#i don't like bald men but i can make an exception

[theartbishop324]

I have something to say...

[007reid]

coffee caramels. spencer reid

this is my submission for the cm meet cute (or not) challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins ! i did VERY loose research on the stuff spencer sprouts off on because i am not our boy genius so sorry if there are any inaccuracies ':( this is my first time writing for spencer but i literally love it so much and i'd love to write more so plz flood my inbox with requests for him plzzz 😭

pairing: fem!reader x spencer reid

prompt: character sits next to a stranger in the theater, but the two end up bonding when there's a technical glitch.

warnings: slightly grumpy!reader and sunshine!spencer my fav trope <333 confident reader, reader makes the first move, spencer being a bbg and blushing a lot ;)) all the good stuff

word count: 2.7k

you arrived at the theater ten minutes early, bee-lined to the popcorn section and asked for extra butter. you loaded your oily popcorn up with coffee caramels and chocolate-covered coffee beans and bought a large coke. you walked in the theater, confident and fully armed with enough caffeine to hopefully keep you awake during the entire thing. you have tape in your bag to peel your eyes open just in case things go south, but you're confident enough to believe that it won't.

because it can't.

"aelita," your professor had said on friday, "is a russian phenomenon, and it is one of my top favorite films. considering how you are all in a russian literature class, i can make the safe assumption that you are all interested in russian culture."

now, not only were you in a russian literature class as an elective like two-thirds of your class, you were also a russian literature and poetry major. how you ended with that major baffles you and there hasn't been a day where you wanted to choose another major, but there hasn't been a day where you weren't depressed about your poor decision-making either. it's a battle you fight every day.

"aelita was first screened in 1924, and this year, next week, there will be a worldwide re-screening of the film in its originality, no edits, completely authentic, except with added subtitles for those who need it, of course," this was when your professor got very stern. "i want all of you to go and watch it. if you don't want to, fine, but there will be an assessment grade on this movie. this is not optional. i believe that the content of this movie is very true to our..."

at that point you had stopped listening, because you knew what your professor wanted you to do, and you dreaded doing it.

two hours, silent, black and white, russian film with subtitles. and you have to hang onto the movie's every word.

not your ideal saturday night plans, but for your academic career, you were willing to take that leap; looking like a sore loser at the empty theater with black framed glasses on instead of getting fucked up in someone's bathtub. it's fine. the partying was all up to the business majors anyway.

when you walked into the theater, it was, understandably, vacant, save for a couple men and women with graying hair or bald scalps and bad backs. you were clearly not the target audience. none of them had snacks on them either, and you felt awkward being the one responsible for the strong aroma of butter and coffee that stuffed the place the moment you walked in. a gentleman coughed in his hanker-chief and flared his nostrils. you were intimidated already.

you tracked down your seat and decided to not let any of it distract you. you needed a good grade on this assessment. you had already bombed your previous test on the imperial era; you don't need another bad grade stacked on top of it. you're acing this test, no matter what, and you're going to absorb this movie so well that it might as well be your favorite.

as you waited for the film to start, you munched on several of the coffee caramels, the caffeine slow to kick in. you shrugged it off. there's a whole bucket of sugar to fuel you through the film.

in midst of biting into a shelf of a chocolate-covered-coffee-bean, you heard a light thud and a hiss, and the quiet muttering of "i'm good, ow." an old man by the stairs called out;

"you alright, son?"

"yes sir," the man said. despite being alright, he was limping to his seat, and you watched him attentively, for there wasn't much else for you to observe. he limped closer and closer to you by row, ticket in his hand and checking the letters on the rows. he stopped at your row, and then walked crookedly and settled down in the seat right next to you.

you chewed on your popcorn as you directed your attention somewhere else, your determination slightly deflated. the film was late into starting, but you were still going strong.

"oh wow," you heard the man mumbled next to you, and looked over to see what he was talking about, nosy. but he was looking at you.

"what?" you said indignantly, immediately dropping the oily popcorn in your hand and wiping at your mouth, feeling oddly self-conscious. but mostly irritated. you'd say you hid your whiplash pretty well when you saw how pretty the man was when you looked over at him. you were so smooth with it. "chocolate on my face?"

"what? oh, no," the man breathed out a small laugh. he's got a soft, shy voice that got your insides feeling like broken tomato bits.

"then what?" you demanded, but not too authoritatively because you didn't want to chase him away. you kept it cool and in control. totally. it was hard to find eye candy in quantico, and the last place you would expect to find someone so pretty is in the theater for a fucking silent film.

even though it was dark, you could still catch the bright blush that crept up the man's neck, but it might be because he felt hot under all those layers. seriously, he was dressed like your grandpa, sweater vest, tie, collared shirt and all, but it was tied together in some kind of way that made it work, and it was the way the man carried himself that made him look youthful in all those ancient clothing.

"nothing," he ducked his head away, "i was just talking out loud."

you didn't have to be sherlock holmes to know that he was lying. "you liar," you accused, wiping your hand even more aggressively over your face. "i do have something on my face, don't i? just tell me if i do!"

"you don't have anything on your face!" he said, an indecisive and uncracked smile playing on his lips. you grumbled and turned back to look at the screen, still waiting for the film to start, popping candy in your mouth. in was silent for a merciful while, until the man said, "did you know that dmitri shostakovich conducted the music for this film and during its first showings in leningrad since the film was silent he came personally and played the piano whenever the soundtrack would be playing?"

you hummed. no you did not.

"i was surprised when i saw you, you don't look over sixty at all," the man continued. you didn't know how to take this piece of information as a compliment or an insult. "whenever i come to these things, it's only me who doesn't have grey hair. well, some people dye it, which looks pretty obvious because you can't really hide age, y'know?"

usually you'd be annoyed. very annoyed, in fact, you'd switch seats to be away from the guy. but this one's got a nice voice, and the moment he sat down you caught a scent to him immediately, that old cashmere and cotton scent that comes from old, thrifted clothes that you'll find dug deep somewhere in your grandmother's basement or in vintage stores, and sugar cookies and mint and coffee. it's a good smell, is all. you weren't being creepy about it.

"i'm not over sixty," you assured him. "just scraping twenty-two."

"oh! i'm twenty-two too!" the man said excitedly. he had child's glee to him, which you found more endearing than annoying. you didn't know why. you didn't know why you were still sitting with the man instead of scurrying three rows away like you would have normally the moment any stranger tried to attempt small talk with you.

maybe you were a changed woman.

"how crazy," you mused. you didn't sound half as interested or excited as the man did, but he had most definitely got your undivided attention. you nature tells you to not show it.

"how did you hear about this movie? i tried to get some of my friends to watch it with me, but none of them were too interested...except emily, she's usually more interested because she can speak russian but she got plans this weekend," his face fell into a thoughtful frown at the end, and the clockwork in your brain started to turn at the mention of 'emily.' was that his girlfriend? special lady? you shouldn't be googling, then.

"my professor created an assessment for this movie," at the man's inquiring look, you explained further, "it's for my russian lit class."

his eyes shone like a fucking diamond at that, as if russian lit was the most exciting thing he had ever heard of in his life. you could tell that you were looking at the kind of guy who would decline a party full of seniors to go read a dictionary at home. "is that like an elective you take? 'cause it's a subject that fascinates me a lot, but the demand for it is so slim that--"

he was cut off by the movie finally starting and flickering to life. you turned away immediately, eyes focused and attention zeroed onto the introduction screen. screw the pretty boy for now, you thought, you might as well pack your things and go back to your hometown if you fuck up this movie's assessment. it needed your attention.

black and white and grimy, a pretty font wrote 'aelita, adapted by alexei tolstoy.' but as soon as the film started, the picture quickly collapsed, blurring and then fading into black. with the audience being so small, there wasn't much commotion but whispers of confusion began to arise as the lights began to bleed more yellow, lighting up the theater more. it was as if the movie was over.

"sorry folks," a voice came from the grainy megaphone above all of them. "some trouble with the tape. we are trying our best, but not sure of our luck. all tickets will be refunded if bought online or you bring your ticket to us for a mark so you can present your current ticket right now at the next showing. thanks for your patience."

you looked exaggeratedly around, and the man in the sweater vest next to you looked equally as disappointed.

"my professor is not going to believe me," you muttered under your breath, but the man caught it anyway and chuckled quietly. you looked down at your still full bucket of popcorn and your large coke. you glanced over to the man next to you, not too smart things lottering around in your head. you travel through the subway, and the ride to your street is not until two hours. you weren't going to spend it morosely eating popcorn in the waiting lobby.

"is emily your girlfriend?" you asked suddenly. there was no point in being shy. the man's mouth unhinged from his jaw immediately, and you stared at him. his cheeks quickly stained an innocent pink.

"what?" he squeaked, his voice a higher pitch, caught off-guard. "no! no, she-she's my coworker!" he sounded almost offended.

this took you by surprise. you didn't know people who were close to their coworkers existed. "so you don't have a girlfriend?"

the blush on the man's face kept getting brighter and brighter. you bit your lip to keep from smiling like a fool. with how endeared you were by him, it's strange to think that you don't even know his name yet. it was rare for you to really be so mindful and think such soft things about somebody, especially to a stranger.

you were a changed woman. but maybe it's because of the coffee caramels messing with your head. sugar and caffeine tend to do that.

"no," the man said, then cleared his throat. he was fiddling with his fingers, an obvious stim. "no, i don't have a girlfriend."

"sweet," you grinned, "then no one would mind if i take you on a date, would they?"

he choked and got engulfed in a coughing fit, bending over in his seat. the red of his sweater vest nearly blinded you but you patted his back supportively. when his coughing ceased and he sat back up again, his eyes avoided yours for a while as he fought to keep the redness in his face down before he looked at you again.

"so?" you raised your eyebrow. "the night doesn't wait, pretty boy."

the nickname just slipped out of your mouth, and you cringed at the weight of it. how out of pocket. you were going to go home and contemplate this conversation later. but right now, you were trying to take out probably the sweetest looking boy you've ever seen, and that was a more important matter as of.

"okay," he said, and that was that.

"okay," you repeated. "let's start with finishing this, yeah?" you looked down at your bothersomely big bucket of popcorn. "we can walk to the park and eat it and feed it to the ducks."

"actually, it's not safe for ducks to consume popcorn because it causes digestive issues especially if consumed in large quantities and disrupts their natural diet," the man recited matter-of-factly, blinking at you obliviously as if he just didn't acted like a fucking android. you huffed out a laugh. handsome and smart. pretty much a package deal.

"the popcorn will be just for us then," you promised, standing up. he followed suit, as a lone line of people started to exit the theater. "i hope you aren't a serial killer in disguise," you said jokingly, but not really, because that was a genuine threat. he laughed. it was a sweet, syrupy sound that you could soak up and not get sick of for a long time.

"that's ironic," he mumbled, and it flew past your head, you being too busy maneuvering out of the rows.

"what was that?"

"nothing," he smiled, bright and easy. the initial nervousness was already beginning to melt away. when you were side by side, his hand accidentally brushed yours and when you looked up at him, he was already looking another way, pretending to be distracted by the movie posters but the red in his ears and neck gave it away. you smiled to yourself and grabbed his hand, holding your bucket of popcorn in the other.

