#i don't know how to put things under the cut on mobile

[echoversit]

Questions 1

I'll probably turn this into a mini-series of questions I wish I could ask Sun and Moon and their replies. This was inspired by @bamsara 's immaculate fic Solar Lunacy (which I have been posting a lot about whoops). Word count is about 1.8k so enjoy!

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     “I’ve got a question.” You say, sagging into the desk chair the same way you do after every long shift. You’re not even halfway through yet. Sun watches you curiously from the other side of the desk, moving to sit on it, hands moving to support him as he leans back. 

     “Shoot!” he sends you a grin and you mostly send one back. His gaze seems to intensify slightly, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“How do you guys solve problems?” you ask. Sun’s eyebrows raise slightly as he starts to think, a hand coming up to his chin.

“Permanently.” He seems to interrupt his own thinking, looking surprised and then his face goes suddenly blank, before he comes back and chuckles nervously. “Ahaha, what a thing to say! I’m not sure that was quite what I meant to-”

“You know, your face goes blank when you’re talking to Moon.” you interrupt him, eyebrows raised incredulously but a smile on your face. He blinks at you, genuinely surprised. 

“Really?” You nod.

“Oh yeah…I can also tell when Moon’s talking even when it's your turn. It’s kind of obvious. But you don’t talk a lot when it’s his turn. Is it harder to talk when it’s you or do you not have alot to say..?” You take a moment to look at his reaction. His eyebrows are raised in consternation, and there’s a wide smile on his face despite the intensity of his gaze.

“Well, sunshine, I didn’t realize you knew us so well!” he said, a hand coming to frame his face charmingly, sending you a wink. “But we got off topic, how do we solve problems? I usually try to figure out exactly what the source of the problem is and work top down.”

Your eyebrows narrow in thought. “...um, could I have an example?” He nodded quickly.

“Sure! Just the other day, a whole group of children had an upset. If I tried calming down each child individually, it could take all day and the problem might not be solved. I found the one that was the most upset- one of the younger ones- and discovered that he was extra hungry since he hadn’t had breakfast and it was already lunch! I gave him some food, he stopped crying, and with a little comforting, the rest of the children stopped too, since they were only crying in reaction to his tantrum.”

You scratch your cheek absentmindedly. “That makes sense. I like that approach.”

“Well thank you!” he leans a little closer to you. “What made you ask that question? Something happen in the outside world?” You cocked your head, a different question suddenly in mind.

“Sun..do you ever wish you could leave the daycare? Or even the pizzaplex?”

Sun’s face instantly went blank for a full ten seconds. When he came back, he fully shivered back into his frame, before his eyes jolted wide as his shaky grin. “What? What a silly question, that can’t have been what you were thinking of!” 

Your eyebrows furrow in concern. “No, I’m- are you ok? You just always say ‘outside world,’ and it made me curious-”

“Yes! We’re fine!! Now, no more pesky distractions, what happened to make you curious about problem solving?” His tone is a little less warm than you’re used to, but you try to shrug it off, studying his expression and latching onto the tiny, pinprick pupils that only appear when something has not gone to plan. You hold them for a long moment, watching as his guard tenses again, before your lips press together and you sigh, giving up. His tension lessens.

“I asked because there’s some stuff going on in my project group, and I’m not sure how to fix it.”

“Hmm, is that why I see a contact named “GP Idiot DNI” show up in your phone notifications?” he said casually, and you frown at him, glancing down at your phone, tossed onto the desk carelessly, now lighting up with text messages. You groan, partially forgetting the tension still in the air. 

“Yeah. Some of my groupmates have an issue with the leader, who…” your phone buzzes again, and you silence it decisively. “will not leave me alone. I’ve kind of become the center of the problem without even attempting to get into their argument.”

Sun made a sympathetic sound. “That does sound tough. Have you tried asking what happened?”

You roll your eyes. “I did, actually. I got a couple versions. The original argument was a year ago, they don’t even fully remember what happened. Making amends is out though, both parties made that clear.”

He hummed. “Well, have you tried switching groups? If you’ve become the center of a problem that’s not even recent, remove yourself. They can fight it out amongst themselves. Or just fail the project.”

You straighten. “I guess that’s a possibility. I’ll have to email my prof. I just feel bad..it’s my only on-campus class this semester, and I’ve been trying really hard since I know the professor.”

A large hand is placed on your shoulder.  Raising your head, Sun looks down at you kindly. “If you know them, they know how hard of a worker you are. I’m sure they’ll understand.” You smile back up, pleased with your solution. Thinking about it a little, you’re pretty sure if you explain it at the next class, the prof will let you switch. There’s still enough time. You put your hand over his in a show of thanks.

“Thanks, Sun. I guess I just needed a new perspective. I don’t really have a lot of people to ask, but I’m glad I talked to you about it.” You fiddle with your other hand a little as you say it. His smile shrinks but grows considerably more genuine.

“Well I’m flattered that you thought to come to me first.” he says softly, thumb smoothing slowly over your hand exactly twice before he stood up suddenly. “Now, we need to finish cleaning up! We’ve left this awful mess for this long?”

You chuckle quietly and heave yourself out of the comfortable security chair.

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You make eye contact with the red-eyed wonder to your right as you fiddle with a broken security bot.

“Hey Moon?”

His attention on you sharpens. His eyes are always on you anyways, but you tend to attribute it to his security programming. Facial recognition and all that.

“How come you can speak when Sun’s out but he doesn’t speak when you’re out?”

He blinks once, face going neutral for a moment before he shrugs. You grimace at him, and he tugs at his cap. After you glare at him for a few more seconds, he lifts into the air slightly on the wire system, body going slightly limp as he does so- his nervous tell. You try not to break your gaze in triumph.

“-gets more time.” You blink. 

“Hmm?”

“There’s more lights on than off. I get a little bit of his turn.”

You consider this. The pizzaplex is lights on around 7AM, but opens at 8. Then, the building closes at 10:30 at night, but depending on your shift the lights can stay on until midnight. That’s only 7-8 hours for Moon versus- you double check your math- 16 or 17 for Sun? No wonder they’re so neurotic- Sun barely gets any rest and Moon gets barely any time to stretch his legs. You say the first thing that comes to mind.

“That’s not fair.” Moon floats a foot or two above the ground, still. Listening. You continue. “Management or Parts and Services need to even that out. Or make lights turn out quicker or something. You only get a few hours to be fully active and Sun has to run for most of the day? You’ve got to be restless out of your mind and Sun’s got to be fucking exhausted. I bet that’s part of why he doesn’t say much when it’s you turn.” you finish, frustrated on the animatronic’s behalf. 

Moon stares at you, eyes white. He doesn’t even manage a “language.” You take this as a confirmation of your speculation.

You hum. “I bet if I email Management about that and make a case about not overworking one side of the daycare attendant over the other they’d do something about it.” you think for a moment. “I might say something about it to Freddy too? I think he mentioned that he can make complaints to management one time.” You walk over to Moon and pat him on the arm since you can’t reach his shoulder. “Would that help a bit?” You don’t want to overstep. Moon looks at you, blinking one eye into a red glow. He smiles at you, something closer to real from Moon than you’d seen yet.

“Problem-solver. New nickname?” You laugh at the reference to your earlier conversation. “No, I’ll keep the one have, thanks.” you flash your gifted nametag and his smile sharpens in delight. You wink at him, and turn to screw the last few bolts into the security bot and watch it's eyes flash on. After setting it on it’s way, you turn back to Moon as he does what Sun did earlier and shivers slightly, eyes refocusing on you after a moment. You stand again and wipe off your knees, stretching and then checking your watch. It’s late. You look up meet Moon’s eyes head on, finding him quite a bit closer to you than a few seconds ago, watching you very closely from just a foot or two to your side, feet back on the ground. You startle slightly at the looming animatronic, but shrug it off, clearing your throat. 

“I should probably head out, I have class tomorrow..” you say, almost regretful to go, but you can’t think of any other reason to stay. Moon silently escorts you to the staff exit door onthe wire system. As you wave and open the door, he snickers seemingly to nothing, then turns back to you.

“If you are not removed from your group project idiot..remove them.” You shake your head in amusement. 

“Nope, sorry. Not happening, thank though. Goodnight, Moon.”

He stares into space for a minute, face blank and eyes black. The red glow comes back after a moment. 

“Goodnight Brat.” then, a slight crackle. His eyes flicker white briefly. Then, a much brighter voice comes out then you were used to. “Goodnight, Sunshine! See you tomorrow!”

You straighten, then grin and wave again. Moon’s eyes shift fully to white. “Goodnight Sun! Both of you have a nice night!” a silent wave accompanies you out the door. 

As you clock out and exit the building, the night’s discussions leave you thinking. An email to management was definitely in order to solve that issue- Sun and Moon would probably be a lot calmer if their schedule was evened out. They might enjoy things more, and that might help whatever was wrong with Moon...? You tuck that thought away for now. That was one problem solved, but you wouldn’t be forgetting that system reboot when you asked if they ever wanted to leave. Getting in your car, you russle through your bag and toss the heavy “Fazbear Entertainment Extended Staff Rules, Guidelines, Legal Reminders, and Permissions” book onto your dashboard and prepared yourself for a late night of McDonald’s coffee. You had some reading to do about how far your animatronic handling responsibilities can stretch.

[toorurs]

to love is to learn

synopsis: aventurine is still unexposed to the many concepts of this world. but that doesn't mean he won't try to get to know them if it's for you.

pairing: aventurine x reader | wordcount: 1.0k | content & warnings: hurt/comfort, insecure aventurine, established relationship, my ass wrote this in an hour and its super late rn i just wanna upload this and my lazy ass did NOT proofread this + im on mobile so hell, kinda HELLA rushed ; ficlet

a/n: just the other day me and azul were talking about what body parts of aven would be sensitive and we got to his collarbone and azul said that he thinks that it'd be super evident so i pointed out that it might be cause he was used to starvation and barely ate even when he got to the ipc/had the chance to do so. SO I JUST HAD TO WRITE SMTH.

tags: @azullumi

aventurine shudders under your touch. your nimble fingers trace across his collarbone, featherlight movements, touch so delicate, it makes him tremble.

the pads of your digits lightly dance across his clavicle, one finger turns into two. your index swiftly slides over the pale skin that separates the bone that lies underneath. while your thumb starts inching closer the neckline of his satin pajama, diving beneath. at that he can't help but flinch.

“oh god.” he laughs out. “someone's being touchy today.” his voice is filled with joy. hearing, seeing, knowing that aventurine has fun around you, makes you crave for more. his laugh is an intoxicating drug. something that you'll always long for, absorbing it until every part of your body is stained with the tantalising essence and puts you to your demise.

you don't stop your actions, instead continuing to glide your fingers along his delicate body. “sorry, for i couldn't help it!” a giggle escapes your mouth.

“i just thought about how pretty it is.” you let out a small hum.

“my collarbone? pretty, how come?” he's confused, what is the beauty you see within his body?

his body is fragile. it's a hollow shell he carries around. ugly and not worthy of your attention even less your admiration, abused and marked in burns. when the digits that he carries around like a sacred body part of his, roughly engraved on his neck, come in contact with any kind of substance, liquid or his own fingers. he's reminded of the mishap his body was or rather is in. how it was abused and dragged through the mud.

putting his calloused fingers around the tattoo, stings. the touch lingers like a nostalgic scent which still remains on an old piece of clothing, one that has never been washed so the smell never fades away. it burns up at the slightest touch. hurting just as much as when it was freshly inflicted onto his young body.

kakavasha doesn't even know what he looks like. the only person he sees in the mirror is aventurine. sure he walked past puddles of dirty rain back in his childhood, reflecting his younger self, but the images are vague and blurry. he doesn't know what kakavasha looks like and he probably never will.

and neither do you. the only thing you have in front of you right now is aventurine. a shattered soul that doesn't know where it belongs. his being consists of a thousand fragments, they're scattered thoughts that are similar to broken mirror shards.

they reflect the tales of his heart and reveal its greatest desire. mirroring those untold stories like the surface of the water. thoughts and wishes that are full of pureness, almost childlike.

the broken pieces that make up the man who's named aventurine long for a haven which he can call a safe space - a home. but on the other hand he thinks that he's not permitted to find such a place, that he's not allowed to stay, undeserving of it.

“no particular reason. i just like the way it stands out, it's easy to find and trace.” the words that roll off your tongue sting. they probably hurt as much as a paper cut you've received as a little kid, but it's not like kakavasha knows or is able to relate - he didn't get to grow up like the other children. but he can't blame you, you're oblivious to his past.

his body has gone through physical and emotional abuse. beat ups, labor or starvation. the reason why his collarbone is so evident, the face you adore is so slim, and his rips slightly poke through his body, is all because kakavashas hunger has never been satisfied and the dryness in his throat has never been quenched.

even after he put on the mask of the man who calls himself aventurine - a wealthy man, who’s a member of the ten stone hearts that makes more money than he spends, he's still reluctant when it comes to eating. of course he could buy all the delicacies that kakavasha never got to try - never even knew, but he hesitates.

the concept of chewing and swallowing the bits is still something aventurine can't befriend himself with. it's unfamiliar - he's not used to it, the feeling of a full stomach, what it's like to be satisfied after a meal. it's something foreign to him, a feeling he's not sure he'll ever get accustomed to.

he doesn't think he deserves to eat. to know what it feels like to be full, the rumbling that comes from his stomach is the one he grew up with is what brought him here. he fears that if he gets too comfortable with something or someone he'll forget who he is.

a lost soul that mourns after the past, but saved itself from the dark abyss, freeing itself. not allowing himself to get too close, always keeping everyone that comes near him at an arm's length. worrying he might grow too attached.

so why is he still here? here with you, chattering happily and conversing freely, he doesn't deserve it - he doesn't deserve you.

but is it wrong to be selfish for once? he knows the answer already: it is. but he can't help it, not when you coax him into this position, one which he can't leave, no matter how hard he tries.

“i love you.” you trace the letters along his neck, over the tattoo that is engraved on his skin.

you don't need a verbal answer to know that he feels the same way. perhaps, he himself hasn't realized it yet but he's conveyed his love for you many times already. just like now as he continues to lie in bed with you.

the both of you are oblivious, but that doesn't mean that either of you will stop in your tracks, turn back and leave. (even though he sometimes wishes to do so)

both satisfaction and love are two unfamiliar concepts for aventurine. but he'll try to get to know them. for the sake of you.

© TOORURS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is not permitted.

[cookinguptales]

Can I ask you to do a post about Disney & disability please? You mentioned it and I’d love to know more!

Well, my notifications can't get any messier, so why not?

This post got very, very long because I ended up talking about a lot of the accessibility solutions in detail (and... ranting about how accessibility at Universal was so bad that I got physically injured there) so I'm putting it under a cut for you.

To preface this, I have mobility issues (as well as a lot of food intolerances/allergies) and general chronic illness, my sister is Deaf, and I have friends who regularly attend the park with autistic family members with high support needs. These are the disabilities I have experience with, so while I've heard a bit about others (such as portable descriptive devices for visitors with visual impairments) I can't speak as much about those accommodations.

I have also traveled quite a bit, mostly as a disabled adult. I can work from anywhere and my family enjoys traveling, so I've been very lucky in this regard. I also used to live in central Florida, not too far from Disney, and benefited from their FL resident rates.

So I'm coming at this from a person who has a lot of experience traveling while disabled and a fair amount of experience going to WDW, though I haven't been nearly as often since I moved out of Florida.

(Good fucking riddance.)

So know that I am speaking from experience when I say I have never, without exception, been to a single place half as accessible as Walt Disney World. It is literally the reason my family would go there; it was one of the only places we could all safely go together. One of the only places I've been on earth that even approached their level of thoughtful accommodations is Barcelona, which apparently did significant renovations throughout the city in order to prepare for the 1992 Paralympics.

(Hey, if anyone is reading this from Barcelona: I teared up the first time I used one of your curb cuts in my wheelchair, just so you know.)

Going through those parks in a wheelchair is a breeze, though you will probably have to fight a lot of clueless parents with strollers who are hellbent on using resources intended for wheelchair-users and then glaring at you when you try to use them yourself. Level ground, spacious sidewalks, accessible transportation, well-kept gradual ramps, roomy buildings, lots of accessible restrooms, alternate entrances at many rides for wheelchair users, special wheelchair rows in movie theaters that we're loaded into first, accessible queues in most rides designed or renovated in the last fifteen years, special viewing areas for shows/parades/fireworks so you don't end up staring at able-bodied butts for a half hour...

