look

2. MYTH & ROID - -to the future days

I cast my wishes to the future days If we can meet on the other side of eternity… I cast my wishes to the future days What should we talk about first? Sadness and even joy will, eventually Will sleep together That's the way life is If such a world could be granted Would nobody feel hurt anymore?

Yeah I like M&R quite a bit, how'd you know

If T:E was the hypothetical OP, this is my pick for the ED theme, like AAAAAAAA for me it encompasses the yu's story so so so so so so so well, though

And:

Both despair and also life come to end eventually Take this future into your hands and let it run its course Spin it ’round…… The hands on the clock spin around Like flowers, petals falling and fluttering Once we blossom, we dissipate in the moment THE BRIDGE THE BRIDGE THE LYRICS ARGHHHHHHHH This is definitely for me, the moment when the three yus start to fade during Yuya's battle with Eve, their last conversation they have with yuya..... *lies onto the ground in a pile of misery*

Rest of the lyrics HERE shoves it into your face

3. MAISONdes - Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous

It's no joke, no it's not! Tokyo Shandy Rendezvous Even when the time comes nothing will come of it Vague truths only become melancholy Come on and snatch me away now, take on me!

This is a fun one, when I watched the PV and in the chorus Lum was spinning I instantly went wow what if that was Phantom.. and then the lyrics bared their claws and sunk them into my brain and hasn't really let go since

Unlike the above two songs, not all of the lyrics are a perfect match, of course, but I adore how in general the whimsical yet lonely nature of the song feels like it fits Phantom so well!

4. Eve - Fight Song

As the night still refuses to end, let’s dream

Last but not least the song I posted the above storyboard for! CSM fans (as well as Eve fans, lol) are probably already familiar with the song, and full lyrics here, though like the song above, only parts of the song (particularly the chorus) really resonated with the vj brainworms in my head lol Even for me, y’know Let’s make a break for the future Towards the verge of death like we pray for A boy that gave his word Today, just like back then As if there’s no more future ahead

Sigh.... Yuto, Yugo, Yuri................ Just let out your voice Let’s take it easy We don’t even know common sense, so we know the world through wise eyes These overflowing feelings, behold Greet me with an applause

I love the first half a lot, I can easily imagine Yuya saying it to the other three... and of course, the latter, from him to the world! (or perhaps even G.O.D...)

As always thanks for reading GOODBYE I GOTTA GO DRAW SOME ARC-V OCS

[captainshurley]

Baby I'm not alright, but I'm okay (Part 5)

Cash Wheeler x f reader

Previous chapter

A few months later.

The relationship between y/n and Daniel was slowly but surely improving. They texted often, and sometimes called each other. Wheeler often tell y/n some stories, talked about the city they were performing in that week, ask her how she was, how things were going at work, about the weather. They discussed literally everything in the world. Y/n was reluctant to talk about herself. Sensing this, Dan didn't pressurize the girl to get something personal out of her and turned the topic to his plans for the day.

Daniel and David were sitting in the locker room after a match at another Dynamite. They had been traveling around the states with AEW for a few weeks now, occasionally appearing on NJPW shows and shooting promos for various matches.

"Finally, almost a week home" sighed Harwood tiredly. "I've missed my girls. Finley called this morning asking when I was coming over."

"Yeah. A few days off. Paula didn't call me, of course, but I'm sure she missed me too" Daniel smiled a little sadly.

David finished tying the laces on his sneakers, walked over to his friend and patted Dan on the shoulder. "You know you're always welcome at my house and Finley is always happy to see you. I'm not sure about Maria, but Finley sure is."

Wheeler immediately caught David's playful tone and the sadness receded.

After a little thought, he picked up his phone, opened a chat with y/n and started typing.

"Hi, y/n. I'll be back in town tomorrow for a couple days. How about taking a walk?"

y/n was patrolling the city with her partner, discussing the Shotgun Rider band that was coming to town this weekend. As it turned out, they had both bought tickets to the concert.

"NO WAY! I'M A HUGE FAN OF THEM. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU ARE TOO!" marveled Jonathan. "We should go there together. I'll pick you up. No refusal accepted."

y/n laughed and jokingly punched her partner in the shoulder.

"You leave me no choice!"

The girl wanted to say something else but was distracted by the notification of a new text message.

Jonathan noticed that y/n was distracted by the phone.

"Is your celebrity crush texting again? Calling for a date?"

"Stop it. He's not my celebrity crush at all. Just a friend of my best friend, I guess. Yes, we hang out, but it's nothing like that. Just a friendly stuff."

The girl quickly typed a reply and tucked her phone away in her pocket, getting back to work again.

"Yeah, right." Jonathan stated sarcastically and returned his attention back to the road.

Wheeler, having rested a bit after flying halfway across the country, packed up and arrived at y/n's house. Fixing his hair that was slightly disheveled in the wind, he pressed the doorbell.

After a minute, the girl opened the door.

"Oh, shit. I completely forgot we agreed to go out for a walk."

Daniel took a quick look at the girl. His gaze stopped on a t-shirt with a large logo of The Revival on it. He smiled, made a note in his head to be sure to remind y/n about it, and replied, "Don't worry, it's no big deal. Pack up, I'll wait."

The girl stepped aside, letting Dan inside.

"Come on in. I'll be quick."

Y/n ran upstairs and began to change out of her house clothes.

While the girl was getting ready, Wheeler made his way into the living room.

The atmosphere inside was warm. Very minimalistic, no frills. What surprised Daniel a little was the absence of any items that somehow characterized the host. Like pictures, a lipstick forgotten on the coffee table, a magazine, a book or something like that.

"Hey... I'm ready. We can go" said the girl after a few minutes, coming down already dressed in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers.

"Yeah, sure. You look pretty by the way." Wheeler gave the girl a hand, helping her over the last step on the stairs.

The girl's face flushed at the unexpected compliment. She smiled and mumbled a barely audible "thank you".

Y/n and Daniel were strolling through French Broad River Park.

"So, you are "The Revival" fan?” said Dan, recalling to the girl that he had seen her wearing merch.

"Well... I wouldn't call myself a fan. Maria, Finlay and I went to an NXT show once. Truth be told, I only ended up there because Maria called me out. But it wasn't bad. I could even tell that I liked it."

"Wait. You were at the show? I'm surprised we only recently met if you even came to the show."

Wheeler remembered Maria coming a few times with family and friends. But he had never seen y/n among her friends.

"If I'm not mistaken, that was my only visit to NXT. I've also been to Dynamite a couple times, but that was before you and David debuted. Maybe that's why we didn't meet earlier. Besides, I don't really like too much attention on myself, and I was in a relationship with Josh at the time" After mentioning the ex-boyfriend's name y/n fell silent.

"Josh? You didn't tell me about him" gently asked Daniel.

The girl's facial expression changed from cheerful and relaxed to sad and regretful.

"There's not much to tell to be honest. We dated for a long time. But because of me, that relationship ended."

Y/n suddenly felt goosebumps run down her skin. Whether it was the cool breeze that came out of nowhere or the memories of a relationship ruined by her problems. She shuddered and clenched her body. The man noticed this, took off his jacket and threw it over the girl's shoulders.

Dan's jacket was imbued with the pleasant scent of men's cologne. The scent was soothing and relaxing y/n.

"Whatever happened there, it's not your fault. All problems and misunderstandings in a relationship are always both parties' fault."

It was noticeable by y/n that even though the jacket kept her warm, she still didn't feel comfortable.

"My last relationship didn't end well either... So, I understand how you feel."

Unexpectedly to herself, y/n hugged Daniel's hand, which he kept in his pocket. The warmth of man's body warmed y/n pleasantly.

"Thank you... You, it turns out, know how to be nice, not just wildly vulgar and weird."

Wheeler covered the girl's hand with his own and smiled softly.

"Yeah... Sorry about that. I sometimes act like an idiot when I don't know what to do. And for the past few months in my interactions with girls, this has been happening a lot. But sometimes even acting like an idiot works out."

The phone in y/n's pocket vibrated, notifying her of a new incoming message. The girl pulled out her phone.

"Maria just texted me and asked if I wanted to come over and chat with her."

Dan stopped and now looked at y/n seriously and a little frustrated from top to bottom.

"If you want, I'll walk you to David and Maria's house. We can take a walk some other time."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll text her that I'm busy right now."

The y/n's reply couldn't help but make the man happy. It warmed his heart that she had chosen him over spending time with her best friend.

Maria: "Yeah? Maybe you hang out with Dan? 🤣 Come on, get out of the house and I'll be waiting for you."

Y/n: "Actually, I really am."

Maria: "NO WAY! Don't fool me👀"

The girl grinned and shifted her gaze from her phone to Daniel.

"I told Maria I'm with you and she doesn't believe me." She was about to put her phone away but suddenly an idea hit her. "I want to take a picture and send it to Maria. Are you okay with that?"

"Sure" replied y/n Daniel and put his arm around her shoulders. Y/n took the picture and pressed send.

"I'll be expecting a message from David now" joked the man and gently took the girl's hand. "Let’s go?"

For a while they walked in silence. The silence was not heavy. They were comfortable in each other's company. They could talk, discussing everything, or they could remain silent, taking in each other's non-verbal cues. Before they noticed, the sky had clouded over and a light rain began to fall.

"I think it's time to go home," Willer suggested. He lifted his head and looked up at the sky "and hurry up. It looks like it's about to start raining in earnest."

The girl nodded and they quickly headed towards y/n's house.

As they literally ran to the house the downpour started and both were soaked from head to toe. Y/n opened the door and stepped inside.

"Well... I'll be off then. Had a good time. See you next time, I guess. Of course, if you want to." Daniel said uncertainly and was about to leave, but y/n stopped him by taking his hand.

"Don't be silly. You're all wet, and it's still raining and windy outside. Come on in. You’ll get warm, and I'll find you some dry clothes and make us some dinner. Then you can decide what you want to do next."

Dan wasn't sure if she really wanted him to stay right now or if she was just being polite, so he stood there for a few seconds deciding.

"Are you sure?" he wanted to make sure. "If it's going to be an inconvenience, I'd better go”

"It's okay. Come on in. You're welcome here."

Next chapter

[wanderingblindly]

PLEASE give me the directors cut of Til The End Of The Line bc that fix haunts me in an ethereal manner and I have simply not moved on 🫶🏻

oh my god where do I even start with 'Till the End of the Line, it was such an odd one to write. I started in back in August and literally forgot it existed until November when I was just flipping through my files.

I stopped writing it because it just felt like pretentious, surface level, uninteresting emo drivel. But when I picked it back up, I felt myself really connecting to the emotions I channeled at the time.

Plus, I had been writing a lot of comedy at the time (see: Landoscar) and wanted to flex a different creative muscle. So really, the entire thing was incredibly self serving. But anyways, let's get into some content!

The Origins

I actually received a comment on Ao3 a very long time ago with someone talking about crying on a train while reading a fic, and that idea always sort of stuck with me.

The next thing was, as it always goes, a random line popping into my head one day while going about my Tasks:

But so much life can grow in a place where no one stays

This sort of ended up being the thesis for the entire narrative: the beauty in a passing moment between two people that, maybe, won't ever see each other again despite the mark they've left on each other's lives.

The Writing Process

So I bounced around a lot with how I wanted this to read. Initially I wrote it as a traditional narrative (I have about half of the fic written in an entirely different style), but then I realized that didn't fit the vibe. I wanted it to have more of a liminal, 'what parts of this are real' energy to it, which is why I decided to not use traditional quotation marks.

The italics, something people often use for thoughts, made it feel more like the entire thing could have been made up in Charles's head. I hope that came across haha.

Here's two snippets of parts from the other style that got cut:

And so Charles gets like this sometimes, cause and timing unknown. It hits him suddenly, the overwhelming and inescapable need to just cry. One small inkling, a fragment of an idea, buries itself into every corner of his mind; spreading like a wildfire until every other thought, any distraction, just reminds him of the ache. Deep in his bones. An unsettling mix of nostalgia, loneliness, and something unnamed. Something heavy. It hangs around his neck like a lead weight.

And:

Charles looks up at the stranger, eyes following him down as he sits beside him.  “Rough day?” He tries again, voice just as soft and accent just as distinct.  “I don’t know.” Charles says numbly as he takes the tissue, blotting his eyes uselessly as the tears continue to flow down with reckless abandon. He hums contemplatively in response, adjusting the hood of his sweatshirt around his neck and leaning back against the vibrating walls of the train.

Idk if the difference is entirely apparent, but I wanted Charles's narrative to feel very... sensory. What he's seeing, what he's feeling, not so much the traditional way of writing where you're guiding the reader through a true plot.

The Setting

At first, I put serious time into deciding what country they were in, what train they were on, what neighborhood it started and ended in, etc.. However, the more I poked around and considered different ideas (Berlin, New York, London), the more I realized that the story would be hindered by having it in a specific place.

The overall impact of this fic wasn't meant to the plot. It wasn't meant to be a character arc that compelled you, it wasn't meant to even really be about something as fickle as attraction. At it's core, I wanted this to be a story about the very human feeling of wanting to be somewhere else, about missing something that you can't get back and struggling with to accept that time will continue to move on even if you don't want it to.

Tying that to a place almost removed the universality of it, I think. That's why I never alluded to a specific starting station, ending station, route duration, or season. I wanted it to sort of... transcend those things, I guess.

Trains as a Metaphor

I've always really been fond of trains and modes of transport as a metaphor for things like death, purgatory, change, sleep, etc..

In this, I really wanted the train to represented that sort of liminal, purgatory-esque space. I wanted Charles to feel like he was stuck in between something, that he wasn't entirely here or there. In my head, Sebastian was almost a guiding light out of it, directing him away from the place so removed from real life and into somewhere in the present.

I don't want to beat a dead horse, the heavy handed religious imagery did that for me, but I just love the idea of the train being something transformative. Somewhere you go that isn't quite real life, where you can emerge with something you wouldn't have found elsewhere.

What Didn't Fit In

Ok originally, when I still didn't know what I actually wanted this story to BE beside Charles being distraught on a train, I made up entire backstories for him and Sebastian.

Sebastian was meant to be a youngish teacher coming home from a late night at Lewis's house -- they throw grading parties together during finals season, just to make it suck a little bit less :)

Charles owns the bookstore where he saw the little boy. He moved to the city he's in fairly recently, and hasn't really made his own community yet -- he drank alone at the bar that night because he didn't have anyone to call.

Music

FINALLY, in common me fashion, I listened to music on repeat while writing this. Brand New is a band that captures the sort of... empty, aimless feeling that Charles is going through in this story, and I think that the soundtrack really adds a lot!

[eurydicees]

idk how I missed all of ur posts about the hq pacrim au until this morning??? but now that ive been exposed im so excited oh my god (I am Very Normal about both of these things)

anyway what does raptor three look like? is it just a crimson typhoon kinda setup? who works on her? (ik u said hanamaki and matsukawa were jaeger techs but these r big ol bots and I can't imagine those two work on All of them especially when they designed Blue Castle so they know her specifically in and out)

also kuroken k-sci division, pls tell me more about kuroken k-sci division🙏🙏🙏

oh my god SO sorry this took me a hundred years to get to! i got busy and lost track of this au…but it has been reborn in the form of my nanowrimo project LOL. you (and anyone/everyone) should continue to ask me about the pacific rim au please and thank you. so many things have changed since my first posts !!!!! 

also this ask did remind me that kuroken were going to be the scientists, which i had lowkey almost forgotten about when i restarted the fic on april 1, so ty ty ty for that. here’s some more about them and the jaegers under the cut ! 

kuroken: 

first off, they didn’t know each other before coming to work at the shatterdome together! the only people who knew each other before coming together in tokyo were iwaizumi and oikawa, the rest of the haikyuu characters involved have never met before. there will be no explanation for this

kenma was recruited in his first year of university because he was posting his theories and amateur research online and it caught the attention of people with resources who wanted to see if he could find anything if given access to more tech and info than his dorm room gamer setup 

turns out that yes, yes he can find things if given more resources. he’s the one who comes up with the theory about kaiju attack patterns and the increasing rate etc etc 

kuroo, for his part, became a researcher in the science dept after incessantly sending his findings to whoever he could get in contact with, knowing he was On To Something and needed resources to share it

kenma is one of the people he gave his research to (twitter besties!), and kenma invited him to the tokyo shatterdome to work together

turns out that working together is frustrating sometimes but they love nothing more than to constantly annoy each other <3 but they do respect each other’s work even if they don’t always agree on methods or conclusions 

ex. kuroo’s research was founded on samples he got from the black market; kenma’s research is all too theoretical for kuroo; etc etc 

daichi and suga’s jaeger 

so ngl i forgot that asahi was originally a part of this

he is not longer a part of this

rip raptor three

anyways daichi and suga now pilot a mark-3 together called raptor flight. i’m imagining something like saber athena, which is from uprising but who cares. i can do whatever i want 

most important features of raptor-2: fastest model to date, extremely acrobatic/dextrous/agile, equipped with ionic twinblades (she gets two swords <3 ) that can be synced/combined into one stronger weapon (are you seeing the references i am making. are you seeing them), and an n-16 particle charger (plasma cannon thing) 

i’ve decided that asahi is the main tech for raptor-2 (hey he’s still here! yay!). he was also the main designer and tech for daichi and his sister’s jaeger, ursa juliet, before his sister dies and the model is ripped apart 

daichi is on the right in both raptor-2 and ursa juliet; suga is on the left in raptor-2 

iwaoi’s jaeger

blue castle is going to be vaguely modeled after striker eureka 

trivia fun fact of the day: striker eureka was planned to be the main jaeger in the movie until they were like well actually this robot is too cold and arrogant appearing to be the hero robot. this is deeply funny to me and also why it is perfect for blue castle 

blue castle is a mark-2 and was an experimental design by two intern jaeger tech development scientists, hanamaki and matsukawa (who get promoted to active jaeger techs as soon as blue castle is successfully put into use) - as the years go on, this design becomes a pretty common basis to design off of for future models 

most important features: extremely strong, aerodynamic, stable, and agile, equipped with 4.211 brass knuckles (exactly what it sounds like) and assault mount 3.25 sting blades (two swords attached to arms), missile launcher mounted in the chest, and advanced displays in the conn-pod which allow them a 4-way view of their surroundings

also not unexpected, but worth saying: iwaizumi is on the left, oikawa on the right 

jaeger visuals

ok so i wrote all of that out and then i found the pacific rim: uprising jaeger design maker thingy online here and i decided i’m bored enough to do that actually. these aren’t , like, exactly what i’m imagining, so kinda mush together the canon jaeger references with these generated images lol. i’m gonna try so hard to describe them in the fic. we’ll see how that goes. 

anyways, blue castle to the left and raptor-2 on the right! and below is striker eureka to the left and saber athena to the right. anyways i’m having SO much fun with this jaeger generator from 2018 lmfao can you tell 

overall. aaaaaa.

im so excited to be coming back to this. anyways more in my #hq pacrim au tag (though much of that is outdated) or eventually also in my #april nano 2024 tag !!!! and pls pls pls come talk to me about it !!!!!

