#i can appreciate how cool they are & watch them eat and make webs all without ever touching them.

[sanguistra]

Reptile Expo Haul

mostly feeders tbh BUT

Yes I did get a brown recluse. It's just a sling rn so hopefully i can manage to raise it to adulthood. It'll be difficult though.

She's SO TINY.

got this baby mexican fire leg that im pretty excited about also

as an adult they look like this if anyone's interested.

Family photo with all my feeders too (horn worms, dubia roaches, waxworms and a box of 500 crickets). AND this awesome coffin shaped enclosure from Tarantula Cribs. Gonna move my Black Widow into it 😎

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

The Obey Me Brothers and Undatables vs An Insect/Arachnid Loving MC

I find it amazing how many people find it disturbing that I just love some insects and arachnids (not more than birds but still, insects can be both cute and cool even when they manage to terrify me so I can't help but love them lmao).

It's so cool how insects are actually the most dominant species in the world even before humanity existed and will most likely still be even after humanity ceases to exist, of course some of them actualy spread disease and such but it's not all of them and the mosquitoes that do spread it are females and they are just sucking your blood to feed their babies and the males like flowers over your blood, I actually don't like all spiders but I love tarantulas with all my heart although I can't say the same for wasps, they are evil but they can be so cool I have so many mixed feelings and cockroaches can be so adorable specially the forest/wild ones, have you ever seen them eat fruits??? They are so cute! And don't even get me started on how a d o r a b l e beetles are-

.

Lucifer vs Ladybug

Taking strolls in the Castle's garden when you are accompaning Lucifer in his work are very common.

Just taking a fresh breath of the Devildom's air in between breaks with you by his side powers him up like crazy.

Now that being said, he doesn't really appreciate losing your attention to a little, colorful, bug crawling on one of the flowers in said garden.

"Lucifer, look! It's a ladybug! It's so different from the human world!"

That is true, ladybugs in hell were brighter in color and had a toxin in their bodies that- Oh wait

"Don't touch it!" Lucifer grabbed your hand in realization "haven't you learned anything about bright colors in nature? The toxin in their bodies can melt your skin off!"

He really didn't expect your eyes to get even more shiny.

"Ladybugs in Devildom are both bright and dangerous??!! I'm so jealous!"

With that, he became both exasperated and more in love with you.

Does this have a relation to the fact that you love him and his brothers even thought they are demons?

He is definetelly giving you a brooch in the shape of a ladybug later

.

Mammon vs Cockroach

If you think this man didn't scream like a plate being scratched with a fork when he saw a cockroach in your bedroom, you are wrong.

I mean, okay, he was on the floor and the thing just decided to crawl up to his head out of nowhere.

He jumped over the table so fast it probably has beaten a world record.

"Aw! It's a baby cockroach!"

It's true, it was very small compared to adult ones, but Mammon didn't care.

"STOP FAWNIN' OVER THOSE CREATURES FOR ONCE AND KILL IT ALREADY!!"

And of course instead of killing it you just raise your eyebrown at him while scooping the thing up with a paper.

And of course you needed to bring it really close to him just to watch him squirm before you decide throw it out of your bedroom's window.

He definetelly will ask you to wash your hands before comforting him even if you didn't even touch the cockroach directly.

.

Leviathan vs Dragonfly

You cannot tell me dragonflies in Devildom are actually very few and actually have the size of a small dragon.

It all happened on the day you and Levi got lost in the forest searching for a raven that stole his just purchased phone charm of a game that he was currently addicted to.

Both of you were looking for a way out when you heard an extremelly loud buzzing noise from somewhere in the woods.

Of course both of you followed the sound because first, you just know that must be one big ass insect since it sounded almost like a helicopter and you had to see it, and second, Levi suddenly forgot all about the charm (and being lost) and started rambling about how 'it couldn't be! Is it really-!'

And that is how you guys found his new Henry.

A giant, navy blue, shiny dragonfly, that was currently eating the Raven you and Levi were searching for.

Let's just say Levi got his charm back and both of you got a free ride to the House of Lamentation.

.

Satan vs Spiders

Where there are old books, there are spider webs, and where there are spider webs, there's at least a 50% chance there are spiders in there.

So you can say Satan was quite familiar with the eight legged creatures, although he never really paid them much attention.

That is until he found they were of your interest.

You will never see someone start to give spider names, treat them with courtesy and have small talks with them faster than with this man.

Getting a book from the House of Lamentation's library and there's a web in the way along with a resident spider? "Excuse me, I will have to disturb you a little, I hope you don't mind a bit of damage to your home"

He is reading and suddenly sees a spider dangling down from a web string right besides him? He is definetelly letting it land on his hand just so that he can show it to you.

One day he even choses to read a book in his berdoom that a tiny spider was standing on. The sight of the tiny thing crawling around the pages as he reads it and explains some things out loud is so precious to see.

.

Asmodeus vs Scorpions

Of course, what would suit the Lust Demon better than his own patron?

That is until you teach him that there are more than just one type of scorpion, and there is one type that has really big claws and a thinner tail that are usually pretty big in size.

Why would learning that be a bad thing, you ask? Instead of stinging its food, it actually grabs it like a crab.

So yes, the day Asmo held one and didn't use his charms, it pinched him.

Needless to say, it was chaotic.

Leaving the fact he is never approaching those kinds of scorpions ever again, he coos a lot at you while you coo at the small scorpions.

If you tell him the fact that they are his patron just makes you love him more, he will be so happy he will be squealing for the next 5 minutes.

He has definetelly taken a few dozens, of pictures for you while holding one or more scorpions.

His followers in the devilgram were surprised at how even while holding that thing, Asmo still looked amazing.

Scorpions definetelly became sensation in Devildom after that.

.

Beelzebub vs Flies

Again, nothing better than his own patron.

If he didn't have to swat them off his food that is.

He has definetelly eaten some accidently.

"Look! I managed to make it crawl up to my finger without scaring it!" you say.

"That is cool. But you should probably wash your hand." He replies.

He's right, wash your hands if you ever grab onto flies.

He finds it really cute that you like insects, and it makes him tingly on the inside when he remembers that his symbolic creature is an insect itself.

Don't hold back on asking him to change into his demon form more often, he is very happy to do it.

He starts paying more attention to insects and flies in general after he finds out how much you love them.

How big their are, their color, where he saw them, what were they doing, if they tasted good.

And then he proceeds to tell you all about it.

He is very cute.

.

Belphegor vs Butterflies

It's not that he attracts butterflies, no. But he actually likes them, finds them cool even.

Did you know some butterflies disguise as another type butterfly because that type is actually not very tasty to eat so the animals stay away from them?

And how many of them have patterns on their wings that look a lot like Owls and again, it makes animals stay away from them?

And the whole symbolism of life, death and rebirth around them? And the fact that the larvae eating everything around them reminds him a lot of Beel?

Belphie definetelly likes butterflies and you cannot tell me otherwise.

So when he finds out you love insects? Oh he is definetelly taking you to the best butterfly watching spot either in the Devildom or the Human World.

It's specially cute when he falls asleep and one lands on his face.

He definetelly had a minor heart attack when he woke up to the sight its wings but he will never admit it.

Also definetelly grabs it and puts it on you instead.

It's counterproductive as you end up looking too cute for him to handle.

.

Solomon vs Beetles

I mean beetle fights.

You thought you liked insects, just wait until you see this man cheering on a beetle like an excited kid.

Also finds it hilarious when one just yeets the other away.

And because now you are there to feed more into his love for beetles, one day he casts a spell on two of them to make them big enough to ride and just showed up outside your window like:

"No time to explain, get in the beetle"

Because of safety measures, no, you guys didn't have a giant beetle fight.

But you did ride them around the Devildom forest at 2am.

You thought it would be an insane ride with lots of adventures

But you guys just ended up star gazing while laying on them.

He forgot to turn them back to their original size and they scared a few of the residents of Devildom.

.

Simeon vs Mantis

Warning: it's a big goreish

When you introduced the praying mantis specifically to Simeon, he was immediatelly in awe.

And then you proceeded to show him how they can have many shapes and forms, be it as leafs, tree branches, and others.

And he was so intrigued!

But then you gave him the more, specific details.

Like how they can feast on their prey while they are still alive.

And how it actually can attack small birds such as humming birds, eating their brain tissue through their eyes.

And how the females practice a cannibalism ritual, feasting on their partners after mating.

That's when his writer self came to light.

What I mean is, he was now both horrified and extremelly inspired.

Simeon can be scary sometimes.

.

Diavolo vs Ants

If you can find ants in every nook and crany around the world, you cannot tell me you can't find them in hell.

If they are able to travel the sea just by being taken along with baggage on accident, they have definetelly come to hell the same way, specially black crazy ants.

So honestly, I wouldn't find it surprising that Diavolo would have at least one big colony of ants he takes care of.

But he didn't have it until you pointed out why ants were awesome to him.

"They don't eat the leafs, they are farmers and what they eat is the other tiny creatures that decompose the leafs" "they can go to extreme lenghts to find their food and they have a real good teamwork, often they don't eat right away but instead bring the food back to the colony to feed the young" "Some ants that live in tropical weather that rains a lot, such as the amazon, can swim! And they do it together in big, ant, nests!"

Needless to say, he was intrigued.

Such tiny creatures are able to eat other insects much bigger than them? And they love sweets?

They actually like their homes clean and throw their trash into the very corner of their enclosure? Their bite can actually hurt a lot even to creatures gigantic copared to their size such as humans??

He had his own personal colony the very next day.

.

Barbatos vs Bees

This man definetelly has his own share of appreciation for bees even before you told him you like insects.

They are very good helpers in the garden, their honey can be used on a extremelly big variety of both food and health products along with their wax, and honestly, they're just so fuzzy and cute.

If you want to get a rare laugh or chuckle out of him, make bee movie references.

He will just stop in his tracks and cover his mouth as he tries not to laugh.

You could almost make him spit his drink if you do it while he is drinking something.

And you can't tell me this man can't make bee related puns with a straight face. It's unbeeliveable

Aight, imma head out

.

(This was basically an insect/arachnid appreciation post and I have no regrets)

[riverthunder]

The Stars in Our Skies

For @thespacecryptid for the @ironstrangehaven Gift Exchange ❤️

Link to AO3 Post: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28625829

Notes:

Alrighty, so first I need to apologize to my giftee, TheSpaceCryptid. I tried to finish your gift early, and I want to say I had it done sometime between the 15th and the 20th? And after a lazy Christmas Day I went into my Google Drive to post this and it was just... gone. I have no idea what happened. So I had to redo the whole thing from scratch. In some ways I like this version a lot more, though- and in others I think the original was a little better? But overall I'm pleased with this.

You had a lot of ideas I absolutely adore- like Asexual Stephen (insert my heart eyes here), and stargazing dates, and these two being professors. Just. Mwah. Beautiful.

Also, I'm tagging this as Teen due to some discussions of sex- nothing graphic, though, obviously- since I headcanon ace Stephen as a sex-repulsed asexual like myself.

I hope you like the fic and your bonus artwork to make up for how late this ended up being! Apologies again!!

The Stars in Our Skies

Tony stared just a little bit as the new astronomy teacher strolled into the break room and began fixing himself a cup of oolong tea. He had a beautiful face, with sharp cheekbones and a well-defined jaw, as well as piercing, beautiful eyes. Tony also had a funny feeling that he’d met the astronomy teacher many times before, but he couldn’t put a finger on where.

He knew Professor Strange had been a surgeon back in the day, and he was sure he’d seen him at some of the galas he’d attended in his youth. But it felt like he’d seen Strange more recently than that.

He was very obviously distracted during his class, and he gave up on whatever physics explanation he’d been trying to give the poor engineering class he was clearly confusing, and told them to just go ahead and work on homework, giving them a bonus extra two days on his latest paper as well to top it off while he sat back down at his desk to think.

At the end of the period, two of his best students came to sit next to him.

“Everything okay, Professor Stark?” Peter asked while Harley gave him a knowing smile.

“Fine, boys, just a little off my rhythm is all,” Tony said, trying to look unconcerned.

“You sure?” Harley asked innocently. “Sure it’s not something else? A certain someone, maybe? Like… I dunno… the hot new astronomy professor?”

Tony had been taking a drink of coffee and choked on it at Harley’s words, which was decidedly not good, since the coffee was still piping hot thanks to his specially designed insulated mug. “I- you- what?” Tony spluttered.

“What?” Harley asked innocently. “He’s kinda like you, Professor. A silver fox. He’s smokin’.”

“Harley!” Peter said indignantly. “You can’t say that about a professor!”

Harley shrugged. “Too bad, it’s true, Pete. ‘Sides, Professor Stark should come to terms with the idea.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at Harley’s tone. “Oh really?” He asked. “Why?”

Harley shrugged innocently. “Because I wrote Professor Strange a note in your handwriting and hid it in his desk drawer asking him to go on a date with you tonight at 8:00.”

Tony stood up so quickly his coffee mug almost spilled all over the papers he’d collected from his first period, but before he could shout at Harley at the top of his lungs, a certain handsome professor was standing in his doorway.

“Oh,” Stephen said, looking from Tony to their students. “I’m sorry, are you busy? I could come back another time.”

He was holding a piece of paper that had obviously been folded a few times in one of his trembling hands.

“No, we were just leaving,” Harley said sweetly.

Peter felt himself blushing for some reason as he passed Professor Stark a quick note of his own. “Um, I just wanted to know if you’d please check my work on these chemistry notes,” he said.

Tony glanced down at them. A new web-fluid design. He nodded to Peter. “Yes. Yes. I’ll look them over and e-mail you with any necessary changes.”

“Thanks!”

Without another word, Peter seized Harley’s upper arm and dashed out of the room, while Harley laughed and tried to protest, clearly thrilled with watching Tony flounder in the presence of his crush. You could hardly blame him. Seeing Tony Stark, Iron Man, who was a professor for fun, flounder, was a rare and almost unheard of sight.

“Hello, Professor Stark,” Strange said politely, and Tony felt his face heating up. “Um- hi- I-”

“I am very sorry,” Stephen said, setting the note in his hand down on Tony’s desk. Tony caught a glimpse of the handwriting- fucking identical to his own. That damn Keener brat. When Tony got his hands on him-

“But I am afraid I must decline your invitation.”

Oh.

Tony hadn’t even known he was asking Stephen on a date a few minutes ago, but somehow Stephen’s words still stung.

“Oh,” he said out loud. “Uh… busy?”

“No,” Stephen replied.

Yeah, that definitely hurt.

“Oh.” Tony glanced at the note and quickly plucked it off the desk. “Okay. That’s fine, I understand. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with this.”

“You didn’t,” Stephen told him. “It was actually very flattering. But I don’t think you would like to be in a relationship with me, so I am afraid I must decline.”

Wait, what?

“Uh… sorry, you lost me,” Tony said awkwardly.

Stephen chuckled. “I identify as asexual,” he explained. “Specifically, a sex-repulsed asexual. And from what I know of your past...er, love life, I think it’s better if I decline the invitation altogether. I don’t want to upset you because you want to have sex and I don’t.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “So it is an ace ring!” He said, pointing at the black ring on Stephen’s middle finger on his right hand. “Rhodey called me crazy and said it was a swinger’s ring!”

Stephen blinked in surprise and glanced down at his ring. “Er- yes, it is,” he agreed.

“Cool! Okay.” Tony shot him a smirk. “In that case- are you an ace of spades?”

Stephen looked shocked. “You- you know about the card suits?”

“Sure do,” Tony said proudly.

Stephen narrowed his eyes. “Okay then- who uses the ace of diamonds?”

“Demisexuals and demiromantic asexuals,” Tony said. “Ace of clubs is for graysexual and grayromantic, ace of spades is for aromantic asexuals, and ace of hearts is for romantic asexuals.”

He grinned, and Stephen had to crack a smile. “Very impressive.”

“So, what’s your suit, Doc?” Tony asked, grinning at him, and Stephen had to resist the urge to let that smile widen.

“Ace of hearts. I’m a romantic asexual.”

Tony grinned. “I can work with that.”

Stephen allowed his face to fall into a small frown. “Tony, I-”

“Look, Doc, I don’t need sex to be happy,” Tony said. “I’ve had loads in my day, yeah, but I’m a big boy and frankly, I think it’s about time I had a relationship that wasn’t so focused on it. If you’re good with a romantic relationship, I can be happy with one, too.”

Stephen chuckled despite himself. “Persistent, aren’t you?”

“Very,” Tony said, a bit smugly.

Stephen chuckled. “Very well.” He wrote something on a small scrap of paper and offered it to Tony, taking back the note Harley had written. “You can pick me up there, at 8:00.”

“I’ll be there,” Tony said, snatching the fake letter back. “And I’ll give you something actually written by me then.”

~(*)~

Tony pulled up to the house on Bleecker Street. Huh… looked kinda like a museum, to be honest.

The elegant Professor Strange was already walking to meet the car. “Right on time,” he teased, climbing in. He looked like he was putting on a brave face as he entered, and Tony took note of the way Stephen’s hand reached for the cabinet handle on the inside of the door.

Tony bit his lip. “I just like to be on time to things,” he said casually, placing his right hand on the console if Stephen wanted to hold it too, or instead.

Stephen nodded. “Well, I appreciate it. So, what’s the plan for our date?”

“I think you told Professor Verity that you like ramen from Samurai Noodle, right?”

Stephen smiled. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Great! Then we’re getting take-out,” Tony told him, grinning to himself. “And I have a great idea of where we can eat it.”

“Oh? And where is that, exactly?”

“It’s a secret,” Tony said, smirking. “Are you ready to go?”

Stephen nodded, looking amused as he took Tony’s free hand on the console. “That I am. Let’s go, Professor Stark.”

Tony snorted as he started the car. “Alright.”

He tried to sound cool, but he knew that he had started blushing.

~(*)~

“So what exactly are we doing in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night?” Stephen asked as Tony laid a large blanket out in one of the large fields near the Avengers Compound.

“Why?” Tony asked, smirking at him. “Don’t you trust me?”

Stephen chuckled. “Is that your way of saying you’re secretly an ax murderer about to eviscerate me in the middle of this field, free of any witnesses?”

“Ouch,” Tony complained. “You’re really good at wounding someone’s ego, you know that, Strange?”

“So what’s the real reason we’re out here, then?” Stephen asked, amused.

“Lay down,” Tony ordered, pointing to the blanket. “And look up.”

Stephen did so, and gasped in surprise. “The stars….” He breathed, sounding mesmerized.

“That’s right,” Tony said, smiling at him. “Not to easy to see them in the city. But I figured you’re the Astronomy Professor… maybe you’d like to see them more clearly? Maybe teach me something I don’t know?”

“Lay down,” Stephen ordered quietly. “There… Orion the Hunter. Can you see his belt? The three stars, just here.”

“Oh… right,” Tony said. “Isn’t he that dude everyone says Artemis loved?”

“A common misconception these days,” Stephen murmured. “In many of the myths, Artemis was actually the one to kill him, on purpose, for harassing her friends, the Pleiades, or she would encourage someone else to kill him for her, such as Apollo. He’d summon a giant scorpion to kill Orion, which many believe is Scorpio, as the two constellations aren’t around at the same time. When Scorpio rises, Orion vanishes.”

“Cool,” Tony said softly, staring up at the night sky with Stephen. “What else can you see?”

“Sirius, the Dog Star, Orion’s hunting dog,” Stephen said, pointing to the bright star. You can see the constellation Taurus there. Gemini there. Monoceros is there, very faint. You see? Look closely.”

“Beautiful,” Tony murmured, resting his head on Stephen’s chest as he gazed up at the sky.

Stephen smiled to himself and wrapped an arm around him. “Hmm. Not as beautiful as you,” he murmured in a thoughtful voice, making Tony blush.

~(*)~

“Was that an okay date?” Tony wondered as he drove Stephen back to Bleecker Street.

Stephen smiled at him. “You don’t know?”

“Not really,” Tony admitted. “And I kinda wanna… you know. Do this again.”

