#i can't grammar and my brain doesn't work the way it should

[madmadammagz]

Nothing like writing 5500 words in one and a half weeks to make you feel like you are going crazy

[nattikay]

bedtime

NOTE: stä'noli should be stolä'ni, that was a pretty rudimentary mistake and I'm not really sure what was going on in my brain when I wrote it but 😅 maybe i'll fix it on the image later but i can't be bothered right this minute, i'm already up way later than I should be as is (have an early day tomorrow)

Further language notes/rambling under the cut!

"wait, isn't Jake supposed to be spelled Tsyeyk in Na'vi?" Yes it is! And if I'd given that line to a monolingual Na'vi speaker I would've spelled it that way. BUT Neytiri is bilingual and does not pronounce it "Tsyeyk" (I mean, technically she doesn't say "Jake" either, it's more like "Zheyk" but w/e). So for her specifically I keep the j. I suppose at that point I could've just kept the English spelling completely, but leaving silent letters at the end like that makes things weird in written Na'vi given all the grammatical endings that can be applied (not that that matters in this comic because they weren't needed for the line but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Speaking of Jake, writing Na'vi dialogue for him is fun to me because he's not a native speaker which means I'm free to give him all sorts of beginner habits and/or mistakes, especially given that by his own admission he struggled learning the language. However, since I'm working within a pretty broad time frame, I had to remind myself that he wouldn't be a beginner forever.

I bring this up because there are two aspects of Jake's dialogue here that I was going to point out as...well, not wrong, but as more "English-y" habits I'd headcanoned he might hang on to...but on further reflection changed my mind because I realized that at the time of this comic he's been living with the Omatikaya for nearly ten years and would be pretty much fluent. I still left it written that way but am no longer headcanoning that that's ~just how he talks~ at this point in his life. After all, if I'm conscious of these habits after just two years of studying the language as a casual hobby, is it really believable that he'd be clinging to them after nearly a decade of full daily immersion, even with his self-admitted struggle with language learning? 😅

Anyways, for the sake of rambling about my hobby regardless, one of these aspects was using SVO word order, like English. Na'vi is a free-word-order language, so SVO is valid, but most Na'vi speakers are not going to stick to it exclusively. I think Jake, like many native-English-speaking learners, may have relied on this word order earlier on because that's just how his brain has been wired to process information, but at this point I think just by sheer exposure he'd have broken out of any strict adherence to it, intentional or otherwise.

The other thing is concerning possessive. The standard Na'vi grammatical ending for possessive is -yä. But Na'vi grammar also includes a concept called inalienable possession, which refers to things that are intrinsically yours and cannot be given away. What exactly qualifies as inalienable varies between languages that have such a concept, but with Na'vi it's most commonly seen with body parts. Inalienable possession can be marked with -yä, but there is a slight preference to mark it with the topical, -ri, instead. So, compare:

Peyä mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long. Pori mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long (lit. "concerning him, the legs are long")

Both of these are considered acceptable, but the -ri version is considered just slightly "better" (for lack of a better term).

You'll notice that Jake uses peyä instead of pori here; this was because the peyä structure is a more direct equivalent to the English construction, so it's pretty common for new learners to use it instead of -ri. And again it's not wrong, so it's not exactly a mistake per se. So it seemed like a reasonable "Englishy-but-still-technically-correct" habit for Jake to hang on to. And I do still think that may well have been in the case...in his earlier years 😅

soooo yeah. I will still probably be giving Jake some of those speaking habits in comics and such that take place only 2-3 years after A1, but once you get to around 10 years like this one...yeah I think it'll make more sense to just write his dialogue like that of any other fluent Na'vi-speaking character lol

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Younger Brothers react to: Mc telling them "You look so handsome when you lie to me."

Other parts can be found here: Older Brothers Reaction

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Welcome! to another part of this adventure! The characters may not be how you imagine! I apologize for any poor jokes, bad spelling, and terrible grammar. Without further ado, please enjoy the content. ♡

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Satan's reaction

Satan and Mc were hanging out in HoL's library, Satan was currently engulfed in a book, Mc had been reading, but a particular thought had caused them to stop reading. Mc couldn't stop thinking about the thought, they stare at Satan questioning if they should act on the thought or not. See Mc usually is one step behind Satan when it comes to flirting. Satan is a romantic he's constantly flustering Mc, Mc would like to make Satan flustered at least once! The countless times he's left Mc blushing and stuttering for some come back, its time for Mc's revenge!

Mc gives themself a pep talk and then clears their throat. 'Satan can I ask you a question?' Satan's eyes dart up from the book he'd been reading, as Satan makes eye contact with Mc, Mc can see his emerald eyes glisten under the library lights. Satan's practically beaming with curiosity, but he holds his composure well. Sending Mc a calm comforting smile before responding to their question- "By all means ask away, you've piqued my interest after all." Satan's calm smile is now more of a teasing intrigued grin, he unintentionally scooted to the edge of the seat he's sitting in. Almost looking like a teen girl about to hear about gossip. 'Would you love me more if I was a cat?' Mc knew the answer, of course Satan would, but Mc also knew Satan wouldn't say that to them, he wouldnt want to hurt their feelings. Satan teasing grin flaters and he is silent for a couple of minutes, Mc can practically hear the cogs in his brain turning as he tries to think of a response. "....Of course not.." Satan finally answers, though he sounds like he's lying or unsure. Mc can't help but smile at his answer, Mc's plan was working just as they thought it would.

'You look so handsome when you lie to me Satan.' Mc says with a grin. Satan goes to argue, he wasnt completely lying Mc wouldn't be Mc if they were a cat, but he quickly realized Mc called him handsome. Satan blushes and does his little ´how dare you fluster me` scoff, Mc can tell he is thinking hard of some response. Satan sits there mouth formed in a line as his brain cogs start turning into overdrive. How is Satan supposed to come up with a response to that? The smoothness of Mc's action makes Satan realize they've been planning this for weeks! They thought ahead and knew his answer before he even answered. Satan blushes more as he realizes hes been out done for the day, so he stands up and mutters a quick "..that was a good one..but I'll have a better one next time.." Before he rushes out of the library headed to his room to plot his revenge. Satan enjoyed hearing Mc call him handsome but he enjoys the fun flirting competition the two have going on more.

Asmodeus's Reaction:

Mc and Asmo we're hanging out and doing random things together like always. Asmo decided to snap a few pictures of the two together to put on his Devilgram. Just as anyone does when posting pictures the two go through the pictures taken together to find ones they both can agree to post. The pictures all look great, Mc and Asmo both are looking fantastic, but everyone can be picky sometimes when it comes to what kind of photos of themselves they want online. Asmo has a reputation to uphold as the Devildom's most beautiful demon, and Mc is a human..so human world standards can be life changing.

Asmo and Mc usually can choose a photo or a few photos just fine, but occasionally a small argument breaks out. As they go through the photos Asmo chooses his favorite, but it happens to be a photo that Mc doesn't like the way they look in. Asmo tries to make Mc feel better, reassuring them that they look fine, "..come on hon, you look absolutely stunning." Despite Asmo's best attempt, his compliments do not change Mc's mind, they are dead set on the photo he chose not being the one posted. Asmo being Asmo though he doesn't listen, he looks the best in that photo so he has to post it! Asmo "secretly" begins to edit the photo and prepare it to post on his Devilgram. Mc takes one glance at Asmo trying to hide his D.D.D and instantly knows he's trying to post the photo they said they didn't want posted. Mc sighs and asks, "Asmo are you posting that photo?" Even though they already know the answer. Asmo glances up from his D.D.D and gives Mc an innocent smile. "..I'm not posting any yet..I'm just scrolling on Devilgram." Asmo lies through his teeth, feigning innocence.

Mc shakes their head with a smile and says, 'you look so handsome when you lie to me Asmo.' Asmo's fake innocent smile falters and he blushes a little. Asmo instantly walks over to Mc to give them a hug as he says, "oh I'm sorry hon, but I look the best in that photo! You look amazing too! It's the perfect photo to captivate how amazing we look together!" Asmo says clearly still wanting to post the photo. Mc just sighs and says something like "you look handsome in any photo', unlike Asmo, Mc's compliments seem to do the trick as Asmo slowly begins to choose a different photo, one that Mc is okay with him posting to his Devilgram. It becomes a trick that Mc can use often if they have a photo they don't want him posting, just compliment him until he changes his mind. Bonus points if Mc specifically points out how good he looks in the photo they want posted.

Beelzebub's Reaction:

Mc had been saving a snack for a few days, they even hid it really well in the fridge! They are in their room doing R.A.D homework when they suddenly start feeling hungry, so they go to the kitchen to get their snack. When they get to the kitchen they aren't exactly surprised to find Beel in the kitchen already. Beel has his face stuffed with food as usual but he doesn't greet Mc like he usually would, instead he quickly turns away from Mc and even stuffs the wrapper of whatever he's eating into his mouth, proceeding to eat it as well. He cannonly eats literal plates so don't worry bout him. Mc was able to catch a small glimpse of the wrapper before Beel stuffed it into his mouth, and Mc is almost positive it's the wrapper to the snack they had been saving.

They couldn't really be mad at Beel, he gets hungry man, but they still pretend to be upset. They cross their arms as they stare at Beel suspiciously, '..Beel what're you eating.?' Mc asks, even though they pretty much already know. Beel's face flushes red out of embarrassment and he continues to be turned away from Mc, "...nothing.." Beel says with a mouth full of food, the poor mans is just making his case worse. Mc has to fight off a smile, still trying to pretend to be upset, the give him an even more suspicious and fake stern look, '..you wouldn't happen to be eating my snack would you?' Mc asks knowingly, basically resisting the urge to bust out laughing, they couldn't though, they had to execute their plan. Beel swallows before glancing Mc's way, the crumbs of Mc's snack is still on his face, making it obvious that he's the culprit. "...no...it was something else.." Beel mutters quietly, not even making eye contact anymore, probably the worst liar out of all the brothers.

Mc smiles at him knowingly while saying, 'you look so handsome when you lie to me Beel.' Beel's face immediately flushed a dark shade of red, if he still had the food in his mouth he probably would have choked in Surprise, he enjoys mc calling him handsome, but unlike his brothers he mainly hears Mc calling him out on lying. "...I'm sorry Mc..it just looked so good..I'll buy you a new one.." Beel says apologetically, looking at the ground like a puppy who got caught in the trash by its owner. Mc just laughs and shakes their head while saying, 'its okay Beel I'm just teasing, how about we both go out and get a new one together?' Beel seems to like that suggestion as he smiles widely and mutters something about "food is always better when eating with you, Mc." So, the two head out to get a snack, they end up with lots of snacks because Beel got hungry on the walk to the store, but both Mc and Beel had a good time together.

Belphegor's Reaction:

A new movie has come out in the Devildom, Mc is super excited to watch it, and Mc specifically said they are excited to watch it with Belphie. Belphie isn't particularly fond of the type of movie it is, but he wants to make Mc happy and sees it as an opportunity to rest his head in Mc's lap and nap. The two get set up in Mc's room to watch the movie together, they have snack, blankets, all the necessities for a good movie night together. Belphie even promised Mc that he would stay up and watch the entire movie with Mc. The movie starts and Belphie stays awake for awhile, barely even watching the movie, just being up soc wouldn't be upset. However as the movie gets to the half way mark it becomes increasingly hard for the Avatar of Sloth to stay awake. The movie was honestly a little boring and Mc's lap was just so comfortable! Belphie tries his hardest to stay up, he promised Mc after all, but as the movie continues to drone on he decides it might not be that bad to just rest his eyes a little. Belphie figures Mc will be paying too much attention and won't even notice so he could nap for a few minutes and then get back up without Mc even knowing.

He was wrong though, as soon as he closes his eyes Mc notices. 'I thought you were going to stay up and watch the whole movie with me?' Mc asks confusedly, Belphie had promised and all. Belphie gives a half-assed response, not even opening his eyes, "I am staying up, I'm just resting my eyes not sleeping" Belphie mumbles, you can hear the tiredness in his voice. Mc sighs and allows him to lay there for a bit "resting his eyes" while they continue watching the movie. After a few minutes Mc glances back down at Belphie resting in their lap, Mc figures Belphie is probably asleep so they quietly ask, 'are you sleeping yet?' Belphie grumbles in response, pushing closer to Mc's body and not opening his eyes, "no. I'm not even close to falling asleep" Belphie says, though he's completely lying, you can tell by the sound of his voice that he's about to fall asleep at any second.

Mc laughs softly at the sloth demon's determination to pretend to not be falling asleep, Mc smiles down at the half asleep demon and says, 'you look so handsome when you lie to me Belphie' Belphie was about to fall asleep until he heard Mc's statement, he shoots up staring at them with hazy tired but wide eyes, his face instantly starts to heat up due to being flustered by Mc's statement. Belphie embarrassed and flustered grumbles in response, "I wasn't lying. I wasn't even going to fall asleep." Belphie was still lying, he didn't want to admit he was sleeping and be teased or flustered by Mc even more. Belphie changes his position instead of laying on Mc's lap he sits next to him and rests his head on their shoulder, but for the rest of the movie he is up and actually watching the movie. Belphie would never admit it to Mc but that was one of the first times something's ever woken him up that fast and made him feel that energetic, he was able to stay up for awhile afterwards in all honesty. So even though Belphie won't tell Mc he likes hearing them call him handsome, Mc should definitely do it again.

