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stusbunker · 3 years

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BGDC: Stay Down

A Supernatural Fan-fiction Mini-series

Featuring: Female Hunter!Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Chuck and Jack

Written for: @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Bingo

Summary: Everything comes to a head. Can she do better this time? Is there anything worth salvaging? Chuck has his own thoughts.

Square filled: In Vino Veritas

Word Count: 2615

Warnings: THIS HURTS, Flashbacks in italics, canon-ish, verbal arguments, that pesky motherfucker HOPE, Chuck is still a dick.

Series Masterlist

Inherit the Earth con’t

It had taken Sam two weeks to get out of Dean what happened, why she left. It was not his proudest moment, but the thought of her in their home made him sick. So, he had shown her the door. He thought he was her hero, he’d never imagined she’d treat him like a piece of meat.

There were some lines that you shouldn’t cross and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to forgive her that.

The drive to Sam and Jack feels like an eternity, even ignoring all traffic laws. The day is bright, but the impala rumbles garishly, a black omen. The static hiss of unmanned radio stations gives her something to do. She diligently sorts the tapes, finds something to fill the void.

Melody as white noise. A band aid on a bullet wound. Dean can’t fix what’s been broken. But she never even tried.

Sam cries at the sight of her. She runs into his arms and he squeezes until he can’t any longer. An ounce of redemption in the ocean of guilt. Sam glances over her head to his brother, he feels the other shoe drop.

“Where’s Cas?” Jack’s obvious question echoes the shame in the new arrivals’ eyes. She holds her breath as Dean explains, like she’s waiting for his story before she can move on. Like he didn’t tell her either.

Sam aches with what he’s allowed to happen. The old internal rage gnashing at his gut as he screams in an abandoned restaurant. They’re what was left behind. All they have left to do is give Chuck what he wants.

His ending, at last.

Dean didn’t tell her what he and Sam were doing. Didn’t need an outside opinion on this one. Instead he asked her to keep an eye on Jack, knowing she’d say yes. He guessed he wasn’t done asking for things. The sight of Chuck makes him see red. But this was it, he’d die with his brother beside him. For the world.

When Chuck blows off their offer, he can’t say that he’s surprised. Disgusted, angry, regretful maybe, but Dean’s not surprised.

The house always wins.

They crash at a motel for the night, everyone gets their own rooms for a change. She knocks on his door just after midnight with a bottled peace offering and her ratty sleep clothes. Dean doesn’t need this right now, but he doesn’t have the energy to be cruel.

“Where’d you get this?” Dean holds the amber liquid up to the light to read the label.

“Liquor store down the street. Don’t even feel bad for taking the five finger discount anymore,” she sighs and drops on the spare bed. “You gonna tell me about your little side mission or do I just get to guess at the outcome?”

Dean cracks the bottle open and sighs. “Bupkis. So, nothing to tell, really.”

She’s watching him for signs of lies, at least she’s not overtly antagonistic with her appraisal.

He offers her the bottle and she shakes her head. ‘Maybe she learned her lesson,’ he thinks and then takes a long pull off the glass rim.

“So, the Empty, huh?” Dean grimaces as she closes her eyes, taken aback.

“What makes you think I want to talk about it?” Her faces pinches and he is just too fucking tired.

“Because you always want to talk about it. It was kind of a thing.” Dean shrugs.

“I came to check on you, dumbass,” she mutters. He sits on his bed, leaves the bottle between them on the nightstand.

He doesn’t stop the sour hum that claws up his throat. He was trying to play nice, but she just had to keep on being the tough guy. “Funny, didn’t think you cared much what happened to me anymore, or how I feel about things at least.”

She has the gall to look surprised, but underneath it he sees she’s almost as tired as he is. “I did not come here looking for a fight. If you’ve got something to say to me--- Maybe you should remember who called who. And who dropped everything to help.”

“And I don’t seem to remember you doing too much of that,” Dean snaps back, turning his head only.

She pauses and Dean feels a little smug that he’s getting to her. But not nearly as much as he should. He cocks his eyebrows, waiting for her obvious answer.

She shoves him back on his proverbial heels instead. “We both know you were just keeping tabs on me. There wasn’t anything for me to do. And then I became a fucking bargaining chip. So screw you, Dean. I’m not here for a performance review.”

“I think we already established, no one is screwing anyone here,” Dean mutters, letting his head fall back against the wall.

“Is that what this is about?! You are honestly bringing that shit up now?!”

“So what if I am? Better than acting like it never happened. Playing the fucking martyr,” Dean bites back. “I, at least, own my shit. Maybe you should try it some time.”

“You kicked me out! What was I supposed to do, wait on a damn cross until you finished your case?!” She still doesn’t get it. Dean’s chest is writhing with all the things they never buried.

“It doesn’t matter. We were family. And you threw it all away,” Dean lays it out.

“ME?!”

“Yes, you!” Dean’s standing, hunching over her, unleashing. “You had to make it about your feelings and the crush you had on me when we were kids. Don’t you see? It was more than that. We WERE more than that. But you were lonely, or horny or needed to drown your feelings. And you cheapened everything. And now---- we can’t even have a real conversation.”

It’s like he’s looking at a completely different person. He doesn’t even know her anymore.

“Dean, I---” He cuts her off, this was entirely pointless.

“Don’t, okay? Just--- leave it. I’m gonna get some air.” Dean starts towards the door and slumps, half turned he continues, “Look, I’m glad you didn’t get stuck in the Empty. But Cas did---- And to be clear, this wasn’t ever about rebuilding bridges, it was about stopping Chuck. And we couldn’t manage that.--- But we can’t just go back to the way things were just because we’re all that’s left. The sooner you understand that, the easier this will be--- for everybody.”

The heaviness of wasted effort sinks into his shoulders. Dean closes the door behind him with a gentle click. They both know she’ll be gone before he gets back.

No one left in the entire world and one of my oldest friends still doesn’t want me around. This wasn’t humble pie, it was a goddamn humility infused vat of pie filling. Not a spoon in sight.

Fuck him. Fucking pie metaphors even. Fucking brain.

I leave the damn whiskey, but I really want to throw it against the wall. Dump it in his boots. Bath in it. But I don’t. I give him his twenty paces and I duck out, bypass my room, Jack’s, and head back towards the liquor store. There was a pick-up I might be able to hot wire, if I remember where I saw it.

I mash my lips together to stop their quake, but everything keeps clawing its way up, centering itself in my way. I did this. The one person I needed to believe in me and I fucking ruined it. It was never about Amara, or Cas or him being too good for me. I just wanted what wasn’t there.

The dirtiness slides down and clings to me, like a wet coat. An unwashable stain, that’s all my presence is anymore. I don’t want to be where I am unwanted, unneeded, unuseful. Well, useless really. But, I can’t lose Sam too. Not again and definitely not now. I stop when I spot the truck.

Running isn’t going to mend what running severed.

Know better, do better.

I creep back to the motel and pretend to sleep. There are salt lines dried across my skin when Jack knocks on my door.

The sun still rises. Dean tosses his things in his bag, even the whiskey. Waste not want not. They’re heading home to regroup or to hide or just for something to do. He doesn’t care, but being out in the open feels like he’s leaving them open for an ambush, or Chuck’s prying eyes at the very least.

He knows they’re not safe from that anywhere. It just feels safer somehow.

Dean feels good in motion. Sam’s at his side, while she and Jack sit in their own quiet corners in the back. The looming reality of an empty planet unnoticeable on the backroads. Denial is a helluva drug.

So is hope. Good thing he kicked that one.

When they pull into the garage, he doesn’t even bother grabbing his duffel from the trunk. Dean bee lines for the hard stuff and no one even bats an eye.

Maybe he has always been that predictable. Maybe he no longer cares.

I’m sitting on my bed, flipping through an old photo album when Sam finds me. It’s been three days and the bunker just keeps getting hollower the longer we stay inside. It’s like Chuck is slowly strangling the oxygen from the air.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be the first one to break.

Dean’s too far into a pity party at the bottom of a bottle to be pushed off any one edge and Sam’s too good at keeping on. Of course, Jack is getting by on sheer purity of spirit.

“How you holding up?” Sam’s voice is scratchy, but familiar, I don’t know the last time we actually spoke. I don’t really make eye contact, but shrug all the same.

“You?” I ask, unnecessarily.

He sits down beside me, looking over my shoulder. He huffs out a laugh at one of the pictures.

“I can’t believe you managed to keep all of these,” Sam says as he reaches over and slides his finger tips over the poorly taped Polaroids.

“They were at Bobby’s for a while, but I dug them out of a storage unit after--- well, after I fucked things up with your brother. Figured they were all I had left after that.”

Sam inhales at my bluntness, cocks his head because it hurts to hear, but also doesn’t sit right. What a doof.

“Spit it out, Legs, I know you wanna say something,” I goad.

“I guess I don’t really--- what happened?” Sam’s eternal need to know things going for my weak spot. “I mean, Dean said you tried to put the moves on him, but I guess, why was it so horrible?”

“Well, I actually have some new information on that front,” I offer, turning to face him and placing the memories on the far side of the bed.

Sam’s brows pitch.

“Apparently, I--- cheapened everything. Dean thought whatever our relationship was, was more important than hooking up. And I made it all about me.”

“He said that?” Sam asks in a hush.

“Yup,” I huff out. “And a very firm, ‘there is no rebuilding bridges’,” I say in my best/worst Dean voice.

“Wow.” Sam looks to the ceiling then scratches the back of his head. He doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay, I mean, I did kiss him. I knew it was a bad idea, but I had psyched myself up that entire night, misread everything. I’ve never been the one guys willingly go home with. I shouldn’t have forced it.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve had---,” Sam breaks off when he thinks about my asshole ex.

“I’ve had a couple of real winners,” I finish for him. “But it’s okay. Because now we’re the last people on Earth. No one left to break my heart.”

I slap the edge of the mattress and lurch to my feet, ignoring the pain in Sam’s eyes. He just lost Eileen and here I am moping about something that happened over two years ago. Once a shitty friend, always a shitty friend.

“You can keep looking through that if you want. I’m gonna start dinner,” I add at the door.

Sam nods, but he doesn’t reach for the album. He just sits on my bed and chews the inside of his lips.

Jack’s feeling things and Sam’s looking at Dean with insistence, but Dean’s hungover-leeched brain is not putting things together.

“What?!”

Sam grimaces, heavy on the bitch factor. “I think you should be the one to tell her we’ve got a lead. Meanwhile, I’ll start packing the car.”

“Great. Sure.” Dean does little to hide his disdain. Sam doesn’t budge.

He grunts through an explanation as she cleans her gun. Luckily, she doesn’t ask too many questions because the vibrations of his own voice are adding to the throbbing at the base of his skull.

She slips him a bottle of painkillers before ducking into the back seat next to Jack. He doesn’t say thank you, but he knows she knows he’s grateful. They used to be able to do that, not as easily as he and Sam, but silent communication was possible, once.

He gets them on the road before noon, the familiar feel of the wheel in his hands steadies Dean until the pain starts to subside. The soft, yet urgent Jack-P-S guiding their way.

They stop for an inevitable pitstop and Dean gets hit with a pure dose of that damning hope. A white, shaggy dog is laying outside the men’s room and his face breaks into a smile for the first time in weeks. It’s the proof he needed aside from Jack’s fuzzy radar.

Chuck didn’t get everything.

He scoops the dog up and shows him off to Sam, forgetting entirely about his need to pee. He sets the sudden miracle in the backseat, promises there’ll be enough room for him.

That’s when Dean spots Chuck in the field, menacing and knowing. Dean straightens on instinct, facing the threat. As Chuck raises his hand to snap, a gushing voice rushes to Dean’s side.

“Oh, who’s a good boy?!” She doesn’t see their destructive creator waiting in the wings and Dean moves to shield her from Chuck’s gaze.

It’s too late.

Suddenly Chuck is standing beside the impala’s trunk.

“Now, how exactly did I miss you?” Chuck gapes, the disbelief and rage shifting across his once amiable face.

She chokes on her breath, freezes on the spot. Dean sees the power trip flash in Chuck’s piercing blue gaze. He likes when people are fearful, he likes to see them squirm.

“She wasn’t here when you iced everybody, Chuck. It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s still just us,” Dean reasons, downplaying her worth.

“Nah, I don’t like it. It’s supposed to be you and Sam. Jack, fine. He’s just a pet anyway. But her? You guys get over your crap and suddenly there’s a whole new generation of thorns in my side. Sorry,” Chuck huffs and snaps his fingers. She disappears faster than Dean could take it in. “Not sorry.”

“What the hell?!” Dean barks. Panic, rage, and overwhelming sadness shoot through him as he dives towards Chuck. But he’s gone before Dean can get there. Falling to the gravel, gracelessly, Dean spins on his knees to see if Sam or Jack are still alive and accounted for. He spots their silhouettes through the convenience store windows. With that little platitude, Dean staggers over to soothe the dog’s sudden whimper. And then it vanishes too.

Maybe Dean never made it out of Hell after all.

Tell me what you think?

Tagging: @peridottea91 @fookinghelljensensthighs @cosicas-cuquis @flamencodiva @akshi8278 @dontshootmespence @smi727 @ericaprice2008 @crashdevlin @dolphincliffs @spnfamily-j2

Read On: Free Will

#bgdc #dean winchester fanfiction #tell me a story bingo #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #dean angst #s15 fic #platonic!reader #plussized!reader #reader insert #spn angst #the dog gets dusted #no beta I die on my own sword

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theninjamouse · 4 years

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Ocean on Fire Phantom of the Opera AU Master List (To be added to as I see fit)

Strap in, this is gonna get long. Big thanks to @thaylepo for indulging me and sending many brilliant ideas.

This is a basic rundown and ideas that would happen at some point in the story. Obviously some things could change or be added but I’ve just got to get this down before I go nuts

Shore and Grillby were childhood friends.

Shore is the child of a wealthy business man, taught from childhood that the arts are to be treasured and appreciated

However, while she may learn instruments and dance and music, she is to take over the family business, not run away to star in the opera like she wants

Grillby's father (he has parents in this au) was a famous violinist who often was called by Shore's father to perform for parties. He wound up teaching Shore fundamentals of music

Little Grillby was a shy flame. Always trailed along behind his father, clutching his tailcoats

Shore saw the tiny elemental and decided instantly: I'm going to be his BEST FRIEND

Queue stuttering, hesitant Grillby being dragged around the manor, getting into all sorts of trouble and adventures. He's a lot more hardy than Shore is, so he rather often found himself acting as a sort of guard dog. He was utterly distraught when Shore fell and broke her arm. Shore teased him about crying because she couldn’t stand to see him so upset

They also learn music together from Grillby's father. First time Shore hears Grillby sing, she grabs his face and screams with delight until the poor little guy is fully bright blue with blushing

Then Grillby's father dies. A family friend takes Grillby away to one of the opera houses to work. Grillby and Shore are 13 and 10 at this point and have spent the last 6 years together. Shore makes Grillby promise to keep singing, to keep the spark of his father alive through music. He promises

They both wait until they are out of sight of the other to cry

Grillby cries every night for the first 3 months in the opera house. As a monster, he is bullied by many of the other students. He mourns his father's passing and he misses Shore to a near unbearable level. The only comfort he has is when he sings quietly to himself in those few moments when he is alone doing his chores

Then he hears a voice, a soft and gentle voice that asks him why such a bright flame weeps. He runs away in fear and hides in his bed

But the voice asks him again and again. 'Why does such a bright flame weep?' Slowly, over the course of a year, Grillby tells the voice his story

The voice says he is the Phantom of the opera house. Grillby thinks he sounds rather young to be a Phantom

The Phantom replies that Grillby is rather young to have such a lovely voice. He offers to teach Grillby. The fire monster agrees upon hearing the Phantom's beautiful and haunting voice

After all, he did promise

15 years pass. Shore has taken over her family business and is finally able to offer herself as a patron to an opera house that has shown remarkable growth over the years, becoming well known in the arts circles

Partially thanks to the star of the show, a humanoid robot named Mettaton. Most of the monsters we know work the show behind the scenes, so having a monster in the lead is a new leap in gaining treatment that is more fair for monster kind as performers

But Mettaton is also a diva. The day Shore arrives with new managers, he throws his tantrum and quits after a rather suspicious accident.

Shore only has eyes for the fire elemental standing frozen with the rest of the crew. She suggests letting him take the lead role. Promising that she knows he can sing.

Grillby is so quiet most assumed he couldn't even talk so naturally protests break out and Shore maybe uses her power as a patron to insist. 'He promised me,' is all she says, looking right at him

So he sings and everyone is stunned at the strength and grace of his voice. The managers instantly whisk him away to prepare for the show

After the show, Shore goes to his new dressing room and they fall into each other's arms. They speak of times past, of the loneliness of being apart. But when Shore says that she wants to take him out to celebrate, he hesitates. The Phantom will not be happy if he leaves, he knows this

But he agrees and she leaves to let him change

Enter in The Phantom. Showing himself for the first time, a figure in black wearing a simple white mask over his face. White hands punched through the palms. Grillby is enchanted, dazed and follows The Phantom into the tunnels under the opera house

*Music of the Night noises*

Grillby has a bit of a Crisis because he genuinely cares about Phantom and they became very close friends as much as teacher and student but this is kind of odd?? A little frightening?

Phantom sees this, backpedals real hard but hides it and sends Grillby back upstairs before falling into bed and screaming into his pillow

When Shore finds Grillby vaguely wandering back into the theater, she goes, uh??? What happened?? Were you kidnapped? I kind of stayed up all night looking for you??

Grillby, still a little in shock because what the heck just happened "Kind of?"

Now that won't STAND

Shore starts digging to find out everything she can about this opera ghost, keeping a close eye on Grillby. There is no gaslighting here folks like in versions of the story that to this day drive me crazy

As Shore digs, accidents start happening. Loose floorboards, unlatched equipment, a falling sandbag or two. Shore catches on pretty quickly what’s happening when she catches just a flash of shadow more than once right before or after these little ‘incidents’

Finally plants herself down in the middle of the stage and calls for the Phantom to show his face. It takes a while then she sees a shadow just barely move. He’s up in the rafters, crouched like some kind of bat

“What is your freaking deal?”

“Why are you trying to take what’s mine?”

“Yours? He belongs to himself you dingbat”

That makes him laugh for reasons Shore doesn’t get

Conversation happens, a lot of dodging questions, shifting blame. Phantom is oddly charming. For being an attempted murdering/kidnapping jerk

“Are you the one who keeps trying to kill me? The sandbag dropped on my head, the broken trapdoor, the spiders in my hat??”

“Oh my God, I’m not responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in this place. It’s an old building, accidents do happen.

“The sandbag was me though.”

Grillby materializes just to smack him in the head for that

And so it goes, Grillby and Shore trying to reconnect, Grillby trying to maintain a level of friendship (and maybe more?) with Phantom and Phantom attempting various levels of accidents to get Shore to leave the theater

Until one day he finds Shore on the stage. She’s singing to an empty theater. She’s not...good exactly but...rather unpracticed. He’s startled enough that he stops his evil giggling and untwisting of the hidden trapdoor in the stage to listen.

He comes up silently, creeping on the edges just out of sight. When he speaks, Shore shrieks and nearly falls off the stage anyway. Her blushing does a weird thing to his Soul. Like a sort of flip flopping squeeze.

“Well, if you’re going to think yourself worthy of my Flame, you’d better have a voice to match. Let me hear you sing again.”

Many ‘threat’ filled lessons later-

“Hmm. Maybe there’s hope for you after all”

“Maybe there’s more to you than a creepy stalker personality.”

Past the Point of No Return scene happens at some point. I don’t make the rules

Also Phantom and Shore have a sword fight that maybe starts out as anger fueled but rather quickly changes to a pent up Feelings kind of deal

Grillby’s concern is quick to fade and he watches the two idiots dance around each other, wondering why exactly they don’t see how much they actually do like each other.

It’s also at this moment he realizes fully that he loves them both

“Well shoot, I love these two morons and they love each other but won’t admit it. This is going to be very ‘fun’ to sort out”

Eventually, Shore asks for Phantom’s name.

“My name...died with the person I was long ago.”

“Maybe it’s time you reclaim it.”

His name is Wing Dings Gaster and for countless years he was held by the Void. He doesn’t fully remember how he escaped, nor what he looked like before. All he knows is that his face is broken with terrible cracks and skeletal in only the vaguest sense with a body that ebbs and flows with darkness. When he first stumbled back into the light after the darkness of the Void, people screamed and ran from him. Or worse, they chased him, calling him an omen of death. So he retreated down below the theater and resigned himself to always be a watcher and made a mask to cover his face.

He was alone for years until he heard young Grillby crying in a corner and sat as close as he dared. It took a while for him to gain the courage to speak to the elemental

Given the fluid nature of his body, it’s easy for him to change his voice to sing. It’s the only part of himself that he can see as holding any worth.

Grillby was his only source of socialization and he’s terrified of losing him, which makes Phantom a tad bit clingy with some pretty severe separation anxiety

Phantom is a sad, sad boy who needs a lot of hugs and therapy

Shore is kind to him despite it all (and despite the irritation at the ‘death threats’)

Phantom finally admits that she was never in any actual danger because he might be a messed up guy but he’s not a murderer. He might have even nudged her out of the way with blue magic a few times to make sure she wasn’t hurt.

Eventually Phantom realizes he no longer wants her to leave. He wants to stand with her and Grillby. He wants to be a better monster but he doesn’t know how to do that so kind of retreats into his lair

Grillby and Shore have to track him down. And queue the heart to heart, the great Crying Session, the Unmasking or whatever you wanna call it

And they all live an OT3 happy ending, the end

#OoF phantom au #grillby #gaster #gaster/grillby/reader #undertale #WHOOO finally got this all down #listen in this house #love triangles mean that all three are in love with each other!#and it's wonderful!#OoF extra

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divinaes-bookofsecrets · 4 years

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can i get a spirit guide reading too? ): ive been dying to find my own..♎

Hi 👋 hello there pleased to meet you ♎

×JaxDessa×IS YOUR SPIRIT GUIDE CURRENTLY🐠🌏🐚

She is female inter-terrestrial Female-Sea Creature who visits middle Earth and thats about as close as she gets to you personal space other than being able to e a essence that communicates or manipulates your current or future circumstances.

