#i can understand more if ppl have actually dealt with both

[rpgbabe]

right but like the thing is forgiveness =/= continued association. i can forgive AND 'forget' (not dwell on it) and move on like bye bye ur not for me no more. in fact i think that's almost the only way *to* truly get over someone lol. like u cant flat out leave someone in the dust unless u rly accept what they did, accept their remorse, and put it behind both of u. idk if im in love w the whole attitude of like no some ppl shouldnt be forgiven ever >:C like wat good does it rly do to hold that bitterness within u?

[thevviitchinghour]

Astrology Observations

DISCLAIMER: This is based on my own experiences and research it does not mean it's inherently true!! Pisces Placements aren't intentionally fake but switch up so quick. I have had so many pisces placement friends that r just so wishy washy. Pisces Venus depending on the person will literally choose shitty partners over even their closest friends! They just want to fit into the mold their partners create for them so bad u won't even recognize their personalities sometimes in certain relationships smfh. Taurus Placements get just as jealous as scorpio and can be JUST as bad about it. Have you ever dealt with a Taurus who felt lesser than you? just terrible. Pluto in sag is an interesting generational placement. It's cool to look at how it shows up. The way ppl are so self righteous and like to flaunt how their life philosophy is best. Going on social media spreading dogmatic beliefs and wanting to be a teacher but actually guiding people into the dark. Unrealistic morals & ideas that are half-baked and rooted in egotistical projections of what people deem correct. Even if the legitimacy is questionable at best. The way there is an excess of waste, consumerism, and lack of appreciation of it. The rise of fake spiritual influencers & conversations being hd around xenophobia, racism, religious beliefs & cultural appropriation. Pluto - Mercury people seem to be able to develop telepathy fairly easy or have a natural predisposition towards it? A lot of my friends who are clairaudient or sometimes hear other ppls thoughts have Pluto - Mercury aspects. Gemini Moons are actually very emotionally nuanced and understanding, I feel like Aquarius is the main air sign who tries to rationalize the emotions of OTHERS. I feel like Gemini moreso tries to understand every aspect of something. The emotional and logic, the dynamics of it all, the duality. Libra Moons seem to be more selfish than both Aquarius AND Gemini moons. It's not that they don't care about others, but the way they think/feel (which isn't surprising considering they're aries sister sign) is usually in relation to how people feel about THEM. What people think of them, how they are being perceived. How they can be liked more, etc. That's not to say Libras are not caring about others because they are!! I honestly like Libra Moons, I find them to be very sweet and considerate and if they really love you they are super giving and chill.

Aquarius Moons are solution oriented, they want to figure out how to solve or understand the root of an issue so it can be done and over with. This can cause them to come off as emotionless, dull, and unempathetic. I notice though that immature Aquarius moons are very selfish & think they're the only ones who suffer. I see that in immature capricorn moons as well. I believe it has to do with saturn. Libra Mercuries are so poetic imo Virgo is literally ruled by mercury, the only way you're going to find them boring is if they don't trust you enough to open up to you or converse with you. They are extremely intuitive & pick up on the patterns of others easily. More often than not it usually only takes a virgo a small period of time whether it be minutes or days to decide they actually just don't like you and don't want to engage with you. They also tend to mirror, so if you're boring maybe that's why you think they're boring.

[zo1nkss]

ok so you made a post abt the canyon and ive been trying to figure it out so i figured id ask you- what does that actually mean. like ik its a term for izzy fans but do you know where it came from?

I don't mean to sound put off by you specifically at all, but this is actually the 3rd ask I've got abt what "the canyon" is and it's getting hard to keep answering. I totally get the confusion and I'll still answer, but I'm just putting this out there for other ppl mostly. Might make a faq or something with some of the questions I get asked a lot lol

Okay so "The canyon" is shorthand for "The Izzy Canyon". They call themselves that, afaik it started on Twitter bc when I joined tumblr no one had heard of them before - and most people here generally don't know the term.

It was largely born out of a group of (mostly) yt OFMD fans who were accusing myself and some friends and others I wasn't in circles with of harassment etc bc we talked privately about our feelings regarding how they talked about Izzy in relation to characters of color.

When I talk about "The Canyon" I am mostly refering to that group. Since that time, they have grown and expanded to include people who do not act that way and more ppl who aren't yt and more nuance has been aded to the topic, but ultimately that is where it started and what I mean when I criticize them.

A big part of why its hard for me to talk about is bc I was in multiple call-out posts made public and targeted multiple times by the ppl who started this whole concept. It hurt a lot, I lost a lot of followers and sometimes friends who I thought valued and respected me. And when they shared proof, none of it actually held up.

I'm not trying to say I was always and only ever a victim, there was a lot of toxicity back and forth at times. Twitter is a hard place to discuss complex topics because things get twisted, on both ends, and then its easy to feel defensive. All of us at times made mistakes. But this largely started with yt people targeting BIPOC for our opinions that we were not even asking them to agree with or validate. Only sharing privately, or on our own pages.

It sucked. My friends and I dealt with a lot of actual real time bullying because of it. So I generally don't like talking about or explaining where the term came from, which is why I won't be answering asks about it anymore. I apprecoate that everyone wants to understand what I mean and will see abt a general faq including it, but this will hopefully serve as an easy response I can link to later.

[weaselbeaselpants]

PSA but if you see someone say "I don't approve pedo/incest/ect go to jail" who still calls themselves 'proship' -bcuz Idk they like Lore Olympus or Twilight or some villain/hero shit- they are not a pedophile or an endorser of creepy shit just because you want them to be. You are not actually being critical, you are being petty and reactive and not listening to reason

Use your actual fucking reasoning skills, assess what it is they advocate for in fandom and if they clearly are into some Shane Dawson-type bullshit, THEN you can call them out for what they are. Which is a creep. They are a creep. But no a person who just really like Reylo has bad tastes is not an inherent racistpsycho incest lover just because you have decided that's what all the ppl who like that ship are.

This is why I hate the goddamn anti v proship debate; both sides' of this mandated battle line are ignoring the real problem at hand and prioritize their own feelings and trauma over what they're trying to fight for. Understandable? Sure, but that doesn't mean you aren't just running your wheels with other online twits at best:

Antiantis/Pro-shippers: "You're using progressive langauge to be aggressive and gatekeeping other people because of it; let people like what they want stopbeingsosenstive >:( " -> *proceeds to equate internet squabbles to purity culture of the 80s/spends all time shitting on other people's traumas/becomes fandom mom*

Antishippers: "We need to protect vulnerable people and minors and not let vile shit be romanticized! >:( " -> *proceeds to label anyone who don't subscribe to their exact internet standards pedophiles/misuses critical thinking skills to mean 'what I don't like'/becomes fandom mom*

meanwhile, are KiwiFarms or Shadbase or any of those nasty people who post literal csa ab*se and zoo being dealt with? No.

Minors are no safer and boundaries with or about fiction aren't being actually drawn or even discussed. It's just people putting up their own emotional/mental barricades WHILE they throw a nasty blanket on the other side. None of you are gonna believe me anyway and I'm probably gonna get more shit for just tagging both ur guys' tags anyway but I'm telling you:

I've had "antis" who totally admit to loving problematic ships and a lot and really don't like the absolutist dogpiling on Princess Weekes for daring to be a zutarra shipper.

I've known "proshippers" who will block you onsight if they see a hint of incest or legit underage-character advocacy. I know so many proshippers who hate Lore Olympus and Helluva Boss' shipping

You are ALL acting upon your experiences with bad people (probably people going through their own trauma, depression, selfcare, but still) and reacting as tho it's worst case scenario ALL THE TIME. Not cool. I'm not ur fucking mom or telling u how to cope with your own fantrauma and selfcare. What I'm telling you is this is not as mature or brave or empowering as you guys all think it is- you just sound sad.

[notthestarwar]

for the WIP game, can you tell me more about ‘Fox gets a job- quin/ Fox’ 👀👀

thank you for asking!

OK so i know i've talked about this on here before but i love this au so i'm gonna repeat myself a bit probably.

so its set post war, no order 66. The idea is that the war opened everyones eyes to cloning, in a very bad way. loads of half bit criminals are like. free labour? people we can raise to do whatever we want? why don't we give it a try. theres a background of a lot of shitty gangs going about trying out cloning in a way that would horrify the kaminoans really. this is not good science, this is comic book-esque backstreet cloning in order to take advantage of people.

they are largely not successful. the problem isnt that there are loads of gang owned clones around. the problem is that they keep trying even tho they dont know shit about cloning and so vulnerable ppl are getting kidnapped off the streets for gennetic material and in a baby farm type way to grow clones in. its bad.

enter fox. he's drifting after the war. he doesnt really know what too do with his life. he is looking for a job and he says he wants a job but everytime he gets an interview he's overly honest and tells them things like 'yeah i killed my last boss' (palpatine) and 'my greatest flaw? i'm too competent. it makes my bosses feel inferior' and so understandably nobody will give him a job

he doesnt actually need a job. quin is paying all his bills cause theyre in a weird not relationship and wont admit they care about eachother. fox is deadly embarrased about whatever quin funding him and spending all his days off in fox's apartment might signify and so it is a MASSIVE SECRET that must be kept from fox's brothers.

so fox at this point in his life, stumbles on to one of these cloning ops and ends up helping someone. and it becomes kind of addictive. he wont admit it but helping these people, who are being hurt by cloning, settles something in him. maybe it settles the thing in him that he wont admit is so hurt by the cards he and his brothers have been dealt, by what was done to them.

so fox sets up as a private investigator. but because he's a weirdo who runs from intimacy he kind of. doesnt tell anyone (he cant. this is important to him) but of course, his brothers find out anyway and they also find out that he's running the worst business ever because he's not taking money from his clients. because he doesnt feel right doing it.

