Tumgik
#i dont have the heart to give him a new name bc nothing will ever fit him better
pansy-picnics · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
splatoon oc silliness (ft @shr000min)
83 notes · View notes
narrators-journal · 1 year
Note
tumblr gave me an error last time so im gonna try again bc im adamant. can i have boyfriend rights and get you to write me a self indulgent tooth rotting fluff vash one shot pwease... u can make it reader... or use addy.... if you dont wanna look into trigun lore outside of vash you can make it reverse isekai bc i think vash deserves a break.... ok wuv you kissa you so sweetly
So! I have never seen more than a tiktok of Vash the stampede, so I know NOTHING of this show and won't write for it again. But, you have boyfriend rights and I have an inkling of Vash's personality, so enjoy my best attempt at some fluff to cheer you up, honeybee <3
Sometimes the universe revealed some wild abilities, like an extinct animal evolving back into existence, or some scarily lethal toxins. Whether it was a nice surprise or a bad one, the world still had a few tricks up her sleeve it seemed. Which, was how you somehow ended up with a tall, lanky, traumatized goofball as a new roommate and flirting buddy.
Vash really was a marvel of the world, something of a 8th wonder due to being an anime character come to reality. And, despite coming from a sci-fi, dystopian tale, he was nowhere near as sharp-edged and blood-thirsty as the movies you'd seen would lead someone to believe.
Instead, Vash was as careful with everything as a giant with the worlds most delicate china. Ever since staying with you, he'd proven to be a whole-hearted pacifist. From you, to a deer you got the pleasure of watching headbutt him in the gut and toss the metal-armed man into the air, the blonde didn't even raise his voice, let alone put a harmful finger on anyone or anything.
Despite every horrid thing you'd read of this man going through in his manga, he had a kindness that warmed your heart every time you saw it. So, you wanted to return that favor and give him some source of low-effort joy of his own. One that he couldn't argue he'd accidentally hurt with his metal arm's strength or lose with his bad luck.
Which, is why you hauled home a tank, decoration, and a fish.           "Hey! Vash!" You called once you walked through your front door, your roomie soon emerging from the spare room he had claimed as his own.           "Uh, there something you need?" He asked, jumping to help you carry in the fish tank before you could even ask. As eager to be of use as ever.
But, you weren't going to complain. Vash could haul in the hefty glass tank and stand as if they were little more than loaves of bread, and all you had to do was give him the order and he was off to fetch you whatever you needed for the assembly or tank set up. It made getting everything together a far easier task than if you had to do it yourself.
      "So, who's the fish for? I always took you as a cat or a dog person." The blonde asked when you finally put the fish in. And before you answered, you took a moment to see the simple glee in the scarred man's face while he watched the colorful creature swim around, taking it as a sign that this was a good idea. "It's actually for you, hon. So you can have something to take care of and keep you company." At that, the tall man shot up, his eyes suddenly wide with horror, "What?! But what if I mess it up? I could kill this little guy after you spent all this money on him?!"
You shook your head at the argument, simply smiling at him, "Come on, Vash. You stay home all day worrying and fretting over me while I'm at work, you deserve a little friend to help keep you calmer." You explained, making the tall man squirm as if your kind gesture physically hurt him. "I really don't deserve this consideration..." "Well I insist! You don't do anything for yourself, so I did something for you. You can name them whatever you want, enjoy your fish." Upon your insistence, Vash did back down, but you could still see the uncertainty in his eyes.
However, you didn't comment on it and simply went on to make yourself some lunch. You left Vash with his fish and only peeked into the living room now and then to see him just watching the colorful creature with the interest of a child watching saturday cartoons.
64 notes · View notes
ladytauria · 6 months
Note
hey liv sorry in advance i am nosy
🍓🐇🧃🪐🍬🦷🦋🦴🪲
dont be sorry! i enjoy nosy uwu
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
hmm
i was 12. my favorite tv show at the time was this old disney cartoon, "super robot monkey team hyper force go" (abbreviated as SRMTHFG or SRMTHG. i prefer the first but plenty of people use the second.) it was canceled after its 4th season and, uh. the ending was SO bad. like, major major cliffhanger.
anyway, i was looking up... i don't even remember at the time. and i discovered deviantart, and i discovered this person's OCs. read a lot about them, including some fanfic, and then eventually discovered fanfiction.net
i didn't realize what it was at first; i thought it was just a writing in general site? and i was like oh! i can share the book i'm working on! (i have been trying to write a novel since i was 10). and then as i was looking into where i would post it, i realized what it actually was. (no, the title didn't give it away. idk why.)
so then i was like oh!!! this is really cool actually!!! and i wrote my first fanfic xD
that was in 2011? so i was 12, almost 13.
and i've been reading & writing fic ever since~
🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?
okay so this is a tough question
bc like
i love love love love love second person.
like.
*adore* it.
second person, present tense is my absolute fave, but past tense is good too. (i have written an entire sapphic little mermaid retelling [12k words i think] in second person. uh, it needs revisions but it's a full draft. i opened it it the other day and im still so proud of it uwu)
howEVER. outside of writing second person w/o ever explicitly naming the pov character i have not actually written a reader-insert? so for that reason alone i will have to say 'prefer writing oc's'
🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before
uhh
hm
i'm a chronic oversharer (mostly in the tags) so that's kind of tough!
ah! since my grandmother's memory issues started, i've been doing about half of the cooking (it's been a bit of a battle, as she keeps trying to do everything xD) and i've cooked a lot of new things this year!! i've gotten very good at cooking pork chops. which 🤔 now that i bring that up, i might make friday! or tonight, but they're still in the freezer, so...
🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now
my grandmother's memory situation has improved a lot!! it's still not great, but like. strides ahead of where we were 7-8 months ago!
my anxiety has been much kinder to me this year <3 i've made some very lovely friends this year~
mmm, oH, my energy levels have been fantastic this year. i didn't realize just how bad they had gotten until i started these new meds, and now i'm just. <333 much better.
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
hm
idk if i have any unpopular opinions...? i mean. i'm sure i must, but... nothing immediately comes to mind ^^;
🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on
hmmm
recently been trying to get in the habit of summarizing what i want to do before i start writing. it makes the process much easier, if ik a bit about what i want to do before going in?
🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately
i am much better at being patient than i ever gave myself credit for in the past <3
🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?
i can't think of one piece in particular, as the places i find inspiration are. all over the board?
🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
picked a wip from my open tabs at random! funnily enough this is also the one i ended up doing for the emoji ask xD
it's also almost triple what this asked for but once i started writing i couldn't stop <3
He swallows, staring up at Tim. Jason has had plenty of practice reading people through a domino, but. He has no reference for the look Tim is giving him now. Only that it— That the feeling it gives him is… is new and strange. He has no name for it, the way his stomach feels fluttery and tight, his scalp and fingers tingling. His mouth opens—but all that escapes is a stuttery puff of air. That’s okay. He doesn’t know what he was going to say anyway. Tim hooks a gloved finger under his chin; tipping his face up. He leans in, slowly—so slow that Jason— There’s nothing keeping him there. He could run. Turn away. But he feels caught, feet anchored in place. Tim’s mouth touches his, and all thought leaves him. Jason has never been kissed before.
[ writers truth or dare ask game ]
4 notes · View notes
Note
OK ok. many things 2 say. i just woke up and read ur answer so bare w me i have a lot
first of all. yeah people really fuck with malons character and the tropes they stick to her are boring at best and misogynistic at worst and it makes me Very Upset. shes one of my favs and shes actually rlly interesting if u squint (im abt to make 2 posts abt that lol) but noooo shes Time's Wife and The Boys Mother and nothing more . when it comes to Time L/U its weird bc it takes the heroes shade into account (which is fine! it is canon!) but imo the heroes shade completely fucked her character to shit and disregarded her entire story of oot and mm and. hhhh. i dont like that version of her becoming the Main Interpetation. please stop making her a brooding asshole please consider her as shes written pleaaaase 🙏🙏
i dont blame u for finding oot and mm dull. theyre long and old and not quite story-heavy as sksw and botw but im just insane about its themes and characters so if u ever have questions i can prolly answer them (and itd make me super happy lmao 🕺💃)
i didnt even know the shortened names were a completely fanon thing what !! hell world ig aaaagh
and OK THANK YOU!!!! there is a MASSIVE difference between tired and sleepy and he is TIRED if anything !!!!!!!! the entire game is about how devoted link is to saving zelda that it caused the reincarnation cycle OF COURSE HE WOULD BE TIRED. OF COURSE HE WOULD SACRIFICE SLEEP FOR THE SAKE OF HER. OF COURSE!!!!!!!!! i will say that there is this interesting thing w sksw in that, like... you start out being told link is someone who is very carefree and almost lackadaisical. he lives with his head in the clouds and takes things at his own pace and he likes to stop and smell the roses and whatnot (see: everything zelda says at the beginning of the game abt him not practicing and not rlly taking it seriously and etc etc etc). hes too late to see her at the forest temple and impa tells him he was too late to SAVE her and THEN we get that iconic "am i late?" "no. youre right on time." scene, and then it ends w ghirahim saying hes "far too quick" at the end of the game. what im getting at is that hes trying so, so hard throughout the game to be the hero zelda needs, and he gets better and better and better (albeit at his own expense). i DO think the impa scene was the major turning point and fucked up his view of himself ("why would i need to take care of myself when she still needs to be saved?") but point is. he is trying so hard. yes hed be tired and itd almost certainly be self imposed but sleepy? LAZY??? did you play the game past the opening .
you and me have the same brain abt sksw link i think. no more sleepy soft sweetheart link i want sksw link with a good heart who is still ultimately so sooo tired and weary bc he is putting everything he is into saving his friend but who also wont pass up the opportunity to fuck with people or wreck shit if he wants to.
ok sorry for the long messages. Why am i not following you what hang on
Dang :/ you really can't have anything in this place, huh? (Also I'd love to hear what you have to say on the hero's shade (even if its just in the context of lu), because I do quite like him (although the version that exists in my head is admittedly a bit-- different))
It's not that I don't want to watch it its just that I know after about three hours I'll be giving up (yeah I can replay a game I've already finished three times for six straight hours but GOD FORBID I try to watch a new show or listen to a podcast :/)
Yeah the names are shortened. yall could've been creative at least? It feels like it reduces them down even further, if that makes sense
YES he's getting faster and faster but at what cost!! Buddy you're going to make yourself sick!!! Take a break once in a while!!! (I say while actively writing several fics in which he Does Not Take A Fucking Break)
At this point sksw link simply has no shits left to give. Like yeah he'll help people but. Wouldn't it just be so much easier to give this love letter away as toilet paper? And also like I know it's just restrictions on how many words they can get in the boxes. But he seems like a pretty blunt guy. I think someone who's a quote unquote "soft sweetheart" would at least be willing to use more than three words at a time (and he wouldn't walk closer to better hear a private conversation, cough, pipit and his mom, cough, and then lie about it)
1 note · View note
kyovtani · 3 years
Text
𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)
Tumblr media
— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader
— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN
— word count: 9.6k
— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-
— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)
[ part one ]
— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)
Tumblr media
"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.
“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.
