#i also had to explain Taylor Swift to her

[itsbrucey]

Oh so the audience is aware of how insanely pathetic I am. I was trying to show my girlfriend ( who does NOT listen to Dungeons and Daddies and she vaguely humors me despite not knowing about DnD in general) a bit from the show. The thing in Finding Forest Her where Nick grabs Human Gun Taylor and brings him back to Hell and he's like " Hatsun ae Mi ku" and Nick goes " no.... Don't say that" in the most disappointed voice ever.

I just wanted to show her. And the timestamps I was giving her were not working and we were frantically trying to sync up bc she couldn't find the joke. And it got worse and worse bc the joke isn't even that funny without context and we were yelling and spending too much time freaking out bc we thought Spotify was broken.

And then I begged her to stop bc the joke was actively getting less and less funny but she was DETERMINED to hear it. So then she PODCAST CUCKED ME BY LISTENING TO LIKE THE ENTIRE LAST HALF OF THE EPISODE FOR THAT ONE JOKE WHILE I SAT IN SILENCE.

AND SHE SAID LINCOLN SOUNDED LIKE MORTY...... I LOST IM A LOSER

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

like on the one hand language matters and i too sometimes find slang trends annoying and/or concerning and on the other hand sometimes women do actually make jokes and talk shit on the internet with their friends and it is not actually that deep and commentary on phenomena gets to a weird point where i’m like i don’t know how “these idiot losers on the internet using a two to four word phrase they will have moved on from in a year are basically the primary cause of patriarchal oppression” is the feminist take. like sometimes i start to think the plot has been lost.

[teenidleadultgirl]

also, i think it's kind of silly to assume taylor fucking swift didn't run that prologue by a team of publicists before she released it and i think that speaks very loudly imo.

[heedeungism]

𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

•°. *࿐ PAIRING ― riki nishimura x fem!reader •°. *࿐ SYNOPSIS ― in which riki is smitten with you and your sharp tongue. •°. *࿐ GENRE ― one-shot, friends-to-???, fake dating, angst, fluff, crack, rich kid au, highschool lacrosse au •°. *࿐ WORD COUNT ― 20.9k (yeah, i went kinda crazy) •°. *࿐ CONTENT WARNING(S) ― violence(fighting), cursing, high school, mc has a shitty ex-bf, cheating(not riki obviously), almond grandma(mentioned), a singular cigarette is smoked, mc is shorter than riki, riki can also pick mc up, suggestive jokes, kys jokes, mc has hair (texture and length unspecified, but can be put up), objectification of girls(not riki tho), mc objectifies boys back, dreamy riki, not suggestive or smutty but mc is absolutely a horndog, mc is her own worst enemy, mc using riki to get back at her ex but he likes it, i did not edit this lmao •°. *࿐ EXTRA NOTES ― inspired by euphoria and my hs experience, riki is a loser and a lover, implied that mc is 18, eunseok(riize) is an absolute asshole in this sorry guys i needed a villain, enha are all in the same grade, mc wears makeup and has a manicure of an unspecified length, mc has sick lore, also shoutout to my hg @1ntaks for digitally holding my hand thru this <3 •°. *࿐ SOUNDTRACK ― busy woman by sabrina carpenter, hiss by megan thee stallion, low by sza, i did something bad by taylor swift, without you by lana del rey, agora hills by doja cat, girls like me don’t cry by thuy, only girl (in the world) by rihanna, safety net by ariana grande, snooze by sza

part two

AT THE BEGINNING OF 2024, you lost for the first time in your life.

Finding your boyfriend of two years making out with a girl you know too well as Lee Nayeon, your best friend, on the Carrara marble countertop of your family home that you had trusted her to take care of for eight days while you were in New York was not on your New Year’s resolution. You had planned to stay to see the Times Square Ball Drop with your mom and stepdad, but you realized you’d prefer to spend it with your boyfriend.

He didn’t seem to share the same sentiment, considering he has his tongue down the traitorous bitch’s throat. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

She screams, both of them startled by your appearance and scrambling off of each other. You feel an urge to slam her face into the precious marble they were defiling, but you stay where you are. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“It isn’t what you think, babe—“

The speed at which Nayeon’s eyes filled with guilty and horrified tears fuels your rage, and behind you, Bahiyyih appears.

“Look who’s back—oh?” She stops beside you, arm hovering to wrap around you until she sees what you’re seeing. “Eunseok? Since when were you back from Stanford?”

“Since he’s been fucking Nayeon, apparently.” 

The barbie-haired girl’s eyes widen, and as she looks between the two she notices the same things you’re painfully aware of. Nayeon’s smeared lip gloss, her tears, Eunseok’s undone jeans, and the sparkly residue on his mouth. “Oh…”

Nayeon’s whimper as she slides off the counter snaps you out of your daze, “You’re crying?” The angry tears forming in your eyes go unshed as you walk closer to her, “You fuck my boyfriend, and you’re fucking crying?”

Anger turns to fury when the boy in question gets between you and her, pleading to let him explain, his hand grabbing your elbow to pull you away, only for you to jerk away, “Okay, I won’t touch you, just let me explain—“

“How long?”

“What? Babe, this isn’t-“

“How long have you been fucking him?” Your question is directed at who you thought was your friend, who avoids looking at you as she silently weeps. Scoffing, you realize you won't get a straight answer and choose to reel in your urge to beat her face in with one of your stepdad's bowling trophies that’s on display a few steps away. “Get out.”

“Babe, let me—“

The attempts at holding in your temper are lost on you, quickly forgotten as you walk over to the fireplace, grabbing the fire poker hanging up and holding it up. Nayeon lets out a scared, oh my God, while Eunseok tries to calm you down, demanding you put down the weapon. Instead of that, you walk past them, out the front door, ignoring Bahiyyih’s, “No, no, no—”

Eunseok’s red Mustang sits prettily in the driveway, and you can hear him realizing what you intend to do, but it’s too late for him. You slam the poker down onto the hood of his car, “Get. Out!”

“You crazy bitch, what is wrong with you?!” He screams, and you find yourself screaming back.

“Take your side piece and get. Out!” You slam the poker down again, and in minutes he’s got Nayeon in the passenger seat and is peeling out of your driveway like it’s on fire.

If rage had a physical human form, you would be it. Clenched jaw, a deadly weapon in your hands, and a white-hot fury in your eyes that promised to make those two regret crossing you.

The amount of junk food you have consumed in the last week would’ve sent your almond grandmother into an early grave. Your other friends had been visiting as often as possible to keep you from being alone in your thoughts for too long, offering to take you out or go shopping, yet the thought of possibly seeing either of those backstabbing fuckers in public made you sick to your stomach.

Pride didn’t allow you to cry, so instead of sadness and heartbreak, which you definitely felt but would never admit to, you felt pure seething fury.

“So I’ve been thinking,” You take a drag from the cherried slim between your fingers, exhaling towards the sky as you lean against the side of the pool.

From her spot on the lawn chair sunbathing, Belle says. “You can’t kill them.”

“I can, you’re just a party pooper.”

“The party should not include going to prison for murder.” Her statement makes you roll your eyes, “You aren’t built for prison, babe.”

“Well, that I can agree with,” You sigh, the water shifting around you as you turn to face her, arms resting on the edge, “but that wasn’t what I was thinking about.”

Pausing, you take one last drag from your cigarette before smothering it into the stone, “One of the things about him that pissed me off to no end was his temper, right?”

Remembering the many conversations and rants had and heard, Belle nods, “Mhm.”

“So what if I date someone I know will piss him off?”

“If that’s what you think will help you heal, then…” She trails off, and you groan.

“Why can’t you just say it’s an amazing idea?” 

“Girl…” Sighing, she asks, “I just don’t think a third party should be involved.”

“He already got one involved, so why can’t I?” 

Making a face that screams, well you’ve got a point, Belle then adds, “I think you should find someone who pisses him off but they should be aware of your plans. Don’t lead someone on.”

A cunning smile grows on your glossy lips, “I’m not.”

“Oh, so you already have someone in mind?” She gathers with a growing smile of disbelief, “Please tell me it isn’t one of his frat brothers.”

You grimace at the thought, “Ew, no. The only one of them remotely dateable is Wonbin and that’s meeting the bare minimum standards.”

Shrugging, Belle offers, “At least they're hot?”

“Hot does not equal dateable, plus I hardly believe any of them would date their friend’s ex anyway.” Shaking your head, you push yourself out of the pool and sit on the ledge to let yourself drip dry, “What about one of the lacrosse guys?”

“You say no to a frat boy but not a lacrosse player?” 

“I know, I know, but at least I have eyes on them instead of hoping they're being loyal in another city.” You put a hand above your eyes to block out the sun, “Me knowing the coach kind of helps, no?”

“If loyalty is your goal then good luck, bitch.” Belle snorts, sipping from the pink bendy straw sticking out of her Dr Pepper bottle, “Lacrosse players are mansluts.”

“I know that, but…” You push yourself to stand, grabbing the towel Belle holds out when she hears the sound of your feet leaving the water, her eyes still closed and covered by a pair of Prada sunglasses, “I have a few options.”

“The only, as you put it, ‘remotely dateable’-“ she emphasizes those two words with quotations using her perfectly manicured fingers, “-lacrosse players are Jay and Sunoo. Jay is taken and Sunoo friendzones every apretty girl he meets.”

“I don’t know, Jungwon’s cute.” You think aloud, placing a hand on your hip, “He’s just a tight ass.”

“And therefore undateable.” She finishes for you. “What about the baseball team?”

“Eunseok plays, I’m trying to not be reminded of him.”

Belle hums in acknowledgment, “Let me look at the Lacrosse team's insta.”

You pull the claw clip out of your hair as you wait, patting your body dry until she holds out her phone for you to look at. Taking it with your dry hand, you examine the team photo.

You recognize the majority of them, rolling your eyes at a few familiar ones before your eyes land on one particular member of the team you don’t recognize. “Who’s number 10?”

Handing it back, you walk over to the oversized Hall & Oates shirt you’d stolen from your brother’s room(he left a lot of his clothes when he moved out, something about ‘finding his style). You hear the tap of her nails on the screen a few times before she answers, “Some guy named Niki? Or Riki? He doesn’t have any posts on his profile but in the photos he’s tagged in he’s called either of those names.” She gasps, a cackle escaping her lips, “Some of these are his mom tagging him in baby photos, please come look!”

Leaning over, you peek at her screen, “Oh my god, I would die.” You can’t help but giggle as she scrolls, this woman’s Instagram is a gold mine of childhood photos of this guy. “Okay, I feel weird looking at his baby photos, show me the other ones he’s tagged in.”

“On it.” Belle affirms, “Let’s go inside, too.”

“Okay, so-“ Belle stands before a whiteboard, one that your stepdad used to use before upgrading his office to have a massive one mounted on the wall, a pink dry-erase marker uncapped in her hands as she looks down at her phone for reference. After a quick text to the group chat, a brief summary of your plan was explained when everyone got to your house, and it seemed that everyone was invested. “-are we all in attendance.”

Jongseob is eating cereal in the white tufted chair in the corner of your room, Eunchae is in the bean bag, and Bahiyyih is on the floor between them, lined up like a good audience. 

“We’re making a pros and cons list for Riki Nishimura,” Belle announces, writing his name on the whiteboard as ‘Niki’ between the two names, “feel free to interject when you have a pro or con to list.”

“Con,” Jongseob raises a finger with his mouth half full, swallowing before saying, “His nickname is stupid.”

“Opinions don’t count, stupid.” Eunchae rolls her eyes, earning the finger from the boy in the chair.

“But like, why is his nickname Niki?” Hiyyih asks, and Jongseon lets out a nearly intelligible ‘thank you!’.

“I assume it’s because there's another Riki on the team,” Belle guesses, and the three nod. You sip the Baja freeze you’d had them pick you up on the way to your house and hum.

“Make an ‘unsure’ column,” you instruct, and she does so, writing ‘nickname kinda dumb’ under it.

“Pro, he’s on the Lacrosse team so he’s fit,” Belle starts, writing it on the board under its labeled column.

“Con, he’s on the lacrosse team.”

A chorus of agreement accompanies it to its column.

“Pro, from the photos he’s tagged in and the team photo, he’s at least 6’.” Eunchae adds, Belle nods and writes ‘tall’.

“How can you tell?” Jongseob asks, and she rolls her eyes like his question is the most idiotic thing she’s ever heard.

“Because I pass Heeseung in the halls from 5th to 6th period and in these photos, this guy looks a little taller than him.” She explains, and you hold a hand up when Jongseob opens his mouth to insult her.

“Con, no instagram posts.”

“Pro, I just found a pic from Jake’s insta and I can see him in the back. He’s got abs.” (Thank you, Bahiyyih.)

By the time the sun has set, the whiteboard is packed, the pros heavily outweighing the cons. You had even searched the large group chat you were added into on Snap in freshman year full of girls you barely know who dated around and kept each other informed, and found his name zero times. 

“I think he’s the one.” You sigh.

Jongseob snorts, pulling the cherry soda vape from his lips and asking, “Why do you think Eunseok will hate him?”

“He hates Lacrosse guys ‘cause he didn’t make the team, I figured it would hit a soft spot.” You smile and shrug.

“Hold on, the plot thickens,” Bahiiyih announces, eyes on her phone screen. “Do you guys remember that guy Nayeon had a crush on in freshman year?”

A chorus of confirmation causes her to grin, “I’m pretty sure it was this guy.”

You push yourself off your bed to peek over her shoulder at record speed, “No fucking way. How do you know?”

“I backread in the group chat, and she sent a picture of him, look!” She turns her phone for everyone to see, and from the slightly blurry and oddly angled photo that she obviously tried to take secretly, you can certainly see a resemblance, “Am I hallucinating, or is that him?”

“No that definitely looks like him,” Belle agrees, turning her head to face you with her jaw slack and a look, “He’s the one.”

“How are we gonna convince him to fake date you, though?” Jongseob asks, and you roll your eyes.

“Leave the planning to those qualified, Seob.”

You, all things considered, would call yourself a professional at annoying men. From years of experience before your brother moved out, you learned every which way to annoy him, and more importantly, boys in general. You are also smart enough to understand that his best friend, Jungkook, is your ticket to getting closer to the lacrosse team, aka Riki, even if you have to deal with Jake’s flirting and Heeseung’s annoyingly beautiful smile, you will get through it purely out of spite. 

When you get to school extra early the day before the semester is set to start, parking your car and turning your sights to where you knew he took the team to practice in the mornings, and where you knew he would be even if he and your parents got back from New York just last night. “A hoe never gets cold.” You mumble the chant to yourself over and over as you turn off your car’s engine and the warm air stops blowing. 

You curse rather loudly when you open your door and are met with a frigid breeze that makes your body clench to preserve its warmth. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

With your school bag on your shoulder and a thick white puffy jacket lined with fleece that keeps your torso warm, you speed walk toward the field, which the student parking lot happens to be in relative close proximity to. 

The sight of you approaching is enough to stop a good half of the players in their laps around the field, a typical start to Jungkook’s diabolical training regimen. The distraction you pose catches the man of the hour’s attention, and when he turns to face the source, he seems shockingly displeased. With a barked order to keep running thrown at the stopped players, he turns to you again and asks, “What are you doing here?”

Your lips part in dramatic offense, “You seem unhappy to see me and I don’t appreciate it.”

Rolling his eyes and pulling two hotpacks from his bag on the ground and handing them to you, he repeats, “What are you doing at school so early?”

Shrugging, you shove your hands into your jacket pockets and glance at the team, catching the eye of Sunoo and winking as he passes by. “I’m bored and single. What better way to spend my time than watching lacrosse players train in frozen hell?”

Jungkook’s face tells you he’s far less than impressed, and he seems at a loss for words. You decide to let him in on your plan, not seeing any harm in doing so.

“Okay, I’m trying to ruin Eunseok's day, every day, by reminding him I have a hotter, taller, and more athletically skilled boyfriend than he ever was or could be,” You start, “And I’m calling in a favor.”

“What favor? You don’t do shit—“

“Okay then, tell me more about him or I’ll tell my brother about what really happened to his Audi last Christmas.” The Audi in question had a large scuff on the back bumper that Jungkook had paid you three hundred dollars to take the blame for, which while your brother was upset, you knew he’d be far angrier if he knew the truth. Jungkook knew that too.

If the cold wasn’t already doing the job, you would say he lost all color in his face. A sweet smile forms on your lips, and you take the moment of his speechless horror to take another glance at the team. 

When you meet the eyes of the familiar boy in a dark red hoodie with the number 10 on it you feel your face warm up involuntarily. Instinctively, you swallow the nervous lump in your throat, something that’s never happened to you, and quickly turn back to the coach (not before catching sight of the slight tug at the corner of #10’s plump lips). “So?”

Jungkook sighs, “Which one?”

“Number 10.”

Immediately, the man shakes his head, “Nuh-uh.” At the raise of one of your eyebrows, he quickly explains, “He’s one of my best players, I don’t need him being distracted by my best friend’s kid sister.”

You roll your eyes, “If you have a better option for me, then please, do share.”

“What about Jungwon?” 

“Tight ass,” You say barely a breath later, eyes watching said player jog past, lingering on his backside as he moves away, “In more ways than one.”

“Okay, stop.” Jungkook says, disgust on his face, “What about Taehyun.”

“He’s Dr. Evil and Jungwon is his mini-me, they’re both so strict they’d never agree.”

He makes a face, point heard, before suggesting one last player in a last-ditch effort, “Jak—”

“If the name Jake Sim leaves your mouth I’m setting your Mercedes on fire.” 

His mouth shuts automatically, and he sighs. 

“So, tell me about him.”

“Why don’t you go ask?”

You give him a look that read, don’t be fucking stupid.

“Ugh, fine. What do you wanna know?” Jungkook caves, blowing the whistle around his neck, signaling the team to start the next warmup, pushups. 

“What’s his favorite color?” You ask, obviously pulling his leg considering the grin on your face.

“Nishimura!” He immediately calls, and number 10 looks up from his position on the ground. You don’t look longer than a moment, your spine straightening up automatically when his eyes meet yours once again, “What’s your favorite color?”

You don’t look, but you can bet money that he probably looks confused considering your brother’s best friend tells him to ‘just answer the damn question’, and then you hear his voice. 

“Black.”

Fuck, this is bad. The little shit in you wants to say that black isn’t technically a color, that it’s the absence of such, but the thought of looking at him and saying something like that makes your palms go clammy and your heart beat out of your chest. His voice is deep, and with the exertion in it from the warmup, you think you might just have to throw yourself into an active volcano.

“Mine is green, coach!” 

“I didn’t ask, Huening.” Your lips flatten, your hand flying to cover your mouth as you try not to giggle. Instinctively, you look at Kai, whose ears have gone red in embarrassment, and you take pity.

“I like green too, Kai.” You say loudly for him to hear, and his head perks up to look at you.

“I like blue!” Jake pipes in, all too eager to include himself.

“Nobody asked, Jake.” Jay grunts, on his hundredth push-up and losing patience.

Jungkook blows the whistle again, “Burpees.”

“You’re a monster.” You muse, watching the team lose all faith in a heavenly being as they do what he says. Every jump grants you the sight of rock-hard abs, so you're not really complaining. 

“Stop ogling the team, it’s gross.” Jungkook hisses, “What else do you want to know?”

“Girlfriend?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Type?”

He makes a face, “I don’t know. He’s a teenager, probably anything that breathes in his direction.” 

“Age?”

“Turned 18 in December, the team threw him a pizza party.”

“Beginning or end of December?” You ask quizzically.

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook huffs, “Why does it matter?”

“I need to know if I’m dealing with a Sagittarius or a Capricorn. Please, please, tell me he isn’t a Capricorn.”

“Jesus Christ…” Thinking about it, Jungkook answers, “I think it was in the first week?”

A sigh of relief leaves you, “Thank god. I cannot stand an earth sign.”

“I’m an earth sign.” 

“And it took me ages to forgive you for that.”

“Okay, go away.” Jungkook shakes his head, obviously annoyed and desperate to get rid of you.

“But I’m not—“

“Nishimura.” Dread fills you, and before you can stop him from opening his mouth again, number 10 stands up.

“Yeah, Coach?”

“Walk this one to her car.”

Confusion is etched on his pretty face, but he nods, jogging over as you curse at Jungkook quietly enough for him and the lord to hear but not the approaching lacrosse player.

When he stands just a few feet away, waiting for you to start walking with him, you turn to face him and feel a jolt in your stomach. He’s tall. 

You already knew this but seeing it with your eyes is a different experience than seeing photos of it. Get a grip, bitch.

Offering him a condescending smile, a defense mechanism to keep yourself from humiliating yourself by showing how affected you are, you shoot your brother’s friend the finger and begin to make your way off the field.

You pass Riki, not even sparing him a look as you do so, but listening to make sure he’s following. With his much longer legs, it isn’t long before he’s walking just slightly behind you, not at your side but close enough for you to sense his presence. When you make it to your car in what felt like awkward silence to you but was probably nothing to him, you heave a sigh of relief when she unlocks and you open the door. 

Not sitting yourself inside yet, despite the cold and the fact your body hurts from it, you turn to face him.

“This yours?” He asks. God, that voice again.

You hum in confirmation, “Her name is Manon.” 

“Nice name.” He compliments, and you tilt your head, looking between his eyes and glancing down to his mouth every so often. He swallows almost unnoticeably, “What’s yours?”

Resisting the urge to ask if he truly didn’t know, you conclude that would sound far too conceited, and tell him your name. 

He tries it out, and you can see the tip of his tongue flick across his teeth before he says, “I’m Riki.”

“I know.” You say shamelessly, “You can go back to practice, now.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would think the slight smirk that tugs at his lips is of annoyance, but with the way his eyes look down your face every other second, you know exactly what you’re doing. He blinks, turning his body slightly to walk away, “Yeah.”

You wait until his back is to you to slide into your driver’s seat, quickly pulling your phone out to text the group chat.

bitchqueen: guys this is bad

bitchqueen: he’s HOT

bitchqueen: i can’t do this 

Glancing back up to see if Riki left, you sigh in relief when he’s nowhere to be found. You look back down when your phone dings. bellenotdelphine: eunseok bought nayeon a van cleef bracelet

bitchqueen: okay bitches im back

myrootcame2005: ur resolve inspires generations

Going back to school wasn’t so bad, or at least it isn’t as bad you thought it would be. You were the only licensed driver in your friend group, and as such you expected to have a full car every morning, picking up Belle first as she lived down the street, and then Jongseob and Eunchae, who grew up neighbors in a neighborhood you pass on the way to school. Bahiyyih usually gets a ride with her brother, though she does complain his truck still smells like the musky car freshener he spilled back when he got it.

After parking and putting on your shoes that you’d taken off because you hate driving with them on, you had Belle hand you your backpack from at her feet and the four of you exited the car into the frigid weather. “Jesus fuck, why is it so cold?”

Belle huddled by you as you sped walked to the school doors, where you finally took notice of the stares directed your way. Ignoring the staring was the easy part, having a freshman walk up to you and ask, “Hey, is it true you destroyed your boyfriend’s car with a crowbar?” was hard to avoid.

Belle seems ready to tell them to fuck off but you smile sweetly, “It was a fire poker, actually, and destroyed is a strong word. Also, who the fuck are you?”

You got in enough trouble with your parents when they found out, these people could at least get the facts right. When the 14 year old boy opens his mouth to answer, you make a face, “I don’t actually care.”

Ignoring that encounter, you would say it was a relatively normal day. AP classes already gave you packets and mounds of homework, but with the semester classes you took last year you only had 5 periods of the day before being allowed to go home, perks of being a senior, you guess. The fact almost every class you had was an AP class was a definite downside, though.

The only AP class you didn’t have happened to be Medical Microbiology, which you had dreaded to take but it was the same teacher you had last semester for A&P who loved you enough to exempt you from the final without you having to submit the form like everyone else, and luck was on your side it seemed because while you were seething to find that Nayeon was in your 5th period class, the sight of the seating chart and the name labeled next to yours made you decide to postpone ingesting whatever deadly chemical Mrs. Wilson had in her locked cabinet.

Nishimura, Riki

The short curly-haired woman seemed overjoyed to see you, of course, and like clockwork you handed her a small pink box containing her favored cookie from the shop down the road, earning yourself a nice sidehug. 

You know a way to a teacher's heart, which had made your high school experience better than most could imagine, though Mrs. Brooks from Pre-AP English freshman year was a cunt and you gave up on making her like you within the first month. Sitting down at your seat, which happened to be somewhat close to her desk, you were looking down at the packet she’d left stacked on the table by the door for students to take from as they came in when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

Growing up with a brother gave you a good understanding of how boys worked, and when you saw no one in your periphery, you looked to the opposite side, seeing the familiar lacrosse player. You dread small talk, though when the late bell rings as he sits down, you thank the heavens you don’t have to. 

Moving your hair off your shoulder, you took a pink mechanical pencil from your matching pencil case as Mrs. Wilson started speaking.

“Hey.” He leans ever so closer, whispering to get your attention, “Can I borrow a pencil?”

The raised eyebrow you send his way makes his raise his own, and you roll your eyes, grabbing one of the orange ones you never used and handing it to him, when you notice his look between the two pencils, you say, “Can’t risk you taking one of my good ones.”

He rolls his eyes this time, but starts writing his name with it anyway. At first, he uses his right hand, but ten minutes into the lecture about the staining process, he switches hands.

It isn’t annoying until he starts intentionally brushing your elbow with his own, and you know it’s intentional because when the word you’re writing comes out jagged and you look at him, he has a smug look on his face while avoiding meeting your eyes, snickering softly when you erase the word you deemed too ugly to continue writing. You turn in your seat, facing away from him and rotating your paper with you as you cross one leg over the other, it was easier writing this way anyway.

With your new angle, you can see Nayeon glancing over every now and then in the corner of your eye. 

Now, to say your reputation wasn’t ruined but in fact reinforced by everyone finding out about what you did to Eunseok’s car, was a factual statement. You didn’t like the term ‘anger management issues’ which is what the therapist your mother made you see last year used to describe your behavior. 

In your humble opinion, Jaclyn Delvacchio deserved the bruise you left on her brow bone and is honestly lucky you didn’t get a good enough hit in before the history teacher pulled you off of her, maybe she should’ve kept her mouth shut about Eunchae’s braces.

Then, there was Kaley Graham in your freshman year, a sophomore who told you to stay away from your then-situationship, Eunseok, to which you responded to her threats by grabbing her head and slamming her face into the window of an active classroom. You thought the photos of her face smashed against it were funny, the school and your suddenly-present father did not.

So really, you’re already labeled a crazy bitch, violent, ‘untameable’(as you'd heard uttered by boys you wouldn't touch with a twenty foot pole). You might as well act like it.

When the bell rings 45 minutes later, you breathe a sigh of relief, finally time to go home.

You don’t notice he’s waiting for you until you’ve gathered your things and taken your keys out. He leans against his desk, waiting for you with observant eyes that land on the key-fob in your hand before moving up to your eyes. “Free period?”

You nod, “as are the next two.”

He whistles low as the both of you walk out, “I didn’t get any free periods, you’re lucky.”

“Lacrosse?” You ask, and he nods with a small grimace.

“And I failed Chem last year, so I’ve got to take it again.” He sighs, “I’m not great with all the math.”

“AP?” You ask innocently, and he snorts.

“God no. Regular.” He states, raising a brow as he adds, “Did you take AP?”

You hum, nodding, “Yeah.”

“So, if I come to you with a radiation equation, would you help me?” He asks in a way that almost feels teasing.

“It’s called a nuclear equation, and I suppose I could be persuaded.” You stop in front of the double doors at the front of the school, and from how others are rushing through the halls you assume the bell is going to ring soon.

“Could I try to persuade you after lacrosse practice? I’m gonna be late for Chem.” He says, though his tone is anything but worried, just like the smirk on his face.

“There’s a cafe next to the nail salon down the road, I might be there when lacrosse practice is over.” You hint, before turning to leave without another word.

After texting the group chat about the plan to meet up with Riki after his practice ends, you felt good. Flirting came easy, especially when you wanted something, which obviously was the case with him, but you weren’t oblivious to the fact he was flirting back. 

hueningbarbie: damn u act fast

bitchqueen: i'm just a girl who knows what she wants and gets it ;)

hongchae: do you think he’ll agree?

bitchqueen: if he doesnt i think jake is my only other option

bitchqueen: killing myself means i let them win

bellenotdelphine: jake is NEVER the only option

bellenotdelphine: hang in there queen

You sit in a worn out booth facing the big wall of windows lining the front of the hole-in-the-wall cafe. Part of you regrets choosing it considering Gloria, the old lady who always takes your order and brings you your food, seemed all too excited when you said you were waiting for a boy that wasn’t Eunseok. 

You try not to look up every time you see a car pull into the strip center of cafes and food joints, only glancing when you see a black Jeep pull into the parking spot next to your car, quickly acting like you weren’t looking when the familiar lacrosse player hopped out of it with wet hair and the same sweatshirt with his jersey number and name on it.

It isn’t until he slides into the booth across from yours that you look up from the menu you weren’t even reading, “How was practice?”

He sighs, leaning back into the booth and you feel his shoe brush yours, “Coach had me on offense,” he says, rubbing his side with a wince.

“Want some tiger balm?” You ask nonchalantly, reaching into your purse to pull out the small container of it you keep to help with the pain you get from looking down and taking notes, not to mention scrolling through social media, too.

He takes it with a whispered please, and you try not to watch as he moves his hand under his shirt to rub it in. Bahiyyih was right.

“Any drinks, mija?” Gloria appears beside your booth with a knowing look on her face as she looks between you two, “and you?”

“Dr Pepper, please.” You order with a smile, and she affectionately rubs your arm with a nod before looking at Riki, who repeats you.

When Gloria walks away to get the drinks, Riki seems curious, “I come here a lot.”

Nodding, he says, “I figured. What’s good, here?”

“Oh, everything is good. Do you recognize anything on the menu?” When he shakes his head, you try not to act offended, and say, “The enchiladas are really good, but if you’re picky I would get the tacos.”

“Mm, I’ll get an enchi-“ he struggles to mimic your pronunciation of the word, and you laugh quietly.

“Enchiladas?” You ask with a cheeky smile, and he scrunches his face up in shame, “It’s okay, it’s hard to say.”

“You’re good at it.” He states, not an opinion, a fact.

“I am.” You agree, and the smile on his face is enough to send your heart into your throat. Get. A. Grip. “Like I said, I come here a lot.”

“So, what do I have to do to persuade you to help me pass Chem?” He asks after Gloria sets down your drinks and takes your orders(sending you a hidden wink as she turns to walk into the kitchen), and you realize now's the time to bring up your plan.

“So, I actually have a proposition for you.” You admit, and he leans forward a little, curious to hear it. When you say it, albeit a slow and awkward version of what you intended to say as the nerves got the better of you because of that damn look in his eyes, you swear you almost see his face drop a little. 

“So you want to…fake date? To make your ex jealous.” He sounds unsure, and you quickly shake your head.

“Not jealous, I kinda just want to ruin his day...everyday.” You state, “I’m the crazy bitch, you’re the hot athlete. Match made in heaven, right?”

He seems to take the ‘hot’ comment well, crossing his arms and tilting his head, “So, what are the rules? If we’re dating, do we have to go all out or just spread the word?”

“Spreading the word only works for so long,” you say, pleased by his question, “Kissing is a bit much, especially since it’s only been a few weeks since I dumped him. If we move too fast everyone will think you’re my rebound. We should take it slow.”

“So…” he thinks for a second, “Holding hands?”

You hum in agreement, “Get me flowers, too.”

“What’s your favorite kind?” The question shouldn’t throw you off, but it hits you rather suddenly that you’d never been asked that by a guy, especially not Eunseok. 

“Lilies.” You say, “And baby’s breath.”

He nods, taking a mental note of that just as Gloria comes out with your food. The enchiladas were a win, he devoured them like he hadn’t eaten for years, though there was a pause in the process when he insisted on trying the salsa you had poured generously over your own food, which was far too spicy for him, to your delight.

