#i don't know if it's visible in the gifs but he is actually physically shaking in that last scene

[silverfoxstole]

Paul as Jeremy Frost in Tripping Over, Episode Two ( x )

[imagines--galore]

||The Thread of Fate|| Part Twenty

Summary: Soulmate AU. They say the Thread of Fate connects you to your one true love. It may tangle. It may stretch. But it will never break. Wrapped around your little finger it tightens when it feels your soulmate is close and loosens when they are far. And becomes visible with the colors of your soulmate’s Nation when you finally fall in love with them.

Pairing: Zuko x OroraOC (ATLA)

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T+ Romance. Adventure.

Previous Chapters - Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen

A/N: Okay so for the sake of moving things along, I'm gonna be compressing episodes together. Don't worry, we'll still get pivotal moments and plenty of angst inbetween as well as Orora's interaction with the Gaang, plus Zuko's turmoil, but just a bit fast paced cuz I know we're all excited to get to the Day of the Black Sun. One more thing, this chapter tends to get a little.....dark at some points. Orora is dealing with the trauma of Zuko betraying her, and Zuko is just warring with himself. So yeah, neither teenager is in a good place right now. BUT! Other then that! Happy reading lovelies!

He was tossing and turning in his sleep. Half formed thoughts and lucid dreams plagued his mind. Nothing made sense.

Nothing except...........the thought of her.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of Orora sitting on the edge of his bed. "Can't sleep huh?" She asked, sounding just as amused as he remembered.

Ignoring her, he sat up, running a hand down his face. "So whats on your mind?" She asked, standing to move around the room. "The Fire Lord?" He shook his head, though he was lying. "Azula?" Another shake of his head. "Aang?" She sounded a lot closer.

He was about to shake his head when something compelled him to look up and meet her gaze. It was almost scary, how clearly his mind could conjure her. And not just the physical aspect of her. He could actually imagine her warmth, and smell the perfume she had taken to wearing in Ba Sing Se.

"Of course, you're not thinking of me." She continued, sitting in front of him. "I mean why would you? I mean nothing to you." The look she fixed him with was once more a mirror image of what he remembered from the catacombs. His heart leaped in his throat.

A sudden flicker of color had his eyes darting towards the string on his finger.

It glowed a feeble blue, before disappearing.

He looked back up.

She was gone.

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"I think I see a cave below." Aang called out from beside her, though she could barely see through the cloud that drifted around them.

Sokka hushed him instantly. "Shh! Keep quiet!" Orora rolled her eyes as she scratched Momo behind the head. "Sokka, I doubt anyone is around this place for miles." She pointed out to which Sokka shot her a glare.

Appa landed as Aang dissipated the cloud he had been airbending around them. Sokka jumped down and looked around suspiciously before crossing his arms and turning to look at the rest of them as they disembarked from the Bison.

He looked so much like a father disappointed at his children that Orora had to suppress a smile to lest she annoy him further.

"Great job with the cloud camo." He praised Aang, to which the young Avatar smiled. "But next time, let's disguise ourselves as the kind of cloud that knows how to keep its mouth shut." He ended, before moving to look around once more.

"You gonna check under the rocks for booby traps Sokka?" Orora called out, unable to keep from taking a jab at the boy's suspicious nature.

Toph, who was standing next to her, and who also couldn't let such a golden tease Sokka opportunity go to waste added. "Yeah, we wouldn't want a bird to hear us chatting up there and turn us in." Aang and Katara, who had been holding back their smiles, smothered their giggles.

His face set in an annoyed scowl, Sokka rounded on all four of them. "Hey, we're in enemy territory." He pointed above his head where a few birds sat atop the boulder right behind him. "Those are enemy birds." He whispered harshly. One of the Toucan Puffin jumped onto his head and screeched.

"Maybe he thinks your ponytail is a friend." This time the other three did start laughing out loud as they walked towards the cave Aang had seen earlier. Grumbling under his breath, Sokka followed after them, though he did not stop in his.........reconnaissance. He brushed past Orora, prompting the girl to scowl at him in annoyance.

The group stood around as Sokka continued to investigate, and once he was satisfied he stood up straight and grinned. "Well, this is it. This is how we'll be living until the invasion begins. Hiding in cave after cave after cave after cave." His head fell lower and lower as his voice lost the enthusiasm behind it and his shoulders slumped.

Katara rolled her eyes at her brother's antics. "Sokka, we don't need to become cave people. What we need is some new clothes." She said, gesturing to herself as well as the rest of the group. Aside from Sokka, who wore the Fire Nation Soldier uniform, all four of them were wearing clothes of their respective nations, except for Orora, with cloaks thrown over their shoulders.

Orora glanced down at herself and grimaced. "Yeah, I think red on green is a little out of fashion." She flicked the front of her dress in annoyance. "Besides if we get Fire Nation clothes we can just walk around in the open no?" She continued, turning to look at her friends.

Aang nodded. "Yeah, blending in is better than hiding out. If we get Fire Nation disguises, we would be just as safe as we would be hiding in a cave." He finished with a big grin.

Having taken to sitting down on the stone floor, Toph nodded. "Plus, they have real food out there. Does anyone want to sit in the dirt and eat cave hoppers?" The girl punched the side of the cave, causing several hoppers to jump out. Feeling a shiver run up her spine, Orora quickly stepped a little ways away from the creepy crawlies, and tried very hard not to look at Momo who was chomping on one of them.

Sokka sighed before looking at Momo. "Looks like we got outvoted, sport." He said, before cheerfully proclaiming. "Let's get some new clothes."

Seems the thought of not living in a cave all the time cheered him up.

And for once luck was on their side.

All five of them crouched behind a rock that overlooked a Fire Nation home with a waterfall nearby. There were rows upon rows of clothes hanging over natural steam vents. As her blue eyes darted from one clothing item to the next, Orora contemplated on what to take.

"I don't know about this." Aang whispered. "These clothes belong to somebody."

Katara, who had been on her one side, jumped out from behind the rock. "I call the silk robe!" She called, grabbing two outfits.

The other waterbender was quick to follow. "No fair Katara! I had my eye on that!"

Aang blinked as the two girls began to race between the maze of clothes, darting to and fro, examining clothes, and picking the ones they liked and leaving what they didn't. "But if it's essential to our survival." He mused, before he too perked up and jumped over the rock. "Then I call the suit!"

Though there was a flurry of activity inbetween the clothing lines, each of them was discrete as they grabbed clothes here and there. Anything they wouldn't need would be returned, but for now grabbing as many garments seemed to be the best way to go about it.

Soon they had all picked out their clothes and moved away to quickly change. Orora looked at what she had picked out. A pair of pants that slid over her legs, sitting loosely and ending just below her knees. Pulling the laces on the edge, she was able to create a slight ruffle once she tied it up. She paired it with a shin length skirt wrapped around her waist, but had made a slight modification by splitting the sides of the skirt to allow her legs to move better.

Her top was a deep red bandeau, with gold accents along the edges, that left her shoulders and part of her navel bare, revealing soft brown skin. She pulled on a pair of armbands that came up to her elbows. They were the same color as the top, and the ends were tipped in gold.

A nearby shed had revealed several shoes within. With a shoe size that was a little tough to find, Orora had taken the first one that fit her. They were a dark brown with a golden stripe down the front to the tip and came up to her calf. Pulling them on, she turned her attention to her reflection.

Now that her hair was long enough, she was able to make a braid that circled around her head like a crown, keeping stray strands out of her face.

Pursing her lips, she twisted this way and that, wanting to see herself from all angles. It wasn't her first choice of outfit, but she didn't have many options. Besides, it felt strange to be wearing red when all she associated with that color was fear.

She missed wearing blue, the girl suddenly realized, sighing to herself. Now she understood why Zuko had hated the colors of the Earth Kingdom. He had missed the colors of his Nation.

A scowl creased her features. Why had she just thought of him? He didn't even deserve a single second of her time.

Growling to herself, and ignoring the way her heart twinged, she bundled up her clothes and threw them into the river, causing her reflection to ripple.

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Once they had all reconvened, the small group walked into the nearby city to purchase some other items they needed. Accessories to go with their now outfits.

Katara bought a new necklace, swapping the one she wore. Toph chose a headband, Sokka picked out a top knot. Aang, already wearing a headband, didn't pick anything out. Orora took a simple hair clip that would keep her braid in place.

Now for the next problem.

Food.

"I'm starving!" Toph groaned. Her complain was followed by a rumble from her stomach. Katara smiled as she patted Toph's shoulder in reassurance. "Don't worry, that's what we're gonna do next."

Before stepping out into the street, they stood behind a wall, waiting for Aang to finish hiding Momo.

Seeing him pat down Momo's ears and hide him inside his shirt, Orora raised an eyebrow. "You sure he won't get out Aang?" She asked, to which he grinned. "Momo knows how to keep still, don't you buddy?" He nearly stuck his face into his shirt. The poor animal responded with a series of chitters.

"I used to visit my friend Kuzon here a hundred years ago." Aang said in a cheerful tone. "So, everyone just follow my lead and stay cool. Or, as they say in the Fire Nation, 'stay flamin'." He walked out from behind the building. With a brief look of confusion she shared with Katara, the rest of the followed after him.

As they looked for a restaurant, Aang continued to greet people n the strange lingo he had learned a hundred years ago. "If he keeps saying that we're definitely gonna get noticed." Toph stated.

Finally finding a restaurant, they all moved to step inside but Aang stopped. "Oh, we're going to a meat place?"

Sokka shrugged. "Come on, Aang, everyone here eats meat. Even the meat!" He pointed towards a hippocow who was consuming a piece of meat.

Aang grimaced. "You guys go ahead. I'll just get some lettuce out of the garbage." Katara waved at him before they entered the building. "Stay out of trouble." Orora called over her shoulder. Aang gave her a playful salute.

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It turns out, she didn't have much of an appetite.

And given that she felt a little restless, Orora decided to walk back to the cave by herself, leaving Sokka to nearly eat the whole restaurant out.

She took her time, looking around at the buildings, and watching the Fire Nation civilians go about their everyday lives. It seemed so strange, to be walking through the enemy and have them acting so normal. Then again they were normal. None of them were soldiers. She doubted any of them had anything to do with the war.

The young waterbender took a long while walking around and just exploring, and it wasn't until it was sundown, that she realized that it was getting late.

Changing course, she walked out of town following the stream towards the cave they would be staying in for the next few days. As she walked, her gaze slowly began to shift to the babbling stream she walked alongside.

Her steps slowed, and soon she came to a stop.

The girl stood there, staring at the water as it rushed by. Ever changing, ever shifting.

It followed it's own course, she thought, just like she had. And yet the stream seemed to have made its way in the world with no obstacles, so why couldn't she do the same?

Her obstacle wasn't physical. It was mental and emotional.

Since Ba Sing Se, she had kept her attention towards her friends and their well-being. There had never been a moment when she had been alone. And if she happened to be alone, she would try to distract herself by either training or wandering around, just as she had done just now around the town.

Now?

She was alone.

With nothing but her thoughts, and the stream for company.

And her mind went to the one person she had no desire to think of and yet.......he was always there.

At the back of her mind.

Zuko.

Her soulmate.

The boy who had decided to return to the Fire Nation. To a father who had banished him. Had burned him.

What Orora couldn't wrap her head around was the fact that he had just............left.

He'd just left.

Her and his Uncle.

Had he not thought of how his actions would effect either of them?

Had he not loved his Uncle?

Love.

She........didn't think he loved her. But he did at least care for her.

Didn't he?

Or rather hadn't he?

Did he still think about her? Or had he already forgotten all that they had shared in Ba Sing Se? All those moments when it looked like they were progressing with their friendship. All those talks they had had, sharing everything with each other.

Had all that amounted to..........nothing?

Was she nothing to him?

Had she not been enough?

That strange sensation began to creep up her throat again, she gulped it back but it took her a couple of tries before it disappeared.

She stared into the watery depths of the stream, completely missing the way her string glowed a dull red for a second before disappearing.

"Orora?"

The sound of her name suddenly echoed in her ears and she blinked. Shaking her head to clear herself of the fog that seemed to have descended upon her, the girl quickly turned her head to the source of the sound.

Aang looked at her from where he stood a few feet away, covered in dirt. "Are you alright? I've been calling out to you for a long time now?" He asked, concern in his grey eyes.

"I'm......fine." She finally responded, pushing away her morbid thoughts and forcing herself to pay attention to Aang. "Why're you covered in dirt?" She asked, wanting to change the subject lest the boy pick up on what had her mind so occupied.

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I went to play hide and explode with some new friends of mine." He said. Orora raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh, and where exactly did you make these friends?" From what the others had told her, Aang had the tendency to make friends wherever he went.

Aang grinned. "At school."

That was not the answer she had been expecting.

She blinked.

"Say what?"

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Twice now he had gone to the prison.

The first time he had turned back, not even making it t the door. The second time he had walked in, threatened a guard before entering the one cell room he had been dreading to.

His Uncle's.

Not that going there had done him any good.

His Uncle had not spoken a word, and the already panicked and confused Prince had shouted a few choice words before going back the way he came.

It wasn't until the next morning, when he woke up and was playing around with his breakfast instead of actually eating it, did he realize that all that anger and confusion had morphed into something else completely.

Guilt and shame.

Zuko had wanted nothing more then to forget about it, to go about his day as if nothing had happened the night before. So when Mai had suggested that they take a private stroll to the nearby rocky outcrop that provided gorgeous views of the landscape he had almost said yes.

What had stopped him?

Memories of a blue eyed girl.

Her smile. Her presence. Her kindness. Her words. Her comfort. Her voice. Her hugs. Her laughter. Her smile. Her.............kiss.

"Thanks Mai, but I want to be alone right now." He finally responded. She gave a frown, her lips pinched.

"You know I'm getting tired of throwing hints and you not picking up on them Zuko." He flinched, thinking that maybe he had been a little dismissive of Mai's efforts to win him over.

There would have been a time when he would have actually reciprocated her feelings, and enjoyed them as well.

Now?

Now the very thought of even spending time with Mai had him feeling guilty.

As if he were going behind Orora's back.

Which was ridiculous, because they hadn't even been together officially. They'd just been friends.

But.....friends didn't kiss like they did.

Soulmates did.

Neither of them had thought of accepting the bond either, really they'd never even talked about it.

Mai had already walked off, and Zuko had barely noticed. His eyes were slightly glazed as he focused on the image of the water tribe girl he had called his friend for so many months.

If she were to see him now, she wouldn't be able to recognize him, he was sure.

Guilt and shame returned tenfold.

Though it was futile, he figured a walk along the same route Mai had suggested would do him some good. Pretty soon he was sitting atop a large flat boulder, one leg hanging over the side while the other he had pulled up so he could rest his arm on his knee.

The sun had just begun to set, casting gorgeous red, orange and yellow hues all around. He closed his eyes.

"You know its funny."

His eyes shot open and he turned his head. Orora was sitting beside him, knees pulled up to her chest. For the first time since his return home, there was a small smile playing about her lips. He stared, stunned.

"While we were in Ba Sing Se, we saw the night sky, and we watched a couple of sunrises together. But never a sunset." She turned her head so she could look at him. "I wonder why is that."

Feeling his own lips pull into a small smile. "Probably because we were too tired from being in the tea shop all day." He responded to which she sighed and nodded. "Yeah.......I just wish we had watched one together."

She lay her hands flat on either side of her body, leaning back on her arms, tilting her head back as she took in the last bit of warmth.

Zuko stared.

How was it that such a simple act would make her appear even more pretty then she already was? Had she always been this beautiful, or was his mind making her appear even more so then she already was?

Reaching out, he gently took her hand in his. Orora looked at him, surprise evident across her features. But Zuko was hardly aware of that, as he concentrated on the feel of her hand in his. Her scent as it surrounded him. And her presence that had always calmed him.

And yet.........the guilt..........the shame lingered.......

"I'm surprised to find you here by yourself Zuko. I figured you would be with Mai."

His eyes shot open and his head whipped to the side to see his sister leaning against a nearby rock wall. Her signature smirk was present across her lips as she looked at him.

"What do you want Azula?" He asked, turning his head back to it's original placement. Walking to stand in front of him, Azula cut straight to the point.

"So, I've heard you've been to visit your uncle fatso in the prison tower." Her words prompted him to slide down and stand in front of her, hands fisted in anger and glaring at her.

"That guard told you." He growled angrily, to which Azula shook her head, her smirk growing.

"No." She said, as calm as could be. "You did. Just now."

He wanted to kick himself for his own stupidity. Why did he have to go and fall for Azula's tricks every time. Still he stepped away from her and sighed. "Okay, you caught me. What is it that you want, Azula?"

His sister shrugged. "Actually, nothing." He stared up at her in disbelief. "Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you. If people find out you've been to see Uncle, they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful, Dum-Dum."