"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.
"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.
“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.
At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.
After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.
However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.
"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.
The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.
Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.
However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.
Kyoutani Kentarou.
You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.
"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"
"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.
"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.
"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.
You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.
After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.
The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.
It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.
"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.
His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.
"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."
"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.
Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.
After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.
Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.
He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.
After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).
You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.
You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.
At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.
However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.
He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.
"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.
"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.
And then realization hits you.
"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.
Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.
And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.
"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.
“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.
"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”
Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.
"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.
“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.
"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.
"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.
"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.
"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.
"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."
Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.
A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.
It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.
The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.
He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.
You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.
"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.
Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.
"But you're not good for me."
You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.
The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.
You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.
Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.
Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.
You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.
"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.
And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.
"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.
“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.
"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”
Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.
Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.
There you are, yet again.
Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.
The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.
Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.
Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.
You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.
And then it hits you.
The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.
Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.
And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.
"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.
You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.
"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.
"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”
You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.
After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.
Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.
"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.
"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.
But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.
"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”
Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.
You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.
"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.
"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."
"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.
"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”
You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.
“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.
"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”
And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.
"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.
“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"
You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."
And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.
"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.
You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.
And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.
"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.
You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.
With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.
"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”
You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.
Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.
But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.
"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.
He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.
After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.
You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.
And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.
"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.
"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.
“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.
"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.
Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.
"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.
“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.
"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.
Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.
"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.
"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."
"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"
His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.
You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.
However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.
Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.
"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.
"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.
"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.
Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.
You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.
“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.
"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.
Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.
Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.
"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.
You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.
The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.
It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.
And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.
"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.
Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.
You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.
Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.
And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.
You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.
Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.
"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.
It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.
You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.
You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.
But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.
"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.
Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.
Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.
He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.
"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.
“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.
Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.
But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.
"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.
"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.
“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.
Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.
"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.
"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.
"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.
"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.
“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.
"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.
“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.
“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”
“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.
You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.
And then he finally starts moving.
A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.
“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”
You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.
His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.
“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.
“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.
You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.
“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.
“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”
A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.
And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.
“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.
“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”
“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.
He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.
You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.
“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.
And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.
“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”
You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.
The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.
You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.
"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”
You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.
And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.
Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.
"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.
Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.
“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."
You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.
"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.
His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.
Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.
"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.
"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.
"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.
Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.
"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.
Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.
"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.
This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.
"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.
Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.
And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.
And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.
[ banner source ]
2K notes · View notes
dollediary · 3 years
Text
I Still Wanna Try
I. False Hopes
yes this is a series now ;)
🏹 pairing(s): heeseung x female reader, heeseung x giselle, sunghoon x female reader, jake x female reader
🏹 genre: angst, smut
🏹 warning(s): language, manipulation? cheating
🏹 synopsis: y/n and heeseung, two highschool sweethearts whose relationship seemed to only have grown worse as time went on. what was once nothing but puppy love turned into an immature and toxic romance that lead to the downfall of their relationship. heeseung, the displayed unfaithful partner, went seeking comfort in the arms of another woman, essentially cheating on y/n. after the situation was brought to light, he lost y/n. now, with the help of his friend jake, we get to watch as he carelessly tries to win her heart over, while either earning her trust back, or making matters worse for himself.
🏹 word count: 3.7k
"...could i request a heeseung or jaeyun fic- prolly where they’re in a very toxic and unhealthy relationship , and they start another argument in front of their friends which leads to another one while they’re at home. jus bickering and heeseung or jaeyun being strictly mean to y/n. it could end up wid smut or angst! up to you <33 if you’re comfortable wid it"
I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND DID NOT FOLLOW THE REQUEST AT ALL I'M SO SORRY!!!😭😭 it's just like toxic heeseung x toxic fem!reader ft. jake and sunghoon 😩 also i didn't turn this into a smut because i was too excited to write an angst story!! i hope you enjoy regardless! (as always to my readers, dont be shy to send in requests u creative mfs‼️it takes some time, but i think i make it worthwhile! also i have another fic coming out that actually ties into this that is also a request, but i could potentially turn this into a smut after i post the other one bc the context of it would make it 100x better, but let me not get ahead of myself!! anyways i hope y'all enjoy because this is different than the works i've done so far i think??
[♪masterlist | next →]
"my god, y/n you do this every fucking time, do you even understand how unbearable you are?" heeseung said with the roll of his eyes as he laid down fully on the couch you recently were sitting on. you were up and about, and in tears, as you angrily grabbed your phone and keys, throwing them into your purse.
"unbearable, huh?" you seethed as you angrily turned your body to him and. "that's new. hm, maybe i should add it onto the list of 'shitty things my boyfriend has called me'," you pulled your purse up, throwing it over your shoulder as you stood there. a big part of you wanted to leave, but the other part was screaming into your ear to stay and argue, and that was the part you would always listen to.
"it's weird as hell that you're keeping a list," he said with a laugh as he nonchalantly scrolled through his phone. you rolled your eyes as you watched how unbothered he was. it was like this was only bothering you. it was always that way. you two would argue, whether it be over text or in person, and he would just sit there and act like he didn't give a shit. you were starting to believe that he really didn't.
"obviously it's not a real list, heeseung," you said, refraining from calling him out of his name so he wouldn't be able to use it against you if things were to boil down enough for a civilized conversation. "it's just always at the back of my head since you never fail to make me feel shitty about myself whenever shit like this happens."
"oh i'm sorry, i didn't expect you to hold everything i've ever said to you against me, y/n," he yawned, still not looking your way. "but what can i expect? you'll do anything just to remain the victim every single time, right?" his bitter laugh boomed through your ears like a siren you couldn't turn off. you clenched your fists hard, doing everything in your power not to blow off even more, but this man always made it so hard for you.
"because i am the victim, i never do this shit to you, yet you do this all the fucking time," you said, yet he still made no effort to pay any real attention. "i don't even want to be here anymore, you ruined my whole mood. i can't even be at peace in your presence without you finding a way to fuck with me."
"no one's forcing you to be here," he said, referencing that you could easily leave. he knew you didn't want to leave, that you wanted to get the last word in. usually he would let you, and let the conversation, for an actual discussion about your feelings be made, but he was so sick of always being the blame. always being painted as the shitty boyfriend when you were just as bad as he was.
still wanting to get a reaction out of him, you tried to think of a way to rile him up just enough to get the same energy you were giving him. then it dawned on you like a lightbulb switching on. "and no one's forcing me to keep this stupid ass neck lace on either," you said ripping it off in the heat of the moment. the weak golden chain that was once securely around your neck was now cracked and broken as you threw it at him.
you had finally caught his attention once the broken anniversary necklace landed on him. his ears started burning red with anger as he picked up the jewelry off of his chest where it landed. "fuck you!" heeseung said as he threw it behind him as he got up, towering over you as looked down with anger in his eyes.
"no fuck you! i'm tired of this shit. i'm not gonna let you keep treating me like shit!" you were unfazed by his gaze since you'd seen it so many times before. if anything, you were only gonna test him more to see how far you could push him. oh, but he had other plans in mind.
"oh, but you will, y/n! you know why? because you know no matter what i say or do to you, you're not gonna leave. you. never. do," he said, poking your forehead with every emphasis. you glared up at him as you smacked his hand away from you. a scoff left your lips, feeling like he was starting to tear your wall of anger down with that sentence. now it felt more... personal. because he was right.
"well my fucking bad for wanting to be loved by you, heeseung," your words and tone were still the same, but it was evident that what he said got to you. he knew it would anyways because, contrary to belief, he knew how to get under yout skin, too. and you deserved to be hurt after what you did to that necklace he spent his hard earned money on for you.
"well, fuck, y/n. you shouldn't be with a man if you feel like he doesn't love you, don't you think?" he asked, challenging you even more. tears brimmed in your eyes again as you kept eye contact with him. of course you knew you couldn't stop the tears from forming, but if there was one thing you could do, it was stopping them from falling.
"i'm obviously staying because i want you to love me." you know, the way you used to. before our heads constantly crashed together, before the first name was called, before the first block and break we took because of it. she wanted to say, but her pride wouldn't let her. and if there's anything or anyone she'll listen to, it's her pride. "but it's clear that you don't, so maybe i shouldn't be with you."
just by the look in your eyes, as well as the tears you let fall, heeseung knew that you were no longer being spiteful with him. though the two of you had argued badly in person, it's only gotten this bad through text. but even so, this was worse. and even though he knew what you were saying was said genuine, he kept searching your eyes just for another second, hoping there was some sort of evil intent. or some sort of lie.
but there just... wasn't. your eyes only looked back in his with pain. you felt a lump forming in your throat while looking back. his eyes scanning yours for something more was only making it hurt more. but every ounce of you was tired. daily arguments, daily disrespect, daily disregard for your feelings is making your mental health crumble. if you didn't leave now, you were sure you'd never be able to. but aside from that knowledge, this is also your brain telling you that, if he fights for you now, it's worth fixing.
"yeah," heeseung said with a sigh after juggling the pros and cons of breaking up, the pros weighing hundreds more. "maybe you shouldn't." he took a few steps back while you only looked at him, eyes widened while your heart only broke into pieces at his words. you didn't dare let out an audible sniffle, stopping anymore tears from falling so as to not show him that this was genuinely breaking your heart.
"uh, guys? i don't think this is the place to be doing that," you and heeseung's head turned to see jake sitting on the couch, phone in one hand while the other held one of his airpods that he'd taken out of his ear. you don't even know why that replaced your sadness with anger. and you didn't know why it made you mad at jake. how embarrassing is it to be broken up with in front of your boyfriend's friends.
"shut the fuck up, jake."
you turned back to heeseung who was looking at you with the same surprised expression. since when did you guys say shit in sync? he let out a bitter laugh while jake got up, quietly excusing himself so as to not cause anymore tension. you rubbed your arm awkwardly avoiding eye contact once reality set in again. heeseung noticed this and his heart fell once again.
"god, y/n," he said, pulling you into his embrace, your face buried in his chest. he had one arm protectively around your back, the other on the back of your head caressing it slowly. "you don't know what you're doing to me." you could hear the crack in his voice as he rested his chin on top of your head. you've never seen him get emotional, yet alone hear it.
"i'm sorry, i don't wanna break up."
"i don't want to, either."
"can we just go home and pretend everything's okay? even if it's not?"
"of course, baby," he said, grabbing your hand, leading you to the door.
Tumblr media
"you can't seriously be mad at me right now!" heeseung screamed following closely behind you. you ignored him, your stomping getting louder as you got closer to your room. luckily the door was open from when you left it open earlier, so it was easier for you to (at least attempt to) slam the door on him had his hands not been so quick. "y/n, stop ignoring me. i swear to fucking god."
"stop following me," you said, your tone as cold as ice as you made a quick u-turn walking out the room, but not before trying to pull it shut on him. he quickly reopened it, groaning frustratedly. "stop trying to shut doors on me, i'm tryna talk to you!"
"fuck you, i don't wanna talk," you said, journeying your way into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator door with unnecessary force as you angrily looked around for something- anything to drink.
"so you're just gonna keep ignoring me?!"
