#i cant eat i cant breathe i cant function

[canceriancryptid]

my ex landlord is lying about me and i cant breathe

i cant even fight it if i want to be able to rent anywhere in the future

my friends told me my only option is to go to the mediation and then settle

either way, she wins and i have to just figure it out

[codacheetah]

I can't believe I made a post abt Loop's biology and didn't talk abt their guts. Sad

[theood]

falling down an aba therapy rabbit hole god so many people just treat autistic people with fluctuating abilities as subhuman there is always a better workaround for kid AND parent but really its not about the parent here its abt the kid

[robotpussy]

just got these CBD gummies if they don't work I don't know what the fuck I'll do

[yuyu1024]

Escape

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.8k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: continuation of Prisoner.

I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.

(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)

***

Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.

Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.

At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.

But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.

"Excuse me?"

You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.

"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.

"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks

"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest

She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."

You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.

"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."

"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."

"It's fine. I understand."

She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.

"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."

As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.

You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.

You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.

Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.

"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past

"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."

She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."

Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.

'Is she an ex of his?'

'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'

I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.

Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.

"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.

"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"

You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.

You turn around immediately before she could response again.

This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.

You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.

You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.

You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.

"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.

"How... do you know who I am?"

He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass

"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"

He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."

"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"

"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"

You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.

He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.

1. Don't cut your hair short

2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him

3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard

4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)

5. Use the safeword during sex

And etc.

The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.

"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.

After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.

As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.

Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?

These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.

They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.

Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?

Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.

"What are you doing here?"

Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.

He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.

You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?

"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up

"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.

"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.

"You know... you can't drink."

"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly

"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."

Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.

Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.

"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds

Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.

Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.

"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.

That was it?

"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.

"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.

Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.

"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him

***

"Get in." He orders you

Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.

"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.

"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.

We are now isolated.

He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.

"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say

He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."

Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?

Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.

This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.

"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."

"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."

He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.

"Wait..."

He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.

"I'm sorry..."

"What for?" He asks

"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper

Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.

"He might hear us..." you whisper

"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.

***

After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.

"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."

They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.

"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.

Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.

"Y/n..."

You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.

"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"

"Why?"

He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.

"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.

Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.

Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.

"Aren't you getting in?"

You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.

"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.

After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.

Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders

"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.

"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."

"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.

'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.

"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes

You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.

*pings*

The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.

"Where are you going?" He asks

"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."

"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.

"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.

"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.

"W-what? Why?"

He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.

"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.

"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"

Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."

***

[Flashback to Yoongi's side]

(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)

Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.

However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.

"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.

"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.

"I see."

One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.

"Look who's here."

"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.

"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"

"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.

"It is, Sir. By--"

"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."

"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."

She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.

"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."

You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.

"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."

You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.

You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.

Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.

"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."

[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]

*************

"Miss..."

Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.

"Miss..."

You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.

"It's noon Miss..."

"Oh."

It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.

You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.

"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."

"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble

"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.

"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."

"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.

"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave

"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."

"Sure."

You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.

What happened? You don't know.

The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.

Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.

When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.

And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.

"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.

"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.

"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged

He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.

"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"

"Y-yes..."

"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."

"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.

His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.

"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.

You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.

"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.

And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.

It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.

And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.

You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.

"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.

You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.

"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"

You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?

After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.

How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.

"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."

*********

"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.

Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.

"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.

"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie

All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.

"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."

Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"

"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."

"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.

"Twenty."

"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."

"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.

"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."

He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.

"Understood." The man replies

"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks

"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.

"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.

"Nothing, Sir."

"Just spit it out."

The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice

And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.

"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."

"So? What's your point?"

"It's just lately...."

Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.

"What are you implying? Just... say it."

Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."

"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.

*****

"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.

To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.

You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.

"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"

You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer

"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.

"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."

She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.

You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.

It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.

"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.

"The middle one." You says.

You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.

"Ahm, Miss...?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"

"Hmm... what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."

"Did he say if he wants to see me?"

The maid didn't answer.

"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."

"Understood." She bows and exists the room.

"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."

Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.

"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."

Part 3 - Twilight

[anticanonsposts]

König my bbg

I truly think this man would be so obsessive about your best interest…..

cw: allusion to disordered eating, lack of self care hehe, nsfw under the cut, mdni

he is for sure the partner to get very upset when asking you what you have eaten during the day, and you respond with coffee and a bag of cheetos.

coming from someone who needs to eat so much just to maintain his weight, he cannot wrap his head around how you are still functioning. 

he will refuse to cuddle you until you get up and eat SOMETHING, this goes the same for water, he will bring you an entire glass and sit like a disappointed parent until you finish it.

he quite literally wants nothing more than for you to take basic care of yourself, and give yourself everything you need to simply function 

sometimes when you are staying up late, mindlessly scrolling on your phone he will just complain and say that HE is tired

he's figured out that this works better than to beg you to go to sleep for your own good