Stephen chuckled as they reached the museum door. Wait… how come even the building looked sort of familiar? And the street…?

“Well, in that case… it was a perfect date, Professor Stark.” Stephen leaned over, kissing his lips gently. “And I expect to go on another one with you very soon.”

“Sure,” Tony said, a little breathlessly, his eyes wide as he stared at Stephen. “Whatever you want….”

“Perfect.” Stephen smiled at him, and suddenly something long, red, and fluttering was at his throat, gently tugging him out of the car. “Alright, Levi, alright. I’m coming,” Stephen murmured, reaching out to stroke the red fabric.

Tony stared at it. A sentient cloak….

Wait- was he-?

Stephen was already disappearing inside the door when Tony found his voice, so he couldn’t ask him directly. He sat in the dark of his car, dumbfounded, and feeling his heart pounding. Was that the kiss, his sudden epiphany, or both?

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Boss?” Chirped the cool Irish accent.

“Am… am I dating the Sorcerer Supreme?”

Extra Notes:

To clarify the "Stephen is the Sorcerer Supreme but Tony doesn't recognize him but is sure he's met him before" thing- I headcanon that Stephen's magic acts as a sort of "barrier" to his identity- and just protects his identity for him. I got the idea from Cute High Earth Defense Club actually- where the villains and heroes can't really recognize each other as specific students when they meet due to "radio interference" almost- but in my Stephen headcanon, it's more that the magic puts a sort of veil over Stephen, so Tony is sure he's met him before, but he can't put his finger on where until he recognizes Cloakie and goes "oh shit, Stephen's the Sorcerer Supreme I've been battling monsters with???"

[honesthammie]

4th prompt part 2

The silence was appreciated as your mind wrapped up today's event. You had met your soulmate in a goddess of a woman. Everything you had discovered so far was perfect. You watched as she pulled a metal disk and metal stick from her pockets. The metal stick made a strange buzzing sound and glowed a faint orange at the tip as she hovered over the disk.

"What are you doing?" You asked after watching her in curiosity for a few moments. You would've let her continue as her face was quite the sight. Her eyes were sparkling with intent and her nose had the most adorable scrunch.

She stopped for a moment as you spoke as if thinking on what to say before continuing. "I'm scanning for any spider eggs in the building so we can take them with the other spiders to a planet of their own. A planet without civilisation but full to the brim with creatures they can eat. I think, the fam got them all. No, fam still doesn't seem right. The team does sound better!"

"A planet? What, are you some kind of alien?"

"Yes. Would that be a problem?" She asked. From the way her eyes sparkled, I believed her. Great, no wonder why she seemed so ethereal! So when I say, she's out of this world, it'd be a fact and not a flirtatious comment! For fuck sake, that's one of my best lines as well! Maybe I could use it when the time is right?

"Nope. After the discoveries of my life recently, that's actually the most believable thing. Please don't ask yet. However, those spider babies trust me. You aren't going to get them to listen without me. I spent at least a full 5 hours with them, they trust me more than you. Come on little Miss Sunshine, hop to it, the spiders won't wait forever." I spoke with confidence. I knew she knew, she needed me. That's why she followed me. "I'm (y/n) by the way"

"Great name! Love that name, was always one of my favourites. I've always fancied myself as a (y/n) but the faces never seem to fit it. I'm normally a John but I can't be now I'm a woman. Why don't you give me an alias for when I'm undercover?"

"Hmmm. I quite liked the name Alice and you certainly suit that name. Is there a name people call you when you aren't undercover. What do family call you?"

"Alice. I love that! I'm keeping Smith. Alice Smith. Perfect! Knew you'd be the one to help me. People tend to call me the Doctor. So do I for some reason. Wish I knew why."

This cute blonde alien was more mysterious the more we talked. She told me of how her ship goes in time as well as in space. She told me of the time of when she met Robin Hood with an older face and a companion named Clara. All this talk and I wasn't bothered once by it. I could listen and watch her all day as she talks about adventures she's been on. She puts all the theatrics on and waves her arms about with so much passion and her eyes show her emotions so clearly. But I also saw age. If she's older than she looks, just how old is she? Not that it bothers me, it's just, if she's like hundreds of years old, she's probably had other lovers and I don't know if plain old me can compete with that.

Sooner than we realised, we came towards a blue Police box. She clicked her fingers and waltzed right in. This must be her TARDIS. I walked inside with awe. The ship was beautiful inside. Like a gem hidden as an ore. The golden and blue lights perfectly reflected her personality.

"It's fucking massive Sunshine! Ya didn't warn me about walking into a football field! No wonder why thousands of spiders seemed no problem! Fucking hell!" I stated as my eyes scanned the room in front of me. Then I felt a little tug on my right trouser leg. I looked down and saw a little spider wanting my attention. I bent down and picked him up. He seemed happy to be held like that so I kept him in that position as I wondered towards the Doctor.

I had so many questions I wanted to know and I'm sure she has too. But now was not the time for that. We needed to get these spiders to their new home. I continued to watch the Doctor as she danced around something she called a console. She was pressing buttons and pulling levers and many more things until the ship made a strange wheezing noise and I was thrown off my feet. Thankfully I was caught by someone. I looked up and saw an oldish man.

"Hello Love! I can tell this your first time here. We all fell down when she first did that with us. You learn to find something to grab onto. I'm Graham by the way." Graham spoke gently but loudly over the noise of the ship. I couldn't help but giggle, my grandad used to call me Love too.

Then as quick as the ship started, it came to a gentle stop. I looked around and notice the same 2 people from earlier. The girl was smiling and laughing to something the boy mentioned. They must be old friends. I then noticed the Doctor walk towards the doors and open them just enough for her to check outside.

"Right (n/n). I'm calling you that as we are friends now. Go on, it's your first new planet and you care about these spiders more than we do so I think it's best if you check everything it perfect for them!" The Doctor spoke with excitement. She even clapped her hands for a moment, obviously not being able to control the surge of energy running through her.

I held the spider in my arms and the doors opened in front of me. I closed my eyes for a moment as the light blinded me temporarily. I could feel the warmth of a sun and the cool breeze the gently whipped past your face giving you the perfect cooling needed. The planet smelled sweet yet sour like Toxic waste sweets. I could hear many creatures making strange noises, some were doing a high pitched growl and some others were doing deep scream. Then there were nicer sounds like birds tweeting but in a lower key and something sounded like a piano, specifically an old ragtime piano.

I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the silver sky and its 4 suns in each direction. I noticed that the high pitched growl was from a small flying frog like creature and the deep scream was from a big rabbit- horse like creature that was just chewing the purple leaves off the metal looking trees. The bird like sound belonged to a small Robin like creature, but instead of a red chest it was a beautiful blue hue and it had silver eyes that sparkled just right. The Ragtime piano sound belonged to a dog-raccoon like creature that scampered away with its mouth full of the fallen berries that the rabbit-horse dropped from the leaves. The grass beneath was as black as ink and the pond to the right of me was a strange red colour.

"Well what do ya think? I personally think it's perfect but you seem to know these arachnids better than me so, I could be wrong, although, I'm not often" The Doctor spoke with eagerness. I noticed her looking at me as I took in the world around me. Why does this feel all too familiar to me? Why do I like the escapism of Earth? Why is this so, freeing?

I took a deep breath in. "Its perfect Doc. The spiders will love it here! They'll adapt pretty quickly I believe. The creatures are big enough to satisfy them. Although the sounds are a little off putting." I put the spider in my arms in the oddly cotton soft grass and watched as the thousands of others followed in its footsteps. Some carried the baby spiders and others carried the eggs. They had already found a cave to lay the eggs and started weaving some webs within 10 minutes.

Once I was happy with everything, I said my goodbyes and entered the strange ship once more. I could feel fresh tears sting my eyes like tiny hot needles. I get so attached so quickly and I noticed the string warm up and I checked on my soulmate, she was looking at me with an all too familiar look, the look of complete adoration. So the string tells me when her love for me evolves until we kiss? I mean, that's when it disappears for everyone else.

"This was great Sunshine! I had a ride of a lifetime, I really did. So I guess, you can drop me off home, I'm probably not wanted and I don't wanna ruin your team dynamic here."

"Why on Earth would you think that? I was actually wondering if you'd like to join us. Those spiders trusted you and having someone like you would really make the adventures more thrilling. Besides, I really like you and there's something special about you and I can't place my finger on it. I don't like not knowing things. If I drop these off home for a bit, would you mind if I ran some tests on you?"

"Really? Sure. I don't mind. I actually wanna know aswell. You see, I know what's special but I don't want to tell you in front of the others, its a bit embarrassing." I asked whilst blushing. She nodded her head and set the TARDIS coordinates to Sheffield. The Doctor promised she'd be back in a week and set the TARDIS to float in our solar system whilst she got to work on me.

We walked into what I can assume is some sort of med Bay. The walk had conversations about the last planet and how we thought the spiders would adjust. Eventually she sat me down on a white bed.

"So, you said you knew why you were special. I don't like cliffhangers so I'll give you a custard cream if you tell me." She said as she got a paper document and waited for me to speak.

"I don't know how or why but have you ever heard of the red string of fate story?" I asked, wondering how to word this without sounding weird. She nodded her head in understanding. "Well, when I turned 16, I could see everyone's red strings. The world was covered in red. I was confused at first until I read that story."

"Hmm. That is interesting because all stories have some truth to them. Some are exaggerated and some are exactly as said. Well that story is a good example of that. Thousands of years ago, there were 2 species of human, homo sapiens and homo spectrians. Spectrians were low on numbers in population as they'd spend almost all their life playing match maker. You'd know Spectrians as Cupids. However when battles and wars happened, Cupids were out of a job as everyone had to focus on the country and not themselves. This is where arranged marriages started happening and Cupids were becoming depressed. Eventually the Cupids decided to blend in with the humans and became virtually extinct. You might be the only Cupid left in the universe, other than Valentine himself." She explained it so well.

"Can Cupids see their own string?" I asked. She paused for a moment. Her eyes flickered between heartbroken and hopeful. I felt the string flicker between cold and toasty warm just like her eyes.

"No. Cupids weren't supposed to have soulmates. But I guess you are technically half human so maybe that makes sense. Do you know who your soulmate is?"

"She's amazing. She's like a Goddess. When I first saw her I immediately thought, She's too fucking perfect for someone like me. She incredibly smart too but, can be oblivious. I mean, I only met her a few hours ago and I'm fucking smitten with her. She reminds me of sunshines and rainbows. I'm just waiting for her to make a move." I told her. She looked at me for a moment, processing this new information. She smirked for a moment once she figured it out.

"Well my soulmate had me wrapped around her finger the second she jumped in front of a spider to save her life. A bold move like that normally makes me mad but, she did it so well. I haven't known her long but I can see me being by her side forever, travelling the stars. She reminds me of those stars actually. The way she sparkles in the light. I love you (y/n) with both of my hearts." She spoke softly as we slowly leaned in. When she finished, she planted her soft lips on mine and the red string was gone. Not that I noticed until an hour later when we picked the team up and held hands to announce our relationship.

Maybe dating a sunshine is exactly who I needed.

[joyful-soul-collector]

Spider-Man Lesson Number One

Prompt: Doesn’t Realize They’ve Been Injured

This was requested by my friend on Ao3 happy_to_be_here!

Irondad Tag List: @phahbiyah​ @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars​ @clevermuffinalmondpeach​ @stuck-in-a-fictional-universe​ @canonismybitch​

Thank you to @nazezdha321​ and @sketchibilitea​ for beta reading this for me!

And of course we have to tag @badthingshappenbingo​! 

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list! Hope you all enjoy!

Read on AO3

“Oh my gooooooooooood this is so boring! Friday nights are usually crazy with crime, how is it so dead out here?” Peter said to himself. 

“Crime levels fluctuate, Peter,” Karen said into his ear, startling him so hard he almost fell off the side of the building he was sitting on. “Though I did get a report of a disturbance a few streets away. My guess is law enforcement will not arrive for about ten minutes, plenty of time to help out and leave before you get caught.”

“Finally, good lord,” Peter said, shooting a web and swinging his way towards the street Karen indicated. “I mean it’s a Friday, where’s all the raging drunk college kids doing stupid stuff?”

“Perhaps they have all gone to sleep, Peter. It is rather late.”

“Pfft, it’s nine o’clock, the day’s just getting started for them,” Peter said with a snort. Peter landed with a flip on a building by his destination. “Karen, where exactly did you say--”

A scream cut him off and Peter whirled to look down in a dimly lit alleyway. 

“Shit, Karen, night vision please?”

“Of course, Peter.”

Peter could suddenly see a man cornering what looked to be a woman and her son. The man lunged at them and the woman punched him hard, and Peter could hear the snap of one of her fingers from even up on the roof. Peter quickly lept down as the woman howled in pain. 

“Woah! Hey hey buddy what’re you doing!?” Peter shouted as the man recovered from her punch. He pointed a sharp pocket knife at Peter and snarled, “Give me all your money you little brat!” Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Why is it always the same with you guys? Can none of you get that I’ve beat up supervillains? What in the hell makes you think you’ll last longer than the Vulture?” Peter scoffed. The man faltered but didn’t back down, still pointing the blade directly at Peter’s face. 

“Goddamit--I need this money!” The man growled. 

“You don’t need anything enough to kill someone over it man,” Peter said. “Now are you gonna leave so we don’t have to do the ‘you struggle while I win’ thing, or is that the route you prefer? Remember, this action will have consequences.”

Heh, Ned would appreciate the Life is Strange reference, Peter thought absentmindedly. Hey actually I’m not sure how far he got on that game, I gotta ask him about that tomorr--

Peter’s thoughts were interrupted by the man suddenly swinging the blade far too close to Peter’s chest. 

“Woah!” Peter said, doing his best to dodge the man’s swings but stay in front of the woman and her son behind him. “Not cool man!” Peter stopped the mugger’s fist on the fourth swing, squeezing his arm hard until he shouted and dropped the knife. Peter threw him against the wall and webbed him there muttering angrily to himself. 

“Stupid fucking ADHD. Of course I forget my meds on a Friday, the day I should be the most focused! Dammit! C’mon Spider-Man, way to be an idiot,” Peter said as he scribbled a note and stuck it to the webbing over the man’s chest. 

He turned to face the woman who was still holding her hand with a grimace while her son wailed next to her. 

“Oh jeez, yeah that’s definitely broken, here lemme help with that,” Peter said as he saw a deep bruise blossoming over her dark skin. He shot a bit of webbing into his hand and gently wrapped it around her fingers. “That’s gonna dissolve in an hour so you’ll wanna get that checked out as soon as possible, um, I know someone who can help out if you need the bills paid for that--”

“It’s fine, I’m actually a nurse,” the woman said with a strained chuckle. She glanced up at Peter, but her expression suddenly changed to a look of horror. “Oh god, Spiderman--”

“Woops, I can just tell you missed a hyphen there,” Peter said, giving her a good natured glare. “It’s Spider, hyphen, Man. Man with a capital ‘M’. Sorry, I’m a bit of a stickler for this stuff--”

The small boy next to them cut him off with an ear splitting wail, and Peter suddenly felt his heart squeeze. 

“Aw, kiddo, you’re alright!” Peter said, squatting down to be at eye-level with the child. He only cried harder, scrubbing his eyes and sniffling miserably in fear. 

Peter gently touched his shoulder and looked right into his eyes. 

“Hey,” he said softly. That seemed to calm him down a bit, his wails shrinking into small whimpers. “What’s your name kiddo?”

“M-Miles,” he squeaked. 

“Miles, huh? That’s a pretty cool name.”

“Not as cool as Spider-Man,” he huffed. 

“Well who knows, kid! Maybe you’ll be Spider-Man someday too!” Peter said. Miles’s eyes lit up excitedly and he bounced on his feet. 

“Would you teach me!?”

“Ha! I’m sure you could guilt me into it with those little puppy eyes,” Peter said. Miles made his best little doe eyes and Peter gasped. 

“Oh no! I’ve been defeated by the cuteness! You’re too powerful Spider-Man!” he cried. Miles giggled in delight and Peter squinted his eyes in a mocking glare. 

“Alright kid. Spider-Man lesson number one: Don’t watch the mouth, watch the hands!” 

Peter flung an arm up and shot a web, flying high into the air with an elated shout. Peter could hear Miles shrieking with glee below and he smiled.

“See ya later Spider-Man!” 

And Peter headed to the tower, taking no notice of the wet warmth dripping down his side. 

~~~

Peter arrived at Stark Tower right on time for his curfew, which he still felt was too early to be heading home. Ten pm? Really?

But Tony said Aunt May would flay him alive if he let Peter break curfew just because she’d be gone for a week, and to be honest, Peter 100% believed him. She’s definitely a bit of a momma bear. 

Peter quietly opened one of the windows, only noticing Tony was there when he jumped in surprise. 

“Jesus kid, you about scared the hell outta me. You gotta quit that, you know I have heart problems,” he said, tossing his phone to the side on the couch. 

But oddly enough, Peter was having a hard time hearing him. Or at least focusing on hearing him. Probably his ADHD again. 

“Heheh,” Peter said, his laugh feeling weak. What was he laughing at again? Man, he really should’ve taken his medication. 

“Kid? You alright?” Peter ignored him, staring at something on the window he’d just climbed through. It was a footprint, but it looked all smeared, and oddly… red. 

“Wassat?” he mumbled, staring at the bloody footprint, and feeling rather dizzy. Was this an ADHD thing? He couldn’t remember. 

“Oh my god, Peter! Shit, kid you’re bleeding!” Tony said through the water that seemed to be surrounding Peter’s ears. 

“Hmm?” Peter said. Then he looked down at himself and realized there was a deep cut along his side, and blood had leaked out and run all the way down his leg. 

Tony was saying something else, grabbing his arms and trying to lead him somewhere, but Peter resisted. He didn’t want to get blood tracked all over the carpet. 

“Pr’tty sure this stuff ‘s s’pposed to stay inside me,” Peter mumbled. But the sight of his own blood flowing out of him had made Peter dizzy, and he very suddenly wasn’t worrying much about the carpet anymore. 

In fact, he wasn’t worrying about anything at all. 

~~~

Peter’s side was rather sore when he woke up in a hospital bed, though he was more surprised by the hospital bed than he was about the ache. Peter pushed himself into a sitting position and winced as pain lanced up his side. 

“Careful kiddo,” a voice said from the doorway. There was Tony, standing there with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “You don’t wanna rip a stitch.”

“Oh. Yeah that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t wanna, um, do that.” They stared at each other for a moment before Tony rolled his eyes and gave him a soft smile. 

“What I wanna know, is how the hell you swung all the way to the tower without noticing you had a seven-inch long gash in your side,” he said. 

“Um… ADHD?”

“Ha! Well whatever you were thinking about must’ve been pretty damn distracting,” Tony prompted. Peter grinned, thinking back. 

“I met this little kid named Miles. He said he wanted to be Spider-Man like me. I told him I’d teach him if he ever did become Spider-Man, I was thinking about what I’d show him,” Peter said. Tony’s gaze softened as he walked over. 

“Well that’s real nice of you kid. But, you know that even though that gash will heal by tomorrow I still gotta tell your Aunt about this, right?” he said. He held out a cup of strawberry Jell-O, which Peter took with a snort.

“Yeah yeah, but can we just save that for later? I think I should recover from this before going into another battle,” Peter said, making his own version of Miles’s doe eyes. Tony scoffed and ruffled Peter’s hair. 

“Sure kid. Eat your Jell-O and we’ll go watch some Star Wars,” he said. 

Peter grinned widely and ate his treat, too distracted by the warmth in his chest to care about the ache in his side. 

[peterspideyy]

5 times peter parker wanted to tell you he loves you, and the one time he finally does

summary- basically the title

warnings- angst, death, blood, swear words

1.

the first time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you both were studying for a test at his house. may said you could sleep over as it was getting late, and you live across town. she didn’t mind you sleeping over though, it’s not like you haven’t done it before.

