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yayakoishii · 9 months

Text

Want | Sanji x Chubby! Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader

WC: 5.5k

Genre: Fluff, slight Angst

Warnings: Sexual harrasment, derogatory terms for chubby people, mentions of blood, insecurities that lead to a bit of light self derogation (Please remember you're absolutely beautiful as you are <3)

A/n: The response on Hunger is insane. Over 700 likes?! I didn't expect much beyond a few 10-20 likes, thank you for all the love 😭 This is another self indulgent fic, more personal to me because I'm chubby myself so... I'm not super proud of the pacing tbh, but it's still pretty good, in my (biased) opinion, haha. I hope you enjoy it!!! ♡

also available on ao3!

When you joined the Straw Hat crew, you didn't expect to fall in love with the blonde chef.

Actually, when you joined them, you weren't in the mindset to think about love and silly crushes. Your island had been destroyed by the Marines for a 'good cause' and despite the Straw Hats' best attempt, you were the only remaining survivor. Luffy kindly offered you a place on his crew, and you joined as an assistant to Chopper, slowly learning from him.

The first few weeks after you joined were tough for you, who had never travelled outside of your island. It took time to get used to the environmental changes along with the emotional grief of losing all your loved ones. The crew tried their best to cheer you up in their own ways, and you would forever be grateful for every one of them for at least trying, even if their methods weren't the most effective for you. It was the thought and the sentiment behind it that counted.

But what did work for you was… food. Ever since you were a child, you had loved food and it was the way you connected to life. Though you were not the greatest cook out there, you were capable of making things that were edible and quite good at times. On the ship though, you never had to cook, because Sanji would always do all the cooking. Whenever you offered to help, to take your mind off the pain you were feeling, he would kindly decline, saying that he would make you whatever you wanted.

But he couldn't. The dishes from your island were not recipes known quite to the rest of the world. Hell, even you didn't know all of them, save for some of your favourite foods that you had learnt from your mother. So you snuck in after dinner and made a dish from your hometown. It wasn't the best food you ever cooked, but it still meant something to you, because you were reminded of home.

You wrote down all the recipes you knew into a book, and kept it close. Whenever you missed your home, you would sneak into the kitchen at night and make yourself something with your wonky cooking skills that made the dish taste different every time. Still, the familiarity was enough to comfort you and let you wallow in the grief at the same time.

Until one day, you couldn't find your book.

"Nami?" You called unsurely to the navigator, who was lying on the deck under shade next to Robin. Behind them, Sanji was serving drinks. The three looked at you in question and suddenly under the scrutiny, your confidence faltered. "Um, uh.. d- did you see a journal somewhere? I can't find mine…"

"The brown one?" She asked, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. You nodded frantically, hoping she knew. "I don't think I did. Did you check under your bed?"

"I did," you whispered, feeling the sadness wash over you again. It's not like you didn't still remember the recipes, but your memory wasn't the best. Without the book, it would be hard to remember them all.

"Don't worry, we'll find it," Nami got up and reassured you, looking concerned. "Sanji. Robin."

The two of them nodded along and then the four of you were searching for it everywhere, until Sanji had to excuse himself apologetically because he had to go cook lunch. You could only nod, trying not to get down in the dumps again over a book, but it felt a little hopeless. Until you heard Sanji shout from the kitchen. The three of you ran over to find him scolding Luffy, your journal in his hand.

"I just wanted to see what was in it!" Luffy pouted, his rubbery hands swinging around to try and get it back.

"That's an invasion of privacy, Luffy!" Sanji looked angry, but you were too relieved about the fact that you had found the book to get upset with Luffy.

"It's okay," you said, reaching forward to get the book. "It's just… recipes, Luffy. From my hometown."

There was silence in the kitchen for a few seconds and Luffy's face dropped into a serious look.

"I'm sorry," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I thought… If I knew how to help you, you'd be happier."

It made you laugh softly, your heart warm at his kind intentions.

"Thank you, Captain," you smiled at him, eyes crinkling into crescent moons. "I am happy here. I just… miss my home, sometimes."

He wrapped you into a hug and Nami ruffled your hair a little. You smiled under the attention, holding the book close. Sanji for once was quiet, just staring at the book thoughtfully, though you didn't notice it then.

A few days after that event, Sanji called you to the kitchen before lunchtime. Curiously, you followed him to find… a plate of your favourite dish from your hometown. It was plated beautifully, making it look fancy and yet it still had that homey feeling to it. Sanji didn't say a word, just held out the chair for you to sit. You sat down in a daze, too focused on the smell of it lingering in the room.

It smelled like home.

And when you tasted it, you burst into tears. Because it tasted like home. It tasted exactly like your mom's. All the tears you had held back to not worry the crew were now spilling out without any end but you didn't care. Here, where only Sanji could see you, you let it all out. He didn't say anything, just placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and squeezed to let you know he's there for you. You turned around to face him, but the tears made it all blurry. Knocking your head against his stomach, you cried harder.

Sanji just held your head, carding fingers through your hair in comfort, offering you a handkerchief. That, you realised later, was the moment your feelings for Sanji began.

✿

After that day, you became a lot happier. Somehow, without words, just eating the food that Sanji made was enough to heal your broken heart bit by bit. Sometimes, he made extra because Luffy was curious and wanted to taste it too; and then the whole crew wanted it so Sanji made a few of your dishes for dinner. In that moment, surrounded by the smell of home, around your new family, your heart finally started healing.

You started noticing Sanji everywhere after you got used to life on the Thousand Sunny. From the small things he does, to the loud expressions of love he made, everything about him seemed wonderful and warm to you. Because you knew that beneath his overt affections for all the ladies, he was an infinitely kind, caring and observant person. How were you supposed to not fall for him, when he went above and beyond for you?

And yet, for all his admissions of love, you never believed that he could truly like you back like you felt for him. You were after all, not the prettiest girl around and you knew that. You were not slim like Nami or Robin, and it's not like you absolutely hated your soft and squishy body. But you wondered if Sanji would like you even though you weren't pretty.

All that self consciousness went out the window every time you were in his presence. He never made you feel less, or ugly– in fact, the way he spoke to you always left you a blushing mess. He made you feel special, and in the moment, it would be enough. Until you saw him fawning over Nami or Robin, and then the sneaky voice in your brain would whisper quiet thoughts comparing you to them. You had no chance with him, and you knew that.

And that was fine. You could live with that, couldn't you? You had to, because wanting more than you should never ended well. All it would leave behind is rejection, hurt and awkwardness. So you pressed down the feelings and acted as normally as you could.

The moment you realised that you loved Sanji was probably a memory you would never forget. Although it was unforgettable for you, it probably wasn't particularly that unique to others. That didn't matter to you because it was a memory you cherished ultimately.

It happened when the ship docked on a peaceful little island. Everyone else was going out to enjoy their time, and you wanted to spend that time with Sanji. So, casually, you made your request.

"Sanji?" Your timid utterance of his name got an instant reaction from the chef, who straightened up and looked at you with hearts in his eyes.

"Yes, (y/n)-chan?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Um, you're gonna go grocery shopping, right?" You had seen Nami complaining while handing him the money for the shopping.

"That's right," he leaned closer, almost too close but not quite into your personal bubble. Still, the proximity was enough for you to smell the mild smell of his perfume that left you a little weak in the knees. "Did you want me to get something for you, sweetheart?"

"I just," you hesitated, suddenly scared that he might realise your feelings and get disgusted. No, Sanji wasn't like that, you had to remind yourself. He would never treat you unkindly, even if he knew your feelings. "I heard you always do it alone. I thought you might enjoy some company?"

The hearts in Sanji's eyes disappeared as he stared at you like you were speaking gibberish for a few seconds. Under the intensity of that stare, you fidgeted and waited for his response.

"You're too kind, (y/n)-chan!" He finally cried, holding up your hands in his own bigger and colder ones. You flushed at the action, stammering out an actual gibberish response this time before you were whisked away by the blonde chef to town.

It felt all too much like a date to you, when you walked next to him. Sanji somehow made grocery shopping fun, or maybe that was just because of how much you liked him that anything with him was enjoyable? It didn't matter, you decided, because whichever it was, you couldn't deny that Sanji was equivalent to the sun on a cold day.

He enthusiastically showed you around, as if you were a tourist and he were a guide (when in fact, it was the first time in this town for both of you) causing you to giggle. Whenever you stopped to buy things, he would humour your curious questions on how to pick which vegetable and what cuts of which meat are the best. It felt awfully like a domestic date, one that made you smile when you imagined doing this with Sanji years down the line every week.

"And that's the last of it!" Sanji said happily, picking up the last bag. He was holding all the bags since the start, despite your insistence and now you were anxious, seeing him hold so many bags in his hands.

"Sanji, let me hold a few," you tried again, hands reaching out to take some of them. But Sanji just turned around so you couldn't reach the bags and grinned down at you.

"Nonsense, how could I let such a delicate lady hold such heavy bags?" His words made you flush in embarrassment. You were not delicate in any sense; surely, Sanji knew that too. And in spite of all his sincerity, the word just felt like it was mocking you.

"I'm… not…," you struggled to say, not wanting to argue but unable to keep it in either. With your chubby frame, no one had ever considered you as delicate.

"Let me do this for you, my love," Sanji's voice was soft and infinitely gentle, as if he was indeed holding something fragile in his hands. "I wouldn't feel good letting you carry anything when I'm more than capable."

"But Sanji!" you lightly whined, wringing your hands. "I don't feel good letting you carry all the burden either! Come on, just a few bags?"

Before Sanji could respond, you heard a scared squeak. Your brows furrowed and you looked around the marketplace, finding a man cornering a girl a few feet behind Sanji. She seemed uncomfortable and he was all in her personal space, saying something in a rough, sleazy voice that gave you shivers.

You were not a fighter, but the instinct to protect her overtook the rational part of your brain and you crossed the distance to where they were. Pushing him back, you stood in front of the girl to block her from him.

"Can't you see she's uncomfortable?" You said coldly. "Back off."

The man took an involuntary step back until his eyes fell on you. He reeked of alcohol and smoke and you felt like puking from the putrid stench coming off him but you held it together, trying to come off as more confident than you felt. His eyes roamed over your body shamelessly, and you felt dirty and uncomfortable from the action.

"Don't get in our business, fatty," he grinned, the smell of alcohol doubling the moment he opened his mouth. "Are you jealous that no one will ever give you the attention she's getting?"

The words stabbed you in the gut, even though you knew rationally that you were better off without the bad attention. That was the one perk of being conventionally average in looks– no one really looked at you, in good ways or bad. Or maybe you had just been lucky so far. But hearing him call you that, saying those words, even from someone like him, it hurt a small part of you. Before you could respond, a leg in black slacks came up and kicked the man down with such a force that everybody around paused, shocked by the sudden action.

Even you stepped back automatically, gasping when you saw that it was Sanji, still balancing all the bags perfectly while he had roundhouse kicked the man into the ground with so much force that you could see his teeth had become bloody and he was on the verge of unconsciousness.

"(Y/n)-chan doesn't need the attention of sewer rats like you," he said calmly, straightening back into position smoothly. "Her beauty only deserves the best of the best."

The sight of Sanji saying that with a calm face, his hair slightly tousled, his hands balancing the bags and his leg muscles rippling under the slacks – that image was imprinted in your heart and brain for the rest of your life. The words sent you into a shock, but when they finally processed, you couldn't deny the overwhelming realisation that crashed into you.

You love Sanji.

It wasn't just a silly crush, or something that could go away if you gave it time. The chef had unknowingly carved himself a place into your heart. He was taking over it, chamber by chamber.

"Sanji…" The word came out as a whisper, inaudible under the din of the market as people were talking about what was going on. You snapped out of it when you felt the girl behind you shuffle and you immediately squashed your thoughts down to examine them later. You turned around and asked her, "Are you okay?"

She looked very alarmed and upset, but she still shot you a grateful smile as she murmured, "Yes, thanks to you two."

"He didn't hurt you?" You asked, hands hovering over her as you looked to ensure if she was safe. A peek of crimson caught your eye when she raised her hand to rub her face. Her elbows had scraped against the rough brick wall in his tousling. "You have some scratches!"

"Oh," she turned her arms to look at the wounds, now feeling the burn after the adrenaline and fear response was receding.

"Come on, I'll treat it for you," you offered, opening your sling bag which had some emergency first aid. You usually carried it around for the members when you were off the ship, knowing that they were all too reckless to give a second thought to any wounds.

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't trouble you more!" She said, mortified but you gently shook your head, offering her a hand.

"It's no trouble," you reassured her. It took a little bit of convincing but she eventually calmed down and let you clean up the wound before you parted. Finally, you allowed yourself to look at Sanji, who immediately schooled his features so you wouldn't see the warm adoring look he was giving you the whole time. "Sanji… Are you okay too? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"Do you think I'm that weak, sweetheart?" He smiled teasingly, but you felt the need to defend yourself.

"I know you are strong," you insisted, worrying your lower lip as you tried to look him straight in the eyes but kept getting flustered. "But even strong people get wounds. Just because they are strong, doesn't mean that they don't feel the pain. So tell me honestly, Sanji. Are you hurt anywhere?'

"No," he promised. "But if you're that worried, I'll let you check me all out back on the ship."

He ended that with a wink, and this time, you couldn't hold back the flush threatening to overtake your face again. Sanji couldn't help making the mood light again, but he had no idea of the effect his words had on you.

"Stupid," you weakly pawed at his arm, walking away before he could say anything. The blonde chef just laughed and followed you, face once again soft and fond as he watched you.

✿

Sanji may have been one of the only people onboard who was oblivious to your feelings, because a few of them did figure it out after watching the way you interacted with him. The first ones to realise were Nami and Robin, who called you out on it when the three of you were lying under the shade on the sunny deck.

"Really?" Nami had scrunched her nose, eyes critically analysing Sanji as he walked (danced, really) back to the kitchens after serving drinks to the three of you.

"Really what?" You asked, too busy sipping the cool drink to notice that she had noticed the way you had warmly thanked Sanji and given him a bright smile.

"Sanji?" Nami gave you a pointed look. The name made you freeze, and you tried to play it off.

"What about him?"

"Oh, come on!" Nami threw the slice of lemon that was on her drink. You caught it before it could fall on your shirt and muttered an indignant 'hey!' that the navigator ignored. "You like him, don't you?"

The words were enough to make you hide your face in embarrassment. Robin was smiling knowingly from the other side of Nami and you felt exposed, like they had both just turned you inside out.