NSFW under the cut mdni

early on in your physical relationship his head was buried between your legs and at one point it sounded like you were sobbing, and could barely catch your breath

this lead to you very fucked out and frustratedly looking down at him as he was gazing up at you with nothing but concern, having stopped what he was doing 

you giggled and assured him that you were fine 

one time you two are fucking in doggy but like sitting up, he takes a breather and you cant reach your water bottle so he leans back to grab his and lets you take a swig while he’s holding it (idk why but for some reason someone holding a water bottle while you drink from it seems hot to me, idk my brain might be broken)

after sex, after a bit of cuddling of course, he is adamant that you go pee, he doesn't want you getting a UTI and will literally lift you off of him if you resist or pretend to be asleep. 

also….man is girthy ok

he refuses to give you his entire dick all at once or without a warm up/foreplay 

he knows how you are supposed to feel, that you aren't supposed to be too tight, the last thing he wants to do is hurt you when he’s supposed to be making you feel good. 

[fanfiction-blep]

That's some plant. 2~ Na'vi Miles Quaritch x Fem/Reader

OKAY LETS GO SIMPS.

Warnings: SMUT, High sex, use of substance, ownership kink, dom/sub dynamic, daddy quaritch. (Its gone midnight for me, so this has not been edited)

Okay so when you wake up! He's all smirky.

"Some flower huh?" You blush at the position your in, legs tabled and hand on his bare chest.

"You know you aren't really supposed to eat those raw? that's a really high dose" "No shit" He snorts shaking his head in laughter. "So how do we take it?" "The Na'vi make tea" "Wanna get high?" He has the BIGGEST shit eating grin. He had so many urges and he was just too fogged up due to the plant, he wasn't even able to explain it to you.

Since it was a high dose he just couldn't function which is a good thing cus he totally wanted to fuck you.

So you go over to your cabinet of medical supplies. Find some dried samples of the plant. Putting them in a tea strainer you don't even look at him, you knew what he was thinking. You are just a small shy bean and just need him to take the first step.

You wait patiently for the tea to brew, fiddling with your hands. "so uh the mix is just as potent, just a lower dose" "that's alright by me sweetheart, just wanna see you act as stupid as i did last night" You knew that there was more hidden behind his smirk, by the way he acted last night you're relationship wasn't strictly professional.

When the tea was done you poured it into two cups, and handed him one. "It'll take a minuet to kick in" You blushed as his fingers brushed against your hand. "is all good sweetheart"

OKAy so when it kicks in you get the giggles, Miles is looking around for whatever is so funny. Points to himself and gets all sad and pouty. "why ya laughing at me" He crosses his arms over his still bare chest. "I'm not! I'm so sorry!" You scramble over to him sitting on his lap poking at his chest.

His tail starts thumping on the soft mattress below you both, eyes wide looking up at you. He reaches one of his hands to cup your face, your own tail starts swaying slowly anticipation building in your stomach.

"You are so pretty-" "Thanks you too" He smiles at you and leans his head against the wall behind him, "do you ever think about how weird it is that we glow in the dark" "Oh my gosh! yes! It's so odd" You jump off of him and run to the light switch, throwing the room into darkness. You attempt to walk in a straight line but cannot, causing you to laugh and bend over and place your hands on your knees.

It takes a minuet but you use the bioluminescent freckles dotting Miles chest and arms, to find your way back to the bed his face being the most visible feature to follow. When you climb onto the bed not on his lap this time miles grabs you're hips and pulls you on top of him.

"I want to kiss you so bad, is that okay?" his breath was heavy you could ld see his tongue coming out to brush against your lips. You nod giving him permission. He leans up and places a sloppy open mouthed kiss to your neck. You begin to purr the feeling of his lips sending electricity to your core.

He leaves more kisses and then starts rubbing his cheek and head against your own, craving the feeling of your skin on his. You involuntarily start grinding down on him and he looses his damn mind.

Rutting up into you're clothed core. Moaning and whining. "Ya so pretty, so good to me" He runs the tips of his fingers down your arms and you cant handle it anymore you need his hands everywhere.

You pull your shirt off your heaving chest and pull your shorts off your long legs. More freckles that cover your body becoming visible to the marine who was no palming himself through his sweatpants.

It was like a road map to him. he wanted to trace every spot and freckle with his mouth.

AND THAT HE DID

He makes you lay down, you wanted to grind on him some more. He leaves a trail of kisses starting at the nape of your neck all the way down to the line of your panties. here he looked up at you unable to see your expressions clearly he needed you to talk.

"I want to touch you, I need to taste you" You simply nodded running your hands over his head clumsily

He rips off your underwear, try and convince me otherwise I dare you.

So he is so sloppy and lazy with giving you head, he takes his time trying to make sure he is making you feel good but due to you both being high as a kite the shared expressions was incredible. All the different senses that are heighted by the plant allowing you to orgasm twice, and you taste like the best meal he has ever had due to the plant.

When he is satisfied that he has eaten you out well enough. He steps off the bed and kicks off the sweat pants, the spots and freckles extended down to his throbbing erection so even in the dark you could see how much he is going to stretch you. He climbs back onto the bed clumsy and laughing to himself a deep rumbling purr growing in his chest as he licks and sucks the skin leading up to your lips.