"seems like it!" you said, slamming the fridge door shut again you begin to walk away from him, only stopping when you feel him harshly tug at your arm, making you turn around to face him. to say you weren't still attracted to him, even though all you could see was red, while looking at him would be a lie. you could see his once fluffy bangs sticking to his forehead like glue from the sweat he worked up while chasing after you, complimented by the rosy redness of his cheeks and his chest heaving only a little bit abnormally while he got his breathing under control.
if you hadn't seen what was on his phone, you would've fallen back into his arms, cluelessly and willingly letting him sweet talk his point across. maybe it could've been something petty that you two would be able to have gotten over, or just a petty argument that you two would have set your prides aside for. but it wasn't. and it won't be, no matter how much you wished it were.
"look, i don't know what you saw on there, but whatever it was doesn't give you the right to go through my phone."
is that why you've gone out of your way to face your phone downward everytime we're together? is that why you've been voluntarily leaning away from me to answer your phone every time it vibrates? is that why you were bugging me nonstop asking me if i had anything to tell you? because you knew you had something to tell me? because you were so guilty, that you wanted there to be a possibility that i would have the same shame you did?
there were so many questions you wanted to ask. and so much you wanted to say. and you had genuinely thought earlier that if you were angry enough you'd be able to cuss him out about it. or start a whole new elaborate argument, over literally anything, for you to hit him with the information you found so you could have the upper hand before kicking him out.
but you weren't angry. maybe you were before, not anymore. especially not when you face him and look him in the eyes. not when he's looking at you as if you needed to be the one apologizing for going through his phone. like you needed to cooperate with him, now. not when it's as serious as this. and especially not when it's hurting you this bad.
your mind and heart raced as you looked at him, not wanting to say anything just yet because you knew whatever you'd say to him would be what you were really feeling. and if there's anything you hated, it's having people know that they've gotten under your skin or hurt you. and that's exactly what he did, maybe worse than that. "can you please say something?" he begged, the desperation being more than clear on his face and in his tone.
"am i not good enough for you?"
his eyes widened, then softened. his once tight and firm grip on your arm loosened as you retracted it back to your side where it belonged. you could tell he knew exactly why you asked that by the way he struggled to find the words to say. but what was there to say that wouldn't contradict his actions. "y/n... that was before we got back together. it only happened because... i only did that because i thought we were seriously going to break up. you know i'm not like that."
then what are you like? tell me. why are you still texting her, heeseung? why have you been texting her for months, going to her every time we have issues? why is she so comfortable telling you she'll be ready to pick up the pieces i leave behind the second we call it quits for real?
"you're giving her false hopes at a relationship," you sniffled, not being strong enough to confront the more important questions your body kept screaming at you to ask. he bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head.
"no, i didn't," he said defensively. "i told her i didn't know when we would break up. but that was only because she was asking if we'd be breaking up soon!"
"that's giving her false hope, you asshole!"
"how the fuck is that giving her false hope, y/n?!" he raised his voice, running his hand through his hair. "it's not like we're going to be together forever at this rate! i can't keep doing this back and forth shit with you, and i definitely can't keep doing this on and off, and blocking each other every other day shit, either. i'm tired of pretending like this relationship is still fixableㅡ like this is still worth saving."
"so why can't you just fucking leave me?!"
"because i don't know how!"
"so you just keep another girl on the sidelines in hopes that i leave soon so you can immediately move on?!"
"i already fucking told you it's not like that! she's just a friend!"
"i don't think friends are supposed to tell you they'll be “ready to pick up the pieces i leave behind the second we call it quits for real”, heeseung! i don't think you should be telling your friends to call you because you think we're “done for real this time”."
"well what else am i supposed to do? am i supposed to lie and tell you that i don't want you anymore? am i supposed to stop crawling back to you the second you give me the opportunity to? why do you think i'm here right now?! why do you think i'm still trying to love you!"
because you feel bad and pity me?
"why?"
"because i actually love you! and no matter what, i will continue to choose you over anybody any day. even if she loves and treats me better in months than you have in years, i will never look in her direction as long as you're in mine, y/n."
somehow even after all the wrong he's done, he still makes your broken heart beat faster at his words. his words were so sickeningly sincere. he genuinely felt like he loved you, afterall he was more than willing to go through the same draining cycle again and again with you every time you asked for him back. that was enough to prove it right? he held out his hand, silently begging for yours, and for a second you were almost trapped under his spell again, but you knew better. you stepped back and shook your head at him.
"no. this isn't love anymore." it isn't love. and i know it. no matter how hard i try to push this aside, or try to excuse it, it hurts too much to. i can let a lot of things go when it comes to us, but not this. not when you've already opened your heart, emotionally, for another girl to make her home. i just can't do it.
you wanted to tell him, but the words wouldn't come out of your mouth, instead they showed through your eyes while he kept searching them for something anything! any kind of doubt or second thoughts that he could twist and rethread to make you stay one last time. if you could show any signs of not wanting to let go, he could talk it into you and be better this time! he could cut her off without any last word and fix everything.
"no. no, no, no, no, no, no. please don't say that. we can fix thisㅡ"
"but aren't you tired of pretending like this relationship is still fixable? like it's still worth saving?"
"fuck! i only said that in the heat of the moment, i didn't mean it, please. i can fix this. please just don't let me go, y/n. i love you so much, you know this. and you know you love me, too."
your heart hurt too much to even reply to him at this point, all you could do was shake your head while you looked any and everywhere else but his eyes. by now his tears were falling, too. he knew now that he had become the shitty boyfriend. and no matter how bad you were in his eyes, you were no longer just as bad as he was. a sigh left his lips as he searched for the last piece of unsureness in you. maybe you were right. maybe it wasn't love anymore.
"fuck, i'm sorry, y/n. i really am. i don't know why i keep making these dumb ass mistakes. i don't know why i keep doing this shit when i know it hurts you. i don't know why i led her on when i knew that no matter what happens i wouldn't be able to let you go. i don't know what i'm supposed to do without you. i can't see a world without you in it. you still mean everything to me, i really don't want to lose you."
"please, heeseung," your voice was barely above a whisper, and even though you genuinely didn't want to look him in the eyes, you knew this was the only way to communicate it. "just go, you've done enough. i wish you two the best, we've been holding onto this too long. i can't force compatibility anymore."
he fell to his knees in desperation, grabbing onto your hand as he looked up at you putting aside all the pride he had left. "you don't mean that. we're not forcing anything! i promise i'm gonna change. i'll do anything, you can't let me go!"
you sighed, grabbing his hand with your other one, helping him get back on his feet. "thank you for being my first love but, at this point, that's all you can be. no love is worth this amount of pain. now, please leave. i can't handle any more of this. i love what you were able to bring into my life, but your heart doesn't belong to me anymore."
he took his hand back, looking up to blink back any other tears that were threatening to fall. "i'm sorry.," was all he could muster up before he finally walked out of the kitchen, then out to the living room and front door and ultimately out of your life. as if your heart couldn't break anymore, you felt the pieces break into shreds while you walked into your room.
by now you had no tears left to cry, so all you could do is stare at the ceiling, deep in thought while you hopedㅡ prayed for your roommate sunghoon to come in and comfort you. as bad as today was, at least life had the decency to call him into your room to let you cry onto his chest until you were ready to open up about the heartbreak.
[♪masterlist | next →]
617 notes · View notes
ptergwen · 3 years
Note
Hey! I was wondering if you could do a fluffy type thing based on the gif of ur navigation page. Ya know the scene in the movie where he can see whos doing what on their phones? and maybe the reader is like talking about their crush on him? i think tht woukd be a rly cool concept. but you dont have to do it if you dont want to :)
this is really cute omg i never would’ve thought of it either :,)
Tumblr media
i couldn’t find the gif in question but close enough
“i have access to the entire stark global security network, including multiple defense satellites,” edith tells peter as he looks around the bus through his glasses. “as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks,” she adds on. peter’s eyes go wider, images of his classmates’ and teachers’ phones popping up.
“woah,” he mumbles to himself. he can see people’s texts, google searches, everything. peter can’t help but be curious about what you’re up to. you’re sitting alone and kind of hunched over in your seat, so he assumes your phone is out. that gives him an idea.
“um, edith?” peter asks for his new... friend. she responds almost immediately. “yes, peter?” “what’s y/n doing?” your picture, name, and a view of your screen show up in his glasses. “i can’t believe that worked” he mutters and glances over at you again in person. you sit a few rows ahead of him.
he’d wanted to sit with you for the ride, but dimitri wouldn’t let him. something about blowing his cover.
peter focuses in on your screen again. you’re texting mj, in long paragraphs, and her messages back are just as lengthy. it seems like it’s a pretty personal conversation. maybe he shouldn’t be snooping on you. “edith, could you-“ his heart beats a little faster when he sees his name come up. he’s technically not snooping if it’s about him.
“yes, peter?” edith prompts him. “never mind,” he dismisses her, wanting to find out why he was mentioned. he sneaks a quick peek at mj to make sure she hasn’t caught on. she has a habit of always being in his business. she’s across the bus with brad next to her, so she hasn’t picked up on the fact that peter is watching you two.
chewing on your bottom lip, you type out your next message. peter jumps in his seat as it flashes across the screen.
you
i really like him and i thought he liked me too but he’s been kind of like... idk avoiding me the whole trip?
“i’m not avoiding her!” peter whisper yells, biting the inside of his cheek while he waits for mj to reply. it then hits him what you said in the first part. you like him. not just like him, really like him. he could pass out right now and call this a dream. he’s been crushing on you for a while, but he was too scared to say something. this is definitely a confidence booster.
mj
wdym avoiding you? he’s been ditching the whole class y/n/n. kinda sus if u ask me
you
stopppp 😭 maybe he has something going on bc he’s been weird since before we left
mj
uh he’s been weird his whole life
peter purses his lips at that, eyebrows furrowed in offense. he can’t believe nick fury is ruining his love life. or, the potential of him having a love life. you could’ve been cuddled up next to him and listening to music together right now. he’d made a playlist for the trip of both your favorite songs, that specific reason being why.
but, no. nothing that isn’t superhero related can ever go peter’s way. he’s had enough of fury and his team controlling him.
you
i don’t wanna get dramatic or whatever but should i just give up? if peter is busy i don’t wanna overwhelm him
“thanks, edith. you can stop showing me now,” peter decides, getting up from his seat before he loses his nerve to. he makes his way through the aisle and over to you. “i said all kids stay seated!” dimitri scolds him with a stern look through the front mirror. he doesn’t actually care if people get up, he just wants to keep peter away from everyone else. good thing he’s the one driving so he can’t do anything about it.
“sorry!” peter calls back, making you look up from your phone. giving him a lopsided smile, you quickly shut it off. you didn’t expect him to be the rule breaker getting yelled at. “hey,” you greet him. “hey. can i sit with you?” peter smiles back, without the nervousness. he already knows your feelings are mutual.
you scoot closer to the window so there’s more room. “yeah, always.” “thanks,” he breathes out a laugh and takes his seat. “i like your glasses. when did you get those?” you compliment, loving the way the blue frames sit on his face. peter squints at you. “glasses? what glasses- oh.” he’d forgotten to take them off before coming over. great, now he needs an excuse.
