#i am so bad with posting stuff at a normal rate

[greenunoreversecard]

Update

hey y'all

Uh so...... I haven't done my requests, and I am so, so fucking sorry about that.

Ive been struggling with some stuff and have debated sharing it on here, but that would mean admitting the issues affect me.

But I've decided to just say it.

Recently, I got diagnosed with hEDS (hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome)

Which was honestly expected. I've done mild research on it, and it makes sense, and it also just verified my copious amounts of joint pain is not me being dramatic.

I was also told I had dysautonomia. While I do have a vast portion of the symptoms for POTs (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), I did not test positive as my heart rate evened out after a few minutes and stay that way. And so, because of that, I have to go to a specialist to make sure it's not anything to bad.

this one was somewhat expected I just didn't think it would be as serious as it's become. I thought it was normal.

but hey! at least I have my explanations?

another thing, I recently got told I have a small abnormality in my neck spinal area and that I have to go see a neurosurgeon just to make sure I get cleared for a physical therapy which is recommended for people with hEDS.

so I guess I've just been spending this time trying to finally let myself admit that I am not as strong as I wish I was in that these things do affect me and that they do have an emotional impact on me.

I've also been figuring out ways to minimize pain and such and what things best work for me to help keep me as normal as possible.

as I said, it's all stuff I had inklings of, it just it's really hitting me that I'm not necessarily normal to the fullest extent. And so I've kind of gotten very all over the place.

I'm not trying to make excuses I will get those done eventually and y'all already know that my posting schedule is fuckin- all over the place but I'm just saying it may take a bit more time as I grapple with my physical health affecting my mental health.

sorry for the rant and if it got sad and shit.. uhmmmm...... Whoops?

[naivegh0ul]

OKAY BUT how about Older¡Ghost extremely jealous when his neighbor (reader) brings someone to her house to fuck with her? He would be extremely mad about it, but couldn't help but hear her moans and whimpers, wishing it was him instead making her feel good. (And to be honest, she may only did that to caught Ghost's attention )

YESSS god I love the idea of jealous Older!Ghost (it took me way too answer this i am so so so sorry anon!!!)

(warnings: smut, fem reader, older!ghost, jealousy, blowjobs, face fucking)

(word count: 1908)

It's 3am and Ghost hasn't gotten an ounce of sleep. How could he, when he can hear you moaning so sweetly through the walls. This has been a nightly occurrence. Ghost would go to bed, lay there for a while as he scrolled through pictures of you on his phone, and then the moaning would start.

The first time it happened, Ghost brushed it off, he's heard you pleasuring yourself through the walls before. Hell, he's even watched you. But this time you sounded different. Not so breathy, more high-pitched. Exaggerated.

The second time, he heard the creaking noise. Your bed must be rocking back and forth. Again, not the first time Ghost has heard that, but it is the first time he's heard grunts to go along with it.

Now, at three o'clock in the morning, Ghost has finally had enough. He climbs out of bed, feeling angry and annoyed. Angry that his sleep is being disrupted, and annoyed that he's hard from your moans.

He storms out of bed and out of his house, making his way towards your home in only a pair of grey sweatpants and socks, the imprint of his hard cock visible at the front of his sweats.

There's no response when Ghost knocks the first time, so he goes to knock again but your front door swings open before he can. "Mr. Riley!" You exclaim, slightly out of breath. "W-what's the matter?"

Ghost looks you up and down not so discreetly, noting the fact that one of your pant legs is riding up a little, and your shirt is up slightly, revealing the hickies and bite marks littering your stomach.

A twinge of jealousy filled Ghost at the sight. He has no right to be jealous, he knows that, but he is. You are his. Not officially, but you belong to Ghost. He knows what you like, how to crook his fingers to make you cry out his name, what filthy things to say to make you an embarrassed, whining mess.

That man in your bed probably has no idea what to do, he most likely just whipped his dick out and tried to put it in you, not even bothering to make you cum on his fingers first. He's probably your age, too. Young, immature, thinks with his dick.

Ghost can feel himself getting riled up the more he thinks about that stupid guy in your house. Ghost's is gonna give him what he deserves, the second he leaves your house Ghost is gonna wrap his hands around his throat and watch the life bleed from him-

"Simon?" Your sweet voice coos, pulling Ghost out of his spiraling thoughts. "Have a nice night." Ghost grunts out, turning away and walking straight back to his house.

Going to your house was a bad idea. You're a grown woman, for God's sake. He should leave you alone and stop being such an obsessive old man.

The sound of your sock-covered feet hitting the pavement has Ghost turning around before he enters his house. "Simon!" You say, looking up at him as you come to a stop on his front doorstep. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" There's clear concern in your eyes, making Ghost's heart melt.

"'M fine, love. Don't worry 'bout me." Ghost sighs, reaching forward to ruffle your hair. "Go back inside, 'm sure your guest is waitin' for you."

Ghost tries to turn around again but your hands reach out and grab the waistband of his joggers. "He..." You mumble, looking down at your feet. "He doesn't make me feel as good as you do." You admit as you glance up at Ghost with pleading, desperate eyes.

"Love..." Ghost sighs again "'M too old for you, alright? Go back inside, pretty girl." He leans forward and kisses your forehead softly and strokes your hair before pulling back.

Suddenly, you're on your knees in front of him, hands tugging at his waistband. "Please, Simon?" You coo, palming him through his joggers. Ghost swears under his breath, cock twitching and his hands curling into fists as he fights off the urge to give in.

No, he gave in once. He got his fill, he shouldn't be greedy. But you look so pretty in front of him, kneeling on the hard concrete, your face so close to his throbbing cock.

"You really want this, don't you?" Ghost says as he rubs the bridge of his nose. "Come on, get up. Don't want you kneeling on the concrete." Ghost reaches down and pulls you up, guiding you into his house.

Once the door is shut, you sink to your knees again, eager to please Ghost. "Fuck, you're eager." Ghost breathes as he undoes the ties on his sweatpants, pushing the garment down past his hips, exposing his cock to you.

He watches as your throat bobs and you swallow, your hands sliding up and down his thighs impatiently. Ghost wraps a hand around himself and strokes himself a few times, watching as you shuffle forward and open your mouth.

"Just this once." Ghost thinks to himself as he grabs the back of your head and slowly pushes his cock inside your waiting mouth, groaning loudly as the feeling of your warm, wet mouth engulfs him.

His hand guides you up and down the length of his cock, his fingers tangled in your hair and tugging ever so slightly. He has to fight the urge to buck forward, to fuck into your mouth as you drool all over him.

When he feels your hand on his balls suddenly, he jolts, a moan being shocked out of him as you gently roll them in your hand. "Attagirl," Ghost praises softly, barely audible over the sound of your slurping and gagging as you try to pleasure him at your pace, not his.

Ghost lets you do what you want, letting go of your hair and watching as you scoot forward and take more of Ghost into your mouth. It's a delicious sight, seeing your mouth stretching around him as your fingers wrap around the base of Ghost's cock.

You move further down Ghost's shaft each time, taking more and more of him. Your lips bump into your fingers as you take away one each time, building yourself up until finally you've got Ghost's cock buried deep in your throat, your neck bulging ever so slightly.

"Fuuuck," Ghost groans as he throws his head back, bumping it into the wall. His hips jerk, forcing himself further down your throat and making his heavy balls slap against your face. When you swallow around him, it takes everything in him not to cum right then and there. He has to pull you back so he can control himself.

You're pulled off with a wet cough, one hand holding your throat while the other wipes the spit from your mouth. "Why'd you stop?" You rasp as you look up at Ghost, licking your lips.

"Got close." You tilt your head at his explanation. "Why didn't you just cum then?" Your hand finds its way back to Ghost's cock, your thumb and forefinger gently pulling back Ghost's foreskin as you wait for a response.

"Didn't know if... mhm, if you wanted me to." He pauses mid-sentence as you wrap your lips around his tip, lapping the milky white precum beading from his slit. Your tongue digs under his foreskin, licking him teasingly.

You're so good at this, making Ghost feel like he has no control and you're in charge when you're only giving him a blowjob. You're not even doing anything special, not ordering him around or trying to be dominant, you're just gently suckling on his cock and now you've got him wrapped around your finger.

And it's not fair. Ghost wants to fuck a pretty girl like you with no repercussions, but he knows that's not possible, the moment they're having explains that all away. You can't get pleasure from anyone other than Ghost, and he can't stop himself from pleasuring you.

He's trying so hard to focus and what you're doing, but the way your hand strokes him and your tongue laps at him has him feeling floaty and drunk so he doesn't notice when he starts thrusting his hips forward slowly, fucking into the wet heat of your mouth.

Your hands hold onto his hairy thighs as he gently fucks your mouth, your nails scratching lightly as you let him do what he wants. He sounds so gorgeous, breathy moans and groans escaping his throat as he rocks his hips.

You watch him, big eyes looking up at Ghost curiously as you swallow. He looks so good from where you're kneeling, mindless yet focused as he moves you up and down on his cock like you're a toy, just a thing for his pleasure.

And you let him. You let him drag you along his cock or hold you still so he can fuck into your mouth; you let him lose himself as he stares into your teary, lustful eyes.

"So pretty down there." Ghost mumbles, slurring his words as if he's drunk on the feeling of you. "Perfect little mouth, so warm..." His hand moves from the back of your head to the side, Ghost's other hand joining in as he holds you still and slowly thrusts into your mouth, letting out breathy little grunts each time.

He's close, you can tell from the way his breathing speeds up and hips move faster, eagerly bucking into your mouth. Ghost gets rough when he's close, you know that, so you're prepared when he adjusts his stance and grips your head tighter, pulling you down so your nose is buried in the thick hair at the base of his cock.

"Fuuuck," Ghost groans as he feels your throat contract, watches as your eyes water and your hands grip his thigh. "Good fucking girl, takin' me so well." His thumb swipes below your eye, wiping away your tears as his hips snap against your face, balls slapping your chin.

"'M close," He pants, feeling his cock twitch in your mouth. "You gonna swallow it like a good girl?" At his words, you moaned, eyebrows pinching as you scooted forward on the floor and licked at the sensitive vein on the underside of Ghost's cock.

“Yeah, ‘s what I thought.” His hands tighten their hold on your head, pulling you closer to him. You’re a gagging, drooling mess, hands planted in your lap as you hear Ghost let out a loud, long moan, his hips stilling as he forces his cock further into your mouth, spilling his seed down your throat.

When Ghost finally lets you off – after holding you there for an unreasonable amount of time – you splutter and cough, one hand gingerly holding your throat while the other wipes your mouth.

You stand up after a moment, knees clicking and cracking from being so stiff and you look at Ghost with a tiny smile on your face and a happy expression. Boldly, you lean closer, standing on your tiptoes as you go in for a kiss.

But Ghost stops you with a hand on your shoulder, shutting you down. “We shouldn’t.” He shakes his head as he speaks. He can see the look of hurt and confusion in your eyes as you step back, visibly embarrassed.

“Um, I’ll go now.” You say softly, avoiding eye contact. “Bye, Mr. Riley.”

[notfinancialadvice]

How I Built an Emergency Fund, inspiration I deeply hope is helpful

As the blog URL says, this is not financial advice. This is how I did this thing, and I am posting it here, publicly, in hopes that it helps you should you need this information.

In short: Remix this advice to what fits your life + do not sue me if this goes poorly for you. This is for Americans, if you do not live in America and/or your money is not in America, I hope this is a useful base.

None of these links are affiliate links.

I write these things as a mental shift. I like to ramble and I wish I had someone tell me this stuff 20+ years ago. I'm hoping this helps you.

This is an incredibly long post so I'm putting it under a KEEP READING.

This post goes over two stages: "short term + not life-or-death" and "long term + actual life or death"

Part 01: SHORT TERM + NOT LIFE-OR-DEATH FUND

You need to find a high yield savings account that is FDIC insured. Ally is a popular bank for this.

Functionally, the only difference between a "high yield savings account" and "savings account" from the giant conglomerate bank down the street is the interest rate.

I do not know why non-high-yield savings accounts exist. I'm guessing because legally they can, and I hate it.

Moving away from my personal socioeconomic views to return to advice.

"FDIC insured" is not something you pay for. It is nearly universal on savings accounts. If a savings account, or a checking account, does NOT have it, then you should not put your money there. Something is wrong with that bank.

FDIC means if your bank goes out of business, your account is insured up to $250,000, per account, by the government. So if your bank goes out of business, the government makes sure you still have your cash (up to $250k).

A high-yield savings account means your cash is available whenever you need it.

Other products, like CDs, exist, but this ramble is designed to be as simple and starter as possible. Begin with a high yield savings account, build up from there as you do your own research + compare this to your needs.

Do not accept an account that has minimum balances. Do not open an account with monthly fees.

Touch this account as little as possible.

For every $1 you put in, every month, a few pennies will materialize. It's not much, but the main point is at every level, your money works for you.

Rich people do this. You can too.

Touch this account as little as possible.

You can have multiple savings accounts.

