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#i didnt properly cry about it all but today i just cried and cried and cried
kimmkitsuragi · 2 years
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i think my brain is catching up with. everything. just now
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sirens-sanctuary · 1 year
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ache
miguel o'hara x gn!reader
. TW!: miguel fluff, missing home, parent angst, crying ):
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. i had another little thing i wanted to type out, was thinking about it last night, this isnt proofread like the last one- just typed up and posted~ more in the a/n!
. masterlist, rules, and taglist below~<3
๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑
today was a special day. miguel was here tonight. its been so long since hes spent the night with you. Hes always away saving the multiverse, in and out of your apartment- just to stay and watch over you as you slept. him being away takes a lot out of you...but you were used to it. Used to important people leaving you, coming and going out of your life. But miguel has an excuse, he has more important things to do than stay locked up in your lonely apartment- so its okay. thats what you tell yourself...
you two were laying on your small couch, miguels legs hanging off the arm as hes two big to fit properly (big ahh sexy man), you were laying on top of miguel. your ear to his chest, enjoying the rising and falling as he breathes slowly and calmly, listening to to the muffled and steady beating of his heart. you could listen to it all day. the warmth from his large hands resting on your back, bringing a familiar feeling of safety and comfort. the movie you were watching was one of your favorites, you watched it all the time whenever youre feeling alone. the patter of miguels heart was pulling you into a state, it brought back a memory for you. a good one, you think. you indulge in the memory allowing yourself to be taken back.
you were younger, 7 or 8 years old maybe? you were laying on the couch with your dad, relaxing and watching a trashy film. you were laying on his chest, laughing wildly at the scene on tv, while he draped an arm over you, half asleep but jolting everytime you laugh, smiling gently down at you before being stolen by sleep again. he was a busy man, working all night and into early hours of the morning, doing enough to make sure you and your siblings were okay before going to sleep. It was good. a good memory. you miss him. You love him?.
you were pulled out of your memory by miguel rubbing your shoulder. he asked if you were okay?.. okay? am i ok? you started sobbing. tears staining his shirt. miguel sits the both of you up and scoops your face up. he asked whats wrong. you told him. told him more than what you needed to. he rubbed your cheeks from the tears that littered them and kissed each. he hugged you. nice and tight. safe and warm. you never wanted to leave. you knew you would have to. you cried more. tired of people leaving.
you didnt stop crying. well you did- but only because you fell asleep during it. you needed to cry. youre tired of keeping the flood gates up. somethings gotta give. you gave. youre tired of giving. miguel stayed and held you the entire time. hes there for you. always. he built his arc and survived the flood. he'd do it a million times over. he would swim in your flood just for you. he doesnt care if hes drowns. he'll figure it out. Just for you. Always for you. You need it. You deserve it...
๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑ ๑۞๑,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۩ ร𝓲ᖇᵉŇ. ๑۩ ,¸¸,ø¤º°°๑۞๑
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. a/n: this is actually a memory i had a while back and thought itd be something to build upon for a fic- i hope its not too sad omg im sorry if it is
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masterlist | rules | taglist
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saltymongoose · 2 years
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I love children (sarcastic)
Hi i have a funny yet embarrassing story that happened to me today!!
But honestly, i was at starbucks earlier bc yknow, i want some coffee every once in a while! And i was standing in line getting ready to order when this kid was tugging on my skirt. I was like “hey are you lost? Wheres your parent” and they pointed, i ask the person behind me to hold my spot and return the kid, saying “you should keep an eye on them just incase”
It was like, a middle aged woman, and she just stared at me and like, rolled her eyes and the kid sat down.
Ok, bitch. I go back in line and the person behind me had stepped up but i wasnt too worried cause it was just them in line. So i go behind them and it takes like, a minute later this kid is back and runs UNDER MY SKIRT (i was a long skirt).
I start screaming, and had lifted my leg up to try and step over them and accidentally kick the kid in the face, which they immediately start crying and the mother runs over PISSED. Shes screaming about how i would hurt her kid and so on so fourth. Im sitting here, trying not to cry bc im, very very socially anxious. The lady ends up turning her attention to the workers there for some reason, and i just like, left bc i was about to start sobbing.
Summary of the story, entitled parents raise entitled kids, i didnt get my coffee, and i cried in my car for like 10 minutes.
My friend went and bought me some after they got back from work XD so i actually did get my coffee
- Pop Anon
Oh my god, that sounds absolutely awful. :( Parents like that mother really annoy me; do some people just not realize that reigning your kid in and teaching them how to behave in public is part of being a parent? Literally all they would've had to do is like sit the kid beside them and hold their hand or smth. I feel kinda bad for the kid too, cause obviously they shouldn't be going underneath people's clothes (wtf?) but I can bet they weren't really "parented" properly to know to keep to themselves. (What happens if the kid cozies up to some stranger with bad intentions? Then what? How can the mother not think of this when their child runs off? 🤨)
I can't imagine how bad that was to experience, especially with social anxiety. At least you did end up getting coffee in the end thanks to your friend, but Jesus H. Christ, what is wrong with people?
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lightlycareless · 1 year
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chapter 30 has me CLIMBING the WALLS
the visceral uncomfortableness of a dead silent car ride with these two,,,, i can not even begin to imagine it. the tension in there was so heavy and so dense i’m shocked it didnt make a black hole
first thought when naoya took a suddenly different turn on the street was “oh so we’re getting murdered in an alleyway??? left to die??” he does not come off with good vibes for himself at ALL. luckily its just for more doctors appointments. deeply sorry to every individual that had to be around these twos painfully obvious rift
EVERYTIME NAOYA TRIED TO TALK TO HER… i know hes done nothing to properly redeem himself but ohmygod i can feel the awkward pains. kudos to him for not just like bursting into tears in the elevator when she turned away. i would’ve been a mess.
i’m gonna THROTTLE this doctor (also y/n girl i get the frustration but what did you WANT him to SAY for you on the cheating question,,, if he speaks over you to answer i know you aren’t going to like that either he can NOT win this one,,,) - and also the one time naoya pulls himself together to assist by showing the ultrasound that gets just shot down as well. we are on a losing battle. naoya stans stay losing 😔
incredible balls to try for the “wanna get something to eat?” a SECOND time. that play failed MISERABLY last time and its already been a string of horrible events today but lets GO king!!🗣️💯🔥give us nothing!! 🔥🔥❗️💯
concluding- naoya has been exuding CRITICAL levels of shaking chihuahua and cringefail energy ft. y/n desperately trying to Hold It Together. exquisite chapter. looking forward to the next as always
AUGHAUAH I ALREADY SENT A CHAPTER 30 ASK BUT I REREAD IT THIS MORNING N WENT BACK OVER THE “test her condition” PART- not sure how i left this outta the last one that had me so fried
but am i hallucinating or is naoya… also hesitant about that? i know that its just two words “Naoya swallows” but it SOUNDS like he’s got just. the barest hint. the barest idea that perhaps,,, maybe,, that would be a bad thing to do. now if he knows the WHY of why it would be bad is a completely different question, but it at least reads as if he faintly understands he should NOT do that again.
(feel free to just like. screenshot this and throw it in w the bigger one lmaoo i still can’t believe i left this out its huge)
Hello!!!!
HAHAHAH I’m glad you’re suffering, I mean, enjoying the latest update 😊 Also, don't worry about the asks hehe you can send in as many as you want! I looooooove reading and answering them 🥺❤
Now, Imagine if someone decided to accompany them? I don’t know, like Ranta. I think the poor boy would’ve been like “omg… Naoya really has no chance” lol OR WORSE, NAOAKI FOR SURE Y/N WOULD’VE IGNORED NAOYA EVER MORE HAHAHA
“Y/N” Naoya calls “Is there something you’d like to—”
“Naoaki, look! There’s snow on the mountains! No wonder it’s so cold, guess we'll need more than a few blankets tonight”
Naoaki: 😳
Naoya cries, mind going on and on about what did Y/N mean with “we’ll” before remembering the night he saw him leave her chambers.
And I’m pretty sure that’s what Y/N thought too when they headed somewhere else lol she has long accepted that nothing good will come from him (but she didn’t expect it to happen so soon!!! She feared Hitomi and Haruko were going to be like GODDAMN IT I TOLD YOU TO NOT GO. Also, wasn't Naobito in charge of that!!?!?!) but thank God it was just him doing (1) of his many commitments towards Y/N, which considering whom they came from, mean nothing.
I’d hate to be the person attending them :s luckily… we’ll have something of that perspective next chapter (if I don’t discard it 🤭)
The worst part of Naoya’s continuous failing attempts would definitely have to be the way Y/N just turned away hahahah I was like DAMN girl, even if she was somewhat afraid of doing anything because of his outburst she really did that. And Naoya took it lmao straight to the heart. Good.
As for Naoya crying… heh. 😊 I just realized we haven’t seen him do that… interesting, I think you might like that one chapter.
The whole doctor thing was just awful. He was really out there, jabbing at anyone he could 😳 I’m surprised he didn’t kick it up a notch and slander Toji too. Though I think Naobito was like “No, Naoya is sensitive and he might actually kill you so chill, I still have use for you” lol
I’ll still defend Y/N by saying she hasn’t cheated on Naoya but…. I mean, the emotional department… that’s long gone hahahahahahahahahahhahahaahhahahaha Still, wtf is this man going over and over about that particular topic? Like, we get it. You want to know. Ok, sure, maybe she’s gotten something but these two for sure haven’t so NEXT. Shouldn't we be talking about Naoya in that sense???
As for the ultrasound part, I actually was like “huh, impressive Naoya decided to actually stand up and do something” maybe to get his money’s worth, or probably to reveal “WHAT THE HELL DO THESE THINGS MEAN????? IS THERE A BABY THERE OR NOT” get outta here... and how he reacted to the rest of the procedures I was just like yep, there he is... usual Naoya.
This man is grasping at straws at this point, inviting her out to eat was the evidence of that lol. If Y/N was a bit more… assertive and fearless, she would’ve been like “are you serious right now? You want me to get sentenced to death again? Sir, I only have one life, GOODBYE”
As for the “test her condition”… it’s the doctor instigating Y/N and Naoya again with Naoaki lol. I don’t know what this man is thinking, seriously. Probably that Y/N was abstaining to do the deed in a more pleasurable way 🤮and the way he was disappointed that there was no heartbeat or a fetus in there wtf lol.
Naoya is hesitant because of Naoaki more than anything, as well as the fact that he can’t get near Y/N at all, his father’s conditions for her survival looming in the back of his mind.
If it helps to give some peace of mind, Naoya does not have it in him to force himself on Y/N again, at least… not now. Because he knows if he crosses that line again, she’ll definitely run towards Naoaki and never leave, and his marriage is DONE. GONE. (can’t be a good person just cause, eh??)
Both characters are on a really tight spot, but I guess in an emotional distress Naoya is in the worse position as of right now. (Y/N is used to it in a way, while he’s barely comprehending what’s going on around him, he's got a whoooole world of turmoil to comprehend, and more to come lmao)
But as you said, we're out here cheering for Naoya lmao!!! Indeed, go give us nothing 😂😂 And the way you described Naoya as a chihuahua... lmao, couldn't be more accurate.