“ughh can we stop studying? i feel like my head is about to explode with knowledge!” you sighed heavily, smacking your science book against your head causing peter to laugh tiredly.

“mmm okay, do you want to watch a film?”

“you know it!”

within minutes, peter had star wars on and sweets ready for you both. you were both engrossed in the film in-front of you, while you sat on peter’s bed, covered in blankets. you and peter were so interested in what was happening, that you didn’t realise you both moved your hands at the same time, to pick up the same piece of popcorn, causing your hands to meet and an electrical spark to form.

you both looked at each other, before you smiled, apologising slightly and turned back to the film. but, peter couldn’t turn his eyes away. he was engrossed not in the film, but in you. and in that moment, peter realised he was falling in love with his best friend.

2.

the second time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you stood up to flash when he was being mean to peter. it was during lunch at midtown school, where you, peter, ned and mj all sat on your regular table in the canteen. peter couldn’t help but look at you for longer after you spoke. you just looked so beautiful, causing peter to blush. but then, flash came causing you all the groan in annoyance.

“hey penis parker! still with your imaginary girlfriend? or are you still drooling over y/n?”

peter wanted to punch him right in the face when he mentioned your name. but, he also mentally slapped himself for being so dumb at how obvious he was in love with you.

“flash...go away!” peter spoke quietly, not making eye contact, but instead looking at you.

“ohhh, your not denying that you love her then?”

“flash,” you harshly spoke, looking at him, “do us a favour and fuck off! stop saying peter doesn’t have a girlfriend! it just shows how he hasn’t found the right person yet, which is so clever in my opinion! but, you go round the school going out with every girl which is so fucking stupid! so, can you please leave us alone so we can eat our fucking lunch?!”

the whole canteen fell quiet, causing you to blush slightly looking down at her food. seconds later, students forgot about what happened and the canteen came back to life. flash laughed slightly, before walking away which was must of a relief to the group.

“y/n i-i,” peter was going to say it, he was so close to saying it, “i-i i appreciate that you stood up for me.”

“no worries, it’s what best friends do!”

peter flinched at those words. he didn’t want to be best friends with you. he wanted to call you his.

3.

the third time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when you found out he was spiderman.

it was silly how you found out the friendly neighbourhood spiderman was in fact peter parker. during the school day, you both agreed to go to peter’s house after school to study (which is what you normally do.) you told him that you had to collect something, but would meet him at his house which he happily agreed.

however, peter being spiderman caused him to be hours late to meeting you at his house, due to fighting all the bad guys.

with many persuasions from karen, peter decided to go home, causing him to want his bed even more. when he snook into his room, he was shocked to find you sat on his bed, starring at him.

you must of starred at each other for minutes, before you actually moved towards peter.

“you-you’re spiderman?”

“errr,” peter didn’t know if it was a statement or question, “yehh?”

“w-what? how is this possible? are you an avenger?”

“i’m sure you have lots of questions, which i would answer tomorrow. you know, fighting bad guys is tiring!”

“are you hurt?!”

“shhh y/n!” peter quickly looked to the door, incase may heard.

“may doesn’t know?!”

“no, if she found out she would definitely tell me to stop!”

“okay okay okay, i won’t tell anyone if that’s what your wondering. we are not done with this conversation though, pete!”

“yes, okay,” peter smiled slightly at you, “thanks for excepting me as spiderman.”

“it’s okay, i love,” when you spoke, peter hoped you would say those three words, he’s been dying to say for the past two months, “being friends with spiderman! so cool!”

peter wanted to cry. of course, you think you’re only friends. all he wanted to do, was kiss you and tell you how much he loved you. but he couldn’t.

“right, i’ve got to go! see you tomorrow spidey!”

“yeah, bye.” peter sulked, once you left, falling onto his bed with his head stuffed in his pillow.

how can it be so hard telling your best friend that he loves you more than a friend?

4.

the fourth time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, mainly due to ned.

you, peter and ned where all at ned’s house, building a lego death star. you where all eating crap, which isn’t abnormal for all of you.

“right i’ll be right back, i need the toilet.” you smiled to them both, before leaving the room.

peter and ned watched you leave, before ned quickly turned to peter as soon as you left the room.

“mate, you gotta tell her!”

peter kind of regrets telling ned how he feels about you, instead of telling well...you. whenever ned gets the chance, he reminds peter on his feelings. it’s not like peter reminds himself 24/7.

“ned, no. she’s said so many times how she views me as a friend.” peter replied, looking away from him to carry on placing lego in the correct places.

“peter...listen to me,” ned spoke, causing peter to meet his eyes before sighing slightly, “if you don’t tell her how you feel, she will soon find someone who will tell her. she will move on. i bet you, actually i know she likes you back. you can just see the love you both feel when your in the same room! it’s disgusting but in a cute way. peter, if you don’t tell her, you’ll loose the chance to.”

“don’t tell who what?” you entered, making peter and ned jump (especially peter.)

you couldn’t of heard everything could you? thoughts where running through peters mind, at what you could of heard. peter sensed that ned was looking at him, forcing him to finally say what he’s been wanting to say for months.

“i-i,” peter was shocked, he couldn’t bare this amount of stress, “i’ve got to go.”

“oh.” you spoke quietly, immediately thinking you said something which upset him. without saying a goodbye, peter left, leaving his best friend and the girl who he loved to much to say.

5.

the fifth time peter wanted to tell you he loved you more than a friend was, when he found out you had a boyfriend.

peter harshly choked on his food in the school canteen, when you said you were going out with brad. peter wanted to scream in pain, anger and sadness. he missed his chance. he wants to shout at ned for what he said two weeks ago about how he will miss his chance. well, ned was right.

“peter? are you okay?”

he wanted to say no. he wanted to say ‘i love you y/n.’ but, he just couldn’t. he sounds so dumb but he physically couldn’t speak.

“yesss, he’s fine. food went down the wrong way.” ned quickly spoke, saving peter from talking. ned felt bad for his best friend, he could see how distraught he was at your news.

“okay. oh, there’s brad! see you guys later!” you smiled at them both, letting your eyes go to peter for longer.

ever since you watched star wars those months ago, you noticed how weirdly peter has been acting around you, but you didn’t know why. was it something you did? is something going on in his life? whatever it is, it’s eating peter from the inside.

once you left, ned immediately looked at peter to see him crying into his hands. he’s never seen peter cry. not even when his uncle died. he didn’t know what to do or how to help his best friend. ned knew, that y/n was peters soulmate, but it was too late.

6.

the one time peter actually told you he loved you was, a moment peter will regret for the rest of his life.

“peter, is y/n with you?”

“no, why?”

“she hasn’t came home.”

peter’s hairs stuck up on the back of his neck, as soon as your mum said those words. he knew something was off. his spider senses were going haywire.

“i’ll call her now mrs l/n.”

“thank you peter, i hope she’s okay.”

he could sense the worry laced within her voice, “me too.”

peter quickly put his suit on, before swinging out the window. he asked his a.i, if she knew were you where, before heading to a location across town, due to karen sensing your heat signature.

a few minutes later, he arrived to a run down building. he quietly swung into a large room, where he noticed a figure sat on a chair in the middle of the room. his breath hitched, when he realised the figure was you. he ran towards you, looking side to side to see if anyone else was here.

“y/n?”

he took in the sight of you. you where clearly beaten, with fresh blood pouring across your body. peter wanted to kill whoever did this to you. you had duck tape across your lips, making your words sound more like muffles.

“oh my god, what happened?” he spoke, carefully taking of the duck tape and untying your hands behind the chair. you suddenly wrapped your arms around peters neck, letting the tears fall while he calmed you.

“c-can we go?”

“gladly.” he replied, before shooting a web to leave.

“not so fast, spidey.”

peter’s tingles went off, when he released who that’s voice belonged to. turning around, he was met with green, wicked eyes.

“greeny! how you doing!” peter spoke, before quickly telling you to hide and to stay there.

“better, now your here! i can finally ruin you. for good.” the green goblin smiled wickedly, before throwing his first punch.

meanwhile, you found a spot behind a cupboard. you were shaking so quickly. why was this happening to you? you’ve had enough stress this past week. you and brad broke up. you failed your test. you and peter haven’t been talking properly, which you didn’t know why.

you looked above the cupboard, to see peter fighting the green goblin. webs and knives where being flown across the room. you where so intrigued, with what peter was doing you didn’t see that the goblin noticed you.

“you took away my world,” the goblin spoke to peter, not loosing eye contact from you, “so i’m going to take away yours.”

peter followed the goblins eyes to you. god, no. not you.

“y/n, run!” peter screeched, before fighting the goblin away from you. but he was faster, and flew towards you, spinning you into his arms.

“goblin, you don’t want to do this. if you do this, i will fucking kill you!”

“ahh good. you know what my weakness is, spiderman? making sure you’re dead, inside and outside.” the goblin replied wickedly, before grabbing one of his spikes, looking at you before stabbing you deep in the chest.

it was as time slowed down for you. the excruciating pain you felt, once he removed the spike overflowed you. you heard peter’s screams, before you where threw onto the ground below the goblins ship.

“bye spidey, i’ll be back.” he spoke, before flying away.

peter quickly took his mask off, running desperately to you. blood was pouring out of your wound, to quickly for peter to handle. his head was spinning. tears fell from his eyes, landing softly onto your bruised neck.

“p-pete...” you spoke softly, whimpering at the pain you felt.

“shhh, it’s o-okay,” he spoke, smiling slighting, moving your soft and dirty hair out of your face, “y-y/n i need to tell you something.”

you met his eyes, crying slightly but waiting for him to continue.

“i-i i love you,” he laughed slightly, glad he finally told you, “more than a friend, i love you so much y/n l/n.”

“i-i love you too p-peter parker.”

peter smiled widely, stroking your cheek slightly before leaning in kissing your lips. it was as fireworks where exploding. the kiss tasted like salt from the tears and blood, but in was filled with pure love and adoration.

peter moved away to meet your eyes smiling slightly. but, his smile soon disappeared when he noticed your eyes were glazed.

“n-no,” peter shook you violently, “wake up! wake up! don’t you dare leave me.”

seconds passed, and you weren’t responding to peter’s desperate calls.

“y-y/n, i can’t live without you.” he whispered into your ear, letting his sobs out.

he told you he loved you. but, it was too late. you have left him, and peter hates himself for it.

“i love you, y/n.” peter spoke to the empty room.

————

a/n - wow okay, this is super sad. i think i cried twice while writing this ahah. if you have any requests comment below or dm me! thanks for reading x

[fantasticstoryteller]

New Dynasty Chapter 43

“It would be Oscorp,” muttered Spiderman from his vantage point.

Wade frowned under his mask. “I thought that serum you and Rich Boy invented fixed whatever was making him unstable.”

“Only if he kept taking it.” Spiderman ran a hand over his mask.

[You know—we’re not in New York. If we come across Osborn here we could kill him.]

{After all that hard work Peter put into saving the man? He’d be devastated!}

Yeah, Spidey wouldn't like it if I killed his best friend’s father, Wade thought to them. And to tell the truth, Wade kind of liked Harry. Sure the kid had a chip on his shoulder, but he seemed to be a good friend for Peter.

[And there was that whole incident where he didn’t even flinch when you stabbed the wall next to his head.]

{Well, he told us to get out of town and leave Peter alone!}

“Not helping,” muttered Wade.

A breeze lazily blew over the two of them. From the way the men were dressed, they were cold, but the two costumed men were fine. Wade’s leather effectively blocked all the breezes, and Peter’s suit had an automatic tendency to acclimate towards the cold. If not for the huge complex in front of them and all the trees around them, it could have been just another night on a rooftop.

The communicator in Wade’s suit (and presumably Spiderman’s) crackled to life. “There’s a second building behind the main facility. It looks like a loading dock of some kind, and something’s being moved,” Iron Man told them from his position—wherever that was. His new suit camouflage was great.

“There’s something going on inside as well,” Natasha told them. Somehow she had gotten in. None of them were asking how she did it. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but there’s a lot of champagne toasting, laughing, and a giant metal box that has a ridiculously huge red bow on it.”

“Sounds like they finished what they were doing,” murmured Bruce from—wherever he was at. The only one who didn’t stay hidden from Wade on mission was Peter. And Natasha, but Natasha had made sure to point out that while she couldn’t permanently kill him, she could, easily, make sure that he couldn't get back up for a while if he got to be a danger on the mission.

[Like we’d ever put Spidey in danger!]

{On purpose.}

“More importantly,” Wade said ignoring the boxes, “none of the guards are professionals. Legit mercs and merc companies wouldn't go near this job.”

“Probably heard how little Norman pays his employees,” muttered Tony.

Oscorp and Stark Industries had a strange rivalry going. While people muttered about how callous Oscorp treated its employees, Stark Industries had been voted as the best workplace in the country three years in a row. And except for a few pointed barbs, neither man commented on the rivalry.

“Think Norman knows what these idiots are up to?” asked Natasha. “I don’t see any sign of him being in here.”

A thin sliver of tension left the spider’s shoulders. Maybe Norman was taking the medicine regularly. Or maybe not. It was too soon to say.

[Too bad he’s not here. We should still kill him for wanting us to kill Spiderman.]

{He gave up on that idea though!}

“Guys,” Natasha said, “if we’re going to move, we need to do it now.”

“All right! Into the fray!” said Tony. There was an explosion.

{Why aren’t we allowed to blow anything up!}

[We blew up that wall back in Chapter 11!]

{And what chapter are we in now?}

Both Wade and Spiderman got up and ran into the building. Spiderman knocking people out and Wade—not killing them. They might die if they don’t get medical attention soon, but he’s not killing them.

[I’m not sure Spidey will appreciate the difference if they die…]

{Die, shmie! I want something cool to happen! Like explosions we get to make!}

Ignoring the pin pad box by the door Deadpool sliced the knob off and it swung open as the two costumed men swarmed inside, Spiderman spinning web after web as Deadpool didn’t kill people.

In the center of the room was a giant box. It was ten feet tall, made of metal, and appeared to have vents in it. On the top, as Natasha reported was a giant red bow that covered the entire top of the cage. The edges of the ribbon even had lace on it.

{Open the box!}

[It might be a trap!]

Open the box Wade. The control panel is too your left.

Wade turned to see, attached to the giant dolly the box was on, a control panel with a single red button on it. Seriously? Just the one button?

Don’t argue with my artistic sense Wade. Just push the button. And you might want to take about three steps back when you do.

“NO!” screamed one of the scientists, easily labeled by his lab coat, as Deadpool approached the box. He turned looking for the other members of Deadpool’s team. “DON’T LET HIM OPEN IT!”

Wade pushed the button and jumped back the required three steps as the panel of the box in front of him slid down. He looked up into the eyes—of a velociraptor.

Please Wade. Real raptors have feathers. This is a scientifically engineered creature straight from my nightmares because I was way too young to watch Jurassic Park when it first came out.

How old—?

None of your business. Now, see the black box on the creature’s chest? Smash it.

Barely noticing that the fight was screeching to a standstill around him, Wade shrugged. “You’re the boss,” he said to the author before stepping forwards to punch the box.

As it broke a few of the pieces pierced his hands releasing the necessary few drops of blood to activate the mechanism. Almost instantly, as his hand healed of the damage, he could feel the raptor in the back of his mind, snorting with hunger, with desire, with the need to hunt. He slowly turned and looked at the scientists and amateur mercenaries. A smile broke across his face as several of the ones staring at him lost what little color they still had.

Have fun Wade.

“Yee-haw!” wailed Wade as the creature roared, showing off all her perfectly shaped, conical teeth. Wade pulled both katanas from their sheaths and dove back into the fray as the creature waved her clawed hands in mimicry and dove on one of the gunmen swiftly eviscerating him with talons on her feet. The creature, catching Wade’s excitement and blood lust, didn’t even stop to feed. It moved on to attack the next the gunman.

The man was unlucky enough to fire several bullets that hurt the creature—but she had Wade’s blood. Enough of Wade’s blood that her wounds healed almost as quickly as the bullets pierced straight through her scaled flesh. She roared with hurt and rage at the man who had injured her and leaped on him, pinning his shoulders with her taloned hands as her foot came up and her controllable claw crept up us torso and dug in, near his shoulder, until it hit his rib cage and she pulled him apart to leave him gasping as he slowly, painfully died.

“Damn you’re dark today,” Wade said as he stabbed more people with his swords.

Shut up, it’s been a long week.

As Wade spun and kicked another opponent, he got a glimpse in the back of his mind of a distinctive red and blue suit. “No!” yelled Wade instinctively reaching through the bond. “You can’t kill Spidey!” The creature looked around and, through her eyes, he saw that Spiderman was surrounded by gunmen and clutching a bleeding shoulder. “Protect Spiderman!” he ordered.

The creature roared her assent to the order, slipped her narrow head under Spiderman’s body, and lifted until he slid down her neck to rest on her back before she leaped into action once more. Bullets flew at her and she twisted to protect the spider clinging with confusion to her back—and lasers flew out of her eyes to melt several of the guns.

“She has laser eyes!”

Yes. And none of this “Oh no, must keep the glasses/goggles on at all times” junk. She has perfect control over her laser eyes. And that’s not all she can do.

A small line of men, on a catwalk above the action, aimed their weapons at the creature. Wade saw it, showed her through the bond what was happening, and she roared before a flickering blue light surrounded her—just in time to bounce the bullets back into the men who shot them leaving both the creature and the man on her back unharmed. The creature parted its lips in satisfaction—and hunger.

“She can use a force field!”

Yes Wade. Oh, and she’s going to need fed soon. She eats hamburgers.

“Hamburgers?”

Not the whole thing—just the meat. They don’t even have to be cooked—there’s not a parasite in the world that can kill her.

Wade leaped up with a cheer and knocked over a cardboard box that fell over and opened to reveal Stetson cowboy hats. Without thinking he snagged two of them as the creature ran over to him and he leaped up on the back of it behind Spiderman. Then, before the costumed hero could blink, he placed hats on each of their heads.

“Okay people!” they heard Iron Man say over the communicator. “This place is done for; let’s get out of here!”

“Onward, honorable Bea Arthur!” said Wade firmly and the creature roared again before dashing out of the building—managing to jump on several of the downed “soldiers” on the way out.

As they left the building Spiderman began to shake and Wade slid an arm around him. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. As soon as they were a safe distance away Bea slid to a stop on the snow and Wade jumped off to help Spiderman down—only to see that the costumed hero was laughing. “What is it?” asked Wade.

He laughed harder before he could explain. “We just—rode a—dinosaur—that shoots—lasers!”

“Spidey? Peter?” asked Wade worriedly.

He’s fine Wade. The shoulder wound is shallow and he’s just reacting to the stress.

[Is he panicking?]

{Let’s kiss him and make it better!}

“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” muttered Wade. He ripped off his mask, ripped off Spiderman’s mask, and planted a firm kiss on the younger man’s mouth, stopping the hysterical laughter.

They slowly broke apart and Peter smiled. “Great idea Yellow,” he murmured.

“Feeling better?” asked Wade.

Peter pulled him closer. “Not yet,” he said.

“Oh, well, we better try again then.” Wade bent down for another kiss as the building exploded behind them. Wade broke away, looked at the fiery explosion, and grinned at his husband. “Epic,” he said. Peter simply pulled him in for another kiss.

“I hate to break this up,” they heard through the communicator, “but we’re getting a distress signal from Xavier’s mansion. Given that we all have children there, we might want to see what’s going on.”

The two men sighed, stopped kissing, and just held each other for a moment. “All right,” said Peter as he picked up his mask from the ground. “Let’s go make sure Arachne is okay.”

“Can we stop at a BK on the way?” asked Wade. “Bea Arthur really needs to eat and I don’t want her to decide that we’re food.”

[icarus-imagines]

Alois Trancy X Male!Gay!Reader

May I request an Alois Trancy X Male (Gay) Reader? I would appreciate one so much! I want Alois and the gay male to be bedmates for the old man. Thank you.

