#i am now having violent Thoughts about getting a shot and my whole body is all fucked up about it

[binch-i-might-be]

me? I'm nauseous

[wonysugar]

hate rodrigo (literally) | aeri uchinaga

a/n: this is not even a fic this is a tiny little one shot that i wrote yesterday night AT LIKE TWO AM due to thoughts we had in a discord server ahem anyways I FELL ASLEEP THO. soo have this now!!

genre : really bad crack smut like i genuinely have no idea how to describe this

word count : like 600 something?

tags : one shot, smut (obvs), crack, ptv mention, falling in reverse mention, olivia Rodrigo mention, mcr mention, taylor swift mention (sorry @pupyuj)

pairing : angsty!giselle x whitegirlmusic!femreader (I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO LABEL THISSFJEKF)

your music taste wasn’t something you particularly shared with people, but you didn’t hide it, either. to you, it was music, nothing more, nothing less.

however, one of your friends, aeri, took music very, very seriously, and it really showed. she had a certain aesthetic, she wore certain things and god, did she listen to certain music.

“no like i genuinely can’t grasp the fact that you unironically listen to olivia rodrigo?” she laughed, leaning back on her bed as you stared at her in disbelief.

“god aeri, some of her songs are good, you just haven’t tried them.” you snapped back, wearing a convinced smile as you proceed to jokingly hit her arm.

“okay, sure, whatever. but just imagine getting to know someone, going on dates with them, all the sha-bang. then, when it’s time to get down and freaky, they turn on their sex playlist and motherfucking driver’s license starts playing??”

she was basically cackling at that point and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. defending your cause seemed like it would’ve been difficult, with how far up her own ass she was.

“yeah, because that isn’t a sex song? olivia rodrigo doesn’t make fucking sex music?? try putting a falling in reverse song while you get naked, see how that works out for you.” you fight back.

“oh i don’t know about you, but i’d be soaked for sure. plus, anything would be better than hearing young adult women sing about their previous relationship like it was a war they fought in.” she kid, crossing her arms in victory, as if she even won the argument in the first place.

“i’m gonna make you swallow those words right back up, uchinaga.”

“try me, l/n.”

-

“f-fuck y/n, go- mmh- slower..”

so, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way!

it originally was just the both of you, taking turns and putting different songs on the bluetooth speaker and rating them based on ‘how wet it got you’.

turns out, while that was a theory stage, there seemed to be a practice one too, and you’ve been in it for the past 10 minutes now.

thrusting your fake cock in and out of her, paying no mind to the very loud, very obnoxious pierce the veil song that was playing in the background, you pinned her hands above her head. your pace increased with time, and the decibels of her voice increased with the pace.

“oh my god y/n pleasepleasepleasepleasee i’m s-so sorry i- fuck me- i didn’t mean-“ she cried, poor thing probably didn’t even realize that her black eyeliner was running all over her cheeks. her arms and legs wrapped around you,

“shut your fucking mouth and take it, you emo fucking cumslut.” you slammed your strap into her as she yelled out your name. while she was pleading and begging for something, you were on top of her perfect laying-in-mcr-bedsheets body.

she, herself, wasn’t aware of what she was begging for, her mind was completely blank. all she could think about was how good her pussy felt when you pounded it so violently, when you were being so aggressive with her that you just used her body however you wanted.

you thought that whole thing would be a one-time occurrence, but no, it happened a second time, when she said that taylor swift had mid music. was she doing it on purpose or something?

anyways,

yes, you fucked her with the 1989 album playing.

[lil-binuu]

“𝓘’𝓶 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾” ✧˖*°࿐

elias has a nightmare

610 words

sorry for being absent mls, hope this makes up for it!

“No no no, Yn!”

You jumped out of your slumber. The sudden yell was followed by deep sobs and the muttering of your name over and over. You quickly pushed yourself up in bed to see Elias breathing violently with shaking hands covering his face. Moving closer towards him, you reached out to him.

“Elias?”

You said softly, gently stroking his hand. Peaking through the gap in his fingers, you could see his red eyes, glazed over with tears.

“Are you okay?”

You had never seen him cry like this before.

“Oh, thank god.” He choked. “I thought it was real.”

He opened his arms, wrapping them tightly around you before pulling you close. You could feel his body trembling. Your head resting close to his, you lifted a hand to wipe the tears still falling down the sides of his face. He swallowed hard.

“I had a nightmare.”

“Should I get you some water?”

Elias answered quickly, “No- no, please, just stay here with me.” His words were almost a whisper, but you could still hear the fear in his voice.

He pushed his face into the top of your head, closing his eyes to breathe in your scent deeply. You felt his chest rising and dropping slower and slower as he began to calm himself down. You slid your arm around his side, caressing his skin.

You lifted your head to place a kiss on his neck before asking, “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

Elias swallowed again. “You died.”

“What?”

“You died. I watched you die.” His jaw tightened, “We were cooking together, and I- I had my back turned to you and when I turned around... You.. you got shot, and fell and I- I ran to you but…but as I tried to help you, you started bleeding. A- A lot. There was so much blood.” Elias whispered.

“Elias,” You began, “That would never happen, you know that right?”

He didn’t look at you.

“I- I held you in my arms… I tried to wake you up, and- and talk to you, but y-you just wouldn’t stop bleeding.”

He sniffed as more tears fell. “I tried to find the wound but y- you-” His words turned to sobs.

You pushed yourself up, “Elias, it’s okay, I’m alive. Please don’t cry!”

He reached a hand to cup your cheek while wiping his tears with the other. “I know. I just- I just want to protect you. So when I have a dream about you getting hurt- being killed… and I couldn’t save you ... it- it made me…” Elias exhaled shakily.

You sat up further. “You saved my life before, Elias. And that’s more than I could ever ask for.”

“I know, but, I saved you and now I have to protect you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I have to do it.” Elias interrupted, sitting up, “I need to protect you. What’s the whole point of this if I don’t? You mean everything to me.”

He reached his hand around the back of your neck. He pulled you forward, meeting your lips with his. He kissed you passionately, needing to have you. His mouth drew yours in, sending tingles sparkling around your body. He stroked his thumb gently back and forth on your cheek, parting from your lips for only a second to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you on top of him. He groaned softly as you ran your fingers through his hair, the hum of his voice buried in your embrace. You placed soft kisses along his hairline, taking a moment to whisper in his ear,

“I’m here for you”

thank you sm for reading!! i am shit at writing kiss scenes as you could probably tell but i hope you still enjoyed & ilyy <333

[sasukeuchihaisreallycool]

Testosterone Things No One Told Me About

Disclaimer: these are not universal experiences. Everyone has different bodily changes that happen at different paces and different amounts. These are just the things I've experienced so far

Hi I'm an FTM trans man I've been doing HTR for about 5 years now so I thought I'd impart some fun facts about it I've learned.

1. Male patterned balding. I am 24 and my hair is thinning at quite a rapid pace. It was very thick when I first started and at this point I'm probably gonna be bald on the top of my head by the time I'm 30. I have a great beard though so that's cool.

2. HORNY. Testosterone increases your sex drive, you will most likely be uncomfortably horny all the time for the first half a year if not more. 24 hours after I do my shot I also feel an increased sex drive as well and I'm asexual so that was shocking to me in the beginning.

3. Puberty #2 Electric Boogaloo. You will basically be going through a second puberty when you start and your body gets used to the changes. I'm talking acne, oily skin, greasy hair, sweating, body odor, the whole nine yards. I felt like shit about myself and wondered if I made a mistake for a long time while I was going through this first stretch, it'll be okay just relax it'll pass in time. I feel great now.

4. Weight Gain. Your body is redistributing fat to different areas, I gained about 20-30 pounds. I eat fairly healthy and I exercise regularly and it still happened so don't worry that's normal.

5. Voice Change. You will sound like a 14 year old boy and your voice will crack a lot. I am a singer so this was a very difficult thing for me to deal with. This also made me feel like shit and depressed because I sang horribly during that time period, it'll pass and you can learn to sing in a lower key don't give up you can retrain yourself!

6. Anger. I started getting a lot angrier and irritated more easily, I still do at times. Again 24 hours after my shot it's not uncommon for me to be more easily frustrated and get pissed off at stupid things. This does not make you a bad person or an "evil violent man" You can deal with these new feelings in constructive healthy non violent ways. I've never been a particularly angry person so this was frightening to me at first and I felt guilty for having those feelings.

7. Shots. I do the injection into my tummy fat method, I started doing it in the thigh and then switched. I do self inject, I used to be TERRIFIED of shots, I still get some anxiety over it at times. It took me a long time and many visits to Planned Parenthood to be able to do it myself. It can be done with persistence and bravery! If it helps here's my plan of action I did to overcome my fear:

Step 1. Watch YouTube videos of people injecting themselves so start desensitizing yourself to it.

Step 2. Go to the doctor, have them do it, but watch when they do.

Step 3. Have the doctor do it, but put your hand on theirs while they are.

Step 4. Have the doctor do it but put your hand on theirs and push the plunger in yourself.

Step 5. Hold the needle yourself this time and have the doctor put their hand over yours to help you push the needle into your skin. This step is the hardest step.

Step 6. Go to the doctor and have them stand by to assist you while you attempt to do it on your own. So in case you can't get yourself to do it they're there to help/do it for you.

This is what worked for me, there's non-injection methods as well people do so don't fret if you're not up for that. Take as much time as you need on these steps before moving on to the next one. There's no rush you'll get it when you get it.

8. Male Privilege. If you pass very well as I do strangers will start thinking you're a cis male which is great, but you will also start being treated differently in public. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. I've ended up becoming the one my female friends would ask to walk them home at night because they wanted a man with them to deter predators from approaching them. And vice versa I've also become aware that I now can make women uncomfortable when I'm walking behind them at night as well. Once again this does not make you an "Evil Man" just be aware of the people around you. Use your newfound privilege to your advantage and stick up for your female/nonbinary/non passing friends :)

9. Body Hair. You get a lot more body hair. I was always a hairy person, I had no idea how much more I'd get but it was a lot. Your butt, back, and chest are gonna get hairy. It's very annoying especially if you're someone who enjoys being shaved.

10. Personal Smell. This is a weird one, but your smell changes. It's not a bad smell you just... Smell like a man now. I thought I stank or something cause like I said puberty 2 was rough but no matter how many showers you take the man smell does not go away. You get used to it I don't even notice now, no one ever did notice except for me to begin with.

I hope this was helpful, I'll add more if I think of anything. Enjoy your transition it's got it's pros and cons, but it's worth it and you're not making a mistake I promise.

[cosmerelists]

Things that Wax & Szeth Could Talk About

[Spoilers for Mistborn Era 2 & for Stormlight Archives!]

Have you ever thought about how much Wax & Szeth have in common? No? Well, just imagine all of the things they could reasonably talk about! Things like...

1. Dying

Wax: Yeah, I died once.

Wax: Met God and everything.

Wax: He told me that I could embark on the adventure that was death, or I could continue on the adventure that was life. To me, life felt like more of a duty than an adventure.

Wax: But I literally always pick duty, so I picked life, and here I am.

Szeth: I was brought back against my will.

Szeth: I SAID I wanted to stay dead and that I DIDN’T want to study, but Nale was all, “Sucks to be you. Here’s your new sword.”