As an etheric being, Mermaid is “out of time” even as magic. She can teach you to walk through different worlds safely. There are spaces and places where all time swirls together, opening infinite possibilities.

If Mermaid Spirit had a mantra, it would be “go with the flow.” Give yourself to the ebb and flow of Mermaid’s ties. This provides you with adaptability akin to how water takes on the shape of its container.

Lightworkers, such as myself, 🌐🐚🐠 believe that Mermaids may have come originally from Atlantis as shapeshifters. Afterward, they moved into the Etheric realm; this is the place wherein we can connect with them and learn their wisdom. Mermaid Medicine supports environmental health and the kingdom of the sea. If you are doing workings for the Earth, they are excellent helpmates.

Like the creature of myths, Mermaid Totems are drawn to water. The ocean, in particular, has healing and energizing qualities to it. The Mermaid Mage often works exclusively with the Water Element; and Jaxdessa is no different she happens to be an elite member of the aquatic Water Mystics in her colony in the ethereal realm of existence....

This Mer-Woman has been with you since your birth and will likely be with you until the END of time; but first let's dive fins deep into her bio and see what she's in your life for?

🦋🌏🦋Being female, the symbolism and meaning of the Mermaid ties to the Sacred Feminine, specifically Goddesses like Venus who rules love, and the Sea Goddesses like Calypso. This is not a woman who can be tamed. The fierce individuality among Mermaids is well known – so much so that they may resist settling down in any one spot. Here Mermaid Spirit appears linked heavily to uniqueness and non-conformity.

Are you looking for a way to express yourself? Trying to find clarity in love matters? Mermaid as a Spirit, Totem, and Power Animal can help! Mermaid teaches to find balance between the heart and mind! Delve deeply in Mermaid symbolism and meaning to find out how this animal spirit guide can aid, inspire, and balance you!

Mermaid Symbolism & Meaning

The myths of Mermaids (and mermen) are enchanting. The rich voice of the Mermaid calls out to us with symbolism and meaning that clarifies the role this Fantasy Spirit Guide plays in our lives. Many stories of the Mermaid tell of enticing beauty, raw sensuality, and humans who succumb to their haunting songs; in this, we see where Mermaid becomes an emblem of balancing our heart and head. We need to think clearly even in matters of love and lust. Additionally, there are times in our lives where its ok to dance to a different, magical tune. Individuality and non-conformity are definitely traits of the Mermaid.

Mermaid Omens: Mermaids seem to be fairly lucky in that, if in a generous mind, they might grant a wish. Having said that, sailors consider them a foreboding sign that the proverbial ship may never reach land again.

Etymology: Mermaid comes from the 14th century term mermayde, meaning Maid of the Sea. The Old English word was similar – merwif, or Water Witch.

Being female, the symbolism and meaning of the Mermaid ties to the Sacred Feminine, specifically Goddesses like Venus who rules love, and the Sea Goddesses like Calypso. This is not a woman who can be tamed. The fierce individuality among Mermaids is well known – so much so that they may resist settling down in any one spot. Here Mermaid Spirit appears linked heavily to uniqueness and non-conformity.

Reach out to Mermaid as a Power Animal any time you work with the element of water in ritual, meditations or magic. There are other goals for which Mermaid can help. When you need inspiration, particularly in song, she can release your self-consciousness, so you really sing from your heart. Regarding sexuality, she removes inhibitions that hold you back from true pleasure.

Mermaid represents transition and transmutation. When you face unique changes in your life, she can help steady the waters around you.

Finally, call to Mermaid when you struggle with your emotions or when your intuition seems to have dried up. Mermaid medicine heals broken hearts and discouragement, then goes on supporting your intuitive self so you can avoid the chaos.

Mermaid as a Celtic Animal Symbol

Celtic Tradition has a long-standing relationship with magical water creatures. Sprites and nymphs often lived nearby sacred falls and wells. The Mermaid, however, lives in the sea. In this culture, the symbolism and meaning of Mermaid is that of the feminine element of the Universe. It is powerful and mysterious. The image of the double-tailed Mermaid adorns many churches represents the ultimate Celtic goddess, Sheela-Na-Gig.

Native American Mermaid Symbolic Meanings

One story from the Mi’kmaq tribe tells of a bird who discovers a pond with five lovely women therein. He noted that they didn’t really look totally human, having silvery scaled skin and hair of seaweed. They adorned themselves with gifts of the sea, and the bottom half of their body was that of a fish.

The Passamaquoddy tales recount the story of how two girls became Mermaids (HeNwas). They went swimming in an area prohibited by their parents. They came to a spot where they were surrounded in slime. Their legs became snakes, their hair black and wearing silver bands on their arms and neck.

Sekani legend talks of the marriage between a human and a Mermaid. By the first winter, the Mermaid yearned for her ocean home. She begged for freedom. It wasn’t until the second winter, however, that the man complied so she could hunt for him. Each day she returned dutifully with food. They became happy and had seven children. After the last child, winter returned, and the man sadly broke a hole in the ice so she could return. When she began swimming, she realized her children could not follow her. She tried to work a spell, placing water on their lips and telling them to follow her. Sadly they drown and were never seen again.

Mermaid Dreams

Mermaids in dreams almost always represent femininity with all its lovely attributes. These dreams often reveal clues to your feminine side. This can be a happy omen unless you fear the emotions and insights Mermaid brings.

A Mermaid swimming in water may represent a girth of emotions that threaten to overwhelm. You feel as if you are going under and giving in to the pressures around. Find your life vest and get some help and support.

Far Eastern Mermaid Symbolic Meanings

There are numerous stories of Mermaids in China. Literature depicts her as similar to western Mermaids with the ability to cry pearls, shapeshift, foretell the future and craft magical items.

One story tells of a Mermaid who asked to stay with a human family for many days so she could weave and sell her cloth. In thanks for the human’s hospitality, she cried a container full of pearls and gave it to the family.

Mermaid Symbolic Meanings Key

Adaptability

Awareness

Discretion

Divination

Emotions

Innocence

Non-conformity

Psychic Aptitude

Shapeshifting

Uniqueness

Artists frequently depict Mermaids with a fish bone comb; this illustration came about due to sailors’ beliefs. If you had fish bones on board a ship, one could know what type of weather was coming through divination and take control of a storm to calm the winds. Another tool of the Mermaid is a mirror. This object has long been used for magic as a “looking glass” much like a crystal ball. Mirrors represent the moon and the intuitive self. Wrap these tools into a medicine bag, and you have future-telling abilities, far sight, sensitivity, and psychic aptitude.

WHAT DO MERMAIDS LOOK LIKE ?🧜‍♀️ 🧜‍♀️

Traditional Mermaids have the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a fish. Images of Mermaids appear as early as ancient Babylon. Sailors considered images of Mermaids as a good luck charm, which is why figureheads were carved with Her image.

Being tied to the Water Element, Mermaid may take on the meaning of a source of life, cleansing, and renewal. Water can also be a fierce foe, with crashing waves that threaten to take us under into the unknown. The ancients found themselves inexplicably attracted to the Mermaid, while also being frightened of their powers.

These “Angels of the Sea” appear most frequently at dawn and dusk. These are “in between” times when the veil between worlds grows thin. Some say they only show themselves to people who have pure hearts, giving he Mermaid the symbolism of discretion and awareness.

WHAT DOES JAXDESSA LOOK LIKE?

Here....She is .. 🧜‍♀️ 7:47 PM(look up the numerology or 747 and 757 , 759)

Those are your times you'll be likely to sense her close to you...

When Jaxdessa swims with you, she brings you into the realm of Water, which also speaks of our emotions. You will be challenged to dig deep inside yourself to understand your fears and scars fully. Only by so doing can you truly heal. Throughout this journey, Jaxdessa offers love and support.The Mermaid animal spirit may also bear a message about reconnecting with your inner child and nature. The innocence and joy of the child dances with the beauty of the world. There is a richness in this relationship building process, and Mermaid is your guide...

When working with your Mermaid guide, it is essential that you remain true to yourself: She will not condone facades. Keep it real and be ready to swim.

Those born with Mermaid imprinted on their soul feel at one with nature. They see the wonders of the world with an appreciative eye, but also know that there is much more going on behind the proverbial curtain. The Mermaid constantly interacts and exchanges various feelings with others including joy, peace, and liveliness. The Mermaid’s language of love is an affirmation.

Greed doesn’t really measure in the mind of the Mermaid. They do not seek to possess others, but rather walk with them in mutual goals and dreams. The Mermaid’s inner child is strong and very active.

More...SpiritGuide bio

The Mermaid person has intense psychic abilities. You see spirits, fairies, Devas, Angels, and other Fantasy creatures easily. Some of the gifts you may have include clairvoyance and hypnotic allure

The Mermaid is an amazing empath, but this can also be her undoing. She feels everything. A crowded room can become totally overwhelming. Thankfully with time and practice, she can learn to detach from others feelings and consider them much as one might watch a movie. This protects the Mermaid from psychic overload and burnout. ((YOU MORE THAN LIKELY CSN RELATE TO THIS AND MOST OF THE MERMAID QUALITIES BECAUSE YOU ARE HER SHE IS YOU;; DO YOU SEE THESE SIMILARITIES YET?))

💘 💜 💛 💚 🧡 💘

Regarding relationships JaxDessa people may not settle down, but they certainly enjoy a good lover. There is raw, unbridled sexuality here that begs for attention. Because they are very private people, however, some of these desires go unfulfilled.

Spirit Guides 3 Messages for me today (current date Jan 11th 2021)

First message: #1

ANGEL NUMBER 833

Number 833 is a blend of the vibrations and energies of number 8 and number 3, with number 3 appearing twice, amplifying its influences of 3, and relating the the Master Number 33. Number 8 relates to self-confidence and personal authority, discernment, higher wisdom, achievement and successes, practicality, consideration, giving and receiving, and serving humanity. Number 8 is also the number of karma; the Universal Spiritual Law of Cause and Effect. Number 3 is the number of affability, enthusiasm, assistance and encouragement, communication and self-expression, growth, expansion and the principles of increase, manifesting, broad-minded thinking, talents and skills, and the energies of the Ascended Masters. Master Number 33 (the Master Teacher) relates to the attributes of the ‘healer’, compassion, blessings, the teacher of teachers, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage.

Angel Number 833 is a powerful message and sign that you are being fully supported, surrounded and supported by your Spirit Guides ...It indicates that you are successfully manifesting prosperity and abundance in your life by the positive choices you have made and are currently making. Put your personal attributes and talents to good use and be open to receiving your well-earned rewards and blessings. Trust that all is going to Divine plan.

Angel Number 833 brings a powerful message of love and support, encouragement and guidance, and your SpiritGuide(s) ask that you maintain a positive attitude and outlook to continue manifesting positive abundance into your life. Remember that what you put out to the Universe comes back to you, so ensure that you use your personal power and talents in a positive manner, always.

Angel Number 833 tells you to take ownership of your own life and discover your dreams. Use your personal creativity in constructive and productive ways, and put your skills and talents to work to achieve your heart’s desires. You get what you expect so make sure you radiate positive energies and expect the highest and best in return. Trust that you will find success in your chosen endeavours.

Number 833 relates to number 5 (8+3+3=14, 1+4=5) and Angel Number 5.

Now look up # 5 see what it is ? Thats your next mission .🧜‍♀️.

Second Message : WHAT I NEED TO HEAR RIGHT THIS MOMENT ...

If you were to bite into a piece of cake and think it's awful because of certain flavors or a lack of some ingredient, it would not be pleasant in the moment. Even so, the experience could be beneficial to you later on. Suppose you wanted to bake a special cake for someone. The experience you had with the unappetizing cake might inspire you to do things differently. Every bad experience has an upside, Dear Jaxdessas darling, even if it doesn't seem so in the moment. Remember that today if something doesn't seem ideal.

Third Message: 🌟 ⭐ 💫 🌠 🌃 ✨ 🌟 ♎ January 11 - January 17

A project that is in the final stage of development could get a really big boost this week, dear Jaxdessas darling. This may come out of left field, and the help you need may come from someone you least expected and perhaps you don't even like, but don't cut off your nose to spite your face. This is essential assistance, and you should be grateful for it. Success is possible with a work- or money-related venture that didn't seem to be going very well all that long ago. This is due to your persistence and your optimistic attitude, so let this be a lesson for future endeavors. Some venture that you have put a lot of time and energy into may wind up hitting a brick wall very soon. You may want to proceed anyway, and you may want to figure out how many ways there are to get over the wall that stands between you and success. But before you invest that time, think about whether this will be worth the effort in the end. There could be something else coming along that could take its place, and that could be easier and more rewarding in the end.

&&&

A creak you hear in the dark could be the settling of an old house, or it could be a burglar creeping on the stairs. Loud voices you hear coming in through the windows could be your neighbors arguing, or it could be those same neighbors sharing good news. The lamp going out on your nightstand could be a sign that electricity has shut down, or it could mean you need a new bulb. There is often more than one way to interpret something, and usually there's nothing to worry about. Remember that today, Taurus, if you are tempted to follow worrisome thoughts. It's more likely there's nothing to worry about.

FINAL THOUGHTS?.. THE WISE ADVICE FROM YOUR MYSTIC MERMAID 🧜‍♀️

Step 1) Define Your Core Values

Know what is most important to you by determining your values for your professional and personal life.

These are the principles that are the foundation for your priorities, choices, actions, and behaviors.

You can start by looking at this list of values.

Step 2: Practice the habits.

Pick one or two from this list of positive character traits above to practice for several weeks.

Write down the actions you want to take or the behaviors you define that reflect this trait, and implement them in your daily life and interactions.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist or create other reminders to help you practice these good qualities.

Step 3: Find people with good character.

Surround yourself with people who reflect the character traits you want to embrace.

They will inspire and motivate you to build these traits in yourself.

Try to avoid people who have a weak character and make bad decisions.

Step 5: Take some risks.

Start taking small actions toward a goal or value that involves some level of risk.

When you face the possibility of failure and challenge yourself toward success, you become mentally and emotionally stronger and more committed to your principles.

Step 6: Stretch yourself.

Create high standards and big goals for yourself.

Expect the best of yourself and constantly work toward that, even though you will have setbacks and occasional failures.

Every stretch builds your confidence and knowledge that your positive character traits are getting stronger.

Step 7: Commit to self-improvement.

Realize that building your character is a life-long endeavor.

It is something that is practiced both in the minutiae and the defining moments of your life.

There will be times you step up to the character traits you embrace and other times you falter.

Thank You for taking the time to meet your Spirit Guide today have a nice day 😊 ✨ 💛 ☺ 💗

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queeranesearch · 4 years

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@harutheestallion Thank you so much for the tag, Arthur!! I kith you, mwah!

(This ended up being way longer than I thought it’d be bc I got so caught up in talking about OTHER people’s writing lmfao, so I’m putting a ‘keep reading’)

Prompt - share your:

First fic: Uuugh god..When I was 11/12 I was really into Attack on Titan, and in my Year 8 English Lit class we had lessons where we did creative writing so of course I wrote an Armin-centric high-school AU. It haunts me to this day but it was so funny to read again later on. But the first fic I actually posted online was a Moomin one, back in 2019. Moomins was (and still is thb) a big comfort media for me, and it always helped me feel better when I was going through some really bad anxiety. I was also very insecure about my writing and hadn’t written anything in years, but I was very attached to the characters and there wasn’t that much content of them so I thought “Fuck it. This is gonna be very self-indulgent. If other people like it then great, but really this is for me.” I did end up getting way more kudos and comments than I thought I would and loads of lovely comments. I read it again a little while ago and the writing is a but rusty, and my paragraphing isn’t great, but it’s really sweet and I had a lot of fun writing it and I think that shines through.

Favourite fic: Dude, I cannot pick one favourite fic, so I’m gonna list a few that came to mind: Hooked by @listless-brainrot - aka THE jetru fic. I will forever scream about List’s writing. The way he’s able to take such a character with one episode, and see the potential pour so much life into him is amazing. He writes Haru with so much nuanced realness, and seeing things though his perspective makes for such an immersive read and gives beautiful insight into his thoughts and wants. I cannot recommend it enough.

Sing a little louder, laugh a little softer by @chief-yue - Such lovely fic exploring the music of cultures ATLA was inspired by. I had the biggest smile on my face reading this; Katrina really captures the dynamic of the Gaang wonderfully, and her descriptions are vivid and heartwarming.

Two Sturdy Oaks by @rileyblxu - A Dead Poets Society fic and one of my comfort fics ajklasd. The author writes Neil and Todd perfectly; Like if you told me this fic was actually deleted scenes from the movie I would believe you 100%. The dialogue between all the characters is spot on, and the trusting relationship both Neil and Todd have with Mr Keating is so heart-warming to read, and the descriptions were so tender and full of so much love and pining,,dude I actually cried a little. PLUS the use of poems at the beginning of the chapters?? Absolutely iconic for setting the tone. Love it.

Not Ready To Make Nice by @harutheestallion - Tagging you twice hehe. Arthur’s characterization of Jet kills me DEAD. They have so many little nuanced details about Jet, but also how he sees other people and the world around him. They have such a strong grasp on his character; every action he makes in this fic is written cleverly wand with such clear thought put behind it, and Jet’s perseverance and bitterness but also his kindness and desire to protect others really shines through. And HAMA. She’s written perfectly too; so similar to Jet in many ways but also more ‘jaded’ and less hopeful. Their dynamic is so interesting to read and watching them become gradually closer is so lovely.

Henna by @miannmian - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Simran is the QUEEN of fluff. This is one of their shorter works, but it’s packed of such tender characterization. The descriptions are written with so much care and warmth, you can practically feel the love these Jet and Haru have for each other. It’s sweet, it’s domestic, and it makes my heart swell each time I read it.

Can’t Make An Omelette by @citron-ella - A Good Omens fic, but focused on The Them! GO fics that aren’t primarily about Aziraphale and Crowley are hard to come by, so I was delighted when I came across this one, particularly as The Them are my personal faves from the book/show. This fic is so sweet and funny in little nuanced ways. Children are hard to write, especially slightly older ones, but this author wrote them wonderfully; they really captured the lovely curious and mischievous nature of The Them, and each one of the kids was written perfectly in character. The descriptions set the scenes well, and they have a sweet, nostalgic sort of tone to them; it reminds me of what kid’s books used to be like years ago, there’s an Enid Blyton(and I’d even say a Terry Pratchet) like charm to it. And I adore the little detail of Brian being curious about Pollution being non-binary, and recognizing something similar in himself; it was so heart-warming. I also loved the bit at the end where Pepper knowingly acknowledges Brian’s interest in being non-binary; it’s a nice subtle way of showing their friendship and how they pay attention to each other.

Most Recent fic: A jetru oneshot, “Kiss Me?”. It’s pretty simple and fluffy; the lads having their first kiss. To be honest, it’s one of those fics I have a love-hate relationship with; looking back at it there are so many ways I’d rewrite it and make it better, but there are some nice bits there too.

Fic with most notes: My moomin one I mentioned earlier. It’s called “To Have a Family is an Awfully Complicated Thing”. A VERY wordy title, and again, there a loads of things I wish I could change and do better( I have actually been contemplating rewriting it) but it’s very close to my heart, and I’m glad other people liked it too.

A line or two from a wip: Man, I have SO many wips it’s embarrassing. Here’s a modern Yueki thing I was doing: They didn't know how Yue spent lunchtimes at school in the library, hidden behind the back shelves, reading poetry books held together with thick brown tape; Shakespeare, Dickinson, Keats, Wordsworth, their words lovely yet so disconnected from her; how within the whole breadth of the romantics she could not find one to attach to; how with no great authors to turn to, she put her own pen to paper, spilling thoughts of brown hair and dark eyes, of a face that freckled in the sun, of a laugh that filled her stomach flip with a delightful queasiness, of how her heart ached for the girl that cleaned her grazed knee for her when she was six. ‘Oh dear.’ Yue fiddled with the bag in her lap, zipping it up, zipping it down. ‘There’s no going back now, is there?’

Favourite character to write for (and why): Hmm, I think Yue and Jet, both from ATLA. Something about them just clicks with me; I love Yue to bits and wish we could’ve had more of her in the show, so I love exploring her character beyond being the Moon Princess. I also adore Jet and will forever be angry about how he dirty they did him in the show. Writing him is actually quite challenging, but in a way I enjoy, and I enjoying pushing myself to explore the nuance and depth he had in the show.

Character(s) you find hard to write: Hm.. I’d say Toph. I love Toph so much but I find it difficult to really capture her strength and rowdiness, but also her compassion and her softer side.

I’ve tagged a few people in this already, so if they wanna do this feel free to! Also you. Reading this. Consider yourself tagged; I wanna hear about your writing.

#shush jas #jas has a pen #note to self: finish wips

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magos-dominus · 4 years

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FFVII: REMAKE Exists to Mock Your Pain

This is a post about Aerith Gainsborough.

If you are wondering, this is not a post about shipping. It is also very long.

I do talk about the love triangle from a narrative construction and game design standpoint, though. If that interests you, go ahead. If not, scroll on.

+++ Open Spoilers for FFVII (1997) and FFVII: REMAKE +++

So, my reading of FFVII’s infamous Love Triangle has always been that, in the text, there, uh…

Isn't one.

Not really.

The structure of the entire narrative and the trajectory of Cloud's and Tifa's character arcs are built around the two of them baring their vulnerabilities at each other in a rare moment of acceptance, connection, and understanding. You might argue that we never see them physically intimate, here them say those three little words, or even engage in a few PDAs, that the nature of their relationship isn’t clear.

But to be honest?

Who cares that we don’t?

Something we can learn from Good Omens is that, if two characters have to kiss or fuck or say ‘I love you’ to convince you that they’re head over heels for each other, the story is either poorly written or you don’t really understand the meaning of the word.

I have a higher opinion of this game than that, and I want to have a high opinion of you, gentle reader.

The Lifestream Sequence is the emotional climax of the game’s narrative. The rest is simply clean up and denouement. However, that fact does beg the question: "What then, is the narrative purpose of Aerith's attraction to Cloud?"