"i forgot," you said, suddenly. his head whipped around to face you, but not before lingering his gaze at your intertwined hands. "i didn't get your name."

it was a foolish thing to say, you were holding a man's hand and you were pressed up side-by-side against him and you don't even know his name. he smiled softly, though, like he didn't mind. "i'm spencer reid."

"i'm y/n y/l/n."

"hi y/n," spencer said. you exited the theater and he started slightly swinging your joined hands. you laughed, the popcorn and candy in the bucket rattling and threatening to spill but you didn't care. "i'm a little disappointed," he said, pouting a little bit, bottom lip jutting out. "i was excited for the movie."

you breathed out an incredulous laugh. what a guy.

"i wasn't," you said, honestly. yours and spencer's arms were still swinging, and you resisted the uncharacteristic giggle bubbling at your throat. "rather be doing this instead." unexpected date at the park with a pretty boy in a red sweater vest or a boring silent film? the answer sounded pretty obvious to you.

"hm," spencer hummed, amused. "i guess i can catch the movie some other time."

"you can catch it with me," you blurted, and it sounded too early to say. you haven't had a proper conversation with the guy yet, you didn't know what he does and how he is, you didn't know whether or not he has a cat or a dog or a parrot or a ferret or if his room is kept tidy or messy, and you didn't know how much you were going to like him once the night is over. asking for a second date when the first one hadn't even started felt like too much, but it also felt like the right thing to say.

and if it's right, it's good enough for you.

spencer smiled shyly. when you turned right on the street, he pulled you back by your hand and redirected you left. "let's go the scenic route," he said, casually, and you could tell by the magenta tinge in his cheeks and the way he was firmly looking forward, avoiding your eyes that he wasn't feeling as casual as he sounded.

"want some of my popcorn?" you offered, feeling the large bucket was burdening you.

"oh, no thanks," spencer said. "i'm sure the pigeons will appreciate it more than me."

"does popcorn ruin their digestive system and disrupt their natural diet, too?"

spencer popped a large grin. it sat beautiful on his pretty face. "you listened," he said happily, and it felt like a large airbag had just inflated in your lungs. "no, i think pigeons are too used to picking our food, especially those in the city," a long pause, and "in fact, pigeons have a stronger digestive system than most birds due to adaptation, but the strongest out of all of them are vultures, whose stomach acid are so strong it doesn't get sick e eating rotten and bacteria-infested meats."

you hummed. you wished you had paid closer attention to what he said, but instead you paid attention to the smooth sound of his voice and how nice it sounded. well. you'll get there one day.

[mixes-archive]

König NSFW Alphabet 😊

Requested by: my bbgs and a lot of simps. In all my time as an archivist (maybe a few months at best), I haven't seen something requested as much as this.

This is mostly gender neutral and includes stuff for both afab and amab readers

A = Aftercare

(what they’re like after sex)

"Ach du heilige... Schatz, geht's dir eh gut?"¹

Very worried.

No matter if he's been top or bottom, dom or sub, gentle or rough, he'll be so worried he hurt you in any way.

Give you a quick massage and clean you up. Depending on if you're doing anything after, he'll either take a bath with you or just a brief shower.

B = Body part

(their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He really likes his arms, mans trained years for his muscles to be as defined as they are and being able to carry you with them just gives him a real boost of confidence.

Is weak to your thighs <3 Could spend hours just laying on or massaging them.

C = Cum

(anything to do with cum, basically)

Yum yum in his tum tum😋🍽️

No matter how he made you cum, mans will absolutely devour that shit, no exceptions.

D = Dirty secret

(pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

AFAB: Would love for you to sit on his face while his mask is on, just imagining feeling you through the fabric and how you soak through it makes him hard

AMAB: sucking you off with the mask on, half the fabric draped over your stomach, hiding his next move and having to look directly into his eyes. He gets weak in the knees at the thought.

E = Experience

(how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Man had zero rizz in his childhood, you're his first everything actually. If you don't have any experience either, you're kinda fucked lmao

F = Favorite position

(this goes without saying)

Any with direct eye contact, or you being on top of him.

G = Goofy

(are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's funny, but not intentionally. He's really creative when it comes to swears, so it's easy to make you giggle with them.

H = Hair

(how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Bald or something, I don't know how this works with men and I am NOT about to Google it.

I = Intimacy

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

König is dropping all the nicknames he can think off, constantly caressing your face or body. He'll also try to set the mood as best as possible beforehand.

J = Jack off

(masturbation headcanon)

Does it a lot tbh. He's big big and knows it can affect you for a few days after, so he'll only fuck you if you ask.

K = Kink

(one or more of their kinks)

Mask kink, size kink, praise kink goings both ways. What else is there? Oh yeah.

This man definitely has a mommy kink, you cannot convince me otherwise.

L = Location

(favorite places to do the do)

Probably the couch or the bathtub, he isn't into other people potentially seeing you at all.

M = Motivation

(what turns them on, gets them going)

You. That's it. You could be wearing a hoodie that should've been washed long ago and he'd go "omg I'd hit"

N = No

(something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything to do with degredation. Doesn't like insulting you and likes being insulted even less.

O = Oral

(preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

König would willingly be between your thighs until his lungs give out. He's really big, so this is the best option in his opinion. (also just really into the way you react to him and your taste).

Would only let you suck him off occasionally and after a loooonnggg while of being in a relationship. You'd have to beg him to do it lmao

P = Pace

(are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

König likes being slow and hitting all the right spots, but he can speed up if you ask politely enough. Much prefers to go slow in a borderline teasing way tbh.

Q = Quickie

(their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Prefers taking his time, but with how packed your schedules can be, there's not really another option. Sometimes when you're on a long term mission, you get so desperate you have a quickie, but that's the last resort.

R = Risk

(are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes and no. He'd like to experiment with you a bit, but there are just some things he wouldn't do like public sex, non-con, etc...

S = Stamina

(how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

König lasts for HOURS. This is a trained military man, his stamina is through the roof and on its way to space. You could be panting, struggling to catch your breath or move, and he'll ask if you want another round.

T = Toys

(do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Didn't see the sense in toys before meeting you, but he has a small bullet vibrator for you stashed away somewhere.

U = Unfair

(how much they like to tease)

When he gets the opportunity, he does like to tease a little. Would stop if you ask though.

V = Volume

(how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Swears a lot. Like a lot a lot. He's still more vocal than you'd expect otherwise. Lots of grunts and moans between the swears.

W = Wild card

(a random headcanon for the character)

You wore thigh highs once and he can't get enough of them now. He tends to rip them, but is constantly buying new ones to make up for it.

X = X-ray

(let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Big. Too big, perhaps. Long and girthy. Have fun getting that anywhere in you.

Y = Yearning

(how high is their sex drive?)

Very high, is down to clown almost every single day. And with that I mean he just wants to make you scream his name so loud the squad members become concerned he's holding you hostage.

Z = Zzz

(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Honesty, he's more awake after than he was before. Makes him feel like he just injected five shots of espresso right into his veins.

¹ "Holy... Treasure, are you okay?"

A/N: Being a lesbian in this economy is hard, but I'll gladly take the L so you can all continue to simp for the only relevant austrian representation in this day and age

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on Tech's Looks

(Me: "Doug, so you know, a lot of people are unhappy that the Bad Batch was made to be lighter then the regs. It's a hot topic."

Doug: "Well, here's my theory on the matter. I hope the kids on the Internet (his words for Tumblr) don't get too spicy over this. It's all in good fun. I hope it makes 'em smile and think a bit.")

After having a firm, peer-reviewed discussion (and by that, I mean endless texts with Doug) it has been concluded that Tech has lighter skin and hair, and a slimmer build, due to the Kaminoans leaning harder into the hillbilly part of Jango Fett’s genes, whereas the regs got the nicer, prettier, more amenable genes. 

In short, Tech looks the way he does…because he is a blue-collar white guy from the American South.  

A Florida redneck, specifically.  

And let me (by way of Doug) tell you: rednecks do not have beautiful tans, flawless fades, snatched waists, muscular thighs, diamond-sharp cheekbones, the ability to follow directions, or perfect matching armor, all of which a reg has. 

(Sorry, Howser, go back to guarding Ryloth or posing for GQ or whatever it is you do.)

Back to Tech. Look at that man and tell me the shit he gets up to would not be constantly at the top of r/floridaman

A lot of people might clutch their pearls, and be shocked at this revelation. 

“He has a fancy accent! He’s persnickety about certain things! He’s my fancy pretty boi and I’m going to dress him up in a gold thong in my fan art!”

You do you, kid. But let Doug and his neighbor here, Dr. Meat Muffin, defend this deranged argument, here. Using anthropological research applying autoethnographic methodologies that they conducted independently at one point. 

(By that, we mean that Doug is from the bayous of Louisiana and has lived in the Florida Panhandle before moving Up North. Dr. MM attended graduate school in a redneck hot zone, lived in said redneck hot zone for a while, and married a Texan as well. Hook 'em gig 'em and wreck 'em)

After all, if you want an army to win over the galaxy and work with the Jedi, you want well-mannered, shiny, handsome men with melanin and agreeable personalities.

You do not want a pale-assed weirdo in jeans and a receding hairline who can’t get off his phone to work closely with orphaned space wizards. 

Tech’s an anarchic Floridian piece of tornado bait and that’s why he look the way he do, says Doug.

Here's why Doug says Tech is a Redneck:

Mandalorians are Space Rednecks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trx7fDdlIo0. I do not own the rights to the video, but my God, it is perfection. A masterpiece. Mandalorians are rednecks in space, who end up colonizing Space Florida, no questions asked. Our theory is Tech is merely the concentrated, Waffle House-fistfighting, chew-dipping, Mountain Dew chugging, part of that. The Kaminoans just leaned into the trailer park part of Jango Fett hard when designing Tech, because no one can fix cars while shooting a gun and yelling at his crazy brothers like a redneck (more on that below). 

Hell, all of the Bad Batch are different brands of Florida Man:

Grizzled long haired tan guy with skull tattoo, obsessed with tracking, knife fighting, and hiding from normal society? Hunter.

Bald tanned dude with weird scars who loves blowing shit up and screaming for no reason? Wrecker

Pale, freaked out man who was kept in a cult’s closet for years? Echo 

Creepy, old, Second Amendment loving white guy with a gun themed tattoo who can’t seem to die? Crosshair 

Maladjusted orphan left behind at a bar by her inexperienced caretakers and almost drowns in the ocean? Omega 

His love of vehicles: We never see Tech whip out a manual to fix anything. The man says it’s because he has an exceptional mind, but that’s edging dangerously close to “Ah don’t need no schoolin’, hoss, I can fix any Ford!”.  Doug thinks it’s just because Tech loves playing with car parts, which is some grade A, hillbilly tomfoolery. And what is more redneck than some white guy ripping apart a vehicle in the dirt while the rest of his family bitches at each other in the heat? It happened right here in Season 2 (this exact scenario has played out many-a-time in Pensacola, trust me). All they need is some Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the background to make the picture complete. 

His clothing color scheme: “Oh, no!” you wail. “He just changed his colors to reflect Mandalorian heritage!” 

WRONG. 

Tech’s redneckery is blatant here, because his colors switch from 

Hot Topic goth to…UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA. 