"I do," you whispered after the few minutes of silent mortification that Nami had spent in self satisfaction.

"Why that loser though?" She said without any real bite. You knew she wasn't actually demeaning him; it was affectionate, in the way one would talk about their sibling's lovelife.

"Because!" You whispered, eyes running everywhere to check if no one else was around to hear you. "Have you looked at him? He's literally so pretty! He is kind, caring, and so, so thoughtful and generous. Without expecting anything in return, he is always giving and giving and he makes my stomach do silly things. He has curly eyebrows, Nami! I didn't think those could look good on anyone. Hell, I know I would look ugly with them, but he makes it work! It suits him, and he's so beautiful and I'm just–"

You collapsed onto your chair, your wet fingers from the condensation on the drink glass finding purchase in the dips of your face to hide it. Just talking about him was enough to get your heart beating fast, and the mortification of what you had just spilled to the two girls made you want the ground to swallow you already.

"You really like him," Robin's soft observation made you relax. She wasn't teasing you. You turned to look at her and caught the comforting smile she was sending your way.

"I was going to say you could do better," Nami turned to face you, swinging her feet around to your side, "but after hearing all that, I think… You two are perfect for each other. Despite all his antics, he has a good heart. And you'll be good for him, because you see him as he is."

"Yeah?" You couldn't help the small flower of hope blossoming in your chest.

"Really," Nami smiled, a rare genuine smile that was usually reserved for late night talks and reassurances in down times.

"You don't think…." You trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of your top, "he won't… find me good enough?"

"Are you crazy?" Nami snorted, picking up her drink. The melted ice had made the level go up so much that it was threatening to spill any moment. "You're better than anything he could dream of. I told you, didn't I? You would be good for him. Having someone like you in his life to ground him, I think there's nothing better than that. You're one of the sweetest people I have ever met. If anyone here isn't good enough, it's him."

"Hey now," you frowned, ready to defend Sanji but hearing his voice stopped you.

"Who isn't good enough for (y/n)-chan?" His face was stuck in a weird smile, like he was forcing it. He carefully placed the plate of pastries he had brought as he continued casually despite the silence, "I don't know who we are talking about but Nami-chan is right. No one is good enough for our lovely (y/n)-chan."

"Oh, look at that!" You hurriedly switched the topic, looking at the plate he had brought. The tiny pastries were adorable and colourful, looking so delicious that it would have made your mouth water if you weren't distracted at the moment. "This looks so good, Sanji. Seriously, if you keep feeding me like this, my weight will keep increasing!"

The last line became a teasing complaint, but you didn't expect Sanji to come to the side of your chair and lean down to where you were tilted. The proximity caused your eyes to widen, the blood thundering in your ears as he carefully tucked in a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, face so soft and warm that it make your insides feel like they were vibrating.

"All the more for me to love, so I would keep winning, wouldn't I, sweetheart?"

You choked, and the need to get away from him before you did something wild like grab him and kiss him got so much that your knee accidentally shot up and into Sanji's back, pushing him forward. The chef's eyes widened at the sudden attack, but he managed to not collapse on you by quickly holding onto the sides of the chair but now you were trapped in between his arms on top of the close proximity.

It made you so weak in the knees, and there was something hot and warm curling in your gut as you stammered gibberish, feeling like you were about to faint because Sanji's chest was practically touching yours and it was all too much.

"SORRY!" He hurriedly backed off the moment he got his bearings, and for the first time since you had come onboard, you saw him have a genuinely heavily flushed face. There was a little blood starting to leak from one of his nostrils and somehow, it helped you calm down. He was just as affected as you were. The idea was enough to lessen your embarrassment by a little.

"I'm the one who's sorry, Sanji," you said remorsefully, hiding your face completely in your hands this time. "I kicked you!"

"It wasn't on purpose," he said, right hand coming up to hide the blush on his own face. "I'm sorry for… for making you uncomfortable, (y/n)-chan!"

Uncomfortable? Did Sanji have any clue just how comfortable you actually felt? The problem wasn't that you were uncomfortable in the proximity; it was that you were too comfortable, to the point that you never wanted to leave. But that would be a dead giveaway of your feelings, right?

"Okay, this is just painful to watch now," Nami sighed, jolting the two of you. You had nearly forgotten that she and Robin were right there, and they had seen everything. She looked at you unhappily, mouth set in a tight line. "How about you two get a room and make out there?"

"Nami!" You cried out. She really just gave away your crush like that?!

"Just be grateful I'm not demanding money to make up for what I just had to witness," she sniffed haughtily, swinging her legs back onto the chair and pulling down her sunglasses. "Seriously, you two, go talk shit out. Or else, knowing you, you will just be awkward around each other and that's gonna be even more painful to watch."

She wasn't totally wrong. You were planning to avoid him, possibly by jumping off the Sunny and drowning to death since you didn't know how to swim. But that wasn't really a solution and even you could admit that.

"W- What's there to talk-?" Sanji seemed a little scared, wide eyes glancing between the three of you. Nami ignored him, and you were too flustered to look him in the eyes. Nami's suggestion was essentially for you to come clean, wasn't it? But that was easier said than done. The fear of rejection and the eventual awkwardness was gripping your insides in a chokehold, and you couldn't move your feet even if you tried.

"Sanji," Robin said calmly. "Pick up (y/n) and go to the kitchen."

"Huh?" You were startled at her words. Pick you up?! No way! "No, no way, I'm too… I'm too heavy, there's no need for that!" Even as you said that, you couldn't actually bring yourself to move.

"I don't really get it," Sanji admitted, looking between the three of you as he spoke, "but I can do that. (Y/n)-chan?"

"No, Sanji–" the protests died down the moment he bent down and picked you up like you weighed nothing. Even as he walked you across the deck, you couldn't help but think that it was kind of hot just how easily he picked you up. "Sanji…"

He didn't look at you until you were in the kitchen and the door was closed behind the two of you. He walked over to the table and then carefully placed you on it, as if you were a teacup made of fine china teetering with tea. Finally, he let his clear blue eyes stare down at you, the expression on his face more vulnerable and exposed than you had ever seen on him.

"Sanji?"

"I know I made you uncomfortable," he said quietly, backing away. His hands came up to rub away the blood but it only made it spread around and you winced at seeing that. You never wanted to see any blood on Sanji, if you could help it. "I touched your… you. It wasn't my intention, I swear! I just, I wanted, I–"

He abruptly shut up, looking frustrated with himself.

"Sanji."

He didn't look up, fists clenching at his side the moment you said his name.

"Come here, Sanji," you whispered, holding out your hands to beckon him closer. His eyes flickered over your face, as if trying to gauge out what you were feeling, even as he followed through your request without a second thought. You pulled out the handkerchief he had given you long back, and wiped away the blood over his upper lip and cheeks carefully before you picked up his hand. The thumb was bloody too, so you gently held the limb in one of your hands and wiped it with the other. "You didn't make me uncomfortable, Sanji."

He stayed quiet as you continued to wipe it until it was all gone.

"Didn't I?" He said the moment you were done.

"No," you said, looking up at him. You didn't let go of the hand, though you dropped the handkerchief beside you. Somehow, holding his hand seemed to give you the courage to make the admission Nami had told you to. "I… Sanji, I like you. A lot more than I ever thought it was possible to feel towards someone. I like you so much that it physically hurts when I see you flirting with other women. I like you so much that my heart feels warm whenever you are around, and I feel so safe in your arms that I never want to leave. I like it when you are close to me. But I know that you don't like me like that, so whenever you get so close, and I can't help but want you so much, it's painful for me. I never want to let you go."

Sanji's eyes darkened with every word you spoke, a gradual change that you didn't notice at first because you were all in over your head. His hands hovered around your waist as you finished.

"Who told you?" His voice was a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat the moment he realised how desperate he sounded.

"Told me what?" You asked timidly, looking down at your lap.

"That I don't like you?" Sanji's voice was a broken whisper like yours had been. "I have never heard anything more untrue than that. All this time, I wanted you but I kept my feelings to myself. Because you deserve so much, so much more than I am, so much more than I can give. I wanted and I wanted and I felt so greedy, wanting more and more of you, more than you would let me have– I wanted anything you were ready to give, and I also wanted everything you have to give. I thought you wouldn't want someone like me, when there are so many better options around for you–"

"What?" You couldn't help but laugh. All his words were making you delirious; this had to be some wild dream you had conjured up. It didn't feel real. None of it did. "I had better options around? Sanji, I was so sure you would never look twice at me! I never felt like I was pretty enough, or good enough to get your attention and you're telling me… I had better options? That's so–"

You kept laughing, body shaking from the weight of the laughter. Sanji stared at you, unsure hands still hovering around you. His fingers twitched from holding back the urge to pull you into him.

"You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen," he mumbled. "Not good enough to get my attention? Darling, you have had all of my attention ever since I met you. No other woman could compare to you from the moment you made your place in my heart known."

"Did I really have all your attention?" You asked, letting your insecurities bubble up. Now that you were both being honest, it was better to get it all out of the way, right? "Even when you looked at the other women…"

"I never looked at them the way I did you," his words were sincere, and in that moment, they were enough. You looked up at him, and your body broke into shivers the moment you realised the heat in his eyes as he stared down at you; like you were some unique dish he was finally getting the chance to eat after years of craving it.

"I didn't want the other options, Sanji," you whispered, the volume enough for the proximity you were in. "The only one I ever wanted was you."

You held his collars and pulled him in, and it was like he finally snapped, now that he had permission. His hands immediately grasped at your sides, gently holding the soft flesh there as he kissed you. And now it was your time to give and give, while he took from you like your lips were spilling with ambrosia and he was determined to get every drop. His warm breath fanned over your lips and the goosebumps on your skin rose again, your fingers tightening around the collars of his shirt.

When he let your lips go, he was greeted with the sight of your flushed and pleasantly buzzed expression, like you were drunk on him. Seeing you like that, because of him, it was enough to get him groaning.

"So beautiful," he whispered, leaving feather light kisses all over your face. "So gorgeous. All for me. All… for me to have?"

"Yeah," you whispered, looking up at him and seeing the devastated yet over-the-moon expression on Sanji's face. Even without words, he could always just cleave into your heart and press himself within its walls like they were made to fit him, and only him. "You can be greedy. Take all you want. I'm all yours."

°•❀•°

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ih34rt-lanceystrxlly · 1 month

Note

Hi! Can I request a Carlos Sainz x Reader?

The reader is a fashion blogger and one day got asked to do a photoshoot for Mercedes with Lewis Hamilton, it turned out great because even the fans are starting to ship them online and all over social medias. Carlos gets adorably jealous of seeing her in other team’s color and the fans reaction didn’t help either.

Thanks!

It's not nothing

table of contents/pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: check request !!

warnings: some cursing, mentions of alcohol, suggestive content but no actual smut.

message from A☆: Has this been sitting in my drafts for weeks ? Yes. Did I fully scrap the original fic ? Yes. But here it is !! I felt this kind of trope was especially fitting after Carlos' win in Australia, so I tied that in. ALSO, WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. Again, sorry for taking so long to get this request done, but I hope you enjoy...

It was just her job. That's what Carlos kept telling himself as he looked at the pictures. Y/N, one of his closest friends and a very popular fashion girly, had done a photo shoot with Lewis Hamilton, his replacement. Now sure, Carlos hadn't left Ferrari just yet, hell the season had barely even started, but it was just a sad coincidence. The longer he stared at the photos the more jealous he became, he felt stupid for it. But she looked gorgeous in silver and green, even though she'd look better in red, and the way they had Lewis pose with his hands around her waist made him want to claw his eyes out. And to make matters worse, fans all over the internet kept making little comments about the idea of her and Lewis being together. He needed to keep reminding himself, they were just friends. Just friends. But friends didn't think of each other the way Carlos thought of Y/N. Friends didn't crave each other the way Carlos craved Y/N. But it was whatever, it was nothing, he had remind himself.

It. Was. Nothing.

---

Ok, so maybe it's not nothing. He was trying to celebrate his win in Australia, enjoy himself with his team and his friends, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Mercedes had invited Y/N to the Grand Prix, so she'd been in the paddock the whole weekend. It was easy to distract himself from her when he was wrapped up in his work, but now watching her from afar as she swayed her hips on the dance floor, it was too much. Her dress sparkled beneath the lights, her hair swished around in tandem with her body, she looked perfect. It was eating him alive, he needed to do something. He needed her.

"Carlos!" She screamed excitedly over the music, looking up at him with an almost drunken gaze. It wouldn't be shocking if she was drunk, they were out partying, and as much as Carlos didn't want to admit it he was a little tipsy too.

"Hey..." He said as he took her waist in his hands. She didn't stop dancing, letting him press her body into hers as they swayed to the music, what's the worst that could happen? They were best friends. Friends dance together. It was nothing. But then dancing turned into teasing touches, and then kisses, and then running off together to Carlos' room. So yeah, it definitely wasn't going to be nothing the next day.

---

He was the first to wake up of the two. The sight of her tangled in his bedsheets and arms made his heart want to sink. What if he'd ruined it with a drunken mistake? He grounded himself with a deep breath, hoping she wouldn't freak out once she awoke.

About 20 minutes later, Y/N began to wake up. She looked around confused for a moment, until her eyes met a very familiar pair of brown ones. Oh shit, she thought to herself, I've fucked everything up. She went to try and speak or stand up, but she felt Carlos' hand on hers, stopping her.

"Look Y/N, I know this is..."

"Carlos, I'm so sorry, I'll leave ri-"

"Cariño, relájate (darling, relax)...look, I don't know if i can keep lying to myself and you. I like you, a lot. And it just seems so stupid to me because you're on of my best friends in the whole world, friends shouldn't want each other the way I want you. It felt like it just blew up in my face after you did that photoshoot for Mercedes with Lewis, and all the stuff that's been happening. It just made me feel so...like I needed to have you all to myself. But at the same time I don't want to ruin what we have, so if you don't feel the same just forget this ever happened..." He kept going on his rant, and she just stared at him a little bewildered yet flattered.

"Carlos...who said I don't like you like that?" She giggled, taking his hand in hers once again. He looked into her eyes with a wide-eyed and relieved look, smiling brightly as he took her face into his hands and gently kissed her. He pulled back seconds later.

"I'm going to fast, aren't I?" He said with a bashful look to him.