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Thats all for now babes! Hope you enjoyed!! ♡ This is not proofread. Feel free to comment or reblog any thoughts or any add ons you have! Sorry this part took so long to post, I had writers block for Asmo's part. Anyways more contents coming soon so Stay Tuned! Stay Safe! & Stay Groovy Scooby!

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⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[yunjardi]

my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]

[young sugar daddy jake x fem.reader au]

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[click here for this series's masterlist to read previous chapters, general warnings, and playlist]

[‼️chapter warnings‼️: smut [mdni], fluff, DADDY KINK, jake is a little possessive (???), going on a flight, public-ish sex, teasing, spanking, fingering, grinding, handjob, dirty talk, unprotected sex, mile high club 👀, lmk if i missed anything!]

*sorry for any grammar errors

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-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

chapter 13: love phobia

"but you love me because i'm an idiot, right?"

your mind has been racing ever since jake uttered those words.

your stomach filled with butterflies from simply hearing him say the word 'love,' so what more if he told you that he loves you or vice versa? you didn't even fully know if you loved him for real or if he was just so kind, which you weren't used to, that you just think you love him.

love is not a word to use lightly, so you use it sparsely or not at all.

now that you had graduated university, you had way more time alone with your thoughts. the only thing standing between you being completely alone with your thought was your job at the bar which you were now wary of. you would quit your job because of those horrible incidents but if jake ever left and cut you off financially, you would barely have enough money to keep yourself afloat. those tips and your regular salary could only get you so far.

speaking of work, you should be focusing on serving drinks at your first night shift in awhile, but you can't seem to get your head straight, thoughts of jake floating in your brain with seemingly no end.

"earth to y/n," yeji said in a ghostly voice, snapping you back into reality, "your next round of guests are here." she laughed as she looked at your dazed expression.

you quickly got your shit together, unbuttoned your shirt lower to appeal to the guests, and went over to serve them.

"good evening, everyone," you greeted them whilst pulling out your notepad and pen to write down what drinks they wanted to order, "would you like to know our weekly specials or-" your voice stopped itself once you looked up at the group you were serving.

you didn't pay any mind to them until you locked eyes with the one and only sunghoon.

but it wasn't over yet.

sitting next to him was none other than mr. choi yeonjun.

at this point, you were sick of your worlds colliding with one another.

you tried to keep things casual and act like you didn't know them, but sunghoon just had to say something.

"oh hey, y/n," he greeted you with a smirk, his sharp fangs showing through, "you never struck me as the type of girl to work in a bar." you smiled sheepishly and simply nodded, trying so desperately to eliminate the awkwardness. "ah, i'm sure this place keeps you busy, doesn't it?" yeonjun chimed in with a smirk painted on his face, "you should call me whenever you have free time, though." he so casually flirted with you. the rest of the table didn't seem to pay any mind to you and sunghoon though you wished someone, anyone else, would just say something.

"so, um," you started with a painfully awkward chuckle, "is everyone ready?" you asked to which the rest of the table, thankfully, nodded. you took their orders as fast as you possibly could before practically dashing off to your side of the bar to begin mixing drinks. unfortunately, sunghoon and yeonjun both decided to follow you over to the bar like two puppies following behind their owner.

"i haven't seen you in awhile," sunghoon sighed out sarcastically as he rested his chin on his palm, "we should catch up." yeonjun nodded as if you didn't just see him a few weeks ago.

"that's probably not a good idea," you sheepishly laughed as you turned around to pour liquor into your drink shaker, "isn't it a little awkward after what happened? isn't jake literally one of your best friends?" you tried to keep your voice low. "oh yeah, of course he is," sunghoon said casually, "he kept calm around you, but he definitely didn't take the fact that we fucked lightly. he's so adamant about no other guy touching you or whatever. we made up, of course, but it's still a sensitive topic; he'll quite literally leave a room if it's ever brought up. but man, i've never seen that guy be so serious about anything." he shrugged. you were fully appalled at how he so easily talked about the situation.

"i had no idea that you were this kind of girl, y/n," yeonjun pointed out to which you cocked your head in confusion at his statement, still shaking and pouring drinks, "the type of girl who likes to have multiple guys, you know?" your eyes widened. "ah, it's not like that, i promise," you smiled weakly followed by a sigh, "just a coincidence, maybe?" 

"in case you aren't aware, literally every guy who's seen you and jake's little videos wants a taste of you," yeonjun remarked as he took a sip of the drink he ordered. "and rightfully so," sunghoon added under his breath, recalling his time with you at the sex club. 'pervs,' you internally rolled your eyes and scowled as you finally finished making the last of the drinks. 

"i'm not sure you realize how popular you are amongst men," yeonjun said breathily.

yeah, you didn't know and you didn't want to know either. you didn't log onto social media that often, but that messy situation led you to not open it for months; you weren't ready, or ever will be, to hear what the public thinks about you and your relation to jake.

you didn't even exactly understand what all the fuss was about; it was just a few dirty videos, so why were people making such a big deal over something you're trying to forget. like come on, it felt like that situation happened ages ago. 

after mixing the last of the drinks for sunghoon and yeonjun's table, you went over to serve the others who accompanied them and left the situation as soon as you possibly could. 

that's when you remembered that jake was supposed to pick you up after your shift ended, and he, of course, always arrived earlier than he should whenever he'd pick you up.

shit, shit, shit.

you hoped and prayed that he wouldn't think there was something going on with sunghoon and yeonjun if they were still at the bar by the time he showed up, which they likely would be. in your frantic state, you were able to spot yeji across the bar to which you dashed in your direction. she was quick to notice how frantic you were as you walked toward her, putting down the drink tray she was holding to check on you.

"hey, yeji," you started with a sheepish smile, "we have a bit of a situation." her eyes widened. "which is?" she questioned with curiosity. "potential drama alert," you whispered to her, "sunghoon and yeonjun just so happened to be part of my assigned table. do you mind covering from me so that jake doesn't think there's anthing suspicious going down whenever he gets here? i'll go check up on them once last time before i hand them over to you if that's cool with you?" you looked around the room as discreetly as you could just in case. "of course, y/n," she agreed, shaking your shoulder playfully, "the last thing you need in your life is more drama." you let out a sigh of relief as you began to approach the table one last time before officially clocking out.

"is everything okay over here? anything else i can get you tonight?" you asked, hoping with your entire being that they'd say no.

"well..." yeonjun let his voice drift off as he pretended to think, "another cocktail would be nice if you don't mind." you gave him a sheepish smile followed by a nod. 'actually, i do mind,' you thought to yourself, annoyed. "sounds good," you lied, "i'll have that out for you asap." you tried to walk away alone, but of course both yeonjun and sunghoon wanted to come and join you.

you pulled your drink shaker out from behind the counter and began to pour alcohol and ice into it, trying to mix as quickly as you could. "actually," sunghoon started, "i'd like one too." at this point, they were both just teasing you. now you had double the work all because sunghoon wanted to be a difficult piece of shit.

you were fully aware that you probably looked goofy by the way you were trying to quickly mix two cocktails basically simultaneously, but you stopped caring after remembering why you were rushing in the first place. you just let sunghoon and yeonjun keep staring at you do whatever you were doing, but you were soon sent into a panic once you saw jake enter the bar.

'please don't come any closer, please don't come any closer,' you repeated to yourself in your mind, but alas, your begging to the universe was not successful. you could see jake getting closer and closer from the corner of your eye, but you decided to avoid eye-contact until he reached your bartending counter.

"oh," you heard jake start speaking, "i didn't expect to see you here, sunghoon." it was obvious that he was trying his best to keep his composure. "oh, hey, bro," sunghoon reached out to do a weird handshake thing with jake, "i didn't expect to see you here either. here for a drink?" sunghoon questioned. "actually, i'm here to take y/n home whenever her shift ends," jake seemed to brag as he sat on one of the barstools nonchalantly, trying not to seem bothered, "just let me know when you're ready to go, princess." he emphasized the nickname he had for you. "actually," you started as you wiped down the counter one last time, "i'm ready now." sunghoon and yeonjun seemed surprised at your answer considering that you were technically their hostess and they hadn't finished yet.

"don't worry, you two," you tried to seem as reassuring as possibly, "yeji will take care of you for the rest of your time here." you flashed them a forced smile as you untied your short waist apron and headed over to the break room with jake.

once you got inside the break room, you walked over to the labeled hooks on the wall and hung up your apron, but before you could turn around, you heard the door lock.

"jake?" you asked, watching his hand leave the doorhandle. "mhm?" he responded, "something wrong, princess?" he questioned as he approached you. "n-no," you stuttered out, "just wondering why you locked the door is all." jake looked down at you and smirked before beginning to speak again.

"any particular reason those two were making eyes at you while you were mixing drinks at your station?" jake questioned as he cupped one of your cheeks with his big hand. your face grew hot at the tone of voice he used. was he jealous again? "of course not," you responded shyly, "they just happened to be at the table i was serving at and they decided to follow me to my station. nothing going on, i promise, jakey." he stepped closer to you. "hmm," he pretended to think as he let his hands wander your body, "i don't like how flirty they were being toward my princess. you weren't thinking of doing something behind daddy's back, were you?" jake asked amorously with a hint of sarcasm. "n-no!" you shook your head frantically, "n-never." jake smirked at your answer, slowly backing you into the back of the break room's couch. without warning, he lifted one of your legs so that your knee was resting on the back of the couch. slowly, he began running his hands up and down your inner thighs, ever so slightly swiping your entrance with one finger which made you let out a quiet yelp.

"please touch me," you begged him as you looked up at him with your pretty eyes. "what do you mean, princess? i already am," jake responded with sarcasm as he continued to tease you gently, "how do you want daddy to touch you?" you turned your face away from him, not wanting him to see how bashful you were getting simply because of his words, but that was soon reversed when jake took it upon himself to tilt your chin back over so that you were looking at him again.

"tell me, princess," jake repeated, his tone more firm than before, "you know daddy always gives you exactly what you want."

not wanting to verbally respond because you felt too shy, you let your hand trail down his thigh, feeling around until you could feel his hard through his jeans. jake's body grew goosebumps from your soft caresses. he kept on rubbing his big hand on your ass and letting his knuckles brush past your clothed entrance until he worked up enough courage to spank you, earning another yelp from you. 

"daddy, please?" you begged again, "w-want your fingers." jake let out a sexy chuckle as he continued to rub circles on your ass and thighs, eventually pulling your panties to the side to feel how wet you'd gotten for him. "so wet for me already," jake smirked, his accent turning you on further, "do you like when i scold you for letting other men be all over you, hm? do you like making daddy jealous?" jake asked you as he left hard spanks on your ass, making you whimper in pleasure. "n-no," you responded in a squeak, "n-no, i promise."

jake let his hands wander more, eventually cupping one of your tits as he slickly slipped one of his fingers into your dripping wet pussy. you let out a breathy moan at the sensation of him fingering you while playing with your breast. you let out a moan to which jake moved his hand from your breast to your mouth, covering it up. "shh, princess," jake whispered in your ear, "you have to be quieter; no one can hear us in here, right?" you nodded as jake removed his palm from your mouth, gently telling you to hush once more before continuing to finger you again.

"jake," you breathed out as you reached out to grab his wrist, "i need you... please?" you begged him as he let out a light sigh of pleasure at your submissiveness. "i could never say no to you," jake kissed your neck, "but we have to make it quick, okay? and i need you to be as quiet as possible, yeah?" you whimpered and nodded.

you let jake bend you over the arm of the couch, his arm holding you steady as he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down. the clanking of his expensive designer belt buckle always turned you on further because that noise always meant that he was gonna let you have it until you couldn't remember your name.

"keep quiet, okay, princess?" jake hushed once more before pumping his cock a few times before slowly letting his tip enter your tight entrance. he hissed at the feeling, placing one of his hands on top of yours once bottoming out.

at this point, you were trying to control your moans with ever ounce of your being, but you couldn't help but let a few escape your lips to which jake tilted your head to the side so he could swallow every sound that you let leave your lips. it didn't help that jake was beginning to speed up so you two could finish faster in fear that someone would start knocking.

'no one knock, please,' jake thought to himself as he fucked your tight hole, almost at his high.

"daddy, slow down," you mewled almost silently, "i c-can't control it." the 'it' being your moans. there was something different about being pounded from behind by jake that sent your body into a frenzy. jake tilted your head up to his and gave you a kiss on the lips as he slowed down his pace, not wanting you to get too overwhelmed.

your request may have seemed simple enough, but not many guys would have been respectful enough to fulfill your request, opting to make excuses as a way to manipulate you into agreeing to their ideas/ideologies. jake was not that type of guy, though, making sure that he catered to your every desire whether sexually or generally.

"is that better, baby?" he asked after kissing your lips to which you nodded, still trying to keep your noises to a minimum. after your response, jake continued to fuck you steadily. pumping his cock into your tight pussy at a gentler pace turned him on further, getting to feel every little bit of you.