You exchanged numbers outside of the restaurant after paying(he had picked up the bill before you could grab it), and as you were putting a name to his number, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

Laughing at the look on your face, he subtly motions behind you, and when you glance back you find about five girls no older than 16 piled into a Corolla and staring, but snapping their eyes away and hiding when you meet their gazes.

Turning back to him, you swallow the sudden lump in your throat when you see he’s already looking at you.

“Good catch.” You cough, ignoring the smug smirk growing in his face, “I’ll text you.”

“Okay.” He says, waiting for you to move away before he does, and you find yourself sucking in a deep breath and turning to get into your car.

“So he agreed?” Belle asks from the passenger seat of your car, “I told you, teenage boys are easy.”

You pull into your parking spot in the school lot, pulling down the ugly parking pass they make you hang from the rearview mirror that you always tuck back up when you leave because it's an eyesore, “We tried to work out the technicalities last night but I fell asleep on the phone.” 

Eunchae gasps as if scandalized, “You fell asleep on the phone with him? That’s so cute.”

You groan, “I know, it’s embarrassing!” Getting out of your car, you try to withhold a groan when you immediately spot Jake practically skipping over, a cheeky grin on his face. Shit.

You don’t hide your displeasure when he calls your name, shooting a giggling Belle the finger before turning to give him attention you know you’d regret, “You and Niki?”

“Is that any of your business?” 

He starts giggling, the grin on his face widening as he starts hopping around like an excited puppy, “No way! You gotta tell me how he fi—“

“Jake!” A girl from the cheer squad calls his name from across the courtyard, and he whirls around to wave with a flirty smile.

By the time he turns back to you, you’re already walking away with the girls. “We’re talking about it in 2nd!”

“No we’re not!” You call back, waving your hand dismissively. Eunchae snorts, hooking her arm with yours as the three of you walk through the entrance. Jongseob had come in early with his other friend group for club prep, so his presence is sorely missed. 

“Do you think he’ll get you flowers?” The junior on your arm asks, and you shrug.

“I mean, maybe.” Your answer makes Belle roll her eyes.

“Manifest it, or…” She stops in front of your 1st class of the day, ready to drop you off, and a grin overtakes her face, “Bitch.”

You step closer to see when she sees, and at your assigned seat is a bouquet of the same flowers you told Riki you liked, pink and white lilies with baby's breath sprinkled in. Habitually, you bite your lip to withhold the smile, sliding your arm out from Eunchae’s and walking in.

The girl who sits next to you, Hikaru, has an almost fox-like grin on her face as she sees you finally arrive. She says a few things that you hum in response to as you pluck the tiny folded card from between the blossoms, opening it and allowing Belle and Eunchae to peek over your shoulder to read it with you. “Shut up!” Belle practically squeals.

For: Pretty

“God.” You sigh, closing the note and grabbing the bouquet from Eunchae who had picked it up to smell them, “I wonder where he got these.”

“I don’t know but they look expensive.” Belle muses with a grin and you hum in agreement with a smile.

A text tone dings from your phone, a familiar one that makes you groan. When you look at your screen your jaw clenches and shifts.

spermdonor: lunch? we need to catch up.

You suspect your mom told him about how you get off early now, cursing the woman mentally as you send back a simple thumbs up to her ex-husband. 

Between 1st and 2nd period, you had put the bouquet in your car to avoid walking around with it, and you’re so very thankful you did with the annoying grin on Jake’s face as you sat across from him in College Algebra.

“You and Niki.” He repeats with a cheeky raise of his brows, his grin unaffected by the look of utter distaste on your face at his presence.

“What about Riki and me?” You ask monotonously, clearly unimpressed with the prompt.  

“You guys datin’?” He asks cheekily, clearly already aware that you went on a ‘date’, but wanting to hear it from you.

“If I say we went on a singular date will you leave me alone?” You ask with a sigh, using your knuckle to massage your temple.

Jake shakes his head with a shit-eating grin, “Not a chance.”

You groan softly as the bell rings, and the sigh of relief is quickly smothered with your hopes of escaping this period without having to answer a question as a familiar substitute walks in, Mr. Morrell, a nice old man who usually just lets everyone do their own thing. He’s your mortal enemy now, you’ve decided.

The moment he announces those wretched words, ‘free day’, your fate is sealed.

Jake is snickering like a freak, leaning over his desk as if you aren’t just a few feet away from him, “You and Riki.” He giggles, and you look at him as if he’s possessed and it disgusts you.

“Please, leave me alone.” You say with a bit more emotion than your last few words.

Jake is too busy giggling like a little girl to listen or even hear what you said, nearly cutting you off as he asks, “Where was your first date?” 

“The Mexican place next to the nail salon down the street.” You answer monotonously, just wanting to get it over with at this point.

“Did he pay? He paid.” Jake asks then nods to himself as he says the last statement.

“Yes, he paid.” 

“Ooo, did he kiss you? Nah, Niki’s way too pussy to do that—“

You cut him off with an invisible twitch of your brow, “He gave me a solid kiss on the cheek.”

It’s as if you’ve broken the already clearly leaking dam of pure giddy delight. He’s practically squealing with a breathy and high-pitched ‘naur way~’, whipping out his phone you assume to text their group chat. He’s bouncing in his seat, and you make a face as you pull your desk an inch away from his desk to stop feeling the movements.

You open your coloring book you bring with you to classes when you have no other work, you have other work but you’d rather not do that while Jake giggles and grills you.

The rest of the period is filled with him asking questions you either answer shortly or choose to not answer at all. (“Do you think he’s the one?”)

You of course could not see was that across the campus Riki was hiding his phone in his lap wanting to sink into a hole and die as Jake spams the team group chat like a live tweet of his, though strongly condemned by him, weirdly thorough interview like your barely started kind-of-relationship is his favorite sitcom.

“Thank you, lord.” you sigh as the bell rings, freeing you of your torment as you grab your gathered and organized bag to pull over your shoulder and hasten out of the classroom before Jake can get you. (Yes, like a boogeyman.)

It seems you can’t catch a break as you find out Park Sunghoon is in your 4th period. Park Sunghoon, jersey number 23, goalkeeper of the Decelis Demons. Also, you’ve decided, another mortal enemy. 

You don’t even know how you hadn’t noticed him all semester or the semester prior, given how awkwardly talkative he is. Sitting beside you with a cute but unsettling smile, holding out his hand like he was meeting a celebrity, which you weren’t exactly complaining about but the smile was weird. He was almost just as bad as Jake, if not worse simply because he freaked you out a bit. Seriously, why is someone so beautiful so fucking weird. His moles look like constellations but something about his vibes unsettle you.

It isn’t like you don’t have weird friends, you’ve watched Jongseob stuff fifty chile-coated gushers into his mouth purely because Eunchae told him he couldn’t. Weird usually isn’t the issue, except it is in this scenario. 

Escaping him and getting to go to your teacher’s aid period was like a shining of heaven’s pure light on you. You find yourself grading papers in the back of the classroom while your freshman-year Latin teacher plays Hercules in New York on the projector, a purple glitter pen in your hand as you go through the stack of exams.

“Hey,” one of the freshmen a cluster of desks away calls to you in a semi-hushed voice, halting the movement of your glitter pen and directing your attention to them, “your boyfriend’s waiting at the door.”

‘I don’t have a boyfriend’, parts your lips before you suddenly remember that Riki exists and halt before it can leave them. Looking to the closed door of the classroom, you find the boy in question peering through the small window in the door, and raise an inquisitive brow.

He only waves at you, a clear signal he wants you to come out and talk to him, part of you wonders why he knew where you were but memories of the phone call the night you both agreed on the whole ‘fake dating’ thing, exchanging school schedules and discussing preferences, come back to you and you nod lightly.

Mrs. B looks up from her laptop as you cap the glitter pen, “Don’t be gone too long.” 

Shooting her a smile and a small ‘yes ma’am, thank you’, you get up from the desk and shoot the snickering freshmen a weak glare as you walk to the door, opening it just enough to side step out of the room and shut it behind you.

“Hey.” is the first thing he says, his voice is deep despite its softness, mindful of the other classes going on in the language hall as well as the other teens clearly trying to get a good look at him as the door closes behind you.

You say it back just as softly, “Hey.”

He smiles just a bit, a boyish quirk of his lips that has your heart picking up, get a fucking grip, bitch. “I’m sorry about Jake and Sunghoon.”

The mention of them has you pressing your lips together with a nearly-sympathetic smile, “It’s okay.”

“No, they’re…a lot.” He chuckles softly, though his words are still genuine, “I don’t want you to get scared away.”

Something in your heart flutters, “Don’t worry about it.” You say with a soft laugh that has his eyes darting to your smile. “Sunghoon was…weird, but I already knew that Jake’s a pest, so…”

He laughs at your words, head shaking slightly, “Still, I’m sorry about them.”

“It’s fine, really.” You say with a shake of your head. A student exits the Spanish class down the hall, pausing at the sight of you and Riki before walking in the direction of the bathrooms. 

Riki spares them little more than a brief glance over at the sound of the door shutting behind them before his gaze is back on you. God, why is he looking at me like that, you think just before he speaks again, “Do you bowl?”

The question catches you off guard, and you tilt your head and ask, “Like do I know how or do I do it often?”

“Both.”

“Kinda and no.” You answer, “Why?”

He brings a hand up to rub the back of his head, your eyes darting to the way the sleeves of his t-shirt stretch to accommodate the movements of his arm and a few veins are visible up his arm, “Some of the guys and I were going this weekend, I…figured I’d ask.” 

His words are finished with a bit of hesitance that you have little time to linger on as you question with a slight laugh, “Did they ask you to bring me?” 

You see a slight pink tinge to the tips of his ears as his elbow drops yet his hand lingers on his trapezius, creating yet another visual that has you wanting to repeatedly slam your forehead into the wall beside you. He shakes his head slightly, “No, I, uh, wanted to bring you.”

The words are said with a soft laugh like he’s a bit embarrassed with himself, and you find your teeth catching your bottom lip to hold in the despicable grin that you know should not be growing on your face right now. You just broke up with your long-term boyfriend, wake up.

If Riki’s eyes dart to your lips, you don’t see it as you glance to the door of your class. “Then…yeah. I’ll come.” 

Your answer has his lips forming a pretty grin that he quickly covers up with a bite of his bottom lip and a nod, taking a step back as he prepares to leave, “Cool. I can pick you up, yeah?”

Yeah, you can. You nod, “Just text me.”

“Yeah, I’ll text you.” He finishes with another nod, and you giggle softly at his repetition. His eyes soften at the sound, another thing you don’t notice as you see the student returning from the bathrooms, glancing your way every so often as they approach the closed Spanish class door. 

Riki sees them too, and as they look over again, he leans down to press his lips to your cheek in a quick but sweet kiss, “See you next period.”

He shoots you a swift wink as he backs up again, and you put it together that he kissed you because of the third party in the hall. You exhale a soft response as he turns to jog off, clearly not meant to be gone from class as long as he has been, “Yeah.”

As soon as he turns the corner and you’re alone in the hall, you close your eyes for a long blink to bring yourself back to Earth. A soft curse leaves your lips as you turn back to the door to re-enter the Latin class, heart racing and hands slightly clammy. 

Clammy. 

The fact that a boy is making you feel so damn juvenile with the way you can’t help but react to his words and face and voice and eyes—

The walk to 5th period fills you with a sense of dread before you remember who else is in that class. Mrs. Wilson greets you happily as she sets up the activity for the day on the projector, which alerts you to the fact someone is standing by your seat who doesn’t belong there.

Riki has a look of confusion on his face as he looks up at Nayeon, clearly a bit confused by whatever is leaving her lips. The teacher’s greeting alerts the both of them to your presence in the doorway, where you paused at the sight of her. The corners of Riki’s lips quirk up at the sight of you, but Nayeon looks like she’s about to puke.

You don’t even speak. Something about the sight of pure panic in her eyes gives you a boost of serotonin but the fact that she’s standing in front of your ‘boyfriend's desk, speaking to him. Oh, you’re pissed. 

Yes, you are aware he isn’t actually your boyfriend and the two of you hadn’t even discussed publicly referring to each other as such, but the principle still stands. You want to punch her face.

Unfortunately, Mrs Wilson would be quite upset if you slammed Nayeon’s head into the whiteboard, and you like your teacher too much to debate starting a fight in her class. 

Your eyes follow Nayeon’s every move as she hastily removes her hands from where they were on his desk, avoiding your burning stare as she moves to her own seat. 

Walking to your desk, you smile at Riki as if what just happened has zero effect on you despite the burning fury in your gut, and sit down beside him. “Hey.”

Your soft greeting has him saying it in kind, shifting in his seat to lean back and see you better, “You know her?”

His question has you tilting your head in a faux innocence, “Mhm. Why?”

Riki has a slight knowing look on his face as he watches your reactions, “She had a lot to say about you.”

“What did she say?” You ask as if it’s a simple question, like you aren’t dying to know and anxiety isn’t clawing at your chest making it harder and harder to make your hands not shake. 

He shrugs with a purse of his lips, a slightly cheeky smile forms on his face as he asks, “You jealous?”

A scoff leaves your lips and your eyes roll before you can even think to hold the sass back, “Jealousy implies she’s better than me in some way.” You say with a defiant cross of your arms, “and she is not.”

“Then why’d you glare so hard?” He asks, clearly amused by both your words and body language.

You think, why did I not tell him about Nayeon?

The answer? Eunseok and Nayeon’s little affair had more of an effect on you than you would like to admit. Anxiety claws at you everytime you even imagine Nayeon interacting with Riki, and the fact that you just walked in on her saying something to him that your pride won’t allow you to ask him about just makes it all so much worse for you. 

The truth is that the irrational part of your brain, the one that often wins the battles against its more logical other half, made the thought of Riki knowing you were betrayed by your best friend all the more sickening to imagine. It’s embarrassing. Humiliating. 

“I wasn’t glaring.” You argue, and Riki raises his brows as if to say ‘really?’ before he huffs softly in amusement and the bell rings.

“Yeah, you were.” He says with a lingering curiosity in his gaze before he looks to the board as Mrs Wilson starts class. Your first instinct is to argue, to be stubborn like you always are, but the lingering anxiety in your chest makes you want to never speak again just to find some kind of peace.

The entire time you take notes you aren’t truly absorbing any information, your brain is stuck on every possible thing that Nayeon could have said to him and how you’re gonna find out without directly asking either of them if possible.

You feel sick and he’s not even your real boyfriend.

Oh, fuck.

Between realizing you want Riki and remembering that you have to go to lunch with your father, you simply didn’t have enough time to achieve as much mental preparation as you’d like before lunch. The Italian restaurant you find yourself sitting inside with a menu in your manicured hands is a relatively ‘fancy’ establishment, at least if the $35 fettuccini alfredo was anything to go by.

Your dad is the one paying, so you aren’t all that mad about the prices considering the look in his eyes is enough to ruin your enjoyment of the basket of breadsticks between the two of you. If you thought it would make a dent in his bank account you’d order another plate of mozzarella sticks just to spend his money, but the satisfaction just wouldn’t be there. 

Punching his face might feel better.

“Am I gonna have to put you in anger management again?” His anger is hushed and composed, but the shift in his jaw and the patronizing look of disappointment on his face belied his composure. Always being hyper-aware of how people view him is one of the things you hate about your dad. His attitude takes a higher spot on the ‘Why You Hate Your Dad’ pyramid, though. 

“You can’t ‘put me’ anywhere.” You bite back as you dip the breadstick in your hand into the small bowl of marinara, “Eunseok deserved it.”

“You don’t get to decide what people deserve.” He argues, still so patronizing.

The feeling of being talked down to is one you're all too familiar with when it comes to your father. The man can’t accept his own faults, one of which being how shit of a father he was and is. You roll your eyes as you take a bite of your breadstick, half-drowning his words out with your own and the other half remembering every single thing coming from his lips to throw back in his face next time he cries about how you never reach out to him. 

“Eunseok is a smart and successful, young man. And you throw it all away for—“

Ah, you almost forgot how much more your father likes your ex than you. Offering him internships, a place at his firm when he graduates, none of which he’d ever even mentioned to you. You wouldn’t ever work for or with your father, but the fact he had never spoken a word about any chances to help you gain experience like he did your ex was as infuriating as it was unsurprising.

“I didn’t throw shit away.” You snap, “He cheated on me, you keep skimming over that detail, father.”

“I’m not skimming over it, it’s irrelavent.” He exhales, trying to calm his slightly raised voice, “And you know I hate it when you call me that..”

“Irrelevant? Oh, I’m sorry, should I have stayed with a boyfriend that sleeps with my best friend?” You scoff, sipping your Dr Pepper, “And if you wanted me to call you dad, you should've acted like one.”

“Hey.” He warns, yet you only roll your eyes. “Reaching out goes both ways—“

“I know you did not just say that to me.” 

“—and I am your father, so you speak to me with respect.” He finishes, voice raising slightly in frustration before he settles it back to a more composed volume.

“No.” You shake your head, “That’s not how shit works.”

“Yes,” He bites back sternly, “If you want me to keep funding your life you’ll—“

Normally, you let your father say whatever it is he wants to say, tell him you really don’t care what he thinks and then for about a month he doesn’t text you. Then it’s ‘I want to improve our relationship’ and ‘I feel like you’re drifting away’. Today was not a normal day, however.

“Then cut me off.” You say with a shrug, “You can’t hold that shit over my head like I ask for the money you send, which you only send because you know you’re a shit father and you feel guilty.”

He doesn't respond, his jaw shifting, so you continue. 

“And considering the fact that you are a cheater yourself, why the fuck would I listen to a word you say when it comes to my own love life?” You ask, not really caring that you aren’t exactly speaking quietly, “Eunseok deserved a fire poker to the face, and I used it on his car instead. Which is what Mom should have done when she found you with the nanny.”

“Quiet down, you’re making a scene.” He hisses, and you tilt your head and look around as if you give a single fuck. “I already took care of Eunseok’s car, which will be taken out of your allowance—“

Your eyes narrow at his words, “You paid to repair his car?”

Your father doesn’t skip a beat as he continues, “—Yes, I did. And you don’t get to throw the biggest mistake I’ve ever made back in my face—“

“Yes, I do.”

“—No, you don’t.” 

“Yes, I do.” You argue back stubbornly, continuing before he can speak over you again, “And you paid for Eunseok’s car, the same boy who fucked one of my best friends for months while actively dating me and you don’t see a single problem with that?”

“His parents were discussing pressing charges—“

“That’s when you tell them to go fuck themselves.” 

He sighs at your words, clearly sick of your temper (which you inherited from him), “You need to start handling your emotions better, you’re graduating this year.”

“I have literally witnessed you throw a chair in anger, get someone else to say that to me.” 

He seems ready to respond, when the waiter comes with the food, and you speak before he can, politely asking if you can get a to-go box for it instead. Your father doesn’t seem to have the guts to speak as the waiter glances between you both unsurely before nodding, “Of course.”

He takes the dish back and the moment he is out of ear-shot, your father says, “We aren’t done talking.”

“I am.” You shrug, clearly not willing or planning on sitting here any longer than you have to.

The waiter is back out with your to-go container wrapped in a bag that has mint-chocolates inside as well as a complimentary box of breadsticks that you’ll probably eat while crying your eyes out later. You ignore the stern orders from your father to sit back down, thanking the waiter with a polite smile and promptly walk out of the restaurant. 

The tears of frustration start falling the moment you’re in the safety of your car, a soft curse leaving your lips as you put the bag of food in the passenger seat and pull out of the parking lot, turning ‘this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift all the up as you drive the highway back home. You ignore the texts from your father, as well as the calls.

You’re at the red light before turning into your neighborhood when Riki’s caller ID shows up on the screen of your console, and you debate even answering, but wipe your eyes and clear your throat as you press the green answer button, “Hello?” 

Your voice is more stable than you expected it to be, and Riki responds in kind, “Hey, I just got out of practice—you okay?”

“M’fine, what’s up?” You say with an attempt at a sneaky sniffle, the thought of him knowing you’re crying is too humiliating. Part of you is disappointed he somehow could tell that something was up. The other part of you, the vulnerable and hurt teenage girl with daddy issues and a yearning to be listened to and understood, begs to just break down. 

He doesn’t seem to buy it, you hear the sound of keys jingling and then a car door opening and shutting, then he’s speaking again, “You sure?”

The light turns green, and you finally turn into your neighborhood, “I’m fine.” It’s almost a snap, one you instantly regret as you quickly say, “Sorry, just—“

“It’s okay,” He assures, and you feel even more guilty, more tears threatening to fall as your bottom lip trembles again. You’re pulling into your driveway as he continues, “Wanna talk about it over lunch?”

“I just got lunch with my dad, actually,” You say with a soft, bitter laugh, voice wavering and a soft curse leaving your lips the moment it does, “Fuck, sorry, this is just weird.”

He seems a bit panicked by the way your voice only turns more tearfilled as you apologize, “Hey, don’t worry about it, seriously—“ There’s a sound like a knock on the other end, and you hear him whisper something like ‘go away’ before he’s continuing, “—sorry I teased you earlier today, I, uh, thought I made you mad so I was calling to make up for it.”

A soft sob leaves you as you laugh with it, “I’m not mad about that, but I did wanna talk about it,” You sniffle, “About Nayeon, I mean.”

“You don’t have to, I was just messing with you.” You can imagine him shaking his head slightly as he speaks, “She didn’t really say much, just asked if we were dating.”

“What’d you say?” You find yourself asking.

He hesitates before answering, “Yeah.”

It sends a weird hot jolt to your stomach and your worried lips turn into a girlish smile that you quickly wipe off your face, “That’s okay, y’know. I’m pretty sure my friends have been telling everyone you’re my boyfriend, so the whole ‘taking it slow’ shit is out the window.”

He chuckles on the other end and it flips your stomach like a fucking pancake, “Great, I’m not that type anyway.”

(There’s a feral voice in the back of your conscience that screeches like it’s a beast gnawing at the walls of its enclosure.)

Your teeth catch your bottom lip and your eyes shut like you’re trying to come back to Earth and not hang up out of pure flustered reflex. You force out a response, “Just means we have to make it more believably genuine.”

“What’s your plan, pretty girl?” 

Oh, you want to bang your head into the steering wheel. “Do you mind coming over? I wanna discuss it in person but I just got home.”

You jaw slackens in shock at your own words, looking into the rear view and mouthing at yourself; Bitch, what the fuck—

“Yeah, sure. What’s the address?” His response is so natural and unperturbed the catastrophizing your brain has done in the last second slips away and you silently scream.

A second later you respond like normal, “I’ll text it to you.”

“Okay, I’m on my way, then.”

When the two of you hang up after a few more words, you realize what you have done and quickly turn off your car, grabbing the food and your purse and hastening into the open garage, struggling with the doorknob and pressing the garage door button before entering. 

Your room isn’t messy, per say, but your duvet is covered in cat fur, and you don’t even know if Riki’s allergic to them or not. “Gus, can you move, please?” You ask your cat as you begin to pull the duvet off your bed but he remains unmoving on the end of your bed.

He blinks at you slowly, and you sigh. 

After taking too much time carefully moving the duvet from under your cat and hurriedly tossing it into the laundry room while grabbing your spare to put on the bed instead, the doorbell rings.

With one(at least three) last look in the mirror to check your appearance, still in the outfit you changed into for lunch with your dad, you open the large iron front door.

“Hi.” You greet softly with a slight smile, and Riki has one himself that almost looks shy.

He bites his bottom lip and says back, “Hi.”

As you let him in, you look down at the door handle, waiting for him to step inside before shutting it behind him.

As his eyes move to assess his surroundings with slow steps, you catch up to him, grabbing his sleeve and pulling his hand from his pocket as you tug him along toward your room with unhurried steps. He lets you, though you hear the chuckle under his breath.

“That’s Gus. I hope you’re not allergic to cats.” is the first thing that leaves your mouth as you pull him into your cleaned room(though you’ll have to un-ass your closet later), and he gasped softly.

The voice that comes out next is higher in pitch and softer as he hesitantly approaches your loafing cat, who sniffs his fingers for a second or two before headbutting them. You witness Riki practically melt as he coos at the feline that happily receives his pets.

“Wanna guess his full name?” You jest, and he hums, looking over at you curiously but not halting his petting of Gus. “Gazpacho.”

Riki looks elated by the information, grinning so prettily you want to use the vintage lotus lamp on your nightstand to beat your head against, and he softly goes back to cooing, “Hi, Gazpacho.”

A giggle laugh leaves your lips that you quickly cover with your mouth and a quick avert of your gaze, eyes landing on the whiteboard against your wall. The fucking whiteboard.

“Oh, fuck.” leaves your lips before you can stop yourself but you’re already moving to grab the object of your doom, “Don’t look, close your eyes.”

Your demands are met with pure boyish defiance, and his eyes follow your movement to your closet door, opening it just enough to toss the whiteboard inside and quickly shutting it. “You saw nothing.”

He slowly pulls away from Gus with a growing suspicious smirk, “I’m scared to ask.”

“It’s just a whiteboard, nothing of consequence written on it, or anything.” You say with a purse of your lips.

“A whiteboard?” He questions with a tilt of his head.

You nod, moving away from your shut closet door and taking the opportunity to change the subject, “My stepdad’s a physicist.”

“Ooh, that’s cool.” He says with a thumbs up, taking the moment to move his eyes around the room as he had been distracted by the cat, “This is a nice house.”

“Thank you,” You respond softly out of instinct, “My mom’s a big lawyer too, so….”

“Ah, right, I think Jake mentioned that once.” He nods, sitting in the bean bag(you’ll have to break the news to Eunchae later).

You hum, sitting on the edge of your bed beside Gus and petting him, “What do your parents do?”

He has a slightly shy grin on his face as he says, “They own a pretty big dance studio.”

“That’s super cool.” You compliment with a tilt of your head, “Do you dance?”

If you could audibly coo at the redness blooming on the tips of his ears as he nods slightly you would, but you settle with a giggle that has him squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment, “I do, yeah.”

“I did ballroom for like, ten years.” 

It’s as if you’ve revealed a hidden treasure, and he asks, “Do you still know how?”

You immediately hold up a defiant hand, “I am not showing you, and it’s been years.”

He whines, hands moving to clasp pleadingly, “Aww, c’mon, I’ll take you to my family’s studio and show you mine.”

This piques your interest and you ask before you can think about it, tone playfully flirty, “Taking me to meet your parent’s so soon?”

He chuckles softly, voice still so low, “Like I said, I don’t like slow.”

It takes a few more minutes of pointless chatter(and many more flirty remarks that make you want to scream into your pillow) before you get to the core of your problems today; Nayeon.

“Okay, wait, so—she and your ex…were together?” He reiterates to better understand, and you nod, and he then asks, “In your house?”

“Why do you think I took the fire-poker to his car?” You shrug, and he has a half-grin on his face.

“I thought that rumor was exaggerated.” He admits, giving you an appreciative once over like he’s impressed, “You’ve got a temper, huh?”

“I’ve never overreacted in my life.” You say with a slight raise of your hands.

He nods with a slight smirk as if he absolutely believes you, “‘Course not.”

“Anyway, she had a major crush on you in freshman year, literally fantasized about your wedding and everything,” You blissfully expose, “And I already had my eyes on you so it all worked out.”

He nods with a hum and slight smirk, “I see, so I’m sweet revenge.”

“The sweetest.” You playfully flirt, and his eyes turn into shy crescents.

“So, who were your other options?” He asks after a few seconds to let the pink on his cheeks fade, and you grin.

“Jealous?” You mimic his tone from earlier in the day and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I am.” The admission falls naturally from his lips and your gut flips, “Curious, too.”

“Jungkook didn’t want me to choose you.” You respond with a tight smile.

His eyes widen, “Coach knows?”

“He’s got an idea.” You respond with a slight shrug.

“Did he suggest anyone else?”

“Jungwon,” You answer easily, snickering softly when he groans and throws his head back, “but he’s a tight-ass, he’d never agree.”

Riki snorts, and with a shrug says, “You’re pretty, I think he’d come around.” Your raised brow has him quickly changing the subject with a curious tilt of his head, “You already had your eyes on me, though?”

His question is cheeky and paired with a matching grin that makes you roll your eyes and fight nervous giggles as you say, “I never said that.”

“Really? ’Cause I heard you say it.” He seems much too determined to not let you move on from the subject but your mother loves to compare you to a mule in regards to obstinance.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shrug innocently.

He leans forward slightly in the beanbag, his elbows resting on his knees, and that grin of his only widens. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“And you’re annoyingly persistent,” you counter, but there’s no real bite behind your words. You stand up, moving toward your desk under the guise of rearranging things that don’t need rearranging, mostly to avoid his knowing gaze.

Riki tilts his head, watching you with amusement. “You know, if you’re trying to throw me off, it’s not working.”

You glance over your shoulder, trying not to crack under the weight of his attention. “Throw you off from what? I’m just tidying.”

“Right. And I’m just here for the cat.”

“Good. Gus loves the attention,” you quip, folding your arms over your chest as you turn back to him.

“But I’m not done yet,” he says with mock seriousness, shifting in the beanbag like he’s settling in for the long haul. “What’s so bad about admitting you’ve been into me? I mean, look at me.” He gestures to himself in a way that’s more playful than cocky, but you still roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t get stuck.

“Wow, humble too,” you shoot back, but the warmth in your cheeks betrays you.

“Hey, just stating facts. Can’t help it if you have great taste.” He pauses, letting the silence stretch just enough to make you squirm. “Besides,” he adds, his voice dipping lower, “you’re kind of making it obvious now.”

Your hands find your hips in defiance. “How, exactly?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he muses, standing up slowly, his movements deliberate as he closes the distance between you. “The way you got all flustered when I asked if you still know how to dance. Or how you won’t look me in the eye right now.”

You refuse to back down, lifting your chin as you meet his gaze. “I’m not flustered. And I’m looking at you right now, aren’t I?”

He smirks, leaning just a little closer, his tone teasing. “Sure you are. But you’re still not answering my question.”

You blink innocently up at him through your lashes and you swear you see his eyes dart below your nose. “What question?”

Riki lets out a soft laugh, a mix of exasperation and amusement, as he shakes his head. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I’ve been told.” You shrug, trying to look nonchalant, but the proximity is starting to get to you.

He watches you for a moment, his smirk turning into something softer, though no less mischievous. “Alright, fine. I’ll let it go. For now.”

“Oh, how gracious of you.” Your sarcasm earns you a grin as he steps back and flops dramatically into the beanbag again, sprawling like he owns the place.

“Gotta keep you on your toes, don’t I?”

“More like get on my nerves,” you mutter, though the twitch of your lips gives you away.

“Same thing.” He winks, and you hate how charming he looks doing it.

The smirk he gives you as he leans back has your stomach doing somersaults, but you refuse to let him see you sweat. Instead, you turn your attention to Gus, pretending to be more interested in your cat than in the boy currently making himself at home in your life—and your head.

As Riki lounges back in the beanbag, his eyes drift lazily around the room again, lingering on the neatly arranged desk and the wall beyond. “You’ve got a pretty organized vibe for someone who just tossed a whiteboard into a closet like it was a bomb.”

You freeze mid-pet, your hand hovering above Gus’s head. “You’re still on about that?”

“I mean, it’s a whiteboard. What kind of secrets could it possibly hold?” His tone is teasing, but the glint in his eyes says he’s not letting it drop.

You debate lying, but the little smirk playing on his lips tells you he won’t believe you anyway. “Nothing important. Just… research.”

“Research.” He repeats with an arched brow, “Like, ‘solving world hunger’ research or me research?“

You groan, dragging your hands down your face. “I hate you.”

“Now I really have to see it.” He starts to rise, and you spring to your feet, blocking his path to the closet.

“Riki, no.”

“Riki, yes.” He steps closer, towering over you slightly, his grin widening as you try to stand your ground.