"I mean...we're already here, so might as well" She smiled up at him with the warmest smile and the most loving eyes. If anyone happened to see the pair they'd think they were soulmates, which they very possibly were. And so in that moment, Carlos thought to himself, maybe it's not nothing anymore.

#f1 x reader #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz imagine #f1 #carlos sainz

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lvrsparadise · 10 months

Text

'JEALOUS' - M.S

Synopsis - She's always liked him.

Warnings! - Profanity, kissing, reader being jealous, Matt n reader being cute, fluff

A/N - Okay. I want to kms because I had originally written out something so beautiful for this. And then I accidently deleted something, and I forgot that if I press control z it ERASES THE WHOLE DAMN THING! So, this is a re-write. Enjoy!

Work was so tiring. I got cut from the floor at 7 instead of 9, when I was supposed to get off, because I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. And not to mention the weird drunk creep who kept asking my co-workers and I, very uncomfortable questions. I sigh as I clock out of the system and grabbing my stuff before saying bye to my co-workers.

I walk out the back to my car. I open the driver door and throw my stuff in the passenger seat. I just sit there and recollect myself before I put the key in the ignition, turning on the car.

Thee drive back to my house was quiet. I didn't have the radio on, I didn't have the windows down. I wasn't even on the phone with anybody. Today was that stressful.

'I'm going to have to ask my maneger for more hours next shift.'

I pull into my driveway and grab my stuff, turning off the car and walking to my front door. I open it and am immediately bombarded by my puppy, Sam, and my cat Mr. Murray.

I set my stuff down on the couch before walking upstairs to my room. I get undressed and hop in the shower. After my very refreshing shower, I throw on some comfier clothes - a pair of pink and black plaid pajama pants, a white tank top, and one of Matt's hoodies he left over.

I flop on my bed with a sigh. I sit up and open my phone, opening my messages app before clicking on Matt's contact. Matt is my brother's best friend. Well, actually, Chris is my brother's best friend, but I learned that they're a package deal. Get one, get all.

1 ring. 2 rings.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

I breathe out a small sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

"Hey. Yeah, no everything's fine. I've just had a stressful day and I was wondering if we could go for like a drive or something?"

"Yeah, no that's fine. I'll be over in 10."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Always."

That's the last thing I hear before the line goes dead. Knowing he's going to be here in less than 10 minutes, I slip on my converse and head downstairs.

I love on and play with Sam and Mr. Murray for about 5 or 6 minutes before I hear a car pull in my driveway. I instantly recognize it as Matt's car. I grab my wallet, just in case, my keys, and my phone, placing all of them in the pocket of the hoodie. I hear a knock at my door and Sam barks. I yell out his name to get him to stop barking as I open the door.

There he is. Looking perfect as ever. Even in sweats and a hoodie. He's wearing that damn smile. One I return gratefully.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I close my door behind me as I walk out, locking it as well before I walk over to the passenger side of the car. I get in and so does Matt. He pulls out of my driveway and starts driving around with no destination.

"How was your day? Why was it stressful?" He turns is head towards me as we're at a red light.

"Well, I got cut from the floor early because we were dead, and I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. I also had to work with that one girl I told you about. She made the day ten times worse. And this morning, Sam thought it would be nice to wake me up with a surprise next to my bed." I rest my elbow on the center console, resting my chin on my hand as I look out the window.

"Yikes." I hear him say as the light finally turns green and we start driving again.

"What about you? Anything fun happen?"

"Chris almost like, broke the ceiling in the warehouse."

"How in the hell?"

"I have no idea; I wasn't around when it happened. But Nick was and he kept making jokes about it reminding Chris that he did it. It was hilarious." He chuckles quietly.

"I bet."

"Oh shit."

"Hmm?" I turn my head towards him, his gaze switching between the road and the dashboard behind the steering wheel.

"I'm almost out of gas. I think I have enough to get us to that 7-11." He jerks his chin towards a 7-11 that's not too far. It's dark out, not many cars are on the road, the gas station seems empty.

He pulls into the gas station, pulling up to a gas pump. He turns the car off after rolling down the windows a little bit. He gets out and walks over to the pump, which is next to me because for some reason, the gas tank is on the right side of his car instead of the left. So, as he fills the tank up, he's also leaning on my window, talking to me.

"Did anything interesting happen in your day though?"

"Um, let's see. Oh, there was this older gentleman who tipped me $25 for being the best server he's had. He was celebrating his anniversary, but he said that his wife had passed away a few years ago. So, every year on their anniversary, he goes out and gets himself a meal. It was so sweet, it almost made me cry."

"Wow. That does sound swe-"

He's cut off by a girl walking up to him, looking to be around our ages, maybe a year or so older. She's talking with hi and flirting with him. I feel my blood run cold with jealousy at the realization she's flirting. Matt's hand is like holding onto the window, his hand partially in the car. I take advantage of that and I somewhat intwine our fingers, my own mindlessly playing with his.

Either she can't see me through the somewhat tinted windows, or is openly ignoring my presence, she asks him out to dinner. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine back. I hear him say 'Oh, I can't sorry. My girl is in the car' and my heart skips a beat. Multiple beats actually.

He finishes filling most of his tank and pays before walking over to the driver's side as quick as he can speed walk without running. He turns the car on at lightning speed. He starts to drive off to my house.

The drive is silent. Other than the really quiet hum f whatever is on the radio, there is not a peep coming from either of us.

About halfway through the drive back to my house, he reaches his right hand over the center console and grabs my left hand, interlocking our hands before resting them on his thigh. My chest is filled with butterflies. My head is empty. I feel my face heat up as I turn to look out the window next to me.

We pull up to my house. As soon as he puts the car in park, I'm out the car and making a b-line for my front door, unlocking it in record time. I didn't realize Matt was hot on my heels until I turn to close the front door, his hand stopping it. I sigh in defeat knowing I won't win. He pushes the door open and then walks in, closing it behind him.

"Were you jealous?"

"What? I have no Idea what you're talking about Matt." I place my wallet and keys on a table I have next to the door for that reason. Of course, I was jealous, but I would never admit it out loud. Especially to the guy I was getting jealous about.

He shakes his head and crosses his arms "Wrong. Were you jealous?"

I roll my eyes slightly "Matt- I don't get why you're asking me this. It would be the same if it were me-"

"No, it wouldn't."

"Wha-"

"A guy touches you? Jealous. A guy flirts with you? Jealous. Takes you on a date? Kisses you? I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. How have you not known? I'm not very secretive about it at all. Now I'm going to ask you one last time. Were you jealous?" His voice, despite being stern and angry, it still is soft and kind.

I sigh in defeat, crossing my own arms, mirroring his pose. "Yeah. I was. I was very jealous."

There is nothing said after that. And there doesn't need to be. Next thing I know, I'm being softly pinned against the wall and Matt's hands are on me. One on my cheek and the other on my waist. I try to look at the hand on my waist but the hand on my face makes me look into his eyes. He doesn't say much, but words aren't necessary right now. He leans in and kisses me.

The kiss is soft, tender, sweet, and everything a hopeless romantic like myself could ever want. I entangle my hands in his hair, closing whatever space was between us.

After what felt like hours, but was really 20 seconds, we pull back for air. Both of us are panting.

"I'm taking you out Friday. 6:00. I pick you up, with flowers, take you to dinner, then I take you to a 7:00 movie, then we walk on the beach before I take you back home and kiss you goodnight. How does that sound?"

Although my eyes are still closed, I hear the smile in his voice, and at his words I can't hold back a smile of my own. I open my eyes and look into his beautiful blue ones that look like they're the ocean. I swear I get lost in them for a few seconds before replying.

"That sounds perfect."

I don't have a taglist for the Sturniolos!

If you want to be in it, all you have to do is ask! <3

I love all of y'all!

#l writes!#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #wow didnt know i had that in me #props to a tiktok lady for giving me the idea #wow im tired

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thestargayzingheroine · 3 months

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Why A Better World is my favourite "Evil Superman" Story

So in the last two decades or so, there's been a notable amount of dark and edgy stories around superheroes turning evil and whatnot and most of them really love to do their own expies of Superman. I've never been the biggest fans of these kinds of stories.

And then there's the actual stories of Superman and other heroes being outright villains or at least just massive assholes. In recent years, this has been largely thanks to the influence of media like the Injustice Games or the Synderverse DC movies. It's... honestly become a trope I am tired of.

Because you know the damnest thing? There is a story that does all these ideas really damn well and arguably better. It is the two-parter from the Justice League cartoon "A Better World".

Now, I am aware how most people favouring the DCAU has become a bit of toxic nostalgia at times and it's something I myself am trying to work through a bit. But in this case, I do think it's the best idea of doing an evil DC story, much better and more interesting than the Crime Syndicate, who if you ask me are not very interesting, though I do remember liking the Crisis On Two Earths movie a lot, which funny enough, was originally going to be this two parter before various things led to it being canned and then later repurposed as a direct to DVD movie.

Anyway, my main crux of why I love this story is simple... The entire Justice League turns evil... and the reasons are very much in-character for all of them. You look at the scene with Justice Lord Batman for example.

youtube

As fucking evil as the Justice Lords are... Batman can't quite fully hate his alternate self for his reason for taking part in all this being basically one-step further than his own mission, that no child should ever go through what he did. Hell, I recall reading that the reason the writers had Batman drop his batarang at the end of this scene... was because he genuinely wouldn't be able to come up with an argument to that.

youtube

Superman likewise kills Lex Luthor because yeah, Luthor literally exploited the flaws in Democracy and became president of the US, threatening to kinda basically start world war 3. It's obviously horrible... but Superman is a character whose main motivation is making the world a better place. And if people who abuse the systems of power of the world are hurting people, why shouldn't Superman put a stop to that?

And yeah, Superman should obviously never kill, he's the most paragon of paragons of the DC universe, a man committed to always being better than the villains he fights... but this is him pushed to his most logical extreme. Hell, the main Superman knows this and its why Lex used his knowledge of this alternate universe as part of his plan in the season after this, to goad our Superman into crossing the line because yeah, there's a part of him that could go this far.

But right as Superman is about to apparently finish him, the big guy says this.

"I'm not the man who killed President Luthor. I wish to heaven that I were but I'm not."

Because Superman like everyone else, obviously would have those same thoughts and same urges. He's human.

I've kinda gone off Injustice a bit because to be honest... the injustice games were kinda just this but a bit too edgelordy. Hell, in A Better World, Lois Lane still lives and the whole genesis of it doesn't revolve around her getting fridged.

So yeah, A Better World is probably one of my favourite mirror universe stories because of the fact that well... it really is like looking in a mirror and seeing just how easy the greatest heroes can become evil and how they wouldn't be massively out of character doing so. But also it reminds us that as much as this darkness can tempt some of our finest, the ones who don't go down this dark path are stronger in heart than anyone else. Because when the world becomes a dark and horrible place, it becomes very easy to be just as dark. But even though it can be hard to still try and be a good person even in dark times, it's ultimately worth it. Because good always triumphs over evil.

#dc #superman #batman #dcau #justice league #justice lords #essay post #Youtube

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azurlily · 11 months

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Hello! May I ask for stalker/pervert yumeko x fem!reader (sfw And nsfw)

OH HO HO!! YES Y E S YESSSS!!! Sorry I haven't been active, mental health and all, but I'm doing somewhat better and this is one of the first I'm working on to get a good bit of stuff outta my drafts. This isn't all that dark, but I'm still giving a warning. Also(to anyone that actually reads these) this started stalkerish and developed into yandere territory. I apologize, but I couldn't help myself. CNC is briefly mentioned but not gone over.

Stalker!Yumeko Jabami x Fem!reader

Now, this is a somewhat unlikely situation. Yet, somehow, it still happened. So how did this even start, why is Yumeko following you home, why does she get all antsy when she cant be around you?

So many questions, so few answers. The only way to truly get Yumekos attention is to stand out. Not in a way she has already seen before, so there are few ways to do that.

You could have beaten her in a gamble, the higher the stakes the more interested she is. You could have possibly been a kind, and genuinely good person. People like that aren't seen as much at Hyakkaou, so it be someone she is very much interested in. Maybe you're a masochist and you lost to Yumeko, seeing you happy to lose would definitely turn her on and interest her...as long as you're not creepy like Midari.

Anyway, despite whatever peaked her interest about you...yeah you're hers now. So have fun. Yumeko is the last person you'd want to defy, I mean...have you met the girl? At first she isn't obvious about her recognition of you. No, she watches you, she even has others watch you for her. You, wether you're oblivious or not, will still notice odd behavior from those around you.

Maybe some of those ruder to you are nicer, maybe vice versa. It doesn't matter, you're going to realise at some point you're being tailed. When you do, that's when the icy hot hell that is Yumeko Jabami makes me debute to you. Or well second debute.

Before you learn all about her "nefarious" plans and she's still watching you creepily. She goes after you, in more ways than one. She watches you leave ethe bathroom, and go in. Yumeko just wants to make sure you're not being privately bullied...that's all.

She also follows you home, maybe she'll buy(just a reminder Yumeko is rich as hell) a car. One that looks like an everyday car, or an exact copy of one that lives near your house. You wouldn't suspect seeing your neighbors car right behind you...right?

Yumeko is fucking crazy, let's put that out there. I've more than likely said it once, but I'll say it again if needed. She. is. crazy. So after she's is caught stalking you, she wont lie. She'll tell you straight up, she's in love, well her idea of love. Her fucked up, disgusting idea of love. Yumeko is very blunt, she explains her intentions and what she wants. At least what she things she wants.

Whether you choose to date her or not essentially decides the outcome of your little interaction. Saying yes, immediately fucks you over, she no longer has to hide her stalker tendencies. Saying no, well she'll pretend she didn't hear it and the next day at school Yumeko announces your relationship.

She's also very touchy(yes, she's a pervert too) she likes putting her hand up your skirt and will smile. Yumeko likes to hig you from behind, why? Because that means she can touch your tits. Big or small, nonexistent or very obviously existant. She loves your chest, she love you, and therefore any and every part of you.

She likes to show you off, by that I mean she'll kiss and love on you while she's gambling. You just look so cute to her, shaking and looking away in embarrassment.

I feel like Yumeko as a stalker is giving her yandere tendencies, but toned down. She goes from stalker to the well known term: crazy girlfriend. She needs you round all the time, she cant gamble without you. She can't walk home without you, she hates leaving you.

You're her lucky charm, you make things better. She can talk about her sister, how she really feels. She doesn't always need to smile and act dopey. She can be anything without worry...and if you dislike something she cant just tie you up and have you miss a few school days...