[amri-and-art]

A short story i might turn into a fic--Your thoughts are welcome in the comments

     “He’s alive, I just know it. I can feel it.” Naia pleaded with Kylan to come with her. 

          “Naia,” He started, sympathetically. “I’m sorry, but Gurjin is dead. We all know he is. He’s been gone for almost a Unum. Leaving the swamp is practically a death sentence, you should know that.” 

              The songteller spoke true, and Naia knew that. Leaving the swamp is dangerous, but he wasn’t right about her brother. That much she was sure of. 

   “Even if he lives, I cannot come with you. I have to take care of my family. I stand by my word.”

           Naia groaned. 

       She stood, “I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.” She scooped up her young daughter and left the small tree house Kylan had called home. She pushed through thick vines and brush until she entered her home through a window. 

        “Naia! Did you find someone to come with you?” He asked excitedly. “No.” She spoke softly, setting her daughter on the moss covered floor to play with her siblings, leaving Naia and Amri to talk. His ears flattened. 

          “I cannot let you go alone. It isn’t safe.” 

                  “I know. That is why I must do it alone.” 

       He shook his head. 

              “Naia Please. Do not stay for me, for them.” He begged quietly, gesturing to the children that sat playing loudly on the soft floor. She sighed. She pulled her short curls into a bun, tying it at the back of her head. “I need some air, I’ll go get dinner.”

      Amri watched as Naia disappeared from the same window she came in through. He leaned against the kitchen counter behind him. The small house was just big enough for the six of them, and he liked it that way. 

         “Father! You’ll never believe what I found!” Amris oldest son pushed through the front door, a giant beaming smile spread across his face. 

      “Really?” He asked.

   “Yes! Look!” Amri wiped his hands on a nearby towel and tossed it on the counter. His brow scrunched when he saw what Kaapa pulled out of his bag. A Muski. It was tiny, and flew straight out of the bag and into Amris hair. 

           “How?” 

              “I don’t know! It’s completely undarkened!”

        Amri pulled it away from him gently to look at it. Its black inky eyes were full of innocence and youth, not a speck of purple tainted them. It chirped and wrapped itself around Amris hand. 

    Moments later Naia returned with a pack full of Sogberries, and soon Amri was sinking his sharp grottan teeth into the sweet pink fruit. 

        Kaapa talked all about his findings that day, and his parents warned him not to stray far. It reminded Amri of when he was a childling, and snuck out of the caves at night to find ingredients for his experiments. 

It was hard to find joy given their situation, but reminiscing on past memories, and dreaming of the future was one way to do it. 

           After the Garthm were released from the Castle of the Crystal, many Gelfing were killed, nearly all of them in what seemed to be no time at all. As a result, many childlings were orphaned, and were taken in by anyone willing to care for them. Amri remembered the day like it had been only a night ago.

    The first children to be found, Kaapa and Hakira were much younger when they had been brought to Naia and Amri. They had two of their own children only a few Trine later. But he loved his own children just as much as the other, and often forgot the eldest two were not his, but was just as often reminded by Kaapas long Spritan ears, and Hakiras Vapran wings  

    When the topic arose of them being adopted, Amri always tells them yes, they are not his, but a gift from Thra, as all children are. 

    That night, after all was still, and her children were asleep, Naia climbed through the trees, all the way to the top. She laid on the large branches of the Apeknots and stared at the stars. 

   She felt dizzy after a while. There were so many of them, all so different and unique. 

It hurt her brain when she thought about how vast the heavens were, and even Augura didn’t know how many stars just gelfling eyes could see, perhaps too many to count. 

    She thought maybe, somewhere out there, there was a place. Another planet like Thra, without Skeksis, and without fear. Without death, and without pain. 

          It was a silly thought, and she knew that, but she let it entertain her mind for a while before she crept back into her hammock and fell asleep.

[memento-magicae]

FFXIVWrite2023: Prompt #5 - Barbarous

Warnings for: Medical Experimentation

Tsimh forces her heavy eyelids open. Her arms ached with the wounds of battle, marked with bloodied lines and exerted muscles. Her grogginess is replaced by icy dread almost instantly, when she feels a strange softness cushioning her. The last thing she remembered was falling upon the hard forest floor of the North Shroud.

She tries to move her arms, but they barely get past her sides, bumping into what seemed like restraints. Raising her head, she sees thick straps tying her down to a bed. Before her, a small room comes into view. Near the tiny door is a Keeper woman dressed in city-looking clothes, a long black dress and a white apron, much unlike Tsimh’s leathers and rugged cloth. She screams hoarsely.

“Where am I? Who are you!” The woman raises her ear, and turns to Tsimh. “Good evening, I see you’re awake.” “What have you done to the rest?”

“Some of them couldn’t be saved, unfortunately. There’s a couple that we took in however, they’re being monitored at the moment.” The lady in black walks over to Tsimh’s bedside with composed steps. “What’s your name?”

Tsimh spits. The lady takes a tiny step back, but no shock or anger registers on her placid expression. She feels the droplets fall back on her face.

“Fuck you Zhyur witch. You killed my sisters.”

“You came to burn our homes and kill our families, like what happened in Snakemolt. We had to protect ourselves.”

“Protect yourselves? As if taking our lands is to protect yourselves!” Tsimh growls. Her restraints refuse to give way.

“Your clan’s excessive poaching has earned the ire of the Elementals. We did warn you, but you showered our emissary with arrows. I believe you called her a… ‘filthy Gridanian bootlicker’?”

“Ain’t that what you are, the whole lot of you!” She sees the lady in black bend down, channeling a beam of light from her hand. The pain in her arms dissipates, her wounds closing shut. “If you’re gonna kill me, do it now!” “That’s barbaric. Killing without a care isn’t anything good.” She sees Tsimh open her mouth to clamp down on her tongue, and promptly recites an incantation under her breath. Her captive feels her jaw freeze in place. The muscles in her face cranked her mouth open, in complete mutiny against her own will.

“My own sister was killed in a raid led by your kind, but she always wanted to save lives rather than take them.” The black-dressed Keeper fetches a glass bottle from a small wooden cart near the door. Tsimh could smell a metallic tang emanating as the cap was unscrewed. “She believes that violent temperaments are a sickness of the mind. We’ve been working on medicines to help with that.”

She returns to Tsimh’s bedside, unrolling a long, curled tube, her expression slackened into a half-smile. “I want to cure you. Cooperating with me will be better than dying in vain.” 

There was no way to scream when the tube slid down her gullet, or when the serum was fed through the funnel attached on the other end. Somehow it reminded her of the moonshine her spear sisters used to brew back home, where a cup too much melted boozy joy and drunken rage and tears into a dulled, viscous hangover. All the old aches from worn muscle and torn bone vanished. The new pains from tubes and needles were numbed. One day when she forgot about the poached leathers and spear she once had. 

“You look better than yesterday, I’m happy to see you’re not in pain,” the Keeper nurse in black said with a tender smile. 

If only she could remember her name. There were so many of them. Which one was she again?

[no-droids]

Home

gif credit: @javier-pena

Part Eighteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 19.5K

Warnings: SMUT, religion kink (maybe?), squirting, consensual stalking/pursuing, canon-typical violence, mention of underage drinking, uhh I believe that’s it but as always, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything please!

A/N: Hey yall!!!  So I know this chapter has been a long time coming and though I’m not completely satisfied with it, I hope it brings a little happiness to you for an hour or two while you read!  School has been kicking my ass and I’ve been in a bit of an emotional slump recently, but I pulled a few all-nighters to post this on time and it’s finally finished!  Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and sent me encouraging words over the past month or so, I hope you enjoy the end of the Sanctuary arc💕

Also like last time, part 2 of my collaboration with @followwhereshegoes will be posted after the chapter!!  As a reminder, sweet girl is a reader insert and every imagining of her will be different—this is Lisa’s interpretation of her and her artwork is absolutely gorgeous, so please go give her a follow!

Day 5–11:13am:

You zone out again in the early morning, but that happens a lot.  Din always keeps you up so late, all the time, and without any caf here, the rising sun just makes your eyes droop instead of flutter brighter and wider.  You helped a bunch of younglings find their way into their robes when it was still dark out, tying sashes and fitting masks while holding back your yawns.  The walk into Nariss is close to three hours, probably more with all these tiny little legs, and you almost forget to change into your new digs before everyone grabs breakfast.

Even though your ragtag entourage leaves for Nariss just as soon as everyone finishes eating, you don’t reach the city until nearly lunchtime.  Mostly because the kids walk about as fast as the elderly holy women chaperoning the trip.  You and Naydee lag behind the group, forcing yourself to meander slow as fuck when you nearly sprinted this same exact path just a few days ago.  On the way there, you listen to children of all sorts sing happily as they walk, chatter about their excitement for the parade, complain about wearing the fabric mask they made themselves, and more than once, somebody takes a tumble onto the ground and is left in teary sniffles and dirt stained clothes.  Likely for this reason, the robes are designed to be two pieces—a long tunic with a hood and a separate pants portion to prevent tripping instead of a draping skirt, but the smallest ones are clumsy and find a way to fall anyways.

It’s a colorful bunch—a chaotic rainbow of babies running around, and you share easy conversation with your new friend about the plans for the day until she asks something that makes you nearly trip and join the dirty robe club.

“Sister Drya said your family is meeting you in the city,” she tells you, ignoring your immediate subtle toe stub and the awkward shuffle you have to do to make up for it.  “There’s going to be lots of people downtown, I’m worried it might be hard for them to find you.”

Your heart thuds in your chest and you feel a bit short of breath at being abruptly confronted with the need to lie, but at the same time, you kind of love it.  Having a secret, hiding the truth from others, and just the reminder that you’re almost guaranteed to see Din and the baby before midnight pours warmth and tingles through your tummy.  Everything together is a hit of spice, filling you with a kind of excitement that used to be foreign to you.  Having fun, experiencing new things isn’t quite over yet, but home is calling and you miss it with every fiber of your being.

“I don’t think so,” you eventually respond, hoping she can see your kind smile and the sentiment it carries even as light, shimmery fabric wraps right around your mouth.  “If I disappear, you’ll know why.”

Naydee’s eyes crinkle in the corners to match yours.  “Hopefully you’ll be able to see the fireworks first,” she nudges you, her skin glowing against the pale cream fabric she has wrapped around her own mouth and the hood laying delicately over her braids.  “They start at eight.”

The fireworks, you almost forgot.  You know what?  Today is a good day.  You hear yourself think the full sentence multiple times, and the words put a spring in your step after every single one.  The road gradually becomes wider and filled with more travelers, and you feel safe in the back.  Like some kind of sheepdog bringing up the rear of this migrating cluster of children, making sure none of them drift off by themselves and start eating grass or something.

Surprisingly, the kids manage to be relatively patient and well-behaved once they’re in line at the gates.  The Sisters shuffle them along one by one as everyone moves up slowly, taking even longer to get into the city than it did a few days ago.  The entrance is packed already—so many people visiting for the festival, and they’re all dressed in costumes or robes of sorts, or at least a mask.  Most are beautifully crafted, but some manage to look slightly scary even with the soft springtime color schemes.  It’s a completely different world, a different life for each person as you pass them by.  Your stomach is starting to growl by the time you finally make it to the front, and luckily the guards just let the kids through without any ceremony.  Just you and the rest of the caretakers in light robes need to hold still for the retinal scan, matching each other perfectly except for differing shades of fabric, skin, and eye color.  Once the gates open for you and you step through, though… it’s… Maker.

Extravagant, magnificent are both words.  Floral is another.

It’s like they hung up bouquets wherever they could think to fit them, and this is just the edge of the city.  As the group moves through the streets and closer to downtown, it becomes more and more overwhelming.  The air itself is a warm fragrance wafting all around you, sunshiney and breezy and perfect, flowers of all kinds lining the modern buildings and archways like they were planted there from the very beginning and it just took this long to bloom between the cracks in the concrete.  You wish you had names for all of them so you could list them—the only thing you can offer is the color and vague descriptions of the ones that stick out to you.  Tiny yellow ones that are so small, they need to be bunched all together in massive quantities to even resemble normal flowers.  Up overhead, elaborate arrangements of enormous blue and purple and pink ones, wrapping around each other and hanging down from rooftops.  Some don’t even have petals, it’s like they’re big green cups that are big enough to hold things inside them.  You’re fascinated by every single one, wanting to stop and smell them all individually but needing to keep up with the large group and not allow any stragglers to be left behind, including yourself.

About an hour later, when you’re almost in the middle of the city and there are people everywhere, it’s time to eat lunch.  There isn’t much to it because of how expensive it is, and you’d normally feel bad for accepting the small meal each one of the children gets, but you donated all of your credits to the Keja and left absolutely zero for yourself.  Good intentions, terrible idea.  Still, you pull your mask down and snack on some deliciously fried food, trying not to eye anyone else’s platter after you finish yours.  It’s so good and it’s gone in an instant; you couldn’t even say what exactly it was besides which stall you got it at.  Whether it’s just the brilliant atmosphere or if the food on this moon is really just that good, you’re not really sure, but you’re still slightly hungry afterwards with no extra money to sneak a snack.

Soon after, the kids all line up to get their faces painted, or whatever portion of their face is visible behind the cloth masks and hoods they’ve got on, and music blares from at least four different directions and none of the songs are even in the same language.  Depending on the part of town, it seems like the celebrations are all different.  It makes sense, considering most if not all of these individuals were victims of the Empire’s wrath, spread far and wide across the galaxy.  Here, they’re free, and they want everyone to know it.  Spring festivals of some sort are likely common for most cultures, at least those from planets with seasons, not like Arvala-7 where it was arid and hot year-round, and you’re assuming there are multiple things being celebrated today depending on which street you live on.  There’s chanting in different tongues, dancing and drums, outfits and masks from different cultures every single time you look.

At some point, the children spot a crowded street with flowery rails set up all along them, and you stand behind the tiny heads while everyone waits for the parade to begin.  You think your heart has just been beating slightly faster than normal all day today, but when you finally hear the sound of sirens blaring in the distance and cheers begin to pour out from the gathered crowd, it kicks up and you feel like you’re just as wide eyed at the spectacle as the waist-high babies all huddled together up against the railing.

A flurry of people and things pass in slow succession.  First, New Republic officers with their blaring holobikes, bright orange as always.  Then come large groups of people walking behind banners in languages you can’t read, some of them waving, some of them making different sounds and songs.  Bands marching in formation, dancers in dresses and masks and gorgeous flowers in their hair like crowns, and then brilliant hovering vehicles decorated in bright colors and festive depictions.  The craftsmanship and cultural significance is stunning to witness, it’s so insanely loud, there’s so much going on, and yet…

Through it all, you think of Din.  No matter the faces, the sights you see.  There’s someone juggling.  There’s either a very tall man and woman walking together or they’re both on stilts.  There are enormous balloons being led through the air, people are riding atop an assortment of animals you’ve never seen before, there are traditional costumes and spectacular stunts being performed.  Stalls with games and prizes line the stretches of concrete on the cross streets, people are laughing and celebrating and drinking in equal parts, everything is so lively and festive and fun, and yet, though it all, you think of Din.  Him and the baby, they’re always in the forefront of your mind, occupying your thoughts and making your tummy stir more and more as the time passes like the parade in front of you.  You don’t think this environment would ever be his favorite, and in some far away galaxy, perhaps if you lived other lives together and called a beautiful moon exactly like this home, then you might have to drag him out to see all the with you and the kid every year.  You’d have to bat your eyelashes and kiss his cheek and snuggle up to him all nice and pretty like, and he’d probably grumble and complain about it while wrapping his arms around you—all the people and the noise, sweet girl—but he’d go.  For you, he’d go.