now where this is building to (and this is the part that i kinda got stuck on) is he stumbles on to a BIG criminall gang cloning conspiracy. one where they are actually succeeding in cloning people. he ends up investigating this one with Boba! which pretty much happens cause at the start before he knows how big this is, he walks in to this lab, and who has also broken in to the lab and is investigating the same conspiracy? BOBA. and its just like. fox and boba stood on either side of this illegal lab like. spiderman meme pointing. looking out of the window of a car as they drive past each other. that vibe.

and the rest of the story is boba and fox on this unwilling team up. neither of them wanting to admit to feelings but having to kind of both admit. yeah. bad things happened to us and i dont like the idea of anyone else being out there with similar stuff happening to them. they also unwillingly get close. then theres the side plot of fox having to admit his feelings when it comes too quin and admit that theyre kinda living like theyre in a committed relationship without the words. and then the other thing thats going on in the background is cody and obi wan, who are living together, in a happy relationship apart from the fact that they never have an empty house becuase one of them is aways inviting some wayward sibling or other to stay with them. cody and obi wan respectively have no shortage of family so its just constant and both of them act like theyre annoyed each time the others do it, but really, its why they love each other and theyre both so big brother coded and yeah.

so i know i've alread shared some bits of this here and here (and possibly theres a third one floating around here as welll? cant find it)

so here are some other snippets from other parts of the au:

and from a bit later on, a quin/fox bit

later on, fox being uncharactaristially honest (it's easier when the person doesnt matter to him)

and finally, fox's thoughts on the cloning problem

and i've shared loads sorry so i'll stop now, but yeah. this is an idea i am very excited about and i am very frustrated that i havent been able to form a conspiracy that fits right for him and boba to investigate

[bbygirl-aemond]

You may already be aware, but I actually found ppl going back and forth on Reddit about a post you'd made on here (re Viserys being a shite parent). It's under r/HouseOfTheDragon in case you ever wanted to check it out. I just recognized your name, as I follow you and it was shared as a screenshot from here.

lmao i will never get over how wild reposting on the internet actually is. that fucker has over a thousand comments and i had no idea until you told me just now! literally made a reddit account to try to add my voice to the din just to encourage people to discuss on the original platform so i can see but tbh people on reddit are a lot meaner than tumblr so i won't be mad if it doesn't get too many upvotes.

reddit's responses to this post is such an interesting case study in the polarization that's happening everywhere online. i get SO MANY accusations of being wildly biased from supporters of both "teams" all the time and it's funny because like am i too team green or too team black bc i can't be both right? mostly i think it's because people get really defensive when you criticize a character and assume it means you hate them. like bruh we are adults with big girl emotions can't it be a little more complex than that?

when i say i think viserys is a bad parent, i'm not saying it as team green propaganda. i've said before that rhaenyra is the rightful ruler and that i absolutely adore her as a character (let's just say aemond isn't my only babygirl). there's a reason i've written 100k+ words of fanfic designing a political scenario where she'll be able to happily rule without any of her children dying. spoiler alert: it's not because i hate her and think she's a bad ruler. and she's far from the only character on team black i love: daemon, jacaerys, lucerys, and baela all come to mind.

it's also really interesting to me that people see my opinion about viserys and, even though i literally did not mention rhaenyra, assume that i'm somehow shitting on her. it just goes to show how much they stand blindly by one team or another. that to criticize one member of their "team" feels to them like you're criticizing every member. like baby, i'm not the one making it about teams: you are! honestly, i understand why the team mentality was a good marketing move, but it really has been the death of critical thinking in this fandom. there are aspects of both that we're meant to root for, just as there are aspects of both we're meant to hate. none of these people are objectively morally good, and that's what makes it interesting, so why are we trying to pretend otherwise?

so while yes, i don't like viserys, why would i extend that dislike to rhaenyra? it's not like she forced him at gunpoint to do the things i'm criticizing him for lol. in fact, i think viserys did her just as dirty most of the time. i have another post in the works about this, but he neglected her for her entire childhood, groomed her best friend and dealt with telling her in the worst possible way, and made her heir in a bid for her affection yet did none of the actual work to honor her as a ruler. he could have made her his hand but instead he made her pour his wine?

now, again, just because we dislike part of something does not mean it's all bad. do i think viserys is generally quite a bad parent and person? absolutely. did i also cry ugly tears in the scene where he forces himself up from his literal deathbed to defend his daughter? yes. these two things can coexist.

also, because reddit is reddit, there are a bunch of comments that just miss my point about alicent and aemma entirely. i've already responded to those in a post here so i won't beat a dead horse too much. but to paraphrase: viserys married alicent because he liked her specifically not for duty or he would've married someone who wouldn't horrify the entire small council; and aemma didn't need to be alive and conscious for the pain she was put through at the end of her life. the things he did to his wives weren't necessary and i don't think we should be pretending they were.

lastly, it's really funny to me how many people incorrectly assumed i was a man in the comments. i'm genuinely the girliest girl to ever girl in real life (makeup jewelry and tits to the gods, sorority girly, the whole nine yards, i love it) and it gave me such whiplash. there's a joke to be made here about trying to weaponize male privilege somewhere.

[kikimochiiiii]

My personal take on MDZS kins based on what I've seen (which is almost nothing)! Understand that this'll be very biased n uninformed, but it's just for fun and I cherish all kins! Please and thank you!💕

WWX: Fiercely protective over their homies/mother bear type; Live for the drama though, so they WILL pitch homies against each other; They will state that their opinion is ALWAYS right to assert dominance; They never feel silly enough; "What do you mean people don't have a bi panic every 20 seconds?"; The life of a party, for better or worse

LWJ: They are very accomplished and orderly; But ask them about that and they'll say that they hate how boring they are; They can recite all of their unrequited loves in detailed, dramatic stories; They have at least 1, if not multiple crushes where they hate the fact that they love them; once they hyperfixate on one thing, they'll never be able to tell you anything about anything else; Shy n sweet, we protecc

JC: "I HATE THAT I KIN THIS MAN, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-"; Their family sucks so much and they absolutely deserve better; They always want affection but can't help but act grossed out by it; will fight WWX kinnies in a gas station parking lot; prayed to all the gods to be asexual because they hate hormones, but they couldn't be more thirsty; have killer fashion that makes everyone double-take; A fierce, chaotic beauty ppl don't forget

JYL: The mom friend; Is always the therapist/advisor/caretaker/friend/mom for everyone else; Girl, are you okay? You are overworked for real; Wishes they could be intimidating once in a while; LOVES ALL THE GIRLY FEMME AESTHETICS; "I'm so average TT TT" (is actually talented in so many areas wth); everyone is protective over them and they don't know why, but they like it💕💗

LXC: Oh my gosh, ARE YOU OKAY-; Have an emotional wall higher than Mt. Everest; The person with the most propriety; Perfectionism is their worst enemy; Have definitely dealt with toxic friends in their life, so please handle with care; the best listeners; Extremely artistic in some form or another; Are kind to all other kinnies, but will bloody take a bullet for JC kinnies on sight; No one shall ever know their music playlists...

NMJ: "I am who I am, and don't mess with me"; If people aren't genuine with them, they can't stand it; An open book at all times; Their face WILL show what they are feeling; They are just aiming to find a himbo or cute twink for their love partner (or both!); generally nice, but can whip out insanely painful insults, so don't test them; They are confident, and therefore, they are H O T

JGY: GOSH, WHY ARE THEY SO PRETTY??; Definitely were the reason for someone's bi or gay awakening; soft aesthetic e v e r y w h e r e; "A-Yao never did anything wrong!🥺"; Will 100% not snitch on you if you give them a favor or are just hot; Are all about optimizing their situation, if you catch my drift; They are the most loyal of loyal friends if they cherish you💗💕

NHS: "I was born to be petty."; They can recall everything they have a grudge against in worryingly great detail; They will exact revenge on you, so be nice; They have the absolute maddest make-up skills; Work in tandem with WWX kinnies to make chaos, but take a backseat more often; Either habe the highest standards or none at all with no in-between; Bring them to ALL of your sleepovers

WQ: Queen energy 24/7; "I fUCKING TOLD YOU SO-"; They are forever suffering from the incompetent, irresponsible people around them; They have dealt with creeps thirsting after them, and they all wound up missing, oops-; Will be a full-on bodyguard for JYL kinnies and MM kinnies on sight; They just hate men in general; Extremely smart and/or street smart

MM: Also constantly suffering from idiots around them; They are so pretty, but very modern n with the trend when it comes to fashion; They are so stable and sure in themselves, we love to see it; Definitely witnessed friends go through VERY cringe romantic relationships; Doesn't talk much in a group context, but if you start talking with them, they are an awesome friend💕💗; When protected by WQ kinnies, they'll insist that they didn't need up, but they'll secretly like it👀

WN: Classic shy and sweet TM; People were absolutely attracted to them before because they thought they fit a trope, and it was deeply upsetting to them; They are SO INDECISIVE; Their fear over making core decisions is immeasurable; They have an intense fear of emails; "Please don't perceive me..."; Can pop off when defending a friend, and it's very hot of them

XY: "Okay, but like, I'm just saying...a pocket knife would be good for self-defense because-"; They joke about concerning things in discord vcs at 3 am that everyone mutually chooses to ignore; Are adorably extroverted; "Omg you like candy too?! LETS BE BESTIES!!💕🎵"; Are oddly sweet considering they relate to Xue Yang; Definitely tried the goth look once, but they still looked like a cupcake; The hugging type of friend; Occasionally bratty for attention

SL: "Why do all these people lack common sense?"; Had 1 (one)(uno) crush and then never liked anyone ever again; Everyone calls their lifestyle dull, but they just say that they value consistency; You have to plan a meet-up with them 2 weeks in advance or else they will PANIK; Their form of love is helping you manage your finances; Are actually quite mature and wise once you get them talking

XXC: YOU ARE SO PURE, WHY ARE YOU ON THE INTERNET; Weirdly aged and ageless in personality; Also the mom friend, but they aren't burnt out, unlike JYL kinnies; Wear super cute, oversized sweaters, I don't make the rules; sweater paws HNNG; Sometimes a bit out of the loop, but they're doing their best; Jump around in a conversation; Found family is their absolute jam; An extreme empath, so they have to protect themselves from too much depressing stuff, like the news

Okay, that's it for now! I just picked out some of the MDZS people that stood out the most to me for now bc man, this is long, but lemme know if you want my take on any other MDZS character!

