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cheynovak · 7 months

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Crush Part 2

Dean Winchester x Reader (Y/N) & Sam Winchester (platonic)

Warnings: Fluff, sexual tension, implied smut, alcohol, trauma, nothing too extreme,

This story might not follow the SPN timeline.

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

Words: 4602

Short recap of part 1:

Y/N is a high school crush/friend of Sam, when they were 16 y/o they attended the same school for a while. Sam spends his entire time hanging out with her, trying to ask her to prom, only one problem, Y/N likes Dean. Now years later the brothers path crosses again with Y/N, unfortunately she got kidnapped and hurt by vampires.

Dean and Y/N are falling for each other again. But how will they deal with the trauma in their lives.

Please check out my masterlist for more stories.

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Y/N opened the blankets, gesturing him to lay down next to her, doubtfully he crawled into bed next to her. For a second, they were looking into each other’s eyes. If the circumstanced where different he would have kissed her now. But instead, she pulled herself closer to him, her face was snugged against his shirt, she could hear his steady heartbeat. Dean’s chin touching her hair, he tugged an arm around her pulling her close. She let go of a sigh “I had a bad dream.” She confessed. “I’m here, try to get some sleep.” he kissed her head.

Sam woke up by the sunlight on his face. He lifted his head to see if Dean was still sleeping. Noticing he wasn’t on the couch anymore, he turned around finding Y/N and Dean in the bed next to him. Slowly he realised what happened the night before, Y/N the girl both he and his brother cared for, the one person he didn’t want to know about their life was attacked by vampires. All because they tracked down their sent to her.

At first Sam thought it was a cute scene until he saw the tension. He noticed how Y/N was clinging on to Dean with the little strength she had, while the older brother had his arms wrapped around her, tight. Y/N must have woken up and got scared or had a bad dream. And Dean probably felt guilty for what had happened to her, wanting to make sure to protect her.

The younger Winchester got up quietly, wrote a note that he went for breakfast and new clothing for Y/N, thinking she wouldn’t want to go out looking like a bloodbath.

Even though Sam was very smooth in his movement the closing of the door woke Dean up. He glanced down seeing Y/N hadn’t moved since he crawled in the bed with her. His shirt still clenched in her hand, her face still as close as possible to his chest, like she was trying to hide. He turned slightly, to look at the clock behind him, trying not to wake Y/N, 9 a.m.

“Don’t go.” he heard her mumble. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.” He placed his head back on top of hers. “Dean?” - “hm?” - “I’m sorry, for yesterday. Seeing you, killing that... thing. It scared me.” He moved a little so he could look at her. “Oh no, you shouldn’t be sorry. I am, I should have stayed or even better, never went home with you. It’s my fault they found you.”

“You regret meeting me?” He saw the tears building in her eyes. “No, no not at all, I just wish you didn’t have to know about all of this.” His hand moved to her cheek as he kissed her head. “Just because we were somewhat forced into it doesn’t mean you should have.” Y/N moved herself on to one arm looking down at Dean. “How do you mean forced?”

“Our dad, this was, is the reason why we move around so much.” Y/N processed his words for a while. “So, when Sam and I were at school.” - “My dad and I killed monsters.” - “And Sam knew?” Dean nodded. “Why, how do you even start a life like that.” Dean took his time to explain everything to her. How they lost their mom, that his dad was keen on finding the demon, that they killed it but that he and Sam now kept doing the job.

“You guys never thought of stopping, starting a normal life?” She asked while placing her hand very slowly on his shoulder, letting her fingertips glide over his skin. “Sam did, he went to college, thanks to your ‘you don’t need to be like your dad’ speech.” Y/N smirked while Dean could see the wheels spinning in her head. After a moment of silence, she asked him. “What about you?” Dean normally would laugh something like that off, pretend he loves what he is doing, but he felt like he had a chance to be honest with Y/N.

“I never really thought about it, it felt like it was my duty. But it slipped in my mind, once or twice.” He grabbed her hand that was still drawing figures on his skin and brought it up to his lips. “That night when I dropped off your dress and last night.” - “Really?” Y/N looked shocked. “Yes. Why is that such a surprise?” - “I don’t know, I always thought I was a fling, for you passing your time.”

Dean looked shocked, he moved himself, sitting with his back against the bed railing leaving his legs covered with the blankets. He opened his mouth, the second he wanted to tell her how he felt Sam walked in. “Hey you’re up, bought some new clothes and breakfast. Hope you’re hungry, Y/N. ” -”Eh, yeah, I could eat. But I’m going to change first. Don’t wait for me, dig in.”

Y/N lifted herself of bed, feeling a little wonky on her legs, “Ow, I got you.” Sam rushed to hold her arms while Dean lifted himself to his knees on the bed, to hold her back. “Guys I’m fine, just a little dizzy, you can let go.” She said walking slow to the bathroom.

“How is she?” Sam asked his brother, “I think she will process it.” Dean said, thinking about his next words wisely. “I don’t want to leave her like this Sam.” - “Ok, what do you suggest?” - “Taking her with us? Or do you want to stay?” Y/N overheard them talking. “I don’t want you guys to stop living your life because of me.”

“We can’t leave you like this sweetheart.” - “Then I’ll come with you.” - “No, no way!” - “Dean, how much worse can it be?” She was determent. Dean and Sam exchanged a look, making Y/N’s shoulders sink. “That bad huh?” The brothers nodded in sync. “There is so much more than vampires out there.”

After a few hours of discussing the future the three of them came to a solution. They would stay in town for a few months seeing how things will go, trying to give up hunting. Dean wanted to be with Y/N and Sam felt they at least needed to see if things could lead to a bright future. But one condition Sam had to stay in town, Dean wouldn’t be able to adjust without his brother. Sam himself didn’t mind that.

After a few weeks of healing Y/N was physically fully recovered. Dean and Sam moved into her apartment, so they didn’t have to pay for motels anymore. Dean and Y/N shared a bed, while Sam took the spare room.

One morning Y/N woke up from a bad dream, although the days went by smoothly without too much trauma and memories, the nights were a hell. Every night or early morning she would wake up drenched in sweat, clinging on to Dean’s shirt. This morning wasn’t different from the others.

Usually she was able to sneak out to take a quick shower before Dean would notice she was gone. But today Dean felt the emptiness next to him. He woke up immediately feeling worried, but then he heard the sound of the shower. By the time he got outside the bathroom door the water stopped.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” Even though Y/N and Dean shared a bed together they were still very private when it came to the bathroom, part from that one night. Dean felt she needed time to get used to him being in her personal space, they didn’t even name the kind relationship they had yet. Where they friends, lovers, something you can’t name?

“Y/N?” he repeated “Please answer me sweetheart.” She still didn’t answer. Now he was really worried. “Y/N if you don’t answer I will kick this door in!” Silence.

Dean took a step back and planted his foot against the door, forcing enough power to open the door.

Y/N jumped up by the sound of the door breaking. Covering her body with her hands. Dean rushed in only to find her almost completely naked part from her panties. “What the fuck Dean!” she yelled. “Why didn’t you answer me?!” He matched her tone “I didn’t hear you!” - “Oh come on Y/N! I called for you three times!”

“Can you please, I don’t know turn around.” Then the shyness came in, he looked at her realising she wasn’t dressed. “Oh eh, yeah I-I'm sorry.” He turned his back to her so she could grab a bathrobe. “I really didn’t hear you.” she said while wrapping the robe. “I was worried.” he answered secretly peaking at her. “Don’t be.”

“What were you doing?” - “I was looking at my... scars.” she answered a little ashamed not being able to form a lie. She turned back to the large mirror, “I used to think that my body was mutilated with my stretchmarks but these bitemarks...” She took a deep breath. “How am I ever going to...” She stopped her sentence there.

Dean walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, his face next to her looking in the mirror. “You want to know what I see?” - “Please don’t say beauty.” - “That too, but no, I see a survivor. A strong woman.” - “Strong...” she mumbled, “I wake up every morning in fear, I take a shower just to cry without anyone hearing it. Tell me Dean, how is that strong?”

“You’re dealing with your emotions, that’s good.” He locked eyes with her via the mirror. “Am I? Ok, then why haven’t we talked about us yet?” - “What do you mean?” Dean wasn’t sure what she meant. “What are we?” - “Anything you want us to be Y/N. I told you I want to be with you.” - “No, you said you can’t leave me alone, that sounds like an obligation.”

Dean tilted his head “What are you saying? I’m giving you time to, I don’t know, deal with your trauma.” Y/N pinched her nose. “What are you saying Y/N?” She could hear the desperation in his voice. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I want something.”

“Something or someone?” His hold on her loosened “Don’t turn my words against me Dean!” - “Ok, then be honest to me, to yourself... Do you want me?” - “I don’t know.” - “Do you want me to leave?” - “I don’t know.” Dean felt like he just got hit with a brick in his stomach. “What do you mean you don’t know?” He asked but his voice got louder. “I just... I don’t know Dean!” She almost yelled.

“I’m scared ok! I’m scared of my nightmares, memories of going outside, I’m scared someone, or something will come for us...” She started to ramble. “Of me?” He asked so quiet he thought she wouldn’t have heard it. “Yes!” Y/N answered before even realising what she had said. She could see Dean’s face change.

