#i cannot be bothered to check how to spell all the special words.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

I am the softly falling snow

my first ffxiv writing about my wol! spoilers for heavenward post the vault as well as the dragoon level 60 quest, and the beginning of stormblood, although all are vague and the second and third are one line each. warning for grief [you know what im taking about] title taken from 'do not stand at my grave and weep'

the observations and musings of solider of camp dragons head as he watches the warrior of light.

The near silhouette of dragoon armor on top of a black chocobo moved over the white snow towards the observatorium. The unusual size of bird and warrior alike marked it as the warrior of light and her favored mount, probably pounding towards Ser Bale and another of his tasks.

The soldiers of dragons head camp had seen her make that trip many previous times. 

Once, the large warrior bursting from the atherite and calling her mount from the stables before running though the gate full speed had caused alarm (and laughter, wild affectionate laughter that these walls no longer heard.)

It still did, as the wide eyes of the fresh blood paired up with him showed. But it could yet be awe of the near mythical woman, someone who became so quickly a hero of ishgard.

He remembered her when she was a lancer still, wandering through the snow, sprinting, terrified of the monsters she now slays with ease, towards the domineering walls of the camp, where the glow of the atherite peaked over the towering stone.

(Still remembers her and her friends shivering bodies crawling through the snow, the near blizzard obscuring them until they got close, frozen to the core, hearts heavy with grief and anger, heroes of eorzea no more, just another group of people seeking refuge)

Still remembers secretive meetings, a parade of notable people that they were sworn to silence about, in and out of that door- a needless gesture in the face of their loyalty to the commander. (still remembers his commander reactions to those meetings)

Despite himself, he is smiling. Memories of the same journey, of when she would stop before pounding down, or even her slow ascents back up towards the warmth of the keep (towards the warmth of the seat of command and the hidden away room and the man within) after grueling missions to prove herself a dragoon.

She doesn't hesitate anymore. Doesn’t pause, just whistles and then moves. She summons the chocobo on the atherite platform, not even reveling in the leap from atop it before doing so.

There has been a lot less joy in Dragons Head. The other outpost’s celebrations of the end of the war and final defeat of the dread wyrm were noticeably louder, the stone walls here still suffocating in grief. 

He found himself wondering if that quiet celebration and suffocating loss was matched in the infamous headquarters of the knights dragoon. Although, they were accustomed to the high death toll and constant grief that marked the years post calamity long before. It hurt to think of the heroes' fellow dragon slayers moving exactly the same, already accustomed to drowning in loss, unchanged even after the horror that befell their leader, and the death of Ser de Vimaroix.

And yet the veil was slowly lifting here. The new soldiers that accompanied the new commander, uncertain around the solemn faces, reminding them of how hospitable these walls were meant to be. The slow acceptance of what happened, the creeping pride in the future he helped create.

A flash of fire shakes him out of his musings, one of the stone giants falling to the heroes first attack. She pauses as the corpse collapses into aether, possibly in shock at how quickly the stone beast fell to her spear, before sprinting towards the next one, to slay it too.

The next one suffers the same swift fate, with her now mere yalms away from the gate.

She enters slowly, and he hurries to the other side of the battlements, not wanting to lose sight of her.

She walks into the commander's room, pulling closed the door behind her. He lets out a breath he was unaware of holding. 

The fresh blood stares at him, eyes wide, before shaking his head and continuing patrol. Evidently the young soldier thought him quite mad, but given the other eyes glued to their armored friend, he was not alone.

The door opened again, the warrior walking out, before… standing still. She seemed almost regretful, the opposite of her confident step in. A shared glance with the guard by the door confirmed his worries.

No doubt when their shifts were up, he would hear the whispers of what happened in that room.

The snow had already drowned her footprints, and was threatening to settle on her hair, before she moved. 

Moved towards the alleyway between the buildings.

Moved towards the door.

His heart ached for her.

After she entered, he waited. Eventually he restarted his patrol, yet still glanced towards the alleyway more than he should have.

-

In the end, he only saw her exit when he was climbing down after his shift had ended. Her solemn face mostly hidden by her helmet. 

The helmet she wasn't wearing when she walked in.

It did little to hide the tightness of her lips, but he had seen dragoon after dragoon hide emotional eyes behind mithril visor - there's a reason the warrior wearing the helmet with the visor up had been a surprise, her fellow warriors all either forgoing the helmet or hiding behind it.

He silently wished her well and for her heart to be at ease. Their commander wasn't the only person they were missing, but she had been taken from them in an entirely different way.

Still it comforted them all, these little glimpses of her, to see her alive, still running, still fighting, growing ever stronger.

He hoped it would be a sight he saw until they were both old and gray. 

He knew that with the way she threw herself into cause after cause, with the whispers of her fighting garleans in the dessert, his hopes, the hopes of the whole camp (the hopes of their commander) might be betrayed.

Yet still he hoped.

[kakusboyfriend]

If your in the mood to write any Psimon headcanons do you mind doing a cuddle/comfort request? I feel like if anyone needs a hug is him.

Love of my life I am so here for writing fluff with him. He's so cute I want to eat him

Oh by the way I'm wicked evil, so I wrote down some reasons Why he would need comfort. I love my guys but I also love to torment them - sooooo it ended up being a bit more about That because I have a lot of thoughts about it. Sorry! Hope it's still fun to read regardless

• it's hard for me to find a villain that wouldn't be extremely stubborn to ask for help, whether it's because everyone already thinks they're weak or because they can't let the tough guy facade break for the sake of their reputation. Psimon is the former, definitely - everyone Knows he's as frail as a soggy sheet of paper, so he's not one to do anything to make himself seem even weaker.

• he's reluctant to ask for help, even if you're intimate. Unless he has a special relationship with someone, he doesn't let himself seem vulnerable around anyone. To be fair, it's not like he's surrounded by people that would jump to his aid should he need it, so it's not like he's missing out on much.

• he used to be better at holding himself together and taking care of himself. However, after the Miss Martian situation, he gets dizzy spells and migraines far more often, and straight up cannot work on bad days. Those are the days he needs comfort the most, no matter how stubborn he is to accept it at first.

• a funny idea to work with when it comes to psychics being sick is losing control of their powers and unintentionally making people feel sick with them. If the whole team is feeling nauseous out of nowhere, you really should check on Psimon before assuming it's a bug - he tends to do that when he's not well, and it's for the better that he leaves early. For everyone's sake.

• it depends on what's actually wrong with him, but usually he'll voice his concerns telepathically instead of speaking. I'm projecting, but forming words can be Taxing, and communicating in that manner is more private, anyways. Unless a bad headache is what's bothering him, then he'll do it verbally.

• if things are Bad bad, he's pratically nonverbal for most of the day, vocally and mentally. It just feels like a huge chore, and he gets by alright without speaking. He's very sensitive to light so he won't be typing either. You'll find a way to communicate eventually.

• to go with my last post, Psimon is very touchy feely when he's unwell. In public, he'll seek your touch almost constantly - not only is it comforting, but it helps him feel grounded instead of dissociating into the nether about it. In private or at home, he gets almost whiny for your touch - something he doesn't give himself the luxury to when with others. It's pathetic and sad, and you really do feel like giving him the world when he's that bad.

• however, if you give in, he'll wrap himself around you and not let go for hours. You're trapped like this, his face buried in your chest so he still has some grip on reality, hugging you as tight as he can. Well, Psimon isn't the strongest guy out there, so you Could leave if you really wanted to - but it's like a cat, really. You wouldn't dare wake him up, would you?

• like I said, he's got mad photosensitivity when he's unwell, so all he wants is to lay around in the dark with you instead of having the TV on. Instead, he'd much rather hear you talk about your day, or your interests, or just anything you want to - he loves the sound of your voice and how it rumbles in your chest when he's pressed against you.

• ok sickness aside, I do think Psimon would love to give and receive tight hugs that go on for a bit too long. He just melts into you, and if you pay attention you'll hear a little discontent noise when you eventually break contact. If it were up to him, you'd stay like that all day.

• dear god he needs reassurance nowadays. Like, once again you don't get a lot of that in villain teams. It may not be as punishing of a workplace as others, but it's certainly not a warm one either. His sequelae are a cause of deep seated insecurity for him, because of how easy it is to write them off as a flaw of character or lack of effort to recover. Not only that, but it's a constant reminder that he's not as powerful as he thought he was.

• we all know it doesn't matter to either of us, but to someone who used to take pride in his abilities, it's hard to admit things have changed. If he seems distant or cold, it's usually a sign you should reach out and try talking to him a bit about the issue. He may avoid your questions at first, but, bit by bit, he'll trust you enough to vent about the matter.

• it really is a patience game, and he's not easy to approach, but it's worth it. He's a gentle and sensitive guy when you're not his opponent, he just doesn't have the opportunity to demonstrate it until you're a bit closer.

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

The Birthday Fic

Several months in the making. Started around Ruggie’s birthday (Which is why he’s the opener) completed long past my own birthday.

Content warning for coarse language, sexuality, mentions of illness and the medication needed for managing it, and getting wildly horny to a point that even I was impressed with myself.

As always, there’s more in my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag, send me a message if you liked it! (I know what the birthday gifts were from most everyone, even if not mentioned in-fic.)

~*~*~*~

"I'm sorry dude, what did you say? You ears started going and I just tuned the fuck out."

"I said, 'when's it your turn to have the school-run birthday party?' It's got it be soon." Ruggie's intentionally twitching his damn ears, has to be, and you had to physically shield your eyes to be able to answer properly.

"I don't fucking know, man, I need to have a birthday for that."

"Everyone has a birthday."

"Yeah, but I don't know when mine is."

"Can't Crowley tell you? He's got all kind of magic."

You sighed. "He tried that, so I could remember my proper name. He can't even get a year fix."

"That fucking sucks, Yuu." Ruggie passed you a pop can before cracking open one himself. "You should get one of these, too."

"Ah, maybe Riddle will take pity and dedicate me a specific Unbirthday party." What was this, melon? Not bad.

"That's not the same because you won't get loot."

"Yeah, you wanna go through fifty boxes of chocolates to get rid of all the ones with potion-of-suck-your-dick? I'm good."

He scrunched his nose in disgust. "People still trying love spells on you?"

"Not as much, but I still get Mal to check them over for me. He's good about that."

"He just doesn't want to share."

"Shush."

"It's true!" He stopped for a moment. "Does he know you don't have a birthday?"

"He hasn't realized yet and you're not going to tell him."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu?"

"Trey?" You blinked up at him. You didn't talk as much as you'd like to, mostly because every time he showed up your mouth rapidly filled with whatever treat he'd just made.

"What do you like best for cake?"

"I will literally eat anything that you put in front of me if you make it, even if it's full of shit I hate."

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, new angle. What don't you like?"

Oh boy, he better prepare himself. "Fondant tastes gross, modeling chocolate is white chocolate so I hate it, a cake should be cake and not mostly fucking icing and rice crispy treats, most icing's too heavy for me if it's not whipped cream- why are you writing this down."

He looked up from his notebook, blinking at you with his pleasing yellow eyes. "Because you always give thoughtful feedback to my baking and I want to make you something as a thank you."

"Oh. If that's it, I'd rather have cheesecake."

~*~*~*~

"Mon Trickster~"

"Rook, I'm trying to re-" You yelped as he squeezed your waist, and you swatted at him. "Fuck's gotten into you?"

"What, I cannot play with my sweet friend?" He'd dragged you from your seat in the library, and was now doing his damndest to twirl you around without ramming you through the tables.

"Not right now! I expect this shit from Floyd, not you." He's going to get you both kicked out of the library if he doesn't smarten up.

"Our dearest Malfeasant is playing with the Rose King right now. Besides, he lacks my talents." He stretched your arms out straight before twirling you around, your back pressed to his front.

"Is that getting away with being a shithead?" you ask as you pap the side of his face, too little force to be a slap but with a similar message of 'stop'.

"Amongst much else, my dear!" He managed to dip you low, bracing one of your legs in the air, and you wiggled out of his grasp with a thump to the floor.

"Ah, what an invitation, ma belle! But alas, I cannot. It could never be. I'll see you at lunch." And he left you there, baffled, on the floor.

You wound up getting kicked out of the library after you started shrieking in rage and kicking like a damned toddler. What the fuck was that about?

~*~*~*~

"People are being weird."

"Everyone's weird around you." If Idia's combo kept, this would be a perfect match. "You encourage it in people with your presence. It's a passive AOE. No fighting against it."

"More than normal."

"It's the curse of spring. If you aren't sneezing, you see pretty girls and get stupid." He got his perfect match, and went back to the lobby. "Even I'm not immune to simp fever and spring flowers."

"You sure? You only go outside so you don't die of Vitamin D deficiency."

He pouted at you. "Girlfriends are supposed to be nice to you, you know."

"If I stopped, you'd wonder what's wrong. Anyway, then you couldn't brag to your followers about a tsundere girlfriend."

"You're not even a tsundere! You genuinely like me even when you're mean." He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "You're maybe sadodere."

"What's that one?"

"Sadistic yet affectionate."

You opened your mouth but genuinely couldn't argue. He was too fucking cute not to be mean to! What can you say? That pwease-no-buwwy aura he got when distressed was just too much.

"Yeah." He paused, a small smile creeping across his face. "Yuu."

"Yeah?"

"You really like stripes, don't you?"

You looked down, at his blue striped shirt you were wearing. It honestly fit you better than it did him. Further down was pinstriped socks, and if you remembered, the underwear had stripes too.

"What do you think."

~*~*~*~

"Mal?" "Yes?" "Why do you have all this even if you don't wear any of it?" "I do wear earrings now, thanks to you." He dropped another oversized ring onto your finger. "The rest, I simply don't bother with unless I must appear in an official capacity."

"So I'm a special occasion?"

He smiled at you, sweet and genuine. "Always."

"Then why am I your jewelry rack today?" So many necklaces. So many rings. There'd be a crown on your head, too, if the crowns for Draconias weren't essentially elabourate chains hanging off the horns.

"Perhaps I enjoy seeing you wearing my things. You wear Shroud's all the time." He was slowly going through a box of rings, trading them on and off your fingers after puzzling over them.

"Your clothes are tailored, and I'm too big around." You thought for a moment. "So, Mal."

"Yes?"

"Are you planning on something you aren't telling me?"

He blanched and immediately went shift eyed. "Of course not."

You took a breath. "I'm gonna say no."

"Yuu-"

"I'm pretty sure your grandmother would eat me alive if I said yes."

"No!" He made a shushing guesture. "I... am planning something. But not a proposal, my goodness, that would be too much pressure for you and would splinter the kingdom." He sighed. "Even if I would like it."

"I know you would. What are you planning."

"No."

"Yes, tell me."

"It's a surprise. You'll get it at some point in the future."

You thought back to some of the stranger events of the past few weeks. "... is it a birthday party, Malleus."

"Nnnnnnoooooooooooooo?" His face was a desperate, wide-eyed mask of please-believe-me.

"Yes it is."

"I didn't say that."

"You might as well have!"

"It's not." He wasn't even facing you anymore, knowing his face would betray him.

You took a deep breath. 

"I can keep pretending I don't know. I mean, if you want to throw a surprise party, I can't really stop you. And anyway," you added, "If I don't have a set birthday, there's no way I can know exactly when it's coming."

He relaxed, slightly.

"Don't get me a ring, though."

He chuckled. "That does have implications, doesn't it."

"Don't it, though?"

"I was checking what colours were most flattering for you." He finally turned around, all warm smiles. "I should have known. They all look lovely, because you're the one wearing them."

"Stop." You could feel you cheeks reddening. "If it helps, gold doesn't make my ears act up."

~*~*~*~

When you walked to your dorm one warm day, after school, you simply could not see the building for the brambles grown up since you left this morning.

"Yuu?"

"Grim?"

He squinted at you, unimpressed. "Your prince boyfriend has lost his fucking mind. Why'd he do this?"

"I think I know." You looked in amongst the branches, which held no roses, but something better. You plucked off a blackberry and held it to your little shoulder monster.

"Ew, no. I want tuna."

"Suit yourself." There was a path, and if you got on tiptoes, a tent half-hidden behind the briar. "You ready for a party, Grim?"

"What? What party?"

You shifted him from your shoulder to your hip as you walked along, careful of your sore arm. "They decided I needed a surprise party because I don't have an actual birthday. Figured it out like two... three? weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He stopped, looked away, and bristled. "Why didn't they tell me?!?"

"Because you can't keep a fucking secret?"

He yelled and scrambled to the ground. "Hey assholes why didn't you tell me I better be getting presents too-" He's already out of sight, and you can't stop laughing at him. It's better like this, when he's himself.

~*~*~*~

Why is Everyone here. There's a huge stack of presents, there's a buffet table, there's chairs, there's - 

"Shrimpie's here!" And then everyone converged with enough words that it was just a wall of sound; mystery hands leading you to a chair, someone was trying to stick a hat on you -

"Wait!"

People only stepped off and quieted because your voice cracked. Idia, hiding in a corner, managed to raise sympathetic eyebrows before whispering something into Azul's ear.

"I gotta go inside for like, five minutes, I'll be right back." And off you went.

~*~*~*~

"You don't seem the type to do drugs."

You looked up and laughed. "Well, Vil, I gotta get through the day somehow." You shook out two pills and poured a glass of water.

"What are they for?" He leaned against the doorway, as though it wouldn't cover his clothes with splinters and dust.

"These," you said as you pointed to the two in your hands "are anti-nausea. They're new."

"How many of those do you take?" He nodded towards the other bottles on the counter. “I didn’t see them during training.”

"Well," you said, as you started to number them off on your fingers. "I started the first ones after Eliza, to help stabilize my organs, the second ones were immunity-boosting after my pneumonia, I started taking vitamins after that as well, I got sleeping pills for nightmares after Jamil blotted - they don't always work, but hey - and, well." You shook your current bottle. "Your curse vapours are pretty good, it turns out."

He blanched, and you backpedaled. "You weren't yourself, and I only have to take these before meals now. I had to get IVs in the morning for a few days, I couldn't keep... wait, wait, shit, no, I'm sorry, don't make that face -"

Vil crossed the distance, putting his face very close to yours. "You should have told me."

"Why make you feel even worse, man?"

"Because I could have formulated something better for the damage." He flicked your nose, more exasperation than malice. "Cures and poison go hand in hand. I can't fix what was done if I don't know."

"Taking care of my medical woes is not your job, Vil."

"You don't get to tell me what is and isn't my job." He squeezed you close with one arm. "You're just an exhausting little potato."

"I'm a delicious little sweet potato that you can't resist."

He sighed, exhausted. "Yes you are. Now take your pills and stop with secrets."

~*~*~*~

"What kept you?"

"Had to make sure there's room in the fridge for all your food, Trey." He hadn't chosen one cheesecake - he had at least two dozen varieties of bite sized miniatures, labeled by flavour and potential allergens. "You were busy."

"Well, I felt like experimenting. I hope you don't mind."

"You're the one doing me a favour." You looked around, everyone chatting idly with one another. "Where's Mal."

"..."

"I swear to fucking god if he didn't get an invitation to the party he helped organize-"

~*~*~*~

It turns out he'd left to fetch an obnoxiously large bouquet of flowers, the scent so overpowering you thought your chair might tip from the force of it.

"You do enjoy them?" Mal was so cute when unsure.

"Yes, dear." As long as people didn't crowd in again. Lately, you can only take so much sensation before your brain shorts out and you start yelling. "Set them on the table, I'll have to start on them later." Hairspray and an arid room would have those dried within the week.

"Which part of the celebration will we start with first?"

"I don't know. It's my party but you're the ones throwing it. Where's Grim?"

He pointed over to one of the set up tables, where Grim sat in a pile of wrapping paper, furiously kick-scratching at a wriggling toy fish as big as he was, while Cater filmed. "We realized a few days ago he'd be unhappy if he didn't get his own presents."

"Aww. Is there catnip in that?"

He leaned in conspiratorially. "We're not supposed to have any on campus because Kingscholar is susceptible to it."

You went right past normal laughter straight to wheezing.

~*~*~*~

So far, the highlights were: A mycological photobook from Jade big enough to crush someone's head with (that he cheerfully wrote as such on the inside flap), an enormous multipack of slipper socks from Ruggie (with a note saying it was a return on the doughnut-patterened ones you'd given him for his own birthday) and a parure set from Floyd, crafted from thousands of woven seed pearls with carved coral feature beads that was frankly obscene in the amount of money it must have cost. (He, of course, said it was worth it as long as you wore it for him, and simply laughed when you quipped that he meant with clothing right?)

The rest was fantastic, still - various books and movies, a pretty glass vase from Ace stuffed with wildflowers, fine silk dresses from Kalim and a simple belled bracelet tucked in, from Jamil. Currently, you were opening a basket from Vil.

"Oh, wow," you meant with sincerety as you pulled out a light, fragrant soap. "You make this yourself?"

"Yes. There's soaps, shampoo, conditioner, perfumes, lotions..."

You smiled at him sweetly. "You saying I stink, Shoenheit?"

He mirrored your smile right back at you. "Be sure to use them."

"... I'm going to kill you," you said, laughing, as you lobbed the wrapping paper at his face.

~*~*~*~

"Az?"

"Mm?" He was watching with amusement as you looked the jacket over, a lovingly tailored frock coat in periwinkle wool and shell toggles.

"Are you sure this'll fit?"

"Of course." He guestured down the table to Rook, who waved. "He checked your measurements."

"When did-" Ohhhhhh. Oh. Alright. "I'm surprised he couldn't tell by just looking."

"I could, mon ange! But that was more fun!"

~*~*~*~

Malleus barely hid his pout when sliding his box over to you, and it didn't take you long to guess why. "Floyd's jewels really show yours up, huh."

"Perhaps," he said, pointedly not looking at the boy currently playing with Grim.

"Yours are more special because they're from you." When unwrapped, the box was stunning; carved walnut with shell inlaid curlicues. "My god, how old is this?"

"Older than I am," he said with a smile.

"How old is that, Mal."

He just kept smiling, and you rolled your eyes and opened the box to reveal a piece far, far different than the frothy confection Floyd gave you. A single, sizable brooch of gilt and enamel, a tiny faerie woman staring up at you with imperious emerald eyes, she was so lovingly crafted you could see the tension of her muscles and the hair between her legs.

"This piece is only a hundred and fifty years old," he said mildly. "The artist lives in the Valley of Thorns, and created it in the image of her lover." His smile was fond, and sweet. "They're still together to this day. Even if we may not last so long, I hope that it can be as strong."

The sentiment was enough to make you tear up.

~*~*~*~

Several tissues and a bat-shaped blanket from Lilia later, Idia pulled out a large box. And another, and another.

"Uh, Idia."

He just turned red as he stacked another box.

"Dude, holy fuck. What did you do?"

"Looked at your wishlist on your shopping websites." He's flickering pink at the tips of his hair. "Couldn't decide."

"I told him to just get them all!" Ortho looked wildly proud of himself. "Some of them are from me."

You blinked several times. "I thought the sites broke." You started feeling faint. "Idia."

"Yes?" He finally brought out one last box, easily two thirds your height, and set it in front of you.

"Some of those dolls were... so much madol."

He was shifty-eyed. "Yeah."

"Some of the outfits were themselves more than some of the dolls on those wishlists."

Despite the redness, his face was still. "Yeah."

"Oh my god." You're already sitting down, but you need to lie down. "That's too much money."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"Why do you have so much money one of those sites alone was at least a million madol's worth of-"

"Please just open the boxes," he said in a strained voice. "I don't want them all staring."

You take your shaking hands to start unwrapping, mentally trying to figure out which rooms in the building were sound enough to hold obscene amounts of porcelain, resin and plastic. By the time you were done, there were over forty of varying shapes and sizes with complete wardrobes for each; the last not even on any list - that was an art piece near as tall as you, a fine bone china girl with golden curls and knowing eyes from an artist whose work did not go for less than five million madol even firsthand. Your vision greyed at the sight of her, and when you came to your senses, everyone breathed a sigh of relief before spending the rest of the evening treating you as something at least as delicate and precious as her.

~*~*~*~

It's just past sunset, and guests are still milling about. You're not really looking at them, though - you're losing your little friend.

Grim's only himself in daylight, now. Once the night hits, he goes back to the strange, feral thing that laid your wrist open to eat a chunk of solid ink. He's gone twitchy, wordless, pacing with his now headless robot fish in his mouth, before finally tearing through the brambles to god-knows-where.

"... I don't know what to do about it. He doesn't come back at night anymore. What if he doesn't come back at all one night?"

"I won't let that happen." Idia was draped over the back of your chair, idly playing with the wrapping on your wrist. You couldn't see his face, but a curious tension was clear in his voice. "How many of those crystals has he eaten?"