With that she walked off, leaving Zuko to think over what had just happened. There had to be an agenda behind her little visit. Azula didn't speak to him unless she wanted something. Or when she wanted to torment him and make his life miserable.

Too late for that, he mused to himself, lifting the hand that had held Orora's so many times.

He was already miserable.

The thread flickered a feeble blue before disappearing.

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This was rather strange for lack of a better word.

She'd attended partied growing up, but they had all been rather stiff and solemn affairs.

And there was nothing stiff and solemn about the dance party Aang had decided to throw.

Kids dancing, laughing, chatting and just generally being......kids.

She stood in the corner beside the table Toph and Katara occupied, sipping from her the cup the former had earthbended for their use. The cave looked gorgeous, with hundreds of candles flickering against the walls. Music filled the air as Aang taught his new friends all the dance moves he knew from a hundred years ago.

"Who knew Twinkle-toes could dance." Toph said as she sipped her drink.

"Hope those dances are still relevant." Orora added, smiling to herself as Aang began to pull a few girls to the dance floor, who followed eagerly. Her eyes shot to Katara, and she couldn't help but purse her lips to keep from laughing at the annoyed look on the girl's face.

But she didn't have to wait long. Aang approached Katara, holding out his hand and asking her for a dance.

Orora couldn't help but smile brightly as the both of them ran to the dance floor hand in hand.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and simply stared at the two dancers. Orora recognized the dance. It was actually a series of waterbending forms that required two people to perform together. Looks like Aang had decided to put a little spin on his and Katara's fighting skills to other use.

She sighed.

They looked so happy, smiling and laughing as they glided across the floor. They deserved it. The both of them had seen too many horrors and just deserved to be happy with each other. Anyone could see why they were picked to be soulmates. If they decided to tell anyone that is.

They just fit together.

Like two pieces of a puzzle.

Like.........

Like her and Zuko had been.

Her heart constricted painfully in her chest, prompting her to gulp down her drink, as if it would get rid of the pain. Though the ache remained. While Orora went off to refill her cup, Toph's unblinking eyes followed her retreating back.

This wasn't the first time the young earthbender had picked up on the weird anomaly. And she was starting to wander what it was all about.

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He was back again.

He didn't know why he kept coming back. Call it desperation. His Uncle had always been the one he turned to during his hour of need. It was upon returning to the Fire Capital that Zuko realized he had no one other then his Uncle who could give him advice and whom he could trust.

Despite the guilt he felt every time he visited him, Zuko always pushed past it.

Why?

He was getting desperate.

As he slid some food through the bars of the prison behind which his Uncle sat, he couldn't help but feel that guilt increase tenfold as he wandered what kind of food were they even giving him.

If he received any food at all.

"I brought you some komodo chicken. I know you don't care for it, but I figure it beats prison food." He said, his low voice echoing against the cold stone walls of the prison.

"I admit it." He began again after a beat of silence. "I have everything I always wanted." Not everything, an inner voice supplied, conjuring up an image of a certain waterbender girl with white in her hair. "But it's not as all how I thought it would be. The truth is, I need your advice."

Leaning forward he gripped the bars of the door. "I think the Avatar is still alive, I know he's out there, I'm losing my mind." His Uncle did not even respond. Growing desperate by the moment, Zuko continued.

"Please, Uncle, I'm so confused I need your help." His words were met with silence. All that fear, guilt and loneliness boiled down to one emotion.

Anger.

Anger he let out on his Uncle as he suddenly stood.[Iroh still has nothing to say to him. "Forget it." He declared, his hands shook with anger as he began to walk out of the room. "I'll solve it myself! Waste away in here for all I care!"

A voice called out.

"Is this how you behave with your elders Zuko?"

The boy in question whipped his head around to see Orora standing next to his Uncle behind bars. She was looking at him with such disappointment. "Stay out of it Orora!" He commanded, before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

Behind him Iroh looked up, wandering why his nephew would say such a thing. The thought of his young pupil had the old Master hoping and praying that she was safe.

Two lone tears slid down his cheek.

One for his nephew, who had lost his way, and one for his pupil, who had lost everything.  

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It had to be done.

This was the final resort.

He was desperate.

There was nothing else he could do.

As the man he had hired approached, Zuko lowered his hood and looked at him. "You're sure you weren't followed?" He asked the giant of a man with the metal leg. The towering figure gave no response.

"I've heard about you." Zuko continued. "They say you're good at what you do, and even better at keeping secrets." This was it. His chance to keep what he deserved.

"The Avatar is alive." He revealed, a slight tremor in his voice as he continued. "I want you to find him, and end him." After a few moments, the man nodded in confirmation. Satisfied, Zuko pulled back his hood. His heart clenched in his chest, and his stomach flipped. Despite the fact that he had hardly eaten throughout the day, he felt like he was going to be sick. He quickly hurried off, as the urge to take back his order rose in him in a wave of guilt and shame.

No sooner had he disappeared from view when another hooded figure approached, though this figure did not remove their hood, anyone who knew them would recognize the voice.

"You heard what my brother said. And no matter what, do not stop for anything."

The voice continued, smooth and without the slightest bit of tremor as it gave the orders to kill. "I will pay you thrice as much as he does if you follow my orders, and four times my weight in gold if you return with one of the Avatar's companions."

The man blinked at the figure.

"A watertribe girl, with white in her hair." Anyone else who heard the voice, would be able to pick up on the absolute glee in the person's tone.

After all, there was nothing Princess Azula loved more then tormenting her brother.

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She stared into the murky waters of the river.

The voices of the rest of the group were muffled behind her as she sat a little ways apart from them.

They had arrived at the river with the town situated in the middle of it. Calling it a town was a bit of a stretch. It was nothing more then series of planks nailed together to form streets, with people living out in the open with nothing to protect them from the natural elements.

But that wasn't what had gotten to her.

It was the people.

People who were sick, children who looked like they hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. Her heart physically ached at the sight. She'd moved to suggest that they help them, with Katara taking her side, but Sokka had stopped them. They couldn't reveal who they were by using Healing abilities.

He was right though. They had to think practically. And though it went against her very nature to not help, Orora kept her gaze forward, not wanting to meet the eyes of some destitute soul she had the ability to save but couldn't.

Besides, she doubted she would be able to help anyone much, what with her own lack of strength. For the past couple of days her appetite had been completely non-existent, and she was barely sleeping. She would doze off, but then as she would begin to fall deeper into sleep, Orora would forcefully jerk herself awake.

Why?

Because of the nightmares.

Nightmares that were just as horrible as the one from the previous night, if not more. All of them included someone she loved getting hurt or tortured or being killed.

And she couldn't take it.

She just couldn't take it.

"Hey?" She blinked as her head turned to the side and watched as Aang sat down beside her. Aang. The sweetest boy she would ever meet. With a fate that was so difficult and full of obstacles that she didn't think was fair to him. He deserved so much more. So much more then always being on the run, never being a kid all the time like he was supposed to. Loosing his people, his friends, his loved ones at the hands of a mad Fire Lord. He had died, and yet somehow, he still retained his sweet nature.

How could fate be so cruel to him?

"Enjoying the view?" He asked, referring to the polluted river in a joking manner. The older girl attempted to smile, but it was a grimace at best. As she turned her gaze towards the heavens where the moon had appeared out from behind the clouds Aang frowned.

Something was wrong.

Her lips parted as she spoke. "Its strange, how fate gives you something, but then takes it away again. These people have this river, but their own superiors have taken it away from them for their own gain." She hardly blinked as her eyes shifted from the moon to the lake. "Makes you question everything, doesn't it?" She muttered, a strange look in her eyes, never once wavering from the murky water in front of her.

Beside her Aang blinked, his eyes darted to the half-eaten bowl of food beside her. "Are you.......feeling alright Orora?" He asked, the worry evident in his tone and his eyes as he reached out to place a tentative hand on her shoulder.

He felt her tense under his touch. Her back straightened, her racing mind suddenly coming to a halt.

"I'm fine Aang."

Lie.

"Are you talking about the river or about someone else?" Aang asked, testing the waters, hoping he didn't say the wrong thing.

Someone else.

Zuko.

He meant Zuko.

Her soulmate.

In a way, she was addressing him as well. Or rather she was addressing the way she had lost him. Had she lost him though? Had he ever been hers to behind with?

He had been the one to turn his back on her. To attack her friends meant to attack her.

She blinked, her eyes heavy with sleep yet she couldn't go to sleep. She wouldn't.

Not when it meant she had to see Zuko hurt or dead over and over again.

He was gone from her life, but that did not mean she did not miss him. She did.

But now was not the time to dwell on that. Instead, the older girl shrugged her shoulders in a silent response. Aang seemed to accept it, since he fell silent next to her.

Orora stayed there for a few more minutes before she stood up, getting ready to go to bed.

The food she barely touched, she gave to Momo.

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Orora laughed as she pulled him along through the streets of Ba Sing Se.

"Come on Zuko! The fireworks are about to start and I'm not going to miss them." She called over her shoulder. Dropping his hand so he would follow on his own, she turned a corner disappearing from view.

Zuko smiled as he walked after her at a much normal pace.

"If I run after you anyone might mistake me for a robber chasing you or something." He called in a playful tone, as he too turned a corner and came to an open courtyard.

The scene that greeted him had the smile dying on his lips, and his amber eyes to widen in fear and panic.

There stood his father and sister, in full Royal Attire, with more then a handful of soldiers standing behind them.

But that wasn't what got his attention.

It was the sight of Orora, shackled and in his sister's grasp. There were chains on her wrists, around her throat and even her ankles. Her clothes were torn, her hair hanging in front of her lowered face as she knelt in front of his family.

"Zuko, you did not tell me you found your soulmate." Ozai spoke in a pleasant tone as he regarded his son with a look that had always frozen him in place. "That is the sort of news a son shares with his father. I had thought perhaps we were more closer then before your banishment."

The scene around him had changed.

He now stood in the courtyard of the Fire Palace, though the scene in front of him stayed the same.

His soulmate.

In chains.

Azula sighed. "Oh Zuzu, why do you insist on keeping secrets from your own family?" She purred in a tone that had more of a thread behind it then a question.

"Father, I-" He started but then fell silent when his Father held up a hand.

He shook his head. "Not a word Zuko. I would much prefer to hear a few certain words from your lovely soulmate here."

With that the Fire Lord walked forward, only to yank one of the chains. It was connected to the shackle around Orora's throat. The yank forced her to tilt her head back.

Zuko nearly threw up.

Her lips were bloody, her nose broken with dried blood staining her upper lip. One of her eyes was black, while the other was completely shut because of the swelling. There were numerous cuts and bruises all across her once unmarred brown skin.

But worst of all?

There was a burn mark on her cheek. As if she had been slapped by a hand holding a flame.

"Now my dear, I want you to take a good look at my son and tell me." He pulled the chain, forcing her to turn her head to look at him. Tears filled his eyes at the sight of her beautiful face, her one good eye betraying no emotion.

"Is he your soulmate?"

A beat of silence, where Zuko held his breath.

But then he saw it.

A lone tear escaping her one good eye.

Then she spoke the words that had his heart stopping in his chest.

"No, he's not."

His heart shattered.

                                           ————————–

With a heartbreaking cry, Zuko shot awake, his arm held out in front of him as if he were reaching for something.

For someone.

His chest rose and fell as he panted for breath, sweat lined his body as his mind played the nightmare in his mind over and over again. He could even feel sweat on his face and getting into his eyes since they were stinging so much.

He buried his head in his hands, curling in on himself where he sat.

How could he ever have thought it? How could he ever have thought of bringing Orora here? His Father would never have accepted her as his soulmate. His sister would've tormented her every single day. She wouldn't have been safe.

His eyes stung and he brushed away the sweat that stained his cheeks. Suddenly he stopped, staring at the drops of sweat that shone on his palm.

Not sweat, tears.

He was crying.

He was crying because he had nearly brought Orora to certain death if he had asked her to come with him.

What had he been thinking?

The window beside his bed was open, casting the light of the full moon on his bed. Despite the horrifying nightmare still plaguing him, he turned his head to look at the moon.

"That was horrible wasn't it?" Orora asked from where she sat at the foot of his bed. He always turned to look at her whenever she would appear like this.

But right then, he couldn't.

The image of her so hurt and burned was still too fresh in his mind.

"Don't worry, I've had the same dreams. Though in mine everyone I care about or love always die."

Finally, he turned his head, only to meet her gaze and having his heart stop.

She looked so sad.

So utterly heartbroken.

He had done that to her, he suddenly realized as she stood to walk up next to him beside the bed. He had made her so incredibly unhappy because of his choice. Because he had wanted his old life back.

He had thrown everything they had in her face and just left her.

His stomach roiled inside him, and if he had anything in it, Zuko was sure he would throw up.

She was standing in a patch of moonlight, appearing as ethereal as the Moon Spirit herself as she looked at him. His mouth opened, wanting to say something, anything to her.

But she beat him to it.

"I hope you found whatever it was you were looking for Zuko. I hope it was all worth it in the end."

He blinked and she was gone.

                                           ————————–

"Hey guys, we need to talk." Katara called out to everyone, minus Orora. The older girl had volunteered to go get some food from the nearby town they had saved a few days ago.

"About your hair loopies and how out of fashion they were so you're gonna keep this hairstyle instead?" Sokka quipped from where he was cleaning his brand new sword.

His sister glared at him. "No, this is serious. Its about Orora." Her glare melted away to a look of concern. "I'm worried about her." She revealed. Almost instantly the very atmosphere of their small camp became somber. Sokka put his sword down, Toph stopped tossing the space rock in the air, and Aang paused where he had been playing with Momo.

"She's not acting like herself." Katara continued, worry evident in her tone as she spoke. Aang sat up straighter. "You've noticed it too?" He asked, wanting to confirm her words. Sokka frowned in thought where he sat, a hand coming up to stroke his chin in thought.

"Come to think of it, she has been acting a little strange the past few days." He commented. "I mean every time I wake up at night to use the little boy's bush, she's always awake. No matter what time of night."

Aang nodded. "Yeah I mean, have you seen the circles under her eyes, and she hasn't been practicing her bending either. When was the last time any of you saw her actually practice. She was so strict about it in the first week or so since we left the ship."

Pursing her lips Katara stepped forward. "Its not just that, I've noticed she's not eating enough. She's even thinner then when we started traveling through the Fire Nation. And I've seen her give her food to Momo or Appa most of the time." Toph, not wanting to keep what she had discovered to herself sat up.

"Guys, there's something else I've noticed." She revealed. As everyone stared at her eagerly, she continued. "Sometimes, I feel her heart pause before picking back up again." She frowned. "Its strange as if her heart.......skipped a beat or something."

Aang's eyes widened in horror, a thought forming in his mind as Katara spoke. "But isn't that dangerous? Does she have a heart condition we don't know about?" She asked, looking around the group the worry clear in her eyes. Sokka, noticing Aang's expression frowned.

"You okay there Aang?" He called out, to which the younger boy pursed his lips. "I am, but I think I know why Orora is acting the way she is." He revealed. The other three stepped forward, demanding to know what he knew.

They were all worried about Orora. Where she had been the one to get them to get up every morning during those horrible days when Aang was in a coma, now she was the last one up. She would go about her day in a strange way, as if she had no desire to do what she was tasked to do.

Aang held up a placating hand. "Look what I know, I can reveal until I ask Orora. Its her secret, and I don't want to betray her. But!" He called over the sounds of protests that greeted his words. "I have an idea."

Quickly pulling out a map of the Fire Nation, he spread it on the ground. The rest of them crouched over it, heads brushing together. "We're near this waterfall and its surrounded by a lot of rocks so that will give us some cover to just have a mini-vacation." He looked at each of his friends. "We'll stay there for a few days and maybe, without the constant moving around, Orora will be able to rest properly, and even tell us whats bothering her."

Everyone looked to Sokka for confirmation, hoping that the little detour wouldn't come in the way of the route he had designed for them. But Sokka wasn't even thinking of that. He was thinking of his friend, and how sad she appeared all the time.

Her sadness was familiar to him.

Somehow.

The sadness in her eyes, was the same he had carried after Yue had died.

Nodding in determination he grinned. "Alright then Gaang. Operation Get Orora To Her Normal Self will launch tomorrow."

                                           ————————–

It was late at night, and he was sitting beside the pond he had frequented so often with his mother. The garden was empty, silence surrounded him as he stared into the clear water of the pond, the moon shining her light down on it, reflecting her silvery glow against the flat surface.

                                           ————————–

It was late at night, and she was sitting in front of the fire, while everyone else slept around her. The silence of the night was broken by the sound of fire crackling and the occasional snapping of a twig whenever the fire would eat away at the flesh of the wood. The warmth of the fire enveloped her.

                                           ————————–

He was sitting with his legs pressed to his chest, his chin resting between his knees. While one arm was wrapped around his legs, the other was held aloft in front of him, his fingers holding up the small comb he had found laying on the battle-ridden floor of the catacombs.