“We’re loyal to each other,” says Hunter. And by that, he means the Gators, beloved of many an NCAA following redneck in the Sunshine State and beyond. Orange and Blue, indeed.

Notice how we first see him in these colors, is while he’s parked his stolen work vehicle on a beach while his brothers are busy being chased by huge-ass crabs as their sister is quietly fishing?! 

This is PEAK FLORIDA MAN. 

Tech was probably trying to get ESPN+ to work on the Marauder, because the Devil works hard, but the SEC works harder during football season. I wonder if he has a tattoo of Tim Tebow on his buttcheek.

His home is his car: Tech, as well as his unemployed brothers and underaged sister who the cops are looking for (how trashy is THAT sentence), live in the Havoc Marauder now that their home was destroyed in a fire fight with the government. 

("Jesus Christ, this argument just writes itself now, don’t it," -Doug) 

This attack shuttle, for all intents and purposes, is a stolen work truck that they live in. It’s filled with posters of guns, as well as other weapons and explosives, and has all the comfort of a Jacksonville gas station at 2 AM. All you need is some cigarette burns on the fender and some empty take out bags from Bojangles and it might as well be parked down by the river in Suwannee County. Just Florida redneckery. Speaking of which….

He loves guns and explosions: Won’t go into detail, but the man knows how to use multiple pistols, rifles, and different tactile maneuvers with glee. Tech’s only notable complaint regarding explosions is making sure Wrecker’s new fancy boom-booms aren’t parked next to his bunk. And the look of calm joy when his sister tells his brother ‘Do some damage, Wrecker!’ as Tech pulls a Bo Duke and flings his vehicle across a locked up work site, while his deranged brother giggles and fires some guns at a government-owned power plant from the back seat. PURE. UNADULTERATED. REDNECK. 

He’s a racer: It is a fact (with peer reviewed research) that rednecks really, really love them some racing. NASCAR, motocross, BMX, you name it. And if you’ve seen ‘Faster’, well, that’s all you need to know about the man. 

He has no fear of large animals: We’ve never seen him hunt, but Tech knows how to distract massive amounts of nasty animals using light, and the first response to seeing a terrifying monster isn't running away screaming, but whispering ‘FASCINATING’., before, ya know, firing a gun at it. It’s one step away from ‘IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US’. You KNOW that man would be sponsoring gator wrasslin' contests if he could.

His actions towards His family: This is where Tech truly differentiates himself from the typical ‘geek’ character and leans hard into King of the Hill territory. Whereas a normal nerd character might nag and panic when his sister falls down a hole while drilling for explosives in a cave (dear God Doug, how much more redneck examples can you keep pointing out, I’m exhausted), Tech merely YEETS HIMSELF down into the abyss. Or when his brother picks a fight in the mess hall? Does Tech run away, or just start punching people like it's past closing time in the Applebee's parking lot in Daytona and the Dolphins lost? And let's not discuss the season finale :(. Rednecks are some loyal folks, family first, and that’s our man’s right there. 

There you have it, says Doug. Tech isn’t lighter because he’s better than the regs. The opposite.

You can not be a deranged, adrenaline filled, sassy, goggled weirdo flying throughout space and blowing shit up and not be pale AF with twiggy legs and a receding hairline that’s edging towards Hunter S. Thompson level, born out of America's Sunshine state while a hurricane chases you out.

::turns up ZZ Top::

[transenbyconfessions]

my hot take this wonderful pride season is that we should start genuinely celebrating cis, straight, and allo identities. even white/western and christian cultures, idk.

"why on earth would you say this during pride month" i can hear you asking (rhetorically). and the answer is simple. i am fucking sick and tired of being an Exception. i want to raze default expectations to the ground. being cis is just as unique and diverse as being trans. i want cis people to OWN their gender, to go "hell fucking yeah I'm a woman cause i feel it in my bones and I'm proud and I'm happy with my body and I feel so nice in swishy skirts". i wanna hear straight people explaining what it feels like to fall in love with another gender, as if we've never even heard of that kind of attraction before. i want a christian to give me a tldr rundown of what Christmas is and why it's important to them as if they're the token Christian at their workplace and not like, one person from a dominant religion in this country.

this pride, i don't want only the minorites to have to earn their pride. i wanna hear all the details that make cis and straight and allo people happy with their identities, too. i want to hear people's stories with no assumptions about what is or is not a "basic" part of the human condition. i want to hear about trans men embracing their patchy facial hair right alongside cis men that are celebrating their balding. i wanna see the aspecs talking about their unique attraction styles alongside the allos talking about how important their own attraction is to them. i wanna see the agenders hanging out and wishing their funky gendered friends luck with their presentation, i wanna see..... community between the queer and the normative. i wanna flip the norms on their head and make them explain and celebrate themselves.

Submitted June 14, 2023

[strawbs-screaming]

overanalyzing punch out characters for fun

i have problems so why not project them on some punchy men?? Also dont take these seriously i simply like analyzing stuff

Glass Joe

Hes very cheerful, even after getting beaten a 100 times,this could imply hes a optimistic person or is simply used to failing often.

This can be backed up by him being stubborn and continuing boxing even after he gets brain damage and has to use extra protection to not get more issues. He could be doing boxing for fun or because he has passion for it.

But his face & words say otherwise, before you fight him (before the first cutscene and the slideshow, not counting the selection screen) he has a strange expression that looks maybe confused or unsure, he could be doubting his skills or simply wondering how they let a 17 year old in.

He talks about how "his stomach is mush" during the TD cutscene, if that sounds confident then i don't wanna know what counts as cocky...

He could be someone happy with their career but very doubtful of his skills. This shows during his celebration animation, hes literally over the moon to beat one person, one. Imagine what that man felt after he beat Nick bruiser.

Von Kaiser

Also in his comic strip (yes, theres a Wii comic for punch out.) he seems to have the very simple goal of being a champion and being congratulated. He has dreams of decorating the champion belt with a baguette for fucks sake, if that doesnt scream simple i dont know what will.

Hes shown to be very serious, confirmed by his cold expression that changes only during cutscenes or when you get hits on him, he could be hiding emotions because of childhood stuff, maybe a urge to hide it or simply have a resting bitch face.

His slideshows show us how he gets his ass kicked by kids and thats grounds for getting some issues, his pre-fight cutscene has him worried about something enough to have him hyperventilating, maybe its the thought of getting his ass kicked again thats making him worried.

He gets a bit angrier in his TD and fastens up, but theres not much to get there.

Disco Kid

He could have issues showing emotions from childhood trauma, but then again saying someone who doesn't show emotion is 100% traumatized sounds very dumb, he could simply have a rbf. (as mentioned before)

Disco Kid is just... Happy, hes cheerful, hes energetic and passionate about what he does.

Hes absolutely beaming with happiness! Except for the TD cutscene where he literally goes broke...And finds his happiness again!

King Hippo

Since hes able to walk off being broke that easily, its safe for us to assume he has gone through worse and has stayed optimistic.

King Hippo is.. King Hippo! He eats, he fights, he sleeps. Thats King Hippo all right.

He's shown to be innovative since his first thought when he sees a manhole cover is "i could use that!"

Piston Hondo

He's also very cocky, as much as i don't like to say it, he says something in his native tongue before laughing, he could be saying anything and finding it funny himself.

He's shown to be very focused and polite, he bows during the fight for fucks sake! Hes pretty much throwing the fight just to be respectful.

His TD cutscenes show us how he goes out of his way to get stronger, he outruns a bullet train just to beat a child again. This could imply not trusting himself to not lose again, feel pressured to keep his title or simply want to not get beaten again. And said issues i just mentioned could be rooted in past issues.

His cutscenes during the fight show him calmly talking to Mac, no mean comments or other stuff, he just reads manga, says some stuff and continues on with it, but the bar for being respectable is pretty low in the wvba, looking at Bald "Stop Chucking Dumbells At The Crowd" Bull.

He could be raised in a household where the punishment for being disrespectful is very heavy or simply feel like he must be respectful to make it far.

His politeness to Mac could reflect how he was treated during his childhood, showing the one thing he (probably) lacked: Kindness, it would probably hurt him to see someone so young have to go through stuff similiar to what he went through.

Bear Hugger

Bear Hugger is very jolly, if you whip up a dictionary and look for the definition of "Positive" hes there.

Unlike Disco Kid, he probably hasn't gone through stuff worse than losing his money, he's shown to be very cheerful and jokes around often, even during the fight. But hes also seen taking great care to train properly, even with a bear.

But then TD hits him.. Like a paper plane. He climbs a mountain and gets a squirrel, then what? Same attitude as before. Changing altitudes once isn't enough to change this mans attitude.

But then again.. Him being connected to nature could be seen as him being distant from people and finding comfort in animals more, but thats a long stretch.

Great Tiger

Great Tiger is.. Confusing to say the least. In his contender cutscene hes shown flying, And thats not much substance unless you wanna think like a english teacher and overthink everything.

Hes shown to be very arrogant and bully Mac a little bit, not to the point where hes going off on him but some little banter. He also takes the fight seriously unlike someone else in the major circuit. (**cough** bear hugger **COUGH COUGH**) Probably because of the reason he gets congratulated to hell & back for teleporting around. (which is impressive, i wont lie)

Even though he might be a arrogant person, he puts in some real work, using his clones to confuse Mac, using his teleporting to his advantage, mans going all out.

And in his TD cutscenes, he literally trains his ass off to beat Mac.

But he isn't all serious, he messes with doc & Mac, brings a entire ass carpet.

Don Flamenco

One little glare at his contender cutscene and you can guess what hes about. Hes flirty, hes strong and most importantly: he has issues! Fill out all the rows on your bingo card!

Hes suave, hes full of sass, And hes cool while doing it. Except for when that toupe gets knocked off, after that point theres no going back for you. He goes all out and goes down in the most overdramatic way possible.

All that attention seeking could be him not getting enough attention as a child or simply needing validation to thrive.

His TD cutscene opens up another door for us however, he goes mad when he sees mac's face, this much of a extreme reaction could be him wanting the attention back on him instead of Mac.

Aran Ryan

This man is certainly not sane. Lets get that out of the way first. Hes hyperactive, constantly yelling, up to no good. Hes basically the definition of insane.

Also, its stated that he will do anything to win. ANYTHING. He wears horseshoes in his gloves for fucks sake! This could imply that he doesn't have anything other than boxing.

His insanity also could be the product of.. Say it with me.. Childhood Trauma! To act like that, you probably have to go through some stuff, maybe he could have developed it to protect himself from bullying.

His mishievious behavior could also be explained by said insanity mentioned above.

His TD is another can of worms for us, by anything, they meant it. He's stealing glowes and making them into a flail, which shows some hints of creativity in the worst way possible...

He's shown being booed by the crowd, yet he still continues his usual stuff, showing that he doesn't really care about anything except winning at this point.

Soda Popinski

Soda is.. Confusing, he doesn't have much of a pattern to his behavior unlike the other boxers, And thats saying something considering who we went through before him.

He's a shown using steroids, maybe he could not trust his own skills to carry him far or feel like he HAS to win. But instead of training his ass of he does some doping, And it clearly has a effect on him, he gets faster, stronger and more of a issue.