I personally have a savings account in the above structure designed for "oh hell I am kinda screwed, but will be okay, just need a buffer."

"How much should I have in there?" you might ask. Common advice says "3-6 months expenses" which is a lot. I say "start with literally $1 and continue as you can until comfortable with what is possible, for you, at this time."

Will $1 make you rich? No.

Will it save your life in a bad situation? Probably not.

Does this $1 essentially become a tiny robot that is making you money for as long as it is docked into its cargo bay? ...weird metaphor but we'll go with it, sure.

Ultimately is it a start? Yes.

You can have multiple savings accounts. You can have a savings account "this is for short term emergencies" and "this is for... slightly less short term" etc.

It costs you nothing to have multiple. They all operate in the same way. It's handy to have them all at the same bank because it can make transferring cash easier.

Part 02: LONG TERM + ACTUAL LIFE-OR-DEATH FUND WITH RISK SO BE CAREFUL

Once you have your savings account set up, and it's being funded on a regular basis (every week, every paycheck, every month, every quarter -- whatever works for you), look into creating a second, bigger, more dangerous-term cash reserve.

I like my Roth IRA. This is a link to a proper finance blog that has a lot of details. I am trying to make this handy/simple to get started.

401ks and (non-Roth) IRAs are funded with pre-tax dollars, frequently in conjunction with your job.

Normally, cash goes from job -> government takes a slice -> you.

Pre-tax retirement accounts, cash goes from job -> retirement takes the percentage you decide -> government takes a slice of what is left -> you

Roth IRAs, job -> government takes a slice -> you -> Roth IRA

The benefit to pre-tax retirement accounts being, because the cash going in is pre-tax, there is more of it.

It can grow faster in the stock market or other places your particular fund allows you to put cash into.

The taxes come out when you withdraw -- usually retirement -- because if you withdraw before you retire, you are heavily penalized with extra fees.

That's why Part 02 is a ROTH IRA. Your money has already been taxed -- job -> government's slice -> you -> Roth IRA.

This means the money is yours, already taxed. If you withdraw the gains, those get taxed, but the base, that's yours.

If you invest $100 and it grows to $105, you can withdraw $100 without paying fees or taxes. If you withdraw that extra $5, that is when taxes start to come into play. If you withdraw $100, and leave the $5, the $5 continues to grow, and that extra growth is taxed if withdrawn. So try not to touch it (ideally you leave all of it until retirement).

This is why this is an emergency, life-or-death only, account. You tap it only when you need to when all other choices are wretched and ruinous.

There is an annual limit as to how much money you can put into a Roth IRA (several thousand bucks).

You can start them very small. Like $20 or maybe less.

Look for a bank or institution that does not charge fees to open and maintain one.

AT EVERY STEP YOU SHOULD BE AVOIDING FEES

Here are smart people talking about ideas on how to get started.

Okay, so, what do we do now with this fancy roth thing.

Here is where things get... uncomfortable.

A Roth IRA is an account type.

You need to do something with your money.

The reason you have this in addition to, and secondary to, your high-yield savings account is because this is an investment vehicle, the balance is going to go up and down, and may reach $0.00.

For my Roth IRA, I like "exchange traded funds" -- ETFs.

There are a lot of options -- you can invest in most anything

Because my Roth IRA is built for "help me I'm dying" emergencies, I invest in a mix of S&P 500 index funds and small-cap funds.

SO MANY WORDS.

Let's break this down what this means.

S&P 500 index funds: This is an index fund of giant, giant, giant companies.

An index fund is like a stock. But instead of a single company, it tracks (owns shares of) an index -- like the DOW or Nasdaq. Or countries. Or... the entire market for oil. Etc.

The metaphor isn't completely accurate, but I like to think of it as "an index fund is a company that owns tiny bits of other companies."

Like, okay, say you have SlimeIndexFund and a share price is $40.

In this example, SlimeIndexFund owns $10 worth of "BardCo" and $10 of "ThiefCo" and $10 of "MermaidCo" and $10 of "EvilCo".

Let's say EvilCo does a lot of evil and is now worth $15, and MermaidCo does a lot of mermaid stuff and is now worth $15, and BardCo sings out of tune so is now worth $5. ThiefCo is oddly at the same $10 but we're scared so we're leaving ThiefCo to stay at $10.

A share in SlimeIndexFund is now worth $45. ($5 BardCo + $10 ThiefCo + $15 EvilCo + $15 MermaidCo)

This is diversification

Because I bought an index fund, instead of just buying BardCo, my risk is less.

Had I bought all MermaidCo, my return would be higher -- but this is a much bigger risk.

The entire purpose of this set up of a Roth IRA is TO MINIMIZE RISK.

Your Roth IRA should allow you to buy "fractional shares" and if it doesn't fuck that bank, go somewhere that does.

In the above example, SlimeIndexFund is $40/share and at that price you are getting the full benefit of 1 share.

Let's say you have $10.

You buy a fractional share of SlimeIndexFund for $10, which is 25% of 1 share.

So when SlimeIndexFund shares raise from $40 -> $45, your fractional share goes from $10 -> $12.50.

Not all funds and stock shares (etc) have fractional shares, most do.

It's a great way to start and build.

Small-cap funds: These operate in literally the same way. The difference is the companies are (in comparison) much smaller. They tend to be more nimble.

So I am diversifying between "here is a fund, it has a lot of large companies" and "here is a fund, it has a lot of small companies."

Let's say Big Office Building real estate goes down, but the sale of Small Company Making waffles goes up. This mixes together and I'm less in danger of losing money, or losing much money.

You can pick individual stocks.

The reason it is not recommended, by nearly everyone, is because the market has incredible tools and power over individual stocks.

By using any kind of fund that bundles things together, you are thereby automatically using these tools by proxy

It is critical to understand this is the stock market. Your account will go up and down. It may go down A LOT, like 25%, and take years to recover. Maybe it goes down 100% to literally $0.00.

That's why this is the LAST RESORT EMERGENCY FUND.

So why are we doing this.

This feels... wrong?

The potential for growth is significantly higher than a savings account. Adjusted for inflation, somewhere in between 6-7%.

At this rate, if you can leave your initial deposit alone for somewhere between 10 - 13 years, it has doubled.

This equation recalculates every time you make a deposit. So if you can deposit $20 every pay check, it has the potential to grow very quickly.

As above, this is the stock market, so it can also get wiped out.

But given the stock market has historically always recovered, though it may take several years, the risk is worth it to me + a lot of other people.

The reason this is built as a last-resort cash bucket is because of this risk. Before moving into this arena, you should have other cash buckets as a buffer.

Your RISK is it goes down. Which it will frequently.

Your REWARD is if it goes up. Which historically it has far more than it went down.

The PURPOSE of using funds as described above is so you don't have try to guess who the next Amazon is and wind up picking the next Pets.com (which went out of business, like, a long... long time ago).

The people making the funds figure out who is Amazon and who is Pets.com and work, day and night, to make your money grow and/or protect it when outside influences are hurting the market.

They are incredibly equipped to do this and their literal livelihood is on the line when they do it poorly.

Which is a polite way of saying, they are continuously incentivized above all else to work for the fund you're investing in.

The reason you're doing this in a Roth IRA specifically is you're hoping to keep as much of it intact, as possible, until you retire, at which point -- if you've followed fairly simple rules -- you withdraw the base and gains tax-free.

Whereas money in a normal stock account? Those gains are taxable every year.

"I have literally $20 I can save per pay check! Can I put in $15 into a high-yield savings account and $5 into a Roth IRA to get started?!"

Yes!

Also, congrats! You're diversifying already!

Your Roth IRA broker should allow you to invest a minimum of $1 at a time, and buy fractional shares. If they don't, don't sign up with them!

Lean heavily into your high-yield savings account until that is very comfortable and thick, then push money into the Roth IRA.

Your goal is to build a system that works for you -- both literally (money working for you) and emotionally ("this is comfortable")

"Should I pay off debt before proceeding? A lot of people say to pay off excess debt first."

This is up to you.

Most financial blogs etc. do say "focus on paying off debt first" -- it's good advice, your returns are risk-free and permanent, since the lower your debt is, the less you have to pay over time.

Interest -- working for you or against you -- is continuous and eternal.

Personally, I like to diversify everything, so I not-financial-advice ramble "do all three -- pay down debt, throw a little cash into a high-yield savings, throw a little cash into a Roth IRA"

The problem with "pay off debt first" is that it misses out any occasional giant gains the stock market makes (Roth IRA) and introduces the risk of "I have paid this credit card on time for 5 years, I'm short on change for 3 months due to a situation that gets resolved quickly, and now I have a late payment fee, and a higher interest rate."

Look at your life, finances, and potential future and make decisions!

And also:

Always be on the look out for deals with banks. Sign up bonuses, referral links from friends, etc. Think of it as a money sale.

If you are not comfortable with the idea of a Roth IRA hitting $0.00 potentially, do not do step 02. These are ideas, not directives.

All financial tools can be used for different purposes. All of them. Thus -- these are ideas, not directives.

I am listing a few examples of banks, funds, etc. These are not recommendations nor are they affiliate links. They are listed because I want to maximize your start on this path, but caution, in strongest possible terms, you must do your own research and figure out what makes sense for you.

There are a lot of nuances I am paving over for the sake of simplicity, which is why I am continually saying...

...c'mon say it with me...

...you must do your own research before continuing

Smart, free sites that cover this + a lot of other stuff:

NerdWallet

Bank Rate

One final note about Roth IRAs:

Robinhood currently is offering a 1% match on an IRA. Considering the strict limits of how much an IRA can intake per year, it's not much, but it doesn't cost you anything. Money on sale!

As a final note -- always feel comfortable asking people handling your money for help. They are working for you. Your money works FOR YOU.

If you are uncomfortable, leave, immediately, without concern.

At the retail level, there are hundreds of banks and financial institutions clamoring for your business. If someone makes you uncomfortable for not knowing something, or getting a term wrong, or asking "too many" questions -- go somewhere else.

It doesn't matter if your account is literally worth $20.

They are working for you.

This is a business transaction, and if they make you feel like your time isn't worth their business, I promise you there is someone else who will gladly take care of you.

I end with -- whenever someone is giving you financial advice, always ask why. It helps ensure they aren't scamming you, it's just a good business practice.

I like to ramble, it helps me mentally

I like to be useful, I want the world to be significantly more balanced in terms of who is doing okay

I like to write, this is all good practice for me in doing Various Other Things I do

I fucking hate predatory financial practices. I was gatekept out of financial literacy for decades and so every time I help someone else figure out how to set up their own life and protect themselves it is a giant "fuck you" to the systems and directly to the people who stood in my way.

[themotherofhorses]

Hi guys, it's Vic! Also known as:

Round TWO at addressing the extreme racism in the CoD fandom!

So it’s both odd and funny that my Indigenous fem!OC has pissed off so many random people, especially with the fact that I created her to ship with Ghost.

(A fictional character that has NO canon love interest, FYI. Sorry to bust y'all's little bubble. Well, there's Mara and Urban Tracker....)

Anyways, I really don't care if this post sounds bitchy in nature. I really don't, not anymore. Some of y'all need a damn wakeup call. Several months ago, in December of 2023, I made a post (here) regarding the sudden influx of hate I began receiving following the posting of my OC, SilentDove Reyes. For around two weeks after that post, the hate died down, and I felt motivated to create more content involving Dove and Ghost.

Until the hate picked up again with every little thing I posted that related to my OC x Ghost.

However....this new hate incorporated the MMIW. A bold ass move, in my opinion.

If you are not aware, the MMIW stands for "Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women." Alternate spellings include the MMIWG & MMIWGTS (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, and Two-Spirits). As of 2023, statistics indicate that Indigenous women face a 10x murder rate than any other race/ethnicity. I have made a previous post regarding the issue, seen here. The unfortunate truth is that young Indigenous girls are more likely to be SA'd and murdered than to attend college. Let that sink in for a moment.

Now, I am an Indigenous woman. That is no surprise there; I fashioned my OC to provide myself (and, by extension, others) with Native representation in a franchise I greatly enjoy. What IS surprising, however, is that me doing so has pissed off so many people. I'm very certain some of y'all must descend from Andrew Jackson, or John Wayne cause, christ on a bike driven by a pike.

Here is a screenshot of a hate anon I recently received:

Listen, I don't care who you ship Ghost with. I really don't. I've blocked numerous shipping tags, remained mindful of the content I'm interacting with, and surrounded myself with fellow mutuals who also have personal OCs. It is really that easy.

What I do care about is the fact that some of you CANNOT separate fanon headcanons from canon material.

Exhibit A:

So let’s clear some stuff up!

Soap x Ghost is NOT canon.

Ghost being queer is NOT canon.

And, most definitely, Ghost being a woman abuser who would harm/abuse/murder a woman (either physically, emotionally, psychologically) is NOT canon.

What IS canon is his and Soap's strong bond. In my eyes, that is a brotherly bond, reminding me of a big brother/little brother relationship; in my fanfiction, Soap is Ghost's children's uncle. In fact, his son (second-born child) is named after him.