He took a few steps back. “You are scared of me.” - “I don’t know if I'm scared of you or just scared of what you do.” She grabbed Dean’s hand. “Are you scared of Sam?” She shook her head. “I know it’s ridiculous since he has been killing the same monsters and all, but.” - “You didn’t see him killing anything.” he finished her sentence.

“Is that why you flinch every time I initiate a hug or even touch?” She nodded. “But you hug me, you hold me at night. Christ you’re holding my hand right now.” A tear rolls over Y/N’s cheek. “I can bare it when I take the first move. My mind seems to be at peace with it, while when you touch me without me knowing you are going to, I cramp up.”

There were so much more questions lingering in the air. So much more that need to be said and asked. But Sam as usual had the best timing ever. “Hey Dean... Bobby called, wow, what happened here?” He looked at the door before looking at Y/N and Dean.

“Bobby called?" Dean repeated not wanting to answer his question. “Eh yeah, he needs us. He said it’s an emergency, he wouldn’t have called otherwise he said.” Dean turned back to Y/N, “You should go.” Was all she said.

Dean was packing his bag when Y/N sat next to it on the bed. Dean slowed down for a second and looked at her. He opened his mouth and closed it again only to focus on getting his bag filled. He turned to the drawer she emptied months ago for him. Pulling out some shirts. “Dean?” - “Hm?” - “Saying you should go didn’t mean I want you gone.” - “Oh no sweetheart, this might be good for you. Us." He corrected.

“It’s just, the way you and Sam talk about Bobby, it seems like he isn’t the kind of guy to call when it isn’t important.” - “You’re right again.” Dean said still not looking at her, trying to sound neutral. Y/N grabbed his arm. “Dean...” His eyes glided from where she was holding him over to her eyes.

Y/N lifted herself on her toes to very slowly close the space between them. Closing her eyes. Her lips brushed against his, barely touching him. When she opened her eyes, she let out a soft shacky breath. “Be safe ok?”

That was the first time since the attack they shared a kissed. But to Dean, instead of feeling like a step forward it felt too much like a goodbye kiss. He grabbed his bags and walked to the car, he sees Sam and Y/N hug, her almost squeezing him to dead. “Be careful ok, come back in one piece or I'll come for you Winchester!”

Dean was never, not once in the time they lived with her jealous of their relationship, he knew she saw Sam as her best friend and vica versa. But her hugging Sam without restraining a shiver made him wish for a split second she saw Sam kill the monster and not him.

As months gone by Y/N had to learn to be alone again, she had to overcome her fears, go outside, going to the store for groceries. She learned to be confident again. Sam would call once a week, telling her, they were safe, not telling what they were doing. She would ask how Dean was, mostly she would hear him yell that he was fine, sometimes he would come on the phone, not saying much.

One job turned into another one, and another one, and another...Sam’s weekly calls turned into two weeks, once a month... and him saying Dean is fine, he is sleeping or hunting. It had been a while since she heard from any of the boys. And when she called neither answered their phoned, which part from the rest was usual.

Y/N figured her words had hurt Dean so much that he didn’t want to come back. But the truth is that he was in hell and that Sam didn’t want to tell Y/N. He forgot to call her because he was trying to find a way of getting him out of there. And unconsciously not wanting to lie to her.

After 4 months Dean got out of the pit, he had trouble to adjust, so he did the one thing he thought could make him feel a little better. He drove miles and miles, hours on end to stand in front of Y/N apartment. It was late, he rang the doorbell, nervous for her reaction. He knew Sam didn’t said anything to her, and he was glad he didn’t.

“Hello?” - “Y/N? It’s me.” silence on the other end. “Y/N?” He heard the door unlock he got in, by the time he got up the stairs she already stood in the door, wearing a bathrobe, hair pulled up in a high bun. “Dean? Oh my god!” She wrapped her arms around him the second she could, hugging him tight, pulling herself close against him, her smell filled Dean's nostrils. He let out a sigh before he found the strength to lift his arms around her, answering her hug.

"I'm so glad to see you." He heard her saying, sound being muffed against his jacket. "I wasn't sure you wanted to see me." He admitted. "Are you crazy, I was worried sick. Even Sam stopped calling me." After a good minute of hugging they let go, she led him inside. Afraid to let go of his hand until they stood in the kitchen. "You look like you could use a drink." His lip curled. "I do." - "Bad day?" “More like bad forty years.” She turned to him, looking confused. "Or so it feels like." He added.

She turned back around, he saw how she had to get on her toes to grab the bottle. Seeing how her robe and dress lifted up. barely covering her behind, unable able to grab the bottle.

Dean got up, his hand moved hers away "I got you." He whispered standing behind her grabbing the bottle for her. She turned to him, her eyes lighted up when he looked at her. "Thanks."

Dean couldn't help but to lay his hand on her lowered back. Noticing how she didn't flinch at his touch anymore. "I'm glad I drove to see you." His voice sounded deeper than usual.

Y/N felt the air shifting between them. Making her breath out a soft sigh. She handed him his glass, his hand touched hers while he locked eyes, taking a sip.

Thinking there was no way he could tell her all the things he did in hell. But he was sure to tell her how he feels about her. Or at least trying to.

"Y/N, I..." his words faded, feeling shy and embarrassed walking in her house at this time of the night, wanting to tell her, she was the one he thought about day and night. "It's ok. I know" She said while rubbing her hand over his shoulder. "You don't want to be alone tonight. You need someone to hold you until your sorrow goes away... Am I right?"

Dean felt like he was nailed to the ground, of course she understood him, he nodded slow. "I don't know what happened, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to. Just know I'm here for you." Those words released his body. His hand gripped the back of her head, pulling her in while his lips found their way to hers.

This kiss was different from all the others they had shared before. Y/N quickly felt breathless, she could feel the need Dean had to be close to her, to touch her. His hands moved hungry over her body, his lips glided over her cheek to her neck like a man on a mission.

She felt his hand move under the silk of her nightdress, soft squeezing her flesh. He lifted her up on the counter, moving so he could stand in between her legs, while his hand moved up and down her thighs. Like a man possessed he let go of her, only touching her forehead with his. He kept his eyes closed. "Oh god, this wasn't my intention. This isn't the reason I'm here. I'm so sorry, Y/N." Her hands covered most of his face, holding him up. "Hey look at me."

Their eyes meet again. "I know, but if this is what you need. It's ok. I don't mind." she kissed him, trying to prove to him that he didn't need to defend his actions. "You sure?" - "Yes, Dean, I'm sure. I want you too." she smiled softly.

He lifted her up, carrying her to the bedroom where, for the first time in a very long time their love for each other finally blossomed into a night of passion.

Even though they spend most of the night making love to each other, Dean felt unable to sleep. Feeling Y/N's body against his did miracles in a way that he hoped it would. He was more at ease, drawing circles on her back, playing with her hair, while he watched her sleeping. Noticing she didn't clench to him anymore, happy she found her inner peace while he was gone.

By morning he did manage to fall asleep, unfortunately not for long. Her alarm went off, Dean startled awake, seeing Y/N rushing in the bedroom drenched, with nothing but a towel around her. “I’m so, so sorry, I thought I had it turned off this morning. Didn’t mean to wake you.” She said looking apologetic. She took a seat next to him in bed. “I made pancakes.” Her hand moving over his fluffy bed hair before giving a small peck on his lips.

“That’s great. But I crave for something else.” - “Oh, ok what you do you wan... DEAN!” Dean pulled her over him to the other side, hovering over her, making her yelp his name. “Did last night not satisfy you mister Winchester?” Y/N joked while accepting his lips on her neck. “I think I might have a new addiction.” He mumbled against her skin. Y/N turned Dean back around, her towel loosened clearly to the satisfaction of Dean.

Her lips closing in on his ear. “I’m afraid this will have to wait, I have to go to work.” She teased and jumped of the bed disappearing in the bathroom again. Letting Dean drop his head against the pillow. “Do you really need to work today?” - “I’m afraid so.” She walked out again, fully dressed, ”You showing up at my doorstep doesn’t make my world stop spinning Dean.” She saw the painful look on his face, realising what she just said might have sounded harsh.

“I-I mean, for all I know you’ll be gone by the time I get home.” Dean grabbed her arm and pressed his lips against her wrist. “Not this time, I promise.” She nodded believing him. “I’m home around five. Make yourself at home.”

Dean did make himself at home, he made himself useful, the moments Y/N had to work he took care of her daily chores, like dishes, dinner, shopping. Living the semi normal life brought him peace in his mind.

Weeks later.

Y/N got in her car looking at her phone wanting to text Dean she’ll run a little late, seeing Sam had called her 3 times. Immediately dialling back. “Y/N? Please tell me Dean is with you?” -” Yeah, he is, for like 4 weeks now. Why what’s wrong Sam?” - “I’ve been trying to call him for days. I got worried.” - “He is staying at my place. But he is...” - “Off?” Sam asked. “You could say that.”

“Y/N... Dean had a” he chose his words wisely, “horrible experience a few months back. I might have pushed him into talking about it, and he ran. Saying he needed time to heal or process I don’t know, but I haven’t heard from him since.” - “Sam, he has nightmares, not regular ones. He is terrified when he wakes up. And he pretends it’s nothing.” She took a deep breath, “I know he won’t talk to me, so please, Sam, what happened to him?”

“There she is!” Dean yelled from the kitchen. “Made your favourite.” He could see there was something off about Y/N, she looked worried. “Something wrong?” - “Dean, I just heard from Sam.” The tension in the room changed. “Let me guess, he told you.” She nodded. “Great!” He threw the oven mitts in the sink, turning his back to Y/N while looking out the window.