“Don’t make me sic Gus on you,” you warn, pointing toward the loafing cat.

“Gus and I are best friends now. He’d never betray me.” Riki gestures toward the cat, who yawns dramatically like he’s staying out of it.

“Traitor,” you mutter at Gus, which earns you a laugh from Riki.

“C’mon,” he cajoles, his voice dropping into that infuriatingly soft tone that makes your heart do weird flips. “What’s the worst that could happen if I see it?”

Your resolve wavers, but the idea of him actually reading the whiteboard is too mortifying, “I’ll have to kill you.”

His grin only widens at your threat, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. “Wow, straight to murder, huh? Didn’t realize you were so passionate about…whatever’s on that board.”

“You have no idea,” you mutter, crossing your arms in an attempt to look intimidating. It doesn’t work. Riki’s grin turns smug, like he knows he has the upper hand.

“Now I really need to know.” He leans closer, and the proximity sends your heart into overdrive. You can practically feel the heat radiating from him as he tilts his head, his voice dipping into a teasing drawl. “What if it’s, like, a shrine to me or something?”

The gasp you let out is equal parts offense and panic. “You think way too highly of yourself.”

“I don’t know,” he teases, tapping his chin as though deep in thought. “I’ve heard people do wild things when they’ve got a crush.”

“Bold of you to assume—”

“You’re avoiding the question again.” He cuts you off, smirking as he steps back just enough to lean casually against the end of your bedframe, his arms crossed. “What’s on the whiteboard, really?”

You hesitate, the words sticking in your throat. There’s no way you’re admitting to the utterly ridiculous pros and cons list your friends talked you into. Not yet, anyway.

“It’s… study stuff,” you finally say, your tone lacking conviction. “School projects, maybe some physics equations. Boring things you wouldn’t care about.”

“Physics equations?” he repeats, clearly unconvinced. “Yeah, because I look like the kind of guy who’d buy that excuse.”

“Hey, I’m trying here,” you snap, which only makes him chuckle again.

“I can tell. You’re terrible at it.” His grin softens slightly, the teasing replaced with something that feels a little too close to genuine. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. You don’t have to tell me.”

You blink at him, surprised by his sudden shift in tone but immediately suspicious of it. “Really?”

“Sure.” He shrugs, though there’s still a playful glint in his eyes. “But now I have leverage. You’ll owe me later.”

“Owe you for what?” you demand, but the smug look on his face says you won’t get an answer you like.

“For letting you off the hook, obviously.” He straightens and gives you a wink before heading back to the beanbag like he didn’t just upend your entire equilibrium. “Don’t worry—I’ll think of something good.”

You stare at him, your jaw slightly agape, as he makes himself comfortable again. Gus hops onto his lap, clearly picking sides, and Riki’s attention shifts back to your cat like nothing happened.

“You’re infuriating,” you mutter, though you can’t quite keep the fondness out of your voice.

He glances up, his smirk softening into a smile that’s entirely too charming. “And you love it.”

You hate that you do.

The week passes by with a dreadful speed, and after four whole days of anxiety-induced stomach aches, migraines, and a few breakdowns in the dark privacy of your room at midnight, it is the weekend. 

It is the weekend, and Belle, Hiyyih, and Eunchae bear witness to a minor crash-out.

“I’m gonna puke.” You mumble, sitting on the ottoman at the center of your walk-in closet with your face in your hands as the older two walk around you, going through your options for an outfit.

“Keep that shit in bitch,” Belle says without looking away from the clothes hanging in your closet, pointing a finger blindly at you in warning, “You puke, I puke.”

Eunchae moves towards your hunched form from her spot on your bean bag(which she moved into your closet to sit on), snickering softly as she sits beside you and brings her hand to rub circles on your back. “There, there.”

A part of you wants to snap at her that she isn’t funny, but the act is weirdly comforting so you let her continue. Bahiyyih speaks from where she is in front of your shoe shelf, “Why do you have so many shoes?”

“My mom gets sent them monthly by some guy she was a lawyer for a while ago,” You exhale as you drop your hands into your lap, eyes still closed as you contemplate opening them ever again, “She hates wearing pumps now so she gives them to me or regifts them.”

“What if you wear these?” Hiyyih holds up a pair of Louboutins, and you open your eyes to see before looking at her like she’s crazy.

“Not only is it bowling and I’m gonna have to change shoes anyway, but I’m not wearing a So Kate for something that isn’t even a date, Hiyyih.”

She pouts her bottom lip as she puts them down, and Belle pulls a top from the collection of them hanging in your closet and holds it up in question towards you. After a few seconds of staring at the article of clothing, debating if you remember looking cute in it or not, you nod and she tosses it into the ‘maybe’ pile. 

Two seconds later, you’re hunching over and blindly grabbing a pillow near you to scream into.

Eunchae pats your back again, her snickering turning into full-blown laughter. “Feel better now, drama queen?”

You lift your head just enough to glare at her over the pillow. “No.”

“Good,” Belle says, tossing another shirt into the ‘definitely not’ pile without even showing it to you. “Because if you puke or scream again, I’m calling your mom and telling her you’re being insufferable. She might take those Louboutins back.”

“That’s not funny,” you mumble into the pillow.

“It’s a little funny,” Hiyyih chimes in, holding up a sequined crop top like it’s the Holy Grail. “Okay, but seriously, what about this? It says ‘I’m fun,’ but not, like, too fun.”

Eunchae tilts her head at it. “It also says ‘I moonlight as a disco ball.’”

You groan, sitting up straight and snatching the crop top out of Hiyyih’s hands. “Why is this so hard? It’s bowling! I should just wear sweatpants and call it a day.”

Belle spins around with the precision of a K-drama villain. “Don’t you dare. Do you want to show up looking like his cousin who just rolled out of bed, or like the mysterious, unattainable enigma that you are?”

“Unattainable?” you ask with a hesitant furrow of you brows.

“Yeah, unattainable, as in: unattainable by anyone else but him,” Belle clarifies, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re playing the long game, babe.”

“You say that like this is some kind of psychological warfare,” you deadpan.

Belle shrugs. “It kind of is.”

Eunchae raises a hand like she’s in class. “But what if he’s bad at bowling? Like, gutter ball after gutter ball bad? Do you let him win or destroy him?”

You pause, genuinely considering it. “Destroy him, obviously.”

“Bold choice.” Hiyyih nods approvingly, tossing a pleated skirt into the maybe pile. “What if you’re bad, though?”

You gasp. “That’s not even an option.”

Belle smirks. “So confident for someone who hasn’t touched a bowling ball since middle school.”

“You’re supposed to be helping me, not roasting me!” You grab the nearest pillow and launch it at her. She dodges with ease, laughing as it smacks into the closet door behind her.

“Roasting you is my way of helping you,” Belle retorts, unfazed. “It’s called multitasking.”

Eunchae picks up the discarded pillow and hands it back to you, patting your head like you’re a distressed pet. “There, there. At least you’ll look cute while you embarrass yourself.”

“Why are all of you like this?” You drop your head back into your hands, half tempted to cancel the whole thing.

“Because we love you,” Belle sing-songs, pulling out a denim jacket that you forgot you even owned. “Now shut up and try this on. We’re on a schedule, ho.”

You sigh, begrudgingly taking the jacket as the three of them continue their chaotic brainstorming session around you. It’s not helpful in the slightest, but somehow, it makes you feel a little less like throwing up again.

By some miracle—or maybe just the collective force of Belle’s bullying, Eunchae’s comfort, and Hiyyih’s endless suggestions—you finally land on an outfit. The moment you pull the halter top over your head, the three of them fall silent, which is either a very good sign or a very bad one.

“Okay, that’s cute,” Belle finally declares, hands on her hips like she personally designed the top. “It’s giving effortless, but still hot enough to make him sweat.”

“It’s super cute on you,” Hiyyih chimes in, tilting her head as she appraises the outfit.

“It is,” Eunchae adds, grinning as she slides off the bean bag to circle you.

The cropped halter top clings just right, the rich color complementing your skin tone and making you feel…hot. Paired with the baggy jeans that sit low on your hips, the whole look is casual, but not too casual. You glance at the mirror, adjusting the jeans slightly and eyeing the way they pool at the hems over your socked feet.

“Am I pulling this off?” you ask hesitantly, smoothing the fabric of the top.

Belle snorts. “If he’s not staring, I’ll be personally offended on your behalf.”

Eunchae pretends to swoon dramatically, throwing herself back onto the bean bag. “The mysterious unattainable enigma strikes again.”

“Okay, but shoes,” Hiyyih cuts in, crouching by the pile of options at your feet. “You’re wearing sneakers, obviously, but which ones? The Nikes or the New Balances?”

You glance down, debating for a moment before pointing to the Nikes. “They’re cleaner.”

Belle raises an eyebrow. “Barely. When was the last time you cleaned your shoes?”

You glare at her, picking up a sneaker and threatening to launch it her way. She holds up her hands in mock surrender, moving to pull a jacket from the rack as she says, “Make sure you bring a jacket, though. It’s cold as shit.”

“Or she can not bring one and Riki can lend her his.” Eunchae suggests with a cheeky grin.

Belle promptly tosses the jacket into the back of your closet.

You roll your eyes but can’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. The nerves are still there, bubbling under the surface, but with your friends around—and an outfit that actually makes you feel cute—you start to think that maybe, just maybe, tonight won’t be a complete disaster.

riki 🙈: im here

“We’re seeing you off,” Belle declares, handing you the Prada bag she just stuffed your lip combo into. Hiyyih trails behind her, spritzing your neck and wrists with your favorite perfume.

The dread must be plastered all over your face because Eunchae immediately starts snickering from where she’s leaning against the doorframe. “We just wanna see his reaction.”

“To me or to you guys making kissy faces at him from the porch?” you deadpan.

The chorus of giggles that erupts from your three friends is all the answer you need.

“Oh, come on,” Belle says, looping her arm through yours as she drags you toward the front door. “We’ll behave.”

“You behaving is a scientific impossibility,” you mutter, trying to resist, but she’s got the strength of someone fully committed to the bit.

“Hold on,” Eunchae pulls something out of her hoodie pocket she must’ve forgotten was there until just now, uncapping the small bottle and holding it in front of your lips, “Open.”

You obey with a slight furrow of your brows, and she sprays it into your mouth, giggling when you flinch slightly in surprise and grimace at the strong mint taste. Eunchae grins, unzipping the bag on your shoulder just enough to slip it in before closing it, “To prevent food breath.”

The moment Belle opens the front door, your breath catches at the sight of Riki leaning casually against the passenger side of his Wrangler, hands tucked into his pockets. The golden light of the setting sun highlights the faint smirk on his face, his jewelry glinting as he shifts.

"Lord have mercy," you mutter under your breath.

You didn't expect him to show up in sweatpants and a hoodie, but you weren't prepared for this either. The necklaces layering his collarbones and the glint of piercings--does he have an eyebrow piercing?—are almost too much. You quickly shove down the spiral threatening to start and glance back at the three traitorous girls behind you.

Their kissy faces drop immediately, though Eunchae barely suppresses her laughter. 

With a playful shove to Hiyyih—who stumbles into the porch pillar but resumes her antics without missing a beat—you flip them all a perfectly manicured middle finger and step off the porch.

As you walk toward him, you swear the faintest blush tinges his ears. He waves briefly at your friends before straightening and meeting your gaze.

"You look good," he says, voice low and easy.

"I know." Your response is swift and confident, though the smile on your face is warmer than intended.

The moment is interrupted when the backseat window of his car rolls down, and Jake's grinning face is revealed. Your smile drops.

"Why is Jake in your car?" you deadpan, your smile dropping.

Riki groans, dragging a hand over his face. "Dude, I told you not to be weird."

Jake looks offended. "I didn't even say anything!"

"Seeing your face is enough," you reply flatly. Jake pouts dramatically while you shoot Riki an accusatory glare. "You could've warned me."

"If I did, you would've come out frowning," Riki whines playfully. "You have such a pretty smile."

From the backseat, Jake's obnoxious "ooooh" echoes, accompanied by giggles that make Riki's blush spread down his neck. Still, he keeps his composure enough to open the passenger door for you.

"What a gentleman~," Belle teases loudly from the porch.

Eunchae waves at you, practically bouncing with glee. You shoot Belle a glare, mouthing "kill yourself" as you accept Riki's hand and climb into his lifted car.

"Bye, Manchae," you call, snapping your attention away from him as he closes the door. You're too aware of his cologne and the lingering warmth of his hand. He looks way too good.

Riki salutes your friends playfully before circling to his door. Through Jake's open window, you hear Hiyyih shout, "She likes Dr Pepper!”

"And winning!" Eunchae adds.

"And tongue," Belle finishes just before the window rolls up.

You cringe. Riki's amused laugh is confirmation he definitely heard that. "I hate her so much," you mutter, pulling the sun visor down to touch up your lip gloss to dostract yourself.

You're halfway through the motion when you notice Riki hasn't started driving yet. Turning, you catch him just as he’s looking back at the road, his hand on the gear shift. (There’s something attractive about the fact he drives stick.)

Jake's giggle breaks the silence. "Oh, shut up, Jake," you snap, not necessarily to defend Riki—though it only makes Jake laugh harder. “Why couldn't your other friends bring him?" you grumble, swiping the gloss over your bottom lip.

"He's my neighbor," Jake says cheekily.

"I would've made him walk," you reply, clicking the gloss shut and shoving it back into your bag. "Or Uber."

"That's just cruel," Jake protests, but you shrug.

"Sucks."

Riki snickers and nods. "Okay, he'll Uber next time."

Jake looks appalled. "Bro."

"You're annoying me too," Riki replies, barely glancing back as he rests his hand lazily on the gear shift.

You pointedly ignore the way his rolled-up sleeves expose a line of muscle up his forearm, a vein standing out as he moves to grab his phone charger. "Play your music," he says, holding the cord out to you.

Jake gapes. "Bro, you never let us play our music."

"That's because you guys have shit taste," Riki says without hesitation.

Your lips twitch, a sliver of pride blooming in your chest.

You connect your phone, Sabrina Carpenter's Taste filtering through the speakers. Jake perks up. "Oh, I actually like this song."

"You better," you reply, humming along as the music plays.

Riki bobs his head lightly to the beat, his usual laid-back energy soothing you as the drive continues.

"Who else is bowling with us?" you ask, turning the music down slightly.

"Jay, his girlfriend, and Heeseung," Riki answers casually.

You hum in understanding and turn the volume back up, inhaling the soft musk of his cologne mingling with your perfume. The scent is annoyingly pleasant, calming in its own way.

By the time he pulls into the parking lot and finds a good spot, the sky has dimmed to a deep navy. Riki is out of his seat in a flash, jogging around to open your door before Jake even unbuckles himself. His hand lingers on yours as he helps you down, his fingers interlocking with yours naturally.

Jake trails behind you two as Riki leads you toward the neon-lit entrance, the muffled sounds of bowling balls and laughter drifting through the glass doors. 

Jay, a pretty girl you are pretty sure was in your art class in freshman year, and Heeseung are standing near the entrance, and you wish you could hide behind Riki from their gazes that immediately find your intertwined hands.

You send a smile to the only other girl reflexively, and she sends the prettiest one back. She grins excitedly as the three of them meet your trio halfway once you enter the door that Riki holds open for you to enter first. 

(You wonder if these are manners his sisters and mother taught him or a previous girlfriend—wait, no you don’t.)

“I told you it was her!” She smacks Jay’s arm, and he winces with a soft laugh, clearly used to his girlfriend’s antics. Her approach is welcomed as she explains, “He was saying Riki was lying.” 

“About?” You question curiously, an easy smile on your glossy lips.

She giggles as she answers, “You being his girlfriend.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Riki says lowly, clearly embarrassed by the subject as you snicker at his misfortune.

“I’m Gaeul, by the way.” The girl states with a giggle as she pulls you from Riki with her elbow hooked with yours, and you barely glance back at your ‘boyfriend’, who’s being patted on the shoulder by Jay. “They’ll handle paying for everything, let’s get some snacks.”

“Oh, okay.” You say softly before smiling with her, delighted that she brought up food before you had to ask Riki about it. You aren’t ashamed of eating, or shy about doing so in front of him, but having another girl who also seems to prioritize food was immensely comforting to the anxiety in your gut. 

She grins as the two of you step into line at the concession counter, “I’m also glad I got you away from the boys for a second, they’re so…”

“Boyish?” You finish, and she laughs softly.

“Yeah.”

“Girl to girl,” You start, moving up in line with her, “I don’t think I’m gonna be good at bowling.” 

She gasps joyfully, “I suck!”

You laugh at her clear excitement that she’s finally not alone in that aspect, “But that means the boys are better than us.”

She rolls her eyes at the mention of them, “Riki and Heeseung are the really good bowlers,” There’s one more person between you two and the counter now, “I love my boyfriend, but he and Jake suck compared to those two.”

“I don’t want to lose to Jake.” You sigh, “It just doesn't seem ethical.”

“Riki’ll handle him.” She snickers softly, “You should've seen him at practice when Jake and Hoon messed with you.”

Your interest is piqued, but the person in front of you finishes paying for their food and you are forced to put your questions aside as she begins ordering and you realize you don’t even know what you want. 

You’re skimming over the menu above when your phone dings in your purse.

riki 🙈: what size shoe do u wear?

Quickly typing an answer, you glance between your phone and the menu, and Gaeul turns to you, waiting for you to add to the already sizable order with how much the four athletes can eat. “Oh, I can pay for myself—“

“Riki already venmoed me enough to spot you,” She interjects with a soft giggle, and you feel your cheeks burn.

“Oh,” You let out before shaking your head and looking at the waiting cashier, “A large drink and a basket of cheese fries, please.”

Gaeul hands you the stack of cups she’s handed, and you startle slightly when a hand and arm appear in your vision, plucking the cups from your hand. When you look over your shoulder you find a smirking Riki, “I got this. Go sit.” 

You huff softly, fighting your smile that threatens to grow even wider, “I can fill up my own drink.”

“I know, but I wanna do it.” He states with a nod like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and you can’t do much more than glare weakly. He only chuckles softly as Gaeul finishes paying and realizes he’s with you, “Go. Dr Pepper, right?.”

You look away from his cheeky smirk with a shift of your jaw, and you lose the fight against the grin now on your face, “I hate you.”

He only huffs softly in amusement as you walk away with your arms crossed, making your way to where you spot Heeseung’s orange hair. There’s a pair of green bowling shoes beside another bigger pair that are red placed on the bench seating, and Jake has a grin on his face the moment you sit down to put them on.

“I am not above hitting you in the head with a bowling ball, Jake.” You say as you pull the white sneakers off your feet to put on the bowling shoes, not even soaring the Australian boy a glance as his mouth shuts, clearly rethinking speaking.

Heeseung snorts, “Shit, you are violent.”

You look up from your bowling shoes at the Lacrosse captain, who’s grin drops and he quickly looks away, acting like he wasn’t just laughing. Jay shakes his head with a laugh, “Thank you, for shutting them up.”

You give him a smile with a scrunch of your nose, “My pleasure.”

The moment Riki and Gaeul return, you’ve barely gotten your shoes tied. You’re still shooting looks at Jake, who’s pretending to look anywhere but at you while Jay wheezes softly into his hand. Riki raises a brow, setting a tray of drinks and snacks on the table. “What happened now?”

“She threatened Jake’s life with a bowling ball,” Heeseung informs him with amusement still clear on his face.

Riki pauses mid-sip of his drink, glancing at you with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. “Already? We haven’t even started the game yet.”

You shrug innocently, tugging the laces on your bowling shoes tighter. “He looked like he deserved it.”

“I didn’t even say anything!” Jake argues with a whine, and you roll your eyes.

“You had that stupid look on your face.”

“Not defending him, but that’s just what Jake looks like.” Jay interjects with a finger raised to make a point, and Gaeul smacks his hand lightly with a disapproving shake of her head despite her snickering.

Riki sits beside you, handing you a large cup full of what you assume is Dr Pepper that you immediately taste to prove your theory, humming happily and smiling as you thank him. His smile mirrors yours as he begins to put on his own bowling shoes, and you grab your purse, which you had initially placed to your left, from between the two of you to place it elsewhere.

“Here,” He says softly, grabbing your purse from you to put on his other side with his jacket, which he had shed at some point between entering the building and sitting down, and you mutter a soft ‘oh, thank you’ that has his soft smirk widening just a bit before he focuses back on tying his shoes.

You’re somewhat thankful that they seemed to have agreed on teams instead of each of you having your own scoreboard, though seeing every ‘x’ between your ‘5’ points was embarrassing enough. 

Gaeul seems wholly entertained by the gutter ball she just achieved as you cheer for her from your seat between Riki and Heeseung, too distracted by the fun of the game to see the goosebumps on your arms. You’re leaning forward to pluck a fry from the basket of them on the table when you feel a warm something draped over your shoulders. 

Riki is standing for his turn before you can even react, but across the table Gaeul turns to hide her face in Jay’s shoulder to poorly muffle the high pitched squeal she lets out. You ignore the heat rising up your neck, catching the fry between your teeth to slip your arms into the jacket sleeves.

Jay and Gaeul seem to be the only team playing purely for fun, because Jake and Heeseung are neck and neck with you and Riki on the scoreboard and your ‘boyfriend’ looks less than pleased about it. 

It’s near the last round when Jake scores a miraculous nine points that you mentally prepare to accept defeat, looking up at Riki who had just gotten back with your refilled cup, “Horrible news.”

He raises his brows, looking at the scoreboard and cursing under his breath. It’s your final turn, and while you hadn’t completely embarrassed yourself with your subpar bowling skills you probably weren’t good enough or lucky enough to score anything higher than six points. At the moment, HeeJake is in first place.

Gaeul is cheering you on with her back against Jay’s chest, and Riki leans down, resting a hand on the edge of the table beside you, his face just close enough to make your heart race. “No pressure,” he says softly, smirking. “But if you lose, we’re never hearing the end of it.”

You roll your eyes, trying to act unimpressed. “Great pep talk. Truly inspiring.”

He snickers softly, straightening back up as you stand with dread clear on your pretty face. Heeseung pipes up, “Give her a good luck kiss, Romeo.” The glare you shoot the Lacrosse captain only makes him snicker with his hands held up in mock-surrender, “Was just a suggestion.”

The feigned smile you give him has your fake boyfriend plucking your drink from your hands (how did he knew you had an urge to throw it at Heeseung’s face, you’ll never know), and his hands move to your shoulders to walk with you to edge of the lane to grab a pink 7lb bowling ball.

Riki’s grip on your shoulders lingers, and he leans down slightly to murmur near your ear, “Just—aim in the middle.”

You glance at him over your shoulder with a withering look, choosing to ignore his proximity, “Like that isn’t what I’ve been doing.”

“Could've fooled me—ow! Okay, okay,” He’s still laughing despite rubbing his chest where your punch landed, much too cheeky for your liking but his smile is too…something for you to want to wipe it off his face, “You’re better than Jake.”

You shoot him a skeptical look, but it’s hard to ignore the encouragement in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, you grip the heavy pink ball tightly, positioning it at your waist. Riki steps back, hands on his hips, his smirk still in place.

“Alright, show us what you’ve got, baby.”

“Oh, shut up.” You grumble softly, shooing him away to get his heart-fluttering grin out of your face, and as you pull his oversized sleeves up your arm to keep it from getting in the way you give yourself a mental pep talk.

Don’t lose, bitch.

It doesn’t help that your nails make putting your fingers in the three designated holes a struggle, and the moment the ball is released into the lane, veering left toward the gutter before God herself takes control and it curves back toward the center and slams into the center pin, you cover your face.

Strike!

Gaeul practically shrieks in excitement as the pins scatter, “Yes, girl!”

You blink, lashes fluttering as you process the cheering as well as groans from Jake, and you gasp, “Holy shit!”

Riki’s joyous laughter is infectious and warm, and you let out a soft shriek that fades into giggles as his arms wrap around your waist and he lifts you off your feet in a hug, “Hell yeah, baby!” 

The moment your feet are back on the ground, Gaeul is before you with her hands up for high fives, practically bouncing in excitement for you. It’s practically second nature to you as you match her energy, too high on your miraculous win to notice Riki’s hands lingering on your waist.

Another thing you fail to notice in your moment of joy is a familiar couple just a few lanes over, one party too distracted by the ruckus to pay any attention to the game her boyfriend and his friends dragged her to join.

She watches you smile and laugh as Riki helps you out of your bowling shoes, and her eyes follow you as you walk toward the restrooms with the light blue Prada bag she had always wished you would give her. It isn‘t fair.

You sigh softly as you place your bag on the sink in front of you, unzipping it to grab your lip combo to touch up in the mirror before going back out. As you uncap your lipliner with a muffled click, you hear the bathroom door open but don’t think much of it at the moment.

It isn’t until you look into the mirror, leaning forward slightly to see your lips better, that you see who it is.

“Can I help you?” You ask her reflection with a tilt of your head, tone less confrontational than it should be, but you’re trying to keep your good mood and Nayeon’s face is threatening to ruin it.

She scoffs softly, yet keeps a safe distance, “Do you even like him?”

You look away from the mirror to really look at her, ignoring the satisfaction that her slight flinch brings you, “Excuse me?”

“You moved on fast.” Nayeon states, and you scoff with a smile of both fury and amusement at her audacity, “Is it even real, or did you use daddy’s money to get him to date you?”

The tilt of your head should have been a sign for her to shut her mouth, but she continues when you don’t respond like usual, “But I guess moving from one guy to another is just like you.”

She’s just trying to rile you up, it’s obvious. 

You shake your head with a soft and bitter laugh, looking back at the mirror to continue what you had intended to do, the lip pencil gliding over the edges of your lips and the pad of your ring finger blending the harsh edges. 

Her jaw shifts in the reflection as you cap your lip-liner and exchange it for your lip gloss, and you send her a condescending smile, “You done?”

“You bitch—“ Her words are cut off by another person entering the bathroom, and as you swipe the gloss over your lips, you pause when you see it’s Gaeul.

She glances at Nayeon, but her main focus is on you as she says, “Ready to go?”

You hide your confusion at her question with a pretty smile, closing your gloss and stuffing it back into your bag before you walk to her, shoulder checking the audacious bitch on your way out, “Yep.” 

Gaeul’s arm hooks at your elbow as you both exit the bathroom, and you sigh in relief at being out of that situation before you remember your prior confusion and she explains without you needing to ask, “Your ex is at our table antagonizing Riki, I figured if he’s here she would be too.” 

Your brows furrow and you quickly pick up the pace of your stride with fury souring your mood once again. When you turn the corner, your gaze zeroes in on Riki, who’s leaning back in his seat seemingly unbothered by whatever it is that Eunseok is saying to him, and Nayeon hastens past you to join her boyfriend’s side.

Eunseok’s eyes land on you the moment his girlfriend puts herself on his arm, and they follow you as you approach Riki without even a glance his way until he speaks, “You move on fast.” He snorts, soft and bitter, “Didn’t expect you to open your legs so fast considering how long it took you to put out.”

You ignore him, though the anger in your gut is boiling hot as your gaze moves to Riki, who you find is already standing now, his jaw shifting yet no other sign in his body language that he’s as pissed as his narrowed eyes say he is. Jay, Heeseung, and Jake all watch, though from their body language you can tell they’re not exactly about to stand by if your ‘boyfriend’ decides to throw a well-deserved punch.

His gaze moves to yours the moment your hand finds his, softening as your fingers intertwine with his and you mutter, “Let’s go.”

He nods wordlessly, his willingness only pissing Eunseok off more as he laughs mockingly, and you feel Riki’s hand tighten around yours, “Already got him trained, huh? He like how mean you are?” 

“I do, yeah.” Riki responds for you with a smug smirk, “She’s got a hell of a bite.”

The second meaning to his words isn’t lost on you, and you find the way Eunseok bristles at the comment amusing enough to not get mad at Riki for it later considering the two of you obviously hadn't done more than hold hands. (You hear Jake choke on his drink, too.)

“Bro, it’s your turn!” Calls a familiar male across the bowling alley, Sohee. 

You take the moment of brief distraction to shoot a pointed look at Jake, who gets up from his seat to play peacemaker with Heeseung.

Jay seems to motion for Riki to leave while they’re distracted by the two, and you shoot Gaeul an apologetic glance that she receives with a shake of her head and a look that reads ‘don’t be sorry’ as Riki leads you out of the building.

The moment the frigid air hits you, you tug the sleeves of his jacket down your arms again and shiver slightly. “He’s such a dick.” You sigh softly, “I’m sorry.”

Riki shakes his head as the two of you stop just a few paces outside the entrance, “Don’t apologize.” His hands move to rub at your arms to help you warm up, and the sight of both of your breaths visible in the cold has you moving to take his jacket off to give to him, but his hands cover yours the moment they start pulling at the open zipper. “I’m okay.”

“Riki, it’s cold as shit.”

“All the more reason for you to keep the jacket.” He argues back with a soft smirk, “Really, I practice in the cold every day.” 

“You’re active, then. Not standing around,” You fuss, and he tilts his head slightly in acknowledgement before a cheeky smirk grows on his face.

“‘You worried about me, pretty girl?”

“Oh, stop it.” You groan with a poorly concealed warm laugh, and he catches your hands as you weakly swat at his chest, pulling you closer. “Riki.”

Your soft mutter of his name has his eyes shutting and his head falling back with a soft groan escaping his lips, “You’re so mean, baby.”

“It isn’t fair to you.” He doesn’t seem pleased by your statement, shaking his head and leaning forward to press his forehead to yours.

“Just a kiss.” He pleas softly, his nose brushing yours and you inhale sharply, “Just one.”

His words flip your stomach inside out, and as you sigh his name again he leans in.

“Oh shit!” The sudden exclamation has you and Riki both startling away from each other, Jake grinning like a maniac at the doors with Heeseung, Jay, and Gaeul behind him. “Fuck, did I just ruin a moment?”

You groan, turning away from them to begin walking to Riki’s Jeep, arms crossed to protect yourself from the cold and your mind in utter shambles because—

What the fuck?

Jake gets a ride from Heeseung home according to Riki, who had unlocked his car for you to get in while he said goodbye to the others. A part of you regrets not saying goodbye to Gaeul, but the thought of spending another second under their gaze at that moment felt suffocating.

The silence in the car is loud. Not awkward loud, but loud enough that every glance out the window and every shift in your seat feels amplified. Riki’s hands stay firmly on the wheel, his fingers drumming against the edge of the leather cover as he fiddles with the turn signal.

“So,” he starts, his voice casual but slightly strained, “you’ve got a mean bowling game for someone who swore they’d lose.”

You glance at him, catching the way the passing streetlights make his jawline look sharper. “That’s because I hustle. Low expectations are a great strategy.”

He huffs a small laugh, his lips twitching into a smirk. “Guess I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

You lean back against the seat, trying to ignore the fact that your heart still hasn’t settled since that moment at the alley—the one where his face was too close, his breath too warm, and you almost forgot this whole thing was fake.

“So… next time?” you tease, arching a brow. “How much more mortifying teasing can you handle?”

“Depends,” he says, keeping his eyes on the road. “How long does it take to make your ex think he lost the best thing that ever happened to him?”

Your laugh comes out before you can stop it. “It’ll probably never happen, I just like to see him squirm.” The weight of his words sits in the air between you, heavier than it should be. You turn to look out the window, feigning interest in the row of darkened houses you pass by. 

“You know,” he says after a beat, his voice quieter now, “I don’t think they’re worth this much effort. Your ex and… her.”

You blink, surprised at his shift in tone. “Well, thanks for that motivational speech, Riki. Really helps my self-esteem.”

He shakes his head, glancing at you briefly. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean… if they couldn’t see how good they had it with you, that’s on them. You don’t need to prove anything.”

The sincerity in his voice catches you off guard. You open your mouth to reply, but the words don’t come. Instead, you study him in the dim light, wondering—not for the first time—why he agreed to this in the first place.

“Why are you doing this, Riki?” you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitates, his fingers drumming lightly against the steering wheel. “I told you, I need you to help me pass Chem.”