You are, of course, free to view them as romantic; what you are not free to do is attack OC creators/non-shippers for not perceiving them like that.

That is just fucking weird and delusional behavior. Knock it off. You're giving your fellow normal shippers a bad name.

ALSO! Let’s clear things up!

1. I’m not straight — I’m bisexual and demisexual.

2. I’m only half white (Spanish, with Mexican heritage). I’m QUITE LITERALLY an enrolled Native, so I guess the best way to describe me is “biracial.”

3. It’s y’all ruining the canon gay representation by shipping Laswell—a GAY woman—with Price, despite the fact that she canonically has a wife.

4. My OC does not have a “dumb fucking name.” Her name is an Indigenous name with a specific backstory to it; it’ll be explored further in future fanfics once I find the motivation to return to writing.

Anyways, I highly doubt this will be the last post I create regarding this problem; apparently, a nice chunk of the fandom has this intense animosity towards fem!OCs, fem!Y/Ns, and BIPOC!OC creators. Alright. With that being said, I invite anyone who has similar experiences to share yours, either in the reblogs or in separate posts.

As sometimes we say during pow wows:

“The floor is all yours.”

Thank you!

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[gladdygirl18]

Okay okay so uhmmmm..... I feel like I'm gonna cry from how happy and loved I feel rn...... 🥹🥹🥹💖💖 (blue me, pink GF)

So yesterday night, my GF, our 2 friends, and I were watching Fairy Tail (the GMGs specifically), and I started teasing my GF about something that's gonna happen later on in the show (lovingly, ofc). When I got back from getting something to drink, I walked up to my GF and smiled, being a brat. She scoffed and held out her hand (does this whenever she wants me to sit next to her or on her lap). I took her hand and she yanked me onto her lap. A few seconds passed and she started poking my sides before she really started tickling, scribbling across my sides and kissing my neck (I was so happy 🥰😊💖)

When all was said and done, the match between Mirajane and Jenny started and ngl..... I got a bit jealous cuz IK how much my GF loves Mirajane as well as a lot of other women in Fairy Tail..... and it kinda got under my skin. When I told her this before we went to bed, she started teasing me about it, saying "Karma" before tickling me AGAIN 😳💖 (it made me feel better)

Later on that night, I randomly asked my GF, "How do you do it?" She replied with "WDYM?" "I know we're together and normally asking for things or expressing our concerns helps better our communication skills, but..... it's hard for me, y'know?" "Asking for what... in what regard? You mean when I~....?" (Rated R stuff I won't get into) "Not just that, it's...."

Bro when I tell you this conversation was so flustering omgggg 😳🤭🫣 but it has a good ending

"Often times when I'm sad or upset, I.... sometimes want to ask you to.... tickle me cuz it'll cheer me up but.... it's really hard to do that...." My GF turned over and said, AND I QUOTE, "Well, why don't we come up with a word or phrase to tell me you want that, even if there are... prying eyes...."

BROOOOO WTFFF 😳😳😳 I SWEAR TO FUCK I THOUGHT I WAS DREAMING WHEN SHE SAID THAT!!!! 🫣🥰🥹💖I AM LITERALLY LIVING OUT MULTIPLE TICKLE FANFICS RN WTFFFF💖💖💖💖

After some thinking, we settled on the phrase "necesito sonreir" which means "I need to smile." Simple yet effective

I swear to fuck I have never been more happy in my life rn, omggggg.💖🫶🏾🥰 Now whenever I want tickles (whether I'm in a good mood or bad mood) I just say that phrase and I get tickles. Omgggg I'm legit tearing up rn, broooo🥹🥹🥹

Yeah so that's my little TT (tickle tea) for the week. I'll probably post more if anything happens after this. Might make a series off this who knows, I'll start tagging these as #tickle tea stories

Tagging the fwends: @giggly-squiggily @cutesmokes @burningablaze @lovelymessybubbly @otomiyaa @sunstone-smiles

[spinningwebsandtales]

The Shape Of You

Michael Myers X FemReader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Blood, mentions of murder, weapons, basically all the good stuff that comes in a Halloween movie.

Word Count: 5.1k

Pt. 2: here Pt. 3 here Pt. 4 here Pt. 5 here Pt. 6 here

(A/N:) I actually wasn’t going to post this as I had wrote it for me and a friend but after having so much fun and it turning out better than I possibly could imagine. I changed my mind. I’ve been a Halloween fan for years now and Michael has been my favorite slasher since I was a kid. I just grew up and found my interests leaning elsewhere. I don’t know. But this is the outcome of that! XD I’m still working on my last four Halloween imagines and hopefully I’ll have them done in time but for now to all you Michael fangirls I hope you enjoy this little piece that I had a blast writing! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Halloween once again had come upon the town of Haddonfield and while other people your age were planning to go out out for partying and drinking, you found yourself wanting to just enjoy time at home, alone. Life had been hectic here lately and while you absolutely loved Halloween, the thought of going out and doing normal things didn’t seem appealing. While typing away at the computer on your desk you planned a whole evening of all the things you wanted to do while staying indoors. Favorite scary movies, popcorn, and that leftover pasta from the famous Italian restaurant down the street you ordered last night. It all sounded like heavenly bliss before your atmosphere was shattered by someone taking a seat on the top of your desk.

“So I was thinking,” your intruder started and you rolled your eyes as you realized just who barged in on your happy thoughts.

“Hi Ian,” you replied. While you tried to get along with everyone in the office Ian was the one person who would never take no for an answer. Pushy and clingy he had tried so many times to get you to go out with him, though you weren’t interested in dating at the moment and told him so.

“Hi (Y/N). How about me and you go out for some drinks and Halloween treats?”

“No thanks,” you grinned warmly but gritted your teeth behind your lips. “I already have plans and I wasn’t wanting to go out tonight.”

“What? Scared of the Boogeyman are we,” he chuckled.

“As a matter of fact,” you paused grin never wavering though your hands were shaking a little over the keys of the computer, “I am. I had bad experiences when I was a child.”

Ian’s flirtatious smile faltered into one of sympathy. Now you were fighting hard to keep from slapping him. ‘Today is not the day to get fired.’ You repeated mentally. ‘Today is not the day to get fired.’

“I’m sure I can help you make better memories to overtake those bad ones,” he reached over to pat your head unknowingly how much danger he was putting his appendage in.

“While I really appreciate you,” your bright eyes could melt steel with the glare you were giving him, “I will just have to pass. This week has really been rough and there’s things around the house I need to take care of. I’m sure Julie would be more than happy to take my place. You two go out and have a good time for me. Have a nice evening Ian.” You didn’t leave any room for arguments as you packed up your belongings, shutting down the computer, and power walked out of the building. Once outside in the crisp autumn air did you finally sigh in relief. Children rushed down the sidewalk in their costumes chasing one another with gleeful screams. You grinned, happy to know that the memory of all those years ago were finally disappearing. While others had called the man that had brought terror on the quiet town a monster, you weren’t so sure. There was always two sides and no one was truly evil without something behind their reasoning.

Dodging kids while making your way to your car in the company parking lot, you felt a chill run down your spine. Not from the wind this time but like you were being watched. Glancing at your surroundings while you fumbled with your car keys and since you weren’t paying attention, the keys tumbled from the your hand hitting the ground. You bent down to pick them back up while cursing up a storm, you contemplated just walking home. It was such a nice day and the autumn breeze was calling your name. But after the feeling of being watched and seeing the person of your ire exit the front door of the office building, you hurriedly grabbed your keys before unlocking the door, buckling quickly, and speeding out of the parking lot. Ian tried chasing you down at the entrance but you just acted like you thought he was waving goodbye to you and left him in a cloud of exhaust.

 It wasn’t until you were in your driveway did you finally breathe a sigh of relief. Years ago when the murders had happened in Haddonfield, it had shaken up the whole town. You included, despite not knowing the teens at that time. You were a little older than them, but it didn’t matter it was scary to think of somebody, anybody really, losing their life in such a way. It had ruined Halloween for you, for a little while but now as the trauma was winding down you were enjoying it more and more. But that didn’t change the fact you didn’t feel like going out and you still wanted to punch Ian in the face for being an insensitive jerk. Groaning you planted your face into the steering wheel trying to calm yourself once more. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day to get fired. Who were you kidding though? You needed the job and you weren’t about to go back living with your parents who hovered over every detail of your life, especially about your dating life, or lack of one. Heaving another groan you grabbed your purse from the passenger seat and shut the car off. 

The sun was beginning to set and when you opened the car door your hair was tussled by a sudden frosty gust. Children giggled and screamed as they went through the neighborhood stopping door to door trick-or-treating. You forgot your fear for one moment and just relished in other’s festivities. Unlocking the front door you kicked off your shoes before dropping the bag right by the door. You would worry about picking up later, right now your leftovers were calling and there was supposed to be a really good movie on TV this evening.

The microwave whirled as you watched the screen from the kitchen not wanting to miss one part. As soon as the microwave beeped the channel started a commercial break, now you could hurry and finish getting your dinner ready before the movie came back on. Grabbing a soda, napkin, and silverware you hurried back to your couch before setting everything down. You ate in silence focusing on what was happening between the characters on screen, but halfway through the movie you were starting to get bored. It also didn’t help that you were getting antsy from sitting at a desk all day. Then you went back to thinking about Ian and how pushy he was today, which caused your blood pressure to begin to rise. Giving up, you grabbed a light jacket and slipped on some shoes, you felt like a walk would be the perfect remedy for your sudden energy spurt. Though as soon as you slipped out of the front door the channel you were watching suddenly interrupted the movie with a breaking news bulletin.

  “Haddonfield PD is urging residences to stay inside this evening as a mental patient has escaped Grove Sanitarium. The escapee is reported to be Michael Myers, the man who was behind the horrific murders that left this peaceful town in tatters at his evil deeds several years ago. Keep all doors and windows locked and for no reason should residents leave their homes. God protect us all. Stay safe and good evening.”

Once the reporter finished the TV stayed on a loop announcing the escape but it was too late you were already on the darkened streets.

You tightened your jacket closer to your body as you treaded across the sidewalk under the streetlights. You were slightly confused on where everyone was at. It wasn’t that late and it had you worried on what could have made everyone go home early. Though Halloween did fall in the middle of the week where children did have school in the morning and parents had to work. So you just chalked everything up to people needing to go home to prepare for their busy lives tomorrow. While you too had work in the morning you couldn’t bring yourself to go home just yet as you were enjoying your Halloween walk looking at all the carved pumpkins and decorations on your neighbor’s porches. You brushed hair from your eyes as you braved another chilling breeze. But the further you got from your house the more your senses were screaming for you to go back. It was just too quiet and everyone’s porch lights were off. Your breathing quickened and your body quivered uncontrollably, it was then you turned quickly and began to sprint back home.

 You weren’t far from your destination when you drove face first into something solid. Hitting the concrete hard and skinning the palm of your hands you rubbed your sore nose before looking up to whatever you ran into. A form stood before you the light causing the front of his body to be covered in slithering shadows.

“E-excuse me,” you stuttered trying to rise from the ground. He stepped closer wordlessly cocking his head to the side in curiousness. Your stomach dropped in terror while your heart leapt into your throat choking you as soon as the face was revealed to you. Where features of a human should be, a mask covered his entire head with pale plastic skin, tangled fake coffee brown hair, and cold blackened depths where eyes should be. He towered over you like a mountain of muscle covered by dark blue coveralls soaked in places with darkened spots of what you were hoping was fake blood, while a kitchen knife sticky with what looked to be blood glittered dangerously in the sickly orange glow of the overhead streetlight.

“M-michael,” you stammered scrambling backwards from the fearsome presence he radiated. Taking another step menacingly while cocking his head once more, you knew for sure you were face to face with the danger you had feared for so many years. You screamed trying to get up, though your fear weakened legs refused to budge any faster than a crawl. He had you in a grip immediately tugging your body towards his. You could feel the wet spots of blood soaking into your clothes before his dirty hand went over your mouth quieting your screams. While his vise like grip refused to budge he didn’t squeeze any tighter leaving you pressed up against him. Boots thudded behind you two as you sobbed quietly into the palm of his calloused hand.

“There he is,” voices shouted and you melted in relief, though despite the terror inside there was a voice deep down inside telling you not to be so frightened. You figured the voice you were hearing was due to others coming to your rescue, but honestly you weren’t so sure at the feeling of Michael’s hands. Michael turned towards the voices still holding you before him. Police officers from different agencies stood before you both ready to take action against the man who had petrified the small town.

  “Let her go Michael,” a officer spoke who you recognized to be the chief of police.

“Michael,” another man stepped forward from the shadows wearing a white coat. “You don’t want to hurt her Michael.”

You sobbed quietly, muffled by Michael’s hand still covering your mouth. Still he refused to release you despite their warnings. The chief was uttering something into the radio on his shoulder which caused your blood to freeze. “Take the shot,” he muttered and you screamed as Michael suddenly whirled around. Gunshots echoed through the pitch black night as your capturer grunted before stumbling. You looked to the officers in disbelief. They had shot at him while he was holding you. If Michael hadn’t turned suddenly, you surely would have been hit. Without a word Michael raced for his escape with you still in tow.