"All of them, as far as I know." There may have been one on the camping trip that you were mercifully excluded from; thankfully your restraining order against Vargas meant that Grimm had been allowed to attend by himself. Good thing, too, your period had arrived weeks early. "Do you think it's like mercury poisoning? The effects get worse as more collects in his body?"

"Maybe. It's something to look into."

You snorted, lightly. "What do you know about it?"

"... Less than I'd like." Before you could ask, he leaned down to your ear to whisper, "I'd rather know you."

"What, now?" You looked around at the tables. "There's still people here-"

You barely stifled a cry when he nipped at your earlobe. "I put on something nice for you~" You could hear the smirk in his voice as he played every trick in his book to goad you. "Unwrap me and see~"

It took every ounce of self control in you to not throw him down on the table and take him right there, in front of God and every student in the school.

~*~*~*~

"I'm too late, I see."

"Close that damned door before everyone hears."

Malleus obediently shut the door to the balcony before setting his slotted pillow on the dresser. "They couldn't even if they had their ear to the door, I soundproofed all our rooms months ago."

"Aren't you clever. Did they buy the excuse?"

"I think that they would have believed that you were going to bed if you did not say it as soon as Shroud went inside looking very proud of himself."

You flopped back onto your pillows, eliciting a sleepy grunt from Idia. "Shit."

"And if you didn't trip on the stairs in your haste."

"Now you're making fun of me."

"Perhaps," he smiled, sitting at the foot of your bed and idly stroking your leg.

"So, why didn't you tail up after us?"

"I am, if I try very hard, capable of some discretion, even when it comes to you," he huffed. "And anyway, someone had to see everyone off, get everything put away, and bring the gifts inside."

Your face fell. "I'm sorry-"

He crept up to put a finger to your lips. "It was very simple. Now," he pressed himself against you and turned to look at Idia's drowsing form, "what is this?"

You snickered lightly to yourself. "I think he found my browsing history." All you'd left on him was a fine pair of silk stockings, with delicate stripes from thigh to toe. You'd never thought he'd even consider wearing something like that, but your pretty blue boy was so full of surprises.

Malleus hummed to himself as he reached out a hand, dragging a finger along one bruised hip. Idia only sighed and fluttered his lashes, and Mal let out a stuttering gasp.

"Do you think," he whispered, voice hoarse, "that if I took these off with my teeth, that he would still stay asleep?"

You felt faint at the thought. "I don't know, but let me watch you try."

~*~*~*~

You awoke, later, to Idia sitting with the blankets pooled around his waist, five of his blue screens open. You couldn't make much sense of them, too sleepy to make out the letters on their obnoxious brightness, so you reached out both hands to squeeze his waist.

He yelped and scowled at you. "Go to sleep."

"No, you." The screens weren't making any more sense, but there was, briefly, a picture of Grim. "What are you working on?"

"I'm almost done," he said, which was not an answer but you were too tired to notice, so you reached up his back to wind a few locks of hair around your hand - and pulled, which lead to another annoyed yelp as he quickly saved and closed his work. "Just say you're weak to light attacks instead of doing that."

"You know I am." When he finally laid back down beside you, you put your face to his chest, as much to block out the light from his hair as for warmth and comfort. No wonder he slept so poorly, he literally gave off blue light every hour of the day, that only dimmed once he was already asleep. "Tell me about it later, okay?"

"Later," he said, and you drifted off between your two boys, which was almost as nice as sleeping with Grim in your bed, but this would have to do until he got better.

[awhitehead17]

Universal Signs

Chapter 21 / Previous Chapter

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

The days that follow Tim’s rescue from the League of Assassins turn out to be rather dull. They certainly don’t hold any excitement like the time it took to save Tim from the League. The dullness of the days may actually be a positive thing rather than a negative thing because they were all resting and recovering from what happened.

They all have a bout of fatigue which lasts for around a day, or in Tim’s case several days. Bart, Kara and M’gann are all thankfully okay as none of them had sustained any form of injury during the rescue. By this point, Bart had pretty much recovered from his unexplained coma he had fallen into when Tim had been kidnapped.

Other than feeling the fatigue, Cassie is fine. Her biggest problem is the unknown bracelets that are still encasing her wrists. Her powers are still blocked and so far they’ve tried everything to remove them but it’s all resulted with no luck. As far as Kon knows, the leaders have contacted a powerful sorcerer and have asked them to come to Krypton to remove the bracelets. The sorcerer will be arriving within the next couple of days.

Kon himself isn’t doing too bad. He’s felt the same fatigue everyone else has but has not sustained any physical injuries. His biggest problem is the kryptonite particles that are still in his body. While Ra’s hadn’t injected him with enough that would kill him, Kon had been injected with enough that his own powers are subdued from the poison. He has the occasional dizzy spell and there are times when he feels nauseated, but other than that he’s okay. The medical specialists haven’t been much help, they haven’t encountered this kind of scenario before so Kon’s currently playing the waiting game and seeing if it passes. The hope is that his body will eventually flush out the poison in its own time.

Out of all of them, Tim’s suffered the worst. He’s experienced the fatigue worse than anyone else, Kon knew humans slept a lot but Tim’s been sleeping a lot more than usual which is rather concerning. He’s also gained the most wounds. When they first found him on the ship, Kon had been horrified to find out that Tim had been tortured. The poor human had been whipped and beaten, he looked exhausted and his back had been covered in fresh cuts.

As soon as they had reached Krypton, they immediately got Tim some medical help. The specialists had seem rather stumped for a moment, like they didn’t know how to proceed when treating a human but soon enough they took action and treated Tim’s back with a special healing agent that was supposed to help increase his recovery time.

When they had all been checked over they were allowed to go to their rooms to rest for some time. The resting interlude lasted longer than Kon had been expecting but eventually he, Cassie and Bart had been summoned to the office and were forced to face a livid Kal.

Kon knew the lecture was coming. He had known he was going to be in serious trouble from the moment he decided to go rescue Tim from the League. Rao, he knew he would be in trouble from the moment they allowed Tim onto their ship when they first met him.

Knowing it was going to happen, Kon didn’t bother to argue against Kal as the older Kryptonian furiously yelled at them. What Kon hadn’t expected during the lecture was for Tim to come in and disrupt Kal with an abashed looking Kara right behind him.

When Kal tuned on Tim that’s when Kon knew he had to protest, there’s no way any of this had been Tim’s fault. Everything that has happened is because it’s been a result from a choice Kon had made. When Kal had boomed at him to keep quiet Kon found himself unable to disobey. He sat down and allowed it all to play out. Much to his surprise, and even delight, Tim didn’t need any defending, he stood up to Kal without a problem and got his opinion and point across.

The whole situation took an unexpected turn when Kal sat down behind the desk, looking resigned and even tired. He heard Tim out, pointed out all the faults, how they’ve disobeyed the rules and how they need to be punished for their actions before dismissing them.

After the four of them left Kara in the office with Kal, they immediately jumped Tim demanding answers for his sudden appearance and why he thought it had been a good idea to argue with the older Kryptonian like that. Before discussing it they decided to retreat to Kon’s room where they would have the privacy to openly talk about it.

Kon’s heart melted as Tim told them his reasons and what he thought of the situation. It meant a lot to him, and the others, that Tim would want to stand up for them like that and even care enough to confront their leaders to get his point across.

Towards the end of their talk, Kon could tell that the day had been wearing on Tim. The human looked entirely exhausted and it seemed like he was about to fall asleep any second. Giving Tim an easy way out, Kon suggested that he should get some rest while they go make themselves useful elsewhere. Tim looked unsure on the idea but didn’t really protest against it and easily laid down on the bed while they left the room.

That had been two days ago. Not a lot has changed during that time. Bart seemed fully recovered and is zipping around all over the place and is chatting everybody’s ears off as he does so. Cassie still has the bracelets over her wrists as the sorcerer has yet to arrive. Kon’s just starting to get his powers back, he could feel hints of his Telekinesis returning which happens to be a huge relief. Tim is recovering rather well too. His back is nearly healed now, while the wounds have closed and almost disappeared, his usually pale skin is rather pink and is apparently sensitive. It’ll be another few days until his skin is back to feeling normal.

The four of them have been together almost constantly since returning to Krypton. They would occasionally been joined by others but majority of the time it remains to be them four only. Just like on the ship, they play various of games, talk and share stories and even watch some entertainment.

Tim tells them more about Earth and Kon notices the change in Tim as he talks about his home planet. His face gets a faraway look to it, especially if the topic is on his family, as he describes the planet and what it contains. He describes about the different ways humans can live and even goes into detail about what an average day may look like to them. It sounds absolutely bewildering to Kon but he doesn’t comment on it.

During one of Tim’s stories they get summoned to report to Kal’s office. The request (or in fact demand) instantly kills the light atmosphere of the room and they all share a heavy knowing look. They all know what the topic of this meeting is going to be about as Kon and his team have been waiting to hear back from Kal and the leaders about what their punishments are going to be.

They had knowingly broke important rules and kept major secrets hidden so it’s only a guess to what’s going to happen to them now. Kon honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they all get exiled or something equivalent to that.

They wait outside the office to be called in, all of them feeling apprehensive about how this meeting is going to go. Despite this feeling, Kon still doesn’t regret any of his choices. He doesn’t regret picking Tim up off that planet from when they first met and he certainly doesn’t regret disobeying orders and rescuing Tim from the League.

When they finally get called in Cassie walks in first with the rest of them trailing behind her. They enter the room and stand in a line in front of the desk where Kal is standing watching them. Kon takes note that it’s only Kal in the room and how no other leaders are present. It doesn’t mean much, however having only Kal present to deliver the news of the punishment eases Kon’s nerves by a fraction, not a lot, but some.

“Have a seat.” Kal tells them. They all sit down without a word.  

“You all know why you’re here. The leaders have made a decision on what your punishment is going to be based on you disobeying orders, keeping secrets and endangering lives.” Kal looks over them scrutinizingly. “You’re all fortunate because what has been decided could have been a lot worse, especially with what was being considered. I vouched for you and managed to ease the severity of your punishment. ”

Kon’s eyes go wide at that news. He’s stunned to hear that Kal had stood up for them, had somewhat softened their punishment for unknown reasons to Kon. Before he could question it Kal continues to talk.

“Your punishment includes the three of you going on probation for the foreseen future. You three cannot not be trusted to be sent on missions and you will remain on either Krypton, Themyscira or Keystone at all times. When you have showed you can follow orders and be obedient, you will then be allowed to go on missions. While on those missions, you will be assisted by an older member of the squadron until you prove yourselves yet again. Only when myself and the other leaders are satisfied with your behaviour will you be allowed to go off independently.

During that time, your training regime will increase while your downtime will decrease. You will all be watched closely and expected to obey every order without complaint and completed with full effort. The fact that we’re allowing you to stay together is one of the reasons why you have gotten off lightly.”

Kon blinks at him, absorbing what he’s being told. The punishment isn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. If he’s being honest, that’s in fact a really light punishment considering what they’ve done. It’s making him wonder what levels of negotiating Kal had done to allow that to be the final decision.

His attention focuses back on Kal when he moves around the desk to the front where he then leans against it. Kal observes them and crosses his arms across his chest in a casual pose, to Kon it looks rather odd. It’s unsettling to see because Kon can’t remember the last time Kal look this easy going about something, especially when dealing with a heavy topic like this.

“For now however, it’s been decided that you three still have a job to finish. You are required to finish collecting the remaining items from the list and return back to Krypton without any detours. Once you are back your probation will start.

Whilst on your travels, the leaders have decided to give you permission to return the human back to Earth. The sooner he returns back to where he belongs, the quicker things go back to the way they were before his appearance.”

As if things couldn’t get better, they do. Kon’s gaze snaps over to where Tim is sitting and finds the human looking at Kal in a state of shock and excitement. For probably the first time Kon could guess to what’s going through Tim’s head, he can’t believe he’ll finally be going home after everything he’s been through.

Kal grabs Kon’s attention again as he continues on. “The sorcerer we have been waiting for to remove those bracelets on Cassandra will be arriving later this day. Once he has dealt with them you four are required to stay on Krypton for several more days and then you’ll be sent to finish your job and to take the human back to Earth.

That is all I have to update you on. You will receive further details regarding everything I have spoken to you about over the next few days. Kon-el, stay behind, I would like to talk to you privately.”

Once Kal had stopped talking it takes them all a moment before they’re moving. It’s like it takes everyone a moment to understand and absorb everything that’s been said. Cassie and Bart stand up, sending Kon almost pitying looks which Kon sends a tight smile in return, while Tim remains frozen in his seat. Cassie gently takes his arm and starts pulling him up, the action seems to bring Tim back into the present and he allows himself to be dragged out of the office by the Amazon. Bart follows closely behind and slams the door shut once they leave.

Kon turns back to Kal, his nerves returning as he waits to hear what Kal wants to say to him and not the others.

“Kon,” Kal sighs. The older Kryptonian slumps more against the desk and runs a hand over his face. “I wish I didn’t have to put you on any form of probation but there was no choice.”

Upon hearing that Kon shakes his head. “Honestly, probation didn’t even come to my mind. I had been expecting exile or something.” He looks at Kal, trying to search for the answer. “Why did you vouch for us? What kind of negotiations did you make so we could stay together, so we could keep our jobs and even help Tim get back to Earth? I don’t understand why you would do that for us.”

Kal drops his hand and stares at Kon for a long moment. His eyes boring into Kon’s own and Kon stares back just as transfixed. There’s been many times in his life where Kon’s stared down Kal, nearly all of which he lost but this feels different. There isn’t any heat behind this, only confusion and misunderstanding.

“I know what you think of me Kon-el. I know I’m hard on you, demanding high expectations and treating you as another squadron member when in fact you are more than that to me.”

Kon swallows thickly and stands up from his chair as Kal starts approaching him. There’s still quite a height difference between them, but Kon standing up means that Kal is then looming over him as much as he would be if he stayed sitting.

“You are my son, Kon-el. No matter what you think or how my actions may come across. I am angry with what you did but reflecting back on it, you were simply doing what you believed was right. I am proud of you for that, proud that you have those kind and strong personality traits inside of you.

Of course I was going to fight and negotiate terms with the other leaders to make the punishment as less harsh for you and your team as possible. Luckily considering my position and the respect I have, my opinion on the matter was regarded highly, even with the many complaints against what I was saying.”

Kon gapes at Kal in complete astonishment. He’s rendered speechless from the information he’s been told. Kon hadn’t been expecting that at all and he has no idea how he should react to it. Kal has never shown this much affection and devotion to him. They’ve never been close all throughout Kon’s life, they’re constantly fighting one another and can never seem to agree on anything.

This has totally caught him off guard and he doesn’t know what to do.

The two of them stand there in silence opposite one another long enough for it to become awkward. Kon has the strongest urge to escape from the room, to get away from this atmosphere, but he can’t seem to make his feet move. Kal’s eye are constantly darting between him and another point in the room, it makes Kon wonder if Kal is having the same thoughts as him.

“I, uh, is, is that everything?” Kon stutters out eventually after finding his voice again.

Kal stares at him, looking uncomfortable. “Yes. That’s everything. You and your team need to stay on Krypton for several more days and then you can go to Earth.”

Kon blinks at Kal for a moment longer. It’s still so unexpected that they’re allowed to stay together and also how they get to take Tim home after all of this.

Deciding to finally get out of the office and away from the awkwardness, Kon gives Kal a curt nod and leaves the room. He strides out of the office without looking back and once the doors have closed behind him Kon stops in the middle of the corridor to take a deep breath before letting it out. As he does, he feels most of the tension in his body leave.

His mind begins to work over-time as it replays the whole conversation between him and Kal over and over again. Kon’s still in shock of it. He probably won’t believe what’s been said until it actually happens. It does make him wonder on how truthful Kal is being. Will he stick to his word or will he double-cross them at the last second?

Kon shakes his head and starts travelling down the corridor. He needs to find the others and see what they make of the situation.

Taking a guess to their whereabouts Kon heads for his room first and is pleased to find that his assumption is correct. He finds Bart and Tim laid out over the bed with Cassie sat on the chair, to his surprise even Kara is in there too, leaning against the desk next to Cassie.

Kon shuts the door behind him and rests his back against the wardrobe.

“Kara’s just telling us how Match and Thad are having new trial after everything that has happened.” Cassie speaks up glancing at him. “Unfortunately we won’t be around to see it because we’ll be working off planet. Which thinking about it, is probably why the leaders are holding it after we leave.”

Kon raises an eyebrow at Cassie before turning his attention to Kara. “How did you find that out? Kal never mentioned anything of it.”

Kara shoots him a cunning grin. “I have my ways.”

He opens his mouth to respond but quickly decides against it. It’s probably for the best he doesn’t know. He hums in response instead.

“Did you get in trouble?” Bart asks from his position on the bed. He’s fiddling with something in his hands and seems to be completely unperturbed by Tim who is currently resting his head on his shoulder and appears to be falling asleep.

“What?”

“With Kal? When he asked you to stay behind. What did he want?”

Kon thinks over his answer before saying anything. He doesn’t know how much detail he should go into about their conversation. It feels kind of personal and Kon’s not sure if he actually wants to share that with them. In the end he decides to give as minimal details as possible.

“He pretty much just reiterated what he told us as a team. There wasn’t anything to it really.”

A glance around the room tells him that he’s only piqued their curiosity more, they’re sending him questioning looks, silently asking for more details but he shakes his head in denial. “It’s nothing. I promise.”

While seeming reluctant to do so, they thankfully they let it go.

After that they sit around talking and not generally doing a lot, not that there’s much they can do anyway. Tim does end up falling asleep on Bart and the Speedster lets him do so while the rest of them talk quietly around him. At some point Kara says her farewell and leaves the room claiming she has things to do.

They stay in the room for a few hours until they decide to go grab some food. Or more correctly, Bart complains enough about being hungry that he and Cassie give in in order to make him shut up. They wake Tim up, who blinks around groggily looking confused as ever.

Their plan for food is put to a halt however when Kal bumps into them in a corridor leading to the canteen area of the TOC. The older Kryptonian declares he had been searching for them because the sorcerer has arrived to remove the bracelets off of Cassie’s wrists.

They each share a surprised look and eagerly follow Kal. They wonder through the building and end up in a single room which is assigned for meetings. There’s a large oval table in the middle of the room which is surrounded by multiple of chairs and there are a few different cabinets around the edge of the room.

Sat in one of the chairs is someone who is wearing a gold helmet over their head, a blue and gold one-suit with a gold cape draped over his shoulders.

“This is Doctor Fate. He’ll be able to remove the bracelets off of Cassie.” Kal introduces him to them.

They politely give him their greetings and after a short conversation, Doctor Fate moves over to Cassie and begins to examine the bracelets encasing her wrists. There’s a long, drawn out silence as he does this. Kon watches with concern, not liking the fact that he has no idea what’s going on.

Eventually Doctor Fate begins speaking, saying words Kon doesn’t understand, as he hovers his hands over Cassie’s wrists. His tone sounds rather robotic, as he seems to chant certain words repeatedly. Alongside the chant, a light from his palms appears and wraps itself around the bracelets.

Kon watches the scene both cautiously and in awe. It’s bizarre to be witnessing something like this happening, however he wishes it weren’t one of his teammates on the end of it.

He’s broken out of his thoughts when Cassie suddenly gasps and a loud popping sound could be heard. The two bracelets fall to the ground as they pop off Cassie’s wrists and the light dies as Doctor Fate stops chanting.

Cassie gingerly reaches up to stroke the skin of her wrists, as if checking to see if they’re unharmed. Seeming satisfied, she looks up at Doctor Fate, nodding at him in gratitude. ��Thank you.”

“I haven’t encountered a spell like that in a long time. I hope I don’t see it for many more years to come. Your abilities will eventually return though it’ll take time, especially considering how they have been suppressed recently.”

Cassie hums with understanding and takes a step away from the sorcerer. They all stand around and watch as he bends down to pick the bracelets up off the floor. He waves a hand over them again and then they suddenly vanish. Kon does a double take, blinking several times to try and comprehend that’s just what happened. He’s used to a lot of things but objects magically disappearing isn’t one of them.

Doctor Fate moves with his body as he glances around the room, he stills as his eyes land on Tim. The human, who has now woken up more, visibly jerks at the sudden attention. Kon sees him tense up as the sorcerer strides forward until he’s directly in front of Tim, looking down at him for a long time without saying anything. Tim looks like he’s stuck between frozen in fear and ready to make a run for it in a moment’s notice.

“I have something to assist you, human from Earth.” Doctor Fate says in that robotic voice. The only change in Tim’s appearance is the widening of his eyes. “This here will act as a cloaking device, it will keep you hidden from those who wish to follow you and cause you harm. I cannot guarantee full immunity, however it will help and at the least slow down any pursuers.”

Doctor Fate then holds up a what looks like a thin chain. It’s silver in colour and hanging at the bottom of it is a red gemstone. Kon isn’t exactly knowledgeable of gemstones but he could take a guess and call it a ruby given its red colour.

Tim’s mouth opens but he doesn’t say anything. Doctor Fate holds out the cloaking device and prompts Tim to take it. The human does so and carefully cradles it in his palm as he studies it.

“For as long as you have it on you, it will work. Take it off or give it away, it will no longer function as it should.”

Tim finally seems to get over the shock and trance he had fallen into and looks up at the sorcerer towering over him. He nods. “I understand. Thank you, it means more than what words can describe.”

As if sensing that to be a close to the conversation, Doctor Fate turns around to face Kal. “If that is everything here I believe we have other business to attend to?”

The two of them leave the room without a glance to Kon and the others. Once they had left and the door has shut, Kon turns his attention on Tim. The human now seems to be blinking at the gemstone in his hand once again, his expression is distant and Kon figures his thoughts must be all over the place. Deciding to leave him be for a moment, Kon turns to Cassie.

“How are you feeling Cass?”

Cassie moves her wrists about and sends him a pensive look. “It feels like I’ve been freed from a massive weight. I can feel my powers but it’s like I can’t activate them in a way. I know they’ll take time to come back but I have missed the feeling of them. I’m just glad to have those things off of me.”

From next to him Bart seems to suddenly explode, he’s been quiet the whole time the sorcerer had been in the room but now it’s like he’s lost all restraint and is releasing all of his energy at once. He bombards Cassie with questions. “Did you see the light around them? Thatwassocool! Whatdidthatfeellike? Diditfeellikeanythingatall? I’veneverseenanythinglikethatbefore!”

Kon rolls his eyes at Bart’s antics. Cassie does the same but is looking rather amused as Bart vibrates on the spot as he talks. While Cassie engages with an excitable Bart Kon turns back to Tim once again to find him in the same position as before.

“Tim? Everything okay?”

The human seems to snap out of his thoughts at the sound of Kon’s voice. His head jerks up and he looks at Kon with wide eyes. “Huh? Oh yeah, yeah everything’s fine. I just hadn’t been expecting this that’s all.”

Kon hums, sending Tim a small smile. “Well, the little bit of extra protection can’t hurt right?”

Tim grins back. “Exactly.”

Bart abruptly appears between them, frantically looking backwards and forwards. “Hey, can we get food now! I’m hungry!”

Sighing Kon shakes his head in amusement and heads for the door. “Yes we can go food now…”

Without waiting Bart zooms past him and out of the room. Kon shares an exasperated look with Cassie before following him but at a much more leisurely pace. Cassie is right beside him and Tim is following closely behind them.

Several more days go by and within that time, all of them have healed a considerable amount. Cassie’s powers have fully returned, Bart is as energetic as ever, Tim’s wounds are finally healed, and Kon himself is feeling almost back to normal. His powers are still weak but they are slowly getting stronger, by this point he now knows only with time will they fully return to what they were before he was poisoned.

Once it had become clear they were ready for active duty again they were given permission to finish their jobs and to return Tim back to Earth. Of course their punishment is far less severe than what it really should have been but Kon is more than grateful that Kal is allowing them to take Tim back home rather than getting someone else to do it.

However just because they got to return Tim back together in their own ship, doesn’t mean they have total freedom like they previously did. Something they had to agree on was to have an appointed escort from the leaders. On the ship it would be Kon, his team, Tim and another Kryptonian who is there to observe them.

Before they leave Krypton they take time in prepping the ship and making sure they have everything they need for an extended amount of time. There wasn’t much to do other than last minute stocking of essential items and final checks of the functions of the ship. Once that was done, they were free to go.

When they enter space the first thing they decided to do is head for Earth to take Tim back. The human has suffered enough and all of them want nothing more other than to see him home safely. They hope they can get to Earth without running into anymore assassins.

On board the ship, Cassie and Kon take control of the dashboard with Cassie navigating and Kon in the pilot’s seat. Cassie sets in the coordinates for Earth and Kon steers them in the right direction.

“You know, I never expected this to happen when we first left all that time ago to do our jobs.” Cassie says glancing over at him.