“they... they, um, at this store in venice...” that’s all he can come up with. you’re guessing the glasses have something to do with his stress lately, and you’re not far off. you let him leave it at that. “well, they look really good on you. really really good,” you laugh and get a laugh of relief out of peter as well. “thank you, y/n/n.” “you’re welcome.” you’re grinning for real now, and being the cause of it makes peter so happy.
he’s ready to shoot his shot.
“do you wanna, um, listen to music with me?” peter asks softly over the loud rumbling of the bus. “i made a playlist... for us.” for us. him coming over here, thinking of you like that, the doubts you were having earlier are starting to fade away. you nod, a giggle slipping out of you. “yeah, we can share my earbuds. thanks, peter.”
you unzip your backpack and grab them, peter biting back another grin. this is working out exactly how he wanted it to. you hold out an earbud to him and put yours in. peter does the same, adjusting his while both of you move in so the wire doesn’t stretch. yup, that’s why. definitely not so you two can be closer.
“can i plug these in?” peter asks, taking the connecting end of the wire. “mhm,” you hum and watch him put it into his phone. he opens up spotify and goes to his playlist, titled with a smiley face and every pink heart emoji. that brings yet another smile to your face. “aw, that’s cute,” you comment, taking a leap of faith and resting your head on peter’s shoulder.
peter hits shuffle and makes a move of his own by resting his head on yours. he lowers the music a bit so he can say something to you, confess to you what he finally has the courage to you. “hey, y/n?” he mumbles, waiting for you to look at him. you already were. “i like you.” you settle into peter even more and let out a content sigh. “i like you, too.”
940 notes · View notes
danvers--carol · 3 years
Note
ok ur top faves wangxian fic recs pls
wangxian has a looooot of good fics - here are my bookmarks 😅
im only going to post some of them 
a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k)
canon divergence, wangxian arranged marriage, 1st fic i’ve read after binge-watching cql in less than 5 days
love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k)
lwj enters an arranged marriage with yiling patriarch bc wwx helped get rid of wrh 
Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k)
modern!wwx ends up in cultivation world in gusu and meets lwj 
spider lilies to sunflowers by cicer (E, 33k)
omegaverse mpreg where lwj must give wwx his firstborn for helping with killing wrh 
The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k)
wwx experiments with a uhh fleshlight 
Teach Me The Ways by likeafox (E, 58k)
lwj asks wwx for help with sex stuff etc but wwx is a virgin 
The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k)
modern au, wwx suddenly has baby a-yuan 
every love story is a ghost story by aisthuu (M, 59k)
ghost wwx that haunts lwj’s new guqin from ebay
asymptotic by chinxe (Teen and Up, 26k)
lwj falls in love with ghost wwx
Two Weddings and a Family Reunion by scifigeek14 (Teen and Up, 36k)
wangxian has shotgun wedding so wwx can attend his shijie's wedding
myself through someone else’s eyes (series) by thunderwear (59k)
lan xichen permanently turns himself into a baby post-canon and wangxian rises him
My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (Teen and Up, 26k)
wwx fakes being lwj’s wife to attend shije’s wedding
Wei Wuxian, Who's That? by bumbledees (Teen and Up, 48k)
canon divergence where they make wwx into jiang xiaolian aka lwj’s new wife
Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k)
jc timetravels and fixes everything
Like Rabbits by Setari (Teen and Up, 41k)
mpreg, how many children can wangxian have during canon events
your problem as a mountain. by crowry (E, 30k)
nhs and wwx are writing letters, and nhs “accidently” sends wwx’s letters about lwj to lwj 
Lan Yuan's War by BurningTea (Gen, 159k)
ongoing; lwj timetravels with lan sizhui to the beginning of the sunshot campaign aka kinda 18 y.o. single dad au
The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen by KouriArashi (Teen and Up, 138k)
wwx was adopted by dafan wens instead of jiangs
what builds a home by Stratisphyre (Teen and Up, 45k)
meng yao’s mom adopts little wwx
Brilliance in the Moonlight by rosweldrmr (E, 97k)
soulmates but its connected to golden cores… also lwj/oc in one chapter
I Started From the Bottom/And Now I’m Rich by x_los (E, 57k)
black widow wwx, marries sect leaders and kills them while lwj suffers in the bg
Regrets by antebunny (Gen, 37k)
lwj accidentally kills wwx during nightless city and then time travels
nothing you confess by PorcupineGirl (Teen and Up, 31k)
wangxian are soulmates but dont realise, lan zhan can FEEL wei ying getting his golden core taken out of his body and bc of the golden core hes like ????? when he meets jiang cheng
Pebble in the Deep by catchmeifyoucreon (E, 183k)
mo xuanyu and lwj spend the night together before mx sacrificed himself to bring back wwx, he’s brought back after for ex. yi city arc
picking up the pieces by KouriArashi (M, 111k)
jc dies at Nightless City instead of jiang yanli, she and lwj became friends while waiting for wwx to come back
to swim through the fires by littledust (M, 36k)
lwj is bethroted to jiang yanli
Just as the Snow Melts by draechaeli (Teen and Up, 66k)
one day wwx brings a-yuan to yiling to play by the river and some women ask him to watch over their children, he starts to teach them how to write and opens up a school etc
while covered in mud by merthurlin (Teen and Up, 12k)
nhs joins wens and wwx in burial mounds
box your errors by mellowflicker (Teen and Up, 42k)
dad-ji and little a-yuan vs human disaster wwx
Help, My Dad Is Fucking Someone My Age!! by sweetlolixo (Teen and Up, 3k)
lan sizhui pov about lwj suddenly taking a twink (wwx as mo xuanyu) back to gusu
shout it from the rooftops (tell them all I know) by arypls (Teen and Up, 12k)
lwj is trying to cope with his crush on wwx, he wrote his name in his notes without realizing etc,,,
make this chaos count by devotedbones (E, 15k)
when u (wwx) defend ur bros (lwj) dignity and everyone tells you that you should have fucked him more so he wouldn't be so strict lmao
mianmian the disaster lesbian saves the cultivation world by i_kinda_like_writing (Teen and Up, 27k)
mianmians pov about the wlw mlm solidarity she has with lwj,,, just “give lwj friends” a fic
Lead Me On Through by mrsronweasley (E, 54k)
everyone is in arranged marriages but they dont know the spouse until the wedding day
Lovelocked by Vamillepudding (Gen, 18k)
wangxian meets in paris and clown wwx makes lwj kiss him in front of famous sights for insta pics
不忘 | Don't Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k)
wwx was thrown into burial mounds but he time travelled to modern times
Aftermath by KouriArashi (Teen and Up, 57k)
jiang yanli has had enough and kills jin guangshan 
Keep Holding On by abCEE (M, 38k)
ongoing BUT demonic cultivator jiang yanli 
in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k)
wwx gets possessed by a skin-stealer
Double Dare by malkinmalkout (Teen and Up, 11k)
cloud recesses study era; jc dares nhs to pretend to have a crush on lwj to piss wwx off
it's just (aah) a little crush (crush!) by sweetlolixo (Teen and Up, 9k)
cloud recesses study era; wwx panics and says he has a crush on lwj 
Bet Your Heart by Vamillepudding (Gen, 14k)
cloud recesses study era; wwx gets a bet to kiss lan xichen
Losing My Mind by pupeez4eva (Teen and Up, 6k)
cloud recesses study era; jc hears lwj's horny thoughts bc of a potion he drank
with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k)
canon, wwx has to return to lotus pier for marriage proposals, so he and lwj fake date to avoid that
Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60k)
modern wangxian fake dates
Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (Gen, 21k)
jc and lwj are friends and people (including wwx) think they are dating
Blossom by triedunture (E, 26k)
cherry magic au during canon wwx's death 
paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k)
dadji and a-yuan’s art teacher wwx
in a river you wade by bleuett (M, 20k)
Mpreg where WWX died, leaving pregnant LWJ and A-Yuan; deals with postpartum depression, being a single father spoilers but my fav quotes 🥺
298 notes · View notes
lesbobiwan · 3 years
Text
bounty (boba fett x reader)
rating: explicit
pairing: boba fett x female reader
summary: you come to boba to make one of your fantasies a reality. he has a few conditions first.
warnings: predator/prey kink, pretending to be a bounty, probably unsafe sex bc yall fuck in a forest but we dont need to talk about it, light choking, name calling, everything is safe sane and consensual, breeding kink
You’re breathing too loud in the quiet of the forest. You know that your pants echo through the woods and that you’re being too careless as you run, but you couldn’t care less. 
The only thought going through your mind is to run. You know there’s a small village up ahead. If you can just break through the edge of the forest, you can find somewhere to lay low. Maybe a shopping center? 
A twig snaps behind you.
You curse, still too loud for the peace and quiet of the forest. He’s toying with you now.
The great Boba Fett would never be stupid as to step on a twig. He’s close, and he wants you to know it. Was he ever far, or was he just letting you tire yourself out in a futile attempt to get away from him?
And tire yourself out you have. Your thighs ache and your lungs burn. You’ve never ran this much before in your life. Adrenaline pumps through your body, but you’ve always been a realist at heart. 
You can’t last much longer.
Another snapping of foliage. 
You can hear his footsteps now. Fear, despite your best efforts, shoots down your spine. 
Stars, why are you doing this? All you wanted was to get fucked, maybe put into binders and act like he had a puck on you.
Oh, right.
“If you want to get fucked like a bounty,” Boba had told you just before he sent you running, “You’re going to run like a bounty. Now go.”
“You done running, girl?” His voice booms through the trees, sounding entirely unaffected as though he wasn’t running through the forest after you. “Or am I going to have to mess up your pretty face to bring you in?”
Arousal simmers low in your gut. Stars, he’s really getting into this thing, isn’t he?
“Fuck you!” You spit over your shoulder, picking up the pace in hopes to drag out the chase a little longer.
You’re not ashamed to admit that the idea of being hunted has you soaking through your panties.
Boba chuckles, sounding much too close for comfort, “Don’t give me any ideas.”
Shit. 
A gloved hand closes around your bicep and jerks your body to a stop.
A yelp escapes you before you can stop it. 
A second hand clasps over your mouth.
“Don’t scream,” he whispers in your ear, voice distorted through the helmet, “If I let you go, will you cooperate?”
“Fuck you!” Your voice is muffled from the meat of his palm. “Let me go!”
His amused demeanor vanishes. Boba wedges foot behind the backs of your knees and sends you sprawling to the ground with a shove.
It’s not rough, but it’s definitely enough to have you dazed. You barely have time to blink before he’s on you again. 
He flips you onto your stomach with a show of strength that has you fighting back a moan and straddles the backs of your thighs to keep you in place.
“What the fuck are you —”
“Quiet,” Boba hisses, strong hands grabbing you by the wrists to pull them together at the small of your back. The binders that snap around your wrists are cold, but not the reason for the goosebumps that spread across your skin.
You hope he doesn’t realize the way you rub your thighs together.
“You’ve got a smart mouth,” Boba pants into your ear. His cock is hard against your ass. “’S that what got you in this situation, huh?” 
You almost scoff. He knows that its your mouth that got you in this situation.
“You mouth off to the wrong person and get a bounty put on you?” He continues, subtly grinding his erection into your ass. 