“Put me down,” you pleaded while being jostled around. “Please put me down.” Michael didn’t say a word continuing to run with you tightly in his grip.

He couldn’t explain why he brought you nor could he find any rhyme or reason within himself on why he was bringing you along. He didn’t escape to kidnap anybody, this was his night to take his revenge, against people who didn’t understand him and just labeled him as a horrific monster. He breathed heavily as blood poured from his wounds. Why he turned to keep you safe from the gunshots he couldn’t explain that either. All he knew at this moment he had to find some place to hide to regain his strength and staunch his bleeding. You were still being bounced around like a fruit being blended in a blender and it was beginning to make you a little sick. The feel of warm sticky blood was flowing out of Michael’s wounds into your clothes didn’t help either.

“You are going to bleed out at this rate if you don’t put me down,” you tried to get him to see reason but still he continued on. He made it into the darkened woods where your face was getting scratched up by branches and thorns alike while Michael still carried you like a suitcase, jolting you up and down. The moonlight showed the way to some extent but Michael must have better eyes than you as he navigated through all sorts of heavy brush easily. It wasn’t until a decrepit shed came into view. Wooden roof tiles circled the place, while broken shutters barely hung to shattered window frames, but it did look sturdy enough as Michael made it up to the front door where he finally dropped you and collapsed to the ground. Blood pooled from his wounds surrounding his heaving body. You looked around completely lost with no escape in sight, but as you looked down at the masked figure your heart broke. Something deep inside within him had protected you from shots that surely would have killed you. Your mother always did accuse you of having a bleeding heart no matter the person. You sighed giving into fate before grabbing one of his arms. He swiped with the knife barely missing your cheek causing you to stumble back and fall on your bottom for the second time that night.

“Easy,” you cooed like you were talking to a spooked horse. “I just want to help. I kinda owe you for taking those bullets for me.”

You couldn’t see them but you could feel his eyes piercing through you. You shivered at the weight of his stare before his head thudded back down in defeat. How you were going to get the hulking man through the door was beyond you, but nobody ever accused you of being a quitter. You grabbed his arm again, this time without him trying to cut you to pieces and drug him inside. Inside the dusty tattered furniture was way outdated and the bed was rickety but it would work. Though you knew for sure that you couldn’t get Michael up onto the bed by yourself.

“Think you could help me get you up on the bed where I can clean your wounds and get them wrapped up?”

He just stared at you again and you could of have sworn that you saw his eyebrow raise under the plastic of the mask. He grunted while sitting up, more blood pouring from the holes in his shoulder and side. You grimaced seeing the large stain, but with your help he was up and laid upon the dusty bed. You coughed trying to figure out how you could clean such wounds with a bare falling apart shack. You looked out the grimy windows spotting a hand pump well, you just hope it wasn’t dry. But water wasn’t going to keep infection away if you didn’t have any soap or medicines. Opening the cabinets there was a few rusty cans of food before you found an old box of bar soap. Opening it you found a brand new bar nestled inside though it was old and shriveled it was better than nothing. You grabbed an old chipped porcelain bowl to take to the pump. Before leaving you went back to the sprawled out Michael who’s chest was rising and falling slowly.

“I’m just going out to the well out back to get water, if it’ll work. I’m not running away I promise. I don’t even know where to go if I tried,” you assured before pausing to at least hear a grunt of acknowledgment.

 Michael laid there in silence no movement, nothing. You peered closer to see his eyes closed in the depths hidden by the mask. While he was still alive and breathing he had lost consciousness. You sighed. At least he waited until he was up on the bed, but lifting him up to take the top part of his clothes off was going to be a pain. You blushed slightly wondering on what his figure could possibly look like underneath. Shaking the thought from your head, you couldn’t deny that you were still curious but appalled by your thoughts.

Easing out the back towards the pump you prayed quietly hoping it would work. A few pumps and you could hear the pipes underneath gurgle and groan before muddy water spurted out from the spout. A few more pumps and the water began to run clear. You could have leapt for joy before you remembered the situation you were in. Rinsing the bowl as best as you could you filled it up with cool clear water. Taking a sip from the spout you went back inside. Michael still laid deathly still even when the door got away from you and slammed closed. You jumped sloshing a little water on the floor. You had to take a few moments to calm your heart and breathing before stepping towards the bedside and placing your supplies on the table that stood beside the bed. 

While there wasn’t any electricity you were grateful that whatever moon that shown in through the window was glowing right where you needed to work. But now you needed to find some cloth, one big enough to make cleaning rags and bandages. It was time to explore a little more, you just hoped your patient would hang on to life. Though he did seem really tough, he hauled you through the woods while bleeding profusely. A linen closet was next to the bathroom and fortunately whoever had owned this little shed left some sheets and a couple blankets. Taking one of the sheets in the middle of the stack you shook what little dust and debris stuck to the cloth. Now the hardest part, stripping your patient.

 You thought for a few seconds before deciding to start with the mask, it would be the easiest part. So carefully and gently you peeled the plastic that hid the face of the man who caused so much pain off. You sucked in a breath at the sight before you. Curly cinnamon brown hair framed a sharp chin and chiseled cheek bones. A scar ran across his right eye though you couldn’t tell how deep the damage went as his eyes stayed closed in his state of unconsciousness. Could he see out of it? And how did the scar make him more attractive? You shook your head violently, he was bleeding out and here you were drooling over his face. He’s a killer a murderer. Now that you could see the cuts needing cleaned on his face it was time to see the extent of the damage under the clothes he was wearing.

“Please be wearing underwear,” you moaned. You tried leaning over to tug one side off after you had unbuttoned his coveralls, but he was too heavy and it was hard for you to reach. So the only way you could see of getting the much needed angle to undress him you clamored on top and straddled his waist. You were so thankful he was out cold, cause you were beyond embarrassed anyway without him knowing the predicament you put both of yourselves in. If he knew, you would probably beg to be stabbed to end your misery. While you held his bare chest to your body you stripped him down, thankfully your prayers were once again answered as Michael was wearing underwear. But his body was so beat up and wounded you didn’t know where to even begin. The bullet wounds were definitely needing the most work so you tackled them first. Luckily for him the bullets had gone straight clean through. The officers must have been using round nose bullets and they left little damage compared to other types of bullets. Michael also got away with no broken bones from said bullets. So all they needed was for you to stop the bleeding and clean them profusely. Despite the holes in his shoulder and waist you found no more gunshot wounds. 

After cleaning them well with soap and water you wrapped them tightly in the makeshift bandages before going back outside to pour the dirty water out of the bowl and replace it with fresh. Now with clean water you went back to work cleaning the lesser wounds that marred his chest, abs, arms, nose, and cheek. You stroked his hair once you were done before the adrenaline that had rushed through your veins hours before disappeared and you collapsed on the floor. Without the rush your body was freezing and you didn’t know if you could get back up. So without getting up to grab the extra blankets down the little hallway you fainted from exhaustion.

Night creatures stalked the depths of darkness surrounding the shed, smelling fresh blood on the wind. You were still passed out cold when Michael raised stiffly from the bed he was laid upon. He looked around the room testing sore muscles that he didn’t think could get sore. His gaping wounds tugged causing blood to mar his bandages. He glanced around the small room to find you laying on the cold wooden floor, shivering viciously at the dropping temperatures of October. He looked at you tilting his head like a curious dog. Though something felt off, he felt his face finding his mask gone. A rage gripped him knowing that you had removed his one thing that he needed so critically. But quickly that rage eased as he begin to think of all that you had done to protect and care for him. He slowly got up careful not to wake you as he went to the same linen closet you had found the things to bind his wounds. He grabbed another sheet and one of the blankets. You didn’t even budge as he draped the blankets over you, but your shivering did calm a little. He stared, completely in awe of you and the type of person you could possibly be that would take care of someone like him.

 Minutes passed as he watched you sleep, still enraptured just by you before he went back to lay down. He looked at you once more before going back to scoop you up and place you on the bed that he had been occupying not too long ago. He watched a little longer silently curious before slipping in next to you. The threadbare blankets couldn’t do enough to battle the cool autumn air as he used his remaining body heat to keep you warm.

Morning rays of sunlight slipped through where the moon had been waking you from your slumber. Your eyes creaked open before panic gripped you. The unfamiliar place frightening you before the memories of last night rushed back in causing panic to turn into full fledged fear. You couldn’t see Michael at first before you spotted him sitting close. He was sitting in a chair backwards his coveralls back on and the mask he wore the majority of the time haphazardly placed on the top of his head. Some of his bandages had loosened a little and you sighed.

“Good morning,” you asked more than said. Once more no answer as he tilted his head once more.

You sighed trying to get your stiff body out of the worn out bed, “Can you say anything?”

He just stared harder causing you to a suck in a breath at the sight of his eyes. A deep brown like a pool of warm melted milk chocolate stared deep into yours while a sightless icy blue eye set in his right socket chilled you to the bone. Though while others my find the difference scary you couldn’t help but think how gorgeous the mismatched eyes were. Before you realized you were leaning over into his face to get a better look causing him to lean back as far as he could without falling from the wooden kitchen chair.

“Sorry,” you apologized sheepishly backing up. He sat back upright curiosity blazing in the brown depths of his one good eye.

“You have really pretty eyes,” you complimented. He pulled his mask down but you saw the blush that dusted his cheeks that he was trying to hide. He raised up abruptly causing you to stumble. You just knew you were going to fall again for the third time in so many hours but he moved quicker grasping your arm and righting you back. Before you could enjoy the contact any further he released you before going towards the door.

“Hey! Where are you going,” you asked suddenly panicked at the thought that he would abandon you here alone. Of course once again he didn’t speak vocally. He pointed to the mouth of his mask indicating food and now it was your turn to blush.

“Oh, okay,” you spoke as your stomach grumbled to the thought of food. Michael left leaving you alone in a creepy abandoned shed with nothing to do. So you just sat back down on the chair he had just deserted to count the seconds that went by until he came back. You had just counted to 1,800 seconds when Michael finally returned. He had two rabbits in tow danging from his large hands. You didn’t know how he had caught them and you didn’t really care as your hunger was now ravaging. Without a word between you he dropped a rabbit, still warm, in your hands before removing his mask so he could eat. Without cleaning or cooking his bounty, Michael ripped meat from the carcass, blood spraying his chin and dripping onto his clothes and bandages.

“Hey! Hey! Don’t eat it like that,” you screeched taking the rabbit from him. “You’ll get sick!”

The glare that he pierced you with could have frozen the toughest man on Earth as you took away his meal.

“I’ll cook it and it’ll be much better,” you reasoned backing away out of reach before he decided he rather eat you instead. “I do need you to clean them though while I build a fire and get water to cook them in.” You went to work unable to take being stared at anymore. Michael quietly went to work doing what you said. Though he rather prefer his breakfast raw and bloody, he would take in consideration on what you wanted. With the sun shining down while you built a fire and poured water into the rusty pot you found and cleaned Michael returned with the rabbits, now skinned and gutted.

“Thank you,” you smiled taking them and placing them into the boiling water. Between the fire and the sun you were beginning to warm up from the jeans and jacket you were wearing. Stripping the top layer of your clothes to your tank top underneath you tied them around your waist as you stirred the contents in the pot.

“What I wouldn’t give for some salt,” you sighed while dreaming of spices and vegetables. Lost in thought you jolted from them as a shadow loomed over you.

  “Yes,” you asked Michael as he towered above you. The anger before gone as he looked at your body. Wrapping your arms around yourself you tried to shrink in upon yourself. His hand reached out scratched and stained, making you flinch. Once more his answer was to tilt his head causing you to ease up a little. He reached again his eyes a raging storm within. You looked at your arms and your chest seeing blossoming bruises. Michael’s rough grip from last night came back to mind, no wonder you felt so stiff. Was it possible that the man everyone feared was feeling some sort of guilt for hurting you?

“I’ll be okay,” you said. “It’s just bruises.”

  You turned away unable to take the unyielding depths of his eyes. Before too long your breakfast was done. You spooned hot broth and meat into chipped and cracked bowls. You sat next to Michael on the porch of the shed enjoying the scenery while sipping at the meager stew. While you refused to look you could still feel the stare of Michael on your body. He had never felt this way before about somebody. Sure he had killed, maimed, and ruined lives but your life was something he cared about. He knew it from the moment that he had saw you when you ran into him. He knew it when he saw you dash across the parking lot trying to get away from the coworker you despised. 

He gripped the bowl his food was in tightly causing the glass to groan before shattering in his hand spraying him with hot broth and shards of glass to stick in his palm. You jumped up before setting your food down to inspect the damage. He leaned in close breathing in your scent as you picked at tiny shards embedded in his tough skin. He fought to keep from touching you, but it was beginning to feel like a losing battle. You also were beginning to wonder if you wanted him to touch you or not. You were so confused and so was he.