To start, it's not a connection to Zack Fair, given that in the OG he's more plot device than person. So, what is it then?

I'd argue, that through a combination of incident and design, the Triangle exists at the crux of two competing narrative threads, held in tension by the fact that, as an audience, we share our perspective with the POV character, Cloud in this instance, and the plot works through him to us, most of the time. These two narrative threads are:

Establishing and foreshadowing Cloud's romantic feelings for Tifa as present and important to him and his character.

Getting the audience, not Cloud, to fall in love with Aerith Gainsborough.

If you’ll allow me to put my Doylist hat on for a moment, I have some trivia for you.

As an interesting hiccup of human psychology, the wad of soggy bacon that is your brain is incapable of distinguishing, on an emotional level, between real people and fictional ones. This is why you can start to feel like, after watching the same streamer or listening to the same podcast for long enough, you might start to feel like the hosts are your friends, even if you logically know that isn't true. It is the fundamental psychological reason fiction can resonate with us, despite us knowing it’s, fundamentally, an entertaining lie. Video games, as an interactive medium, can dig into this phenomenon like no other form of storytelling. With Aerith, you might have spent 20 to 30 hours with her by the time you get to the Forgotten Capital. You’ve laughed and fought and maybe cried with her across two continents and a trio of plot arcs. She’s a person the audience has, via Cloud, shared a whirlwind, globe-spanning adventure.

The reason that its her death, out of all the other fictional deaths we’ve experienced, out of all the deaths within FFVII itself, that hurts the most, is because that, by the time she leaves the Temple of the Ancients on her own, she doesn’t just feel like Cloud’s friend.

Its over just when she feels like she’s become yours.

Not content to simply to explore the grieving process of its own characters, FFVII reaches out to take something from you, and have you grieve with them.

A recurring and oft-pointed-out design decision is the empty space left by Aerith after she dies. Holes in group formations, gaps in menus, etc. Places where she used to be. A reminder of the loss, or more optimistically, a commentary on how she’s still with the party in spirit.

I would argue that it might just as easily be you in that space. AVALANCHE is a rag-tag group of misfits bound together by their grief, and when you leave the Forgotten Capital, you’ve been blooded. You’re trauma-bonded to the group now, and you’re all there, shoulder-to-shoulder to do right by your fallen friend.

It’s a gimmick that appears on the ludic level as well. Cloud’s various panic attacks, out-of-body experiences, and struggles for control are experienced by the audience through the mechanics. Sephiroth manipulates Cloud by disrupting, blocking, and limiting your connection to him. he isn’t just denying Cloud agency, he’s reaching out through the fourth wall to deny you your own.

To personally victimize you.

Once you leave the Forgotten Capital, the dialogue choices vanish. You are no longer Cloud’s co-pilot. The trauma and grief has severed that connection you had with him. You can’t do anything to help or guide him anymore. He’s on his own and you, along with Tifa, have to watch him slip out of your grasp and into the hands of an enemy all three of you are powerless to fight.

Final Fantasy VII isn’t a video game.

Final Fantasy VII is an elaborate mouse trap masquerading as a late-90′s JRPG, and Aerith Gainsborough, part-time human, full-time hello kitty monster truck, is an insidiously crafted piece of fine Swiss Gouda. It is designed, from script to visuals to music, to fill your heart to bursting and then run it over with a sixteen-wheeler; then leave you reeling for long enough that you don’t hear the tell-tale crunch of rubber-on-asphalt as it backs up over your pulped torso for good measure.

Which brings us to REMAKE. Namely, why did they cut a lot of scenes from the OG’s script that heavily featured Aerith flirting with Cloud? Or suggested there might be something there, between them, to the audience? It’s for the same reason that Sephiroth no longer has his trademark slow-burn rise to the center of the stage.

Those plot points no longer served their narrative purpose.

REMAKE is, functionally, a pseudo-sequel. A retelling that exists in conversation with a past version of itself, and is constructed with the assumption that the audience is, at least passingly, familiar with its legacy.

Sephiroth doesn’t get a mysterious build-up because everyone already knows who he is and what he’s about, he and Aerith are familiar with at least a broad-strokes version of the script because the audience already knows it by heart, Cloud gets headache flashbacks of scenes from the OG when we see something we know will be picked up down the line, and Aerith isn’t pushed as hard as a love interest to the audience because we’re already attached to her at the hip.

Aerith seemingly knows about her fate, and while the game leans heavily on suggesting Tifa and Cloud’s shared romantic feelings, even moreso than the original did in this segment, it still holds space for Cloud to pursue Aerith, should you choose. However, she all but talks past him and directly to the audience in her Chapter 14 Resolution scene, warning us away and signposting an oncoming tragedy so that we might brace for it when the time comes and spare us any unnecessary pain.

Her character development gets fast tracked too, through knowledge granted from the Arbiters, she grows quickly towards her late-disk-one identity as the Last Ancient. She gets a piece of the closure with Zack she might get at the Gold Saucer on her date with Cloud, a chance to say goodbye to the last bit of her normal life before she was able to fully embrace the fact that it was gone. She even gets the closing speech this time, last words usually reserved for the protagonist.

But that’s what she is at the end of REMAKE, isn’t it? The only one on the same playing field as Sephiroth and the only one who might be on the same page as the audience. Equal parts the Aerith that just left Midgar and the Aerith that we saw leave for the Forgotten Capital back in 1997, on a mission to protect her friends from the danger that lay on the path she knew she had to walk.

All of us now get to walk that path on more time.

Maybe this time we’ll get to walk it with her. Maybe this time we’ll get that happy ending. Hell, maybe Zack makes it out fine too and we get that heartfelt reunion our hearts bled for when finished Crisis Core. Maybe yours is still bleeding.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The Arbiters subplot exists to taunt us with these possibilities, to roll back our grief from acceptance to bargaining to denial, if we ever reached those stages to begin with. I can almost see our girl getting to go home this time, safe and happy and surrounded by her newfound misfit family, free of the crippling loneliness that’s haunted her entire life.

But to be honest?

All I can see is a better mouse trap.

#ffvii #ffvii remake #spoilers #aerith gainsborough #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #sephiroth #good omens #analysis #love triangle #love triangle debate #cloti #zack fair #long post is long #arbiters of fate #game design #narrative construction #note to self: stop using meth

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soc-characters-as-songs · 3 years

Note

Favorite part of the interviews and a song for all?

ivy: "*he keeps a small polite smile, silently gesturing to the refreshments available as he asks* how have you been finding angeles and the palace, ivy?

*/king doof-ael,/ the title her friend alba had dubbed him with, though she couldn't possibly off that as another name. even if it was interesting, it's only when raphael sits that she notices one of the imposing figures standing a ways behind him. /the divergent man/. seven. he was here? now???"

alaska ("and I walked off an old me/oh me, oh my I thought it was a dream/so it seemed/and now breathe deep, I'm inhaling/you and I, there's air in-between/leave me be, I'm exhaling/you and I, there's air in-between")

meredith: "*he keeps a smile at her* I believe I do prefer celebrations inside, though, knowing how hot it can get in the afternoon here in angeles.

*she feels a bit insensitive when he answers because it's such a huge "duh" moment and she kind of just didn't think about it before she made the comment about all the parties. but she can just add it to her mounting list of little mistakes. she grimaces and nods, murmuring* right, sorry, of course. *she shifts again, reminding herself that she needs to focus more* it's um... colder in northern angeles too. at least where I grew up *she breathes in a sigh because somehow she's turned this into a conversation about the weather, which she feels like is what you do when you're stuck in a waiting room with a stranger and even if that's what the interviews could be likened to she was hoping it wouldn't be like that. she squirms a bit more and honestly a bit of desperation is setting in and meredith unclasps her purse, finally looking down so she can see what she's doing. she hesitates a moment, then reaches a hand inside and pulls out an assorted bag of gummy bears, which she pilfered from the pantry the night before. she quickly closes the purse again, then her hands go to the bag as she opens it, the bag makes that loud plastic crinkly sound. meredith finally looks up at him again and gives him a weak smile, holding up the bag between them, with the opening facing his way* would you like some? *her eyes dart to sam and the cameras, then back to him* it has all the flavors, I think"

good as it gets ("just leave it up to me, to be sad in paradise/I got a good heart but f*ck it for the art/had a good life, I could never really see that/got so bad, lookin' for love in the trash/if I had it, I wouldn't know how to keep it/well, maybe i'm a mess/and maybe I'm depressed/and maybe I'll just find out who I am and I won't like who it is/and I'm a wreck"

diana: "*he shakes his head at her question, not dismissive at all but offering only this* I'm not the cooking or baking type. reading, you could say, is a hobby of mine - basic as it sounds. *he knows it's probably not enough as an answers so he also adds this* podcasts are a good alternative too if I'm moving around on vehicles *he leans back, putting his elbow on his arm rest as he thinks about the baking thing but wanting to confirm his guess he asks* if you don't mind me going back to the cupcakes, were they in celebration of something?

*she shakes her head when he calls his hobby basic* it's not basic at all. I love reading, honestly, it's a luxury to be able to pick up a book on any topic and learn about something new */especially when you never got a formal education past high school/. she thinks it but doesn't say it out loud*"

blind ("but you're a little like me, same type/cancels every date night/stays home, never leaves/just can't find the energy/I stay pretty numb/never fell for anyone/you seem similar/always end up getting hurt/I haven't felt a thing this year/and I'm only tryna be sincere")

dahlia: *elevator music*

alassie: "*he shakes his head at her question, unsure also of how she's approaching this either but he lifts a shoulder up* not exactly, since it was accidentally spilled on me. it's a shame, however, that I don't have the time to change until a few interviews after this. *he waits for her to take a seat properly, gesturing to the seat again* I do ask for your patience to look beyond that for the next five minutes of your time.

*she raises her eyebrows at his gestures, and settles a little more in her current position by crossing her legs. all his fuss over his jacket makes her want to roll her eyes, and she says sarcastically* I'm not sure I can. *she looks towards the camera crew, sounding more polite as she addresses them* can anyone bring us gin? and a dry cloth?"

entertainer ("you thought you had me, didn't you?/when you lied to my face, I could see the truth/every step of the way I knew/how you fooled me, boo/guess you didn’t know that/you were my favorite entertainer/I'd watch you, I'd laugh, I would fuck with you/don’t you take me for a fool/in this game, I own the rules")

ramona: "*he presses his lips together at her last statement, a wry smile on his lips* nothing that the palace laundry couldn't handle. though, it was my lucky shity that got stained.

*she quickly gives him a more sympathetic smile, replying in an almost joking tone* I hope that wasn't an omen for the rest of the day"

meet me at our spot ("i'm not getting younger/but when I'm older/I'll be so much stronger/I'll stay up for longer/meet me at our spot/caught a vibe/baby, are you coming for the ride?/I just wanna look into your eyes/I just wanna stay for the night, night, night")

rhea: "maybe you'll get to work into developing the shows themselves in the artistic team side now *he tilts his head* I'm sorry that you don't get to perform anymore.

*she waves the apology off* developing shows looks like fun - you get some more creativity. *this is what she had rehearsed for. random fact, something near embarrassing, to make her memorable - not something her mother ever said, but something guy of all people had suggested. she leans in with a sly smile* this sounds incredibly nerdy, but I- well, someone I know back home and I- started work on this musical about aliens"

honey ("'cause I'm a beautiful wreck/a colorful mess, but I'm funny/oh, I'm a heartbreak vet/with a stone-cold neck, yeah, I'm charmin'/all the pretty girls in the world/but I'm in this space with you/colored out the lines/I came to find, my fire was fate with you")

cornelia: "I still think invitations are a nice touch, if not the tiny umbrellas stuck on the cherries of the black forest cake. *he bobs his head at the mention of her friends, curious about them* did your friends get to send you off the other day?

*she chuckles because of his words* the tiny umbrellas /are/ a great detail. I didn't know those were something I needed in my life."

like real people do ("I knew that look dear/eyes always seeking/was there in someone/that dug long ago/so I will not ask you/why you were creeping/in some sad way I already know/I will not ask you where you came from/I will not ask you and neither would you")

kaden: "*he thanks her for the coffee, holding it with both of his hands for a bit to let it cool* my previous shirt and jacket have seen better days, and this is a new set of saucers and cups but thankfully not many other casualties *he shakes his head, lifting his mug up* I'd prefer to be drinking coffee or wine rather than have it accidentally on my shirt.

*she finishes to serve her own cup* a thrilling morning you're describing. *she looks up from under her lashes, still amused apparently* perhaps getting rid of the small talk would be for the best."

slow burn ("born in a hurry, always late/haven't been early since '88/texas is hot, I can be cold/grandma cried when I pierced my nose/good in a glass, good on green/good when you're puttin' your hands all over me/I'm alright with a slow burn/takin' my time, let the world turn/I'm gonna do it my way, it'll be alright")

andreia: "*should she look closely, there are coffee stains on the place setting of the coffee table while raffy is in a different shirt and jacket thanks to the wine incident earlier. around them, there are still cameras going off around them, documentation crew really going at it. still, raffy's standing tall with his hands clasped in front of him as she approaches, only offering her his hand when she's close enough to him so he can guide her to her seat. he tries to give her a small smile despite being tired* lady andreia, thank you so much for waiting. my name is raphael, it's a pleasure to meet you.

*being outside all day, with the sun being bright, has not been /ideal/ for andreia, but she's trying her best to ignore the budding headache. she takes his hand when she reaches him, but keeps her other hand in her pocket for the time being, and gives him a small smile in return* just andreia is fine. it's nice to meet you. *once the handshake is done, she takes the other hand out of her pocket, and smiles a little sheepishly before explaining* in iberia, it's rude to show up to someone's house without a gift to give the host *she holds out her hand and in it is a small origami corgi* I know it's not much, but... *she shrugs a little, still with the same sheepish smile*"

valerie ("well, sometimes I go out by myself/and I look across the water/snd I think of all the things of what you're doing/in my head I paint a picture/since I've come home/well, my body's been a mess/and I miss your ginger hair/and the way you like to dress/oh, won't you come on over?/stop making a fool out of me/why don't you come on over, valerie?")

arely: ??????????????

suzy: "*he waits for her to take a seat before taking his own, making a gesture for plato to follow like the besets boy he is and he stays by raffy's feet* he gets mad when he feels underdressed for an event. *he nods at her response to the food, understanding of her wanting to save space for dinner, but is very pleased to hear that she likes the food. he glances at the table, looking for his recommendation and gestures to a green tea bag* I believe some hot green tea would be nice before dinner. cleanses the palate too. *he tilts his head* any favorites from the selection of food earlier?

*she raises her eyebrows, surprised since she tried to dress up bom several times but she ultimately hated being dressed, even if it's a simple bow. she turns her attention to plato and looks down at him* a true gentlepup I see"

505 ("not shy of a spark/the knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark/frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark/the middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start")

#the selected

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thelordstears · 4 years

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Oh look, more fuckin’ writing, who woulda thunk it????

"There's no heroes nor villains in this shattered mind of mine. Just phantoms that dance in my headspace and leave a haunting echo of what never was.” - Elijah Vanders

“ These fires creep up my skin and leave me horrified of all the burns I've endured, but alas, they are no scald marks of the body, but of the mind.” - Elijah Vanders

“ I miss everything I've lost, everything I used to be.” - Elijah Vanders

“ This world was never for the broken, because people condemn what they might never understand, they tell you it's all in your head, and that's the issue. It is all in my head, and I wish it wasn't, because I'd rather face reality baring my teeth to the sky and bleeding from the lip then face the things I do on the daily.” - Elijah Vanders

“ I could look up at the stars and ask them "Why oh why am I a broken vagabond of this shattered world?" And all they'd do is blink out.” - Darkin Vagabond

“ I must confess, I feel like a monster, and all I can do really is hide from myself.” - Darkin Vagabond

“ Here I am, yearning for a better tomorrow, but all I do is sink into my blankets and know, there is no better tomorrow if I don't fight for it. And so I sleep the night away, fearing what it is the day shalt bring.” - Darkin Vagabond

“ How can I run from all this pain if it's apart of me? How could I possibly escape myself?” - Darkin Vagabond

"We condemn what we do not understand, and thus, we can never learn. Perhaps if the village folk within Salem would've learned more if they had questioned the falsely accused instead of burn them at the stake, they would never howl answers, only pain.” - Ferdinand Lawlor

“ Perhaps we have damned ourselves, but oh well, this is a world damned to Hell, so what is a damned man in a world that's already on fire?” - Ferdinand Lawlor

“ I've learned Heaven is a right, and we've lost it.” - Ferdinand Lawlor

"The end of a rope can either be a saving grace or the thing that kills a man. I've been on both sides of the spectrum, swinging from the gallows of my own sin and pulled to shore by people who care to forgive me.” - Eduardo Villifex

“ I'm not a good man, anymore. I used to be, as most did, but my heart twisted black and pain is all I know these days. But not because I'm in it, because I cause it.” - Eduardo Villifex

"Dis is a long bloody road I walk, dere ain't no end fo' me, just my enemies. So beware me pale red truck and 'eart filled with a desire fo' vengeance, because on dis road dere's corpses litterin' da highway and ain't none'a em gon' be me.” - Randall Lancaster

“I went through da stages'a grief, but dey forgot ta mention da last fokin' one. Anger.” - Randall Lancaster

“ I'm cold as ice, but me 'eart burns wif'a flame so fierce it puts Hell ta shame.” - Randall Lancaster

"I'm on a stage, the audience claps and cheers, but only for my death. I swing from gallows made up of the pain I've faced, I'm choking on my past, kicking air beneath me in a desperate attempt to save myself from this noose. And yet here I am, sputtering up all this darkness in my history.” - Hermann Pastel

“ I am a man, I have never been Pinocchio, and I never needed Jipedo or the Blue fairy to make me a real boy. So oh Mister Kalarook, you are not the whale who swallowed me whole, you are no puppet master, you are a man, and thus you will bleed like one.” - Hermann Pastel

"In a town of wolves, crying wolf will only get you torn to pieces.” - Sav Gothenburg

“ I am no killer, and so I shalt not use this blade for sheep, but instead it shall remain clean until the wolf who tore into me is in front of me with his empty eyes and bloodstained smile.” - Sav Gothenburg

“ I know what he did in the dark, I know what he made in the dark, after all, he made his undoing.” - Sav Gothenburg

“ This world is not so fond of those who're different, I've watched as my father cut men and women down for defying his belief, and though I have escaped him, I have not escaped the memory, of him. I can still see his empty eyes and his bloodstained blade. I will never be whole, because the hauntings of him still plague me.” - Victoria Vaxwington

“ New York is a graveyard of those who committed the crime of being themselves.” - Victoria Vaxwington

“ I have learned sometimes angels must fall so devils no longer fly, sacrifices must be made so the enemy is put at a disadvantage that will lead to their demise in the future, but I do not play a game of chess, I do not put forth my pawns to become Queen's Gambit. I'd much rather call Stalemate then let someone who fights for me, die for me.” - Victor Da Ville

“ This world is full of devils who want to watch angels be torn from the sky on bloodied wings, and so I bare these teeth of mine and scowl at the sky, because in a world of devils, one must become the leviathan.” - Victor Da Ville

“ I am a man of justice, karma to those who have spilt innocent blood, I am a devil to all those who seek hellfire, and refuge for all who seek warmth.” - Victor Da Ville

"When you love someone so much, you know when you have to let them go. Even if only for a small while, it still pains you to do so. My darling Lizbeth, oh how it pained her to see me slink into the night with the stars, but when I returned to her, as the sun always does when it sinks, we danced under the rays of sunshine that slathered across our beautiful dance of shared love.” - Corrie Vendowoft

“ She's beautiful in all her broken pieces, we've both lead lives that left us shattered, but together we molded this glass into a wonderful puzzle that painted a picture of us, and us alone.” - Corrie Vendowoft

“ It is dangerous, to love someone so completely that you'd put your life on the line for them, but so long as I live in danger with her, I will always accept it.” - Corrie Vendowoft

"I could say my life is almost like a photograph, frame by frame I see the beauty through the lenses of love. Snapshots of this love I have force the pain out of my smile, all I know these days is a fiery passion for the woman I stride underneath the sun with, in her arms I feel so complete, so loved in a world that tried to make me hate.” - Lizbeth Samwick

“ I love Corrie, it's not just something I feel in my heart or my mind, but something that trickles down to my very soul and redefines who I am. I fought my desire for so long, I said to myself "She can't be yours, by God she can't." But when she smiled and ran a hand through my hair I knew, by God she's mine. “ - Lizbeth Samwick

“ I would dance underneath the stars with that woman, follow her to the ends of the Earth and charge into a burning building if it mean saving her.” - Lizbeth Samwick

"We yearn for an answer to existence, but I think it's a simple one. To exist is to simply breathe, but the meaning to life is to love the world, as it has always loved you.” - Sabu Thorn

“ Nature has never been sinful, everything in nature has a reason to be there, the cycle of kill or be killed is only relevant for predators, and we were never wolves.” - Sabu Thorn

“ This world was never cruel, we just blame it for it's naturalities, you can not blame a wolf for snatching it's prey, and you can not blame nature for its defense mechanisms.” - Sabu Thorn

"I find that condemning love will only condemn he who damns it. Something so Heavenly and divine could never be sinful, why damn something as beautiful and complex as love? How much hate must you hold in your heart to despise something that never had to do with you?” - Abby Malroodge

“ The only one who can change me, is me.” - Abby Malroodge

“ Where would you pull your strength from if you've never had to be strong? Where would you pull your bravery from if you never knew what it was to be scared? Ya can't truly know what it is to live without a little bit of struggle.” - Abby Malroodge

“ Life isn't awful, moments are, remember this, because it might save you when all seems lost.” - Abby Malroodge

“ We're stars, shimmering in the dead of night, so twinkle on my friend, twinkle on. The world was made for you, so shine." - Abby Malroodge

"I'm not strong because of my past, I'm strong because of my choices, I am not strong because people hurt me, I'm strong because I rose up despite what they did.” - Morgan Mittel