Szeth: And then he nailed my soul to my body. Somewhat badly. 

Wax: I’m...very sorry to hear that? 

Szeth (solemnly): Thank you.

2. Flying

Wax: I fly by ingesting steel which allows me to Push on metals in the environment, launching me into the air.

Wax: I can also make myself lighter or heavier, which helps somehow.

Szeth: I fly by breathing in Stormlight and then Lashing myself in various directions. 

Wax: I love it. You never feel so free as you do when you’re soaring through the air, you know?

Szeth: I have never felt free a day in my life.

Wax: I’m...very sorry to hear that?

Szeth (solemnly): Thank you.

3. Killing

Wax: I do seem to kill a lot of people.

Wax: I once meat-grinded my way through an entire skyscraper of people, floor by floor.

Szeth: I killed my way across many countries.

Wax: Are you a lawman?

Szeth: Assassin.

Wax: ...Should I be arresting you?

Szeth: No--I already died for that. Now I am reborn. And I don’t assassinate any more. Very often.

Wax: Very often?

Szeth: I did kill the man who ordered all of the assassinations to begin with.

Wax: Well, that seems fair.

Szeth: Thank you.

4. Social class

Wax: I’m a noble, but I tried to reject that for a while by becoming a Gentleman Lawman in the Roughs.

Wax: Now I’m a Roughs Politician.

Wax: So long as its backwards, I feel fine.

Szeth: The status of my family has not yet been revealed to readers.

Szeth: But since I was bonded to an Honorblade, many readers think that they can guess.

Wax: You were a noble too?

Szeth: Heck no.

Szeth: In my society, only the lowest of the low engage in something as barbaric as fighting.

Szeth: Presumably, I was always considered scum.

Wax: I don’t want to keep saying “I’m sorry” but...

5. Weight

Wax: Can you imagine actually weighing what you weigh?

Szeth: Not lash myself upwards so that I’m super light on my feet? Seems fake.

Wax: Normal people have it rough.

6. Having to be the mature one

Wax: Wayne is family and my best friend.

Wax: But I have to make sure he doesn’t pocket anything too valuable or make the sort of comment that’ll get him shot, you know?

Szeth: I do. My sword would love to kill more people and eat more souls, but sometimes I have to put my foot down and say “Not today.”

7. Following inanimate objects

Szeth: People don’t understand, but I had to obey my Oathstone. 

Szeth: As a Truthless, that stone commanded my life.

Wax: I think I might understand - sort of?

Wax: This earring lets me talk to God.

Szeth: Our god is dead.

Wax: Man, wouldn’t that be nice sometimes.

Szeth: What?

Wax: What?

8. The Law

Szeth: As a Skybreaker, I am to obey the law wherever I find myself.

Szeth: But Nale says that human laws are frail and prone to injustice.

Wax: I understand how you feel.

Wax: I once had to face off against a fellow lawman who argued that the law only protected the powerful, and that real change would take a violent overthrow of the whole social order.

Szeth: What did you do?

Wax: Arrested him. What about you?

Szeth: Swore to follow this guy I sort of knew.

Wax: How is that uh going for you?

Szeth: Pretty well thank you for asking.

9. The Drama

Szeth: I wore white on the day I was to kill a king.

Wax: I wear Roughs clothes in the city and nice suits in the Roughs.

Szeth: I cut my way into buildings with my magic sword.

Wax: I crash through walls, windows, the floor--you name it.

Szeth: I am excellent at lurking.

Wax: I am the best at looming.

Szeth: I once fought a man in the middle of a storm, running across entire plateaus that had been tossed into the air in the tumult. 

Wax: Came back to life, held the powers of Creation, and pulled down an entire Airship of War using my powers. 

Szeth: ...

Wax: ...

Wax: Did we just become best friends?

[s0nia246]

Prologue: Remnant's Resonance

(Thank you, everyone, for like my au and thank @melancholyofinvisibleshores for the ideas. So for bad writing. Blood and Gore warning)

All I remember was bright light, then a pitch black sky with no moon, yet the trees cast shadows, the leaves to color of blood.

My body was stuck to the ground like glue, and it’s only when my brain started waking up that I could move my limbs at all. Then came the pain.

The throbbing in my head as if someone had taken a hammer to my skull, my hands on fire, but they were too numb to notice any of this until the world came into focus.

It was so cold.

So very cold.

Where.... am I

Where is everyone......

What happened to Remnant.....

Did the plan work.....

did it not.....

No. It had to have worked.

I'm not dead. It was just a hallucination. An illusion brought on by exhaustion. That's all it was. A figment of my imagination. Just a dream. My subconscious must be going mad from trying to make sense of everything that has happened. I just gave to open my eyes to confirm, yet when I moved my neck, an intense, piercing, shooting pain shot through every nerve ending in my body that made me cry out in agony, clutching at my chest and screaming until tears streamed down my face.

What's happening to me?!

Why can't I move!

What has been done to me?!

How will I ever get out of here?!

My mind screamed.

This isn't real!

This isn't real! My inner voice repeated, trying desperately to convince myself that it wasn't real.

But it was really alright. I was stuck in some kind of forest with no clear path leading anywhere. Wait? This looks familiar....am I in the Everfall forest? But how did I get here?

Ruby quickly sat up as all her memories flooded back to her. Everything she had done and what she knew about came flooding in. Her teammates, their mission, her friends, Fighting Salem, everything.

She looked around for anything that could help her escape this place. The trees, trees everywhere! They seemed to cover every available inch of land within sight. There didn't appear to be a way to climb them even if there was a path she could see in front of her.

Nothing.

Just endless foliage all around her. Pain started to spread through her lower abdomen, which prompted Ruby to try and sit more upright.

The pain intensified, making her grip her stomach tightly in order to stop herself from screaming anymore. But the pain kept spreading through her whole body, and before she knew it, she was crying uncontrollably again.

The pain then went up her body to her lungs and throat, and she couldn't control it anymore! She put her hand over her mouth as she felt something coming out of it ..something red... blood.

No no no no no NO!

I don't want this to be real!!

Please, God no!

Don't take this from me.

I can't handle anything else right now!

Not today! Not now! Please! Someone! Anyone, please help me!!! Help her!!!! Save her!!!!!!!!!!!

She threw up in her hand as she continued sobbing loudly, feeling helpless as her entire body shook from a wave of grief.

As the last thing that left her lips was 'Please no, please no', she let go. After everything she had experienced that night alone, she finally allowed herself to collapse onto her side, curling into a fetal position as she continued to scream in anguish.

Her blood landed on the snow like a crimson waterfall, and soon, her body grew colder with each passing second. Soon enough, she began shivering violently as cold sweat dripped down her face and fell onto the ground.

She looked down at her bloody throw up and noticed a gold scepter adorned with intricate engravings.

"How did that come out of me?" Ruby thought as she picked up scepter. It was as big as her hands. She puts the Relic on her belt loop as she she looked around at her surroundings once more, still seeing nothing but forest, trees, and more woods.

Nothing changed.... was that opening always there?

Ruby squinted her silver eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever had caused her such extreme discomfort, hoping it would disappear like the rest of the scenery. It didn't, though, even after staring at the dark horizon for nearly 30 minutes without seeing a thing.

The only difference between the surrounding forest was the large patch of ice where she had thrown up, and her blood stained the snowy landscape.

"Why is her grave her?" Ruby had the get up. She had to see if it was true.. If she truly was Summer's grave.

She struggled to get up, using her hands and arms to push herself upright against the tree trunk that supported her. Each time she tried, the pain got worse.

Every time she took a step towards her late mother's grave though, it stopped. Like the pain was somehow negated by the snow. Or maybe... it was because of the ice covering the ground.

Either way, it made her feel better. She was getting somewhere. She had to keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other, no matter how painful or agonizing it might be. Ruby was strong, tougher than she looked, she reminded herself as she pushed forward, trying to ignore the pain radiating throughout her whole body.

"Summer Rose / Thus Kindly I Scatter." Read her mother's grave stone. She read them slowly as she limped forward.

She stared at the letters etched in the smooth white rock, feeling her legs start giving out under her. It hurt so much. All of her muscles ached, especially her legs and arms. And she felt hot and cold. She was sweating profusely, and she couldn't seem to control her shaking.

She leaned against the gravestone, placing one knee to the ground and using it for support before she slumped down to the ground, letting herself fall to the ground in a heap, the everything was on her mind, she just want to talk to anyone at this point.

"Please. Where are you? Are you okay? Are you scared? Am I too late?"

Her silver eyes looked up over the cliff edge, and her eyes widened in fear. A large pool of ink-black liquid that fills the lake below her glowed a deep red as blood spilled from the edges. It ran over the rocks, forming a wide pool of thick black ink before spilling out into the frozen waters of Lake Everglade.

As she watched, horrified, a large unknown grimm jumped from the surface and swam towards her, grabbing onto the edge of the stone.

They are far more terrible than every Grimm she has ever encountered, and they are advancing towards her, their murmurs forming discernible words now:

"You are Little Red Riding Hood! Little Red Riding Hood, you are! You play with the birds, the bees, and the woods! Your name is Little Red Riding Hood! Your name is Ruby Rose!"

Hearing her name spoken by the Grimm company is what breaks Ruby out of her stupor. In a heartbeat, she activates her semblance and zooms out of the clearing.

"Don't run Ruby. Everyone misses you. We're so glad you decided to come back. Come on home now!" the grimm voices called out in unison. One of them added, "It's okay now. We miss you very much." before fading away completely. "We'll be waiting for you. We love you."

Ruby felt tears run down her cheeks, as another thought crossed her mind:

What have I become...?

@weiss-royal-schnee @surefootcleric

[cordeliawhohung]

@archonsabyss AHHHHH i received your ask and i saw it during work but i wanted to give a proper breakdown of it!!! i'm also doing it here that way i can like, respond to specific paragraphs easier and so it's easier to follow ;laskdjf;asldj

everyone, this is about to be an in depth break down of "As You Wish," a knight!Price x fem!princess!Reader one shot i made for a challenge, so if you haven't read it there's tons of spoilers so beware! anyone interested in a big breakdown of this story, feel free to read but it's a mess because i cannot keep a coherent thought.

anyways.... let's begin

First off, I'm so so so glad someone liked that line about the stars!!! Because like, when I wrote it i was thinking about how we humans will look at this vast expanse of stars and are like "i gotta name these bitches" or we'll force ourselves to group up stars to name them rather than just name them one by one (probably because we would quite literally run out of names....) and i'm just AHH so happy :3

As for Price calling reader princess that was lowkey fan service within itself al;skdfj Like??? Him just saying that in that fucking husky ass voice of his like??? But you are, of course, the princess so what else is he going to call you???

And YES the chin tilt i just mmmm i'm a whore for that, sorry. Slut alert, but the slut is ME.

THANK GOD i was super worried about writing Price because I've only written like half a drabble for him previously a;lskdjf

If I am being honest, I held back on the violence a LOT. Like, I wanted to go into depth about Eilra's death, about everyone being slaughtered, how Price was covered in the gore of it, how the bodies radiated heat you could see the steam from.... you get the point. HOWEVER the whole line of "look at me" and Price trying to protect the princess from seeing the gore? From seeing her friend slaughtered? 100% way better than the angst. I mean it still is angst but you get me.