Word Count: 2,131

Category: Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji

~Eternity~

"Are you cold?"

"Hmm?" Your head snaps up at the sudden voice that sliced the earlier silence enveloping the big cells which held you and several boys who were also held captive.

Your eyes raise from the female maidservants passing through who you were watching earlier, washing some of the boys off with buckets full of water, to a boy to your right realizing it was Alois. A smile graces your features as you stare over at him. He wasn't one to talk much ever since you two had met,  frankly that had been the first thing he had ever said to you in quite a long time. You shook your head your (H/c)  locks swishing a bit at the gesture.   "Īe, I'm alright."

You hug your knees tighter to your chest, knowing it was a lie.  The floors made of cold hard stone was beyond freezing underneath your mostly naked body that only had a towel like a skirt wrapped around your hip like everybody else, not helping you were quite a modest due to your upraising in life unlike most of the others. Water dumped from the buckets nearby seeped into the stone cracks, some making its way into your shared area. Thankfully you had both snagged a corner where it was the driest and was shadowed for more privacy.

A gasp almost leaves your mouth as an arm wraps around you from behind your back,  then your shoulder, dragging you close into a chest. You freeze but realize it was only Alois. It shocked you due to the fact he had never shown 'affection' before.  You slowly relaxed relishing in the warmth brought on by his body. 

Stealing a glance towards his face his usually cold lifeless eyes had softened making them look 'normal'.  Though you could still see a hint of a secret rage similar to that of an ocean storm occurring. Likely from his past. His hair, though a bit grimy, was shiny and looked soft with the light blond color adorning it. But what surprised you the most was his lips. He seemed to be smiling. Or more evidently smirking,  to better suit him. It was small and would only be seen if you knew what to look for closely. 

"You liar," Aloi's murmurs, "you could have just told me you were... "

His voice trails off his tone almost emitting dissatisfaction and disgust towards the receiver. But you just continued grinning knowing he didn't really mean what he had said towards you.

"Whatever you say," you whisper softly as your hand reaches up swiftly, to the small singular cowlick protruding from his head angled to the left, and flicking it nonchalantly before bringing your hand back down. "Jim. "

You momentarily feel him tense,  before it disappears as if nothing happened. Though against your normal nature you liked teasing him whenever you two were alone and in private together. But you always knew when it went too far. And knowing Alois's past you had to be extra careful where you prodded into for the enjoyment of joking around with him. Thankfully you had not gone too far and had gotten him to smile slightly.

Thinking for a few moments you snuggle further into his chest sadness overtaking your form remembering once again the situation you two were still in. Being sold to a boy-loving rich elderly man was something you had not thought yourself being capable of. But unfortunately, it had happened when you had run away from your family after you had confessed dear things about yourself. You, not being able to wait for an answer, escaped to only be caught by small-town villagers that sold you quickly. All of them clearly happy they had gotten pieces of gold for your body. Quite selfish,  you thought to yourself

You bat away the sad thoughts with an imaginary hand flick, even though you knew they would never truly go away. Fiddling with your fingers you ask Alois a small question,  almost cringing as you hear your voice crack a bit. "Do you think we will ever escape? Or be free...?"

It unsettled you the way the air hung heavy after those words,  but you ignored it desperate for an answer from the closest person you considered a friend in this hell hole.

"Yes, " he simply states, his voice completely steady unlike yours had been.  (E/c) eyes widening the slightest at the casual response you lift your head,  looking through your (H/c)  hair, to see his expression. He seemed to be smirking again though something in his eyes scared you,  never before seen such a look from him before. He turns to you a little too slow for your liking but nevertheless smiles. "No matter what we will escape the grasp of this horrid 'Queen's Spider'.  And after that, we will have all the time in the world. "

You relax returning his facial expression feeling lighter than air. Nodding enthusiastically you agree without a hint of regret. Alois keeps the smile on his face as he gazes at you. He lays his head on your shoulder entirely. 

"Go to sleep, we will have a lot to do tomorrow... "

You would both get out of here...

No matter the cost...

Unfortunately, if you had known the cost beforehand you would have never agreed...

~*~*~*~

~Not Too Long Ago~

"Oh, they must be the new ones... "

You lift up your head, new to a sound other than muffled crying from other boys, horseshoes, and the creak of the wagon. To be greeted by two middle-aged men talking as the wagons containing not only you but about twenty or so other boys passed by. 

"No wonder he's called the Queen's Spider. Even the way he eats is spider-like. "

You lean closer trying to continue hearing the conversation.

"Unfortunately the prey caught in his web... He consumes their noble purity to the last drop. "

"How horrible... "

You mentally nod agreeing but stop short as you silently bump into the person next to you due to your earnest attempt to listen to their conversation. Frantically embarrassed you offer a quick apology. 

"Gomenesai! " you start. "I wasn't watching myse-" you cut off your own blabbering nervously looking up at the person.

Revealing it to be a person with platinum blond hair and cool blue eyes. He stared at you without any words, and though he wasn't intending it seemed as if he was piercing you simply with his small gaze.

Deciding to ease the tension you introduce yourself to him hoping you would succeed. "M-my name is (Y/n) (L/n).  And you are? "

He stares a bit longer, it looks as if he was thinking for a bit.

Did he forget his own name?

"A-Alois," he begins,  but his voice grows steadier with each word.  "Alois Trancy."

You nod giving him a small smile. But frown a bit at his semi-surprised expression. He answers your question as he speaks.

"You don't seem like the rest of us... "

You shrug not sure how were set apart, though it did appear you were different. "I guess they haven't broken my spirit yet. And I won't let them. "

He offers the faintest of smiles to you before watching the scenery go by before saying,  "Well,  I hope they don't... "

~*~*~*~

~Present Time~

Your eyelids crack open, (E/c) eyes traveling this way and that remembering where you are. Recalling the events that had happened until now. Along with how your relationship with Alois had progressed from strangers to something complicated and special.

Yet another day in hell. You bring the thin blanket over yourself, in the wooden cubicle like a box, thankful your were warm enough to still be surfing in these unliveable conditions.

Just as your about to doze you are startled by loud gasps and breaths for air. Peering up you see Alois,  his golden hair more disheveled than normal, his eyes slightly shaking. And for some odd reason, you could almost seem to hear him say 'A demon'. But it must have just been your head messing with you.  Beside that fact, you arise from the small bed and reach out an (S/c) hand on his shoulder.

He turns around quickly easily startled,  but his expression and breaths soften realizing it's just you. "Are you alright? " you ask still groggy from being woken up late. Alois merely nods, but still looks unnerved.

Turning to you he seems shy and reluctant,  but he confronts you. "Is it alright if I sleep with you tonight...

Without a second thought, you nod scooting over to make room for him. He slid in easily overlapping his own blanket with your (F/c) one. Both of you laying back down once more you stare at him, transfixed at his beautiful features.

It had unnerved you earlier when the old man had said Alois's eyes were the color of rust stuck to the bottom of a drain pipe. You, on the contrary, thought his eyes reminded you of the outside sky. Though cliché it was due to the fact you nor most of the other boys had seen the outside world in such a long time. So peering into his eyes reminded you what the day used to look like.

Snapping out of your thoughts you looked worriedly at Alois still unnerved by the way he had woken up earlier. "Did you have a nightmare? "

Alert from your voice he stares down at you since he was still taller even in a bed with you, he nods ashamed he could get scared of such a small thing. Since he was supposed to be the person scared of nothing out of the two you.

"Y-yes, but... Now that I am here with you I'll be alright..., " he remarks intertwining his fingers with yours. Using his other hand he cups your (slim/chubby/ round/oval/etc)  cheek. Your eyes widen perplexed at his statement.

Cheeks heating a fiery red, which you are sure he can feel by now, you merely tighten your grip on his fingers in yours, not wanting to let go anytime soon. "No matter what,  we'll be together forever right? "

Removing the hand from your cheek he wraps it around your (Body/type) waist,  his forehead touching yours.

"Of course we will. That perverted old man won't be able to keep us apart no matter what we go through."

Grinning you yawn still sleep deprived. Alois takes note of this and impishly smiles. "Sorry, for waking you up. But you can sleep now. I'll be here in the morning and we'll run away together... "

~*~*~*~

~Extra Ending~

True to his word Alois had gotten you both out of that cruel place with the help of a butler clad in black, that to your knowledge was actually a demon. Though you didn't like him, finding him very suspicious from the moment you set your sight on him for the first time, you still put up with him due to how much you cared for Alois.

(You never forgot that Alois had to be touched by the pervert after everything had happened. You had to scold him, yet his response was if you had wanted to be his first instead. To which you couldn't answer from severe blushing and stuttering.)

It was true not long after escaping you had confessed to liking him more than just a friend and even a brother. Expecting to be rejected you were surprised when Alois shared exactly the same view. Making you both even more joyful than you both had already been. Even more so when Alois had unexpectedly told you he could still become the heir to the Trancy Manor. (How it happened you didn't know, but did you really care?)

The events leading up to everything occurring with the Earl Ciel Phantomhive and his demon Butler Sebastian Michaelis hadn't driven you away from Alois. But had brought you closer, even with Alois's personality reopening.

Being devoured by Hannah, yet another demon Alois had encountered (Not including the triplets), made you happy. You could 'live' for eternity by Alois's side along with Hannah and Alois's cute younger brother Luka, who quickly took a special liking to you. 'Life' had never been better.

The future you had built with Alois...

Would last for an eternity...

That you were absolutely sure of...

[akiwisfics]

In the Middle Chapter 2

Notes: Cross-posted from AO3. If people get annoyed by this, please savior “kiwi crossposts” to save your eyes.

Description:  The war's over, but the mess is still left behind. Kasumi finds herself among the wreckage with unexpected companions and questions that seem almost impossible to answer for. Life keeps moving forward, however, and the surprises it leaves behind aren't always pleasant ones.

Pairings: KasumixSha’ira

--

Kasumi let very few truths into her world, but if there was ever one thing that remained so consistently true throughout her life it was that fixing things took hell of a lot longer than taking them. Of course, she was familiar with both concepts to a certain degree, a necessary part of her career. And right now, fixing the damn communications tower seemed to be about the only thing she was good for.

Which, she supposed, wasn’t an entirely new thing either. The Normandy had been kinda like that. Cerberus had been a shady organization for sure, filled to the brim with monsters, fiends, and even more human like people, all with some shades of color in their history, but as soon as Shepard became involved, there wasn’t so much stealing as trying not to die, and that one trip through the boiling vents.

Some mornings she still woke up with the stench of melting flesh stuck to her nostrils, and would fill her taste buds for hours afterward, to the point where she couldn’t eat without thinking about a different kind of cannibal. It was almost a shame that she was used to the mixture of influences even the most heroic of characters left her.

Taking, taking was a lot easier. Taking precious treasure, taking lives. In the end, it was the same principle, and usually one led to the other, didn’t matter the start. It wasn’t a worry any longer as it stood, after years. A moral crisis would’ve come much sooner anyway.

But fixing things had been the start of it. The batarians understood some of the basics after all, just not always the practice of it. In order to break and take efficiently you needed to know how it worked. In order to know how it worked, you had to start fixing and playing with it.

The plate still itched when one of the engineers pulled her away from the mine. At the time she had simply called him green boots. For years afterward, all she would know about him was the muddy grass smell on him and the web of scars that formed his hands. The camp at the time was pretty small, just along the side of a valley.

The varren barks trailed behind them with their crunching feet to the cliff side overlooking sharp rocks she’d hear desperate others talking about jumping on sometimes. Kasumi couldn’t recall if anyone had done it, whether out of genuine ignorance or repression, and she was far too young and stupid to consider it at the time.

Only staring at it numbly, resisting the urge to claw the healing skin at her neck away. Green boots had a throaty laugh to him that in maybe friendlier contexts would be comforting. However, for a child, it was a sentence of death sometimes.

"I’d focus, Pyjak," he had rumbled into her ear, "that’s where you’ll be going if you fuck up."

But she’d always been a very good student. Sometimes, the lights of the machines coming to life would remind her of the whites of Ashok’s smile. It was more comforting than it should’ve been.

Most of the mornings she spent working on it had been a misty spring, cool against her skin and easy to draw a small smile to her face. It was always easier to breathe when there was something more natural about the atmosphere, where she can experience the real sun and blistering heat to this. However the adjustment wasn’t the same for everyone.

That said, she liked the turian widow fine. When he bothered to talk, he seemed to actually know whatever he was talking about. The grief was so plain on his face though that too often his company only served as an uncomfortable reminder of what she still didn’t have. They were too familiar with each other she thought.

It took about three days for him to say anything about their arrangement. The city was large, but so crushed under its own weight that it was difficult to find resources that couldn’t be claimed by alliance during the war. It was easy to get a list together and send him on his way.

The third day though, he stood there for a moment, looking at the list with a twitch of the mandibles. “You’re very efficient.”

"Comes with a lot of experience. You’re not too bad yourself."

"As much as an errand boy can be."

She laughed and was happy to return to her work on the tower instead. She was just starting to pick up a signal from it. “No offense. Easier to work alone.”

When Kasumi glanced to him from the tower, the widow was playing with the data pad in his hands, turning it this way and that. “Have you always been alone?”

"What, with working?"

"In any context."

"Well. Most everyone has had some company in their time. That’s not really a fair question."

He plopped down beside her, feet dangling over the edge of the building they had it stationed. The thing about towers is that they needed space and height. Of the small street their camp was occupying, it was the most fortified building on the block. Some traces of Alliance left behind, with blocks and plywood forming makeshift steps leading to the roof. The widow’s steps were heavy, and seemed to whine with each step of the plywood.

"It’s important enough that you made me an errand boy just to avoid me."

"I’ve been alone longer than you have. Does it bother you?"

He gave it some thought, hands on his knees, and slightly hunched over, awkwardly so with the hump on his back. Turians were strange ones sometimes; one of the few species she’d yet to really work out. Kasumi wasn’t about to over this sort of company. “Not really. A little confusing is all.”

"I’d leave it at that. You don’t seem like the type to have big heart to hearts with near strangers."

He laughed, something big and loud— deep and almost guttural about it. “I’ll give you that!” And for once, the damn man smiled, or as close as a turian could to smiling as he looked out back toward the camp.

Kasumi was just happy for some quiet. The panel damage was more complicated than she thought, some of the wires missing inside, rarer components. It was an older model, to be sure. She just hoped that the dead gods wouldn’t mess with it once she did get it working. So far luck was on their side at least.

After a minute or so he finally stood, shoulders relaxed for once in the trip. It was a shame that suddenly she felt so much more tense. “She did say I needed to get out more.” He glanced to her, mouth outstretched with more words that didn’t quite reach his platey lips before it finally closed, and he covered it with a cough.

No. Other than that, there wasn’t much remarkable about the third day. The nice thing about working so high up was how much she could watch the others from down below without interruption, not unlike the evenings she would spend in the citadel catwalks as the wards thrived below. In a way, there was power in it, to see and hold secrets that no one wanted her to hold, but there was a sense of serenity in it too. A form of silence and understanding she could never quite describe to someone, not unless they felt it for themselves.

It was only a shame that so few seemed to. For now she merely contented herself in understanding the routines of the others, to know their lives with some intimacy without having to talk to them. It was much easier that way, to give herself less chances to give away the vital information.

The red salarian was usually up first, cigarette placed between his lips as he perched himself on the sidewalk somewhere. It would almost be the perfect image of stoicism if not for the excitement that would show on his face whenever someone came by, usually the hulking krogan that took it upon himself to do a quick search around the perimeter just in case. From there, they would walk off, usually together. They made sure to be back by the evening.

Next was the drell, who sometimes joined her at her roof sanctuary. Rarely she said anything during her visits, other than maybe odd observations at times, some even Kasumi wouldn’t notice. There was something to appreciate about it, though the woman was rather strange.

One morning before, while the drell tried to share some sort of bird that she caught, she pointed out in the street to a familiar sight of the widow with a grin. “He’s helping you right?”

"None of the others seemed too willing."

"You know he comes back during the day to check in, right. Weird though, he only does it with the turian girl. No one else." The chuckle that was vibrating from her throat was much less attractive with the pieces of flesh stuck between her teeth.

"Think they knew each other before this?"

"That or asari might have some competition."

Kasumi hummed. “He seems a little older.”

"How can you tell?"

"Older ones just have a… Thing to them. Like they don’t have enough patience for diplomacy and the mushy stuff."

"Oh. He does seem kinda crabby." She hadn’t stayed long after that, but Kasumi couldn’t help noticing the same thing afterward, how he seemed to be relying on the other turian’s company than she would’ve initially guessed. The drell was good for that sort of thing, but her food choices could make her bad company at times.

The volus would be out next, usually around the same time as the couple, and the three would often catch each other on the way. They chatted, usually rather animatedly, though with the asari much less enthused over it. If anything, it confirmed something she already knew about the woman: she was simply straight combat. Biotics were… Difficult. She never really knew what to do with biotics other than killing them quickly.

Her first blip would come in on the third day. Salarian voice. Somewhere in the old university. It was comforting.

The elcor wasn’t far behind the volus, and she didn’t see but so much hear it’s heavy steps from where she worked. He usually circled the fire a few times in looking for the volus, and greeted most anyone that was still in the camp with the best enthusiasm an elcor could make. The batarian priest was usually close by around that time.

She didn’t know if the priest slept. On the fourth day, when a bit of an asari’s voice would come in, the priest had stopped by to visit her. The harsh shadows of the evening then, chilly and windy from high atop, only seemed to add to his age, which had to have been advanced already. The top two symbols indicated rank. He owned something likely, something big. It was ashes now.

He refused to look at her. “Have you been adjusting well?”

"Easier when there’s something to do."

He sat beside her without invitation, watching for a few moments. The study was benign she knew, but the beady eyes and heavy set frown always set Kasumi’s teeth on edge with the expectation of a strike following. “Did you learn how to do this from the city you grew up in?”

Her hand slipped from the wire she was working on. “No.”

"You’re quite delicate with it."

"You know," and she ducked below the base, if anything just to avoid more looks from the priest, "anyone ever tell you that was a little unnerving? I’m sure you’re real popular with the whole studying habit."

He didn’t seem concerned over that in the slightest, instead turning back to the campsite. “Forgive me then.”

"There’s nothing to say."

"Plenty. The surgery alone must have been painful."

Kasumi paused. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as it being put on. “If you’re looking for pity, I’d go elsewhere, priest. I’m not dead.” It was more than her masters could say. His presence lingered however for some time, hours it seemed that stretched into a near eternity of awkwardness. It wasn’t until the widow returned that early afternoon with her materials that he chose to leave.

There was something private about it, nothing that could be explained even under the widow’s quietly questioning eyes. She had merely shrugged it off before getting distracted by the third blip, another salarian, tone more questioning than the last one.

The pilot and Sha’ira were almost always the last ones to leave their tent. She could believe the pilot taking so long, as he seemed to be up longer stretches during the evening than the red salarian, and usually wasn’t going to bed until they were all getting up. However, Sha’ira, she knew from her time watching, wasn’t a late sleeper.

Through the week, it seemed easy to ask, but her visits to the roof hadn’t ever seemed to be about conversation. Kasumi always knew when she was coming, for the quick patter of steps, while delicate, seemed to be a little fragile on the plywood. Maybe out of concern that it would break underneath. Her steps weren’t quiet.

The consort studied with something akin to professional admiration, Kasumi thought. It was inherently interested, and felt sorta familiar with the way she had watched her. A small sort of smile would fall on Sha’ira’s lips, and even though her visits would be short and quiet, she seemed to always walk away as if she learned something new from the visit.

Sha’ira’s visit on the fifth day coincided with the tower coming to life again. It seemed almost impossible, with the way it suddenly spun, and how all at once her ear piece had been filled with static. It seemed to dance for her even, and it was with a sigh of relief that she began searching through the channels.

Something cold pressed against the side of her neck, smooth and so concentrated that it made her jump from the sudden sensation. “Geez!” The laughter escaped Sha’ira then was light, fluttering, and surprisingly honest with it.