                                           ————————–

She was sitting with her legs pressed to her chest, her chin resting between her knees. Both her arms were wrapped around her legs, keeping herself in a semi fetal position as she stared into the fire. The fire continued to flicker, casting strange shadows against her brown skin.

                                           ————————–

This was all he had left to remember her by. A comb. A blue comb with a dragon. Ironic that it was a dragon since it was the symbol for fire. Ironic that it was blue, the color of her Nation. Or more specifically, her eyes.

Her gorgeous ice blue eyes.

                                           ————————–

The fire was all she had left to remember him by. The fire that burned within him. The fire that burned in his hands when he fought an opponent. Maybe it was her imagination, but if she stared hard enough, she could picture his eyes looking back at her through the fire.

His beautiful warm amber eyes.

                                           ————————–

His heart clenched in his chest, so painful that he actually grunted softly from the pain of it. His mind conjured memory after memory. Memories of her. Of the brief life they had shared before and in Ba Sing Se. All those moments where nothing else had mattered.

Nothing except her.

                                           ————————–

Her heart clenched in her chest, so painful that she actually grunted softly from the pain of it. Her mind conjured memory after memory. Memories of him. Of the brief life they had shared before and in Ba Sing Se. All those moments where nothing else had mattered.

Nothing except him.

                                           ————————–

He brought the comb to his chest, as if it would alleviate the pain he felt.

                                           ————————–

She had nothing to comfort her, nothing to remember him by except her memories.

                                           ————————–

He now understood why he was seeing her everywhere. Why everything he did reminded him of her. Why she plagued his mind no matter the time of day or night. Why he could not eat or sleep.

                                           ————————–

She now understood why she was feeling the way she did. Why everything she did reminded her of him. Why he plagued her mind no matter the time of day or night. Why he could not eat of sleep.

                                           ————————–

He just missed her so much.

                                           ————————–

She just missed him so much.

                                           ————————–

As they both buried heir faces in their arms, Zuko with tears stinging his eyes, and Orora with a vacant emotionless expression on her face, they both missed the way their strings glowed.

And they continued to glow throughout the night.

Fate had intended them to see the light, yet neither of them saw it.

Instead they each succumbed deeper and deeper into their mutual pits of utter despair and hopelessness.

                                           ————————–

Tag List - @wavesofchaos​ @violet-potter​ @rennysketch​ @emma-andrea1 @lovesammikinzz @fuzzyfestcat @msrawog @notsaelty @lust-for-pan @aces-tattooartist @jinxxangel13 @lotr-got @bitterspoons @realrintaro @gatorgirl151 @inutheangel @heartfully10 @lucaaahhh @juniper-july19 @anuttellaa @gfksz @bussyvussy @punksnotdeadbutiam @ablofftoneverland-blog-blog @slut-for-menn @vyliie @army-moa75 @juwhls

[whiskey-bumblebee]

classified

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Reader

Accessibility/Diversity notes: Gender neutral reader, reader has multiple previous sexual partners (essential to the plot). Reader is a receptive sexual partner (i.e. a bottom)

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: No active sex but the start is immediately post-sex, the whole storyline is based on reader having a sexual history so MDNI. Aaron smokes a cigarette. Haley doesn't exist.

A/N: Dividers and postscript designed by @saradika (thank you! they're so cute!!)

Tagging: @ssamorganhotchner @hausofwhores @hotchsdoormat @cr1minalskies <3

Sweat is cooling on Aaron's back as he slips out of bed. You're still catching your breath, and you can't help but laugh to yourself, totally satisfied.

"You fuck like an FBI agent," You tease.

You move so that your back is against the headboard, and you watch as Aaron lights a cigarette and cracks the window in your bedroom. He doesn't usually smoke, but it's been a hard couple of weeks. You figure if he's going to smoke, it's better if he smokes while you're with him, so you know he isn't sneaking off to do it.

He'd dragged one of the barstools from the kitchen into the bedroom, and he sits on it now, still naked. It's a hell of a scene, Aaron propped up on this wooden stool, one foot resting on the crossbeam of the stool, the other on the floor, his elbow on the windowframe, a lit cigarette between his fingers as he's careful to blow his smoke out of the window. It's rare for him to be at ease like this, just existing in his body.

"Can I take a picture?"

He's surprised, and he glances over his shoulder at you.

"Okay. Do you want me to-"

You shake your head. "Just as you are."

He turns away from you again, assuming his previous position. He has the tact to tuck his cock beside his leg so it won't be visible. Through your camera's viewfinder, you notice that you can still see his pubic bone and a bit of hair there.

"Are you okay with some of your pubic hair being in it?"

Aaron glances at you again, a small smile on his face.

"I'm assuming this isn't for the christmas card."

You smile back and shake your head.

"Just for me."

He nods again and looks out of the window. You snap two photos in quick succession.

Soon enough, he finishes his cigarette and slips back into bed, sitting beside you. He slings his arm over your shoulder.

"You were saying?"

You kiss his cheek, then rest your head on his shoulder. "You're an excellent sexual partner."

"That's not the wording you used before." He's teasing you back.

"That you fuck like an FBI agent? Yeah. I stand by it."

"And how exactly does an FBI agent fuck?"

"You know, the three S's," You ad-lib, holding up three fingers. This piques his interest, and he raises his eyebrows, egging you on. "Strength, stamina, state secrets."

He laughs at that, his eyes crinkling wonderfully.

"Do you feel like elaborating? Stroking my ego?"

"Oh, you know I'll stroke you anytime," You grin.

You interlace your fingers with his, deciding what to say next.

"Well. I guess it's hard to describe, actually. Physically, it's incredible, because you have this endurance that's just..." You bite your lip, your train of thought giving way to the many, many memories of being in bed with Hotch.

"Which means you can fuck slow. And hard. I don't feel like there's some amateur on top of me. And you really pay attention. If something isn't working, you notice. If I'm faking it, you notice. Maybe that's a BAU thing. But you fuck like someone with top secret clearance."

The sheet over Aaron's lap shifts without his hands moving it, and you gasp softly, delighted. "So I am stroking your ego."

He chuckles. "Hearing the love of your life compliment your skills in the bedroom will do that."

You lapse into silence for a moment, wondering whether you should slip your hand under the sheet and-

"So... How many FBI agents have you...?"

"Oh my god," You laugh. "That's classified. Unless you actually want to know."

Aaron shrugs. "I won't be offended. I'm assuming they all pre-date me."

You scrunch your eyebrows together, surprised. "Yeah. I haven't slept with anyone else since we started dating, if that's what you're asking."

Aaron winces. "Sorry."

You shrug, lightening the mood. "I'm not offended, just surprised. I figured you'd realized that I was yours from the first night."

You lift your head from Aaron's shoulder and sink into the headboard behind you.

"I am curious," Aaron starts. "About how many FBI agents..."

He reads your expression, and you decide you'll beat him to the punch.

"Three, including you. When I was living in Fredericksburg, there were a few of them around."

It's your turn to guess what he's thinking.

"Now you're wondering how many people in total?" You posit.

He nods.

"Seven. Three were serious. Four were... Temporary."

"Three were serious, and three were with the FBI?"

You laugh. "No overlap. You're the only one in the middle of that Venn diagram."

He nods again, his expression serious.

"Hey," You nudge him, holding his face between your hands. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Do you want to know about mine?"

You nod excitedly, and slip under the covers so you can rest your head in his lap as he talks. He traces your hairline with his index finger, then rests his warm hand over your cheek. It's rare that he opens up about his past, especially sexually, and it's so wonderful to hear his voice telling his story.

"I was a virgin until college, which I think you know. I was waiting until marriage. Then there was a girlfriend in undergrad. She only loved half of me, but we... She was my first. After that it was better."

"That's when you kind of... this sounds cliche, but when you got to know yourself better, right? When you started going to concerts and listening to the music you like?"

Aaron nods. "And I realized I liked men. So, forgive me, this is crude, but there are some that it's difficult to count because I was drunk, or because I never saw their faces. And then there was George."

"The one in your grad cohort?"

"Yes."

"And you slept together?"

He hums affirmatively. "He said... He always said that it didn't count if it was oral sex. So, until I met you, I thought all of the times I..."

A blush comes over his face, and he smiles.

"I thought it didn't count. So when I was studying law, it was mostly me and George. I don't know how nobody realized. If this hurts your feelings, you can tell me and I'll stop, but there were a lot of women trying to date me. George would always just laugh when they asked for my number."

"It doesn't hurt my feelings," You smile, reaching up to touch Aaron's face. "I'd love to meet him."

Aaron smiles sadly, his voice lowering. "He died in 1995."

You frown, your eyebrows pinching together. "Oh my god, Aaron."

He nods. "They granted him an honorary degree since he was so close to finishing his JD. Then I left Seattle and there's been one or two women since then, but nothing serious. I thought I was too old for one night stands."

"Lie down with me, baby. I want to hold you."

"It was a long time ago, honey."

"That doesn't make me want to hold you any less."

Aaron acquiesces and lies on his side so you can be the big spoon.

"It was hard, losing him," Aaron murmurs. "I loved him."

"But he told you that he was straight?"

Aaron nodded. "And maybe he was. Though we had a lot of sex for two straight guys."

You huffed a laugh into the space between Aaron's shoulderblades.

"So I have three FBI agents and you have-"

"George," Aaron finishes.

You smile and press a kiss to the back of his neck.

"And it sounds like you were a bit of a whore in college, if I can say that," You whisper.

"You can. Just not to anyone else, please. I don't need anyone finding out how much time I spent on my knees in bathroom stalls."

"Is it bad that turns me on?"

"I'm too tired to profile you. Let's say no for now."

"Good."

You wrap your arms around Aaron's middle.

"I love you," Aaron murmurs.

"I love you too. I hope you feel like I love all of you."

He hums affirmatively. "I don't think you're the kind of person who loves in halves."

You sigh, somehow feeling lighter despite the turn the conversation had taken. Knowing Aaron was a privilege, and you'd always be glad to carry anything he gave you.

"I only have confidential clearance."

Aaron's voice is gravelly; he's slipping towards sleep.

"Hmm?"

"You said earlier that I fuck like someone who knows state secrets, someone with top secret clearance. I only have confidential clearance."

"So you can't tell me any state secrets?"

"There are things I could tell you which would get me into a lot of trouble. But if you want state secrets, you'll have to ask Garcia. She's the only one with top secret clearance."

"Really? Penelope?"

Aaron nods. "To use the systems she uses, you need confidential clearance. A few months after she started, Strauss realized it was pointless to keep her at confidential clearance, since she's smart enough to find anything she wants to find."

"Good to know."

"I know you have questions about things. But Garcia can get into a lot of trouble even if she doesn't tell you anything."

"Okay." You stroke your fingers over Aaron's torso. "I'd only want to hear state secrets from you anyway. Your voice is sexier."

Aaron huffed a laugh. "Thank you. I don't think you want to hear any of the secrets I know. State secrets are only fun when you don't know them. Once you know... You lose a lot of respect for some people."

You hum and kiss the side of his neck.

"Tell me one? Just enough to get you into trouble."

Aaron rolls over to face you, and whispers into your ear, nipping your earlobe once he's finished.

"Now you can blackmail me," He whispers.

You wrap one of your legs around his hips, grinding into him.

"You're setting a dangerous precedent. Now you know that telling me state secrets turns me on."

Aaron kisses your neck, nipping at the spot he knows you like. "Good to know."

[bonny-kookoo]

Omg I’m so happy that Seven Days drabbles are welcome! Could I request things like Seven Days MC purposely pushing JK’s buttons to see what happens?

A/N: Hi hello please request for Seven I wanna write for it so bad but I can't because it gets reported please I LOVE THEM SO MUCH-

-> Masterlist

Considering that Jungkook isn't at all what you're used to when it comes to men, it's also surprising to you how your simple interest and somewhat almost childish crush on him has turned into curiosity.

And it's also become quite.. fun to play around with him a little, turning the tables around for a change.

He's not actually ever openly told you what he's into- he always just seems to adapt to whatever you seem to like, and in your own humble opinion, that's just not fair. Is he secretly a sadist? Or into stuff you definitely aren't? You want to know. You don't want him to just bend his bones around you, just so you're happy.

You want him to be happy too.

Something you've learned about him by pure observation alone, is that he literally seems to buzz whenever he can do something for you. He fully immerses himself into caring for you, even if it's just 'hey, can you maybe watch the soup on the stove while I shower?'. It's cute, in a way, how he becomes happy at every touch you offer him.

He's a cuddler, even though he tends to end up in quite frankly ridiculous positions during his sleep- and it also offered one of these 'happy-buzz' moments with him.

He'd mentioned, very fleetingly, how he seems to sleep really well next to you at night these days. How he usually wakes up with a sore throat, and neck pain- but that it's pretty much gone now. You'd told him, equally as nonchalantly, how you noticed that he tends to move into an odd position at night, which makes him snore due to his head being tilted back too far- and that you've started to wake up from it. At first, he'd clearly wanted to apologize- but then you'd said that you just turn him a little, or adjust his pillow, because you already worried about him not sleeping well otherwise.

The look on his face was priceless; eyes all round and lips slightly parted, an expression of surprised affection that seemed to even catch him off guard as he had to visibly shake himself out of it, laughing it off before he thanked you, occupying himself with poking at his food instead to gloss over the almost shy smile growing on his lips.

And it's also really fun to test his patience.

You're not sure if he's aware of your games, but even if he is, you don't really care. Seeing him look at you with his jaw clenched and lips pursed, words on his lips but never spoken, hands having to physically hold onto something as to not move, it makes you feel empowered. You're not worried about any actual consequences- because even if there were any, he'd never hurt you.

You trust him. You're not scared of him.

"Hey, can you give me that?" He asks as you struggle to open the water bottle, but you whine, turning away from it as you continue to fight with the plastic cap. "Darling come on, just let me do it for you-" He chuckles, but you get up now instead, so he can't reach it.

There it is. The first sign- his tongue playing with the silver piercings on his bottom lip.

"You're gonna hurt yourself-" He tries again, voice still soft, but you shake your head.

"I can do it." You deny, now even moving to use your teeth for help- when he gets up, walking over to you.

"Stop being a brat, let me help-" He attempts once more, but you now walk again- falling into a little jog as he grabs for your shirt, fingers barely reaching the straps of it which snap right back against your skin. "Baby..." He threatens now, voice low and challenging. But you're not intimidated.

He's yet to actually prove his dominance, after all.

He thinks you can't take it. You know that's probably what he believes- that you can't handle it, that you're fragile and weak and oh-so-delicate. But you're not. You're not sure if he's turned you into this, but in a way, you've developed almost a hunger for what he might do to you if you were to finally make his patience snap.

You've gotten close before- you're getting close right now, you're sure.

But how much does it take for him to finally put you in your place?

And how will he do it?

[thewertsearch]

GG: you said you are asking me permission first and i appreciate that GG: but if you are asking im afraid my answer is no! AT: oKAY, i RESPECT THAT, AT: bUT, i WONDER, GG: what? AT: i WONDER IF A TRULY SELF CONFIDENT GUY, wITH THE BEST SELF ESTEEM THERE IS, wOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK, AT: mAYBE THE BEST GUY WOULD JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL, aND WOULD DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, aND EVERYONE ELSE'S,

I don't think Tavros is just emulating Vriska here. This is a very Alternian mindset, and it's one we've seen before.

Alternia is, after all, an empire. It's a society whose idea of success is inexorably tied to violence and domination - so if you're trying to be a better troll, you'll probably gravitate to both, even if you don't realize it.

It's not really about your personality, either. Karkat is, by all accounts, one of the more moral trolls in the party - but as we've seen above, even he's got those imperial instincts. This sort of thing is insidious, and once it worms its way into your brain, it can be hard to shake.

Tavros is a very straightforward example. He's finally gained some 'confidence' - and what's his first impulse?

To seize a useful resource from an alien, and use it against her will.

GG: that would be smug and arrogant and would make you a bully!!! [...] AT: yOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ALL THAT, i'LL RESPECT YOUR WISHES, AT: oR, AT: wILL i? };) GG: nooooooooo dont dont dont dont dont GG: im serious GG: uuuuggghh i think my headache is coming back AT: i WAS jUST, AT: mAKING A JOKE, AT: sORRY, }:(

This dude cannot read a room. Truly, the anti-Terezi.

Oh, leave off.

AG: Next time you decide to open your heart to an alien girl…….. AG: Make sure her chat client isn't 8eing holographically projected for all to see, ok?

This exploit should apply to chat clients of any size, provided the screen is visible. Maybe John's Pesterchum Glasses were a better investment than I thought.

AG: Jade let you down too easy. She's too nice! Someone's got to tear into you for that appalling display, and once again, guess who's shoulders that falls on? AG: That's right. Vriska's, as usual.

