#i am my own damn god

[letsfindblake]

if i’m bipolar, i’m in the state of mania

[katabay]

WOW this has been ROUGH in the Life Events category of things, but. slowly crawling out of that. hopefully

this was the opening scene for a something I started writing after watching the Manben inverview with Nishi Keiko and thinking back to all the classic shoujo manga I stayed up reading back in the day, like damn that's so true Urasawa Naoki

it's partially a love letter to all the greats of the genre that I read, and also to the late night teleseryses that captivated me over the years lmao. it'd be nice to find the time to tackle it properly as a comic, but I'm having fun working on it recreationally :)

✨but since it's recreational, some character info✨

the first character seen is lawrence 'law' valenciano (late 30s), the one with the glasses is cris volante (mid-later 20s). law works at a karinderya, cris is an extremely broke university student.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta / tip jar!

[fuckinfreddie]

im back with another willry scribble dump except this time w/ better paper and 70% more meme

[aeb-art]

even in a story with reader insert, i'm still putting myself in there separately ahahaha so here's another lil thing with some of @venomous-qwille's characters

and then the moment they leave the room:

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

[sleepdeprivedlilbean]

ah yes my favorite duo 💃🕺 : centuries old eldridge horror and his ✨favorite man slut✨

close-ups and my ramblings under the cut (it’s a lot guys. i have a lot of feelings about them and i was just YAPPING 😫)

yall really ate up my last post with Nightmare which omg thank u guys so much for that 🥺

now here’s more 😈

anyway

slutty manservant isn’t the only outfit Killer has, but it’s definitely his favorite lmao (the amount of times he’s been asked if he’s a Lust variant is crazy 💀. don’t get me wrong tho they r besties 💅)

the trench coat vibe was also definitely the way to go with Nightmare and i just 😫

now what’s their dynamic?

i definitely feel like my version of Nightmare and Killer are very much a “talks and listens” duo like shown with the chibi little guys

honestly tho, at first their relationship was strictly business and transactional, but the more time they spent together, the more comfortable they got in each others company and eventually became friends and equals and maybe more

and i feel like during all of that it’s just the two of them. Murder and Horror don’t show up until waaay later once Killer and Nightmare’s relationship has already been established

and no their relationship (whatever it may be, romantic or not i’ll be honest i still haven’t decided 🥲) isn’t toxic, as how i c my Nightmare isn’t anything like cannon Nightmare if that wasn’t already clear

my Nightmare, once free from the rage fueled haze of his corruption, is actually rather calm, collected, and dare say kind in his own way (he is a man of action and very few words)

he doesn’t create negativity out of malicious intent, but rather out of necessity, and actively will comfort those who are greatly struggling, which is how he first came into contact with Killer, seeing him isolated in his dying world

Killer was the first person Nightmare had attempted to “comfort” per say, and was freshly free from his corrupted mentality, hence, y he wasn’t very good at it lol. also, the corruption was reason he hadn’t gotten to Killer sooner in the first place, as he as actively enjoying the suffering Killer was going through at the time. if that makes sense???

anyway, sure they might have been cold to each other at first, with a lack of comforting on Nightmare’s part which somehow turned into a partnership?? but nothing was ever abusive within their relationship

i feel like the turning point for them would be that Nightmare admits to Killer in a moment of vulnerability that he was the first and only person to treat him like he wasn’t some, abomination. monster. freak

he’s never judged him based on his poor past actions, nor is role/duty

he accepts him. and all of him. fully and with all of his flaws not that he has any

(god i love them)

i do feel like if they were in a romantic relationship it’d be rather casual in a way that makes it clear there’s something going on between them, but they’re definitely not the type for pda (veeerrry rarely and only in front of people the trust. it’s a different story when they’re in bed tho 😏)

they’re the old married couple that banters and teases each other but with much more sexual tension lol

ok that’s enough yapping from me haha

if you’ve made it this far genuinely ur the best like wow 🥹

this was a looooot of nonsense so thanks for taking the time to read it all

i’ll be honest i still have more to say but like 💀 nah im cut off-

maybe someday tho…

alright bye 😘

[cerealmonster15]

right clicks boyfriend -> relationship -> discuss expanding the polycule

throws my shakey handed hurried doodle at you and runs back to the tasks i was supposed to be doing. even tho this is basically the same joke i drew of them a little while ago kind of teehee oopsie :3

[bacchuschucklefuck]

hey just wanna pop in n say thank u so much for drawing with me & fucking with my sketch. that was really really awesome not only did I have fun but I also learned a lot! kinda sick&twisted rn and also may have gotten way too into terra nil to draw but I keep the drawing experience close to my heart. hope we can do that again soon #drawinggang

[gjsxj0]

mindless rambling in tags don't mind me

[bougiebutchbitch]

my Izzy playlist is just 'Heaven on Their Minds' and 'Damned for All Time' from Jesus Christ Superstar and 'Brutus' and 'Rex' by Buttress and 'Who Wants To Live Forever' and 'Show Must Go On' by Freddie Mercury and 'Labour' by Paloma Paris and you may be starting to sense certain themes

[plan-3-tmars]

"You're Just Sitting On The Train" - Double MV Analysis

There's a conversation between the two main character's in a podcast I love called Red Valley which reminds me of the imagery in Double.