"fuck, i'm close," jake let out a breathy groan, "where do you want it?" a stupid question for him to ask considering the fact that he always finishes inside you. "i-inside," you mewled as you pushed your ass back at him, causing him to hiss at the feeling. jake wanted so badly to spank your pretty ass, but he knew that it would make you moan out loud so he had to control himself.

it became increasingly hard by the millisecond for you to stop yourself from moaning and crying out for jake as he continued to fuck you at a steady pace. you couldn't help the tiny, breathy moans that subconsciously escaped your lips as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. "jake," you mewled ever so quietly, "n-need to cum." jake bent himself down to kiss your neck, whispering in your ear for you to let loose for him before he let his seed leak into you. obeying, you came for jake, your body twitching and quivering from the extent of how much you were controlling yourself.

once jake was certain that he emptied all his seed inside of you, he helped you get cleaned up with some tissues that were stored on a shelf.

"you did so good for me, princess," jake praised you as he assisted you in straightening out your outfit. your face turned warm as jake flashed a smile at you.

"now don't think you have to go around and make me jealous just to get me to fuck you like that again," jake let out a light chuckle as he tightened his belt. "i wasn't trying to make you jealous, jakey," you pouted as you held into the sleeve of his shirt, shaking it around playfully, "i would never do it on purpose."

"i believe you, y/n," jake reassured you with a sweet tone, "but regardless, i don't like when other men touch my princess in ways that only i should be touching her." jake seemed to go quiet for a second, worried that he sounded overly possessive over you, but he just let the words fall out of his mouth without thinking beforehand.

was he implying that he wanted you all to himself?

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as another day came, it meant another day to think about how you feel about jake, another day to think about how jake makes you feel, and another day to ponder if jake was telling you the truth or just trying to get you to swoon over him with his sweet-talk. (which was working like a charm)

you wished that you could stop thinking about jake for just for one measly second, but your mind always had other plans.

you kept letting thoughts circulate in your mind as your fingers toyed with the fabric of the short silk nightdress you were dressed in that, of course, jake bought for you.

he was literally everywhere with you though not being physically present.

the clothes you wore? jake bought them.

the diamonds that lay cold on the skin of your neck and wrists? jake bought them.

the several pairs of shoes that you'd never thought you'd own in a million years? jake bought them.

the vintage accessories from all your favorite brands? jake bought them.

all the money.

all the spoiling.

everything.

everything was because of him.

jake reeled you in with his charm and his money, but why did it feel like something more than just a sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship? maybe you were just delusional and blinded by his actions to think straight.

after all, your life had been molded into a fantasy because of him practically over night; something that some could only dream of. you felt like you were living every girl's dream life while barely having to life a finger.

you went from working 12 hour shifts at the bar to barely be able to afford paying for school and your home to being affiliated with one of the richest men in the country.

all because of sex in exchange for a diamond necklace.

some would call you pathetic and a gold-digger, which you often felt like in all honesty, but you knew in your heart that this was something more.

or at least it felt like it was something more.

but in all honesty, you didn't want to feel anymore; you wanted to truly know. you wanted so badly to find inner peace in regards to anything that was related to jake whether it was him admitting that he (allegedly) wants to be more than friends, or, if that isn't the case and he's just been stringing you along all this time, basically leaving everything behind if you wanted even the slightest chance of forgetting about him.

you want jake, but you also feel like you don't or maybe shouldn't.

bzzz...

bzzz...

bzzz...

your ears perked up at the sound of your phone vibrating as you scrambled to find where it was on your bed.

once you found it, you didn't even bother to check who was calling before pressing the green button.

"hello?" you asked once answering the phone, "sorry it to me awhile to pick up." you chuckled sheepishly. "don't worry, princess. i'm just glad you answered," the person responded to which you realized the familiar accented voice.

ah, jake. who else could it have been?

"oh, hi, jake," you smiled as if he could see your giddy expression, "did you need something?" you asked, curious as to why he decided to call you because it's rare that he does so; he usually just shows up to your front door. "hmm," jake's voice trailed off, "i was wondering if i could come see my favorite girl today, maybe pick her up and take her to my house, go out to town with her, possibly have her spend the night?" he rambled on and on. each time he made a statement, you felt yourself blushing more and more until your cheeks became the equivalent of a ripe strawberry.

hearing jake say the phrase 'my favorite girl' made your stomach erupt with butterflies. he made you feel so special, so pampered, so... loved?

wanting to seem as if you weren't trying viciously to control yourself from giggling into your pillow, you slickly responded to him with a flirty tone.

"hmm... maybe drive over to her house and find out."

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the sound of knocking on your door came to the front of your mind after a few seconds of being distracted by fixing your hair. you sped over to the front door from the bathroom to open it up, a bit eager to see jake. you were greeted by jake's smiley face as he held out some luxurious roses that he'd bought for you.

"aww, puppy," you gushed with adoration as you melted into a puddle of bashfulness, making jake blush in return, "so sweet." jake pulled you closer upon placing the bundle of roses onto the counter next to perry's bowl.

"i missed you," jake pouted before pulling you into a kiss, his soft, plump lips sending a swarm of butterflies into your whole body. "jake, we saw each other two days ago." you pointed out with a light chuckle after breaking away from the kiss. "well," he started, "i always miss you when you're not around."

you felt your stomach do a flip upon hearing jake tell you that information. of course, you felt the same way, but you definitely weren't going to voice it because you didn't think you'd physically be able to.

"you don't have to miss me anymore," you smiled against his chest, "we get to spend the whole day together." jake let out one of his excited giggles as he trailed his hands down to your lower back in a somehow non-sexual way; it felt more comforting than sexual if anything.

"well, i have some news before we start our day together," jake announced, his hand trailing up to your chin to tilt it upward, giving you no choice but to look at his pretty face as you nodded for him to continue, "i'm going to japan for a business conference, and-"

"wait, when? when are you leaving? how long are you gonna be there? ... when are you coming back?" your mouth spilled out questions because of unexpected worry, causing you to interrupt jake before he could even finish his statement.

"hey, hey, don't worry, princess. you didn't let me finish," jake reassured you with a pretty smile, "i was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me, silly."

your eyes lit up and widened at the thought of going on a trip with jake. him asking you to come to japan with him felt like a dream in itself.

without any hesitation, you responded with "i'd love to!" to which jake gave you a toothy grin as he held you close, his heart feeling just as eager as yours at the thought of going on your first trip together. he took a second to ponder everything that he wanted to do with you in japan.

going out for walks at night when the city is all lit up, trying out a new restaurant, going to a cute little animal café, shopping (of course), and, most importantly, getting to watch the beautiful cherry blossoms together which is something he's always wanted to do with you.

jake could barely hide his excitement before making you throw on an outfit, that matched his, of course, and dragging you out to buy new clothes for the trip.

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"i think this one is perfect, yeah?" you let out a content sigh, smiling as you spun around for jake to see the pretty garment from all angles. "it's hard for me to give an opinion considering that i think you look beautiful in everything," jake chuckled shyly as he adored you, "besides, you can choose any and all the clothes you want; no limits. so i'm sure we'll find a bunch more things that look perfect on you even after we buy this one."

you always loved going out shopping with jake, not just because you could literally buy everything you laid your eyes on, but also because jake always made you blush with his sweet compliments that never failed to give you a bit of self confidence.

the shopping trip was far from over, and let's just say that you two were about be the best-dressed people in japan for the duration of your stay.

after purchasing the garment, you two moved from store to store all throughout the shopping center until you felt content with all the pretty clothes and accessories jake bought for you. he even took it upon himself to get a few pieces of clothing for himself that coordinated with the outfits you chose. along with everything else the two of you bought that day, jake decided that the last touch should be something matching, so he took you into a dior store and let you pick out a pretty diamond choker then finding one for himself that looked similar to the one you chose.

going on shopping sprees with jake never failed to astound you; it seemed that the final price at the end of the day got higher and higher after every individual shopping session that you two have gone on. were you getting used to it? yes. do you still have underlying guilt for spending that much money? absolutely.

after spending what felt like, and probably was, millions of dollars, there was one more stop that jake wanted to make before going back home.

he led you into a fancy, luxury lingerie store that made you gulp nervously, not knowing what he had up his sleeve. jake was very mischievous when it came to stuff like this, so you wouldn't be surprised if he had some dirty intentions.

jake approached the counter as he waved at the employee who was working behind it. you watched as she blushed over jake once he began to talk to her, making you feel a bit of discomfort at the way jake seemed to talk to her with such finesse. her building flirtatiousness took over your mind, causing you to subconsciously pull jake closer to you. jake immediately noticed your nonverbal action and knew exactly what was bothering you, after all, you two spent a majority of your time together so of course he eventually began to pick up on your body language.

"anyway," jake smiled, "i'm here to pick up and order that i placed a few days ago." the employee seemed to be caught off guard by jake's sudden change in demeanor but still proceeded to ask him for his order details although she had zero time to process why his tone switched so suddenly. she turned around to check the shelf with neatly placed boxes that were tied off with gold, shimmery ribbons to look for the box that was labeled with his name.

"is it this one?" she asked, undoing the bowtie to reveal the contents of the, very extravagantly decorated, box. your eyes widened upon seeing the garments, them specifically being custom lingerie sets. you couldn't control the way your face was beginning to turn bright pink upon laying your eyes on the pretty panties that had 'jake,' 'daddy's girl,' and 'princess.' embroidered on the fabric in shimmery pink thread. you thought it was over, but nope, there was another layer of tissue paper covering more of the box's contents. jake gently moved the tissue paper to the side only to reveal more risqué garments.

pink lace lingerie, thigh garters, sheer bralettes, more custom embroidered panties decorated with cute, tiny bows, basically everything that he wanted to see you in.

jake is such a horndog for buying all this stuff for you, but you couldn't lie and say it wasn't making your stomach jump at the thought of what was going through jake's mind when he was ordering everything.

"yup this is the one," jake smiled innocently as if he didn't do anything cheeky.

once the employee turned the box to face her so that she could tie the ribbon back up, her face immediately turned bright red at the sight of what was inside the box. she scrambled to knot the ribbon and quickly pushed the box back toward jake. you couldn't tell if the look on her face was one of jealousy, flustered-ness, or both.

"you are such a dirty boy," you scolded jake with a light smack on his bicep as he giggled, "i can't believe you actually bought all that." jake couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face as he looked down at you, your face still pink from being flustered. "i can't tell if you're pleasantly surprised or surprised in a shocked sense," he chuckled as he held you close to him while the two of you walked back to his car. "a bit of both," you laughed in response.

"oh, the things you drive me do, y/n... you have no idea."

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you, stupidly, decided to pack for your trip to japan last minute which caused you to scramble around to make sure you had everything you needed before jake came to pick you up.

honestly, it was a lot easier to pack since you had way more clothes and outfits that jake curated for you; digging through your wardrobe for decent clothes to wear on vacation was now a thing of the past. you were done packing before you expected to be, so you had a bit of downtime before jake would arrive.

just before you pulled your phone out of your pocket, you felt it vibrate.

you let out a light chuckle after your little text conversation with yeji ended, but you couldn't help but begin to think about those cheesy things even though they were far from your reality. you wondered if that's how you and jake looked like from an outside perspective.

a couple.

just as you were about to get lost in your thoughts again, the doorbell rang. 'thank god,' you thought to yourself as you ran to answer the door. you opened up the door, surprised to see that jake had suddenly changed his hair color again.

"woah, since when were you blond again?" you chuckled as you pulled jake closer to you, hugging him and letting his cologne blind your senses. "since earlier this morning," jake responded with a sheepish smile, "just wanted to change things up again. d-do you like it?" he asked with a nervous tone to which you giggled. "i love it," you reassured him as you played with strands of his freshly dyed hair, "as much as i love your natural hair, i've missed the blond; it makes you look like a cute fuzzy puppy." jake's ears began to turn pink at your sweet compliment which made you giggle and give him another tight hug.

"we should get going now," jake pointed out as he glanced at his expensive cartier watch, "lemme get your bags for you." you let out a hum in response, a smile subconsciously growing on your face due to jake's gentlemanly gesture. the fact that this was how he genuinely acted without request always made your heart beat a bit quicker than usual.

he's sweet.

jake is so sweet.

getting into the car, jake began to head over to the airport. your stomach couldn't help but feel funny due to a bit of flight anxiety.

odd for you considering you've never been on a plane before.

"i'm kinda nervous," you voiced with a light chuckle, "i've never..." jake looked over to you with wide eyes, shocked at the new piece of y/n lore. "so... it's your first time?" jake joked cheekily, earning a light smack on the arm from you as became red in the face. "yes, it's "my first time," jake," you bickered back jokingly.

"i promise you'll be okay, princess," jake reassured you with a kiss on the cheek while you two waited at a traffic light, "i'll be there the whole time."

--------------------------------------------------------

once you pulled into the private parking lot of the (rich people) part of the airport, you were unpleasantly surprised by a decent-sized swarm of reporters with cameras. you looked over at jake with a bit of a concerned expression on your face.