“The question is, why didn’t you?” She wrapped her arms around him kissing his shoulder. “I didn’t want to concern you.” - “I’m concerned since that night you stood at my door, I see you have not been sleeping well. You know you can thrust me right?” He looked at her over his shoulder. “I know I just, I don’t want to scare you again.” - “Dean, it’s hell we’re talking about. Of course, it’s scares me as much as it scares you. But that is why we need to talk.”

“What did Sam say exactly?” He looked at his hands. “Well, that you were in the pit for 4 months but that it was different for you, like 40 years, right?” She took a pause. “And that you were forced to... torture souls the last 30 years of it.” She saw his jaw clench. “I didn’t want you to be afraid of me again, of what I do, what I did.” He turned around now, finally looking her in the eye. “I’m not. You did what you had to. I don’t believe that was you, the real you.”

“Dean, I think you need to go back to bobby’s.” Y/N could see the shock in his eyes. “I think you need to keep hunting, I don’t believe being here, playing houseman is the right way to cope with all this. Not for you, maybe for now but long term, you need your brother.” He shook his head “I said I wouldn’t leave you again.” - “You won’t, I’m coming with you.” He shook his head again. “No argument Winchester. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

Dean and Y/N arrived at Bobby’s place. Sam and Bobby heard the sound of the impala and came outside to greet them. “Sammy!” Y/N jumped out of the car to give him a big hug. “God I missed you big fella.” She laughed. “Missed you too, This is Bobby, Bobby meet Y/N.” They shook hands, “Heard a lot about you kid.” - “Likewise.”

Both turned to face Sam and Dean, the brother hugged by the car. “Is he going to be ok?” Y/N asked the old man. “He needs time, loads of it, but he has you.” - “Us” she corrected him. He gave her his approval smile, he clearly liked her already. “Thanks for bringing him home.”

As months went by, Y/N stopped renting her apartment, dropped her job and helped Bobby, making her some sort of an assistant whenever he wasn’t able to pick up the phone or multiple hunters needed intel, she would help him, learning about monsters and hunting. Dean wouldn’t want her to go on hunts, but Bobby taught her all about the research and handling the ‘FBI’ scams.

And although the grumpy man was keen on his privacy, Y/N felt like a daughter he never had. Secretly liked that she was living with him, not being alone all the time anymore and thanks to her the boys would drop by more often, not just when they need him.

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Crush Part 3 out now

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lol-jackles · 4 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/lol-jackles/751492455317274624/at-every-convention-j2-talks-about-a-new-season-of

Do you really think a SPN revival would work without both Sam and Dean? (Asking non-aggressively. Tone is hard to convey in text.). We have seen every spin-off concept without them both fail so far.

I’m not saying a good story couldn’t be told with Dean II focus, but the magic behind SPN was always Jared and Jensen together. Otherwise, it’s just another found family, supernatural story (and there are a few). It was Sam and Dean’s unhinged codependency and J2’s chemistry that made the OG SPN so compelling.

Personally, at least, I don’t think I’d care about a story that didn’t have both brothers.

I wish Jared (and Jensen) wouldn’t hype a revival if there isn’t any real intention behind it. Surly people are showing up at cons without dangling the carrot, and if no revival happens they will dry up eventually. They already are. Yo an extent. Teasing a revival is not “what I want to hear” if it isn’t actually intended.

Ugh. I hate Hollywood BS. Even the nice actors, why say they care, are lying to you.

I should have clarified that the revival ideally be a mix of Dean II stories and Sam and Dean stories set between 15x19 and 15x20. Fans and Jared like to think there was 5 years between those two episodes and as long as J2 maintain their weights, they can pull it off. With Jack remaking heaven and keeping the angels away from earth and Rowena keeping demons away from the Winchesters, the brothers’ hunts return to the more simple days of monster hunting. My personal favorite fanfic idea is Sam’s adult hunter grandchildren (played by Colin Ford and Brock Kelly) time travel back to 2020 to search for a valuable artifact, only to run into Sam and Dean one month before 15x20. The grandchildren of course cannot tell Sam and Dean who they really are as Sam and Dean help them find the artifact. As the grandchildren spend more time with Sam and Dean, they come to really like Dean and want to warn him of his impending death. But then they realized that if Dean lives, Sam won’t leave hunting, won’t meet their grandmother, and they will cease to exist.

This will be the length of limited series as there's no 20+ episodes anymore and instead release 10 episodes for couple of seasons.

Jared and Jensen know that WB is going to attempt a revival or spinoff sooner or later, might as well keep their names attached to it because you never know if the next WB executive may try to make their mark by saying Sam and Dean who? Jared in particular doesn't want the inevitable spinoff or reboot or revival to dilute the Supernatural brand. Think of George Takei's public complaints that every new Star Trek spinoff was diluting the OG brand.

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lailawinchesterr · 5 months

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part two, jared’s help [jensen ackles]

series masterlist | main masterlist

two,

"You need to stop this. It's stupid." That but was obvious. I know it’s stupid, but so what? I can do whatever i wanted, it’s my life. "No, don't even think about it, Laila. This isn't a 'i can do whatever i want' situation. You're really hurting Jensen, and he's my best friend." Now that hit.

"I didn't mean to." I mumble lowly, giving him my back as i pour both cokes into ice filled glasses, then blending some pomegranate syrup into it. He sighs, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I know, but you need to do better. You can't keep running away like this, it's been twelve months. At least talk to him. Be in a room with him without looking like you saw a ghost." I nod once but it doesn't seem to register what he's asking because he clears his throat and tries again, "Laila, i'm setting you both up to hangout tomorrow."

My eyes widen as i stop pouring the drinks and turn to look at him. "What the fuck did you do?"

"I just told him that you guys would hang out tomorrow at the diner next to your apartment. you should've seen how his eyes lit up, Lils, come one, you need do this." My stomach twists and turns at both the news and Jensen’s reaction. I know I’m bad, but not that much, right? God, maybe I had been rude this past year especially with him and Danneel’s divorce. I don’t even see him anymore.

"Okay..." I hesitate and Jared gives me a worried glance. "But can we just drop it after this? We don't talk about it again and i'll stop coming to set if it upsets him."

"That's not what upsets him and you know it, you're always welcome on set we love having you there." I glare at him to shut up and he does, taking the small win.

We make dinner until Gen comes back from the store and then all sit to eat. i’ll never get tired of this, my little family. I know how hard it was for Jared to accept that he actually has Gen in his life so he used to have me ground him, come on some of their dates to make sure he wasn't being played. It annoyed Gen at first, but now that she's gotten to understand Jared, she knows how much our friendships means to both of us so she came up with the idea of having 'family' dinners every Sunday, just the three of us.

"You did what?" Mad was an understatement. Jensen had told his best friend his feelings towards the Laila situation in confidence not so he can run off and tell her the first chance he gets. Jensen wanted to at least appear to have some dignity in front of her, she used to be Danneel's best friend for God's sake.

"I just told her that you guys need to talk more, told her you'd love to go out with her and she agreed."

"Right, but i think you forgot to do something, Jared, really minor," he says, voice laced with sarcasm, "asking me whether or not i actually would love to go out with her."

"You wouldn't?" that's not the point, not the one Jensen was making anyways. What he meant was that... damn you, Jared. that's what he meant.

"You can curse me out all you want but i did you a solid. You guys needed to go out at least once in your life. I'll give you her number and the address of the place. You two firgure out a time, i'm not doing all the work."

"All the work? Who asked you to do anything at all?" Jared rolls his eyes but snatches his friends phone to add Laila's number in anyways. Jared knows Jensen's just letting his frustration out, he doesn't actually care, in fact, if he didn't know any better he'd say he's excited.

"Text her tonight cause i told her you're going out tomorrow. Don't make me look bad."

"It isn't a date."

"Yeah? Might as well be with how you two are acting." Jared rolls his eyes and walks onto set where he's called.

"Whatever." He mumbles like a child, checking the phone number under the contact 'Laila Rhodes SPN SET' as if he needed a reminder of where he knows her from. Jensen, though he'd never admit it, is actually excited and very pleased with his friend for setting this up, he wants to talk to laila more than anything seeing as he's spoken to her as much as he's spoken to the crafts team, probably a little less even if she used to come over.

When she'd be at their house, Danneel would more often than not shoo jensen away to go make coffee for them or hang out with the kids, or any other stupid excuse. At first, he thought it was because she didn't want them to meet but she later told him that Laila's very shy around new people and she didn't want her to leave. Jensen understood so he bit his tongue, but now, he's known her for 5 years, shy or not, they'd have to talk eventually. He'd make sure of it.

part three

#supernatural #jensen ackles x you #supernatural imagine #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen fucking ackles #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fic

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laf-outloud · 10 months

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//I'll never look at Jensen the same way, even if Jared has forgiven and moved on. //

This. 1000x this.

It’s not that I hate Jensen or anything. I was a Jensen leaning J2 fan. Dean is my favorite character.

He’s just not the person I thought he was.

It’s been 2 years since prequel gate, and Jensen has yet to show any actions that redeems him of his shitty behavior. More so it’s done the opposite. It’s like blinders were removed and I saw the real Jensen, and since then, he seems to double down on the narcissistic and ego-driven behavior. TW, RC, FBBC, the way he never stands for anything except how to gain a buck.