AND YES "feed you by my own hand, if I must." Like him just being so violently caring? If that makes sense? You're literally the whole reason he even was traveling to Draewen, and he's not going to just let you die because you can't force down food ):

Whenever I wrote that Price smiled, just know I was imagining him smiling like this:

you know like that tired smile??? Tell the man to sleep and he's like, well I guess I don't have a choice and he's just smiling like AGHSD:KJF

Also, I'm SO GLAD THE PACING WAS OKAY. i was like who is gonna read a near 9k word fucking fic in one sitting the pacing has to be GOOD and i was so worried I was going to loose people with it getting boring but AHHH

and YES the constellations!!! I have such an in depth idea about the gods and their meanings and their interactions with this world that i just... obviously couldn't put in because i might as well write a whole ass story at that point lmfao.

also just know everything that price does that is charming is all me, bb ;) (negative rizz) ((totally didn't spend like 2 hours straight of thinking per line of dialogue....)

LMFAO i just imagine you as a genie now lmfao. but lowkey when I write i think about it like a movie. like the way the camera angle is, how the lighting is, the expressions, etc. So i try and catch those small details as best as i can ): like her noticing he's not married (no necklace) him comparing her to the goddess of beauty (not the same thing as comparing her to Aphrodite she's not gonna receive wrath or anything lmfao) and just UGH i love these idiots.

Once again, I wanted to make the action more intense here but I was like, chill, it's a one shot, it'll be fine.

AND YES MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE SERIES: PRICE RIPPING YOUR CLOTHES OFF TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.

Because this is what you do irl. You fall into a freezing stream, you need to get those clothes off FAST. Especially back in the day. If you ever get caught in a river or something IRL, wearing synthetic clothing (think, like, nylon or something idk) compared to cotton is LIFE SAVING. cotton will hold that cold water and it FUCKING HURTS. wearing something synthetic? dries in an instant (i am speaking from experience i.... don't wanna talk about it LOL)

so he rips the clothes off, tries to dry her, RISKS the fire and smoke of attracting more people just to save her life? Uses his own body heat to try and warm her? rubbing to create friction? refusing to gawk at her naked body? showing her respect the moment he's sure she won't die? I COULD GO ON FOREVER.

YES UGH AND I HAVE HEADCANNONS (or would it just be cannon at this point since... i'm the writer... hmmm) about their love and the way it's literally connected with chaos i have SO SO SO MANY IDEAS THAT BLOOMED AND ugh perhaps one day i will turn this into a full series. it's been rotting my brain all day at work ):

I am a SLUT for the trope of like, someone of higher power asks someone their subordinate to do something, and they're like "is that an order?" "it's a request" LIKE she obviously holds the power. she's a princess. he might be protecting her, but he answers to her!!! and she's being soft and is like, allowing him to make his own decision, to not force her feelings on him (but he def feels them too so). And even in the beginning, refusing to call him by his title, using his name like any other person would, trying to show equality between them and just UGH. if she thought he would do it, she'd tell him not to call her by her title too (but he could never!!!!)

AS FOR THE CRAWLING BIT: 1: yes it was a little fanservice hehe like come ON imagine him like that one fucking tiktok edit of barry sloane in 6 crawling on the floor to his wife or whatever i'm A:LKJSFDL:KFJ

but also, like, he's on his knees already, man is not standing up to walk half a foot and then lay down aa;sdkfj;alksjfd but let a girl dream.

YOU ARE LITERALLY SO ADORABLE I'M KISSING YOU ON YOUR WHOLE FACE RN

i'm just AHHHH not the most confident writer ever and I know i complain about that a lot in my authors notes and whatnot but honestly just having someone shaking me by the shoulders and telling me my work wasn't straight garbage just SLKFJSLKJ

i'm gonna make a legit prison eventually. i'm keeping you all in my little play pen and we're talking about our blorbos

and AHHH AGAIN I LOVE YOUUU thank you so so so much i hope you had a wonderful day and i hope your night is going well and KNIGHT PRICE FOREVER GAHHHHH

[forthedancingandthethriving]

Whoops, all DBZA quotes

Cursor: Wait.. who else sees that light?

CPU: Walk towards it.

----

SMG4: Where are the other Avatars?

Juliano: I'll tell you where they're not. Safe.

----

Bowser Jr: Root! You left Root here!?

Franky: Well, I thought she could handle it!

Bowser Jr: Root couldn’t handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less LC while SICK!

----

Ozymandias: Say good by to your precious universe!

Franky: That's not very nice!!

Ozymandias: OF COURSE NOT!! I'M FUCKING EVIL!!

----

Random virus: You think you’re cute.

Crash: Bitch I’m adorable.

----

Mr L: You, child, too strong! Explain now!

Plurality: Database gave me a small bit of their power to help defeat you.

Me L: The fucks a Database?!

Plurality: Basically, god.

Mr L: But I'm Still Here!!

Plurality: Do you really believe in your own hype that much?!

Mr L: I AM THE HYPE!

----

Root: I'mma plant me a dumbass tree!

----

Diana: FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, I LAY DORMANT. WHO HAS DISTURBED MY-

Mario: Hello!

Diana: Oh, it's you. Explain.

----

Crash, calling to CPU, who is currently in a hole in a wall while also having a concussion: Are you okay in there?

CPU: Yeah, I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.

Crash: Oh, really?! Can I come in, too?!

CPU: I'm surrounded by idiots...

Crash: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!

----

Tulip, if she ever snapped on her parents: There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted. I want to violently vomit out of my internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest to God smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I built with your bodies with your very blood.

----

Random villain: Oh my god, you morons stole SMG3&4's kids. How? How did you steal their kids?

----

Abyssal: It turns out there's ANOTHER virus!

CPU: DO I HEAR FIVE!?

----

Mario: Ok, what's up with him?

Marcy: Don't mind him. He just got through dropping a gallon of LSD.

Mario: A gallon?

Marcy: A literal gallon. Out of a milk jug. I don't even know where he got it from.

Bob: Marcy! I need you to tell me that I can leave the hotel if I want to.

Marcy: Bob, you may leave the hotel if you w--

Bob: BITCH DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

----

Lil Coding: Feel free to pray to your God, but spoilers, I won't be listening.

----

Saiko: Don't make me come over there, I will rip your world a-FUCKING-sunder!

----

The Abyss: In mere moments, all you'll be feeling is oblivion!

----

Domain: It's either this or disappointment; go ahead.. flip that coin.

----

Abyssal: Get these guys out of here because this thing is about to kill itself!

Umbra: Can firewalls even die?!

Abyssal: IT'S ABOUT TO TRY!

----

CPU: I do hope someone picks up that phone. Cause I FUCKING CAAAALLED IT!

[can-i-use-ur-nuns-bog]

ooh it is a Long Time since i drunk blogged but it is my lovely father's birthday so am a bit peshed AND i have decided to rewatch the exorcist iii.

it is SO. FREAKING. GOOD.

i am a big damien karras fan and the actor who plays william kinderman in this film (and the character in general, having also read the book/watched the first film) reminds me of my beloved step-grandad, so maybe i am a bit biased.

BUT as a long time horror fan who has now watched nearly 700 horror films in 14 years, it is awesome. nothing will ever live up to the masterpiece of the exorcist, but doing a very decent sequel (we will not mention the abomination of the exorcist ii) is very impressive. and i just thought, given william friedkin's recent death, i would express my love of this under-appreciated film.

i adore damien karras as a character (no joke, naming my child after him), and i love that he got explored more. i also love william kinderman and i love that he got explored more. i love that they addressed the fact that, even as a very isolated person, damien had people who remembered and loved him (shout out to my boi joe dyer as well for this).

i also love a tortured character, and the idea of a fundamentally decent person having to share a body with a violent murderer, being forced to murder your best friend? TERRIFYING. PURE HORROR. the gemini describing in torturous detail how he dragged karras from a peaceful death (after he SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO SAVE REAGAN) to be a tool for evil. while his body was trapped in a straight jacket in a padded room. HORRIBLE.

and the ACTING. brad dourif is a wonderfull (pun indented for my fellow exorcist iii fans) genre actor and thoroughly underappreciated as a whole, never mind in this film, where he did the most phenomenal monolgues. but jason miller... goddammit, no one else could play damien. no one. he was gone much too soon, i don't have much to say beyond that because holy shit. 'i believe in slime and stink, and in every crawling, putrid thing, every possible corruption, you SON OF A BITCH, i believe... in you' SIR what a monologue!!!!!!!! KINDERMAAAAN. I LOVE YOU.

and, AND... the shots!!! kinderman and the gemini lit by separate beams, kinderman sat upright and still while the gemini is slumped and twitchy. the hellraiser-esque blood and gore from father morning. THAT shot of the white-robed figure after the nurse (god bless the series for including this AMAZING shot, it scared the crap outta me). kinderman moving to damien's side when he was freed of the gemini, and both being in the light together. AGH.

AND this is exactly why i hero-worshipped the series and will never get over it being cancelled: they got that the horror of the possession and the exorcism was just part of the overall film, which was also about the horror of being alone, of having to deal with something so much bigger than you without any help, of giving your life to something and then thinking maybe you were wrong... the exorcist is absolutely a classic, terrifying horror film but it is also so much MORE than what a lot of people give it credit for. and the exorcist iii really highlights that for me; yes, it's not not the scariest in terms of gore/jump scares/violence/tense atmosphere, and the exorcism sequence is corny and played out and clichéd, but as a film about people it is terrifying and brilliant and underappreciated (although at least it is generally recognised as being a better/more legitimate film than the second)

[rantsandsparkles]

Bones and All - Review (Spoiler Free)

So I’ve taken a couple days to really process what I’ve seen and now I’m ready to talk about Bones and All!

I love horror, and I love Chalament so a horror film with Chalamet? Sign me the fuck up! I was really excited to see this movie. Like couldn't wait for the release excited, so I started looking up festivals that were playing it to see if I could go to one and see it early excited. I got lucky and found one near-ish bought tix and was counting down the days to see it. And my screening had a Q&A with Luca, a bunch of the cast and the composers (pic below) ! The movie was also getting overwhelmingly positive reviews , so all of this combined with my anticipation should have set me up to really love this film right?  Right??

Unfortunately, no.... No. It did not. I did not enjoy this film. I really wish I did, and maybe I’ll like it more after a second viewing, but my initial thought was “what the fuck did I just watch”

See there’s a big difference between hearing a movie is about cannibalism and seeing a movie about cannibalism. If its unclear to anyone reading this , they are definitely straight up killing people and eating people in this movie. And there are many, many close-up shots of characters eating hunks of flesh off a recently deceased or still living body. To be fair, to sum the movie up to just being about cannibalism is incredibly reductive. More broadly its really supposed to be a love story about finding someone who loves and accepts you as you are and how that can change your life, but I'll talk more about that that later.