The first time he kisses you on the mouth is so passionate, it is deep and takes your breath away. You hold onto him hands fidgeting in a desperate attempt to pull him closer. The feeling intoxicating, causing you to grind up against him. Bare skin of your core leaving traces of your arousal against him.

The GrOWls PLEASE

He takes your writs in one hand and holds onto his cock with the other guiding it to your entrance. He pushes the head inside you leaning down to kiss you, swallowing the moans that leave your mouth as he pushes in slowly, inch by inch.

The mewls and whines that leave your mouth make him loose his mind. The plant has intensified every sensation up by ten so the feeling of your walls fluttering around him was almost to much. Him even still inside you was too much and you had to fight back the urge to thrust upwards.

"Please, daddy, Please I need you to fuck me" He leans his head in the nape of your neck and starts moving his hips slowly. "Feel so good for me, my pretty lil thing" Your head is pushing hard against the pillow at the pleasure he is giving you.

Then You start getting real close. "Please I'm so close" He starts snapping his hips into yours at a rapid harsh pace. "Ya gonna cum on my cock? huh ya gonna scream for daddy?" You nod whining at the new pace mixed with the plant still in your situation leaving you unable to talk. "Common who's you're daddy? Who ya belong too Princess?" He removed his hands from your wrist's and starts holding onto your hips.

It's too much you can barely respond to his words before you clamp down spasming underneath him. a strangled "Fuuuck Daddy" fell from your lips followed by incoherent cries. Miles followed close behind you. Pulling out and cumming on your stomach. it only took him a few seconds to try and find a cloth of tissue to clean you up.

He didn't even bother to turn on the lights before he climbed onto the bed and pulled the blanket over the both of you. Kissing the side of your head. Both of you purring intensely.

"You were right, that is some flower" You giggled before falling asleep in his arms again.

[astra-ravana]

Creating Servitors

What is a Servitor?

A servitor is a thought form, an energy, an idea, a spirit, or a living being that exists to perform a certain function. Their process of creation is comparable to making a sigil that activates as a result of magick or ritual. Perhaps a servitor is best defined as a mystical servant, formed of your own thoughts and will, to carry out your wishes. Beyond this, however, they can also make great companions. These creatures can adopt any idea or purpose and be designed accordingly.

Servitor Functions

Servitors can be created to execute certain tasks or work with a specific energy. However, each individual servitor can typically be designated only one function. Some examples of these are as follows:

• To protect you/guard your home

• To manifest things you want/need

• To help produce a desirable feeling (ie: happiness, peace, love, etc.)

• To transform one energy into another

• To act as a spiritual gatekeeper

• To inspire you or act as a creative muse

• To serve as a totem or toulpa

The Creation Process

Step 1- Cleanse yourself and clear your mind: You can't expect your work to amount to a powerful servitor if you're a muddled mess throughout the process. Do a cleansing ritual to remove stray energy and take some time to meditate and orient your mind to the task.

Step 2- Envision your servitor: Before doing anything, form an idea of what you're servitor will be like. Things to consider:

• Are they tied to a physical object or vessel, or are they purely spiritual?

• What is their function?

• What is the rough outline of their contract?

• What is their disposition?

• Do they have any correspondences?

• How will you activate them?

• What is their shut off or "kill switch"?

Having a concept in your mind already makes the actual creation process much smoother.

Step 3- Draw up a contract: Take a piece of paper and carefully pen your energetic agreement with your servitor. You can include as much detail as you like. Be sure to cover their name, function, duties, feeding/maintenance, and a shut off. You may also choose to create a sigil or symbol for your servitor. Be sure to sign your contract and seal it with your blood.

Step 4- Choosing their form: Now it's time to give your servitor a body. If you wish for them to be tied to the physical world you could simply attach them to something like a doll, stuffed animal, figurine, poppet, clay figure, skull, et,. Or you could draw your servitor to give them a body in a spiritual sense. If you cant draw, you can even select an image you feel embodies your servitor and print it up. To summarize, you need some sort of token, figure, or vessel to represent your servitor to make interaction easy.

Step 5- Charging: Charge your servitor by placing it upon your altar or work space. You may light candles of colors that correspond to the servitor's energy, incorporate relevant crystals and herbs, or include anything that you feel empowers your creation. Read the contract aloud, clearly and address your servitor by name, following something to the effect of "I give you life", "awaken", or "I give a piece of my energy so that you may live".

Step 6- Breath of life: When ready, align your mouth with the "mouth" of your servitor and expell a deep breath of air, effectively "breathing life" into your creation.

Step 7- Taking up residence: It's time to give your servitor a proper place in your home. You may choose to keep it on your altar, move it to a secret place, or display it up high. You can even carry it with you, just keep the contract somewhere safe if not with/within the servitor itself. Your servitor is now complete.

Maintenance

Servitors need to be fed, but the good news is you get to decide what they eat. This could be magick oil or herbs, a spoken spell, or a certain type of energy, the possibilities are vast. Feeding your servitor ensures it keeps functioning at full power. This should be done every month or so.