"You know when you're on a train, and it's held up, and you're just stuck in the middle of a field while they get the leaves off the line or whatever, and you're going to be hopelessly late, there might be awful consequences to get stressed about but... there's literally nothing you can do about it. It's not your fault. Hopefully you've got a book or something. You're just sitting on the train."

The conversation in context with the scene is about being able to put your problems and stresses, like being late for work, on someone else's shoulders. Let them take responsibility for what's going on so you can feel some relief. It got me thinking about Mikoto and Orekoto (who I'm just going to call John thanks to Neoplasm) and I want to talk about what I think the meaning of it is!!

Trains have many, many different meanings - like almost a ridiculous amount of different interpretations can be made - but I think the meanings that are the most important while talking about Mikoto are trains representing the passage of time, destiny and loneliness.

Loneliness:

While on a train, or waiting for one, you are surrounded by people. However as shown here, most keep their head down and don't speak unless spoken too. It gives a sense of loneliness, you are surrounded by people yet completely alone.

I think this could apply to Mikoto's situation and was possibly a stress factor for him. It is implied from his T1 interrogation questions that Mikoto was popular enough, knowing a lot of people either now or back in high school, but he doesn't seem to open up to any of them. He's alone in the big city with nobody to talk to. He lies to his mother that everything's okay in their phone call and bottles up his stress. Because of this he is dependant on John to function : "But if you persist, I guess it's my job to keep things on an even keel."

The Passage of Time:

This shot showcases how long the train actually is, it flies through each carriage insanely fast, blurring slightly from the speed alone.

It's been extremely clear since T1 that Mikoto suffers heavily from dissociative amnesia, something that is a very common symptom of DID, and I think the fact this shot blurs could be representing that.

Trains representing time and how humans view the passage of time is probably one of the most popular ways they appear, we tend to think of time as one thing that moves forward constantly in a straight line, similar to an uninterrupted train on a train track, but for Mikoto (and John) time is blurry, hazy. It may seem like things move too fast to keep track of (pun not intended) or individuals with DID can sometimes describe it as feeling like you're missing hours, fronting in a place or room you know you weren't in before and being unaware of the events that led up to you getting to this point.

This feeling of missing hours is relevant to this specific scene as after the camera moves through the train the first person we see is Mikoto - not John, who was in the doorway.

Destiny:

Trains are always headed to a specific location so they can also be associated with life's journey, or in other words, fate and destiny.

Both Mikoto and John are shown as the passengers on their train, not the conductor. They are not in control over life's events, just sitting on the train and this is extremely stressing - especially for Mikoto. John says things like : "another day with that hardly barely there of a smile // You're going to break // You're overdoing it, you're already broken". Mikoto seems to find it hard to deal with life's events, aka the train ride, and perhaps feels like the end destination is unattainable at times of stress.

This point is stressed further imo by the fact that we can't see outside. The windows of the train are either white or black for the majority of the MV, sometimes light or 1 image makes itself known but never a full image of what's actually outside.

Bonus: The Train's Maps!

The map's of the train are shown glitched out, also possibly hinting to the feeling of the train's final destination being unattainable, or could also be referencing hazy memories, but I think this specific detail is about John.

We see the maps glitching out when John sings the lyric : "I don't even know the reason why I'm here." [Future Mars I now know this was Mikoto singing but um.. my overall point still stands.] I think the maps glitching could represent the feeling of the loss of purpose.

John was 'born' in order to protect Mikoto, to help carry the burden of whatever is stressing him so much, yet instead of helping Mikoto he ended up being scared of him ("hey, now I saved you right? So why in the hell are you crying?") and it was John's actions that landed them in Milgram - an environment that Mikoto finds extremely stressing, to the point of there being a chance he goes dormant in T3.

Trains are created to arrive at a certain destination, so a train with no idea where it's going (glitchy maps) has lost its purpose.

Despite being an alter 'born' to protect, John has accidently caused Mikoto more harm when he tries, so he questions his role in the system.

Edit: Journey into the Subconscious

After staring at the MV a couple more times I think there's one more train theme I forgot to mention that fits here too, which is that trains can sometimes represent a journey into the mind.

I think there's a chance that the train could represent the system as a whole, or more specifically headspace. The only people on the train are John and Mikoto and the fact we never see what's outside gives a sort of surreal, dream like atmosphere, almost as if this was happening in an environment with no psychical appearance.