Putting the cannibalism of it all aside... I will say that because its a Luca Guadagnino film, predictablity the film is beautifully made. There is something so arresting about the contrast of such a beautiful film with such violent subject matter. Also because it's Luca, he can get incredible composers like Trent and Atticus to make a fantastic score on a small budget. And again, because its Luca, and he’s able to get some of the best actors in the world to work for him on a small budget. The performances in this movie are all top notch. Not a single weak link. Mark Rylance  plays a really creepy, almost endearing, older man that takes an incredible turn. Timmy is classic Chalamet in this; vulnerable, charismatic, a little awkward at times, incredibly sexy in others, emotional and ultimately utterly devastating. Taylor Russell is just stunning. The camera freaking loves her and she has this uniqueness about her, unlike any other actress I’ve seen lately. Like a quiet power, a kind of commanding meekness? I don’t know how to describe it. It was giving me strong early J-law winters bone era vibes.

Back to the romance bit. My main issue with this film is the Taylor and Timmy pairing. I just did not get romantic chemistry between these characters. The movie doesn't give you much time to see it blossom, we're just meant to believe that it happened and it's like "oh they're in love now". There was more chemistry between Timmy’s character and another character in the middle of the story than there was between these two, and I think that is one of the reasons the movie didn’t work for me as a whole. If the movie is really about finding solace and through love and connection despite your flaws, then audience really needs to buy the romance. Because cannibalism is a one hell of a flaw to overlook. But I wasn't invested in their romantic relationship at all. I would have been more, dare I say sympathetic to them eating people lol and down to ship it even if I was. But since I wasn’t invested I was left feeling like "uhhhh is no one going to arrest them??? They're dangerous!!"

I will definitely be going to see it again when its officially released in theaters, but as of now I am left scratching my head. What is everyone else is seeing that I am missing? This should have been right up my alley so I went in expecting to be fed, but I left feeling famished.

5/10

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forging Ties - Chapter 21 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Hamish had been leaning against the railings of the ship, shirtless, when someone pressed up against him from behind.

He leant his head back and was unsurprised to see a glint of golden hair.

"You're not allowed to tease me like this when we're on a crowded ship," Duran murmured into Hamish's ear.

Hamish laughed.

"Oh, I'm the one teasing here, am I?"

Duran took a step back and squeezed a hand around Hamish's bicep.

"Look at this. You can't just go flaunting this and expect me to keep my hands to myself."

"You like that, do you?"

"Hmm," Duran said as he leant against the railing next to Hamish.

"You know, I don't even know if my body is capable of doing that. If it's possible for me to put on that kind of muscle. I've never seen a Companion with much bulk to him before but we are spoiled, prissy little things."

Hamish's eyebrows quirked up.

"I wouldn't call what you went through being spoiled."

"Well, spoiled like an expensive dog gets spoiled."

"An expensive dog that you fuck?"

"Yes, an expensive dog but for fucking."

He shot Hamish a smile.

"It's complicated. You have to look at things differently when you're talking about slaves. Like yes, my master had me do some truly terrible things but you know what he never once asked me to do? The housecleaning. We had a maid for that. I have literal magical cleaning powers and he's never once asked me to use them, even when the cat threw up on his favourite quilt cover and he couldn't get the stain out. Of course I didn't offer to, either because knowing he wouldn't ask was funny to me."

"I don't get it," Hamish said.

"Why wouldn't he ask you to do it? Isn't that a fairly normal task for a Companion to do?"

Duran shrugged.

"Connor was... complicated. When he got other people involved in our sex life, things sometimes got violent and ugly but he, himself, was never an assertive man. Not even with me. That's one thing I'm grateful for because I don't think I would be the same person I am now if I'd had a more oppressive master."

"He didn't deserve you."

"Well, no but that's slavery for you."

Hamish bumped his shoulder against Duran's.

"I never know what to say about any of it. I can't imagine what it's like to go through all of that."

"I don't expect anything from you in response. I think sometimes it's nice just to know that a thought exists somewhere outside of your own mind. That someone else knows that thing too. It feels like my bedroom back at his house has a home in my mind, and if I open the door and let you take a peek in, it loses a bit of its power over me."

"Well, I'm always here if you need to talk. Military work can be haunting in its own way, and I've always found that it makes it a whole lot easier to move past things if you talk them out with a friend. Everyone thinks Simon's just a grump and to be fair he absolutely is, but that man will listen to me talk for hours or cry or whatever I need to do and he won't judge. He's been a good friend to me."

"It's important. I'm realising that more and more. I hope Skye will find some way to talk to someone about whatever upset him so much last night."

"Yeah," Hamish said.

"I wonder what that was about. It's unusual all around, with Izzy getting involved."

"Kit's a bit abrasive and impatient. I can see why they might have taken a step back if it was a sensitive matter involving someone like Skye. It must be important, though, if Izzy was willing to show herself in human form for it."

"I'm sure it was ultimately for his own good, whatever it was," Hamish said.

"I don't know much about Izzy but she and Kit are a pair and as much as Kit and I like to give one another a hard time, I do trust them."

"I'm sure it was," Duran said.

"I just hope Skye will be okay. I've only known him a few days but there's just something about him. I find him easy to be friends with, which is probably strange because from what I gather he usually has a hard time making them."

"I like him but I get along with most people. It makes sense for you, though. You're a little hypervigilant when it comes to other people. What their intentions are, what they might want from you, what they think of you. Skye is an odd one but he's simple enough in those ways. Or at least non-threatening."

Duran heaved out a sigh.

"Yes. A much needed break."

Hamish shot him a smile.

"Oh really?"

Duran's lips mirrored the smile.

"You are too, though it didn't start that way. I had to work for it. You're complex enough but I'm figuring you out."

"Nah," Hamish said, holding onto the railing and leaning back.

"I'm simple enough. Hot men and adventure, remember?"

"False advertising. You have all these deep thoughts and feelings. Very annoying."

"Sorry. Maybe we can sneak off for a few hours when we dock to let Perry off to have a little hot man adventure of our own?"

"Hmm."

Duran's eyes slid down Hamish's bare chest.

"Yes, that sounds quite nice."

[kandadiff]

Van Der Wulff : The Video

~ ~ ~ 

Since the school claimed that had more important things to deal with you and the rest of the people involved in the chaos earlier were let off with a week of detention instead of ISS. Which is why you still had to go gym and participate in swimming. 

However, since you got out of the locker room you noticed people kept looking at you as you walked through the hallway. You even stopped in the girls bathroom to check in the mirror but everything looked normal. You were about to leave the bathroom when Tori and Camila came in. Tori immediately throwing her arms around you. “Oh my god I'm so sorry!”

“What are you talking about?” You say trying to push her off. But she was like an octopus suction cupped to your arms. “Get off of me.” 

“I know how it feels Adi” Camila said confusing you even more as she approached you. She placed her hand on your shoulder “I know we haven’t always been close but, if you need a friend. I’m here to listen.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

~ ~ ~ 

My heart was beating like a bullet train. I had spent nearly $60 on pills that I  managed to slip into Becks locker but it was 12:58 and even though L said I had until 1. I was still nervous plus since I had left to find Fezco, I had just gotten back and found out I had a test in science class that I skipped by accident, as well as a missed call from my dad - and I wasn’t sure exactly how to call him back. What if L already reported to him and I was just on a wild goose chase. 

“Kay. Kay!” I felt an arm grab me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Calming when I saw it was Hobi. Since my falling out with Yoongi, all of Bangtan seemed to be avoiding me - even my best friend. “I’ve been calling you, this whole time. Are you alright?” he says grabbing my arm almost causing him to yank me full force. 

“Oh sorry, just thinking. Whats up?” 

“Professor Jefferson was looking for you.” He said and I rolled my eyes. “I heard about your face,” he gently touched my cheek, though by this time the swelling was nonexistent. “I covered for you in science but Jefferson called the nurse and found out you weren’t in there. He wants you to go see him right away.”

“I’m going to get something to eat-”

“He umm..” Hobi sighed “he already told the security guards to escort you to his office if they see you in the hallway.”

“What?”

“He announced it to last period.” He said guilty and I clenched my fists.

What a prick. The whole class? This prick destroys my clothes, slaps me and now tries to embarrass me in front of his other classes? “Thanks.” I mumbled. 

“Want me to come? He might be nicer with an audience.” he offers.  

“Oh now you have time for me? What is Yoongi not here? Did Namjoon give you permission to talk to me again?” I shot at him a mix of anger at Luther and of Hobi’s own neglect of me spilling out before I could stop it. He stays silent looking at me sadly. “No thanks, I’ll go by myself.”

I storm off, my thoughts turning towards how I exact my own revenge on that prick for brains teacher when I am almost violently grabbed, throwing me out of my thoughts. My body spins towards the perpetrator and I see Max. “I can’t talk now, babe.” I say trying to loosen his grip. “I got to go.”

“To see Edward?” 

“No” I shake my head and he gives me a look. “What? I’m not.” His green eyes dig into mine and he raises an eyebrow. 

“You haven’t heard.”

“I just got back,” I quickly explain. “What wrong?”

~ ~ ~ ~ 

You hated being the center of everyones gossip. Everyone staring and whispering about you as though you weren’t standing right there. You heard girls giggle and men comment some dirty shit but never did you think it be that bad. 

The video wasn’t even that long - a minute maybe a minute and a half. But you didn’t need to see the whole act. The video, which was on a loop, gave you just enough to understand what was going on. You instantly recognized the voices of Edward, a man who shared a tattoo of devotion with you, and Lux, the missing girl of your nightmares. It looked like a sex tape, a cheaply done one made at a party. The background of the video made it clear it was in Funhouse, you instantly recognized the chandelier and white flower wallpaper that hung proudly in Lux’s room. 

“Lets go, home” Draven said grabbing you but you slapped her hands away. 

“I want to see it!” You shout at her. Your voice doesn’t sound like you, it sounds bitter and hurt and it was cracking. You were going to cry. But you forced yourself to hold your tears back and watch the video. 

Soft moans filled the cafeteria from the TV as Edwards hand disappeared under Lux’s shirt. “What about Adi, Eddie?” she moaned, his mouth sucking on her neck. He sat up letting her take off his shirt. 

He sucked his teeth and his reply made your stomach hurt. “She’s single tonight and so am I.”

“Oh god.” You heard me say and Damien who was watching you watch the video stepped in. 

“You’re going home.” he ordered but you tried to push him away wanting to find Edward. 

“No” You said your voice cracking. You refused to speak anymore, not wanting everyone who's eyes were on you to hear your voice cracking. 

“Yes you are.” He said lowly to you “Either you come with me willingly or I carry you out of here.” You glared at him and his own blue eyes bored into yours until you let him lead you out. 

“What the fuck?” Edward asks coming into the cafeteria almost as soon as Damien packs you into his car as though it was planned like this. He paused seeing the video, Ian next to him his eyes glued to the screen. “What is this?”

“You fucked Lux?” Ian laughed “damn! Nice! you fucked the ice queen!”

“Shut the fuck up, you bloody fucking twat!” Draven spat at him. Ian rolled his eyes about to say something smart when Edward approached her. He motioned to the screen, as though to ask what was on teh screen. “You don’t recognize you? Thats your bloody ass on the screen!”