And have you seen this mans reaction when you knock away his soda bottle? He goes insane. He starts going all out on a kid, this could be the sign of a addiction or dependency..

Bald Bull

This man is mad, in all ways possible. He's seen having issues regarding his anger (that is justified.) and hes SO FUCKING RIGHT TO GET ANGRY!! He basically has zero privacy, in the first frame his first slideshow (contender) hes calm and not very bothered about the paparazzi, but he gets more angry as the paparazzi gets more hasty, resulting in him getting pissed off.

He clearly has low frustration tolerance, And is not having a good time managing it. His low frustration tolerance & anger could be him not getting help for his mental health when he was younger and it getting worse.

That gets proved even more when you look at his TD slideshow, he gets hit by a bull instead of getting therapy, how did he think of that but not, you know.. Getting help? It could be that he was raised to believe getting help was a sign of weakness.

Super Macho Man

He's practically in love with himself, hes rich, hes tan and hes flexing on us all.

His flexing could be how he wants attention,somewhat similiar to don flamenco. His TD slideshow implies that a bit more as well, seeing Mac getting all the attention he wants pisses him off a lot.

He's basically all for attention, his personality doesn't boil down to it since hes a bit suave as well and also trains a lot.

Mr Sandman

Sandman is.. Very mysterious, his contender slideshow shows him kicking ass, sort of implying hes very career focused.

His TD slideshow pushes this further bt having him wreck a building from anger, he 100% is focused on his career.

He could have trained all his life to become a champion.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

men will be like "we age like fine wine, our value increases as we get older, womens value decreases!!!" nah bro, you're gonna be bald and obese by 35🤣😭

I thought I had responded to this but it's pretty clear you do not understand functional dynamics in reality.

Men do not claim to age like fine wine first of all. That comment is almost unilaterally used for women. Also of note, men outside of hunting and gathering do not have societal inherent value. What's more modern society has even denigrated that. As such men's value is often attributed to the amount of money they make, their status, and the resources they manage to acquire.

Women's societal inherent value is that of giving life. They are quite literally the gatekeepers of life itself. Sure a lot of women believe that's boiling women down to just their bodies but it's not. It's an extremely important thing to the continuation of our species. However, as women age that inherent thing hits' a countdown. Once that's up, that value prospect no longer exists.

Men and women want fundamentally different things at different points in time. Men tend to want a woman that they can rely on and who will give them a family and be a good mother and wife. Women tend to want a provider they can rely on and help guide them who will help raise a family and be a good father and husband. Once upon a time, that was the norm. In some regards, it still is.

Feminism lies to women and tells them, "You don't need anyone. Be a boss bitch". Except if you look at Tiktok, Instagram, Twitter and FB and other platforms, a lot of women in their late 20's early 30's are realizing they have nothing. No kids. No family. Working normal hours just trying to be a "bad boss bitch". Or I guess they also call it a "Girl Boss" now too. Fun fact. Humans in 98% of cases want to have kids. They want to start a family. And Feminism tells them, "NO actually you don't want that because then you can't be a CEO! Why would you want the patriarchy to win?!?!?!?". Why do they say that? Because they are sad and alone more often than not and don't want to suffer alone.

Also no, most men are not bald and fat by 35. Some are. it's not most. And unlike you I am not going to sink down to that level and body shame women. While you sit around body shaming men, while very likely being one of those "Healthy at any size" people. Or you're not and your just an asshole. Either way.

[nonsenseships]

(Reverse)Harem AU Life, Dynamics & Other Stuff! Pt.2

Part 1.

✕RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN THE VILLA✕

Despite being one of the 'newer' (i use that lightly) additions to my roster, Masato somehow managed to assume the role of the de facto leader or head of household in a way. Whenever there is an issue, it's brought to his attention long before it's even brought to mine which kinda burns me up a bit ngl. He's typically the first to welcome the newer faces as well. Even when he's pissed deep inside and it's the last thing he wants to do, he still does what he can to help them feel welcomed just because he knows how much it would mean to me if he did that. If there's conflict in the house, he gives the guys a moment to resolve it amongst themselves and if they can't he inserts himself and everytime- Squashed. It's like magic. He tries to be on good to neutral terms with everyone whether he actually likes them or not. He does have a few close friendships though: Nish and Kai. He likes Beelzebub a lot too but he views him almost like a little brother figure-- as much as you can a demon that's thousands of years old...

Akira says that if not for Masa, he probably wouldn't even know some of the newer guys' names because he sure as hell didn't plan to ask for them. He's much colder to his housemates than his koi counterpart. He typically does his own thing and if he is paying any attention to the others, it's to shit talk them mostly. He likes to spend as much of his free time out of the house as he can when he knows there's not a chance of him seeing me. He gets along well with Masa, obviously and after the initial shock of seeing Osamu wore off, he got close to him. Other than that, he hates them all equally- Scratch that, he hates everyone but he hates Satoru Gojo even more than the rest.

I think Osamu might be one of the most peaceful members of the arrangement. He spends most of his time in his room or in the study doing the same things, listening to music or reading books. He tries to avoid 'hot spots' because he gets really flustered when he sees me with the others. He tries to put up a 'Do Not Disturb' aura but it doesn't work. They all flock to him anyway. He's unwillingly adopted the role of the resident grandpa figure to the guys. He's voiced over and over again how odd that makes him feel considering he's here to date me and if he's a grandpa and I'm the age I am-- We're still in the process of getting him to come around on that. Perhaps someday he will take it in stride?

They couldn't be any more different from each other but Suguru and Satoru are like two peas in a pod. I think it's precious but the remainder of the house does not share my sentiment. Most people don't mind Sugu. He's courteous (for the most part), I mean he does talk his shit but it's so subtle that most people can let it roll off their shoulder. He likes everyone except the bald guys (go figure) and the feeling is mutual. I think the only person that strongly dislikes him is Akira but Akira doesn't dislike him nearly as much as he hates Satoru-- Most of the guys hate Satoru though. It's such a widespread feeling that they almost feel a sense of camaraderie over how much they can't stand him. It makes sense though. Satoru is arrogant (and he lumps Suguru in with him). Satoru is under the impression that he's the best I've ever had and when you say something like that around a bunch of men who also believe such things about themselves-- Well...

For a while there, all Choso ever did was watch the others and keep to himself. He didn't even make nice with his canon-mates like most do. He just stayed in his room until it was time to eat, cook or he got a call from me asking to see him. He thought everyone was noisy. I'd often get texts nightly asking if he could just sleep in my room with me. I indulged him more than maybe I should have until I was accused of favoritism- which is against the rules. So, Cho unfortunately had to go back to sleeping in his own bed unless it was His Night. I've tried (to no avail) convincing him to leave because I think I made the wrong choice by bringing him here but he gets really emotional anytime I broach the topic. Recently, he seems to have found a friend in Beelzebub at least. He still thinks everyone is noisy but at least he's got someone whose noise he can tolerate aside from me.

Barbatos didn't beat around the bush when he laid out what his priorities were while being here: The Young Master and me. While he appreciates that he has his universe-mates to lean on if ever there are times of need, he's certain that he'd be fine even without them. When Dia isn't with me, he's tending to his side as per usual and when he's away, Barb keeps to himself. He's aware of all of the conflict that arises in the house but it seems to bypass him every time. To those who do not share a canon universe with him, Barbatos gives off a somewhat... Disturbing, off putting and unsettling vibe that most housemates can't quite put their fingers on. I've always been told that when they look at his eyes, they get this feeling as if he knows something about them that he shouldn't. So, they try to avoid him if they can.

Sometimes, things in the house can be sort of cutthroat and that can be a bit shocking to Simeon but he's grown accustomed to it. If anything, he's found himself realizing on more than one occasion that he's perhaps contributed to the environment in his own way. So, he doesn't blame anyone but himself. No one in the house has anything negative to say about him. He's never once shown his bad side but deep inside he's wound up beyond belief and when we're alone, only then does he show just how much. He keeps himself in check around the guys best he can. Sure, he spits out his fair share of snappy quips from time to time but he always does so with a smile on his face. So, there's that.

Takayuki was part two of the package deal that Kaito apparently came with when he signed on– except, Kaito didn't know that. Mm, that entire situation was a little hairy and perhaps fucked up on both mine and Tak's part but hey! He's here now. What can we do? I never claimed to be a good person. He rubbed a lot of people the wrong way when he came in and he's never cared to repair that image. Only one person forgave him for what happened, Masaharu and truly, I believe that was due to bro code or something. He's not as arrogant as say, Satoru or a certain red head but he does clearly seem to feel that his place here is secure enough that it doesn't really matter what the rest of the house thinks.

If we're going to call a spade a spade, I think Tak made his holes and none of us bothered to patch them up. Ever since he weaseled his way in behind Masaharu, I haven't really been seeing him all that much. Granted, I... haven't tried to reach out. I should. It's the right thing to do. Someday. Soon, I hope. Anyway, I know I mentioned in the past (elsewhere) time and time again how close Masa and Nish are but the relationship that Kai has with Masa is frankly wonderful to witness. They're almost like actual brothers. When he was here he could get along with most people but just as easy as it was to get along with him, it was also easy to get on his bad side.

How I managed to get Lucifer, Avatar of Pride, to say yes to this is really beyond me but I tell you what. I wrangled him once. I could wrangle him again. He isn't thrilled to be constantly reminded that he can't keep away from me but he'll be fine. He tends to steer clear of all the others. He really only interacts with his brothers, Dia, Barb and Simeon. He's very protective of them too. I've had to forbid harmful magic because he almost used some sorta weird spell on Kai when he and Mammon got into a fight over a card game. Who, speak of the devil, loves to write checks his ass can't cash and gets into arguments with everybody. ESPECIALLY, new guys and he HATES temporary visitors. HATES them. He's very territorial over me. So, just like his older brother- I don't know why he's here. I love that he's here but even I can admit that it's gotta be doing more harm than good. And yet- won't leave. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Natsuki is such a ray of sunshine in the house. Mammon once tried to cause drama with him and honestly felt so bad HE APOLOGIZED- in his Mammon way, of course. He's the most positive and jovial. Most of them think he's a little airheaded though which sorta allows him to get away with things that the others wouldn't necessarily get away with. I know the truth though. A lot of times, he's one of the mediators when there's drama that the people involved can't resolve on their own. He has an impressive way of getting the others to lower their defenses and open up to him. He's said to have a surprisingly calming presence, which to me just means, he's really matured over the years.

Like Nacchan, Reiji tends to appear more positive but it's not as genuine as it is for the other guy. He's given up on trying to spread that positivity to the rest of the house a long time ago. He decided that he really only needed to be on good terms with me and his universe-mates. He's only home in time for dates and to go to sleep. He's left the house and come back more times than I can count. He says it's not for him. I say it's not for him. Neither of us know what we're doing here but once we get one on one time, it starts to make sense. And thus, the toxic cycle...

There's some similarity here with Tokiya and Reiji in that Tokiya is fairly selective with who he spends his free time around. There's no point as he is hardly home to begin with. He really only frees up his schedule when he knows that I've freed up mine for him. He doesn't fight for time like others do. He just waits for me (to his detriment sometimes) to make time for him. Everyone (except the obvious) thinks he's quiet. No one really gets why he's here because they rarely see us together. They all think he's silently judging them behind his books whenever he's sitting in the room- and he probably is. He does have one guy outside of his canon pals that he seems to like a good deal. Reread my last sentence and you may be able to guess if you're familiar with my boys.