"I apologize, but you seemed so focused." There was still a cheeky smile on her when she looked, something a little lighter, a little freer than before as she pulled the bottle away. Almost right away, it was something distinct with its dark color and the chill.

"Beer doesn’t seem your style, Consort."

"Is this really the place for champagne?"

She grinned and took the bottle offered to her, welcoming the slight reprieve it gave. Sha’ira slid into the seat next to her daintily, legs crossed and making the reds and oranges of her dress flow against her calves. Freckles there too, but lighter, barely noticeable. Kasumi wasn’t going to look too hard. “It’s more about a mood anyway,” she provided instead, “And we are celebrating.”

"I suppose if there are anyone to talk to in this city." She opened her bottle, twisting the lid with a quick flick. "…and it would be nice to hear how my mother is doing."

"Is she at Thessia?"

"Thought it would be best to help home first."

"But?"

Sha’ira smiled. “We all have a debt, don’t we? Earth could be a very beautiful place.”

"I almost feel offended."

"It’s not your home either."

That was true. Kasumi made a small noise in response and stared at the swishing liquid. There was some rowdiness below them. The red salarian liked to entertain the others some afternoons, usually with various card games. She couldn’t say she had much experience with salarian ones other than that they were exceedingly complicated and grew more so as the game continued. She spent many hours wondering if she would see blood splatter from the krogan head-butting the poor guy out of frustration.

"He says he knows you. Sal."

"That’s interesting." The name sounded it, but there were plenty that she came across during her time and not nearly enough was in her to care to remember those that didn’t matter. If he was a threat, that was a problem, but a man that spent time every day to confuse the hell out of their group wasn’t really worth it.

“So is it true then? We have a mutual associate?"

That. That gave her pause. "I'm sure we'd have a few with my line of work."

"And what would that be exactly?"

"Consulting."

Sha'ira gave a dubious look. "I hadn't realized a 'consultant' could grab Shepard's attention enough to warrant recommendation to the Crucible-- or the skills to break into my office."

She grimaced. "Why not? We'll always know more than the buyer." It was too much to hope she wouldn't bring that up again. Meeting victims, even non-victims and people that just happened to be there, was always a very awkward experience. But with Sha'ira, it was a very different experience. Just explaining why she walked away then was enough to dig herself a grave first.

"Is it really so important to be obtrusive about it?"

"About as much as your last name, I guess."

The face she made was almost funny, twisted and a little harsh around the edges of her eyes-- nose scrunched up. "I suppose someone was going to ask."

"It's not like it stops your name from being searched."

"And how much of it is on my life before being a consort?"

Kasumi paused. Thought about it while messing with the channels. "You cover your tracks pretty well. I'll give you that."

"Because we both know what it means to keep a secret." She tentatively touched Kasumi's knee, a gentleness that was unfamiliar to her. Already, Kasumi saw how she was testing boundaries with every bit of the action. "There's nothing on 'Izumi Maeda,' other than Commander Shepard. Anyone could guess that was not a real name."

She only smiled. "What do you think then?"

"About you?" Sha'ira seemed to consider it, idly tapping a finger against her thigh. It wasn't unwelcomed, though strange if she didn't remind herself of the consort's touchiness. "You might have more at stake than I do, and that is why you're so careful about it. Scars suggest experience in fighting... the one on the back of your head is interesting."

Naturally, she scratched at the rough patch of skin, trying to hide the scowl forming on her face.

"But I have a feeling you are not... much for authority, are you? Quite independent."

"You're getting warmer. So is the last name embarrassing in asari culture or something?"

"Far from it."

"But unique enough to make you worried."

Sha'ira returned the smile, a glint in her eyes-- something knowing. She slipped somewhere, though she couldn't see the slip. "Far from it. You may not answer to authority, but you are not stupid either. If you wanted to dig more than what I have given you, you would."

She laughed, and turned away just long enough to look at the omni-tool once more, ignoring the way Sha'ira's hand seemed to stretch and splay against her thigh. Innocent, but strangely intimate-- more than what she was used to. The static became a little less then, into something more like a white noise-- pleasant, comfortable. "There's no fun in that. How many people figure you out without digging?"

"No clients, certainly."

"And I'm not?"

The consort tipped the beer to her lips, smiling. "There hasn't been one in a while."

"You were happy with it."

"... Perhaps." The beer didn't seem to settle on her well. It was a brief change in expression, the way Sha'ira's eyes darkened and she seemed to stare hard into the bottle as if it would change if she just wished it long enough. It was obvious that the choice was made for Kasumi's benefit and not hers. "But even the best of our lives can hurt us if we let it."

"Almost poetic, isn't it?"

Sha'ira shook her head, amusement in her eyes. "I can't say I'm surprised you would be familiar with that."

"You sound pretty certain of it."

"We're far from kidding ourselves at this point, wouldn't you agree?

She laughed and was ready to speak again until she picked up a voice from the ear piece. With a crooked smile, Kasumi shushed Sha'ira and showed the channel on her omni-tool. There was the salarian voice again-- smooth and steady now, with a deep, authoritative inflection to it.

"Any sign?"

Another voice answered, lighter than the last-- almost childish. "Nothing but trash. This'd be a lot easier if we had those plans. All we can tell is basically scrap metal."

"There's some signs of others a couple of miles from your point. They don't seem to be making any headway either."

"That's probably us," Kasumi finally spoke into the earpiece, "If you're finding materials, let me know? It took us forever just to repair this damn tower. I'd hate to have to work this long for something else that might break."

Her first sign that something was wrong was the deafening silence that followed, as if there was some great offense committed. She usually didn't feel that sort of awkwardness except for that one time she broke into a person's house during their dinner party. That hadn't ended well for anyone involved. Somehow, she could guess this wouldn't either.

Finally, Mr. Authority broke the curtain of silence, "Who is this?!"

But Kasumi couldn't speak.

[fluffyseapancakes]

Can you do a Peter Parker x reader fic where they are on Tony's private jet going on a mission or something and Peter finds out she's ticklish, and it's really teasey and fluffy? Maybe she doesn't have powers or anything but she's like maybe Bucky's? daughter? and she is a few months younger than Peter but their relationship is platonic. I'm sorry if you don't like my idea. I've never asked before :)

This is so cute! Thank you much for submitting it, I’m sorry it took so long my life’s been hectic with work and adulthood ;_; I hope you like it!!!

________________________________________

You and Peter were what Tony called, “Avengers in training.” The title sounded cool but really all you two did were train for a few hours a day and stop petty crimes around the neighborhood. Peter happily pursued after bicycle thieves and shoplifters, but you desperately wanted more.

“Please dad, take me on your next mission,” you begged your father Bucky Barnes. He sighed and put his cybernetic prosthetic arm on your shoulder. “Y/N, you need more time training, these missions are not meant for kids.”

You stormed out of the room nearly in tears and closed yourself off in your room. Peter was able to see action and fight with the Avengers a couple times, but it seemed like Tony was afraid of sending you on missions because you were younger and didn’t have any powers to protect yourself. You were extremely skilled in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, and your father taught you how to use military weapons so you felt like you were trained enough to fight along with your family. Apparently they thought otherwise.

…

You twirled your pencil between your fingers and lazily looked out the window. The physics teacher was droning on about inertia and gravity or something, and you felt like your brain was going to explode. All you could think about was the empty Stark Tower you were going home to because everyone was on a top secret mission in Serbia.

“No parties,” Tony sternly ordered, “no boys except for Peter and don’t touch my suits.”

“Yes sir,” you rolled your eyes. All you wanted to do was blast music on Tony’s brand new sound system, dance like a lunatic, and sing at the top of your lungs. That was your biggest stress reliever and unfortunately you could only do it when the Avengers were gone.

A faint vibration in your back pocket snapped you out of your thoughts. Making sure the teacher wasn’t paying attention, you sneakily took out your phone and looked at the message on the screen.

MEET @ HOME ASAP. NEED U ON MISSION -TS

You felt your heart skip a beat as you read the text and immediately you grabbed your backpack and ran out the classroom. The students gasped in surprise and you heard your teacher yelling out your name as you dashed down the hallway to the exit.

“Y/N!”

You turned around to see Peter racing behind you, he was clearly in gym class because he was wearing the ugly athletic shorts and shirt.

“What’s going on?” You shoved the school doors open and the both of you sprinted towards the direction of the Stark Tower. You started to appreciate the long runs that your dad made you go on every morning, the school wasn’t too far from the tower but an untrained person would keel over at the speed that you were running.

“No idea,” Peter panted, you appreciated that he was running with you instead of using his webs to get there easier and faster.

Finally you and Peter reached the doors of the Stark Towers and bursted though the doors. Tony was standing in the room with a grave expression on his face.

“Are the Avengers ok Mr. Stark?” Peter panted, he wiped away the sweat on his forehead and was breathing heavily from the exertion.

“For now,” he sighed heavily, “we were ambushed a few hours ago and they are hiding in a safe house. Fury can’t dispatch extra hands until tomorrow and we don’t have that much time, so I flew here to grab you two.” Tony crossed his arms and shifted his eyes between you and Peter.

“This is a very dangerous mission and I understand if you don’t want to go,” he continued, “but I fully believe that you two are ready and the Avengers really needs some assistance.”

“Of course Mr. Stark!” Peter became filled with newfound energy and rubbed his hands together in excitement.

“I’m in,” you grinned, you felt pure happiness bubble up inside you and you had to pinch yourself in case this was all a dream. Tony led you two to a car waiting outside with all of your necessities already packed in heavy duty suitcases. The car peeled out to a private airport and Tony continued to talk about the mission.

The Avengers were dispatched to Serbia to take down one of Hydra’s weaponry factories but as soon as they entered its grounds, they were attacked by highly trained and armed soldiers. They were easily overtaken and barely escaped without major injuries. Thankfully Fury had arranged a safe house for them and they are hiding there until they get backup. After finding out that Fury couldn’t send backup right away, Tony flew back to New York with barely enough fuel left to grab you and Peter.

“I need you two to help us get through those soldiers and once we’re in, you’re stepping back. Is that clear?” You’ve never seen him be so serious and you felt a pang of fear in your gut.

“What do you mean stepping back?” Peter asked, “We can do more than that, what if you guys get attacked again?”

“Then we’ll contact Fury,” Tony glared at him, “this is incredibly dangerous and I already hate sending you kids in this mess. You are not following us into the facility. That is an order.”

The rest of the ride was silent and tense, when you saw the airport emerge from a distance, you sighed with relief.

“So who are we flying with today?” You tried to joke lightheartedly, “Delta? United? American Airlines?”

“Stark Industries,” he smirked, “it’s outdated and small but it’ll get the job done.”

“That’s small?” Peter blurted out. You looked out the window and gasped as you saw the large aircraft waiting on the tarmac. It could probably fit the entire Avengers team plus a few more, knowing Tony, he probably had some fun times in that plane.

The car came to a halt and you stepped out to have the roar of the engines pierce your ears.

“Good luck,” Tony shouted over the noise, “this was what you have trained for.”

“You’re not coming?” Peter shouted a bit too loudly.

“I have to work on some things here, but you two will be fine,” he looked at you and nodded, “keep an eye on Y/N, she doesn’t have powers like you do.”

You raised your eyebrow at the comment and crossed your arms disapprovingly.

“I don’t need powers to take care of myself thank you very much,” you spat out, Tony laughed and gave you a thumbs up.

“Finally the real Y/N came out, keep that energy when you get there.”

You shook your head and followed Peter up the stairs that led into the plane, you turned around and watched the car drive off and suddenly you felt a wave of fear.

“Come on.”

You looked up at Peter who had a reassuring look on his face, he held out his hand and you gently took it, you felt some of your fear dissipating as he squeezed your hand in understanding. You realized he was scared too, and the two of you slowly walked into the plane.

To your surprise instead of the typical crappy airplane seats, there were comfortable arm chairs and couches lined neatly throughout the cabin. You smiled as you saw the fully stocked bar and a large metal pole that was installed from the ceiling to the floor, typical Tony, you thought to yourself.

“Do you think Mr. Stark will realize if we took some of his booze?” Peter joked, he settled himself into the large couch and you plopped down beside him.

“As if we drink,” you laughed and nudged him in the ribs, “we’re the losers in school remember?”

Peter chuckled and rubbed the area where your elbow met his ribs, he teasingly poked you back in the side, “Correction, I’m the loser and you’re the loner.”

You yelped at the sudden jab and blushed, you pleaded in your mind that Peter didn’t notice and as you slowly turned your head, you saw that he had a shit eating grin on his face.

“Don’t tell me…,” he poked you in the side again and a high pitched giggle came out of your mouth, “big, tough Y/N Barnes is ticklish?”

“I’m not,” you snapped, but then Peter reached over and fully grabbed your side, you doubled over in uncontrollable giggles and feebly swatted his hand away.

“Right,” Peter smirked, “I just can’t believe it…you said all this shit when you saw that I was ticklish but to think that you might be worse than me.”

“Shut up,” you blushed deeply.

“Behind all that sass and backtalk is a little ticklish kid,” he joked, this time he wrapped both of his arms around you and scribbled your belly. You bucked and tried to get out of his arms, streams of laughter poured out of your lips.

“It’s really cute actually, I’m sure the Avengers will love this when I tell them,” he alternated between digging his fingers into your belly and squeezing your ribs. You kicked out in frustration and your loud laughter filled the entire cabin.

“S-shut up!” You squealed, you knew that Peter was just saying this to tease you, but you still felt embarrassed by the situation. A quiet cough suddenly caused Peter to cease the tickling and he looked up to see one of the flight attendants awkwardly standing in front of you.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she quickly stammered out, “we’re preparing for takeoff so please put on your seatbelts.” With that she practically ran off and you sat back up properly to put on your seatbelt. Your face was still red from laughing and your belly ached a bit, you turned to see that Peter was smirking at you.

“What?” You tried to say coldly, but the smile on your face gave it away.

“Nothing,” he laughed, “I just think it’s adorable that you’re ticklish.” You flushed a deeper red and reached out to punch him in the arm.

“I’m a kid, I have an excuse to be ticklish,” you defended yourself. Peter winced at the punch and rubbed his arm.

“Well you’re kinda cold sometimes and your sarcasm is brutal, which I can see you got that from your dad,” he started to explain, “and you’re sassy and you let nothing get into your way. It’s cute to see that someone with those qualities can let themselves laugh so freely and enjoy something like tickling.”

“I didn’t enjoy it!” You basically screeched in embarrassment.

“Then why didn’t you fight back?” He grinned, “You could’ve easily made me stop but you didn’t.”

You stammered, but for the first time in a while, you had no words to say. The only thing you could think of was to pout like a little kid and pretend like Peter wasn’t even there. You could hear him chuckling and gradually you felt the momentum of the plane taking off. This was your first time flying and you desperately wanted to hold onto Peter when the plane hit some turbulence, but you were too stubborn to break your silent treatment. After what felt like hours, the shaking stopped and the plane smoothly flew through the white clouds. The flight to Serbia would typically be nine hours, but Tony had boasted in the car that his plane was designed to be much faster so you estimated that you had only five hours to prepare for your first battle. You turned to Peter and opened your mouth to create a game plan, only to realize that you were giving him the silent treatment. You quickly closed your mouth and hoped he didn’t notice, but he shook his head and patted you endearingly on the head.

“You do realize you don’t have to act like your father or Tony to be taken seriously,” Peter softly said, “you’re not even fifteen yet and you’re already acting like a soldier. Let yourself be a kid for once Y/N.”

You sighed and shook your head, “With the life we have there’s no time to be a kid.”

“You were a kid just a few minutes ago,” Peter smiled, “that was the first time I’ve heard you actually laugh.”

“It was fun I guess,” you admitted, “as if the Avengers will ever tickle me.”

“Oh I’m sure if they find out they’ll never let it go,” he laughed, “believe me, when they figured it out with me I had to hide for a couple days.”

“God if dad ever found out,” you groaned, “and especially Steve teaming up with him.”

Peter chucked and gently bumped your shoulder with his, “It’s because they love you Y/N. We should probably rest up for a few hours before we land, it’s going to be hell when we get here.”

You nodded and settled into your seat, all you could see were clouds through the windows and you felt pure adrenaline and excitement seep into your body. Peter had already pulled his hoodie over his eyes and was starting to nap, you leaned your head back and closed your eyes, trying to relax enough to fall asleep. The family’s going to be back together again, you happily thought as the quiet hum of the engines gently pulled you into darkness.

[theysoofunny]

Death of a Comic

RIP John Witherspoon

The Death of a comic is a sad occasion, John Witherspoon is the latest to be called home. Today, many social media timelines are filled with quotes of "Bang-Bang," the infamous, "you've got to coordinate" and other pearls of comedy gold brought to life by Witherspoon's many characters. Mine for some reason is the underappreciated call of "Dar-by" from his character Loyld on "Black Jesus" and the legendary, "Hoe-cakes" from "Hollywood Shuffle" because after all, hoes gotta eat too.

John Witherspoon's Stellar Resume

Witherspoon's affinity for comedy began in the late 1960s, during that time he built a solid stand-up career and forged friendships with legends like Tim Reid (while he was working on WKRP in Cincinnati and The Richard Pryor Show), Robin Williams (also on The Richard Pryor Show), Jay Leno, and David Letterman. Witherspoon has appeared in a number of television shows and feature films including the Friday series, Hollywood Shuffle, Boondocks, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, Boomerang, Vampire in Brooklyn, The Meteor Man and several others.

Genuine Human Being

As I scan the interwebs for Witherspoon related posts I think of the first and last time we spoke. Though the meetings were 18 years apart he was exactly the same both times, true to himself and his craft. Witherspoon, like most seasoned comics, never tried to make anyone laugh, he simply made it happen. The first time I met the Detroit native was at WJLB radio, in Detroit. Though it was 7:45 am, John had no qualms about finding the nearest liquor store, which I escorted him to.

John Witherspoon was Naturally Funny

We rode the elevator in silence until reaching the ground floor, "Well got-dayumity damn" he shuddered as jack frost whirled from an open door. He was dead serious but it was funny as hell. As-was the moment he remembered the stores' proprietor, "Mo-na" he sang, surprising the middle-aged woman by remembering her name, "You's shole is a pretty woman." What really impressed me was our last meeting in Huntsville Alabama, on his 76th birthday, when he asked about Mona fifteen years after the fact, once again noting how pretty she was. Witherspoon was a genuine human, if he said something, he meant it. Speaking of our last meeting, it was a bittersweet affair. John was performing 5 shows to light crowds in the dead of winter (albeit an Alabama winter), I couldn't tell if he wanted to perform, or had to perform. The latter was worrisome. How can a man who's given so much joy to others be forced to work in such a small town, at 76, on his birthday? Could anybody want to do that? I wanted to ask as we spoke but I was afraid of the answer, either was a heart-breaker. Did he need the money that bad,  . . . or the laughs of an audience?

Comics Rock

Comedians are the lifeblood of entertainment. Their stand-up routines humor hundreds of millions every year, as does their behind-the-scenes writing and on-camera performances. Yet, they're some of the most marginalized, hardest working, people in the world.  A singer can create one hit and live the rest of their lives touring the world and earning royalties (see Bobby McFerrin, Los Del Rio of "Macarena" or any old school artist collecting checks), an actor can earn enough money from one movie to retire (Keanu Reeves made 30 million for one Matrix movie), and most athletes retire by age 35, none of these things apply to comics.