Your thoughts suddenly stop short and you blink for a second.  Why… Why was that scene so vivid?  So wistful?  You used to preoccupy yourself with fantasies about Din all the time, back before you even knew him as Din.  But in every single one, it was sexual and likely came from a place of boredom, a lack of external stimulation.  Here you are amidst bustling surroundings, and you’re daydreaming about domesticity with him.  Why?  You want to travel the galaxy, right?  You want to see things you’ve never seen before, right?

For some reason, you think of the floor, and you miss it.

***

Day 5—5:04pm:

It’s late afternoon at this point and nobody can find the teens.

More people have made their way into the city and it’s starting to get extremely fucking crowded, especially where you are downtown, and the handful of them must’ve slipped away with all the excitement happening and how difficult it is to keep the young ones together now that the parade is over.  You don’t know how long they’ve been gone—one second they were walking around just slightly detached from the rest of you, you assumed because the boisterous younglings fucked with their cool vibe, and then the next Naydee is gasping out to you that they’re gone.

“Sister Drya is going to kill me,” she hisses, her dark eyebrows furrowed in self-admonishment and stress.  So many fucking people here, you know her pain.  “I was supposed to be chaperoning them, they were just here—”

She shakes her head under the loose, cream-colored hood, groaning and then speeding up her gait to catch up with the woman in charge, but you decide to grab her wrist before she can relay the bad news.  

“I can go find them,” you offer, speaking as low as you can with the blaring noise surrounding you.  “Before anyone knows they’re missing.  Is there a way to convince everybody to stay in one spot for a little while?  You won’t get in trouble, but I need to know how to find you again.”

Naydee’s eyes widen in surprise, and even though it’s likely a bit out of character for you, you have a feeling it’ll be a deceptively easy task.  Even with the masses right now and how atrociously big this city is, you already have a general idea of where they’re likely to be.  Besides, you’re not even sure your absence will be noticed if Naydee is the only one who figured out the teens were gone—the other Sisters can thrive without you while missing anyone else would be noticeable, and you owe your new friend a thousand favors for helping you out these past few days.  The least you can do is save her from the scolding of one of the scariest old ladies you've ever met.

“Be as quick as you can,” she finally agrees.  It’s a lot of trust to put into you, but you’ve had experience in reading the most unreadable man in the entire galaxy, some teenagers shouldn’t pose too much of a problem.  “If you’re not back in thirty minutes or somebody notices, I’ll have to say something.”

You nod, silently breaking away from the group without another word.  You think you can hear her announce to everyone that it might be best to eat dinner now to skip any long lines later—smart—but you’re out of their hearing range and line of sight almost immediately.

***

Day 5–5:17pm:

“Really?”  You raise an eyebrow since they won’t be able to see the way your mouth is twisted up underneath your mask, crossing your arms and tapping your foot against the ground to further illustrate just how not fucking impressed you are.

Seven teenagers freeze, and slowly—depending on how much bravery they can individually muster—they turn around on their stools to face you.  The atmosphere in the tavern is bustling and cheery, booze being passed around a large crowd that laughs and mingles, but your vibe is stone cold and quiet.  The contrast doesn’t feel wrong on you like it normally would; the negative and disapproving energy you’re emitting makes you feel powerful, untouchable, armored and strong.

“How did you find us so fast?”  One of the twin boys squeaks out behind a light blue robe, sounding worried.

“Had a hunch,” you grumble, glaring sternly at each of them in turn.  Your tone is dry, your voice sits lower in your throat when you’re pissed off.  All you had to do was look for the closest bar that doesn’t have any orange jumpsuits poking around waiting to card underage younglings, it wasn’t that difficult.  “You’re not exactly unpredictable.”

“Are you gonna rat us out?”  The other twin asks you, in a voice that’s oddly deep compared to his brother.

“I should,” you snap, quickly reaching out to push their drinks away.  “I should let Sister Drya rain down her holy fury on your asses, got good people all twisted up over you for nothing and I’m missing dinn—”

You don’t know why, but you suddenly cut yourself off and jerk upright, spinning around.

The sounds of glasses clinking and boisterous voices fill the bar, but they seem to fade out for a second.  Your eyes fly around the crowded space, your heart lodged in your throat and looking for anything reflective.  Every flash you see is a false alarm—belt buckle, wristwatch, cocktail shaker—

He’s here… isn’t he?

Only, there’s nothing.  Nothing is out of place, nothing jumps out at you the way you’re assuming it will.  You’re braced taut and ready to bolt at the first sign of a chase, but it never comes.

It’s so… unexpected, this feeling.  It’s not like you’re being hunted anymore, but instead, you’re the hunter.  You’re feeling the weight of him from this far away and it’s like he’s calling for you to come find him, teasing the wild adrenaline rush you get from just feeling his presence, as if he absolutely knows it happens.  Whispering soft in your ear and then vanishing the second you’re able to turn around, like he’s here but he’s not.  Playing with you from so far away.

This… this is a taunt.  

The whole thing at the inn was leagues below this, that was rudimentary.  Teasing, getting even, having fun with each other, whatever you want to call that, that’s what it was.  This is scarily sophisticated.  Fluid and practiced and the best kind of frightening, stark and dangerous compared to the carefree and upbeat setting surrounding you.  You’re not making it up, it’s not just you being paranoid.  You know him with your eyes closed.  You know he’s here somewhere watching you, just like you know the starlight that streaks across the pitch black horizon of hyperspace.  Not because you can see it, not really, not directly.  But because by it, even in the vastest and darkest and emptiest of voids, you’re suddenly able to see everything else.

“You okay, Nerida?”

The volume gradually comes back up and you blink, suddenly remembering where you are, who else is with you.  The chatter becomes slightly louder than it seemed before.

“Yeah,” you eventually say, slightly airy while continuing to stare emptily at the crowded room.  He’s not here, you don’t think, not anymore at least.  But you’re not stupid, you know what this means.  You’re already caught, there’s nothing you can conceivably do that will delay the reunion for the next—you look down and pull the loose sleeve up to check your communicator—seven fucking hours, there’s no way.  He’ll pull back and follow you, keep up with you from a distance and then snatch you away right when you let your guard down.  You at least need to get the kids back to their guardians before that can happen, though.

“Let’s go,” you quietly tell the group of foundlings, grabbing elbows and hauling them out of their stools.  “Naydee was the only one who knew that you were gone when I left.  Here’s to hoping she managed to keep it that way.”

***

Day 5–5:32pm:

Against all odds, you’re able to rally the wayward teens and successfully lead them through shoulders that are beginning to move closer together as the crowd grows and grows.  You stay towards the back and don’t look behind you once—not only do you not want to give the younglings an unnecessary reason to become paranoid or to question your actions, but you can still feel Din lingering.  Moving like a shadow, probably fitting in perfectly with the masked festival-goers, nothing drawing any attention to him with all the spectacular sights and noise occurring.

Soon you return to the same spot from before, and you and the teenagers seamlessly integrate yourselves back into the rest of the group without anyone noticing a thing is out of place.  When you move to stand beside her, Naydee’s bone-deep sigh of relief is palpable even behind the concealing fabric; she squeezes your hand incredibly tight in a silent gesture of thanks, and then pulls something from the deep pockets of her robe and passes it to you sneakily.  A purple fruit.  She must’ve saved it for you.

Maker, fuck yes.  It’s not much but it’s more dinner than any of the seven troublemakers get, but Naydee quietly assures you they’ll be able to eat something once they return to the Keja around midnight, just not the tasty expensive treats they’re selling at the vendors.  As the sun goes down, you try not to stain your pretty fabric a deep maroon as you chomp and feel your lips start to curl upwards.  It sounds so fucking stupid when you put it like this, but you keep going back to Din and revelling in knowing that he’s so close, like you’re just mentally checking in on him.  You don’t get the sensation by thinking, though—more like you just focus really hard on your heart and feel him there just a second afterwards.

Is that how pure, stupid, shameless love feels when you’re completely entrenched in it?  It’s not like it’s surrounding you, it’s not suffocating you or making you float.  It’s just a thing.  Like… a thing inside your chest, a physical thing you can search for and find, something you can point to on your body and say it’s right here, this is where my love for him lives.  Right at the bottom of your heart, right where it curves and beats strong when other hearts meet flat at sharp angles.  You do it over and over again, reconfirming its existence every single time.  You don’t know what else you’d call it.  Love is the only word.  To love, to know.  To hold in the heart.

Soon, you start to notice that people are slowly moving around your stationary group.  You look up and watch the crowd begin to walk, some of them giving soft smiles to the cute children as they pass by, but all of them following the same unspoken direction.

“Where is everyone going?”  You ask Naydee, standing on your tiptoes to watch the crowd migrate like a giant system, an organism or mechanism of thousands (or tens of thousands?) of smaller moving parts all traveling in tandem.  It’s fascinating—you’ve been to crowded places, you know what it looks like when a lot of people are packed into one area, but you’ve never seen what it looks like when they all move together.  They would normally be bumping into each other, slipping in between, fighting and never really getting anywhere, interacting individually and thinking separately.  Now they’re progressing in one single direction, so many with the same mindset and understanding of what comes next.  A second parade, almost, with New Republic officers directing the flow of pedestrians as they pass.

“The eastern part of the city!”  Naydee yells over the noise and points, and beyond her extended finger, you can barely see the light of a dusky body of water in the distance beyond the buildings.  “The fireworks are going to go off over the bay, but it takes awhile to get there!”

“Is…”  You blink for a second, suddenly caught off guard, trying to think back to the holomap the concierge pulled up at the front desk of the inn.  Surely you would’ve noticed it, but your sudden childlike hope makes you ask anyway.  “Is it part of an ocean?”

Naydee shakes her head.  “A really big lake!”

Your shoulders drop just the slightest bit in disappointment but still, you ache to see it.  You can’t even imagine—the fireworks are likely going to reflect across the water, giving everyone double the view.  And luckily, after all the children and caretakers are individually accounted for, you start to behind the slow-moving crowd towards the docks you know lie beyond.  

Naydee scurries ahead to keep the kids together, ushering them forward and preventing any drunk passer-bys from accidentally stepping on them, and you quietly bring up the very rear of the entourage.  You take the time to observe more than anything, walk in the back and experience instead of trailblaze.  So many people, so many stories to be told, so many differences and diversity around you.  Your face is partially concealed and you don’t move your head too much, just your eyes.  They flick around to take in everything, the crowd thinning little by little as you make it out of the confined space downtown.  You’re able to make out full bodies and outfits again instead of just heads and shoulders, allowing you to breathe just a bit easier under your mask.

And then at one point—and it’s almost a little startling because it happens all at once—the organizers must decide that the sun has officially gone down, because the lights come on.  All of a sudden, paper lanterns and bulbs flicker into existence all around you and the world decides it wants to glow, glint and twinkle from the inside out.  They’re everywhere, draping across rooftops and tangled around street signs and stuffed into the flower bouquets overhead, raining soft colors down on everything.  You’re in complete awe, trying to keep walking but also needing to look at as much as fucking possible in the suddenly luminescent city.  It’s so colorful, so vernal and warm and you feel like you’re… Like when you took a shower on the Crest for the first time and spent a few happy moments just playing with the water and soap for your own enjoyment, it’s as if all the brilliant rainbow of colors the bubbles would make under the fluorescent light decided to surround you at the same time.  You’re inside stained glass, blinking at the flowers and wondering if Din can even smell the air or if it’s filtered, processed and reduced to nothing under the helmet.

And that’s when you see him.

But with the way your chest rapidly constricts and you can count your heart beats as they pound, blaring white noise through your ears and adrenaline through your veins, it’s like he's just allowing it to happen.  You immediately understand that you don’t have fucking anything the second your eyes land on him; this isn’t a heads up that you caught wind of early, it’s not a gift or an advantage you’ve incidentally gained over him that you should be thankful for.  Being able to see him directly like this, being able to make out all these fucking details from this far away…  This just feels like you’re being informed of the endgame right before it comes.  If you were anyone else, if you were a real bounty and this was a real hunt, his armor glinting and reflecting the lanterns overhead would feel like a knife you're about to be on the wrong side of.

You have a decision to make, very quickly.  Either keep in this same direction, head straight towards him and just pretend like you are who you’re dressed as, a random caretaker for a bunch of rowdy foundlings during a spring festival on Nariss, or disappear.  Drop back, move through the crowd and use the distance you have between you right now as your only hope of getting away in time.  Neither one gives you a particular advantage—your chances of being caught have already skyrocketed exponentially just being able to see the reflection in his armor, the hovering shield at his side with big black eyes… staring directly at you.

You almost trip over your pantlegs, gasping.  Baby.  He beams at you and you think he calls out through the passing crowd, his tiny arms extending out, and your chest feels like you’re pulling organs as if they were muscles, cramping up and seizing with emotion.  You want to run to them even though you’re meant to be running from them, call out over the noise and wave even though you’re not supposed to.  You want to hold the kid again, squish his little forehead with kisses, walk around with Din’s hand pressed against your lower back and see the fireworks with him.

Your hands clutch at the draping fabric covering your chest, pulling and twisting it uncertainly.  What do you do, what do you do?

No matter what, you know it’s over.  Keep your head down and try to move past him, or break away from your group and try to escape—both are different paths that lead to the same result.  What’s the point of running when he’s the one chasing you?  The heart-pounding thrill is the only reason you’re even considering it, but his body stands so tall amongst the crowd, not moving while people ebb and flow like a river passing around him.

Except then you can hear his voice repeat the last thing he said to you in person as if he says it directly into the comm in your ear.  When you do see me… try to outrun.

You should run—run, it’s better than just hoping he doesn’t see you when you already know he does.

Unless…

Out of a trillion different possibilities, you soon realize that there is exactly one situation in which this could turn out in your favor.  You can immediately picture the scenario in your mind, but there’s just too many variables to conceivably rely on getting them all right.  This maybe has a… two percent chance of working?  Maybe?  Everything would have to go perfectly, just fucking flawlessly, but what other choice do you have?  Two percent is better than whatever odds you’re dealing with now.

You walk silently behind the group of foundlings as you approach closer and closer, keeping your head purposefully down as they skip and giggle and dance ahead.  He knows you’re here—he has to know, you’re counting on him knowing.  Walk right in front of him, pretend like you don’t see, make sure you keep left.  Keep left, keep left, keep your head down, keep your head down—

A leather glove suddenly catches hold of your wrist hard enough to tug you backwards.

Your gasp is audible over the sound of the crowd and you spin around, jerking your head up to look at him in fear.  Your heart slams as the beskar reflects your mask and hood back at you—you’re terrified and it shows, you can see it in your eyes.

You quickly try to yank your hand away, even as your index finger stretches up towards the communicator around his wrist.

“Miss Nerida?”  A child’s voice cries, and then small hands grab at you from behind as you bury the urge to actually fight him.  Your instincts are demanding you attack when his grip is this strong, but you just whine and struggle, slapping weakly at him with your free hand and feeling more of the younglings begin to pull at you, their high pitched voices calling more and more attention to the scene.

Your gaze flicks to the side, suddenly landing on a pair of New Republic officers helping direct the thousands of moving bodies from the closest street corner.  They’re looking at you, pointing and beginning to speak into their own comm units.  Din’s helmet snaps sideways to follow your gaze, and then he’s immediately dropping your wrist and stepping back, retreating as quickly as he caught you.  Though you don’t want to—though you don’t want to give yourself away even more, you want to pretend fully that he was a complete stranger and the children were right to try to help you get away—your eyes fall to your son in the hovering crib by his side and you feel yourself crumble just a bit.

Just a few more hours, kid.  A few more hours.

Children pull you away while your pursuers both disappear into the crowd, and you quickly turn to soothe the tiny babies instead of chasing after the one you miss so terribly.

“I’m alright,” you tell them, scooting them up and encouraging them to continue walking.  Blend in, blend in, don’t let anybody think anything is wrong.  “Come on, we’re fine, come on, we have to catch up.”

They take your lead as soon as one of the caretakers turns around and sees the small group crowding around you.  You think she asks what happened, but you just tell her a man mistook you for someone else and nothing more comes of it.  She’s able to settle the chaos better than you are, and by the time you’re continuing to travel forwards once more like nothing happened, the communicator suddenly flicks on in your ear.

“What did you do?”  He breathes out, his footsteps moving fast through his voice.  He’s traveling much quicker than you expected—is he still being followed?  The officers are gone from your sight, they might be going after him right now, weaving between bodies and calling out to the perpetually vanishing glint of armor as he navigates his way out of danger.

You look down at the comm on your wrist and your heart nearly soars with victory.  It worked.  It worked.  You just have to outlast a bit longer, don’t draw any extra attention to it—he’s preoccupied and he certainly doesn’t sound happy, but you hope that’ll be enough to make him slip.  Use his frustration to your advantage, let him think the only thing you were successful at was momentarily escaping him.

“The cops weren’t part of the plan,” you admit quietly, keeping your head down as your loose hood billows in the twilight breeze.  “Don’t get caught.”

There’s a few moments of just his breathing, his footsteps, and the noise floor humming through the comm, before he finally responds.  “You look beautiful.”

You stare unseeingly down at the concrete under your feet, still feeling your hand tingle from where he caught you.  The line abruptly mutes on his end and you just keep moving forward, onward, wanting to look back but knowing he’s already long gone.

***

Day 5–5:24pm:

Din is fucking furious.