“I didn't put this here, Dre.” he said and draven scoffed. “I didn’t. I didn’t want anyone to see this, its not a big fucking deal anyway-” he paused hearing him talk about you on screen. “Fuck.” he whispered

“What? Oh let me guess, you were drunk? No, you were upset at your girlfriend and fucked another girl. Or did she seduce you?” she snapped at him and he went to speak but she interrupted him. “I stick up for you a lot, I forgive you for a lot! But- why? Who even are you? You claim your nothing like your father but, you cheat, you steal... you sell-” Edward grabbed Draven arm pulling her to him in warning. His hand squeezing her arm warning her to stop. But maybe Edward forgot who he was touching because draven easily pushed him off of her and into the wall. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Max moved towards draven and ed trying to break up the fight before it goes to far. 

I moved towards the tv trying to turn the video off. “Leave it!” Emma laughed coming towards me. I pushed past her attempting to turn the TV off or find out where the video was coming from when I saw a note. A small pink post-it note on the back of the TV. I grabbed it and unplugged the TV. I palmed the note in my pocket and went to grab Draven who looked like her and Edward were about to get into a physical fight. 

“We’re going home.”

“Miss Snow, Miss Patterson~” It was Luther. he seemed to be rushing in, as though he was running to the cafeteria, a flood of teachers behind him in all a similar manner. “You can’t just leave.” Ignoring him I grabbed an angry draven and headed quickly to my car. 

I pushed her in the car ignoring her cursing at Edward the whole way there and took out the note. ‘SORRY FOR THE VID BUT SOMEONE DIDN’T LISTEN TO ME SO I HAD TO HAVE SOME FUN XOXO L’ 

someone? as in more then one? were you getting these texts too? Draven slammed the car door shut and looked at the note in my hand. 

“Whats that?” I handed it to her. Watching her face closely as she read it, her eyes widening when she read the last letter. “Where'd you get this?”

“Are you getting the texts too?” 

~

[notyour-valentine]

The Boy in the Window 2~ Tommy Shelby x Reader (Series)

Chapter Summary: The things parents do, if they think their children are being threatened... 

Notes: I am so grateful for the positive response the Prologue and Part 1 got, and I hope you like the continuation. I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other. 

Here, you can find my [Masterlist] and the [Series Masterlist]

Warning: Physical violence, panic attack, fear of death. Canon conforming mention and description of violence. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Expect spoilers for Peaky Blinders Season 1-4.

Wordcount: 3334

Part 2

[Previously]

Emma. 

That was all she could think about. Her first thought, possibly her last - the only thought that had ever mattered and never more than now.

Emma. Emma. Emma. 

She stumbled back, her arms outstretched as if they could somehow shield her child from the gun in his hand. As if her desperate wish alone was enough to stop a bullet, to stop him. 

And yet (Y/N) hadn’t even made it two steps before he leapt forward, grabbing her by the back of the neck. His hand dug into her hair, her skin and flesh. 

She gasped in pain as he yanked her away, like one would do with an unruly dog. The force of his grip made it impossible for her to look up as he dragged her away from the sofa. 

"Stay the fuck away from my-"

With his voice, his whole body froze, giving her just enough room to glance up from the position he had forced her into. 

From blind rage, his expression had changed to confusion, his eyes narrowing in on the children lying together on the pillows. First, they were focussed Charlie, then they closed in on her daughter. 

No!

Her hands shot up, clawing at his grip, nails digging into his flesh.

The pain made him wince, but his grip only ever tightened. His nails weren't nearly as long as hers, and yet she could still feel them cut into her.

But instead of pushing her down, he dragged her up, until her body crashed into his. 

When he moved forward, she couldn't have struggled even if she had wanted to. Her feet dragged behind her on the floor helplessly, but the iron force still digging into the back of her neck kept her upright as he pulled her away from her daughter. 

“N-no!”, (Y/N) tried to argue, but he didn’t even hesitate as he opened one of the dark green doors and shoved her through.

In the absence of his grip, she stumbled and lost her balance, crashing to the ground. 

Her hands managed to break her fall, but she didn’t even feel the pain as she turned, scrambling on her back to get away from him. 

Thomas Shelby was towering over her, still wearing the coat and hat to complete the silhouette every decent person in Birmingham knew to fear. 

The gun was still in his hand, no longer pointed, but still very much sharp. 

“Who are you?”, he demanded to know. He wasn’t screaming, but he wouldn’t have been more horrifying if he had - instead his voice had become a low snarl, like the rumbling the earth would give before tearing open and swallowing her whole. 

Only in the frightening silence, did reality fully hit her, his frame, the gun, the marks she had made on his hand, from which crimson beads dripped down his fingers.  

Oh God!

“What are you doing in my house?”

A fleeting gasp escaped her lips as she continued to scramble back, one hand outstretched as if they could hold at bay whichever hell he chose to rain down on her.

“Please-”, she whimpered, her heart thundering so violently in her chest she thought it might rip through her skin and end her then and there. Before he had a chance to. 

He could kill her, if he wanted to. She had broken into his house- into Thomas Shelby’s house and she had attacked him, had hurt him, had drawn his blood. 

People had been blinded for less. 

People had vanished for less. 

Her breath hitched again, as she stared at the green door behind him, the only thing that separated them from the sleeping children. 

The gun would wake them and Emma would find her- 

"Oh God please no!”

Her own voice, which had never been a particularly strong ally in moments of confrontation, deserted her once more and a pitiful sob escaped her lips. 

“Please don’t kill me, Mr. Shelby, Emma’s got no one else. If I’m gone she’ll be all on her own- oh!”

(Y/N)’s words got stuck in her throat as tears burst from her eyes. The thoughts of being forced to leave her little girl behind, all alone, was too much for her and her head began to spin.

And the images her mind fed her, of Emma finding her either dead or dying was enough to pull the floor out from under her. She hadn’t been old enough to know her father except from the stories (Y/N) told her, bringing life to the picture on the wall, but she was old enough to remember her, and the sight of her body would never leave her little mind…if she was even allowed to remember it, that was. 

Oh God….

It was as if someone had slipped a noose over her torso and pulled ever tighter so that even trying to breathe caused her physical pain. No oxygen managed to reach her lungs, no matter how hard she tried. 

Her vision began to blur, as burning hot tears ran down her cheeks, so she had no warning before strong hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her to a stand. 

Her first instinct was to push against him, tugging at his arms to free herself, trying desperately to get away from him. 

But it was no longer her life that mattered, no longer her own safety that was her concern. She had already forfeited any right to that as soon as she drew blood. Only Emma mattered now. 

And so (Y/N) forced her hands to still, as desperate, rambling pleas spilled from her lips. 

“Please don’t hurt her, please, oh God please!”, she sobbed. 

Her legs gave way and she would have fallen again, if his hands hadn’t tightened around her arms. 

They only loosened their grip once they had pushed her down into something soft. His hands were still firm, but they were no longer forceful, and had lost the intention to cause her pain. 

The tears that streamed down her cheeks like a waterfall made it impossible for her to see more than mere shapes and blurs. 

All the while, his hands were still clasping her shoulders tightly, when his thumbs began to stroke up and down, up and down. 

“No one’s killing anyone.”, he said, “Just breathe, eh?”

Up and down his thumbs stroked. Up and down. Up and down. 

“Please…”, she whimpered. 

“No one’s killing anyone, you have my word.”, he said once more, applying slightly more pressure. Up and down. Up and down.

It was a strange rhythm but one she could try to match her frantic breathing to. They were still broken apart by sobs and the occasional gasp or hitch, but slowly the veil, woven of tears and terror, lifted, allowing her to see him. 

Although (Y/N) didn’t know if perhaps that might be worse. 

He waited until her frantic sobs had turned into shaky sniffles before attempting to talk to her again.

“No one’s getting killed, alright?”, he insisted, leaning closer in the expectation of a reaction.

All she could muster was a faint gasp but Thomas Shelby deemed it good enough and nodded, getting up from the sofa he had pushed her into. 

But that didn’t mean he suddenly grew soft. 

“How did you get in here?”, he demanded to know, asking from a safe distance.

“It was open - “, (Y/N) whimpered. 

“The back door- I don’t know. I think that’s how Charlie got out. It was open when we went back.”

The tears continued to stream down her cheeks, her chin, her neck. She even felt them trickle down her chest. 

“If I had known how to reach you or anyone, I never would have come in here- I never would have dared, Mr. Shelby. I don’t want any trouble. Please.”

Another sob broke froth from her already aching chest.

“But I couldn’t leave him alone, could I? He’s only little and-and was so frightened. He wouldn’t let go of my dress.”

The memory came suddenly, crashing over her like a wave, and yet she could cling to it. 

If she could convince him, could make him understand that she didn't have any bad intentions, then maybe, just maybe, she had a chance.

“He wouldn’t let go, or of my hand or anything. He wouldn’t let go and it wouldn’t have been right to leave him alone. It wouldn’t have been right, Mr. Shelby - not without anyone to watch him!”

Her rambles were only stopped by a pitiful sniffle. 

“What do you mean without anyone to watch him? I told-”

His voice cracked like a whip, making her cower as if he had struck her. 

“I don’t know. He was all alone. Once I knew where he came from, we went looking but no one was there so I thought we’d wait until someone came back-”

Her chest rose and fell with quaking breaths.

Then, a strange look washed over his face, as his eyes, still ripped wide open, turned away from her. She could sense the wheels turning in his head as he began to pace. And that couldn’t be good. 

“Please, Mr. Shelby- I-I I am just a small person. I just want to take my daughter and leave. Please, let us leave. We’ll go- we’ll go and leave Birmingham and never come back. You won’t ever have to see or think about us ever again. We’ll be gone and…and…”

Another sob tore from her chest. 

“I don’t-”

“Want any trouble?”

His voice was almost soft. 

(Y/N) nodded faintly, not daring to meet his eyes. 

The man sighed deeply, and then he reached into his coat pocket. 

Oh God, she thought. This is it. 

Forcing her eyes shut, she knew she ought to pray, but she couldn’t. 

The only thing she could think of was Emma- darling Emma, and cling to the foolish hope that she might not have to see what he would do to her. 

“Take it.”

It wasn’t an order, but a demand all the same. 

When she finally dared to open her eyes, she saw his hand outstretched. But it did not hold a gun, or a knife or even a razor, but instead a pristine white handkerchief, embroidered at the side with his initials. 

Her eyes snapped up to him, but he only nodded. 

(Y/N)’s own hands trembled as she took it, bringing it up to dab under her eyes. 

It didn’t do much good. The tears just kept coming. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you, eh?”, he said, walking around to the desk on the other side of the room. 

He picked up a chair and sat it down in front of the sofa, pulling up the expensive fabric of his trousers at the knee before he sat down. 

“Now,”, Tommy Shelby said, “tell me what happened. In order and without -”

He waved up and down in reference to her hysterics. 

So (Y/N) tried her best, telling him everything- from thinking it was an imaginary friend, to seeing him in the kitchen, to finding out who he was after lunch and waiting for someone to return. 

She didn’t mention the part where she thought the boy had been kidnapped, nor when she had thought he had been abandoned and left to a cruel fate by his famously cruel father, who had but moments ago pointed a gun at her.

And then given her his handkerchief. 

“So I put them to sleep and waited…”, she finished with a sniffle. 

Somewhere along her report he had dropped his head, but she knew better than to assume it meant she was allowed to stop. 

Even now she only stared at him, breathing heavily as if she had just run a race. Her body ached as if she had. At first, the fear had dulled the pain, but now she felt it in her knees, on the palm of her hands, at the back of her neck and in her chest, agony spreading with every breath. 