Kon gives her a side look. It’s the two of them in the cockpit at that moment. The other Kryptonian had taken up a room somewhere and to Kon’s knowledge Bart and Tim were in the common room. “Didn’t expect what? Finding and befriending a human? Getting involved and captured by the League of Assassins? Meeting the Demon’s Head himself? Getting in major trouble with the leaders?”

Cassie shrugs. “All of it I guess.”

“Well it’s certainly been an interesting experience.”

“Yeah, interesting is one way to put it.” Cassie laughs. “I have to admit I didn’t like Tim at first. Out of every species there is in the universe, he had to be a human being from Earth. Since they have their own reputation, I immediately judged him based on that. I don’t think like that anymore, he’s grown on me. Seeing how strong and resilient he is, despite how undeveloped they are, Tim certainly has a different kind of strength. It’s impressive.”

Kon sends Cassie a shocked look. He didn’t know the Amazon felt like that about Tim, and he’s also surprised she’s admitting this to him.

“When did your mind change?” Kon asks curiously. Of course he had known Cassie disliked Tim, it had been easy to see the hostile actions she made towards Tim when they all first met. He and Bart were different, the two of them immediately befriended Tim and wanted to protect him from the start.

“I think the first real time I looked past Tim being a human was when he tackled the Galavent off me when we were on Tordar. He had no reason to help or save me and he did anyway, and in the process of that he got badly wounded from it. That’s when my opinion started to change.”

Kon nods, remembering the incident. It had been one of the first times he saw Tim injured to an extreme extent. Humans were both fragile and durable at the same time.

“I’m glad we’ve been able to keep him alive though we may have accidently almost killed him many times too, but hopefully we can return him home soon.” He comments thoughtfully.

Cassie nods her agreement and the two of them fall silent. They stay at the dashboard for a while as they plan their route to Earth before moving onto planning the route on the way back. Before they can return to Krypton they need to finish off their collection job, so together they organise in what order they would visit each planet they need to so they don’t back track on themselves.

When they find themselves with not a lot else to do, the two of them leave the cockpit and join Bart and Tim in the common room. Their friends were sprawled out on the seats watching something on the entertainment screen. Bart is surrounded by different food items while Tim is wrapped up in a blanket. Finding space between them, he and Cassie sit down and easily join in.

As he watches the screen it occurs Kon that this would probably be the last time they do this. It wouldn’t be too long before they reach Earth, so their time with Tim is now limited. While he’s happy that Tim will be returning home it also makes him feel a little disappointed because Tim will no longer be a presence on the ship.

Perhaps once their punishment is over, he could try and convince Cassie and Bart for them to visit Tim at some point. He’s sure they wouldn’t mind and he hopes Tim would be up for it. But that’ll have to wait and see.

As expected, it doesn’t take long to get to Earth. It still takes a while but it’s definitely not the longest time Kon has had to travel to a planet before. Once they get within proximity of the planet, he calls everyone to the cockpit.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen Earth. Like I’ve heard about it but never have visited before.” Bart comments grinning widely from where he’s standing on Kon’s right. Kon could see how excited the Speedster is because he’s vibrating on the spot.

Kon hums as he stares out the front, the planet now coming into clear view. He’s been to a lot of planets in his time, each one unique and different to the rest but Kon has to say he doesn’t see the appeal in Earth. Sure it’s definitely one of the prettier planets they’ve come across, the green, blue and white colours make it interesting to look at but other than that there isn’t a lot to it.

That’s until he glances at Tim. The human is stood to his left between his and Cassie’s seats staring ahead. His expression is open, the mixture of wonder and awe can easily be seen. This planet may not mean anything to Kon, but it means everything to Tim. It’s his home. It’s where he comes from. Now thinking about it, this probably is the first time Tim’s seen Earth from this angle. To him it really must be a sight to behold.

Kon stops the ship before they enter Earth’s atmosphere. He needs to know where to go to drop Tim home but also allows Tim some extra time to take in the view.

“I’ve seen pictures of what Earth looks like from space, however those are absolutely nothing in comparison than actually seeing it for real. I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m speechless, completely mind blown. This is amazing.”

They all grow quiet as they all observe the planet before them.

When a considerable amount of time has gone by Kon straightens up in his seat and looks at Tim again. The human’s eyes were wide and his mouth is open agape as the continues to stare ahead. “Tim, do you know how to get home? Like what the coordinates are? I want to try and get you as close as possible.”

It takes a moment for Tim to break his gaze away from the view, but even then Tim wasn’t giving Kon all of his attention. His gaze constantly flickers between him and the planet.  

“I uh… well… I don’t know coordinates but I may be able to roughly guide you down?” Tim says sounding unsure. A frown appears on his face. “I, obviously, haven’t done this before and there’s the fact I have no idea on how people are going to react seeing a spaceship come from space. We should be concerned about getting fired at or something.”

“Well…” Cassie starts off, she leans forward and presses a few different controls on the dashboard, “being seen won’t be a problem because we’ll go into camouflage mode. No one will see us enter the atmosphere.”

Tim lets out a breath. “Okay. That’s good. Now give me a moment I need to work out what country we’re seeing at the moment. Is that Africa or South America? Oh wait, Africa is to the right and South America is to the left. Okay, so we need to go more west and up a bit more.”

Gently guiding the ship Kon follows Tim’s vague directions. He keeps glancing at the human waiting for him to tell him when to stop. When they’re over a large green section of the planet, Kon figures this must be land, Tim tells him to stop.

“This is North America.” Tim educates them. “There are seven countries on Earth and this is one of them, this is also where I come from. Now go to the very far East of this bit of land. Only when you get closer to the land itself will I actually be able to tell you where to go.”

Trying to find Tim’s home turns out to be a rather stressful and frustrating process. There’s a lot of manoeuvring to do and a few times they’ve had to back track but as they get closer to the land it slowly becomes easier and when they aren’t too far above it, Tim finally gets a solid sense of direction.

Kon parks the ship down in a place that looks completely abandoned from life, Tim claims it to be empty fields just outside the city he lives in.

He figures Tim knows what’s best for him and Kon goes along with it. Once he’s parked the ship he turns it off and the four of them make their way down to the bottom of the ship so they can finally say goodbye to Tim.

“I want to thank you all for everything that you have done for me. Even when you didn’t have to, I really am grateful for what you’ve done. You saved my life, rescued me when I got captured again, then returned me home. I apologise that you all got in trouble because of me, I wish you didn’t. Thank you.” Tim says earnestly, looking at each of them in turn as he talks.

Bart immediately jumps into reassuring Tim it isn’t his fault and then proceeds to give the human a long speech about meeting him and what their time together has meant. Cassie soon follows up with similar comments and even a joke about how high maintenance humans are.

When it comes to Kon’s turn he has no idea on what to say. Of course he has familiar feelings and thoughts as the other two but repeating them for a third time doesn’t feel right.

“Um… I’m glad we’ve got you home safe,” he starts off with, “some days it may have felt like you never were going to make it home, especially with everything you’ve had to endure but we finally managed to get you here. You’re the first human we met and I’m glad it was you, you’re incredible Tim and have certainly changed opinions on what human beings are like.”

Tim cracks a smile at that. His words still don’t feel enough but Kon has no idea on how to speak what he’s feeling. He watches as Tim wipes at his eyes and as he takes a shaky breath. The actions make Kon frown. “Are you okay?”

The humans laughs lightly, a small smile forming on his face as he rapidly blinks. “I’m fine, just emotional. We’re saying goodbye after all. I owe you all everything and I can’t thank you enough for what you have done. I’ll forever be grateful.”

“It’s an honour to meet you Tim. We won’t forget you either.” Cassie responds softly, smiling at him.

Suddenly Tim’s moving, he steps towards Cassie and throws his arms around her. Cassie freezes on the spot, her arms are spread wide like she doesn’t know where to place them as Tim presses up against her. Before she could do anything however Tim abruptly steps back, now looking embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry for that. I just, well, I really wanted a hug that’s all.”

“I want one!” Bart exclaims. Now this time, it’s Tim who doesn’t get the chance to do anything before Bart is wrapping his arms around Tim. The human stumbles but gets his footing and returns the hug. After a moment they separate and then Kon takes it as an open invitation and hugs Tim himself.

Tim’s arms wrap around him and they stay embraced for a moment longer before parting. Cassie soon repeats the action and the two of them hug properly this time.

When they finally part Tim bends down and grabs a carrier off the floor. Everything he’s accumulated over time while on the ship is in that carrier. There’s some clothes, a few snacks they’d given him and his universal translator remote.

“Oh before I go,” Tim says opening the carrier as he apparently remembers something. He brings out that colourful cube of his and holds it out to Bart. “You can have this. There are hundreds around on Earth but you still haven’t completed it. Keep it and finish it off for me.”

Bart looks shocked but takes the cube out of Tim’s hand and holds it up to his chest. He smiles and thanks Tim.

After that Kon opens the door and Tim turns around to the exit. The three of them stand by as they watch Tim descend down the ramp and onto his homeland. Once he reaches the bottom Tim spins around and looks at them, he sends them one last smile before turning away again and starts walking in a direction. Its only when he’s out of sight that Kon shuts the door, finally saying goodbye forever.

The three of them return to the cockpit with a heavy silence hanging around them. It’s going to take some time to adjust not having Tim with them anymore. At least they all know Tim has returned home safely, he’ll go back living his human life and they’ll go back living theirs.

In a quiet and muted tone Kon announces their next destination and starts the ship up. With a heavy feeling in his chest, Kon guides the ship up and away from Earth and into the void of space.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hi! I love your work!! Can write something where James gets really jealous because Sirius has a secret admirer?? Hogwarts era pleaseee

James would like to say that it started innocently, as most things do, but that would be a lie. In more ways than one. He wasn't sure they'd ever had something start like this, it wasn't particularly innocent, and things for them pretty much never started innocently. They caused problems on purpose and they all knew it. 

It started a little weirdly but mostly harmless. There. That was more honest. 

There was a bouquet of roses at the foot of Sirius's four poster, placed on top of his trunk, and they all froze in the doorway. Rather, James and Sirius froze, and since Remus and Peter were behind them, they had to stop too. 

"What the hell is that," James said flatly. 

"You mean it's not your fault?" Peter asked. 

"Sirius doesn't like roses, duh." 

"Ah yes, how silly of us," Remus said, sharing a look with Peter that James pretended not to see. 

"Okay," Sirius said, walking forward, "but if they're not from you, who are they from?" There was a letter pinned up top, and when he pulled it out, it revealed that the clip holding it in place was in the shape of a heart. "'To the most handsome boy at Hogwarts'," he read as the rest of them entered. Peter helpfully closed the door. "'I love seeing you every day, Sirius. Signed, your secret admirer'." Sirius laughed. "At least they're playing to my ego." 

"You don't even like roses," James muttered darkly, glaring at the bouquet like it had done him wrong. 

"It's the thought that counts," Sirius said, bending down to smell them. "And it's not that I hate roses, they're just not my favourite flower." 

"They're not even in your top five," James said. 

"Why do you know that?" Remus asked, frowning. 

"Maybe that's what their pillow talk is," Peter said. "Flowers and balloons." 

"Wormtail, if you make jokes like that, eventually they'll answer, and I don't want to know the answers." 

James was sullen for the rest of the day, and the next morning, there was a bouquet of red and black dahlias on Sirius's side table, clearly from James. Sirius kept kissing his cheek and grinning like a loon, and if they weren't so happy, Remus would be annoyed by it all. 

*

Sirius got a letter, written with violet ink and containing a love poem. 

Peter was there when he read it, which meant that he saw when Sirius tossed it in the rubbish bin. "You going to tell Prongs?" 

"Nah. He got so twisted up about the letters; I don't want him to worry about it. It's just some third year with a crush."

"Your life, mate." 

Sirius snorted. "You make it sound like James is going to kill me for not telling him." 

"I'm just saying that he gets jealous." 

"Thanks Wormy, I had no idea," Sirius said flatly. 

*

He got another letter. The second letter-- with the first being the one attached to the flowers-- had had a love poem, but it was a famous one that they'd written out to include. This one, as far as Sirius could tell, they'd written themselves. 

It would've been sweet if A. they'd introduced themselves in some way and B. Sirius was not already dating the love of his life. Remus could call it stupid all he liked, but Sirius knew that James was it for him. Besides, they were great together, so it's not like he was suffering or summat. 

He knew that Peter hadn't told James about the second letter because he had been acting like his usual self, not his jealous self. Sirius tossed this one in the bin as well, double checking that the dormitory door was still shut. 

It's not like he was hiding this from James, but he knew it would upset him. No reason to upset him when it was nothing. 

*

"You got another love note," Peter said, flipping through his magazine. 

Sirius had had detention that night, which meant everyone was in the dorm when he got back. 

"Hey Sirius?" James said. "Guess what I want to know?" 

"If you're going to be a shit head about this, I don't want to talk to you at all." 

For a moment, James kept scowling. Then he blew out a breath. "Yeah. Sorry. C'mere?" he asked hopefully, holding out a hand. 

"Yeah, just a sec." He kicked off his shoes and took down his hair, then pulled off his tie. Normally he dressed down hours earlier than this, but with detention and that meeting he'd had with McGonagall, he'd had to be in full uniform all day. He ducked into his four poster to join James, and they pulled the curtains shut. Sirius already had his wand in easy reach, so he hit the curtains with a silencing spell. It was a long established rule for when him and James to do that when they wanted to Talk (Remus and Peter insisted it was a capital 't' kind of talk). 

"I don't get why you didn't tell me," James said. He looked the special mix of hurt and vulnerable that he always did when Sirius got mad at him-- although in Sirius's defense, he was rarely angry with him, and this time it had been more of a warning than anything else. 

"Because you get jealous, and this is nothing," Sirius said, gesturing to the pink envelope. "Would it really make you feel better if I showed it to you every single time so you could get mad?" 

"No, but I- I dunno, I just don't like that you didn't tell me." 

"I probably should have," Sirius admitted. He didn't really know what he'd been thinking. If he'd told James about the second letter, than they could have agreed that Sirius didn't need to tell him about the others since all he did was read them once then toss them-- and he only read them to be nice to whoever the author was, on the off-chance that they ever told him who they were and he needed to respond. "In my defense, I didn't think they'd keep sending this many. Wouldn't most people get bored after the first few?" 

"I wouldn't." 

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but you're in love with me. This is probably some third year that I barely talk to."

"I know," James groaned, falling forward against Sirius pitifully. "That just makes me feel worse. Here I am, getting all tossed because some kid thinks you're pretty. I know you're pretty! I just don't like the way other people notice it." 

Sirius pat him on the back and tried to keep from laughing because he knew that it hurt James's feelings when he did that. Normally, he didn't have the urge to laugh. Anytime it was a jealousy thing though, he found the entire situation ludicrous. He knew that it bothered James to feel like this, but for him, dating someone else had never been an option he truly considered. He'd thought about it, but what would have been the point when he was clearly so happy with James? He knew-- he did, he knew-- that James was just paranoid that he'd find someone 'better'-- James's words, not his-- and leave. "James, Jamie, light of my life," Sirius said, wiggling around a bit to get his hands on either side of James's face and tilt his head up to look him in the eye. "I love you. At no point have I thought about dating this other person, whoever they might be. It could be the entire band The Sex Pistols, and I'd still choose to be here, with you. Okay?" 

"I know," James muttered, still in his guilty-for-feeling-this-way stage. 

"That being said, I do want to read this letter. So how about you give me some cuddles while I do that, and afterwards, we can snog so I can remind you how much I like you." 

James made a face. "Do you have to read it first?" 

"I could always read it after, but I do plan on getting some sleep tonight." Sirius held the letter up, off to the side. "Your choice." 

"Why do you have to read it at all?" 

"Two reasons. One, I like it when people say nice things about me." 

"I say nice things about you." 

"Yes, but you always do that. I want to be drowned in compliments, and one person cannot achieve that. Two, they go to all this trouble, and I can be a bit mean at times, but I'm not going to stomp all over their heart if I can help it. Reading their notes is the least I can do. Besides, they did buy me flowers." 

"Roses," James said, clearly not over that. 

"Would it really make you feel better if they'd gotten me a flower I liked more?" 

"No." 

Sirius leaned forward and kissed him. "Then shut it." He opened the letter. It was similar to the few before it, where they said that Sirius was wonderful and they admired him. "Hell, Jamie, they might not even fancy me, and they just like my brain or summat." 

James snorted. "As if." He glanced down at the letter in worry as Sirius opened it. "Moony and Wormtail said it's not that bad and I'm just overreacting." 

"Which, for us, is a normal reaction." 

James took that for the comfort it was meant to be and smiled at him. "Exactly." 

[spiritualgateway]

We are not impressed

wiritten by Steven Black:

Welcome.

This is mission control. We come with greetings from home and some thoughtful words. When we wrote you in the manual to act like natives on Earth and act just as narrow-minded, alarmist and ignorant as the majority of this planet lives, we did NOT mean this to be a permanent condition. It was only meant to allow you to pass as natives and be accepted as the same. We brought you, the troublemakers and rebels of the universe on board to kick the butts of the powerful on the planet hard, get things moving and wake up the sleeping majority rudely.

You've done a wonderful job of that. We are pleased about that. However, we are not impressed by the fact that a lot of you have been treading water ever since, doing nothing but creating more excitement and spreading some sensational information. No, folks. There was nothing about this in the manual and it wasn't planned that way. Seriously, we are not amused.

A few of you are running around proclaiming, "look, the end is near," and other participants in the cosmic plan suddenly desperately want to be Germans, Austrians, or whatever, and are indulging in national small-mindedness.

Hello, seriously now?

At the beginning some of us found it funny to observe beings, which were always known in the universe for expansion that they were suddenly occupied with shrinking and decreasing. Meanwhile, we don't find it so funny anymore. We find it quite exhausting. Like, by the way, some of the other things you fabricate there on Earth.

For the majority of the planet it is an accustomed, acceptable condition to see themselves only as receivers of information. You can just slap everything around their ears. And it is considered completely normal to simply pass on any information, no matter how negative and fearful it may be. They however should know that they are receiver AND transmitter of information. Please use your consciousness and your mind in the future, when you receive negative information again, before you simply pass it on. That is what a mind is for. You use it. Please be aware that any information should be checked for validity and sense first.

Further, make sure that what you want to pass on is really useful and helpful to other people. As a sender of information, you have a responsibility. Ask yourself, is this really the kind of energy I want to send into the world? It's not about not giving criticism. It's about examining that criticism for validity and usefulness. What is of no use to anyone is a waste of time - and energy.

Whether something is true or not cannot be evaluated by internet. None of you know the people behind who spread such information. You know neither their motives, nor the personal backgrounds to judge something like that. And the anonymous sources they refer to - well, the mainstream media work the same way. They know that, "close intelligence circles said, blah blah blah." Meanwhile, the "alternative media" is starting to work the same way.

Anyone can claim to care about humanity, the people or whatever. Most of the time other interests are at the forefront. Their predictable reaction when they believe this is fear, resistance, powerlessness, anger, hatred. It lowers their personal energy vibration to a little light that may just be blinking.

Did you know that there are more and more "social bots" in your so-called "social networks"? These are small programs that collect and spread information, especially used in political discussions, but also in sports and dating portals. Various political and economic interest groups use this tool to create the "right mood".

The postings are attributed to real people, but in fact various "News" are generated automatically and by machine. These social bots are so adaptable that it is almost impossible to distinguish between human and machine. At least not if you don't bother to check these "news".

Today, hate propaganda and xenophobia is often created by software and scattered on the Internet. There, this "fake news" meets people who, without checking, simply believe it because it seems to fit with their worldview - and off it goes, creating shitstorms. Be very clear about this. Just because something is possible doesn't mean it has to happen. But it can happen if you are not aware that your reaction serves the interests of power groups that are masters in creating enemy images and are very adept at turning people against each other.

There is a war going on on your planet for the information interpretation sovereignty, because "the power behind the throne" is fighting for its survival. Hereby it is tried to direct your attention and to areas which are far away from your personal life. Population management means arousing fears, reducing positive energies, injecting powerlessness and victim consciousness, and psychologically overwhelming the citizen in order to channel a reaction of anger, indignation, rejection. If consciousness has been successfully directed to a situation with a lot of information, some of it contradictory, and the individual is confused, the desired reaction occurs.

Stirring up trouble and waking up are only a tiny part of the multi-step plan, the main part is that you come back into your full power and demonstrate to the earthlings how to radiate from within. You seem to have completely skimmed over this chapter, or, knowing you, you didn't read it at all. This is bad. For us and for you. Not to mention the majority of the planet. All this 3 D actionism is starting to worry us. We get the strong impression that some of you are stuck in the middle of the process.

You are just repeating the information education that we started since the 1990s. All the information about the elite of this planet, mental manipulation, pharma, military, politics, wars, etc., served a purpose, but really should not be used for you to go here and point fingers at the supposed bad guys. Nor should you fight against them. We were hoping you would see the bigger picture in this. By processing the information given and really getting the point in what it's all about - which is you, personally - and realizing how the planet is controlled so YOU could stop falling for it and raise your personal vibration. Okay, didn't work so well, at least not for many of you. 

Please try to understand that the power behind the "official power", basically profits from hatred, anger, powerlessness, even if this hatred may be directed against them themselves, or various political, economic interests in which they have invested and are involved. Because anger, fear, rage, hatred, powerlessness, victim consciousness and helplessness are very low vibrating energy fields, the more people are stuck in it, the bigger the field and the easier it is to maintain the "status quo" and carry out their plans.

The fear of a world war and/or an irrational religious war of course works very much into their hands. This is how the old energy works, always has and it is now fighting for survive. Scattering fear, uncertainty and doubt are a powerful weapon in the hands of those who for millennia have power over the planet.

In the course of the further step ignition it comes now to the intensified dissolution of your energetic barriers, within their multi-dimensional bodies. You have probably already noticed that they are becoming more permeable. That is why these fear-inducing messages have such an impact on you. And if you do not make an effort to clear your emotional body, you may not succeed in overcoming the low vibrational fields. Because these go into resonance with repressed and hidden contents IN your own consciousness and your emotional field.

You are here to raise these fields. Since we cannot need energetic blockages, or various subtle constructs that block the energies we send to your material body and Mother Earth through YOU. Because if you are not free of these blockages, the soul parts and energies that we send to you for support keep coming back to us. We send in, it comes back. We send in, it comes back. We find this annoying, constantly operating in repeat mode without getting anywhere. So please, finally take care of it.

We are very aware that you are tired and very disillusioned. We told you at the beginning - going to Earth is one of the hardest jobs in the universe. But we also know you can still do it, and you will. Apart from that, unfortunately, there is no alternative. There is only you. You are all we have and we put all our trust in you - still, because we have no other choice.

While the denial of the facts staggers along its peak, the biosphere contains less and less oxygen, the food is enriched with more and more toxins and the ecological balance mutates to a term that mocks every serious description. However, there are no other special forces which we could send to mankind to hold it back from the abyss of self-destruction. They are on their own. You all knew this before and now we remind you again of the briefing that you found so boring.

They were so full of themselves and thought it would be a piece of cake to take care  and clean up on Earth. But the 3 D Matrix had them all under its spell. Unpleasant surprise, isn't it? In our experience, it takes a good 30-50 Earth years to fight your way through it. We gave you that time, but believe us - if you had paid more attention during the briefing and read the manual or at least just the emergency edition, you would have been spared a lot. Hopefully, that will teach you a lesson for the next time.

Please be aware, we need you! Mankind needs you, the earth needs you. And we have heard your personal calls for more help, which you sent to us on behalf of the people. But since this is probably a big misunderstanding on your part, we would like to remind you of another section of the briefing:

YOU are the help you are calling for! You and all other suicidal volunteers ARE the help we sent!

Pretending now that you are not in charge and hoping others will do the job will not look good on your leadership record. And demanding that God finally step in and fix this problem (yes, we heard that exactly) gives some of you an even less appealing report card. People caused the problems, people need to solve them too. Besides, God is at present fully occupied with the re - organization of universe and the creation of new codes and must not be disturbed (HE has given us personally to understand this).

You are on earth. You are responsible. You wanted the job and YOU also got it. So you make now obligingly something halfway reasonable from it.

Your present reality on earth looks honestly quite shitty. And that is actually good and wakes you up. There are truly more uplifting images we can imagine than watching a world afflicted by madness, whose social, economic and political world structure is falling apart, die. But that, of course, is what it's all about - dying. Your old, familiar, accustomed world is dying and there is nothing you can do about it. But many of you still try to stubbornly hold on to the old reality - and stop the dying process.

Things are changing, sometimes tremendously and in ways that none of you can oversee. However, you can help shape the way it happens. How chaotic it becomes is entirely in your hands. Some helpful points in this regard, for your kind attention:

    Keep a little distance from the free will of others and tame your spiritual ambition. Or best of all, direct the energy of your ambition toward the avoidance of spiritual ambition.