I'm so glad you like this chapter!! It gets me excited for the rest which I cannot wait to show :> !!!!!
Once again, thank you so much for tuning in for another update ❤ also, if there's more things you wish to know or just share my askbox is always open 🤭I looooooooove reading your comments ngl 😭 it often provides me perspectives I fail to see, thank you so much 🥺❤
I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!
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dumbbitchfrommars · 13 days
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12am and i cant sleep.
its been so hard adjusting to all the change. it was unexpected, and i got used to something and didnt realise how that momentum would just disappear and how uncomfortable i would be about that.
i think i got used to the chaos of being a student. now i feel stuck, and im doubting myself. im really, really questioning.
but somehow i was blessed with a really wonderful man amidst it all?
doubt/fear/self criticism. its confusing me... i havent properly cried in so long. ive just gotten a bit too comfortable with the subtle, constant voice in my head putting me down for every little mistake and unmet expectation.
i am a good writer. i missed writing, really writing. i got so lazy. i feel so lazy, all the time. like im never quite putting in 100%, but if i did, i know id be able to achieve so much. id be so successful - probably at anything i put my mind into.
instead im so afraid of failing or being disappointed that i barely try at all.
my confidence is thin... i wonder if people can see through my facade?
im so ashamed and angry at myself for losing my temper today. it completely derailed the rest of my day. i feel terrible. i deserved to get in trouble today. it was my karma for being impatient, and mean, and angry. life is not that serious. nothing is worth that kind of anger. no stranger deserves that kind of anger...
im so tired but the coffee that i knew would throw me off is keeping me up. i was shaking for half the day today! i genuinely helped so many people but i also feel judged, criticised and under appreciated. i am not rostered again for this entire week.
work is not worth this frustration and anger and hurt. ive exhausted myself analysing the situation and its done. but, what is left if not that? what do i worry about instead? how others might judge me for dating this guy? or how my car is stuck in a carpark tonight and might be towed away by the morning? or, that i have $40 to my name right now with multiple trips interstate planned in the next few months? money doesnt matter. it never really mattered and is the least of my problems, and yet it floats back to me constantly like a persistent fly. i got bit on the fucking face by a mosquito!
but being hugged like that healed something in me. it was the most comforting hug ive had in so, so long. i could cry just thinking about feeling that way all the time. so warm and safe and protected and loved.
its nice to feel like i can be a shy girl again. like i dont have to pretend to be confident all the time, cause someone else is already, and hes ready to take the lead for me. so i can let my guards down and just be my self and not worry about scaring him off or making him insecure. and i like the way he tells me things. like he really shows me, and gets me to visualise what hes trying to explain. and i like how he rubbed my knee when i said i wasnt listening to him for one second. and i like how he kinda just decided for me that were hanging out again tomorrow. and i like how he asked "are you okay" when i got all anxious and made me laugh at myself instead of being awkward. how did he do that? he helped me not overthink by making a sweet joke and i could laugh. and my critical side is non existent when im with him, cause hes so confident in himself. hes so man. and i actually like him. i like talking to him, i like his personality, im drawn to him, i think hes attractive. i mean, he has odd style but it suits him. and he has some opinions that i disagree with but they arent dealbreakers. and hes such a boyyyy like hes so masculine man like wow they really do exist. all i had to do was look in a different place to my own. I KNEW IT TOO. i knew i liked them a little rough around the edges. ugh. okay. i think thats enough fawning over him now.
i wonder when we'll finally kiss. i dont think im ready yet... im scared of rushing and getting hurt again. i think he can tell and thats why hes been so slow and gentle with me. is crazy, isnt it? i seem so confident and attractive and cool from the outside. i feel like everyone profiles me as having so much handed to me. but its honestly so scary and hard to try do relationships and friendships. ive been hurt so much and im so so sensitive. but maybe i seem strong and like my walls are up or something, so people think im indestructible. but secretly im so soft and fragile and i need time. and i feel like hes giving me that time? like i dont think ive ever gone this long talking to a guy. i havent hung out with a guy 3 times without kissing once. thats a lie... but its also true, cause the taurus i always just expected it to not be romantic. i dont think i ever really saw us being in a relationship. but i can see myself with the scorpio. so its even a shock just for me, to see how seriously im taking this by not rushing. i want everything to be special and the right timing. i even want to meet his family and friends. and my sister really likes him. thats how i know hes good for me. because shes never wrong about people. could this be why i had such a trainwreck day today? did i receive some kind of evil eye the other night? but...who...? everyone seemed so sweet and happy and lovely. maybe its just a bad day and i shouldnt overthink it.
ugh.
its fucking freezing cold and now its past 1am. ugh.
i would love another one of those hugs, please. it was so lovely and nice and ugh. holy shit. i really like him!
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madstwd · 2 years
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What if Rick Grimes had a Clumsy Child:
(Rick having a clumsy child that he would accidentally not spend as much time with to keep safe…what happens when something actually happens and he realises he wasn’t being as kind/caring as he thought)
Rick Grimes x child!reader headcanons
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The reader was a twin with carl, had the same fiery yet kind nature as rick and their sibling. But was always falling over to hurting themselves in easily preventable ways. You could often trip up or down steps when you got lost in day dreams. Loosing sight of your father and sibling.
Small cuts constantly littering your hands from cutting things up wring when helping carol cook. Rick would always sigh, pulling out one of the many plasters he had to search for. Scolding you if it was a lot deeper and needed a bandage.
From ricks scoulding you would always get jealous when Carl never hurt himself, or trip over a shoelace he didnt tie up properly. Carl got to spend time helping rick out with his guard duties or when they helped Maggie plant crops at Alexandria, you often did but without them knowing.
You would never speak up about it, too ashamed of the thought that rick preferred your twin over you. You knew he was just keeping you safe but almost seemed like he didnt trust you anymore. You were never allowed outside the walls, your knife was small, and you weren’t allowed to carry a gun. To you a few small cuts and bruises didnt really come to the conclusion you were actually clumsy.
One day when Rick and Carl had gone out for a run, leaving you inside the walls you left. You weren’t sure why, you took a gun, food and water and then left for a walk. You knew whoever was at the gates wouldn’t let you through so you snuck out. Decided a walk in the forest would alarm anyone too much, and the worst you could do was trip over a tree root.
That was exactly what happened though, you tripped over a tree root as you searched for a clearing to sit and draw in. As you fell you tried to fall away from the sharp branch on the floor but ended up falling onto it. The weight of you and the sharpness of the branch caused it to pierce your skin and impaled you.
Now you were laying in the forest waiting for your father to notice you missing, you were bleeding out, you could feel it. This was the worst you had gotten hurt before. When rick had found you, you were waiting for the scoulding look you normally got but instead his face was etched with worry. The same look you saw when carl had lost his eye, or when carl returned home with negan. He crouched infront of you, looking at the stick in your side and your face which was slowly draining with colour. He was more shocked at the fact you had a look of confusion on your face.
“Hey honey, come on we gotta get you back. Stay with me” he said as he lifted you in his arms. You noticed Carl and Daryl following closely. You looked at your twin, seeing the worry etched on his face. Along with daryl. You could feel tears fall onto your arm, looking up you noticed rick crying.
Once you were healed up and left to sleep, rick didnt leave your side you could feel his hand stroking your hair as you rested. Your eyes shut not wanting you face his lecture on how you shouldn’t of been outside the walls. “I know you’re awake”
You gulped, opened them and faced your father. Noticing he was alone, blood still on his shirt and hands indicating he hadn’t left your side.
“Why did you leave the walls? You know you aren’t allowed?”
“Carl leaves them, I don’t understand how its any different when i do it?”
“Because he isn’t as clumsy as you, he doesn’t seriously injure himself with anything he does”
“Do you prefer him over me? I can live with daryl?”
“Why would suggest that?”
“You never spend time with me, i draw and you never talk to me about any of it, I helped Maggie with the garden today, or helped tidy the other day. But all you care about is carl and making sure he’s ready, or you take him out and spend time with him alone” you cried. Ricks heart broke, in trying to keep you safe from the danger that follows you he didn’t realise he pushed you away, daryl always prompted you to talk to him, being one of the few people to come and talk to you or see what you were up to. And you never annoyed daryl, he allowed you to draw next to him or help him cut up any animals he hunted, rick refused to do anything like that over the fear you would heart yourself.
“I’m sorry, but i tell you what, you and me have a day together tomorrow. You can show me your drawings and we can try and frame some or put them up around the house” he smiled. It was only a small gesture but it was a start to rebuilding the relationship you had with your dad. It wasn’t your fault you were always stuck in your head and bumping into things, most often forgot that you and carl were still kids. With carl acting mature and adapted better/quicker than you, rick forgot sometime people took a while. And he was only trying to protect you.
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t0shii · 4 years
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% comforting them when they're upset
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.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r
.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.
.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩
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oikawa
— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.
"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.
"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."
the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.
"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.
"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.
tsukishima
— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.
you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.
when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.
you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.
"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."
"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.
matsuwaka
— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.
"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.
"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.
the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."
you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.
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miraeluc · 4 years
Text
you’re suffering alone
prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”
pairing: kageyama x female! reader 
word count: 3k
warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out 
genre: fluff, angst
you were always their little ray of sunshine
when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly
hinata ran to tanaka after that class
“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”
tanaka was down lol
it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway 
the conversation went a bit like this
“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”
“sure!”
“we swear it- did you just say yes?”
“...yes”
cue tanaka and hinata screaming 
after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either 
he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)
poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out 
so he did 
and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka 
everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there
which you did, don’t get me wrong
that just wasn’t the only reason.
no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year
every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them
“time for a break, i brought food!!”
you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya 
“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”
you immediately laughed 
“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags 
you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying 
that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about 
“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you
everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”
you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling 
“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled
“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!” 
noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol
you see
kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general
he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further 
he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it 
now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family
he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it
“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled
his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is
fr tho i hate math 
after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice
hinata tried
keyword tried 
he threw up....
no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead
“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said
you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart
“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you 
“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it 
you hate when he does that 
he thinks your reaction is adorable
you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek 
he blushed, pda isnt for him
you loved his soft side so much 
nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again 
“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat 
baby was a little awkward with stuff like this 
you didn’t mind though
you nodded and smiled “will do!”
and off you were lol 
hinata then popped up infront of kageyama 
“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”
kageyama pushed him away by the head 
“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”
“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down 
“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”
...
you sighed
“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”
you stood up 
“i’ll get going then, i love you.”
you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again 
the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual 
you were having a conversation with hinata
it was too early for kageyama to speak 
everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day
kags(。◝‿◜。) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?
y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it 
kags(。◝‿◜。), 2:50pm: did something happen?
kags(。◝‿◜。), 2:53pm: y/n?
y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home  (╥﹏╥)
the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too
just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you 
day by day you felt yourself breaking more 
day by day the scars on your hips multiplied 
and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside 
it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left 
“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”
he was pressing around so much about it 
you smiled and shrugged,
“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”
“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded 
“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled 
your eyes were a little glassy 
he frowned
nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”
he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped
“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”
you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction
you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s
he squeezed your hand a little 
he knew you needed a little support 
only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery
nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery 
he saw it but he expected you to walk past 
you stopped in front of your mothers grave 
“there she is.” you let out a sigh 
kageyama felt his heart drop 
“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”
kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet 
he felt so horrible
you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya
“don’t worry, you didn’t know.” 
you still smiled at him 
kageyama then spoke 
“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”
he didn’t even sound angry at this point 
nishinoya nodded and left 
he really felt so bad 
you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after
this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend 
he didn’t expect it to hurt this much 
hearing your little sobs break through you 
he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug 
neither of you said anything
he just let you cry into his chest 
he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words
he told you through gently patting your back as you cried
he told you through not judging you when you cried like this 
even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you 
he let you finish crying 
however long it took 
and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose
he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.