[zylian]

I can’t wrap my head around Vitalasys reasonings

At the end he wanted op right? Like that’s why he let Spoke do what he did?

Than why is he SO upset at Zam? I feel like Zams actions did utterly nothing to Vitalasys plans, it was only talk that could of been easily forgotten.

Why did he throw his entire reasoning onto Zam and than when Zam said “I don’t want to be your rock” Vitalasy proceeded to keep caring about every little thing Zam was doing

Even after all that he says how much he wants to repeatedly kill Zam over and over which just shows his ignorance to not remembering? Not knowing? That Zam was hunted by Mapicc, an old teammate, because he betrayed. Just why would Vitalasy claim to care so much about Zam yet say such things.

I just don’t understand it, cause it makes it look like Zam was being strung along the second he first meets Vitalasy but why would Vitalasy put himself through all that if his main goal was getting op

Why care so much when he knew the damage was done. Also the revenge plans?? He had way too much going on and he did not handle it well at all. How the hell did his fall out with Spoke even happen?? Since they apparently weren’t faking it

I just don’t get why he cared so much that Zam was working with Spoke when Spokes been the very thing he’s been half protecting and telling Zam is under his control. How was anyone supposed to know why he hated Spoke so much when he kept pulling 180s

I feel like him bringing up the “reporting to save all servers” should of never been brought up because it only added to suspicion and didn’t help convince anyone

Like I understand Zams perspective and Subz’s perspective of things and why they think like they did by the end of the season but why did Vitalasy contradict himself so often??

I just don’t get it, it’s like he had this huge thingy he was dealing with so he preplanned lore but didn’t like it when it didn’t go his way and chose to not adapt to the teammate/ppl he made it revolve around.

I can see him adapt in some places, sure, but his ignorance was crazy, he expected Zam to drop his character lore entirely until the next season???

Why doesn’t Vitalasys reasoning exist outside of Zam? That would be Spoke. But no one knows wtf is with them cause it’s behind the scenes! So because he couldn’t really bring it up he pushed his lore more towards Zam??? WHY?!?

Also him banning himself after knowing Zam almost banned himself twice “for his sake” just showed how he didn’t care about anyone. Only banning himself under that false pretence to shift their attention back on the server.

His character makes me so incredibly upset, felt so weird with how important his character was supposed to be yet he wants to stay in the sidelines

I feel like Zam and Subz both have their flaws yet they still tried to adapt in some way that fits themselves. Like knowing the other person well enough to do certain actions that work with it.

Vitalasy was shocked Zam knew that Subz would have died in the end and it felt like Vitalasy truly never saw his team as a whole.

Subz saw it, he saw Vitalasy and Zam struggling to interact and knew things would need to be dealt with but Vitalasy couldn’t see how well Subz and Zam worked together. He didn’t assume, he didn’t even notice how much those two cared for each other. Which also puts the question of his focus on “revenge” while his teammates were still getting hunted. Why did he have a moral crisis too??

Man this gives me a headache trying to think about, even if the videos come out with explanations, his character could of handled everything so much better without leaking ANYTHING than wtf actually happened

Vitalasys story is actually focused on Spoke and I really want to know wtf happened

((Sorry I just need to flesh out Vitalasys character so au’s I think of work better cause right now he’s giving wet cat energy))

[thin-violin]

ana diary

there’s this girl, maybe we’ll call her Liza. Liza has an eating disorder, and just needs everybody to fucking know. (she has her personality problems, i’d never be friends with her one way or another).

but whenever she’s with anyone, she just has to announce how she hasn’t eaten, and it makes me insane because i also have never eaten by that point in the day!!! but i don’t brag about it bc i’m not a shitty person who wants to deliberately bring down the vibe for a little attention??

like, it’s entirely one thing to seek out help, to confide in the people close to you. it’s totally something else to brag about your eating disorder just so people will stress themselves with trying to save you! you are 21, not 15. it’s too old to be so inconsiderately throwing around words that you know affect people.

and that’s what makes me So Mad when people do this (anyone, Liza, or anyone else) because when you have an eating disorder or you struggle with disordered eating, you Know how deeply and legitimately words alone can impact someone. one mention of someone’s eating disorder is enough to send someone spiraling. we all know this, it’s literally half the battle. the whole thing takes you over, anything can trigger you. i know this, liza knows this, we all know this!!

and there are a bunch of younger (smaller) students in my major who brag about their eating disorders too… they’re typically only 18-19, but definitely old enough to understand.

anyways, that’s why my eating disorder has actually come back so severely this time. is because ppl around me kept bragging.

i have a couple closer friends who’ve also dealt with eating disorders and honestly?? praying to god that they don’t notice because that’s not something i can deal with!!! (also, i’ve had conversations with both of them about being affected by people who brag about their eating disorders… i really hope they don’t think too closely about any of it)

i have another friend who, maybe i’m being paranoid, but i swear he knows. maybe it was just because we were both drunk/high/crossed (dunno which he was, but i know which one i was!) and he hits me with the

“i was just thinking about how important what we put in our bodies is. we really need to nourish ourselves, that stuff really impacts you.”

and i was like “hehe yeah 😶”

also… speaking of being high… i get so wired sometimes now after i smoke. not always because i have the tolerance of a god! but, especially when i was dealing with a lot of anxiety, just a little weed was sending me to shakeville! she was fr vibrating after half a bowl and then cried in front of my friend

anyway, things aren’t going the greatest, i’m struggling to keep this whole eating disorder thing under wraps. but at this point, i’m a fully grown adult, i like to think that everyone will just turn a blind eye bc it’s my life and it’s not their job to help me.

but i need someone to help me!! i need someone to help me recover! even though i can’t recover because i’ll immediately gain back everything i lost, and very realistically more as well!! so i just need people to notice because i’ve worked so hard at starving myself and i’m the only one who can appreciate my efforts. and i need everyone to not see a thing because i’m so so so sooo ashamed of it all

[knxfesck]

Not and expert at all but one thing I've noticed about how people talk about economically recovering countries, or post-soviet states, etc etc is that almost every average person has shit to deal with on some level. You can't pretend that there isn't an issue because there's no way to not be aware. People will quickly point out how awful it is/was and how they're so glad they don't live there or hated living there. But in states like america, nobody (generalization) says that. They all point to the ''land of the free'' bullshit and ignore issues. Especially people from the places mentioned, and even more especially people who just don't have it in them to care. The american population is much more detached from the issues with their country because everyone who doesn't personally have to deal with problems caused by these issues or can still live a relatively nice life doesn't see anything wrong, or bother to mention it if they do. Thats the insidious thing about fascism and conservative ideology to me. Theres always people who aren't affected that think everything's fine, or working well for them, who refuse to believe anyone who's affected by it. And many of them are influential to the government.

[charcubed]

I keep seeing posts that are like "interpretations of bi!Dean and gay!Dean are equally valid!" and I used to be like, sure, straight!Dean is definitely wrong but beyond that, see him how you want, who cares.

But now (esp after the Last Call script) I just don't understand the gay!Dean truthers? I follow quite a few on sm, and when I initially followed them I was like "they accept Dean is queer, that's good enough for me." But now they're really starting to get to me and it's not really worth arguing about to them, but I wanted to rant to you about it, cuz you get it.

The script literally included "gorgeous women" in the bar. Dean has canonically been sexually AND romantically attracted to women. He's based off THEE bisexual Neal Cassady.

Like I'm not really trying to defend m/w relationships (lol) but why do even queer ppl insist on erasing his identity when it's so clear? Why do they have to take that away?

Gay!Dean in AUs is one thing, but in the actual, textual canon of the show, Dean is bi. And no, gay!Dean and bi!Dean are NOT equally valid interpretations. And I don't think I'm an asshole for saying that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry it took a few days to get to this. Work and life have kept me busy and tired!

Unironically and non-sarcastically, Anon, I'm glad you've seen the light and seem to understand this topic more now. You are, of course, entirely correct. And you're not an asshole for saying it either.

I'm going to take this opportunity to answer your (potentially rhetorical) questions, and also bounce off of you and lay some stuff out about this topic in general at length for the first time–despite the fact that it may turn me into public enemy #1 again. I am already hated for non-combatively voicing these facts on Twitter (this thread tends to be considered one of the "ground zeroes" of the nonexistent "debate" lol), but I have avoided being dog-piled on Tumblr so far, so... fingers crossed I can miraculously keep it that way!

My hope is that anyone who is predisposed to taking this topic very personally just moves on instead of attacking me (or subposting me?) for any of what I'm about to say. I'm also not forcing anyone to read this, before anyone's like "that's way too many words" or "it's not that serious lol."

I do think this topic is important. I've made the decision to publicly spell out why. And if anyone doesn't want to read it, that's their prerogative.

To your questions, Anon:

I think a lot of this comes down to a fandom-wide problem (all fandoms recently, not just SPN) of not understanding the difference between headcanon and canon, the dimensions as to why that distinction does have its uses and its necessity, and the value in both. I'll get into this later.

But in this fandom specifically, based on observation and lengthy conversations I've had with a dozen long-time fans who are my friends... I personally think it's maybe a new dimension of viewpoint that's branched out from a holdover of "all interpretations are valid" being the party line people have clung to a very long time. (That’s also true in other fandoms, but I think it’s especially true here.) It's a form of solace people don't want to deviate from. No one wants to be seen as or feel like the ~jerk~ who's ~invalidating another person's view of canon~ in response to someone else's knee-jerk reaction of hurt. This is a fandom with early-2000s cultural baggage and context, where people dealt with feeling like the "crazy fangirls" who shipped Destiel and dared to call out queer subtext. Misha's "You're not crazy" tweet exists for a reason. I do feel like a lot of well-meaning people–aside from misunderstanding or being ignorant to the analytical roots of this topic and why they absolutely matter–just know what it feels like to have their thoughts on queer content in a show feel "invalidated," and they don't want to be perceived as doing that to other people. And/or: they’ve felt invalidated before (in this fandom or others!), and so they’re hypersensitive to anything they perceive as doing that to them again, especially if they tied personal identity into the projections they’re making onto the media they enjoy.