Respect the Legends of comedy, all of them

Comics dedicate their lives to creating new content while living their lives on the road. They live to make others laugh without the promise of riches or retirement, rarely finding time to truly enjoy family or friends. Even some of the bigger stars are treated like expendable livestock by promoters, agents and clubs (not all, but most). Comedians are usually underpaid and overworked with little respect, and when they die the industry moves on as-if nothing happened. John Witherspoon died with dates on the calendar, as of 10:09 am October 30, most of those dates have been removed from calendars and websites. Some don't even mention his death. No RIP's, no tribute to his accomplishments. And this is a LEGEND we're talking about. We can only imagine how the lesser-known heroes of comedy are treated. Last year another comic who loved his craft and the laughter of complete strangers, died. Tarome "Cool-aide" Wright succumbed to cancer at age 47. While many gave the native Detroiter condolences on the web, few truly understand the grind and sacrifice comedians make to people they don't know. I knew Cool-aide and watched his career progress from his very first dates at "Coco's House of Comedy" to the many rooms he hosted and his travels with Lil Duval, he loved making people laugh. He loved to smile. We once crossed paths at a party completely unrelated to comedy, and he was still cracking jokes. He didn't have a microphone, wasn't offered any money, but he performed. That's the life of a comic, jesters for strangers. Anytime, anyplace.

Comedy is a Labor of Love

Comedy is a labor of love that few understand. It's about working day and night to find a perfect word, phrase or sound to make people laugh, then on to the next one. Whether 77 or 47 years old, comedians perform for the love of comedy and the people who enjoy it. Most couldn't walk away if they tried, and believe me, many have tried to walk away. Need proof? Look no further than Eddie Murphy, with a net worth of $120 million dollars (which seems awfully low for his resume) Eddie is planning a new comedy tour. Does he need the money or hassle of touring from city-to-city? Probably not, but he's doing it. He's jumping back into the world of Stand-up comedy because he loves the game, and smiling faces, and we should rejoice.

Support Live Comedy

We should value the genius of comedians and comedic actors before they die. We should appreciate them while their living, and performing for our benefit. Let's add them on social media and interact while they're still alive. Those who appreciate a good laugh should support comed before it becomes a thing of the past, like good television or great books. Comedy is the last bastion of creative thought, let's support it. Show a comic how much they've enriched your life or turned a grey sky blue, buy a ticket, enjoy a show.   John Witherspoon is survived by his wife, Angela Robinson-Witherspoon, whom he married in 1988, their two children, Alexander Witherspoon and John David Witherspoon, and comedy.       Read the full article

[pennys-th0ughts]

A New Beginning 🌱

– You could have a nice job as a chef ¿you know? – Emilee pointed while cleaning her lips with the napkin after emptying her plate.

I smiled at her compliment and took a sip of water. Lunch went pretty well and after that we had some dessert, chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream. Once we finished Emilee took a bag and put some fruits and something to drink inside, a light blanket and a couple of cake slices. She picked up her small purse from the couch and looking at me excited, she said:

– Let’s go. There is a nice place I want to take you…

I accepted her proposition asking her to come with me to the hotel to pick up my things first, the check-out will be soon and I didn’t want to raise any suspicions. She agreed, we took a cab and got there before time; I went up and grabbed the rest of my stuff, signed the check-out book and we left. Fortunately my luggage wasn’t big thus it was slightly comfortable to carry so I took it with me to this place Emilee wanted to go since it will spare us the time to go back to her place. We took a bus in the nearest bus stop and headed there, we were fifteen blocks away from that place so the ride would come in handy.

Almost twenty minutes later we were finally there. We got down of the bus and walked looking for a good spot to sit. We were at the Millennium Park and it was really beautiful, there was a fountain and a little pond with a bridge, some ducks were peacefully floating over the clear water and cleaning their feathers while some koi fishes were at the bottom.

– ¿So? – She asked waiting for my opinion about her choice-. ¿Do you like it?

– This place is surprisingly amazing, doll – I finally said caressing one of Emilee’s cheeks-. ¡I love it!

She took the blanket out of her bag and gave it to me so I put it on the grass, we sat down and she placed her purse to a side. I invited her to use my legs as a pillow so she could rest her head; minutes later I was playing with her hair and caressing her forehead. The few times she looked up and fixed her grayish eyes with mine I could appreciate the beauty of them; they seemed to be like two gray glass marbles being pierced by a ray of light. My eyes went from hers to her pink shiny lips and I got tempted to kiss them, she smiled at my uneasiness, sat down on my legs and kissed me out of the blue merging her fingers with my hair.

– I love the coper color of your hair – she said undoing my pony tail once more-. It looks like…

– Fire – we both said at the unison.

Emilee looked at me half puzzled half playful then she just hugged me like a koala bear; I returned the hug pressing her against my body tenderly as if she was made of the most fragile crystal. We spent some minutes that way, in silence, just feeling the warmth of our bodies, the almost palpable beating of our hearts and hiding the feverish passion we were being slaves of. In that precise moment I felt it again and made it all clear, Emilee and I were the same, like the reflection of a broken mirror, like two drops of water crashing against the floor; we were different on the outside but identical on the inside. Our appearances were costumes hiding the true nature of our kind making us blend in so we could survive in a world where there was no place for creatures like us. We were outcasts from a parallel universe where darkness was our light and immortality was our certain fate, where the thirst of blood was imminent and the hunger for human flesh couldn’t be eradicated. The dimension we came from was a vast land of endless chaos, pain and agony but where we could be seeing as the monstrous beings we were. All of that came to my mind as the cold and bitter memories they were.

– Bob… – Emilee brought me back to reality once again-. ¿Are you alright?

– Yes – I lied faking a smile-. I'm sorry, I was…

– You were elsewhere – she interrupted me with a slight but honest smile on her lips-. I know. I felt it too.

My eyes widened and this time I couldn’t hide my bewilderment, Emilee came so close to my face that the tip of our noses were almost touching, and then holding my look, her eyes began changing to their true color. The yellow branching was predominant in her eyes and the orange tones made them look like some kind of sunset. At this point I was even more shocked because she was entrusting me with her most important secret and that made me feel confident about revealing mine. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed about the bond she was building between us and how strong it was getting the more time passed. I caressed her cheek and kissed her again and when I opened my eyes I showed her what they really looked like, she smiled looking reassured and sat down on the blanket.

– ¿Cake? – She handed me over a slice and took out a bottle of orange juice from the bag.

We ate in silence, enjoying the sweetness of the chocolate cake and the chirping of the birds that sunny afternoon. When we finished eating we decided to take a walk around the park and then the pond. During our walk Emilee hold my hand, she seemed happy and her smile was always present. The feeling blooming inside my chest was awkward but it felt nice, as if a thin ray of sun was finding its way through the deep abyss where my heart was. Knowing I wasn’t the only one of my kind in this world was something good because it would mean we still had the chance to make it ours in time.

The sun was hiding in the distance and a mixture of orange, yellow and violet pastel tones were merging with each other creating some sort of renaissance painting. We were admiring how the sunset was dying and the twilight was opening its eyes once more to a new short life sitting on a bench close to the pond, the dark water was mirroring a full moon as if it had a twin sister ready to come out and play. A cool and soft breeze started to blow; Emilee hadn’t brought any coat so I borrowed her my jacket.

– We should go back, doll – I proposed to her while rubbing her arms to get her warm.

– There is another place I would like to take you, Bob – she smiled shyly-. I promise it won’t take us long and I can assure you, you will like it.

Emilee was aware that that particular smile was enough for me to give in to her ideas and the innocence in her try was adorable. I shook my head laughing and offered her my arm so she could take me to that place.

After being some minutes walking we finally got there. The lights in the park were already on and the buildings surrounding the place were also lit up. When we step on the ground where that huge silver thing was my jaw fall freely, then I heard Emilee’s laughter.

– ¡I knew you would like it! – She said amused seeing my reaction.

– ¿What is this thing supposed to be? – I asked full of curiosity.

– It is what you see – she shrugged her shoulders and hid under the big sculpture-. This giant shiny silver bean was built in the year two thousand four and finished two years later – Emilee told me a little about its history-. The owner of this big “magic” bean was mister Kapoor and he will always be remembered with it. Amazing ¿isn’t it?

My perplexity got even bigger when I got underneath the giant structure with her and looked up; the reflections were repeated many times as if they were lots of galaxies about to be swallowed by the void in the center of this magnificent sculpture. Emilee got close to me, wrapped her arm around my neck and took a picture with her cellphone. She made me run after her a couple of times and when she finally let me catch her I was feeling more amazed than before.

– You look cute with my jacket on.

– ¿Would I look prettier without it? – She asked mischievously winking an eye at me.

My eyes narrowed menacingly and I instinctively bit my lower lip because I knew exactly what she meant by that, she took my hand and we left.

Once the door was locked she slammed me against the wall and kissed me furiously taking my clothes off on the way to her bedroom. We got upstairs tripping on and bumping against almost everything in our path, Emilee closed the door and the show began. I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched her taking her clothes off slowly, as if she was performing some kind of ritual, which was definitely working on me. Once completely out of her vestments, she started a slightly painful but satisfactory metamorphosis. The other three pair of arms got out from her body making their way out of it through her ribs and reaching their natural length. In her face two more eyes began opening, crowning her forehead as if they were amber stones. She didn’t want to lose her human form completely so she stopped half way and bowed at me showing me some of her real features. The soft layer of hair in her six arachnid legs was whitish as the snow and their tips were black like charcoal.

– Your beauty is stunning, doll – I got to say before she shut me up putting one of her silky paws on my mouth.

I let the rest of my limbs come out, but my appearance was very different from hers, my hairs were black and my back and chest were adorned with a big blood red spot, the ends of my legs and my three pair of eyes were also the same color. Back in my world those colors were meant to lure the females into a mating ritual but here they were completely useless.

I grabbed Emilee by the waist and made her lie down; I took some web from my abdomen and tied a pair of her upper legs to the headboard and then her human legs and other pair of arachnid legs to the foot of the bed. I let her human hands free so she could do whatever she wanted to do with them; I figured she would eventually need them, then I began torturing her in a slowly but pleasant way.

The tip of my tongue began tracing an erratic path, starting from her belly button and going up until her already hardened nipples which I kissed and softly bit. My lips played a bit in her neck and she began moaning, my kisses went downhill bumping from one spot to other making Emilee to arch her back like a cat. I hold her wrists above her head and started playing with her pussy already wet; I placed her clit between my fingers and rubbed it gently until she begged me to get inside of her, but I covered her mouth with the palm of my hand and kept playing with her arousal for a couple more minutes, only this time I would rub my pelvis against hers. Emilee’s body was getting really moist because of the sweat and I was having an almost painful boner but I didn’t care, the mixture of pleasure and pain was exciting. I let her hands go and she grabbed my hair pulling it backwards very hard.

– ¿Are you punishing me, princess? – I asked her with a mischievous smile on my lips.

– Yes, I am – she made me bend forward and when I had her mouth close to my ear, she whispered-. You have been a very naughty boy. Now I want you to fuck me really hard, daddy.

She teared apart the knots that tied her ankles and wrapped her human legs around my waist, she plunged her nails in my shoulders and bit my lips possessed by pure lust. The last word whispered by her sinner mouth was all I needed to make her mine over and over again; I was out of control and so was she. We were reaching the highest point of ecstasy and I was at the edge of cumming when she begged me to cum inside of her.

– So, little girl wants daddy’s seed ¿uh? – This time I plunged my claws in her thighs-. She will have it then…

I let myself go and filled her pussy until the bedsheets got wet, both feeling little spasms running all over our satisfied bodies. I lied down next to her and Emilee hugged me with her trembling arms hiding her face in the hollow of my neck. We were exhausted but happy. Sometime soon, Emilee would lay thousands of eggs and our future children would help us rebuild a new world.

I pulled the bedsheets up and covered us, we had a short night ahead but a long life together and we would start living it at the fullest from that very moment…

The End

Enjoy it darling @sunflowerskissed 💕

[talesfromatypewriter]

Hear My Battle Cry Watch Me Fall

chapter one: new roots

She ducks, the katana whistling past her head. Sakura weaves through a flurry of blows, pink hair a blur as she twists and flips, balance impeccable. The blade flies past her shoulder, the skin of the re-animated corpse grey and flaking. She kicks back, sending the katana flying out of his hand. Grabbing the samurai by the forearm, she twists him over her shoulder and sends him crashing through half of the surrounding forest. The thick, century old oaks snap like twigs in the breeze, tearing the woodland to shreds. 

The samurai slumps over, battered armour splattered in blood. He’s down, but not for long Inner chides. As if on cue, the corpse jumps to its feet, broken bones sliding back into place with a sickening crunch.  Sakura visibly grimaces, the noise not sitting well with her. He lunges. Not to be left on the defense, Sakura sprints to meet it, channeling chakra into her gloved fists. The wind stings her cheeks, and sweat runs in rivulets down her back. From only a few metres away she can see the emptiness in his long-dead eyes, hating the detached look plastered on his face. I wonder if he’s in control, Inner muses. Or if he’s just another one of Madara’s puppets. She pushes the thoughts away, and grits her teeth. At the last second she slides under his legs, ignoring the stench of rotting flesh. 

The rusted blade goes sailing over the place where her head should have been. 

Landing a solid kick to his back, she watches as his body folds in on itself, spine broken in two. The re-animated nin flies across the battlefield, impaled by a jagged spike of someone's forgotten earth-jutsu. The corpse shudders, dark cracks spider webbing across the body. Falling limp, he twitches one last time and crumbles into strips  of paper, disappearing with the wind. He deserved better, she thinks. The dead should be laid to rest, Inner agrees, sombre and quiet for once. Sakura falters, throat dry and constricting. He was alive once, and they used him like he was nothing.  He died a shell, forgotten and alone. There is a pause as Inner struggles to find the words.  Mourn later, she settles on.  Survive. 

And so she will. 

Sakura turns her attention back to the War, grounding herself in the smell of coppery blood and the corpses of her fallen friends and allies. She will mourn for them- let herself mourn for them when the day is done. But for now, she will do what she can. Fight for them. Scream her battlecry for them. She will live another day for them. For everyone. With the heel of her foot, she sends one of the reanimated corpses ten feet down into the earth. Running through a few quick hand signs, Sakura encases the body in a coffin of granite. The ground beneath her shifts and bulges, swallowing the dead kunoichi whole.

Praying for her forgiveness, she heals her bloodied knuckles and dives back into the fray. 

.

At the end of the day, she lines up with the rest of the medics and clears the bodies from the fields. It’s the ugliest part of war. 

“Akira, Koyo, with me. Haru, grab the stretchers and help Saya with her earth-jutsu, will you?” she stifles the wavering in her voice and clears her throat, scanning the group of medic-nin with a practised  eye. Akira is slathered elbow deep in blood and gore, her white uniform covered in stains. There is a hollowness in her eyes that wasn’t there before, and her scrawny frame trembles in the wind. . What were they fucking thinking, bringing someone so young into this… this- mess! It’s sick. The elders are fucking sick. And every part of Sakura agrees. Akira is young, turning thirteen in only a few months. When Sakura was twelve she was chasing feral cats down alleyways and cleaning trash from the river. Akira’s a genin, but picked up medical training a little too well for the village to pass her up. War spares no-one, that much is clear. 

Medical teams from Kumo, Suna and Kiri spread over the battlefield in a wave, checking for pulses and missing limbs. Corpses of friends and past foes are laid into caskets and sealed into scrolls, sent back to their respective villages and families. The black scrolls with Leaf insignia have begun to pile up in Tsunade's office, stored carefully away in a chakra sealed environment. The others, those who are unrecognisable, are  burned. Surely enough, the smell of charred remains fills the air, unsettling and unwelcomed. She picks through the wastelands with Akira, watching as the girl collects the abandoned hitai-ates  and stores them in her pouch. Her hands tremble as she pulls the headband lose from a decapitated head, growing greener by the second. Akira throws her head to the side and retches, tears running down her cheeks. 

“Akira-chan!”

Sakura jumps into action, rubbing circles on the young girls back as her heaving slowly comes to a stop. She is shuddering and shaking so violently that Sakura pulls her tight to her chest and utters soft words of forgiveness. She can smell death on every inch of her--from the blood under her nails to the stench of bleach in her hair and ash on her clothes. War spares no-one, Inner echoes. And fuck, didn’t she know it. Akira shouldn’t be here. She should be back home in the leaf, chasing Tora around the village and getting into stupid genin trouble. They should have let her be a kid. 

Akira’s crying eventually comes to a stop, and she’s a dishevelled mess. Her eyes are red, her arms to thin, her heart too soft and hopeful for war. It’s like looking in a mirror. 

Yes. 

This is the ugliest part of war. 

.

.

.

She stops breathing when Ino stumbles into the medical tent, chest ripped wide open. Sakura has seen it all, but the sight of Ino lying unconscious on an operating table  is the one that stops her heart in her chest. The medic-nin around her swarm into action, slapping on rubber gloves and surgical masks. Their hands glow green as they try to weave her chest back together, desperately trying to fix the gaping cavity where her lungs should be. Blood soaks the plastic sheets, so dark and so red that it Sakura just stops and stares. What the fuck are you doing? Help her! Ino is dying! Inner is screaming at her to  move,move,move but she can’t. It’s like she’s lost touch with every limb in her body, merely a passenger along for the ride. There’s so much blood. 

“Sakura-sama!” Akira. It’s Akira. She can feel her lips moving, forming words, but nothing seems to come out. Her cheek is stinging. Slapped. Someone slapped her. Akira slapped her. Her bony limbs beat down on Sakura, begging for her to do something. She is hysterical, screeching and yelling, the other patients stirring to life. 

“Please, please, please Sakura-sama! You can fix her- I know you can! I...I don’t want Ino-sama to die, please!” 

Akira pulls at her hands, dragging her over to the surgical table. The nurses avoid her gaze, ducking out of the tent or moving on to tend to other patients. What are they doing? She doesn’t know. 

“W-what are you doing?” Sakura says, rushing to Ino’s side. Patches of newly grown tissue form a spider web of muscle and flesh, but the gaping wound is still open and bleeding. Furiously, she channels chakra into her hands and focuses, the skin knitting itself back together. She fixes the broken ribs and grows her new viens, but the bleeding just isn’t stopping. Her lungs are torn to shreds and she is just barely alive, but Ino is a fighter. She’ll make it. She has to make it. Sakura pushes harder, green chakra exploding in a flurry of light. She pours everything she has into the awful wound, ignoring the blood pooling at her feet and the quickly cooling body. 

“Sakura-san! Sakura-san! She is dead!” The head medic wrenches her away, anger scrawled across every inch of her face. Numbness floods her. “There are hundreds of patients flooding this tent- you can save them! But Ino-san is gone,” she spits the last word out as a curse, and in that moment Sakura wants to break every bone in her body. But what good would that do her? She slumps to the floor, chakra reserves almost emptied. Ino is dead. Gone. The puddle of blood she is lying in is proof enough. 

She lets herself fall. 

.

.

.

She misses Ino’s funeral by the time she comes too. 

From what Naruto tells her though, it was a good send-off. She smiles weakly and tells him that she’s glad, or whatever that means, and rolls back into bed. Akira visits often, always smelling strongly of bleach and soap. She holds her hand and tells jokes that never seem to make her laugh, but she appreciates the effort. In the end, Sakura can only look at her for so long before seeing Ino’s smile staring back at her. Tsunade drops in every now and again, her position as Hokage keeping her on her feet at all times. They grieve together, Sakura the loss of her best friend and Tsunade the loss of a daughter. Maybe even two, she doesn't know yet. They get drunk and they cry, but Tsunade protects every citizen of the Leaf, and Sakura is only one in a sea of many. She leaves too. Kakashi comes once and only once. He brings a twin pack of Naruto's cup-ramen and they eat them together, the entirety of the ordeal silent and understanding. 

He of all people is the most familiar with war. 

She doesn’t see him for a while after that.

.

.

.

.

.

The battlefield becomes everything that she is, knows and ever will be. She fights without conscious, every move, blow or justu only existing for one purpose. Everything Sakura is exists only for one purpose. To break. She fights without mercy, no longer praying for their forgiveness, but for their pain. She revels in it. Wonders if her fists hurt them as much as they’ve hurt her. Wonders how long this satisfaction will last. 