“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..” 
he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”
“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”
you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy
you then looked up at him again 
“thank you, for.. supporting me..”
nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you 
you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad 
he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day 
daichi sent him home early
“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”
practice ended soon after that anyway 
you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you 
“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”
you happily helped
you admired his determination to get better daily
it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball 
how couldn’t you help when he asked like that
that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking 
“can you come over tonight?”
you furrowed your brows
“but it’s a school night?”
he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest
he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked 
you then nodded 
“alright then, i’ll come.”
whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)
“look, i’m a better setter than you!”
he chased you down lol 
you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you
fuck
well
he obviously immediately let go
“y/n. what’s wrong?”
you sighed and turned towards him
“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying 
honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was 
he just didn’t want to think of that possibility
he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid 
he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over
he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker 
he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do 
and he’s so, so worried 
but he’s scared to approach you 
he’s scared to confirm his worst fears 
he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”
you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”
you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking 
“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!” 
he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head 
“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”
you were speechless
you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it 
you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly 
you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following 
you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say
how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol 
he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes
“can i see?”
you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down 
you pondered over it a little before nodding
he crouched down before you, looking up at you 
“you know you can trust me, right?”
you furrowed your brows “of course”
“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”
your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence
i love you through all of your emotional states
“thank you..” you sniffled
“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”
“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”
you finally let in
“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”
he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke
“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently
“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”
you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most 
seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.
he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts
“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it 
you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff
when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could
he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you
“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled
he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up 
he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him 
“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”
his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you 
you hurt him so bad by doing this.
the person you loved and cherished most 
“it felt like the only escape”
he caressed the top of your head
“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”
you cut him off by pressing your lips against his
“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”
he nodded “thank you”
he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now
you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”
he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”
he kept his promise
ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed 
he often called you through entire nights
he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself
he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy
and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about 
(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)
so yep.
you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you 
and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start
she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.
a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it! 
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jaedreaminn · 3 years
Text
Desperate Much?
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Pairings: Ten x Reader.
Theme: fluff, angst, hurt, comfort, family, sad, happy ending. (Life is still going on)
Characters: Ten, Taeyong, Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno.
Word Count: 2k
~~~
Ten wasn't like his 'brothers'. Infact he wasn't ever their brother, he was their cousin. His dad was the one who inherited the family business and had settled with him and his mother in Thailand to branch out.
He had a happy and perfect life with both of his parents, but that was untill they both died unexpectedly in a car accident when he was eleven. And suddenly everything in his life was changing. He had to move to Korea to live with his uncle and his children, his father's buisness was now his uncle's buisness until Ten was old enough to take over. Until he could legally take over. He had to learn a different language, make new friends and start his life all over again in a very dysfunctional family.
He remembered the constant yelling between Mr.Lee and Mrs.Lee, having to sit by himself during those times when Taeyong would take his younger brothers Mark and Jeno and hide in his room, he remembered how Donghyuck would cry under the scrutinizing gaze of Mrs.Lee as she fought with Mr.Lee and the boy was stuck there not able to escape, the loss of the joys of family dinners that he was used to, the loneliness he felt. That was when he met you. You were his only friend in this country and even though he could barely talk to people you tried your best to talk to him despite the language barrier.
You were cheerful and jovial and very very clingy but he didn't mind that. You ate lunch with him and helped him with his Korean. You even made sure to stick by his side with the excuse of him being new here so he wouldn't get lost months after he arrived.
You were a blessing in disguise to him especially since it was so awkward with his cousin Taeyong at home and at school.
Time flew fast and a year had passed and he could speak and write Korean way better than before and lucky for him you were still stuck to his side.
In those trying times you were his only semblance of joy. The times in which Mark wouldn't talk at all, the times in which Taeyong would go around at the ripe age of twelve and hurt people with words so sharp that they would leave the school, when all Jeno did was look upto Taeyong and when Donghyuck started to act out getting himself in trouble so bad that he could have almost lost his life but no one cared.
It hurt Ten to watch all this happen but not being able to do anything about it because no matter how well he got along with the youger two, Taeyong would always pull his brothers away from him and take them to his room and well Donghyuck, he wouldn't talk to anyone at home.
But unfortunately all he could do was get used to this awful life, glad that you would quietly listen to him rant and then lighten his mood up with something silly.
He was mid rant one day when he spoke about how much he missed 'family dinners' that you interrupted him, "Why don't you have a dinner with your cousin's?" Ten scoffed at you and shut that idea down immediately but when he came home and saw how far apart everyone was he decided there and then that's what was needed.
So he forced Mark out of his room and away from his books, he pryed Donghyuck away from his bed, he bribed Taeyong and Jeno just followed his eldest brother and thats how he found himself at the diner table for the first time ever since his parents passed away.
"I used to eat dinner like this with my parents" he spoked but Taeyong glared at him, "I don't care"
"Look you want to be a brat be a brat but at the dinner table all feuds are forgotten and all hatred is gone, food is supposed to be consumed happy"
"What did your parents say that?" Taeyong asked, rolling his eyes.
"Nope y/n did!" Ten said with a cheeky smile, "Now c'mon dig in"
And so there started their first meal together with everyone silently serving themselves, "So we usually talk about our day at the dinner table" Ten smiled his eyes crinkling into two half moons. "I know none of you will say anything so I'll start, Teacher Park yelled at me for correcting him on his Korean today. I was so pissed" Taeyong snorted at that, "Yea that old geezer is weird"
"I know I don't like him either" Donghyuck spoke and Taeyong glared at him but Ten cleared his throat loudly and Taeyong sighed muttering an inaudible apology.
"I placed a fart cushion on his chair today" Donhyuck grinned proudly and collective snorts were heard across the table and Jeno chocked on his food as Taeyong patted the younger boys back. Mark was still eating quietly. Then Donghyuck frowned, "But he didn't like that..." He then put out his hands showing everyones his palms, "So he took me out of the classroom and hit me" Tens heart sank at the red bruises on the boys hands and Taeyong was glaring again but this time it wasn't at Donghyuck, "How dare that old rat hit a seven year old child like that" the eldest growled. But Donghyuck only smiled, "It's okay I'm used to it" he said and Tens heart broke at that statement and by the looks of it so did Taeyongs.
Something shifted between the boys that night and they all knew it. Ten came to school the next day boasting to you about the success of his first family dinner and how excited he was for the next one tomorrow.
He even told you the story Donghyuck had told him not knowing what to do and that very day you got detention for throwing your thick Oxford Dictionary at Mr.Parks face.
Ten still smiles at that memory, a tiny you standing on your bench, yelling out a swear word and launching the book right at the unsuspecting teachers face, nevertheless what you did got the principal's attention. And without making a big deal of it she started an investigation on the teacher.
You chatted excitedly the next day about how exhilarating it was for you to throw a book at that man's face and Ten smiled listening to you talk with animated gestures.
That night he was greeted by the sight of Taeyong silently treating their youngest brothers wounded hands while avoiding the younger boys adoring gaze.
And so life moved forward and Ten had new friends and family here in Korea. And of course you. At this point he wasn't sure if you were his friend or family or both. But you were you.
You were known in school as- The y/n. The y/n who had all of Ten's attention leaving zero for his admirers.
To Ten you were the y/n who made him happy, the y/n who made him laugh, the y/n with a beautiful smile, the y/n who held him as he cried, the y/n who would nag him endlessly when he didn't eat properly, the y/n who would latch pinkies with him and walk everywhere, the y/n who was exceptionally smart and savy.
His life was finally looking up, with you by his side helping him through it all. And slowly he was making new happy memories, like the day he got you all flustered for the first time, or the day Taeyong had put his foot down and finally dragged Donghyuck away from the fighting couple into his room along with Ten, the day he took you to the amusement park you wanted to go to so badly that you kissed his cheek and went running off to the roller coaster, the day Jeno who only looked upto Taeyong had asked him for help, the day he snuck out of the house at night to watch the stars with you, the day Mark spoke at the diner table for the first time, the day you tripped and fell and he got it on camera, the day Taeyong called him his brother, the day of their class picnic and many more.
But there were also bad days like they day he had his first big fight with you or the day Donghyuck had come to him crying and crying without ever telling him why or the day where both the adult Lee's decided to join the family diner and ruined it.
But even those didnt last because his fight with you ended with the two of your crying in each other's arms promising to never have a fight this big again, because the day Donghyuck cried so bitterly that it shook the entire house Taeyong, Mark and Jeno rushed in and it turned into a mini sleepover as they took care of the youngest who soon forgot why he was crying and promised to make sure he only laughs in the future. And the day that Mr. And Mrs. Lee ruined the family diner was the day all five of the boys snuck out to eat marshmallows and chocolate in the park. The initial idea was to make smores but none of them knew how to make a fire and they were all out of crackers.
Those were just a few happy moments with many more to come like the day he asked you out, or the day he and his brothers went camping together, or the day Donghyuck smiled a smile so pure as his eyes shone with genuine happiness or the day Jeno started to think for himself and made friends who were a good influence on him. And the day Mark started dating someone. (Ten genuinely thought by how quite the boy was he would have to force him to talk to people let alone date someone), the day he got his father's company back and the day he proposed to you on the banks of the Han river, under the stars with his family and closest friends there to witness the moment.
"Why are you smiling so big?" your voice interrupted his thoughts and his smiled widened even more at the sight of you. "Did you fart?" You asked him and he chuckled grabbing onto your arm and and pulling you down to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Nothing I'm just happy"
"Ten Lee I swear to god if you're on drugs then I want a divorce even before I marry you" you scolded playfully and Ten chuckled, "My only drug is you baby" he cooed and you gaged "Eww gross get a room" you said and he deadpanned.
"You're weird you know that y/n?" He asked with a small chuckle.
"Clearly you knew what you were getting into" You smiled, teeth on full display with how wide your grin was.
"Obviously"
"Oh by the way, I handled your little mishap at work today and got a few things you were supposed to do tomorrow scheduled for later and the rest got done today so your free tomorrow the entire day" you said and he smiled at you looking at you so lovingly. He doesn't remember that one moment he realised he was in love with you, maybe there wasn't just one lightbulb moment where her realised he loved you. Maybe he always knew or maybe he gradually figured it out. But that didn't matter all that matters is that he loves you and you love him.