“ I'd rather trek forward than look back, the future is where I'm headed, so why dwell on the past?” - Morgan Mittel

"The only things that've kept me alive are hope, and myself.” - Obi Zenton

“ I've been through plen'y, can't really kill my spirit, because it's always ragin' with some sort of flame that fuels me. Love, hate, anger. All of these things keep me goin', I spose I'm a mix of different emotions that keep my heart beatin'.” - Obi Zenton

“ I'm not just gonna lie down and die quietly, I'm a fighter, a survivor, always have been, and nuffin's gonna change that, nuffin'.” - Obi Zenton

“ I've already faced the world, so what makes you think I can't face you?” - Obi Zenton

“ I look up to the Heavens and pray, "Lord, please save me, we're all damned these days, save me." But all I've been hearing is the dying cries of men fighting for no real purpose.” - Zelene Clifforde

“ We are not wolves, we're human, why don't we act as such?” - Zelene Clifforde

“Savages with bloodstained smiles haunt me.” - Zelene Clifforde

“ People just don't understand, get in the way of history, you become it.” - Richmond Venwokbridge

“ The hounds of Hell could chase me down and I'd face them with a bloodstained blade and sins painted the color red on my sleeve.” - Richmond Venwokbridge

“ I have blood on my name, I'm practically a death omen.” - Richmond Venwokbridge

“ You can't tear my roots from this wicked family tree, because they'll wrap around your throat and swing you from the gallows of my dynasty.” - Richmond Venwokbridge

“ I prayed to the Heavens that she'd come back, she had to be alive. But as I looked to the sky the only answer I ever got was clouds shifting and the sun baring down on me. My mother was my hero, and they say we mimic our heroes, so might I one day bleed like her?” - Ariella Soro

“ If God was real why would he shatter a believer such as I? I used to say Amen, I used to get on my knees and pray. But all that ever got me was the rubble of my crumbled faith asphyxiating me.” - Ariella Soro

"I've dragged buried truths from the dark into the light kicking and screaming, but who ever knew the truth had claws and would tear into me like a lion feasting on a gazelle? How was I to possibly fathom the truth ripping into me just as karma rips into those who've done wrong?” - Lana Peixoto

“ I've always brandished this heart of mine and a pen. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, so why does blood spill while I write of tragedy?” - Lana Peixoto

“This world has stabbed so many knives in my back, and somedays I wonder how I haven't bled out, but the blood trickling down my jacket blends in with the black leather. Because I suppose in a world where the truth is a crime, telling the truth makes you villainous.” - Lana Peixoto

“A man I knew once told me we're all strong in our own right, its what we do with the strength that matters. But how am I to be strong when all it ever got me was beaten into pavement and whipped with the scars of a thousand bloodstained lies?” - Alaina Crossbellow

“Fear the woman with everything left to lose, because she'll fight like hell to keep it that way.” - Alaina Crossbellow

"If love is a battlefield, I'll grab my rifle and go to war. After all, I'd do anything for the woman I love, I'd catch bullets or sling em, I'd kick ass or get my ass kicked, if you love someone, you fight for them, it's as simple as that, really.” - Rachel Vandemann

“ Isn't it beautiful, to be so masterfully intertwined with another that their heartbeat becomes a melody and their smile a song?” - Rachel Vandemann

“ I stare into bloodshot eyes, alvawys vondering how zese hands are my own, zey have spilt so much blood, vatched men go down in spurts of red from zis Tommy gun I sling over my shoulder.” - Sanders Krauss

“ Zis blood on my hands haunts me, zere iz trouble in my daydreams and vickedness in my nightmares.” - Sanders Krauss

“ I shook hands vith ze devil, vith his hatchet shimmering red under ze starless night sky.” - Sanders Krauss

"I'd rather be the final bullet in a chamber than the ones that were fired off in rage.” - Carlita Hellslinger

“ I'm not the best woman in the world, but at least I'm good enough to end you.” - Carlita Hellslinger

“ He holds my heart, this battered scarred heart is his, because I found in all my loneliness, in all my solitude, in all my anger, he loved me. He loved the ugliest parts of me, and he called them beautiful.” - Carlita Hellslinger

“ I've lived in the dark my whole life, what makes you think I don't know what lurks?” - Carlita Hellslinger

"Somedays all I can hear is the echo of my past. But I suppose the sirens of love are louder. I must confess, these scars bleed, and somedays they define me, by God do they define me. But then I remember, it's only a memory, and you have a future to live, girl, so live it.” - Sage Caesar

“ A woman showed me what it is to love, Rosie in all her beautiful strength, showed me that love is no game, there's no losers nor winners, only people in love.” - Sage Caesar

“ This world will tell you you're not worth it, you don't deserve the space you fill, but it tells lies, nasty, vile lies that poison your mind with falsehoods.” - Sage Caesar

“ Fight on, fighter, you're worth the struggle, I promise." - Sage Caesar

"I'm the scary story monsters tell their children to keep em in bed. Beware, beware, sinners of the witching hours, the Midnight Dove soars with bloodstained talons, and her prey cackles underneath a bloodstained blade.” - Elsa Todd

“ May those you've harmed whisper your deeds, may you meet me in the dead of night while my pistol is clean and my aim is true.” - Elsa Todd

“ No sinner deserves grace, so don't beg at my feet, it won't fucking save you.” - Elsa Todd

"I don't believe in normal, I don't believe in a concrete definition to humanity. Because we're all unique, in our own beautiful ways. It's ridiculous, to shackle humanity to a definition, we're all our own people, so how could we possibly define what it means to be yourself?” - Hannah

“ I'd rather be an outcast then someone I'm not.” - Hannah

“ Watchin' your own son fall from grace is tough, 'specially when you raised him ta be strong.” - Betsie Werdelstein

“ Her smile ain't like nuthin' I've ever see, I could compare her ta the sun, or a garden'a daisies and daffodils, but she weren't never just somethin' beautiful ta look at.” - Betsie Werdelstein

“ I's seen what it is, ta be so in pain, that all ya can really do is weep and hope fo' a better tomorra', but sometimes that hope is the very bullet that lodges inta your heart.” - Betsie Werdelstein

“ I could present the truth on a silver fucking platter, and people would say, "Oh how marvelous, but we prefer the lies crammed down our throats." - Marston Calinfranz

“ I must ask the question, why do people fear the truth? Lies are often sugarcoated, but dare you follow the sugar crumbs that lead to a poisoned cube of sugar? You're ants, to the powerful, being led to a poisoned demise disguised as your salvation.” - Marston Calinfranz

"They say home is where the heart is. And so my heart resides in a pitch black forest of wolves. They snarl, they howl, but to them, I am the moon.” - Haymitch Viers

“ I sympathize for the devils of this world, everyone seeks to understand them, but must realize, it is impossible. You must become him, to understand him. Walk a a thousand miles in his shoes, and see why it was that he spilt blood as if it were commonplace.” - Haymitch Viers

”A bow and arrow only draws back in preparation to fling forward. So remember, when you’re being pushed back, soon you’ll be hurtling forward at full speed.” - Cynthia Layden

“ We're all our own, beautiful in all of our uniqueness, fuck anyone who says you shouldn't be you, they don't know your mind, or your heart, so how the fuck can they judge you?” - Cynthia Layden

“ We're all our own Queens and Kings, we rule the castle of our mind and sometimes, your thoughts, the subjects, they want to swing you from the gallows, don't let them man, don't let them.” - Cynthia Layden

"In a kill or be killed world, I will never die.” - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“I made friends with my demons, they wouldn't dare bite the hand that feeds them, but to all those around them that left them starving, they have a feast.” - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ You can not, and will not, fucking kill me.” - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ This world was never cruel, but I am.” - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ In life, there are no winners, no losers, just men willing to get to the end, and those who are left on the board to rot." - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ How am I to grieve what did happen, if I always ponder, on what didn't?” - Jill Smithens

“ This heart of mine is broken, I could glug down gallons of gin an tonic, inject this poison into me, but it'll never heal my heart.” - Jill Smithens

“ I've given so many life changing advice, as a therapist I know the signs, the warnings, and what someone should do in the circumstance their mind is working against them. But if only, I could take my own advice.” - Jill Smithens

“ Ya know, they say the past is just that, but then why is it always engraved in my mind as a hieroglyphic is in a Pharaoh of old's tomb?” - Shirley Honeybadger

“ They say, to slay a monster, you too, must become one, but I believe it wouldn't be sinful if the rabbits fought back against the coyotes.” - Solstice Moone

“ I am a warrior of the sun, bounding in the pawprints of wolves with crimson claws as to follow them to their cave of slaughter, so one day they might be slain for their wickedness.” - Solstice Moone

“ We are not a bloodstained race, but history paints us as such. We waged war to gain independence, and they call us savages.” - Solstice Moone

“ Sometimes we must raise our blades, instead of our voices.” - Solstice Moone

“ I guess life isn't always gonna be perfect, because what would we do with a perfect world but ruin it?” - June Northutt

“ I spose we're all ghosts of who we were, snapshots of younger versions of ourselves, perhaps who we were is proud of who we are.” - June Northutt

“ I took Thituna's beauty and turned it into darkness, Vialdir's gifts and turned them into curses, but hail me! Hail me! I am a stature of greatness and sinful divinity!” - Destallo Starrend

“ This wicked magic, oh how dark it is, I can see it, the black glow in my veins, the dark blood that flows when I am cut in battle. But I care not, I've been corrupted, and my intention is not to turn back.” - Destallo Starrend

“ The night sky flows through my veins and the stars no longer sparkle, for they imploded and left the nebula in my ribcage.” - Destallo Starrend

“ 'Ow am I ever to know peace, if I don't know if my son, knows peace? I'm terrified of the unknown, because I have no clue what it could hold, does it perhaps hold every single truth I need ta know? Is it where my son resides, or is he in a shallow fucking grave?” - Barbara Alastair

“ I guess all I really got are my memories and the spark of a cigarette, only warmth I feel these days, is in my damn lungs, burnin' me alive from the inside. Only light I could ever reach kills me. I'm like the moth, drawn toward the flickers of fires set to burn me, but because I'm self destructive, I follow the sparks and flickers anyhow.” - Barbara Alastair

“ We have to remember, we were given life, so why not appreciate this gift we've got, huh? I'm a fixer upper, we all are, really, workin' with what we got. Our little flaws, our little quirks that make us who we are, always wonderin' if who we are is who we oughta be. But you know what? Build a castle made of of the hurt, and embrace that you survived it man, you survived it.” - Lydia Hobkins

“ This world is cruel, hellbent on breaking this soul of mine in half, but you don't break the woman with her heart on her sleeve, you don't break me, I only learn.” - Allie Jekylhead

“ This world was never meant for cruel men, people like to think we're all beasts, vying for a throne, but we're people, trying to fucking live.” - Allie Jekylhead

“ I am no barking dog, when I bark, it's a fucking warning.” - Allie Jekylhead

"I'm paralyzed by a feelin', cause all I got these days are memories that poison my bloodstream and leave me as the aftermath of Chernobyl. How am I ta be healthy, when even my heart is got damn poisoned?” - Vector Beckenheimer

“ It's hard, fearin' for the life of the woman you love cuz her mind is ill. But I guess, all I can do is fight for her, cuz she ain't never been allowed ta fight for herself.” - Vector Beckenheimer

“ Alcohol is a poison, and I'm in chronic condition these days, sippin' on poison as if it would fucking save me.” - Vector Beckenheimer

“ I'm sorry, for feeling this way. Is it perhaps demented, to be not okay? Am I a woman sinful to the core, because I have demons in my mind?” - Friella Beckenheimer

“ Life doesn't seem to treat me right, and neither does my mind.” - Friella Beckenheimer

“ My children.. I'm sorry. But I'm a bad influence, I smoke cigarettes to choke on the smoke and down pills to spit up my remaining life span.” - Friella Beckenheimer

“ I'm not much a woman, these days. Just a lost ember in the wind, and one of these days I'll snuff out. I'm the dying spark amidst ash, the last shred of a pencil used over the years and the girl no one can save, because I can't even save myself.” - Friella Beckenheimer

“ I bleed forevermore, what a shame it is, that I hold the bloodied razor and the glossy regret." - Friella Beckenheimer

“ This world is out'a fokes, but I can't be.” - Kiley Swinton

“ I've found just how demented this world is, followin' the shadows of the pine and the regrets'a the wolves. I found a cave of sinfulness, the sirens sang and beckoned me ta the ocean side where they drowned my sense of innocence, and out rose a vengeful beast by the name'a Kiley fuckin' Swinton.” - Kiley Swinton

“ Karma is fair, Karma is just, she always pays her fuckin' dues.” - Kiley Swinton

“ The birds hum, the sun rises, just not fo' me.” - Kiley Swinton

“ I used ta rule the world, at least, my own little world I could call home. But some people don't care, they'll rip the walls asunder just to reach your heart and cut it.” - Beverly Jackins

“ I've been broken, but this tiara of rust and this throne of love will never topple. My kingdom of isolation, may one day become a kingdom of two. All I need ta build an empire is my daughter, even if it's one of pillows and blankets draped over cardboard." - Beverly Jackins

“ Broken and damned, they call me. But you'd be telling the truth if you just called me, broken.” - Warren Shanaghost

“ I am a damned man in the eyes of the public, they think I tormented two young girls I knew. I'm damned if I did, damned if I didn't I suppose.” - Warren Shanaghost

“ I saw that shadowy figure, I saw that beast dressed as nothing more than a child's fantasy. What a damned creature, drunk off the light of the moon and sinning just because.” - Warren Shanaghost

“ I've done some dumb shit, sure, but haven't we all? I mean, come on, if we ain't a little wild are we really living? The answer is no, if ya were unaware. You can't just live in the boxes they've created, you gotta burst out of that box and rip it the fuck up.” - Promise Ryder

“ The world isn't against you, honestly, the world doesn't care about any of us, it's the people on Earth that do. So look around, someone loves you, someone cares. Just hold onto the little moments, cause those are the ones that really count.” - Promise Ryder

“ I've watched angels fall from blinding heights, but I went with them on burning wings, I am a circus act, forced into the cold shadows of the night.” - Jenscella Harburkens

“ Those who are different are not loved by society, they'd tie me to a stake and burn me, if they so could.” - Jenscella Harburkens

“ Psycho! They say, psycho! But I'm just a lost girl with haunted memories, why damn me when you could damn my abuser? But no, the story of the boy who cried wolf is always told, but seldom told is the tale of Jenscella, the girl who told the truth, but was never believed.” - Jenscella Harburkens

“ I'm a fool for her, I'd dance underneath a stage collapsing, or hold her hand in a battlefield.” - Zoey Shurrick

“ Just because my memories reflect pain, does not mean that is my future.” - Zoey Shurrick

“ My sister is a superhero, in my eyes. She doesn't shoot lasers from her eyes or wear a cape. She wears a suit she hates and a smile despite her past.” - Zoey Shurrick

"Way over yonder I would'a looked at my torn wings and think, by God, how far have I fallen? But now, I sit here in the tatters of my wings and realize, not every plummet ends with death.” - Connor O’Day

“ My nightmares haunt me, my sins plague me, but my love saved me.” - Connor O’Day

“ She's a soldier, and I'd say she's mine, but I think what's beautiful about her is, she's her own.” - Connor O’Day

“ I used ta be ruled by my trigger and how fast I could pull it, but nowadays, I'm defined by love, not my past, not my future. But love.” - Connor O’Day

“ So sisters, brothers and none of the above in arms, won't you join me, on this journey home? We're all so lost, and yet found by each other. We found sanctuary in each other's hearts and home in the storms of love. We are no beasts, no sinners, no saints. Just men, women and everything in-between, lookin' for a purpose on the wind, knowin' it was always family and each other." - Connor O'Day

"Life is like a painting, it gets a little messy and mistakes are made along the way, but who ever said one wrong sway of the brush ruined the piece? We're not perfect creatures, so why pretend to be?” - Jane Van Steenburg

“ I know these days sinners play as saints, but I find once you learn to differentiate the two, the wolf's smile flickers.” - Jane Van Steenburg

“ I'm a black stallion gallopin' on a path'a cobble and thorns, follow me or don't, but this world need heroes, so lets be the heroes we deserve. I don't got no cape, just my twin revolvers and some rebellious bones.” - Granville Van Steenburg

“ I got my guns, and I got my name, and I've learned that's all it takes ta survive. That and a little bit of hope.” - Granville Van Steenburg

"The sun don't shine on da soldiers, and so we learn ta accept da moon. We twist and turn, twirlin' in da moonlight in an ungraceful dance dat burns us wif' our sins. But ey, sinnin' hurts, but so does bein' da hero.” - Winfield Coleman

“Me bones are wicked, can'tcha see? I'm a cold shadow'a the man I used ta fokin' be, ever since I stepped inta the fires'a war, I knew what it was ta die, mate. You hear the story'a the boy who went ta war whole, but came out strong. But seldom told is the tale'a da soldier who walked out wif' rage in 'is eyes and a snarl on 'is lip. War is Hell, dey say, but Hell is Hell, war is war.” - Winfield Coleman

“ We're all damned nowadays, we're all sinners, and so I took it ta the highest degree. Murder'a the conscience." - Winfield Coleman

"I suppose in a world of mystery, we too are unsolved cases, and we must find who we are and search for the clues inside our hearts.” - Carlita Lorenz

“ I'm always going to stay on this road that leads to nowhere, because with those two women, I don't need a destination, just them. I believe in myself and my loves, and I'll always be a star, shining on if only to light up the night sky, to help the moon in her lovely presence." - Carlita Lorenz

“ I'm on a highway of red lights, a path of broken glass, but why not keep this dance in my stride and pride in my smile?” - Hailey Courtney

“ She's my hero, even if she feels like nothing more than a villain. I love her, she's taught me everything, to be strong, to be me, to laugh and enjoy what I have. She doesn't have a cape, she just has a chipped smile and an old tattered sweater.” - Hailey Courtney

“ I'm always gonna face the world with a smile, because if I can face a nightmare smiling, who can stop me, really?” - Hailey Courtney

"The world's a scary place, and sadly, with me in it, it's even more so.” - Keaton Devoncross

“ I'm both the cat and the dog, chasing my tail and running up a tree in cowardice, I'm not a good man, filled with such sins that they could kill any normal man, he'd jump off a cliff side, knowing what I do.” - Keaton Devoncross

“ I worry about things I shouldn't, always been an anxious child, scared of the world and scared of myself.” - Keaton Devoncross

“ Oh how wicked we are, with our claws of iron and rows of needles that prod our gums.” - Keaton Devoncross

“ We made a mockery of these commandments, thou shalt not kill, so instead we killed the mind. Thou shalt not steal, so instead we stole memories and joy. We are thieves of happiness, we stole the stars and let them blink out.” - Keaton Devoncross

“ We have destroyed the meaning of humanity, because these days we're monsters, tearing into whatever's left.” - Keaton Devoncross

"Step into the ring! You'll find here we all share one very similar trait! We wear sins on our sleeves and scars on our hearts! And here, the only way to find purpose, is to fight for it. You might die in the process, but it is a price you must be willing to pay! You are gladiators and gladiatrix's, fight, fight! Fight or die! Kill or be killed!” - Jorovany Ringmaster

“ I am Jorovany Ringmaster! Sinner of the highest degree! I wear both horns and halos, because too trick the saint, I must act like him.” - Jorovany Ringmaster

“ Blood stains the walls, ghosts fill the halls, and a mad man runs the show! You can not escape the arena, for it's always in your memory.” - Jorovany Ringmaster

“ Always was I born to be a beast of bloodied fang and crimson talon, but my heart does beat for someone, but it does not beat for the fool who dares trample the wolf. Adraina makes me feel such curious things, she protects me and says my damning acts are not so damning. She calls me fallen angel, but damned I am, and if she is by my side, damned is she.” - Maya Van Hunters

“ I do not regret what I have done, it doesn't seem to be in my bloodstream, my family tree is made up of rotten bark and branches with gallows our enemies swing from.” - Maya Van Hunters

“ Living is such a damning act, we were born so cold, so bloody. So it seems I never escaped the cycle of cruelty, and I suppose I never shall.” - Maya Van Hunters

“ As I have seen it, this bloodline ends with me, because I bare no child to continue our sinful ways. The wicked roots of my history shall fester and rot, the world will remember the Van Hunters name as a wicked one filled with sinful desires and love for a singular woman.” - Maya Van Hunters

“ I've hit rock bottom a thousand times, but I suppose all it takes to find the top is to climb.” - Rayford Gold

“ My brothers are good men, Robert and Crawford, stuck by me in my darkest times, it's hard to find people like them, who you can laugh and cry with. Some people love you only when it's light, but the ones who're true, love you even in the night. I have found so much, in this world. Money doesn't buy happiness, only friendship and love can do such a thing.” - Rayford Gold

“ I am not a bad man, just one who's made some bad choices.” - Rayford Gold

“ She saved Crawford's life, but her smile saved mine.” - Rayford Gold

“ Don't you dare damn me without knowin' my broken and hellbent past, vengeance is the only thing that drives me nowadays, I'm a broken creature of broken tusk and dented armor.” - Julie Forkroad

“ I got bullets with their names on it, Tilda, Maya, you best watch out, the monster you created is chargin', and her horns will skewer you, choke you on the blood you've spilt.” - Julie Forkroad

“ This future of mine is bloodstained, because my past is bloodstained. I can't escape all this pain because those ghostly women haunt me, their memory is damning, their existence is frightening. But I suppose, on this damned path, I became a reflection of them.” - Julie Forkroad

“ All I have left is my gun and a few empty prayers.” - Julie Forkroad

"It ain't the hatred spread that's remembered, I've learned. Yes, wicked deeds lay on the pages of history, but it's the actions that rid us of the dark, that lay in our hearts.” - Joyce Huffelsburg

“ I have saved so many little boys and girls from a life of trauma and the high risk of finding them swinging from the end of a rope for the sins of their mothers and fathers.” - Joyce Huffelsburg

“ Help people and put other's above yourself, and people will remember you as a hero, but that was never the point. It was always just to do the right thing, wasn't it?" - Joyce Hufflesburg

“ We're all fighting our own battles, whether they be physical or mental, and we gotta attain victory, or we'll never make it.” - Levanna Scorchton