I understand that people don’t want to seem ~mean~ or make waves. I also don't want to seem mean or be mean, which is why I try to be as clear as possible whenever I talk about this and I never go after people directly (or interact/reference any of the many subtweets from people who openly talk shit about me. haha). But the facts shouldn't be seen as "mean"; they are simply facts. And yes, they absolutely matter.

Because the thing is... none of the above has any bearing on the nuances of the topic at hand, the indisputable fact that Dean is bisexual in canon and that claiming otherwise is erasure, and the truth that none of this should be seen as a threat to people's headcanons. 

These are all things that people should understand, and I will not apologize for knowing that and saying it. Misunderstanding this–making the false claim that “all interpretations of Dean’s sexually are equally valid as long as you see him as queer”–is an act of bisexual erasure in this context, and it often (unintentionally!) plays into biphobic talking points. And yeah, in my opinion, that’s something people should care about because it’s worthy of both personal and fandom examination. It is, in fact, why “representation” matters at all.

Let’s not kid ourselves: the bulk of this fandom-wide discourse is about Bi Dean vs Gay Dean. So, y’know, that’s the bulk of how I’m going to address it to just get it all out there.

Right out the gate, let me clarify this: I am not saying–now or ever–that those who are self-proclaimed “Gay Dean truthers” or argue that “Dean being gay in canon is a valid interpretation” are deliberately coming from a place of malice and the intent to contribute to bisexual erasure. By all means, I’m sure most aren’t! Nonetheless, intent does not equal impact. I’ve even seen people say “I’m a Gay Dean truther and I’m bisexual, so how could I possibly be contributing to bi erasure by arguing for Gay Dean?”  But in this situation–as in any other–no one is immune from unwittingly perpetuating harm, even including bi people. And it’s important to understand why that is.

“Interpretations” are not opinions, not all are equal, and they do require some level of skill. This is not a personal attack, or a moral judgement on anyone, or somehow a threat to people’s enjoyment of a favorite character. It is just fact.

Gay Dean is not a valid possibility in canon. There is no lens that justifies an argument of it with canonical basis. I have to break down why, in order to sufficiently express why claiming otherwise is a harmful position to take, so bear with me.

(No, this is not an invitation for a Gay Dean truther to treat this like a “debate” with me or waste time writing out a counterargument. Please just exit the tab if you’re somehow here battling that urge.)

For someone to say that Dean is gay in canon, here is an incomplete list of what has to be erased, ignored, or explained away:

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Cassie.

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Lisa (whether or not one thinks she was ever the ~ultimate love of his life~, attraction and love were present.)

• His stash of and enjoyment of porn that includes women, which is referenced many times.

• The moments where he was seduced by a female-presenting monster.

• Each and every time he made a reference to or joke about his attraction to women.

• Any fling he ever had with a woman on screen, and the enjoyment he had in the process.

The man is canonically sexually and romantically attracted to women, and he has acted upon that and even enjoys that about himself in wildly diverse contexts. It is a blatant part of the text of the show. (The fact that we are at the point where this is somehow a main point of contention rather than his attraction to men does make me feel a tiny bit insane, to be honest.)

Now, in my experience (which I don’t claim is comprehensive!), the people who argue for Gay Dean tend to explain ALL of this away under some form of universal umbrella of Dean being “performative,” a variation on compulsive heterosexuality they ascribe to him. The claim or explanation tends to be that Dean was performing a mostly-faked attraction to women based on his father’s expectations and outward pressures he received in the culture of his life. Moments are often cherry-picked out of context to support this “reading.” 

Who is Dean supposedly performing FOR, even in the moments where he acts on his attraction to women when he is alone? How does this explain his significant relationships with women like Cassie and/or the legitimate visible enjoyments he received from those interactions, as well as his flings with women throughout the show? How does this explain things like the Last Call script, where Dean is very clearly written as attracted to “gorgeous women,” a factoid that is not only very clear on screen but also (of course) written in literal black and white?

(There are no sufficient answers to these rhetorical questions. Once again: please do not waste time trying to give me any.)

And what evidence are Gay Dean people using for comphet or performative Dean? The “evidence” is often a misread of canon, pointing towards the consistent theme and false goal presented in the text of the show of characters’ efforts to strive for an “apple pie life,” aka a heteronormative ideal family. Gay Dean people misrepresent what this theme and through-line in the show is actually about, which is the totality of learning to accept your life rather than striving for something ill-fitting, that what you need and want need not be mutually exclusive (family life including fulfilling romance + hunting life can coexist), family is what you make of it and how you define it, and there are no true limitations on what all of this “should” be. While these themes are inherently queer, they are not about narrow performances of masculinity, femininity, or sexual identity, but about making space for ALL forms of all of the above–AND about identifying what it is that one wants and thinks they can’t have.

Namely, for Dean, that’s a version of settling down in a life that fulfills him in every direction, with an open and honest mutual relationship with the person he is in love with. This latter point would be true whether Cas was a man or a woman (though the fact that he is a man of course adds further dimension of interest to the story). Dean doesn’t think he can have a romantic relationship / family that lasts, and by later seasons that yearning is a key part of his character. The times it didn’t work out for him weren’t because those other people were women, but rather because the “lesson” he internalized from traumatic instances of loss is that hunters don’t get to do ~the love thing~ or get the settled down life. This is stated in the text of the show multiple times, and that’s also why Dean seeing examples of hunters who made any kind of balanced life work (especially masculine queer hunters like Jesse and Cesar) is pointed and purposeful. To say it’s about comphet instead (with no sufficient canon evidence that supports that) disregards a key point that’s central to Supernatural’s story, and in my opinion it disregards it to its detriment.

For Dean’s journey in particular, it is about freedom from limitations of structure, and knowing that he contains multitudes. The things he got from John–loving classic rock and loving his car, for example–are no less core joyful parts of Dean simply because they originated from his father. Dean can love classic rock and still occasionally love a Taylor Swift song, for example. He can love cowboy movies and manly movies, and also enjoy chick-flicks. It’s the idea of learning that there are no limitations, not that masculine interests are not inherently something he loves for himself or that aren’t important parts of his identity. It’s an expansion to openly include more, not a switch or a narrowing. The same applies to his sexual attraction and his queer identity. He can be attracted to cowboys and bikers, and also be attracted to gorgeous women. Him being attracted to / loving women does not mean he cannot and does not feel attraction and love for men; likewise, him being in love with a man does not mean he wasn’t and isn’t attracted to women. 

(“Last Call,” as an episode, exists in part to drive the totality of these points home, and emphasize that Dean’s attraction to men is something he’s known about himself for most of his life and acted on previously. So is most of the queercoding and queer subtext applied to Dean–which is specifically coding him as bisexual. His attraction to men is sometimes established or made clear because it echoes his attraction to women, etc. etc. Dean’s canonical attraction to men is a whole other post.)

So here we come to why saying otherwise and trying to shoehorn a comphet narrative onto Dean in canon is harmful:

Aside from the fact that to claim Dean’s joyful attraction to women is performative is to cut out chunks of the story and is thus not supported by canon, and it relies on making assumptions about and projecting onto the text… unintentionally or not, the implication is that bisexuality is not queer enough, or that being gay is somehow “queerer” and thus more compelling and a preferred concept, and that attraction to different genders is a heterosexual / straight trait requiring removal. No one is queering a text in a more revolutionary way or unlocking a ~secret good Supernatural~ by making a bisexual man into a gay man. That’s simply not how this works.

“Preferring” an argument for Gay Dean in canon requires explaining away or misreading all of those moments Dean has with women, essentially replacing them with trauma or suffering or discomfort that–in my observations–also sometimes rely on stereotypes of gay men. It also involves potentially preferring to twist them into behaviors Dean must have universally put himself through not out of genuine joyful desire but at minimum because he felt like he “should” or at maximum in an attempt to “fix” his “gayness,” even when no one was watching. And it points to the pressures Dean experienced about living a life that fit him fully–pressures that exist not just in his world, but also in our patriarchal world and society–and it implies that queer people can’t authentically experience attraction or love to someone of a different gender, because maybe they’re actually just “performing” the heteronormative ideal. As in: a “visually queer” relationship is the end goal, right? For Dean, that’s an m/m relationship... so surely m/f matters less, or maybe it can’t be a genuine and significant part of a queer person’s life.

Once again: I do not think any of this is intentional on the part of Gay Dean truthers, nor do I think it’s done with malice. Nonetheless, these harmful biphobic viewpoints permeate these conversations and misconceptions when people say these arguments are valid.

There is no canonical basis for explaining away all of Dean’s moments with women, and the story does not provide or point to any kind of cohesive narrative reason to do so. YES, people absolutely experience comphet in real life, and those experiences are valid and exist. YES, real gay men can and do sleep with or have nuanced romantic relationships with women before realizing they’re gay later in life. No, that does not mean that’s how analysis of a fictional character in a fictional story always works, especially in regards to a story built over time like Supernatural’s unique approach and the way it was molded to place queerness and specifically bisexuality at the core of Dean’s story.

Ascribing comphet to Dean in canon–or making any other insufficient justification for explaining away his attraction to women–is personal projection. And yes, it is bisexual erasure.

This is not a position fueled by personal hurt for me, as I would say the same here whether or not I was personally bisexual. It is an acknowledgement that these conversations don’t exist in a vacuum, and that’s something everyone should care to understand. I know what comphet storylines look like in fiction, and I know they are worth defining as such, and in other fandoms I even defend that very loudly. This is not the case here, and to say it is requires mental acrobatics that are objectively unsupported by canon... and invariably insisting otherwise perpetuates one of these harmful biphobic viewpoints whether or not one realizes it.