"Ahh what would I do without you?" he asked snuggling into your neck and you chuckled, "Let's never have an answer to that question okay" you said and he nodded, you were right. You were there through evey step of the way after his life turned upside down and he's sure as hell he doesn't want to find out what it would be like without you so Ten grinned placing a small peck on you neck, "I'm gonna take you on the best date of your entire life tomorrow"
"Desperate much?"
"Y/n I'm literally engaged to you!"
~~~
Lee brother's- A mini series
Previous Part: Lee Mark
Next Part: Lee Donghyuck
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bibbawrites · 3 years
Text
Margaux’s New Friend - a Single Dad!Charlie short story
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THIS IS A PART OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES, YOU CAN FIND THE OTHER PARTS HERE
Request: none but @happinessinthedarkesttimes​ and i started discussing this after the last part of single dad!charlie and i couldn’t help but write it 
Word Count: 1281 words
Summary: Set before the Single Dad!Charlie series, at the start of filming when Margaux is only 2, Charlie has one more scene to shoot and all of his usual babysitters on set are gone, so Taylor steps up 
Warnings: none
A/N: so i wrote this like last week sometime? and didnt post it cause i didnt want to be annoying, and then forgot about it until today lol and now that my laptop is dead i wont be posting much writing so hopefully you like this one  i’m loving writing these little flashback short stories so you’ll probably see more of them eventually, if theres anything in particular you’d like to see in one of them (i have a couple of ideas already)  enjoy!
Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes​​​​​​​​ @littlemissaddict​​​​​​​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​​​​​​​​ @headheartbellarke​​​​​​​​ @lovesanimals​​​​​​​​ @bartok-the-magnificent​​​​​​​​ @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 ​​​​​​ @fandomxreaders​​​​​​​​​ @ifilwtmfc @yagorlemmalyn​
"Taylor, I need a massive favour.” Charlie gasped out, entering the room in a rush, his daughter in his arms. Taylor looked up from the piece of paper where he was studying the chords for Now or Never. 
“Yeah what’s up?” He questioned.
“Can you look after Margaux for like 20 minutes? I’ve got one more scene to shoot and Tori and Sav are already gone.” Charlie said quickly, and Taylor nodded.
“Of course man, no problems.” He agreed, and Charlie gave him a thankful smile, placing Margaux down on the ground in front of Taylor and kissing the top of her head. 
“She’s gonna cry, just distract her. Good luck. Bye baby!” Charlie called as he rushed back out of the room. 
Taylor stared down at the two year old, watching as her face fell when she realised her dad had left her behind. He had only met her once before and it wasn’t for very long, and the toddler had just clung to her father the whole time. This was his first time properly interacting with the little girl. 
“Hi Margaux, my name is Taylor, do you remember me?” He said softly, crouching down next to the two year old. She ignored him, still staring at the door that Charlie had left through, tears beginning to stream down her face. 
“Hey, don’t cry.” Taylor soothed, reaching out to rub her back, not wanting to overstep with the clearly emotional toddler. 
“Want Daddy.” She cried. Taylor bit his lip. 
“He’ll come back soon.” He tried, but Margaux shook her head. 
“Now.” She whined, her bottom lip jutting out. 
“He’s busy sweetie, why don’t we go get a snack or something?” Taylor tried. Charlie did say to distract her. Margaux nodded tearily, and Taylor hesitated. 
“Can I pick you up?” He asked gently. 
Margaux nodded again and Taylor stood back up before leaning down, lifting the tiny blonde toddler into his arms. Her face instantly went to his neck and he flinched slightly at the feeling of her tears and heavy breathing. Distraction time. 
“Do you like chocolate cake Margaux? Maybe we should go find some.” He questioned as he pushed the door open. Margaux sniffled. 
“I like it.” She mumbled. 
“You like it? That’s good, me too!” Taylor said, his tone overly enthusiastic, trying to cheer the two year old up. 
Margaux hummed slightly and Taylor paused, listening, trying to figure out what she was singing. When he couldn’t identify the tune he decided to ask. 
“What are you singing?” He questioned softly. 
“Butterfly.” Margaux answered, sniffling slightly. 
“I don’t know that one, can you sing it for me?” Taylor asked, and Margaux shook her head. 
“Daddy sing it.” She stated. 
“Your Daddy sings it for you?” Taylor checked, and Margaux nodded. 
“Yeah.” She said. 
Taylor entered the catering tent, spotting the table covered in tea cakes instantly. 
“Here we go, do you want a cake?” He asked, heading over to the table. 
Margaux nodded slightly, lifting her head out of his neck to look at the table, her eyes red and nose running. 
“Which one?” He asked, and Margaux pointed to a chocolate cupcake. 
“This one?” Taylor picked it up and she nodded again, taking the cake from him with a mumbled thank you. Grabbing himself a cake too, two juice boxes and a few tissues to wipe her nose and in case of a mess, Taylor carried the toddler back out of the tent, knowing exactly where to take her.
“We’re gonna go for a walk, okay?” He told her. 
“Okay.” Margaux replied simply. 
“What’s your favourite colour?” Taylor asked, trying to keep the toddler from thinking about her dad. Margaux squinted. 
“Purple.” She decided after a moment. 
“I love purple too.” Taylor agreed. 
“And pink and blue.” Margaux added, and Taylor smiled to himself at the added interaction. He might be getting through to her. 
“Very pretty colours.” He said. Margaux nodded. 
“What ice cream?” Margaux mumbled.
“What’s my favourite ice cream?” Taylor asked. 
“Yeah.” She replied. 
“Tiger tail, do you know what that is?” He told her and she shook her head. 
“No.” She said. 
“It’s black liquorice and orange flavour.” He explained, and Margaux gave him a blank look. Taylor chuckled to himself. 
“I like chocolate ice cream as well.” He said, and her eyes lit up. 
“I like chocolate and strawberry and rainbow.” She smiled, and Taylor mentally cheered that she seemed to finally be coming around to him. 
“Those are some very good flavours.” He agreed. He stopped at a bench that overlooked the main road outside the studio, sitting down on the chair and shifting Margaux onto the seat. She wriggled, moving herself so that she was sat in his lap, and Taylor smiled. 
“Can I wipe your nose?” He asked, and Margaux stayed still in response, allowing him to wipe her damp cheeks and nose. 
“Much better.” He said once he was done and she smiled up at him, a smile that made her look almost identical to her father. “Do you want some juice?”
“Yes please.” She said, taking a juice box from him and sipping on it instantly. 
Taylor started to eat his cake, and when Margaux was finished hers he offered her the remainder of his, which she ate happily. 
Taylor’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, seeing that it was a message from Charlie saying that he was done already. 
Taylor texted back that he would meet him where Charlie left them, and moved to lift Margaux back up again. 
“Where we going?” She asked as Taylor threw their rubbish into the bin. 
“Your Daddy is done now so we’re going back to him.” He said. 
“Daddy?” She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. Taylor nodded and Margaux squealed with excitement, as if she had been separated from Charlie for days and not around 20 minutes. 
They walked back in mostly silence, Margaux squirming out of his arms to run over to Charlie when she spotted him, and the young father lifted her up, kissing her head gently. 
“Did you have fun?” He asked, just as Taylor made it over to them. 
Margaux nodded. 
“We got cake!” She grinned. Charlie fake gasped and Margaux giggled. 
“You got cake without me?” He asked, pretending to be upset. Margaux laughed harder. 
“Yeah!” She exclaimed, and Taylor couldn’t help but smile at the interaction. 
Charlie turned his attention to Taylor, smiling at the older boy. 
“Was she good?” He asked. Taylor nodded. 
“She cried a lot but once we got cake and juice she was fine. We had a good chat and watched some cars and then we came back.” He told him. Charlie gave him a small smile. 
“Thank you, she’s not the easiest to leave. Her whole life it’s just been me and her so she doesn’t really cope well with me leaving her. We’re working on it and she’s actually gotten a lot better, if you can believe that.” He explained. 
“Well she did good today. Actually, she was singing herself a song, if that’s important at all. I asked her what it was and she just said butterfly, and that you sing it.” Taylor said. 
Charlie nodded in understanding, clearly knowing what song Margaux had been singing. 
“It’s the butterfly fly away song from the Hannah Montana movie. I sing it to her when she gets too worked up. I’ve never heard her try to sing it herself before so that’s a new one.” He glanced at the toddler, who was already falling asleep in his embrace. “Anyways we should go, Owen’s waiting. Thanks again Taylor.” 
“Anytime.” Taylor nodded. 
And he meant it. 
60 notes · View notes
mendesbhraanth · 4 years
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Hi beautiful sending you love mwah 😘😘 just wanted to know if you can write something were you hear Shawn talk badly about you so you distance yourself. Please.
Thank you so much for requesting!! 😘😘
Pairing : Shawn x y/n
Warnings : language and angst
Word count : 2.8 k
The first thing you heard when you opened the door to Shawn's condo was basically loud laughter of people including your boyfriend's. You just came back from work, a bit earlier than usual because shawn had been complaining about how he doesn't get to spend time with you because work has been crazy for you and you had a lot of files to finish and you were hella tired of your boss being a complete asshole, who never lets anyone stay home and he was no different to you. Anyways you were not at all aware of the fact that he had guests over.
The sound was coming from the living area of Shawn's penthouse apartment and apart from Shawn's, you recognised the laughter as Brian's, and Connor's. A small smile creeped on your face. You absolutely adored Shawn's friends so you walked towards the living to say 'hi' to them.
You were close enough to hear what they were talking about when your legs came to halt at the mention of you name.
"So how's life with y/n? Tour's over....You're free and now that y/n is staying with you, you must have a lot of cheesy things to say" Connor said whilst laughing.
"Oh yeah I actually do but not right now because why the hell would you mention my so called clingy girlfriend?" Shawn said and Brian laughed so loudly at that but your heart stopped.
"What??! What are you saying?!?" Connor said because shawn has been the most "I'm obsessed with my girlfriend and she is my goddess!!" Type of guy he had ever met.
"I said y/n is extremely clingy and annoying and I don't have anything good to say about her right now so please stop talking about that hoe!!" Shawn said and started laughing like crazy with Brian. Both of their laughs clouding your mind. You just stood there not able to comprehend anything.
You turned around silently, grabbed your keys and left the apartment in the same clothes you came in.
You got in your car and started driving slowly. You were now driving to nowhere for about 30 mins.
The moment you processed the words shawn said you slammed the break and your head came down on the stearing wheel with a plasticy bang.. must have been painfull.. ow poor y/n.
Did he really say that?!? Does he think I'm an annoying clingy hoe?!? Hell! "HE" was the one who wanted me to stay home and spend time with 'HIM'!! And I'm clingy?!? Is this the guy you've been in love with for what? Like 3 years?!! How could he call you a hoe!?! Why would any boyfriend disrespect his girlfriend like that??!? This is the worst day ever!!