You narrow your eyes, not convinced but also not ready to push. “You haven’t even asked for help past me giving you my old notes.”

He smirks again, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes this time. “They’re just that helpful. Don’t overthink it.”

And maybe you don’t, because overthinking means dissecting the way he’s looking at you now in the faint glow of the dashboard, like he knows something you don’t.

The car slows to a stop in front of your house and you fiddle with the hem of your halter top, trying to figure out how to say what’s been sitting heavy in your chest since the bowling alley. “Riki,” you start, your voice softer than usual.

He hums in acknowledgment, already looking at you.

You take a steadying breath. “I don’t think… I’m ready for a real relationship.”

That gets his attention. His hands shift in his lap, his expression unreadable. “Okay,” he says after a beat, his tone cautious. “Where’s this coming from?”

You shift in your seat, suddenly finding the dashboard very interesting. “It’s just… you’ve been really good to me this past week, and I feel like it’s not fair to you. I mean, you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel, and I don’t want to lead you on or—”

“Hey.” His voice is calm, steady, and it makes you pause. “You’re not leading me on. I knew what I was getting into.”

“Yeah, but…” You trail off, frustration bubbling up because the words in your head won’t come out the way you want them to. “It’s not just about you. It’s about me, too. I don’t think I’m ready to deal with… all of this. Not after everything with him. It’s too much.”

He doesn’t say anything right away, which somehow makes it worse. The silence stretches, and you’re about to apologize—again—when he finally speaks.

“So, what do you want to do?”

“I think we should stop,” you say, hating how small your voice sounds. “The fake dating, I mean.”

He nods, almost imperceptibly. “If that’s what you want.”

“It’s not—” You stop yourself, biting your lip as your eyes burn. “I just… I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve someone who’s all in, and I can’t be that right now.”

His lips twitch into a faint, almost sad smile. “You’re thinking too much about me again.”

You frown, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs lightly, his eyes moving away from you briefly before they settle back on yours. “It means you’re allowed to put yourself first, you know. I’m a big boy; I’ll survive.”

“But—”

“No buts.” He cuts you off gently, an easy smile still on his face. “If this is what you need, we’ll stop. No hard feelings.”

The simplicity of his response hits harder than you expected. It’s so Riki—quietly selfless, always willing to go along with what makes you happy.

You hate how much you suddenly want to reach across the console and kiss the life out of him. But you don’t. Instead, you swallow the lump in your throat and force a smile.

“Thanks, Riki.”

His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Anytime.”

You watch him exit his car, circle around the front, and open your door for you while holding a chivalrous hand out just like before. A part of your heart aches with the knowledge he’s still doing this despite not technically having to, and you smile softly as you accept his help. His hand doesn’t linger in yours as it did before, though.

The walk to your front door is silent, and he halts just before the step onto your porch, his hands in his pockets, you pause before approaching your door, turning to him. With the few inches that the porch gives you, meeting his gaze is easier. “Tonight was really fun, ignoring the end of it,”

He chuckles softly, “Glad you had fun, pretty girl.” 

If he didn’t mean to let the name slip he doesn’t show any signs of panic or regret, only meeting your nearly-level gaze with warmth.

There’s a moment before you turn your body only slightly towards the front door, “Goodnight.”

His hand catches your elbow gently as you begin to turn away from him, pulling you back yet giving you time to pull away if you so desire, and you don’t.

His lips meet yours in a kiss that’s softer than you imagined it’d be. His hand moves to your cheek yet pauses just before his skin touches yours, lips sweet and slow against yours. 

It’s over before you can kiss back like you want to, his lips parting from yours with a soft smack that makes your stomach flip. 

“Goodnight.” He bids in a low mumble, barely an inch from your lips when the words leave his and he takes a step back with a soft smile that makes your heart twist painfully, “See you Monday.”

You can only nod, forcing a slight smile and turning to punch in the door code with shaky hands and a heavy, aching heart.

part two.

©heedeungism : do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission.

[requiemforthepoets]

you say good morning when its midnight ⟢ OP81 (part 5)

main masterlist | fic playlist | series masterlist

PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader

SUMMARY: you and oscar grew up together, and despite being neighbors and best friends with her sister, hattie, you never really talked or had a conversation with him. until one day, where he randomly texted you out of nowhere.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: use of y/n, (a little) slow burn, humor, fluff, inaccurate information, no consistent face claims, all photos are from pinterest, weird, awkward, unhinge, reader is a little bit ball of a mess, long distance relationships, and minor typographical errors.

WORD COUNT: 555

AUTHOR'S NOTE: part 5! sorry if the update took a little long, i was away for a vacation. but i'm now back, and i'll try to update this series as much as i can. also, this series will be my primary focus for the meantime. i would like to apologize if this is a bit rushed, indecided not to some parts since i wanna focus on the plot, but i hope you'll enjoy this one!

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

It was four days later when the front desk called up to your apartment at Kent Ridge Hill Residences, letting you know that there’s an express package that had arrived for you. Couriers weren't allowed to go up to the units, so you had to head down to the lobby to collect the package yourself.

You linked in confusion, slipping on your slippers as you mumbled a soft, “I didn't order anything.”

You certainly haven't ordered anything. Not even a midnight retail therapy binge your forgot about. Still, you took the lift down and approached the reception desk, signing of the delivery. The box was not heavy, but it was neat, its brown cardboard edges sealed perfectly with a transparent tape that has the “fragile” word printed on the tape, and your name printed clearly on the shipping label. It wasn't large, nust enough to cradle in both arms comfortably.

You carried the box back to up to your apartment, the elevator ride feeling longer than usual. Once you reach your apartment, you quickly went in and locked the door. You sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor of your living room, scissors in hand. You stared at the package for a good minute like it might explain itself if you waited long enough, and then you began carefully slicing through the tape until the flaps peeled back.

As always, your curiosity won out.

You opened the box with care, like it might contain something so fragile. Inside, nestled in a bed of brown paper, were four things: a fridge magnet in the shape of Mt. Fuji that has the word "JAPAN” lettering under it, a tiny sakura petals swaying in a snow globe dome, a frog mug that is oddly shaped like a tiny pitcher, curved and handmade-looking—like it was plucked off the shelf of a sleepy Kyoto ceramics shop, and finally, a delicate matcha tea set—complete with a bamboo whisk, ceramic bowl, and a tin of fragrant powder so green that it could’ve only have come from somewhere special.

You felt your hear skipped a little in your chest. You definitely knew who it was from before you can even see the the note that was tucked neatly beneath the matcha set. But still, your fingers trembled slightly as you opened the small card, written in careful handwriting:

< I didn't buy you a postcard. I figured that’s somethinf you should do yourself, someday, when you’re finally there. I didn't want to take that moment away from you, but I thought I’d help you get started on the fridge magnet collection. Oh, the frog thing was just a spur of the moment thing, it reminded me of you and it looked like it should belong with you. - podium boi >

You read the note not only once, not twice, but three times. You couldn't help it and bit you lip, cheeks burning. The smile that grew on your face didn't stop for a long while. You tucked the note safely on your journaling notebook, then grabbed the fridge magnet and stood in front of your fridge, and with a soft click on the surface, you pressed the magnet into place. There was a quiet warmth blooming in your chest that you didn't quite know what to name just yet.

Postcard-less, for now. But not empty, not anymore.

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

yn.jpg posted to their story!

liked by hattiepiastri, yourmom, your brother, and 13 others

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

taglist: @uuoozzii , @freyathehuntress , @littlemisskavities , @elieanana , @rexit-mo , @imagine-it-was-us , @satorinnie , @pessismisticpotato , @milkysoop , @random-movie , @supersanelyromantic , @greantii , @chirpchirp69 , @purplephantomwolf , @mimisweetz , @frogiemushr0om , @angxedxtz , @hevzo8 , @pandora108 , @ms-darcy23 , @sluttybitch , @proudshinsoukinnie , @pinklemonade34 , @gemi-boi , @elizamoe133 , @sideboobrry11 , @mrrayjay , @curlylando , @soleilgrec , @nothingjustaninchidentt , @suns3treading , @dramallama9 , @1-queenofpotatoes-1 , @suibianupyourass , @armystay89 , @verstappen-leclerc-inchident , @landossainz , @martygraciesversion381 , @larkkyoris , @iloveotters11 , @isagrace22 , @bagelsbitch , @gigigreens , @wolfbc97 , @esw1012 , @raesblues , @mashmashi , @chxseversion , @fairyjinn , @hoseokjin194 , @ihaveitprinteddout , @henryspersonalver , @fctnllvrs , @pinkdeadtopia , @noimnotmae , @henna006 , @quenanababy , @formulaal , @mits-vi , @urmomsgirlfriend1 , @yeahimcrying , @ardentsnowfall , @teamnovalak , @mmsimp

[ellieputellas]

round&round | a. putellas x reader

Your PR team thought that joining Love Island could be an easy way to grow your popularity as a singer but in reality, nothing about it turned out to be easy: the constant drama, the fighting, and of course, living in the villa with Alexia Putellas, who wasn’t going to quit until she had you. ♡ inspired by @lovelettersfromluna's love island fic

tags/contains: islander!Alexia, drama & some comedy, reality TV, love triangle, bombshell!Patri, all-sapphic love island, around 13k+ words

a/n: everything in orange is the Love Island narrator (reference if u're not familiar) and everything indented is commentary or cut scenes

masterlist ♡ the alexia playlist series

⋆˙⟡♡ It's Love Island: Girl's Getaway — the first ever Love Island where it's all 100% girls and no dudes. Here, the girls are hot and the drama? Even hotter. This season, absolutely no one is gonna play it straight. 

Get it? Cause they’re gay.

⋆˙⟡♡ You're an up-and-coming singer. While you found success as a songwriter for several big popstars, writing hit love songs for the likes of Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa, you're yet to make it as a singer.

Why? Cause you've never really been in love. How could you sing about love if you've never experienced it? It was much easier to write a song for someone else: slipping into someone else’s story, their heartbreak, their fairytale. But when it comes to putting your own feelings into a melody... it never felt quite right.

So, your PR team decides that the perfect way for you to get that experience – just enough exposure to get you more comfortable singing about love – and well, also to get more followers was to join Love Island. (Your introduction song was Silk Chiffon – Muna, a song that you actually co-wrote.)

⋆˙⟡♡ Your introduction video was cute, kinda wholesome compared to everyone else's introductions. And while everyone else came into the villa with hot, intense energies, you brought something softer. Your energy was disarmingly gentle and genuine.

And that somehow worked in your favor. All the girls seemed drawn to your authentic energy. On the other hand, you felt intimidated. Everyone was hot, tall, and model-like. You wondered how you could possibly get coupled up if everyone else looked straight out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. 

⋆˙⟡♡ Ahh, our first set of girls are standing tall and looking confident... or secretly regretting their shoe choices. I can't tell. 

They know the drill for the first coupling: if the new girl is your type, step forward.That new girl can now choose among all the girls who stepped forward or if they wanna be naughty, they can steal someone else's couple.

⋆˙⟡♡ You partnered up with the first girl – another musician from England. Her name was Cassie; she had beautiful, soft features that contrasted her tattooed body. She was hot, definitely. Maybe even someone you'd go for outside the villa. But still, something held you back. You weren’t completely sold.

Even so, you stepped forward almost right away.

You couldn’t really explain it. Maybe it was the rush of adrenaline. Maybe it was the fear of being left behind and stuck with someone who wasn’t your type at all. It probably came from both. Either way, your reaction was quick, and that anxious quickness was mistaken for certainty.

Cassie beamed as she walked over to stand beside you. She whispered that she’d felt something the moment she saw you. That she was glad you’d chosen her.

You smiled, but something about it didn’t sit right. You felt stupid, like you'd accidentally promised something you couldn’t follow through on. You didn’t mean to lead her on. You were just trying to survive the moment.

⋆˙⟡♡ That's a pair that looks like they'll make beautiful love songs together... or if things go south, we’re looking at enough breakup songs to rival Taylor Swift’s career. A win for me and my sing-along shower playlist either way!

⋆˙⟡♡ You didn’t fully regret partnering with Cassie as the other girls walked in. Sure, you were a bit hasty with your decision but she definitely was the best choice for you. She had this gentle, genuine energy about her, and she was undeniably attractive with her indie rockstar vibe. She definitely seemed more your type compared to the others.

You were almost sure that you made the right choice… until Alexia walked in. 

(Alexia’s entrance song was Beso – Rosalia.)

⋆˙⟡♡ We try not to rank our Islanders but we certainly did this time cause we saved the best for last! 

It's boots off, bikini on for this beautiful babe with the double Ballon d'Ors. Whew, that's too many Bs!  And what comes before B? A — as in A-lexia! Let's see if our Catalan Captain can score girls as easily as she can score goals.

⋆˙⟡♡ It wasn’t arrogant or boastful, but there was something about her that made it clear she was sure of herself. Perhaps it was the way she walked and carried herself. It just exuded confidence. 

A small smile played at the corners of her lips as she took in the room, her eyes scanning each girl... until they landed on you.

Her gaze felt intense, almost intimidating. It felt like they were studying you. You bit your lip, unable to look away, as her smirk grew, her eyes still locked on yours.

⋆˙⟡♡ You didn't step forward for Alexia. 

Maybe it was because Cassie was standing beside you, her presence grounding you, making you hesitate. Or maybe it was the thought of competing with everyone else who had already stepped forward for Alexia. Either way, something held you back.

You found Alexia insanely attractive and interesting but something was stopping you from stepping forward. 

Alexia raised an eyebrow at you, but said nothing. Instead, she shifted her focus, pairing up with Savannah, the Instagram influencer who was the only one left uncoupled. 

⋆˙⟡♡ Alexia and Savannah — that seems like the perfect power couple to me. She won the World Cup, the Ballon d'Or and every other trophy a footballer could dream of winning. And Savannah... well, she endorses tummy detox tea on Instagram! 

⋆˙⟡♡ After the initial coupling, it was clear that Cassie was already falling hard for you. She couldn’t stop talking about how drawn she was to you, how you were exactly the kind of person she had hoped to meet here. You tried to show the same enthusiasm, to return her feelings, but something held you back. You couldn’t go all-in, not when you could feel Alexia’s eyes on you and Cassie all the time. 

Even when Savannah was practically throwing herself at Alexia, lying across her lap, playing with her hair in the most flirtatious way, Alexia’s gaze still seemed to find its way back to you. It was unsettling and intimidating, and no matter how much you tried to focus on Cassie, it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

As much as you wanted to confront Alexia, to figure out why she seemed so fixated on you and Cassie, you were too shy and non-confrontational. Besides, you didn’t have enough to go on, no reason to bring it up. It felt like you were reading too much into something that could have been nothing at all.

⋆˙⟡♡ You also hit it off instantly with Jade, a part-time dog sitter and part-time voice actor. She was effortlessly cool and laid-back, and she reminded you a lot of your best friend outside of the villa. When Cassie was urged by the producers to chat with the others, Jade found her way over to your sofa lounge.

"So, you guys already seem like the couple to last," she said casually, adjusting the strap of her red bikini as she stretched out beside you. "I'm jealous cause I don’t think April and I have that connection yet.”

You nodded sheepishly, feeling a bit awkward, especially knowing just how unsure you were of your feelings for Cassie. "Yeah… but it’s really only been a day.”

Jade immediately noticed something off, hearing the tension in your voice. "Hey, you good?"

You bit your lip and looked around before leaning closer to the brunette. "What do you think that girl Alexia's deal is?" You asked quietly.

"Alexia? The football player?" Jade looked confused. "Why?"

"I don't know.” You shrugged, trying to act casual even if it has been all you’ve been thinking about for the past hour.  "She seemed to be looking at me and Cassie a lot and it just... it just felt odd, y'know?"

Jade scanned the room quickly, her eyes narrowing as she looked for Alexia. When she didn’t spot her, she shrugged, seeming to consider your words. "Maybe she’s jealous? Her and Savannah? They don’t make sense together, while you and Cassie... well, you two are already tough contenders."

You hummed, unsure of what to make of Jade’s observation. "You really think so?"

"Could be," Jade replied, giving a little shrug. "I mean, she’s pretty intense, and you two... well, you're kinda vibing. It's hard not to notice. A lot of people are not here for love but for the game, and well, she might be one of those people. Do you have any other reason to think so? You think she’s into you or Cassie?”

Jade looked more intrigued, a certain sparkle in her eyes. You paused. You were pretty certain that Alexia’s eyes always found yours but then again, you might have been reading too much into it. She might have actually been into Cassie. “I don’t think I’d be her type,” you responded. “You think Cassie is?”

Jade shook her head. “Nah, I just seriously think she’s jealous of your bond.” She said, settling beside you. “Just focus on Cassie right now. Alexia’ll have to deal with Savannah until she finds someone more interesting.”

⋆˙⟡♡ It had only been less than a day but Cassie was incredibly romantic already: picking flowers from the garden to put in your hair, massaging sunscreen on your back, even putting food on your plate for dinner. You two practically just mer each other a day ago but the way she acted was akin to someone who's been in a relationship for months.

You knew that things move fast in Love Island; you watched several seasons across most the franchises in preparation... but even that couldn't prepare you for Cassie. She seemed like those U-Haul Lesbian stereotypes you always heard about. 

But you figured that if Cassie was this into it, she must be seeing a potential with your coupling. So, you tried to play along, holding her hand and even cuddling up to her whenever you had the chance but you couldn't completely focus on her.

Not when Alexia was constantly staring at you two.

⋆˙⟡♡ You couldn't sleep well your first night in. Mostly because Cassie was smothering you. You never were a fan of cuddling and Cassie was an absolute koala bear in bed, clinging on to you like you were the last eucalyptus tree. 

By the time the first rays of light peeked through the villa, you were wide awake, feeling the sleepiness still hanging over you. You blinked your eyes a few times, trying to shake it off, and gently slipped out from under the covers so you wouldn’t wake Cassie.

You threw on a patterned bikini, smoothed on a bit of makeup to freshen up, and slipped out for a quiet early morning swim

⋆˙⟡♡ You weren’t expecting anyone to be up yet. The lights usually came on at 9 am so everyone was still fast asleep, tucked in sheets or cuddled up with their partner. 

The villa was quiet, the air still cool, the sky just beginning to turn from gray to gold. It felt serene; the perfect time to get an early morning swim session in without having to socialize with anyone else. If you could completely forget about the camera and crew lingering around, it would be an introvert’s dream.

But there she was. Alexia Putellas.

Alone outside, mid-squat with dumbbells on both of her hands, her body steady and focused. She was wearing a black sports bra and matching shorts, her hair scraped back into a ponytail, the light catching on the fine sheen of sweat across her chest and shoulders. 

You subconsciously slowed down your walking. Alexia immediately noticed you.  A lazy smile sprawled on her face as she caught sight of you, her eyes scanning your body. 

“Good morning, guapa." She greeted. "Didn't sleep well?"

You shook your head. "Just an early riser," you lied, not wanting to show signs of incompatibility with Cassie. "You?"

“Athlete’s schedule… kinda just used to waking up this early.” She reached for her water bottle, took a sip, then glanced toward you again. “Wanna join me?”

You gave a soft laugh and shook your head. “I’m more of a pilates and morning swim girl. I don’t really do weights.”

“Pity,” she said, pausing. “Strong legs can help when you’re running from things.”

You blinked, trying to process what she was implying. You narrowed your eyes. “What are you trying to say?"

Alexia chuckled under her breath and picked up the weights again. “Nothing, just fitness advice.”

You turned, ignoring her odd comment, about to keep walking toward the pool, when her voice stopped you. “So,” she said, adjusting her grip on her weights. "Why didn’t you step forward?”

You froze for half a second before slowly facing her again. “Sorry?”

She looked at you fully now, the expression on her face unreadable. Calm, composed, maybe a little amused. “Yesterday. Everyone stepped forward for me. Except you.”

“Except me and Cassie,” You corrected as you furrowed your eyebrows together. You scanned her expression, trying to figure out why she was suddenly bringing this up as your first one-on-one conversation. "Why? Did I hurt your ego?"

Alexia chuckled at your banter. "Ooh, never thought you were the feisty type." She commented. "But seriously, I don't really care for all that. I just... was curious about you."

You licked your lips, suddenly aware of how dry they were. “I guess… I didn’t want the attention. Everyone already wanted you. I was already in a couple. It just didn’t feel worth the chaos.”

She tilted her head. “So…it was about everyone else.”

Your brows furrowed. “What?”

“You didn’t step forward because of them. Not because of me.” A smile played on her lips, subtle but undeniably present. 

You blinked at her, thrown away by her statement. “Well, yeah. What does it matter?”

Alexia paused, then lowered the weights again, slower this time. “It doesn’t. I was just curious.”

Then her eyes locked with yours. Still quiet. Still unreadable.

“So, even if you didn’t step forward, you still want me. Is that right?” She asked. You felt your breath catch. The way she said it wasn’t arrogant. She sounded… genuinely curious. Like she wanted the truth to your attraction. It felt mildly invasive, just enough to make you flush.

Something in your stomach stirred. You looked at the ground before returning your gaze back into Alexia's hazel eyes. God, why is she so intense? 

Before Alexia could prod you to answer, a chirpy voice chimed in. 

"Good morning, darling!" It was Savannah, clad in a tiny white bikini with her bleached blonde hair in a messy bun. She headed immediately to Alexia, ignoring you completely. She wrapped her arms around the Catalan from behind and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Missed you in bed.”

Alexia didn’t move away. But she didn’t lean in either. Her eyes remained locked with yours as if she was still expecting an answer even with Savannah there. You didn’t say anything; you just walked toward the pool, the heat rising to your chest, your stomach turning from the interaction.

You felt Alexia’s eyes on you the entire time.

⋆˙⟡♡ Well, that question seemed heavier than the Barcelona captain's weights. Could Alexia be looking to strike a chord — or a nerve — with our musician?

And as for Savannah. I could say that that was definitely an offside, and by offside, I mean that Alexia wants Savannah off her side.

⋆˙⟡♡ You spent the rest of the day trying to focus on Cassie. 

Something about your interaction with Alexia just made you want to avoid her at all cost and just focus on Cassie. You tried to reciprocate her sweet gestures: cuddling by the pool, sitting on her lap, spoon feeding her breakfast.

It was enough to convince everyone that you were already a solid couple. Maybe even enough to convince yourself.

⋆˙⟡♡ After lunch with everyone, you decided to settle by the pool, sunbathing and trying to get some time alone from the rest of the Islanders.

Jade slithered to you. “You won’t believe what I just heard,” she said, a playful and excited lilt to her tone.

You lifted your sunglasses slightly, giving her a curious look. “Yeah?”

Jade’s grin grew wider as she perched on the edge of your sun lounger, glowing from the joy of gossiping. “Alexia’s been talking smack about you and Cassie.” She said in a lower tone.

Your stomach did a strange flip at the mention of Alexia’s name. “What about us?” you asked, trying to keep your voice casual.

“So, we were sitting around the kitchen, right? Me, River, and April. Just talking about which couples we thought would last. And when we all agreed it was you and Cassie,” she recounted, nodding along as she narrated. “Alexia… well, let’s just say maybe you were right about her yesterday. She does have an issue..”

“Wait, what did she say?” You sat up now, pushing your sunglasses from your face to the top of your head.

“She kinda implied that you and Cassie were just faking it for the cameras,” Jade said with a low voice. "Not her exact words but she said something about preferring couples who aren't all for show, like, actually in love and not for the cameras.”

You froze, unsure of what to think or say. You tried to not seem fake, genuinely trying with Cassie but it felt like she saw right through you. “Did she say why she thought that?”

Jade shrugged. “No but she just said she didn’t think you two were as strong as you seemed.”

You paused, looking at the pool and trying to think it through. Jade looked at you and furrowed her eyebrows. “You seem bothered.”

“Well, yeah…” you paused, considering maybe what you said to her had something to do with it. But then again, you didn't really give anything away. “I mean, I don’t know. It’s just that Alexia…”

You paused your statement as you see Cassie walking towards you, with two smoothies in hand. She flashed you a grin, but when she saw your expression, it faltered. “Hey babe, what’s going on?” She asked as she sat by your feet, handing you your drink.

You sighed, taking a long sip of your smoothie. Jade decided to fill in Cassie for you. “Alexia thinks you're faking it for the cameras,” she explained. “We all thought you two were the couple to look out for but she really wasn’t convinced.”

Cassie’s face instantly tightened, her lips pressing together in irritation. “Seriously? She said that?”

“Right in front of everyone,” Jade said, too pleased with herself. “Like it was no big deal too, as if it was an established fact.”

Cassie let out a small laugh, but it wasn’t a funny one. She seemed annoyed. “I don’t get it. Why does she care so much about us?” She scoffed. “I’m not worried about her opinion. If anything, she should worry about her own relationship.”

Jade chimed in again, her voice dripping with  amusement. “Yeah, and it’s not like she’s paying attention to Savannah anyway. Poor girl’s practically throwing herself at Alexia and getting nothing in return.” She shook her head. “I just don’t know what game she’s playing cause she’s not responding to Savannah’s advances but she also isn’t making an attempt to connect with anyone else at all."

"Yeah, she hasn't pulled anyone else for a chat." Cassie rolled her eyes. “I think she’s just here to stir the pot." 

You stayed silent, sipping your drink.

⋆˙⟡♡ Well, well, well, looks like trouble’s already brewing in paradise, and we haven’t even introduced the snake and the apple yet. And by apple, I don't mean the fruit. I mean, Apple — our new bombshell.

⋆˙⟡♡ Last time on Love Island, the islanders paired up, and the couple on top of the Villa’s Billboard Charts? Singer-songwriter Y/N and band guitarist Cassie. But not everyone’s a fan.

“They just seem so always on,” Alexia said in the recap clip. She shrugged. “I just don’t buy it. It seems too posed. I don’t think they’re really into each other.”

And things are about to get even hotter in paradise with our new forbidden fruit, Apple. Will everything stay sweet and peachy or will she leave everyone feeling a little rotten?

“Hi! I’m Apple,” The girl with the atrociously orange fake tan and long lashes said in her introduction video. “I’m a hairdresser so you know I’m great at scissoring.” “My type? I’ve always had a thing for tall girls with tattoos, so if you’ve got ink and a little bit of height, I'm sold. In other words, I want Cassie.” “I’m not here to make girl friends; I’m here to steal girlfriends.”

⋆˙⟡♡ The bombshell, Apple, invited Cassie on a date. As soon as Cassie left, the whole villa practically rushed to your side, offering reassurances, comforting you with words like, "Cassie would never go for someone else," and "She only has eyes for you."

Despite their well-meaning attempts, you couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that stirred in your stomach. You weren’t all in with Cassie yet but a part of you felt a bit upset by it. If Cassie ended up liking Apple, you’d end up out of a couple and that could mean being the first to go home.

"I'm fine, guys. Really. I just need some alone time to clear my head," you reassured them, before heading out to one of the more private day beds.

As soon as everyone was off your back, gathered in the kitchen to gossip about the new bombshell, Alexia followed you. You could see her make her way to you – dressed in a tiny bikini that showed off her muscles. She looked absolutely stunning but you were too distracted by the new bombshell dilemma to take it all in.

"Are you seriously worried?" Alexia asked, raising a doubtful eyebrow as she sat by the foot of your bed.

“A bit but I don’t know,” you sighed, fiddling with your water bottle. “I trust Cassie. And, well, if she likes this new bombshell, then at least it’s early days. But yeah… I do feel a bit off.”

Alexia tilted her head slightly, humming as she looked you over. She moved closer to you, sitting by your side now, her strong arm brushing against yours and the side of her leg knocking yours. Suddenly, your mind was divided between Cassie and Alexia whose proximity was making your cheeks flush.

“Cassie seems really... popular, huh? She's everyone’s type. Tall, pretty, good girl with that bad girl vibe.” Alexia said in an indecipherable neutral tone, breaking the silence. “Can't really blame Apple for making a move, right?"

You raised an eyebrow, keeping your tone steady. "Yeah, okay. You don’t have to rub it in." 

Alexia chuckled. “Sorry, just pointing it out.” She said before pausing, letting the awkward silence linger for a moment. “I just remembered that yesterday, you said you didn’t step forward for me because you didn’t like the idea of competition.”

You looked over at Alexia, unsure of her point. She turned towards you, locking eyes. Her hazel eyes looked warm, practically glowing under the light of the sun. You felt your heart thump faster at the intensity of her gaze.

“What’s your point?” You said under your breath.

Alexia averted her gaze. “My point is…” she paused. “How are you going to handle the competition when it comes to Cassie? Especially with Apple in the picture.”

You stayed silent, turning to remove your gaze from her. Alexia paused, sneaking a look at your expression, trying to read you. “And I’m sure she’s not the only girl in this villa interested in Cassie.” she added. “Just weird to me how you didn’t want competition when it came to me but you don’t seem that worried about Cassie.”

⋆˙⟡♡ You entered the confessional hut, ready to rant.

“God, I really wasn’t bothered that much by Apple since I know Cassie, and I know Cassie is not the type to be easily swayed.” You ran a hand through your hair. “But Alexia – GOD. She’s actually pissing me off. She’s always in our business and I never really knew before but now, I know.” You groaned. “She’s obviously into Cassie! That’s why she’s been trying to throw me off the whole time, staring at me without any care for who sees. She’s just trying to get into my head.”

⋆˙⟡♡ God, these clueless lesbians frustrate me. She wants YOU, girl! Get a hint!

⋆˙⟡♡ You were trying to cool off from your interaction with Alexia by joining Jade and April for some yoga when one of the other islanders Heather exclaimed loudly. “I got a text!”

Everyone rushed towards her, excited as to your first challenge.

"Islanders, it’s time for a game of ‘Who Did It?’ The rules are simple: We’ll read out some juicy confessions, and you have to guess which islander did it. When you think you know, kiss the person you think is guilty!" Everyone is buzzing with excitement. “Apple and Cassie are already waiting for you in the garden so hurry and get ready to smooch.”

⋆˙⟡♡ Once you were in the garden, you were grouped into two, partners split up into two separate groups with the bombshell Apple hosting and reading the confessions. Cassie gave you a smile and a wave from where her group was, not able to say anything more but you could tell she was pleased to see you. That seemed like a good sign that she was still in it with me.

But more than seeing Cassie again, you were actually more pleased that Cassie and Alexia were in the same group so they couldn’t kiss each other. With your suspicion about Alexia liking Cassie, the last thing you wanted was to see them kissing.

⋆˙⟡♡ The game began, and your team was up first as the guessers. Everyone seemed to play it safe, kissing their own partners instead of taking a real guess. You weren’t one to break the pattern, and honestly, you didn’t want to kiss anyone except Cassie.

“This islander has hooked up with a famous popstar,” Apple announced. The others gasped and murmured. You scanned the room, your gaze landing first on Cassie, who shot you a cheeky shrug and a playful grin. You were about to step toward her when your eyes met Alexia’s. Her expression was unreadable, like she was watching you closely. It felt like she was waiting for you to make your way to her.

You paused, shaking off the thought. Don’t even think about it; she’s just trying to get to you.

You walked up to Cassie, cupping her face before pressing a soft kiss on her lips. The group egged you on, urging for more, and Cassie pulled you into a deeper kiss, her arms wrapped around you. It felt nice, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of Alexia’s eyes on you the whole time.

"Well, that’s a winning kiss!" Apple grinned. "In more ways than one: Cassie’s clearly a great kisser, and Y/N got it right. It was Cassie!"

⋆˙⟡♡ Your group had just scored 2 points, and now it was the other team’s turn. Cassie was first up.

“This girl claims that one of her talents is an amazing porn voice.” Apple announced, fanning herself with the prompt cards as she made a shocked expression.

The room instantly erupted with knowing glances, and it was clear to everyone: it was Jade, the only voice actor in the villa. 