    If someone is desperate to spin the wheel, don't stop him. Cheer him on, because only a crash landing will bring him back to his senses.

    Please give up your remaining victim attitude and switch into the responsible creator mode. We certainly understand and know from our own earth experience how difficult it can be to discard cherished worries and various notions of how small and helpless you are. It's so terribly convenient to rant about everything and name culprits, there's no need to get off your own butt.

    Spread courage and optimism, no matter how little it may seem to be justified - but appearances are deceptive, they are always blinding. NOTHING is as it appears to be.

    Please stop trying to dissolve your ego. Instead, see to it that you get a reasonably sane ego that is at peace with itself. You cannot dissolve your ego, you can only split it off. And that is not something we would like to see in you. "The ego" is your vehicle through which you were able to have an experience in the first place.

    Please do not pretend that you are invulnerable and untouchable. What is happening here hurts, allow that pain. Meet the shadows inside you, integrate and digest these inner shadows. This will hurt, real shadow work breaks you open. This is a good thing and prevents the pain inside from forming into a weapon that turns against you.

    Stay with yourself even when the world around you seems to be going crazy. Sweep outside your own front door, there is plenty to do there.

    Rise above the low fields and try to wring something good out of your life.

Never forget that you are a star child who has successfully completed this task in many corners of the galaxy. Earth may be a particularly stubborn nut to crack, but you will crack that nut. In any case, giving up is not an option. Please pull yourself together and hold out, that would be even nicer.

Come on, impress yourself! Show us who you are and please stop playing the tourist!

 Written in the style of E.T. 101.

Nothing you read here is THE truth. It is my truth, my perception and how I see things – now, in this moment.

Until next time same station ..

THE INFORMATION SPACE

[rebelscum-2187]

So after nearly 22 years of life on this planet, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am high functioning autistic. I believe I fell through the cracks of an early diagnosis for the following reasons:

1.) I am Female (I learned how to mask myself very early on)

2.) I have a gifted IQ (above 130) and was classified as such in 4th grade so no one considered that I could be both ASD and intellectually gifted.

I am in the beginning stages of unmasking and am currently seeking an official diagnosis. Right now, I’m trying to write down everything I know about my neurodivergent experience so here’s a list of things I’ve experienced and believe to be relevant. If you can relate or you understand please comment and share! I’m new to this community and it feels so good to finally meet people who understand and can relate. Ok, Here we go.

“So the general population doesn’t memorize scripts to movies or watch the same one every day for a year?”

“People think it’s weird that I prefer to have subtitles on when I watch stuff, even though I don’t have damaged hearing”

“I watch movies with subtitles because I won’t understand what’s said if I don’t read it. I have no hearing issues.”

“I cannot hear/understand someone if I have one ear bud in and one out. Too much sensory input at once.”

“I thought I had a hearing deficit because I literally could not understand people at church or parties or other places with a lot of background noise, and I was so confused when they told me my hearing was normal.”

“I love star wars. Not just love but I could tell you what planet each character is from and what kind of ship they use, what model droid that one is and I will gladly talk about it all day if you let me. Everyone now gets me Star Wars stuff for my birthday and holidays”

“Eye contact is so uncomfortable for me that sometimes it ‘burns’ to maintain it, but then I overcompensate and stare too intensely. Over the years, being female, I’ve forced myself to make eye contact for a certain number of seconds and then look away a certain number of seconds but I’m concentrating so hard on that, that I don’t remember anything that was said to me.”

“Giving me verbal directions is a special kind of hell. I need it written down.”

“I can memorize pictures of things and exactly where every kid sat in my 10th grade US history class as well as my 9th grade geometry class.”

“I never fit in anywhere, in my childhood, most of my adolescence, except the swim team and my new church.”

“Team sports are the worst. I can’t communicate fast enough, I’m bad with hand eye coordination and keeping track of a ball. I excelled in individual sports and fell in love with swimming.”

“I often found it much easier to make friends with older kids because I could have intelligent conversations with them and their good social skills could make up for my lack of social skills.”

“But, I had a few friends that were considerably younger who I could still play imaginatively with dolls when I was 13 and one particular friend was 9. I had a lot of trouble getting a long with her sister who was the same age as me.”

“It physically pains me to hear someone mispronounce a word, spell something wrong, or make a grammatical mistake. I corrected my cousin A LOT when we were kids, she frequently got mad and I couldn’t understand why. My grandma would tell me to stop because correcting people is rude.”

“One of my special interests as a kid was dolphins. I was 5-6 years old and I remember being so excited when my mom let me check out like 10 books from the library and I read them quickly and multiple times.”

“I corrected a teacher one time about dolphins. She said dolphins weren’t whales and I knew FOR A FACT that ‘dolphins were a type of small whale’ because I read it in one of my books. She laughed at me and so did the rest of the class and I felt stupid even though I was right. This led to me suppressing my knowledge and real self and ultimately more masking.”

“As per that last one, my memory is impeccable.”

“I had another special interest in dogs when I got a bit older. My mom bought me a book with every kind of breed of dog, where they came from, their temperament, their size, everything. I can still, to this day, tell you the breed of dog just by looking at it.”

“I always wanted a best friend but never had one. I had groups of friends but never someone who would call me their best friend. When I got a boyfriend in high school, I was so excited because he called me his best friend and he was mine and I finally had that feeling reciprocated. He also had a gifted IQ and dyslexia, ADHD and a few other things so we understood each other quite well.”

“I can’t tell if someone is flirting with me because I can’t read between the lines. I also don’t know how to flirt because if I like a guy too much I get soooo nervous and I stumble over my words and it’s a disaster.”

“When I liked this guy (last year, 2019) I would freeze up so bad when I talked to him that I rehearsed every conversation I wanted to have with him so I wouldn’t mess it up. I would write topics in the notes section of my phone before hanging out with him so I’d remember what to ask him. It made for very awkward and forced conversations and probably drove him away.”

“Sarcasm and jokes almost always go over my head. The boyfriend I had in high school was very funny and outgoing but used a lot of sarcasm and it always caused disagreements because I took him seriously when he was being sarcastic.”

“I talk slowly and very monotone.”

“I have no difficulty reading in my head and can read/comprehend it well, but reading aloud is difficult and I often stumble over words and mess up.”

“I need directions repeated multiple times before I understand.”

“I went to the beach to hang out with some church friends yesterday. They all play spike ball and are so confused as to why I sit there and don’t play. I’ve tried playing spike ball but it involves way too much hand eye coordination and I’m so bad at it that it’s embarrassing. So I don’t play.”

“That same night, a group of them said ‘let’s play uno!’ And I was so happy to play something familiar that didn’t involve a lot of coordination. Then they said ‘we’re playing SPICY uno, right?’ And immediately my heart sank because I knew they were playing a different way that I wasn’t familiar with. Again, receiving verbal directions was hell and I didn’t understand it. I was so bad at it and wasn’t getting it, and in the middle of the game I had the urge to cry. I wanted to cry because I couldn’t even get this right. I suppressed the urge, of course, so they wouldn’t think I was even more weird than the already suspected. Another group of people that I wouldn’t fit in with.”

“Making friends has always been so difficult. Once I make a good friend I hang on to them for as long as possible even if they’re not very nice because I’m scared I’ll have to make a new one if I lose them. And we all know how hard making new friends is for me.”

“I’m a perfectionist. Especially with my art projects. When I took a painting class I realized I do it the wrong way. You’re supposed to paint layer by layer over the entire canvas and focus on small details at the very end. I work on one small area at a time and do small details too soon. I often spend way too much time on small details before I realize that the larger shape of the object isn’t proportionate and then it’s too late.”

“I won’t even attempt tasks if I know I can’t do them perfectly.”

“I have perfect pitch. I don’t know if that has anything to do with autism or that I just started music lessons when I was young. I can tune instruments perfectly without a tuner or reference note and I never understood why my orchestra teacher had me play the A key on the piano over and over again while she walked around and tuned everyone’s instruments when I could do it without any reference. I can hear it in my head.”

“When my parents got me a keyboard at age 7-8, they were impressed because I could sit down, without listening to any song and find the notes of a song I liked by ear. I still do that today but my piano is very out of tune and it bothers me.”

“Autistic boys tend to isolate and not care about concealing their stims or weird behavior but girls don’t. I am a ‘loner’ and always have been but I want so badly to belong and have friends and socialize, but I’ve always been so bad at it that I strike out every time. I often drink at social gatherings because it helps me loosen up and talk more freely. I guess it helps me lose the mask for a while.”

“I HATE people touching me. I’ve always hated it and still hate it to this day unless it’s someone I’m super comfortable with. I’ve been told I have the ‘dead fish hand shake’ and I’m an awkward hugger. My friend picked me up from behind and carried me for a few seconds because we were all goofing off and having fun but afterwards I was so mad at him I got really quiet and didn’t talk for a while. I told him later on the ride home that if he did that again I would slap him. “

“Everyone thinks it’s weird that I don’t like touching people, and some of my friends who also don’t like touching people were abused and I always thought, ‘there had to be a reason, maybe I was abused as a kid and repressed it.’ It’s been so long and I’ve finally realized that maybe it’s just because I have Aspergers or ASD. “

“When I make sarcastic remarks or jokes I often have to clarify because I say them in such a monotone way that people think I’m serious.”

“I’ve always joked that I’m just really clumsy and uncoordinated, and chalked it up to being tall and lanky. That’s why swimming was the perfect sport for me. Little to no risk of injury and not much hand eye coordination needed to be good at it. Just hours of practice, technique and endurance.”

“I also injure myself quite a lot because I’m ‘a klutz.’”

“Stims: I scratch my head and then smell my fingers and I will do this for hours if I am able (I know that one is weird so I only do it at home) popping my knuckles a ridiculous amount of times when I feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do with my hands. I twirl my hair constantly (that one is pretty socially acceptable so I do it in class nonstop). I tap my foot or bounce my leg, I make weird facial expressions and forget to hide those. People notice but they often think it’s funny because I’ll make a face if someone says something dumb and make an expression that people seem to relate to. I scrunch my nose if I’m uncomfortable or just whenever.”

Special interests: Star Wars, Disney (I know every word to every Disney song and I watch animated Disney movies over and over again, like literally every night) dolphins, the ocean, dogs, theology/the Bible.

“With my art work, and other things, I will get so focused on a painting that I will work non stop for 8-9 hours (all day basically) and not eat because I’m so focused that I forget to eat.”

“I think I slur my words a lot and sometimes my friends will laugh and be like ‘did you just say ____.?!?!’And I’ll clarify and they will continue laughing and say ‘oh it sounded like you said this.’ I hate when that happens.”

“Loud noises really bother me. I jump if I hear an unexpected loud noise and I hate people yelling, even if it’s not directed at me, it makes me want to cry. “

“I loved the color blue so much as a kid (I still do) but my entire wardrobe was basically different shades of blue t-shirts. I also only ever wore baggy t-shirts and baggy cargo shorts (I kinda dressed like a boy) because it was comfortable and I didn’t like getting comments if I looked “cute today”. I hated the attention. I also never ever wore my hair down to school. It always had to be up in a tight pony tail. I still don’t like my hair being in my face to this day and wear it up almost every day.”

“The other day, I was hanging out with a friend and she was trying to tell a story but I kept getting distracted and interrupting her. She said, ‘Emily, you kind of interrupt people a lot.’ At first I was hurt, but then I realized it’s not entirely my fault and it’s an autistic thing.”

“I mask so much that I have rehearsed responses to social interactions and will often get so nervous or start speaking from the script before I realize I’ve said the wrong response. Of course I’ll think about it all day after that and think of ‘well great, so and so thinks I’m weird now.’”

[cyteau]

the darknight hero’s conquest ღ

  ღ  featuring

ღ diluc, kaeya, jean, canteu (OC), venti, klee, uvia (OC)

ღ word count : 1871

ღ warnings

ღ  slight NSFW, angst in chapter 2

ღ summary

you and diluc have been fighting partners (and lovers) ever since you two became commission partners. one day you and diluc have been sent on a commission that may be your last.. 

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿ 

PAST

Diluc has always been a stern man every since the death of his father. But ever since he met you, that changed. It was about 2 years ago when you and Diluc first met. You were sent on a commission to Liyue by Katheryne to take down some ruin guards. You’d always offer to go alone on the commissions, but that day was different. Katheryne introduced a tall, slender man with bright red hair. “This is Diluc, he will be accompanying you on your commissions from now on.” she says. You were thinking, why do I need a commission partner? But you didn’t bother to ask her why. Instead, me and Diluc went on the commission together and walked all the way to Liyue. Finally, we reached our destination. “Try not to get in my way.” you mumble. Both of you went charging after the ruin guards. You split up and took on each and every one of them. After you were done with the ruin guards, a chest appears before your eyes. You offer the chest to Diluc since he helped you, but Diluc insisted that you take it. You both ended up splitting the things in the chest. You two became commission partners ever since that day, and now you wish you can relive it. 

PRESENT

It was a cold day of spring. You were relaxing at Diluc’s tavern, Angel’s Share. It was minutes before closing time. You had just told Diluc that you were babysitting Klee because Albedo was doing albedo things. So you couldn’t hang out with him at the time. He said it was fine anyways, the man’s extremely busy. The only time you might even see Diluc is at the tavern or during commissions. You got rather used to not seeing him often and you don’t blame him either. You were pretty busy too. You babysit Klee whenever Albedo is busy, which is pretty common. So Klee would always be at your house. You haven’t been getting any commissions lately, but you didn’t feel like bothering Katheryne about it. You took one last sip of your juice and you told Diluc you were heading home to go make some food for Klee. On your way home, you decide to stop by the Adventurer’s Guild and talk to Katheryne. You asked if she had any commissions to do since you hadn’t been notified on any. Katheryne simply said no. You told her to keep you reminded. You head home to see Klee waiting at the door, immediately hugging you. Klee was always like a little sister to you. “Y/N! I missed you!”  

 You go to the kitchen holding Klee in your arms. You started to make Klee’s favorite, Fish-Flavored Toast (I know that sounds disgusting). You and Klee eat together then get ready for the night. At 4 AM at night, there was loud banging at the door. You grab your polearm getting ready the stab the hell out of whoever just woke you up. When you opened the door, your eyes widened. It was Katheryne! She look terrified and worried. “Y/N! There’s something really important I need to tell you!” She blurted out. She looked like she was about to fall over dead. “What’s so important, its 4 AM!” you said with a furious look on your face. “There’s a commission ready for you and Diluc, but it’s very dangerous.” she said handing me a paper with details on the commission. Your eyes widen. You have gotten a commission to go to Dragonspine. You’ve never gotten a commission from there before. It was too dangerous because of the strong monsters and the sheer cold that could drain your energy faster than you can run. Now you see why she was scared. You told Katheryne that you will talk to her tomorrow, but for now she can just go home. The next morning, you wake Klee early to go get all the things you need for the commission, including Diluc. 

You have to take Klee because you were probably going to be gone for the whole day, and you didn’t want to leave her alone at your house. You decided to head to Good Hunter to pick up some food first. Then you went to Venti to tell him about the commission. He offered to come with you but you immediately decline and only asked for his help. You asked him if he can watch and take care of Klee while you were gone. He accepted. Venti already knew where you lived and your number since you two are best friends. You then tell Venti to call if something happens to him, or Klee. You then wave Venti and Klee goodbye. You go to Canteu, a woman that specializes in potions and who is also your childhood friend. You ask and pay Canteu for a couple of healing potions. She give’s you them for free since your going to Dragonspine. She tells you to be careful, you don’t know what the hell your going to face. Finally, you were on your way to find Diluc. Your sure that Diluc has gotten the same surprise from Katheryne. You find Diluc at Angel’s Share and inform him about the commission. He tells you that he already knows. You insist both of you go now instead of wasting anymore time. He agrees. 

You are both now in Dragonspine. You are both wearing heavy coats because you don’t want the sheer cold to drain your energy. You were distinctly told to go up the mountain to the summit. On your way up to the summit, there were strong monsters you both had to fight. You had to use some of the healing potion’s to heal you and Diluc’s wound’s from the journey on. Finally, you two reached the summit. You don’t exactly know where the monster you were sent to fight was until you laid eyes on four frostarm lawachurls, and a couple of Fatui Cicin mages. You insisted to go after the lawachurls while Diluc handles the mages. While you two were busy fighting, the sheer cold has gotten to both of you causing your energy to drain bit by bit without you knowing. The mages were Electro, so every spell they hit on you costed a super conduct reaction. You managed to take down one lawachurn but it seemed like your strength was immediately failing you. Right when Diluc finishes off the last mage, you fall into paralyzation due to sheer cold. Before Diluc can rush over, you were attacked all at once by the lawachurls. Blood gushing into the air from Diluc’s eyes. Diluc had the most terrified look on his eyes. Immediately, he ran as fast as he could and killed all the lawachurls in a instant. There, he looked down at your body. 

Covered in blood, with your polearm in your hand. “Y/N! Stay with me!” Diluc shouted out, but he sounded far away. You wanted to tell him that you were okay but you just couldn’t lie to yourself, not in this situation. You look down to Diluc holding your hand, and holding his claymore in his other. You see tears falling down from his eyes as he firmly grasps your hand. You see another lawachurl running towards you and Diluc. You try to warn him but still can’t. You get up and somehow manage to get out of paralyzation and use the last of your energy to kill the lawachurl while holding Diluc back from helping. You collapse to the ground and the shine in your eyes start to fade, and your skin starts to become an unruly pale shade. Diluc, holding your half dead body kept on crying. Finally, you managed to get some words out. “Diluc, please dont cry. Your my Darknight Hero..” Suddenly, your hands become limp. Diluc then check’s your pulse. You are dead. Gone from the world. All you wanted was to be with the people you love. 

Diluc didn’t give 8 archons about the commission, all he wanted to do was get you to a hospital. Klee, Jean, Kaeya, Albedo, Venti, Canteu, everyone you cared about was there beside you in the hospital crying. You were dead. They couldn’t accept that. You saw a bright light. Then you saw a woman. “Am I dead?” you ask with hesitation. “No, you are not  dead yet.” the woman said. “My name is Uvia, the god of Life and Death.” She explained how im supposed to choose a path, Life or Death. “Before you can choose, you need to see your life flash before your eyes.” she said. And then at that moment, my life actually flashed before my eyes. I saw a vision of all of my memories up till now. I immediately started to cry, finding out how precious my life was. “You are the only person who get’s to make a Life or Death decision. I told Uvia that I wasn’t ready to die yet. Not yet. Never yet. I was still young and there was so much things that I haven’t done with my life yet. So I walked down memory lane one last time, then went on the the Life Path. The Life path was glistening and filled with light, while the Death Path was filled with dark and somber. Uvia told you that they will meet again. You immediately panicked because you thought she meant that you would die and make this decision again. Before going into the Life path, you ask Uvia how she knew you. She told you that she’s been watching you ever since you were born, and you cannot die. 

Before you can even say anything else or hesitate there was a sudden flash of light before your eyes. Your vision was blurry for a second but once it adjusted, you look around the room. Your eyes lock onto a young woman wearing what’s looks like a lab coat. The woman drops her tablet and yells as loud as she can when she sees me. Jean then starts to rush into the room and asked the woman, “What’s wrong?!” The woman pointed at me as I looked at Jean. Jean was horrified. She looked speechless. She ran out of the room. “Everyone! Y/N IS ALIVE!” I saw Diluc ran into the room and like Jean, was horrified. The last Diluc knew was that you had no pulse before. He asks the woman what had happened and the woman shows him her tablet. He looks completely shocked. The woman than turned her tablet for you to see. Your eyes widened. It was a complete flatline. He was right, you were dead.

to be continued

[pangtasias-atelier]

How about this: Felix has been eating cake very often, everyone has told him, he can't stop. He'll grow bigger and will realize that no matter how much he trains he cannot recover his figure, on the contrary everything gets worse. Someone will tell him it's out of control. Felix will refuse. Sudenly he feels is about to burst and BOOM. It was a dream. He had fallen asleep without finishing his cake. He will move it away in anger "Im NOT out of control" After a few minutes, he will eat it. Ty~ :3

This one got really long omg. And after shortening down the ideas I had for the other Blue Lions’ interactions lol

But! Another one I’m happy how it came out. Now I just wish I actually bettered myself and took like actual writing lessons but eh, focusing on other stuff right now.(Still wanna make sure I’m not fucking up and mixing tenses tho)

This was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy!! Especially since you’ve made a bunch of good FE fats for us and thank you for that!~

___________________

Felix doesn't know how it started, maybe it was a spell, new ingredients, a better chef, but it was something. Anything. Anything but his own fault.

All of a sudden his innate disdain for cake was replaced with a wanton need for it. Everyday, he needed some of it to satisfy his insatiable cravings for it. 

And despite the signs all pointing to a clearly obvious problem, Felix was the only one who refused to see it. Even as a bit of pudge began to form on his thin body.

The first had been Annette. 

On a visit to House Fraldarius, the day had been spent in relative uneventfulness, the day consumed with talks about their territories. It was upon dinner that the mood had changed.

Unable to control her expression, the puzzlement displayed on her face on a visit to House Fraldarius is evident to Felix, his features tightening in a scowl.

"Just say whatever it is your thinking instead of keeping it to yourself like those mindless gossipers," Felix spits out, already scowling.

"I'm surprised to see you of all people eating cake, Felix," Annette smiles at him. 

Felix responds with a scowl, his grip tightening. His slice of cake sits nearly finished, Felix almost devouring it entirely if it hadn't been for Annette interrupting him.

"You always hated the stuff,"

"Well, opinions change," Unwilling to deal with any comments over his shameful new preference for the decadent sweets, Felix simply stands up and walks away with his plate in hand.

It takes a couple of hours when he's cooled down from the conversation for him to leave his room. Unfortunately, despite the cover of night, he encounters Annette in the training grounds.

Casting a simple wind spell, the rush of air still flows faster than it should, both of their clothes willowing in the rapid gusts. 

Felix catches the glint of metal against the wall, Crusher resting. Deciding to head back, Annette turns around, face neutral. Caught, Felix sighs, resulting with his hand on his hip.

"I overreacted, what else do you want me to say?"

"An apology would be a nice start," Closing her tome, Annette wipes the sweat off her forehead, her hair disheveled. Grabbing Crusher, Felix forces himself to not visibly react at the way she easily grabs it and carries it.

"Sure, I'm sorry for whatever I did," Felix grumbles. Crossing his arms on his chest and resting on the heels of his feet, Felix makes out the way Annette's eyes quickly drift down this time before they don't, Annette making sure to be less obvious. 

“Don’t let it get out of control,” Annette offers, smiling.

Felix doesn't ask her what else she wants to say this time, biting his tongue back and blushing.

The second had been Ingrid.

The embarrassment of Annette noticing his slight paunch apparently hadn't been enough shame for Felix, his constant devouring of cake only worsening.

The small bump for a stomach grew into a large swell, clothes needing an upsizing by his tailors. His flat, sightly defined chest filled out with small flabby bumps. Yet it was his lower half that grew larger in proportion. His thighs became swaddled with a generous portion of overlapping fat, his graceful movements now slower and clunkier. The rise of his ass was a reminder to his size, his sizeable asset jostling about with each hefty waddle. 

Annoyed with having a visitor so soon again, Ingrid's usual calm disposition was relatively easy to deal with. As long as he didn't raise his own temper, her's wouldn't rise either. 

Except Ingrid had no sense of calmness, immediately going to fretting over Felix.

Felix who had been so agile and active. Felix who hated cake. Felix who had been 

"You do know you have a problem, right?" Ingrid asks over dinner, her eyes on Felix's plate of food, the portion much larger than before. The clanking of his fork on his plate only prompts Ingrid to speak more. “Of course you don’t,” Ingrid sighs. “You’re too busy criticising others and their issues that you don’t even see your own,”

“I don’t have a problem,” Felix leans back into his chair before he feels the heft of his own body resting on him, Felix sitting upright once again. Yet even in that position he feels the way his stomach seeps onto his thighs. 

“Really Felix?” Ingrid frowns, pushing her hair to the side. 

“I can work it off,” Felix gives in, only partially.

“Then you would have already,” Ingrid fights back. “It’s getting out of control,”

Yet no matter how much further she goes, Felix refuses to admit his issue. And so by the time Ingrid’s entourage and ride arrives, she finds it far better to simply leave and free herself of Felix’s own stubbornness than to deal with even more back and forth arguments.

Nothing learned, Felix pays no heed to Ingrid’s words, cake far more important. Any kind he could get his greedy hands on would do. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry shortcake, cheesecake, lemon, regardless of the flavour, Felix felt the need to devour it all the same. 

His sense of time lessening, the only truly memorable moments was when he was stuffing himself with the delicious sweet contents of cake.