All these thoughts were knocked out from your mind by a loud honking sound. You were basically in the middle of a road and by now, there were tons of cars parked behind you. Wow! You just created a big traffic block in the middle of Toronto city. Go you!! *Claps of sarcasm*
You quickly turned around and took another route to make your way back to Shawn's apartment like nothing happened. Haha asshole! but sometimes you gotta act like you weren't the cause of a huge ass traffic block..
You didn't know exactly why you were going back. To lay it onto him?? To get your things?? I don't know but you got home with slouched shoulders and an emotion less face.
You were about to reach and open the door when Shawn opened the door and a bright smile appeared on his face on seeing you which almost made you forget about the things he just said. Eh but not really.
"Baby!!!! I missed you so much today!!" He said and went in for a hug and you hugged him back it was as if someone was clawing at your heart.
"I'm just gonna walk these guys out and I'll be back in a second okay? You get freshened by then" He said sweetly but right now his words seemed anything but sweet!
How dare he say that to them and then act like nothing happened?? That too infront of them?!?! Which speaking of-!
"Hey y/n!!!" Connor and Brian said at the same time and both hugged you and you silently hugged them back, with a fake smile that could basically convince anyone but not Shawn.
"You guys go ahead I'll come in a sec" he said and turned to you.
"Okay then Bye y/n" they both bid their goodbyes and made their way to the lift.
"Hey what happened baby? Any problem with your boss??" Shawn asked tilting your chin up to look you in the eyes.There was evident hurt in them.
You were debating to weather tell him or push him away but you didn't choose any of that.
"Yeah..had a bad day at work"
"Aww baby you go inside and sit down okay! I'll be back after properly saying goodbye to the guys and you can tell me all about your day. Alright?" He asked sweetly but it sounded like straight up sarcasm to you but you chose not to call him out right now.
He gave you a short peck and there he goes ....'probably gonna talk more shit about me' you thought to your self which and it made you feel like your heart was stabbing itself.
You went inside and sat yourself on the couch. The same couch where the love of your life talked shit about you being a clingy hoe. (Sorry I'm just over dramatic 😅)
About 5 mins later shawn came in and sat by your side.
"What happened baby?? What did your crazy boss do this time?" He asked while taking your hand in his and slowly stroking the back of your hand with his other hand but you didnt move.
"Nothing..just the usual..I have...work...just...I-!...I'm going to take a shower" you said. A slight frown appeared on Shawn's face. But he understood....some days you were like this when work really stressed you out.
'Maybe she doesn't wanna talk about it' he thought.
"Okay baby" he said and you stood up from the couch and before you walked 4 steps shawn caught your hand and pulled you into him.
He craddled your face in his warm huge palms that always made you melt like it wasn't even a big deal at all and kissed your lips sweetly.
You kissed him back but pulled away quicker that shawn would have liked which caused a small pout on his perfectly soft pink lips and all you wanted to do was kiss it away so that's what you did but quickly reminding yourself that he thinks your a clingy hoe and pulling away again.
"Let me kiss my girl properly first" he said smiling at you and you'd be lying if you said it doesn't do things to you even if your upset with him. How could he do this?!? One time he's saying he hates you and now he's all over you as if he really is?!?
"I'm tired shawn I wanna take a shower" you said while planting the same fake smile on your face. He frowned at you and them pulled you into a hug and you only dropped your hands low...not embracing the hug.
"Want me to join?' he asked playfully smirking at you and it literally made you feel all sorts of way but you knew it was all an act and he just.. thought you were a hoe.
"No I'm really tired shawn" you said now turning around and walking to the bathroom with tears forming real quick in your eyes.
"Okay... baby I'll start preparing dinner then" he said and you didn't fail to pick up the hurt in his voice. But why??? He doesn't care at all!! What a great ass actor?!? Your seriously doubting if you dreamed all that. But nah...its real..he hurt you.
You took a long ass shower washing yourself and feeling all your emotions get warmed up by the warm water and you just...started crying. You cried silenty under the shower where one couldn't distinguish tears from water. Maybe you were clingy. But that's only because you love him but why would he call you a HOE!?! Why?? Why would he disrespect you like that?? After 3 years of relationship, was your love for him making you look like a hoe??
After you got out of the shower, usually you would've just put on one of Shawn's hoodies and then go chill on the couch but today you just.. couldn't bring yourself to wear his clothes. So you put on one of your band t-shirts and some shorts and walked to the kitchen where Shawn had already prepared and put out dinner on the table and was waiting for your company.
He came to you with a toothless smile on his face which quickly dropped by half when he noticed you weren't wearing one of his clothes..but he didn't let it bother him that much or let's say... tried to act like it didn't bother him as much as it did. You still noticed it though..and it gave you a weird feeling.
He hugged you which again you didn't return.
"You smell so good!" He said pulling away from the hug and you gave him your half assed fake smile AGAIN.
Shawn was fully aware that something was wrong but he thought you'd tell him while having dinner.
He led you to the table and pulled the chair out for you like he always did and you both sat down to have dinner.
Awkwardness was all around the table.
You did not talk at all and even though shawn tried his best and asked you stuff to get you to talk about what's wrong or let's say..make it less awkward, all your replies were just..yes, no and silence.
After dinner you washed your plate and mumbled a goodnight that didn't feel like it was to ANYONE and went to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It went like this for a few days.. you being extra awkward to Shawn and purposely avoiding him and distancing yourself from him and being really down. He was really sad and hurt and frustrated because he would ask you whats the matter and you would either tell him "nothing" or just shrug your shoulders. You didn't even look him in the eyes anymore. Shawn was really really confused and even more worried.
Well how could you talk to him?!? After all he called you clingy and annoying which means he doesn't want you around and also he called you a hoe.
One day Shawn came back from the studio and saw you reading a book on the couch. A small smile creeped on his face knowing that you were reading some sort of romance novel.
"What are you doing?" He asked while coming and sitting next to you.
You were pretty lost in the book so you did not see him coming in.
"Oh just a stupid book haha... I have to get back to work now.." you said and got up to leave only to walk two steps and stop at the mention of your name.
"Y/n" you turned around to see Shawn now standing up from the couch with a very hurt look on his face.
"I don't know why but I noticed that you've been purposefully avoiding me for a few days..why are you doing that?? What did I do??please talk to me.." He asked now looking straight into your eyes and you could see right in his eyes that he was hurt.
"What? I don't know what your talking abou..-!" You were cut of by Shawn showing his palm infront of your face.
"Y/n stop...you know what you've been doing.....Is it me?? Did I do anything wrong?? Please talk to me.....you can always talk to me you know" he said now reaching for your hand but the moment his hand touched you you shook it away and backed off like he attacked you or something.
Shawn looked at you as if his heart just broke.
"No shawn..you should've thought about that before calling me a clingy, annoying hoe" you said for once and stormed in your bedroom slamming the door shut.
Shawn followed right behind you and got the door shut right on his face.
"What are you talking about-!? I- I-..! Dont understand! I never called you any of that!" Shawn said now leaning on the door.
"Stop fucking lying shawn I heard you talking with connor and Brian that day and you called me all those things!!" You barked from the other side of the door.
"Shit! Baby I can explain! Please open the door for me! I swear I didn't mean for you to hear it!" He said now banging on the door.
"Of course you didn't! And Explain what?!? That I'm being delusional and maybe even say some half assed lies?? How did I ever believe that you love me?!? Maybe I am clingy...But you called me a hoe!!"
"No baby please listen! I know it would've sounded so very wrong but just wasn't being serious! We were just joking around and I said that" he tried to explain and it did not even harm a hair of your anger.
"Haha what are you saying shawn?! That would never convince anyone! Try harder with your lies and leave me the fuck alone!" You said.
"Baby please believe me.. you are the most gorgeous and amazing women I've ever met and I could never ever say such things about you! I love you! Please believe me!" He said with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
"I wish I could believe you shawn..but I actually heard this with my own ears.." you said.. now wiping your own tears.
"Please open the door for me I will explain it all please just...hear me out!" He said now bringing his hands to his face to catch the spilling tears.
You opened the door to him kneeling on the floor. You sat next to him resting your back on the wall.
After a few seconds he came and sat next to you..... Both of you staring at whatever that was ahead of you.
"Explain" you said.
Shawn wiped his tears and started talking.
"So...that day..you went to work and connor and brian came over and we were chatting on the couch and you know how connor loves you and me together like he ships us so hard haha so me and Brian were just pranking him and joking around so I just said I don't like you to prank connor....it sounds so fake...I know but that's the truth..I should've never said that..even if it was a joke I'm so sorry baby. You can even call Brian or Connor right now and ask them if you don't believe me " he said
By now you felt almost dizzy..you're so dumb!! 😬..you were making such a huge ass deal about this. OMG you're so stupid!! Wtf?? How could you be so stupid?? Like..all of this would've never happen if you just opened your mouth and talked to your boyfriend!!!!
"I..-! I'm sorry" you said, looking at Shawn who was already looking at you.
"I'm so so sorry baby I thought you didn't love me anymore I mean..I know I'm not that good looking and you could basically have any girl you wanted and I just-! I'm so sorry!! Ya know I always am terrified that one day I'll wake up and you don't love me anymore and I just-.... I should've just talked to you about this. Shit! I'm so stupid this is all my fault!!" You were full on crying right now and shawn just pulled you to his chest while you cried.
"Hey Don't say that!! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and I can't even imagine living a life where you hate me and it's okay bubba I mean..if I was you this is exactly how I would've acted but from now on ..please talk to me if I did something that upsets you....I hate it when we cry" shawn said cracking a small smile.
"I'm sorry again" you said pouting your lips only for shawn to grab your face and kiss your frown away replacing it with a genuine smile, Something that has been lacking from your face for the past few days.
"It's alright now do you wanna make dinner or get Mc Donalds??"
You smiled at your sweet boy. He already knew the answer.
"Mc Donalds it is!"
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sege-h · 2 years
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I watched Sonic Movie 2 today!
This post won’t contain spoilers-but as I’ve mentioned before if I do post spoilers they WILL be tagged properly because my mom raised me right
Looking at you, people posting spoilers on YT (I avoided YT so much today just so I wouldn’t get last minute spoilers from one of these people and their video thumbnails)
But yall
I cried after the movie
Idk who all knows here but we dont really HAVE Sonic stuff here? Like only recently we started getting the funko pops, and there were those two IDW volumes the book store suddenly had (theyve NEVER had Sonic before, ever, not even while Archie was still going)
Like in the pic of my collection i posted- those 2 games from McDonalds were the only Sonic merch I had for the longest time. And itd still be a very small collection if not for people thinking of me outside the country when they see Sonic stuff and getting it
I’ve never gotten a single Sonic game here- I got Sonic Mania Plus and Sonic Lost World from our neighboring countries. I saw Generations ONCE and it was for the PS3 so I didnt get it. That is TO DATE the only Sonic game I’ve seen here
Growing up, I didnt have any friends that knew who Sonic IS
With that background info out of the way I cried because like
There were kids at the cinema today, and they had Sonic shirts and stuff, and they clearly knew who the characters were, and loved them. And like every time something happened on screen that made me scream internally with excitement, they’d yell out the exact thing I was excited about. There was a little girl with a Knuckles figurine!!