He had you.  You were right there, right in front of him, and even if he hadn’t been subtly trailing you all day, seeing the red footsteps get covered and flicker out of existence just a few moments after you make them, he would’ve recognized you anywhere.  In black and white, in the fading light, with your face covered, children calling you by a different name and attaching themselves to you like they’ve known you forever—doesn’t matter, he would’ve known you.  Your eyes have always given you away, always so expressive and starry and soft, but able to see right through solid steel whenever you look at him.

But then you slipped from his grasp, and then more guards pushed him further and further away from you.  They must all be in constant communication, because every single jumpsuit he sees immediately spots him and starts following.  It’s fucking exhausting, and he thinks of you the whole time.

He waits in a dark alley with the kid and taps the side of the helmet a few times to bring up the time on his comm, but then relaxes just slightly when he sees the hour.  It’s earlier than he thought it was, he’ll be able to find you again.

Though, something tugs at him while he’s looking at the clock ticking away in front of his eyes, counting down each second that passes.  There was… a moment.  Back in the square, when he was holding onto you again, when you were looking directly into his once more—everything in his helmet— 

No, he shakes his head while the kid looks up at him curiously, it can’t be.  It was just a split second, it was gone so fast.

But he can’t get rid of it.  Though there’s no explanation, he thinks the display screen flickered.  The sky behind you looked different for a single frame, your footsteps weren’t bright red and visible anymore, your eyes weren’t grey and he stopped wondering what shade of fabric you and your friend decided to choose for you to wear.  It was silvery, he’s almost certain.  Like his armor, it only reflected the color of everything around it.

Color.  Everywhere.  Bursting for a blink of an eye, and then gone just as quick, before he could actually figure out what it really meant.

***

Day 5–6:59pm:

This water is quiet here, but it sparkles.

It doesn’t ever really get truly dark thanks to the enormous hanging moon and ringed gas giant dancing with Sanctuary II, constantly reflecting light back onto the surface and reacting with some of the trace chemicals up above the atmosphere, and you think the sky just might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen it.  Must have something to do with the equinox, the glimmering angles of light being played with by celestial bodies in this stunning system, but it’s a dream.  The Maker apparently couldn’t decide which colors he wanted tonight so he just splashed all of them together all at once, let them run and blend like ink in the gentle water below, like the various people who call this moon home.

That view in front of you, coupled with all the flowers and lanterns lining the streets behind you, and you’ve lost track of time the exact same way you hoped Din would.  You think you’ve stood for about an hour or so in this one spot, half-listening to excited chatter from the babies, mostly just gazing across the stretch of water and being able to just barely spot the docks in the distance, but it feels like it’s only been minutes.

You check your watch—the fireworks should be starting any second now.  You don’t know what to expect, just that in your experience, explosions tend to be loud.  You've decided you’re not going to plug your ears, though.  Tummy twisting with nerves and another inexplicable feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, you resolve to experience the unknown exactly the way it’s meant to be.  Fully, without worry or fear.

Then, lacking any warning or ceremony whatsoever, a single flare launches silent and high from one of the small boats skimming the bay, and the crowd seems to hold its collective breath as the dim light disappears into thin air for a split second, before—

It’s… quite possibly the most dazzling thing you think you’ve ever seen.  So shamelessly decorative just for the sake of it, not serving any other practical purpose besides celebration and visual spectacle, and you’ll probably never know another extravagance like it.  You grew up with dust pelting against tired eyes, you never thought they’d get to reflect such gorgeous bursts of color back up at the sky, glassy and childlike amongst a group of equally wide-eyed children.

As expected, a deafening boom follows closely behind the singular display, but just witnessing it is incredible enough to make you forget to brace yourself for the sound and you jump almost violently in response.  There comes a loud cheer from the people standing around you, a few delighted gasps and children who decide now is the best time to start crying, but then more flares begin to launch from the boats and the subsequent show will sear itself into your memory to replay over and over again.

Still, you think the endless sky and dark water below would have to light on fire to stop him from coming to mind.

Din.

You click the comm on, continuing to stare in stunned awe but wanting nothing more than to hear his voice right now, feel his hand rest on your lower back and the kid’s three fingers squeezing one of yours while the stars rain down from above.  You’re only continuing to run from him because it’s expected of you, that’s the reason you’re here, but it’s becoming harder and harder to argue with yourself.  “Do you always see in black and white?”

It takes him just a few seconds to respond, but he always does.  “Only when I’m tracking someone.”

The loud booms can be heard over the earpiece, happening maybe a second after they crack and sparkle above you.  You can’t tell if the latency is due to the electronics or if he’s just that far away from the source of the sound itself, but… you don’t think he is.  He feels close again, like he could just walk up right next to you any second, or maybe that’s just how he always feels now.

“Does that mean you haven’t seen the sky here?”  You ask after a moment.  This whole time, everything has been grey for him?

“I saw it,” Din murmurs, and even though it’s quiet and explosions are thundering loud enough to deafen more sensitive ears, his quiet voice somehow breaks through it all.  “When you left the Crest, I saw it behind you.”

For some reason, you suddenly feel like crying.  Whether it’s the way he phrases it or the sentiment in the words, you’re close to tears without even knowing why, looking up at the sky illuminating spectacularly.  He says it like he wasn’t the one who parked on this moon and told you to go on without him.  “Can you… turn it off for just a second?”

He takes a second, before clarifying for you.  “I turn it off and I lose your footprints.”

So that was the ultimatum.  He doesn’t want to turn it off until you’re back with him again.  Does he not understand?  Does he not know what you know?  Maybe you just happened to feel it first, this overwhelming physical sensation inside you whenever you think about him.  It’s like the exact opposite of a hole in your chest.  And it’s so odd, so counterintuitive.  Being comforted in his absence, feeling him with you when he isn’t.  Falling in love in the dark, knowing him without ever seeing him.

“You never needed them,” you say, reaching up to pull your mask down under your jaw and chin for a moment, wanting to freely breathe the freshwater and flowers while stars explode and fracture across the sky.  It’s a truth you’re acknowledging, something you’ll carry with you, something you fundamentally own at this point.  “You’d find me without the helmet.  And I’d find you.”

The fireworks continue to bleed into the water beneath them, multicolor splashes rippling into existence and disappearing just as quick.  You could’ve never imagined a more colorful, magnificent landscape—besides your waterfall on Naboo, of course.  That was a pure product of nature though, a place hidden away and untouched by people, completely sacred.  Light refracting against mist, natural glass that would shatter under your weight.  This is a celebration of life and family.  Loud in a different way, affecting you in a different way, but just as wonderful and touching.  A cultivated paradise, designed to be beautiful and safe only because they wanted it to be.

“Think so?”  He asks softly.  He sounds so deep and warm, but… a little distant.  You’re able to hear it in his words.  You don’t know why, though.  Doesn’t he believe you?  Perhaps… perhaps this isn’t The Way.  Perhaps this is part of a completely different oath, one where knowing and loving somebody isn’t the same thing as looking at their face, not at all.  Where you can have them exist entirely separate from each other, because this is love.  This is real, enduring, bone-deep love, and you haven’t ever seen his face, so how would he explain that?  How would the Mandalorians reconcile that?  You bear the mark of the mudhorn, you’ve moved through time and space with him, you’re a mother to his son, and you’ve never seen his face.  It defies both the Mandalorian oath and traditional understandings of love, or it meets them right in the middle, depending on how you look at it.

“I know so.”  For the first time, you think you might sound more confident and certain than he does.  Maybe he doesn’t fully get it yet, but then you suppose he’ll just have to trust you.  “Will you look at the sky?”

“I see it,” Din tells you, but you know he doesn’t.  Not the way you want him to.  And stars, you just want so many things for him, don’t you?  The sky, fresh air, water, light, food, rest.  You want him to see the galaxy the way you do—have a new appreciation for the gifts that are given just because you’re alive to experience them.  All the physics and mathematics aligned perfectly for it to happen—all the chemistry, the systems, the dynamics that dictate the universe, they all got together and crafted a world where you, him, and the kid all exist together at the same time.  You want him to know the significance of that.

“With color?”  You ask, knowing his answer before he seems to.

“I…”  Din wants to argue, or at least say it again.  He can’t or he’ll lose you, he already told you he doesn’t want to turn the setting off.  It’s such an unnecessary conflict, but you want to respect it so much that you’re willing to give up things of your own to make it happen.

“How do I fix it then?”  You whisper, so desperately wanting this one thing for him, this one grandeur to behold.  How do you fix this problem?  How do you convince him to look with you?  You’d offer to just go and find him instead of continuing to run away for the next few hours, but you know the show will be over soon and you don’t have much time left.  “Do you want me to come look for you?  It’ll be too late by then, you’re too far away.  Look at the sky.”

It’s silent for a moment—truly silent, even though colorful bombs are going off above the bay.  You don’t know why you’ve attached yourself to this so strongly, but it’s almost devastating when you don’t get a response.  You look away from the spectacle for the first time in an eternity, gazing unseeingly into the crowd of onlookers with a sudden sadness taking hold of you.  He won’t look, he’s too stubborn, he holds onto things too tightly.

But then, a flurry of flares start launching in rapid succession from the distant boats, screaming and crying on their way up and then igniting into showers of light, and the abrupt increase in activity manages to catch your attention once again.  This must be the end, they saved the best for last.  Every corner of the horizon flashes and sparks, and you’re mesmerized at how bright it is, how many colors they’ve managed to fit into one single frame.

“It’s beautiful,” comes his voice, and the smile that you break into feels just right for the brilliance of the view above you.  Maker, it is, isn’t it?  Now you can hear it—he sounds like he’s looking at it too, with color, in all its breathtaking glory, and you feel like you’re flying.  Like he picked you up and let you watch up close, like you can feel his armor under your fingers right now as he carries you through the sky.

It swells up inside you, a rising wave similar to the ones you can see in the distance, and you know you probably shouldn’t say it because it’s not in your best interest to say it right now, but you have to say it anyways.  It’s an unknowable compulsion, a need to connect and communicate directly with him but for your sake, not presently, not at this exact moment in time.

Luckily, you mute your comm just in time and simply give the words to him from very far away.

“Hurry up,” you say, sending the sentiment into the sky with all your love, and the conflicting hope that he won’t take the advice until a bit later on.  “Come and find me.”

***

Day 5–7:37pm:

After the fireworks are over, people start to drift off in separate directions, clearing the traffic and congestion from the streets around you.  Someone puts their hand on your shoulder and you blink a few times, spinning around and almost stepping on a bunch of tiny little feet by accident.

Stars, that’s a lot of children.  They’re all crowded around Naydee, who pats a few heads and almost buckles under the younglings clinging to her leg.

“Figured you would be long gone by now,” she grins at you from behind her mask, and you’re reminded to pull yours up over your face just from looking at her.  “It’s late—we’re going back to the Keja.”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe in surprise, but the noise of the gradually dispersing crowd manages to cover it up.  At least from younger, more easily distracted ears, but you think Naydee hears you.  Her dark eyes roll good-naturedly, looking happy but exhausted from the long day.  You’re going to have to say goodbye now.

“What happened to your family?”  She asks after a moment, and you think she’s being careful with the way she says it, likely because family is a difficult topic to navigate in general around some of the children hanging on her and begging for her attention.  “Have you been in touch with them?  If not, I’m sure you can come back with us.  It’ll be late by the time we get there, but at least you’ll be safe.”

You open your mouth to automatically decline her offer, knowing Din is still in the crowded city looking for you and wanting to stay where there’s lots of people.

But then… well, he would expect you to do that, wouldn’t he?

There’s more people here.  More danger, but better places to hide.  It’s the obvious choice, it’s the one that makes the most logical sense.  But you’d also be completely alone and you’re assuming the only reason he hasn’t snatched you up yet—which you know he could’ve done multiple times by now, is likely because you’re with a group of innocent foundlings, moody teenagers, and very stern older women.  He probably doesn’t realize you’ve told them about him and the kid, though you were slightly vague on the details.

It’s also a little over three hours to get back, but you’re banking on it being closer to four with how whiney and tired some of the small voices sound, others sounding like they’re an enormous sugar rush contained into a tiny little capsule.  Would he have the gall to try and get you right from under their noses?  Will he even know you left the city, or will he assume you made the smartest decision possible and simply account for it ahead of time?  No, you're overthinking it, just make a decision and stick with it.

“There’s also free food,” Naydee shrugs while you’re still considering, but… well, that settles that.  Almost three days of friendship and she already knows exactly how to win you over in the end.  Sustenance for your empty tummy, an escort the entire way there, and heavily guarded walls beyond.  Din will have to get creative in response—you flaunted your imagination for days, coming up with dozens of evasion tactics to outlast him, but this one just seems… incredibly practical.  Exploiting a weakness of his—isolating it, having it be reinforced by precedent, and then taking advantage of it.  You bet he’ll catch on, but still, it’ll make it more difficult for him, and you’re grasping at straws to hang on just a little longer.

“I…”  Quick, come up with something.  You clear your throat.  “The city is too crowded, I haven’t been able to find them.  I could just… tell them where I’m headed and see if they can find me along the way?”

Naydee smiles and nods.  “Sounds perfect.”

Yet, the entire walk back… you keep thinking you’re going to feel Din trailing behind you, waiting to feel the nerves twist in your tummy and your palms to sweat, but you don’t.  You keep glancing over your shoulder and then down at your wrist, needing to talk yourself out of addressing him through the comm to let him know exactly what the plan is.  You like maintaining a sense of secrecy from the new characters you’ve met on your adventures—Naydee, Karga, Peli—almost everyone you’ve been introduced to, you found a way to find a subtle enjoyment in hiding certain things from them.  But with Din, you don’t have any walls.  They crumbled nearly a full year ago when he silently pushed a cauterizer in your hand and took his armor off for you, and you’ve felt the inexplicable need to bare yourself to him in return ever since.  It would be to your extreme detriment to do it now, but you still have to fight the urge.

Even if you don’t feel him following, you still find yourself acting like he is.  Constantly turning back to double check the road behind you, drifting off in the middle of shallow, distant conversations with tiny foundlings who can’t tell the difference, keeping towards the middle of the pack this time to avoid being picked off towards the back.  The belltower at the orphanage is loud and will ring for quite a distance, so your timing has to be utterly pristine for this to all work out.  You eye your comm the entire way there, trying to stall just the right amount to avoid any realizations or fall into any traps he may be setting for you.

You eventually leave the city walls far behind you, and now you have no clue where he is.  You lost him, and maybe that’s why you feel your heart beat insanely fast the whole time.  He could be anywhere now.  Behind you, adjacent, parallel—you can’t decide where to look, but it keeps you wide awake and focused while the group tiredly travels back to the temple.

***

Day 5–11:32pm:

You can see it in the distance, the brick buildings slowly coming into view.  One might think your stress would have worked itself out by now, been brought back to a manageable level after four hours of walking, but you’ve been on red alert for the past hour or so.  Any movement or rustle that doesn’t come from the sleepy children or exhausted caretakers, you’re on top of it, snapping your attention to the offending tree or animal and not being able to relax even after affirming it’s just nature, it’s not shiny metal bounding after you in the darkness, ready to take you down.

The infants are all likely snoozing away in the nursery, and the Sister who volunteered to stay behind and look after them comes to greet the group at the gate as you approach.  Like always, two Brothers open the iron bars to allow you inside, and you feel the anxiety dig its claws into your tummy.  If Din is going to get you, this is the very last moment to do it.  These walls are guarded and you’re nervous for him, you’re nervous for yourself—you’re just fucking nervous.  Jumpy and worried, not being able to pinpoint him anymore and feeling all the more anxious because of it.

It doesn’t feel right.  Nothing feels right about this, but you can’t figure out specifically what’s wrong.  This was the exact plan, this was a way for you to just survive these last few hours and yet, it doesn’t feel right that you actually succeeded in doing so.  It doesn’t make sense that he’d allow you to return all the way here, especially when he was close enough to touch you earlier.  Din has had so much time to snatch you up, so many opportunities to lure you away, confront you—anything to catch you, and he hasn’t done it yet.  Why?  Either you truly did escape and he has no idea where you are, which doesn’t feel right, or he’s choosing not to get you for whatever reason, which also doesn’t feel right.  What’s he waiting for?  You can’t have won.  It was all too fucking easy, you’re expecting to see him around every single corner because he should be there, he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen.

When someone gently touches your elbow, you’re so on edge that you nearly whip around in surprise.

“Sorry!”  Naydee immediately apologizes, taking her hand back to lift her hood and remove the mask covering her face.  “Didn’t mean to scare you!  I was just going to say that the commissary is still open,” she offers, and you watch the small group of hungry teenagers break off from the group to make their way there.  “It’s going to take awhile to get the children ready for bed, so we’ll be in the dormitories if you need to sleep.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll see you again.”

You stare at her and blink a few times, trying to readjust your focus.  She’s your new friend, she just said this was likely the last time you’ll see each other, but you can’t stop thinking about Din.  Imagine he’s hours away in the city right now, still looking for you.  You’re trying to evaluate your priorities here, but you truthfully never expected to get this far.  Inside the gates, surrounded by brick buildings and silent guards.  You know your way around here, you know hiding spots, you know how to outlast—it’s incredibly advantageous for you to be inside these walls.  What is he doing?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you give Naydee a quick hug and she happily accepts it.  “I’m sure we’ll meet again at some point.”