You can’t help it. A moan escapes you and you push back against him.
“Oh,” Boba sounds amused, damn him, “Is that what you do? Fuck the sorry son of a bitch that tries to take you in?” He presses his hips harder against you.
“Please!” You gasp, trying to cant your hips back to feel more of him, “I’ll do anything!”
He laughs cruelly and pulls you to your feet quick enough to have your vision swimming. “Anything?” He mocks, pulling your back tight against his chest as his free hand creeps up to wrap around your neck.
Another moan rips from your throat. “Yes! Anything!” You roll your hips back against the cock pressing into the small of your back, “Anything! Please, just let me go,”
Boba hums. His thumb strokes across your carotid artery as he contemplates your offer.
It’s quiet in the forest besides your ragged breathing. You’d almost think he’s forgotten about you if it wasn’t for the subtle grind of his hips against you.
It’s stifling. It’s degrading and objectifying but so fucking hot.
“Boba,” You try again, but he cuts you off with a quick jerk of your body.
He hauls you over a fallen tree like you way nothing. You’re completely folded over the tree, your ass being propped up in the air while your chest and shoulders dangle.
Your moan is so loud that the nearest birds fly away.
A heavy hand smacks against your right asscheek. 
“Fuck!” You gasp, your hips jerking — whether to escape the spank or to search for a new one, you don’t know.
“Is that how you’ve lasted this long?” He demands, landing another spank on your left cheek. “You promise to fuck whoever it is that catches you in exchange for your freedom?”
He presses his weight against you and all hopes of escaping, if you even wanted to anymore, vanish without a trace.
“You gonna take my cock, girl?” His hands drift to the waistband of your pants before he yanks them and your panties down hard enough to pop some of the seams. “You gonna be my good little whore?”
“Yes!” You sob, writhing against the tree that props your hips up. Your feet can’t find purchase against the soil, slipping and sliding no matter how you try to shift your position. “I will!”
“You will what?” Boba presses, tracing his leather covered fingers over your cunt. “Stars, you’re soaking, girl,” he murmurs, spreading your juices across his fingertips. 
“I’ll be your good whore,” You repeat, cheeks flushing a red to match the accents on his armor. 
His pleased hum sends another flood of wetness to your core. One of his hands reach around to pinch your clit between two finger while the other goes to unbuckle his pants. 
You gasp and jerk against his fingers. “Please!” You gasp, trying your best to push into his hand. 
The bark of the tree rubs uncomfortable against the exposed skin of your hips, but the pain fizzles into pleasure with each passing second. Your head begins to pound with the blood that rushes to it. The rough texture is a grounding presence that fights against the way Boba’s very existence threatens to send you flying high into atmosphere. 
“Please, what?” Boba asks, smacking his freed cock against your cunt with a wet pop, “Please fuck you so you can go free? So you can vanish and I lose out on a paycheck?”
Stars, you think you might combust. Every fiber of your being is alight. If he doesn’t fuck you, you think you’re gonna wither up and die.
“No! No, I won’t! I’ll stay!” You can’t even register the words leaving your mouth. Nothing matters except getting his cock in you. “I’ll stay. I’ll — I’ll be yours!”
The tip of his cock, thick and heavy, presses against your hole. “You’ll be mine?” He repeats, slowly inching his cock into you.
No matter how many times he presses into you, you’re always worried he won’t fit. He’s just so thick. The stretch is devastating and enough to force a high whine from your lips. 
He forces his cock into your cunt fully with a harsh thrust that forces the breath from your lungs. 
Immediately, he sets a punishing pace, one hand holding the binders that keep your wrists together at the small of your back while the other gathers your hair up to force your head up. 
“You’ll be mine?” Boba repeats, letting go of your binders to land three quick slaps against your ass. “Answer me!”
“Yes!” You cry out, tears gathering in your eyes against the onslaught on your cunt. “Yes, I’ll be yours!” 
His leather gloves rub quick circles around your clit, “Mine? Mine to keep tied up and ready for my cock at all times?” He pounds into you even harder than before, if that’s even possible. “Mine to fuck and fill full of my cum?”
Oh fuck.
You clench around him at his words.
His modulated groan echoes through the forest. “You like that, girl? You like the idea of me keeping you filled the brim with my cum, huh? You want to be fucked and bred?” He punctuates his words with hard and shattering thrusts.
You can’t bring yourself to answer, too caught up in the way that he stretches you to say anything. Fuck, you’re so close. 
“Are you gonna cum?” He whispers, bending to press his chest into your back. 
The angle forces your upper body down even more, and all you can do it take it.
“Yes! Yes! Please let me come,” The tears are falling down your face in earnest now. 
Boba’s hand, the one not rubbing devastating circles on your clit, wraps around your throat and squeezes just enough to make you see stars, “Cum.”
Your orgasm wracks your body like a bomb. Your thighs tremble with the force of how hard you cum, and every one of his thrusts is accompanied but a wet sound that would embarrass you if you were able to think in that moment.
Boba groans as you tighten around him. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” He slows the pace of his thrusts down, now grinding into your cunt and pressing his cock into that spot that makes you a drooling mess. “You want my cum? You want me to fill you up?” 
His gravelly voice, still modulated by the helmet — and, fuck, it should not turn you on as much as it does to know that he kept on that helmet to fuck you —, sends more shivers down your spine. 
“Yes! Please, fill me up! Fill me up, keep me, I’myoursI’myours,” You’re babbling now. The words spill from your lips like the slick that spills down your thighs.
“Fuck,” Boba hisses, grinding his hips once, twice, three more times before he stills and his cum floods your cunt.
You gasp and moan as your walls flutter around him, milking his cock for all it’s worth. 
Your world is reduced down to feeling of Boba’s weight, a grounding presence against the aftershocks of pleasure that threaten to overwhelm you, and his hands that stroke down your back.
“Good girl,” He whispers, voice no longer filtered by the helmet. When did he take that off? “You did so good, little one,” 
The binders fall off your wrists with a soft click. 
Boba eases your bottoms back up around your hips and pulls your body off the tree. 
“C’mon, lets get back to the ship so we can clean you up,” He presses a soft kiss, a drastic juxtaposition from the harsh way he treated you just minutes before, to your temple and resigns himself to supporting half of your weight when it’s evident that your legs are too weak to walk.
You press your body closer to him, relishing in the slight ache that comes from between your legs. “Y’know, you could always try acting if being a crime lord on Tatooine doesn’t work out,” You murmur against his shoulder.
Boba huffs. “You’re not funny.”
“Yes, I am,” You deny, hiding your smile in his pauldron.
You walk in silence, save for the way he’ll occasionally whisper a soft praise in your ear, until you finally remember something.
“Hey,” You slap a hand against his chest plate, “I know this was my idea, but I didn’t expect you to make me run.”
Boba’s laugh echoes through the forest and makes your body shake. “Exercise never hurt anyone, mesh’la,”
You scoff. “Yeah, sure. You look at the bruises on my hips in the morning and tell me that exercise doesn’t hurt.” You’re just complaining now, just finding ways to poke fun at him now that you’ve begun to climb down from the high peak of pleasure.
Boba’s hand around your waist drifts to dig into the raw skin on your hipbone, “I didn’t hear you complaining any,” He whispers into your ear, voice low and daring. 
Goosebumps break out across your body.
Maybe your body will be ready for round two when you get back to the ship.
349 notes · View notes
tezzbot · 3 years
Text
applejack headcanons in a sort of timeline i have in my head based on the flashbacks/statements in the show lol this is gonna get long i apologise
aj is born in the sweet apple acres barn to bright mac and pear butter :D
we get the apple family reunion episode flashback where she is lichrally baby asking for apple fritters 🥺
she grows up a bit, just by family gene pool luck shes a strong little fucker and as she grows her family realises she's not just physically strong but strong willed too, it becomes a running joke that shes secretly part mule with how stubborn she can be :P
bright mac had a dog from when he was younger that he loved with all his heart, big mac loved him too but applejack thought was a grumpy old lump of a beast she just Did Not Like This Animal you know how kids can be lmaooo
applejack and big mac dont really leave the farm all that much, theyre homeschooled by their parents and granny smith so, generally they dont have that many friends their age in their childhood, they say hi and play a bit with fillies and colts they pass while helping out with deliveries, aj and rarity possibly have a few interactions through this but nothing really sticks at this point, they know each others names and thats probably it, the apple siblings are a big hit with usual customer and ponies who sell them things in the market
pear butter teaches aj how to play the guitar and she practices until her hooves hurt, her ma is very proud of her, they like to play duets when they have some alone time :] then, deciding to branch out from that applejack also picks up other instruments like the banjo and the fiddle, they find out she has quite a knack for music! (applejack is only slightly disappointed she doesnt get her cutie mark from it, but unlike applebloom would be in the future, she doesnt mind all that much, after all granny smith always said it'd come with time 😌)
not long after little applebloom is born we get the great seedling episode flashback which is a turning point in applejack, a moment like finding out santa or the tooth fairy isnt real, she matures a little bit that day, gains more of the work ethic we see in her as an adult
around this time is when bright mac and pear butter die :( i dont have a concrete headcanon on How they die but the dangerous trade routes the apples have to take to make deliveries may have had something to do with it, or maybe they were trying to protect the farm from something coming from the everfree forest, im not sure
the rest of the apple family make their way to sweet apple acres to give their condolences and help out in any way they can around the farm while our apples grieve :( its sad but it brings aj and big mac closer than they'd ever been
after shes recovered a little from that, i think aj kind of loses herself, i mean how can you not after losing both parents :(( so she decides to leave the farm in the hopes she'll be able to find herself again in manehattan, this is the cutie mark chronicles flashback and where she realises she belongs in ponyville, Runs home and gets her cutiemark
after a little bit, to help her become a little bit more social with foals her age, applejack goes to camp friendship where she meets little coloratura and the two Immediately click, aj gives her new best friend the nickname rara and they're practically inseparable the whole summer, their friendship starts to grow into something more but rara is heading back to manehatten after camp and applejack belongs back in ponyville, so they decide to give a lonb distance relationship a try, they manage to exchange letters back and forth for a long time, ultimately deciding a long distance relationship wasnt gonna work so they mutually decide to break up but still stay pen pals! after a while, the letters stop and they become just a memory in one anothers minds
sweet apple acres eventually returns to a business as usual state, with groups of relatives stopping by the farm now and again to give a helping hoof considering its now run by a late-middle aged lady, two children and a baby lol, applejack, while still doing a lot of tree bucking, is starting to take on a more maternal figure role in applebloom's life as well as being her sister, her and big mac feels more responsible and protective of the foal since she would be growing up with no ma and pa, they sort of took on those roles, applejack more intensely i guess i just see her as having strong maternal instincts embedded in her or something lol, but she for sure isnt "single mom"ing it, with granny smith and other relatives ready to take the little bugger when aj needs to get stuff done :P it takes a village and all that lmao
since at this time aj and big mac are starting to go into town more often and are free to do as they please as long as their chores get done, they start actually interacting more with teens their age in ponyville! applejack starts hanging out with fillies like rarity who she had known in passing but now could finally get to know and the cake's new apprentice and ponyvilles youngest party planner, pinkie pie
after starting to hit some awkward growth spurts as she reaches her teens lol, she starts taking an interest in the business side of the farmwork too, dealings with customers, looking into trade routes stuff like that, this is when the where the apple lies flashback takes place i fuckin love that episode please watch it, and this starts applejack's lifelong promise to never lie ever again which she keeps bc shes a legend as fuck <3
one day aj notices cloudsdale passing through probably to start preparing ponyville for the next season, and she hears a Thud coming from a row or two over from where she's working, she goes over to investigate to find a pegasus filly shaking off what aj can only assume was a crash, she asks if shes alright, n the filly is like of course i am im so tough toughest around actually thanks<3 and aj is internally like hm. this kids kinda annoying. they introduce themselves and applejack finds out rainbow dash is looking for her friend fluttershy, she likes to come down from cloudsdale to play with animals or something, but applejack hasnt seen any yellow pegasi fillies around so the little blue filly says thanks anyway and zips off at what aj can only describe as probably the speed of light, she somehow has a strange feeling this isnt gonna be the last she sees of this kid
she turns out to be right when shes invited to a happy visit to ponyville from cloudsdale party thrown for rainbow and fluttershy, apparently rainbow had bumped into pinkie while asking around ponyville for any idea where fluttershy and of course pinkie Had to make an event out of it once she had helped rainbow find her friend, the party was of course a lot of fun rainbow and aj somehow managed to turn every party game into a competition and despite their first impressions of one another they actually got along really well and gained a good amount of respect for each other, aj eventually found fluttershy sort of hiding away from most of the party and fluttershy actually opened up a little after talking with aj bc of how calming her presence was for her
over the next few years the five got to know each other quite well, anytime cloudsdale passed by rainbow and fluttershy would drop into ponyville to hang out or just say hi, and once they were old enough they moved into their ponyville houses and the five of them became just a regular friend group youd see hanging out on the streets of ponyville, fluttershy helps aj pick out a border collie puppy for help with wrangling critters on the farm (applebloom was getting too old to be sent off to mindlessly run after little animals all the time and she had started going to school so she wasnt around as much lmaoo) and just as a companion for applejack, she names her Winona :]
and then after those few years Twilight shows up! you know the rest from there :P
if i missed anything uhhh whoops<3 lol
117 notes · View notes
hwangsies · 4 years
Text
LIMERENCE
Tumblr media
(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person
Tumblr media
pairing: hyunjin x female reader
summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?
warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)
8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,
and enjoy!<3
---
"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.
You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.
"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.
"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.
She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.
"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.
"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"
"oh god" you snicker.
"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.
"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"
You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.
"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"
"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.
"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.
"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.
"he's in his grade, hyunjin"
Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”
"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"
"unfortunately" you huff.
"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.
"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"
"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"
"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.
"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.
Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.
"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"
"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.
"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"
"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"
"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.
"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"
"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.
"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...
-
unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am
You huff looking at the message on your phone.
After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.
But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.
you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am
You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.
Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.
unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am
You have two choices at this point.
1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.
Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.
So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.
you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am
Damn you and your common human decency.
he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am
he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am
You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.
you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am
Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.
he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am
You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?
Was he that drunk?
Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.
So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.
-
Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.
Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?
However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.
That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.
He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.
“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.
“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.
His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.
You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.
He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.
He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.
The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.
The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.
When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.
You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.
“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?
“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.
You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”
“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.
“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”
“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“
“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 
Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”
You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”
“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.
Glancing over at him, you nod.
“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”
You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.
“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.
“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”
“ew” you chime in.
“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”
“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.
“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.
“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.
You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.
“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.
“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.
-
Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.
“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.
“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.
“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.
“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.
“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”
“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”
“yea?”
“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.
“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.
“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.
You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.
“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.
“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.
His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?
“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.
You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”
“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.
“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.
“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.
The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.
When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.
-(flashback)
“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.
A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.
You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.
“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..
“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.
“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.
About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.
You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.
You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.
10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
“HAPPY NEW YEAR”
Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.
“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.
“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.
“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.
A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.
“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.
“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.
“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.
“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face
“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.
His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.
“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.
“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.
“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.
“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.
It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him
“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.
“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.
“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.
“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”
He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.
“wanna dance?”
That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.
Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.
His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.
You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.
He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.
His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.
“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.
“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.
He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.
“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.
“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.
“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”
“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.
Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.
You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.
“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.
“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.
“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.
You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.
“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”
He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.
“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.
“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”
His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.
His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.
But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.
A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.
He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.
You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.
All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.
“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.
He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.
Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.
Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.
“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.
He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.
After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.
It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.
“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.
Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”
“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.
“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.
You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.
“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.
“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.
He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.
Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.
“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.
“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.
“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.
“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.
“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.
“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.
“that was fast” you chuckled.
“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”
“okay” you said unsurely.
“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.
You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.
“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.
“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.
A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.
“can I kiss you?”
You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”
“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.
“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”
And with a smile, he does.
You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.
He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.
“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.
His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.
Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.
The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.
The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.
“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.
A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.
“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.
Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.
“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.
“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“
“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”
Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!
“its okay if you just want, you know-“
“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.
His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”
You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.
“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.
-(flashback end)
“y/n”
“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.
“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.
“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.
“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.
“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”
“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.
You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.
“fuck” you swear to yourself.
“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.
“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.
You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.
“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.
“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.
“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.
“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.
“is that okay?” you ask him.
“yea- sure” he nods.
“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.
“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.
“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.
He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”
“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.
“yup-oh” he exclaims.
“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .
The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.
“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.
“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.
He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.
“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.
“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.
“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.
When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.
“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.
“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.
“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.
His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”
You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”
-
“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.
“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.
“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.
“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”
Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”
“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.
“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.
You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.
“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.
“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.
“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”
“I’m glad” he smiles.
After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.
He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.
“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.
Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.
“you did?” he asks confusedly.
“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.
“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.
“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.
“I’m serious!” he laughs.
“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”
“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.
“nope” you shake your head.
“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.
“maybe” you say.
“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.
“yea, one”
“well how did you meet him?”
“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.
“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.
“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.
“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.
“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.
“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”
You nod.
“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.
He snickers “only one in seoul”
“why didn’t you last?”
“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.
“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”
Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”
“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”
“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.
“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.
“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.
“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.
He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”
You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.
Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.
His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.
Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.
They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.
A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.
He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.
Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.
The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.
“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.
“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.
“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.
His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.
If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.
Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.
His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.
“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.
“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.
He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”
“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”
“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.
You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.
“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.
“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.
“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”
“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.
Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”
“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.
“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.
“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.
“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.
“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.
You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.
“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.
He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.
“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.
You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.
Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.
“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.
A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.
“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.
You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.
Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.
“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.
You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.
The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.
His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.
“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.
He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.
“yea” you sigh.
Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.
“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.
Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.
“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.
A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.
“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.
He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.
“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.
While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.
“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.
“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.
With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.
You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.
“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.
“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.
You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.
“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.
“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.
Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.
Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.
All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.
“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.
Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.
This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.
“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.
“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.
Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.
“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.
“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.
Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.
“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”
You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.
“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.
“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.
His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”
Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.
“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.
His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.
“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.
“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.
You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.
“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.
“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.
Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.
Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”
You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.
A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.
“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.
Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.
His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.
“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.
Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.
You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.
i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.
He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.
“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.
“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.
“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.
“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.
“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.
“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.
“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.
And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.
It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.
-
a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))
allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!
(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 
anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love
-aj
(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)
734 notes · View notes
shotorozu · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
“you didn’t think getting a classmate thrown at you would cause you to choke in silence— and by some miracle, todoroki is the first one to catch on.”
legend : [Y/N = your name] f!reader with they/them pronouns, all might’s daughter reader, reader has a telekinesis quirk
warnings : swearing because of bakugou, choking, if you ever hit your windpipe and you start choking, get help right away!
notes : i’m trying a new format for fics! (and drabbles) idk why i’m going on a todoroki dump lately, it’s his birthday after all. ALSO I WAS ALMOST DONE BUT GRRR TUMBLR RELOADED. i was so mad lol. so i don’t really like this but DONT WORRY!! i’m making another fic.
»»————- ♡ ————-«
It’s been almost 4 months since your first year at UA had started, and you’d think by now— you would’ve gotten used to all the hectic things that had to come.
Nope, not in the slightest bit.
Though you do love the class, and you enjoy being around them since they all seem like nice people, (minus one person) the class itself goes haywire with their frenzied energies.
Sometimes you wonder if you’re able to keep up with them, since they all have such excentric and unique personalities. They somehow manage to keep the room’s atmosphere lifted up with their voices, that are accompanied by lighthearted jokes.
But today, it seemed to be out of your favor.
You’re in your seat, recalling what your father— All Might, had said about your progression, and how he planned on helping you work with your quirk more.
Needless to say, you’re quite delighted to hear that your father wants to pay more attention to you, since he was mostly just focusing on Midoriya.
But your train of thought is cut short when you see Mineta fly towards your way, practically knocking into your entire front, and jamming into your windpipe— as it bounces from you and towards the wall.
“Damn grape fruit, learn some fucking decency for once,” You can hear Bakugou call out to him, and you can assume it was him that decided to throw your classmate at you
“Sorry, Y/N!” Kirishima calls out to you, noticing how his hot headed friend chucked the short, and purple haired classmate towards your direction.
You try to play it off cool, since you can’t even be mad. Even though Bakugou’s quite a spiteful person, he probably didn’t mean to throw Mineta at you.
Your seatmate, Todoroki looks at you as if like he was analysizing you. His mismatched gaze locked onto you with concern, I mean.. how could he not? Mineta has been thrown on you.
The air escapes you for a moment, and you try to breathe in to counter it. But it doesn’t work, as it became futile.
You blink, and you try again— trying your best to just breathe damnit, you’re questioning what’s all of this for? And it feels like you’re suffocating.
It’s all very sudden too, and without any warning. You can practically the way your heart hammers against your chest violently, and you try your best to not make too many movements. Okay, just breathe Y/N, am I having an attack right now? It really can’t be, can it?
You grasp your chair as you need something to grip on— facing yourself away to prevent any attention to be drawn towards you, since that’s the last thing you want. Every second that passes, it gets even more difficult to take in the air, and it feels like your life actually slipping away from your grasps.
Was it even possible to choke from getting your windpipe hit by Mineta? You never thought it would happen to you, since your quirk allows you to protect yourself— curses. What would your dad think of this? It’s not like you expected this to happen in a classroom.
A calm voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and suddenly you feel a cool hand press against your nape— “Did you hurt your windpipe, L/N?”
Todoroki’s eyes scan over your facial features calmly, noting about every single red flag that’s shown on your face, that’s practically screaming for something
You feel shame course out your entire body due to the situation, but you nod— still unable to accumulate proper words due to the current situation
The dual quirk user says nothing. However, his actions are quick, moving infront of you to shield you from any attention. His other hand resting against your back— proping you up right, so your position on the chair isn’t hunched uncomfortably.
His hand caresses your back up and down, giving out instructions for your labored breathing— “Breathe in,” he commands calmly, activating his quirk in hopes of aiding you “Breathe out,”
You finally manage to get in some air, inhaling through your mouth, and sharply exhaling the air back out. It feels so good to be able to breathe again, and you’re confident that after this— you won’t take it for granted again.