His waistline suffering for it, his own remarks of training off the extra abundant inches off his waist never came. Soon, walking became more difficult, chairs became too weak, doors too narrow, clothes too revealing. To Felix, everything else had an issue except himself. Even as he continued to grow fatter and fatter.

Most likely through Ingrid’s meddling, soon other former members of the Blue Lions came to check up on him. 

The third had been Mercedes. 

Her charitable nature and nice sensibility had led to her coddling him on her first day, Mercedes even baking a cake for Felix. That had apparently been a test, Felix failing it when he finished it in one sitting. Her kind coddling was only met with more detest on Felix’s end. 

Felix undeniably fat, his poorly fitting outfit was only more cause of concern on Mercedes’ end. Instead he had merely  thanked her for the cake before waddling away, his shelf of an ass wobbling behind him all the while.

The fourth and fifth had been Ashe and Dedue together.

The two specializing in cooking, Ashe’s own successful inn clearly showed on his short frame, Ashe containing a paunch. Dedue was the same as ever, his figure massively built and stacked.

Whereas Ashe was at most chubby, Felix was obese, his titanic rolls swaddling his body, his cheeks marring his own scowl and softening it. And instead of hedding both of their concerns, all Felix had were retorts to Ashe’s own size. 

The two didn’t remain long, Felix targeting both Ashe and Dedue for Ashe’s newfound weight alongside both no longer having the patience meant Felix had been free of their torment. 

Some dedication to his training grounds, and he’ll easily work off the extra weight is what Felix clings on to.

But those days never arrive, Felix happily gorging himself on cake and nothing but cake.

The sixth had been Dimitri.

Finally able to take the chance to get away from his own dealings as King of Fhirdiad, Dimitri instead had to deal with an annoyed Felix. Only a week after Ashe and Dedue’s visit, Felix had overall been the same out of shape angry person. 

Dimitri a passionate person, his scathing remarks had been the only ones to get Felix to shut up and listen. Pointing out Felix’s need for three chairs at the table, if he even bothered to walk instead of eating in his room, the way his body was inundated with rolls making even the simplest of tasks a chore for him to pull off, his increasing appetite that only would worsen with time. Dimitri had actually even made Felix use his training grounds for the first time since Felix could even see past his mountain, roll riddled gut. 

The pathetic speed Felix swung his sword only made Dimitri worry more, Felix struggling to even get a proper grip with his bingo wingo arms pressing against the side of his moobs. Felix’s complaints and asks for a break were ignored by Dimitri, forcing his friend to keep going. 

By the time Dimitri had left the next day, he left with hopes for Felix, Felix grumbling yet thankful for talking sense into him.

Except after a couple days, Felix’s own inability to control his appetite left him giving up, Felix merely reverting back to his gluttonous lazy self.

The seventh and last had been Sylvain.

Felix so far gone in his ravenous ways, the last vestiges of his own mobility was apparent. Sylvain had whistled upon sighting Felix, eyes wide open, unable to believe it himself. 

Where Dimitri embarrassed Felix to help him, Sylvain had done the opposite. Ridiculing Felix, Sylvain did it with the intention of putting him down. 

Grabbing Felix and forcing him to walk, Felix sweating and waddling by his side while he heaved and puffed all the while in between curses, Sylvain would tire him out only to leave him alone, Felix falling down to the floor with a resounding crash and staying there. Forcing him to sit on a single chair instead of the necessary four so he’d crush yet another piece of furniture. Pushing him into too narrow doorways only to leave him stuck inside, Felix too fat and wide to get through or push himself out. Barraging Felix’s entire body with powerful slaps to make his engorged body shake as if an earthquake had just occured.

Sylvain’s cruel methods had only reinforced the subconscious idea in Felix’s brain of why even bother. Unfortunately for Felix, Sylvain had stayed the longest, a month of disparaging remarks and acts endured by Felix. Sylvain had even left without a word, disappearing in the night.

Unwilling to act and far too fat to do so, Felix’s only companion was the increasing amounts of cake he devoured each day. The ability to one day quit and lose all of his weight always in the back of his mind, said day never came, Felix reaching immobility before he even had time to consider the possibility. Not that he ever would consider it, Felix too stubborn to think he’d let himself go this far. 

A feeding tube in his room, Felix hadn;t even remembered asking for such a thing, his mind in a constant haze of cake. Barely a couple hours after lunch, Felix was already on his fifth meal. Each lasting an hour, he only paused intermittently for a few minutes, his hunger quickly coming back. 

Bed completely covered in his own rolls, Felix can feel all his weight press down on him from lying on his back. Only able to stare at his tube and the ceiling, wiggling his fingers and toes are the only other things for him to do besides eating or sleeping. His ass encapsulating the bed and reaching the floor, Felix pays it no mind, focusing instead on guzzling the cake flavored whatever, Felix even uncaring about what it is he’s devouring. 

Reaching a full state, Felix mumbles past the tube, his incoherent words a jumble. Expecting the tube to turn off, it remains on, filling his stomach with a torrent of cake. Increasing his complaints, the only response is his feeding tube picking up in speed, Felix gurgling as he;s forced to devour it all. Chugging it, Felix feels himself expanding.

Stomach rising in the air and cascading all around like melted vanilla ice cream, his breasts flow and sink back down towards his face, his numerous neck rolls meeting them head on. His thighs become even more dimpled, the couch sized appendages forced even wider to accommodate the rapidly filling thighs as they grow larger and wider. His ass pushes him high in the air, Felix groaning as his large room becomes even more cramped, his now blob like body filling it.

His feeding continues, Felix groans, his eyes half lidded as he continues to guzzle. His stomach stiff, the stuffed state of it feels oddly relaxing, Felix giving in to the tube. Suckling it, Felix complains as his body finally reaches the edge of his room, fat reaching from corner to corner. Huffing,the cramped and compressed nature of it makes him complain. Body seemingly one large blob with no definition, joints seemingly improbable, the walls begin to crack and tumble as Felix grows ever fatter,his eyes even hard to keep open with so much fat clinging to his body. The floor even cracking underneath him, it takes no time for the whole area to explode, Felix’s body rushing out like a dam breaking.

Jolting up in his chair, Felix hisses as he hits his arm against his table. 

Alone in his room, Felix heaves as he checks himself. Nightclothes on, a simple pair of shorts and a shirt, the moon high in the sky notifies him of it being night. Grabbing his stomach, Felix grimaces as his hand wraps around a sliver of pudge. Sniffing, the aroma of strawberry assaults his nose. Turning to the table, Felix spots the remnants of a slice, a couple of forkfuls left. 

Sighing upon realizing it was all a dream despite the vividness, Felix leans back into his chair. Glaring at the cake, Felix stands up. Bones aching, he stretches, humming as they crack. The warm covers of his bed calling and reaching out to him, Felix takes a couple of steps. His stomach growling, the hunger calls and reaches out to im as well. Glancing at the bed, then the cake, and then finally his stomach, Felix frowns. Grabbing the plate, he swiftly devours the remains of the cake.

“I’m not out of control,” He grumbles to himself.

[pers-books]

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit - thanks, hon!

Name: pers-books on Tumblr / Persiflage on AO3 / persiflage_1 on LJ

Fandoms: These days the Berena corner of Holby City. I am largely mono-fannish. I might write the occasional crossover fic, but those are very much a rarity and a general rule, once I move on to writing in a new fandom, I don’t go back to write for an old one. It’s just the way the Bitch Muse works. 

Fandoms I read, however, are multiple. Although I suppose I should say it’s particular ships within a fandom as I tend not to read much outside of a particular ship EXCEPT for Doctor Who - because I have multiple ships in DW, though I mostly only wrote Martha Jones/The Doctor when I was writing Who fic, I read far more ships and also some non-shippy fics (mostly those written by @thisbluespirit!). Currently I read for ships in Doctor Who, Star Trek: Discovery, The Murderbot Diaries (non shippy in that instance!), Warehouse 13, Silent Witness (when I spot some Jill Raymond fic), and whatever else either takes my fancy or I get asked to beta-read. (Just because I’m not in a fandom, doesn’t mean I can’t beta-read it for you. I can at least do a Spelling, Punctuation & Grammar check, and also check for narrative flow, consistency, and for plot holes!)

Where you post: To AO3 these days. Though the Mashed Up Tropes meme fics have been posted here first.

Most popular one-shot: Action and Reaction (Star Trek: Discovery) - 101 Kudos

Most popular multi-chapter: The Red String of Fate (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)) - 171 Kudos

Fic you were nervous to post: Actually all of them to a certain extent, but especially the first fic in a new-to-me fandom. Also anything I’ve written for a special occasion/request (eg for a fandom event or someone’s birthday. And also anything I’ve written that’s outside my norm/my comfort zone (eg written in the second person or from an outsider PoV or the Agents of SHIELD one with almost no dialogue (Everyone Gets Attached to Something).

How do you choose your titles? Gods, I don’t know. Whatever seems to fit. For my Berena Secret Santa I went with a quote from Shakespeare that lives in my head in perpetuity (What’s past is prologue) (I have a lot of Shakespeare in my head, by the way!) - but it’s not often I use a quote.

Do you outline? Not as a rule these days. I find if I outline it stops me from writing the fic. I try to just hold the idea in the back of my head until the Bitch Muse compels me to write it!

Complete: On AO3 594. There are a helluva lot of Doctor Who fics on my LJ that I’ve never bothered to transfer over, though. Hundreds of them - which is why I’ve not bothered to transfer them. If I added them then I’d probably have at least 1000 as I was very prolific in the DW fandom back in the day. (It was my first fandom.)

Do you take prompts? Yes. Ish. I’m still open for taking the Mashed Up Trope fic prompts if anyone wants to suggest some via an Ask (and yes, I’m aware I have five or six outstanding ones. I promise I’ve not forgotten.) Otherwise, if you want to send me a prompt, if you’ve got a particular idea you’d like to see me write Berena fic for, then send me an Ask, Anon or otherwise. Or contact me via Tumblr’s messaging service. I cannot absolutely guarantee to write something, mind - it very much depends on the Bitch Muse, as always! But I am open to being Asked.

In progress: *snorts* Dozens of the bloody things, the Bitch Muse’s vagaries being what they are! 

Coming soon: Right now I’m trying to finish up another Stocking Filler for the Berena Secret Santa. I’d like to get it done by Xmas Day, but given The Day I’ve had today, I cannot absolutely guarantee to manage that. I’m about half way done (and it’s over well over 5k words so far!). And, if the library coughs up the books I’ve requested for background reading (and the Bitch Muse doesn’t lose interest in the interim!), Busker!Bernie will be forthcoming some time in 2021. 

Tagging: As always, don’t feel obliged to play if you don’t want to: @slightlyintimidating, @rauzadian, @lapalfruity, @corvidden, @doctorjameswatson. @professorflimflam, @wonkots42, @ktlsyrtis, @ariverandasong

[youarejesting]

Curse.12 Again

[First] [Masterlist] [Next] Beta: N/A Rating: PG Pairing: Prince!Jin x Reader Genre: fantasy, romance, comedy, drama, mystery, and more good stuff Words: 2.4k

Summary: A modern-day fairy tale whereby seven young princes born under King Bang’s greed cannot find true love. Unless they break a special spell, called the ‘Bang curse’. In order to break the curse, Prince Seokjin must be loved by a ‘Blue’ blood, by a royal. That seems almost impossible when you have a pig nose. (based off the movie Penelope)

You left rushing out of the palace and throwing the coat to the van and jumping on the first bus towards your work. In such a rush, barely taking a moment to check your phone, hoping you would make it on time. 

You arrive and the boss is sitting there looking at the clock, “you're eight-minutes late.” He growled and you frowned looking at him and checking your phone. 

“I’m only three minutes late, that clock is slow”

“You should be arriving at least ten minutes before your shift and leave ten minutes after”

“Only if you pay for the extra twenty minutes, I legally won’t step foot onto this premises before my shift starts for insurance reasons” 

“Listen don’t think about being late tomorrow or you will be fired” he breathed leaving you to run the store and you frowned taking a deep breath and getting to work. 

Once your shift was over you headed home for a quick shower before you had to go to the bakery. You saw the landlady walking the hall, you sighed this wasn’t going to work out. You grabbed your things and packed your suitcase with everything you owned in it. It was sad really that your whole life fit into one suitcase. 

You showered and changed leaving with everything and thanking the landlady for everything and apologizing that she had to put up with everything. You handed her an envelope. “This is everything I can give you right now”

“I wish you luck,” she said pushing the envelope back towards you. “I won’t take what you have left”

“Thank you I will definitely repay you one day,” you said looking at the floor “I will, I promise”

You took your suitcase and headed to work, it was a perfectly normal day at work. Everything was amazing and you were excited to see Seokjin again. 

After work, you dragged your suitcase to the palace and handed it to the van waiting outside while slipping on the pink blazer equipped with the tiny camera. 

Waking into the palace you were let inside and you walked the halls expertly. You located the room and in the middle of the room was a drum kit. You laughed, staring at it as you laid back on the couch closing your eyes for some sort of rest before Seokjin arrived. 

It didn’t take long before his beautiful voice filled the room, “You are back” With all the joys of a child seeing their favorite person return after a long absence. “How long have you been waiting?”

“Not long enough to nap,” the yawn that cut through would definitely be a prelude to many more.

He laughed, “I have decided you must play the drums you have excellent timing and you are spontaneous and very impactful and loud and wild like a drum” 

You nodded and tried to play the song ‘Epiphany’ you had tried to play every day for him but you were too busy laughing and banging the drums. “Okay, I get it, you don’t play the drums.” He was hysterical and it was a type of boyish flair you didn’t hear from him often. A pure sound, unlike his melancholy tones you were used to.

“You sound happy today?” You grinned walking closer to the mirror and smiling up at him “Why don’t we go out, we can get food and drink. You are losing your twenties in a tower, my prince”

“I can’t” his voice dwindled again and you pushed further you were wanting more and more of him every day, whether it be his voice, memories, time or physical presence you wanted it all and you didn’t know how much longer you could sit and be happy with these interactions.

You placed your hand flat against the glass and gave it a tap. “Jin?” 

“You don’t have to leave yet do you?” His voice seemed disappointed, a return tap against the mirror signaled his hand was pressed against the reverse side, lined up with yours. 

“I want to see you?” You whispered; eyes searching the glass and starring fixed where you could only guess he was watching. 

“You really don’t?” He sighed, sounding distant like he had stepped away, “once you see me you will leave, they always do.” 

“Not me.” There was truth in your words, he could honestly be the most hideous man on the planet and you would still feel this way. “If I left, I think I would miss you too much to stay away”

“I just can’t” his voice seemed distant and all you could feel was the cold glass reflecting your desperate eyes. This was just supposed to be work but you were getting attached to him. It was a dangerous game and you knew you had already lost.

He was witty, his puns were lame but they made you laugh wholeheartedly, the way he spoke genuinely about his interests and his love for food and cooking. The way he spoke about his brothers you could feel how much he cared for them. Everything he gave you made you want more, it was an unquenchable thirst.

“Jin, are you still there?” You were scared it had dawned on you how much you longed for him and you couldn’t imagine a day without coming to the palace for one of your chats.

“I am still here?” He said quietly. You thought to give him some space and you sat on the couch when your phone alerted you to a text from your manager at the bakery. Apparently, some money had gone missing earlier that day during your shift and everyone was called to a meeting in half an hour.

“I really can’t handle this now” You threw your phone onto the next cushion and hung your head in your hands.

“What is wrong?” Seokjin’s voice called and you didn’t move a muscle or even make a sound as you were running through the shift in your head. 

“I have to go?” You whispered, standing and picking up your phone. You were close to tears the water that you had always waded in had gotten deeper and you used to be able to come up for air but now you were struggling trying to catch a break so you would have a chance to breathe. “Can, I come back later?”

“Of course, is something wrong?” He asked quietly and you nodded adjusting your handbag and looking back at the mirror.

“Only everything in my entire life” You turned to leave and he spoke three sad words that made your throat constrict.

“Is it me?” You strode back across the room and pressed your hands to the mirror.

“It is many things, but it could never be you” pausing for a moment you breathed. “I am sure you have enough beds in the palace, how about I stay the night and we can talk as long as you want”

“Really” He was excited by the prospect of spending more time with you, “I will get you a pretty room?”

“I want this one so I can be near you” 

“I will arrange a bed”

“As long as the bathroom is private, I don’t want anyone looking at me shower”

“I promise that there are no rooms that look into the bathrooms”

“I will be back after this meeting and then it’s you and me for dinner” You pressed a kiss to the glass and ran out of the room and the palace passing Adora and another young man and you threw the jacket at Jay park and Alana and told the two to drive to the bakery.

You jumped out and told them to wait, walking into the so-called meeting you saw the bakery was closed. Besides you, there were only two other people in the shop and they were the couple who owned it.

“Please take a seat,” the wife said looking rather cold and you walked over slowly and hesitantly.

“Where is everyone?” You asked

“We only invited you,” they said and it dawned on you, they believed it was you. 

“Ah you think it was me, well isn’t this swell?” you didn’t even bother taking a seat, instead you grabbed your handbag and began searching for your wallet “I get kicked out of my home this morning and now this, how much was taken from the till?”

The two seemed almost frightened by the sheer force with which you spoke. The woman seemed to try to match your fierce demeanor failing as she told you it was a few hundred. You counted out your money and threw it onto the table. Before turning from the shop and walking out. You leaned your head back in. “Oh, your husband has been sneaking off to the storage room with some of the young women who work here. You should leave him, he is a sleaze.”

You were throwing caution to the wind because what else was there to do, sit and cry about it, no you were not. You could sink to the bottom all you wanted and you weren’t going to struggle, because once you hit the ocean floor the only way was up.

The whole way back to the palace Alana and Mr. Park were nagging, “Listen we are running out of time, we need this photo” Mr. Park said as he drove away from your previous workplace.

“Why, Why do you need this photo?” You snapped

“Because he is a beast,” Alana said, causing you to roll your eyes, she was delusional obviously.

“Funny he seems nice enough, nice broad shoulders?” You thought back on Seokjin and your troubles seemed to melt away for a moment.

“Hello, Suryeon?” Adora asked “Right this way, Prince Seokjin has prepared dinner for you if you will follow me”

You were deep in thought about what the reporter had said, something about it didn’t sit right with you but the more you thought about it the more it gave you a headache. You were trying to push it away, so you could concentrate on your evening with Seokjin.

Outside the sitting room, Adora stopped you. “What do you think of the prince?”

“He is beautiful” You smiled “He is charming and his shoulders are so broad and he makes these dumb jokes that make me laugh. I feel like everything is okay when I am with him.”

She grinned, opening her mouth to press for more information when the door opened. And two young men stepped out. “Ah, you must be Miss Suryeon, I am Pddog the butler and this is Prince Taehyung”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, my brother speaks of you often these days” He smiled shaking your hand, “Please grow to love him.”

Almost offended by this statement, there was nothing wrong with Seokjin in your opinion that warranted some sort of plea. “Who says I don’t already?”

“He is waiting,” Pddog said and you pushed open the door heart racing. Only to see that there was a table pressed up to the mirror. The laugh that escaped you was a humorless one, figures he wouldn’t really be eating with you.

Dinner was pleasant you almost choked at one point from laughter. After a sweet dessert, Seokjin told you to open the small box on the bed. Looking inside you saw there was a bath bomb, a pink leaf shape with the scent of coconut.

“I thought we could use bath bombs together,” cheeks turning a bright red he laughed, “we would be in two different bathrooms but perhaps we could message or call and relax together.”

“Of course, that sounds lovely.” You were given directions to the guest bathroom and you were told everything was in there for you, you nodded scooping up some clothes and heading to the bathroom. 

You sat on the side of the tub amusedly watching the bath bomb fizz, before submerging yourself into the warm water. You took your phone and rang Seokjin placing your phone in a little holder so it wouldn’t fall into the water.

“Hello?” He answered

“Hello” you giggled “This bath is huge”

“Or, are you just small?”

“There was no need to attack me like that”

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you”

“Jin, it is a joke”

“Oh, okay, I’m sorry.” He spoke a little distantly “I saw my brother on the way here and he seems to like you, you must truly be an angel. My brother rarely trusts anyone with me.”

“I am honored he seems to approve of me” You heard a noise that sounded like a packet. “Are you eating chips in the bath?”

“No, I just opened a face mask?” His laugh was beautiful and loud echoing just right around the bathroom. “They will be on the left, you can use one as well if you like”

You were dressed and you entered back into the room your hair mostly dry. You curled up into the blankets and soft pillows and spoke with Seokjin until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. You kept thinking back to what Mr. Park had said.

“Listen, I need this photo as much as you need the money. Okay, we all got a past, I wasn’t always an old cynical guy. I was humiliated as a young reporter. I was shunned and my pictures were torn apart in front of me. No one believed the apprentice and no one would listen if you said the king got into a car accident that orphaned a little girl. I was there I had the pictures. Now I won’t let those royals get away with anything.”

It was snowing and there were kids slightly older than you, they were teasing you.

Your parents were smiling at you from the front seat of the car, you remember the red light and the stopped taking a moment to turn and ask you if you wanted a hot chocolate. 

They through your pig plush toy over the fence.

Tires could be heard screeching in the background and the shattering of glass.

You were crying, cold, upset, and in pain. 

“You dropped this?” His voice echoed as did the glass breaking. “I’m Jin”

He was fading away, and all you could hear was crying. As his image faded you saw his face with a pig nose. 

You jolted awake and held your head in your hands. 

“Are you okay?” Seokjin’s voice called and you felt your body relaxing “You were crying, I thought you might have been hurt”

“I am sorry I woke you, I just had a bad dream”

“Would you like to tell me about it?”

“I think I remember how my parents died, I think it might have been a car accident”

[First] [Masterlist] [Next]

Tags: @knjkitten​​​ @wystfulaster​​​ @unadulteratedlyunique​​​ @sungiesangel​​​ @kpopnonous​​​ @moccahobi​​​ @cloud-sitting​​​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​​​ @bluehairedotakugem​​​  @lilacdreams-00​​ @gqmf-bangtanmama​

How can I Read / Receive updates later?

Follow and turn on notifications so you never miss an update

Add your username to a tag list [HERE]

Reblog this post with the hashtag #SeokjinCurse

Or you can like this post (but good luck trying to find it a week later, we both know how many things you like a day, perhaps we will meet again in the future.)

[preestine]

💮 rules for 2020;

rules for myself only. need to look at these daily so i can get myself out of this slump. probs will add more later on as i think of them.

💮 w/ others;

. always say “please”, “thank you” and “if it’s not too much trouble for you” when asking for something.

remember: you aren’t entitled to anything. nothing was designed specifically to accommodate you. you have to earn the respect and consideration of other people. they owe you nothing.

. don’t needlessly bother other people.

try to figure out things by yourself first and only ask for help or advice if all of you attempts have failed. people don’t need to waste time catering to your needs. you are a grown adult and most likely have all the skills to solve most daily problems on your own. don’t make them chase you down to get an answer from you either: clear your inbox everyday and answer every single text. no need to play hard to reach, it only frustrates people and makes them think you think too highly of yourself to bother answering them in a timely fashion.

. double check everything.

mistakes made because of haste or distraction are the stupidest mistakes on earth and they will cost you the respect of other people. they will think you were thoughtless enough not to take 0.2 milliseconds more to double check for a spelling mistake or if the way you worded things was the best possible one.

. don’t complain.

you literally have no reasons to. nobody likes a whining little bitch. if there is an issue use your energy to fix it instead of mindlessly complaining about it. lend an ear to other people’s problems and try your best to solve them or give them advice but never use it as an excuse to complain yourself. nothing dramatic or tragic is going on in your life. all your shortcomings were caused by you and yourself only. the world doesn’t have it out for you. nobody cares enough to spend their time or energy to make your life miserable, it’s all in your head. you know what’s wrong with the world? you. your laziness and weak mindedness is what’s wrong with the world. don’t kid yourself into thinking you can place the blame on something or someone external.

. stop oversharing.

work on your goals in silence. you don’t need to run off to share with the world every time you accomplish the smallest of feats. you are not special, you are not the first person to accomplish something, you didn’t set a world record. all it ever does is force people to notice things they have no interest over and then having them either give you their opinions/advices about it or feel obliged to praise you for it not to hurt your feelings. you are not a 2 years old learning how to walk. you don’t need others to pat you on the back every time you manage to do the bare minimum. don’t seek false recognition from others. keep your head down and don’t you dare raise until you have reached the goal.

💮 daily life; 

. intermittent fasting.

your stomach needs a break as well. your body cannot spend all of its energy during your waking hours to digest food. it’s okay to eat, you need food to fuel your body and improve your performances, you just don’t need to feed yourself constantly. food is for the hours between 9am and 6pm, after that it’s rest time for your digestive system. just like you wouldn’t suddenly fall asleep at 12pm you don’t need to be eating at 3am. only still/sparkling water, unsweetened tea and black coffee allowed during your fasting window.