 Where could this possibly go and what would happen if it became something you never thought it would be? Only time could tell as you spent time with him and to see the man underneath the accusations, the mask he hides behind, and the reasons why he did what he did. Only you could unravel it from him and he was willing to let you try. He just had to do things that he wasn’t used to and you were going to have to open yourself in a way that you never had before. New things were emerging and you both weren’t sure where it was going. But now as Michael reached out wondering what one touch could do, you found yourself leaning in. Was this the start? Would something bloom? Who could really know as he reached closer and closer. Only you and Michael could uncover that in time.

[javierpena-inatacvest]

1K Followers Celebration!!!

UM HI?!? YOU GUYS, WHAT THE FUCK?! I don't know where the hell all y'all gathered from to come listen to my ramblings, but I cannot express how grateful I am for each and every one of you- I know I've said this before, and I'll say it again, but when I first posted the first few chapters of NTL on a whim a few months ago, I truly thought nothing would ever come of it. The fact that there are so many of you who have read this story, let alone enjoy it and come back for more means more to me than you'll ever know. I love all of you so much, thanks for coming along with me on this crazy ride, because I wouldn't be here without you 😭🫶🏻💕

OKAY SAPPY MOMENT OVER, LET'S GET TO THE FUN STUFF 🤪

I thought it would be fun to celebrate 1K to do some fun asks! You guys always are giving me great ideas for things and I love your input (it's the relentless people pleaser in me) but I figured I would let y'all ask away with some fun NTL/Javi and Osita/Personal questions!!! Send me anything from this list (or anything else you can think of) and I'll answer!! I'll keep my asks open for the next few days 😎

I love all of you so so SO much, big forehead kisses and hugs to each and every one of you 🥹💕

*Answered questions/responses are linked!*

Javi and Osita

What's their favorite thing about each other?

What's the thing that annoys them the most about the other?

Their favorite places/things to do when they go on a date? (besides sex, that will get its own question(s), don't worry LOL)

Favorite outfit the other wears?

What they wear on a normal day?

What they were like as kids?

Favorite book/movie/TV show?

Javi's least favorite school related activity Osita asks him to help with?

What did they study in college/favorite subject in school growing up?

Are they morning or night people?

What they admire the most about each other?

What's their biggest insecurity?

What are their bad habits?

What are their biggest regrets?

Biggest fears for the future?

Favorite thing to do with each other?

Each other's non-sexual turn ons?

Each other's sexual turn ons?

Things that are hard nos for them during sex?

Favorite place to have sex?

Favorite position(s)?

How they can tell that they know the other is horny/wants to have sex?

Realistically, how many kids do they actually want? (I know, I know, at this rate they'd have 47 children)

They both really don't care, but do they hope that their kids are girls, boys or a mix of both?

Generally, what will they be like as parents?

You pick, ask me any question you can think of that isn't on here!

NTL Universe (Tell me yours answers or I can tell you mine!)

What's your favorite chapter?

What's your favorite drabble/one-shot?

What's your least favorite chapter/one-shot (I promise I won't be offended hahah)

Who's your favorite character?

Who's your least favorite character?

What's your favorite smut scene?

What's smut you've already seen from NTL and want more of?

What's smut you haven't seen yet that you want?

What's something you want to see happen in the future? (places they go, situations they find themselves in, etc...)

Characters you want to see more/less of?

Give a summary of the next chapter/one-shot you're working on

Ask me something about a thing that hasn't happened yet in NTL and I'll give you a spoiler for it (I'll tag it so if you don't want to see it you won't!)

Ask me something that isn't on here!

Personal Questions

What do I picture Osita looking like?

What has been my favorite part about writing NTL?

What's been my least favorite part?

Where/when do I normally write?

Madeline, how actually self indulgent is Osita?

Are there any characters that were inspired by people I know?

Does anyone in my life know I write NTL?

How would I describe my personality?

Weird fun fact about me?

Why is Javi my favorite Pedro character?

What other jobs did I consider before going into teaching?

What other things do I do for fun besides write?

I'm an open book, you can ask ya girl pretty much anything!

[berenwrites]

Stranger Things Fanfiction

So I thought I'd do a master post of all my steddie fanfic so far. It's listed in my pinned post too, but I am shameless 😜.

Chaptered:

Whole New Us: Trauma Bonded & Beyond - Steddie (COMPLETE) - ~57K wds (26 ch) - Teen (with mature options) - (also on AO3) Steve has been ignoring his own problems, he’s been busy. They’ve all been busy, preoccupied with fixing everything that was broken. Vecna has been defeated, but the Upside Down is still there, and the gates are not completely closed even though Hawkins has almost returned to normal. It’s been a couple of months and the aftereffects of Steve’s encounter with the demobats is about to come back to bite him. However, it also brings some unexpected hope.

Beyond the Battle: Action & Consequence - Steddie (COMPLETE) - PG13 - ~108K wds (46 ch) (Also on AO3) Steve hits things with a bat or gets hit depending on who you ask. He definitely does not have anything to do with the psychic stuff. That is El’s domain. However, as Vecna is defeated, the rules change.

Dreams in the Night: But Vampires Aren't an Upside Down Thing - Steddie (COMPLETE) ~18.5K wds (9 ch) - Explicit - (also on AO3) Steve has been having nightmares, seeing through the eyes of a vampire like creature in Hawkins as it hunts. He puts the dreams down to past trauma and too many horror movies at Family video. He’s checked and no one’s been hurt, so even Robin agrees. However, his world is about to be turned upside down yet again as the nightmares become far too real.

Oneshots:

Secret Lover: A Vampire Eddie Short - Steddie - ~1Kwds - Mature - (on AO3 too) Vecna is dead and gone thanks to El and the party. Not all his creations are. Eddie is one of those creations. Everyone thinks he’s dead, but Steve knows better.

In His Kiss: The Trouble With Vampire Tendencies - Steddie - ~2.5K wds - PG13 - (on AO3 too) Steve could feel Eddie’s eyes on him. It was like he could tell, even without looking that Eddie was staring at him. Every time he glanced over, Eddie looked away, but half a second too late. It was beginning to drive Steve crazy.

So Sweet: Hard to Begrudge Love - Steddie - ~400 wds - G - (on AO3 too) Tooth rotting Steddie fluff from Robin’s point of view.

Connections: Voice from the Other World - Steddie - ~2K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) Steve hears Eddie voice in his head. At first he thinks it’s guilt, but that soon changes. Now all he needs to figure out is if it’s one of Vecna’s games or something else.

So Sorry: Through No Fault of His Own - Steddie - ~1.8K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) Bad things have happened to Steve, but Eddie is there to help – only it’s not that simple.

Freaks: What the World Sees - Steddie - ~1K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) The world knows a lot about famous guitarist and singer Eddie Munson, including things about his husband, but there is so much they don’t see as well.

Summertime Love - Steddie - PG - 311wds Written for steddiemicrofic prompt: CAKE | 311 words | rated: PG | cw: none

For Love - Steddie - PG - 548wds Written for steddiemicrofic prompt: CHARM | 548 words | rated: PG | cw: none

Guardian at the Gate - Steddie - PG - 387wds (on AO3 too) SteddieMicroFic November '23 - prompt: REST | 387 words | rated: PG Wayne rushes to the hospital when he gets news of Eddie. He does not expect what he finds.

Magnificent - Steddie - G - 508wds (on AO3 too) Written for prompt: PINE | wc: 508 | G | cw: none Steve has never ever wanted to see Eddie in a coffin, but this one looks absolutely perfect...

Reborn: Facing the Unexpected - Steddie - PG - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for steddiemicrofic January prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 The final confrontation with Vecna has come and gone, they won, but Steve can only focus on one thing...

Wake-up Call: An End or a Beginning? - Steddie - PG - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for January 2024 prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 When you're dead, you're not supposed to wake up.

Strange Relationship: Of Sex and Revelations - Steddie - Explicit - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for January 2024 prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 Steve is good at sex, but there are some things he hasn't been considering. Eddie is very happy to open his eyes.

Caring: Now It's Your Turn - Steddie - G - 593wds (also on AO3) Written for @steddielovemonth 2024 day 1 Steve has been looking after everyone, now it's his turn.

Still Oneshots - New list because Tumblr complained ;)

Revelation: A Heart-Stopping Reality - Steddie - G - 1396wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 3 Steve is just sitting by the pool watching his friends have fun when he comes to a stunning conclusion.

A Small Thing: The Truth Hurts - Steddie - T - 956wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 4. Eddie wants to know everything about Steve, and Steve has a confession to make.

Falling: Who Will Catch Me? - Steddie - PG - 509wds (also on AO3) Written for Feb prompt: EDGE | wc: 509 | PG | cw: PTSD, mentions of torture It's all over and Steve has nothing left to keep the horror at bay.

See Me: In the Silence - Steddie - G - 309wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 5 Steve always see what Eddie needs.

Quiet: But Far From Idle - Steddie - G - 627wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 6. Eddie loves when both he and Steve are in the zone.

Arms of Love: Whatever You Need - Steddie - G - 678wds (also on AO3) Written for @steddielovemonth day 8. It's July, Steve is having trouble sleeping, Eddie helps.

Closure: Rifts & Reactions - Steddie - G - 836wds - (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 12 The final battle is over, it's time to look forward.

Late Again?: Love Is Too Compelling! - Steddie - PG - 980wds - (also on AO3 soon) Written for steddielovemonth day 14. Eddie doesn't want Steve to go to work, so is trying to convince him to quit.

Always and Forever: Love Finds a Way - Steddie - G - 1237wds - (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 29. After their usual phone call while Eddie is on tour with Corroded Coffin, Steve is worried.

[leenfiend]

welcome to my VFX industry take down post so u can all understand the inner workings of the VFX world a little better  So, big studios actually pay their employees really competitive rates for VFX work, which is why there’s almost never any talk of actually forming a union. The most densely packed places of work are all filled with people who have (kind of) job security and (usually) benefits. The mistreatment comes when those big studios outsource their work to smaller companies and those small companies pay their workers half of what they should be paid, and then the studios pay those small companies half of what they should be paid. And the reason stuff looks so bad now isn’t even because they’re overworking and underpaying us, it’s because their cutting timelines in half. All of us just kind of have to shrug our shoulders and hand the work over because there’s nothing we can do, and it is genuinely frustrating. But that’s not really something a union can fix, we can’t ask them to not make us redo work ten times if they’re paying us the correct rate for it. And that’s what’s happening now - they’re paying us the correct rate (usually) and in my experience I have always been paid for any overtime hours I am asked to work, it’s just that the art directors have an innate misunderstanding of VFX timelines and turnarounds and so things end up looking bad.  The things a union COULD genuinely help with are things like job consistency - most of us work on contracts that start and end when a production does, which means we have no health insurance when the job ends. It creates a really annoying cycle of getting on a new plan, paying out of pocket again, potentially not having insurance offered for the next contract, etc. Working contracts also means sometimes studios will ask you to hold on your next job because they want you back in a month when there’s more work, but they won’t offer to pay you for that month so instead you have to look for a new job. If holding rates were a unionized and normalized thing within the industry it would create better financial consistency for all of us. It could also help with starting rates - I was paid significantly less out of college than my male counterparts were (shock) because there is no standard. A lot of us just have to be candid with each other about how much we’re making so we know we’re not being underpaid for our skillsets. And it could also help with the exploitation of smaller studio workers. I have been on both ends - the small studio being outsourced and the big studio that is doing the outsourcing. The rates for those two jobs are significantly different in a way that they shouldn’t be, because I’m literally doing the same work. But big studios want the cheaper option and so will go to small studios full of recent college graduates and pay them half of what they’re worth - which also, as it turns out, effects the jobs of the people at the big studios! There are a lot of jobs that aren’t kept in house because they would rather underpay someone who doesn’t work for them on a short contract - which means less communication down the line about artistic choices, as well as less work for the actual in house VFX artists. So most of what is actually wrong with the way the industry functions is a long list of management issues. I can’t even tell you the number of times me and my coworkers have been so frustrated that we have no idea what notes an art director gave for a set because it happened months ago at a different studio, on a different call, with a different set of people. We need studios to start utilizing the entirety of their VFX teams for the beginning to the end of the process if we want better looking VFX instead of splitting it up piece-meal to a dozen different studios who will never be able to communicate with each other.    