Now, Yumeko is a less than savory person when you think about it. While she does her best to love you in every way she knows. It takes her a while, especially if you said no to dating her at first. She really cant help herself, she wants to show you things...but how can she trust you?

I'd say it takes months before she finally tells you everything, well everything that you didn't know. She trusts you to tell you hoe she really feels, hoe her fucked up mind decided you were her chosen protector.

Even if she was stalking you a lot to begin with. It was all in good faith, I mean look now. You two are inseparable, not that she let's you leave her, but that doesn't matter.

In her eyes, you're perfect, no matter the horrible things she's done. No matter how much she touches you in odd and somewhat disturbing ways. You don't leave, she'd die if you did. Yumeko Jabami, current heiress to the Jabami clan.

She has put so much effort into you, into helping you gamble, helping you with debt, helping you with class work. She cant leave you...and if she has to strike a deal for a student life plan. All to keep your with her. She will.

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD

Sex is something else with her. Yumeko being the person she is, I highly doubt she's a virgin. No, she's had her fair share of men and women. Learning that she was particularly interested in girls help in her decided what to do with her interest in you.

Yumeko knows how to work your body. She puts on the cutesy loving girlfriend act...then eats you until you're trying(and failing) to pull her head away. Yumeko loves oral so this just makes things all the more fun for her.

Now of course just because she favors orla doesn't mean she doesn't like other things. When you two start dating she no longer needs to watch you as you go home...no she can drive you home herself. And she can also make you ride a vibrator the entire ride.

Yumeko loves humiliation(especially the stalker/pervert version of her) the idea of you crying and shaking after you been riding a toy for hours. She's been laughing at the faces you make, the whines, she'll pull on your hair and call you a slut.

Maybe take a few pictures, she loves to look through them during class when she's bored.

Oh, but seeing you all needy in public riles her up too. You're horny in public, maybe at school? Bathroom. She'll fuck you in the stall and then take a picture so she can create and album of you in the future. She likes to write the exact date and time of your little game.

Going back to the humiliation thing, if you end up doing it in a school or public bathroom. Prepare yourself, she taunt and belittle you.

You'll be so shaken up from her fucking you though, you hear very little of what she's saying. Whether that is a blessing or a curse is entirely up to you.

If it wasn't already obvious, one of Yumekos universally favorite things to do is overstimulation. Seeing you beg for mercy(that you will not be getting) after 5 orgasms is the best thing to ever grace her ears. It's an intoxicating sound, keep making it. The more you beg for mercy the longer it'll take for her to even want to stop.

Yumeko is a dominant and sadistic person in general. That goes over to the bedroom too. We see Yumeko get horny off of gambling, so she most definitely does a small coin flip or some form of small gamble.

It could decided whose on top(even though in the end you'll be bent over her knee crying her name), maybe it decides what toys you use, maybe if you win the gamble Yumeko wont punish as hard...

"So good for me, my good girl! Aww, are those tears for me? Thank you, I'm glad you know you place, sweet girl!"

She likes to mix praise in with her degradation. Calling you a mixture of darling, baby, good girl, sweetie, sweet girl, my love, sweetheart, princess(her favorite), ect. She has an extremely large variety of words for you. In and out of bed.

Stalker!Yumeko most definitely has a consent non-consent kink. I am not interested in getting into that unless specifics asked. Do with that information what you will.

Anyway, Yumeko and cat ears are like the ocean and salt. You can't really have one without the other. While Yumeko uses her money to buy you expensive lingerie sets, she also buys you cute costumes.

Maid, puppy, kitty, ect. She will dress you up with dog ears and an anal plug tail, or cat ears and an anal plug cat tail. Maybe even a bunny suit...definitely a bunny suit. Yumeko will also dress up if you ask, anything you want.

If you like the idea of a cute bunny girl dominating you until you (s)cream... Yumeko can and will do everything to set that fantasy up.

Now aftercare with Yumeko is an interesting situation. At first she doesn't know what it is, no matter if she's been with men or women. Top or bottom. She's never understood why she needed to care for someone. Mainly because she never cared for the others like she does you.

Yumeko loves you, therefore she does research into aftercare. Mainly out of fear that you'll slip into sub drop. She does her best with food and comfortable clothes, a warm bath and good television. She knows that isn't all that's required though, she reminds herself that you need to reminded you're loved.

All in all(and I do genuinely believe this) Yumeko is a good lover. Stalker!ver or not. She does love you, Yumeko shows her love to those she cares about. It's different and sometimes weird, and sometimes it's completely stupid and makes her look dumb. She does understand things better than you'd think.

Hi I'm updating again. This is one of the many in my inbox, after I get down to a decent and not so overwhelming number I will begin to open my inbox(commissions will stayed closed. You can request like normal when I open requests again, I'd like to build a bigger platform before I do commissions.

If you want to be told exactly when this comes out I'm now willing to @ you. So just ask in the comments and I will add you for every post after this one.

#wlw #lesbian #yumeko x reader #fem reader #kakeguri yumeko #yumeko jabami #yumeko jabami x reader #im bad at this #women are hot #i cant write #kakegurui headcanons #kakegurui #kakegurui x y/n #i finally posted #its been months

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sunny44 · 5 months

Text

Marriage (Part 8)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: fights and that’s it

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

I didn't have the courage to take the test.

It had been two days since the event, and I sat on the bed, staring at a pregnancy test kit, trying to gather the courage to use it.

Mason was at training, and despite being invited by Red Bull and wanting to avoid Max, Mason's media team insisted that attending the Monaco GP would be good for his image.

That was the reason for our trip.

I used the opportunity when I needed to pee and took the test. Once done, I put it back in the box and tossed it into my bedside table.

I spent the day working to distract myself. I only realized it was evening when I felt a kiss on my forehead.

"Been here all day?" he asked.

"Yeah, had a lot of work," I replied.

"Have you eaten?"

"I only noticed the time because you arrived," I said. He chuckled and kissed my forehead again.

"Well, then I'll get something for us to eat, and you stay right there."

I continued working until he left, only stopping when he returned and we had dinner.

After we finished, we went to the bedroom. I took a shower while he got ready to sleep.

"Love, can I borrow your charger? Can't find mine." he asked.

"Sure, it's in my bedside table, first drawer." I shouted back.

After drying my hair, doing my skincare and getting dressed, I went to the room. Mason was sitting on the bed with a paper in hand and a displeased expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Mind explaining what this is?" He stood up and practically threw the paper at me.

It was the letter.

I took a deep breath, realizing Mason had found the letter. The atmosphere in the room shifted, filled with unspoken tension.

"Mason, I..." I began, but he interrupted.

"Just explain what the hell this is." he insisted, eyes fixed on the letter.

I walked over, took the paper, and glanced at the content. I hadn't read it since he handed it to me. It probably contained words and apologies Max wanted me to know, and my heart raced.

"It's a letter." I stated the obvious, trying to buy time to gather my thoughts.

"I can see that." he replied with a touch of frustration. "But it's a letter apologizing and also a letter saying he still loves you."

Taking another deep breath, I decided to be honest.

"Max wrote this letter to me some time ago."

"How long ago?"

"Do you remember when I told you I became friends with Lando?" He nodded. "We hung out that time because he insisted on introducing me to his best friends that ended up being Max and Daniel."

"What does that have to do with the letter?" He asked, frustrated.

"After the party that he introduced us he talked to Lando about what happened. He made him help him meet me to apologize. So, he said he wrote this letter and handed it to me, but I didn't have the courage to open it."

"And why did you keep it?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe one day I'd have the courage to read it and that’s why I kept it. Perhaps I felt I needed a reminder of how things were before."

His expression changed from frustration to anger.

"You kept a letter from your ex in our house? Are you serious?"

"I was unsure what to do with it and couldn't bring myself to throw it away, so I kept it. It's a piece of the past I kept hidden."

"Why hide it, then? Why keep secrets from me?" Mason's frustration grew. "You lied again about this. Not long ago, you argued with me for defending you and then you do this, keeping his things."

"I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want to burden you with my past." I explained.

He sighed, clearly upset.

"Y/n, we promised transparency. Keeping something like this from me... hurts."

"I'm sorry, Mason. I should have told you about this and I know this now." I admitted, feeling a pang of guilt.

"But it's always going to be like this, isn't it? You lie to me about him, and it makes me think you still love him even after he left you at the altar like an idiot," he said angrily. "You were supposed to tell me about him years ago and then when I found out on the internet I’ve try to be cool with it because I saw how much it hurts you, even if I was angry that you e lied to me. And now this, im your fiancé and u was supposed to be the one you trust to tell me this things but apparently lying to me it’s easier for you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I honestly don't know if I can still do this."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know if I can marry you." I felt tears fill my eyes. "I don't know if I can marry someone who lies to me."

"Mason, I..."

"I need some time." He left the room, leaving me there alone.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername Instagram stories

“So much work that I’m starting to get crazy”

Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @christianpulisic10 @gaslysainz @fanboyluvr @urgirlceci @justdreamersdream @aundercoverosh @newlifeforus @depressedriches @topguncultleader @luvrrish @tyna-19 @esposadomd @formulas-bitch

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ellebakers · 2 years

Text

☆ I love you even more (+18)

Jake Seresin x reader

Summary : When your ex, Luke, tries to get you back, Jake, your friend with benefits, is ready to fight for you.

Warnings : +18 smut, language, fluff.

Monday morning is something you hate, but today is worse. You have cramps everywhere due to the frenzied evening you spent the day before with Lieutenant Seresin. You didn't know how it was possible but even your scalp hurt like hell, in fact, you knew how it was possible, it was probably due to the violence with which Jake had pulled on your hair when he took you from behind against the kitchen island. As you reminisced about the night before, someone sat down next to you.

"Hello my dear" You know this voice, it's the same one that, less than 24 hours ago, whispered to you "You're so perfect like that, screaming my name"

"What do you want Bangman ?" Jake leaned slightly towards you "Just remind you that you forgot that at my place" You frowned and looked down at where Jake had been pointing. You stifled a cry of horror when you saw your panties in his left hand, panties that he obviously ripped off of you last night.

"Hide it ! are you completely sick or what ?"Jake laughed, but put what was yours in his pocket.

"Alright, let's get to the point, today we're going to welcome a new member" exclaimed Maverick who had just arrived in the shed. "Welcome Lt. Duke "Rider" Cameron"

Holy shit…

Phoenix, your best friend turned to you, with wide eyes. It couldn't be, it couldn't be him. Not the Duke who broke your heart years ago. A rather muscular man with brown hair approached Mav and shook his hand. As he nodded to your colleagues, his gaze fell on you. As your heart raced, you felt not one, but two pairs of eyes on you. Indeed, Jake had noticed that something was wrong. He didn't like this guy, he didn't like the way he was looking at you, no one had the right to look at you like that except him.

"Who is this ?" he whispered to you

"My ex"

Hangman clenched his jaw at your answer. "What is he doing here?"

"No ideas…"

Phoenix, who had listened to your conversation and knew what was going on between Jake and you, turned to you "He may have come here to win you back" She knew Duke was a bastard, but what she also knew was that making that kind of comment would piss Hangman off, which might finally make him confess his feelings for you. She had no idea how her plan would work..

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Once the meeting is over, you fasten to go to the locker room, but Duke, who had every intention of winning you back, followed you, what Jake noticed.

"Y/n" Keep walking, don't stop, you thought. But Duke grabbed your arm and turned you to him.

"What? What do you want?!"

"Talk to you"

"No, now get off me"

"Y/n, I screwed up I know it and I blame myself. But if I came here it's because I knew you would be there, and I really want you to give me a second chance"

You looked at him like he was crazy "Do you honestly think I'm going to give you a second chance, after what you did!"

Duka sighed "It was an accident and-"

"Oh you mean you slept with my sister by accident? Like, you slipped and fell cock forward inside her"

"I-"

"It took me a while to get over it Duke, but now I'm happy, so stay out of my life"

"Happy? Really? Y/n I know it's not true, you may be happy at work, but not emotionally -"

"How do you know ?"

"Please, you haven't even been in a relationship since-"

"Angel, is everything okay?" Duke and you turn to whoever just spoke, it was Jake.

"Yes do not worry"

The blonde got next to you and put his arm around your waist, which surprised you, usually Hangman wasn't demonstrative, which made sense since you two aren't in a relationship. He smiled at Duke and held out his hand. "Pleased, Lieutenant Jake Seresin, callsign Hangman and" He paused before continuing to take the time to push a small lock of hair out of your eyes. "Her boyfriend". There was a long silence, Duke kept looking between you and Jake.

"Well, delighted. Lieutenant Duke Cameron, callsign Rider, and, Y/n and I were-"

"I know"

As you were about to speak, Rooster approached you. Noticing how close you and Jake were, he frowned but didn't ask.

"Y/n, Mav wants to see you"

You sighed "Ok, thanks roos"

You turned to Jake and Duke

"Excuse me"

"See you later baby" Hangman exclaimed.

The two men watched you walk away, and once you were a good distance away, Jake turned to Duke, his gaze dark.

"Look, I know why you're here, but I'm stopping you right now, she's out of reach for you. You had your chance, but from what I understand you were dumb enough to screw up. But I should thank you, your loss, my luck. So stay away from her, or you'll have to deal with me, okay?"

"Okay" And with that, Duke walked away, fist clenched and ego shattered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

An hour later, you're sitting on the locker room bench as Phoenix tells you, word for word, the conversation she overheard between your ex and Jake. Once finished you shiver "Why did Jake tell him that?" Phoenix rolled her eyes "You moron! Bangman is in love with you"

"What? No, you're wrong"

Again Natasha rolled her eyes "So when you do something and your eyes are elsewhere, he looks at you as if you are the most beautiful thing he has seen. He is the one who proposed your small arrangement, all just because he's afraid to confess his feelings to you and it was the only way to have you all to himself, then today his jaw was so tight when he saw Duke coming towards you, whom she almost broke. And without forgetting the number of times he asked you to come and spend the evening with him, without sex, just you and him, and you tell me i’m wrong about the fact he’s in love with you ?"

"I don't know Nat"

"Do you love him ?"

"You know very well that, yes"

"So ! What’s the problem ?"