'All hail Satan!' is a phrase that has been done to death in this house and he's about ready to kill the next person that utters it. He's quite calm until he's not. He hated that he had to share with his brothers, then the demon lord, his butler and an angel and now 15+ other people? It makes him feel like he's going to pop a blood vessel from time to time but he's learned to live with it. He's the walking, talking fountain of knowledge. Whenever anyone has a question about anything, they all know that Satan is their demon. He was sorta pissy about it at first but now, he gets sorta antsy when he hasn't been asked a reasonably easy to research question in a while. Aside from his canon-mates, he considers both Tokiya and Zayne to be his only friends in the house.

Beelzebub is a whole lot like Natsuki in that he brings a lot of positivity and sunshine to the house just by being himself. He was the cause of most people's irritation when he first moved in due to his appetite but he has a heart that you just can't hate. So, everyone always cooks and shops with Beel's appetite in mind. He's the resident little (big) brother.I'm just glad that it's not as insatiable as it is in the Devildom. He gets along with everyone but aside from the obvious, he's closest to Natsuki and Choso. Surprisingly, he's the only person in the house that LOVES Nacchan's cooking... somehow.

If you're familiar with Obey Me at all, I think it goes without saying who Diavolo is closest to in the house. Canon-mates aside, Dia has found living in the house quite interesting because he gets to interact with so many different types of humans on a daily basis. He enjoys that they don't treat him specially or anything because of his royal status in the devildom. He gets along with most people. While he knows that he's here because he's dating me, he appreciates it differently because he gets to experience what it's like getting to live with a bunch of roommates. He'd have never gotten to do something like this in the Devildom- the brothers stayed but he was still prince. This, it's different.

Ahhhh, the newest addition to the harem house, Doctor Zayne. He's still in the routine hazing process of joining the house. So, it's sort of hard to tell what his relationships are like in the house overall considering most of them ignore, if not are downright assholes to him. BUT, aside from the resident Sunshine Boys, two others have taken him under their wing and sort of shown him around and helped him navigate life here: Tokiya and Satan.

I saved the following three for last as they only visit the house when called, on whims or when their schedules allow for it. The Visitors (not to be confused with temporary visitors- that's a different conversation.. some other time though)

I can begin with Charles, since he's perhaps the least controversial of the visitors. Charles comes to town, takes me on whatever date he planned for days (because he rarely ever pops up spontaneously), Handles His Business, aftercare, might even stay for coffee or maybe the night if i ask nicely and then he leaves. Charles has no relationship with the others. I mean, there's Pickles, sure but he doesn't count lol. Whenever I suggest to him that he should try to interact with others more, he says to me, "Oh? And what clause was that in? I only agreed to you getting to know other men. I've no interest." ...Charlie.

I am going to talk about these two at the same time as they seem to stir up just about the same amount of controversy and provoke the same ire. Pickles and Saitama- the two baldies, my beloveds. Just them being around is enough to set any one of the other housemates off sometimes. Both for different reasons. Some of it goes sorta deep but some of it is fairly simple. Each of the visitors have been involved with me (let's detach even further from reality and not think about age AT ALL for a sec) for 9+ years. Years of involvement hold some importance for each house member- It matters none to me but here we are. Pickles and Charles have been around since 2008 and Saitama since 2015 (the Utapri boys, a year before that but were only talking visitors right now).

Pickles is very arrogant about the length of our relationship, his place in my life and our chemistry/how well he knows me. He credits himself for being the reason the other guys are even allowed to exist in my life. He's not shy about letting them know he feels that way either. As far as he's concerned, he's my main guy (#1) and if he says the word, the rest of them would have no choice but to leave and I'd listen because I'm the one wrapped around his little finger- not the other way around... He's a piece of work (read:toxic) but I love him, right? The others HATE to see him coming. He typically lets me know when he's going to be in town because he's working around his schedule but when he's not on tour, he pops in at random more frequently and he tends to make a show of it. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, hates him. But I think if there's anyone that hates him most, it's Masato and that's because he upsets the balance that Masato set. It makes Masa want to throttle him.

I think that the hate Sai gets is pretty unfair though. Like, with Pickles, I can totally get it. The guy is a dick. But Sai honestly just minds his business. If I'm being completely honest, I think all it really boils down to in the end is jealousy. Whenever he comes to town, we may go out if I reaaaally want to but for the most part we chill at home. We cook and eat at home. We have movie dates at home. Neither of us care to shop and we honestly get enough sight seeing from work. We spend whatever time we have together at the house, unlike I do with the others and because of that, they get to see what I'm like with him. I think they see our chemistry and they don't like it. It's also a night and day difference between what Sai is like with me versus what he's like with the others. He'd try to be cordial for my sake but he's never cared to make friends. For that reason, they take his indifferent personality as a slight against them (especially after seeing how he is with me) when he's really just like that by nature..

It's a shame though because Sai can be really sweet in his own way. When he does stop by and there's someone new undergoing the hazing process, he tends to offer them some sort of guidance or advice to get through it (again, in his own way). Yet, he's still branded as the asshole that pops up whenever he wants, has his way with me and leaves. Soooo sad. 

[gaytanimura]

Kiryu Kazuma. One of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up. He can fight at peak strength, take out enemies with heat moves, and best of all, he's red colored and knows how to handle the Fellas. Speaking of Fellas, the Yakuza universe might also be classified as "Hot Dude Heaven" because there's such a mess of very beautiful and tough men that it will make you love the franchise even more! And since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top 10 list of the most beautiful male yakuza characters. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of staminan X, and try not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GO!

10: Try this question on for size. Who chases and fights Kiryu all the time and wields a powerful tanto? Why it's Majima Goro of course! Though more of a cutie than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that he’s still attractive. Two things that make him attractive are the fact that he wears snake skin jacket, and when have you ever seen an eyepatch on somebodies left eye? I haven't! So once again, Majima Goro is lovely; that is until he goes mad dog and starts cutting stuff with his tanto.

Who's at number 9? It's this 6th chairman from tojo clan. Daigo, from Yakuza 2. He got a message saying that Tojo Clan was under attack by the opposite clan Omi Alliance. He doesn't do much except get shot in the chest and drink alcohol. The real reason he lands at the #9 is that he becomes Shinada Tatsuo’s sweetheart, something Shinada needed for a long while.

Numero Ocho. Kiryu Kazuma’s mother, Kashiwagi. Hes attractive and the size of an average human mother. What really surprises me about him is that the ex-detective, Koichi Adachi, falls in love with him. Kinda silly, don't you think? He’s another character that doesn't do much, but in Yakuza 7, He helps Ichiban Kasuga have a place to stay along with his friends.

What number's next? Seven, of course. Yoshitaka Mine from Yakuza 3. People always root for the good guys, but sometimes, the bad guys steal the show.His mathematic IQ is equal to Sera. He also happens to be the smartest member of Tojo Clan. I wonder why he isn't the chairman. Like Ryuji Goda and Nishiki, his specialty is dying. With a stunning laugh and soulless eyes, Mine will rock your socks. If only we could see him take wing.

Numero Six. Ichiban Kasuga from Yakuza 7. Named after the number one, Ichiban is the son of Masumi Arakawa. He’s a newer character that hardly does a thing except beg his brother to stop being so violently mysgonisic. He also traps himself inside a box so that he could get a jump on lower ranked Liumang. When you're the son of a person in the killer Arakawa gang, you need to look your best and Ichiban delivers perfectly. That's why he’s #6.

Number #1, #2, #3, #4, #5! Ah-Ah-Ahhh! Saejima Taiga from Yakuza 5. How could you go wrong with a guy that looks like this? He can fight nearly as good as Kiryu and he went from being a Prisoner to being a Top Tojo Clan executive. Next to Majima he looks more collected than the other characters. Who could top someone who has a bald ass head?

This fella standing at number 4: Ryuji Goda. One word: TITS. How would you like to have that cup size? I mean Ryuji could play around in the Himalayas for hours and he would be perfectly fine! Also, his blonde hair makes him look like an American. I really like the fact that he has a relationship with the Jingweong agent Joon-Gi Han. The combination of this gay couple makes these two a reliable couple. But what lands Ryuji in the #4 spot is that his attitudes is apparently different from the other males.

Next up is #3. What's better than having a Male with Huge Tits? How about a Male with Huge Tits and Ass? Shinada Tatsuo, another Kiryu Saga has that feature. He’s Active, knows exactly what to do as a Nightlife Writer, and even fought Amon once. He’s also the guy of Daigo's dreams. Heh, lucky him. His younger self in the spin-off: The Wandering Dragon is just downright hot! Just look at them big tiddies! Now we're talkin'!

1, 2, button my shoe! Kiryu Kazuma. There's a lot to say about this character. He’s the heir to the Kazama Family, Yakuza’s first official protagonist, the only character that used to say slurs, brave and athletic, the most kind character, and is like a father to Haruka. In the Sixth installment of the series, The Song of Life, one antagonist, the sexy Joon-Gi Han constantly tries to woo Kiryu, but doesn't succeed because... he fucking dies! The Dragon is also a semi-perfect example of an excellent protagonist, although there were a couple of times when he really snapped and acted like a lunatic; in the early installments, that is. But overall, Kiryu Kazuma really stands out amongst the slew of males not just because he’s Yakuza’s first official protagonist, or because he’s the only one who show his ass three times, but because in the comics, he grew very perky boobs, and married Majima in the future, becoming the 5th Chairman.

So, you've seen a Yakuza Chairman, a baseball star, two gorgeous Ex-Yakuza, and even a Dragon! Who could possibly top those kinds of Males? Well, get ready folks; this is the #1 hottest Yakuza Male character. Yu Nanba. If anybody denies it, how dare you? This man can summon pigeons, he’s as strong as a paper bag, and is a manloser, seducing other characters into getting what he wants. Instead of having one love interest, he has two! Ichiban and Tianyou Zhao. Being a homeless man, his only interested in one object set; Alcohol, especially the Legendary Malt. There actually have been situations where Nanba’s cock and balls has been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay. I think the best part about this beauty is that he wears three different outfits unlike the other male characters. And who wouldn't want to Sleep at anytime, be strong as a fetus, and flirt with any male, anytime, anywhere. These three traits make Yu Nanba triumph over all of the Yakuza malws. My hat goes off to you Sega Team Japan. You oughta be proud.

There ya have it folks. Those were the hottest male fellas in the Yakuza universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll see you later. HERE WE GO!

[viking-writing]

Hallo hallo!💕 HAPPY NEW YEARS/GODT NYTTÅR!🎉

I'm planning on getting the first fic in my Rammstein AU fic series done in 2024! Hopefully before the end of January as that is Rammsteins 30th anniversary-month (Or so I've been told?) but 2024 is their anniversary year anyway so I'll be done long before the end of this year with the first fic in the series! 😁

@marimayscarlett you need to help me with some of the german so you get to read all the chapters before everyone else! ^^

Here is a sneak peak on some of my OC's.