Then he shook his head and got up, pacing once more.

His hands reached up and rubbed the sides of his head, as if trying to ward of a headache of his own.

(Y/N) only watched him, frozen in her seat like a girl called to the headmaster’s office. 

Only she was in danger of more than a smacking from this man.

Up and down he paced, up and down. 

When his gaze fell on her again, it almost seemed like an accident, as if he had forgotten she was there. 

Then he tilted his head before slowly walking towards her.

“I know you.”, he realised, pointing at her. “I know you, don’t I?”

She nodded faintly, wishing with all her heart that she could have denied it. 

With a scoff he shook his head. 

“You’re Edith (L/N), aren’t you?”

Darling Edith. 

She would have known what to do, how to react, what to say…she always had. 

“Edith’s my older sister.”, she whispered. Or was.

The flu had taken her, fast and unyielding. It hadn’t even given her the time to say goodbye to her braver, more beautiful sister. 

“Then you’re…you’re…”

“(Y/N).”, she helped him. “But it’s Hale now. Not (L/N)”

Her name, her maiden name ghosted over his lips in a whisper that made her skin crawl. 

Then he sighed deeply. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you, (Y/N).”, he finally said, his voice so soft it set her teeth on edge. “You can go.”

“I-I can?”

He nodded. 

"Take your daughter and go home. There’ll be no trouble.”

A faint whimper escaped her lips, and then she ran for the green doors and into the living room, but once she saw the two of them, still sleeping soundly in entire oblivion to what had occured, she forced herself to a stand, clasping a hand over her mouth as she gathered herself.

I mustn’t wake the children!

They shouldn't have to see this, not any of this. It would only frighten them.

Carefully she pulled the blanket away, detangling it from Emma’s limbs and then her limbs from Charlie’s, before draping the blanket over him again. 

She didn't take the time to tuck him in- she only wanted to get away. 

Emma's limp body was heavy in her arms, but she could have weighed a ton more and she still would have carried her. 

She did not dare turn around, especially not as she felt his gaze on her back as she crossed the few steps to her own kitchen door, thanking God in heaven that Emma didn’t wake. 

Once inside, she locked her doors and drew all the curtains before carrying Emma upstairs. Only when her daughter was secure in her bed, (Y/N) fell to her knees in front of it, shaking like a leaf - the image of the gun and the man that held it burned into her, leaving scathing marks on her mind and body alike.  

~

Exhaustion had claimed her more than sleep had done, still on the floor in front of her daughter’s bed, an arm around her middle.

It was the pain in her back that finally woke her, revenge for the uncomfortable position she had put it through in the last hours. 

That alone made last night’s occurrences impossible to forget. 

When she stirred, (Y/N) felt weary, body and soul, and yet she dragged herself into her own bedroom.

She didn’t bother going down to heat the water before she splashed it against her face. 

It wiped the stains of her tears away, but not the redness in her eyes, nor the dark circles beneath them. The marks on her knees, her palms and the back of her neck also didn’t vanish - all a lingering reminder that it had not been a nightmare, but cruel, harsh reality. 

Soon, with the light falling into her bedroom, Emma woke as giddy and as excited as the morning. She soon went off to play, chatting to her toys as of they were real, while (Y/N) stumbled down to make her some breakfast, her whole body throbbing with something beyond physical pain. 

As she was laying the table, she noticed a shadow outside the door. 

Cautiously she opened it. 

There was the basket she had used to carry the food over and inside not only Emma’s but her own folded winter coat, and the one she had lent to Charlie.

Right on top was an envelope. 

It wasn’t addressed, but it didn’t have to be. 

(Y/N) stared at it for a while before daring to open it, as if the hand that had sealed it could escape the paper enclosure and threaten them once more. 

But in the end, she knew waiting wouldn't make it better. 

It was in a neat, if somehow small handwriting, with dominant first letters.

(Y/N), 

I want to thank you for taking care of my son. 

You don’t have to worry about trouble from me, or anyone else in my organisation. In the letter you will find compensation for your efforts. 

Thomas Shelby

His signature was far more extravagant than his words had been, but between the letter and the envelope, she pulled forth a ten pound note. 

A gasp escaped her lips. That was more than she made in the last two months work. 

She didn’t want to accept money like that, not from him, earned by whichever dark and grim means it had been, but at the same time- that was almost half a year’s worth of groceries-

“Mummy, Mummy, come see!”, Emma cried out. 

At once, she dropped both the letter and money and ran upstairs, wondering what next horror would await her there. 

Instead, Emma was braced on the windowsill, a wide smile on her lips as she waved. 

On the other side of the courtyard, she could see a smile just as wide, which only ever grew when she appeared. 

Charlie began to wave with even more eagerness when she came into view.

Then, she saw him turn his head to answer.

“Come along, Emma!”, she swiftly said, pulling her away before the taller figure had a chance to appear in the window. 

“Breakfast’s ready.”

She had gotten her fed and was brushing out her hair in her bedroom upstairs, when she heard the loud banging on the back door, as if someone wanted to tear it down by sheer force of hand. 

“You stay here!”, she ordered at once. “Emma, I’m serious. You stay here!”

“Why, Mu-”

Her look silenced her and she nodded, her hands reaching for Mrs. Tatters.  

The pounding only grew as she hurried down the steps.

She didn’t have to ask who was standing on the other side of the door. 

Her heart skipped a beat as she considered her options. 

She could grab Emma and make a run for it but how far would she get in this city of his? 

She could reach into the knife drawer, and then what? Last night had shown she was no match for him, not even close, but even if by some miracle, she could protect herself and Emma from him, she'd never make it out of Small Heath alive. 

The pounding made her flinch once more, reminding her that she had no option, none but to pray and open the door. 

As soon as she turned the lock, she jumped back as if she had burned herself, leaving it to him to open the door. 

“Morning!”, Charlie chimed brightly, waving at her the same way he had done from the window earlier. 

“Can you take him?”, Mr. Shelby demanded.

Her eyes widening, unable to comprehend the meaning of his words.

“There’s an emergency. I need to go and I need him to be safe.”, he insisted, hissing the words through clenched teeth.

There was a shine in his eyes, which she couldn’t place, lost somewhere between genius and madness.

“What?”

When he realised, he wouldn't get an answer, he decided to forfeit any need for it.

Instead, he just dropped Charlie into her arms and set down a bag he had carried in the other.

“I’ll pay you whatever you ask, just take him and keep him here until I come to fetch him.", he shouted, already backing away. 

“But Mr. Shelby-”

The door to the Watery Lane house fell shut before she even had a chance to argue, leaving her standing in the no man's land of their two homes, Charlie in her arms.

“Dad says I can stay!”, his son announced with a tone of pure delight and triumph, wrapping his arms around her neck and leaning his head against her shoulder.

She stared at the firmly shut door for several seconds, before the realisation settled that he was, in fact, not coming back. 

“I suppose so.”, she whispered.

~

For what other option remained?

End of Part 2

[Here you can find: Part 3]

Thank you for reading! I’d be very grateful for feedback of any kind! If you are interested in more, here is my [Masterlist]

Taglist: 

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads

TBITW Taglist:

@kaitebugg03 @esistmon  @chlorrox   @theshelbyslimited  @budugu  @woofgocows @orkwardx0 @100percentamess @kabbuu

[ryuuaka713]

Reaction to That SKK DEAD APPLE MANGA SCENE

Ok, I know the whole SKK DEAD APPLE MANGA PANEL is already old news since it came out like what? Last year in October? But let me just put my thoughts in here because I haven’t got the time to say anything and how much that panel really means to me (College already drains the life out of me so please excuse for my late ramblings ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚).

           But anyway, when I first heard the news about the said manga panel, it is pretty hard to believe that it actually happened. I mean there is no description of their facial expressions when Dazai nullifies Chuuya and how they looked at each other. So, it is only fair that I expected the manga not to reveal their faces, almost similar to the one we have in the DEAD APPLE movie. But even in that movie, I admit, I am satisfied of how the emotions are delivered in the scene without the need for close-ups. That being said, I have to bring up one of my very old “analyses” for the DEAD APPLE scene where I said:

In this scene, where everything is silent and their faces “unseen”, our focus goes to their exchanges. Both Mamoru and Taniyama use their “bedroom voices”, and I think it is appropriate considering that their dialogue contains a deeper meaning in regards of their relationship. In other words, as mentioned before, it may seem like another day of bantering, but with their tone, there is something sincere and intimate in what they are saying. Also, the playfulness in Dazai’s comment and Chuuya’s response hits different compared to their other moments of constant yelling. You really don’t need the close up of their faces in order to see that they are at peace in each other’s company.

This—I wholeheartedly hold unto this! I am satisfied with how both VA’s did their tone in the scene and I’m fine without the facial expression.

           In case your wondering how the LN version of DEAD APPLE handle the nullification scene, it is almost similar to the movie except that there is more description on their voices:

“…Did you use Corruption because you believed in me? You’re gonna make me cry…,” came a calm voice. It was the voice of a man who was supposed to be dead.

Without even showing a hint of surprise, Chuuya responded, “Yeah, I trusted you were too damn crafty and far too stubborn to die.”

The corruption in Chuuya’s body had already disappeared. Dazai had nullified it. He placed a hand on Chuuya’s cheek where it has been punched and smirked slightly. “So this is how you wake Snow White? Kinda violent, don’t you think?”

“Hey, you’re the one who hid that antidote in yer mouth knowin’ you were gonna get punched in the face ,” griped Chuuya, making his disgust no secret.

(These are based on the official English translation).

In short, what Mamoru and Taniyama did in the movie, it is officially the standardize tonality of the scene, and all what the light novel did is emphasize their voices without saying how they look at each other. Needless to say, even though it can be frustrating because we only want to see one glance of their faces, it is a very big Soukoku moment for us, and we could assure ourselves that there is a palpable fondness in their expressions when they face each other.

           And now we have the manga itself!

The panels on the right followed the exact same protocol in both LN and Movie versions. But what really stands out for the manga, of course, is the close up of their faces—not just in one panel but in two, which indicates the exchange of glances. In other words, we have the privilege to see their reactions in two different perspectives! And what a sight it is!

           Gunzi-sensei took long their time and effort in focusing the details of Dazai and Chuuya’s eyes! After all, it is always the eyes that shows the most expression in the character in the BSD world. Not to mention, this is the shot when Dazai made that Snow White comment and Chuuya retaliated. In what is a very playful (somehow flirtatious) and intimate moment, we see them in this expression where both of their eyes just scream “love” (be it of friendship, closest comrades, or lovers). Even though, they are borderline bickering, we know and we can see clearly that this is not the time they are puling each other’s hairs. And it is showing what Soukoku has in-store of their relationship, which is something the public (literally and figuratively speaking) has never seen. It literally lives up to my expectations!

           Chuuya looks down at Dazai with his usual smirk, but it is his eyes and furrowed brows that shows how much he has to struggle his way internally and externally to save his partner. His face is all scratched-up—a fitting view for a prince who had fought a dragon. And when he looks down at him, it shows how his efforts are not wasted. In a way, he is fulfilling his purpose, to which he is then rewarded with a gentle touch from Dazai’s palm. It is satisfying—that’s why he doesn’t swipe his hand away from his face. After all, it is a familiar touch, and it just confirms that Dazai is alive, which means Chuuya is alive as well.