. sleep restfully.

you need to sleep at least 7 hours a night, but 8 would be best. you need to be rested and full of energy to give your all during the day, from studying to working to tidying up your apartment. stop screen bingeing before bed. there’s nothing on the internet that you couldn’t have checked the rest of the day so it makes no sense for your to mindlessly scroll through your apps until 2 am. sleep is from 9.30pm to 5.30am. don’t snooze. if you sleep properly you won’t need to be a lazy fuck and press snooze when the alarm rings. if you oversleep it just means you went to bed too late just to indulge on useless past-times. 

. workout everyday.

this is what you need to use to destress. stop eating to cope with your feelings or emotions. overeating will only make you feel more guilty after and add onto your already negative train of thoughts and bring you nothing. the people around you don’t deserve your negative vibes, your brain doesn’t deserve to waste energy on regretting things that could have been avoided. follow your weekly split and do LISS on rest days. you need to exercise at least 30 minuets everyday. don’t use your period as an excuse to skip, just take it slow.

. take care of your appearance.

you need to take care of your outer appearance. people are looking at you and judge you based on how well you manage your appearance because that’s all they know about you at the beginning. if they notice you can’t take care of yourself they won’t see you as someone they can trust with their own well-being. you are in a position where people older than you look to you for guidance so you need to be polished an refined to give out a reassuring aura. your clothes need to match and be perfectly ironed. wear full make up on working days and minimal make up if going outside on off days. skincare routine twice a day. brush your teeth after every meal. get your nails done every three weeks and your hair cut every three months. pull your hair up and away from your face everyday, people need to see you clearly. always wear matching jewellery and don’t over do it. choose only one set between necklaces and earrings and wear that together with your watch and rings. wear heeled shoes so you can be conscious of your walking posture throughout the day. never slouch or use swear words.

. eat well.

your body doesn’t need all those processed foods. they are never worth the calories and you already know you will regret eating them later on. your body needs whole foods in order to function properly. you need to be clear headed and focused in order to be productive and you can’t do that if you are in a carbs coma. hit your daily protein and your daily kcal limit everyday. there are no “weekends” or “celebrations” excuses or any of that. if you need to eat socially then make it fit into your daily allowance, the way you have to eat doesn’t need to impact other people’s. they shouldn’t spend brain energy noticing that you eat in a particular way, they shouldn’t go out of their way to change their plans or their food offerings to accommodate you. don’t be an ungrateful little shit and think about the feelings of the people who cook for you/buy you food and would love nothing more but to see that you appreciate their gestures. how you are going to balance those kcal out in your daily total later on it’s your issue not theirs.

💮 self improvement;

. plan your day.

you need to plan every little thing. the moment you think you will just “remember it later” or “i’ll do it right after this” i can promise you you won’t. write it down and make it fit into a time block. write down things and random thoughts in your notes so you can look at it at the end of the day and sort them out properly. plan what and when you are going to eat for the whole week ahead and which workouts you are going to do so you don’t waste time thinking about it. review your to do lists constantly to make sure things don’t slip through. if you have your day planned out there’s no room for time wasting or wondering what you should be doing now.

. track what matters.

track only what really matters. there’s no need to obsess over every little detail when you can’t even get the important ones right first. track daily your weight, bf, sleep, water, protein and kcal intake, workouts, money spent and study time consistently for three months before adding anything else. if you don’t track you don’t have factual evidence to determine if you are progressing or not. don’t waste time second-guessing yourself, numbers never lie.

. educate yourself.

study your target languages daily. read the news for at lest 10 minutes everyday. read the industry specific newsletters you are subscribed to. take classes to improve your business admin skills over the weekend. you can’t get a better job and move away if you don’t have something more to offer compared to the rest of the thousands of candidates out there.

. don’t overspend.

you don’t need new clothes. you don’t need special foods. you don’t need new stationary or books or any other random crap when you aren’t even using what you already have. you planned all of that already so you know exactly what you need. oder online and set up an automatic subscription/delivery so you don’t waste your time wandering around shops and getting tempted.

[memoriashell]

this attraction between us

Characters /  Pairing: aegestra + some background edelgard/bernadetta

crossposted on ao3

Notes: i would highly suggest that you read this on ao3 because this is 10k words long and i cannot imagine that looks great on tumblr.

just to note, since this is set post canon, there is absolutely some spoilers in here, probably? this is the part where i admit i've yet to experience the black eagles path in full, so some details are probably a little off.

Summary: edelgard asks hubert to try out a different kind of magic. admittedly intrigued, he agrees.

( and then things get way more complicated for him, because ferdinand accidentally makes himself a test subject )

( these are feelings that cannot be replicated: this is a sentiment to how i love you )

The sound of metal scratching against parchment repeatedly catches his attention first— breaks his concentration as he stares at the source, before opting to ignore the emperor’s odd behavior. Heels clicking against the tile floor after a moment of silence is the second thing to key him into knowing something is off, feet tapping in what he can only gather to be anxious behavior.

Hubert prides himself on understanding— being able to read the empress, a skill he considers highly crucial to anyone with a position as high as his. And yet, despite that, he cannot tell what is bothering her in this moment. What it is exactly that makes her hesitate instead of speaking her mind to the extent she usually would with him, he cannot be conclusive of entirely ( but he can only assume that he is the cause of her anxiety, a stinging realization, for he is not sure what he has done to cause such, but masks his feelings as such is irrelevant to the matter ).

“Your Majesty.” He clears his throat sharply to get her attention; her reaction is delayed, but it gains her attention all the same. It will not do either of them good to think in circles, lest they fail to accomplish anything. While he would like to hope she would come speak of it in time, hoping is not very efficient (or effective); that is the only reason he insists on taking matters into his own hands. “You do not like it when I keep things from you, as do I towards you—” Hypocritical of him to say so, when he will do so anyways, when it means keeping her safe “— and while perhaps it is something you cannot speak to me of, I would like you to know you may speak to me. I would like you to...” He falters ( it is not about what he wants, after all ), follows with a slight shake of his head. “Well, I would prefer if you were not carving into the table with your quill. It is not like you to be so distracted.” He gestures with the end of his pen to where her hand has drifted from the papers and ink has begun to stain the wood. Her expression remains cool, but Hubert can read the subtle flush, the sheepish aversion of her gaze; he does not press as he returns to reading through the paperwork she has brought him. It is not in his place to ask anything more of her ( even if it was, he could not, he thinks— already, he considers apologizing for going too far ).

“If you...” When Edelgard speaks, it is so hesitantly soft and unlike her that he cannot help but give her his attention— even if she has had his attention from the start. “If you could find out...information, about someone without any consequence, would you?”

“Nothing comes without consequence.” He knows this, and he knows she knows this; and yet, she sounds so like a child again, a tinge of curiosity and innocence that they could not hope to hold onto in this world ( and he should not foster such emotions, but he does, and cannot help but indulge her a little, just like this ). “It would depend on the circumstance; do you not agree? If the information would be useful, perhaps it would be worth it. This does not sound like it is something theoretical, however.”

“No, it is not. I cannot hide anything from you, hm?” Edelgard is not upset, if not a little amused. “There are some books that the imperial family keeps as a part of a special collection. I think it’s supposed to be kept secret, though I’m sure they know it exists. I thought I’d check if there was anything there that would help with our...issues.” He’s surprised this is the first that he is hearing of it, all things considered— but there are things that he does not even know, he supposes, there will always be a few things she will keep from him.

“And I presume you were successful?” He doesn’t think there’s much more reason for her reluctance in coming forth with that information, even if he can’t pin down exactly why ( he has a few ideas, knowing his emperor, but he cannot be certain until he hears more from her ).

“It’s...this is not an order, you will not be forced to do this.” She says firmly, as if it has ever been an option he could consider ( it may not be an order, but if it ensures her safety— makes her happy, then it is his duty to see to it ). “I found some  old magic books. Hexes, curses, potions...I don’t know how much of it holds up, nor am I certain if it would be in your area of expertise.”

Hubert snorts at that, as if that would have ever stopped him; his position has always asked more of him than he has had to give, and he will always give himself up for her sake. “Perhaps, perhaps not. It does not hurt to investigate, at the very least. It is your call, if you would like me to test that.”

“I already said that this is not an order.” She sounds mildly disconcerted, but he opts to ignore it. “It does not hurt, is that it? I shall bring you the spellbook later, then.” She’s quiet for a moment, then speaks again. “That wasn’t...er, that was not all, actually. Again, this is not an order but there was a particular section I happened to be intrigued by while checking if it had anything pertaining to our work.”

“And that would be?” He prompts, when she falls silent again.

“...There was a section on love spells.” She looks positively flustered, and if he were a lesser man, he probably would have laughed ( but he is not, so the only outwards reaction he gives is a slight raise in his brows ). “Don’t—Don’t get the wrong idea. Ever since I looked at it, I cannot get it off my mind. It’s tempting. Am I...wrong in thinking so?”

“Nothing comes without consequence. Don’t we have enough to handle as it is?” He says again, as if to remind them both of this fact, there is a country dependent on them not being distracted by trivial matters— while he wants to be against such a thing, all the same, he cannot help but feel intrigued by the prospect. Still, even as strict as he is with her, he cannot help but indulge her too; that is the excuse he will use for this.

( If he could confirm if his affections have any chance, or— no, he’ll do this for Edelgard and her sake only, he swears there are no selfish motivations behind it. His duties come first, and besides that, he does not have the same selfish excuse that she does. Time is not working against him like her life is ).

“If you have a particular place you wish for me to start with, then bring that one to me. I must, of course, run a test to ensure it will not have any adverse side effects, and report back to you with the results when I have reached a conclusion. I would rather not tarnish your name, should something happen.” He says with a note of finality and moves their discussion back to one of the matters they were supposed to be handling. “Now, with regards to the theatre hall...”

While it is, indeed, not quite the kind of magic he is used to, Hubert finds that it is at least a refreshing change of pace, if nothing else. An extra obstacle comes in the form of parts of spells being written in older runes and symbols he is not entirely familiar with, which requires some extra research to decipher them, but that is negligible. He is nothing if not devoted to his work, and it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy a good challenge ( Ferdinand is enough proof of that— there is no other reason as to why he would put up with such, and he thinks that feeling is mutual ).

Speaking of— he still needs a test subject for this. He had briefly, briefly considered posing it as a challenge and using Ferdinand for this, test a potion in his tea; it is not a course of action below Hubert ( has he not poisoned many a person before in a such a fashion? ), but he cannot find himself considering doing so in good faith. This isn’t about him, this is for Edelgard; he won’t let his own affections get tangled up in this. He is a little less averse to the thought of using the others, however, that is no different than what he usually does.

The sharp scent of fresh coffee is what pulls his attention back to reality, not the footsteps approaching him; and he figures it must be one of the servants because few others would consider entering his study. Hubert lifts his head as he reaches for his cup, and—

— gives a sudden jump as he nearly bumps into Ferdinand, hovering above him.

( Of course it is him, he thinks, very few others would invite themselves into his study; and he thinks so in a manner almost so fondly that it is frightening. Almost ).

“Is there a reason you must lean in so close?” He opts to forego any greeting— he doubts he even cares anyways— as he leans back and shuts his eyes for a moment ( if he seems flustered, neither of them acknowledges it ).

“To see what is keeping you.” Ferdinand responds, not missing a beat and goes on. “You were late.”

“Was I?” He does not think he has any meetings he is missing, before he understands what the other means. There is no set schedule, no precise routine to when they get together for their ‘tea time’ as it were; but there is an unspoken sort of agreement between them about it, and despairingly, Hubert realizes that he’s right; even over such frivolous matters, he does not like to concede that he is correct. He breathes in sharply, hand rising to his temple. “I— Forgive me, I did not realize...I will have to make it up to you another time.”

“Edelgard mentioned you were doing some research for her. I figured you probably were overworking and needed a break.” He’s right, but he refuses to acknowledge that; again, he is too stubborn to yield, that is how their relationship has always worked. A pause, and he hears a curious hum from the other. “Is this stuff for the crests? I could not read that book you have open.”

His eyes snap open and without thinking about it, he tugs Ferdinand away from ( almost quite literally ) sticking his nose into the brew he was working on. “No.” Hubert says firmly, and while he considers telling him the truth, he opts to keep it secret for at least the time being. “This is different, and I would appreciate it if you did not cause me to need to make an antidote for this quite yet.”

“But you could, I am quite sure.” There’s a hint of a challenge to his tone, an underlying warmth— he gives the other a very stern look in response.

“I’d rather not test it.” On you, goes unsaid; but perhaps Ferdinand is sharper than he seems and understands nonetheless, because he leaves the brew alone.

“But if it was for the crests, you would let me be involved, right? I do think I would be able to make myself quite useful as a test subject.” Or not. Hubert takes back any remarks on Ferdinand understanding anything; he’s not entirely upset, even if he disagrees with him— even competitively, his intentions are well meaning, despite not entirely appreciated by him.

“That would be Lady Edelgard’s call, not mine.” Which isn’t entirely false to say, even if he doesn’t particularly like the thought of using him like— that. Let him get involved once risks have been eliminated, but he knows better than to try and convince Ferdinand when he has his mind set.

Ferdinand quirks a brow curiously, and for a moment Hubert expects a callous remark on how he should not defer to Edelgard like that; but nothing comes and instead a hand is offered out to him. “Well then, shall we go out...outside, I mean. Sitting around in a stuffy room with whatever you’re making— surely, it will all get to your head if you stay here?”

He would usually be inclined to disagree but staying here means the noble will be more prone to poking into his things whilst he tries to work, which is not ideal when he has something that he can’t predict the side effects of on his hands. He sighs, putting out the fire beneath the brewing pot; accepting the other’s hand as he stands and takes a moment to steady himself from the dizziness that comes from suddenly rising after so long. He cannot remember how long it has been since he’s taken a break. “Only briefly, then. I have things to finish.”

“Briefly.” Ferdinand agrees, but they both know that it will not be anything close to short; he had already resigned himself to such the moment he’d been aware of the other’s presence. It is fine if he indulges himself in a break like this, he will just have to work longer later to make up for the lost time.

As he follows him out of the room, he can’t get the distinct feeling that something feels off but he can’t quite place what. Hubert is distracted from any lingering thoughts by a tug on his arm and fondly, he will mask his feelings and devote his attention to the other for the duration of the time they spend together.

He returns to his study refreshed and feeling much lighter; the only beneficial part to being around someone like Ferdinand, he would argue, is that his mood tended to rub off on people. His mood quickly dissipates when his gaze lands on his desk, which has gone and become a mess in his absence, and he hasn’t a clue why. At some point while he was gone, the brew had begun to bubble over, which feels like quite an ominous sign, and all sorts of things have been knocked down from his desk— a broken bottle of ink rapidly drying on the floor. He frowns and goes to close an open window before going to grab an old rag so he can begin cleaning up the mess. As he does so, however, he freezes in place, a chill down his spine.

He realizes two things with startling speed. One, the book is gone from the stand it’d been resting on.

And ( arguably ) more alarmingly, there is a stray hair in the brew mixture, the bright ginger color that Hubert can only presume means it belongs to Ferdinand von Aegir.

He takes some time to clean up while he mulls over these facts— more importantly, what to do about it. Once he has managed to gather his wits together and realize the terrible irony of the situation ( that for once, is not amusing to him ), he supposes that first, he’d best check up on Ferdinand. Which is easily done, since the only person who would have ever been easier to find is Caspar, out of virtue of being louder. He is momentarily derailed by tripping over a cat sitting outside his door, but doesn’t think more of it beyond one of the kitchen cats getting lazy.

True enough, the boisterous sound of his laughter is easy to pick out in the halls, and the sound of his footsteps thudding down alerts them to his arrival; Ferdinand is already half turned towards him, while Bernadetta takes one glance at his face before taking a hasty retreat ( he can’t tell if that means he must appear more or less angry than usual. Ah well ).

“Back already? Or did you need something important?”

Hubert ignores him as he stalks forward, jabs at his chest with his finger. “You—” He hisses and bites down on his tongue to pause, takes a breath to calm himself. Ferdinand was competitive, not intentionally screwing up with the results of his research, that was not in his nature to do— no use in getting angry. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Why, I did not know you cared.” He sounds amused— even jokingly, that stings a little more than he would like to admit. “Should I not feel all right?”

He gives him a steely glare— of all the times to not be serious. “Are you sure? Nothing feels different?” He doesn’t sense that he’s lying, but...he’s not certain if that’s a good sign or not.

“No different than any other day. Are you feeling all right?” Ferdinand leans forward slightly. “You were fine earlier. Did you catch a cold from being out? A heat stroke?”

“Never mind. Must have been wrong.” He grumbles, arms crossed— he’s uncertain how to feel about this, somewhere between disappointed and relieved by his lack of reaction. “Nonetheless, you will inform me if you feel any different.”

“You did something wrong? That doesn’t sound like you.” The frown on his face makes him hope that he’s taking him at least somewhat seriously. “Was that all? ‘detta was asking for help with some things...”

He grits his teeth. “Just. Promise me you will report to me if there’s any change.”

“I shall have a detailed report written up for you and everything.” As dismissively as the comment is made, Hubert has the feeling he means that literally, and can only stand in silence as Ferdinand walks away.

“One down, one to go.” He murmurs to himself and turns to head back down the hall.

Serving directly under the emperor meant Hubert was almost far too aware as to what Edelgard’s schedule was— and loath as he was to report failings on his part or involve her in such trivial matters, this one is not so simple to resolve ( well, he briefly had entertained the thought of killing Ferdinand and solving his affections once and for all, but that would still leave issues to be dealt with ). He takes care of other business that they have as he waits until her dealings are done for the day before he bothers her with the news.

“Lady Edelgard.” He greets her as he approaches, a stiff bow as he waits for her to acknowledge his presence. “I am afraid I have some unfortunate news.”

“I’m already terrified by how proper you’re acting.” She is teasing, clearly; and nods a head at him to continue.

“The tome of yours that I was borrowing has gone missing. I take full responsibility for the actions that have led to it. I have already made plans to search the grounds for it and interrogate the servants, but I am not certain it has remained here.”

“But would someone have wanted to steal it? For all they know, it is just a book.” She taps a finger to her cheek in a thoughtful manner. “Not that I don’t believe you. It isn’t quite like you to misplace things.”

“It was kept a secret for a reason.” He cannot conclude many other reasons for its disappearance in such a short period of time. “I also regret to inform you that we may need a new prime minister.”

“I thought you two quit quarreling ages ago.” Edelgard raises her brows at him. “Might you inform me the reason you say so?”

Years of practiced facial expressions help him keep his expression in checked, otherwise his flustered embarrassment would be almost painfully obvious. “He may have a hex on him.”

“I though we were testing love potions?” There’s a moments pause before her face twists in a slight grimace. “Ah, I see your issue. So he’s taken an interest in you, then? I admit, I’m not sure I would’ve expected this to be what you are upset about.”

She’s getting too much amusement out of his suffering, he thinks. “If only it were that simple. He says he feels no different, so...I am not entirely certain what happened. I would have just made an antidote to try and fix it, but without the spellbook I’m not keen on worsening things. At least for now he is still alive.”

She sobers up a little after that. “That is an issue, to say the least. Well, work on finding the book. We’ll figure things out as soon as we make more progress. Perhaps you can see if there are any experts to these kinds of matters?”

“We should have some contact that can gather that information for us. I’ll see to that it is done as soon as possible.” He nods his agreement and waits for her to dismiss him before taking his leave.

While he has other people looking into matters for him, he cannot just abandon his actual work to do so ( though arguably, Ferdinand becoming incapacitated would become a work related issue ). Nonetheless, he does not have time for lapses in judgement— weakening his guard in any sense. No, as long as those despicable people linger in the shadows, his duty to the emperor remains a priority.

Ferdinand never comes to him reporting any change, so he does not see him for some few odd days— if Hubert is purposefully going out of his way to avoid him, he does not admit so— does not make such easily apparent. Admittedly, he misses the presence of soft honey locks and the lingering scent of tea— he has no time for such sentimentality, to waste his time on pleasantries, and he is sure Ferdinand has hardly noticed his absence in any case. His only companion during this time is a cat from the kitchen that seems to have taken a liking to him— a rare occasion given such creatures usually flee at first sight, but it is a welcome distraction from everything else going on; if not one that makes him chuckle at the ironically fitting image that this nearly creates.

( Really, all it does is cement how desperate, how disgustingly pathetic he is. What a cold and lonely monster he’s let himself become— he cannot help but feel some sort of regret at a time like this. He wonders if before, he would have even noticed that he felt lonely ).

Hubert keeps himself busy with ‘work’ up until Edelgard pleas with him to not overwork himself ( which, he will acknowledge she has a point, he will be far more useless to her if he cannot do a thing ), though it still takes a thinly veiled threat for  him to truly get moving. He compromises with himself by grabbing some papers to read through as he sits out in the courtyard with some coffee—he certainly needs the extra boost in energy disguised in his normal drinking habits.

He is not certain how much time passes— not much, if the sun in the sky is to be of much indication; but he is keenly aware of when he is no longer alone, raising his head and spooks Bernadetta in doing so. “Ah. It’s just you.” If he is honest, he had forgotten she was still visiting— ever the shrinking violet, she wilts when his gaze meets hers.

“I...sorry, are you— you’re busy, aren’t you? I don’t mean to bother...” A tinge less of self-loathing is present when she speaks, a marked change from the girl he remembers in years prior. He shakes his head, and gestures to an open seat.

“I am seldom not busy.” It is mostly true to say, and he waits for her to sit before resuming. “Has your business with Lady Edelgard gone well? I have not heard much about it.”

“Oh, yes, o-of course. It’s always a pleasure to work with her.” She says it so such earnestly that Hubert does not doubt it to be true ( it is only those who go against her ways that have any issue to take with her, after all ). “I was beginning to think I would not see you at all, actually. I, I didn’t even hear you sulking in the halls like you usually do when Lady Edelgard has her meetings.”

He considers pointing out to her that she had already seen him, that day with Ferdinand ( or arguing that he does not sulk, thank you very much ), but does not do so because more pointedly— “You were looking for me?” And her face pales a little as she claps her hands over her mouth, a rapid shake of her head— ah, right. He has to remember who he’s dealing with here, upon seeing how fearful she seems to have become ( it doesn’t sting so much these days, and yet stings more after all this time ). “Bernadetta. I am not angry with you.” He reassures; insulted perhaps, mostly amused, if a little pitying. “I am sure Lady Edelgard would not have minded passing on a message if that was the case. Or am I to assume this matter concerns her?”

“No— y-yes? I’m not sure.” There is a crease present in her forehead, expression apprehensive. “I...er, um...it’s about Ferdinand!”

Hubert raises a brow at her at her exclamation. “I am not certain what this has to do with Edelgard. Nor have I heard of any such issues about him.”

“That’s exactly the problem. You haven’t heard anything because you’ve been—” She pauses to wordlessly gesture at his paperwork. “He’s worried about you. You’ve been avoiding him...? That’s what he thinks, anyways.”

“I have done no such thing. It would be unprofessional, and severely beneath me.” He’s no stranger to lying, feels no guilt in doing to towards her ( that said, apparently Ferdinand is sharper than he gave him credit for. Unsurprisingly. He’s not sure how to feel about all this ). “He knows where to find me if he has any need for me.”

“Hubert.” Her mouth is pressed in a firm line, hands clasped together. “If I may say...you should really go speak with him. You act like you hate him, but you, uhm, you aren’t as cold as people think you are, really. Or as you think you are. Edelgard might tease, but she trusts you for a reason. I...” She pauses, floundering in her speech for a moment— he doesn’t bother to point out the flaws in her reasoning, for Edelgard’s trust only comes with knowing some of his secrets ( and that doesn’t even make either of them entirely good people to trust, arguably ). “It doesn’t even...even need be much. But I think it’d make him happy.”

It’d make him happy? Hubert can hardly stifle a snort at such a concept. It’d make himself happy as well— but since when was he whimsy to his own wishes? The only person’s happiness he cared about was Edelgard.

( Or at least, that’s how it had been— when exactly that had changed, he cannot be certain of; in any case, he cannot deny he is briefly swayed to listen to Bernadetta ).

But he does not, in the end. He will not outwardly acknowledge her thoughts, raising his cup to his lips with a hint of melancholy in his expression— the way she spoke so honestly, he can’t help but wonder if that was because of the emperor...it reminds him of her, anyways. “I see that your time with Edelgard has been well spent. I hope you’ve been as good an influence to her as she is to you.”