She smiles and nods, pulling back and letting a couple grumpy foundlings catch her robes and yank on them impatiently.  The loud group eventually disappears into the dorms, and the door shutting behind them cuts off the tired crying and chatty voices determined to stay awake, leaving you in silence that feels slightly unfamiliar after going without it for so long.

Fuck, you just need to breathe.  As soon as the dead quiet grips the air around you, you realize you need to relax.  You’re way too fucking wound up; you want to bolt at the smallest thing and the sudden silence of being alone multiplies it to the point where you have to remind yourself of its importance.  Breathe.  Focus.  There’s about fifteen minutes before the bells ring, fifteen more minutes and the chase will be all over.

Can you eat?  You thought you’d want to, but you think you’re too fucking antsy.  You can’t stay here alone, that’s for sure, but you also don’t want to be around all the children right now.  The commissary will have a handful of people wandering around, teens snacking and maybe a Brother or two standing guard.  It’s the best place to wait the clock out, so you make your way there.  The gentle breeze billows around your loose robes, your pantlegs swishing as you walk.

A few minutes later, you’ve got a plate of food in front of you but your mask is still up, and you’re just sitting there.  Towards the back of the large room, sitting by yourself at one of the tables and staring down at your communicator.  Five minutes.  You have five fucking minutes left before he finds you.  Can you feel him?  Is he closing in?

You sit up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath.  Focus on that feeling from earlier.  The presence in your chest, the weight that didn’t used to be there months ago—focus on that feeling and branch it outwards.  Can you feel him?

Something catches your eye.

Or no… it doesn’t, does it?  Nothing is out of place here, nothing is visibly wrong or amiss.  The only thing that’s changed from all the times before is how dark it is through the windows, and how there are only a few kids in here grabbing a midnight snack instead of being packed like usual.  Nothing else.

But there’s… there’s an acolyte in the far corner, standing guard with his back to the wall.  It’s not his presence that gives you pause—you expected him to be here, there’s always been at least one present whenever you’ve sat down to eat.  He doesn’t look any different from the rest of the Brothers you’ve passed by this evening or the days before—tall, silent, dark brown robes, hooded and mysterious—so why do you suddenly feel yourself break out into a cold sweat as soon as your eyes land on him?

Bubbling laughter and chatter echoes through the large room from one of the tables near the entrance—seven teenagers stuffing their faces with food and sharing animated conversation with each other now that it’s late and they’re alone—but your stomach twists and your fingers start to tremble as you slowly rise from your seat in the back.  You want to keep your head down and be casual but it’s impossible, you desperately need to keep looking at that silent guard in particular and your heart kicks up in your chest—

—and then it wrenches sideways when you’re carefully backing away from the table and the offending acolyte takes a single step forwards.

Run.  Everything in you screams for you to run, and it’s rarely done that before, but you can’t.  Not yet, you don’t want to draw attention, and the logical part of your mind rages against your gut instinct to haul ass.  He’s here—of course he is, the thought screams through your veins as you try to weave quickly in between tables, feeling light on your toes and readying yourself to run as soon as you can.  The dark figure seems to find a careful pace behind you, staying just far enough behind and walking in perfect silence, and you have so many fucking questions but you can’t even think a single thing beyond run away, run away.  Where’s the kid?  How did he get those robes?  Did he actually take his helmet off just to get to you in a room where anyone could confront him?

Your feet propel you forward as soon as you make it out of the door, you break out into a sprint—just flat out bolting because you know how fucking fast he is and you need as big a headstart as you can get.

You race down the stairs and through the courtyard, the beautiful surroundings contrasting drastically with the way you’re running for your fucking life through them.  It’s not beautiful to you right now; you feel clumsy and physically unable to move fast enough no matter how quick you go, your eyes are wide and every nerve is on fire and you can’t even tell if he’s behind you anymore with how silently he moves, but you just trust that he is and keep barreling forward.  Your breath puffs against the clinging fabric of your mask as you keep sprinting, willing your legs to pump faster.  Get to the belltower at least, get to where you have the smallest chance of being caught by the people who guard this place.

As soon as you allow yourself to even conceive the possibility, two Brothers in dark hooded robes suddenly turn the corner a little ways in front of you and your reaction time is perfect—you jerk to a halt and take a single step forward as soon as they spot you.  Since your momentum already committed you to it, you just have to walk, keep your head down, move directly past them and hope Din disappeared from behind you in time.

Step, step, step—keep going, control your breathing, you’re okay, you’re allowed to be up late tonight and they shouldn’t stop you.  Walk right by…  Stars, you feel their silent stares as you casually pass, and it just feels so cold and analytical compared to the kind of danger Din is gives off when dressed in the exact same clothing.  He’s hard and tangible and an unrelenting force, where they just feel like ghosts that haunt this place.  The threat they present is impersonal and detached, but the terror currently chasing after you is so real that he can read your mind.

You wipe the sweat from your brow as soon as you turn the corner, and your feet are already starting to speed up on their own knowing you’re out of their sight.  Run, get to the belltower before Din does, you can see it standing tall about a hundred feet away.  The stairs leading to the door come closer and closer, but you hear something behind you and it propels you faster.  It’s like you can feel him right at your heels even though you haven’t seen him, snapping at your ankles even though your footsteps are the only ones you can hear anymore.

You scramble up the stairs and close the door behind you, spinning around and facing it even as you slowly retreat backwards into the moonlit tower, trying to stay quiet.  Breathing through your nose, eyes shifting around the enclosed space, continuing to back up and away from the door.  Where is he?  There are so many windows that allow you to look outside, but why can’t you spot his movement through them?  Wasn’t he right behind you?

Behind you.

There’s no reason or logic at all to it; you just react.  Spinning around and throwing a mean punch.

Din jerks back just in time to miss it, twisting and dodging at the very last second to avoid your next few hits—but… things seem to slow down, even if they’re happening so fast.  The moonlight cascades through the dozens of windows lining the circular walls and it shines just enough to reveal small glimpses of him.  With every aggressive strike from you, you see something else—you see a flash of his chin when you try to uppercut, you aim for his chest and you see a bit of his jaw.  When you go for his jaw, he steps sideways and catches your wrist, and you see the bend of his nose catch the light this time.

But then it’s like he finally figures out that you’re actually fighting him, and now he’s coming for you.  Trained and ruthless, not weighed down by any armor and lightning quick, launching perfectly aimed attacks that you’re only able to avoid from reaction and muscle memory alone.  You block or move whenever he strikes, you attack whenever you see an opening, you sidestep at the same time he does—

Until you land a spin kick directly to the center of his chest and snap your leg to shove him back, your heel smashing into that soft spot right above his stomach with dead precision and brute force.  He exhales sharply and takes a few more steps back to steady himself while you pause to catch your breath.

Din abruptly comes back and you fall into it with him again, keeping a sharp rhythm with each other that’s faster, harder, and way more real than any sparring match you’ve ever shared.  The hours and days in hyperspace you spent practicing with him are but a fraction of what he’s throwing at you right now, the combinations so rapid and blurred that you just have to trust your knowledge of him and his movement through the dark.

But then, your downfall.  Bells begin ringing an earsplittingly familiar melody above you, and it shatters your concentration—you falter just as he grabs you and sweeps your feet out, and though you know how to get out of that, you’re not quick enough on the jump nor counterswing to prevent it.  He takes you to the ground, hard, and then your wrists are being pinned together above your head and your mask is being tugged down.

Din’s mouth on yours makes you want to cry.

The whole thing is like coming home.  You spent a week surrounded by strangers and having them call you by a name not given to you, fending for yourself, and now here he is.  Someone who knows who you really are, someone that wants to care for you.  Tears come to your eyes even as they're pressed tightly shut, and Din kisses you like he’s never known anything else.  His mouth fits to yours as if the Maker made your lips before ever considering the rest of you, his bare hand clutching your jaw and forcing you to open for him, letting him lick deep inside after going so many days without it.  It might feel dominant and overwhelming if it happened to any other person, but through it, you can also taste his desperation and weakness, how soft he is even when he’s squeezing your jaw and squishing your wrists together too tightly.

Rigid steel that bends only for your touch.

He pulls back and your heart throbs at how moonlight continues to bathe just the smallest glimpses of him under the hood—never the full thing, never the whole face, but enough.  The quiet light that brushes the arch of his nose, how it bathes the hard line of his jaw so that you can barely see his scruff when he turns his head the right way.  His eyes are hidden in near darkness but there’s the faintest glimmer where they should be, and it’s the closest you’ve ever been to looking at him without the helmet.  You can see him, you can see shadows of his chin, his neck—dear stars, his fucking neck.  You’re pinned and paralyzed under him and the ringing bells, yet you feel like you just might float if he wasn’t holding you so tight to the floor.

“Where’s the baby?”  You finally lift your chin and ask, needing to raise your voice over the melody clanging loud throughout the tower.

“Making friends,” Din pants back down at you, and… stars, then you just start giggling.  Adrenaline turning into pure joy, imagining the kid wreaking havoc with all the other babies in the nursery right now.  It feels more light and airy than anything your body should know.

“What are you so happy about?” He asks, swallowing and then continuing on with the same quick gasps.  “You lost, I caught you in time.”

“Did you?”  You drop your head to the brick floor and ask, biting your lip as he stares back down at you.  Suddenly—

—Bong—

Din holds utterly still over you while you take a quick breath and wait for the next eleven bells… 

…but then break into a slow grin up at him when nothing but utter silence follows.

There’s a moment.  Just a single moment where the cogs turn rapidly under that shadowy hood, one where the faint reflection of light in his eyes flickers down to the communicator on your wrist that says midnight and back to you, one that solidifies the longer it takes for another bell to ring.  It’s not going to.

One o’clock.

You think he puts it together.  The one moment he was never able to figure you out—when you tried reprogramming the comms just a few days ago.  The one trick up your sleeve that you resigned to throw away and almost forget about because the circumstances for pulling it off were never realistic.  Fuck with the electronics and set the clock back just one hour—all you’d need to do is reset his communicator, the timecode is synced together.  He told you before that it’s connected to his helmet, but all the buttons still work.  Rapid, panicky thinking and a wild surge of bravery in the face of certain downfall is the only reason you were able to pull it off, and you’re perfectly willing to admit you just got lucky… especially when he’s still holding dead still over you.

But then Din moves so suddenly.  You can’t account for it because there’s no build-up whatsoever—it’s so fast, you yelp while he grabs your knees and throws them both to one side.  You flop over sideways and large hands reach up under the draping length of your tunic to yank your pants down over the curve of your ass, before he’s fitting his palm up between your legs and pushing two thick fingers inside you.

Your head thunks back against brick with how unexpected and merciless it is, but his other hand is grabbing your jaw and twisting, forcing you to look up, stare right into the dark shadow under the loose cowl.  The whole thing is too overwhelming—you’re trying to keep quiet but your breathing feels like thunder crashing inside this tall, echoing chamber.  He’s touched you so many times, he knows exactly how to do it by now, but it feels like so much more than that.  Probably because you can see the way Din’s mouth silently falls open as he feels you, stretching his fingers up and hooking them tight inside.  You can tell when he closes his eyes, the smallest glint slowly disappearing into nothingness while the hand around your jaw blindly moves up.  It catches your chin and lips, and then two fingers push over the bottom edge of your teeth to slip into your mouth.

Your entire leg twitches and jerks while you lay sideways on the ground and open up for him, your neck twisted at a sharp angle to keep your eyes on him and his fingers in your mouth, giving you something to bite to stop making noise.  Din makes room for himself inside you two different ways, and you just choke on his fingers and try to stay quiet, praying he’ll go deeper.

But then you’re not expecting his whole fucking arm to start moving the way it does—oh fuck, what is that?  First you just feel jostled and displaced, but then suddenly a wicked, deep, burning pleasure starts to roar through you, radiating outwards from the rapid motion of just two fingers inside you.  It’s not in and out, it’s up and down so hard and quick against your g-spot that your eyes cross and your hands go numb.

You think you grab at him, clutch onto his arm or chest and open your mouth to moan at the new and overwhelming sensation, but his hand pushes up against your chin and closes it for you, the bend of his fingers caught hard between your teeth but you don’t think he cares.

“Quiet,” Din hisses the word down at you while his arm continues to work, your toes starting to curl as the feeling overwhelms you.  Fuck, what is happening, what is happening?  It’s like he’s just shoving unfamiliar sensation at you so forcefully that you can’t even think straight anymore, not even ten seconds in.  You can only feel the pleasure, fire blurring hot and shapeless through your entire body as your eyes clamp shut, his fingers isolating that perfect spot and stimulating it directly, relentlessly.

Something dull and white hot presses up tight against all the muscles you have down there and you’re almost afraid of how strong it is.  You gasp and choke and he has to take his fingers out of your mouth and just clamp down around your entire jaw, sealing the whole thing shut with his large hand.  And then Din’s fingers leave your pussy too—and stars, you should be embarrassed by how desperately it clamps around nothing for as long as it does.  He’s not even inside you anymore but your body is on such a delay from the hot, twisting pleasure, and he doesn’t put them back in until your muscles are finished spasming.

Everything comes back full force as soon as he starts moving again.  Noise starts to come from your throat, humming in your vocal cords to deal with the arcing, swirling build, and so Din just moves his hand there instead.  He finds where it’s vibrating from your neck and he pushes up against it, trapping the sound right at the source.  He’s fucking perfect at it for some reason… how many times must he have done this to know how to cut noise out without stopping airflow?  You clutch at his wrist and silently mouth his name, feeling his arm work between your legs—faster, faster, harder, pushing you higher, higher—

Din pulls his fingers out again and this time, one of your thighs suddenly feels warm and wet while you spasm and you hear him growl out a ragged, “Fuck yes.”  Everything is sparks zapping through you long after his touch is gone, you cry out but it’s all trapped under Din’s expert grip.  His fingers soon push back inside you and you dig your nails into his forearm, your sounds muffled and quiet enough to hear his raspy groan.  

“Let me see it again,” Din breathes, his arm starting to work up and down once more, and you don’t even know what he’s talking about anymore.  What does he want to see?  You losing your mind again?  Being reduced to an utter mess in front of his shadowy but unobstructed gaze just because you managed to pull one over on him?

Fucking… apparently.  It’s what happens, after all.  You’ve never seen him like this before; whenever he’s worked up and taking it out on you, there was always something in it for him, too.  He’d hammer into you and rock your world until his eventually shattered, and then you’d both lay exhausted afterwards, equally affected and satisfied.  This isn’t like that—this is just cruel, targeted retribution on his behalf, coaxing the molten pleasure out of you with his fingers and keeping his other hand locked around your throat.  You blink helplessly up at him, your vision starting to blur by the time he leans down to whisper to you.

“I missed you, sweet girl.  Did you miss me?”  It’s so soft and quiet compared to the strength and relentlessness of his movements.  You can’t speak even if you wanted to, but when he finally pulls away to yank his hand out and you feel all your muscles automatically flex outwards and push against the sudden emptiness inside you, his voice groans long and satisfied while your thighs get wet again  “Yeah you did,” he breathes, pushing your shaky legs to the brick with his hand and watching you struggle through the aftershocks.

Did you just cum?  You don’t even know, that’s how fucked up you are right now.  The whole thing felt like an orgasm from the very beginning, just a boiling hot tornado ripping through every single cell in your body, never really having a peak.  If you didn’t cum, then why do you feel so weak?  You feel heavy, your limbs don’t work properly, and you barely even register Din pulling at the fabric of his own robes until he fits himself up against your entrance.

When you do realize it, though… your body burns with it, wrecked already but wanting him to take what he wants from you.

“Oh, plea—” you gasp but you don’t even have enough time to get the full sentence out.  He’s already pushing his hips forward, pressing you tight into the ground and opening you up after what feels like a fucking eternity without him.  It’s the hottest, slickest welcome you could give him, you hear it in the whispered curse his lips brush up under your ear, the wet noises your body makes that get louder the longer you hold the moan in your throat and bury your head into his shoulder.  He throbs thick and perfect inside your tight, spasming cunt, stretching you and smacking the rough ground near your head with how fucking good it is to be back, finally, finally—

Your hands grab uselessly at his chest while you try to acclimate, try to breathe while you’re blind with sensation.  It’s so fitting for him, isn’t it?  That your reunion should be just as physically debilitating as it is mentally.  Din’s voice scrapes on a groan like he’s dragging it across the brick ground as quiet as he can, catching when you clamp down on him and shuddering when you clamp down harder.  That’s just it—you don’t ever loosen, you just keep tightening and tightening around him, threatening to break and cum again.

This feels different from before, though.  It’s deep, purposefully so.  His hand reaches up to push the fabric of your hood back, lifting himself up over your body and wanting to start as deep as he can.  You feel him in a place you’d never be able to reach and that’s just the beginning—that’s before he starts thrusting into you, hitting a dull sensation at the apex of each movement so hard that it becomes sharp.  His hips don’t make practically any sound smacking into you because they don’t really smack, they just rock downwards and fuck you into the floor without needing to pull out really at all.  You know he’s just trying to keep it as quiet as possible, but what he lacks in speed and agility he makes up in power.

You don’t even realize you’re making too much noise until a palm wraps tight around your mouth and the room gets a little emptier.  Din keeps you all to himself on the floor, silencing as much as he’s working you up, smothering as much as he’s freeing you.  There’s no easing up, no dragging it out, no gradual build or climb—it’s just there all of a sudden, pleasure and pain pummeling you all at once, engulfing you in flames.