I've actually found at least one of them on "thispersondoesnotexist.com" and it was surreal how the looks matched so perfectly with how I visioned him in my head. Especially considering how the page just makes random AI persons every single time you refresh. I even ended up finding TWO pictures of him (the two fake men look nearly identical and it was beyond perfect for how I visioned him!)

I'll save the "realistic pictures" for some other time. Instead enjoy some piccrew avatars I made of some of my OC's (with some added facts. Warning; this is a long read so if you don't bother you can just look at the avatars instead)

Name: Cornelia Francesca (II/the 2nd.). However she prefers to only go by "Cornelia" or "Nelia" for short.

Gender: Cis woman

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

Nationality: That depends on what you lay in the meaning "nationality" (She is mostly German by blood but she was born and grew up in France.)

Facial features: Very pale skin (her veins are mostly visible) and her face is heartshaped. She considers her chin to be "too long and sharp-pointed" and with her big dark- blue, doll-like eyes and blonde curly locks she is often underrestimated or "sweet-talked". Her brows are Blonde/white/nearly "invisible", and her upper lip is slightly bigger than her lower lip, which sometimes could be mistaken for a "frowning pout". Furthermore her lips has no cupids bow. Lastly she "wishes she could have had freckles or beauty marks" as she "finds such to be very unique and beautiful."

Body type: She is tall and has an Hour glass figure. She is naturally heavy chested while her waist is small both by birth and "by the aid of corsets."

Piercings and tattoos: None. Trying to pierce a hole into her would "be a waste of time."

Diet: Vegetarian (mostly). She doesn't mind eating eggs or drinking milk as long as its from trusted farms.

Musical taste: Her taste in music is vast and consist of any genre, from any decade. She doesn't have any favorite band or artist in particular as she doesn't like to place any artist or band "up on a pedestal" as they are "all to be considered talented and should therefore all be equally appreciated".

Fashion sense: Anything from disorted jeans to long ruffled lace skirts. Her most "outraged/scandalous" fashion statement are probably the times when she likes to adjust/modify her corsets so they would fit over jeans and t-shirts. However she doesn't like bold prints or too strong colors, except deep blue or deep red. She wish she could have earrings but as already mentioned: piercing her ears would be a waste of time. She likes wearing necklaces that are simple and not too flashy: anything from simple stone pendants to single colored heavy laced chokers though as for pearls, she has "always found them too mature looking."

Name: Bas (He thinks his mother gave him way too many names, so he prefers to only use the first one.)

Gender: Cis man

Pronouns: He/Him (but he won't correct you if you say they/them.)

Sexuality: Asexual & Aromantic He thinks Romance is ok in movies and books...but "in real life he is good with having family and friends!"

Nationality: The Republic of the Congo.

Skin color: Black "and beautiful" as he would usually say.

Facial features: A rounded face. Bald head he lost his hair due to "some hair...disease?" He doesn't remember what it was called, and "he doesn't really care. Without hair it's easier for him to get ready in the morning and then he can have plenty of time to do fun things!". His nose is wide and short with wide nostrils. He really likes his nose, and the rest of his face! His facial hair is usually scruffy or cleaned shaved. He "tried to grow a moustache, once....and it turned out all patchy so he never wants to do it again!". He has black/dark brown puppy- eyes which according to him means he can "get whatever he wants? No he is probably too old for that trick!" . His eyes have dark circles and a few wrinkles under them but he knows that "in his age being tired is a cool lifestyle, so the dark circles are matching great!".

Body Type: A little on the heavier side with a little portruding tummy, which is alright! He is "exactly how he wants to be and no one can tell him otherwise!"

Piercings and tattoos: Both of his ear lobes are pierced with a metal/silvery earring. He wish he could get tattoos but thinks he "probably wouldn't tolerate that much pain over such a long period of time."

Diet: "Anything goes." He thinks "pasta is boring unless you add some mushroom, a hearty meat sauce and spinach." He thinks "seafood is alright. Shrimps are very good" but to him "nothing beats a well done burger and salty fries!" He thinks that chickens tastes good but that "the source material looks messed up when it runs around and has feathers on it." Basically he thinks all birds are scary and that they "should stay as far away from him as possible!"

Favorite type of music: Bas likes most music but claims that Opera "is the worst." He also thinks that lyrical Jazz that is "too upbeat" sounds "weird and too loud/too confusing." Slow, Classical or electronic music is wonderful if he "wants to relax." He doesn't really appreciate Reggea music too much although "Mark" (Markus) has tried his best to show him "the beauty of it." Soul music is ok, but can get a bit too "screamy/naggy" after a while...

Fashion sense: He loves to wear colorful t- shirts, matched up with a well used, black suit jacket or black, wool coat jacket. Nearly all of his shirts has mostly either vibrant colors or has a cool pattern on them. But it has to be a pattern that is "repetitive and isn't too overwelming". According to himself he "probably doesn't own a single pair of suit pants." In addition to the colorful t-shirts and hoodies; dark or standard colored jeans, comfy shorts and sweatpants is what he "prefers to live in, depending on the season." A hat, preferably a cap worn the "correct way and not backwards" is a "must to protect his head from being burned". He loves colorful hoodies and brown or red scarfs. He doesn't like to wear beanies, because he thinks it "makes him look like the stereotypical black burglar/rapper guy". As for jewelry he doesn't bother to wear any except for the wrist watch he got from his dad, and his standard black or silvery gray earrings. He thinks goldchains are "super corny and he wouldn't be caught dead or alive wearing one! Not even if someone paid him!" As for shoes; regular short laced up leather boots are "easy to wear and they go with anything". Either that or he likes to wear black sneakers, as white sneakers, according to him "would again make him look too much of a rapper guy or some kid trying to impress someone".

Name: Markus E. Weiss and "please don't ever call him "Mark" or "Markie" or any other shortened nicknames as he doesn't appreciate that".

Gender: Male. He says he "doesn't understand the meaning or the need for the word cis. " He also says he "won't understand what 'being trans' means." Hopefully he can be thought otherwise.

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Straight

Nationality: West-German (the former GDR)

Skin color: White

Facial features: He thinks his face is pretty average and oval shaped, especially for "a man in his age". He has a slightly rounded, slightly pointed chin. His blue medium big, slightly down-turned eyes is for the most part behind a pair of silvery steel, squared shaped glasses. He has been told he has very "kind but sad looking eyes". His brown hair that has "gotten lighter with age", is sually sleeked back without any shaved sides. His hair tends to get very wavy the day after he has showered. His nose is slightly downturned with a slightly narrow- rounded tip and he thinks it looks "pretty average just like most of his face". He has pretty straight teeth except for one upper tooth off to the side that is a little shorter than the rest. His ears are a little portruding. His lips are thin, and it makes him look very mischeavious whenever he is lightly smiling.

Body type: "Asymmetrical" and he is "too embarrassed to tell you how/why". Although he believes he is "quite fit for a man of his age he "knows its only a question of time before he gets thinner or gets a belly/tummy just like most men his age if they don't regularly work out".

Piercings and tattoos: None. Because he thinks that "such things doesn't look right. Except for earrings", but for him earrings "belong in the past with his long hair and big sunglasses."

Diet: What he is being served, which is mostly vegetarian food now...unless "there is a special delivery that contains meat in it". He doesn't drink alcohol. He likes a good stew or "anything that is homemade with lots of love and tradition" but all in all he "isn't really picky on trying out new types of food".

Favorite type of music: He mostly listens to classic rock, or 80's rock, although "Soul and Reggea with a meaning has the sound that makes the world go around." He thinks Patti Smith, Pat Benatar and Annie Lennox are "very underrated." Some of his favorite artists includes Patti Smith, Queen, The Doors, David Bowie, The Ramones and The Rolling Stones. He "doesn't really care that much for hip hop, but they are talented in singing fast/rapping, but it just isn't what he would listen to".

Fashion sense: He mostly wears his uniform. Sometimes he wears the black turtle neck without the gray uniform jacket, and pairs this with the gray or navy blue uniform pants or black suit pants. He "probably doesn't own more than one pair of jeans but he swears that velvet bell-bottom pants were everything when he was younger!" He likes to sleep in black or dark gray sweat pants paired with old washed out band t-shirts or single colored (dark blue, white, dark gray or black) long-sleeves. When he is at work he has a silver pocket watch attached to his suitjacket or fastened by the hip at the belt of his suit/uniform pants. He thinks its "practical that the watch can be attached to the belt if it becomes too hot to wear the uniform jacket".)

___________________________________

That was some of the characters , but I'm also adding a little bonus. Richard Z Kay in a fancy halloween costume/sexy vampire bat-costume! I swear this character is always so extra. It's funny how real-life Richard Kruspe is one of my least favorite Rammstein member, but in my fic series he is actually one of my favorite characters and I am going to defend him at any cost! I honestly wish he was real and that we could hang out not just "in my head/imagination".

Name: Richard Zee Kay/ RZK/Richard Z. Kruspe/Richard Zven/Sven Kruspe Landers. (The list could be endless for a diva like him!)

Gender: male, bclaims that "sometimes he is a whole gender for himself that should NOT be messed with and always have his way or isn't "diva" considered a gender?"

Pronouns: He/him/"Katchen/Fab/Herr Fab/Frau Fab/Divalicious😘".

Sexuality: PAULsexual ❤ ("it's ok to be GAY"/fab-sexual)

Nationality: West Germany (former West-Berlin.)

Skin color: White or fake/real tan

Facial features: A very sharp jawline and a sharp chin, that he hates as it "looks way too masculine". He has ususally "neatly plucked brows". His eyes are big and blue but slightly downturned. His hair is naturally brown and thick/wavy but he used to have "awful blonde dreadlocks which wasn't his choice by the way". Nowadays (at the beginning of the story) he mostly keeps his hair short and dyes it black and "unlike your neighbour or your aunt he is a master colorist and knows EXACTLY what he is doing!" He has according to his husband Paul and his best friend Thalia a "charming, slightly boy-ish smile especially after he had his teeth properly cleaned and fixed". Another thing that Thalia and Paul has told him is that "his face is really expressive, especially when he disprooves/shows a disgust or confusion about something". He doesn't like his own nose as "it could have been a lot shorter" but his husband Paul has claimed that "that would probably make him look like Michael Jackson AFTER plastic surgery" so Richard slowly accepted the nose that "the universe gave him." He has thin lips, but according to him, his husband Paul "has never complained...if ya know what he means? 😉"

Body type: Richard "used to be a twink-teen in the 80's and early 90's (he was born in 1973 in my fic series) but has bulked up A LOT since then! 💪" He now (at the beginning of the story) has a strong v-shaped back with back-dimples something Paul seemingly "knows to take advantage of 😉" According to Paul, Richard's broad upper body is "both a turn on and an odd threat". Richard would now describe himself as "a friendly but bossy hunk with an ass that is bigger, more perfect and more plump than yours will ever be!". Further he claims that he "takes great pride in keeping his ass that way" and that "it's reserved for Paul H. Landers anygays so don't you even bother!". Richard describes his chest as "more amazing than whatever cleavage you will ever have." Further he says that "unfortunally he wasn't given a big dick that would match his big attitude", but he also tries to remind himself about how Paul always tells him that he "has a beautiful penis/Schwanz...just the way it is". In other words: Richard's below average dick size doesn't affect his self esteem "as much as it used to before he met Paul" and he claims "he owes this to his wonderful husband who loves him as him ❤".