“ I could make an explosion with a single match and an ocean with a single drop of water. That's just how deeply I love, if I couldn't love, I think I'd be driven to hate.” - Levanna Scorchton

"All the money in the world doesn't make one rich, but love? It'll make you the richest person in the world.” - Moriah Castelonia

“ Words can teach so much, but seldom do people speak them in meaningful ways.” - Moriah Castelonia

“ She was just another homeless woman to the world, but when I saw her, shivering on that street, flecks of snow in her golden hair, I knew I had to do something. Everyone passed her by, but if I had, I never would've been found in such a beautiful dance. She's my golden star, wise and lovely. She's taught me so much, we lived in separate worlds, I grew up with silver platters and everything I thought I needed to be happy, while she grew up with nothing but her hope and grit to carry through. Our worlds collided, and now they're so beautifully intertwined.” - Moriah Castelonia

"The question must be asked, is a church steeple dripping with the blood of the fallen still a holy scene? Or has it been scorched by the devil's flame?” - Father Goriah Thorell

“ If we're all sinful, is it such a stretch to say none of us are forgiven? Either God is forgiving and loving, or he's hateful and unforgiving.” - Father Goriah Thorell

“ There's blood on my Bible and sins sitting on the pew.” - Father Goriah Thorell

“ Such damned, and unholy things we are. Sinning with cause, and without it.” - Father Goriah Thorell

"Super heroes only exist in comics and action movies, the real heroes wear cowboy hats, flannels and are no different from you and me. Anyone can be a hero, all it takes is a little bit of will power.” - Mike Pennington

“ I never expected fatherhood to be pushed on me, so suddenly. But.. when my sister left this world.. I had to take care of her daughter, I had to take care of little Dalia. She's a smart kid, made me really proud, ya know? Some people only want her because she's smart, but I love her because she's goofy and fun, full of spirit and wisdom ain't no one ever see coming. She'll blow you away, man, she really will. With all her snark and love, she's a cute kid, and might I one day find her again.” - Mike Pennington

“ I'm no superhero, just a man who's willing to fight.” - Mike Pennington

"To a rich man, the heart is of little value, but to a poor one, it's all he has.” - Dornstecker

“ I've found New York is rampant with corruption and a darkness so smothering I sputter up the air I breathe.” - Dornstecker

“ You can send your thoughts and prayers to those who died, but it won't change a damn thing, all we can truly do is raise our voices and fight against this injustice. Staying silent to such evil only tolerates it, and I won't stand for it. I am a simple goblin, I clock into the bank at seven thirty, I do my job and hope no poor sod comes in with a gun, I clock out and feed my cat and sleep at nine o'clock sharp.” - Dornstecker

“ I have learned we're all paying the Devil's price and he is no pitch forked wielding entity, he's our politicians and our leaders hiding the blood behind their teeth with a pearly white smile. Despicable wolves, every last one of them. Hiding behind their suits and ties, with their large fancy estates.” - Dornstecker

“ We are many, and so why do we stay silent in the midst of horror? Are we to gobsmacked to do anything? Get over the shock of the situation and do something for God's sake.” - Dornstecker

"I think I need to raise my rifle ta fate and say screw you, you've been an asshole, I'm taking matters inta my own hands. Yeah, shoot fate in the heart, it ain't never been very fond of me anyway." - Church Godsel

"My misery overpowers my joy, these days." - Dale Markus

"I play with fire, but it is not I who burns." - Javier Cross

"I used ta say God is always watching, he's by you, he's by you! But now I sit and ponder, where was he when his son bled?" - Nestor Bevelricks

"We will fight until we are dead and buried, and when we are buried we will be remembered by the one's we call family, because family never forgets, friend." - Titus Hawley

"My regret is deafening, I imagine it's the only thing keeping me from hearing the cries of those I've wronged." - Simon Drogace

"He's a fool to trust me, and his family will pay dearly for his mistake."- Quentin Satchel

"If the truth is a sin, call me holy." - Quentin Satchel

"In a world with men like me peace can't exist." - Elton Seaderfault

"My sins crash on me and bury me underneath the wicked soil of my history." - Sean Gale

"So come on, call me a bad man, call me crazy, but I think, you're the crazy one, because you just pissed off Saul mother fucking Northutt, and your life span, has abruptly been cut short." - Saul Northutt

"I battled my demons, they wore plastic grins, and wielded empty promises." - Saul Northutt

"I'm a bad, bad man, walking through the fires of hell, runnin' through these pages wonderin', when the fuck do I run out of pages to tear the fuck out mercilessly?" - Saul Northutt

"We've taken five hundred steps back in this harsh dance with the darkness." - Alonzo Graves

"You trust a man with your life and you've dug your own grave." - Clayton W. Scarrberry

"Don't mistake your scars for weakness, they built you. Be proud of the strength it took to bare them without turning them on other's." - Rando Ballsy

"If my regret caught up to me vengeance would never be an option." - Dallas Lightsworth

"I see my grave error, I became a monster when my people, and most importantly my daughter needed a man they could look up too." - Bardzimi Talos

"Bob fucking Weathers, well I think that'll look real nice etched onto a tombstone." - Alastair Riseman

"How can God judge me for my sins when his sins can't be fucking counted?" - Roxane Vanderburg

"Do not speak of death as if it has seeped through your rotten skin." - Fandelhimer Bewitchasphere

"The world's filled with killers and vagabonds of Hell, guess I gotta make due with what I got and keep my pistol close." - Espifanio Vanderhoof

"These sins are heavy for those that trust me." - Michael Blomquist

"If I am ta be damned, may I burn Jasper with my fury." - Lileen Nallmorker

"The worst place I've ever resided is my memories." - Lucretia Covington

"Mother, father, forgive me. I never wanted to become a ghost haunting your memory." - Lucretia Covington

"My heart is buried in the pitch black forests in a pinewood box." - Belle Nalroma

"My troubled mind seldom brings me peace. Spose it's a wayfarin' stranger on a desolate road." - Gary Heartlock

"No one sympathizes for the devil it would seem." - Ruby Vollstale

"Revenge is a no man wins game, so here I am, losing." - Cole Milwood

"These sins at my back tell the tale of a lawful man forced to break it." - Aristead Solace

"The world has never favored the man who fights, have you ever noticed it's easier to give up than raise your fists? Easier to stay silent, than speak your mind?" - Timotheus Naziger

"The world cares not for the girl with her ferocious bark and fierce bite. And so the dog learns to become cold just as those who shied away from it." - Abaddon Whilsteila

"Fear never got me anywhere, being feared however did." - Abaddon Whilsteila

"You can not trust the wolf not to devour the lamb. So why put me in a field of peacemakers and expect me to come out without bloodstained hands?" - Caldwell Ramirez

"The world was never in your favor, ask the stars a question and you'll get howls." - Caldwell Ramirez

"The world is bathed in a wicked desire for no other reason than to dominate and conquer. These days we're repeating history and expecting a different result." - Nial Morranann

"Devils ain't wearin' no horns, brother, they got pearly white smiles and share your qualities." - Simon Rossburg

"Cold world we live in, spose all the flowers were kilt and all we're left with is the withered daffodils." - Morton Strawbellow

"Here I am, in a Hell of my own making, cause all I do is hurt myself, and Hell is repeated pain, so here I am, making my life Hell." - Ash Caesar

"People listen to words written on paper as if they were truth, they do not need to see to believe, and so all they'll ever do is ignore the truths that are spoken from the tongues of the people. You can not know truth, if all you breathe in is a lie." - Romanez Callowitz

"My mind is a prison of memories, I've lost hope to see my sunshine again, I begged the world not to take her away, she was my one and only. The star in a night sky that felt dark, but she blinked out, and all I'm left with is a photo album that depicts the memories before my daughter became a snapshot of a memory." - Darlita Romilez

"Chivalry dies when it finds war." - Joe Paquil

"I'm cursed with this never ending affliction to burn for my sins. But I spose a father's duty is to keep on fightin', if only to see his kids grow." - Marrows Redshaw

"Ain't the hate, that made me. But the love and the heart." - Samuel Bones

"I've been chasin' down my dreams since I could walk. Does Justice really think he can twist em into nightmares?" - Rodrick Taywillow

Carry on, they say, carry on. But this storm is not so merciful." - Ebenezer Vanderholt

#writing #author #characterdialogue #books #characterdevelopment #dopestuff #write

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nimmy22 · 3 years

Text

A Mistake: Chapter 7

A man and a woman, each strapped to a surgical table and naked, screaming for help. Their cries shifted from, "God, please help. Please!" to, "It's your fault, you bitch! You wanted to come to this god-forsaken town. You did this! Why am I here? I didn't want to come here. I did nothing wrong, I swear. It was all her. She kept wanting more money. She kept stealing from everyone, even our daughter."

With a bracelet authorization approval, a door slid open with a beep, revealing two staff members in yellow biohazard suits fitted with oxygen tanks and masks. One wheeled in a metal cart covered by a sterile blue drape. The cart was positioned and locked in place near the medical tables, the blue drape lifted.

The man and woman looked at the sheer size of the needles and the vails of bright purple liquid laid out neatly across the cart. Any day, they would've stolen, cheated, and lied to have the sweet relief of a drug but not like this. The irony was unwelcome.

Their wide eyes stared unblinking, their pleading lips forming incoherent words. The nightmare refused to let them go, no matter how hard they bit their tongues, tasting metal. Reality sunk in harder than the restraints digging into their raw bruised flesh. Soon the woman became delirious before fainting while the man sported a growing wetness between his legs, dripping onto the floor of the unadorned white room. The only colors in the room were the yellow of the suits, the dark brown urine, and the Umbrella logo in the center of the floor.

One of the staff members turned to the camera in the corner of the room before speaking, "Experiment number 9932-Code X, subjects are a 43-year-old female and a 51-year-old male. Treatment with Serum X41 injected intramuscularly at the deltoid site. "

The contents of the syringes were injected into the upper arm of the two test subjects. They didn't so much as blink an eye as the male begged for his life and questioning their humanity.

"Mama... please, I'll be a good boy. Please let me out. Mama..." the 51-year-old man wailed, digging his nails into the leather restraints. They retreated as fast they entered, sealing the door behind them.

"Experiment in progress, do not enter experimentation chamber number 451 due to a biohazard element in containment." The voice of a female AI sounded through the speakers, a warning to all employees on the level.

William's eyes glowed as he watched through the reinforced glass, his thumb repeatedly pressing the ballpoint pen in his hand. He leaned forward, licking his lips as the serum began taking effect. The subjects began convulsing against the restraints, their limbs spasming as their entire genome was remodeled.

With a scream, the bones of the female cracked. Her teeth tumbled out of her bleeding gums, muscles and tendons ruptured. She burst out of the restraints and threw herself against walls, pounding with bloody fists as she screeched. The serum made work of replacing her organs and connective tissue, reforming her into something stronger, faster, and more deadly—an elegant hunter of pure carnage.

William hardly paid attention to the male whose body exploded, spraying the entire room with innards. Nothing remained to identify him as having once been human. Smelling the fresh blood, the female lapped the bloodied walls with an impressively long tongue slithering out of a mouth layered with sharpened teeth. With skinless appendages, she explored the room, climbing the walls and walking on the ceiling. It wasn't long before instinct led her to devour what remained of her husband.

"Excellent! We are making progress. This is the first subject to survive injection with Serum X41 without becoming a pile of liquefied tissue. Increasing the concertation of the base chemical allowed the body to become more receptive to the serum. I can't wait to Annette and Albert know. I'm thinking of calling this project black widow." He babbled to himself, feeling like he deserves a pat on the back. All those nights spent bent over his desk were finally paying off.

Sparing one last glance at the remains of the male, William frowned. "Looks like your mama didn't quite hear you but thank you for offering yourself to science. Your contribution is greatly appreciated." William said as he began recording the experiment's findings into a clipboard adorned with the Umbrella logo. William loved making progress in his research. It flooded his brain with dopamine better than a night of good sex or winning the lottery.

------------------------- It had been three days since the last time she had seen Wesker, but she heard his voice plenty enough, calling her for hourly updates while she was alone with Sherry in his house. He didn't personally pick her up after school. Instead, He sent a very kind elderly driver under the assumption that he was employed by her' parents' to drop her off 'home.' Both were so extremely far from reality. Thankfully, the man seemed busy playing cops and robbers. She was left alone with Sherry, and while she was in a more relaxed mood, she didn't dare go exploring the property belonging to the devil. The less she knew about him and his dealings, the looser the noose around her neck.

Her actual parents were nowhere to be found. Still, she wasn't worried. Aside from the whole situation with Wesker, these were the most peaceful days she'd seen in a long time, in fact… ever. The bruises could finally heal without the addition of new ones. Her parents most likely realized the extent of their financial situation and made a break for it. The loan sharks were not going to wait forever and will soon take more forceful actions. As much as it hurt Cara, she believed they left her behind to distract the collectors. They had done something similar years back in a town not too different from Raccoon, but at least they took her with them. It worked once, and they likely believed it will again. She decided to worry about that later, placing her problems on hold. A break was much needed.

Putting on her nicer pair of sneakers and her least washed-out pair of jeans, Cara regarded herself in the mirror and opted to leave her hair down. Wondering whether she should take the cellphone, Cara spent ten minutes arguing with herself. With a heavy sigh, she stuffed it into her back pocket, hoping to 'accidentally' smash the damn thing while sitting down extra hard. What would Wesker say? You have a big butt? Don't sit down?

Today Cara was hanging out with Rick, a mutual friend. They never hung outside school before, especially on their own, and she was a little nervous about things getting awkward. Due to Cara's 'full-time job' after school, they decided to skip a few classes and go out for a hike in the Arkley mountains. This would be her most needed change of scenery, and she may walk away with a good friend.

For Cara, the past few days have been a routine, wake up, go to school, go to Wesker's home to watch Sherry, and then come home to sleep only to do it all over again the next day. Things have been calm, and so Claire's suspicion turned off its headlights, but she often complained they couldn't hang out as much.

Cara tried inviting Claire to head out with them, but she turned the offer down, smiling from ear to ear. She hinted to Cara that Rick might have caught some feelings for her and that the courage to make a move required they be alone under the right circumstances. Guys and girls alike often confessed in the Arkley mountains. It became an omen of good luck for couples to stay together longer. Of course, that was total bullshit as many of those same couples break up soon after. However, it's nice to have hope in a relationship, something Cara never experienced. She decided that if Rick did indeed liked her that she would at least give things a try.

She was shy about Rick picking her up from the bad side of town and instead promised to meet him by the start of the Arkley trails. By the time she arrived, he was already there, standing by a pickup truck in the trail parking lot. Cara smiled, catching him in the midst of fixing his brown hair and testing the smell of his breath in a cupped hand. Why hadn't she ever noticed him? He seemed like such a pleasant guy.

When he finally noticed her standing behind him in the reflection, he spun around, almost stumbling over his feet. "T-there was something stuck in my hair, I swear," He stuttered, scratching his neck while his ears roasted tomato red.

"Whatever you say, pretty boy," Cara laughed, feeling her heart grow lighter with every minute. She had a good feeling today will be very meaningful.

The two walked along a path marked with bright orange ribbons tied to the trees. They passed dozens of signs warning hikers against straying off the path, many of which were covered with graffiti. All around them, birds chirped, and strangely, a few crows cawed as they hovered over the trees.

Walking around a growth of poison Ivy, they talked about random silly things and the distant future. Cara was glad to find herself closer to another person. Real genuine friends were a shortage in her life. She always had to be to one extending a hand, reaching out first. It was nice for a change that someone else extended their hand.

"You know, Cara, despite all the things I kept hearing about you from everyone, I knew they were wrong. They judged you without knowing shit about you."

"What…kind of stuff. And who is talking about me?" Cara's voice held a hard edge, her feet taking a pause. With furrowed brows, her eyes followed Rick as he walked ahead before noticing she stopped. This was the first time Cara heard of any rumors concerning her. She never made any enemies, keeping herself relatively unnoticed at school. Cara felt betrayed, wondering if Claire heard the rumors too, and if so, why hasn't she said anything? Why does she have to hear it from Rick?

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's nothing important. What matters is that I'm on your side." He spoke quickly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Rick, what are they saying about me," Cara walked closer to him, her eyes piercing through him.

"You'll be upset," His eyes kept avoiding Cara, settling on a hole in his shoe.

"I can take it. I just want to know what was said. Please Rick."

"Ah shit��um… they've said that someone saw you walking on Chandler street where all the…dealers and escorts hang. They said you offered to give blow jobs for five bucks to some older men behind a dumpster. That the bruising on your arm because you inject heroin, that your parents pimp you out to-"

Cara expelled a breath, her eyes misting rapidly. "No! that not true. I didn't do that. Why would anyone say something like that? I'm a fucking babysitter, ok? I'm not this, I'm not…my mom." She turned on her heel, wanting to get out of there. "I'm not like her." She repeated, clenching her fists. They didn't have the right to spin stories about her, turning her into a lunchtime gossip storyline. It wasn't fair. She was wrong. She couldn't handle it. She was always pathetic, always crying.

Rick caught up to Cara, grabbing her shoulder to spin her around to face him. "I'm so sorry Cara, I knew it was going to upset you, and I still told you about it. God, I'm so stupid." He said, wrapping his arms around Cara. She was caught by surprise and tried to push him away. Eventually, she found herself leaning against him, letting out a sigh as he stroked her hair.

"It's ok Rick, I'm glad you told me. They're just stupid rumors. I don't know why I'm over- " He kissed her open mouth midsentence, softly at first but quickly added more pressure. His hands fisted into her shirt, forcing her closer. She felt the bile rise quickly.

Cara's eyes were wide open as she tried pulling back, but he held her tightly. She tried forcefully turning her head, but his hand reached up to hold her chin in a painful vice grip, his tongue demanding entrance against her lips. She whimpered, clenching her teeth shut. Her lack of participation agitated him, and he grabbed her arm with a bruising tightness. Cara cried out in pain, and he took the opportunity to force his tongue into her mouth.

Cara wanted to shout for help, her eyes darting around the forest, encircling them. Still, they were completely alone, save for a couple of crows weeping among the trees. They seemed closer than before, sensing a meal in the making.

Allowing his tongue full entrance, Cara bit down as hard as she could on it, gagging against the metallic taste. Rick shoved her away, groaning in pain as blood spilled from the corner of his mouth.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Cara spat the blood in her mouth before shouting. Her eyes burned into him as she backed away.

"I believed in you despite everyone else. I told you I was on your side, and you hurt me. Do you know how many times I defended you? How many times I got picked on for simply standing beside you? You led me to think that you felt something, and then you hurt me." He growled, nursing his tongue in his hand.

Cara let out a pained breath, closing her eyes before turning her head away. She replayed what happened in her mind, wondering where things went wrong. She said she will give him a chance but, this was wrong, so very wrong.

"Rick, stop this. I appreciate what you did for me, but you made me uncomfortable. I did not enjoy that, I did not consent to that, but you touched me anyway."

"How much would it take you to fucking notice me? I've tried being Mr. Fucking nice for two years, Two fucking years. But you never look at me differently." Rick snarled, clenching his fists. He unleashed his rage against the nearest tree punching it repeatedly. He did not stop the assault even as his knuckles split, and the blood flowed freely, staining the bark.

"Rick, please stop before you do something you'll regret," Cara whispered softly, reaching for his bloody hand.

"I will make you want me!"

Cara barely had a second to process things before a rock made a disorienting contact with her head. She saw an assortment of colors and shapes on her way to the muddy earth.

Rolling on her stomach, she tried to push herself up, but everything was spinning, or maybe she was spinning. She rested her cheek against the mud, willing the world to stop shifting. Blood trickled down her face, and she had to blink it out of her eyes, unable to wipe it away. Her limbs felt as if weights were tied to them, giving gravity a greater pull.

Cara fought to stay awake, drifting in and out of the dark, faintly aware of being dragged by her foot through rough earth. It scratched her exposed skin, forcing the back of her shirt to ride up.

#albert wesker #Albert Wesker X OC #resident evil #oc

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theveryinsignificantpotato · 5 years

Text

Reunited

Good Omens! Crowley x reader

TW: I lil gore and I called Gabriel a Bitxh, I describe what I think falling from heaven in the GO universe would look like, so if you don’t want to read about flesh melting in Sulfur (Which boils at a temperature almost 700º above that of human skin ;) yeah, I do research and know weird things) you prolly shouldnt read for your own sake

I had wayyyy too much fun making this, I think you’ll like!

(Holy shit, this is 5 pages long in google docs 0-0)

—-

"You're done." Gabriel says, staring at me with cold eyes, he was only a few feet away, standing with his arms crossed

"I'm sorry?" I ask, looking up at him from whatever I was doing

"Head office has caught wind of your comments at the almighty, might I remind you of what happens when you ask things like that?" He says coldly

"You're going to kick me out for one question?" I ask, my jaw dropping "Angels haven't fallen in forever, you have no idea what they will do to me! You can't do that!" I say, anger resonating through my vocal chords as I speak

"That isn't my problem. Come with me, you know what happens if you resist." He replies, turning on his heels and beginning to walk away

I sigh, tears welling in my eyes as I abandon what I was doing to follow the archangel, not wanting to invoke the wrath I would surely be met with if I didn't.

I waited until he had me at the edge, where all the others had fallen thousands upon thousands of years ago before saying anything, he was ready to send me off quietly, no ceremony or anything, just a quiet riddance of the angel hardly anyone liked - not since Raphael, anyway.

"You know, I never minded you so much, Y/n. Pity you have to go out like this." He says, looking at me with some form of pity

"You know Gabriel…" I begin sweetly, picking my head up to look at him "You're a real bitch." I finish, clenching my fist and straight up decking him as hard as I can in the nose before diving off the edge.

He screamed angrily and I looked back up at him, giving a small wave as I felt my body gain momentum.