You shot Cassie a playful eye roll, half-smiling, then nodded subtly toward Jade. Go for it, you signaled her with your eyes. Without hesitation, Cassie leaned in, her lips finding Jade’s in a quick, soft peck. Jade turned to you, mouthing an apology, but you just laughed it off. You weren’t bothered by the harmless kiss; after all, it was barely more than a peck, and it was Jade.

Everyone settled down after a few teasing comments about your partner and your best friend kissing which you just rolled your eyes at. Once everyone was back to their spot, it was Alexia’s turn.

Suddenly, you could feel your body tense up for some reason. Apple cleared her throat, ready to read the next confession. “Awe, did this confession get lost? It’s so cute.” She teased, pouting. Just by her reaction, you knew it was yours. “Okay, so this islander got ghosted after her first attempt at sexting.”

Everyone cooed and chuckled, poking fun at the most innocent confession said so far. You felt your cheeks flush, unsure if it was because of the other Islanders’ reaction or Alexia’s unwavering gaze on you. You bit your lip, looking at your feet.

Alexia smirked as she walked towards you. You could feel your breath catch in your throat as she came closer. You looked up at her, meeting those intoxicating hazel eyes. You swear you stopped breathing for a moment. Alexia put a hand on your face, thumb grazing your cheekbone for a moment. It felt like forever – just you two standing closely as she cradled your face and she scanned your eyes.

Your feelings were starting to become confusing and your mind was filled with incoherent thoughts. You never fully considered ever being attracted to Alexia; you knew you found her attractive but maybe you suppressed it so much, trying not to overcomplicate your feelings. Maybe it seemed doable then but with her right in front of you, staring at you with those intense eyes and her hands on you so tenderly – it just felt like you were coming undone.

And before you could even fully process your thoughts, she was kissing you.

You couldn’t help but feel your eyes flutter shut as you melted into the warmth of her kiss, your hands holding on to her strong arms for balance as she held your waist with them, holding you flush against you. Alexia kissed you with the perfect balance of gentle intimacy and firm yearning. A satisfied sound escaped your lips as you felt her tongue enter your mouth, warm and firm but not imposing. It would be a lie to say that that was not one of the best kisses you ever had.

You didn’t even realize how long you had been kissing until you heard the group’s whistles and teasing shouts. Blinking your eyes open, you pulled back, your breath coming a little faster than usual. You looked away from Alexia, a bit embarrassed at your eager reciprocation of that kiss. You feel like you just got exposed.

The girls beside you jokingly elbowed you and teased you. Apple chuckled. “Not as innocent as we thought, huh?”

You avoided Alexia and Cassie’s gaze the entire game. 

⋆˙⟡♡ Yikes, did an Argentinian goat arrive in the villa? Cause things just got Messi.

⋆˙⟡♡ While everyone's all smiles after letting their lips loose during the challenge, there's one thing tighter than our Islanders’ bums: the tension between Cassie, Alexia, and Y/N.

⋆˙⟡♡ In the confession room:

You were slumped on your seat, hands dragging down your face as you groaned. “I’m literally an introvert thrown into the middle of a telenovela. This is like my worst nightmare,” you muttered, peeking between your fingers. “I hate drama. I avoid it like the plague. And somehow? I’m smack in the middle of it.”

⋆˙⟡♡ Look at the bright side, Y/N. You could write a song about this drama. Let's call it "Snogging Another Girl In Front of My Partner." Sounds like a banger to me!

You exhaled, eyes drifting toward the floor as you tried to piece it all together, eyes focused away from the camera. “I like Cassie. A lot. I mean, I picked her on day one, and I’ve intended to put all my eggs in her basket. I really thought we were just... solid. But then there’s Alexia. And at first, I thought she was just... I don’t know, staring because she fancied Cassie? Or maybe she was bitter that things didn’t click with Savannah and she was just salty watching Cassie and I actually get along.” You sighed another time. “But after that kiss…” you trailed off. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Cassie looked mildly bothered, arms crossed as she sat on the edge of her seat in the confession hut. “I mean, yeah. It bothered me,” she admitted, glancing away for a second. “We were doing so well. Like, I actually thought we were one of those couples that figured it out early. That we could just chill and ride it out to the end, win the whole thing.” She huffed out a sigh, then looked straight at the camera. “But seeing her kiss Alexia? I’m not stupid. There’s clearly something there, something to be worried about. I just don’t know how worried I should be cause it might just be a one-time thing like, it might just be a challenge kiss… or I might actually be losing my girl.”

The reel cut to you again. You looked genuinely conflicted, fidgeting with the string of your bikini bottom. “I really can’t figure out Alexia’s feelings too. She’s so confusing.”

Alexia looked effortlessly composed in her reel, reclined casually with one leg crossed.  “I like Y/N.” She said nonchalantly with a shrug and a calm expression, unbothered by the whole drama. “She’s with Cassie now but that doesn’t change things for me. It’s not really that complicated to me. I like her and that's really all that is to me."

⋆˙⟡♡ I’m not a geometrist but I know a love triangle when I see one. 

⋆˙⟡♡ “She’s obviously into you,” Jade said as you two waded in the pool while everyone was working out together “But like… you’re with Cassie.”

You groaned, dragging your fingers through the water. “I know. But I can’t help feeling… conflicted, I guess.”

Jade tilted her head, brows raised. “Babe, the fact that you're even doubting says a lot. Maybe you’re not as all-in with Cassie as you thought… and I saw the way you kissed. That just kinda sealed the deal in my head that you might really be into Alexia.” She held up her hands quickly. “And genuinely, no judgment from me. I’m just saying… maybe it’s time to widen your palette. Try the Spanish cuisine.”

You gave her a look as you splashed her with water for the innuendo. “Just this morning you were telling me Cassie and I were endgame. Now you’re basically shoving me into another girl’s arms.”

Jade laughed. “Well, that’s back when I thought you two were satisfied being the boring couple that wins it all in the end with minimal drama and conflict but now… now that there's a ridiculously hot Spanish football player eyeing you like she’s ready to devour you.” She shrugged. “So now, I say explore, live a little.”

You shook your head but considered her words for a moment. Jade could tell she was getting to you, shooting you a smile. “It’s Love Island, babe. Don’t force yourself to fall for the first girl you couple with.”

⋆˙⟡♡ After dinner, Cassie took your hand and pulled you aside, leading you away from the fire pit and into one of the quieter corners of the garden. Her grip was tight, her expression guarded, and you could already feel a knot forming in your stomach. You knew a difficult conversation was about to happen and you never liked having to deal with confrontation.

 “I just…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper as she rubbed her thumb over your knuckles. “I feel like we’ve been solid since day one. Like we actually found something real here.” She paused, swallowing hard. “And then now with Alexia…”

You paused, not saying anything, focusing your gaze on her thumb drawing patterns on your hands. Cassie let out a shaky sigh. “She’s not just anyone either. She’s this big-time athlete who everyone wants. I just feel threatened cause she’s like everything I’m not.”

You couldn’t help a quiet chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “Who everyone wants? You want her too?” you teased gently, wrapping an arm around her and idly playing with the hair on her nape.

Cassie let out a breathy laugh, but her eyes didn’t soften. “No, but seriously, babe.” She reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and looked at you intently. “Can you just… tell me the truth?”

A tension hung in the air as Cassie moved closer to you. “Right now, right here. Are you all in with me? Or are you just leading me on?” Cassie sighed. “Cause I don’t want to be blindsided in the next recoupling. I need to know what you feel now.”

You froze.

It wasn’t a hard question. Not really. But the answer stuck in your throat like a stone. You wanted to say yes, to promise her, to kiss her and make her feel safe. But you couldn’t force it. During the first few days, you felt bad leading Cassie on, making her think you were sure of her from the first coupling.

This finally felt like your chance to be honest. You bit your lip and tried to muster the strength to say something but you couldn’t even manage to keep eye contact, averting your gaze.

“Y/N?” Her voice cracked.

You looked up for half a second and she saw it in your face.

Cassie exhaled sharply. “Unbelievable.” She whispered before she shook her head. She dropped your hand like it disgusted her. She stood up and walked away, running off to the other girls to rant.

You didn’t follow her. It felt horrible to hurt her like that but you thought it was better than to keep leading her on.

⋆˙⟡♡ Alexia was sipping on martinis with the other girls when Cassie stormed into the dining area. “What got into your panties, rockstar?” She said teasingly.

Cassie was practically turning red, annoyed with the comment especially after everything that happened. “Fuck off, Alexia.”

What’s an all-girl season without a little catfight? Come on girls, claws out! It’s girl fight time.

“Oh, I got on her nerves.” Alexia whispered to Jade, nonchalantly sipping on her cocktail.

Or not… Alexia seems too unbothered to even engage Cassie in an argument.

Everyone rushed to Cassie, comforting her and asking her what happened. Alexia stayed put, eyes wandering towards the direction of where Cassie came from. She finished her drink and swiftly got up, heading to where you were.

⋆˙⟡♡ “Your puppy dog’s making a fuss over there,” Alexia said as she walked toward you, a slow, smug smile pulling at her lips. “Whimpering to everyone like she hurt her paw.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You shot back in a low tone, not really in the mood to joke around.

Alexia shrugged as she lowered herself onto the daybed by your feet, facing you, casually resting her hand on your calf, fingers brushing your skin with a sense of familiarity. “I don’t know… you tell me what that was about.” She raised an eyebrow, her tone playful but with an underlying seriousness. A moment of silence took over before she spoke up again. “So… I take it that chapter’s closed?”

You hesitated, not knowing if you were comfortable totally just ending your chapter with Cassie. While you couldn’t deny the chemistry you had with Alexia, you also weren’t so keen on the kind of drama you’d have to deal with if you chose to be with Alexia instead. 

Alexia’s fingers lingered on your calf, looking at you intensely with her hazel eyes. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” She asked in a low and serious tone. “Looks like you’re still deciding whether you want to keep pretending.”

You snapped, finally meeting Alexia’s gaze. “Pretending?” You half-laughed, trying to act casual. “What’s there to pretend?”

The Catalan just shrugged back at you and raised her eyebrows. You groaned at her expression, feeling like Alexia was just playing a game to confuse you or drive you insane. “I’m not in the mood to play this game right now. I'm serious."

Alexia didn’t respond right away. Instead, her eyes locked onto yours, and the playful edge in her expression disappeared. She bit her lip and leaned in slightly, pausing for a moment. “Alright, if you want serious, I’ll be serious,” she said, her voice now low and steady. 

You met her gaze, your breath hitching at the sudden intensity. “I’m serious about you,” she continued, words hitting harder than you expected. Suddenly, your heart was racing in your chest.

Her eyes never wavered, never leaving yours. “That kiss wasn’t just a game. You felt it too.” she said in a deliberate tone. “I know you enjoyed my kiss more than hers.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “You’re so full of yourself.”

“Maybe,” she said with a small shrug and a smirk playing on her lips. “Or maybe I just know how to read you.”

She leaned in, slowly closing the distance. Her hand lifted, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Her touch stayed, fingers brushing the side of your neck. Her palm was warm against your skin.

“I know you’re trying to be angry,” she said quietly. “Trying to act like that kiss and this… feeling you have for me doesn’t mean anything. But underneath all that… I know you want to kiss me again.”

Your lips parted, ready to fire back, to call her arrogant, to drive her away. But before you could speak, her lips were on yours.

All the tension, the frustration, everything… just gone in an instant. Whatever bit of confusion and apprehension you had in your body melted away as you wrapped your arms around Alexia, deepening the kiss. You knew how this show went; there was going to be tons of drama making your way. But right now, none of that mattered.

All you could focus on was her lips on yours.

⋆˙⟡♡ While I’m definitely cheering for Alexia and Y/N, the other islanders look ready to flash them a red card. 

One of the islanders, River, shook her head and rolled her eyes after Cassie recounted your conversation.  “You know what, you dodged a bullet, Cass.” She said as she put a hand on Cassie’s shoulder. “Like, obviously Alexia’s been into her from the start but Y/N is shady. I bet she’s just putting on this whole innocent girl act.” Apple nodded. “She’s definitely sneaky. I wouldn’t trust her.”

⋆˙⟡♡ In the confessionals:

“I definitely had my eyes on Y/N when I first entered because she just seemed so different and meek but I’m seeing that maybe that’s just a facade.” River told the camera, shaking her head as she played with her rings. “I don’t know. I don’t trust her.”

Apple flipped a lock of hair from her shoulder to her back and rolled her eyes. “I don’t care about her. I just know I want Cassie and she just handed me Cassie on a silver platter.” A playful smirk grew on her face. “So, maybe I should thank her.”

Your best friend Jade sighed, crossing her arms. “I think everyone is going to regret acting like this because this is fucking Love Island.” She said, looking exasperated. “It’s not Friend Island or Commit-with-your-first-couple Island. That’s just not the game!”

⋆˙⟡♡ Your magical moment with Alexia was short-lived because you were still coupled up with Cassie, which meant you still had to sleep in bed together. You were initially worried but realized that this meant Cassie was going to let you breathe tonight and not suffocate you with her cuddles. So, even if that meant it was awkward as fuck sharing a bed with her, it was still a win for you.

⋆˙⟡♡ Despite having the best sleep in the villa you’ve had so far, you still woke up earlier than everyone else. You looked over to Alexia and Savannah’s bed which only had Savannah now sprawled on the bed. A blush crept across your face at the thought of having a moment alone with Alexia while everyone else was asleep. 

This time, you decided to put on a bit more makeup and wear a cuter bikini before heading out to the pool area. As soon as you walked out to the open area, you heard a low wolf whistle. “Oh guapa.” You looked over to Alexia who was in the middle of a mat workout. 

You walked over to Alexia who had now stood up and was quick to wrap her arms around you, pulling you in closer, putting a kiss on your cheek. “Good morning,” she cooed. “You slept well?”

“Mmhhmm,” you said as you enjoyed the sensation of Alexia peppering kisses on your jaw and neck. You giggled and pushed her a bit away, feeling incredibly flustered by the feeling of her lips. “Well, someone’s in the mood.”

She smirked, a hand still wrapped around your waist. "Yeah, I've been wanting to do that ever since I saw you but Miss Emo Popstar was always in the way."

You chuckled but rolled your eyes. "You're actually so mean."

She chuckled. "Hmmm, but you still have got a crush on me," she teased, leaning in to plant another kiss on your cheek. “So, are you going for a morning swim? Or do you want to have a little talk first?”

“Hmm, a talk sounds great.”

⋆˙⟡♡ Alexia and you sat in one of the morning day beds, a cautious distance between the two of you. While the conversation started off a bit awkward and stiff, it eventually flowed naturally and after a while, you two were laughing and relating pretty well with each other.

Alexia talked about her career, her ACL injury, her doubts after her injury. Her eyes sparkled whenever she talked about football; it was obvious that she was passionate which drew you in even more since you felt the same way about music. You told Alexia about how you got into songwriting, being an introvert who had massive stage fright, but how you were trying to come out of your shell now as a singer, forced to be in the public eye.

“So, Love Island must be you stepping out of your comfort zone,” Alexia said, hazel eyes scanning yours.

You nodded. “Yeah, it’s a huge pressure for someone who never really liked having attention on them but also… cause I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before.”

Alexia’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

You nodded. “Is that like a red flag or something?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “I think that’s cute actually.” She said, smiling. “How old are you again?”

“23,” you said, ready to get defensive. “And I know I’m younger but I swear, I can be mature.”

Alexia laughed. “Don’t worry. I can tell.”

You bit your lip and nodded nervously. “Does my age bother you?”

She shook her head. “Does my age bother you?”

“Not at all,” you responded.

“Good,” she hummed. She put a hand on your thigh, which sent electricity through your body. It felt like all doubts and apprehension you had about Alexia just fizzled away.

Everything felt just right.

⋆˙⟡♡ It had been just under a week, but the Love Island setup made it feel like time moved in slow motion. With no phones, no books, no music, not even a deck of cards, your entire world had shrunk to this villa and the people inside it. You spent nearly every hour of the day talking to Alexia, Jade, and the other Islanders, caught in this strange bubble where real life felt far away.

And while it was kind of nice to feel disconnected from everything else, it also gave you way too much time to think. Especially about Alexia.

You’d had crushes before, sure. Situationships. Passing things. But this? This felt different. With Alexia, it was like something had clicked and short-circuited at the same time. She made you feel something new and intense, something you didn’t have a name for yet. 

And the worst part was you couldn’t escape it. You lived in the same space, shared the same room, breathed the same air. There was no time apart. At least not completely.

But it wasn’t just the feelings that were getting to you. It was everything else too. The way half the villa looked at you like you were a villain for how things ended with Casey. Like you’d personally gone out of your way to break her heart on live TV, as if it was just out of spite. Never mind the fact that this was literally the point of the show. That you were all here to explore connections. Some people had already made up their minds about you being the villain, and it stung more than you’d like to admit.

It was all getting to you. You thought you mentally prepared yourself for the drama but maybe you lacked in preparing to actually have to deal with all these intense emotions paired with having to fight against losing your mind over other people’s perception. It was too much. 

So, the next day, you decided a little space was what you needed to clear your head.

⋆˙⟡♡ “I GOT A TEXT!”

Jade’s voice cut through the chatter, echoing through the villa.

You pulled yourself off the flamingo floatie, dripping as you stepped out of the pool, and made your way to the kitchen. Everyone started to gather around. You could feel Alexia watching you, but you didn’t look at her. You couldn’t. Not right now.

Jade held up her phone, grinning. “The public has voted for the Islander who needs a spa day,” she read dramatically. “And the Islander who got the most votes is… Y/N.”

You blinked. For a second, you weren’t sure if you’d heard right. Then everyone turned to look at you. You smiled genuinely, unable to hide your excitement despite the annoyed look from Casey. 

“That was exactly what I needed,” you said, voice quieter, more vulnerable than usual. “Everything’s just been so overwhelming lately. I think I forgot how intense this would actually be. I know not everyone’s happy I got it. I’m sure Casey and Savannah have something to say. But honestly? I don’t care. I think the public saw how rough it’s been for me, and I’m really grateful for that.”

Jade paused, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. “And she gets to take any islander out with her on her spa date.”

A few people oohed under their breath. All eyes flicked toward Alexia.

You met her gaze for just a second. She wasn’t smiling. She didn’t look surprised. Her expression was calm, maybe even unreadable. But that only made your heart beat faster.

You hesitated. You wanted to choose her. You really did. But the truth was, she was part of the reason you needed this break in the first place. Your feelings for her were getting too loud, too heavy, and you needed to breathe before they swallowed you whole.

You looked away. “I pick Jade,” you said.

⋆˙⟡♡ In the confessionals:

“I like Alexia. I seriously do,” you said, pouring your heart out to the camera. Without the privilege of a therapist, you were starting to treat the camera like one. “But that’s exactly why I need space from her. Like it’s not even her fault; I just… can’t deal with these feelings right now. It’s too much.”

Casey sat cross-legged, arms draped over her knees, clearly trying to play it cool. “She left me for Alexia, which whatever, that’s the game. But then doesn’t even take her on the date? It just makes it feel like she doesn’t really know what she wants.”

Jade grinned at the camera, bun wobbling on top of her head. “I’m not surprised, to be honest. She’s like my best mate here so I think I know her best and I can just tell that with everything going on, it makes sense she’d want a break from everyone.” She smiled. "Well, everyone except her bestie, of course."

Alexia had her arms crossed but she had a serious expression. “It would be a lie if I said I didn’t want her to pick me,” she said simply with a shrug. “Of course I did. But I get it. We’re all going through a lot. I’m not worried though. This won’t be the only chance we get for a date. I’ll have my moment with her. I know I will."

⋆˙⟡♡ Looks like the Spanish captain is playing the long game. And even if she didn’t get the date, she has something else that’s rarer in this villa… emotional maturity.

And speaking of a lack of emotional maturity.

⋆˙⟡♡ Apple sat cross-legged on the sunbed right beside Casey, sunglasses perched on her head as she glanced toward the villa. “I genuinely can’t tell what game she’s playing,” she muttered to Casey. “She’s either faking the whole sensitive act or she’s just really bad at being honest. Either way, it’s getting old.”

Casey scoffed, shaking her head before taking a sip from her water bottle. “She left our couple, didn’t even look back, and now wants space from Alexia too?” She rolled her eyes. “It’s like she gets off on confusing people.”

Apple leaned back, lips curling into a smirk. “She doesn’t seem genuine at all. And honestly?” She tilted her head. “She's just a dramatic mess. It’s good you got out of that couple sooner than later."

Unbeknownst to them, Alexia had walked out from the kitchen and paused just behind the sun beds. She couldn’t control herself after overhearing the conversation.

“Yeah, good for all of us,” she commented cheekily as she walked into their line of sight. “Could tell she never really was in it with you.”

Casey furrowed her eyebrows. “Seriously, why are you even in this conversation?”

Alexia raised her brows, unbothered. “Maybe because you’re talking loud enough for the entire villa to hear. If you want privacy, try whispering.”

Casey stood up, pushing her sunglasses onto her head. “Alexia, can you just learn how to back off for once?”

Alexia let out a low, dry laugh. “When have I ever crossed your boundaries? Because from where I’m standing, it’s you and your little group that can’t stop running your mouths about Y/N.”

Casey’s jaw tightened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She retorted, trying to hurt Alexia’s feelings. “I’ve got a solid group of friends here and it’s not my fault they stick by me.”

Alexia shrugged. “Maybe instead of turning bitter and questioning her character, you should be asking each other why she didn’t want to stay with you.” A playful smile grew on her face.

Casey straightened up her posture, eyes dark. “You better watch yourself.” She said as she stepped closer to Alexia, looking her in the eyes as if she was in a stare down before a boxing match.

Alexia didn’t move. She just put her hands up, slow and mocking, with a teasing smile on her face. “Yeah, sure.” She chuckled. To further annoy Casey, she gave her a cheeky wink before walking away. "Don't hurt yourself, Casey."

⋆˙⟡♡ In the confessional: 

Alexia chuckled. “Casey wants to act tough and all,” she said, an amused lilt to her voice. “Someone needs to remind her that she’s a skinny musician and I’m an athlete. I won’t fight her because I’ve got integrity and because I don’t think that would be fair for her.”

⋆˙⟡♡ You just returned from your spa day with Jade which helped you get the necessary time away from the drama in the villa. But you didn’t expect to return to the villa with the tension even higher than ever.

Alexia was quick to greet you and pull you aside for a talk which, while daunting, meant being away from the other group's tension.

⋆˙⟡♡ “I know why you’ve been distant and avoiding me,” she said once you were both seated, her voice quiet and thoughtful. Her finger idly traced along her bottom lip as she looked at you, waiting.

You glanced down at your hands, fiddling with your thumbs. “Hmm?”

Your voice came out smaller than you meant it to, and of course, the flutters in your chest were back. They always showed up when she was near.

Alexia reached out and gently took your hands in hers, stopping your nervous habit. The touch was light, but the way she looked at you made your stomach twist in the best way. Her eyes met yours, steady and soft, and for a second you forgot how to breathe properly. Something about those hazel eyes.

Alexia didn’t continue her statement but you knew what she meant instantly. She took her hand in yours, thumb rubbing against your hands. A silence took over between the two of you. It was that kind of loaded silence that just made your heart beat faster.

Alexia broke the loaded silence. “So, if there was a recoupling tonight, can I trust you?”

Even after avoiding her and struggling with your feelings, you didn’t hesitate to nod. “Yeah, of course.”

“Yeah?” Alexia’s eyes practically lit up. 

You locked eyes with the Catalan. You suddenly felt unfair with her, being so avoidant the whole day without having a chat to explain to her what was going on… but here she was, being understanding and patient. 

Maybe it was her age but she was clearly more emotionally mature than anyone else in the villa, including you. It just felt like it was time for you to learn from her.

Instead of answering her, you delicately put a hand on her cheek, thumb touching her cheek as you leaned into her. You paused, taking one last moment to gaze into her eyes, before making the first move and capturing your lips with hers. The kiss was gentle and soft at first until Alexia put a hand behind your neck, deepening the kiss. It was the kind of kiss that made you feel weak in the knees and light-headed.

Suddenly, everything just felt right.

⋆˙⟡♡ And as expected, the recoupling happened that night. Since it was the first sapphic version of the show, it was being done differently. Instead of girls picking guys or guys picking girls, it was now all left to the public as to how everyone would couple up. For this particular recoupling, they voted on which islanders get to go first. They’d seen your drama with Alexia and Casey. They saw the other islanders’ drama. It seemed like they knew best what line up to follow.

Luckily, you went first and there was no doubt in your mind. You stood in front of everyone but your eyes were fixed only on Alexia. 

“While things have been difficult the past week and I’ve tried to keep my distance because of my avoidant habits,” you started, your voice a little shaky, but warm, “the islander I’m choosing has always been patient with me. She’s shown me how serious she is with me, even when I’ve made it hard.”

You glanced down, biting your lip for a second before looking back at her.

“And I’m finally ready to show her I feel the same, and that I’m ready to go all in.”

You took a breath. “The islander I’m choosing is… Alexia.”

Alexia immediately walked towards where you were standing and she didn’t hesitate. Her hands cupped your face as she kissed you deeply. The islanders erupted into cheers. Well, most of them. Casey and Savannah barely clapped.

But that didn’t matter. For the first time, it felt like the pairing was right. Like you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

⋆˙⟡♡ The next days (and episodes) really went by smoothly for the two of you. The drama between you and the other islanders was soon forgotten as new drama emerged. Now, you and Alexia were getting along well with your bond growing stronger each day. At times, it felt like you two were just on vacation, relaxing, without a care in the world. Things were going well, and for once, you let yourself believe that everything was falling into place.

⋆˙⟡♡ But as always, Love Island is never about smooth sailing. As things were finally settling into a comfortable rhythm between you and Alexia, the producers had to rock the boat.

⋆˙⟡♡ “I got a text!” You exclaimed from the kitchen where you were making a coffee, your voice cutting throughout the villa. 

Everyone approached you, murmurs swirling around, excitement hanging in the air. No one had entered the villa in a while, so they were eager for any sort of news about a potential bombshell.

You opened the message aloud, and as soon as the words left your mouth, the room fell into stunned silence. “I don’t wanna step on anyone’s boots, but Y/N, you definitely caught my eye. I hope you don’t mind me stealing you away. Get ready for our date in 10 minutes. #GoalGetter #NoSuchThingAsTeammates.”

The reaction was immediate. Shouts, gasps, and excited chatter filled the space. It was clear that the mystery person was likely another footballer… and judging by the wording of the message, she was probably someone Alexia knew well. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on Alexia. Though she seemed unbothered, you could see a furrow in her brow, her mind obviously working overtime behind those steady eyes. She wasn’t too worried yet… but she could feel that things were about to shift in the villa.

Before you could say anything else about the date, you were quickly whisked away by the other girls, all chattering excitedly as they helped you get ready.

⋆˙⟡♡ You nervously fidgeted with the hem of your skirt as you walked to the designated date place which was a nice Spanish restaurant. You bit your lip, not knowing who to expect.

As you walked towards the restaurant, a tanned girl with dark brown hair stood with a smile on her face. She was effortlessly dressed in a cream linen top and shorts; it was a casual look but it looked so effortlessly charming on her. She greeted you by reaching out to place her hand gently on your arm as she gave you a kiss on the cheek. “Hey, you look amazing.”

A blush crept on your cheek, feeling intimidated by the girl. “Thank you,” you responded. “You look stunning too.”

You two sat in front of each other as a waitress swiftly came to drop off a couple of drinks. “I’m Patri, by the way.” She said as she extended her hand to shake yours. “I’m so glad you decided to join me.”

Patri and you had the typical exchange of niceties and question-and-answers. You were trying to carefully skirt around her text message, unsure if it was an appropriate time to ask her about it. But without prompting, she brought it up. “Since you didn’t ask...” she chuckled. “I’m teammates with Alexia. We both play for the same club and for Spain.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I got that from the text. I was just kinda scared to bring it up.”

She smiled. “Scared? Why?”

You shrugged. “Well… I thought that if I knew for sure it would seem like a bigger betrayal for me to be on a date with her friend.”

Patri laughed, shaking her head. “Ouch… betrayal is one way to put it.” She said, raising her eyebrows before taking a sip of her red cocktail. She paused. “But really… the way I see it is, this is Love Island and I’d be doing her… and well, you and me… a disservice if I didn’t choose you out of courtesy.”

“Cause even if you and Alexia got together first, I don’t really want that to stop me from getting to know you.” She locked eyes with you, brown eyes full of sincerity. “You were truly the only girl who caught my eye in that villa.”

The intensity of Patri’s gaze caused a blush to tint your cheeks pink. You bit your lip as you subconsciously tucked a hair behind your ear, diverting your gaze to the table. “Why even me? I’m genuinely so boring,” you responded, reverting to your self-deprecating ways as you grew conscious.

Patri chuckled. “Well, I think you’re obviously gorgeous, like, completely my type. And, you seem kind and genuine…” she paused, “And well, it would be wrong of me not to mention that I already was a fan of your music before I even knew you were in Love Island.” 

Your eyes widened. “No way!”

“Yes, your latest single’s actually in our locker room playlist; I’m shocked that Alexia never recognized your name from our shared playlist…” 

You smiled at Patri as she continued to hype your music up, clearly a fan. It was cute and charming seeing her a bit fangirl-y over you. Something about being with her just felt… different from being with Alexia.

God, I’m in trouble.

⋆˙⟡♡ Patri was nothing like Alexia. 

While Alexia was more reserved and intense, Patri was extroverted and playful, making you laugh a lot and joking around. Patri was also touchy in a different way. Her touches were lighter, more subtle like brushing against your hand when she passed you something or feeding you a chip. It was playful and lighthearted. You couldn’t help but feel at ease with her.

She made you feel completely different than Alexia did. 

With Alexia, there was always an undercurrent of intensity, a sense that things were never quite simple, that every moment between you was heavy with meaning. But with Patri, it felt different. There was an ease, a simplicity that made you forget the complexities of everything around you. She made you feel like you didn’t have to think too much, that maybe you could just be.

The date went by so easily, once the initial nerves had settled. You had a drink, then another. The alcohol helped loosen you up, but it was more than that. It was Patri’s presence and her effortless charm that made everything feel like it was falling into place. You laughed more than you had in days. It felt like you were both just going along with the moment, no expectations, no overthinking.

Before you knew it, you were kissing her.

You didn’t even know how it happened at first. You figured it might have just happened after she joked about how good of a kisser she is but there was no way of knowing for sure. It just happened without a second thought, without the usual self-consciousness you usually felt on a first date. There was no thinking or analyzing the consequences; it was just you two having a good time.

Patri held your cheek as she deepened the kiss, locking lips before slipping her tongue into your mouth once you parted it. You hummed in satisfaction as you locked lips. Once she pulled away, you could feel your eyes flutter.

She giggled. “So, was that good?”

“That was…” You bit your lip, feeling giddy for a moment before suddenly remembering that you had Alexia nervously waiting for you in the villa. You cleared your throat, trying to shake off the giddiness that had taken over you just moments before.

Patri chuckled. “Well… too bad it’s time to go back to the villa,” she said. “I’d love to kiss you more.”

You smiled, trying to revert back to your more easy-going self early on the date but now all you could think about was how to deal with Alexia.

⋆˙⟡♡ When you returned to the villa, you could just feel the energy shift. Even if you and Patri had a good foot of space between the two of you, your chemistry together was just palpable. The cameras zoomed in on Alexia who might initially seem calm to any onlooker but the cameras did a good job of capturing her slightly clenching her jaw and raising her eyebrows. She wasn’t exactly pleased to see that it was indeed her teammate and good friend who got in between the two of you.

⋆˙⟡♡ Is it just me or does Alexia look like she had just been benched? Not too happy about Patri scoring this time!

⋆˙⟡♡ Later that afternoon, Patri pulled Alexia aside to have a chat in the quiet corner of the villa. Without looking too much into it, you’d think nothing was off or wrong with the teammates but a closer look would tell that there was obviously some tension.

After the two caught up with each other on what was going on outside the villa, Alexia cleared her throat. “Uh so… out of all the girls, huh?” She said with a half-laugh, intending it to sound casual but the edge was obvious in her tone.