To say Gay Dean is a legitimate read of canon–which it is not–supports people who are erasing his varied sexual and romantic attraction to a different gender simply because they’ve decided they want to ignore that. “I like the idea of Dean being gay” does not mean that he is gay in canon, and writing meta to that end is a problem. It’s not an invalidation of someone on a personal level or some weird variation of homophobia to say that, and I do think people should maybe examine why they seemingly like the idea of him being gay more than him being bi, or why they staunchly defend it (or any other “different queer reading”) as a possibility. 

I understand there may be the urge to be like “is it that serious” or “this is just a CW show,” but to that I would say… then why are we all here?

Clearly, most people do still care about queer representation on some level and understand that queer subtext is present and acknowledge that Dean isn’t straight... hence the origin of this new prevalent concept of “as long as you say Dean’s queer then it’s fine.”

But in any piece of media, the text is the text is the text. The text can also be compelling, and fascinating, and contain value whether or not it’s an exact reflection of you personally as a fan and as a person. Sometimes there is arguably even greater value in being able to find reasons to relate to the humanity of a character or in a story even though elements differ from who you are personally. It is an exercise in empathy, and it is a pillar of why humans tells stories to each other to expand our viewpoints, and it sometimes results in examining the sources of that empathy. It’s why “representation matters”: not just so we can see ourselves, but so we can see others, and find reason to empathize despite differences. There’s unquantifiable power in that, and it’s also why the diversity of queer experiences and identities should be championed and acknowledged both in fiction and in reality, not turned into a monolith. Our solidarity amongst our individual queer differences and identities is our truest version of strength and authenticity. We are not all exactly the same, and that’s a good thing. When care is taken to specifically convey that in fiction, it is worth not only acknowledgement but also defense.

So: do we or do we not care about why representation is important, and why these sorts of conversations should exist at all? About censorship of queer storylines, and diversity in the queer community, and solidarity in differences? About bisexual men, a vastly underrepresented group in fiction, and the specific censorship that affected Dean’s bi story accordingly? And about how these viewpoints people can place onto fiction through fandom-wide conversation–like implying Dean is ~queerer~ if you say he’s gay, or that you’re somehow sticking it to the CW and “straight culture” if you suggest he’s gay–can influence biphobia that translates into ways people see bi people in real life?

In other situations even in this fandom, people understand the value of diverse queer experiences. No one would dare to say that “you can argue Charlie is bisexual in canon because as long as you say she’s queer it’s fine.” Charlie is a lesbian. It’s very, very clear, and she shows and states that she is only attracted to women. Dean’s attraction to women in canon is equally clear, and is part of his bisexuality. Why is erasing that defendable?

Look: it is people’s God-given right to write whatever fic they want about “what if” variations of Dean’s sexuality through a different lens. It is not their God-given right to make things up about canon and call it analysis.

It is a universal truth that fandom is always going to take canon and mold it into other versions that they love, for their own personal reasons and in ways that have value to them. That’s why transformative works like fic exist, and it’s why fandom is awesome, and I’m glad people use aspects of their favorite stories to tell other inspired stories that are of personal significance to them. But the word transformative is used for a reason: it’s an alteration of canon. It’s not a bad thing or a personal attack on people to say that.

There is a difference between understanding canon and writing actual meta / analysis of the show, and writing AUs for ones own enjoyment and fulfillment. (This is true on AO3 or on Tumblr/Twitter. I often see posts that are positioned as “meta,” but again, are just cherry-picked weirdness.) These differences are important, as is understanding how headcanons and fic affect surrounding conversations and fandom perceptions. And this fandom seems to have a very big problem with understanding the difference between these things, while taking it extremely personally in a negative way when people try to explain why the difference matters.

Confusing analysis and transformative fandom does a disservice to both, and denying the value in the former is not only a form of anti-intellectualism but also removes some of the beauty in the latter. If we can’t distinguish and differentiate between canon and headcanon, we can’t discuss the value in understanding the canon, nor adequately discuss the artistic value and power in creating derivative variations from it in personal ways. Both are different, both are equal, both are vital, and insisting the distinction is needless hampers conversation across every space. And nowhere is that more true than when one is discussing queer representation and queer censorship, like in the case of Supernatural. Again, why are we here? Why do we care? You cannot argue for and discuss the problems of censorship sufficiently if you don’t understand what was censored–and in Dean’s case, that was his love for Cas and his bisexuality.

I leave you with this (probably unneeded) analogy:

Imagine Dean’s a zebra.

(Sorry, EDS community; not that kind of zebra.)

People are trying to say “Dean is a black and white hoofed mammal <3″ and well, that’s accurate, but that doesn’t mean him being a zebra isn’t its own unique thing. A whole bunch of people are looking at him though and saying “well I prefer to say that Dean’s a black and white horse,” because they like that viewpoint better. Close enough, right? A black and white horse is basically a zebra, right? And then there’s the people who are like “I think Dean’s a cow!” and it’s like, okay, no idea where you came from, but whatever.

The point is that those are all entirely different fucking things. They’re different animals. Someone wanting Dean to be a black and white horse doesn’t make him less of a zebra. Pretending otherwise is absolute nonsense.

This debate/discussion/discourse is equally nonsensical. That is the logic (or illogic) that applies here.

Just because Dean is “queer” doesn’t mean any queer categorization underneath that umbrella suddenly equally applies.

Dean is bisexual. And he is “queer” because he’s bisexual.

Those are the facts. 

And for the love of God, please... I really don’t think I’m an asshole for saying it.

So, to whoever made it this far: please do me the courtesy of not hating me for it or trying to bait me into a fight. 

I’m tired. Thanks.

----

EDIT: Couple of good additions!

•  @doctorprofessorsong added some good details about how some of these harmful biphobic concepts translate to real life, and real things that bi people struggle with.

• A lesbian anonymously sent in her perspective as someone who enjoys gay Dean headcanons/fic and agrees with this post, and agrees that the fact that Dean is bi in canon is important.

[noblechaton]

Well I for one would love to hear that story!

okay! um. I'm gonna try not to get too personal or w/e but I've also never really............talked about this before so uh here it goes! also sorry this is gonna be long lmao

I've sorta always known that I was........well. queer! and I mean that seriously too - I still remember feeling weird and different as far back as kindergarten in a way that lasted thru my entire school career despite obviously not really understanding any of it way back when with that sorta being how things were as I kept going thru school. like I knew I wasn't like everyone else around me but of course I didn't know like why or how or what it meant that I thought both sides of the room were cute or why I'd had feelings towards friends of the same gender and it was something I just sorta sat on for the bulk of my life up till into high school where I started learning more about LGBTQ stuff on my own time and finding it represented in places (like funny enough in Doctor Who) that helped further my curiosity and with more knowledge I sorta started understanding myself more as a result and like I think I realized I was (or at least identified most with being) bisexual* around sophomore year? and honestly it was really liberating to embrace how I'd always felt with like an understanding to it and I definitely wasn't shy about it lmao. it came up a few times actually and I was proud to tell ppl I wasn't straight and it felt really good to know that instead of just feeling it which ik might sound weird but it’s the best way I can put it and it was like I’d put an element of my life that I didn’t understand for the longest time to rest thinking that was it

that said.......................there was more to it - more to myself - that I've been sitting on and admittedly have been intentionally ignoring and denying for just as long

and I mean it's been something I've kinda been aware for as long as I can remember now with some distinct memories of believing I was "born in the wrong body" (which is a thing I remember saying to and thinking about myself a lot) as far back as kindergarten too and there were times where I aggressively denied this and a few times where I've even gotten mad at myself for thinking such a thing with the most recent instance of this being um. y'know. a few days ago. which is kinda where that anxiety stuff comes in and how like I guess I just feel bad for thinking like this despite not....looking the part or feeling ashamed for....thinking that way mostly out of my own sense of self depreciation. I’ve dealt with an immense self hatred for the majority of my life now and this sort of thing has been used to just kinda throw more fuel on that fire

but despite that I’ve also gotten better about self depreciation over the recent years too! it’s been a long work in progress but I think I’ve made a lot of strides in at least not feeling so down on myself and embracing the more positive aspects of the things I do and say and my personality and existence and all that. it’s definitely a healthier way to live actually finding things to enjoy about urself and accepting the way u are

and like another big aspect of this is that well.....no one’s ever really asked?? what my pronouns are or which gender I am and with that in mind over the last ~10 years I sorta slipped into feeling more comfortable being seen as more nonbinary since I've never felt too much like a boy or a girl for various reasons and I've kinda been fine like that for a while and I'm even still p comfortable there as is! I love ppl perceiving me as they want to perceive me and I want folks to continue doing that! 

but lately it's been on my mind again and I've been thinking about it and kinda passively watching others as they talk to and about me and I've kinda gradually been realizing that as far as self designation I definitely agree more with one gender than the other and even have been sorta subtly dressing more in the style of someone of the opposite gender than the one I was born with and even sometimes refer to myself with those pronouns and like when ppl refer to me like that too it usually just like feels better to me mentally and like despite my own reservations and fears and uncertainties at this point that it’s felt hard to deny that I might actually be that way

it’s all kind of confusing and I’m very nervous about....embracing it like this not bc of the reaction or responses I might get from certain uh sects of ppl online or other ppl in general (which again has been great so far honestly) but bc I guess I’m kinda subject to that fear of like not believing my own feelings on the matter are real or valid - that I’m not actually this way even tho a lot of signs and my own beliefs tell me I am that way. y’know? but especially lately I’ve been embracing it more as a fact and feeling better mentally as a result despite my own reservations

all of this to say that I'm still sorta figuring myself out and that while I might not have had all the answers right away I’ve still be gradually piecing things together over my years and while it’s been....scary honestly to even sorta consider it’s also all sorta been getting clearer the more time I spend actually embracing those thoughts and feelings rather than shoving them away or otherwise ignoring them so. uh. I guess u could consider this me coming out in my own way

I’m trans! 

and I'm proud to be who I am! 

and hey hopefully in saying all of this and talking about it further if ppl wanna know more or w/e maybe I can help someone else feel more comfortable in their own identity too!