Like, structurally-speaking, the parks are very easy to get around in if you're a wheelchair user. That was built in and you can see a lot of very mindful design choices. As far as the rides go, most of their rides actually have special cars that you can load into while still in a wheelchair. They're pretty neat. I can transfer, but that means often leaving my wheelchair and/or cane with a cast member during the ride. They are always, without fail, waiting for me on the other side of the ride, no matter how far the exit is from the entrance. I have never once had a problem with this. A cast member will be there to put my assistive devices in my hand before I even have to think about getting up. Guaranteed.

Wheelchair users always used to be able to skip the line, but there was unfortunately a problem with able-bodied people pretending to be disabled to skip lines (because god forbid they not have access to a single thing we have to make our lives livable) so now there's a system where if you cannot wait in a line, they'll basically give you a special time to come back that's equivalent to the length of the line. Which feels fair to me as someone who often cannot be in even an accessible line for extended periods. (I have problems with sunlight, heat, and often need emergency food or restroom.)

More important than all this, though, is the fact that cast members are impeccably well-trained in all of this. Any disabled person can tell you that the most accessible design on earth isn't worth shit if the people working there aren't well-trained. (More on this later, when I take a giant shit on Universal Studios.) But Disney trains their employees, many of whom are disabled themselves, incredibly well.

Every employee will know where the accessible entrances are. Every employee will know the procedure for getting a return time. Every employee will know about first-aid centers, and every employee will know where the quiet areas are for people with sensory issues. Every time you make a reservation for a meal, hotel room, transportation, etc. they will ask for all accessibility needs and they'll be ready for you.

Every waiter you have will be incredibly careful and knowledgeable when it comes to special dietary needs, and chefs will often come out to discuss them with you. They often have specific menus for different dietary needs, and they are scrupulous when it comes to allergens. I have a few intolerances that suck and allergies that could kill me and I have always felt very safe in their hands. This ranges from fancy sit-down restaurants to quick service burger places.

And -- honestly, I have just always been treated with respect. I know that sounds like a low bar, but most people do fail to clear it. Disney has their employees very well-trained on how to interact with disabled guests. People speak directly to me, never to the able-bodied people over my head. They never treat me like I'm a child. They never ask invasive questions or make uncomfortable jokes. They never, ever get impatient with my accessibility needs.

The few times I have misjudged things and have injured myself or gotten extremely ill, they were professional and caring as they provided much-needed first-aid. It's kind of embarrassing to be doted on by a costumed character while you wait for a doctor to come help you sit up again, but also kind of endearing, I'll admit.

They also, in addition to captioning all videos in the park, have some of the best sign language interpreters in the world, bar none. They're very personal and professional, they're easy to reserve, they will always be in a visible place during shows, and they're incredible performers as well as being very technically proficient. In addition to the professional interpreters, many cast members, performers, and characters can sign as well.

In addition to that, and this brings me to my next point, you'll meet a lot of disabled employees throughout the park. In front-facing positions. Deaf employees, employees using mobility aids, etc. They're well-known to hire disabled people and treat them well. This is. Fuck, this is incredibly rare, I say as someone who was never able to find a job in Florida with my health conditions. It's the moral thing to do to hire disabled people, but also -- selfishly, there's something so heartening and normalizing about seeing people who look like you working at the park. I'm happy every single time.

I have a little less personal experience when it comes to accessibility for neurodivergence, despite being neurodivergent myself, but I've been told that Disney is very, very accommodating for people on the spectrum. A lot is done to lessen crowding, waiting, sensory overload, etc. for autistic guests. Cast members are usually super good at this; finding designated quiet areas, helping autistic guests avoid more crowded areas, keeping them out of long lines, making sure they have access to any particular experiences that are special to them, etc.

For folks who need help from their group, whether that's an autistic child who needs to be with a parent or a disabled adult who needs someone to push their wheelchair or anything else, Disney has a rider switch-off model. In other words, if you're there with both of your able-bodied parents, for example, and you need one of them to be with you at all times and you don't want to be on the ride yourself, Disney will allow one person to go on the ride while the other waits for them to finish, then will allow the second person to go on without any additional wait. This makes sure that everyone in the family gets equal access without leaving disabled people alone. (Which... can be a very shitty feeling, I assure you.)

I know that Disney has also pioneered a lot of assistive technology. The accessible rides, obviously, which can be ridiculously cool (like Toy Story Midway Mania has an accessible car with alternative "guns" for people with dexterity limitations so they can play the carnival games as well) but also handheld assistive devices for visually impaired guests, etc. Like they are literally inventing new forms of accessibility technology, which is so cool.

And honestly, I'm always learning about new ways they assist disabled guests. I've stayed in Disney's accessible hotel rooms before (they're very nice!) but I don't like to swim so I've never been in the pools. But even just this week, someone told me that Disney has pool lifts for disabled guests, which I had never even considered. That's so cool.

The best part about accessibility at Disney is that in some ways it's very casual. A lot of their design decisions are so intuitive that you never even notice how accessible the parks are until you go somewhere where that's... not the case.

Like -- just so you don't assume that any of these things are industry standard, let me tell you about the two times I went to Universal, a park very close to Disney. I went there once for an event and once with my family.

The first time I went was for an event at the opening of the Harry Potter park. (This was before JKR made her most appalling views public, to be clear.) It... was frustrating. Guests asked if there would be food and drink available for people with special dietary restrictions (such as sugar-free butterbeer) and were pretty much told that no, that was not something they were interested in pursuing. It became very obvious very quickly that the park itself was so narrow that it only barely fulfilled ADA standards -- when empty. We were told that JKR had actually specifically insisted that it feel "cramped". Which is a nice way to say that I couldn't actually get around in any of the stores while people were in them.

It was overall a frustrating experience, but it was like. One night. I figured it was probably a fluke and they were still ironing out all the details. So I ended up going back with my parents later.

Y'all, it was a shit show.

Broken elevators that prevented disabled guests from accessing rides. Performers being up on raised platforms/sidewalks so disabled guests couldn't get to them. Sidewalks being made inaccessible by putting movable signs directly in the middle of them. Stores (even outside of the HP part) that were so damn narrow that I actually ended up getting hurt trying to navigate one of them. And no -- it was not easy to get first aid.

And my god, was the training bad. We went to one of the new HP rides, asked if there was a specific entrance for disabled guests. We were told no. We waited for a very long time in a line that honestly I shouldn't have been waiting in, but I wanted to be a good sport. I was pretty sick by the time we got through it, and the line itself had some very dangerous inclines/turns for wheelchair users. We get to the front of the line -- and the employee asks why we didn't just use the accessible entrance. 🙃

(Side note: several of their rides are also just unrideable if you don't fit within a pretty narrow body type of thin and able-bodied, so... there's that.)

We'd asked repeatedly and gotten incorrect answers, and I'd been put in physical danger as a result. Wild. I started to notice that if you asked different employees, you'd get different answers about almost anything, really. Just exceptionally poor training. Even stuff that should've been a no-brainer, like loading wheelchair users into a stationary movie theater, ended up creating chaos when they did it incorrectly and we had a giant wheelchair pileup.

Like -- let me stress to you that many of the things that happened could have caused actual injury to people. Some of these situations were dangerous. And some of them were just alienating, like when I'd have to wait outside a store while my family could go in.

I never went back after that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We just kept going to Disney.

One thing that'll probably show how good Disney is at accessibility is the whole Make-A-Wish thing. A lot of people know that it's a popular Make-A-Wish request, and you're likely to see at least a couple kids with Make-A-Wish buttons during your visit if you keep an eye out. One reason for this, is that, y'know, Disney World is fun. Kids want to go there. But more important, I think, is that Disney can accommodate people with at-times severe medical needs. Those kids can safely go anywhere and do anything in those parks that able-bodied kids can, and that's important.

All in all, the parks are just so accessible and you will never, ever be made to feel like you're lesser for needing those accommodations. You will be treated so well and you will not have to worry about accessibility because the cast members are always doing it for you. They'll usher you into the correct entrance as soon as they see a mobility device, and they'll do it with a very warm welcome. It's one of the very few places on earth where I have never felt like a burden.

Again, y'know, I know that Disney does not have a perfect track record on a lot of issues. I would never defend them from rightfully earned criticism. I strongly support labor action against them, and I do think they should be criticized whenever they fuck up. I have been uncomfortable with the sheer amount of power they have both in Florida and in the entertainment world just because no one should have that much power. But I am far more uncomfortable with that power being stripped away for blatantly discriminatory political reasons.

I do have some loyalty to Disney just because there is no other place on earth where I've been able to safely have fun with my friends with so little agony. That's... I mean, it's important, really. To be able to just exist in public without getting grief for it. And I have some loyalty to them because they were a safe space for me as a young, queer kid who was not safe being out in other areas of my life.

(Like, I am talking about actual literal safety. I kept seeing notes on my post saying that Disney didn't care about creating a "safe space for queer people" but as someone who lived in Florida for the entirety of my teenage years? It was the safest goddamn place there.)

I do not have enough loyalty to defend them when they do immoral bullshit, but I do have enough to make sure that people know the good that they do as well.

I want other businesses to follow Disney's model for disability. I will praise them forever for what they've done in that regard because if I don't, there's no reason for other companies to follow suit. I want to praise them for the good things they've done so they have incentive to keep doing it, and other companies have an incentive to do it as well.

Like bro, I just wanna be able to move around and be treated with some dignity, y'know? My bar is so low. lmao

But yeah. That's why you always see so many disabled guests at Disney. It's literally the only place some of us can go to have fun.

[mrs-kmikaelson]

07| The Tribrid

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x daughter!reader, Marcel Gerard x mostly platonic!reader Summary: Trying to figure out a way to get Klaus to trust you, you reminisce over the past and how trust was earned in a similar situation. Warnings: none Words: 3.7K

Masterlist

a/n: does anyone know how i can fix the gifs from like not centring? it looks fine on my laptop but horrible on mobile😭

NEW ORLEANS, 1970

Strobe lights went all across the room, music blaring, but I could barely tell what song was playing, too distracted by what I was doing—or, rather, who I was about to do. I ran my fingers through his hair while his hand crept up my skirt, our kiss getting more passionate by the second.

His name didn't matter. All I cared about was the fun we were about to have. 

"Why don't we take this somewhere more private," he mumbled in between kisses. 

I nodded against him, giving him one last kiss before whispering in his ear. "Back alley." The fact that I was drunk didn't stop me from leading us across the dance floor to the back where I'd been many times before. I knew the owner—who was also a really good kisser—and so I knew where to go.

I felt the cold air hit us as soon as we got outside, despite feeling so hot. As soon as the door closed, I turned around, intending on pulling him back in for a kiss, but I almost staggered back when I saw the same man I was kissing just moments ago with veins crawling underneath his eyes, fangs protruding in his mouth.

What the fuck?

I quickly sobered up, baring my own fangs at him. The atmosphere went from hot and sexy to dark in an instant. 

His eyes widened. While his voice was surprised, there was still an undertone of hostility. "You're a vampire?"

I narrowed my eyes. "You didn't know?" God, how drunk was he? I smelt that he was a night crawler immediately. Clearly, he thought I was a human and wanted to leave so he could suck me dry.

That wasn't happening. For obvious reasons.

He cursed under his breath. For a second, I thought we'd get back to what we were doing; I mean, I just cleared this up. I was gonna be generous and continue to make out with him in spite of the fact that he just tried to kill me, but this dude just had to kill my fun, too.

He tried charging at me, but my magic worked faster than even vamp speed. Quickly, I rushed, "Motus!" and he was sent flying into the wall. My eyes widened. Fuckkkkkk, man.

I just wanted to get laid.

I wasn't supposed to do that. I was supposed to punch him, maybe snap his neck—I was supposed to do something that a vampire would do. A vampire doesn't just move things with their mind.

I thought I was soberer than that, but it seemed that the alcohol was still affecting me because I just sent a fucking vampire flying. Shock was all over the guy's face, his pretty, pretty face that I just wanted to have a good time with.

Fuck. Now I'd have to kill him.

He remained against the wall, but he didn't wait much longer before firing questions at me. "What the hell was that-"

I cut him off, "Look, man, I wasn't planning on doing a lot of talking with you tonight." Annoyance laced my voice. He didn't respond as quickly, just looking at me with an extremely analyzing gaze. I didn't doubt that he was confused. People don't just come across people like me. 

He was silent until it looked like a light bulb went off in his head. "Tribrid," he muttered under his breath, almost like I wasn't meant to hear it, but I did.

My blood went cold. "What did you just say?" I asked, but he ignored me, continuing to mutter under his breath.

"I knew a guy once—he was half wolf, half vampire." If he didn't have my attention before, he sure as hell did now. Because I only knew one person that matched that description, and that was Klaus Mikaelson.

My body went rigid while the guy took little notice, seeming to put together a bunch of puzzle pieces in his head. "Yeah-" he paused, looking up at me, "I've heard chatter. Witches saying something about a... triangle: werewolf, vampire... and witch."

Chatter? He's heard chatter? A thousand things went through my mind at once. That was impossible. Nobody knew about me. I just got to this city; there was no way witches have managed to decipher a secret I've spent centuries keeping.

Against my will, my tone was now less calm. "I don't know what you're-"

"I think you do know what I'm talking about." The guy's eyes were hard as he stared right back at me. I thought he was just some baby vamp, but it appeared that he was proving me wrong. He took a step closer to me. "You're the tribrid, aren't you?"

I almost laughed, even though I was full of nerves while, just seconds ago, I was fine. "You must have a death wish," I remarked. Maybe I could've left him alone, convinced him to forget about my display of magic and just left town. But now he not only saw that, but he also knew exactly who I was and he'd go running to tell everyone else.

He had to go. It's a shame, though, I thought, he was such a good kisser.

I stepped closer to him and he immediately got the message, eyes widening again once he realized that I had the upper hand. "No, no," he said, raising his hands in surrender. "I promise you; you do not want to kill me."

I scoffed, "And why is that?"

"Listen, I hold a lot of influence around here-"

I scoffed again. "I really don't care." Throwing power around was a politician's move, and politicians only lied to you. I wasn't gonna take my chances.

I was walking towards him, taking one step forward for every step he took back until he blurted, "My name is Marcel Gerard." At this, I stopped. Marcel Gerard... I knew that name. I stood still, racking my brain until I realized why his name sounded so familiar.

Marcel Gerard literally ruled this city. I'd been in New Orleans for not even a few days yet you could hear vampires and witches alike mentioning him often.

Damnit. Of course, I not only meet the guy who the vampires in this city worship, but I also end up locking lips with him and have him find out what I am.

I just wanted to have fun.

He saw recognition on my face, causing his own to light up. "So, you know who I am." I nodded in response, exasperatedly rolling my eyes. All of this had completely caused my buzz to dissipate into thin air. "Look..." he trailed off, making a gesture with his hands.

I rolled my again. "Y/N."

"Look, Y/N, I know what you are. I figured it out in seconds. There's already speculation of a tribrid going around with the witches-"

"Get to the fucking point, Marcel, before I just decide to kill you. Believe me, I am not in the mood to deal with this right now."

He didn't waste any more time. "I can get the witches to back off and find something else to fixate on. I can bury just the thought of a tribrid being out there, Y/N," he emphasized. 

I wonder just how dumb he thought I was. I shook my head. "So you want me not to kill you, just so you can go blab to whoever you see as soon as I leave you alone?" He shook his head right back at me.

"I won't say a thing, trust me." He paused. "We can help each other."

"Oh, c'mon-"

"No, I'm being serious," he asserted, no longer looking like he was backed into a corner but much more assured than before. "Killing me wouldn't do you any good. My people would search relentlessly for my killer, and the witches would only keep digging, possibly striking gold at some point. You keep me alive, and I can get rid of that for you." 

I only stared at him with narrow eyes. He looked confident in the bar, that's what drew me to him, but I wasn't expecting anything like this. He had a point, but that didn't mean it was enough to stop me from killing him. And if I didn't like this city, then I'd kill him without any qualms and leave. But I do like this city. I want to stay here, and I knew I couldn't stay here with him dead and with the witches suspicious.

I couldn't afford to make enemies. Right now, what I needed were friends.