And when we got out of the movie one kid gasped when he saw my Sonic shirt and called his friend over and pointed like LOOK ITS SONIC
And I’m pretty sure that this is happening because of the first Sonic movie
Like I’m sure there were a few kids that maybe knew who he was, and then the movie gave them the opportunity to share that with friends.
But like...the first one didn’t have this- the people watching were mostly there to see the movie out of curiosity, and the kids were there bc their parents figured itd be a good movie for kids (AND THEY WERE RIGHT)
And now theres like this new generation of Sonic fans that im SO HAPPY for! This is more Sonic fans than I’ve ever seen irl! And they get to be fans WITH THEIR FRIENDS and they have friends to be hype with that know what they’re talking about! Those are experiences I didn’t have as a kid, and I’m so happy they have this
But yeah my heart is soft and seeing this made me cry
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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years
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OKAY OKAY SO,,, its late and i should either be sleeping or finishing my friends birthday gift… BUT ,,, i watched the first ep of To Your Eternity today and my GOD it was… oh lord i already know this is going to be on my top list immediately. and i watched it in the middle of class like an idiot and didnt even have time to properly cry so now its nightime and im aggressively typing about it on tumblr like a responsible adult B) so obviously,, EP ONE OF TO YOUR ETERNITY SPOILERS !!! ,, okay first of all i gotta do the mandatory HOLY SHIT THIS ART IS SO PRETTY AND ADDS EVEN MORE EMOTION DEAR GOD ITS SO GORGEOUS AND HEART WRENCHING DKHGKGN but tbh i wasnt even focused on the art for this one i was just so wrapped up in the story. but the first ep introduces the orb that came to earth and took the form of a rock. it gained experience through this and saw a wolf die and then became the wolf. throughout the first episode the orb was a wolf which was pretty rad !! and the wolf happened to belong to an unnamed boy living in the snow,.. and oh my god idk what it is about stories about lonliness but… THAT SHIT HIT DIFFERENT YKNOW ?? the boys whole family was uh… in some sort of village far away… and he wanted to hike with his dog, joann, to go find them. they followed paths created by the ppl before them only to find the village…. completely destoryed and abandoned in the snow… . and of course our lil boy breaks down and then heads back home with joann where he uh,,, dies shorlty after… and then the orb takes on his form !! good gracious… i didnt think i could get so attached to a character so quickly but i am shaking and on the verge of tears thinking about him. he showed joann drawings of his family and was like “u better not forget !!” while then making a joke about how it was really himself that he didnt want to forget… and this was the first time we saw that bit of vulnerable desperation that this poor boy was trying to hide. it came out more along his journey with joann. he ran into to several hardships and even passed out several times and sustained many injuries yet he always picked himself back up with a smile. He also chatted with joann throughout the episode in what i assumed to the precious bond between man and dog but. he was alsways smiling and always looking at the bright side. even upon finding the villages remains, he claimed to be happy that people were there at some point… but then he broke. AND I ALMOST DID TOO. he cried and yelled and realized just how alone he was in the world. his life was meaningless and all he had was himself and his wolf who he couldnt even talk to. his family was gone and so was all hope of finding another better life and now he was stranded with nowhere to go. luckily him and joann were able to make it back to his original house but the damage had been done. he barely smiled and he only halfheartedly talked to joann. in his final moments he dragged himself out of bed and sat in his chair claiming that itd be embarassing for his family to come home and find him pathetically curled up in bed… so he wanted to look his best…BESTIE…I COULD NOT TAKE THAT…. i dunno if it was just the extreme isolation of that or if it was because of his denial of reality or just the bizarre concept and emotional music and art but.. idk dude smthn hasnt hit that hard in a while and i am absolutely obsessed. there was just something so heartbreaking about watching this happy energetic lovely boy slowly deteriorate into acceptance of the life he knew he was doomed to live… and knowing theres no hope for him since the beginning… and like ?? his dog wasnt even actually his dog bro ?? just another sentient force watching his detioration like the rest of us. i feel like i couldnt really articulate my feelings towards this as well as i wanted since i feel rushed and tired but i hope i still got smthn across :D OMG ALSO .. WHEN HE DIED THERE WAS A SCENE OF HIM REUNITING WITH HIS FAMILY AND BEING SO GENUINELY EXCITED AND HAPPY LIKE HOW HE WAS WHEN HE FIRST SAW JOANN AGAIN AFTER A FEW MONTHS AND HE WAS JUST SO FILLED WITH LOVE AND HOPE AND HE RAN INTO THEIR ARMS AND GHKDGDNG he is too good for this world and i adore him so much and just wish he couldve lived the happy and lovely life he deserved… in conclusion… if u throw me an anime character filled with love and hope and then u take that away from them and they fight and fight for it but are eventually broken…( or vice versa )… you will literally have ALL OF MY TEARS AND ALL OF MY MONEY… UPDATE: APPARENTLY THE ORB PUT THE BOY SITTING UP BACK IN HIS CHAIR BEFORE HE LEFT AND I JUST NCBDJFJD ITS TOO MUCH IM GONE
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sansxfuckyou · 3 years
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kirikami
(i will make this ship sail also @possiblycringe)
kaminari and kirishima, friends forever right? wrong. they got in a fight a while back, about how kirishima needs to get out of his abusive relationship with bakugo before it gets worse. kirishima didnt listen he thought kaminari was 'jealous' or 'trying to hoard kirishima to himself', and that hurt kaminari more than any punch could. kaminari was wounded at what his 'true friend' accused, a wound that would never heal fully. the two had gone down separate paths, no longer speaking with eachother, trying to out due each other in every aspect. it escalated fast, kaminari dropped out of the bakusquad to fly solo until he felt welcome once more, and kirishima was broken; torn between his lost friend and bakugo. kaminari had begun to lash out at anyone who tried to interact with him, no matter how close they where to him. mina couldnt help kirishima at all, his grades had started to slip out from under his feet along with his happy go lucky personality. kaminari in the same boat as kirishima. the class was starting to fall into despair with the two comical relief and memers out off commission. so that catches us all up on this story, so here we go!
kaminari stormed out of the class growling lowly, failed test firmly gripped in hand. "just barely above c level..." he growled out pushing open the door to his dorm with his shoulder crumpling up the test and dropping it in the trashcan as he walked over to his bed and sat down looking at his left wrist in shame before tossing his overcoat to the side and falling back on his bed. "why didnt you trust me kiri?" kaminari asked as he got up and walked over to a random drawer pulling out an array of red pens and markers before gliding them across scars to imitate the blood that once flowed before taking an elastic band and dragging it around his wrist before pulling and releasing in a repetitive motion to imitate pain. "that should be enough for now." he mumbled before calling up mina and completely unloading everything onto her as he cried his eyes out wanting things to go back to the way it used to be. "ok, bye mina, see you in the morning." kaminari sniffled out before falling asleep on his gaming chair, which had been reduced to crying chair.
kirishima awoke the next morning with a start from a nightmare realizing bakugo still had a vice grip on him. "right..." kirishima thought as he gently pushed bakugos arm aside and got up putting on his uniform, not even bothering to shower or wash his face properly from lack of motivation. "maybe today he'll come back." kirishima thought as he glanced over eyes landing on the only picture he had left of him and kaminari, they where kissing in the picture. "i still remember how he tasted, i never got a chance to kill mina for that dare." kirishima though with a light smile as he looked at the photo of the three locked in a tight group hug. "but now i think i should thank her for it." he looked back seeing bakugo had latched onto him from behind still half asleep. "good morning bakugo." kirishima said in a sweet voice.
"good morning teddy bear." bakugo said as he put on his uniform and had a piece of buttered toast tossed at him by kirishima which was caught in his mouth expertly. "i want you to remember something teddy bear." bakugo said as he placed a hand on kirishimas shoulder who looked bakugo in the eyes. "your mine and no one elses, understood?" kirishima nodded in response as bakugo leaned kirishimas head a little to the left and biting down harshly leaving a fresh mark of ownership. "much better." bakugo smirked as he left kirishima who followed close behind after adjusting his overcoat to cover the mark.
mina walked down the halls not noticing she was between kirishima and kaminari till she felt the tension in the air rise exponentially "cmon guys why cant you be friends again?" mina asked with a sigh hearing a murderous growl from kaminari aimed at bakugo who growled back having kaminari cross his arms "want to hang out at my place tonight kaminari?" kaminari nodded in response "good, its been a while since we last hung out." mina said with a smile as she placed a hand on kaminaris shoulder pulling it back with a whine "your emanating electricity again." mina whined walking into the class and taking her seat in front of kaminari who was beside kirishima the others doing the same as aizawa walked in.
"alright class, lets get some battle training started up."
"sensie azawia may i sit out of battle training today?" kirishima asked having bakugo smirk.
"kirishima, your grades have fallen behind to much for me to allow that, im genuinely sorry." aizawa said having kirishima nod in understanding. "go put on your hero costumes and meet up in the main training arena." aizawa instructed everyone doing as told, tension in the air increasing when kaminari saw bakugo slide an arm around kirishimas waist.
they all met up outside kirishima trying to cover his neck in a futile attempt nobody noticing but kaminari, who walked up to kirishima and looked the redhead in the eyes. "explain it, now." kaminari ordered in a slight moving kirishimas hand from the bite mark giving a warning and worried look to kirishima who chuckled nervously in response seeing the glare bakugo sent his way. "i said, explain." kaminari ordered once more, worry in his voice hidden.
-just a mark of ownership from bakugo, he rebites every week so people will know im his and his only." kirishima explained with a weak smile and forced laugh. "just like it always has been." kaminari took a step back looking into kirishimas ruby eyes having mina rush up to prevent kaminari from fully losing balance. "you good?" kirishima asked having kaminari shook his head.
"you really believe it dont you?" kaminari asked. "i tried to get you out before it got this bad." kaminari felt a tear come to his eye mina wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"believe what?" kirishima asked having kaminari almost burst out in tears. "i always his since the start." kirishima said kaminari bursting into full on crying
"youve changed kirishima, he broke you... i tried to help you out, but you wouldnt listen to me..." kaminari said between slight sobs before leaving with mina who helped him keep his balance as they walked back inside.
"hey, its ok kaminari, its ok..." mina murmured trying to calm down kaminari who was having a mental breakdown sobbing on the floor trying to regain composure to no avail. "you still have me and jirou." mina said having kaminari lash out at her before running off realizing he half paralyzed mina for who knows how long.