[pink-imagines]

snow day

request: Hi hi! Can I get a headcannon of needy Todoroki were Todoroki is in the ~mood~ 😏but his s/o is out shopping. But when they get back he’s all on them and pretty much attacking them w kisses and cuddles.

a/n: let’s just say for this fic’s sake covid never existed!! (stay safe ppl, try to stay at home as much as possible!) also hi! i’m back, i literally have no excuse now but i’ll be posting a bit more soon hopefully. (you can probably tell that i started writing this back in january)

warnings: mentions of something smutty that might go down but no smut and no other warnings!

masterlist

requesting rules

The snow couldn’t seem to stop falling. It had already been snowing for the past few days, but the weather didn’t change. It stayed the same and the snow piled on and on. You quite liked this kind of weather, somehow seeing people wrapped up in their scarfes with beanies dragged far over their ears made you feel warm - despite the cold weather.  Today was your day off work, so you had a wonderful lazy morning with a bath and eating breakfast while watching TV. The only thing you could think of that would make this better was if Shoto would be here. He was, unlike you, out doing work. You remember teasing him lightly about it yesterday, that you got to spend the day at home while he had to be working out in the snow. In reality you worried that he’d become sick or catch a cold, even though you knew he stayed safe.  Either way, you decided to treat yourself today with some shopping. It had been so long since you could actually go out to shop, so despite the cold you wanted to go outside.

You took the train to the mall and walked through the stores. The only thing you were planning on buying was a sweater, considering that you had been frequently stealing more and more of Shoto’s hoodies so you should probably get some of your own. When you saw the little jewlery shop you stopped dead in your tracks. Knowing that your wallet would start screaming if you walked in there you decided to keep it to window shopping. Earrnings, necklaces, bracelets... but most importantly rings. The memory of your mom straight up asking Shoto when he was planning on proposing came to mind. A smile grazed your lips, he had been so flustered that he choked on whatever he was eating. You had been trying to tell your mom off when he put a hand on your thigh and lightly brushed his thumb across your skin there. “No, it’s fine.. we’ll see in the future.”, he had said and had given your mom a soft smile. If it weren’t for the fact that people were around you would’ve started giggling, but you held yourself back and kept glancing over the rings. One in particular caught your eye, a simple silver one with a smaller diamond. You knew you couldn’t wear a lot of jewlery for your line of work so it seemed so perfect. For the sake of the memory that your brain decided to pull out from the dust, you took a picture of it and sent it to Shoto. -So... when’s it happening? :P You snickered to yourself and started walking again but your phone buzzed quicker than you expected. -You’re starting to sound like your mom A laugh escaped your lips at the message. However, it did surprise you that he could be texting you back so quickly since he was at work. -I was just joking.. aren’t you supposed to be working right now? The text bubble that indicated that he was typing appeared immediately. -Not on patrol today and I just finished my paperwork. I’m about to go into a meeting though -Is that a warning or a challenge? -Y/N. Do. Not. Yet another laughed made it’s way up your throat and you put your phone away again. He usually sounded cold over text, but you could always see right through it. Maybe that’s what four years spent together does to you. 

The hours passed by as you walked around in the mall. It was actually quite pleasant, as not many people were there considering the fact that it was a weekday. As you were trying on clothing in yet another store you found a sweater that you really liked. It was an oversized black sweater that went down you your mid thigh and the collar was a bit wider, almost creating an off the shoulder look. You smiled at yourself in the mirror. Under the sweater you had the black bralette you had tried on moments before. Both of the items fit you perfectly and together it created a very cute look. Without thinking you sent a picture to Shoto, asking him if you should buy it. Thinking he probably had his phone off during the meeting, you put your phone down and changed back to your clothes. When you had just finished up putting your pants back on you looked at you phone again to see Shoto’s messages... you forgot his messages are connected to his laptop as well. -Y/N I told you I was in a meeting! -I mean you look very pretty, I like the sweater.. but if you’re going to send me pictures while I’m at work please put pants on. This was not a funny situation, is what you tried to tell yourself... but that didn’t stop you from smiling at the thought of his ears going red in the meeting room. -Sorry, I forgot! I’ll make it up to you by making you soba, okay? It took a while for him to answer so you went out of the dressing room and put away the things you weren’t going to buy. -... fine. I’ll be home after this meeting, so maybe around 5. -See you then ;) Were you being cheeky? Yes, but it wasn’t anything that he hadn’t dealt with before. 

After making your purchase you looked at your phone and saw that the clock was nearing 4:45 pm, this meaning that it was time for you to go back home. You went over to the trainstation only to see that the train you were taking home was delayed by 20 minutes due to the snow. With a sigh you sat down on the nearest bench and took out your phone. Because of the 20 minutes it would take to arrive at your home station and the 5 minute walk home, you’d be home in about 50 minutes. Knowing Shoto, he’d probably already be home by now as he most likely managed to cut the meeting short - what was the meaning of staying longer when you had already gotten to the point? Even so, you decided to not call him just yet in case he actually still was in the meeting. 

Time passed and as soon as the clock struck 5:00 pm you got a call. “Hey, are you okay? I’ve been waiting for a few and you’re still not home...”, Shoto’s voice was slightly distorted over the line due to your bad connection but you were still relieved to hear his voice. “The train got delayed, can you believe it?”, you sighed heavily. “Yes I can actually, it’s been snowing all day.”, he said calmly, “Do you need me to pick you up? I can be there in 10 minutes.” “No it’s fine, the train should be here in 5 and then I’ll be at the station in just 20 minutes.”, you stood up and looked by the track for the train. “Are you sure? The train’s probably gonna be packed.” “It’s fine, I have headphones with me so I won’t even notice.”, you smiled at his tries to come get you, “Besides I can practically see the train by now.” “Okay... then I’ll meet you at the station.”, he answered, as if it was nothing. “No, baby, you don’t have to do that. You’ve been at work all day just rest please?”, you reasoned. “I’ll see you in 20 minutes, sweetheart.”, he hung up on you. You were taken aback by the usage of the nickname, he barely ever called you by petnames. Before you could think to much of it the train arrived and you put in your earbuds and got on quickly to find a good seat.

The train wasn’t as packed as Shoto had thought. Though there was a crying child in your cart. The mother who frantically tried to calm her baby down gave you an apologetic smile. You made sure to look friendly back at her to make sure she understood that you didn’t mind. The poor woman was trying to keep her child from screaming while also balancing groceries and a stroller at the same time.  “Do you need any help?”, you asked and took out your earbuds. “Please.”, the woman gave you a relieved look. You took her grocery bags and balanced them against some empty seats. Then you took the stroller from her hands so that she could properly care for her baby. “He’s just a bit hungry...”, she said and took out a bottle to give to the young boy. “... I’ve never understood how parents always know what their children want like that.”, you said mostly to yourself but the woman answered anyways. “I guess it’s an instinct.”, she said with a warm smile, “Thank you for your help. My husband’s working late so he couldn’t take care of the groceries tonight.” “Ah... I understand.”, you nodded. “Are you married?”, she asked and when she saw your shocked face she quickly apologized, “Sorry I didn’t mean to pry, I was just trying to make small talk.” “It’s alright.”, you stifled a laugh, “I’m actually not married... not yet at least, my mom’s been pressuring my boyfriend for a while now so who knows.”, you joked. “Oh, you have a boyfriend. Have you two been together for long?”, her demeanor had changed back to the kind and warm one from before. “A few years, actually.”, you nodded, “He’s a very sweet guy and-... that’s him actually.” Your phone started buzzing and Shoto’s caller-ID flashed up on the screen. His picture that you had chosen was of him holding a puppy husky that you had been thinking of adopting. Sadly, you ended up not doing that since you were both to busy to take care of a dog - let alone a puppy. You excused yourself to the woman next to you and answered. “Hi, babe, is everything okay?”, you asked. “Yeah, I just wanted to say that I’m by the station. Was the train packed?”, he spoke softly, which made it clear for you that he was in fact outside. “Not at all actually, it’s quite roomy. I told you that you didn’t have to wait for me though...”, you sighed. “I wanted to. It’s fine.”, he said and then added in a whisper, “Then I get to see you sooner.” Your face flushed up in all shades of pink as he said that. He was never usually this affectionate, but you couldn’t deny that you absolutely loved it. “You’re cute, Shoto.”, you chuckled. “Don’t laugh at me.”, you heard him huff slightly. “Sorry, sorry.”, you smiled, “I’ll be by the station in a few minutes if I’m lucky, okay? Thank you for waiting for me.” “No problem... see you soon.”, he said and hung up again. When you turned back to the woman sitting beside her you could tell she was holding back her excitement. “That was the sweetest conversation I’ve ever heard. That sounded like it was straight out of a story!”, she realized what she said and quickly apologized again, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop!” “It’s no problem, we all do it sometimes.”, you tried to control the blush that was creeping across your face but it was near impossible. “I bet he’ll propose to you soon.”, she said and looked back at her baby, “I hope he does.” “Thank you.”, you smiled and looked down at the baby, who was staring back up at you. You waved at the child and he let out a gurgling laugh that had your heart melting. Today was certainly a special day.

You and the woman just happened to get off by the same stop so you helped her get her grocery bags out of the cart. When you saw Shoto standing by himself you waved and called his name. He turned to you and smiled softly, almost longlingly. “He’s handsome too... wow, you’re lucky.”, she smiled to you, “Thank you for the help, miss.” “No problem!”, you smiled back and watch her walk away before turning your attention to the man walking towards you. “I haven’t seen you all day.”, he embraced you with a sigh. Hugs were normal for the two of you, but absolutely not in public. Your body stiffened in shock before settling in his arms and hugging him back. Eventually he let go of you and took a step back. “Who was that woman? Do I know her?”, he asked. “No, I just met her on the train. Let’s get home, it’s freezing out here!”, you said and took his arm in yours.