Patri chuckled, seemingly unfazed but there was a fleeting hesitation before she responded. “I’m sorry, Ale. I genuinely didn’t want any drama between us…” she said with a calm voice. “But I’m here for love too and I’d be lying if I chose anyone else to go on a date with. I have to put myself first.”

Alexia nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. She didn’t say anything immediately, and for a moment, it felt like she was weighing her response, carefully measuring each word. She met Patri’s gaze, her face unreadable.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Alexia said finally, though her voice was quieter than usual. “I get it. You didn’t choose her to start drama or hurt me; I know you and you aren’t that kind of person.”

Alexia paused. “But even if you didn’t mean to, you have to know that that offended me. It did hurt.”

Patri opened her mouth to say something, but Alexia raised a hand, cutting her off. “It’s fine. I’ll get over it. I always do; it's the captain's duty to be the bigger person, right?”

For a long moment, neither of them spoke, and the silence seemed to stretch, heavier than before. Patri looked at the distance, not wanting to look at Alexia due to intimidation. She sighed. “Let’s just play it out,” she said, still averting Alexia’s gaze. “Just like a friendlies match.”

Alexia chuckled and rolled her eyes.

⋆˙⟡♡ Is it just me or is Alexia’s demeanor nothing but friendly?

If I were Patri, I’d go running the opposite direction. RUN FOR SAFETY, PATRI! 

⋆˙⟡♡ Confessional:

Patri sighed and shrugged. “I know Ale’s probably pissed, but what can I do? I chose the person I was most attracted to,” she explained with animated hand gestures. “If her girl wasn’t interested at me, I’d stand down and back off… but she seemed interested. I can’t just cower away just because of my respect for Alexia.”

In contrast, Alexia was more reserved, arms crossed.  “I signed up for this, so I should’ve known something like this would happen,” she shook her head. “Doesn’t mean it’s easy. But that’s what I get for playing the game.” “I just feel like my trust is getting tested,” she looked at the camera now, eyes serious. “My trust in both Y/N and Patri.”

⋆˙⟡♡ Later, in bed with Alexia, you could easily tell that something has shifted between you. It was just how silent Alexia was and how her gaze seemed harder, more guarded in a sense. You sighed, feeling a wave of regret. 

“Alexia,” you whispered, trying to meet her eyes in the dim light. 

She hummed, locking eyes with you. “Hmm?” There was no softness or warmth in her voice or her gaze; she seemed so distant even if she was just right in front of you, cuddled up under the same duvet.

“Are you mad?” You asked, swallowing hard before biting your lip as you slowly moved closer to her, gently holding on to her arm for some physical contact. Your touch was almost tentative. 

The entire day, you didn’t really get to have a proper conversation. When you tried to talk to her about it, she brushed you off with a casual wave of her hand and a half-hearted, “It’s fine. It’s all good.” But you knew better. You could see it in her eyes. She was obviously bothered.

This was nothing like what had happened with Cassie. With Cassie, there had never really been a real connection or spark so it felt easier to consider being with Alexia while still being paired up with Cassie. Now, you were with Alexia and the bond… is just different. There’s an undeniable chemistry and spark between the two of you but the pull you felt toward Patri was also undeniable. 

With Cassie and Alexia, there was really no competition; Alexia was the clear winner even when you hadn’t known it yet. But with Alexia and Patri… it was just different. 

“Should I be mad?” Alexia asked after the long pause between you two. Since you didn’t get a chance to talk about what happened during your date, you never really got to tell Alexia that you kissed Patri but of course, being Love Island, the news got around fast and reached her instantly.

You sighed. “Maybe,” you responded, being vague about it. You paused, trying to move closer to Alexia, perhaps seeking some sort of comfort that all was fine even if you had slipped up but the Catalan offered nothing of the sort, remaining still and unmoving. 

Alexia sighed. “I just wanna know if you’re in it with me.” She said with a steady but low tone. “Obviously, I still like you and I am getting feelings for you but if you don’t feel that anymore—”

“I still feel that way,” you interrupted. “I still like you.”

She hummed in response. “And Patri?”

You hesitated, trying to piece together a proper response but nothing seemed like it would sound right. “I think I like her too.” You responded, being honest. “I can’t lie to you. I think while most my eggs are in your basket right now, I don’t want to not consider Patri and just close the door on that possible connection.”

Alexia nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “No, I get it. I can’t expect you to be just tied to me. It’s early days and it’s Love Island after all,” she responded, trying to sound mature.

You nodded thankfully, thinking it was all settled but when you leaned in for a kiss, Alexia stayed unmoving, not meeting you halfway or leaning in. You paused and just bid her good night before turning around, facing the opposite direction.

⋆˙⟡♡ The next morning, you woke up with a sense of guilt already settling into your chest. You thought maybe, just maybe, preparing breakfast would be a way to make things right with Alexia. The idea of quietly fixing things before the day began felt like a small gesture, something simple you could do to start mending the distance between you. But when you opened your eyes, she was already gone.

You looked around the dim room to see that most of the other islanders were still fast asleep in their beds, tangled in their sheets with their partner. The only other bed that was empty was Patri’s. You sighed, pulling the covers off of you to get up, deciding that a morning swim could help you clear your head.

Once you headed outside, you immediately noticed Alexia and Patri working out together, chuckling as if nothing was wrong between the two of them. You hummed, thinking that maybe the drama could be quashed by today and that there would be no issue with you considering Patri as an option while still partnered up with Alexia.

“Good morning, guapa!” Your typical morning greeting sounded different coming out of Patri’s mouth. You smiled at the two footballers, waving at them before heading over to the workout station, trying to act like you didn’t have a million questions running through your head.

Alexia seemed warmer and less tense. She gave you a familiar comforting smile and something about it just put you at ease. It felt like her way of comforting you that everything was okay. You responded with a weak smile back. 

“Morning,” you greeted her. “You got out of bed early?”

Alexia shrugged casually. “Had to get a workout in,” she explained. “You upset I left the bed without saying good morning?”

Patri chuckled softly at the question. You just gave the Catalan captain a small, tight smile and an eyebrow raise. Alexia tilted her head slightly and hummed at the response. “I’ll make it up to you then,” she said with a playful lilt to her voice  before walking over to you.

Before you could even react, Alexia was right in front of you. Her hand snaked around your waist, pulling you close as she captured your lips with hers, kissing you deeply and passionately. Your eyes widened at the sudden display of affection. It was obviously her trying to stake her claim right in front of Patri.

 Okay, so she’s still bothered, you thought to yourself.

Patri let out a dry laugh, also taken aback by the sudden blatant display of possessiveness but she didn’t say anything. After Alexia pulled away, you bit your lip and felt your cheeks flush from embarrassment.

“Uh… I’ll go make coffee now.” You said, turning at your heel to walk away from the scene quickly.

⋆˙⟡♡ “She did what?!” Jade exclaimed as you recounted to her what happened that morning. Her eyes widened and she looked incredibly scandalized. “Damn, Alexia really must be jealous of her to be doing all that in front of Patri. It’s like those Alpha Wolves or whatever when they implant on their mate or something.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Jade’s weird reference. “I mean, it was hot but also, I just felt kinda bad for Patri.” You said. “She seemed a bit offended by it even if she hadn’t said anything.”

Jade looked at you quizzically, raising an eyebrow. “Why would you feel bad? Are you trying to tell me that you actually are considering Patri?” She asked. “Just yesterday you said that even if the date with Patri was fun, you think you were sticking with Alexia.”

You groaned, sinking into the lounge chair. “I know… but I just can’t ignore the spark I felt for Patri too. I have to consider it too cause there is something there.”

Jade let out a sigh, leaning back as she crossed her arms. “Can’t believe I’m best friends with the messiest girl in the villa,” she joked but there was a subtle tone of concern in her voice. "I'm not looking forward to reading what people online have to say about you, love."

You playfully pushed her shoulder. “Jadeeee, just help me.” You groaned. “I’m so lost right now."

“Girl, what do you want me to do? I can’t choose for you.” Your friend exclaimed, shaking her head dramatically. “I’m just saying you gotta choose quick cause I just can sense that someone is going home soon. And it could be you or one of them if you don’t choose ASAP.”

You sighed. You knew Jade was right. With Patri’s entrance, someone was bound to leave the villa soon and that decision might be left to you if the cards weren’t in your favor.

⋆˙⟡♡ Later that day, Patri pulled you aside to talk, her voice calm, but you could sense the seriousness in the tone. “I know you’re still figuring things out,” she said, leading you to the daybeds.  “But I just really want to have a chat to see where your head’s at.”

You nodded, sitting down beside her on the daybed, leaving a decent amount of space between the two of you. Patri sighed. “So, I know that you really are emotionally invested with Alexia already but… I want to know if your door is still open for me, like, do I still have a chance to get to know you and to be considered by you?”

You hesitated, taking a beat to think. Before you could respond, Patri spoke up again. “Hey, I know we kissed andhit it off already the other day but if you’ve made up your mind and you really want to stick with Alexia, I won’t be mad,” she reached out to take your hand into hers, causing you to meet her gaze. “I’d actually prefer if you let me down now than later.”

A part of you just wanted to take the easy route, tell her that you were definitely going to stick with Alexia and that you’d appreciate being her friend. It felt like saying anything else other than that would paint you in a negative light, probably counterintuitive to the intention of your publicists to get you good press. 

But part of you just felt like taking the easy route was such a dishonest way to go. Even if PR was a main reason as to why you entered Love Island, finding love was also a big reason you agreed to it. You wanted to experience all the aspects of love and relationships, and doubt was one of them. It felt like doing yourself a disservice to just do an easy cop out.

“I haven’t…” you paused to look into Patri’s eyes. “I haven’t completely counted you out.”

A smile grew on her face. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “I mean, I’m not saying for certain that if there was a recoupling, I would choose you. I still have feelings for Alexia.” you paused. “But, I won’t not consider you. I’m still open to getting to know you.”

Patri nodded. “That’s enough for me.” 

You smiled back at the Spaniard. She reached over to you, tucking a loose strand behind your ear. “So, if you wanna test out the waters between us…” she looked into your eyes. “Can I test it out with another kiss?”

You paused, looking around to see if there were other islanders nearby but with the coast clear, you meekly nodded. It felt wrong to be cozying up to Patri like this and letting her kiss you even if it had just been a couple days since you met her when with Alexia, it felt like there was more hesitation with you at the start of your relationship. But if you wanted to fully consider both options, you had to do something to test it out. 

Patri’s hand moved to your neck, cupping it gently before pulling you in closer to her. She captured your lips with hers, slowly moving against yours. It started off gentle before it grew more passionate, more insistent. Unlike your first few kisses with Alexia, Patri’s kisses didn’t feel like butterflies or fireworks. It felt more like a warmth forming in your stomach. It was intense in a different way.

Once you pulled away from the kiss, you sighed deeply, biting your lip.

I’m in big trouble.

⋆˙⟡♡ You planned to have a sit-down dinner with Alexia later that night. Just the two of you, with no other islander around, no distractions or interruptions. You two skirted around the discussion long enough and you needed to completely clear the air with her, be honest and let all your feelings out. With the recoupling looming, it was pertinent that you discuss your own confusion and struggle but also to comfort her that even with Patri’s arrival, she was still the first person in your heart at that moment.

It was a good plan, something that could have helped you two a lot. But that plan? Officially out the window.

Just as you were preparing to pull Alexia aside for it, Jade got a text. As soon as you heard the notification sound, you knew it was too late. It was recoupling time, and you had to make up your mind quick.

⋆˙⟡♡ The group gathered by the fireplace, the flames crackling in the background as everyone stood in a loose circle, eyes darting nervously around the room. Sophie, the host, arrived with that look on her face. Before she could even say anything, you knew someone was going home.

Your stomach churned and you absentmindedly shifted from foot to foot, anxiety taking over you. Even as Sophie spoke, all of it turned into garbled nonsense in your ear; you were too caught up in your own thoughts to process it. Suddenly, Sophie was calling your name.

“Seems like Y/N’s in a daze,” You blinked, snapped out of your thoughts, and immediately felt a flush of embarrassment. You hadn’t even realized how much you’d zoned out. When you met Sophie’s eyes again, she was smiling, waiting for you to speak. “Y/N, it’s your turn to choose.”

You gulped, stepping forward, settling beside Sophie and looking back at the group. 

Immediately, you locked eyes with Alexia who gave you a weak smile. Your connection with her was undeniable; it felt solid. Even when she first walked in the villa when you were coupled with Cassie, something about her drew you in instantly. It felt like there had always been an invisible thread pulling you toward her. And the things she made you feel — butterflies, fireworks, the dizzy ecstasy you felt with her — was something you have never felt before. Her kisses felt like revelations and her touch always felt intimate, filled with a warmth and intensity that seemingly no one could ever replicate. 

Having known Alexia longer, you’ve also gotten to know her pretty well. You knew her quirks, her habits, her nuances; you’ve accepted most parts of her already. Maybe it would have been an easy choice to choose her again.

But then, your gaze shifted to Patri, standing at the other side of the group. She gave you a wider smile, visually less tense than Alexia. While you only knew Patri for a few days, there was also a spark between the two of you. While it wasn’t as intense as your initial connection with Alexia, there was something about her that made you feel at ease; it felt easier to be open to Patri, less intimidating. There was no tension with Patri. It all felt like calm waters with her.

So, maybe you were wrong and maybe Patri was the easier choice; after all, she got you to open up to her on one date in contrast to the initial pull-and-push you felt with Alexia. Coupling up with her would also give you a chance to explore that small spark, see if it’s worth it. But then that choice could come at Alexia’s expense. What if the connection with Patri was just a new type of excitement over someone new and you send Alexia home for nothing? 

Then again, what if you choose Alexia and never get a chance to know Patri? What if the spark you felt with her was worth exploring, but you wouldn’t ever know unless you took that risk?

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. All eyes were on you now, anticipating your decision. It was a big choice to make but you knew the clock was ticking and no amount of hesitation was going to save you from having to make this decision. 

“The person I choose to couple up with is…”

a/n: aaaa! bit of a dramatic series of events, isn't it? i hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. i included a poll below on who you guys would choose if you were in that position. while i feel a lot of you would be picking alexia, idk maybe some of u would choose patri!

anyway, releasing the other fics in the playlist series soon so i hope you all tune in!

— @gozzi-1154 @floppy-03 @daniwhatwhat @sapphicdarlingx @dfwspky @miss-americana22 @lilibach @liloandstitchstan @tikitakatia @beeversblues @aced-of-baked @maeshoneyles @jazard7 @daniwhatwhat

[spideysbruh]

Fourth Time's The Charm

a/n- FUCK THE OSCARS

~~

Timothée proposed to Y/n a total of four times. He knew she was his future wife, it was always just a matter of when.

1st- Karaoke

The first time Timothée ever proposed to Y/n was the first night they met, Zendaya had brought her over to introduce them to each other, and after a few minutes of conversation, he quickly realized that he had met his soulmate that night. 

They had spent pretty much the entire time talking to each other, cracking jokes and learning about each other. They were sitting in a booth together, watching her friend Kate completely butcher ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift when he spoke up over the music, “I’m one hundred percent sure I’m gonna marry you.” 

She quirked an eyebrow and smirked, “Are you proposing?”

He shrugged, “If you want me to be.”

She laughed, “Mmm maybe not yet.” She replied, a blush appearing on her face.

He chuckled and nodded, silently repeating her words. “Not yet.” He looked down at his drink, stood up, walked to the karaoke stage and typed in a song. 

He said something to Tom who was nearby and Tom turned around and looked at Y/n, sending her a nod. She furrowed her brows but nodded back. Tom laughed and said something to Timothée, who laughed and began the song.

She recognized it immediately and smiled as Kate sat down next to her, “You guys are hitting it off, huh?” She slurred, poking her arm.

“I love this song.” Y/n mumbled, her eyes never leaving him on the stage as he began to sing ‘I Want You’ by Bob Dylan.

Timothée maintained eye contact with her, a smile on his face while he finished the first verse.

Tom turned around and smiled when he saw Y/n start to sing along.

“I want you…. I want you!” Timothée pointed a finger at Y/n as he sang, “Oh, Y/n I want you…”

“So bad!” She had yelled out, making Kate snort as she downed another drink.

Timothée smiled and serenaded her for the rest of the song, he was suddenly shy as he walked off the stage and back to her.

She grinned up at him and stood up, pulling him in by his collar and pressing her lips on his. He hummed in surprise but quickly kissed back, his hands on her waist.

“I love that song.” She said against his lips.

“Yeah?” She nodded in response, “...I'm Bob Dylan.” He breathed out, making her laugh. 

“You're funny.” She giggled, not knowing that he was literally in preparations for the biopic.

2nd- Dinner

The second time, they were on a date at a restaurant. In the midst of their meals, Timothée spoke up.

“Remember when we first met?”

She smiled, “Of course I do, how could I forget? You told me you were Bob Dylan.” She giggled, “You also said that you wanted to marry me.”

“No no no! I said that I'm one hundred percent sure I’m gonna marry you.” He clarified, “I remember that day like it was yesterday.” He smiled, his eyes scanning across her face as she laughed.

“You serenaded me.” She blushed, “For the first time.” Timothée laughed at that.

About once a month, she makes him sing one of her favorite songs and chooses which instrument he should play.

He chuckled and reached across the table to hold her hand, “We should get married.” He said simply.

“Eventually, baby.” She replied, blushing at his words.

He shrugged, “Why not now? You're definitely my forever someone.” 

She smiled and squeezed his hand, “I would love to marry you, Timmy. Just not right now. I mean, I just got my new job and you're about to be away filming for the next few months. I don't want to start our engagement with us apart.” She explained, he listened and nodded.

“Yeah… yeah, you're right baby. I don't want a long engagement either. It'd be nice to plan everything together, in person. It's how it should be anyway.” He replied and they contently went back to their meals, Y/n tried to hide a smile by looking down at her lap. Timothée noticed and smirked.

Just not now.

3rd- SAG Night

Y/n loved her job and Timothée had just returned from filming for months. They'd missed each other, but tonight was his night. He was nominated, and she was 100 percent sure he was gonna win. He's waited forever for this moment, and she just knew that it was finally going to happen.

She looked gorgeous, he couldn't keep his eyes or hands off her, not that she minded.

“I don't even care if I don't win tonight, cause I get to take you home.” He said quietly on the carpet, she giggled and shook her head.

“You're funny.”

“I'm serious.” He said, taking her hand and guiding her further down the carpet.

Several hours later, Timothées award is about to be announced, she takes his hand and grins at him. 

He was nervous, he would never say it out loud but he really wanted it, and she knew it. He worked so hard for this role. He deserved it. She was excited and got him hyped during the commercial break right before.

When the announcers were naming the nominees and said his name, he squeezed her hand so tightly at the sound of the applause and she rubbed her thumb over his hand.

“And the Actor goes to…” They both held their breath as they opened the envelope, which felt like an eternity, “Timothée Chalamet!” 

Y/n jumped up, applauding and cheering so loudly for him, he grinned and stood up, pulling her in for a kiss. One that was maybe a little too passionate for TV, but she wasn't one to complain. 

“I'm so proud of you!” She exclaimed over the applause, her eyes getting watery. 

He smiled and kissed her again, “I love you, baby.” he said before walking up onto the stage.

Her tears fell out her eyes as she sat back down and watched him accept the award, he pulled out his speech from his pocket and began speaking.

She had seen him writing the speech a couple of weeks prior, and had asked to hear it but he said no because it would be too embarrassing if he ended up losing. She rolled her eyes at him, but accepted his answer.

His speech was beautiful, well said and empowering. And then- “Finally, Y/n. You have supported me through everything, your brutal honesty at times is not only refreshing, but needed.” The audience laughed at that and he laughed and met her eyes, his cheeks red, “Ahaha, you have made my life infinitely brighter and happier, I love living life with you and I can't wait to spend the rest of it side by side. I love you, my girl. More than there are stars in the sky and galaxies in the universe. For as long as I breathe. Thank you."

She sobbed at his final words and wiped her eyes which didn't help because she couldn't stop crying anyway. Timothée made his way back to her and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her head.

She looked up and saw that he was crying too, she reached up to wipe at his eyes, “I'm so incredibly proud of you. I knew you would win, but I still wasn't ready for your speech.” 

He smiled and kissed her again, slipping her some tongue. They could taste the saltiness from each other's tears but they couldn't care less. 

“Will you marry me, baby?” He mumbled against her lips, making her gasp.

She was quiet for a moment, she opened her eyes and saw him already staring at her, excitement and a bit of hope in his eyes. 

She smiled, but shook her head, “No, baby. Tonight is your night.” 

He pouted, but nodded, “You better fucking say yes next time.” He said, making her laugh. 

“I promise you that I will. Celebrate your Award!”

“We could be celebrating something else, too.” He teased, pinching her cheek.

She giggled and shook her head, “No no no, let tonight be about you, my love.”

4th- Forever and Always

A few weeks later, they were heading to one of their favorite restaurants, he was quieter than usual which she chalked up to him being hungry. 

When they park the car and get out, he takes her hand and they start walking to the doors, he opens it for her before he says, “Wait here for a second.” 

He walks to the hostess and they exchange words for a minute before he turns to look at her, his eyebrows now furrowed and stress etched all over his face. 

He turns back and says something, to which the hostess shakes her head. He sighs and turns back around, slowly walking over to Y/n, “Our reservation got fucked up baby, I'm sorry…. but we got something to look forward to in eight months!” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

She giggles and shrugs, “Hey, that could be an early dinner for your birthday or something.”

He laughs and sighs, walking them out and back to the car, “Fuck, now what?”

She hums and looks around, “There's some food trucks over there, let's get something from two different ones and we can split it.” She suggested, pointing her thumb to the trucks behind them.

He was quiet for a second, a pout on his face as he looked over at the trucks.

“I- I dunno, it's not- it's just- I was… I was looking forward to this place tonight.” He stuttered, she laughed and waved it off.

“It's okay, babe. Plus, we're gonna come back in eight months, remember?” She grins and takes his hand, pulling him towards the food trucks.

His mouth turns, but he follows her, he really was hungry.

She ordered some tacos and he got a burger, cut in half so she could try it. They sat on a park bench, taking food from each others plates as they chatted about anything and everything.

She sat criss cross facing him while he sat with one leg over the other, “We should get ice cream or something after this.” She suggests, he's quiet for a second but nods.

“Yeah baby, whatever you want!”

She smiles and continues eating, looking around at how pretty the park is right now. “It's so pretty here.” She simply says, sighing in contentment. He perks up a bit, thankfully going unnoticed by Y/n, and smirks, looking down at his pocket. 

He slowly reaches his hand down, his hand almost in his pocket when-

“AHHH! Oh my god it's Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n!” A girl yells out to her friends.

He groans and his hand quickly comes back up, moving his plate to the side as he stands up to greet the girls.

Y/n eyes him curiously before standing up as well, talking to the girls.

After taking pictures and chatting with them, they walk hand in hand to a nearby ice cream shop. Timothée is once again oddly quiet, she tries to dramatically swing their hands back and forth to make him laugh or something, but to no avail.

She orders two scoops of cookies and cream ice cream, and he goes to order just plain vanilla but-

“Sorry, we ran out of vanilla earlier today.” The worker says apologetically.

He groans, “How do you run out of vanilla?” He lightheartedly jokes, but Y/n can sense his underlying frustrations.

She awkwardly laughs, “They have like 30 other flavors babe.”

“Yeah I know, I know. Just reallyyyyy wanted vanilla… I'll have butter pecan then.” He says, tiredly rubbing his face.

They get their ice cream and head back to the car. They eat it on their walk.

“You want me to drive, Timmy?” She offers, throwing her empty ice cream cup out. He simply nods and hands her the keys, still opening the door for her before going around and getting in the passenger seat.

She starts the car and makes sure he puts his seatbelt on before driving away. He's quiet, too quiet. She hums along to the song on the radio, and he reaches over and grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers. 

He brings her hand up and presses his lips on the back of it, kissing it softly, “I love you.” He says, leaning over the console and nuzzling his head against her shoulder.

She smiles and squeezes his hand, “I love you too, baby.” 

They get home and she gets changed and is sitting at their vanity, doing her nightly skincare routine when she sees Timothée grab his guitar and sit on their bed, softly strumming.

He's humming a song, one she instantly recognizes, one that they consider to be their song, one that, for him, solidified the fact that they were soulmates.

“I want you… I want you…” He softly sings, meeting her eyes in the mirror, she suggestively raises her eyebrows at him. He smirks and blushes before looking back down at the guitar.

“Timmy, I want you… so bad.” She sings, making him chuckle.

He goes to sing the next verse but his guitar string suddenly breaks, “Fuck!” he yells, shooting up off the bed and roughly putting the guitar in the corner. He groans and rubs his face again, collapsing on the bed.

Y/n frowns and gets up from the vanity, sitting on the edge of the bed, she doesn't say anything but she soothingly rubs his leg.

“This is not how I expected the night to go.” He says from behind his hands, sighing and turning on his side, his back facing her.

She tuts and pulls on his shoulder to turn him back around, “It's okay, my love. We can fix it tomorrow, no biggie.”

He groans again, not opening his eyes, “Why did fucking everythingggggg go wrong today? Does the universe hate me?” He mumbled, his voice catching in his throat, making Y/ns heart drop.

He was really emotional right now. She furrowed her eyebrows and caressed his face, “No honey, I promise you it doesn't! It's just one of those days, you know? Like- remember that day where I accidentally dented my car against that fire hydrant, proceeded to spill my coffee all over my outfit, and then got a ticket because I accidentally parked next to said fire hydrant? Then later that same day a dog kicked up a shit ton of mud onto my clean backup outfit?” She reminded him, laughing a bit at the memory.

He snorted and shook his head, “It seemed like you were texting me with a different, fucked up update every hour.” He laughed, finally opening his eyes. 

They were red and watery, she pouted a bit and slowly ran her thumb across his cheekbone. “I just-” he clears his throat, “I just had such a different idea for how today was supposed to go, man.” He moaned, tilting his head more into her hand, kissing her palm.

“It's okay, baby. Why was today so special, huh?” She wonders, he makes eye contact with her again and shrugs.

“I dunno.” He muttered, sitting up and completely facing her.

“Yes you do.” She replies simply, he smiles a bit at that.

“Maybe I do. Who's to say? And what do you care, anyway?” He teasingly shrugs, making her laugh.

“Come onnnn!” She whines, wrapping her arms around his neck, “It's me, Timo!” She pouts up at him, making him groan and look away.

“You suck, you're too fucking cute.” He chuckles, looking back and kissing her lips, sliding his tongue in between them.

She hums and pulls away, “Don't try to get out of it, baby. Tell me, that's what I'm here for, you'd want me to tell you.” She says, nudging her nose with his.

He sighs and looks down, “You're right, my darling. It's just-” He looks back up and she nods, patiently waiting for him to voice his problem. “Well…” He nervously chuckles, now avoiding her eyes.

“Yeah?” She calmly asks, her voice as sweet as ever.

“Ahahahaaa.” He laughs, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. 

She notices but waits patiently to hear what he's going to say, soothingly rubbing his arm.

He quickly feels his pocket and sighs, meeting her eyes, “Will you marry me?”

She gasps, shooting back in surprise, “Oh my god.” She grins, covering her mouth as she giggles. She watches him pull out a box, opening it and revealing a beautiful ring. Her eyes water as she sees how nervous he is, his hands shaking while holding the box, waiting for her to answer.

“That's why I was so pissed today, fucking… everything went wrong.” He chuckles, “I just wanted- I wanted it to be perfect.” He says.

She lets her tears fall down her face, “It is perfect, Timmy. Fuck- it's so incredibly perfect, you're so incredibly perfect, I love you.” She smiles, lunging forward and attacking him with kisses, he smiles and kisses her quickly before pulling away and awaiting her answer, she enthusiastically nods, “Yes, I'll marry you! I'll definitely marry you, fuck I'm gonna marry you so hard.” 

He laughs, taking the ring from the box and sliding it on her finger, “I can't wait. I literally have everything planned in my head already.” 

She smiles in awe, “Really?”

He nods, “Even got a secret pinterest board.” 

“Okayyyy, cancel your plans for tomorrow cause we're definitely going through that all day.” She giggles, kissing him again.

He wipes a tear from his eye and caresses her cheek, “Fuck, I can't believe we're finally engaged. Fourth time's the charm huh?” 

She snorts, “I'm sorry… the other times were just-”

“You don't gotta explain anything to me, my love. I understood every reason and you were right every time.” He says, simply shrugging and kissing her again, moving her to lay down as he hovers over her.

She smiles and caresses his cheek, he inhales and kisses her palm, meeting her eyes.

He moves down to kiss her neck, leaving hickeys when he speaks up, “Y’know what I told Tom when I got on that little karaoke stage the first day we met?”

“What?” She moans, holding onto his arm as his tongue drags across her neck. 

“I said that if you knew the song I chose, you were definitely my future wife.” He chuckles, looking up at her and kissing her cheek.

She smiles and pushes him away a bit to look at his face, “Seriously?” He nods.

“Yeah. The second I saw your reaction once I started playing… I swear-” He chuckles a bit, “It's embarrassing, but I swear to god… I pictured our entire lives together. I told you I was gonna marry you and you played along, I chose that song and you loved it… I proposed to you four fucking times because I knew you were my future wife.”

“Fuck Timothée, I love you.” She sighs, leaning up to kiss him, he groans and lowers himself back on top of her, licking into her mouth. He tastes the saltiness from her tears and intertwines their fingers. The coolness from the engagement ring pressing against his warm hand just right. He never wants to see her hand without that ring.

“I love you more.” He mumbles against her lips, “It's always been you. It's like I was waiting my whole fucking life for you. Like I wasn't a whole person until I met you.” 

Her heart swells at his words, some more tears fall out of her eyes which he soothingly wipes away.

“I love you so easily, Timmy. I can't wait to marry you, we're gonna be the best married couple ever just watch.” She says, making him laugh. 

“We gotta be the best engaged couple first.” He grins, softly kissing her cheek.

“Ohhh, we got this.” She giggles, holding his face in her hands, admiring every mark on his face.

“Hell yeah we do.” 

*

[neil-gaiman]

I apologize in advance, but I have been listening to the Good Omens audio book with my daughter. She enjoys it quite a bit, but of course she has questions and I do my best to answer them as objectively as I can.

She was having a hard time understanding why everything in the Bentley turned into Queen even if Crowley did not seem to even like listening to Queen. I eventually compared the Bentley playing Queen to the radio nowadays constantly playing Taylor Swift. I tried to explain that it was joke about Queen being overplayed and how if the book had been written today the Bentley may have very well been playing Taylor Swift much to Crowley’s chagrin.

I failed to understand how insulting to a 7 year old it is to even entertain Taylor Swift being a joke and Crowley being anything less than personally responsible for the Eras Tour.

(In her mind) The Bentley clearly has access to the radio so they HAVE to know Taylor Swift exists. How could Queen songs ever be good enough that the Bentley wouldn’t just immediately drop them for Bad Blood and Wildest Dreams?

While the mental image of the Bentley and Crowley chasing Taylor around the world with the rest of swifties is hilarious, the discussion of Queen vs Taylor Swift has reached a point where I can no longer remain objective or sane. I told her I would try asking someone who might actually know the answers to her inquiries.

So kind sir, do you happen to know how the Bentley-and I supposed by extension, Crowley- feel about Taylor Swift, her music, and her recent siege of the music industry?

(She’s also asked if Crowley ever took the Bentley to drive in theaters so they could see movies too.)

I very much hope the Bentley in the book would love Taylor Swift as much as it once loved Queen. Alas, there are no drive in movie theaters in the UK -- or if there are now, there weren't when the book was written. But if there were I'm sure he would have done.