Whereas I always hope to see the old Jensen come back—the person of integrity, the caring and giving character. Fun loving spirit.

I remember Jensen once said the best advice he received was “it’s important to have morals and values, like integrity and strength of character. Because if you don’t stand for something, then you fall for anything.”

Where is that dude??! Where did that guy go?? It seems the greed and ego of running the supernatural legacy made him lose his way and his values. He doesn’t seem to stand for anything now and why he falls for anything.

He tells fans what they want to hear versus standing up for Dean as a character or what the storyline of supernatural is. Where he used to do that before. In the last 2 years it’s just been about seeing dollar signs from the fandom. It’s just about the money and getting his ego fed.

It’s not about whether Jared forgave him.

To me, he’s become a washout. Nothing really special about him anymore. He ruined his own image himself and he’s been unable to redeem what I thought was his moral sensibilities. I’ve come to the conclusion that it may be that’s he’s possibly incapable of redemption. Jensen probably is the greedy, lazy, selfish and arrogant person he is presenting himself to be.

I hate to burst your bubble, but I don't think the old Jensen was who people thought he was. Going as far back to the YANA debacle, he's shown that he's willing to do whatever he can for his own good. (I would even posit that his talk with Jared about quitting in S3 was also for his own good.) It's just that during the run of SPN, his own good aligned with Jared and the show.

i also think he benefited from being in Jared's orbit. Having a really good person around can elevate someone beyond who they normally are, like supporting OutYouth when Jared did, or 'caring' about mental health after Jared publicly shared what he was going through.

I would also say that Jensen hasn't shown his better traits since the end of SPN because they just don't exist, or if they did, it was only ever surface level. That's not to say I would write him off completely. I wouldn't do that with anyone, but like you, I have a hard time seeing beyond the narcissist he's currently portraying to the world.

#ask box #anti jensen #narcissist jensen

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soullessjack · 1 year

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tbh a lot of the ways jack’s infantilization pops up is in discourse around him and dean and their relationship , especially after Mary’s death in game night. because everyone’s relentlessly clinging to the idea of jack as a pwecious widdle baby who can do no wrong, there’s this unanimous refusal to give him any accountability whatsoever for anything he does, particularly with killing mary and hurting dean so severely in the process. instead, everyone decides that dean is the bad guy for reacting to his childhood trauma unfolding again after he’d finally healed from it and got her back.

I mean spn fans fundamentally do not see jack as an autonomous person so it only makes sense that nobody can put him on equal footing in any of his relationship dynamics, but to vilify dean for having a very justified reaction to his fucking mother dying again is just an insane thing to do in the name of woobifying jack. yes, it was entirely accidental and yes, Jack is equally as traumatized by it, but that does not take away from the fact that what he did directly emotionally damaged sam and dean.

not only would a lot of fandom discourse benefit from realizing these are literally not normal functional healthy people dealing with normal situations that give them the liberty to approach said situations in normal functional healthy ways (dean promising to kill jack if he needed to in 13x02, & shooting jack in 13x23), but it would also benefit from realizing that jack is a grown ass invulnerable demigod with the capacity to cause a lot of major damage if he spins out of control, and he bears full responsibility for that damage (which is why it is actually so fucking stupid whej I see ppl say that jack becoming a baby would magically fix their conflict. no it fucking wouldn’t, you just don’t see jack as a full person with direct responsibility in said conflict and you don’t care about their relationship actually being healed mutually).

on the other hand, dean was reacting to a presumed threat almost immediately after losing two of his loved ones in a situation directly related to jack. he has every right to be wary and cautious, and given that he is actively traumatized and already an emotionally dysfunctional person from being abused by John, he isn’t exactly going to outlet his trauma healthily or behave in a way that miraculously breaks the cycle John created. I’m getting tired but lastly, ppl should also realize that jack is a grown ass adult with the emotional maturity to understand and forgive dean for the way he acted before—even while Dean actively struggles to forgive himself and tries to be as good a father as possible to make up for it.

Because again, their situation is not normal and they have no way of treating it or reacting to it normally. as far as jack knows and has seen of his powers, he is dangerous and is able to reach a point where he’s too much of a threat to keep alive. the tragedy of it is that he doesn’t want to be a threat, he doesn’t want people to fear or hate him and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. that’s why he says “you were right all along” in moriah. between dean and jack, a huge facet in their relationship is the question of whether or not dean is right, and by the time they’ve reached a point of mutually seeing each other as father and son that question is up in the air as something neither of them want. jack never wanted dean to be right, and now that dean knows jack as a person and as his own kid he especially doesn’t want to be right anymore.

just. Please start thinking of Jack as an actual autonomous person. That is literally all it comes down to. It will open up your world

#spn #supernatural #jack kline #dean winchester #dean&jack #moriah #mary winchester #spn fandom #fandom discussion #spn thoughts #long ass post sorry I drank black tea again #goodnight everypony

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crazylilad · 2 years

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I’ll do anything for you even if you won’t love me back PART 3

Masterlist

Last part I'll be doing of this story until further notice! It's been a journey getting so many replies asking for more of Y/N and Daryl and I'm pleased to say this isn't going to be the end of their story! I plan on finishing up s8-s10 (I'm not doing s11 because I haven't seen it yet) and then ending this oneshot/story.

Don't expect anymore parts anytime soon as I have more stories I want to write and don't want to focus all my attention on just one story.

Please make sure to reblog, like, or whatever you wanna do! That helps me want to continue writing these kinds of stories and to figure out what people want

Just a reminder, this is set in early season 7, around the beginning of the savior arc :)

Word count: 3198

If you'd like to be tagged or removed, please let me know!

@d1am0ndw0lfxd @eatinpeachs @thefemininemystiquee @infectedbydaryl @ellablossom @azanoni @shadylilac @fuseburner @my-obsession-spn

***

That night, Maggie and Sasha both decided to share a room with a couple of Hilltop’s residents so Y/N and Daryl could have the trailer to themselves. Daryl and her both had tried to decline, both coming up with different excuses, but the two girls didn’t relent.

Y/N knew Maggie was giving them privacy so Y/N could tell Daryl about her being pregnant, but Y/N couldn’t make herself say the words.

She was laid across Daryl’s bare chest, running a finger along one of his scars.

Daryl had told Y/N about his past, what happened to his mom and what his dad did to them all. He never let people see the ugly markings left, never let anyone touch him, but Y/N was different.

When they first started sleeping in the same bed, Daryl couldn’t help but be tense. He slept in his day clothes and wouldn’t touch Y/N, or let her touch him. Even if before sleeping together they would sneak kisses when no one was looking.

But soon enough, Y/N had caught him undressed and saw every part of him, even the broken parts.

She didn’t look at him any differently though. She didn’t even say anything as she got up and held him close, her stomach flat against his back as she softly caressed his scars. He stood there, dumbfounded and tense as tears flooded his vision.

That was the first time he had ever felt love before, the first time he had been hugged like that and told that he was perfect the way he was. Daryl wasn’t so sure if he believed it himself, but Y/N seemed pretty damn adamant that it was the truth, going as far as making him feel worthy of being cared for.

Now, as Y/N touches his scars once more, occasionally kissing one, he touched the few on her back and arms. She had gotten them throughout her time in this ugly world, most were from her time alone -and Daryl knew how dark those stories were- and the rest was from protecting their family.

His heart pounded as he thought of all the times he wasn’t there to protect her, when she didn’t know to protect herself.

Y/N hummed before getting up.

Their plates of food were discarded along with their clothes, Y/N’s necklace somewhere on the floor, hidden away from view. Neither of them could care less about the mess they had made in the little time they had been together again, they were just glad for the sense of security they felt in one another's arms.

“I was gonna come for you,” Y/N finally whispered. “I wasn’t going to leave you there… I’m-” But the words didn’t want to leave her mouth. I’m pregnant and I feel utterly useless against the saviors.

Daryl’s hand moved to Y/N’s bicep, his calloused fingers drawing aimlessly like Y/N had done to him so many times before.

“Ya don’t gotta explain yourself. I get it.” he murmured.

She sighed before kissing Daryl’s hand and tossing her clothes on. Their food was cold by now, yet neither of them complained as they both sat down and ate more than what they probably should’ve.

The next day, Daryl was watching Y/N. He had noticed her sluggish movements and how she snapped at everyone around her so easily. It was so different from the calm Y/N he knew.

When the saviors came unexpectedly, Y/N and him were separated, neither knowing where the other was. Y/N was hidden under a trailer, just barely out of sight while Daryl hid with Maggie in Hilltop’s food cellar. After about an hour or so, the saviors left and not long after Y/N and Daryl were headed back to their trailer and asleep for the rest of the night.

Daryl watched as she got undressed and burrowed herself under the mounds of blankets on their small bed. His knife tapped the table, leaving small markings on the wood as he tried to figure out what was bothering her that was so bad she was hiding it from him.

It was so unlike her, the usual girl who spent hours ranting about her issues if only to come up with a solution by herself was now more quiet than she had ever been. Daryl would listen every time she would rant to him, not speaking unless she asked him what his input was, but that rarely ever happened.

Y/N hated herself for that, always feeling like she was wasting his time, but Daryl would let her waste years of his life if it meant he could see her happy.

He smiled. She didn’t know it, but she was his better half, the half that could solve anything if she wanted to.

Y/N listened as he moved around the trailer and got ready for the night, her body shaking under the covers as she tried to get warm. When Daryl’s arms wrapped around her she wasted no time burrowing her head into his chest, the blankets going over her head as Daryl chuckled.