"oh, that," jake smiled nervously, putting one of his hands on the nape of his neck, "whenever one of the company's heirs goes on a business related trip without the head of the company, it's seen as a huge deal. oh and also-"

knock, knock, knock.

jake was interrupted by knocks on the window, startling both you and him. looking over, you saw the face of the man who you'd rather not be seeing at the moment.

sunghoon.

excited, jake opened his door, hopping out of the car to greet one of his best friends. it made you feel rather uneasy to witness them interact; not because you didn't like or sunghoon or anything like that, but because you wondered how things could be so chill between them even though you unknowingly fucked jake's best friend.

were you the only one who couldn't get over it? the only one who still felt gut-wrenching guilt?

jake peeked his head into the car, smiling at you nervously before telling you the not-so-great news that you, him, and his friends would all be flying in the private plane together.

you felt your stomach drop, knowing that you'd be stuck in a floating metal tube with his friends for roughly two hours. and on top of that, it's your first time flying. you just shook everything off, remembering that jake was kind enough to let you tag along. that's all that matters, right?

once you were done freaking out, you opened the car door to step out. you so badly wanted to avoid the paparazzi, not ready for the press to be writing about you and jake again, and it'll probably be worse this time around considering that you're with him alongside his friends. 'stay calm,' you scolded yourself as you walked over to help jake unload the luggages from the trunk of his car.

"don't worry, i got it, princess," jake smiled warmly after tucking some of your hair behind your ear and leaning in for a peck on the cheek. it made you nervous to be kissed by jake with so many cameras around. you hoped and prayed that they didn't get a shot of it because of obvious reasons. people who worked for the private flight company began to load the plane with everyone's bags as you, jake, jay and heeseung (jake's two friends that you'd met previously) and of course sunghoon started to head over to the plane's entrance.

jake held your hand while leading you over to go up the ladder to get into the plane, continuing to hold your hand with every step up you took. you could practically feel the cameras all over you and jake, but he didn't seem to mind for some reason.

and as if the situation couldn't get any more shocking, you were pleasantly greeted by the interior of the private aircraft.

private seating if you wanted to be alone, group seating if you wanted to mingle with the other people who you're on the flight with, and two little closed off cabin rooms which was crazy because you didn't think that was a real thing.

"go ahead and sit wherever you want, princess," jake told you, letting you pick out where you wanted to spend the duration of your plane journey. "can we maybe," you looked down, becoming bashful, "use one of the rooms." you shyly suggested to which jake couldn't help smirk. "whatever my princess wants, she gets," jake remarked, giving you a passionate kiss on the lips, "go ahead and wait in there for me, okay?" you looked into his pretty eyes and nodded, opening the door to reveal a comfy looking bed, overhead storage, and a little window. closing the door behind you, you went to go sit on the bed.

"is this actually my life now?" you asked yourself quietly as you looked around at your surroundings. you still weren't used to it despite all the time you've spent with jake. more often than not, you were wondering how you, a, now graduated, broke college student working at a bar, managed to end up in this situation. you were thankful, yes, but it still left you feeling overwhelmed by everything that came along with living this type of lifestyle. midway through getting lost in your thoughts, you heard the door handle twist, being greeted by jake's pretty face.

"we'll be taking off now, okay?" jake informed you as he walked over to the bed and pulled you close, "i'll be here if you're nervous." you nodded, cuddling up to him while fearing the fact that you were about to be so high in the sky. simply hearing the plane engine start was enough to freak you out. jake felt you tense up as the plane began to take flight.

"hey, hey," jake comforted you, "focus on me, okay? you'll be alright." you nodded though you grew shy from looking at his pretty face. jake chuckled, pulling you on top of his lap and holding your face in his hands. "that's right, my pretty girl."

instinctively, you pushed your hips onto his, prompting jake to bring his hands to your waist. "needy?" jake asked, "in this situation?" he teased. "i-i didn't mean to," you sputtered out nervously to which jake shut you up with a passionate kiss. "well, do you want to?" jake asked curiously as he ran his hands all of your body, eventually trailing them down to your ass. "mhm," you responded, "please?" jake kissed your neck as you continued to grind on his clothed member. you don't know when or how, but your clothes were now discarded to the side, your lips on jakes as you stroked his length with your hand. you loved the groans and light whimpers that jake let out as you pleased him with your hands, and you were eager to let him use your body.

when he felt like the time was right, jake lifted you up and sat you down on his length, causing you to moan out as you held onto his shoulders. "so warm and wet for me," jake spoke lowly in your ear, sending shivers down your whole body. "just for y-you," your voice quivered as you roughly moved your hips on his, wanting to feel him deep inside you. "mhm, all for daddy," jake smirked while squeezing your pretty ass, "no one else but me." you nodded with a whimper in response.

jake pushed your hips further down onto his, wanting his tip to perfectly hit your little sweet spot. you whined as your thighs trembled, already feeling overstimulated from his length. you found yourself glancing to the side at the small window to which jake placed his hand on your chin to face back at him. "focus on me, baby," jake said softly, giving you a peck on the lips and rolling his hips against yours. you gasped and moaned out at the sudden waves of pleasure traveling from your inner thighs to your core.

"turn around," jake demanded after lifting you off of him to which you, of course, complied. you pushed your hips toward him as you arched your back eagerly, begging him to fuck you more. "that's a good girl," jake smirked, teasing your entrance with his swollen tip before fully pushing himself inside. "s-so good," you stuttered out in between moans and whines, "w-want your cum so bad."

jake bent forward to lift you up, your back now against his chest as he thrusted upward into you. you tightly gripped onto one of his forearms while he kissed your neck, your pussy aching. "mmh," you moaned out, "feels so good, daddy." jake groaned for you as he caressed your inner thighs, causing you to shiver. "i know, princess," jake chuckled sexily, "fuck, it feels so good to be deep inside you. it's your first time flying and all you can think about is being stuffed with my cock, huh?" you nodded and whimpered in response. "m-mhm," you managed to sputter out between moans, "always want you s-so bad."

it wasn't long until jake finally let loose, ropes of his hot cum painting your walls white.

putting you down, he gave you some time to catch your breath before giving you a few kisses.

"you're so cute," jake said out of nowhere. "where did that come from?" you questioned with a chuckle as your cheeks turned pink. "just wanted to point it out," he shrugged with a smile, "now go ahead and rest for the remainder of the flight, princess."

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once the flight landed, you were forced to wake up from your nap which you weren't very happy about. upon getting off the plane and into the car that would take you and the others to the fancy airbnb, jake decided to keep you separated from his pestery friends because he knew that they'd only make you grumpier.

you spent the duration of the car ride with your head on jake's shoulder, trying not to fall asleep yet again and wanting to enjoy the view of the sunset over the city. unfortunately, you ended up drifting off to sleep again which jake found cute after watching how desperately you tried to keep your eyes opened. upon arriving to the place you would be staying at for the duration of the trip, jake, still keeping you a good distance away from his friends, brought you into one of the rooms so you could lay down and rest. he assisted you in getting changed into one of his shirts before you laid down on the cloud-like bed.

"you're so cute when you're sleepy," jake gushed as you wrapped yourself in the duvet, "i'll be right outside in the lounge area with the guys; we're gonna catch up a bit before we go to sleep. i'll be here later, okay?" you nodded sleepily in response, grabbing him closer by his hoodie sleeve so that he could give you one last kiss before leaving the room.

your drowsiness was really getting the best of you, causing you to expose your vulnerability and yearning for jake and his presence. you felt queasy at the thought of jake possibly thinking that you were being too needy. you also felt an odd sense of uneasiness from all the intimate moments that you and jake shared throughout the whole day because it felt almost wrong to be so intimate with someone who isn't even your boyfriend. jake isn't your boyfriend, but why do you feel so comfortable giving yourself to him? you began to feel somewhat guilty about your natural instincts when it came to being around him, but you couldn't seem find it in you to stop. why did it all feel so natural?

your thoughts were brought to a halt when you felt jake touch you.

"oh, and one more thing," jake added, "i need you to hold something for me until i get back in here." confused, you cocked your head to the side, squishing your face deeper into the pillow.

jake motioned for you to hold out your hand, and once you did, he gave you a kiss on your palm, rolled your hand into a fist, and let you move your hand back toward yourself.

you couldn't control the way your stomach flipped and the amount of blood rushing to your cheeks as jake flashed his cute smile.

"and you can give that kiss to me later when i come back."

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you found yourself in a haze and half awake after what you presumed was a few hours. jake still wasn't in bed with you, but you could hear him chatting with his friends just outside your room which put you at ease. as much as you tried not to, you ended up eavesdropping on their conversation and were shocked to hear that you were the topic of discussion.

"poor y/n," one of his friends joked as he took a sip of alcohol, "jake really dragged her all the way out here because he can't survive 5 minutes without her." his friends laughed in response as jake's face turned red.

"hey!" he sulked, "i-it's not that." he responded shyly, taking a small sip of his drink.

"then what is it, hm?" another one of his friends questioned with a smirk plastered on his face.

"well, i-i just thought it'd be fun to go on a trip, y'know? s-she's never been here before, so i wanna show her around, right?" jake sputtered out, the mild interrogation being enough to make him sober from the alcohol him and his friends had been drinking, "i already have some things planned out; i just wanna show her a good time."

"a different kind of good time for once," one of the guys joked again, "c'mon, man, we all heard the two of you earlier." hearing one of his friends admit that made him get shy again as they all continued to tease him. "hey, we gotta give jake some credit," another friend chimed in, "he knows what he's doing if you know what i mean. not every guy can make a girl moan like that-"

"okay," jake said with panicked chuckle, stretching out the last syllable of the word he spoke, "i think it's time we all got some rest. after all, it's getting a little late, right?" his friends laughed at his bashfulness but agreed that they really should get some rest. "wait, don't turn off the lights yet," jake said holding out one of his hands, "i need to get a glass of water to put on y/n's bedside table." one of his buddies let out a light sigh followed by a wholesome chuckle. "how do you manage to remember all these little things about her?"

"well," jake's voice trailed off as he poured a glass of cold water for you,

"she's my everything."

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a/n: chapter 13 is finally here after literal months! thank you all for being so patient with me throughout these past few months :,) it means a lot that you've stuck around with me 🩷 now that school and exams are over and it's officially summer break, i'll have an abundance of free time to write for you all! pls look forward to more updates from me 🩷

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[if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi]

POLARIS

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi, or Makisig (the Tamawo bros). Full Credit goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz. Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto.

A/N: This one is the sequel to Rough around the Edges. The last chapter (Rough Around the Edges - Final Part) may seem rushed- honestly, it is. Not in a way that I wanted to finish it at that, but my ADHD brain sometimes gets sudden bursts of ideas that I need to quickly get into my drafts, however, my fingers are too slow to type everything. Those I didn't get to type is somehow forgotten or changed into something else, thus explains the inconsistencies in pace, typos, wrong grammar, and other imperfections in my writing. (No, I am not sad or apologetic about it. I have a lot to improve and I have all the time in the world :D ) Still, I am thankful for everyone who takes time to read the products of my mind. I love writing about Maliksi btw, I think his character is complex and simple in itself and I am absolutely smitten with him. <3 Love HC and everything they do, as well as my fellow Planet Puto fans and enjoyers.

((AND NO, I AM NOT HURTING YOUR HEARTS THIS TIMEEE))

"Hey old hag, slow down or do you wanna get your second hip replacement right away?" Maliksi grumbled as he helped Amor's granddaughter, Maricela sit into a chair at the patio. She and Maliksi became friends- sharing their adoration for Amor.

Maricela has been old now and being in her 70's wasn't that enjoyable for her. She recently got hip replacement surgery and her grandchildren will be coming home from the city next week to take care of her.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure Lola Amor loved not getting this old. That woman died pretty." Maricela softly chuckled. "Thank you for visiting, Maliksi."

Maliksi scoffed. "Yeah, yeah. Can't have you tumbling around your backyard again before Amor scolds me on my dreams."

"Lola visits you on your dreams? Wait, you guys sleep?"

"If you were any younger I would've smacked you on your head by now. Ofcourse we sleep! We're not vampires! And no, she doesn't visit my dreams, that snobby little lady not even showing herself to me...even once."

"Not like you visited her when she was still alive!" Maricela burst out laughing.

"To my defense, I absolutely have no idea how time works outside Biringan. I didn't bother finding out before losing her." Maliksi softly answered.

"Atleast you're learning now. How's your Kuya Makisig? Still busy with his tamawo duties?"

"Yeah, as always."

"If you both didn't tell me everything about tamawos or explained how you guys' relationship with the humans work, I would've stayed there. I was crushing hard on your Kuya when I was younger." Maricela giggled.

"Well, you're a widow now want me to get Kuya to-"

Maricela, even being that old was still strong enough to playfully bonk Maliksi on his head. "Oh shush! Have some respect to your elders, how can you pimp me like I'm some kind of sugar baby wannabe."

Maliksi clutched his stomach from laughing too hard. "C'mon. I'm technically older than you by a lot!"

"You have a point. You should visit here next week. My grandchildren will be throwing a little party since this is the first time they'll be going home here in the province in a very long time. We'll have a lot of sweets and kakanin for sure."

"Next week huh? Seven human days, sure...I'll set that in my calendar so I won't miss it."

Maricela's laughter filled the air as her younger grandchildren pushed her wheelchair around the yard. Most of Maricela's family stayed at the city and rarely visited the province. The kids are absolutely enjoying it, having a chance to play in the sun and have fun on an open yard for the first time.

Maliksi quietly watched as he picks up a plate, ignoring the other savory dishes and going straight to the dessert section. The family members just thought of Maliksi as anak ng kapitbahay who looks after their Lola Maricela whenever he's free so he is treated warmly, oftentimes greeted by everyone who passes by his table.

Maliksi was spooning some lecheflan right out from the llanera when a shy boy approached his table and placed a platter of kutsinta right infront of him.