You reach up to grab at the loose fabric of the hood over his face, catching a fistful of it before his hand suddenly snatches your shaky wrist and pins it back to the ground.

Maker, you forgot—oh, you completely forgot about how many people could find you right now if they ever decided to look in the right place.  You’re not in hyperspace; your body is rocking against rough brick, you’re probably going to have a lump on the back of your head from how terrible you are at trying to map out heaven while holding still.  He’s pinned down what he can with one hand; your fingers are the only things that can move besides how tight you can curl your toes, but you feel your moans turn into words against his palm.  They garble indistinctly and you’re not really even sure what you’re saying, but Din decides it’s worth hearing.

“Shh,” he whispers, slowly lifting his hand from your mouth.  “Shh, tell me—”

“W-wanna look,” you hear yourself whimper, trying your best to keep quiet but wanting to scream it while he fucks you hard and slow on the ground, “—I wanna see, I wanna look at you—”

“Fuck,” Din gasps, and though his grip tightens on your wrist and you know he can’t do it right this second, the words seem like they shatter something inside him, “Keep—oh fuck, please, k-keep saying…”

“I want to marry you,” you nearly whine for him, feeling his hips kick up rapidly and start hammering in and out, in and out, in and—“I want to see your face, I wanna be yours, I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I-I—”

You think he drops his head into your neck to muffle his own sounds.  Though they start out rough and quiet and indiscernible, but they gradually become louder as he repeats himself over and over again, growling and fucking you rough.  You only catch it on the peak, when he pulls his mouth away from your skin and gasps them raggedly one last time.

“—ve you—I l-love y—”

He kisses you to stop himself.  But it’s not really a kiss, it’s more desperate than that.  Though it’s beautiful, it’s beautiful in a different light.  It’s not rejoicing at having you back with him once again; it’s a last prayer begging you to stay by his side forever.  He loves you.  He gives it everything—it feels even more concrete and simple than taking the hood off him and revealing his face would.  You told you that you'd know him without ever seeing him, and you did.  You picked him out and found him when absolutely nothing was giving him away, and this feels like a manifestation of that.  Even if you’re not in a place where he can show you his face, his beautiful brown eyes, something still feels like it changes.  He loves you.  You gasp into his mouth and his tongue sinks deep into yours, tenacious and brave and unyielding.  

When you finally cum, you almost bite him on accident.  

Everything surges hot and molten while he pulls back and keeps fucking you through it, and you can’t tell where you’re touching him anymore, just that his skin is blazing hot under your hand and he feels like everything the armor isn’t.  He loves you.  You’re looking into his eyes right now.  You can’t see any of the details, not really, but the moonlight flickers like silent stars moving through dark depths, staring right back at you and giving you an anchor for the euphoria rocketing through you.  He loves you.  Your nails dig in sharp and slowly drag downwards, scratching hard red lines into whatever thick muscle that is—

The back of his neck, making his hips stutter and when he cums for you, he does bite.

You lift your head just in time to feel his teeth catch your chin instead of your mouth, and his entire body shakes while you keep dragging your nails down the side of his neck and his throat.  Din fucking lives for it, he releases you and arches into the pain and owns your marks like he wishes you made them deeper, stretching his neck and lifting his chin into the moonlight and—

Maker.  You can see it, with direct light, you can see more of it than ever before.  You can see his soft lips and white teeth gritting the sound of your name as quietly as he can, the dark facial hair dusting across the lower half of his face.  A fucking gorgeous jawline and throat extended long over you, flexing hard with his cock pulsing inside you.  You can just barely see the bottom of his nose from under the brown hood, the dark curls brushing up under his ears.

Stars, you still never see his eyes, the fabric of his hood acts like a blindfold draped over them, but you think you cum again.  Even if it’s on accident, it’s mean—Din tries to keep from squishing you and his hand pushes down hard against your lower tummy while he shoves his hips deep one last time, and you cum while staring at half of his face in the moonlight.  Completely lovestruck.

How can he be this beautiful when you’ve only seen fractions of him?  You have everything but the eyes now, everything but the most mysterious thing about him, the reflection into his deepest self, but you feel like you’re hypnotized by every single feature you do see.  His tongue coming out to wet his lips, the vein pulling under his sharp jaw—he’s gorgeous, he’s gorgeous, and your body agrees.  It shakes and shudders under him and eventually, Din finishes and you keep looking as his chin slowly lowers, face disappearing into the shadow once more.

Stars.  He’s so handsome and no one has ever told him, fucking dreamy and the biggest grump you’ve ever met.  Without being able to see him, you already want to reach your hands out and touch him, drag your nails through his scruff and force him to extend outwards into the moonlight again for you.  Whenever he does end up showing you his face, you know right fucking now that you’ll never be able to look away.  For the rest of your life, you’ll be staring at him, apologizing blankly for your rudeness but not feeling sorry at all.

Din leans down and gives you a slow, gentle kiss, finally relaxing into a slouch and breathing hard with the effort it took to shatter you with pleasure.

“The kid is with the other foundlings,” he whispers against your lips.  “You… you’ll have to go get him, I need to grab my armor.”

You squeeze around his cock, pulling at the fabric of his robes and ignoring him for just a second.  He fucked you in robes belonging to one of the guards and nobody has mentioned it, you need to say something.  “Where did you get this?”

“I found it,” he tells you after a moment, kissing up under your jaw.  Oh fucking Maker, he feels so good and perfect inside you, shoulders so broad and crowding you on the floor, and his lips are plush and hot, brushing and fitting your skin like it’s just an extension of his own.  “Some guy was wearing it.”

It takes you a second.

“Mando,” you suddenly gasp in quiet horror, pushing at his chest and trying your best to detach his mouth from your throat.  It’s so much more difficult than it needs to be, but you eventually succeed.  “What did you do to him?  Where is he?”

He lifts his neck up just the tiniest bit, turning his face towards yours under the hood and holding still for way too fucking long.  He’s too close to see the expression he’s making, but you know the tone of his silence.  He’s in trouble and he knows it before you do.

“Ma—”

“They’re in a closet,” he admits at the very same time, completely monotone.

You don’t know which word to emphasize.  A fucking closet?  They’re?  Plural?  Instead of stressing any particular word, you decide not to do it at all and it ends up just coming out in the same exact blank tone as him.  “They're in a closet.”

“Inside the Temple,” Din continues on when you lay still as a statue underneath him.  His head slowly dips down once more, pushing his hips against you just the slightest bit to make you remember the cock still inside you instead.  Your eyelashes flutter with it—fuck, focus—“I didn’t know there’d be more than two.”  He kisses your neck so gently.  “It was an accident.”

You don’t say anything at all, your mouth pinching down at the corners because it should but your heartbeat galloping with how… fucking sexy he is.  You shouldn’t encourage this, this horrible behavior just to get close enough to catch you, but your curiosity overtakes you and you ask a question you’ve asked yourself before.  “Did they put up a fight?”

“Mm,” he whispers noncommittally, rocking his hips down once more.  “You did.”  Your nails dig into his chest, making him falter just slightly before slowly kissing your neck again.  “Did so good.  Fought hard, outsmarted me.  Pretty fucking girl.”

And then your eyes pop open as you feel it.  His cock suddenly beginning to harden once again inside you, twitching and gradually gaining a thicker shape, and for a moment, you actually fucking consider it.  He’s the only one in this galaxy that could not only ruin you on these sacred grounds, but then coax you into doing it more than once—stars, are you actually considering it?

“We can’t,” you automatically tell him, but it’s fucking pitiful.  Zero effort, absolutely no umph behind it, leaving it entirely up to him and how much he wants it.  Your logic reminds you that the kid is probably wreaking havoc in the nursery and there are tied up guards in the fucking temple that could be discovered any second.  You shouldn’t have even let him fuck you here in the first place, but…  “Mando, we can’t—”

His mouth opens against the crook of your neck and his tongue brushes velvet hot on your skin, tasting the glistening sweat there and not moving his broad figure a single inch over you besides getting closer, deeper.  Your nails dig into his collarbone, aiming for reason one last time.  It’s apparent that you’d be better off rephrasing, knowing the challenging streak in him and how much telling him what to do doesn't help.

“It’s not a good idea,” you attempt instead, breathless and trying not to move under his mouth and lazy hips.  “Not smart.  Bad idea to fuck again.”

Din’s body stops moving, even though he keeps getting harder.  His jaw opens and then his teeth scrape softly against your flesh, making you tilt your neck back and gasp.

“Later,” he lifts his head to state aloud, committing it to truth now that it’s been spoken and heard by another person.  “Later, I’ll fuck you on the ship, in our bed, when I can get you naked and have your taste in my mouth.”

Tingles rock through your body and you squeeze around his cock just as he pulls it out and tucks it back into his pants.  Your lungs quiver when you inhale—it’s shaky, but it reminds you of how long it’s been since you’ve been able to breathe correctly.

“Later,” you finally agree, combing your fingers through your hair and glad you have this hood to cover your freshly fucked dishevelment.  He came inside you and you don’t want to be leaking and getting your nice pretty robes all wet and stained, but then of course, without any prompting, Din quickly scoots back on his knees and drops his head down to take care of it for you.

***

Commotion.

After Din helped you clean up the way he sometimes likes and then disappeared to change back into his armor, you put your mask and hood back on and tried to look as casual as possible walking to the nursery.  Your knees wobbled slightly and you couldn’t stop smiling under the mask the entire walk there, but when you arrived, you just saw a dim room with sleeping infants—not what you were expecting.  Soon, however, you hear it: down the hall, distant and coming from the dormitories, you hear a loud commotion.

Fuck, you’re nearly wincing with every step you take now, and not because you’re sore.  Well, you… are, a little bit, but in a great way.  No, you’re just dreading the ridiculous shinanigans you already know are well underway, wondering if Din actually dropped the kid off in the dorms from the beginning or if he somehow migrated his way there to cause trouble.

When you walk inside, the first thing you see is a handful of crying and shouting toddlers, and while you can’t immediately spot your favorite floppy-eared monster, you don’t have to see him to know he’s probably standing tiny directly in the middle of this tense showdown.  Automatically, you’re taking a few steps forward to rescue him, but then you stop as soon as you see what the other babies are so mad about.  A large piece of chocolate leftover from the festival levitating just beyond their pitiful little reaches.

Hm.  Who could possibly be responsible for using demon powers to steal snacks and hold them hostage from a sizeable group of hostile children.  A mystery that may never be solved.

It makes you take a second.  The sheer… the… stars, you can’t even think straight—how fucking typical it is just hits you right in the chest, sends your heart into orbit.  Of course.  Of course this is what he’s gotten himself into without immediate supervision, of course this is the shipwreck you’d walk into, and you’re holding back a chuckle before making a single move to intervene.  In the midst of everything, you can hear adults approaching distantly from behind you.

“—don’t know where it came from, I was helping the younglings into bed when I heard the ruckus and I—”

The voices gradually grow louder, and you snatch the floating piece of candy out of thin air and whip around right before Sister Drya and Naydee walk in.  Their hushed, concerned conversation is cut to an abrupt end, and you clear your throat as they take you in, standing in front of chaos central continuing to go off behind you.  Do you… look as freshly disheveled as you are?  You’re not supposed to be here, you know, but hopefully the only strange thing is your presence itself and not anything concerning your appearance.

“Nerida,” the older lady suddenly announces, the name alone holding so much expectation, and the younglings missing their candy have now turned their ire towards you and the crinkly food wrapper hidden in your fist.  “What is the meaning of this?”

“Ah, yeah,” you stand up a little straighter, letting the chocolate casually fall out of your grip behind you, and a stampede of feet suddenly kick up to recover it.  It’s fine, nobody will know, it’s fine.  “It’s just…”  Your head tips behind you to the cause of the uproar, feeling a bit sheepish yet so incredibly fond.  “My… kid.”

Sister Drya stares at you for a few seconds, before tipping sideways and staring at the culprit.  “That is your child?”

You turn around just in time to see him, now abandoned by the angry mob of children, finally notice you.  All of a sudden, his pitch black eyes light up something bright and sunshiney, and you just start beaming in return.  What an adorable little creature, apple of your eye and pain of your ass.

“Yep,” you sigh, dropping into a squat and watching him barrel towards you, catching him right before he can trip over his brown potato sack and scooping him up into your arms.  “Hiya, bug,” you murmur with a grin, lifting back up and plopping him in his favorite spot in the universe—your left hip.  “You making friends?”

He giggles and it’s like sparkles and bubbles fill the room instead, wrapping tiny arms around the largest surface area he can get and clinging.  He laughs with a tiny open mouth, bless him, clearly not understanding the sarcasm, and suddenly your eyes feel just the slightest bit wet.  No, you’re not crying, don’t be fucking ridiculous, but you missed him like hell and he’s just the cutest fucking thing—why do you feel like crying?

“Sorry about that,” you apologize to the two women while slowly turning around, brushing your thumb over one of his cheeks and smiling as it squishes.  “He’s… uh.  Not great at sharing.  We’ll work on it.”

Takes after his dad, you purposefully leave out, just a different kind of sharing.  Din hasn’t shown you his full face yet and the kid performs magic tricks to taunt a roomful of children a fraction of his age for a single piece of chocolate, completely different kind of sharing.

Sister Drya says something in response, but when you look up to address her, all you see is Din standing silently behind her and Naydee, slowly dropping his hand from his helmet to his side.  They don’t seem to notice he’s there and you automatically try your best to pay attention to the Sister speaking to you, but your eyes get caught on the silver reflecting in the dim light beyond.  Fuck, he’s a presence.  An immediate distraction, taking all your focus with a single glimpse.  Seeing him fully armored again, staring at you from the silent shadows behind everything… you melt a little bit, knowing that you’ve seen more of what’s underneath than anyone.  Your shoulders settle and your entire body burns warm, wobbly like the air around a fire, and one of the kid’s hands leaves you to reach out towards his dad.

You watch the metallic helmet tilt sideways after a moment, saying everything without saying anything.  Come on, make up an excuse, let’s get out of here.

Looking at him in the quiet shadows, you’re reminded once again about how much you love him, how much softness you have inside you for a man so hard, so guarded.  And, for the first time, a voice in your head finishes a poem you didn’t realize you were writing, adding its own verse and bringing everything back around to the beginning.  He loves you, too.  How much he lets his guard down for you, the way he’s revealed more of his face to you than not.  You love each other.  You’re family.

So, all at once, you decide to mess with him, because that’s what family does best.

“Don’t be shy, come say hello,” you suddenly urge his silent figure, taking a step forward and speaking directly to him.  “Sister Drya, Naydee, I’d like to introduce you to my—”

It’s remarkable, you see it happen in front of you.  Like he has powers of his own, Din just literally fucking disappears.  Like magic, he’s nowhere to be found within a blink of an eye.  You know he’s capable of it; he’s done it plenty of times during the chase just to fuck with your head, but you’re staring straight at him when it happens this time and it might just be the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever seen him do.

Sister Drya and Naydee both turn around to an empty hallway bathed in shadows and you laugh.  A deep, shameless, loud belly laugh.  Where the fuck did he go so quick?  You were staring straight at him and you have no fucking clue.  He’s just out, and you’re left alone with his child and the unspoken understanding that he’ll just catch up with you later.

You’re giggling even as you shake your head and give the women your genuine thanks for keeping you and feeding you these past few days, grabbing your backpack with all your belongings and eventually using three green fingers to wave goodbye to them.  The very first thing Din says when he seamlessly joins you outside the Keja later is, “That wasn’t funny,” which just makes you laugh harder.

***

About a half hour has passed, and you’re walking along a dirt road, cradling a very happy baby in your arms and giving the grown man next to you an incredibly hard time.

“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, your back twinging slightly at the way you’re leaning about as sideways as you can get without falling over.  You think you’re basically just the hypotenuse between the ground and Din, who easily supports almost your entire weight with your backpack slung around his far shoulder and readily allows you to rest against him.

“They’re fine,” he grumbles in response, squeezing you tight to his side.  You just have to focus on moving your feet; it’s like he’s practically carrying your upper-half anyways.  “I gave them the night off.”

“You stuffed them in a closet,” you hiss, feeling his shoulder shrug under your cheek.

“I gave them the robe back,” he says, not really defending himself and more just throwing it out there to see if it helps any.  “I’m sure someone’s found them by now, they’re fine.”

Your eyes suddenly go wide, absolutely mortified at the thought.  “Wait.  What do you mean you gave the robe back?”

He shrugs once more, apparently not seeing the problem yet.  “I borrowed it, so I gave it back after I put my armor back on.”

If you could plant your feet on the dirt road and screech to a halt, you would, but all your weight is already resting on him and you’re working solely off his forward movement.  You just hope your tone holds the same amount of shocked disapproval your body language would’ve conveyed if you weren’t so completely attached to his hip like a parasite he adores.

“You fucked me wearing it, though.”  Your voice is strangely flat, so fucking confused and horrified by the mental image of him just tossing the soiled garments haphazardly somewhere in the temple behind you, or even worse, leaving them somewhere respectful, and Din soon stops in the middle of the deserted road.

“Oh,” is all he says, emotionless and blank through the modulator.  Did he not even consider this?

“I had to promise them I was a virgin just to sleep there, you know,” you admit, and you can tell that’s brand new information to him with how still he goes as you continue to lean against him.  You’re getting the feeling that he probably knows a lot more about your experiences on this moon than you think he does, but can tell that this is brand new information to him.  “And you locked three of their holy men in a closet, chased me across the temple grounds, fucked me in one of their robes, and then.  You gave it.  Back.”