You groaned getting up to change "The problem is, let's say you're right. Ok Jake loves me, but what if he ends up getting bored, I don't want to go through another breakup, it hurts too much"

"Honey, if Bangman ever breaks your heart, I'll break his bones." You laughed at that "But seriously, you're one of the best pilots, you're hot, smart, nice, how could he get bored. You were made for each other"

"Nat–"

"Do you want to know something?" You nodded "I promised Bangman not to say anything, but you need to hear it. One evening at the bar, he came to get drunk because you had argued. I asked him his intentions with you, he m said, and I quote: She's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, I can't get her out of my head. I think about her all day, and when I manage to sleep, I dream of her, I dream of being able to introduce her to my family, of asking her to marry me! Me who chained sex plans before meeting her. I only have eyes for her. She's so perfect that it scares me, scared that one day someone will take her from me."

You bit your cheek to stop yourself from crying, so it was true, Jake really loves you "Thanks Nat" You hugged her, once separated, she laughed lightly and said “He also told me that you are the best sex of his life” You laughed while wiping away the tears that had, despite your efforts, flowed.

"I love him so much, if only he knew"

"I think now he knows" The brunette told you. You frowned, not understanding what was going on.

"He's been on the phone with me since the beginning"

"What ?"

"He's in the gym. You should go join him"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Natasha was right, Jake was sitting on a bench in the gym, when you walked in he turned his head towards you. He stood up as you approached him.

"Y/n I–"

You cut him off by kissing him. When you pushed yourself to breathe, he opened his eyes slightly and licked his lips, you rested your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

"I deduce from your kiss, that everything Phoenix told you is reciprocal"

"Why didn't you tell me" Jake took your face in his hands "I was afraid, afraid that you didn't want me anymore" You looked up at him "Lieutenant, I will always want you, I love you more than anything" Jake pressed his lips to yours. He pulled back slightly and whispered to you "I love you even more". Jake kissed you again, then moved his lips to your neck. He sucked the place he knew would drive you crazy and you moaned slightly.

"Jake" He hummed against your skin and slipped his hand under your top "We will not fuck here"

He looked up at you "Angel, we won't fuck, we'll make love from now on"

You shook your head laughing "Then we won't make love here"

He snorted "Like we've never done it before".

You laughed harder and Jake couldn't help smiling seeing you.

He put a hand on your cheek and kissed you again.

"Damn, Coyote you owe me $20" You heard Rooster yelled. You turned around and saw Bradley, Payback, Bob and Phoenix standing by the door with big smiles.

"Damn, he finally had the balls to tell her he loves her ?" Coyote says running in the direction of the gymnasium to come and see.

Jake frowned and spread his arms quizzically. "Would you mind if you left us some privacy" The group growled but obeyed anyway "Privacy." sneered Rooster "Like we never heard them fucking" He said it softly, but you heard it anyway.

Jake closed his eyes "I'm going to kill him"

You shook your head smiling.

"What if you take care of me instead Lieutenant" Hangman bit his lip, then picked you up, put you on his shoulder and slapped your ass.

"I love it when you call me that".

#hangman x reader #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun x y/n #top gun x reader #jake seresin x y/n #hangman x y/n

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nights-at-crystarium · 3 months

Text

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

#personal #text post #nextlvl rambles

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anonauthorsworkshop · 2 years

Note

May I request headcanons for SCP-049 x injured! junior researcher reader (gender neutral)?

I'm thinking y/n gets hurt during a breach and 049 finds them scared and in pain. Unable to move from their injuries, y/n cannot run away. They have no choice but to accept their fate.

sure!!

You think you're the dumbest employee here.

You know you were supposed to head to the breach shelter. But you're still new to this job, and you got a little lost.

Okay, maybe 'a little' was an understatement. You had no idea where you were going.

You, of course, managed to make your situation even worse. You ran into a ragtag group of rogue D-Class, who decided it was a great idea to take your keycard.

Which is fine. Not great, but fine. You were still alive.

Well, barely. Because they also decided to slice you up before they stole your belongings.

And that's why you're slumped against the wall, waiting until someone finds you. Or until you bleed out. Either works.

You don't know how long it was until you saw someone again. But when you did, you were overjoyed. At last, you're saved- aaand of course it's not a human. That's 049.

Now, since you're a junior researcher, you've mostly been shadowing at your job. You've seen 049 during a few of your shadowing sessions before. That's the only reason why you recognize him.

Well. Nothing you can do. It's not like you can move with your injuries. Maybe he'll turn you into one of his zombies or something. Hey, think on the bright side! You'd be useful to someone after death.

You close your eyes. You may accept your death, but there's no way you're staying awake for it.

When you open your eyes, it's bright.

You sit up, wiping at your eyelids. What the hell-

“Careful, doctor.”

You almost give yourself whiplash from how hard you turn your head.

“You should not be moving so soon,” 049 says, gazing at you with folded hands.

You blink. You need to process this situation.

You’re sitting on a table. 049 stands across from you. His bag is by his side, where he keeps his surgical tools.

His surgical tools.

Oh, god.

You lift your shirt, exposing your stitched stomach.

You were right. He stitched you up. What in the world have you gotten yourself into?

“Doctor,” he blurts, seemingly flustered. “I understand you may be panicked, but please pull down your...”

Whoops.

“You are in my cell,” he explains. “I brought you here.”

Maybe this is a fever dream, you think.

He holds a vase of lavender, extending it to you. “It will calm you.”

You grab it from him, making sure not to touch him in the process.

Huh. He’s right. The smell of lavender is pretty calming.

“Why’d you help me?” you manage to ask.

“You are a fellow doctor, and you were in pain.”

He cares?

You hum. Maybe you could ask him some more questions. It’d be just like conducting an interview!

Kind of.

“I’m not really ‘official,’ though.” You shrug. “I’m a junior. Not much doctor experience here.”

He laughs. “You remind me of myself when I started my journey. Being a junior does not make you any less of a doctor.”

He slings his satchel over his shoulder, moving to sit beside you.

“You still seem tense,” he remarks. No surprise there.

“Here, let me tell you a story of when I was a ‘junior.’ Perhaps you will learn from my experience. There was a time in France...”

For the remainder of the breach, he tells you of his old travels. You find yourself at ease, listening to his reminiscing with a smile.

This job wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

#anonymous #answered #ask #author #headcanons #scp #scp foundation #scp x reader #scp 049 #scp 049 x reader

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nicosraf · 6 months

Note

You inspire me…. Any advice for writing books ?

!! I'm honored u get a little inspiration from me! That's very sweet of you.

I struggle with advice because I've only written about 5 books and published... two-ish. (An old fanfic and ABM, which as you know is basically fanfic). But I think I have some specific advice since I'm revising right now and have a lot of thoughts... Here is what works for me (!):

Outline. I know it sucks but... please try it. (Or you'll end up like GRRM).

Draft without going back to read what you wrote, or at least don't read your unfinished manuscript in full. You will want to edit it. Don't edit it. Yes it sounds bad; yes you used the same word 8 times in a paragraph by accident; yes you can see a major plot hole. Don't fix it yet, maybe write it down somewhere so you don't forget to fix it later. You need to avoid editing while drafting or you will never finish the draft. This is the biggest advice I can give anyone, especially if you haven't written your first book yet.

Give each character a strong backstory, even if it never shows up in the plot. Sounds obvious but sometimes I have to remind myself of this.

Give your characters friendships, not just romantic relationships. Include tender scenes with friends.

A lot of writing is tedious and boring. Drafting is hard, editing is hard. You have to be disciplined. But finding motivation is also hard. Don't motivate yourself using the dream of a fanbase or the dream of becoming famous. You're setting yourself up to be hurt. (Not because any of that is impossible but because achieving it in the way that you dream is virtually impossible.) Motivate yourself using something more personal, if you can.

Re-do your outline after you draft. Why? Because you probably changed things while you drafted, you probably made some stuff up on the spot, character dynamics changed, etc. A new outline is good because you can see the story you actually wrote, which is helpful for editing for plot cohesion, moving scenes, adding and removing stuff.

Your draft is going to be bad. Don't freak out. Drafts are always bad. You're going to want to analyze the hell out of it though. What did you plan, what did you write, what worked, what didnt work, what themes are on the page, what themes should you remove, what themes should you amplify.

When editing a scene isn't working, rewrite it entirely. Yes it's more work. You'll be much happier though, I promise.

The first to second revisions should be for plot and characters and pacing; these should take the longest and be the most difficult. The last third to fourth revision should be about prose. Don't focus on prose when you're trying to fix the plot.

Let characters fuck up unforgivably.

Consider your audience heavily when you edit, but don't consider them when you draft.

I've given this advice before but when it comes to plot devices/objects, you want to give each device a moment of introduction, a moment where it's recalled, and a moment of use. (Ex. A knife is introduced in chapter 1, its mentioned again casually in chapter 7, then it's used to kill someone in chapter 14.) This is mostly to give each object its own arc that feels satisfactory but ur the boss about what works best.

Kill all your characters, but not physically (unless you want to). Make them change so much that, by the end, they would barely recognize who they were at the start.

This is book advice for the type of books that I've written. Things are very different if you're writing, say, contemporary romance, but I think this list is pretty general !! I hope it helps. Good luck!!

#mine #ask #writing

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jazz-miester · 1 year

Note

Nsfw One-shot with Bayverse!Optimus, please;)

BtwI’m OBSESSED with your works. I LOVE EM.

I Have Found My Peace In You

Paring: Bayverse Optimus x Reader

Reader type: Gender Nuetral Bot

Song: Would that I- Hozier

Warnings: Smut lol

An: Oh hell yes. Fukin love bayverse Optimus my dude. And i'm glad you like my stuff so much! It means a lot that ya like it lol.

(Also I just did my nails and holy fuck is it hard to type in them. Rip.)

You felt more than saw Optimus come up behind you.His servos settling on your hips before sliding up and over your stomach plating. His helm fell in the crook of your shoulder and neck. His lips pressed to the cabling there. A warm huff of air had you shivering as a smile curved your lips.

"And what are you up to?" Optimus was in a meeting the last time you checked. Something about Autobot and Human alliances that would greatly improve upon the scarce supplies you all had.

You lent back against his chassis as your fingers hovered above the keyboard you were previously engaged with.

"Is it a crime for me to see my Conjunx?" Optimus spoke into your neck. You caught sight of his optics in the reflection of the holo screen. The look of them sent a shiver down your back struts. Often that look was accompanied with your thighs on either side of his helm.

"It is when you are giving me such a look." You could feel him smile. His helm dipping down before nipping at your neck. You yelped and jumped as he soothed it with another kiss. You laughed as smacked at one of his arms wrapped around your waist.

Optimus's response was a laugh of his own and to squeeze your briefly. The sound of it had your spark fluttering. So rare a sound it was anymore. It was pleasant when he did. You couldn't help but wonder what had him in such a light mood.

"Truly, it is your fault. How could I handle myself." He paused pressing yet another kiss to to your neck. "When you are looking the way your are." Optimus couldn't help but find you to be nothing short of divine. The suns low light highlighted all his favorite parts of you. Coupled with the fact that this meeting had actually went well for once. Optimus found himself craving you.

His helm rose digits capturing your chin to turn you towards him. Optimus pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. He took a moment to take all of you in. Optics following the lines and curves of your faceplates. Then there was a tug at your bond. Full of want and desire. Warmth and love. Letting you know just how much he loved you in that moment. The here and the now in between the quiet lull of the war.

"Optimus. I do have reports to finish." They really were not important. You just wanted to tease. You were swiftly turned before your digits could touch the keyboard. The small of your back pressed against it as Optimus leaned forward towards you. You could hear the holo screen going wild until Optimus reached behind you and turned it off.

"The reports can wait." He pressed a kiss to your jaw. One servo traveling over your hip and up your waist.

"Do you really think Ratchet or Lennox would be ok with that?" Optimus huffed an pressed his helm against yours.

"I am the Prime. They can come to me if there is such an issue with it." With a laugh you pulled him in for another kiss. Arms moving to wrap around his neck as he lifted you up by your thighs before resting you on the keyboard.

Foolish decision really. But with him kissing along your neck like this? You were able to discard any real hard feelings about it.

"Oh for the love of Primus. Get a room you two!" Optimus turned to reveal and angry-ish Ratchet. The old war medic was shaking his helm and wagging a digit. Reminding you of one of the old ladies on the rom coms that Bumblebee liked to watch time to time.

"We are in a room old friend. Unless you intend to watch I suggest you leave." You barked out a laugh and smacked his chest with your servo.

"Optimus Prime don't you dare!" You could hear Ironhide laughing while he left just ask quickly as he came pulling a peeved looking Mudflap along with him.

"Absolutely not! I will not have you getting transfluids all over my equipment! Out! The both of you!" Laughing the entire time Optimus pulled you away from the keyboard and holo screen and down the hall. Leaving as you heard Ratchet mumbling about. "A Prime" And "To old to be acting like a couple of younglings freshly bonded."

The short trip down the hall and to the Autobots barracks seemed longer than usual. Then again you were very preoccupied with you lips against Optimus's neck cablings. You could feel his growing heat and hear the hushed growling in his throat.

There was a bond feedback as you felt just how much you were effecting him and honestly you didn't find yourself caring. Instead continuing on with what you were doing with and added roll of your hips against his,

He really did growl then as the door to your habsuit was thrown open. The door all but slammed closed behind the both of you.

You were laid down on the berth with a bit more care and a lot more gently. Optimus hovered above you. His optics cycling as the want went through him.

"Do you realize what you do to me My Spark?" His arms were braced on either side of you. His knees pressed to the berth on either side of your hips. "Truly, you drive me to insanity." His lips found yours. Drawing you close to him. His sweetened breath on yours as his servo came to cradle your face plates before he pulled away. His thumb brushing against your cheek.

"Oh? And you think i'm the unaffected party here?" You turned and pressed a kiss to the palm of his servo. "Really, you've been neglecting me. Being gone for so long." You looked up at him with lidded optics. "You come. Command your troops with that voice of yours and i'm supposed to pretend that i'm ok? It's torture really. I'd imagine it's in that geneva conventions that the humans have."

Optimus laughed. His servo moving away from your jaw to play at the seems on your chassis. "Oh I've been neglecting you now?" His frame moved languidly downwards. Leaving a trail of kisses while he moved before settling between your spread thighs. "Please, allow me to rectify it."

"Mmm. No." Optimus's optics went wide.

"No?" He hummed. "Even if I do this?" His lips pressed against your thighs. To the spot just above your modesty plating. A free servo traveling to the edge of your chassis. Playing at the seems that would lead to your spark chamber.

A surge of pleasure ran through your energy field. The bastard.