I'd already made up my mind, but Marcel didn't know that, still trying to get me to see a vision that I already understood. "We can make a good team, Y/N."

I didn't say anything for a few more seconds, thinking everything over in my mind. I could possibly be making the biggest mistake of my life right now, I thought. But I was already set. I kept my voice cold and devoid of emotion. "I'm giving you twenty-four hours to make this witch thing go away, Marcel."

A weight was lifted off his shoulders. "And I'll do just that." I wasn't gonna stick around much longer. This was already much more conversation than I was anticipating to have tonight, and we clearly weren't gonna have sex, so without another thought, I sped out of the alley.

Little did I know, that night marked the start of one of the rest of my life in New Orleans.

THE PRESENT

I was pulled out of my reverie when I saw Marcel came into my vision, sitting down on the chair opposite to me. We started out trying to kill each other, and now look: we were meeting for coffee. 

I didn't trust him when I first met him, even after he made my problems with the witches disappear. That wasn't enough. And it also wasn't enough for him to insist I work with him. Those were things he was doing for his own benefit, so, of course, that didn't inspire my trust in him.

I only started trusting Marcel after he opened up to me about his past. Doing that, getting vulnerable with someone—that showed that you trusted them. And what better way to get someone to trust you than to show that you trust them?

I wasn't just reminiscing for the sake of it. The way Marcel got me to trust him was what I'd been forgetting throughout all my interactions with Klaus. I couldn't just ask him to trust blindly, the same way Marcel couldn't ask me to, or the same way I couldn't get the witches to.

I needed a show of good faith. The trick was just figuring out what.

"Hey, Y/N/N." 

I nodded back to Cellie's greeting, pushing a tumbler over to his side of the table. While I actually liked coffee, Marcel wasn't a fan. "Got you your drink."

He grinned. "Ah, have I told you how much I love you recently?"

"Definitely not enough," I quipped back. "Now drink." His smile only got wider as he brought the tumbler up to his lips, sipping from his blood while I worked at finishing my Americano.

It's been about a week since I gave the contract to Klaus and went out with Marcel and Cami, who were now accepting the title of "dating" (after lots of resistance from Cami's side). Things have otherwise been quiet. I've been over to the Abattoir a few times to speak with Elijah, sometimes speaking to Hayley, and rarely talking to Klaus, but everything was fine if you didn't count the fact that he was still staring at me every time I came over.

You'd think that I'd be the one behaving that way after constantly seeing my father, his baby mama, and his brother, but nope. I've been calm; the whole Mikaelson thing has been getting to me less, but Klaus would look at me like he was trying to pick apart everything I said or did.

Sooner or later, it wouldn't matter how well I kept my secret. He was just gonna keep digging, so I needed to stop him before he struck gold.

"How's D been doing?" He asked, and the Mikaelsons were instantly pushed to the back of my mind. Davina had that effect.

"She's been good. Doing her school work, getting better with her magic by the day. You should come by for dinner soon, actually."

"Yeah, I-" he cut himself off when a "ping" sounded. He glanced down at his phone on the table, muttering a curse under his breath. When he looked back up at me, his expression was a mix of annoyance at the disturbance and apology. "Sorry, Y/N/N, I've gotta-"

"No, no, it's fine," I told him. "Go on and deal with it." He gave me a silent thank you before getting up, kissing my cheek in parting.

"I'll make it up to you. Dinner at mine," he said, walking away backwards. I smiled, telling him I'd see him later, and then he was out the door. Although we'd been sitting for all of one minute before he had to go, I wasn't irritated. He was getting back into the groove with the Quarter's happenings, so I'd be fully supportive.

I got up, throwing my empty coffee cup into the trash and walking out of the little café, mentally running over my schedule: housekeeping, then dinner with Marcel and Davina later. Right now, I'd go game plan my pitch to the vampires.

Or not.

Just as I was about to cross the street, a black car abruptly skirted in front of me, making me jump back. Before I could make anything of it, two men stepped out of it. Their expressions were practically lifeless, not a trace of emotion in sight.

"Get into the car," one of them ordered, causing me to furrow my brows. What the fuck?

I voiced my concerns not a moment later. "Excuse me?"

The other one stepped forward as if he was threatening me. I looked him up and down. Who the fuck was he stepping to like that? "Ma'am, you're gonna need to get into the car willingly before we force you to." 

Force me to? I only stared at him, debating on whether or not I was gonna bash his head into the car he was threatening me to get into in front of any passers-by. I was then reminded of the exact thing I was on my way to work on: the peace pacts. If I exacted any violence, that wouldn't be setting the right example.

Still, though, I was tempted.

After a few seconds of eying them both, I realized I not only knew them, but I also understood what was happening here.

These were some of Marcel's old vampires.

And they were compelled.

Damnit. I glanced to the car behind them. I was willing to bet money that, inside that very car, sat Klaus. I rolled my eyes. A week ago, I would've been more put off by this, and I was, but I was more annoyed than anything.

I'd find some way to get him to trust me later, but if I didn't get into this car right now, then he'd only become even more suspicious of me, and I didn't need that.

I shook my head in disbelief that I was even gonna do this, gesturing for them to move so I could get into the car. One of them opened the back door for me and I got in.

I turned to my left, fully expecting Klaus to be sitting next to me, but instead I was met with the sight of a blonde with big, voluminous curls and bright blue eyes. Despite fitting into the dumb blonde mold exactly, I knew she was anything but.

This was Rebekah Mikaelson.

I (hopefully) hid my shock quickly, but my eyes still narrowed. My mind raced, wondering what the hell she could possibly want from me. I first jumped to conclusions, but I shut them down immediately, knowing that there was no way anyone knew I was related to the Mikaelsons, including the Mikaelsons themselves.

While I'd been visiting the Abattoir often, Rebekah was basically nowhere to be found. I never would've guessed that this was how I'd be meeting her, being pushed into a car by vampires acting like they were secret service. But, with the Mikaelsons, so far nothing has gone as I expected it.

When she turned to me, she didn't stop and observe me first like her brother did. I'd learned from my research that Rebekah Mikaelson was impulsive, possibly even more so than Klaus. So it didn't surprise me when she cut right to the chase. 

"You must be Y/N," she said. Her voice sounded like honey and a smile was on her lips, but it didn't take rocket science to know that it was all an act. "I'm Rebekah Mikaelson, but I'm sure you're already aware of that." 

I was. And so I said that. "I am." 

She hummed at my response, indirectly reminding me so much of Klaus. She pressed a button to her side, causing the partition to roll up, never looking away from me once. Her smile then quickly dropped. "What are you doing with Marcel?"

Now, I couldn't hide the surprise on my face. "What?"

"You heard me," she asserted, unwilling to elaborate any further and just continuing to look at me, waiting for a reply.

Out of all the reasons she could've pulled me into this car, that one had never even crossed my mind. I paused for a few seconds, thinking over how I'd respond. I knew Rebekah and Marcel had history, and Rebekah had created a reputation for herself as not only being a lover, but a rather possessive one.

Saying the wrong thing here could get me into a tight situation I did not want to be in, so I had to be sure that my words wouldn't piss her off. "He's my friend," I told her, but she didn't look very convinced.

"Really?" She questioned, sarcasm noticeable in her voice. "Are you so cozy with all of your friends? Because you both looked rather close in that café." So she was watching us.

I backtracked, remembering how he kissed me on the cheek on his way out. I see how that could look bad to some people, especially his ex-girlfriend who seemed much more attached to him than he let on. From the way Marcel told the story, him and Rebekah were over, but the way she was acting didn't suggest that at all.

Suddenly, Camille was brought to the forefront of my mind. "We are close," I defended. "I've known him a long time, and we're just friends." I could've left it there—should've left it there, but with Cami on my mind I couldn't help but add, "Besides, he has a girlfriend."

Rebekah narrowed her eyes at me; although, something told me she was already conscious of that little fact. Her jaw tensed, making me more alert. While Elijah and even Klaus wouldn't immediately deal with their problems physically, I knew Rebekah was a different story.

She was smart, don't get me wrong, but if there was something to know about her it was that her emotions overpowered her mind more often than not. She was impulsive, and so this could go real bad, real quick.

I had to get out of this.

I decided to just say something instead of letting her make the first move. If I said something first, then I could take control of the situation and spin it before she could.

"Look," I started. "Marcel and I have a completely platonic relationship." Well, not completely, but I wasn't gonna tell her that. "After we met, I was just helping him keep things running smoothly in the Quarter, the same thing I'm doing with your family now."

While her expression remained blank, I could tell I was swaying her in the right direction. She just needed one last push. "We talk so often because of Davina. She's important to both of us, and we just want to make sure she gets the childhood she deserves." Her eyes immediately softened, and I knew I got her.

Davina was just a child. As ruthless as Rebekah could be, she still had humanity inside her—Marcel had told me this time and time again when he was under the influence. There was something in her that he fell for, and it was her ability to care when she really wanted to.

She finally looked away from me. "I understand," she said. If I knew anything about her, then I knew she was probably embarrassed right now. It turned out that Rebekah's emotional nature had actually helped, not harmed. "Sorry for the inconvenience," she apologized, but her eyes never met mine.

She rolled the partition back down, telling the driver to stop the car and unlock the doors. "You're free to go, Y/N." I stared at her for a few seconds, wondering if there was anything else I was supposed to say, but I came up empty. So I just got out of the car and watched as they drove away right after.

Once I could no longer see the car, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

I just met Rebekah Mikaelson.

And I just barely dodged a bullet. I directed my thoughts away from freaking out because I just met yet another member of my family to how I was gonna fix the problem I had.

I couldn't keep tiptoeing on this tight-rope around the Mikaelsons. Sooner or later, I'd fall. I needed to do something to get them, all of them, to trust me. If they caught me at the right time, then everything could be exposed.

I had all of these thoughts running through my mind until a light bulb went off, and all of the puzzle pieces suddenly assembled themselves into a clear picture.

I knew what to do.

I had my show of good faith.

Taglist: @scrynexxtins @thisnameistaken1234 @honestlycasualarcade @xlittlestarling @thatgirljas13 @rosecentury

[sumi-sprite]

This is entirely @wisp-of-chaos's fault. They got me into the idea of Illithid babies, specifically their OC Vlassk with baby Omeluum. If I have to suffer the cuteness overload and brainrot, THEN SO DO YOU ALL.

Under the cut due to length!

IMAGE TEXT:

1.) Born partially blind and know their parent of guardian by their psionic signature, touch, and smell. Their vision will gradually adjust over ten to fifteen weeks of age.

2.) Self soothing: Newborns are prone to suckling on their own tentacles!

3.) Internal yolk. A newborn Illithid will "nurse" on its parent's psionic energy for the first six to eight weeks of life before adjusting to a semi-solid diet.

4.) Cranium bones are still soft and not yet fully fused. This makes the birth easier for not just the parent, but the child as well, whose delicate brain can be easily damaged until the skull hardens.

5.) Limbs are soft and extremely weak. It takes months for a newborn to learn how to fully use its limbs, with their tentacles being the first to gain full mobility and dexterity.

6.) Claws are not yet developed. Fingers and toes and very soft and delicate and may be prone to injury if the parent is not careful. Grip strength is extremely weak compared to the tentacles.

BOTTOM TEXT: Extremely soft and fragile, but frighteningly intelligent and curious. Newborn Illithids may gain a higher vocabulary in under a year if they are cared for properly and fed a rich diet of sapient brain mush. At roughly a year of age, they can be given cut pieces of intact brain. After eighteen months, they are big enough to eat a whole half brain. They are able to walk, speak, and levitate around two years.

Other HCs not included due to limited space:

juvenile marks and spots vanish over time.

newborns cannot lift their own heads for at least five months due to the size and weight of their own brains.

teething. Newborn teeth come in at around ten months of age, then shed them at two years, gaining juvenile teeth. These fall out at five years old and they gain their first sub-adult set.

the internal yolk is visible until the newborn fully absorbs it and moves onto brain mush. The translucency of its belly also becomes opaque over their first year of life.

Newborns are entirely reliant on their parent or caretakers for the first two years of their life due to their weak muscle and delicate bone structures. Their fragility makes them precious to a colony, and they take almost as much precedence as an Elder Brain.

I don't know, I just thought this was fricken adorable and like I said, entirely Wisp's fault. I need baby Omeluum in my life being a curious and extra squishy little bean that can't stop putting things in its mouth and is ENAMORED by glowing mushrooms.

It's HC hobbies include extra long naps, chewing its own tentacles, chewing Vlassk's tentacles/hands, getting into places it shouldn't, wearing cookware, naps in its sling and/or Vlassk's tendrils, touching EVERYTHING, watching small critters, and contemplating the mystery of mirrors.

[jojo-oliver]

my terf+transphobe blocklist

Every terf I've found. For your blocking pleasure! Under the cut

Oh fuck there's a terf in my notes! What can I do? 1. Flag on shinigami eyes browser extension. You've probably heard of this, but it's free, available on desktop. Also available on firefox mobile I think. Has been used to improperly flag people before. Trust but verify. 2. Look through "Blogs like this one" to break the reblog chains and effectively block a whole circle of them. You could also just look through who they're reblogging from. 3. Have a quick scroll for any posts that are reportable. This takes a lot more time than the other steps, but if enough people report them, and if you're reporting something that breaks tumblr's guidelines, then their account could get taken down. Win. 4. Lastly, block. OR Block first and save yourself the psychic damage. If you're on mobile, you could block first and go back later on desktop, finding them in your blocked tumblrs list, to do the rest. Do not interact! Do not send anons! Don't even give them that. Just flag, report, block, move on. Movements don't go anywhere in silence.

Please know that there aren't actually that many of them. I've noticed from going through so many, and from how they interact in my notes... I don't want to say too much because I'm starting to feel like someone's going to read this eventually. But it can be pretty clear that they have multiple accounts. Some of them are making this their full-time jobs. Just sitting on the computer and finding trans people to bully. It's pathetic and sad. If you block all of them, they just... stop existing. Because it's a small group of people. But they do make new accounts once too many people have blocked them, every... 3-9 months? Or, I imagine, once they start to notice that the site feels empty to them and they've been blocked by too many people? It's easy to block enough of them, but I do recommend setting aside some time to do this. I also recommend taking care of your mental health afterwards. When I encounter a block list from someone else, I always check out the blog before blocking, because tools like these can be used against us as well. Shinigami eyes has been used to incorrectly mark trans people before. Trust but verify. No tool is perfect. So I'm assuming you're going to check some of these blogs out too, because that's what I would do. Set some time aside to take care of yourself afterwards please. Love you.