Y/N listened to his voice as he told stories, some about him and his older brother, and the trouble they always got into, and some about what he wanted to try to build at some point. Daryl whispered something about building them a log cabin in the middle of the woods when they were done fighting the Saviors, promising to find Y/N some sort of mutt they could have as a companion.

“We’ll name ‘em dog.” Daryl joked, smiling when he heard Y/N’s laugh.

It wasn’t long until they had fallen asleep, only to get up hours later. Neither of them were ready for the busy day to come; Jesus had told the both of you all about another community under Negan’s rule. To Daryl, that was all that was happening, but today was the day Y/N would tell him.

There was never going to be a good time to tell Daryl and Jesus mentioned there would be a doctor at this new place that could check on Y/N’s health.

With that said, Y/N slipped her boots on and followed Daryl out the trailer. She could see Rick as well as a few others from Alexandria walking through Hilltop. smiled as Rick and Daryl hugged each other tightly, tears glimmering in both their eyes.

Y/N made her rounds, hugging all of her friends, but she and Michonne hugged the longest, each saying words that they couldn’t convey properly.

Y/N felt awful for leaving right after a terrible argument, going as far as to wish to never see the couple ever again. She wanted more than anything to make it up to them, but didn’t know how.

She backed away from her friend and offered a small smile, wiping away the tears threatening to fall when Daryl placed a hand on her shoulder, leading her over to sit in the back seat of a car.

The drive to the new community was long and Y/N spent most of that time drawing random shapes on Daryl’s hands while speaking softly to Carl who was sitting behind them.

When they pulled up in a parking lot and led to the Kingdom’s gates, Y/N felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. Daryl felt it too and kept close to Y/N who was looking paler by the second.

Neither of them said anything, but when they met Ezekial, they thought he was an insane man. Still, Y/N respected his way of leading, especially when she learned he was able to keep Negan’s men outside of his walls. Perhaps it wasn’t much, but to Y/N, it was everything.

Daryl, on the other hand, wanted to leave immediately. He didn’t trust these people to be as strong as Jesus was making them out to be. Sure, they had survived this long, but that didn’t mean anything. They had walls to hide behind, that was nothing compared to being out on the road for weeks at a time.

It wasn’t long after their meeting with the king that they group decided to head back home, hoping to get back before the saviors decided to check Alexandria for Daryl. Y/N stood on the porch of the building her group had just come out of and watched in silence as Rick told Daryl to stay behind, the rest of the group walking out through the front gates.

Morgan, who she didn’t expect to see here of all places, was standing next to her, arms resting on his stick.

Daryl marched back in the gates when Rick began to catch up with the group. Y/N’s brows raised when she saw his enraged expression. She bit her lip before following him to a building the community used as apartments.

She found Daryl pacing an empty room, hands fisted. He was beyond angry, and upset. They had all left him. Sure, there was a reason behind it, but Y/N and Daryl were great assets to the group, and both of them could stay out of sight when Negan came to take things from Alexandria. They sure as hell were no use trying to convince a pretend king to join a war.

Y/N thought otherwise. In fact, while she watched Daryl from the doorway she was leaning against, she was making a plan on how to make Ezekial help them. She knew why Rick was making Daryl and her stay as far away from Negan as possible, knew if Daryl had even a slim chance -even if it meant he died as well- he would kill Negan and ruin everything. Y/N had never seen him so hidden in rage, but no one could stop him if he lost control over his emotions. Whether he could see it or not, this was for the best. At least for now.

Daryl stopped pacing. His shoulders were shaking as he faced the room’s window that looked down at the Kingdom. He had thought the same things as Y/N and it only hurt him more. He was no longer trusted, it felt like.

Daryl sniffed, looking down at his hands. He couldn’t see anything but the blood of Glenn. It was his fault what happened, his fault Y/N wasn’t safe in Alexandria instead of hiding from Negan. If he had just stayed kneeling…

His mind was clouded and he didn’t feel when Y/N wrapped her arms around him.

His hands moved to wipe at the tears that fell onto his cheeks. He couldn’t understand what was going on, but there was an anger in him so dangerous he feared he would punch one of the walls near him. But Y/N’s arms stopped that from happening and so he dropped his fisted hands and let her soothe him.

Night had fallen hours later. Y/N and Daryl were now sitting on the floor, looking at the outside world behind the window. Daryl’s head was resting on Y/N’s shoulder, her head on top of his. Their hands were interlocked, Daryl’s thumb rubbing circles on Y/N’s rough skin.

It was so peaceful here. It felt like alexandria before things went to shit.

Daryl smiled softly at the thought, wondering what it would’ve been like for those people if his family had never showed up. Y/N had spent a lot of her time with Deanna, convincing her to let Y/N lead.

Y/N was smart like that. She knew if it ever came down to it, her smarts were better than her muscles. However, Deanna played the same game as Y/N and didn’t make it easy for her. Half the time Y/N would end up overly upset that Deanna hadn’t just accecpted Y/N’s offer and the other half liked the challenge.

“I’m pregnant.” Y/N whispered out of the blue, silencing Daryl’s thoughts.

Daryl froze, unsure if he had heard what she said or if his mind was playing tricks on him. He removed his body from Y/N’s and stared at her. His usual indifferent demeanor was gone and replaced with shock; eyes wide, mouth open. Y/N would laugh if it weren’t for the circumstances.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, I know that but-”

“How far along are ya?” He interrupted her. Daryl’s mind had quit working as soon as Y/N said those two words. How would they feed the baby? How would he keep Y/N and their child safe? What if he didn’t make it?

Y/N looked down, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know… I haven’t checked or anything, or… I- I don’t know.”

Daryl stared at her for the longest time too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He would need to make sure she was eating a lot and sleeping well now that he knew. And with the threat of Negan and walkers-

Y/N snorting bought him out of his thoughts. Daryl looked like he had seen Santa Claus for the first time.

“What the hell do we do?” He whispered. Y/N covered her face, cheeks red, when she realized just how much he cared. Why had she thought this was going to go bad in the first place?

Daryl frowned. “What?”

She shook her head, looking away from him. It was quiet for a long time before Y/N spoke. “I love you.”

She had known for a long time, had tried to tell herself not to get attached because Daryl wasn’t that kind of guy… But then she got pregnant, Daryl got taken by Negan…

“God, I love you and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but you’re perfect, Daryl Dixon-”

She was cut off by Daryl’s lips on hers. She gasped as she was forced to lean back, one hand moving to catch them before they both fell to the floor.

“I love you,” Daryl whispered. “I love you I love you I love you-” with each time he said it the kiss seemed to deepen and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from getting overly emotional.

She was crazy for thinking he wouldn’t like the idea of children, crazy for thinking he would up and leave as soon as the words were out. Sure, they both wondered if they would be good parents, and they spent most of the night speaking about it before falling asleep in one another’s arms.

The next day Daryl was up early.

He sat on the edge of their cot holding Y/N’s hand as she slept soundly behind him, snoring. She was still so small, and even though she wasn’t that far along, Daryl was about ready to go out and hunt a month’s worth of food just for her.

He was itching to leave and do just that but knew Y/N was planning on going to Kingdom’s doctor for a check up and Daryl would be with her every step of the way no matter who tried to stop him.

It was late afternoon when she woke up, alone in a room while the sun shined in through the window. Daryl’s things were gone and a plate of food was sat on a wooden chair for her.

She ate it all, even if there were enough portions for three, before going outside.

Y/N was walking around the Kingdom when she found Daryl walking the wall’s perimeter. She paused and watched as his eyes scanned everything around him, shoulders tense. She made a quick guess and assumed he was making sure the walls would hold while Y/N and him were staying there.

When Daryl spotted her, he smiled softly. In a few long strides he was in front of her, greeting her with a soft, quick kiss.

“What happened to staying by my side no matter what, huh?” Y/N joked.

He scoffed, pushing her shoulder gently as he led her toward the infirmary. “Yer snores pushed me out the room.”

Y/N scowled. “That’s a bit harsh.”

Daryl shrugged before walking into the infirmary. They were met with a lot of stares and Y/N could see just how tense Daryl was right now.

It wasn’t long before the Kingdom’s doctor was taking them to a private room where an ultrasound and a bed sat.

“Would you mind leaving the room?” The doctor asked Dary, brows raised. Y/N wasn’t sure if he was rude or if she was feeling extra hormornal today.

Daryl ignored him.

Y/N smiled softly when the doctor directed his attention to her. “He was never socialized properly.” Y/N said.

Daryl stepped closer as the doctor got his equipment ready, his hand intertwined with Y/N’s. No words were spoken between the two as the screen showed their child, the tiny dot just barely noticeable. Y/N wiped at her eyes, but she was unable to keep her tears at bay.

The two of them had no idea if they would be good parents or not, but both of them would go to the ends of the earth to keep their baby safe.

Month’s later, when Negan was defeated and locked away, Y/N gave birth to their baby. Turns out, Mini Dixon was a girl and all the boy names they had planned out after months of being told they would have a boy were useless. After a few weeks Daryl and Y/N decided on Harlow Dixon.

When Rick died, Harlow was outside the walls more, accompanying her parents as they searched for Rick’s body. She was still a baby, though, and while Y/N wished they didn’t have to, sometimes the Dixon family would end up at Hilltop for a few days at a time -or weeks depending on the weather.