Kill Switches

Including a kill switch or shut off for your servitor is wise in case they become too much of a drain on your energy or you want to redesignate that energy elsewhere. This could be done by sucking the breath out of them, saying some specific words, or physically dismantling the servitor. The choice is your's.

Note: Avoid creating too many servitors. Each one you create borrows a piece of your energy. If you have too many it will drain you and may cause supernatural upset. Limit your work to a few powerful servitors for the best results.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

"dead dove with color and killer"

killer's happy ending... derailed? 🥺😢😭

[cw: mention of abuse, abuse apologia]

honestly that feels plausible. killer's perception of what a functional friendship must be so messed up from his experience with chara and nightmare. he thinks a relationship is between a controller and a controlled. i imagine killer imagines his relationship with color as the first time he willingly submits to the role of being controlled. because he trusts color to handle him with care, to have his best interests at heart, to reform him into a good person.

but sometimes, there's this insidious little urge in killer to usurp color, just like he has with chara and nightmare before. but no, it's not for bad reasons this time - this time, it's for the other person's wellbeing. he has good intentions. he needs - he wants - to protect color from all the bad things that color finds himself in. what good is being someone's tool if your owner can't use you properly?

Cw: abuse, dead dove do not eat, and also yandere type of shit and blood and violence in the edit/audio

Just in time for me to have came across this audio and edit lmao.

But yeah you get it!! This fucker lives and breathes in his trauma that totally isnt trauma if you asked him.

and like. i can picture him trying to teach color how he feels is the proper way to use him. provoking color is snapping and yelling at him, praising him and thanking him whenever color does something to punish him for “acting out” and “disobeying.”

its like a reverse of color reforming killer. where killer is trying to teach and reform color into being someone he’s not because he thinks itll keep color safe. come on, say something harsh and demeaning. break my arm, shove me into the walls, show me my place.

and like..he gets unbelievably confused and irritated when color doesn’t or attempts to be kind to him. he hasnt does anything to earn that, unless it is part of colors game. (In which case he’d kiss colors feet cause yes he’s learning!)

and like whenever killer lashes out or hurts color he always does it from what he believes is a place of devotion and care. color wont take the rest, he keeps trying to help people who use him, he keeps being hurt by the world because he doesnt understand how it works. its ok, killer will teach him. he will break colors legs if that means the man will finally allow himself to rest, and he cant go out where someone can once again try to hurt him.

and he’s never “needlessly”—in his definition—cruel. he always apologizes so sincerely for causing color any pain and always does his best to take care of him and never ever ever denies color what he needs or whatever he wants (except if that’s to leave killer, or to help fools who are using him damnit.) he never plays any games with colors food and drink and baths and clothes and bed.

and it only lets up when color is forced to adapt. stop trying to give killer any say over anything or control, command him to do what you want. make him do what you want. if you want to give him kindness and he attempts to argue back, sharply remind him that you make the rules here, not him.

and like..killer is sickeningly pleased when color adapts. proud of color even.

and color..he feels sick. color cant help but wonder if he should’ve helped killer at all. or if this is the only way he can help him; by making “proper” use of him, even if color must use his authority to..adjust the rules a bit.

and like..imagine after color is forced to punish killer..he like. breaks down. starts sobbing and crying and shaking and like killer, bloody broken mangled killer, is smiling and crawls in his lap and hugs him. wipes away all his tears and heaps endless praise on him.

..aw man this timeline makes me unbelievably sad.

[scrunckled-idiot]

(chat please it took me so long to figure this out)

So uhhg ughm uh-

I got the idea of A survival tf2 horror game based off this post by @the-sound-of-progress (bbg please you haven’t posed in 8 months ☹)

Like my brain is fucked so I like um i- ghuh just hear my idea out please chat-

So the premise of the game is to steal a randomised amount of randomised weapons (min 10 to 15) scattered around the battlefield in 25 or something minuets while giant medic stalks around. Like the game description would be something like:

“what was going to be just a quick and easy heist of stealing some valuable weapons from that freaky base near your town, turns into a deadly game of cat and mouse. as the bases medic has found an interesting way to defend the base at night. Stay out of sight and evade his clutches as you navigate the abandoned battlefield, collect all weapons, and escape back to your vehicle.”

Or something. Like I kept thinking of game mechanics, unique death animations, and achievements for it to. Damn fucking autism. Like firstly how medic would function based on the images.

Medics mechanics and how to counter them:

medic is giant, which means he’ll be slow, right? Makes sense so you could probably outrun him… as long as your sprint meter doesn’t run out. (refillable with MRE packs). In that case, try and take cover in the nearest building.

You’re still not safe yet if you hide in a building. Either medic will wait until you come out (random chance that he will or not), which you can tell he is or not by listening for his breathing or watching for his shadow. Or he’ll try to reach his hand inside and grab you, counter this by pressing against the wall next to the opening.