How to put these in your blocklist quickly

The way I do it uses desktop and your phone at the same time. Or 2 tabs on desktop. The second part is to reference the usernames or look them up. Click on your own profile picture icon and on the right hand side of the screen should be this:

Click on "blog settings" at the bottom. You'll be brought to a new screen, where you'll scroll all the way to the bottom, and see this:

Click on the writing thing there and then you'll finally see your block list:

I'll find this post and reblog with more of them whenever I find them. I've never made a block list before, if I could do something better let me know <;3 If someone's changed their username DM me and I'll edit it Accurate as of 2023-10-04 ----------------------------------- -Row 1- prettyrad-ical thefemalejoker42069 sirona-ryan hard--headed--woman modernamericanbreakfast meowfem uter-us mala-santa-radfem nightdepthss radfemtiktok radfem-rage glitter-soda cordycepsfem burningtheroots meanevilandcruel floradfem radsplain terf-hands gougarfem freckled-radfem radrevoltz a-toast-to-womanhood radmista -Row 2- gentlyriseandfall acidbathcat chubbyraccoonman julzlex28 kweerphobique female-prince antiyourwokehomophobia2 quinntheestallion antiporn-activist blueipa angela-anaconda-was-a-lesbian ellaacadia opabiniawillreturn coochiequeens raccoonjesus redheddebeauty nonenosome2 gendiebrainrotreceipts cornedbeef101 kaleiddie bolshefem -Row 3- irresponsiblebirdowner 1-888-narcolepsy terfytingz strozzaprete raidenfem capricorn-season cloud-enigma-blog rad-fem-r-us butch-reidentified terf-tea antigender1 the-rad-menace paperlunamoth femailment patronsaintofvulvas goyangii femmessias2 chadradfem filianongrata -Row 4- i-eat-boiled-eggs-for-breakfast conmigonoeh daughterf radishpanda adult-human-gc-female nansheonearth ilistened2transwomen magnetictapedatastorage demonlizard noncompliantbi transmisogynyiscool goblinous radbutches radicalfembabey frankenawus femmesandhoney lavendertruffles etesienne lavendeerlesbian latina-and-rad punishthegods -Row 5- shes-unforgettable blackswallowtailbutterfly iceyrukia womantichrist faxroux femgoddess-hecate radicalitch radicalblunt chocobbunnii finnishrogue cheesyradfem the-land-of-women transwomenarestillmen catsthemewsical butchlesbianz sowhatnotcreative womens-suffrage-revival-squad -Row 6- back-not-broken friendlymathematician vulva-lacking-losers lilleisak misandristdiarist lookupmedicalmisogyny irisintel womenshallrise creatorisawoman mint-fem large-gamete-maker wordsfromthewick feministfairy libertarian-princess rad-claid-plaid cisthoughtcrime powerfem feral-radfem -Row 7- lizaganderson gynoids-over-androids localbisaster tubularfem there-are-4-lights realisticflyinglesbian femjerma earwigeater destroyerofgender scumbhag clytemnestra-was-right kronkk eternal-echoes kafkaesqueneet xrgl maleswillbemale aspiringfalseidol old-school-butch radafayscage -Row 8- makeyourownopinion gcdk ex-schizo zombierightsadvocate buildingmode2fromthesims1 sofuma feministclassicist radfemlands scumlafeccia son-of-hemera terra-feminarum natures-imperfection atmospherings belastrenchcoat sublimeobjectperson wawaenjoyer feministhetic sparklypinktutu1 -Row 9- kittens2000 spacemonkeyg78 princessterf hidetothink nobleelfwarrior ancientdriftwood 10reallybigants radfemsilv elfyprincess meetmebythe1ake genderatheist religion-is-a-mental-illness s34b4ss kurwaii zlatan-dreams radradmarivy impawsterette if-you-see-gay-me lethalyellowallele dyke-chytilova molagrunda gruncheon victoriassecretagent

-Yippee you made it to the bottom! Check to see if I've added more since, if you'd like. Practice some self care. Love you.-

[valentineish]

What I need abled people to realize is how fucked up it is to ask strangers about our mobility devices or medical equipment. I especially need you to internalize is how much this functions like catcalling.

The harassment started the minute an abled decided to approach me. There was not an appropriate way for them to ask about my body and the equipment it needs. But because of their actions, I am given the job of figuring out what's more dangerous: disclosing intimate details about my life, health, and body, or pushing back.

Without fail, ableds get hostile when a cripple like me chooses the latter. There is outrage at even the most polite expression of "no thank you". Trying to express how they've violated me isn't even an option. I am already aggressive for not performing an impossible standard of grace.

And because of this stranger's choice, because of the power dynamics at play, my existence suddenly centers on a stranger. My life needs to go on pause to handhold a totally unknown abled's feelings about my hurt they caused. All the while, I still have to brace for the potential that they will overpower me, or steal my equipment, or try to institutionalize me.

This is a terrifying position to be in. And it happens so frequently, my stomach drops whenever a stranger approaches me.

There are no neutral questions you can ask about a stranger's body – and my equipment is part of my body. This is not small talk. This is not considerate or empathetic. Despite how it looks to you, these are not like comments on somebody's outfit.

Hearing any inquiry about my crutches or limp or whatever from somebody I don't know is invasive and creepy. It's like somebody asking you "what did you do to become left handed?" or "did you always smile like... that?" or "oh my god, why do you have glasses?", then being expected to give an in-depth answer. It fucking sucks, and for disabled people, it has broader implications than you can imagine.

If you want to know why that person you spotted needs medical equipment? Tough. Shut the fuck up, mind your goddamn business.

EDIT: I want to include an ask I got about this post so it doesn't get lost in a reblog. Screenshot and expansion will be under the cut.

Anon was right to point this out! I would like to better clarify the point I was trying to make.

I chose people commenting on somebody's smile, dominant hand, or eyewear on purpose. Expression can be impacted by things like facial paralysis or even neurodivergence. Paralysis or amputation can require changing one's dominant hand. And despite their normalization, prescription glasses are medical equipment.

Ablebodied people can get comments on these things. Some people just have distinctive expressions. People can be naturally left-handed (and notably, punishing left hand dominance was the standard for generations). Non-prescription glasses were a huge trend in the 2010's. Similarly, ablebodied people can temporarily require mobility aids! You or someone you've known has likely needed a cast or crutches due to an injury.

Strangers approaching an ablebodied person about these things is still bad. It's inappropriate, and the kind of thing you'd vent to friends about for being uncomfortable. Still, answering typically won't require sharing extremely personal, potentially traumatic information. It does not carry the fear of stating "my body is like this forever for a reason scary or inhuman to you".

When these questions are directed towards a disabled person, though? It does carry those heavy implications. We are being put at risk. A stranger is asking us to divulge our ability status, and give them wildly personal history. Furthermore, it confirms us as disabled – thus putting us at risk for discrimination of varying levels of severity, including institutionalization.

My point in making that comparison was not "people don't say those things". Strangers absolutely do this. My point was "comments about medical equipment count as body commentary". My crutches or bifocald do not get treated like the extensions of myself they are. The severity of this harassment, then, does not translate to those who don't need such accommodations.

Questioning somebody's body or the things supporting that body is never a good idea. Whether abled or disabled, a stranger is bothering that person simply to sate their own curiosity. Nothing of substance can be gained – but everything is at risk for disabled people.

[dragonwritersblog]

She Was Like A Sunflower

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12

Yeah, I just finished this so there may be some spelling mistakes. I just didn't want to delay the second chapter any further so I'll fix them when I wake up. Also, WHO PUT DOOMED YURI IN MY FUNNYBUNNY FIC?!?! Also, come support me and Pandora's new au on our shared tumblr called 'The Amazing Digital Redacted AU'. If you love indie horror like Bendy and the Ink machine, Poppy Playtime, FNAF then you'll love this AU. Here's the link Don't forget to check out twitter as well All that said, enjoy chapter 2! (and dont kill me pls)

2. Marjorie

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

And if I didn't know better

I'd think you were singing to me now – Marjorie by Taylor Swift

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Cloudy skies, not a hint of light coming through. It was going to be that type of day today, and that type of mood by the way Winter observed Riley’s behaviour this morning. The redhead was at the table, drinking coffee and bouncing Percy on her knee. Winter could tell whenever a smile was pretend, and the way her wife smiled right now was no exception.

Could she blame her? Winter was a wreck when Jack went missing and knowing how close Penny and Riley were, it made sense for her wife to behave the way she did. But the thing is, Riley didn’t, or scream, or get angry. The passionate, loud, amazing women she married wasn’t the one holding their son at the table. There was only a shell. And after that visit she had with David, Riley’s shell had only gotten tougher.

If Riley said anything that related to Penny, it would be to trying to find her. She never spoke about how it made her feel, never saw a tear, or the grieved anger that one would expect. Riley was always so loving towards anything about her sister, it unnerved Winter seeing her wife like this.

“Look at him,” Riley cooed at the little baby on her lap. “We have the cutest kid in the world, look at him.”

Percy giggled as his mother held him up under the arms, thrashing his legs about as he peered at his mama over the kitchen island. “He is the cutest baby in the world,” Winter agreed. “Um, I know Captain Rae is okay with you working on this case. But are you sure-”

“We should get him a new mobile,” Riley cut her off, focusing her attention on Percy. “I think the other one isn’t working to well, he never pays attention to it.”

Winter pursed her lips, tapping her fingers on the kitchen counter. She wanted to at least say something about Penny before Riley had to leave to drop Percy off at Laura’s. “Listen, Riley,” she spoke, making her wife turn to her. “You have been nothing but patient when I found out Jack went missing, I know this type of this is so fucking far from easy. Whatever you’re feeling, I’ve felt it too. You…you know that right?”

“I know,” Riley smiled warmly. “You know, you can say if you’re missing Jack again. You don’t have to be light about it to make me feel better, okay Hun?”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m trying to say,” Winter pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ve heard you in the night, waking up crying. I understand what you’re feeling, you can talk about Penny-”

“-Okay Percy,” Riley turned back to her son. “Are you ready to see Grandma?” She immediately stood up, holding him by her hip as she grabbed her own bag, Percy’s baby bag and car keys from the table.

It was as if a switch was flipped, a wall was put up and the shell was hardening. “Riley, wait!” Winter went round the kitchen island as she chased her wife to the door, “Riley.”

Riley froze as she opened the door, facing the outside, her face hidden. Winter heard her take a sharp intake of breath before facing her with the same faux smile that she had been wearing ever since she came back from David’s “Yeah?”

“I…It’s just,” Winter tried to find the words, to say something that didn’t involve her life leaving without at least finishing a conversation. But she knew that no matter how hard she tried, Riley would find an opening in order not to face it, and it would only make Winter’s efforts even harder. The dark-haired woman sighed, “I’ll see you at work later. I…love you.”

A glimpse of a real smile appeared on Riley’s face, “I love you too carrot cake.” The redhead pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah,” Winter nodded solemnly, “See you soon.”

With that, Riley turned her focus back on Percy and shut the door behind her. Winter let her soldiers sag, a painful ache forming in her heart. She knew Riley was hurting, she saw it flicker in her eyes every time a dead end came up for Penny’s case, she heard it when Riley awoke crying from nightmares – yet Winter pretended she was asleep in order for Riley to not feel ashamed – and she felt every single anger and grief that she knew Riley was having because she had felt it when Jack went missing.

So why wouldn’t Riley talk to her?!

Winter took a deep breath, trying to cancel out the negative energy. Everyone copes differently with these types of things. Besides, she and Riley were as strong as cement, they could work through this despite how bleak everything seemed.

Riley would come to her eventually…maybe…hopefully.

So why did Winter feel so lonely?

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“Okay, let me understand this as best as I can,” Ragatha started. Pomni and Jax had set up some bean bags for everyone while they sat on the bed, just finishing up their rundown of everything that happened in the last day. “You two have your memories back?”

“Yup,” Jax nodded.

“And you two were engaged before you got sucked in here?” Zooble questioned.

“That would be correct,” Pomni agreed.

“And now you guys might know a way to escape this place?” Gangle asked.

“That is a plausibility,” Jax replied.

Ragatha pressed her hands together and held them near her face, taking a long, deep, exhausted breath, “This is a lot to take in.”

Pomni bit her lip nervously, “I know this is the last thing you were all expecting, but you’re all handling this well all things considered.”

“I’m just confused on how you managed to fall in love with Jax of all people,” Zooble muttered, glaring at the rabbit.

Jax rolled his eyes, “Thanks Zooble.”

Pomni frowned, taking his hand into hers and squeezing it tight, “Because he loved me despite everything, saw me at my worst yet stayed because he knew I could thrive into my best. And right now, he helped me find a possible way to get everyone out of here. Do I excuse what he’s done to all of you? No. And I’m still not happy with how he treated me and Ragatha on my first day. So don’t think I’m taking sides, I’m simply observing.”

Zooble sighed, almost feeling guilty…almost. But they trusted Pomni’s word, not Jax’s (they didn’t know if they ever would) but definitely Pomni’s. “Fine” she muttered.

Kinger looked more lost than he usually did. The usual quiet brainstorm he would have in the middle of the room increased like wildfire. “Memories…returning,” he mumbled. “This…I don’t…I haven’t seen anything like it.”

Jax turned to the chess piece. He didn’t like this reaction, not one bit. It brought up too many painful flashbacks of someone similar to Kinger going through the same thing a long time ago, “Kinger, buddy, stay with us.”

It was like going in one ear and out the either for the royal character, still shaking like a leaf, “How…what is…something is…a trip?”

Trip? Jax didn’t want to see how far this would go, how far Kinger would go unless he’d – no, he wasn’t going to finish that thought and he wouldn’t let this continue. “Kinger!” Jax clapped his hands, the sound ringing through the room and snapping the chess piece out of his mumblings.

Kinger blinked. Once, twice, “Oh Jax.” And once again, he was back to himself, “Apologies, I must have been lost in a dream. But it’s so nice to know you and Pomni were together, young love finds a way.”

Despite the chess piece giving them all a scare, that statement alone made the rabbit and jester blush. Would it be rude if he kicked everyone out and smother his fiancé with attention? Yes, yes it would. And while it was tempting, Jax couldn’t afford to indulge. Not when the giant elephant in the room was still being addressed.

“It is really sweet,” Gangle whispered. It sounded like a genuine compliment from the masked woman – and it was don’t get her wrong – but there was something else lacing her tone. Something else that suggested the bodied ribbons couldn’t be as happy as she wanted to be. But she didn’t say, it wasn’t her place. No one could even tell from that slight lilt in her voice that she felt this way.

But Zooble noticed.

“Okay, still a little confused but I think I’m getting there,” Ragatha finally spoke up again. “Listen, Pomni. You know I trust you whole heartedly, but we’ve been here for years and no one has seen an exit until now, are you sure that what you’ve seen is accurate?”

Pomni’s face fell. Despite the door in front of Ragatha, despite everything she told her, why did the ragdoll still doubt her? “But we told you. The exit door is right there,” Pomni pointed to the door on the wall, desperation filling her eyes. “I know it seems impossible but I really think we can get out of here!”

Ragatha gasped, covering her mouth with guilt at what she said, “Sorry, sorry Pomni I phrased that wrong. It’s just…we’ve all tried looking for a way out and it always backfired, even when we think we’ve gotten so close. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

Pomni opened her mouth, about to speak when-

“Ragatha,” Jax spoke. Everyone’s eyes widened, he never said Ragatha’s actual name, and so seriously either. “We saw her mother. She saw us send out a message to her. She knows we’re alive.” He paused, watching the ragdoll process everything with shock written all over her face. “Someone knows we’re here now. I know you’re scared, but this is a real chance of finally leaving.”

Ragatha’s mouth opened and closed, cutting off words before they even arrived at her lips. She thought she knew everything about the circus, had accepted that no matter how much they tried they could never escape. It was a horrible thing to accept, but she had to if she wanted to stay sane and not end up like…she could still feel herself almost crumbling away when Kaufmo’s abstracted form attacked her. No, no! She can’t lose herself now. She should be grateful that Pomni and Jax managed to find a way to be free, so why did it feel so hard to grasp onto that hope? “Okay,” she sighed. “I trust you, Pomni. But what about Caine, do you think you’ll tell him-”

“NO!” Pomni cut her off, fear swimming in her red and blue eyes. Even everyone seemed shocked by her sudden volume. Jax held her close, hugging her trembling form as the jester took a few breaths to calm herself down. “No, I-I don’t think that’s a good idea. He already had a weird way of trying to make things ‘fun’ here, I don’t know how he’ll feel when we say we’ve found a legitimate exit. What if he tries to take that away?”

The rest of the group nodded slowly. Even before Pomni arrived, Caine had always shut down the possibility of an exit being possible. And every time it was shown to him, he would twist it and prove to them that it was just another part of the circus. It was like he feared an exit even existing.

“It’s just your imagination!” he always said, leaving them to doubt if what they saw was actually there. And if you lost yourself in those thoughts, then it was a one-way trip into the cellar. And nobody wanted that.

“Well in that case…” Ragatha trailed off, closing her eyes for a moment. When they opened, they were fierce and determined. “Keep doing what you’re doing. This actually seems like a true way to finally get out of here. But do not let Caine find out. Keep pretending that everything is the same, you two are just friends, you don’t remember your past and that there is no way an exit is even here.”

“Got it,” Pomni and Jax said in unison.

“Which means that you two should stop acting like a couple whenever you’re in public,” Ragatha stated.

“Oh we know,” Pomni smiled innocently.

“Yeah, it’s not as hard as it seems,” Jax replied cooly.

Ragatha raised a coy brow at the two of them, “Pomni, darling, you’re sitting on Jax’s lap.”

Oh, right, the two of them forgot about that. They were both quick to slip back in to how they used to be before the circus, which meant a lot of trusting physical contact that the two were proud to have developed over the years. But then again, Ragatha was right. Something like that would be extremely obvious to Caine that something was up.

Pomni slid of the rabbit’s lap, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly while Jax coughed nervously behind his fist. “Right, sorry,” Pomni laughed sheepishly, while Jax pouted at the lack of contact.