Daryl was good at staying with them, occasionally leaving to hunt, and soon enough he had found an abandoned cabin they could stay in permanently. Not long after, while Y/N and Harlow were planting some seeds for a garden, a dog showed up.

Dog became a beloved member of Y/N and Daryl’s family and even if Daryl didn’t say it, he loved the damn animal more than Harlow did.

Now, after years of looking and giving up on finding Rick, Y/N was coming back from a trip to Hilltop, a bright smile on her face as she opened the cabin’s door and found Daryl and Harlow in the middle of playing dress up.

Daryl held a small tea cup, his normal gruff features replaced with a bright smile as Harlow directed him on how to be prim and proper. Those were two words Y/N thought she would never describe Daryl as.

She smiled softly.

Even if they didn’t know at that moment that in a couple days Carol and Henry would find Daryl coming back from a hunting trip and escort Daryl back to the cabin. From there they would all venture to Hilltop and learn about a new threat.

Harlow was still too little and Y/N spent most of her time keeping an eye on her child, but at one point she had turned around and Harlow was gone. Enid was gone as well, having been with Y/N only an hour before, and so many others. Most would end up with their heads on a pike… and the other would get out because Y/N and Daryl would burn the world for her.

And they did.

Prompt: I'll do anything for you even if you won't love me back

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hologramcowboy · 26 days

Note

Recently, there was a video of the main J2 panel in Indianapolis (https://youtu.be/VWS4URkl-sg?si=nf8C7scfim0Jyx8o - 25:50-31:42) and someone asked J2 a question about sending highlight reels for acting roles, which they laughed at and said they don't really do that anymore. Both commented that their time in the industry and lasting connections they've made have allowed them to share relevant clips related to a specified role they want, get straight to meetings to discuss if they're a good fit for the script and role, etc. Jared mentions he's sent clips of when he was younger for more heroic roles. Jensen specifically details stuff like having experience with the showrunner and lead for Tracker, going on a Zoom meeting for when he was gonna be on Rust, and how his role for The Boys was the most intensive one to try out for. I wanted to know your thoughts on what both of them were saying, but also would like to know if the lasting connections made on the set of Supernatural (or other sets) are maybe the only advantage Jensen has when it comes to obtaining his current roles without more effort.

Also, this is related but unrelated, Jensen mentions ten minutes before that he's busy and excited with his new roles, trying to be a dad, and also mentioned that Chaos Productions has something in the works, but I felt like him talking about his own work had more enthusiasm than him talking about his family or his company.

It used to be that all actors required a reel to submit (by agent) or self submit. These days due to digital, there’s been a shift towards clips that are on brand. For example, if you are a leading lady you need to identify your main types( roles you’re most likely to get cast for) and record shot clips of such roles. You might do one where you are in procedural show, a comic one, one where you are the teacher or sister( because those are a part of your types) and then once a role pops us where the breakdown of the character matches that essence (e.g Fiesty Medic) then your agent will send the relevant clip directly to casting to show them you can indeed do fiesty and medical. This goes for any type of character. Basically casting requires hard proof you can do *that* specific character well and cares less about your reel overall. Of course, this doesn’t mean reels are obsolete, they are still a great marketing tool for actors, it’s just that once you reach a certain tier or when you have little experience, clips will serve you much more. They can get you in the room and on your way towards being booked. So, if you are an actor, I highly recommend identifying your main castable types and then creating on brand clips of scenes that match those types. Your agent will thank you for it and you could even post those online and get even more visibility.

As for headshots, sorry to break it to Jensen and Jared but they are still the actor’s calling card, no matter what tier you are at. They aren’t A listers so they won’t be shortlisted for a lot of roles, they need good headshots. It does help.

As for Jensen, it all depends on his team, he is pretty clueless about his own industry and so far has only been able to land roles thanks to networking. I hope his team pitches him to the right people outside of his SPN circle. Countdown might give him more visibility, if it goes well, and so might the SB spin off.

he’s always going to be more excited about work because that’s where his core value lies. We are each different and our core vary, one of Jensen’s core values is definitely having work as an actor.

As for what they both said, my fear is they are relying too much on their current status instead of being proactive, which is what any actor should be at any tier, especially if they plan on becoming A List. Marketing materials for actors are highly important, don’t just rely on your agent finding and sending a YouTube clip. You can do so much more.

Thank you for this beautiful question. 🧡

#jensen critical #Jared critical #actor critical

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watchingspnagain · 6 months

Text

Rewatching Good God, Y'All

Welcome to “But Does One Simply Drive an Impala into Mordor?: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e2: Good God, Y’All.

The boys are worried about Bobby, who has lost the use of his legs and won’t speak. Dean shows off an x-ray of their very pretty carved ribs just before Cas calls Sam to find out where they are because, oh right, the pretty ribs mean they’re hidden from *all* angels, even pocket angel. Cas reveals that he’s cut off from Heaven and thus can’t heal Bobby (who has something to say about that—yay! He’s talking!) because then they couldn’t save healing him for some more dramatic time later on. Cas wants Dean’s samulet because it supposedly glows hot in the presence of orcs God. Dean doesn’t want to give it up, but Cas Dom-Voices him into it. Rufus calls Bobby for help in a town overrun by demons. The boys go to check it out, running into Ellen and Jo, who are hunting together now. Seems like everyone in this town thinks everyone else is a demon. Turns out no one is. The first of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, War, has arrived, and he’s making different groups of townsfolk think the other groups are possessed. Sam and Dean each figure this out independently because they are both smarties. They cut War’s ring from his finger, vanquishing him and gaining a piece of jewelry that, huh, seems like maybe it might be important later. At the end of the episode, Dean confesses that he's not sure he can trust Sam anymore, and they decide to go their separate ways. Uh-huh.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

Mace:

oh, you’re a sword, DeanDean, don’t fight it

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Lor:

oh good. Jo.

Mace:

UGH

Mace:

BACK RUB

Mace:

I bet Dean gives extremely good back rubs

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

they're xrays, Sam. says that right there

Mace:

god, even their flipping ribs are pretty now

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA OMG

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

OMG LOOKIT HIM STRIDING

Mace:

omg is this the scene where Misha falls to the floor to disappear?

Mace:

YES

Lor:

I think it is!

Lor:

"Say again."

Mace:

remind me what’s wrong with Bobby?

Mace:

“I heard that” HAHAHA

Lor:

he's paralyzed from the waist down but I kinda forget why already? (Ed: We remembered eventually.)

Mace:

cripes, Cas is extra gorgeous here

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

oh Cas, oh honey, you're so earnest, baby

Mace:

HE’S NOT ON ANY FLATBREAD

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

"no he's not on any flatbread"

Lor:

HAHAHA

Lor:

CHUCKLES

Mace:

“literally at the end of days” oh Dean, you’ve got, like 10 years left at least

Mace:

YES

Lor:

I love that Dean is SO anti-God all through but later when he actually meets him and confirms that he does not in fact care, it wrecks him so much

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

YEP

Mace:

get a little closer there, Cas

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

he's SO STERN i cannot

Mace:

YES

Lor:

OMG that LOOK when he turns to Dean

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“NO”… “alright I guess”

Mace:

that didn’t take long

Lor:

"may I borrow it?" "NO" *VOICE* "Dean, give it to me" *dean does*

DOM VOICE

Mace:

that’s not exactly how you play hard to get Dean

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

“now I feel naked” “I’ll be in touch” NICE

Lor:

"now I feel naked" haaaahahahahahah

Lor:

"tell him to send legs" HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

I refuse to believe that they did not know what they were doing with Dean and Cas right from the start

Mace:

meh, I think the writers are mostly idiots, to be honest, and stumbled onto the good stuff. the rest is all on Jensen, Jared, and Cas as amazing actors

Lor:

lolololol I love the establishing shot: snowy mountains, must be Colorado, right?

Lor:

I MEANT Jensen and Cas

Lor:

omg DUDE we BOTH called Misha Cas haaaaahahahahaha

Mace:

oh AHA! well yes then

Mace:

OMG HAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

omg the tone of the music with the destruction

Mace:

quality soundtrack choice

Lor:

omg I LOVE when music goes from undiegetic to diegetic

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“hello boys” NOT YOUR LINE, ELLEN

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

ALSO HOW ABOUT A HUG

Lor:

okay there it is. jeez

Mace:

HAHAHHA

Lor:

hahahaha the slap

Mace:

I don’t like her, but I do like that she calls Dean “kid"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

and the "yes, ma'am"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

agreed. I always love it when someone treats him like they love him, especially WHILE they are tearing him a new one, but Ellen as a character? meh

Mace:

exactly

Mace:

just because she’s a pregnant woman, Dean, doesn’t mean she can’t handle herself. Jesus.

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

although I do suspect that THAT pregnant woman might not be able to

Mace:

well sure but I’m trying to make a point here, Lor

Lor:

I DO apologize. *drags over a box for you*

Lor:

that canned soup probably has enough salt in it to be useful

Mace:

*checks to see if box has cookies in it before realizing it’s full of soap*

Mace:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

*hands you another, smaller, box, this one WITH cookies*

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

*munches*

Mace:

Sammy, no. Don’t lick that.