If you’re atop of a building, he will try to swipe at you or use his bone saw to slash over the roof. Just go further to the middle of the roof to avoid them or just duck.

If he does manage to grab you, time will slow down and you will have a 5 second window to mash the jump button to “wiggle free” or something.

you can bait him to go somewhere else by using walkie talkies. can only use this trick a minimum amount of times before he learns ts a trick.

tid-bits:

At the end of the game it will tell you the total cost of the weapons you stole was, how long it took you, how many MRE packs you ate, and other cool stuff perhaps.

He will hide behind corners of buildings and jump out at you. No counter to this, just a cool jumpscare while he laughs like a fucking madman.

Some Cool and unique death scenes when you’re caught. depending on range:

Long range: shooting a big-ass needle at you from his crossbow, throwing a boulder at you.

Close range: stomped to death, crushed to death, eaten, getting picked up and thunder-cunted into the stratosphere like a baseball, sliced by his bone saw, getting carried away in a comically sized jar.

Player will restart in the spawn rooms or back at the gate if they die.

You’ll know he’s near when the ground starts quaking.

ending cutscene will either have you successfully drive away after stealing the required amount of weapons, or have medic stomp your car while you try to escape if you don't steal the required amounts of weapons. or a secret ending where he follows you home and kills you since you've seen too much (canon ending). not sure what triggers the endings yet.

THERE IS A TIME LIMIT SO YOU CANT CAMP IT OUT PUSSY!!!

Achievements (shitty names tbh someone come up with something better ong):

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away- don’t die once during the whole run

monk diet- don’t eat a single MRE pack during the whole run.

Wiggly woo- escape medics grasp every time you’re caught.

by the skin of your teeth- escape with the good ending.

midnight snack- get the bad ending

you didn't see anything- get the secret ending

Uhhhh… some other ones I cant think of yet. sorry :(

I wanted to do voice lines as well but I couldn’t do it, felt cringe. He’d mostly just use voice lines from the game anyway. Typical laughter and taunts. And Probably some cool things that im not creative enough to think about. Maybe deaths will also have a zestier variant just to awaken something in someone. But ye, just something I came up with within the span of a day. Now wanting this to be real and not fiction :( maybe some kids doing game design in my collage will bring my idea to life? Idk man no promises.

Thank you for listening to me autistically ramble about my tf2 g/t horror game pitch. that is all.

Well, off to hang myself! Watch and lear-

*gak*

[gamblersdoll]

I'm thinking about Nerd having to come to Guts' house because of a shared school assignment, but Guts keeps harassing her and distracting her from studying.

teasing, suggestive themes, groping, dominating, sadism/masochism.

“can you stop?” you groan, trying to paw away at his hands. “we’re supposed to study!” you shout, holding back a moan when he takes your breast into his hand.

he mocks your words, hands finding any plush skin to grip or slap. “i am studying. you.” he snickers, biting your shoulder and you bit your lip. “besides, i can assign myself to you and those wonderful tits of ‘yers..”

“guts— im serious!” you say, shoving him off, how you never knew that would be the biggest mistake.

he takes his hand around your throat, squeezing enough to constrict air flow and is face to face with you. his other hand is gripping your ass. “the fuck you think this is?” he growls, all playful now gone. “did i tell you to push me away?”

you feel yourself being forced into submission, looking up at him and trying to swallow.

“huh? did i tell you to?” he says, softly slapping your face. “got three seconds to answer.” he says, laying you on his bed and hes hovering over you. “one.”

you shake your head, or at least attempt to.

“oh, thats right.” he says, pulling your skirt up and landing a hard slap. “i didnt.” you choke a moan out, squeezing your thighs and then get yanked back up to look at him. “look at me when im fucking talkin’ to you.”

for him being this rough, you need him rougher.

“now, yer going to sit on my lap and we gon’ finish this little project we got to do. and if youre good enough then ill slip you somethin.” he smiles, soft but hard enough to land a slap against your face. “you understand, cockwhore?”

you nod, tears welling up and feeling your leaky hole start to drip. you wince when he rubs at the handprint on your ass, pulling you into his lap.

you thought he’d be joking, but maybe about fifteen minutes in, you feel him harden under your throbbing pussy. thirty minutes in, hes soothing your waist, rubbing the curves and now your heavy breasts.

“guts—“

“focus.” he said, you hearing his zipper go down. it took not much time to feel him tap his cock against the fatter part of your ass. how could you possibly do that?

“fat fuckin’ ass..” he groans, putting his hands on your ass and squeezing it.

you shake the grotesque and lewd thoughts away, going back to what you were saying.

“anyways, the uh, formaldehyde is used in embalming and..” you start, but he gets close to your ear and pinches at your clothed nipple.

“yeah?” he says, a evil grin on his face. he hears your heavy breathing, he can also feel your pussy pulsating. “keep goin, dont you worry ‘bout me.”

you try to form your words, reading the information that was given to you and thats when you feel it.

you feel him rubbing your clit through your panties.

you close your thighs tight, receiving a slap to your left thigh and you whine. “open.” he says, pulling your knees apart with one hand and resting it on your pussy. “keep goin’.”

you cant possibly function like this, begging and pleasing for your hips not to move on their own.