Din stays perfectly silent for quite some time.  You can never go back to that place, you know this for a fact.  You’re banned forever now, it’s what you deserve.

Never one to be outdone but not actually having anything to say for himself, Din suddenly decides to just scoop you into his arms and boost up into the sky without a single word like an actual fucking maniac.

You squeal and damn near drop the baby because of it, but he cinches you tight to his chest and refuses to loosen with your struggle.  Eventually, after you realize he’s completely locked you in and you won’t fall to your death with this poor innocent child in your arms, you glance over the shiny pauldron on his shoulder and watch the kid’s crib disappear by the abandoned road as Din takes you higher and higher.

The crib—he forgot the crib—

“D-Din,” you stammer out through the whistling air, stiff as a board.  Stars, you have such a different sense of adventure than him; an explorer and a daredevil, one who gets a thrill from discovering the existence of the edge of a cliff and one who’ll take a running dive off of it without thinking twice.  He’s hit with blaster fire some days, he faces down death completely fearless like it owes him one every single time, and you’re stiff as a fucking board while he carries you through the sky.  It’s stunning up here, it’s exciting and wonderful, but you’re so scared that you can barely even look.  He’s giving you the most fantastical view, everything your budding adventurous streak could ever ask for, and your terror is crushing.  It would be different if you could hold on, but you’re responsible for not letting the baby slip through your arms and you just have to trust that he won’t let you slip through his.

You raise your voice.  “Din?!”

“I won’t drop you,” he automatically reassures, and well you sure as fuck hope not, but there’s something else.

“What about the crib?”  You call out over the wind whipping, tucking the baby tight to your chest and settling your hands over his ears to avoid them flapping and whacking you repeatedly in the chin.

“We’ll come back for it,” he responds, just as easily.  Maker, you wish decision-making came that easy to you, that commitment and choice should be so simple as to just fly away from things on the ground and promise out loud to come back for them.  You know he will, but still, his spontaneity shocks you after spending the past week thinking every decision through meticulously, and you’re taken aback by the casualness of it all while soaring through the sky, committing such spectacular feats without a single thought beyond it.

Soon—incredibly soon, which honestly kind of blows your mind—you spot Nariss glowing in the distance and then you’re flying overtop of the city, slowly dropping altitude in the middle of a quiet little side street.

Din carefully allows your feet to settle on the ground before letting go, but you still stumble a bit stupidly after flying so high without any sort of safety measure besides him, prioritizing the steadiness of the baby in your arms instead of your feet underneath you.  His gloves catch at your clumsy body and pull you along with him without another word, leading you out of the quiet alley and into the middle of a beautiful, luminescent street.

What’s he doing?  He seems slightly hurried, and you’re clueless but you go with it, clamoring along behind him to wherever he’s leading you.

Though, you suddenly remember one of the very last things you told him last night right before he steps up in front of a vendor.

“Caf,” Din grunts, sliding a few credits towards the man standing behind the counter. “The… biggest one you have.”

Okay, well.  You could just about fucking cry.

“Y’sure?” The vendor asks skeptically, jerking his head at the large thermos behind him.  He’s balding, wearing a white outfit with his eyes scrunched up and forehead sweaty, likely working all day.  “It ain’t fresh.  Closin’ up soon, was just about to trash it and go home.”

The helmet turns to gauge your response to the news, the sharp angles and contours looking so sleek and dangerous as they reflect the colorful lamplights, but just filling you with comfort beyond anything in the entire galaxy.  He’ll take that armor off for you tonight and you’ll sleep next to him.  He’ll call you by your given name, or the fond name he’s given you, and you’ll cuddle your baby on a metal floor in hyperspace with him, and all will be well.  Even if he needs to leave again soon—even if you don’t get to go with him, you’ll always have these small eternities with each other, and that’s more enough for you now.

You’re completely zoned out while staring at him, and Din turns back to the vendor before you can even remember the conflict he was attempting to defer to you.

“Yeah, just empty the whole thing in there for her,” he mutters, and you want to marry him.  It’s been a long week, and in your haze and delight of being with him in this gorgeous setting, your brain turns to cavewoman mush.  Big man, makes me happy.  Strong man, loves me, knows me.  Provider, makes me feel good, protector, loves me.

Din hands you the large cup of steaming caffeine, clueless to your grunted inner monologue but knowing better than to reach out and grab the kid from your other arm.  You’re just fine like this, hands full, the little frog snuggled up against your side and blinking up at your face instead of any of the shiny or glowing things around you.  When you look down at him, you can see the world through his eyes—quite literally, they’re reflective and gigantic—and his father’s hand quickly finds its preferred spot on your lower back.

“Try to drink it quick,” Din advises you gruffly, pulling you snug into his side and sloshing the big cupful of piping hot liquid in your hand.

“It’s a thousand degrees,” you protest, trying to balance your three favorite things in the universe all begging for your direct attention at once.  “It has to cool down.”

He gives a dismissive hm in response, and you frown even as your heart soars with how tightly he’s gripping you, how little leeway you have to even move without him.  Part of you is so thrilled at being reunited with him that you consider snarking something back at him, excitement making you brave.  He could probably chug boiling hot liquid in thirty seconds and doesn’t see the point in letting it sit any longer, and you could make some stupid joke about filtering it through his helmet or having a built in bendy straw but you decide to keep it to yourself.

So then you just stand there together, under stringed lights and flowers everywhere, and he waits.  Holding you glued to his side, completely silent and clearly just waiting for your caf to stop steaming so threateningly in your hand so you can drink it.  For some reason, the fact that he’s wanted by the New Republic doesn’t really register at this second—you’re not looking for cops, though he may be.  You’re just lost in this beautiful, fancy city that’s on the edge of finally quieting down after a long day, and you’d like to see more of it with him next to you.

“Well, do you wanna just…”  You ask, tilting your head around at all the vendors.  “Shop around for a bit?”

“Shop… around,” Din repeats slowly, sounding the words out like they’re not common Basic.  Admittedly, they do sit a bit awkward in his voice when put together like that, describing a phenomena he’s likely never even considered a thing before, but it’s so fucking pretty here and you’d like to show him something this time instead of the other way around.

“Yeah, like,” you shrug a shoulder, tipping your head in a random direction.  Anywhere, you’ll go literally anywhere with him, the three of you can go explore.  “Just wander around, and look at all the pretty things.”

From where you’re standing right now, you can already see glittering crystals and jewels being sold at the tent across the street, there’s a booth dedicated entirely to floral arrangements and crowns next to it, you can hear a distant quartet playing melodically in the distance and a couple is being painted by an artist on the corner.  Bars are in full swing at this point, as if they weren’t all day, and even though the merchandise is all different, the multicolored tents look slightly similar when they’re underlit with multicolored lights.  It’s less slightly lively than it was in the daytime, but also… more beautiful, in a sense.  Muted, softer, more romantic.

“I don’t have any more credits,” Din admits casually, finally turning to look around at everything.  You get the feeling that he’s just now seeing it, even after spending the entire day here.  “That stale caf was the last of it.”

Money well fucking spent, you can assure him of that.

“It’s okay,” you tell him automatically, gently bumping your hip into his.  “We don’t need credits, we can just look.”

So that’s what you do.  Even though it’s completely not his fucking style, for the next hour or so, you just walk around downtown with him and sip your caf, looking at anything and everything new and experiencing it with him.  At first, you think he’s just entertaining you, following you while you discover new streets and attractions, but then he points out different things and you know he's looking, too.  There are large animals harnessed up and pulling carts for people to ride, there's an enormous spinning wheel set up in the distance, its colorful lights flickering out as soon as you ask what the fuck that is and why anyone would ever get inside one.

You eventually end up finishing your caf around the time he’s leading you back through a quiet, abandoned alleyway, and you hand him the empty cup to throw away in one of the trash cans on the corner.  The conversation has faded to a comfortable quiet and you don’t really need to ask—you go willingly, not requiring anything beyond his hands on you and the baby dozing in your arms.

“Come on, sweet girl,” he murmurs, gently sweeping you up into his.  You sigh, glad he’s giving you a moment to prepare yourself this time, holding the sleeping kid securely to your chest and resting your head on his shoulder.  “Let’s go home.”

After you’re comfortable, Din rockets up from the ground and climbs high up into the canvas sky.  He disappears with you and the baby into the pastel clouds above, making it back to the Razor Crest in probably about an hour, maybe less.  You and the baby do nothing more than climb into the comfy floor blankets while Din starts up the engines, and you think you’re dozing off together by the time he makes the pit stop to collect the crib and the jump into hyperspace.

You think he might shower?  You’re not sure—you just know he moves up behind you in bed at one point without any armor, burying his face in your hair while you cuddle the sleepy kid to your chest.  It’s dark in the hull, Din’s palms are bare and warm as they slide around the front of your body and he breathes you in, and there isn’t a single place that can touch you here, not a single place you’d rather be.

Home.

***

@followwhereshegoes​ Thank you for the stunning artwork! 💕To anyone interested in possibly doing an art collab in the future, please message me!!

[y-umiko]

TokyoRev Boys and Their Love Language

CHARACTERS: Draken . Kokonoi . Chifuyu

WARNING/S: none I think

Drakens love language would definitely be an act of service, with years accompanying Mikey giving him experience. his literally the phrase “ Actions speaks louder than words”, literally his actions doing the opposite of what he's saying.

He does a lot of things for you that sometimes you don’t even notice all of it. for Draken, you’re the most special person in the world [Probably after Mikey] and would do absolutely anything for you. the need to constantly act and make everything comfortable and nice for you comes so naturally to him like a reflex etch into him. 

It was one of those days where everyone hangs out together, Draken who was conversing with Mitsuya happened to glance at you while you were chatting with Mikey, like a robot, he excuse himself to Mitsuya and silently approached you. 

you just stop in your talking when you felt gentle hands combing through your hair, despite knowing who it was you still shifted your head to have a proper look at him but he quickly kept your head in place.

“Stay still” his words mumbled due to him biting into the hair tie. 

“oh, thanks babe” you mumbled, already used to his actions. everyone watches in amusement as the cool Draken shows an unexpected side. Mikey on the other was proudly beaming at his best friend. 

“Ken-chin is the best when it comes to tying hair”

sometimes his actions are those sweet little things that are very mundane and very hard to notice. Like making sure you brought your umbrella or if you forgot to bring one, he would go beyond means to find one and slip it through your bag without you noticing. 

Small things matter in a big way

Kokonoi would totally be the type to give lots and lots of gifts, he's not sure how to express himself other than money. his not confident with words, he gets embarrassed from small physical contact with you so he shows his love by doing what he's good at. 

from time to time, he would give you stuffs he happened to see that remind you of him, but when you voiced your opinion about receiving gifts from him almost every day, he would stop for some time and would put more thought into what to give you. even though he gets a little carried away sometimes.

In his defense, he likes to spoil you to remind you that he loves you and you deserve to be loved, but when you made a point not to give you anything expensive and limit it to one gift for your birthday, not wanting to repeat what happened in your last birthday where he almost brought the whole shop, he was in a stumped. 

He doesn't know what to give you and your birthday was fast approaching. thankfully, at the last minute, he remembered something, not sure you’ll like it but he brought it anyway. 

“here, my birthday gift to you,” he said softly, as he handed you a neatly wrapped present, which you thankfully took “Thanks Hajime” 

Kokonoi secretly eyes your expression as you unwrap his gift, his nerves getting the best of him as he watches your eyes widen in surprise, it was a box full of jewelry candies, colorful yet elegant candies, seeing your expression he immediately thought of the worst. 

“I was going to bake you something but I suck at that area so I asked Inupi but he doesn’t know how to so I just brought you something from the store, you used to tell me about your childhood and they’re not exp-” he rumbled, it was out of character for him but he just feels the need to defend himself. he was interrupted from his rumbling when you genuinely laugh, the sounds you make were music to his ears.

“I love it! This brings backs memories “ you chuckled as you put on a candy ring on your ring finger “This is the best present, Thank you Haji”  

He just can’t understand you sometimes, you refuse expensive necklaces and bags but here you are so happy over candies he brought from a convenience store. with the tips of his ear red, he took your hand in his and bravely look at your eyes. 

“Next time when we're older, let me brougth you a real ring” 

It’s the thought that counts

Chifuyu’s love language would be words of affirmation, he is the 1st Division’s Vice-captain so his naturally good with words and speech. every compliment he tells you is genuine. whenever you two are together he would never fail to complement and encourage you.

If seeing each other is proving to be hard, he’ll leave text messages or leave notes in advance that you can easily find. whenever you tell him even the smallest achievements he would go overboard with praise, like you’ve won the Olympics. 

“I manage to wake up early today and I wasn’t late at all” you proudly remark as you hang out with Chifuyu after class.

“oh that’s great, that’s amazing, we should celebrate, where do you want to eat?” he said, making you snicker at his excitement. 

“Chifuyu, I just woke up early that’s not something we celebrate” you chuckled, which he shakes his head at.

“I know you’ve been having a hard time waking up early since you’re working hard still late at night, so let’s get something to eat, alright,” he said, this boy was the purest of them all. for Chifuyu, however, though he genuinely supports everything you want to do, sometimes everything he said might have been an excuse to be with you a little longer, again the compliments are genuine. 

There are times, where he just gets emotional that he blurs out words that are better not said in the first place, not in a bad way, things that are embarrassing for him, those cheesy lines that make his heart go crazy, like;

“I’ll protect you” 

“Stay with me forever” 

“you’re the only one for me”

“Everythings going to workout, Trust me”

Sometimes he tells you that you’re his whole life and that he wouldn’t be the man he is today without you, but you knew part of who he was today was Baji, everytime he becomes sentimental you smile at him and return every compliment at him. 

he says cool things but he gets easily flustered.

Sometimes it is best to just Speak up

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant [2] - f!reader

- little angst, hurt/comfort??, fluff

- characters: iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: pregnancy, cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, some cursing, mentions of sex, “mad” iwa makes out with your neck, atsumu pretends to faint and reader jokes about him dying :0

- wc: 1.4k, 1.3k, 1.7k (jfc thats a lot)

a/n: thank u guys for all the love on the first part <333 ily all and ty to the nonnie that requested tsumu and kags

f!reader cuz pregnancy but no specific prns/gendered terms used

[1. suna, sakusa, semi]

IWAIZUMI

#! you were planning on telling iwaizumi the big news that night

#! you missed your cycle this month, thinking it was probably just late so you didn’t care and waited for one more week to pass before worrying

#! it was almost two weeks now, your period tracker repeatedly sending you notifications to remind you to log your monthly cycle

#! but you had no cycle to log

#! thinking that you should go buy some tests, you did just that and came home to see them all turn positive

#! you were in the kitchen cooking a quick dinner when iwaizumi came home

#! he entered your home mumbling under his breath about some kid while putting up his jacket and shoes

#! “welcome home, haji!” you greeted him from the kitchen

#! “hey.” he briefly said back making you turn around to look at him

#! “you alright? what happened?” you tried starting a conversation in hopes of getting his mind off of whatever it is that seems to be bothering him

#! “some fucking kids came into the gym today, acting all obnoxious, trying to taunt me and the team because they wanted to impress some girls who probably didn’t even know them. would’ve knocked them out if it wasn’t against the fucking law.” he harshly explained his day while looking through the fridge for his protein drink

#! you tried not to laugh, turning around so he couldn’t see your face and tightening your lips together to contain yourself, but it was so funny you couldn’t help but imagine it

#! iwaizumi heard the giggles coming from you causing him to roll his eyes, “what’s funny?”

#! “nothing, should’ve just knocked them out, babe.”

#! “yea? sounds like you want to start visiting me in jail,” he makes his way over to back hug you while you continued cooking at the stove, “well then, i’ll keep that in mind next time some dinky teenager get in my face, baby.” he mumbles against your neck before giving you a quick kiss there

#! “hajjj, i’m cooking. go be horny elsewhere!” your upper half shuddered when he continued making out with your neck

#! “whatever you say, your highness.” deep chuckles come from him while he lets go of you to walk to the bedroom

#! “don’t call me that!” his laugh getting louder at your exclamation

#! later that night, you both laid in bed on your sides staring out of the window in front of you

#! “hey haj,” your voice a gentle whisper as to not wake him up if he had already fell asleep

#! “hmm?” he hums from behind you, rough, warm hands under your shirt rubbing itself on your bare stomach

#! “do you ever want kids?”

#! he was silent as he thought about what to say to you

#! “i don’t if they’re just gonna turn out like those dicks from today.” his answer wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, he just hoped you didn’t interpret that as him saying he doesn’t want kids at all

#! “so if they don’t?”

#! “.......sure.”

#! you noticed his hesitation before he gave you an answer, trying to ignore it so your brain didn’t start analyzing too much

#! “hm, ok. goodnight, haji.”

#! “goodnight, i love you.”

#! “love you too.”

#! you told yourself that you were gonna reveal the news to him that night, but seeing that he was worked up over those kids and his slight hesitation when he answered you made you change your mind at the last minute

#! you laid awake thinking about what to do while iwaizumi peacefully slept not knowing his hand was caressing his future child

#! a few days have passed and you were still thinking about when to tell him

#! should you just say it? how would you say it? “hey, i’m pregnant.” no, that’s too blunt. “what if i told you i’m pregnant?” eh. “i’m preggo!” maybe.