Tavros probably does need someone to explain what he did wrong, but it should be anyone but Vriska. This is obviously just going to be more bullying, and no actual advice.

AT: i THINK SHE HAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF NICENESS, pERSONALLY, AT: aN AMOUNT THAT IS SOME, iNSTEAD OF, AT: nONE,

Showing backbone against Vriska, eh? Finally, a constructive use for all that confidence.

Progress is progress, even when it's just a minor clapback.

AG: Hey, I'm nice when it matters, [...]

Nope, I'm calling Vriska's bluff. What nice things has she done so far, exactly?

Sure, she made Tavros the rocket chair, but only after mercilessly tormenting him for his physical condition, which she caused.

Plus, this wasn't even a real apology gift. She kept bullying him after that, and is literally doing so as we speak.

I guess she also made Aradia's soulbot, as an 'apology' for murdering her with her own boyfriend. To be precise, she had Equius make it, with horrific results that she should probably have seen coming.

She also thought that it would be 'nice' to tell Terezi that her blindness 'wasn't that bad'. This conversation was kind of complicated, though, and I'm not sure what her actual intention was.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that Vriska doesn't really grok what 'nice' means. She gives Tavros a rocket chair, continues to torment him, and doesn't understand the contradiction, because she doesn't think his feelings actually matter.

[...] and where it doesn't strangul8te the critical development of people I give a shit a8out, ok?

"After all, no one was ever nice to ME, and look how gr8 I turned out! When you think about it, it's actually a GOOD thing that no one ever showed me kindness! It made me strong! Don't you want to 8e stroooooooong, Pupa? ::::D"

I'm reminded of this exchange from Hivebent. Kanaya recommends that Vriska practice some basic self-care, and Vriska completely flies off the handle, furious at the mere suggestion that she should be kind to herself.

Vriska thinks kindness will harm her. She refuses to accept it, and avoids showing it to anyone, which makes her remarkably consistent in her cruelty. I'm willing to bet that there's nothing she's said to Tavros that she hasn't already said to herself.

[izels-writing]

r. lupin — strange [2/2]

Pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

Summary: you know remus lupin now, and you love him anyway

Warnings: a little fast-paced, confident and blunt reader (?), awkward remus (?), pregnancy toward the end, physical punch (not intentionally violent)

PART ONE, PART TWO

it had been weeks since your 'almost-kiss' with remus lupin. no one really knew about it from your side, because y/f/n knew better than to try and pry it out of you. despite what you tried to convince yourself, you were upset about it.

but remus still talked to you as friends, but nothing more. he never even mentioned the kiss or walking around the corridors. he just didn't. you acted as normally as you could, but it honestly only made it sting worse. especially considering james, sirius, and peter brought it up when remus wasn't around. you mainly pretended to be too immersed in whatever was at your best convenience.

yes, you had started hanging out with the mauraders. and they were becoming fast friends. you expected to feel the same connection you had with remus, but you didn't. it was strictly the same connection you felt with y/f/n.

remus was different. strange but different.

—

you sat in front of remus, who was diligently working. you were looking at him over your book, taking notice to a few things.

the bags under his eyes had gotten worse, much darker definitely. his usual ill appearance was looking worse as well, with him looking really pale.

as he wrote, his hand was shaking, as if trying to maintain focus too much. and his posture looked much more exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days. you had also noticed that he had been skipping dinner the past couple of days.

he was now impossible to read.

"remus?" you said softly.

he looked up at you, a concerned look on his face when he noticed the concern on your own.

"are you alright? you haven't been eating dinner, you look more tired than usual, you're visibly shaking—!" you rambled.

"y/n! i'm fine! just, stop worrying, okay?" he said in an reassuring tone, but to you, it was anything but.

"alright..." you trailed quietly.

you both quickly went back to your silent study session.

——

it had been approximately three days since you tried to confront remus, and he had now started to avoid you. normally, you would've left it alone, but this time...you couldn't. it was too much on your mind to even think away from it. seriously, you had started having dreams about remus falling so ill that he'd die.

so, now, you were in the library, looking up anything that it could be in a quiet, hidden corner of the library with stacks of books surrounded you, making you even more invisible.

"moony, are sure you can go to class today? today's the rough day, you can rest up for tonight—" sirius' voice said.

"i'm fine, pads. honestly, you're starting to sound like y/n. minus the part that she doesn't actually know." came remus' voice.

"wait, y/n noticed?" said james. you nodded, as though they could see you.

"yeah...so?" remus questioned.

"she fancies you, mate! that almost kiss that you really wanted wasn't your imagination!" sirius said. you felt a deep blush rise to her face.

no, i don't! you thought, i just care a lot for remus.

"look guys, just because i fancy someone, it doesn't mean they'll automatically fancy me back." remus said exasperatedly.

"still, she noticed, and she's a close friend now. lily knows, aren't you going to tell y/n?" james asked.

"lily figured it out. y/n hasn't and i hope she doesn't. i don't need her getting freaked out and never speaking to me again. i really fancy her, and even if she doesn't fancy me back, it's nice to have her in my life. so please don't say anything."

remus' words made you feel warm inside, but also jittery. he fancied you. the one person you could talk to about anything fancied you.

then it dawned on you. the extensive research. the worrying. the pretending. the way you could feel your heart jump every time remus smiled at you.

sirius was right, you fancied remus just as much as he fancied you.

replaying the conversation in your head, knowing the boys had left to class, you tried to remember anything that could hint to what exactly was going on.

'today's the rough day, you can rest up for tonight—'

today was november 25th. november of your seventh year...you tried to think of anything else.

'tonight'

'i don't need her to freak out'

'lily figured it out'

"miss l/n, while i appreciate how much you appreciate my library, you're going to be late. honestly, too many kids came in today," madam pince sighed, "something about the full moon makes people act funny."

full moon! tonight was the full moon!

"yes, i understand, madam pince, can i just have a couple of more minutes?" you asked quickly. she sighed, "very well. but get to class soon."

you nodded and stood up, waving your wand to put up the books you had checked out. you quickly rushed over to the magical creatures section, stopping at the vampire and werewolf sections, which were the most active creatures during the full moon.

remus wasn't a vampire. if he was, he'd have to have killed a couple of students by now. but he was too innocent to be a werewolf. he was so lean, but also gentle and kind. then again, he had always been so hard to read.

out of pure gut feeling, you grabbed the werewolves book. you flipped through it, before finally stopping one important section. you felt stupid, but didn't put too much blame on yourself, considering you haven't studied werewolves since your fourth year.

'Symptoms

• before full moon (days or exact day)

  - fatigue

  - override in senses

  - shakiness

  - restlessness

  - loss of appetite (unless raw meat)

  - paleness'

the list went on and on. it was starting to make sense. most of these described remus almost to the tee. it was like reading a book on remus.

remus lupin was a werewolf. and he was transforming tonight.

you wanted to tell him you knew, so that he didn't have to hide anymore from you, but you didn't want him to freak out on you.

sure, it was surprising to know he was a werewolf, but you have seen him get into an argument with james over stupid subjects. it was hard to see him as anything other than what you always thought he was. it didn't change.

"miss l/n!"

"going!"

you shut the book, pushing it back into its rightful place. you gathered your things, slinging your back over your shoulder, and took a deep breath.

and to class you went.

——

after dinner, you waited by the entrance to the gryffindor common room. everyone went in, and surprisingly, the last ones to enter were the boys you were looking for, except remus wasn't with them.

"y/n! what's up?" james asked, pulling you into a hug, as he usually did. you returned it, before quickly letting go.

you made sure no one was around before you finally gave the boys a deadpan look.

"i know."

"you know?!" the three of the sputtered.

"i know." you nodded.

"but are we sure she knows what we know?" sirius questioned.

"no, i know that you know that i know." you replied. you all blinked at each other, having become confused at this point.

"okay, listen, how do you—"

"i overheard you guys in the library. but don't worry, i'm not freaked out or anything. honestly, at least he's not a montrose magpies fan, we're good." you said. james nodded in agreement.

"i mean, there's a reason we have quidditch and that ruddy muggle sport football separated!" james whispered harshly. you nodded quickly in agreement.

"anyway, have you to told remus you know?" sirius asked. you shook your head, "i need help telling him. i don't want him to freak out and get upset that i know. i fancy him too, you know." you mumbled.

the boys smirked. "we knew it."

"are you going to help or not?" you asked in annoyance. james sighed, "listen, tomorrow morning you can visit him in the hospital wing. he usually spends a day or two there to make sure he's healthy."

you nodded understandingly. they bid goodbye, and headed to their dorms, while you waited outside for a moment.

——

the next morning, you brushed your hair and teeth, got dressed, and made a beeline for the hospital wing. james was waiting outside already, but right as you were going to enter, madam pomfrey stopped you.

"mr. potter, you know that mr. lupin only allows three visitors." she said promptly.

"but madam pomfrey—"

"mr. potter." she interjected sternly, "she simply cannot come inside unless she is injured."

you took a deep breath and turned to james. you thought of solutions, but only one thing came to mind.

"punch me." you said bluntly.

"what?! no! i'm not—"

"just do it, james!"

"no! why would i—"

"oh my god! just punch me!" you exclaimed. you could see james panick internally, but he gave you an apologetic look, and swung at you with his fist.

it collided with your cheek, and damn it did it hurt.

"ow!"

"i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" james rambled, you shook it off.

"it's fine. am i allowed inside, madam pomfrey? this'll leave a bruise for sure." you remarked. she huffed and nodded, going to the back.

you and james shared an accomplished look, but you quickly rushed over to remus, who was lying down.

before you could think about it, you pressed your lips to his, cupping his face gently.

you quickly pulled away. "i'm glad to see you're alright..." you trailed nervously, not meeting his eyes.

he gaped at you.

"...also, i know your secret." you added quietly.

"but don't worry! i still fancy you back! in fact, it's not really that bad! well, i'm sure it's not ideal, but i still see you as the same person i fancy? wait, did i say that out loud? forget that part, but i still see you as the same remus—"

he laughed, "just kiss me, you idiot."

you smiled and kissed his face repeatedly, mainly going for the scars if possible.

"yeah mate, she's a piece of work. made me punch her just so she could see you." james chuckled, "also, y/n, you have very strong cheek bones."

you waved him off, pulling remus into another kiss.

"okay, we should probably go..." sirius trailed. james chuckled and dragged the other two out.

finally, you pulled away and sat down next to him. he chuckled, looking at your cheek in concern.

"does it hurt?" he asked.

you rolled your eyes, "remus. poor sweet, innocent remus. i got a plate to the head. don't tell him, but james hits like my baby cousin."

remus laughed, clutching his stomach. you grinned, feeling a sense of relief.

"i can't believe you made him punch you when you could've faked an injury."

"oh shut up, it seemed reasonable at the time."

bonus;

you began to stir the potion, watching your baby play in his playpen. you finally took out the stirrer and used a pipette to put some of the potion in small vials. your husband wouldn’t need much of it, but you had made a large batch anyway. you never wanted him to go without the one potion that actually made him feel better.

despite being horrid at potions at times, you’d do anything to help remus, even going as far to make a potion that was more than just complicated to make.

remus’ footsteps descended from the stairs, before making his way inside your kitchen.

he came down with a small smile, trying to hide the fact that he was so obviously tired and hungry. it wasn’t as though he could keep much down. if it wasn’t raw meat, he felt like he would vomit.

“hello, my beautiful wife,” he smiled, kissing your cheek gently. he rounded the island and picked up your baby boy, tossing him and catching him. he held him close, your son bursting into a fit of giggles at his dads antics.

“remus, put our baby down and eat or so help me god—!” you began irritably. although you loved your husband, being pregnant with your daughter didn’t exactly help your mood swings of irritability.

“sorry, buddy,” remus whispered loudly to your son, “your mummy happens to be very strict,”

“she’s a piece of work,” he told your son, making you roll your eyes and fight back your smile. “but she’s my piece of work, you’ll find your piece of work one day,”

“hey, james warned you when you met me! you knew who i was!” you replied.

he put your son down in his playpen again, grinning at you as he rounded the corner and brought you close to him. he kissed your head, brushing your hair back.

“of course, why do you think i married you?” he grinned.

“very suave,” you chuckled. “eat your damn soup,”

“yes ma’am,” remus grinned, kissing you swiftly.

[biribaa]

Hey I'm the person that came onto your blog when it was new and you were writing Collector fanfics. Sorry I completely disappeared from it. Hey, do you think you can do P03 x reader headcanons if you haven't already??

P03 x reader headcanons

Tbh i rlly want to fogor bout these Collector fanfictions i did

P03 will always act like the P03 everyone knows, quiet, grumpy, and judging everything he sees and hears, oh but trust me, when it comes to you P03 is itching to have an interaction with you, anything! A conversation, holding hands or etc, P03 is dying to be able to interact with you, but is embarrassed to admit that he is "vulnerable", in his words. But this is all just at the beginning of your relationship, with time P03 will be less shy, still shy, but the results are visible.

But of course, if you're gentle with the old lil' P03 inexperienced with love, they will be able to relax into your touch. Pss, they hate to admit it, but they love laying their head in your lap.

Of course we can't forget about the cute nicknames it gives to you! "Idiot", "Loser", "Bastard", P03 has difficulties expressing affection, so trust me this is the best way P03 can show it. But of course, if you are uncomfortable with these nicknames, he will stop, and try to use something more affectionate.

While P03 cannot express love like most people do, with words or physical affection, they try to express their love in helping you, most of the time being tips and etc, but they like to show you that they actually like you and like to help you.

Another notable thing that P03 only does with you, is listening to you without interrupting, it does this almost all the time with the other scrybes, but not you! P03 listens carefully to you, it's even impressive how it pays attention. Sometimes, he even make notes, writing down the likes and dislikes that he noticed in your conversations, P03 wants to try to be a good partner, and doesn't want to see you regret staying with him.

Theres that type of moments between you and P03 where they try their best to hold your hand without you noticing, they get to the point of shaking from so much struggle, you find it cute, and when you finally grab their hands by yourself P03 almost jumps, but relieved anyway.

I don't know about you, but "Soft Bitch" by Rio Romeo is the biggest P03 x reader I listened.

There are times that P03 think how he was so harsh on you, calling you stupid, idiot, dumb and etc. He secretly blames himself for all that, he doesn't like to admit he thinks about it, but he wonders if you forgive him.

There are times when P03 scolds you for staying up too late, for not eating, or for just eating not so healthy things, it's not doing that because it doesn't like you, quite the contrary, it loves you! And all P03 wants to see is you well and healthy with lots of energy. P03 loves you.

P03 doesn't normally sleep with you, he'd like to, but he's afraid he'll make you uncomfortable, due to the fact that he's completely metal, y'know, pure hard stuff, so he'd rather you have a comfortable sleep than gossip about having back or neck pain.

Anyway, P03 is quite loyal, and always wants the best for you even if that means he have to scold you, I hate to use that term but the easier way to explain this is "tsundere".

[persage]

I WILL FIND YOU - S. HARRINGTON

Summary: Vecna knows he's losing the war, so he makes a trade. He agrees to stop the attacks, and asks for only one thing in return-You. Seven. By keeping you and Eleven apart, he will be safe forever.

In which you are one of the kids from the lab.

(PostS4! Steve Harrington x Reader) Masterlist .

Part 2: Sacrifices

Words Count: 4.3 k

WARNINGS! : Heavy Angst and Whump. Mentions of psychological and physical abuse. If you are sensitive to certain topics please don't read it, i don't wanna trigger you, your mental well-being it's important to me (also take care of yourself <3)

Basically a -way darker- Stranger Things's remake of Tangled and just another Steve Harrington's love story cause I can't stop writing about him.

Vecna knows he's losing the war, there are forces against him, stupid humans trying to survive in every stupid way. But you are exhausted too, you aren't gonna last long and you all know it. Battle after battle, death after death, hope fades and every time you come up with a new plan and arm yourself, or go on a reconnaissance mission to rid the Hawkins streets of demogorgons, you can't help but wonder who'll be the next. You almost lost Will last time. Robin was injured some days ago. Hopper lost his hand trying to save Murray and Murray, he died anyway. You are no longer sure what are dying for, what you are fighting for. After all you've been through, from your escape from the lab, to your arrival in Howkins, to the rediscovery of your dormant powers, nothing seems to make sense anymore, not if you ultimately fail to kill that damned monster. Then you turn to Steve Harrington, asleep exhausted in a corner of the shelter next to Robin, her hand wrapped in his, Steve's body covered with visible bruises and scratches and his expression tense even in his sleep. And suddenly you know that your reason is a boy like many others. And you know it probably won't be enough to keep you both alive: feelings don't save people in this war. They haven't saved Eddie, nor Max or Murray, and maybe they won't save Will, feverish in an unmade bed not far from you.