“smell so fuckin good.” he groans, sniffing at your neck. “want to eat you up..”

“guts please!—“

“yeah, keep yellin’ my name.”

“after we finish this you can have me.” you try to suggest, looking to him.

“i already got you in my grasps, nerdwhore. try again.” he says, rolling your nipple in his fingers. he looks down at your contorted face, watching you moan and squeeze your eyes has him pumping slow strokes on himself.

“when we finish the assignment, you can do whatever!” you shout, having him stop and look at you.

“as in i get to bend you over and fuck you, then have you layin on me?” he asks, eyes low. you nod, having him grin and squeeze your jaw now. “open.”

you oblige, opening your mouth and him spitting in it. you swallow before he tells you to, earning a kiss on the nose, lips , then cheek.

[themolluscasometimes]

(if you havent seen dmeon slayer s3 or read the mange this has spoilers)

okay no but look-

who tf. gave genya a sword an told him to go to final selection

It's stated that Genya calmed down and mellowed out after getting Gyomei to train him. ALSO he got mega buff between when we see him at final selection and when he see him next like yeah he obviously had a growth spurt but the point is he went from scrawny to brawny. He was also a giant asshole at final selection so like. Genya 100% only got trained by gyomei after passing final selection.

Which MEANS either someone ELSE sent a kid that cant use breathing to final selection with a sword OR he got himself there. I dont believe anyone wouldve willingly sent him given how important breathing is to the demon slayer corp

also. The only trainers we really see are hashira or former hashira. Im SO convinced there are other that we don't see given that not every water breather couldve been taught by Urokodaki but it still makes sense that these teachers are retired professional demon slayers that lived long enough to be no longer in active service even if they aren't hashira

which leaves us with options:

OPTION 1:

genya tried to learn breathing from a cultivator/some other demon slayer, failed, stole a nichirin sword and probably shook the poor sod down to get info on the when and where for final selection

OPTION 1a

When the person who tried to teach breathing to Genya refused to continue after finding out he cant Breathe Right, said teacher was too strong for genya to really do anything about it (see: they're teaching him and it seems likely that the teachers of demon slayer tend to be upper ranked at least) Genya fucked off and assaulted some weak random demon slayer to steal a sword from and get info

Or, you know, something along these lines because he had to get a nichirin sword and infomraiton from somewhere, and Im doubtful it was willingly given to him since he like. cant fucking breathe.

HOWEVER

when we see him at the end of final selection, he's like. mega obsessed with the sword thing. like. super. like yes these are special swords but here's the thing everyone there already has one of the special swords, just not one of their own.

It kinda maybe implies that Genya. Doesnt have a special sword. So.

OPTION TWO:

Genya has been roughing it with a regular ass sword for seven days and given that he can't Breathe his primary form of defense would've been step one: cut the demons arm off. step two: monch. step three: beat the demon to within an inch of its life with demon enhanced brute strength until he can get away or force it die in the sun.

In which case Genya was not likely to be doing much direct demon slaying during those seven days.

(even if he HAD a nichirin sword theres no guarantee that without breathing he wouldve been strong enough or skilful enough to use it to kill all the demons he ran across but given how obsessed and intense he is with getting his hands on a nichirin blade and how much not one single person would want him to go to final selection, i honestly think he had just some random sword. It would explain why he's so desperate to get one, other than being generally unhinged. Anyway-)

While everyone else was roughing it, surviving and slaying demons in the night, Genyas experience of the final selection exam was somewhere between a survival challenge and an all you can eat buffet, with not a lot of demon slaying involved.

can u imagine being part of his cohort and running across some dude that needs you to cut off this demons head thats missing a suspicious amount of its body bc he doesnt have a nichirin sword for some fucking reason. also he has really, really, fucked up eyeballs.

can you imagine watching one of your fellow exam participants use a sword only to defend himslef bc its a functionally useless offense only to attack by eating the fucking demons.

can you imagine seeing him at one point, looking a certain way bc hes been eating a demon and then seeing him again later looking human. or looking like a different demon. or both.

can u imagine struggling to feed yourself during these seven days and this man is having a straight up feast. and also couldnt be assed to show up with a sword for demonslaying to the exam for fucking demon slaying

[echoesofadream]

is adhd medicine (concerta) supposed to make me feel like this

-all the ways which when it comes to function, I am more, and all the ways I am not I am less

- i do things super fast, everything is a hurry .I get things done but a most of them are bullshit like tumblr blogging or checking every internet chronic kpop fan fomo outlet there is .