Unfortunately, the situation hadn’t been discreet enough— as it managed to grasp the attention of Midoriya and Yaoyorozu, they crowd at your desk. Asking Todoroki if there’s an issue, concern lacing their tones.
But you’re overwhelmed, eyes threatening to close. Your body slumping against your desk, and you fall unconscious.
It was interesting describing the situation to Recovery Girl, and also to your father.
All Might being concerned was an understatement. He was concerned about how it happened, and how he could’ve prevented the situation if he was there. (But he’s not to blame, at all.)
Briefly after you fell unconscious, attention was gravitated towards you— as everyone was clearly concerned. Then, you were dragged to Recovery Girl by two of your classmates; Kirishima and Midoriya, since Midoriya couldn’t stop rambling about his concern towards you.
“Your windpipe got hit, and the impact blocked it.” Recovery Girl explains, briefly after using her quirk on you “And it appeared to be that you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you. Good grief, who throws people in classrooms? I could give them a scolding right now.” Recovery Girl rants.
You wince at the problem, “Ah.. there’s no need for that. I’d suppose it’s partially my fault for having my guard down.” You grin, but she doesn’t look amused.
Recovery Girl can only sigh, placing a hand on your shoulder. It’s her way of comfort, you’d guess. “Either way, it was still careless of them. I’d go on and on, but for now, you just need to rest right here— you were overwhelmed back there so it’s important to get some rest.”
Recovery Girl’s partially right. So after resting for a little bit longer, you finally leave the infirmary. But you flinch in surprise; a little startled when you meet Todoroki— who’s leaning right behind the door.
“Ah, Todoroki,” You wave at him, and.. you honestly don’t know where to start. Especially after the classroom situation. “I want to apologize about what happened back there. You didn’t need to do that.”
He shakes his head, “It’s alright, L/N. It’s.. what I had to do anyway.” His brows furrow, remembering what happened back in the classroom.
“Besides that.. are you okay? You didn’t damage your throat, did you?”
You laugh, and it may or may not have been in attempt to make the situation light hearted. “My windpipe got blocked, and apparently, I got the wind knocked right out of me! I didn’t know there was an actual name for that! I should really be cautious next time.”
His lips turn up, and he releases a short chuckle— “I suppose it’s a learning lesson for both parties.”
The walk back is.. rather shameful. How were you supposed to go back there, almost as if you didn’t nearly die? choked? The lack of conversation is painful on your ears, and partially on your ego since the silence is almost awkward.
You don’t know what he’s thinking.
“So!” You decide to break the silence, heterochromatic eyes laid on you as he awaited your response. “What do you mean by.. both parties?”
“Well.. you did say you wanted to be cautious more. Which I get, even though you shouldn’t be that cautious in the first place— since it’s not your fault,” Todoroki stares at his feet momentarily, finding his words.
“And both parties because.. I should’ve asked you if you were okay when I saw Mineta get thrown at you,” His expression crumples up, grimacing when he suddenly remembers that exact moment, he should’ve helped them. “I noticed you were choking a little too late.” He mutters.
Like.. how can he stare at you all the time, and just suddenly not notice you choke?
Your feet stop in it’s place, and you shake your head— “You’re so hard on yourself,” you comment, looking up at the ceilings. “Again, it’s not your fault. I was trying to be discrete— y’know!”
“I don’t want you to feel like you should hide anything from me.” He tilts his head to the side, eyes boring into your own.
Blinking, you think over his words— “I’ll keep that in mind.” You’re taken a back by the bluntness in his tone,
“Anyways, thank you, Todoroki. I.. wish I could pay you back somehow.” You pat him on the back, his heart hammering against his chest when you lean in to do so. It’s doing that again.
You turn your back against him, as you start walking even closer to the classroom— and before you can have your hand on the door, he calls out.
“Shouto.”
“..What?” You ask, unsure if you heard him correctly.
“You can start by calling me that,” He offers you one of his one of a kind smiles, something that feels so genuine— full of authentic gratification.
An uncontrollable smile breaks through your face, and you immediately turn away to hide away the flustered expression that is your current state “If you say so.”
Choking in class because someone was thrown at you is definitely not your proudest moment as Y/N Yagi, but.. you’ve definitely gotten something out of it.
Shouto speaks once again. “Oh and.. why wouldn’t I help you? That’s just watching someone die.”
You wince, realizing that Shouto’s correct. Why wouldn’t he help you?
bonus : mineta got flamed by everyone afterwards— including a serious talk from recovery girl, and all might. even though it wasn’t inheritantly his fault that you almost died in class lol
»»————- ♡ ————-«
tldr : Y/N gets folded by mineta bc bakugou threw him at you by accident,
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing.
do not plagiarize my work :))
320 notes · View notes
sharknadoslutt · 3 years
Note
Not that I ever wanted to watch it because of the era it plays in, but what was so awful about Star Wars resistance?
Oh Okay this ask got me GOING so Welcome to my Tedtalk on my feelings on Star Wars Resistance; a story of Disappointment.
So Mr. Dave Filoni, the story telling Prince, left the show like halfway through production of the first season for other projects (For TCW season 7 and The Mandalorian). This left what was a promising show with characters Dave himself had created, in the hands of very inexperienced story board artist and writers. Personally, I think they panicked and half assed it so that Disney could make money on toys. Because.. idk. It just doesn't even come close to the emotional story arcs that TCW and Rebels gave us. and that's what Star Wars is supposed to be about. Changing for the better. Hope or some shit, am I right?
What was most disappointing in my opinion.. is that the protagonist, Kazudo Xiono, is UNBEARABLE. He is the EMBODIEMENT of privilege. This punk has had everything handed down to him from the moment he was born. He was born like 14 years after the Empire has been brought down and the New Republic reigns, so he has never known war. AND HIS DADDY IS THE SENATOR OF HOSNIAN PRIME FOR FUCKS SAKE! THE CAPITOL????? WHERE THE SENATE IS???? YOU KNOW HOW RICH THAT MUST MAKE HIs FaMiLY??? His dad literally gives him an allowance even though he is a grown ass man in the military when the show starts.
To put things into perspective for those not up to date on Sequel Era Lore and I envy you greatly tbh bcs not to be that person i do not like the sequels that's the equivalent of being the Senator of Coruscant in the Prequels!!!!
Not to mention he is a BUMBLING idiot. Like. This man has ADHD on steroids. As a person with ADHD it's.. lord, it's cringe. He is clumsy. He is loud. He says inappropriate things at the wrong time. He doesn't know how to do anything for himself. AND HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPY FOR THE RESISTANCE UNDER COVER AS A MECHANIC???? HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT MECHANICS and really doesn't really learn anything about it by the time the show ends. And don't come at me saying this is a kids show so I cant complain about things being silly bcs I'm not the target audience. I can and I will bcs no one was NEARLY this obnoxious in TCW or Rebels. Kaz is Jarjar Level, but I ACTUALLY LIKE JARJAR!
DUDE IS A DAMN SPY HE DOESNT EVEN LIKE GO BY AN ALLIAS!!! HE DEADASS USES HIS REAL FULL NAME. BCS KAZ IS AN IDIOT.
I'm not saying he isn't a good person. Kaz is very sweet tbh. He's just an unknowing spoiled ass man-child who NEVER REALLY DEVELOPS INTO ANYTHING ELSE?????
Tumblr media
It would be okay if he entered the show like this and exited a more mature, capable man. But he really doesn't. There are never any consequences for his actions. Ever. Other than when he becomes a spy and, again, IS USING HIS REAL LEGAL NAME as a spy for the Resistance... to avoid a scandal and to scold him for LITERALLY DESERTING THE NAVY his daddy cuts him off from his allowance. So instead of half assing his cover job as a mechanic, Kaz has to actually apply himself so he can make money for food. He doesn't improve much. His co-workers (Who are MUCH more interesting than him) constantly complain about him messing things up and making their jobs more difficult.
Man, FUCK KAZ. MY HOMIES HATE KAZ. BEING HOT CAN ONLY GET YOU SO FAR!!!!!
At the Season one finale there is a moment where you think he is finally going to grow as a man! Grow into the protagonist we deserve! Tragedy, for the first time in his life, strikes Kaz! It's during the events of episode 7, when The First Order blows up Hosnian Prime. His home planet. Where his FATHER LIVES. He has a moment of humanity and he is devastated. He almost cries. But he sucks it up to finish the mission and get his friends off base for their safety. He is a man now. and the audience feels a sense of comradery for Kaz. After all, Star Wars is about Fathers. Kaz has lost his father forever. His father was KILLED by the First Order. He now, first hand, has experienced real loss for the first time and this is going to help him grow and toughen up. he has to live on his own now. Our hero has a reason to be doing what he's doing. Fighting against the first order.
BUT NAH. FAM. then the very next fucking EPISODE YOU FIND OUT HIS DAD IS FUCKING ALIVE AND THAT HE DIDNT ACTUALLY EXPEIRENCE THE LOSS THAT HE HAD THOUGHT, AND HE GOES RIGHT BACK TO BEING HIS GOOFY ASS CHILDISH SELF. NO. I HATED THAT. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR GROWTH. MAN FUCK RESISTANCE.
FUCK. IF ANYONE DESERVED THEIR FATHER TO LIVE THROUGH A DAMN PLANETORY DESTRUCTION IT WAS MY GIRL LEIA, NOT FUCKING KAZUDO THE CLOWN XIONO. FUCK. guys I'm sorry I just really hate this god damn character.
Like. Lemme break it down, folks.
TCW started and Ahsoka enters. I HATED Ahsoka for a long time. Bcs she was young, cocky and annoying. But that was on purpose. Narratively, she experiences loss, she experiences pain and GROws as a character while navigating her Jedi life during the war. Our girl grows into the capable protagonist that we EXPECT out of a Star Wars story.
Same for Rebels. We meet Ezra, and he's not quite as annoying as Ahsoka was at first in my opinion (I cannot stress how much I did not care for Ahsoka yall) but he was young. He was childish. But he was more capable at 14 than fucking Kaz was at 20. By the end of Rebels, not only is he more wise and capable, but he is selfless. He has found his own path and it's only because of what he has gone through. His journey has made him stronger. Ezra is my favorite Star Wars journey, if I'm being honest. He is the perfect example of character development.
KAZUDO XIONO ENTERS SEASON ONE AS A 20 YEAR OLD MAN-CHILD USING DADDY'S MONEY WHO IS LOUD AND DOESNT KNOW WHEN THE STFU... AND EXITS THE FINALE... AS A LOUD MAN-CHILD WHO CAN NOW USE TOOLS. He doesn't' experience REAL FAMILIAL loss. He doesn't really experience a lot of character development at all. Things just happen around him, he helps, but he doesn't learn. He doesn't grow. I fucking hate that.
Literally every single character in the show BESIDEs Kaz is more interesting than him. and EXPEIRENCE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!