Creel or 001 or Vecna, whoever that monster is, is weak, tired. It is a war of wait, that goes neither back nor forward. Sometimes 001 thinks that if he just waits he could watch men destroy themselves until they disappear, other times he thinks they don't deserve this concern. But what he can do is taking his time to recover and come back stronger than before, perhaps with a few more allies. He's already got Eddie Munson, now he is ready to take someone much stronger and with his new puppet by his side he will finally win. Humanity will be over. So he makes a trade, he agrees to stop the attacks and asks for only one thing in return: he wants the only person that can actually destroy him, someone with powers too similar to his own. He asks for you y/n l/n, Seven, the one who ran away from him. He knows that when you and Eleven'll find the right way to combine your powers, then there will be no escape for him, that you could hold the balance of power in this fight. So one day he makes his proposal to you, in a low and frightening voice. He's in your head, a dark echo that portends the worst.

"If you come with me your friends will be safe." He ramains silent for a while as you let yourself fall to the bathroom floor, your hands clasped on your knees. "You're lying." You whisper, hoping no one hears you. "You have a chance to stop this, Seven you really want to waste it?" He asks, while he lets the faces of all the people who have died or who could do so scroll through your mind. Eddie covered in blood, Hopper holding his missing hand, Murray being devoured by a Demogorgons, Joyce holding Will in her arms and Eleven exhausted to the limit. Steve covered in bruises and blood. Max, still comatose in the hospital. Lucas, Mike, Nancy. All of them. You can save them, maybe. You just have to make the boldest choice: trust the devil. You shake your head, afraid. "It's a trap"

"I don't set traps, Seven, I give freedom to people. Let me save you too." You put your hands to your ears, even if it is useless, to chase his voice away. "Let me save them"

"I know how you save people, I won't let you do that again."

"This time, I could let them go ... Just come with me. You don't want me to kill Steve, do you Seven?" And it's time it breaks you, the image of Steve Harrington's cold, motionless body facing you, eyes closed, lips firmly folded into an eternal aching expression, the bluish color of the bruises mingles with the pallor of his skin and you call him, desperate, and you shake him and he doesn't react. He is a soulless shell. He is dead and you don't realize you've started screaming loudly.

*

"It's not gonna happen." Steve has his hands closed in two fists resting on his hips and shakes his head repeatedly, that's the only thing he can do: say no, try to prevent this madness. The worst thing is that no one else is as convinced as he is, he sees a timid hope in their eyes, the vague hint of assent and that's enough to drive him out of his mind. Is he really the only one he cares about your well being?

"Steve .." You whisper, approaching him as he walks away, pacing back and forth through the small room. If he stops he gets the impression that he might collapse, he's already risked losing Robin, he can't let anything happen to you. He wouldn't forgive himself and he honestly doesn't care that you're a badass superhero with superpowers. Fuck superpowers, protecting you is his job, it has been since you showed up at his house after Billy's beating and his amazing walk in the tunnels with the kids. You, who had literally just closed an immense portal to a scary world and wore the signs of weariness and fatigue on your face, had showed up at his door to check if he was okay.

"I knew you would be alone, it's not safe."

"I'm fine y/n, seriously"

"I'm not saying you're not fine Harrington, I'm saying I don't want you alone."

"No, no! We can't allow it, we know it's a lie. Vecna'll kill her" Steve looks for Hopper, Joyce, someone to listen to him. Hopper sighs and looks at you with regret. After all this time you've become a daughter to him, but the whole world is paying a very high price for this war and he knows that maybe taking some time could be a solution. "It's a possibility, of course" He confirms. "A dangerous possibility though." Lucas steps in, approaching to hug you. "He's weak," Will whispers, drawing your attention. He is pale, half hidden under the covers to save himself from the cold and fever. "I can hear him. Maybe he's not lying." Joyce looks at you hopefully. "He could break the bond with Will so we don't have to ... I mean, hurt him too. And we'll buy some time." They don't need to convince you, you've already made your decision, you just want them to know what to do. "We can't beat him without you." Dustin whispers. "Eleven can and I will take time until she's strong enough to do it on her own." You reply, turning to El. Once again it is Steve who objects. "He will get stronger too in the meantime. Do you realize that it doesn't make sense? It's a suicidal plan." He shouts, approaching you and gently grabbing your shoulders, shaking you.

"Steve, Steve please try to understand" You put your hand on his cheek and caress him softly, for all the times you've refrained from doing it, for all the years you've repressed and hidden your feelings. You let yourself get carried away by his warm and soft skin under your fingertips, the slight hint of beard, the creases around the lips and the scars under the flesh. "You have already decided" His voice is a murmur and it breaks, shattered like glass, his gaze becomes lucid and his grip grows stronger as if to hold you back. "Stay here." And God only knows how hard it is for you to step back, move away from him. Everything around you is still, you don't see anyone else, you don't hear their voices anymore. Steve Harrington is all that matters to you now. "I won't change my mind. It's our only option."

"That's not true, we have other solutions. We can keep fighting." He insists, trying to get close to you again. He is suffering, you recognize the slight shaking in his right hand as he tries to hide it behind, typical of when he is nervous or stressed and the way his lower lip protrudes slightly, like he is about to cry. He keeps silently begging you and is still aware that he is helpless. "No, but it is the only one who will perhaps allow you to live."

"I won't let you" This time he takes a firm step and hugs you tightly. "You can't. I won't let you do it"

"I know Steve, I know" With your face pressed against his chest you inhale his perfume and hide the tears. " Forgive me" You place one hand on his chest and one on his head and use your powers to make him collapse to the ground, unconscious. Holding back a sob and more tears, you manage to hold him close to you so that he doesn't collapse as Hopper helps you to lay him down, his clear eyes serious and worried. "You don't have to do it kid" You hold Jim's hand and don't reply.

In the darkness of the night Vecna collects what is due to him. You walk slowly, his long hand extended towards you. "Welcome home, Seven." With a quick gesture, he spells your memories away, slowly you feel everything you are and know slipping away from you, like words are erased from a sheet of paper as it becomes white again. You didn't know he could do it, none of you did. You feel stupid for getting caught so easily, you try to fight it, to keep something of you but it's not a power you know, you can't manage it. All you can do is concentrate: hide something in the back of your mind, memories in memories, hoping that one day you will be able to unlock them.

"You're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had." Max confesses to you, hugging you, sitting on the sofa in his house. Billy has only been dead for a month, the worst is yet to come for her.

Robin passes you a bowl of ice cream, she has been working at Scoops for a short time. No Russians, no monsters, no war "I don't believe you have never eaten one. How did you survive so far?"

Steve hugs you, his face is covered in bruises from the torture of the Russians and you are still lying on the ground as the Mind Flayer approaches dangerously. Steve shields you with his body while you are so weak and exhausted that you can't even find the strength to move. "Go away, Steve." "You come with me"

Murray takes your by he arm dancing and you laugh with him while Hopper shakes his head. "Come on Murray leave my daughter alone" He has never called you that way before. He must notice too, cause he opens his eyes almost as wide as you do and then, slowly, he smiles sweetly at you.

001 locks you in the attic of the Creel's house, a secret room, a kind of tower hidden under the roof where nobody will ever find you again unless he wants to. There, in the midst of a large dangerous forest in the Upside- down, you will be safe, you are his guarantee, keeping him anchored to this world until the time of destruction comes. Vecna adds protections around the tower. More monsters, bats, vines and do what he has swore, he lets your friends live for now. Max wakes up blind, bones still broken and a long path ahead of her. Eddie ... Vecna lets him go as he promised and what remains of him is an empty shell, a body without a soul, dead, reopening everyone else's wounds. Dustin cries for hours, because in his heart he has hoped that your sacrifice was worth at least Eddie's life and instead it didn't help and he is even more dead than before. Will recovers slowly and for the first time since the day of his disappearance, in that distant 1983, he no longer feels the upside-down stirring in him.

Despite what Vecna does to subjugate you, every now and then a spark of clarity lights up in your mind and in the opacity of your confused eyes, he reads your fear. You don't know why but you know you're in danger and sometimes you instinctively run away. He always takes you back, again inspects your mind and never finds anything new. It's like he's violating every part of you. Eventually he arranges for you to build a wall of vines connected to his mind so that he can hear every attempt to rip them open. It's the perfect prison, an impenetrable tomb. He leaves you in there for fifteen days without talking to you. Something escapes your mind, names on the tip of your tongue you don't know where they come from, distant voices speak to you and they belong to another time. He comes back on the fifteenth day and you still try to resist him.

Another ten days go by. Twenty-five days of total isolation, food and water just enought to make you survive, without knowing who you are, where you come from, what you are like. Why am I here? Eventually one day you stop resisting and Vecna knows he can now create his own weapon. You. All he has to do is wait a little longer, allow his body to recover the lost energy, reborn stronger than before. "Who are you?" You ask one day when he walks into your room. You are no longer afraid of the appearance of him. There is innocence in your voice, something that has little to do with the humans that he despises so much. He thinks about how to answer you, then his gaze falls on your tattoo. 007. "I'm 001" You stare at him. "And who am I?" He grabs your wrist and you let him. "Seven" you read. He has a number too. He's just like you. He's not sure why he has avoided it until now, a real contact with you, but he knows he doesn't want to anymore. "That's a long, sad story." You are sitting on the ground, looking at the dark ceiling and experiencing something new, which replaces fear and confusion: boredom. It grips you, takes you to travel with your mind to the story that One has told you. A bad man took you, used you because you are special and then your sister Eleven betrayed you, she opened a gateway to this world - and you don't know why but you call it the upside-down - and locked you up here, in a world without humans, which is cause of that a perfect place. Humans are bad and Eleven chose them anyway. She chose the bad man and she turned One into a monster. You don't care anyway: he is your brother, he is saving you.

We have to kill humans. They hurt us, they only hurt. Parasites.

The world without them is beautiful, One will show it to you one day, when you regain your strength. You're powerless, he says. He keeps you trapped to keep you safe, it's dangerous. They want to kill you.They want to take what's left of your powers. One promises you that you will train together to recover them and then you will go to the world of men and you will see with your eyes, what you are fighting. Then you will have peace together.

Sometimes One watches you for hours and you never notice, you never turn your head towards him. His plan his working, still there is something about you that has remained secret. Hidden. He understands this when he visits you one night, you are sleeping and when he comes in you don't open your eyes too tired by prigony and by a strange sense of emptiness that sucks you in. You don't eat anymore, you sleep a few hours a night and he knows that he must start making you use your powers slowly, otherwise you will let yourself die. Yet he does not trust you, he must be sure that you will not turn against him. "Are you here to rescue me?" You whisper, clouded minded. He doesn't give you an answer. It's better not to.

"You are here for your own safety," he says simply. "And you will stay here for now"

"I don't want to stay anymore," it comes a desperate plea. "I wanna go home" But you don't even remember what home is. Do you have one? He reaches forward to touch your pale cheek. "This. Is. Home." He's angry. And you're so tired you won't even remember this conversation.

He starts training you the next day, with nastiness and brutality. It's a punishment for what you said, a lesson to put yourself back in your place. "You have to learn to hit, like this" He openes his hand towards you and instantly you are thrown away, you hit the wall and your body protests at the painful impact, immediately like laces those strange vines squeeze your wrists and legs, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze more and more and then let you fall to the ground, stumble down to the floor, surprised by the sudden release. You bite your lip and scrunch your brows, sad and angered by the situation. "Do you understand?" One asks. "What they will do to you is even worse, Eleven will not be as kind as me. She will kill you if you don't kill her first." You get up from the floor and look away. "Are they really this cruel?"

"Oh, Seven. Humans are the worst, you'll learn"

"But why I don't remember anything? I've got this ... Feeling like I'm missing something .. Important?"

"You'll learn. Trust me. I saved you" Yet you don't really feel like he has saved you. At all. After a while you nod, One steps closer and reaches for you cheek wet from tears and you don't even know why you're crying. You keep hearing a voice inside of you telling that something is wrong. "My soldier"

"I will return in two days," One promises as he walks away. "I want you to know how to move these objects when I get back. The next task could ... hurt you otherwise."

*

You find it easy enough to move things, you feel you have strong control over your powers. And so the days go by and moving things around becomes a fight with bat-shaped monsters, then big dogs with a flower head that you slaughter without too much trouble and One hits you often, instigating you to fight with him. This is what they will do to you, he's preparing you for the enemy, sometimes you wonder if this enemy really exists. "Well done, my Seven" he says one day."That's not my name," comes an answer, voice weak. You don't know why you say it, it's not because you think it. The image of an unknown man with light eyes appears in your head, he is tall with a big mustache. Is he the enemy? Yet he looks good, funny.

"What is your name?" The funny man asks. "Seven. But I don't like it, it's not even a name."

"And what name do you like?" You shake your head. "I knew a girl years ago, beautiful and brave, she was called y/n" He says "y/n ... I like it"

"And what is your name?" One asks, intrigued. He took all your memories, there shouldn't be anything left. How is it possible? "I don't know. But I know it's not that." Your mind screams "y/n" but decide it's wiser to keep quiet. You shouldn't have said anything. "Your name is Seven" He states, leaving you. You hug yourself tightly and nod. Everyday, time seems to pass slower. Everyday, existing feels more and more unbearable. You wonder if you're even alive at all. It happens one day, unexpectedly. You don't know how long it's been. One hasn't come to visit you for longer than usual, the last time you managed to hit him, just to move him, but he laughed with satisfaction.

"The time is coming Seven"

You hear a noise, something banging against the wall, muffled voices and you wonder if they are in your head. Then silence. It happens again. There's movement somewhere behind the door, you are scared cause it can't be One and you know it. You've never seen someone other than him as long as you remember, so you take a step back, frightened. There's someone at your door and it's not One, it's a girl, curly short hair, big blue eyes. There's a man, the funny one you saw in -what was that? A memory? -he's different thought, he doesn't have a mustache and his face is hollow and his eyes are darker somehow, and then there is him, a young man in front of everyone, an ax in his hands, his expression shocked. His mouth is open, his eyes veiled with something you don't understand, relief perhaps and amazement. You can't stop looking at him, there is something that chains his gaze to yours, yet you are afraid of him. He confuses you. You feel strange while he looks shocked, only now you notice his worn out clothes, stained with blood, torn in several places and his face covered with dirt, like he has fought for a long time before arriving. Humans.

"y/n" The girl whispers. Y/n. Your name is Seven. You hear One's voice in your mind as you take another step back. "You're in danger, Seven"

"y/n" Repeats the funny man, and he's not funny anymore. "Honey, we're here ... It's okay" he reassures you. You shake your head. "Attack" One orders. You put your hand over your ears as he screams in your head. "Y/n" This time the boy is calling you, his eyes wide open and terrified. He remains motionless in the grip of a presentiment, a visceral terror. Suddenly he is pale, shivering and he looks younger. A little boy. The girl moves towards you, she holds a weapon. "Attack" You remember every time One has pushed you, hit you, hurt you just for this moment to come. Denfed yourself. You reach out and yell at the girl pushing with your powers her small body against the wall. "Nancy!" The boy shouts, running towards her to help her. She has her eyes closed. "I'm fine" she whispers, but her arm has taken a strange angle. You look around, breathing hard like a caged animal and stretch out your hands ready to attack again. The man tries to take a step towards you and you point towards him. "Attack" You don't want to, something in you prevents you from hitting them again and you feel bad looking at the girl in the boy's arms. He looks at you like he just lost someone important and you wonder why, why they seem to care about you. Because they haven't killed you yet, Vecna says. But they haven't even tried. "They will"

You hide in a corner, confused, while other images flow through your mind.

The girl - Nancy- holds out her hand to help you get up. You are on a bed. It is soft. "Nancy I don't know how to thank you." You say, looking at yourself in a mirror - funny, in the present you don't even know what you look like - you wear a dress that is obviously not yours and fits tightly in places. But you are happy. "Don't thank me it's your first ball think about having fun!"

You put a hand over your eyes now, you try to tear them away and you scream afraid. One, he's too is close. You feel it in your veins.

"Go away" You find the courage to look at the man, his clear gaze veiled with worry and pain. "They'll bring Eleven to you. They'll kill you."

"You have to come with us" he replies, reaching out to you. The younger man is now standing behind him, and his eyes are veiled with tears, he's trembling and you feel physically sick under those disappointed look. Steve. A name resonates in your thoughts.

"You're an idiot Harrington "

"Steve! Please don't tickle!"

"Help me Steve!"

"Steve Harrington, I solemnly swear never to steal your candy stash again."

This time you turn to him. "Go away." You repeat, slowly. "He is coming." And you don't even know why, you just feel that it's the right thing, that you want to protect him, that they won't make it with One. The guy suddenly snaps to you, feline, grabs you by the arm hard, almost desperately, then reads the fear in your gaze, the confusion and his touch softens. It's almost like a caress and you think it's nice to be touched by another pair of hands after a long time. Even if they belong to the enemy they can be delicate. "You have to come with us, please" He begs you. There is no more time, One's so close that you can almost feel it in your bones. With a wave of your hand you push them away and somehow manage not to hurt them. They look at you "I'm not letting you!" The young man says, getting up quickly and wiping a trickle of blood from his mouth, eyes tearing up. He's angry. His hands clenched in two fists. "We have been looking for you for so long." He continues as the girl places a hand - the one that doesn't seem broken - on his shoulder and gestures for him to go. "We'll be back, I swear to you." She promises. A heavy presence appears out of nowhere, and you know all hope is lost.