Your hips rolled of their own record as he did it again and again. Switching between moving slowly. Smoothly. Like the waves on a calm ocean. Before switching it to a rapid movement. Sure and firm.

Optimus pressed a kiss to your now heated plating. "May I?" He asked. His voice low and hoarse. "Please?" He gave you that same look he had earlier. A soft want pulled at your spark.

You knew that you could end this here. Have everything come to a stop. But then there was the needing. The craving of your conjunx that you have spent to little time with him as of late. Cybertronians are long lived, not immortal.

You let your plating fall back. Both your spike and valve open to the cool air of your habsuit.

Optimus took his sweet time. Trailing kisses to every but the place you craved it most. One servo gently wrapped around your spike as he slowly moved his servo up and down. Taking his time to gather the fluid leaking from its tip before dragging it back down.

Finally. Finally he moved to your valve. Dragging his glossa between your folds before wrapping his lips around your node. He did this again and again as he slowly stroked your spike.

Your hips moved as he did this. Optimus humming as he looked up at you. Watching as you came undone before him. You babbled after a bit. Telling him how much you loved him. Just how good he was and "Oh right there. Please. Frag please don't stop." He hummed again his his digits curled within in you. His mouth now swallowing your spike instead as he pumped his digits in and out of you.

"Optimus.Im. Fraggit." You voice was breathless. Optimus's free servo grabbed one of yours. Settling your joined servos on your stomach as he moved his helm up and down. Optics not once leaving yours as you finally released. Helm thrown back as Optimus swallowed all you had to offer.

"Was that enough of an apology My Spark?" Optimus spoke as he moved upwards. You digits smeared at your own fluids on his face. Wet and shiny it was. The mech always made a mess despite all your complaints. Then again you ever really complained to much. You got to overload repeatedly after all.

"Maybe." You laughed and gave him a kiss. Tasting yourself on his lips as you did so.

"Oh? And what else could you want?" His lips found yours against and again. Your digits dug at every exposed seem of his you could find. Tweaking and pulling at cables and wiring that sent shivers down the Primes frame.

"Your spike. In me." You spoke it near his audial. His mouth once again finding your neck cabling. You hoped that there wouldn't be any bruising. Not wanting to endure the teasing you would sure get from Ironhide and Sideswipe after wards. But after the stunt the two of you pulled in the command center of all places it was sure to happen anyways.

"As My Spark wishes." Optimus pulled himself upwards. Pulling your legs around his hips as he drew you in close. For a brief moment the two of you fumbled with pillows and blankets to place beneath your hips.

His own plating fell back after that. His spike springing out from its housing and bobbing briefly from the force of it.

Optimus moved his spike against your valve. The tip of it brushing against your node had your thighs shivering. Your valve gripping at nothing as you waited for him to finally push into you. You would have began cursing the Prime for not moving sooner until he finally did just that.

He moved slowly. Tourturessly into you. Inch by inch as your valve swallowed him greedily. Optimus paused for a moment when he was full into you. His frame bowed over you. His mouth slightly opened as he cycle cooled air into himself.

Optimus muttered a few curses as he rolled his hips. Dragging his spike against the nodes within you. He did it again and again before pulling out as sliding back within.

He picked up a steady rhythm then. A steady push and pull of his hips.

"Look at you." He muttered. "Taking my spike so well." His vocalizer spat static. His venting just as eratic as yours. "You are doing so good My Spark. Taking me just like that. You feel so good around me." His helm pressed against yours.

"Open your optics." You hadn't noticed that you ever closed this. Enveloped in the pleasure he was bringing out of you. "Open your optics. I want to see you overload. I want you to see what you are doing to your Prime."

He was absolutely undone before you. The crackling charge of your fields in the air. Optimus's optics were blown wide and utterly entranced with your own.

"That's it. That's my good spark. That's it." Optimus rumbled out. His frame shaking from the way he spoke it.

You could feel the growing pleasure coil within you. Winding tighter and tighter with the drag of his hips. Optimus uttered a curse. Then another as his digits found your node. Winding quick tight circles around it until that coil snapped. Broke. Your release followed by his.

He spoke your name. Uttered it like a prayer as your highs came down. Again and again as he kissed along your jaw. His hips pulling away from yours as he fell to your side.

Optimus drew you close to him. Curling his frame around yours.

The two of you laid on your sides facing each other. One of your arms was looped around his. Your other servo cradled his face as he did yours. His other arm was your pillow. Your leg were entwined together as you basked in each others presence.

The two of you said little. As it wasn't needed in the moment. You had almost fallen into recharge if it wasn't for Optimus speaking.

"I am sorry. For not being around more." You could hear the remorse in his voice. You optics opened. Your spark sank and you could feel him on the other side of the bond.

Guilt.

"You are around plenty. Optimus. There is no need to apologize." You pulled him close. Letting him rest his helm against your chassis.

"Still." You stopped him before he could finish.

"Speak on it no longer my Prime. You are here now. And I cherish the time I have with you. It is the effort that you make that brings me peace. Now quiet. Rest. And let me love you." With that Optimus sighed. Wrapped his arms around you and held you close. Basking in the glow of the one his spark was closest to.

#maccadam #valveplug #optimus prime x reader #bayverse optimus x reader #bayverse optimus #smut baby #hope yall enjoy #holy fuck i ahould have made my nails shorter

459 notes · View notes

silentglassbreak · 4 months

Text

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Just having a lovely good time with this. We are getting there, I swear it. 😘 (I promise there’s method to my madness.) Also HEAVILY recommend listening to the chapter song title - especially toward the end of this chapter. Levitate by Sleep Token.

Warnings: No smut today. But I fucking cried writing this chapter, and I hope you do too (I'm so sadistic). Sadness. Graphic descriptions of vomiting and overall being sick. Fluffy, heartache chapter. OH and graphic depictions of violence and blood (in a dream setting, don't stress).

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86 @thisbicc @knivesforapro @diabolicdiatonics

Part 7 - Levitate

At what point do you start drawing lines in the sand? I asked myself that question over and over the past several weeks since the party. Who was fucking with who anymore? I'm certain neither of us really knew the answer.

Mileena was still seeing Justin, our mishap in the bathroom on the 4th being unspoken of again. It never happened. I kept trying to remind myself of that, each time I saw her, the only times our paths crossing being during pick-ups and drop-offs of Addison.

I had fully expected her to become scarce, but to my surprise, she was letting business go on as usual. Even being around more often. Part of me wanted to hope that meant she was slowly inching her way back to me, some undying need inside of her not being capable of keeping a distance. That thought was shut down, however, when Nick mentioned that he was asked to go on a double date with her, Laura, and the Ken doll (my favorite nickname for him).

That came about two weeks after the party, and I just shrugged it off, assuming that meant Mileena had truly forgotten about the bathroom, or was forcing herself to.

Still, she showed up, sometimes spending half an hour or more at the house when dropping off Addie, making small talk with me, once in a while even flirting. It was casual, comfortable, and for some reason, it didn't bother me to know that she was likely fucking that other guy. Something in my gut just told me to be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

So that is exactly what I did. I gave her room to exist, letting myself exist somewhere near her being good enough for me most days. In all honesty, the lack of pushing made some space for a very good friendship that we never gave the chance to grow before. Sure, the attraction was clear, but she started telling me things; things that I didn't get to hear before.

'Nick and Laura are gag-worthy. It's honestly kind of annoying.'

'I'm going to go back to work soon. I got a job offer, but the last two years off have been so heavenly.'

'I miss Washington. We need to take Addie up there to visit Dad.'

She kept throwing that word around. We. I never wanted to bring it up. Never wanted to spook her. Rather, I stood there and listened to her most times, smiling softly at her, loving the way the light filled her eyes when she was excited, or she came in close for a hug whenever she was sad. I took every second. I accepted it graciously, happy to exist.

Today, however, was not a good day. Today, I felt like a bin of hot, rancid, putrid garbage. We were stood in the green room of a venue in Buena Park, getting ready for a pop-up show, when I felt an overwhelming sense of nausea hit me. All day, I had felt off, but had brushed it off as the heat, stress from the show, and exhaustion hitting me all at once. I had slept most of the day, working to get myself out of the funk, trying like hell to prepare for the show, but I couldn't shake it.

Now, feeling my insides threatening to make their way out, my eyes darted around the room frantically, eyes falling on a nearby trash can. I bolted for it, collapsing onto my knees before emptying everything in my stomach into the bin, heaving painfully.

After successfully spitting out the last of the vomit, I sat back on my heels, trying to breathe deeply. My episode had caught Jolly's eye, and he ran over, face cringing at the sight.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I pointed at a stack of napkins on the table behind him, and he handed me a few. I wiped my mouth.

"I don't know, man. I was good, and then I just had to hurl." I was trying to determine if I was done puking, my stomach still rolling around.

"Eat something bad?" Nick had joined us now, hands in his pockets.

"Fuck, man, no idea. I guess." I shrugged, tossing the napkins in the can.

"Do we need to cancel? If so, we need to let Matt know now." Jolly's voice was concerned.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm good. I just need a minute."

"You sure?" Nick raised a brow at me, and I stood up.

"Yeah. You guys got any gum?"

Four songs. I made it that far. I worked so hard, swallowing all of the saliva building in my mouth, keeping my face even. But as soon as we hit Glass Houses, and I had to start screaming, I had to run off stage, emptying my stomach once again into a trash can off of the side. I had thrown my mic hastily on the stage, making it clear that my abrupt exit wasn't planned.

Jolly, still vigorously playing the music, repeating the same riff, stepped off to the side and gave me a glance. I was kneeling, gagging dryly into the can. I saw him motion for everyone to stop. The music and lights cut sharp, and I leaned my head on the cool rim of the metal can, breathing heavily.

Folio stood over me. "Noah?" I looked up at him.

"I can't. I'm so fucking sorry."

He was shaking his head. "No, bro. You're fucking sick."

My body was covered in a slick, disgusting sweat, but I was still shivering profusely. "I'm freezing, dude."

Folio looked up. "Uh, hang on." He jogged off to the side of the stage, returning with my coat that I had discarded after the first track. "Here."

I stood up and pulled it on, not feeling much relief, my skin screaming as the fabric brushed over it. I took a moment to calm my body before walking back out to the stage, the crowd cheering as I did.

I picked up my discarded microphone and waved. "Well," I put a hand on my hip and huffed a laugh out. "I'm so sorry about that, guys."

The crowd cheered for me, but I was still fighting the feeling of another impending puking spell.

"So, I think I'm sick." I chuckled, and I saw the guys shaking their heads, smiling. Nick was already taking his bass off, and Jolly was walking over next to me. "I'm so sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to finish the show tonight, folks."

It was met with cries of sadness, and I frowned. "We're so sorry." Jolly's voice came through his own mic. "But we will schedule a make-up show. We've just got to keep this guy away from the gas station sushi."

Nick and Folio laughed with the crowd, but I just gagged, pressing it back down. Jolly slapped me hard on the back, which made me flinch.

"We're going to get this guy into bed, guys. But, before we go, we thank you all for being here!" Jolly hollered, and the crowd cheered.

"And can we give it up for Noah, guys?!" Nick hollered out, causing the venue to erupt. I just gave an embarrassed nod and began stalking off stage, feeling another wave oncoming.

Nick drove me home last night, walking me inside to make sure I got into bed properly. I only managed to get my pants, shoes, and shirt off before I folded into bed.

"Alright, bro, I've set a bowl on the nightstand, in case you don't make it, and I've got a water bottle next to you." But I was already half asleep when he left.

I was awoken to the doorbell going off, and I groaned, my back muscles screaming at me, and my stomach rolling inside me when I swung my legs off the bed. My head pounded hard at the sensation of sitting up. I felt truly horrific.

I stepped downstairs slowly, my body aching with each drop of my feet. I rubbed at my eyes against the sunlight, opening the front door.

Mileena stood in front of me, grocery bags in hand, and staring brightly at me, her faced etched with worry.

My eyes widened when I realized. "Oh, fuck! It's Sunday!"

She shook her head. "Oh no, I didn't bring Addie. I didn't want to risk giving her the plague."

I rolled my eyes as she walked past me into the house, closing the door behind her. "Then why are you here? Don't you not want to get it?"

She waved me off, heading for the kitchen. "I'll be fine."

She was back after a second, and I hadn't moved from where I stood by the door, focusing on staying upright as the room started to spin. Her eyes examined my face, a look of sympathy on hers.

"Oh Noah," She rubbed a hand on my shoulder. "you look like shit."

I smirked, my eyes nearly closed. "Thank you for noticing, I feel like it too."

I yawned, stopping it short when I felt as though I may gag again.

"How'd you know I was sick?"

"Nick called Laura last night. Told us about the show. I almost came over then, but Nick said you knocked out pretty quick."

I opened my eyes, then, giving her an inquisitive look. "So, you're here because...?"

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "To make sure you don't die?"

Leena was trying so hard to be convincing, but I still smiled playfully at her. "Oh sure. You're just here cause you couldn't stand the thought of not seeing me."

She rolled her eyes at me, smacking a hand gently on my chest, which made me whine, rubbing the spot. My skin was so sensitive.

I saw her face flinch, realizing I was tender. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry." Her fingers rubbed the spot she hit, but I wiggled away, the contact uncomfortable.

She then pressed her palm to my chest, scrunching her brows. "Jesus, Noah." Mileena grabbed my face and pulled me down, pressing her lips to my forehead - something she always did when checking for a temperature. "Fuck Noah! You're burning up!"

Scurrying into the kitchen, then back to me in a flash, she had the thermometer in her hand, brushing it across my forehead. Everything was happening in slow motion for me, the room still threatening to turn on it's side at any given moment.

"Fuck! 104.9 degrees!" I just nodded dryly, not fazed. "Noah, you may need to go to a doctor."

I groaned, walking over to the couch and sitting slowly. "I just want to sleep."

She followed me, pulling my legs up to stretch on the couch. Her hands grabbed the blanket I kept on the back of it, stretching it out over me. "Fine, but I'm staying with you a while. I don't like that fever."

I scoffed. "I'm not too fond of it, myself."

She grabbed the remote and turned the television on. "What do you want to watch?"

I moaned, absolutely suffering. "Don't care. Whatever you want."

She took up space on the other end of the sectional, tucking her feet underneath her and scanning to Hulu.

"Just nothing about food." I felt my face begin to turn green, and she noticed. She ran to the bathroom, grabbing the trash and placing it near my head on the floor. "Thanks, babe."

I watched her still, glancing at me, wanting to correct me. It was a reflex that I hadn't meant to say, but in my current state, I couldn't find the willpower to care.