I'm not sure I really processed my actions before going through with them, the demons weren't likely to just accept me outright, I would probably just be outcast, or killed or something. I couldn’t be sure of anything right now, not even sure if they would let me call myself a demon at all once I got to hell. All I know is that I’m falling right now, my body feels weightless and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

My wings unfurled as a natural response to falling only to be snapped backwards by the force of the wind, causing me to scream in pain as the bones cracked, feeling the white feathers peel from my wings. I fell for what seemed like hours, the pain in my wings continuing throughout the time, and I cried, sobs racking through my form as I left a trail of tears falling behind me.

When I finally made it to hell my body hit what was the most painful landing imaginable, the scent of sulfur invaded my senses and I felt my angelic flesh begin to melt in the boiling liquid. It had to have been well over 800 degrees, and I was almost surprised that it didn’t just end my existence immediately upon coming into contact with my body.

I screamed, I screamed as loud as I could before my head went under, and I felt the liquid flood my mouth and lungs, destroying my cells inside and out of my body as I thrashed around desperately. I don’t care at this point what demon hears me, all I want is for someone, anyone, to help me end this pain.

Apparently someone did hear me because it wasn’t long before a hand grabbed my arm from under the liquid, pulling me onto the edge. I didn’t have the strength to move or even open my eyes when they finally had me out of it, my body heaved as I coughed up the liquid that had entered my lungs.

“I’m dying” I sob raspily when I finally catch my breath “He said I was being cast out, but he just wants me to die.” My body curls up on itself, pulling myself into the fetal position next to this demon.

“You aren’t dying.” He says, looking at his hand, which was badly damaged from reaching into the sulfur to pull me out “Your angelic cells are, the last of your powers are going to go into creating new cells for you- demonic ones. The worst of the process is over.” he explained

“So they’re taking everything from me…” I say dejectedly, not moving my body

He looks up slightly “Yup.” He replies, popping the ‘P’

We sit there in silence for a while, him staring out at the sulfur pool while I raspily try to catch my breath. After several moments in a painful silence I finally find the strength to sit up and open my eyes, he took my arm with his good hand to help ease me to a sitting position. The first thing I noticed about him was his hand, covered in what had to be third-degree burns almost up to his elbow.

My angelic instincts kicked in upon seeing it, and I gently take his hand in both of my own, causing him to jump. “What are you doing?” he asks, staring at my hands

“You helped me, all I’m doing is returning the favor.” I say, directing whatever power I had left to healing his hand, and his skin quickly began to repair itself “There.” I say gently, releasing his hand from mine

“It’s going to take you longer to heal now, you really can’t be going around doing things like that down here.” He reminds, and I can feel his gaze on me

“I know,” I mumble, staring out at the yellow liquid that had taken away all of my angelic properties including my skin itself and sigh dejectedly “So you’re a demon, then?” I ask

“I am.”

“So what made you decide to help me? Aren’t you supposed to not care about anyone else? Chaotic Evil and all that?” I ask

He takes a moment to come up with a response “I… I don’t know. I was just sort of drawn to do it.” he finally says

I think over his response for a moment, deciding that he too felt extremely familiar, his voice above all else. It didn’t take me long after that to come to the realization that I haven’t seen this demon’s face even once in the amount of time we’ve been talking. I pivot my body so I’m facing him, and I freeze immediately when my eyes meet his face.

He stares at me in confusion, slits going down his ever-golden iris’ in a snake-like manner that was unfamiliar to me. He looked so familiar yet so not, (I suppose several thousand years will do that to someone) his red hair being the thing that was the most striking - I only ever knew one angel with that pretty Copper hair of his… “Raphael…?” I ask quietly, reaching out to his face.

He frowns “They don’t call me that anymore.”

“What do I call you, then?”

“Crowley.” He mumbles, taking a minute to look into my eyes, he seems to be trying to come up with who I am through all the third-degree burns

“Crowley” I repeat with a smile, my first smile since falling, “Tell me you know who I am, Crowley, please.”

His eyes look over my features, taking in as much detail from my healed flesh as he could, and after a moment he seemed to remember, his jaw dropped and he leaned back slightly “y-y/n?” he asks with wide eyes

My smile grows wider and I nod happily

A wide grin grows on his features as he continues staring at me “I never thought I’d see you again!” He cheers, leaning back towards me to wrap me in his arms happily

Thankfully, at this point most of my torso had been restored, so it didn’t hurt too badly, even when I returned it tightly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to keep him close to me. “I didn’t think so either, but I am so glad…” I trail off, leaning back from his embrace

He releases me from his grip, giving me a small frown “But you’re fallen now, what happened?” he asks

I shrug “Gabriel said I made comments at the almighty, but all I really did was ask a question- I don’t even remember what it was.” I explain

He frowns “Damn, they haven’t dropped any of you angels down here in forever, I didn’t think they would be so tetchy.” he comments, earning a nod from me "you're the only one, right?"

I nod once more in reply "it was quiet, but I'm sure Gabriel has told everyone about it by now." I reply

He raised a brow "he's never been one to boast, don't tell me that's changed."

I shake my head "I mean that because I may or may not have called him a bitch and punched him before I fell, he'll have to explain the broken nose to his colleagues." I say, earning a loud laugh from Crowley

"You haven't really changed, have you? You've wanted to punch him since day one." He stands up and offers me a hand “I think we should get a drink.”

I take it with a smile, now the majority of my skin has returned from the neck down, with the exception of my wings, and I can do things without excruciating pain. "I believe you're right." I say with a smile, allowing him to pull me to my feet "But Raph- I mean Crowley, I've never been on Earth before, won't my lack of skin and torn up wings draw attention?" I ask worriedly

He smiles at me “Humans are almost always oblivious, don’t worry so much” He replies, snapping his fingers

A second later I find myself sitting next to him in a really nice Bentley car, Queen playing softly over the radio as he began driving. I was startled by the transition, but I quickly relaxed, “Where are we going?” I ask, frowning

“My flat, it’s safer to talk there.” He replies

“You have a flat on Earth? Does hell know about that?” I ask, and he only shrugs in response

“They don’t really care too much, most of the demons probably won’t even notice you in all honesty. If you stick with me I’ll show you how everything works, alright?” He asks

I nod “Alright. Thank you, Crowley.”

He nods and spares me a glance “You’re skin is growing back, I can almost recognize you.” He says with a slight smile

I gently bring a hand up to my face, finding that the flesh surrounding my mouth and upper jawline had returned almost fully, and I can’t help but smile a little.

Crowley kept to his word, for the next few years he would teach me how to navigate hell, to keep my head low, and what demons I should avoid. He was very kind to me, and honestly even getting the chance to see him again is all I could ask for.

I knew him long before he fell, we were best friends, practically inseparable. We crafted the stars together while talking and sharing ideas in almost all moments of the beginning, I had even began to catch feelings for him. The only reason I didn’t fall with him is because Lucifer didn’t like me all that much, so I didn’t hang out with those who became the early demons.

More than six thousand years since I last saw them and I suppose I had forgotten how much I truly missed y/n, they were always bright and fun and after a few years of time with her as a demon I wouldn’t want to go back to not having her around. She has been staying with me at my flat for most of her time here, and we spend a lot of time together between dinners with Aziraphale (Whom I learned was actually one of their few friends in heaven, the greeting between the two of them was quite adorable, especially when y/n’s face lit up happily upon seeing him and she ran to give him a bear hug) and drives in the bentley. Driving with her will forever be my favorite thing, she’s gotten attached to the old CDs in the bentley (and we all know what happens to those ;)) so I’ll often find myself being suckered into going on a drive to nowhere in particular just so we will end up singing along with Freddie Mercury really loudly and horribly. It’s now my favorite thing ever. She might be my favorite thing ever.

Now Armageddon is approaching and I can't help but fear that it's going to be over for both of us. We’re doing all we can, y/n, Aziraphale, and I, but sometimes I worry that it won’t be enough. I won’t be able to be with her in hell like I do on Earth… and yes, I mean _be with her_ be with her.

Aziraphale suggested I kiss her, or at the very least tell her - but I’m not sure…

We were in the flat when it finally happened, watching some movie with Crowley on the couch and I dared lay my head on his shoulder. Armeggedon was only just short of seven years away and I wanted to make sure I had the chance to get as close to Crowley as I could just in case we didn’t make it out. I couldn’t help the relieved sigh that escaped my lips when he smiled, looping his arm around me and lacing his fingers through my hair as I cuddled up closer to him.

As the movie progressed we seemed to get closer and closer, beginning with his head resting on mine, sharing a throw blanket between us, and him shifting his or my weight as an excuse to pull me nearer to him, and by the end of the movie I felt like I was practically in his lap - not that I minded it so much.

When the credits began to roll, he snapped his fingers to turn the TV off, and I found myself not wanting to move from him, “Can we just sit here for a while?” I ask, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck

“I was going to ask you that.” He replies with a quiet chuckle, leaning down to rest his nose on the side of my face, giving me gentle eskimo kisses on my cheek, “Look at me, y/n.” he requests

“I can see you.” I reply with a giggle, turning my head towards his so we end up nose-to-nose, and I can feel his breath hit my skin gently. It doesn’t take long before he finally tilts his head to the side so he can catch my lips with his, and I can’t help but smile as I close my eyes and kiss kim back. Thousands of years I have wanted this, from long before he fell I have dreamed of this moment, I had thought all hope was lost when he did, and against all odds, here I am finally. I sit up in his lap to get a better angle, draping my legs gently over his and wrapping my arms around his neck. I feel his arms wrap around my waist to hold me as close as he can before pulling away to rest his forehead on mine.

“I need to tell you something.” he says in a whisper, his golden serpent eyes staring deep into my e/c ones

I return his gaze, “Tell me everything, Crow.” I say softly

“I love you, y/n. I’m not supposed to, but I really love you,” he says softly, and I can see the honest adoration in his eyes as he speaks

I smile wide “I love you too,” I say happily “Crowley I have loved you almost literally forever.” I peck his lips one more time, pulling my blanket around both of our shoulders'

He grinned and hugged me close, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a long while.

#good omens crowley x reader #crowley x reader #good omens #ineffable husbands #fallen angel #oneshot #fluffy #go!crowley x reader #david tennant gives me life #good omens imagine #david tennant #reader insert

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featherquillpen · 5 years

Text

good omens / good place

“I’m completely on board for this Soul Squad idea,” Chidi says, “seeing as it’s way better than the alternative of succumbing to the existential terror, but I still have some questions. Like how? How are we supposed to push a soul on track from the bad to the good? We’re a demon, four hell-bound humans, and a – a Janet! Isn’t there some book we could read?" Eleanor starts one of her full-body eyerolls, so Chidi course-corrects. “An expert we could ask. Are there any, I don’t know, guardian angels on Earth trying to nudge people in the right direction?”

“Each side only gets to have one agent stationed on Earth,” Michael says. “I’ve been warned to stay away from the one from my side, they say he’s gone cuckoo after six thousand years on Earth. We could try the other one, though he might have also lost his marbles. Janet, where’s the Good Place agent on Earth?”

“I can’t live-update his position while I’m on Earth,” Janet says. “But according to my records, the Principality Aziraphale spends 82% of his time at A.Z. Fell & Co. Rare and Antiquarian Books, Soho, London, England.”

Tahani clapped her hands together. “Oh! Does this mean we get to go to London?”

“The only angel living on Earth owns a bookshop,” Chidi says, his eyes lighting up like he’s been promised a thousand chocolate-dipped orgasms. “That makes so much sense.”

“Ugh,” Eleanor says. “Of course the only angel on Earth is a boring nerd. Why can’t angels be hot like demons?” When the others all stare at her, she throws her hands up. “Oh, come on. Michael’s a silver fox. I’m just saying. I’m not gonna make it weird or anything. (1)”

Nobly deciding to ignore this, Michael says, “Fine, we’ll ask him. But if he tries to smite me, I plan to run like a chicken.”

It takes a three-hour stakeout to catch the bookshop opening. Chidi, Jason, and Tahani spend the whole time trying to come up with a list of the questions they want to ask a real, actual angel (2). Eleanor doesn’t want to ask him anything. She knows she’s not going to the Good Place, so why work herself into one of her death spirals of jealousy?

Chidi makes a beeline for the aisles as soon as they walk into the bookshop. “Ooooh! Is that a signed Slavoj Zizek?”

A man who Eleanor could only describe as a cross between an English professor and a historical re-enactor descends on Chidi from the back of the bookshop like the wrath of God. He watches Chidi like he might try chewing or humping the book instead of reading it. He says frostily, “Can I help you?”

“Show me your philosophy section,” Chidi says, in the tones of a starving man asking for a single potato chip.

“Chidi, please focus,” says Michael, stepping forward. “This is the angel we’re here to talk to.”

The bookshop guy’s eyes widen when he looks at Michael. “Crowley!” he calls. “One of your side is here! Could you please ask him to go away?”

“WHAT!” cries a voice from the back of the shop.

“Now, we don’t need to get nasty,” Michael says. “This isn’t an official visit. I have four humans and a Good Janet with me, see?”

“A Good Janet? My, I’ve only ever heard of you from the architects, I’ve never seen one of you before... your design is quite ingenious, my dear.”

“Thank you!” says Janet, beaming back at him. That leads to more beaming, in a feedback cycle of completely genuine smiles that’s starting to give Eleanor a headache just looking at it.

“He’s really an angel?” Jason said to Michael in a way he probably thought was subtle.

“Yes,” Michael says, squinting. “He’s actually kind of blinding to look at if you can see in all twenty dimensions.”

“Dope!” Jason says, grinning. “The bible study teacher at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School always said that gay people can’t go to heaven, and I told her that was stupid and got detention. I was totally right!”

“Jason...” Tahani begins, glancing at the angel. “He might just be overenthusiastic about vintage clothing.” Eleanor rolls her eyes at Tahani. Angel or no angel, this guy is obviously gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide (3).

That's when six feet of bad ideas squeezed into a pair of black skinny jeans appears in the aisle behind the angel. “Keteb? Is that you? What are you doing on Earth with a Good Janet?”

Guh. Eleanor was totally right about demons being hot.

“Please, I go by Michael these days,” Michael says. “When you have to deal with condemned souls all the time, it’s so much easier if you use a name that sounds familiar.”

“You named yourself after an angel? You have some cheek, you have.”

“This is all a very touching reunion,” Tahani says, “but we do have some rather important questions about salvation and the immortal soul, so if there’s some place where we all might gather for tea...”

That finally seems to break the angel out of his endless cycle of glowing smiles and compliments with Good Janet, which were getting so intense that Eleanor’s eyes were starting to water a little just seeing it from the side. “An excellent idea. There’s a table for eight miraculously free at a lovely cafe down the street.”

(more to come? probably. stay tuned.)

Footnotes:

(1) She didn’t make it weird, but Michael felt decidedly weird sitting next to her the whole flight to London. Did she want to touch her wet mouthparts to his? He hoped not.

(2) Jason wanted to know why angels help baseball teams win but not football teams.

(3) This was fine by Eleanor, who was herself gayer than a sleepoverful of middle school girls practicing how to kiss.

#good omens #the good place #crossover #my fic

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kurtty-drabbles · 4 years

Text

Not a princess au

N/A: slightly based on Magnus bride with the exception that Ariel is not Chise. Chise is too depressed.

@dannybagpipesarecalling @djinmer4 @tieflingteeth @niuniente

In her childhood´s memories, among the smells of sweet pies and other desserts, are the stories her grandmother used to share-everyone coming together near the matriarchy as she often flashes a pearl white smile- and Ariel can recall many of her stories.

And one that stood up the most was the small tale of poor and miserable faes. “Granny” Ariel greets her granny who just closed the window-muttering how the winter finally arrives- and hugs the smaller girl. “Tell me a story, please!” and dramatically begs with her doe eyes. Her granny compliance.

“Ok, ok…since you asked so nicely” she puts the girl in her lap and tells the old story. “Once upon a time…there´s a lovely woman. A fae as only a fae could reach such beauty” she chuckles as Ariel is trying to imagine a pretty fae. “and it was a beauty the Gods offer to her. Beauty is a gift for a fae. And such beauty was meant to marry the Fae prince, a prince from the light court, you know, the typical handsome fae prince” and Ariel is trying to imagine such a handsome man.

“However, the lovely fae falls for another, see, faes can love…but is a rarity in itself, so rare that maybe she wasn´t in love…maybe it was something else” granny tiptoe on the terms. Ariel rolls her eyes and mentions it was lust (it was lust, granny, I get it) “anyway, she decides to e with the mortal…faes must love tragedy stories and their own arrogance because such beauty thought she wouldn´t face the consequences”

“But she did…”

“Oh, Ariel…she did. The prince wasn´t very happy with his bride wanting to marry a human…and patience sometimes can be forsaken in the fae world…so, he put a curse on her” and granny´s eyes turn dark. “after sending some friends to visit this poor human. It doesn´t matter if he was innocent…faes can be cruel and the mortal begs for death in the end…not sure if it was answered”

“Poor silly mortal”

“And the beauty fae …is cursed. She can´t touch anyone or anything ever again” Her granny concludes as Ariel keeps imaging the fate of such poor and foolish fae.

“And her family move away and never talk about it?” Ariel asked. Now, that´s a good question.

“Her brethren were exiled of the court and are freely walking among humans…an exiled fae is common. But a fae who has a cursed relative is as rare as a fae loving a human…bad omen! An extremely bad omen will follow them until the end” and Ariel is hang up on those words.

“And the Gods did nothing?”

“Pretty much”

“What bastards!”

“Kitty!”

“We´re Jewish…we can say that” and winks in the conspiracy. Granny chuckles at this. And the Granny elects herself to be an accomplice. The rocking chair remains a completely unmoving-a paradox for Ariel only- and the tale continues.

“Now, you must be worried…what this means to humans? Exiled faes are dangerous and they will do anything to get your name…faes don´t play fair and exiled faes can break even more rules” The granny continues.

“And …if they have a cursed relative…they have no reason to play nice either” Ariel nods sagely and granny suggests to never give her name until you have absolutely sure the person won´t use against you. _________________________________________________________________________________________

The city is flocking with several mutants and humans. No festival is on the horizon, but, the higher spirits, sometimes, don´t need a holiday to commemorate. Ariel is one of the few people taking the scene with suspicious eyes. As her friend, Bobby is guiding her far away from the number of people.

They´re reaching a yellow path-yellow. Not golden- as Bobby is promising something wonderful down the road. Bobby is chatting away- too freely. Too used to his own voice- while Ariel is merely taking his words still careful. In a moment, Ariel sighs and suspends her moves and utters a few words- with her hand on her pocket- “you know, you can stop acting…I know you´re not him, fae” and she can feel the tomfoolery smile often associated with Bobby is gone.

“How did you notice it?” the tone is more feminine now. Still wearing Bobby´s face with one big difference. The eyes are golden now. Ariel didn´t reach closer of the fae- still, keep a safe distance- and responds.

“You flirt with me and other ladies…Bobby is gay” no apologizes was given nor was expected. The fae snaps her fingers and hissed something. “I forget to see this detail, well, it doesn´t matter…you´ll come with me” is order and Ariel can only frown her expression.

“Why? Why should I willingly go to a trap?”

And the fae offers a cruel smile to Ariel. “If you don´t value your friends´ life. We can keep Jubilation Lee” cold runs through her blood now. Ariel still has her hand in the pocket and has no choice in following the fae.

Faes don´t lie. In the promising space-a pocket dimension stops being a novelty when you live in a world where magic is so convenient- and hanging above on a cage. There is Jubilation Lee.

“Ariel!” she cries. “They trick me. She´s a shapeshifter…I thought…I thought she was Wolverine…I thought she was Laura…” and Ariel can see why Jubilation would fall for this trick. Crushes are a favorite weapon faes like to use against mortals.

Laura, she thought, would be happy to know her crush is not onesided…after she kills the faes.

And Ariel had enough. Taking a knife out of her pocket and twisting her arms- twisting her arms- puts the knife, an iron knife as the blue fae can feel, on her neck. “Bad choice, let Jubs go and you´ll still have a head above your neck!” is a thinly veiled threat. No, is a promise.

Ariel almost gasps as she feels a cold metal. Her does eyes manage to side back enough so the vision of this new welcomer is clear. An azzure man with crimson eyes- a red scar on his right eye- and is holding the sword firmly.

“Let go of the knife and you´ll still have a head above your neck” no one seems to acknowledge the fact those words are being parroted into Ariel´s face.

Flight or fight kicks in. Faes don´t lie…but can deceive.

“And why I would do this?” she tries again. Smirking as the knife stays- grimacing as the sword did too- “so I can watch you torture my friend? pass”

“We don´t want to torture anyone” the azzure man begins. Not the warmest line. “We´re here to make a trade” and she could show more interest if the sword wasn´t so well-positioned and so near her neck.

Ariel looks up to see Jubilation Lee. Ariel has no choice but to listen to their terms. “You work for me and I´ll burn her name out of our memories” and Ariel exhales as she slowly takes the knife away from the azzure lady´s neck.

“Swear by your real name?” Ariel counter-asked.

“Swear by my name” he responds. The azzure lady burns the name, only after Ariel agrees with the terms. “What should I call you?”

“Nightcrawler,” he said somewhat proud.

“Oh, worm?”

“Uhm, not a princess” his eyes travel to his mother- he called her mother when the deal was made- and then tries again. “Kurt”

“So not like a princess” _______________________________________________________________________________________

Looking up at the cottage. Is not the most luxurious place Ariel has ever seen- and to be fair, she didn´t saw many either- however, is not ugly by design. Ariel could enjoy the architecture in peace if this situation wasn´t so bizarre.

Her hands are quivering ever so slightly. Faes can be deviants. Faes can do unimaginable things and faes value human life as much one would value poop.

Kurt only took one good look at her to know what´s on her mind. “I only need someone to clean my house. Just that” and yes, her hands stop quivering and her eyes take his form completely incredulous.

“Uhm, you could have used the Craiglist” Ariel suggested in a teasing way. “Pretty sure is not that expensive and it is not as complex as using my friend as bait” she states still incredulous.

“What´s a craigslist?” either he´s joking or he has no idea what is a craigslist. Ariel decides for her sake to not press the issue. For now.

She sighs and then inquiries again. “I´ve read many fairytales, and I know there´s always a forbidden room I mustn´t enter or else” she mock an ominous voice here. In front of a fae with crimson eyes. “so, which room I mustn´t waltz at night” she crosses her arms waiting.