Ragatha pinched the bridge of her nose again, this is gonna be a disaster.

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Riley paced back and forth in her mother’s living room, her phone held to her ear as she chewed on her fingernail. “Oh god I fucked up, I really fucked up,” she mumbled as the dial buzzed in her ear.

“Riley, sweetie, it’s gonna be okay,” Amber put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, ceasing her pacing. “If this Samual boy is as nice as you say he is I’m sure he’ll listen to you.”

“I was really awful the last time I saw him, Mom,” Riley winced as she remembered his cries, ignoring him as the elevator doors shut behind her. “And the worst part was, I genuinely believed he was telling the truth. You always told me to trust my gut and I did! With him! But then Jason Wood said stuff that sounded plausible, and I feel so fucking stupid because even my head was screaming at me not to believe him. I didn’t know whether to trust the facts because both of them were laid out to me and I-”

“Hey, hey,” Amber’s voice was soft yet firm.  “This isn’t like anything you’ve ever worked on before. We are dealing with something that we didn’t even know existed, and its personal since both Jack and Penny are involved in this. In a normal case, maybe someone like Jason is right about this. But this isn’t a normal case, and we have proof that this Jason guy isn’t to be trusted.”

Riley nodded, “I have to let him know how sorry I am. This kid, he’s been through so much, all I did was make his situation worse. If Jason really treated him like that them…oh god…oh god Mom we really need to help him!”

Amber nodded feverishly. When Riley told her what Samual went through, with his parents going missing and how Jason was like to him whenever they were brought up, all the mother saw was nothing but red. The only time Amber looked like she was ready to kill was with David after the car crash all those years ago, and again when he showed up at both of her daughters’ homes unannounced.

Riley was about to speak when-

“Hello?” Samual’s voice answered through the phone.

“Ah, Samual!” Riley gasped, keeping the phone tight to her ear. “Samual you were right about everything! We couldn’t trust Jason!”

“M-miss Riley?!” His tone was small and frightened, almost trading on eggshells at the sound of her. “What are you talking about?”

Riley only wanted that type of fear from the voices of those who wronged her, not from innocent kids trying to help. She wanted to slap herself in the face for making that mistake, “Samual, you know the emails you showed me? Of the mystery person? The same thing happened to my Mom, my sister, I think she’s trying to get into contact with us.”

There was a small pause on the other line, before the boy spoke meekly, “You…you believe me?”

“Yeah, yeah kid I do,” Riley was nothing short of breathless. The last twenty-four hours have been nothing but a blur. But the way she spoke to him, at the height of her anger. Even if this situation wasn’t real, she shouldn’t have spoke to a hurting kid like that. “Samual, I owe you an apology.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to-”

“Samual, please,” she gently cut him off. “The way I spoke to you was nothing short of cold and rude. I was in a bad place and me and my family have gone through so much pain, but that’s no excuse and I should never have taken my anger out on you. I’m so sorry Samual.”

There was a pause, Riley waited with bated breath. Mere seconds felt agonisingly long until Samual finally answered, “I forgive you.”

Riley felt her lungs fill with air, finally letting herself breathe, “Really?”

“Yeah, I get it. Jason has a history of getting people to believe his stories,” Samual said. “I don’t blame you. And now I’m guessing we have more proof that he’s lying?”

“That’s right,” Riley confirmed, “Are you free to come check it out?”

“I’ll be there as quick as I can,” Samual’s excited and curious tone returned. “I can’t wait to get started on our secret FBI work!”

The line cut off before Riley could say another word. She grinned, shaking her head.

He forgave her.

“I’m guessing it went well?” Amber asked, her own smile gracing her lips.

Riley nodded, relief washing over her again and again, “We might actually be getting somewhere.”

Amber faltered a little. For a while, she was starting to lose hope that she would ever truly hear those words. But somehow, mercy was gifted to her and her family. “We’re gonna find her,” she stated firmly to her eldest daughter “We’re gonna get Penny back.”

“We will Mom,” Riley agreed, “We will.”

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Yes the option to not go on Caine’s adventure was always available, but it didn’t mean that the ringmaster was too happy whenever someone decided to stay behind. Right now, Zooble was idly walking down one of the hallways on the tent, kicking their foot against the carpet a few times. Ironically enough, Zooble wasn’t the first and only one who volunteered to stay behind for the day. Nope, it was Gangle who asked first.

Normally the ribboned lady wouldn’t mind tagging along on an adventure with everyone else, but today she turned away at the offer trudging back into the circus. Zooble had instantly recognised that it wasn’t Gangle’s usual behaviour and decided to stay back too. He would deal with Caine’s shenanigans once the pair of dentures came back with the rest of the crew.

Zooble paced up and down the hallway, the day was nearly up but she hadn’t actually worked up the courage to see if Gangle was okay. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but Gangle was one of the sweetest and sensitive people here. Zooble cherished the fact that someone like her wanted to be friends with someone like him, to the point that they even got a bit nervous when talking with her one on one. But right now, there was something obviously wrong with Gangle and Zooble made the choice to stay behind to make sure that she didn’t feel less alone. Yet here she was, keeping a distance from the masked lady because he was nothing but afraid.

But then they stopped. When he was in the gloink hole, Gangle was the only one to realise he was missing, even being brave enough to try and bring her back. It would be selfish of Zooble to not at least try to comfort the girl and see if she was okay. Swallowing both his fears and pride, Zooble marched themselves down the hall to find Gangle.

He found her sitting on the stage, her silk legs drawn up to her chest as she sighed to herself, her comedy mask was once again broken and she had to rely on her secondary, sombre one instead. Under Zooble’s stoic expression, she was absolutely terrified. They didn’t know why, Gangle was their friend. Why did they feel afraid to start a conversation alone with a friend. Their sweet…kind…pretty friend. Ah! Pull yourself together! Gangle needs you!

Zooble took a deep breath, he could do this. And so, he walked up to the stage, slipping into their usual and calm posture, “Hey Gangle. No adventure today?”

She jumped a bit at the sound of her name, relaxing when they saw who it was, “No, not today. I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Oh,” Zooble nodded awkwardly. They weren’t really good at the emotional fluffy stuff, every time they tried she somehow always reached a dead end. But he didn’t want Gangle feeling this lonely, he had to at least try and help her out, “Any reason why?”

Gangle rubbed her arm, giving Zooble a sad smile, “It’s okay Zooble. If you have somewhere to be then you can go, you don’t need to stay and talk to me if you don’t want to.”

“No I do!” Zooble said a bit too quickly, making Gangle squeak. “Gah, sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to sound like that. It’s…ugh how does Ragatha do this so easily?” They closed their eyes for a moment, breathing deeply before opening them again. “I’m here because I want to be. And I’m always willing to lend an ear if you need to talk. Gangle, if there’s anything you wanna say or do, I’m here.”

The ribboned woman seemed to be taken aback by that, not fully expecting that level of support from the usual reclusive assortment of parts. But she wasn’t complaining, she liked seeing this side of Zooble. “Well, it’s just…” she started, fiddling with the ends of her ribbons for a moment. “I’m happy that Pomni and Jax have their memories back, really I am. And it really is sweet that they used to be together, but…”

“But?” Zooble asked.

“…Jax has done nothing but torment us, prank us and make our lives miserable,” Gangle spoke. “Every day, he’s done nothing but go out of his way to annoy us just because he likes seeing funny things happen to people. And now he has his memories back and we’re suddenly happy for him?! After all he put us through. As if it erases everything he did to us! With Pomni, I’m glad that she remembers who she was. She was so scared when she got here and Caine has done nothing to help her, so it’s good finally seeing her smile. But with Jax? It might be wrong for me to say but it doesn’t seem fair! We’ve been trying everything to remember who we were, all the while he laughed at us for doing so! Like he hadn’t tried doing so in the first place as well yet he still made fun of us! And now he gets them back just like that! I wanna remember! I tried so hard to! Yet he berated me for trying and he-”

She covered her mouth, ashamed. She said too much. “Oh gosh, that’s horrible what I just said!” her eyes darted round the area. “I need to find my comedy mask, that why I’ll stop talking like this and be happy! Where is it? I swore I had it here somewhere, it’s not broken. Oh god, what if it is?! No, no, no! I need my comedy mask! I need it! I wanna stop feeling like this!”

“Gangle! You’re okay!” Zooble quickly caught Gangle’s flailing hands in theirs, holding them firmly yet gently. “You’re not a horrible person for saying that and I get what you’re trying to say. I know you don’t mean anything bad by it and I understand your frustration. Am I glad that bozo has his memories back, sure. But it doesn’t mean that I forgave and forgot all that he put us through, and you don’t need to either. If someone as weird as Jax can get his memories back, then someone as amazing as you can get yours back too.”

Gangle lips parted for a moment, speechless at the honesty in Zooble’s tone. “Y-you think I’m amazing?” she whispered.

Zooble’s voice got caught in her throat, her entire face flustering up as she removed his hands from Gangle’s. “Well, yeah,” they replied nonchalantly. “You don’t overwhelm me like Caine or annoy me like Jax. Plus I like your acts you put on.”

Gangle practically beamed at that, “You like my acts?”

“Hehe, of course,” Zooble’s eyes gleamed. “You got a real talent for that.”

The masked lady giggled, “You know, for someone who doesn’t think they’re good at soft stuff, I think you did a pretty great job with talking to me.”

“Oh,” Zooble blushed, clearing their throat before mumbling, “Thank you. And your comedy mask, you wanna leave it or…”

“No I can’t leave it,” Gangle quickly told her. “Everything just gets too much in here, I need my mask to make it easier, to make me happier. That way I won’t bring everyone down and I’ll be as happy as I need to be.”

Zooble furrowed his brows at Gangle’s statement, “But you don’t bring-”

“Oh, I think I know where it is!” Gangle grinned. “I’ll be back soon! Thank you Zooble!” She then tore off down the hall, all the way back to the bedroom quarters.

“Wait but…” Zooble reached out an arm to her, but Gangle was already gone. “But you don’t need your mask to be happy.”

They sighed. They had seen Gangle smile without the mask, a real genuine smile that wasn’t forced by some code from the character model forced onto her. If anything, Zooble swore that the mask only made things worse for Gangle, making her rely on it more and more. Zooble wished to see that real smile again.

Their train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a group of voices, tired and groaning. She turned, looks like the adventure was over for today. “Jeez, what happened to you guys?” they asked.

“Football stadium adventure,” Ragatha mumbled, rubbing her lower back. “Turns out when you put four inexperienced players against a group of NPC’s coded with tons of knowledge about it, you tend to face a lot of back pain.”

Zooble hissed through his teeth, “Yikes.”

“But it’s all a part of the adventure!” Caine boomed, making them all jump. “After all! How boring would it be if you didn’t learn at all!”

“You couldn’t at least give us a tutorial?” Jax grumbled. “Was that really too hard for you to do dentures?” He wasn’t really angry for himself. Well, he was. But Pomni had a really hard time on her feet during the whole game, easily being outnumbered and beaten by the NPC’s.

At one point, one of them kicked her in the leg instead of the ball, sending her to the ground. For a moment, Jax had forgotten all about the pretending, tackling the NPC to the ground before checking on his secret fiancé. Thankfully, Caine saw it as Jax thinking they were playing soccer (despite him literally kicking the ball for hours on end) and being a good teammate. Jax had never been more thankful for the AI’s naivety, especially when it gave him a chance to take Pomni to a nursing room and dressing her wound (he wouldn’t forget about how her cheeks turned red when he kissed the side of her bandaged knee).

“Anyhow!” Caine fiddled with his cane before tossing it away, a cartoonish sound effect resonating from where it landed. “I suggest you all rest up! We’ve gotten even more adventures planned for tomorrow and you’ll all need a good feast and rest before that!”

“Oh great, its not as if we heard that line before,” Jax muttered. Pomni crossed her arms over her chest, raising a brow at the rabbit. Jax only grinned, rolling his eyes at the pair of dentures before circling his finger at the temple of his head, clearing stating his opinion of the ringmaster. Pomni scoffed, failing to hide a smile at her fiancé. Jax’s face softened, he’ll never get tired of making her smile.

 “I’ll leave everyone to themselves before dinner!” Caine boomed with his usual, yet unsettling, toothy grin. “Take care my superstars!”

Like the same song and dance he had done many times before, the pair of dentures vanished in a puff of smoke. Jax waited a few seconds, making sure that the ringmaster was gone before rushing over to Pomni. “How’s your knee? Does it still hurt?” he asked, brushing his hand over the bandage.

“Yeah Hun I’m okay,” Pomni reassured him, petting behind his ears. “I’m sure it’s just a bruise now with the way things work here.”

His brows furrowed worriedly, “You sure? No more aches?”

“No more aches,” Pomni repeated.

“Good, good,” Jax let his thumb brush over the bandaged skin one more time before standing up. “So, you ready to get back to business.”

Pomni took in a sharp breath, both excitement yet a hint of nerves washing through her, “Yeah, let’s go see my Mom.”

Jax nodded, the two of them going down the hall again, unable to feel the gaze of everyone else’s eyes on them.

“Still having doubts Rags?” Zooble turned to the ragdoll.

“A little bit,” Ragatha nodded, a bit of shame shown on her face. “It’s not that I don’t trust them. I guess I’m just…scared. We never had anything like this. It could go either really well or…” She didn’t want to finish that sentence. She didn’t want to finish that thought! Never before had they tittered on a tight rope so close to collapsing. If this went wrong, then all of them could suffer a fate worse than abstraction. No, no she wasn’t going to think about that. It she was brought down, then so would everyone else. And she wasn’t going to allow herself to act so selfishly, “Never mind, how about I go see if Bubble would like help making dessert?”

Zooble frowned at Ragatha’s shift in mood, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Ragatha questioned innocently.

“You always do that, act like you’re not sad when you are,” Zooble told her. “You’re allowed to not have good days, you know that right?”

“Oh Zooble, you worry too much,” Ragatha patted his arm. “I’m absolutely fine, no bad thoughts in my head whatsoever. Now, I think a pie would do well for dessert for tonight, don’t you think?”

With that, the ragdoll turned on her heel and headed to the kitchen. That was two people in a row that pretended to be happy to Zooble. He hated when that happened, when they forced down any type of negativity in the fear of being abstracted. It wasn’t fair that this threat kept hovering over everyone’s head, and Zooble hated it that Caine didn’t do anything to sooth their worries, instead leaving them to wallow with shallow adventures that they all hated. It was another reason why Zooble felt bitter with Jax, he kept pushing them on the brink every single time while knowing how much they all feared the fate of the cellar, yet he never stopped. Zooble felt frustrated tears at the corners of her eyes, allowing them to fall. The others might be too scared to cry, but they didn’t want to (part of them was glad that Pomni felt the same way as well).

He felt a hand cover her shoulder, rubbing it carefully like a parent would do with their child. Zooble turned his hand, it was Kinger. His eyes didn’t meet theirs, still lost in his own worlds of chaos and insects. Yet his hands moved on their own, as though another part of his mind wanted to reach out and sooth them. Zooble sniffed, if they could smile then he would be smiling at Kinger right there and now. As crazy as it sounded in her head, Kinger somehow seemed to be the sanest of them all.

.

.

.

Knock, knock

Riley rushed to the door, opening it wide as it revealed the startled face of one Samual Abel. “Samual,” she gasped. “Thank you so much for coming! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Miss Riley, it’s okay,” he smiled softly. “I already told you I forgive you.”

“I know, I know,” Riley brushed back some of her red hair. “But you didn’t need to. You could have just accepted my apology and moved on, but you forgave me. Why? The way I spoke to you was awful.”   

Samual shrugged, “When I was a kid, my Dad always taught me that forgiveness is a heavy thing. Many people will feign an apology just so they can unburden themselves with forgiveness without actually being sorry. I don’t forgive a lot of people, I don’t think I can forgive some of the people at C&A for lying to me and letting Jason control me, I know that if they said sorry it wouldn’t erase all that happened over the years. But you, you didn’t know. You were tricked and I know that you meant how sorry you were. That’s the difference that my Dad taught me about, I’ll know the right people to forgive and not to bring myself down with the people I don’t choose to give that right to.”

This kid was just too kind, speaking with a wisdom many people who lived longer on this earth lacked, “Your father sounds like a good man.” Not many people have that luck.  