“H-Huh?” Bernadetta’s cheeks pallor as she jumps to her feet, hastily waving her arms about. “No! I do not think it is anything like that at all! Rather, I—” She comes to a brisk halt as she sits back down, face red in embarrassment as she twiddles her fingers. “Ah. Sorry.”

Hubert bites his tongue to not laugh at her, a twinkle of amusement in his gaze. “You are quite fine, Bernadetta. Please continue to do as you do, for both of their sakes.” He does not think he needs to elaborate as he stands, gathering his papers as he prepares to take his leave. Indeed, human emotions are fickle things— she is best to serve them in ways he cannot. That is how things are meant to be.

“W-Wait—!” He has only made it a few feet when she calls out to him, turns to peer back at her. “Hubert, I-I...” Her voice falters, as if she is hesitating on what to say. “Thank you.” He does not have anything to say to that, and regards her with a sharp nod in acknowledgement— he really is no good when it comes to such sentimentalities.

( As he turns to leave for real, he misses the way she chews on her lip and watches after him )

Despite Bernadetta’s best attempts at ‘encouraging’ him, Hubert does not make any attempts to approach Ferdinand— if anything, he goes out of his way to make himself more scare to find by leaving temporarily on other business, since he is not making any progress on things at home.

( These tarnished hands of his, having never belonged to the light— it only serves to reaffirm that he is doing the right thing; he should not drag down anyone else into the shadows he lingers in ).

When he returns to report their progress, Edelgard greets him with a cheery expression, Bernadetta accompanying him— she seems to take a particular interest in not looking at him, so he can’t help but feel a little suspicious ( nothing against her personally, he just doesn’t like the feeling he’s getting ).

“I have some good news for you.” He simply quirks a brow at her, nodding for her to continue. “We found the tome. And by we, I mean Bernie did—”

“I am so sorry!” Bernadetta interrupts before she can continue speaking. “I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it from you, but I didn’t, uhm, I didn’t know how to bring it up to you.”

Hubert has to think for a moment before understanding why exactly she’s apologizing. “You wished to speak to have spoken of it the other day, is that it?” Annoyance slips into his expression as he sighs, shaking his head at her. “I’m not that upset. Thank you for bringing it to us, nonetheless. May I inquire as to where you found it?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Edelgard speaks before she can answer his question. “There’s some bad news. I already started looking at antidotes.”

“Is there none?” He assumes the worst, naturally. “If that is the case, I apologize greatly for the trouble I have caused.”

“Was I not the one who encouraged your research?” She looks a little miffed, before shaking her head. “No, rather, the likely antidote requires an ingredient we do not find around here.”

“Send someone out to retrieve it, then? Or is it something that could be bought?”

“I considered that. However...I would like someone to check up on the territory it is from. Diplomatic matters.”

“So, that is to say...” Hubert has a feeling he knows where she is going with this, and he is not fond of it.

“I am sending the minister of the imperial household with the prime minister, of course.

“I cannot approve of such.” For multiple reasons. “It would not be a good move to leave the empire with less...guards.” That is an understatement— does she not  think those people would take advantage of an absence like that? What she is thinking, he cannot discern; while she can surely take care of herself, that does not mean she should be left without protection.

“And thus, I’ve already seen to it that it would be taken care of so you would have no need to worry. Bernie’s going to extend her stay here, and Dorothea’s supposed to come report her findings soon as well. And as an extra precaution, I’ve already informed Byleth of the circumstances and asked them to be here as well. Think of it as a well-deserved break. You two have been busy as of late.”

He is almost surprised at how well thought out this all is. “You’ve planned this out well, I see. Have you informed Ferdinand as well, then?”

“He helped with planning, of course. I had to make sure there were no obvious flaws in my logic.”

He purses his lips, but he has no good reason to disagree with her. “Very well then. When are we to leave?”

“At your discretion. I presume you need time to prepare before traveling again, but I would like you two to be able to leave as soon as possible. I know you would like this all over as soon as possible as well.”

Hubert stops avoiding Ferdinand only to inform him that they will be leaving in two days’ time, then promptly returns to his room to pass out for the first time all week.

It’s not like Ferdinand to be so quiet. Not that Hubert, of all people, has an issue with it; which does not mean he is not concerned, even if he has no right to be, but there is a feeling right on the tip of his tongue that he cannot name. Indeed, it is silent between them until it is pointed out that they should stop for the night before it gets too dark and put their horses at risk. Tasks are quickly relegated— Ferdinand takes the horses since he is better suited to care for them, and Hubert goes to hunt for their dinner as he fares better in killing things.

( That feels more ominous than he would like it to ).

By the time Ferdinand has returned with two well-watered and mostly fed horses, he has managed to start a fire and begin cooking their meal.

“I forget you are not a bad cook. Smells edible, at least.” Ferdinand speaks as he approaches, sits himself down next to the fire— either he has decided to break the silence between them, or he’s trying to stay on his good side. He decides the difference is not really that important.

“Yes, well— unless you mean to say you’ve improved at cooking, I think I quite recall why you were never on cooking duty well enough to not subjugate us to that. As well as why I would only trust you with drinks. I like being able to tell my food was alive at some point, after all.” Hubert pauses to glance to the side briefly, when he sees the other leaning towards the flames. “Sit further back, Ferdinand. I have no wishes to deal with your hair catching on fire. Are you cold?”

“You don’t? Why Hubert, I would not have guessed you cared.” His bitterness is so scathing that he almost physically recoils— however, Ferdinand complies with his request and moves away from the fire (but closer to him in doing so). That is the fury he had been expecting to face eventually; the silent tranquil of their travels had been Ferdinand’s wordless fury from the start.

( Well, Bernadetta had tried to warn him in her own way— he had mentally prepared himself for this, it is only his fault that he had not chosen to take action ).

Despite that, however, Hubert chooses to deflect— if nothing else, he is good at doing that. “I don’t know what you are speaking of.”

“That is exactly what I mean.” Ferdinand sounds less bitter and more— tired? He cannot tell entirely of the unspoken emotion in his voice. “You might not be the most warm and open person around, but this is pretty low for even your standards. I think I quite miss the way you hated me during our academy days. At least then it was clear how you felt.” This is the most he has spoken all day, and he can only guess this is only a small part of what he has been stewing over for however long this has been bothering him. “I cannot tell if this treatment from you is because I have said something to displease you and this is your way of being angry now; or if something that I have done has irritated Lady Edelgard— but I must please ask you to give me some peace of mind on this matter before you choose to dispose of me.”

“I—” Any and all words that come to mind immediately die on his tongue as he stares at him incredulously. “I’m sorry?”

“You should be, but then, you do not even know what you are apologizing for, do you? I am not a fool, Hubert. Clearly, this was simply an excuse to be able to kill me without any witnesses present.”

( And yet, you still chose to come along without protest, believing that? Hubert cannot help the amused fondness that comes with that thought. Yes, you certainly are foolish, Ferdinand )

“I am not angry with you.” Is the first thing he manages to say, biting his tongue as to not snicker at him as he meets the other’s gaze. “Nor do I have any plans of killing you. It would be quite inconvenient to do so.”

“You...you are not planning to kill me?” He sounds so surprised that he almost balks a little. “Then what has been the reason for your behavior as of late? You have avoided me as if I had the plague!”

“No. Though I do admit the prospect was appealing...I am kidding, Ferdinand.” Mostly kidding, anyways— he is quick to add on when he sees the pallor of the other’s face ( he forgets that Ferdinand does not handle jokes well, to say the least ). “I...I do apologize. It was not my intention to give you that impression. I am not inclined to share details, but...some of the work I have been doing for Lady Edelgard has not gone well. I did not and do not intend to get you involved in such affairs, however, so I have admittedly made myself rather scarce as of late. Forgive me, it was a foolish thing of me to do.” He dislikes the way he makes himself sound much more noble than his actions have actually been.

“Yes, quite foolish of you.” Ferdinand murmurs with a hint of something— amusement perhaps, before clearing his throat. “Are we not equals, Hubert? I know there are matters your loyalty to Edelgard prevents you from speaking about, but I would think something as simple as wanting some space is something that could have been said. Do you not trust me to leave it at that?”

( No, they are not, that is what he wants to say; they are far from being equal. Even before the old rulings had been cast aside, disregarding their crests or lack thereof— no, they could not be on even footing, because Ferdinand would never stoop so low in the name of a noble, and Hubert would do everything in his power to accomplish their goals ).

“Of course.” He says, and well, that much is true— he trusts him some unspeakable amount. “I will consider it henceforth.”

“Please do. I would like to not have to question my livelihood in the future.” The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile, even when his eyes do not meet his— hesitation laces his features. “I missed speaking to you like this, if I am to be honest.”

Thinking about it seriously, he’s not certain if he could ever actually go through with killing Ferdinand— it would not be a hard thing, and he would do it if Edelgard commanded him to do so. But could he live with that? It makes his chest tight to even consider, and he ponders when hands as disgraced as his has ever hesitated— when he got to be so soft over the thought of killing someone.

( Then again, it is not like he would feel like this for just anyone ).

“I—” Hubert hesitates, and in doing so notes a sharp stench and comes to the realization that is the scent of their dinner burning; getting to his feet to try and salvage it while he still can. Despite not saying it, it goes understood—I missed you too.

And even the ruins of their meal cannot put a damper on his mood.

They arrive in the neighboring territory late the next afternoon and spend it getting acquainted with the ruling nobles of the land and discussing between themselves what they need to get done for Edelgard. That is one of the easier things— even if Ferdinand will challenge his choices, it keeps them in check, assures that they are working towards the same goal.

Less easy is that with their presence brings an audience— the girls that stand from a distance as they giggle and ogle Ferdinand are bearable ( if not annoying, but understandable— it had always been a bit of an unspoken agreement that Ferdinand was one of the more attractive members of their class ). No, it is the faces that linger in the shadows that leave him less easy— he is fairly certain they are not a member of that despicable group, and concludes they are likely just people against the changes Edelgard wishes to make and are eying them, messengers of that change. He cannot blame them, for sudden change is difficult for people— all the same, he has sworn devotion to seeing her vision to fruition, so he cannot let such people blemish her view.

( The sacrifices made— well, perhaps they are not in vain, he would like to think ).

That said, they do not stay any longer than they need to, however. Neither of them like being away from the empire, even if the emperor is in capable hands. Hubert goes out of his way to gather the ingredient that they need, unbeknownst to Ferdinand, and once all their business has concluded, they make the travel back home. Traveling is much smoother this time, given that neither of them have any need to go out of their way to avoid each other— and it is easier when he does not need to be concerned about any silence.

Unfortunately, it does force him to think about other things, now that he has given up on purposefully avoiding him. The truth stares at him in the face, and yet— he cannot accept it. For all that Ferdinand has revealed, something does not add up. Is that the true nature of the hex he’d accidentally casted? He supposes that he won’t get the answer to that just yet, but as he mulls over it, he cannot help but feel like he’s missing something.

Some tactician he makes.

The ground next to him dips and a sudden warmth breaks him away from his train of thoughts. “If you are cold, I think the horses to be a much more suitable source to go to.”

Ferdinand shakes his head, scooting closer to him as if just to disagree with his sentiments. “The fire is good enough. I do not think I am going back to sleep, anyhow, so I thought I would offer to take over watching now.”

Hubert watches the way his hair is illuminated by the flames of the fire for a moment before responding. “Go sleep while you can. I can keep watch for a while still.”

“It’s okay. I shall just steal some of the coffee you have been hiding.” The way he mumbles his words makes it hard to tell if he is as awake as he claims to be.

“Do not expect me to pity you if you fall off your horse tomorrow.” He says plainly, and then it fades into silence between the two of them, having nothing further to say on the subject, both intent on staying awake. Hubert briefly entertains himself by glancing upwards, at the sky and observes the stars ( he will return to paying attention to his actual surroundings in a moment, but it is hard to do so with the warmth leaning against his shoulder ).

A low croon causes him to start— it is only with the grumbled voice against his shoulder that he realizes that it was Ferdinand ( of course it was, the logical side of his mind reasons, there shouldn’t be anyone else out here ). “Sorry. I did not realize you could sing. Well, that is.”

Ferdinand hums to acknowledge him, a moment before he offers a response. “I am rather rusty, these days. I suppose even if professor paired us together in group tasks, they knew well enough to not force us into choir practice together.”

“I still maintain that it was your fault for our short fallings.” Hubert huffed. “I believe Byleth realized after a while it was best not to force me into choir and let me focus on other subjects instead.”

“Says the one that clung to the pegasus the entire time.” The other retorts, knowingly— he pointedly does not look at the smug expression the other surely has.

“I am not to be blamed for that.” He opts to change topics, staring blankly at the burning fire. “I am not familiar with what you were singing, may I inquire what it was? You— it sounded lovely.”

“A compliment? You must really want to know.” He laughs, soft and melancholic. “Just a lullaby I remember hearing often as a child. Did no caretaker of yours ever do such a thing?”

“I do not recall.” He says, a little more soft and vulnerable than he means to; but for a moment he remembers a warm voice and a soft figure that had tucked him into bed and spoken words of love ( his mother is such a stranger to him that he cannot recall her in detail— just that she was gone from this world now ).

“I see.” Ferdinand muses, and there is only a moment before Hubert finds an arm hooked around his shoulders and tugging him close. He is stiff as he is tucked against the other’s chest, a soft lilt falling from his lips. The rumble of his chest proves to be soothing, however, and relaxes after a bit.

( There is no logical explanation for any of what is happening, he thinks, as he is lulled to sleep by a hand in his hair and words to a song he has never known )

“I see someone has missed your presence.” Edelgard sounds amused when she has found him, days after they have returned home. One glove has been sacrificed to the noble cause of trying to keep the cat entertained while he does his work ( however, he has a sinking feeling that the quill pen will attract its attention sooner rather than later, and he will have to make sure the ink is a safe distance away from the papers ).

“It is disappointing to know a cat shows me more affection than most people.” He says solemnly— does not mean a word of it, but does need to acknowledge her in some form.

“Very funny. Any changes since you been back?” She inquires, flipping through one of their other tomes as a means of amusement.

“No. No harm no foul, I suppose, but the issue is that we don’t really know what happened.” Putting aside his paperwork for the moment, he grabs the spellbook to flip through its pages again. “I’m sure there’s an explanation in here somewhere, it’s just a matter of where. Although worst case, I do think we will soon be in contact with a more experienced spellcaster to solve this for us.”

“At least there’s some progress.” She leans over his shoulder to look as he scans pages idly— sticking her hand out after a moment. “Wait, let me see that.” She turns back a few pages, finger pointing to one section in particular. “Hubert, I think this is the answer to our issue.” She pats his shoulder before leaving, seemingly satisfied with the conclusion she’d reached. He stares after her for a moment before turning back to read text he has probably read before, and—

“A love spell of any variety will not work in the case of the intended target being infatuated with the caster or intended recipient of said affections.” He reads aloud, as if in disbelief— he has read this text before. It does not help him feel any more or less certain of the possibility that Ferdinand had been in love with him from the start.

But there’s still something that doesn’t quite add up, in his mind.

( He just can’t quite put his finger on what exactly )

As per usual, the answers are staring at him right in the face, and the realization comes to him suddenly, in the middle of his morning coffee. He scoops up the cat from where it had been laying at his feet with a mewl of complaint— he ignores it for the moment for the sake of some peace of mind as he stalks down the hallway.

He had always assumed this cat had been one of kitchen cats, but when he thinks about it, the first time he’d seen it was on the same day as a certain persons’ arrival. He comes to a stop outside Bernadetta’s door and knocks; this is one of those occasions where her being an introvert was to his advantage, and thankfully she is there to open the door soon enough.

“Ah— Hubert! I’m sorry, was she bothering you?” The orange stripped tabby is pulled from his hold with a meow that the both of ignore, head bowed slightly. “Edelgard, ah... Lady Edelgard mentioned that she’s stalked a claim in your study.”

“No, it is quite alright.” He only needed to affirm his suspicions, anyhow. “However, since you will be leaving soon, I figure it is for the best she does not get too attached, yes?”

“Ah— right! Y-Yes, we only have a few more days here, so...” She trails off, demeanor sullen. He does not have the time for it— nor is he very good at dealing with such emotions, so he simply glosses over it.

“Right. Do enjoy your remaining time outside of your room, perhaps? And if I do not see you again before you leave, safe travels.” Without waiting for a response, Hubert turns on his heel and sets off for his next destination to get the remainder of his answers.

“Don’t give me that look.” Edelgard frowns at the skeptical glance he throws her way— he knows her well enough to know she is speaking the truth and not hiding something this time.

“I would just like to know what exactly was intentionally planned. You were genuinely intending to use it for yourself, I know that much.” Indeed, the emperor may act at times, but the pure curiosity she had approached him with that day had been genuine.

“Sort of, correct. I was initially very curious about its uses, and if we could have used it for anything. And I was going to use it for myself, but...I was actually going to give it to Ferdinand, once we knew it would work.”

“Pardon?” He doesn’t quite follow her logic.

“You always work so hard for me, Hubert. You don’t let yourself be happy. Is it so wrong for me to want to see my friend, my...my brother have something good, for once?” That connection between them is not something they usually acknowledge— he does not say a thing about it other than a slight grimace. An emperor should not be announcing even loose relations to someone like him, nor should she be worried about someone as lowly as him. Her lips press together slightly, a tinge of frustration. “Besides, I am sick of seeing you two looking at each other like that and not do a thing about it. Had we not come up with replicable results, I would have just given him a placebo— I was initially unaware that it wouldn’t have worked anyways, with that catch.”

Hubert is silent for a moment— there’s a lot to unpack in what she’s just said, and quite frankly he does not have the time to think about it. Not now, at least; it may be worth mulling over later. “And Bernadetta’s cat?”

“That part was unplanned. I hadn’t realized she had the cat with her at first. I didn’t know until she brought the book back to me. It worked better to have you under the assumption that it was Ferdinand that was affected, not her cat. All that aside, at least we know it worked, so at least it was not all for waste.”

Everything adds up, more or less.

“I’m...a little unhappy that you decided to do things this way.” Rather— she should not have to devote her energy to something like this. What’s done is done though. “I am happy to be at your side and serve you, do not imply otherwise. But...thank you for looking out for me, sister. You’ve done enough now.”

“Have I?” Her expression looks a little torn— like the natural leader in her, wishing to service her people, has failed. Like she has failed him, somehow; and he wishes he could give her some sense of comfort in this moment. “I’m not too certain. I suppose the rest is up to you two now.”

“Mm. So, I presume you do not need the rest of this to be done, yes?” He inquires, and she shudders after a moment.

“Yes. After witnessing what a...mess this all started, I decided it would be best to take matters into my own hands. We’re best off leaving this to an expert.”

“Why, this is a change in pace; I hardly get asked out by you. Usually I have to be the one to pull you away from your work.” Ferdinand greets, as easygoing as ever. “What a special occasion this must be.”

“You could say that.” Hubert agrees, watching as the other sits across from him. “I believe I have not sufficiently apologized for my recent transgressions, so. Here we are.”

“Ah, so it is not a trick of my nose and you are indeed hiding something from me.” The gleam in his eyes is most certainly one of intrigue now.

“I should have expected you would notice.” He had expected as much, truthfully; a snort as he hands over a bag. “Very well then, take this. It’s from one of our nearby neighbors.”

“It smells not half bad!” Which is probably the closest to a compliment, from him. “So, what is this really about? I doubt you have simply called me out just for this.”

“I thought you might like something to drink while I explain the recent events. As you can see, I already have my drink.” Hubert shrugs as he gestures to his own cup. As horribly humiliating as this was going to be to explain— the sooner he gets this off his chest, the better ( of the secrets he wants to keep, this is admittedly not one of them ).

“Oh? Is that all right with Edelgard?” Still, he’s already reaching for a kettle to pour the leaves into.

“We’ve finished with it, so yes. Although I would appreciate it if this conversation stayed between us.”

“So this isn’t a crest thing.” Ferdinand concludes, and he raises a brow at him.

“Did you think it was? I hate to sorely disappoint, but no.” He waits for the other to finish preparing his tea before beginning to speak. “Lady Edelgard brought to me a spellbook to study. If you recall that brew I stopped you from messing around with, that had been one of the first attempts at trying.”

“Which is why you were so insistent on making sure it had no effect on me, but it hadn’t. Should it have?”

“I had been under the impression so, yes. I found a stray piece of hair in the brew, a shade strikingly close to yours. However, love spells do not work if the target has an affection for the caster.”

“Love...? Lady Edelgard was having you spend time on love spells?” The full of what he has said finally hits, and Ferdinand jerks back slightly. “Wait, I can explain—”

“Let me finish, Ferdinand. Yes, Edelgard was curious, I was curious, if we could make it work then we would have tried other parts of the spellbook.” He opts to leave out the fact that there has been some behind the scenes match making— he will save him from the humiliation of having to know exactly how invested the emperor was in their love lives. “However, as it turns out, I’d left the window open and the brew unattended to while we had tea that day. Bernadetta’s cat had gotten in and shed some of it’s fur, which had ended up in the brew.” He is admittedly not sure how a cat managed to snatch such a heavy book, but he cannot bring himself to care about it, at this point. “This was a recent revelation to me. I figured that after scrutinizing you as much as I have recently, you at least have the right to know.”

“Hubert, are you saying that the reason you were avoiding me was because you thought I might be in love with you?” He speaks after a brief silence, and sounds much more amused than he has any right to be. Hubert pointedly does not look at him.

“I did not think it to be fair to take advantage of you if you had truly been affected.”

“And yet just now, you would have had tried to get me to confess, you dastardly man.” He waggles a finger at him.

“Confess to what?” Behind his cup, he hides a smirk. “I do not recall ever asking such of you.”

Ferdinand holds his gaze with a thoughtful hum, placing his tea aside. “But you were not averse to it either, hm?”

“I—” He inhales sharply, turning his head to look away from him and ignores the ache in his chest. “That is irrelevant to the matter at hand.”

There is only silence for a long moment, before there is the sound of a chair scrapping against the ground. “Hubert.” A hand grasps at his chin, gently turns his head and forces him to stare into unwavering amber eyes. “Please be truthful with me. Do you...”

Ferdinand does not get the chance to finish speaking, because Hubert grabs onto his cravat and closes the gap between them. This was not exactly how he had planned for things to go, but if he’s learned anything as of late, it is that things do not work out as he has planned, so he is okay with this, finally— he can indulge himself in a moment of weakness, if only for one person ( asides from Edelgard, though he would be lying if he said his devotion to her did not waver, for a brief moment, in his mind ).

And just as quick, he pulls away and sits back in his seat as if nothing has passed— if nothing else, he can have a moment of amusement as the other stares at him in shock. Hubert is suddenly hyper aware of himself, and when he feels warmth settling in his cheeks, he begins to turn away; only stopped by lips pressed against his insistently as Ferdinand leans over him.

“Your hair is getting in my face.” He grumbles when he finally pulls back so they can breathe. Admittedly, it is not as much of a problem as he makes it seem; the way his hair drapes down somewhat obscures their faces and provides some sense of privacy.

“Your own hair is already in your face.” Ferdinand retorts, a hint of smugness that has Hubert rolling his eyes fondly as he leans in to kiss such a pleased expression off his face.

[sweetbyte]

Title: Patronus pt.1 

Pairing(s): TodoMomo | BakuMomo (Friendship)

Rating: T 

Summary: Apart of the Lessons in Magic Series/HP AU. Yaoyorozu finds a way to deal with failure, Bakugou tries to help, Todoroki is exceedingly distracting and he doesn't even know..... 

He expects her patronus to be regal and elegant like her.

He’s vaguely aware of others in the room shouting out ‘expecto patronum’ while others, like him, are waiting for Yaoyorozu to succeed, as she usually does. Yaoyorozu has always been far ahead in every class and has been since first year so this will probably be no feat for her. She’ll summon her patronus, the professor will billow “10 points to Ravenclaw!” and everyone will be in awe of her magical prowess.

With a graceful but practiced swish of her wand, she clearly chants the incantation and suddenly silence falls upon the room as nothing happens.

Shouto hears snickers coming from a group of Slytherin girls who have always had it in for the girl as soon as she was sorted into Ravenclaw. Being from the most powerful pureblood house, it was quite the scandal to have broken the generations of Slytherin heirs. They are quickly silenced by an irate Bakugo, whose jaw is clenched at the sight of Yaoyorozu visibly getting distraught. The action is enough to snap most students from the sight and continue their own attempts at the spell.

As she continues to try, her want movements become shaky and her voice is almost desperate. When Midoriya successfully produces what looks to be a phoenix, her eyes widen and her wand falls to the ground. He takes a step towards her, but Bakugo has already let out a stream of profanity quickly picking up her wand and is escorting her, or rather dragging her out of the class. The professor says nothing, as he’s fascinated by the other boy’s patronus. They were only practicing, no one actually expected a corporal patronus.