“The last door on the second floor. You shouldn´t enter there” Kurt begins. Ariel grins, there´re always secret or forbidden doors humans can´t cross.

“And if I waltz there…” she pries.

And Kurt´s face is a bit too close to Ariel. “Katzchen, what reason could you have to want to join into my bed at night?” and tsked “not what a normal princess would say”

Ariel´s face is heating up. “Sir, how dare make any suggestion…I´m a decent lady” and raise an eyebrow at his last comment. “and princesses are too boring for little old me” ______________________________________________________________________________________________

Friendships among mutants are hard, at least, for Bobby Drake it was. Maybe, it was his immaturity and his silly pranks that prove hard to others to rely on him-Scott said so once. Pranks are nice, but, you need to know when to stop- therefore, the few friends Bobby has…the Iceman tries to be as much of a good friend as possible.

Shaking and swallowing aren´t signals to be ashamed. Not being behind Jubilation Lee. Bobby is not ashamed of anything nor afraid. Jubilation rings the doorbell and Ariel is the one to answer and Bobby-never one to be subtle- breath in utter relief- the two ladies ignore this scene.

“Hey, we come here to see you…” Jubilation tries to put her cheerful facade, but, she´s still feeling guilty. “We´re trying to find a way to take you out…There are many lawyers for cases like this…and Jean even promised to help” Jubilation completes.

“Guys, I´m fine…I´m just his maid here, nothing salacious is happening here” Ariel promised. “Are you alright?” this question can be direct to Jubilee or Bobby.

“You´re living with a fae…and you ask if we´re fine? Ariel…” Jubilee shakes her head. A change in the subject is in order now.

“How did you found me?”

“Bobby here” she points to the Ice-mutant. “slept with the higher-ups in the Inhuman court and they´re happy to give your location…sadly, they can only do this…for now” she lost bits of enthusiasm.

Iceman decides to break the silence. “Ariel, do you know who this fae is?”

“A fae with red eyes?” is a lucky guess if you ask Ariel.

“No, he´s an exiled fae…and exiled faes are the worst…remember the story about exiled faes? The most famous one is about a pretty fae that should have married another prince fae but well…she had cold feet and well…” he looks awkward now. “no one gets a happy ending”

And this story sounds familiar. ________________________________________________________________________________________

“Uhm, are you sure, handsome?” Ariel reacted to that request as any normal person would. “I´m not the best cooker and I think there´re many on Craiglist who would love to work for a fae with crimson eyes” her tone is teasing. Kurt is not commenting on this.

“Well, unless you´re a princess and you can´t do this chore” and he smiles. No, more like sneers and Ariel has mixed feelings about this. Either Kurt loves princesses or he hates them-the image of him being rejected by a princess plays in her mind- and she notices how he´s expecting a reaction from his words.

“Why this obsession with me being a princess? I told you before, no blue blood in my family” The Prydes lived well, but, no one would look at them and think they´re nobility.

“Every woman wants to be a princess” and adds. “the gods said so”

“Gods are dicks” is her intelligent response. For a moment, Ariel thought he would get angry-faes worship some deities here and there- and maybe Kurt will take offense to her words.

Instead, he smiles too pleased. “They´re. Can you cook?”

And in her mind, Ariel made a delicious meal worthy of a king, of course, in reality, the food is badly burned and too salty. Kurt can´t take a bite and neither does Ariel.

“Yeah…not a princess” he agrees and snaps his fingers as decent food appears at the table.

“You can…you can made food but still needs a maid to clean your house?”

“No”

“Why am I here then?”

“Your food is getting cold”

“Curse you and your delicious magic food”

__________________________________________________________________________________________

How long is Ariel working for this strange exiled fae? hard to know, hard to care. Lately, Ariel is taking each detail of the cottage and from the owner as much she can. For example, the sour azzure man likes to be in his study room, doing gods know what, but often leaves at some time to the woods, and Ariel is left wondering what he does there.

In the study room, she has permission to clean-she blushes as the insinuation of his room and Ariel entering still plays in her mind- when she can notice two things: first and foremost, the room is immaculate. And second, there´s a painting a lovely woman with auburn hair and white streak.

Ariel comes closer and inspects the painting. The name Rogue is written bellow. She almost touches it. Almost. “That´s my sister” his voice draws in and Ariel is too used now. “I had a sister once…” and Ariel can nod in sympathize.

His eyes bore into Ariel. “Aren´t you thinking anything weird about me and my sister…”

“No, you big dummy, you look just like I do when I mentioned my granny…she passed away…she used to tell me stories” Ariel reveals this piece of information.

“Oh, is that….because I´m a fae…mortals seem to think I´ve no sense of family or love” and is the softest tone she ever listens to him responding. “family and faes are different from humans, so, of course, my family is different from the others faes…”

“Is just you and your mother now?”

“Yes, just me and my mother…she didn´t take Rogue´s demise so well…no one did” and he adds looking at her. “she was supposed to marry this prince but Rogue refused and the Gods” Ariel can see him gritting his teeth. Showcasing his fangs. “decide to punish her”

“Gods are jerks”

“Yes, they´re…and you´re not a princess”

“I´ll try not to cry on my pillow tonight. I promise” ________________________________________________________________________________________

Kurt found Ariel doing the laundry-Kurt did help as she berates him saying his hand wouldn´t fall if he did his share- when rubbing his neck Kurt makes a strange request. “Would you like to see my sister?” and Ariel never heard of a tombstone for faes, then again, it doesn´t matter. "of course…should I bring something?“

Kurt shakes his head.

The walking didn´t take more than 5 minutes. And soon, Ariel is looking at the statue of Rogue-maybe that´s how faes pay respect-and Kurt is the one to break the silence in a weak tone. So different from the first day.

“That´s my sister. She´s blessed with beauty to marry a prince fae. The Gods thought it would be funny to make her fall in love with a mortal…and it would be hilarious to punish her…” and taking a deep breath he adds. “she´s not dead…she´s cursed. The statue is my sister”

Ariel looks at the statue and back to Kurt. “And that´s why I´m here? to break this curse?” inquires back Ariel not seeing how she, of all people, could do this. She has no magic and as she proves time and time again. Not a princess.

“The Gods have a strange sense of humor. Only the tears of a lady that refused any form of being a princess can save my sister. Your tears can restore her life…you more than once rejected the life of a princess” Kurt answers.

“My tears?” she gazes up to the statue and then re-direct her attention to Kurt. “ok, tell me something sad, Kurt, make me cry and I´ll try to save your sister”

Kurt blinks as his mouth opens freely. “I was married once…my wife was devoured as a part of a sick joke” Ariel holds his hand -is really soft like velvet- and he carries on. “my biological father abused my mother in some form…I never asked for details and she´ll never give it to me…I was in more wars than you can imagine…and I miss my sister. My family is smaller and strange, but, is my family and I missed them” and her tears fall right after this admission. Slowly but surely.

Rogue blinks her eyes. Rogue is no longer a statue. _________________________________________________________________________________________

Being turned into a stone and then being brought back to life is a feeling only Rogue can fully understand. Mystique is trying to console as much as she can- Kurt too. The two azzure aren´t very affable, but, are trying- and Rogue asked about the mortal she was forced to love. “he´s no longer alive…I promised” and Rogue takes his word.

He could trap Ariel, couldn´t he? She made no demands nor deals when she cries to save his sister. He could make her stay here forever. “Be careful when doing deals with faes…you´re free to go”

“I´m free…that´s great, and that´s great your sister is back…look” she then whispers as she is about to reveal a secret. “next time, if you really need a maid…use Craiglist and not try to blackmail anyone to help you” Ariel teases him but her eyes have some seriousness to it.

“I´ll try…” is the best he can promise to her.

“Good, and if you want to visit me or if you want me to visit you…no need to tricks…just shows up and say hi, ok?”

“That I can do it”

She´s not a princess by any means and yet, she´s far more interesting than one.

#not a princess au #aoa kurtty #open ending #slightly based on magnus bride #and card captors sakura #AOA kitty Pryde #Rogue is fine #kurt darkholme #aoa nightcrawler

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crushzone · 4 years

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🎬 About Me

Original art of me and my fictional hubby, Ukai Keishin, by @achieve-the-sun, posted with permission. 💕

Hi there!

My name is Nin and I am the founder of Crushzone Cinema Theater. 📽 🍿

🎬 THE BASICS

Age: 23

Birthday: December 24th

Pronoun: She/her

Education: Graduated with a dual degree in Film and Global History

Occupation: Is currently a film freelancer in the camera department, who desperately needs money to pay rent every month lol.

Likes:

- The sound of rain tapping on my window

- Watching my plants rise and droop to the moving sun

- Cooking and experimenting with different cuisines; Japanese, Thai and Chinese are some of my favorites.

- Giving my husband and my cat their head rubs every night.

- Drawing, painting, and photography. (Here’s some of my works!)

- The feeling of accomplishment after you’ve gone through SO much for a project with your peers. To work on your own movie or short film, and finally seeing it done, is such a rewarding experience.

- To eat my Mac and Cheese with ketchup, nutritional yeast, and steamed broccoli. (Fight me lol. 🦖 )

- Eating chips with chopsticks.

- Medjool dates with a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter 😋

-Wearing oversized clothes, especially hoodies.

- Sitting at my reading nook, with my cat next to me on the chair.

Dislikes:

- The buzzing sound bees make when they fly.

- Slipping on my own chunk of hair on the ground; I have a lot of hair and I shed a lot.

- The heat, I may be from Thailand, but I am very much done with the blaring heat. One second I’ll look real cute with my face all done up, but the moment I step out, it’s already melting from my face.

- Going to sleep; there’s SO much more I could be doing right now!

- When my bangs desperately need a trim and is poking my eyes.

- Poor lighting, doesn’t matter if it is real life, just light it like you’re IN a film!! It’s so much more dramatic that way! (For real, come to my house, every corner is lit with some sort of a look/mood 😏)

- Loud noises; when people are yelling all the time, or something is loud, I get nervous when I can’t hear my own thoughts.

- People with bad attitude, a temper, or is just kind of mean in general. There is absolutely no excuse for you to be that way, and nothing productive comes out of it. Nuh-uh.

🎬 FUN FACTS

My parents hired a piano teacher when I was in elementary school, but because I didn’t enjoy her company (for some reason), I refused to absorb information. Little did I know, it would backfire me and would have absolutely no effect to her pay.

I’m that kid who always has 4 spare pencils and 5 erasers to lend out to my peers.

Will serenade to my cat every morning and night, so if you are ever my roommate, I apologize for my horrible singings.

Performed as a cave and pot in my high school production, and lemme tell ya, it is more difficult than it sounds.

Has no problem doing laundry in the morning, but the moment the sun falls, I will be too afraid to go down into my basement to do it. Some may say that it is an excuse for me to put laundry off for the next day, but I always tell my husband that there’s a “Babadook” in there. 👀

One time I stepped on a millipede, and I cried for 2 days because I felt really bad for it.

I’m actually VERY shy most of the times, so if you see me laughing a lot like a hyena, then it’s likely that it’s just me being awkward. OR I may just be having a good time, who knows.

I’m awful around kids, I am SO awkward and will stiff up like a rock (if you see me doing that, pls come safe me). One time this kid asked me why I laugh so much, so I simply just laughed some more while backing out of the room slowly. 🤦‍♀️

🎬 SOME FUN QUESTIONS!

What is something you wish you were gifted at doing?

I wish I could sing. My husband is a musician, and it looks like he’s having so much fun. There’s just something so freeing about it, as if it’s another language that takes time to become fluent in, but when you are, it’s so captivating and expressive. I don’t think I’m an awful singer, but is just too incredibly shy to sing in front of others.

What is the first movie you remember seeing in theater?

It may had been Disney’s Dinosaur (2000), not sure. All I remember was that there were a bunch of dinosaurs on screen, may had even been 3D with those glasses.

At one point, a tiger jumped at the screen, and I started crying. My mom and brother wanted to finish the movie, so my dad had to sit outside with me, until it was over. It was chill tho, my dad was teaching me different dinosaur names. 👶 🦖 🦕

What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Pants off, baby!! I don’t usually wear a bra, but if do, then I guess it’s bra’s off first. Then I instantly hop into my plaid boxer shorts hehee. 🤭

What has been the hardest thing for you to face or learn?

That people go through different stages of their life at different paces, and that is totally okay. When I was younger, I would always overwork, and as a result, I don’t really have a lot of time for myself. I did that, mostly, because I wanted to get a head start at everything, especially at my career. Now that I am 23-24, and had just graduated from Class of 2019, I’ve been getting film gigs since I was a sophomore, and is now a full time freelancer.

Yet, I was not satisfied, because I got to work with a 21 y/o in a position that was under her, and it made me feel momentarily incompetent; like I wasn’t doing well enough. But it will never be enough if that’s the mindset; I never considered that she skipped university and went straight into film, so circumstances were entirely different.

Meanwhile, there’s someone 10+ years older than me who is struggling to get the work I’d get, and that is okay too. What I should’ve done is feel happy for her, and use that to motivate myself to improve. As long as I never give up, and continue to do my best with a good attitude, everything will be just fine.

If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

That it’s okay to take a break sometimes, live life a little, and cherish all the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, and struggles that you are going through right now. Every tear will make you stronger, and genuine every smile will eventually pull you through.

Time goes by very quickly, and every stage in your life is a part of you, so make sure you remember how you get to where you are well.

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Half full, just grateful that there’s any liquid in the glass at all, and is excited to acquire more with all the space I’ve got on top, ya know? 🤷‍♀️

What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That if you whistle at night, the ghosts will come find you. Or if you play hide and seek at night, then you’ve opened up some kind of portal that the ghosts will kidnap you away from this dimension forever.

Tbh, I think my grandma was just sick of me trying to learn how to whistle when I was in elementary school and of me running around the house at night, so she made these omen up lol.

What time do you usually get up in the morning?

Used to wake up at 13:00-14:00 all the time, but since I married an early bird, I’ve been up at 6:30-7:00 lately.

What time is your usual bed time?

Heeheee 1:00-2:00 in the morning, oops.

How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I have the loveliest older brother in the world, he’s 4 years older, and is very smart, diligent, athletic, and funny. Me being the only daughter, my parents are incredibly protective, so they’d always have my brother do everything for me.

It was a relief when I was younger, but as I enter high school, it became a little frustrating; I felt like I was living under his shadows and can never be considered independent. They’d also spend a lot more time training with him cuz he’s a national competitive swimmer.

Because of that, I had a lot of time to myself, so I experimented with my own interests and grew in my own way. As I’ve grown, I can definitely say that it’s made me a lot more independent and introverted haha. I absolutely dislike depending on anyone (Will be my last resort), but it’s also nice to know that whenever either of us fall, we’ll always have each other’s back.

#tag games with Nin 🎮

Learn even more about me through various tag games I participated!✌️

#chats with Nin

My previous responses, rambles, vibe checks, and many more!

And please drop by my ask box and chit chat, I love interacting with you all! 👋

>>> Back to Ticket Booth Navigation 🎟

#about me #navigation #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! writer #writer #get to know the author #get to know the writer #get to know me #fun facts #questions #introduction

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actuallyrandomperson · 4 years

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My thoughts on the Sanders Sides Spotify playlists- Virgil Edition!

Note: this is Purely me saying whether or not I like the songs, not theorising about any deeper meanings. I’ve done them all, so just click on the names to see my reactions to the others: Patton, Roman, Logan, Janus

Impressions from looking through the playlist: I don’t specifically know most of the songs (I know more of the bands), but I feel like that’ll be a recurring theme as I tend to stick within my very specific music taste and only add songs to my playlists if I hear them while I’m out and about and like them enough to find them on Spotify, which means my horizons aren’t broadened very often. The ones I do know do not surprise me that much (neither do the bands, for that matter), as they feel very Virgil

1: ‘Sunrise, Sunset’, by Bright Eyes. I didn’t mind it at first? But the chorus was a bit too,,, shouty for me. Probably Definitely a song I’d skip if it came up on a playlist in the future, as much as I liked the tune(/melody?). Not surprised to find it on Virgil’s playlist though, it gives off Angst. Was very in my face as I tried to continue reading fics.

2: ‘Lets Kill Tonight’, by Panic! At The Disco. One that I have probably heard before, as while I myself didn’t have an emo music phase, an ex friend did. I liked it more, as I expected to as I tend to like p!atd’s songs. Not one that I’d go out of my way to listen to again, but has been added to my 32 hour long playlist on Spotify (not my slightly more curated 10 hour one tho, but I mostly play the 10 hour one while doing work or while others are around soo). Once again felt like it suited Virgil, (as I imagine all of them will, so I might just call out ones that feel Odd if any do.)

3: ‘Sally’s Song’, by Amy Lee. It might shock some of y’all, but not one I’ve really heard before! I live in Australia so Halloween’s not a massive thing and I actually don’t know that many people who’ve watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. Thomas is actually one of the main reasons I know that the movie exists. I really liked it, unsurprisingly, so it too made its way to my 32 hour playlist (not the ten hour one, but only because I try to keep mostly ‘normal’ songs on there so there’s not that many songs from movies in it)

4: ‘It Ends Tonight’, by The All-American Rejects. I recognised the band, but not the title. I think I’ve heard this before though- I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. I wouldn’t skip it if it popped up in a playlist at some stage in the future, but I haven’t added it to either of my playlists.

5: ‘I’d Hate To Be You When Everyone Fonds Out What This Song Is About’, Mayday Parade. Very long title (ok, I know in emo song title standards it’s not even that long but as I said I didn’t really have an emo phase so these sorts of titles always shock me) that slightly confuses me (who’s you? why is what the songs about bad for them??), but I liked it! Is now on my 32 hour playlist. I suspect that at the end of listening to all of these it will be longer than 32 hours.

6: ‘A Decade Under The Influence’, Taking Back Sunday. Another one that I liked enough that I wouldn’t skip it in the future, but didn’t add to my playlist. I just didn’t vibe with it enough. Happened to line up with Roman having a Bad Feeling™ in the fic I was reading tho so that was entertaining

7: ‘Thks fr th mmrs’, by Fall Out Boy. This was the first song to invoke feelings of Nostalgia™ in me, and I’m kinda shocked it’s not already in my 32 hour playlist. That has been remedied. This song was played a fair bit in my childhood, both on the radio and by an older sister. I imagine a lotta people my age had a similar thing. Obviously one I Love. Got me to stop reading in favour of being a doofus by lip syncing and dancing around while lying in bed (and deafening my eardrums as I turned it up louder) during the chorus.

8: ‘Be Calm’, by Fun. This was the second song that I didn’t recognise either the title or the band for. I liked it, even though the initial warped carnival-esque tune thing made me think of Pennywise. Pretty much as soon as the singing started I added it to the 32 hour playlist. It might make its way to the shorter one one day, as I actually really like it. It’s just a bit odd, and as I said I try to keep that playlist to more ‘conventionally normal’ songs as it’s designed for me to be able to play around other people without getting weird looks.

9: ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)’, by My Chemical Romance. Let’s be real. I would’ve cried if this song wasn’t included in the playlist. You would’ve cried if this song was not included in this playlist. If all of their songs aren’t in their respective playlists I’ll be disappointed. This song being in the playlist prompted me to go back and rewatch that episode. so many jokes originate in that ep. also we only knew one name back then? and the dark sides were barely a blip on our radars??? how????? ok back to the song- not my favourite, but I wasn’t expecting it to be. Probably won’t skip it every time it comes up in the future, but it’s definitely not my cup of tea.

10: ‘Imaginary’, by Evanescence. I laughed when I realised this was next up, as rewatching the q&a reminded me that Virgil said they were his favourite band so I’d noted that I had to look out to see if any of their songs were on the playlist. I liked it enough to add it to the 32 hour playlist, but wouldn’t go out of my way to play it in the future.

11: ‘Soft Shock- Acoustic Version’, by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. When this started my first thought was ‘oh, I think I’m gonna really like this one!’ and my second was ‘I’m kinda surprised it’s on Virgils playlist, but it feels right somehow.’ (It made more sense as I listened to the lyrics, I think I was just massively caught off guard by it being acoustic). I hadn’t heard of either the song or the band before this, but my initial instinct was Correct and it has in fact.... made it onto the ten hour playlist!! Hell yeah!! I actually liked it enough to listen to the og version as well, which I still liked but slightly less. (Also I have heard some of their music before as I realised looking at the album this came from that my one of my sisters used to listen to them, which I’m not that surprised about as we have Similar tastes in music)

12: ‘The Good That Won’t Come Out’, by Rilo Kiley. I liked this enough to consider adding it to my 32 hour playlist, and the lyrics were interesting, I just didn’t vibe with it that much. 🤷‍♀️

13: ‘Sick Sad World’, by Nervus. The bands name feels very apt for Virgil. I liked the rhythm of this one, and it was also a Certified Mood tbh. Got added to the 32 hour playlist!! Also made me wanna hug Virgil.

14: ‘Ignorance’, by Paramore. I wasn’t expecting to love this, as I don’t remember really liking much of Paramore’s music in the past even though I know I must’ve heard some, but I didn’t hate it. Didn’t get added to either of my playlists, but I probably wouldn’t skip it in the future.

15: ‘The Ice Is Getting Thinner’, by Death Cab for Cutie. I was expecting to like this one, as one of my favourite youtuber’s fave songs is a death cab for cutie song and I really like it as well. I did like this one quite a bit, but it only made its way onto my 32 hour playlist.

16: ‘Overkill- Acoustic Version’, by Colin Hay. I didn’t mind this, but didn’t like it enough to put it on the 32 hour playlist. I possibly would like the original version more, but I can’t be bothered finding it especially given my first impression is just meh

17: ‘Under Pressure’, by My Chemical Romance. I didn’t love it as much as I love the original, but it did prompt me to check if I’d added the original to my two playlists. Apparently I didn’t, even though I was listening to a Lot of Queen when I was deeply entrenched in good omens.

18: ‘Everything is Alright’, Motion City Soundtrack. I liked this one! I think I might’ve heard It before, but it’s been a while. It got added to the 32 hour playlist.