The two of you walked in silence, as you usually did, but there was one thing that was running around in your mind. “Do you ever think of having children?”, you asked out of the blue, your breath forming white clouds in the cold air. Shoto stopped in his tracks and looked at you. It wasn’t until then you had realized what you had said, maybe not directly but the question was floating around your heads. “Children, huh?”, Shoto took a deep breath. You peered up at him through your eyelashes, afraid that he’d look disgusted or even scared. He didn’t. His mind was somewhere else, you could tell by the far away look in his eyes. Shoto’s face was dusted pink but, just like yours, you couldn’t tell if it was because he was flustered or cold. “I’ve never thought about it, actually.”, he looked at you which made you look away, “Not against the thought of it though. Let’s talk it through some other time.” He said it so casually. As if this was obvious and not a huge step in a relationship. Then he just kept walking. If it wasn’t for your arm that was still wrapped around his, you would’ve forgotten to walk along with him.  “Don’t be embarrased about it, please.”, he said suddenly, “It’s good to bring up these things.” “I just thought about it... you know... the woman on the train and everything...”, you muttered. “Sweetheart.”, there was the nickname again, “I told you not to be embarrased about it.” After a few years you’d think he wouldn’t be able to make you weak in the knees anymore. That was wrong. You hummed in response to what he said and leaned your head against his shoulder. There was an urge in you to feel a sudden intimacy between the two of you and that was the first thing that came to mind. “Are you cold?”, he asked. “Not extremely...”, you looked up at the clear sky, “... maybe it’s not the best time for cold soba though.” “It’s always a good time for cold soba.”, he answered, completely serious but you still laughed. You laughed because it sounded like him. You laughed because it would ease the excitement stuck in your stomach from what he had said before. You laughed because at that moment you felt so incredibly wonderful - and who wouldn’t laugh at that?

When you got home you made yourself a cup of tea while Shoto stuck to heating up by the radiator. “Are you sure you still want cold soba? We could always make warm soba.”, you suggested as you poured the hot water into your cup. “I say we make cold soba.”, Shoto shrugged as he kept his hands on the warm radiator. His nose was still red from the cold. “Then we make cold soba.”, you nodded.

After eating and cleaning up you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Since you usually sat with a bit of space in between the two of you, you did so. However, this time Shoto scooched closer to you and put your head on his shoulder, only to then wrap his arm around your shoulders. “Is this okay?”, he asked quietly to not disturb the show playing. You could care less about the show, your heart was beating loud enough for you to not even hear it. No words would come out of your mouth so you hummed as an answer to his question. He had been acting very lovingly the entire night, something that he didn’t always do.  “Are you okay, Shoto?”, you asked suddenly, “Did something happen at work?” “Why do you ask?” “You just seem... more cuddly?”, you looked up at him, catching him staring but he didn’t look away. “I just missed you then I guess.”, he said, “... and you sent me that picture and that wasn’t very fair.” He looked away and now he couldn’t blame the cold on his reddened face. That’s how you remembered your sweater that you had bought. “Right the sweater!”, you exclaimed, “Can I show you?” “Sure.”, he said and watched you get up, “You seem very excited about this sweater.” “Yes! And you should be too, because now I won’t be stealing yours anymore!”, you took your bag and walked over to the bathroom. “But I like it when you wear my clothes...” “Then...I won’t be stealing your clothes as often anymore!”, you smiled before closing the bathroom door behind you.

You walked out of the bathroom, dressed just like you were in the picture, and walked up to him. He looked over at you, looked you up and down, and then stood up. “What do you think?”, you smiled as he pulled you closer by your waist so that you could wrap your arms around his neck. “I like it more when you wear my clothes... but this is also very nice.”, he leaned down and kissed you quick, “Let’s go have that talk about having children...”, he whispered and started guiding you to the bedroom.

-

permanent taglist: @theoceanphoenixhasrisen | @raven-r0ses | @darkbeautyswife | @sondering-thoughts | @gowoneandonlyone | @bnhabadass | @queenblackcat | @jayetheanimefreek101 | @witchy-anna | @cutest-celestial-princess | @missymysa | @karebear5118 | @weebartistinc | @crystal-lilac | @brithedemonspawn​ | 

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

I’d say that Luz and Vee def would be siblings next time they interact, tho’ I wonder if Vee will alter her appearance a bit to differentiate herself from Luz so others don’t get confused after Luz comes back to the Human Realm. Luz and Hunter have cousin vibes, y’all know those annoying cousins from family get-togethers where all/most of the cousins fight and get into big trouble. I understand other peoples’ thoughts on them being siblings too, me and my brother fight like that as well but I remembering getting into more fights and trouble with cousins.

As for thoughts on “Yesterday’s Lie”, I understand why I’ve been seeing ppl say that they feel underwhelmed but in all honesty that’s probably an issue of overhype. most y’all thought the doppelganger was some evil eldtrich monster sent by Belos but actually Vee is babey and needs hugs. The ep had to juggle alot and while ya’z could point out “Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door” as a “had a lot but pulled it off”, keep in mind that the Hooty ep dealt with plotlines we’ve been seeing develop overtime, meanwhile YL gave us a bunch of new info with characters we both haven’t seen alot of and at all, think of it like the pilot ep in that it had to intro a bunch of stuff quickly. There’s a few things I wished it expanded on but because the mouse cut the show the writers had to figure out how to get the story they wanted with what little time they have and its been going well so far.

I can hope that we get a few more eps with Camilla and Vee in the future, like maybe because Vee can smell magic, she finds a puddle of Titan’s Blood (at the “The Sleeping Giant” in Connecticut and they finds their way into the Isles and Camilla sees how well Luz is thriving there)

[steelycunt]

jumping in to say i also love love love how u portray the prank b/c s was wrong for it like that was a whole macro aggression and dude needs to be made to sweat a little honestly. i think sometimes the severity of it can be underplayed in fandom (among marauders ppl at least) b/c it just was not really dealt with in canon at all and that is imo a shame b/c it feels like such a pivotal moment for both r and s. obv r will go back to s like he adores him (and is for sure a little pathetic) but it wasn’t like s just…made an oops sort of mistake like yes it was a mistake but it was one that was quite fucking severe actually!! and imo as portrayed in canon unintentionally realistic in the sense that sometimes ppl grow up surrounded by bigotry and wholeheartedly disagree w/ all of it but still internalize some of that shit and don’t quite understand certain consequences cos theyre privileged! and they learn and grow from that or should anyway! like not everything needs to be cut and dry morally obv but the implication he did nothing wrong…nah. does not sit right with me. anyway lots of love adore what ur doing adore ur work and thank u for the fics xx

ahh hi hello babs!! absolutely agree with all of this. i dont like it when the prank is underplayed, not least because as u say i think its a pretty crucial moment in r/s' relationship (romantic or not) n even after remus forgives him it's going to have a longlasting effect on the way he sees sirius and his relationship with him. my memory of canon is poor but im pretty sure in poa sirius still isnt particularly remorseful abt it? which i guess is where my (and lots of peoples) interpretation of the prank is gna deviate lol because...he's gna be a lot more guilty in the wip. because i mean!! knowing the consequences remus could face, his insecurities surrounding his condition n the effect that has on his relationships, and knowing how tenuous his secret/position at school is...its a pretty cruel, ignorant thing to exploit him n his condition for. so its a shame for both their characters when its swept under the rug!! its a point where sirius has to reevaluate himself and how he's distanced (or failed to distance) himself from the bigotry he grew up around, and i agree...it should be a point where he's made to fucking sweat a little, lol

[summonerscenarios]

Hello, whenever you're able to, can you make the reactions of the Summoners + Gullinbursti and Agyo reacting to MC2 coming back all scratched and bruised? I love when the boys get worried about the MC

First request post of 2021 let’s go~! dfghgfd honestly don’t we all love seeing ppl worry about the poor MC? I mean the amount of trouble they get dragged into is ridiculous lmao I’m sure there’s some kind of award for that at this point. Hope ya like it hun!

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Shiro

Shiro’s worried - of course he is. Seeing any of the Summoners getting scratched up or injured in fights is enough to warrant concern about them; however, his reaction really depends on how you ended up getting scuffed up. If it was due to jumping in to help someone or getting into an accident he’s going to be very concerned about your health and well being. If it was because you were super reckless and went overboard doing some stupid shit? He’ll absolutely know and you’ll know he knows as soon as you walk through the door and spot him waiting for you. He’s got the disapproving parent face down to a T which you’ve joked about on more than one occasion, but it's clear he’s still genuinely worried once he catches sight of how banged up and bruised you are.

He keeps a few things like plasters and that on him for the little injuries (and for when the D-evil’s get hurt I’ll die with this idea thx), there’s also a first aid kit or two stocked away at the safehouse thanks to the last couple of instances of people (namely you and Kengo) coming back in beaten up and in need of some bandaging up, so thankfully he’s fully prepared to help you. He makes sure you’re sitting down both to get you off of your feet as well as to see where all the scratches are so he knows exactly what he’s working with. Surprisingly, Shiro’s pretty adept at patching you up without hurting you too much - turning your hands and arms around in his hands to make sure he gets every cut and scrape without pressing down too hard as he wipes them over and patches them up. The whole time he works he’ll ask you about what happened this time, listening to you telling him all about what went down as he works, nodding along and humming to let you know that he’s still listening to you whenever you pause. 

Shiro knows that he can’t always stop you from getting hurt, especially when there’s so many things out to get you (and so many things you actively jump into without any regard for your wellbeing whatsoever, like seriously please at least try to keep yourself he worries a lot), but he can at least always be there to patch you back up and get you back on your feet when you’re injured, so he takes this kind of stuff seriously. Even once you’re patched up Shiro makes sure you sit down for a little while to rest a bit - if you have any open cuts the only thing that running around jumping back into trouble will achieve is making it take longer to heal. In the meantime he’ll make some drinks to convince you to stay put, giving the two of you the chance to chat about something that isn’t injury-related as you drink and talk in the safety of the guildhouse.