[numbermislocated]

Fionna and Cake episode ranking

First tangent post

Simon Petrikov - I love this episode, absolute favorite of the 4 so far. The song drives me mad and so so sad, and just Finn showing up, hall of egress reference (my favorite adventure time episode, yeah its basic and popular) his coping mechanism clearly not matching what Simon really needs just UGH, fantastic

Prismo the Wishmaster - the start was a shocker yet such a good introduction to the main antagonist, he feels like such an adventure time villain, serious but not too serious. Everyone still bashing Simon for his sorrow of losing Betty and not being Ice King is kinda annoying (same with Fionna and Cake being surprisingly rude to him about being sad and his life in general)

Cake the Cat - I love seeing Ooo again, specifically more outside of it like usual than just the Candy kingdom and the human settlement, the forest kingdom (I am guessing) is so nice to look at, something to gnaw on was also a funny song and it being just like how a real cat would act made me laugh. The little hints of stuff too like Cake turning a hotdog knight into a normal hotdog was interesting

Fionna Campbell - Sadly in fourth is this episode, just don't like it as much as the others in comparison but that does not make it bad at all, I love all the human designs, I love all the references, I adore Cake's reactions, overall a really fun and exciting episode (since its the 1st) I think my favorite designs though were human (possibly) Fern, and Marshall. Marshall just has my heart for how he is, I cannot WAITT to come back to this universe and see him and Gary being cutie patooties

closing thoughts, love this series, I might make more post about my feelings, do reranks, or just average ratings where I score em (first pair is 20/20 and second pair is 19.5/20). I've never posted something this long and idk how Tumblr receives these but I hope it was good and I really want to talk about Adventure time or this series so much more with people

[writingseaslugs]

I'm alive...kinda?

So it's been a while huh? Since the end of March actually, since I last posted anything. Which sucks because it was literally right after I was super excited to do a collab with a friend, as well as my plans for getting content out! So what happened you may ask (and I'm referring to the lovely people who are in my inbox asking and being concerned, I'm so sorry for worrying ya). Well, let me tell you!

Health.

Sucks.

So here's a quick TW because I'm going to go into detail about everything that's happened since the last time I was here under the cut. This includes both issues with eating (involuntary), as well as surgical stuff. There will also be a TL;DR at the end of this post.

So as I've mentioned previously (I think) I have chronic nausea. I'm almost always feeling sick after I eat therefore I don't really...eat much. Especially not when I'm working because I can't afford to be sick and have to go home (my job requires me to be on my feet, interacting with clients all day and I woke 9-hour shifts). So because I'm unable to get enough nutrients (normally I won't even eat until I get home from work, and if I do it's protein drinks and pudding during my work day), I'm pretty...weak most of the time.

Let me tell you, eating is so important to function like a human. If you don't you are tired, your muscles hurt, and there are so many other horrible things that go into it that I won't go into detail about.

My biggest problem with not being able to eat enough is fatigue. I am always tired and in a brain fog that writing is impossible. If I can even get the energy to open up my laptop and bring it to my bed, it's typically dashed the moment I open a Word document and can barely type.

I had maybe a solid good week or two a month back right after I went on vacation to see a friend (probably because I was able to eat regularly-ish due to not having to worry about being sick at work) however, like always, it was quickly squashed with reality and I went back to brain fog central, but I feel like it was worse this time.

I only had the energy to talk with three of my closest friends, and occasionally I'd have the brain capacity and energy to play games with one of them, but that's about it. I can't tell you how many times I had to cancel my weekly call with one of my friends from being too tired or putting off playing a game with my other because I just didn't have the energy to cross my room and pick up my controller. It was bad.

Most of my days off have been in bed, sleeping, and trying to eat. So it hasn't been great.

However, two weeks ago something happened. I had stomach pain. Which granted, I have had before. Not the normal nausea but physical pain that if you pressed on my stomach it hurt. I was even walking with a limb by the end of the day. It doesn't happen often but I'm stubborn and don't like going to the hospitals so I had always chalked it up to a "self-correcting problem". For years. Whenever this happened it would go away within a few hours (nine hours max).

So when I woke up the NEXT day and it was still hurting, something was a bit wrong. I called out of work because there was no way I would've been able to stand and made a small deal with myself that if it wasn't gone by the next morning I would...go to the doctor. I know, crazy that I was gonna wait to be in pain for nearly three days but I hate hospitals and I didn't have health insurance with my new job.

Well, this wasn't good enough for my mom and she convinced me to go. The only way she did that was she seemed concerned. Now I'm dramatic. Very, very dramatic. And also a bit of a hypochondriac so I always feel like when I'm sick or in pain I'm simply being dramatic and that it's not actually serious even though my anxiety is telling me I might literally be dying (the number of times I have almost passed out by standing up and brushed it off, or laid in bed and suddenly my heart rate was going off like I sprinted a mile and decided I was probably fine is impeccable).

So I go to the emergency room and they ran some tests and what would you know! It's my appendix. And it wanted to break up with me...how admirable. And apparently, it was way worse than doctors initially thought because I happen to have an abnormally high pain tolerance so when asked on a scale of 1 - 10 what my pain was I said a 3. Apparently, with how bad off it was, I should've been at a 10+ but oh well.

The surgery that they predicted would be no longer than half an hour ended up being an entire hour, and I got four incisions when they said I'd only have three.

So I've been recovering for the past two weeks and should hopefully be back at work on Thursday. Decided to make this post because for once I've been able to eat decent meals for a few days in a row since I haven't been at work, and my brain is actually working for a while. I'm hoping maybe it'll continue so I can start writing again (Writing Twisted Wonderland content is a huge comfort of mine) but who knows.

Maybe my chronic nausea will be solved and I'll be nice and healthy and be able to eat regularly. I can dream. However since I have had a lot of people in my inbox asking me where I've been and if I'm doing already, and how I've essentially ghosted several friends in the fandom since I just don't have the energy to message many people, I figured I should give you the explanation as to what happened.

I'm going to try to get a little bit of writing done today, maybe bust out a few requests. I'm a bit stressed out since one of my good friends is currently on their way to the hospital because she's also a sick bean like me, but also I know damn well she'd enjoy seeing some Twisted Writing so imma do it.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings! I love you all!

TL;DR - I got really sick and couldn't write and then my appendix said bye.

[fereldanwench]

(I feel the need to make a small disclaimer: I am going to be talking about my perceptions about the CP77 fandom culture, some of which might be critical in nature, but this is not a call-out post on an individual or community scale. This is just me sharing some personal reflections. I suspect I'm not totally alone in some of this, but as always, YMMV.

Also, pleasepleaseplease do not feel bad or guilty for reaching out to me or tagging me in stuff or whatever--It means a lot to me that folks wanna chat and connect, and normally I'm 100% down, but I just need to clear my head a bit.)

So I've been ruminating a lot over the past few weeks about my ability to maintain a certain level of activity when it comes to fandom stuff, and I've concluded that my fandom social battery is really, really low.

I'm having a hard time keeping up with DMs, I'm having a hard time keeping up with tag games, I'm having a hard time keeping up with asks, I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the awesome stuff y'all are making--I'm just burnt out socially. And normally I would just take a social media break, but I think this is coming from deeper personal issues that a week offline isn't going to fix.

I've never been in a fandom before where I felt like there was this expectation to keep up with just about every single person in the community. It might be a false expectation I'm putting on myself, but given that I've seen other people apologize for not being able to keep up with posts or apologize for not having the spoons to leave nice tags on reblogs, I don't think this is just a me problem.

The CP77 fandom is relatively small compared to many of my other fandoms, like Dragon Age or Mass Effect, which I think can make it feel like keeping up with a good chunk of the community is totally feasible. For instance, I knew I could never dream of seeing all the DA content on Tumblr, so I never even made the effort to, but I know I can probably get just about everyone who posts in the femvfriday hastag by a certain time. So I often felt like I should do that, especially if I posted in the tag that Friday, too.

But the CP77 fandom is also really active, I think in large part due to the accessibility of photomode and virtual photography. I hope it's clear that I'm not saying this to diminish the value of VP, and obviously, everyone's mileage may vary based on personal technique and other artistic experience, but from my perspective, it does in general seem to be a quicker medium than traditional art or fic. I love the creativity of this community, but I actually can't feasibly keep up with everything everyone is doing all the time.

I made sort of a similar post last fall about the self-imposed pressure of having to create new things on a regular basis. At the time, I was grappling with losing a lot of personal time and brain power after having COVID in September and then working overtime in October, and I wasn't able to make stuff at the rate I had previously. I knew it was ridiculous, I knew no one was like "omg wench didn't post today, shame on her," but there was still FOMO on my part. I also felt like I had lost something I had previously had (specifically the time and energy to create) on account of shitty circumstances, which compounded my frustration.

I've been trying to tell myself that feeling guilty for not having the energy to reply to DMs in a timely fashion or to reblog every femvfriday post is just as silly and self-imposed, and that I don't need to explain to anyone that I just don't have the energy to participate like that right now. I've always been a very strong advocate for people using Tumblr how they want, and while yes, doing things like reblogging posts is a great way to connect with other people and show appreciation to fellow creators and I do encourage people who want to be a part of a community to do these things, it should never feel like an obligation. (The commentary on this post absolutely nails it for me.)

But this guilt and anxiety are harder to shake. Even in my very early days in the CP77 fandom, I noticed that it seemed very transactional to me. And to a point that makes sense, and I think is at least somewhat the result of Tumblr's functionality: you are going to be more likely to notice people who notice you and by extension to support people who support you. I don't think it's inherently a bad thing, but I think it can become one if there's no deeper connection after a certain point, especially if people start to feel like there's an imbalance in the transaction.

The gossipy nature of this fandom can make that even worse--It can be pretty easy to notice a drop-off in activity from someone who might have previously been very supportive and then spiral from "it's just because they're busy, it's fine" to "they're not interacting with me anymore because they heard something bad about me and now they hate me." (I've been on both sides of that one.) There are also a lot of assumptions about cliques and friendships and who's interacting with whom because of fandom politics or whatever that add another layer of stress and confusion here.

So for the past few weeks, every time I go to reblog a post or reply to a comment or consider who to tag after doing a tag game, all of this is weighing on me. Even if it's stupid, even if it's self-imposed, this is what is on my mind.

And what that's been resulting in is largely just not wanting to interact at all. Sometimes it would even make me feel guilty about posting my own stuff if I hadn't interacted with anyone else's in a while, as if I need to support other people in order to earn the privilege to share my own work. And this is of course reflective of much deeper issues I have (read: eldest daughter syndrome) than just fandom nonsense--I'm not putting this one on fandom at all--But it's a thing I deal with.

At some point in the past six month or so, I really lost sight of what this blog is really for, and that's for me. I do generally like interacting with the fandom at large, and I like organizing things and sharing resources that I think can be helpful for folks (especially since I really struggled with how much knowledge was locked behind Discord servers), but my blog is not actually a space for the CP77 community. It is for me, first and foremost, and I need to make it for me again.

I don't know exactly what that's gonna look like. I still consider CP77 my main fandom, and I don't really have much inclination to create or engage in other fictional worlds right now so it might not really look that much different. And I'm hoping that by removing some of this stress, it'll actually recharge my social battery so I can be better at doing the fun stuff like chatting about OCs and shippy stuff with friends.

But my activity here will probably be a lot more erratic as I reclaim this as a happy space for myself.

So that's it. And as always, if you read all of my personal problems, thank you, lmao. I know I'm ridiculous, and it's not that serious, and blah blah blah but THIS IS HOW I WORK THROUGH SHIT OKAY thx

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Rooster Teeth Needs To Be Saved (There Needs To Be Ideas For It) Part 1

[Note: This Is For Mature Audience Readers Only, so No Kids Allowed To Read This...mostly those who are under the Ages of 16 or 19 or older. also if it is true that some Karens think that all cartoons are for children, they need to wake up and know that isn't 100% true because some cartoons and video games are for a older mature audience, and the ratings can be 18+ for a freaking reason, and yeah, it could be good idea to have the rating for Yandere Simulator be 18+, like it still has it's normal mature stuff that it always has, and also that censoring options in it, which is good. but yeah there is a good reason I want that game to be 18+, to keep some from playing it until they are the right age to do so. so a certain incident doesn't happen again, to which I'm still gonna view that both parties are at fault...also this will get a bit off topic, like a whole lot....which is why in this it has the whole if you want to skip some of it, keep a look out for the bold words. ]

[Edited 3/16/2024 Note: I notice some slight mistakes, like some words I forgot to put down when typing all this....of course I didn't fix it until well now, when I log back in. of course when I did log off, I did end up going to sleep for some hours, then I woke up and at some point I log back on, before I do any posting, I'm gonna fix and edit this and another post that I notice while looking through it, that it also has a misspelling....so yeah, if it turns out this still has some mistakes, I will try to fix it if I'm able to spot them.]

so yeah, first of all, it's okay to reblog this, so those who are fans of the shows from Rooster Teeth, like Red Vs Blue, Camp Camp, RWBY and all other shows on there, ya have my full my permission to reblog this and don't need to ask.

cause well, it might be a good idea to reblog this and I will try to keep this not so long. of course after this, I will need to edit some of my posts cause I notice I had mistakenly put the wrong word when describing what happens with that modern radio, like it only happens once in a while, and yeah when I get my fingers close to it (when I have it switched on by the way) it has a perfect signal, but when I take it away it ends up with a poor signal and when I put my fingers and hand close to it, like as if I'm going to touch it but don't, the signal becomes more okay again....still freaky, but I'm okay with it.