Diet: "Anything goes as long as HE or any other professionally trained chef has prepared the food, because he used to be a chef before he became a hair stylist and master colorist". He claims that the reason for why he quit as a chef was "as much as he loved making food, it got too warm and stressful in the restaurant-kitchen and that just spiked his anxiety to the max!"). He prefers pasta or pizza and "didn't like soups at first but Paul convinced him and now he is hooked on all kinds of soups just as much as his husband!" He tries to eat as much proteins as he can "without chugging down on protein shakes, and actually if he can avoid having to drink those nasty shakes again and still get bulked up nicely, then that would be perfect!"

Piercings/tattoos: He "used to rock a belly button after he first started dating Paul but it rejected, and yes he is still upset by that." As for jewelry he first "shared one of Paul's silvery or black earrings and thought it was cute that they could wear one, each, until Paul began to nag on him to get it back for the sake of symmetry". Which "gave him the push to save money for another hole in the 2nd ear and finally buy his own earrings". Other than that he has been thinking about "getting a tongue piercing or a brow piercing" and although Paul seems to be "very supportive of the tongue piercing, he thinks Richard first needs to decide an actual SHAPE of his brow before he gets it pierced so sadly it never happened". As for tattoos, Richard doesn't have any but he claims that for a short time he "dead-seriously wanted to have 'Property of Paul L.' or 'Property of Heiko' (Paul's birth name.)" tattooed above his ass, but "Paul talked him out of it". He has also thought about getting a tattoo of a guitar on his wrist or shoulder that would "symbolize that his husband used to be a punk guitarist in a band in the 80's and early 90's". Another tattoo that Richard is still considering is "cool, diagonally aligned black stars on both of his hips."

Favorite type of music: "Paul's moans, laughter and guitar riffs🥰"... KISS. Scorpions. Firehouse "just to mention a few". He says he "loves to listen to any brutal Death Metal song, anything by Nine Inch Nails, Feeling B, Depeche Mode, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols or Danzig whenever he is jogging or lifting weights." He claims to have "always been a fan of 80's and 90's synth pop, goth, and punk and swears that his favorite punk band now is Feeling B" which was Paul's former band who disbanded sometime in the early 90's, but with a last concert in the early 00's. Some other of Richard's favorite bands/artists includes Sisters of Mercy. The Mission. London After Midnight. The Lords of The Church. Death. The Misfits. The Clash.Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. Tool. Slayer. Kreator. DIO. Lamb of God. Accept. White Snake. Nazareth. Meshugga... but "the list could go on and on but it's mostly guys with deep and kinda depressive voices.. " After he started dating Paul, Richard got into David Bowie and the industrial metal band Hindenburg" (although in your universe/the real world, they are known as Rammstein) while Thalia got him into liking Eisbrecher and darker techno.

Fashion sense: "The best!💋" according to himself; no matter what Paul, Thalia or anyone else tells him.

[greetingfromthedead]

C62: Day and Night

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Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Chapter: 62/84

Words: 1.8k

No particular warnings for this chapter.

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The two day track to Juukei turns into three. Vash kept his promise of doing you all day, and by the end of it, even you were exhausted and out of breath, barely taking any breaks to recover or to take care of your toma. As soon as you were back from tending to the birds, he pulled you back into his embrace to continue where you had left off.

Vash had fallen asleep between your legs, his head resting on your stomach. His coat engulfs your naked body while you sit halfway up and stroke his hair, gently holding him and caressing his skin as you keep watch over the night. You are so full of love—in love with the man in your arms, in love with your current outlook on life. You aren't afraid anymore of slipping away, of losing your mind, of losing the life you have.

Another day is lost in the little villages; the people seem happy, the children play in the streets, and you are filled with a different kind of peace. You remember enough of your past to understand people better, and Vash's presence fills you with comfort. He seems to be brimming with joy as the kids accidentally kick their ball towards him, and he gets to return it to them. He gives a friendly smile and waves as he guides his tomas by the headgear.

You spend the whole day mingling with the people; you get some food from the locals; and Vash buys the children ice cream. He looks so joyful as he gets to be with the people; it's easy to forget just how much he loves mankind and spending time with them. It's not just his guilt or duty pushing him to protect humans; it's genuine love and adoration. He helps everyone who needs it; he tries his best to make people happy and smile; he is so gentle with the villagers; it makes your heart burst.

As none of the villages had an inn, you move on to the town of Juukei, and suddenly the atmosphere changes completely. It's not quite dark yet, but the streets are mostly empty; women and children are nowhere to be seen; just some rougher looking men are moving around, giving the pair of you very mistrustful glances. This makes your skin tingle. How could there be such a vast difference between the settlements and what is going on here?

"We should get settled in," you say quietly to Vash from the top of your tomas.

"Yes." From his tone, you can tell he has picked up on the strange vibes too. "Excuse me, we heard there's an inn in this town, but we have circled around twice with no luck. Could you point us in the right direction?"

Vash's voice is kind and joyful, a masterful mask on his face as he addresses a man holding a shotgun over his shoulder. The man is skinny, with excess skin drooping on his face, the sun spots are dark on his cheeks and forehead. The balding head leans further back to get a clearer look, no longer just glaring through his gray eyebrows. He seems mistrustful of Vash's soft smile; your expression is more neutral in the back.

"And who might you be?" His tone is frank, "We don't like strangers coming to mess with us."

"We are just passing through. We mean no trouble." Vash stays calm and kind.

"And how would I know that?" His eyebrows rise higher. "We get a lot of weird strangers just passing through, except they leave with our money, our women, and our children! Get lost!"

"What is going on here?" Vash's tone becomes more concerned, "Is there trouble with bandits?"

"Bandits, thieves, lowlifes—you name it, they pour through our area!"

"We are only looking for a place to stay; we mean no trouble. You have our word."

"Ya may look harmless, but I don't trust you. But the inn is next to the pawnshop. There are no names on the building; don't need to invite trouble. You may go there, but know that there are always seven barrels pointed at you if you start any trouble at all."

"Thank you for your kindness!" Vash answers the old man with a smile, completely ignoring the threat he made. "Have a safe night!"

Vash pushes his tomas to move forward, and you follow him, giving the local a wave as you pass him. Your eyes go over the houses and streets again, and you notice all the residents having their eyes on you, some even more than that.

You manage to find the inn, but things don't get easier from there. There are a few men smoking and drinking in the corner; their gazes immediately start to follow the two of you. You can't make out what the hushed voices speak about, but from the general atmosphere, you assume it's about the two of you.

Vash manages to get a room from the innkeeper. The man was reluctant at first, not trusting either of you, but seemingly relaxed a bit thanks to your presence. Apparently there are a lot of disappearances in the area, not only the regular bandit problems with robberies and burglaries, but people have gone missing, mostly women and children, a few elderly, and on rare occasions, some men too. The locals suspect that they are being taken to December. Vash masterfully navigates through the conversation, getting details out of the man to piece together what is going on in the area.

You drop your bag onto the floor as Vash turns on the light in the room. Pushing off your boots, you let out a sigh. Your mind is distracted; the light mood of the day is replaced with something more sinister.

"Do you think the people were really moved to December?" you quietly ask.

"It could be, somewhere they are taken to, these people are scared," Vash says, taking off his red coat and hanging it over the back of a chair. He sits on the bed and looks at your approach. "Their loved ones are being kidnapped."

"You want to investigate, don't you?" You stand in front of him, your hand gently stroking his face.

"Yes." His hands rest on your hips. "I can't stand seeing people suffer."

"Then we'll investigate," you said, your thumb gently touching his birthmark. "Rest tonight; I'll stay up in case there is trouble."

"Are you sure?" His forehead leans against the upper part of your stomach, and his hands move around your body.

"Yes. You get some sleep; don't worry about a thing. If there is something, I'll wake you." Your hands cradle his head.

"You're the best." His muffled response vibrates against your skin. "I love you."

"I love you too. Don't worry your head about the rest right now." You try releasing his head to pull away, but instead his arms squeeze you tighter, and he leans backwards without letting go, pulling you closer. Your legs meet the frame of the bed. When you have nowhere else to go, he leans so far back that you end up falling onto the bed on top of him. He still won't let go as he turns to the side and his legs lock around you. It makes you laugh, and you play with his hair again as he settles in better, his limbs still tied around your body.

The night is quiet. Vash uses your lap as a pillow. His little snores echo in the room, but they don't drown out the voices coming from outside. The men patrol the streets, comparing notes and chatting as they meet. Apparently, it is calm; there are no new strangers in town, just two travelers, a man and a woman, who were looking for the inn.

Vash wakes with the early light, your fingers still stroking his soft hair. He takes your hand from his head, moves it to his lips, kisses the back of it, and then nuzzles his face into your palm. He mumbles something you can't make out.

"Good morning, Red!" You chuckle lightly. "I hope you slept well, but if you want to tell me something, then you need to speak up."

His eyes are still closed as his face moves up from your lap.

"I said I love you! And good morning!" He looks goofy, and his hair is an absolute mess. "I still feel bad for you staying up all night by yourself. You must be so bored."

"Don't worry, I counted the hairs on your head."

"Really?"

"No," you chuckle, "I was listening to the townsfolk. Three people have gone missing this week. One from Juukei, two from the village nearby. A little boy and his mother. I don't know about the third. First, the mother was taken in the evening, and the boy went to look for her by himself; he didn't come back. The third was taken during the night from their bed. The trouble comes with dusk; there are no problems during the day. It has been going on for a month."

"Should we stay another night?" his eyes open to look at you.

"They might not come or hit a different village. Maybe we should go check the surroundings again. Perhaps we can gather some more information during the day when they are less suspicious."

"You're right." His head settles back into your lap, but he turns onto his back to look at you better. "Are you sure you want to get tied up in this?"

"Of course." you smile and take his hand. "Even if I didn't think that it was important, I would still stick by you. I'll fight your fights alongside you."

You get ready, packing up your things again before going downstairs. The inn offers simple pre-fabricated porridge for breakfast, and the two of you eat in silence in a far corner, trying to pick up more information people might be talking about outside, but you gather no new intel, besides that, the men who stayed up all night to keep their families safe are tired, and with daylight they head home again.

The streets go quiet for a bit before more lively voices appear. Women and children go about their days as you finish your meal. You hear people cheerfully talking by the pawnshop, and the stark difference between now and last night strikes you as baffling. You finish up and throw your cloak over again to hide the knives you carry. You pick up your bag from the ground when you hear gunshots outside, and your eyes shoot to Vash, who has already reacted. His bag is under the table as he dashes to the door. You leave your stuff next to his as you follow.

Outside, there is an armored car, obviously stolen from a military police division. A few ruffians hang off from the sides of the vehicle, machine guns pointed into the air as they laugh maniacally, their course taken onto the pawnshop next to the inn.

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[beevean]

Kojima drawing Women's faces: Pretty diverse and unique. Nothing crazy but you can tell at a glance that they're all different people Kojima drawing Men's faces: "There's only one face that turns me on and I'm gonna draw it in a bunch of different ways"

Yeah, and unpopular opinion, I don't like it.