[skyrigel]

Hi! I love all of your writing, could please do Benedict and best friend reader at a ball and he over hears some girls bullying reader and goes OFF and reader runs off and he thinks he’s embarrassed her but when he finds her she explains she found it super hot and then some smut please! 💖

You are in love 1 || B.B

Part 2 of " you are in love"

Pairing: Benedict bridgerton x best friend! Reader, + Polin

Warning: fem! reader, no description of reader, friendly flirting and teasing, mutual pinning, use of inappropriate words, reader has a step sister. Fluff and angst, part 1 of you are in love. Part : 2 will be smut

Rigel's note 🪩: Thank you for requesting, and the compliment<3333 *smooches* I hope you don't mind me doing it in two parts :) the title is taken from Taylor Swift's song " you are in love", it popped as soon as I read best friend reader, hope it's not as bad as it's in my head, sending love back, also part 2 soon.

" Perks of being a woman, you don't have to dance with Eloise bridgerton." You remarked when it was the fifth time Eloise stepped on lord White's toe.

Benedict snorted on his lemonade as he looked at you sideways, his iconic lop sided grin plastered to his smug face.

" I was her dance partner, " Benedict fake sniffed, wiping the fake tear, ", that too, before she started lessons."

You winced at the idea of Eloise before her lesson and gave Benedict a pat on his back for being ever the sacrifice.

" I thought that's why you danced wierd " you told him, smiling when he looked at you scandalously.

" Excuse me ?! " He narrowed his eyes, " you take that back ! " He slammed the glass down with force.

" Will not, you dance like...like a snowman ! " You beamed, slamming your fan down and glaring back, nose to nose, eye to eye.

" That never stopped you from dancing with me." He said smugly and retreated to his space with a satisfied look in his eyes when your jaw slacked slightly.

" You don't dance like a snowman with me." you told him in a small voice and that's when it hit you how gracefully he twirled you around when he was practically running away from other beautiful young ladies.

Benedict smiled, his eyes twinkling at you as he raised his brow, like in a question.

" And why would you think that ? " His mouth twisted and you didn't know what to say.

" Perhaps because I dance well...? " You tried and despite it being not the answer he expected, he laughed all the same.

" You dance like a ... a Kangaroo." Benedict thought hard and a muscle in his jaw twitched, he smiled proudly when he got the right word to annoy you.

" What's a kangaroo ? " You asked, you had heard it somewhere but it was easier to ask him than think hard.

" It's like..." Benedict motioned with his hands something like a vase," it's a cute animal." He finally said when nothing more could be made out from his gestures.

"Oh." You nodded and then it hit you, " Did you just call me an ANIMAL ?! " You snarled at him and he shaked his head with a chuckle.

" I called you cute too." He squabbled.

" Kangaroo's aren't cute ! " You jabbed at him and he chuckled, grabbing your wrist firmly, a spark so bright jolted inside you and you felt your face grow hot.

" Then I don't dance like a snowman—" you sticked your tongue out at him and he was lost in words, just looking, you saw the opportunity and yanked your hand away from his grip. He relented like a gentleman.

" You are always like..like running away and leaning off while dancing and it's so so snowman like." You argued and Benedict's eyes twinkled like moon.

" Have you seen a snowman waltzing ? " Benedict asked and you shaked your head, while clutching at your chest, you couldn't help the giggling.

" Yes if we are talking about a tall, handsome and smug snowman."

" You think I am handsome ? " Benedict ducked his head closer to your face and you felt your breath hitching in your throat, like air was punched out of your chest.

You rolled your eyes when it became too apparent that no word would come out of your traitorous throat and you couldn't help but gaze back at him, he looked back just the same, all fire and blaze.

" You didn't answer my question." He said slowly, each word carefully and it squeezed your heart how close his face was, how beautiful those eyes were, and that nose, and those cheeks, those lines when he smiled, he oftened and it was so warm and gorgeous, how you never noticed how captivating he was, every atom of his body was tied with an invisible thread with yours, a golden one. And you would be damned to think of that mouth, your lips parted at the ethereal site and Benedict smiled at that.

" No." You just said it, eager to say anything and break this moment, it was swirling you around in a storm.

" No ? " He questioned, frowning and he was handsome at that too, you were so doomed.

" You are silly like handsome, like some lord Byron poetry." you murmured softly, safe guarding the hammering heart in your chest and blinking at the sudden burn from his gaze on you, drinking you in, his brow knitted in funny way, a mock annoyance crossed his face.

" Lord Byron ?! Really, " he dropped back to his seat and you finally took a breath, then he covered his face like a damsel in distress and when he glanced sideways at you, he was smiling his brightest, oh, you just realised how goofy and precious and mesmerizing his smile was, you wished to stop time and paint it under your lids so everytime you close your eyes, you could meet him there, in your secret gardens and then a death like that would be sweeter.

" What ? " You exasperated when he refused to look away, even when your nose wrinkled and face basked in it's warmth, he wouldn't let go of you, taking each and every detail in like he was wishing to stop time too and paint you. He could, he was an artist.

" You called me poetry..." His mouth quirked up in a delightful grin, like it explained all the merry and you groaned, looking away as you huffed the tingling in your body that wouldn't go, your eyes landed on a very eventful moment.

" Is that our Colin ? " You raised your brow at Benedict who sat up straighter and turned his gaze to the other side of the hall.

" Why is he eye murdering lord Debling ? " You asked him, he winked and pulled your chair closer, not caring if any mama saw or perhaps lady whistledown herself.

" Penelope is dancing with lord Debling, and well she's laughing at something too, oh—" Benedict whispered in the shell of your ear and you barely nodded, Colin looked like he had enough, he was making his way through the crowd towards Pen.

" Forty shillings if he punches lord Debling." You piped up, Benedict shaked his head.

" You are gonna lose cupcake, he's gonna take Miss Featherington's hand and—" you gasped when Colin stopped abruptly, said something urgently and took Penelope's wrist between his hand, Benedict cocked his head to his side and winked smugly.

" And ? " You drawled and it amused Benedict beyond limits, like he has been waiting for it.

" Birds and bees." He said in a code like hushed whisper, you smacked the back of his head.

" I don't have a mother, you know." You told Benedict and he touched his upper lip with the tip of his pink tongue, he nodded along knowingly.

" Well, someone's gotta teach you."

" Mm.. you are my best friend." You would look anywhere but at him but your eye's were locked in his, he was being brave then so can you. One step, not much.

" I can not tell you birds and bee." Benedict said sincerely.

" Colin helped Pen ! " You said, nose flaring as he worried his jaw but didn't say anything.

" He told her how kids are made, something like going to a farm and then...well he kissed her but that's not the point." You blurted in a whisper, he listened intently.

" He kissed her already ? "

" Well a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell but a lady can, but that's not the point! " You pouted, his resistance crumbled but then again, bloody bridgerton.

" That's not my place cupcake." He was breathing hard, his mouth would open and snap close again, taking back all the things left unsaid.

" Well then—" you hated how choked your voice got, you tried, didn't you, it's not like you left it on god's cue, this was the biggest hint you could have given him and if he didn't got this, then only bricks might work.

Give him one more, a small voice said in your head, it was yours, but stronger and braver than you.

" —then you can tell me about love."

Benedict laughed on that, like it was the funniest thing you had said.

" You know what? I take it back, I am gonna ask someone—" you smoothed your skirt and began to get up when he pulled you down.

" Sorry, I didn't mean that, sorry, don't go leaving me stranded." He pleaded.

You looked at him hard, looking for any sign of humour and you found none, he was glittering when he clapped his tongue and opened his mouth, his soft tongue resting like a tired cat.

" Love," he began," is like music."

" Like music." You repeated, struggling with the fit laughter that shook your shoulders.

Benedict glanced at you offended but when he spoke next, it was how the poets said, with longing and desire, like bleeding for your beloved and when no blood was left then it was ink and parchment.

" You can hear it in the silence." He said, you remembered those afternoons when no word was said between you and your bestfriend and yet nothing was hidden and left unsaid.

" You can feel it on your way home." He said, penetrating his gaze in you eyes and he remembered damn well that night after he rescued you from the lake when you almost drowned, the terror of losing you, the spark of holding you closer than ever.

" You can see it with the light's out, it's so bright and golden." Everything is more beautiful with you Benedict, you told him one Sunny afternoon, basking under a tree while he read you poetry, Better than Byron.

" Loving that one person will make you love yourself, with them, you are enough." He was whispering now, chest heaving as his hand trembled and unknowingly yours found his under the table, locked eye's and joined hands and sacred whispered chants. It was enough.

" You aren't too much, or too little, or loud or boring, you don't have to be interesting or witty or anything, being youself with them is enough." I like myself with you, he had told you when you were sixteen.

" That's love, being safe with them is love, being their home is love, to be able to leave all shades behind and be naked in just body and soul and not being afraid, not being embarassed is love."

" Benedict..." Your voice was soft and sweet and it took him a moment to realise he was crying, when you gently wiped it's proof with your handkerchief.

" I...I will be back in a moment—" he stumbled out, still smiling a small smile and oh god what you have done, you have ruined him as well your self and nothing will ever be the same.

" Yes...." You said, because he was waiting for your approval, he nodded back when he got it and disappeared amongst the crowd as you watched him leave.

Love was indeed like music, the one you liked, it could be light as bee buzzing and sharp as thunder roaring in clouds, it could be slow and rhythmic and soft like water flowing, it could be the sound of his laughter and the way he drew his breath, it could be how he whined and joked and played and teased, for you, love was the music and muse of Benedict bridgerton and yes, you were very much doomed.

" What a pleasant site, a spinster smiling on her own, have you planned some scandalous plan of yours to bag some noble man ? " Claire wheezed in a duckling like laughter, shared with Asha Patil and Gissele Turner.

You refused to say anything, it only further added spice to their boring marital lives, with their husbands out and wombs empty.

" Would you look at her ? She's giving us that attitude, no wonder she's still unmarried ! " Scowled Asha, with her frizzy hair and crooked nose, her eyes coated in loathing of most tainted kind.

" She might had gotten the ring if she wasn't being Mr. Bridgerton's bitch." Gissele whispered it down to you and anger shot up through your veins and your eyes snapped to her, it didn't matter if she was your elder sister and the rage that blinded you was so fierce that you didn't feel when two big tears rolled down your cheek.

" Don't cry now, you can always be his mistress atleast." They all laughed, loud and big and white teeth flashing, with their fake diamond rings rubbing in your eyes but it was too blur, you saw nothing, you heard nothing, everything was drowning around you.

" Speaking of mistresses, Lord Hasting has bought a bigger estate for his mistress than your home in east London and I wouldn't blame him lady Hasting."

You can hear it in the silence.

It was your love's voice, it was your Benedict speaking and you lifted your mascara stained lashed eyes at him.

If you had known him less than you couldn't have known of the terrible anger that was shaking him, that smile was no ordinary, it was feral and stray, wanting to tear anyone who dared to come near, he was burning in anger that was beyond words.

Claire sizzled at that remark, turning her hand to her palm side and only moments ago she was flashing her ring and now, she was hiding it.

" Don't ruin your reputation by showing ungratefuls such as her your pity Mr. Bridgerton." It would've hurt less, were it Claire or Asha, but it was your own half sister, be it half blood but blood all the same.

" Lady Turner, i have no wish to speak to you, you have hurt my best friend beyond words, you had taken her affections for granted so if someone's ungrateful then it's sorely you, you don't deserve a sister like her, she's too good for all of us." He was carefully placing the word and his anger slipped between, his teeth grinded and breath hitched, you stared, just at him and him, everything was getting dimmer but you knew in that moment, you would know him in darkness.

you can feel it with the light's out.

He had done many things for you, Benedict stole Anthony's horse to take you out on a midnight ride, he nicked Colin's sword and taught you fencing, bought ribbons of your favourite pastel silk, saved your favourite sweets, and so many and so more, but this was something you couldn't have done yourself if you wanted, he had done it, he had stood up for you and it was the most gleaming moment of your life, he wasn't playing hero, he wasn't being mean, he was protecting your with your honour and Benedict, the gentleman who wouldn't hurt a fly, he was going to dagger them down with words alone.

He was speaking and speaking and they were all quiet, their eyes low and nose bowed down, he was speaking and speaking, words clear with pure affection and respect and then your felt it.

The warmness aroused in your womanhood and an inaudible gasp parted through your lips as you felt the slicky wet feeling caress your inner thigh and the sensation was so electrifying that you had to close your eyes in order to take a breath and even then, you could feel his words, soft and praising, " ......if you were half good as a woman she is....." He was breathless and he wasn't stopping and something inside you wanted to cup his face and tell him, don't Stop, never stop.

And then his eyes looked for you, he found your gaze and held it and you felt the shame, you couldn't do this to him, this burning desire would take you both down in flames and what it would be to become one, only in ashes, it was scaring you.

And before you could think of say anything, you were already on your feet, stumbling through the crowd with your gown kissing the floor behind you.

You didn't know where you were going but far, away and this feeling wouldn't let go, you knew well but you wanted air, the warmness that was spreading was maddening and the hunger was tugging under your skin.

He was calling out your name, you hated yourself but you needed to run, this love would ruin you, what if Benedict hated you if you told him how you felt, how you thought about him, would he call you a whore along with Gissele, would it hurt more ?

More than anything.

His voice turned to pleading as crowd thickened and you were getting out of his sight. You wouldn't look back, because if you did then you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from doing something very stupid.

You were out of the gates, descending down the stairs as one heel slipped out but you didn't care, you were on a run.

Johnny was already motioning the horses as you frantically climbed in, you could see Colin chasing down Penelope's carriage in a distance as you opened the window to inhale heavy gulps of air.

Would Benedict Chase you down too ? Would he come and look for you ? And if he did, what would you tell him ?

You are my best friend.

Part 2

[xhopelesslyromanticx]

Delusional - Lando Norris x Fewtrell!Reader

Masterlist

summary: In which the internet once again is fooled by your slightly overdramatic side. Rumors about Lando dumping you circulate but luckily the Mclaren driver is just as delusional as you are. Social Media Au

y/nfewtrell

Home

liked by kellypiquet and 60‘797 others

y/nfewtrell in my feelings bruh

view all comments

maxfewtrell did you take my hoodie?

y/nstans what why????

user567 sense a breakupppp

f1islife stunning

arthur_leclerc *plays taylor swift

user345 arthur what do you know

y/nandlan Lando didn’t like?!

user567 see his post? he seems completely unbothered

user898 Landos too good for her anyw

f1gossip you sound bitter

user787 i just always had weird vibes from her

f1gossip we‘ve met y/n and she‘s literally an angel

y/nfewtrell thanks means a lot

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell and 567‘897 others

landonorris how I try to entertain

view all comments

user687 such a hottie

f1fans someone say unbothered cough

georgerussell63 I thought you were on a diet?

alex_albon he‘s abt 4ft tall he doesn’t need a diet

mclaren next week we back to veggies

f1lover wheres the missus

user789 y/n doesn’t attend most gps she goes to university

f1fans yeah but so do Alex and Kika yet they seem to be way more supportive

user789 I‘m sure shes supportive just maybe also focused on her on career?

y/nstans y/n not liking landos post has me scaredddd

maxfewtrell looking smug

landonorris thanks bestieeee

maxfewtrell

Paris

liked by landonorris and 123‘890 others

maxfewtrell took the little nugget to paris @y/nfewtrell

view all comments

user578 she‘s so cute

f1lover peeping the papaya phone case

norrisandme yes also Lando liked! they goood

y/nfrance we met her yesterday and she seemed fine

arthur_leclerc the nugget in the big city

y/nfewtrell miss you archer

f1gossip my fave friendship

user787 why is she already flirting with guys when the rumors aren’t comfirmed

maxfewtrell oh god if you think y/n can flirt you‘re in for suprises

y/nfewtrell thanks maxie :) loved the trip

team_quadrant let’s go to Brazil!!!!

f1gossip

liked by user676 and 12‘899 others

f1gossip You guys know we normally don’t cover anything realitionship releated but it looks like Lando and Y/n are going through some crisis. She appeared on a tiktok crying after a series of mysterious tweets and instagram posts. Neither her or Lando have yet confirmed the rumors. But she has been absent from his likes and vice versa.

view all comments

user676 she’s making it obvious

f1fans cloutchaser?

y/nstans shut up

landonorris @y/nfewtrell care to explain missy

y/nfewtrell no i dont care to, peace out

user676 omg they commented

norrislove they clearly are clowing y‘all

maxfewtrell the woman cries like twelfe times a day and people still wonder?

landonorris twelfe is a little much, ten maybe eleven

y/nfewtrell I have my reasons this time!

y/nfewtrell

Austin Texas

liked by charlottesine and 234‘890 others

y/nfewtrell my lanlan. I formally apologize for being a lot to handle sometimes. I do love you more than words could even get close to explain. Thanks for being the best boyfriend and bestfriend. Thanks for pretending I‘m 21 forever.

view all comments

landonorris my world, anything for you 🧡

y/nfewtrell love youuu

maxfewtrell disgusting

maxfewtrell we all know she aint 21, plus he’s MY bestfriend

f1gossip we stan an overdramatic queen

charlottesine power couple

y/nfewtrell thanks chacha

user787 how annoying all that for such a petty reason

f1fans right i was relieved he had dumped her ass

y/nstans sad people you are, she clearly makes him happy

arthur_leclerc happy 21st I guess ;)

landonorris whats with the wink you twat

f1user y/n control your mans

landonorris

liked by f1 and 1‘124‘799 others

landonorris happy 21st birthday to the most beautiful 21 one year old I know. I love you so much eventhough your overdramatic soul makes people assume we broke up every couple of months. I love you my angel.

view all comments

user676 21!?!?

f1gossip look at y/ns post

f1lover they have me dead

charles_leclerc isn’t she-

arthur_leclerc shut up charlie

maxfewtrell tell them!

y/nfewtrell thanks bean. I love you more.

maxfewtrell bean? cringe

kellypiquet such a beautiful girl

f1gossip so the whole drama reallly was bc she doesn’t wanna turn 22 hahaha

user67 she‘s truly overdramatic

f1 we love a supportive and delusional king

mclaren like a true gentleman Mr.Norris

maxfewtrell

Sao Paulo

liked by oscarpiastri and 123‘788 others

maxfewtrell happy 22nd second you LIAR, never thought Lando would go as delulu as you. Love you nugget.

comment have been disabled

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x shy Hufflepuff fem!reader

Summary: You have a massive crush on James. One you didn't think would ever lead anywhere until a drunken party in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Genre: Fluff 🫶

Warnings: drinking, being drunk

~ directly inspired by the song So High School by Taylor Swift. thank you to the anon who requested this! ily! ~

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

Your cheeks burn from your embarrassment and the fire-whiskey in your blood-stream as your ears ring from the loud music dancing around you and you shake your head.

Lily Evans laughs as she glances around the Common Room. "C'mon, this is your chance," she insists, "They're playing Kiss, Marry, or Kill."

When Lily sees your confused and frankly frightened expression, she quickly explains, "It's a muggle game—it's harmless and fun—c'mon," she says again and pulls on your arm.

"Gentlemen," Lily declares when you approach the circle of students near the fire and she looks at the ring leaders of the group, The Marauders.

They're the ones that had planned this party—or Sirius and James had while Remus and Peter tagged along.

Sirius grins when he sees Lily. 

"Aw, are you joining us, Red?" he smirks and then he sees you, "And who's your friend?"

You smile shyly. You know Peter from Care Of Magical Creatures in your third year, and you often seen Remus in the library (you've even spoken to him a few times), but you've only ever seen and heard James and Sirius from afar—

—which definitely never helped the stupid, baseless, soul-crushing crush you have on James Potter. 

Remus, who is sitting criss-cross ext to Sirius, speaks up, "Y/n, yeah? You're a Hufflepuff—I see you in the library." He smiles kindly and pushes on James's shoulder, who has the latter almost choking on his beer, so you can sit next to him. 

James frowns but he recovers quickly and looks up, his glasses crooked on his nose. He's wearing his Quidditch sweater, his brown hair a tangled mess, but he's smiling now.

"Hi," he moves so you can sit next to him and Remus as Lily grins like a fool. You feel her hand on your shoulder as she plops you down next to James and she sits across from you. 

Apart from the Marauders, other students are also sitting around the circle and chatting. Sirius is by far the loudest of them all, and you think James is the funniest. 

It becomes honestly embarrassing how hard you laugh at any stupid joke he says. You can't help it, your tipsiness impairs any rational thoughts you may have, as you cover your mouth and stifle your laughs. 

James notices immediately and he grins. 

"Never had this much success, dove," he says, as charming as always, "You're cute."

This causes you to become even more flustered and you don't even know how to answer him. So, you hide from him, turning your head in the opposite direction. Lily sends you a knowing look.

James leans his knee closer to yours and you have to convince yourself he did that by accident or you'll simply implode. 

"Okay, Jamie, Kiss, Marry, Kill—me, Lily, and our new sweet little Hufflepuff," Sirius suddenly says, pulling your attention to the group again. You still have no clue what this game is and your eyes round.

Sirius seems quite pleased with himself.

James sips his drink, "Hmm, Kill you because you're a pain in my arse—" 

Sirius dramatically puts a hand on his heart, feigning hurt at his best friend's words. "And here I had the ring all prepared," he whines. 

James chuckles and continues. "Then um," he looks between you and Lily for a moment and your heart sinks.

Everyone knows James had a thing for Lily in second to fourth year. How could you, someone who had been too shy and awkward to even talk to him, compete with smart, incredibly witty, and beautifully stunning Lily Evans?

"Kiss Lily and marry Y/n," James shrugs, smiling lopsidedly as he looks at you and pushes his glasses further up his nose. "Lils' seems like she'd be a decent snog, but I like them sweeter for the long run," he reasons and winks. 

Lily laughs and rolls her eyes, "Smooth, Potter."

"No need to get all green-eyed on us, Evans," James says and turns his attention to you again, "Whadd'ya say, lil' puff, June 17th in six years?" he says, planning the future fake wedding.

You look up at him, your eyes round and you blink—unable to laugh it off as your heart thumps so loudly you can barely hear a thing anymore. 

"I think you broke the poor girl," Remus chuckles and then turns to Peter to steer the attention away from you, "Okay, Wormy, your turn."

Thank Merlin for Remus Lupin.

* * *

A while later, you stand in the corner of the room, your mind still stuck on how James's teasing that you don't hear the man in question come up to you.

"Hey, dove," he whispers and you spin around.

"Oh–hi," you whisper. You must look so smitten because you can just feel your cheeks burn.

James smirks. "It's late. Where's Lily?"

You frown as you look around, "She's talking with um—some of her other friends over there—" you point, expecting James to walk to her and leave you behind.

Instead, he stays. "You think she'd mind if I walk you back to your Common Room, you seem a little tipsy."

You're at a loss for words but then you stutter, "O-oh, no, I don't think she would mind," you whisper, "That's very kind of you, James. I c-can walk alone if it's a bother—"

"Nonsense. If it was a bother, I wouldn't have asked," James takes your arm, pushing some hair from your face with his fingers.

"Cute ribbon," he adds, looking at the red ribbon in your hair, "Very on brand with Gryffindor pride," he chuckles as he clearly enjoys the flustered look you're wearing.

"You're adorable," he says and he takes your hand, leading you out into the hall. The corridors are empty and dimly lit at this time in the evening and it feels surreal to walk the halls hand in hand with James Potter—especially when he keeps looking back at you with that look on his face. 

When you arrive at the entrance of the Hufflepuff Common Room, James turns to you and he keeps his hand in yours. He's blushing obviously now and you can smell the beer on his breath.

"If we weren't so tipsy," he mumbles, his knuckles caressing your skin, "I would kiss you right now."

Your eyes widen and your breath leaves you. "Pardon?"

"You heard me, love—where have you been all my life?" he sounds lovesick and one of his palms press against his warm cheek, "Is this what love at first sight is supposed to feel like? Because I was convinced that was all bullshit until now. What charm have you put on me, Y/n?"

You look away because if you look into his eyes any longer, you'll faint. Your hand squeezes his as his words make you feel dizzy and all fluttery. "I think you're just a little drunk, James."

"Drunk in love, yeah," he half-jokes, his tone soft as he leans in and his lips find your forehead.

You shut your eyes, wondering how he could make you feel like this in a mere matter of hours and although your insecurities creep in, you stay in the moment. 

"Where can I find you tomorrow?" James whispers against your skin. 

"I'm in the library a lot, especially in the mornings," you say, having no expectations of ever seeing James Potter again. You and him live on completely different planets.

"You can find me there if you'd like," you finish and James nods, his lips kissing your temple one last time and then he whispers a small, sweet dreams into your skin. 

* * *

  In the morning, you ignore your hangover and find your usual spot in the back of the library as you open an old book written by an ancient muggle philosopher. 

Last night's events in the Gryffindor Common Room play in your head as you read. 

"Mornin'." You're startled by a familiar voice and you look up from your book. James stands in front of you, a Quaffle under his arm as his hair splays messily across his forehead.

He's still dressed in his Quidditch Uniform and he walks closer, smiling. "Sorry I'm late—practice ran later than usual. Whatcha reading?" he asks, sitting across from you and draping his arm across the chair next to his as the Quaffle sits in his lap.

"You came," you whisper with a smile, your heart fluttering.

"Yeah, 'course I came," James says so casually as he leans over the table and taps your book, "Whatcha reading, dove? Do tell me all about it,"

You feel all warm and fuzzy like all your wildest dreams have come true, when you say, "Only if you tell me all about Quidditch practice after?" you look at him shyly.

"Your wish is my command," James grins, a faint blush on his cheeks.

[thelovehypothesis]

You ramble, but it's adorable

Ollie Bearman x fem!reader

From this request 

+1k words

a/n's: this was requested on my old account which I accidentally deleted but, hope this fic finds the person that requested it!

warnings: fluff!

summary: lost in your latest obsession, and he's completely captivated by your every word—because to Ollie, every ramble is just another reason to fall in love.

Ollie had always found it easy to get lost in the small moments—those quiet pauses between races, when the world slowed down just enough for him to savour the simplicity of life. But nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the way he felt right now, watching you animatedly explain your latest obsession.

You were sitting on the couch, knees tucked under you, eyes sparkling as you tried to unpack the complex universe that Taylor Swift had created with her "folklore" album. Your hands moved in quick gestures as you traced out what you called "the love triangle of all love triangles" between Betty, James, and August. Ollie leaned against the backrest, listening with a quiet smile, his eyes never leaving your face. 

"And then—" you continued, your voice slightly higher in pitch with excitement, "in 'Cardigan,' Betty is talking about how she loved James even after he messed everything up. But, and here's the crazy part, 'August' is from the perspective of the girl James cheated on her with!" You waved your hands in a dramatic arc. "It’s so genius because it’s like each song is a different piece of the same story. I mean, can you even imagine the emotional depth it takes to create something like that?"

Ollie chuckled softly, shaking his head just enough for you to notice but not enough to interrupt you. You barely paused, too deep in your passionate analysis of the music to stop. 

"But wait, I’m not done!" You looked at him, eyes wide. "You’ve got 'Betty' next, which is James' apology song. He’s basically trying to get Betty back after messing around with August, but you can tell he’s just a stupid kid who didn’t know what he had until he lost it!" You sighed dramatically, clutching a pillow to your chest. "It’s heartbreaking, but also like... I can't stop listening to it on repeat."

Ollie couldn't help it; his heart swelled at how much you cared about all these tiny details, how you put your whole soul into explaining it to him. He loved how your face lit up with excitement, how your voice carried the melody of your thoughts so effortlessly. And he especially loved how you didn’t care whether he knew every little detail or not—you just wanted to share it with him.

"You’re adorable, you know that?" Ollie said softly, his voice cutting through your rambling just enough to make you pause.

You blinked, thrown off for a second. "What?" 

"You ramble, but it's adorable," he repeated, this time with that signature Ollie grin that made your stomach flip. He reached out, gently tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered near your cheek, warm and soft.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. "I’m not rambling… am I?"

"You absolutely are," Ollie teased, leaning forward so that his face was inches from yours. "But don’t stop. I like it when you talk about stuff like this. It’s like... I can see how much it means to you, and I love seeing you so happy."

You playfully swatted his arm, but your heart was beating faster, the tender warmth of his words melting away any embarrassment. "Fine," you said, narrowing your eyes in mock seriousness, "but don’t complain when I start talking about the metaphors behind the lyrics."

"I wouldn’t dream of it." He pulled you closer, his arm slipping around your waist. His eyes softened as they held yours, and for a moment, the world outside your little bubble disappeared.

The next thing you knew, his lips were on yours. The kiss was soft at first, a gentle brush of affection. But then Ollie deepened it, his hand cupping the side of your face as he pulled you impossibly closer, his lips warm and insistent, making your heart race even faster. 

When you finally pulled apart, breathless and flushed, you couldn’t help but grin at him. "I think that was just a tactic to stop me from talking."

Ollie smirked, the mischievous glint in his eyes impossible to ignore. "Maybe," he admitted, his thumb grazing your lower lip, "but it worked, didn’t it?"

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny that you were already melting under his touch. He leaned his forehead against yours, breathing you in as if you were the most precious thing in the world. 

"Seriously though," Ollie murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "I love listening to you talk. About Taylor Swift, about racing, about whatever it is that’s on your mind. You’re just so… passionate about everything, and it makes me love you even more."

The way he said it, so effortlessly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, made your heart skip a beat. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close again, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

"You’re too sweet, Ollie," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

He chuckled lightly, his arms tightening around you. "Only for you."

For a while, you both stayed like that—curled up in each other’s arms, the TV flickering in the background, the weight of the world outside fading away. You weren’t sure how long you sat there, but you didn’t care. All you knew was that this moment, with him holding you so gently, was exactly where you wanted to be.

After a while, you shifted slightly, tilting your head up to look at him again. "Okay, but I’m serious about that love triangle. You have to admit it’s pretty genius, right?"

Ollie smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before nodding. "It’s genius," he agreed, even though he barely understood half of what you were saying. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way your eyes lit up, the way your voice danced with excitement. And if listening to Taylor Swift conspiracies made you this happy, then he would listen to every single one.

"Thanks for putting up with my rambling," you said, your voice softening.

Ollie smiled, brushing his lips against yours once more. "It’s not putting up with anything. I love it, and I love you."

And with that, he kissed you again—soft, sweet, and full of love. The kind of kiss that felt like home. The kind that made you feel like no matter what you rambled about, he would always be there to listen, to smile, and to love you through it all.

---The End---

-Lots of love, Em.

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 🫖 ☕️ 🫖

Credit: @astroismypassion

🫖 Capricorn Moon native, I noticed, go not literally after older people, but those that are more ADVANCED in life than them. They go for someone who has is almost finishing high school, when they just started out. Or for someone who is already in college or going for masters, when they have started college. Later, in adulthood, these native hang with people or go for a partner that has higher salary than them, has a better positioned or better paying job.

🫖 Yes, I would agree with astrology community about Cancer Sun men being prone to go for younger women than them. But I beg to differ, this is only, if they don't have Aquarius/Capricorn influence in their Natal chart. Such as if they have Sun Uranus aspect, Capricorn IC, Capricorn/Aquarius Moon, Venus at an Aquarius/Capricorn degree or in the 10th or 11th house.

🫖 Planet Neptune in astrology in general indicates where you are likely to experience confusion, the things you are unclear about or area about which you have misconceptions. But in more simplistic astrology, to me this planet literally explains »things you don't know about«. Neptune in the 2nd house: you don't know how high of a salary you want or you don't know your values, because you haven't consciously thought about that before. Neptune in the 5th house: you don't know how your ideal date would look like. Neptune in the 7th house: you don't know which kind of committed partner you desire. Neptune in the 12th house: you don't know what to do with yourself in your alone time/when you are just by yourself. Neptune in the 1st house: you don’t know your full, real identity, personality.

🫖 Capricorn Moon/Saturn in the 4th house/Moon Saturn aspect native, I would argue even some with Aquarius Moon, Moon Uranus aspect, have really minimalistic room, with little décor, not much colour, because at home their personality was restricted or wasn’t fully allowed to be express due to parental figures often overpowering them. So as a result, their own room lacks character, personality, it can look dull or lifeless.