"why, is it that everything i do, i mess up?" kaminari asked himself as he hid under a stairwell still sobbing. "i cant even keep my closest friend for a year..." kaminari wiped the tears from his golden eyes and got up walking back to his dorm leaning against a sink cupboard and going back to crying. he pulled a knife out of one of the drawers slight blood stains left on it from lack of washing and use, he pulled down his sleeve on the left wrist looking at the butterfly he drew on it with kirishimas name. "looks like this one wont fly free." he said before cutting a straight slash through it and dropping the knife into the sink sitting back on the floor looking at the blood flow forth and drip onto the floor. "i wasnt supposed to go back to that..." kaminari said weakly. "ive moved past it..." he said with a soft sob, before he stood up and grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and started writing a letter.
hey kiri, its me kaminari, your old pal, i miss when we where good friends. maybe you where right in are fight, maybe i was jealous just couldnt tell from my point of view. but ive been thinking about your relationship with bakugo, its alright if you stay with him and have your personality warped even further than before. im not in control of the decisions you make, im just a friend. a friend that loves you so to speak, you never realize how much someone means to you until their gone. if you want to we could meet up sometime in maybe a forest or near a lake. your gay-af jolteon, kaminari.
"looks good enough to me..." kaminari thought as he folded it up and labeling the envelope before walking over to to kirishima and bakugos dorm knocking on the door having bakugo answer it. "please relay this to kirishima." kamianri said as he handed the envelope to bakugo who looked over it before kaminari left to head back to his dorm.
"teddy bear..." bakugo groans as he walks up and latches onto kirishima from behind. "the discount pikachu dropped this off for you." bakugo said handing the envelope to kirishima who grabbed it before continuing pouring tea.
"hes a jolteon, not a pikachu kat." kirishima said as he handed a cup of tea to bakugo who sipped it slowly while kirishima read the letter eyes widening slightly in realization, rubbing the mark on his neck shamefully. "how could i be fooled...?" he thought with a sigh as he walked to the door and put on his tyranitar hoodie smiling weakly at the memories of when kaminari got him that hoodie with a jolteon one and mina with a garbodor hoodie.
"cmon bro, just put on the hoodie, itll look great on you." kaminari said as he slid on his jolteon hoodie and spiked collar with mina doing the same with her garbodor hoodie and plain black collar.
"i dont really do hoodies bro, they dont look the best on me." kirishima said as he finished fitting the gold studded collar and slid on the hoodie looking at the pattern, kaminari tackling the redhead into a hug.
"who told you that hoodies dont look good on you?" kaminari asked as he held onto the taller tightly goofy grin as always. "they lied to you." kaminari let go of kirishima with a light chuckle.
"my ship is shoving off, now will it sail?" mina muttered under her breath smirk on face as she watched her two friends, maybe soon to be lovers. "i hope so..." she muttered before joining the hug.
"i love both of you guys so much..." kaminari said with a light chuckle in the undertone of his voice.
"i guess he really did mean it..." kirishima muttered as he walked to kaminaris dorm knocking on the door seeing kaminari open it wearing his jolteon hoodie along with his spiked collar. "h-hi..." kirishima said nervously as he was waved in by kaminari.
"im shocked he didnt force you to trash the hoodie." kaminari said as he poured some coke for the kirishima who looked around noticing the various origamis around the room. "admiring my origami i see." kaminari stated as he handed a cup to kirishima before sitting on the floor cup of water in hand sipping it slowly.
"yeah, when did you start making origami and why?" kirishima asked as he picked up a paper crane. "this one looks like a steve." kirishima said hearing kaminari chuckle.
"i started making origami a while back to distract myself from the insatiable urges." kaminari said as he grabbed a strip of gold paper, scribbled a message on it and folded up a star tossing it to kirishima who caught it. "only unfold and read the message if you want to talk it out tomorrow night." kaminari instructed having kirishima nod before kaminari got up and walked over to his pile of pokemon merch, pulling out a tyranitar plush and undoing the collar tossing it to kirishima. "i kept it here for you, you forgot it last time we hung out." kaminari said as he undid his looking at the inscription mina had put on, he only noticed it just recently.
"alright. i'll see you tomorrow. we dont say that we had this chat, understood?" kirishima asked as he walked to the door kaminari nodding before kirishima left to his dorm where he found bakugo already asleep on the pullout couch kirishima dropping down beside bakugo before sitting up and unfolding the star reading the coordinates on it before lying back in bed and drifting off to sleep.
mina walked out to the halls the next morning finding herself between kirishima and kaminari again, except no growls where interchanged, bakugo growled at kaminari, but kaminari stayed silent. "arent you supposed to growl back?" mina asked having kaminari say 'that he decided not to', shocking mina slightly. "weird, you always growl at each other." mina said walking into the class with the others.
"i should thank you pika." bakugo said catching kaminaris attention greatly, but his mood went from curiosity to rage when bakugo pulled over kirishima. "you went out of your way to get my teddy bear a collar." bakugo pulled down the turtleneck bit of the shirt kirishima was wearing, revealing the collar mina had bought for him, kirishima mouthing a small 'help me' subtly. "now everyone will know hes mine when they see the collar." bakugo smirked before walking to his seat kirishima following to his seat kaminari heading to his seat handing kirishima a scrap of paper that read 'yes or no?', kirshima marking the yes with a checkmark handing it back to kaminari.
the day hazed by for everyone, no humor was shared except for mina feeble attempts to ease up the tension in the room to no avail. "hey mina!" kaminari exclaimed grabbing minas attention seeing as how she dashed over.
"what did i miss?" she asked with a grin, knowing what it was the second she saw the spiked collar around kaminaris neck. "oh... no need to answer, i think i already know." mina smirked noticing kaminari turned a shade of red. "and would you look at that im right..." mina said with a light chuckle. "go getem tiger."
kaminari traversed the foresty area he had discovered with kirishima before the fight, climbing into the hayloft of the abonded barn walking around until he found the mattress and table set up. "smells like happy memories." kaminari muttered as he flopped onto the bed, flipping up his hood, smiling softly as he started to braid the hay strands nearby. "just like when i was younger..." he mumbled sitting up and combining the five braids to make a hay crown which he placed beside him, grabbing a few more strands and starting to braid them into his hair so it would appear more hay like, the look he loved but never got a chance to show off. "full moon looks pretty tonight." kaminari muttered looking through the hole in the roof hearing footsteps and quickly turning to see who it was.
"hey." kirishima said as he sat next to kaminari having him place the hay crown on kirishimas head adjusting it slightly and smiling when he took a step back to look at kirishimas moonlit face. "like what you did with your hair." kirishima complimented having denki chuckle lightly at the compliment before asking for kirishima to let his hair down which was doen, allowing kaminari to braid some strands of hay into kirishimas ruby hair. "what did you want to talk about?" kirishima asked seeing kaminari turn red before undoing his collar.
"take off your collar." kaminari said having kirishima hesitate. "please, its important." kirishima undid his collar revealing more fresh bite marks, bruised and definitly going to leave a few more scars. "why didnt you fight back?" kaminari asked as his fists clenched tightly having kirishima sigh.
"hes stronger than me..." kirishima stated.
"i can figure out how to get rid of the scars later." kaminari said with a sigh as he lined up the collars reading the message. "lovers till death due us part... and till that point unseperateable..." kaminari read, first part on his collar second part on kirishimas collar. "thats why i asked you to meet me up here, i wanted to talk about the inscriptions on our collars." kaminari explained sheepishly not seeing mina chilling on one of the higher up planks eating pop-corn with a grin. "do you love me?" kaminari asked shyly.
"its sailing, its sailing!" mina thought her grin increasing.
kirishima stumbled over his words for a solid three minutes leaving kaminari in suspense. "i love you to." kirishima said, having kaminari let out a breath he didnt know he was holding. "but i cant..." kirishima said with a rueful sigh.
"wh-why not?" kaminari asked holding back tears starting to work on braiding something out of hay, mixing in a few flowers he grabbed on the way over to the barn, not noticing mina had started to panic.
"ive made it this far in guiding them to happiness it better not fail me now..." mina thought with an unoticable growl.
"bakugos in the way..." kirishima said with a slight growl at bakugos name. "he'll go to extreme lengths to get what he wants, and keep it his." kirishima explained. "if i break up with him and get together with you, itll only be putting you on his hitlist."
"i understand." kaminari said with a slight sniffle as he finished up the weave he was making. "but, dont forget that i'll always love you kiri." kaminari said with a sigh giving kirishima a short but sweet kiss. "a memento of my love." kaminri said handing the hay heart to kirishima who held onto it gently as kaminari hopped down rolling as he landed to prevent breaking his neck kirishima following suit leaving mina in the rafters.
"mission failed..." she said with a sigh hopping down and walking out of the barn following close behind the two, until they noticed.
"mina." kaminari said taking a deep breath. "did you witness that entire interchange of emotions between me and kirishima?" mina only chuckled sheepishly in response. "why?" kaminari asked.
"ive been guiding you two both to true happiness." mina explained. "i thought the messages on the collars would be enough." mina continued her explanation. "but i left bakugo out of the calculation, which was a dumbass move on my end." mina chuckled shyly at that part playing with her thumbs slightly.
"minas right." kirishima said wrapping an arm around kaminaris shoulders catching kaminari off guard. "itll be best if we get in a relationship, of course that includes you to mina." kirishima pulled mina in for a hug with his other arm smiling brightly. "just got to keep it secret thats all."
"it can be done." kaminari said. "every week on wednesday plus the weekends we meet up at this barn." kaminari said having the others nod in agreement to his offer. "perfect, lets head back now before aizawa gets worried."
"it has sailed..." mina thought smiling as she was carried on kirishimas shoulder kaminari on the other. "and i boarded last second." she grinned at the fact.
THE END
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cultofbeatles · 5 years
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beginners guide to the beatles
 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 
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pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 
john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 
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born on october 9, 1940 
i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 
when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 
his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.
it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.
they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 
he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 
aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 
his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 
he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 
he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 
fashion icon.
hated school but loved art 
very early on he was insecure with himself 
teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 
he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 
paul taught him how to play guitar properly.
once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 
john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 
 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 
first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 
once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 
hate men. kill all men. 
when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 
slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.
only time her hit her.
read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 
once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.
founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.
instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 
main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.
was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 
was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 
would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 
had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 
suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 
was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 
once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.
truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.
“your famous ex husband”
he enjoyed playing monopoly. 
he once claimed that he saw a ufo.
he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.
 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.
he was afraid of the dark. 
found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 
was also legally blind without glasses.
never could catch a break huh.
said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.
the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.
wanted to write a musical with paul. 
once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.
would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 
just dudes being dudes. 
went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.
yoko says that john was bisexual.
once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 
hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 
made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 
only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 
murdered on december 8, 1980.
gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.
died at the age of 40.
“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.
and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 
and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 
honorable john moments that i love:
“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 
“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”
eric lennon on my mind today 
this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol
that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 
john lennon speaking nothing but facts 
when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.
SHUT UP 
“shut up while he’s talking..”
this interview breaks my heart sometimes 
and this interview is great as well 
sir james paul mccartney 
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born on june 18, 1942
if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 
idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 
he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 
his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 
when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 
the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.
I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.
but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.
the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 
he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.
never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 
had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 
met john and was accepted into his band 
sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.
went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.
connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 
had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 
was an ass to his first girlfriend.
kill all men again. 
almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.
was the one who introduced george harrison to john.
practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 
got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.
still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 
main force behind the beatles imo. 
without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 
was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 
when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.
they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.
directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?
when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.
was a little controlling at times. 
has a good heart though. 
mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 
was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 
everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.
he just wanted what was best for the band.
married linda and had a nice little farm. 
we love that story.
linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.
started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays
food meat. not the other kind of meat.
children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 
rip martha. 