“Both he and my mother were great people,” Samual’s eyes were warm, lost in a memory of love and comfort from so many years ago. He blinked them away, his face simple yet determined. “Anyways, you got something to show me?”

Riley nodded, slipping back into business, “Yeah, let me introduce you to my Mom. She’s the one who got the messages.”

She led Samual into the house, shutting the door behind him. Amber came into the room, her hands clasped together and a cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. “Oh, hello,” she blinked in surprise at the sight of the boy. She turned to Riley, “Is this Samual?”

“Yeah, this is him,” Riley confirmed.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Amber walked over, wrapping her arms around him, his eyes widening in surprise. “Riley told me what happened, I’m so sorry all this happened to you.”

He stood frozen for a moment, as though he wasn’t used to someone wanting to hug him back. But his arms wrapped tight around Amber like Riley expected, burying his face into her shoulder. He was shaking a bit, she couldn’t hear any sobs but Riley was certain that the kid hadn’t received this level in security in a while. Hopefully with how things were going so far, that would change soon enough. Soon, Samual pulled away, trying to still his shaking hands. “Right, so,” he took a step back, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Ready to get to work?”

Amber nodded, grinning, “This way.” She guided him to the sofa, letting him sit down as the computer switched on next to him. “It was so bizarre. I’m not sure what your experience was like, all I know from Riley was that you only received messages.”

Samual lifted a brow, “I guess yours had more to it.”

“Yes,” Amber confirmed. “Before I got the messages, all my lights were flickering, like something or…someone was controlling it. That’s when I got these.” Once the computer was up and functioning, Amber clicked onto the documents that held the words from her daughter.

Samual shifted closer, “Yeah, this is certainly…different. I only got emails, but it looks like someone wrote this if it’s on a document.”

“That’s the thing,” Amber turned to him. “I don’t know how but Penny was in this room. I couldn’t see or feel how but she was there, controlling the lights and writing to me.”

Samual’s eyes widened, no disbelief was seen but rather surprise at this new revelation, “Your daughter is trying to communicate with you. She even managed to be here with you somehow.”

“Yes, yes!” Amber exclaimed, grinning. “She was right here in this room.”

“But you said not physically?” Riley asked, her tone curious rather than accusatory.  “She managed to speak to you but her body wasn’t here?”

“Unfortunately,” Amber’s face fell slightly.

“So wherever she is, she’s still trapped,” Riley sighed.

Samual got up, facing the two women, “But it doesn’t seem impossible to find her. If she managed to get here the first time than its possible that she could come back.”

Riley bit her lip, “But how would we know?”

“Riley’s right,” Amber agreed. “I might have spoken to her then but I don’t know how to get in contact with her again-”

The lamp flickered, the trio’s attention focused in on it. “I’m guessing that wasn’t my eyes playing tricks on me?” Riley observed, her toes curling at the thought of who she hoped it was.

“Nope,” Amber’s grin returned, whipping back round to the computer. “Penny, is that you baby?”

Hey Mom

I’m back

Riley’s hands covered her mouth, her knees dropping to the ground, “Penny? Is that really you?”

Unbeknownst to Riley, Pomni had done the same thing. Matching her sister as she tried to stifle a sob, “Hey Jax, do you mind?”

The rabbit chuckled behind her, watching the exchange go down. There were no memory-like pathways this time, just a simple walk through the door and they arrived right back in the living room, “Yeah babe, I got it.”

She’s here, she just got a little overwhelmed seeing you all again

Hi Mrs Reed

It’s good to see you again

Amber brows furrowed in confusion for a moment before realisation struck. There was only one other person that she knew who disappeared the way her youngest daughter did, “Jack?”

Yup, that’s me

Hope you’re not too disappointed

The older woman let out a breathless laugh, about to reply with how happy she was to see him…until she was interrupted by another voice, “YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Jax’s ears pressed flat against his head as Riley stood from the ground, fury written all over her face. Pomni, Amber and Samual had to take a few steps away from the raging woman.

“YOU TELL MY SISTER THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO MARRY HER AND TRY TO MOVE AWAY ON THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Riley screamed loudly. “YOU’RE SO LUCKY I CAN’T SEE YOU OTHERWISE I WOULD RIP OFF BOTH YOUR ARMS AND LEGS AND FEED THEM TO WOLVES WHILE WATCHING YOU BLEED OUT!”

Jax gulped, he should have known this was coming. After all he heard from Winter how Riley slammed someone’s head against a table just because they looked at Penny funny, if he wasn’t in the circus he would be on a missing poster by now. He took a deep breath, typing away on the keyboard.

You’re allowed to be angry

Furious

What I did was unforgivable and I understand if you won’t forgive me

But please understand then when I say sorry, I mean it

I’m so sorry Riley

For hurting your sister the way I did

For everything

Riley crossed her arms as she scowled, letting herself think long and hard about it, emphasise on long (she wanted to make him suffer at least a little bit). Jack was an asshole for what he did, but she knew what he went through as a kid and how hard he tried to make things right both for himself and for everyone else. She looked to Samual, the boy giving her a smile and a thumbs up before she turned back with a sigh, “Thank you for your apology.”

Jax’s stomach did a flip. There was a thank you, but no forgiveness. It was expected, a bit disappointing, but also a good start.

You’re welcome

Riley’s face turned soft again, shifting her feet on the rug below her, “Penny, are you…can you speak to me?”

Pomni clenched her hands, grinning and trembling with excitement as she rushed over to the computer.

Hey Riles

Please don’t kill Jack when we get back

Riley sniffed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “I’ll try not to, but I’ll do it for you Pen. Oh my god I missed you so much.”

Pomni bit back her sob, if she missed her mother so much already, then the weight of missing Riley hit like a bag of bricks.

I missed you too

You’re making me cry Riles

“I can’t help it,” Riley laughed. “You’ve been gone for three months.”

I know

You have no idea how much I wanna hug you all – Penny (did that so you can tell who you’re talking to)

Jax hummed, amused by her quick choice, “Smart.”

She gave the rabbit a quick grin before she turned her gaze to the boy in the living room, tilting her head curiously.

Who’s that guy?

Jax followed her gaze, letting out a small gasp of realisation at who it was, “Samual Abel?!”

“Wait, you mean-?” she realised now who he was talking about.

“Penny, Jack,” Riley walked over to the boy. “This is Samual Abel, son of Kaleb and Quinn Abel. He’s gonna be helping us get you home.”

“Uh, yeah,” Samual replied nervously. “Hi again Mister Jack, nice to meet you Miss Penny. Um, I’m really sorry I couldn’t do more for you when Jason came up to you that day Jack.”

Jax frowned as his fingers reach for the keyboard again.

It was nobody’s fault but my own kid

I was the one who took up Jason’s offer

Don’t beat yourself up about it – Jack

“Copycat,” Pomni stuck her tongue out at him.

Jax chuckled, “Couldn’t help it little lady,”

“But I should have done something!” Samual stood so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. “Jason always does this! He knows it’s dangerous when people touch that stupid game! The moment he said where he was sending you I knew what job he was talking about! I could have stopped all this!”

Riley faced the boy, confused, “Game? What game?”

“That fucking game!” he cursed. “It’s been the root of all of our problems yet he never got rid of it! It started small with people disappearing in the company with headsets left behind, but then it started spreading somehow to the public! And now we lost the file! It keeps jumping from place to place and we can never catch it! All because Jason was too stubborn to get rid of it!”

“Sam, Sam, hey,” Riley clicked her fingers in front of his face, his attention solely focused on her. “What game are you talking about.”

Samual’s buried his face into his hands, a stressed groan leaving his mouth, “It was supposed to be a VR remake of the first game my dad made, but Jason kept making too many shaky choices with it. Then my parents disappeared. I hate that game… ‘The Amazing Digital Circus’.”

Pomni gasped, “That was the game I saw when I tried to find you!” She turned to Jax, “We’re stuck inside the game!”

“I-I remember!” Jax clenched his hands. “When I disappeared! That was the file I saw!”

It fell on deaf ears. “The reason why Jason wanted to send Jack away was because that was where the last person went missing, the last time we saw the file,” Samual told them. “He wanted to send Jack there as a way to retrieve the file and get back to working on the game again, even if he knew it wasn’t safe. Unfortunately the file routed its way back to this city and took Jack with him.”

“And then it took Penny,” Amber whispered.

“Okay,” Riley gathered herself, her mind settling back into business. “Jason sent Jack away and lied to everyone for all these years. That wasn’t your fault Samual.”

“But I-” he tried to speak.

“You told me that whenever you tried to speak up to talk to someone then Jason would get in the way and scare you into stopping,” she stated firmly. “Don’t blame yourself because a grown man was enough of a coward to bully a child.”

He looked like he was about to retort, but a stern glare from Riley was all that he needed to heed what she said, “Ok Miss Riley.”

“Next,” she moved on. “What should be our second course of action.”

Pomni quickly moved back to the computer.

No one else in the circus has their memories

Is there a way we can try and help them get them back? – Penny

“Oh, oh wait!” Samual piped up, an idea bright in his mind. “I overheard Jason talking about this. He has USB files of each person that went missing, including their past leading up to this point.”

“You overhear a lot of stuff kid,” Riley crossed her arms. “I didn’t mean that as a criticism, just observing.”

“Hehe, well, when you’ve been isolated from everyone and everything all your life you tend to get a bit bored,” Samual replied with a wry smile. “Case in point, eavesdropping on the guy you’re suspicious off in order to gather information.”

“So if we get the USB files and hook them into this computer,” Amber started to catch on.

“It could help get their memories back,” Samual finished. “I’ll get to see if my parents are there!”

“This is amazing!” Amber cheered. “Well, not fully amazing because their all still stuck but we’re getting somewhere. Oh wait till Winter hears about Jack being alive!”

A wide grin appeared on Jax’s face. Winter, his sister, he could finally see her again! Reassure her that he was alive-

“-Wait! No, no!” Riley quickly interjected, making everyone become quickly confused at her sudden outburst. “We can’t tell Winter, not yet at least.”

Amber blinked in surprise, “Honey, she’s your wife. She’s been missing Jack for so long, she needs to know the truth.”

Pomni watched as Jax’s ear twitch, a slight scowl was on his face. He didn’t like this one bit.

 “I know that,” Riley said. “But you weren’t there when Jack was gone. She went nearly catatonic, unable to move, speak or eat. The devastation of losing him for so long nearly broke her. We nearly lost Percy in birth because of the impact. I…I can’t risk that happening again.”

A slow, angered breath released through Jax’s nose as he started to type again.

This is a mistake Riley

Winter deserves to know

You can’t keep this from her – Jack

Riley shook her head, “I’m doing this to protect her. It’s for her own good Jack.”

He wasn’t convinced, turning away from her. Riley shouldn’t have to make that choice for Winter, it wasn’t fair! She needed to know, not be kept in the dark!

Pomni patted his hand softly as she went to the keyboard.

But he’s right Riley – Penny

“I’ll tell her eventually,” Riley reassured everyone. “J-just not now, until I know for sure that everything will be fine.”

Pomni sighed. Riley was as stubborn as they came, there was no changing her mind with this.

Both rabbit and jester jumped when they heard the dinner bell ringing from outside the exit door. It was time to go.

We have to leave

You better know what you’re doing Riley – Penny

“What? But you just came back!” Riley cried.

Amber put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. If this interaction has proved anything, they’ll be back.”

Riley was unconvinced, but if there was anyone she trusted more than anything, it was her mother. “Ok,” she nodded, “Just…please be safe Penny.”

I will

And like that, both rabbit and jester rushed out the door. They were able to make it on dinner on time, and Caine was none the wiser about what happened. But despite the feast laid out in front of him, everything that Riley said left a bitter taste in Jax’s mouth. After Penny, Winter was the one he was closest to out of anyone in his life. He might not have been the greatest person, but Winter was the furthest thing from bad. She was the reason that he started to believe that good things could happen in his life, and now Riley was refusing to tell her that he was here and alive.

It felt so wrong.

Pomni’s hand was on his leg, still yet reassuring. It was a silent confirmation that she was on his side about this. He laid his hand atop hers, making sure it was out of Caine’s sight. He squeezed it, hopefully things would be okay…they had to be.

.

.

.

“Riley…”

Black, everything was black.

“Riley…”

It was like she was stuck in inky tar, unable to move her feet, stuck in the black substance.

“Riley.”

She looked up, the redhead gasped as she saw one very familiar, visible figure.

“Penny?” Riley’s voice sounded louder in her ears.

The brunette was wearing the same outfit Riley had last seen her in, a plain white T-shirt and grey leggings. Though it looked dirtier than she last remembered, and why were her eyes shut?

“Why did you leave me?” Penny’s voice echoed.

Riley was startled by the sudden statement, “What?”

“You’re my big sister,” Penny mumbled. “You’re supposed to protect me…yet you didn’t.”

“No, Penny I didn’t mean for you to get trapped!” Riley yelled out for her. “I’m doing everything I can to bring you home!”

“You said you would always be there for me,” Penny whispered back. “You said that no matter what happens I would be safe if you were there…but you weren’t…you didn’t save me…you’re a liar.”

“I’m so sorry Penny,” Riley sobbed, hands on her leg as she tried to pull them out, but to no avail. “I’m really sorry!”

“Liar,” Penny repeated.

“Liar!”

“LIAR!”

“L̷̩͚̯̲̖͖̙͔̹̬̮͉̲̝̑̊̀́ͅỈ̸̢̹̝̝͓͔̟̠̌́́̆͝Á̵̬͎͛̐̑̔̃̈́̓R̶̳̪̩̹̳̬̻̜̫͇̓̏̀͐͒͂̚͠͝͝”

Riley gasped, trying to run but she was frozen solid in the ink. Suddenly, the darkness was replaced by thousands of multicoloured eyes staring at her as Penny drew closer.

The brunette grabbed Riley by the collar of her shirt. It was nothing but silence.

Then her eyes opened.

Riley screamed when she saw that they were as hollow and black as the ink.

Penny opened her mouth again, the same ink leaking out from her lips as she screeched one more time.

Ļ̷̨̛͚̙̭̖̩̥̝͇̮̻̼͍͎̗͉͍̦͖̹͎͔͈̞̰̟̯̩̝̠̻̫͕̱̝̎͊̽̈́̇̀͊̄̑͋̅͊̔̄͒̃̀͌̈́̏̈͆͐̋̓͐̾͛̊̈́̈́́̏̋̀̄̏̈̚̚͘͘̕̕͠ͅÌ̶̧̧̧̛̛̪͔̝͚̫͎̝̬͈̺̫̭̱̞̹͖̞̹̳̻͖̫͉̋̓͋̈́̓͂͗͐̈́̐̈͐̒͗͆̏͛̈̏͌͗͑̈́̐͐̔̂̊͊́͆͆̒̓̾̀̀̾͘̚̕̕̚͜͝ͅͅA̷̢̧̛̛̻̳̞̬̟͇̟̟͉͔̻̻͙̩̣͈̖̘͙̪̱͎̰͙̝͚̣͈̓͒̎͛̆̓̋͌̅̈́͂̏̎̈́̅̍̈̈́̆̕͜͝͠͝ͅR̴̡͈̞͔̮̻̩͋͂͑̚ͅ

.

.

.

Riley awoke with a scream tearing from her throat, her hands fisting the bed sheets beneath her. She failed her, she failed Penny, she couldn’t save her, she was nothing but a failure-

“Riley, Riley!” Winter reached out, taking her wife’s hands in hers. “It’s okay, see, everything is ok.”

Riley was still trembling, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Breathe with me babe,” Winter told her, taking deep breaths in and out again. Riley gulped down a sob, repeating her wife’s pattern. Eventually, she breath was even again and she was calm enough to see her surroundings. There was no ink, no eyes. She was in her bedroom with Winter as the other woman turned the lamp on beside the bed. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.”

She was about to bring Riley back into her arms, before the redhead pulled away and stood up, “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll go sleep in the guest room, to let you rest before work.”

“No, wait, Riley!” Winter shouted as her partner gathered up her pillow and a spare blanket. “I just wanna talk, you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to get some sleep before work, alright? Conversation over,” Riley stated, gathering what she needed in her arms before marching to the door.

“Riley enough!” Winter yelled, making Riley freeze in her tracks still facing the door. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?” she retorted bitterly.