(I will get to the whole discussion about Rooster Teeth after I say all what I need to say....even if it might take a bit longer than I intended to be....but if you wish to skip some parts, please keep a eye out for the bold words.)

and it does seem it will happen in vie-versa, still reminds me of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, but at least it isn't 100% the same as his powers. I mean, I love sweets but I know at times I don't want to eat something sweet and may want something else.

and of course there is that whole freaky thing that happen after using the pendulum possibly a bit too much, which once again I think it may have unlocked something. and I am using my gem bracelets for multi-purposes, one of them being to protect me from harm energies, but of course because of the three close calls when I was sleeping, I have to have to keep my dream-catchers up at all times.

the third close call shouldn't of happen anyway, but it did, and it might be because one of the new dream-catchers had some REALLY bad energy in it, which is why I had to take it down and remove it from my room and put it in a zip-lock bag and throw some salt in the said bag and put as far away from my room as possible. it's still in the house but it just is just not in the same room as me.

and yeah as weird as it might be, I did pray with the salt in my hands and then put in that zip-lock bag that has that dream-catcher in it.

I have a new dream-catcher now, one that seems to be more safer, of course the other dream-catcher (not the one that is in the zip-lock bag.) is safely outside and hanging on my door, and I think the reason it let that bad energy through, was possibly because the dream-catcher in the zip-lock bag had open up the protective barrier that I prayed for to be placed around the room as well on the door as well as the windows and all the parts in the said room, it is the only logical reason why the third close call happen even when that bad dream-catcher was suppose to keep that bad energy out...

and yeah, it has to do with Toxic-Lust Energy, the first time wasn't so bad because I became self-aware to realize what was going on, even when I was still in a hallway in the dream, which was still possibly dream-walking, and it is possible who I saw in that first dream as well as the other two dreams, was a type of clone type doppelganger that was possibly made from the original's toxic-lust energy, while the original would never do any form of harm but the toxic-lust energy manifestation would have no problem with that.

and yeah in the second close call, I had to run for it and tried to look for someone I trust in the said dream, which happen to be my Mom.

even though I can't really tell her that I'm the type of Nonbinary-Gal who by the way goes by both She/Her & They/Them, and there is that whole me being Aroaceflux as well as being Fictoromantic.

but I also think I maybe a type of Gray, I'm pretty sure I had found out about that before, so it could be possible I might be a type of Gray-Aromantic but still a type of flux, like I'm still interested in reading and even watching movies and shows with romance in it, as well as playing video games that gives you the choice to romance the love interests, like in Mass Effect, and I want to try not to romance Kaiden or Ashley by accident, cause if my goal is to romance a non-human, like Garrus Vakarian, then I'm going to try to stick to that plan if I decide to choose him, of course ya can't romance him in the first game and will have to wait until it gets to Mass Effect 2.

and yeah, even before I figured out that certain lust energies could of been the reason I fell for the wrong type of online boyfriends which by the way I have no interest in trying to get one at the moment, cause I rather have a crush on a fictional husbando character than try to pursue any form of relationship with someone who might understand that I do NOT want to be touched at times, and if ya think about it, it could be possible that I wasn't fully myself when falling for my now ex-boyfriends, it might be a mix of my body having absorbed some energies it shouldn't, even if half the time the energies that did get absorbed ended up giving me a seizure, which I had figured out some energies had been doing that when I lived in two other towns before moving to the one we live at now, which seems to be more energy safe, cause I haven't had a seizure since moving to the town we currently live in, of course we had to move from one building to another in 2015....and that whole first depression wasn't fun and made me loose a lot of weight, because I didn't eat very much, well the second depression wasn't fun either and may have felt a bit more worse and may have started around in 2016.....and I rather not fall into that not so great feeling again, thank you very much....I'm fine with just feeling a little down at times now, like I wouldn't say I love it.

it's just it's more tolerable than those last two depressions, but I can still get extremely sad like how I felt yesterday, at least I think it was yesterday.....which of course has to do with a video I watched that has to do with Rooster Teeth...and I will get to that discussion after this....

anyway like I said, in that second close call dream, I had to run, and for some reason there was a old man outside and I can't remember what he looked like, but I believe he was one of the figures that was protecting me. the other being a woman with long snow white hair and pale skin, I didn't see her face though.

it might of been during that time, I had decided to have one of my dream-catchers hang outside my door, to protect me.

and then comes the third close call dream, which happen when that other dream-catcher was still up but now is in a zip-lock bag with salt in the bag with it....it might be possible the reason why that third close call happen, was because the dream-catcher (that is now in a zip-lock bag with salt) had some bad energy, and whoever used it before may have not purified it from any dangerous energies.

I don't want to fully talk about that third close call dream at this moment, but I know I had talked about what happen before, but like I said it was a close call, a third close call type...

also it could be possible there are others like me, who had to figure out that certain feelings that were felt before, wasn't really fully their own and it was because some are giving off too much toxic-lust energy, I'm not even sure if the whole wearing gem bracelets will work for everyone who wants to protect themselves from not just the toxic-lust energy but also other type of toxic and really bad energies, some of which are supernatural or from people who give off way too much of it and it ends up flying around the room until it gets to you and then absorbs into your body like the sunlight to a flower.

even though your not physically touched, the energy still finds a way to get to you and depending on the dangerous levels of it, you could have a seizure. not all seizures are the same, and some of them don't have to do with the accidental energy absorption.

also besides the whole suspecting I may be a type of Gray-Aromantic.

I also had started to suspect that I may have been Demiromantic, like even if my falling for the wrong type of guys may have also have to do with some energy I didn't know I was absorbing. but my feelings also could of been still real, and it could be possible during those times when I talked with them and got close to them even not really seeing their face (don't really remember about all the stuff we talked about, I only remember very little about it, and some stuff I do remember, is that one of my ex-boyfriends made me feel uncomfortable even if I tried to put up with it but they seem a bit too obsessed with a certain thing, and not in a type of normal obsessed....but I guess I never really told him that the way he talked about it, made me really uncomfortable, it could be possible I didn't even fully realize it had made me feel uncomfortable until I started to think back on it.)

I may have been Demiromantic when I fell for the guys I fell for before, and yeah I have no interest in trying to get a boyfriend at this moment, not unless they respect my space, don't touch me when I don't want to be touched, and they will need to understand that hugging me from behind is out of the question, if I'm not aware of them standing behind me and they do that, they will likely startle me like a deer....and yeah apparently my spirit animal companion is the deer, I had looked it up before. though it could be possible that I and others could have other type of animals as well...

of course the whole deer thing, once again reminds me of Alastor.

it might been around last year I think when I was hugged from behind, I didn't much like it, but it's okay now, it was family but they know not to do that kind of surprise hug again, I'm okay with hugs when I give them and well also if someone does want a hug and well I can choose to give them one.....but what happen before, and I didn't know anyone was behind me, and yeah it was my Mom who did that, but still, it had startled me...

also even if I'm not sure if the whole gems will work for everyone who may have figured out that, some energies from others and even a place might be the reason they feel things that aren't fully their own, or like if the place like a town is full of very VERY bad high levels of bad energy and ya always seem to have seizures, and you do move to a new town, but certain parts of the places are safe but other parts still end up causing you to have seizures....then yeah, it could probably be safer to move to a whole new town far away where it has a much safer energy feel, well that or get some gems that are suppose to protect ya from the dangerous energies from both people and a place.....but again, I'm not 100% sure if that would work for everyone.

anyway to get back to the whole Rooster Teeth Discussion, a video I had watched that proves that the post I saw before has some form of truth, and not just some form of misunderstanding.

I felt so, not great after watching the video....it was like a overwhelming sadness, and yeah I had to go lay down and sleep it off.

of course when I woke up, it had apparently started to rain as well as sound a bit windy and thunderstorm a bit.....that is just a weird coincidence.

but anyway, there has to be some way to save Rooster Teeth, I mean yeah they should make sure to take days off, not just a few days, but actual vacation times that involves restoring energies, and if they have to, they could take turns, like those who can still work can do so while those who are suppose to take time off will need to take some months off, and yeah coming back early because they felt way better can be optional I guess. not sure if they have that type of thing going on.

but I want to say just because Warner Brothers helped at some point, don't mean they are the parents of the shows that were born from Rooster Teeth, even RWBY is Rooster Teeth's child, well more like Co-Parent then Adoptive Full Parent after what happen to RWBY's Other Parent that was Monty Oum....and I had founded out that Dragon Ball Series's Creator/Parent Akira Toriyama had died, I ended up watching another video that had talked about that, and in one of those videos there were some jerks that were bad mouthing about him, but also those who were doing that, were being told off by others who knew it was disrespectful to bad mouth him.....

if a creator of a something that brings joy to others around the world, even with the sadness that goes on, ends up dying and at times way too soon before it is their actual time.

of course fans who loved them and their work, will get peeved at those who wrongly disrespect them.

Warner Brothers wouldn't really be a parent to Rooster Teeth's Shows, they would be more like a Uncle/Aunt...

Steel Wool Studios had became a Adoptive Parent to FNAF, because Scott Cawthon TRUSTS them, and that trust is real, because they did their best when helping make the FNAF Security Breach and even the Ruin DLC, which I really hope that DLC comes to the Xbox One soon....cause I want to play that DLC as soon as possible.

also while playing one of my versions of FNAF-SB, I have a PS4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch versions....the Nintendo Switch version still has it's stickers, which at some point I will use.

anyway while playing a new save on the nintendo switch version, I had a new FNAF theory pop into my head, which I will talk about after this...but not before I do some editing in some posts that came before this one.

anyway, it could be possible that Warner Brothers, as great as they can be, should have some form of improvement, one of them being that they can't just do whatever the heck they want just because they had been around much longer than most companies that have only been around for some years but not as long as them.

it could still be possible that Warner Brothers and Rooster Teeth can still have a type of partnership, but there should be some form of respect and not have Rooster Teeth just give up, with how the world got, no thanks to the fragging Covid-19, and I'm seriously fragging tired of the bull frag slag that the Angel Boys are up to that has to do with them being influence by the Toxic-Masculine energy.

Toxic-Feminine energy is still a problem as well, but it hasn't been around as long as it's counterpart that has been around for freaking centuries even around the whole time when The Goddess was wrongly dethroned, and yeah, once again I believe in her now, as well as still believing in God as well, so I can still believe in both Divine Parents.

so excuse me if this Earth Angel Princess doesn't want to put up with some Toxic-Masculine Angels that may cross a line, even if there are still some Angels I can still trust, but still gonna have a bit of trust issues with some of them.

and like the song that Marceline Abadeer sings (from Adventure Time) that is about Princess Bubblegum

"I finally woke up." and as well as the whole "being tired of your candy kingdom." I might need to listen to that song again sometime.

but yeah, hope some can understand.

and yeah as it is weird, like a part of the song that Vaggie and Carmilla sings in one of the episodes of Hazbin Hotel.

I kind of want to be Earth's Armor, well Vaggie is obviously talking about being Charlie's Armor...

and well, it be nice if other Earth Angels woke up the truth, there is like something seriously wrong with the Masculine energy, even if some parts of it is still good, but it hadn't been properly tended to for so long, and for all I know it getting the way it did may have to do with the Annunaki from those Ancient times.

and as weird as it might be, ya know the song "All About Us" by T.A.T.U. (or just called TATU....)

like some parts of the lyrics make me think about well,

like if they (The ones who are full of too much Toxic-Masculine energy) hurt you (and the "you" being both the Goddess/Earthly-Mother. and The Feminine Energy), they hurt me too ("me" as in well not just me but other Earth Angels as well as possibly Other Humans who may not be Earth Angels...)

there needs to be a way to heal and detoxify that Toxic-Masculine energy....of course all the song of "All About Us" might not fully match what I'm describing, but for some reason those lyrics "if they hurt you, they hurt me too." and maybe the parts that has to do with "rising up." which by the way not making the same mistakes as some Eon-Boomers did, we should at least use form of healing and protective barrier to stop the Toxic-Masculine energy from getting through, we can take baby steps with the Toxic-Feminine though, cause it isn't as high in the hazard dangerous levels as the Toxic-Masculine one.

anyway back to the whole Rooster Teeth and Warner Brothers, Rooster Teeth might have some problems but that doesn't mean they should just give up, instead they can just take a long break but also make plans on how to improve things, making sure that they don't get too overwhelmed, which can be helped by them making sure to take a lot of time off.

I may not know a lot of whats going on, but I hope they don't think that fans have stop caring, that is far from the truth.

fans can still care, it's just they can still have stuff that goes on with them, and when they can still be fans of the shows that is by Rooster Teeth. and yeah, if that whole Covid-19 hadn't happen some stuff that is going on wouldn't be as bad and even if there is still some good stuff that goes on, it still doesn't change the fact that it could be possibly that the Toxic-Masculine energy had something to do with what happen, even if not everyone has to agree, but I'm still gonna view that the Toxic-Masculine energy did play a part in that Covid-19 mess...

also if another company becomes a type of Co-Parent, even to something they didn't originally create, they can't just do whatever the frag they want and think everyone else will be okay with it.

and yeah there was that whole worry for the Hazbin Hotel, but seems everything is fine, so maybe it will keep being okay and the now Co-Parents that being Vivienne Medrano/Vivziepop The Original Creator (with her Team who originally worked on the shows Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss) and The Other Party, can keep things fair.

well at least she gets her name on the show's title so that is extremely good.