🫖 I noticed in real life, there is always Scorpionic influence over the Moon, in people who form and join a friend squad or form a close-knit group of friends. But then I found a famous celebrity example. In friend circle of Taylor Swift (so called Taylor’s Squad in mid-2010) all had Scorpionic Moons. Actress Hailee Steinfeld, who was part of Taylor’s Squad has Moon at 8 (Scorpio) degree, model Gigi Hadid has Moon at 20 (Scorpio) degree, model Ruby Rose has Moon trine Pluto, actress Sarah Hyland has Moon square Pluto, singer Lorde has Moon quintile Pluto.

🫖 If you have both Pisces and Aries over a relationship house, such as over the 7th house, even dating house the 5th house, but also over more emotional houses such as 4th, 8th house, but also 2nd house, you might say or think about yourself that you are a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, when in fact I noticed these natives desire a partner who will go along with whatever they suggest. So someone flexible and compromising. These people take it personally, if you don’t accept or like their suggestion, like they start questioning, if you are even “their person”, their soulmate.

🫖 No one talks about how Venus Saturn aspect/Capricorn Venus/Venus in the 10th house/Venus at a Capricorn degree (10, 22) people are really tough on themselves and daily put a lot of pressure on themselves in all areas of their life. They rarely enjoy life and just let loose before the first Saturn Return (so before the age of 30). These people don’t play about their ambition. They put in as much work as possible before the age of 30. One celebrity example singer Selena Gomez (Venus at 10 (Capricorn) degree) talked about how she took everything so seriously in her life, career and rarely took time off just for herself.

🫖 Pisces Moon/Moon Neptune aspect/Moon at a Pisces degree (12, 24), even Pisces Venus, natives actually desire a “low maintenance” partner, someone that actually doesn’t need them that much in their life. So someone who will give them a lot of space, will be independent in their own life, not needing always being together, will be okay with not answering messages right away and with occasional ghosting. But they are most often masking that wish with having high standards or being non-committal.

🫖 Libra Venus natives are overlooked for how progressive they actually are! These people truly desire an EQUAL partner on all levels (financial, physical, career, family). For example, men with this placement, might not feel treated with their partner earns more than them. They pick up household chores, cooking, cleaning at home and don’t mind it.

🫖 I always recommend people when they feel challenged by a sign, to look at the opposite sign of that particular sign for guidance, help or what to do to better themselves. For example, you feel challenged by your Aries Moon that you have in your Natal chart. Look at Libra, what you need to work on the most in order to have better quality connections with family, close friends and lovers is to become more flexible, create balance within, become more compromising, diplomatic, cooperative and a better listener. And you can do that with every personal planet position in your Natal chart.

🫖 Forget Leo Venus, they are not compliment-starved, but have you seen Pisces Moon/Pisces Venus? It’s under-rated how much these people want to be complimented, acknowledged and appreciated, their whole vibes changes, if you compliment them.

🫖 The more I look into astrology with the time that goes by, the more I realize what we already are, what we are used to is represented by our Moon sign. We grow into traits of our Sun sign in adulthood and grow more comfortable with the traits of our Rising sign after the age of 30. For example, you have Aries Moon, you already know you struggle with motivation, you might be used to not finishing projects, you are used to conflict, tension and irritation in your environment. If you have Cancer Sun, you are only now learning how to healthy express and show emotions. If you have Sagittarius Rising, you will be more open, spontaneous, travel more, educate yourself more after the age of 30.

🫖 If you struggle with purpose, meaning in your life or with making major life decisions, always work with your North Node. Look at North Node like direction or guidance. For example: you want to return to college, higher education at an older age, but you’re scared if you want to do it or not. Then you see you have Virgo/Gemini/Sagittarius North node or North Node in the 3rd/6th/9th house, Jupiter North Node aspect or North Node at Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius degree (3, 6, 9, 15, 18, 21, 27) in your Natal chart. You totally should do it, because it’s part of your life purpose shown by your North Node, NN shows what you feel your purpose in this lifetime is deep in your soul.

Credit: @astroismypassion

[insomniac4000]

I NEED MORE W2S 😩😩 YOURE SUCH A GOOD WRITERRRRRR LOVE YOU

Thank you so much! Enjoy.

Investigations Harry Lewis SMUT

She didn’t know how she avoided it for so long but it was always going to be inevitable. Her boyfriend, the one and only Harry Lewis known to millions as W2S was obsessed with plane crashes. He owned the box set of Air Crash Investigations and tonight was the night she had finally promised she would indulge him.

“What do you like about it? Like why do you love it so much?” She asked as she watched him grill their steaks, it was one of the few things she would allow him to cook.

“It’s just interesting,” Harry shrugged as he clasped the tongs together, his girlfriend couldn’t help but look at his forearms which flexed as he did so.

“Is it just not a bit dark?” She wouldn’t have called herself stupid but she really wasn’t a big documentary person, full of death and destruction. She was much more of an upbeat person, she would watch the odd comedy and scroll Tiktok mindlessly for hours and hours. She was also much more of an outdoors person, it was one of the reasons why they got on so well, Harry could go on all the hikes he liked and she liked nature, running and laughing. Sitting in and watching big machines crash wasn’t her style whatsoever but she was willing to suffer for a little while for her man, hoping he’d return the favour soon at a Taylor Swift concert.

“I guess I don’t think of it that way. It’s cool to think what goes into keeping an aeroplane up in the sky and what happens when it goes wrong. We think nothing of going on a plane but so much needs to happen, it’s cool,” Harry explained. The girl couldn’t help but smile as he spoke about it, it was always really clear to see when Harry was excited about something he was talking about because of how animated he got when he talked. For all of his faults, the best thing about Harry was how much he loved life and put his enjoyment over anything else.

“Sometimes I’d really love to get into that weird little head of yours,” she replied jumping off the stool and walking over to the cupboard, bringing out two wine glasses.

“It’s not weird! I just appreciate the engineering,” Harry responded a little defensively. He opened the oven door dodging the plume of steam that was coming out from it.

“Burnt the chips?” She asked smiling as she poured two glasses of red.

“No its fine,” Harry responded placing the baking tray on top of the hob, careful to not hit the steaks which were sizzling in one pan and mushrooms which were in another. Again she watched him well more so how his biceps tensed as he picked up the pans with ease.

He poked the steak like it owed him money. “Medium-rare, yeah?”

“I said medium.”

“Well, you’re getting whatever this ends up being,” he replied, plating it with flourish like a Michelin-star chef and handing it over with a proud grin, placing it down on the glass table as she placed down the drinks.

“It’s actually good.”

His face lit up like he’d just packed an Icon in FIFA. “Wait, really?”

“I’m not even lying to make you feel better. It’s got flavour, it’s juicy, and you didn’t poison me.”

He leaned back, smug. “Told you.” He placed his arms behind his head, his biceps building out of his T-shirt.

They ate in companionable quiet for a while, while she tried to keep her thoughts to herself.

When the plates were cleared—Harry insisted on doing it himself they then migrated to the sofa.

“Right,” he said, grabbing the remote. “You know what time it is.”

She groaned. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He clicked play, ignoring her. Air Crash Investigators flickered onto the screen with dramatic music and the solemn voice of a narrator talking about hydraulic failure and tragic descent.

She curled into his side. “You’re the only person I know who finds this show relaxing. It’s literally about planes crashing.”

“I told you It’s fascinating!” he exclaimed.

“You’re so weird.” Still, she watched for a few minutes, mostly because she liked watching him watching it. He was completely captivated, eyes glued to the screen, arms wrapped loosely around her shoulders, occasionally muttering things like “Ohhh, they messed up their approach vector” like he’d flown the plane himself. Actually she did wonder why he never tried to get his pilot’s licence, it wasn’t like money would be a barrier.

After twenty minutes of cabin alarms and simulated disasters, she shifted closer to him, her hand moving up slightly from round his waist up to his chest. He didn’t notice.

She leaned her head against his neck and whispered, “Wouldn’t you rather do something more fun?”

“Like what?” he said distractedly, as two animated planes collided on the screen.

She slowly kissed his jaw, letting her lips linger just long enough to pull his attention sideways. “Like me.”

“I thought you wanted to watch this?” He responded, absolutely oblivious to what his girlfriend was getting at.

She swung one leg over his lap, now fully straddling him. “Besides, there’s nothing we can do to fix it now, Captain.”

She kissed him properly then, soft and slow, and he gave in immediately—hands sliding to her waist, forgetting all about the flashed coming up on the screen, the sound of crunching metal was merely white noise in his head now. They kissed for a little while, her slightly clamping down on Harry’s bottom lip causing him to grunt slightly, she smiled knowing she had him right where she wanted him.

“So captain, time to lower the tray table?” She said breathless as Harry peppered her neck with kisses. She wasted no time and tugged down at his jogging  bottoms, he let them fall and quickly removed her top, he smiled with glee on realising she hadn’t been wearing a bra all this time. He attacked her breasts, kissing them for a little while before taking one in his mouth and licking and lightly sucking the nipples.

“Fuck Harry,”

“I thought I was the captain,” Harry murmured as his hands slid down her waist, he tugged at her trousers and pants pulling them both off in one go, she barely had time to pull off Harry’s shirt before his hands moved down towards her clit, stimulating it a little as he pushed her down onto the sofa.

“You’ve been waiting for this all day haven’t you? Judging how fucking wet you are for me,” Harry said roughly as he teased his fingers in and around her hole feeling the damp already.

“Please,” she responsed, she loved but HATED it when he teased her like this.

“Say it,” he whisper-demanded.

“Fuck me,” She whispered dangerously close to starting herself off first if he didn’t do as she asked.

“My pleasure,” he responded slamming his penis into her so hard she gasped, but it was something she was used to. The TV was still playing but long forgotten as he pounded into her filling her up completely, she always loved the way Harry felt inside her and he too loved the feeling of her around him.

It was rough, like two animals who just couldn’t control themselves, no talking just some eye contact between grunts. One of those sex sessions which was purely for the enjoyment of fucking and not intimacy. She almost couldn’t take it, if it was anyone else he wouldn’t have been this rough, this fats but he knew she could take it.

“So good at taking all of me,” he finally broke the silence, whispering inbetween grunts, she could only nod as she felt the familiar feeling growing deep inside her.

“Soon…” she managed to whisper.

“No. You wanted this you put the work in,” he smiled devilishly sitting up while somewhere with a strong arm pulling her up with him by the waist so she was on his lap straddling him again.

“Go on, ride it,” he commanded. She gently lowered herself onto him as he held his solid dick in place initially and she started to rock her hips and bob up and down.

“Fuck,” Harry groaned rolling his head back a little. She moved quicker knowing it wouldn’t be long until Harry would finished, he never lasted long when they were in this position. She pounded own hard watching his face intently as he screwed it up slightly. Knowing the end was there she let herself go, bouncing up twice more allowing him to climax.

As they both caught their breath she couldn’t help but giggle a little as she said smugly, with him still inside her.

“Much better than a bloody plane crash.” He pushed her off him jokingly.

[vanteguccir]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤGUESS WHO'S WHO * CHRIS STURNIOLO

SUMMARY　::　where Y/N participates in the new Sturniolo Triplets tiktok, but doesn't actually appear in it.

FEATURING　Chris Sturniolo x reader　REQUESTED?　no.

WARNINGS　::　none.

AUTHOR'S NOTE　::　that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Y/N closed the door to her shared room with Chris, heading up the stairs as she hummed a Taylor Swift song under her breath, her eyes focused on the screen of the phone in her hands, where Twitter was open and she was reading the new Grammy's gossip.

The first thing the girl noticed when she arrived in the kitchen was the triplets all together, their backs to her and looking at the counter while laughing.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, putting down her phone while locking the screen, putting it in her pocket, and focusing her attention on the three brothers.

Chris turned around quickly, having been startled by the sudden appearance of his girlfriend, placing his right hand on his own chest while calming his breathing.

"Hi Y/N!" Matt smiled, waving his left hand in a quick wave.

"Hi Matty." She replied with a soft smile, moving closer to the three and looking at the counter, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw several of the triplets' things scattered around the space. "What are you doing?" Y/N asked again, leaning her right shoulder against Chris's chest as she felt his left arm surround her, bringing her close.

"It's for a tiktok, it's a little game where the fans will have to guess what belongs to who." Nick explained, holding his phone with both hands in the air, the rear camera facing the table, ready to take a picture of the first items.

"But there are things of mine in there." Y/N commented, seeing some of her beauty items among the others.

"Yes, that's because Chris carries your stuff everywhere." Matt said with a shrug. "That part of the products are things that we carry in our backpack or in our pants pocket."

A sound of understanding left the girl's mouth as she snuggled closer against Chris, watching Nick take pictures of all the items separately.

It was true that Chris took a lot of her things with him, even if Y/N already stated that he didn't need to do it, it was the boy's habit since it had previously occurred to her that she needed something and felt frustrated for not having it with her at the moment. With that, Chris made it his little mission to always buy two of the girl's essential items and carry one of each with him too, either in his backpack or, depending on the size, in the pocket of his sweatpants or jeans.

Furthermore, Y/N's have also an habit to stick stickers on everything she owned (toiletry and make-up bag, purse, phone or tablet case, etc.), and after her relationship with Chris became something more serious and intimate over a year ago, the girl started sticking stickers on his things too.

It was something that amused her and that the boy loved, he said that when they weren't together, he just needed to look at his wallet or his laptop and he would see a little piece of her with him.

Y/N smiled warmly when she saw each of these things in each picture that was taken:

The first one with the laptops, in the middle of all the colorful stickers there was a teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck;

In the second, the wallets one, Chris's was decorated by the Prada brand and by an small sticker of a striped heart on the upper left;

In the third one, with the jewelry was a hair tie in the color of Y/N's hair;

In the fourth, the backpacks one, Chris's also had a pearlescent keychain hanging with a baby pink tube of hand sanitizer;

In the sixth one with the headphones, Chris's only had one little letter in pink, the initial of Y/N's name;

In the seventh, the care products one, in the middle of Chris's products was a lip gloss from Rhode and a small tube of hand cream from Sol de Janeiro.

Of course, if the girl were to look for her everyday bag right now, she would have a million of Chris's things too, since he was a guy who liked self-care. It was something personal for them, a way of taking care of each other and always carrying a little piece of their lover.

Chris lowered his head slightly, sniffing the scent of fresh shampoo from Y/N's hair before sealing his lips over the top of her head for a few seconds, hiding his smile as he noticed all the little parts of his girl among his things.

The boy shook his head slightly, the comments on that tiktok would go crazy, and he was all for it.

"Now, who's hungry?" The girl asked after Nick took the last picture, smiling when she heard the oldest shout that he was and Matt smiled, nodding his head while saying that he was too.

"Can you make mac and cheese in that way that I really like? Pretty please?" Chris asked, turning her so she was facing him and smiling big.

She nodded while laughing lowly, rising on her tiptoes and kissing Chris's lips quickly before walking over to the fridge, grabbing all the items to make the dinner requested.

A smile spread across her face when she turned around again and saw the triplets glued to each other, smiling as they looked at Nick's phone screen, probably reviewing the pictures he took.

She shook her head in amusement, placing the items in the sink before fishing her phone out of her pocket and taking a quick picture of the three, making a mental note to send it to Nick later, already knowing that it would probably be in the next photo dump.

extra - comments:

"the fact that the tiktok was about guessing what belongs to who but it was obvious what was Chris's because of the little Y/N things he has in the middle of his own 😭"

"THIS IS SO CUTE OMG"

"the hair tie 😫"

"you know Y/N has good taste when she uses SOL DE JANEIRO hand cream"

"Y/N the biggest clean girl on this site"

"the teddy bear sticker 🥺"

"I'm sure there must be a picture of Y/N inside Chris's wallet"

~ "petition for Chris to make that trend "picture in my wallet" ✏️📄"

© vanteguccir

[requiemforthepoets]

this is me trying 𖦹 OP81

PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader

SUMMARY: growing up, the only thing you know is that you need to be strong, provide, and take care of your sister. but being with oscar, it was different, he made you feel things—that it’s okay to not be fine, vulnerable, and to be taken care of.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i have this fic finished the other day but i was debating on whether to post it or not, but here we are. it’s been a while too since i last wrote for oscar, and this is like a comfort (?) fic idk lol. also, can i just say that LANDO ON POLE FOR THE SG GP!!! 😭🧡 ok, i hope you guys will have fun reading this one. enjoy! :)

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WORD COUNT: 3.6k

WARNINGS: not proofread, typos, eldest daughter syndrome, no use of y/n, cursing, unnamed sister, named friend, and parents death

You were sitting in the living room, surrounded by case files and legal books, trying your best to prepare for the court trial that you’ll be doing soon, but your mind was elsewhere. You can't focus on the work that you’re working on in front of you, no matter how hard you try. Your phone buzzed, and you almost didn’t answer, thinking it’s just another work call, but when you saw Blaire, your friend’s name, flash on the screen you quickly picked up, expecting a casual chat.

“Hey, Blaire, how are you?” You greeted her, trying to mask your exhaustion.

Her voice on the other end was hesitant, not the usual warm tone that you’re used to. “Hey…I really hate to bring this up, but I was wondering when you would be able to repay the five thousand dollars?”

Your stomach dropped. “Repay?” You repeated, utterly confused. “What do you mean five thousand dollars?”

The conversation between you and Blaire unraveled quickly. She explained how she had lent the money to your sister out of need, thinking it was for you or with your approval. Rage bubbled in your chest, your pulse quickened, at this point all you can see is red. You thanked her hastily, barely able to end the call before fury overtook you. Without thinking, you dialed your sister’s number, the beeps echoing in your ear like a countdown to an explosion.

“Hello?” Her voice was casual, completely unaware of the storm coming her way.

“What the actual fuck did you do?!” You yelled, not caring if it was late at night. “You borrowed five fucking thousand dollars from Blaire without asking me!? How could you?!”

There was a pause, a brief moment where you could almost feel her shrug through the phone. “Oh my god, can you relax? It’s not like you can't afford it. It’s not that big of a deal, you can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making, it’s barely a scratch on your bank account!” You couldn’t believe what you were actually hearing.

“Not a big deal? Did you spend the money already? Do you have any fucking idea how humiliating it is for me that you did this without even consulting me? You think just because I make good money, I’ll fix every mess you create?” You were seething.

“Well, yeah,” she responded with a laugh, clearly not grasping the gravity of the situation. “You’re my older sister. Isn’t it your job to take care of me, right?”

Your grip on your phone tightened. “I’ve been taking care of you your whole life! I’m working myself to the bone just to make sure you have everything you need, sending you to that fancy school that you’ve always wanted so you can have a better future, and this is how you repay me? By lying and stealing?”

The silence on the other end of the line felt heavy, but your anger has not subsided. She mumbled something that sounded like a half assed apology, but it was already too late for that. You immediately hung up and slammed the phone down on the table, heart racing, pulse pounding in your ears. Anger still swirling inside you like a storm, the words of your sister still echoing in your mind. You can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making. Her carelessness, lack of respect—it hit harder than anything you had experienced before. It wasn’t about the money, you could handle the five thousand dollars easily, but the way she completely dismissed your hard work, as if it was nothing, as if your sacrifice and years of struggle meant nothing—that was what burned deep. It hurts like fucking hell.

You sat down there on the couch, trying to calm yourself down, tears started to prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back. You didn’t cry. You cannot cry. You have always been strong your whole life—the provider, carer, and protector. That’s who you were. No one had ever taken care of you, not since your parents passed away when you were fifteen and your sister is only ten. It has always been you, alone, against the world, and now, it felt like even your sister was against you.

You didn’t hear Oscar enter the living room until his voice, soft but firm, broke through the silence. “Hey, I heard you from our room. Are you okay?”

You swallowed hard, your body automatically stiffening instinctively and continued browsing through your documents like nothing happened.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry,” you lied, though the quiver in your voice betrayed you.

Oscar walked over and sat down beside you on the couch, his hand gently resting on your shoulder. “You don’t always have to be fine,” he said quietly. “Tell me, what happened?”

You exhaled sharply, your hands trembling as you ran them through your hair. “It’s my sister,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. “She borrowed money from Blaire. Five thousand dollars. Without even telling me. Now, she’s acting like it’s my job to fix it.”

“Five thousand? That’s a lot.” Oscar frowned, his brows knitting in concern.

“I know,” you said, “she doesn’t even care. She just assumes I’ll take care of it, like I always do every time she gets into stupid situations. She thinks just because I earn good money, I’m supposed to fix everything.” Your voice cracked, and before you could stop it, the tears you had been holding back for so long finally broke free. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Oscar. I’m always the one fixing things, I’m always the one who has to be strong.”

Oscar didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes filled with understanding. Then, without a word, he pulled you into his arms. You tensed at first, still not used to being vulnerable, but Oscar’s embrace was warm, grounding. Slowly, your body relaxed into his, and the weight of the world seemed to lift just a little as you rested your head against his chest.

“It’s not fair,” you whispered to him. “I’ve always had to be the strong one. I’m tired, Oscar. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

His hand gently stroked your back, his voice soft and reassuring. “I know. It’s okay to be tired. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Not with me.”

You pulled back slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his face, “I just don’t know how to let anyone help me,” you admitted, voice barely audible. “I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t know how to not be the one in control.”

“I get that. But you don’t have to do it all alone anymore. I’m here. Let me be strong for you, too.” Oscar smiled gently, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The idea of letting someone else carry even a fraction of the weight feels completely foreign to you. But as you looked at Oscar, his eyes full of sincerity, something inside you shifted. Maybe, it’s time you let it all fall down, you didn’t have to carry everything on your shoulders all the time.

“What am I supposed to do about her?” You asked, your voice small but steady now.

Oscar sighed softly, thinking for a moment. “You have all the right to be angry and upset. Your feelings are valid,” he said. “She needs to learn that actions have consequences. But at the same time, she’s your sister. She’s young, and sometimes young people tend to make mistakes. You’ve been doing everything for so long that she probably hasn’t learned how to take responsibility for herself yet.”

You nodded, wiping your eyes. “Yeah, maybe. But I can’t just let her think she can keep doing this.”

“No,” he agreed. “But you also don’t have to do this alone. We can figure it out together.”

You looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone. Maybe you didn’t always have to be the strong one, the provider, the protector. With Oscar by your side, you could learn how to let someone else carry the weight with you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning into him once more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Oscar smiled, pressing a soft tender kiss to your forehead. “You’ll never have to find out, I’m not going anywhere, my love.”

The next morning, you stared at the screen of your laptop, fingers moving quickly over the keys as you finished drafting the contract. The legal jargon was familiar, comforting even, but the fact that you had to use it against your own sister left a bitter taste in your mouth. The contract was firm, direct, and laid out the consequences clearly: five thousand dollars, to be repaid in installments, with interest and penalties if the deadline is missed. You hated doing it—your heart never felt so heavy—but you knew it was necessary. You had been too lenient for far too long, if she didn’t learn this now, she might never understand the true value of money and the responsibility that came with it. It was time for her to learn the hard truths you had known your entire life.

Oscar was sitting across the table, sipping his coffee, watching you in silence. “You’ve finished it?” He asked gently. You had told him last night that you need to straighten everything out, and told him your plan, in which he quickly supported you.

You nodded, eyes scanning the contract one last time before saving it. “Yeah. She’s not going to like it, but this has to be done.” You sighed, “I’ve been too lenient, too forgiving. I can’t keep cleaning up after her messes.”

“You’re doing the right thing.” He said as he reached over, placing his hand over yours. “It’s tough, but you’re teaching her a lesson she won’t forget.”

“I hope so,” you sighed, glancing out the window, the weight of responsibility pressing down on you once more. “I’ve never been one to ask for anything back, but she needs to learn that she can’t just treat me like this. I want her to be successful, but she can’t rely on me forever.”

Later that day, you booked a flight for her to Monaco, and notified her about the flight schedule. She was studying in Switzerland, and it would be a four hour flight from Switzerland to Monaco. It was time to have this conversation face-to-face. You couldn’t keep allowing her to avoid responsibility just because you were miles apart. This is a conversation that is long overdue.

A couple of days later, she arrived at your and Oscar’s shared apartment. She seemed different—more subdued, perhaps. You could tell the weight of your anger still lingered in her mind. She greeted you cautiously, her eyes flickering to Oscar, who stood nearby, his presence calm but protective.

“Sit down,” you said, pointing to the couch.

She looked at you, clearly trying to gauge your mood, but she did as she was told. You sat across from her, with Oscar by your side, and the freshly printed contract lying on the table between you. The tension in the living room was thick.

“I had already settled your debt with Blaire,” you began, your voice calm but firm. “But this conversation is not just about the money. It’s about respect, about responsibility.”

“I said I was sorry.” She crossed her arms, trying to play it cool.

“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” you snapped, your patience was already running thin, barely hanging on by a thread. “I have been providing for you because I want nothing but the best for you. But what you did was careless, and you disrespected everything I’ve done for you. You didn’t even ask me before borrowing that money, and then you just blatantly assumed I would handle it. You do this every time to me, you always get me into awkward and humiliating situations.”

She bit her lip, her attitude wavering. “I know, but you make so much—”

“That’s not the point!” You cut her off, about to lose your cool but Oscar had managed to calm you down by softly caressing your back. “Yes, I make good amount of money, but that money just doesn’t magically appear. I have worked hard, harder than you can imagine, to get to where I am. Do you want to know what’s worse? What’s worse is that you’re not even thinking about how hard it is to earn that money, how I burn myself off everyday. So I’m making you earn it back.” You slid the contract towards her.

“What’s this?” She looked down at it, then back at you, looking all confused.

“It’s an agreement,” you said. “I’ve decided to give you the five thousand dollars. Consider what you bought from that money as a gift, because I know you’ve been doing well in school, and it’s been a while since I’ve given you anything. But this will never happen again. You owe me that money, and you're going to pay it back. Every cent of it, with interest.” Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to protest, but you cut her off before she could even speak.

“This is not negotiable. I’m still going to support you, I’m still going to pay for your tuition, but you need to learn how hard it is to earn this kind of money. You’re going to work for it, and I'll expect proof—payslips, records—everything. If you miss a payment, there will be penalties added, and if you refuse or try to make a fool out of me, I’m not afraid to take legal action.”

“You’d sue me? Your own sister?” She stared at you in disbelief.

“Yes, I would,” you said coldly. “I don’t want to, but you’ve left me with no choice. You are already eighteen and will turn nineteen in two months, you are already capable of knowing what’s right and wrong. You need to understand that I’m not going to bail you out every time you mess up, this is your responsibility now.”

For a long moment, she didn’t say anything. Her face was a mix of shock and anger, but you could tell the gravity of the situation was already starting to sink in.

“I’m not trying to be harsh,” you said softly, leaning forward. “But I’ve been in your shoes, and I know firsthand how hard life can be. I have shielded you from that, and maybe that was my mistake. But if you’re going to succeed in this world, you need to understand that nothing is free, nothing in life is free. Everything comes with a cost.”

Oscar then leaned forward, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “Look, we’re not doing this to hurt you,” he added, tone gentle but firm. “But this is a wake-up call. You need to understand how your sister has worked so hard, and how important it is that you start contributing. No one’s saying you have to do it alone, but you have to start doing something.”

Your sister’s eyes shifted between the two of you, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of guilt in her expression. She glanced back down at the contract, and you handed her a pen.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll do it. I’ll pay you back.” Her attitude and defiance slowly faded from her face.

“Good.” You nodded, “then sign it.”

She hesitated for only a moment before scribbling her signature across the bottom of the contract. You felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness, knowing you had to be this tough, but also hoping it would be the turning point she needed.

“You can stay with us while you’re in Monaco,” you told her, “but I expect you to find a job as soon as possible. If you fail to keep up with your end of the deal, there will be consequences. Understood?”

“Understood.” She nodded, though her expression was still a mix of resentment and defeat.

You exhaled, feeling a small sense of relief wash over you. This wasn’t easy, and you hated having to be this strict with her, but it had to be done. Oscar wrapped his arm around you, his touch grounding as soon as you watched your sister head towards the guest room.

“You did the right thing,” he said quietly.

“I hope so,” you whispered, leaning into him. “I just want her to grow up.”

“Don’t worry, she will.” Oscar assured you, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head. “With you as her sister, she doesn’t have much of a choice,”

Later that evening, the apartment finally fell quiet, dinner was definitely awkward and quiet, but with your sister already tucked away in the guest room, the weight of everything you had said and done began to settle in. You were sitting at the edge of the bed, heart heavy and mind replaying what had happened earlier over and over. The way your sister had looked at you—hurt and angry��it cut deeper that you were willing to admit.

You had always been strong, but this strength had come with a cost. Now, sitting in the stillness of the night, the reality of your actions hit you like a tidal wave. It wasn’t just the contract or the money, it was the fear—the fear that in trying to teach her a lesson, you might have pushed her too far. That in being the disciplinarian, you had damaged something that might never fully recover or heal.

Oscar entered the room quietly, sensing the shift in your mood. He sat beside you, his presence had always been comforting, but it wasn’t enough to stop the flood of emotions you had been holding back.

“Was I too harsh, Osc?” You whispered, voice barely audible.

He frowned slightly, tilting his head to look at you. “No, you weren’t. She needed to hear all of it.”

“I know,” you replied, voice trembling. “But what if I lose her because of this? What if she hates me for it?”

You felt your tears welling up again, but this time you couldn’t stop them anymore. They spilled down your cheeks, unchecked, as you finally let go of the tension and frustration you had been carrying.

“I’m not being harsh to punish her, I just want her to understand how hard life is, how much I’ve sacrificed. But what if all she sees is me being cruel?”

Oscar pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you as you broke down. You rested your head on his chest, sobs coming in waves, guilt and fear crashing over you. You had always been strong for so long—too long—and now, it felt like everything was unraveling.

“She’s my baby sister,” you choked out between sobs. “I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want her to think I’m just some heartless person who only cares about money.”

Oscad held you tighter, his voice calm and steady as he spoke. “She won’t hate you. Not forever. She’s upset now, sure. But she’s young, and right now, she probably doesn’t understand why you’re doing this. But she will, trust me. One day, she’ll look back at it and realize that you did this because you love her.”

You shook your head, your chest tightening with the weight of your emotions. “I feel like I’m always the one who has to be the bad guy. I never get to be the one who’s just there for her, to support her without judgment.”

Oscar stroked your hair gently, his voice soothing. “You’ve done more for her than anyone else ever could. You’ve given her everything. You’re not the bad guy, you’re her protector, even when it means being tough on her. Yeah, maybe this will cause a rift for now, but it won’t last. She’ll come around, she’ll see that you’re doing this because you care.”

You pulled away slightly, wiping at your tear-streaked face. “What if she doesn’t?”

“She will,” Oscar said firmly. “But even if it takes time, you can’t keep beating yourself up for doing what’s right. You’re teaching her a lesson that no one else will. You’re giving her the tools to grow up, to be responsible. Sometimes, that means being tough. That’s tough love.”

You nodded, but the guilt still gnawed at you. “I just wish I didn’t have to be this person all the time. The one who fixes things, who keeps everyone in line.”

“I know. But you’re not doing this alone anymore, okay? I’m here. Whenever it feels like it’s too much, rest on me. You can always rest on me.”

You leaned into him again, his warmth easing the ache that you’re feeling inside of you. “I just hope she understands someday,” you whispered.

“She will,” Oscar said softly, kissing the top of your head. “And until then, you’ve done what you needed to do. You’ve set her on the right path, and that’s what matters.”

As the tears slowly subsided, you felt a flicker of hope, knowing that even though this was hard, it was necessary. Even if your sister doesn't see it now, you could only hope that one day, she would understand that everything you did was out of love.

The weight on your shoulders became a little lighter, knowing that Oscar was right. Even if it took time, even if there were still battles to fight, you knew you weren’t facing them alone anymore, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to breathe. You had done what needed to be done. Now it was up to your sister to follow through.