One of the nin lands a solid blow to her stomach, and she coughs up the remains of last night's dinner. She got distracted. Sakura flies over the corpses head, grips his skull in her hands and pulls, tendons snapping as blood speckles the porcelain of her skin. She drops the head, large blue eyes growing dead and cold before flaking away into nothing. Breathing heavily, she clutches at her broken ribs and hisses, green chakra flooding her system. She hates it. She hates it all. The conflict, the fighting, Ino for leaving her and Madara for dragging her into this mess. His eyes are cold and cruel. He is a man ready to rip the world to shreds,  and a man ready to fix it with broken pieces. 

She closes her eyes, tired and aching all over. She pushes apart a khaki tent flap and slumps into bed, covered in a fine layer of dust and sweat.  She lets the darkness swallow her whole, falling asleep to the soundtrack of war. She channels chakra to her ears, a cooling sensation circulating through her eardrums. The screaming and yelling grows quieter in an instant, white noise washing over her in a wave. For a moment- everything is quiet. Unusually quiet. Inner? She asks. No response. She asks again, this time more desperate and prodding. Nothing. Sakura sighs, relaxing into the warmth of the doona. 

Inner has been silent ever since Ino died.

She has never felt more alone. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Sakura Hadou is born on the 28th of March, a spring baby, just as they had hoped. With a final push she enters the world with a piercing cry, face scrunched up and unnaturally red. The nurses present her in a soft hospital blanket, bundled and swaddled up like a gift. Though she is in a way, he muses, admiring her unusual  tuft of soft pink hair. Gingerly, he places the newborn child in the arms of her mother, who cooes at her arrival. 

“She’s perfectly healthy,” the nurse states, a teasing smile on her lips. 

Mizuki laughs softly, exhausted to her very core. Her blue hair is sweat-soaked and flat, plastered to the back of her neck. Her usually bright periwinkle eyes are dull and tired, her grey makeup smudged like bruises under her eyes. She’s a mess in the very sense of the word- but she’s never looked so radiant.  The hospital is mostly silent (save for their daughters ungodly screaming), the cityscape outside gleaming with hundreds of stars. Mizuki cradles their child with an unmistakable tenderness, a side of her that he only sees with one other person. He smiles at this, adjusting his thickly framed glasses.

“She’s got quite the lungs on her,” she says, gazing down at their daughter with watery eyes. 

“Just like her onee-chan,” he agrees, and they both laugh at this. 

Welcome home Sakura. 

.

.

.

Sakura Haruno is dead.

But Sakura Hadou is not. 

There is warmth on her skin and a heart in her chest, red and pulsing with life. She is here and she is not. Belonging to one world, and belonging to another, but not quite fitting in between. As she delves in the  space between the dead and the living, watery images of her life pass her by in streams of silver and blue, rippling on the rivers of time. She sees the day she was born- her parents Mebuki and Kizashi cradling a newborn with pink hair and wide blue eyes. Blue? No, that can’t possibly be right. Her eyes are green, spring green (Ino had pointed it out herself). Everyone knows her eyes are green. Blue the memory warbles, shifting and changing. Mebukis blonde hair darkens to a deep shade of navy, her pale eyes quickly following suit. The scene around her crumbles like wet paper, falling through her waiting fingers like paste. 

No no no...what? Stop!

The scene rebuilds itself, a grainy image projecting itself onto the murky waters. Konoha's old  hospital is replaced by a soft green bed and sparkling new equipment, too detailed and complex and new for her to understand. The woman in the bed is beautiful- sculpted like a fine boned doll.. Her swollen stomach moves with her every breath, her hands gripping tightly at the metal railings. The man next to her clutches his hand in hers, wincing when the contraction hits and the bones in his fingers creak. With a trembling cry, the baby is free, spilling into the world with a victorious scream. The man and woman are delighted, cooing over the newborn with a sudden fondness that Sakura hasn’t seen in a while. 

“Welcome home Sakura”

The babys eyes open ever so slowly, blue and bright like her mothers. The breath in her lungs comes to a halt. Those are her eyes. Her eyes in that child. 

The scene changes again as Sakura flows downstream, snapshots of years and stolen moments flying over her head in blurry pictures and muffled sounds. The colours build up around her, like building blocks locking into place everything just makes sense. But yet it doesn’t. Not in the slightest. An energetic six-year old leaps down the stairs, duck-printed socks sliding over the polished wood. She is a flurry of energy- and by god is this girl a stomper. Even from the Afterworld the image still ripples with the pounding of her feet, shockwaves running across the usually still water. 

The blue haired girl comes to a stop outside the living room, eyes alight with a dozen questions. 

“Imouto!” 

A placid, pink haired child flips through tv channels from her spot on the couch, her yellow shirt plastered with a series of images to blurry to make out.  Her blue eyes are calm and collected, like that of an adult instead of a four-year old child. It paints a peculiar picture. 

“Shhh… onee-chan, come watch. It’s just about to start.”

It’s all just about to start…. 

this is only the beginning….

The water ripples again, tugging her downwards and away from the bubbling laughter of the two girls. She scrambles for something, anything to hold onto- but it's useless. The images simply flow through her fingers, unaffected by her touch. She plunges into the next moment, scene, time period-- whatever this is, and watches. 

The setting around her wobbles into focus, revealing two long figures on a deserted rooftop. The sky is open and blue, white clouds rolling across the sky in wisps of cotton and forgotten promises. It’s the baby from the hospital, she realises. All grown up a decade and a half-later, she sidles up beside a smudged figure and turns to him, face unclear in the churning waters. She sees blobs of colours, the faintest of smells, and barely tangible noises. The memory is there, but it’s not whole. They talk for what seems like hours, the minutes trudging by at an impossibly slow pace. 

“You’re not happy to see me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You-”

The water swallows her, pulling her away before the girl can finish talking. Eventually the waters stop, coming to a standstill in the silence of it all. Suspended in the gap between time and space, she floats, quiet and still. She is dead- or at least, Sakura Haruno is dead. So then who does that make her? A Haruno or a Hadou? Light filters in from above, casting shadows over the waters of time. For a moment she hears it all- sees it all. She is dead and alive, part of both but not belonging to one or the other. The light engulfs her, running from her beating heart to the tips of her fingers. It spreads in a fiery tingle, down her limbs and sparking in her veins. The power floods through her, coiling and spiralling into oblivion. She is alive with power. 

She couldn’t save Ino.

She couldn’t help Sasuke. 

She couldn’t stop Madara. 

She failed. But this time, things are going to be different. 

Her name is Sakura Hadou.

And it’s time to be a hero.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19660030/chapters/46569472

[frejaultor]

Been thinking about myself as an avatar of the entities...

The Eye: I people watch all the time so this isn’t too hard to picture. I can and will give you that sense of impending doom that only the clapping at a restaurant when it’s your birthday can exude. Do you hear the clapping when you’re in public, not anywhere near a food establishment, or is that just your imagination? Also, I will make you tell me your true feelings. Secrets aren’t your friends. 

The Spiral: I love staring at colors and patterns that are painful to look at (my art is evidence). Those seizure-inducing optical illusions? LOVE THEM. You will, too. You have no choice. (Side note: would rickrolling count as something the spiral is capable of since it involves misleading someone? because I love that song). I will move the furniture in someone’s house just enough to not be really noticeable but drive you mad.  

The Lonely: Being completely without interaction is a powerful way to clear your mind and set your priorities. (probably not how this works but...) When I release you, you better freakin appreciate your friends, coward. If being semi-benevolent doesn’t fit the bill, trapping NASTIES and feasting on their fear would be nice.

The End: I’m already practically a skeleton so why not make it official? Who doesn’t want to be a cool reaper? A Not Dead? Or someone going around like, “hey, the way you’re living is BAD and you need to stop.” (Like the Lonely, I’m not entirely sure I’d be allowed to do this sort of thing but Terminus will get them eventually, right?) You might not be afraid to die, but suffocation and being about to hit the ground tends to get people to realize what they’d want to live for. 

The Stranger: Who wouldn’t want to jump into a preset life, look at the one person who sees you as WronG and whisper, “What are you gonna do about it? No one will believe you.”

The Desolation: I live in the desert and my metabolism makes me warm constantly, so I feel like I’m already there... Who doesn’t want to live like a superhero and/or Godzilla and just smash some buildings without a care in the world?

The Slaughter: Will it be with a knife? Or a pencil I have on hand? Who knows? Don’t know when, don’t know how, but it’ll happen. Also, as someone who lightly studied torture, being tied to a rack and observing a multitude of tools you don’t know the use of would most likely induce a psychotic break. 

The Vast: If I had the ability to yeet myself and just fall for 30 minutes, you bet yer bippy, I’m gonna. Ability to yeet myself and others into the stars? I’m Ready. Polluters/people who think sharks are evil or refer to it as “shark-infested waters” get sent to the Naughty Trench. 

The Buried: COZY. I’m burrito and now so are you. With so many people trying to shoulder everything about their lives all by themselves, it’s so easy to push them a little further until it’s too much. (All those people choking up Mount Everest should be crushed by it. It’s a mountain; it shouldn’t be a damn tourist park).

The Dark: The only unknown in the darkness that I fear is furniture. As a person who lives in the desert, I absolutely believe we should blow up the sun. It is a bastard that mocks us. You know why we always see drawings of the sun with shades and a shit-eating grin on its face? BECAUSE IT’S MOCKING US. Screw you, flaming orb. Screw. You. Bring on the night and let its children play. >:3

The Corruption: Things I wish I could be in terms of this entity-- 

 dressed as a plague doctor who lifts their robe and it’s just a swarm of rats

curl-up/ roll-up/ sow bugs because I love them and they’re precious

cicadas. I want to scream. A lot. 

Slugs and/or snails.

SHROOOMS 

  Things I would most likely be-- crickets and/or locusts. I hate them and their ugly little faces. Crickets and their obnoxious “screw me” song they sing when they’re in your house and NOWHERE near another cricket. Locusts are just as ugly and they eat everything and then DIE. What a life. 

The Web: You know those super controlling parents? Those friends who aren’t friends and manipulate everyone around them? IT’S THEIR TURN. Who’s pullin’ the strings now, kids?? Spiders are adorable with their beedy little eyes, teeny fangs, and large careers goals. I admire them. I’d also love to appear as Shelob but that’s unlikely. 

The Flesh: I will admit--I like fondling meat. I poke the chicken in the store and giggle at the pork tenderloins. I have also held a human lung. I am a fan of Hannibal Lector. Humans as they are now are basically cattle soooooo.....

The Hunt: I will admit once and openly here.... I am a monster lover. You got fangs and hands that are too sharp? Nice. Sneaking up on people is also one of my Special Skills (like my only skill tbh) so this is my niche. I will happily hunt poachers and stalkers. I would also hunt down Sims and tell him I LOVE HIM and be freakin’ nice to him. 

[pizzahorse]

Days Grow Colder, We Grow Warmer

Title: Days Grow Colder, We Grow Warmer

Description: Webby and Lena go to a local cider mill, and examine both pumpkins and feelings.

[Read on AO3]

Weblena Week Prompt  Day 6: Spooky

@weblenaweek

Spooky with bonus Date because I didn’t manage anything for that day! Also turned out not so spooky.

Thanks to @soup-du-silence for its the most wonderful time of the year, which inspired this, although moreso with the they went to the cider mill version from Twitter. That wasn’t an excuse to link both in order to make the RB/RT ability easier. You’re welcome.

It was… weird, coming into life fully formed, knowing things she wasn't sure how she knew, like how to walk and talk and that food was necessary for survival and a host of other things. But there was so much she didn't know, like holiday traditions and the dynamics of a real family. She just sort of woke up one day, without any memories of her own, imbued with the image of someone she'd never met (Scrooge McDuck) but for some reason wanted to destroy.

All of that was gone, and Lena de Spell was left with new and fresh memories. Magica, defeated. Her body, returned. Webby, in good health and high spirits. Everything was right in the world, for the first time in her life. Not just pretend right, but right right. No more watching what she said or where she went or who she formed relationships with. No more hiding. No more running.

It was fitting that the first real holiday Lena would have chance to celebrate was Halloween.

She even got into the autumn mood with a slight appearance change, swapping out her faded pink tips for orange, to match the season. The change had been a surprise, biggest of all to Webby, who had gotten used to the familiarity of Lena always being the same. But maybe, they were changing, and growing, like the current season brought change and growth to the world.

The change had resulted in a conversation about holiday customs, wherein Webby had detailed at length several common traditions, like trick or treating, pumpkin carving, pranking, and lots of seasonal baked goods from Mrs. Beakley. The last two were, unsurprisingly, Lena's favorites. Or what she suspected would be her favorites, since she had never participated in any holiday customs.

When Webby learned of this fact, she decided to rectify it immediately, which meant a trip to the local cider mill was in order. She offered to let the boys come along, but they mentioned something about not wanting to spoil her date. This wasn't a date, because a date would mean just her and Lena going somewhere, alone, and if the boys weren't going then… Oh.

But that was silly, neither of them had said this was a date, and she and Lena had done plenty of date-like activities before, which were totally and definitely not dates, because that would imply that they were something more than friends. Lena had previously kept Webby at arm's length, for fear that Magica might harm her, but now that threat was completely null and was there really anything stopping this from being a date, other than the fact that it had not been deemed as such?

Maybe Lena wasn't the dating type, maybe she didn't have feelings for Webby in that way. Maybe those were just irrational fears that held Webby back from even asking, "Is this a date?" as they rode along in the back of the limo, an unusual air of quiet surrounding them.

Lena, normally someone who could not get enough quiet, but simultaneously could not get enough of Webby's voice, noticed the penetrating silence. She would have expected the space between them to be full of visions of whatever awaited them at this "cider mill." Descriptions of activities, plans for the day, that sort of thing, but there was nothing.

Several times Lena almost asked what was wrong, then shut her beak again. She wanted to ask, to know what was bothering her friend, and do what she could to make things better. At the same time, if something bad had happened that Webby was trying to forget, Lena didn't want to dredge it up again.

So she stared out the window, while Webby grasped fistfuls of her skirt in her palms and stole glances at her best friend. Both oblivious to the feelings of the other, which could have easily been resolved by just one of them speaking up. Easier said than done when one was too shy and one was too nervous, or perhaps they both shared a bit of each emotion. It made for great lack of conversation.

However, Webby's mood seemed to improve as their destination came into view. "We're here!" She almost tuck-and-rolled out of the car before it had even stopped, but she knew such an impulsive move would undoubtedly alarm Launchpad. And Lena, temporarily, although very few of Webby's antics surprised her anymore.

So she waited patiently, face pressed to the window, as a familiar barn-looking structure came into view. All worry about date or not date forgotten for the moment, as a flood of happy memories of visiting this same farm with granny rushed into her mind. Now, she could share those same happy memories with Lena.

Webby practically jumped out once the vehicle had stopped moving, and ran off, up the dirt road towards the cider mill. Lena thanked Launchpad for the ride and mentioned they'd call him when they were finished, because technically he was still on-call for Uncle Scrooge.

"Come on!" Webby called over her shoulder, to which Lena hurried up the path after her.

"I'm getting this one!" Webby exclaimed, after they'd both spent several minutes in the pumpkin patch. Mostly Lena just followed Webby as she scurried about, examining gourds, tapping on them to see which were the correct ripeness, making sure there weren't too many blemishes. Although a few odd markings were good for personality, she'd said.

"Can you even carry that?" Lena crossed her arms over her chest amusedly.

"Yes!" Webby hefted the squash above her head. "Which one are you going to get?"

"That whole carving thing sounds really messy and definitely not up my alley."

"You have to get one!" Webby's puppy-dog eyes were almost enough to convince Lena to grab the nearest one. Almost.

"Do I have to carve it?"

"No."

"Do I have to get a big one?"

"No."

"I'll think about it."

Webby looked Lena up and down skeptically. She had hoped that her friend would be as excited as she was about all this. She thought that Lena's first experience with holiday traditions would somehow be magical and wonderful, just as Webby's earliest memories of visiting the cider mill were some of her happiest. Maybe Lena just needed time to get into the spirit of everything.

They tried the corn maze, but even though it changed every year, it was no match for Webby's smarts and they'd made it through in no time. Then they tried a hay ride, which Lena seemed very underwhelmed by. The last activity available was watching some fresh cider be pressed. That seemed to intrigue Lena, a little, probably because it involved a form of destruction. Maybe it was because the result was fresh, hot cider, which Lena had somehow procured two cups of while Webby was full engaged in the pressing process.

The two found some hay bales outside that they could settle onto. Webby set her pumpkin next to herself, then blew on her drink as she stared down into the liquid. Lena mirrored the action, using the paper cup to warm her hands, which always seemed to be cold no matter the weather.

"Are you having fun?" Webby finally prompted, when the cider didn't cool fast enough to occupy her mouth.

Lena glanced over. "You're having fun, right?"

"Yes, but, this was for you."

"Look, I know, Webs, but this isn't quite my style. I like watching you have fun, though. I really do. I may not show it well, but I'm having fun because you're having fun. It's just kind of hard for me to figure out how to show the right emotions. I had to hold back any semblance of feeling for so long, sometimes it still scares me," she tried to take a sip of her cider while she thought of what else to say, which resulted in her burning her beak. "Oh, hey, I got something!" she brightened, remembering her other purchase along with the ciders.

From her sweater pocket she produced something small, white, and roundish. It was a pumpkin, comically small when compared to Webby's, but the shape fit and it was by all accounts, still a pumpkin. "I picked it out. There was a whole basket by the counter. This one seemed the most unique."

So maybe Lena was here mostly because of Webby, but she had still taken the time to pick out her own pumpkin, even if it wasn't large or grand or carvable. And she was smiling as Webby held out her hand to take it, so she could place it atop her own, and Webby noted that it had been Lena's decision to get them the cider. Maybe the activities that she enjoyed weren't the same ones that piqued Lena's interest. They were two very different individuals, after all, and maybe Webby needed to be more considerate about the things Lena would appreciate.

"Is there anything you'd like to do before we head home?"

"Hmm, you know, those cider donuts looked really tasty."

"Yeah, let's get some!" Webby had to admit that Lena was right. She'd also spied the tantalizing offerings as the pair made their way outside, and considered stopping by before they made their departure. It seemed Lena's mind was on the same track.

"You watch the pumpkins and I'll go get us something to eat," Lena offered.

Webby glanced down at her barely touched cider, then down at her pumpkin. She couldn't possibly carry both, and certainly couldn't waste good cider, so much as she wanted to accompany Lena, she had to relent. "Okay. See you soon."

Maybe she should have just asked what Lena liked in the first place. Or maybe it took Lena time to discover what she might like doing or partaking in. Apple cider and small pumpkins and donuts were all such simple parts of the cider mill experience, in Webby's opinion. But perhaps simple suited Lena. She wasn't exactly the grand adventuring type, if Webby really thought about it. More of the inner city party crashing type. So perhaps their styles were different, and they got enjoyment out of different things. They'd still had a fun day together, right?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the return of her friend, with a bag of what appeared to be half a dozen donuts, plus a couple of caramel apples.

"Looks like we can wash these down with that cider," she indicated the apples protruding from the bag with a nod. She promptly sat down next to Webby, passing one to her and beginning to work at her own. Caramel apples always looked delicious, and were delicious, but the actual eating of them was a challenge all its own.

The snacks occupied the two of them for some time, leaving them more or less alone with their thoughts about the cider mill, and each other. Webby finally sipped the last of her cider and suggested they call Launchpad for a pick up, since they'd done everything and it was getting late. Lena idly munched on donuts as they headed for the exit.

They stood at the edge of the dirt road, a fence behind them and a ditch beside them, waiting for Launchpad. Webby set their pumpkins down, because her arms were tired, and because this place was a fair bit outside of Duckburg, so he might be awhile. That gave the two of them time to talk, and for Lena to ask a question that had been in the back of her mind all afternoon.

"You were quiet on the way here. Everything okay, Webs?"