"My ate told me to give this to you." The boy shyly said before running away to join his cousins.

He tilted his head, eyes scanning the plate of steamed rice cake in front of him.

Amor still makes the best one.

Kutsinta is still his favorite, no doubt about that, yet he couldn't get himself to eat it after learning about Amor's passing, knowing nothing can top her kutsinta- it's the best he's ever tried even after being alive for centuries afterall.

Maliksi looked around, knowing that the kakanin might be prepared by one of Maricela's relatives, or worse, by one of her grandkids. Not wanting to be rude towards the one who made it, Maliksi slowly picked up a piece, inching it closer to his mouth before taking a bite.

His eyes widen as he quickly stood up from his seat, Maricela and her family were surprised at his suddenness, all eyes staring at him in bewilderment.

"Is everything okay, ijo?" one of the aunties asked Maliksi.

He quickly realized his actions, clearing his throat to gain composure and sitting back down calmly. "I- Sorry, it's just..the kutsinta is...good. Who made it?"

"Oh, must be Y/n. Lola Maricela's granddaughter who just graduated college. She loved cooking."

Maliksi heard a soft chuckle from behind him. He slowly turned around to see who it's coming from.

"Tastes like the best kutsinta ever, huh?" You stood infront of him, giving him a smug smile.

"You look like a kutsinta type of guy so I asked my lil bro to give you some. You like it?"

Maliksi stood frozen in place, his mind wandering to places. It is indeed the best kutsinta. Hell, it tastes like Amor's. He cannot forget that taste even after so many years.

The nostalgia brought by that single bite alone is enough to take him back to that time when Amor would make kutsinta and place it somewhere he'll find since he's too prideful before to accept anything from humans. He won't be able to resist it and just tell himself that Amor didn't give it to him- he 'sneakily' stole it from the human girl and enjoyed every last bits of it.

"I might not remember him, but my heart and soul will know him once we meet again."

"You...made this?"

You nodded. "Yeah, aside from the kutsinta itself, the secret actually lies on-"

"On the yema that is spread lightly on the top of the kutsinta before it's sprinkled with grated coconut." Maliksi finished your sentence which made you chuckle a little bit.

"How did you know that? Not everyone does that."

"A...friend of mine made it like that." Maliksi softly answered.

[indignantlemur]

I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners writing a long fanfic?

Thank you.

Hello! I actually do have some advice, though of course I must stress that what works for me is not necessarily what will work for others.

I'll break this down into two categories - general and specific.

🖊️GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

🌟FIRST: Find a process that works for you to stay on track.

Some people find making a diagram or a mind-map of ideas and plotlines helps them stay on track. Some people make a bullet-point list of what they need to accomplish in each chapter. Some don't even bother making a list at all, and write on the fly.

Personally, I've found that making an outline helps me immensely. I can flesh out the outlined points as I need to, throwing in possible bits of dialogue or descriptions that come to me when I think about a scene I've planned, and I can move each plot point around as needed. Not only does this keep me organized, but if I need to take a break from writing, I'm not left floundering when I come back to it. I can pick up the threads right away, because I know exactly how and where I left them and what they're meant to tie into. I keep all of my plot notes on a separate document that I can switch over to (or keep open on a second screen, or even just open on my phone, really) and I reference it constantly.

I do this for shorter stories as well as longer ones, and the key to make this approach work is understanding that the plot points and tidbits I have prepared are guidelines. Only the bare bones are set in stone, and even then I give myself as much flexibility as possible. Sometimes, the scene develops in such a way that I can't include the dialogue or descriptions I'd hoped to because now it doesn't make sense - and that's fine. I save the defunct bits, cut and paste it to a junk drawer document where I put all my missing and cut scenes, and see if I can reuse them in the future. No writing is a wasted effort.

🌟SECOND: Get a second pair of eyes on your work.

Find a beta-reader, or a very good friend who isn't afraid to tell you when something needs work. Ideally, both. Beta-readers are worth their weight in gold twice over (I love you @emilie786!) and will help you with the grammar and the flow of the scene, often catching mistakes you miss. Some beta-readers only want to proof-read, and some want to be more involved in your writing process - clear communication about goals and expectations is key!

Likewise, a writer-friend who's willing to look at your work while it's still rough and give you feedback on it (becoming your alpha audience, as it were) is an amazingly helpful person. They can help you by suggesting different takes on a scene, or alternate phrasing when your writing feels a bit awkward in places, or even workaround for plot problems and any difficulties you run into. I frequently chat with @the-lady-general about our different writing projects, and it's been immensely helpful for both of us.

🌟THIRD: Be prepared to kill your darlings.

So, you've written a thing. You worked hard on it, poured your heart and soul into it, and you love it to pieces. Of course you do! Only... your beta-reader had torn a scene or a character to shreds, however kindly, and now you have to cope with rewriting it.

A kneejerk response a lot of new writers have to this is to get defensive and upset - I've been guilty of this myself, in the distant past when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I'll tell you now what someone should have told me then: sometimes, a person has to be cruel to be kind. A beta-reader or a friend telling you a scene needs work is a gift compared to your story being panned by negative reviews after the fact, especially if you are the sort to put a lot of emotional value on your reviews (as many of us do).

When this happens, because it inevitably will, listen.

Step back, take a day or two to reset your brain if you need to, and then review what your beta-reader told you. Look at it objectively, without emotion. If you cannot, bring in a friend or mentor who can help you do so. Go over what's been said, the chief complaints and concerns, and open up a new document. Copy the scene. Paste it over. Rewrite the scene in the new document, taking all of the advice given to you into account. Once you're done, take a break. Make a cup of tea. Grab a snack. Go for a walk, even. When you're done, come back and read both the original and rewritten scenes.

You may very well find that your writing has benefited from the exercise, if nothing else, but I suspect you will find you like the rewrite a little better.

🌟FOURTH: Writing tutorials and guides are goldmines.

If you're struggling with writing a scene, or even if you just think it doesn't flow the way you want, look at what other writers who can write these scenes suggest. I struggle with action scenes, personally, and I've been referencing a lot of guides for Hoarfrost (which is still in the works but getting closer to completion!) to shore up those weak points in my writing.

Heck, I spent a literal week reading nothing but smut guides and writing tutorials, learning everything from phrasing to atmosphere-building, before I felt brave enough to try writing TSKW, never mind actually posting chapter 44 of Emigre. My ads haven't been the same since. The VPN did nothing.

Of course, a thesaurus is a valuable tool as a writer, but learning how to stitch your words together to create a scene is more than just knowing twelve different synonyms for the word "said." To that end, I would say that there is absolutely nothing shameful about taking inspiration from other writers and published authors, or from guides and tutorials. So long as you're not copying another's work or borrowing their ideas without permission, of course.

And, finally,

🌟FIFTH: Don't be afraid of writing badly.

I started writing when I was 8 - silly, nonsensical things with no particular plot or plan. Charming, but terrible. I got into fanfiction at 12, and the stuff I wrote was beyond cringe-inducing. Mary Sues, flat descriptions with no life to them, using too much emotion or too little, unrealistic reactions and irrational decisions from every character unfortunate enough to be involved - you name it, I wrote it.

All of this is a perfectly normal part of writing, even if I'd rather walk into the sea with a canon ball lovingly bundled in my arms rather than let any of it see the light of day ever again.

Through these horrible, absolutely godawful first steps into the world of writing, I grew. I got negative reviews, and supportive ones. I took breaks and tried again later. I wrote and rewrote. I erased entire documents and started from scratch more times than I can count (which I kind of regret, hence my advice to make a junk drawer document). I spent weeks, months, even years using my maladaptive daydreaming to hone scenes, refine characterizations, and tweak plot ideas. I have stories and worlds in my head that have been percolating for a literal decade or more, and they still don't feel ready to put onto paper yet - but if I don't start despite that, they never will be.

So don't be afraid of writing badly, and certainly don't let that fear stop you from writing at all. After all, churning out a rough, unrefined first draft is the first and most important step to learning how to write well.

✒️SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

The first, best piece of specific advice I ever got when starting out was this:

🌟Describe the scene as if you were describing it to a blind person.

(I always took this advice to mean someone who had recently lost their sight, rather than someone who would have no shared frame of reference for visual descriptions, but you're quite welcome to interpret it differently.)

The colours and shapes we readily think of when it comes to describing a scene are important, but what about texture? Scent? Taste? Scent in particular is hugely important to people because it's directly linked to our memories, but sound and touch are also very important for setting a scene. By excluding those details, you are robbing the audience of layers of immersion.

Think about the sights and scents and sounds around you as you go about your day. How would you describe them? The smell of coffee from across the room - is it earthy, bitter, burnt? Is Karen from accounting eating fish tacos again, despite multiple complaints, and now the cloying, oily aroma of microwaved fish has saturated the entire office? What about the warmth of sunlight streaming through a nearby window against your arm, the way the light catches on the hard edges of the furniture and the highlights in a woman's hair. What about the sound of your shoes against the floor as you walk, the click of heels and the shuffle and squeak of sneakers? Think about how you would describe what you're wearing, beyond bare facts. The softness of the fabric, the sturdiness of the construction, the weight of the material - how would you put them into words?

Spend time actively paying attention to the world around you, to conversations and scenery and people, and ask yourself: how would I write this?

The second piece of advice may seem contradictory, given the first, but it's worth hearing anyway:

🌟Sometimes less is more.

Descriptions and explanations are an important part of story-telling, enhancing the scene and building the world around it, but there's a time and a place. We don't need to know every single descriptive detail about the main character in the first paragraph, or even the first chapter. We don't need to know the entire history of the new alien species the moment we meet them, or even for years after the first encounter. We don't need to wade through ten pages describing how strange and bizarre the alien trees are, nor do we need three different descriptions of the shape of each leaf on every branch.

Learn to space out your expositions and descriptions. Treat them like sprinkles - they look better when they're spread out over the whole cake, rather than clumped in one spot.

My third bit of general advice is this:

🌟Don't rush it.

It's really, really tempting to rush towards that one amazing scene you have planned out in your head - the one with the big emotional impact, the plot twist, the big scene - but don't! Hold off! We, the readers, don't know about all the details that lead up to that scene. We don't know about the layers of meaning and all the build up that leads to that great pay-off. Without that, we simply won't get it. We won't understand what you're trying to convey, or why it's such a big deal.

Take the time to build up the story, to show us how your characters learn and adapt and grow with each challenge. That journey is important. It might feel tedious, like a slog you have to get through to get from Point A to Point B, but we need it! We need those scenes, those moments, in order to stand where you want us to stand when the big scene begins, to know what we need to know and feel what you want us to feel as we watch it happen.

And finally, my fourth and final bit of specific advice:

🌟Wish fulfillment is fun, but realism is what draws us in.

We have all made Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and every possible permutation of them, even if we never quite put pen to paper with them. Many folks who get into writing start by imagining a character who serves as a kind of wish fulfillment or power fantasy put into writing. It's perfectly normal - but the thing to remember is that those characters are a bit... bland. They don't struggle. They don't fail. They don't lose. Or if they do, it's not in a meaningful way. That kind of character is so divorced from reality that it breaks the readers' suspension of disbelief.

Everyone alive has a combination of talents and failings, weaknesses and strengths, insecurities and weird quirks. That's part of the Human experience. A perfect, flawless character defies that experience, and thus we cannot relate to them. The character becomes flat and uninspiring to the audience, and once that happens all that remains is apathy. When there are no stakes, there is no investment. Why should we care about a character who will never fail against even the most overwhelming odds? We already know the ending, because the character cannot lose.

So I urge you to really look at your characters. Some folks recommend taking "Mary Sue Litmus Tests" and such to get a rough idea of how your characters might be received, and those are certainly useful tools - but they are not the only tools at your disposal. Read constantly. Watch films and documentaries alike. Try out new show and book genres, even the ones you don't think you'll like. Really look at the people around you, at how they act versus what they do, and how their unique combination of personality traits and flaws coalesce into a perfectly ordinary person. Inspiration is literally everywhere around you, if you look for it.

Now, everyone creates characters differently. Some folks start with an idea, or a core concept, and build the character around that. Others make characters more procedurally (wherein those "20+ questions about your OC" posts are actually quite useful), and some even use generators to slap a bunch of traits together to see what sticks. Some characters seem to spring fully formed from the ground one day, and others can take years of tinkering to really come into being.

Look for inspiration everywhere, and you'll eventually find a way that works best for your writing.

...I know, I know. You asked for advice and I wrote you a book. If you've made it this far, kudos. Writing can be a lot of work, but never let it be anything other than a labor of love.

[writing-havoc]

Hello! I wanted to request, if you write for Nikolai, a scenario where the female reader has a moment of romantic tension with Nikolai. Although it can be anything that doesn't have distress.

Project

♡ Summary: You bump into Nikolai on the way to the library, he accompanies you

♡ Fandom: Shadow and Bone, Grishaverse

♡ Pairing: Nikolai Lanstov x Fem!Reader

♡ Warning(s): None

♡ WC: 2.1k

Hello! I absolutely do take requests for Nikola

My apologies for taking so long to get to this request </3. I wanted to read King of Scars and Rule of Wolves to try and get a better understanding of his character. Reading takes me a while. It takes a minute actually start a new book and then I became swamped with homework but!! I got it done

Hope you enjoy and that it is to your liking <3

Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

David needed to be more careful about his notes.