19: ‘The Middle’, by Jimmy Eat World. I didn’t recognise the title b u t I did recognise the song. Obviously. Because I’m a gen z with older siblings. It was the second big nostalgia feels song, which was made even stronger by me not immediately recognising the title (unlike thks fr th mmrs). Was added to the 32 hour playlist as soon as I realised what song it was

20: ‘Vindicated’, by Dashboard Confessional. I knew this, but mostly from a music podcast called Punch up The Jam so hearing it in full was weird. Added it to the 32 hour playlist but wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it again.

Final thoughts: I know I said I never had an emo phase in music, but I do actually like a lot of it even tho I was never That Kid, so I was kinda expecting to at least like a lot of these songs. My favourite song was definitely Be Calm, closely followed Soft Shock and Thks Fr Th Mmrs. 12/20 got added to my 32 hour playlist, and 2 (I eventually decided my love of Be Calm was strong enough for it to be an exception) to the 10 hour one!

@thatsthat24

#sanders sides #sanders sides playlist #virgil #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides spotify #virgil's playlist #virgil’s playlist reaction #spotify #virgils playlist #virgils playlist reaction #virgil’s spotify #virgils spotify

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ineffably-good · 4 years

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Faeted (2/15) - Good Omens AU

Summary: Ezra fell is an English professor at a prestigious academy for boys. Crowley is the lord of the Unseelie court in the lands without sunrise or moonfall. Somehow fate will bring them together.

Read Chapter one here

Read it on AO3!

Chapter Two - Into The Woods

Monday morning came soon enough, and Ezra spent the morning preparing for the outing he was taking his afternoon literature class on. He’d reserved one of the school’s vans and was driving the twelve boys out for a ramble in the local hills to visit several key points mentioned in some of the recent readings. This term’s subject had been early British and Celtic mythology, and they’d covered everything from the Irish Ulster cycle with the great warrier king Cuchulain, to legends of the little people who supposedly predated the human occupation of the British Isles, to the great early versions of Arthurian legend. It was just the thing, he’d found, to stir the interest of early adolescents in literature, with their focus on heroic feats, dramatic battles, and of course, magic.

The twelve boys from his class piled into the van in a raucous explosion of noises and smells, and kept up lively conversations (consistently largely of insults, as far as Ezra could tell) as they visited an ancient cathedral built on the site of an old holy well from pre-Roman times. They stopped to examine a battle site that was supposed to have been involved in Arthurian legend, which the boys found quite a bit more fun than the church had been. He let them beat each other with stick swords while shouting out bits they remembered from Le Morte D’Arthur for a good half hour, and then he gathered them back into the van and made their way to an old conical hill that had a reputation as once having been the home of the little people, the fae themselves.

“This it, boys, last stop!” Ezra called as they pulled off onto the side of the road. “Bring your snacks and your notebooks – we’ll be walking for a little while to get to the site!”

Twelve gangly boys tumbled out of the van behind him, and he quickly arranged them into scouting format.

“You, Adam, take the compass,” Ezra said, “and Brian, you’ll carry the blanket. Wensleydale, you’ll be rear guard. Everyone ready? Off we go.”

After a few minutes of concerted hiking through light forest, they emerged into an open field covered in grass, with a large, round, flat-topped hill before them. An ancient, picturesque tree was its lone companion – a hawthorn, perhaps? There was a peaceful stillness to the site, broken only by birdsong.

Ezra gathered the boys and explained that this was a site worthy of respect, likely a burial site at a minimum, and that no one was to dig or pick up rocks or otherwise take or change anything at all about it. He met each of their eyes in turn to emphasize this closely. And with a few more dire warnings, he set them loose to explore while he laid out a blanket nearby and set out of a few of their provisions for their missing tea time.

A half hour later, Adam Young flopped down on the blanket beside him. Ezra smiled. Adam was one of his favorite students, mischievous but highly intelligent, always asking an unexpected question or surprising him with an unusual turn of phrase in a paper.

“Do you really think the fairies lived here, Professor Fell?” he asked.

“I don’t, really,” Ezra said, “although it’s lovely to think about. I think most of these hills are the remains of old ring forts, or perhaps burial mounds.”

“Why did they build these stories up around them, then?”

Ezra thought for a minute. “The fairy legends, as I interpret them, are representative of a loss of innocence as the world moved from nomadic into more settled lifestyles, with the coming of farming and larger settlements,” he said. “I think civilizations codify their losses into stories, and stories hold that grief for them for the things they can no longer remember.”

Adam looked thoughtfully at the landscape around them, then grinned. “Would be wicked cool, though, if it were real, wouldn’t it?”

Ezra smiled. “I suppose it would,” he said, just as an enormous clap of thunder pealed overhead.

A moment later, a torrential rain began to fall. The boys near him pulled their blazers up over their heads and ran squealing into cover under the nearby trees at the edge of the clearing, and Ezra quickly made his way up to the top of the hill to make sure everyone was off of it. He paused in shock for a moment to watch an enormous bolt of lightning strike much too close by for comfort, then quickly spiraled counterclockwise down the sides of the tor until he reached the bottom and headed off to follow the voices of the boys into the woods.

Oddly enough, he couldn’t seem to locate them, despite hearing their voices seemingly just up ahead. The air around him had gotten significantly darker with the coming cloud cover, and it was difficult to see under the thick branches. The rain and the odd quality of light gave everything a slightly greenish cast.

“Boys!” he called, beating a little deeper into the woods. “Adam! Everyone, please stay together!”

“Professor Fell!” he heard someone call from worryingly far off. “Where are you?”

A branch hit him in the face as he turned towards where he thought the sound came from. “Here!” he called. “I’m here! Please stop where you are and stick together.”

He heard no further sounds, but continued to move forward towards the last direction he had heard the boys from. Rain dripped down off the leaves of the trees and ran unpleasantly down his neck. He stopped to pull his tweed coat a little closer around himself, then took a few more steps before realizing he had no real sense of the direction in which he was traveling.

He turned in a slow circle and looked around him, but he saw absolutely nothing but trees. Strange, he thought. I don’t remember the woods being quite this deep here.

A branch cracked behind him and he whirled to find himself eye to eye with a large horse.

A horse. With a rider.

A rider who happened to be a beautiful woman with long, flowing brown hair, dressed in a green gown with golden accents. Her horse was decorated with flowers and bells and appeared unusually tall and glossy. She looked like nothing so much as the living embodiment of Spencer’s faerie queen.

“Greetings, fellow traveler,” she said in melodious tones.

Ah, Ezra thought, of course. It’s a prank. The boys have decided to prank me with an actual, genuine fairy encounter of my very own. How very droll of them. He suspected Anathema had had a hand in this as well. The boys wouldn’t have achieved this level of detail on their own. He took a peek around to see if he was being filmed on one of the boys’ infernal phones, but he couldn’t see anyone. He decided to play along, just in case.

“Why hello, fair lady,” he said with exquisite politeness, offering her a smile. “I seem to be lost. Have you seen my students?”

She studied him for a moment. “I have not,” she said gravely, “but I can offer you assistance if you’d like.”

He had to give her credit, she was taking her role very seriously. “Did Anathema put you up to this?” he asked sotto voce. “I must say, you look wonderful. The detailing on your gown is exquisite! Where did you source your materials?”

The woman looked perplexed. “What nonsense you speak,” she said. “Do you require assistance? The woods can be treacherous in such a storm and you appear to be far from home.”

“I’d be most appreciative,” he said, “if you could help guide me back to the clearing.”

“Very well,” she said, leaning over and offering a hand, clearly indicating that she expected him to climb up on the horse beside her.

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” he replied, taken aback. “Horses and I – well we don’t really get along. I’ll just walk beside you, if that’s all right.”

She laughed in surprise, and gently guided her horse around to face to the west, then offered Ezra the reins to hold. They set off at a gentle pace, the horse leading the two of them through the woods for longer than seemed reasonable and Ezra walking at the side of the lady until they began to see more light between the branches. Finally they emerged into the clearing where he’d been before, at the base of the hill.

He glanced around quickly but saw none of the boys he was hoping to find. Instead, he saw a half dozen people, similarly attired in old-fashioned outfits of green and gold, many with equally fine mounts. Four were men and two were women; all of them were so attractive it nearly hurt to look at them.

Ezra revised his opinion for the moment – this was undoubtedly too elaborate for a prank. Perhaps what he had chanced upon instead were role playing enthusiasts out for a day in the woods? He knew some of Anathema’s friends partook in this peculiar hobby, often dressing up in costume and spending a day or two acting out some elaborate fantasy storyline out in the countryside. Never one to laugh at another’s hobby, Ezra was inclined to respect the thoroughness with which these particular people hewed to their chosen personas. They were tip to toe the exact image you would think of for the fae.

“Lady Griane!” one of the menfolk cried. “We feared for you when you did not return immediately.”

His companion, a tall, broad-shouldered man with odd violet eyes, looked Ezra over thoroughly. “But we see now what detained you,” he said with a smirk.

“I have found a lost traveler,” the woman said, dismounting gracefully. “He asked for our assistance.”

“Hello,” Ezra said politely. “You all look quite lovely in your costumes. What game are you playing today?”

The purple eyed fellow eyed him in distaste. “My Queen, this one is clearly of inferior intellect. Perhaps you should return him to the bush you found him under.”

Griane made a shushing gesture with one hand, and the purple-eyed man fell silent. “I have taken him under my protection. Although I do admit he speaks an unusual amount of nonsense.” She laughed musically, and her companions echoed it.

One of the other women moved forward. She held a pouch in her hands, and smiled at Ezra with brilliant white teeth. She had dark skin and a smattering of what looked like a golden-ink tattoo across her left temple and onto her cheekbone. “I am Uriel,” she said. “Would you like refreshment?”

She reached into the pouch and pulled out a small cake and a flagon of what appeared to be wine. The scent of the pastry wafted through the air enticingly, making Ezra realize that he was quite extraordinarily hungry.

The entire woods seemed to still, as if the trees themselves were watching him closely to see what he would do.

Ezra looked from Uriel to his host, Griane; they both looked back at him with pleasant, expectant faces. He felt a brief tingle in the back of his mind, as if there was something he should be worried about, but he felt hot and thirsty and tired and could not, for the life of him, summon the energy to worry about what that might be. A group of role players was offering him what appeared to be a very nice snack. He liked snacks. He liked little cakes. He especially liked wine.

What, he thought, could be the harm?

“Why thank you, Uriel,” he said politely, reaching out to take the offered cake. He brought it to his lips and took a small bite and was rewarded with an explosion of effervescent flavor upon his tongue that made him close his eyes and moan. When he heard quiet laughter, he opened his eyes again, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but Uriel moved to his side and met his gaze kindly.

“Have a drink as well,” she said, offering him the flagon. “Being lost in the woods is thirsty work.”

“Er, thank you, my dear,” he said, taking it from her and bringing it to his lips.

The wine, he thought, almost burned with its goodness. It was the best wine he had ever tasted. It was light and golden and rich and playful all at once, tripping its way down his throat. As it reached his stomach, he was filled with an immense sense of peacefulness, making him feel as if nothing could ever be wrong again in his world. His arm which held the flagon dropped to his side of its own volition, and he felt someone removing the flagon from him without rousing himself enough to care.

“Pardon me,” he mumbled, as his knees folded, “but it seems I simply must sit down for a moment.”

“It’s no trouble, Ezra,” he heard Grian say, as gentle hands helped him to the ground. “Sleep now; you’ve chosen well.”

Ezra cracked one eye open and saw the faces leaning over him filtered through an odd greenish cast of light, almost as if it were suddenly twilight, and he struggled for just a moment before giving in to the deep pull of sleep.

“Cake,” he heard the purple-eyed one say in a disgusted tone. “He didn’t even pause. Imagine if we’d offered him an entire feast.”

Ezra slept.

#good omens #good omens au #good omens fanfiction #slow burn #fae AU #crowley is unseelie #aziraphale loves cake entirely too much #ineffable husbands #angst with eventual happy ending

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bloommelon · 5 years

Text

Everything Is Blue

WARNINGS: severe angst, suicidal themes, suggestive sexual content, eventual suicide, mental illnesses, eventual character death, unhappy ending, suicidal content, graphic suicide

A/N: please don't read if you're depressed, this is a very sad story but im proud of it because I actually finished something for ONCE. NONE of this is based on real life, it's all fiction. Jaehyun just fit my idea of this character, and I hope no one gets the wrong idea that I tried to glamorize suicide. And also, I do not feel suicidal and I am not depressed because of writing this, i simply got this idea while thinking I should try and write angst. On another note, I hope whoever reads this likes it or at least it makes you feel some type of emotion. Thank you. *i did not proofread at all btw*

Song: Colors by Halsey

✖✖✖✖

August 3rd

Jaehyun and I sat in a field of Nemophila by the river, the sun shining and clouds floating above us eating strawberries and our laughter filling the hot summer air. Jaehyun had taken me to the museum to see his favorite painting an hour beforehand, telling me it reminded him of me. It was a simple painting, blue sky with fluffy white clouds on a sunny day. I'd almost stayed home that day, not wanting to go anywhere due to a flurry of sudden panic attacks that week. "When you're feeling anxious, come here and call me and I'll come as quick as I can." At that moment, I'd been filled with happiness due to Jaehyun's caring nature but I should have been the one making sure he had somewhere to go when he was upset, but his feelings of sadness weren't noticeable back then. Giving him a hug wasn't enough to stop the pain he felt daily just from living. Laughter hurt, and so did seeing me smile making guilt rush through him at the fact that I brought him some happiness, but not enough for him to change his mind.

September 19th

Jaehyun wrote poetry about clouds and sunshine and the color blue. He would have painted himself blue if it was socially exceptable. Most of the poems he let me read brought tears to my eyes, ruining my mascara. He always wiped the mascara off, then he'd kiss all my tears away telling me that's how poetry should make me feel. I told him many times how intense it felt, the emotions brought out by the poems he wrote and he'd stare at me and say" that's how i feel about you." Intense. Wildly. Airy. Bright and warm like sunshine shining down through clouds. Most people tell you to write when you're feeling blue to get whatever you're feeling out of your system so that you can feel yellow and bright again,but he still wished for the sun to poison him. He wished for dehydration and shock to take him away instead of writing useless poems.

October 13th

Friday the thirteenth. Bad omens were shown, I just didn't recognize them. I look back now and something had been off about Jaehyun that day. His smile wasn't the same. It was crooked in a way that it was almost a frown, but to outsiders it passed as a normal expression of happiness. He painted sometimes just like writing, and his paintings left me feeling blue just like the blue sky in august, like the painting in the museum, like the color of the walls in his room. It wasnt even a sad painting-he'd painted a red rose in a field of baby blue eyes by a river at night. It wasn't even sad, but when i touched the paper after it dried, I just wanted to cry. He'd held me telling me about the meaning behind it. "It's supposed to make you appreciate things and people that are different, but still appreciate the normal things and people too. No one should be left out. That everyone and everything is more than meets the eye, you just have to look deeper." The way he talked made me want to cry, and he could sense something was wrong, but the fact that I couldn't look deeper to notice his sadness made me tell him everything was fine. I pretended I was fine and I pretended he was fine, so that in the moment, I could feel like everything was fine when nothing about that day was fine. That night he'd went home and cried himself to sleep, and he'd almost done something heartwrenching but I couldn't ask him a simple 'are you okay?'. He would have lied anyways, but maybe if i would have pushed him to answer he wouldn't have cried alone that night or almost took a razor to his skin.

November 7th

Jaehyun and I would sit in my room for hours in comfortable silence, him drawing while i read books. He'd been noticeably upset on this day. To the point where I kept asking him what was wrong and was everything okay. He started rambling about death and blood to the point where fear bubbled up inside of me, spilling out into the world and when he noticed I was terrified, he had cried and apologized repeatedly. He'd thrown his drawing pad in the middle of all of this, it getting lost behind my bed. I'd held him for hours after that, hoping he would feel better and calm down. It worked on the outside, and I foolishly believed I'd helped him on the inside as well. He wasn't okay, and the way he had talked about blood and death so freely spoke volumes about what he thought of daily. If only I'd tried to look deeper. Most of us take what we see on the outside and assume that there's nothing more to see and we should look away as to not disturb the normalcy of the world.

December 25th

Christmas day was snowy and beautiful, the sun fighting it's way through the clouds to shine down on everything to try and melt the snow, but the snow was relentless and the roads icy. The gifts didnt matter that day as everyone was together and that made Jaehyun filled to the brim with happiness, which mattered a lot more. That night we lay together wrapped in nothing but the warmest blue blanket we could find, the snow falling against the window and the christmas lights above us in my room shining down us painting our faces in green and red. He was happy, but that didn't mean the pain had suddnely disappeared and that family made the bad thoughts run away, he was just hiding them. That night he whispered how much he loved me , lips against my temple. He told me I was the only gift he needed. He didnt know that he was the only gift I needed, and that him staying could have been so much better. Maybe that's selfish. On Christmas some people expect everything they want to be given but give nothing to others. That year, I was sadly part of the people who expect and was given everything I wanted but I gave nothing.

February 14th

Jaehyun's birthday. I had thrown him a surprise party that he loved, wearing a blue dress with pink hearts on it since it was also Valentine's day. Once he opened his gifts, which was a copy of the painting with the clouds on a sunny day that he absolutely adored and a necklace with my name on it in the shape of a cloud. His dimples stayed out all day, like I wish they would have stayed for life. As a Valentine's gift he gave me a blue rose and a painting of me by the river sitting in the field of Nemophila. That night I ended up in only his blue flannel with marks of his love on my skin the next morning,his whispers of "i love you more than anything" ingrained in my thoughts forever. I'd told him the same, but it didnt count as much since he said it first, and knowing now that that wasn't enough for him to stay breaks my heart all over again.

March 2nd

We spent the day walking around despite him being vocal of not feeling like getting out of bed, and he was a bit angry with me until I got him laughing by singing embarrassing 80's songs and dancing awkwardly. We both danced until we got tired, our legs exhausted and breathing was a difficult feat. I told him that he didn't deserve to be sad and he told me "i deserve whatever the world throws at me" which made me worry about him for weeks. I didnt tell him that, although maybe I should have. I just didn't want to make him feel bad when i started having panic attacks again because of it. He didn't know and didn't mean to, he just was in so much pain.

April 20th

He'd cooked for me on this day, telling me he felt a lot better. He appeared completely calm and peaceful like how some people get after doing things they love. Which he was good at cooking and enjoyed it, so I was extremely happy. He hadn't cooked in months-not like this. He was also baking. He wouldn't let me go in his kitchen. "It's a surprise, darling. Just be patient" Although he acted normal enough, whatever normal means, i sensed sadness coming from his being. After we ate, I felt nauseous. He turned into a concerning boyfriend rather than a happy one which made me upset since I knew he was keeping his sadness a secret. While he went to clean the kitchen after throwing a blanket on my cold body, I felt even more nauseous and after contemplating on whether or not to run to the bathroom my body decided for me. Vomiting isn't something anyone is fond of, and Jaehyun was even more concerned when he found me lying on the floor against the bathtub. He threw all the food away after that and blamed himself for me getting sick, though It was just a case of me eating way too much. Once in his bed, he kept apologizing and ended up crying but I held him and told him everything was okay. He didn't tell me that every small thing affected him so horribly it'd leave him wishing he'd never been born. He didn't know that those small things were things he couldn't help, but his brain told him that he ruined everything.

May 27th

Sitting in the field of Baby blue eyes with him felt different this time. More peaceful. We laid down side by side watching the clouds, he always said he wanted to float in the clouds but not anything about how he wanted to be buried like the roots of the nemophila we laid on. He didn't tell me he didnt want to grow anymore, not by himself and not with me-not with anyone. Instead he told me how much he loved me, that he'd die for me and told me it all day. He wouldn't let his hands off of me, never letting go of my hand or arm or hips. He wouldn't let go. He asked me to stay the night and keot me in his arms until I had to work the next day, getting upset when I left. He didn't tell me I'd only have a week or two left of this. Left of being in love, left of seeing his pretty smile and those dimples he was known for showing almost all the time. He didn't tell me he was looking for reasons to stay, trying so hard not to give up.

June 16th

When I'd woken up, a feeling of dread left me near tears all day. I hadn't seen Jaehyun in three days and it'd gotten late in the day without a word from him which was unusual. I pushed the uncomfortable feeling to the side until I'd decided to leave to go see him after calling him and texting him repeatedly. While walking out the door I remembered that day when he'd terified me with that talk of blood and death and him throwing his drawing pad. Worry filled my being, making me feel sick as I pushed my bed onto the side to find his blue drawing pad.

Tears stream down my face at the drawing I found. In my hands was the reason for all his weird behavior,all his guilt and all of his pain. He wanted to die. My Jaehyun wanted to disappear from this world forever. I throw the drawing pad in a random direction and run. I call all of our friends and his family, wanting to know if they had seen him. None of them had. I didn't want it to be true.

My legs carried me to the field of baby blue eyes by the streaming river, the sun shining down so brightly and the clouds reminding me of the painting Jaehyun loved so much.

My legs were already cramping but I pushed through that pain to find the love of my life laying in a field of nemophila, his wrists slit so terribly blood is all you could see. Flowing from his wrists to drip onto the plants under him, it was so red and gory I stopped breathing, running over to him to begin screaming while on the phone with one of his best friends. Johnny knew something was wrong, his voice got further away as he told Mark to call someone. To call 911, to get help.

In Jaehyun's hand was a a razor blade and I grabbed it, throwing the wretched thing far from us. I kept shaking him and screaming at him to get up. Nothing worked. Around his neck was the cloud necklace, and despite the horror I could see, he looked extremely peaceful, his eyes shut permanently. My Jaehyun was gone, and he'd died where he loved, but he'd felt so unloved to come to this place.

I'd never enjoy bright sunny days or museums again. I couldn't, not when I couldn't see Jaehyun's dimples or hold his warm hand. As much as he wanted to burn, he'd left the world cold. The sun still shined so brightly down on us as if nothing had ever happened in this place.

🌹

#angst #jung jaehyun #jaehyun angst #nct angst #jung jaehyun angst #sadness #possibly very triggering #bmwriting #bloommelonwrites

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