“You avoiding me,” Winter told her. “Especially when you’re hurting. You can’t keep pretending that I don’t exist just because you’re too scared to talk about Penny.”

Riley bit her tongue, nearly drawing blood, “I’m not scared Winter. Stop it.”

“Where were you last night?” Winter questioned, unrelenting. “Yesterday you wouldn’t answer your phone after I tried calling you for hours. Where were you?”

Riley couldn’t say, she couldn’t. If Winter was told about Jack, she feared about what could happen. She still remembered Winter’s pale face, nearly slipping in and out of consciousness during Percy’s C-section. She nearly lost both her wife and her son that day. She couldn’t tell her, it’s for her own good.

“My mom’s house, my phone was on silent,” she said, her voice void of emotion. “I’m tired.”

She slammed the door behind her, leaving Winter all alone. The black-haired woman brought her knees to her chest, too exhausted to cry. Too tired to keep having these moments with Riley. She would give anything just to have her wife back.

.

.

.

“Well good morning little lady,” Jax bowed as he walked out of his room the next morning. “And how was your sleep last night?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be subtle?” Pomni placed her hands on her hips. “Cause as far as I can’t tell, I don’t think this is what it’s supposed to be.”

“But it made you smile, right?” he smirked.

Pomni blushed, he was right, she was smiling, “Shut up.”

He chuckled, nudging his head to the direction down the hallway, “Hungry?”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Pomni nodded. She was about to walk beside him when she noticed something in the corner of a door from one of the past circus members. She cocked her head to the side as she inspected it further.

Jax paused in his tracks when he noticed that his fiancé wasn’t next to him, “Pen?” He saw her staring at the door of an old string-worm character, coming up behind her carefully so he wouldn’t spook her. “What is it?”

“Do you see that?” she inquired.

“See what?” he asked.

She pointed to the corner, “That.”

Jax’s eyes squinted as he followed her fingers, they widened when they finally noticed what Pomni was talking about. The corner was glitching, similar to how Ragatha was when Kaufmo attacked her on the jester’s first day. “How is this possible?” Pomni observed.

“I…I don’t know,” Jax replied honestly. “I don’t think we’ve seen anything like this.”

Suddenly, the glitch sparked wildly and loudly, making them jump back in surprise. It started to spread across the door, erasing the face of the string worm with its flashing colours. Jax held Pomni protectively, guiding her away from the door as they stepped away slowly. They watched as little by little, it swallowed up the door, before disappearing entirely.

Both of them panted in surprise, this wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. “I think we need to hurry with our escape plan,” Pomni told the rabbit holding her.

“Agreed,” Jax nodded. “We’re on a timer Pomni.”

“The question is how long do we have?” her voice shook slightly, gripping onto him.

“Long enough for us to get out of here,” he told her, reassurance in his voice. “That much I know.”

“O-okay,” Pomni hated that she was stuttering, but the sudden fright of what happened didn’t seem to be letting go of her anytime soon.

“Come on, let’s get downstairs before Caine tries to find us,” Jax stood, holding out his hand and helping up the jester.

While the two walked down the hallway, they couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling of what just happened. Did they really not have enough time? Was it just another strange part of this world?

Those questions rung through their mind as they walked down the hall, unaware of a second little glitch behind them in another little corner of the hall.

[painting-warhammer]

Callidus Assassin in the style of Ann Takamaki/Panther (Persona 5)

My personal best miniature paint job yet! At least, it's a personal best to me. Still plenty of flaws! Commentary under cut.

This is where a lot of what I'd learned really started coming together! A lot of Warhammer and painting channels will talk a lot about edge highlighting and it's pretty important to be sure, but a YouTuber named Ninjon broke it down in a way where I understand how and where to do it. Namely, you're supposed to think about light sources. I did that for Ann's hair and her boots; the undersides have their darker shades, but anything from topside is very bright.

The next big change was learning Ardcoat. With my Sylvanas figure, I completely fucked that one up, but with Ann I definitely put a fun candy gloss on top of the Baal Red contrast and the boots after I edge-highlighted. True, I could have added those highlights in a risky attempt to recreate a lycra effect, but as Ann already sorta sneaks around and is constantly mobile, I thought it would sell the illusion to have the lights move with her rather than make a single stationary reflection pattern.

The pink gloves were almost a disaster; I got a cheap, super viscous acrylic that made this lumpy gel as I painted, but after some trial and error I got it to cooperate.

The basing is still touch and go. I genuinely did try to edge highlight the bullet decals and the rocks, honest; I was actually hyped because I wanted to make it the stylish red, white, and black that Persona 5 is famous for. But in the end it came off as looking unpainted when I added whiter highlights, so I just doused the whole thing in Black Legion contrast.

The base was a happy accident. It's not how I initially wanted it. I put Mordant Earth down, thinking I would flow some red shader through to make a weird lava-ish effect that had the bright red of Persona 5 again, but they just mushed together to make this weird mud. A bummer, but it did teach me how to make mud in the future!

And the base. Yeah you're supposed to put black on the rims, but I had to go for style.

Overall, I just feel proud of this one, whether or not I should. I'm always glad when I get to use a color scheme completely different from canon or at the very least different from the on-the-box demo artwork.

The boots were me flying blind, and admittedly on Ann/Panther herself, they're a slightly darker red rather than an outright purple, but I thought purple was a bit more dynamic and I did it for the belt and various other straps as well.

I'll admit I had no good ideas for the poisoned needles, I just doused them in Barak-Nar Burgundy and moved on. The guns and sword I had an idea for, I was going to go for implying they were a polymorphed Morgana, but it just didn't seem interesting. I definitely just half-assed them, but I think it's fine given I wanted the attention on Ann herself. So even the weapons, something I struggle with to make interesting, turned out okay, I think. I got 'em done and moved on.

A small detail I thought was fun: the goggles. I made them Ann's specific eye color! I think they stand out pretty well on the overall model and they don't clash with anything.

Also, Baharroth Blue is the color I love/use way too much, and if it's not on my figure somehow then is it really complete? I think not. 😜

This isn't my favorite figure, but it's the one I pull out when I want to flex a little. I still got one more where it's from a media franchise to go before I post my main army. It's not going to be as good as Ann, but then again I don't know if I'd call it finished per se. Until then!

[toffeebrew]

Ink sans headcanons!

Disclaimer: I don't claim anything to be canon. Although, I tried to make sure it didn't conflict with canon for the most part. Erm, I also didn't check the tag before I made this, so of any these are canon/popular hcs i didn't know before making this.

Ink has something similar to a bag of holding tied to his belt. He picks up little trinkets in the aus he visits (something small, of course, like a flower!) It can hold an endless amount of objects. It also stands as as way of reminding him of where hes been and who he's met! he puts any gifts he gets there as well.

He has this weird ability that if you point at something he knows the exact hex code and color name it is. Why? Not even he knows, but it may be a creator giving him knowledge somehow thing.

For his paints? They all taste a little different. They taste like, something? But the exact flavor is so vague it's "hard for him to describe". If anything, they taste like a whole bunch of flavors at once. A little overwhelming to the palate. They all differ in sensation as well, fizzy, smooth, milky etc.

(more yapping under the cut)

Consistency wise, they both smell and have the thickness of acrylic paint. Specifically that kinda watery acrylic paint you can get for cheap at a store (like apple barrel).

Each of his vials has three dosages. One vial is like daily usage. But they can sometimes run out unevenly depending on how bad/good that day is (ex: on an extremely bad day, he has to take more of a positive emotions) so he had extra markings to "top off". Given there's no consistent time frame hes in, he just takes them whenever he wakes up. [ note: this particular headcanon was partially inspired by @/the-local-eldritch-microwave headcanon lol ↓]

He can actually last maybe about few days without his vials, but his emotions just become duller after 24-48 hrs. Taking a sharp decline after about 72 hrs. Their mobility and mental health declines with it as well, so he'd rather not wait for the decline to start! haha unless he got stuck in some situation where he had no choice!!! :D haha

He tried chugging all his vials at once for experimentation! He vomited everywhere. He'll not be attempting that again. Too much at once...

He has a reallllyyyy long scarf so he has enough room for all of his notes. It drags behind him and also dramatically blows behind him when there's a draft. It tracks stuff in it, due to its length. The bottom of his scarf is all colorful because of all the crap hes tracked in it! LOL

If he ever needed it, he'd add more fabric to the end for more notes. I guess eventually it would get cartoonishy long. At least, until it became completely impossible to manage.

On that topic, hes actually quite messy. Although, its more in a "organized chaos" sorta way. He knows where everything is, even if you don't. hes also MESSY not dirty very clear distinction!

In my mind the reason Ink would have a gap tooth in my version is when he was a "sketch" his teeth were more uh implied? So when he's born (how the hell would you word that? conceived? idk) he now has a permanent gap tooth.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapters #00-01

all | next

lets fucking do this

I'm annotating every chapter of trigun, both the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read). Literally just writing down everything I notice about details, version differences, translation notes, etc. and also being gay about the characters. happy pride month

I had other stuff to do today yesterday so I only got through a little bit but pace will pick up tomorrow today (1 volume/week is faster than i thought...)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And there are just so many annotation images so I just put the rest under the cut <3 read my notes boy

[edit: why aren't the images not being side by side like i want them to i hate this. here's the url for my blog page with correct formatting] [edit 2: i guess it's only on desktop, not on mobile. so that's good]

First thing I noticed was the difference in the number of volumes, or the number of chapters in each volume. In my JP copy, volume 1 ends at Chapter #07: Rem, while Overhaul (and I assume every version after the first JP print) ends at #12: River of Life.

Anyways onto the actual images

21st of July - !! didn't notice [that the July incident actually happened in July] during 1st read b/c months are only numbers in Japanese 11 hours after destruction - July incident was 2am

For some reason I thought he was standing this whole time. unneccesary details georg

Estimated age: 24 - Official age for his appearance? dang he's young Appearance - "Place of origin/birth," not "what he looks like" The worst kind of outlaw, and an unrivalled killer. - Added in a later version? (not in my JP copy but the phrase is familiar)

This blank space originally had the Japanese translation for the board.

We see his serious expression already! I don't remember '98 doing so this early on so it's pretty notable to me...

Just thinking about how Vash counted each individual gunshot being fired during all that chaos... dear god.... During my first read/watch I thought it was just silly Rule of Cool protagonist moment but not really. This guy actually has Insane perception, either from being a plant or sheer practice. Or both.

Also immediately after all that, I really love the way the aftermath is shown here. The only things you can hear are the creaks of the light and the crying boy. It really brings out the tension in the atmosphere.

Finally, something other than unneccesary bits! If you look at the flooring under the toy gun, the perspective lines are pointing SW-NE. This corresponds to the flooring on Vash's right, whose right arm is also suspiciously out-of-frame... This is definitely the moment he took the toy gun. I can't express the amount of Holy Shit I felt when I realized this. The detail!!!!! man!!!!!!!!!

There's a little translation error here - it should be something like "Even if he were still alive, he wouldn't be able to move an inch!"

One of my favorite Vash moves with one of my favorite Tumblr heritage posts.

This is not really based on any drawn details, but I think this is the moment that Vash readies the toy gun, puts it in his pocket, and picks up the ketchup. Do Not trust this man when his arm is not visible. Also finger still in gun <3 doing his part blocking one bullet at a time

And here we have Vash's first COOL cool moment!!!!!! cue my homo screaming. goddddddddd im so mentally unwell about him. agh I also absolutely love when Nightow does that thing where he screen-tones a character's skin just because. It pops!! It's unique!! I love it!! I eat it up every time!!!

Here's where I realize that Vash's hair antennae are pointing straight up. I should be on the lookout for when he makes the transition to the M-shaped antennae we know and love.

Also, a little untranslatable joke from the Japanese version. In Japanese, this guy calls out at Vash like "And you, don't provoke him!" except it's written with the kanji for "Hunter" (狩人 karyūdo), with a ruby pronunciation note saying "you" (おまえも omaemo). These kanji/ruby mismatch jokes are never not funny and it's so sad that there's no way to keep them in without doing...this lol

The "I counted!" reveal never fails to get me. holy shit. I love the little boy's expression when he gets his gun back :) You helped!!! and you don't have to have the real deal to be cool as balls!!!

Just lumping this with the previous two because it's a tall image, but another small translation error. Rather than being about doing harm, he's talking about recieving it (～～はゴメンだ is a hard-to-catch phrasing/idiom; it's already been discussed with the translator on a different instance). It should be more like "[...But] nobody likes getting hurt, right?"

THE GIRLIES YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not including the dialogue because. y'know. At least they get (accidentally) Bonked by Millie :) get their asses

Here, the order suggestion is made by somebody off-screen, but in the first edition, it was made by the cook himself. (left image annotation says "the storekeeper(cook) is so nice!")

That's it for chapters #00-01! I'm going to keep having Category 5 Autism Events every day aren't I.

It's literally 1:20am as of finishing this post because my computer won't stop crashing. Posting this first thing in the morning tomorrow <3

Also, the Japanese copy of the annotations will be in the reblogs for anyone who wants to see them. The emotions are Rawer and they're phrased way less awkwardly... if you can read them lol

[contentloadingandstuff]

Keqing NSFW Headcanons? If you're taking requests ^^

NSFW Headcanons - Keqing & Yoimiya

A/N: Hello anons! Thank you for your requests, and as always, I hope you enjoy. Also, I'm posting this from mobile (god I hate it so much), so it may come out funny-looking.

CW: Male!Reader, Sub!Keqing, Sub!Yoimiya, masochism and bdsm stuff (like whipping and spanking).

Nsfw under the cut, if mobile will allow it.

Keqing

She is known for her one-track mind and stellar work ethic, but even the greatest of minds will sometimes get distracted. When she finds her hand messing around under her skirt or the heat pooling in her stomach to be too much to handle on her own - that’s where you come into play. 

It might be hard to believe, but Keqing is an actual human with human needs.

But she is still a busy woman, so quickies will be the more common sessions. You know, to get her mind straight. But you'll get to enjoy longer sessions as well. 

When she was alone, Keqing had to use toys to satisfy her urges, and she collected a lot of them over the years. 

In her secret box of fun you will find dildos of various shapes, sizes and materials (she even has a tentacle-shaped one!), butt plugs, grinders, vibrators and nipple clamps. She will obviously purchase new ones once you start fucking. 

Those new acquisitions will include mainly cuffs, collars, whips and paddles - anything to help you turn her into a whining, abused mess. 

You see, Keqing is absolutely the dominant one in your relationship, but she assumes a very submissive and obedient role in bed. 

All of those distractions of body and mind are best removed with some merciless abuse of her bound form. 

You established a list of things you can and can't do to each other. Aside from the obvious, Keqing doesn't want to get any hickeys or bruises on her neck or face. Talking about what's happening in the bed outside the privacy of your own home is strictly prohibited as well. 

Because if anyone was to hear about the kinky shit she indulges in, her reputation would be ruined. 

Oh, and DO NOT cum inside. Ever.

The woman lets go of all the appearances and facades she puts up. You'll get to hear her whine, beg and cry without a care in the world. 

Keqing is a masochist, as pain is nearly as powerful of a stimulant as pleasure for her. To make sure she enjoys every session, she created a set of rules for you to follow. 

Rule 1: Go all out on her pussy and ass, no matter how loud her screaming may be. At most she'll pass out, but don't let that stop you. If anything, that will let you enjoy her holes in peace and quiet. 

Rule 2: Care only about the safe word. Don't listen to any of her screaming, pleading, calling for help or crying. 

Speaking of… Rule 3: Make her weep. Doesn't matter if it is from immense pain, unbearable pleasure or extreme emotions - if she cried, the session was a good one. 

And how to break her up to that point? Simple - spanking, whipping, edging or post orgasm will do. 

Before you do anal, Keqing wants a proper preperation. That means a thorough spanking and a small, dry dildo that will rough up her tight hole nicely. When you finally enter her, lubed up just enough for you (and only you) to be comfortable, she'll probably cry out in pain. You might want to stuff her soaked panties down her throat to keep neighbours from complaining. 

You can whip her tits, back or ass cheeks until first blood (or the safeword ofc). Keqing loves it when you are cruel, and pull out the single strand whip. Especially against her soft ass. 

A leather whip assaulting her butt + an anal hook (dry of course) to keep her bent over + a bullet vibe strapped to her clit, on the highest setting + a spreader bar + a blindfold = a very happy Keqing. It takes a lot of time to set up, but the pay off is immense. 