           And Dazai! First of all, I love @nataliaphantomhivesblog​ comment of this panel:

Now Dazai is a very intuitive character, he probably wasn’t that anxious about Chuuya not going through with the plan, but I personally believe that his heart lights up every time he realizes that Chuuya does trust him, when he gets that reassurance that maybe… just maybe Chuuya doesn’t actually hate him and want him dead.

Absolutely! As we’ve said so many times, Chuuya has always been Dazai’s constant companion, and it all started when these two were just boys. Dazai asked Chuuya if he trusted him, Chuuya wants to know why (not saying that he doubted him), and Dazai responds that he decides to continue living. If that’s the case, then the goal for Soukoku is to fight back and continue living—that’s why they are still alive at that point. But it takes real guts place your trust and your life on the hands of the man who desires to die, who is supposed to be dead, and who once disappeared for four years—this is the beauty in what Dazai is seeing. Chuuya may have some conflicted feelings with Dazai, but he will always trust him. That is because he knows Dazai, too much—he knows his motives. Ever since they were fifteen, Chuuya concluded that “the suicidal bastard wants to live”, and it stuck unto him! That’s why Chuuya knew that Dazai is “too stubborn to die”.

           With that being said, that smile on Dazai’s face and those eyes when he looks up at his partner, not only is it a reassurance but also a remembrance—Chuuya directly tells/reminds him why he saved him—because he is “too stubborn to die”, or rather, because he knew Dazai wants to live. And it is possible that this also reminds Dazai of the many times Chuuya fulfilled his role as his proper partner, even before Chuuya joined the PM. So, it only makes sense why Dazai looks at him with the most loving eyes. After all, it is a very beautiful scene.

[marchtothefuckingsea]

Cold - Bucky Barnes

basically Hypothermia but different I just got another idea for it okay 

My Masterlist. 

hurt/comfort, x gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.3k Warnings: symptoms of hypothermia(?), canon violence (if any). Not proofread.

Prompted by: “ I just asked if you were cold, I didn't ask for your whole life story.” (I can’t for the life of me remember where I got this prompt, sorry!)

"How much further is the safehouse?" I asked through chattering teeth.

"Two miles."

"Two miles? Through this?"

"Stop whining." Bucky growled, stalking off through the mounds of snow.

"We wouldn't be in this situation if you didn't have to be all big macho man and alert the entire fucking building of our presence." I accused him, plodding through the snow behind him.

"Blame it on me, why don't you."

"Yeah, I am blaming it on you. If you had just laid low like I fucking said to-"

"And have to wait god knows how long for them to leave so we could get out of there?" He argued, stopping and turning back to glare at me.

"I was supposed to be in charge of the stealth here, not you." I stopped, shivering.

"And look how well that went." He shot back.

"It would have went just fine if you didn't fuck it up." I muttered, pulling my mask back up over my face to hide the chattering of my teeth and trudging past him. I could feel his glare at my back as I continued in the direction of the safehouse. I tucked my gloved hands under my arms, another shiver running through me. I heard the crunching of snow beneath Bucky's feet as he followed behind me.

"Hey." He called sharply. I ignored him. "Hey!"

"What?" I hissed, glaring at him.

"Wrong way, dumbass." He jerked his head in the opposite direction. I blinked, following him without complaint. I was too cold to come up with a sharp retort. 

It wasn't long before I began to fall behind, struggling to lift my stiff feet through the layers of snow. Bucky only glanced back once, huffing in annoyance and continuing at his own pace. The wind began to pick up, and he finally slowed before I lost sight of him. The snow whipped across the slivers of my exposed skin, the small ice crystals biting into my numb skin painfully. I was shivering violently by now, my teeth chattering uncontrollably as I hugged my arms tighter around myself.

"Cold?" Bucky asked me sarcastically.

"I-I'm not a f-fuckin ssuper soldier like you." I muttered with as much hostility as I could manage, my words slurring together. "'course I 'm."

"Calm down. I just asked if you're cold, I didn't ask for your whole life story."

"Fuck you." I mumbled, stopping to check the feeling I had in my limbs. The center of my body felt warm enough, but it was slightly concerning that I couldn't feel my limbs. I briefly thought about mentioning this fact to him–since he was the winter soldier and all-but ultimately decided against it.

I fell far behind him once again, almost losing sight of him a couple of times. It became increasingly difficult for me to simply put one foot in front of the other. Realizing I had lost sight of Bucky again, I called out to him, but I barely managed to rasp out his name.

"Buck-" I attempted to call him again, managing to almost shout it this time, before breaking off in a fit of coughs. Icy daggers stabbed into my lungs with every breath. I could feel the sharpness of the sensation, but not the cold. I felt, quite literally, warm and fuzzy inside.

I suddenly stumbled, falling forward into the snow. I turned onto my side with a groan. I struggled several times to free myself from the mound of snow, each attempt draining more of my energy. I flopped back onto the cold, curling onto my side with a sigh. Unable to find the energy to struggle to my feet, I tucked my chin to my chest and wrapped my numb arms around myself in a comforting gesture of defeat. With another small sigh, my eyes fluttered shut. Something told me to keep my eyes open. No, someone.

"Wake up." Bucky's voice broke through the haziness of my thoughts as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I groaned in protest.

"Wake up." He repeated, a note of urgency creeping into his voice. It made me open my eyes, the tone sounding foreign to him. When I did, his face was inches from mine, and his icy eyes were sharp with concern. I struggled to push myself up onto my elbows, but only succeeded in digging myself deeper into the mound of snow. Bucky was quick to help me sit up, leaning my back against a tree. He tugged one of his gloves off, and pressed his fingers firmly to my neck as my head slumped to the side, frowning and pressing harder against my pulse point when he couldn't feel anything.

He took his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders, despite my mumbled protests. Quickly slipping his glove back on and, not giving me a chance to protest, he slipped his arms underneath me. My eyes shot open in alarm and I struggled against him briefly.

"We're almost there, sweetheart." He reassured me, his voice panicky. His whole demeanor towards me had flipped like a light switch.

I didn't have the energy to complain, and so I found myself relaxing against him. His body radiated much more heat than a normal person, even through his winter clothes. I felt the rumbling of his voice through his chest as I drifted off, unable to make out what he was saying so urgently.

I stretched out my stiff limbs, before tucking them back against my torso. I shivered, still freezing despite the heat I felt radiating from behind, and in front of me. I pressed myself closer to the warmth behind me with a small sigh. The arm around my waist tightened around me protectively.

Suddenly realizing the situation, I bolted up from the pile of blankets, whipping around to see a half-asleep and half-naked Bucky. I wasn't half-naked, but my top half was covered by his shirt. Despite the heat of the fire across the room, I still shivered as my skin was exposed to the cooler air of the room.

"What happened?" I asked, intending for my voice to come out more sharp than it did. Instead, I was cut off by a cough, my throat sore and dry. Bucky immediately reached for a glass of water on the nightstand. It was warm when I took it into my hand. I took it without complaint, uttering a quiet, "Thank you," once I had downed half of the glass.

He just watched me for a moment, with a strange look on his face that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. "What?" I asked him, suddenly defensive at the way he seemed to be analyzing, no, judging me.

"Nothing." He responded, his eyes sweeping over my form. "How do you feel?"

"I don't know. Bad, I guess." I answered, unsure.

I shivered again involuntarily, folding into myself. He tentatively reached for me, giving me the chance to move away or refuse. I didn't. I leaned into his touch gratefully as he pulled me back onto the bed, tucking me into his side. I sighed contentedly.

"What did I do?" I asked him tiredly. It was a genuine question; right now, in this moment, I couldn't remember why we had always bickered and argued.

"You almost died." He answered roughly.

"No, that's not what I meant." I heard him sigh– and felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest – wrapping his arm around me.

He hummed in thought before answering. "I've always cared." He admitted quietly, hesitantly tucking his chin into the crook of my neck. The gesture felt like a blanket of safety and comfort.

"Just didn't want to admit it." He mumbled. "Now sleep."

I laid there quietly, the slow, even sound of his breathing lulling me to sleep in his arms.

[robinofgothamcity]

me estoy enamorando de ti

characters: edward nashton / the ridder

pronouns used: she/her

note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'd really love to hear back from my AEW girlies on which wrestlers you'd like me to write for !! :) this had no reason to be as long as it did but minus whale this could have a part two if any of you would be interested in it

"gotham just sucks," you told your friend over the phone as you chewed down on your food, "it'd be nice to just be able to walk in the city at night and not feel like you're gonna get stabbed, shot, or hit. you know there's a rumor going around that there's people stabbing women at our universities parking lot at night? I'd like to feel safe walking at my own damn school ya know!"

edward sat in silence but taking in the conversation you were having. you were drinking a coffee and looking down at your books. from what edward could tell you were somewhere in the Communication department. you had several books on the subject. Communication in Health. how to communicate in non-violent ways, the book titles went on.

"and it's not like we can move out of the city. the rent is far too high anywhere else! have you seen what the prices are for even a studio apartment in Metropolis? it's like what a three bedroom would cost you here. Central City is okay but still more than Gotham," you continued, "but I'll talk to you later. I gotta study considering Graduation is in a few days and need to order another coffee while i'm at it."

you waved down the waitress, asking for another coffee and a dessert. you weren't too picky on what you got served; however, you saw her talking to the man on the barstool and asked him what he had. you tended to come to this diner a lot and although you never knew his name, you knew he ordered a pumpkin pie every time he was here.

you moved your things to the bar top, a few seats down from the man and gave him a small smile. he returned an awkward wave and looked back down to his pie. you thanked the waitress for the refill and pie before going back to your work. you were staring at your laptop screen, biting down on your gel nails in thought.

from what edward heard, you were in college so still on the younger side but you were about to graduate so not that young. you rubbed your eyes as they tingled in slight pain. you had been staring at the screen for too long he assumed. you gave your hair a run through with your fingers and drank some of your coffee before staring around the diner in procrastination.

"hey, i'm ( your name )," you turned to him. Edward looked up, not knowing if you were speaking to him or not. you nodded and smiled, "I'm edward," he replied quietly, tapping his pencil nervously, "you in college too? I always see you in here doing work so I can imagine you're in it like me."

edward shook his head, "no, I've been out for a long time now. I can imagine I was graduated when you entered," he replied. you waved him off, "you don't look like you're much older than I am! what do you do? i'm a Communication major and yes I've heard everything under the sun about it so I don't need the lecture," you said. "oh, I'm a forensic accountant," you nodded, "that's cool. so do you see dead bodies and stuff?" before edward could reply, the tv began to run last nights news segment on The Riddlers newest stream. you looked up to the tv, rolling your eyes a bit tiredly.

"I mean, I understand why he's doing it because I'm just as sick at Gotham as he is but I don't think I could ever kill someone you know?" you murmured off handedly. edward didn't mutter a word wondering where you were going with this, "it's whatever, right? guess Gotham has to gonna learn some how," you added on before looking back at edward, "plus, the whole Bruce Wayne thing is true to some extent like it's sad he lost his family but he's rich, he's not suffering like us mere mortals"

"did you grow up in an orphanage too?" edward finally asked. you shook your head no, "my mom was a single parent. she had to support four of us on her own and the pay wasn't great. her boss constantly stole checks from all of their employee's so sometimes we had to scrape from the barrel to get food. it wasn't until we were all old enough to have jobs to actually live decently."

edward nodded sympathetically, "I gotta go, I have class in the morning and I won't want to wake up if I stay any later," you gave edward one final smile before collecting your things and leaving.