Lor:

look, in GENERAL, Sammy, don't like knives

Lor:

*lick. dammit

Lor:

like them all you want

Mace:

SNORK

Mace:

WHY is it that every pregnant character on the screen is constantly holding her belly. NO ONE ACTUALLY DOES THAT

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

ooooof, Dean

Lor:

I feel like if I had ever been pregnant, I would have used the shelf as a good place to rest the snacks

Mace:

YEP

Mace:

been there

Lor:

I mean, the boobies work, surely the baby bump would too

Mace:

works pretty good until the kicking starts

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

now I'm picturing chips just like flying out of the bowl

Mace:

SNORK

Mace:

ope, fret boys

Mace:

not really any of your business, Ellen

Lor:

okay, so Sam is incredibly hot when he gets angry and shoves people and Dean is incredibly hot shoved up against a wall. it's fine. I'm fine

Mace:

HAHAHAHA RIGHT?!

Lor:

also SOME GIRL? Have you met them? They never like the same girls

Lor:

and girls are always about one of them or the other

Mace:

right?! she’s a dummy

Lor:

WATCH THE SHOW ELLEN

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

YAY RUFUS

Mace:

YES

Lor:

oh Dean

Mace:

right?

Lor:

"random's good"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"this isn't x-files, pal"

Mace:

Ellen really should be a great character. strong woman and all, but she just… sucks. and I can’t really figure out what it is about her that doesn’t work

Mace:

Lor:

right? she should be great but she's just kind of annoying

Mace:

is it the actor? the writing? maybe a little of both

Lor:

lol the poor pastor

Lor:

yeah, probably a bit of both

Mace:

HAHAHA YEP

Mace:

War is excellent, on the other hand

Lor:

YES

Mace:

War’s a daddy and I’m okay with that

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

“that’s adorable” HA

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

Oh Sammy, don’t listen to him

Mace:

look at those puppy eyes

Lor:

RIGHT?!

Mace:

army dude is also a cutie

Lor:

he really is

Mace:

“genius” I love it

Lor:

YES

Mace:

Rufus is master-level snark

Lor:

"stop firing usually means stop firing" I LOVE HIM

Lor:

YES

Lor:

Frodo of the niiiiiine fingers

Mace:

War calling them kiddos to parallel Ellen

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

omg Dean’s LotR reference!

Mace:

You two

Lor:

"so pit stop at mount doom" DEEEAN

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

Oh Sammy, I love you just the way you are

Lor:

well of course

Lor:

omg Dean's squinty face before he agrees

Mace:

UGH THESE TWO

Lor:

and his freeeeckles

Mace:

you KNOW you don’t want to be apart, boys. just STOP

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

maybe someone should knock their heads together

Lor:

OMG offering Sam Baby

Mace:

THEY TOTALLY SHOULD

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"you too, Sammy" OMG BOYS STOOOOOP

Mace:

FRUSTRATION NOISES

Lor:

LOL YES

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 5x02 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoiler #spn 5x02 #watchingspnagain fraught #watchingspnagain handwaving #watchingspnagain music #watchingspnagain treatment of female characters

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youchangedmedestiel · 1 year

Text

I wish I had watched Supernatural live and also I'm glad I didn't

Let me explain. I have the impression that I missed the best hours of SPN when everybody was totally into it, I feel like being late to the party.

And at the same time, it seemed like a weird party, with not just great experiences, as a Destiel shipper myself in the year of 2023 (and this since less than a year), I think I would have felt bad about being one at the time, because even going through a big amount of convention videos, reading comments, searching for analysis about the show and some against Destiel, I doubted myself and the ship sometimes. (I don't anymore because I just don't care, even if I was the only one shipping them, which isn't the case AT ALL, I would do it anyway with all my heart without thinking what others think, because for me it's the greatest love story ever told and I cried so much for that, so if I stop believing in it, it would be like denying the emotions I felt and still feel about them).

Anyway I don't care. And I really wished I was there to see how November 5th was, especially after seeing how Destiel trended and how everyone went crazy in the last few days about the not-so-rogue translator. But also I'm glad I wasn't there during November 5th because I would have had bigger hopes about the two last episodes and I would have been disappointed. Because when I watched it I just had the time to eat between 15x18 and 15x19 and then watched the end the same evening. It allowed me to appreciate the end at the time, I don’t anymore, since I got the time to think about it (but I will write about that in another post later).

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #november 5th 2020 #rogue translator #but not so rogue #destiel trending #i felt alone in my obsession #but not in the last few days #thank you SPN fandom #that's also why i needed to create a tumblr account #because even if only one human can relate then i'm not alone #plus it's fun #my personal experience with destiel #my personal experience with spn

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ltleflrt · 2 years

Text

I’m disappointed they didn’t even mention Cas.

Now here’s the thing. I didn’t think spnwin was Going Destiel. I haven’t thought so at all from the very beginning. I’m not surprised there’s no Cas, I’m not surprised there’s no mention of Cas, and I 110% agree with the positive fandom takes floating around that it wouldn’t have given us a fleshed out reunion scene, which is what we Hellers really want. Tho, I wouldn’t have minded seeing them together, and then getting the reunion in another season or spinoff. There’s room for things to happen out of order. We’ve got time and universe travel, so linear storytelling is kinda boring when you’re playing with those tools.

But the thing is, I didn’t want The Winchesters. I hated John, I didn’t care about Mary, and I didn’t see how this prequel could heal the still open wound that 15x20 left me with. But I gave it a chance, and I really love it! I have learned to like John and care about Mary, or at least this version of them, and there’s so many more characters outside of them that I have fallen in love with. I even really like how season 1 wrapped up! It was well done, and not just because of Dean’s presence. This whole season has been a romp, and the finale was no different. And I really really really want more seasons! Just for more stories about the Winchester Gang.

But it didn’t do anything to make me feel better about 15x20. In fact it made me feel even more upset about it. And unlike many lucky people in fandom, I can’t pretend the finale didn’t happen. Which means that I can’t rewatch SPN anymore. For the better part of a decade, I watched the show on repeat. It was the background noise of my life. I cross stitched with it playing in the background, I cooked and cleaned with it playing in the background, I wrote fanfiction with it playing in the background. I can’t do that anymore. I tried to rewatch it in 2021, and I just kept getting angry. I was losing sleep over it because I was so angry all the time. And the only way I could stop being angry was to never watch it again.

I miss it so fucking much.

But even watching one episode a few months back caused me 4 days of depression and lost sleep, even though it was one of my favorites. I cannot watch SPN again while 15x20 affects me like this.

And I was hoping The Winchesters would give me something to help. It didn’t. And I don’t resent that, because I understand that the season was short, Misha was busy, Jensen’s really hoping to do more someday. But the thing is...he may not get to. There may not be a S2. There may not be a reboot mini series. This may be all we get. And so I’m sad, because if there’s no more, then I may never be able to rewatch SPN again.

I’m depressed as fuck about it today, and I can feel the underlying rage coming back, and I already popped awake at 3am and lost sleep over how easy it could have been to include Cas in 15x20 or to mention him in 01x13.

I’m going to bury myself in Dragon Age for a while.

See y’all next week for GK.

#ltleramblings #spn finale critical #spnwin #spnwin spoilers

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lol-jackles · 11 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/lol-jackles/731390752226148352/li-1-i-revisited-a-former-favorite-tag-of-mine

How do you think Jensen might be feeling in relation to Jared (or about himself) now that TW failed? If it was a way fir him to be "good enough" for Jared …

Also, I know you’ve been asked this before, so I won’t ask you to weigh in on whether J2 are still real friends. I think they still consider each other friends, but probably more in an extended family way, where you care and have shared history but don’t really talk overly often. Of course, Jared often mentions on interviews or at cons that he and Jensen were just texting "the other day," but for me that could mean anything from yesterday to three weeks ago, so I don’t see it as proof they talk all the time.

Anyway, my other questions was based off the fact that Jared and Jensen are getting increasingly more sentimental, or at least nostalgic, telling stories about back in the early days of SPN at cons during panels and their M&G. Do you think they play-up on their old memories because they don’t have many good new shared experiences to talk about, or do you think now that they haven’t worked together for a few years, they are truly starting to miss it and each other as cast mates? Or a secret third option where they are just trying to stir up fan nostalgia (even though J2 fans live that shit 24 anyway), and telling stories is easier than dodging strike-breaking questions?

Jensen probably self-soothed that The Winchester failure is mainly due to a combination of the SPN spinoff curse and bad timing due to Zaslav's reign of terror, burst of the streaming bubble, and the WGA-SAG strike. As for his post TW relations with Jared, my pet theory of psychology is there are two motivators of human behavior - love and fear. Codependency is where love and fear get messed up between it, sometimes fear gets disguised as love in that they fear that unless they control others, they will not do what they need them to do in order to feel loved. And it is attracted to those who “need saving” through control of their behavior. So kids, study your fears, lean to control or dismiss them as necessary. Set the people in your life free from you control.

To answer your other question... First, time and distance sanitize memories and paper over issues in their friendship. The thing about friendship is a lot of red flags are tolerated that is not tolerated in marriages. My friends can be late, or bad with money, or have significant differences of opinion on a variety of issues, because if it gets too bad, I can just not hang out with them anymore. But with life partners you have to trust and rely on them 100%, because there’s so much more at stake - buy property together, comingle finances, raise a child or bunch of cats or both, so you can't ignore the red flags.