-I cant do something that isnt top priority in the world because I cant relax enough to do that. its better to sit on the floor and be in prepared mode instead of reading or painting or anything like that

-i have never been on speed but I would assume it feels like this based of the name

-I feel like I can do anything! except read a single page of text of course. thats literally impossible

-everything is on fire I need to put the fire out. right now. first though. where is it

-cant do anything that doesnt give instant gratification (what I mean by adhd medicine induced adhd)

-did I mention that Im quick. and super active. wait the h in adhd stands for hyperactivity....this is wrong...I do this and this and this and this and this and STOP. IM STUCK:

-incredibly hard to move out of situation when im stuck in it. like i could be doing ANYTHING and im like. I cant stop. doing this. whatever it is. I cant move on. this is a familiar feeling that everyone has including me before medicine but now it's like. so much worse. you know the feeling when you cant get out of bed. or youre in the couch and too lazy to get ready for bed. this is like that but dream (nightmares when you cant move) level of lethargy. its like im sitting at the kitchen table. I just got home. but then it's been three hours. and Im still sitting there doing whatever im doing. it's like. so bad. im like. I need to shower. okay this has been sort of an obstacle for me sometimes. but now it's like. shower. I need to shower. hours pass. I havent showered. maybe I just wont shower today. this dysfunction is making me realize how functional I can be in some areas of daily life actually.

-^above would be good if I was working a busy job when things happened all at once. and I had to get things done and not get distracted. but im literally an unemployed uni dropout. im trying to increase my level of focus. im trying to learn how to be in the present and breathe and be less anxious. this medicine is doing the absolute opposite for me. I started this medication because I want to be able to study but how is this supposed to help be in any area in life except like working at the ER or if my job is just answering emails and that kind of thing. all I can do right now is make posts, talk during movies (never been a me thing im very serious about silence during film watching), have a stomach ache and too fast heartbeat, actually work on a novel instead of creating a document that I abandon after the first and only time I write on it, be anxious, eat hot chip and lie

Help??`????????

[freebooter4ever]

One thing i am learning:

so leading up to this from the end of my stomach virus on July 1st till July 27th I was having huge gas issues with my stomach. Lots of bloating, lots of farts, just so much fun. But then around July 25 the farts slowly stopped happening but thats when instead the gas seemed to be getting trapped in my gut and just not coming out. And i suspect that's what was triggering the panic, heartrate, breathlessness, etc. So after this last monday while with my friends my goal was to get the farts to come back, which probably sounds insane but keep in mind my brain has not been fully functional lately. So on wednesday, the best day this week and when i felt the most normal, oxygen levels back to 99, when i took the probiotic and experienced the most farts/gas/etc i thought that was what i was now aiming for.

But the interesting thing now is that after completely overhauling my died and only eating bland foods / high fiber foods / vegetables, both friday and this morning i have not had much gas at all....but i also am not having that intense difficulty breathing reaction despite eating more calories than i have in days. Tldr i think a combination of being on the probiotics plus eating foods that are easy to digest has stopped the bloating rather than just let me fart more to release the bloating. So i guess thats my new goal: to get to a base stable point where im eating a healthy bloat free diet. And not feeling like im starving all the time. Yay.

Ngl im gonna really fucking miss my terrible eating habits but i think i knew that one day they would come to bite me in the ass. Im hoping eventually i will be able to eat things like pasta and cheese and stuff again, but thanks to that terrible virus i had i think i have to be extra careful with my gut now. Ethan kindly spent like an hour of his lunch break talking to me on friday and that was one of the things he joked about - that as sad as it is at some point in the aging process our bodies change and cant handle stuff we used to. He's been helping me out with easy food to start introducing into my diet thats significantly healthier than like...pasta...and cheese. (ethan also had some scary health issues related to oxygen levels and has an aunt who is a doctor so he was able to put my mind at ease a lot about what's been happening, and make me feel less insane)

[stiffyck]

oh hey, angsty mumbo AU idea!

I had this idea a few months ago where Mumbo was the only one who didn't make it out from season 8. The idea was that his suit got caught on something and ripped, so when they fell into the void, mumbo was the only one who died and respawned back in boatem.

well, the world gets destroyed and mumbo has nothing to do. hes all alone, all other hermits are gone, maybe even in season 9! mumbo is lonely and hes in a constant death loop- he has no clear water to drink, no food, nothing that could keep him alive. its just a miserable life of trying to survive where its impossible. the world was destroyed, all crops gone, all animals dead.

so, mumbo, tired of dying over and over again of starvation decides that hey, what do i need my stomach for! its not like i have anything to eat here! so he replaces it with a mechanical part. open surgery on himself and all.

but then- more problems arise. i mean, his body needs food and water, but his stomach now doesnt need it! and hey, he has breathing issues because of the dirty air, so why not replace the lungs next!

and slowly but surely, mumbo replaces almost everything with redtone and mechanical parts.

at some point, mumbo decides its not worth it. he cant kill himself, he has no way out of here and he has no one to spend the eternity with. so, he decides that hey, if he just... turns himself off, it wont be a problem! his consciousness wont exist anymore! he wont have to think!

so he does exactly that.

meanwhile in season 9, grian and the rest of the hermits are worried sick. everyone is there but mumbo. so for the next months, grian makes the rift and tries to make it function.

and when he does and tries to bring mumbo back- he gets someone, who spent years completely alone, constantly dying.