She must've known, because she just turned up her lips, and softened her eyes. "Of course."

I let my eyes fall closed, my head calming while I heard the opening to Grey's Anatomy play.

I woke up to a lurch in my stomach, my eyes flying open, and my hand instinctively grabbing the trash, retching hard into it. Not much had come out, mostly bile, as I hadn't held down anything for about thirty-six hours. I opened my eyes, bleary with involuntary tears, and saw the end of the couch empty, but the TV still playing.

"Oh, Noah!" Her feet tapped the floor softly as she ran into the living room.

She circled the coffee table, and sat next to me on the couch, her hand rubbing small circles on my back. Setting the can down, I leaned back on the couch, fighting to get air in my lungs.

"What the fuck?" I grit through my teeth. Her hand was now on top of mine, her thumb massaging into the tattoos on my skin.

"I know. Must be a bad bug."

I leaned down, grabbing the edges of the bag in the can, preparing to get rid of it. Her hands came in, shooing mine away.

"I'll get this. Go brush your teeth."

I stood, running a hand through my sweat-soaked hair, and realized I was still in just my boxers. It hadn't even occurred to me, too sick to realize how gross I must look.

"Sorry you have to see me like this."

She snorted, tying the bag up. "Noah, you watched me give birth. I think we're okay."

I smiled at her tiredly. "You don't have to stay. What about Addie?"

She walked to the front door, slipping on my slides so she could walk outside to the can. "Uncle Jolly and Uncle Folio took her out for the day. Laura told me to stay as long as you need."

I was sick, exhausted, and half-dead, but I couldn't help what came tumbling out of me.

"And what if I never let you leave?"

Her hand hovered over the door knob, her neck twisting so she could look at me, a sad expression on her face. "Go brush your teeth. Your breath is rank."

I smiled. It wasn't a 'no' or a 'shut up', so it was progress.

"I think I'm going to shower, actually."

She just nodded before disappearing outside to dispose of the garbage.

I climbed the stairs carefully, lightheaded. I walked straight into the bathroom, turning the water to scalding, and stripped off my underwear. I glanced in the mirror, cringing at the sight. My eyes held dark, grey circles around them, my hair was visibly greasy, and my lips were pale and chapped.

Real sexy, Sebastian.

While I waited for the water to get hot enough to melt my skin, I brushed my teeth, working hard not to gag again. Once I spit the last of the toothpaste out, I stepped into the hot water and took a moment to adjust. I had a feeling my fever had broken, as my skin didn't hurt quite so badly.

I took time to scrub my body, letting my body calm as I felt the previous day rinse off of me. I quickly washed my hair, not even bothering with conditioning or anything extra. Then, I just stood there, letting the warm water wash over my back, my forehead leaning against the cool tile, zoning out while I breathed deeply.

"Hey." I heard her voice, which I didn't react to. "You alive in there?"

I flipped the handle, turning the water off. My hand grabbed the towel on the hook, pulling it in and wrapping it around my waist before opening the curtain. She stood in the doorway, and I heard her inhale a sharp gasp when her eyes caught me standing, my hair dripping down my face. I flipped it back and eyed her.

"I feel like death."

Her eyes were blown wide, and her lips parted slightly, not responding. Normally, I'd be taking full advantage of the moment. However, I was sure my stomach couldn't handle any sudden movents.

"I, uh," She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "I brought some Zofran. We need to get you to hold something down."

I stepped out of the shower, sighing. "If you think it'll help."

She held a hand out, a small white pill in the palm. I walked over, picking up the tablet and holding it on front of me.

"How do I know you're not drugging me?"

She pursed her lips, smirking. "You don't."

I shrugged nonchalantly, and dry swallowed it.

Standing inches from her, smiling mischievously. "How's my breath?"

Leena grinned earnestly, then. "Better." She lifted a hand to the back of my neck, pulling my forehead down to her lips again. She hummed in approval. "That's better too. Now c'mon," She tugged at my wrist, pulling me out of the bathroom. "let's get you dressed and into bed."

I took note of the sweats, underwear, and t-shirt laid out on the bed. I also noticed the blanket being fresh.

"I changed the sheets for you. They were still damp from you sweating all night. I set up the trash can next to the bed, water on the nightstand. You need to drink it." She was using her Mom voice now, which had me staring at her, amused. "When you're ready to try eating, I've got Saltines, cheese, and a few different soups."

Eyes boring into her, I couldn't help but grin. "I appreciate you, Mileena."

The look on her face told me she was not troubled by any of her efforts. "You know I don't mind." She scanned the room, and began turning around. "I'll let you get dressed."

"Are you leaving?"

She stared at me, her eyes sparkling. "Do you want me to?"

A tinge of red crept up my neck, suddenly shy. "I mean, no?" Breathing out a chuckle, I picked up the underwear, letting the towel drop. Her eyes only flashed down to me for a split second, her throat swallowing hard. "But I get if you need to get back to Addison."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "No," She had her lips held tight together. "I checked in with Laura. Addie's fine. She said I can stay however long."

I nodded. "I've got pants on now." My words were lighthearted, finding humor in the fact that she was trying to preserve my modesty, as if she hadn't seen it all before.

"I figured I'd start disinfecting the living room while you napped."

I sat down hard on the bed, slipping the shirt over my head and wincing, the sensitivity coming back.

"Or, you could watch TV with me."

She stared at me, as if I was insane. "Is that such a good idea?"

I leaned back, pulling myself under the comforter and sinking down into the mattress.

"I mean, if you don't want to catch this crap, I don't blame you."

Sitting next to me on the edge of the bed, she laid a hand on my stomach softly. "I told you I'm not worried about that."

I laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about me trying to come onto you. I get nauseas just breathing. I couldn't imagine what having sex would do."

She let out a hard cackle, smiling with all of her teeth. It was a nice sight to see, even on the brink of death.

"Well," I could tell she was weighing her options. "I guess it's fine. Mind if I borrow some pants? Jeans aren't exactly comfortable."

I just gestured to the dresser. She knew where to find everything. She slipped a pair of joggers out of the drawer, stepping into the closet to change. After, she came over to the bed, her side, and sat on top of the blankets, pushing her pillow up against the headboard, and flipped the TV on.

"Still no requests?" I just shook my head. She started Supernatural, picking up where her and I had left off on the last season, sitting back and watching the screen intently.

After a few minutes, I rolled onto my side, facing her, in a desperate attempt to ease the hard ache in my diaphragm. My body felt sore from dry heaving and the virus that crept through my veins. Eventually, I grew frustrated with the uneasiness each position had me in, growling.

"Come on." She motioned for me to scoot closer, pulling her legs under the covers and half-laying on the pillow. I moved myself to lay my head on her stomach, arm draped over her middle. Her fingers began running through my hair, nails scraping gently over my scalp the way she knew would have me snoozing quickly.

I buried my nose into her shirt, breathing easily. "Hey Leena?"

"Hmm?" She was into the show, but I still couldn't help myself.

"How would Justin feel about us just cuddling?" I smiled, reminiscing of the first time we cuddled on her couch, two years ago.

She snorted, clearly remembering exactly what I was referring to.

"He'll live. You may not. Priorities."

"So I take priority, huh?" My voice was slightly muffled against her, but I was warm all over thinking about it.

"You're the father of my child, Noah. And my best friend. Of course you do."

My hand squeezed her side in a sad attempt for a hug. She gripped my hair a touch tighter at the root, earning her an appreciative moan from me. So fucking relaxing.

"You should get some sleep."

"Are you and him still...a thing?"

I felt her chest heave. "Is that really a good conversation for right now?"

I raised an eyebrow she couldn't see. "We're best friends, right? Just pretend I'm Laura or something."

She laughed at that. "No can do, babe. Laura's prettier than you."

I waved a finger in the air in front of us. "Nuh-uh."

Her body shook with laughter.

"Ah Noah, insufferable as always."

I could only hum at her, my arm falling back to her side.

"You can tell me, Leena. I won't get mad."

Her voice was careful. "Kind of."

"What does that mean?"

"It means exactly that, Noah. Kind of." She sighed. "I like him, but..." She trailed off.

"But what? He’s not as dreamy as you had originally expected?" I smirked at my words, which came out in my voice.

But her words were somber.

"He's not you."

My face fell, processing what she had said.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Her fingers pet my hair softly now, smoothing it down. "Get some sleep, babe. I'll be here."

Even with the firecrackers exploding inside of my chest, the overwhelming exhaustion was taking over, blurring my vision. Sleep overtook me quickly, my eyes closing while her hands soothed me into oblivion.

"I don't love you, Noah. I don't think I ever did."

"She's never going to be with you again."

I pulled at the metal shackles around my wrists and ankles, screaming at the top of my lungs behind the leather bound around my mouth. My skin burned from all over, unable to breathe in enough air to fight any harder.

"This is how you die, Noah. Alone. No happiness. No dignity. No family. You're pathetic." Leena was stood inches from my face, Justin just behind her, staring wickedly.

"She's mine now, bitch."

The veins in my neck strained as I tried to bite down on the bind in my mouth, my flesh bleeding as I pulled against the steel holding them to the table I laid on.

Justin picked up an instrument off of the tray, a long, razor-like blade that looked medieval.

"You deserve this, Noah. For being such a fucking failure." The laugh that pressed out of her was maniacal, bouncing off the hard walls of the dark room. "Addison will never have to see how fucking sad and horrid her father was."

Justin stepped over to me, using one hand to rip the tank top I wore. I pulled harder as he lowered the blade over my stomach.

He smiled at me. "I hope you didn't pay much for these tats, dude, cause they're about to come off."

My eyes bulged, my chest heaving as I shook my head hysterically.

The blade sunk deep into my skin, a sharp, piercing burning flashing over me as I watched the blood pouring out of me.

My screams were wet and desperate, tears flowing down the sides of my face into my hair. I stared at Mileena, begging her to stop this, but she just smiled at me, her yes dark.

"Oh Noah! You're doing great!" Her words were all venom, and I couldn't breathe now, a weight pressing on my chest. I looked up to see Justin pressing his palm down as he dug the blade in deeper, piercing my organs.

Blood pooled in my throat, and I tried spitting it, only for it to fall back down into my mouth, making me choke.

"Noah!" Mileena clapped, smiling wildly. "C'mon Noah!"

"Noah! Noah, wake up!" I felt my body shaking. "Babe! Wake up, honey!"

I startled, my eyes snapping open, and sat up abruptly. My eyes scanned for the trash can, grabbing it and lifting it into my lap, violently throwing up into the bag. I could feel the tears coming out of eyes, and I lifted my head, my body still shaking with sobs.

"Baby," Her hand was on the back of my neck, her voice calm in my ear. "it's okay. Let it out."

Heaving again, I ejected any stomach contents I had before taking a few deep, hard breaths.

"Done?" After a few seconds, I nodded. "Okay, let me take this."

She grabbed the can and stood off the bed, walking back into the bathroom. Returning with toilet paper in her hand, she tore some and handed it to me to wipe my face.

She crawled into my lap, pulling my face into her chest, as I cried hard.

Usually, I try to be masculine about it, crying quietly, privately. However, I was still so shaken by the nightmare, that I let myself wrap my arms around her, wetting her shirt with my hot tears.

She shushed me, rubbing calming circles on my back until I was able to breathe evenly again.

"Bad dream, huh?" I only nodded in response, unable to speak. "Yeah, fever dreams are the worst."

After several long moments, I shifted so she could scoot off of me, standing and heading into the bathroom, running my toothbrush over my tongue and teeth again, washing the taste of stomach acid out of my mouth.

I came back to the bed, pulling her back into me.

"I'm sorry."

We were laid together, tangled on top of the blankets, and she giggled.

"Don't apologize for having a bad dream. You can't control that."

"It was so bad."

She reached a hand up under my shirt, splaying her fingers out on my chest. "Sounded like it. You started screaming."

"Ugh, I'm sorry."

Rather than lecturing me again for apologizing, she just hummed.

"I've got you, babe."

I noticed Supernatural was still on. "How long was I out?"

"About two hours. I think I dozed off a little, too." She traced my skin with a fingertip. "You think you want to try munching some crackers? You're dry heaving so bad because you don't have anything to throw up."

I sighed hard. "I guess."

Another hour, and I was sitting up on the bed, breaking the crackers into four and taking at least fifteen minutes to eat each one. My stomach didn't like it, but needed it. I had earned a love/hate relationship with a sleeve of Saltines, and that's just fitting for my whole fucking life, isn't it?

Mileena was eating a sandwich she had ordered from her favorite spot, pulling pickle slices off of it and popping them in her mouth. We both watched the screen intently, making odd and end comments about the movie we watched.

"This isn't nearly as good as the first one." She spoke around her bite of food.

I shook my head. "Nah. The first Nun was actually a little creepy." I pointed at the TV. "This one is kind of boring, actually.

"Agreed." Leena popped another pickle in her mouth.

I smirked at her. "I still don't get that. Why not just eat them on the sandwich?"

She stuck her tongue out, a perfect round pickle slice sat in the center, and crossed her eyes at me. I stuck my fingers out to pinch her tongue, but she sucked it back in quickly, giggling at me.

Although my stomach still hurt, and wasn't pleased that I had filled it with six crackers and a half of a water bottle, I felt a slight energy surge, so I didn't want to try falling back asleep yet. Not after my last nap. I shuddered at the thought.

Her eyes fell on me, noticing my shiver. "You want to talk about the dream?"

I shook my head, looking down at the cracker I was breaking. "It's fading anyway."

Mileena raised an eyebrow at me. "Mkay, well you let me know if you change your mind." She turned her attention back to the movie.

"What time do you have to go?"

She stood off the bed, balling up the paper from her sandwich, and tossing it in the trash can. "I called Laura after you woke up, and she told me I was fine to stay over if needed. Addie has been really good today, and tomorrow her and Nick are taking the baby to the aquarium."

Expressionless, I tried not to let the hope swell too much in my chest.

Still, I croaked out. "Slumber party?"

She laughed, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door. "Oh sure! We can paint nails and have a pillow fight!" She hollered from behind the door.

"I'm into it!" I yelled back.

"Yeah, well I'm all yours, then."

I smiled triumphantly. If I had known this was how to keep her around, I would've been licking doorknobs ages ago.

She returned, perching back on the bed. Her eyes glanced over to me comfortably, a smooth smile on her face.

"Leena?" She looked back at me over her shoulder. "Seriously, have you told him you're here?"