#! you both never brought up the topic about having kids again ever since that night

#! but what you didn’t know was how occupied iwaizumi’s mind has been ever since you popped that question

#! he’s been imagining what it would be like to have a little him running around the house, maybe he’s a crybaby and dramatic like his uncle oikawa — who definitely would like to be the godfather, and he promises daily facetime calls everyday despite iwaizumi’s obvious displeasure — or perhaps he also finds entertainment in the godzilla franchise like his father

#! iwa thinks it would be neat to sometimes watch godzilla with someone else besides you, preferably his own kid

#! the night you asked him that question, it took him a while to answer because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. getting lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he forgot to answer you, giving you a quick, “sure.” once he came back to reality

#! you didn’t know this so you took his moment of silence as a sign of hesitation

#! the minor miscommunication causing you both to go into your own heads

#! you were currently looking in the full body mirror, observing the way your stomach looked and how much it’ll be changing soon to accommodate a living being inside you. your hands were moving around, curving itself against your stomach naturally when iwaizumi walked in on you

#! “babe, have you seen my hoodie? the black one, i think you were wearing it-,” his sentence cut off when he looked up from his phone

#! “what are you doing?” he asked seeing you pull your shirt back down

#! “looking at my stomach.”

#! “why? are you okay?” his voice softened at the second question wondering if you were feeling bad about yourself

#! “uh no, wait- yes, yea i’m okay. um, can i tell you something?”

#! before he could answer, you continued, “well, by tell i mean show. i have something to show you.”

#! “uh, yes? why are you so nervous?”

#! “ok, wait here.”

#! “babe-,” and you ran off leaving iwaizumi and the rest of his sentence in the room. a few seconds later, you came back holding something in your hand

#! “here.” grabbing his thick fingers to open his palm before stuffing the item into it. his eyebrows furrowed and he slowly unravels the piece of paper. you analyzed his face for any signs of anger or discontent while his eyes scanned the pictures from one corner to another

#! “w-what is..... you’re pregnant?” he whispered out, mind and body in shock as he stares at you wide-eyed

#! you nodded knowing that if you opened your mouth to talk you were probably going to cry. he falls onto the bed, sitting at the edge, then buries his head into his hands

#! “haji?” your voice lower than a whisper

#! he didn’t answer

#! but you saw it

#! you saw his shoulders starting to shake

#! “haj?” you tried again, this time lightly walking towards him

#! his cries became audible when he felt your smaller hands wrapping around his shoulders

#! “hey.. why are you crying?” you tried comforting him because it didn’t seem like his tears were going to stop any time soon

#! “shit, yn, fuck me.” he said through his cries

#! “oh?”

#! he rolled his eyes at your implying tone before grabbing you by the waist to lay his head on your chest. his breath staggered from crying, he was still crying just not as hard

#! one of your hand gently going through his hair while the other one rubs his back. the action soothing him enough to calm him down and eventually his tears stopped. “why didn’t you tell me?” his voice pouty and his sentence breaking between every other word

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids. i was scared.”

#! he raises his head so his chin is now resting on your chest, “why’d you think that?”

#! “you.. hesitated... when i asked you, remember?”

#! his eyes drifting to the side as he tries to think back on the last few days. you knew he remembered when his eyes slightly widened and his lips formed a small o, “i’m sorry, the question made me imagine things and i got lost in my train of thoughts that i forgot to answer you right away.”

#! “oh.”

#! “yea..”

#! “then, i’m sorry for assuming things and not telling you.”

#! “no, it’s not your fault.”

#! “it’s not yours either.”

#! “so.. truce?”

#! “idiot! why are we making a truce?!”

#! he giggles as he stuffs his face back into your chest but not before he bent down to give your stomach a loving kiss

ATSUMU

#! atsumu was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest, lip in a pout and eyes squinted as he focuses on the television in front of him

#! “stupid ‘samu and his stupid food. i don’t need it. if he doesn’t want to give me any, then i don’t need it. i can make my own food. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.” he childishly mumbled under his breath as his eyes squinted even more, shooting his glare directly at the television

#! “‘tsumu, can you come help me with this?” a voice called from the bedroom. your voice. his beautiful, lovely, awesome sweetheart

#! “c’ming.” he mumbles, slowly sliding off of the couch to trudge over to you

#! “hmm?” he hummed when he got to the entryway of your shared bedroom

#! “can you hold this up a bit, i need to get something in here.” you were in the walk-in closet organizing some things

#! he was happy to help, but you could tell from the way he was pouting and his eyebrows still furrowed that something was bothering him

#! you sighed, “what’s wrong?”

#! “nothin’.”

#! “‘tsumu....,” you gave him a knowing look

#! he was gonna have to tell you at some point, “‘samu, that food hogging pig!”

#! “oh, hey! don’t call him that! it’s mean.”

#! “dun care, his fault for not sharing. our mom taught us better than that.”

#! “you don’t share, get off his back.”

#! “i do!! why are ya siding with him?! i’m yer boyfriend! yer sweet, loving, ethereal boyfriend!”

#! you raised an eyebrow at the way he described himself, “y’sure ‘bout that?”

#! his mouth opens as if he was going to gasp but no sound came out, he just pretended to faint

#! “oh no, did you die?”

#! no answer

#! “about time, thought i was gonna have to endure it for a few more years.”

#! “hey!!” he bounced back up when he heard you say that ridiculously offensive comment

#! “fine, i’ll leave then. don’t come running back to me when ya miss yer oh so handsome future husband.”

#! you snorted before going back to organizing the closet, “hold this for me, please.”

#! he groaned from the back of his throat but went over to help you anyway

#! recently, the twins’ mom gave you guys some boxes of clothes she had put away for some time. not wanting to throw them away, she gave it to you guys and osamu to take whatever you could

#! while looking through the boxes, you dug up some baby clothes that belonged to atsumu

#! “oh my god.”

#! he swings his head over to look at you, “what? hey! that’s mine!”

#! “it’s so ugly.”

#! “i’m telling my mom you said that. she’s gonna hate you sooooo much.”

#! “‘tsum, she set you up.”

#! he faked a wail and then turned back around to ignore you

#! “y’think we can keep some?”

#! “what for?”

#! “i don’t know..what if we have kids later?”

#! “that sounds nice...but we might have twins. i don’t want that.”

#! “huh? you can’t control who and how many we get, ‘tsumu.”

#! “then, let’s not risk it!”

#! “so, you don’t want kids?”

#! “precisely, yah.”

#! you stared incredulously at him while he continued sorting through stuff like he didn’t just tell you he made up his mind on not wanting kids

#! you found out two days ago that you’re pregnant, not yet telling atsumu because you just couldn’t find the right time to sit him down and talk

#! you didn’t expect to find out now that he for sure didn’t want kids. you guys talked about it a few times throughout the years of being together, but he never gave a definite answer

#! it was usually just him teasing you, or he was running around the answer. you never pushed him to answer, you didn’t want to pressure him or anything of that sort

#! “good to know, i’ll keep that in mind.” you mumbled, distracting yourself with folding the clothes

#! atsumu gave you a hum to acknowledge your words. no one says anything after that

#! a few days passed and the topic wasn’t brought up again. you secretly stashed some of the baby clothes while cleaning, the baby was gonna come at some point whether atsumu wanted it or not

#! but what you didn’t know was that he kept a stash of the baby clothes as well. he cleared out a space in his sock drawers by stuffing everything to one side, placing a stack of clothes inside because deep down he knew that there was going to be a mini him one day

#! it was currently morning, you both having the day off so you slept in. your back was curved to mold against his well defined chest while you slept. atsumu was snoring but you learned to block it out over time (he claimed you snore as well, but was never successful on proving it)

#! your eyes shot open, feeling the familiar bile crawling up your throat threatening to come out without your permission

#! quickly throwing the arm that was wrapped around you off, you ran towards the connected bathroom

#! your disappearance making atsumu’s sleepy eyes blink open, “babe? it’s still early.” his rough morning voice whispering out because it wasn’t capable of being louder than that in the morning

#! he heard the gagging noises from the restroom, eyes shooting wide awake in concern. he trips over the comforter trying to get out of bed, hurriedly running to you

#! atsumu acted fast and was holding your hair back, warm palms rubbing circles on your back. he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing to stay silent until you were finished

#! you wiped your mouth with the back of your palm, gasping for air over the toilet seat, reaching out to hold the hand that was on your back, you whispered out an, “i’m pregnant.”

#! initially he didn’t hear you, but once he heard it in his head he gasped. “how long?”

#! “not sure, almost a month?” your voice rough from throwing up

#! atsumu was confused. eyes darting everywhere, not really sure where to exactly focus on. his mind was racing, trying to think of why he didn’t know anything for so long, “ya didn’t tell me?”

#! “how could i when you said you don’t want kids?”

#! “i’m...oh..sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for it to be taken too seriously. i only said that because of the thing with ‘samu so i thought ya could tell it was a joke.”

#! “no ‘tsumu, i couldn’t. i was already pregnant at that point and hearing you say that about having kids really affected me. i didn’t know how to tell you after you specifically said to not risk anything, how was i suppose to know it was meant to be a joke?” your voice still groggy and tears were building up in your eyes.

#! he lightly sighs then brings his hand up to cup your head, rubbing it to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, angel. i do want kids, specifically with ya. what i said was a bit dicky, but i was just being immature, i promise. i won’t joke about serious things like that again, i’m sorry.”

#! you sniffed and brought his hand up to kiss him on the palm, but he quickly yanked it away making you look up at him in shock. “ya just threw up.” he pointed to the toilet.

#! you laughed at that and quickly apologized, he carried you up so you both can stand up from the bathroom floor. atsumu gently washing your hands and around your mouth, then you swishing some water in your mouth to get rid of the throw up aftertaste

#! “wanna know a secret, babe?” he blurted out while helping you walk back to the bed

#! “what?”

#! “i kept some of the baby clothes.” a shy smile on his face as he winks at you from the side

KAGEYAMA

#! you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, you weren’t sure why because it came out of nowhere

#! you decided to ignore it, but as time passes, you didn’t get any better and you even started to throw up

#! thinking back to the talk your mom gave you when you were 10, you went out to buy some pregnancy tests

#! the timeline made sense, the last time you both had sex was a few weeks ago

#! kageyama’s been caught up with practice, you were stressed, so naturally you both thought it was a good idea to let it out

#! but what you didn’t expect was having to buy pregnancy tests because there was a possibility you’re pregnant

#! granted there wasn’t any protection used and you stopped taking your pills a while ago because you guys just didn’t care anymore, so nevermind, you do see how you could be pregnant

#! but damn, one time. all it took was one time

#! shaking your head, you took your phone out to text kageyama

#! you’re not telling him over text, just letting him know you have something to tell him tonight so he can know to prepare for a talk

#! you: tobiii

#! you: i have something to tell you

#! you: tonight tho

#! you: after you come home

#! him: ok love

#! while waiting for him to come home, you lazed around and scrolled through social media for a bit. checking twitter, you were reading some tweets from kageyama’s fans, finding some funny, some adorable, and some just...weird

#! but one tweet you saw was from someone who had met kageyama at one of his previous games. the person was talking about their experience getting to meet him and they even wrote out a part of the conversation they had with kageyama

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: omfg i just met kageyama fucking tobiiosdfjdf

#! it was a thread so you clicked on it to continue reading

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he’s so sighs dreamily

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so fucking tall. i’m 5′3 and mans all the way up there 👆

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: OH OMH wait lemme type out one part of our convo omfg i think he has a partner?????? like an actual s/o guys not me

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok i asked him smtg along the lines of what he thought abt having so many fans who are children ykk bc i was thinking he knew i was implying that these kids look up to him and stuff

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: but this man.....is so...UNAWARE why is he like this but he said smtg like he doesnt understand how kids can be fans of him bc how can they understand professional volleyball like that and i was like ???mf didn’t u grow up playing vball

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so i was like oh ok :D and then asked him abt his thoughts on his future kids following in his footsteps bc i was thinking his answer would be wholesome or some shit

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he told me,,,,, i dont have kids and i dont want any... !!!! why does mr kagman not want kids w me :(( /j

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok so like all of this happened v quickly i was like in and out in 10 seconds lmao but WAIT after he said he doesnt want kids i saw him scrunching his face up

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: im not mind reader nor body language reader but idk he looked .. hrm sad?? FUCK IDK DONT TAKE M E SERIOUSLY IM DELUSIONAL

#! being an adult, you knew you shouldn’t be taking twitter threads of his teenage fans too seriously but you couldn’t help but reread the part where he said he didn’t want kids

#! did he actually say that or is this person rewording what he said? you now realized how you guys never really talked about having kids

#! sure, it was brought up once or twice but it was just because you were having baby fever. kageyama himself never directly told you he wanted kids or he was fine with having kids of his own

#! you sighed to yourself as you lock your phone, closing your eyes to take a nap until kageyama comes home

#! you felt yourself being shaken awake lightly, a familiar presence hovering over you on the couch made you open an eye

#! “tobio?”

#! “who else would it be?”

#! “i don’t know, a murderer?”

#! he scoffs at the slim chance of a someone breaking in to hurt you, but quickly turned his attention back to you when he remembered you wanted to talk

#! “so what’d you wanted to tell me?”

#! “oh, can you sit down?”

#! “o..kay?” he stiffly walked to sit beside you on the couch

#! “i’m uh,” think of something, “honestly, i forgot. yea, i forgot what i was gonna tell you. sorry.”

#! he raises one eyebrow to gaze at you curiously

#! “are you sure? it sounded important when you texted me.”

#! “mhm! yup, i forgot. sorry if i worried you, heh, are you hungry? there’s leftovers we can heat up.” you quickly tried to change the subject, getting up to walk to the kitchen

#! luckily your boyfriend didn’t question it further and got up to trail right behind you

#! you figured giving yourself some time before telling him after what you read was a good idea

#! are you aware that you were overthinking some tweet by a stranger on the app that is twitter? yes, you were. but you’re also human and overthinking is in human’s nature

#! it’s been three weeks and you still haven’t told kageyama the news. a part of you was ready to tell him, just let him know and you guys talk it out, what’s the worst that could happen

#! but the other part of you was scared. scared he actually didn’t want kids. scared he was going to leave you because going through with the pregnancy would drag him down. scared he would get mad at you for not being more careful when he was equally at fault

#! you know how kageyama gets when his emotions get complicated, he can’t deal with it so his one outlet is anger

#! he has no filter and says whatever comes to mind, all logical thinking leaving his brain

#! and that part of you is the stronger one

#! obviously you were going to tell him at some point, it’s not like you can literally hide the growing baby inside you

#! just not yet, not until you’re ready

#! you’re currently a little over a month, bump not really showing, but it’s there and it’s growing

#! kageyama can be a bit dim when it comes to.. most things beside volleyball, and usually you tease him about it but for once you thank whatever god is out there that he hasn’t noticed any big changes on your body yet

#! that was until you were showering, and he made the decision to enter the shower with you without your knowledge

#! humming to yourself while scrubbing your arms, you scooted back away from the water so it wouldn’t wash off the body wash you were trying to use

#! the action causing you to lightly hit kageyama’s chest making you jump from where you were standing

#! “tobio!” you screamed, turning around to throw the foamed body wash at him

#! he chuckles at your surprised expression and didn’t mind the soap you threw onto him, which was now sticking to his defined chest

#! “why were you just standing there, creep?”

#! he was still giggling when he answered you, “did i scare you this time?”

#! “what do you think?” you lightheartedly roll your eyes before going back to scrubbing your body

#! he picked the loofah out of your hand to continue for you

#! you both enjoyed the relaxing sound of running water and quiet echoed hums as he takes his time washing you when he suddenly stopped

#! opening your eyes, you looked up at him, “what’s wrong?”

#! he was just staring at you, blinking very slowly

#! “why do you look- your stomach feels- you look very-,” he sighs, “you look pregnant.”

#! now it was your turn to blink at him

#! you totally forgot that you were naked at the moment and he could easily see every inch of your body

#! blinking once more, you took a deep breath before telling him, “that’s ‘cuz i am.”

#! “y-you are?!” he jumped from his spot

#! “yea.. do you have a problem with that?”

#! “i...why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “do you have a problem with that?” you repeated

#! “n-no..so why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “you’re not mad?”

#! “why would i...?” his voice slightly turning high pitched as he dragged the i out

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids.”

#! “who told you that? when did i say that?”

#! “twitter.��� you murmured under your breath

#! “what?”

#! “twitter..” you said a bit louder, still murmuring and choosing to turn away from him

#! “twitter?! why didn’t you just tell me, your real life boyfriend?”

#! “because!.... i was scared.”

#! “s-scared? baby, why?”

#! “i was scared you were going to leave. i don’t want you to leave. that night i told you i had something to tell you, that was when i found out. i backed out when you came home and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you, i’m sorry, tobio-,” you were crying at this point, both of you standing under the water

#! “shh, shh, it’s okay. i’m sorry for not noticing earlier. you’re alright, babe. it’s okay. it’s okay to not feel ready, you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything, alright? whenever you’re ready, you tell me,” you meekly nodded as he pulls you into a hug, “whenever you’re ready..”

#! you both stood hugging each other’s bare body for a few minutes under the warm water

#! “that was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said, tobi.” your voice sounding congested from the crying

#! “hey. mean.”