Jarek Yeager, Kaz's boss in the mechanic shop, was in the Rebellion and LOST HIS FAMILY. He is a sexy ass man too. HE starts the show not wanting to help the Resistance at all bcs he's experienced loss since his days in the Rebellion, and his heart is hard and he's comfortable. By the end of the show he is risking not just his career, but his VERY LIFE to help the Resistance.
Tam Ryvora, Kaz's co-worker. Daughter figure to Yeager and a total bad ass woman of color. She is the one on the show who experiences the most character development and struggles to find her identity while the First Order is taking over the galaxy. I LOVE her.
There are these 2 kids who are force sensitive and orphaned after Kylo Ren comits GENOCIDE on their planet. This arc set up is never fully addressed nor does it have a conclusion, like most story arcs on this show tbh.
There's a literal witch for some reason??
There's this fucking rad ass sexy Mirilian Pirate girl named Synara who FOR SOME REASON is suggested to be Kaz's love interest. Gross. Girl, you gay. Move in.
I could go on and on and on. But I wont. Fuck this show. Fuck Kaz. It literally adds NOTHING to the bigger Star Wars lore. TCW and Rebels do this beautifully and this show is a hot mess of ideas and characters that never come to a satisfying story telling conclusion.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk, dont watch Resistance.
30 notes · View notes
thompsborn · 3 years
Note
do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY
oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.
also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this
ironhusbands:
when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—
he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters
you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.
and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!
when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too
like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.
rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be
and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.
so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.
for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.
rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.
but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.
they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!
so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay
and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too
and thats when tony is like. well.
about that.
he might be calling from a payphone.
on a random street corner.
and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.
rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.
a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™
but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT
and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it
tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now
so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT
rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?
and tonys like wtf are gatherings
and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok
tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough
but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER
so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.
SO MUCH anger
because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and
and he’s gonna fix it
and this is the first step
so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice
tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says
rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off
anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:
rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?
but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—
door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK
of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it
until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time
(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)
sambucky:
firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws
also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected
update from after writing this: i lied
let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve
thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away
children. they are children.
which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway
and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD
and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.
its so funny to me okay its SO funny
its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.
post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess
i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.
okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!
SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.
bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.
also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”
bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop
sam havin a nightmare too
because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.
and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact
but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.
sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck
steve and sam probably got it
the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.
what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.
sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.
therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”
and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.
there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.
its gone, and he gets it.
sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it
it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead
but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”
its the way sam says, “me too.”
and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”
its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but
but its this and its them and that can wait
it can wait
they can take their time if they want to
maybe they’ve earned that much, at least
(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...
when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.
that's what makes it worth the wait.)
40 notes · View notes
Text
i need a plot for this
yall so ive been trying really hard to get back into writing and i went to a writing camp this summer. im going to post a poem that i wrote there later bc im super proud of it but right now i have something else i need help with. SO basically there was a prompt about someone finding a letter or a note. that’s the prompt. so i wrote something, really liked it BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE. my basic ideas involve the two characters meeting each other again to do SOMETHING WHICH I DONT KNOW and slowly arcane (youll see when you read the story below) thaws and falls in love with kalon and kalon has always been in love with her and its like best friends to enemies to friends to lovers ya know? ANYWAY if you dont hate me for being inactive and needy, please read this and help me. 
Dear Arcane,
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 10 years. Wow. I don’t even know if you’ll ever get this, you could’ve moved. You could be dead. Oh god, that’s dark. You’re not dead, someone would’ve told me, I’m sure. So that must mean that there’s a good chance you have this, but I’m not even sure if you’ll read it.
He was right, as he most often was. Arcane had not planned to read the letter from the moment she read her name on the envelope, written in a neat sort of messy handwriting that could only come from one person. The letter had been sitting at her desk for a week before memories began to drown her and she knew she had to open it.
That’s not the point though, I’m sure you’ll read this. You’ve always been a sucker for the intimacy of written letters. Maybe that’s why I wrote to you instead of calling.
Arcane closed her eyes, the pounding of the memories at the door slowly consuming her. She took a deep breath and let them in. The whispers started to fill the room, every word echoing off the walls, like her past had become a living, breathing thing in her room. How could he write her now? After all these years. Anger reared it's small head in the back of her mind. How could he be so casual as if he wasn't the boy who ripped her heart out and tore it to pieces. 
Maybe it’s because I did read all the letters you wrote to me. Even after the voicemails stopped filling my phone and the emails ran dry, your letters kept coming.
She remembers writing those letters, the pen shaking in her hand as it hit the paper. She remembers wondering what you said to someone like him, a friend who left you behind. The squeeze in her chest that tightened each time he didn’t reply. The break in her heart when the last letter she ever wrote was returned to her doorstep.
If you’ve read this far without tearing my letter to pieces, then I would say this is a good start to our reunion. I’ve missed you. Your stubborn ways, always trying to keep me safe. But you always came with me wherever I went anyway. I miss your secret smile, the one you saved just for me. The treehouse we built in your yard. Do you miss that? I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if I can even ask that of you.
She did miss them. But, those things that she missed were long gone. The treehouse was overgrown with vines, Arcane was sure you couldn’t even get into it anymore. She went with him on his stupid adventures because what would she do if he left and met new people? He would leave her and she would be alone. So she desperately followed him blindly, hoping it would keep him close. Arcane missed her secret smile, the genuine one she had always saved for him. He missed it. How could he miss something that he destroyed. With his one and only letter to her, he demolished any leftover love for him that hid in her heart. He couldn’t ask if Arcane wondered about him. That wasn’t fair. That night, ten years ago, was still a raw wound in her soul that she was pretty sure would never heal.
~
The rain was relentless that night, banging against every edge of the house, but a little girl was waiting by the door, not even flinching as the lightning and thunder clapped furiously. Arcane peeked her head above the window frame to find the mailman running through the storm, his frantic steps pounding through the floor of the house. Her eyes lit up with a hope that was slowly fading with each mail drop. She opened the door and hid the small smile that started to spread up her face with a cough.
“Hi, Dan!” Arcane’s voice gave away the excitement that was flooding her system.
“Hey, Arcane.” Dan couldn’t help the pitiful grin that he gave her. She waited by the door for him every day and each day there was no letter for her. It must be soul-crushing, he thought, waiting for a letter that never comes.
“Is there…?” Arcane was practically on her tiptoes at this point. Dan rifled through the letters, dread settling as her name wasn’t there. Again. And then there was a squeal. “Oh, Dan! I found it! I knew- I knew it- I told them!” Her sentences didn’t even come out fully as she beamed, her smile brighter than any ray of the sun.
Arcane had run into the house, a breeze following in her wake. Plopping down into the soft plush couch, she ripped open the envelope, not caring about the paper that flew everywhere in the room. A paper fluttered out, floating toward the ground. Arcane grabbed it, hands shaking, she could practically feel the sweat dripping down her face. Words were the easiest way to break someone. The letter only contained eleven words, yet they would stick with her for the rest of her life.
Stop writing me. None of it was real. You were nothing.
Eleven words. And they shattered her. Crumbling, shattering, a million pieces breaking. Sobs racked through her whole body, her chest shaking and trembling with each broken breath. She caught her face in the mirror hanging off the pale wall and didn’t recognize the girl that stared back. You were nothing. A scream tore through her, the ache of her heart so raw that even the sun seemed to cry, rain dripping onto the panes of the windows. And slowly, so very slowly, Arcane buried the ache and gathered the shattered pieces of her heart and encased them in an impenetrable cage, never to opened again.
~
The ache was still present now, ten years after the letter had arrived. The dullness of her buried hurt made her clench her fists around the letter that sat in her hand now, the same lopsided handwriting adorning it.
But, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this with an actual purpose, if you can imagine that. I didn't just write to rehash our friendship. 
Arcane could feel her eyes narrowing, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the inanimate piece of paper. An actual purpose? To break her heart all over again? This time she did roll her eyes, even though no one was there to see it. But, it wasn’t the fact that he wrote her after all these years or that his tone was friendly throughout that made her body freeze. It was the last line that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.
In all the years that Arcane had known him, he'd never been very dependent. He often just struggled in silence and figured them out on his own. Not once, not ever, had has asked for help. But, there the sentence was inked in his slanted, loopy writing. 
I need your help.
Love,
Kalon
  ~~everything below here is stuff that doesnt have to be a part of the story but i still liked it and where it was going (idk please give me ideas)~~
The quiet, shock of the room seemed to weigh on Arcane. She flopped back onto her bed, the soft pillows cushioning her landing. I need your help. Those few, simple words, tugged at the strings that bound her heart. He needed her. The thought was fleeting as just as quickly as it came, it left. In its spot was anger. Now he needed her? After all those years when she needed him? What did he do then? Nothing. And that’s what she was going to do now. She huffed in satisfaction, tossing the envelope to the side. Her fingers reached into her hair, massaging her head. There were too many things to think about right now. Arcane squeezed her eyes shut as memories stung her eyes in the form of tears. 
~
“Please, don’t leave me.” Arcane had whispered, her small breaths filling the one room of the treehouse. 
“I don’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to go.” Kalon’s voice broke and he looked away so Arcane couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. It was silent. 
“We’ll still be best friends right?” 
“Yeah.” Kalon’s reply didn’t hold much conviction, causing Arcane to look over at him, confused, glossy eyes narrowing. 
“To the moon and back, Kal, remember?” She said, her tone desperate. It was a promise they made one night as they were watching some cheesy movie on the old television set. The boy had told the girl that he loved her too ‘the moon and back’. Kalon had then explained that the two characters said that so that they would never be apart. They could meet at the same moon, always and then they could go back. And then, they would never be fully apart. Arcane had liked that. So naturally,  she had grabbed Kal’s face and made him promise that they would go ‘to the moon and back’ if they were ever apart. It became a goodbye for them, a way of saying ‘I’ll see you soon’. 
“Yeah,” Kal had replied, a smile barely curling through his lips, “I’ll race ya there.”
~
She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, letting her memories flow down her cheeks and into the bedsheets, but eventually she had to get up. She pulled herself up and off the bed, limbs protesting at the use. She just needed a few days is all, then she wouldn’t even remember what she was crying for.  Kalon didn’t mean anything to her anymore.
thank you for reading this far, i love all of you. just throw out ideas please. or give me some advice, i would love that. whether its about my writing or the plot i would love to have tips and constructive criticism on how to get better! tagging some moots who i hope dont hate me after this below the cut:
@natashxromanovf @pad-foots @griffxnnage @voidmalfoy @flxss-bxbblxs @alwaysreading @herondalesunsetcurve THANKS YALL I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I EXPRESS AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVE
15 notes · View notes
neverdoingmuch · 3 years
Text
now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)
wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”
but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere
they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop
when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff
anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?
and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica
he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book
when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake
he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does
like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?
pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.
nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch
wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you
wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin
so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn
wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 
and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)
so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)
wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??
he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.
he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week
wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 
he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)
also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible
by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 
he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing
cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made
(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)
wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot
cue lan wangji
lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 
while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing
lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot
he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do
as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 
he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot
anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 
i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out
they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 
when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university
lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow
they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on
and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 
wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??
anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills
anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!
lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.
regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 
lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??
he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long
after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books
and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time
141 notes · View notes