It's not that he was careless, per se, he took good care to make sure they weren't in any immediate danger.

But man are his scribbles hard to read.

There are parts where you can clearly tell he was looking elsewhere rather than at the notebook while he was writing, the words slanting or bunching together or becoming a really long line that he wrote over. And there are parts that one might assume were penned by an upper-class woman.

At this point it's its own language, one that you can't add to your growing list quite yet. Genya, though, is fluent.

Too bad she isn't present at the moment.

David sat across from you. Well, not really sat. More like he got stuck between standing and sitting over a stool as he made calculations on a spare piece of paper, rapidly looking between diagrams and another book of his notes. He mumbled every once in a while, which made Genya smile. Genya was actually sitting, rambling about something that you weren't quite sure the topic of, your presence only acknowledged when she needed you to confirm something and when she first appeared to say hi.

You know it's not meant with malice though. You loved seeing them together. The look David got when Genya suggested something, his brain doing the calculations and seeing that it worked, made it easier to feel like there was hope somewhere.

Somewhere blond, preferably.

"David, can I take your notes to the Little Palace?" You asked, hoping you spoke loud enough to get past the haze he was working himself into. "I just need to cross reference something in the library and i'm not gonna be able to remember this chicken scratch."

"A chicken has not been near my notes ever." He said, eyebrows creasing. "No, you can't. I need them here for this."

You sighed, fixing your posture from where you were leaned over. 'Careful what you wish for', you supposed. "Alright, I'll be back with probably about fifty books in tow."

"There's a book cart just outside the library!" Genya called to you, a smile on her face. "Put them on there and they shouldn't be hard to wheel back!"

"I'll keep that in mind." You replied, voice monotone.

The way back was filled with attempts at trying to not forget what exactly you needed. You thought of various keywords in the notes and the project itself.

It was relatively simple. Just making improvements on Ravkas airships and implementing them in the most optimal and cost effective way possible.

You'll probably need various books actually. The whole "fifty books" joke didn't seem funny anymore. Off the top of your head there was a rather recent one about aerodynamics. One of the Squallers around here should be able to give a bit of insight about it as well. There may be a way to make the airships lighter, but that would be sacrificing strength and safety for the people on the aircraft.

Maybe you could use the idea of the bulletproof kefta and apply that to the hull. At least to the more critical parts. Though that would require a horrible amount of fabric and would just be awkward. They'd have to withstand ground artillery, which is exponentially more powerful than a bullet.

But you could always scrap the fabric and make a different material semi bulletproof.

Inside the walls, you bumped headfirst into a surprisingly stiff figure. You grabbed onto them tight and righted your legs, their arms gripping you as well.

"My apologies-" you looked up, coming face to face with the King "-moi tsar."

He smirked. "Don't fall for me quite yet. I haven't properly courted you. And I know ive told you many a time that you may call me Nikolai, if you so please. It feels awkward among friends to be referred to in such a formal manner."

You sighed, a smile tugging on your lips, disentangling yourself from his limbs. "If you insist, Nikolai."

He grinned, something wide and reaching the corners of his eyes. "Oh, I definitely do."

Nikolai let you go, only moving half a step out of reach. He smelled vaguely of petrichor and more strongly of smoke. But it wasn't choking, rather welcomed. It took you back quite a few years, sitting with your parents next to a great bon fire, smiles on your faces and stories exchanged.

"You seemed terribly distracted just before we engaged in such a lovely embrace." He prodded.

You sighed once more. "Yes. I was attempting to gather a list of books in my head for the reinforcing. It kept getting longer and longer as I thought about it."

"Quite the load, I take it?"

"Unfortunately so. I can think of two others as I stand here." You rubbed your hands over your eyes, dreading the task of reading them. They ached already.

"Ill lend a helping arm. Or two, considering the grave look on your face."

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips, a deep breath filling your lungs with more smoke. A thousand thoughts were playing in your mind, and then a flit of sudden embarrassment overcame your skin.

"My apologies, Nikolai." You took your hands away from your eyes, looking up and finding his trained on you. They looked greener today. "I don't mean to say the work is too much, or too hard, really, I don't. Im just complaining-"

"Allow me to stop you there to say, it's alright. It's to my understanding that you didn't get enough sleep last night?" Nikolai began walking, a slow pace meant to nudge you along, and you followed immediately.

"I..." You wondered how he knew that, and then realized you had complained to Tamar earlier this morning. Your heart fluttered. "No, I didn't. A cold breeze kept coming in through to my chambers. Drove me crazy trying to find where it was coming from."

He made a noise in understanding. "I take it you found it?"

"I did," your shoulder bumped into his arm, "not until I realized the moon had nearly run its course through the sky."

"Happens to the best of us, unfortunately."

Nikolai opened the door to the library, holding it open for you. You grabbed your kefta and playfully curtsied. "Why, thank you."

"My pleasure." It caught you off guard how sincere he was. Still, you smiled, walking through the door and immediately scanning the aisles and aisles of books.

"What are we looking for?" Nikolai asked.

You turned to face him, his eyes doing just that same as yours before. "Nikolai, I cannot ask that of you-"

"Oh but you didn't ask me anything. I'm volunteering my services. You should be grateful, you know. It's not everyday that someone gets to order a king around."

You rolled your eyes, waiting a moment, two, for him to back out. And when he didn't, you swallowed a confession and began to rattle off the list of books you accumulated and the ideas you had with them.

Nikolai went a few rows down, apparently knowing exactly what book you would need about various ways wind behaves given the shape of an object. You wanted to get advice straight from a Squaller, but apparently almost all of them where spread throughout Ravka and those that remained seemed to be highly busy elsewhere, and you would like answers sooner rather than later.

Most the other books you needed were more rudimentary than anything. Little things to refresh your memory. The math was going to be the hardest part.

Some were for inspiration. They broached a similar topic and held actual experiments and diagrams about how they worked. Hopefully they would give you an idea or two.

You reached on your tip toes, fingers just barely grazing the underneath of the last book you needed. The books were tightly packed, which you could feel but didn't know the extent of as you looked down, your muscles stretching to get just a few more millimeters.

When it was finally teetering on the edge, you gave one last tug and looked up. However, you barely had time to realize that three other books were coming down along side it.

You braced for impact, ready to feel the stabbing pain of book corners jabbing into your skull and the nape of your neck. You felt a different presence over you.

The feeling of cloth, warmth and a Kings coat barely felt through your kefta but ever present.

Quickly you turned, seeing Nikolai standing with his arms crossed over your head, a book perfectly balanced there.

"Ow." He said, moving a hand and grabbing the book. He looked at the cover and gave a short chortle, showing the cover. "I believe this, is what you were looking for?"

But your mind couldn't catch up. That smell of smoke filled your nose, the undertone of petrichor back in full swing and paper to boot. The library was silent, a faint chattering heard from outside the door as people passed.

Nikolais hazel eyes stared at you, definutely more green given the palette of his outfit and the browns of the books. The longer you looked the wider the centers became, flickering in size when he looked from your eyes and down your nose, over your cheek, to the corners of your mouth and over your lips, back to your eyes. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, trying to leap out and into the hand that held that damned book.

He knew what he was doing, letting you see it all. Nikolai is a king, master of pretending. His jacket stuttered in and out, heart beating so hard you could just barely see it pick up beneath his coat. This was genuine.

You reached out to the book, fingers touching his warm ones. Without breaking eye contact, you muttered a small "thank you", and watched as his eyes creased.

"My pleasure." He leaned forward, bunting his forehead into yours for a mere moment before leaning back.

"Is your shoulder okay?" You asked, watching him roll it.

He stood still. "I've faced worse. I'll be alright."

He surveyed the area around him, the three books you didn't need scattered on the floor while another two were dropped at his feet. You could feel the four you grabbed resting against your foot where you nearly stepped on them.

"Left quite a mess, haven't we?" You said, tapping the book to your chest. Your heart was still pounding, and you didn't even want to imagine how hot your face felt. Nikolais own was back down to its usual light tan, but his eyes were still like saucers in the center, his breath a slight stutter in his coat. Just barely there.

"Just a little." He leaned down and grabbed two, walking forward and pausing in front of you again. You moved out of the way, leaning down and grabbing the last of the ones that fell.

You handed it to him for him to put back. He allowed his hand to brush yours. You both snickered at the childish flirting, leaning down to pick up the plethora of books you acquired.

Nikolai took two of your books without a word, leaving you with only three in your hands.

"Are you sure you don't have anywhere to be?"

"You're actually quite lucky. I was on my way to Kirigans when you greeted me with that little hug of yours."

You knew it was a lie. But if he was willing to miss whatever it was he was intending on going to to make a detour to Lazlayon, then it couldn't have been that important.

"If you're sure."

"My dear y/n." He just couldn't stop smiling. "I can be sure of anything, if you would will it so."

And isnt that the perfect way to stop your heart? You rolled your eyes. "Such a romantic, you are."

"I hear a challenge."

"Oh saints please no."

You dread to see the lengths he would go to prove just how romantic he could be. But for now, you'll accept this.

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

Proper noun: Ceetee Pronouns: It/Its* Common nouns: Girlthing, Tranny, Doll Adjectives: Trans, Mixed-Race, Aegosexual, Polyamorous, Plural Verbs: Game Design, Shitposting, Flirting

🖋 Last edited: 5/20/24

Unreasonably proud of that stupid grammar joke. Anyway yes, I'm Ceetee. While I am plural, I try to avoid the use of first person plural pronouns, except when we are specifically talking about our experiences with DID/Plurality. We also do our best to conceal who is fronting at all times (you can read more about that in the links about gender and plurality at the bottom of this post).

I'm a dork with very VERY strong opinions that I am VERY VERY vocal about. If you do not share those opinions, that is perfectly fine and probably to be expected. Just know that I am very obnoxious about them, so you will see them a lot. I have a lot of confidence on my stances and it is very unearned! That said I'm always happy to actually discuss this stuff, and also perfectly understanding of people unfollowing over it! Never feel like you HAVE to follow me for whatever obligation. Curate your feed, damn it!

For the pronoun exceptions mentioned above, It/Its are my pronouns for most people. If you aren't willing to call me that, well, I can't stop you. Use whatever you want, but I will absolutely be judging you for it. Though there are some exceptions. For people I'm intimate with (Romantic partners and people I'm in a QPR with), my pronouns are It/She. If you work for my HRT clinic my pronouns are She/Her because like fuck am I risking my HRT just because my doctor doesn't understand my gender. If you are a coworker my pronouns are He/Him and also I don't have a tumblr, please block me immediately, for both of our sakes.

I have a NSFW sideblog. You can probably guess its name pretty easily. If you can't, I'm happy to give it to anyone brave enough to DM me or send me an ask off anon. In fact, you can ask me basically anything about my life and I'll happily answer. I'm a pretty open book like that.

Rambles

I tend to ramble about various things. Usually when I do, I tag it as #text essay. Sometimes about gender and my views on it, but also just... stuff in general. Here is a list of some of the general stuff. Its usually just stupid pointless stuff, but its a good look into how my brain works.

The Darkspore Rant (Long)

Pokemon Picross Monetization Model

Movement in VR

Time is Fake as Hell

Fighters Should Have Magic

Where I Stand in Regards to AI Art

Identity stuff:

Bespoke Genders (Part 1)

On Detransition (Part 2)

Plurality (Part 2.5)

Plurality and Being Transgender (Part 3)

Fandom shit:

Pokemon Eggs, and the Fundamental Nature of the Pokemon Multiverse (Long)

List of FFXIV OCs (LONG. Its also a recap of 4 years of weekly FC RP)

Posts others have made but are very relevant to me and who I am:

Back When I Was A Boy (Not every trans femme used to be a boy, but I did and that is important to me)

The Scorpion and The Frog (I desperately need to get a tattoo of a scorpion and a frog. I can't read this without crying)

Tags

#text essay - As mentioned above, I use this for when my rambles go very very very long. The ones I like the most or feel are important enough I also add to this pinned.

#Zenos ♥ - For the FFXIV Character that I am super normal about (lying).

#dnd hate train - A tag that exists for blacklisting purposes at the request of a close friend. As a designer, I fucking HATE Dungeons and Dragons. I hate it a lot. And I talk a lot about how much I hate it.

#laugh rule - For that age old tumblr rule: "If it makes you actually genuinely Laugh Out Loud, you have to reblog it."

#peer reviewed tags - another, more modern tumblr rule. If I screenshot someones tags to share them, I add this tag to it.

#dudes rock - Essentially, just a bunch of guys doing stuff that is just 'boys being boys' in the fun sense and not the rapey sense, but also just a reminder that the world is better with these dudes in it, and a way for me to find happiness is the masculinity that made my childhood miserable.

#partner gushing - For when I am being GAY AS HELL about my partners, or reblogging something and going 'its because of one of them'

#talking to myself and #talking about myself - Conversations between me and my alters, and talking about my relationships with my alters, respectively. More details here.

I also just... ramble in the tags. A lot. I just add so much commentary in the tags. You will see A LOT of rambles.