"Go away. Please" The last words come out distorted from your lips. You feel bad. Humans have hurt you and you, you are helping them without even knowing why. They run away, giving you one last glance while you stand still in the center of the room. One is here, in front of you.

[delicateartisantrash]

The Little Details

I got lightheaded today eating a delicious fruit pie, because for one terrible moment, it looks just like the texture of an injury one of my critters had. (She's doing well and healing <3)

So, needless to say, it inspired this little Crosshair drabble.

<•>

You're standing in the kitchen, flour on the counter, on your face, in your hair, and generally disheveled as you stir a large spoon in a big bowl of mashed fruit. The men are off exploring town with their little sister, keeping her entertained and no doubt enjoying the chance to relax, themselves.

In your attempts to be as tidy as possible for a quick clean-up before they get back, you've... Managed to make quite the mess. You stir the jumbled blend of berries and fruit together, the dark red and purple berries quickly overtaking all the colors, turning the rainbow slowly into an even pulp.

It's taking ages though, and your arm and shoulders are getting very tired from using the spoon. You've always done this by hand, so you never bothered to invest in a pestle.

You glance at teh window, noting the first sun is just starting to set. The men should be back soon.

You stare at the uneven, chunky mixture, then quickly clean the spoon off, scraping it clean with the pads of your fingers. You smash your palms into the mix and squeeze, and begin knuckle-kneading-grabby-smashing the fruits into a pulp.

The change in pace and the ease on your arms is immediate, and you grin widely, thinking in delight how you'll be able to surprise Omega and the boys when they come back. You think you'll be able to get it in the oven fast enough, they can question the scent when they come back.

Hunter will probably know exactly what it is, of course, but you think the Sarge will play along for Omega's sake, if not his brothers'.

You humm to yourself as you knead the mixture, already zoned in what you're doing, occasionally cleaning the bigger chunks that get stuck to your arms off to add them to the active mixing area.

A mug shatters on the floor behind you, and something cold splashes against your ankles. Your reaction is immediate as you spin around, heart stuck in your throat, only to find Crosshair staring at you like he's seen a ghost.

You reacted so fast, that you actually catch the last bit of his toothpick's journey to the floor, where it lands without a splash in a thin puddle of coffee. It covers the floor of your kitchen in an impressive splatter strewn with the wreckage of one of the clay cups you served at breakfast this morning.

You had no idea the sniper was still home, he'd been so quiet. You don't think he left with the others and came back -- he may walk with nearly unnatural silence to his steps, but there is no hiding the rusty groan of your entryway door sliding open.

"Are-- Are you okay?" you blurt as you nearly move to rush over to him, your instincts screaming at you that something is wrong and he needs help, except nothing seems to be wrong, and you can't figure out what is so terrifying about your kitchen that he's...

Stars, he's shaking. He's not wearing his full set of armor, just his blacks and part of the leg plates, so it is far more visible than it would have been otherwise. You forget your hesitation, deftly walking around the shattered pottery without having to think overmuch about it, not caring about the coffee getting on your bare feet.

Crosshair's mouth is open like he wants to speak, but he just keeps staring at you with those tortured, panicked eyes. Like he's not certain if he should believe that the things around him are safe. Like he's questioning if you're real.

You want to reach up to touch him, provide some physical form of grounding comfort, because he looks like he's parsecs away from you and wherever that place he's gone is, it's not good. But your hands are covered in goop--

Long fingers wrap around your elbows, just above the fruit stains, with a deliberate strength that startles you into speechlessness as his thumbs hook over the inner bend. He's breathing shallowly, in short, sharp breaths that barely make it past his parted lips.

"Crosshair, what's wron--?"

"You're not hurt?" he says it like he's just seen you get shot dead in front of him, then miraculously come back to life, and something in the way his raspy voice asks that question has a knife twisting in your gut as your heart squeezes painfully.

"No--?" You gasp as the realization hits you. "I'm-- I'm making pie filling, with fruit," you explain breathlessly. You hold your hands up as best you can, the bits of fruit obvious this close up. Crosshair tucks his chin fractionally to stare down at them, his grip on you tightening a fraction.

It's just shy of painful, but you barely even notice.

"I'm okay, I'm not hurt," you assure him gently, repeating it over again until he's finally meeting your gaze with those lost, coppery gems.

"Don't... Don't tell them," he says abruptly, voice hoarse. "About this."

You smile as gently as you can, the only way you know how to face such sharp anxiety, hoping to sooth its jagged edges.

"About what?" you ask quietly, and watch the relief flood his eyes before he lets go of you as quickly as he'd latched on, and takes an awkward step back.

You expect him to leave, but to your surprise, Crosshair immediately turns to work, asking you where the towels and dustpan are as he already knows you don't own any cleaning droids to delegate the task to. You almost tell him that no, it's alright, you'll take care of things--

--but he needs this, you realize; something to do, a task to focus on. So you tell him where they are as you quickly wash your arms and hands off. By the time he's done cleaning up all the bits of pottery, you're discreetly pouring the less-than-perfectly-mashed pie filling into the deep, round crust.

You don't try to be fancy with the top, you get the dough on as fast as possible without being sloppy, and neatly slide it into the oven.

When you turn around, Crosshair is just standing up from the newly cleaned floor. He tosses the used rags into the laundry basket sitting in your hallway, something the men have no doubt seen you do several times during their stay.

"Hey," you say softly. It immediately catches his attention. "If you want to talk, or if you just want company in the silence, I can do either," you invite.

Crosshair fixes you with a long, measured look, then glances away. Before he fully turns to leave the kitchen, his head dips once in a brief, but deliberate, nod you know he knows you saw.

For the rest of their stay, every now and then, you find yourself in the sudden company of the quiet sniper. Particularly when his brothers are being boisterous, as you act like a peaceful shield from their antics. They're too polite risk bothering their host, even Wrecker, who really likes your cooking. Crosshair doesn't say a word, not even a greeting, but he never has to. You smile every time he shows up, a silent invitation, and the edges of his face soften.

[hinatastinygiant]

34 | Stepping into the Light

Pairing: Mikey x Fem!Reader

Undercover Masterlist

It's been about a month since Taiju's lock up and today is the first time you're bringing your two siblings back to your old him. The Black Dragons have started to rebuild their organization thanks to the help of Toman, Takemichi, and you, which you want to prove to your siblings.

As you enter the building, you can't help but notice the big change in the atmosphere. While the physical appearance may be the same, the aura of the place feels different, the place now filled with hope and determination.

Yuzuha grips your hand tightly, clearly feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves. This is the first time she's been here since Taiju's reign ended, and it's understandable that it brings up some emotions.

Once you're inside, Draken approaches with a warm smile, and he and Hakkai do a friendly fist bump. Yuzuha's grip on your hand starts to get sweat, and she eventually lets go, looking visibly nervous. Last week she had opened up to you about her feelings for Draken, even though she knows he likes Emma. You shoot her a supportive smile, but her face remains unresponsive.

"Well, I've got to go see Takemichi for a bit so-" you begin before Draken cuts you off with a smile.

"Mind if I show the two of you around?" Draken smiles as though the three of you hadn't lived here for most of your lives.

"Thanks," you say, grateful for the opportunity to talk without distractions. You then walk off toward Taiju's old office where Takemichi has set up his things.

"Hey, how's it going in here?" you smile softly as you enter the room where you have dozens of horrible memories with your brother.

"Ah, you know," he shrugs as he puts down his phone. "But actually, I do have a question for you."

"Oh? About what?" you hum as you walk toward him.

"Do you still work at that fighting ring you spent some time at before joining Toman?" he then questions you.

You quickly dismiss the idea, explaining that after your abusive experience, you've wanted nothing to do with that place. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, 'cause I just got off the phone with the old owner... I just bought the place," he smiles nervously, as though waiting for you to blow up at him.

"What?! You know Mikey's not going to like that. The hell do you need a fighting ring for, Takemitchy?" you grumble, shaking your head.

"No, no, I know, Y/N. I'm not going to use it as a fighting ring, but I'm going to turn it into a community center. Mikey's always going on and on about a place where people can find support so it made me think of that place," he tells you before his eyes shift to something more serious. 

"Okay so then was that what you were going to ask me? For my support when you go tell Mikey?" you ask him.

"I want you to run it," he gulps nervously. "Y-your old boss won't be involved in any way. You can even be the one to fire him if you want."

You hesitate upon hearing his words, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of the new job. "But what about working here with you? I'm sorry, Mitchy, but I don't think I'll have the time."

Just then, Draken enters the room with your siblings in tow. You take a moment to eye the three of them over before asking Hakkai, "What major did you decide on at school?"

"Uhh," Hakkai begins, looking a bit embarrassed. "I haven't quite decided that yet, Y/N..."

Suddenly, the idea hits you. "Takemitchy, if it's alright with you... could we let Hakkai try out the community center?"

"You want me to do what?" Hakkai gulps as Takemichi's eyes widen.

"Yeah, I think that would be a great idea. Are you interested," he then asks Hakkai.

You turn to Hakkai, and he nods, agreeing that it would be way less stressful than constantly having nightmares about picking what to study. "So, when can I start?" he asks with an excited smile.

"Well, I can have you going by the end of the month. Does that sound good?" Takemichi hums as he looks down at the paperwork in front of him.

"Y-yeah, yes! It does! Thank you so much," your brother continues to beam as he looks at Yuzuha reciprocating his smile.

Just then, Draken chimes in, explaining that the reason why they barged in is because Mikey's outside and wants to talk to you. You then excuse yourself from the room and walk outside where, standing by the entrance, you see Mikey. A small grin grows across your lips as you recall the last time you stood here with him- just before he escorted you to the hospital.

As you step outside, Mikey greets you with a warm smile. "Hey, how's your day going?" he asks.

"Good," you reply, returning his smile. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to take you out for lunch," he says, his eyes sparkling.

You playfully kiss his cheek and say, "Well, I was in the middle of talking to Takemichi about some business stuff."

Mikey chuckles and says, "Sounds important. Anything I can help with?"

You grin, knowing that Takemichi will discuss the community center plans with Mikey soon enough. "You'll find out soon," you tease.

Mikey places his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers, and says, "Let's go."

You look at him curiously and ask, "Where are we going?"

He smirks and replies, "I'm craving some taiyaki."

You chuckle, knowing Mikey's love for the treat, and say, "Of course, you are."

The two of you walk off together, hand in hand, disappearing from view as you head out for your lunch date. The world may still have its challenges and uncertainties ahead of you, but you know that with your siblings and Mikey by your side, you'll face whatever comes your way next. 

THE END

Undercover Masterlist

[young7711]

Never Going to Hurt You Again | Evan (Buck) Buckley x reader

Summary: An ex doesn't like that you have a new boyfriend. You seek comfort in Buck after Brad had showed up at your apartment.

Warnings: abuse, cursing, short asf

You finally made it to Buck's building. You're not really sure how as the last 20 minutes have been a blur.

You raise your hand to knock.

You're shaking. Your eyes transfix on the blood all over your hand.

You bring it to touch your slightly stinging lip.

More blood.

You drop your hand. Should you even be here? Should you even bother him with this? It might make everything worse. He said it would before he left your apartment 20 minutes ago. But as if going through the motions, you're outside your boyfriend's apartment door anyway.

The adrenaline is slowly leaving your body, making you feel the throb on your cheek and the soreness on your arms.

A gift and reminder, as he had put it. From your ex-boyfriend – Brad Thorn.

The abusive ex that no one knew had turned violent. Honestly, you had felt embarrassed to be in that situation and didn't want anyone to know. And then by the time you come to learn his assholery wasn't your fault... You didn't feel like you should bring it up 8 months after the fact.

It had started with a thrown water bottle. It had escalated to leaving bruises where they wouldn't show up. After 3 months of it gradually getting worse, you had broken up with him.

For the most part, he surprisingly had actually left you alone. You had a feeling he was somewhat stalking you, but you had no proof of it. You've seen him too many times for it to be a coincidence, but he's never came up to you.

But then you started dating Evan (Buck) Buckley. The sweetest man on earth. Meeting through his sister, Maddie, you two had hit it off pretty quickly. You see each other almost every day, no matter if you are working or not.

These past few months have been the best with Buck. He was nothing like Brad.

30 minutes ago there had been a knock on your door. Thinking it was Buck that was knocking, you had opened your door, not thinking for one second it would be your ex. Brad's foot caught the door and shoved himself inside before you could slam it in his face.

You physically flinch as you think about his grip on your arm, backhanding you, and yelling how only he is good enough for you.

You don't want to think about what would have happened if your neighbor didn't bang on the wall between you, threatening to call the cops. Brad left you clutching your face with a "this isn't over, bitch."

You hear shuffling around on the other side of the door - probably Buck putting on his shoes before grabbing his keys. He was supposed to come pick you up at your house so you two could go out to eat some lunch.

Your phone rings.

Buck baby ❤️ lights up on your phone.

You pick up. "Hi."

"Hey baby," Buck says through the phone and through the door in front of you. "I am walking out the door n–"

Buck comes to a halt as he swings the door open, only to come face-to-face with the person he is on the phone with.

He blinks, his brain trying to catch up with the marks he sees on your face. Your arms.

"What the fuck."

Buck quickly pulls you into your apartment, taking both your phones and setting them on the table.

"Baby, what happened? Who did this? Where?"

You finally let a tear escape. Then another. And another. You were safe. You were with Buck.

Buck wipes your tears away, careful where a red mark was visible on your cheek. He hated seeing you cry, and whoever did this was going to pay.

"Baby," he moves you to sit on the couch as he gets on his knees in front of you. "You got to tell me what happened."

"It was Brad," you finally say through the continuous stream of tears.

Buck furrows his eyebrows. "Brad? Your ex, Brad? He did this to you?!"

You sniffle as you nod your head. "He... he did it toward the end of our relationship. I - I thought he was leaving me a-alone."

You almost flinch with how mad Buck looks right now, but you know Buck is not Brad and could never be Brad.

Buck stands up abruptly to almost stomp over to his phone on the counter.

He barely texts 'I need to report an assault. Come to my apartment ASAP.' to Athena before Buck is already by your side again. This time sitting beside you, bringing you into a hug.

Still with tears streaming down your face, you latch your arms around Buck.

"It's ok, baby. He's not going to hurt you ever again."

[romanoffsbish]

Chapter 22: I Do

Chapter 21 | Masterlist | Chapter 23 | Words: 2,128

My bodies exhausted, but my mind is restless.

Fortunately, I can already feel my powers kicking back in, allowing me to heal at a faster rate than average. I've been trapped in an incessant, never ending viewing of memories, and I wished it would stop, but now I'm actually finding peace in them. Making me appreciate where I've landed in my life.

—4 Months Ago —

I'm still not used to sleeping more than three hours a night, so I found myself alone in the kitchen with my thoughts. Not really registering that I live with fellow super soldiers and spies who hear everything, and also don't sleep.

I was sipping on a mug of cocoa, thinking of the newfound sense of comfort I've found in the witch, assassin, and metal armed soldier. Completely lost in my thoughts I didn't hear the impending footsteps.

"Hello doll, how are you holding up?" Bucky asks, startling me as he rummages through the fridge, leading me to instinctually go invisible.

"Y/N?" Bucky silently questions as he stares at the now 'empty' space, but then watches as my mug suddenly becomes visible on the counter as I set it down.

"Still here Barnes, you just activated my fight or flight for a second there." I nervously laugh out, bringing myself back to normal.

"Oh good, I was worried you were talking to yourself there Bucky." Natasha laughs, as she walks into the shared space.

"So what if I was Natasha?" He grumbles, slightly glaring her way as he throws ingredients onto the counter.

"Well, then I think it's best if I take Y/N elsewhere, you know, for her own safety." Natasha jokes.

"If that's what you feel is right then by all means, but you'll be missing out on some phenomenal grilled cheese sandwiches if you don't stick around."

"That's fi—." Natasha starts to disregard his indirect offer.

"No freaking way, I'd love a grilled cheese." I beam with a childlike glee.

"Well what are you waiting for Barnes, get to cooking. Y/N and I will be waiting in the common room." Natasha instructs, dragging me out of the room towards the couches.

"We can all watch a movie together." I whisper shout towards Buck, then move to keep up with Natasha's eager pull.

Natasha pulls me down onto the couch, then puts on The Breakfast Club, informing me that this is a must see film. Even though the couch is basically a mile long, I somehow find we're seated shoulder to shoulder.