The Slytherin girls resume their snickering and Shouto ignores the pang of jealousy and truly hopes that the abrasive blond can console Yaoyorozu.

Bakugou gives her space. He doesn’t ask her how she feels. He doesn’t lecture her. He doesn’t try console her with soothing words or gestures. He giver her space to get through her embarrassing episode of anxiety and she’s grateful.

Once she’s calmed down, she apologizes. He naturally scoffs.

“You don’t have to an overachieving swot at everything, you know.” He’s leaning against a castle wall and she resists the urge to nag him for he’s dirtying his robes. Instead she allows a small meek smile and moves to lean next to him, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder. “You should heed your own advice.”

“I am sorry you missed the class babysitting me.” She starts again causing him to nudge her head. “Stop bloody apologizing.” His tone is warning but she ignores it. “You didn’t get to-“

“It wouldn’t have mattered. I know I wouldn’t have been able to produce one anyway.”

“How are you so sure?” Momo moves her head to glance at him in question, but he stares off into the distance with a blank expression. “We are on the same sodding boat, are we not? No happy memories or overwhelming feelings of love to conjure up…”

She lets out a deep sigh and contemplates how what he said was true. The pure hearted, compassionate Yaoyorozu could not conjure up a patronus because she truly had no precious memory she held close to her heart.

“How utterly depressing” She blurts, almost cynically that it surprises her, and she feels him grunt in agreement.

“Truly fucked up, indeed.”

The rest of week was spent practicing summoning their patronus. The rest of the week was also absent of Yaoyorozu’s presence. He tried not to think about how it bothered him. The head girl is the embodiment of academic perfection so a couple of absent days are not all common for her.

Despite practicing, less than half of the class could summon a patronus, and he was not included in that small group. It surprised him that, that didn’t bother him much at all.

He ran into her, literally, on the morning of their break day. She had just rounded the corner of the grounds outside, where the air was chilly, when they collided. She let out a squeak as she fell before him, in slow motion it seemed, and he did his best to catch her mid-air to no avail. She landed in a somehow graceful heap, and laughed sheepishly, not yet looking at him or his outstretched hand.

“Ouch. My apologies! I did not mean to de so unaware of my surroundings! You see there was a cat, and I was trying to see if the poor thing was a stray. Though that is probably highly unlikely, I felt the need to check. It’s rather cold out here for a cat to be wondering around- “

“Yaoyorozu.” He interrupts the girls rambling and her eyes fly open as she jumps in surprise.

“Todoroki! What brings you around here? Oh, do pardon me, that came out incredibly rude! Also pardon me again for being so reckless, you see there was a cat and- “He allows himself to smile at her antics before cutting in again.

“Yaoyorozu, I’ll tell you after you let me help you up. I doubt the cold cement is all that comfortable.”

“Oh, right!” Her laugh is light and melodic, and he notes that her hands are soft despite the cold as he helps her up.

“I am truly sorry” Momo begins again, and he waves her off. “If anyone should be sorry, I think its me. I scared off your cat.”

“No worries, my only concern was for it not to be caught in the harsh weathers.”  

“I was on my way to the library to study charms.” He answers her first question as he watches her pat down her robes.

“I never pegged you as an early riser.” She blurts out.

“Truth be told, I wasn’t. I rather found I now enjoy the peaceful solitude the morning brings. Additionally, the books I needed where usually already booked out by midday.” He nods his head to the direction of the library and she joins him on his trek.

“It appears I owe you another apology.” His eyebrow arches, asking for elaboration and she laughs lightly. “I may have been the one monopolizing the books.”

Nothing can stop the jump in his chest at the sound of her laugh, and nothing can stop the twitch of his lips. “Well, I can’t say I’m all that shocked.” He is not, it makes perfect sense.

“I’ll be mindful in the future” She promises. “Truthfully, most of them are rereads for me.” She admits guiltily, and he relishes the color that graces her cheeks.

He smiles as they come to the split, finally in the corridors of the castle. “No need to apologize. If anything, now I know who to hunt down in the future.” Her eyes widen and he allows himself to smirk at the sight. “That is, if you can manage to get them before me.

Content with himself, he gives her a final nod. “I’ll see you around, Yaoyorozu.”

His blood is warm as he turns to continue down to the library, willing himself to ignore the thunderous heartbeat that is embarrassingly his.

Momo is still frozen when he disappears from her sight around the corner. She’s frozen, but her body is on fire. Her treacherous heart is surely about to implode.

Momo has spent a good amount of her 7 years at Hogwarts fancying this boy, and in her experience of fawning from afar, she cannot say she’s ever seen him smirk. Well, correction, he has smirked but only a handful of times when dueling in DADA.

What’s worse is that it was directed towards her and she doesn’t know what to do. She remembers the muggle saying she learned earlier in the week and pinches herself. Not dreaming, but definitely dazed, and that’s how Bakugou finds her.

“What’s got you looking stupid?”

“Huh?” His face twists and concern paints his face so quickly that its comical and he puts a hand on her forehead.  ‘Huh’ is not and has never been in her vocabulary.

“What the actual fuck? You’re burning up! Don’t tell me you’re sick.” He grimaces, taking a step back in precaution while swiftly retracting his hand. She ends up choking on air, which further deepens his scowl. “You should probably go to the infirmary, you’ll end up worse if you try occlumency today.”

“No! I am not sick!” She argues. They had gotten special permission after some stings where pulled to allow Bakugou to teach her occlumency in efforts to control her emotions after her anxiety episode. Occlumency is mainly used to protect the mind and thoughts, but they concluded that it might assist her in controlling her nerves. Bakugou might not be the most patient person, but what he had been teaching her was helpful.

“I don’t want to hear it. I ain’t taking any chances.” Her nose scrunches up at his comment. His mother would truly be sent to the grave if she heard him talking like that. “I trust you can make it to the infirmary on your own...?”

“What a gentleman, truly. I must insist, I am not- “

“I told you I ain’t-” He rolls his eyes at her obvious distaste “I am not taking any chances, we are done here.”

Again, she’s stuck watching the retreating from of yet another male and sighs. Boys

Bakugou eyes her skeptically when they resume her occlumency lessons in the room of requirement. Momo huffs in response and starts warming up with breathing exercises. Now that he has been teaching her for about a week, he has become rather ruthless when pushing into her mind.

‘You’re not going to get a proper warning if someone wants to bust in, Yaoyorozu! They are not gonna ask for your bloody permission.’

As soon as she’s done, she takes her position in front of him and nods, signaling she’s ready. He only glares before immediately starting his assault.

‘Build a wall’ She remembers him demanding, but the walls are barely holding up. She vaguely recalls the muggle tale of the wolf and the three little pigs before she feels Bakugou push again. She feels a crack in her barrier and that’s all he needs to bust in. Suddenly she’s on her knees gasping as her thoughts and memories she’s tried to hide flash by her leaving her exposed.

Momo is still trying to catch her breath when Bakugou’s shoes come into her line of sight. She manages to look up and catches the grimace on his face while he extends a hand to help her up.

“Am I getting better?” She asks, breathless, as she lets him pull her up to her feet and he snorts.

“I mean, you are lasting longer, but its still fucking easy to read you. I told you to build-“

“Walls. Yes, that is precisely what I have been doing!” She interrupts him, agitated causing him to snicker. “Sure, it is, princess.”

“You doubt me?”

“Its just really bloody hard to believe when the first thing I see is you hot and bothered over that halfie.” Momo squeaks, mortified.

“Your father is one of the best legilimens, is he not? That annoying prick would be dead if your father saw what I did.”

She knows he’s right, so she can only nod with determination. “Again.”

AN// Thank you for reading. I feel like I’m finally getting my mojo back. Just took a year or two, I know. Excuse any error, this is unbeta’d and non proof-read. 

[kyogre-blue]

Nanowrimo, day 29 (wc 1934)

Dungeons -- mysterious buildings of unknown origin that appeared without warning throughout history. Countless dangers lurked within, from impossible terrain, incomprehensible traps, unknown monsters and, most of all, the dungeon master, the djinn. But if one was able to conquer a dungeon, they would be acknowledged as a person who could overturn fate and the world, gaining vast riches and power. 

Djinn -- lifeforms created directly from rukh. They wait deep within the dungeons, in another world, until their dungeon is raised and a challenger enters. If one is able to make it to the treasury, the djinn will judge them to determine whether they have the qualifications of a king and, if so, bestow their great power unto this vessel. 

King vessels -- those that have received a djinn’s acknowledgement and support. By drawing on the djinn’s power, they can wield extreme magic beyond even magicians, and with this power, they are destined to make their will a reality. 

“I see,” Mogamett murmured, once Alibaba’s story had concluded. His thick brows furrowed in deep thought -- and also a glowing, unmistakable fascination. “Djinn, beings of great magic from a long lost era... and you were selected by one of them. Even as a goi, you must be a remarkable one indeed.” 

He smiled again, warm and welcoming enough that Alibaba couldn’t help smiling back even as he tried to demure, flushing, “No, no, I’m not anyone particularly special. I was just lucky that Aladdin was with me.” 

Mogamett chuckled, letting him be. 

But, slowly, the pleasant atmosphere grew serious. 

“The thing is... I think something might have gone wrong when we were returning from Amon’s dungeon,” Alibaba said, his expression growing troubled. “I don’t know what happened, but could you check if there’s anything... off about me?” 

This was a rather vague request and he left out several points, but there was a reason for that -- Alibaba wanted to start from the beginning again, in terms of creating a hypothesis. Yunan and Scheherazade had agreed on the same assumptions, but in the end, they were only assumptions, which Amon even said should have not been possible. And they didn’t line up correctly. 

Alibaba had slowly become more and more aware of it as time went on. 

The strange things he had written off at first just kept piling up. 

Why was he able to wield Amon’s power so well? Even Sinbad, whose instincts were exceptional, took at least some time to work out his weapon equip and still could not go further. But any time Alibaba pressed himself to fight, the way to use his metal vessel came to him with the same ease of long practice as his swordsmanship. 

Why did he feel like he recognized the strange black rukh that the magician Falan used in Valefor’s dungeon? Why did it bring such a sense of terror to him? 

Why did he keep thinking of Cassim? Of Morgiana, whom he barely knew? Of the Fan, of the Kou Empire, of things he shouldn’t have known, really? 

And when he tried to go back to the start and think it over again in his head, he realized... When he told Yunan what had happened from his perspective, he hadn’t left anything out. The last thing he remembered before crashing into Sinbad was Amon sending them out. 

...At that time. That was the last thing he remembered at that time. 

So why was it that, now, he remembered returning to Qishan? Using half his treasure to buy out the slaves there? Meeting Morgiana and waiting for Aladdin? 

Just what was it that had happened to him? 

Mogamett peered at him closely and finally made a sound of agreement. There was a certain understanding in his gaze, as if he could see through Alibaba’s concerns. Perhaps he could. After all, he had lived and studied magic for many decades. There were many, many things that he had seen. 

“Of course,” the old headmaster said, smiling. “Now hold still...” 

Lifting his large, gnarled hand, he waited until Alibaba nodded, then reached out and placed it carefully atop his head. It was heavy and warm, reminding Alibaba of when he was still a child and the adults in the slums would sometimes pat him on the head, to praise him or comfort him. 

“Let’s see here, hm...” Mogamett hummed to himself, closing his eyes and concentrating. Although he seemed to be doing something, Alibaba couldn’t feel any difference. “There is no illness or injury. Your rukh is bright and active, just as it looks...” 

“Yunan and Lady Scheherazade didn’t see anything either,” Alibaba admitted. 

“Lady Scheherazade? Reim’s High Priestess?” Mogamett repeated, faltering for a moment in surprise. However, he composed himself quickly. “Then most likely, you are fine. She is a truly great magician, although I worry about her fighting all alone in that faraway place... All the same, I will check thoroughly, how is that?” 

“Uh... yes, thank you.” 

This time, Alibaba thought he could feel a faint sense of perhaps humming, or a tingling passing over his skin. Even so, there was no strain or pain, and his mind began to drift as he sat still under the headmaster’s examination. 

Then finally-- 

“...Ah,” Mogamett said quietly 

“What? What is it?” Alibaba demanded, raising his head against the weight of his hand. 

“I’m not sure,” Mogamett admitted, drawing back and stroking his beard slowly. “There is no issue with your magoi circulation. In fact, it’s quite strong. Your rukh is also all your own and very clear. But there is something that feels a little strange... just according to my intuition.” He closed his eyes, considering for a moment, and finally asked, “Your memory... have you had any problems?” 

Alibaba’s eyes widened, and he drew a deep breath in surprise. 

That was exactly the issue, wasn’t it? 

~.~ 

Headmaster Mogamett had knowledge of many disciplines of magic, but branches related to the mind were not his specialization. Many other magicians in wide-brimmed, pointed hats were called in, and Alibaba was asked to move to several different rooms and sit in the middle of increasingly complex magic circles carved into the smooth floors, while the magicians of the academy chanted and waved their staves. 

Their expressions ran from disinterest, to concentration, to confusion, to something very strange, something almost like adulation. In the last attempt, the rukh was thick enough that even Alibaba could see it. It really... didn’t give him a good feeling. 

In the end, he was led back to the headmaster’s office. 

Sighing, Alibaba made his way over to the desk and picked up the dagger he had left there, in case Amon’s vessel somehow interfered with the magic investigation. 

He had realized that something wasn’t right, but having it confirmed left him unsettled and on edge. He wished there was something he could do, instead of just waiting. There had always been times when he could only endure, but even in the slums and in the desert, he had at least needed to keep moving forward every day and the motions of that kept him grounded. 

But if it was magic, what could he do? 

If Amon had been able to help, the matter would have been already resolved long ago. And Alibaba had no magic skills of his own. 

So all he could do was obediently follow the magicians’ instructions -- and pace the headmaster’s office afterwards. 

He had long since lost track of how many times he’d circled the room when the thick wooden door finally opened and Mogamett stepped inside. He gestured, and the door closed behind him with a smooth click. This was necessary because both his hands were occupied, one with his customary staff, the other with a simple chalice. 

Alibaba stepped forward to help, but Mogamett waved him aside, and both of them moved back to the desk. When the headmaster set it down, Alibaba could see that the chalice contained what looked like clear water, but there was something slightly off about the way it moved, as if it was thicker than it should have been. 

As they settled across from each other, Mogamett steepled his hands, watching Alibaba thoughtfully. 

Finally, he sighed and began to speak. 

“As you can probably guess, we found an abnormality,” he said. “It was very subtle, but a spell had been used to suppress some of your memories at some point in the past.” 

Before Alibaba could say anything, Mogamett held up one hand. 

“Don’t worry, it was only a suppression. Nothing was altered or rewritten. It was even done very carefully, so as not to cause you any difficulties.” He paused, studying Alibaba again. “It’s as if that magician was focused foremost on being gentle. In fact, that is the reason you became aware of it. They were too gentle, so the spell began to come undone after a while.” 

“...In other words, you don’t think it was an enemy?” 

“I cannot guess what the circumstances may have been, but they must have had their reasons. They are a magician, after all,” Mogamett said simply. “Now then... it is possible for us to remove the memory suppression spell from you, but it may be simpler and safer to let it unravel on its own instead. The mind is a complex thing, and there is always a danger when trying to meddle with it.” 

“O-oh...” Alibaba nodded slowly. 

He should have expected something like this, but it was still... 

It was just too unreal. Naturally, he couldn’t remember how or why this might have happened. He was just an ordinary person. Even his background as Balbadd’s third prince was ultimately nothing remarkable to the world at large. The only magician he remembered meeting was Aladdin. So why in the world would someone have bothered to suppress his memories? What could he have possibly seen or been involved in, to warrant that? 

It didn’t seem like it could have happened to someone like him. What kind of life had he ended up leading after getting Amon? How did it lead to him ending up in this world? 

He couldn’t imagine that for himself. Closing his eyes, Alibaba furiously rubbed at his forehead to dispel the building headache behind his eyes. 

Unexpectedly, the headmaster’s large hand settled on top of his head again, petting gently but firmly. “There, there,” the old man said. “Settle down. It’s not so bad -- there is one more thing.” 

“Huh? What is it?” Alibaba wondered. There was something slightly strange about Mogamett’s tone, but he was in no state of mind to think deeply about it. 

Nodding, Mogamett drew back. “We found something in your rukh. It was very carefully hidden, but I imagine it would come forward if the spell unravelled completely. A failsafe, of sorts. It’s nothing malicious either. Rather, it’s a message. We extracted it. Would you like to see?” 

He gestured to the chalice he had brought with him, standing on the table between them. The water inside rippled faintly. 

Alibaba swallowed, looking at it as if expecting it to attack. Slowly, he nodded. 

Deftly bringing his staff, Mogamett tapped the rim of the chalice, and the liquid inside shifted, no longer quite like water at all. It gathered together, rising up in the center in a vague, blobby shape. Something like a head gradually emerged, along with a strange little loop leading down from it. The shape raised one stubby ‘arm’ and waved. 

“Ya, Alibaba!” it greeted in a tinny voice. 

...It sounded almost indistinguishable, completely unlike a person. And yet. 

This was certainly...

“Aladdin,” Alibaba murmured, stunned.

[colubrina]

The Wiltshire Station Spy pairing:  dramione planned length:  life is filled with unknowns rating:  T prompt:  heat, courtesy of @torrilin AU:  space station

Hermione reached up and tucked some of her sweaty hair back into the regulation cap. The ventilation was on the fritz in this section of the station again, and it was ungodly hot. Sweat trickled down her neck with a teasing itch she wasn’t allowed to wipe at. Her knees hurt from kneeling on the metal floor. Her back ached from bending over.

“Keep working," snapped a voice from above her. “Unless you want to skip your next water break to make up for the lost time.“

It was Dolohov today. He was her least favorite among the DEs. More intelligent than most, and more brutal as well. “What does DE stand for?" she'd asked him her first day here when she’d still thought she might be able to get things done by making friends with the guards. That earned her a zap from one of their wands.

“It stands for don’t inquire" he’d said with a laugh, then kicked her where she lay on the floor, curled around the misery of that zap. Everyone curled into a ball after a wand strike. It was as if they hoped making themselves as small as possible would make the suffering less.

It didn’t.

Even with all the pain she'd been in, Hermione’d thought, you spell 'inquire' with an I. At least she'd had the presence of mind not to blurt that out. They were a sadistic lot, the DEs, and she’d certainly been warned. She hadn’t quite believed it, though, despite all the files and vids and warnings.  “I’m sure I can manage," she'd said confidently when Dumbledore asked one last time whether she could handle an undercover assignment.

It wasn’t as if Voldemort Inc. used skilled labor. The labor was, in fact, so unskilled they generally had no idea they'd volunteered for space station work until they woke with a DE standing over them and welcoming them to their new home. “For the rest of your life," the one who'd zapped her into wakefulness said with a laugh. It hadn't taken a lot of acting to huddle away from him or begin to cry. Even now, two months into her three-month assignment, Hermione sometimes cried herself to sleep at night. It was the exhaustion, she told herself. Or maybe the frustration she learning a hell of a lot about second stage space station construction but not a damn thing about how Voldemort Inc. was laundering money. Grunt labor never got the chance to wander unsupervised through any of the corridors, much less through ones that lead to intel. She couldn’t think of a lot of things she dreaded more than sitting back at Order headquarters and confessing she’d utterly failed.

Well, she could think of one thing. Not getting pulled out of this hell hole at all.

“But I don’t want to have to go to school on the surface." Hermione recognized the petulant whine at once. Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy, one of the chief stakeholders in Voldemort Inc. and supervisor for the construction of Wiltshire Station. None of the workers cared for young Draco.

Like Hermione, most of the kidnapping victims who ended up here were in their mid-teens. The Order speculated Voldemort was targeting that age because runaways were easier to snatch up and fewer people missed them. Seeing a boy who had everything sashay past them, complaining his data connection was too slow or that he hadn't like the cake at dinner filled the work gangs with a special kind of loathing.

Draco Malfoy seemed oblivious he was walking through a gang of people who'd happily beat him to a bloody pulp if not murder him outright.

“The gravity is too heavy there," his whining went on. “I don’t see why I have to go. Why can't I just keep working with tutors the way I have been?"

“You cannot," came the cultured voice of his mother. Narcissa Malfoy, age forty-one, no known allergies, at least according to the preparation Hermione had done planetside. She’d been born to money and was as distant from the bent over children trying not to be noticed as a person could be.

Being noticed was bad. Being noticed brought the attention of the DEs and their wands. Wands brought nothing but pain.

As the pair of aristocrats strolled along the walkway, the workers around Hermione bent over and worked even more assiduously.  I’m nothing but another cog in the wheel of your empire, their bent spines might as well have said.  I’m working hard.  I’m good.  Don’t see me.

But being noticed might get Hermione closer to something she could bring back with her. Something that would keep her from failure.

She lifted her head and sneered at the spoiled brat as he approached. He was pale and wispy the way most station dwellers were. No sun. Gravity a bit low. It made him seem fey and delicate, and her planetborn body thick and slow by comparison.

God, she hated these people.

“What are you looking at?" Draco demanded when he caught sight of her upturned face. “Stupid mudblood."

“Language, Draco,” his mother admonished. She glanced down at Hermione, and her mouth moved into a moue of distaste. Under that cool appraisal, Hermione flushed. Labor was permitted one sonic shower per week, and it wasn’t enough to keep you anything close to clean. Sometimes, at night, she fantasized about taking a long water shower when she got back. Narcissa Malfoy didn’t look as if she were restricted to the sonics, and neither did her son. It was one more way she looked beneath them. Coarse. Heavy. Dirty,

“They're going to eat you alive on the surface," Hermione said. She didn’t bother to hide the satisfaction in her voice. Looking at their contemptuous expressions, she reveled in the knowledge that station brats were almost universally despised planetside. She wanted Narcissa Malfoy to hear her speak, but combining that with her real opinion felt very satisfying, so she added one more word. "Spacer."

One of the DEs raised his wand and pointed it at her. “You mind your mouth when talking to your betters, girl," he said. He probably would have zapped her, but Narcissa Malfoy raised a hand to stop him.

“No one grabbed you out of the slums," she observed. Her eyes slid up and down Hermione‘s sweat-soaked body. “Not that one can tell by looking. Where are you from?"

"Why don’t you check the records?" Hermione said with all the arrogance and contempt one would expect from the most privileged of teens. She half-expected an immediate zap for that and cringed a little in anticipation. The DEs didn't tolerate mouthiness. But her ploy worked, and hearing that second sampling of Hermione's cultured accent, Narcissa Malfoy began to smile. “Public school, was it?" she asked. “How did you end up here? Addiction? Family throw you out for a pregnancy?"

“I was hitching a ride to Paris," Hermione said. That was her cover. "And when my parents find out I’m here, they’re going to shut this place down."

“Likely story," sneered Draco, but his mother looked, if anything, even more smug then she had a moment before.

“What a tragedy for you," she said. “What did you say your name was?"

It was working. Oh, dear God, it was working. After two months of hot, sweaty labor without a break in sight, she might finally have a chance to spy on these monsters before her fake but very wealthy parents lit up the Transcom with shocked demands for her return. “Hermione Groton–Rees."

"Get Miss Groton-Rees cleaned up," Narcissa Malfoy ordered Dolohov. “And with a real shower too. I don’t want the grime removed from her, but the stink still in place.“

“Of course," he said, doing everything but touching the brim of his uniform cap in Narcissa's direction. He eyed Hermione with a new touch of wariness in his mean blue eyes. If she were a rich girl, he might be in trouble. You couldn't exploit children of the wealthy the same way you could runaways and orphans. There were different rules for the sorts of people with hyphens in their names. Classist nonsense ran so deeply in his soul, he probably hadn't considered she might be a person the same way he was until this moment. Hermione curled her lip with genuine disgust.

“What are you doing, mother," Draco demanded.

“There will undoubtedly be a small amount of culture shock when you arrive at Hogwarts," Narcissa said calmly. “Miss Groton-Rees will do her best to fill you in on the differences between life on a station and life planetside, and that will make your transition easier. When she’s done, I will, of course, send her back to her parents with our deepest apologies she was temporarily waylaid here."

“What if I don’t want to help your little brat?" Hermione asked.

“Computer records disappear every day,” Narcissa Malfoy said. “And I understand a lifetime of manual labor is good for the soul."

Real fear of that possibility froze Hermione. Narcissa saw the reaction and smiled. “Excellent," she said in a soft voice. “We understand one another." She swept away in a flurry of expensive, natural fabrics, Draco at her heels. He didn't look back, though Hermione glared at his pale head until it disappeared around a corner.

Then she stood up. She’d been kneeling at Narcissa Malfoy's feet for the entirety of their conversation, and that rankled more than a little. “Well," she said to Dolohov. “I want that shower." When he didn't move, she added, "Now."

More:   (FFN | AO3)