When the smoke clears and the dust settles, Keqing will want to do lots of aftercare. Not for her, tho. 

She understands that hurting her might make you feel awful sometimes, even if you're into it. She will tell you that all of it was consensual, and she really enjoyed all of it. Keqing will assure you that nothing you said or did to her will affect your relationship outside of sex in any negative way. 

Okay, now that she assured you… can you pass the aloe balm? She can't really get up… 

You're quite good at it, and her body needs a few days to recover. When it does… you'll indulge her again, won't you? 

"I c-can't… a-anymore - AH! - I-I… m-m-mercy, please!"

Yoimiya

Yoimiya lives to have fun and relax. Whether it be making fireworks, playing with kids, or banging - the girl will pursue whatever makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Once she knows you're comfortable with physical intimacy, she'll get handsy pretty quick. 

Yoimiya always liked physical contact, so she'll always want to have your hand on her, or vice versa. She enjoys your body, and shows it with a lot of touching. It will be tame in public, just holding your waist or forearm. But when the doors close, she'll be all over you. 

Not one part above your knees will be left neglected. Yoimiya will play with and lick or suck every inch of skin she gets access to, with special emphasis on your chest and stomach. She especially loves teasing your nipples and watching you gasp in pleasure. 

Your cock will be enveloped by her warm throat with little to no delay. Yoi will throat you until she runs out of breath. While she recovers, her tongue will keep your head happy with some slow frenulum licks, all while she looks you in the eyes. But once her breath is back, she's diving right back in. 

When you push them down for some throat fucking, most girls would desperately search for something to hold on to. Yoimiya is not like most girls. She'll keep her hands neatly tucked away under her ass like the good girl she is, letting you do whatever you want to her. 

Good girl? No. Yoimiya is the best girl. 

She likes bondage quite a lot, but, to be fair, you don't really need to tie her down at any point. She is really obedient, obeying whatever order you give her. Stay? Sit? Suck? Bend over? She is on the case!

That said, she has an unusual little quirk to her. For her, touching your bodies (or even using your mouths) or binding her is not inherently sexual. 

She likes when you massage her boobs while cuddling, or suck her nipples to sleep. These areas are sensitive, but they aren't immediately arousing if she's not thinking about it. 

Yoimiya finds comfort in being tied up. She feels very secure in your presence. The girl likes to nap with her hands cuffed or tied, head resting on your lap while you do your thing (read a book, watch TV or go through your phone). 

Most people subconsciously hold or touch their intimate areas when they feel safe*, but Yoi takes it a step further. She likes holding your balls whenever you cuddle or sleep. Sure, it was distracting at first, but after a few months of this you got used to her touch. 

Yoimiya just loves the fact that you let her hold and touch your most intimate and precious bit. It really makes her heart flutter when she lies next to your relaxed form, nuts in her gentle grip. 

She feels that there's little need for toys when there's a rock-hard, thick cock to keep her busy. 

Daddy kink for sure. If you're not comfortable with being called that, she'll use other honorifics, most prominently 'sir'. 

Yoimiya pretty much won the genetic lottery with her body. Her entire flesh is soft, and her skin is very pleasant to touch. She has a pair of sizable, squeezable tits, a medium but round butt and meaty thighs. Her pussy has plumper outer lips that press so nicely against your cheeks when you go down on her. 

Whether it be with oral, vaginal, anal, thigh jobs, tit fucks or hotdogging - she hopes you use all of her assets well! 

Her favorite position? Anything, really. As long as you can see each others' faces. There is nothing hotter than seeing you panting, mouth agape and completely entranced with her wet hole. She likes to keep that delicious eye contact as well!

Yoi keeps her pussy neat and clean, but she likes to see a trimmed bush of hair on your manhood. It feels really nice to nuzzle into while you're balls-deep in her throat. 

"I need your cock, daddy! Please fuck me! Please please please please please!"

* It has been scientifically proven that fondling with these areas (beasts for women, testicles for men) releases a hormone known as oxitocine, which is responsible for relaxing the body. It also releases while sleeping or cuddling.

Quite the fun fact, isn't it?

Thanks for reading!

[teeth--thief]

Photos of Lyonyd (Leonid?…) Toptunov? I wouldn’t mind rambling on him, also.

- Rodka

I deliberately saved this ask for last (sort of). As a treat for myself and as a threat for everyone else ♡ And for @ur-favorite-basil-enthusiast since he was also interested in seeing The Collection.

I'll have to split this into a few parts - dreaful, I know! - because I can only add 10 pictures to one post while on mobile =( I'll keep reblogging with additional pictures till I run out of things to share. Subscribe for more insane content in the future and don't forget to click that bell icon to...

Part 1

He had manifested to me in a dream when I first started researching Chernobyl, have I ever mentioned that? Well, he has. Which was truly an anomaly because I almost never have any dreams at all... but about that some other time, perhaps.

I am going to put the pictures of him under the cut so nobody gets jumpscared by my Collection of Five Billion White Guy Pictures. And I'll also include some relevant information! Or as relevant as I can make it, at least.

Just to be clear (and safe): I found all of these out in the wild, on da internet. I am, however, pretty sure that at least the collage of his pics from uni times is from @/toptunovleonid on Instagram. So, just to be very clear: all credit for at least that goes to her.

Semi-chronologically, his pictures go like this:

Ignoring that one picture that is barely visible and out of frame in a few pictures of the photo album it's in, because he looks about 10 there and I feel slightly weird about sharing it specifically.

We're in... Tallinn, middle school number 11!

Second boy from the left in the second picture is him. That is he. He who was 15 then. And a 16 year old Lyonya in the left picture, of course.

From this time, one of his classmates remembers him as follows: At school he was quiet, unnoticeable, very shy. I remember he was always hanging out with younger kids. He was chubby. They'd now say he was a "nerd". Alright, we get it, he was a sweet child... Teen? Both? Or was he like this all his life? Either way, please stop before I die from all that sugar...

He's (10th grade) the guy leading the little girl (1st grade). His shapeless hair has charmed me. What's his hair routine and will it work on my curls? Mhm, didn't think so. And first in the second row from the bottom in the small pictures, in case you can't recognise his face yet.

As a bonus - his school certificate from the school in Tallinn he attended until graduating in 1977:

The grades were from 2 (you didn't pass with that one, so that's an F) to 5 (an A, I suppose?). So as you can see, he certainly studied well. What a nerd (affectionately).

Uni territory now! Moscow calling 📞 or, rather, Obninsk and the MEPhI

If you weren't born in any of the USSR countries during The Soviet Times, it'll come as a surprise to you but the students had mandatory... field... work... classes...? if you can call them that. They had them digging potatoes and what not. Nothing screams socialist spirit like making uni students do free labour in the field, I guess?

Pictures with his uni girlfriend, how cuuute! (And Sasha Korol hanging from the roof in the background... for reasons unknown)

Lyonya pretending to drive a combine harvester. And next to him, obviously, Sasha Korol. When I first saw this picture, I thought he was on some kind of a scaffolding but alas - it's one of those old beasts, like our Bizon. But that's not a Bizon because those had roofs. Nobody here cares for USSR combines talk - not even me - let's move on.

Not too sure when these two are from but they look uni enough to me - probably from the very beginning and sometime closer to the end, judging by his stache doing significantly better...

Mandatory military service because a REAL MAN in the USSR needed to know how to shoot a gun, obviously. Even when that meant military service interrupted your uni for a short while. I say that as if no other countries before or after had mandatory army time... don't question it, I'm doing a bit.

Lyonya is second in top row in the picture on the left and third from the left in the top row in the other pic. Korol is there, too, he's fourth from the left in the top row in the first picture and second from the right in the bottom row in the other picture.

[arobutchsab]

hey there!! i hope you don't mind the random question, but where did you get your wrist strap/tether for your cane? i've been needing to get one and yours looks very sturdy/comfortable :)

additionally, do you have any cane advice in general? i've been using mine for several months but i'm still getting the hang of things ♡

i really love your fashion!! it's so nice to see another masc queer person who uses a cane, i admire how you make it look so seamless as part of your looks while not skimping on accessibility! ♡

first of all 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

it's so lovely to hear from someone else who uses a cane and know I've been somewhat a familiar face to you! (ironic seeing as I don't show my face here hehe). its wonderful to know someone else appreciates my fashion. advice under the cut!

I ordered a pretty cheap wrist strap, I'll put the link here, but I actually had to adjust it to my wrist size so it can stay secure on my wrist. I did it with a cross stitch but you might be able to find ones that come already adjustable.

my generic advice may be obvious. use the cane on the opposite side to your bad leg, make sure it's the right height for you, get one with a gel handle if you struggle with wrist pain. remember to wash your handle and check when your ferrule (little rubber foot) needs replacing.

my emotional advice is this: take up space. use the priority seating on the bus or train. it's for you. sit down when you're in pain. remember you look punk as fuck. your stick will give you solidarity with other stick users. some people will be assholes about it. it is in your best interests to ignore them, but this can also be hard, so give yourself grace.

and other cool trans genderfucky queer people: please post your canes. I am always overjoyed to learn one of my moots is a fellow cane user.

thank you so very much for your ask <3

[bonefall]

just read that briarlight from your rewrite doesn't only have her thing with Millie and her inappropriate behaviour (at least from what I got) BUT also has strained relationship with graystripe,which I think is interesting concept 👀 could we get more detail on that ?

Sure thing! I don't plan to completely eliminate Millie's inappropriate behavior, but her abelism is treated as abelism by the narrative.

Graystripe is not allowed to get off blameless here; he should have protected his daughter. But he didn't. Briarlight has complicated feelings towards the fact that her dad didn't help her when she really needed him.

I actually really like Graystripe as a character so this matters a lot to me; the narrative treats him like he's a perfect being when he's an extremely complex guy. Graystripe does what he wants to do, and is a passionate and loyal person, but how would he decide between telling his mate to back off, and protecting his daughter?

I don't think he can decide. Siding with one could mean losing the other, and after what he's lost, he can't do that. So instead he does nothing, trying to play 'Both Sides', and just ends up alienating both.

Briarlight

Around the time of Bramblestar's Storm, ThunderClan is working on a better mobility device for her that will allow her to get out of camp, on more types of uneven terrain. I plan for Jessie to actually be the one who finally figures this out, a proper kitty cat genius of engineering, using that blanket they salvaged to help prevent chafing.

Here is a mouse drawing in paint lmao, it is a modified version of @cryptidclaw's Briarlight design, which I asked for their permission to use!

[ID: A drawing of a paraplegic cat, Briarlight, from Warrior Cats. She has a furry 'mullet' mane and a mobility device in three colors. There are green rings around the neck, hips, tail and back legs labelled 1, a blue blanket stretched over the belly labelled 2, and a red bark sled under the immobile legs marked 3]

The rings are made of twine of some sort, with the blanket sewn into the ones on the neck and legs, with the ones on the hips looping around the sides of the bark sled

The blanket prevents thorns and rocks from scratching her body; very important because if they were caught under her legs, she would not feel the pain to know it needs to be removed else cause infection

The bark sled is the only part that touches the ground, to prevent wear to the blanket and prevent it from getting ripped up too quickly. (oops I drew it too short lmao it should reach as far back as the paw)

This version is an improved model of the one that Wildfur used and made the entire TNP journey with; his would look very similar to Cryptidclaw's initial design (For the record it is the best mobility device for a paraplegic warrior I'd ever seen and they deserve a ton of credit here, I just improved some technical aspects of their design!)

ANYWAY back to discussion of abelism

So around this time, Briarlight finally sets a hard boundary with Millie. Her mom can't respect her, makes her feel horrible about herself, can't appreciate this incredible new mobility device, so finally Briar says, "Do not talk to me until you understand that my life isn't a tragedy!"

I think this actually does make Millie reconsider what she's been saying and doing to her kids, but fixing the relationship from this point is slow and gradual. Graystripe also gets caught in this; I'm thinking it was a sort of, "honey please speak to your mother," "Dad if you keep that up you're getting cut off too" situation.

Thankfully there's going to be plenty of time to do it since I'm not letting Briarlight die in AVoS. She survives AT LEAST until TBC, where her outspokenness against Bramblefake is going to put her in danger.

[autumnalternating]

HI I want to talk about the Keroro platoon mechas because I love how thoughtfully they're made and how they relate to their teams dynamic <3

VERY long post under the cut.

As you can see, the first Keroro mechs combine with Giroro being the bottom right leg, Dororo being bottom left, Kururu being left arm, Tamama being right, and Keroro being the head. This is what Kururu later refers to as Robot #1.

Later, when the mechs been destroyed and Shurara throws a tantrum, the team gets saved by what Kururu has dubbed Robot #2. Notice the changes here. Giroro is now the right arm, Kururu is now the right leg, and Tamama is the left arm.

This change is a big deal!

Your legs control your mobility. These, in a symbolic sense, are who I would imagine "carry" the team, or the rocks of the team, for lack of better words.

With robot #1, the base is Giroro and Dororo. Keroro's oldest friends, people he, in almost only a familiar sense, seems to be able to rely on. While all three seem to care about each other, these two are also most likely to shoot Keroro down.

Giroro because he hates when his plans are poorly crafted, and Dororo for refusing to participate in plans deemed too violent, among other things for both men. In relation to what that says about their characters, it almost implies Dororo and Giroro have to stop Keroro from walking into dumb shit. Very literally stopping him; ie controlling his mobility. In relation to Keroro, he uses their refusal as a reason why their plans never work out, ALSO putting the responsibility onto them as mobility.

With the younger duo, Tamama is, very fittingly, Keroro's right hand. Keroro and Tamama would probably like to believe Tamama is that loyal to him. Tamama gets to fuel his fantasy of being closer to the sergeant, and Keroro gets to have someone look up to him. To feel looked up too, in the very least. Kururu is his left hand, as the person who can make pretty much anything happen. I'm sure to Kururu, it'd also be beneficial to be seen as close to Keroro. They are the most loyal to him, in his eyes. Hands.

Now Robot #2 is built SPECIFICALLY to get them out of trouble. If Robot #1 is to represent how the team as it usually functions, Robot #2 is where they're most functional, or where they need to get.

I'll start out with Tamama. It's just a part of growing up that you learn your heroes are human. (He does this in the manga at least.) This doesn't mean he wants to leave him, though. Shown with him being his left hand instead of his right, it's good not to take everything Keroro says to heart, but that doesn't mean he wants to give up on him.

Giroro is his right hand. He's also the only one who is WHOLLY focused on invasion; the reason they're stuck on this planet in the first place. While they both go back and forth at each other all the time, Giroro would die for Keroro. He's trying to get him on the most fruitful path, even though he's harsh with how he goes about that.

Kururu is his left leg. He does more than the platoon has (willingly) acknowledged. He's pretty fucking needed in the case of invasion as a base, but also, he keeps tabs on everyone. He can track them down, finds and stops dangers before they even get to them. Don't get me wrong though, there's something interesting to consider that he moved further from his captains arms. This could represent everything he's kept hidden from the team.

I could say a million things about Dororo's place, mostly because I find it so like him. He didn't move. I'm not saying everyone should shut Keroro down, but Dororo is almost always in the right when he does it. Yes, he would be in a humans perspective to the invasion, but even with Keroro's feelings in mind he does his best to keep things fair. He doesn't take out his feelings over their past. They're both not perfect to each other of course, but Dororo is right where he needs to be. Which brings me to Keroro.

Keroro is the head. I know I've talked about him in relation to everyone else in this post, but there's a reason why you need to focus on that. How he see's the team and how the team gets along changes it's functionality, and as their leader, he needs to pay attention to both. He's pretty much in charge of both. How they see Keroro, how he allows them to see him, and how he see's them is placed right in front of us.

I could easily be reading into a mech that's clearly designed to be marketable, but I'd like to believe there's more to it than that. It's shows what work Keroro needs to do with his team. Tamama's misplaced idolization, finding understanding with Giroro, getting to know Kururu's everthing, and considering Dororo in general. And when it comes back to Keroro, it shows that his team won't give up on him. They just need to get a little closer.

Four sources, the whole robot change happens in episode 203.

I don't know if this is anything, but it meant enough to me to type this out at 2 am, so I'm posting it. Please let me know what you think and if there are any errors! Also, if this does seem like I'm reading to much into it, just know I will do it again