Bucky shows up fifteen minutes later, taking his place next to me, sandwiching me in between the two. Surrounding me with a warmth that surpasses the physicality.

— 2 Months Ago —

"Natty, would you like to train with me at around 7PM?"

"We trained this morning Y/N/N. Not that I'm opposed per se, but I actually am.

Stark, Banner and Rogers are in there currently. Wouldn't want to interrupt their menage a trois." Natasha playfully remarks.

"Well, how about ice skating?"

"That's not training Y/N/N, it actually sounds more like a date. You could've just asked." Nat replies playfully, wiggling her brows at me.

"Well, for one, it's exercise and sort of like agility training. Anyways, Wands and I will see you later then. Have fun with the boys."

"You two wouldn't dare leave me alone with them." Natasha gasps, and follows with a pout.

*God I'd love to just kiss that pout right off her face.* I think.

*Do it!* Wanda states, interrupting a thought she wasn't invited to.

*Think less loudly, and I wouldn't be here* Wanda quips back, still listening in.

I shake Wanda out of my head, and reply back to Natasha before the length of silence lasts too long.

"But we really would, Wands, let's go." I shout, but then find myself pinned to the floor.

"You said 7PM, so you'll give me until then to get dressed detka, do we understand?."

"Mhm." I hum back, not trusting my words.

"You're right, this is just like our normal training sessions."

I groan in response, throwing her off of me, and walk away to find Wanda, rolling my eyes playfully as I do.

"29 minutes Romanoff!" I shout back, walking away with a goofy smile that's meant to last on my face.

— Two Weeks Ago —

I'm lying in Natasha's bed, waiting for her to start the movie she's selected for me to watch.

Today's film is The Little Mermaid, yesterday's film was Aladdin, and tomorrow is a surprise.

Wands and Nat have taken point in catching me up with pop culture. Stating that they know a thing or two about the catch up, making them the perfect one's to help me.

Wanda's chosen to tackle what she calls "Iconic TV" starting with Bewitched, and the Dick Van Dyke show. She said we will be flowing through the eras together. Natasha gets films, and she's currently on a Disney princess kick.

"Are you ready?" Natty questions me giddily, placing the popcorn down in between us on the bed.

"Yes, I'm always ready for movie night." I reply back with the same enthusiasm, and reaching for the bowl of popcorn.

Natasha playfully slaps my hand away, and instead hands over a takeout container of sweet and sour chicken for me, with an egg roll to follow.

"Eat your dinner first silly girl. Then the popcorn will be here for us to munch on as we find ourselves immersed in the film!" She asserts.

I laugh at her seriousness, and then shove the egg roll into my mouth, moaning in contentment at the flavor almost immediately.

"God, your love for egg rolls is unmatched." Natasha giggles out, while using her chopsticks to bring a bite of her orange chicken and rice to her mouth.

"Look, if someone were to be crazy enough to propose to me one day, the only thing I'd ask for is egg rolls to be on the menu. My future bride could literally instruct me to wear a trash bag, and dance an Irish jig, and I'd agree to it if it meant I could have this delicacy."