Kengo

Okay I’m gonna be honest, Kengo’s not entirely surprised to see you all busted up when you run into each other. It’s not like he hasn’t had his fair share of scuffles for various reasons (sometimes he doesn’t even mean to get dragged into them!...sometimes) and he knows that you’re very much the same so it’s not like he doesn’t realize you aren’t gonna come in roughed up sometimes. The two of you have got a pretty mutual understanding - if you need some help patching up you’ve got each other’s backs, namely to avoid getting reamed out by the others for getting into said fights in the first place. Which is exactly why when you guys bump into each other and he sees that you’re sporting a shiner and a busted lip to boot he knows something went down, but he doesn’t worry too much when you flash him a grin and tell him that he missed a hell of a fight, easing his worries that it at least didn’t get too out of hand.

There’s nothing a washcloth and some water won’t fix - at least that’s what he says as he slaps a bowl full of water down in front of you once you’re sat down on the floor and kneels down to get on your level. He leaves your eye be once he makes sure it’s only bruised and not something more serious and focuses on the cuts since they’re the bigger issue. His hands are rugged and his grip’s a little rough when he accidentally brushes over some of the bruised parts of your skin, but Kengo tries his best to be careful, guiding you to tilt your head in his direction with one hand as the other brings the washcloth up to your busted lip. It stings when he touches it and your expression scrunches up at the unpleasant feeling, but you ease up a little as he cleans up the wound and wipes away the blood smearing your mouth. 

Kengo tries to keep the mood as light as possible; he tries to crack a couple jokes to cheer you up but a few of them earn him a playful punch to the shoulder though it makes taking care of you go a lot more smoothly.The cuts at least look better once they’re cleaned up of the blood and marks, and while Kengo does wish he at least had something to wrap em up with he’s glad that you’re at least looking a sight better than you did when you’d initially showed up. 

Ryota

WORRIED. VERY WORRIED. When Ryota catches sight of you he almost immediately drops whatever he's doing and rushes over to you to make sure that you’re okay, expression alight with alarm when he can see how scuffed up you are up close. At the sight of his reaction worrying over you, you feel a bit guilty that you didn’t try to clean yourself up before you arrived, since the bruises and bleeding cuts don't exactly paint the most reassuring picture to the poor boy. Still you try to reassure him that it’s really not that bad - you’ve had worse bruises and most of the scratches are surface wounds anyway; Ryota still frets over you until you at the very least sit down, looking at some of the bruises on the side of your face with brows furrowed in unspoken concern.

Ryota’s asking you what he can do to help the whole time - is there something he can get you? Something to cover the cuts? Maybe some ice for the bruises? He’s pretty sure he could rush to the cafeteria and get some to wrap up in a cloth so you can soothe the ache ,or at least lessen the pain. You end up taking him up on the offer, and he comes back with a pouch of ice, pressing it to the bruised side of your face so gently it’s like he’s scared of hurting you even more. It certainly helps to ease the pain a little, and seeing you visibly relax at the touch it seems to calm his nerves down as he comes to sit down beside you, talking to you as you take the ice pack from him and keep it pressed to your face.

He seems to remember something as you’re talking and spins around to rummage through one of his drawers, turning back around with a box of plasters in hand a few moments later with a triumphant smile on his face. Soon enough you’ve got plenty of plasters with cute little patterns decorated on them on each and every one of your cuts regardless of how big or small they are. By the time the last one’s carefully placed over a cut around your finger the earlier tension’s definitely eased and you can tell he feels less worried now that you’re taken care of, offering you a warm smile when he looks up from your hand at you.

Toji

Toji’s dealt with more than a few injuries himself before, having to teach himself how to take care of different kinds of wounds over the course of his lifetime. Alongside this however he’s also grown quite adept at assessing how serious someone else's injuries are when he sees them. Perhaps that's how he’s able to notice something’s wrong when you try to sneak back to your room trying to nurse your wounds after getting pretty scuffed up through no real fault of your own. It’s not as though you can really hide them from him though, with a couple bruises, cuts and a generally mussed up appearance it isn’t hard for him to take a guess that you aren’t in your usually injury-free state. When you try to assure him that you’ll be find once you’ve patched yourself up Toji sighs, rubbing his temples, then proceeds to gesture for you to go ahead into your room, and thinking he’s actually letting you off the hook you don't hesitate to slip into your room and leave it there. Only a few minutes later he comes knocking on your door with a bag of what you soon find out is some medical supplies - bandages, plasters, rubbing alcohol and some other supplies you guess is for cleaning wounds. 

Calls you a dumbass the whole time but in a low-key lovingly sort of way. 

Okay but seriously though, if you got hurt due to recklessness expect him to talk your ear off the whole time - he doesn’t care if you think you’re being heroic, because you’re not gonna be a hero for very long if you get more injured than you can handle. You getting hurt is no joke to him, even if the wounds are relatively minor by comparison; even as he says this though he’s surprisingly gentle as he tends to your wounds, not being overly harsh despite the scolding tone of his words. You can tell that deep down he is genuinely concerned about your wellbeing as he patches you up, as when you hiss at the cleansing wipes he runs over your cuts you notice he pauses for a second before continuing.

He’s pretty practiced at this by comparison to the other Summoners, so it really doesn’t take very long until you’re all cleaned up and doing better than you would have been if you’d just stuck it out in your room. But don’t expect to get away without one last drawn out lecture on taking better care of yourself - you’ve only got one body and all it takes is a stray knife or the wrong place for you to get seriously hurt. It’s honestly pretty rich coming from someone who so often delves into the shadows for the sake of succeeding in battle more times than you can count; however, for what it’s worth you can tell he’s giving you this talk because he doesn’t like seeing you getting hurt, and wants to ensure that you aren’t willingly putting yourself into harm’s way - he wants you to stay safe, even if he doesn’t outwardly say tell you that.

Gullinbursti

I mean usually Gull’s the one who ends up getting hurt barging in to take the fall in your stead, so when you end up coming back home covered in scratches and bruises it likely happened when he wasn’t around to intervene. Needless to say, he hates the sight of you injured in any way - he feels as though he’s failed to fulfill his purpose to keep you protected from harm, and you’re honestly surprised to see just how distressed he is by you getting hurt. You get hurt all of the time, with so many close calls to your name you’re sure you’d earn an achievement or two for it - but you guess most of those instances have been while Gull wasn’t around, which explains why he gets so troubled at the sight of you standing before him, cradling a few more bruises than you’re able to cover up when you come face to face with the boar transient.

You have to really convince him that you’ll be fine without going to see anybody like a doctor or school nurse or else Gullinbursti won’t even hesitate to hoist you up into his arms and charge right over to the person who can get you healed up, be it one of the other Summoners or a medical professional. He doesn’t seem entirely convinced when you tell him that you’re fine - you just need to grab a couple things you’d stashed away specifically for these instances and once you’re finished you’ll be right as rain...minus the scratches, of course. Similar to Ryota, he hovers around you whilst you’re cleaning yourself up, looking for an opportunity to aid you in some way, whether that’s going out to retrieve something or holding things for you while you move to grab the next things you need. It’s actually pretty cute seeing him trying to dote on you, watching you clean yourself up and bristling when you grit your teeth as you apply the disinfectant.

In your opinion, you do a pretty bang up job of bandaging yourself up, though as you’re putting the last of the plasters on your palm you feel the back of his hand brush against the side of you, stopping just short of one of the particularly nasty bruises you’ve got blossoming across the skin. When you tilt your head to face him and ask him what’s wrong he wonders aloud if you’re in pain - it makes you pause, because you’d be lying if you said they didn’t feel at least uncomfortable, so instead of answering you lean over and pat his cheek, assuring him that you’re okay and that he doesn’t need to worry in the hopes to reassure him.

Agyo

Agyo absolutely panics when you come through the guildhouse door all busted up and bruised. When did you get hurt?! It couldn’t have been close to the guild, the little lion dog takes guarding the safehouse seriously, so surely he’d have spotted you while he was out making sure everything outside was okay! You’re covered in scratches and bruises when you stumble into the room and greet the fluffy transient, and the poor boy just about faints at the sight of you grinning as you rub at the side of your face where you’re supporting a particularly large bruise, half-heartedly whining about how it stings and how you were so sure you could have dodged the hit. Agyo really wishes someone else was here, someone who has a good enough idea on how to take care of you when you’re hurt; since he’s the only one around at the time he decides to take the situation into his own paws, ushering you further inside the room so that he can get a proper look at just how bad the damage is, getting frustrated when you try to tell him that it’s really not that big of a deal.

He tries to put on a brave face but you can tell that he’s really worried - your injuries are only scrapes and bruises at worst, but you’ve got a hell of a lot of them. Agyo has the least amount of experience with dealing with injuries; he’s gotten hurt before back in Wa No Kuni, and he’s also seen people coming to the shrine sick or injured but it was always his grandpa who took care of those duties while Agyo got things to help. So Agyo plays to his strengths, and remembering some of the things he’d seen used before, brings out the first aid kit for you to use, hoping that whatever’s inside will help in some way. Most of them don’t even need anything to cover, with only a few cuts actually managing to break the skin, but for the sake of easing his nerves you humor him a little and cover as many as you’re able. 

Most of your fingers are covered in plasters by the time you’re done, with them having received the brunt of the damage at the time, and you hold them up for him to see, waggling your fingers as if to show him that you’re all better. It does seem to do the trick, as at the sign of your plaster-covered hands he huffs and plops down to sit beside you, shaking his head as he asks you how you even ended up like this - surely you didn’t run headfirst into trouble, right?...right? When you don’t answer him, instead feigning ignorance and whistling as you look away, the poor lion dog gives you an exasperated look and starts persistently prying for answers, grumbling about losing guardian points when the sight of him getting so riled up makes you laugh a little.