I guess some fans of different shows that have been shown by different companies, got use to expecting some bad news stuff.

I mean seriously, Wander Over Yonder had deserved it's true final season but that was basically cancelled, it wasn't okay that despite trying to do that whole petition, the fans still lost.

and the reason why we lost that, might have to do with the possibility that someone messed with it and caused us to lose that fight.

even though I still like the Ducktales Reboot, the actions of some of the characters that were suppose to be the good guys, was disappointing.

Scourge should of been the bigger person, and did some form of kindness by helping Magica with her brother, but he didn't.

he chose to steal those coins from her and her brother's throne room, and Louie thinks that Scourge became better because of his rivals, which might be true, but that still doesn't excuse him for hurting Magica and making her worse than she was already.

plus there could be a reason why her brother and herself ended up they way they were, like not everything as it appears.

another thing that bothers me is that Scourge couldn't be a bit more empathic to Bradford Buzzard, I mean his Grandmother is basically the reason he developed some kind of Post Traumatic Disorder.

if anything, Bradford's Grandmother was the True Villain.

Magica may had been hinting that she knew that Bradford wasn't a villain, and he was the way he is because of his Grandmother, who by the way, should get a punch to her stupid face.

and the reason why the sword made him transform like that, wasn't because he was evil. it was likely because he was hurt, REALLY badly hurt, both emotionally and psychologically.

so Mrs Bentina Beakley was wrong, the sword had transformed him but it wasn't because of what she had mentioned.

and yeah as Crossover Fanon Timelines go, if Bradford met Pink-Pearl as well as Spinel, they might get along very well.

even Locus from Red Vs Blue was able to change and become a better person, and he could still had some very bad trauma from his past that made him become a monster, but it took him time to get better. he wasn't born a monster, no one truly is.

and I don't think Cain was either, he became the way he was, possibly because of Adam and Eve's poor parenting which could make them turn out to be Gray-Parents. and they couldn't see that Cain need the proper help, both being a parent's love as well as emotional support.

even if Abel may have still had a good heart, but that doesn't mean he isn't still responsible for taking part in the breaking point.

and yeah Abel may wanted to have some kind of revenge, but he really has no room to talk, seeing as what he does to the fluffy babies.

I mean it is one thing to have them as emotional support, like being animal companions/pets, an yeah some animals still play a part in the food chain, and some being used for clothes.

but yeah, if Abel's offerings was what it was back then...

then Cain wasn't the only one to hurt someone like the way he did.

so both of them are still at fault, but if Abel thinks he can just think of himself as more innocent than Cain, then he is so freaking wrong.

and if had some kind of immortal life, and if he so much as touched my fluffy baby which is my second cat, and had plans to hurt them...

I will not hold back my wrath upon him, and if I had to. I will try my best to fight him back, by getting him on his stomach and sitting on his back while holding his arms behind him and wait until someone helps, so he can be tied up until he is taken to some kind of correction place, where he isn't allowed to touch or see a animal.

there can be ways to stop him, that doesn't have to be a certain LOVE, as in Level Of Violence. and yes I reference Undertale.

I might technically be Cain's Granddaughter, well Nonbinary Granddaughter and there being a lot of Greats in there...

and yeah, Seth is technically my Ancestor as well.

if some info is correct, Cain may be my 117th Great-Grandpa, on my Mom's Dad who is also my Grandpa, own side of the family.

which means that Adam is a 118th Grandpa, well he is that way because of Seth....but also whoever is Cain's Bio-Dad, they are technically gonna be 118th Grandpa, and they may NEVER live that down.

anyway with that aside, I'm going to break this into two parts, or three if I feel it needs it.

I really hope that Rooster Teeth can bounce back from whats going on. there has to be a good way to keep that not great stuff from happening, and save that legacy, I mean there has to be some kind of hope right...?

at least the new season of Camp Camp looks great, also something tells me that Neil doesn't know about the "meaning" and "symbolism" to which he was showing off, but if some had read about it and learned about the meaning, then some might understand where I'm going at if they had seen that new episode of the new season.

I ain't gonna be the one to tell Neil, I know it's not really possible for me to tell him.

but if they do make a episode where Max does bring it up, and he knows what it means, he can explain it to Neil, well either Max or one of the Camp Councilors, well maybe not David, because it might be possible he has no clue about it.

I'm not saying what it is, cause well I don't want to give away some spoilers right now. but some might get what I'm talking about if they seen the new episode.

and yeah did get a lot off topic in this, and yeah it did make me feel really REALLY sad after seeing the video that talked about whats going on.....I ended up going to bed because of it, but also when I woke up it was all windy, raining and some bit of thunderstorm, which by the way may could match what I was feeling...but I know it was just a very odd coincidence.

anyway when I'm able to, I will post a part 2 of this, to discuss a bit more about the whole Rooster Teeth situation, and hope that things do work out and there can be ways to save them and keep that legacy safe even if some of them should retire.

cause even when those who do retire, and may check up on how things are and help a little if they want to but still not be fully involved, only a little to maybe help at times if they wish to.

but those who stay around, will keep the dream and legacy alive, even when it's time for them to retire and give all the projects to the new people that became a part of the RT Family....yeah that might seem a bit sappy to some, but if you think about it, new people getting to work at Rooster Teeth even when at some point those who had been there the longest do retire, it still could be seen as hope and some way to make it grow even bigger, and also making sure even when it does grow bigger, those who do work at Rooster Teeth, still should make sure to take long vacations, so they can relax and rest.

anyway hope some can understand what I mean and there is no misunderstandings, but yeah.....when I'm able to, I will write a part 2 of this....and sorry that it got a bit too much off-topic, like a maybe a whole lot....but I will try not to have it be too much in the part 2 of this.

[nightfallsystem]

Nightfallsystem - Main blog. Plural System. cringe asf autistic and chronic pain haver. giant isopod enthusiast.

READ MY DNI AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!!!

IF I FOLLOW U / REBLOG FROM U RANDOMLY / ACT LIKE WE'RE MUTUALS U PROBABLY FOLLOWED/INTERACTED ON MY BLOG @qiekz OR @qiekzart

‼️hi guys if ur reading this during october 2023 plz check out @qiekzart rn im doing a thing ✨✨

Check out my etsy plzzz :333 i post adoptables !!

My name is Qiekz, my pronouns are it/its, please use my actual preferred pronouns. For your DNI purposes please know I'm 14 ^_^ also no nsfw interaction or you will fucking die!! im also learning japanese! (please send help.... im dying..... grahh.. ive gone too far to quit its kind of my curse now.)

what to expect from this blog? random shit, this is my personal blog. there may be vents and rants (tagged as #vent and #rant respectively) there may be random shit there will be so many reblogs.

i try to add ids when i can into the alt text, though i have chronic pain so sometimes im too tired to, sorry

Special interests: Giant isopods, Yugioh 💀💀

interests: TBHK, manga and anime, servals, marine animals, suicide boy (critical of it...), made in abyss, (critical of it...) , japanese language ,, ... i forgor

FEEL FREE (i encourage you to!) TAG ME IN SHIT ABOUT MY INTERESTS!!! esp yugioh im really autistic about it o my god

#autistic about this thing tag <- will be me tagging shit im really autistic about!!

not really in discourse anymore other than transgender stuff so if you try to drag me into discourse ill drag you into the pits of hell. i fucking hate syscourse so much.

If i am not speaking and another system member is, the post will be tagged as "- [name]". I tag common triggers, flashing lights and eyestrain, etc, these will be tagged as "TW [topic]". also JSYK i block a fuck ton of people so like, yeah, I block anyone for any reason I want. I will also not unblock you. unless youre liek my friend or smth.

We have so many fictives sooo,, source list: TBHK, Omori, OneShot, Wolf Song the Movie (yknow, that one on youtube.), yugioh..... </3 .. sourcemates r cool to interact n stuff feel free to send an ask im just shy...

anon hate MUST be original no lame "kys" or "[slur]". i will judge you. try better. try harder. get good. if you send anon hate i will judge it and rate it out of 10 so please try your best.

i am weirdo fictionkin heres the list: hooni from suicide boy yayy,, faputa from made in abyss ( I FUCKING HATE THE SORUCE FOR BEING SO WEIRD OMFG AHGHH),, jolteon from pokemon. . im weird and fuckd up . much prefer if u dont rlly seperate me from me in sources. cuz i just am me. sorry. ig. just refer to me as me . thank you

I am critical of all of my interests!!

or more just i hate them agh just be normal omfgggg crying sobbing

if you wanna avoid a common trigger its most likely tagged #tw [topic]. i also tag eyestrain and flashing lights but usually i just tag it as "#eyestrain" or "#flashing". tbh i unfortunately cant be trusted to remember to tag any other specific trigger because of bad memory. i wont tag reclaimed slurs but i will tag slurs used in a mean way

Please do not DM me unless you actually really need to. Send me an ask if you want to DM me and specify that you want it answered privately if you want. but i AM UNCOMFY WITH DMS. unless we're friends or i DMed you first. otherwise i place a curse on you I MUCH prefer asks over DMs

Sideblog list

@omori-addict

@oops-all-traumacore (TW TRAUMACORE)

@sunnymogai (inactive)

@hellhoundmutt (inactive)

@sunnymogai2 (inactive)

@qiekz (EYESTRAIN + FLASHING TW please block if you are affected by that please)

@qiekzart

@tsukasabrainrot

alter blog 4 tasma:

@tazmahell

@tazmaboxed

DNI:

Anti plural, pluralphobe, anti endo, sysmed, against created alters/etc, "dont believe in systems",

Proship, condone or support posting any sexual stuff that includes a child, lolicon/shotacon/etc, someone purposely meant to look like a child, cub.

LGBTQphobic, transmed, transphobe/homophobe/biphobe/panphobe/etc, 'super straight'/variants, anti-ace inclusion, anti-aro inclusion, anti a-spec inclusion, aphobes, anti mspec lesbian/gay/etc, stelliophobic, anti lesboy/turigirl/etc, anti any good faith queer identity, anti neopronouns, anti xenogender, anti mogai.

Ableist, support autism speaks, think "narc abuse" is a thing/demonise people with any disorder including NPD, infantalise people with disorders/disabilities/etc, post/support on subreddits like r/fakedisordercringe or r/systemscringe, use the term "Aspergers" / describe urself as an "aspie" (Hans Asperger was a nazi who killed many disabled people, so shut the fuck up.)

Racist, cultural appropriators.

Radqueers, trans-id/transX, transrace/trace (not adoptee term), support the term transplural, pro-contact/contact-complex/contact-neutral for harmful paraphillia, sway people away from getting help for harmful paraphillia, MAP/Pedo/zoo/necro. (also transspecies is ok if its not used in a transX way)

Fujoshi/variants. fetishize mlm/wlw, etc.

Against traumacore / vent art.

Have minors on ur DNI (no offense im just a minor lol), NSFW-Focused blog

Post stolen art (includes AI images) / trace art without consent

other stuff is im neutral on factkin or kff tbh. and i think id rather stay neutral on tulpas as a term. i just dont fucking care. i dont involve myself in syscourse anymore, i might post more endogenic positivity later but id rather not due to the rampant harassment and infighting in the system community.

[cookinguptales]

Still puttering away at this story. I was hoping to have it up by the beginning of May, but maybe by mid-May... It's gotten so long, haha. Still, I like to post stories for people on my birthday, and this would be a fun present for myself. :)

I do think I'm going to go ahead with the split free/Patreon model... I do want to make the main story available to as many people as possible, especially the people who've supported me on AO3 in the past, but I'll admit that the idea of having "extras" has actually been really creatively freeing for me...?

It's two things, really. The first is that I tend to like writing single-POV stories. I like the way this encourages the reader to learn about the other characters at the same rate as the protagonist does. But it does mean that sometimes I can't write scenes I'd love to write because the POV character is not there to witness them.

It's fun to write with extra scenes "allowed", so to speak, because as I wrote this story, I came up with four different short stories (missing scenes, flashbacks, nsfw epilogues, etc.) that didn't fit into the main narrative I was writing and... I just got to write them. lmao. I could say "well, this scene doesn't fit what I'm writing rn but I can just throw it on Patreon if anyone wants to read it" and that was very freeing.

That brings me to my second point, I guess. There's always this worry I have that like... oh, I want to talk so much about my writing, I want to write sequels, I want to write side stories, I want to write meta. But I always worry that people don't want to read that and it'll just come off as distracting/irritating for people who just want a normal, straightforward story.

(It's the ADHD in me, I think. I am so bad at digressions, and I know it gets annoying. ;;)

But if I have a designated opt-in spot for all that stuff... The essays on why I made certain characterization decisions or the pictures of art that I used to inspire the story or historical background I was playing with or odd little side stories... That actually feels very freeing.

Will anyone actually want to pay Real Live Dollars for that kind of thing? Unclear!!! But maybe it's good to make all that detritus just for my own peace of mind lmao.