+

you noticed through Twitter that The Riddler was going to go live soon. you had no idea that so many people were anticipating it this much. you heard stories from your friends who had watched them before about how cruel they could get. live execution wasn't uncommon and you didn't know how'd you feel if you witnessed a Gotham styled liveleak video happen in real time.

you gulped, biting the bullet and going to the website that had been shared to watch the stream from. you quickly made a username, not thinking much of what to call yourself before getting the question mark on your screen. you had no idea if this was going to bug your phone but you needed to see what the hype was about. you just hoped that you weren't about to witness a murder for your first time.

grabbing the coffee you were drinking, the stream popped up and a live close up of The Riddler started it off. you looked at your phone intensely as he went on and on about how he was going to start going for filthy employers who snaked their employees of their hard earned money. you gripped the mug as your eyes widened.

"no fucking way," you whispered seeing your mothers old boss sitting on a broken chair crying and screaming. you instantly grabbed your ipad and called your sister through video, "are you watching The Riddlers stream?" you screamed into the phone, "no, what the hell? why would I be?" she asked back. "he's going after Gotham factory ceo's now and you'll never guess who he has hostage!" you exclaimed shoving your phone to the camera.

your sisters eyes widened, not believing it either. she screamed for your mom who was in your homes kitchen and showed her what you were showing them, "is that Sanchez?" she asked hysterically screaming, "guess the bastard is getting what he needs," you murmured. your mom shook her head in disbelief, "he was a piece of crap but I don't think he needs to die from it," you gave her a look, "he made our life hell! do you remember the amount of times we had to sit in the cold with no electricity because you couldn't pay the bill when he stole that weeks check? shit, one less piece of shit in Gotham, am I right?"

your sister remained silent as your mom prayed silently before walking away. the two of you watched as your moms old boss cried out two wrong answers as The Riddler sang about how he had one more chance to get his riddle right before he got executed.

"maybe this can be a lesson to those who make innocent families suffer," The Riddler yelled into the camera, "I hope you have the day you deserve," he whispered into the other mans ear before grabbing his detonator remote and teasing the boss with it. you looked at your sister who gave you a look of acknowledgement. you put your phone face down on the table as a blast went off. you knew what he had done but you were in no mood to see it happen.

once you felt like it was safe to watch again, you noticed the comments going crazy. you had waved to your sister goodbye and fully immersing yourself into the stream again. your fingers hovered over the comment section, not knowing if you wanted to leave a comment or not.

"nice job going after this scum Riddler <3. this was a relief for many."

you quickly pressed send before leaving the chat and exiting the stream. you grabbed your bag and packed your school things before going to the diner to get dinner and work on some homework. the diner was practically empty with waitresses and the regulars sitting in their usual seats.

"an american with a coke, thanks Brandy," you told her as she put the order on the white paper and stuck it on a string so the cooks could see. you put your books on the bar top and watched the news going into a frenzy over The Riddlers latest stream. you knew they were going to exaggerate it like crazy, "that crazy bastard. since when was vigilantism suddenly become okay?" Brandy asked rhetorically. you shrugged, "it became okay when fuckers like that decided to punish innocent families into poverty for no reason."

you bit down on your burger and popped your headphones in as you got to working on your school assignments. you were tapping your tablet pen in concentration when you heard the bell of the door ring. you looked up to see it was edward walking in. you waved at him excitedly as he took a seat one over from yours.

"you're here later than usual, did you catch the news tonight?" you asked. edward knew to play it dumb and shook his head no, "you know how I was telling you about my moms dumb boss? he got executed tonight by The Riddler, isn't that ironic?" you exclaimed. brandy scoffed at the way you were explaining everything excitedly, "she thinks The Riddler is insane but come on, it's like he had it coming!"

"that is ironic. at least he won't put another family through that again," edward murmured. you nodded, taking a sip of your soda, "working on your accounting again?" you asked peering over to see the plethora of numbers on the sheets. he nodded, "I wish I was smart in math but I barely passed my gen ed math course my freshman year," you said, "the world just granted me great writing skills I guess."

"writing is just as great as math. it takes a lot for someone to write something interesting and I bet you're great at it," he confessed. you smiled fondly, "say edward, want to go out for brunch tomorrow? you can pick me up from my dorm around 11:00," you finally asked him.

edward was completely taken back. he had NEVER gotten asked out on a date before and it was never from girls as cute as you. you slid him the address of where your dorms were at along with your number and paid Brandy before leaving. you had left your stupid purple sparkly pen behind and edward immediately pocketed it.

edward put the napkin of where you left your information on into his coat jacket and left, not bothering to leave a tip this time around.

+

you woke up around ten in the morning and realized you only had an hour if edward decided to pull through on the date you had asked him out on. you put on your favorite pink sweater and black leggings before slipping on the same colored crocs of your hoodie. you knew it was pretty casual but edward didn't seem like fashionable type.

"where ya headed so early in the morning?" your roommates asked. you knew it was pointless to lie, "hopefully to a brunch date, why?" you asked. they all stared at you in shock, "a date? with who? you don't talk to anyone...ever," one of them exclaimed.

"he's graduated," you answered, "he's a forensic accountant for KTMJ so yeah, I don't think you'd know him." just as you were about to head to the door, you heard a knock on the door, "is it him?" they asked. you opened the door to see edward standing there awkwardly.

"hey edward! ready to go?" you asked. he nodded, wiping his hands nervously on his khaki's, "these are my roommates. roommates, this is edward," they all stared at edward in confusion. he was very much not in college anymore and didn't seem like the guys you'd usually go for, "what?" you asked them, seeing the looks they were giving edward, "nothing!" one roommate said, "just not someone we'd see you with," another said.

you could sense that edward was taking what they were saying to heart, "fuck off, that's why your boyfriend cheated on you and you can't find a stable relationship," you spat before leaving. your roommates, as much as they hated what you had said, knew you had a point.

"I was thinking this place by Gotham University. it's usually pretty dead around this time and kind of cheap," you giggled. edward agreed as he opened the door to his crappy car. you thanked him and buckled yourself in as edward started his car and went the way you told him.

the restaurant wasn't far but he could sense it was a very college populated place. they had jerseys from Gotham University hanging and even stupid portraits of dumb people who won ridiculous drinking challenges. as edward pulled into the parking lot, you immediately rolled your eyes at who was walking out.

"why is nelson here," you muttered to yourself, "what was that?" he asked. you shook your head, "nothing. just some stupid guy I was seeing for a while. lets go in before he recognizes I'm here." the two of you walked through the side entrance and sat at a two person table.

"thanks for coming out today, I can't remember the last time I went on a date," you said. edward smiled, "you're telling me. this is the first one I've ever been on," your eyes widened in surprise, "well, it's a pleasure to be your first," you whispered jokingly.

+

you stared at the plethora of photos on edwards wall. you had finally connected the dots that edward was The Riddler. he had confessed it to you one night after he came to your place bloody and hardly able to breathe.

"baby, you're not playing some elaborate joke right?" you asked. edward shook his head no as you went to grab a random paper that was on his wall, "this is a run on sentence babe," you heard edward life, "of course that's what you noticed. grammar mistakes don't pass by you, do they?"

you fixed your glasses and saw the lists of edwards next victims. police officers, government officials, and even the dean of your university, "what does laurence have to do with anything?" you asked him. edward gave you the file he had on him. you read over it quickly and realized that almost all tuition that all of you were paying the school was not going to any of the departments. it was going straight to a wired bank account that he had in secret.

"that stupid bastard," you whispered. edward held you close to him as he told you what the plans of execution were for him. the innocent mind you once had was long gone. although you refused to watch any execution edward did, you did know when they were going to happen and how. you had to admit it but you helped him prep a few of the streams when he was getting overworked.

"you're doing this tonight?" you asked. edward nodded, "can't wait any longer," he replied. you turned to look at edward and placed a kiss on his lips, "be careful. I don't need you getting hurt again and if it's any help, he's usually in his office Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays until eight."

edward sighed contently, "you're heaven sent, sweetheart," he whispered in your ear. you smiled, putting your hands on his face, "I know darling, who else would be willing to go through your murder plans if not me?" you asked jokingly.

your hands went to edwards soft brown hair, running through it and pulling apart the tiny knots he had. edward did not want any of this to end but he knew he had to attend to his evening plans before he was late and wounded up in some unnecessary predicament. he let you kiss him once more before officially placing one last kiss on your forehead before leaving.

you knew that if edward ever got caught, you'd be going down with him. you were an accessory to several murders by now and that was something that Gotham Police would send you to Arkham for. even more so, you knew how disappointed your family would be about everything. they had no idea of the double life you were leading and how deep you were into it.

you pulled on one of edward's shirts and shorts of your own before pulling up the stream. edward knew your username by heart and got excited that you took time out of your day to watch it. once the stream began, you knew he was going to go on about Batman and how he'd see him in hell which you figured out would be Arkham.

as edward grabbed his weapon of choice for tonights execution, you put the phone down, not wanting to witness him actually kill him. edward never understood why you hated seeing it happen but helped with the plans beforehand. it was a weird ick he noticed you had but it was something he was never going to ask you about.

+

you stood in front of the Arkham picturing station, waiting as they set up the camera to take your mugshot. you had gotten caught by Gotham Police with edward. all of the waitresses were dumbfounded that the two of you were basically the reason why Gotham was even worse than it usually was.

you were wearing the infamous first date pastel pink sweater that matched your crocs and glasses. you looked at the camera, giving it an annoyed but tiny smile as they took the pictures. you could see the headlines covering you and edward from the tiny tv on the desk.

"The Riddler and (username) finally in GCPD custody."

your rolled your eyes at the fact that they used the stupid username you had given yourself for the streams as the headlining name. you would have preferred they called you by your real name but as they shoved the both of you into a cell, you were no longer able to read the headlines anymore. your mugshots were shown on TV as you stared at edward and shrugged.

"they could be worse," you joked making edward chuckle, "you're right darling, you look wonderful," he whispered. you shoved him playfully as he sat you on his lap, "I wonder how much time we have left together before they separate us," edward murmured as the two of you watched the news segment on yourself.

they showed pictures of your 'regular' life, wondering how you were able to go from a simple college student to a full fledged 'villain' as they called it. edward knew that they were playing it safe with you because as soon as they got to him, they were tearing him into shreds. they were almost sympathizing about how your life got turned upside down by this Riddler.

"beautiful woman ya got there," the two of you heard a voice from another cell say. you turned to edward as he went towards the door, "thanks pal but she's not available," he replied. the man laughed, an insane laugh you had never heard before, "I ain't takin' her from ya but I do have eyes," he said.

edward held you close as you had approached the door yourself, "nice to meet you," you whispered to the mystery man. he chuckled once more, "pleasure is all mine," was all he said before laying back down. you gave edward a confused look before deciding you had enough for one night and went to the top bunk of the bed.