WINGS!! 
he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.
 cried for a whole year bc of it.
still has dreams about john and says they're nice.
wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”
really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 
want someone to love me like paul does john. 
“think of me every now and then old friend.”
honorable paul moments:
his story about george’s dad 
“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”
humpty dumpty rap 
another story about him and george.
his google search video that I watch every week 
this 
george harrison 
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born: February 24, 1943 
or at least we think 
bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 
why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 
he was the youngest child.
baby of the family and of the beatles awwww
two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.
when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.
his mom was super supportive of his career choice 
when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.
his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.
george said nah
would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 
headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 
was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 
would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 
once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.
was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 
most sex craved beatle tbh 
once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 
he was the first beatle to go to america 
got a black eye for defending ringo once 
would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 
when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 
during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie
became a vegetarian at 22 
favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 
used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 
met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 
was turned down by her at first 
they married in 1966
wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 
a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 
got into eastern religion around 1965 
during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 
had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 
got a divorce from pattie in 1977
in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.
was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 
was buddies with led zeppelin
inspired their “rain song” 
smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 
he financed and produced films. had a production company.
tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 
but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”
formed another band called the traveling wilburys
he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.
“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”
in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 
thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 
had to get a part of his lung taken out 
died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 
ashes were scattered into the ganges river 
honorable george moments:
this interview he did with ringo 
“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”
when he invented reaction videos 
“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”
“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”
sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 
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born on july 7, 1940 
oldest member in the group 
has no siblings 
naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 
but does everything else left handed
when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 
was a very sick child 
when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 
grew up poor 
loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 
his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957
wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 
he worked for a britain railway for a while 
also served drinks on a day boat for a job 
loves dancing 
Rory storm and the hurricanes 
got his nickname from all the rings he would wear
replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 
dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 
had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 
ringo i'm so sorry 
george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 
in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.
was worried the beatles would replace him for good 
he’s a cancer don't worry
was the first beatle to try weed 
drummers always go first huh 
married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 
she kissed paul, ringo, and george.
what a champ
honeymoon was ruined by reporters 
was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 
had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 
but a great one with john 
john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo
was once in a movie with roger daltrey 
divorced maureen in 1975 
his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 
had alcohol problems 
once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 
put himself into rehab after that 
barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 
children: zak, lee, and jason
zak is the drummer for the band the who 
peace and love 
but don't send me fan mail anymore 
peace and love 
ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)
was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 
will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 
mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 
honorable ringo moments:
“do you want me to come with you?”
stupid barbara walters 
talking about paul 
giving us a little dance 
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Text
A Proper Apology
(I am honestly really happy that Abby gets her happy ending but she should have actually apologized properly. I hope it doesn't come across as Abby being a horrible person because she's not. But sometimes nice people whether they mean to or not do shitty things that hurt people. So I wrote this instead of sleeping. lol. If you like this please reblog.)
Tagging @datleggy
After leaving Buck at the park Abby felt out of sorts.
It had gone well, she'd thanked him for rescuing her fiancé, Sam, she'd explained why she'd let her and Buck's relationship and he'd told Abby that he was happy for her. So why did she feel so off?
Maybe it was because despite being back in L.A she hadn't considered to contact Carla.
Yes that was it. It would be nice to see her old friend, Abby couldn't remember the last time they'd actually spoken.
Mind made up, Abby scrolled down the contact list on her phone in search of Carla's number and physically blanched at the date of the last message.
Abby hadn't realised it had been so long.
Abby quickly sent of a text, asking if Carla was busy and if not would she like to meet up at that cafe they used to go to before Abby had left.
Fifteen minutes later Carla replied, saying she was surprised to hear Abby was in LA and yes it would be nice to meet up today but that the café Abby had suggested had shut down ages ago but that there was a nice enough one that Carla now visited and the instructions to get there.
Abby smiled and quickly phoned Sam to tell him she'd be a little while longer and that she loved him.
The café turned out not to be to far from where Abby and Sam where staying so she decided to walk. After all Abby had lived in LA for years, surely it had changed all that much on the time she was aboard.
Seeing Carla face to face for the first time in nearly three years was almost strange. But at least it was nowhere near as shocking as seeing Buck at the train wreckage a couple of days prior.
Carla was sitting at a table outside and waved Abby over when she spotted her long absentee friend.
Reaching the table Abby smiled brightly and readily accepted the hug Carla offered.
"I've missed you."
Carla pulled away, "I missed you too."
They sat and a waiter scurried over to take their orders.
Carla ordered a mocha capachino, Abby a white coffee.
"So, what are you doing back in LA. I have to say it was a surprise."
Carla smiled but her words sounded kinda, Abby wasn't sure, sad maybe.
"Well my fiance and I where -"
"Wait you're engaged? Since when?"
Abby frowned, she'd posted about the engagement on her Facebook page months ago.
She told Carla as much.
"Abby sweetie we're not friends on have Facebook anymore."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I guess I should have called."
Carla waves a hand dismissively.
"So you where telling me about being back in LA."
Abby nodded and began explaining about the train derailment and how she and Sam where staying at a hotel for the moment.
Oh honey I'm so glad you're okay. I can't believe it, I heard about it on the news. That must have been terrifying."
"It was so scary. And I lost Sam for awhile and I had no way of knowing if he was alive and then Buck showed up and that was so strange but he helped save Sam and we're good.
"You're good, you and Buck? After everything?" Carla sounded surprised.
"Well I spoke to him earlier today."
"And how was that?"
Abby sighed she hadn't really wanted to talk about Buck.
"Well I told him about Sam and his kids and how while I was traveling I realized that if I came back to LA I was just going to go back to being the Abby that was always looking after everyone else but me and that I didn't want to lose myself again to that. So I decided not to come back."
Carla leaned back on her chair, her usually bright and friendly faced closed off.
"That's it?"
"What do you mean?" Abby recoiled at Carla's tone.
"Abby that boy waited for you for months, he looked after your apartment, all your things, even your mail and you just stopped talking to him. Honey, he came to me near tears wondering if he should give up on you or not."
Carla took a large sip of her drink.
"Please tell me you at least apologized."
"I, I explained. I -" Abby stutters.
"Explained what? That you didn't want to face up to the fact you didnt want a relationship with him anymore."
Carla shook her head in disbelief. She stood up and motions for a waiter to come to take her bill.
"Abby you ghosted him and it broke his heart. He deserves a proper apology. I'm happy for you Abby I am but I love that boy too and he's been through far to much this past year not to get the closure he needs from you."
Carla quickly pays for her drink, tells Abby to try and stay in touch and gives her another tight hug before leaving.
A lump settles in Abby's throat that doesn't go away even when she gets back to the hotel.
Sam smiles up at her from where he's sitting on the bed. The girls are in the room attached to theirs, the TV playing loudly.
Sam's face is bruised and scratched but he's alive and whole and Abby is grateful to Buck for once again being there when she needed him.
Sitting down next to her fiancé Sam asks how her afternoon went and Abby tells him about meeting Buck and then Carla. And how uneasy it had made her feel.
Sam smile drops and he take her hand between his own.
"I think your friend Carla is right. I didn't realize that was how you'd broken up with you last boyfriend. To be honest that's a pretty shitty thing to do."
He wiped away the tears that spill from Abby's eyes at his admission.
Hey, I'm not mad. And from what you've told me this Buck guy has been very understanding. But Abby I don't want you to regret never making things right between you." Sam wraps his arms around her and Abby cries into his shoulder.
That night Abby lies awake and goes over the memories of her and Buck's relationship of the conversation and how hurt Buck had been over the way she'd spoken to him. She thought over and over about what she had said and after talking with Carla Abby's excuse of being worried about losing herself to Buck sounded hollow and almost cruel.
Buck was the one who hadn't run away when he'd found out about Abby's mom, unlike Tommy. He'd been patient and understanding whenever Abby had to cancel or cut dates short. He had shied away from offering help when Abby's mom had a bad day.
She'd even told him the night she decided to leave to Ireland that Buck was the person who had helped her to start to find herself when she'd been drowing in her life as a first responder and carer to a dying mother.
He'd made her feel special and important and Abby had just thrown it all back in his face.
The realisation of this sits like lead in her stomach. Abby turns to look at Sam and watches the man she loves sleep. A man who would most likely be dead if Buck hadn't risked his life to save.
Abby knows that Sam and Carla were right, she needed to truly make amends with Buck.
Early the next morning Abby walks to the 118 firehouse and uses the time to thing over what she needs to say. The station doesn't look any different from the last time she'd been here, but so much has changed.
As she waits several cars pull up and when she looks up she sees Buck walking towards the station entrance bumping shoulders with another man. As they get close Abby recognises him as the firefighter she'd first spoken to the night of the accident.
"Abby?"
She shuffles her feet, " Hi buck."
The other firefighter claps Buck on the shoulder
"I'll tell cap you'll be a minute."
Bucks smiles after him as he walks away "Thanks Eddie."
Abby watches Eddie leave before turning back to Buck, she tries to smile but it comes out as an awkward grimace.
"Buck I," she paused, "I'm so sorry. Yesterday I should have apologized for how I treated you instead of making excuses I see that now. And I apologize for ghosting you, for leading you on when I knew I was never going to come back to you. It was wrong and I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I truly am. And maybe one day we could be friends again."
Buck sighs deeply, he curls into himself slightly and the change in posture makes him look oddly small.
"Abby I told you that I'm happy for you. And I meant it, I'm happy you've found a family and someone to love. And part of me I would like to be your friend." Buck tells her, voice quiet but sincere.
He shakes his head and straightens up. Standing tall Buck smiles that brilliant smile that still makes Abby swoon a little inside.
"But you know what Abby? You took me for granted and yesterday made me realize just how much. I loved you and I waited for you. But eventually I was done being your ghost and I've moved on too. And I'm happy without you. I've got a job that I love and I have a family full of amazing people who love me and I'm happy."
Buck's eyes a red and wet with tears and Abby can feel herself crying as well.
For a moment they stand face to face like they had done before Abby walked into the airport for her flight to Dublin so long ago.
Then Buck looks over his shoulder into the station and back again. He wiped a hand over his face and shrugs.
"I better go, my shift's already started."
It's a pretty clear dismissal and one Abby takes without complaint.
"Goodbye Abby Clark."
"Goodbye Evan Buckley."
And with that he heads inside without a backwards glance.
Several months later a week before Christmas Abby gets a card in the mail.
On the front is a picture of Buck and his friend Eddie, between them is a little boy with curly hair and bright blue glasses. Buck has a hand on the boys shoulder, a ring on his finger.
Inside (with large wobbly letters that have clearly written by a child) the card reads, 'Merry Christmas from the Buckley-Diaz family!'
And underneath in much smaller writing,is a mobile number that despite everything Abby never deleted and a single worded question, 'friends?'
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