Natasha releases a boisterous laugh in response to my apparently "outlandish" dream, and presses play on the film.

~~~

As the memories of my favorite people are rolling through my mind, I start to hear a faint buzzing sound. I realize that my mind is trying to slowly wake up, as now my visions have faded into nothingness. I can't seem to open my eyes just yet, or move my limbs, but I can hear the shuffling of feet, and the sounds of the machines I'm connected to around me.

I'm alive

I must be on some intense pain meds, because I feel pure bliss—leave it to Fury to hook me up. It's silent for quite sometime, leading me to believe they're having a mission debrief, or getting their asses chewed out. Either way, I'm alone with my thoughts, and all I can think of is Natasha, and her broken expression before I passed back out.

After about what feels like an eternity, but is more like twenty minutes, I hear muffled voices before my door quickly opens then shuts. It's silent, but I can feel someone staring at me, but for some reason I still can't open my eyes just yet.

Then I begin to feel feather light movements running up my arms. Then I hear her beautiful voice, greeting me in her mother tongue as she places a sweet kiss to my forehead. I feel an immense comfort fall over my body at the simple gesture.

She begins to speak, and hearing her say she's not sure she's worthy of me breaks my heart. All I want to to do is pull her into my embrace, and reassure her that's she's more than enough.

"You have to wake up soon please, I want to have all of our firsts together, detka."

I'm trying

"Do you ever imagine where we'll end up? Just me and you against the world" She concludes, as I feel the bed dip beside me as she seems to lay her head down.

I do my best to will my body to wake up, trying to prevent her from the stiff neck she's bound to have sleeping like this. It takes a solid minute, but my body eventually complies.

"I do." I choke out, squeezing her hand that's intertwined with mine, and gracing her with a goofy smile.

Natasha's head shoots up, damn near giving me whiplash by association.

As we lock eyes she sends me the sweetest smile, I see her shoulders visibly drop as whatever tension she was holding there is released. Before I have a chance to respond to all she's said, she holds up a glass of water to my lips.

"Drink, moya dragotsennaya devochka." She whisper sweetly into the space between us, slowly tipping the glass.

(My precious girl)

"How are you feeling?"

"Scared, I saw you and thought I woke up in Heaven for a second. You're the physical embodiment of an angel."

She snorts loudly, then quickly narrows her eyes my way, trying to fight off a smile.

"Seriously Y/N/N... Are you comfortable?!" She whines in question, as her cheeks slowly redden.

"I will be when you join me." I say giving my best pout, as I scoot over—against my bodies protests—and smile up to her, tapping the space next to me..

"I don't want to hurt you detka."

"You could never hurt me."

"That's not true." She mumbles sadly.

"Agent Romanoff, get over here and cuddle me right now, that's an order! I kept my promise of coming back alive." I assert, slowly angering at the thought of her blaming herself for anything that occurred.

"Who knew you could be so feisty." She laughs out, while I roll my eyes, and begins slowly climbing into the bed next to me.

"Now, get comfortable, and listen to what I have to say..."I start as she gets comfortable

She hums and gently lays her head on my chest, directly above my heart. She then drapes her left arm over my abdomen, and holds me loosely.

"Natty, let me start with letting you know that this is not your fault. You made the right call, no matter what Strucker was going to come after me. Splitting up actually allowed me the means to escape because the threat of the bombs were too high for him. So he took off, leaving me the window to get back to you as I promised." I state firmly, trying to allow her to understand that she's free of fault here.

"Next order of business, you are insane to think you're anything other than perfect for me. You're more than enough for me Natasha, I mean that. You can't hold your forced upon you past up in front of you as a way to judge your current state of worth. Gosh, I wish you could just see you the way that I do, because you are beautiful in every sense of the word." I all but shout at the clueless, insecure woman wrapped up in my arms.

"There's no need to fight to be worthy of me, because you already are, and I'm already yours. If you want me Natasha, you have me, because I'd love to experience all those firsts with you. So yes, I do imagine me and you, and the life we could have together one day. The possibilities are endless darling" I cheerily conclude.

"You're going to make me cry and that won't be good for my image detka."

"And cuddling with me is?" I chuckle out, quirking a curious brow.

"Well you did order me here, so I was doing my job." She snarks back

"Oh, well you can get up if that's what you want then. Go back to your chair." I remark, knowing full and well she's not moving.

"Nooo, thank you." She whines, burying her face into my neck and gently tightening her arm around my abdomen.

I laugh at her clingy state, moving to slowly rub up and down her back, knowing that her whining is a telltale sign of her exhaustion.

"Get some sleep Agent Romanoff, I promise I'll be here when you wake up." I command, pulling the blanket up and over the two of us, and kissing the side of her face.

"Yes ma'am." She sleepily mumbles, placing a quick kiss to my collarbone, and quickly succumbing to her exhaustion.

Her warm breath fanning over my collarbones, coupled with the usual comfort of having her so close to me brings, I find myself falling back into a peaceful slumber.

Taglist:

@simpforflorencepugh1 @ali-lie

[nikxation]

Okay I'm making a post about this because it's bugging me...

Y'all don't honestly believe Crosshair got his chip taken out, do you?

Proof he still has it in below the read more:

Here's a shot taken from the season 1 finale when they're trapped in the lab, right before Omega comes over to talk to him, when he thinks he has a moment to himself (and I lightened the shot up a little bit to make it easier to see).

He's holding his head, in visible pain. And I know, you could make the claim that maybe he hit his head during the destruction of Tipoca City, and there's a good chance he did. But this gesture is very purposeful either way. The only other time we really see him doing this? Episode 1. When they're all in the holding cell together.

After the rest of the Batch are going off about him suddenly following orders and being all gung-ho for the Empire, and he keeps defending the Empire and saying the rest of the Batch are the ones in the wrong. He sticks to his guns and gets increasingly agitated during the argument before he goes and sits down and starts rubbing his head, groaning very much in pain. It's a very clear implication that his chip is giving him problems, implying that he was disagreeing a bit with the programming and it was causing pain as it was trying to reinforce its directives. He might still have an effective chip, but they confirm later that it's still not fully functional. They have to ramp up its effectiveness to make it work, so up until this, his chip reactions are very similar to Wrecker's.

I also wanna talk about this moment here:

Leading up to this is the following conversation:

Crosshair: Don't you see we're locked up in here because of [Hunter]? He had us disobey orders!

Tech: I never thought you disobeying orders was a problem.

Wrecker: Yeah, we do it all the time.

It's around here that Crosshair very visibly winces, and not in an annoyed way. It's very much an in-pain gesture, like he's shaking off a sudden spike headache. And then, after the wince, he turns around a fires off The Line(TM):

Crosshair: Good soldiers follow orders!

Which is a line we all know... too well. So, why is it significant here? It's not just a callback for the audience, it's important. The Order 66 conditioning programs them to kill the Jedi and follow orders. If a clone attempts to fight back against the order, the chip reinforces it, reminds them subconsciously "good soldiers follow orders" and so, being good soldiers, they comply. When Tup's chip went out of whack, he was saying it non-stop, like his brain was just running the reinforcement on repeat and got caught in a loop. It's a reminder, a nudge in the direction the chip wants them to go.

Here, it's proof Crosshair is fighting the chip (or at the very least is internally disagreeing with it because of what the Batch are saying), and it's trying to reinforce the need to follow orders, and that comes out verbally in the altercation and causes him a short spike of pain in the moment. And then, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Tup, Crosshair, and (eventually) Wrecker the only ones that say it out loud? And they all have f-ed up chips, so the subconscious reminder very much becomes a verbal, forceful one to try to force compliance. Like a loud voice in their head that just... slips out.

So what does this have to do with Crosshair not actually having his chip removed? Well, we've established fighting back against the chip causes him physical pain. We also know Wrecker's defective chip caused him pain and headaches. That becomes a pattern, the repetitiveness of it meaning it's now something to watch out for. We also have reason to believe that, leading up to these moments of pain, the chip was working overtime to get him to comply, stemming from moments of doubt or moments where the orders were internally questioned (leading to "good soldiers follow orders" slipping out as extra reinforcement).

So, let's take a trip back to that first gif, the one in the season finale.

He's in pain, and rubbing the right side of his head (where the chip is). It's a deliberate gesture. They could have had him doing anything else here. They could have just skipped this moment altogether. But they didn't. They made the specific choice to have him sit here holding the right side of his head in pain. And he stops and glances away when Omega walks up because, well, can't show weakness in front of enemies, right?

And what happened leading up to this? Hunter told him the Empire would only ever see him as a number, something that we know from Clone Wars is... very antithesis to the clones and their desire for identity. Crosshair rubbing his head afterwards, a soothing gesture, the very same thing he did after the argument in episode 1, is very purposeful. He knows Hunter is right, and he doesn't like it, and the chip is reinforcing that he needs to follow orders, that he's a good soldier, that he shouldn't question the Empire. They wouldn't have added the gesture for no reason. It's not a red herring, it's foreshadowing.

He still has his chip.

So why did he tell the Batch that he had his taken out? Well, I have 2 theories:

He went to the Empire and asked them to remove it. The Empire, being smart enough to not let a valuable asset have free will for literally no reason that would benefit them, told him they would. They have literally no reason to remove it, it would just create a possible liability, and it would be a waste of resources and time for them. The only reason I could see Rampart actually agreeing to let Crosshair undergo the procedure would be to prove his loyalty like his conscripted stormtroopers. But even then, Rampart doesn't like clones, so I don't see him wasting the time on one. So they pretended to take it out, or just told him they did, and he believed them. But it's still there, he just doesn't know it.

He is well aware he still has his chip, and he fucking lied. Why would he lie? He's trying to convince the Batch to join him, but the rest of the Batch are convinced that he's only doing this because of the chip. So, what better way to convince them to see "his side of things" than to tell them he's making these decisions of his own free will? Maybe if they think he's choosing this, then they'll join too. But of course, he can't see the absolute hypocrisy of that logic.

I like the potential of option 1 (holy hell the realization that they lied to him??? how much conflict that would cause him, he'd probably lose it and snap, and what a hell of a moment that would be). But I think option 2 is more likely (Crosshair is smart enough to realize he doesn't have a scar there, unless there's just an element of willful ignorance forced by the chip).

Also, on that note:

We know from Rex where the scar for the chip should line up.

Right side, between the cheekbone and the ear, up near the curve of the skull, top of the hairline.

The absolute last clear shot of the right side of Crosshair's face before it gets blasted happens on Bracca.

No scar. Which means he didn't have his chip removed prior to Bracca. But if you don't believe that shot (it's not the clearest, I'll give you that), here's one from the same episode while he was on Kamino, as he was informing Rampart of the Batch's position on Bracca.

No scar. We should be able to see the edge of it peaking out of his hairline (if his hair could even grow back in over it at all or that fast). And I highly doubt he ran and got it removed between this moment and going to Bracca (in which case he would probably have a bandage over the spot on Bracca, so it's not likely).

Because of that, the only other options are it got removed while his facial burns were still recovering, or afterwards. But even then, you would still be able to see the very clear, deep, horizontal scar if it was on top of the other scarring. I'm not a doctor, so my word isn't gospel here, but even if they did it while his face was recovering (which, I doubt they would, that's a lot of stress to put on a body), that scar wouldn't just blend in with the scarring of the rest. It's a very distinct, deep cut, very different from facial burn scarring. It would heal very differently and be very noticeable still.

So, all of this is to say that Crosshair still has his chip. I am 99% sure of it. And that last 1% is only because there's the very rare off-chance they're just doing all of this very clear foreshadowing and hinting to throw people off, which is bad storytelling, and Filoni and team haven't been known to throw red herrings like that before, not this blatantly. That, or it's on accident, which I really don't think is correct (again, him rubbing his head in the finale is very pointed).

So, yeah, everyone calling Crosshair evil and everything... He's still chipped. Chill out.

Morning edit: I would also like to point out that, story-telling wise, the writers immediately introduce doubt the moment Crosshair tells the boys he doesn't have his chip. They make it a thing for Hunter to very pointedly stop and check to see of Crosshair has a scar (and he can't be sure because of all the facial scarring, Hunter not having the benefit we had of seeing Crosshair up close before Bracca happened). They very easily could have left that moment out, but they chose to include it because it seeds that feeling of uncertainty, of doubt. They're setting us up for the reveal later by mildly hinting from the get-go that it might not be the complete truth. Little details in this show like that have meaning, otherwise they wouldn't have wasted the time/effort animating and including it. Just like how they took the time to have Crosshair holding his head or wincing in pain. It's part of the fun of animated shows; it's all deliberate.

[bonny-kookoo]

I NEEED a part two to that snowball angst

Does Jungkook come back and find her missing?

Do Namjoon and Yoongi come back and find her missing?

Do they go and look for her?

Does she get hurt?

I NEED ANSWERS BONNY!

Something buzzes on your wrist, catching you off guard on the small spot you sit on near the colorfully lightened pond.

[Tag Alert] blinks on the small display of the watch-like hybrid safety device you remember getting when you were given into the care of the company and simultaneously the boys. You know what it means- someone's trying to locate you right now. But who? And why?

Does it matter?

You swing your legs back and forth on the bench, heels hitting the concrete slab beneath every now and then while you drink your sugary sweet drink in your hand. Hoseok would always get that exact one every time he'd go see a doctor for anything needing to be done as a treat of sorts- but you're a big dog now. You can get these all you want now.

You can make up your own treats.

You can hear the soles of someone's shoes scratch over something, before a person drops down the wall behind you, almost slipping a little. "There you are!" Jungkook's familiar voice asks, the only thing apart from his sense that you could identify him by since he's covered by facemask and dark bucket hat. "What're you doing all on your own, hm? Did something happen?" He worries a little, squatting down in front of you with his hands on your knees to look up at your face.

You shake your head. "No." You shrug. "Just wanted to go out. S' all." You say, and he lowers his brows into a frown, visibly not convinced. "How was your date?..was she nice?" You ask, and he seems confused now.

"What date- you mean my physical exam? Same as always, just a bit taller than last year. And yeah, the nurse was nice?" He wonders, until he seems to realize. "Wait- you thought I went on an actual date?" He asks, and you look down into the cup in your hands.

"Doesn't concern me anyway.." you mumble. "You deserve a nice girlfriend and all that." You say, but he shakes his head.

"But I've got you?" He wonders, palms running over your thighs in an attempt to reassure. "I don't need anyone else." The idol tries to clarify.

"I'm on my own." You tell him. "I finished gathering all documents.. n stuff for independent living. I'm pretty sure I'll get it approved." You say, trying to seem excited about it.

"If you.. truly want that, I won't say no. I've got no right to decide that for you." Jungkook offers in a tone that's surprisingly serious. "But don't do it because you think that's needed so we can be happy. I know I'm happiest when you're with me." He explains, and you lower your head.

"I.. you know, maybe, but when you have a girlfriend one day-" you argue, and he chuckles.

"But why a girlfriend?" He wonders.

"Boyfriend, who cares what you wanna go for-" you sigh, and he still smiles with his eyes.

"I wanna go for you." He shrugs softly. "I wanna go out with you. Have you as my girlfriend. I thought I made that pretty obvious?" He smiles, leaning his head to the side.

"I- but I'm a-" you start, though he won't let you finish properly.

"-a very sweet and funny and caring and pretty and lovable little being that I want to have around me all the time." He talks over you. "I don't care about anything but you. Being with you. Just the idea makes me all warm inside." He says. "Do you want that too?" He asks, and you squirm. You do- but at the end you know you can't have what you want. "No, don't think of an answer that'll be what's best for me. I want that answer." He says, poking your heart. "I wanna know what that wants."

"That thing is running on nothing but daydreams and wishful thinking." You sigh. "So that thing is useless."

"Definitely not." He disagrees. "Cause mine beats just as fast as yours does right now. And I think I know why." He cheekily comments.

"Thats all the sugar." You try and avoid it, before he leans closer, pulls down his mask to place a short peck just close to the edge of your lips.

"Hm no, that's not the sugar." He laughs at your scandalized face.

"Jung-" you force yourself to hiss a but quieter. "Jungkook, what if someone sees?!" You worry, and he laughs.

"Then let me take you back home, where you belong." He offers kindly. "Where it's just us, where no one's looking, where you're safe and sound. Please, puppy- don't shut us out like that just because you're scared. Don't shut me out." He says now a bit upset, and you can see the way his eyes shimmer, all round and pleading as they watch you. "I love you."

"I love you too but-" you start, but he instead begins to visibly light up, getting up to grab your hand.

"No buts." He shakes his head, squeezing your hand as he leads you back to his place. "None of that. I love you, you love me too-" he says, swinging your hands a bit,

"-and I won't let anything ruin that for us."

[glitterge1pen]

Have You Ever Considered Craft Supplies Instead Of Drugs? Then This Might Be For You.

Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, 1,691word count 

His room for the most part was clean. It’s main function was for sleep though. This was apparent. His clothes, which were mainly basketball shorts and blank t-shirts, were scattered about in a way that told you he threw them there when going to bed.

Kyotani had told you to give him a few minutes, while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and struggling with the cap of his eyeliner pen. You felt comfortable enough in his apartment to check the fridge and see if anything was worth your while. But still you felt a bit like an intruder in his bedroom, which is where you had wandered off to.

The walls were white, mostly bare. There was a poster up for some band you didn't recognize, and another one advertising the Sendai Frogs that looked like he had ripped it off one wall to get onto his. You smiled at the thought of him stealing the poster from the grocery store display window or stadium parking lot.

You give his room one last once over before turning to leave. On your way out you trip over a shoe box. You would have just ignored it but a few tufts of paper flew out from the lid. You bend down to collect them but find that these aren't just trash from the shoe box. Quietly, and with a tinge of guilt, you kneel down to gently put the papers back in the box. The little scraps of paper you had found were actually sticky notes, you couldn't decipher the writing on them because of how faded and old the paper was.

You get one quick glimpse inside the shoe box on Kyotani’s floor. There are dozens of papers, printed photos, receipts, tickets, and what you assume are old keys. You feel like you've seen something very private of Kyotani’s and when you turn around to find him standing in the doorway, you gasp in shock.

“What are you doing in here?”

He seems more concerned and confused about you versus the fact that you are in his room. You decide sarcasm is the best choice of action.

“What? You embarrassed about me being in your bedroom?”

“Shut up and get out!”

Kyotani puts his hands on your shoulders and tosses you out into the hallway.

“Hey, hey, what time is it because we might actually be late to the movie now,”

You say pulling out your phone to get a glance at the clock. There was only twenty minutes before you were supposed to be at the theater.

“We’ll be fine, the trailers always play for too long anyways”

He says leading you out the front door.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

When the team wins a game and you head out to eat with the guys afterwards, your eyes don't usually follow Kyotani’s hands so closely. You hope that no one else has picked up on your new habit. But last week's venture into his bedroom has left you reeling in thought.

Kyotani doesn't really like to be hugged. During movie nights he sits separate from the pile of pillows and bodies. He tolerates head pats and high fives. When he hangs up the phone you can feel how difficult it is for him to say something like “bye I love you” platonic or not.

You hadn't really considered it before, at least not so intently in relation to Kyotani. Most people were easy to understand in their affections and how they garnered it. Or if they weren't so obvious, they made some sort of distinction, a simple “I don't like when people do this” or “I prefer this”.

Being friends with Kyotani you had assumed that he was content with what people gave him because he never asked for more. He didn't hug you when you two parted ways, and you never forced him to. He didn't ask or push on others boundaries but now after seeing that shoe box you wondered why he had never advocated for his own. You thought perhaps it wasnt that Kyotani disliked those other forms of affection or care, but rather he didn't regard those other acts as affections at all.

The sounds of the restaurant fade back in as your thoughts simmer down. You feel Tsukishima and Yamaguchi next to you. Enthralled in a conversation about some show they had been binging together. Apparently Yamaguchi had watched a few episodes without Tsukishima and everyone found the annoyed, bitter expression on Tsukishima hilarious, the table erupting in laughter.

“You good? You've been staring at nothing for five minutes,”

Kyotani said to you before taking another bite into his food. He sat across from you, his elbows propping him up over his plate of food.

“Yeah, just tired today,”

You say shaking your head as if trying to wake yourself up.

As the evening wears on, your eyes still follow Kyotani’s hands. Trying to catch the moment of thievery in action. To see if your contemplations are grounded in Kyotani’s actions or rather thoughts with nothing to hold as they pass you by.

But as everyone files out of the restaurant, the bill already split, the copy of the receipt abandoned on the table, you watch as Kyotani lingers for just a moment, to pocket the slip of paper.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You couldn't remember the last time you had attempted to burn a CD. Was it you who did it or a friend? It was years ago though that was for sure. You had made three playlists on spotify, checking and double checking that they were private playlists. After arranging them and finding the songs that fit just right with each list you started finding youtube videos of each song. From there you converted the links to MP3 audio.

While your computer whirred and the audio filed loaded onto the disk you thought about decorating the CD cases. Of course covering the clear plastic case with glitter gel pen and cute stickers was very tempting. But you weren't sure that was Kyotani’s style. At the same time this was supposed to be a gift from you. You met yourself halfway.  Decorating one CD case like how you would have wanted, and the other with more of a Kyotani flair, the third somewhere in between the two.

When the CD’s were done you carefully placed them into their new plastic homes. Grabbing a black sharpie to scribble the playlist names onto each. You felt like wrapping them would be too extravagant so you settled for tying a ribbon around the two.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“What the hell do you want?” Kyotani says as he pulls up next to you on the curb outside your place. You had texted him earlier while he was at work, asking if could stop by after he got off. He has the window rolled down and you take it upon yourself to unlock the passenger door and climb inside.

"I wanted you to test these out"

You were hoping that you had done everything right with the computer.You hand him the CD's, he flips them over in his hands inspecting them.

“Is it cool if I take these ribbons off?”

You nod and he turns the car radio on to insert the CD’s. As the first song starts playing you turn to him.

“This is that band you like right? The one on that poster in your room?”

Kyotani is visibly flustered by this.

“Yes? Did you...did you make these for me?”

You throw your head back in a laugh.

“Yes, I made them for you,”

“Oh,”

He says in a rather soft amazed tone.

“Look, I didn't mean to, but when I was in your room the other day I tripped over that shoe box you have,”

You keep your eyes trained on the street outside the dashboard window. Unsure and a bit nervous to see what Kyotani is thinking. Tempted by curiosity though, you do look at him for a brief moment, only to find him also intensely staring off into the street. His face lit up red with embarrassment.

“I’m glad that I saw it though. Because that stuff is important to you and I want to know what you think is important”

The air in the car feels like it is clinging to your skin with tension. You think the pressure will start to crack your bones when Kyotani’s voice splinters the suspense.

“It's easier to feel something when its tangible, when you can hold it, it's why people still buy polaroids and go to museums and shit”

You nod, a jovial ease overcoming you as he continues to speak.

“I don't really like, uh, I guess physical affection or even talking or it’s not like talking, people call it words of affirmation or whatever,”

You hold the smile of your lips down, you don't want him to think you’re teasing him in this moment. You're just happy that he is comfortable enough with you to say such things.

“I know lots of other people like to have those types of things though, and I worked really hard to get used to stuff, but I don't know, this is what I like,”

He says gesturing with the CD case to you.

“I mean so like, birthday cards, post-it notes, bus transfers? Things that are directly attached to memories and people? Anything else you want me to know about?”

While it hurts a little that he’s struggling to talk about this matter, you can't help but revel in the unusual brash shyness of Kyotani. He does mutter something, but when you lean in closer to signal that you didn't hear him the first time he repeats himself.

“Event pamphlets. I know it's trash but I like it”

“Promise you won't get mad?”

You drawl your voice out and make it sweet so he knows you're messing with him.

“Hm?”

He says, eyebrow quirked in question.

“I think you'd be really into scrapbooking”

“Shut the hell up before I kick you out of my car”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: Took a break from my current writing obsession to spit this out .

[allthingskakashi]

•| Right Now Is All We Have|•

[ Kakashi x Reader]

You're awakened by the feeling of something plopping down on the mattress, filling up the empty space beside you.

You open your eyes and squint in the dark, as an arm drapes over your stomach.

"Kakashi..." you groan.. "Sorry i fell asleep waiting"

Kakashi lays silent and motionless beside you, face buried down into the bed. The weight of his arm on your stomach makes you unable to move. You plop yourself up against the pillow and his arm falls to your thighs. You check the time on clock on the bedstand, it reads 2:06 a.m.

You look at the man beside you, looking so weary as if he's resting his body after ages, which he probably is. The black vest he's wearing reveals the many wounds and bruises on his arms.

It pained you to see Kakashi like this, but it was something you had to get used to.

You place one hand on his head and start softly stroking his silvery hair, rubbing his back gently with your other hand.

"Tough mission?" you ask, your voice tender.

Kakashi stays quiet, putting his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. You know it means yes.

He was gone for one whole week, sent to pursue an enemy. The mission was supposed to be over in three days but it stretched on. You were worried sick but the Hokage had assured you that everything was fine. But it still hadn't pacified the restlessness in you. Who knows what they had to do? Maybe Kakashi had to kill someone, maybe his team lost a member... You didn't wanna ask yet.

You continue rubbing his back, trying to soothe him as much as you can. His muscles seem to relax under your touch.

"Did you eat yet? I put your food in the oven so it stays warm, I wasn't sure when you'd be back"

Kakashi still doesn't say anything. By the looks of it, he hasn't showered yet so he probably hasn't eaten. This is starting to worry you now. This wasn't the first time Kakashi returned from a mission so... drained. Not just physically but emotionally as well. You hated what these missions did to him. But there was nothing you could do. All the horrible possibilities about what may have happened swarms inside your head, making you nauseous.

"Kakashi... You're worrying me. Let me fix up your wounds at least" you say, basically to the dark now, your voice pleading.

Kakashi stirs, taking his time lifting up his head to look at you. You gaze at what you can make of his face in the light coming from the streets through the window.

His otherwise beautiful face looks sunken, eyes marked with dark circles under them. Dirt and sweat are smeared across the visible areas of his face, streaks of dried blood on his forehead.

Your heart sinks, making your eyes well up.

"Kakashi..."

You slide down on the bed and pull Kakashi's face to your chest, holding him tight. You plant a few kisses on the top of his head. He puts his other arm around you, gripping you with both arms.

You stay that way for a long time, in complete silence. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking away.

"Y/n.."

Kakashi says after a while, against your chest. The tone of his voice makes you anxious.

"Why do you care so much about me? I am not worthy of it."

The sudden statement takes you by surprise. But this wasn't the first time Kakashi said something like this either. You try to suppress the quiver in your voice and speak, keeping your tone firm.

" I care about you because i love you. And i love you because you deserve every ounce of love in the world."

He's silent but you know he's listening, so you go on.

"I know you don't like to think so, but i do. You can try pushing me away as much as you want, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and hold you and keep holding you until you realise that you ARE worthy. Of happiness, of love and of everything you think you aren't worthy of."

Kakashi's head sinks further into your body.

"I don't know what happened in your mission Kakashi..", you continue "but you aren't responsible for it. Okay? You're an excellent shinobi and an even better person and i know you care deeply about your comrades and would give your life for them. So no matter what happened... It's not your fault." you speak into his ear, holding him close the whole time.

You feel worn out from trying to sound strong and not allowing yourself to simply break down. But you know you need to be strong right now, for Kakashi. You need to be his shoulder to lean on.

Kakashi is quiet again, half of his body wrapped around you. His grip is so firm, like you're made of dust and you'd slip through if he didn't hold you tight. He doesn't say anything for so long you think he's fallen asleep. You rest your chin on his head, every cell in your body overflowing with love for him. My baby, my beautiful, beautiful baby.

You're about to doze off too, the familiar feel of Kakashi beside you after so long gives you the comfort that was missing all these days and you feel at peace inside, like you can actually sleep again.

"Y/n.." Kakashi's soft voice permeates through the foggy thoughts of your drowse. You open your eyes.

" Marry me."

You're fully awake now, all your senses heightened. Did you hear that right? Or are you still in a trance? You lift your chin away from over his head and try to look at his face, wondering if he's murmuring in his sleep.

"W-What?" you ask, feeling stunned.

Kakashi looks up at you and speaks in a soft, clear tone. " Marry me, Y/n."

You are dumbstruck. No word or sound escapes your mouth. You look at him, stupefied.

Kakashi unwraps himself away from you and quickly gets up with a jump in a hurry, turning the bedside lamp on and hastily disappearing from the room.

You sit upright on the bed now, neither your body nor your mind functioning. You wait, unsure of what's happening.

Kakashi scurries back into the room in a few seconds. You notice him holding a tiny blue velvety box in hand. He hurries on to the bed, and sits facing you, one leg folded and the other hanging by the side of the bed. He takes your hands in his, his tone is urgent, nervous. He speaks so fast you're having trouble keeping up.

"Y/n, i was going to wait for later to do this, think of something special to do for you, maybe buy you some flowers, I don't know, I'm not good at this and I don't know how someone like you ever fell for someone like me but you're the biggest blessing in my life, you're all i have and I don't want to lose you. You're the only thing standing between me and the insanity that would've consumed me if it weren't for you. I was going to wait but--

Kakashi lets out a heave, out of breath from speaking so much so fast. He pulls down his mask, unveiling his face which is ridden with so many emotions. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out, recomposing himself, and squeezes your hands.

Your heart is so full, you wait for him to finish just so you can kiss him. You realise your cheeks are damp with a steadily flowing stream of tears.

Kakashi continues, speaking slowly in a clear voice now.

"I was going to wait but I don't want to wait any longer. There's no knowing whether I'll live tomorrow, all i have is now and right now, i am lucky enough to be here with you, to be loved by you.. and I want to let you know how much you mean to me, right now. I..I love you Y/n. I don't want to lose you.. I don't know how many years of life fate has in store for me, i always thought I'd die young but i made it till here and I'm glad i did because i found you, and i want to spend whatever days i have remaining, with you. Loving you, and allowing myself to be loved by you."

Kakashi takes a ring out of the box with slightly trembling hands and clasps both your hands in both of his, looking into your eyes with a piercingly earnest gaze.

"So will you ma-- Oh wait, I'm sorry" ,he shakes his head, fumbling nervously. He hurriedly gets down to the floor to kneel on one knee, making sure he's doing this right.

You chuckle at this, your vision blurry through your tears. He's smiling too, eyes shining bright. There's hope in them now and not just sorrow. He kneels on the floor, holding your hand in one hand, and the ring in the other. You're both grinning at each other like idiots now.

" So will you marry me, Y/n?"