Second, shared experiences are the basis for many deep and casual relationships rather than actual compatibility. It's why we still go to high school reunions because nobody else in the world knows what you’ve experienced other than your classmates, even if you hated them back in the day. Or thought you hated them. Again, time and distance sanitize many things and you and the kid you never talked to in high school are reminiscing and laughing together over nostalgia. So it's not surprising that Jared and Jensen have some nostalgia for the SPN days because it was 15 years of high school. So the answer to your question is option #2.

Third, in general, men don’t have many male genuine friends. I hated the movie I love you, man because it was too familiar - Paul Rudd’s character doesn’t have male friends to be his best man for his upcoming wedding so he goes out looking for one. So even though Jared and Jensen’s friendship is more on the codependency level, it’s still more than what most actors could have in the industry. Aso, it's easier for Jared to be the bigger person because he’s currently in much better position: a lead actor who is able to film in the city of his choice. Very, very few lead actors can demand to work in their referable city of choice and even then, the best they can ask for is L.A or N.Y.C. David Duchovny got X-Files production moved from Vancouver to L.A and he still left the show.

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regardingjenmish · 1 year

Note

things I’ve learnt from meeting people who have watched supernatural in the wild

People ship destiel or wish that it happened

some people are not dean/Sam/Cas girls they just watch the show.

Some people are not dean/Sam/Cas girls but ship destiel

Most people think that jackles is handsome (I mean you’d have to be blind not to)

majority of people love dean over Sam

most people I’ve met who are Sam girls or love Sam also love dean so they’re a Dean and Sam girl

some people who love Sam are still partial to dean

most people that I met thought the ending was crap (memorable comment: you could watch s1e1 and the finale and you would not miss anything) thought that it went too long

some people think Misha is in the closet but some people think he’s straight and cockles isn’t a thing

some people stay away from RPF

some people think that Jensen dislikes destiel 🙄 (this one annoys me the most - I’m super super protective of jackles, like I’ll gatekeep him if you misinterpret him or just think he’s a pretty face and nothing more)

some people love jackles and only jackles,

some people love jackles, think Misha is cool and don’t care for Jared (this one is my favourite)

some people don’t watch the show but understand why destiel is a thing

some people think dean is straight 🤮🤮🤮🤮

some people liked the ending and think dean is straight 🤮( I am ashamed to say my cousin is that person with these two points)

Most people I’ve met don’t watch the show anymore but watched it in high school and stopped around s8-10 (I personally stopped in s10 but rewatched after the finale) but they love jackles or are indifferent

people who were on tumblr

previously remember the mishapocalypse all too well

some people don’t like the spn tumblr fandom (controversial take I know)

this is what I have collected over the past few years 💖tell me what you think ?

I just wanted to add some people didn't mind the finale but could have been better and they think that blurry wife is Eileen or like to imagine r so

• Some people predicted that both of the winchesters would die

First of all, i owe you a big apology for such a long ass wait.

And secondly, i feel like I just played a game of bingo or something fjksa. Because I’ve encountered almost every single one of these in the wild. I think the most common one is just GA where they watch the show, they don’t really have opinions on much and they didn’t really feel any strong feelings about the finale, which….wish I could relate.

I fear that when it comes to SPN, it’s either: you’re just watching the show without a single thought behind your eyes or you’re watching the show with so many thoughts that even a therapist can’t help you anymore.

#anonymous #my aunt is one of the GA #loves jackles and misha..loves dean and cas… but my god shes just vibin

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self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2 · 7 months

Text

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 13x02 The Rising Son

“This version of supernatural is so weird. It’s so different than how we started” “Do we even have monsters of the week anymore?” “that’s pretty extreme. You didn’t even need to break their necks, but he did anyway” “so he’s on level with Dagon with the yellow eyes?” laughter

“Jack can totally hear you btw” “To be fair, there’d be a lot of road noise in the car” “They have Mary miked differently” “angel incoming? What are we dealing with here?” “I would have run off too” “this whole white tie thing - I’m not so sure about” “Idk if I’ve ever seen anyone wear a white tie with a white shirt before” “to be fair, they’d look more like rats” “intentionally dropping his voice?” “don’t throw him the Bible, because he’ll fkn read it and he’ll have a lot of questions for you tomorrow” “good enough” laughter

“God this would have been so much fun to watch on air”

You didn’t like the Jack storyline

“It’s such a departure than what we’re used to. I embrace it now” “He’s fkn gone now. Nope never mind” “What a fkn jackass” 🎶should have kept driving 🎶

“What the fuck” “His whole thing doesn’t make sense. Do you feel any different without an appendix?” No I don’t notice anything different

“Cas said the same thing. I probably didn’t see that the first time.”

“Oh shit” “still going to fkn do it?” “probably didn’t care about this season last time because Cas died” “how many stages of grief and depression are we going to go through in one episode?” “This season is pretty rough. Cas exploded. How do you recover from that?” “fkn great” “oh hey bitch” “what a cock. Fkn hate this guy. They did a good job turning Lucifer into a villain, ya know?” “I know they were leading up to it, but I totally missed that.” “that guy is way stronger but his blood pressure is 10x stronger so idk” “nice throw” laughter “that’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth after that” “oh yeah. It’s the other guy. I took too long to figure that out” laughter

“We had leviathans. Now we have other world demons and shit. How bad can it be?” “they had to slow-mo the impact. Why would you do that?” “hey bitch” “really cool effect” “Is Asmodeus a one-episode character? Is Jack going to blow him to smithereens? Let’s see it” laughter “the hell is that supposed to mean?” “crunchy. I wonder how they got that sound effect” “end of the line for what?” laughter “fkn drama. Jesus h christ” “maybe don’t threaten the kid but you do you”

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural rewatch #supernatural #supernatural s13

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silver-stake-through-the-heart · 4 months

Text

It's my belief that the SPN verse is better off without Randy and the others, but the thing is Dean wasn't in control anymore.

Sam: Tell me you had to do this. Dean: I didn't … I didn't mean to.

Not being in control and hurting/killing people is ultimately his nightmare. It's his version of Hell.

And Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The– the things that I did to them. (...) How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.

–Dean, spn 4x10

That's how Tessa convinces him to follow her in 2x01:

Dean: I'm not going with you, I don't care what you do. Tessa: Well, like you said. There's always a choice. I can't make you come with me. But you're not getting back in your body. And that's just facts. So yes, you can stay. You'll stay here for years. Disembodied, scared, and over the decades it'll probably drive you mad. Maybe you'll even get violent. Dean: What are you saying? Tessa: Dean. How do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go and they can't move on. And you're about to become one. The same thing you hunt.

It's also his talk with Cas in 10x09:

Dean: Cas, I need you to promise me something. Cas: Of course. Dean: If I do go dark side, you got to take me out. Cas: What do you mean? Dean: Knife me. Smite me. Throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.

The MOC/Demon arcs are playing on his belief he's a monster and dangerous to everyone around him. It reduces him to being a killer.

Dean: You're covered in blood until you're covered in your own blood. Half the time, you're about to die. Like right now. I told myself I wanted out… that I wanted a family. Veritas: But you were lying. Dean: No. But what I'm good at… is slicing throats. I ain't a father. I'm a killer. And there's no changing that. I know that now.

–spn 6x06

Cain: I can give you the mark, Dean, if it's what you truly want. Dean: What are you talking about? Cain: The mark can be transferred to someone who's worthy. Dean: You mean a killer like you? Cain: Yes.

–spn 9x11

Dean: I took down a monster. Because that's what I do. And I'll continue to do that until… Castiel: Until you become the monster. Dean: You can leave now, Cas.

–spn 10x22

Dean, in his right mind, keeps the monster (hurting people) locked.

Dean: Well, tell Uriel, or whoever…you do not want me doing this, trust me. Castiel: Want it, no. But I have been told we need it. Dean: You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out.

–spn 4x16

Michael: You fellas didn't think this out, did you? Even if you could force me out, what do you think I'd leave behind, hm? You'd be nothing but blood and bone. Dean: Then we don't kick him out. We keep him in. Michael: *screaming and banging on the door* Dean: It'll hold. My mind, my rules. I got him. I'm the Cage.

–spn 14x10

Dean: It's a Ma'lak box. Secured and warded. Once inside… nothing gets out, not even an archangel. Especially an archangel. (...) Sam: That's your plan? You want to be buried alive? Dean: Buried's not safe enough. Plan is, pay a little hush money, charter a boat to take me out to the Pacific. Splash. Sam: You and Michael, trapped together – for eternity? Dean: Yeah. Sam: You do realise how insane this is, right? Dean: It's the only sane play I've got. Michael gets out, that's it for this world. And he will get out. Sam: Well, how do you know that for sure? Dean: Because I do. Because I can feel him in my head. That door is giving. I can feel it giving.

–spn 14x11

That's why both Death and Billie easily convince him to follow their plan. There's nothing more important for him than protecting people—especially not his own life/comfort.

Death: So I could remove the Mark, but only if you will share it with another… to ensure that the lock remains unbroken and the Darkness remains banned. Dean: I'm not doing that… not to anyone. Death: What if I told you I could relocate you somewhere far away, not even on this earth, where you would still be alive, but no longer a danger to yourself or to others?

–spn 10x23

Billie: Well, it's the funniest thing, but they've all been rewritten. They all end the same way now – with the archangel Michael escaping your mind and using you as his vessel to burn down this world. Dean: All of them? Billie: All of them. Except one.

–spn 14x10

#dean studies #dean's hell trauma #moc!dean #demon!dean #the most caring man on earth #dean and saving people #my sad moc/demon!dean post #my post

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