Her face fell, her gaze dropping to the remote in her hand. "I haven't."

I huffed, leaning back. "Maybe you shouldn't."

Her eyes looked up at me from under her lashes. "Can I be honest with you, Noah?"

My face twisted into a frown. "I expect nothing less."

She turned completely, facing me, and her legs crossed underneath her.

"I'm not good at this." She gestured between us.

I raised a brow. "What do you mean?" I looked over to the nightstand and down at my crackers. "Being a doctor? Could've fooled me."

She rolled her eyes, smiling. "No, dork." She looked back down out her hands. "Being broken up."

My head leaned back against the headboard. "Ah."

"I just," She pressed her lips together. "I miss you. And that makes it so hard, because I know you miss me too. You tell me all the time."

I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. "I do."

"I want to be with you all the time. I think about it all day, every day."

I wouldn't dare interrupt, despite the increasing surge I had to kiss her, touch her, hold her. Anything.

"I damn near talk myself into coming home every day, Noah." Her eyes were getting wetter, and I just wanted to press my lips to her forehead. "But then I remember. Being alone."

My heart twitched.

"I don't know. Justin is...good." Ouch. Didn't need to know that. "He has a good job. He likes me, so much." She rolled her eyes. "He's good-looking, funny. He likes everyone. He respects the hell out of you." Shocking, truly. The feeling wasn't at all mutual.

"But," Her hands fell flat on the bed, a deep breath filling her. "I don't feel what I do when I'm with you."

My face was curious. "And that is?"

"Alive." She stood up then, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the bed. My eyes followed her every move.

"Noah, I spent a long fucking time just...breathing." She stopped, eyes boring into me. "But then I met you, and I felt like something inside me woke up. Like I had been on autopilot, but then, suddenly, I was driving again. At a hundred miles an hour."

I smirked.

"Even now, after all this time, I feel so drawn to you. Like a magnet, or gravity? Maybe that's the same thing, I have no fucking clue."

"It's not. Continue."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but continued pacing. "Either way. I can't find that feeling with him."

She sat on the bed then, right next to me.

"It's like that feeling of being on a roller coaster, when your blood is on fire, and your heart is racing? But then you get off of it? And everything goes back to normal? Do you know what I mean?"

"I do."

"The second I left your hotel room that night, it was like I stepped off the coaster. And for a while, I loved that. It was relieving, not knowing when it was going to drop. It was nice to know that I finally had control." A tear rolled down her cheek. "But then...I hated it. I felt like I was at a standstill."

I lifted my hand, wiping the tear from her cheek, using the other to rest on her shoulder.

"But every time I saw you," Her voice cracked, wet. "it was like I was awake again; alive."

She shook, a cry breaking through her. I pulled her, then, bringing her in close to me. I held one arm around her body, locking her in close to my chest. My other holding the back of her neck, squeezing gently to comfort her as she cried.

"I got you, Leena." I whispered in her ear. "I'm right here."

Her hands gripped my shirt tight, legs pulled up underneath her.

"Babe," I pulled her up so I could look into her eyes. "I know this is so hard. But it's truly whatever you want. Whenever."

I pulled her back down.

"I'm always here, just for you."

She laughed then, a sarcastic sound. "Noah, I can't ask you to sit around and wait for me to figure my shit out."

"You don't have to."

This made her cry harder, and I squeezed her tight.

"I love you Mileena. More than life itself."

Her voice was strained. "God, I love you so much, Noah." She cried between her words. "I miss you so much it hurts."

I felt my own tears brewing. "I know. I do too." I inhaled hard, trying to hold my own hurt back behind my hard exterior. "Every day. Every moment."

"Can we just pretend for today? Can we just act like nothing ever happened? And be us? Please, I'm so fucking tired. I just need one fucking day." Her hands were pulling at me, desperate to get closer.

I wrapped both arms around her in a tight grip.

"Of course we can, baby." I spoke into her hair. "Anything you want, my love."

#fanfic #noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic

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privatehousesanatomy · 10 days

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hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.

that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.

i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.

let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.

chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.

another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?

while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.

and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.

idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me

#house md #hatecrimes md #hugh laurie #gregory house #greg house

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mothandpidgeon · 1 year

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Aunt Flo's First Visit [pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader]

MASTERLIST - follow @mothandpidgeon-updates and turn on notifications to stay updated with my fics!

Pairing: pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After Sarah gets her first period, Joel is determined to be a supportive parent despite the fact that he doesn't know the first thing about menstruation. But when he goes to the pharmacy to shop for supplies, he finds himself in way over his head.

Words: 2k

Rating: G

Warnings: period stuff and everything that comes with it

a/n: This is really fluffy and a little silly. I saw a tik tok by a menstrual product company about a customer trying to find the right thing for his daughter and it just gave me such Joel energy this happened. I haven't finished any fic in MONTHS because I'm working on my book and that's not finished either so it feels really good to complete something. (If you want to keep up with my publishing journey, I'm mainly documenting it here.) Please enjoy.

Also, I challenged myself to write in present tense bc I never do and I really was struggling so pretend the grammar is all correct. Thank you.

Joel knows how to do a lot of things. He can manage a crew, change a flat tire, and build just about anything. He never considered himself smart by the classical definition but he knows how to make a car battery from scratch despite the fact that he got a C in chemistry.

If somebody had told him a decade ago that he’d one day be paralyzed with fear in the feminine hygiene aisle, he would’ve laughed. But right now, Joel would give all his knowledge along with his left arm if he could just figure out what the hell he ought to buy for his daughter.

He knew this day would come eventually. It’s his own damn fault he never prepared himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he must’ve expected Sarah to just know how to handle it. Being a single dad wasn’t a walk in the park but he couldn’t imagine how much harder it would be if Sarah wasn’t so damn self sufficient. Even at 13, she can get herself fed and dressed and off to school without help. Of course she could figure this out on her own.

But Joel was reminded that Sarah’s still just a kid when she finally told him that she’d gotten her period for the very first time. She was so embarrassed to admit it, Joel practically had to drag it out of her.

He was angry with himself. He should’ve been ready, wished that he knew the right words to say. Joel promised himself he would put things right so she wouldn’t feel like she ever had to hide anything from him.

That was a lot easier said than done, he realizes now.

Joel stands in the aisle overwhelmed and confused. Boxes and soft packages in friendly, pastel colors stare at him from the shelves. He’s never spent much time with the feminine hygiene products, not unless he was scooting by them to pick up a little carton from the family planning section. He hasn’t bothered to learn about that stuff. Women’s stuff. He’s not disgusted by menstruation, isn’t afraid of it. It’s just one of those things he never had to deal with.

Without Sarah’s mom, though, he’s had to figure out plenty of girl things. He can remember the lesson on managing Sarah’s curls from the kind woman at the hair salon. Names of Shampoos and oils that felt foreign were now routine and he’s mastered using the combs and clips that looked more intimidating than some of his power tools. But he struggled for a good long while before that kind stylist took pity on him.

And here he is again, flying blind into the female whirlwind.

There’s so many options on the shelf. Words like HEAVY and gentle and sport. And the prices. Christ! He thought the hair stuff was expensive.

Joel’s head is spinning but he has to get it together. He’d vowed long ago that he would be Dad and Mom too. That’s what his daughter deserves.

Just a year ago, he hovered outside of the dressing room at the mall as Sarah tried on training bras.

“Did you find one? You were in there for a while,” he said when she emerged.

“Dad,” she replied in that tone she was using more and more often, the one that told him to shut up.

It isn’t the changes to her body that scare him, all of the subtle ways she’s becoming less familiar. His little girl is growing up and he mourns her childhood. It won’t be long before she’s driving, going off to college. Maybe she’ll have a daughter of her own but Joel hopes she’ll wait longer than he did, have a chance to make a life for herself.

Speaking of which, he realizes he’s going to have to sit her down for a real talk about boys next. He better get ready for that one. Explaining where babies come from hadn’t been too difficult. Condoms and venereal diseases are a whole different ball game. Teenage boys are gremlins– he’d know– and Sarah’s so smart and pretty, she’s going to have to be careful.

Joel doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at the shelves when a woman appears in the aisle, another shopper. She’s got her keys looped around a finger, headed straight for the tampons, her flip flops smacking against the bottoms of her feet. Joel has a box in his hands. He doesn’t even know what he’s picked up, it’s just got the least intimidating packaging and the price is reasonable. He can’t help but catch the woman’s eye and the look she gives him is a little wary. It must be obvious that he’s out of his depths. But she gives a polite, tight lipped smile and proceeds to ignore him as she approaches the pantheon of period products.

He watches as her eyes dart around the shelves and quickly she makes a selection, plucking up a box clad with pink and purple silhouettes. So easy. Well, it must be easy for her. He wonders how many times she’s visited this part of the pharmacy, if her mother brought her to the store when she was Sarah’s age and showed her all the options.

His free hand fidgets at his side and he swallows dryly. He feels like an idiot but he reminds himself that he’s got to do this. For Sarah. The woman is already half way back to the end of the aisle by the time he’s found his voice.

---

“Excuse me, miss. Could I trouble you for a second?” you hear from the man behind you.

You turn around, confused, but there’s nobody else that he could be talking to. Here you thought you could get in and out quickly. You’re cranky and tired and all day you’ve had toe curling cramps. It hits you like a ton of bricks every month. All you want to do is get home to your couch to watch some crappy reality tv.

But this lumberjack of a man– broad shoulders wrapped in a flannel shirt– is giving you puppy dog eyes. You’ve never been hit on while holding a box of Tampax Pearl but there’s a first time for everything.

“I apologize. This is real awkward,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck with a big hand. “I’m trying to get something for my daughter but I’m a little lost.”

His voice is warm and sweet and he’s handsome as hell but you keep your distance.

“Didn’t she tell you what to get?” you ask.

His expression grows even more bashful and his voice lowers.

“I’m afraid it’s, uh…well, it’s new territory for both of us,” he admits.

You can’t help the sympathetic smile that forms on your lips. Some poor preteen girl just got welcomed into the cruel arms of womanhood. It will be all downhill from here. Wild mood swings, angry breakouts, blood leaking through her favorite pair of pants. At least, it seems, she’s got her dad on her side. It takes a lot of balls for a guy to pick up a box of tampons let alone stop a stranger and ask for help.

You’d like to tell him that you’re too busy to help– you can hear your Haagen Dazs calling you all the way from the freezer– but you at least owe it to this kid to help him out.

“What’ve you got?” you ask, nodding towards the powder blue box in his grasp. It looks so little in his big hand. You walk back towards him and take a look. “Oh. Nice try but I wouldn’t go with that.”

He regards his choice again. It’s kind of adorable, the way the corners of his mouth frown as he squints at the words on the front. “What’s wrong with these?” His words aren’t defensive, he’s genuinely curious.

“Tampons can be pretty tricky when you’re that age. And those don’t even come with an applicator,” you explain. You remember trying to use a tampon that first time. You’d never put anything up there before and it stung like hell.

“Applicator?” His brows furrow and you can see fear in his brown eyes.

“So you can put it…in,” you tell him and motion with your finger, jabbing your pointer upwards.

His cheeks go pink. Ears too. You try to suppress a giggle as his brain short circuits for a second. His throat works as he swallows and places the box back on the shelf— gingerly, like it might explode.

“Which are the ones that don’t…go inside?” he asks.

It’s impossible to keep from grinning.

“Pads,” you say.

He nods.

You choose a package and place it in his hands. It’s a multipack, everything from light to heavy, and no wings so she doesn’t feel like she’s wearing a diaper.

“Try this,” you say. “She might not like them. It takes some trial and error.”

He reads over the circle in the corner that claims it’s 100% Leak Free! You can see he’s still overwhelmed but he’s far less nervous. He really is good looking and you have to wonder how he doesn’t have a woman in his life to help him out.

“This many?” he asks.

“She might need more.” You shrug. “Just stay away from the scented ones. And you have Tylenol at home?”

“I think so.”

“How about a heating pad?”

He shakes his head.

“Go get one,” you advise.

He blows out air and then steels himself with a nod, ready to face the red menace.

“I’m awfully grateful for your help,” he says and you can tell by the look on his face, he means that.

You feel your own cheeks heat.

---

Joel ends up behind her in the checkout line after securing an electric heating pad and grabbing an extra bottle of Motrin.

“What do you think?” he asks, showing her what he picked.

“Good job,” she tells him. Her smile is tinged with amusement but his chest still swells with pride. Maybe he’s not such a failure of a father after all.

Now that he’s less bewildered, Joel can’t help but notice how pretty this woman is. She’s dressed for comfort without any make up as far as he can tell but that smile and the kindness in her eyes is what does it for him. If they met under different circumstances, maybe he’d try to flirt. Not that he’s had the opportunity to practice recently. It’s for the best, though. There’s absolutely no way the combination of bumbling idiot, single parent, and menstruation makes for a romantic connection. Besides he’s here on an errand for his daughter.

Joel tries to keep his eyes from wandering over her as the teenager behind the register rings her up, the pink box and two bags of M&Ms. She gives Joel one last smile before leaving the store.

He thought he might feel embarrassed buying nothing but period supplies but he’s too busy thinking about how helpful she was. Sarah would just about die from mortification if he told her a complete stranger gave him a crash course in maxi pads. He chuckles to himself.

“Hey!” someone calls as Joel approaches his truck.

It’s her, the woman from the pharmacy, crossing the parking lot. Joel smooths his hair.

“These are for her,” she says, handing him one of her bags of candy. “Chocolate helps.”

Joel gives a soft laugh as he weighs the M&Ms in his hand. “That I knew,” he says.

“And, uh, here,” she tells him, holding out the long receipt.

Joel takes the paper. On the back she’s scribbled her name and phone number.

“You know, I don’t know. I just thought– if she has any questions. Or maybe if you do,” she says, shrugging. She’s much less confident now than she was in front of that endless selection of menstrual products. It’s cute and makes Joel feel a little less like an idiot for the way he was fumbling a few minutes ago.

“I owe you one,” he says.

She shakes her head. “Just be patient,” she warns. “She’s gonna be a bitch but don’t take it personally.”

Joel grins.

“You’re a good dad,” she tells him and he doesn’t know how to respond to that.

She’s already backing away towards her car and waves again.

Joel looks at her number, once again finding something he doesn’t know. He’d give his left arm to figure out how soon is too soon to call.

---

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #pre outbreak!joel #joel miller fic #tlou fic #joel miller fluff #fluff

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