Webby had sort of hoped that Lena hadn't noticed, even though the silence had been, ironically, blaringly obvious. But now came the moment of truth when she could divulge what had really been on her mind, or come up with a clever lie that Lena would inevitably see through anyway.

"Is this a date?"

The initial answer was the crisp crunch of a cider donut as Lena took a bite right at the same moment, then what seemed like a thoughtful pause, followed by a shrug and another bite.

"Do you want it to be a date?"

Gods, she was so calm and casual, still unbothered by anything in the world. But this shouldn't have been casual, this should have been serious. Webby was seriously asking, and here all Lena could offer in return was some sort of an "I don't care either way" attitude. And maybe she didn't care, maybe she didn't feel the need for their relationship to be serious. But it stung Webby, just a little, that Lena didn't care one way or another, because she cared a whole awful lot, not just about the labeling of the thing, but about Lena in general.

But it did pose an interesting question. Did she want this to be a date? Or did the concept exist mostly because she thought it ought to, because the boys had put it into her head, or because she'd known Lena long enough that maybe it's what she thought they should be doing? Had she explored her feelings enough to know, without any doubt, that she wanted this to be a date?

The answer was that yes, she had. She'd thought up so many date possibilities she'd lost count. Considered so many times spouting, "I love you", because the phrase so often popped into her head any time she so much as looked at Lena. Countless nights she'd laid awake and wished that she could forever wake up near her best friend, even when they got older. Yes, she did want this, she'd wanted it so long she couldn't remember a time when she didn't, and now that she had the opportunity, she hesitated. Of all the possible reactions, hesitation. An emphatic "YES!" caught in her throat, maybe because Lena didn't seem all too keen on the prospect.

"Donut for your thoughts?" Lena waved one of the fried rings in front of Webby's face. She'd spaced out.

"I-" I want this to be a date. I wanted to ask you earlier but I chickened out. Have we been on dates before? I remember you holding my hand during the fireworks when we went to the fair last summer, was that a date? Do you want to date me? Would you ever date me? Have you ever dated anyone before? Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods...

"I like girls!" was all Webby managed to spout.

Her face flushed a deep crimson, and she sat down right there on the edge of the road, pulling her legs up to her chest and scooping her arms around them, burying her face in her knees.

Lena placed a half eaten donut back in the bag, and settled down next to Webby, though not close enough to touch. She wasn't great at this whole sympathy thing, after spending so long being hard and cold and defensive, but she was learning to open up and become something akin to warmer towards others.

"That's okay, isn't it? There's nothing wrong with that, Webby. Fuddy duddy tea time better not be teaching you there is. Because if so, she and I are going to have a problem because I like girls too-"

"I like you," Webby lifted her head and placed her chin between her knees.

"I know."

"It's not a problem with granny or Uncle Scrooge or anyone else. It's-"

"-me."

"It's fine if you don't-" Webby swallowed, pushing down the lump in her throat that threatened to swell up and overcome her with emotion, "-feel the same way. I just, need to know what this is. What we are. If there's hope for us. If I should even keep trying at all. Not knowing is torture."

"Aw, geez, Webs," Lena rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, "I guess I've just been scared about taking the next step. Everything is still so new and fresh for me. I know Magica's gone, but a part of me is still holding on to the fears I held for years. I don't want to put you through the emotional roller coaster that's dominating my life right now. I just want to be a better person when I date you, and I'm not there yet. You're so good and I'm still working on not being so bad. I'm not good enough for you yet."

Webby stared at her friend, long and hard, like she was thinking about something. Then, "Have I ever told you you're not good enough?"

"No, but-"

"Maybe Magica did. Maybe that's why you feel that way. But I don't care about the weight of your bad deeds compared to your good. I don't care what anyone says about you, or about us. I like you just how you are. And I know that things haven't been easy for you, and they're still not perfect. But if you let me, I want to help you work through all the bad things. I don't want to stand by and watch you go it alone. I'm here for you. I always have been. That's true, whether or not we date or become girlfriends or any of that. I'm still your friend. Please let me in."

Lena took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air, breathing in the scents of the farm as dusk fell. She took one hand and wriggled it under one of Webby's, which was still tightly clasped around her knee. But she took the offering, intertwining her fingers with Lena's, their hands held aloft in the space between them.

"I want this to be a date," Lena started. "There were a lot of other times I wanted to be dates, too. I'm just so new at this, not just the dating or relationships thing, but freedom. It's weird not being told what to do all the time. Not having to watch my back. Having someone to watch my back, on the occasion I do need it. Everything's happening so fast. My life used to consist of waiting for one precise moment in time, and now that moment is past and I don't exactly know where to go from here."

"Let the lady lead," Webby gave her hand a light squeeze.

"What?"

"Launchpad is here!"

The ride back was quiet, but happily so, both girls absorbed in their thoughts about the future ahead. They held hands all the way home, until Launchpad dropped them off at the front door while he went to park the limo. Webby carried their pumpkins to the porch and set them down, but refrained from opening the door, instead staring down at her feet while she shuffled them awkwardly.

"You know, sometimes two lovers are supposed to share a kiss on the porch, just out of sight of their parents, before one of them rushes off into the night."

"Are they?" Lena cocked a playful eyebrow, like she'd never heard of such a thing, even though Webby had subjected her to dozens of sappy movies and she knew full well what she was talking about.

"Yes," Webby whispered, and gulped, waiting with bated breath. For once in her life she wanted to be the damsel, to be swept off her feet by a dark and mysterious stranger, but only because she knew who that dark and mysterious stranger was. And she was far from actually being a stranger.

So Lena made a move, because Webby seemed to want her to, and for the first time it actually felt good to make a decision and go through with it, instead of being a follower. She leaned down and pressed their beaks together, light and gentle at first, testing the waters, until Webby grabbed her by the collar and pulled her in even closer, like she couldn't get enough. Clumsy hands grasped at the back of Webby's shirt, because Lena wasn't sure where else they should go, and also, she felt that if something didn't tether her to the earth, she might float away and never come back down.

It ended, too soon for both of them, but this was new and they were young and knew better than to rush this. It was evident that this moment, or something similar to it, had been on their minds for awhile, but the wait had been worth it. Now, they had every day for the rest of their lives to make up for lost time.

"Well, see you around," Lena stepped down off the porch and threw a wink over her shoulder.

"Lena, wait!"

"Yeah?"

"You live here!"

"Right, I was just going to go around back so we could preserve the moment."

Webby giggled at the notion, but appreciated the sentiment. "Come inside, silly."

"Wow, only our first date and I'm already being invited into the lady's home," Lena pretended to be bashful as she put on a faux accent, befitting someone far more prim and proper than she would ever be. "My goodness, what would her grandmother think? Sneaking in a rebellious ruffian after dark. She's liable to get corrupted if she keeps this up!"

"Stop it, get over here!" Webby continued to laugh. It was nice to see Lena being playful, and more relaxed. She seemed to let her guard down more frequently, now that she wasn't under Magica's control, but it was still a rare and welcome sight.

Lena smiled, and even laughed at herself a little, as she joined her friend and entered the house. Although, maybe they weren't just friends anymore, she realized. Maybe they were more. Her chest clenched, old fears rising up, until she realized that maybe she didn't have to be afraid of being more. There was no more Magica. No more shadowy sorceress looming over her. No more being controlled. She had control now, and freedom, the freedom to make her own decisions. She'd been free to kiss Webby just now, and she was free to do it again, and again, and again, as long as Webby was okay with it.

A chill in the air ruffled her feathers just before she stepped inside. Lena might not have been a fortune-teller, but she could predict a lot of evenings that involved her and Webby, huddled close together by the fire, sharing a blanket. Cups of hot cocoa that were supposed to keep them warm, even though their own company did enough of that. Stealing kisses by firelight after everyone had gone to bed. Falling asleep in each other's arms, and dreaming of what their future might be like together.

Lena probably didn't know it, because she wasn't a mind reader, either, but Webby was thinking about the exact same thing, and smiling at such nice thoughts. Maybe it had all been fate, some kind of destiny, that lead to Webby sitting alone on the beach one day not so long ago. Maybe her sense of adventure, her thirst for the unknown, had led her to Lena that same day. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter now. They were together, and safe, and didn't really need anymore than that.

It may not have been a match anyone could have predicted, but they were happy. They made each other happy. Happy in ways neither of them could describe, happy in the simple things and happy in the complex things. They were a complex thing, weren't they? An eccentric, well-off, basically adopted member of the McDuck family, combined with the product of a decades old feud and probably a curse or two. Their meeting, and their relationship, was completely unpredictable. It suited them, and how they preferred life to be. Unpredictable.

[sunflowersandink]

Seasons

Part 1

Read on Ao3

Pairing: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Summary: In spring, the swallows come. Two days after Peter sees the first swallow of the year, he finds a plastic Easter egg on the ground. Inside is a grenade. 

Or: Peter and Wade, and the development of their relationship between one spring and the next.

Words: 2251

In spring, the swallows come.

The swallows, out of all the birds, are his favorites. Peter sees a lot of birds in his line of work, probably more than almost anyone else in the city. Even the bird watchers see them most often when they’re still.

But Peter gets to see them fly, and the swallows fly like they know exactly what a gift it is.

As far as he’s concerned, spring in New York City doesn’t really start until he’s seen one.

Two days after Peter sees the first swallow of the year, he finds an egg on the ground.

This is probably unrelated to the appearance of the swallow, as the hot-pink plastic-ness of the egg seems to indicate that a person, and neither bird nor reptile nor weird experimental mammal placed it there.

He picks it up tentatively, and isn’t it sad that his lifestyle has made him so suspicious of an innocent plastic Easter egg?

He cracks it open to find a grenade.

In the next instant he’s off the civilian-riddled street and on the roof of a nearby building, heart thudding furiously in his chest. He fumbles with the device, hands shaking slightly, and finds, to his great relief and slight confusion, that the grenade doesn’t appear to have been activated in any way. He webs it five times to a structurally unimportant part of the roof just in case.

He swings back down to land on a lightpost next to where he found it. To his dawning horror, he spots pastel colors dotted all down the street, stuck in the windshields of cars, balanced in the windows of businesses, and lying on the ground beneath trees and street lamps.

“Mommy, Mommy, look! The Easter Bunny came early! See? There’s an egg!”

Peter freezes, then twists on his perch, honing in on the voice. There’s a little girl with red pigtails bouncing up and down excitedly beside her mother, a yellow egg clutched in her small hand.

“No!” Peter yelps, flinging himself off the post and towards the girl. “No, no no no no, don’t touch that!” He yanks it out of her hand, backing away quickly. She stares up at him in shock. Tears fill her eyes, and her face scrunches up. “Oh, no no, don’t cry, it’s okay,” he says hastily, cupping his hands between her and the egg. “You just don’t want this egg is all, it’s full of…” he cracks it open, and stares. “...vegetables. It’s full of vegetables.” He does his best to hide the packet of M&M’s within his hand.

Her face lights up. “I like vegetables!” she chirps.

“Of course you do,” Peter mumbles. “I mean.. of course you do! Vegetables are awesome and you should eat them all the time, but, uh, not these ones, okay? They’re all...uh, mushy and gross.”

He spots a blue egg in the window of the salon behind them, and he lunges over to snatch it. This one appears to contain a AAA battery. He looks back up at the girl and her mother, who are watching him in confusion and alarm, respectively. “Just...uh, don’t pick up anymore Easter eggs, okay? Ask your mom to buy you some broccoli or something,” he backs away down the sidewalk, pointing at the mom. “Buy your kid some veggies! Don’t let her touch any strange eggs!”

He fashions himself a web bag, and sets off on an egg hunt.

Within a few minutes, he has a collection of twenty-three plastic Easter eggs of various sizes and colors in the bag. Their contents range from candy, to coins, to what seems to be the entire contents of someone’s junk drawer. Several contain five and ten dollar bills. One has a hundred dollar bill, and he takes careful note of every one that has money in it, just on the off chance that they aren’t somehow rigged to explode or poison him or turn into a robot that will cut his nose off while he sleeps.

The trail stops at the opening of an alley. In the middle of the alley is a black-and-red-clad figure with pink bunny ears, skipping cheerfully away.

“Here comes Pe-ter Cotton-Tail,” he sings brightly, a large basket swinging from his arm.

“Hey!” Peter calls after him.

Without missing a beat, he spins gracefully on his toes, and Peter abruptly has a gun pointed at his forehead. “Shoo-ting you in the fuck-ing skull!” He finishes to the same tune.

Peter yanks the gun out of his hand with a strand of webbing before the last note has even died off. The other man barely seems to notice. He claps gloved hands against his cheeks, staring at him with the comically large white eyes on his mask.

“Oh Em Gee, you’re Spider-Man!” He squeals.

Peter looks at the gun now in his hand, wrinkling his nose in distaste, and then back up at the other red-and-black suited person in the alley, a growing suspicion as to his identity forming. “You wouldn’t happen to be Deadpool by any chance, would you?”

Deadpool makes a sound like a tea kettle with some sort of factory error, and bounces up and down on the balls of his feet. “He knows our name!” he squeaks. He freezes. “Wait. Did you just happen to know it, or do you have psychic powers in this universe? Did you see it in my mind?”

Peter blinks. “No. I saw it in an Avengers briefing.”

Deadpool nods thoughtfully. “That’s not as cool, but still, adorable that they talk about me when I’m not around.”

“They said you’re an unstable menace and I should ‘take extreme caution and not approach unless absolutely necessary’,” he says, mimicking the Captain’s lecture voice.

“Ooh, a menace, huh?” Deadpool repeats in a high-pitched voice. “So what exactly brings you to approach lil ol’ menacing me today?”

Peter raises an eyebrow under his mask. “Seriously?” he holds up a plastic egg. “I’ve got like fifty of these. Easter isn’t even for another two weeks, man.”

“Aw, someone doesn’t have much Easter spirit!”

“You could’ve blown someone up!”

He cocks his head, looking genuinely bemused. “Sounds fun, but that’s really more of a Valentines’ Day sort of celebration, Baby Boy.”

“Then why leave an egg with a grenade in it lying in the street?”

Deadpool does a double take, feeling for his belt. “I did no such - oh.” he pulls a half-melted Hershey’s chocolate belt and two grenades out of a pouch. “Well that’s not right.”

“Okay. I’m confiscating your basket. Hand it over.”

He narrows his eyes, clutching his basket tighter. “You know I can just buy more Easter eggs.”

“And I can just confiscate those too. I’ve got a collection going.”

“Fine!” Deadpool huffs, shoving the basket at him.

Peter takes it gingerly, wary of more explosives. “Appreciate the cooperation.”

“So is Easter Grinch your usual job, or is this just a night job? Because the outfit definitely screams ‘night job’, and that is not an insult, baby boy.”

“First of all, it’s day, as you can tell from the giant ball of fire in the sky. Second, I don’t get paid for this, and third, this is the first time I’ve ever had to steal Easter eggs from anyone, so congrats on being unique,” Peter says, busy checking the eggs in the basket. Deciding that there’s nothing rigged to explode, he attaches a line of web to the roof above them, landing neatly on the edge.

“Hey, you know if you ever need money, I’ve got some ideas for things I could pay you for!” Deadpool shouts up at him.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that!” Peter calls back. “Besides, you couldn’t afford me!”

He’s gone before he hears if there’s a response.

…

The next time he sees Deadpool is in the beginning of May, and this time it’s not even Deadpool’s fault. It’s the guy’s who thought it would be funny to release approximately fifty bajillion weird fuzzy caterpillar things the size of cats around the city.

As far as supervillain schemes goes, it’s really more on the ‘inconvenience’ side of things, rather than the ‘what kind of person does this shit’, so that makes it a pretty good day in Peter’s book. The Avengers are even here! Which probably just means they happened to have nothing better to do, but still.

Peter has three of the squirmy bundles of white fluff in his arms, and is busy trying to fish a fourth out from under a car when a pair of red-and-black booted feet appear in front of him. He looks up from where he’s laying on his stomach to see the merc watching him, head cocked, stroking a large caterpillar that’s curled comfortably in his arms.

“That looks uncomfortable,” he says cheerilly.

“How observant,” Peter snaps. “Want to help me out here?”

“Ooo, Baby Boy, there’s all sorts of things I’d be willing to help you out with,” he wiggles his eyebrows meaningfully.

“Like getting a giant bug out from under this car?” he asks, deciding the best way to deal with the innuendo was just to ignore it.

“Mm. Kinky.” Deadpool kneels down beside him. “Why don’t you just use your webbing to pull it out?”

Peter readjusts his grip on the three he’s holding, tugging one back from where it’s trying to crawl over his shoulder. He shuffles around to the other side of the car. “It sticks to their fur. Hair? I don’t know. Anyway, I don’t have time to cut it free and I don’t want to hurt them by just yanking it off.” With a quick lunge, he finally manages to grab the bug before it can inch away from him. “Nevermind, got it.” He stands, tucking the new addition into his armful of fluff. He nods with his chin towards the one in Deadpool’s arms. “Here, give me that one, I’ll take them to where we’re rounding the others up.”

Deadpool narrows his eyes, hugging it protectively to his chest. “Excuse you, ‘that one’ has a name. Her name is Beatrice, and I’ll have you know she is a purebred!” He says haughtily.

Peter raises an eyebrow. “A purebred what?”

Deadpool looks at Beatrice in silence for a second. “Bug,” he declares, with a confident nod.

Peter firmly resists the urge to be at all amused. “I mean. You’re probably right.”

“Hey, Spidey!” a voice calls behind him. He turns to find Hawkeye, staring warily past him at Deadpool, one hand on his bow. “You okay?”

Peter stares at him, puzzled. “What else would I be? They’re caterpillars, Clint, they don’t even bite.”

Clint’s eyes dart to Peter with that look he always gives him, which means ‘now is not the time for your bullshit, kid’, which is just plain insulting. Seriously, he’s fought with the Avengers before, are they really going to get all fussy about some harmless little bugs? He’s Spider-Man, for God’s sake. They should be his specialty.

He’s just beginning to work himself into serious irritation when Deadpool speaks up cheerfully behind him. “Nah, I don’t think it’s the fuzzy-wuzzy bugs he’s worried about. Or at least, not the miniature ones.”

Peter turns back to ask what he’s talking about, and finally picks up on the edge under his cheerful tone.

Ah. Right. The deadly merc with a mouth. Who he was warned not to interact with. Clint steps forward, hand tightening slightly on his bow, and beckons Peter forward, as though he’s a small child who’s wandered too close to the tiger cage at the zoo. “Come on, SHIELD’s pretty much got this under control.”

Peter looks at Deadpool, who’s standing stiffly, still clutching Beatrice. The moment he notices Peter watching him, he appears to relax. Appears. Peter knows what calculated relaxation looks like.

“Aw man, I would love to come with you guys, but my evening is completely booked right now.” He saunters casually backwards, towards the entrance of a nearby alley. “But you fellas enjoy the after party! I know, I know, it’s not as much fun without me, but you’ll survive.” And with that, he’s gone, without giving either Peter or Clint a chance to respond.

Clint sets off down the street towards the containment cage SHIELD set up, and Peter hurriedly falls into step beside him. “He wasn’t actually doing anything, just being...weird,” he tells Clint, not entirely sure why he’s defending Deadpool to him, for some reason feeling he should.

Clint stops abruptly, and Peter almost stumbles in surprise. He looks Peter in the eye, as best he can through the mask. “Look kid, you’ve got a good heart, it’s what makes you a good hero. But Deadpool? He doesn’t. He’ll kill you the second someone pays him enough to cover the cost of the bullet, and he won’t think twice about it. He might not be a villain you need to fight, but he’s damn well not someone you should be spending time with,” he says firmly.

Peter fidgets, adjusting the caterpillars in his arms. “What are you, my dad?” he mumbles.

Clint grins, the tension broken. “Don’t let Stark hear you say that.”

Peter laughs, and they start off again, their conversation reverting back to its usual casual chatter.

But something keeps niggling at the back of his mind.

For all the warnings people keep giving him, his spidey sense never so much as hummed around the merc, not once.