[ellieellieoxenfree]

🍄 ❄️ 🧩

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

hghhhhhhh i should save all my juicy chenai ones for fics. but since most of them involve pre-canon timelines, i'll go with one of my old standbys for my favorite ships: food. i think ai di developed a really fucked-up relationship with food in prison -- not only a bland, tasteless utility rather than something eaten for pleasure, but also something he associates with danger due to the communal nature of mealtime. i think he spent all that time eating just enough to be able to stay alert, but forcing himself to get through it as quickly as possible so he could fully focus on protecting zong yi and watching for threats. and conversely, i think chen yi picked up a lot of cooking skills while ai di was inside, and he goes out of his way, especially in the early days, to make ai di's favorite dishes and try to help him work through all of the issues he clearly has but isn't talking about. as much as he would fight it, ai di wants to be cared for (on an extremely repressed level), and i'm a huge proponent of food as an act of love.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

this is mean and you know it. :( i so so so so SO desperately crave that thematically rich, narratively probing character work for my kiseki boys. there's so much to pick apart and so many approaches you could take -- so many pieces of their pasts to fill in; so many missing scenes or scenes that would benefit from extra depth -- and i don't want to write it myself because i'm slow, my brain is bad, and also, i know exactly what i would write and so the element of surprise isn't there. unfortunately, i'm an exacting and demanding bitch so even if someone did write this dream fic, i would probably still find a reason to kvetch. i am permanently trapped in the 'i don't want to write it but no one is going to write exactly the fic i want to see unless i write it myself' hell and it is 100% a self-created problem. every day i'm self-owning.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

i'm VERY picky about authorial voice, and that goes for fic and published work alike. i have been known to drop books within a few paragraphs if the voice grates on me. (this is @ tim o'brien when i made it four paragraphs into america fantastica this morning and deleted it.) i see very stilted writing in fandom spaces that speaks to a certain level of insecurity and lack of practice, and i just can't do it. writing doesn't necessarily need to flow in a mellow fashion -- a choppy, staccato rhythm can be brutally effective -- but you can absolutely tell when someone has an underdeveloped authorial voice or is trying too hard to cultivate one they're not entirely comfortable with.

(in terms of developed authorial voice that i just cannot do, the two that immediately spring to mind are very smug, self-satisfied cleverness (people who grew up as teeaboos or who are constantly mimicking pterry or douglas adams) and extremely flowery language. get to the fucking point already!!)

i also will immediately tune out of something with bad grammar, especially inconsistent tense changes or dialogue that isn't punctuated correctly, OOC behavior (extremely vague umbrella term here, let's be real, but much like pornography, i'll know it when i see it), and repetitive word choice. i have closed out of fics for using 'the other man' or 'the blond' or 'murmured' so many times within a chapter that if i took up a drinking game while reading, i'd be dead of liver failure within 500 words.

i'm a huge snob and i never read anything, basically ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nobodysdaydreams]

If Cutter and his little girlfriend are going to space, does that mean they're gonna get their hands chopped off too? (Also it looks like Duck Boy might be going for a redemption arc! Go Duck Boy Go!)

(or my reaction to Episode 47 and mini Episode 14 of Wolf359)

Welcome back dear readers! I managed to get another episode in as I pack for my vacation. Please enjoy!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Episode 47: Into the Depths

I love Hera's narration, and I love the thought experiment. It reminds me of split brain patients. (For those who don't know what a split brain patient is, or haven't taken a psych class, if we were to surgically cut your corpus collosum (the part of the brain the connects your hemispheres), your consciousness would split and there would basically be two of you sharing one body (but same memories, personality, intelligence, etc.). This is only done if there are life-threatening seizures in the area and removing it is the only way to stop them, but it's an interesting thought experiment because if there are suddenly two of you, what happened to the one?)

And... now Doug is freaking out. I guess the slaps aren't working.

"You will understand Hera." Shut it Whiskey Boy! This also makes me wonder how many "Hera's" we've seen.

Kepler: "I have no idea what's going on Doug, but I just can't stop being ominous. I swear I don't know what's happening, this is just how I talk at all times."

Conan and Clippy? 😂 The names Lovelace gives them.

Yes. Kepler was rude Lovelace. He had so much Whisky and did he share it? No. No he didn't. Selfish.

Ah it seems even you weren't in the loop Jacobi. Perhaps you might fancy a mutiny now?

She doesn't know she's a clone? That's cruel. Think of Jacobi! He died thinking he was the real Duck boy! That's an awful way to go. No one should die believing they're someone so cringe.

Warm up act? Kepler, shut up. And what other clones have shown up over the years? Cutter? Pryce?

Good question. What about Jacobi? Was HE going to die too?

Kepler: "Start listening to me. The only person who knows what's happening." You're just blackmailing them Kepler, you're not good for much other than threatening people and swirling around your Whisky.

Weapon designed to appeal to humanity? But...how do you know she's a weapon? And how do you know she can't fight it even if she is? Maybe Lovelace is stronger than the evil aliens! If they even are evil.

TELL HIM HERA! TELL HIM!

Jacobi: "What could motivate me?"

Me: *Holds up a duck*

Ah blue part of the star. 💙💫 That does seem to be important. Scary, but important.

"Jacobi, any thoughts?" When does he have any?

His hands are shaking? Oh yeah, your friend died, you killed someone, and your boss who lies to people (GASP) LIED TO YOU TOO! Oh if only SOMEBODY could have seen this coming. Really, anybody with ears and a brain.

Oh right. The other Jacobi. This entire time he hasn't been sure? AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT FEAR FEELS LIKE? It's a NEW FEELING FOR HIM???

I guess everyone has their limit. Duck Boy needs a therapist. A team of therapists. The best therapists, and even then, I'm not sure it will be enough.

"You don't know what working at Goddard is really like" "You have a cool dental plan. Hooray." "It's not about that."

So...they do have a good dental plan? 🪥🦷

"Going new places. Meeting interesting people....LITTLE KIDS?"

Kepler. You didn't. NO. Oh my gosh they have Anne and Minkowski's husband at gunpoint don't they? And they don't even know.

Punch his lights out Doug. Good job.

Though to be fair that IS what working at Goddard seems to be about. Threatening the innocent for a 0.0000000000001% chance that you MIGHT get something out of this in the end.

Poor Lovelace. Hera knows what you're going through though. Exactly, see she does!

"Nobody do anything stupid" it's too late for that Kepler, you're here.

Good speech Lovelace! And nice punch!

"Can we get a break" Nope. Sadly no.

Huh. Hands are glowing. That's...interesting. Maybe she has some cool magic space powers? Is it too much to hope for?

Oh. It's the Dear Listeners. Well. Hello. 👋

Hush up Kepler. 😂 I love how they still talk like Doug.

That's right Kepler. Violence doesn't give you authority!

DISARMING HIM! DOES THAT MEAN HE IS LOSING HIS ARMS!

But...if he doesn't have any hands...

Then...how will he enjoy the feel of the Whisky in his hands?

Doug is hiding 😂 Why is Doug me?

What process are they talking about? “The door won't stay open, we are waiting.” Waiting for what? For what?

Well, at least the aliens don't like Kepler. That's a positive in my book. 👍

Glad Kepler and Jacobi are in custody. But...how exactly are they gonna put the handcuffs on Kepler if he no longer has hands...

Yeah, Minkowski, I'm with Lovelace. You SHOULD be in command. I know you think you're doing what is right, but Lovelace is an alien so...

DOUG. DO NOT SAY THAT THINGS CAN'T GET WORSE. TRUST ME THEY CAN.

Who is this? What is this? Who is Cline? Who is Jordan? What is this? Dr. what now? This is a lot of characters.

Full read out? Minkowski better send them a message warning them about Cutter. USS Hermes? OH NO THEY'RE NOT CALLING MINKOWSKI THEY'RE CALLING CUTTER. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

Who is this? Who is the robot? Expunge the records? Ah yes, the black achieves. Oh Rachel.

"Say hi for me?" Hi to who? HERA oh no ew Pryce isn't it.

TRAVELING???

Please tell me Pryce and Cutter aren't coming to space. Unless it's to get blown up. In that case, they are welcome.

Mini Episode 14: One of Them

Oh they are listening to Jacobi and Kepler.

Looks like Jacobi might fancy a mutiny now.

Doug is me, I want snacks too 😂

"are you worried I can't get around Eiffel?" "Hey!" again, why is Doug me. 😂

Wow, Jacobi really DID care about Maxwell. Well then. Maybe the two of you shouldn't have been working for the bad guys then.

"What kind of officer have you been?" DANG DUCK BOY. GET THAT REDEMPTION ARC. GO DUCK BOY GO! 🦆

"I feel used. I feel experimented on. You treated me like one of them!"

Oh Duck Boy. Sweet silly little Duck Boy. Don't you get it? You've always been one of them. You, Hilbert, Maxwell, Kepler, even Rachel. You've always been one of them.

"You're addicted to gambling with people's lives and you lost!" EXACTLY!

"Neither one of us killed Maxwell." LIES! YOU COULD HAVE STOOD DOWN!

Jacobi is starting to realize that's not necessarily true. Good for him.

"I had my orders." So did Maxwell. So did Hilbert. So did Jacobi.

"You're just the middle link in the food chain" EXACTLY! YEEEESSSSSS!!! DUCK BOY IS FINALLY GETTING IT! AND THANK GOODNESS SOMEONE FINALLY IS BECAUSE HILBERT NEVER COULD! DUCK BOY! YOU'RE DOING IT! WADDLE YOUR WAY TO THAT REDEMPTION LITTLE DUCKLING! YOU CAN DO IT! 🐣

Thanks for reading dear readers. Sorry I didn’t have time to react to more, but I hope you enjoyed this!

[piease-iove-me]

all. of. them

hiiii thank you 🥺🥺

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

mmmm absolutely that one jibaro inspired thing i write this September? i love that baby so much :')

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

yes!!! it's something i started years ago and then dropped. but always think about:') it's got mercenaries and familiars and a whole gang of idiots stuck in one place :')

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

omg absolutely those who mention lines from the chapters OR even better when people go on and on about plot points and characters 🥺 just make me smile so incredibly wide

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

omg idk?? i honestly always scream about it to someone/everything when I'm in trouble 🥹🥹🥹

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

mmmm everything???? mostly I'm just afraid it's not good enough but isn't that just how it is to post and put something of yours out there

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

oh uh... answer to both would be me, in all honesty:') my brain mostly

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

oh god that's a tough one. wishfully i can say it's nice enough to pass general approval????

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

wordy. it's wordy. but ever-evolving

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

i don't really know how to???

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

idk depends? lately I'd say the writing itself and characters rather than the plot

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

mmm as i said, my first dd which got lots of support 🥹

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

mmm omg mind blank. maybe all in some kinds? but not necessarily in a bad way

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

yes😓 there's this heavily dd fic I'm writing with a friend's help that's such a challenging thing to write. i actually had to take a break from it because it often took me in a bad place mentally and i really can't do that rn

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

omg... i can't find anything good to say about them. they're so old all i wanna do is orphan it😭

🍭why did you start writing?

for funsies? just to see if i could pull it off, still trying to understand if i can, actually but it's fun

💎why is writing important to you?

oh ig because it became a way to escape everything? and to throw in all that's going onb

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

oh god idk? don't think it is djhdhd

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

a whole snoozing week 🥹

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

oh uh idk? doubt any is good enough for that but if i had to pick one maybe that one jibaro inspired fic? I'm particularly fond of that one

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

oh i guess i feel lighter? as in it's my own way to get rid of everything going on in my mind so good therapy

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

yes!! but i do understand when it doesn't happen. no big deal

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

oh god... i know it's important to create a following and it's great to have amazing support from the fandom but sometimes it adds up and turns into pressure for expectations so awful for anxiety. i think there's the need to find balance but I'm personally still struggling with that. so what i can do is take occasional breaks from everything as self-care

🧿what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

oh uh actually nothing? i just shrug it away. it's okay

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

_ “As long as she does her job, I don’t need us to like each other.” And his eyes drift to Scott, staring back at him already.

Theo holds his gaze—taking in the disappointment turned discomfort—and then lets himself stand.

“You’re gonna be a team, Mr. Raeken,” he hears, but is already turning around from the table. “You will want them to like you out there.” _

[normalhorse]

I have developed a new youtube strategy and if I don't write it down I'll forget but it's working nicely to find wholesome and delightful woodworking stuff I would never have otherwise found/looked at.

ah this is going to go long so executive summary: this is not really about my new youtube strategy but it is about youtube stuff I like and why. And a bit about my youtube strategy I guess. and how I have autism lmao.

For instance this guy:

makes very quietly-spoken, mostly shop footage and talking to camera (and a bit of inserted reference footage or pov shots, too) videos, making nice furniture out of nice hardwoods and self-made recycled skateboard plywood.

This all delivered with an affect my wife wife described as "radiating warmth and light" and a genuinely engaging and crucially understated enthusiasm. perfect blend of cali skater zen and also manual crafts zen.

Obligatory #youtube grammar notes: nothing egregious so far! One word really caught my attention (not enough for me to, like, remember what it was for sure - I think it was furthermore?), as being far enough away from exactly right as to be jarring also (Andrew if you ever read this I am trying very hard to write this in a way that doesn't seem, like, aggressively negative but if it does, [and this is unsolicited criticism so why wouldn't it] as a countermeasure: you're doing great! one and a half weird words in idk half an hour of footage is frankly incredible. and your videos are lovely. thanks!). The 'half' was one instance out of several uses of 'itself' also hit wrong but I can't explain why even to myself so who cares.