The lyrics sung in Double seem to be more directed at Mikoto than the actual audience, and from the last line "I'm so sorry" we can deduce that this song is something of an apology and explanation of John's actions that he wants Mikoto to hear.

[acequeenking]

Fandom: Tekken

Relationship: Kazama Jun/Mishima Kazuya

Rating: Explicit (this one has sexy times so not for kiddos)

THIS IS POST TEKKEN 8. BIG TEKKEN 8 SPOILERS. DON'T READ IT WITHOUT FINISHING THE GAME UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS.

Additional Tags: Reunion, Reunion sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Awkward Conversations About Not-So-Accidentally Trying to Murder Your Son and Actually Murdering Your Dad and Kind of Accidentally Abandoning Your Unknown Baby-Mama, Forgiveness, Getting Back Together, Dealing with the mental fallout of Tekken 2 to Tekken 8, which for both of them is...a lot, but they're getting there

"I am not the man you want me to be," Kazuya admits. "But that does not mean the man I am does not love you."

"...Still?" Jun asks, the word the only thing that can quite get out of her throat.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

strangling my past self How Did You Write Reasonably Sized Fics So Easily

[s1nful-sa1nt]

okay hear me out

Brienne x werewolf reader

She's tasked with getting the reader from point A (their home in the middle of bumfuck nowhere probably) to point B (a doctor/witch who might be able to cure them) safely, but is warned that the reader is afflicted with a terrible curse that makes them transform into something beast-like and otherworldly by moonlight.

Brienne scoffs at this thinking it's nothing more than a cruel joke, and she goes to fetch the reader.

They embark on their several-some measure of time-long journey, almost arriving at their destination, and they have to set up camp for the night.

Of course, the reader is terrified because this particular night happens to be THE night, but Brienne has absolutely none of it. The sun sets, they eat, and both crawl into their respective tents for the night.

The reader, however, feels the beginning of the transformation nagging at their bones and they burst forth from the tent, stripping their clothes as they charge deeper into the woods to avoid becoming a beast in front of Brienne.

The commotion is fairly loud and wakes Brienne, so she grabs her sword and heads out to see what was happening. Immediately, she notices the readers tent wide open and nobody inside. Looking further, she spots a trail of... clothing? What on earth happened? So she decides to follow the clothes that have been strewn about the forest floor.

Meanwhile, the reader has found a clearing large enough to transform without hurting themselves, and they finally let go. Their bones snap and painfully rearrange themselves, their teeth fall out and are replaced by bright white fangs. Dark grey fur races across their broken and bloody skin, nails elongating and turning black. Eyes going from their normal color to a striking gold.

Their shift is complete after several agonizing minutes, and it's just in time for them to notice a presence behind them. Brienne. How did she find them, and more importantly, why hasn't she started running away yet? So the reader turns to face her and lets out a deep and guttural snarl. Fear washed across Brienne's face but she stands her ground.

This has never happened before. Their whole life, reader had been treated as a monster by everyone they knew. Even now, they were trying to get rid of this curse to live out a normal life.

And yet, Brienne stayed. In fact, she stepped closer and closer. The reader let out deep growls with each step but remained hunched over on all fours, still too weak and pained to move.

Finally, Brienne is less than an arm's length from the great beast. She reaches out, drawing back slightly when the reader pulls their head back, only to place her palm directly onto their forehead.

She sets her sword down and sits on the ground to try and show the reader that she isn't afraid of them, and the reader moves to sit down in front of her. Their eyes are locked, and Brienne brings both of her hands to cup the readers cheeks.

The reader has never felt affection like this before, and it's almost too much. They want to run away, but something in Brienne's eyes convince them to stay. Is it... love?

Over the course of the journey, the two had become close. The reader had almost immediately fallen for Brienne because who wouldn't, but Brienne fell harder when she realized the reader truly cared for her and saw past what she perceived as a "hideous appearance"

Finally, it ends when the reader curls up around Brienne and wraps their tail around her arm, convincing Brienne to sleep on top of them. She accepts and curls into the giant mound of fur before rather quickly falling asleep. In the morning, they return back to the camp where the reader decides they don't want to be cured if it means they can stay with Brienne.

She simply laughs and pulls the reader in for a kiss

(like of course this is gonna be more fleshed out and I'm not totally sure if all this makes sense bc it's like 1AM here and I should be asleep but I'm not)

[batboys-cumdumpster]

Listen, if you think Aedion was in the wrong for his attitude towards Lysandra in the beginning of KOA then perhaps you need to rethink about what happened.

Without his consent, a plan was made for him to sire children he could never claim as his own. Without. His. Consent.

That is grounds to be considered SA.

Aedion is not in the wrong for how he treated Lysandra for this. He should not have been in the dark about this plan. Aelin and Lysandra are very, very, very wrong for having made this plan without him.