Her men are all really pretty, but the similarities sometimes are just too much

I love Trevor's design in CoD, and Richter in SoTN is really beautiful too... but they really look too similar:

Scar aside, Richter's hair is wavy while Trevor's is straight. That's it.

"oh but they're related" yeah, but Trevor was born 300 years before Richter, by this point the Belmont genes should have been diluted a little more

There was a post pointing out that Trevor and Mathias shave their eyebrows in the same way

Like, they have the same face! And Mathias sure isn't related to Trevor! Take notice of how many characters have the exact same eyebrows.

I know he's a fairly minor character, but Joachim is basically the illegitimate child of Alucard and Juste and in fanart I have trouble recognizing him because he has nothing to make him stand out

Also, as you can see, she really likes a specific shape of eyes and nose. You can tell Isaac wasn't supposed to be "pretty" because he has stronger features, much like Majima lol

This is a big issue in terms of character design. Almost all men drawn by Kojima have either have long hair (Simon in Chronicles, Walter, Trevor, Richter, Mathias, Maxime, Julius), fair hair (Leon, Soma), or more commonly long and fair hair (Alucard, Juste, Hector, Rinaldo, Joachim, St. Germain, Simon in GoS). The only exceptions I can think of are Isaac (shortish red hair), Graham (short grey hair), Hammer and Zead (both bald, and Zead's baldness is foreshadowing). Natural shades of red hair are nonexistent too: there are three characters with fire engine hair, and while I could accept it in Walter and Isaac's case to symbolize their villainy, Simon in Chronicles is such an eyesore that I refuse to accept it as canon lmao.

(this also seems to be a trend for women. She likes women with long, blonde hair, Mina and the Succubus in SoTN are the big exceptions. Oh, the Succubus also has fire engine hair. Women with long dark hair started to pop up in PoR and OoE, games Kojima didn't work on)

And this is nothing. Go ahead and count the non-vampiric characters that do not have blue eyes (heroes) or grey eyes (villains). I found teen Maria with green eyes (but as a child she had blue eyes), and Mina with brown (orange?) eyes. I get that blue eyes are really pretty, but you could have much more variety! How about giving blue eyes to the Belmonts only, if you have to?

Kojima is a brilliant artist, she really is, and she shaped the identity of the series. I like the general design of her characters, mainly their clothes... but it's undeniable that she suffers from severe Same Face Syndrome. In her Santa Lilio Sangre book there are a lot of men that look like other Castlevania characters, especially Alucard

[deceasedream69]

Braid

Summary: you make everything to make it obvious that you like Reid but when he doesn't reciprocate you think it's because he doesn't like you back.

_____________________________________

We were on the jet, this case wasn't so hard, but everyone was tired.

- "i like your hair", I said touching some strands Spencer's hair. Very softly and the ones that were far from his face because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

- "thanks", he said turning to look at me and then returning to his book.

- "can I braid it?"

- "what?"

- "you know... You have it long enough to make a couple of braids"

- "like Wednesday's braids?"

- "no", I laughed, "smaller, here at the front, and then tie them her at the back, so it looks like a crown. You can take it off after I finish obviously"

- "..."

- "nevermind", i laughed nervously and sitting back.

- "no, go ahead, sorry, I'm just deep into the book, but I don't mind", he said not taking his eyes off his book.

I got up and sat next to him, I was in the sit behind them when I asked.

- "can we go to the couch?"

- "ok"

We moved to the couch, he put his head on my lap and I started to braid the two strands that frame his face.

He was focused on the book the whole time, but crossed a few looks sometimes.

- "no one ever volunteered to braid my hair", he said closing his book and looking at me.

- "you have such a pretty hair, it's an honor", I said smiling.

He laughed.

- "yeah right", he closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

- "I finished...", I whispered.

- "mm?", He said opening one eye.

- "hi", I smiled, "I finished, well, almost, I need you to sit down to finish it"

- "ok", he sat down tiredly. I laughed at how cute he looked.

I put the last hair tie behind his hair.

- "and done! You want to see it?"

- "I'll see it later, thanks", he yawned and lay down again, on my lap.

My heart was out of my chest but I knew he didn't like me back. When he liked someone he was always really clumsy and awkward with them, and that's not the case with me, he's the usual level of awkward and clumsy.

Emily turned to look at me from on of the sits and winked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, I didn't want to end up disappointed.

We got out the plane and Derek as usually started to annoy Spencer, taking the braids as the subject of today.

- "you look really good, pretty boy, sorry, girl"

I instantly felt bad for offering to make them.

- "men, shut up, you're jealous, pretty boy, sorry, bald boy", I say back to him.

We always used to joke like this, really heavy, so I knew he wouldn't get so upset.

- "oof", the team started to laugh.

- "sorry" I said walking next to him.

- "it's ok, you gotta protect you crush, right? I respect that", he said pushing me slightly with his shoulder.

- "everyone knows except for him"

- "it's too obvious, mostly knowing you"

- "I'll just give up", I walked away.

JJ's pov.

Another day that y/n tried to make it obvious that she likes him but not getting at least a tiny signal that he likes her back.

And honestly we as the team knew that they liked each other, they just didn't noticed the things they made for each other.

- "hey, JJ, I need your help"

- "aww, you haven't taken off the braids"

- "Is it wrong if I say that I like them?"

- "I think you like who made them"

He blushed.

- "I... How do I know if she likes me back?"

- "are you blind, Spence?!"

He furrowed his eyebrows.

- "Spencer can I braid your hair, Spencer, can I draw something on your hand, or your arm. Spencer, you seem tired, want a hug?"

- "you really think...?"

- "Spencer, it's so obvious. Look, everytime she want to show love, what does she do?"

- "she mostly hugs us"

- "because physical touch is the way she shows her love, and she has tried to show it to you for days now and you haven't noticed. And she hasn't noticed how much you don't care physical touch if it comes from her, you two are blind and if I need to push you together then I will"

- "how come I didn't noticed all of this..."

- "go talk to her"

- "I will", he ran out of the room.

Y/n's pov

- "hey...", He stopped to breath properly.

- "hey, are you okay?", I asked worried.

- "yeah, I was just talking to JJ... It doesn't matter, the point is..."

- "yeah...?"

He seemed really nervous, even fidgeting with his own fingers.

- "I- well- I-"

- "you good?", I asked smiling.

- "I heard you like me", he said quickly.

I turned into the nervous one.

- "what? Who told you that?", I said nervously but the feeling dissipated quickly. "I don't care, yes, I like you, for a while now, and you just found out because someone had to tell you? I thought I was pretty obvious..."

- "I like you too, but... I never thought you'll like me back. I mean, look at you, and... And look at me..."

- "are you kidding me?! It's the other way around, look at you, you're a whole ass genius and I'm... Well, me"

- "so..."

- "wanna kiss or what?"

He laughed.

- "sorry", I said laughing.

- "no, it's ok. I do want to kiss"

His lips were soft and his hands were perfectly placed on my waist. I felt everything so magical, until the team had to brake our moment.

- "mhm", Derek cleared his throat.

We both broke apart, our faces red as fuck.

- "get back to work", said hotch plainly.

Spencer and I turned to look at each other smiling in embarrassment, but I was glad our feelings were out now.

[stinkyme]

Honestly we AINT GONNA LEAVE no unsucked dick behind

Katsura, unnamed blonde guy, Jun (that hot officer from the new season), katai,yokomizo, tokio

I'll even give kajii a chance

I do minus out the older men (except for fukuzawa and Mori they can get it)

(((also pushkin is excluded from this))))

(((((((((no thank you)))))))))))))))))))

Hirotsu can also get it for sure, I don't make the rules👩🏻‍🦯👩🏻‍🦯

Only men I wouldn't fuck are Fukuchi and Kajii SORRY BABE, I LOVE LEMONS BUT I HATE FEET AND HIS GRIPPERS NEED TO BE COVERED LIKE RN

pushkin can get free pegging with a gun i hate his bald ass like hell nah

I also wouldn't fuck Fitzgerald as well, only thing I jerk off when it comes to him is amount of money he had, other than that nuh uh and I also have a bad feeling about him idk why

KATSURA IS SO EMO I LOVE HIM LMAOOOO he can get it

Also policeman, mhm mhmmmm I love them uniformed (looking at Nikolai and Fyodor)

Bram is fine asf too, I would deepthroat the sword (JUST KIDDING DONT COME FOR ME)

[dhmis-posts]

- For a while I've been planning to do an AU swap {since I'm interested in that type of AU} where, in a way of saying mine, the four old men change roles {lesley, roy, money man and malcolm}.

- Malcolm gets the part of Lesley, Lesley gets the role of Roy

- roy from money man, and money man from malcolm.

- Taking into account that it is a world turned upside down, the protagonists are: blue guy {who gets the role of green guy/yellow guy}, green guy {who gets the role of red duck/duck guy} and red duck {which gets the role of blue guy/red guy}

- On the subject of teachers, those of the first season will be continuous; For example, Larry becomes Paige, Paige becomes Tony, Tony becomes Shrignold, and Shirignold {along with the rest of the cult} becomes Colin.

- meanwhile the teachers of the second season will be changed randomly, since it is not that I can change them with those of the first season either because of what was said before

- EXTRA/AU DATA:

1 - lesley having the role of roy, and blue guy the yellow guy/green guy, that would make them family. Although they don't look much alike because you can see that this is a little blue monster, and she is a "human" puppet, but that could be explained with the thing about Blue's father who was something similar to him. Also, blue like lesley, they have pads on their hands and feet, and "orange/red" meat

2 - Tony is the only one in the "money man" cult, and he usually tries to get people to join. Unlike the cult of love, the cult is related to wealth, strength, more fertility, etc

3 - the names are different except those of the "old 4"

4 - the relationship between roy, lesley and blue will surely be "familiar": this occurred to me while I was looking at the drawings of the three of them, and I realized that "the bald guy" looked like blue. And at that moment, it occurred to me, that his father could do it. Since it would be easier than making another character

- anyway, that's all, bay bay ^^

[mwya]

hair being patchy is not related to the thickness of the hair, shaving changes the thickness of the strands of hair

if we dig into that you'll see the difference bw an adolescent who grew some beard but refuses to shave and another guy who shaves frequently, the hair is definitely thicker/darker

or even legs, like my leg hair was not really that clearly seen but i shaved anyway (except my thighs bc i dont show them) and now i can see crazy difference bw the hair of my thighs and below the knees... the part i shave got a much thicker hair and is easily seen now if i dont shave every few days

even shaving the face changes the thickness of the hair too idk wym have u tried it? literally the hair is not the same after shaving and no one even needs to 'use their brain' to think about it bc people actually experience it and it happens but idk if there are some rare ppl who are lucky to shave w/o any hair change (which i think mostly r lying or have never tried waiting for the hair to grow back fully after shaving to see the difference) anyway shaving sucks

I see that you did not use your brain but that's okay because not all of us can read! Men tend to start shaving during puberty WHICH IS WHEN THEY START GROWING THICKER BODY HAIR. Shaving any hair on your body makes the strand blunt so it can APPEAR darker or thicker but ultimately shaving never has and never will make your hair thicker. It's a myth. Balding men would shave their heads if this were even remotely true. Why don't you use google instead of acting like a fool in my fucking inbox