Anyway, it's exactly my shit except a lot of his thumbnails look like high energy sfx-heavy youtube maker stuff yelled at me by a bro (Sorry again Andrew once again you are doing great!) which I would never click on except for my grand strategy of:

subscribe early, subscribe often

just like follow links in videos when you watch a nice video and the presenter says 'inspired by a video from ...' - if they make the kind of videos you want, there's a better than average chance people that inspire them do too.

Yes, the second thing should have been blindingly obvious, but I have a medical condition and don't have to notice things.

Mostly it's that the links are now in the readmore of the description field, and I usually don't read those because they register in my brain as post signatures, so I maybe read the whole readmore once per channel.

(for the sake of internet epoch claiming the relevant signatures are on usenet)

That is, I expect the description to have the same content all the time after the obligatory first line modification (i.e. the actual video description text). There's usually a huge identical section of socmed links, affiliate links to products used in the video, affiliate links to endorsed products/channel sponsors generally.

So I didn't know that sometimes there are video/channel links in there, ok? Also there's a popup info panel but I think I adblocked it lmao.

Anyway. Subscribe early, subscribe often, though: Because windows just shuts itself the fuck down whenever it wants, and chrome no longer restores smashed windows by default (presumably for ultimately surveillance-enhancing reasons), and I have watch history turned off on youtube (yeah I know but also listen being paranoid about the internet is my actual job I am allowed to be a weirdo if I want), once I open a linked video in a new tab or whatever, if the video looks cool I subscribe immediately, because I won't watch it now and I'll lose the tab tomorrow.

Anyway this is probably exactly the usage model youtube would like me to have, but because I have watch history turned off I don't get youtube's """highly curated""" recommended bullshit, I only see <search results for niche interest query> and stuff recommended from videos I'm already subscribed to. So like sort of their model but much more actually useful to me.

cool strategy bro

but yeah the real question is hey do you know any more channels like this for carpentry/metalwork/basically any craft stuff? hit me with yr haberdashery yr leatherwork your embroidery - but not cooking for some reason. because they are extremely important for my little mental health right now cheers

[scarefox]

warning: probably controversial hot take rant 🤷‍♂️

me, a genderqueer who goes by they/them: I wish there was a genderneutral pronoun in my own language, german, too :(

the weird corner of the german queer community: don't worry we got you!! we remove and replace EVERY ''mann'' (male) and also ''man'' (neutral but looks and sounds like mann) in EVERY german word because we hate the patriarchy and therefore hate ever single [redacted] on earth and can't accept seeing them hinted at even in the slightest in text as well :) you are welcome

me: ... that's not what I wanted....? ''man'' isn't even gendered? doesn't it maybe come from the english ''human''? (since german and english is a related language). the cishetes are already struggling and crying to integrate ONE new neutral word into the language. But you want to unnecessarily change and butcher the whole dictionary with wonky grammar and no regards to the linguistic heritage and flow of our language.

them: everyone who disagrees the genderneutral language reform is our enemy! are you even genderqueer enough??? apparently not!! you sound uneducated and like a traitor even. you are part of the problem! don't talk to us ever again.

me: all I want is one neutral they/them in german that fits all purposes (we already adapted it into "dey" it just needs to be pushed more) T_T

P.S.: yall are ridiculous if you think a big crowd of humans (the majority) will bend and accept a whole pointless change of a system they had their whole life, learned in school for decades. without adjustment time, without rethink time, without proper explanation and education about the topic and why they should do that that does not involve hate on them (we inside our own community aren't even clear about the whole other genders yet and how to box them and treat them!!!). And it doesn't have anything to do with my opinion it is simply how human brains work. Nothing in the human world gets changed over night without resistance or force. And if you do it with force you get more resistance and frustration which will boil up into a anti-movement sooner or later. Hint: it's what we have now, the whole hate wave we face? that partly comes from the earlier sjw movement who was very "we are better than you so you are all trash" instead of reasonable explaining to people why certain behavior or words are hurtful to others. AGAIN this is not necessary my opinion but how humans work!! If you go up to some one who behaves wrong and just slap them (verbally) in the face you just get aggression and defense mechanisms back. And I already said it BACK THEN that fighting fire with fire will just cause a bigger fire. Which is where we are now. And it will continue like that because way too many people in this have a superior complex and don't know how to effectly make people do what you want them to do.

You have to treat the stubborn cishetes like little bratty children not like criminals. It is unfortunately like that.... And most of their defence is literally just coming form them not understanding it!!! and we won't move on if we keep going like it as if we were at war with the cishetes / everyone who disagrees (no wonder they treat us like a crazy cult if SOME of us do in fact behave like that....). How do you expect a peaceful agreement and acceptance out of this? I mean most german boomers can't even bring themselves to learn english because they are insecure about it, even tho most of them say "they don't need it"... and that's the same with ever y change they don't get, they feel insecure and confused and play it over with defense and dislike.

[stevesbipanic]

"... You try to fit too much needless detail ..." how? This isn't constructive at all. It gives no proper examples or tips to change it, and the most logical conclusion I can gather from this is that they prefer a totally different writing style and type (everyone writes differently and not everyone likes the same stuff) than yours and got bitchy cause they want you to do it their preferred way. This (and the other comments made) is just rude and comes across as very condescending. 'You don't write using this specific paragraph formula so it's bad and you should fix it' is what I'm getting, and it just sounds like some sort of weird, nitpicky grammar gatekeeping.

Giving examples and providing objective examples rather than opinionated ones from someone who probably thinks differently than the author (some people have different attention apans and experience with talking to people) doesn't help anyone.

Constructive criticism is a form of criticism, but not all criticism is constructive or even true.

I actually admire how you can put out so many ficlets so often without getting burnt out. I can post ficlets maybe twice a month, and even then it takes a lot of effort to write. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist, because I always have to find the correct sentence before I can move on to other parts of the story, but it's impressive that you manage to pump out so many good ficlets at all, even without a proper comparison.

Anyways, have a nice night. Goodbye! ~ 🖊

I love how different everyone's writing style is, you really see their personality come through I know for a fact I've read such different styles and I love them. Some people write really detailed settings or are really good at dialogue heavy fics and that's ok if I don't want to do those sometimes.

Most of not all of my ficlets are written and posted in the moment I think of them and they really help with my uni burnout when I want to be productive but just can't do my assignments for whatever reason. Since they're like detailed brain dumps that usually come to a fully formed work as I write them I don't really care about nitpicky things which is why I create ways like my jump in jump out dialogue that helps me keep flow without being dragged down by she said he said stuff.

Thank you hope you have a nice night too ❤️

[girlscience]

Okay. I actually decided to just try brain dumping everything as close as I could get to my unfiltered thoughts. It actually worked pretty good? It is a lot though and doesn't have great grammar or punctuation/capitalization. But I wanted it out of my brain. If you read, fair warning, I am pretty sure this is all stemming from the fact I sometimes read terf blogs because of a long list of shitty self-harmy sort of reasons. And now my brain is fucked up. I am trying to work through it all and idk heal? but it's hard and I don't know what I'm doing. So if that stuff upsets you please don't read this.

have short hair, no makeup, try to dress masculine (totally fail at that). don't look different from other people. just girl with short hair. no binder cause doesn't work and don't like the way boobs look and move smashed like that. no tape bind cause itchy and bruisey and rips skin when removed. use they/them with friends, is fine. use they/them at work, liar. make them use they/them but don't look it so they they think i'm childish. just gnc woman confused about gender. trying to escape misogyny. think masc means not woman. woman feminine. but i don't think that. think women can/should be whatever they want. just capitulating to patriarchy and misogyny and capitalism's desires.

know all this is terf stuff i have internalized. haven't looked at terf stuff in a month at least. got bored and looked the other day but left soon cause it was bad and made me angry. don't agree with what i see there. just look cause it hurts and i like hurting. now hurt every time someone says they/them. that is right and good and should hurt me. but that's wrong. shouldn't hurt. but why they/them? why not okay she/her? why abandoning women when don't even look nonbinary? sure, want different body, but no one can tell by looking and different body not actually achievable and should work to like body as is and not dissociate from it cause never going to be in different body. but also try that with boobs and now attracted to own breasts so. that is awful and not good and feels worse even.

what if no one likes me without boobs and nipples? when would ever be brave enough to get top surgery? if can hide it so easy (cause no one knows i'm gay or trans unless i say cause it's not obvious cause i don't look it and don't act like it and it's not pressing enough that i can't ignore it) then maybe it's not real. maybe i just want to be special different.

make things complicated for other people. ruin my relationships with my family for no reason. until 1900's no one got top surgery. people existed for millions of years with breasts just fine. i should be fine too. i have lived this long with them, why can't i live the rest of my life with them? female goats don't hate their teats (except maybe they do idk i can't read their minds). my cat doesn't try to be a boy (except she is spayed and never met a boy cat so might not even know boys exist and cats don't have gender like humans so pointless to theorize).

just female. learn to be okay with that and be okay with woman. except i try and i'm not. and i think that's wrong cause i have friends who are trans and i love them and believe them and don't think they should be something they aren't. but i am wrong. broke in some way. internalized things from all sides and can't decide what i am or do anything about it until i fix myself. but don't know how to fix so just suffer always. but doing anything till i figure out is bad and hurts me and other people and not a good role model. but i don't exist to be role model for others. exist for myself. but that's selfish and will never help us escape bad systems that are hurting people and the world. and i would be part of that. i would be mutilating myself. what if i regret? still just lying to coworkers. should never have put pronouns on work page. now can't take it back. don't know how. don't want to take it back but it's wrong. but i don't actually think it's wrong. but i am a woman and i should just learn to be okay with that and need to not be childish and stupid and playing pretend and delusional and and and and. just go in a circle and start all over again at the beginning. no escape just round and round.

[wayoflanguages]

Your focus determines how you feel about your language learning process

Introduction

Your focus determines how you feel about your language learning process.

If you want to be successful, you need to focus on the positive aspects of what you are doing. Whenever something goes wrong or doesn't go as planned, don't make excuses for why it didn't work out. Instead, figure out what went wrong and fix it! The only way to improve is by making mistakes and learning from them.

Tell yourself: "I can learn from the mistakes I make."

Tell yourself: "I can learn from the mistakes I make."

If you're learning a foreign language, you will make mistakes—and that's OK. In fact, it's a natural part of the learning process. The only way to get better at something is through practice and experience.

You won't get better if there are no mistakes in your life! Your goal should be to learn from those errors and turn them into opportunities for growth and improvement.

Tell yourself, "I can improve my language skills over time."

Tell yourself, "I can improve my language skills over time."

One of the most important things you can do to make learning a foreign language more enjoyable is to focus on your improvements rather than on your mistakes. This does not mean ignoring mistakes altogether (I'll talk about that in the next section). Rather, it means focusing on them less and thinking about how much you've improved since you started learning a new language. As you get better at speaking a foreign language and making yourself understood, this will also help motivate you to keep practicing!

To be successful, you need to find the kind of study and practice that is right for you.

Choosing to learn a language is one thing, but choosing how you want to learn it is another. To be successful, you need to find the kind of study and practice that is right for you.

You need to find a way to learn that fits your schedule, your personality, and your learning style. What does this mean? Well, it means knowing what works for YOU! You can't just follow someone else's plan blindly if it doesn't work for YOU!

Don't get discouraged. If you give up on your first try, you're giving up on a chance to learn what works best for you.

Don't get discouraged. If you give up on your first try, you're giving up on a chance to learn what works best for you.

If it doesn't work out the first time, try again! You can always start over and keep at it until you find something that works for your learning style and personality.

It may take time for your brain to adjust to learning this new language, but with some patience and practice, everything will come together eventually.

Be patient with yourself as you learn; don't compare yourself to others who have already been studying for years or think about how much easier it would be if only I wasn't so slow at learning languages!

Set realistic goals. Going on an extended trip somewhere where they speak your target language may be the wrong kind of goal.

Setting realistic goals is important because it helps you stay motivated and avoid disappointment. Going on an extended trip somewhere where they speak your target language may be the wrong kind of goal. Instead, try setting smaller (yet still challenging) goals that are more manageable to achieve over time.

For example: If your goal is to reach fluency in Spanish, start by learning the basics like numbers and greetings, then work up to speaking with people who are fluent in Spanish on a daily basis. It's also good practice to have measurable goals so that when you reach them, you'll know how far along you've come! Think about what success looks like for yourself—and make sure it's something within reach!

Focus on learning how to communicate and learn new things rather than on learning (only) grammar rules.

Focus on learning how to communicate, not just reading and writing.

Speak the language like a native speaker.

Listen to podcasts and music in the language you are learning, even if it's not your first choice of music!

There are many ways to learn a foreign language, and you should focus on finding the approach that works best for you rather than forcing yourself into very structured approaches that make you unhappy.

There are many ways to learn a foreign language, and you should focus on finding the approach that works best for you rather than forcing yourself into very structured approaches that make you unhappy.

You can learn from your mistakes. As with anything else in life, it is important to accept your mistakes and move on. You will not be great at everything on your first try; learning from failure will help improve your skills over time.

You need to find the kind of study and practice that is right for you. It can be useful to look at other people who have been successful at what they do as inspiration for how best practices work for different types of learners such as yourself!

Conclusion

Learning a foreign language doesn't have to be boring or hard. By focusing on the right things and using some key strategies, you can make your learning experience much more enjoyable and effective.