[im-gonna-squeet]

Donnie burnout fic

Donnie is exhausted and finds themself unable to do the tings they normally can, and knows one person that can always help.

ao3

Donnie was having a bad day. A bad week– a bad month, even.

None of their projects were going right, their joints were acting up, they couldn't sleep properly, they'd gotten injured on what should've been a fairly easy mission, and now, they hardly had the energy to eat or talk.

It wasn't fair. They could usually work for days or weeks uninterrupted — with the exception of sleep and snack breaks, of course, their siblings wouldn't let them neglect themself like that, and they could never turn down Angelo's cooking — and be fine. They could make anything he wanted. So what was different this time?

What had changed?

Why couldn't they do this?

What was wrong with them? And how could they fix it?

Donnie didn't like change, which made such a drastic pivot in their ability all the more distressing (which, in turn, made them feel worse, feeding the cycle like an ouroboros).

Logically, they knew that rest would be the best thing, and they honestly wanted nothing more than a nap, but they couldn't when they were this stressed because they had so much to do. And none of it was going to get done. Because their stupid brain couldn't just function correctly!

There wasn't even that much to do. They ENJOYED doing these things! What was the point if they couldn't even do the one thing they were good for!?

They slammed their newest failure on the desk, breathing hard.

"shit." They winced and rubbed at their watery eyes under their glasses. Closing their eyes, they tried to even out their breathing, snapping them out of that all too familiar spiral.

This wouldn't help. It would only make it worse. They needed to not be alone right now. So they grabbed their phone and texted the first person they thought of.

ctrl + c

Don-Bon: Cn i cme sit w u?

Don-Bon: yes pls, ly

Nardo: yea im in my room

need a portal?

Nardo: ly2

Moments after that last text was sent, a small, vibrant blue portal opened up right in front of them.

They reflexively lowered their third eyelid to shield themself from the brightness.

Once they stepped through, they saw Leo sitting at the corner of his bed, leaning against the wall with one knee to his chest, controller in hand.

Donnie said nothing as they flopped next to their twin, leaning against him with their legs folded over Leon's, softly butting his head with their own.

Returning the headbutt, Leo reached down and pulled a weighted blanket out from beside his bed, wrapping it around his twin. "You okay, hermana?" he asked, not removing his arm and resting his head on top of Donnie's.

Donnie relaxed, glad to have their twin as company. They hesitated slightly before shaking their head, manifesting a small teleprompter screen in front of them. ‘bad. cant talk rn’, it read.

“ok, that's alright, I'm just gonna finish this game and then we can watch something, yea?” Leo rubbed their arm before removing it to continue gaming.

Donnie nodded, slumping further into Leo's side as they watched him play.

~~~~

After Leo finished his game, the twins wordlessly agreed on watching The Great British Baking Show, calm but still fun. Leo grabbed his laptop with one arm, wrapping the other around Donnie before shimmying them both into a lying position.

From there they shuffled around a little, finding the optimal snuggling position, then positioned the laptop at a comfortable angle for both of them.

"This ok?" Leo asked.

Donnie nodded.

After a few minutes, Leo spoke up again, "wanna talk about it?", he ventured.

Donnie took a breath, fiddling with their hands as they deliberated on how to word it.

The teleprompter re-appeared. 'it feels like nothings going right recently. And logically I KNOW that it's not my fault, but I can't help but blame myself, y’know? Im supposed to be the genius, the one that fixes everything. If I can't do that then what CAN I do?'

Leo took a moment to process the message, absentmindedly running his hands over Donnie’s neck and shell in soothing motions. "Tello I know you find this difficult to believe, but you are absurdly intelligent and so good at so many things, i mean you created ACTUAL, SENTIENT AI and are raising him better than our dad raised us, you're incredible in so many ways but you're working yourself too hard, you're burning the candle at both ends and it's unsustainable. Burnouts like these are going to happen when you do this to yourself.”

And Donnie knew these things, of course they did, but it was really really nice to hear it from someone else, especially someone they cared about so much. 'I know and I want to stop but I don't really know how? like i've been doing this for so long i don't know what else to do'

Reading this, Leo leaned over and kissed Donnie on the head, staying in that position whilst he talked, "im proud of you, Dee, we're all so, so proud of you, and we'll help you figure it out. All of us."

At this Donnie felt the prickling of tears in their eyes as their vision blurred. They didn't try to stop a quiet sob from escaping them, 'I love you'

"Aww, Dee, I love you too" Leo wrapped both of his arms around them, holding them close. They stayed like that for a while, Donnie quietly crying his frustrations into Leo's chest as he softly told them how loved and cherished and valued Donnie is to everyone they know.

And after a while, Donnie calmed, and Leo asked a question he already knew the answer to, "Do you wanna invite Apes over for a movie night tomorrow?"

Donnie nodded, already thinking about what movies to watch and meticulously going over every detail.

"Good, but for now, how about we watch some idiots bake and you can tell me exactly what they're doing wrong?". Donnie grinned, wiping the stray tears from their face as they prepared to make Leo regret ever suggesting that.

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